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in_o the_o exercise_n of_o bounty_n her_o compassion_n be_v most_o eminent_a to_o ward_o the_o relief_n of_o all_o creature_n in_o misery_n &_o so_o especial_o be_v her_o solicitude_n to_o consolate_v &_o regale_n all_o such_o in_o all_o occasion_n as_o be_v entrust_v to_o her_o care_n while_o yet_o she_o will_v needs_o be_v unkind_a and_o even_o as_o it_o be_v cruel_a to_o herself_o alone_o above_o all_o thing_n she_o be_v a_o most_o perfect_a lover_n of_o truth_n &_o so_o full_a of_o matchless_a candour_n &_o sincerity_n in_o all_o expression_n &_o upon_o all_o occasion_n that_o she_o will_v no_o more_o have_v even_o so_o much_o as_o but_z disguised_z it_o and_o much_o less_o vary_a from_o it_o in_o the_o least_o kind_n especial_o when_o the_o question_n have_v any_o way_n concern_v she_o own_o advantage_n than_o she_o will_v have_v sell_v herself_o for_o a_o slave_n these_o i_o say_v be_v the_o condition_n of_o this_o admirable_a creature_n and_o these_o be_v the_o part_n of_o her_o mind_n which_o yet_o i_o consider_v but_o in_o the_o nature_n of_o fruit_n but_o they_o grow_v from_o these_o root_n which_o follow_v a_o most_o profound_a humility_n a_o most_o inviolable_a chastity_n a_o most_o strict_a love_n of_o poverty_n a_o most_o unshake_a and_o invincible_a patience_n in_o despite_n of_o sharp_a sickness_n torment_v pain_n and_o endless_a persecution_n a_o most_o ardent_a and_o inflame_a charity_n both_o towards_o god_n &_o man_n which_o breed_v a_o eager_a and_o insatiable_a appetite_n to_o win_v soul_n a_o undaunted_a fortitude_n &_o high_a courage_n and_o that_o no_o less_o in_o the_o endeavour_v great_a thing_n then_o in_o the_o suffer_a hard_a thing_n a_o constant_a continual_a supernatural_a &_o most_o elevate_v course_n of_o prayer_n and_o contemplation_n such_o a_o kind_n of_o excellent_a creature_n be_v this_o but_o yet_o when_o i_o overlook_v the_o little_a which_o i_o have_v here_o set_v down_o i_o confess_v it_o seem_v at_o the_o first_o even_o in_o my_o own_o eye_n to_o be_v a_o very_a extraordinary_a elogium_fw-la of_o her_o virtue_n and_o part_n and_o as_o if_o it_o may_v perhaps_o have_v have_v more_o in_o it_o of_o the_o panegyric_n then_o of_o a_o just_a praise_n and_o therefore_o before_o i_o will_v give_v it_o passage_n to_o the_o print_n i_o look_v attentive_o back_o upon_o what_o i_o have_v read_v of_o she_o concern_v her_o resolution_n and_o heroical_a action_n record_v in_o authentical_a manner_n by_o diverse_a grave_n and_o wise_a author_n and_o in_o several_a place_n also_o of_o her_o own_o work_n and_o particular_o upon_o what_o be_v deliver_v by_o father_n ribera_n in_o the_o historical_a relation_n of_o her_o whole_a life_n but_o when_o i_o come_v back_o from_o thence_o &_o compare_v that_o kind_n of_o descant_n with_o my_o plainsong_n concern_v the_o saint_n i_o find_v myself_o to_o have_v rather_o fall_v much_o too_o short_a then_o to_o have_v any_o way_n overshort_a in_o this_o kind_n and_o that_o the_o 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we_o shall_v consider_v they_o in_o the_o natural_a or_o supernatural_a way_n it_o be_v more_o than_o i_o have_v be_v able_a to_o know_v either_o by_o read_v or_o else_o by_o discourse_n &_o yet_o i_o have_v be_v careful_a enough_o to_o inquire_v but_o now_o the_o certainty_n of_o this_o truth_n will_v yet_o even_o further_o appear_v when_o i_o shall_v tell_v you_o that_o which_o follow_v and_o it_o be_v that_o when_o the_o saint_n make_v observation_n &_o have_v experience_n of_o the_o world_n be_v great_a frailty_n and_o less_o perfection_n and_o that_o the_o religious_a order_n and_o house_n where_o she_o have_v enter_v have_v obtain_v certain_a relaxation_n and_o dispensation_n from_o diverse_a strict_a clause_n and_o condition_n of_o the_o first_o institute_n and_o when_o she_o have_v also_o meet_v with_o some_o custom_n through_o which_o even_o herself_o have_v receive_v disadvantage_n by_o dissipation_n and_o diminution_n of_o spirit_n as_o namely_o in_o regard_n of_o great_a &_o public_a resort_n to_o the_o house_n and_o a_o multitude_n of_o unnecessary_a conversation_n and_o especial_o for_o that_o they_o be_v not_o bind_v to_o continual_a clausure_n but_o have_v liberty_n to_o go_v abroad_o though_o yet_o only_o by_o leave_n of_o their_o superior_n to_o visit_v their_o parent_n and_o near_a kindred_n at_o some_o time_n she_o grow_v into_o a_o full_a resolution_n that_o if_o ever_o it_o shall_v be_v in_o her_o power_n to_o free_v herself_o from_o that_o course_n and_o to_o set_v more_o limit_v bound_n upon_o her_o way_n and_o to_o invite_v other_o also_o by_o her_o example_n to_o express_v their_o great_a desire_n to_o gain_v and_o perfect_a soul_n she_o will_v not_o fail_v to_o put_v that_o purpose_n of_o she_o in_o execution_n and_o so_o after_o the_o expire_a of_o some_o time_n &_o the_o encounter_v of_o many_o impediment_n and_o the_o overcome_v a_o world_n of_o difficulty_n she_o grow_v to_o express_v her_o love_n to_o our_o b_o lord_n but_o in_o the_o person_n of_o such_o creature_n as_o for_o who_o he_o die_v to_o such_o a_o proportion_n and_o in_o so_o high_a a_o kind_n as_o to_o project_v and_o perfect_a so_o great_a and_o hard_o a_o work_n as_o that_o perhaps_o no_o woman_n will_v be_v see_v to_o have_v ever_o procure_v and_o perform_v the_o like_a for_o to_o reform_v a_o religious_a order_n and_o to_o reduce_v it_o to_o the_o first_o strict_a institute_n be_v a_o matter_n of_o much_o more_o difficulty_n then_o to_o find_v one_o and_o for_o a_o woman_n who_o be_v of_o no_o absolute_a power_n to_o command_v to_o pass_v through_o so_o many_o impediment_n and_o to_o win_v the_o prize_n and_o to_o adorn_v even_o that_o original_a rule_n itself_o with_o so_o many_o holy_a and_o wise_a document_n and_o constitution_n of_o her_o own_o for_o the_o raise_n and_o true_a refine_n of_o spirit_n according_a to_o the_o necessity_n and_o exigence_n of_o those_o present_a most_o deprave_a time_n make_v the_o business_n become_v yet_o more_o hard_a and_o strange_a on_o the_o one_o side_n and_o more_o useful_a also_o &_o more_o excellent_a on_o the_o other_o for_o as_o i_o conceive_v it_o to_o be_v a_o truth_n that_o there_o be_v no_o one_o approve_a order_n of_o religious_a people_n in_o the_o holy_a catholic_a church_n which_o be_v not_o of_o the_o best_a of_o all_o other_o in_o that_o way_n of_o spirit_n for_o which_o it_o be_v chief_o institute_v by_o almighty_a god_n and_o especial_o for_o those_o time_n in_o which_o it_o be_v institute_v so_o be_v it_o not_o only_a piety_n but_o even_o prudence_n also_o to_o believe_v that_o since_o this_o bless_a woman_n be_v stirred-up_a by_o god_n holy_a spirit_n in_o this_o age_n of_o we_o for_o the_o redress_n of_o our_o modern_a great_a disorder_n that_o his_o divine_a majesty_n
be_v able_a to_o suffer_v the_o difficulty_n and_o trouble_n of_o a_o religious_a life_n because_o former_o i_o have_v be_v use_v so_o delicate_o and_o be_v so_o nice_a but_o yet_o against_o this_o also_o i_o defend_v myself_o as_o well_o as_o i_o can_v by_o the_o affliction_n which_o christ_n our_o lord_n endure_v for_o i_o and_o that_o so_o it_o will_v not_o be_v much_o for_o i_o to_o endure_v some_o for_o he_o i_o ought_v also_o to_o have_v consider_v that_o he_o will_v give_v i_o help_v to_o bear_v they_o yet_o i_o remember_v not_o whether_o i_o have_v this_o last_o consideration_n or_o no_o but_o i_o be_o sure_a i_o have_v temptation_n enough_o about_o that_o time_n i_o then_o also_o grow_v to_o have_v great_a fit_n of_o faint_a by_o a_o burn_a fever_n into_o which_o i_o fall_v for_o i_o always_o have_v little_a health_n but_o it_o give_v i_o even_o my_o life_n at_o that_o time_n that_o already_o i_o be_v grow_v to_o love_v good_a book_n and_o so_o i_o come_v to_o read_v the_o epistle_n of_o s._n jerome_n which_o help_v i_o to_o such_o hart_n and_o courage_n as_o to_o make_v i_o resolve_v that_o i_o will_v impart_v my_o purpose_n to_o my_o father_n which_o in_o effect_n be_v even_o as_o much_o for_o i_o as_o to_o take_v the_o very_a habit_n upon_o i_o for_o i_o be_v ever_o so_o affect_v to_o maintain_v the_o point_n of_o honour_n that_o i_o think_v i_o can_v never_o have_v turn_v back_o again_o upon_o any_o term_n when_o i_o have_v first_o engage_v myself_o by_o speak_v any_o one_o word_n to_o the_o contrary_n but_o he_o love_v i_o to_o so_o strange_a a_o proportion_n that_o by_o no_o mean_n i_o can_v win_v his_o consent_n nor_o be_v the_o intercession_n of_o such_o person_n as_o i_o procure_v to_o move_v he_o in_o order_n to_o my_o end_n of_o any_o power_n at_o all_o to_o prevail_v the_o most_o that_o i_o can_v get_v at_o his_o hand_n be_v that_o when_o he_o shall_v be_v dead_a i_o may_v do_v what_o i_o list_v with_o myself_o but_o as_o for_o i_o i_o be_v 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soever_o upon_o which_o if_o it_o be_v set_v before_o i_o i_o shall_v not_o have_v venture_v to_o attempt_v for_o i_o have_v already_o good_a experience_n of_o thing_n enough_o to_o assure_v i_o that_o since_o god_n do_v help_v i_o in_o the_o beginning_n to_o resolve_v to_o do_v such_o thing_n as_o these_o which_o be_v only_o do_v for_o the_o love_n of_o god_n he_o ordain_v for_o our_o great_a merit_n afterward_o that_o our_o soul_n shall_v be_v in_o some_o trouble_n and_o terror_n at_o the_o first_o and_o the_o great_a that_o trouble_n be_v the_o great_a and_o the_o more_o savoury_a also_o will_v the_o reward_n thereof_o fall_v out_o to_o be_v if_o we_o go_v through_o with_o the_o business_n his_o majesty_n will_v also_o be_v please_v to_o recompense_v they_o high_o well_o even_o in_o this_o life_n by_o such_o way_n as_o he_o only_o who_o enjoy_v they_o can_v understand_v this_o i_o say_v i_o have_v find_v true_a by_o experience_n in_o many_o particular_n of_o great_a moment_n and_o 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continue_v to_o remain_v in_o a_o very_a inferior_a degree_n in_o this_o way_n nor_o never_o also_o any_o one_o cowardly_a soul_n though_o yet_o withal_o it_o have_v the_o safeguard_n of_o humility_n which_o be_v able_a to_o make_v so_o much_o way_n in_o many_o year_n as_o i_o have_v find_v those_o other_o do_v in_o very_a few_o i_o be_o even_o amaze_v when_o i_o consider_v how_o much_o it_o work_v in_o this_o kind_n for_o one_o to_o animate_v himself_o towards_o the_o do_n of_o great_a thing_n though_o instant_o he_o may_v perhaps_o not_o have_v force_n where_o with_o to_o perform_v for_o the_o soul_n put_v herself_o to_o make_v a_o flight_n and_o arrive_v to_o be_v in_o a_o high_a place_n though_o yet_o like_o some_o young_a bird_n she_o be_v not_o so_o well_o feather_v yet_o and_o therefore_o as_o be_v weary_a she_o can_v but_o pause_v and_o hover_v in_o former_a time_n i_o often_o remember_v and_o consider_v what_o s._n paul_n affirm_v of_o himself_o namely_o that_o he_o can_v do_v 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way_n and_o in_o disorder_n almighty_a god_n vouchsafe_v to_o recollect_v they_o again_o to_o himself_o by_o little_a and_o little_a and_o now_o let_v we_o come_v to_o the_o interior_a of_o that_o which_o the_o soul_n be_v wont_a to_o feel_v at_o these_o time_n and_o let_v they_o declare_v it_o who_o know_v how_o since_o it_o can_v be_v well_o understand_v and_o much_o less_o express_v i_o be_v think_v when_o i_o dispose_v myself_o to_o write_v this_o as_o soon_o as_o i_o have_v receive_v the_o b._n sacrament_n and_o after_o the_o end_n of_o this_o very_a kind_n of_o prayer_n which_o now_o i_o write_v of_o what_o the_o
by_o those_o beam_n you_o will_v find_v it_o to_o be_v all_o full_a of_o moat_n this_o comparison_n be_v very_o literal_o true_a for_o before_o the_o soul_n be_v in_o this_o extasis_fw-la she_o conceive_v herself_o to_o have_v be_v very_o careful_a not_o to_o offend_v almighty_a god_n &_o that_o she_o perform_v it_o according_a to_o the_o uttermost_a of_o her_o power_n but_o yet_o be_v come_v once_o so_o far_o as_o that_o this_o sun_n of_o justice_n shine_v upon_o she_o which_o make_v her_o open_a her_o eye_n she_o than_o see_v so_o many_o moat_n therein_o that_o she_o will_v be_v glad_a if_o she_o can_v tell_v how_o to_o shut_v they_o again_o for_o she_o be_v not_o yet_o become_v so_o true_a a_o eaglet_n of_o this_o swift_a and_o strong_a eagle_n which_o breed_v she_o as_o that_o she_o can_v be_v able_a to_o look_v earnest_o upon_o this_o sun_n but_o how_o little_a soever_o she_o chance_v to_o hold_v they_o open_a she_o see_v herself_o all_o impure_a and_o call_v that_o verse_n to_o mind_n which_o say_v who_o shall_v ever_o be_v just_a in_o thy_o presence_n when_o once_o she_o behold_v this_o divine_a sun_n her_o sight_n be_v dazzle_v by_o the_o brightness_n of_o it_o but_o when_o she_o look_v in_o upon_o herself_o her_o eye_n be_v stop_v up_o with_o clay_n and_o so_o this_o poor_a dove_n be_v blind_a yea_o and_o it_o happen_v many_o time_n that_o she_o also_o remain_v blind_a for_o good_a and_o all_o as_o be_v absorb_v amaze_a and_o as_o it_o be_v out_o of_o her_o wit_n with_o so_o many_o mighty_a greatness_n as_o she_o be_v then_o grow_v to_o see_v heer_n final_o be_v true_a humility_n acquire_v not_o care_v any_o way_n at_o all_o either_o to_o speak_v well_o of_o herself_o or_o yet_o that_o other_o shall_v do_v it_o and_o our_o lord_n divide_v and_o dispose_v of_o the_o fruit_n of_o this_o garden_n not_o she_o and_o so_o there_o stick_v nothing_o of_o it_o to_o her_o finger_n all_o the_o good_a which_o she_o have_v go_v on_o as_o still_o address_v to_o 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be_v here_o no_o more_o now_o any_o need_n that_o the_o soul_n shall_v give_v any_o new_a consent_n since_o already_o she_o have_v give_v it_o all_o and_o know_v that_o she_o have_v voluntary_o deliver_v herself_o whole_o up_o into_o his_o hand_n and_o that_o she_o can_v deceive_v he_o who_o be_v the_o knower_n of_o all_o thing_n for_o it_o be_v not_o as_o thing_n pass_v here_o in_o this_o world_n where_o all_o this_o life_n of_o we_o be_v full_a of_o nothing_o but_o duplicity_n and_o deceit_n and_o when_o you_o think_v you_o have_v full_o get_v the_o good_a will_n of_o any_o creature_n by_o the_o show_n he_o make_v you_o quick_o come_v to_o understand_v that_o all_o be_v trick_n and_o lie_v and_o that_o no_o body_n can_v tell_v how_o to_o live_v in_o a_o world_n of_o so_o much_o odd_a business_n especial_o if_o there_o be_v any_o little_a interest_n of_o the_o party_n but_o bless_a be_v that_o soul_n which_o our_o lord_n come_v once_o to_o draw_v to_o the_o knowledge_n of_o such_o thing_n as_o be_v real_a truth_n o_o what_o a_o condition_n and_o fortune_n be_v this_o for_o king_n and_o how_o much_o will_v it_o import_v they_o more_o to_o gain_v this_o great_a advantage_n then_o to_o get_v large_a dominion_n and_o state_n what_o rectitude_n will_v there_o be_v find_v in_o the_o kingdom_n how_o many_o mischief_n will_v have_v be_v forbear_v already_o &_o will_v also_o be_v forbear_v hereafter_o for_o here_o there_o be_v no_o fear_n of_o lose_v life_n or_o honour_n for_o the_o love_n of_o almighty_a god_n but_o rather_o such_o loss_n as_o these_o will_v go_v for_o a_o great_a blessing_n among_o such_o as_o find_v thenfelue_n carry_v another_o manner_n of_o respect_n to_o the_o honour_n of_o our_o lord_n then_o to_o all_o they_o to_o who_o they_o be_v less_o oblige_v for_o king_n be_v the_o man_n who_o those_o other_o follow_v and_o in_o this_o case_n these_o king_n will_v loose_v a_o thousand_o kingdom_n and_o they_o will_v have_v great_a reason_n to_o be_v glad_a to_o do_v so_o rather_o they_o to_o loose_v the_o mean_n of_o make_v one_o step_n further_o towards_o the_o augmentation_n of_o the_o holy_a catholic_n faith_n or_o the_o procute_n some_o light_n for_o heretic_n for_o it_o be_v another_o manner_n of_o business_n to_o purchase_v and_o get_v such_o a_o kind_n of_o kingdom_n as_o will_v never_o end_v and_o what_o soul_n soever_o shall_v come_v to_o taste_v but_o one_o single_a drop_n of_o this_o water_n all_o the_o rest_n of_o this_o whole_a world_n will_v be_v but_o fit_a even_o to_o turn_v the_o stomach_n but_o now_o if_o the_o soul_n of_o such_o a_o person_n shall_v fall_v out_o to_o be_v once_o ingulf_v into_o this_o water_n what_o strange_a effect_n will_v it_o produce_v dear_a lord_n if_o thou_o shall_v draw_v i_o to_o such_o a_o condition_n as_o that_o i_o may_v be_v able_a to_o publish_v this_o truth_n with_o a_o loud_a voice_n they_o will_v yet_o believe_v i_o no_o more_o than_o they_o do_v other_o who_o know_v how_o to_o publish_v the_o same_o after_o a_o much_o better_a manner_n but_o yet_o at_o least_o i_o shall_v give_v satisfaction_n to_o myself_o and_o i_o think_v i_o shall_v esteem_v even_o my_o very_a life_n but_o at_o a_o little_a rate_n upon_o condition_n that_o i_o may_v be_v able_a to_o give_v but_o some_o one_o of_o these_o single_a truth_n to_o be_v well_o understand_v and_o yet_o i_o know_v not_o what_o i_o shall_v be_v able_a to_o do_v with_o myself_o afterward_o for_o there_o be_v no_o trust_n at_o all_o to_o be_v have_v in_o i_o i_o be_v that_o miserable_a creature_n which_o i_o be_o yet_o still_o i_o have_v so_o great_a impulse_n to_o utter_v and_o declare_v these_o thing_n to_o such_o as_o be_v in_o authority_n and_o command_v that_o i_o think_v they_o do_v even_o annihilate_v and_o consume_v i_o and_o yet_o now_o since_o i_o can_v do_v no_o more_o i_o return_v o_o my_o lord_n towards_o thou_o to_o seek_v remedy_n for_o all_o inconvenience_n for_o thou_o o_o my_o lord_n know_v well_o how_o high_o glad_a i_o will_v be_v to_o dispossess_v myself_o even_o of_o all_o these_o very_a favour_n which_o of_o thy_o goodness_n thou_o have_v vouchsafe_v to_o do_v i_o provide_v always_o that_o i_o may_v still_o remain_v in_o condition_n never_o to_o offend_v thou_o more_o and_o to_o resign_v they_o up_o to_o king_n king_n and_o prince_n for_o then_o it_o be_v very_o certain_a that_o it_o will_v be_v whole_o impossible_a for_o they_o either_o to_o permit_v that_o those_o thing_n shall_v be_v do_v which_o be_v permit_v or_o yet_o that_o they_o shall_v fail_v to_o receive_v extraordinary_a blessing_n at_o thy_o hand_n o_o make_v they_o my_o god_n understand_v to_o how_o much_o they_o be_v oblige_v since_o thou_o be_v please_v by_o what_o i_o have_v hear_v to_o honour_v they_o in_o such_o sort_n upon_o earth_n as_o that_o when_o thou_o take_v any_o of_o they_o away_o there_o be_v some_o kind_n of_o star_n signification_n thereof_o even_o in_o the_o heaven_n and_o when_o i_o think_v of_o this_o it_o breed_v a_o kind_n of_o devotion_n in_o i_o that_o thou_o o_o my_o king_n may_v be_v please_v to_o make_v they_o even_o hereby_o understand_v that_o they_o ought_v to_o imitate_v thou_o in_o their_o life_n since_o there_o grow_v in_o some_o sort_n to_o be_v certain_a appearance_n and_o sign_n in_o heaven_n at_o their_o death_n as_o there_o be_v when_o even_o thyself_o come_v to_o die_v i_o see_v well_o that_o i_o be_o presume_v very_o far_o but_o i_o beseech_v your_o reverence_n tear_v it_o if_o you_o mislike_v it_o and_o believe_v that_o i_o will_v be_v glad_a to_o speak_v it_o better_o if_o i_o be_v present_a
of_o my_o soul_n and_o my_o good_a thou_o christ_n our_o lord_n who_o be_v crucify_a i_o never_o call_v to_o mind_v the_o opinion_n which_o i_o entertain_v in_o this_o case_n but_o i_o be_o afflict_v by_o it_o for_o i_o conceive_v myself_o to_o have_v commit_v a_o huge_a treason_n therein_o against_o thou_o though_o yet_o my_o ignorance_n may_v peradventure_o have_v be_v some_o excuse_n i_o have_v be_v so_o particular_o devote_a to_o the_o person_n of_o christ_n our_o lord_n throughout_o the_o whole_a course_n of_o my_o life_n for_o this_o other_o proceed_v of_o i_o occur_v in_o the_o very_a latter_a part_n thereof_o i_o say_v in_o the_o very_a latter_a part_n immediate_o before_o our_o bless_a lord_n vouchsafe_v i_o those_o favour_n of_o rapt_n and_o vision_n i_o continue_v a_o very_a little_a while_n in_o this_o opinion_n and_o so_o i_o ever_o come_v quick_o back_o to_o delight_v myself_o with_o this_o dear_a lord_n of_o i_o and_o especial_o when_o i_o receive_v the_o bless_a sacrament_n i_o ever_o desire_v to_o have_v some_o picture_n of_o he_o in_o my_o eye_n since_o i_o be_v not_o able_a to_o carry_v he_o so_o deep_o engrave_v or_o stamp_v upon_o my_o soul_n as_o i_o can_v have_v wish_v but_o be_v it_o possible_a o_o my_o dear_a lord_n that_o ever_o any_o such_o thought_n as_o this_o shall_v be_v able_a to_o get_v in_o to_o my_o hart_n even_o for_o one_o single_a hour_n as_o that_o thou_o be_v to_o have_v be_v able_a to_o hinder_v my_o obtain_v my_o great_a good_n alas_o from_o whence_o come_v all_o the_o benediction_n and_o benefit_n which_o ever_o i_o receive_v but_o only_o from_o thou_o but_o i_o will_v not_o so_o much_o as_o think_v that_o real_o i_o be_v faulty_a herein_o but_o rather_o i_o be_o to_o pity_v myself_o for_o that_o which_o certain_o proceed_v from_o ignorance_n in_o i_o and_o so_o thou_o do_v vouchsafe_v through_o thy_o goodness_n to_o redress_v and_o assist_v i_o by_o help_v i_o to_o one_o afterward_o who_o may_v deliver_v i_o out_o of_o this_o error_n and_o beside_o also_o by_o make_v i_o able_a to_o see_v thou_o so_o often_o vision_n as_o i_o shall_v declare_v hereafter_o that_o so_o i_o may_v the_o more_o clear_o understand_v how_o great_a that_o ignorance_n of_o i_o be_v and_o final_o to_o the_o end_n that_o i_o may_v publish_v the_o same_o to_o many_o as_o i_o have_v do_v already_o and_o that_o now_o i_o may_v also_o record_v it_o here_o for_o my_o part_n i_o conceive_v that_o the_o reason_n why_o many_o soul_n get_v not_o forward_o in_o the_o way_n of_o profit_n and_o why_o they_o reach_v not_o to_o obtain_v some_o very_a great_a liberty_n of_o spirit_n when_o they_o arrive_v to_o use_v prayer_n of_o union_n be_v this_o very_a thing_n and_o i_o conceive_v that_o there_o be_v two_o reason_n upon_o which_o i_o may_v well_o ground_v this_o opinion_n and_o though_o perhaps_o that_o be_v of_o no_o moment_n which_o i_o be_o go_v to_o utter_v yet_o i_o will_v not_o forbear_v to_o do_v it_o because_o i_o have_v find_v by_o experience_n that_o it_o go_v very_o ill_o with_o my_o soul_n till_o it_o please_v our_o bless_a lord_n to_o give_v i_o light_n for_o all_o those_o joy_n which_o she_o take_v come_v to_o i_o but_o by_o sup_v and_o gulp_v and_o when_o once_o i_o be_v past_o the_o present_a occasion_n i_o find_v not_o myself_o to_o have_v such_o company_n and_o strength_n for_o the_o endure_a of_o tribulation_n and_o temptation_n as_o yet_o i_o meet_v with_o afterward_o but_o one_o of_o these_o reason_n why_o man_n get_v not_o forward_o be_v that_o there_o may_v peradventure_o go_v a_o dram_n of_o some_o certain_a little_a want_n of_o humility_n which_o lie_v hide_v and_o plaster_v over_o in_o such_o