this_o thing_n the_o lord_n bring_v to_o my_o remembrance_n rom._n 7._o ult_n with_o my_o mind_n i_o myself_o serve_v the_o law_n of_o god_n but_o with_o my_o flesh_n the_o law_n of_o sin_n this_o scripture_n be_v a_o great_a stay_n and_o satisfaction_n to_o i_o and_o take_v off_o that_o which_o be_v my_o chief_a fear_n there_o be_v no_o doubt_n but_o paul_n be_v the_o servant_n of_o christ_n yet_o he_o say_v i_o myself_o with_o the_o flesh_n serve_v the_o law_n of_o sin_n evidence_n of_o the_o pardon_n of_o my_o sin_n aug._n 12._o 1666._o be_v under_o the_o sense_n of_o many_o sin_n i_o consider_v with_o myself_o what_o ground_n and_o evidence_n i_o have_v for_o the_o pardon_n of_o my_o sin_n and_o be_v satisfy_v from_o these_o scripture_n acts._n 10._o 43._o to_o he_o give_v all_o the_o prophet_n witness_v that_o through_o his_o name_n whosoever_o believe_v in_o he_o shall_v receive_v remission_n of_o sin_n i_o find_v that_o through_o grace_n i_o do_v believe_v in_o christ_n 1_o joh._n 1._o 9_o if_o we_o confess_v our_o sin_n he_o be_v faithful_a and_o just_a to_o forgive_v we_o our_o sin_n and_o to_o cleanse_v we_o from_o all_o unrighteousness_n i_o see_v here_o that_o god_n justice_n and_o faithfulness_n stand_v engage_v to_o forgive_v their_o sin_n who_o make_v confession_n of_o they_o which_o god_n have_v give_v i_o a_o heart_n to_o do_v isa_n 1._o 16_o 17_o 18_o 19_o these_o person_n to_o who_o this_o promise_n be_v make_v have_v sin_v against_o great_a mercy_n ver_fw-la 2._o and_o great_a judgement_n v_o 5._o and_o other_o circumstance_n do_v aggravate_v their_o sin_n yet_o god_n promise_v to_o forgive_v their_o scarlet_n and_o crimson-sin_n if_o they_o be_v willing_a to_o repent_v and_o obey_v the_o lord_n if_o you_o be_v willing_a and_o obedient_a and_o through_o grace_n i_o find_v i_o be_v willing_a to_o obey_v god_n voice_n to_o cease_v to_o do_v evil_a and_o to_o learn_v to_o do_v well_o hebr._n 8._o 10._o 12._o the_o promise_n of_o remission_n of_o sin_n be_v part_n of_o the_o new_a covenant_n and_o i_o find_v that_o god_n have_v make_v this_o covenant_n with_o i_o from_o isa_n 55._o 3._o where_o the_o condition_n of_o the_o covenant_n be_v come_v unto_o christ_n to_o which_o god_n have_v enable_v i_o dec._n 30._o have_v leave_v the_o prevalency_n of_o sin_n and_o find_v sin_n not_o only_a warring_n against_o but_o lead_v i_o captive_n which_o make_v i_o question_v my_o pardon_n i_o be_v enable_v to_o rest_v upon_o god_n for_o forgiveness_n of_o my_o sin_n from_o ps_n 65._o 3._o iniquity_n prevail_v against_o i_o as_o for_o our_o transgression_n thou_o shall_v purge_v they_o away_o by_o purge_v be_v mean_v 1._o pardon_v heb._n 1._o 3._o ps_n 51._o 7._o 2._o subdue_a and_o destroy_a sin_n isa_n 27._o 9_o 2_o tim._n 2._o 21._o so_o that_o david_n when_o he_o feel_v sin_n prevail_v and_o not_o only_o one_o sin_n but_o several_a iniquity_n in_o the_o plural_a number_n prevail_v do_v yet_o rest_n upon_o god_n both_o for_o the_o pardon_n and_o the_o subdue_a of_o his_o sin_n and_o what_o david_n do_v i_o may_v and_o aught_o to_o do_v rom._n 7._o 23_o 24_o 25._o when_o the_o apostle_n find_v sin_n work_v and_o war_a and_o lead_v he_o captive_a yet_o he_o hang_v upon_o christ_n and_o bless_v god_n for_o christ_n and_o believe_v he_o shall_v be_v deliver_v from_o the_o guilt_n and_o power_n of_o his_o sin_n by_o jesus_n christ_n when_o the_o filthiness_n of_o my_o sin_n make_v i_o afraid_a that_o god_n will_v not_o pardon_v because_o i_o have_v such_o vile_a affection_n and_o such_o filthy_a motion_n in_o my_o heart_n god_n comfort_v i_o with_o that_o word_n ezek._n 36._o 25._o i_o will_v sprinkle_v clean_a water_n upon_o you_o and_o you_o shall_v be_v clean_o from_o all_o your_o filthiness_n and_o i_o will_v cleanse_v you_o &_o v_o 29._o i_o will_v save_v you_o from_o all_o your_o uncleanness_n and_o from_o act._n 13._o 38_o 39_o the_o promise_n be_v to_o all_o that_o believe_v and_o here_o be_v promise_v 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which_o covenant_n shall_v never_o be_v remove_v from_o i_o isa_n 54._o 9_o 10._o also_o dan._n 9_o 9_o when_o god_n have_v once_o and_o again_o clear_v up_o to_o my_o soul_n the_o pardon_n of_o my_o sin_n i_o consider_v with_o myself_o what_o duty_n this_o mercy_n call_v for_o and_o i_o see_v 1._o this_o shall_v make_v i_o thankful_a psal_n 103._o 1_o 2_o 3._o 2._o it_o shall_v make_v i_o admire_v god_n mic._n 7._o 18_o 19_o 3._o it_o shall_v make_v i_o more_o fearful_a of_o offend_v god_n ps_n 130._o 4._o 85._o 8._o 4._o it_o shall_v make_v i_o love_n god_n much_o luke_n 7._o 42_o 43_o 47._o 5._o it_o shall_v make_v i_o glorify_v god_n and_o let_v he_o have_v the_o dominion_n over_o my_o soul_n rev._n 1._o 5_o 6._o 6._o it_o shall_v make_v i_o cheerful_a and_o encourage_v i_o in_o all_o the_o trouble_n of_o this_o present_a life_n mat._n 9_o 2._o isa_n 33._o ult_n 7._o it_o shall_v oblige_v i_o to_o forgive_v other_o eph._n 4_o 32._o col._n 3._o 13._o 8._o it_o shall_v make_v i_o willing_a to_o be_v employ_v in_o any_o service_n for_o god_n isa_n 6._o 7_o 8._o evidence_n of_o my_o interest_n in_o and_o union_n with_o jesus_n christ_n 1._o faith_n in_o christ_n joh._n 17._o 20_o 21._o christ_n pray_v that_o all_o that_o believe_v in_o he_o through_o the_o word_n may_v be_v one_o in_o he_o and_o the_o father_n always_o hear_v he_o joh._n 11._o 42._o now_o i_o find_v bless_a be_v god_n that_o through_o the_o word_n i_o do_v believe_v in_o christ_n 2._o effectual_a call_v 1_o cor._n 1._o 9_o 26._o 30._o god_n be_v faithful_a by_o who_o you_o be_v call_v you_o see_v your_o call_n you_o be_v in_o christ_n jesus_n now_o through_o mercy_n i_o find_v god_n have_v call_v i_o out_o of_o darkness_n into_o his_o marvellous_a light_n he_o have_v call_v i_o to_o the_o knowledge_n and_o faith_n of_o christ_n 3._o walk_v after_o the_o spirit_n and_o not_o after_o the_o flesh_n rom._n 8._o 1._o it_o be_v not_o say_v they_o that_o be_v in_o christ_n have_v no_o flesh_n in_o they_o but_o they_o walk_v not_o after_o the_o flesh_n 4._o christ_n give_v we_o his_o spirit_n be_v a_o evidence_n that_o he_o abide_v in_o we_o 1_o joh._n 3._o 24._o now_o i_o find_v by_o the_o fruit_n of_o the_o spirit_n mention_v gal._n 5._o 22_o 23._o that_o god_n have_v give_v i_o his_o spirit_n and_o also_o by_o my_o be_v able_a to_o cry_v abba_n father_n gal._n 4._o 6._o 5._o crucify_a the_o flesh_n with_o the_o affection_n and_o lust_n thereof_o gal._n 5._o 24._o that_o be_v our_o corrupt_a nature_n with_o the_o work_v thereof_o mention_v v._n 19_o 20_o 21._o the_o flesh_n and_o lust_n thereof_o be_v crucify_a when_o so_o subdue_v that_o it_o do_v not_o reign_v rom._n 6._o 6._o which_o i_o find_v bless_a be_v god_n 6._o keep_v christ_n word_n 1_o joh._n 2._o 5._o which_o i_o desire_v and_o endeavour_v the_o comfort_n and_o privilege_n flow_v from_o hence_o be_v that_o i_o be_o 1._o free_a from_o condemnation_n rom._n 8._o 1._o 2._o assure_a of_o glory_n col._n 1._o 27._o 1_o 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〈◊〉_d 〈◊〉_d 〈◊〉_d 〈◊〉_d 〈◊〉_d or_o the_o true_a dignity_n of_o st._n paul_n old_a exemplify_v in_o the_o life_n of_o that_o reverend_n holy_a zealous_n and_o faithful_a servant_n and_o minister_n of_o jesus_n christ_n mr._n owen_n stockton_n m._n a._n sometime_o fellow_n of_o gonvile_n and_o caius_n college_n in_o cambridge_n and_o afterward_o preacher_n of_o god_n word_n at_o colchester_n