something_o to_o it_o before_o prayer_n often_o exhort_v his_o family_n to_o a_o reverend_a demeanour_n of_o themselves_o in_o the_o worship_n of_o god_n and_o will_v be_v much_o trouble_v when_o he_o understand_v or_o discern_v any_o thing_n to_o the_o contrary_n once_o a_o week_n for_o the_o most_o part_n he_o do_v catechise_v both_o child_n and_o servant_n either_o out_o of_o the_o assembly_n or_o his_o own_o scriptural_a catechism_n and_o explain_v it_o to_o they_o and_o once_o a_o fortnight_n if_o not_o divert_v by_o urgent_a occasion_n he_o go_v over_o some_o principle_n of_o religion_n open_v and_o explain_v it_o in_o a_o catiehistical_a way_n which_o his_o child_n and_o servant_n be_v to_o give_v he_o a_o account_n of_o the_o next_o fortnight_n and_o when_o they_o have_v so_o do_v he_o proceed_v to_o another_o principle_n and_o thus_o he_o do_v from_o time_n to_o time_n what_o sermon_n the_o youth_n of_o the_o family_n hear_v upon_o the_o lord_n day_n or_o at_o any_o other_o time_n they_o give_v a_o account_n thereof_o to_o he_o as_o they_o can_v remember_v he_o keep_v private_a day_n of_o humiliation_n with_o his_o family_n as_o often_o as_o he_o can_v gain_v opportunity_n for_o it_o on_o which_o day_n he_o will_v if_o not_o prevent_v deal_v particular_o with_o every_o one_o or_o as_o many_o as_o he_o have_v time_n for_o that_o be_v under_o his_o charge_n about_o the_o matter_n of_o their_o soul_n and_o take_v care_n that_o all_o in_o his_o family_n shall_v call_v upon_o god_n and_o pray_v to_o he_o in_o secret_a as_o well_o as_o be_v present_a at_o family_n duty_n and_o when_o any_o of_o his_o brethren_n come_v to_o usit_fw-la he_o he_o be_v not_o willing_a to_o let_v they_o depart_v without_o prayer_n his_o family_n be_v a_o house_n of_o prayer_n these_o his_o labour_n in_o his_o family_n god_n bless_v and_o succeed_v to_o the_o spiritual_a good_a of_o several_a that_o come_v under_o his_o roof_n he_o be_v most_o tender_o conscientious_a in_o keep_v holy_a the_o sabbath_n day_n whereof_o he_o be_v a_o strict_a observer_n and_o take_v care_n that_o all_o under_o his_o roof_n shall_v do_v the_o same_o he_o keep_v a_o very_a severe_a watch_n not_o only_o over_o his_o word_n and_o action_n but_o his_o very_a thought_n also_o quick_o reflect_v thereon_o not_o only_a when_o vain_a and_o sinful_a but_o when_o impertinent_a to_o the_o holiness_n and_o duty_n of_o the_o day_n whereof_o he_o have_v leave_v the_o follow_a testimony_n april_n 29._o 1666._o my_o heart_n be_v much_o out_o of_o frame_n upon_o the_o lord_n day_n full_a of_o vain_a and_o sinful_a thought_n as_o i_o be_v go_v to_o prayer_n in_o the_o afternoon_n alone_o god_n bring_v to_o remembrance_n ps_n 40._o 12_o 17._o innumerable_a evil_n have_v compass_a i_o about_o my_o iniquity_n have_v take_v hold_v upon_o i_o so_o that_o i_o be_o not_o able_a to_o look_v up_o yet_o the_o lord_n think_v upon_o i_o this_o be_v a_o stay_n to_o i_o apr._n 4._o i_o go_v forth_o on_o several_a occasion_n none_o of_o they_o succeed_v the_o first_o contrivance_n of_o that_o journey_n be_v cast_v into_o my_o thought_n on_o the_o lord_n day_n in_o a_o time_n of_o prayer_n i_o lay_v it_o aside_o till_o monday_n and_o then_o consider_v further_o of_o it_o and_o see_v it_o convenient_a for_o the_o best_a order_v of_o my_o affair_n but_o not_o humble_v my_o soul_n for_o those_o contrivance_n so_o unreasonable_o arise_v in_o my_o mind_n i_o be_v cross_v in_o they_o hereupon_o i_o determine_v for_o time_n to_o come_v when_o any_o thought_n or_o contrivance_n about_o order_v my_o affair_n be_v cast_v into_o my_o mind_n on_o lord_n day_n or_o on_o other_o day_n in_o time_n of_o holy_a duty_n to_o lay_v they_o aside_o till_o a_o more_o convenient_a time_n and_o if_o upon_o deliberation_n that_o way_n of_o order_v my_o affair_n seem_v best_a which_o be_v cast_v into_o my_o mind_n in_o time_n of_o holy_a duty_n i_o will_v not_o hereupon_o neglect_v that_o way_n lest_o satan_n shall_v get_v advantage_n of_o i_o but_o i_o will_v first_o humble_v my_o soul_n for_o its_o wander_n and_o suffering_n such_o thought_n to_o arise_v so_o unreasonable_o and_o take_v to_o christ_n for_o pardon_n of_o the_o irregularity_n of_o my_o heart_n and_o then_o not_o fear_v to_o order_v my_o affair_n in_o that_o way_n that_o seem_v most_o agreeable_a to_o reason_n and_o near_o the_o rule_n of_o god_n word_n though_o the_o contrivance_n be_v first_o cast_v into_o my_o mind_n at_o a_o unseasonable_a time_n have_v a_o letter_n of_o spiritual_a advice_n and_o counsel_n to_o write_v to_o a_o friend_n and_o have_v no_o spare_a time_n but_o on_o the_o lord_n day_n to_o do_v it_o i_o be_v doubtful_a whether_o i_o may_v spend_v some_o part_n of_o that_o day_n on_o such_o employment_n as_o i_o be_v muse_v on_o my_o bed_n what_o i_o have_v best_o do_v that_o scripture_n come_v to_o my_o mind_n rev._n 1._o 10_o 11._o i_o be_v in_o the_o spirit_n on_o the_o lord_n day_n and_o i_o hear_v a_o voice_n say_v what_o thou_o see_v write_v in_o a_o book_n and_o send_v it_o to_o the_o seven_o church_n whence_o i_o conclude_v it_o to_o be_v lawful_a to_o write_v as_o well_o as_o read_v hear_v meditate_v and_o discourse_n of_o spirital_a matter_n on_o the_o lord_n day_n his_o charity_n have_v no_o less_o measure_n than_o the_o rest_n of_o his_o grace_n which_o he_o account_v one_o of_o the_o best_a character_n of_o a_o christian_n lament_v sometime_o the_o division_n among_o professor_n of_o religion_n he_o will_v say_v he_o do_v not_o value_v a_o christian_a by_o his_o great_a knowledge_n and_o eminent_a part_n but_o by_o his_o great_a charity_n and_o love_n to_o his_o brethren_n this_o he_o extend_v to_o various_a sort_n of_o object_n as_o towards_o those_o who_o be_v at_o difference_n one_o with_o another_o he_o be_v a_o industrious_a peacemaker_n offer_v himself_o to_o interpose_v to_o make_v up_o the_o breach_n take_v journey_n when_o at_o distance_n in_o order_n to_o it_o towards_o those_o that_o have_v difference_n with_o himself_o about_o worldly_a concern_v from_o which_o he_o be_v not_o altogether_o free_a though_o altogether_o innocent_a when_o he_o suffer_v wrong_a by_o any_o his_o care_n be_v that_o they_o shall_v suffer_v none_o by_o he_o or_o he_o either_o in_o word_n or_o deed_n always_o practise_v himself_o and_o counsel_v other_o to_o do_v good_a against_o evil_n he_o will_v make_v the_o best_a construction_n that_o be_v possible_a of_o the_o word_n and_o action_n of_o his_o adversary_n often_o make_v mention_n of_o that_o scripture_n 1_o cor._n 13._o 5._o charity_n think_v no_o evil_a towards_o his_o friend_n his_o friendship_n be_v hearty_a ingenuous_a faithful_a and_o open_a he_o receive_v they_o into_o his_o house_n glad_o entertain_v they_o liberal_o converse_v with_o they_o cheerful_o sympathise_v with_o they_o in_o their_o affliction_n affectionate_o and_o serve_v they_o as_o he_o have_v occasion_n industrious_o towards_o those_o that_o persecute_v he_o and_o other_o for_o conscience_n and_o religion_n sake_n he_o observe_v the_o command_n of_o christ_n math._n 5._o 44._o he_o affcctionate_o pity_v they_o and_o pray_v for_o they_o daily_o and_o when_o he_o hear_v any_o passionate_a expression_n against_o they_o for_o their_o violence_n and_o unrighteousness_n he_o will_v be_v offend_v and_o charge_v people_n to_o pray_v more_o earnest_o for_o they_o and_o seek_v opportunity_n to_o do_v they_o good_a towards_o those_o that_o dissent_v from_o he_o in_o the_o matter_n of_o god_n he_o have_v a_o spirit_n of_o meekness_n and_o forbearance_n embrace_v all_o with_o christian_a love_n who_o practice_n do_v not_o destroy_v their_o profession_n of_o christianity_n colchester_n be_v a_o very_a divide_a place_n when_o he_o be_v call_v thither_o upon_o the_o account_n of_o diverse_a persuasion_n yet_o he_o so_o behave_v himself_o with_o all_o humility_n modiration_n tenderness_n brotherly_a kindness_n and_o charitable_a judgement_n that_o they_o be_v general_o unite_v in_o their_o respect_n and_o esteem_v for_o he_o and_o though_o he_o can_v not_o with_o satisfaction_n to_o his_o conscience_n conform_v to_o all_o that_o the_o law_n require_v yet_o he_o judge_v many_o that_o do_v to_o be_v very_o good_a man_n and_o have_v a_o real_a honour_n for_o they_o towards_o the_o poor_a and_o such_o as_o be_v reduce_v to_o straits_n and_o difficulty_n in_o this_o world_n he_o be_v pitiful_a and_o bountiful_a he_o devise_v liberal_a thing_n and_o draw_v out_o his_o soul_n to_o the_o hungry_a in_o the_o exercise_n whereof_o he_o observe_v our_o saviour_n rule_n math._n 6._o 1_o 2_o 3._o this_o indeed_o be_v one_o of_o his_o secret_n which_o he_o always_o industrious_o conceal_v as_o much_o as_o he_o can_v yet_o variety_n of_o object_n bare_a
my_o spirit_n from_o those_o word_n of_o the_o prophet_n isa_n 40._o 27._o why_o say_v thou_o o_o jacob_n and_o speak_v o_o israel_n my_o way_n be_v hide_v from_o the_o lord_n and_o my_o judgement_n be_v pass_v over_o from_o my_o god_n and_o do_v encourage_v my_o soul_n still_o to_o hope_v in_o god_n and_o wait_v for_o his_o strength_n from_o the_o follow_a word_n v_o 28_o 29._o 31._o have_v thou_o not_o know_v have_v thou_o not_o hear_v if_o thou_o have_v not_o know_v it_o by_o experience_n have_v find_v his_o everlasting_a arm_n under_o thou_o for_o thy_o support_n yet_o have_v thou_o not_o at_o least_o hear_v it_o that_o the_o everlasting_a god_n the_o lord_n the_o creator_n of_o the_o end_n of_o the_o earth_n faint_v not_o neither_o be_v weary_a he_o give_v power_n to_o the_o faint_a etc._n etc._n continue_v thou_o therefore_o o_o my_o soul_n to_o wait_v upon_o the_o lord_n lord_n what_o a_o accurse_a hard_a heart_n have_v i_o that_o sin_n which_o grieve_v thou_o gen._n 6._o 6._o thy_n son_n mar._n 3._o 5._o thy_o spirit_n eph._n 4._o 30._o shall_v not_o grieve_v i_o that_o sin_n which_o weary_v thou_o isa_n 43._o 24._o shall_v not_o be_v a_o burden_n to_o i_o that_o i_o shall_v not_o be_v trouble_v for_o want_v of_o thy_o presence_n when_o as_o the_o hide_v of_o thy_o face_n make_v our_o saviour_n cry_v out_o my_o god_n my_o god_n why_o have_v thou_o forsake_v i_o that_o eternity_n and_o judgement_n to_o come_v shall_v make_v no_o impression_n upon_o i_o that_o i_o can_v hear_v yea_o speak_v of_o thy_o word_n thy_o wrath_n etc._n etc._n and_o yet_o not_o fear_v thou_o not_o tremble_v at_o thy_o word_n nor_o at_o this_o my_o condition_n feb._n 19_o be_v sabbath_n day_n have_v former_o perceive_v a_o desperate_a hardness_n in_o my_o heart_n that_o that_o word_n which_o work_v upon_o other_o shall_v do_v i_o no_o good_a that_o no_o mean_n no_o mercy_n do_v melt_v my_o soul_n and_o almost_o despair_v of_o ever_o have_v it_o soften_v after_o prayer_n i_o be_v encourage_v from_o the_o lord_n in_o read_v mr._n hooker_n upon_o act._n 2._o 37._o who_o from_o those_o word_n when_o they_o hear_v these_o thing_n they_o who_o have_v crucify_a our_o lord_n christ_n be_v prick_v at_o the_o heart_n raise_v this_o observation_n it_o be_v possible_a even_o for_o the_o most_o stubborn_a sinner_n to_o get_v a_o break_a heart_n and_o now_o o_o my_o soul_n why_o be_v thou_o cast_v down_o be_v not_o the_o lord_n great_a than_o thy_o heart_n can_v satan_n be_v more_o malicious_a to_o destroy_v thou_o than_o the_o lord_n be_v merciful_a to_o save_v thou_o yet_o the_o act_n of_o my_o faith_n hereupon_o be_v but_o faint_a upon_o examination_n of_o myself_o i_o have_v sometime_o find_v that_o to_o my_o own_o sense_n and_o feeling_n i_o have_v be_v altogether_o void_a of_o any_o love_n or_o fear_v of_o god_n and_o that_o i_o have_v be_v at_o such_o a_o time_n as_o unable_a to_o work_v up_o my_o heart_n into_o the_o love_n and_o fear_n of_o god_n as_o to_o say_v to_o this_o mountain_n be_v thou_o remove_v and_o cast_v into_o the_o sea_n such_o