which_o i_o now_o see_v be_v but_o filthy_a rag_n etc._n etc._n then_o god_n give_v i_o those_o two_o promise_n isa_n 43.22_o 23_o 24_o 25._o and_o isa_n 54.9_o 10._o and_o fill_v my_o soul_n with_o joy_n and_o peace_n in_o believe_v so_o that_o i_o break_v forth_o into_o praise_n and_o thanksgiving_n the_o next_o day_n i_o go_v again_o to_o mr._n wheelwright_n and_o tell_v he_o what_o god_n have_v do_v for_o my_o poor_a soul_n who_o say_v unto_o i_o now_o i_o be_v somewhat_o prepare_v to_o preach_v jesus_n christ_n and_o the_o gospel_n of_o free_a grace_n to_o other_o have_v be_v teach_v it_o of_o god_n and_o have_v hear_v and_o learned_a jesus_n christ_n myself_o and_o he_o advise_v i_o to_o wait_v still_o upon_o god_n in_o prayer_n and_o christ_n will_v appear_v again_o to_o i_o by_o his_o holy_a spirit_n in_o his_o word_n and_o show_v i_o and_o teach_v i_o how_o to_o preach_v then_o i_o go_v home_o again_o and_o continue_v in_o prayer_n and_o one_o day_n beg_v earnest_o of_o god_n in_o prayer_n that_o if_o he_o have_v design_v i_o to_o that_o great_a work_n of_o preach_v the_o gospel_n that_o then_o he_o will_v give_v i_o some_o testimony_n out_o of_o his_o holy_a word_n of_o his_o call_v i_o thereunto_o whereupon_o those_o word_n be_v speak_v by_o his_o spirit_n to_o my_o heart_n act._n 26.16_o i_o have_v appear_v unto_o thou_o for_o this_o purpose_n to_o make_v thou_o a_o minister_n and_o a_o witness_n both_o of_o those_o thing_n which_o thou_o have_v see_v and_o of_o those_o thing_n in_o which_o i_o will_v appear_v unto_o thou_o whence_o i_o believe_v that_o now_o i_o have_v receive_v a_o call_n and_o commission_n from_o my_o lord_n jesus_n christ_n to_o preach_v the_o gospel_n of_o his_o free_a grace_n and_o i_o bless_a god_n and_o expect_v a_o further_a appearance_n of_o jesus_n christ_n unto_o i_o that_o night_n in_o my_o sleep_n christ_n put_v into_o my_o mind_n that_o the_o next_o lord_n day_n i_o shall_v preach_v on_o that_o text_n rom._n 8.1_o and_o he_o dictate_v to_o i_o in_o my_o sleep_n what_o doctrine_n i_o shall_v preach_v from_o that_o text._n the_o next_o day_n i_o go_v and_o tell_v all_o this_o to_o mr._n wheelwright_n who_o say_v now_o my_o belove_a brother_n and_z fellow_z labourer_n in_o the_o gospel_n of_o the_o grace_n of_o god_n christ_n have_v give_v you_o authority_n a_o call_v and_o a_o commission_n to_o preach_v i_o pray_v you_o be_v humble_a and_o holy_a and_o delay_v not_o to_o do_v your_o master_n work_n or_o word_n to_o that_o effect_n that_o night_n in_o my_o sleep_n the_o lord_n teach_v i_o more_o and_o the_o three_o night_n also_o and_o i_o retain_v it_o all_o in_o my_o memory_n and_o write_v it_o down_o and_o search_v the_o scripture_n which_o i_o receive_v in_o my_o sleep_n for_o the_o confirmation_n of_o my_o doctrine_n and_o the_o next_o day_n be_v the_o lord_n day_n i_o preach_v that_o which_o i_o have_v receive_v from_o the_o lord_n and_o god_n make_v it_o useful_a and_o powerful_a to_o conversion_n 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convince_v he_o and_o he_o be_v so_o great_o terrify_v in_o his_o conscience_n that_o he_o set_v open_a his_o door_n and_o let_v i_o go_v away_o but_o before_o i_o go_v i_o tarry_v so_o long_o in_o london_n wait_v for_o a_o passage_n that_o when_o i_o go_v aboard_o i_o have_v but_o 6_o brass_n farthing_n leave_v and_o no_o silver_n nor_o gold_n only_o my_o