sort_n that_o even_o the_o person_n who_o be_v so_o faulty_a may_v perhaps_o not_o so_o very_o easy_o find_v it_o and_o who_o now_o will_v ever_o be_v so_o proud_a and_o wretched_a as_o i_o yea_o and_o that_o when_o he_o shall_v have_v labour_v throughout_o the_o whole_a course_n of_o his_o life_n and_o make_v as_o many_o prayer_n and_o suffer_v as_o many_o pennance_n and_o endure_v as_o many_o persecution_n as_o may_v be_v imagine_v will_v not_o yet_o find_v himself_o rich_a enough_o and_o abundant_o reward_v and_o pay_v for_o they_o all_o when_o our_o lord_n shall_v give_v he_o leave_v to_o remain_v at_o the_o foot_n of_o the_o cross_n with_o s._n john_n nay_o i_o know_v not_o into_o what_o brain_n it_o will_v sink_v but_o i_o not_o to_o be_v content_a with_o such_o a_o felicity_n as_o this_o who_o be_v ever_o a_o loose_a so_o many_o way_n in_o all_o those_o thing_n whereby_o i_o ought_v to_o have_v be_v a_o gainer_n but_o now_o though_o our_o miserable_a frail_a condition_n or_o else_o perhaps_o our_o sickness_n shall_v not_o permit_v we_o to_o be_v always_o reflect_v upon_o the_o passion_n of_o our_o bless_a lord_n yet_o at_o least_o what_o shall_v hinder_v we_o from_o remain_v with_o he_o now_o that_o he_o be_v rise_v again_o to_o glory_n since_o we_o have_v he_o 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one_o moment_n from_o we_o and_o that_o now_o it_o shall_v yet_o have_v be_v in_o i_o to_o part_v from_o thou_o o_o my_o lord_n yea_o and_o this_o that_o i_o may_v serve_v thou_o so_o much_o the_o better_o it_o let_v it_o pass_v my_o dear_a lord_n if_o it_o please_v thou_o that_o when_o i_o sin_v against_o thou_o i_o do_v not_o know_v thou_o but_o that_o now_o when_o i_o come_v to_o know_v thou_o i_o shall_v fancy_v a_o mean_n to_o myself_o of_o grow_v a_o great_a gainer_n by_o this_o way_n o_o what_o a_o ill_a way_n be_v that_o and_o now_o i_o find_v that_o indeed_o i_o have_v utter_o lose_v my_o way_n if_o thou_o o_o lord_n have_v not_o restore_v i_o to_o it_o for_o in_o see_v that_o thou_o be_v near_o i_o i_o have_v see_v that_o i_o have_v all_o good_a thing_n with_o thou_o nor_o do_v i_o ever_o meet_v with_o any_o affliction_n or_o trouble_v but_o as_o soon_o as_o i_o consider_v in_o what_o kind_n of_o miserable_a posture_n thou_o be_v carry_v and_o place_v before_o those_o judge_n 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do_v it_o himself_o as_o indeed_o he_o do_v nor_o yet_o can_v i_o ever_o imagine_v that_o it_o will_v prove_v to_o take_v effect_n with_o i_o as_o yet_o it_o fall_v out_o to_o do_v because_o already_o i_o have_v use_v some_o endeavour_n that_o way_n and_o the_o affliction_n which_o i_o receive_v by_o it_o be_v so_o great_a that_o i_o resolve_v to_o give_v over_o the_o attempt_n as_o be_v a_o thing_n which_o i_o hold_v not_o to_o be_v inconvenient_a to_o continue_v but_o now_o here_o our_o bless_a lord_n impart_v both_o liberty_n and_o strength_n to_o i_o to_o put_v it_o in_o execution_n i_o tell_v this_o very_a thing_n to_o my_o ghostly_a father_n and_o i_o give_v over_o that_o friendship_n according_a to_o what_o i_o have_v be_v command_v and_o it_o do_v they_o no_o little_a good_a with_o who_o i_o have_v be_v wont_a to_o converse_v to_o see_v this_o resolution_n grow_v in_o i_o almighty_a god_n be_v ever_o bless_v and_o praise_v who_o give_v i_o that_o liberty_n and_o power_n in_o 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the_o rectour_n of_o the_o society_n of_o jesus_n who_o i_o mention_v before_o i_o have_v see_v some_o thing_n concern_v great_a favour_n which_o our_o lord_n do_v he_o but_o i_o will_v not_o insert_v they_o here_o for_o fear_v of_o be_v too_o long_o there_o happen_v a_o great_a trouble_n to_o he_o once_o for_o he_o be_v persecute_v and_o find_v himself_o great_o afflict_v and_o i_o hear_v mass_n one_o day_n see_v christ_n our_o lord_n upon_o the_o cross_n just_a then_o when_o the_o priest_n elevate_v the_o sacred_a host_n and_o he_o speak_v certain_a word_n to_o i_o wherewith_o i_o be_v to_o acquaint_v he_o for_o his_o comfort_n and_o other_o also_o he_o speak_v by_o way_n of_o prevention_n of_o some_o future_a inconvenience_n which_o may_v arrive_v and_o he_o represent_v also_o to_o he_o how_o much_o himself_o have_v suffer_v for_o his_o sake_n and_o that_o therefore_o he_o shall_v prepare_v himself_o to_o suffer_v and_o this_o give_v he_o both_o much_o comfort_n and_o much_o courage_n and_o all_o happen_v to_o he_o just_a so_o as_o our_o bless_a lord_n have_v foretell_v of_o the_o religious_a of_o a_o certain_a order_n yea_o and_o of_o that_o whole_a order_n together_o i_o have_v see_v great_a thing_n for_o i_o have_v see_v they_o sometime_o in_o heaven_n with_o white_a banner_n in_o their_o hand_n &_o i_o have_v see_v as_o i_o be_v say_v other_o thing_n of_o great_a admiration_n and_o according_o i_o have_v this_o order_n in_o much_o veneration_n for_o i_o have_v treat_v and_o communicate_v with_o they_o much_o and_o i_o see_v that_o their_o life_n be_v agreeable_a to_o that_o which_o our_o bless_a lord_n have_v give_v i_o to_o understand_v concern_v they_o i_o be_v one_o night_n in_o prayer_n our_o lord_n begin_v to_o utter_v some_o word_n to_o i_o which_o bring_v i_o to_o remember_v how_o wicked_a my_o life_n have_v be_v and_o they_o give_v i_o confusion_n and_o pain_n enough_o for_o although_o they_o import_v not_o any_o rigour_n yet_o they_o endue_v i_o with_o such_o a_o tender_a kind_n of_o feeling_n and_o grief_n that_o the_o soul_n be_v even_o dissolve_v by_o it_o and_o we_o use_v in_o such_o case_n to_o find_v more_o benefit_n in_o the_o way_n of_o know_v out_o self_n by_o some_o one_o such_o word_n as_o these_o than_o we_o be_v able_a to_o acquire_v in_o many_o day_n by_o our_o own_o consideration_n of_o our_o misery_n for_o it_o bring_v such_o a_o truth_n to_o be_v even_o engrave_v in_o our_o soul_n as_o we_o can_v possible_o deny_v he_o represent_v to_o i_o also_o those_o inclination_n of_o i_o which_o i_o have_v former_o entertain_v towards_o creature_n with_o so_o much_o vanity_n and_o tell_v i_o that_o i_o be_v to_o put_v a_o great_a value_n upon_o the_o desire_n which_o he_o have_v that_o i_o will_v lodge_v all_o my_o affection_n upon_o he_o which_o former_o i_o have_v employ_v so_o ill_o since_o he_o will_v accept_v thereof_o at_o other_o time_n he_o bid_v i_o remember_v that_o former_o i_o have_v sometime_o esteem_v 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also_o consider_v that_o i_o have_v do_v no_o good_a thing_n late_o which_o may_v even_o in_o my_o opinion_n deserve_v his_o favour_n i_o begin_v to_o consider_v a_o while_n whether_o he_o may_v not_o perhaps_o intend_v some_o new_a expression_n of_o goodness_n to_o i_o because_o whensoever_o i_o find_v myself_o receive_v any_o particular_a favour_n from_o our_o lord_n it_o be_v ordinary_o after_o i_o have_v even_o defeat_v and_o annihilate_v myself_o and_o i_o conceive_v that_o our_o lord_n proceed_v thus_o with_o i_o to_o the_o end_n that_o i_o may_v see_v the_o more_o clear_o how_o far_o i_o be_o out_o of_o the_o way_n of_o deserue_v his_o favour_n short_o after_o this_o my_o spirit_n be_v so_o absorb_v and_o snatch_v away_o that_o in_o effect_n it_o seem_v to_o be_v absolute_o out_o of_o my_o body_n at_o least_o it_o be_v not_o understand_v that_o it_o live_v in_o it_o and_o then_o i_o see_v the_o most_o sacred_a humanity_n of_o our_o bless_a lord_n in_o much_o more_o excessive_a glory_n than_o ever_o i_o have_v discern_v before_o now_o this_o be_v represent_v to_o i_o by_o a_o certain_a admirable_a and_o clear_a notice_n of_o his_o be_v place_v in_o the_o very_a bosom_n of_o his_o father_n nor_o yet_o do_v i_o know_v what_o to_o say_v of_o how_o this_o be_v for_o it_o seem_v to_o i_o that_o i_o see_v myself_o present_a before_o that_o very_a divinity_n and_o yet_o without_o see_v myself_o and_o i_o remain_v so_o amaze_v and_o every_o way_n indeed_o in_o such_o sort_n that_o i_o think_v there_o pass_v some_o day_n before_o i_o be_v able_a to_o return_v to_o myself_o for_o still_o i_o be_v conceave_a that_o i_o have_v the_o majesty_n of_o the_o son_n of_o god_n present_a with_o i_o though_o it_o be_v not_o yet_o like_o the_o former_a for_o this_o i_o understand_v well_o enough_o but_o how_o soever_o it_o remain_v so_o engrave_v in_o my_o imagination_n that_o i_o can_v be_v ride_v of_o it_o how_o short_a soever_o the_o time_n be_v wherein_o it_o be_v represent_v to_o i_o and_o this_o be_v matter_n both_o of_o great_a comfort_n and_o of_o great_a benefit_n to_o my_o soul_n now_o i_o have_v see_v this_o very_a vision_n at_o three_o other_o time_n and_o this_o in_o my_o opinion_n be_v absolute_o the_o most_o sublime_a vision_n which_o ever_o our_o bless_a lord_n give_v i_o and_o it_o bring_v the_o great_a improvement_n and_o profit_n with_o it_o for_o it_o seem_v that_o the_o soul_n be_v great_o purify_v by_o it_o and_o that_o it_o do_v utter_o take_v away_o all_o strength_n from_o the_o sensuality_n of_o our_o self-love_n it_o be_v a_o vehement_a flame_n which_o seem_v to_o burn_v up_o and_o even_o annihilate_v all_o the_o desire_n of_o this_o life_n and_o since_o god_n be_v bless_v for_o it_o i_o have_v already_o no_o inclination_n to_o idle_a and_o impertinent_a thing_n it_o be_v here_o declare_v to_o i_o in_o distinct_a manner_n that_o all_o be_v vanity_n and_o in_o particular_a how_o vain_a all_o the_o superiority_n and_o signory_n of_o this_o world_n be_v and_o it_o fall_v out_o also_o to_o be_v of_o mighty_a instruction_n for_o the_o raising-up_a of_o our_o desire_n to_o be_v lodge_v upon_o the_o purity_n of_o truth_n and_o there_o remain_v a_o high_a kind_n of_o adoration_n and_o reverence_n of_o god_n imprint_v after_o a_o certain_a manner_n which_o i_o know_v not_o how_o to_o describe_v but_o it_o be_v of_o a_o very_a different_a kind_n from_o whatsoever_o we_o can_v acquire_v in_o this_o world_n it_o create_v also_o a_o huge_a amazement_n in_o the_o soul_n to_o consider_v how_o she_o ever_o dare_v or_o how_o any_o creature_n can_v presume_v so_o far_o as_o to_o think_v of_o offend_v such_o a_o supreme_a majesty_n of_o almighty_a god_n i_o have_v declare_v sometime_o heretofore_o the_o effect_n of_o vision_n and_o such_o other_o thing_n but_o i_o have_v also_o say_v already_o that_o a_o soul_n receave_v more_o or_o less_o profit_n according_a to_o the_o proportion_n and_o manner_n of_o the_o vision_n as_o the_o same_o may_v be_v either_o more_o or_o less_o but_o in_o this_o it_o be_v extraordinary_o great_a when_o i_o come_v to_o receive_v the_o bless_a sacrament_n and_o i_o do_v then_o record_v to_o myself_o that_o incomparable_a majesty_n which_o i_o have_v see_v and_o understand_v to_o be_v the_o very_a same_o which_o be_v in_o this_o most_o holy_a sacrament_n and_o many_o time_n our_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o let_v i_o see_v he_o in_o the_o sacred_a host_n where_o upon_o the_o very_a hair_n of_o my_o head_n will_v stand_v on_o end_n and_o i_o thought_n i_o be_v even_o annihilate_v outtight_n o_o my_o dear_a lord_n and_o if_o thou_o do_v
there_o and_o now_o by_o mean_n of_o this_o consideration_n my_o soul_n begin_v to_o be_v so_o much_o more_o inflame_v that_o my_o spirit_n grow_v to_o be_v in_o rapt_v and_o so_o as_o that_o i_o know_v not_o how_o to_o express_v it_o for_o i_o think_v i_o be_v put_v and_o plunge_v into_o that_o majesty_n which_o i_o have_v former_o understand_v but_o yet_o so_o as_o that_o i_o know_v not_o how_o to_o declare_v it_o in_o this_o majesty_n a_o certain_a truth_n be_v give_v i_o to_o be_v understand_v which_o indeed_o be_v the_o accomplishment_n of_o all_o truth_n but_o yet_o still_o i_o know_v not_o how_o to_o relate_v it_o for_o i_o see_v nothing_o at_o all_o distinct_o but_o they_o tell_v i_o these_o word_n though_o yet_o i_o see_v not_o who_o speak_v they_o only_o i_o know_v that_o it_o be_v the_o very_a truth_n this_o which_o i_o do_v for_o thou_o be_v no_o small_a matter_n but_o rather_o it_o be_v a_o thing_n for_o which_o thou_o ow_a i_o much_o because_o one_o of_o the_o mischief_n which_o grow_n to_o the_o world_n proceed_v from_o not_o know_v the_o truth_n of_o scripture_n with_o clear_a truth_n but_o one_o tittle_n thereof_o shall_v not_o fail_v now_o as_o for_o i_o i_o conceive_v that_o myself_o have_v always_o believe_v this_o yea_o and_o that_o all_o catholic_n have_v also_o believe_v it_o but_o then_o he_o say_v to_o i_o again_o alas_o my_o daughter_n there_o be_v few_o who_o love_v i_o according_a to_o truth_n for_o if_o they_o do_v i_o will_v not_o conceal_v my_o secret_n from_o they_o but_o do_v thou_o know_v what_o it_o be_v to_o love_v i_o according_a to_o truth_n it_o be_v to_o know_v that_o all_o be_v a_o lie_n which_o be_v not_o acceptable_a to_o i_o thou_o shall_v be_v able_a to_o see_v this_o clear_o which_o now_o thou_o do_v not_o understand_v by_o the_o profit_n which_o thy_o soul_n shall_v get_v and_o so_o according_o i_o have_v see_v it_o perform_v our_o lord_n be_v ever_o praise_v for_o it_o for_o all_o thing_n which_o be_v not_o address_v to_o the_o service_n of_o almighty_a god_n do_v of_o late_a seem_v to_o i_o so_o huge_o to_o be_v vanity_n and_o a_o lie_n that_o i_o be_o no_o way_n able_a to_o express_v how_o much_o i_o understand_v thereof_o and_o it_o move_v i_o to_o deep_a compassion_n to_o see_v man_n live_v in_o so_o great_a obscurity_n and_o ignorance_n as_o they_o be_v in_o of_o thy_o truth_n but_o by_o this_o mean_n i_o have_v benefit_v myself_o in_o many_o kind_n whereof_o i_o will_v here_o relate_v some_o and_o some_o i_o shall_v not_o be_v able_a to_o relate_v but_o our_o lord_n say_v one_o word_n to_o i_o here_o in_o particular_a with_o very_o great_a favour_n though_o i_o know_v not_o also_o how_o this_o be_v for_o i_o see_v nothing_o but_o i_o remain_v in_o such_o sort_n after_o it_o as_o i_o know_v not_o also_o how_o to_o declare_v even_o that_o only_o i_o be_o sure_a i_o remain_v by_o this_o mean_n with_o a_o very_a great_a kind_n of_o fortitude_n and_o firm_a purpose_n of_o accomplish_v even_o the_o least_o part_n of_o holy_a scripture_n with_o the_o uttermost_a of_o all_o my_o power_n and_o nothing_o i_o think_v can_v offer_v itself_o to_o i_o through_o which_o i_o will_v not_o pass_v for_o the_o make_v this_o good_a there_o remain_v also_o a_o truth_n of_o this_o divine_a truth_n which_o be_v now_o represent_v to_o i_o though_o yet_o still_o i_o know_v not_o how_o so_o deep_o engrave_v in_o my_o hart_n that_o it_o make_v i_o carry_v a_o new_a kind_n of_o profound_a reverence_n to_o almighty_a god_n for_o it_o impart_v a_o notice_n of_o his_o high_a majesty_n and_o great_a power_n after_o such_o a_o manner_n as_o can_v be_v describe_v but_o i_o can_v only_o understand_v that_o it_o be_v a_o mighty_a kind_n of_o thing_n i_o now_o remain_v also_o with_o a_o very_a great_a desire_n never_o to_o speak_v at_o all_o but_o of_o thing_n which_o be_v substantial_o true_a and_o which_o may_v just_o take_v precedence_n of_o all_o that_o which_o use_v to_o be_v treat_v of_o in_o this_o world_n and_o so_o i_o then_o begin_v to_o find_v it_o pain_n enough_o even_o to_o live_v in_o it_o this_o vision_n leave_v i_o with_o a_o regalo_n of_o great_a tenderness_n and_o with_o humility_n also_o it_o seem_v to_o i_o that_o our_o bless_a lord_n do_v give_v i_o to_o understand_v much_o in_o this_o vision_n though_o yet_o without_o my_o understanding_n the_o manner_n of_o it_o but_o at_o least_o i_o be_v satisfy_v well_o enough_o that_o it_o be_v no_o illusion_n i_o see_v nothing_o but_o yet_o i_o understand_v the_o great_a benefit_n which_o there_o be_v in_o not_o make_v account_n of_o any_o thing_n which_o bring_v we_o not_o near_o to_o almighty_a god_n and_o so_o i_o come_v to_o understand_v what_o kind_n of_o thing_n it_o be_v for_o a_o soul_n to_o walk_v in_o truth_n in_o the_o presence_n of_o the_o same_o truth_n that_o which_o i_o understand_v be_v that_o our_o lord_n give_v i_o to_o understand_v that_o he_o be_v very_a truth_n itself_o and_o all_o these_o thing_n at_o which_o i_o have_v now_o point_v here_o i_o understand_v sometime_o by_o their_o be_v speak_v to_o i_o and_o at_o other_o time_n without_o speech_n but_o yet_o some_o of_o this_o latter_a sort_n with_o more_o clearness_n than_o those_o other_o which_o be_v impart_v to_o i_o by_o word_n i_o understand_v very_o great_a truth_n of_o this_o truth_n and_o better_o then_o if_o many_o learned_a man_n have_v teach_v i_o and_o at_o least_o it_o seem_v to_o i_o that_o they_o can_v by_o no_o mean_n have_v so_o imprint_v they_o in_o my_o mind_n nor_o so_o clear_o have_v give_v i_o to_o understand_v the_o vanity_n of_o this_o world_n this_o truth_n which_o i_o say_v be_v give_v i_o to_o be_v understand_v be_v very_a truth_n in_o itself_o and_o it_o be_v both_o without_o beginning_n and_o without_o end_n and_o all_o other_o truth_n depend_v upon_o this_o truth_n and_o all_o other_o love_n upon_o this_o love_n and_o all_o other_o greatness_n upon_o this_o greatness_n though_o yet_o all_o this_o be_v deliver_v by_o i_o with_o much_o obscurity_n in_o comparison_n of_o that_o clearness_n wherewith_o our_o bless_a lord_n be_v please_v to_o impart_v it_o and_o how_o very_o well_o do_v this_o become_v the_o great_a power_n of_o that_o majesty_n to_o leave_v such_o thing_n as_o these_o imprint_v upon_o the_o soul_n whereby_o such_o advantage_n be_v obtain_v and_o that_o in_o so_o short_a a_o time_n o_o greatness_n and_o majesty_n of_o my_o omnipotent_a lord_n what_o be_v it_o which_o thou_o be_v do_v consider_v who_o it_o be_v to_o who_o thou_o be_v vouchsafe_v such_o sovereign_a favour_n do_v thou_o not_o remember_v how_o this_o soul_n have_v be_v a_o very_a abyss_n of_o lie_n and_o even_o a_o deep_a sea_n of_o vanity_n and_o all_o this_o through_o fault_n of_o my_o own_o for_o notwithstanding_o that_o thou_o give_v i_o a_o inclination_n which_o natural_o do_v abhor_v lie_v yet_o i_o make_v myself_o apt_a to_o treat_v in_o many_o thing_n after_o a_o deceitful_a kind_n of_o manner_n how_o be_v thou_o able_a o_o my_o god_n even_o to_o endure_v i_o and_o how_o can_v so_o great_a goodness_n of_o thou_o be_v show_v to_o one_o who_o have_v so_o ill_o deserve_v it_o and_o how_o can_v so_o much_o sin_n against_o thou_o be_v compatible_a with_o such_o favour_n as_o these_o be_v once_o recite_v the_o hour_n of_o the_o divine_a office_n with_o all_o the_o rest_n of_o the_o religious_a my_o soul_n begin_v to_o be_v sudden_o recollect_v and_o it_o seem_v to_o i_o that_o it_o be_v like_o some_o clear_a and_o pure_a lookingglass_n without_o have_v any_o thing_n either_o on_o the_o back_n or_o on_o the_o side_n or_o yet_o either_o above_o or_o below_o which_o be_v not_o all_o extreme_o clear_a and_o in_o the_o very_a centre_n thereof_o christ_n our_o lord_n be_v represent_v to_o i_o just_a so_o as_o i_o be_o accustom_v to_o see_v he_o it_o seem_v to_o i_o that_o i_o see_v he_o clear_o in_o all_o the_o part_n and_o portion_n of_o my_o soul_n as_o in_o a_o lookingglass_n and_o so_o also_o though_o i_o know_v not_o how_o our_o bless_a lord_n himself_o be_v engrave_v therein_o with_o such_o a_o certain_a kind_n of_o enamour_a communion_n or_o communication_n of_o himself_o as_o i_o can_v possible_o express_v only_o i_o know_v that_o this_o vision_n have_v be_v of_o very_o great_a benefit_n to_o i_o and_o be_v so_o whensoever_o i_o remember_v it_o and_o especial_o after_o i_o receive_v the_o b._n sacrament_n but_o it_o be_v give_v i_o hereby_o to_o understand_v that_o the_o be_v of_o a_o soul_n in_o mortal_a sin_n be_v to_o make_v this_o glass_n be_v cover_v
how_o many_o year_n she_o have_v continue_v in_o that_o dangerous_a state_n and_o in_o fine_a how_o she_o conceive_v that_o her_o proper_a place_n and_o particular_a torment_n be_v prepare_v for_o she_o in_o hell_n itself_o for_o the_o everlasting_a punishment_n of_o her_o sin_n which_o she_o faith_n she_o feel_v in_o spirit_n whereas_o yet_o in_o reality_n and_o sincerity_n of_o truth_n it_o may_v be_v clear_a enough_o to_o such_o as_o will_v unpartiallie_o consider_v what_o they_o be_v to_o judge_v and_o not_o look_v through_o the_o mist_n or_o cloud_v of_o that_o too_o great_a insatisfaction_n and_o severity_n which_o she_o will_v be_v sure_a to_o carry_v towards_o herself_o that_o she_o be_v always_o far_o from_o commit_v any_o mortal_a sin_n in_o all_o the_o course_n of_o her_o life_n now_o the_o difference_n in_o point_n of_o judgement_n between_v our_o saint_n and_o other_o may_v well_o seem_v to_o have_v proceed_v from_o this_o occasion_n which_o follow_v they_o look_v upon_o her_o whole_a life_n with_o the_o eye_n of_o a_o religious_a kind_n of_o reason_n and_o she_o with_o those_o even_o of_o a_o kind_n of_o inordinate_a passion_n as_o a_o man_n may_v say_v of_o devotion_n they_o look_v upon_o she_o as_o man_n who_o be_v inform_v even_o by_o herself_o of_o the_o case_n be_v most_o fit_a through_o their_o indifferency_n to_o be_v the_o judge_n whereas_o she_o look_v upon_o herself_o as_o a_o mere_a party_n who_o must_v not_o in_o her_o own_o case_n be_v trust_v by_o any_o mean_n so_o well_o as_o her_o judge_n especial_o when_o that_o judge_n know_v all_o thing_n as_o well_o as_o herself_o since_o she_o declare_v they_o to_o he_o beside_o that_o she_o express_v clear_o how_o diverse_a who_o be_v her_o ghostly_a father_n at_o the_o time_n of_o her_o great_a imperfection_n declare_v to_o she_o in_o very_o positive_a term_n that_o she_o be_v far_o from_o commit_v mortal_a sinne._n and_o note_v that_o they_o pass_v such_o a_o judgement_n upon_o she_o at_o time_n when_o herself_o profess_v that_o she_o confess_v all_o her_o sin_n so_o entire_o as_o not_o to_o omit_v so_o much_o as_o even_o all_o those_o venial_a sin_n upon_o which_o she_o can_v reflect_v so_o that_o clear_o by_o the_o very_o worst_a of_o her_o case_n if_o any_o such_o thing_n as_o she_o have_v ever_o do_v be_v doubtful_a &_o if_o her_o ghostly_a father_n assure_v she_o then_o that_o it_o be_v not_o mortal_a as_o indeed_o they_o do_v what_o reason_n can_v she_o have_v to_o be_v so_o very_o high_o and_o irreconciliable_o unsatisfy_v with_o herself_o but_o the_o truth_n be_v she_o pierce_v so_o deep_o by_o mean_n of_o celestial_a grace_n into_o that_o endless_a spotless_a mine_n of_o the_o purity_n of_o almighty_a god_n and_o the_o unlimited_a excellentie_n of_o his_o high_a majesty_n and_o the_o unspeakable_a deformity_n of_o the_o least_o imperfection_n or_o frailty_n when_o once_o it_o shall_v be_v bring_v to_o appear_v before_o that_o incomparable_a claritie_n of_o the_o king_n of_o glory_n and_o on_o the_o other_o side_n she_o be_v endue_v with_o such_o a_o strange_a internal_a kind_n of_o knowledge_n of_o herself_o that_o it_o make_v as_o i_o be_v say_v before_o those_o moat_n of_o her_o imperfection_n seem_v mountain_n when_o once_o they_o be_v to_o appear_v as_o in_o god_n presence_n she_o be_v also_o of_o so_o very_o sensible_a a_o nature_n which_o i_o must_v needs_o touch_v again_o afterward_o and_o so_o easy_o oblige_v and_o so_o inseparable_o engage_v upon_o the_o receive_n even_o of_o poor_a weak_a little_a service_n from_o mortal_a creature_n &_o much_o more_o when_o celestial_a favour_n distil_v down_o so_o very_o fast_o towards_o she_o from_o that_o never-failing_a fountain_n of_o divine_a mercy_n that_o for_o she_o to_o find_v herself_o any_o way_n ungrateful_a yea_o or_o so_o much_o as_o even_o unmindful_a thereof_o and_o yet_o much_o more_o if_o she_o shall_v prove_v so_o inhuman_o unkind_a as_o in_o stead_n of_o pay_v service_n to_o commit_v fault_n how_o light_n soever_o they_o may_v be_v such_o error_n will_v seem_v in_o those_o eye_n of_o she_o which_o still_o be_v feed_v from_o that_o inflame_a hart_n to_o be_v real_o not_o very_o much_o less_o than_o almost_o as_o so_o many_o half_a sin_n against_o the_o holie-ghost_n and_o from_o this_o composition_n of_o her_o mind_n both_o in_o the_o natural_a and_o supernatural_a way_n do_v grow_v those_o profound_a detestation_n of_o herself_o those_o high_a exaggeration_n of_o her_o imperfection_n and_o frailty_n those_o loud_v exclamation_n against_o her_o suppose_a ingratitude_n and_o unkindness_n towards_o almighty_a god_n which_o break_v as_o it_o be_v even_o her_o own_o very_a hart_n while_o she_o be_v think_v and_o deliver_v over_o such_o feel_a argument_n of_o her_o sad_a remorse_n while_o she_o be_v writing_n as_o be_v able_a to_o strike_v the_o water_n of_o tear_n out_o of_o the_o stony_a heart_n of_o her_o reader_n like_o the_o rod_n of_o moses_n which_o 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she_o know_v that_o she_o do_v not_o offend_v god_n therein_o for_o the_o truth_n of_o the_o case_n be_v this_o she_o be_v then_o a_o secular_a woman_n and_o the_o inclination_n which_o she_o have_v to_o the_o person_n be_v capable_a of_o be_v conclude_v in_o a_o marriage_n beside_o that_o real_o on_o her_o part_n there_o be_v never_o so_o much_o as_o one_o impure_a thought_n that_o another_o spiritual_a 8._o man_n with_o who_o she_o also_o consult_v short_o after_o about_o matter_n of_o her_o soul_n by_o occasion_n of_o some_o fear_n into_o which_o she_o grow_v then_o to_o fall_v declare_v to_o she_o that_o though_o she_o be_v in_o the_o state_n of_o never_o so_o high_a contemplation_n yet_o such_o conference_n and_o conversation_n as_o those_o be_v not_o to_o be_v inconvenient_a for_o she_o that_o she_o also_o understand_v by_o
