a_o book_n which_o the_o lord_n at_o that_o time_n open_v my_o heart_n to_o ask_v for_o which_o be_v drex_n d._n eternit_fw-la and_o true_o upon_o the_o perusal_n of_o that_o treatise_n i_o think_v nay_o i_o be_o sure_a the_o burden_n of_o my_o sin_n seem_v to_o be_v renew_v and_o i_o can_v express_v that_o unspeakable_a sorrow_n which_o i_o then_o have_v in_o my_o poor_a soul_n by_o reason_n of_o all_o its_o mighty_a sin_n and_o true_o i_o hope_v the_o mercy_n of_o god_n be_v not_o a_o little_a cause_n of_o my_o trouble_n to_o think_v that_o i_o shall_v have_v none_o to_o offend_v and_o kick_v against_o but_o those_o bowel_n yea_o those_o tender_a bowel_n of_o pity_n and_o compassion_n which_o have_v so_o long_o yearn_v over_o my_o poor_a soul_n and_o have_v so_o long_o shield_v off_o the_o stroke_n of_o justice_n which_o be_v so_o long_o hang_v over_o my_o provoke_a head_n and_o then_o oh_o then_o i_o do_v unspeakable_o desire_v the_o pardon_n of_o my_o sin_n and_o then_o do_v feel_v the_o burden_n of_o they_o so_o unsupportable_a that_o i_o do_v earnest_o beg_v of_o the_o lord_n that_o they_o may_v be_v lay_v upon_o the_o lord_n jesus_n who_o be_v able_a to_o bear_v they_o and_o do_v endeavour_v by_o earnest_a prayer_n to_o obtain_v a_o smile_n from_o god_n in_o and_o through_o jesus_n christ_n for_o out_o of_o christ_n he_o be_v a_o terrible_a god_n and_o a_o consume_a fire_n and_o so_o i_o forthwith_o resolve_v to_o take_v up_o with_o all_o outward_a duty_n as_o prayer_n reading_n hear_v confer_v with_o good_a christian_n and_o i_o can_v but_o let_v you_o know_v that_o the_o first_o sermon_n i_o hear_v in_o this_o condition_n be_v out_o of_o 1_o tim._n 1.15_o where_o it_o be_v say_v that_o christ_n come_v into_o the_o world_n to_o save_v sinner_n of_o who_o i_o not_o paul_n only_o but_o i_o even_o i_o be_o chief_a and_o so_o i_o go_v on_o through_o fear_n and_o tremble_a and_o not_o without_o some_o joy_n and_o hope_n that_o the_o lord_n who_o have_v begin_v a_o good_a work_n in_o i_o will_v finish_v it_o in_o his_o good_a time_n which_o god_n grant_v for_o christ_n his_o sake_n min._n and_o be_v this_o which_o you_o have_v speak_v from_o your_o own_o experience_n be_v it_o indeed_o as_o i_o hope_v it_o be_v than_o i_o can_v no_o long_o for_o bear_v but_o say_v with_o good_a zacharias_n bless_a be_v the_o lord_n god_n of_o israel_n who_o have_v visit_v and_o redeem_v his_o people_n and_o among_o they_o thy_o poor_a soul_n and_o now_o i_o say_v again_o take_v heed_n of_o spiritual_a pride_n think_v very_o lowly_a of_o thyself_o and_o give_v glory_n to_o god_n and_o now_o dear_a heart_n give_v i_o leave_v for_o the_o good_a of_o thy_o eternal_a welfare_n to_o examine_v thou_o of_o some_o thing_n which_o thou_o have_v touch_v upon_o in_o the_o last_o discourse_n that_o so_o i_o may_v be_v assure_v that_o that_o work_n which_o the_o lord_n have_v begin_v in_o thou_o may_v prove_v as_o a_o tree_n plant_v and_o root_v in_o thy_o renew_a heart_n by_o the_o spirit_n of_o god_n and_o not_o of_o thy_o own_o set_n and_o for_o the_o accomplish_n of_o which_o weighty_a work_n it_o will_v be_v convenient_a to_o inquire_v what_o fruit_n it_o have_v since_o bear_v for_o the_o tree_n may_v