soul in former dayes in the Night-seasons and how sweet my Meditation of him hath been Night and Morning upon my Bed and how barren my heart hath been for some time of late in these Meditations and how the Lord hath seemed to withdraw these thoughts did put me upon it the tenth of this second Month in the Evening to beg of God that as he had formerly appeared in such seasons that he would please to return that mercy even by those torches of his hand whereby my Nights are very wearisome to my body by reason of my extream Cough truly I did the more press it upon the Lord in my desires having much groaned to think that Night would be very wearisom to me more then any formerly by reason of my distemper but my good God who worketh all things after the counsel of his own Will and not according to our thoughts or fears or hopes so ordered it that what I had reason most to fear he gave me least to feel and though I was much distempered in my head when I vvent to bed by reason of my cold that vvas so great yet did he give me very good rest all the fore-part of the night vvhich vvhen I avvaked tovvards morning and began to consider Oh I could not but admire but vvithal began to think that though my desires about this vvere ansvvered and though I had rest of body yet no communion vvith my God or reasonings with my own heart which I intended to have parlyed a little with while I had these thoughts and the like lying in a slumbering vvay there vvas this thought brought to my mind which Mr. Cradock the fourth day of this second Month mentioned upon another occasion the words were these That vain man would be wise that was born like a wild Asses Colt These words ran much in my mind and some thoughts were given in upon them with a great desire I might not forget them but might in the Morning see and finde out that place of Scripture but the Lord giving me as I thought an opportunity and so much strength as to go and hear Mr. Cradick I hasted as soon as I could get up to prepare for going but when we came there having prayed to the Lord in some few words that he would please to give me some sight of himself some transforming sight and some kisses from his lips this day but going there we were disappointed for that exercise was for some occasions put off to next morning and so we came home again and coming home being a little sadned in my spirit thinking of my Morning-desires when an answer should be of them or how looked for I sate me down and fell to reading a little of Mr. Cradocks Sermon before mentioned and meeting with these vvords Oh vain man that would be wise put me again in mind of my Night-thoughts and fell to looking the Scripture and found it in Job 11. 12. For vain man would be wise though man be born like a wild Asses Colt some hints there were that fell upon my heart this night from these vvords Vain man would be wise Good God! hath not this been my condition this poor vain creature would I not fain be wise and thought to be so and often prided my self in the thoughts of it for which the Lord righteously shevvs me novv and then my folly yet how fain would I be wise in chalking out Waies for the Lord to walk in tovvards me even as if I knew better what were good for me then God or how to accomplish that Work in my soul better then he and therefore am I so ready to prescribe to him Wayes yea and if he refuses and rejects them as for the most part he is pleased in mercy to do blessed be his Name Oh! how sadly doth it often lie upon my spirit and how apt am I to think hardly of the Lord that truly he doth not mean me any good in denying me this or that I desire And for the later vvords though man be born like a wild Asse Colt concerning vvhich I had some scattered thoughts but not so composed as afterwards But after I had come home from James next day and had looked this Scripture and found it sitting and pausing a vvhile upon it my spirit being very much sadned and unfit for any serious spiritual meditation at last I betook my self to some short requests to the Lord telling him That as he vvas pleased thus to disappoint my expectation of the publike enjoyment yet in him there was a fulness of all povver and ability thereby being as able to speak to me by his own spirit something that might be of spiritual advantage some transforming vvords which he is able to do as vvell in private as in publike which I did now beg of him and to that end besought him to lead me by the hand this day and guide me into the Way and put me upon the Work and that he would please to appear to me with many other requests both for my own soul and others in relation to me But not knowing vvhat Work to set upon this day or what to take in hand but waiting upon the Lords direction having many things in my thoughts to do but desirous of some vvord from God to my poor soul but this vvord in Job 11. 12. following me still I fell to some further thoughts of it and ruminating on the latter clause of being like the wild Asse I began to think what that Scripture did record of this creature that I saw did resemble me fully and there these words of the Prophet brought to my minde that it went up and down snuffing up the Wind and is ready to be found in her moneth which words I found in Jeremiah 2. 