inlet to delusive Fancies and is a fore-runner of Apostacy if not seasonably reduced Such Religious Performances go out like the Snuff of a Candle It is not enough to chuse a fit time but you must allow sufficient time to Pray If you are straitned in your Time you will be straitned in your Prayer Also a great help in the well-performance of the Duty of Secret Prayer is to take Pains with your Heart by Meditation As the offering of sweet Incense was prepared and compounded of many costly Materials Exod. 30.34 so is a Spiritual Prayer not rudely and confusedly but deliberately advisedly preparedly and very particularly presented before the Lord. It is usually from want of preparation you find such deadness and indisposedness in Prayer a heedfull and deliberate reading of the Holy Scriptures before Prayer is also a great help for the well-performing of the Duty A farther help in the duty of Prayer is to have right conceptions of God conceive of him as he is and as he hath revealed himself in his Word to be an Omnipresent God Psal 139. that he is really though not visibly present in all Places and in that Place where you are Praying that he sees your Heart Whenever you set about this or any Holy Duty set God before your Eyes and represent him under the Notion of an Omnipresent all-seeing God Conceive of God as one full of Majesty and Greatness infinitely above any of his Creatures This Apprehension may much both quicken us and awe us in Prayer Conceive of God as one that is exceeding Gracious and Plenteous in Mercy to all that call upon him To apprehend God in his Greatness doth stir up Fear and Godly Reverence to apprehend God in his Goodness doth stir up Faith and Holy Boldness Conceive of God in Prayer as one God not divided in Essence yet distinguished into three Persons the Father the Son and Spirit all concurring to the Prayers of Believers and have a different office about them there is the Father Hearing the Son Interceeding the Spirit helping our Infirmities Conceive of God not absolutely but in Christ God in himself is a consuming Fire Heb. 12. But in Christ he is a Mercifull Father there is no coming unto God but by Jesus Christ Heb. 7.25 Entertain and maintain very honourable Thoughts of the Duty of Prayer it self this will both move you to the Duty and much quicken you in the Duty What the Psalmist says of the City of God Psal 87.3 that may be said of the duty of Prayer Great and Glorious things are spoken of it You may read of wonderfull effects of Faith the effects and fruits of Prayer are as many and great Heb. 11. It hath obtained Promises subdued Kingdoms turned away Enemies it hath raised the Dead stopp'd the Sun's Course yea made it go back it hath opened Prison-Doors and unlocked Secrets it hath opened Heaven and shut it again with much Reverence be it spoken it hath laid hold upon God himself and put him to a mercifull Retreat when he hath been marching in Anger against Persons or People God speaks as if his Hands were held and tied up by Prayer Let me go saith he to Jacob and Let me alone saith he to Moses as if the Lord would indent with Moses and offer him a Composition to hold his Peace Exod. 32.10 Wonderfull is that passage Isa 45.11 if read right God says Concerning the Works of my Hands command ye me The prevalency of fervent Prayer is very great it prevails much with God Jam. 5.15 16. Keep your Hearts close to the duty and suffer them not to stray or wander a straying Heart must needs be a straitned Heart in Prayer If you would have your Heart enlivened and enlarged in Prayer remember to repell every vain Thought that comes in to your disturbance resist it and call in help from Heaven against it Let the guilt of no one Sin lie upon your Conscience that will clog disquiet and check your Spirit in Prayer It is not amiss to observe a method in Prayer especially when you Pray with others as she would sometimes do when both my self and Curate were absent rather than Family-Worship should be wholly omitted though not tyed to Words but confused Repetitions and disorderly Digressions dis-affect those that join with you Though some prophane Scorners may mock and snear at this what real Evil scorn-worthy is there in it for a serious holy Mother to instruct her Daughters aforehand to Pray with their Maids and Children if God had spared them and given them those Relations I wish no Mothers would give their Children Counsels or Examples more liable to Exception Chuse such a Place to Pray in as is most convenient where you may not be disturbed by noise in your Ears nor be diverted by any Object before your Eyes shut also the Door lest the Wind of Vain-glory get in thereat Mat. 6.5 6. Be much in the use of Ejaculatory Prayer which is a short yet serious lifting up the Soul in desires to God Gen. 43.14 49.18 Neh. 2.4 2 Sam. 15.31 Luk. 23.42 John 12.27 Ejaculatory Prayer is a special means to keep our Hearts very Spiritual and Savoury when often in Heaven it is a special means to fit them for more solemn and continued Prayer You may find this way of Praying very famâ—â—â—â—r with the best of Men yea with Christ himself Also remember to set their Examples before your Eyes who have performed the Duty of Prayer with life-enlargement and importunity See Gen. 32.24 Matth. 26.26.39 Heb. 5.7 Hos 12.3 Examples sway us sometimes more than any Rules or Precepts For farther Encouragement to this Duty of Prayer consult with many other Promises That of our Saviour's where he saith Matth. 21.22 Whatever you ask in prayer believing you shall receive And in John 14.13 14. Whatsoever you shall ask in my Name I will doe it If ye shall ask any thing in my Name I will doe it And Matth. 7.7 8. Ask and it shall be given you seek and ye shall find knock and it shall be opened unto you For every one that asketh receiveth and he that seeketh findeth and to him that knocketh it shall be opened Call upon me and I will answer thee and shew thee great and mighty things which thou knowest not Jer. 33.3 Jam. 5.15 The prayer of faith shall save the sick and the Lord shall raise him up and if he hath committed sins they shall be forgiven him The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much Whosoever shall call upon the Name of the Lord shall be saved Rom. 10.3 If any man want Wisdom let him ask of God who giveth to all men liberally and upbraideth not and it shall be given him But let him ask in faith nothing wavering for he that wavereth is like a wave of the Sea driven with the Wind and tossed Thus she concludes it may seem somewhat abruptly I can give no reason and will not guess only the
Death of one very desirable Child were swallowed up by the Tears of Gladness for the lively Symptoms of the spiritual Birth of another not less dear to us The House was a Bokim not one dry Eye the Pathetick Earnestness with which the Child cried for Pardon and supplies of Grace enflamed and melted all that heard her and the abundance of Tears she shed so freely were like Water put into a Pump it brought up even Buckets full from all that saw them What would I not give for such another Evening I know there are too many in the World who will make these things the Subject of their Mirth and Scorn and opening other Books much oftner than the Holy Bible would be more affected with an auspicious Cut or turning up a lucky Trump than lighting on the divinest Promise in the Sacred Volumes and will stigmatize such Impressions with the Contemptuous Brand of Enthusiasm or at the mildest slight them as the Effects of warm'd Fancy But let them alone I 'll not disturb their pleasing Dreams yet Wisdom is Justified of her Children and though I will not presume to say We speak Wisdom to them who are Perfect and write such things for them who have their Senses Exercised to discern and relish them Yet I cannot but call to Mind how Petrus Blesensis endorsed his Treatise of the Love of God Secretum meum mihi My Secret to my self and I hope this will meet with some Readers to whom it may not be as insipid as the White of an Egg to allude to Job's Expression and for those who think it the cheapest and quickest way to ease their Minds in their unacquaintedness with such things to ridicule them in others I say Mock on I pass by for Brevity-sake many excellent Passages of most Exemplary Piety in several Pages relating to the Occurrences of near three Year Then follows In the beginning of September 1671. my Daughter Elizabeth had a great Fit of Sickness which brought her very low a Fever with a Rhumatism we had the Advice of eight or nine Physicians from London and Chelmsford and five upon the Place c. My self watched many Nights with her the time I could spare in my careful attendance on her I spent in Prayers and Tears at the Throne of Grace in her behalf from whence I had a Mercifull Return One Night she rutled and breathed short which made me fear the approach of Death I having by me Oil of Sweet-Almonds new drawn I desired to give her some of it but was afraid to attempt it and her Stomach did so nauseate what was given her though in it self Pleasant I went from her into another Chamber and earnestly besought God if he saw it good for her to incline her to a willing taking of it I brought her five or six Spoonfuls in a Silver Cup which she received of me without speaking one Word against it and drank it off without the least reluctancy or Regret I do most heartily bless God who did not cast out my Prayer the Oil caused her to Vomit much tough Flegm and withal gently Purged her after which she recovered Health I thank God Blessed God I beseech thee enable her to render to thee suitable returns of Love and Obedience that the residue and remainder of her days here may be in thy Fear not to offend thee but faithfully to serve thee who didst remember and help her in her low Estate that when thou shalt Consummate her Days on Earth she may be ever with thee in thy Eternal Kingdom and Glory Amen I shall conclude this Section with the Account of her Carriage and Demeanour in the last Sickness and Death of this Dearly Beloved Child I confess she is very large in what she writes of it therefore I shall contract it what I can though I find not an impertinent Line in so many Pages and I hope it will not seem tedious because it is so suitable to the End I design which is to propound her Example of Motherly Affection and Christian Submission to and Holy Improvement of God's smarty Tryals She thus begins I have now one of the saddest of God's Providences to record which hath befallen me in the Comforts of this Life I beseech God to sanctifie it to me and those concerned with me Then having at large related all the Circumstances