in_o essex_n with_o a_o collection_n of_o his_o observation_n experience_n and_o evidence_n record_v by_o his_o own_o hand_n to_o which_o be_v add_v his_o funeral_n sermon_n by_o john_n fairfax_n m._n a._n sometime_o fellow_n of_o c._n c._n c._n in_o c._n and_o afterward_o rector_n of_o bark_v in_o suffolk_n heb._n 11._o 4._o he_o be_v dead_a yet_o speak_v london_n print_v by_o h._n h._n for_o tho._n parkhurst_n at_o the_o sign_n of_o the_o bible_n and_o three_o crown_n at_o the_o low_a end_n of_o cheapside_n 1681._o to_o the_o worthy_o honour_a and_o eminent_o religious_a the_o lady_n brook_n of_o 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the_o resurrection_n of_o the_o just_a that_o your_o day_n may_v yet_o be_v multiply_v and_o the_o consolation_n of_o god_n be_v the_o support_n and_o strength_n of_o your_o age_n that_o the_o blessing_n of_o the_o everlasting_a covenant_n may_v descend_v and_o remain_v to_o your_o posterity_n from_o generation_n to_o generation_n be_v and_o shall_v be_v the_o prayer_n of_o madam_n bark_v jun._n 1681._o your_o ladyship_n most_o humble_a and_o bind_a servant_n and_o orator_n john_n fairfax_n the_o true_a dignity_n of_o st._n paul_n elder_a exemplify_v in_o the_o life_n of_o mr._n owen_n stockton_n the_o preface_n it_o have_v be_v the_o vainglorious_a practice_n of_o some_o man_n for_o the_o perpetuate_n of_o their_o memory_n beyond_o death_n and_o time_n to_o the_o far_a posterity_n to_o engrave_v their_o name_n in_o brass_n or_o marble_n
preach_v in_o the_o afternoon_n at_o st._n andrews_n i_o have_v some_o thought_n of_o it_o and_o motion_n thereto_o some_o time_n since_o but_o now_o my_o time_n for_o chapel_n exercise_n be_v expire_v i_o take_v it_n into_o serious_a thought_n and_o have_v humble_v my_o soul_n for_o my_o sin_n and_o beg_v of_o god_n that_o he_o will_v settle_v my_o mind_n in_o this_o thing_n and_o teach_v i_o what_o be_v his_o mind_n therein_o after_o pain_n and_o search_v the_o scripture_n i_o come_v to_o this_o resolution_n i_o be_v full_o persuade_v that_o it_o be_v the_o mind_n of_o the_o lord_n that_o i_o shall_v also_o preach_v in_o the_o afternoon_n and_o that_o from_o these_o scripture_n 2_o tim._n 4._o 1._o 2._o i_o charge_v the_o before_o god_n be_v instant_a in_o season_n and_o out_o of_o season_n as_o we_o will_v answer_v it_o to_o jesus_n christ_n at_o the_o day_n of_o judgement_n we_o be_v to_o take_v all_o opportunity_n to_o preach_v his_o word_n i_o consider_v here_o be_v a_o fair_a opportunity_n put_v into_o my_o hand_n and_o therefore_o i_o be_o bind_v in_o conscience_n not_o to_o neglect_v it_o 1_o pet._n 5._o 2._o 〈◊〉_d 〈◊〉_d 〈◊〉_d 〈◊〉_d 〈◊〉_d as_o much_o as_o in_o you_o lie_v feed_v thy_o flock_n so_o calvin_n render_v the_o word_n 1_o cor._n 9_o 16._o 17._o necessity_n be_v lay_v upon_o i_o yea_o woe_n be_v unto_o i_o if_o i_o preach_v not_o the_o gospel_n though_o i_o preach_v the_o gospel_n i_o have_v nothing_o to_o glory_n of_o if_o i_o do_v this_o willing_o i_o have_v a_o reward_n eccl._n 11_o 6._o in_o the_o morning_n sow_v thy_o seed_n and_o in_o the_o evening_n withhold_v not_o thy_o hand_n for_o thou_o know_v not_o what_o shall_v prosper_v this_o or_o that_o this_o seem_v a_o clear_a resolution_n of_o the_o question_n 1_o cor._n 15._o 58._o always_o abound_v in_o the_o work_n of_o the_o lord_n gal._n 6._o 10._o as_o we_o have_v opportunity_n let_v we_o do_v good_a here_o be_v a_o fair_a opportunity_n and_o how_o it_o may_v be_v take_v from_o i_o or_o i_o from_o it_o i_o know_v not_o and_o therefore_o hold_v it_o my_o duty_n to_o lay_v hold_n on_o it_o hereupon_o i_o resolve_v to_o preach_v once_o a_o fortnight_n in_o the_o afternoon_n also_o and_o consider_v my_o weakness_n for_o such_o a_o work_n i_o be_v encourage_v from_o isa_n 41._o 10._o and_o math._n 28._o ult_n go_v teach_v and_o lo_o i_o be_o with_o you_o with_o you_o to_o help_v and_o assist_v you_o with_o you_o to_o bless_v your_o labour_n and_o make_v your_o work_n prosperous_a under_o your_o hand_n jul._n 13._o 1656._o i_o begin_v my_o afternoon_n exercise_v and_o enter_v upon_o the_o doctrine_n of_o repentance_n i_o have_v find_v god_n very_o much_o with_o i_o assisting_z and_o enlarge_n i_o and_o blessing_n my_o labour_n to_o some_o of_o my_o hearer_n i_o bless_v his_o name_n for_o put_v it_o into_o my_o heart_n nov_n 16_o i_o have_v not_o so_o much_o of_o the_o enliven_a presence_n of_o god_n in_o the_o afternoon_n as_o i_o be_v wont_a to_o have_v yet_o god_n bless_v his_o word_n one_o of_o the_o parish_n tell_v mr._n j._n he_o think_v their_o minister_n know_v their_o heart_n and_o add_v he_o be_v resolve_v to_o amend_v apr._n 21._o 1657._o i_o set_v apart_o this_o day_n to_o seek_v god_n by_o fast_v and_o prayer_n to_o show_v i_o my_o way_n and_o to_o direct_v i_o in_o a_o business_n that_o have_v be_v upon_o my_o spirit_n nigh_o half_a a_o year_n which_o be_v to_o preach_v once_o a_o fortnight_n on_o the_o week_n day_n at_o the_o church_n where_o i_o be_o place_v i_o engage_v the_o prayer_n of_o other_o also_o for_o i_o in_o this_o particular_a and_o when_o i_o go_v to_o the_o sacrament_n i_o lay_v the_o promise_n before_o god_n that_o he_o will_v guide_v i_o continual_o and_o teach_v i_o in_o the_o way_n that_o i_o shall_v choose_v as_o that_o which_o i_o desire_v might_n among_o other_o be_v seal_v up_o to_o i_o whilst_o i_o be_v thus_o deliberate_v with_o myself_o what_o to_o do_v i_o meet_v with_o this_o providence_n be_v at_o soham_n to_o preach_v the_o lecture_n there_o i_o sleep_v that_o night_n very_o disturbed_o towards_o the_o morning_n i_o think_v i_o see_v the_o lord_n jesus_n christ_n in_o his_o glory_n who_o speak_v comfortable_o to_o i_o and_o encourage_v i_o in_o my_o work_n but_o speak_v very_o sad_a word_n to_o another_o mr._n of_o art_n that_o be_v with_o i_o who_o i_o dream_v to_o be_v a_o godly_a man_n yet_o one_o who_o be_v note_v for_o his_o unwillingness_n to_o preach_v in_o town_n when_o i_o awake_v i_o consider_v with_o myself_o what_o this_o shall_v mean_v i_o consider_v it_o be_v but_o a_o dream_n and_o so_o not_o much_o to_o be_v heed_v and_o again_o i_o consider_v that_o sometime_o god_n speak_v to_o we_o in_o dream_n and_o slumber_v upon_o our_o bed_n job_n 33._o 13._o 14._o 15._o whence_o i_o gather_v it_o may_v be_v something_o of_o encouragement_n to_o i_o in_o the_o morning_n when_o i_o be_v up_o it_o fall_v out_o in_o my_o ordinary_a course_n of_o read_v the_o scripture_n to_o read_v act._n 18._o and_o when_o i_o have_v read_v ver_fw-la 9_o 10._o and_o ponder_v what_o have_v befall_v i_o in_o the_o night_n i_o can_v not_o but_o wonder_n at_o the_o providence_n of_o god_n to_o cause_v this_o scripture_n to_o fall_v in_o with_o my_o former_a dream_n which_o make_v i_o ponder_v the_o more_o upon_o it_o i_o see_v god_n do_v sometime_o speak_v to_o his_o people_n in_o a_o vision_n i_o see_v the_o same_o reason_n why_o paul_n shall_v preach_v viz._n because_o there_o be_v much_o people_n belong_v to_o the_o lord_n there_o may_v be_v forcible_a to_o prevail_v with_o i_o for_o he_o incline_v a_o great_a multitude_n of_o people_n to_o attend_v upon_o i_o when_o i_o have_v consider_v of_o it_o i_o resolve_v to_o lay_v this_o up_o in_o my_o heart_n and_o not_o to_o slight_v it_o though_o i_o can_v not_o build_v on_o it_o any_o ground_n of_o my_o undertake_n my_o work_n consult_v the_o scripture_n these_o come_v into_o my_o mind_n act._n 6._o 