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spirit_n heart_n soul_n work_n 7,332 5 5.1649 4 false
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ID Title Author Corrected Date of Publication (TCP Date of Publication) STC Words Pages
A46653 Death unstung a sermon preached at the funeral of Thomas Mowsley, an apothecary, who died July, 1669 : with a brief narrative of his life and death : also the manner of Gods dealings with him before and after his conversion : drawn up by his own hand and published / by James Janeway ... Janeway, James, 1636?-1674. 1669 (1669) Wing J459; ESTC R11356 73,896 158

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a_o book_n which_o the_o lord_n at_o that_o time_n open_v my_o heart_n to_o ask_v for_o which_o be_v drex_n d._n eternit_fw-la and_o true_o upon_o the_o perusal_n of_o that_o treatise_n i_o think_v nay_o i_o be_o sure_a the_o burden_n of_o my_o sin_n seem_v to_o be_v renew_v and_o i_o can_v express_v that_o unspeakable_a sorrow_n which_o i_o then_o have_v in_o my_o poor_a soul_n by_o reason_n of_o all_o its_o mighty_a sin_n and_o true_o i_o hope_v the_o mercy_n of_o god_n be_v not_o a_o little_a cause_n of_o my_o trouble_n to_o think_v that_o i_o shall_v have_v none_o to_o offend_v and_o kick_v against_o but_o those_o bowel_n yea_o those_o tender_a bowel_n of_o pity_n and_o compassion_n which_o have_v so_o long_o yearn_v over_o my_o poor_a soul_n and_o have_v so_o long_o shield_v off_o the_o stroke_n of_o justice_n which_o be_v so_o long_o hang_v over_o my_o provoke_a head_n and_o then_o oh_o then_o i_o do_v unspeakable_o desire_v the_o pardon_n of_o my_o sin_n and_o then_o do_v feel_v the_o burden_n of_o they_o so_o unsupportable_a that_o i_o do_v earnest_o beg_v of_o the_o lord_n that_o they_o may_v be_v lay_v upon_o the_o lord_n jesus_n who_o be_v able_a to_o bear_v they_o and_o do_v endeavour_v by_o earnest_a prayer_n to_o obtain_v a_o smile_n from_o god_n in_o and_o through_o jesus_n christ_n for_o out_o of_o christ_n he_o be_v a_o terrible_a god_n and_o a_o consume_a fire_n and_o so_o i_o forthwith_o resolve_v to_o take_v up_o with_o all_o outward_a duty_n as_o prayer_n reading_n hear_v confer_v with_o good_a christian_n and_o i_o can_v but_o let_v you_o know_v that_o the_o first_o sermon_n i_o hear_v in_o this_o condition_n be_v out_o of_o 1_o tim._n 1.15_o where_o it_o be_v say_v that_o christ_n come_v into_o the_o world_n to_o save_v sinner_n of_o who_o i_o not_o paul_n only_o but_o i_o even_o i_o be_o chief_a and_o so_o i_o go_v on_o through_o fear_n and_o tremble_a and_o not_o without_o some_o joy_n and_o hope_n that_o the_o lord_n who_o have_v begin_v a_o 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death_n unstung_a a_o sermon_n preach_v at_o the_o funeral_n of_o thomas_n mowsley_n a_o apothecary_n who_o die_v july_n 1669._o with_o a_o brief_a narrative_n of_o his_o life_n and_o death_n also_o the_o manner_n of_o god_n deal_n with_o he_o before_o and_o after_o his_o conversion_n draw_v up_o by_o his_o own_o hand_n and_o publish_v by_o james_n janeway_n minister_n of_o the_o gospel_n o_o death_n where_o be_v thy_o sting_n come_v and_o hear_v all_o you_o that_o fear_v god_n and_o i_o will_v declare_v what_o he_o have_v do_v for_o my_o soul_n psal_n 66._o v._n 16._o london_n print_v for_o dorman_n newman_n and_o be_v to_o be_v sell_v at_o his_o shop_n near_o the_o lame-hospital_n in_o little-brittain_n at_o the_o chyrugion_n arms._n 1669._o to_o my_o belove_a hearer_n especial_o those_o of_o the_o young_a sort_n grace_n and_o peace_n man_n brethren_n and_o father_n god_n that_o make_v your_o soul_n set_v a_o very_a high_a value_n upon_o they_o and_o christ_n that_o buy_v they_o 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about_o and_o let_v the_o world_n understand_v that_o you_o be_v not_o nominal_a christian_n but_o real_a saint_n will_v any_o of_o you_o send_v i_o sorrow_v into_o the_o grave_n shall_v i_o lose_v my_o hope_n and_o comfort_n and_o you_o your_o soul_n can_v you_o easy_o forget_v what_o be_v the_o practice_n of_o this_o young_a man_n do_v you_o remember_v what_o be_v the_o usual_a subject_n of_o his_o discourse_n do_v you_o not_o observe_v how_o holy_o meek_o and_o diligent_o he_o serve_v his_o great_a master_n be_v there_o no_o weight_n in_o a_o crown_n of_o glory_n be_v there_o no_o desireableness_n in_o happiness_n be_v it_o a_o small_a thing_n to_o live_v in_o the_o society_n of_o god_n saint_n and_o angel_n i_o be_o persuade_v you_o think_v these_o thing_n considerable_a well_o then_o act_n as_o person_n that_o long_o for_o possession_n which_o that_o all_o of_o you_o may_v enjoy_v be_v and_o shall_v be_v the_o prayer_n of_o one_o that_o desire_v not_o to_o count_v his_o life_n dear_a so_o he_o may_v but_o finish_v his_o course_n with_o joy_n and_o meet_v you_o with_o comfort_n hereafter_o james_n janeway_n july_n 28._o 1669._o death_n vnstung_a a_o funeral_n sermon_n rev._n 14.13_o and_o i_o hear_v a_o voice_n from_o heaven_n say_v unto_o i_o write_v bless_a be_v the_o dead_a which_o die_v in_o the_o lord_n from_o henceforth_o yea_o say_v the_o spirit_n that_o they_o may_v rest_v from_o their_o labour_n and_o their_o work_n do_v follow_v they_o it_o be_v none_o of_o the_o least_o work_n of_o a_o minister_n of_o christ_n to_o disparage_v sin_n and_o encourage_v holiness_n to_o set_v life_n and_o death_n before_o our_o people_n and_o to_o present_v as_o much_o as_o in_o we_o lie_v