24. A wild Asse used to the wilderness that snuffeth up the wind at her pleasure in her occasion who can turn her away all these that seek her will weary themselves in her Month they shall find her In which as also in most part of the chapter I find many things that sate very close to me the Lord began thus it was with me for in v. 2. I remember saith he the kindnest of thy youth the love of thine espousals when thou wentest after me in the Wilderness in a Land that was not sown In the time of thy darkness sorrows and tears and bondage when thou wentest after me and often in the bitterness of thy soul resolved to follow me through this Wilderness though thou shouldest perish in so doing yea resolving so to follow me as that thy heart was then fully as it vvere taken off from all but me thou didst desire nothing but my self But ver 5. What Iniquity have your Fathers found in me that you go from me to follow after vanity How righteously may the Lord say thus to me vvas he not better to me by far then ever I expected or could have believed v. 6. Neither said they Where
the Lord would be pleased to pardon all the unbeleeving workings of my corrupt heart and those hard thoughts I had had of God and that he would please to give in such clear visions of himself as might mightily increase my faith which desires of mine were spread before the Lord that day But having received at this time some little refreshings from those instructions the Lord was pleased then to communicate by Mr. Knight from Heb. 12. 5-13 From which Scripture I was also convinced that in most of the chastisements the Lord had seen meet to lay me under I had either despised his chastisements or else fainted under them the Lord I say having this day broke in thus upon my heart by his spirit through his word the Divell soon begins again with me taking this opportunity I having set my self and endeavoured to lay my heart to the word and see what comfortable grounds I could take up that the Lord had indeed afflicted me in mercy c. The Divell now begins to indeavour to puffe up my spirit with a conceipt that I was able to speak more in this kind than many others who were at that time also by him presented but through mercy this did not passe many days before the Lord sadly shewed me my folly and weakness herein for a little while after there was an other day kept to which meeting I went and truely after I came there the Lord set home these wicked thoughts together with severall other things which wrought so upon my spirit that my heart was even overwhelmed within me in so much that I could not keep it to my self but was constrained to discover it by my carriage which Mr. Knight taking notice of spake to me after the exercise at which time I was so farre from that ability that Sathan possessed me with thoughts of that I was not able in any measure to speak my heart to him but was as it were one whom the Lord had given up to a dumb spirit and thought those three words which was all that I could then speak were through a meer mistake sadly mis-construed by him yet had I not power to speak one word to clear my meaning supposing it might possibly be that the Lord had something to speak to me even through that mistake there was also this day a word set home very much on my heart from something Mr. Milborn noted to us which also added much to my sadness and it was this that I had prayed and prayed again and again but when I had done I never looked after the returns of them having never yet any experience made out to me that I durst acknowledge this or that to be a return of my prayer nay though the Lord had given in a mercy that I had begged of him I was still for many years tempted to beleeve that it had been so though I had not prayed and so it was not given in as an answer to prayer which did much eat out the sweetness of those mercies which I did enjoy in so much that me thinks I do now even stand and admire what it was that did at that time support my spirit carry me on in a continued seeking of God being not able then to record an answer of prayer at all that I can bring to mind However the Lord had been pleased before this time to give me many gracious answers to my poor desires yet were mine eyes withheld from seeing them to be so and taking the comfort thereof untill a long after yea sometimes some years after some of them were given in which yet afterwards the Lord was pleased to make out unto me even before the writing hereof But after all this the Lord by the acts of his providence seemed much to crosse these hopes and desires of his people in joyning in fellowship together which when I heard of it was a great trouble to me who greatly desired the accomplishment of it sometimes thinking that it might be even for my sake alone that the Lord had done it Other times being tempted to think that if it had been the Lords acting to work up my spirit to that pitch that I thought I found it wrought up unto then he would also have gone on to have perfected my desires but being again inabled on the other side to reason thus with my self that it is my duty to wait patiently upon the Lord and submit to him as well for the time as for the matter I indeavoured the Lord assisting me to quiet my spirit with such thoughts as these that the Lord might delay it in much mercy that so I might be the more fit for it when he shall please to accomplish it apprehending that surely he saw me not yet fit for such a mercy then did I again turn to the Lord and thus desire to submit to him begging of him to fit me for such a mercy and if he saw it good to afford me the mercy here if not that he would direct me where to joyn that might be more for his glory and my soules good Thus was the