4._o we_o will_v give_v ourselves_o continual_o to_o prayer_n and_o to_o the_o ministry_n of_o the_o word_n where_o i_o see_v that_o such_o as_o be_v call_v of_o god_n to_o preach_v the_o word_n aught_o to_o make_v it_o their_o business_n and_o give_v up_o themselves_o to_o it_o rom._n 1._o 1._o 14._o 15._o here_o i_o see_v that_o one_o separate_v to_o the_o gospel_n of_o christ_n be_v a_o debtor_n bind_v and_o shall_v be_v ready_a as_o much_o as_o in_o he_o lie_v isa_n 40._o 9_o o_o thou_o that_o bring_v good_a tiding_n to_o zion_n get_v the_o up_o into_o the_o high_a mountain_n lift_v up_o thy_o voice_n with_o strength_n lift_v it_o up_o be_v not_o afraid_a read_v this_o scripture_n in_o my_o ordinary_a course_n i_o find_v it_o set_v home_o with_o life_n and_o power_n in_o reference_n to_o my_o present_a doubt_n get_v the_o up_o lift_v up_o thy_o voice_n it_o remove_v the_o great_a obstacle_n of_o fear_n what_o will_v man_n say_v and_o think_v of_o my_o forwardness_n be_v not_o afraid_a i_o be_v the_o more_o confirm_v by_o consider_v this_o scripture_n be_v main_o direct_v to_o such_o as_o god_n have_v send_v to_o preach_v the_o gospel_n by_o compare_v this_o scripture_n with_o isa_n 52._o 7._o and_o rom._n 10._o 15._o and_o the_o scripture_n do_v the_o more_o affect_v i_o because_o it_o be_v in_o this_o manner_n set_v home_o after_o prayer_n when_o i_o have_v be_v seek_v god_n in_o reference_n to_o this_o doubt_n act._n 18._o 5._o paul_n be_v press_v in_o spirit_n and_o testify_v hence_o i_o see_v the_o minister_n of_o god_n may_v take_v encouragement_n to_o preach_v the_o word_n from_o inward_a pressure_n of_o spirit_n have_v these_o inducement_n to_o preach_v on_o the_o week_n day_n i_o set_v apart_o as_o before_o the_o 21th_o of_o april_n to_o seek_v god_n by_o fast_v and_o prayer_n to_o direct_v i_o what_o to_o do_v have_v put_v up_o my_o request_n to_o he_o in_o the_o name_n of_o jesus_n christ_n i_o shall_v consider_v what_o motive_n i_o have_v to_o it_o and_o what_o dissuasives_n from_o it_o and_o judge_v of_o both_o according_a to_o the_o scripture_n and_o do_v therein_o as_o the_o lord_n shall_v direct_v i_o by_o his_o word_n and_o spirit_n '_o the_o argument_n move_v to_o it_o be_v these_o 1._o i_o find_v god_n much_o enlarge_n my_o meditation_n so_o as_o i_o be_o a_o long_a while_n ere_o i_o can_v dispatch_v the_o subject_a i_o enter_v upon_o whereby_o i_o foresee_v i_o shall_v go_v over_o but_o few_o head_n in_o divinity_n while_o i_o stay_v unless_o i_o preach_v often_o and_o i_o know_v not_o what_o the_o meaning_n of_o god_n
witness_n to_o he_o the_o widow_n the_o fatherless_a the_o stranger_n the_o sick_a the_o sufferer_n have_v all_o be_v refresh_v from_o his_o compassion_n though_o he_o offer_v to_o preach_v free_o at_o st_n james_n church_n in_o colchester_n on_o lord_n day_n morning_n as_o have_v be_v before_o mention_v not_o desire_v or_o expect_v any_o reward_n yet_o the_o civility_n of_o the_o people_n do_v gratify_v he_o for_o his_o pain_n the_o great_a part_n of_o which_o i_o be_o assure_v from_o a_o hand_n privy_a to_o it_o he_o distribute_v to_o charitable_a use_n and_o this_o i_o read_v under_o his_o own_o hand_n nou._n 1._o 1665._o i_o make_v a_o vow_n to_o god_n to_o give_v he_o the_o ten_o of_o all_o that_o he_o shall_v give_v unto_o i_o the_o ensue_a year_n that_o which_o occasion_v i_o to_o vow_v this_o vow_n be_v the_o read_n gen._n 28._o which_o fall_v out_o that_o morning_n in_o my_o ordinary_a course_n where_o i_o observe_v that_o most_o of_o those_o blessing_n which_o jacob_n mention_n as_o his_o inducement_n to_o his_o vow_n god_n have_v give_v i_o he_o have_v vouchsafe_v i_o his_o presence_n he_o have_v gracious_o preserve_v and_o keep_v i_o from_o my_o enemy_n and_o the_o noisome_a pestilence_n he_o have_v give_v i_o bread_n and_o raiment_n i_o add_v pro._n 3._o 9_o honour_n the_o lord_n with_o thy_o substance_n and_o with_o the_o first_o fruit_n of_o all_o thy_o increase_n i_o considere_v also_o that_o what_o i_o give_v to_o god_n shall_v be_v fruit_n abound_v to_o my_o account_n phil._n 4._o 17._o math._n 25._o 34_o 35_o 36._o i_o consider_v which_o way_n i_o shall_v give_v it_o to_o god_n and_o i_o see_v from_o prov._n 19_o 17._o that_o what_o be_v give_v to_o the_o poor_a be_v give_v to_o god_n especial_o what_o be_v give_v to_o the_o poor_a saint_n and_o member_n of_o christ_n math._n 25._o 35_o 40._o and_o as_o to_o the_o suffer_a minister_n of_o christ_n i_o determine_v to_o bestow_v part_n of_o what_o i_o have_v dedicate_v to_o god_n on_o they_o and_o that_o though_o they_o be_v not_o bring_v to_o such_o extremity_n as_o not_o to_o know_v how_o to_o subsist_v i_o be_v move_v thereunto_o by_o phil._n 4._o 10_o 11_o 14_o 18._o the_o apostle_n paul_n be_v not_o in_o such_o want_n but_o that_o he_o know_v how_o to_o live_v comfortable_o and_o content_o yet_o he_o say_v the_o philippian_n do_v well_o in_o communicate_v with_o his_o affliction_n and_o tell_v they_o that_o their_o charity_n towards_o he_o be_v a_o odour_n of_o a_o sweet_a smell_n a_o sacrifice_n acceptable_a and_o well_o please_v to_o god_n towards_o the_o church_n of_o god_n in_o general_n his_o indefatigable_a labour_n in_o preach_v and_o write_v his_o frequent_a fast_n and_o humiliation_n his_o fervent_a and_o wrestle_a prayer_n for_o the_o peace_n of_o jerusalem_n his_o affectionate_a sympathize_v with_o she_o in_o her_o suffering_n be_v the_o undeniable_a testimony_n of_o his_o love_n his_o own_o liberality_n and_o stir_v up_o of_o other_o thereunto_o for_o the_o education_n of_o such_o poor_a scholar_n as_o be_v hopeful_a for_o the_o work_n of_o the_o ministry_n be_v the_o effect_n of_o the_o same_o principle_n to_o which_o must_v be_v add_v his_o last-will_a and_o testament_n wherein_o out_o of_o pure_a zeal_n and_o love_n to_o the_o service_n and_o enlargement_n of_o the_o church_n he_o have_v bequeath_v the_o great_a part_n of_o his_o well_o furnish_v library_n even_o the_o choice_a and_o most_o valuable_a of_o his_o book_n to_o gonvile_n and_o caius_n college_n in_o cambridge_n with_o five_o hundred_o pound_n to_o be_v lay_v out_o by_o his_o executrix_n in_o purchase_v a_o freehold_n estate_n or_o impropriation_n to_o be_v settle_v upon_o the_o say_a college_n for_o the_o maintenance_n of_o a_o scholar_n and_o fellow_n there_o successive_o for_o ever_o provide_v that_o such_o only_o be_v elect_v thereto_o as_o be_v poor_a or_o orphan_n or_o the_o son_n of_o poor_a minister_n of_o the_o best_a and_o most_o hopeful_a part_n oblige_v they_o to_o the_o study_n of_o divinity_n and_o the_o ministerial_a work_n take_v special_a care_n that_o such_o be_v well_o ground_v and_o establish_v in_o the_o orthodox_n faith_n the_o true_a reform_a protestant_a religion_n and_o in_o case_n any_o such_o elect_v shall_v become_v corrupt_a in_o doctrine_n or_o scandalous_a in_o life_n then_o after_o due_a admonition_n and_o non-reformation_n his_o place_n to_o be_v declare_v void_a and_o another_o to_o be_v choose_v in_o his_o stead_n and_o none_o to_o enjoy_v it_o long_o than_o twelve_o year_n beside_o which_o he_o have_v also_o bequeath_v in_o case_n his_o only_a daughter_n shall_v die_v before_o she_o shall_v accomplish_v the_o age_n of_o one_o and_o twenty_o year_n twenty_o pound_n per_fw-la annum_fw-la to_o be_v settle_v upon_o the_o college_n in_o new_a england_n for_o the_o education_n of_o a_o convert_v indian_a or_o