soul_n in_o former_a day_n in_o the_o night-season_n and_o how_o sweet_a my_o meditation_n of_o he_o have_v be_v night_n and_o morning_n upon_o my_o bed_n and_o how_o barren_a my_o heart_n have_v be_v for_o some_o time_n of_o late_a in_o these_o meditation_n and_o how_o the_o lord_n have_v seem_v to_o withdraw_v these_o thought_n do_v put_v i_o upon_o it_o the_o ten_o of_o this_o second_o month_n in_o the_o evening_n to_o beg_v of_o god_n that_o as_o he_o have_v former_o appear_v in_o such_o season_n that_o he_o will_v please_v to_o return_v that_o mercy_n even_o by_o those_o torch_n of_o his_o hand_n whereby_o my_o night_n be_v very_o wearisome_a to_o my_o body_n by_o reason_n of_o my_o extreme_a cough_n &_o true_o i_o do_v the_o more_o press_v it_o upon_o the_o lord_n in_o my_o desire_n have_v much_o groan_v to_o think_v that_o night_n will_v be_v very_o wearisome_a to_o i_o more_o than_o any_o former_o by_o reason_n of_o my_o distemper_n but_o my_o good_a god_n who_o work_v all_o thing_n after_o the_o counsel_n of_o his_o own_o will_n and_o not_o according_a to_o our_o thought_n or_o fear_n or_o hope_n so_o order_v it_o that_o what_o i_o have_v reason_n most_o to_o fear_n he_o give_v i_o least_o to_o feel_v and_o though_o i_o be_v much_o distemper_v in_o my_o head_n when_o i_o go_v to_o bed_n by_o reason_n of_o my_o cold_n that_o be_v so_o great_a yet_o do_v he_o give_v i_o very_o good_a rest_n all_o the_o forepart_n of_o the_o night_n which_o when_o i_o awake_v towards_o morning_n and_o begin_v to_o consider_v oh_o i_o can_v not_o but_o admire_v but_o withal_o begin_v to_o think_v that_o though_o my_o desire_n about_o this_o be_v answer_v and_o though_o i_o have_v rest_n of_o body_n yet_o no_o communion_n with_o my_o god_n or_o reason_v with_o my_o own_o heart_n which_o i_o intend_v to_o have_v parly_v a_o little_a with_o while_o i_o have_v these_o thought_n and_o the_o like_a lie_v in_o a_o slumber_a way_n there_o be_v this_o thought_n bring_v to_o my_o mind_n which_o mr._n cradock_n the_o four_o day_n of_o this_o second_o month_n mention_v upon_o another_o occasion_n the_o word_n be_v these_o that_o vain_a man_n will_v be_v wise_a that_o be_v bear_v like_o a_o wild_a ass_n colt_n these_o word_n run_v much_o in_o my_o mind_n and_o some_o thought_n be_v give_v in_o upon_o they_o with_o a_o great_a desire_n i_o may_v not_o forget_v they_o but_o may_v in_o the_o morning_n see_v and_o find_v out_o that_o place_n of_o scripture_n but_o the_o lord_n give_v i_o as_o i_o think_v a_o opportunity_n and_o so_o much_o strength_n as_o to_o go_v and_o hear_v mr._n cradick_n i_o haste_v as_o soon_o as_o i_o can_v get_v up_o to_o prepare_v for_o go_v but_o when_o we_o come_v there_o have_v pray_v to_o the_o lord_n in_o some_o few_o word_n that_o he_o will_v please_v to_o give_v i_o some_o sight_n of_o himself_o some_o transform_a sight_n and_o some_o kiss_n from_o his_o lip_n this_o day_n but_o go_v there_o we_o be_v disappoint_v for_o that_o exercise_n be_v for_o some_o occasion_n put_v off_o to_o next_o morning_n and_o so_o we_o come_v home_o again_o and_o come_v home_o be_v a_o little_a sadned_a in_o my_o spirit_n think_v of_o my_o morning-desire_n &_o when_o a_o answer_n shall_v be_v of_o they_o or_o how_o look_v for_o i_o sit_v i_o down_o and_o fall_v to_o read_v a_o little_a of_o mr._n cradock_n sermon_n before_o mention_v and_o meet_v with_o these_o word_n oh_o vain_a man_n that_o will_v be_v wise_a put_v i_o again_o in_o mind_n of_o my_o night-thought_n and_o fall_v to_o look_v the_o scripture_n and_o find_v it_o in_o job_n 11._o 12._o for_o vain_a man_n will_v be_v wise_a though_o man_n be_v bear_v like_o a_o wild_a ass_n colt_n some_o hint_n there_o be_v that_o fall_v upon_o my_o heart_n this_o night_n from_o these_o word_n vain_a man_n will_v be_v wise_a good_a god_n have_v not_o this_o be_v my_o condition_n this_o poor_a vain_a creature_n will_v i_o not_o fain_o be_v wise_a and_o think_v to_o be_v so_o and_o often_o pride_v myself_o in_o the_o thought_n of_o it_o for_o which_o the_o lord_n righteous_o show_v i_o now_o and_o then_o my_o folly_n yet_o how_o fain_o will_v i_o be_v wise_a in_o chalk_v out_o way_n for_o the_o lord_n to_o walk_v in_o towards_o i_o even_o as_o if_o i_o know_v better_a what_o be_v good_a for_o i_o then_o god_n or_o how_o to_o accomplish_v that_o work_n in_o my_o soul_n better_o than_o he_o and_o therefore_o be_o i_o so_o ready_a to_o prescribe_v to_o he_o way_n yea_o and_o if_o he_o refuse_v and_o reject_v they_o as_o for_o the_o most_o part_n he_o be_v please_v in_o mercy_n to_o do_v bless_a be_v his_o name_n oh_o how_o sad_o do_v it_o often_o lie_v upon_o my_o spirit_n and_o how_o apt_a be_o i_o to_o think_v hardly_o of_o the_o lord_n that_o true_o he_o do_v not_o mean_v i_o any_o good_a in_o deny_v i_o this_o or_o that_o i_o desire_v and_o for_o the_o late_a word_n though_o man_n be_v bear_v like_o a_o wild_a ass_n colt_n concern_v which_o i_o have_v some_o scatter_a thought_n but_o not_o so_o compose_v as_o afterward_o but_o after_o i_o have_v come_v home_o from_o james_n next_o day_n and_o have_v look_v this_o scripture_n and_o find_v it_o sit_v and_o pause_v a_o while_n upon_o it_o my_o spirit_n be_v very_o much_o sadn_v and_o unfit_a for_o any_o serious_a spiritual_a meditation_n at_o last_o i_o betake_v myself_o to_o some_o short_a request_n to_o the_o lord_n tell_v he_o that_o as_o he_o be_v please_v thus_o to_o disappoint_v my_o expectation_n of_o the_o public_a enjoyment_n yet_o in_o he_o there_o be_v a_o fullness_n of_o all_o power_n and_o ability_n thereby_o be_v as_o able_a to_o speak_v to_o i_o by_o his_o own_o spirit_n something_o that_o may_v be_v of_o spiritual_a advantage_n some_o transform_a word_n which_o he_o be_v able_a to_o do_v as_o well_o in_o private_a as_o in_o public_a which_o i_o do_v now_o beg_v of_o he_o and_o to_o that_o end_n beseech_v he_o to_o lead_v i_o by_o the_o hand_n this_o day_n and_o guide_v i_o into_o the_o way_n and_o put_v i_o upon_o the_o work_n and_o that_o he_o will_v please_v to_o appear_v to_o i_o with_o many_o other_o request_v both_o for_o my_o own_o soul_n and_o other_o in_o relation_n to_o i_o but_o not_o know_v what_o work_n to_o set_v upon_o this_o day_n or_o what_o to_o take_v in_o hand_n but_o wait_v upon_o the_o lord_n direction_n have_v many_o thing_n in_o my_o thought_n to_o do_v but_o desirous_a of_o some_o word_n from_o god_n to_o my_o poor_a