be_v know_v by_o its_o fruit_n therefore_o in_o brief_a what_o have_v thou_o find_v in_o thy_o heart_n concern_v sin_n conu._n sin_n true_o i_o be_o not_o able_a now_o to_o express_v that_o unspeakable_a bitterness_n i_o then_o find_v in_o it_o oh_o how_o do_v i_o hate_v it_o and_o pursue_v it_o with_o the_o great_a zeal_n and_o detestation_n possible_a oh_o how_o do_v my_o heart_n rise_v at_o the_o very_a appearance_n of_o it_o and_o true_o if_o it_o do_v not_o very_o great_o deceive_v i_o i_o think_v i_o hate_v it_o more_o than_o death_n itself_o and_o shall_v have_v choose_v death_n rather_o than_o wilful_o commit_v the_o least_o know_a sin_n and_o if_o there_o have_v be_v no_o hell_n yet_o as_o i_o have_v often_o say_v sin_n shall_v have_v be_v my_o hell_n and_o holiness_n my_o heaven_n min._n i_o be_o glad_a to_o hear_v what_o thou_o have_v say_v but_o what_o sin_n be_v they_o thou_o so_o hate_v it_o may_v be_v they_o be_v great_a and_o dreadful_a fin_n as_o blasphemy_n and_o murder_n etc._n etc._n but_o what_o do_v thou_o think_v of_o heart_n sin_n and_o evil_a motion_n which_o i_o be_o sure_a will_v much_o beset_v thou_o conu._n oh_o of_o i_o know_v my_o own_o heart_n these_o be_v the_o great_a enemy_n that_o i_o have_v to_o encounter_v these_o be_v they_o that_o like_v unto_o so_o many_o goliah_n bid_v defiance_n to_o what_o christ_n have_v wrought_v in_o my_o poor_a soul_n and_o do_v endeavour_v to_o retake_v the_o fort-royal_a of_o my_o heart_n which_o the_o lord_n be_v about_o to_o make_v a_o temple_n for_o his_o glorious_a image_n to_o dwell_v in_o and_z oh_o bless_a be_v free_a grace_n and_o let_v all_o that_o hear_v of_o this_o stand_v and_o admire_v and_o give_v glory_n to_o god_n min._n the_o lord_n preserve_v this_o bless_a enmity_n still_o more_o and_o more_o in_o thy_o heart_n and_o now_o tell_v i_o which_o way_n thou_o wente_v about_o to_o engage_v against_o and_o so_o to_o overcome_v these_o great_a goliah_n though_o common_o know_v by_o the_o name_n of_o peccadillo_n conu._n oh_o now_o now_o you_o come_v very_o near_o i_o and_o this_o even_o pierce_v between_o the_o bone_n and_o marrow_n and_o the_o lord_n who_o be_v the_o searcher_n of_o heart_n and_o know_v the_o thought_n and_o act_n of_o every_o soul_n give_v i_o understanding_n in_o this_o point_n that_o i_o may_v say_v nothing_o but_o what_o i_o real_o find_v in_o my_o own_o soul_n oh_o than_o i_o do_v presume_v too_o much_o upon_o my_o own_o strength_n and_o do_v not_o lay_v they_o at_o the_o foot_n of_o christ_n who_o then_o i_o hope_v i_o take_v for_o my_o lord_n and_o king_n and_o do_v not_o as_o i_o fear_v whole_o depend_v upon_o his_o kingly_a power_n which_o be_v to_o overcome_v and_o subdue_v all_o those_o enemy_n which_o rise_v up_o in_o the_o heart_n of_o his_o child_n and_o make_v war_n against_o he_o and_o will_v not_o that_o he_o shall_v rule_v over_o they_o for_o sure_o have_v i_o thus_o do_v he_o will_v not_o have_v suffer_v they_o so_o often_o to_o assault_v i_o and_o even_o sometime_o overcome_v i_o as_o i_o shall_v god_n will_v make_v clear_a to_o you_o by_o and_o by_o min._n still_o i_o have_v great_a cause_n to_o admire_v the_o goodness_n of_o god_n to_o thy_o poor_a soul_n