wonderful_a deadness_n have_v seize_v upon_o my_o soul_n so_o great_o have_v i_o be_v enslave_v and_o hold_v captive_a by_o satan_n that_o i_o have_v not_o be_v able_a true_o to_o desire_v the_o spirit_n of_o god_n o_o that_o my_o heart_n can_v bleed_v at_o the_o remembrance_n of_o this_o great_a evil_n that_o i_o shall_v not_o only_o be_v cut_v off_o from_o communion_n with_o god_n but_o be_v content_v with_o this_o condition_n that_o i_o shall_v have_v no_o groan_n in_o spirit_n to_o be_v deliver_v from_o this_o miserable_a bondage_n be_v instruct_v hence_o o_o my_o soul_n to_o ascribe_v every_o good_a motion_n to_o god_n if_o thou_o feel_v any_o hungring_n after_o jesus_n christ_n or_o any_o sorrow_n for_o want_n of_o god_n presence_n or_o the_o like_a own_o it_o as_o his_o work_n and_o bless_v he_o for_o it_o i_o have_v sometime_o find_v my_o condition_n much_o like_o the_o man_n mention_v joh._n 5._o who_o lay_v a_o long_a time_n by_o the_o pool_n of_o bethesda_n but_o be_v not_o able_a to_o put_v himself_o in_o that_o he_o may_v be_v heal_v even_o so_o it_o be_v with_o my_o soul_n though_o god_n have_v open_v a_o fountain_n for_o sin_n and_o for_o uncleanness_n to_o wash_v in_o and_o i_o find_v my_o soul_n exceed_o pollute_v yet_o i_o be_o not_o able_a to_o step_v into_o this_o fountain_n that_o i_o may_v be_v heal_v o_o my_o soul_n the_o lord_n see_v thy_o weakness_n and_o that_o thou_o have_v be_v now_o a_o long_a time_n in_o this_o case_n wait_v thou_o on_o god_n who_o can_v tell_v but_o that_o as_o the_o bowel_n of_o jesus_n christ_n do_v yearn_v towards_o the_o poor_a man_n so_o may_v his_o compassion_n be_v great_a towards_o thou_o and_o he_o may_v heal_v thou_o also_o cease_v not_o to_o importune_v he_o say_v jesus_n thou_o son_n of_o god_n have_v mercy_n on_o i_o o_o lord_n heal_v my_o soul_n have_v at_o several_a time_n find_v diverse_a work_n upon_o my_o heart_n as_o conviction_n and_o thereupon_o some_o pant_n and_o breathe_n after_o god_n but_o as_o yet_o nothing_o come_v to_o perfection_n i_o think_v of_o and_o find_v that_o i_o have_v cause_n to_o take_v up_o the_o complaint_n of_o hezekiah_n in_o another_o case_n it_o be_v a_o day_n of_o trouble_n and_o rebuke_v the_o child_n be_v come_v to_o the_o birth_n and_o there_o be_v no_o strength_n to_o bring_v forth_o isa_n 37._o 3._o some_o time_n after_o read_v isa_n 66._o it_o seem_v to_o i_o that_o that_o word_n v._n 9_o be_v suit_v to_o my_o case_n shall_v i_o bring_v to_o the_o birth_n and_o not_o cause_n to_o bring_v forth_o say_v the_o lord_n shall_v i_o cause_v to_o bring_v forth_o and_o shut_v the_o womb_n say_v thy_o god_n o_o my_o soul_n wait_v thou_o on_o god_n who_o will_v perfect_v his_o own_o work_n in_o thou_o he_o have_v say_v he_o will_v not_o break_v the_o bruise_a reed_n nor_o quench_v the_o smoke_a flax_n till_o he_o send_v forth_o judgement_n unto_o victory_n i_o have_v ofttimes_o see_v a_o law_n in_o my_o member_n war_a against_o the_o law_n of_o my_o mind_n and_o lead_v i_o into_o captivity_n to_o the_o law_n of_o sin_n and_o death_n so_o powerful_a and_o mighty_a have_v be_v the_o act_n of_o some_o inward_a corruption_n that_o i_o have_v not_o be_v able_a to_o overcome_v they_o but_o have_v be_v hurry_v captive_a by_o they_o hereby_o i_o come_v to_o see_v that_o truth_n the_o heart_n of_o man_n be_v desperate_o wicked_a who_o can_v know_v it_o i_o can_v fathom_v the_o depth_n of_o iniquity_n which_o be_v in_o my_o heart_n hereupon_o i_o be_o make_v to_o cry_v out_o with_o st._n paul_n o_o wretched_a man_n that_o i_o be_o who_o shall_v deliver_v i_o from_o this_o body_n of_o death_n o_o lord_n be_v not_o thou_o far_o from_o i_o but_o make_v haste_n to_o help_v i_o let_v the_o sigh_v of_o the_o prisoner_n come_v before_o thou_o proclaim_v liberty_n to_o thy_o captive_n and_o the_o open_n of_o the_o prison_n door_n to_o he_o that_o be_v bind_v with_o the_o chain_n of_o sin_n isa_n 61._o 1._o mar._n 26._o 1654._o i_o find_v that_o though_o in_o my_o judgement_n and_o profession_n i_o acknowledge_v christ_n to_o be_v my_o righteousness_n and_o peace_n yet_o upon_o examination_n i_o observe_v that_o my_o heart_n have_v do_v quite_o another_o thing_n and_o that_o secret_o i_o have_v go_v about_o to_o establish_v my_o own_o righteousness_n and_o have_v derive_v my_o comfort_n and_o peace_n from_o my_o own_o act_n for_o when_o i_o have_v be_v disquiet_v by_o the_o act_n of_o my_o sin_n that_o which_o have_v recover_v i_o to_o my_o former_a peace_n have_v not_o be_v that_o i_o can_v find_v god_n speak_v peace_n through_o the_o blood_n of_o christ_n but_o rather_o from_o the_o intermission_n of_o temptation_n and_o the_o cessation_n of_o those_o sin_n when_o i_o have_v be_v trouble_v at_o a_o evil_a frame_n of_o heart_n i_o do_v not_o find_v that_o the_o righteousness_n of_o christ_n have_v be_v my_o consolation_n but_o that_o which_o have_v relieve_v i_o as_o far_o as_o i_o can_v find_v be_v that_o afterward_o i_o find_v myself_o in_o a_o better_a temper_n have_v be_v in_o trouble_n and_o perplexity_n i_o have_v read_v the_o scripture_n go_v to_o prayer_n and_o in_o do_v these_o i_o have_v be_v relieve_v yet_o i_o do_v not_o find_v that_o at_o such_o time_n i_o have_v real_a true_a live_a communion_n with_o god_n in_o such_o duty_n or_o that_o the_o spirit_n of_o god_n do_v in_o those_o duty_n reveal_v to_o i_o my_o interest_n in_o christ_n and_o so_o quiet_a my_o conscience_n hence_o i_o come_v to_o see_v
preach_v in_o the_o afternoon_n at_o st._n andrews_n i_o have_v some_o thought_n of_o it_o and_o motion_n thereto_o some_o time_n since_o but_o now_o my_o time_n for_o chapel_n exercise_n be_v expire_v i_o take_v it_n into_o serious_a thought_n and_o have_v humble_v my_o soul_n for_o my_o sin_n and_o beg_v of_o god_n that_o he_o will_v settle_v my_o mind_n in_o this_o thing_n and_o teach_v i_o what_o be_v his_o mind_n therein_o after_o pain_n and_o search_v the_o scripture_n i_o come_v to_o this_o resolution_n i_o be_v full_o persuade_v that_o it_o be_v the_o mind_n of_o the_o lord_n that_o i_o shall_v also_o preach_v in_o the_o afternoon_n and_o that_o from_o these_o scripture_n 2_o tim._n 4._o 1._o 2._o i_o charge_v the_o before_o god_n be_v instant_a in_o season_n and_o out_o of_o season_n as_o we_o will_v answer_v it_o to_o jesus_n christ_n at_o the_o day_n of_o judgement_n we_o be_v to_o take_v all_o opportunity_n to_o preach_v his_o word_n i_o consider_v here_o be_v a_o fair_a opportunity_n put_v into_o my_o hand_n and_o therefore_o i_o be_o bind_v in_o conscience_n not_o to_o neglect_v it_o 1_o pet._n 5._o 2._o 〈◊〉_d 〈◊〉_d 〈◊〉_d 〈◊〉_d 〈◊〉_d as_o much_o as_o in_o you_o lie_v feed_v thy_o flock_n so_o calvin_n render_v the_o word_n 1_o cor._n 9_o 16._o 17._o necessity_n be_v lay_v upon_o i_o yea_o woe_n be_v unto_o i_o if_o i_o preach_v not_o the_o gospel_n though_o i_o preach_v the_o gospel_n i_o have_v nothing_o to_o glory_n of_o if_o i_o do_v this_o willing_o i_o have_v a_o reward_n eccl._n 11_o 6._o in_o the_o morning_n sow_v thy_o seed_n and_o in_o the_o evening_n withhold_v not_o thy_o hand_n for_o thou_o know_v not_o what_o shall_v prosper_v this_o or_o that_o this_o seem_v a_o clear_a resolution_n of_o the_o question_n 1_o cor._n 15._o 58._o always_o abound_v in_o the_o work_n of_o the_o lord_n gal._n 6._o 10._o as_o we_o have_v opportunity_n let_v we_o do_v good_a here_o be_v a_o fair_a opportunity_n and_o how_o it_o may_v be_v take_v from_o i_o or_o i_o from_o it_o i_o know_v not_o and_o therefore_o hold_v it_o my_o duty_n to_o lay_v hold_n on_o it_o hereupon_o i_o resolve_v to_o preach_v once_o a_o fortnight_n in_o the_o afternoon_n also_o and_o consider_v my_o weakness_n for_o such_o a_o work_n i_o be_v encourage_v from_o isa_n 41._o 10._o and_o math._n 28._o ult_n go_v teach_v and_o lo_o i_o be_o with_o you_o with_o you_o to_o help_v and_o assist_v you_o with_o you_o to_o bless_v your_o labour_n and_o make_v your_o work_n prosperous_a under_o your_o hand_n jul._n 13._o 1656._o i_o begin_v my_o afternoon_n exercise_v and_o enter_v upon_o the_o doctrine_n of_o repentance_n i_o have_v find_v god_n very_o much_o with_o i_o assisting_z and_o enlarge_n i_o and_o blessing_n my_o labour_n to_o some_o of_o my_o hearer_n i_o bless_v his_o name_n for_o put_v it_o into_o my_o heart_n nov_n 16_o i_o have_v not_o so_o much_o of_o the_o enliven_a presence_n of_o god_n in_o the_o afternoon_n as_o i_o be_v wont_a to_o have_v yet_o god_n bless_v his_o word_n one_o of_o the_o parish_n tell_v mr._n j._n he_o think_v their_o minister_n know_v their_o heart_n and_o add_v he_o be_v resolve_v to_o amend_v apr._n 21._o 1657._o i_o set_v apart_o this_o day_n to_o seek_v god_n by_o fast_v and_o prayer_n to_o show_v i_o my_o way_n and_o to_o direct_v i_o in_o a_o business_n that_o have_v be_v upon_o my_o spirit_n nigh_o half_a a_o year_n which_o be_v to_o preach_v once_o a_o fortnight_n on_o the_o week_n day_n at_o the_o church_n where_o i_o be_o place_v i_o engage_v the_o prayer_n of_o other_o also_o for_o i_o in_o this_o particular_a and_o when_o i_o go_v to_o the_o sacrament_n i_o lay_v the_o promise_n before_o god_n that_o he_o will_v guide_v i_o continual_o and_o teach_v i_o in_o the_o way_n that_o i_o shall_v choose_v as_o that_o which_o i_o desire_v might_n among_o other_o be_v seal_v up_o to_o i_o whilst_o i_o be_v thus_o deliberate_v with_o myself_o what_o to_o do_v i_o meet_v with_o this_o providence_n be_v at_o soham_n to_o preach_v the_o lecture_n there_o i_o sleep_v that_o night_n very_o disturbed_o towards_o the_o morning_n i_o think_v i_o see_v the_o lord_n jesus_n christ_n in_o his_o glory_n who_o speak_v comfortable_o to_o i_o and_o encourage_v i_o in_o my_o work_n but_o speak_v very_o sad_a word_n to_o another_o mr._n of_o art_n that_o be_v with_o i_o who_o i_o dream_v to_o be_v a_o godly_a man_n yet_o one_o who_o be_v note_v for_o his_o unwillingness_n to_o preach_v in_o town_n when_o i_o awake_v i_o consider_v with_o myself_o what_o this_o shall_v mean_v i_o consider_v it_o be_v but_o a_o dream_n and_o so_o not_o much_o to_o be_v heed_v and_o again_o i_o consider_v that_o sometime_o god_n speak_v to_o we_o in_o dream_n and_o slumber_v upon_o our_o bed_n job_n 33._o 13._o 14._o 15._o whence_o i_o gather_v it_o may_v be_v something_o of_o encouragement_n to_o i_o in_o the_o morning_n when_o i_o be_v up_o it_o fall_v out_o in_o my_o ordinary_a course_n of_o read_v the_o scripture_n to_o read_v act._n 18._o and_o when_o i_o have_v read_v ver_fw-la 9_o 10._o and_o ponder_v what_o have_v befall_v i_o in_o the_o night_n i_o can_v not_o but_o wonder_n at_o the_o providence_n of_o god_n to_o cause_v this_o scripture_n to_o fall_v in_o with_o my_o former_a dream_n which_o make_v i_o ponder_v the_o more_o upon_o it_o i_o see_v god_n do_v sometime_o speak_v to_o his_o people_n in_o a_o vision_n i_o see_v the_o same_o reason_n why_o paul_n shall_v preach_v viz._n because_o there_o be_v much_o people_n belong_v to_o the_o lord_n there_o may_v be_v forcible_a to_o prevail_v with_o i_o for_o he_o incline_v a_o great_a multitude_n of_o people_n to_o attend_v upon_o i_o when_o i_o have_v consider_v of_o it_o i_o resolve_v to_o lay_v this_o up_o in_o my_o heart_n and_o not_o to_o slight_v it_o though_o i_o can_v not_o build_v on_o it_o any_o ground_n of_o my_o undertake_n my_o work_n consult_v the_o scripture_n these_o come_v into_o my_o mind_n act._n 6._o 4._o we_o will_v give_v ourselves_o continual_o to_o prayer_n and_o to_o the_o ministry_n of_o the_o word_n where_o i_o see_v that_o such_o as_o be_v call_v of_o god_n to_o preach_v the_o word_n aught_o to_o make_v it_o their_o business_n and_o give_v up_o themselves_o to_o it_o rom._n 1._o 1._o 14._o 15._o here_o i_o see_v that_o one_o separate_v to_o the_o gospel_n of_o christ_n be_v a_o debtor_n bind_v and_o shall_v be_v ready_a