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the_o gospel_n and_o that_o which_o every_o one_o ought_v to_o be_v full_o satisfy_v in_o before_o they_o enter_v upon_o this_o be_v now_o more_o clear_v unto_o i_o my_o desire_n and_o long_n after_o the_o enjoyment_n of_o god_n in_o this_o zion_n grow_v more_o strong_a and_o earnest_a i_o continual_o mention_v it_o before_o the_o lord_n after_o this_o real_o i_o can_v tell_v but_o that_o i_o shall_v rob_v the_o lord_n of_o his_o glory_n in_o this_o particular_a if_o i_o shall_v not_o also_o acknowledge_v he_o further_o by_o my_o poor_a
christ_n heart_n and_o see_v with_o what_o bowel_n of_o affection_n he_o speak_v how_o free_o himself_n offer_v the_o riches_n of_o mercy_n take_v why_o what_o or_o who_o shall_v we_o take_v but_o himself_o possess_v himself_o thus_o he_o stand_v call_v and_o cry_v take_v i_o love_v i_o receive_v i_o eat_v i_o drink_v i_o let_v i_o be_v you_o oh_o high_a love_n he_o do_v not_o bid_v the_o soul_n take_v wrath_n vengeance_n death_n or_o hell_n but_o take_v i_o second_o his_o command_n be_v more_o to_o pleasure_v you_o then_o himself_o why_o shall_v we_o take_v christ_n why_o this_o be_v my_o body_n that_o be_v break_v for_o you_o my_o blood_n that_o be_v shed_v for_o you_o take_v i_o for_o your_o own_o sake_n for_o you_o need_v i_o to_o refresh_v your_o heart_n therefore_o take_v i_o not_o that_o i_o shall_v be_v the_o better_a by_o it_o but_o that_o you_o may_v have_v more_o pleasure_n and_o delight_n in_o i_o that_o may_v do_v you_o all_o good_a oh_o high_a love_n three_o observe_v 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break_v for_o you_o will_v you_o throw_v away_o that_o which_o be_v for_o you_o but_o you_o be_v unworthy_a why_o this_o be_v that_o which_o make_v you_o worthy_a because_o this_o be_v that_o out_o of_o which_o issue_v out_o all_o righteousness_n to_o you_o and_o though_o they_o may_v cry_v out_o they_o be_v unfit_a he_o command_v they_o to_o remember_v how_o fit_a christ_n be_v for_o they_o for_o who_o be_v bread_n fit_v but_o for_o they_o that_o be_v weak_a and_o need_v nourishment_n for_o who_o be_v that_o wine_n but_o he_o that_o be_v of_o a_o sorrowful_a heart_n for_o who_o be_v that_o act_n of_o christ_n but_o for_o that_o soul_n that_o cry_v lord_n i_o be_o unworthy_a thou_o shall_v come_v under_o my_o roof_n seven_o he_o say_v take_v which_o be_v a_o give_v a_o man_n a_o propriety_n and_o possession_n of_o himself_o and_o this_o be_v that_o indeed_o this_o ordinance_n give_v forth_o when_o a_o man_n so_o take_v christ_n as_o that_o christ_n be_v his_o take_n eat_z this_o be_v 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eat_v imply_v that_o no_o saint_n can_v say_v lord_z i_o have_v a_o desire_n to_o eat_v but_o here_o be_v not_o enough_o they_o can_v say_v i_o have_v sin_n and_o guilt_n but_o can_v find_v no_o pardon_n no_o christ_n bid_v you_o eat_v imply_v there_o be_v enough_o to_o feed_v on_o 2._o he_o set_v you_o no_o time_n neither_o but_o eat_v as_o long_o as_o you_o live_v yea_o until_o his_o come_n again_o o_o how_o abundant_o do_v those_o hint_n take_v upon_o my_o heart_n and_o even_o swallow_v up_o my_o soul_n in_o the_o admiration_n of_o that_o love_n the_o lord_n grant_v it_o may_v abide_v upon_o my_o spirit_n for_o ever_o march_v the_o 30_o the_o lord_n be_v please_v in_o some_o measure_n to_o give_v in_o