of her Sickness she proceeds She was sixteen Years three Months and eleven Days old when she dyed After fourteen Days Sickness of the Small-Pox she changed her Corruptible State I humbly hope into Immortal Glory where she shall never Sin and the Effects of Sin shall be no more She was a very Beautifull and Lovely Woman c. God gave her a good understanding c. And so having described her Body and Mind exactly she corrects herself but thus to Characterize her may not suit my Pen But I may acknowledge these Accomplishments to the Praise of God's Goodness The ground of my Comfort is her sweet Inclination to the things of God and her Souls concerns as to her eternal State unto which she is gone unspotted from the gross defilements of the World and was Mercifully preserved from ever falling into any scandalous Sin and is set out of the reach of Sin Temptation and Sorrows got into Harbour off a Tempestuous Sea I bless God we have good hopes of her Eternal Peace and Safety for besides a blameless Conversation free from gross Enormities she was very Conscientious in the Duties of Religion she would always speak the Truth She was meek of Spirit very humble and charitable to the Poor and Pitifull and would relieve them as far as she had wherewith to do it she was very tender-hearted fearfull of Sin and of being found an Hypocrite Besides family-Family-Prayers she Worshipped God in private twice a Day in secret Prayer in the Morning she read the Scriptures and in the Afternoon spent an hour or more in reading good Books She did exhort others to serious Piety and in time of Health would be counselling and advising the Servants privately to be Religious and to take heed of delaying and putting off their Returns to God She had great Impressions on her Heart as to the carefull observation of the Sabbath and when she had made any digression with Worldly Discourse with others she would make acknowledgment she had done amiss a Sin lightly considered and as little bewailed ' Then she relates the Impressions of Gods Spirit on her Heart when twelve Years old of which before and her Patient and Pious Carriage in her Sickness three Years before this Then proceeds She had also Experience of Spiritual Temptations but resisted them with Abhorrence In this her last Sickness she acquainted me with them telling me she had been much troubled with a wicked thing I asked her what it was she said she would not speak it for all the World it made her fear lest she had committed the Sin against the Holy-Ghost Poor Lamb she
hear Books and Ballads cried of me about the streets though I had not acquainted any with my trouble but only Mr. Watson My Father's Sister my dear Aunt Quiney a gratious good Woman taking notice of my dejected Spirit she way-laid me in my coming home from the Morning Exercise then in our Parish She surprized me with an inquisitive desire to know what I ailed but I not readily informing her she ask'd me if I were not troubled with Temptations I marvelled at the Question and then acquainted her with my Affliction She from her own experience in the like case advised me which for the present was a refreshment to me for before I was not acquainted with any in the like condition with my self Some little time after my dear Father taking notice of me that I was not well but not fully understanding what I ailed sent for a Physician to me Dr. Bathurst who I hope was a good Man but I was much troubled at his coming though I knew my Father sent for him in his great care and love to me The Physician came to me one Morning before I was out of Bed he perceived my Distemper to be most Dejectedness and Melancholly With other talk he discoursed very piously with me I took the freedom to tell him I thought I did not need a Physician and with the expression of my respects desired him to forbear coming to me which the good Man did not take ill but with good counsel left me It pleased the Lord sometimes to refresh me with those Words of the Psalmist Why art thou cast down O my Soul and why art thou disquieted within me Hope thou in God for thou shalt yet praise him who is thy help and health of thy countenance and thy God How sweet is this propriety my God! Lord where thou givest thy Self thou givest All and thou who hast shewed me great and sore troubles wilt revive me again Thou hast brought up my Soul from the brink of Hell Thou wilt keep me alive that I shall not go down to the pit of Destruction I desired to go from home into the Country to some private good Family where I had no acquaintance which when my Father knew he readily granted my request My good Aunt understanding my mind she acquainted Mrs. Watson our Minister's Wife a good Woman with my desire by which means I went to her Father Mr. John Beadle an honest worthy good Man He was Minister of Banston in Essex My dear Father hired a Coaeh and went with me to Mr. Beadle's and with the expression of his tender love said to me That I should not want any thing to doe me good to the one half of his Estate And he was very bountifull in the requital of my receipts in that Family God's goodness to be acknowledged my dear Mother then was very kind to me I lived at Mr. Beadle's half a Year where I had the fatherly Care and Counsel and Prayers of that good Man with the great love of his Wife a very good Woman and very kind to me and the manifestations of the respects and care of their Children and Servants in any thing that might tend to my satisfaction and comfort The Lord requite it to them in spiritual Blessings with the Mercies of this Life In my continuance at Mr. Beadle 's the Lord afforded me with other opportunities and helps much time in reading and secret Prayer which through Grace I strove to improve for spiritual advantage and humbly hope for the sake and merits of Christ remains upon the file of God's Mercy for fuller returns of Grace For half a Year I do not know that I slept if I did it was very little and yet I did not want either sleep or health Blessed be God for his sustaining and supporting Arm. If I desired any thing that was gratefull to my Appetite when it was brought me I durst not make use of it because I thought it to be the satisfaction of a base sensual Appetite I did eat very sparingly which with my much weeping occasioned me some little inconvenience which became habitual When I had been at Banston about four months by God's providence for me Mr. Beadle exchanged one Lord's-Day with Mr. Walker then Chaplain to my Lord of Warwick at Leez the first time I saw my dear Husband When I had been at Banston half a Year my Father writ to me as to my coming home to which I was inclinable though my Father gave me my liberty It was in my thoughts that I was without natural affection Mr. Watson and his Wife being at Mr. Beadle's and returning to London I came home in company with them enjoying more calm of Spirit than when I went from home I bless God My Troubles wearing off more gradually which to my satisfaction I desired if God had seen it good for me might have been more signal in the discovery and manifestation of his favour in my Victory and Conquest of my temptation It is not for me to prescribe or limit the Holy One of Israel If I may take leave to beg and wait on him in whom are all my fresh springs for supply of Grace and Comfort if the Lord will give to me his unworthy Creature in pence and half pence what in bigger summs he sees fit to bestow on others that my dependence may be continually on him I desire to be thankfull Lord if thou wilt not subdue my Enemies at once yet make them tributaries to thy Glory and my spiritual advantage that these Amorites may be hewers of Wood and drawers of Water usefull to me that I may see my own deficiency and thy strength in my weakness For if thy presence goe not with me I shall soon desert thy cause and though I may be assaulted let me not be overcome but seeing the quarrel is thy own Lord undertake for me in this my military life here where there is no cessation of Arms that I may war a good warfare that those my Enemies which now affright me I may see no more for ever So grant Lord Jesus Amen Amen This minds me of that apposite passage in Dan. x. 10 11. and very applicable to her Case vers 9. Daniel was asleep upon his face with his face toward the ground then vers 10 And behold an hand touched me which set me upon my knees and the palms of my hands and then vers 11. he saith to him Stand upright On which place I meet with this Note The Lord doth not at once restore his Servants from their frailties that they by gradual comforts may prize every drop of Mercy beings not quickned all at once when they are mortified but may be admonished by the remainders of fears and frailties to keep their hearts humble and in continual dependence upon God I shall have occasion more than once to touch this dolefull string again 'T is recorded of our Lord that when he was Baptized He was driven of the Spirit into the
Light and my Righteousness in those particulars as the Noon-day telling me nothing could ever make her shrink or quail but guilt of which blessed be God we comfortably knew there was not the least Spark to raise that Blasting Smoak How did she pray to God! for she knew the Case would bear Appeals to him How did she write to and sollicite Men How did she walk and ride and repeat long Journeys beyond her Strength Had not her Affections been both more strong and swift than Legs or Horse or Coach and when a Gentleman had treated her less obligingly than by a messuage sent from himself he had incouraged her to hope for by her meekness of Wisdom by her calm Replies and by a convincing prudent Letter which she wrote him she obtained this acknowledgment from him That she was a very good yea excellent Christian but no more of these matters let them be buried in her Grave they 'll not disturb her Rest and I heartily pray that when she shall rise to Glory they may rise to no Man's Shame Amen Amen Next to the things of God my Company was the delight and satisfaction of her Life and when I went from home she would importune my speediest return and if she had any Friend to visit she would take the opportunity of my absence that she might not be from me when at home and if any Family affairs gave more trouble and bustle she would not fail to have them finished whilst I was abroad that there might be no molesting puther or noise in my Sight and Hearing and as she often told me next to the pleasing God her greatest Care was that I might never be displeased If passing the love of Women be a superlative Expression hers was more than so passing the love of most Women that there was not a Man on Earth I had