as_o much_o as_o in_o he_o lie_v isa_n 40._o 9_o o_o thou_o that_o bring_v good_a tiding_n to_o zion_n get_v the_o up_o into_o the_o high_a mountain_n lift_v up_o thy_o voice_n with_o strength_n lift_v it_o up_o be_v not_o afraid_a read_v this_o scripture_n in_o my_o ordinary_a course_n i_o find_v it_o set_v home_o with_o life_n and_o power_n in_o reference_n to_o my_o present_a doubt_n get_v the_o up_o lift_v up_o thy_o voice_n it_o remove_v the_o great_a obstacle_n of_o fear_n what_o will_v man_n say_v and_o think_v of_o my_o forwardness_n be_v not_o afraid_a i_o be_v the_o more_o confirm_v by_o consider_v this_o scripture_n be_v main_o direct_v to_o such_o as_o god_n have_v send_v to_o preach_v the_o gospel_n by_o compare_v this_o scripture_n with_o isa_n 52._o 7._o and_o rom._n 10._o 15._o and_o the_o scripture_n do_v the_o more_o affect_v i_o because_o it_o be_v in_o this_o manner_n set_v home_o after_o prayer_n when_o i_o have_v be_v seek_v god_n in_o reference_n to_o this_o doubt_n act._n 18._o 5._o paul_n be_v press_v in_o spirit_n and_o testify_v hence_o i_o see_v the_o minister_n of_o god_n may_v take_v encouragement_n to_o preach_v the_o word_n from_o inward_a pressure_n of_o spirit_n have_v these_o inducement_n to_o preach_v on_o the_o week_n day_n i_o set_v apart_o as_o before_o the_o 21th_o of_o april_n to_o seek_v god_n by_o fast_v and_o prayer_n to_o direct_v i_o what_o to_o do_v have_v put_v up_o my_o request_n to_o he_o in_o the_o name_n of_o jesus_n christ_n i_o shall_v consider_v what_o motive_n i_o have_v to_o it_o and_o what_o dissuasives_n from_o it_o and_o judge_v of_o both_o according_a to_o the_o scripture_n and_o do_v therein_o as_o the_o lord_n shall_v direct_v i_o by_o his_o word_n and_o spirit_n '_o the_o argument_n move_v to_o it_o be_v these_o 1._o i_o find_v god_n much_o enlarge_n my_o meditation_n so_o as_o i_o be_o a_o long_a while_n ere_o i_o can_v dispatch_v the_o subject_a i_o enter_v upon_o whereby_o i_o foresee_v i_o shall_v go_v over_o but_o few_o head_n in_o divinity_n while_o i_o stay_v unless_o i_o preach_v often_o and_o i_o know_v not_o what_o the_o meaning_n of_o god_n
herein_o shall_v be_v that_o he_o water_v i_o so_o much_o but_o that_o i_o shall_v water_v other_o 2._o i_o have_v find_v god_n own_v i_o when_o i_o close_v with_o the_o like_a motion_n at_o other_o time_n particular_o in_o the_o afternoon_n exercise_n i_o have_v find_v god_n wonderful_o gracious_a beyond_o expression_n and_o i_o hearty_o bless_v god_n that_o put_v it_o into_o my_o heart_n to_o undertake_v that_o work_n and_o see_v when_o i_o follow_v god_n former_o he_o be_v with_o i_o why_o shall_v i_o not_o be_v obedient_a to_o his_o call_n in_o this_o also_o 3._o it_o be_v the_o work_n i_o have_v be_v set_v apart_o to_o and_o solemn_o give_v up_o myself_o to_o in_o the_o face_n of_o the_o congregation_n at_o blackfriar_n and_o therefore_o now_o there_o be_v a_o necessity_n lie_v upon_o i_o to_o preach_v the_o gospel_n yea_o a_o woe_n if_o i_o preach_v not_o 1_o cor._n 9_o 16._o 4._o god_n have_v make_v my_o service_n here_o accept_v of_o the_o saint_n and_o therefore_o it_o be_v likely_a my_o ministry_n may_v be_v more_o effectual_a it_o may_v be_v elsewhere_o my_o ministry_n may_v be_v as_o much_o despise_v as_o here_o it_o be_v embrace_v and_o therefore_o it_o be_v good_a to_o take_v the_o present_a season_n and_o to_o strike_v where_o and_o when_o the_o iron_n be_v hot_a 5._o the_o time_n be_v short_a that_o i_o have_v to_o live_v how_o soon_o god_n many_o take_v i_o hence_o i_o know_v not_o and_o there_o be_v no_o work_n in_o the_o grave_n i_o be_o command_v to_o do_v what_o my_o hand_n find_v to_o do_v with_o my_o might_n eccl._n 9_o 10._o the_o night_n come_v when_o no_o man_n can_v work_v and_o therefore_o as_o christ_n say_v joh._n 9_o 4._o i_o must_v work_v the_o work_n of_o he_o that_o send_v i_o while_o it_o be_v day_n so_o must_v i_o do_v learn_v this_o wisdom_n of_o he_o to_o do_v my_o work_n as_o fast_o as_o i_o can_v see_v i_o know_v not_o how_o short_a my_o day_n may_v be_v 6._o the_o time_n be_v evil_a and_o i_o know_v not_o how_o soon_o we_o may_v be_v cut_v short_a of_o these_o opportunity_n and_o it_o be_v a_o express_a command_n that_o we_o shall_v be_v wise_a and_o redeem_v time_n eph._n 5._o 15._o 16._o and_o god_n command_v as_o we_o have_v opportunity_n to_o do_v good_a to_o all_o gal._n 6._o 10._o preach_v of_o the_o gospel_n be_v do_v good_a and_o here_o be_v a_o opportunity_n i_o must_v not_o let_v it_o slip_v 7._o if_o i_o shall_v preach_v once_o a_o fortnight_n on_o the_o weekday_n it_o will_v but_o be_v equivalent_a to_o preach_v twice_o every_o lord_n day_n see_v now_o i_o preach_v but_o once_o every_o other_o sabbath_n which_o must_v be_v my_o work_n when_o i_o come_v into_o the_o country_n and_o yet_o my_o work_n here_o be_v far_o light_a than_o it_o will_v be_v there_o for_o here_o i_o be_o free_a from_o worldly_a care_n family_n distraction_n and_o a_o pastoral_a charge_n 8._o one_o soul_n be_v more_o worth_a than_o the_o whole_a world_n and_o the_o preach_n of_o the_o gospel_n be_v the_o power_n of_o god_n to_o salvation_n therefore_o we_o shall_v not_o think_v any_o pain_n too_o great_a to_o preach_v the_o word_n see_v we_o may_v through_o god_n be_v a_o mean_a to_o convert_v and_o save_v soul_n thereby_o 9_o christ_n charge_v peter_n as_o he_o love_v he_o to_o feed_v his_o sheep_n and_o lamb_n joh._n 21._o 15_o 16_o 17._o his_o repeat_v this_o 3_o time_n argue_v 1._o that_o he_o will_v have_v he_o very_o diligent_a in_o do_v it_o 2._o that_o he_o take_v it_o as_o a_o real_a demonstration_n of_o love_n to_o he_o to_o feed_v his_o sheep_n now_o i_o have_v wonderful_a cause_n to_o love_n christ_n and_o good_a reason_n to_o demonstrate_v it_o that_o way_n which_o he_o will_v have_v i_o 10._o if_o i_o enter_v upon_o preach_v on_o weekday_n too_o i_o see_v it_o will_v make_v for_o the_o glory_n of_o god_n joh._n 15._o 8._o god_n be_v glorify_v when_o we_o bear_v much_o fruit_n and_o for_o the_o good_a and_o edification_n of_o other_o for_o the_o body_n of_o christ_n be_v edify_v by_o the_o ministry_n of_o the_o word_n eph._n 4._o 11_o 12._o and_o why_o shall_v i_o stand_v dispute_v that_o which_o may_v make_v for_o the_o glory_n of_o god_n and_o the_o good_a of_o those_o among_o who_o i_o live_v 11._o god_n will_v have_v every_o man_n observe_v his_o proper_a gift_n and_o improve_v they_o and_o attend_v his_o proper_a work_n that_o he_o be_v call_v to_o with_o diligence_n rom._n 12._o 6_o 7_o 8_o 11._o 12._o i_o have_v naturally_n a_o slothful_a spirit_n and_o one_o good_a way_n to_o master_n it_o be_v to_o take_v up_o much_o employment_n 13._o god_n will_v have_v we_o always_o to_o abound_v in_o his_o work_n and_o be_v steadfast_a and_o he_o tell_v we_o our_o labour_n shall_v not_o be_v in_o vain_a 1_o cor._n 15._o ult_n 14._o no_o excuse_n must_v hinder_v we_o now_o from_o do_v good_a but_o what_o will_v serve_v turn_n at_o the_o day_n of_o judgement_n i_o consider_v further_o that_o the_o word_n of_o god_n be_v to_o be_v the_o rule_n by_o which_o we_o must_v walk_v psal_n 119._o 105._o that_o be_v the_o light_n of_o our_o path_n what_o the_o word_n require_v of_o we_o god_n require_v of_o we_o what_o work_v the_o word_n call_v we_o to_o that_o god_n call_v we_o to_o now_o consider_v with_o myself_o the_o aforesaid_a particular_n according_a to_o the_o word_n of_o god_n i_o gather_v it_o be_v the_o mind_n of_o god_n i_o shall_v close_v with_o this_o motion_n and_o that_o he_o call_v i_o to_o further_a work_n and_o so_o according_o i_o be_o to_o obey_v his_o voice_n now_o in_o regard_n that_o it_o be_v god_n presence_n with_o i_o his_o own_n accept_v and_o assist_v i_o that_o must_v bear_v i_o up_o against_o all_o difficulty_n that_o i_o shall_v meet_v with_o i_o consult_v further_o with_o the_o word_n to_o see_v what_o ground_n i_o have_v to_o expect_v that_o god_n will_v be_v with_o i_o in_o my_o undertake_n and_o i_o see_v great_a encouragement_n from_o these_o scripture_n mat._n 28._o 19_o 20._o go_v teach_v lo_o i_o be_o with_o you_o always_o christ_n will_v not_o withdraw_v his_o presence_n at_o any_o time_n when_o we_o go_v about_o to_o teach_v in_o obedience_n to_o his_o command_n but_o will_v be_v always_o with_o we_o 1_o chron._n 28._o 10_o 20._o compare_v whence_o i_o observe_v when_o god_n call_v a_o man_n out_o to_o any_o work_n he_o will_v have_v he_o be_v strong_a and_o do_v it_o and_o not_o to_o fear_v or_o be_v dismay_v for_o god_n will_v be_v with_o he_o and_o not_o fail_v he_o or_o forsake_v he_o till_o he_o have_v finish_v it_o josh_n 1._o 9_o have_v not_o i_o command_v thou_o the_o lord_n thy_o god_n be_v with_o thou_o whithersoever_o thou_o go_v the_o same_o presence_n and_o assistance_n may_v we_o expect_v from_o god_n when_o ever_o he_o call_v we_o out_o to_o any_o service_n which_o i_o gather_v from_o the_o apostle_n apply_v to_o all_o christian_n what_o god_n speak_v in_o particularto_fw-la josh_n heb._n 13._o 5._o isa_n 42._o 6._o i_o the_o lord_n have_v call_v thou_o i_o will_v hold_v thy_o hand_n it_o be_v speak_v to_o christ_n and_o shall_v be_v make_v good_a to_o all_o christian_n when_o call_v by_o god_n to_o any_o work_n he_o will_v uphold_v they_o in_o it_o and_o he_o who_o god_n uphold_v shall_v not_o fail_v or_o be_v discourage_v till_o his_o work_n be_v do_v v_o 1._o 4_o judg._n 6._o 12._o 14._o the_o lord_n be_v with_o thou_o thou_o mighty_a man_n go_v in_o this_o thy_o might_n thou_o shall_v save_v israel_n have_v not_o i_o send_v thou_o in_o this_o thy_o might_n i._n e._n either_o in_o the_o strength_n of_o the_o promise_n the_o lord_n be_v with_o thou_o or_o in_o the_o strength_n of_o thy_o commission_n i_o have_v send_v thou_o do_v thou_o doubt_v whether_o i_o will_v be_v with_o thou_o see_v i_o have_v send_v thou_o do_v thou_o doubt_v whether_o thou_o shall_v save_v israel_n see_v i_o have_v send_v thou_o i_o see_v hence_o the_o call_v of_o god_n to_o any_o service_n be_v a_o great_a encouragement_n to_o set_v upon_o it_o and_o to_o expect_v success_n in_o it_o '_o discouragement_n remove_v 1._o reproach_n of_o man_n what_o will_v man_n say_v or_o think_v that_o i_o be_o so_o forward_o they_o will_v impute_v it_o to_o pride_n it_o etc._n etc._n and_o say_v i_o be_o imprudent_a and_o will_v may_v be_v laugh_v and_o jeer_v at_o i_o reply_v 1_o i_o be_o not_o to_o be_v ashamed_a of_o the_o gospel_n of_o christ_n rom._n 1._o 16._o no_o not_o in_o a_o adulterous_a generation_n mar._n 8._o 38._o if_o i_o can_v suffer_v shame_n for_o christ_n how_o shall_v i_o