wife_n have_v 5_o l._n that_o i_o know_v not_o of_o which_o she_o give_v i_o when_o we_o come_v there_o by_o the_o way_n my_o little_a child_n die_v with_o convulsion_n fit_v our_o beer_n and_o water_n stanke_z our_o biscuit_n be_v green_a yellow_a and_o blue_a mould_v and_o rot_a and_o our_o cheese_n also_o so_o that_o we_o suffer_v much_o hardship_n be_v 12_o week_n in_o our_o passage_n but_o god_n be_v gracious_a to_o we_o and_o lead_v we_o safe_a through_o those_o great_a deep_n and_o ever_o we_o go_v ashore_o come_v one_o and_o inquire_v for_o i_o and_o tell_v i_o a_o friend_n that_o be_v go_v from_o boston_n to_o rode_n island_n have_v leave_v i_o his_o house_n to_o sojourn_v in_o to_o which_o we_o go_v and_o two_o family_n more_o with_o we_o who_o go_v sudden_o to_o their_o friend_n and_o other_o relation_n in_o the_o country_n and_o i_o be_v poor_a be_v necessitate_v to_o work_v daily_o with_o my_o howe_n for_o the_o space_n of_o almost_o three_o week_n the_o magistrate_n be_v tell_v by_o the_o minister_n that_o i_o be_v a_o antinomian_a and_o desire_v they_o will_v not_o suffer_v i_o to_o abide_v in_o their_o patent_n but_o within_o the_o time_n limit_v by_o their_o law_n in_o that_o case_n two_o stranger_n come_v to_o boston_n from_o piscattuah_n hear_v of_o i_o by_o a_o mere_a accident_n get_v i_o to_o go_v with_o they_o to_o that_o plantation_n and_o to_o preach_v there_o where_o i_o remain_v about_o four_o year_n and_o then_o be_v send_v for_o back_n to_o england_n by_o my_o age_a father_n i_o return_v with_o my_o wife_n and_o one_o child_n about_o three_o year_n old_a and_o she_o be_v great_a with_o another_o child_n and_o we_o come_v safe_a to_o london_n on_o the_o 24_o of_o december_n 1641._o in_o which_o year_n the_o massacre_n in_o ireland_n break_v forth_o and_o the_o next_o year_n war_n break_v forth_o in_o england_n between_o king_n and_o parliament_n i_o be_v still_o poor_a and_o sojourn_v in_o a_o lodging_n till_o i_o have_v but_o sixpence_n leave_v and_o know_v not_o how_o to_o provide_v for_o my_o wife_n and_o child_n but_o have_v pray_v to_o god_n and_o encourage_v my_o wife_n to_o trust_v in_o god_n and_o to_o remember_v former_a experience_n and_o especial_o that_o word_n of_o promise_n god_n have_v give_v we_o and_o will_v perform_v to_o we_o heb._n 13.5_o have_v pay_v for_o my_o lodging_n i_o go_v out_o not_o know_v whither_o god_n good_a hand_n of_o providence_n will_v lead_v i_o to_o receive_v something_o towards_o my_o present_a subsistence_n and_o about_o seven_o or_o eight_o door_n from_o my_o lodging_n a_o woman_n meet_v i_o in_o the_o street_n and_o tell_v i_o she_o come_v to_o seek_v i_o and_o her_o husband_n send_v she_o to_o tell_v i_o that_o there_o be_v a_o lodging_n provide_v and_o prepare_v in_o his_o house_n by_o some_o christian_a friend_n for_o i_o and_o my_o wife_n i_o tell_v she_o my_o present_a condition_n and_o go_v along_o with_o she_o to_o her_o house_n and_o there_o she_o give_v i_o 20_o s._n which_o dr._n bastwick_n a_o late_a sufferer_n have_v give_v she_o for_o i_o and_o some_o linen_n for_o my_o wife_n which_o i_o receive_v and_o tell_v she_o and_o her_o husband_n i_o will_v fetch_v my_o wife_n and_o child_n and_o lodge_v there_o and_o so_o i_o return_v with_o great_a joy_n and_o my_o wife_n be_v very_o much_o affect_v with_o this_o mercy_n and_o divine_a providence_n be_v so_o suitable_a and_o