Lord pleased to go on well nigh a quarter of a year still coming in with more light and discoveries of his love to my soul and clearing up to me more and more that work which he had begun through his rich and free grace in my Lord Jesus in whom I did now desire only and alone to be found and not in any of my own righteousnesses who had now inabled me to see to be very lothsome and abominable though formerly I had too much doted upon them Then in the third moneth in the year 1652. Mr. Knight being gone into the North the Lord was pleased by a meer providence as I desire to look upon it not knowing as yet but that I may also say as a return of many of my former poor desires to send Mr. Rogers to the meeting at Mr. Knights house having preached one Lords day before at the Chappel at Hammersmith which occasioned very strong and earnest desires in me to hear him again which now I did the Lord directing him this time to speak unto us concerning Church discipline which I was yet very dark in which the Lord inabled him to give me very much and great satisfaction which otherwise I have cause to fear I might more inconsiderately have rushed upon Thus was the Lord pleased I hope in answer to my poor desires yet farther to clear up this way of his to me proving it clearly to be the way of the Gospel and that which every one ought to be fully satisfied in before they enter upon This being now more cleared unto me my desires and longings after the enjoyment of God in this Sion grew more strong and earnest I continually mentioning it before the Lord. After this really I cannot tell but that I should rob the Lord of his glory in this particular if I should not also acknowledg him further by my poor
A Wise Virgins Lamp Burning OR Gods sweet incomes of LOVE to a gracious soul waiting for him BEING The EXPERIENCES of Mrs. ANNE VENN Daughter to Col. John Venn Member of the Church of Christ at Fulham written by her own hand and found in her Closet after her death Wherein is declared her exceeding frequent Addresses to the Throne of Grace and how speedily answered Written for the comfort of such as mourn in Sion and quickning of Saints by her blessed Example Psal 30.5 VVeeping may endure for a night but joy cometh in the morning Psal 66.16 Come and hear all ye that fear God I will declare what he hath done for my soul Psal 85.8 I will hear what God the Lord will say for he will speak Peace to his people Lam. 3.25 The Lord is good to them that wait for him to the soul that seeketh him LONDON Printed for E. Cole and are to be sold at the signe of the Printing-Press in Cornhil 1658. Christian Reader HEre mayest thou see the free frequent familiar intercourse betwixt the Lord a godly soul her continual Addresses to him and his gracious Returnes to her doubtless she was one that as it is said of Caleb followed God fully and lay as much in the besome of Christ as any that I have heard of a rare pattern in these cold declining times wherein so many either turn aside from the truth or else lose their first Love but her pious soul in an eminent manner kept Truth and Zeal warm her in heart even till she enjoyed full communion with her beloved in Heaven As she began to seek after God betimes about the age of nine years so she continued with her loins girt her Lamp burning and her Light shining more and more till the perfect day The tenderness of God the malice of Satan her patience in waiting on God for certain years t gether in her first conversion were remarkable The closeness of her spirit not opening her condition to such as might have relieved her her seeking to heal her self by duties and holy walking for a long time kept down her soul from looking up to the free Grace in Christ till she was even tyred out as Noahs Dove by fluttering upon the unsteady waters but then the Lord Jesus put forth his hand and took her weary soul into the Ark of his rest giving her such a clear sight of himself that now having with the Spouse found her beloved she took him and caught him and held him and would not let him go oft saying with the Spouse Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth for his love is better then Wine being able from that time to sing the sweet Song of Simeon longing to be at home with her Jesus Oh the peace and or Oh the blessed revivings and quicknings Oh the prayer praises and admirings her precious soul was filled withall from that day forward though now aâ—d then some secret withdrawings to the last moment of her life Her conversation was in heaven she walked with God her heart loosned from this world as this Treatise fully speaks so much of her strength spirit affection and time she spent in Closet-meetings with God in reading praying meditation self-examination c. that it was a wonder her poor weak body was able to subsist and doubtless had not God renewed her strength anointing her with fresh oyle it could not have been I marvelled I confess to see so many of her writings found in her Closet as I did God gave her a quick wit a large understanding a considering spirit and looking much into her self taught her to put an high price on ordinances made her very diligent in the use of all means laid her very low in her own eyes with much self-emptiness thus bespoko a la ge room in her heart that he might bestow a great deale of Christ therein and so made her a Vessel capable of a greater measure of Grace then I am perswaded many others though truly godly attain on this side heaven So exceeding tender