a_o answer_n to_o that_o desire_n put_v up_o march_v 25._o for_o the_o pour_v out_o of_o his_o spirit_n upon_o the_o brethren_n through_o who_o the_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o appear_v lively_a in_o my_o apprehension_n and_o in_o a_o spiritual_a manner_n in_o he_o who_o spirit_n seem_v 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gracious_a answer_n to_o it_o as_o also_o that_o he_o will_v be_v please_v to_o pour_v out_o his_o spirit_n upon_o she_o and_o let_v it_o be_v a_o spirit_n of_o grace_n and_o supplication_n in_o the_o sense_n of_o the_o want_n of_o which_o her_o spirit_n groan_v for_o before_o he_o as_o also_o under_o the_o sight_n of_o her_o unprofitableness_n under_o all_o ordinance_n beseech_v he_o that_o as_o it_o be_v he_o and_o he_o alone_o that_o cause_v his_o people_n to_o profit_n so_o that_o he_o will_v please_v to_o give_v out_o to_o this_o his_o
month_n observe_v mr._n knight_n somewhat_o astonish_v at_o the_o passage_n of_o providence_n in_o the_o government_n upon_o which_o for_o some_o time_n he_o be_v very_o weak_a in_o pray_v for_o it_o and_o seek_v the_o lord_n for_o they_o in_o place_n which_o be_v a_o great_a trouble_n to_o my_o spirit_n whereupon_o i_o make_v a_o draught_n of_o a_o letter_n to_o send_v to_o he_o wherein_o i_o present_v he_o with_o my_o scatter_a thought_n desire_v he_o to_o take_v a_o view_n of_o what_o he_o deliver_v to_o we_o the_o last_o thanksgiving_n day_n from_o that_o isai_n 65._o 24._o before_o they_o call_v i_o will_v answer_v show_v that_o god_n be_v so_o quick_a in_o his_o work_n in_o these_o latter_a day_n that_o he_o often_o leave_v his_o own_o behind_o with_o some_o other_o such_o hint_n which_o letter_n i_o do_v not_o send_v fear_v to_o press_v too_o far_o upon_o my_o own_o ability_n in_o that_o kind_n but_o how_o abundant_o do_v the_o lord_n answer_v those_o desire_n which_o be_v 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the_o time_n wherein_o they_o shall_v dishonour_v god_n no_o more_o but_o shall_v be_v make_v like_o unto_o he_o desire_v your_o remembrance_n before_o the_o lord_n to_o those_o end_n that_o see_v his_o will_n be_v in_o those_o thing_n and_o that_o the_o promise_n be_v so_o full_a concern_v the_o accomplishment_n of_o it_o that_o he_o will_v please_v to_o discover_v to_o their_o soul_n why_o it_o be_v that_o the_o work_n go_v so_o heavy_o on_o and_o what_o shall_v be_v discover_v to_o be_v the_o let_v it_o may_v also_o by_o he_o be_v remove_v whatever_o it_o be_v though_o in_o thing_n never_o so_o near_o and_o dear_a and_o their_o heart_n support_v and_o bear_v up_o and_o make_v submissively-willing_a to_o lie_v down_o at_o his_o foot_n to_o be_v make_v to_o do_v to_o bear_v to_o suffer_v to_o forsake_v any_o thing_n for_o his_o glory_n but_o how_o gracious_o do_v the_o lord_n this_o same_o day_n be_v the_o ten_o day_n of_o this_o six_o month_n begin_v to_o answer_v one_o main_a thing_n in_o this_o request_n discover_v to_o my_o soul_n that_o haply_o one_o main_a end_n why_o he_o do_v not_o perfect_a this_o work_n of_o holiness_n in_o i_o but_o suffer_v corruption_n still_o to_o work_v may_v be_v that_o i_o may_v yet_o cry_v out_o more_o mighty_o to_o he_o haply_o i_o have_v not_o be_v so_o importunate_a in_o my_o desire_n after_o sanctification_n as_o after_o remission_n and_o pardon_n and_o the_o sight_n of_o sin_n and_o that_o