the_o latter_a end_n of_o my_o book_n of_o acquaintance_n with_o god_n which_o be_v now_o reprint_v at_o present_a my_o advice_n shall_v be_v that_o you_o will_v follow_v they_o who_o through_o faith_n and_o patience_n be_v the_o inheriter_n of_o the_o promise_n and_o propose_v to_o yourselves_o the_o example_n of_o the_o most_o eminent_a christian_n such_o as_o this_o precious_a young_a man_n who_o funeral_n rite_n we_o be_v now_o solemnize_n and_o because_o example_n be_v very_a cogent_n and_o affect_v most_o more_o than_o precept_n i_o shall_v present_v you_o with_o a_o account_n of_o some_o of_o this_o holy_a young_a man_n practice_n and_o experience_n take_v they_o therefore_o as_o i_o have_v gather_v they_o by_o my_o own_o experience_n and_o intimate_v knowledge_n of_o he_o and_o as_o i_o have_v collect_v they_o out_o of_o many_o sheet_n of_o his_o own_o writing_n but_o let_v it_o not_o be_v think_v i_o beseech_v you_o that_o out_o of_o custom_n or_o flattery_n i_o speak_v such_o funeral_n commendation_n be_v he_o but_o a_o common_a christian_a i_o will_v have_v forborn_v speak_v any_o thing_n of_o this_o nature_n for_o sear_v of_o harden_v sinner_n i_o must_v deal_v plain_o i_o abho_o that_o curse_a flattery_n in_o commend_v all_o that_o be_v bury_v as_o if_o to_o die_v and_o to_o go_v to_o heaven_n be_v all_o one_o i_o know_v many_o rot_a post_n be_v guild_v many_o sepulcher_n that_o be_v full_a of_o bone_n and_o putrify_a flesh_n be_v paint_v and_o many_o professor_n be_v extol_v at_o their_o death_n who_o do_v no_o good_a wh●le_n they_o live_v except_o it_o be_v the_o give_v some_o pit●ful_a pittance_n to_o the_o poor_a when_o they_o can_v keep_v it_o no_o long_o i_o question_v not_o but_o that_o thousand_o be_v praise_v upon_o earth_n that_o be_v condemn_v in_o heaven_n and_o many_o applaud_v for_o saint_n that_o will_v be_v find_v among_o the_o devil_n and_o damn_a expect_v it_o not_o therefore_o as_o a_o thing_n like_a to_o be_v usual_a with_o i_o to_o 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in_o upon_o his_o soul_n like_o a_o arm_a man_n and_o shake_v he_o terrible_o ●ve●_n hell_n and_o the_o ●●rr●urs_n of_o god_n set_v themselves_o ●n_v array_v against_o he_o and_o the_o poison_n of_o his_o arrow_n drink_v up_o his_o spirit_n sin_n do_v appear_v in_o its_o colour_n to_o he_o ●s_v ugly_a as_o the_o devil_n and_o as_o dreadful_a as_o hell_n itself_o so_o that_o the_o foundation_n be_v lay_v in_o very_o deep_a humility_n o_o then_o how_o frightful_a a_o thing_n be_v sin_n yea_o his_o belove_a sin_n the_o sin_n of_o game_n be_v make_v most_o loathsome_a and_o abominable_a so_o that_o for_o that_o he_o loathe_v himself_o in_o dust_n ash_n and_o look_v upon_o himself_o as_o unworthy_a to_o tread_v upon_o god_n ground_n and_o have_v not_o god_n order_v it_o so_o as_o that_o the_o first_o sermon_n he_o hear_v after_o this_o great_a conviction_n be_v upon_o that_o scripture_n 1_o tim._n 1.15_o he_o have_v even_o fall_v into_o despair_n but_o the_o thought_n of_o god_n have_v mercy_n upon_o the_o chief_a of_o sinner_n do_v a_o little_a support_v his_o soul_n and_o give_v he_o hope_n of_o a_o possibility_n of_o be_v save_v 2._o this_o put_v he_o upon_o strong_a groan_n and_o prayer_n that_o the_o lord_n will_v pity_v he_o as_o ever_o he_o will_v pity_v any_o poor_a creature_n in_o the_o world_n o_o that_o he_o will_v pity_v he_o have_v thou_o not_o a_o blessing_n for_o i_o o_o god_n even_o for_o i_o what_o shall_v i_o do_v now_o i_o be_o without_o god_n christ_n or_o grace_n my_o condition_n be_v such_o i_o can_v bear_v it_o who_o can_v be_v content_v to_o be_v damn_v o_o pity_v i_o pity_v i_o dear_a lord_n i_o can_v tell_v what_o in_o the_o world_n to_o do_v mercy_n mercy_n mercy_n or_o i_o be_o lose_v mercy_n speedy_o or_o i_o be_o lose_v for_o ever_o and_o so_o he_o continue_v in_o a_o way_n of_o duty_n read_v and_o pray_v and_o inquire_v and_o resolve_v thus_o to_o do_v all_o his_o day_n and_o now_o farewell_n wicked_a company_n farewell_n sport_n and_o vanity_n and_o idleness_n the_o great_a business_n of_o mind_v his_o soul_n now_o swallow_v he_o up_o and_o after_o a_o while_o he_o have_v a_o little_a more_o peace_n than_o he_o have_v but_o upon_o further_a enquiry_n and_o wait_v upon_o the_o mean_n he_o be_v convince_v tha●_n all_o this_o will_v not_o do_v without_o the_o righteousness_n o●_n christ_n and_o this_o bring_v i_o to_o the_o next_o thing_n 3._o he_o be_v deep_o convince_v of_o the_o absolute_a necessity_n and_o excellency_n of_o christ_n and_o bring_v o●_n from_o his_o own_o righteousness_n to_o high_a prizing●_n and_o admiring_n of_o christ_n take_v his_o own_o word_n and_o be_v it_o true_a indeed_o have_v christ_n do_v and_o suffer_v such_o thing_n for_o thou_o o_o my_o poor_a sinful_a vile_a odious_a pollute_a soul_n and_o what_o will_v not_o thou_o love_v he_o now_o oh_o think_v a_o little_a what_o put_v he_o upon_o a●_n this_o be_v it_o any_o self_n interest_n be_v he_o any_o gainer_n by_o thou_o he_o get_v nothing_o but_o grief_n pain_n and_o death_n o_o my_o soul_n it_o be_v free_a pure_a and_o undeniable_a love_n that_o cause_v he_o to_o do_v and_o suffer_v what_o he_o do_v consider_v again_o o_o my_o soul_n what_o cause_n be_v there_o that_o he_o shall_v make_v thou_o a_o partaker_n of_o the_o benefit_n of_o his_o blood_n what_o be_v thou_o oh_o a_o mot●_n loathsome_a sinner_n and_o what_o will_v thou_o not_o yet_o love_v he_o o_o lord_n i_o be_o ashamed_a of_o my_o own_o heart_n that_o i_o can_v raise_v it_o to_o the_o high_a pitch_n o●_n admiration_n of_o that_o infinite_a boundless_a love_n o●_n love_n love_n love_n o_o that_o i_o can_v love_v thou_o o_o lord_n i_o will_v fain_o be_v sick_a of_o love_n o_o that_o i_o can_v dy●_n sick_a of_o love_n to_o thou_o o_o that_o i_o can_v feel_v thou_o warm_v my_o heart_n with_o that_o quicken_a blood_n which_o thou_o sh_v upon_o the_o cross_n o_o what_o love_n be_v like_a to_o that_o o_o my_o soul_n it_o be_v shed_v for_o thou_o who_o be_v a_o enemy_n a_o rebel_n a_o despiser_n of_o christ_n awake_a o_o bless_v spirit_n and_o blow_v upon_o my_o soul_n and_o kindle_v a_o fire_n which_o may_v burn_v with_o love_n to_o christ_n to_o all_o eternity_n amen_o amen_n 4._o he_o do_v upon_o this_o in_o a_o serious_a and_o solemn_a manner_n give_v up_o himself_o to_o the_o lord_n in_o a_o covenant_n