suffer_v great_a persecution_n 2._o god_n can_v if_o he_o will_v hide_v i_o from_o the_o strife_n of_o tongue_n yea_o he_o promise_v to_o do_v so_o for_o they_o that_o trust_v in_o he_o psal_n 31._o 19_o 20._o he_o can_v make_v a_o man_n enemy_n to_o be_v at_o peace_n with_o he_o and_o will_v if_o our_o way_n please_v he_o prov._n 16._o 7._o however_o i_o shall_v not_o be_v solicitous_a of_o man_n judgement_n in_o this_o matter_n but_o commit_v my_o way_n and_o cause_n to_o the_o lord_n and_o if_o i_o be_v reproach_v he_o will_v one_o day_n clear_v i_o ps_n 37._o 5_o 6._o 3._o if_o i_o do_v meet_v with_o shame_n and_o reproach_n for_o my_o diligence_n in_o preach_v the_o word_n it_o be_v no_o more_o than_o the_o apostle_n meet_v with_o 1_o cor._n 4._o 9_o 10_o 13._o yea_o ay_o christ_n suffer_v great_a contradiction_n in_o his_o preach_v they_o say_v he_o be_v mad_a and_o have_v a_o devil_n and_o i_o be_o bid_v to_o remember_v it_o as_o that_o which_o will_v keep_v i_o from_o faint_a heb._n 12._o 3._o 4._o if_o i_o serve_v christ_n the_o lord_n will_v honour_v i_o and_o that_o be_v infinite_o above_o the_o honour_n of_o the_o world_n joh._n 12._o 26._o i_o shall_v desire_v therefore_o to_o seek_v the_o praise_n that_o be_v of_o god_n and_o no_o matter_n what_o man_n say_v 5._o it_o will_v be_v my_o happiness_n if_o i_o be_v reproach_v for_o christ_n sake_n 1_o pet._n 4._o 14._o and_o i_o shall_v be_v so_o far_o from_o be_v trouble_v discourage_v and_o deject_v at_o it_o that_o i_o shall_v rejoice_v exceed_o that_o god_n count_v i_o worthy_a to_o partake_v of_o the_o suffering_n of_o christ_n v_o 13._o 6._o the_o thought_n of_o that_o glory_n that_o shall_v be_v reveal_v hereafter_o 1_o pet._n 5._o 4._o shall_v cause_v i_o to_o despise_v the_o shame_n which_o i_o meet_v with_o here_o in_o the_o service_n of_o god_n heb._n 12._o 2._o 2_o d._n discouragement_n it_o may_v be_v the_o people_n will_v slight_v the_o word_n i_o shall_v have_v but_o few_o hearer_n the_o word_n grow_v common_a will_v be_v nauseated_a etc._n etc._n reply_v 1_o the_o heart_n of_o all_o man_n be_v in_o god_n hand_n if_o he_o touch_v their_o heart_n they_o shall_v come_v 1_o sam._n 10._o 26._o i_o will_v leave_v that_o to_o the_o lord_n whether_o he_o will_v incline_v many_o or_o but_o few_o to_o attend_v upon_o his_o word_n 2._o the_o angel_n those_o glorious_a creature_n do_v not_o disdain_v to_o preach_v christ_n to_o a_o few_o poor_a shepherd_n and_o therefore_o i_o shall_v not_o think_v much_o to_o preach_v christ_n though_o to_o never_o such_o a_o thin_a congregation_n jesus_n christ_n himself_o preach_v the_o gospel_n to_o one_o hearer_n only_o and_o that_o a_o poor_a sinful_a woman_n of_o samaria_n joh._n 4._o 3._o god_n presence_n be_v not_o tie_v to_o a_o multitude_n if_o but_o two_o or_o three_o be_v gather_v together_o in_o his_o name_n he_o be_v in_o the_o midst_n of_o they_o and_o if_o god_n will_v bless_v his_o word_n for_o the_o conversion_n of_o but_o one_o soul_n it_o be_v worth_a all_o our_o labour_n and_o pain_n mark_n 8._o 37._o jam._n 5._o 19_o 20._o 4._o i_o shall_v desire_v to_o do_v my_o work_n to_o god_n and_o not_o to_o man_n because_o god_n command_v i_o though_o man_n may_v slight_v my_o pain_n and_o do_v not_o gather_v together_o to_o hear_v the_o word_n yet_o my_o work_n be_v before_o the_o lord_n and_o my_o reward_n with_o he_o and_o i_o shall_v be_v glorious_a in_o his_o eye_n however_o i_o appear_v before_o man_n isa_n 49._o 5._o however_o man_n reckon_v of_o my_o labour_n though_o the_o more_o i_o love_v they_o and_o labour_v for_o they_o the_o less_o i_o belove_v yet_o this_o shall_v not_o be_v any_o hindrance_n to_o i_o in_o the_o work_n of_o god_n but_o i_o shall_v glad_o spend_v myself_o and_o be_v spend_v therein_o 2_o cor._n 12._o 13._o have_v consult_v god_n and_o see_v such_o good_a ground_n for_o my_o undertake_n i_o set_v up_o a_o lecture_n once_o a_o fortnight_n on_o thursday_n in_o the_o afternoon_n at_o three_o of_o the_o clock_n i_o begin_v it_o on_o the_o first_o thursday_n in_o june_n 1657._o with_o such_o mature_a deliberation_n such_o a_o resolve_a conscience_n such_o a_o willing_a mind_n such_o a_o zealous_a spirit_n such_o a_o laborious_a head_n and_o hand_n do_v this_o worthy_a servant_n of_o god_n apply_v himself_o to_o the_o great_a work_n wherein_o he_o be_v engage_v thus_o do_v he_o fortify_v his_o heart_n with_o strong_a argument_n against_o all_o temptation_n to_o sloth_n and_o negligence_n thus_o search_v he_o the_o scripture_n that_o he_o may_v full_o know_v his_o lord_n will_n thus_o yield_v he_o obedience_n to_o the_o command_n and_o act_v faith_n in_o the_o promise_n of_o god_n in_o this_o his_o might_n he_o go_v forth_o in_o the_o name_n of_o the_o lord_n to_o the_o work_n of_o the_o lord_n and_o the_o pleasure_n of_o the_o lord_n do_v prosper_v in_o his_o hand_n though_o his_o constant_a weekly_a work_n at_o st._n andrews_n church_n be_v enough_o to_o exercise_v more_o than_o ordinary_a strength_n both_o of_o mind_n and_o body_n yet_o he_o have_v many_o other_o occasion_n of_o service_n which_o he_o attend_v not_o only_o in_o the_o college_n as_o his_o place_n require_v especial_o as_o a_o tutor_n which_o relation_n and_o trust_n he_o diligent_o and_o faithful_o discharge_v towards_o his_o pupil_n both_o as_o to_o learning_n and_o religion_n but_o in_o the_o town_n as_o preach_v frequent_o funeral_n sermon_n and_o trinity_n lecture_n and_o in_o the_o country_n also_o at_o several_a lecture_n both_o in_o cambridgeshire_n and_o huntingdonshire_n for_o his_o ability_n and_o willingness_n be_v so_o well_o know_v as_o encourage_v many_o invitation_n to_o be_v make_v to_o he_o from_o abroad_o all_o which_o he_o perform_v not_o after_o a_o extemporary_a rate_n as_o the_o manner_n of_o some_o be_v hasty_o to_o utter_v quicquid_fw-la in_o buccam_fw-la venerit_fw-la but_o as_o a_o workman_n that_o need_v not_o to_o be_v ashamed_a on_o which_o account_n the_o ear_n of_o so_o many_o hang_v upon_o he_o and_o he_o never_o want_v a_o full_a auditory_a as_o well_o of_o scholar_n as_o town-people_n his_o sermon_n be_v well_o study_v and_o digest_v his_o matter_n substantial_a and_o spiritual_a his_o argument_n strong_a and_o convince_a his_o utterance_n full_a clear_a deliberate_a and_o grave_n his_o word_n apt_a and_o natural_a to_o express_v the_o conception_n of_o his_o mind_n he_o neither_o affect_v a_o strain_n of_o word_n which_o man_n wisdom_n teach_v nor_o allow_v himself_o a_o liberty_n of_o word_n which_o man_n indiscretion_n pour_v out_o but_o his_o phrase_n be_v such_o as_o speak_v he_o to_o have_v a_o holy_a reverence_n for_o the_o plainness_n and_o simplicity_n of_o the_o gospel_n of_o christ_n a_o due_a care_n that_o he_o expose_v not_o the_o ministry_n of_o the_o word_n to_o contempt_n a_o religious_a fear_n of_o that_o god_n in_o who_o name_n he_o speak_v and_o a_o serious_a regard_n to_o the_o concernment_n of_o the_o soul_n of_o man_n and_o in_o all_o his_o application_n to_o god_n by_o prayer_n both_o in_o public_a and_o private_a his_o behaviour_n word_n and_o manner_n of_o utterance_n be_v such_o as_o speak_v his_o solemn_a and_o affect_v apprehension_n of_o the_o majesty_n and_o holiness_n of_o god_n who_o he_o worship_v so_o as_o consider_v his_o year_n the_o multiplicity_n of_o his_o ministerial_a work_n his_o manner_n of_o perform_v it_o and_o the_o holiness_n of_o his_o life_n wherewith_o he_o do_v adorn_v and_o commend_v it_o it_o may_v be_v true_o say_v of_o he_o that_o however_o he_o be_v excel_v by_o other_o in_o other_o respect_n yet_o in_o this_o he_o be_v nulli_fw-la secundus_fw-la if_o not_o a_o none_o such_o in_o the_o university_n in_o his_o day_n but_o cambridge_n be_v not_o a_o place_n for_o long_a continuance_n the_o university_n be_v the_o church_n nursery_n from_o whence_o god_n be_v wont_a to_o remove_v and_o transplant_v his_o tree_n of_o righteousness_n when_o once_o grow_v up_o to_o the_o stature_n of_o fruit-bearing_a that_o the_o various_a congregation_n of_o his_o people_n may_v eat_v of_o the_o fruit_n thereof_o and_o live_v god_n have_v here_o train_v up_o his_o servant_n to_o his_o hand_n instruct_v he_o with_o excellent_a gift_n and_o abundant_a grace_n call_v he_o solemn_o to_o the_o office_n of_o the_o ministry_n prove_v he_o a_o able_a and_o successful_a instrument_n before_o many_o witness_n and_o enlarge_v his_o heart_n not_o only_o to_o a_o willingness_n but_o zeal_n to_o discharge_v his_o office_n with_o all_o his_o might_n quick_o show_v he_o the_o place_n where_o with_o this_o resolve_a industry_n and_o integrity_n he_o shall_v improve_v his_o talent_n scarce_o two_o month_n be_v
expire_v after_o he_o have_v begin_v his_o weekday_n lecture_n when_o the_o mayor_n and_o one_o of_o the_o alderman_n of_o colchester_n in_o essex_n whither_o his_o fame_n reach_v apply_v themselves_o to_o he_o at_o cambridge_n desire_v he_o to_o accept_v their_o lecturer_n place_v then_o void_a with_o which_o motion_n he_o so_o far_o only_o then_o comply_v as_o to_o promise_v to_o come_v over_o to_o they_o and_o preach_v a_o sermon_n or_o two_o among_o they_o which_o he_o perform_v about_o three_o week_n after_o after_o his_o preach_v the_o house_n of_o alderman_n and_o common_a council_n meet_v and_o unanimous_o agree_v to_o choose_v he_o to_o be_v their_o town-lecturer_n to_o preach_v on_o lord_n day_n afternoon_n and_o on_o the_o wednesday_n every_o week_n which_o choice_n have_v also_o the_o general_a suffrage_n of_o the_o sober_a and_o godly_a people_n in_o town_n and_o country_n thereabouts_o which_o be_v signify_v to_o he_o by_o some_o of_o the_o alderman_n and_o common_a council_n after_o six_o week_n deliberation_n for_o so_o long_a time_n he_o design_v to_o give_v his_o answer_n seek_v god_n for_o direction_n as_o his_o constant_a manner_n be_v have_v no_o objection_n before_o he_o as_o to_o conscience_n in_o the_o case_n nor_o any_o obligation_n to_o stay_v at_o cambridge_n save_v only_o the_o people_n desire_n which_o he_o answer_v from_o luke_n 4._o 42._o 43._o and_o act._n 18._o 20._o and_o consider_v the_o joint_a unanimous_a agreement_n of_o person_n different_a in_o judgement_n for_o it_o be_v a_o divide_a place_n in_o call_v he_o he_o consent_v to_o their_o choice_n and_o undertake_v that_o charge_n as_o he_o have_v experience_v god_n own_v and_o seal_v of_o his_o ministry_n in_o his_o first_o catechistical_a exercise_n in_o the_o college_n and_o his_o first_o sermon_n after_o his_o ordination_n with_o much_o happy_a success_n also_o in_o cambridge_n so_o here_o he_o have_v the_o same_o encouragement_n god_n make_v his_o first_o sermon_n effectual_a upon_o the_o heart_n of_o a_o dutchman_n and_o his_o second_o or_o three_o upon_o another_o person_n note_v for_o a_o sinner_n who_o come_v out_o of_o novelty_n to_o hear_v he_o concern_v who_o he_o may_v say_v as_o st._n paul_n 1_o thess_n 1._o 9_o they_o show_v of_o we_o what_o manner_n of_o enter_v we_o have_v to_o you_o but_o it_o fare_v with_o he_o here_o at_o colchester_n as_o it_o do_v at_o cambridge_n he_o think_v he_o do_v not_o work_n enough_o and_o therefore_o ask_v leave_v and_o free_o offer_v himself_o to_o preach_v also_o on_o the_o lord_n day_n morning_n at_o st._n james_n church_n not_o desire_v any_o outward_a reward_n for_o it_o which_o be_v grant_v and_o accept_v he_o be_v to_o this_o place_n a_o very_a great_a blessing_n not_o only_o as_o to_o their_o spiritual_a but_o temporal_a concern_v also_o it_o be_v observe_v that_o during_o his_o abode_n and_o the_o liberty_n of_o his_o ministry_n there_o the_o town_n prosper_v and_o exceed_o flourish_v in_o trade_n for_o even_o the_o good_a thing_n of_o this_o life_n do_v the_o gospel_n carry_v with_o it_o here_o he_o labour_v in_o the_o word_n and_o doctrine_n till_o by_o the_o act_n of_o uniformity_n he_o be_v with_o the_o rest_n of_o his_o brethren_n debar_v from_o the_o public_a exercise_n of_o his_o ministry_n yet_o not_o think_v himself_o bind_v to_o be_v his_o own_o executioner_n and_o there_o be_v mutual_a obligation_n by_o contract_n between_o the_o town_n and_o he_o that_o the_o one_o shall_v not_o eject_v nor_o the_o other_o desert_n without_o so_o long_a warning_n he_o do_v after_o the_o fatal_a bartholomew_n continue_v his_o public_a preach_v some_o time_n till_o have_v occasion_n to_o take_v a_o journey_n into_o cambridgeshire_n in_o his_o absence_n another_o be_v put_v into_o his_o place_n by_o the_o b._n of_o l._n from_o thenceforth_o with_o st._n paul_n act._n 28._o 30_o 31._o he_o dwell_v three_o whole_a year_n in_o his_o own_o hire_a house_n and_o receive_v all_o that_o come_v in_o unto_o he_o preach_v the_o kingdom_n of_o god_n with_o all_o confidence_n till_o god_n send_v the_o rage_a pestilence_n into_o the_o town_n an._n 1665._o at_o which_o providence_n he_o be_v great_o affect_v and_o while_o he_o see_v many_o and_o even_o the_o shepherd_n of_o the_o flock_n hasten_v their_o flight_n from_o the_o pestilence_n that_o walk_v in_o darkness_n and_o