soul_n but_o this_o word_n in_o job_n 11._o 12._o follow_v i_o still_o i_o fall_v to_o some_o further_a thought_n of_o it_o and_o ruminate_v on_o the_o latter_a clause_n of_o be_v like_o the_o wild_a ass_n i_o begin_v to_o think_v what_o that_o scripture_n do_v record_n of_o this_o creature_n that_o i_o see_v do_v resemble_v i_o full_o and_o there_o these_o word_n of_o the_o prophet_n bring_v to_o my_o mind_n that_o it_o go_v up_o and_o down_o snuff_v up_o the_o wind_n and_o be_v ready_a to_o be_v find_v in_o her_o month_n which_o word_n i_o find_v in_o jeremiah_n 2._o 24._o a_o wild_a ass_n use_v to_o the_o wilderness_n that_o snuff_v up_o the_o wind_n at_o her_o pleasure_n in_o her_o occasion_n who_o can_v turn_v she_o away_o all_o these_o that_o seek_v she_o will_v weary_v themselves_o in_o her_o month_n they_o shall_v find_v she_o in_o which_o as_o also_o in_o most_o part_n of_o the_o chapter_n i_o find_v many_o thing_n that_o sit_v very_o close_o to_o i_o the_o lord_n begin_v thus_o it_o be_v with_o i_o for_o in_o v._o 2._o i_o remember_v say_v he_o the_o kindn_a of_o thy_o youth_n the_o love_n of_o thy_o espousal_n when_o thou_o wente_v after_o i_o in_o the_o wilderness_n in_o a_o land_n that_o be_v not_o sow_o in_o the_o time_n of_o thy_o darkness_n sorrow_n and_o tear_n and_o bondage_n when_o thou_o wente_v after_o i_o and_o often_o in_o the_o bitterness_n of_o thy_o soul_n resolve_v to_o follow_v i_o through_o this_o wilderness_n though_o thou_o shall_v perish_v in_o so_o do_v yea_o resolve_v so_o to_o follow_v i_o as_o that_o thy_o heart_n be_v then_o full_o as_o it_o be_v take_v off_o from_o all_o but_o i_o thou_o do_v desire_v nothing_o but_o myself_o but_o ver_fw-la 5._o what_o iniquity_n have_v your_o father_n find_v in_o i_o that_o you_o go_v from_o i_o to_o follow_v after_o vanity_n how_o righteous_o may_v the_o lord_n say_v thus_o to_o i_o be_v he_o not_o better_o to_o i_o by_o far_o then_o ever_o i_o expect_v or_o can_v have_v believe_v v._o 6._o neither_o say_v they_o where_o
the_o lord_n will_v be_v please_v to_o pardon_v all_o the_o unbelieved_a working_n of_o my_o corrupt_a heart_n and_o those_o hard_a thought_n i_o have_v have_v of_o god_n and_o that_o he_o will_v please_v to_o give_v in_o such_o clear_a vision_n of_o himself_o as_o may_v mighty_o increase_v my_o faith_n which_o desire_v of_o i_o be_v spread_v before_o the_o lord_n that_o day_n but_o have_v receive_v at_o this_o time_n some_o little_a refresh_n from_o those_o instruction_n the_o lord_n be_v please_v then_o to_o communicate_v by_o mr._n knight_n from_o heb._n 12._o 5-13_a from_o which_o scripture_n i_o be_v also_o convince_v that_o in_o most_o of_o the_o chastisement_n the_o lord_n have_v see_v meet_a to_o lay_v i_o under_o i_o have_v either_o despise_v his_o chastisement_n or_o else_o faint_v under_o they_o the_o lord_n i_o say_v have_v this_o day_n break_v in_o thus_o upon_o my_o heart_n by_o his_o spirit_n through_o his_o word_n the_o devil_n soon_o begin_v again_o with_o i_o take_v this_o opportunity_n i_o have_v set_v myself_o and_o endeavour_v to_o lay_v my_o heart_n to_o the_o word_n and_o see_v what_o comfortable_a ground_n i_o can_v take_v up_o that_o the_o lord_n have_v indeed_o afflict_v i_o in_o mercy_n etc._n etc._n the_o devil_n now_o begin_v to_o endeavour_v to_o puff_n up_o my_o spirit_n with_o a_o conceit_n that_o i_o be_v able_a to_o speak_v more_o in_o this_o kind_n than_o many_o other_o who_o be_v at_o that_o time_n also_o by_o he_o present_v but_o through_o mercy_n this_o do_v not_o pass_v many_o day_n before_o the_o lord_n sad_o show_v i_o my_o folly_n and_o weakness_n herein_o for_o a_o little_a while_n after_o there_o be_v a_o other_o day_n keep_v to_o which_o meeting_n i_o go_v and_o true_o after_o i_o come_v there_o the_o lord_n set_v home_o these_o wicked_a thought_n together_o with_o several_a other_o thing_n which_o wrought_v so_o upon_o my_o spirit_n that_o my_o heart_n be_v even_o overwhelm_v within_o i_o in_o so_o much_o that_o i_o can_v not_o keep_v it_o to_o myself_o but_o be_v constrain_v to_o discover_v it_o by_o my_o carriage_n which_o mr._n knight_n take_v notice_n of_o speak_v to_o i_o after_o the_o exercise_n at_o which_o time_n i_o be_v so_o far_o from_o that_o ability_n that_o satan_n possess_v i_o with_o thought_n of_o that_o i_o be_v not_o able_a in_o any_o measure_n to_o speak_v my_o heart_n to_o he_o but_o be_v as_o it_o be_v one_o who_o the_o lord_n have_v give_v up_o to_o a_o dumb_a spirit_n and_o think_v those_o three_o word_n which_o be_v all_o that_o i_o can_v then_o speak_v be_v through_o a_o mere_a mistake_n sad_o misconstrued_n by_o he_o yet_o have_v i_o not_o power_n to_o speak_v one_o word_n to_o clear_v my_o meaning_n suppose_v it_o may_v possible_o be_v that_o the_o lord_n have_v something_o to_o speak_v to_o i_o even_o through_o that_o mistake_n there_o be_v also_o this_o day_n a_o word_n set_v home_o very_o much_o on_o my_o heart_n from_o something_o mr._n milborn_n note_v to_o we_o which_o also_o add_v much_o to_o my_o sadness_n and_o it_o be_v this_o that_o i_o have_v pray_v and_o pray_v again_o and_o again_o but_o when_o i_o have_v do_v i_o never_o look_v after_o the_o return_n of_o they_o have_v never_o yet_o any_o experience_n make_v out_o to_o i_o that_o i_o dare_v acknowledge_v this_o or_o that_o to_o be_v a_o return_n of_o my_o prayer_n nay_o though_o the_o lord_n have_v give_v in_o a_o mercy_n that_o i_o have_v beg_v of_o he_o i_o be_v still_o for_o many_o year_n tempt_v to_o believe_v that_o it_o have_v be_v so_o though_o i_o have_v not_o pray_v and_o so_o it_o be_v not_o give_v in_o as_o a_o answer_n to_o prayer_n which_o do_v much_o eat_v out_o the_o sweetness_n of_o those_o mercy_n which_o i_o do_v enjoy_v in_o so_o much_o that_o i_o think_v i_o do_v now_o even_o stand_v and_o admire_v what_o it_o be_v that_o do_v at_o that_o time_n support_v my_o spirit_n &_o carry_v i_o on_o in_o a_o continue_a seek_v of_o god_n be_v not_o able_a then_o to_o record_v a_o answer_n of_o prayer_n at_o all_o that_o i_o can_v bring_v to_o mind_n however_o the_o lord_n have_v be_v please_v before_o this_o time_n to_o give_v i_o many_o gracious_a answer_n to_o my_o poor_a desire_n yet_o be_v my_o eye_n withhold_v from_o see_v they_o to_o be_v so_o and_o take_v the_o comfort_n thereof_o until_o a_o long_a after_o yea_o sometime_o some_o year_n after_o some_o of_o they_o be_v give_v in_o which_o yet_o