through_o thy_o grace_n i_o loathe_v o_o bless_a lord_n and_o enter_v my_o solemn_a protest_v against_o they_o defiance_n and_o detestation_n of_o they_o good_a god_n i_o will_v not_o have_v a_o irreverent_a thought_n of_o thy_o sacred_a be_v incomprehensible_a and_o most_o excellent_a perfection_n and_o transcendent_a glory_n which_o i_o will_v and_o do_v with_o my_o whole_a heart_n soul_n and_o all_o the_o power_n of_o my_o whole_a man_n with_o all_o integrity_n acknowledge_v and_o subscribe_v to_o with_o my_o own_o hand_n to_o which_o o_o lord_n i_o beg_v the_o seal_n of_o thy_o spirit_n as_o a_o witness_n to_o my_o soul_n that_o i_o be_o in_o christ_n jesus_n thy_o child_n and_o servant_n elizabeth_n walker_n engage_v i_o be_o o_o lord_n by_o covenant_n with_o thou_o in_o baptism_n to_o fight_v thy_o battle_n i_o beseech_v thou_o put_v on_o i_o that_o whole_a and_o complete_a armour_n that_o i_o may_v be_v able_a to_o resist_v my_o strong_a enemy_n which_o war_n against_o my_o soul_n and_o fight_v against_o thou_o bless_a lord_n i_o desire_v to_o prostrate_v myself_o at_o thy_o foot_n in_o the_o deep_a sense_n of_o my_o own_o unworthiness_n that_o thou_o shall_v look_v upon_o and_o help_v such_o a_o miscreant_n and_o forlorn_a sinner_n but_o for_o his_o sake_n that_o never_o sin_v i_o beseech_v thou_o support_v i_o with_o thy_o compassionate_a mercy_n to_o i_o a_o loathsome_a and_o defile_a sinner_n and_o give_v i_o not_o over_o to_o spiritual_a judgement_n hardness_n of_o heart_n blindness_n of_o mind_n impenitency_n a_o evil_a heart_n of_o unbelief_n depart_v from_o thou_o give_v i_o not_o up_o into_o the_o hand_n of_o they_o that_o hate_v i_o and_o will_v work_v my_o ruin_n i_o beseech_v thou_o do_v not_o choose_v my_o delusion_n leave_v i_o to_o a_o deceivable_a heart_n to_o which_o i_o dare_v not_o trust_v without_o the_o guard_n of_o thy_o holy_a spirit_n leave_v i_o not_o o_o god_n to_o my_o own_o strength_n in_o which_o i_o can_v do_v the_o least_o good_a and_o without_o thou_o shall_v fall_v into_o the_o great_a evil_n of_o soul_n and_o body_n and_o sink_v to_o the_o bottom_n of_o the_o bottomless_a pit_n of_o sin_n and_o eternal_a misery_n from_o which_o o_o god_n i_o beseech_v thou_o let_v thy_o unfathomed_a mercy_n in_o christ_n jesus_n speedy_o prevent_v i_o and_o give_v a_o mortal_a stab_n to_o all_o my_o corruption_n by_o what_o course_n soever_o thou_o will_v take_v with_o i_o only_o let_v i_o fall_v into_o thy_o compassionate_a hand_n good_a lord_n bound_v up_o my_o wound_n and_o heal_v my_o putrify_a soar_v i_o beseech_v thou_o forsake_v i_o not_o in_o the_o time_n of_o my_o old_a age_n when_o strength_n fail_v and_o suffer_v not_o the_o defect_n of_o my_o body_n to_o become_v the_o sin_n of_o my_o soul_n i_o beseech_v thou_o suffer_v no_o trial_n to_o be_v above_o my_o strength_n but_o bless_a lord_n thou_o that_o have_v suffer_v be_v tempt_v make_v a_o way_n for_o i_o that_o i_o may_v be_v able_a to_o bear_v it_o i_o beseech_v thou_o lay_v that_o hand_n on_o i_o thou_o take_v hold_v on_o peter_n with_o that_o i_o may_v not_o sink_v in_o the_o deep_a water_n in_o which_o there_o be_v no_o stand_v good_a lord_n suffer_v no_o weapon_n form_v against_o i_o to_o prosper_v but_o bring_v i_o up_o out_o of_o my_o astonishment_n and_o confusion_n of_o soul_n though_o the_o enemy_n break_v in_o like_o a_o flood_n let_v thy_o holy_a spirit_n in_o my_o heart_n lift_v up_o a_o standard_n against_o he_o good_a lord_n take_v a_o full_a possession_n of_o my_o soul_n and_o suffer_v no_o rival_n with_o thou_o let_v i_o be_v guide_v govern_v and_o act_v by_o thou_o good_a lord_n let_v no_o sin_n have_v dominion_n over_o i_o i_o beseech_v thou_o fill_v my_o heart_n and_o soul_n with_o the_o grace_n of_o thy_o bless_a spirit_n deep_a reverentialness_n of_o thou_o much_o love_n fervour_n and_o zeal_n for_o thy_o glory_n which_o i_o beseech_v thou_o cause_n to_o be_v ever_o very_a and_o exceed_o dear_a and_o precious_a to_o i_o and_o suffer_v not_o the_o envenom_a arrow_n of_o my_o enemy_n to_o stick_v on_o i_o but_o i_o beseech_v thou_o quench_v all_o those_o fiery_a dart_n the_o poison_n of_o they_o drink_v up_o my_o spirit_n good_a lord_n apply_v to_o my_o soul_n that_o heal_a balsam_n make_v of_o the_o blood_n of_o the_o son_n of_o god_n and_o with_o a_o indelible_a character_n let_v thy_o law_n be_v write_v on_o my_o heart_n o_o bless_a god_n father_n saviour_n sanctifier_n i_o beseech_v thou_o make_v this_o the_o transcript_n of_o my_o soul_n in_o a_o holy_a life_n in_o submission_n and_o obedience_n to_o thou_o in_o all_o thing_n with_o all_o possible_a adoration_n thanksgiving_n and_o praise_v unto_o thou_o o_o lord_n most_o due_a in_o heaven_n and_o on_o earth_n to_o which_o i_o say_v amen_n amen_n amen_n she_o read_v also_o all_o the_o good_a book_n with_o intent_a diligence_n she_o can_v inquire_v out_o or_o be_v inform_v of_o on_o this_o subject_a and_o weep_v bucket_n of_o tear_n to_o quench_v those_o fiery_a dart_n which_o though_o she_o have_v a_o excellent_a eye_n bring_v she_o many_o year_n since_o to_o the_o use_n of_o spectacle_n and_o cause_v she_o oft_o to_o use_v the_o psalmist_n expression_n my_o eye_n be_v consume_v because_o of_o grief_n and_o wax_v old_a because_o of_o my_o enemy_n and_o will_v often_o pray_v that_o her_o bodily-infirmity_n may_v not_o be_v her_o soul_n dis-advantage_n and_o say_v that_o though_o they_o be_v not_o her_o sin_n they_o be_v the_o effect_n of_o they_o thus_o be_v her_o life_n a_o continual_a warfare_n in_o which_o she_o fight_v the_o good_a fight_n of_o faith_n and_o be_v more_o than_o conqueror_n through_o he_o that_o love_v she_o and_o help_v she_o and_o i_o be_o comfortable_o upon_o good_a ground_n persuade_v have_v receive_v a_o glorious_a crown_n of_o righteousness_n from_o he_o who_o appearance_n she_o so_o hearty_o love_v and_o so_o constant_o and_o earnest_o wait_v for_o her_o warfare_n be_v accomplish_v and_o she_o rest_v from_o these_o and_o all_o her_o labour_n and_o as_o she_o overcome_v in_o his_o strength_n who_o teach_v her_o hand_n to_o war_n and_o finger_n to_o fight_n and_o cover_v her_o head_n in_o the_o day_n of_o battle_n so_o to_o he_o be_v all_o the_o glory_n and_o eternal_a praise_n amen_n amen_n sect_n xviii_o friend_n she_o use_v to_o pray_v for_o i_o subjoin_v to_o the_o