everlasting_a life_n this_o very_a word_n whosoever_o do_v work_v so_o kind_o and_o with_o such_o a_o sweet_a efficacy_n upon_o my_o heart_n that_o i_o be_v constrain_v to_o submit_v have_v not_o any_o objection_n against_o it_o for_o it_o comprehend_v all_o sort_n of_o sinner_n although_o never_o so_o great_a yet_o whosoever_o believe_v in_o this_o son_n of_o god_n shall_v enjoy_v such_o a_o sweet_a promise_n no_o less_o than_o eternal_a life_n in_o the_o 16._o verse_n god_n so_o love_v the_o world_n that_o he_o give_v his_o only_a beget_v son_n that_o whosoever_o believe_v in_o he_o shall_v not_o perish_v but_o have_v everlasting_a life_n and_o in_o act_n 10.43_o that_o whosoever_o believe_v in_o he_o shall_v receive_v remission_n of_o sin_n then_o in_o gal._n 2.20_o i_o live_v by_o the_o faith_n of_o the_o son_n of_o god_n who_o love_v i_o and_o give_v himself_o for_o i_o and_o christ_n jesus_n die_v for_o sinner_n of_o who_o i_o be_o chief_a see_v this_o application_n of_o christ_n that_o paul_n make_v in_o particular_a to_o himself_o who_o be_v a_o very_a great_a sinner_n it_o do_v much_o embolden_v i_o in_o the_o like_a rom._n 5.8_o 9_o god_n commend_v his_o love_n towards_o we_o in_o that_o while_o we_o be_v yet_o sinner_n christ_n die_v for_o the_o ungodly_a and_o i_o be_v ungodly_a therefore_o i_o believe_v christ_n dye_v for_o i_o and_o when_o we_o be_v yet_o without_o strength_n in_o due_a time_n christ_n die_v for_o sinner_n i_o be_o a_o sinner_n and_o therefore_o christ_n die_v for_o i_o and_o he_o be_v reconcile_v unto_o we_o while_o we_o be_v enemy_n for_o the_o lord_n to_o be_v thus_o reconcile_v to_o ungodly_a to_o sinner_n to_o enemy_n this_o be_v more_o love_n indeed_o than_o ever_o i_o expect_v especial_o that_o the_o lord_n will_v have_v be_v half_o so_o gracious_a to_o i_o this_o turn_v all_o my_o former_a sorrow_n into_o joy_n cry_v out_o what_o shall_v i_o render_v unto_o the_o lord_n for_o all_o his_o benefit_n that_o he_o have_v bestow_v upon_o i_o for_o what_o be_v i_o or_o any_o of_o my_o father_n house_n that_o the_o lord_n shall_v be_v so_o merciful_a unto_o i_o and_o i_o have_v these_o testimonis_fw-la of_o my_o real_a conversion_n to_o god_n 1._o the_o testimony_n of_o his_o spirit_n adopt_v i_o to_o be_v his_o child_n gal._n 3.4_o 5._o god_n send_v forth_o his_o son_n to_o redeem_v those_o that_o be_v under_o the_o law_n that_o they_o may_v receive_v the_o adoption_n of_o son_n and_o because_o you_o be_v son_n god_n have_v send_v forth_o the_o spirit_n of_o his_o son_n into_o your_o heart_n cry_v abba_n father_n wherefore_o thou_o be_v no_o more_o a_o servant_n but_o a_o son_n i_o be_v once_o under_o the_o law_n dead_a i_o be_o now_o by_o christ_n redeem_v and_o i_o bless_v god_n for_o this_o precious_a privilege_n that_o i_o can_v call_v god_n my_o father_n 2._o christ_n have_v fulfil_v the_o law_n therefore_o i_o shall_v not_o be_v condemn_v by_o the_o law_n but_o justify_v by_o jesus_n christ_n without_o the_o deed_n of_o the_o law_n there_o be_v a_o time_n when_o i_o be_v dead_a in_o sin_n and_o in_o ungodliness_n be_v alienate_v from_o the_o commonwealth_n of_o israel_n and_o a_o stranger_n to_o the_o covenant_n of_o grace_n have_v no_o hope_n and_o without_o god_n in_o the_o world_n but_o be_v make_v alive_a by_o jesus_n christ_n i_o see_v my_o sin_n do_v away_o and_o do_v believe_v that_o christ_n have_v bear_v on_o his_o body_n all_o my_o sin_n he_o be_v bruise_v for_o our_o transgression_n isa_n 53._o and_o the_o lord_n lay_v on_o he_o the_o iniquity_n of_o we_o all_o by_o who_o stripe_n we_o be_v heal_v so_o that_o i_o do_v believe_v that_o by_o one_o offering_n he_o have_v perfect_v for_o ever_o all_o those_o that_o be_v sanctify_v heb._n 10._o and_o that_o christ_n jesus_n be_v become_v a_o full_a and_o perfect_a satisfaction_n for_o my_o sin_n and_o that_o the_o lord_n be_v well_o please_v with_o and_o content_v in_o this_o satisfaction_n mat._n 3._o that_o be_v my_o well-beloved_a son_n in_o who_o i_o be_o well_o please_v 3._o i_o be_o in_o and_o through_o god_n free_a grace_n what_o i_o be_o not_o for_o any_o thing_n in_o i_o or_o that_o i_o can_v do_v but_o as_o in_o titus_n 4.5_o we_o ourselves_o be_v sometime_o foolish_a disobedient_a serve_v divers_a lust_n but_o when_o the_o kindness_n and_o love_n of_o god_n our_o saviour_n appear_v towards_o man_n not_o by_o work_n of_o righteousness_n which_o we_o have_v do_v but_o according_a to_o his_o mercy_n he_o save_v we_o that_o be_v justify_v free_o by_o his_o grace_n we_o shall_v be_v make_v heir_n according_a to_o the_o hope_n of_o eternal_a life_n and_o in_o another_o place_n 1_o tim._n 1.9_o who_o have_v save_v we_o and_o call_v we_o with_o a_o holy_a call_n not_o according_a to_o our_o work_n but_o according_a to_o his_o own_o purpose_n and_o grace_n in_o christ_n jesus_n before_o the_o world_n begin_v therefore_o i_o believe_v that_o god_n the_o father_n love_v i_o in_o jesus_n christ_n 1_o john_n 4.19_o we_o love_v he_o because_o he_o love_v we_o first_o john_n 14.14_o you_o have_v not_o choose_v i_o but_o i_o have_v choose_v you_o that_o you_o shall_v bring_v forth_o much_o fruit_n isa_n 43.25_o ay_o even_o i_o be_o he_o that_o blot_v out_o all_o thy_o transgression_n for_o my_o own_o sake_n and_o will_v not_o remember_v