any_o other_o that_o will_v learn_v the_o indian_a language_n to_o be_v a_o minister_n and_o go_v to_o preach_v the_o gospel_n to_o the_o poor_a indian_n nor_o be_v this_o the_o first_o expression_n of_o his_o pious_a regard_n to_o that_o remote_a part_n of_o the_o world_n for_o when_o he_o hear_v of_o that_o waste_a fire_n that_o lay_v so_o great_a a_o part_n of_o boston_n in_o n._n e._n in_o ash_n he_o send_v thither_o free_o to_o be_v distribute_v among_o the_o sufferer_n a_o considerable_a quantity_n of_o his_o book_n entitle_v counsel_n to_o the_o afflict_a which_o he_o have_v write_v upon_o the_o occasion_n of_o the_o burn_a of_o london_n beyond_o which_o he_o have_v also_o give_v twenty_o five_o pound_n to_o charitable_a use_n which_o beque_v he_o have_v make_v yet_o with_o all_o due_a respect_n to_o his_o family_n not_o in_o the_o least_o decline_v from_o the_o kindness_n of_o a_o husband_n or_o the_o tenderness_n of_o a_o father_n so_o order_v his_o charity_n to_o other_o as_o withal_o secure_v to_o his_o widow_n and_o fatherless_a child_n not_o only_o a_o necessary_a and_o 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the_o the_o night_n before_o under_o conviction_n of_o the_o emptiness_n and_o barrenness_n of_o my_o soul_n and_o some_o despondency_n of_o spirit_n thereupon_o i_o conceive_v some_o hope_n and_o find_v my_o soul_n lift_v up_o towards_o god_n to_o wait_v for_o and_o expect_v the_o shed_v abroad_o of_o his_o spirit_n in_o my_o soul_n see_v he_o have_v say_v he_o will_v pour_v it_o out_o upon_o the_o dry_a ground_n but_o alas_o the_o lively_a sense_n of_o this_o be_v but_o momentany_a it_o be_v soon_o go_v and_o my_o old_a deadness_n of_o heart_n return_v upon_o i_o hence_o i_o observe_v that_o it_o be_v of_o singular_a use_n both_o for_o the_o establishment_n of_o true_a and_o discern_v of_o false_a comfort_n to_o see_v upon_o what_o ground_n our_o soul_n take_v in_o and_o upon_o what_o ground_n they_o let_v go_v their_o comfort_n the_o let_v go_v of_o our_o comfort_n ofttimes_o proceed_v from_o our_o let_n go_v of_o the_o promise_n when_o satan_n can_v prevail_v to_o beat_v we_o off_o from_o the_o promise_n he_o will_v quick_o rob_v we_o of_o our_o comfort_n i_o find_v that_o at_o several_a time_n i_o have_v be_v keep_v under_o doubt_n and_o fear_n and_o jealousy_n and_o yet_o have_v have_v no_o scripture_n ground_n for_o they_o so_o that_o i_o perceive_v they_o proceedeâ—_n from_o satan_n darken_n my_o heart_n and_o keep_v i_o in_o unbelief_n and_o trouble_v of_o spirit_n feb._n 16._o my_o soul_n be_v deject_v because_o after_o long_o wâ—iting_v upon_o god_n for_o the_o fulfil_n of_o his_o covenant_n in_o give_v his_o spirit_n and_o carry_v on_o the_o work_n of_o faith_n and_o sanctification_n with_o power_n it_o have_v find_v no_o sensible_a incomes_a when_o i_o be_v read_v the_o scripture_n according_a to_o my_o usual_a custom_n the_o lord_n do_v rebuke_v the_o despondency_n of_o
what_o great_a need_n i_o have_v and_o that_o it_o be_v of_o singular_a use_n to_o watch_v over_o my_o soul_n in_o all_o its_o way_n both_o in_o reference_n to_o sin_n that_o i_o fall_v not_o into_o it_o and_o when_o fall_v what_o the_o carriage_n and_o act_n of_o my_o soul_n be_v at_o such_o a_o time_n whether_o i_o flee_v for_o relief_n to_o god_n in_o christ_n or_o to_o my_o own_o work_n and_o in_o reference_n to_o my_o duty_n to_o take_v heed_n lest_o those_o mean_n which_o god_n have_v appoint_v to_o be_v the_o conveyance_n of_o himself_o his_o son_n and_o spirit_n and_o all_o spiritual_a blessing_n shall_v prove_v to_o i_o a_o mean_a of_o death_n and_o separation_n from_o god_n by_o my_o formal_a use_n of_o they_o and_o rest_v in_o they_o for_o as_o satan_n keep_v some_o alienate_v from_o god_n by_o the_o gross_a pollution_n of_o the_o world_n so_o other_o from_o christ_n by_o their_o establish_v a_o righteousness_n of_o their_o own_o o_o lord_n break_v thou_o this_o snare_n for_o i_o and_o let_v my_o soul_n escape_v as_o a_o bird_n from_o the_o net_n that_o i_o may_v flee_v to_o thou_o and_o be_v at_o rest_n i_o have_v observe_v in_o myself_o that_o when_o god_n at_o any_o time_n be_v please_v to_o work_v any_o thing_n in_o my_o soul_n i_o soon_o lose_v it_o if_o he_o quicken_v i_o i_o soon_o grow_v dead_a heart_a again_o if_o he_o enliven_v my_o affection_n they_o soon_o grow_v cold_a and_o flat_a and_o my_o old_a hardness_n return_v upon_o i_o hence_o i_o come_v to_o see_v that_o it_o be_v infinite_a wisdom_n and_o goodness_n in_o god_n that_o he_o have_v not_o put_v the_o stock_n of_o grace_n into_o our_o own_o hand_n but_o have_v treasure_v it_o up_o in_o christ_n that_o our_o life_n be_v now_o hide_v with_o christ_n in_o god_n for_o so_o it_o become_v sure_a rom._n 4._o 16._o hereby_o also_o i_o come_v to_o see_v that_o i_o have_v need_n of_o continual_a recourse_n to_o jesus_n christ_n for_o new_a supply_n of_o grace_n and_o strength_n the_o lord_n god_n in_o his_o wisdom_n be_v please_v when_o he_o deliver_v his_o people_n out_o of_o egypt_n before_o he_o bring_v they_o to_o canaan_n to_o lead_v they_o 40_o year_n in_o the_o wilderness_n when_o as_o he_o can_v have_v lead_v they_o a_o near_a way_n to_o canaan_n exod._n 13._o 17._o he_o choose_v rather_o to_o lead_v they_o through_o the_o great_a and_o terrible_a wilderness_n jer._n 2._o 6._o where_o be_v fiery_a serpent_n and_o scorpion_n and_o drought_n where_o there_o be_v no_o water_n where_o he_o bring_v they_o forth_o water_v out_o of_o the_o rock_n of_o flint_n and_o feed_v they_o with_o manna_n for_o this_o end_n that_o he_o may_v humble_v they_o prove_v they_o and_o do_v they_o good_a in_o the_o latter_a end_n deut._n 8._o 15_o 16._o do_v thou_o find_v it_o so_o o_o my_o soul_n in_o thy_o travail_n towards_o the_o heavenly_a canaan_n do_v thou_o walk_v through_o much_o spiritual_a drought_n a_o land_n of_o desert_n and_o of_o the_o shadow_n of_o death_n do_v meet_v with_o a_o flinty_a heart_n and_o fiery_a temptation_n know_v that_o the_o lord_n do_v this_o to_o humble_v thou_o which_o through_o his_o grace_n thou_o have_v sometime_o find_v and_o to_o prove_v thou_o i._n e_o to_o discover_v thou_o to_o thyself_o for_o he_o himself_o know_v thy_o thought_n afar_o off_o and_o this_o way_n of_o god_n through_o grace_n have_v be_v a_o mean_n of_o discover_v much_o of_o thy_o corrupt_a heart_n to_o thou_o and_o that_o he_o may_v do_v thou_o good_a in_o the_o latter_a end_n therefore_o take_v heed_n o_o my_o soul_n of_o israel_n sin_n of_o murmur_v against_o god_n under_o thy_o want_n of_o unbeleif_n and_o tempt_a god_n etc._n etc._n read_v oft_o and_o weight_n well_o the_o 78th_o psalm_n may_v 6._o be_v sabbath_n day_n the_o lord_n be_v please_v in_o the_o hear_n of_o his_o word_n to_o convince_v i_o of_o my_o sin_n and_o lose_v condition_n but_o lord_n how_o unfaithful_a be_v i_o then_o and_o have_v i_o be_v since_o to_o the_o conviction_n of_o thy_o spirit_n how_o soon_o have_v i_o heal_v up_o the_o wound_n that_o be_v give_v by_o the_o word_n how_o soon_o have_v a_o hard_a heart_n a_o secure_a careless_a spirit_n take_v possession_n of_o i_o lord_n if_o ever_o thy_o word_n be_v effectual_a in_o i_o thou_o must_v not_o only_o speak_v it_o to_o my_o heart_n but_o write_v and_o engraff_n it_o there_o also_o henceforth_o i_o desire_v to_o wait_v on_o thou_o as_o for_o the_o teach_n of_o thy_o spirit_n so_o for_o the_o write_n of_o thy_o law_n in_o my_o