cause to envy as happier than my self in that respect She was a Wife according to my own Heart and even exceeded the Character of such an one as with most earnest Prayers I begged of God to vouchsafe to me when I was inclined to enter on the Marriage State In this God did abundantly for me beyond what I could ask or think and as a good Friend who came to comfort me since I lost her was pleased to phrase it alluding to the Expression Ezek. 20.6 Of God's giving the Land of Canaan to his People God had spied out a Wife for me and as we have some hundred times blest God for singling us out from all other Persons in the World to be joined in that most near Relation so I repeat those Praises with profoundest Gratitude from the bottom of a most humble Heart She would often come into my Study to me and when I have asked her what she would have she would reply Nothing My Dear but to ask thee how thou dost and see if thou wantest any thing and then with an endearing Smile would say Dost thou love me to which when I replied Most dearly I know it abundantly would she answer to my Comfort but I love to hear thee tell me so And once when I was adding the reasons of my Love and began first for Conscience she stopt me e'er I could proceed as she was very quick Ah my Dear I allow Conscience to be an excellent Principle in all we doe but like it worst in Conjugal Affection I would have thee love me not because thou must but because thou wilt not as a duty but delight we are prone to reluctate against what 's imposed but take Pleasure in what we chuse so innocently witty would she be They that have such Wives will easily pardon my fondness in this short Paragraph and that all may doe it I wish that no Man living had a worse but I 'll not offend the most sowre or most squeemish in like kind for the future As she was all the best of Wives could be in time of Health so if God sent Sickness more than is credible to any but Eye-witnesses It once pleased God to visit us with Sickness both together she was taken first my self in few days after and both so ill our death was expected by our selves and others but God was pleased to spare us longer I recovered first and when I could leave my Bed and creep into her Chamber the sight of me was like Life from the Dead She hath oft told me she could not express what alteration it made in her the joy so revived her Spirits it helped to cure her There 's not a Sickness nor imminent danger I escaped all the time we lived together which she hath not recorded with most ardent Prayers and signal Instances of God's gracious Answers of them and most lively Praises which might thaw a Heart of Ice into streams of devoutest Thankfulness which even the fear of being prolix can scarce restrain me from transcribing but I will confine my self to one out of very many November 30. 1675. being Saturday my Dear Husband came from London and not well with a Cold. The Lord's Day following he Preached both parts of the Day Monday he took Ruffi's Pills he grew very ill with his Cold which was accompanied with a Fever and a Pleurisie Tuesday Morning very early I sent for Dr. Yardly and Dr. Godfrey On the Wednesday I sent to London for Dr. Walter Needham My Dear Husband having Pains in his Side was by the appointment of his Physicians let-Blood three times After his third Bleeding he had a very sick Night but not sensible of his Illness for when I asked him how he did he said pretty well though to my apprehension he was very ill He groan'd all Night and very restless when I raised him in his Bed to take something to refresh him he had tremblings and a fumbling in his Speech and sometimes speak incoherently which made me fear he was a little delirous these bad Symptoms gave me the fear of the sudden approach of Death I again sent for Dr. Needham who lovingly came again to us These Colds with Fevers were then the Epidemical Disease both of City and Country of which many died by which distemper my Dear Husband was brought even to the Mouth of the Grave from which God mercifully retrieved and gave me him again Thus far the History of my Sickness by her Pen to which before I transcribe the Devotial Part I must add from my own Memory to the Praise of God's Grace and Patience The third time of my Bleeding was by my own peremptory Resolution which I hardly obtained the other Physicians consent to it being the night before Dr. Needham came the second time but God whose Mercy put it into my Mind inclined them to consent to the Arguments I used for it which were these I told them my Pain continued in my Side my Water as high and thick as ever my Heat also and dryness of my Mouth I raised purulent and bloody Matter and I bled at Nose and urged
that Nature indicated thereby what must relieve and rising up in my Bed I stretched out my left Arm and humbly committing my self and the Success to God said I would Bleed again The Physicians then consented and proceeded to the Operation and opening a Vein in my Left Arm the Blood sprang out so abundantly that they drew at least ten Ounces After the closing the Orifice being laid down again My Dearest Dear who had been all my Sickness my tenderest Nurse my wakefull Watcher and all yea more than could be wished or expected or possibly performed without a spring of so strong and endearing Affection to give and guide the Motion became my Chaplain if I may have leave to use such an Expression and before the Symptoms she hath mentioned arrived at their height kneeled down by my Bed-side and wrestled with God in Prayer with such spiritual Fervency and expressed herself so appositely so pertinently so suitably and with such holy Ardour poured out her Soul to God as I never knew exceeded if equalled by the ablest Christian or Minister in all my Life Surely if ever the promise of pouring out a Spirit of Grace and Supplication was signally made good it was then made good to her and the effects of it to me for as she was a true Daughter of Abraham an Israelitess indeed she rose from her Knees a Female Israel she prevailed with God I fell into so great a Sweat as was scarce ever known and though the Night was full of the Symptoms she names which so afflicted and affrighted her yet she retained her Presence of Mind to assist me with holiest Words and kindest Deeds In the Morning Symptoms abated and when Dr. Needham came and had felt my Pulse He told me he came directly from Dr. Willis who dyed that day at Eleven a Clock of my Disease but added with a Smile he would not have told me so but that my danger was past and said That under God my last night's Bleeding and Sweating saved my Life without which humanely speaking I could not have escaped blessed be God who put that Resolution into my Mind and heard her earnest Prayers Now to return to her Pious gratefull Words I desire to bless God for every Circumstance of his Mercy in my Dear Husband's Sickness The helps and love of Friends the use of Physick with other means the constant and frequent Visits of Neighbour-Ministers their Prayers for us and of many other Friends and good People in our behalf to which I ascribe a great share of indulgent Mercy in sparing to me a little longer my Dear Husband God did not cast out the Prayer of the Afflicted but in my Distress when I cryed unto him he graciously inclined his Ear unto me and helped me Good Lord enable me with my yet continued Mercy mutually to acknowledge thy Kindness and by an exemplary holy Life to declare thy great Goodness to us Building up each other in our most Holy Faith as Heirs together of the Grace of Life And this Mercy wherewith thou yet intrusts me Lord help me more to improve to my Spiritual Advantage and continue him to length of Days with the abundant Gifts and Graces of thy Holy Spirit a choice and signal Instrument of thy Glory I bless thee for thy supporting Mercy in my Relative Duty in my many sorrowfull Nights and Watchings that when my Sleep departed from me I still might make my Addresses to thee who never slumberest nor sleepest for thou always seest the afflictions of thy People and knowest their Sorrows and wilt not despise them that seek thee thou hast restored Comfort to me and to my Mourners praised be thy Mercy 'T is hard to pass-by her tenderness to me of so recent Date as my last Year's Visitation which held me so many Months and brought me so low and at length settled in my Right-hand with such swelling and lameness as took away its use and under God I owe the recovery of it to her Skill and Pains and Kindness by her frequent bathing fomenting and annointing of it and preparing other both inward and outward Medicines so far to use my Pen to pay this small tribute to her happy Memory SECT X. Of her Lyings-Inn in Child-bearing GOD was pleased to give her strength to go out her full time of eleven Children six Sons and five Daughters besides some abortive or untimely Births And if ever Children were Baptized in their Mothers Belly excuse the Expression doubtless hers were so I mean solemnly Consecrated to God with fervent frequent Prayers and wash'd in a Jordan of her Tears who bore them as truly in her Heart as Womb. I find all their Births recorded with most savory and devout Reflections tho' some with more Enlargement as attended with more signal Circumstances I might transcribe them all that the sweet Spirit of Praise which breaths so fragrantly in every of them might kindle and excite the like Temper in others no Incense being more gratefull to the Nostrils of that God who saith He that offereth Praise glorifieth me but I must contract The twelfth of July 1651 God mercifully Deliver'd me of my first Child In 1652 I being big with-Child had an high Fever and was after a great and very hot fit delivered of a Daughter Aug. 29. Being Lord's Day between four and five in the Morning my Fever turned to an Ague and held me ten Weeks and brought me very low yet God in his Mercy graciously spared me and restored my Health I bless him for it Feb. 5. 54. God delivered me of a third Child our first Son God gave me a fourth Deliverance of a Daughter still-born Dec. 23. 55. I went my full time and might have been ever big Blessed be God that spared his unworthy Creature God gave me a gracious Deliverance of a fifth a Son May 15. 57. God gave me a Mercifull Deliverance of a sixth Child a Daughter June 8. 58. After a long and hard Labour continued three days and three nights in great Extremity all about me despairing of Life God mercifully Delivered me of a seventh Child a Son October 22. 59. which Mercy much affected my Dear Husband and for which my Deliverance I most humbly Bless God I confess I never knew to what degree I loved her till that time and never experienced such Raptures of Joy and Thankfullness for any worldly Matter as on that occasion the Impression of which was so deep that the remembrance of it hath a pleasing relish even to this Day God gave me a gracious Deliverance of an eighth Child a Son still-born after an hard Labour December the 11. 1660. In this Lying-in I fell into Melancholy which much disturbed me with Vapours and was very ill It pleased God to suffer my old Enemy very impetuously to assault me c. But more of this when I touch the return of her Temptation God gave me Deliverance of a ninth Child a Son October 9. 1662. God graciously gave me a