thy_o iniquity_n and_o he_o will_v have_v mercy_n even_o because_o he_o will_v have_v mercy_n the_o blood_n of_o jesus_n christ_n cleanse_v we_o from_o all_o sin_n i_o plain_o see_v it_o be_v the_o lord_n do_n and_o it_o be_v marvellous_a in_o my_o eye_n as_o in_o ephes_n 2._o you_o who_o be_v dead_a in_o trespass_n and_o sin_n have_v he_o quicken_v together_o with_o he_o by_o grace_n you_o be_v save_v and_o that_o not_o of_o yourselves_o it_o be_v the_o gift_n of_o god_n i_o find_v as_o christ_n jesus_n be_v a_o free_a gift_n to_o i_o and_o for_o i_o so_o be_v this_o save_a grace_n of_o faith_n a_o free_a gift_n also_o from_o the_o lord_n to_o my_o soul_n rom._n 3.24_o be_v justify_v free_o by_o his_o grace_n through_o the_o redemption_n that_o be_v in_o christ_n jesus_n to_o declare_v his_o righteousness_n for_o the_o remission_n of_o sin_n that_o he_o may_v be_v just_a and_o the_o justifier_n of_o he_o that_o believe_v in_o jesus_n so_o that_o all_o boast_n of_o the_o creature_n be_v exclude_v by_o the_o law_n of_o faith_n as_o by_o the_o disobedience_n of_o one_o many_o be_v make_v sinner_n so_o by_o the_o obedience_n of_o one_o shall_v many_o be_v make_v righteous_a 4._o i_o believe_v that_o as_o there_o be_v no_o sin_n find_v in_o christ_n and_o yet_o a_o sinner_n by_o imputation_n so_o i_o be_v a_o sinner_n indeed_o shall_v be_v make_v righteous_a by_o god_n imputation_n for_o it_o please_v god_n to_o make_v he_o become_v sin_n for_o we_o who_o know_v no_o sin_n that_o we_o may_v be_v make_v the_o righteousness_n of_o god_n in_o he_o 5._o i_o have_v the_o seal_n of_o the_o spirit_n as_o paul_n say_v the_o spirit_n of_o god_n bear_v witness_n with_o our_o spirit_n that_o we_o be_v the_o child_n of_o god_n and_o if_o child_n than_o heir_n of_o god_n and_o joint_a heir_n with_o christ_n in_o this_o our_o freedom_n 6._o i_o do_v believe_v that_o god_n the_o father_n love_v i_o and_o elect_v i_o for_o the_o son_n to_o redeem_v and_o that_o jesus_n christ_n love_v i_o as_o give_v of_o the_o father_n for_o he_o to_o redeem_v and_o manifest_v it_o to_o i_o and_o the_o holy_a ghost_n love_v i_o as_o elect_v of_o the_o father_n and_o redeem_v by_o the_o son_n and_o do_v evidence_n it_o in_o i_o which_o be_v the_o earnest_n of_o my_o inheritance_n and_o there_o be_v a_o expression_n in_o john_n 3._o last_o he_o that_o believe_v in_o the_o son_n have_v everlasting_a life_n 7._o i_o do_v believe_v that_o i_o have_v everlasting_a life_n already_o in_o possession_n 1._o by_o the_o promise_n fear_v not_o little_a flock_n for_o it_o be_v your_o father_n good_a pleasure_n to_o give_v you_o a_o kingdom_n 2._o in_o the_o first_o fruit_n for_o what_o be_v heaven_n hereafter_o but_o a_o more_o full_a enjoyment_n of_o what_o be_v begin_v here_o what_o we_o receive_v now_o be_v but_o a_o taste_n of_o what_o we_o shall_v receive_v as_o 1_o john_n 4.2_o belove_a now_o be_v we_o the_o son_n of_o god_n and_o it_o do_v not_o yet_o appear_v what_o we_o shall_v be_v but_o we_o know_v that_o when_o we_o shall_v appear_v we_o shall_v be_v like_o he_o for_o we_o shall_v see_v he_o as_o he_o be_v 3._o i_o do_v enjoy_v it_o by_o my_o head_n christ_n who_o have_v take_v full_a possession_n of_o it_o already_o for_o i_o
the_o sense_n of_o sin_n and_o draw_v forth_o my_o heart_n to_o rely_v upon_o he_o i_o believe_v that_o he_o will_v in_o the_o end_n give_v i_o victory_n through_o christ_n and_o isa_n 40.29_o he_o give_v power_n to_o the_o faint_a and_o to_o they_o that_o have_v no_o might_n he_o increase_v strength_n this_o promise_n i_o lay_v hold_v on_o because_o christ_n say_v come_v unto_o i_o all_o you_o that_o labour_n and_o be_v heavy_a lade_v and_o i_o will_v give_v you_o rest_n mat._n 11.28_o when_o i_o have_v refresh_v my_o spirit_n by_o apply_v these_o and_o some_o other_o promise_v to_o my_o own_o soul_n by_o faith_n in_o the_o lord_n jesus_n i_o find_v a_o effect_n of_o my_o faith_n by_o that_o love_n to_o god_n which_o by_o his_o holy_a spirit_n he_o have_v wrought_v in_o my_o soul_n which_o appear_v by_o these_o particular_a evidence_n 1._o i_o be_o grieve_v that_o i_o have_v be_v so_o unbelieving_a towards_o god_n and_o so_o impatient_a in_o my_o affliction_n 2._o i_o be_o trouble_v to_o think_v that_o whilst_o i_o live_v here_o in_o this_o mortal_a flesh_n i_o can_v be_v quite_o free_v from_o sin_n but_o must_v live_v to_o offend_v so_o good_a a_o god_n who_o have_v wrought_v so_o great_a a_o deliverance_n for_o i_o 3._o i_o bless_v the_o lord_n i_o can_v through_o divine_a goodness_n from_o the_o testimony_n of_o the_o bless_a spirit_n say_v with_o comfort_n the_o lord_n be_v my_o god_n whereby_o i_o can_v cry_v abba_n father_n 4._o i_o can_v i_o hope_v willing_o deny_v myself_o in_o all_o thing_n and_o shall_v the_o lord_n call_v i_o to_o it_o take_v up_o the_o cross_n of_o my_o saviour_n jesus_n to_o follow_v he_o and_o bless_v god_n in_o all_o dispensation_n whatsoever_o 5._o i_o find_v a_o total_a desire_n and_o willingness_n in_o my_o heart_n to_o surrender_v myself_o to_o be_v lead_v by_o god_n bless_a spirit_n in_o all_o holiness_n and_o piety_n with_o perseverance_n that_o i_o may_v live_v all_o my_o day_n to_o the_o glory_n of_o my_o god_n 6._o my_o affection_n be_v more_o firm_o and_o real_o knit_v to_o god_n than_o to_o any_o