seasonable_a a_o supply_n unto_o we_o and_o she_o say_v oh_o dear_a husband_n how_o sweet_a be_v it_o to_o live_v by_o faith_n and_o trust_v god_n upon_o his_o bare_a word_n let_v we_o rely_v upon_o he_o whilst_o we_o live_v and_o trust_v he_o in_o all_o strait_n with_o many_o such_o like_a expression_n and_o after_o we_o have_v return_v praise_n to_o god_n we_o go_v to_o our_o new_a lodging_n where_o we_o find_v all_o thing_n necessary_a provide_v for_o we_o and_o all_o charge_n pay_v for_o 15_o week_n and_o my_o wife_n be_v bruise_v much_o on_o shipboard_n have_v sore_o labour_n and_o lay_v under_o great_a weakness_n above_o ten_o week_n all_o which_o time_n two_o doctor_n a_o apothecary_n and_o a_o chirurgeon_n do_v daily_o attend_v she_o and_o administer_v unto_o she_o free_o without_o any_o money_n and_o at_o the_o end_n of_o 16_o week_n we_o
and_o pray_v god_n to_o pardon_v this_o and_o other_o our_o sin_n whereupon_o we_o both_o kneel_v down_o upon_o the_o plough_v land_n and_o i_o pray_v weep_v and_o make_v supplication_n to_o god_n as_o well_o as_o i_o can_v and_o find_v so_o great_a assistance_n from_o god_n at_o that_o time_n that_o i_o never_o use_v any_o set_a form_n of_o prayer_n afterward_o which_o do_v we_o both_o kiss_v each_o other_o and_o go_v to_o school_n afterward_o i_o go_v to_o cambridge_n and_o there_o a_o godly_a minister_n preach_v on_o hosea_n the_o 5_o chap._n and_o 17._o ver_fw-la his_o doctrine_n be_v that_o the_o join_n to_o sin_n by_o often_o commit_v it_o after_o conviction_n of_o conscience_n for_o it_o do_v provoke_v god_n to_o give_v over_o many_o to_o the_o power_n of_o their_o corruption_n and_o let_v they_o alone_o to_o die_v in_o their_o sin_n i_o be_v thereby_o convince_v that_o it_o be_v my_o case_n for_o i_o have_v oftentimes_o break_v the_o sabbath_n after_o conviction_n and_o i_o have_v disobey_v my_o parent_n and_o have_v often_o tell_v untruth_n the_o same_o lordsday_n at_o night_n another_o godly_a minister_n preach_v at_o five_o a_o clock_n upon_o eph._n 2.3_o and_o thereby_o i_o be_v much_o more_o convince_v of_o my_o sinful_a condition_n and_o that_o i_o be_v a_o child_n of_o wrath_n without_o christ_n and_o grace_n etc._n etc._n which_o work_v of_o conviction_n remain_v strong_o upon_o i_o above_o one_o year_n under_o which_o i_o be_v fill_v with_o great_a horror_n and_o fear_n of_o hell_n sore_a buffet_n and_o temptation_n of_o the_o devil_n and_o make_v to_o possess_v the_o sin_n of_o my_o youth_n but_o yet_o i_o pray_v daily_o hear_v all_o the_o godly_a minister_n i_o can_v read_v and_o search_v the_o holy_a scripture_n read_v good_a book_n get_v acquaintance_n with_o gracious_a christian_n then_o call_v puritan_n keep_v several_a day_n of_o fast_v and_o prayer_n alone_o wherein_o i_o do_v humble_a my_o soul_n for_o my_o sin_n and_o beg_v pardon_n and_o grace_n of_o god_n for_o christ_n sake_n grow_v strict_a in_o perform_v holy_a duty_n and_o in_o reformation_n of_o my_o own_o life_n examine_v myself_o every_o night_n confess_v my_o sin_n and_o mourn_v for_o they_o and_o have_v a_o great_a zeal_n for_o god_n and_o a_o indignation_n against_o actual_a sin_n both_o commit_v by_o myself_o and_o other_o june_n 29_o 1629._o i_o be_v ordain_v deacon_n and_o the_o next_o day_n june_n 30_o i_o be_v ordain_v presbyter_n by_o the_o bishop_n of_o peterborow_n have_v preach_v above_o 16_o sermon_n before_o