afterward_o the_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o make_v out_o unto_o i_o even_o before_o the_o write_n hereof_o but_o after_o all_o this_o the_o lord_n by_o the_o act_n of_o his_o providence_n seem_v much_o to_o cross_v these_o hope_n and_o desire_n of_o his_o people_n in_o join_v in_o fellowship_n together_o which_o when_o i_o hear_v of_o it_o be_v a_o great_a trouble_n to_o i_o who_o great_o desire_v the_o accomplishment_n of_o it_o sometime_o think_v that_o it_o may_v be_v even_o for_o my_o sake_n alone_o that_o the_o lord_n have_v do_v it_o other_o time_n be_v tempt_v to_o think_v that_o if_o it_o have_v be_v the_o lord_n act_v to_o work_v up_o my_o spirit_n to_o that_o pitch_n that_o i_o think_v i_o find_v it_o wrought_v up_o unto_o than_o he_o will_v also_o have_v go_v on_o to_o have_v perfect_v my_o desire_n but_o be_v again_o enable_v on_o the_o other_o side_n to_o reason_n thus_o with_o myself_o that_o it_o be_v my_o duty_n to_o wait_v patient_o upon_o the_o lord_n and_o submit_v to_o he_o as_o well_o for_o the_o time_n as_o for_o the_o matter_n i_o endeavour_v the_o lord_n assist_v i_o to_o quiet_v my_o spirit_n with_o such_o thought_n as_o these_o that_o the_o lord_n may_v delay_v it_o in_o much_o mercy_n that_o so_o i_o may_v be_v the_o more_o fit_a for_o it_o when_o he_o shall_v please_v to_o accomplish_v it_o apprehend_v that_o sure_o he_o see_v i_o not_o yet_o fit_a for_o such_o a_o mercy_n than_o do_v i_o again_o turn_v to_o the_o lord_n and_o thus_o desire_v to_o submit_v to_o he_o beg_v of_o he_o to_o fit_v i_o for_o such_o a_o mercy_n and_o if_o he_o see_v it_o good_a to_o afford_v i_o the_o mercy_n here_o if_o not_o that_o he_o will_v direct_v i_o where_o to_o join_v that_o may_v be_v more_o for_o his_o glory_n and_o my_o soul_n good_a thus_o be_v the_o lord_n please_v to_o go_v on_o well_o nigh_o a_o quarter_n of_o a_o year_n still_o come_v in_o with_o more_o light_n and_o discovery_n of_o his_o love_n to_o my_o soul_n and_o clear_v up_o to_o i_o more_o and_o more_o that_o work_n which_o he_o have_v begin_v through_o his_o rich_a and_o free_a grace_n in_o my_o lord_n jesus_n in_o who_o i_o do_v now_o desire_v only_o and_o alone_o to_o be_v find_v and_o not_o in_o any_o of_o my_o own_o righteousness_n who_o have_v now_o enable_v i_o to_o see_v to_o be_v very_o loathsome_a and_o abominable_a though_o former_o i_o have_v too_o much_o dote_v upon_o they_o then_o in_o the_o three_o month_n in_o the_o year_n 1652._o mr._n knight_n be_v go_v into_o the_o north_n the_o lord_n be_v please_v by_o a_o mere_a providence_n as_o i_o desire_v to_o look_v upon_o it_o not_o know_v as_o yet_o but_o that_o i_o may_v also_o say_v as_o a_o return_n of_o many_o of_o my_o former_a poor_a desire_n to_o send_v mr._n rogers_n to_o the_o meeting_n at_o mr._n knight_n house_n have_v preach_v one_o lord_n day_n before_o at_o the_o chapel_n at_o hammersmith_n which_o occasion_v very_o strong_a and_o earnest_a desire_n in_o i_o to_o hear_v he_o again_o which_o now_o i_o do_v the_o lord_n direct_v he_o this_o time_n to_o speak_v unto_o we_o concern_v church_n discipline_n which_o i_o be_v yet_o very_o dark_a in_o which_o the_o lord_n enable_v he_o to_o give_v i_o very_o much_o and_o great_a satisfaction_n which_o otherwise_o i_o have_v cause_n to_o fear_v i_o may_v more_o inconsiderate_o have_v rush_v upon_o thus_o be_v the_o lord_n please_v i_o hope_v in_o answer_n to_o my_o poor_a desire_n yet_o far_a to_o clear_v up_o this_o way_n of_o he_o to_o i_o prove_v it_o clear_o to_o be_v the_o way_n of_o the_o gospel_n and_o that_o which_o every_o one_o ought_v to_o be_v full_o satisfy_v in_o before_o they_o enter_v upon_o this_o be_v now_o more_o clear_v unto_o i_o my_o desire_n and_o long_n after_o the_o enjoyment_n of_o god_n in_o this_o zion_n grow_v more_o strong_a and_o earnest_a i_o continual_o mention_v it_o before_o the_o lord_n after_o this_o real_o i_o can_v tell_v but_o that_o i_o shall_v rob_v the_o lord_n of_o his_o glory_n in_o this_o particular_a if_o i_o shall_v not_o also_o acknowledge_v he_o further_o by_o my_o poor_a
a_o wise_a virgin_n lamp_n burn_v or_o god_n sweet_a income_n of_o love_n to_o a_o gracious_a soul_n wait_v for_o he_o be_v the_o experience_n of_o mrs._n anne_n venn_n daughter_n to_o col._n john_n venn_n &_o member_n of_o the_o church_n of_o christ_n at_o fulham_n write_v by_o she_o own_o hand_n and_o find_v in_o her_o closet_n after_o her_o death_n wherein_o be_v declare_v she_o exceed_v frequent_a address_n to_o the_o throne_n of_o grace_n and_o how_o speedy_o answer_v write_a for_o the_o comfort_n of_o such_o as_o mourn_v in_o zion_n and_o quicken_a of_o saint_n by_o her_o bless_a example_n psal_n 30.5_o weep_n may_v endure_v for_o a_o night_n but_o joy_n come_v in_o the_o morning_n psal_n 66.16_o come_v and_o hear_v all_o you_o that_o fear_v god_n i_o will_v declare_v what_o he_o have_v do_v for_o my_o soul_n psal_n 85.8_o i_o will_v hear_v what_o god_n the_o lord_n will_v say_v for_o he_o will_v speak_v peace_n to_o his_o people_n lam._n 3.25_o the_o lord_n be_v good_a to_o they_o that_o wait_v for_o he_o to_o the_o soul_n that_o seek_v he_o london_n print_v for_o e._n cole_n and_o be_v to_o be_v sell_v at_o the_o sign_n of_o the_o printing-press_n in_o cornhill_n 1658._o christian_n reader_n here_o may_v thou_o see_v the_o free_a frequent_a &_o familiar_a intercourse_n betwixt_o the_o lord_n &_o a_o godly_a soul_n her_o continual_a address_n to_o he_o and_o his_o gracious_a return_v to_o she_o doubtless_o she_o be_v one_o that_o as_o it_o be_v say_v of_o caleb_n follow_v god_n full_o and_o lay_v as_o much_o in_o the_o bosom_n of_o christ_n as_o any_o that_o i_o have_v hear_v of_o a_o rare_a pattern_n in_o these_o cold_a decline_a time_n wherein_o so_o many_o either_o turn_n aside_o from_o the_o truth_n or_o else_o lose_v their_o first_o love_n but_o her_o pious_a soul_n in_o a_o eminent_a manner_n keep_v truth_n and_o zeal_n warm_v she_o in_o heart_n even_o till_o she_o enjoy_v full_a communion_n with_o her_o belove_a in_o heaven_n as_o she_o begin_v to_o seek_v after_o god_n betimes_o about_o the_o age_n of_o nine_o year_n so_o she_o continue_v with_o her_o loin_n gird_v her_o lamp_n burn_v and_o her_o light_n shine_v more_o and_o more_o till_o the_o perfect_a day_n the_o tenderness_n of_o god_n the_o malice_n of_o satan_n her_o patience_n in_o wait_v on_o god_n for_o certain_a year_n to_o