precedent_n a_o account_n of_o another_o paper_n which_o as_o the_o last_o abovenamed_a i_o find_v in_o a_o distinct_a sheet_n with_o this_o title_n a_o catalogue_n of_o christian_a friend_n who_o i_o desire_v in_o a_o peculiar_a manner_n to_o present_v in_o my_o poor_a prayer_n to_o god_n at_o the_o throne_n of_o his_o grace_n and_o that_o god_n will_v do_v for_o they_o for_o soul_n and_o body_n above_o what_o i_o can_v ask_v then_o follow_v this_o prayer_n gracious_a god_n thou_o have_v command_v to_o pray_v for_o all_o man_n but_o especial_o for_o the_o household_n of_o faith_n lord_n thou_o never_o say_v seek_v my_o face_n in_o vain_a but_o have_v with_o great_a condescension_n and_o encouragement_n invite_v thy_o people_n to_o make_v their_o address_n to_o thou_o for_o themselves_o and_o other_o and_o have_v join_v with_o the_o command_n thy_o promise_n to_o hear_v and_o grant_v agreeable_a to_o thy_o will_n what_o be_v best_a for_o we_o lord_n thou_o give_v liberal_o and_o do_v not_o upbraid_v and_o will_v not_o send_v thy_o people_n away_o empty_a see_v thou_o always_o have_v it_o plentiful_o by_o thou_o i_o come_v unto_o thou_o in_o the_o name_n and_o for_o the_o sake_n and_o alone_a righteousness_n merit_n and_o mediation_n of_o thy_o son_n and_o my_o alone_a saviour_n jesus_n christ_n in_o the_o behalf_n of_o myself_o and_o christian_a friend_n lord_n i_o beg_v of_o thou_o for_o thy_o church_n and_o peculiar_a people_n and_o by_o name_n present_a before_o thou_o some_o know_v to_o i_o my_o christian_a friend_n they_o and_o their_o joynt-relation_n good_a lord_n shower_n down_o on_o they_o the_o blessing_n of_o prayer_n gracious_a god_n i_o do_v beseech_v thou_o extend_v thy_o choice_a favour_n to_o my_o most_o near_a relation_n my_o dear_a husband_n my_o dear_a grandson_n his_o father_n and_o his_o relation_n with_o my_o other_o near_a relation_n good_a lord_n be_v very_o gracious_a to_o our_o neighbour_a ministry_n mr._n alchorne_n mr._n hublon_n mr._n loe_o mr._n arrowsmith_n doctor_n fuller_n mr._n siday_n with_o the_o rest_n lord_n give_v they_o the_o plentiful_a increase_n of_o their_o labour_n the_o engraft_v many_o soul_n into_o thy_o kingdom_n and_o be_v very_o gracious_a to_o those_o who_o have_v know_v my_o soul_n in_o adversity_n and_o have_v be_v earnest_a petitioner_n in_o my_o behalf_n at_o thy_o throne_n of_o
but_o my_o dear_a wife_n pain_n and_o trouble_v i_o tell_v she_o we_o have_v now_o continue_v this_o custom_n a_o great_a while_n and_o that_o i_o think_v it_o too_o burdensome_a to_o she_o a_o dinner_n signify_v not_o much_o to_o the_o rich_a and_o for_o the_o poor_a i_o will_v take_v care_n they_o shall_v be_v no_o loser_n she_z at_o present_a seem_v well_o please_v with_o what_o i_o say_v and_o acquiesce_v in_o it_o but_o upon_o second_o thought_n she_o say_v my_o dear_a i_o thank_v thou_o for_o thy_o tenderness_n to_o i_o to_o prevent_v my_o trouble_n but_o i_o be_o rather_o willing_a to_o undergo_v it_o be_v it_o great_a than_o to_o discontinue_v a_o practice_n so_o long_o use_v constant_o and_o thereby_o occasion_v any_o misinterpretation_n as_o if_o it_o proceed_v from_o parsimony_n or_o abatement_n of_o kindness_n therefore_o i_o entreat_v thou_o let_v we_o continue_v to_o do_v as_o we_o have_v hitherto_o do_v yearly_o only_o let_v we_o try_v to_o have_v all_o in_o two_o day_n we_o use_v to_o have_v in_o three_o and_o if_o our_o house_n will_v not_o contain_v they_o all_o at_o twice_o to_o some_o of_o the_o poor_a i_o will_v send_v double_a as_o much_o as_o they_o can_v have_v eat_v here_o and_o so_o it_o be_v agree_v and_o perform_v and_o so_o her_o last_o christmas_n be_v as_o kind_n and_o charitable_a as_o those_o of_o former_a year_n sect_n xxii_o of_o the_o marriage_n of_o our_o only_a daughter_n and_o her_o death_n in_o childbirth_n the_o same_o year_n yet_o leave_v a_o son_n it_o be_v not_o to_o be_v wonder_v at_o that_o she_o shall_v write_v so_o many_o page_n of_o this_o come-tragedy_n as_o i_o call_v another_o providence_n mention_v before_o a_o tragicomedy_n who_o pious_a kindness_n be_v so_o mindful_a in_o holy_a prayer_n and_o praise_n not_o of_o herself_o alone_o but_o of_o her_o honour_a friend_n i_o shall_v touch_v but_o one_o or_o two_o for_o instance_n and_o i_o can_v single_v out_o any_o more_o suitable_a than_o of_o those_o right_n honourable_a lady_n who_o sweet_a condescension_n not_o only_o vouchsafe_v to_o give_v this_o our_o dear_a daughter_n frequent_o their_o kind_a and_o familiar_a conversation_n but_o borrow_v and_o desire_v she_o almost_o whole_a summer_n divers_a year_n concern_v these_o young_a lady_n thus_o her_o pen_n speak_v the_o lady_n ann_n the_o lady_n mary_n and_o the_o lady_n essex_n rich_a have_v a_o pious_a education_n under_o â—he_n tender_a care_n of_o the_o right_n honourable_a the_o countess_n of_o warwick_n their_o aunt_n who_o great_a care_n of_o they_o and_o kindness_n and_o love_n to_o they_o supply_v and_o over-shot_a the_o measure_n of_o what_o can_v be_v express_v to_o they_o by_o the_o tender_a mother_n of_o two_o of_o their_o marriage_n she_o write_v thus_o december_n the_o 11_o 1673._o the_o virtuous_a and_o right_o honourable_a the_o lady_n mary_n rich_a be_v marry_v to_o mr._n henry_n st._n john_n the_o elder_a son_n of_o sir_n walter_n st._n john_n a_o pious_a good_a family_n and_o a_o ancient_a baronet_n and_o great_a estate_n bless_a lord_n thou_o have_v abundant_o enrich_v they_o with_o the_o blessing_n of_o the_o nether_a spring_n full_a stream_n in_o the_o good_a thing_n of_o this_o life_n let_v it_o not_o be_v their_o all_o but_o turn_v these_o water_n into_o wine_n give_v they_o the_o blessing_n of_o the_o upper_a spring_n the_o plentiful_a effusion_n of_o thy_o spirit_n flow_v into_o their_o heart_n and_o soul_n that_o they_o may_v build_v up_o each_o other_o in_o their_o most_o holy_a faith_n as_o heir_n together_o of_o the_o grace_n of_o life_n june_n 16._o 1674._o the_o honourable_a lady_n essex_n rich_a be_v marry_v to_o mr._n daniel_n finch_n elder_a son_n to_o his_o father_n then_z lord_z keeper_z of_o the_o great_a seal_n of_o england_n good_a lord_n give_v they_o the_o blessing_n of_o thy_o right-hand_n and_o continue_v to_o they_o the_o blessing_n of_o thy_o lefthand_n also_o but_o let_v not_o their_o portion_n be_v only_o in_o this_o life_n let_v