i_o shall_v not_o repeat_v the_o word_n of_o this_o covenant_n because_o they_o be_v take_v verbatim_o out_o of_o my_o book_n of_o acquaintance_n with_o god_n and_o he_o subscribe_v his_o name_n to_o it_o and_o keep_v it_o as_o a_o witness_n before_o the_o lord_n and_o to_o quicken_v his_o own_o soul_n to_o a_o ●ore_o close_o walk_v with_o god_n according_a to_o the_o article_n of_o that_o covenant_n 5._o after_o he_o be_v go_v thus_o far_o his_o bowel_n begin_v ●o_o yern_v over_o his_o christless_a friend_n some_o of_o which_o i_o perceive_v by_o his_o letter_n begin_v to_o abuse_v he_o for_o his_o seriousness_n and_o to_o deride_v his_o strictness_n and_o jeer_v at_o his_o holiness_n shall_v i_o give_v you_o a_o taste_n of_o his_o spirit_n i_o can_v do_v it_o in_o warm_a word_n than_o his_o own_o which_o be_v as_o follow_v you_o i_o receive_v but_o whether_o i_o dare_v to_o thank_v you_o for_o it_o i_o know_v not_o for_o true_o i_o can_v express_v the_o trouble_n that_o have_v since_o seize_v upon_o my_o spirit_n oh_o poor_a soul_n what_o shall_v i_o say_v unto_o thou_o oh_o my_o bowel_n my_o bowel_n they_o yern_v towards_o thou_o i_o be_o pain_v yea_o i_o be_o pain_v while_o i_o think_v upon_o thy_o condition_n what_o shall_v i_o
heaven_n and_o hell_n to_o their_o view_n and_o to_o persuade_v they_o to_o a_o wise_a and_o speedy_a choice_n that_o when_o these_o house_n of_o clay_n shall_v be_v lay_v in_o the_o dust_n they_o may_v be_v secure_v of_o a_o habitation_n not_o make_v with_o hand_n that_o be_v eternal_a with_o god_n in_o the_o heaven_n the_o apostle_n in_o this_o chapter_n do_v both_o in_o the_o 10._o verse_n he_o tell_v we_o what_o a_o draught_n be_v prepare_v for_o the_o implacable_a enemy_n of_o christ_n they_o shall_v drink_v off_o the_o wine_n of_o the_o wrath_n of_o god_n which_o be_v pour_v out_o without_o mixture_n into_o the_o cup_n of_o his_o indignation_n and_o they_o shall_v be_v torment_v with_o fire_n and_o brimstone_n in_o the_o presence_n of_o the_o holy_a angel_n and_o in_o the_o presence_n of_o the_o lamb._n the_o wicked_a may_v drink_v roar_v and_o swagger_v they_o may_v persecute_v the_o member_n of_o christ_n because_o they_o dare_v not_o so_o mad_o venture_v upon_o the_o eternal_a displeasure_n of_o god_n as_o they_o do_v and_o sell_v their_o precious_a soul_n for_o a_o moment_n joy_n and_o make_v light_a of_o damnation_n but_o let_v they_o know_v that_o for_o all_o these_o thing_n god_n will_v bring_v they_o to_o judgement_n a_o eternity_n of_o intolerable_a sorrow_n must_v pay_v for_o their_o short_a pleasure_n and_o hence_o it_o be_v the_o serious_a christian_a that_o make_v it_o his_o business_n to_o avoid_v this_o dreadful_a misery_n be_v satisfy_v that_o he_o do_v not_o act_v irrational_o and_o mad_o if_o the_o scorn_n and_o contempt_n of_o the_o wicked_a world_n do_v not_o frighten_v he_o upon_o this_o account_n he_o patient_o submit_v to_o any_o punishment_n rather_o than_o he_o will_v hazard_v the_o loss_n of_o his_o soul_n and_o be_v miserable_a for_o ever_o that_o word_n for_o ever_o stick_v much_o in_o his_o mind_n let_v the_o wicked_a laugh_n and_o be_v merry_a let_v they_o please_v themselves_o in_o his_o sorrow_n he_o know_v it_o be_v but_o a_o little_a while_n and_o all_o will_v be_v mend_v and_o their_o mind_n change_v he_o be_v willing_a to_o stay_v for_o his_o happiness_n and_o joy_n till_o he_o come_v to_o another_o world_n and_o he_o do_v not_o envy_v the_o wicked_a what_o they_o do_v enjoy_v let_v they_o make_v the_o best_a of_o it_o as_o long_o as_o they_o can_v and_o boast_v of_o their_o pleasure_n when_o they_o see_v themselves_o wrap_v up_o in_o flame_n the_o unseen_a world_n which_o most_o forget_v be_v always_o in_o the_o saint_n eye_n and_o if_o he_o may_v but_o live_v happy_o there_o he_o pass_v not_o if_o he_o run_v through_o reproach_n injury_n and_o a_o thousand_o death_n to_o that_o glorious_a and_o endless_a life_n here_o be_v the_o reason_n of_o the_o saint_n patience_n this_o make_v he_o judge_v it_o no_o folly_n to_o keep_v the_o commandment_n of_o god_n and_o the_o faith_n of_o jesus_n in_o the_o 13._o verse_n the_o apostle_n come_v to_o speak_v a_o word_n of_o encouragement_n not_o only_o to_o the_o suffer_a saint_n of_o that_o age_n but_o for_o the_o support_n of_o all_o that_o shall_v be_v honour_v with_o such_o service_n as_o to_o seal_v the_o truth_n of_o christ_n with_o their_o blood_n and_o i_o hear_v a_o voice_n from_o heaven_n say_v unto_o i_o write_v bless_v be_v the_o dead_a which_o die_v in_o the_o lord_n from_o henceforth_o yea_o say_v the_o spirit_n that_o they_o may_v rest_v from_o their_o labour_n and_o their_o work_n follow_v they_o in_o the_o word_n you_o may_v take_v notice_n of_o two_o part_n 1._o a_o proposition_n 2._o the_o confirmation_n of_o that_o proposition_n 1._o the_o proposition_n in_o which_o we_o may_v observe_v 1._o the_o predicate_v bless_v 2._o the_o subject_a the_o dead_a 3._o the_o restriction_n and_o limitation_n of_o the_o subject_a which_o die_v in_o the_o lord_n 2._o the_o confirmation_n of_o this_o proposition_n 1._o they_o rest_v from_o their_o labour_n 2._o their_o work_n follow_v they_o 3._o the_o person_n affirm_v this_o the_o spirit_n which_o be_v further_o clear_v 1._o by_o the_o manner_n of_o this_o declaration_n it_o be_v by_o a_o voice_n from_o heaven_n 2._o by_o the_o specification_n of_o the_o person_n to_o who_o it_o be_v speak_v say_v unto_o i_o 3._o by_o the_o particular_a note_n of_o observation_n write_v the_o doctrine_n which_o i_o shall_v take_v notice_n of_o from_o these_o word_n be_v this_o doct._n that_o whatever_o misery_n a_o saint_n may_v meet_v with_o in_o this_o life_n at_o death_n he_o shall_v be_v happy_a or_o in_o the_o word_n of_o the_o text_n that_o they_o be_v bless_v which_o die_v in_o the_o lord_n in_o the_o prosecution_n of_o this_o observation_n i_o shall_v 1._o inquire_v what_o it_o be_v