my_o parent_n but_o by_o the_o way_n of_o virtue_n my_o father_n be_v a_o man_n of_o much_o charity_n towards_o poor_a people_n and_o of_o compassion_n towards_o the_o sick_a yea_o and_o he_o have_v so_o much_o pity_n even_o of_o his_o servant_n that_o he_o can_v never_o resolve_v to_o keep_v any_o slave_n for_o the_o tenderness_n which_o he_o have_v towards_o they_o and_o there_o be_v once_o a_o slave_n in_o his_o house_n who_o belong_v to_o a_o brother_n of_o he_o he_o cause_v he_o to_o be_v treat_v and_o feed_v as_o if_o he_o have_v be_v one_o of_o his_o own_o child_n and_o say_v through_o his_o great_a compassion_n that_o he_o can_v not_o endure_v to_o see_v such_o as_o he_o be_v unless_o they_o may_v be_v make_v free_a he_o be_v a_o man_n of_o much_o truth_n nor_o do_v ever_o any_o creature_n hear_v he_o either_o detract_v or_o swear_v he_o be_v excee_o honest_a and_o chaste_a my_o mother_n also_o be_v enrich_v with_o many_o virtue_n and_o she_o pass_v through_o this_o life_n of_o 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buy_v heaven_n where_o they_o be_v to_o see_v and_o enjoy_v his_o divine_a majesty_n very_o good_a cheap_a and_o myself_o also_o desire_v much_o to_o die_v so_o though_o not_o yet_o for_o the_o love_n which_o i_o find_v and_o feel_v myself_o to_o bear_v he_o but_o rather_o that_o i_o may_v come_v by_o so_o compendious_a a_o way_n to_o enjoy_v those_o great_a felicity_n which_o i_o have_v read_v to_o be_v impart_v in_o heaven_n i_o associate_v myself_o therefore_o to_o this_o brother_n of_o i_o to_o consider_v what_o mean_v there_o may_v be_v for_o our_o obtain_v this_o end_n and_o so_o we_o grow_v to_o resolve_v that_o we_o will_v go_v into_o barbary_n among_o the_o moor_n and_o beg_v by_o the_o way_n as_o we_o go_v that_o so_o we_o may_v come_v by_o degree_n to_o loose_v our_o life_n there_o for_o our_o lord_n and_o it_o seem_v that_o he_o give_v we_o courage_n enough_o for_o this_o purpose_n even_o in_o that_o tender_a age_n of_o we_o if_o we_o can_v have_v find_v any_o mean_n to_o 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to_o set_v up_o some_o little_a oratorye_n or_o chapel_n after_o the_o manner_n of_o heremitage_n the_o best_a we_o can_v and_o we_o assemble_v little_a stone_n for_o that_o purpose_n which_o will_v instant_o be_v fall_v down_o again_o and_o so_o we_o meet_v with_o no_o mean_n to_o put_v out_o good_a desire_n in_o execution_n but_o in_o the_o mean_a time_n i_o be_o not_o without_o some_o feel_n of_o devotion_n to_o consider_v how_o soon_o it_o please_v almighty_a god_n to_o give_v i_o this_o kind_n of_o tenderness_n towards_o he_o which_o afterward_o i_o grow_v to_o loose_v through_o my_o own_o fault_n i_o give_v alm_n as_o well_o as_o i_o can_v though_o it_o be_v but_o little_a i_o procure_v to_o be_v much_o alone_a for_o the_o better_a do_v my_o devotion_n which_o be_v many_o and_o especial_o that_o of_o the_o rosarie_n to_o which_o my_o mother_n be_v much_o affect_v and_o she_o endeavour_v also_o to_o make_v we_o so_o i_o take_v particular_a contentment_n while_o i_o be_v play_v with_o other_o child_n like_o myself_o to_o frame_v certain_a little_a thing_n like_o monastery_n as_o if_o we_o have_v be_v religious_a woman_n and_o i_o thought_n i_o desire_v to_o be_v one_o though_o yet_o not_o with_o such_o vehemency_n of_o affection_n as_o i_o do_v those_o other_o thing_n whereof_o i_o speak_v i_o remember_v that_o when_o my_o mother_n die_v she_o leave_v i_o a_o little_a less_o then_o twelue_v year_n old_a and_o as_o soon_o as_o i_o begin_v to_o understand_v how_o great_a a_o loss_n i_o have_v sustain_v by_o lose_v she_o i_o be_v very_o much_o afflict_v and_o so_o i_o go_v besore_n a_o image_n of_o our_o bless_a lady_n and_o i_o humble_o beseech_v she_o with_o many_o tear_n that_o she_o will_v vouchsafe_v to_o be_v my_o mother_n and_o though_o i_o perform_v this_o little_a action_n but_o in_o a_o plain_a and_o simple_a manner_n yet_o i_o think_v i_o may_v well_o conceive_v that_o it_o have_v serve_v i_o to_o very_o good_a purpose_n for_o i_o have_v most_o 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my_o very_a soul_n even_o to_o say_v thus_o much_o because_o i_o know_v and_o feel_v that_o the_o fault_n thereof_o be_v whole_o i_o for_o as_o for_o thou_o i_o find_v clear_o enough_o that_o there_o want_v nothing_o at_o all_o on_o thy_o part_n to_o secure_v i_o for_o be_v total_o thou_o own_o even_o from_o that_o tender_a age_n of_o i_o and_o if_o i_o will_v be_v content_a to_o seek_v some_o colour_n to_o complain_v of_o my_o parent_n with_o as_o little_a reason_n also_o can_v i_o do_v that_o since_o i_o can_v never_o discover_v any_o thing_n in_o
give_v i_o light_n by_o her_o mean_n as_o i_o will_v now_o declare_v the_o three_o chapter_n wherein_o she_o treat_v how_o her_o fall_v into_o virtuous_a company_n be_v the_o occasion_n of_o she_o return_v to_o awake_a good_a desire_n in_o herself_o and_o how_o our_o lord_n begin_v to_o give_v she_o some_o light_n of_o the_o error_n wherein_o she_o have_v former_o be_v but_o now_o i_o begin_v to_o take_v gust_n in_o the_o good_a and_o holy_a conversation_n of_o this_o religious_a woman_n be_v joy_v to_o hear_v how_o well_o she_o be_v wont_a to_o speak_v of_o almighty_a god_n for_o she_o be_v both_o very_a holy_a and_o very_o discreet_a of_o this_o i_o conceive_v &_o confess_v i_o do_v never_o at_o any_o time_n give_v over_o to_o â—â—â—â—ery_o glad_a to_o hear_v she_o begin_v one_o day_n to_o tell_v nâ—â—â—â—ow_o she_o be_v grow_v to_o be_v a_o religious_a woman_n by_o the_o only_o read_v of_o that_o place_n of_o the_o gospel_n that_o many_o be_v call_v but_o few_o be_v choose_v and_o she_o speak_v much_o to_o i_o of_o the_o reward_n which_o our_o lord_n be_v wont_a to_o give_v to_o such_o as_o leave_v all_o thing_n for_o the_o love_n of_o he_o in_o a_o word_n this_o good_a society_n of_o she_o begin_v quick_o to_o put_v to_o flight_n those_o custom_n and_o condivons_a which_o ill_a company_n have_v bring_v upon_o i_o and_o restore_v the_o desire_n of_o eternal_a blessing_n to_o my_o thought_n yea_o and_o to_o strip_v i_o in_o some_o part_n of_o that_o great_a enmity_n and_o opposition_n against_o becominge_v a_o religious_a woman_n which_o former_o have_v be_v very_o extreme_a but_o now_o if_o i_o chance_v to_o see_v any_o one_o who_o shed_v many_o tear_n for_o her_o sin_n or_o else_o that_o she_o abound_v in_o other_o virtue_n i_o carry_v a_o kind_n of_o envy_n towards_o she_o though_o as_o for_o this_o hart_n of_o i_o it_o be_v so_o very_o hard_o and_o even_o impenetrable_a in_o this_o kind_n that_o if_o i_o shall_v have_v read_v over_o the_o whole_a history_n of_o the_o paision_n of_o our_o bless_a saviour_n i_o be_v not_o able_a to_o shed_v a_o tear_n and_o this_o put_v i_o to_o a_o great_a deal_n of_o pain_n in_o this_o monastery_n do_v i_o remain_v a_o year_n and_o a_o half_a and_o i_o be_v much_o improve_v there_o i_o begin_v to_o say_v many_o vocal_a prayer_n and_o i_o procure_v of_o all_o the_o religious_a that_o they_o will_v recommend_v i_o much_o to_o almighty_a god_n to_o the_o end_n that_o he_o may_v place_v i_o in_o such_o a_o way_n of_o life_n as_o wherein_o i_o may_v be_v likely_a to_o serve_v he_o best_o but_o still_o i_o do_v even_o desire_n that_o i_o may_v not_o be_v a_o religious_a woman_n and_o that_o this_o may_v not_o be_v the_o state_n which_o god_n will_v give_v i_o though_o yet_o still_o i_o be_v afraid_a to_o be_v marry_v but_o now_o at_o the_o end_n of_o the_o time_n when_o i_o be_v there_o i_o already_o begin_v to_o be_v more_o incline_v to_o be_v a_o religious_a woman_n though_o yet_o not_o in_o that_o very_a 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be_v instant_o send_v away_o again_o and_o i_o can_v not_o yet_o persuade_v myself_o to_o be_v one_o at_o this_o time_n though_o myself_o be_v not_o altogether_o without_o care_n of_o my_o cure_n yet_o our_o lord_n be_v much_o full_a of_o desire_n to_o dispose_v i_o for_o that_o state_n which_o will_v be_v best_a for_o my_o soul_n he_o then_o give_v i_o so_o great_a a_o sickness_n that_o i_o be_v force_v to_o return_v home_o to_o my_o father_n house_n and_o when_v once_o i_o be_v recover_v they_o conduct_v i_o to_o give_v a_o visit_n to_o one_o of_o my_o sister_n in_o the_o country_n for_o the_o love_n which_o i_o bear_v she_o be_v extreme_a and_o by_o her_o will_n i_o shall_v never_o have_v part_v from_o she_o her_o husband_n do_v also_o love_v i_o very_o much_o and_o at_o least_o he_o regale_v i_o high_o and_o even_o for_o this_o also_o be_o i_o oblige_v to_o our_o bless_a lord_n since_o in_o all_o place_n where_o i_o have_v be_v i_o be_v ever_o treat_v after_o this_o manner_n 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yet_o i_o pretend_v that_o i_o have_v for_o in_o the_o point_n of_o give_v contentment_n to_o other_o i_o have_v ever_o a_o extreme_a kind_n of_o care_n how_o dear_a soever_o it_o may_v cost_v i_o so_o that_o the_o same_o thing_n which_o have_v be_v virtue_n in_o other_o be_v a_o great_a fault_n in_o i_o because_o i_o often_o carry_v myself_o therein_o with_o much_o indiscretion_n o_o my_o god_n by_o what_o way_n do_v thy_o divine_a majesty_n go_v dispose_v i_o for_o that_o state_n in_o which_o thou_o be_v please_v that_o i_o shall_v serve_v thou_o since_o thou_o do_v even_o force_v i_o thus_o as_o it_o be_v against_o my_o will_n to_o force_v myself_o be_v thou_o bless_v for_o all_o eternity_n amen_o though_o i_o stay_v not_o long_o in_o that_o place_n yet_o by_o the_o effect_n which_o the_o word_n of_o almighty_a god_n wrought_v in_o my_o hart_n whether_o they_o be_v read_v or_o hear_v by_o i_o together_o with_o so_o good_a company_n as_o that_o be_v wherein_o i_o find_v myself_o then_o i_o come_v to_o understand_v this_o truth_n which_o i_o have_v learn_v when_o i_o be_v yet_o but_o a_o child_n that_o namely_o all_o be_v nothing_o and_o how_o great_a the_o vanity_n of_o the_o world_n be_v and_o that_o all_o will_v be_v short_o at_o a_o end_n and_o that_o i_o may_v just_o fear_v least_o die_v in_o that_o condition_n wherein_o i_o be_v i_o may_v chance_v go_v drop_v down_o into_o hell_n and_o though_o my_o will_n do_v not_o yet_o entire_o resolve_v i_o to_o make_v myself_o a_o religious_a woman_n yet_o i_o well_o discern_v that_o it_o be_v the_o better_a and_o more_o secure_a state_n and_o so_o by_o little_a and_o little_a i_o determine_v to_o force_v my_o hart_n to_o embrace_v it_o in_o this_o battle_n i_o remain_v three_o month_n constrain_a myself_o at_o last_o by_o this_o follow_a discourse_n and_o reason_n that_o the_o trouble_n and_o affliction_n of_o be_v a_o religious_a woman_n can_v not_o be_v great_a than_o the_o pain_n of_o purgatory_n and_o that_o i_o have_v so_o well_o deserve_v hell_n it_o be_v not_o to_o be_v esteem_v too_o much_o if_o i_o remain_v while_o i_o shall_v live_v here_o as_o in_o purgatory_n so_o that_o afterward_o i_o may_v go_v straight_o to_o heaven_n for_o this_o be_v my_o desire_n but_o yet_o even_o in_o this_o inclination_n of_o i_o to_o take_v this_o state_n upon_o i_o i_o doubt_v i_o be_v more_o move_v by_o a_o kind_n of_o servile_a fear_n then_o by_o love._n the_o devil_n in_o the_o mean_a time_n represent_v to_o i_o that_o i_o will_v never_o
yet_o can_v not_o be_v too_o great_a a_o demonstration_n when_o i_o weigh_v how_o deep_o i_o offend_v thou_o afterward_o now_o i_o think_v that_o i_o have_v reason_n before_o in_o not_o desire_v so_o great_a a_o dignity_n as_o this_o consider_v how_o ill_o i_o be_v like_a to_o employ_v it_o but_o thou_o o_o my_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o permit_v that_o i_o may_v use_v this_o favour_n so_o ill_o twenty_o year_n together_o and_o will_v content_v thyself_o to_o be_v the_o person_n affront_v that_o i_o may_v be_v the_o person_n improve_v for_o it_o seem_v not_o to_o i_o now_o o_o my_o god_n that_o i_o make_v thou_o any_o promise_n of_o any_o thing_n but_o only_o that_o i_o will_v keep_v no_o promise_n which_o i_o have_v make_v thou_o though_o yet_o my_o intention_n be_v not_o such_o at_o that_o time_n and_o yet_o i_o find_v my_o action_n to_o have_v grow_v afterward_o to_o be_v such_o that_o i_o may_v very_o well_o think_v i_o scarce_o know_v what_o kind_n of_o intention_n i_o have_v and_o thus_o it_o may_v the_o better_o be_v see_v who_o thou_o be_v o_o my_o spouse_n and_o my_o god_n and_o who_o i_o be_o for_o it_o be_v real_o a_o express_a truth_n that_o the_o grief_n for_o my_o very_a great_a sin_n be_v temper_v in_o i_o many_o time_n by_o the_o contentment_n which_o this_o consideration_n give_v i_o that_o my_o sinnefulnes_n may_v prove_v a_o mean_n to_o make_v the_o multitude_n of_o thy_o mercy_n be_v understand_v for_o in_o who_o o_o lord_n can_v they_o ever_o shine_v so_o bright_o as_o in_o i_o who_o have_v by_o my_o wicked_a action_n so_o obscure_v those_o great_a favour_n which_o thou_o begin_v to_o do_v i_o ah_o woe_n be_v i_o o_o my_o creator_n for_o if_o i_o look_v for_o any_o excuse_n i_o can_v find_v none_o nor_o have_v any_o creature_n the_o fault_n of_o it_o but_o only_o myself_o and_o if_o i_o will_v pretend_v to_o pay_v thou_o any_o thing_n for_o the_o least_o part_n of_o that_o love_n which_o thou_o begin_v to_o show_v i_o i_o shall_v not_o know_v how_o to_o employ_v it_o upon_o any_o thing_n but_o only_o thyself_o and_o thereby_o may_v all_o be_v redress_v since_o i_o never_o deserve_v the_o same_o nor_o be_v i_o ever_o so_o happy_a as_o to_o do_v even_o this_o and_o therefore_o now_o o_o lord_n let_v thy_o mercy_n vouchsafe_v to_o supply_v all_o want_n but_o now_o the_o change_n which_o i_o make_v of_o my_o life_n and_o the_o difference_n of_o my_o food_n at_o this_o time_n from_o the_o former_a begin_v to_o do_v i_o hurt_v in_o the_o way_n of_o health_n for_o though_o the_o contentment_n which_o i_o have_v be_v great_a yet_o will_v it_o not_o serve_v the_o turn_n my_o fit_n of_o faint_a and_o swoon_v begin_v again_o to_o increase_v and_o such_o a_o hideous_a beat_n of_o the_o hart_n come_v upon_o i_o as_o amazed_z all_z they_o who_o see_v it_o beside_o many_o other_o infirmity_n and_o thus_o i_o pass_v on_o my_o first_o year_n with_o a_o kind_n of_o health_n which_o be_v ill_a enough_o though_o yet_o within_o that_o time_n i_o conceive_v myself_o not_o to_o have_v offend_v god_n much_o but_o my_o sickness_n be_v so_o great_a that_o it_o deprive_v i_o almost_o of_o my_o sense_n yea_o and_o sometime_o i_o be_v whole_o deprive_v the_o diligence_n which_o my_o father_n use_v for_o my_o recovery_n be_v also_o very_o great_a and_o when_o the_o doctor_n of_o those_o part_n find_v no_o remedy_n he_o procure_v to_o get_v i_o remove_v to_o a_o certain_a place_n where_o there_o be_v great_a fame_n of_o the_o cure_v many_o other_o infirmity_n and_o so_o they_o assure_v themselves_o that_o they_o will_v be_v able_a to_o do_v also_o with_o i_o that_o friend_n who_o i_o mention_v to_o be_v in_o that_o house_n go_v with_o i_o for_o she_o be_v of_o year_n and_o in_o the_o monastery_n where_o she_o live_v they_o make_v no_o vow_n of_o clausure_n i_o stay_v almost_o a_o year_n in_o that_o other_o place_n and_o during_o three_o month_n thereof_o i_o suffer_v so_o excessive_a torment_n by_o the_o manner_n of_o the_o cure_n which_o be_v very_o rigorous_a that_o i_o know_v not_o how_o i_o be_v able_a to_o endure_v they_o and_o though_o i_o do_v endure_v they_o yet_o i_o think_v it_o be_v not_o my_o body_n which_o can_v do_v it_o as_o i_o will_v now_o declare_v this_o cure_n be_v to_o be_v take_v in_o hand_n in_o the_o begin_n of_o summer_n and_o i_o go_v in_o the_o begin_n of_o winter_n all_o this_o mean_a time_n i_o remain_v in_o the_o house_n of_o that_o sister_n of_o who_o i_o speak_v before_o who_o dwell_v in_o the_o country_n because_o i_o be_v then_o near_o the_o place_n and_o yet_o it_o be_v very_o troublesome_a to_o be_v go_v and_o come_v to_z and_o fro_o when_o i_o depart_v from_o that_o uncle_n of_o i_o who_o i_o declare_v myself_o to_o have_v visit_v in_o the_o way_n he_o give_v i_o a_o certain_a book_n which_o be_v call_v the_o three_o a._n b._n c._n which_o treat_v of_o the_o manner_n of_o prayer_n with_o recollection_n now_o though_o in_o that_o first_o year_n i_o have_v read_v some_o good_a book_n forbear_v utter_o to_o look_v upon_o any_o other_o for_o i_o be_v not_o ignorant_a of_o the_o hurt_n which_o such_o as_o those_o have_v do_v i_o yet_o i_o know_v not_o how_o to_o proceed_v in_o prayer_n nor_o how_o to_o obtain_v recollection_n and_o so_o i_o be_v very_o glad_a of_o this_o book_n and_o determine_v to_o follow_v that_o way_n to_o the_o uttermost_a of_o my_o power_n and_o since_o our_o lord_n have_v already_o be_v please_v to_o bestow_v the_o gift_n of_o tear_n upon_o i_o and_o since_o i_o delight_v also_o in_o read_v i_o begin_v to_o spend_v some_o good_a fit_n of_o time_n in_o solitude_n and_o to_o confess_v myself_o very_o often_o and_o in_o a_o word_n to_o address_v myself_o by_o that_o way_n esteem_v that_o book_n to_o be_v my_o master_n for_o i_o can_v meet_v with_o no_o other_o master_n i_o mean_v a_o ghostly_a father_n who_o be_v able_a to_o understand_v i_o though_o i_o fight_v such_o a_o one_o almost_o twenty_o year_n after_o this_o time_n which_o accident_n do_v i_o hurt_v enough_o towards_o the_o make_v i_o turn_v back_o often_o yea_o and_o for_o the_o make_v i_o loose_v myself_o but_o such_o a_o one_o will_v have_v daily_o assist_v i_o to_o lay_v aside_o and_o leave_v those_o occasion_n which_o i_o take_v to_o offend_v almighty_a god_n in_o these_o beginning_n his_o divine_a majesty_n begin_v to_o do_v i_o so_o great_a favour_n that_o at_o the_o end_n of_o the_o time_n when_o i_o remain_v there_o which_o be_v about_o nine_o month_n in_o this_o way_n of_o solitude_n though_o i_o be_v not_o so_o free_a from_o offend_v god_n as_o the_o book_n appoint_v which_o i_o neglect_v as_o hold_v it_o impossible_a to_o continue_v still_o so_o watchful_a over_o myself_o i_o be_v careful_a not_o to_o commit_v any_o mortal_a sin_n and_o i_o will_v to_o god_n i_o have_v always_o be_v so_o but_o of_o veniall_n i_o make_v no_o great_a account_n and_o this_o be_v that_o in_o fine_a which_o destroy_v i_o but_o our_o lord_n begin_v to_o regale_n i_o so_o much_o by_o this_o way_n that_o he_o vouchsafe_v i_o the_o favour_n to_o give_v i_o quiet_a prayer_n and_o sometime_o it_o come_v so_o far_o as_o to_o arrive_v to_o union_n though_o i_o understand_v neither_o the_o one_o nor_o the_o other_o nor_o how_o much_o they_o both_o deserve_v to_o be_v prize_v but_o i_o believe_v it_o will_v have_v be_v a_o great_a deal_n of_o happiness_n for_o i_o to_o have_v understand_v the_o certainty_n thereof_o true_a it_o be_v that_o this_o union_n rest_v with_o i_o for_o so_o short_a a_o time_n that_o perhaps_o it_o may_v arrive_v to_o be_v but_o as_o of_o a_o aue_fw-la maria_fw-la yet_o i_o remain_v with_o so_o very_o great_a effect_n thereof_o that_o with_o not_o be_v then_o so_o much_o as_o twenty_o year_n old_a i_o think_v i_o find_v the_o whole_a world_n under_o my_o foot_n and_o so_o i_o remember_v well_o that_o i_o be_v wont_a to_o carry_v great_a compassion_n towards_o such_o as_o followed_z the_o way_n of_o the_o world_n though_o it_o be_v but_o even_o in_o lawful_a thing_n i_o procure_v the_o best_a i_o can_v to_o carry_v our_o lord_n who_o be_v our_o true_a good_a still_o present_a with_o i_o and_o even_o within_o i_o and_o this_o be_v the_o manner_n of_o my_o prayer_n if_o i_o think_v upon_o any_o passage_n or_o mystery_n i_o represent_v it_o to_o the_o interior_a of_o myself_o and_o other_o time_n i_o spend_v in_o read_v good_a book_n which_o be_v all_o the_o recreation_n that_o i_o have_v for_o god_n give_v not_o i_o the_o talon_n