thy_o own_o prerogative_n have_v the_o supremacy_n in_o their_o heart_n and_o accelerate_v and_o quicken_v they_o to_o thy_o service_n that_o glorify_v thou_o on_o earth_n they_o may_v be_v in_o everlasting_a glory_n with_o thou_o in_o heaven_n amen_n amen_n i_o will_v mention_v no_o more_o like_a instance_n and_o humble_o beg_v pardon_n if_o i_o have_v be_v too_o bold_a in_o touch_v these_o i_o now_o come_v to_o the_o title_n of_o this_o section_n and_o shall_v add_v nothing_o of_o my_o own_o only_o transcribe_v and_o that_o with_o abbreviation_n what_o her_o pious_a pen_n have_v leave_v i_o not_o that_o one_o word_n need_v to_o be_v retrench_v upon_o other_o account_n but_o only_o to_o avoid_v prolixity_n january_n 17._o 1675._o my_o dear_a husband_n and_o my_o dear_a child_n margaret_n walker_n go_v to_o london_n in_o reference_n to_o our_o great_a concern_v her_o marriage_n our_o only_a one_o so_o dear_a to_o we_o she_o be_v marry_v february_n the_o one_a 1675._o to_o mr._n john_n cox_n barrister_n of_o grays-inn_n his_o father_n live_v at_o coggshall_n his_o relation_n very_o honest_a good_a people_n and_o very_o well_o to_o live_v in_o the_o world_n god_n have_v gracious_o provide_v for_o she_o a_o love_a husband_n a_o sober_a person_n and_o i_o hope_v a_o good_a man._n god_n consummate_v their_o choice_n by_o mr._n gifford_n a_o worthy_a good_a man_n minister_n of_o st._n dunstan_n in_o the_o east_n in_o london_n whither_o she_o be_v accompany_v by_o the_o right_n honourable_a the_o countess_n of_o warwick_n with_o the_o chief_a of_o the_o family_n from_o warwick-house_n and_o with_o many_o other_o manifestation_n of_o kindness_n god_n shine_v upon_o she_o and_o in_o all_o respect_n give_v she_o a_o comfortable_a day_n i_o draw_v the_o curtain_n of_o a_o modest_a etc._n etc._n over_o the_o rest_n lest_o the_o thankfulness_n of_o she_o who_o be_v so_o true_o humble_a shall_v incur_v the_o unkind_a censure_n or_o suspicion_n of_o vanity_n and_o conclude_v what_o i_o have_v omit_v with_o these_o word_n and_o with_o many_o other_o favour_n god_n have_v honour_v they_o she_o proceed_v lord_n i_o desire_v to_o own_o thy_o goodness_n as_o the_o fountain_n head_n from_o whence_o flow_v all_o good_a to_o be_v enjoy_v in_o the_o thing_n of_o this_o life_n and_o concern_v of_o a_o better_a and_o more_o endurable_a estate_n for_o their_o soul_n advantage_n for_o which_o i_o beseech_v thou_o give_v they_o a_o capacious_a heart_n to_o know_v love_n serve_v and_o enjoy_v thyself_o and_o vouchsafe_v they_o of_o the_o good_a thing_n of_o this_o world_n what_o thou_o see_v convenient_a for_o they_o and_o help_v they_o to_o be_v content_v to_o be_v without_o what_o in_o mercy_n thou_o deny_v they_o good_a lord_n keep_v both_o they_o and_o they_o inoffensive_a in_o this_o world_n and_o when_o they_o shall_v go_v hence_o and_o be_v no_o more_o in_o this_o life_n lord_n grant_v that_o where_o thou_o be_v they_o may_v be_v also_o in_o eternal_a glory_n amen_n amen_n thus_o far_o the_o pleasant_a and_o more_o lightsome_a part_n now_o follow_v what_o be_v more_o dark_a and_o doleful_a i_o have_v now_o a_o very_a smarty_n afflictive_a dispensation_n from_o god_n to_o record_v very_o press_v by_o his_o afflictive_a hand_n on_o we_o i_o acknowledge_v very_o deserve_o for_o my_o sin_n the_o lord_n have_v take_v from_o we_o out_o of_o this_o life_n our_o only_a one_o the_o most_o dear_o belove_a daughter_n and_o child_n of_o my_o choice_a affection_n mrs._n margaret_n cox_n she_o be_v marry_v february_n the_o first_o 1675._o the_o 19_o 〈◊〉_d november_n follow_v she_o be_v deliver_v of_o a_o son_n lord_n day_n seven_o a_o clock_n in_o the_o morning_n she_o continue_v pretty_a well_o two_o or_o three_o day_n tuesday_n follow_v sicken_v of_o a_o fever_n and_o die_v december_n the_o 5_o 1675._o but_o god_n in_o the_o midst_n of_o his_o just_a judgement_n remember_v his_o mercy_n to_o we_o have_v spare_v the_o little_a one_o to_o we_o bless_a be_v god_n for_o it_o and_o receive_v the_o motherless_a babe_n into_o covenant_n with_o himself_o by_o baptism_n i_o bless_v god_n he_o be_v the_o son_n of_o good_a parent_n his_o father_n a_o very_a sober_a and_o a_o good_a man_n his_o dear_a decease_a mother_n be_v a_o fine_a lovely_a handsome_a well_o accomplish_v woman_n both_o in_o nature_n and_o grace_n to_o god_n praise_n i_o do_v make_v my_o acknowledgement_n let_v it_o have_v no_o other_o censure_n she_o be_v of_o a_o quick_a apprehension_n modest_a humble_a discreet_a and_o of_o a_o good_a judgement_n and_o well_o fit_v for_o family-government_n and_o employment_n she_o have_v a_o sweet_a amicable_a deportment_n and_o graceful_a behaviour_n these_o endowment_n through_o god_n kindness_n to_o she_o render_v she_o very_o desirable_a to_o all_o that_o know_v
inlet_n to_o delusive_a fancy_n and_o be_v a_o forerunner_n of_o apostasy_n if_o not_o seasonable_o reduce_v such_o religious_a performance_n go_v out_o like_o the_o snuff_n of_o a_o candle_n it_o be_v not_o enough_o to_o choose_v a_o fit_a time_n but_o you_o must_v allow_v sufficient_a time_n to_o pray_v if_o you_o be_v straighten_a in_o your_o time_n you_o will_v be_v straighten_a in_o your_o prayer_n also_o a_o great_a help_n in_o the_o well-performance_n of_o the_o duty_n of_o secret_a prayer_n be_v to_o take_v pain_n with_o your_o heart_n by_o meditation_n as_o the_o offering_n of_o sweet_a incense_n be_v prepare_v and_o compound_v of_o many_o costly_a material_n exod._n 30.34_o so_o be_v a_o spiritual_a prayer_n not_o rude_o and_o confuse_o but_o deliberate_o advise_o prepare_o and_o very_o particular_o present_v before_o the_o lord_n it_o be_v usual_o from_o want_n of_o preparation_n you_o find_v such_o deadness_n and_o indisposedness_n in_o prayer_n a_o heedful_a and_o deliberate_a read_n of_o the_o holy_a scripture_n before_o prayer_n be_v also_o a_o great_a help_n for_o the_o well-performing_a of_o the_o duty_n a_o far_a help_n in_o the_o duty_n of_o prayer_n be_v to_o have_v right_a conception_n of_o god_n conceive_v of_o he_o as_o he_o be_v and_o as_o he_o have_v reveal_v himself_o in_o his_o word_n to_o be_v a_o omnipresent_v god_n psal_n 139._o that_o he_o be_v real_o though_o not_o visible_o present_a in_o all_o place_n and_o in_o that_o place_n where_o you_o be_v pray_v that_o he_o see_v your_o heart_n whenever_o you_o