to_o die_v in_o the_o lord_n 2._o i_o shall_v prove_v that_o such_o be_v bless_v 3._o i_o shall_v show_v wherein_o their_o happiness_n do_v consist_v 4._o i_o shall_v make_v some_o application_n 1._o i_o shall_v inquire_v what_o it_o be_v to_o die_v in_o the_o lord_n 1._o neg._n they_o which_o make_v it_o their_o business_n to_o do_v what_o they_o can_v against_o god_n while_o they_o live_v be_v not_o like_a to_o be_v bless_v when_o they_o die_v they_o which_o live_v like_o devil_n be_v not_o like_a to_o die_v like_o saint_n be_v there_o not_o a_o generation_n in_o the_o world_n who_o act_n for_o the_o devil_n with_o all_o their_o might_n and_o count_v all_o that_o time_n lose_v which_o be_v not_o spend_v in_o his_o service_n which_o make_v a_o jest_n of_o damn_v and_o be_v as_o merry_a within_o a_o step_n of_o these_o devour_a flame_n as_o if_o hell_n and_o a_o tavern_n be_v alike_o do_v they_o not_o carry_v themselves_o as_o if_o they_o can_v not_o make_v haste_n enough_o to_o misery_n and_o make_v sure_a enough_o of_o damnation_n how_o do_v they_o wound_v and_o stab_v their_o own_o soul_n and_o let_v fly_v against_o the_o almighty_a how_o contemptible_a a_o thing_n be_v heaven_n and_o how_o ridiculous_a be_v the_o very_a name_n of_o holiness_n to_o they_o they_o be_v of_o the_o same_o mind_n of_o those_o which_o job_n speak_v of_o job_n 21.14_o they_o say_v unto_o god_n depart_v from_o we_o for_o we_o desire_v not_o the_o knowledge_n of_o thy_o way_n and_o who_o be_v the_o lord_n that_o i_o shall_v hearken_v to_o he_o and_o if_o a_o compassionate_a minister_n of_o christ_n beseech_v they_o with_o all_o the_o tenderness_n that_o he_o can_v for_o his_o soul_n to_o bethink_v themselves_o a_o little_a what_o these_o thing_n may_v end_v in_o at_o last_o and_o to_o consider_v what_o a_o dreadful_a thing_n it_o be_v to_o fall_v into_o the_o hand_n of_o a_o live_a god_n how_o be_v his_o persuasion_n reject_v with_o contempt_n and_o his_o pity_n recompense_v with_o scorn_n and_o may_v i_o not_o say_v of_o most_o wicked_a man_n they_o do_v fly_v in_o the_o face_n of_o they_o that_o will_v tell_v they_o of_o their_o danger_n and_o do_v what_o they_o can_v to_o deliver_v they_o from_o it_o and_o yet_o for_o all_o this_o how_o well_o be_v they_o content_v with_o their_o own_o condition_n and_o laugh_v at_o the_o godly_a as_o if_o it_o be_v a_o dangerous_a and_o mad_a thing_n to_o strive_v to_o go_v to_o heaven_n and_o the_o true_a happiness_n to_o be_v miserable_a for_o ever_o o_o who_o will_v imagine_v that_o any_o live_n shall_v be_v thus_o lamentable_o besot_v tell_v they_o of_o hell_n it_o be_v as_o much_o as_o their_o life_n be_v worth_a they_o have_v rather_o hazard_v the_o feel_n of_o it_o hereafter_o than_o bear_v the_o hear_n of_o it_o here_o they_o fear_v a_o little_a disgrace_n among_o man_n more_o than_o the_o contempt_n of_o god_n they_o choose_v rather_o to_o be_v under_o the_o weight_n of_o god_n wrath_n than_o the_o least_o affront_n from_o a_o man._n talk_v to_o they_o of_o glory_n heaven_n and_o a_o kingdom_n they_o be_v light_n and_o trivial_a thing_n with_o they_o they_o have_v rather_o hear_v of_o a_o whore_n a_o tavern_n or_o play_n and_o yet_o these_o monster_n must_v be_v saint_v and_o do_v more_o confident_o expect_v a_o bless_a eternity_n after_o a_o life_n of_o wickedness_n than_o some_o of_o the_o dear_a child_n of_o god_n do_v but_o if_o such_o as_o these_o ever_o come_v to_o heaven_n without_o repentance_n than_o the_o word_n of_o god_n be_v false_a do_v not_o that_o say_v that_o the_o wicked_a shall_v be_v turn_v into_o hell_n tribulation_n and_o anguish_n upon_o every_o one_o that_o do_v evil_a and_o there_o be_v no_o peace_n say_v my_o god_n to_o the_o wicked_a the_o devil_n himself_o may_v as_o well_o expect_v to_o shake_v off_o his_o chain_n and_o be_v restore_v to_o his_o lose_a glory_n as_o they_o o_o be_v not_o deceive_v as_o you_o sow_v so_o you_o must_v reap_v do_v not_o hope_v that_o
enter_v into_o the_o world_n but_o i_o have_v no_o soon_o embrace_v the_o motion_n but_o that_o very_a day_n i_o feel_v a_o change_n in_o my_o poor_a soul_n viz._n a_o too_o too_o much_o let_v out_o my_o thought_n upon_o it_o which_o i_o most_o perceive_v in_o duty_n and_o the_o devil_n who_o long_o wait_v his_o opportunity_n do_v then_o i_o be_o afraid_a not_o only_o parley_v but_o get_v entrance_n through_o the_o treachery_n and_o deceitfulness_n of_o my_o wretched_a heart_n and_o he_o tell_v i_o that_o i_o may_v lawful_o settle_v my_o mind_n upon_o this_o it_o be_v a_o business_n of_o great_a concernment_n and_o that_o it_o will_v be_v but_o a_o little_a while_n and_o then_o i_o shall_v return_v to_o my_o former_a temper_n in_o spiritual_a matter_n upon_o those_o delusion_n my_o silly_a heart_n give_v way_n and_o i_o find_v too_o much_o willingness_n of_o soul_n to_o place_v its_o concern_v in_o that_o matter_n and_o so_o i_o lay_v down_o my_o watch_n soon_o lose_v my_o former_a experience_n and_o every_o day_n i_o find_v my_o comfort_n on_o the_o ebb_a hand_n i_o secret_o depart_v from_o god_n and_o darken_v the_o light_n of_o his_o countenance_n that_o do_v shine_v sometime_o upon_o my_o soul_n and_o have_v not_o infinite_a grace_n put_v a_o seasonable_a word_n into_o your_o mouth_n to_o prevent_v i_o how_o have_v i_o fall_v and_o whither_o have_v i_o go_v i_o can_v not_o have_v think_v it_o possible_a that_o ever_o my_o heart_n shall_v decline_v so_o strange_o as_o it_o do_v i_o that_o former_o can_v serve_v my_o master_n faithful_o cheerful_o and_o comfortable_o do_v it_o grutch_o and_o not_o out_o of_o love_n though_o i_o never_o fall_v so_o far_o through_o grace_n as_o to_o neglect_v any_o thing_n of_o his_o business_n yet_o 〈◊〉_d lose_v the_o right_a principle_n of_o action_n and_o the_o art_n of_o spiritualize_v of_o civil_a affair_n and_o this_o last_v for_o about_o three_o month_n it_o be_v scarce_o to_o be_v