in_o that_o he_o have_v be_v please_v now_o to_o open_v thy_o eye_n to_o see_v this_o thy_o great_a mistake_n which_o doubtless_o have_v not_o the_o lord_n in_o time_n reveal_v it_o to_o thou_o it_o will_v have_v prove_v a_o sore_a evil_n and_o it_o may_v be_v thou_o may_v not_o have_v see_v it_o before_o it_o have_v be_v too_o late_o and_o now_o tell_v i_o which_o way_n thou_o wente_v about_o to_o destroy_v thy_o sin_n see_v thou_o be_v ignorant_a in_o great_a measure_n in_o apply_v the_o death_n of_o christ_n to_o kill_v they_o conu._n the_o chief_a instrument_n that_o i_o use_v in_o this_o work_n be_v prayer_n and_o sometime_o fast_v which_o i_o find_v very_o powerful_a to_o batter_v down_o the_o strong_a hold_n of_o satan_n in_o my_o poor_a soul_n for_o which_o doubtless_o i_o be_v not_o to_o be_v blame_v if_o so_o be_v that_o i_o have_v use_v they_o only_o as_o a_o mean_n to_o have_v raise_v up_o my_o heart_n to_o christ_n and_o so_o as_o they_o be_v appoint_v of_o god_n to_o be_v the_o way_n and_o mean_n whereby_o i_o may_v have_v recourse_n to_o he_o who_o alone_o be_v able_a for_o so_o great_a a_o work_n but_o woe_n to_o my_o ignorant_a and_o proud_a heart_n that_o will_v not_o total_o submit_v to_o god_n but_o idolise_v prayer_n and_o repentance_n and_o fast_v as_o if_o these_o have_v be_v the_o captain_n of_o the_o soul_n salvation_n whereas_o they_o be_v but_o empty_a in_o themselves_o and_o nothing_o worth_a no_o more_o than_o as_o they_o lead_v i_o to_o christ_n who_o alone_o be_v the_o captain_n and_o horn_n of_o my_o salvation_n min._n and_o now_o i_o think_v it_o will_v not_o be_v amiss_o to_o let_v i_o hear_v how_o you_o carry_v yourself_o in_o the_o great_a duty_n of_o prayer_n and_o how_o soon_o you_o enter_v upon_o the_o duty_n conu._n the_o lord_n be_v please_v within_o two_o or_o three_o day_n after_o my_o first_o trouble_n to_o incline_v my_o heart_n to_o seek_v he_o by_o prayer_n which_o i_o use_v constant_o twice_o a_o day_n beside_o some_o private_a ejaculation_n and_o sigh_n between_o while_n and_o i_o will_v now_o tell_v
witness_n to_o a_o lie_n will_v goodness_n itself_o put_v a_o cheat_n upon_o poor_a creature_n and_o that_o in_o a_o matter_n of_o such_o vast_a consequence_n as_o eternity_n can_v we_o conceive_v that_o he_o which_o command_v we_o not_o to_o deceive_v our_o neighbour_n shall_v deceive_v we_o shall_v any_o that_o call_v himself_o a_o christian_n entertain_v such_o blasphemous_a apprehension_n of_o the_o bless_a jehovah_n well_o then_o if_o it_o be_v so_o that_o child_n of_o god_n love_v solid_a and_o unexpressible_a joy_n many_o time_n even_o on_o this_o side_n glory_n do_v not_o this_o then_o prove_v that_o hereat_a they_o shall_v be_v happy_a and_o that_o beyond_o the_o apprehension_n of_o man_n and_o tongue_n of_o angel_n for_o the_o saint_n in_o his_o great_a dimension_n full_a enjoyment_n and_o tall_a stature_n on_o this_o side_n the_o grace_n be_v but_o a_o child_n a_o dwarf_n a_o worm_n in_o comparison_n of_o what_o he_o will_v be_v the_o next_o moment_n after_o his_o dissolution_n for_o the_o proof_n of_o this_o you_o may_v read_v over_o these_o and_o other_o scripture_n psal_n 16.11_o psal_n 42.5_o luk._n 16.22_o 2_o cor._n 