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A05338 Englandes bright honour shining through the darke disgrace of Spaines Catholicon. Seruing as a cleare lantherne, to giue light to the whole world, to guide them by; and let them see, the darke and crooked packing, of Spaine, and Spanish practises. Discoursed in most excellent and learned satires, or briefe and memorable notes, in forme of chronicle. Read, but understand; and then iudge.; Satire Menipée de la vertu du Catholicon d'Espagne. English. T. W. (Thomas Wilcox), 1549?-1608, attributed name.; Leroy, Pierre, Canon of Rouen.; T. W., fl. 1573-1595. 1602 (1602) STC 15490; ESTC S104018 162,351 210

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can be Can you thinke rightly that he that is the Lord of so many kingdomes that he cannot count them nor call them by the letters of the crosse to we and so rich that he cannot tell what to doe with his treasures would so much as take paine only to wish so small a thing as the signeurie of France The foxe saith he will eate no grapes All Europe by a manner of speech is not so much as one countrie in comparison of the new Ilands conquered against the sauages when he sweateth these are his Diadems when hee wipeth his nose or face these are his Crownes when he tosteth himselfe these are his Scepters when he goeth about his affayres these are nothing but Counties Dukedomes that come out of his bodie he is so well stuffed and replenished therewith It should be then to very great purpose to suspect that hee would be King of France But what what I say not therefore to heale the kings euill or great poxe wherewith his Southerly countries are very sore infected hee maketh not any reckoning of the prayers of the deuout inhabitants of his good towne of Paris who haue besought him by plaine letters signed with their hands to receiue them as his good subiects and seruants to accept the weightie burthen of the Crowne of France or if his backe were so bowed and charged with other Crownes more precious that that of France could not finde place that yet at the least he would recompence therewith one of his Nobles or Princes who should doe him fealtie hommage and reuerence for it Marrie otherwise I beseech you for the honour of God A reasonable request thinke not that he thinketh thereof His behauiours in the Low Countries and in the new found lands should assure you that he thinketh of no euill no more then an old ape And though it were so Begin Cardinall with thy selfe and thy friends and then it may be thou shalt the better perswade that he had caused you all to kill one another and to perish by fire sword and famine should not you be very happie to bee placed on high in Paradise aboue Confessors and Patriarches and to mocke at these Maheutres which you should see vnderneath you to roste boyle in Lucifers fires Dye when you will wee haue Moores Africans Wallons and Foruscites to set in your place kil murder and burne hardly all Monsieur the Legate will pardon all Monsieur the Lieutenant will aduow all Monsieur d'Aumale will adiudge all Monsieur of Lions will seale all and Monsieur Marteau will signe all I my selfe will serue you for a father confessor and all France also if it haue the heart or spirit to suffer it selfe to dye a good Catholike to make the Lorraines and Spanyards her heires as I beseech you all in generall and particular assuring you next after Monsieur the Legate that your soules shall not passe thorowe the fire of purgatorie A gracious graunt hauing been alreadie sufficiently purged by the fires which we haue inkindled in the foure riuers and in the midst of this Realme for the holie League and by the penance fastings and abstinence which wee would make you doe in deuotion As touching the election of a King I giue my voyce to the Marquis of Chaussons Quaint qualities for such a place he is neither thicke lipped nor flat nosed but a good Catholike Apostolike and Romane I recommend him vnto you and me for my selfe In the name of the father the sonne and the spirit Amen These words being finished all the Doctors of Sorbonne and masters of Arts there present strooke the palmes of their hands together and cryed Viuat that is let him liue sundrie times together so mightily that all the hall sounded with it and after that the noise was a little ceased the Prior of the blacke Monkes rose vp out of his place and mounted vpon his bench or seate from whence he pronounced very loudly and that with good grace also these foure little verses as if he had composed them ex tempore Or ex trumperie rather His eloquence he was not able to cause to be seene For fault of