who_o be_v virtuous_o incline_v and_o hence_o flow_v down_o my_o tear_n together_o with_o a_o indignation_n to_o consider_v what_o i_o find_v in_o myself_o for_o i_o see_v that_o still_o i_o be_v as_o upon_o the_o pitch_n of_o return_v to_o fall_v again_o although_o my_o firm_a purpose_n and_o desire_n do_v then_o i_o mean_v so_o long_o as_o those_o favour_n last_v stand_v fast_o and_o firm_a a_o great_a inconvenience_n it_o be_v for_o a_o soul_n to_o find_v herself_o solitary_a and_o single_a among_o so_o many_o danger_n and_o i_o think_v that_o if_o i_o have_v any_o creature_n to_o who_o i_o may_v have_v impart_v all_o this_o it_o will_v have_v help_v i_o not_o to_o fall_v again_o at_o least_o for_o shame_n of_o the_o world_n if_o i_o will_v not_o be_v ashamed_a to_o offend_v god_n i_o will_v therefore_o advice_n advise_v they_o who_o make_v mental_a prayer_n and_o especial_o at_o the_o beginning_n thereof_o to_o procure_v some_o friendship_n and_o familiarity_n with_o other_o who_o 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lord_n know_v very_o well_o that_o i_o pretend_v no_o other_o thing_n by_o this_o but_o only_o that_o he_o may_v be_v a_o little_a the_o more_o exalt_v and_o praise_v when_o you_o see_v that_o he_o will_v needs_o plant_v a_o garden_n of_o so_o sweet_a flower_n upon_o and_o in_o a_o dunghill_n so_o foul_a and_o filthy_a and_o of_o so_o very_o ill_a favour_n as_o i_o be_o i_o humble_o beseech_v his_o divine_a majesty_n that_o i_o return_v not_o through_o my_o fault_n to_o pluck_v they_o all_o up_o by_o the_o root_n and_o so_o become_v again_o
what_o i_o be_v before_o and_o this_o do_v i_o entreat_v your_o reverence_n that_o you_o will_v beg_v of_o our_o b._n lord_n for_o i_o since_o you_o know_v with_o more_o clearness_n what_o i_o be_o than_o here_o you_o have_v give_v i_o leave_v to_o express_v the_o eleaventh_n chapter_n she_o declare_v in_o what_o the_o fault_n consist_v of_o not_o obtain_v to_o love_n god_n with_o perfection_n in_o short_a time_n she_o begin_v to_o deliver_v it_o by_o a_o comparison_n which_o contain_v four_o degree_n of_o prayer_n and_o she_o treat_v here_o of_o the_o first_o which_o be_v very_o profitable_a for_o beginner_n and_o for_o they_o also_o who_o have_v no_o sensible_a delight_n or_o gust_n in_o prayer_n now_o to_o speak_v of_o they_o who_o begin_v to_o be_v servant_n of_o our_o bless_a lord_n for_o love_n and_o to_o i_o it_o seem_v to_o be_v nothing_o else_o to_o resolve_v to_o follow_v he_o by_o this_o way_n of_o prayer_n who_o love_v we_o so_o much_o i_o find_v it_o to_o be_v a_o thing_n of_o so_o great_a dignity_n that_o i_o regale_n myself_o after_o a_o strange_a manner_n even_o by_o the_o very_a thought_n thereof_o for_o servile_a fear_n will_v instant_o fly_v away_o if_o we_o carry_v ourselves_o as_o we_o ought_v in_o this_o first_o degree_n of_o prayer_n o_o thou_o lord_n of_o my_o soul_n and_o my_o eternal_a good_a how_o come_v it_o to_o pass_v that_o when_o a_o soul_n resolve_v to_o love_v thou_o and_o to_o do_v the_o uttermost_a she_o can_v to_o leave_v all_o this_o world_n that_o so_o she_o may_v the_o better_o employ_v herself_o upon_o this_o love_n of_o thou_o thou_o be_v not_o please_v that_o she_o shall_v instant_o enjoy_v the_o get_n up_o to_o possess_v this_o perfect_a love_n but_o i_o have_v say_v ill_o for_o i_o ought_v indeed_o to_o have_v say_v that_o i_o complain_v against_o ourselves_o because_o it_o be_v we_o who_o will_v not_o possess_v it_o since_o all_o the_o fault_n be_v we_o for_o not_o instant_o obtain_v this_o true_a love_n of_o god_n with_o perfection_n which_o carry_v all_o kind_n of_o blessing_n in_o company_n thereof_o for_o the_o matter_n be_v that_o we_o set_v so_o high_a a_o price_n upon_o ourselves_o and_o we_o be_v withal_o so_o slow_a in_o give_v our_o heart_n impediment_n total_o to_o god_n that_o as_o his_o divine_a majesty_n on_o the_o one_o side_n will_v not_o permit_v that_o we_o shall_v enjoy_v so_o precious_a a_o thing_n without_o pay_v well_o for_o it_o so_o on_o the_o other_o we_o never_o make_v a_o end_n of_o dispose_v ourselves_o therein_o as_o we_o ought_v i_o be_o able_a to_o see_v well_o enough_o that_o there_o be_v nothing_o at_o all_o in_o this_o world_n with_o which_o so_o great_a a_o treasure_n can_v be_v buy_v but_o yet_o if_o we_o do_v indeed_o what_o we_o can_v by_o not_o fasten_v ourselves_o to_o any_o thing_n of_o this_o world_n but_o that_o all_o our_o care_n and_o consideration_n be_v sent-up_a to_o heaven_n i_o be_o confident_a that_o this_o blessing_n will_v be_v impart_v to_o we_o with_o very_o great_a speed_n if_o speedy_o and_o entire_o as_o i_o be_v say_v we_o dispose_v ourselves_o to_o the_o receive_v thereof_o as_o some_o saint_n have_v do_v but_o the_o misery_n be_v that_o we_o think_v we_o give_v god_n all_o and_o the_o truth_n be_v that_o we_o offer_v his_o divine_a majesty_n but_o the_o yearly_a rent_n or_o revenue_n and_o fruit_n ourselves_o remain_v still_o with_o the_o root_n and_o possession_n of_o the_o land_n we_o resolve_v to_o make_v ourselves_o poor_a for_o god_n sake_n and_o it_o be_v a_o point_n of_o great_a merit_n to_o do_v so_o but_o yet_o we_o return_v many_o time_n to_o take_v care_n and_o to_o use_v diligence_n enough_o that_o nothing_o may_v be_v want_v to_o we_o i_o say_v not_o of_o that_o which_o be_v necessary_a but_o sometime_o also_o even_o of_o that_o which_o be_v superfluous_a and_o to_o be_v procure_v also_o to_o make_v friend_n who_o may_v help_v we_o to_o it_o and_o so_o put_v we_o still_o into_o more_o care_n yea_o &_o perhaps_o into_o more_o danger_n too_o that_o so_o we_o may_v grow_v to_o want_v nothing_o then_o even_o we_o have_v before_o when_o we_o be_v the_o possessor_n of_o our_o own_o estate_n it_o seem_v also_o that_o when_o we_o come_v to_o be_v religious_a or_o as_o soon_o as_o we_o begin_v to_o lead_v a_o spiritual_a life_n and_o to_o aspire_v towards_o perfection_n we_o gave-ove_a to_o care_v for_o the_o honour_n of_o this_o world_n and_o yet_o as_o soon_o as_o ever_o any_o creature_n begin_v but_o to_o touch_v we_o in_o that_o kind_n we_o forget_v that_o we_o have_v already_o give_v it_o away_o to_o almighty_a god_n and_o we_o resolve_v sometime_o to_o snatch_v it_o again_o out_o of_o his_o hand_n and_o run_v away_o with_o it_o even_o after_o we_o seem_v to_o have_v voluntary_o make_v he_o the_o entire_a lord_n thereof_o and_o just_o thus_o do_v it_o also_o happen_v sometime_o in_o other_o thing_n now_o this_o indeed_o be_v a_o very_a delicate_a fine_a foolish_a ridiculous_a way_n of_o seek_v the_o love_n of_o almighty_a god_n when_o together_o with_o this_o pretence_n we_o will_v as_o a_o man_n may_v say_v have_v our_o hand_n still_o full_a of_o the_o same_o imperfect_a inclination_n and_o affection_n which_o we_o have_v before_o since_o we_o do_v not_o procure_v indeed_o to_o effect_v our_o own_o former_a good_a desire_n and_o still_o we_o endeavour_v not_o at_o length_n to_o raise_v they_o whole_o up_o from_o the_o earth_n and_o yet_o we_o will_v needs_o expect_v the_o while_n to_o enjoy_v many_o spiritual_a comfort_n and_o delight_n but_o this_o seem_v not_o to_o be_v of_o a_o suit_n nor_o do_v the_o one_o stuffe_n sit_v well_o with_o the_o other_o and_o therefore_o because_o we_o will_v not_o once_o resolve_v to_o give_v ourselves_o total_o up_o to_o almighty_a god_n we_o come_v not_o total_o to_o enjoy_v this_o treasure_n and_o i_o pray_v god_n it_o may_v please_v his_o divine_a majesty_n to_o vouchsafe_v to_o grant_v it_o to_o we_o though_o it_o shall_v be_v but_o by_o drop_n and_o drop_n and_o though_o it_o shall_v grow_v to_o cost_v we_o all_o the_o labour_n and_o trouble_n of_o the_o whole_a world_n a_o very_a great_a deal_n of_o mercy_n do_v our_o bless_a lord_n show_v to_o that_o person_n to_o who_o he_o give_v the_o firm_a purpose_n and_o grace_n to_o resolve_v upon_o procure_v this_o blessing_n with_o all_o his_o power_n for_o certain_o if_o such_o a_o one_o shall_v persevere_v almighty_a god_n will_v deny_v himself_o to_o no_o creature_n but_o will_v by_o little_a and_o little_a go_v enable_v that_o soul_n in_o such_o sort_n as_o that_o at_o length_n it_o shall_v find_v itself_o to_o be_v victorious_a but_o i_o say_v that_o the_o party_n must_v have_v courage_n because_o the_o devil_n do_v ordinary_o in_o the_o beginning_n dispose_v himself_o to_o represent_v yea_o and_o frame_v very_o great_a difficulty_n to_o the_o end_n that_o so_o we_o may_v not_o hold-on_a this_o way_n in_o good_a earnest_n as_o one_o who_o know_v very_o well_o what_o prejudice_n be_v like_a to_o grow_v to_o he_o by_o it_o not_o only_o through_o his_o lose_v the_o soul_n of_o that_o party_n but_o of_o many_o other_o also_o if_o he_o who_o begin_v to_o serve_v god_n endeavour_v once_o by_o his_o favour_n to_o arrive_v to_o the_o perfection_n thereof_o for_o i_o believe_v that_o such_o a_o one_o will_v never_o go_v alone_o to_o heaven_n but_o will_v carry_v very_o many_o with_o he_o and_o that_o like_o a_o good_a captain_n he_o shall_v find_v that_o god_n will_v give_v he_o a_o fair_a company_n so_o that_o since_o the_o devil_n will_v be_v sure_a to_o lay_v such_o danger_n and_o difficulty_n in_o his_o way_n there_o will_v be_v need_n of_o very_o great_a courage_n and_o resolution_n to_o keep_v one_o from_o run_v away_o yea_o and_o also_o there_o will_v be_v need_n of_o much_o and_o much_o and_o very_o much_o favour_n and_o mercy_n of_o almighty_a god_n for_o this_o purpose_n now_o therefore_o to_o speak_v of_o the_o beginning_n of_o such_o as_o be_v already_o resolve_v to_o go_v in_o search_n after_o so_o great_a a_o blessing_n and_o to_o obtain_v what_o they_o aspire_v to_o in_o the_o end_n for_o as_o for_o that_o whereof_o i_o be_v go_v once_o to_o speak_v concern_v mystical_a theology_n for_o so_o i_o think_v it_o be_v call_v i_o will_v treat_v thereof_o afterward_o the_o great_a and_o great_a trouble_n consist_v ever_o in_o these_o very_a beginning_n for_o those_o be_v they_o which_o cost_v most_o when_o a_o soul_n come_v to_o give_v our_o lord_n the_o whole_a stock_n and_o in_o the_o other_o degree_n of_o prayer_n which_o follow_v the_o most_o part_n of_o that_o which_o pass_v be_v
any_o because_o then_o our_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o multiply_v our_o virtue_n by_o that_o mean_n the_o twelve_o chapter_n she_o prosecute_v her_o discourse_n of_o the_o first_o state_n or_o degree_n of_o prayer_n and_o declare_v how_o far_o we_o may_v arrive_v of_o ourselves_o by_o the_o favour_n of_o our_o lord_n and_o of_o the_o hurt_n it_o bring_v to_o desire_v that_o our_o spirit_n may_v rise_v to_o supernatural_a and_o extraordinary_a thing_n till_o our_o lord_n himself_o be_v please_v to_o ordain_v it_o that_o which_o i_o pretend_v to_o give_v to_o be_v understand_v in_o the_o last_o chapter_n though_o yet_o i_o divert_v myself_o much_o upon_o other_o thing_n in_o regard_n that_o i_o think_v they_o very_o necessary_a be_v to_o declare_v how_o much_o we_o may_v be_v able_a to_o acquire_v and_o how_o in_o this_o first_o part_n of_o our_o devotion_n we_o may_v to_o some_o proportion_n help_v ourselves_o because_o the_o consider_v and_o ruminate_v upon_o that_o which_o our_o lord_n suffer_v for_o we_o be_v wont_a to_o move_v we_o to_o compassion_n and_o the_o sorrow_n and_o tear_n which_o grow_v from_o thence_o be_v a_o very_a savoury_a and_o delightful_a kind_n of_o thing_n and_o so_o to_o think_v of_o the_o glory_n for_o which_o we_o hope_v and_o of_o the_o love_n which_o our_o lord_n bear_v we_o as_o also_o of_o his_o resurrection_n move_v we_o to_o joy_n which_o be_v neither_o whole_o spiritual_a nor_o whole_o sensual_a but_o this_o be_v a_o virtuous_a kind_n of_o joy_n on_o the_o one_o side_n as_o on_o the_o other_o that_o former_a pain_n be_v very_o meritorious_a and_o of_o this_o sort_n be_v all_o those_o thing_n which_o cause_n any_o such_o devotion_n as_o be_v acquire_v in_o part_n by_o the_o understanding_n though_o yet_o there_o be_v no_o merit_n nor_o gain_v therein_o unless_o almighty_a god_n be_v please_v to_o give_v it_o but_o now_o it_o will_v be_v very_o fit_a for_o a_o soul_n which_o our_o lord_n have_v not_o raise_v any_o high_a not_o to_o procure_v to_o exalt_v herself_o and_o let_v this_o be_v very_o well_o note_v for_o the_o contrary_a course_n will_v help_v she_o to_o nothing_o but_o loss_n in_o this_o degree_n or_o state_n she_o may_v perform_v many_o good_a act_n by_o way_n of_o resolve_v to_o do_v great_a thing_n for_o almighty_a god_n and_o to_o awake_v and_o stirr-up_a her_o love_n and_o other_o also_o by_o way_n of_o assist_v herself_o to_o grow-up_a in_o several_a virtue_n according_a to_o what_o be_v contain_v in_o a_o certain_a book_n call_v the_o art_n of_o serve_v god_n which_o be_v a_o very_a good_a one_o and_o very_o proper_a for_o such_o as_o find_v themselves_o in_o this_o state_n because_o the_o understanding_n do_v act_n and_o exercise_v itself_o here_o she_o may_v also_o represent_v herself_o as_o in_o the_o presence_n of_o christ_n our_o lord_n and_o accustom_v herself_o to_o be_v great_o enamour_v with_o his_o most_o sacred_a humanity_n and_o to_o be_v ever_o carry_v that_o along_o in_o her_o company_n and_o to_o be_v often_o speak_v to_o it_o and_o to_o beg_v his_o continual_a assistance_n in_o all_o her_o necessity_n and_o even_o to_o complain_v to_o he_o of_o her_o affliction_n and_o to_o joy_v with_o he_o for_o her_o contentment_n and_o gust_n but_o yet_o not_o to_o forget_v he_o upon_o occasion_n thereof_o and_o all_o this_o without_o procure_v to_o express_v herself_o in_o any_o set_v kind_a of_o prayer_n but_o to_o make_v use_n of_o such_o word_n alone_o as_o may_v have_v conformity_n with_o her_o own_o necessity_n and_o desire_n this_o be_v a_o note_n excellent_a way_n of_o find_v profit_n and_o that_o in_o a_o very_a short_a time_n and_o whosoever_o shall_v earnest_o labour_v to_o carry_v this_o precious_a company_n with_o himself_o and_o shall_v have_v proceed_v well_o therein_o and_o shall_v have_v find_v the_o way_n of_o love_a in_o very_o good_a earnest_n this_o lord_n of_o we_o to_o who_o we_o owe_v so_o much_o i_o will_v give_v and_o pass_v my_o word_n that_o this_o person_n be_v a_o very_a good_a proficient_a for_o this_o purpose_n let_v it_o not_o trouble_v we_o a_o whitt_n not_o to_o find_v ourselves_o with_o sensible_a devotion_n as_o i_o have_v say_v but_o let_v we_o give_v thanks_n to_o our_o lord_n for_o give_v we_o so_o good_a desire_n to_o please_v he_o though_o our_o work_n be_v weak_a this_o way_n of_o carry_v christ_n our_o lord_n in_o our_o company_n be_v very_o useful_a in_o all_o the_o four_o state_n and_o degree_n of_o prayer_n it_o be_v a_o most_o secure_a and_o safe_a mean_n to_o go_v profit_v in_o the_o first_o degree_n and_o that_o we_o shall_v get_v quick_o to_o the_o second_o and_o then_o to_o be_v free_a also_o in_o the_o two_o last_o from_o those_o danger_n which_o the_o devil_n may_v provide_v for_o us._n for_o this_o in_o fine_a be_v that_o which_o we_o may_v be_v able_a to_o do_v and_o for_o any_o body_n to_o passe-up_a from_o hence_o and_o to_o exalt_v his_o spirit_n towards_o the_o feel_n of_o certain_a gust_n which_o be_v not_o allow_v he_o be_v but_o in_o my_o opinion_n to_o loose_v both_o the_o one_o and_o the_o other_o because_o in_o fine_a that_o be_v all_o supernatural_a and_o so_o the_o understanding_n be_v at_o a_o stand_v and_o lose_v the_o soul_n remain_v all_o desolate_a and_o with_o great_a dryness_n and_o since_o this_o whole_a building_n be_v ground_v upon_o humility_n the_o near_o we_o grow_v to_o almighty_a god_n the_o more_o shall_v we_o proceed_v and_o profit_n in_o this_o virtue_n and_o if_o we_o do_v not_o this_o all_o be_v lose_v and_o it_o seem_v to_o be_v no_o better_o than_o a_o kind_n of_o pride_n if_o we_o desire_v to_o get-up_a to_o a_o high_a rank_n since_o god_n do_v we_o but_o too_o much_o honour_n and_o favour_n consider_v how_o unworthy_a we_o be_v in_o suffer_v we_o to_o be_v so_o near_o to_o himself_o but_o now_o it_o must_v not_o be_v so_o understand_v as_o if_o i_o speak_v all_o this_o against_o raising-up_a our_o thought_n to_o consider_v the_o high_a thing_n of_o heaven_n or_o of_o god_n or_o of_o the_o greatness_n which_o be_v there_o above_o as_o also_o of_o his_o incomparable_a wisdom_n for_o though_o i_o never_o do_v this_o because_o i_o have_v no_o ability_n for_o this_o purpose_n as_o i_o have_v say_v and_o i_o find_v myself_o so_o miserable_a and_o so_o mean_a that_o god_n do_v i_o particular_a favour_n to_o enable_v i_o to_o think_v of_o earthly_a thing_n by_o mean_n whereof_o i_o may_v come_v afterward_o to_o understand_v this_o truth_n for_o even_o this_o be_v no_o small_a adventure_n for_o i_o and_o how_o much_o more_o be_v it_o so_o to_o consider_v celestial_a thing_n yet_o other_o may_v take_v benefit_n hereby_o and_o especial_o if_o they_o have_v learning_n and_o knowledge_n which_o be_v in_o my_o opinion_n a_o great_a treasure_n towards_o this_o exercise_n of_o prayer_n if_o it_o be_v accompany_v with_o humility_n i_o have_v see_v the_o truth_n of_o this_o very_o late_o by_o occasion_n of_o some_o learned_a man_n who_o begin_v not_o long_o ago_o and_o yet_o have_v proceed_v and_o profit_v very_o much_o which_o make_v i_o have_v a_o earnest_n and_o even_o a_o kind_n of_o impatient_a desire_n that_o many_o such_o as_o be_v learned_a will_v grow_v to_o be_v very_o spiritual_a man_n whereof_o i_o shall_v give_v the_o reason_n hereafter_o but_o now_o that_o which_o i_o have_v say_v namely_o that_o man_n must_v not_o exalt_v themselves_o to_o rise_v high_o than_o god_n do_v raise_v they_o be_v a_o certain_a kind_n of_o language_n of_o spirit_n and_o he_o will_v understand_v i_o who_o have_v experience_n of_o it_o but_o as_o for_o i_o i_o know_v not_o how_o to_o express_v it_o if_o he_o know_v not_o how_o to_o understand_v i_o by_o what_o i_o have_v say_v in_o mystical_a theology_n whereof_o i_o begin_v to_o speak_v the_o understanding_n cease_v from_o work_v because_o almighty_a god_n themselves_o suspend_v it_o as_o i_o will_v declare_v hereafter_o if_o i_o be_v able_a and_o if_o he_o give_v i_o grace_n for_o that_o purpose_n but_o as_o for_o we_o to_o presume_v yea_o or_o so_o much_o as_o to_o think_v of_o suspend_v it_o be_v that_o which_o i_o be_o say_v we_o shall_v not_o do_v nor_o must_v we_o leave_v to_o act_v and_o work_v thereby_o and_o therewith_o for_o if_o we_o do_v we_o shall_v be_v stupid_a and_o sottish_a and_o cold_a and_o we_o shall_v effect_v neither_o the_o one_o nor_o the_o other_o but_o when_o our_o lord_n suspend_v and_o stopp_n it_o he_o furnish_v it_o with_o matter_n upon_o which_o the_o party_n may_v employ_v himself_o and_o at_o which_o he_o may_v be_v amaze_v and_o he_o make_v he_o understand_v more_o in_o the_o time_n and_o space_n of_o say_v one_o
but_o as_o for_o beginner_n learned_a man_n if_o they_o possess_v not_o the_o use_n of_o prayer_n can_v be_v of_o little_a profit_n to_o they_o yet_o i_o say_v not_o that_o they_o shall_v not_o treat_v and_o confer_v with_o such_o man_n as_o be_v learned_a for_o as_o for_o have_v a_o spirit_n which_o shall_v not_o be_v first_o settle_v in_o a_o way_n of_o truth_n for_o my_o part_n i_o have_v rather_o have_v it_o without_o prayer_n for_o learning_n be_v a_o great_a matter_n since_o it_o instruct_v we_o who_o know_v little_a and_o bring_v we_o light_a and_o when_o we_o approach_v near_o to_o the_o truth_n of_o holy_a scripture_n we_o begin_v to_o do_v that_o which_o we_o ought_v but_o as_o for_o silly_a and_o foolish_a devotion_n our_o lord_n deliver_v we_o from_o they_o i_o will_v declare_v myself_o yet_o better_a for_o i_o fear_v i_o put_v myself_o upon_o too_o many_o thing_n at_o once_o though_o i_o ever_o want_v mean_n to_o know_v how_o to_o give_v myself_o to_o be_v well_o 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without_o the_o exercise_n of_o prayer_n be_v not_o to_o the_o purpose_n for_o they_o who_o use_v prayer_n for_o i_o have_v deal_v with_o many_o and_o for_o some_o of_o these_o latter_a year_n i_o have_v endeavour_v it_o the_o more_o because_o then_o i_o find_v myself_o in_o more_o necessity_n but_o i_o be_v ever_o much_o a_o friend_n of_o learned_a man_n for_o though_o some_o of_o they_o have_v not_o experience_n yet_o they_o hate_v not_o spiritual_a people_n nor_o be_v not_o ignorant_a what_o these_o thing_n mean_v because_o they_o ever_o find_v this_o truth_n that_o there_o be_v such_o a_o thing_n as_o a_o good_a spirit_n by_o holy_a scripture_n wherein_o they_o be_v continual_o verse_v and_o as_o for_o i_o i_o hold_v that_o a_o person_n who_o exercise_n prayer_n and_o will_v treat_v with_o learned_a man_n shall_v never_o be_v deceive_v by_o illusion_n of_o the_o devil_n if_o he_o have_v not_o a_o mind_n to_o deceive_v himself_o for_o i_o believe_v that_o the_o devil_n be_v mighty_o afraid_a of_o learning_n whensoever_o it_o be_v accompany_v with_o humility_n and_o virtue_n for_o he_o know_v that_o he_o shall_v be_v discover_v in_o the_o end_n and_o that_o so_o he_o shall_v come_v to_o loose_v by_o the_o bargain_n and_o now_o i_o have_v say_v thus_o much_o because_o i_o know_v there_o be_v opinion_n that_o learned_a man_n be_v not_o fit_a for_o person_n of_o prayer_n unless_o they_o be_v also_o of_o spirit_n already_o i_o have_v signify_v that_o it_o will_v be_v necessary_a to_o have_v a_o spiritual_a director_n but_o if_o he_o prove_v not_o to_o be_v learn_v the_o inconvenience_n will_v be_v great_a &_o yet_o it_o will_v be_v of_o much_o help_n to_o treat_v with_o learned_a man_n so_o that_o they_o be_v virtuous_a for_o though_o they_o be_v not_o spiritual_a as_o in_o this_o case_n we_o understand_v spiritual_a they_o will_v yet_o be_v able_a to_o benefit_v we_o and_o god_n will_v vouchsafe_v to_o enable_v they_o to_o teach_v we_o yea_o and_o so_o may_v perhaps_o by_o degree_n grow_v even_o to_o make_v they_o also_o become_v spiritual_a to_o the_o end_n that_o they_o may_v be_v able_a to_o instruct_v we_o the_o better_a and_o i_o speak_v not_o this_o without_o some_o trial_n for_o the_o occasion_n have_v happen_v to_o i_o with_o more_o then_z two_o i_o say_v therefore_o that_o if_o a_o soul_n resolve_v to_o render_v itself_o to_o be_v entire_o subject_a to_o the_o order_n of_o any_o one_o director_n she_o shall_v err_v very_o much_o unless_o she_o procure_v in_o particular_a manner_n that_o he_o be_v learned_a especial_o if_o he_o be_v a_o religious_a man_n of_o any_o order_n because_o such_o a_o one_o be_v to_o be_v subject_a to_o his_o prelate_n or_o superior_a and_o in_o that_o case_n peradventure_o all_o those_o three_o aforesaid_a part_n which_o be_v say_v to_o be_v so_o necessary_a for_o a_o director_n will_v be_v want_v to_o he_o which_o will_v be_v no_o little_a cross_n to_o the_o party_n beside_o that_o he_o may_v perhaps_o find_v 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be_v not_o learned_a be_v always_o to_o give_v god_n infinite_a thanks_n for_o that_o there_o be_v some_o in_o the_o world_n who_o take_v so_o great_a pain_n and_o trouble_v to_o obtain_v the_o knowledge_n of_o truth_n whereof_o such_o as_o be_v not_o learned_a be_v ignorant_a and_o it_o amaze_v i_o many_o time_n to_o see_v religious_a man_n who_o be_v learn_v and_o particular_o to_o consider_v with_o how_o much_o trouble_n they_o grow_v to_o gain_v all_o that_o knowledge_n which_o be_v to_o bring_v i_o so_o much_o profit_n without_o any_o more_o trouble_n of_o i_o then_o only_o to_o ask_v they_o the_o question_n and_o yet_o that_o we_o shall_v not_o benefit_v ourselves_o by_o it_o but_o let_v not_o god_n permit_v that_o still_o it_o shall_v continue_v to_o be_v so_o for_o i_o see_v they_o subject_n to_o the_o trouble_n and_o mortification_n of_o a_o religious_a life_n which_o be_v very_o great_a with_o pennance_n with_o ill_a diet_n with_o hard_a lodging_n with_o be_v subject_n in_o all_o thing_n to_o obedience_n and_o in_o fine_a i_o so_o perceive_v that_o all_o be_v affliction_n and_o all_o cross_n that_o real_o the_o thought_n thereof_o do_v cast_v i_o sometime_o into_o confusion_n and_o i_o think_v it_o must_v be_v a_o great_a misery_n that_o any_o body_n shall_v loose_v so_o important_a a_o benefit_n by_o his_o own_o fault_n it_o be_v possible_a that_o some_o of_o we_o who_o be_v free_a from_o these_o austerity_n whereof_o i_o speak_v or_o at_o least_o if_o we_o feed_v upon_o they_o we_o will_v needs_o have_v they_o fine_o dress_v after_o our_o own_o fancy_n and_o so_o will_v live_v as_o we_o list_v ourselves_o conceive_v that_o