set_v about_o this_o or_o any_o holy_a duty_n set_v god_n before_o your_o eye_n and_o represent_v he_o under_o the_o notion_n of_o a_o omnipresent_v all-seeing_a god_n conceive_v of_o god_n as_o one_o full_a of_o majesty_n and_o greatness_n infinite_o above_o any_o of_o his_o creature_n this_o apprehension_n may_v much_o both_o quicken_v we_o and_o awe_v we_o in_o prayer_n conceive_v of_o god_n as_o one_o that_o be_v exceed_o gracious_a and_o plenteous_a in_o mercy_n to_o all_o that_o call_v upon_o he_o to_o apprehend_v god_n in_o his_o greatness_n do_v stir_v up_o fear_n and_o godly_a reverence_n to_o apprehend_v god_n in_o his_o goodness_n do_v stir_v up_o faith_n and_o holy_a boldness_n conceive_v of_o god_n in_o prayer_n as_o one_o god_n not_o divide_v in_o essence_n yet_o distinguish_v into_o three_o person_n the_o father_n the_o son_n and_o spirit_n all_o concur_v to_o the_o prayer_n of_o believer_n and_o have_v a_o different_a office_n about_o they_o there_o be_v the_o father_n hear_v the_o son_n intercede_v the_o spirit_n help_v our_o infirmity_n conceive_v of_o god_n not_o absolute_o but_o in_o christ_n god_n in_o himself_o be_v a_o consume_a fire_n heb._n 12._o but_o in_o christ_n he_o be_v a_o merciful_a father_n there_o be_v no_o come_n unto_o god_n but_o by_o jesus_n christ_n heb._n 7.25_o entertain_v and_o maintain_v very_o honourable_a thought_n of_o the_o duty_n of_o prayer_n itself_o this_o will_n both_o move_v you_o to_o the_o duty_n and_o much_o quicken_v you_o in_o the_o duty_n what_o the_o psalmist_n say_v of_o the_o city_n of_o god_n psal_n 87.3_o that_o may_v be_v say_v of_o the_o duty_n of_o prayer_n great_a and_o glorious_a thing_n be_v speak_v of_o it_o you_o may_v read_v of_o wonderful_a effect_n of_o faith_n the_o effect_n and_o fruit_n of_o prayer_n be_v as_o many_o and_o great_a heb._n 11._o it_o have_v obtain_v promise_n subdue_v kingdom_n turn_v away_o enemy_n it_o have_v raise_v the_o dead_a stop_v the_o sun_n course_n yea_o make_v it_o go_v back_o it_o have_v open_v prison-door_n and_o unlock_v secret_n it_o have_v open_v heaven_n and_o shut_v it_o again_o with_o much_o reverence_n be_v it_o speak_v it_o have_v lay_v hold_n upon_o god_n himself_o and_o put_v he_o to_o a_o merciful_a retreat_n when_o he_o have_v be_v march_v in_o anger_n against_o person_n or_o people_n god_n speak_v as_o if_o his_o hand_n be_v hold_v and_o tie_v up_o by_o prayer_n let_v i_o go_v say_v he_o to_o jacob_n and_o let_v i_o alone_o say_v he_o to_o moses_n as_o if_o the_o lord_n will_v indent_v with_o moses_n and_o offer_v he_o a_o composition_n to_o hold_v his_o peace_n exod._n 32.10_o wonderful_a be_v that_o passage_n isa_n 45.11_o if_o read_v right_a god_n say_v concern_v the_o work_n of_o my_o hand_n command_v you_o i_o the_o prevalency_n of_o fervent_a prayer_n be_v very_o great_a it_o prevail_v much_o with_o god_n jam._n 5.15_o 16._o keep_v your_o heart_n close_o to_o the_o duty_n and_o suffer_v they_o not_o to_o stray_v or_o wander_v a_o stray_a heart_n must_v needs_o be_v a_o straighten_a heart_n in_o prayer_n if_o you_o will_v have_v your_o heart_n enliven_v and_o enlarge_v in_o prayer_n remember_v to_o repel_v every_o vain_a thought_n that_o come_v in_o to_o your_o disturbance_n resist_v it_o and_o call_v in_o help_n from_o heaven_n against_o it_o let_v the_o guilt_n of_o no_o one_o sin_n lie_v upon_o your_o conscience_n that_o will_v clog_v disquiet_a and_o check_v your_o spirit_n in_o prayer_n it_o be_v not_o amiss_o to_o observe_v a_o method_n in_o prayer_n especial_o when_o you_o pray_v with_o other_o as_o she_o will_v sometime_o do_v when_o both_o myself_o and_o curate_n be_v absent_a rather_o than_o family-worship_n shall_v be_v whole_o omit_v though_o not_o tie_v to_o word_n but_o confuse_a repetition_n and_o disorderly_a digression_n dis-affect_a those_o that_o join_v with_o you_o though_o some_o profane_a scorner_n may_v mock_v and_o snear_o at_o this_o what_o real_a evil_a scorn-worthy_a be_v there_o in_o it_o for_o a_o serious_a holy_a mother_n to_o instruct_v her_o daughter_n aforehand_o to_o pray_v with_o their_o maid_n and_o child_n if_o god_n have_v spare_v they_o and_o give_v they_o those_o relation_n i_o wish_v no_o mother_n will_v give_v their_o child_n counsel_n or_o example_n more_o liable_a to_o exception_n choose_v such_o a_o place_n to_o pray_v in_o as_o be_v most_o convenient_a where_o you_o may_v not_o be_v disturb_v by_o noise_n in_o your_o ear_n nor_o be_v divert_v by_o any_o object_n before_o your_o eye_n shut_v also_o the_o door_n lest_o the_o wind_n of_o vainglory_n get_v in_o thereat_o mat._n 6.5_o 6._o be_v much_o in_o the_o use_n of_o ejaculatory_a prayer_n which_o be_v a_o short_a yet_o serious_a lift_v up_o the_o soul_n in_o desire_n to_o god_n gen._n 43.14_o 49.18_o neh._n 2.4_o 2_o sam._n 15.31_o luk._n 23.42_o john_n 12.27_o ejaculatory_a prayer_n be_v a_o special_a mean_n to_o keep_v our_o heart_n very_o spiritual_a and_o savoury_a when_o often_o in_o heaven_n it_o be_v a_o special_a mean_n to_o fit_v they_o for_o more_o solemn_a and_o continue_a prayer_n you_o may_v find_v this_o way_n of_o pray_v very_o familiar_a with_o the_o best_a of_o man_n yea_o with_o christ_n himself_o also_o remember_v to_o set_v their_o example_n before_o your_o eye_n who_o have_v perform_v the_o duty_n of_o prayer_n with_o life-enlargement_n and_o importunity_n see_v gen._n 32.24_o matth._n 26.26.39_o heb._n 5.7_o hos_fw-la 12.3_o example_n sway_v we_o sometime_o more_o than_o any_o rule_n or_o precept_n for_o far_a encouragement_n to_o this_o duty_n of_o prayer_n consult_v with_o many_o other_o promise_v that_o of_o our_o saviour_n where_o he_o say_v matth._n 21.22_o whatever_o you_o ask_v in_o prayer_n believe_v you_o shall_v receive_v and_o in_o john_n 14.13_o 14._o whatsoever_o you_o shall_v ask_v in_o my_o name_n i_o will_v do_v it_o if_o you_o shall_v ask_v any_o thing_n in_o my_o name_n i_o will_v do_v it_o and_o matth._n 7.7_o 8._o ask_v and_o it_o shall_v be_v give_v you_o seek_v and_o you_o shall_v find_v knock_v and_o it_o shall_v be_v open_v unto_o you_o for_o every_o one_o that_o ask_v receive_v and_o he_o that_o seek_v find_v and_o to_o he_o that_o knock_v it_o shall_v be_v open_v call_v upon_o i_o and_o i_o will_v answer_v thou_o and_o show_v thou_o great_a and_o mighty_a thing_n which_o thou_o know_v not_o jer._n 33.3_o jam._n 5.15_o the_o prayer_n of_o faith_n shall_v save_v the_o sick_a and_o the_o lord_n shall_v raise_v he_o up_o and_o if_o he_o have_v commit_v sin_n they_o shall_v be_v forgive_v he_o the_o effectual_a fervent_a prayer_n of_o a_o righteous_a man_n avail_v much_o whosoever_o shall_v call_v upon_o the_o name_n of_o the_o lord_n shall_v be_v save_v rom._n 10.3_o if_o any_o man_n want_v wisdom_n let_v he_o ask_v of_o god_n who_o give_v to_o all_o man_n liberal_o and_o upbraid_v not_o and_o it_o shall_v be_v give_v he_o but_o let_v he_o ask_v in_o faith_n nothing_o waver_v for_o he_o that_o waver_v be_v like_o a_o wave_n of_o the_o sea_n drive_v with_o the_o wind_n and_o toss_v thus_o she_o conclude_v it_o may_v seem_v somewhat_o abrupt_o i_o can_v give_v no_o reason_n and_o will_v not_o guess_v only_o the_o