one booke in which all his knowledges beene My Lords the Estates this very good man excuse His Calepin at Rome he left and could it not vse And euen presently after a little master of Arts stood out on his feete and turning his visage towards Monsieur the Cardinall of Pelue replied vpon the same point in so many carmes or verses Adde but h● and it will be charms The ignorant Friers had very good reason To make you their head Monsieur most grand For they that haue heard your goodly oraison Haue be knowne you to be of other the most ignorant All the world thought this rime very pleasant and after they had made a second clapping of the hands yet not so long as the first was Monsieur of Lions rose vp made a signe with his hand that he would speake Great preparations to heare a goose hisse Wherfore after that all the world had sonorously and theologically coughed hauked spit and respitted that they might the more attentiuely heare him by reason of the reputation of his eloquence hee discoursed thus or thereabout The Oration of Monsieur of Lions MEssieurs I will begin my speech by a patheticall exclamation of the royall Prophet Dauid Quam terribilia iudicia tua c. O God how terrible and admirable are thy iudgments They that will very narrowly looke or take heede to the beginnings and proceedings of our holie vnion shall haue very good occasion with their hands ioyned together Ah mannerly Prelate and lifted vp into heauen to crie O God if your iudgments bee incomprehensible how much your graces are they more admirable and to say with the Apostle Where sin aboūded there superabounded grace also Is not this a very strange thing Messieurs yea zealous Catholikes to see our vnion now so holie so zealous so deuoute that was almost in all the parts of it composed of people that before the holie barricades were all beiewelled and enriched with some note ill folfaied Warre worketh wonders and also ill agreeing with iustice And as it were by a miraculous metamorphosis to see sodainly and at one blow Or rather ordure atheisme conuerted into ardure and feruencie of deuotion ignorance into science of all nouelties and curiositie of newes concussion and extortion into fastings robberie into generositie and valiantnes to be short vice and crime transmutated into glorie and honour These are the stroakes from heauen as Monsieur the Lieutenant hath sayd euen from God himselfe I say so fayre and beautifull that Frenchmen ought to open the eyes of their vnderstanding profoundly for to consider these miracles and thereupon ought the good people of this Realme and those that enioy goods to to be red with shame with almost al the Nobilitie the more sound
But I know that ye shal do a most gratefull and gracious thing to our Lord the Pope and to the holy Apostolike sea and also to my most christian benefactor and most Catholike King of Spayne and of so many other kingdomes if you conserue the Dutchie of Britannia Armorica to his most famous daughter the infant and bestow the kingdome vpon some Prince of his familie whom she will choose for her husband and will vouchsafe worthie of the dowrie Crowne of France whollie to either of the competitors But of this poynt that most reuerend Cardinall of Pelue Elegantly spoken shall dispute vnto you and for the residue shall supplie it for he knoweth better then me my selfe your businesses which for twentie yeares space as well Lotharingically as Spanishly he hath handled at Rome and that so subtilly and faithfully that he hath brought your matters to that poynt into which you see them now reduced Aske my fellow and I be a theefe Wherefore when this godly Prelate and citizen did beleeue that his mother France was in the agonie of death and did draw the last breath he came lately to visite her as a good and a deuout confessor and the best cōpatriot to helpe you in the funerall or rather vulnerall pompe and exequies thereof But if you would choose some one seeking out of his benefactors of Lotharingie and Guisie surely you should do to him according to his heart and he would cheerefully annoynt and consecrate him with the oyle of the holie pot crewse or crewet which he hath at Reims expressely reserued and very wel kept vnder the custodie of S. Paule Duke of Campania and Rotelia looke you to it I by the expresse mandate of our Lord if you shall doe any thing in this matter against the lawes manners of this kingdome or against the Councels of the Church And not or against the Gospell and Decalogue specially according to the impression of heretikes doe promise you full absolution and indulgence and that freely for euer and euer Amen Alas for mee I did not