was her heart in point of sin that she would often and deeply judge her self as this Treatise abundantly shews for pride passion inordinate love to the creature neglect of duty to her relations c. whereas those that daylie conversed with her being of discerning spirits could see no such appearances but the contrary frame of spirit eminently shining out in her she was so afraid of pride that she dared not wear such Jewels apparel as she had by her for feâ—r her heart should be drawn from God thereby and so fearful of vain glory that though she had this Treatise of the incomes of God lying by her yet not any no not her dear Parents ever knew thereof till they found it in her Closet after her death her sel leaving this as the reason lest her wretched heart should be lifted up and others should think better of her then was meet She was such an high prizer of Ordinances that she forgetting the weakness of her own body the length of the way many other obstructons would frequently break through all to enjoy them and when she was to hear she first was ful of prayer to God to meet her therein and make out some discoveries to her soul which the Lord usually did and she straightly observing Gods incomes returned with praise her deep acknowledgements of the same No small importunities of very many godly that knew her have forced the publishing of this Treatise and others of long standing in Christ and eminent Grace who have seen some of it in Manuscripts have freely confessed they never looked into it but were much humbled to soe how short themselves come in such heart-searchings self-judgings close-walkings with God and such observings of the answer of their prayers as they read in this her daylie practice I hope it may be useful in these declining times to convince some Christians of their slackness and awaken others and shew them how to make more heart-work by the example of one of the weak Sex and if to thy knowledge it should not adde much yet to thy spirit and practice it may conduce not a little Thine in our dearest Lord and Head THO. WELD To all that love the appearance of the Lord Jesus Grace and Peace BEing called upon by the earnest importunity of many gracious souls to give forth my testimony of this blessed servant of Christ Mr Anne Venn and having had many yeers converse about the great matters of eternal life with her and injoying her society for some yeers in the holy fellowship of the gospel I could not but present to the Saints the sweet savour of her holy walking in which she was a lively example to all that knew her The Lord first brake in upon her heart by the frequent impressions of the Word as they were instilled into her by her honour'd father whose practice was to re-inforce the Truths publikely preached
that his soul abhorred and lying under the apprehension of my self as one cast off by God whom he never regards having poured out my soul before him and begged a soft heart and a renewed and changed nature urging him often with that similitude of a child coming to his father to begg bread Mat. 7. 9 10 11. or rather in my apprehension finding my heart grow more hard and my affections more cold and luke-warm I lay under another temptation from Sathan that sure I was but an hypocrite in all that I did and therefore should but heap up wrath against my self as in Job 36. 13. and this was set home upon my spirit upon several grounds as 1. Because as he told me I did not so much aim at the glory of God as at that happy estate which is to be enjoyed in heaven 2. Because I could not find my love working so strongly towards God as towards my self desiring to be freed from the torments of hell which I conceived to be intolerable as also 3. Finding sometimes a kind of secret desire that some body might hear or know of my performances of duties c. Though I never durst act in any measure so as that it might be discerned but alwayes strove to my utmost ability to conceal what ever possibly I might yet finding sometimes some such desires of vain glory in my spirit that though I did do it thus privately yet if it could have been known and not by my means I thought I could be content and this also lay as an heavy weight upon my spirit to think that there should such wicked vain and sinful thoughts and desires be suggested to me or for anytime though never so smal lodge within me Jer. 4. 14. Which when I began to consider sadly of did but still renew and increase my troubles and feares being a discovery of the hypocrisy that was in my heart And for the most part of this my trouble I lay under such a sense of the wrath of God that I thought that all I had and enjoyed was cursed to me often admiring that every bit of bread I eat did not choak me or every creature did not put an end to my life often fearing that the company I was in should fare the worse for me in so much that if I went by water or the like I still conceived I might be an occasion of drowning all those that were with me Oh! how desirous was my soul at this time of the help and counsel of my Godly wise friends and Christians but through many and sundry temptations still deprived my self of it and of the benefit I might have gained by it through my wicked silence in all companies and loathness to impart my condition to any Sometimes my wicked corrupt heart would basely suggest to me that I was not able to discourse or speak of any spiritual thing and therefore I should but only thereby discover my own ignorance and no wayes advantage