the_o destruction_n that_o waste_v at_o noon_n day_n and_o other_o smite_v with_o the_o arrow_n of_o the_o almighty_a daily_o pass_v into_o eternity_n such_o compassion_n he_o have_v for_o perish_a soul_n and_o such_o zealous_a desire_n of_o their_o salvation_n and_o such_o hope_n that_o the_o word_n may_v be_v more_o effectual_a in_o that_o day_n of_o god_n sore_a judgement_n that_o he_o send_v to_o the_o magistrate_n and_o free_o offer_v if_o they_o will_v indulge_v he_o the_o liberty_n of_o a_o public_a church_n to_o stay_v and_o preach_v to_o that_o poor_a distress_a people_n till_o either_o god_n shall_v take_v he_o away_o by_o death_n or_o cause_v the_o pestilence_n to_o cease_v which_o be_v deny_v he_o he_o entertain_v thought_n of_o remove_v out_o of_o town_n and_o have_v seek_v of_o god_n a_o right_a way_n for_o himself_o his_o little_a one_o and_o his_o substance_n he_o receive_v satisfaction_n concern_v the_o lawfulness_n of_o remove_v in_o time_n of_o pestilence_n from_o isa_n 26._o 20._o hide_v thyself_o for_o a_o little_a moment_n until_o the_o indignation_n be_v over_o past_a and_o encouragement_n to_o hope_v that_o the_o presence_n of_o god_n shall_v go_v with_o he_o from_o gen._n 28._o 15._o i_o be_o with_o thou_o and_o will_v keep_v thou_o in_o all_o place_n whither_o thou_o go_v &c._n &c._n add_v thereto_o gal._n 3._o 7_o 9_o where_o he_o observe_v that_o all_o believer_n have_v right_a to_o the_o promise_v make_v to_o abraham_n isaac_n and_o jacob._n according_o aug._n 25._o 1665._o he_o remove_v his_o family_n to_o chattishamâ—n_n â—n_z suffolk_n about_o 12_o mile_n distant_a from_o colcheâ—â—er_n be_v now_o come_v to_o a_o place_n where_o he_o be_v a_o perfect_a stranger_n have_v no_o acquaintance_n with_o the_o neighbourhood_n and_o consider_v the_o evil_a and_o danger_n of_o the_o time_n he_o have_v many_o doubt_n and_o fear_n within_o himself_o concern_v the_o comfort_n of_o his_o abide_n there_o but_o quick_o receive_v satisfaction_n from_o the_o holy_a scripture_n his_o dailydelight_n and_o counsellor_n which_o he_o thus_o record_v aug._n 27._o be_v the_o first_o sabbath_n after_o i_o come_v to_o chattisham_n in_o the_o morning_n as_o i_o be_v read_v in_o my_o private_a devotion_n ezek._n 37._o which_o be_v the_o chapter_n that_o fall_v out_o in_o course_n in_o my_o private_a read_n i_o be_v much_o affect_v with_o some_o passage_n in_o the_o begin_n of_o the_o chapter_n from_o whence_o i_o observe_v for_o my_o instruction_n 1._o not_o to_o question_v my_o call_n to_o chattisham_n though_o it_o shall_v be_v a_o dry_a place_n where_o i_o shall_v want_v that_o communion_n of_o the_o saint_n which_o i_o have_v at_o colchester_n and_o my_o wont_a opportunity_n of_o do_v and_o receive_v good_n ezekiel_n a_o prophet_n of_o the_o lord_n fit_v by_o his_o gift_n and_o call_v to_o do_v god_n service_n when_o he_o be_v carry_v into_o a_o valley_n where_o there_o be_v no_o live_a creature_n to_o converse_v withal_o but_o dead_a man_n bone_n yet_o he_o be_v carry_v thither_o by_o the_o hand_n and_o spirit_n of_o the_o lord_n ver_fw-la 1._o 2._o god_n may_v have_v special_a service_n for_o we_o to_o do_v in_o those_o place_n be_v we_o judge_v according_o to_o sense_n think_v there_o can_v be_v no_o opportunity_n of_o â—ervice_n at_o all_o who_o will_v have_v think_v there_o have_v be_v any_o work_n for_o ezekiel_n as_o a_o prophet_n among_o dead_a man_n bone_n yet_o even_o there_o he_o have_v prophesy_v work_n and_o compose_v that_o prophecy_n which_o raise_v up_o the_o die_a faith_n and_o hope_v of_o the_o whole_a house_n of_o israel_n 3._o when_o god_n command_v we_o to_o prophesy_v or_o to_o preach_v his_o word_n the_o great_a improbability_n of_o success_n imaginable_a shall_v not_o discourage_v we_o from_o our_o work_n though_o we_o shall_v think_v there_o be_v no_o more_o hope_n of_o do_v good_a to_o they_o to_o who_o we_o preach_v than_o there_o be_v by_o speak_v to_o the_o wind_n or_o preach_v to_o dead_a man_n bone_n yet_o we_o shall_v go_v on_o with_o our_o work_n ezekiel_n at_o god_n command_n prophecy_n to_o dry_a and_o dead_a bone_n concern_v which_o when_o he_o be_v ask_v whether_o they_o can_v live_v he_o reply_v that_o he_o can_v not_o tell_v god_n only_o know_v v_o 3_o and_o they_o have_v the_o spirit_n of_o life_n breathe_v into_o they_o he_o propehsy_v to_o the_o wind_n and_o that_o obey_v v_o 9_o 10._o this_o scripture_n
be_v so_o suit_v to_o some_o reason_n and_o doubt_n that_o i_o have_v upon_o my_o mind_n and_o come_v so_o seasonable_o at_o my_o first_o fix_v at_o chattisham_n i_o be_v much_o affect_v with_o it_o and_o look_v upon_o it_o as_o a_o token_n for_o good_a that_o i_o shall_v have_v god_n presence_n with_o i_o and_o the_o teach_n of_o his_o spirit_n at_o chattisham_n as_o i_o have_v have_v they_o at_o colchester_n the_o encouragement_n which_o he_o thus_o take_v be_v not_o vain_a and_o empty_a god_n remember_v his_o word_n unto_o his_o servant_n wherein_o he_o have_v cause_v he_o to_o hope_v for_o he_o not_o only_o incline_v the_o heart_n of_o the_o people_n among_o who_o he_o live_v though_o stranger_n to_o he_o to_o pay_v he_o that_o respect_n and_o honour_n which_o be_v due_a to_o he_o and_o indulge_v he_o the_o liberty_n of_o private_a preach_v as_o he_o have_v before_o enjoy_v but_o moreover_o open_v to_o he_o in_o this_o place_n a_o door_n for_o the_o frequent_a public_a exercise_n of_o his_o ministry_n which_o be_v shut_v against_o he_o at_o colchester_n the_o minister_n of_o the_o parish_n have_v another_o cure_n by_o reason_n whereof_o he_o can_v attend_v this_o at_o chattisham_n but_o once_o a_o fortnight_n do_v in_o his_o absence_n not_o only_o willing_o but_o thankful_o indulge_v to_o mr._n stockton_n the_o liberty_n of_o his_o pulpit_n and_o have_v a_o very_a small_a maintenance_n and_o some_o burden_n lie_v heavy_a upon_o he_o which_o after_o a_o few_o year_n make_v his_o residence_n there_o very_o uneasy_a to_o he_o he_o desert_v his_o charge_n and_o leave_v this_o flock_n to_o shift_v for_o themselves_o whereupon_o at_o the_o request_n of_o the_o people_n mr._n stockton_n frequent_o supply_v that_o vacancy_n and_o his_o zeal_n provoke_v and_o encourage_v other_o also_o both_o minister_n and_o people_n for_o other_o neighbour_a parish_n be_v destitute_a of_o minister_n for_o want_v of_o maintenance_n call_v in_o the_o help_n of_o nonconformist_n who_o in_o these_o place_n so_o much_o below_o envye_a have_v enjoy_v the_o liberty_n of_o their_o public_a preach_v for_o the_o most_o part_n to_o this_o day_n so_o as_o not_o only_o the_o parish_n where_o he_o live_v but_o the_o neighbour_a vllage_n have_v abundant_a cause_n to_o bless_v god_n for_o send_v to_o they_o so_o happy_a a_o instrument_n so_o willing_a and_o zealous_a so_o able_a and_o industrious_a to_o serve_v their_o soul_n in_o the_o gospel_n of_o christ_n when_o it_o please_v his_o majesty_n to_o set_v forth_o his_o most_o gracious_a declaration_n for_o indulgence_n he_o be_v choose_v both_o by_o a_o congregation_n in_o ipswhich_n and_o another_o in_o colchester_n to_o preach_v to_o they_o and_o both_o be_v very_o desirous_a of_o he_o he_o comply_v with_o their_o desire_n as_o far_o as_o he_o can_v and_o undertake_v half_o the_o service_n of_o either_o and_o so_o with_o other_o divide_v his_o labour_n between_o they_o during_o his_o life_n to_o their_o great_a satisfaction_n and_o edification_n his_o labour_n be_v abundant_a his_o ministry_n be_v his_o whole_a business_n beside_o his_o lord_n day_n service_n wherein_o he_o not_o only_o preach_v twice_o but_o oft_o expound_v the_o scripture_n and_o catechise_v the_o young_a sort_n and_o many_o time_n discourse_v particular_a christian_n that_o apply_v themselves_o to_o he_o for_o counsel_n and_o instruction_n about_o their_o spiritual_a case_n he_o moreover_o preach_v a_o lecture_n at_o ipswich_n on_o the_o weekday_n once_o a_o fortnight_n and_o scarce_o a_o week_n pass_v but_o he_o preach_v at_o some_o other_o lecture_n or_o funeral_n beside_o keep_v of_o private_a fast_n which_o he_o frequent_o practise_v both_o at_o home_n and_o abroad_o the_o providence_n of_o god_n over_o he_o while_o he_o be_v thus_o zealous_o and_o constant_o employ_v in_o his_o work_n in_o so_o many_o place_n be_v so_o remarkable_a that_o it_o must_v not_o be_v pass_v over_o without_o special_a observation_n notwithstanding_o the_o severity_n of_o the_o law_n the_o malice_n watchfulness_n and_o endeavour_n of_o adversary_n yet_o god_n suffer_v not_o a_o hair_n to_o fall_v from_o his_o head_n though_o complaint_n information_n indictment_n conviction_n warrant_v presentment_n excommunication_n be_v make_v against_o he_o yet_o be_v he_o never_o imprison_v apprehend_v distrain_v or_o bring_v before_o any_o court_n or_o magistrate_n he_o be_v much_o affect_v with_o this_o care_n of_o god_n over_o he_o and_o thankful_o accept_v and_o record_v it_o as_o the_o instance_n of_o god_n faithfulness_n and_o performance_n of_o his_o promise_n as_o the_o answer_n of_o his_o own_o faith_n and_o prayer_n and_o as_o the_o reward_n of_o his_o love_n and_o zeal_n and_o courage_n for_o god_n and_o his_o church_n by_o the_o power_n whereof_o he_o live_v above_o fear_n and_o danger_n for_o thus_o he_o write_v apr._n 16._o 1655._o be_v lord_n day_n in_o the_o morning_n i_o awake_v with_o that_o scripture_n in_o my_o thought_n 1_o tim._n 1._o 15._o i_o dwell_v a_o while_n upon_o it_o and_o draw_v comfort_n and_o relief_n for_o my_o faith_n by_o the_o help_n of_o god_n i_o have_v be_v before_o under_o a_o great_a sense_n of_o the_o sinfulness_n of_o my_o heart_n the_o comfort_n i_o have_v be_v that_o christ_n come_v to_o save_v the_o chief_a of_o sinner_n that_o this_o be_v a_o faithful_a say_n that_o it_o be_v worthy_a all_o acceptation_n or_o to_o be_v embrace_v by_o every_o one_o and_o that_o this_o salvation_n be_v from_o sin_n as_o well_o as_o from_o hell_n math._n 1._o 21._o consider_v whether_o he_o will_v save_v i_o as_o i_o be_v go_v to_o wash_v in_o the_o morning_n i_o be_v satisfy_v from_o joh._n 6._o 37._o he_o that_o come_v to_o i_o i_o will_v in_o no_o wise_a cast_v out_o it_o be_v then_o a_o time_n of_o danger_n as_o to_o the_o keep_n of_o my_o meeting_n because_o many_o soldier_n be_v in_o town_n i_o be_v dubious_a whether_o i_o shall_v admit_v the_o people_n to_o come_v to_o my_o house_n when_o i_o consider_v that_o christ_n take_v it_o as_o a_o act_n of_o love_n to_o feed_v his_o sheep_n joh._n 21._o 15._o and_o that_o he_o expose_v himself_o to_o death_n to_o save_v i_o and_o bring_v under_o a_o sense_n of_o the_o comfort_n that_o the_o lord_n have_v give_v i_o in_o the_o morning_n in_o my_o meditation_n on_o the_o 1_o tim._n 1._o 15._o i_o be_v willing_a to_o adventure_v myself_o on_o the_o providence_n of_o god_n sept._n 19_o as_o i_o be_v expound_v in_o my_o family_n the_o 91_o psalm_n on_o a_o day_n of_o humiliation_n i_o be_v much_o encourage_v to_o go_v on_o in_o my_o call_v notwithstanding_o the_o difficulty_n that_o attend_v the_o same_o by_o reason_n of_o many_o adversary_n from_o v_o 11_o 12_o 13._o though_o the_o adversary_n to_o private_a meeting_n and_o the_o preach_a of_o nonconformist_n be_v of_o several_a sort_n as_o strong_a as_o lion_n as_o full_a of_o venom_n as_o the_o dragon_n such_o as_o be_v greedy_a of_o and_o roar_v after_o the_o prey_n like_o the_o young_a lion_n as_o subtle_a and_o pertinacious_a and_o obstinate_a in_o their_o way_n as_o the_o adder_n of_o which_o see_v ps_n 58._o 4_o 5._o yet_o the_o angel_n have_v a_o charge_n to_o keep_v we_o in_o all_o our_o way_n and_o the_o promise_n be_v that_o we_o shall_v trample_v these_o under_o our_o foot_n this_o promise_n give_v i_o courage_n whilst_o at_o colchester_n and_o i_o see_v it_o make_v good_a for_o i_o go_v on_o in_o my_o call_v and_o have_v no_o harm_n from_o they_o i_o observe_v also_o in_o read_v dan._n 6._o 23._o the_o power_n of_o faith_n to_o deliver_v out_o of_o great_a and_o imminent_a danger_n daniel_n be_v cast_v into_o a_o den_n of_o hungry_a lion_n yet_o no_o manner_n of_o hurt_n be_v find_v upon_o he_o because_o he_o believe_v in_o his_o god_n sept._n 22._o in_o my_o family_n exercise_v as_o i_o be_v read_v ps_n 146._o 9_o the_o lord_n preserve_v the_o stranger_n my_o faith_n receive_v strength_n i_o enjoy_v much_o peace_n and_o security_n in_o colchester_n i_o have_v meet_v with_o no_o molestation_n either_o from_o the_o town_n or_o county_n but_o be_v come_v into_o a_o strange_a place_n where_o i_o be_v not_o know_v and_o have_v no_o friend_n to_o shelter_v or_o speak_v for_o i_o i_o apprehend_v myself_o to_o walk_v in_o more_o danger_n than_o before_o this_o word_n the_o lord_n preserve_v the_o stranger_n do_v help_v my_o dependence_n upon_o god_n oct._n 28_o 1666._o be_v sabbath_n day_n i_o go_v forth_o to_o preach_v at_o manitree_n in_o the_o morning_n before_o i_o go_v the_o lord_n give_v in_o that_o promise_n isa_n 55._o 12._o you_o shall_v be_v lead_v forth_o with_o peace_n it_o be_v a_o time_n of_o trouble_n and_o danger_n for_o nonconformist_n to_o preach_v public_o the_o promise_n be_v the_o