introduction_n pag._n 3_o sect_n i._o of_o her_o birth_n and_o parentage_n pag._n 5_o a_o account_n of_o her_o book_n out_o of_o which_o most_o be_v transcribe_v concern_v ourselves_o and_o child_n time_n and_o place_n of_o her_o birth_n pag._n 9_o her_o parent_n her_o father_n be_v early_a prudence_n and_o a_o strange_a overrule_a providence_n which_o bring_v he_o to_o be_v a_o citizen_n which_o be_v the_o spring_n and_o occasion_n of_o many_o consequent_a mercy_n to_o she_o and_o other_o pag._n 10_o the_o tenderness_n of_o her_o spirit_n when_o a_o child_n pag._n 13_o a_o great_a fault_n she_o be_v guilty_a of_o when_o young_a which_o be_v turn_v to_o her_o benefit_n in_o future_a caution_n pag._n 14_o her_o father_n be_v great_a care_n of_o she_o and_o confidence_n in_o she_o pag._n 15_o sect_n ii_o how_o she_o be_v first_o awaken_v to_o a_o deep_a sense_n of_o religion_n by_o temptation_n pag._n 17_o the_o first_o onset_n by_o a_o blasphemous_a suggestion_n pag._n 18_o how_o she_o overcome_v the_o temptation_n to_o atheism_n pag._n 19_o her_o long_o struggle_v with_o temptation_n and_o the_o first_o glimpse_n of_o comfort_n pag._n 20_o keep_v half_a a_o year_n by_o it_o without_o sleep_n or_o very_o little_a pag._n 22_o mean_n of_o her_o recovery_n and_o some_o gradual_a relief_n of_o which_o she_o have_v a_o excellent_a passage_n pag._n 24_o yet_o she_o suffer_v renew_v onset_n pag._n 25_o sect_n iii_o of_o our_o marriage_n remarkable_a passage_n concern_v it_o pag._n 27_o sect_n iv_o her_o life_n in_o concise_a epitome_n pag._n 30_o sect_n v._o how_o she_o spend_v a_o day_n pag._n 32_o rose_n constant_o at_o four_o of_o the_o clock_n spend_v two_o hour_n with_o god_n in_o secret_a a_o account_n of_o the_o rest_n till_o bedtime_n pag._n 41_o sect_n vii_o for_o the_o number_n six_o be_v omit_v by_o the_o printer_n how_o she_o spend_v a_o week_n ibid._n her_o exact_a circumspection_n in_o sanctify_v the_o lord_n day_n her_o whole_a method_n in_o it_o to_z page_z 44_o monday_n morning_n prayer_n for_o the_o church_n of_o god_n which_o she_o constant_o observe_v with_o great_a zeal_n and_o charity_n both_o for_o all_o the_o foreign_a church_n and_o our_o own_o for_o many_o year_n ever_o after_o she_o have_v be_v inform_v of_o that_o commendable_a custom_n set_v up_o in_o so_o many_o family_n quite_o through_o the_o nation_n ibid._n constant_o spend_v friday_n the_o passion-day_n in_o fast_v and_o prayer_n or_o if_o she_o foresee_v diversion_n unavoidable_a on_o that_o day_n choose_v one_o before_o it_o pag._n 48_o sect_n viii_o how_o she_o spend_v a_o year_n where_o be_v set_v down_o the_o head_n of_o the_o follow_a section_n pag._n 49_o sect_n ix_o her_o character_n as_o a_o wife_n pag._n 51_o in_o time_n of_o health_n to_o page_n 55_o in_o time_n of_o be_v sick_a to_o page_n 61_o sect_n x._o of_o her_o lyings-in_a in_o child-bearing_a ibid._n sect_n xi_o of_o the_o baptise_v our_o child_n her_o very_a commendable_a practice_n on_o that_o occasion_n pag._n 64_o sect_n xii_o her_o care_n of_o the_o education_n of_o her_o child_n pag._n 66_o to_o pag._n 82_o i_o give_v no_o touch_n at_o the_o particular_n of_o this_o long_a section_n because_o i_o arnest_o recommend_v the_o read_n of_o the_o whole_a often_o over_o as_o be_v very_o exemplary_a and_o useful_a sect_n xiii_o of_o monthly_a sacrament_n her_o constant_a communicate_v and_o serious_a preparation_n pag._n 82_o sect_n fourteen_o of_o her_o write_n pag._n 84_o sect_n xv._o discreet_a management_n of_o her_o family_n pag._n 86_o sect_n xvi_o visitation_n by_o sickness_n on_o ourselves_o or_o some_o of_o our_o child_n pag._n 92_o to_o pag._n 115_o this_o be_v so_o large_a and_o have_v so_o many_o exemplary_a passage_n of_o indefatigable_a watch_n fervent_a prayer_n gracious_a answer_n humble_a submission_n to_o god_n that_o i_o leave_v they_o to_o the_o reader_n be_v own_o observation_n sect_n xvii_o renew_a assault_n of_o her_o enemy_n by_o temptation_n pag._n 115_o the_o usual_a season_n of_o which_o be_v indisposition_n of_o mind_n by_o sorrow_n or_o of_o body_n by_o sickness_n pag._n 116_o her_o method_n of_o resist_a 1._o conference_n with_o experience_a christian_n 2._o read_v suitable_a book_n 3._o enter_v her_o solemn_a protest_n against_o they_o under_o her_o hand_n in_o appeal_n to_o god_n which_o you_o find_v page_n 119._o with_o this_o title_n in_o time_n of_o temptation_n write_v by_o i_o elizabeth_n walker_n follow_v with_o a_o most_o devout_a pathetic_a prayer_n sect_n xviii_o friend_n she_o use_v to_o pray_v for_o by_o name_n and_o the_o form_n of_o prayer_n in_o which_o pag._n 123_o i_o name_v those_o in_o the_o body_n of_o the_o prayer_n but_o omit_v to_o name_v they_o in_o the_o margin_n above_o thirty_o head_n of_o family_n not_o be_v set_v down_o in_o order_n according_a to_o their_o quality_n sect_n xix_o some_o try_v calamity_n on_o the_o nation_n on_o friend_n or_o family_n and_o signal_n deliverance_n from_o danger_n pag._n 126_o the_o great_a plague_n and_o the_o number_n that_o die_v ibid._n the_o fire_n the_o number_n of_o church_n and_o house_n burn_v pag._n 127_o other_o affliction_n on_o particular_a friend_n pag._n 12â—_n on_o ourselves_o pag._n 129_o to_o pag._n 13â—_n sect_n xx._n of_o our_o go_v to_o tunbridge-well_n ibid._n my_o reason_n of_o write_v on_o it_o how_o she_o make_v that_o placâ—_n of_o divertisement_n and_o hurry_n a_o place_n of_o retirement_n anâ—_n vacancy_n to_o devotion_n to_o pag._n 14â—_n sect_n xxi_o of_o keep_v our_o