thing_n so_o that_o i_o can_v part_v with_o any_o thing_n for_o god_n and_o i_o value_v my_o interest_n in_o god_n above_o all_o thing_n and_o i_o find_v more_o joy_n in_o he_o than_o in_o all_o thing_n 7._o i_o be_o not_o now_o afraid_a to_o die_v shall_v god_n call_v i_o that_o i_o may_v go_v to_o be_v with_o my_o saviour_n for_o ever_o 8._o i_o desire_v to_o be_v in_o love_n and_o charity_n with_o all_o man_n but_o in_o a_o especial_a manner_n i_o do_v love_n the_o godly_a because_o in_o appearance_n they_o be_v the_o child_n of_o god_n and_o i_o desire_v to_o feed_v upon_o christ_n by_o faith_n in_o his_o ordinance_n m._n w._n xxx_o experience_n of_o h._n c._n at_o the_o beginning_n of_o the_o civil_a war_n i_o as_o well_o as_o other_o be_v much_o fright_v and_o when_o it_o be_v say_v that_o such_o a_o day_n the_o city_n shall_v be_v destroy_v i_o be_v amaze_v i_o have_v be_v a_o hearer_n a_o great_a while_n of_o very_o eminent_a minister_n in_o the_o city_n of_o london_n yet_o profit_v very_o little_a by_o what_o i_o hear_v for_o if_o they_o preach_v the_o mercy_n of_o god_n i_o fear_v they_o do_v not_o belong_v to_o i_o because_o i_o can_v not_o find_v those_o qualification_n in_o i_o which_o i_o think_v i_o ought_v to_o have_v if_o i_o expect_v to_o receive_v mercy_n i_o can_v rejoice_v in_o hear_v of_o the_o promise_n but_o can_v not_o lay_v hold_n on_o they_o as_o belong_v to_o i_o but_o still_o i_o go_v to_o hear_v though_o with_o much_o trouble_n of_o mind_n that_o day_n wherein_o it_o be_v say_v the_o city_n shall_v be_v destroy_v i_o begin_v to_o call_v myself_o to_o account_n what_o will_v become_v of_o my_o soul_n if_o it_o shall_v be_v so_o i_o be_v almost_o amaze_v but_o do_v much_o desire_n of_o god_n that_o he_o will_v give_v i_o faith_n and_o with_o the_o publican_n i_o say_v lord_n i_o believe_v help_v my_o unbelief_n i_o then_o resolve_v with_o myself_o well_o i_o will_v cast_v my_o soul_n into_o the_o arm_n of_o god_n if_o i_o perish_v i_o perish_v and_o through_o belief_n in_o he_o i_o be_v quiet_v in_o my_o spirit_n at_o that_o time_n but_o my_o sense_n of_o peace_n be_v soon_o veil_v and_o i_o be_v afterward_o sore_o afflict_v with_o the_o fight_n of_o my_o sin_n and_o be_v full_o persuade_v that_o i_o be_v a_o hypocrite_n and_o that_o all_o that_o i_o do_v be_v but_o for_o fear_n of_o hell_n than_o dare_v i_o not_o be_v any_o where_o alone_a for_o fear_v of_o the_o sight_n of_o the_o devil_n and_o if_o i_o have_v be_v at_o prayer_n by_o myself_o i_o dare_v not_o open_v my_o eye_n thus_o be_v i_o perplex_v with_o fear_n and_o persuade_v myself_o i_o shall_v perish_v my_o condition_n be_v very_o bitter_a to_o i_o and_o i_o do_v much_o labour_n for_o a_o rest_a place_n for_o my_o soul_n and_o be_v one_o day_n at_o a_o funeral_n the_o minister_n that_o preach_v the_o sermon_n show_v the_o sufficiency_n of_o god_n and_o the_o insufficiency_n of_o man_n and_o that_o all_o good_a come_v from_o god_n he_o say_v that_o it_o be_v as_o possible_a for_o that_o dead_a man_n to_o put_v life_n into_o himself_o as_o for_o any_o man_n to_o gain_v the_o least_o drop_n of_o grace_n of_o himself_o for_o faith_n be_v the_o gift_n of_o god_n then_o i_o begin_v to_o consider_v with_o myself_o and_o to_o take_v notice_n of_o the_o promise_n of_o god_n and_o i_o will_v write_v they_o to_o keep_v they_o about_o i_o i_o then_o be_v a_o hearer_n at_o st._n m._n the_o minister_n be_v much_o upon_o the_o affair_n of_o the_o time_n and_o i_o be_v much_o trouble_v about_o what_o i_o hear_v for_o i_o find_v not_o my_o soul_n satisfy_v with_o that_o matter_n when_o i_o come_v home_o i_o find_v that_o my_o soul_n be_v not_o able_a to_o live_v with_o that_o food_n and_o it_o please_v the_o lord_n to_o direct_v i_o to_o hear_v mr._n sympson_n at_o all-hollows_a thames_n street_n and_o he_o be_v set_v forth_o the_o free_a grace_n of_o god_n to_o poor_a sinner_n and_o then_o i_o begin_v to_o reason_n with_o myself_o that_o sure_o in_o put_v all_o mercy_n from_o i_o i_o do_v dishonour_n god_n for_o he_o invit_v all_o to_o believe_v his_o promise_n and_o i_o read_v that_o he_o say_v as_o i_o live_v i_o desire_v not_o the_o death_n of_o a_o sinner_n and_o christ_n say_v he_o come_v to_o save_v sinner_n and_o that_o the_o whole_a need_v not_o a_o physician_n but_o those_o that_o be_v sick_a and_o god_n have_v promise_v not_o to_o break_v the_o bruise_a reed_n nor_o quench_v the_o smoke_a flax_n and_o christ_n die_v for_o the_o ungodly_a and_o god_n be_v no_o respecter_n of_o person_n and_o christ_n promise_v that_o whosoever_o come_v unto_o he_o he_o will_v in_o no_o wise_a cast_v off_o when_o i_o have_v consider_v these_o and_o other_o promise_n and_o that_o place_n where_o it_o be_v say_v that_o without_o faith_n it_o be_v impossible_a to_o please_v god_n than_o i_o be_v earnest_a with_o god_n that_o he_o will_v give_v i_o faith_n and_o sincerity_n of_o heart_n and_o that_o place_n do_v much_o refresh_v i_o i_o will_v never_o leave_v thou_o nor_o forsake_v thou_o yet_o again_o after_o all_o this_o the_o sense_n of_o my_o own_o unworthiness_n do_v much_o trouble_v i_o and_o i_o be_v great_o grieve_v that_o i_o be_v so_o cumber_v in_o the_o world_n and_o begin_v to_o doubt_v say_v sure_o i_o have_v not_o choose_v the_o better_a part_n for_o