improve their Intellectuals to season their tender Hearts with a due Sense of Religion that they might be glorious within she having no desire so Pathetick no Joy so great as to see her Children walking in the Truth and in the Love and Practice of Serious Holiness To promote and forward this she taught them to Read as soon as they could pronounce their Letters yea before they could speak plain and sowed the Seed of early Pious Knowledge in their tender Minds by a plain familiar Catechism suited to their Capacity whilst very young which I find among her Papers that serious things might have the first Possession of their Hearts and would strictly charge the Servants not to tell them foolish Stories or teach them idle Songs which might tincture their Fancies with vain or hurtfull Imaginations and choak the good Seed of Pious Instruction or draw them from it When they had attained the first and smallest Sense of God she would cause them to kneel down and lift up their little Hands and Eyes to Heaven those humble Gestures being the silent Language of Natural Religion then would she dictate to them such easie words of Prayer as were most level to their budding Reason And when they arrived at four or five years old she would teach them somewhat a larger Prayer and cause them to go by themselves till they were accustomed to doe it of their own accord and as they grew up gave them directions concerning Prayer of which I find a Treatise which I would have called an excellent one had it not been hers so nearly Related to me of which more e'er long When they could read tolerably well she caused them to get by Heart choice Sentences of Scripture then whole Psalms and Chapters which she oft called them to repeat and gave them small pecuniary Rewards to encourage them and that they might have somewhat of their own to give to the Poor and when she gave Farthings or Victuals to travelling People at the Door she would cause a Child to give it to them to accustome them to be Charitable And in this Pious Maternal Care did she spend good part of every day which should not have been omitted when I gave account how she spent a Day and Week When they had learned the Church-Catechism she would have them answer publickly that the meaner sort might be ashamed not to send their Children and the poor Children might be quickned and encouraged by their Example and Company And having observed that many would read commendably in the Bible where the Sentences are shorter and the distinction of the Verses and frequent use much helped them who could scarce doe it intelligibly in other Books where the Periods are longer and not so well distinguished She would give them other Books and often hear them read them and would make a prudent choice of Books of Instruction and Devotion and sometimes usefull Histories as the Book of Martyrs and Abbreviations of our English Chronicles and Lives of Holy Exemplary Persons especially of those who were so while Young that she might doe several things at once both perfect their Reading and inform their Judgments and inflame their Affections to an imitation of their early Piety She was also very Circumspect not only to keep their Morals untainted from Pride Immodesty Lying Contempt of or deriding others for their natural Infirmities telling Tales or causing Debate or Anger and the like shewing them the evil of those Courses but also of their Gestures and Carriage that they might contract no indecent Habitudes or uncomely Postures which might expose them to Contempt but above all of this kind pressing them to Cleanliness and Neatness intimating that it was a sign and evidence in some measure of inward Purity and would often tell them that though all neat People were not good yet almost all good People were neat and that she had rather see an Hole in their Cloaths than a Spot upon them I pass by her Diligence in Teaching them whetever might fit them for all Family-Imployments in Pastry and Seasoning of which her Friends were use to say her Hand was never out causing them to transcribe her best Receipts for things which were curious but especially for Medicines with Directions how to use them that if God had spared their Lives they might have been as usefull in their Generation as God vouchsafed her the Honour to be in hers But I must by an inforced Brevity deny my self the pleasure of recording more lest by a seeming Prolixity I displease others and hasten to finish this Section with transcribing what her dear Pen had prepared for her Children many years ago and I never saw till I was bereaved of her For my Dear Children Mrs. Margaret and Mrs. Elizabeth Walker A Collection of Scriptures some to excite and move to c. Then follows many Heads under which they are ranked but because the order is changed in the Book it self I shall rather touch the order in which they are at large set down Then she concludes what I may call the Title-Page with these words Directed to each of them singularly All which to the Glory of God I humbly beg may be to your Souls Advantage so Prays with most earnest Request to God for thee thy Ever Loving whilst Living Mother Elizabeth Walker The first she begins with bears this Title It is the Duty of Christians to pray fervently and frequently with Faith with Humility with Sincerity with Constancy with Watchfulness in the Spirit with warmth and Life Then she begins with a description of Prayer what it is both as a means of Worship whereby we honour and give Glory to God and a means of Grace whereby we obtain Mercy and Help from him and subjoins in seven large Pages whatever she conceived Expedient and usefull for its answering both those ends all which she confirms with most apposite and proper Scriptures and Examples I thought to have abbreviated it here but when I went about it I could not find one Line to be omitted as useless or that might well be spared therefore must wholly pass it by or add it intirely in the Appendix amongst some other Papers of hers The second Head is this It is the duty of those whom God blesseth with the good things of this Life to supply the necessities of those who want them which God's Word as our Rule abundantly expresseth or a Collection of Scriptures to excite to a liberal Distribution to the Necessity of the Poor for with such Sacrifices God is well pleased Then she adds three Pages of such Scriptures Judiciously chosen The third Head Divers Scriptures which exhort to Meekness of Spirit This contains six Pages Then follows this single Page without Title which I shall transcribe with my Pen because she did it so signally in her Practice that it contains her Picture to the Life and was to teach her Daughters what they should be Prov. 12.4 A Vertuous Woman is a Crown to her
Husband but she that maketh ashamed is as Rottenness to his Bones Prov. 31.17 She looketh well to the ways of her Houshold and cateth not the Bread of Idleness She stretcheth forth her Hands to the Poor yea she reacheth forth her Hands to the needy She riseth also while it is yet Night and giveth Meat to her Houshold Col. 3.18 Wives Submit your selves to your own Husbands as is fit in the Lord. Eph. 5.22 Wives submit your selves unto your own Husbands as unto the Lord and the Wife see that she Reverence her Husband 1 Pet. 3.1 6. and ver 3 4 Likewise ye Wives be in Subjection to your own Husbands even as Sarah obeyed Abraham calling him Lord. Let not your adorning be platting of the Hair wearing of Gold or putting on of Apparel But let it be the hidden Man of the Heart in that which is not corruptible even the Ornament of a meek and quiet Spirit which in the Sight of God is of great Price Good Lord grant me this with all the other Graces of thy Holy Spirit Amen Amen Amen This last named Scripture was the Glass which she always drest herself by with exemplary modest Decency as became a grave and holy Matron and a Minister's Wife as she would often urge as one reason of the plainness of her garb which was never sordid or negligent though always in Black never appeared abroad in any other Colour so much as to a Knot or Ribbon I with great Thankfulness acknowledge she was my Crown and Glory and thâ— Heart of her Husband did safely trust in her The fourth Head which she Collected out oâ— the Scriptures for her Childrens use is Thâ— Threatnings in God's Word he hath denounc'â— against Sinners to keep your Hearts in aâ— awfull Fear that you neglect not God remembring that as he has and was so he stiâ—â— is and will be Just in the Punishment of thâ— Breach of his most Holy and Righteous Commands in observing of which there is greâ—â— Rewards If his Wrath be kindled but a little who can abide it but who knows the Power oâ— it How then shall we be able to dwell witâ— Everlasting Burnings and devouring Fire Stand in Awe therefore and Sin not Then follow no less than forty nine Pageâ— closely written of God's severe Threatningâ— against Sin and Sinners in general and the particular kinds of Sin all exactly cited as to thâ— Book Chapter and Verse Oh how richly diâ— the Word of God dwell in her How did shâ— Meditate in it Day and Night That she coulâ— so readily turn to almost any place only by heâ— own Memory and Observation for she woulâ— sometimes though seldom come to me intâ— my Study and say Pray My Dear tell me wherâ— are such Words repeating them for I know noâ— how to find them by a Concordance never having used one The fifth Head The Promises for the Pardon of Sin the faithful Sayings of God worthy of all Acceptation Jesus Christ came into the World to Save Sinners yea the chief of Sinners in him all the Promises are yea and in him Amen Then she begins with Gen. 3.15 He shall â—ruise thy Head a very comfortable Word to â—er who had so many Conflicts with the Old â—erpent her Enemy as she always called him Then follows a choice Collection in ten Pages which she concludes with Rom. 10. For the â—cripture saith Whosoever believeth in him shall â—ot be ashamed The Sixth Head The Promises to Perseverance in Grace God which