heart_n by_o thy_o spirit_n i_o find_v a_o lothness_n in_o my_o spirit_n to_o go_v to_o here_o this_o sermon_n whereby_o i_o perceive_v satan_n will_v have_v hinder_v i_o be_v encourage_v hence_o o_o my_o soul_n to_o break_v through_o all_o difficulty_n thou_o meet_v with_o in_o do_v thy_o duty_n when_o thou_o find_v any_o secret_a unwillingness_n to_o ordinance_n or_o duty_n then_o stir_v up_o thyself_o to_o wait_v upon_o god_n expect_v that_o he_o have_v some_o special_a mercy_n for_o thou_o which_o satan_n will_v hinder_v thou_o off_o jun._n 1._o this_o day_n the_o lord_n do_v in_o the_o hear_n of_o his_o word_n revive_v some_o conviction_n which_o have_v former_o be_v upon_o my_o spirit_n though_o in_o a_o very_a languid_a manner_n i_o stand_v convince_v before_o the_o lord_n of_o unbelief_n and_o that_o i_o be_v a_o lose_a creature_n because_o thereof_o from_o the_o word_n of_o our_o saviour_n joh._n 3._o 18._o he_o that_o believe_v not_o be_v condemn_v already_o conscience_n tell_v i_o that_o i_o be_o yet_o in_o unbelief_n that_o i_o want_v that_o faith_n which_o be_v accompany_v with_o the_o new_a birth_n joh._n 1._o 12_o 13._o that_o faith_n which_o shall_v purge_v i_o from_o atheism_n formality_n and_o rest_v in_o duty_n from_o hypocrisy_n and_o deadness_n from_o unclean_a affection_n and_o inordinate_a love_n of_o the_o world_n from_o a_o vain_a mind_n and_o a_o light_a spirit_n that_o faith_n which_o shall_v purify_v my_o heart_n from_o these_o and_o the_o like_a evil_n act._n 15._o 9_o that_o faith_n which_o shall_v make_v christ_n a_o great_a reality_n and_o more_o precious_a to_o i_o than_o any_o thing_n in_o the_o world_n 1_o pet._n 2._o 7._o that_o faith_n which_o bring_v peace_n with_o god_n and_o joy_n in_o the_o holy_a ghost_n unspeakable_a and_o full_a of_o glory_n rom._n 5._o 1._o 1_o pet._n 1._o 8._o i_o find_v i_o have_v have_v a_o dead_a faith_n jam._n 2._o 17_o 20._o and_o presume_v upon_o god_n mercy_n in_o christ_n although_o i_o have_v be_v estrange_v from_o god_n in_o my_o heart_n and_o nature_n my_o rest_a in_o duty_n and_o trust_v in_o my_o own_o righteousness_n as_o far_o as_o i_o can_v see_v have_v be_v the_o deceit_n of_o my_o heart_n lord_n lay_v this_o conviction_n upon_o my_o conscience_n for_o i_o find_v my_o heart_n will_v put_v it_o off_o yea_o it_o have_v already_o desperate_o harden_v itself_o against_o thou_o i_o fear_v i_o shall_v outgrow_a this_o conviction_n of_o thy_o word_n as_o at_o other_o time_n i_o feel_v a_o careless_a spirit_n that_o will_v make_v light_n of_o eternity_n and_o of_o jesus_n christ_n lord_n break_v my_o heart_n under_o thy_o word_n for_o my_o unbelief_n and_o neglect_v of_o christ_n let_v i_o not_o heal_v myself_o but_o wait_v till_o thou_o shall_v heal_v i_o thou_o do_v help_v the_o unbelief_n of_o thy_o servant_n thomas_n oh_o that_o thou_o will_v help_v i_o also_o the_o lord_n have_v show_v i_o that_o i_o be_o dead_a in_o sin_n not_o only_o from_o the_o testimony_n of_o his_o word_n eph._n 2._o 1._o col._n 2._o 13._o but_o by_o inward_a experience_n for_o i_o feel_v myself_o alienate_v from_o the_o life_n of_o god_n cut_v off_o from_o communion_n with_o the_o lord_n jesus_n separate_v from_o god_n and_o his_o bless_a spirit_n my_o deceitful_a heart_n have_v often_o go_v about_o to_o repel_v this_o conviction_n and_o have_v cause_v i_o sometime_o to_o mistake_v a_o life_n of_o morality_n for_o spiritual_a life_n and_o at_o other_o time_n a_o life_n of_o formality_n but_o now_o i_o find_v the_o scripture_n speak_v of_o dead_a work_n and_o call_v for_o repentance_n from_o they_o heb._n 6._o 1._o and_o purge_v our_o conscience_n from_o they_o heb._n 9_o 14._o by_o dead_a work_n i_o understand_v not_o only_o the_o gross_a pollution_n of_o the_o world_n but_o all_o work_n whatever_o that_o be_v do_v by_o a_o man_n void_a of_o the_o quicken_a spirit_n of_o god_n without_o union_n to_o christ_n there_o be_v no_o spiritual_a life_n for_o as_o the_o natural_a life_n result_v from_o the_o union_n of_o the_o soul_n with_o the_o body_n and_o the_o state_n of_o death_n be_v nothing_o but_o the_o
disunion_n and_o separation_n of_o the_o soul_n from_o the_o body_n so_o our_o spiritual_a life_n result_v from_o the_o soul_n union_n with_o christ_n and_o spiritual_a death_n be_v our_o separation_n from_o he_o now_o i_o feel_v myself_o as_o a_o poor_a wither_a branch_n cut_v off_o from_o this_o vine_n unacquainted_a with_o the_o act_n of_o this_o spiritual_a life_n as_o live_v by_o faith_n serve_v god_n in_o spirit_n mortify_v sin_n by_o the_o spirit_n walk_v in_o the_o spirit_n love_v god_n above_o all_o thing_n and_o seek_v his_o glory_n in_o all_o thing_n i_o have_v sometime_o pray_v against_o sin_n resolve_v against_o it_o strive_v with_o it_o avoid_v occasion_n thereto_o all_o which_o a_o natural_a man_n may_v do_v but_o sin_n have_v return_v upon_o i_o and_o overcome_v i_o how_o to_o fetch_v power_n from_o christ_n death_n to_o mortify_v sin_n how_o to_o believe_v in_o god_n for_o subdue_a it_o how_o to_o do_v it_o by_o the_o spirit_n these_o have_v be_v mystery_n to_o i_o lord_n when_o shall_v the_o day_n dawn_n and_o the_o daystar_n arise_v in_o my_o heart_n when_o shall_v the_o dayspring_n from_o on_o high_a visit_v my_o soul_n to_o give_v light_n to_o he_o that_o sit_v in_o darkness_n and_o in_o the_o shadow_n of_o death_n come_v lord_n jesus_n thou_o light_v of_o life_n come_v quick_o that_o which_o keep_v i_o a_o long_a time_n from_o resolve_v to_o give_v up_o my_o whole_a heart_n to_o god_n in_o covenant_n be_v a_o fear_n that_o i_o shall_v break_v my_o covenant_n and_o so_o double_a my_o sin_n but_o i_o perceive_v since_o that_o this_o be_v but_o satan_n policy_n to_o keep_v my_o heart_n from_o god_n and_o the_o true_a ground_n of_o my_o not_o do_v this_o be_v not_o conscienciousness_n of_o sin_n as_o satan_n once_o make_v i_o believe_v but_o a_o loathness_n to_o part_v with_o all_o sin_n and_o to_o serve_v god_n with_o all_o my_o heart_n a_o strong_a encouragement_n thou_o have_v o_o my_o soul_n to_o enter_v covenant_n with_o god_n to_o serve_v he_o with_o thy_o whole_a heart_n from_o that_o portion_n of_o his_o word_n which_o thou_o do_v read_v this_o morning_n may._n 11._o 1654._o in_o jer._n 30._o 21_o 22._o who_o be_v this_o that_o engage_v his_o heart_n to_o approach_v unto_o i_o say_v the_o lord_n you_o shall_v be_v my_o people_n and_o i_o will_v be_v your_o god_n since_o my_o covenant_v with_o god_n i_o come_v to_o see_v more_o full_o the_o truth_n of_o that_o place_n rom._n 8._o 7._o the_o carnal_a mind_n be_v enmity_n against_o god_n be_v not_o subject_a to_o the_o law_n of_o god_n neither_o indeed_o can_v be_v for_o i_o find_v a_o loathness_n to_o walk_v close_o with_o god_n yea_o under_o a_o profession_n of_o religion_n my_o carnal_a heart_n have_v be_v at_o enmity_n to_o the_o power_n and_o life_n of_o it_o and_o this_o enmity_n have_v lyen_fw-we hide_v under_o and_o be_v cover_v with_o a_o performance_n of_o some_o duty_n which_o have_v not_o be_v destructive_a to_o that_o evil_a principle_n that_o have_v live_v in_o i_o yea_o i_o find_v my_o carnal_a heart_n be_v hunger_a after_o the_o fleshpot_n of_o egypt_n after_o its_o old_a delight_n and_o sinful_a pleasure_n be_v ready_a to_o murmur_v against_o god_n in_o the_o wilderness_n and_o speak_v of_o return_v into_o egypt_n and_o be_v impatient_a of_o the_o cross_n it_o revolt_v from_o god_n many_o a_o