i_o will_v be_v ordain_v by_o way_n of_o trial_n of_o my_o ability_n for_o that_o great_a work_n of_o the_o ministry_n after_o my_o ordination_n the_o bishop_n of_o lincoln_n give_v i_o a_o small_a live_n at_o humberstone_n where_o i_o preach_v twice_o every_o lord_n day_n and_o once_o every_o holiday_n that_o which_o make_v i_o strict_a and_o laborious_a in_o preach_v be_v partly_o the_o work_n of_o conviction_n upon_o my_o conscience_n but_o more_o especial_o a_o providential_a acquaintance_n that_o i_o have_v get_v with_o a_o very_a godly_a old_a widow_n in_o gainsburgh_n where_o i_o teach_v the_o free-school_n before_o i_o come_v to_o humberstone_n who_o tell_v i_o of_o one_o call_v a_o brownist_n who_o use_v to_o pray_v and_o expound_v scripture_n in_o his_o family_n who_o i_o go_v sometime_o to_o hear_v and_o with_o who_o i_o have_v conference_n and_o very_o good_a counsel_n whilst_o i_o be_v at_o humberstone_n there_o live_v a_o very_a religious_a widow_n who_o fall_v sick_a send_v for_o i_o and_o charge_v i_o that_o i_o will_v not_o depart_v her_o house_n on_o the_o daytime_n until_o she_o end_v or_o mend_v lest_o satan_n shall_v tempt_v she_o above_o her_o strength_n the_o doctor_n of_o physic_n have_v give_v she_o over_o some_o godly_a minister_n friend_n and_o relation_n do_v take_v leave_n of_o she_o as_o a_o die_a woman_n she_o receive_v nothing_o for_o several_a day_n but_o a_o little_a julep_n which_o be_v put_v into_o her_o mouth_n with_o a_o spoon_n and_o run_v most_o of_o it_o out_o again_o lay_v speechless_a two_o or_o three_o day_n her_o family_n mourn_v over_o she_o and_o expect_v her_o death_n every_o hour_n i_o have_v bring_v some_o of_o my_o book_n to_o her_o house_n and_o be_v study_v her_o funeral_n sermon_n and_o when_o i_o have_v almost_o finish_v the_o same_o the_o devil_n set_v upon_o i_o with_o a_o violent_a suggestion_n that_o the_o scripture_n be_v not_o the_o word_n of_o god_n he_o have_v suggest_v this_o temptation_n to_o i_o divers_a time_n before_o but_o prevail_v not_o now_o the_o tempter_n assault_v i_o with_o this_o argument_n whatever_o you_o ask_v in_o the_o name_n of_o christ_n god_n will_v do_v it_o but_o that_o scripture_n be_v not_o true_a and_o if_o i_o will_v put_v it_o now_o upon_o trial_n i_o shall_v find_v it_o not_o to_o be_v true_a for_o if_o i_o will_v ask_v the_o woman_n life_n in_o the_o name_n of_o christ_n god_n will_v not_o do_v it_o and_o thereby_o i_o shall_v know_v the_o scripture_n be_v not_o true_a nor_o be_v they_o the_o word_n of_o god_n for_o his_o word_n be_v true_a to_o which_o i_o answer_v satan_n thou_o be_v a_o liar_n a_o deceiver_n and_o a_o false_a accuser_n the_o holy_a scripture_n be_v the_o word_n of_o god_n and_o the_o scripture_n of_o truth_n and_o see_v thou_o have_v often_o tempt_v i_o in_o this_o kind_n and_o now_o do_v assault_v i_o again_o that_o i_o may_v for_o ever_o silence_v thou_o thou_o wicked_a and_o lie_a devil_n i_o will_v trust_v in_o god_n and_o act_v faith_n in_o the_o name_n of_o christ_n in_o that_o very_a word_n of_o his_o truth_n which_o thou_o have_v now_o suggest_v i_o will_v leave_v my_o study_n and_o go_v and_o pray_v for_o she_o and_o believe_v that_o god_n will_v hear_v my_o prayer_n through_o the_o intercession_n of_o jesus_n christ_n and_o restore_v her_o life_n and_o health_n that_o thou_o may_v be_v find_v a_o liar_n whereupon_o i_o go_v into_o