begins a good Work in the Hearts of his People will perfect it for he works all our Works in us and for us and to him be the Glory who is the Author and Finisher for we are kept by the Power of God through Faith unto Salvation Then follow twenty nine Pages of such Promises The seventh Head The Promises in Affliction for Support and Comfort God doth not willingly grieve the Children of Men there has no Temptation overtaken you but such as is common But God in his Faithfulness will not suffer it to be above Strength but will with the Temptation also make a way to escape for he knows our Frame whereof we are made and will not contend for Ever Then folloâ— twenty one Pages of these Promises upoâ— Habak 1.12 Art not thou from Everlasting O Lord my God my Holy one we shall not dyâ— She adds Blessed be God for these Words anâ— all his blessed Promises for which a Reasoâ— will appear afterwards when she shews whaâ— support they yielded her in an hour of Temptation in the close she directs her Words 〈◊〉 her Children for whose use chiefly she haâ— taken this Pains Having these great and precious Promiseâ— cleanse your selves from all filthiness of Flesh anâ— Spirit perfecting Holiness in the Fear of God For Godliness hath the Promises of this Lifâ— and of the Life to come therefore seek first tâ—â— Kingdom of Heaven and its Righteousnesâ— and all these things shall be added unto you Theâ— concludes thus I intend not by this Collection of Promiseâ— and Threatnings transcrib'd out of Scripture 〈◊〉 take you off from the Historical and preceptâ—ry part of God's word to which as nothing 〈◊〉 to be added so nothing is to be diminish'd froâ— it but only to get Wine and Oil near-hand these precious Cordials not far off when mosâ— need of them therefore I request and chargâ— your Conscientious Reading all the Truths oâ— God revealed in your Bible the Holy Scriptures The eighth Head An abbreviation of Faith and Christian Principles which saith she I have collected out of divers Authors with some things of my own conceptions as God helped my understanding This contains eleven Pages and is a very judicious and usefull and methodicall discourse but because she distinguisheth not between what was her own and what she collected from others I transcribe nothing out of it She concludes it thus These Truths I do with the best of my judgment assent to and beseech God to establish my heart in the firm belief of his Word Good Lord let my Faith be sound and saving also The ninth Head I may call a Body of Divinity which she gives no intimation whether it were collected from others or of her own Composure as she did in what went before and therefore I have reason to think it was her own It begins with a description of God as to his Essence Persons and Attributes then proceeds to his works of Creation and Providence c. and proves by apposite Scriptures all she sets down 'T is very methodical and clear in 44 Pages If I have any judgment an able Divine need not be ashamed to own it and I think it would be no reproach to wish That all could exceed it When she hath spoken of Death and the Resurrection she adds Good Lord fit me for a dying hour Bring me to it In thy infinite Mercy be with me in it and carry me through it And after three Pages in which she describes
through thy Grace I loath O blessed Lord and enter my solemn Protest against them Defiance and Detestation of them Good God I would not have an irreverent thought of thy sacred Being incomprehensible and most excellent Perfection and transcendent Glory which I would and do with my whole Heart Soul and all the Powers of my whole Man with all integrity acknowledge and subscribe to with mine own Hand to which O Lord I beg the Seal of thy Spirit as a Witness to my Soul that I am in Christ Jesus thy Child and Servant Elizabeth Walker Engaged I am O Lord by Covenant with thee in Baptism to fight thy Battels I beseech thee put on me that whole and compleat Armour that I may be able to resist my strong Enemies which war against my Soul and fight against thee Blessed Lord I desire to prostrate my self at thy Feet in the deepest sense of my own Unworthiness that thou shouldest look upon and help such a Miscreant and forlorn Sinner But for his sake that never sinned I beseech thee support me with thy compassionate Mercy to me a loathsome and defiled Sinner and give me not over to spiritual Judgments hardness of Heart blindness of Mind Impenitency an evil Heart of Unbelief departing from thee Give me not up into the Hands of them that hate me and would work my Ruine I beseech thee do not chuse my Delusions leaving me to a deceivable Heart to which I dare not trust without the Guards of thy Holy Spirit Leave me not O God to my own strength in which I cannot doe the least good and without thine shall fall into the greatest evils of Soul and Body and sink to the bottom of the bottomless Pit of Sin and eternal Misery from which O God I beseech thee let thy unfathomed Mercy in Christ Jesus speedily prevent me and give a mortal stab to all my Corruptions by what Course soever thou wilt take with me only let me fall into thy Compassionate Hands Good Lord bind up my Wounds and heal my Putrifying Soars I beseech thee forsake me not in the time of my older Age when Strength faileth and suffer not the defects of my Body to become the Sin of my Soul I beseech thee suffer no Tryal to be above my Strength but Blessed Lord thou that hast suffered being Tempted make a way for me that I may be able to bear it I beseech thee lay that Hand on me thou tookest hold on Peter with that I may not sink in the deep Waters in which there is no standing Good Lord suffer no Weapon formed against me to Prosper but bring me up out of my Astonishments and Confusions of Soul though the Enemy break in like a Flood let thy Holy Spirit in my Heart lift up a Standard against him Good Lord take a full Possession of my Soul and suffer no Rival with thee let me be guided governed and acted by thee Good Lord let no Sin have Dominion over me I beseech thee fill my Heart and Soul with the Graces of thy Blessed Spirit Deep Reverentialness of thee much Love Fervour and Zeal for thy Glory which I beseech thee cause to be ever very and exceeding dear and precious to me and suffer not the Envenomed Arrows of my Enemy to stick on me but I beseech thee quench all those Fiery Darts the Poison of them drinketh up my Spirits Good Lord apply to my Soul that healing Balsam made of the Blood of the Son of God and with an Indelible Character let thy Law be written on my Heart O Blessed God Father Saviour Sanctifier I beseech thee make this the transcript of my Soul in an Holy Life in Submission and Obedience to thee in all things with all possible Adoration Thanksgiving and Praise unto thee O Lord most due in Heaven and on Earth to which I say Amen Amen Amen She Read also all the good Books with intentest Diligence she could enquire out or be informed of on this Subject and wept Buckets of Tears to quench those Fiery Darts which though she had an Excellent Eye brought her many Years since to the use of Spectacles and caused her oft to use the Psalmist's Expression My Eye is Consumed because of Grief and waxeth Old because of my Enemy And would often Pray that her Bodily-Infirmities might not be her Souls Dis-advantages and say That though they were not her Sins they were the Effects of them Thus was her Life a continual Warfare in which she fought the good Fight of Faith and was more than Conqueror through him that loved her and helped her and I am comfortably upon good Grounds persuaded hath received a glorious Crown of Righteousness from him whose Appearance she so heartily Loved and so constantly and earnestly waited for Her Warfare is accomplished and she rests from these and all her Labours and as she overcame in his Strength who taught her Hands to War and Fingers to Fight and covered her Head in the Day of Battel so to him be all the Glory and Eternal Praises Amen Amen SECT XVIII Friends she used to Pray for I Subjoyn to the Precedent an Account of another Paper which as the last abovenamed I found in a distinct Sheet with this Title A Catalogue of Christian Friends whom I desire in a peculiar manner to present in my poor Prayers to God at the Throne of his Grace and that God would doe for them for Soul and Body above what I can ask Then follows this Prayer GRacious God thou hast commanded to Pray for all Men but especially for the Houshold of Faith Lord thou never saidst Seek my Face in vain but hast with great Condescention and Encouragement Invited thy People to make their Addresses to thee for themselves and others And hast joyned with the Command thy Promise to hear and grant agreeable to thy Will what is best for us Lord thou givest Liberally and dost not upbraid and wilt not send thy People away Empty seeing thou always hast it plentifully by thee I come unto thee in the Name and for the Sake and alone Righteousness Merits and Mediation of thy Son and my alone Saviour Jesus Christ in the behalf of my Self and Christian Friends Lord I beg of thee for thy Church and peculiar People and by name present before thee some known to me my Christian Friends them and their Joynt-Relations Good Lord shower down on them the Blessings of Prayer Gracious God I do beseech thee extend thy choicest Favours to my most near Relations my Dear Husband my Dear Grandson his Father and his Relations with my other near Relations Good Lord be very gracious to our Neighbouring Ministry Mr. Alchorne Mr. Hublon Mr. Loe Mr. Arrowsmith Doctor Fuller Mr. Siday with the rest Lord give them the Plentifull Encrease of their Labours the ingrafting many Souls into thy Kingdom And be very gracious to those who have known my Soul in Adversity and have been earnest Petitioners in my behalf at thy Throne of