gether_o in_o her_o first_o conversion_n be_v remarkable_a the_o closeness_n of_o her_o spirit_n not_o open_v her_o condition_n to_o such_o as_o may_v have_v relieve_v she_o her_o seek_v to_o heal_v herself_o by_o duty_n and_o holy_a walk_n for_o a_o long_a time_n keep_v down_o her_o soul_n from_o look_v up_o to_o the_o free_a grace_n in_o christ_n till_o she_o be_v even_o tire_v out_o as_o noah_n dove_n by_o flutter_v upon_o the_o unsteady_a water_n but_o then_o the_o lord_n jesus_n put_v forth_o his_o hand_n and_o take_v her_o weary_a soul_n into_o the_o ark_n of_o his_o rest_n give_v she_o such_o a_o clear_a sight_n of_o himself_o that_o now_o have_v with_o the_o spouse_n find_v she_o belove_v she_o take_v he_o and_o catch_v he_o and_o hold_v he_o and_o will_v not_o let_v he_o go_v oft_o say_v with_o the_o spouse_n let_v he_o kiss_v i_o with_o the_o kiss_n of_o his_o mouth_n for_o his_o love_n be_v better_a than_o wine_n be_v able_a from_o that_o time_n to_o sing_v the_o sweet_a song_n of_o simeon_n long_v to_o be_v at_o home_n with_o her_o jesus_n oh_o the_o peace_n and_o or_o oh_o the_o bless_a reviving_n and_o quickning_n oh_o the_o prayer_n praise_n and_o admiring_n her_o precious_a soul_n be_v fill_v withal_o from_o that_o day_n forward_o though_o now_o aâ—d_v then_o some_o secret_a withdrawing_n to_o the_o last_o moment_n of_o her_o life_n her_o conversation_n be_v in_o heaven_n she_o walk_v with_o god_n her_o heart_n loosen_a from_o this_o world_n as_o this_o treatise_n full_o speak_v so_o much_o of_o her_o strength_n spirit_n affection_n and_o time_n she_o spend_v in_o closet-meeting_n with_o god_n in_o read_v pray_v meditation_n self-examination_n etc._n etc._n that_o it_o be_v a_o wonder_n her_o poor_a weak_a body_n be_v able_a to_o subsist_v and_o doubtless_o have_v not_o god_n renew_v her_o strength_n anoint_v she_o with_o fresh_a oil_n it_o can_v not_o have_v be_v i_o marvel_v i_o confess_v to_o see_v so_o many_o of_o her_o writing_n find_v in_o her_o closet_n as_o i_o do_v god_n give_v she_o a_o quick_a wit_n a_o large_a understanding_n a_o consider_a spirit_n and_o look_v much_o into_o herself_o teach_v she_o to_o put_v a_o high_a price_n on_o ordinance_n make_v she_o very_o diligent_a in_o the_o use_n of_o all_o mean_v lay_v she_o very_o low_a in_o she_o own_o eye_n with_o much_o self-emptiness_n &_o thus_o bespoko_fw-mi a_o la_fw-fr ge_fw-mi room_n in_o her_o heart_n that_o he_o may_v bestow_v a_o great_a deal_n of_o christ_n therein_o and_o so_o make_v she_o a_o vessel_n capable_a of_o a_o great_a measure_n of_o grace_n then_o i_o be_o persuade_v many_o other_o though_o true_o godly_a attain_v on_o this_o side_n heaven_n so_o exceed_v tender_a be_v her_o heart_n in_o point_n of_o sin_n that_o she_o will_v often_o and_o deep_o judge_v herself_o as_o this_o treatise_n abundant_o show_v for_o pride_n passion_n inordinate_a love_n to_o the_o creature_n neglect_v of_o duty_n to_o her_o relation_n etc._n etc._n whereas_o those_o that_o daily_a converse_v with_o she_o be_v of_o discern_a spirit_n can_v see_v no_o such_o appearance_n but_o the_o contrary_a frame_n of_o spirit_n eminent_o shine_v out_o in_o she_o she_o be_v so_o afraid_a of_o pride_n that_o she_o dare_v not_o wear_v such_o jewel_n &_o apparel_n as_o she_o have_v by_o she_o for_o feâ—r_v her_o heart_n shall_v be_v draw_v from_o god_n thereby_o and_o so_o fearful_a of_o vain_a glory_n that_o though_o she_o have_v this_o treatise_n of_o the_o income_n of_o god_n lie_v by_o she_o yet_o not_o any_o no_o not_o her_o dear_a parent_n ever_o know_v thereof_o till_o they_o find_v it_o in_o her_o closet_n after_o her_o death_n her_o sell_v leave_v this_o as_o the_o reason_n lest_o her_o wretched_a heart_n shall_v be_v lift_v up_o and_o other_o shall_v think_v better_o of_o she_o than_o be_v meet_v she_o be_v such_o a_o high_a prizer_n of_o ordinance_n that_o she_o forget_v the_o weakness_n of_o her_o own_o body_n the_o length_n of_o the_o way_n &_o many_o other_o obstructon_n will_v frequent_o break_v through_o all_o to_o enjoy_v they_o and_o when_o she_o be_v to_o hear_v she_o first_o be_v full_a of_o prayer_n to_o god_n to_o meet_v she_o therein_o and_o make_v out_o some_o discovery_n to_o her_o soul_n which_o the_o lord_n usual_o do_v and_o she_o straight_o observe_v god_n income_n return_v with_o praise_n her_o deep_a acknowledgement_n of_o the_o same_o no_o small_a importunity_n of_o very_a many_o godly_a that_o know_v she_o have_v force_v the_o publish_n of_o this_o treatise_n and_o other_o of_o long_o stand_v in_o christ_n and_o eminent_a grace_n who_o have_v see_v some_o of_o it_o in_o manuscript_n have_v free_o confess_v they_o never_o look_v into_o it_o but_o be_v much_o humble_v to_o so_o how_o short_a themselves_o come_v in_o such_o heart-searching_n self-judging_n close-walkings_a with_o god_n and_o such_o observe_n of_o the_o answer_n of_o their_o prayer_n as_o they_o read_v in_o this_o her_o daily_a practice_n i_o hope_v it_o may_v be_v useful_a in_o these_o decline_a time_n to_o convince_v some_o christian_n of_o their_o slackness_n and_o awaken_v other_o and_o show_v they_o how_o to_o make_v more_o heart-work_n by_o the_o example_n of_o one_o of_o the_o weak_a sex_n and_o if_o to_o thy_o knowledge_n it_o shall_v not_o add_v much_o yet_o to_o thy_o spirit_n and_o practise_v it_o may_v conduce_v not_o a_o little_a thou_o in_o our_o dear_a lord_n and_o head_n tho._n weld_n to_o all_o that_o love_v the_o appearance_n of_o the_o lord_n jesus_n grace_n and_o peace_n be_v call_v upon_o by_o the_o earnest_a importunity_n of_o many_o gracious_a soul_n to_o give_v forth_o my_o testimony_n of_o this_o bless_a servant_n of_o christ_n mr_n anne_n venn_n and_o have_v have_v many_o year_n converse_v about_o the_o great_a matter_n of_o eternal_a life_n with_o she_o and_o enjoy_v her_o society_n for_o some_o year_n in_o the_o holy_a fellowship_n of_o the_o gospel_n i_o can_v not_o but_o present_a to_o the_o saint_n the_o sweet_a savour_n of_o her_o holy_a walk_n in_o which_o she_o be_v a_o lively_a example_n to_o all_o that_o know_v she_o the_o lord_n first_o break_v in_o upon_o her_o heart_n by_o the_o frequent_a impression_n of_o the_o word_n as_o they_o be_v instill_v into_o she_o by_o her_o honour_a father_n who_o practice_n be_v to_o reinforce_v the_o truth_n public_o preach_v