the_o lord_n will_v have_v i_o yet_o to_o cry_v more_o mighty_o and_o wrestle_v it_o out_o with_o he_o and_o resolve_v to_o give_v he_o no_o rest_n yet_o not_o that_o i_o shall_v content_v myself_o in_o pour_v out_o those_o desire_n to_o he_o and_o so_o rest_v there_o as_o be_v also_o hint_v to_o i_o the_o same_o day_n but_o to_o be_v watchful_a over_o my_o heart_n and_o conscience_n watch_v and_o pray_v call_v and_o cry_v until_o the_o lord_n appear_v and_o not_o to_o think_v it_o enough_o to_o spread_v these_o desire_n before_o the_o lord_n and_o then_o give_v way_n to_o sin_n and_o temptation_n and_o corruption_n and_o as_o be_v the_o next_o day_n the_o eleven_o of_o this_o 6_o month_n 1653._o hint_v to_o i_o what_o be_v god_n end_n in_o discover_v the_o power_n and_o strength_n of_o sin_n but_o that_o we_o come_v more_o near_o to_o he_o and_o by_o faith_n roll_n upon_o his_o covenant_n and_o promise_v for_o strength_n against_o it_o and_o on_o the_o other_o side_n what_o be_v satan_n end_n in_o set_v home_o sin_n with_o the_o aggravation_n of_o it_o but_o to_o make_v we_o sit_v down_o in_o discouragement_n now_o o_o my_o soul_n be_v it_o better_o for_o thou_o to_o accomplish_v god_n end_n or_o satan_n end_n oh_o therefore_o close_o in_o with_o god_n &_o beg_v power_n and_o strength_n of_o he_o to_o do_v it_o nay_o in_o far_a answer_n the_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o enable_v i_o to_o expostulate_v with_o that_o unbelief_n and_o first_o of_o my_o own_o heart_n this_o eleven_o day_n say_v o_o my_o soul_n be_v it_o not_o thy_o duty_n to_o believe_v for_o be_v it_o not_o say_v bless_a be_v they_o that_o believe_v though_o thou_o see_v not_o lust_n and_o corruption_n subdue_v by_o the_o eye_n of_o sense_n yet_o o_o my_o soul_n roll_n upon_o the_o covenant_n and_o promise_n by_o faith_n for_o faith_n be_v the_o substance_n of_o thing_n not_o see_v and_o the_o evidence_n of_o thing_n hope_v for_o therefore_o when_o thou_o come_v to_o be_v full_o rid_v of_o this_o body_n of_o death_n than_o faith_n shall_v cease_v and_o be_v of_o no_o use_n but_o now_o be_v the_o time_n to_o act_v faith_n when_o thou_o can_v by_o the_o eye_n of_o sense_n see_v nothing_o but_o thyself_o to_o be_v compass_v in_o with_o a_o body_n of_o death_n and_o corruption_n and_o for_o the_o want_n of_o the_o sight_n of_o holiness_n perfect_v in_o the_o fear_n of_o god_n the_o lord_n do_v not_o only_o discover_v that_o his_o will_n lie_v in_o this_o work_n that_o it_o be_v his_o will_n even_o our_o sanctification_n and_o that_o we_o may_v well_o remember_v he_o with_o it_o and_o pray_v as_o he_o teach_v we_o that_o his_o will_n may_v be_v do_v so_o it_o shall_v certain_o be_v but_o do_v the_o lord_n discover_v to_o my_o soul_n the_o eleven_o of_o this_o month_n that_o this_o also_o be_v part_n of_o the_o prayer_n of_o christ_n sanctify_v they_o through_o thy_o truth_n joh._n 17._o and_o he_o say_v in_o joh._n 11._o speak_v at_o lasazrus_n his_o grave_n i_o thank_v thou_o o_o father_n that_o thou_o have_v hear_v i_o always_o but_o i_o speak_v it_o for_o their_o sake_n that_o they_o may_v believe_v now_o o_o my_o soul_n if_o this_o be_v christ_n prayer_n and_o that_o as_o he_o say_v joh._n 17._o not_o for_o the_o disciple_n only_o but_o all_o that_o shall_v after_o believe_v and_o if_o god_n hear_v he_o in_o what_o ever_o he_o ask_v as_o he_o say_v he_o do_v