her God was pleased to give her much Honour and Esteem in this World with which she retained a lowly Mind with much sweet obliging Kindness to all acquainted with her She was very Friendly to the meaner sort very kind and charitable to poor People to whom she had a very compassionate Heart and bountifull Hand in relieving of them which she did with great Privacy though God hath been pleased since her Death to make it known by them in their Acknowledgments and bewailing their loss of her I bless God she lived very desirable and dyed much lamented she was a very loving dutifull Child to her Parents a very endearing Wife to her Husband and very sweet in all her Relations she was very acceptable to all her Husband's Kindred by whom the loss of her was much bewailed God was pleased to make her married condition very Satisfactory to herself and all concerned and though God was pleased to conclude it in so short a time taking her out of this Life scarce eleven Months from her Marriage which was accompanied with great Joy and Kindness of Friends yet God filled it with the close crouded manifestations of his Love and Favour to her yea her whole Life from her Cradle to her Grave to which she went with much Decency and Honour and which is much more valuable unblemished free from the gross defilements of this World The Lord was pleased to fit her for himself by a tender crazy Constitution of Body she was much afflicted with Head-Ach and other Illness which she bore with much quietness and submission under God's Hand by which he led her to the consideration of a better Life About four Years of Age on days of Prayer and Fasting she would sit by me the whole Day and at Prayer hold up her little Hands which in her riper Age with continuance from her Childhood she performed more understandingly She was constant in Religious Duties conversant in God's Word the Holy Bible which whilst she was a Child she oft read through and got much Scripture by Heart Also read many good Authors several good Books her Dear Father or my self commended to her which Practice she did not decline neither before nor since her Marriage She constantly at least twice a Day made her Addresses to the Throne of Grace in Prayer When she was very young she would give an account of a Sermon and repeat most of the Particulars or Heads of it and as she was religiously habituated from her Childhood I do humbly hope God confirmed her by his Grace to Perseverance in the Ways of God She would excite others not only in her own Practice but by her Counsels as to their Souls Concerns Amongst other her good Advices as her Dear Husband since her Death hath informed me she said to him ' That she did not question but he Prayed alone before he had her and said so did she and desired him to continue the same that one Prayer might not be lost by their Joint-Prayer which they used once a day going together alone to seek God besides publick and Family-Worship They oft said that nothing should more oblige them to each other than their mutual Love to each others Souls in their helping one another in their way to Heaven I bless God for his signal kindness to her in him so near and dear to her not only making them one Flesh but one Soul and both one Spirit in himself In the time of her Travail and following Sickness she was very Meek and Patient as in all her former Sicknesses and Pain The Disease took her Head which deprived her of her Understanding but I bless God that so guarded her Tongue that she did not dishonour him The Lord was pleased to give her some little relaxation of her Disease in which Intervals she exprest her self Piously And desired of her Relations the carefull and good Education of her Child said she had oft begged of God in the behalf of her Relations by Marriage and for those who were not disposed of that God would fix them so as might be their best advantage both for Soul and Body and desired there might continue a Loving Respect between both Families which I do beseech God to preserve Her Disease did not give her leave to express herself as otherwise she might have done much more to God's Glory and the Comfort of her Friends But Blessed be God for his Grace bestowed on her that her Evidences for her Eternal Happiness were not to seek upon her Dying-Bed but were in the safe Hand of our Saviour and sealed with the Signet of God's Right-hand with an indelible Character and Inscription of God's Holy Image and Law on her Heart by his Holy Spirit as a Title to those Eternal Mansions of Glory purchased for her with the precious Blood of her dear Redeemer Jesus Christ in which Blessed Estate I humbly hope she is in the Everlasting Fruition and Enjoyment of God his Elect Angels and those Blessed Spirits of the Just made perfect Her Flesh also shall rest in hope of a glorious Resurrection when Mortality shall be swallowed up of Immortality God will joyn Soul and Body in an indissoluble Union with himself in that abundant Entrance into the Everlasting Kingdom of our Lord Jesus Christ so shall she be for ever with her Lord in thy Eternal Praises In which Persuasion good Lord quiet my Heart that I may acquiesce in thy unerring Wisdom Good Lord scatter the Foggs and Mists of my unruly Passions that hinder the sight and view of thy reconciled Face and Favour to me I beseech thee Pardon my Sins and Offences which have provoked thee to this manifestation of thy displeasure against us bereaving us of our Children that of eleven none remains and of this the loss more grievous than any of the rest though they with her through thy Kindness very desirable to us but she our last one and all Lord shouldst thou take my Forfeitures how destitute should I be not only of Children but of all thy sustaining Mercies and above all in the irreparable loss of thy self who art abundantly better to me than Sons and Daughters Good Lord sanctifie to me this Dispensation and help me to find out the accursed thing which provoked thee to smite with so heavy a Blow I beseech thee with this correcting Hand beat off the busie Flies of Sin and Temptation that they may not corrupt my Soul Good Lord cleanse me from all filthiness of Flesh and Spirit that I may perfect Holiness in thy Fear run with Patience the Race thou hast yet set before me finish my Course in thy Service and conclude my Life in this World to thy Glory in the Salvation of my Soul for Christ's Sake Lord as for my self I beg of thee to be very Gracious to those related to us by the Marriage of our Dear Child though thou hast loosed the Knot that so nearly joyned our Families I beseech thee do not untie those
Affections that should continue Mutual Love Good Lord let that dear Chid she hath left behind her cement and joyn our Hearts in joynt Thankfulness unto thee and unite us one to another Lord give them thy choice Favours in Jesus Christ pardon of Sin with the Graces of thy Holy Spirit and order and dispose for the best whatever may concern them and theirs as to a happy tendency to their well-being in this World and attaining of thy self in endless Glory I beseech thee be very gracious unto him whom thou hadst united so nearly to her in a sweet Conjugal Relation Lord I have sinned and he also suffered Good Lord let all Grace abound to him in all concerns in this Life and for a better and let her gain be his great Advantage joyning his Heart more closely to thy self Good Lord bless that single Posterity of his and ours left of her who was his dear Wife and our dearly Beloved Child I beseech thee be his God in Covenant with him and Lord give him the Efficacy of his Baptism that he may be thine by Grace and Adoption I beseech thee take full and early Possession of his Heart Good Lord keep out the Vanities and Follies of Childhood and Youth that while he is Young he may be a Beloved Disciple of Jesus Christ If thou seest it good to continue him in this Life I beseech thee grant that he may in his dear Mothers room Honour God in this World with an exemplary holy Life a choice Instrument of thy Glory Good Lord charge thy Providence with him in the whole course of his Life and make up all Relations to him in thy self Graciously support him in and through this World Good Lord preserve him from the Soul-ruining Evils of it and when thou wilt take him hence I beseech thee receive him to thy self in thy Everlasting Kingdom in the full Fruition of God in Glory Lord though thou was pleased to clip off so great a piece of the Comfort of my Life in this World denying my Vehement Desires and Requests with the many Prayers of thy People and our Christian Friends for the longer stay of our Dear Child with us in this World yet thou art not the less a God hearing Prayer but hast heard and granted to an higher End not here on Earth with us but in Heaven with thee received in the Arms of Everlasting Mercies to which Blessed Estate I beseech thee bring me and those Relatives very dear to me Good Lord sanctifie to us this Chastening Hand and though thou cuttest off the Streams my Comforts of this Life let not my Soul be as a parched Heath that receives no good but draw me to thy self the Fountain of durable Mercies give me those Living Waters from the Wells of thy Salvation the Light of thy Countenance with thy reconciled Face and Favour those Rivers that make glad the City of God Good Lord vouchsafe me the sweet refreshing gales and incomes of thy Spirit and with thy Grace conduct me off these ruff Seas of Sins and Sorrows to my desired Haven and Port in those Eternal Mansions of Glory where all in thee shall meet with full Enjoyments of God and one another with sweet acclamations of Thankfulness and Praises to thee our God for Ever for Ever Amen Amen Amen I have transcribed this long Paragraph without altering or changing the order of a Word if some may account it tedious who either have not been exercised with such Tryals or have other shorter and cheaper ways to relieve themselves against them let them use their own Methods without censuring or despising hers This was her Heart's Ease when she was overwhelmed pouring out her Complaints to God in secret was her best Anodine but I hope it will need no Apology with most and if it doth with any I 'll not run the risque of losing my Labour by attempting it where the Success is so doubtfull and unpromising I shall venture to enlarge this Section a little farther for three Reasons First To shew the ardour of her Zeal for the Spiritual good of this Child so exceeding dear to her which may be an Instructive Example to some Mothers or Grand-mothers to stir up the like towards their Descendants as nearly Related to them as this Child to her Secondly Because I foresee I shall not in the Body of this Book have much farther occasion to trouble the Reader with any long transcripts out of her Writings what remains being designed for the Appendix which will be entirely her own Lastly To imprint upon the Child due Sentiments of Gratitude to God and her I meet with many Expressions of most Pathetick Tenderness towards this dear Child who now next to my self was the Center in which all the lines of her strong Affections terminated July 14. 