that_o his_o soul_n abhor_v and_o lie_v under_o the_o apprehension_n of_o myself_o as_o one_o cast_v off_o by_o god_n who_o he_o never_o regard_v have_v pour_v out_o my_o soul_n before_o he_o and_o beg_v a_o soft_a heart_n and_o a_o renew_a and_o change_v nature_n urge_v he_o often_o with_o that_o similitude_n of_o a_o child_n come_v to_o his_o father_n to_o beg_v bread_n mat._n 7._o 9_o 10_o 11._o or_o rather_o in_o my_o apprehension_n find_v my_o heart_n grow_v more_o hard_a and_o my_o affection_n more_o cold_a and_o lukewarm_a i_o lay_v under_o another_o temptation_n from_o satan_n that_o sure_o i_o be_v but_o a_o hypocrite_n in_o all_o that_o i_o do_v and_o therefore_o shall_v but_o heap_v up_o wrath_n against_o myself_o as_o in_o job_n 36._o 13._o and_o this_o be_v set_v home_o upon_o my_o spirit_n upon_o several_a ground_n as_o 1._o because_o as_o he_o tell_v i_o i_o do_v not_o so_o much_o aim_v at_o the_o glory_n of_o god_n as_o at_o that_o happy_a estate_n which_o be_v to_o be_v enjoy_v in_o heaven_n 2._o because_o i_o can_v not_o find_v my_o love_n work_v so_o strong_o towards_o god_n as_o towards_o myself_o desire_v to_o be_v free_v from_o the_o torment_n of_o hell_n which_o i_o conceive_v to_o be_v intolerable_a as_o also_o 3._o find_v sometime_o a_o kind_n of_o secret_a desire_n that_o some_o body_n may_v hear_v or_o know_v of_o my_o performance_n of_o duty_n etc._n etc._n though_o i_o never_o dare_v act_n in_o any_o measure_n so_o as_o that_o it_o may_v be_v discern_v but_o always_o strive_v to_o my_o utmost_a ability_n to_o conceal_v what_o ever_o possible_o i_o may_v yet_o find_v sometime_o some_o such_o desire_n of_o vain_a glory_n in_o my_o spirit_n that_o though_o i_o do_v do_v it_o thus_o private_o yet_o if_o it_o can_v have_v be_v know_v and_o not_o by_o my_o mean_n i_o think_v i_o can_v be_v content_a and_o this_o also_o lay_v as_o a_o heavy_a weight_n upon_o my_o spirit_n to_o think_v that_o there_o shall_v such_o wicked_a vain_a and_o sinful_a thought_n and_o desire_n be_v suggest_v to_o i_o or_o for_o anytime_n though_o never_o so_o small_a lodge_v within_o i_o jer._n 4._o 14._o which_o when_o i_o begin_v to_o consider_v sad_o of_o do_v but_o still_o renew_v and_o increase_v my_o trouble_n and_o fear_n be_v a_o discovery_n of_o the_o hypocrisy_n that_o be_v in_o my_o heart_n and_o for_o the_o most_o part_n of_o this_o my_o trouble_n i_o lay_v under_o such_o a_o sense_n of_o the_o wrath_n of_o god_n that_o i_o think_v that_o all_o i_o have_v and_o enjoy_v be_v curse_v to_o i_o often_o admire_v that_o every_o bit_n of_o bread_n i_o eat_v do_v not_o choke_v i_o or_o every_o creature_n do_v not_o put_v a_o end_n to_o my_o life_n often_o fear_v that_o the_o company_n i_o be_v in_o shall_v fare_v the_o worse_a for_o i_o in_o so_o much_o that_o if_o i_o go_v by_o water_n or_o the_o like_a i_o still_o conceive_v i_o may_v be_v a_o occasion_n of_o drown_v all_o those_o that_o be_v with_o i_o oh_o how_o desirous_a be_v my_o soul_n at_o this_o time_n of_o the_o help_n and_o counsel_n of_o my_o godly_a wise_a friend_n and_o christian_n but_o through_o many_o and_o sundry_a temptation_n still_o deprive_v myself_o of_o it_o and_o of_o the_o benefit_n i_o may_v have_v gain_v by_o it_o through_o my_o wicked_a silence_n in_o all_o company_n and_o loathness_n to_o impart_v my_o condition_n to_o any_o sometime_o my_o wicked_a corrupt_a heart_n will_v base_o suggest_v to_o i_o that_o i_o be_v not_o able_a to_o discourse_v or_o speak_v of_o any_o spiritual_a thing_n and_o therefore_o i_o shall_v but_o only_o thereby_o discover_v my_o own_o ignorance_n and_o no_o way_n advantage_v myself_o etc._n etc._n which_o when_o i_o be_v enable_v still_o to_o consider_v better_o of_o recollect_v my_o thought_n and_o call_v they_o into_o question_n as_o it_o be_v then_o come_v the_o devil_n and_o tell_v i_o that_o this_o do_v but_o note_v my_o hypocrisy_n and_o far_o when_o i_o have_v be_v trouble_v with_o it_o to_o think_v that_o i_o shall_v give_v way_n to_o such_o wicked_a thought_n as_o these_o then_o come_v in_o satan_n again_o on_o the_o other_o side_n and_o tell_v i_o that_o if_o i_o shall_v put_v myself_o forward_o in_o any_o discourse_n i_o shall_v but_o thereby_o cause_v other_o to_o have_v a_o better_a opinion_n of_o i_o than_o indeed_o i_o deserve_v and_o so_o deceive_v other_o and_o delude_v my_o own_o soul_n and_o this_o latter_a temptation_n be_v that_o which_o indeed_o do_v often_o prevail_v with_o i_o be_v ever_o most_o of_o all_o prone_a to_o fear_v the_o delusion_n of_o my_o own_o heart_n and_o so_o esteem_v my_o condition_n to_o be_v better_a than_o it_o be_v this_o go_v on_o in_o this_o way_n of_o wicked_a silence_n make_v many_o of_o my_o christian_a friend_n i_o do_v real_o believe_v not_o know_v what_o to_o think_v of_o i_o but_o be_v as_o it_o be_v estrange_v from_o i_o which_o i_o soon_o perceive_v it_o be_v a_o most_o heavy_a affliction_n to_o i_o &_o such_o as_o the_o searcher_n of_o heart_n know_v lay_v very_o sad_o upon_o my_o spirit_n which_o yet_o i_o can_v not_o in_o any_o measure_n make_v know_v to_o they_o but_o between_o god_n and_o my_o own_o soul_n condole_v this_o my_o miserable_a condition_n then_o be_v to_o remove_v out_o of_o london_n which_o be_v a_o exceed_a trouble_n to_o i_o to_o consider_v how_o we_o shall_v by_o it_o be_v deprive_v of_o those_o mean_n which_o we_o there_o may_v enjoy_v although_o indeed_o neither_o my_o father_n mother_n or_o myself_o can_v enjoy_v our_o health_n there_o and_o remove_v into_o the_o country_n about_o the_o year_n 1647._o i_o find_v the_o ministry_n under_o which_o i_o then_o be_v exceed_o dead_a and_o spiritless_a then_o when_o i_o come_v home_o i_o think_v i_o know_v as_o much_o and_o no_o more_o to_o my_o edification_n in_o that_o condition_n i_o be_v in_o than_o i_o do_v when_o i_o go_v the_o subject_n which_o be_v then_o and_o for_o a_o long_a time_n together_o treat_v on_o be_v that_o scripture_n gen._n 2._o 7._o the_o lord_n breathe_v into_o man_n the_o breath_n of_o life_n and_o man_n become_v a_o live_a soul_n the_o main_a scope_n of_o the_o minister_n be_v to_o show_v what_o the_o natural_a soul_n be_v that_o god_n have_v put_v into_o man_n handle_v it_o as_o i_o conceive_v more_o like_a a_o philosopher_n than_o a_o gospel-preacher_n which_o notional_a thing_n be_v not_o those_o which_o can_v satisfy_v my_o soul_n which_o want_v now_o some_o support_n from_o heaven_n in_o this_o sad_a droop_a condition_n i_o be_v in_o but_o meet_v with_o