wedding-day_n and_o entertainment_n of_o our_o friend_n ibid._n sect_n xxii_o of_o the_o marriage_n of_o our_o only_a daughter_n and_o her_o death_n in_o childbirth_n the_o same_o year_n yet_o leave_v a_o son_n pag._n 148._o it_o be_v no_o wonder_n she_o write_v so_o much_o of_o heâ—_n own_o who_o use_v not_o to_o pass_v by_o what_o concern_v other_o 〈◊〉_d the_o lady_n mary_n rich_a and_o the_o lady_n essex_n rich_a theâ—â—_n marriage_n with_o a_o devout_a prayer_n for_o each_o pag._n 149._o thâ—â—_n be_v a_o large_a section_n most_o transcribe_v from_o her_o own_o paper_n full_a of_o most_o excellent_a devotion_n and_o humble_a submission_n to_o god_n smarty_a blow_n to_o pag._n 161._o and_o then_o 〈◊〉_d most_o pathetic_a tenderness_n to_o the_o dear_a child_n pag._n 16â—_n sect_n xxiii_o act_n and_o kind_n of_o her_o great_a charity_n ibid._n a_o account_n how_o it_o may_v be_v call_v her_o charity_n though_o she_o be_v a_o wife_n and_o great_a charity_n by_o which_o shâ—_n give_v though_o all_o she_o have_v to_o give_v be_v in_o truth_n but_o little_a i_o allow_v she_o what_o my_o small_a estate_n will_v afford_v all_o she_o give_v of_o that_o be_v proper_o her_o own_o charity_n and_o i_o also_o in_o several_a respect_n may_v proper_o be_v call_v she_o to_o pag._n 171._o she_o give_v considerable_o more_o every_a year_n out_o of_o her_o allowance_n than_o she_o spend_v upon_o herself_o she_o will_v buy_v cloth_n from_o london_n by_o the_o whole_a piece_n to_o cloth_n the_o poor_a cause_n strong_a linsey-woolsey_n to_o be_v make_v to_o give_v away_o employ_v the_o poor_a who_o want_v work_n never_o buy_v any_o thing_n too_o cheap_a of_o the_o poor_a people_n etc._n etc._n be_v bountiful_a to_o her_o poor_a relation_n pag._n 175_o yet_o never_o reproach_v herself_o or_o i_o by_o a_o sordid_a garb_n but_o secure_v she_o own_o decency_n with_o great_a prudence_n while_o she_o relieve_v the_o poor_a with_o great_a charity_n pag._n 176_o her_o charity_n in_o pain_n be_v next_o to_o that_o of_o her_o purse_n in_o get_v and_o use_v her_o skill_n in_o physic_n and_o chirurgery_n and_o woman_n labour_v with_o child_n pag._n 180_o her_o forgive_a charity_n pag._n 181_o her_o moderation_n towards_o they_o who_o be_v not_o of_o the_o same_o communion_n pag._n 182_o to_o pag._n 185_o sect_n xxiv_o of_o her_o care_n to_o promote_v god_n glory_n and_o the_o salvation_n of_o soul_n pag._n 185_o sect_n xxv_o several_a grace_n in_o which_o she_o be_v most_o eminent_a pag._n 188._o knowledge_n faith_n charity_n patience_n sympathy_n with_o other_o pity_v to_o the_o poor_a repentance_n reverential_n fear_v of_o god_n love_n obedience_n sincerity_n modesty_n courage_n meekness_n contentedness_n thankfulness_n tenderness_n of_o conscience_n improvement_n of_o time_n zeal_n humility_n from_o pag._n 188_o to_o pag._n 209_o her_o sickness_n and_o death_n pag._n 210_o the_o appendix_n pag._n 232_o direction_n to_o her_o child_n concern_v prayer_n pag._n 214_o to_o pag._n 223_o some_o head_n of_o prayer_n form_v according_a to_o those_o direction_n pag._n 224_o mark_n of_o a_o regenerate_v estate_n pag._n 229_o to_o pag._n 233_o a_o consolatory_a letter_n write_v to_o the_o right_n honourable_a isabel_n countess_n of_o radnor_n upon_o the_o surprise_v death_n of_o her_o dearly-beloved_n daughter_n the_o
other_o bless_a be_v my_o gracious_a god_n for_o his_o great_a kindness_n to_o i_o in_o they_o both_o after_o three_o year_n continuance_n in_o that_o family_n upon_o the_o death_n of_o dr._n read_v my_o lord_n present_v my_o dear_a to_o fyfield_n in_o essex_n a_o competent_a good_a live_n and_o subsistence_n bless_a be_v god_n for_o it_o good_a lord_n crown_v his_o ministry_n there_o with_o the_o success_n of_o the_o conversion_n and_o bring_v in_o their_o soul_n to_o the_o obedience_n and_o knowledge_n of_o jesus_n christ_n give_v he_o abundance_n of_o the_o grace_n of_o thy_o holy_a spirit_n and_o store_v his_o heart_n with_o the_o treasury_n of_o thy_o heavenly_a truth_n and_o continue_v my_o dear_a husband_n a_o faithful_a painful_a able_a labourer_n in_o thy_o vineyard_n if_o what_o i_o have_v thus_o far_o touch_v may_v savour_v of_o any_o vanity_n the_o modesty_n of_o what_o i_o have_v pass_v over_o may_v excuse_v the_o error_n at_o least_o to_o they_o who_o may_v see_v the_o original_a manuscript_n now_o to_o return_v to_o she_o of_o who_o i_o write_v she_o proceed_v i_o be_v bear_v at_o london_n in_o bucklersbury_n on_o thursday_n the_o 12_o of_o july_n in_o the_o year_n of_o our_o lord_n 1623._o and_o baptise_a the_o 20_o day_n of_o the_o same_o month._n the_o lord_n vouchsafe_v i_o a_o reception_n into_o the_o visible_a church_n of_o jesus_n christ_n when_o he_o most_o just_o may_v have_v suffer_v no_o eye_n to_o pity_v i_o but_o have_v cast_v i_o out_o to_o the_o loathe_n of_o my_o person_n in_o my_o original_a defilement_n and_o stain_n of_o my_o sinful_a nature_n but_o to_o my_o first_o admittance_n good_a lord_n enable_v i_o to_o ascend_v that_o be_v a_o member_n of_o thy_o church_n militant_a here_o on_o earth_n i_o may_v attain_v to_o be_v one_o of_o thy_o church_n triumphant_a in_o heaven_n my_o dear_a father_n be_v mr._n john_n sadler_n a_o very_a eminent_a citizen_n and_o of_o a_o most_o generous_a love_a and_o charitable_a disposition_n and_o a_o most_o tender_a father_n to_o i_o and_o a_o kind_a father-in-law_n to_o my_o husband_n he_o be_v bear_v at_o stratford_n upon_o avon_n in_o warwickshire_n where_o his_o ancestor_n live_v my_o grandfather_n have_v a_o good_a estate_n in_o and_o about_o the_o town_n he_o be_v of_o a_o free_a and_o noble_a spirit_n which_o somewhat_o outreach_v his_o estate_n but_o not_o give_v to_o any_o debauchery_n i_o ever_o hear_v of_o my_o father_n mother_n be_v a_o very_a wise_a pious_a and_o a_o good_a woman_n and_o live_v and_o die_v a_o good_a christian_n my_o father_n have_v no_o brother_n but_o three_o sister_n who_o be_v all_o eminent_o wise_a and_o good_a woman_n especial_o his_o young_a sister_n who_o marry_v my_o father_n partner_n in_o trade_n a_o religious_a good_a man._n in_o process_n of_o time_n my_o father_n be_v desire_v to_o change_v his_o single_a estate_n according_o a_o match_n be_v provide_v for_o he_o but_o he_o by_o god_n providence_n approve_v not_o of_o it_o his_o father_n then_o provide_v he_o good_a clothes_n