then_o o_o my_o soul_n up_o and_o believe_v for_o this_o work_n shall_v certain_o go_v on_o the_o truth_n be_v the_o lord_n do_v herein_o not_o only_o answer_v to_o this_o but_o to_o the_o other_o request_n also_o that_o be_v this_o day_n present_v so_o that_o the_o lord_n do_v answer_v they_o both_o even_o as_o i_o do_v at_o once_o present_v they_o both_o bless_v for_o ever_o be_v his_o name_n which_o gracious_a answer_n cause_v my_o soul_n the_o next_o day_n to_o present_v this_o short_a desire_n also_o to_o mr._n knight_n to_o be_v put_v up_o to_o god_n in_o way_n of_o thanks_o say_v one_o who_o the_o lord_n have_v be_v please_v through_o rich_a grace_n and_o mercy_n to_o hear_v and_o answer_v since_o our_o last_o meeting_n desire_v to_o
may_v prove_v the_o real_a advantage_n of_o spiritual_a good_a to_o my_o soul_n yet_o fear_v whether_o it_o do_v indeed_o come_v from_o he_o or_o no_o cause_v some_o tremble_n upon_o my_o spirit_n how_o to_o act_v if_o it_o be_v a_o plot_n of_o he_o it_o be_v a_o fair_a one_o arise_v after_o this_o manner_n have_v often_o find_v great_a appearance_n of_o god_n as_o i_o hope_v i_o may_v say_v to_o his_o praise_n i_o have_v in_o other_o of_o his_o ordinance_n but_o find_v my_o heart_n oftentimes_o very_o much_o shut_v up_o as_o it_o be_v and_o give_v over_o to_o deadness_n dulness_n and_o heaviness_n of_o spirit_n which_o be_v no_o way_n suitable_a to_o a_o spiritual_a heart_n and_o soul-quickning_a ordinance_n and_o find_v this_o very_a much_o to_o prevail_v even_o at_o this_o present_a desire_v your_o prayer_n that_o the_o lord_n will_v direct_v i_o what_o to_o do_v by_o discover_v to_o my_o soul_n whether_o indeed_o it_o do_v arise_v from_o a_o subtlety_n of_o satan_n yea_o or_o no_o or_o whether_o it_o be_v a_o lively_a alarm_n from_o heaven_n to_o my_o soul_n thus_o tremble_v in_o myself_o whether_o my_o forbearance_n may_v not_o be_v find_v a_o yield_n to_o satan_n or_o whether_o on_o the_o other_o side_n i_o may_v not_o attempt_v and_o provoke_v the_o lord_n by_o rush_v unprepared_o upon_o his_o holy_a thing_n thus_o desire_v to_o give_v up_o myself_o into_o the_o hand_n of_o the_o lord_n wait_v for_o the_o breathe_n of_o his_o spirit_n through_o the_o help_n of_o your_o prayer_n i_o beseech_v the_o lord_n alone_o to_o guide_v and_o lead_v my_o soul_n in_o all_o its_o motion_n and_o action_n in_o this_o present_a world_n until_o he_o shall_v bring_v it_o to_o a_o full_a enjoyment_n of_o himself_o in_o the_o perfection_n of_o holiness_n which_o my_o soul_n wait_v and_o long_v for_o where_o i_o shall_v full_o enjoy_v what_o now_o my_o poor_a soul_n have_v but_o a_o transient_a taste_n of_o which_o the_o lord_n accomplish_v in_o his_o own_o time_n and_o make_v i_o 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now_o at_o his_o right_a hand_n plead_v for_o i_o that_o i_o may_v not_o be_v pull_v out_o of_o his_o hand_n for_o how_o can_v the_o lord_n endure_v wickedness_n any_o lust_n or_o corruption_n to_o possess_v my_o heart_n and_o take_v the_o sceptre_n out_o of_o his_o hand_n and_o so_o to_o rule_v and_o reign_v over_o i_o nay_o can_v my_o soul_n bear_v it_o to_o be_v thus_o overpowred_n and_o to_o have_v my_o heart_n thus_o draw_v from_o christ_n and_o thus_o captivate_v by_o sin_n and_o satan_n when_o one_o word_n of_o his_o mouth_n can_v set_v my_o soul_n at_o liberty_n beseech_v the_o lord_n to_o search_v