sometime_o i_o shall_v rejoice_v and_o praise_n god_n be_v much_o satisfy_v from_o those_o place_n of_o scripture_n which_o say_v he_o have_v lay_v our_o iniquity_n on_o he_o and_o he_o have_v lay_v help_n on_o he_o that_o be_v mighty_a and_o in_o another_o place_n you_o be_v save_v by_o grace_n not_o of_o yourselves_o it_o be_v the_o gift_n of_o god_n and_o we_o have_v a_o advocate_n with_o the_o father_n even_o jesus_n christ_n the_o righteous_a and_o he_o be_v make_v sin_n for_o we_o that_o keew_v no_o sin_n that_o we_o may_v be_v make_v the_o righteousness_n of_o god_n in_o he_o and_o behold_v the_o lamb_n of_o god_n that_o take_v away_o the_o sin_n of_o the_o world_n but_o in_o a_o short_a time_n i_o shall_v lose_v all_o my_o sense_n of_o comfort_n and_o than_o i_o have_v sad_a thought_n muse_v what_o god_n will_v do_v with_o i_o in_o the_o depth_n of_o these_o conflict_n at_o last_o that_o place_n refresh_v i_o where_o god_n say_v i_o the_o lord_n change_v not_o therefore_o you_o son_n of_o jacob_n be_v not_o consume_v though_o before_o i_o be_v not_o satisfy_v that_o
the_o shape_n of_o it_o i_o declare_v unto_o they_o as_o before_o and_o they_o tell_v i_o that_o it_o be_v jesus_n christ_n that_o have_v appear_v in_o the_o shape_n of_o a_o child_n and_o that_o he_o have_v overcome_v death_n and_o hell_n for_o i_o then_o i_o cry_v out_o and_o say_v bless_a be_v jesus_n christ_n for_o evermore_o and_o do_v entreat_v those_o people_n that_o be_v there_o with_o my_o father_n that_o they_o will_v go_v to_o prayer_n for_o i_o that_o those_o comfortable_a revelation_n which_o i_o have_v see_v and_o my_o faith_n in_o christ_n may_v never_o depart_v from_o i_o yet_o for_o three_o year_n after_o i_o have_v many_o ebbing_n and_o flow_n and_o much_o fear_v possess_v i_o so_o that_o satan_n will_v tell_v i_o i_o be_v more_o afraid_a of_o hell_n than_o of_o offend_a god_n but_o i_o bold_o sit_v up_o in_o my_o bed_n and_o tell_v satan_n he_o be_v a_o liar_n and_o that_o i_o will_v rather_o be_v damn_v than_o deny_v jesus_n christ_n and_o so_o christ_n do_v appear_v very_o comfortable_o to_o i_o and_o have_v and_o do_v deliver_v i_o out_o of_o many_o trouble_v very_o often_o and_o how_o to_o speak_v of_o they_o i_o know_v no_o end_n yet_o satan_n like_o a_o cunning_a sophister_n have_v be_v tamper_n with_o i_o to_o despair_v of_o christ_n but_o it_o please_v the_o lord_n to_o bring_v many_o promise_n into_o my_o mind_n and_o the_o example_n also_o of_o mary_n magdalen_n and_o of_o the_o woman_n of_o canaan_n believe_v that_o as_o jesus_n christ_n be_v gracious_a to_o they_o so_o he_o will_v also_o be_v to_o i_o and_o christ_n have_v often_o time_n reveal_v unto_o i_o that_o his_o grace_n be_v sufficient_a for_o i_o as_o he_o say_v unto_o paul_n i_o can_v speak_v but_o little_a of_o jesus_n christ_n but_o yet_o i_o be_o full_o persuade_v in_o my_o soul_n that_o i_o shall_v think_v myself_o very_o happy_a even_o to_o give_v my_o life_n for_o the_o glory_n and_o honour_n of_o his_o name_n if_o the_o lord_n will_v count_v i_o but_o worthy_a of_o such_o a_o favour_n and_o i_o will_v not_o for_o all_o the_o kingdom_n in_o the_o world_n and_o the_o pomp_n thereof_o be_v in_o such_o a_o condition_n again_o and_o now_o my_o soul_n do_v desire_v to_o give_v up_o itself_o unto_o god_n and_o to_o walk_v in_o the_o strict_a course_n that_o his_o word_n do_v prescribe_v e._n r._n xii_o experience_n of_o t._n m._n about_o the_o fourteen_o year_n of_o my_o age_n i_o be_v put_v out_o to_o be_v a_o aprentice_n but_o be_v place_v with_o a_o master_n in_o who_o i_o see_v little_a of_o god_n his_o way_n be_v contrary_a to_o the_o way_n of_o god_n which_o be_v a_o great_a trouble_n to_o my_o spirit_n and_o the_o more_o because_o some_o rude_a people_n drink_v swear_v and_o be_v very_a debauch_a with_o he_o three_o or_o four_o year_n after_o there_o grow_v great_a dispute_n among_o some_o person_n about_o episcopacy_n presbytery_n independency_n and_o the_o like_a which_o make_v i_o question_n with_o my_o own_o thought_n which_o be_v the_o true_a way_n to_o worship_n god_n i_o apply_v myself_o to_o mr._n t._n the_o minister_n and_o other_o yet_o be_v not_o satisfy_v but_o after_o great_a perplexity_n of_o spirit_n i_o meditate_a with_o myself_o and_o wonder_v what_o will_v be_v the_o end_n of_o my_o trouble_n for_o they_o have_v be_v many_o especial_o temptation_n to_o despair_v of_o salvation_n but_o afterward_o be_v return_v back_o from_o my_o master_n to_o my_o father_n house_n lie_v down_o once_o upon_o a_o bench_n i_o fall_v asleep_a and_o dream_v that_o i_o be_v in_o a_o green_a meadow_n where_o i_o see_v various_a form_n of_o creature_n some_o furious_a other_o very_a please_a yet_o all_o of_o they_o seem_v monstruous_a and_o change_v their_o shape_n often_o and_o behold_v myself_o alone_a in_o the_o midst_n of_o they_o i_o be_v grievous_o trouble_v and_o then_o there_o seem_v to_o appear_v a_o great_a red_a dragon_n before_o it_o come_v at_o i_o i_o think_v a_o little_a child_n be_v put_v in_o my_o arm_n which_o be_v so_o beautiful_a and_o comely_a that_o i_o admire_v it_o and_o be_v so_o take_v with_o behold_v it_o that_o it_o put_v the_o fear_n of_o the_o dragon_n for_o the_o present_a out_o of_o mind_n but_o the_o dragon_n afterward_o draw_v