1679. Our dear sweet Child went to Coggshall to his Father's House the Lord preserve him from all Evil and Bless him and comfortably restore him to us again About a quarter of a Year after he returned well to us again Blessed be God for it We went four Miles from Home to visit a Friend our dear Child was preserved in an apparent Danger The hinder Wheel of the Coach was very like to have borne him down and gone over him as he was going into the Coach the Horses being disturbed by a strange Horse went away but through God's preventing Goodness I had a quick apprehension of the danger I suddenly pulled him away Blessed be our good God for this Deliverance of our dear Child he had no harm the Wheel durtied his Hat and Coat good Lord help me to live thy Praises who art the God of our Mercies Some may say these are small Matters but I say they are no small Evidences of a very thankfull sense of God's Mercies and will leave them inexcusable who are not thankfull for greater In the Year 1682. God was pleased to put me in fear of the speedy dissolution of our dearly beloved Grand-child He was in a languishing consumptive condition with other symptoms of the Disease His Breath was very short had lost his Appetite he looked very Pale was very Lean which imprest on my Thoughts that God would take him from me To his Righteous Will I laboured to submit but God was pleased to reverse the Sentence with a Blessing on means used the Prescriptions of Dr. H. whom we sent for from London to him and with my own great Care of him he recovered Strength to God's Blessing I ascribe the Praise who did not cast out my Petition Good Lord let this pledge of thy compassionating Mercy to me strengthen my Faith in the grant of my more Earnest Request that I may assure my self agreeable to thy Will of his Sanctification I beseech thee season his tender Mind with the savoury Knowledge of thy Blessed self Lord I do not ask of thee the Excesses and great things of this World not Earth but Heaven thy Blessed self I beseech thee put
Advantage her much bewailed Death to prepare for which had been her daily work for many Years which happened February the 23d this present Year 1690. Her Sickness was short but blessed be God her great Work was not then to do She began to complain Wednesday Noon but dined with me took her Bed that Afternoon with design to sweat with a Dose of the Lady Kent's Powder but could not sweat I sent for Dr. Yardly early Thursday Morning a Vein was opened other Administrations ordered which seemed to succeed so well that we had scarce any apprehensions of Danger She sate up four hours Saturday till seven at Night and thought herself and so did we refreshed and better by it but a complicated Disease a Rheumatism Erysipelas and Peripneumonia by God's Wise and Holy Righteous Ordering prevailed against her Strength and our Hopes And on the Lord's Day she passed to her dearest Lord and the well-beloved Bridegroom of her Soul to begin that Eternal Sabbath which shall never be interrupted nor cease She spake not much in her Sickness hindred by the shortness of her Breath and swelling of her Face What she did was suitable to her Holy Life and I believe God hid from her as well as us the near approach of her Death in Mercy to us all One of the last Words she spake to me was before my going to Church A short Prayer my Dear before thou goest She was Buried February the 27th following with that decency which is fitter for others to relate than my self and now she sleeps in Jesus who by his Burial perfumed and warmed that Bed of the Grave for all his Members where we leave her in hopes of a Glorious Resurrection when her Dust shall rise to praise him AN APPENDIX Containing some few of the Directions she wrote for her Childrens Instruction mentioned Sect. 12. And some few Letters written by her I Desire it may be remembred she wrote these not for grown and experienced Christians who might be fitter to instruct her than be assisted by her much less with the least Prospect they should ever be published or seen by many Eyes my own never saw them till hers were closed but I hope may be useful for young ones and Beginners and as such I recommend them to her Friends to communicate to their Children if they think good and have not given them better of their own and therefore it is not just to measure her Abilities by the scantling of this Performance but to consider the End to which it was designed to suit the Capacities and assist the tender Minds of those for whom they were written when I guess they might be about twelve or fourteen years of Age for one of them died at sixteen and with this equitable Allowance I hope they may be very passable if not commendable and usefull For my Dear Children Mrs. Margaret and Elizabeth Walker IT is the duty of Christians to Pray fervently and frequently with Faith with Humility with Sincerity with Constancy with watchfulness in the Spirit with Warmth and Life Prayer is a means whereby we give Worship to God giving him the Glory of all his adorable Perfections Prayer is the Soul's Motion to God Desire and Expectation are the Soul of Prayer Prayer is a knocking at the Door of God's Grace and Mercy in Christ for all manner of Supplies you stand in need of Prayer is a Wrestling with God the Lord is willing to forgive ready to hear and help yet he delighteth to have his Strength tryed Gen. 32.24 25. The work of Prayer is not so much to lift up the Hands and Eyes and Voice as to lift up the Heart and Soul In Prayer is required extensiveness and intensiveness of Mind and Heart with Importunity which consisteth in a frequent renewing of our Suits to God notwithstanding all discouragements with a patient waiting for returns of Grace Prayer must be a Premeditated Work as to the Sins to be confessed the Wants expressed the Mercies acknowledged but especially to have right apprehensions of the Purity Majesty Immensity All-sufficiency Fidelity and Bounty of the Lord to whom you Pray with Faith in his Promises and Providences and his Almightiness to supply your Wants in the things of this Life and the Life to come Be much with God in Secret Prayer and let not the fire of the Spirit and Holy Zeal be wanting in any Duty which in the Hearts of God's People send out Holy Vapours of fragrant spiritual Desires and Requests to God Vials full of Odours which are the Prayers of the Saints Rev. 5.8 compared to sweet Incense Mal. 1.11 How near are the Saints thus exercised to Jesus Christ There is but a step as it were between them and Heaven What precious answers of Grace receive they oftentimes from the Oracle of God You will do well to observe the fittest Season for Secret Prayer though a Christian is to Pray at all times yet at sometimes more especially when we meet with any new Occurrence of Providence every fresh dispensation of Providence is a prompt to Prayer as when any Affliction befalls us Jam. 5.13 So when any fresh Mercy is received it is a fit season to go aside and to acknowledge God's Goodness and our own Vnworthiness 2 Sam. 7.18 When you find the Spirit of God moving upon your Soul exciting you to the Duty Cant. 2.10 your Hearts should answer again Thy Face Lord will I seek Psal 27.5 When you find your Heart in a settled and composed Frame then also is a fit season for secret Prayer When as David's your Heart is fixed not disturbed with any Secular Business The Morning also is a fit Season for Secret Prayer the Mind is most composed and troubled with fewest Diversions See her Practise Sect. 5. pag. 33. It were well to be with God as soon as you awake to offer up to him the first-Fruits of every Day this was with others David's manner Psal 5.3.139.3 The Evening also is a fit Season for Secret Prayer Psal 55.17 not only to begin but to conclude the Day with God Sleep not till you have begged his Pardon for your Sins committed and Praised him for the Mercies received that Day When you go about any Holy Duty set by all Worldly Occasions say to them as Abraham did to his Young-men Stay you here while I go aside and Worship God Gen. 22.5 Do not ordinarily go to Prayer when your Anger is stirred and your Mind full of Perturbation 1 Tim. 2.8 lest you offer up the Sacrifice of a Fool 1 Kings 19.11 12. and speak unadvisedly with your Lips Do not actually engage in Prayer when you are inclined to Sleep and Drowsiness you must be wakefull when you Pray if you would watch unto Prayer Also allot and set out a due Proportion of Time for the Duty of Prayer a slighty huddled Prayer is a blind Sacrifice carlessness in Prayer breedeth and feedeth Inconstancy and Instability in Prayer Slightiness in Prayer is an
writ upon the two Tables of thy Heart and Practice with his own Finger the Holy Spirit that thou mayst receive the Truth in the Love of it being renewed in the spirit of thy mind He that is in Christ is a new Creature and he that hath not the Spirit of Christ is none of his It is the one thing necessary to serve God and save thy Soul chuse that good part that may never be taken from thee Dear Johnny Let no day pass if in health without reading the Scriptures one or two Chapters in the Old-Testament the like in the New-Testament read with intention of Mind and so hear the good Word of God in publick and as God hath commanded keep Holy the Sabbath-Day do not violate that Holy Rest with Play Recreation vain Talk Sleep or Idleness or omitting any Duty it requires Eat moderately that Fumes from a full Stomach may not cloud thy Intellectual Performances withdraw from that Company and those Objects which may hinder thee from thinking on the Sermons or any other Religious Duty in them exercise thy self and if God ever give thee opportunity be helpfull unto others in the like for their Spiritual Advantage that all within thy Power may serve the Lord hearing the good Word of God reading it Meditation Prayer and Praises to God are the Duties of the Sabbath-Day spend no part of that in Visiting except to the Sick and Afflicted and allow it not to be done to thee by others sequester thy self from them and all Worldly Discourse but endeavour to keep that one Day in seven like the Angels and Saints in Heaven who serve and do not cease The Seventh Day is God's Tribute out of the Week he hath allowed thee Six for thy secular Concerns out of them bring thy free-will Offering sometime for thy Spiritual Advantage for which the Sabbath affords much and upon the due observation of it is assured from God to his People a communication not only of Spiritual Blessings but of Temporal Blessings also Read the latter part of Isa 58. Let no part of the Sabbath day slip without some Improvement for thy best concern for which also every day must be accounted for The Sabbath is an Hedge and Fence to all Religion if that be broken down there will enter all disorders of Life which Men are prone to to prevent which God seems to guard the fourth Commandment with the Authority of the three foregoing placing it in the midst and the fifth Commandment next on the other side bearing the Sword