i_o and_o to_o try_v i_o for_o he_o know_v whether_o those_o desire_n and_o tear_n and_o groan_n come_v from_o my_o heart_n yea_o or_o no_o yea_o i_o know_v thou_o do_v search_v i_o and_o know_v my_o heart_n but_o lord_n discover_v also_o to_o i_o and_o if_o there_o be_v any_o hypocrisy_n in_o my_o spirit_n in_o this_o regard_n oh_o that_o thou_o will_v answer_v i_o so_o by_o fire_n to_o consume_v that_o dross_n and_o corruption_n in_o my_o soul_n yea_o whatsoever_o thyrighteous_a eyesee_v in_o i_o that_o be_v darken_v to_o thy_o glory_n and_o withal_o tell_v the_o lord_n how_o like_o a_o flood_n of_o mighty_a water_n this_o corruption_n come_v in_o upon_o i_o one_o wave_z following_z another_z that_o i_o have_v no_o power_n to_o withstand_v it_o though_o he_o have_v discover_v much_o of_o himself_o to_o my_o sonl_n and_o of_o the_o riches_n of_o his_o grace_n and_o emptiness_n of_o all_o other_o thing_n that_o yet_o my_o soul_n shall_v so_o run_v after_o vanity_n beseech_v the_o lord_n to_o give_v a_o real_a turn_n to_o all_o the_o affection_n of_o my_o soul_n and_o to_o fix_v they_o upon_o the_o lord_n jesus_n christ_n where_o they_o shall_v be_v sure_a to_o be_v return_v this_o be_v in_o the_o morning_n of_o the_o 10._o day_n than_o do_v the_o lord_n further_o satisfy_v and_o quiet_v my_o heart_n in_o my_o evening_n sacrifice_n that_o same_o day_n his_o spirit_n breathe_v in_o my_o soul_n after_o this_o manner_n dear_a lord_n oh_o that_o thou_o will_v suppress_v this_o spirit_n of_o murmur_a under_o thy_o hand_n and_o if_o thou_o will_v have_v thy_o poor_a creature_n still_o to_o wrestle_v and_o strive_v under_o a_o body_n of_o death_n and_o corruption_n and_o temptation_n and_o snare_n and_o entanglement_n oh_o that_o thou_o will_v help_v i_o in_o this_o work_n that_o i_o may_v not_o yield_v under_o it_o but_o may_v hold_v out_o in_o a_o continual_a resistance_n and_o sigh_v and_o never_o give_v over_o or_o make_v any_o peace_n with_o sin_n and_o though_o thou_o do_v not_o see_v meet_a utter_o to_o root_v out_o sin_n yet_o oh_o lord_n give_v it_o its_o deadly_a blow_n let_v it_o be_v still_o die_v and_o wither_v and_o decay_v and_o work_v in_o my_o soul_n grow_v and_o increase_v even_o until_o thou_o have_v full_o perfect_v it_o about_o the_o ten_o of_o this_o eight_o month_n this_o experience_n be_v give_v in_o to_o my_o soul_n by_o the_o lord_n concern_v satan_n deal_n with_o my_o soul_n and_o some_o refreshment_n to_o support_v my_o spirit_n under_o it_o oh_o my_o soul_n have_v not_o satan_n deal_v with_o thou_o concern_v this_o great_a ordinance_n of_o the_o lord_n supper_n even_o as_o he_o have_v former_o do_v concern_v the_o great_a duty_n of_o prayer_n how_o often_o have_v he_o suggest_v to_o thou_o that_o it_o be_v to_o no_o end_n to_o pray_v to_o the_o lord_n reason_v thus_o with_o thou_o oftentimes_o do_v thou_o think_v there_o be_v any_o such_o god_n as_o thou_o pray_v to_o do_v he_o ever_o hear_v thou_o or_o give_v thou_o any_o token_n of_o answer_n why_o then_o do_v thou_o continual_o appeal_v to_o he_o and_o pour_v out_o thy_o soul_n before_o he_o and_o have_v he_o not_o do_v just_o thus_o about_o this_o ordinance_n of_o the_o lord_n supper_n thou_o wicked_a spirit_n how_o often_o have_v thou_o be_v prove_v a_o liar_n what_o eminent_a token_n have_v god_n give_v i_o of_o his_o hear_n prayer_n from_o time_n to_o time_n both_o