remember to cause you to vnderstand a much and merueilous good newes which I haue receiued in haste from Rome by meanes of Zametto that is that his holines doth excommunicate charge accurse all Cardinals Archbishops Bishops Abbots Priests Friers which are politikes royall or fauouring the King how much Catholike soeuer they be And for to take away all differences and iealousnes betwixt the Spanyards and French the most holy father shall make But yet the Spaniards had it first that the French shall haue the kings euill aswell as the Spanyards shall become also as great brauaders or bragging fellowes bouggerers as they Moreouer he giueth full indulgence and pardon to all how great good Catholikes soeuer they be be they Lorraines or Spanyards or French men the which shall murther their fathers brethren cousins neighbours superiours royall Princes politike heretikes in this most christian warre during three hundred thousand yeares of true pardon A very good reason And doubt ye not that the holie spirit shall be wanting vnto you for the holie Consistorie will cause it to come downe from the armes of God the father at their pleasure or commaundement as ye knowe that hee hath denied these many yeares to create any Pope that hath not been an Italian or a Spanyard In fine I pray you for my sake make a King and I doe not care whosoeuer hee bee although hee were the diuell so that he bee a seruant and a feudatarie of his holines and of the Catholique King by whose meanes I stand and haue been made a Cardinall thankes to the good Duke of Parma for it This I will tell you that my voyce of choise shall willingly bee for the infant or daughter of Spayne More it is said thē she should for she is a valiant and worthie Ladie and much beloued of her father Neuertheles doe you that which shall please the Lord the Duke of Feria and Monsieur the Lieutenant But take you heed in the meane time how you opē your mouth to speake or reason of peace or of truce otherwise the holie Colledge will denie Christ himselfe I commend my selfe heartilie vnto you Againe I say vnto you farewell These words being finished little Launay heretofore made minister in the vniuersitie of Geneue and at this present the basest person of Sorbonne after that he had eaten vp the great breuiaries and heures of the late king to make banquets to Monsieur the Lieutenant fell vpon his knees with Garinus the Franciscan Frier and apostle apostata and assisted with Cuilly the Curat of S. Germain Lauxerrois and with Aubry the Curat of S. Andrew des Arts comming backe from shriuing Peter Barriere thundered out with a lowd voyce before Monsieur the Legats crosse O crosse all haile our onely hope in this time of the passion Some of the assemblie thought not well of it notwithstanding euery one followed them singing the same song and the stirre being ended the lot fell to Monsieur the Cardinall of Pelue to speake who lifting himselfe vp vpon his two feete like a goose after that he had made very deepe reuerence before Monsieur the Lieutenants seate he hauing put off his red had into his hood behind and afterwards making such another before Monsieur the Legate Great preparation to heare a goose hisse and last of all one most low of all the rest before the Dames or Ladies did in fine sit himselfe downe againe hauing coughed or sneezed three good times together and that not without auoyding of some phlegmatike matter which also prouoked euery one to do the like he began to speake after this manner directing his words to Monsieur the Lieutenant who three times sayd vnto him Couer a thousand or put on my master The Oration of Monsieur the Cardinall of Pelue MOnsieur Lieutenant you shall excuse me if to content this learned assemblie and to keepe decorum and the dignitie of the ranke or place that I holde in the Church by the prouidence of you yours Man setteth vp such mates I make some discourse in the Latin tongue in which you know that I haue a long time studied and knowe almost as much thereof as my grandfather A learned race who was a good souldier and a good farmor and that vnder Charles the eight But when I shall haue spoken three words I will then come to you and your affayres Wherefore I will now direct my selfe to you famous men Neuer word of this kind more true and the most picked out of all the filth and stinking dirt of France that I may make you to vnderstand many things which cannot sufficiētly enough bee expressed in the French language For it is most fit that wee chiefly that haue studied in the most famous vniuersitie of Paris and are more wittie then the tagge ragge of the people High poynts doubtles should haue