think_v what_o perplexity_n i_o bring_v myself_o into_o by_o my_o backslide_n from_o god_n i_o have_v not_o time_n to_o declare_v thing_n and_o have_v i_o it_o will_v be_v very_o unwelcome_a to_o you_o true_a i_o hope_v i_o do_v enjoy_v some_o communion_n with_o god_n when_o i_o be_v engage_v in_o duty_n especial_o in_o that_o to_o be_v admire_v ordinance_n of_o the_o sacrament_n and_o prayer_n but_o yet_o my_o comfort_n and_o duty_n usual_o end_v together_o i_o hope_v the_o experience_n that_o i_o have_v have_v of_o the_o treachery_n of_o my_o own_o heart_n will_v make_v i_o carry_v a_o fence_n of_o my_o weakness_n and_o folly_n so_o as_o 〈◊〉_d throw_v myself_o whole_o upon_o the_o wisdom_n of_o god_n i_o have_v thus_o open_v my_o soul_n to_o you_o o_o that_o the_o lord_n who_o first_o for_o his_o own_o name_n sake_n show_v mercy_n to_o i_o when_o i_o deserve_v none_o will_v now_o look_v upon_o i_o in_o my_o low_a estate_n and_o consult_v the_o same_o bowel_n of_o pity_n and_o compassion_n which_o be_v infinite_a past_o the_o sin_n of_o finite_a creature_n o_o that_o he_o will_v heal_v my_o backslide_n and_o love_v i_o free_o god_n be_v the_o same_o and_o change_v not_o and_o my_o hope_n be_v that_o he_o will_v again_o return_v and_o visit_v my_o soul_n in_o mercy_n after_o this_o the_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o come_v in_o again_o and_o he_o find_v his_o former_a comfort_n in_o some_o measure_n return_v after_o a_o great_a deal_n of_o pain_n with_o his_o own_o heart_n and_o wrestle_v with_o god_n hear_v what_o language_n he_o begin_v to_o speak_v again_o bless_a be_v god_n for_o what_o i_o do_v enjoy_v it_o be_v ten_o thousand_o time_n more_o than_o i_o deserve_v i_o hope_v the_o dew_n of_o the_o sanctuary_n do_v oft_o refresh_v i_o and_o the_o blood_n of_o jesus_n be_v my_o cordial_n when_o i_o sit_v at_o his_o table_n he_o visit_v i_o and_o his_o banner_n over_o i_o be_v love_n i_o may_v speak_v it_o to_o the_o glory_n of_o rich_a grace_n that_o my_o heart_n be_v in_o a_o better_a frame_n than_o it_o be_v and_o i_o be_o more_o free_a from_o distraction_n in_o duty_n but_o yet_o i_o be_o far_o from_o that_o frame_n that_o i_o be_v once_o in_o my_o distemper_n it_o lie_v in_o want_n of_o those_o strong_a affection_n to_o god_n and_o that_o which_o have_v make_v i_o so_o silent_a to_o you_o be_v the_o fear_n of_o hypocrisy_n lest_o my_o tongue_n shall_v at_o any_o time_n outreach_v my_o heart_n i_o may_v be_v far_o large_a and_o yet_o speak_v none_o but_o his_o word_n this_o i_o think_v may_v prove_v that_o he_o be_v a_o very_a curious_a observer_n of_o his_o own_o soul_n and_o take_v notice_n of_o the_o least_o departure_n of_o his_o heart_n from_o god_n or_o god_n absent_v of_o himself_o from_o he_o i_o may_v tell_v you_o what_o pain_n he_o take_v to_o prepare_v for_o the_o sacrament_n and_o what_o exactness_n he_o use_v afterward_o in_o take_v notice_n how_o his_o soul_n be_v affect_v &_o when_o it_o be_v not_o raise_v what_o care_n do_v he_o use_v till_o he_o find_v a_o fresh_a w●r●nth_n heat_n and_o life_n animate_v of_o he_o i_o may_v tell_v you_o how_o frequent_a he_o be_v in_o that_o rare_a duty_n of_o meditation_n i_o speak_v not_o this_o without_o book_n many_o sheet_n of_o his_o meditation_n which_o i_o have_v by_o i_o show_v that_o he_o be_v no_o stranger_n to_o those_o spiritual_a duty_n which_o few_o understand_v and_o few_o practice_n 9_o he_o be_v great_o desirous_a to_o be_v reprove_v and_o watch_v over_o that_o of_o the_o psalmist_n be_v oft_o in_o his_o mouth_n and_o write_v in_o his_o letter_n let_v the_o righteous_a smite_v i_o and_o it_o shall_v be_v a_o kindness_n and_o let_v he_o reprove_v i_o and_o it_o shall_v be_v excellent_a oil_n which_o shall_v not_o break_v my_o head_n 10._o he_o be_v much_o exercise_v in_o act_n of_o mortification_n and_o self_n denial_n he_o labour_v to_o keep_v under_o his_o body_n to_o have_v the_o command_n of_o his_o passion_n and_o affection_n very_o temperate_a drink_v water_n etc._n etc._n 11._o he_o be_v frequent_o praise_v of_o god_n and_o speak_v well_o of_o his_o way_n indeed_o his_o deportment_n be_v such_o that_o he_o credit_v religion_n and_o commend_v the_o service_n of_o his_o great_a master_n and_o make_v people_n to_o believe_v that_o religion_n be_v a_o excellent_a thing_n and_o he_o justify_v wisdom_n and_o be_v able_a to_o say_v her_o way_n be_v pleasantness_n and_o her_o path_n peace_n 12._o he_o be_v a_o very_a good_a husband_n of_o time_n one_o will_v wonder_v how_o one_o can_v roll_v over_o such_o a_o deal_n of_o business_n as_o he_o do_v not_o in_o the_o least_o neglect_v his_o master_n affair_n and_o yet_o that_o he_o shall_v write_v such_o packet_n of_o letter_n and_o pen_n so_o many_o meditation_n and_o be_v so_o very_o helpful_a to_o his_o brethren_n the_o young_a man_n how_o many_o book_n do_v he_o read_v over_o and_o read_v they_o to_o the_o purpose_n so_o as_o to_o make_v they_o his_o own_o some_o of_o they_o five_o or_o six_o time_n over_o and_o if_o he_o have_v no_o company_n to_o discourse_v with_o when_o he_o go_v abroad_o he_o look_v oft_o into_o his_o pocket_n book_n which_o be_v call_v make_v religion_n one_o business_n 13._o he_o have_v a_o strong_a affection_n for_o the_o faithful_a minister_n of_o christ_n and_o be_v concern_v when_o the_o cloud_n begin_v to_o threaten_v they_o that_o he_o engage_v all_o the_o prayer_n he_o can_v for_o they_o that_o the_o lord_n will_v blow_v over_o this_o storm_n and_o i_o be_o ready_a to_o think_v that_o this_o may_v hasten_v his_o end_n 14._o he_o be_v great_o afraid_a of_o spiritual_a pride_n to_o this_o end_n he_o desire_v i_o to_o keep_v a_o watch_n over_o he_o and_o beseech_v i_o to_o discover_v it_o to_o he_o when_o i_o do_v at_o any_o time_n discern_v the_o act_n of_o it_o but_o though_o he_o have_v great_a part_n and_o gift_n above_o his_o age_n yet_o the_o fence_n of_o former_a sin_n and_o his_o curious_a observance_n of_o his_o heart_n and_o the_o fence_n of_o free_a grace_n keep_v he_o very_o low_o 15._o he_o seem_v to_o be_v possess_v with_o the_o thought_n of_o death_n and_o eternity_n he_o have_v a_o strong_a impression_n upon_o his_o spirit_n of_o the_o nearness_n of_o his_o end_n for_o about_o half_a a_o year_n before_o he_o die_v and_o 16._o he_o be_v much_o above_o the_o fear_n of_o death_n and_o from_o a_o deep_a fence_n of_o the_o reality_n of_o invisibles_n and_o his_o propriety_n in_o they_o he_o think_v long_o for_o possession_n and_o he_o can_v say_v i_o desire_v to_o be_v dissolve_v and_o to_o be_v with_o jesus_n on_o the_o lord_n day_n before_o he_o die_v he_o