time_n and_o seek_v relief_n and_o contentment_n from_o the_o creature_n since_o my_o covenant_v with_o god_n i_o see_v more_o of_o thou_o treachery_n and_o hypocrisy_n of_o my_o heart_n i_o find_v my_o soul_n for_o a_o while_n more_o tender_a of_o sin_n and_o my_o heart_n seem_o engage_v to_o serve_v the_o lord_n but_o i_o soon_o forget_v the_o covenant_n that_o i_o have_v make_v and_o in_o a_o short_a space_n i_o do_v not_o find_v that_o my_o covenant_n have_v any_o influence_n on_o my_o heart_n or_o life_n so_o that_o i_o see_v i_o do_v but_o flatter_v the_o lord_n with_o my_o mouth_n and_o lie_v unto_o he_o with_o my_o tongue_n for_o my_o heart_n be_v not_o right_a with_o he_o neither_o be_v i_o steadfast_a in_o his_o covenant_n ps_n 78._o 36_o 37._o my_o unstedfastness_n in_o my_o covenant_n with_o the_o lord_n do_v arise_v as_o far_o as_o i_o perceive_v from_o these_o two_o ground_n 1._o my_o heart_n be_v not_o right_a with_o god_n when_o i_o make_v it_o there_o be_v not_o that_o inward_a cordial_a full_a resolution_n to_o part_v with_o all_o sin_n and_o that_o for_o ever_o from_o a_o antipathy_n to_o it_o and_o dislike_v of_o it_o neither_o that_o inward_a resolution_n of_o cleave_v to_o god_n to_o have_v he_o my_o all_o in_o all_o to_o take_v all_o my_o contentment_n and_o joy_n in_o he_o and_o to_o seek_v it_o in_o nothing_o else_o which_o shall_v have_v be_v 2._o i_o neglect_v my_o watch_n and_o do_v not_o as_o i_o shall_v renew_v my_o covenant_n often_o and_o engage_v my_o heart_n to_o walk_v with_o god_n and_o while_o i_o be_v slothful_a and_o negligent_a my_o heart_n be_v steal_v away_o by_o the_o devil_n and_o the_o world_n and_o be_v now_o in_o league_n again_o with_o sin_n lord_n make_v i_o upright_o and_o clear_v up_o to_o i_o my_o sincerity_n search_v i_o and_o try_v i_o and_o let_v i_o know_v the_o bottom_n of_o my_o heart_n keep_v i_o upon_o my_o watch_n and_o guard_n that_o i_o may_v keep_v my_o covenant_n jul._n 23._o the_o lord_n do_v awaken_v my_o conscience_n to_o such_o a_o sense_n of_o my_o sin_n and_o lose_v estate_n in_o the_o read_n and_o hear_v of_o his_o word_n that_o when_o i_o go_v to_o prayer_n i_o be_v before_o he_o as_o a_o lose_a creature_n be_v under_o wrath_n and_o the_o sentence_n of_o death_n lie_v in_o my_o blood_n and_o pollution_n now_o whereas_o before_o i_o find_v my_o heart_n carry_v out_o in_o beg_a sanctification_n i_o do_v now_o cry_v to_o god_n for_o the_o blood_n of_o christ_n to_o wash_v away_o the_o guilt_n of_o my_o sin_n i_o do_v not_o before_o prize_v justify_v grace_n so_o as_o now_o in_o some_o weak_a measure_n i_o be_v make_v to_o do_v but_o i_o soon_o find_v a_o accurse_a hard_a heart_n in_o a_o little_a time_n i_o do_v not_o tremble_v at_o the_o wrath_n of_o god_n i_o have_v labour_v to_o work_v these_o conviction_n upon_o my_o heart_n but_o i_o find_v such_o a_o rove_a heart_n such_o a_o slighty_a heart_n so_o possess_v with_o vanity_n that_o nothing_o will_v abide_v with_o it_o lord_n unless_o thou_o save_v i_o for_o thy_o mercy_n sake_n i_o perish_v aug._n 6._o be_v sabbath_n day_n in_o meditation_n on_o 1_o joh._n 3._o 23._o this_o be_v his_o commandment_n that_o we_o shall_v believe_v on_o the_o name_n of_o his_o son_n jesus_n christ_n consider_v with_o myself_o what_o this_o do_v imply_v viz._n not_o only_o a_o rely_v upon_o god_n in_o christ_n for_o the_o remission_n of_o sin_n but_o for_o the_o pour_v out_o of_o the_o spirit_n joh._n 7._o 38_o 39_o which_o spirit_n when_o it_o be_v give_v will_v shed_v abroad_o the_o love_n of_o god_n in_o our_o heart_n rom._n 5._o 5._o and_o seal_v up_o the_o assurance_n of_o the_o remission_n of_o our_o sin_n and_o witness_v our_o addoption_n rom._n 8_o 16._o will_v mortify_v sin_n in_o we_o v_o 13._o and_o work_v all_o the_o work_n of_o god_n in_o we_o and_o for_o we_o all_o which_o i_o want_v and_o to_o which_o i_o haven_n be_v a_o long_a time_n convince_v that_o i_o be_o unable_a and_o consider_v further_o that_o this_o spirit_n be_v the_o free_a gift_n of_o god_n ps_n 51._o 12._o give_v not_o according_a to_o our_o work_n but_o of_o free_a mercy_n for_o the_o sake_n of_o christ_n tit._n 3._o 4._o 5_o 6._o and_o consider_v further_o that_o jesus_n christ_n have_v receive_v gift_n of_o which_o the_o gift_n of_o the_o spirit_n be_v intend_v even_o for_o the_o rebellious_a that_o god_n may_v dwell_v among_o they_o ps_n 68_o 18._o i_o find_v my_o heart_n encourage_v to_o wait_v upon_o the_o lord_n for_o the_o pour_v forth_o of_o his_o spirit_n upon_o i_o that_o i_o may_v have_v my_o heart_n renew_v and_o sanctify_a and_o the_o remission_n of_o my_o sin_n seal_v up_o to_o my_o soul_n afterward_o consider_v further_o that_o the_o way_n whereby_o a_o poor_a soul_n that_o have_v lose_v god_n image_n come_v to_o be_v renew_v in_o heart_n and_o mind_n and_o make_v partaker_n of_o the_o divine_a nature_n be_v by_o faith_n in_o the_o promise_n 2_o pet._n 1._o 4._o and_o observe_v how_o isaac_n who_o inherit_v the_o blessing_n be_v not_o bear_v by_o the_o strength_n of_o nature_n but_o by_o promise_n and_o as_o isaac_n be_v bear_v through_o the_o promise_n so_o be_v all_o believer_n gal._n 4._o 28._o not_o of_o the_o will_n of_o man_n
to_o want_v nor_o how_o to_o abound_v apt_a to_o murmur_v and_o repine_v in_o strait_o and_o to_o be_v lift_v up_o and_o grow_v secure_a in_o enlargement_n o_o lord_n in_o every_o condition_n i_o need_v thy_o grace_n to_o teach_v i_o how_o to_o behave_v myself_o o_o show_v i_o thy_o way_n and_o lead_v i_o therein_o for_o thy_o namesake_n also_o the_o lord_n teach_v i_o hence_o that_o i_o ought_v to_o be_v patient_a under_o his_o hand_n when_o he_o hide_v his_o face_n and_o to_o resign_v up_o my_o will_n to_o his_o will_n inasmuch_o as_o i_o do_v not_o know_v what_o be_v good_a for_o myself_o the_o lord_n see_v i_o shall_v be_v worse_o it_o may_v be_v if_o i_o enjoy_v more_o than_o i_o do_v and_o therefore_o in_o wisdom_n and_o mercy_n he_o keep_v i_o in_o a_o low_a condition_n my_o confusion_n sometime_o have_v be_v so_o great_a that_o i_o have_v be_v so_o unsettle_a and_o at_o such_o a_o loss_n in_o my_o soul_n that_o i_o know_v not_o what_o to_o do_v all_o former_a work_n have_v be_v question_v and_o judge_v as_o nothing_o in_o the_o hour_n of_o such_o temptation_n the_o lord_n teach_v i_o beside_o prayer_n and_o search_v into_o my_o soul_n to_o have_v recourse_n to_o former_a experience_n psal_n 77._o 10_o 11._o and_o psal_n 85._o octob._n 11._o in_o the_o morning_n i_o bewail_v it_o before_o god_n that_o i_o be_v still_o at_o a_o loss_n to_o know_v whether_o i_o love_v he_o and_o after_o prayer_n i_o read_v 1_o joh._n 2_o ch_n and_o i_o be_v make_v in_o a_o more_o special_a manner_n to_o take_v notice_n of_o v_o 5._o whoso_o keep_v his_o word_n in_o he_o very_o be_v the_o love_n of_o god_n perfect_v methinks_v i_o see_v god_n answer_v my_o prayer_n and_o tell_v i_o out_o of_o this_o word_n that_o i_o love_v he_o in_o he_o very_o 〈◊〉_d 〈◊〉_d 〈◊〉_d 〈◊〉_d 〈◊〉_d it_o be_v a_o sure_a sign_n of_o love_n to_o god_n we_o need_v not_o doubt_v of_o it_o if_o we_o keep_v his_o word_n now_o if_o i_o know_v my_o own_o heart_n i_o desire_v to_o do_v so_o if_o the_o love_n of_o god_n be_v perfect_v in_o he_o that_o keep_v his_o word_n then_o sure_o it_o be_v begin_v in_o he_o that_o desire_v and_o endeavour_n to_o keep_v his_o word_n jan._n 25._o the_o lord_n help_v i_o with_o tear_n to_o bewall_n my_o abomination_n