near_o and_o sore_o affright_v i_o but_o both_o myself_o and_o the_o child_n be_v take_v away_o and_o carry_v up_o a_o hill_n and_o the_o dragon_n pursue_v we_o and_o be_v often_o ready_a to_o fall_v in_o run_v up_o the_o hill_n i_o fear_v that_o the_o dragon_n will_v catch_v i_o but_o my_o strength_n be_v come_v to_o i_o i_o get_v up_o to_o the_o top_n of_o the_o hill_n and_o the_o dragon_n make_v up_o after_o i_o when_o i_o be_v get_v up_o to_o the_o top_n there_o appear_v a_o brightness_n from_o heaven_n which_o gush_v forth_o like_o a_o stash_n of_o lightning_n and_o split_v the_o dragon_n in_o piece_n at_o which_o i_o rejoice_v exceed_o then_o the_o child_n be_v put_v into_o my_o arm_n again_o and_o i_o ask_v it_o what_o be_v its_o name_n it_o iay_v emanuel_n i_o ask_v who_o be_v its_o father_n it_o say_v i_o be_o i_o ask_v who_o be_v its_o mother_n it_o say_v eternity_n i_o ask_v from_o whence_o he_o come_v he_o say_v from_o my_o father_n out_o of_o heaven_n i_o ask_v to_o who_o he_o come_v and_o what_o be_v his_o errand_n here_o he_o say_v to_o save_v that_o which_o be_v lose_v and_o return_v again_o i_o ask_v he_o if_o he_o will_v dwell_v with_o i_o while_o he_o stay_v he_o say_v he_o can_v not_o be_v detain_v according_a to_o that_o frame_n and_o figure_n he_o be_v in_o but_o after_o death_n he_o will_v dwell_v with_o i_o in_o another_o frame_n the_o thought_n of_o death_n grieve_v i_o but_o the_o child_n bid_v i_o not_o to_o weep_v at_o it_o for_o in_o this_o world_n that_o which_o be_v beauty_n must_v be_v destroy_v and_o that_o which_o be_v contemptible_a must_v be_v exalt_v i_o than_o see_v myself_o very_o contemptible_a and_o poor_a and_o trouble_v and_o in_o these_o thought_n the_o child_n be_v take_v away_o from_o i_o then_o my_o father_n come_v into_o the_o room_n make_v a_o noise_n whereat_o i_o awake_v much_o distract_v and_o trouble_v in_o my_o thought_n and_o so_o perplex_v that_o i_o know_v not_o what_o to_o do_v and_o the_o more_o by_o seek_v to_o understand_v what_o i_o have_v see_v because_o i_o know_v not_o how_o to_o be_v satisfy_v in_o some_o doubt_n that_o lay_v very_o sad_a and_o heavy_a upon_o my_o soul_n but_o i_o have_v since_o find_v much_o comfort_n out_o of_o god_n word_n where_o christ_n say_v come_v unto_o i_o all_o you_o that_o be_v weary_a and_o heavy_a lade_v and_o i_o will_v give_v you_o rest_n and_o the_o lord_n say_v i_o have_v call_v thou_o by_o name_n and_o again_o he_o say_v in_o another_o place_n i_o will_v bear_v in_o thou_o a_o poor_a and_o afflict_a people_n and_o they_o shall_v serve_v i_o and_o in_o esay_n he_o say_v i_o will_v gather_v my_o lamb_n with_o my_o arm_n and_o gentle_o lead_v those_o that_o be_v with_o young_a and_o then_o he_o have_v promise_v that_o he_o will_v never_o lay_v more_o upon_o his_o people_n than_o he_o will_v enable_v they_o to_o bear_v and_o i_o have_v these_o effect_n of_o my_o faith_n 1._o my_o heart_n be_v lead_v out_o to_o love_n god_n who_o be_v eternal_a and_o invisible_a and_o incomprehensible_a i_o love_v he_o in_o all_o his_o dispensation_n towards_o i_o and_o in_o the_o mean_a creature_n though_o never_o so_o despise_v i_o desire_v to_o own_o god_n where_o ever_o i_o see_v he_o 2._o i_o find_v my_o heart_n very_o full_a in_o duty_n yet_o i_o have_v be_v sometime_o trouble_v by_o some_o choleric_a distemper_n that_o have_v transport_v i_o in_o some_o dispute_n which_o i_o be_o very_o sorry_a for_o and_o resolve_v to_o leave_v 3._o i_o love_v the_o lord_n who_o have_v hear_v my_o prayer_n and_o now_o at_o last_o satisfy_v i_o in_o every_o scruple_n of_o my_o conscience_n 4._o my_o desire_n be_v to_o walk_v according_a to_o the_o rule_n of_o the_o gospel_n all_o the_o day_n of_o my_o life_n t._n m._n xiii_o experience_n of_o j._n h._n many_o year_n ago_o i_o have_v some_o yerning_n after_o the_o truth_n of_o jesus_n christ_n and_o be_v in_o the_o country_n and_o hear_v mr._n young_a a_o minister_n in_o leicestershire_n preach_v twice_o a_o day_n the_o word_n wrought_v so_o on_o my_o heart_n that_o i_o take_v great_a delight_n to_o hear_v he_o but_o be_v jeer_v by_o the_o people_n for_o a_o puritan_n i_o do_v leave_v off_o hear_v for_o a_o time_n and_o be_v in_o the_o town_n near_o mr._n young_a sometime_o as_o i_o go_v abroad_o i_o
my_o god_n will_v hear_v i_o mich._n 7.7_o and_o i_o have_v find_v much_o comfort_n in_o apply_v several_a promise_n to_o my_o soul_n as_o matth._n 5.4_o christ_n say_v bless_a be_v they_o that_o mourn_v for_o they_o shall_v be_v comfort_v as_o god_n have_v give_v i_o a_o mourn_a spirit_n for_o my_o sin_n so_o i_o believe_v that_o in_o his_o time_n i_o shall_v be_v comfort_v and_o i_o have_v taste_v i_o bless_v god_n of_o the_o comfort_n of_o his_o spirit_n in_o my_o soul_n isaiah_n 55.1_o the_o lord_n say_v ho_o every_o one_o that_o thirst_v come_v you_o to_o the_o water_n and_o he_o that_o have_v no_o money_n come_v you_o buy_v and_o eat_v yea_o come_v buy_v wine_n and_o milk_n without_o money_n and_o without_o price_n as_o the_o lord_n have_v make_v my_o soul_n to_o thirst_v for_o he_o so_o i_o doubt_v not_o but_o to_o find_v he_o and_o the_o lord_n say_v ezek._n 33.11_o as_o i_o live_v i_o have_v no_o pleasure_n in_o the_o death_n of_o the_o wicked_a but_o that_o the_o wicked_a turn_n from_o his_o way_n and_o