my_o heart_n at_o that_o time_n be_v so_o desperate_o wicked_a that_o doubtless_o have_v not_o a_o almighty_a power_n pity_v i_o i_o shall_v even_o have_v pawn_v my_o soul_n for_o the_o obtain_n of_o what_o i_o then_o desire_v then_o in_o a_o passion_n i_o make_v a_o presumptuous_a vow_n that_o i_o will_v leave_v off_o that_o sport_n for_o one_o year_n this_o be_v about_o november_n or_o december_n which_o for_o a_o little_a time_n i_o keep_v and_o now_o observe_v the_o great_a subtlety_n of_o the_o devil_n in_o this_o particular_a for_o no_o soon_o be_v it_o the_o first_o day_n of_o january_n but_o present_o i_o be_v tell_v that_o my_o vow_n be_v out_o of_o date_n and_o that_o it_o signify_v nothing_o and_o they_o be_v my_o carnal_a friend_n that_o tell_v i_o i_o be_v willing_a to_o make_v my_o conscience_n submit_v so_o that_o i_o soon_o embrace_v my_o old_a sport_n again_o and_o do_v plain_o lay_v myself_o open_a to_o the_o wrath_n of_o god_n for_o such_o a_o great_a sin_n yet_o i_o can_v not_o so_o much_o charm_v my_o conscience_n but_o it_o will_v often_o accuse_v i_o for_o it_o but_o it_o be_v not_o many_o week_n after_o but_o i_o engage_v as_o deep_o in_o the_o same_o sin_n of_o game_n as_o before_o and_o now_o hear_v and_o admire_v for_o even_o now_o will_v appear_v such_o love_n as_o never_o any_o be_v ever_o sensible_a of_o but_o such_o as_o have_v feel_v it_o have_v be_v at_o the_o lose_a hand_n the_o season_n of_o the_o night_n call_v i_o away_o i_o leave_v off_o but_o much_o trouble_v and_o about_o five_o in_o the_o morning_n i_o awaken_v and_o then_o there_o be_v a_o pleasant_a lightness_n upon_o my_o spirit_n as_o if_o it_o have_v be_v refresh_v after_o great_a trouble_n what_o this_o mean_v i_o can_v not_o tell_v yet_o can_v not_o but_o take_v special_a notice_n of_o it_o that_o i_o who_o go_v to_o bed_n much_o dissatisfy_v and_o perplex_v shall_v when_o i_o awake_v seem_v to_o be_v so_o much_o comfort_v and_o my_o sleep_n for_o a_o little_a time_n depart_v from_o i_o and_o certain_o i_o have_v some_o deep_a thought_n which_o now_o i_o can_v remember_v but_o the_o result_n of_o they_o come_v to_o this_o i_o do_v then_o engage_v myself_o by_o a_o fresh_a vow_n that_o the_o next_o morning_n i_o will_v play_v so_o as_o to_o venture_v about_o two_o shilling_n and_o if_o i_o lose_v that_o than_o not_o to_o play_v any_o more_o for_o such_o a_o certain_a time_n and_o to_o my_o best_a remembrance_n for_o as_o i_o will_v not_o add_v so_o i_o will_v not_o diminish_v and_o so_o rob_v god_n of_o his_o glory_n and_o my_o poor_a soul_n of_o comfort_n i_o do_v at_o that_o time_n lift_v up_o my_o heart_n to_o god_n but_o with_o what_o affection_n i_o can_v tell_v i_o hope_v not_o without_o great_a shame_n to_o crave_v his_o aid_n that_o i_o may_v be_v enable_v to_o keep_v my_o great_a vow_n and_o so_o when_o the_o time_n come_v that_o i_o be_v to_o venture_v my_o money_n which_o i_o think_v very_o long_o with_o great_a cheerfulness_n i_o go_v to_o play_v be_v very_o willing_a and_o i_o think_v desirous_a to_o lose_v which_o be_v soon_o accomplish_v according_a to_o my_o hope_n which_o when_o it_o be_v end_v i_o can_v say_v what_o i_o think_v or_o how_o my_o heart_n work_v but_o as_o i_o think_v that_o very_a day_n my_o heart_n be_v somewhat_o trouble_v by_o what_o follow_v for_o i_o have_v lose_v a_o great_a part_n of_o that_o in_o which_o my_o heart_n so_o much_o delight_v and_o idolise_v as_o its_o god_n and_o rest_v in_o as_o its_o ultimate_a end_n i_o can_v not_o find_v rest_n in_o it_o as_o former_o and_o so_o be_v much_o trouble_v i_o go_v to_o peruse_v some_o toy_n that_o i_o have_v by_o i_o and_o among_o they_o there_o be_v one_o jewel_n which_o the_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o put_v into_o my_o hand_n which_o be_v a_o book_n entitle_v the_o crumb_n of_o comfort_n the_o which_o when_o i_o feel_v my_o heart_n somewhat_o incline_v to_o peruse_v i_o be_v much_o perplex_v within_o myself_o and_o can_v not_o but_o wonder_v what_o manner_n of_o salutation_n this_o shall_v be_v and_o now_o i_o hope_v i_o have_v great_a cause_n to_o acknowledge_v that_o the_o hand_n of_o god_n be_v in_o all_o this_o but_o i_o will_v not_o on_o this_o account_n any_o way_n turn_v aside_o but_o go_v on_o as_o my_o own_o heart_n and_o conscience_n now_o witness_v to_o i_o and_o i_o hope_v the_o spirit_n of_o god_n likewise_o and_o so_o very_o desirous_a i_o be_v to_o know_v the_o meaning_n of_o this_o dark_a providence_n as_o than_o it_o appear_v to_o i_o to_o be_v that_o more_o or_o less_o for_o two_o day_n together_o i_o often_o peruse_v more_o of_o the_o book_n but_o my_o heart_n be_v little_o affect_v to_o any_o particular_a thing_n and_o yet_o i_o be_v trouble_v more_o and_o more_o within_o i_o and_o can_v find_v no_o rest_n for_o my_o poor_a soul_n and_o in_o less_o than_o a_o week_n time_n i_o think_v about_o the_o end_n of_o two_o or_o three_o day_n the_o more_o i_o read_v i_o begin_v to_o have_v more_o deep_a thought_n and_o heart_n amaze_a consideration_n which_o begin_v to_o make_v i_o exceed_o trouble_v and_o much_o cast_v down_o about_o the_o state_n and_o condition_n of_o my_o poor_a captive_a soul_n which_o