even_o my_o original_a and_o actual_a sin_n my_o formality_n earthliness_n alienation_n from_o he_o etc._n etc._n therein_o he_o do_v remember_v and_o fulfil_v that_o gracious_a promise_n ezek._n 36._o 31._o i_o find_v godly_a sorrow_n sweet_a not_o only_o in_o the_o root_n and_o fountain_n thereof_o it_o be_v a_o covenant_n blessing_n but_o in_o the_o very_a act_n of_o it_o feb._n 2._o in_o the_o evening_n upon_o my_o bed_n the_o lord_n do_v gracious_o melt_v my_o heart_n in_o the_o sight_n of_o sin_n under_o this_o consideration_n that_o it_o be_v against_o infinite_a love_n i_o be_v ashamed_a confound_v and_o abash_v because_o i_o have_v so_o long_o slight_v neglect_v rebel_v against_o a_o god_n of_o love_n my_o soul_n even_o tremble_v at_o it_o jan._n 15._o 1655._o have_v be_v the_o day_n before_o with_o one_o under_o great_a temptation_n and_o hear_v of_o another_o under_o a_o wound_a spirit_n my_o heart_n be_v melt_v in_o prayer_n whilst_o i_o be_v praise_v god_n for_o his_o long_a patience_n in_o the_o day_n of_o my_o sin_v and_o his_o tenderness_n and_o gentleness_n towards_o i_o in_o my_o conversion_n jan._n 16._o i_o find_v my_o heart_n draw_v out_o to_o a_o recumbence_n on_o jesus_n christ_n the_o spirit_n say_v come_v rev._n 22._o 17._o christ_n say_v come_v joh._n 7._o 37._o and_o the_o father_n say_v come_v mat._n 22._o 4._o and_o who_o be_o i_o o_o lord_n that_o i_o shall_v gainsay_v such_o invitation_n behold_v o_o lord_n i_o come_v and_o put_v my_o trust_n in_o thou_o jan._n 26._o i_o preach_v twice_o and_o have_v very_o gracious_a assistance_n much_o beyond_o expectation_n in_o the_o week_n before_o i_o be_v much_o indispose_v and_o can_v not_o get_v my_o heart_n to_o a_o settle_a meditation_n of_o what_o i_o be_v to_o speak_v i_o be_v under_o a_o great_a sense_n of_o my_o impotency_n and_o labour_v in_o the_o fire_n till_o saturday_n afternoon_n when_o i_o cry_v to_o the_o lord_n he_o be_v gracious_a to_o i_o and_o answer_v i_o after_o my_o work_n be_v over_o i_o be_v much_o assault_v with_o spiritual_a pride_n i_o see_v plain_o the_o reason_n of_o god_n delay_v his_o assistance_n and_o give_v i_o such_o sense_n of_o my_o weakness_n be_v to_o keep_v i_o humble_a every_o way_n o_o lord_n i_o see_v my_o own_o vileness_n when_o thou_o withdrawe_v from_o i_o than_o my_o heart_n die_v and_o my_o strength_n fail_v and_o i_o be_o ready_a to_o be_v froward_a when_o thou_o enlarge_v i_o than_o i_o be_o ready_a to_o be_v puff_v up_o oh_o pardon_n and_o purge_v away_o all_o my_o sin_n for_o thy_o name_n sake_n mar._n 23._o in_o sing_v the_o 15_o the_o psalm_n i_o find_v comfort_n my_o conscience_n bear_v i_o witness_v that_o i_o labour_v after_o those_o thing_n which_o be_v set_v down_o as_o character_n of_o a_o citizen_n of_o the_o new_a jerusalem_n sept._n 28._o i_o have_v sweet_a meditation_n upon_o my_o bed_n i_o find_v god_n in_o my_o morning_n prayer_n also_o in_o private_a and_o assistance_n in_o preach_v but_o not_o such_o a_o influence_n of_o the_o spirit_n in_o public_a prayer_n as_o i_o have_v sometime_o find_v yet_o i_o have_v beg_v of_o god_n that_o he_o will_v give_v i_o his_o presence_n in_o public_a as_o a_o token_n that_o he_o accept_v of_o i_o and_o my_o work_n but_o he_o withdraw_v i_o fear_v hereupon_o that_o i_o have_v tempt_v god_n and_o sin_v in_o beg_v new_a sign_n of_o his_o favour_n when_o i_o have_v have_v such_o great_a experience_n of_o his_o goodness_n many_o time_n before_o lord_n forgive_v the_o sin_n of_o thy_o servant_n nou._n 23._o examine_v myself_o about_o a_o work_n of_o grace_n i_o have_v some_o comfort_n from_o ps_n 40._o 8._o delight_n in_o do_v the_o will_n of_o god_n be_v a_o argument_n of_o the_o law_n write_v in_o the_o heart_n now_o i_o find_v that_o i_o have_v a_o delight_n especial_o in_o some_o duty_n as_o visit_v the_o sick_a comfort_v of_o distress_a conscience_n etc._n etc._n i_o be_v somewhat_o terrify_v from_o that_o word_n in_o job_n ch_n 42._o 7._o i_o be_v afraid_a lest_o in_o my_o preach_v i_o shall_v sometime_o speak_v those_o thing_n of_o god_n that_o be_v not_o right_a and_o soon_o after_o go_v to_o prayer_n i_o be_v in_o time_n of_o prayer_n comfort_v from_o joh._n 16._o 13._o the_o spirit_n shall_v guide_v you_o into_o all_o truth_n dec._n 7._o i_o find_v the_o lord_n very_o much_o answer_v my_o prayer_n in_o give_v very_o gracious_a and_o powerful_a assistance_n both_o in_o prayer_n and_o preach_v at_o trinity_n lecture_n on_o sabbath_n day_n i_o may_v say_v as_o jaber_n 1_o chron._n 4._o 10._o who_o say_v oh_o that_o thou_o will_v bless_v i_o indeed_o and_o be_v with_o i_o and_o god_n grant_v my_o request_n the_o next_o morning_n there_o come_v a_o woman_n to_o i_o and_o say_v she_o be_v trouble_v at_o the_o sermon_n that_o she_o can_v scarce_o sleep_v all_o night_n for_o she_o bid_v not_o go_v so_o far_o as_o the_o scribe_n and_o pharisee_n and_o that_o which_o add_v to_o the_o mercy_n be_v god_n keep_v i_o humble_a after_o this_o enlargement_n mar._n 31._o 1657._o i_o have_v a_o very_a evident_a answer_n of_o prayer_n i_o be_v at_o a_o pinch_n for_o some_o money_n i_o beg_v of_o god_n that_o i_o may_v be_v supply_v and_o that_o afternoon_n one_o to_o who_o i_o have_v lend_v a_o little_a money_n bring_v it_o i_o which_o be_v enough_o for_o my_o present_a necessity_n the_o circumstance_n be_v very_o remarkable_a i_o seek_v the_o lord_n also_o to_o be_v with_o the_o parish_n in_o the_o choice_n of_o their_o churchwarden_n and_o there_o be_v those_o two_o choose_v who_o if_o i_o have_v have_v the_o nomination_n i_o shall_v have_v choose_v myself_o apr._n 21._o i_o keep_v a_o day_n of_o fast_a to_o the_o lord_n i_o find_v god_n gracious_o with_o i_o in_o prayer_n the_o chief_a thing_n that_o i_o propound_v be_v to_o seek_v direction_n as_o to_o my_o preach_v on_o weekday_n among_o other_o thing_n i_o beg_v of_o god_n a_o supply_n of_o my_o want_n be_v in_o some_o strait_n for_o want_n of_o money_n that_o very_a night_n one_o bring_v i_o 10_o s._n for_o preach_v a_o funeral_n sermon_n which_o i_o expect_v not_o and_o the_o next_o morning_n the_o churchwarden_n of_o st._n andrews_n parish_n bring_v i_o 7_o l._n and_o upward_o whereby_o i_o be_v sufficient_o supply_v i_o can_v not_o but_o take_v notice_n of_o
meet_v with_o in_o my_o course_n of_o private_a read_n ps_n 19_o 13._o keep_v back_o thy_o servant_n from_o presumptuous_a sin_n let_v they_o not_o have_v dominion_n over_o i_o where_o i_o consider_v 1._o that_o david_n find_v in_o his_o heart_n a_o proness_n to_o presumptuous_a sin_n which_o make_v he_o cry_v out_o keep_v back_o thy_o servant_n etc._n etc._n 2._o he_o be_v not_o without_o fear_n or_o danger_n lest_o presumptuous_a sin_n shall_v get_v the_o dominion_n over_o he_o for_o he_o pray_v let_v they_o not_o have_v dominion_n 3._o when_o he_o find_v it_o thus_o with_o himself_o he_o call_v himself_o god_n servant_a keep_v back_o thy_o servant_n this_o word_n come_v when_o my_o heart_n have_v be_v upon_o the_o border_n of_o a_o presumptuous_a sin_n do_v much_o affect_v i_o febr._n 6._o be_v a_o day_n of_o humiliation_n i_o be_v much_o indispose_v to_o the_o duty_n of_o the_o day_n i_o find_v my_o heart_n unfit_a to_o pray_v in_o private_a and_o to_o perform_v family_n exercise_v the_o sense_n of_o guilt_n have_v cloud_v and_o bow_v down_o my_o soul_n in_o the_o evening_n god_n revive_v my_o soul_n with_o isa_n 64._o 6_o 7_o 8._o they_o complain_v they_o