4.7_o revel_v 13.14_o 3._o may_v i_o not_o bring_v in_o the_o wicked_a themselves_o as_o witness_n of_o the_o saint_n happiness_n and_o their_o own_o misery_n the_o saint_n wisdom_n and_o their_o folly_n what_o else_o be_v the_o meaning_n of_o balaam_n wish_n why_o shall_v he_o be_v so_o desirous_a to_o die_v the_o death_n of_o the_o saint_n and_o to_o have_v his_o latter_a end_n like_o he_o if_o he_o be_v not_o thorough_o convince_v of_o this_o that_o holiness_n be_v no_o madness_n piety_n no_o fancy_n and_o religion_n no_o delusion_n what_o be_v it_o that_o make_v those_o in_o mat._n 26.8_o to_o cry_v out_o so_o importunate_o give_v we_o of_o your_o oil_n for_o our_o lamp_n be_v go_v out_o i_o be_o persuade_v that_o all_o the_o reprobate_n in_o hell_n will_v one_o day_n justify_v the_o child_n of_o god_n for_o their_o seriousness_n and_o wish_v a_o thousand_o time_n that_o they_o have_v have_v their_o scorn_n loss_n torment_n it_o be_v no_o unusual_a thing_n for_o they_o which_o have_v to_o do_v with_o die_a person_n to_o hear_v they_o cry_v out_o with_o anguish_n when_o their_o time_n be_v spend_v and_o their_o sand_n be_v run_v out_o o_o you_o be_v happy_a o_o that_o i_o be_v but_o in_o the_o condition_n of_o the_o poor_a and_o miserable_a saint_n upon_o earth_n o_o that_o i_o have_v but_o pray_v with_o fervency_n hear_v with_o seriousness_n and_o mind_v my_o soul_n in_o good_a earnest_n happy_a be_v they_o that_o have_v not_o all_o their_o work_n to_o do_v in_o a_o die_a hour_n o_o happy_a be_v they_o that_o have_v some_o cordial_n to_o comfort_v they_o in_o a_o time_n of_o such_o distress_n o_o a_o christ_n a_o christ_n ten_o thousand_o world_n now_o for_o that_o christ_n which_o i_o despise_a these_o be_v thing_n we_o be_v acquaint_v with_o well_o then_o our_o enemy_n themselves_o be_v judge_n a_o israelite_n indeed_o be_v a_o person_n of_o true_a worth_n and_o without_o controversy_n his_o estate_n be_v and_o shall_v be_v comfortable_a bless_a and_o glorious_a 4._o how_o great_a be_v the_o absurdity_n that_o else_o will_v follow_v will_v not_o the_o devil_n boast_v that_o he_o have_v do_v more_o for_o his_o follower_n than_o christ_n have_v do_v for_o he_o will_v it_o not_o follow_v that_o saint_n be_v the_o most_o miserable_a fool_n in_o the_o world_n then_o it_o will_v be_v to_o no_o purpose_n to_o deny_v one_o self_n to_o fight_v with_o beast_n at_o ephesus_n to_o bear_v the_o contradiction_n of_o sinner_n then_o christ_n die_v for_o nothing_o or_o have_v do_v his_o work_n by_o the_o half_n then_o there_o be_v no_o credit_n to_o be_v give_v to_o the_o bible_n god_n be_v worse_a than_o his_o word_n and_o the_o scripture_n promise_n be_v false_a then_o paul_n confidence_n be_v madness_n and_o his_o boast_n make_v void_a then_o all_o preach_v be_v a_o cheat_n and_o the_o minister_n of_o christ_n be_v impostorâ—_n and_o the_o wicked_a be_v in_o the_o right_n then_o david_n will_v have_v better_a reason_n to_o say_v he_o have_v cleanse_v his_o hand_n in_o vain_a and_o that_o his_o frequent_a devotion_n be_v to_o no_o purpose_n and_o his_o song_n at_o midnight_n but_o the_o dotage_n of_o a_o extravagant_a fancy_n and_o hour_n which_o be_v spend_v in_o prayer_n and_o