nothing_o suitable_a to_o my_o present_a estate_n and_o be_v here_o cast_v in_o a_o place_n where_o i_o be_v deprive_v of_o all_o other_o mean_n i_o grow_v still_o into_o a_o more_o sad_a condition_n every_o day_n then_o do_v i_o lie_v under_o a_o very_a sad_a and_o strange_a temptation_n to_o neglect_v the_o ordinance_n of_o preach_v which_o be_v ground_v upon_o the_o pretence_n that_o i_o may_v improve_v my_o time_n at_o home_n to_o my_o more_o spiritual_a advantage_n which_o temptation_n i_o often_o yield_v to_o and_o when_o i_o have_v any_o opportunity_n or_o seem_a excuse_n by_o reason_n of_o any_o small_a bodily_a distemper_n either_o the_o headache_n or_o the_o like_a i_o still_o take_v those_o occasion_n to_o stay_v at_o home_n and_o so_o yield_v to_o the_o temptation_n and_o thus_o i_o do_v often_o but_o when_o i_o come_v still_o at_o night_n to_o a_o review_n of_o what_o i_o have_v do_v and_o how_o i_o have_v spend_v my_o time_n in_o each_o of_o these_o day_n as_o also_o what_o i_o have_v gain_v i_o find_v it_o to_o be_v so_o little_a through_o one_o temptation_n or_o other_o that_o i_o now_o begin_v to_o conceive_v and_o fear_v that_o it_o be_v only_o a_o temptation_n of_o the_o devil_n to_o bring_v i_o out_o of_o love_n with_o the_o ordinance_n of_o god_n whereupon_o the_o lord_n also_o enable_v i_o to_o begin_v to_o take_v a_o view_n of_o my_o own_o heart_n endeavour_v to_o persuade_v myself_o that_o the_o fault_n be_v only_o in_o i_o and_o that_o sure_o i_o be_v some_o way_n or_o other_o prejudice_v against_o the_o man_n or_o his_o preach_n not_o look_v as_o i_o ought_v to_o the_o power_n of_o god_n which_o be_v able_a to_o bless_v that_o mean_n to_o i_o that_o he_o have_v now_o cast_v i_o under_o contrary_a to_o my_o desire_n and_o that_o it_o be_v therefore_o just_a with_o god_n to_o let_v it_o be_v to_o i_o according_a to_o my_o unbeleef_n whereupon_o i_o begin_v again_o to_o examine_v my_o own_o heart_n whether_o or_o no_o i_o have_v any_o kind_n of_o prejudice_n against_o the_o man_n which_o
commander_n isai_n 55._o 4._o oh_o behold_v he_o as_o sâ—…h_v a_o one_o behold_v he_o above_o all_o not_o only_o to_o help_v at_o a_o dead_a lift_n when_o your_o own_o righteousness_n can_v do_v it_o but_o behold_v he_o above_o all_o as_o the_o only_a governor_n of_o your_o soul_n look_v on_o he_o with_o a_o eye_n of_o dependence_n wait_v for_o the_o accomplishment_n of_o his_o work_n in_o your_o soul_n and_o mourn_v to_o think_v that_o though_o he_o be_v give_v to_o govern_v you_o that_o you_o shall_v be_v govern_v of_o yourselves_o without_o he_o and_o so_o grieve_v he_o and_o if_o christ_n be_v appoint_v by_o the_o father_n to_o govern_v the_o gentile_n then_o ask_v your_o own_o heart_n who_o govern_v you_o who_o law_n do_v you_o obey_v what_o rule_n do_v you_o walk_v by_o what_o end_n do_v you_o aim_v at_o and_o true_o upon_o examination_n find_v that_o christ_n of_o his_o own_o rich_a grace_n have_v be_v thus_o at_o work_n in_o my_o heart_n and_o this_o whole_a discourse_v be_v as_o it_o be_v but_o a_o declaration_n of_o his_o deal_n with_o my_o soul_n which_o i_o can_v not_o pass_v by_o without_o set_v down_o and_o put_v it_o upon_o record_n it_o seem_v to_o i_o even_o as_o if_o the_o lord_n have_v speak_v from_o heaven_n to_o my_o soul_n in_o particular_a therefore_o i_o think_v i_o shall_v much_o dishonour_v he_o if_o i_o shall_v not_o to_o his_o praise_n in_o the_o desire_n of_o my_o soul_n acknowledge_v that_o every_o one_o of_o these_o mark_n of_o christ_n have_v be_v in_o some_o measure_n some_o more_o some_o less_o through_o grace_n wrought_v by_o he_o in_o my_o heart_n though_o i_o must_v still_o acknowledge_v that_o there_o be_v too_o much_o opposition_n against_o he_o in_o my_o soul_n which_o i_o desire_v to_o wait_v and_o do_v expect_v according_a as_o have_v be_v express_v the_o utter_a subdue_a thereof_o which_o time_n i_o hope_v haste_v when_o christ_n will_v come_v &_o take_v up_o full_a possession_n of_o my_o soul_n &_o rule_v in_o it_o and_o over_o it_o for_o ever_o the_o same_o day_n in_o the_o close_a of_o it_o mr._n knight_n spend_v a_o little_a time_n upon_o esay_n 65._o 24._o from_o which_o there_o be_v also_o many_o gracious_a discovery_n hint_v out_o to_o my_o soul_n concern_v god_n readiness_n to_o hear_v before_o his_o people_n call_v where_o he_o put_v we_o upon_o warchfulness_n what_o work_n christ_n be_v about_o in_o the_o nation_n which_o the_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o make_v as_o a_o spur_n to_o my_o dull_a spirit_n to_o look_v out_o what_o that_o work_n be_v that_o god_n be_v now_o do_v or_o about_o to_o do_v in_o my_o heart_n even_o i_o hope_v fit_v of_o i_o for_o a_o more_o full_a enjoyment_n of_o himself_o then_o do_v the_o lord_n also_o by_o his_o servant_n declare_v out_o to_o we_o in_o these_o latter_a day_n these_o gospel_n time_n wherein_o god_n hasten_v his_o work_n which_o thorough_o i_o find_v to_o be_v make_v good_a to_o my_o poor_a soul_n the_o lord_n have_v be_v please_v exceed_o to_o hasten_v his_o work_n upon_o my_o heart_n and_o the_o manifestation_n of_o his_o bless_a face_n to_o my_o soul_n even_o fast_o than_o my_o scant_a heart_n can_v imagine_v which_o appearance_n of_o this_o in_o his_o manner_n cause_v my_o soul_n to_o enter_v into_o these_o serious_a thought_n and_o consideration_n whether_o i_o may_v not_o hence_o argue_v that_o sure_a the_o lord_n be_v nigh_o the_o accomplishment_n of_o it_o by_o put_v a_o end_n to_o to_o the_o sinful_a day_n of_o my_o pilgrimage_n here_o below_o yea_o here_o do_v the_o lord_n show_v i_o that_o whatever_o it_o be_v that_o lie_v in_o the_o way_n when_o he_o come_v to_o do_v this_o great_a work_n he_o will_v remove_v or_o down_o with_o it_o and_o true_o this_o i_o see_v through_o grace_n to_o be_v his_o manner_n of_o deal_n with_o my_o soul_n be_v it_o my_o own_o righteousness_n be_v it_o mere_a relation_n on_o who_o i_o too_o much_o lean_v and_o conceive_v my_o happiness_n to_o lie_v much_o in_o be_v it_o what_o it_o will_v christ_n will_v remove_v it_o when_o he_o come_v to_o do_v his_o great_a work_n therefore_o as_o i_o be_v then_o teach_v i_o ought_v to_o rely_v still_o upon_o christ_n readiness_n which_o the_o lord_n grant_v i_o may_v there_o be_v also_o hint_v to_o we_o that_o nothing_o be_v satisfactory_a to_o the_o saint_n call_v but_o god_n answer_n where_o the_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o