the_o parlour_n where_o 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return_v praise_n to_o god_n and_o she_o do_v join_v with_o i_o lift_v up_o her_o eye_n and_o hand_n still_o say_v i_o be_o heal_v then_o i_o rise_v up_o from_o my_o knee_n and_o ask_v she_o how_o she_o do_v o_o sir_n say_v she_o god_n have_v hear_v your_o prayer_n and_o have_v make_v i_o whole_a bless_a be_v his_o holy_a name_n then_o i_o unlock_v the_o door_n and_o some_o of_o her_o kinswoman_n and_o servant_n be_v at_o the_o door_n come_v in_o and_o ask_v i_o if_o she_o be_v dead_a to_o who_o i_o answer_v no._n then_o they_o ask_v i_o how_o she_o do_v i_o bid_v they_o go_v to_o she_o and_o ask_v herself_o she_o have_v be_v speechless_a four_o day_n i_o tell_v they_o she_o can_v speak_v now_o and_o as_o soon_o as_o they_o come_v to_o her_o bedside_n she_o lift_v up_o herself_o and_o say_v i_o be_o well_o the_o lord_n have_v hear_v prayer_n and_o heal_v i_o i_o be_o very_o weak_a and_o sore_a in_o my_o bone_n but_o i_o be_o in_o health_n i_o pray_v you_o give_v i_o something_o to_o eat_v and_o as_o soon_o as_o they_o bring_v she_o some_o broth_n she_o sit_v up_o and_o eat_v it_o and_o take_v some_o of_o she_o julep_n and_o from_o that_o time_n receive_v strength_n and_o the_o next_o day_n she_o do_v rise_v and_o walk_v with_o a_o staff_n which_o be_v hear_v of_o many_o godly_a minister_n and_o christian_n come_v to_o visit_v she_o and_o to_o know_v the_o truth_n of_o what_o be_v tell_v they_o touch_v her_o recovery_n i_o tell_v they_o it_o be_v not_o any_o thing_n in_o i_o but_o it_o be_v the_o lord_n that_o have_v do_v it_o for_o his_o own_o glory_n and_o to_o silence_n
satan_n who_o be_v never_o suffer_v to_o tempt_v i_o in_o that_o kind_n afterward_o god_n bruise_a satan_n under_o my_o foot_n and_o my_o lord_n jesus_n christ_n make_v a_o conquest_n of_o he_o and_o give_v i_o the_o victory_n and_o help_v i_o to_o give_v he_o the_o glory_n of_o it_o the_o next_o year_n after_o this_o i_o marry_v a_o wife_n with_o who_o i_o live_v 40_o year_n by_o who_o i_o have_v issue_n 7_o son_n and_o 3_o daughter_n who_o be_v a_o holy_a discreet_a woman_n and_o a_o meet_a help_n for_o i_o in_o the_o way_n of_o her_o household_n and_o also_o in_o the_o way_n of_o holiness_n who_o be_v my_o companion_n in_o all_o my_o suffering_n travel_n and_o hardship_n that_o we_o endure_v for_o the_o gospel_n she_o depart_v this_o life_n the_o 30_o of_o april_n 1671._o in_o full_a assurance_n of_o eternal_a life_n and_o salvation_n present_o after_o i_o be_v marry_v i_o be_v convince_v of_o some_o thing_n about_o the_o worship_n of_o god_n which_o i_o have_v conform_v unto_o to_o be_v sinful_a to_o wit_n the_o surplice_n the_o cross_n in_o baptism_n and_o admit_v wicked_a person_n to_o the_o lord_n supper_n whereupon_o i_o resign_v my_o live_n to_o the_o bishop_n who_o offer_v i_o a_o better_a live_n i_o tell_v he_o i_o can_v not_o conform_v any_o long_o and_o will_v do_v nothing_o but_o preach_v which_o he_o connive_v at_o for_o two_o or_o three_o year_n short_o after_o i_o be_v convince_v that_o my_o ordination_n receive_v from_o the_o bishop_n be_v not_o right_a and_o tho'_o i_o have_v preach_v some_o year_n by_o virtue_n of_o that_o ordination_n i_o have_v not_o receive_v any_o seal_n from_o christ_n of_o my_o ministry_n for_o tho'_o many_o have_v be_v reform_v and_o moralize_v yet_o i_o know_v