my self c. Which when I was inabled still to consider better of recollecting my thoughts and calling them into question as it were then cometh the Divell and tells me that this did but note my hypocrisy and farther when I have been troubled with it to think that I should give way to such wicked thoughts as these then comes in Sathan again on the other side and tells me that if I should put my self forward in any discourse I should but thereby cause others to have a better opinion of me than indeed I deserved and so deceive others and delude my own soul and this latter temptation was that which indeed did oftenest prevail with me being ever most of all prone to fear the delusions of my own heart and so esteeming my condition to be better than it is This going on in this way of wicked silence made many of my Christian friends I do really beleeve not know what to think of me but were as it were estranged from me which I soon perceiving it was a most heavy affliction to me such as the searcher of hearts knows lay very sadly upon my spirit which yet I could not in any measure make known to them but between God and my own soul condoled this my miserable condition then being to remove out of London which was an exceeding trouble to me to consider how we should by it be deprived of those means which we there might enjoy although indeed neither my Father Mother or my self could enjoy our healths there And removing into the Country about the year 1647. I found the ministery under which I then was exceeding dead and spiritless then when I came home me thought I knew as much and no more to my edification in that condition I was in than I did when I went the subject which was then and for a long time together treated on was that Scripture Gen. 2. 7. The Lord breathed into man the breath of life and man became a living soul The main scope of the minister being to shew what the natural soul was that God had put into man handling it as I conceiv'd more like a Philosopher than a Gospel-preacher which notional things were not those which could satisfie my soul which wanted now some support from heaven in this sad drooping condition I was in but meeting with nothing suitable to my present estate and being here cast in a place where I was deprived of all other means I grew still into a more sad condition every day Then did I lye under a very sad and strange temptation to neglect the ordinance of preaching which was grounded upon the pretence that I might improve my time at home to my more spiritual advantage which temptation I often yeilded to and when I had any opportunity or seeming excuse by reason of any smal bodily distemper either the head-ach or the like I still took those occasions to stay at home and so yeilded to the temptation and thus I did often But when I came still at night to a review of what I had done and how I had spent my time in each of these dayes as also what I had gained I found it to be so little through one temptation or other that I now began to conceive and fear that it was only a temptation of the Divell to bring me out of love with the ordinances of God whereupon the Lord also inabled me to begin to take a view of my own heart indeavouring to perswade my self that the fault was only in me and that surely I was some way or other prâ—judiced against the man or his preaching not looking as I ought to the power of God which was able to bless that means to me that he had now cast me under contrary to my desires and that it was therefore just with God to let it be to me according to my unbeleef Whereupon I began again to examine my own heart whether or no I had any kind of prejudice against the man which
commander Isai 55. 4. Oh! behold him as sâ—…h an one behold him above all not onely to help at a dead lift when your own righteousness cannot do it but behold him above all as the onely governour of your souls look on him with an eye of dependence waiting for the accomplishment of his work in your souls and mourn to think that though he was given to govern you that you should be governing of your selves without him and so grieve him and if Christ be appointed by the Father to govern the Gentiles then ask your own hearts who governeth you whose laws do you obey what rule do you walk by what ends do you aim at And truly upon examination finding that Christ of his own rich grace had been thus at work in my heart and this whole dicourse being as it were but a declaration of his dealing with my soul which I could not pass by without setting down and putting it upon record it seeming to me even as if the Lord had spoken from heaven to my soul in particular therefore I think I should much dishonour him if I should not to his praise in the desires of my soul acknowledg that every one of these markes of Christ have been in some measure some more some less through grace wrought by him in my heart though I must still acknowledg that there is too much opposition against him in my soul which I desire to wait and do expect according as hath been expressed the utter subduing thereof which time I hope hasteth when Christ will come take up full possession of my soul rule in it and over it for ever The same day in the close of it Mr. Knight spent a little time upon Esay 65. 