what_o great_a need_n i_o have_v and_o that_o it_o be_v of_o singular_a use_n to_o watch_v over_o my_o soul_n in_o all_o its_o way_n both_o in_o reference_n to_o sin_n that_o i_o fall_v not_o into_o it_o and_o when_o fall_v what_o the_o carriage_n and_o act_n of_o my_o soul_n be_v at_o such_o a_o time_n whether_o i_o flee_v for_o relief_n to_o god_n in_o christ_n or_o to_o my_o own_o work_n and_o in_o reference_n to_o my_o duty_n to_o take_v heed_n lest_o those_o mean_n which_o god_n have_v appoint_v to_o be_v the_o conveyance_n of_o himself_o his_o son_n and_o spirit_n and_o all_o spiritual_a blessing_n shall_v prove_v to_o i_o a_o mean_a of_o death_n and_o separation_n from_o god_n by_o my_o formal_a use_n of_o they_o and_o rest_v in_o they_o for_o as_o satan_n keep_v some_o alienate_v from_o god_n by_o the_o gross_a pollution_n of_o the_o world_n so_o other_o from_o christ_n by_o their_o establish_v a_o righteousness_n of_o their_o own_o o_o lord_n break_v thou_o this_o snare_n for_o i_o and_o let_v my_o soul_n escape_v as_o a_o bird_n from_o the_o net_n that_o i_o may_v flee_v to_o thou_o and_o be_v at_o rest_n i_o have_v observe_v in_o myself_o that_o when_o god_n at_o any_o time_n be_v please_v to_o work_v any_o thing_n in_o my_o soul_n i_o soon_o lose_v it_o if_o he_o quicken_v i_o i_o soon_o grow_v dead_a heart_a again_o if_o he_o enliven_v my_o affection_n they_o soon_o grow_v cold_a and_o flat_a and_o my_o old_a hardness_n return_v upon_o i_o hence_o i_o come_v to_o see_v that_o it_o be_v infinite_a wisdom_n and_o goodness_n in_o god_n that_o he_o have_v not_o put_v the_o stock_n of_o grace_n into_o our_o own_o hand_n but_o have_v treasure_v it_o up_o in_o christ_n that_o our_o life_n be_v now_o hide_v with_o christ_n in_o god_n for_o so_o it_o become_v sure_a rom._n 4._o 16._o hereby_o also_o i_o come_v to_o see_v that_o i_o have_v need_n of_o continual_a recourse_n to_o jesus_n christ_n for_o new_a supply_n of_o grace_n and_o strength_n the_o lord_n god_n in_o his_o wisdom_n be_v please_v when_o he_o deliver_v his_o people_n out_o of_o egypt_n before_o he_o bring_v they_o to_o canaan_n to_o lead_v they_o 40_o year_n in_o the_o wilderness_n when_o as_o he_o can_v have_v lead_v they_o a_o near_a way_n to_o canaan_n exod._n 13._o 17._o he_o choose_v rather_o to_o lead_v they_o through_o the_o great_a and_o terrible_a wilderness_n jer._n 2._o 6._o where_o be_v fiery_a serpent_n and_o scorpion_n and_o drought_n where_o there_o be_v no_o water_n where_o he_o bring_v they_o forth_o water_v out_o of_o the_o rock_n of_o flint_n and_o feed_v they_o with_o manna_n for_o this_o end_n that_o he_o may_v humble_v they_o prove_v they_o and_o do_v they_o good_a in_o the_o latter_a end_n deut._n 8._o 15_o 16._o do_v thou_o find_v it_o so_o o_o my_o soul_n in_o thy_o travail_n towards_o the_o heavenly_a canaan_n do_v thou_o walk_v through_o much_o spiritual_a drought_n a_o land_n of_o desert_n and_o of_o the_o shadow_n of_o death_n do_v meet_v with_o a_o flinty_a heart_n and_o fiery_a temptation_n know_v that_o the_o lord_n do_v this_o to_o humble_v thou_o which_o through_o his_o grace_n thou_o have_v sometime_o find_v and_o to_o prove_v thou_o i._n e_o to_o discover_v thou_o to_o thyself_o for_o he_o himself_o know_v thy_o thought_n afar_o off_o and_o this_o way_n of_o god_n through_o grace_n have_v be_v a_o mean_n of_o discover_v much_o of_o thy_o corrupt_a heart_n to_o thou_o and_o that_o he_o may_v do_v thou_o good_a in_o the_o latter_a end_n therefore_o take_v heed_n o_o my_o soul_n of_o israel_n sin_n of_o murmur_v against_o god_n under_o thy_o want_n of_o unbeleif_n and_o tempt_a god_n etc._n etc._n read_v oft_o and_o weight_n well_o the_o 78th_o psalm_n may_v 6._o be_v sabbath_n day_n the_o lord_n be_v please_v in_o the_o hear_n of_o his_o word_n to_o convince_v i_o of_o my_o sin_n and_o lose_v condition_n but_o lord_n how_o unfaithful_a be_v i_o then_o and_o have_v i_o be_v since_o to_o the_o conviction_n of_o thy_o spirit_n how_o soon_o have_v i_o heal_v up_o the_o wound_n that_o be_v give_v by_o the_o word_n how_o soon_o have_v a_o hard_a heart_n a_o secure_a careless_a spirit_n take_v possession_n of_o i_o lord_n if_o ever_o thy_o word_n be_v effectual_a in_o i_o thou_o must_v not_o only_o speak_v it_o to_o my_o heart_n but_o write_v and_o engraff_n it_o there_o also_o henceforth_o i_o desire_v to_o wait_v on_o thou_o as_o for_o the_o teach_n of_o thy_o spirit_n so_o for_o the_o write_n of_o thy_o law_n in_o my_o heart_n by_o thy_o spirit_n i_o find_v a_o lothness_n in_o my_o spirit_n to_o go_v to_o here_o this_o sermon_n whereby_o i_o perceive_v satan_n will_v have_v hinder_v i_o be_v encourage_v hence_o o_o my_o soul_n to_o break_v through_o all_o difficulty_n thou_o meet_v with_o in_o do_v thy_o duty_n when_o thou_o find_v any_o secret_a unwillingness_n to_o ordinance_n or_o duty_n then_o stir_v up_o thyself_o to_o wait_v upon_o god_n expect_v that_o he_o have_v some_o special_a mercy_n for_o thou_o which_o satan_n will_v hinder_v thou_o off_o jun._n 1._o this_o day_n the_o lord_n do_v in_o the_o hear_n of_o his_o word_n revive_v some_o conviction_n which_o have_v former_o be_v upon_o my_o spirit_n though_o in_o a_o very_a languid_a manner_n i_o stand_v convince_v before_o the_o lord_n of_o unbelief_n and_o that_o i_o be_v a_o lose_a creature_n because_o thereof_o from_o the_o word_n of_o our_o saviour_n joh._n 3._o 18._o he_o that_o believe_v not_o be_v condemn_v already_o conscience_n tell_v i_o that_o i_o be_o yet_o in_o unbelief_n that_o i_o want_v that_o faith_n which_o be_v accompany_v with_o the_o new_a birth_n joh._n 1._o 12_o 13._o that_o faith_n which_o shall_v purge_v i_o from_o atheism_n formality_n and_o rest_v in_o duty_n from_o hypocrisy_n and_o deadness_n from_o unclean_a affection_n and_o inordinate_a love_n of_o the_o world_n from_o a_o vain_a mind_n and_o a_o light_a spirit_n that_o faith_n which_o shall_v purify_v my_o heart_n from_o these_o and_o the_o like_a evil_n act._n 15._o 9_o that_o faith_n which_o shall_v make_v christ_n a_o great_a reality_n and_o more_o precious_a to_o i_o than_o any_o thing_n in_o the_o world_n 1_o pet._n 2._o 7._o that_o faith_n which_o bring_v peace_n with_o god_n and_o joy_n in_o the_o holy_a ghost_n unspeakable_a and_o full_a of_o glory_n rom._n 5._o 1._o 1_o pet._n 1._o 8._o i_o find_v i_o have_v have_v a_o dead_a faith_n jam._n 2._o 17_o 20._o and_o presume_v upon_o god_n mercy_n in_o christ_n although_o i_o have_v be_v estrange_v from_o god_n in_o my_o heart_n and_o nature_n my_o rest_a in_o duty_n and_o trust_v in_o my_o own_o righteousness_n as_o far_o as_o i_o can_v see_v have_v be_v the_o deceit_n of_o my_o heart_n lord_n lay_v this_o conviction_n upon_o my_o conscience_n for_o i_o find_v my_o heart_n will_v put_v it_o off_o yea_o it_o have_v already_o desperate_o harden_v itself_o against_o thou_o i_o fear_v i_o shall_v outgrow_a this_o conviction_n of_o thy_o word_n as_o at_o other_o time_n i_o feel_v a_o careless_a spirit_n that_o will_v make_v light_n of_o eternity_n and_o of_o jesus_n christ_n lord_n break_v my_o heart_n under_o thy_o word_n for_o my_o unbelief_n and_o neglect_v of_o christ_n let_v i_o not_o heal_v myself_o but_o wait_v till_o thou_o shall_v heal_v i_o thou_o do_v help_v the_o unbelief_n of_o thy_o servant_n thomas_n oh_o that_o thou_o will_v help_v i_o also_o the_o lord_n have_v show_v i_o that_o i_o be_o dead_a in_o sin_n not_o only_o from_o the_o testimony_n of_o his_o word_n eph._n 2._o 1._o col._n 2._o 13._o but_o by_o inward_a experience_n for_o i_o feel_v myself_o alienate_v from_o the_o life_n of_o god_n cut_v off_o from_o communion_n with_o the_o lord_n jesus_n separate_v from_o god_n and_o his_o bless_a spirit_n my_o deceitful_a heart_n have_v often_o go_v about_o to_o repel_v this_o conviction_n and_o have_v cause_v i_o sometime_o to_o mistake_v a_o life_n of_o morality_n for_o spiritual_a life_n and_o at_o other_o time_n a_o life_n of_o formality_n but_o now_o i_o find_v the_o scripture_n speak_v of_o dead_a work_n and_o call_v for_o repentance_n from_o they_o heb._n 6._o 1._o and_o purge_v our_o conscience_n from_o they_o heb._n 9_o 14._o by_o dead_a work_n i_o understand_v not_o only_o the_o gross_a pollution_n of_o the_o world_n but_o all_o work_n whatever_o that_o be_v do_v by_o a_o man_n void_a of_o the_o quicken_a spirit_n of_o god_n without_o union_n to_o christ_n there_o be_v no_o spiritual_a life_n for_o as_o the_o natural_a life_n result_v from_o the_o union_n of_o the_o soul_n with_o the_o body_n and_o the_o state_n of_o death_n be_v nothing_o but_o the_o
deafness_n to_o his_o voice_n 2._o to_o put_v we_o upon_o more_o earnest_n seek_v of_o he_o 3._o to_o exercise_v and_o try_v our_o grace_n god_n proportion_n mercy_n according_a to_o his_o delay_n they_o be_v the_o great_a when_o give_v in_o sarah_n tarry_v long_o for_o a_o son_n and_o then_o have_v a_o isaac_n so_o do_v hanna_n but_o then_o have_v a_o samuel_n so_o elizabeth_n but_o then_o have_v a_o john_n my_o heart_n rejoice_v at_o this_o hope_v that_o god_n will_v give_v a_o high_a degree_n of_o brokenness_n of_o heart_n in_o his_o own_o due_a time_n though_o at_o present_a my_o heart_n be_v hard_o and_o i_o remember_v how_o hard_a mr._n bradfords_n heart_n be_v once_o as_o to_o his_o own_o sense_n and_o how_o eminent_a he_o be_v afterward_o for_o tenderness_n as_o m._n fox_n relate_v god_n be_v very_o good_a this_o day_n but_o oh_o how_o vile_a and_o sinful_a be_v i_o i_o feel_v a_o very_a proud_a vainglorious_a heart_n both_o in_o hear_v and_o after_o sermon_n be_v do_v but_o the_o lord_n chastise_v i_o for_o it_o for_o at_o night_n when_o i_o preach_v in_o the_o chapel_n the_o lord_n forsake_v i_o i_o find_v no_o assistance_n of_o his_o spirit_n either_o in_o prayer_n or_o preach_v but_o be_v much_o confound_v in_o both_o have_v little_a or_o no_o sense_n of_o the_o thing_n i_o speak_v of_o or_o pray_v for_o we_o read_v of_o naaman_n 2_o king_n 5._o 11._o that_o he_o expect_v a_o miraculous_a way_n of_o cure_n i_o think_v say_v he_o he_o will_v sure_o come_v out_o and_o stand_v and_o call_v on_o the_o name_n of_o the_o lord_n his_o god_n and_o strike_v his_o hand_n over_o the_o place_n and_o recover_v the_o leper_n so_o have_v i_o find_v myself_o apt_a to_o expect_v that_o the_o spirit_n of_o god_n shall_v mortify_v and_o subdue_v sin_n in_o i_o without_o my_o strive_v against_o it_o but_o i_o have_v learn_v it_o be_v the_o will_n of_o god_n that_o i_o shall_v strive_v against_o sin_n as_o well_o