his_o family_n as_o a_o little_a church_n when_o he_o be_v at_o home_n and_o that_o by_o a_o unintermit_a diligence_n and_o watchfulness_n antidote_n himself_o against_o the_o contagion_n of_o bad_a example_n and_o vain_a company_n and_o the_o temptation_n of_o a_o evil_a world_n when_o he_o be_v abroad_o who_o be_v it_o that_o walk_v so_o circumspect_o as_o to_o be_v unblameable_a and_o without_o offence_n who_o be_v it_o that_o be_v so_o courageous_a in_o his_o reproof_n so_o zealous_a of_o good_a work_n so_o tender_a of_o his_o own_o salvation_n and_o of_o the_o salvation_n of_o other_o as_o he_o ought_v to_o be_v our_o neglect_n of_o many_o thousand_o duty_n call_v for_o long_a and_o severe_a punishment_n at_o the_o hand_n of_o god_n and_o it_o be_v a_o subject_a of_o great_a wonder_n that_o he_o will_v be_v gracious_a even_o to_o any_o of_o the_o son_n of_o men._n and_o what_o reason_n have_v every_o one_o that_o be_v deliver_v from_o sickness_n and_o pain_n and_o death_n to_o bless_v his_o holy_a name_n and_o to_o say_v what_o be_o i_o o_o lord_n god_n that_o thou_o shall_v visit_v and_o uphold_v and_o refresh_v so_o great_a so_o inexcusable_a so_o wilful_a a_o sinner_n as_o i_o have_v be_v what_o be_o i_o a_o poor_a worm_n of_o the_o earth_n that_o thou_o shall_v so_o merciful_o regard_v i_o what_o be_o i_o that_o i_o shall_v live_v by_o thy_o goodness_n when_o i_o have_v so_o often_o deserve_v to_o die_v by_o thy_o justice_n what_o be_o i_o that_o when_o i_o have_v spend_v so_o much_o of_o my_o time_n to_o little_a purpose_n thou_o shall_v give_v i_o still_o more_o time_n that_o he_o shall_v again_o put_v i_o into_o his_o vineyard_n when_o i_o have_v loiter_v in_o it_o for_o so_o long_a a_o space_n and_o when_o i_o have_v misimprove_v many_o thousand_o talent_n and_o know_v not_o what_o to_o answer_v for_o they_o he_o shall_v pass_v by_o and_o remit_v my_o former_a debt_n and_o put_v into_o my_o hand_n a_o new_a stock_n what_o be_o i_o that_o his_o dew_n shall_v remain_v upon_o my_o branch_n when_o he_o may_v have_v say_v of_o i_o as_o of_o the_o barren_a figtree_n cut_v it_o down_o why_o cumber_v it_o the_o ground_n any_o long_o o_o what_o grace_n be_v this_o that_o a_o god_n who_o i_o have_v so_o frequent_o and_o so_o heinous_o provoke_v shall_v spare_v i_o to_o recover_v strength_n that_o when_o i_o have_v mock_v he_o with_o so_o many_o cold_a and_o lazy_a prayer_n he_o shall_v give_v i_o opportunity_n to_o pray_v again_o when_o i_o have_v so_o often_o misimprove_v his_o sabbath_n and_o his_o gospel_n and_o the_o offer_v of_o his_o son_n that_o he_o shall_v continue_v to_o i_o the_o blessing_n of_o his_o holy_a day_n the_o invitation_n of_o his_o word_n and_o the_o call_v of_o christ_n that_o so_o i_o may_v repent_v of_o my_o careless_a hear_v my_o lukewarmness_n and_o my_o unbelief_n in_o the_o humble_a sense_n of_o our_o own_o unworthiness_n let_v we_o contemplate_v and_o admire_v that_o god_n that_o bring_v we_o from_o the_o grave_a many_o people_n will_v say_v if_o we_o be_v humble_v and_o if_o we_o do_v repent_v god_n will_v soon_o help_v we_o this_o be_v very_o true_a but_o if_o god_n shall_v never_o be_v merciful_a to_o we_o till_o we_o be_v prepare_v for_o mercy_n his_o mercy_n and_o his_o help_n i_o be_o afraid_a will_v come_v very_o late_o for_o as_o we_o may_v say_v it_o be_v of_o the_o lord_n mercy_n that_o we_o be_v not_o consume_v because_o his_o compassion_n fail_v not_o so_o it_o be_v of_o the_o lord_n mercy_n that_o we_o be_v deliver_v and_o he_o be_v gracious_a because_o he_o will_v be_v so_o 2._o when_o we_o be_v deliver_v from_o sickness_n and_o from_o the_o grave_a