meditation_n be_v pure_o lose_v what_o say_v thou_o to_o this_o o_o christian_a will_v not_o this_o be_v sad_a news_n indeed_o if_o all_o thy_o hope_n shall_v come_v to_o this_o but_o be_v of_o good_a cheer_n this_o be_v the_o doctrine_n which_o the_o devil_n and_o his_o minister_n do_v preach_v as_o long_o as_o god_n be_v true_a you_o shall_v not_o be_v deceive_v as_o long_o as_o he_o be_v happy_a you_o shall_v not_o be_v miserable_a and_o till_o hell_n have_v get_v above_o heaven_n you_o be_v well_o enough_o go_v on_o therefore_o resolute_o and_o let_v nothing_o daunt_v thou_o it_o be_v but_o yet_o a_o little_a while_n and_o you_o shall_v see_v all_o this_o and_o more_o than_o this_o a_o thousand_o time_n make_v good_a to_o thou_o fear_v not_o it_o be_v god_n who_o have_v speak_v it_o and_o he_o command_v his_o servant_n john_n to_o write_v and_o jeave_v it_o upon_o record_n that_o they_o which_o die_v in_o the_o lord_n be_v bless_v and_o they_o shall_v rest_v from_o their_o labour_n and_o their_o work_n do_v follow_v they_o 3._o the_o next_o thing_n which_o i_o promise_v to_o speak_v to_o be_v to_o show_v wherein_o the_o blessedness_n of_o depart_a saint_n do_v consist_v but_o what_o work_n be_o i_o now_o about_o who_o be_v sufficient_a for_o these_o thing_n what_o tongue_n can_v utter_v the_o least_o part_n of_o that_o glory_n what_o heart_n imagine_v its_o transcendent_a excellency_n and_o what_o ear_n can_v bear_v it_o shall_v such_o a_o one_o as_o moses_n enoch_n or_o elias_n come_v sparkle_v in_o his_o robe_n in_o the_o habit_n of_o a_o glorify_a saint_n and_o shall_v he_o but_o tell_v you_o what_o a_o sight_n he_o have_v see_v what_o melody_n he_o hear_v what_o employment_n he_o be_v engage_v in_o what_o possession_n he_o enjoy_v where_o will_v he_o endure_v it_o i_o be_o persuade_v if_o in_o this_o mortal_a state_n god_n shall_v let_v in_o the_o soul_n the_o hundred_o thousand_o part_n of_o that_o glory_n which_o saint_n enjoy_v in_o heaven_n it_o will_v in_o a_o moment_n sink_v a_o man_n and_o make_v such_o body_n as_o we_o now_o be_v wither_v to_o dust_n i_o have_v see_v a_o great_a many_o fine_a thing_n in_o my_o time_n i_o have_v hear_v of_o more_o but_o i_o can_v easy_o imagine_v more_o than_o ever_o all_o the_o prince_n of_o the_o earth_n in_o their_o great_a splendour_n enjoy_v and_o yet_o here_o i_o be_o at_o a_o loss_n and_o no_o wonder_n for_o it_o be_v beyond_o the_o reach_n of_o saint_n and_o angel_n in_o heaven_n full_o to_o conceive_v what_o their_o own_o happiness_n be_v and_o i_o believe_v it_o be_v no_o small_a part_n of_o their_o joy_n that_o they_o serve_v a_o master_n who_o love_v to_o outdo_v not_o only_o desert_n and_o expectation_n but_o even_o the_o imagination_n of_o his_o creature_n how_o then_o can_v such_o a_o poor_a worm_n as_o i_o be_o manage_v such_o a_o work_n as_o this_o be_v because_o i_o can_v say_v all_o must_v i_o say_v nothing_o and_o pass_v this_o over_o with_o silence_n and_o admiration_n because_o this_o be_v a_o great_a deep_a which_o our_o plummet_n can_v fathom_v a_o ocean_n that_o have_v no_o shore_n shall_v we_o therefore_o never_o sail_v in_o it_o god_n forbid_v o_o may_v it_o be_v my_o work_n in_o time_n and_o to_o eternity_n