good_a horse_n and_o money_n in_o his_o purse_n and_o send_v he_o to_o make_v his_o address_n to_o a_o gentlewoman_n in_o that_o country_n but_o he_o consider_v well_o how_o difficult_a a_o marry_a condition_n be_v like_a to_o prove_v his_o father_n have_v reduce_v his_o estate_n from_o about_o 400_o l._n a_o year_n to_o 80._o his_o own_o prudence_n but_o especial_o god_n good_a providence_n overrule_a his_o mind_n instead_o of_o go_v a_o woo_v he_o join_v himself_o to_o the_o carrier_n and_o come_v to_o london_n where_o he_o have_v never_o be_v before_o and_o sell_v his_o horse_n in_o smithfield_n and_o have_v no_o acquaintance_n in_o london_n to_o recommend_v he_o or_o assist_v he_o he_o go_v from_o street_n to_o street_n and_o house_n to_o house_n ask_v if_o they_o want_v a_o apprentice_n and_o though_o he_o meet_v with_o many_o discourage_a scorn_n and_o a_o thousand_o denial_n he_o go_v on_o till_o he_o light_v on_o mr._n break_z bank_n a_o grocer_n in_o bucklersbury_n who_o though_o he_o long_o deny_v he_o for_o want_v of_o surety_n for_o his_o fidelity_n and_o because_o the_o money_n he_o have_v but_o ten_o pound_n be_v so_o disproportionable_a to_o what_o he_o use_v to_o receive_v with_o apprentice_n yet_o upon_o his_o discreet_a account_n he_o give_v of_o himself_o and_o the_o motive_n which_o put_v he_o upon_o that_o course_n and_o promise_v to_o compensate_a with_o diligent_a and_o faithful_a service_n what_o ever_o else_o be_v short_a of_o his_o expectation_n he_o venture_v to_o receive_v he_o upon_o trial_n in_o which_o he_o so_o well_o approve_v himself_o that_o he_o accept_v he_o into_o his_o service_n to_o which_o he_o bind_v he_o for_o eight_o year_n to_o which_o he_o willing_o submit_v though_o he_o be_v then_o full_a twentyone_a year_n old_a and_o there_o he_o serve_v a_o faithful_a and_o laborious_a apprenticeship_n but_o much_o like_v of_o his_o master_n and_o mistress_n and_o after_o serve_v he_o five_o year_n journeyman_n they_o not_o be_v willing_a to_o part_v with_o he_o in_o which_o time_n he_o have_v his_o master_n leave_n to_o trade_n for_o himself_o in_o drug_n and_o tobacco_n by_o which_o he_o leave_v grocery_n and_o be_v by_o trade_n a_o druggist_n in_o london_n and_o by_o that_o profession_n god_n bless_v my_o dear_a father_n with_o a_o very_a plentiful_a and_o good_a estate_n with_o which_o god_n give_v he_o a_o bountiful_a mind_n and_o liberal_a heart_n to_o do_v much_o good_a to_o his_o relation_n and_o other_o my_o dear_a mother_n mrs._n elizabeth_n sadler_n be_v the_o daughter_n of_o mr._n dackum_n sometime_o minister_n of_o portsmouth_n also_o my_o grandmother_n dackum_n be_v a_o very_a wise_a and_o prudent_a woman_n in_o my_o infancy_n i_o be_v very_o sickly_a and_o of_o a_o weak_o constitution_n bless_a be_v god_n for_o the_o love_n and_o care_n of_o parent_n and_o friend_n in_o my_o childhood_n estate_n she_o be_v her_o parent_n first_o bear_v after_o five_o year_n marriage_n and_o despair_v of_o have_v child_n which_o render_v they_o exceed_v tender_a of_o she_o and_o yet_o be_v she_o well_o nigh_o starve_v at_o nurse_n at_o lusam_n in_o kent_n for_o though_o her_o parent_n send_v so_o bountiful_o beside_o the_o nurse_n wage_n as_o may_v near_o maintain_v the_o family_n yet_o have_v they_o find_v the_o meat_n they_o send_v ready_a to_o stink_v for_o want_v of_o dress_v in_o my_o full_a age_n i_o be_v of_o a_o pensive_a nature_n god_n see_v it_o good_a that_o i_o shall_v bear_v the_o yoke_n in_o my_o youth_n but_o i_o do_v not_o consider_v the_o hand_n that_o put_v it_o on_o when_o i_o be_v young_a the_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o deliver_v i_o from_o many_o casualty_n after_o name_v they_o she_o always_o conclude_v with_o praise_n bless_v be_v his_o prevent_a mercy_n blessed_n be_v god_n that_o preserve_v i_o in_o that_o danger_n and_o such_o like_a if_o st._n augustin_n confess_v of_o his_o rob_v a_o orchard_n be_v so_o much_o approve_v why_o may_v not_o i_o touch_v so_o small_a a_o thing_n as_o i_o meet_v with_o here_o which_o show_v the_o tenderness_n of_o her_o spirit_n when_o i_o be_v a_o child_n my_o mother_n will_v send_v i_o where_o she_o less_o trust_v my_o sister_n in_o what_o i_o may_v fail_v i_o can_v call_v to_o mind_n but_o i_o remember_v she_o send_v i_o where_o she_o keep_v her_o apple_n they_o suit_v my_o childish_a appetite_n i_o take_v one_o i_o can_v not_o keep_v it_o but_o think_v i_o have_v steal_v it_o i_o go_v back_o unlock_v the_o door_n but_o with_o some_o regret_n lay_v down_o the_o apple_n bless_a be_v restrain_v grace_n but_o i_o must_v pass_v over_o a_o great_a many_o thing_n for_o brevity_n which_o may_v be_v useful_a unto_o other_o and_o be_v very_o pleasant_a to_o myself_o in_o read_v for_o the_o savoury_a sense_n of_o pious_a gratitude_n which_o all_o along_o breath_n in_o they_o yet_o i_o will_v not_o hide_v the_o great_a fault_n i_o ever_o know_v her_o guilty_a of_o in_o my_o own_o observation_n or_o find_v she_o charge_v herself_o with_o either_o in_o her_o book_n or_o diary_n have_v write_v many_o thing_n which_o i_o pass_v by_o and_o last_o concern_v the_o burn_a of_o her_o father_n house_n she_o thus_o proceed_v about_o half_a a_o year_n after_o the_o fire_n which_o be_v when_o she_o be_v about_o thirteen_o or_o fourteen_o year_n old_a my_o father_n have_v a_o great_a fit_a of_o sickness_n which_o hold_v he_o a_o quarter_n of_o a_o year_n and_o in_o great_a danger_n of_o death_n in_o which_o time_n of_o his_o sickness_n i_o poor_a wretched_a creature_n through_o a_o sudden_a surprise_n and_o provocation_n speak_v a_o wicked_a word_n to_o a_o superior_a of_o which_o my_o father_n be_v inform_v and_o most_o