convince_v my_o soul_n of_o the_o evil_a that_o i_o have_v so_o long_o be_v guilty_a of_o that_o i_o still_o pour_v out_o my_o prayer_n before_o the_o lord_n but_o never_o regard_v any_o answer_n conclude_v that_o god_n will_v never_o answer_v they_o and_o true_o now_o the_o lord_n have_v be_v please_v to_o show_v i_o that_o it_o be_v a_o great_a sin_n in_o i_o to_o content_v myself_o in_o pour_v out_o my_o desire_n and_o never_o look_v after_o the_o return_n of_o they_o until_o the_o lord_n be_v please_v sudden_o and_o in_o a_o unexpected_a manner_n and_o measure_n as_o he_o have_v promise_v to_o come_v in_o with_o a_o answer_n to_o my_o soul_n even_o before_o i_o think_v of_o it_o or_o expect_v it_o though_o i_o have_v often_o beg_v it_o of_o the_o lord_n another_o thing_n be_v then_o hint_v to_o my_o soul_n which_o the_o lord_n have_v be_v please_v to_o give_v i_o much_o experience_n of_o to_o wit_n what_o a_o bless_a thing_n it_o be_v and_o comfortable_a to_o the_o soul_n to_o have_v mercy_n come_v in_o as_o a_o answer_n to_o prayer_n which_o be_v that_o which_o make_v they_o sweet_a indeed_o to_o that_o soul_n that_o enjoy_v they_o there_o be_v also_o at_o this_o bless_a season_n that_o objection_n answer_v that_o the_o saint_n often_o pray_v and_o yet_o god_n do_v not_o answer_v show_v first_o that_o many_o time_n they_o do_v not_o well_o understand_v god_n answer_n but_o his_o answer_n be_v very_o full_a though_o they_o understand_v they_o not_o second_o yea_o sometime_o he_o answer_v by_o converse_v with_o the_o soul_n at_o that_o time_n admit_v they_o into_o his_o presence_n with_o that_o freedom_n three_o by_o give_v of_o they_o strength_n of_o grace_n for_o the_o attendance_n and_o wait_v upon_o he_o four_o sometime_o by_o awaken_n of_o the_o soul_n by_o a_o due_a prize_v of_o the_o mercy_n beg_v five_o sometime_o by_o give_v in_o of_o mercy_n that_o be_v not_o in_o the_o same_o kind_a the_o soul_n will_v have_v they_o every_o of_o which_o way_n i_o now_o see_v the_o lord_n have_v answer_v those_o prayer_n which_o former_o i_o think_v have_v be_v cover_v with_o a_o cloud_n from_o all_o which_o do_v the_o lord_n stir_v up_o my_o soul_n to_o a_o quick_a lively_a diligent_a search_n into_o the_o answer_n of_o prayer_n that_o have_v be_v put_v up_o to_o the_o lord_n by_o my_o poor_a soul_n for_o many_o year_n pass_v to_o this_o day_n in_o the_o search_n of_o which_o i_o find_v many_o rich_a answer_n that_o i_o have_v long_o rob_v the_o lord_n of_o the_o glory_n of_o the_o nine_o of_o march_n do_v the_o lord_n please_v to_o send_v that_o servant_n of_o his_o mr._n marshal_n to_o the_o chapel_n at_o fulham_n who_o do_v from_o the_o lord_n declare_v a_o most_o gracious_a and_o comfortable_a word_n to_o my_o soul_n which_o the_o lord_n please_v to_o bless_v to_o i_o and_o may_v be_v ground_n for_o my_o faith_n while_o i_o have_v a_o day_n to_o live_v in_o this_o sinful_a world_n that_o which_o the_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o hint_n from_o he_o 1_o ephes_n 22_o 23._o from_o which_o he_o take_v occasion_n to_o show_v we_o that_o christ_n do_v stand_v in_o that_o relation_n to_o all_o his_o saint_n as_o the_o natural_a head_n do_v to_o the_o natural_a body_n and_o that_o therefore_o as_o in_o the_o natural_a body_n all_o those_o perfection_n that_o be_v in_o the_o head_n be_v in_o it_o for_o the_o good_a and_o use_n of_o the_o whole_a body_n and_o that_o if_o every_o limb_n and_o joint_n if_o it_o can_v speak_v it_o may_v say_v i_o be_o at_o ease_n i_o can_v see_v taste_n smell_v and_o the_o like_a therefore_o all_o these_o perfection_n in_o christ_n the_o head_n be_v in_o he_o for_o the_o good_a and_o use_n of_o every_o one_o of_o his_o member_n what_o ever_o can_v be_v speak_v concern_v christ_n as_o undertake_v the_o work_n of_o man_n salvation_n they_o be_v these_o perfection_n of_o christ_n the_o head_n as_o for_o example_n as_o the_o fullness_n of_o christ_n person_n his_o divine_a and_o humane_a perfection_n all_o the_o excellency_n of_o his_o office_n all_o his_o merit_n and_o all_o his_o satisfaction_n gift_n grace_n every_o thing_n that_o can_v be_v true_o speak_v of_o christ_n since_o he_o be_v design_v of_o god_n
hypocrite_n or_o afraid_a to_o hear_v what_o conscience_n say_v oh_o how_o sweet_o be_v this_o truth_n improve_v this_o day_n by_o application_n as_o first_o to_o teach_v we_o to_o admire_v the_o goodness_n of_o god_n in_o place_v such_o a_o witness_n in_o every_o man_n bosom_n yea_o how_o good_a it_o be_v for_o the_o saint_n that_o this_o be_v set_v up_o in_o wicked_a man_n for_o some_o time_n there_o be_v action_n do_v by_o wicked_a man_n against_o god_n people_n that_o there_o be_v no_o winess_n but_o their_o own_o conscience_n which_o testify_v against_o they_o of_o all_o their_o hard_a speech_n and_o thought_n and_o word_n and_o the_o like_a yea_o how_o good_a be_v it_o for_o the_o saint_n also_o in_o this_o for_o have_v they_o not_o this_o witness_n in_o themselves_o how_o bitter_a will_v the_o reproach_n of_o the_o world_n be_v to_o they_o we_o be_v exhort_v to_o take_v heed_n how_o we_o walk_v towards_o conscience_n it_o be_v by_o god_n set_v as_o a_o watch_n over_o we_o oh_o than_o take_v heed_n that_o we_o withdraw_v not_o from_o it_o nay_o it_o be_v true_a it_o will_v follow_v you_o but_o labour_n to_o keep_v it_o in_o your_o sight_n and_o when_o you_o be_v to_o do_v any_o civil_a or_o religious_a work_n call_v it_o in_o and_o say_v conscience_n what_o say_v thou_o to_o this_o or_o that_o action_n be_v it_o according_a to_o the_o will_n and_o mind_n of_o god_n and_o give_v it_o leave_v to_o speak_v out_o yea_o and_o give_v time_n also_o for_o oftentimes_o the_o affair_n of_o the_o world_n hinder_v that_o conscience_n have_v not_o time_n to_o speak_v its_o mind_n 2_o to_o take_v heed_n we_o grieve_v it_o not_o for_o its_o complaint_n will_v be_v hear_v in_o heaven_n therefore_o take_v heed_n of_o do_v any_o thing_n against_o conscience_n 3._o awe_o it_o as_o a_o judge_n and_o be_v content_a to_o be_v judge_v by_o it_o in_o all_o you_o do_v for_o it_o will_v be_v your_o judge_n another_o day_n and_o will_v be_v a_o immortal_a witness_n either_o in_o point_n of_o comfort_n or_o terror_n oh_o therefore_o awe_v it_o 1._o do_v you_o take_v of_o heed_n of_o slight_a conscience_n or_o its_o testimony_n for_o therein_o you_o commit_v great_a injury_n to_o god_n it_o be_v