here_o of_o what_o it_o may_v import_v if_o such_o person_n be_v to_o preach_v or_o teach_v other_o for_o than_o it_o will_v be_v fit_a to_o serve_v themselves_o of_o that_o advantage_n towards_o the_o assist_a of_o their_o neighbour_n to_o that_o good_a and_o to_o help_v also_o poor_a people_n who_o know_v very_o little_a like_v i_o for_o charity_n be_v a_o very_a great_a matter_n and_o so_o be_v this_o help_a soul_n forward_o so_o that_o always_o it_o be_v do_v pure_o for_o god_n but_o now_o in_o these_o time_n of_o possess_v this_o great_a quiet_a let_v the_o soul_n be_v suffer_v to_o remain_v in_o rest_n with_o her_o true_a repose_n and_o let_v learning_n be_v lay_v aside_o for_o time_n will_v come_v afterward_o when_o it_o will_v fallout_a to_o be_v hold_v in_o so_o high_a account_n that_o they_o will_v by_o no_o mean_n have_v miss_v that_o treasure_n of_o knowledge_n if_o it_o be_v but_o only_o for_o the_o power_n it_o give_v they_o to_o do_v more_o and_o better_a service_n to_o his_o divine_a majesty_n for_o it_o assist_v very_o much_o in_o order_n to_o that_o excellent_a end_n but_o yet_o believe_v i_o still_o that_o in_o the_o presence_n of_o that_o infinite_a wisdom_n a_o very_a little_a attention_n to_o exercise_v humility_n &_o one_o single_a act_n of_o that_o virtue_n be_v more_o worth_a than_o all_o the_o knowledge_n of_o the_o whole_a world_n for_o here_o there_o be_v no_o room_n for_o dispute_v of_o question_n or_o argue_v case_n but_o only_o to_o know_v with_o truth_n and_o plainness_n what_o we_o be_v &_o to_o represent_v ourselves_o with_o great_a simplicity_n in_o the_o sight_n of_o almighty_a god_n who_o desire_n that_o the_o soul_n shall_v make_v herself_o as_o very_o ignorant_a and_o silly_a as_o in_o very_a deed_n she_o be_v when_o once_o she_o come_v to_o appear_v in_o his_o presence_n since_o his_o divine_a majesty_n descend_v so_o much_o below_o himself_o as_o to_o endure_v she_o near_o his_o own_o person_n all_o we_o be_v that_o which_o we_o be_v the_o understanding_n will_v also_o move_v itself_o here_o to_o give_v certain_a thanks_n to_o almighty_a god_n which_o may_v be_v handsome_o order_v and_o compose_v but_o the_o will_n with_o a_o certain_a kind_n of_o quiet_a and_o peace_n and_o with_o a_o not_o dare_v like_o the_o publican_n of_o the_o gospel_n so_o much_o as_o lift-up_a her_o eye_n pay_v yet_o more_o retribution_n of_o thanks_n than_o the_o understanding_n perhaps_o know_v how_o to_o do_v with_o revolve_v all_o the_o rhetoric_n in_o the_o world_n but_o in_o fine_a we_o be_v not_o total_o in_o this_o case_n to_o forbear_v to_o make_v mental_a prayer_n no_o nor_o yet_o sometime_o to_o use_v some_o vocal_a word_n if_o we_o will_v and_o can_v and_o i_o say_v can_v because_o if_o the_o quiet_v be_v great_a and_o deep_a they_o will_v hardly_o enough_o be_v able_a to_o speak_v without_o make_v it_o cost_v they_o much_o pain_n in_o bad_a my_o opinion_n we_o may_v well_o understand_v when_o this_o be_v of_o the_o 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light_n in_o the_o understanding_n or_o a_o constant_a love_n of_o truth_n in_o the_o will._n and_o this_o will_v do_v a_o soul_n either_o very_a little_a hurt_n or_o none_o at_o all_o if_o she_o direct_v and_o address_v the_o suavitie_n and_o delight_n which_o then_o she_o feel_v to_o the_o glory_n of_o almighty_a god_n and_o if_o she_o lodge_v her_o thought_n and_o desire_n upon_o he_o as_o i_o have_v former_o advise_v the_o devil_n will_v gain_v little_a by_o the_o bargain_n nay_o rather_o almighty_a god_n will_v so_o dispose_v of_o thing_n that_o he_o shall_v loose_v much_o even_o by_o that_o very_a delight_n which_o he_o cause_v in_o her_o soul_n for_o this_o very_a delight_n shall_v be_v a_o mean_n to_o make_v that_o soul_n which_o conceive_v that_o it_o proceed_v from_o god_n to_o come_v again_o often_o to_o prayer_n with_o desire_n to_o receive_v more_o delight_n or_o else_o if_o the_o soul_n be_v very_o humble_a and_o not_o withal_o very_o curious_a nor_o very_o much_o interest_v in_o take_v delight_n though_o even_o they_o be_v spiritual_a but_o be_v indeed_o a_o true_a friend_n to_o the_o cross_n she_o will_v make_v very_o little_a account_n of_o any_o gust_n which_o the_o devil_n can_v give_v she_o which_o yet_o she_o shall_v never_o be_v able_a to_o do_v if_o indeed_o it_o be_v the_o spirit_n of_o god_n for_o in_o that_o case_n she_o will_v ever_o be_v sure_a to_o hold_v it_o in_o very_o high_a account_n now_o when_o the_o devil_n propound_v such_o a_o business_n since_o he_o be_v all_o make_v of_o lie_n whensoever_o he_o see_v a_o soul_n abase_v and_o humble_v herself_o by_o mean_n of_o that_o delight_n and_o gust_n which_o she_o receave_v for_o indeed_o we_o be_v to_o have_v very_o great_a care_n to_o procure_v to_o prove_v very_o humble_a upon_o all_o the_o occasion_n of_o prayer_n and_o gust_n the_o devil_n will_v not_o return_v to_o tempt_v we_o very_o often_o when_o he_o consider_v how_o much_o he_o lose_v by_o the_o endeavour_n for_o this_o reason_n and_o upon_o many_o other_o consideration_n do_v i_o advertise_v in_o the_o first_o degree_n and_o state_n of_o prayer_n which_o answer_v to_o the_o first_o way_n of_o draw_v water_n in_o the_o garden_n that_o it_o be_v a_o all_o principal_a business_n when_o the_o soul_n be_v enter_v first_o upon_o prayer_n to_o begin_v to_o untie_v herself_o from_o the_o desire_n of_o all_o kind_n of_o sensible_a contentment_n and_o to_o enter_v upon_o this_o only_o resolution_n to_o help_v our_o lord_n jesus_n to_o carry_v his_o cross_n like_o good_a cavalier_n who_o be_v resolve_v to_o serve_v their_o king_n without_o wage_n since_o they_o be_v so_o sure_a of_o he_o as_o they_o be_v and_o we_o be_v also_o still_o to_o carry_v our_o eye_n upon_o that_o true_a and_o everlasting_a kingdom_n which_o we_o procure_v to_o acquire_v it_o be_v a_o very_a great_a point_n to_o have_v this_o ever_o in_o view_n and_o especial_o in_o the_o beginning_n for_o afterward_o it_o be_v see_v so_o very_o clear_o that_o it_o may_v rather_o be_v fit_a to_o forget_v it_o to_o the_o end_n that_o we_o may_v be_v able_a even_o to_o live_v then_o procure_v to_o be_v remember_v that_o the_o world_n be_v to_o last_v very_o little_a and_o that_o all_o in_o fine_a be_v nothing_o and_o that_o here_o the_o ease_n and_o rest_n which_o we_o can_v have_v be_v to_o be_v esteem_v for_o nothing_o this_o may_v seem_v to_o be_v a_o very_a poor_a and_o base_a consideration_n and_o so_o indeed_o it_o be_v for_o they_o who_o have_v proceed_v to_o more_o perfection_n will_v take_v it_o for_o a_o affront_n and_o will_v even_o blush_v and_o be_v ashamed_a among_o themselves_o if_o they_o think_v they_o forsake_v the_o good_n of_o this_o world_n because_o they_o must_v come_v once_o to_o have_v a_o end_n for_o although_o those_o good_n be_v to_o last_v always_o they_o will_v yet_o rejoice_v to_o leave_v they_o for_o the_o love_n of_o our_o lord_n and_o still_o the_o more_o perfect_a they_o be_v they_o will_v rejoice_v so_o much_o the_o more_o yea_o &_o the_o more_o also_o will_v they_o rejoice_v the_o long_o they_o believe_v they_o be_v to_o last_o in_o these_o man_n this_o love_n be_v already_o growne-up_a to_o strength_n and_o it_o be_v this_o which_o work_v most_o but_o for_o such_o as_o be_v but_o beginner_n it_o be_v a_o point_n of_o high_a importance_n and_o they_o must_v by_o no_o mean_n hold_v it_o for_o low_a to_o be_v content_a to_o leave_v all_o gust_n for_o god_n for_o the_o benefit_n which_o be_v gain_v by_o this_o consideration_n be_v great_a and_o therefore_o do_v i_o advise_v it_o so_o much_o nay_o even_o those_o other_o who_o be_v most_o elevate_v and_o accomplish_v in_o prayer_n will_v have_v
need_n also_o of_o such_o consideration_n as_o these_o and_o there_o be_v time_n when_o almighty_a god_n will_v try_v they_o nay_o it_o will_v seem_v as_o if_o this_o divine_a majesty_n will_v forsake_v they_o for_o as_o i_o have_v say_v already_o and_o i_o will_v fain_o not_o have_v it_o be_v forget_v the_o soul_n in_o this_o life_n which_o we_o live_v increase_v not_o as_o the_o body_n do_v though_o yet_o we_o say_v it_o do_v and_o real_o it_o do_v increase_v but_o yet_o a_o child_n after_o he_o be_v grow_v and_o become_v tall_a and_o prove_v to_o be_v already_o a_o man_n return_v not_o to_o decrease_v again_o and_o to_o have_v a_o little_a body_n yet_o now_o in_o the_o point_n of_o a_o soul_n our_o lord_n will_v have_v it_o be_v otherwise_o by_o what_o i_o have_v see_v of_o myself_o for_o i_o know_v it_o not_o in_o respect_n of_o other_o and_o it_o ought_v to_o humble_v we_o for_o our_o own_o great_a good_a and_o to_o the_o end_n also_o that_o we_o may_v not_o be_v negligent_a as_o 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have_v no_o hand_n therein_o and_o though_o they_o shall_v even_o return_v to_o fall_v again_o there_o will_v yet_o remain_v one_o sign_n that_o our_o lord_n have_v be_v there_o which_o be_v that_o they_o will_v quick_o rise_v again_o beside_o these_o other_o which_o i_o shall_v now_o declare_v when_o it_o be_v the_o spirit_n of_o almighty_a god_n there_o will_v be_v no_o need_n at_o all_o to_o go_v in_o quest_n and_o send_v after_o certain_a reason_n to_o draw_v humility_n and_o confusion_n from_o thence_o for_o our_o bless_a lord_n himself_o be_v wont_a to_o impart_v it_o in_o those_o case_n after_o a_o very_a different_a manner_n from_o that_o which_o ourselves_o can_v procure_v by_o any_o pretty_a little_a consideration_n of_o our_o own_o all_o which_o be_v nothing_o in_o comparison_n of_o a_o certain_a true_a prayer_n humility_n that_o come_v along_o with_o a_o light_n which_o our_o lord_n instruct_v we_o in_o here_o and_o which_o breed_v such_o a_o real_a confusion_n in_o we_o as_o even_o do_v entire_o defeat_v us._n and_o the_o knowledge_n which_o almighty_a god_n be_v wont_a to_o give_v we_o to_o the_o end_n that_o we_o may_v perfect_o understand_v that_o we_o have_v no_o good_a at_o all_o of_o ourselves_o be_v a_o thing_n very_o sufficient_o perceive_v and_o still_o so_o much_o the_o more_o as_o we_o receive_v the_o high_a favour_n from_o his_o hand_n it_o also_o impart_v to_o a_o man_n a_o very_a great_a desire_n to_o proceed_v in_o prayer_n and_o he_o will_v not_o give_v it_o over_o for_o any_o trouble_n which_o may_v possible_o succeed_v to_o he_o he_o offer_v himself_o and_o be_v ready_a to_o endure_v all_o thing_n he_o have_v also_o a_o kind_n of_o assure_a hope_n that_o he_o shall_v be_v save_v though_o yet_o still_o not_o without_o humility_n and_o fear_n by_o this_o time_n he_o also_o instant_o forsake_v all_o kind_n of_o servile_a fear_n of_o his_o soul_n and_o it_o give_v a_o great_a deal_n of_o growth_n to_o a_o filial_a fear_n in_o stead_n thereof_o he_o see_v that_o now_o he_o begin_v to_o bear_v a_o certain_a love_n towards_o almighty_a god_n which_o be_v far_o from_o any_o interest_n of_o his_o own_o &_o he_o covet_v to_o get_v time_n for_o solitude_n that_o so_o he_o may_v have_v the_o better_a opportunity_n to_o enjoy_v that_o good_a in_o fine_a that_o i_o may_v not_o weary_v myself_o too_o much_o this_o be_v a_o direct_a beginning_n of_o all_o good_a thing_n a_o state_n wherein_o the_o flower_n be_v now_o upon_o the_o very_a point_n to_o blossom_n and_o all_o this_o the_o soul_n see_v very_o clear_o and_o can_v by_o no_o mean_n at_o that_o time_n conceive_v but_o that_o god_n be_v and_o will_v be_v with_o she_o till_o such_o time_n as_o she_o shall_v return_v to_o find_v herself_o guilty_a of_o fayling_n and_o imperfection_n towards_o he_o for_o in_o that_o case_n she_o fear_v all_o thing_n and_o it_o be_v fit_a that_o she_o do_v so_o though_o yet_o there_o be_v mind_n soul_n in_o the_o world_n to_o which_o it_o 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right_a in_o this_o kind_n for_o beside_o the_o experience_n which_o i_o have_v whereby_o i_o come_v to_o understand_v many_o thing_n i_o know_v somewhat_o by_o mean_n of_o some_o learned_a man_n who_o indeed_o be_v very_o learned_a and_o of_o some_o person_n be_v also_o who_o be_v very_o holy_a to_o who_o it_o be_v great_a reason_n to_o give_v beleif_n and_o therefore_o let_v not_o other_o soul_n be_v so_o very_a much_o afflict_v and_o vex_v as_o i_o have_v be_v when_o once_o through_o the_o goodness_n of_o almighty_a god_n they_o shall_v be_v come_v on_o so_o far_o as_o to_o find_v themselves_o in_o this_o state_n the_o sixteen_o chapter_n she_o treat_v of_o the_o three_o degree_n of_o prayer_n and_o go_v declare_v some_o very_a high_a point_n and_o what_o a_o soul_n which_o arrive_v thus_o far_o may_v be_v able_a to_o do_v and_o what_o effect_n these_o so_o great_a favour_n of_o our_o lord_n be_v accustom_v to_o work_n the_o sense_n hereof_o be_v very_o fit_a to_o raise_v the_o spirit_n high_a in_o the_o praise_n of_o almighty_a god_n and_o it_o be_v also_o of_o great_a consolation_n for_o the_o soul_n which_o arrive_v to_o this_o state_n let_v we_o now_o come_v to_o speak_v of_o the_o three_o water_n wherewith_o this_o garden_n be_v water_v for_o this_o be_v a_o run_a water_n of_o a_o river_n or_o spring_n and_o it_o water_v it_o with_o much_o less_o labour_n though_o yet_o the_o distribution_n thereof_o cause_v some_o our_o lord_n will_v here_o so_o help_v the_o gardener_n that_o in_o some_o sort_n he_o will_v be_v as_o it_o be_v the_o gardener_n himself_o and_o in_o effect_n the_o doer_n of_o all_o this_o be_v
soul_n do_v at_o that_o time_n and_o our_o lord_n say_v this_o to_o i_o in_o these_o word_n it_o do_v my_o daughter_n dissolve_v and_o defeat_v itself_o to_o be_v so_o the_o more_o ingulfed_a in_o i_o for_o now_o it_o be_v no_o long_o she_o who_o live_v but_o i_o and_o since_o she_o can_v comprehend_v that_o which_o she_o understand_v her_o very_a understanding_n it_o after_o a_o kind_n of_o moral_a way_n which_o she_o do_v be_v real_o a_o not_o understand_v it_o after_o a_o strict_a &_o comprehensive_a way_n which_o she_o be_v not_o able_a to_o do_v he_o who_o shall_v have_v have_v trial_n of_o this_o by_o experience_n will_v be_v able_a to_o arrive_v to_o the_o expression_n of_o some_o part_n thereof_o but_o as_o for_o i_o i_o can_v deliver_v that_o more_o clear_o which_o pass_v here_o since_o it_o be_v so_o very_o obscure_a i_o can_v only_o say_v that_o in_o this_o case_n their_o be_v then_o so_o close_o to_o almighty_a god_n be_v represent_v to_o they_o and_o there_o remain_v such_o a_o kind_n of_o certainty_n thereof_o that_o it_o can_v possible_o fail_v to_o be_v believe_v and_o now_o here_o all_o the_o power_n of_o the_o soul_n fall_v short_a of_o operation_n and_o be_v suspend_v in_o such_o sort_n that_o by_o no_o mean_n as_o i_o have_v say_v it_o can_v possible_o be_v understand_v that_o they_o work_v if_o she_o be_v think_v of_o some_o mystery_n it_o be_v instant_o so_o forget_v as_o if_o there_o have_v never_o beme_fw-mi any_o such_o thought_n if_o she_o be_v read_v there_o be_v no_o remembrance_n of_o it_o nor_o yet_o of_o pause_v and_o if_o pray_v vocal_o in_o like_a manner_n so_o that_o now_o this_o importunate_a little_a gnatt_n of_o the_o memory_n have_v her_o wing_n burn_v here_o and_o can_v now_o no_o long_o spring-up_a nor_o stir_v the_o will_v also_o be_v now_o employ_v all_o in_o love_v though_o it_o understand_v not_o how_o it_o love_v the_o understanding_n if_o it_o understand_v it_o be_v not_o yet_o understand_v how_o it_o understand_v 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to_o be_v direct_o present_a otherwise_o and_o thus_o i_o continue_v with_o some_o trouble_n but_o at_o length_n a_o great_a learned_a man_n of_o the_o order_n of_o the_o glorious_a s._n dominick_n free_v i_o from_o this_o doubt_n and_o tell_v i_o not_o only_o that_o he_o be_v present_a but_o that_o he_o also_o communicate_v himself_o to_o we_o which_o comfort_v i_o very_o much_o but_o now_o it_o be_v here_o to_o be_v note_v and_o understand_v that_o this_o celestial_a water_n be_v always_o a_o most_o eminent_a favour_n of_o our_o lord_n and_o give_v the_o soul_n excessive_o great_a advantage_n as_o i_o shall_v now_o declare_v the_o nineteen_o chapter_n she_o prosecute_v the_o same_o discourse_n and_o begin_v to_o declare_v the_o effect_n which_o this_o degree_n of_o prayer_n work_n in_o the_o soul_n she_o persuade_v man_n earnest_o not_o to_o turn_v back_o nor_o to_o give-ove_a their_o prayer_n though_o they_o shall_v happen_v to_o fall_v even_o after_o they_o have_v receive_v these_o favour_n she_o speak_v of_o the_o great_a harm_n which_o will_v arrive_v to_o they_o if_o they_o do_v otherwise_o this_o discourse_n be_v much_o to_o be_v note_v and_o it_o be_v of_o great_a consolation_n for_o weak_a person_n and_o sinner_n the_o soul_n do_v in_o this_o prayer_n and_o union_n remain_v with_o a_o excessive_a kind_n of_o tenderness_n in_o such_o sort_n that_o she_o will_v feign_v even_o defeat_v and_o dissolve_v herself_o not_o through_o pain_n or_o trouble_v but_o by_o abundance_n of_o tear_n of_o joy_n wherein_o she_o be_v bathe_v without_o so_o much_o as_o feel_v or_o know_v how_o or_o when_o she_o weep_v they_o it_o give_v she_o a_o great_a delight_n to_o find_v the_o impetuous_a force_n of_o that_o fire_n appease_v and_o allay_v by_o water_n which_o yet_o make_v it_o increase_v so_o much_o the_o more_o this_o language_n of_o i_o may_v seem_v to_o be_v a_o kind_n of_o gibberish_n but_o yet_o thus_o stand_v the_o case_n it_o have_v happen_v to_o i_o sometime_o when_o i_o be_v in_o this_o part_n of_o this_o prayer_n to_o be_v so_o prayer_n whole_o out_o of_o myself_o as_o that_o i_o know_v not_o whether_o i_o be_v awake_a or_o asleep_o or_o whither_o in_o very_a deed_n i_o have_v be_v in_o that_o glory_n which_o i_o feel_v and_o whether_o it_o be_v true_a that_o i_o be_v indeed_o so_o all_o bathe_v in_o water_n which_o distil_v with_o such_o force_n and_o speed_n from_o my_o eye_n that_o it_o seem_v as_o if_o a_o very_a cloud_n of_o heaven_n have_v rain_v it_o down_o but_o in_o fine_a i_o find_v that_o it_o be_v no_o dream_n this_o happen_v to_o be_v in_o the_o beginning_n of_o this_o prayer_n and_o it_o pass_v quick_o over_o but_o the_o soul_n remain_v so_o courageous_a thereby_o that_o if_o it_o be_v possible_a for_o she_o to_o be_v cut_v into_o a_o thousand_o piece_n for_o god_n sake_n it_o will_v be_v of_o extreme_a consolation_n to_o she_o and_o now_o here_o come_v in_o all_o her_o promise_n her_o heroical_a resolution_n the_o livelie_a efficacy_n of_o her_o desire_n her_o beginning_n to_o abhor_v the_o world_n her_o clear_o discern_v she_o own_o vanity_n and_o all_o this_o much_o more_o perfect_o and_o more_o high_o than_o it_o happen_v in_o any_o of_o her_o former_a prayer_n her_o humility_n be_v also_o grow_v much_o strong_a for_o now_o she_o very_o clear_o discern_v that_o no_o diligence_n at_o all_o of_o her_o own_o be_v any_o piece_n of_o a_o cause_n for_o bring_v she_o that_o excessive_a and_o incomparable_a favour_n nor_o for_o make_v she_o enjoy_v the_o same_o she_o see_v now_o clear_o that_o she_o be_v a_o most_o unworthy_a creature_n for_o in_o any_o room_n where_o there_o enter_v a_o strong_a and_o clear_a sunbeam_n there_o be_v not_o the_o least_o and_o thin_a cobweb_n which_o can_v lie_v hide_v she_o now_o look_v very_o clear_o upon_o her_o own_o misery_n and_o now_o she_o be_v so_o very_o free_a from_o vainglory_n that_o it_o seem_v a_o kind_n of_o impossible_a thing_n for_o she_o to_o have_v any_o because_o now_o already_o she_o have_v it_o even_o in_o her_o very_a eye_n how_o little_a she_o be_v able_a to_o perform_v or_o rather_o in_o very_a deed_n that_o it_o be_v just_o nothing_o at_o all_o and_o that_o in_o this_o case_n there_o be_v hardly_o so_o much_o as_o any_o consent_n of_o she_o but_o that_o it_o seem_v that_o even_o whether_o she_o will_v or_o no_o they_o shut_v the_o gate_n of_o all_o her_o sense_n up_o to_o the_o end_n that_o she_o may_v so_o the_o better_a enjoy_v her_o lord_n and_o that_o now_o since_o she_o remain_v all_o alone_a with_o he_o what_o can_v she_o have_v to_o do_v but_o to_o love_v he_o she_o neither_o can_v see_v nor_o hear_v unless_o she_o be_v make_v to_o do_v so_o as_o it_o be_v by_o very_o strong_a hand_n and_o therefore_o there_o be_v little_a for_o which_o to_o thank_v she_o her_o former_a life_n grow_v then_o to_o be_v represent_v to_o she_o with_o perfect_a truth_n together_o with_o the_o great_a mercy_n of_o almighty_a god_n and_o all_o this_o occurr_n to_o she_o without_o any_o necessity_n at_o all_o that_o her_o understanding_n shall_v now_o go_v hunt_v after_o it_o for_o there_o do_v she_o already_o find_v all_o this_o kind_n of_o food_n ready_a dress_v for_o she_o to_o understand_v and_o eat_v of_o herself_o she_o see_v very_o well_o that_o she_o deserve_v hellfire_n and_o that_o now_o in_o stead_n thereof_o they_o give_v she_o no_o other_o punishment_n than_o glory_n and_o therefore_o she_o do_v now_o even_o consume_v herself_o in_o the_o praise_n of_o almighty_a god_n and_o now_o will_v i_o be_v glad_a even_o to_o consume_v myself_o so_o bless_a be_v thou_o o_o