as_o pray_v and_o wait_v for_o his_o spirit_n god_n work_v in_o we_o to_o will_v and_o to_o do_v exclude_v not_o our_o endeavour_v phil._n 2._o 12_o 13._o have_v promise_n let_v we_o cleanse_v ourselves_o 2_o cor._n 7._o 1._o octob._n 17._o i_o be_v immoderate_a in_o the_o use_n of_o the_o creature_n and_o though_o check_v and_o reprove_v from_o within_o yet_o i_o persist_v at_o night_n when_o i_o walk_v in_o my_o chamber_n consider_v what_o i_o have_v do_v i_o be_v sad_a and_o say_v to_o god_n lord_n i_o have_v rebel_v against_o thou_o i_o have_v no_o soon_o say_v it_o in_o my_o heart_n but_o immediate_o that_o word_n be_v bring_v to_o i_o dan._n 9_o 9_o to_o the_o lord_n our_o god_n belong_v mercy_n and_o forgiveness_n he_o will_v forgive_v again_o and_o again_o though_o we_o have_v rebel_v against_o he_o o_o the_o wonderful_a goodness_n of_o god_n be_v amaze_v o_o my_o soul_n at_o this_o love_n now_o i_o see_v the_o promise_n isa_n 65._o 24._o before_o they_o call_v i_o will_v answer_v and_o whilst_o they_o be_v yet_o speak_v i_o will_v hear_v make_v good_a to_o i_o in_o the_o evening_n on_o my_o bed_n consider_v on_o this_o love_n of_o god_n whence_o it_o shall_v come_v to_o pass_v that_o the_o lord_n shall_v deal_v thus_o gracious_o with_o i_o it_o be_v answer_v i_o from_o mic._n 7._o 18._o he_o pass_v by_o the_o transgression_n of_o the_o remnant_n of_o his_o heritage_n because_o he_o delight_v in_o mercy_n next_o morning_n at_o my_o first_o awake_v the_o spirit_n of_o god_n bring_v that_o scripture_n into_o my_o thought_n ps_n 65._o 3._o iniquity_n prevail_v against_o i_o as_o for_o our_o transgression_n thou_o shall_v purge_v they_o away_o it_o come_v to_o i_o with_o some_o life_n and_o power_n and_o be_v very_o suitable_a to_o my_o condition_n oh_o the_o goodness_n of_o god_n the_o riches_n of_o his_o grace_n that_o he_o shall_v so_o soon_o come_v into_o my_o relief_n and_o raise_v my_o soul_n by_o his_o promise_n this_o be_v mercy_n never_o to_o be_v forget_v sept._n 28._o in_o meditation_n i_o find_v the_o lord_n draw_v forth_o my_o heart_n to_o close_v with_o christ_n i_o be_v convince_v that_o god_n be_v willing_a to_o bestow_v his_o son_n upon_o i_o because_o he_o do_v not_o only_o invite_v i_o isa_n 55._o 1._o and_o command_v i_o 1_o joh._n 3._o 23._o but_o even_o beseech_v and_o entreat_v i_o to_o receive_v christ_n 2_o cor._n 5._o 20._o i_o be_v further_o convince_v of_o god_n real_a intention_n and_o willingness_n to_o give_v i_o his_o son_n from_o his_o patient_a wait_a and_o long-suffering_a in_o expect_v my_o return_n even_o after_o much_o deafness_n to_o the_o voice_n of_o his_o spirit_n and_o dally_v with_o his_o grace_n he_o still_o offer_v his_o son_n to_o i_o yea_o he_o press_v in_o upon_o i_o with_o the_o renew_n of_o good_a motion_n and_o affection_n which_o i_o have_v quench_v now_o whence_o be_v all_o this_o but_o from_o the_o love_n and_o mercy_n of_o god_n that_o he_o shall_v be_v thus_o willing_a to_o have_v i_o take_v his_o son_n now_o who_o be_o i_o that_o i_o shall_v withstand_v god_n why_o shall_v i_o forsake_v my_o own_o mercy_n lord_n thou_o have_v show_v i_o that_o my_o former_a revolting_n shall_v not_o hinder_v this_o thy_o mercy_n if_o i_o will_v acknowledge_v my_o sin_n renounce_v myself_o return_v unto_o thou_o and_o embrace_v thy_o son_n jer._n 3._o 12_o 13._o o_o lord_n i_o thankful_o accept_v thy_o offer_n of_o grace_n i_o come_v unto_o thou_o oh_o give_v i_o thy_o son_n behold_v i_o give_v thou_o myself_o let_v i_o be_v espouse_v to_o the_o lord_n jesus_n i_o be_o willing_a through_o grace_n to_o take_v up_o my_o cross_n to_o deny_v myself_o and_o to_o follow_v thou_o nou._n 1._o have_v set_v apart_o that_o day_n to_o seek_v the_o lord_n and_o to_o humble_v my_o soul_n before_o he_o i_o can_v not_o get_v my_o heart_n to_o be_v afflict_v and_o mourn_v under_o sin_n but_o find_v much_o lightness_n in_o prayer_n the_o lord_n hide_v his_o face_n and_o do_v not_o come_v in_o to_o my_o poor_a soul_n with_o his_o quicken_a presence_n so_o that_o i_o lay_v in_o a_o poor_a desolate_a forsake_a condition_n under_o much_o confusion_n yet_o in_o the_o evening_n a_o little_a before_o go_v to_o bed_n seek_v the_o lord_n again_o i_o be_v revive_v in_o read_v psal_n 40._o especial_o v_o 17._o i_o be_o poor_a and_o needy_a yet_o the_o lord_n think_v upon_o i_o etc._n etc._n and_o next_o morning_n in_o read_v psal_n 9_o 10._o 18._o thou_o lord_n have_v not_o forsake_v they_o that_o seek_v thou_o the_o needy_a shall_v not_o always_o be_v forget_v the_o expectation_n of_o the_o poor_a shall_v not_o perish_v for_o ever_o i_o be_v thereby_o encourage_v still_o to_o wait_v and_o hope_n o_o lord_n i_o have_v seek_v thou_o withhold_v not_o thou_o thy_o tender_a mercy_n from_o i_o how_o long_o will_v thou_o hide_v thy_o face_n from_o i_o o_o when_o will_v thou_o come_v unto_o i_o make_v haste_n to_o help_v i_o o_o my_o god_n i_o be_o poor_a and_o needy_a o_o let_v i_o not_o be_v forget_v for_o ever_o let_v not_o my_o expectation_n perish_v for_o ever_o and_o now_o o_o lord_n what_o be_v my_o expectation_n it_o be_v even_o this_o the_o giving_z in_o of_o mercy_n and_o grace_n through_o the_o lord_n jesus_n pardon_v mercy_n and_o renew_v grace_n it_o be_v the_o pour_v out_o of_o thy_o spirit_n the_o take_v away_o the_o heart_n of_o stone_n and_o give_v a_o heart_n of_o flesh_n it_o be_v a_o heart_n to_o know_v thou_o to_o fear_v thou_o to_o love_v thou_o and_o obey_v thou_o etc._n etc._n dec._n 6._o be_v in_o trouble_n and_o distress_n of_o spirit_n because_o the_o lord_n hide_v his_o face_n and_o withdraw_v himself_o from_o i_o i_o go_v in_o the_o poverty_n of_o my_o spirit_n to_o trinity_n lecture_n and_o with_o some_o expectation_n to_o meet_v with_o god_n in_o his_o own_o ordinance_n the_o lord_n be_v gracious_a to_o i_o and_o speak_v comfort_n to_o i_o from_o his_o word_n i_o see_v it_o be_v good_a to_o wait_v upon_o god_n though_o he_o send_v the_o rich_a empty_a away_o yet_o he_o fill_v the_o hungry_a with_o good_a thing_n my_o soul_n be_v glad_a and_o rejoice_v for_o a_o season_n but_o go_v into_o the_o country_n the_o same_o day_n among_o friend_n and_o variety_n of_o worldly_a affair_n i_o lose_v something_o of_o the_o savour_n and_o relish_v which_o the_o good_a word_n of_o god_n leave_v upon_o i_o and_o i_o find_v palpable_o my_o soul_n rest_v in_o those_o comfort_n which_o i_o have_v receive_v and_o grow_v secure_a and_o careless_a from_o whence_o the_o lord_n give_v i_o this_o instruction_n that_o i_o be_o a_o poor_a silly_a wretch_n know_v neither_o how_o
suffer_v little_a child_n to_o come_v unto_o i_o and_o from_o observe_v how_o prevalent_a faith_n and_o prayer_n be_v with_o god_n for_o the_o remission_n of_o sin_n and_o salvation_n of_o other_o as_o well_o as_o our_o own_o soul_n math._n 9_o 2._o jesus_n see_v their_o faith_n say_v son_n be_v of_o good_a cheer_n thy_o sin_n be_v forgive_v thou_o so_o 1_o joh._n 5._o 16._o if_o a_o man_n see_v his_o brother_n sin_n a_o sin_n which_o be_v not_o unto_o death_n he_o shall_v ask_v of_o god_n and_o he_o shall_v give_v he_o life_n now_o i_o considere_v that_o though_o my_o child_n have_v sin_n incident_a to_o childhood_n yet_o it_o have_v not_o sin_v the_o sin_n unto_o death_n and_o therefore_o i_o conclude_v that_o if_o i_o ask_v of_o god_n he_o will_v give_v it_o life_n jam._n 5._o 15._o the_o prayer_n of_o faith_n shall_v save_v the_o sick_a and_o if_o he_o have_v commit_v sin_n they_o shall_v be_v forgive_v he_o math._n 15._o 22_o 28._o the_o woman_n of_o canaan_n faith_n and_o prayer_n avail_v with_o christ_n for_o the_o cast_v the_o devil_n out_o of_o her_o daughter_n now_o god_n help_v i_o to_o act_v faith_n for_o my_o child_n upon_o the_o account_n of_o his_o covenant_n and_o stir_v i_o by_o his_o spirit_n often_o to_o pray_v for_o my_o child_n i_o be_v thereby_o encourage_v to_o hope_v for_o its_o salvation_n when_o my_o child_n die_v the_o same_o day_n the_o small_a pox_n begin_v to_o appear_v upon_o my_o sister_n i_o know_v not_o what_o breach_n god_n may_v be_v about_o to_o make_v in_o my_o family_n but_o as_o i_o be_v hear_v the_o word_n the_o minister_n treat_v on_o god_n intention_n to_o glorify_v himself_o by_o all_o affliction_n that_o he_o lay_v upon_o his_o people_n from_o that_o scripture_n isa_n 5._o 15_o 16._o this_o word_n satisfy_v i_o that_o whatever_o judgement_n god_n shall_v bring_v upon_o i_o or_o my_o family_n he_o will_v exalt_v and_o glorify_v his_o own_o name_n by_o they_o hereupon_o i_o submit_v and_o resign_v up_o myself_o to_o god_n to_o do_v with_o i_o and_o i_o what_o he_o please_v yet_o i_o be_v then_o under_o the_o sense_n of_o sin_n which_o weaken_v my_o faith_n and_o make_v i_o fearful_a i_o shall_v not_o bear_v up_o cheerful_o if_o i_o shall_v be_v visit_v while_o under_o the_o sense_n of_o guilt_n but_o i_o be_v much_o encourage_v in_o meditation_n from_o mic._n 7._o 8_o 9_o when_o i_o sit_v in_o darkness_n the_o lord_n will_v be_v a_o light_n unto_o i_o this_o faith_n they_o hold_v when_o their_o affliction_n be_v attend_v with_o the_o sense_n of_o sin_n for_o it_o follow_v i_o will_v bear_v the_o indignation_n of_o the_o lord_n because_o i_o have_v sin_v against_o he_o i_o be_v also_o much_o encourage_v by_o view_v the_o promise_n that_o i_o have_v collect_v to_o comfort_v myself_o with_o when_o i_o be_v in_o danger_n of_o contagious_a disease_n especial_o those_o two_o viz_o ps_n 41._o 12._o as_o for_o i_o thou_o set_v i_o before_o thy_o face_n for_o ever_o and_o this_o be_v when_o under_o a_o evil_a disease_n v_o 8_o which_o be_v the_o fruit_n of_o his_o sin_n ver_fw-la 4._o and_o ps_n 38._o 5_o 7._o my_o wound_n stink_v and_o be_v corrupt_a my_o loin_n be_v fill_v with_o a_o loathsome_a disease_n etc._n etc._n though_o in_o this_o visitation_n he_o be_v afflict_v with_o the_o sense_n of_o sin_n and_o of_o god_n displeasure_n v_o 1_o 2_o 3_o 4_o and_o be_v deprive_v of_o the_o comfortable_a society_n of_o his_o relation_n and_o friend_n v_o 11._o yet_o he_o keep_v up_o his_o hope_n in_o god_n v_o 15._o in_o a_o little_a time_n after_o i_o have_v the_o sense_n of_o guilt_n take_v off_o while_o i_o be_v study_v my_o sermon_n to_o remove_v the_o fear_n of_o death_n jun._n 12._o as_o i_o be_v read_v act._n 6._o in_o my_o evening_n course_n by_o myself_o i_o observe_v by_o compare_v ver_fw-la 4._o 7._o that_o upon_o the_o apostle_n give_v themselves_o continual_o to_o prayer_n and_o to_o the_o ministry_n of_o the_o word_n the_o number_n of_o the_o disciple_n increase_v great_o in_o jerusalem_n and_o a_o great_a company_n of_o the_o priest_n be_v obedient_a to_o the_o faith_n i_o be_v instruct_v and_o affect_v with_o it_o and_o see_v it_o be_v necessary_a i_o shall_v pray_v much_o as_o well_o as_o preach_v much_o if_o i_o will_v convert_v many_o soul_n and_o that_o upon_o give_v myself_o to_o prayer_n and_o to_o the_o ministry_n of_o the_o word_n i_o be_v in_o the_o most_o likely_a way_n to_o convert_v many_o soul_n to_o christ_n the_o priest_n be_v the_o chief_a opposer_n of_o the_o gospel_n act._n 4._o 1_o 2._o the_o chief_a persecuter_n of_o christ_n math._n 16._o 21._o and_o 20_o 18._o the_o most_o active_a in_o put_v christ_n to_o death_n mar._n 15._o 10_o 11._o luk._n 19_o 47._o the_o multitude_n that_o come_v to_o apprehend_v christ_n be_v send_v by_o the_o priest_n joh._n 18._o 3._o the_o false_a witness_n be_v suborn_v by_o the_o priest_n math_n 26._o 59_o yet_o by_o the_o power_n of_o prayer_n and_o the_o word_n these_o priest_n be_v bring_v in_o by_o great_a number_n to_o the_o faith_n of_o christ_n and_o the_o obedience_n of_o the_o gosple_n jun._n 25._o about_o three_o of_o the_o clock_n in_o the_o morning_n be_v lord_n day_n my_o wife_n be_v deliver_v of_o a_o daughter_n and_o that_o morning_n the_o lord_n