24. from which there was also many gracious discoveries hinted out to my soul concerning Gods readiness to hear before his people call where he puts us upon warchfulness what work Christ was about in the nation which the Lord was pleased to make as a spur to my dul spirit to look out what that work was that God was now doing or about to do in my heart even I hope fitting of me for a more full enjoyment of himself then did the Lord also by his servant declare out to us in these latter dayes these Gospel times wherein God hastens his work which throughly I found to be made good to my poor soul the Lord having been pleased exceedingly to hasten his work upon my heart and the manifestation of his blessed face to my soul even faster then my scant heart could imagine Which appearances of this in his manner caused my soul to enter into these serious thoughts and considerations whether I might not hence argue that sure the Lord was nigh the accomplishment of it by putting an end to to the sinful dayes of my Pilgrimage here below yea here did the Lord shew me that whatever it be that lies in the way when he comes to do this great work he wil remove or down with it and truly this I saw through grace to be his manner of dealing with my soul be it my own righteousness be it meer relations on whom I too much leaned and conceived my happiness to lie much in be it what it will Christ will remove it when he comes to do his great work therefore as I was then taught I ought to relie still upon Christs readiness which the Lord grant I may There was also hinted to us that nothing was satisfactory to the Saints call but Gods answer where the Lord was pleased to convince my soul of the evil that I had so long been guilty of that I still poured out my prayers before the Lord but never regarded any answer concluding that God would never answer them and truly now the Lord hath been pleased to shew me that it is a great sinne in me to content my self in pouring out my desires and never looking after the returns of them untill the Lord was pleased suddenly and in an unexpected manner and measure as he hath promised to come in with an answer to my soul even before I thought of it or expected it though I had often begged it of the Lord. Another thing was then hinted to my soul which the Lord hath been pleased to give me much experience of to wit what a blessed thing it is and comfortable to the soul to have mercies come in as an answer to prayer which is that which maketh them sweet indeed to that soul that enjoyeth them there was also at this blessed season that objection answered that the Saints often pray and yet God doth not answer shewing First that many times they do not well understand Gods answers but his answers are very full though they understand them not Secondly yea sometimes he answers by conversing with the soul at that time admiting them into his presence with that freedome Thirdly by giving of them strength of grace for the attendance and waiting upon him Fourthly sometimes by awakening of the soul by a due prizing of the mercies begged Fifthly sometimes by giving in of mercies that are not in the same kind the soul would have them every of which wayes I now see the Lord hath answered those prayers which formerly I thought had been covered with a cloud from all wich did the Lord stir up my soul to a quick lively diligent search into the answers of prayers that had been put up to the Lord by my poor soul for many years past to this day in the search of which I found many rich answers that I had long robbed the Lord of the glory of The ninth of March did the Lord please to send that servant of his Mr. Marshall to the Chappel at Fulham who did from the Lord declare a most gracious and comfortable word to my soul which the Lord pleased to blesse to me and may be ground for my faith while I have a day to live in this sinneful world that which the Lord was pleased to hint from him 1 Ephes 22 23. from which he took occasion to shew us that Christ do stand in that relation to all his Saints as the naturall head doth to the natural body and that therefore as in the natural body all those perfections that are in the head are in it for the good and use of the whole body and that if every limb and joint if it could speak it might say I am at ease I can see taste smel and the like therefore all these perfections in Christ the head are in him for the good and use of every one of his members What ever can be spoken concerning Christ as undertaking the work of mans salvation they are these perfections of Christ the head as for example as the fulness of Christs person his divine and humane perfections all the excellencies of his offices all his merits and all his satisfactions gifts graces every thing that can be truely spoken of Christ since he was designed of God
hypocrite or afraid to hear what conscience saith Oh how sweetly was this truth improved this day by application as first to teach us to admire the goodness of God in placing such a witness in every mans bosom yea how good it was for the Saints that this was set up in wicked men for some times there are actions done by wicked men against Gods people that there is no winess but their own consciences which testifie against them of all their hard speeches and thoughts and words and the like yea how good was it for the Saints also in this for had they not this witness in themselves how bitter would the reproaches of the World be to them We were exhorted to take heed how we walk towards conscience it being by God set as a Watch over us oh then take heed that we withdraw not from it Nay it is true it will follow you but labour to keep it in your sight and when you are to do any civil