we_o must_v remember_v that_o deliverance_n so_o as_o to_o excite_v ourselves_o to_o more_o fervour_n and_o affection_n before_o all_o our_o duty_n we_o shall_v stir_v up_o ourselves_o and_o that_o be_v to_o be_v do_v by_o a_o intense_a and_o serious_a application_n of_o our_o mind_n to_o that_o particular_a thing_n which_o we_o go_v about_o by_o consider_v aright_o the_o nature_n and_o consequence_n of_o a_o well-performed_n duty_n thus_o when_o we_o be_v go_v to_o pray_v we_o shall_v say_v remember_v o_o my_o soul_n to_o what_o a_o glorious_a god_n thou_o do_v approach_v and_o with_o what_o humble_a self-abhorrence_a thou_o shall_v look_v unto_o his_o majestic_a throne_n remember_v thy_o own_o vileness_n thy_o sin_n thy_o misery_n and_o thy_o want_n and_o what_o need_v thou_o have_v of_o a_o mediator_n to_o make_v thy_o poor_a and_o thy_o mean_a oblation_n to_o be_v a_o acceptable_a sacrifice_n what_o need_v thou_o have_v of_o wrestle_v and_o strive_v that_o thou_o may_v obtain_v a_o blessing_n thus_o when_o we_o give_v thanks_o we_o may_v say_v remember_v o_o my_o soul_n the_o excellent_a perfection_n of_o god_n and_o the_o benefit_n which_o thou_o have_v receive_v their_o seasonableness_n their_o worth_n and_o all_o the_o wonderful_a particular_n they_o be_v attend_v with_o this_o excitation_n of_o ourselves_o be_v not_o acquirable_a by_o a_o few_o cold_a and_o transient_a thought_n it_o be_v not_o one_o sally_n of_o religious_a meditation_n now_o and_o then_o but_o a_o continuance_n of_o these_o act_n argue_v and_o plead_v the_o case_n with_o our_o own_o soul_n till_o the_o fire_n of_o our_o love_n and_o thankfulness_n begin_v to_o burn_v we_o shall_v think_v of_o the_o mercy_n of_o god_n till_o our_o heart_n under_o the_o sense_n of_o his_o goodness_n begin_v to_o melt_v and_o warm_v till_o all_o that_o be_v within_o we_o move_v and_o stir_v with_o holy_a elevation_n towards_o he_o then_o will_v the_o holy_a spirit_n cherish_v our_o endeavour_n and_o when_o we_o be_v with_o all_o the_o skill_n we_o can_v tune_v our_o harp_n he_o will_v come_v in_o to_o our_o assistance_n and_o make_v the_o music_n more_o harmonious_a and_o our_o praise_n more_o sweet_a and_o by_o his_o vital_a influence_n banish_v all_o that_o coldness_n that_o do_v usual_o damp_n and_o clog_v our_o heart_n in_o the_o duty_n of_o religion_n there_o be_v a_o great_a advantage_n in_o soliloquy_n and_o a_o man_n may_v in_o this_o work_n talk_v to_o himself_o without_o the_o reproach_n of_o folly_n this_o be_v a_o mean_n to_o quiet_a and_o appease_v a_o rise_a storm_n psal._n 42._o 5._o and_o this_o be_v the_o way_n to_o make_v we_o look_v upon_o it_o with_o delight_n and_o thankfulness_n when_o it_o be_v past_a and_o go_v we_o know_v that_o those_o sermon_n which_o do_v but_o explain_v truth_n to_o we_o and_o present_v they_o only_o in_o their_o native_a excellency_n and_o reasonableness_n do_v not_o equal_o affect_v we_o as_o those_o do_v that_o be_v press_v with_o a_o fervent_a and_o lively_a application_n nor_o do_v those_o mercy_n which_o we_o only_o remember_v make_v so_o much_o impression_n as_o those_o which_o we_o often_o call_v to_o mind_n and_o as_o often_o urge_v upon_o our_o heart_n when_o we_o come_v before_o god_n we_o must_v make_v his_o altar_n smoke_n with_o burn_a frankincense_n we_o must_v cover_v it_o with_o our_o cheerful_a praise_n and_o a_o flame_a love_n our_o knowledge_n of_o his_o persection_n be_v obscure_a and_o weak_a but_o our_o sense_n cause_v we_o very_o distinct_o to_o feel_v his_o benefit_n and_o therefore_o all_o our_o affection_n shall_v ascend_v towards_o he_o when_o his_o sun_n shine_v