concern_v myself_o and_o other_o and_o therein_o have_v prove_v thou_o a_o liar_n and_o why_o then_o oh_o my_o soul_n shall_v thou_o not_o believe_v that_o satan_n will_v also_o prove_v a_o liar_n in_o this_o be_v not_o the_o lord_n yesterday_o and_o to_o day_n and_o for_o ever_o be_v his_o arm_n shorten_v or_o his_o hand_n weaken_v that_o he_o can_v save_v and_o deliver_v and_o appear_v to_o thou_o in_o as_o glorious_a a_o manner_n as_o ever_o oh_o then_o wait_v for_o he_o and_o what_o if_o thou_o wait_v until_o thy_o dissolution_n it_o will_v be_v happiness_n more_o than_o thou_o do_v deserve_v to_o be_v find_v wait_v yet_o thou_o do_v not_o know_v how_o soon_o he_o may_v appear_v to_o thou_o about_o the_o middle_n of_o the_o eight_o month_n 1653_o o_o my_o soul_n what_o be_v thy_o continue_a fear_n be_v they_o not_o lest_o any_o thing_n shall_v withdraw_v or_o steal_v away_o thy_o heart_n from_o the_o lord_n do_v not_o thou_o daily_o beg_v of_o he_o rather_o to_o crucify_v all_o thy_o earthly_a desire_n what_o ever_o than_o any_o way_n to_o satisfy_v any_o of_o they_o a_o letter_n to_o mr._n knight_n the_o sixteenth_o of_o the_o eight_o month_n 1653._o in_o answer_n to_o the_o former_a desire_n to_o he_o the_o nine_o of_o the_o same_o month_n to_o bless_v the_o lord_n for_o the_o answer_n dear_a sir_n have_v former_o in_o the_o time_n of_o my_o sadness_n desire_v your_o remembrance_n before_o the_o lord_n who_o have_v appear_v in_o prayer_n both_o public_a and_o private_a as_o also_o many_o other_o way_n thereby_o stay_v my_o poor_a spirit_n to_o wait_v upon_o he_o
press_v very_o much_o upon_o i_o this_o day_n which_o bless_a counsel_n my_o desire_n and_o prayer_n be_v that_o the_o lord_n will_v frame_v and_o mould_v i_o into_o gather_v up_o my_o soul_n more_o into_o jesus_n christ_n and_o out_o of_o all_o other_o thing_n whatsoever_o the_o 24._o of_o this_o 7_o month_n be_v the_o lord_n day_n i_o be_v in_o expectation_n to_o have_v hear_v mr._n knight_n but_o when_o i_o come_v to_o fulham_n there_o be_v a_o stranger_n and_o when_o i_o hear_v he_o to_o pray_v so_o strange_o i_o be_v strike_v with_o a_o exceed_a damp_n wish_v myself_o somewhere_o else_o yet_o desire_v to_o still_o my_o spirit_n and_o to_o wait_v upon_o the_o lord_n who_o be_v able_a to_o hint_n out_o somewhat_o that_o may_v be_v of_o advantage_n to_o i_o he_o speak_v from_o joh_n 5._o 25._o in_o which_o he_o show_v we_o that_o man_n may_v be_v alive_a natural_o and_o yet_o dead_a spiritual_o and_o so_o press_v we_o to_o the_o trial_n of_o our_o estate_n which_o i_o think_v may_v be_v a_o call_n from_o god_n to_o check_v i_o for_o my_o neglect_n in_o this_o work_n and_o to_o put_v i_o upon_o that_o duty_n he_o tell_v we_o that_o god_n be_v the_o life_n of_o the_o soul_n as_o the_o soul_n be_v the_o life_n of_o the_o body_n and_o when_o god_n be_v depart_v from_o the_o soul_n it_o be_v dead_a and_o that_o which_o make_v god_n depart_v be_v sin_n prove_v from_o isa_n 59_o 2._o in_o which_o scripture_n i_o think_v the_o lord_n do_v secret_o hint_n to_o my_o soul_n that_o my_o sin_n be_v the_o cause_n of_o all_o the_o withdrawing_n of_o the_o light_n of_o his_o face_n and_o manifestation_n of_o his_o gracious_a presence_n from_o i_o and_o of_o his_o seem_n not_o to_o hear_v the_o desire_n and_o prayer_n offer_v up_o to_o he_o which_o discovery_n i_o look_v upon_o as_o a_o answer_n of_o my_o