refuse_v the_o seal_n thereof_o i_o know_v i_o be_o vile_a i_o be_o vile_a but_o thou_o have_v pardon_v i_o lord_n i_o have_v abuse_v thy_o love_n a_o thousand_o time_n refuse_v thy_o offer_a self_n and_o withstand_v the_o tender_n of_o thy_o grace_n but_o thou_o have_v cover_v all_o my_o sin_n thou_o have_v free_o justify_v i_o by_o thy_o grace_n and_o make_v a_o full_a atonement_n for_o i_o by_o thy_o blood_n this_o be_v that_o thou_o free_o bid_v i_o take_v and_o i_o have_v free_o drink_v it_o never_o be_v wine_n so_o full_a as_o this_o be_v never_o be_v bowl_n so_o full_a of_o pleasure_n as_o this_o i_o have_v swallow_v down_o my_o life_n and_o pardon_n at_o one_o draught_n i_o take_v it_o from_o my_o saviour_n hand_n it_o be_v a_o cup_n of_o his_o own_o prepare_v if_o ever_o drink_n be_v sugar_a this_o be_v i_o never_o taste_v better_o relish_v wine_n in_o all_o my_o life_n the_o rich_a cordial_n can_v match_v this_o draught_n divine_a spirit_n of_o pearl_n dissolve_v will_v but_o dead_a this_o wine_n oh_o when_o my_o hope_n but_o kiss_v the_o purple_a dew_n they_o hang_v and_o cleave_v so_o as_o if_o they_o be_v loath_a to_o let_v thou_o go_v they_o strive_v and_o struggle_v to_o get_v near_o my_o heart_n as_o if_o intend_v there_o to_o take_v a_o part_n i_o dare_v not_o say_v they_o nay_o blood_n from_o that_o bowl_n may_v the_o best_a room_n command_v within_o my_o soul_n what_o a_o sudden_a strange_a yet_o happy_a alteration_n do_v i_o find_v within_o my_o languid_a spirit_n be_v revive_v my_o winter_n be_v over_o methinks_v i_o feel_v my_o life_n and_o joy_n to_o spring_v amain_o my_o aaron_n rod_n a_o dry_a stick_n but_o now_o do_v bloom_n and_o flourish_v my_o new_o engraft_a soul_n be_v full_a of_o infant-cluster_n blood_n at_o the_o root_n of_o vine_n they_o say_v produce_v rich_a wine_n oh_o if_o my_o lord_n will_v undertake_v to_o dress_v this_o vine_n and_o trickle_v down_o his_o blood_n into_o my_o root_n then_o draw_v it_o up_o into_o each_o branch_n of_o grace_n by_o the_o warm_a beam_n of_o his_o revive_a love_n then_o let_v my_o dear_a come_v let_v he_o come_v as_o he_o have_v promise_v and_o bring_v my_o father_n and_o his_o father_n with_o he_o and_o sup_v both_o with_o i_o and_o in_o i_o let_v they_o come_v and_o i_o will_v bid_v they_o a_o welcome_a i_o shall_v have_v a_o fruit_n to_o present_v they_o with_o which_o they_o themselves_o shall_v say_v be_v pleasant_a i_o shall_v not_o send_v my_o father_n away_o now_o so_o oft_o complain_v i_o come_v to_o seek_v for_o grape_n and_o fruit_n but_o behold_v wild_a one_o the_o conclusion_n oh_o how_o unwilling_o do_v i_o rise_v methinks_v i_o can_v sit_v here_o and_o feast_v my_o heart_n and_o eye_n for_o ever_o what_o running-banquet_n do_v my_o lord_n afford_v i_o here_o sure_o he_o shall_v not_o need_v to_o fear_v that_o i_o shall_v surfeit_v on_o himself_o but_o alas_o i_o must_v be_v go_v what_o shall_v i_o do_v in_o yonder_o hungry_a soul-starving_a world_n again_o i_o have_v be_v feed_v on_o my_o paschal_n lamb_n and_o now_o i_o must_v go_v and_o eat_v my_o sour_a herb_n but_o if_o it_o be_v his_o will_n i_o must_v obey_v if_o it_o be_v so_o i_o must_v arise_v i_o know_v thou_o have_v prepare_v the_o endless_a feast_n above_o where_o i_o shall_v ever_o sit_v and_o enjoy_v thy_o love_n and_o glut_v my_o hungry_a eye_n and_o heart_n on_o the_o banquet_n of_o thy_o everlasting_a self_n as_o yet_o i_o be_o now_o on_o earth_n my_o toil_n