of the Civil Magistrate and by God's own appointment Numb 15.35 Moses caused the Man gathering Sticks on the Sabbath-Day to be put to Death Dear Johnny be affraid of the Powers though Men be remiss to punish the Breakers of God's Laws yet himself beareth not the Sword in vain Do not gather the Sticks of a mis-spent Sabbath a Day on which God hath set a special Remark a Remember to keep it Holy the great neglect and contempt of this Duty makes it more necessary to be prest more earnestly Keep all God's Commandments to break one link of the Ten violates the whole Chain Jam. 2.10 Keep it intire have respect to all God's Precepts in the latitude of them do not wander from them in the by-paths of a sinfull Life they are better than thousands of Gold and Silver they were of such a concern to David that he begs of God an Holy Compulsion make me to know thy Precepts Statutes and Commandments And Moses useth this Excitation to the Children of Israel for their observing God's Law Thou shalt keep the Commandments of the Lord thy God for they are for thy good Deut. 10.13 and 11.18 Therefore shalt thou lay them up in thy Heart and in thy Soul and doe and teach them Dear Johnny this doe thy self and as far as it may be in thy Power excite others in the same Duty that thou and they with Joshua's Resolution may serve the Lord Jos 24.15 Own God in this World as thou wouldst have him own thee hereafter Some glory in their Shame be not thou ashamed of thy Glory be not ashamed of the Profession of Religion Christ hath said He that is ashamed of me before Men of him will I be ashamed before my Father and his Holy Angels Dear Johnny God hath been very good to thee thou hast lacked nothing good for thee but God hath provided well for thee do not ill requite the Lord by the neglect of any known Duty or doing any thing contrary to the Law of God Sin is a very ungrateful thing do not provoke him to withdraw his Loving Kindness from thee for Soul or Body Woe if God depart What is said of a Tale-bearer That he separates near Friends the same will Sin do if not watched against it will separate between God and thy Soul and will bring an Evil Report to God with worse Effect than Joseph of his Brethren to their Father and will be of worse Consequence than stripping Joseph of his Coat not only the external Blessings of this Life but it will deprive thee of all Internal Comforts God's favourable Countenance which is better than Life and exclude from his Comfortable Presence for ever Sin put the Flaming Sword into the Angel's Hand to debarr our first Parents from the Tree of Life divested and stripped them and all their Posterity of their Original Righteousness and left them and their sinfull Off-spring naked exposed to all the Afflictions and Miseries of this Life and under God's Displeasure to their Eternal Ruine had not Free Grace recovered that lapsed Estate Thanks be to God for Jesus Christ Dear Johnny That thou mayest know that thou art one of those whom he so loved manifest thy Love to him by that Test that Christ put to his Disciples If ye love me keep my Commandments Love is a reflective Act if thou lovest God according to this Discrimination thou mayest know that he loveth thee and gave himself for thee and hath chosen thee one of his peculiar People zealous of good Works therefore if Sinners intice thee consent thou not go not with them lest thou learn their ways and get a blot unto thy Soul Let God's Law be the prohibition of every Evil Way set it with its drawn Sword against all Irregularities of Life that it may be unto thee as the Angel in Paradise to defend in thee the Tree of Life that no ill Practice with the evil Consequences of it may touch thee Dear Johnny Shew thy Love to God by thy Love to his People and poor Members of Christ Christ saith Hereby shall Men know that ye are my Disciples that ye love one another God requires the duties of the second Table of the Law as well as the first and Christ gives a concise and full account of both he being asked which was the first and great Commandment saith Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy Heart with all thy Mind with all
Kingdom of Satan may fall and the Kingdom of Christ be exalted that the Gospel may continue where it is and sent where it is not and received in the Love of it through the World Pray for all afflicted as their case requires and with thy Prayers and Praises give thanks to God for the prime Fountain of all his Mercies Christ Jesus In particular thou mayst mention at the Throne of Grace what Christ hath done and suffered for humble contrite Sinners Labour and beg for such a frame of Spirit such God not despise Express thy thankfulness for what Christ hath instituted and ordained in his Church for the Benefit and good of his People Thou mayst in particular express with Prayers and Praises That all may be applicatory to thy self These are short hints thou mayst enlarge God giving thee his Spirit of Grace and Supplication Let not vain Thoughts mingle with religious Duties beware of those wandring Vagrants do not take such Company with thee when thou drawest near to God in any Religious performance lest it be like offering strange fire provoke God rather to consume than bless thee but keep off those busie Flies they may not corrupt thy Sacrifice Say to all disturbing Thoughts as Abraham said to his Servants when he went to the Mount to Sacrifice Stay you here below till I go to Worship God Fervent Prayer is very prevalent with God of it may be said what is said of Faith which is a justifying Grace without which it is impossible to please God Heb. 11. For he that cometh to God must believe that he is and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him Good works are the Life of Faith being well performed for matter and manner without which Faith is Dead and God is not the God of the dead but of the living as the body without the spirit is dead so without works faith is dead also St. James 2. The great things a lively Faith hath done fervent Prayer hath done the same The little Book I sent thee was thy dear Mother's it is a good Discourse of Prayer Dear Johnny let thy Prayers and Praises with the sweet Incense of thy Love to God be offered to him on the golden Altar of an humble and sincere Heart in the mediation of Jesus Christ and put no religious Duty off with that foolish idle Excuse I have not time lest thou as the foolish Virgins were be unfurnish'd of Oil for the Lamp of thy Christian Profession and for thy neglect shut out of the Kingdom of Heaven If Time for Play Recreation Eating Sleeping or the like a due proportion of Time may be gained from them for thy best therefore thy most concern those indispensable Duties on which thy eternal welfare so much depends the neglect of them may be thy inevitable Ruine in this Life and that to come for Godliness hath the promise of both Therefore seek the Kingdom of Heaven in the first place and the things of this present Life shall be added to thee as may be good for thee The things of this World compared to God and Heaven are but Straws and Pibbles St. Paul calls them dross and Luther said The whole Turkish Empire is but a Crust God throws to the Dog God hath provided better things for those that love and seek him In this world is our preparatory Life for our future Estate I have oft said to thee That all Men are about this great Business but in a different way to a different end Good Men prepare for Heaven and Wicked Men prepare for Hell therefore avoid the broad-way of a sinfull Life which leads to Destruction chuse that way which comparatively few find the way of an holy Life the end of which is Peace which the World cannot give Dear Johnny Do not deferr thy great concern to serve God and save thy Soul more worth than Ten thousand Worlds Many much younger than thee have set about this great work Thou hast oft read Mr. Smythies's Book of the Benefit of early Piety also thou hast had a civil and religious Education and many more Prayers than thou art Days old Thy dear Grandfather's Care Counsel and Prayers mine have not been wanting as far as able to perform in my care and love of thee let them not condemn thee but labour to answer the end of them that thou mayst not disappoint God and us to thy own detriment and loss Dear Johnny where much is given the more will be required Time is precious use all lawfull Industry and Diligence for thy well being in this World and make all subservient for a better to come Thou knowest not how long God may continue thy Friends to thee She was not continued three Months nay thy own Life is uncertain all things in this World are so and there is no retrieving an Errour on the other side of Death Do not procrastinate take the wise Man's Counsel what thy hand findeth to doe doe it with all thy might which inferrs speed and diligence for the obtaining internal and external Blessings Deferring made St. Augusting cry out Too late too late Lord did I love thee Dear Johnny Do not put God off with a decrepid Love and the chill Spirits of old age and bodily Infirmity by which the operative Faculties of thy Soul through the organical Powers of the Body may be obstructed with defect and impeded with the ill Habits and Customs of Sin Avoid this Danger give to God the vigour and strength of thy Life let it be without blemish By God's appointment the young was brought to him in Sacrifice Do thou as Righteous Abel give to God thy firstlings thy first Love and suffer no Rival or Competitour with it it was the Test Christ put to his Disciples If ye love me keep my Commandments Dear Johnny I used to mind thee St. John thy own name let him be thy Example in thy Love to God he was the youngest Disciple most eminent in Christ's Love He was called the Disciple whom Jesus loved Dear Johnny Be not taken with the Gauds and Vanities of this World in any of the profers of it they will bite like an Adder and sting like a Serpent if they draw thy Heart from God Be not deceived by them they will put a lye in thy right-hand promising more than they can give Be not affected with vain Glory it is but a Puff of breath soon exhaled and will vanish from thee Yea so are all the things of this World for the duration of them Remember thy Baptismal Covenant with God thou didst promise to forsake the Pomps and Vanities of this World the Devil and all his Works and sinfull Appetites to them I was a Witness to this Engagement and one of thy Sureties Dear Johnny let thy Baptismal Vow through Grace preserve thy Morals untainted Let none be corrupted by thy ill Example and be not thou infected by the evil manners of others Speak no obscene or scurrilous Language