send_v a_o very_a plentiful_a rain_n the_o tuesday_n before_o we_o keep_v a_o day_n of_o humiliation_n for_o my_o wife_n safe_a delivery_n and_o to_o seek_v the_o lord_n for_o rain_n and_o the_o lord_n give_v a_o gracious_a answer_n to_o the_o prayer_n of_o that_o day_n both_o at_o one_o time_n jul._n 31._o i_o see_v the_o plague_n of_o my_o heart_n break_v out_o i_o argue_v against_o my_o corruption_n yet_o it_o overcome_v i_o and_o lead_v i_o captive_a it_o wound_v i_o that_o i_o shall_v still_o sin_v against_o god_n even_o while_o under_o his_o correct_a hand_n my_o faith_n be_v revive_v by_o that_o scripture_n isa_n 57_o 17_o 18._o i_o smite_v he_o he_o go_v on_o froward_o in_o the_o way_n of_o his_o own_o heart_n i_o have_v see_v his_o way_n and_o will_v heal_v he_o i_o be_v much_o encourage_v from_o that_o word_n i_o will_v heal_v he_o which_o import_v the_o subdue_a as_o well_o as_o the_o pardon_v of_o sin_n aug._n 2._o i_o be_v encourage_v to_o write_v something_o that_o may_v be_v useful_a for_o my_o generation_n from_o jer._n 36._o 1_o 2_o 3_o 4_o 5._o two_o thing_n especial_o from_o that_o scripture_n do_v put_v i_o forward_o to_o this_o 1._o writing_n of_o the_o word_n of_o god_n be_v a_o mean_n to_o convert_v soul_n and_o to_o lead_v they_o to_o repentance_n 2._o this_o command_n for_o writing_n be_v give_v when_o jeremiah_n be_v shut_v up_o and_o can_v not_o preach_v as_o usual_o and_o such_o be_v my_o case_n viz_o i_o be_v debar_v from_o public_a preach_n hereupon_o i_o apprehend_v god_n call_v i_o to_o write_v sept._n 6._o be_v fast_o day_n as_o i_o come_v from_o church_n i_o receive_v a_o letter_n from_o mr._n j._n which_o acquaint_v i_o that_o my_o son_n samuel_n be_v very_o ill_o that_o day_n i_o spend_v somewhat_o unprofitable_o i_o be_v not_o affect_v as_o i_o ought_v with_o public_a judgement_n and_o the_o misery_n of_o other_o and_o therefore_o it_o be_v just_a with_o god_n to_o bring_v affliction_n into_o my_o family_n the_o next_o day_n my_o wife_n and_o i_o go_v over_o to_o see_v our_o child_n and_o after_o we_o have_v be_v with_o it_o about_o five_o or_o six_o hour_n it_o die_v very_o sudden_o i_o be_v trouble_v that_o i_o do_v not_o pray_v with_o it_o before_o it_o die_v which_o be_v occasion_v by_o be_v in_o another_o family_n and_o my_o not_o apprehend_v death_n to_o be_v near_o this_o stroke_n come_v soon_o after_o my_o removal_n from_o colchester_n i_o commune_v with_o my_o heart_n whether_o i_o have_v sin_v in_o remove_v from_o that_o place_n and_o my_o conscience_n do_v not_o at_o that_o time_n charge_v i_o with_o sin_n in_o remove_v my_o habitation_n i_o be_v comfort_v in_o call_v to_o mind_n god_n deal_v with_o jacob_n who_o meet_v with_o many_o affliction_n in_o those_o remove_n which_o he_o make_v at_o the_o command_n of_o god_n he_o be_v pursue_v by_o his_o uncle_n put_v into_o great_a fear_n by_o his_o brother_n lose_v deborah_n his_o mother_n nurse_n and_o rachel_n his_o belove_a wife_n his_o son_n reuben_n simeon_n and_o levi_n fall_v into_o foul_a sin_n etc._n etc._n hence_o i_o see_v that_o god_n try_v his_o dear_a servant_n with_o sudden_a and_o sore_a affliction_n in_o those_o place_n to_o which_o they_o have_v remove_v at_o the_o call_n of_o god_n sept._n 24._o i_o enjoy_v the_o opportunity_n
of_o the_o lord_n supper_n i_o find_v god_n gracious_a to_o i_o in_o preparation_n in_o the_o morning_n when_o i_o awake_v god_n bring_v to_o my_o remembrance_n jer._n 2._o 32._o can_v a_o maid_n forget_v her_o ornament_n or_o a_o bride_n her_o attire_n i_o consider_v i_o be_v to_o meet_v and_o sup_v with_o my_o bridegroom_n the_o lord_n jesus_n and_o then_o consider_v what_o ornament_n and_o attire_n will_v best_o please_v he_o that_o i_o may_v put_v they_o on_o and_o these_o be_v present_v to_o my_o thought_n some_o as_o i_o lie_v in_o bed_n and_o some_o afterward_o as_o lovely_a and_o desirable_a in_o the_o sight_n of_o christ_n which_o i_o determine_v to_o put_v on_o 1_o sy_n a_o meek_a and_o quiet_a spirit_n 1_o pet._n 3._o 4._o 2_o lie_n faith_n cant._n 4._o 9_o thou_o hash_fw-mi ravish_v my_o heart_n my_o sister_n my_o spouse_n with_o one_o of_o thy_o eye_n faith_n have_v the_o office_n of_o a_o eye_n in_o the_o soul_n joh._n 6._o 40._o every_o one_o that_o see_v and_o believe_v look_v unto_o jesus_n heb_n 12._o 2._o 3_o lie_v love_n cant._n 4._o 10._o how_o fair_a be_v thy_o love_n my_o sister_n etc._n etc._n 4_o lie_v humility_n math._n 11._o 29._o learn_v of_o i_o for_o i_o be_o lowly_a in_o heart_n 5_o lie_v self-denial_n and_o forsake_v of_o every_o thing_n that_o come_v in_o competition_n with_o christ_n ps_n 45_o 10_o 11._o harken_v o_o daughter_n and_o consider_v forget_v thy_o own_o people_n and_o thy_o father_n house_n so_o shall_v the_o king_n great_o desire_v thy_o beauty_n 6_o lie_v a_o obediential_a frame_n of_o heart_n math._n 10._o 20_o 21._o all_o these_o have_v i_o observe_v from_o my_o youth_n jesus_n behold_v he_o love_v he_o 7_o lie_v a_o heart_n resolve_v to_o hold_v and_o maintain_v frequent_a converse_n and_o communion_n with_o he_o cant._n 2._o 14_o let_v i_o see_v thy_o countenance_n let_v i_o hear_v thy_o voice_n for_o sweet_a be_v thy_o voice_n and_o thy_o countenance_n be_v comely_a 8_o lie_v uprightness_n prov._n 11._o 20._o 9_o lie_n a_o holy_a fear_n of_o god_n and_o hope_n in_o his_o mercy_n ps_n 147._o 11._o 10_o lie_n fruitfulness_n cant._n 4._o 16_o 5._o 1._o but_o though_o god_n gracious_o assist_v i_o in_o preparation_n yet_o in_o the_o time_n of_o receive_v my_o heart_n be_v flat_a and_o dead_a as_o soon_o as_o the_o sacrament_n be_v end_v i_o retire_v to_o my_o chamber_n to_o to_o pray_v and_o as_o i_o be_v pray_v that_o scripture_n be_v bring_v to_o my_o remembrance_n rom._n 3._o 3_o 4._o shall_v their_o unbelief_n make_v the_o faith_n of_o god_n of_o none_o effect_v god_n forbid_v i_o argue_v thence_o that_o the_o sin_n of_o my_o holy_a thing_n my_o deadness_n and_o want_n of_o holy_a and_o due_a affection_n in_o time_n of_o receive_v shall_v not_o make_v void_a what_o god_n have_v promise_v in_o and_o by_o this_o ordinance_n but_o that_o the_o cup_n be_v to_o i_o the_o communion_n of_o the_o blood_n of_o christ_n and_o the_o new_a testament_n in_o his_o blood_n and_o the_o breed_v the_o communion_n of_o the_o body_n of_o christ_n this_o do_v strengthen_v my_o faith_n to_o depend_v upon_o god_n for_o the_o benefit_n signify_v and_o seal_v by_o that_o ordinance_n notwithstanding_o the_o indisposition_n of_o my_o heart_n in_o the_o time_n of_o receive_v sept._n 29._o as_o i_o be_v muse_v on_o that_o rich_a promise_n make_v to_o abraham_n gen._n 15._o 1._o fear_v not_o abraham_n i_o be_o thy_o shield_n and_o thy_o exceed_a great_a reward_n which_o be_v sufficient_a to_o bear_v up_o the_o soul_n under_o the_o fear_n and_o danger_n of_o any_o evil_n and_o against_o the_o loss_n and_o want_n of_o any_o good_a thing_n i_o consider_v what_o warrant_n i_o have_v to_o apply_v that_o promise_n and_o present_o that_o scripture_n be_v hint_v to_o i_o gal._n 3._o 9_o they_o which_o be_v of_o faith_n be_v bless_v with_o faithful_a abraham_n i_o be_v strengthen_v and_o comfort_v by_o it_o twice_o in_o this_o weak_a i_o observe_v that_o set_v upon_o worldly_a business_n which_o call_v hasty_o upon_o i_o before_o i_o have_v be_v at_o closet_n prayer_n and_o perform_v my_o usual_a meditation_n on_o the_o covenant_n and_o promise_n of_o god_n my_o heart_n grow_v out_o of_o frame_n and_o unsavoury_a and_o i_o be_v successless_a on_o both_o day_n oct._n 1._o sabbath_n day_n at_o my_o entrance_n on_o my_o morning_n meditation_n on_o god_n covenant_n i_o have_v a_o great_a combat_n in_o my_o spirit_n about_o my_o lay_v claim_n to_o god_n as_o my_o god_n have_v be_v late_o foil_v by_o my_o sin_n but_o god_n help_v i_o and_o show_v i_o out_o of_o his_o word_n that_o i_o may_v and_o ought_v to_o keep_v my_o hold_n of_o god_n as_o my_o god_n notwithstanding_o my_o often_o backslide_n from_o he_o jer._n 3._o 1_o 5_o 7_o 8._o yet_o v._n 19_o say_v god_n thou_o shall_v call_v i_o my_o father_n hos_n 2._o 5._o with_o 16._o the_o same_o evening_n consider_v how_o often_o and_o great_o i_o have_v sin_v and_o yet_o have_v be_v forgive_v i_o ponder_v on_o that_o scripture_n luke_n 7_o 47._o and_o see_v that_o i_o have_v cause_n to_o love_v the_o lord_n much_o because_o i_o have_v much_o forgive_v and_o consider_v how_o i_o shall_v show_v my_o love_n to_o god_n and_o that_o much_o these_o scripture_n be_v hint_v to_o i_o ps_n 40._o 16._o let_v such_o as_o love_v thy_o name_n say_v continual_o let_v the_o lord_n be_v magnify_v ps_n 97._o 10._o you_o that_o love_v the_o lord_n hate_v evil_a joh._n 14._o 10._o if_o you_o love_v i_o keep_v my_o commandment_n joh._n 21._o 15._o simon_n love_v thou_o i_o feed_v my_o sheep_n feed_v my_o lamb_n lord_n help_v i_o thus_o to_o show_v much_o love_n to_o thou_o oct._n 8._o have_v be_v overtake_v with_o the_o sin_n which_o easy_o beset_v i_o and_o have_v often_o foil_v i_o my_o spirit_n fall_v and_o my_o faith_n flag_v and_o i_o can_v not_o look_v upon_o god_n with_o any_o boldness_n be_v indispose_v to_o prayer_n yet_o in_o time_n of_o prayer_n god_n magnify_v his_o free_a grace_n to_o i_o and_o revive_v my_o soul_n with_o that_o word_n 1_o joh._n 2._o 1_o 2._o if_o any_o man_n sin_n we_o have_v a_o advocate_n etc._n etc._n after_o i_o have_v end_v my_o supplication_n i_o ponder_v on_o that_o scripture_n and_o be_v comfort_v against_o the_o sense_n of_o my_o sin_n by_o the_o advocateship_n of_o jesus_n christ_n who_o plead_v his_o propitiatory_a sacrifice_n as_o a_o satisfaction_n to_o his_o father_n justice_n for_o the_o sin_n of_o believer_n as_o oft_o as_o they_o fall_v into_o they_o and_o query_v with_o myself_o whether_o he_o will_v be_v a_o advocate_n to_o i_o to_o plead_v for_o i_o i_o be_v satisfy_v from_o that_o word_n joh._n 6._o 37._o he_o that_o come_v to_o i_o i_o will_v in_o no_o wise_a cast_v out_o i_o be_v also_o further_o encourage_v from_o heb._n 7._o 25._o i_o consider_v that_o the_o intercession_n of_o christ_n answer_v all_o charge_n and_o accusation_n that_o can_v be_v bring_v against_o those_o for_o who_o he_o intercede_v rom._n 8._o 33._o 34._o and_o that_o the_o intercession_n of_o christ_n keep_v we_o â—o_o firm_o in_o the_o love_n of_o god_n that_o nothing_o can_v be_v able_a to_o separate_v we_o from_o it_o rom._n 8._o 34._o 35_o 38_o 39_o i_o consider_v further_a that_o the_o person_n for_o who_o he_o intercede_v be_v such_o as_o come_v to_o god_n by_o he_o and_o that_o he_o intercede_v for_o they_o at_o all_o time_n when_o they_o be_v fall_v as_o well_o as_o when_o they_o stand_v when_o they_o be_v dead_a as_o well_o as_o when_o in_o a_o lively_a frame_n for_o he_o ever_o live_v to_o make_v intercession_n after_o these_o meditation_n my_o spirit_n revive_v and_o notwithstanding_o i_o be_v before_o bow_v down_o under_o the_o sense_n of_o guilt_n i_o go_v with_o boldness_n to_o god_n lean_v upon_o the_o merit_n and_o intercession_n of_o jesus_n christ_n oct._n 13._o my_o spirit_n be_v bow_v down_o with_o the_o sense_n of_o guilt_n because_o i_o be_v foil_v by_o a_o sin_n against_o which_o i_o have_v pray_v many_o year_n i_o be_v revive_v in_o read_v in_o my_o course_n 2_o cor._n 12._o 7_o 8_o 9_o whence_o i_o observe_v 1_o st_z god_n see_v it_o needful_a for_o some_o of_o his_o servant_n to_o meet_v with_o buffet_n 2_o lie_n when_o god_n le_fw-fr we_o loose_v any_o corruption_n a_o thorn_n in_o the_o flesh_n or_o a_o temptation_n a_o messenger_n of_o satan_n to_o buffet_v we_o it_o be_v to_o keep_v we_o humble_a and_o from_o be_v exalt_v 3_o lie_n god_n suffer_v his_o faithful_a servant_n sometime_o to_o pray_v long_o against_o corruption_n or_o temptation_n and_o yet_o can_v get_v it_o remove_v 4_o lie_n though_o my_o strength_n be_v not_o