and_o work_n lie_v heavy_a on_o my_o hand_n i_o have_v yet_o a_o afternoon_n to_o labour_v out_o god_n know_v my_o work_n be_v hard_a too_o hard_o for_o i_o myself_o to_o perform_v i_o scarce_o shall_v have_v last_v out_o so_o long_o but_o that_o sometime_o at_o such_o season_n as_o this_o be_v he_o repair_v my_o sink_a spirit_n by_o pour_v in_o the_o cordial_n of_o his_o blood_n now_o i_o must_v go_v and_o perhaps_o find_v as_o sharp_a conflict_n with_o myself_o as_o ever_o i_o know_v the_o world_n and_o hell_n have_v be_v lay_v their_o snare_n and_o begin_v to_o catch_v my_o new-fledged_a soul_n and_o all_o conspire_v against_o my_o welfare_n now_o it_o be_v well_o if_o i_o escape_v a_o fall_n a_o bruise_n a_o break_n of_o my_o bone_n in_o which_o sad_a plight_n i_o have_v so_o often_o lie_v that_o my_o lord_n may_v have_v take_v i_o for_o dead_a but_o that_o my_o groan_n tell_v he_o loud_o i_o live_v lord_n must_v i_o leave_v this_o feast_n must_v i_o go_v take_v i_o then_o by_o the_o hand_n and_o lead_v i_o if_o i_o must_v walk_v let_v i_o see_v thou_o by_o i_o that_o i_o may_v know_v i_o walk_v with_o my_o god_n lead_v i_o away_o and_o i_o will_v go_v with_o thou_o and_o let_v i_o not_o go_v till_o thou_o bring_v i_o hither_o again_o i_o can_v will_v not_o live_v without_o thou_o and_o do_v thou_o lord_n say_v i_o must_v not_o shall_v not_o if_o both_o our_o heart_n in_o love_n so_o well_o agree_v what_o then_o shall_v separate_v my_o christ_n from_o i_o a_o meditation_n on_o the_o death_n of_o christ_n preparative_a to_o the_o sacrament_n pen_v for_o his_o private_a use_n but_o be_v he_o dead_a oh_o sad_a yet_o joyful_a news_n how_o strange_o be_v my_o soul_n amaze_v and_o diverse_o move_v and_o trouble_v by_o these_o contrary_a passion_n methinks_v i_o can_v pull_v up_o the_o floodgate_n of_o my_o sorrow_n and_o vent_v it_o out_o in_o tear_n but_o something_o bid_v i_o hold_v shall_v i_o mourn_v for_o he_o that_o be_v just_a now_o past_o his_o state_n of_o mourning_n he_o be_v dead_a and_o what_o of_o that_o and_o so_o be_v all_o his_o grief_n his_o bloody_a sweat_n his_o sigh_n and_o groan_v conclude_v he_o have_v drink_v on_o the_o brook_n in_o the_o way_n bitter_a while_o they_o be_v in_o his_o mouth_n and_o he_o be_v live_v but_o sweet_a now_o they_o have_v sink_v into_o his_o belly_n and_o and_o he_o in_o heaven_n sweet_a to_o he_o because_o it_o be_v his_o work_n and_o he_o have_v finish_v it_o and_o sweet_a to_o i_o because_o it_o be_v the_o potion_n of_o sorrow_n death_n hell_n that_o i_o must_v have_v take_v and_o can_v thou_o mourn_v methinks_v if_o thou_o do_v love_v thy_o heart_n shall_v rather_o sympathize_v with_o his_o he_o be_v sing_v and_o shall_v thou_o be_v sigh_v he_o be_v joy_v that_o his_o work_n be_v do_v and_o now_o be_v welcome_v into_o heaven_n by_o god_n his_o father_n and_o shout_v up_o by_o angel_n voice_n as_o the_o great_a conqueror_n of_o the_o heart_n of_o man_n on_o earth_n and_o that_o now_o in_o triumph_n he_o be_v return_v and_o will_v a_o mournful_a weed_n a_o wet_a eye_n and_o a_o cloudy_a brow_n become_v thou_o at_o these_o time_n of_o festival_n shall_v the_o heavenly_a angel_n be_v joyful_a and_o thou_o sad_a how_o strange_o will_v this_o be_v construe_v will_v it_o not_o be_v say_v thou_o do_v not_o love_v he_o or_o thou_o do_v envy_v his_o recover_a glory_n that_o he_o have_v leave_v and_o now_o again_o have_v take_v or_o that_o thou_o can_v not_o endure_v to_o