with_o they_o and_o if_o i_o can_v tell_v how_o and_o especial_o if_o i_o think_v that_o they_o will_v believe_v i_o for_o i_o recommend_v they_o very_o much_o to_o almighty_a god_n and_o i_o wish_v that_o it_o may_v do_v they_o good_a when_o a_o body_n resolve_v to_o venture_v his_o life_n he_o may_v in_o effect_n do_v what_o he_o list_v and_o i_o desire_v very_o often_o to_o loose_v i_o for_o that_o be_v to_o venture_v little_a for_o the_o gain_n of_o much_o but_o now_o one_o may_v think_v that_o there_o be_v scarce_o any_o creature_n in_o the_o world_n who_o indeed_o live_v consider_v how_o gross_o visible_a that_o great_a deceit_n and_o error_n be_v which_o we_o carry_v about_o we_o and_o with_o what_o blindness_n we_o converse_v in_o this_o world_n but_o when_o once_o the_o soul_n come_v to_o the_o pass_n of_o this_o water_n they_o be_v not_o bare_a desire_n which_o she_o carry_v for_o the_o service_n of_o almighty_a god_n for_o then_o his_o divine_a majesty_n give_v her_o strength_n also_o to_o put_v they_o in_o execution_n nor_o can_v there_o any_o such_o thing_n be_v once_o represent_v to_o she_o wherein_o she_o may_v think_v to_o serve_v he_o upon_o which_o she_o will_v not_o cast_v herself_o all_o at_o once_o and_o yet_o she_o will_v think_v all_o the_o while_n that_o she_o be_v do_v nothing_o for_o now_o she_o see_v very_o clear_o that_o all_o thing_n be_v mere_o nothing_o which_o concern_v not_o the_o give_a gust_n to_o almighty_a god_n the_o only_o trouble_n in_o this_o case_n be_v that_o there_o be_v nothing_o indeed_o deserve_v true_o the_o name_n of_o trouble_n which_o will_v offer_v itself_o to_o any_o such_o person_n as_o be_v so_o very_o unprofitable_a as_o i_o be_o but_o be_v thou_o o_o my_o eternal_a good_a so_o well_o please_v as_o that_o once_o some_o such_o little_a moment_n of_o time_n may_v occur_v as_o wherein_o i_o may_v be_v able_a to_o pay_v the_o least_o imaginable_a crumb_n of_o all_o that_o great_a service_n which_o i_o owe_v thou_o ordain_v thou_o thing_n o_o my_o lord_n in_o what_o sort_n thou_o will_v so_o that_o yet_o this_o poor_a creature_n of_o thou_o may_v once_o be_v able_a to_o pay_v thou_o some_o little_a service_n there_o have_v be_v other_o manner_n of_o woman_n in_o the_o world_n who_o have_v do_v heroical_a thing_n for_o love_n of_o thou_o but_o i_o be_o good_a for_o nothing_o but_o to_o prate_v and_o so_o it_o be_v not_o thy_o pleasure_n o_o my_o lord_n to_o employ_v i_o about_o put_v any_o thing_n in_o execution_n but_o that_o all_o the_o service_n which_o i_o be_o to_o do_v thou_o must_v pass_v away_o in_o word_n and_o desire_n yea_o and_o even_o i_o have_v not_o liberty_n in_o this_o little_a and_o peradventure_o i_o shall_v be_v faulty_a in_o all_o but_o strengthen_v thou_o my_o soul_n and_o dispose_v of_o it_o first_o o_o thou_o the_o good_a of_o all_o good_n my_o dear_a jesus_n and_o then_o ordain_v thing_n in_o such_o sort_n as_o that_o i_o may_v once_o be_v able_a to_o do_v somewhat_o for_o thou_o and_o that_o there_o may_v be_v no_o such_o creature_n in_o the_o world_n as_o shall_v endure_v to_o receive_v so_o much_o and_o yet_o withal_o to_o pay_v nothing_o let_v it_o cost_v o_o my_o lord_n what_o it_o can_v but_o let_v not_o these_o hand_n of_o i_o appear_v always_o so_o very_o empty_a in_o thy_o presence_n since_o reward_n be_v to_o be_v set-out_v and_o give_v according_a to_o the_o work_n behold_v here_o be_v my_o life_n here_o be_v my_o honour_n and_o here_o be_v my_o will_n and_o thou_o know_v that_o i_o have_v give_v it_o all_o to_o thou_o and_o be_o entire_o thou_o and_o therefore_o dispose_v of_o i_o according_a to_o thy_o own_o good_a pleasure_n i_o see_v o_o my_o lord_n very_o well_o how_o little_a i_o be_o able_a to_o execute_v but_o yet_o be_v now_o come_v to_o thou_o and_o have_v mounted-up_a to_o this_o tower_n from_o which_o truth_n be_v true_o discover_v if_o thou_o depart_v not_o from_o i_o there_o be_v nothing_o which_o i_o shall_v not_o be_v able_a to_o perform_v and_o yet_o if_o thou_o depart_v how_o little_a soever_o that_o may_v be_v i_o be_o to_o go_v where_o i_o be_v which_o be_v into_o a_o kind_n of_o be_v in_o hell_n o_o what_o it_o be_v for_o a_o soul_n which_o find_v herself_o in_o such_o condition_n as_o this_o to_o be_v put_v to_o return_v again_o to_o converse_v in_o the_o world_n and_o to_o behold_v and_o see_v the_o antic_a and_o fantastical_a puppet-plays_a of_o this_o life_n which_o be_v so_o ridiculous_o order_v and_o to_o spend_v time_n in_o comply_v with_o this_o body_n of_o we_o both_o by_o sleep_v and_o eat_v for_o all_o this_o weary_v the_o soul_n which_o know_v not_o how_o to_o escape_v from_o thence_o but_o find_v itself_o to_o be_v surprise_v and_o enchain_v it_o than_o see_v much_o more_o evident_o the_o true_a captivity_n wherein_o we_o remain_v by_o the_o very_a condition_n of_o these_o body_n of_o we_o and_o by_o the_o misery_n of_o these_o life_n which_o we_o lead_v and_o then_o 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that_o once_o we_o may_v be_v untie_v from_o all_o thing_n and_o that_o we_o may_v not_o place_v our_o contentment_n in_o any_o thing_n of_o this_o world_n how_o will_v then_o that_o pain_n which_o we_o shall_v find_v to_o be_v live_v always_o without_o god_n appease_v and_o temper_v the_o fear_n of_o death_n through_o the_o desire_n which_o by_o this_o mean_n we_o shall_v have_v of_o attain_v to_o the_o fruition_n of_o eternal_a life_n sometime_o when_o i_o be_o consider_v how_o such_o a_o creature_n as_o i_o to_o who_o our_o lord_n have_v give_v this_o light_n with_o such_o a_o imperfect_a kind_n of_o charity_n as_o i_o possess_v and_o with_o so_o poor_a repose_n as_o i_o enjoy_v since_o my_o life_n have_v deserve_v no_o better_a can_v yet_o so_o often_o find_v myself_o in_o distress_n for_o be_v in_o this_o bannishment_n of_o i_o i_o may_v easy_o grow_v to_o imagine_v what_o kind_n of_o sense_n and_o feeling_n that_o will_v be_v which_o saint_n have_v have_v in_o this_o case_n and_o what_o kind_n of_o commotion_n a_o s._n paul_n and_o a_o s._n marie_n magdalen_n and_o such_o other_o like_o they_o will_v find_v in_o themselves_o in_o who_o the_o fire_n of_o the_o love_n of_o almighty_a god_n do_v reign_v it_o must_v certain_o have_v be_v a_o continual_a martyrdom_n to_o they_o to_o i_o it_o seem_v that_o all_o the_o ease_n or_o rather_o indeed_o absence_n of_o pain_n which_o i_o may_v be_v able_a to_o find_v in_o this_o world_n be_v but_o to_o treat_v with_o some_o such_o person_n as_o in_o who_o i_o may_v be_v able_a to_o meet_v with_o such_o desire_n as_o these_o i_o say_v desire_n with_o deed_n and_o i_o say_v yet_o again_o with_o deed_n for_o there_o be_v certain_a people_n in_o the_o world_n who_o if_o you_o will_v believe_v themselves_o be_v absolute_o untie_v from_o the_o world_n &_o so_o they_o publish_v that_o they_o be_v and_o so_o indeed_o it_o be_v very_o fit_a they_o be_v because_o even_o their_o very_a profession_n and_o condition_n require_v as_o much_o and_o so_o also_o do_v those_o many_o year_n since_o they_o begin_v to_o enter_v into_o the_o way_n of_o perfection_n but_o yet_o this_o soul_n of_o i_o know_v well_o how_o to_o find_v a_o difference_n even_o from_o far_o off_o between_o such_o as_o desire_v these_o thing_n but_o in_o word_n and_o such_o other_o as_o confirm_v their_o word_n by_o their_o work_n for_o she_o know_v how_o to_o understand_v very_o well_o the_o little_a good_a which_o these_o do_v in_o the_o world_n and_o the_o much_o which_o be_v do_v by_o those_o other_o and_o indeed_o this_o be_v such_o a_o kind_n of_o thing_n as_o
benediction_n and_o he_o will_v address_v your_o life_n by_o your_o meditation_n upon_o he_o for_o he_o be_v the_o best_a original_a and_o pattern_n which_o we_o can_v possible_o have_v and_o indeed_o what_o can_v we_o desire_v more_o then_o to_o have_v so_o perfect_a a_o friend_n at_o hand_n who_o will_v never_o give_v we_o over_o in_o our_o affliction_n and_o tribalation_n as_o they_o of_o this_o world_n be_v wont_a to_o do_v most_o bless_a be_v that_o man_n who_o love_v he_o with_o all_o sincerity_n of_o truth_n and_o who_o be_v always_o carry_v he_o close_o to_o himself_o let_v we_o look_v upon_o the_o glorious_a s._n paul_n who_o seem_v as_o if_o he_o can_v not_o suffer_v that_o ever_o the_o name_n of_o jesus_n shall_v be_v able_a to_o fall_v often_o enough_o from_o his_o mouth_n as_o one_o who_o do_v not_o fail_v to_o carry_v it_o well_o imprint_v upon_o his_o hart_n and_o since_o i_o understand_v of_o that_o other_o abstract_a course_n whereof_o i_o speak_v i_o have_v reflect_v upon_o diverse_a great_a contemplative_a saint_n with_o much_o care_n and_o i_o find_v that_o they_o go_v no_o other_o way_n than_o this_o s._n francis_n she_o wes_z it_o plain_o by_o the_o wound_n s._n anthony_n of_o milan_n by_o the_o infant_n s._n bernard_n delight_v himself_o much_o in_o the_o humanity_n of_o our_o bless_a lord_n and_o so_o also_o do_v s._n katherine_n of_o sienna_n together_o with_o many_o other_o saint_n as_o your_o reverence_n know_v better_o than_o i._n this_o depart_a and_o abstract_v one_o self_n from_o all_o corporeal_a object_n shall_v as_o it_o seem_v be_v good_a since_o person_n who_o be_v so_o spiritual_a affirm_v it_o but_o yet_o in_o my_o opinion_n this_o must_v be_v understand_v of_o soul_n who_o be_v very_o proficient_a in_o spirit_n for_o till_o then_o it_o be_v evident_a enough_o that_o the_o creator_n be_v to_o be_v seek_v by_o mean_n of_o the_o creature_n but_o yet_o i_o will_v undertake_v nothing_o in_o this_o case_n since_o all_o depend_v upon_o the_o favour_n which_o our_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o show_v to_o any_o soul_n that_o which_o i_o will_v fain_o give_v to_o be_v understand_v be_v that_o the_o most_o sacred_a humanity_n of_o christ_n our_o lord_n must_v not_o be_v make_v to_o come_v into_o that_o account_n and_o let_v this_o point_n be_v well_o understand_v wherein_o i_o will_v fain_o know_v how_o to_o declare_v myself_o when_o god_n be_v please_v to_o suspend_v all_o the_o power_n of_o the_o soul_n in_o those_o kind_n of_o prayer_n which_o be_v relate_v we_o have_v see_v plain_o that_o this_o presence_n of_o christ_n our_o lord_n be_v take_v from_o we_o whether_o we_o will_v or_o no_o and_o let_v it_o then_o be_v go_v in_o a_o good_a hour_n for_o that_o kind_n of_o loss_n be_v a_o happy_a one_o whereby_o we_o come_v to_o enjoy_v more_o of_o that_o which_o we_o conceive_v ourselves_o to_o have_v lose_v for_o then_o the_o soul_n employ_v herself_o whole_o upon_o love_v he_o who_o the_o understanding_n have_v already_o endeavour_v to_o know_v and_o she_o love_v that_o which_o she_o do_v not_o full_o comprehend_v and_o now_o joy_n in_o that_o wherein_o she_o can_v not_o also_o have_v joy_v but_o only_o by_o lose_v herself_o for_o her_o great_a gain_n but_o now_o that_o we_o shall_v by_o trick_n and_o of_o sett-purpose_n accustom_v ourselves_o not_o to_o procure_v with_o our_o whole_a power_n to_o carry_v always_o in_o our_o eye_n and_o i_o will_v to_o god_n it_o be_v always_o this_o most_o sacred_a humanity_n of_o christ_n our_o lord_n this_o i_o say_v be_v that_o which_o i_o like_v not_o since_o it_o be_v a_o way_n of_o make_v the_o soul_n walk_v in_o the_o air_n as_o we_o use_v to_o say_v for_o it_o seem_v that_o she_o have_v no_o firm_a and_o stable_a restingplace_n howsoever_o she_o may_v make_v herself_o believe_v that_o she_o be_v full_a of_o god_n it_o be_v a_o great_a matter_n whilst_o we_o live_v and_o be_v humane_a to_o procure_v to_o bring_v god_n to_o ourselves_o humane_a for_o this_o be_v that_o other_o inconvenience_n which_o i_o say_v there_o be_v for_o the_o first_o i_o begin_v to_o say_v be_v a_o little_a want_n of_o humility_n in_o presume_v to_o raise_v the_o soul_n before_o our_o lord_n raise_v she_o and_o not_o to_o content_v herself_o with_o meditate_v upon_o a_o thing_n so_o precious_a but_o that_o she_o will_v needs_o be_v a_o marie_n before_o she_o have_v take_v the_o pain_n of_o martha_n if_o our_o lord_n himself_o be_v please_v that_o we_o be_v marry_o there_o will_v be_v nothing_o to_o be_v fear_v though_o it_o shall_v be_v upon_o the_o very_a first_o day_n of_o our_o do_v he_o service_n but_o yet_o let_v we_o consider_v well_o of_o the_o matter_n as_o i_o think_v i_o be_v say_v before_o for_o this_o small_a moat_n of_o little_a humility_n will_v make_v a_o shift_n to_o do_v a_o great_a deal_n of_o hurt_n against_o profit_v in_o the_o way_n of_o contemplation_n but_o to_o return_v now_o to_o the_o second_o point_n we_o be_v no_o angel_n but_o 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our_o lord_n we_o must_v remember_v the_o love_n wherewith_o he_o do_v we_o so_o many_o favour_n and_o now_o great_o almighty_a god_n be_v please_v to_o show_v it_o to_o we_o by_o give_v we_o so_o high_a a_o pledge_n and_o pawn_v of_o his_o love_n for_o one_o love_n beget_v and_o breed_v another_o and_o though_o we_o shall_v he_o mere_a poor_a beginner_n in_o this_o holy_a exercise_n and_o though_o we_o shall_v withal_o be_v very_o wicked_a yet_o let_v we_o still_o procure_v to_o be_v look_v upon_o this_o object_n and_o still_o be_v stir_v ourselves_o up_o to_o love_v for_o if_o once_o our_o bless_a lord_n vouchsafe_v to_o imprint_v this_o love_n into_o our_o heart_n all_o thing_n will_v grow_v easy_a to_o we_o and_o we_o shall_v quick_o fall_v to_o work_v and_o that_o without_o any_o trouble_n to_o ourselves_o at_o all_o i_o beseech_v his_o divine_a majesty_n that_o he_o will_v vouchsafe_v to_o bestow_v it_o upon_o we_o since_o he_o know_v how_o very_o much_o the_o same_o import_v 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have_v any_o experience_n will_v find_v that_o every_o word_n of_o this_o which_o i_o have_v say_v be_v literal_o certain_a and_o i_o bless_v almighty_a god_n for_o enable_v i_o to_o declare_v it_o as_o i_o have_v do_v and_o now_o i_o end_v this_o part_n of_o the_o discourse_n with_o say_v that_o i_o think_v when_o such_o word_n proceed_v from_o our_o own_o understanding_n we_o may_v easy_o come_v to_o know_v it_o if_o we_o have_v a_o mind_n to_o it_o and_o every_o time_n that_o we_o be_v in_o prayer_n we_o shall_v conceive_v that_o we_o understand_v they_o but_o in_o this_o other_o kind_n of_o word_n or_o speech_n it_o be_v not_o so_o for_o it_o will_v be_v many_o day_n wherein_o though_o i_o shall_v desire_v to_o understand_v somewhat_o of_o that_o kind_n it_o will_v be_v absolute_o impossible_a and_o when_o at_o other_o time_n i_o have_v no_o thought_n that_o way_n i_o must_v yet_o understand_v it_o as_o i_o have_v say_v and_o i_o think_v that_o whosoever_o have_v a_o mind_n to_o 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a_o unsupportable_a thing_n in_o my_o opinion_n and_o indeed_o it_o be_v a_o kind_n of_o picture_n in_o little_a or_o rather_o a_o pattern_n of_o hell_n and_o this_o be_v most_o certain_o so_o as_o our_o lord_n himself_o be_v please_v to_o give_v i_o to_o understand_v once_o in_o a_o certain_a vision_n for_o here_o the_o soul_n do_v even_o burn_v herself_o up_o of_o herself_o without_o her_o know_v either_o by_o who_o or_o by_o what_o way_n she_o be_v set_v on_o fire_n or_o yet_o how_o to_o escape_v from_o thence_o or_o final_o how_o to_o quench_v it_o for_o as_o for_o seek_v to_o help_v herself_o by_o read_v she_o will_v be_v able_a to_o profit_v by_o it_o no_o more_o then_o if_o she_o can_v not_o read_v at_o all_o it_o happen_v to_o i_o one_o day_n to_o read_v the_o life_n of_o a_o saint_n so_o to_o see_v if_o i_o can_v swallow_v the_o juice_n and_o substance_n thereof_o and_o thus_o to_o comfort_v myself_o with_o the_o consideration_n of_o what_o he_o have_v suffer_v and_o so_o i_o 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nor_o tell_v they_o by_o any_o mean_n any_o lie_n but_o the_o truth_n be_v i_o be_v afraid_a of_o all_o thing_n there_o be_v one_o who_o hear_v of_o this_o temptation_n of_o i_o advise_v i_o not_o to_o be_v trouble_v at_o it_o for_o humour_n though_o i_o shall_v have_v a_o mind_n to_o cozen_v he_o yet_o he_o have_v wit_n enough_o to_o defend_v himself_o from_o i_o that_o which_o sometime_o give_v i_o great_a comfort_n and_o as_o it_o be_v constant_o or_o at_o least_o most_o ordinary_o be_v that_o i_o use_v to_o have_v some_o kind_n of_o respite_n after_o i_o have_v communicate_v yea_o and_o sometime_o even_o in_o approach_v to_o the_o bless_a sacrament_n at_o the_o very_a instant_n i_o shall_v grow_v so_o very_o perfect_o well_o both_o in_o body_n and_o soul_n that_o it_o do_v even_o amaze_v i_o for_o it_o seem_v to_o be_v no_o other_o thing_n then_o that_o all_o the_o darkness_n of_o my_o soul_n be_v disperse_v and_o discharge_v at_o a_o instant_n and_o that_o upon_o the_o approach_n 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ordain_v thing_n so_o to_o the_o end_n that_o the_o soul_n may_v appear_v like_o gold_n which_o come_v refine_v and_o pure_a out_o of_o the_o crusible_a and_o that_o so_o she_o may_v see_v our_o lord_n in_o herself_o and_o then_o do_v those_o trouble_n which_o arrive_v grow_v to_o be_v account_v little_a though_o they_o seem_v insupportable_a at_o the_o time_n and_o we_o desire_v that_o we_o may_v return_v again_o to_o suffer_v if_o our_o lord_n may_v be_v serve_v the_o better_a by_o it_o yea_o and_o to_o admit_v also_o of_o more_o tribulation_n and_o persecution_n provide_v always_o that_o they_o may_v happen_v without_o offence_n of_o our_o lord_n nay_o we_o rather_o will_v rejoice_v in_o suffer_v for_o he_o for_o all_o will_n in_o the_o end_n bring_v more_o profit_n though_o yet_o for_o my_o part_n i_o can_v never_o bear_v they_o as_o i_o ought_v but_o rather_o with_o abundance_n of_o imperfection_n at_o other_o time_n these_o trouble_n will_v come_v upon_o i_o in_o other_o kind_n and_o so_o as_o that_o i_o think_v it_o be_v absolute_o a_o kind_n of_o impossible_a thing_n for_o i_o to_o think_v then_o of_o any_o thing_n which_o be_v good_a yea_o or_o so_o much_o as_o to_o desire_v to_o do_v any_o such_o thing_n for_o that_o i_o have_v both_o a_o body_n and_o a_o soul_n which_o be_v absolute_o untoward_a and_o good_a for_o nothing_o but_o at_o those_o time_n i_o be_o not_o subject_a to_o those_o other_o temptation_n and_o disquiet_v but_o only_o to_o a_o disgust_n in_o all_o thing_n though_o i_o know_v not_o why_o so_o that_o nothing_o can_v give_v contentment_n to_o my_o soul_n and_o then_o i_o will_v be_v sometime_o procure_v to_o divert_v and_o employ_v myself_o upon_o the_o perform_n of_o some_o good_a work_n in_o the_o exterior_a way_n and_o i_o will_v do_v so_o even_o half_a whether_o myself_o will_v or_o no._n but_o in_o fine_a i_o be_o come_v at_o length_n to_o know_v by_o such_o mean_n as_o these_o how_o very_o little_a any_o soul_n be_v worth_a whensoever_o the_o grace_n of_o almighty_a god_n be_v hide_v from_o she_o and_o this_o kind_n of_o consideration_n use_v not_o to_o put_v i_o to_o any_o trouble_n at_o all_o for_o the_o behold_v my_o own_o baseness_n after_o this_o manner_n be_v wont_a to_o give_v i_o a_o kind_n of_o satisfaction_n at_o other_o time_n i_o find_v myself_o so_o as_o that_o i_o be_o utter_o unable_a to_o frame_v any_o distinct_a or_o form_v conceit_n of_o almighty_a god_n nor_o indeed_o of_o any_o good_a thing_n after_o a_o staid_a manner_n nor_o be_o i_o able_a then_o to_o put_v myself_o in_o prayer_n though_o i_o
desire_v for_o four_o or_o five_o year_n together_o before_o her_o end_n and_o then_o she_o die_v upon_o a_o sudden_a without_o be_v so_o much_o as_o visit_v and_o much_o less_o confess_v but_o the_o happiness_n be_v that_o according_a to_o the_o custom_n which_o she_o have_v hold_v there_o be_v little_o more_o than_o eight_o day_n expire_v after_o her_o last_o confession_n this_o make_v i_o a_o very_a glad_a woman_n when_o i_o know_v of_o her_o death_n and_o she_o stay_v a_o very_a short_a time_n in_o purgatory_n nor_o be_v it_o yet_o above_o eight_o day_n since_o our_o lord_n appear_v to_o i_o after_o i_o have_v receive_v the_o bless_a sacrament_n and_o be_v please_v to_o let_v i_o see_v how_o he_o carry_v my_o sister_n soul_n into_o glory_n in_o all_o these_o year_n from_o the_o time_n when_o the_o particular_a concern_v she_o be_v tell_v i_o till_o her_o very_a death_n i_o forget_v not_o that_o which_o have_v be_v give_v i_o to_o be_v understand_v concern_v she_o as_o neither_o also_o do_v my_o companion_n for_o as_o soon_o as_o she_o have_v hear_v of_o my_o sister_n death_n she_o come_v towards_o i_o with_o much_o admiration_n to_o see_v how_o all_o have_v be_v fulfil_v let_v our_o lord_n be_v praise_v for_o ever_o who_o vouchsafe_v to_o take_v such_o care_n of_o soul_n to_o the_o end_n that_o they_o may_v not_o perish_v amen_n the_o five_o and_o thirty_o chapter_n she_o prosecute_v the_o same_o discourse_n about_o the_o foundation_n of_o this_o house_n of_o our_o glorious_a father_n s._n joseph_n she_o speak_v of_o the_o degree_n by_o which_o our_o lord_n come_v to_o appoint_v that_o holy_a poverty_n shall_v be_v ordain_v there_o and_o of_o the_o cause_n why_o she_o come_v from_o that_o lady_n with_o who_o she_o be_v and_o of_o other_o thing_n also_o which_o succeed_v but_o now_o whilst_o i_o be_v with_o that_o lady_n of_o who_o i_o have_v speak_v and_o with_o who_o i_o have_v remain_v more_o than_o half_a a_o year_n our_o lord_n do_v so_o ordain_v that_o a_o certain_a holy_a woman_n of_o our_o order_n fall_v out_o to_o come_v from_o a_o place_n which_o be_v no_o less_o than_o threescore_o and_o then_o league_n off_o from_o this_o and_o to_o arrive_v here_o and_o to_o lengthen_v her_o way_n by_o some_o league_n on_o purpose_n to_o speak_v with_o i_o our_o lord_n have_v move_v she_o to_o this_o in_o the_o selfsame_a year_n when_o he_o move_v i_o to_o make_v another_o monastery_n of_o this_o order_n and_o as_o soon_o as_o she_o have_v entertain_v this_o desire_n she_o sell_v whatsoever_o she_o possess_v and_o go_v herself_o barefoot_a to_o rome_n to_o get_v and_o bring-away_a the_o dispatch_n of_o this_o business_n this_o woman_n be_v a_o person_n of_o much_o penance_n and_o prayer_n and_o our_o lord_n do_v she_o many_o favour_n and_o our_o b._n lady_n appear_v to_o she_o and_o require_v she_o still_o to_o do_v what_o she_o be_v do_v and_o she_o serve_v our_o bless_a lord_n so_o incomparable_o beyond_o any_o thing_n that_o i_o can_v do_v that_o i_o be_v in_o confusion_n even_o to_o appear_v in_o her_o presence_n she_o show_v i_o the_o dispatch_n which_o she_o bring_v from_o rome_n and_o in_o those_o fifteen_o day_n which_o she_o stay_v with_o i_o we_o take_v order_n how_o we_o will_v make_v these_o monastery_n and_o till_o i_o have_v speak_v with_o she_o it_o never_o have_v come_v to_o my_o knowledge_n that_o our_o rule_n till_o it_o be_v relax_v do_v ever_o command_v that_o none_o of_o the_o religious_a house_n of_o our_o order_n shall_v have_v any_o propriety_n in_o any_o good_n nor_o have_v myself_o have_v any_o purpose_n to_o find_v any_o monastery_n at_o all_o without_o revenue_n for_o my_o intention_n be_v that_o we_o shall_v be_v free_a from_o the_o care_n of_o procure_v any_o such_o thing_n as_o we_o may_v be_v in_o necessity_n to_o use_v but_o this_o bless_a woman_n have_v be_v instruct_v by_o our_o lord_n be_v grow_v to_o understand_v that_o truth_n very_o well_o without_o be_v able_a so_o much_o as_o to_o read_v of_o which_o truth_n i_o be_v ignorant_a even_o after_o have_v take_v so_o much_o pain_n to_o read_v over_o the_o constitution_n of_o our_o order_n and_o as_o soon_o as_o she_o acquaint_v i_o with_o her_o purpose_n i_o like_v it_o well_o though_o yet_o i_o be_v afraid_a that_o it_o will_v not_o be_v yield_v to_o but_o that_o they_o will_v say_v