to_o praise_v that_o infinite_a boundless_a excellency_n that_o be_v in_o my_o god_n though_o these_o be_v matter_n which_o one_o will_v think_v shall_v command_v attention_n and_o affection_n both_o yet_o if_o we_o consult_v the_o life_n of_o all_o yea_o the_o high_a experience_n of_o the_o best_a notwithstanding_o these_o thing_n be_v so_o frequent_o inculcate_v and_o so_o passionate_o recommend_v to_o our_o consideration_n yet_o where_o be_v the_o man_n or_o woman_n to_o be_v find_v that_o lie_v under_o the_o lively_a impression_n of_o these_o thing_n and_o therefore_o i_o shall_v think_v it_o not_o impertinent_a if_o i_o dwell_v upon_o that_o a_o hour_n which_o will_v be_v the_o subject_n of_o your_o meditation_n and_o foundation_n of_o your_o comfort_n if_o ever_o you_o understand_v what_o christianity_n in_o the_o life_n of_o it_o mean_n this_o only_a by_o the_o by_o a_o little_a to_o quicken_v your_o attention_n i_o come_v now_o to_o my_o business_n to_o show_v you_o wherein_o the_o saint_n happiness_n after_o death_n consist_v 1._o it_o consist_v in_o a_o
and_o worship_n that_o and_o shall_v do_v what_o i_o do_v more_o to_o advantage_n self_n than_o christ_n oh_o i_o say_v again_o what_o a_o wonder_n it_o be_v that_o ever_o he_o be_v please_v to_o let_v i_o see_v my_o folly_n and_o oh_o if_o he_o shall_v not_o have_v do_v it_o yet_o in_o this_o particular_a how_o inexcusable_a have_v i_o be_v which_o will_v appear_v in_o the_o next_o answer_n min._n now_o let_v i_o know_v when_o and_o in_o what_o manner_n the_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o magnify_v his_o grace_n in_o convince_a you_o of_o the_o insufficiency_n of_o your_o own_o righteousness_n and_o of_o the_o rest_n in_o duty_n conu._n i_o will_v likewise_o make_v this_o as_o plain_a to_o you_o as_o the_o lord_n shall_v enable_v i_o so_o that_o i_o may_v not_o be_v find_v guilty_a of_o a_o spiritual_a lie_n and_o to_o the_o best_a of_o my_o remembrance_n about_o four_o month_n after_o my_o powerful_a call_n when_o as_o i_o think_v i_o be_v assure_o in_o a_o most_o happy_a condition_n have_v pass_v through_o abundant_a of_o trial_n and_o temptation_n and_o i_o begin_v to_o find_v they_o somewhat_o to_o flee_v before_o i_o of_o which_o you_o shall_v hear_v anon_o more_o at_o large_a then_o oh_o then_o the_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o put_v into_o my_o hand_n a_o little_a book_n entitle_v the_o christian_n great_a interest_n by_o mr._n guthry_n which_o when_o i_o peruse_v i_o find_v i_o be_v much_o concern_v in_o it_o and_o be_v somewhat_o trouble_v but_o it_o so_o violent_o accuse_v i_o of_o my_o dalilah_n righteousness_n which_o i_o love_v too_o well_o to_o see_v as_o i_o think_v abuse_v with_o a_o small_a sigh_n or_o the_o like_a i_o command_v it_o to_o depart_v and_o not_o to_o dare_v to_o come_v and_o control_n my_o idol_n self_n any_o more_o yet_o it_o make_v my_o way_n so_o plain_a before_o i_o that_o i_o can_v not_o withstand_v it_o a_o little_a while_n after_o the_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o put_v into_o my_o hand_n another_o book_n for_o which_o i_o have_v abundant_a cause_n to_o bless_v god_n which_o be_v the_o sincere_a convert_n