as_o i_o tell_v you_o before_o be_v almost_o sink_v into_o the_o bottom_n of_o the_o bottomless_a sea_n of_o god_n wrath_n from_o which_o there_o be_v no_o redemption_n with_o the_o weight_n of_o its_o insupportable_a sin_n and_o now_o what_o the_o chief_a act_n of_o my_o soul_n be_v i_o can_v tell_v but_o sure_o i_o be_o that_o my_o trouble_n do_v increase_v yet_o more_o and_o more_o and_o i_o hope_v it_o be_v for_o my_o sin_n for_o i_o do_v well_o remember_v that_o within_o very_a few_o day_n or_o rather_o hour_n after_o the_o sense_n of_o my_o sin_n come_v into_o my_o mind_n and_o the_o sight_n of_o they_o be_v so_o clear_a and_o the_o number_n of_o they_o so_o numberless_a and_o their_o aggravation_n so_o weighty_a and_o the_o nature_n of_o they_o so_o detestable_a that_o what_o i_o then_o feel_v i_o can_v now_o possible_o declare_v oh_o where_o be_v i_o certain_o have_v i_o be_v surprise_v with_o the_o great_a enemy_n in_o the_o world_n and_o my_o life_n in_o the_o great_a danger_n i_o can_v not_o have_v be_v more_o trouble_v and_o have_v i_o be_v afflict_v with_o all_o the_o torture_n that_o man_n can_v have_v devise_v i_o shall_v not_o have_v be_v more_o torment_v nay_o i_o think_v if_o my_o deceitful_a heart_n do_v not_o deceive_v i_o that_o have_v i_o be_v in_o hell_n among_o those_o infernal_a fiend_n and_o have_v hear_v the_o yell_n and_o howl_n of_o those_o damn_a wretch_n i_o think_v i_o can_v not_o have_v be_v much_o more_o affright_a for_o than_o i_o do_v look_v upon_o my_o soul_n to_o be_v within_o a_o hair_n breadth_n of_o eternal_a misery_n and_o oh_o the_o condition_n i_o see_v myself_o then_o in_o be_v unutterable_a have_v there_o not_o be_v a_o everlasting_a arm_n of_o power_n and_o mercy_n underneath_o i_o shall_v undoubted_o have_v follow_v the_o step_n of_o cain_n or_o judas_n but_o o_o bless_a and_o admire_v be_v free_a grace_n and_o why_o i_o lord_n why_o i_o oh_o love_n love_n love_n even_o love_v unspeakable_a yea_o love_n unutterable_a and_o further_o in_o this_o my_o trouble_n the_o lord_n be_v so_o far_o please_v to_o pity_n and_o show_v mercy_n to_o my_o poor_a soul_n that_o my_o soul_n have_v not_o very_o long_o labour_v under_o this_o insupportable_a burden_n of_o her_o great_a and_o mighty_a sin_n but_o i_o perceive_v a_o door_n of_o hope_n as_o it_o be_v unlatch_v and_o somewhat_o open_a and_o that_o if_o i_o will_v but_o in_o good_a earnest_n turn_v to_o god_n that_o yet_o it_o be_v not_o too_o late_o and_o that_o there_o be_v hope_n in_o israel_n concern_v this_o thing_n which_o consideration_n do_v not_o a_o little_a comfort_n my_o poor_a soul_n and_o then_o further_o it_o please_v the_o lord_n to_o open_v my_o heart_n to_o visit_v one_o who_o i_o think_v may_v do_v i_o much_o good_a and_o i_o judge_v he_o fit_a to_o be_v acquaint_v with_o my_o condition_n in_o that_o i_o hope_v he_o fear_v the_o lord_n and_o by_o the_o way_n let_v i_o tell_v you_o that_o i_o do_v at_o that_o time_n unspeakable_o love_v all_o such_o even_o more_o than_o my_o own_o relation_n with_o humility_n let_v it_o be_v speak_v and_o when_o i_o be_v with_o he_o he_o joyful_o receive_v i_o and_o declare_v unto_o i_o many_o comfortable_a thing_n which_o through_o grace_n do_v not_o a_o little_a raise_v my_o deject_a spirit_n and_o he_o then_o lend_v i_o
you_o that_o for_o a_o little_a time_n about_o a_o month_n or_o two_o i_o be_v little_o satisfy_v no_o long_o than_o i_o be_v engage_v in_o such_o work_n as_o read_v hear_v deep_a meditation_n but_o especial_o prayer_n and_o these_o oh_o these_o be_v the_o physician_n that_o i_o look_v upon_o so_o much_o to_o work_v so_o great_a a_o cure_n upon_o my_o soul_n that_o none_o but_o christ_n that_o great_a physician_n can_v do_v and_o true_o the_o best_a of_o the_o physician_n be_v so_o full_a of_o ill_a humour_n themselves_o as_o pride_n self-confidence_n etc._n etc._n that_o without_o the_o physic_n of_o christ_n blood_n to_o purge_v and_o purify_v they_o they_o will_v have_v stink_v in_o the_o nostril_n of_o a_o holy_a and_o pure_a god_n as_o i_o be_o afraid_a they_o often_o do_v min._n now_o you_o have_v give_v in_o a_o account_n about_o sin_n i_o will_v glad_o hear_v what_o account_v you_o can_v give_v about_o the_o way_n of_o holiness_n and_o of_o grace_n and_o how_o you_o begin_v to_o make_v your_o progress_n in_o this_o road_n conu._n i_o must_v be_v but_o very_o brief_a here_o for_o i_o have_v much_o to_o say_v about_o other_o thing_n but_o i_o shall_v as_o the_o lord_n shall_v enable_v i_o satisfy_v you_o in_o this_o as_o i_o tell_v you_o before_o when_o the_o burden_n of_o my_o sin_n first_o come_v upon_o i_o that_o then_o and_o likewise_o in_o the_o six_o year_n of_o my_o conviction_n i_o be_v full_o convince_v of_o the_o necessity_n of_o live_v a_o holy_a life_n and_o of_o the_o beauty_n of_o holiness_n and_o that_o without_o it_o there_o will_v be_v no_o salvation_n for_o without_o holiness_n none_o shall_v see_v the_o lord_n and_o upon_o this_o account_n i_o also_o earnest_o beseech_v the_o lord_n by_o prayer_n and_o hear_v and_o read_v good_a book_n which_o the_o lord_n do_v mighty_o incline_v my_o heart_n to_o do_v and_o so_o every_o day_n i_o do_v more_o and_o more_o desire_n holiness_n and_o do_v earnest_o thirst_v after_o the_o image_n of_o god_n to_o be_v renew_v upon_o my_o heart_n so_o that_o in_o short_a i_o find_v no_o rest_n any_o way_n but_o what_o i_o get_v by_o live_v holy_o and_o abstain_v from_o sin_n and_o as_o my_o weak_a physician_n i_o mean_v my_o prayer_n hear_v read_v meditation_n vow_n resolution_n etc._n etc._n i_o say_v as_o these_o be_v able_a to_o apply_v comfort_n to_o i_o so_o i_o have_v it_o and_o no_o long_o be_v ignorant_a of_o the_o life_n of_o faith_n in_o christ_n and_o true_o they_o prove_v very_o bad_a comforter_n and_o as_o i_o tell_v you_o they_o want_v christ_n blood_n to_o procure_v acceptation_n in_o the_o eye_n of_o a_o