desire_n and_o prayer_n that_o day_n and_o as_o a_o appearance_n of_o he_o through_o his_o instruction_n this_o day_n the_o 25._o of_o this_o 7._o month_n the_o lord_n in_o the_o morning_n draw_v out_o my_o heart_n to_o beg_v of_o he_o that_o he_o will_v please_v to_o be_v present_a that_o day_n be_v to_o go_v to_o my_o aunt_n dogget_n to_o guide_v and_o direct_v i_o in_o all_o my_o word_n and_o action_n be_v some_o what_o distract_v and_o disturb_v in_o my_o own_o thought_n and_o mind_n and_o not_o so_o content_o submit_v to_o all_o the_o providence_n of_o god_n as_o i_o ought_v to_o do_v and_o after_o some_o discourse_n and_o hot_a dispute_n at_o dinner_n between_o mr._n aldgate_n and_o myself_o at_o which_o time_n i_o deal_v plain_o with_o he_o according_a to_o my_o poor_a measure_n after_o which_o mrs._n aldgate_n very_o unexpected_o from_o i_o and_o unusual_o from_o she_o be_v very_o earnest_a to_o have_v i_o go_v and_o read_v in_o a_o little_a book_n of_o she_o concern_v content_a marvel_v in_o my_o mind_n at_o this_o strange_a and_o unusual_a thing_n in_o she_o look_v upon_o it_o as_o some_o providence_n happy_o to_o i_o who_o have_v see_v the_o book_n before_o but_o look_v upon_o it_o in_o a_o slight_a cursory_a way_n and_o not_o with_o any_o valuation_n of_o it_o yet_o now_o i_o think_v that_o happy_o the_o lord_n may_v have_v some_o thing_n to_o speak_v to_o i_o out_o of_o it_o and_o so_o i_o take_v the_o book_n and_o go_v to_o read_v therein_o for_o a_o hour_n or_o more_o and_o true_o the_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o lead_v i_o to_o most_o sensible_a and_o seasonable_a thing_n to_o the_o frame_n of_o my_o wretched_a spirit_n by_o which_o it_o convince_v i_o that_o i_o do_v not_o content_o submit_v to_o his_o will_n in_o all_o condition_n for_o if_o i_o do_v then_o there_o will_v be_v a_o silence_n in_o my_o spirit_n yea_o a_o joyful_a frame_n of_o spirit_n yea_o a_o continue_v give_v thanks_o to_o he_o and_o many_o such_o like_a thing_n by_o way_n of_o discovery_n together_o with_o many_o sensible_a direction_n and_o instruction_n which_o i_o desire_v to_o acknowledge_v as_o a_o mercy_n bege_v that_o the_o lord_n will_v make_v these_o hint_n effectual_a to_o my_o soul_n the_o 27._o of_o the_o 7._o month_n expect_v that_o our_o brother_n â—ental_a be_v to_o preach_v that_o day_n i_o have_v some_o discouragement_n whether_o to_o go_v or_o no_o but_o at_o last_o the_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o give_v a_o turn_n to_o my_o spirit_n and_o upon_o one_o account_n or_o a_o other_o i_o at_o last_o resolve_v to_o go_v and_o see_v what_o the_o lord_n will_v do_v for_o i_o there_o desire_v to_o wait_v upon_o he_o and_o withal_o tell_v he_o in_o the_o morning_n that_o he_o have_v gracious_o appear_v to_o my_o soul_n and_o give_v i_o eminent_a token_n of_o his_o appearance_n through_o weak_a instrument_n beseech_v he_o to_o add_v one_o mercy_n more_o this_o day_n and_o give_v my_o soul_n a_o real_a visit_n from_o heaven_n through_o whatever_o instrument_n he_o shall_v please_v to_o use_v but_o oh_o my_o soul_n how_o gracious_o be_v the_o lord_n please_v to_o bow_v down_o and_o condescend_v to_o answer_n those_o poor_a scatter_a desire_n and_o vouchsafe_v my_o soul_n a_o most_o fit_a and_o seasonable_a word_n this_o day_n by_o that_o our_o brother_n who_o speak_v from_o matth._n 6._o take_v no_o thought_n