and_o read_v the_o latter_a part_n of_o that_o which_o treat_v concern_v carnal_a confidence_n and_o rest_v in_o duty_n all_o which_o do_v very_o much_o concern_v i_o i_o be_v very_o much_o trouble_v and_o begin_v to_o question_v my_o estate_n a_o little_a concern_v duty_n but_o true_o i_o take_v so_o little_a delight_n in_o this_o that_o i_o soon_o lay_v it_o by_o and_o return_v it_o to_o the_o place_n from_o whence_o it_o come_v and_o likewise_o i_o have_v other_o book_n as_o mr._n baxters_n self-denial_n which_o i_o read_v part_n of_o with_o much_o delight_n as_o in_o reference_n in_o deny_v self-pleasure_n and_o sinful_a recreation_n and_o vain_a company_n etc._n etc._n all_o these_o yield_a comfort_n to_o i_o because_o i_o find_v that_o i_o do_v real_o desire_v to_o deny_v myself_o all_o these_o and_o make_v it_o a_o great_a ground_n of_o comfort_n to_o i_o that_o i_o can_v so_o earnest_o desire_v their_o destruction_n but_o when_o i_o come_v to_o the_o denial_n of_o self-righteousness_n this_o be_v a_o hard_a say_n and_o self_n will_v not_o bear_v it_o but_o away_o i_o go_v to_o those_o book_n where_o i_o can_v find_v out_o as_o i_o think_v a_o way_n to_o heaven_n by_o my_o own_o work_n and_o those_o that_o treat_v most_o of_o a_o holy_a life_n be_v the_o most_o please_a to_o i_o but_o when_o i_o read_v concern_v christ_n or_o hear_v he_o teach_v to_o i_o by_o his_o minister_n for_o although_o i_o have_v omit_v how_o my_o heart_n be_v in_o hear_v yet_o i_o will_v desire_v you_o to_o include_v that_o and_o to_o suppose_v that_o my_o heart_n be_v in_o that_o as_o in_o read_v or_o confer_v with_o respect_n to_o the_o subject_n i_o say_v when_o i_o hear_v christ_n teach_v by_o his_o minister_n either_o in_o a_o pulpit_n or_o a_o book_n i_o much_o delight_v in_o that_o i_o hear_v or_o read_v but_o when_o justification_n alone_o by_o faith_n in_o christ_n merit_n and_o live_v by_o faith_n upon_o a_o naked_a christ_n as_o peradventure_o i_o may_v be_v put_v too_o upon_o a_o sick_a bed_n by_o reason_n of_o a_o violent_a disease_n or_o the_o like_a that_o i_o can_v not_o have_v strength_n of_o body_n nor_o composure_n of_o mind_n to_o perform_v duty_n as_o in_o a_o fever_n or_o a_o fit_a of_o the_o stone_n or_o gout_n etc._n etc._n i_o say_v when_o these_o noble_a and_o heavenborn_a mystery_n be_v treat_v on_o i_o be_v much_o to_o seek_v and_o can_v take_v but_o little_a comfort_n from_o they_o and_o so_o i_o go_v on_o from_o duty_n to_o duty_n and_o if_o at_o any_o time_n i_o find_v my_o heart_n dead_a and_o can_v for_o that_o day_n or_o week_n or_o month_n it_o may_v be_v find_v any_o comfort_n from_o they_o than_o i_o live_v in_o hope_n that_o although_o i_o find_v not_o all_o well_o at_o present_a yet_o it_o will_v not_o long_o continue_v so_o with_o i_o and_o so_o in_o some_o time_n i_o recover_v life_n and_o comfort_n again_o i_o say_v i_o continue_v thus_o for_o the_o space_n of_o above_o three_o year_n and_o now_o i_o will_v declare_v one_o thing_n which_o do_v more_o trouble_v i_o than_o ordinary_a and_o that_o be_v in_o august_n last_o 67._o it_o happen_v that_o as_o i_o be_v visit_v a_o patient_a and_o for_o this_o thing_n in_o particular_a i_o have_v cause_n to_o