live_v i_o thank_v god_n my_o heart_n and_o soul_n be_v turn_v from_o all_o thing_n and_o be_v only_o after_o the_o lord_n and_o in_o a_o special_a manner_n i_o have_v find_v sweet_a evidence_n of_o my_o faith_n and_o interest_n in_o god_n through_o christ_n i_o have_v late_o much_o comfort_n from_o a_o sermon_n preach_v by_o mr._n strong_a who_o show_v that_o affliction_n do_v not_o make_v we_o low_o in_o the_o sight_n of_o god_n though_o before_o man_n as_o also_o from_o the_o word_n at_o a_o conference_n by_o mr._n v._o that_o in_o the_o world_n we_o shall_v have_v tribulation_n but_o in_o god_n rest_n and_o 1._o i_o do_v clear_o find_v that_o my_o love_n be_v more_o set_v upon_o god_n than_o upon_o any_o thing_n 2._o i_o can_v more_o willing_o leave_v the_o world_n now_o than_o ever_o before_o and_o i_o can_v willing_o die_v if_o god_n see_v it_o good_a in_o the_o mind_n i_o be_o 3._o i_o find_v in_o my_o heart_n that_o i_o do_v so_o cast_v myself_o upon_o god_n that_o i_o have_v peace_n with_o he_o 4._o in_o time_n of_o doubt_n i_o find_v comfort_n that_o i_o have_v a_o god_n to_o call_v upon_o and_o i_o find_v much_o peace_n in_o my_o mind_n in_o return_n from_o god_n 5._o i_o do_v always_o find_v when_o any_o evil_a thought_n arise_v a_o power_n from_o god_n which_o subdue_v they_o so_o that_o i_o never_o willing_o give_v way_n to_o they_o 6._o i_o find_v my_o affection_n ready_a to_o go_v forth_o both_o to_o duty_n and_o in_o duty_n to_o god_n and_o when_o i_o come_v to_o they_o with_o little_a affection_n yet_o i_o bless_v god_n i_o find_v a_o great_a deal_n of_o comfort_n usual_o before_o i_o go_v away_o 7._o i_o find_v the_o most_o comfort_n to_o my_o spirit_n be_v when_o i_o be_o weep_v for_o my_o infirmity_n or_o at_o prayer_n or_o duty_n in_o public_a or_o private_a and_o methinks_v i_o find_v such_o joy_n in_o they_o that_o i_o can_v dwell_v there_o have_v no_o comfort_n in_o the_o world_n like_o that_o 8._o i_o find_v in_o my_o heart_n a_o real_a love_n to_o all_o if_o any_o have_v wrong_v i_o i_o desire_v no_o revenge_n but_o that_o i_o may_v be_v at_o peace_n with_o all_o 9_o whatsoever_o i_o find_v to_o be_v a_o truth_n from_o god_n and_o a_o motion_n of_o his_o spirit_n i_o find_v in_o my_o soul_n a_o willingn_fw-mi submit_v to_o it_o a._n a._n xxiii_o experience_n of_o e._n c._n about_o 16._o year_n of_o age_n though_o i_o do_v not_o understand_v the_o word_n yet_o i_o have_v a_o great_a desire_n to_o go_v to_o hear_v because_o they_o serve_v god_n therein_o that_o do_v sâ—_n know_v that_o there_o be_v a_o god_n that_o ought_v to_o be_v serve_v and_o i_o sit_v in_o corner_n study_v what_o way_n i_o may_v come_v to_o god_n if_o i_o shall_v die_v have_v a_o very_a great_a affection_n wrought_v by_o the_o lord_n upon_o my_o spirit_n pray_v as_o well_o as_o i_o can_v that_o myself_o and_o my_o father_n and_o mother_n and_o friend_n may_v go_v to_o god_n when_o we_o die_v and_o i_o be_v very_o much_o set_v upon_o duty_n think_v to_o find_v god_n there_o but_o afterward_o live_v in_o a_o family_n where_o i_o be_v much_o hinder_v from_o the_o ordinance_n or_o partake_v of_o any_o thing_n of_o god_n which_o be_v a_o great_a grief_n unto_o i_o yet_o sometime_o i_o have_v thought_n towards_o worldly_a thing_n ponder_v how_o to_o be_v rich_a or_o fine_a as_o other_o but_o god_n wrought_v in_o my_o heart_n a_o remorse_n to_o check_v those_o temptation_n and_o frequent_o the_o lord_n lay_v some_o affliction_n or_o other_o upon_o i_o to_o wean_v i_o the_o more_o from_o such_o vain_a thought_n which_o bring_v my_o heart_n into_o a_o very_a sad_a condition_n many_o time_n and_o sometime_o i_o have_v weep_v day_n and_o night_n and_o at_o other_o time_n through_o grief_n that_o i_o can_v not_o sorrow_n enough_o i_o have_v fall_v into_o a_o great_a measure_n of_o weep_v after_o i_o have_v live_v in_o several_a other_o family_n where_o i_o have_v little_a comfort_n about_o twenty_o year_n since_o hear_v mr._n f._n and_o mr._n p._n on_o lords-day_n i_o be_v much_o comfort_v and_o also_o by_o mr._n martial_n and_o other_o and_o from_o the_o consideration_n of_o the_o love_n of_o god_n in_o christ_n and_o the_o suffering_n of_o christ_n for_o we_o as_o also_o of_o the_o woman_n that_o do_v but_o by_o faith_n touch_v the_o hem_n of_o christ_n garment_n how_o she_o be_v comfort_v and_o heal_v and_o i_o have_v much_o comfort_n in_o private_a meeting_n but_o about_o five_o year_n since_o see_v my_o other_o neighbour_n many_o of_o they_o flourish_v and_o prosper_v in_o the_o world_n more_o than_o i_o i_o begin_v to_o doubt_v that_o i_o do_v but_o play_v the_o hypocrite_n and_o that_o perhaps_o they_o do_v pray_v more_o at_o home_n than_o i_o though_o i_o know_v some_o of_o they_o go_v less_o to_o the_o public_a ordinance_n i_o be_v very_o much_o trouble_v at_o this_o and_o think_v with_o myself_o lord_n shall_v i_o still_o lie_v at_o the_o pool_n and_o find_v no_o body_n to_o put_v i_o in_o that_o i_o may_v be_v heal_v and_o i_o be_v much_o trouble_v because_o many_o of_o my_o neighbour_n hate_v i_o for_o frequent_v private_a meeting_n and_o for_o above_o a_o month_n i_o spend_v much_o time_n in_o private_a prayer_n and_o often_o in_o the_o night_n upon_o my_o bed_n and_o go_v to_o hear_v only_o on_o the_o lords-day_n but_o then_o