his_o ambassador_n and_o by_o he_o set_v in_o you_o 2._o it_o be_v great_a folly_n also_o to_o stop_v its_o mouth_n for_o 1._o all_o your_o hinder_v it_o or_o endeavour_v to_o do_v so_o will_v but_o prove_v a_o aggravation_n of_o its_o witness_n another_o day_n against_o you_o than_o it_o will_v tell_v you_o that_o it_o will_v have_v speak_v plain_o to_o you_o such_o and_o such_o a_o time_n but_o you_o will_v not_o hear_v you_o be_v so_o busy_a in_o the_o world_n or_o the_o like_a the_o reason_n why_o saint_n do_v no_o more_o rejoice_v be_v because_o they_o walk_v no_o more_o in_o the_o testimony_n of_o their_o own_o conscience_n we_o be_v also_o exhort_v in_o the_o conclusion_n to_o be_v very_o tender_a of_o do_v any_o thing_n without_o a_o solemn_a court_n of_o conscience_n rashness_n be_v the_o worst_a evil_n conscience_n be_v god_n witness_n let_v it_o be_v you_o give_v it_o full_a liberty_n therefore_o to_o speak_v and_o say_v all_o it_o can_v ask_v it_o again_o and_o again_o what_o it_o say_v to_o this_o and_o that_o action_n and_o may_v be_v it_o will_v give_v thou_o that_o testimony_n that_o through_o rashness_n and_o hastiness_n it_o have_v not_o time_n to_o speak_v or_o thou_o to_o hear_v it_o oh_o what_o sensible_a hint_n be_v these_o to_o my_o poor_a soul_n if_o the_o lord_n will_v but_o please_v to_o bless_v they_o effectual_o to_o i_o and_o help_v i_o to_o put_v they_o in_o practice_n daily_a the_o lord_n have_v see_v meet_a to_o call_v our_o brother_n Ê‹ilet_n ont_fw-fr of_o this_o world_n i_o hear_v that_o he_o be_v to_o be_v bury_v at_o fulham_n this_o afternoon_n and_o our_o pastor_n to_o preach_v which_o occasion_v i_o great_o to_o desire_v to_o hear_v he_o which_o also_o i_o do_v though_o it_o be_v exceed_v late_o at_o which_o time_n he_o speak_v from_o 1_o joh._n 3._o 2._o now_o be_v we_o the_o son_n of_o â—od_a but_o it_o do_v not_o yet_o appear_v what_o we_o shall_v be_v etc._n etc._n from_o which_o there_o be_v most_o seasonable_a bless_a truth_n hint_v to_o my_o soul_n that_o which_o he_o press_v be_v that_o what_o the_o saint_n shall_v be_v it_o do_v not_o appear_v then_o he_o show_v it_o do_v not_o appear_v first_o to_o the_o saint_n themselves_o 1._o because_o of_o the_o little_a light_n the_o saint_n have_v of_o this_o glory_n nay_o if_o god_n shall_v reveal_v more_o they_o can_v not_o bear_v it_o in_o this_o state_n 2._o in_o regard_n of_o our_o not_z improvement_n of_o the_o discovery_n make_v of_o our_o future_a estate_n 3._o because_o their_o present_a estate_n be_v compass_v with_o sin_n and_o affliction_n both_o which_o do_v obstruct_v the_o sight_n of_o this_o glory_n but_o more_o particular_o the_o reason_n why_o it_o do_v not_o appear_v he_o show_v be_v these_o 1._o from_o the_o many_o diversion_n of_o the_o spirit_n of_o saint_n that_o turn_v they_o aside_o from_o behold_v their_o glory_n to_o come_v how_o do_v the_o toy_n and_o bauble_n of_o this_o world_n divert_v they_o from_o behold_v of_o this_o and_o so_o their_o estate_n do_v not_o appear_v to_o they_o 2._o it_o come_v from_o inconstancy_n of_o spirit_n because_o their_o heart_n do_v not_o dwell_v on_o those_o thing_n no_o man_n be_v excellent_a in_o that_o his_o heart_n and_o thought_n dwell_v not_o upon_o so_o here_o 3._o from_o the_o weakness_n of_o our_o faith_n for_o we_o live_v now_o by_o faith_n but_o when_o christ_n shall_v appear_v than_o you_o shall_v live_v by_o sight_n so_o that_o while_o you_o be_v here_o your_o sight_n be_v according_a to_o your_o faith_n if_o your_o faith_n be_v right_a and_o straight_o like_o stephens_n then_o have_v you_o a_o strong_a sight_n of_o glory_n 4._o it_o appear_v not_o from_o the_o remainder_n of_o corruption_n that_o abide_v in_o we_o every_o sin_n veil_v the_o sight_n of_o this_o glory_n 5._o god_n himself_o be_v please_v sometime_o to_o exercise_v his_o saint_n not_o only_o under_o darkness_n in_o the_o sight_n of_o their_o future_a estate_n but_o also_o of_o their_o present_a estate_n and_o so_o they_o walk_v in_o the_o dark_a and_o this_o god_n do_v for_o high_a and_o holy_a end_n and_o give_v great_a instruction_n through_o it_o no_o his_o saint_n to_o look_v up_o to_o he_o for_o life_n and_o wait_v on_o he_o for_o the_o manifestation_n of_o his_o love_n and_o their_o future_a estate_n and_o to_o make_v they_o see_v that_o it_o flow_v from_o nothing_o in_o they_o but_o from_o he_o only_o eternal_a life_n be_v not_o only_o the_o gift_n of_o god_n but_o even_o the_o light_n whereby_o we_o see_v it_o 2._o this_o glory_n appear_v not_o to_o the_o world_n also_o and_o that_o 1._o because_o the_o world_n see_v only_o the_o outside_n of_o a_o godly_a man_n his_o shell_n but_o they_o see_v not_o the_o glory_n of_o his_o inside_n they_o see_v their_o poverty_n and_o contempt_n and_o reproach_n etc._n etc._n but_o they_o see_v not_o the_o glorious_a work_n of_o god_n on_o their_o soul_n or_o operation_n of_o his_o spirit_n in_o they_o 2_o it_o appear_v not_o to_o the_o world_n because_o the_o saint_n have_v their_o cloud_n upon_o they_o the_o best_a have_v their_o infirmity_n and_o these_o the_o world_n look_v most_o upon_o wicked_a man_n be_v blind_a and_o can_v see_v for_o spiritual_a thing_n must_v be_v spiritual_o discern_v because_o many_o time_n there_o be_v difference_n among_o the_o saint_n themselves_o and_o this_o darken_v their_o glory_n to_o the_o world_n who_o see_v they_o dispute_v about_o religion_n and_o the_o like_a the_o world_n judge_v of_o their_o future_a estate_n by_o their_o present_a condition_n if_o man_n flourish_v here_o than_o they_o judge_v well_o of_o they_o if_o they_o lie_v under_o trouble_n they_o judge_v they_o hate_v of_o god_n and_o thus_o god_n suffer_v this_o darkness_n about_o their_o future_a estate_n to_o humble_v his_o saint_n and_o make_v they_o cry_v to_o he_o for_o light_n to_o manifest_v the_o sincerity_n of_o the_o saint_n to_o set_v they_o a_o longing_n after_o eternity_n where_o they_o shall_v have_v full_a and_o clear_a sight_n to_o make_v glory_n appear_v glory_n indeed_o if_o the_o glitter_a here_o be_v glorious_a what_o shall_v the_o full_a be_v that_o it_o appear_v not_o be_v out_o of_o just_a judgement_n from_o god_n to_o this_o wicked_a world_n who_o do_v hate_n and_o contemn_v they_o therefore_o god_n will_v not_o let_v they_o see_v their_o glory_n they_o shall_v only_o know_v it_o by_o feel_v the_o contrary_a and_o the_o want_n of_o it_o there_o