bless_v god_n that_o he_o place_v i_o in_o this_o my_o call_n who_o we_o suppose_v the_o lord_n will_v take_v away_o at_o that_o very_a time_n there_o come_v dr._n b._n to_o perform_v as_o be_v think_v onâ—_n of_o the_o last_o duty_n he_o have_v to_o do_v 〈◊〉_d and_o among_o his_o discourse_n and_o adâ—â—â—_n 〈◊〉_d bid_v she_o be_v sure_a to_o lay_v all_o her_o sin_n upon_o christ_n which_o i_o like_v very_o well_o but_o withal_o that_o she_o shall_v lay_v all_o her_o own_o righteousness_n at_o his_o foot_n and_o not_o at_o all_o â—o_o trust_v to_o any_o good_a she_o have_v in_o her_o seâ—f_n but_o whole_o to_o rely_v upon_o the_o merit_n of_o christ_n which_o when_o i_o hear_v my_o heart_n rise_v much_o against_o what_o he_o say_v and_o do_v much_o oppose_v his_o advice_n and_o think_v it_o not_o at_o all_o convenient_a to_o be_v speak_v and_o doubtless_o have_v i_o be_v in_o her_o condition_n i_o mean_v so_o near_a death_n as_o it_o be_v think_v she_o be_v and_o he_o have_v advise_v i_o to_o the_o same_o thing_n and_o have_v clear_v it_o to_o i_o oh_o what_o a_o dreadful_a visitation_n have_v that_o be_v sure_o it_o will_v have_v put_v my_o soul_n into_o such_o a_o dreadful_a agony_n of_o confusion_n if_o not_o despair_v that_o sure_o i_o shall_v have_v dye_v a_o second_o death_n before_o i_o know_v the_o pang_n of_o the_o first_o but_o oh_o i_o say_v again_o who_o can_v hear_v of_o this_o and_o not_o be_v overcome_v with_o soul_n ravish_v admiration_n of_o the_o love_n and_o goodness_n and_o patience_n of_o god_n towards_o such_o a_o wretched_a nothing_o as_o i_o be_v that_o ever_o he_o shall_v so_o long_o forbear_v from_o destroy_v that_o soul_n with_o eternal_a damnation_n that_o will_v not_o with_o the_o cord_n of_o love_n be_v draw_v to_o accept_v of_o so_o clear_a salvation_n but_o the_o lord_n be_v please_v still_o to_o keep_v this_o upon_o my_o heart_n and_o although_o i_o be_v somewhat_o trouble_v but_o as_o before_o again_o i_o go_v to_o my_o old_a physician_n and_o take_v a_o small_a pill_n of_o prayer_n compose_v of_o a_o little_a fear_n and_o humiliation_n but_o no_o soon_o it_o get_v into_o my_o heart_n but_o there_o it_o be_v guilt_n with_o pride_n and_o so_o again_o become_v pleasant_a to_o i_o and_o then_o i_o think_v all_o be_v well_o and_o i_o do_v desire_n earnest_o that_o by_o this_o god_n may_v be_v much_o glorify_v and_o again_o methinks_v i_o find_v my_o heart_n so_o mighty_o incline_v to_o go_v on_o in_o this_o work_n which_o at_o your_o request_n you_o may_v remember_v i_o be_v so_o unwilling_a to_o undertake_v that_o 〈◊〉_d have_v great_a hope_n there_o may_v be_v the_o hand_n of_o god_n in_o it_o and_o that_o it_o be_v he_o that_o put_v it_o into_o your_o heart_n to_o request_v if_o of_o i_o and_o i_o pray_v god_n it_o may_v be_v his_o glory_n alone_o that_o may_v move_v i_o to_o it_o and_o not_o any_o self-pride_n true_o you_o may_v say_v i_o have_v great_a cause_n to_o fear_v and_o not_o to_o trust_v my_o own_o heart_n any_o more_o and_o the_o lord_n preserve_v this_o jealousy_n more_o and_o more_o in_o i_o but_o to_o my_o present_a purpose_n and_o this_o which_o i_o be_o about_o to_o say_v may_v have_v prove_v a_o great_a disadvantage_n to_o i_o