full_a upon_o we_o our_o heart_n shall_v open_v at_o his_o come_v smell_v with_o a_o sweet_a savour_n upon_o the_o be_v visit_v with_o his_o comfortable_a beam_n as_o upon_o our_o be_v bring_v from_o the_o grave_a and_o restore_v to_o health_n there_o be_v a_o new_a strength_n in_o our_o body_n so_o there_o must_v be_v a_o new_a vigour_n in_o our_o soul_n and_o as_o we_o discover_v a_o very_a great_a earnestness_n in_o our_o petition_n when_o we_o want_v a_o mercy_n so_o there_o aught_o to_o be_v as_o much_o fervour_n in_o acknowledgement_n and_o return_n of_o thanks_o when_o we_o have_v receive_v it_o 3._o after_o we_o be_v deliver_v from_o the_o grave_a we_o ought_v to_o remember_v such_o a_o mercy_n with_o very_o great_a sincerity_n i._n e._n there_o ought_v to_o be_v a_o correspondence_n between_o our_o outward_a expression_n and_o the_o more_o undiscernible_a motion_n of_o our_o heart_n there_o must_v be_v in_o our_o understanding_n a_o high_a esteem_n of_o he_o who_o be_v the_o author_n of_o all_o our_o good_a a_o most_o deliberate_a and_o free_a choice_n of_o he_o as_o our_o happiness_n and_o this_o esteem_n and_o this_o choice_n be_v the_o genuine_a product_n of_o a_o real_a admiration_n there_o be_v nothing_o indeed_o more_o common_a than_o for_o people_n on_o the_o small_a occasion_n to_o say_v i_o thank_v god_n for_o this_o or_o that_o but_o the_o manner_n in_o which_o
i_o may_v but_o i_o have_v have_v no_o rest_n at_o all_o then_o nor_o the_o next_o nor_o the_o next_o scarce_o any_o discernible_a sleep_n i_o be_o sure_a none_o that_o be_v refresh_v for_o above_o three_o quarter_n of_o a_o year_n together_o and_o if_o at_o any_o time_n i_o rest_v a_o little_a that_o little_a rest_n be_v all_o the_o while_n disturb_v with_o terrible_a and_o amaze_a dream_n and_o when_o i_o awake_v i_o always_o find_v myself_o in_o strange_a and_o unexpressible_a pain_n in_o anguish_n and_o bitterness_n such_o as_o nothing_o in_o this_o world_n be_v able_a to_o represent_v even_o as_o to_o its_o low_a degree_n and_o judge_v you_o into_o what_o confusion_n and_o disorder_n this_o alone_a will_v throw_v a_o man_n if_o it_o be_v single_a my_o disease_n and_o my_o fear_n and_o sad_a apprehension_n come_v upon_o i_o as_o a_o whirlwind_n like_o the_o rush_n of_o many_o mighty_a water_n strange_a and_o horrible_a pain_n and_o great_a fear_n so_o that_o it_o be_v as_o a_o universal_a storm_n from_o which_o there_o be_v no_o retreat_n i_o say_v with_o hezekiah_n isa._n 38._o 12_o 13._o my_o age_n be_v depart_v and_o be_v remove_v from_o i_o as_o a_o shepherd_n tent_n i_o have_v cut_v off_o like_o a_o weaver_n my_o life_n he_o will_v cut_v i_o off_o with_o pine_a sickness_n from_o day_n even_o to_o night_n will_v thou_o make_v a_o end_n of_o i_o i_o reckon_v till_o morning_n that_o as_o a_o lion_n so_o will_v he_o break_v all_o my_o bone_n from_o day_n even_o to_o night_n will_v thou_o make_v a_o end_n of_o i_o i_o be_v continual_o full_a of_o restless_a pain_n and_o amaze_a thought_n i_o often_o say_v i_o be_o now_o cut_v off_o i_o be_o come_v to_o the_o end_n of_o my_o journey_n i_o be_o go_v to_o the_o grave_a there_o be_v but_o a_o step_v but_o a_o minute_n as_o it_o be_v between_o i_o and_o death_n nay_o how_o often_o have_v i_o be_v by_o most_o terrible_a convulsion_n in_o the_o very_a jaw_n of_o death_n they_o be_v to_o i_o as_o a_o den_n of_o lion_n and_o be_v as_o painful_a and_o as_o terrible_a as_o if_o a_o man_n be_v actual_o tear_v to_o piece_n and_o in_o all_o these_o not_o the_o least_o help_n nor_o prospect_n of_o relief_n and_o these_o return_v every_o day_n for_o many_o week_n or_o rather_o one_o