pure_a and_o holy_a god_n which_o will_v regard_v they_o with_o favour_n no_o otherwise_o than_o as_o they_o be_v present_v to_o he_o sprinkle_v with_o the_o blood_n of_o his_o son_n min._n methinks_v you_o seem_v to_o speak_v much_o against_o these_o duty_n and_o against_o holiness_n as_o if_o they_o be_v not_o altogether_o necessary_a to_o be_v embrace_v do_v you_o not_o conu._n oh_o no_o god_n forbid_v i_o hope_v i_o shall_v never_o so_o far_o speak_v against_o they_o as_o to_o neglect_v they_o in_o the_o least_o but_o this_o i_o have_v say_v that_o i_o may_v not_o look_v upon_o they_o any_o further_a than_o as_o they_o lead_v i_o to_o christ_n for_o true_o i_o have_v find_v nothing_o in_o the_o world_n so_o much_o hinder_v i_o of_o comfort_n wilful_a sin_n only_o except_v as_o in_o lay_v so_o great_a a_o stress_n upon_o duty_n for_o certain_o have_v i_o lay_v my_o foundation_n sure_a upon_o the_o rock_n of_o christ_n and_o not_o all_o upon_o my_o own_o righteousness_n i_o shall_v never_o have_v be_v so_o much_o shake_v and_o as_o i_o may_v say_v almost_o overturn_v with_o the_o assault_n of_o sin_n and_o satan_n but_o he_o will_v have_v uphold_v i_o with_o his_o everlasting_a arm_n that_o i_o shall_v have_v be_v able_a long_o ago_o to_o have_v triumph_v in_o his_o merit_n over_o all_o the_o assault_n that_o satan_n and_o my_o own_o heart_n make_v against_o i_o min._n how_o long_o do_v you_o live_v upon_o the_o stock_n of_o your_o duty_n before_o the_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o let_v you_o see_v your_o error_n and_o how_o be_v your_o condition_n all_o this_o while_n as_o you_o think_v yourself_o conu._n i_o live_v so_o about_o three_o year_n or_o more_o and_o in_o that_o time_n i_o have_v some_o sad_a declining_n indeed_o every_o day_n almost_o i_o lose_v my_o god_n and_o the_o evidence_n of_o his_o love_n so_o as_o i_o think_v myself_o happy_a long_o than_o when_o i_o can_v perform_v duty_n with_o great_a zeal_n and_o with_o strong_a affection_n and_o then_o oftentimes_o i_o can_v have_v be_v willing_a to_o have_v dye_v as_o i_o think_v my_o heart_n do_v so_o rejoice_v in_o they_o but_o when_o my_o heart_n be_v somewhat_o dead_a and_o flat_a than_o i_o be_v at_o a_o great_a loss_n and_o can_v find_v out_o no_o rest_n for_o the_o sole_a of_o my_o foot_n min._n this_o which_o you_o have_v say_v seem_v to_o i_o to_o be_v a_o little_a strange_a why_o where_o be_v your_o faith_n all_o this_o while_n you_o tell_v i_o before_o that_o you_o dare_v not_o look_v to_o god_n but_o through_o christ_n and_o you_o seem_v then_o as_o you_o go_v along_o to_o make_v christ_n your_o hope_n and_o saviour_n and_o then_o how_o do_v you_o mean_v you_o do_v not_o rest_n in_o he_o conu._n this_o be_v somewhat_o hard_a to_o answer_v but_o i_o hope_v you_o will_v pardon_v my_o weakness_n and_o i_o will_v tell_v you_o as_o plain_a as_o i_o can_v and_o that_o only_o as_o my_o heart_n and_o conscience_n witness_v and_o not_o to_o take_v the_o help_n of_o any_o book_n to_o open_v it_o to_o i_o that_o so_o i_o may_v with_o more_o humble_a confidence_n say_v that_o these_o thing_n i_o have_v se●_n down_o no_o otherwise_o but_o as_o my_o own_o spiri●_n by_o the_o assistance_n of_o god_n spirit_n dictate_v to_o i_o and_o now_o i_o will_v tell_v you_o what_o i_o mean_v by_o what_o i_o have_v say_v i_o hope_v i_o look_v upon_o christ_n to_o be_v a_o complete_a saviour_n in_o every_o respect_n and_o i_o see_v my_o great_a need_n of_o his_o blood_n to_o procure_v my_o pardon_n for_o my_o sin_n and_o i_o know_v that_o it_o be_v only_o from_o his_o grace_n that_o i_o be_v in_o any_o measure_n sanctify_v and_o by_o this_o i_o hope_v i_o lay_v all_o my_o sin_n upon_o he_o and_o dare_v not_o in_o the_o least_o think_v of_o answer_v for_o they_o myself_o before_o god_n and_o seem_v to_o give_v he_o the_o glory_n in_o respect_n to_o any_o work_n of_o holiness_n in_o my_o heart_n and_o so_o i_o do_v high_o prize_v he_o and_o great_o delight_v in_o he_o and_o earnest_o desire_v to_o love_v he_o and_o more_o and_o more_o to_o serve_v he_o and_o so_o i_o act_v faith_n for_o three_o year_n but_o all_o this_o while_n i_o be_v not_o thorough_o convince_v of_o the_o insufficiency_n of_o my_o own_o righteousness_n so_o as_o to_o lay_v that_o at_o christ_n foot_n neither_o can_v i_o suppose_v it_o that_o one_o may_v be_v ●●●●●b●d_v by_o another_o righteousness_n but_o 〈…〉_o that_o because_o i_o be_v not_o altogether_o 〈…〉_o as_o other_o as_o i_o think_v there_o 〈…〉_o ●●ould_v fare_v better_o than_o other_o and_z 〈…〉_o mix_v my_o own_o merit_n with_o christ_n 〈◊〉_d never_o come_v ●o_o far_o out_o of_o myself_o as_o to_o cast_v my_o righteousness_n as_o well_o as_o my_o sin_n at_o his_o sit_fw-mi and_o now_o what_o abundant_a cause_n have_v i_o to_o be_v humble_v and_o to_o lie_v very_o low_a before_o god_n and_o still_o more_o and_o more_o to_o admire_v the_o infinite_a mercy_n and_o patience_n of_o god_n oh_o that_o i_o who_o after_o i_o be_v much_o enlighten_v and_o have_v abundant_o taste_v and_o see_v how_o good_a and_o gracious_a the_o lord_n be_v i_o say_v that_o after_o all_o his_o unspeakable_a mercy_n to_o i_o how_o he_o bring_v i_o out_o of_o my_o egyptian_a bondage_n of_o sin_n and_o loosen_v i_o from_o many_o strong_a hold_v of_o satan_n and_o bring_v i_o so_o near_o to_o his_o father_n bosom_n that_o i_o be_v wont_a to_o be_v many_o time_n almost_o ravish_v with_o the_o fore-thought_n of_o that_o joy_n i_o do_v hope_n for_o in_o heaven_n oh_o that_o after_o he_o have_v pass_v i_o over_o the_o red_a sea_n and_o when_o many_o of_o my_o enemy_n be_v dead_a and_o beat_a back_n and_o that_o after_o he_o have_v try_v i_o a_o little_a in_o the_o wilderness_n of_o this_o world_n than_o he_o will_v have_v bring_v i_o safe_a into_o canaan_n oh_o that_o i_o shall_v be_v so_o disingenuous_a as_o to_o set_v up_o a_o calf_n i_o mean_v my_o own_o righteousness_n