be_v all_o as_o a_o unclean_a thing_n their_o righteousness_n as_o filthy_a rag_n there_o be_v a_o flag_a of_o the_o spirit_n of_o prayer_n and_o this_o in_o a_o time_n of_o great_a judgement_n as_o v_o 10_o 11._o yet_o they_o say_v but_o now_o thou_o o_o lord_n be_v our_o father_n this_o suit_v my_o condition_n and_o encourage_v i_o to_o believe_v my_o relation_n to_o god_n and_o his_o to_o i_o as_o my_o father_n though_o i_o find_v myself_o under_o the_o foresay_a distemper_n i_o be_v also_o support_v against_o my_o sin_n with_o 1_o joh._n 2._o 24._o let_v that_o abide_v in_o you_o which_o you_o have_v hear_v from_o the_o beginning_n if_o that_o which_o you_o have_v hear_v from_o the_o beginning_n shall_v remain_v in_o you_o you_o shall_v continue_v in_o the_o father_n and_o the_o son_n by_o which_o i_o be_v encourage_v to_o hold_v fast_o what_o instruction_n comfort_n and_o support_v i_o have_v former_o receive_v from_o god_n that_o which_o you_o have_v hear_v viz._n from_o the_o teach_n of_o the_o spirit_n joh._n 6._o 45._o from_o the_o beginning_n viz._n from_o the_o time_n they_o begin_v to_o believe_v in_o christ_n heb._n 3._o 14._o nou._n 28._o 1669._o be_v saturday_n i_o be_v visit_v with_o a_o fever_n when_o i_o be_v under_o the_o visitation_n i_o look_v over_o my_o evidence_n for_o heaven_n &_o have_v comfortable_a hope_n of_o my_o salvation_n from_o several_a promise_n whereby_o the_o fear_n of_o death_n be_v remove_v my_o life_n be_v in_o hazard_n many_o prayer_n be_v put_v up_o for_o i_o god_n direct_v to_o the_o timely_a use_n of_o proper_a mean_n and_o give_v his_o blessing_n and_o restore_v i_o to_o my_o work_n on_o the_o four_o lord_n day_n as_o a_o return_n to_o prayer_n in_o my_o sickness_n before_o the_o danger_n be_v probable_o pass_v in_o the_o night_n season_n i_o have_v very_o clear_a and_o awful_a apprehension_n of_o the_o majesty_n of_o god_n as_o though_o i_o have_v hear_v god_n speak_v to_o i_o out_o of_o isa_n 57_o 15._o i_o who_o be_o the_o high_a and_o lofty_a one_o that_o inhabit_v eternity_n etc._n etc._n and_o then_o methinks_v it_o be_v say_v to_o i_o surgite_fw-la ministri_fw-la &_o servi_fw-la praedicate_fw-la evangelium_fw-la ad_fw-la conversionem_fw-la peccatorum_fw-la arise_v you_o minister_n and_o servant_n of_o god_n and_o preach_v the_o gospel_n for_o the_o conversion_n of_o sinner_n and_o afterward_o it_o be_v say_v to_o i_o you_o shall_v not_o die_v but_o live_v and_o declare_v the_o work_n of_o the_o lord_n fear_v thou_o not_o thou_o have_v bear_v witness_n to_o my_o name_n in_o this_o place_n thou_o shall_v bear_v witness_n also_o to_o my_o name_n where_o i_o shall_v call_v thou_o to_o which_o my_o soul_n bow_v down_o and_o i_o reply_v lord_n i_o be_o willing_a to_o follow_v thou_o if_o thou_o shall_v satisfy_v i_o that_o thou_o call_v i_o i_o can_v not_o certain_o tell_v whether_o i_o be_v awake_a or_o sleep_a or_o slumber_v but_o the_o matter_n be_v so_o affect_v coherent_a and_o come_v with_o some_o power_n i_o lay_v it_o up_o in_o my_o heart_n not_o know_v but_o it_o may_v be_v useful_a to_o i_o jan._n 30._o 1671._o my_o treatise_n of_o family_n instruction_n be_v finish_v and_o publish_v i_o resolve_v after_o several_a time_n seek_v god_n and_o consult_v with_o my_o own_o soul_n to_o set_v upon_o compose_v a_o treatise_n of_o glorify_v god_n the_o ground_n or_o reason_n induce_v i_o hereunto_o be_v 1._o the_o command_v give_v to_o all_o person_n in_o all_o nation_n to_o declare_v the_o glory_n of_o god_n 1_o chron._n 16._o 23_o 24._o i_o see_v here_o i_o may_v lawful_o yea_o it_o be_v my_o duty_n to_o do_v what_o i_o can_v to_o set_v forth_o the_o glory_n of_o god_n and_o see_v i_o be_v take_v off_o from_o my_o public_a preach_v i_o may_v do_v it_o more_o beneficial_o by_o write_v and_o print_v 2._o my_o spirit_n have_v be_v for_o several_a year_n put_v upon_o and_o stir_v up_o to_o write_v on_o this_o subject_a i_o make_v a_o little_a beginning_n in_o the_o year_n 1664._o but_o lay_v it_o aside_o and_o in_o time_n of_o sickness_n i_o have_v find_v a_o lothness_n to_o die_v till_o that_o work_n be_v do_v and_o have_v meet_v with_o many_o cross_a providence_n as_o if_o send_v with_o a_o tacit_n reproof_n for_o neglect_v this_o work_n now_o the_o stir_v up_o the_o spirit_n to_o a_o good_a work_n be_v of_o god_n and_o part_n of_o god_n call_v to_o the_o work_n exod._n 36._o 2._o ezr._n 1._o 5._o hagg._n 1._o 14._o 3._o i_o be_v under_o many_o engagement_n to_o glorify_v god_n as_o 1_o st_z the_o many_o and_o great_a mercy_n i_o have_v receive_v for_o my_o soul_n by_o the_o teach_n and_o consolation_n of_o his_o spirit_n and_o many_o outward_a mercy_n above_o my_o other_o relation_n which_o be_v engagement_n to_o glorify_v god_n ps_n 86._o 12_o 13._o 2_o lie_n the_o eminent_a deliverance_n i_o have_v have_v from_o sickness_n the_o pestilence_n and_o other_o trouble_v psal_n 50._o 15._o 3_o lie_n the_o wonderful_a preservation_n i_o have_v have_v from_o my_o enemy_n notwithstanding_o all_o the_o hazard_n i_o have_v run_v of_o fall_v into_o their_o hand_n by_o preach_v the_o gospel_n at_o home_n and_o abroad_o which_o shall_v engage_v i_o to_o extol_v and_o glorify_v god_n psal_n 30._o 1._o 4._o i_o do_v hope_n for_o benefit_n to_o my_o own_o soul_n both_o by_o be_v further_o enlighten_v into_o the_o knowledge_n and_o excite_v to_o the_o practice_n of_o glorify_v god_n while_o i_o be_v study_v to_o instruct_v and_o excite_v other_o thereto_o july_n 17._o 1672._o god_n have_v open_v a_o door_n for_o the_o free_a exercise_n of_o my_o ministry_n by_o his_o majesty_n most_o gracious_a declaration_n i_o be_v desire_v both_o at_o ipswich_n and_o colchester_n to_o minister_v to_o they_o i_o have_v discouragement_n as_o from_o the_o uncertainty_n of_o the_o time_n not_o know_v whether_o this_o liberty_n will_v continue_v or_o a_o time_n of_o trouble_n and_o persecution_n arise_v the_o difference_n and_o animosity_n that_o be_v among_o professor_n and_o the_o enmity_n that_o be_v on_o the_o part_n of_o the_o adversary_n i_o consider_v of_o it_o and_o have_v encouragement_n from_o the_o word_n thereto_o as_o 1_o pet._n 5._o 2._o 4._o with_o vers_n 7._o as_o also_o from_o josh_n 1._o 9_o joshua_n have_v difficult_a work_n before_o he_o potent_a enemy_n that_o dwell_v in_o fence_a city_n the_o people_n with_o who_o he_o have_v to_o do_v have_v so_o exasperate_v moses_n his_o spirit_n by_o their_o frequent_a murmur_n that_o once_o he_o cry_v out_o to_o god_n to_o be_v kill_v out_o of_o hand_n that_o he_o may_v not_o see_v his_o own_o wretchedness_n numb_a 11._o 15._o another_o time_n he_o speak_v so_o unadvised_o with_o his_o lip_n that_o he_o anger_v god_n and_o be_v shut_v out_o of_o canaan_n joshua_n may_v well_o fear_v when_o he_o be_v to_o enter_v on_o this_o work_n therefore_o god_n speak_v four_o time_n to_o he_o to_o encourage_v he_o be_v strong_a be_v of_o good_a courage_n etc._n etc._n and_o give_v he_o two_o argument_n to_o encourage_v he_o 1_o sy_n his_o call_n have_v not_o i_o command_v thou_o 2_o lie_n a_o promise_n of_o his_o presence_n as_o his_o god_n whence_o i_o ob_v 1._o god_n will_v be_v with_o his_o people_n in_o all_o place_n whithersoever_o they_o go_v 2._o the_o promise_n of_o god_n presence_n may_v take_v off_o all_o fear_n arise_v either_o from_o the_o temper_n of_o the_o people_n with_o who_o we_o shall_v have_v to_o do_v or_o the_o difficulty_n of_o our_o work_n or_o