continue_v convulsion-fit_a and_o that_o always_o with_o a_o very_a quick_a and_o cut_a pain_n it_o never_o come_v upon_o i_o but_o as_o a_o giant_n or_o a_o arm_a man_n and_o whenever_o that_o be_v i_o think_v myself_o in_o the_o very_a moment_n of_o my_o separation_n from_o the_o body_n i_o think_v myself_o very_o often_o just_a go_v to_o the_o bar_n of_o god_n i_o be_v in_o death_n often_o often_o as_o in_o the_o very_a agony_n and_o pang_n of_o death_n but_o i_o can_v not_o die_v i_o seem_v to_o have_v the_o strength_n of_o brass_n it_o seem_v to_o i_o as_o if_o i_o have_v be_v raise_v up_o by_o almighty_a power_n only_o that_o i_o may_v be_v capable_a to_o suffer_v pain_n very_o strange_a and_o very_a terrible_a i_o sink_v as_o in_o the_o deep_a mire_n psal._n 69._o 2._o i_o see_v indeed_o sometime_o the_o light_n of_o day_n but_o it_o be_v never_o refresh_v nor_o comfortable_a to_o i_o for_o i_o be_v often_o say_v with_o job_n chap._n 3._o 23_o 24._o why_o be_v light_n give_v to_o a_o man_n who_o way_n be_v hide_v and_o who_o god_n have_v hedge_v in_o for_o my_o sigh_v come_v before_o i_o eat_v and_o my_o roar_n be_v pour_v out_o like_o water_n i_o be_v not_o in_o safety_n neither_o have_v i_o rest_v neither_o be_v i_o quiet_a yet_o trouble_n come_v for_o the_o thing_n which_o i_o great_o fear_v be_v come_v upon_o i_o and_o that_o which_o i_o be_v afraid_a of_o be_v come_v unto_o i_o i_o often_o say_v i_o shall_v never_o see_v the_o world_n till_o it_o be_v in_o flame_n never_o see_v my_o friend_n or_o acquaintance_n nor_o they_o i_o till_o the_o heaven_n be_v no_o more_o and_o till_o the_o vast_a appearance_n of_o the_o great_a day_n thus_o my_o foot_n stumble_v on_o the_o dark_a mountain_n and_o all_o be_v hideous_a darkness_n woe_n and_o desolation_n with_o i_o sometime_o by_o the_o greatness_n of_o my_o trouble_n i_o be_v even_o stifle_v with_o grief_n that_o i_o can_v not_o for_o a_o great_a while_n speak_v a_o word_n and_o when_o i_o speak_v it_o be_v in_o a_o mournful_a manner_n for_o many_o month_n i_o can_v not_o breath_n without_o a_o mighty_a pain_n and_o as_o soon_o as_o with_o difficulty_n i_o have_v breathe_v every_o breath_n be_v turn_v into_o a_o groan_n and_o every_o groan_n be_v big_a with_o a_o very_a deep_a sorrow_n i_o be_v weary_a with_o my_o groan_a psal._n 6._o 6._o all_o the_o night_n make_v i_o my_o bed_n to_o swim_v and_o water_v my_o couch_n with_o tear_n nay_o the_o sadness_n and_o the_o sting_a particularity_n that_o i_o apprehend_v in_o my_o afflict_a case_n make_v i_o to_o weep_v even_o till_o i_o have_v no_o more_o power_n to_o weep_v psal._n 88_o 3._o my_o soul_n be_v full_a of_o trouble_n and_o my_o life_n draw_v nigh_o to_o the_o grave_a etc._n etc._n i_o see_v the_o grave_a as_o beneath_o i_o continual_o open_v to_o swallow_v i_o up_o i_o often_o say_v in_o my_o self_n i_o shall_v no_o more_o see_v the_o congregation_n or_o assembly_n of_o god's-people_n i_o shall_v never_o any_o more_o enter_v into_o his_o court_n nor_o sing_v his_o praise_n i_o shall_v no_o more_o speak_v in_o his_o name_n nor_o experience_n his_o lovingkindness_n in_o the_o land_n of_o the_o live_v any_o more_o these_o be_v some_o of_o my_o thought_n and_o this_o be_v my_o inexcusable_a infirmity_n and_o my_o unbelief_n those_o that_o be_v in_o health_n will_v scarce_o perhaps_o credit_v what_o i_o say_v they_o will_v think_v i_o be_o a_o melancholy_a man_n and_o aggravate_v my_o trouble_n and_o set_v it_o out_o more_o than_o needs_o or_o than_o it_o be_v and_o that_o in_o the_o whole_a there_o be_v a_o great_a deal_n more_o of_o fancy_n than_o of_o reality_n but_o i_o pray_v god_n