not_o that_o i_o have_v be_v instrumental_a to_o convert_v any_o soul_n to_o god_n and_o thereupon_o i_o renounce_v that_o ordination_n and_o silence_v myself_o resolve_v not_o to_o preach_v any_o more_o until_o i_o have_v a_o clear_a call_n and_o commission_n from_o christ_n to_o preach_v the_o gospel_n and_o to_o that_o end_n i_o give_v myself_o to_o prayer_n day_n and_o night_n for_o several_a week_n together_o and_o at_o last_o be_v at_o prayer_n in_o a_o wood_n at_o woodenderby_n in_o lincolnshire_n where_o i_o have_v preach_v before_o and_o pray_v with_o loud_a cry_n and_o tear_n that_o christ_n will_v count_v i_o worthy_a and_o put_v i_o into_o the_o ministry_n and_o show_v i_o how_o to_o glorify_v god_n in_o the_o ministry_n and_o tho'_o i_o be_v much_o melt_v and_o enlarge_v in_o prayer_n at_o that_o time_n yet_o i_o have_v no_o answer_n from_o the_o lord_n after_o prayer_n i_o walk_v and_o meditate_a under_o the_o wood-side_n till_o sunset_n and_o then_o go_v homeward_o resolve_v not_o to_o preach_v till_o the_o lord_n make_v my_o call_n to_o that_o great_a work_n of_o preach_v the_o gospel_n clear_a to_o i_o and_o as_o i_o be_v go_v home_o a_o answer_n of_o my_o prayer_n be_v give_v to_o i_o in_o these_o word_n go_v to_o mr._n wheelwright_n and_o he_o shall_v tell_v thou_o and_o show_v thou_o how_o to_o glorify_v god_n in_o the_o ministry_n but_o i_o hear_v no_o voice_n nor_o do_v i_o see_v any_o vision_n only_o those_o word_n be_v plain_o and_o articulate_o speak_v into_o my_o ear_n and_o understanding_n at_o which_o i_o be_v astonish_v and_o say_v lord_n let_v i_o not_o be_v delude_v nor_o deceive_v then_o be_v bring_v to_o my_o mind_n that_o passage_n of_o cornelius_n send_v to_o peter_n who_o shall_v tell_v he_o what_o he_o shall_v do_v whereupon_o i_o be_v full_o persuade_v it_o be_v a_o answer_n of_o my_o prayet_n from_o the_o lord_n and_o i_o be_v fill_v with_o such_o joy_n that_o i_o go_v on_o my_o way_n rejoice_v leap_v and_o praise_v god_n the_o next_o morning_n go_v to_o seek_v out_o mr._n wheelwright_n who_o be_v a_o silence_a minister_n who_o i_o have_v hear_v of_o by_o some_o christian_n that_o he_o have_v be_v instrumental_a to_o convert_v many_o soul_n but_o i_o know_v he_o not_o nor_o do_v i_o know_v where_o he_o be_v but_o i_o be_v resolve_v to_o find_v he_o out_o for_o i_o have_v hear_v that_o he_o be_v near_o lincoln_n about_o 25_o mile_n from_o i_o where_o he_o live_v private_o and_o as_o i_o be_v get_v up_o on_o horseback_n one_o of_o my_o neighbour_n come_v by_o ask_v i_o whither_o i_o be_v ride_v to_o who_o i_o say_v i_o do_v not_o certain_o know_v i_o be_v go_v to_o mr._n wheelwright_n who_o be_v as_o i_o hear_v about_o lincoln_n no_o sald_v he_o mr._n wheelwhright_n and_o his_o family_n come_v to_o dwell_v at_o a_o village_n which_o be_v but_o three_o mile_n from_o my_o house_n for_z say_v he_o i_o see_v he_o come_v thither_o but_o three_o night_n since_o with_o his_o family_n and_o household_n good_n in_o a_o coach_n and_o a_o wagon_n thither_o i_o ride_v present_o and_o find_v it_o so_o and_o i_o tell_v mr._n wheelwright_n that_o yesternight_o i_o be_v pray_v as_o before_o and_o be_v send_v unto_o he_o by_o the_o lord_n etc._n etc._n and_o after_o he_o have_v ask_v i_o many_o thing_n about_o the_o work_n of_o god_n upon_o my_o soul_n and_o i_o have_v tell_v he_o he_o say_v i_o can_v not_o glorify_v god_n neither_o