i_o have_v thought_n upon_o i_o that_o it_o be_v not_o please_v to_o god_n to_o pray_v unto_o he_o upon_o a_o soft_a bed_n then_o the_o lord_n put_v it_o in_o my_o heart_n that_o he_o have_v promise_v that_o where_o two_o or_o three_o be_v meet_v together_o in_o my_o name_n that_o i_o will_v be_v in_o the_o midst_n of_o they_o this_o cause_v i_o to_o go_v again_o as_o i_o have_v do_v before_o to_o hear_v of_o sermon_n on_o weekday_n but_o still_o i_o find_v many_o reason_n and_o doubting_n upon_o my_o spirit_n whether_o i_o be_v elect_v or_o not_o and_o be_v much_o cast_v down_o many_o time_n about_o it_o and_o have_v some_o temptation_n to_o despair_n fear_v that_o such_o a_o sinner_n as_o i_o can_v not_o be_v save_v yet_o i_o have_v comfort_n in_o this_o that_o though_o i_o be_v a_o sinner_n god_n by_o his_o spirit_n have_v mortify_v i_o and_o though_o i_o be_o not_o so_o good_a as_o i_o shall_v be_v yet_o through_o the_o power_n of_o grace_n i_o be_o not_o so_o bad_a as_o the_o flesh_n will_v be_v and_o find_v much_o of_o the_o testimony_n of_o god_n spirit_n upon_o my_o heart_n i_o have_v great_a hope_n that_o i_o have_v mark_n and_o token_n of_o my_o believe_v one_o night_n have_v for_o about_o half_a a_o year_n time_n before_o use_v to_o go_v to_o bed_n before_o i_o pray_v be_v in_o bed_n and_o think_v to_o pray_v to_o god_n i_o have_v strange_a temptation_n upon_o i_o to_o put_v god_n out_o of_o my_o mind_n and_o i_o can_v not_o speak_v a_o word_n nor_o scarce_o think_v of_o god_n and_o if_o i_o do_v in_o some_o interval_n i_o can_v not_o name_n god_n or_o christ_n nor_o speak_v a_o word_n to_o god_n for_o the_o present_a and_o satan_n then_o seem_v to_o appear_v to_o i_o in_o a_o most_o ugly_a shape_n laugh_v and_o jeer_v at_o i_o which_o do_v much_o affright_v i_o and_o i_o fear_v that_o i_o have_v play_v the_o hypocrite_n with_o god_n and_o now_o shall_v run_v mad_a to_o make_v good_a what_o some_o haâ—_n reproachful_o cast_v upon_o i_o that_o i_o be_v a_o hypocrite_n and_o i_o be_v rise_v out_o of_o my_o bed_n but_o it_o please_v the_o lord_n to_o
put_v it_o into_o my_o mind_n that_o christ_n jesus_n have_v not_o give_v so_o much_o for_o soul_n as_o he_o have_v do_v to_o let_v the_o devil_n have_v they_o for_o nothing_o and_o in_o the_o strength_n of_o the_o lord_n i_o repulse_v the_o devil_n say_v satan_n when_o thou_o in_o tempt_a christ_n show_v he_o the_o whole_a world_n thou_o promise_v he_o that_o which_o be_v none_o of_o thou_o own_o nor_o be_o i_o thou_o and_o therefore_o avoid_v satan_n for_o thou_o have_v nothing_o to_o do_v with_o i_o and_o then_o the_o devil_n depart_v from_o i_o then_o my_o heart_n be_v much_o fill_v with_o the_o thought_n of_o the_o goodness_n of_o god_n and_o with_o a_o mixture_n of_o tear_n and_o joy_n i_o have_v sweet_a comfort_n from_o the_o lord_n and_o though_o i_o have_v have_v many_o doubt_n upon_o my_o spirit_n sometime_o yet_o i_o have_v since_o find_v very_o great_a consolation_n through_o faith_n in_o the_o promise_n of_o god_n as_o in_o these_o and_z divers_z other_o matth._n 11.28_o come_v unto_o i_o all_o you_o that_o labour_n and_o be_v heavy_a lade_v and_o i_o will_v give_v you_o rest_n i_o thank_v god_n i_o have_v find_v much_o rest_n and_o refreshment_n by_o come_v to_o christ_n and_o that_o his_o grace_n be_v sufficient_a for_o i_o matth._n 5.6_o bless_a be_v they_o which_o do_v hunger_n and_o thirst_n after_o righteousness_n for_o they_o shall_v be_v fill_v i_o have_v often_o lay_v hold_v on_o this_o promise_n with_o a_o thirst_a desire_n after_o jesus_n christ_n and_o he_o have_v fill_v i_o with_o comfort_n and_o the_o comfort_n wherewith_o christ_n do_v comfort_n peter_n bid_v he_o not_o to_o fear_v for_o he_o have_v pray_v for_o he_o have_v be_v upon_o my_o spirit_n and_o give_v i_o great_a consolation_n in_o that_o i_o know_v christ_n be_v hear_v in_o all_o that_o he_o pray_v to_o the_o father_n and_o i_o find_v the_o testimony_n of_o my_o conversion_n to_o god_n which_o give_v satisfaction_n to_o my_o soul_n that_o i_o be_o a_o true_a believer_n 1._o though_o i_o do_v all_o that_o i_o can_v to_o serve_v god_n as_o he_o have_v command_v i_o yet_o i_o find_v great_a imperfection_n and_o utter_a unworthiness_n in_o myself_o to_o deserve_v any_o thing_n of_o god_n but_o my_o whole_a dependence_n and_o hope_n of_o salvation_n be_v in_o god_n free_a grace_n in_o the_o blood_n and_o merit_n of_o my_o saviour_n jesus_n chrsst_n 2._o i_o do_v find_v that_o the_o love_n of_o god_n in_o christ_n constrain_v i_o to_o love_n god_n again_o above_o all_o thing_n in_o the_o world_n and_o whatever_o i_o be_o about_o my_o soul_n be_v delight_v with_o god_n above_o all_o 3._o i_o find_v that_o the_o lord_n draw_v my_o heart_n to_o hate_v all_o evil_a communication_n and_o evil_a thing_n and_o not_o so_o much_o to_o fear_v the_o punishment_n of_o the_o world_n for_o any_o thing_n as_o to_o sin_n against_o god_n 4._o i_o be_o much_o delight_v in_o the_o working_n of_o god_n spirit_n and_o it_o be_v a_o great_a joy_n and_o comfort_n to_o my_o soul_n when_o my_o heart_n be_v enlarge_v towards_o god_n 5._o my_o heart_n be_v much_o affect_v unto_o ordinance_n and_o if_o satan_n suggest_v worldly_a thought_n to_o hinder_v i_o from_o duty_n i_o have_v call_v upon_o god_n and_o find_v