perhaps_o that_o these_o be_v but_o impertinency_n and_o wish_v that_o i_o will_v not_o do_v any_o thing_n whereby_o other_o may_v be_v put_v to_o suffer_v through_o my_o fault_n though_o yet_o in_o very_a deed_n if_o i_o have_v be_v alone_o i_o will_v not_o have_v be_v detain_v one_o minute_n from_o do_v it_o since_o it_o will_v be_v a_o regalo_n to_o my_o soul_n to_o observe_v &_o follow_v the_o counsel_n of_o jesus-christ_n our_o lord_n for_o real_o his_o divine_a majesty_n have_v already_o give_v i_o great_a desire_n to_o observe_v poverty_n so_o that_o for_o my_o part_n i_o make_v no_o doubt_n but_o that_o this_o be_v best_a yea_o and_o i_o have_v long_o desire_v that_o it_o may_v be_v possible_a and_o compatible_a with_o my_o state_n that_o i_o may_v go_v beg_v my_o bread_n for_o the_o love_n of_o god_n without_o have_v so_o much_o as_o a_o house_n or_o any_o thing_n else_o but_o only_o i_o be_v in_o fear_n that_o if_o our_o bless_a lord_n shall_v not_o give_v the_o selfsame_a desire_n to_o other_o which_o he_o give_v to_o i_o they_o will_v live_v perhaps_o with_o disgust_n and_o consequent_o that_o it_o may_v prove_v a_o cause_n of_o some_o distraction_n or_o division_n for_o i_o see_v that_o there_o be_v some_o poor_a monastery_n which_o live_v not_o with_o much_o recollection_n and_o i_o consider_v not_o that_o their_o not_o be_v recollect_v be_v the_o cause_n of_o their_o be_v so_o poor_a and_o not_o their_o poverty_n the_o cause_n of_o their_o want_n of_o recollection_n for_o distraction_n make_v they_o not_o more_o rich_a nor_o be_v ever_o almighty_a god_n want_v to_o such_o as_o serve_v he_o in_o fine_a my_o faith_n be_v weak_a which_o that_o of_o this_o servant_n of_o god_n be_v not_o but_o now_o i_o who_o will_v be_v take_v the_o opinion_n of_o so_o many_o person_n for_o every_o thing_n which_o i_o be_v to_o do_v can_v find_v no_o body_n of_o this_o mind_n no_o nor_o even_o my_o ghostly_a father_n himself_o nor_o yet_o those_o other_o learned_a man_n who_o i_o consult_v in_o the_o case_n but_o they_o bring_v i_o so_o many_o reason_n against_o it_o that_o i_o know_v not_o which_o way_n to_o turn_v myself_o for_o i_o for_o my_o part_n who_o know_v already_o that_o it_o be_v the_o rule_n of_o the_o order_n and_o know_v also_o that_o it_o be_v a_o point_n of_o more_o perfection_n can_v not_o persuade_v myself_o to_o have_v revenue_n and_o though_o sometime_o they_o convince_v i_o towards_o their_o opinion_n yet_o still_o when_o i_o return_v to_o prayer_n and_o consider_v christ_n our_o lord_n so_o very_o poor_a and_o naked_a upon_o the_o cross_n i_o be_v not_o able_a so_o much_o as_o to_o find_v patience_n for_o be_v rich_a but_o i_o humble_o beseech_v he_o with_o tear_n to_o ordain_v thing_n in_o such_o sort_n that_o i_o may_v be_v poor_a like_v he_o and_o i_o find_v so_o many_o inconvenience_n even_o in_o have_v revenue_n and_o find_v it_o to_o be_v so_o great_a a_o cause_n of_o disquiet_n yea_o and_o even_o of_o distraction_n also_o that_o i_o do_v nothing_o but_o dispute_v the_o business_n with_o those_o learned_a man_n i_o write_v also_o about_o it_o to_o that_o religious_a man_n of_o s._n dominick_n order_n who_o assist_v we_o and_o he_o send_v i_o two_o sheet_n of_o paper_n which_o he_o have_v write_v by_o way_n of_o contradiction_n to_o i_o and_o he_o ground_v himself_o in_o theology_n for_o the_o persuade_v i_o not_o to_o do_v it_o yea_o and_o he_o tell_v i_o that_o he_o have_v study_v the_o point_n very_o well_o to_o which_o i_o answer_v he_o that_o for_o not_o follow_v my_o vocation_n and_o for_o not_o perform_v the_o vow_n which_o i_o have_v make_v of_o poverty_n and_o embrace_v the_o counsel_n of_o christ_n our_o lord_n in_o all_o perfection_n i_o mean_v not_o to_o make_v use_n of_o his_o theology_n nor_o of_o his_o learning_n and_o therefore_o that_o in_o this_o case_n he_o may_v be_v please_v to_o excuse_v i_o for_o my_o part_n i_o be_v very_o glad_a when_o i_o find_v any_o creature_n who_o will_v help_v i_o and_o the_o lady_n with_o who_o i_o be_v assist_v i_o particular_o herein_o there_o be_v other_o also_o who_o tell_v i_o instant_o at_o the_o first_o that_o they_o like_v it_o well_o but_o afterward_o when_o they_o consider_v it_o better_o they_o
that_o i_o know_v not_o what_o to_o do_v with_o myself_o o_o that_o we_o will_v look_v with_o attention_n upon_o the_o thing_n of_o this_o world_n for_o every_o body_n will_v then_o be_v quick_o able_a to_o find_v by_o experience_n how_o little_a he_o be_v to_o lodge_v either_o his_o contentment_n or_o discontentment_n upon_o it_o it_o be_v most_o certain_a in_o my_o opinion_n that_o this_o be_v one_o of_o the_o feirce_v kind_n of_o fit_n of_o affliction_n that_o ever_o i_o have_v endure_v in_o my_o whole_a life_n and_o it_o seem_v as_o if_o my_o very_a spirit_n have_v half_o prophesy_v how_o much_o do_v still_o rest_v behind_o to_o be_v endure_v though_o yet_o that_o arrive_v not_o so_o far_o as_o this_o if_o it_o have_v continue_v but_o now_o our_o bless_a lord_n do_v not_o permit_v this_o poor_a servant_n of_o he_o to_o suffer_v long_o nor_o do_v he_o ever_o fail_v to_o succour_v i_o in_o my_o tribulation_n nor_o do_v he_o also_o in_o this_o for_o now_o he_o give_v i_o a_o little_a objection_n light_n wherewith_o to_o see_v that_o all_o this_o be_v of_o the_o devil_n and_o that_o i_o may_v discern_v the_o truth_n and_o that_o the_o whole_a business_n be_v but_o to_o put_v i_o into_o a_o fright_n by_o lie_n and_o so_o i_o come_v by_o degree_n to_o call_v to_o mind_n and_o to_o recover_v the_o great_a resolution_n which_o i_o have_v former_o conceive_v towards_o the_o service_n of_o our_o bless_a lord_n as_o also_o my_o desire_n to_o suffer_v for_o he_o and_o so_o i_o grow_v also_o to_o consider_v that_o if_o real_o i_o intend_v to_o fulfil_v they_o i_o be_v not_o to_o busy_v myself_o about_o procure_v rest_n and_o ease_n but_o if_o i_o will_v endure_v affliction_n that_o this_o be_v the_o true_a way_n to_o merit_v and_o that_o if_o i_o will_v goe-through_a with_o they_o for_o the_o service_n of_o almighty_a god_n they_o will_v be_v in_o stead_n of_o purgatory_n for_o i_o &_o of_o what_o be_v i_o afraid_a &_o that_o since_o i_o desire_v affliction_n these_o which_o be_v offer_v now_o will_v be_v very_o fit_a &_o good_a and_o that_o where_o the_o great_a contradiction_n be_v feel_v the_o rich_a gain_n will_v be_v find_v and_o why_o shall_v my_o hart_n fail_v i_o for_o his_o service_n to_o who_o i_o owe_v so_o much_o and_o by_o these_o and_o other_o consideration_n and_o employ_v all_o the_o courage_n i_o have_v i_o make_v a_o promise_n in_o presence_n of_o the_o b._n sacrament_n to_o do_v all_o the_o very_a uttermost_a that_o i_o can_v to_o get_v leave_n to_o come_v to_o this_o monastery_n as_o also_o if_o i_o may_v do_v it_o with_o safe_a conscience_n to_o promise_n clausure_n but_o now_o at_o my_o resolve_v upon_o this_o the_o devil_n flee_v instant_o away_o and_o leave_v i_o very_o quiet_a and_o content_v and_o so_o i_o have_v remain_v ever_o since_o and_o all_o that_o which_o be_v observe_v in_o this_o house_n either_o by_o way_n of_o enclosure_n or_o penance_n in_o any_o kind_n have_v make_v itself_o both_o very_a delightful_a and_o seem_v very_o little_a and_o the_o contentment_n on_o the_o other_o side_n be_v so_o extreme_o great_a that_o i_o be_o think_v several_a time_n if_o i_o be_v able_a to_o find_v any_o thing_n in_o the_o whole_a world_n which_o can_v be_v of_o so_o much_o gust_n to_o i_o as_o this_o i_o know_v not_o also_o whether_o perhaps_o even_o this_o may_v not_o be_v the_o true_a reason_n why_o i_o enjoy_v better_a health_n now_o then_o ever_o or_o else_o that_o perhaps_o our_o lord_n will_v have_v it_o so_o because_o perhaps_o there_o may_v be_v some_o necessary_a use_n thereof_o and_o because_o it_o be_v but_o reason_n that_o i_o shall_v also_o do_v thosething_n which_o be_v perform_v by_o all_o the_o rest_n and_o therefore_o that_o he_o be_v please_v to_o give_v i_o so_o much_o comfort_n as_o to_o be_v able_a to_o do_v it_o though_o yet_o it_o be_v with_o some_o little_a trouble_n but_o certain_o all_o they_o who_o see_v it_o and_o be_v privy_a to_o the_o great_a infirmity_n to_o which_o i_o be_o subject_a be_v amaze_v at_o it_o bless_a be_v our_o lord_n who_o give_v it_o all_o and_o have_v power_n enough_o wherewith_o to_o do_v it_o but_o i_o fail_v not_o in_o the_o mean_a time_n to_o be_v very_o well_o weary_v with_o such_o a_o stiff_a contention_n and_o strife_n as_o this_o though_o yet_o i_o laugh_v at_o the_o devil_n for_o i_o clear_o see_v it_o be_v he_o and_o i_o conceive_v that_o our_o bless_a lord_n will_v permit_v it_o because_o i_o never_o know_v till_o then_o what_o it_o be_v to_o be_v in_o any_o disgust_n for_o be_v a_o religious_a woman_n nor_o do_v i_o ever_o find_v any_o during_o the_o space_n of_o eight_o and_o twenty_o year_n and_o more_o that_o i_o have_v be_v one_o but_o now_o his_o divine_a majesty_n permit_v it_o to_o come_v upon_o i_o to_o the_o end_n that_o i_o may_v the_o better_o understand_v the_o great_a favour_n which_o it_o have_v please_v our_o lord_n to_o do_v i_o in_o that_o state_n yea_o and_o the_o torment_n from_o which_o he_o have_v free_v i_o as_o also_o to_o the_o end_n that_o if_o afterward_o i_o see_v any_o one_o who_o shall_v be_v afflict_v in_o the_o same_o kind_n i_o may_v not_o be_v fright_v at_o it_o but_o may_v both_o have_v compassion_n of_o she_o and_o know_v also_o how_o to_o give_v her_o comfort_n if_o there_o shall_v be_v cause_n but_o now_o have_v pass_v this_o brunt_n and_o be_v desirous_a to_o rest_v a_o little_a when_o i_o shall_v have_v dine_v for_o in_o all_o the_o night_n before_o i_o have_v take_v none_o as_o also_o in_o many_o other_o night_n i_o have_v not_o fail_v of_o care_n and_o trouble_n enough_o when_o yet_o i_o be_v also_o tire_v out_o in_o the_o day_n as_o they_o know_v very_o well_o what_o pass_v not_o only_o in_o the_o monastery_n but_o in_o the_o city_n there_o be_v grow_v to_o be_v a_o great_a deal_n of_o noise_n and_o disquiet_v upon_o the_o occasion_n which_o have_v be_v former_o touch_v yea_o and_o there_o seem_v to_o be_v some_o colour_n for_o the_o same_o just_o then_o the_o prioress_n require_v i_o to_o be_v call_v and_o that_o i_o must_v go_v to_o she_o at_o the_o instant_n and_o meet_v with_o her_o commandment_n i_o leave_v my_o religious_a full_a of_o pain_n and_o care_n and_o so_o instant_o go_v to_o she_o but_o i_o than_o perceive_v well_o that_o i_o be_v to_o be_v sure_a of_o trouble_n enough_o though_o yet_o the_o house_n be_v then_o dispatch_v i_o be_v not_o in_o very_a much_o pain_n howsoever_o i_o betake_v myself_o to_o prayer_n beseech_v our_o bless_a lord_n to_o be_v good_a to_o i_o and_o beg_v of_o my_o father_n s._n joseph_n that_o he_o will_v bring_v i_o back_o again_o to_o his_o house_n and_o in_o the_o mean_a time_n i_o offered-up_a all_o that_o which_o i_o may_v chance_v to_o endure_v for_o his_o sake_n and_o i_o be_v to_o be_v very_o well_o please_v if_o it_o fall_v out_o that_o i_o may_v suffer_v any_o thing_n for_o he_o or_o be_v able_a to_o serve_v he_o and_o so_o i_o go_v away_o with_o opinion_n that_o they_o will_v instant_o commit_v i_o to_o prison_n whereby_o i_o yet_o conceive_v that_o they_o will_v so_o have_v do_v i_o a_o great_a deal_n of_o pleasure_n for_o then_o i_o shall_v not_o have_v be_v vex_v with_o their_o talk_n and_o i_o shall_v have_v enjoy_v a_o little_a solitude_n whereof_o i_o be_v in_o very_o great_a want_n for_o they_o have_v even_o as_o it_o be_v grind_v i_o to_o dust_n by_o force_v i_o to_o converse_v so_o long_o with_o such_o a_o multitude_n of_o people_n but_o be_v then_o arrive_v and_o have_v give_v account_n of_o myself_o to_o the_o superior_a she_o be_v a_o little_a appease_v and_o they_o all_o agree_v to_o send_v i_o to_o the_o provincial_n and_o so_o the_o cause_n be_v to_o depend_v before_o he_o and_o as_o soon_o as_o i_o be_v come_v thither_o for_o judgement_n i_o find_v myself_o with_o much_o contentment_n to_o see_v that_o i_o be_v suffer_v somewhat_o for_o the_o love_n of_o our_o lord_n for_o as_o for_o have_v do_v any_o thing_n either_o against_o his_o divine_a majesty_n or_o yet_o against_o the_o order_n i_o conceive_v not_o that_o i_o have_v offend_v but_o rather_o have_v endeavour_v to_o augment_v it_o to_o the_o uttermost_a of_o my_o power_n and_o will_v be_v glad_a with_o my_o whole_a hart_n to_o die_v for_o it_o for_o all_o my_o desire_n be_v that_o it_o may_v be_v fulfil_v according_a to_o the_o uttermost_a perfection_n but_o in_o the_o mean_a time_n i_o call_v to_o mind_v the_o sentence_n which_o be_v pass_v upon_o christ_n our_o lord_n and_o i_o acknowledge_v what_o a_o nothing_o this_o be_v
of_o much_o effect_n and_o mortification_n when_o a_o great_a account_n be_v make_v of_o do_v such_o and_o such_o thing_n for_o the_o love_n of_o our_o lord_n which_o indeed_o it_o be_v both_o pity_n and_o shame_n that_o we_o shall_v understand_v and_o value_n at_o any_o rate_n though_o perhaps_o we_o shall_v do_v never_o so_o many_a of_o that_o kind_n for_o my_o part_n i_o be_o but_o one_o of_o these_o and_o be_o apt_a not_o only_o to_o forget_v the_o favour_n of_o almighty_a god_n but_o even_o to_o overvalue_v my_o own_o poor_a endeavour_n i_o say_v not_o yet_o but_o that_o his_o divine_a majesty_n will_v vouchsafe_v to_o put_v some_o value_n even_o upon_o little_a thing_n through_o his_o own_o great_a goodness_n but_o as_o for_o i_o i_o will_v make_v no_o account_n thereof_o nor_o in_o effect_n so_o much_o as_o see_v that_o i_o do_v they_o since_o they_o be_v but_o a_o kind_n of_o nothing_o but_o yet_o pardon_v i_o even_o herein_o o_o my_o dear_a lord_n and_o blame_v i_o not_o if_o i_o procure_v to_o comfort_v myself_o with_o think_v of_o this_o little_a kind_n of_o somewhat_o since_o i_o be_o able_a to_o serve_v thou_o solid_o in_o nothing_o but_o if_o real_o i_o find_v myself_o able_a to_o serve_v thou_o in_o thing_n which_o be_v indeed_o of_o weight_n and_o moment_n i_o will_v be_v far_o from_o make_v account_n of_o these_o thing_n of_o nothing_o o_o how_o happy_a be_v those_o person_n who_o be_v able_a to_o do_v thou_o service_n in_o great_a matter_n and_o certain_o if_o have_v envy_n of_o they_o and_o entertain_v earnest_a desire_n of_o be_v able_a to_o do_v the_o like_a inight_o be_v take_v by_o thou_o for_o good_a payment_n upon_o true_a account_n from_o this_o poor_a servant_n of_o thou_o infallible_o i_o will_v not_o sitt-out_a at_o please_v thou_o but_o the_o truth_n my_o dear_a lord_n be_v this_o that_o direct_o i_o be_o good_a for_o nothing_o though_o yet_o thou_o may_v well_o give_v i_o value_n since_o thou_o love_v i_o so_o much_o but_o now_o it_o happen_v late_o by_o a_o breve_fw-la which_o come_v from_o rome_n that_o this_o monastery_n shall_v be_v uncapable_a of_o revenue_n so_o that_o now_o it_o may_v be_v esteem_v to_o be_v finish_v it_o cost_v we_o some_o trouble_n to_o effect_v it_o and_o i_o remain_v with_o much_o comfort_n to_o see_v thing_n settle_v and_o reflect_v upon_o the_o difficulty_n which_o i_o have_v meet_v and_o praise_v our_o bless_a lord_n for_o his_o be_v please_v to_o have_v partly_o serve_v himself_o of_o i_o herein_o i_o apply_v myself_o a_o little_a to_o look_v back_o upon_o all_o the_o passage_n of_o the_o whole_a business_n and_o real_o it_o be_v very_o true_a that_o in_o every_o one_o of_o those_o particular_n wherein_o there_o may_v be_v any_o appearance_n that_o i_o have_v contribute_v somewhat_o i_o find_v many_o imperfection_n and_o error_n sometime_o of_o little_a courage_n and_o sometime_o also_o of_o little_a faith_n for_o till_o i_o see_v all_o that_o accomplish_a which_o it_o have_v please_v our_o bless_a lord_n to_o tell_v i_o before_o of_o what_o shall_v be_v do_v concern_v it_o i_o do_v never_o in_o a_o resolute_a and_o assure_a manner_n make_v a_o end_n of_o full_o believe_v that_o it_o will_v be_v though_o yet_o withal_o it_o be_v true_a that_o i_o also_o can_v not_o tell_v how_o to_o doubt_v it_o nor_o know_v i_o how_o all_o this_o can_v stand_v together_o but_o it_o seem_v that_o many_o time_n it_o look_v in_o my_o eye_n as_o if_o it_o must_v be_v impossible_a on_o the_o one_o side_n and_o yet_o it_o can_v not_o be_v doubt_v on_o the_o other_o i_o mean_v it_o can_v not_o be_v firm_o believe_v but_o that_o the_o thing_n will_v be_v do_v yet_o in_o fine_a i_o find_v that_o there_o be_v this_o advantage_n in_o it_o that_o our_o lord_n himself_o do_v all_o the_o good_a which_o be_v do_v and_o i_o all_o the_o ill_a and_o so_o i_o will_v think_v of_o it_o no_o more_o because_o if_o i_o do_v i_o shall_v be_v sure_a to_o stumble_v upon_o many_o fault_n of_o my_o own_o but_o bless_a be_v he_o for_o ever_o who_o when_o he_o be_v dispose_v know_v how_o to_o fetch_v good_a out_o of_o they_o all_o amen_n i_o say_v then_o that_o it_o be_v no_o less_o than_o a_o kind_n of_o dangerous_a thing_n to_o go_v rate_v and_o measure_v the_o only_a year_n wherein_o any_o body_n may_v have_v have_v the_o exercise_n of_o mental_a prayer_n for_o though_o perhaps_o there_o may_v be_v a_o piece_n of_o humility_n in_o the_o consideration_n thereof_o yet_o withal_o it_o also_o seem_v that_o there_o be_v a_o kind_n of_o i_o can_v tell_v what_o as_o if_o there_o be_v a_o show_n that_o a_o body_n will_v conceive_v that_o he_o have_v deserve_v some_o little_a thing_n for_o his_o pain_n i_o say_v not_o that_o these_o year_n of_o prayer_n have_v not_o their_o worth_n and_o so_o we_o shall_v be_v well_o pay_v for_o they_o but_o yet_o if_o any_o spiritual_a person_n shall_v conceive_v that_o for_o the_o many_o year_n wherein_o he_o have_v use_v mental_a prayer_n he_o deserve_v those_o great_a regalo_n and_o gust_n i_o hold_v it_o for_o a_o most_o infallible_a truth_n that_o he_o shall_v never_o get_v up_o to_o the_o top_n of_o liberty_n of_o spirit_n but_o be_v it_o not_o on_o the_o other_o side_n enough_o that_o he_o have_v obtain_v so_o much_o favour_n of_o almighty_a god_n that_o he_o defend_v he_o so_o far_o as_o to_o hinder_v he_o from_o commit_v such_o sin_n as_o he_o fall_v into_o before_o he_o be_v a_o man_n of_o prayer_n but_o that_o now_o forsooth_o he_o will_v needs_o proceed_v with_o his_o divine_a majesty_n for_o the_o favour_n which_o he_o have_v receive_v from_o his_o holy_a hand_n as_o those_o debtor_n use_v to_o do_v who_o go_v to_o suit_n with_o creditor_n for_o their_o own_o money_n perhaps_o as_o i_o be_v say_v this_o may_v look_v in_o some_o light_n like_o a_o piece_n of_o profound_a humility_n but_o for_o my_o part_n i_o can_v think_v so_o but_o rather_o that_o it_o be_v a_o part_n of_o boldness_n and_o i_o be_o sure_a enough_o that_o i_o with_o be_v not_o humble_a at_o all_o never_o dare_v presume_v so_o far_o yet_o perhaps_o this_o last_o be_v true_a in_o regard_n that_o i_o never_o do_v god_n any_o service_n and_o therefore_o i_o have_v beg_v no_o such_o favour_n at_o his_o hand_n whereas_o yet_o if_o i_o have_v think_v i_o have_v deserve_v i_o shall_v have_v be_v more_o earnest_a than_o any_o other_o in_o desire_v of_o our_o lord_n that_o i_o may_v be_v pay_v even_o here_o for_o my_o pain_n and_o yet_o i_o do_v not_o say_v but_o that_o a_o soul_n may_v go_v increase_a by_o this_o mean_n and_o that_o god_n will_v make_v he_o amends_o if_o his_o prayer_n have_v be_v humble_a but_o yet_o still_o i_o will_v fain_o have_v that_o point_n forget_v which_o speak_v of_o reckoning-up_a those_o many_o year_n of_o our_o service_n of_o our_o lord_n for_o all_o that_o which_o we_o be_v any_o way_n able_a to_o do_v be_v fit_a to_o make_v a_o man_n even_o cast_v the_o gorge_n in_o comparison_n of_o the_o least_o drop_n of_o that_o blood_n which_o our_o bless_a lord_n shed_v for_o us._n and_o if_o beside_o it_o be_v most_o real_o true_a that_o by_o do_v service_n to_o almighty_a god_n we_o come_v to_o be_v his_o debtor_n so_o much_o the_o more_o what_o manner_n of_o thing_n be_v it_o that_o we_o shall_v fall_v upon_o beg_a recompense_n of_o that_o kind_n since_o if_o we_o pay_v a_o farthing_n of_o the_o old_a debt_n there_o return_v a_o bill_n of_o a_o thousand_o ducat_n upon_o we_o for_o a_o new_a loane_n but_o in_o fine_a for_o the_o love_n of_o our_o lord_n let_v we_o leave_v to_o pass_v these_o judgement_n which_o indeed_o ought_v not_o to_o be_v we_o but_o he_o this_o course_n of_o make_v comparison_n be_v not_o excellent_a even_o in_o temporal_a &_o familiar_a thing_n and_o what_o then_o shall_v it_o be_v about_o that_o which_o god_n only_o know_v and_o his_o divine_a majesty_n show_v well_o that_o he_o know_v it_o for_o he_o resolve_v when_o he_o thinkesfitt_a to_o pay_v the_o last_o labourer_n as_o well_o as_o the_o first_o i_o have_v write_v that_o which_o here_o i_o have_v deliver_v in_o these_o three_o sheet_n of_o paper_n at_o so_o many_o several_a time_n and_o in_o so_o several_a day_n for_o i_o have_v and_o have_v still_o as_o i_o have_v say_v so_o little_a mean_n and_o leisure_n that_o i_o have_v forget_v what_o i_o be_v beginning_n to_o say_v about_o this_o vision_n which_o follow_v but_o i_o see_v whilst_o i_o be_v in_o prayer_n a_o great_a field_n lie_v open_a and_o all_o apart_o by_o itself_o and_o that_o much_o company_n of_o