or religious Work call it in and say Conscience What sayest thou to this or that action Was it according to the will and mind of God and give it leave to speak out yea and give time also for oftentimes the affairs of the World hinder that conscience hath not time to speak its mind 2 To take heed we grieve it not for its complaints will be heard in Heaven therefore take heed of doing any thing against conscience 3. Awe it as a Judge and be content to be judged by it in all you do for it will be your Judge another day and will be an immortal Witness either in point of comfort or terror oh therefore awe it 1. Do you take of heed of slighting conscience or its Testimony for therein you commit great injury to God it being his Embassador and by him set in you 2. It is great folly also to stop its mouth For 1. All your hindering it or endeavouring to do so will but prove an aggravation of its Witness another day against you then it will tell you That it would have spoken plainly to you such and such a time but you would not hear you were so busie in the World or the like The reason why Saints do no more rejoice is because they walk no more in the testimony of their own consciences We were also exhorted in the conclusion to be very tender of doing any thing without a solemn Court of Conscience rashness is the worst evil Conscience is Gods Witness let it be yours give it full liberty therefore to speak and say all it can ask it again and again what it saith to this and that action and may be it will give thee that Testimony that through rashness and hastiness it had not time to speak or thou to hear it Oh what sensible hints were these to my poor soul if the Lord would but please to bless them effectually to me and help me to put them in practice daylie The Lord having seen meet to call our Brother Vilet ont of this World I heard that he was to be buryed at Fulham this Afternoon and our Pastor to preach which occasioned me greatly to desire to hear him which also I did though it was exceeding late at which time he spake from 1 Joh. 3. 2. Now are we the sons of â—od but it doth not yet appear what we shall be c. from which there were most seasonable blessed truths hinted to my soul That which he pressed was That what the Saints shall be it doth not appear Then he shewed it did not appear first to the Saints themselves 1. Because of the little light the Saints have of this glory nay if God should reveal more they could not bear it in this state 2. In regard of our not improvements of the discoveries made of our future estate 3. Because their present estate is compassed with sin and affliction both vvhich do obstruct the sight of this glory but more particularly the Reasons why it doth not appear he shewed were these 1. From the many diversions of the Spirit of Saints that turn them aside from beholding their glory to come how do the toyes and baubles of this World divert them from beholding of this and so their estate doth not appear to them 2. It comes from inconstancie of Spirit because their hearts do not dwell on those things no man is excellent in that his heart and thoughts dwell not upon so here 3. From the weakness of our Faith for we live novv by Faith but when Christ shall appear then you shall live by sight so that whilest you are here your sight is according to your Faith if your Faith be right and straight like Stephens then have you a strong sight of glory 4. It appears not from the remainders of corruptions that abide in us every sin vails the sight of this glory 5. God himself is pleased sometimes to exercise his Saints not only under darkness in the sight of their future estate but also of their present estate and so they walk in the dark and this God doth for high and holy ends and gives great instructions through it no his Saints to look up to him for life and wait on him for the manifestation of his love and their future estate and to make them see that it flows from nothing in them but from him only eternal life being not only the gift of God but even the light whereby we see it 2. This glory appears not to the World also and that 1. Because the World sees only the outside of a godly man his shell but they see not the glory of his inside they see their poverty and contempt and reproach c. but they see not the glorious working of God on their souls or operation of his spirit in them 2 It appears not to the World because the Saints have their Clouds upon them The best have their infirmities and these the World look most upon wicked men are blind and cannot see for spiritual things must be spiritually discerned because many times there are differences among the Saints themselves and this darkens their glory to the World who see them disputing about Religion and the like the World judgeth of their future Estate by their present condition if men flourish here then they judge well of them if they lie under troubles they judge them hated of God and thus God suffers this darkness about their future estate To humble his Saints and make them cry to him for light To manifest the sincerity of the Saints To set them a longing after Eternity where they shall have full and cleare sight To make glory appear glory indeed if the glittering here be glorious what shall the full be that it appears no is out of just judgement from God to this wicked World who do hate and contemn them therefore God wil not let them see their glory they shall only know it by feeling the contrary and the want of it There