in_o the_o ministry_n nor_o in_o any_o other_o way_n or_o work_v for_o i_o be_v build_v my_o soul_n upon_o a_o covenant_n of_o work_n and_o be_v a_o stranger_n to_o the_o covenant_n of_o grace_n at_o which_o i_o be_v startle_v trouble_v and_o somewhat_o amaze_v but_o i_o tell_v he_o i_o be_v assure_v god_n have_v send_v i_o to_o he_o and_o by_o his_o mouth_n i_o shall_v be_v instruct_v how_o to_o glorify_v god_n in_o the_o ministry_n of_o the_o gospel_n and_o i_o do_v earnest_o entreat_v and_o beseech_v he_o to_o apply_v himself_o to_o give_v i_o his_o counsel_n and_o direction_n touch_v that_o matter_n then_o mr._n wheelwright_n open_v to_o i_o the_o nature_n of_o the_o covenant_n of_o free_a grace_n which_o i_o confess_v to_o he_o i_o be_v a_o stranger_n to_o in_o a_o great_a measure_n have_v be_v only_o under_o legal_a conviction_n and_o a_o spirit_n of_o bondage_n and_o though_o i_o have_v some_o discovery_n of_o my_o want_n of_o christ_n yet_o i_o have_v seek_v righteousness_n as_o it_o be_v by_o the_o work_v of_o the_o law_n and_o get_v my_o peace_n by_o perform_v duty_n and_o rest_v on_o they_o mr._n wheelwright_n desire_v i_o to_o consider_v what_o he_o have_v say_v to_o i_o and_o to_o come_v to_o he_o 2_o or_o 3_o day_n after_o so_o i_o leave_v he_o at_o that_o time_n and_o go_v home_o exceed_v sorrowful_a about_o my_o soul_n condition_n but_o i_o give_v myself_o to_o prayer_n and_o beg_v of_o god_n to_o teach_v i_o the_o covenant_n of_o grace_n and_o to_o that_o end_n i_o search_v the_o scripture_n and_o i_o hear_v one_o mr._n how_o preach_v upon_o gal._n 2.20_o i_o live_v by_o the_o faith_n of_o the_o son_n of_o god_n whereby_o i_o see_v that_o i_o have_v live_v a_o life_n of_o work_n and_o not_o of_o faith_n then_o i_o begin_v to_o see_v a_o necessity_n of_o believe_v in_o christ_n for_o pardon_n and_o salvation_n and_o hear_v the_o minister_n say_v that_o christ_n be_v the_o author_n root_n and_o only_a foundation_n of_o save_v faith_n and_o that_o god_n do_v give_v the_o faith_n of_o evidence_n heb._n 11.1_o in_o some_o new_a covenant_n promise_n gal._n 3.14_o and_o that_o those_o promise_n be_v give_v of_o god_n 2_o pet._n 1.4_o i_o pray_v that_o night_n and_o next_o morning_n and_o in_o the_o night_n season_n that_o god_n will_v give_v i_o such_o a_o promise_n the_o next_o day_n i_o lock_v myself_o in_o the_o church_n and_o in_o the_o chancel_n or_o choir_n so_o call_v i_o pray_v very_o earnest_o mourning_n and_o bemoan_v myself_o and_o my_o soul_n condition_n fear_v and_o with_o great_a brokenness_n of_o spirit_n and_o many_o tear_n express_v my_o fear_n that_o god_n will_v leave_v i_o and_o forsake_v i_o and_o then_o i_o shall_v utter_o perish_v for_o ever_o and_o then_o that_o promise_n heb._n 13.5_o i_o will_v never_o leave_v thou_o nor_o forsake_v thou_o be_v give_v i_o which_o promise_v stop_v i_o a_o little_a in_o prayer_n and_o i_o break_v forth_o into_o this_o kind_n of_o expostulation_n with_o god_n say_v lord_n who_o be_o i_o i_o be_o a_o vile_a sinful_a sinner_n the_o chief_a of_o sinner_n most_o unworthy_a of_o pardon_n and_o salvation_n how_o lord_n never_o leave_v i_o nor_o forsake_v i_o o_o infinite_a mercy_n oh_o free_a grace_n who_o be_o i_o i_o have_v be_v a_o graceless_a soul_n a_o formal_a professor_n a_o legal_a performer_n of_o holy_a duty_n and_o have_v go_v about_o to_o establish_v my_o own_o righteousness_n