comfort_n and_o when_o i_o have_v come_v to_o duty_n with_o cold_a affection_n i_o have_v be_v much_o refresh_v in_o the_o duty_n &_o though_o sometime_o i_o have_v feel_v pain_n and_o distemper_n in_o my_o body_n which_o i_o have_v thought_n satan_n have_v do_v to_o make_v i_o weary_a in_o duty_n yet_o i_o have_v call_v on_o the_o lord_n and_o find_v comfort_n 6._o i_o find_v great_a peace_n and_o much_o comfort_n in_o the_o lord_n so_o that_o i_o can_v be_v willing_a to_o die_v and_o it_o be_v a_o great_a joy_n to_o i_o in_o that_o i_o expect_v to_o die_v that_o i_o may_v be_v deliver_v from_o the_o affliction_n of_o the_o world_n to_o enter_v into_o eternal_a joy_n with_o christ_n for_o ever_o e._n o._n xxiv_o expeience_n of_o a._n g._n i_o have_v be_v many_o year_n since_o very_o sensible_a of_o my_o natural_a estate_n and_o do_v lie_v long_o under_o the_o sense_n of_o my_o sin_n which_o be_v so_o great_a a_o burden_n to_o i_o that_o they_o make_v i_o almost_o despair_v insomuch_o that_o i_o can_v scarce_o either_o eat_v or_o drink_v but_o have_v my_o spirit_n dry_v up_o with_o the_o anguish_n thereof_o for_o i_o be_v bring_v up_o under_o the_o mean_n and_o from_o a_o child_n frequent_v the_o hear_n of_o the_o word_n and_o the_o first_o cause_n of_o my_o great_a torment_n be_v for_o that_o i_o once_o tell_v a_o lie_n against_o my_o conscience_n which_o so_o lie_v upon_o my_o spirit_n afterward_o that_o i_o can_v receive_v no_o comfort_n i_o go_v to_o hear_v the_o word_n and_o read_v the_o scripture_n yet_o all_o do_v but_o increase_v my_o horror_n several_a minister_n and_o godly_a people_n use_v great_a mean_n to_o comfort_v i_o but_o all_o in_o vain_a for_o a_o time_n and_o when_o i_o read_v the_o scripture_n i_o find_v every_o threaten_n and_o judgement_n therein_o that_o i_o fix_v my_o thought_n upon_o to_o speak_v terror_n to_o my_o soul_n and_o my_o distraction_n be_v so_o great_a that_o my_o friend_n say_v i_o be_v mad_a and_o keep_v the_o bible_n from_o i_o for_o so_o often_o as_o i_o read_v in_o it_o i_o pore_v most_o upon_o that_o dreadful_a place_n matth._n 12.31_o all_o manner_n of_o sin_n and_o blasphemy_n shall_v be_v forgive_v unto_o man_n but_o the_o blasphemy_n against_o the_o holy_a ghost_n shall_v not_o be_v forgive_v unto_o man_n i_o do_v not_o know_v what_o the_o sin_n against_o the_o holy_a ghost_n be_v but_o i_o have_v a_o persuasion_n i_o have_v commit_v that_o sin_n and_o fear_v that_o my_o sin_n can_v not_o be_v pardon_v and_o that_o i_o shall_v never_o go_v to_o heaven_n but_o be_v cast_v off_o to_o the_o damn_a yet_o this_o the_o lord_n wrought_v for_o i_o and_o in_o i_o by_o his_o bless_a spirit_n to_o draw_v forth_o my_o heart_n to_o be_v often_o pray_v in_o that_o poor_a doubt_a way_n my_o spirit_n can_v by_o the_o lord_n assistance_n vouchsafe_v to_o i_o attain_v unto_o for_o though_o i_o think_v it_o in_o vain_a and_o that_o god_n will_v not_o hear_v i_o yet_o i_o continue_v pray_v and_o often_o cry_v to_o god_n not_o only_o in_o the_o day_n time_n but_o frequent_o in_o the_o night_n and_o rise_v out_o of_o my_o bed_n to_o pray_v to_o god_n to_o have_v mercy_n upon_o i_o and_o i_o be_v sometime_o a_o little_a comfort_v in_o that_o i_o be_v persuade_v to_o hope_v in_o the_o lord_n but_o yet_o it_o be_v dash_v again_o through_o fear_n that_o i_o have_v commit_v the_o sin_n against_o the_o holy_a ghost_n and_o i_o think_v that_o all_o victual_n and_o every_o thing_n be_v too_o good_a for_o i_o and_o that_o i_o be_v unworthy_a of_o all_o en_fw-fr oyment_n thus_o i_o lay_v for_o some_o month_n in_o a_o sad_a agony_n wrestle_v with_o temptation_n perplex_v between_o hope_n and_o despair_n but_o at_o last_o in_o hear_v mr._n w._n minister_n of_o b._n and_o read_v a_o book_n call_v the_o new_a birth_n i_o find_v comfort_n be_v better_o satisfy_v what_o the_o sin_n against_o the_o holy_a ghost_n be_v than_o before_o since_o which_o i_o bless_v god_n i_o have_v for_o some_o year_n past_a find_v much_o comfort_n from_o the_o promise_v of_o god_n reveal_v in_o his_o holy_a word_n some_o of_o which_o follow_v matth._n 5.6_o bless_a be_v they_o which_o do_v hunger_n and_o thirst_n after_o righteousness_n for_o they_o shall_v be_v fill_v my_o chief_a desire_n be_v after_o jesus_n christ_n and_o to_o follow_v he_o by_o the_o rule_n of_o the_o gospel_n not_o doubt_v but_o that_o i_o shall_v be_v bless_v in_o that_o grace_n which_o he_o communicate_v to_o i_o from_o his_o fullness_n matth._n 11.28_o come_v unto_o i_o all_o you_o that_o labour_n and_o be_v heavy_a lade_v and_o i_o will_v give_v you_o rest_n this_o promise_n be_v to_o soul_n lade_v with_o dejection_n and_o universal_a to_o all_o that_o come_v to_o christ_n have_v much_o comfort_v my_o heart_n in_o that_o by_o his_o spirit_n he_o have_v draw_v forth_o my_o soul_n to_o come_v to_o he_o and_o as_o a_o testimony_n of_o my_o love_n to_o god_n and_o evidence_n of_o my_o faith_n i_o bless_v god_n i_o have_v these_o comfortable_a fruit_n of_o the_o spirit_n of_o grace_n in_o my_o soul_n 1._o though_o i_o do_v all_o that_o i_o can_v to_o serve_v god_n yet_o in_o all_o thing_n i_o find_v infirmity_n in_o i_o so_o that_o all_o my_o trust_n be_v only_o in_o the_o merit_n of_o my_o saviour_n jesus_n christ_n 2._o though_o i_o can_v be_v so_o holy_a as_o