what_o you_o shall_v eat_v or_o drink_v or_o wherewith_o you_o shall_v be_v clothe_v whence_o he_o show_v the_o lord_n jesus_n do_v great_o forbid_v all_o cark_n care_n or_o solicitude_n of_o spirit_n about_o present_a enjoyment_n or_o future_a event_n together_o with_o many_o other_o seasonable_a instruction_n reprehension_n and_o direction_n to_o wait_v upon_o the_o lord_n and_o rest_n on_o he_o and_o cast_v all_o our_o burden_n on_o he_o and_o the_o like_a most_o seasonable_a thing_n to_o my_o wretched_a spirit_n the_o 28._o of_o this_o 7._o month_n be_v thursday_n and_o mr._n knight_n day_n to_o preach_v at_o the_o abbey_n i_o have_v strong_a desire_n to_o hear_v he_o and_o yet_o somewhat_o discourage_v from_o some_o passage_n of_o providence_n fear_v whether_o or_o no_o i_o go_v out_o of_o desire_n only_o to_o hear_v which_o lie_v somewhat_o heavy_a upon_o i_o and_o great_o oppress_v my_o spirit_n cause_v it_o to_o breath_n out_o to_o the_o lord_n after_o this_o manner_n that_o if_o he_o do_v see_v my_o heart_n not_o to_o be_v set_v aright_o to_o seek_v he_o and_o he_o only_o in_o this_o undertake_n that_o he_o will_v please_v some_o way_n or_o other_o to_o hinder_v i_o or_o cause_v some_o special_a providence_n or_o other_o to_o instruct_v i_o and_o keep_v i_o from_o rush_v on_o this_o undertake_n on_o any_o self-end_n or_o design_n whatever_o beseech_v he_o to_o guide_v i_o lead_v and_o instruct_v i_o this_o day_n and_o vouchsafe_v his_o glorious_a presence_n with_o my_o soul_n and_o the_o pour_v out_o of_o his_o spirit_n upon_o his_o servant_n that_o be_v to_o speak_v to_o we_o and_o true_o i_o desire_v to_o acknowledge_v to_o the_o praise_n of_o god_n that_o he_o be_v please_v much_o to_o deaden_v my_o heart_n to_o the_o creature_n before_o i_o go_v out_o and_o to_o put_v it_o into_o a_o frame_n desirous_a to_o wait_v for_o any_o discovery_n from_o he_o when_o he_o please_v expect_v all_o the_o way_n as_o we_o go_v whether_o the_o lord_n will_v please_v to_o suffer_v we_o to_o go_v through_o yea_o or_o nay_o desire_v not_o to_o murmur_v at_o he_o in_o it_o but_o to_o submit_v quiet_o to_o his_o will_n in_o what_o manner_n soever_o he_o shall_v please_v to_o reveal_v it_o but_o be_v not_o by_o any_o providence_n prevent_v in_o the_o way_n we_o go_v where_o the_o lord_n be_v please_v great_o to_o draw_v out_o master_n knight_n heart_n in_o prayer_n in_o such_o suitable_a thing_n as_o if_o the_o lord_n from_o heaven_n shall_v say_v i_o know_v thy_o want_n and_o weakness_n and_o will_v supply_v they_o providence_n cast_v he_o upon_o the_o same_o thought_n speak_v in_o the_o five_o chapter_n of_o john_n and_o the_o five_o and_o twenty_o verse_n the_o lord_n again_o by_o it_o check_v i_o for_o my_o neglect_n of_o examination_n of_o my_o spiritual_a life_n the_o end_n of_o the_o second_o book_n the_o three_o book_n of_o experience_n which_o the_o lord_n have_v give_v my_o soul_n of_o the_o gracious_a answer_n and_o return_n of_o prayer_n etc._n etc._n these_o record_n i_o desire_v to_o leave_v of_o god_n appearance_n to_o my_o soul_n from_o time_n to_o time_n which_o i_o trust_v if_o my_o wicked_a heart_n deceive_v i_o not_o be_v do_v upon_o this_o account_n that_o wherein_o i_o have_v fail_v in_o my_o life-time_n in_o declare_v how_o good_a the_o lord_n have_v be_v to_o such_o a_o wretch_n as_o i_o be_o i_o may_v yet_o leave_v a_o good_a report_n