different_a kind_n be_v round_o about_o i_o which_o circle_v i_o in_o and_o it_o seem_v to_o i_o that_o cuerie_n one_o have_v offensive_a weapon_n in_o his_o hand_n wherewith_o to_o hurt_v i_o as_o lance_n sword_n and_o dagger_n and_o other_o have_v also_o long_a staff_n in_o a_o word_n i_o can_v not_o get_v from_o thence_o by_o any_o way_n or_o mean_n without_o danger_n of_o death_n especial_o be_v alone_o and_o not_o have_v any_o one_o creature_n to_o help_v i_o and_o be_v thus_o in_o so_o great_a affliction_n of_o spirit_n that_o i_o know_v not_o what_o to_o do_v i_o liftedup_a my_o eye_n towards_o heaven_n and_o see_v christ_n our_o lord_n not_o then_o in_o heaven_n but_o yet_o very_o high_a and_o far_o off_o from_o i_o in_o the_o air_n who_o reachtforth_o his_o hand_n towards_o i_o and_o favour_v i_o from_o thence_o in_o such_o sort_n that_o i_o fear_v neither_o all_o that_o other_o people_n nor_o yet_o these_o who_o all_o be_v unable_a to_o do_v i_o hurt_v how_o much_o soever_o they_o shall_v desire_v it_o this_o vision_n seem_v at_o the_o first_o sight_n to_o be_v without_o any_o fruit_n or_o good_a effect_n at_o all_o but_o it_o have_v yet_o do_v i_o a_o great_a deal_n of_o good_a because_o i_o have_v understand_v what_o it_o signify_v for_o i_o see_v myself_o in_o that_o encounter_n short_o after_o and_o know_v that_o it_o be_v nothing_o else_o but_o this_o vision_n and_o i_o also_o come_v to_o know_v it_o to_o be_v a_o very_a picture_n or_o rather_o map_n of_o the_o world_n for_o as_o many_o as_o be_v in_o it_o abstract_v ever_o from_o those_o few_o who_o apply_v themselves_o to_o do_v our_o lord_n particular_a service_n seem_v to_o carry_v arm_n against_o this_o wretched_a soul_n of_o we_o as_o namely_o honour_n estate_n delight_n and_o the_o like_a for_o it_o be_v evident_a that_o the_o soul_n be_v all_o overcast_v with_o a_o net_n before_o it_o be_v aware_a at_o least_o all_o these_o thing_n do_v the_o best_a they_o can_v to_o endanger_v and_o wrapp_v 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but_o find_v myself_o once_o very_o unquiet_a and_o in_o great_a disorder_n yea_o and_o in_o skirmish_n or_o rather_o in_o a_o very_a battle_n without_o be_v able_a to_o recollect_v myself_o yea_o and_o my_o thought_n be_v scatter_v and_o disperse_v upon_o thing_n which_o be_v not_o very_o perfect_a and_o withal_o not_o seem_v to_o be_v so_o utter_o untie_v from_o all_o thing_n as_o i_o use_v and_o be_v still_o so_o wicked_a as_o i_o be_v i_o grow_v afraid_a that_o the_o favour_n which_o our_o bless_a lord_n have_v do_v i_o may_v fallout_a to_o be_v illusion_n and_o in_o fine_a i_o then_o remain_v with_o a_o very_a great_a obscuritic_n of_o mind_n but_o now_o whilst_o i_o be_v in_o this_o pain_n our_o lord_n begin_v to_o speak_v to_o i_o and_o tell_v i_o that_o i_o must_v not_o be_v thus_o afflict_v but_o that_o find_v myself_o in_o that_o case_n i_o may_v well_o understand_v even_o thereby_o in_o how_o great_a misery_n i_o must_v remain_v if_o once_o he_o shall_v depart_v from_o i_o and_o that_o there_o be_v to_o be_v no_o security_n at_o all_o as_o long_o as_o we_o shall_v continue_v in_o this_o world_n i_o be_v also_o give_v to_o understand_v how_o well_o our_o labour_n be_v employ_v in_o this_o strife_n and_o war_n since_o it_o will_v not_o fail_v to_o be_v follow_v with_o so_o high_a a_o reward_n and_o i_o think_v our_o bless_a lord_n have_v compassion_n of_o they_o who_o live_v in_o this_o world_n but_o that_o i_o must_v not_o think_v that_o he_o have_v forget_v i_o yea_o and_o that_o he_o will_v never_o leave_v i_o but_o yet_o so_o as_o that_o still_o i_o must_v also_o do_v my_o part_n in_o help_v myself_o and_o this_o do_v our_o bless_a lord_n declare_v to_o i_o with_o a_o kind_n of_o tender_a compassion_n and_o regalo_n accompany_v with_o certain_a word_n whereby_o so_o high_a favour_n be_v do_v i_o as_o i_o need_v not_o stand_v here_o to_o relate_v and_o these_o other_o which_o follow_v here_o now_o his_o divine_a majesty_n say_v also_o often_o to_o i_o with_o demonstration_n of_o most_o particular_a love_n thou_o be_v now_o grow_v to_o be_v i_o and_o i_o be_o thou_o and_o those_o word_n which_o i_o be_o ever_o wont_a to_o say_v and_o to_o my_o think_n i_o say_v they_o with_o much_o truth_n be_v these_o which_o follow_v what_o care_v i_o o_o my_o lord_n for_o myself_o but_o only_o for_o thou_o but_o i_o confess_v those_o word_n of_o he_o to_o i_o be_v of_o great_a regalo_n to_o my_o hart_n though_o yet_o withal_o they_o be_v of_o excessive_a confusion_n when_o i_o remember_v what_o kind_n of_o creature_n i_o be_o but_o hart_n it_o seem_v that_o i_o have_v need_n of_o more_o courage_n for_o the_o receive_n of_o those_o high_a favour_n then_o even_o for_o the_o endure_a of_o unspeakable_a affliction_n but_o now_o when_o these_o thing_n be_v in_o motion_n all_o the_o poor_a good_a action_n of_o my_o life_n be_v utter_o forget_v by_o i_o and_o then_o it_o be_v only_o represent_v to_o my_o mind_n how_o wicked_a i_o be_o and_o that_o without_o any_o discourse_n at_o all_o of_o my_o understanding_n so_o that_o even_o this_o also_o do_v seem_v at_o certain_a time_n to_o have_v somewhat_o of_o the_o supernatural_a in_o it_o sometime_o there_o come_v also_o upon_o i_o so_o earnest_a and_o even_o eager_a appetite_n of_o receive_v the_o bless_a sacrament_n that_o i_o know_v not_o whether_o it_o can_v be_v possible_a for_o i_o to_o express_v they_o to_o the_o full_a it_o happen_v to_o i_o one_o morning_n that_o it_o rain_v so_o extreme_o as_o to_o seem_v no_o way_n fit_a for_o i_o to_o go_v out_o of_o door_n but_o yet_o be_v once_o get_v abroad_o i_o be_v already_o grow_v also_o to_o be_v so_o far_o out_o of_o myself_o through_o that_o desire_n of_o communicate_v that_o although_o they_o have_v set_v lance_n even_o point_v and_o hold_v fast_o against_o my_o very_a breast_n i_o think_v i_o can_v have_v pass_v even_o through_o they_o all_o and_o how_o much_o more_o then_o through_o water_n and_o as_o soon_o as_o i_o 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in_o this_o diamond_n it_o be_v such_o as_o that_o all_o thing_n be_v shutup_a in_o it_o because_o there_o be_v nothing_o which_o can_v get_v out_o of_o that_o greatness_n it_o be_v a_o thing_n extreme_o to_o amaze_v i_o to_o be_v able_a to_o see_v in_o so_o very_o short_a a_o time_n so_o many_o thing_n together_o in_o this_o bright_a diamond_n and_o so_o be_v it_o also_o matter_n of_o extreme_a compassion_n and_o grief_n for_o i_o every_o time_n that_o i_o remember_v myself_o to_o have_v see_v that_o thing_n so_o very_o ugly_a and_o foul_a as_o my_o sin_n be_v shall_v be_v represent_v and_o show_v in_o that_o so_o clearness_n of_o light_n and_o the_o truth_n be_v that_o whensoever_o i_o remember_v it_o i_o know_v not_o how_o it_o come_v to_o be_v possible_a for_o i_o to_o endure_v it_o and_o i_o do_v real_o then_o remain_v so_o extreme_o out_o of_o countenance_n and_o ashamed_a that_o i_o think_v i_o can_v not_o tell_v where_o to_o hide_v my_o head_n o_o vision_n that_o some_o 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this_o order_n shall_v flourish_v and_o have_v many_o martyr_n another_o time_n be_v at_o matin_n in_o the_o choir_n six_o or_o seven_o person_n be_v represent_v and_o set_v before_o i_o and_o i_o hold_v they_o to_o be_v of_o the_o same_o order_n and_o they_o have_v sword_n in_o their_o hand_n and_o i_o conceive_v that_o i_o be_v give_v thereby_o to_o understand_v that_o they_o shall_v defend_v the_o faith_n for_o be_v in_o prayer_n another_o time_n and_o rapt_v in_o spirit_n i_o think_v i_o be_v in_o a_o very_a spavous_a field_n where_o many_o be_v who_o fight_v and_o they_o of_o this_o order_n do_v also_o fight_v with_o great_a fervour_n they_o have_v their_o face_n beautiful_a and_o much_o inflame_v and_o they_o beat_v multitude_n of_o man_n down_o to_o the_o ground_n and_o killed_z other_o this_o battle_n seem_v to_o be_v give_v against_o heretic_n &_o i_o have_v see_v this_o glorious_a saint_n diverse_a time_n and_o he_o have_v tell_v i_o some_o thing_n and_o give_v i_o thanks_n for_o the_o prayer_n which_o i_o make_v for_o his_o order_n and_o he_o have_v promise_v that_o he_o will_v recommend_v i_o to_o our_o bless_a lord_n i_o specifye_v not_o the_o several_a order_n here_o lest_o some_o shall_v be_v offend_v at_o it_o and_o if_o our_o lord_n shall_v think_v it_o convenient_a he_o may_v declare_v they_o but_o every_o order_n shall_v procure_v and_o so_o shall_v every_o particular_a man_n of_o every_o order_n that_o in_o so_o great_a a_o necessity_n as_o that_o wherein_o the_o church_n be_v at_o this_o time_n they_o may_v be_v able_a to_o serve_v she_o for_o happy_a be_v those_o life_n which_o may_v come_v to_o loose_v themselves_o upon_o this_o occasion_n a_o certain_a person_n desire_v i_o once_o to_o beg_v of_o almighty_a god_n that_o i_o may_v understand_v whether_o or_o no_o it_o will_v be_v for_o the_o service_n of_o his_o divine_a majesty_n that_o he_o shall_v take_v a_o bishopric_n i_o do_v so_o and_o our_o lord_n make_v i_o this_o answer_n after_o i_o have_v communicate_v when_o he_o shall_v understand_v with_o all_o clearness_n and_o truth_n that_o true_a dominion_n consist_v in_o possess_v nothing_o he_o may_v take_v it_o then_o give_v thereby_o to_o understand_v that_o whosoever_o be_v to_o be_v a_o prelate_n must_v be_v very_o far_o from_o so_o much_o as_o desire_v it_o and_o yet_o further_o from_o procure_v it_o these_o favour_n and_o many_o other_o also_o have_v be_v and_o be_v still_o very_o ordinary_o show_v by_o our_o bless_a lord_n to_o this_o sinful_a woman_n which_o i_o think_v be_v not_o very_o necesarie_a to_o be_v relate_v since_o by_o those_o which_o be_v deliver_v already_o my_o soul_n together_o with_o the_o spirit_n which_o our_o lord_n have_v give_v i_o may_v be_v understand_v but_o let_v he_o be_v ever_o bless_v who_o have_v have_v so_o much_o care_n of_o i_o he_o tell_v i_o once_o by_o way_n of_o comfort_v i_o that_o i_o must_v not_o afflict_v myself_o and_o this_o he_o do_v with_o most_o tender_a love_n for_o that_o in_o this_o life_n of_o we_o we_o can_v not_o possible_o be_v always_o after_o the_o same_o manner_n but_o that_o sometime_o i_o will_v be_v in_o fervour_n and_o sometime_o without_o it_o sometime_o with_o unquietnes_n and_o temptation_n and_o sometime_o without_o they_o and_o in_o peace_n but_o that_o i_o must_v hope_v in_o he_o and_o fear_v nothing_o be_v one_o day_n in_o thought_n and_o doubt_v whether_o it_o be_v not_o a_o kind_n of_o be_v tie_v to_o creature_n to_o be_v glad_a to_o be_v with_o such_o person_n as_o with_o who_o i_o treat_v the_o business_n of_o my_o soul_n and_o to_o love_n both_o they_o and_o other_o also_o who_o i_o find_v to_o be_v the_o servant_n of_o almighty_a god_n and_o to_o receive_v comfort_n by_o be_v with_o they_o he_o tell_v i_o that_o if_o when_o a_o man_n be_v dangerous_o sick_a the_o presence_n of_o a_o physician_n seem_v even_o to_o restore_v he_o to_o health_n it_o will_v not_o be_v a_o virtue_n to_o forbear_v to_o be_v glad_a of_o he_o and_o to_o love_v he_o and_o what_o say_v he_o will_v thou_o have_v do_v if_o it_o have_v not_o be_v for_o such_o as_o they_o that_o he_o dislike_v not_o that_o conversation_n shall_v be_v hold_v with_o such_o as_o be_v good_a but_o that_o my_o word_n must_v ever_o be_v well_o consider_v and_o holy_a and_o that_o so_o it_o will_v be_v rather_o profitable_a to_o i_o then_o hurtful_a not_o to_o give-ove_a communication_n with_o they_o now_o this_o impart_v a_o particular_a comfort_n to_o i_o for_o sometime_o it_o will_v seem_v to_o be_v a_o have_v too_o great_a a_o tie_n upon_o creature_n which_o make_v i_o once_o incline_v to_o give-ove_a the_o custom_n
near_o they_o with_o hallow_v candle_n candle_n a_o excellent_a advice_n take_v heed_n of_o this_o great_a danger_n danger_n consider_v this_o point_n much_o and_o often_o often_o note_v this_o good_a conclusion_n upon_o the_o praemise_n praemise_n note_v this_o very_o well_o for_o nothing_o import_v more_o they_o this_o this_o a_o great_a and_o gross_a error_n error_n a_o point_n of_o very_o great_a importance_n importance_n note_n note_n this_o be_v the_o beginning_n of_o many_o great_a blessing_n blessing_n her_o entrance_n into_o the_o receave_n supernatural_a favour_n favour_n it_o work_n not_o indeed_o by_o way_n of_o use_v discourse_n or_o make_v inference_n but_o yet_o it_o work_v by_o way_n of_o contemplation_n and_o admiration_n of_o the_o infinite_a object_n be_v god_n who_o be_v set_v before_o it_o it_o note_n note_n a_o great_a &_o foolish_a error_n error_n behold_v here_o the_o true_a &_o great_a impediment_n impediment_n this_o saint_n be_v admirable_a in_o all_o the_o comparison_n which_o the_o use_n use_n this_o be_v a_o kind_n of_o engine_n with_o certain_a little_a leather_n bucket_n fasten_v to_o the_o side_n of_o a_o very_a great_a wheel_n which_o dra_n be_v up_o very_o much_o water_n with_o great_a ease_n in_o spanish_a it_o be_v call_v a_o noria_n noria_n a_o good_a lesson_n lesson_n a_o consideration_n of_o much_o comfort_n comfort_n a_o hard_a question_n most_o clear_o and_o excellent_o answer_v answer_v mark_v well_o these_o masculine_a and_o massy_a word_n word_n note_n note_n this_o suspending_a of_o the_o thought_n or_o understanding_n of_o which_o the_o saint_n speak_v be_v a_o present_v a_o multitude_n of_o supernatural_a and_o divine_a object_n before_o it_o together_o with_o a_o copious_a infusion_n of_o light_n which_o be_v decern_v by_o it_o after_o a_o kind_n of_o intuitive_a way_n at_o once_o without_o discourse_n or_o trouble_v and_o this_o light_n rest_v not_o there_o but_o passes-on_a to_o the_o will_n and_o grow_n to_o be_v as_o so_o much_o fire_n for_o the_o inflame_a it_o in_o the_o love_n of_o our_o lord_n and_o the_o soul_n do_v more_o proper_o suffer_v here_o then_o act_n and_o now_o the_o saint_n give_v great_a warning_n that_o people_n be_v not_o so_o foolish_a as_o to_o offer_v at_o these_o thing_n of_o themselves_o a_o great_a truth_n truth_n a_o dangerous_a &_o proud_n foolish_a error_n error_n observe_v the_o generous_a way_n of_o this_o great_a saint_n saint_n note_v this_o very_a well_o well_o a_o great_a praise_n of_o a_o large_a hart_n hart_n how_o saint_n be_v to_o be_v imitate_v &_o how_o admire_v admire_v note_v this_o well_o well_o a_o necessary_a advice_n advice_n our_o daily_a bread_n bread_n a_o description_n of_o a_o good_a director_n in_o matter_n of_o spirit_n spirit_n note_n note_n how_o the_o will_n be_v to_o carry_v itself_o to_o the_o other_o faculty_n of_o the_o mind_n mind_n the_o blessing_n of_o quiet_a prayer_n prayer_n note_n note_n note_n note_n how_o the_o soul_n be_v to_o carry_v itself_o in_o quiet_a prayer_n prayer_n note_n note_n a_o true_a &_o happy_a comparison_n comparison_n the_o good_a spirit_n very_o easy_o discern_v from_o the_o bad_a bad_a note_v this_o point_n above_o all_o all_o a_o most_o necessary_a document_n document_n a_o great_a blessing_n by_o mean_n of_o this_o prayer_n prayer_n these_o be_v the_o more_o generous_a mind_n mind_n as_o when_o one_o be_v die_v die_v this_o be_v a_o admirable_a state_n of_o mind_n mind_n the_o true_a state_n of_o the_o power_n of_o the_o mind_n in_o this_o prayer_n how_o there_o be_v a_o union_n in_o this_o prayer_n &_o how_o there_o be_v none_o none_o the_o great_a effect_n of_o this_o high_a prayer_n prayer_n the_o difference_n betweme_v elevation_n and_o union_n union_n she_o proceed_v in_o declare_v the_o great_a effect_n of_o this_o high_a prayer_n prayer_n a_o consideration_n of_o strange_a comfort_n comfort_n this_o be_v strange_a indeed_o indeed_o the_o strong_a pillar_n of_o prayer_n prayer_n consider_v this_o very_a well_o well_o take_v heed_n heed_n a_o most_o dangerous_a temptation_n temptation_n consider_v and_o admire_v this_o passage_n passage_n the_o manner_n &_o nature_n of_o rapt_n rapt_n the_o effect_n of_o rapt_n rapt_n the_o strange_a state_n of_o mind_n which_o perhaps_o be_v describe_v in_o the_o whole_a book_n book_n the_o effect_n of_o rapt_n rapt_n this_o saint_n it_o admirable_a in_o her_o comparison_n comparison_n other_o great_a effect_n of_o true_a rapt_n rapt_n her_o great_a zeal_n for_o the_o conversion_n of_o king_n king_n she_o allude_v to_o comet_n and_o blaze_a star_n star_n a_o rare_a expression_n expression_n anopinion_n which_o be_v more_o probable_a then_o true_a true_a this_o seem_v to_o have_v be_v a_o foolish_a and_o ill-favoured_a kind_n of_o error_n in_o those_o other_o other_o that_o be_v by_o several_a vision_n vision_n a_o sweet_a and_o just_a complaint_n and_o worthy_a of_o the_o saint_n who_o make_v it_o it_o by_o vision_n vision_n believe_v and_o consider_v this_o most_o certain_a truth_n truth_n a_o doubt_n which_o can_v easy_o be_v solue_v solue_v she_o grow_n now_o to_o make_v serious_a enquiry_n after_o a_o good_a director_n director_n the_o only_a excellent_a course_n course_n this_o holy_a man_n enter_v often_o into_o the_o story_n of_o our_o saint_n saint_n this_o be_v no_o improbable_a opinion_n though_o it_o be_v no_o true_a one_o one_o so_o good_a a_o begin_n be_v almost_o a_o kind_n of_o perfect_v the_o work_n work_n the_o saint_n begann_v here_o to_o be_v happy_a happy_a this_o be_v a_o wise_a man_n &_o likely_a to_o work_n wonder_v upon_o a_o soul_n soul_n he_o lose_v nothing_o by_o leave_v to_o be_v a_o duke_n for_o god_n sake_n sake_n this_o must_v needs_o have_v be_v a_o holy_a and_o a_o wise_a man_n man_n a_o little_a of_o this_o go_v far_o far_o so_o true_a it_o be_v that_o god_n be_v god_n god_n the_o mighty_a force_n and_o power_n of_o any_o one_o supernatural_a word_n word_n the_o infinite_a difference_n betweme_v supernatural_a word_n of_o god_n &_o all_o other_o other_o a_o strange_a encounter_n encounter_n great_a power_n of_o our_o lord_n lord_n how_o quick_o she_o get_v courage_n against_o the_o devil_n devil_n a_o most_o certain_a truth_n truth_n this_o be_v a_o very_a ill_a advice_n indeed_o indeed_o the_o incredible_a dear_a sweetness_n of_o our_o b._n lord_n to_o a_o soul_n soul_n observe_v this_o well_o well_o this_o saint_n you_o see_v be_v certain_o no_o protestant_n protestant_n the_o masque_n of_o pride_n pride_n a_o admirable_a example_n of_o penance_n penance_n humane_a frailty_n and_o celestial_a glory_n be_v not_o compatible_a compatible_a imaginary_a vision_n represent_v to_o &_o by_o the_o sense_n be_v of_o the_o low_a rank_n &_o most_o subject_a to_o danger_n danger_n the_o great_a effect_n of_o a_o admirable_a and_o most_o sublime_a vision_n vision_n the_o difference_n be_v easy_o find_v both_o between_v a_o true_a vision_n and_o a_o false_a and_o between_v a_o true_a vision_n and_o a_o fancy_n fancy_n a_o plain_a demonstration_n demonstration_n in_o order_n to_o the_o guide_v of_o other_o a_o director_n may_v easy_o have_v too_o mean_a a_o optnion_n of_o himself_o himself_o this_o saint_n be_v huge_o vex_v by_o the_o insatisfaction_n which_o she_o receive_v from_o many_o spiritual_a man_n man_n this_o be_v very_o fit_a to_o be_v know_v know_v this_o be_v a_o true_a fortiter_fw-la sed_fw-la suaviter_fw-la suaviter_fw-la this_o saint_n be_v most_o strange_o familiar_o and_o supernatural_o visit_v by_o our_o b_o lord_n lord_n a_o strange_a task_n which_o be_v put_v even_o by_o holy_a man_n upon_o this_o saint_n saint_n the_o more_o she_o be_v discountenance_v even_o by_o good_a man_n so_o much_o the_o more_o high_o be_v she_o favour_v by_o our_o lord_n lord_n a_o rare_a comparison_n comparison_n still_o more_o &_o more_o excellent_a comparison_n comparison_n a_o excellent_a &_o most_o necessary_a advice_n advice_n a_o strange_a mixture_n of_o affection_n but_o such_o as_o god_n know_v how_o to_o give_v give_v this_o grief_n be_v after_o the_o rate_n of_o the_o love_n love_n a_o very_a safe_a and_o wise_a way_n of_o proceed_v proceed_v this_o be_v a_o most_o certain_a truth_n truth_n here_o follow_v a_o whole_a world_n of_o sad_a temptation_n &_o trouble_n trouble_n the_o difference_n betweme_v divine_a and_o diabolical_a grief_n of_o mind_n mind_n the_o way_n &_o manner_n of_o a_o great_a desolation_n desolation_n a_o pretty_a humour_n humour_n a_o happy_a state_n state_n she_o make_v along_o discourse_n of_o the_o diabolical_a temptation_n &_o trouble_n to_o which_o she_o be_v subject_a subject_a the_o excellency_n of_o holy_a water_n water_n a_o great_a and_o just_a consolation_n consolation_n a_o question_n worthy_a of_o he_o that_o ask_v it_o it_o this_o be_v a_o very_a great_a truth_n but_o the_o accent_n must_v be_v put_v upon_o the_o word_n indeed_o indeed_o and_o though_o she_o shall_v have_v continue_v to_o ask_v it_o i_o dare_v say_v our_o lord_n will_v not_o have_v grant_v it_o it_o a_o must_v certain_a truth_n truth_n a_o wise_a &_o solid_a truth_n truth_n exercise_n of_o prayer_n and_o love_n of_o honour_n agree_v not_o well_o together_o together_o this_o be_v not_o to_o be_v literal_o understand_v for_o the_o devil_n can_v prepare_v no_o place_n for_o a_o soul_n in_o hell_n but_o by_o the_o decree_n of_o almighty_a god_n upon_o the_o particular_a judgement_n give_v at_o the_o death_n of_o the_o party_n party_n the_o sin_n of_o ingratitude_n discorrespondence_n and_o inordinate_a affection_n to_o creature_n which_o she_o do_v commit_v and_o the_o great_a and_o mortal_a sin_n which_o she_o will_v most_o certain_o have_v commit_v if_o the_o mercy_n of_o our_o bless_a lord_n have_v not_o prevent_v and_o withhold_v she_o she_o hell_n be_v represent_v to_o she_o in_o spirit_n after_o a_o most_o subtle_a manner_n and_o it_o be_v show_v to_o she_o and_o describe_v by_o she_o in_o such_o sort_n as_o that_o such_o creature_n may_v be_v capable_a thereof_o as_o be_v endue_v not_o only_o with_o mind_n but_o with_o body_n body_n the_o excellent_a fruit_n which_o this_o saint_n do_v gather_v from_o this_o great_a favour_n which_o seem_v to_o be_v the_o sole_a cause_n why_o our_o b._n lord_n be_v please_v to_o impair_v this_o favour_n favour_n the_o great_a benefit_n of_o this_o favour_n favour_n vide_fw-la supra_fw-la fol_n 471._o 471._o a_o sweet_a effect_n of_o a_o sad_a cause_n cause_n a_o sad_a and_o strange_a proceed_n proceed_n how_o one_o suspicion_n u._fw-mi wont_a to_o three_o itself_o close_o upon_o another_o another_o a_o holy_a &_o wise_a man_n man_n all_o these_o thing_n and_o the_o like_a as_o namely_o dart_n or_o chain_n or_o crown_n or_o jewel_n etc._n etc._n be_v not_o to_o be_v understoood_a after_o a_o gross_a &_o material_a way_n but_o yet_o that_o real_o they_o have_v truth_n in_o their_o be_v represent_v distinct_o &_o clear_o to_o the_o imagination_n of_o the_o party_n and_o they_o chief_o serve_v as_o testimony_n &_o sign_n of_o those_o interior_a grace_n &_o virtue_n which_o use_v to_o be_v imprint_v upon_o soul_n at_o those_o very_a time_n by_o the_o mercy_n of_o our_o b._n lord_n lord_n she_o mean_v herself_o herself_o this_o saint_n be_v a_o excellent_a person_n to_o make_v a_o friend_n of_o of_o a_o very_a strange_a demonstration_n of_o a_o most_o civil_a noble_a and_o friendly_a hart_n hart_n our_o bless_a lord_n be_v still_o as_o good_a as_o his_o word_n word_n the_o great_a charity_n &_o humility_n of_o the_o saint_n saint_n how_o devout_a this_o dear_a saint_n be_v be_v they_o be_v very_o noble_a though_o they_o be_v poor_a poor_a the_o devil_n be_v still_o himself_o himself_o this_o be_v such_o a_o kind_n of_o world_n as_o wherein_o thing_n will_v ever_o go_v thus_o thus_o a_o true_a answer_n to_o all_o the_o devil_n objection_n objection_n note_v the_o description_n which_o the_o saint_n make_v here_o of_o her_o religious_a religious_a this_o fast_a of_o the_o order_n be_v not_o so_o strict_a and_o rigorous_a as_o that_o of_o the_o church_n but_o be_v rather_o a_o forbearance_n of_o half_a the_o meal_n than_o a_o fast_a fast_a this_o point_n of_o have_v so_o very_a few_o in_o a_o monastery_n be_v partly_o mean_v for_o they_o who_o be_v to_o live_v in_o any_o place_n on_o alm_n and_o partly_o because_o the_o saint_n have_v see_v some_o disorder_n by_o have_v too_o many_o religious_a in_o other_o house_n and_o yet_o the_o saint_n herself_o come_v afterward_o to_o admit_v of_o twenty_o in_o stead_n of_o twelue_v and_o will_v perhaps_o have_v admit_v more_o if_o she_o have_v find_v reason_n for_o it_o it_o she_o inveigh_v with_o much_o reason_n against_o vain_a compliment_n and_o especial_o among_o religious_a people_n people_n a_o excellent_a &_o most_o useful_a document_n document_n a_o true_a noble_a &_o most_o generous_a hart_n hart_n great_a effect_n of_o a_o vision_n