hear_v book_n and_o ballad_n cry_v of_o i_o about_o the_o street_n though_o i_o have_v not_o acquaint_v any_o with_o my_o trouble_n but_o only_a mr._n watson_n my_o father_n sister_n my_o dear_a aunt_n quiney_n a_o gracious_a good_a woman_n take_v notice_n of_o my_o deject_a spirit_n she_o waylay_v i_o in_o my_o come_n home_o from_o the_o morning_n exercise_n then_o in_o our_o parish_n she_o surprise_v i_o with_o a_o inquisitive_a desire_n to_o know_v what_o i_o ail_v but_o i_o not_o ready_o inform_v she_o she_o ask_v i_o if_o i_o be_v not_o trouble_v with_o temptation_n i_o marvel_v at_o the_o question_n and_o then_o acquaint_v she_o with_o my_o affliction_n she_z from_o her_o own_o experience_n in_o the_o like_a case_n advise_v i_o which_o for_o the_o present_a be_v a_o refreshment_n to_o i_o for_o before_o i_o be_v not_o acquaint_v with_o any_o in_o the_o like_a condition_n with_o myself_o some_o little_a time_n after_o my_o dear_a father_n take_v notice_n of_o i_o that_o i_o be_v not_o well_o but_o not_o full_o understand_v what_o i_o ail_v send_v for_o a_o physician_n to_o i_o dr._n bathurst_n who_o i_o hope_v be_v a_o good_a man_n but_o i_o be_v much_o trouble_v at_o his_o come_n though_o i_o know_v my_o father_n send_v for_o he_o in_o his_o great_a care_n and_o love_n to_o i_o the_o physician_n come_v to_o i_o one_o morning_n before_o i_o be_v out_o of_o bed_n he_o perceive_v my_o distemper_n to_o be_v most_o dejectedness_n and_o melancholy_n with_o other_o talk_n he_o discourse_v very_o pious_o with_o i_o i_o take_v the_o freedom_n to_o tell_v he_o i_o think_v i_o do_v not_o need_v a_o physician_n and_o with_o the_o expression_n of_o my_o respect_n desire_v he_o to_o forbear_v come_v to_o i_o which_o the_o good_a man_n do_v not_o take_v ill_a but_o with_o good_a counsel_n leave_v i_o it_o please_v the_o lord_n sometime_o to_o refresh_v i_o with_o those_o word_n of_o the_o psalmist_n why_o be_v thou_o cast_v down_o o_o my_o soul_n and_o why_o be_v thou_o disquiet_v within_o i_o hope_v thou_o in_o god_n for_o thou_o shall_v yet_o praise_v he_o who_o be_v thy_o help_n and_o health_n of_o thy_o countenance_n and_o thy_o god_n how_o sweet_a be_v this_o propriety_n my_o god_n lord_n where_o thou_o give_v thyself_o thou_o give_v all_o and_o thou_o who_o have_v show_v i_o great_a and_o sore_a trouble_n will_v revive_v i_o again_o thou_o have_v bring_v up_o my_o soul_n from_o the_o brink_n of_o hell_n thou_o will_v keep_v i_o alive_a that_o i_o shall_v not_o go_v down_o to_o the_o pit_n of_o destruction_n i_o desire_v to_o go_v from_o home_n into_o the_o country_n to_o some_o private_a good_a family_n where_o i_o have_v no_o acquaintance_n which_o when_o my_o father_n know_v he_o ready_o grant_v my_o request_n my_o good_a aunt_n understand_v my_o mind_n she_o acquaint_v mrs._n watson_n our_o minister_n wife_n a_o good_a woman_n with_o my_o desire_n by_o which_o mean_n i_o go_v to_o her_o father_n mr._n john_n beadle_n a_o honest_a worthy_a good_a man_n he_o be_v minister_n of_o banston_n in_o essex_n my_o dear_a father_n hire_v a_o coaeh_n and_o go_v with_o i_o to_o mr._n beadle_n and_o with_o the_o expression_n of_o his_o tender_a love_n say_v to_o i_o that_o i_o shall_v not_o want_v any_o thing_n to_o do_v i_o good_a to_o the_o one_o half_a of_o his_o estate_n and_o he_o be_v very_o bountiful_a in_o the_o requital_n of_o my_o receipt_n in_o that_o family_n god_n goodness_n to_o be_v acknowledge_v my_o dear_a mother_n then_o be_v very_o kind_a to_o i_o i_o live_v at_o mr._n beadle_n half_a a_o year_n where_o i_o have_v the_o fatherly_a care_n and_o counsel_n and_o prayer_n of_o that_o good_a man_n with_o the_o great_a love_n of_o his_o wife_n a_o very_a good_a woman_n and_o very_o kind_a to_o i_o and_o the_o manifestation_n of_o the_o respect_n and_o care_n of_o their_o child_n and_o servant_n in_o any_o thing_n that_o may_v tend_v to_o my_o satisfaction_n and_o comfort_n the_o lord_n requite_v it_o to_o they_o in_o spiritual_a blessing_n with_o the_o mercy_n of_o this_o life_n in_o my_o continuance_n at_o mr._n beadle_n be_v the_o lord_n afford_v i_o with_o other_o opportunity_n and_o help_n much_o time_n in_o read_v and_o secret_a prayer_n which_o through_o grace_n i_o strive_v to_o improve_v for_o spiritual_a advantage_n and_o humble_o hope_v for_o the_o sake_n and_o merit_n of_o christ_n remain_v upon_o the_o file_n of_o god_n mercy_n for_o full_a return_n of_o grace_n for_o half_a a_o year_n i_o do_v not_o know_v that_o i_o sleep_v if_o i_o do_v it_o be_v very_o little_a and_o yet_o i_o do_v not_o want_v either_o sleep_n or_o health_n bless_a be_v god_n for_o his_o sustain_n and_o support_v arm._n if_o i_o desire_v any_o thing_n that_o be_v grateful_a to_o my_o appetite_n when_o it_o be_v bring_v i_o i_o dare_v not_o make_v use_n of_o it_o because_o i_o think_v it_o to_o be_v the_o satisfaction_n of_o a_o base_a sensual_a appetite_n i_o do_v eat_v very_o spare_o which_o with_o my_o much_o weep_v occasion_v i_o some_o little_a inconvenience_n which_o become_v habitual_a when_o i_o have_v be_v at_o banston_n about_o four_o month_n by_o god_n providence_n for_o i_o mr._n beadle_n exchange_v one_o lord's-day_n with_o mr._n walker_n than_o chaplain_n to_o my_o lord_n of_o warwick_n at_o leez_n the_o first_o time_n i_o see_v my_o dear_a husband_n when_o i_o have_v be_v at_o banston_n half_a a_o year_n my_o father_n write_v to_o i_o as_o to_o my_o come_n home_o to_o which_o i_o be_v inclinable_a though_o my_o father_n give_v i_o my_o liberty_n it_o be_v in_o my_o thought_n that_o i_o be_v without_o natural_a affection_n mr._n watson_n and_o his_o wife_n be_v at_o mr._n beadle_n and_o return_v to_o london_n i_o come_v home_o in_o company_n with_o they_o enjoy_v more_o calm_a of_o spirit_n than_o when_o i_o go_v from_o home_n i_o bless_v god_n my_o trouble_n wear_v off_o more_o gradual_o which_o to_o my_o satisfaction_n i_o desire_v if_o god_n have_v see_v it_o good_a for_o i_o may_v have_v be_v more_o signal_n in_o the_o discovery_n and_o manifestation_n of_o his_o favour_n in_o my_o victory_n and_o conquest_n of_o my_o temptation_n it_o be_v not_o for_o i_o to_o prescribe_v or_o limit_v the_o holy_a one_o of_o israel_n if_o i_o may_v take_v leave_n to_o beg_v and_o wait_v on_o he_o in_o who_o be_v all_o my_o fresh_a spring_n for_o supply_v of_o grace_n and_o comfort_n if_o the_o lord_n will_v give_v to_o i_o his_o unworthy_a creature_n in_o penny_n and_o half_a penny_n what_o in_o big_a sum_n he_o see_v fit_a to_o bestow_v on_o other_o that_o my_o dependence_n may_v be_v continual_o on_o he_o i_o desire_v to_o be_v thankful_a lord_n if_o thou_o will_v not_o subdue_v my_o enemy_n at_o once_o yet_o make_v they_o tributary_n to_o thy_o glory_n and_o my_o spiritual_a advantage_n that_o these_o amorites_n may_v be_v hewer_n of_o wood_n and_o drawer_n of_o water_n useful_a to_o i_o that_o i_o may_v see_v my_o own_o deficiency_n and_o thy_o strength_n in_o my_o 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