they_o may_v never_o taste_v one_o drop_n of_o that_o bitter_a cup_n whereof_o i_o be_v make_v to_o drink_v for_o if_o they_o shall_v they_o will_v find_v it_o whatever_o name_n they_o now_o give_v it_o to_o be_v then_o full_a of_o real_a misery_n as_o i_o have_v speak_v nothing_o but_o what_o i_o full_o believe_v to_o be_v true_a so_o i_o have_v speak_v the_o more_o of_o it_o that_o it_o may_v be_v of_o some_o use_n to_o other_o that_o though_o trouble_v and_o distress_n fall_v upon_o they_o which_o be_v very_o strange_a and_o very_a perplex_v or_o such_o as_o rare_o happen_v that_o they_o will_v hope_v even_o in_o the_o depth_n for_o they_o may_v see_v by_o i_o that_o nothing_o be_v too_o hard_a for_o god_n there_o be_v few_o that_o have_v be_v so_o near_o to_o death_n revive_v again_o few_o that_o have_v be_v near_o it_o so_o long_o together_o and_o few_o that_o after_o they_o have_v recover_v be_v willing_a to_o speak_v of_o what_o they_o then_o see_v and_o feel_v but_o methinks_v it_o be_v not_o unnecessary_a to_o show_v to_o what_o woeful_a misery_n we_o be_v obnoxious_a in_o this_o world_n and_o how_o many_o way_n god_n have_v wherewith_o to_o correct_v and_o punish_v the_o sin_n of_o men._n most_o people_n be_v unwilling_a to_o speak_v of_o such_o thing_n as_o these_o because_o other_o be_v unwilling_a to_o hear_v such_o doleful_a relation_n they_o invent_v some_o other_o discourse_n to_o put_v it_o off_o but_o their_o hear_n of_o it_o be_v better_a than_o to_o feel_v it_o and_o this_o may_v help_v they_o to_o avoid_v manifold_a mischief_n before_o it_o be_v too_o late_o you_o think_v it_o may_v be_v that_o i_o have_v speak_v a_o great_a deal_n and_o your_o attention_n may_v be_v weary_v but_o i'lassure_v it_o be_v many_o hundred_o time_n below_o what_o i_o feel_v great_a grief_n as_o well_o as_o mighty_a joy_n exceed_v all_o our_o word_n and_o bitterness_n be_v not_o to_o be_v describe_v never_o be_v any_o i_o believe_v near_o to_o death_n not_o to_o die_v never_o be_v any_o compass_v with_o a_o great_a danger_n never_o any_o have_v less_o hope_n of_o a_o escape_n than_o i_o and_o yet_o the_o mercy_n of_o a_o god_n that_o be_v omnipotent_a have_v relieve_v i_o and_o as_o it_o be_v common_o say_v that_o music_n sound_v best_a upon_o the_o water_n so_o by_o set_v our_o sorrow_n and_o our_o mercy_n together_o our_o praise_n may_v be_v more_o harmonious_a you_o may_v in_o this_o behold_v the_o severity_n and_o the_o goodness_n of_o god_n his_o severity_n in_o continue_v on_o i_o so_o many_o smart_a stroke_n for_o so_o long_a a_o space_n and_o his_o goodness_n
humble_a we_o for_o our_o former_a sin_n and_o direct_v we_o what_o to_o do_v for_o the_o time_n to_o come_v that_o our_o speech_n our_o conversation_n may_v be_v more_o profitable_a than_o it_o have_v be_v 1_o cor._n 15._o 58._o eccl._n 9_o 10._o four_o let_v we_o live_v so_o that_o our_o example_n may_v do_v good_a whilst_o we_o live_v and_o when_o we_o be_v dead_a for_o every_o man_n that_o have_v the_o spirit_n of_o christianity_n i._n e._n a_o generous_a and_o a_o public_a spirit_n will_v not_o only_o be_v concern_v for_o himself_o but_o for_o other_o and_o not_o only_o for_o the_o present_a but_o for_o the_o future_a generation_n and_o as_o in_o this_o luxurious_a and_o most_o wicked_a age_n of_o we_o there_o be_v like_a to_o be_v transmit_v to_o posterity_n a_o great_a number_n of_o very_o bad_a example_n so_o it_o shall_v be_v the_o care_n and_o endeavour_v of_o every_o good_a man_n to_o prevent_v their_o mischievous_a influence_n by_o do_v what_o in_o he_o lie_v to_o mend_v 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