see_v he_o wear_v his_o prince_n crown_n in_o heaven_n that_o for_o a_o time_n he_o have_v lay_v aside_o to_o come_v down_o to_o the_o earth_n to_o fetch_v thou_o thence_o to_o heaven_n but_o ah_o my_o lord_n thou_o will_v not_o sure_o interpret_v sorrow_n thus_o thou_o have_v not_o sure_o forget_v to_o give_v a_o meaning_n unto_o tear_n to_o teach_v a_o sigh_n to_o speak_v and_o then_o to_o know_v its_o language_n have_v my_o lord_n forget_v so_o sudden_o that_o he_o be_v on_o earth_n and_o that_o he_o sweat_v and_o groan_v and_o weep_v and_o bleed_v as_o well_o as_o i_o do_v now_o what_o though_o now_o all_o tear_n and_o sorrow_n and_o sigh_v be_v do_v away_o and_o he_o cease_v to_o be_v any_o long_a subject_n to_o our_o infirmity_n yet_o sure_o he_o know_v it_o be_v not_o thus_o with_o we_o i_o be_o not_o yet_o in_o heaven_n nor_o be_o i_o yet_o quite_o past_o the_o vale_n of_o sorrow_n and_o it_o can_v then_o be_v strange_a to_o he_o if_o he_o see_v sometime_o our_o face_n look_v of_o a_o sad_a hue_n than_o those_o that_o be_v in_o heaven_n but_o why_o shall_v thus_o my_o tear_n be_v check_v and_o my_o throb_a heart_n be_v chide_v be_v it_o for_o a_o thing_n of_o nought_o i_o may_v be_v count_v fool_n or_o child_n but_o shall_v my_o saviour_n die_v and_o vent_v his_o soul_n in_o a_o stream_n of_o blood_n and_o all_o in_o love_n to_o i_o and_o shall_v he_o thus_o forsake_v the_o world_n and_o die_v and_o then_o be_v lay_v in_o the_o grave_n and_o i_o be_v deny_v the_o liberty_n of_o follow_v
thou_o friend_n how_o come_v thou_o hither_o not_o have_v on_o thy_o wedding-garment_n he_o see_v thy_o heart_n and_o see_v thou_o have_v it_o on_o oh_o he_o come_v and_o it_o be_v but_o to_o whisper_v thou_o a_o welcome_n in_o thy_o ear_n it_o be_v but_o to_o fall_v about_o thy_o neck_n and_o kiss_v thy_o beteared_a cheek_n and_o bid_v thou_o a_o kind_a welcome_n to_o thy_o bleed_a lord_n soul_n oh_o do_v i_o think_v to_o be_v thus_o much_o make_v of_o i_o think_v he_o will_v not_o have_v mind_v i_o but_o i_o do_v no_o soon_o appear_v and_o set_v my_o foot_n within_o the_o door_n but_o he_o run_v to_o meet_v i_o he_o take_v i_o in_o his_o arm_n he_o bring_v i_o hither_o and_o set_v i_o here_o be_v this_o a_o house_n or_o be_v it_o a_o palace_n be_v this_o a_o court_n for_o prince_n or_o for_o angel_n never_o do_v place_n more_o ravish_v i_o into_o amazement_n than_o this_o place_n beautiful_a be_v thy_o gate_n o_o zion_n o_o how_o pleasant_a be_v the_o habitation_n of_o the_o most_o high_a be_v it_o the_o place_n or_o the_o company_n that_o strike_v i_o into_o astonishment_n now_o i_o can_v say_v most_o feel_o say_v with_o david_n my_o delight_n be_v with_o the_o saint_n of_o the_o most_o high_a and_o the_o most_o excellent_a of_o the_o earth_n their_o poverty_n their_o disgrace_n their_o contempt_n among_o who_o they_o live_v do_v not_o puzzle_v my_o quick-eyed_a faith_n these_o be_v the_o king_n daughter_n that_o be_v all_o glorious_a within_o their_o garment_n be_v of_o needlework_n embroider_v over_o with_o pure_a gold_n finespun_a gold_n these_o o_o these_o how_o poor_a and_o mean_a soever_o they_o be_v or_o may_v seem_v to_o be_v these_o shall_v sit_v with_o christ_n to_o judge_n the_o world_n oh_o how_o my_o foul_a be_v ravish_v with_o delight_n to_o see_v and_o look_v on_o those_o with_o who_o i_o shall_v live_v for_o ever_o if_o they_o be_v so_o lovely_a now_o what_o will_v they_o be_v hereafter_o when_o our_o god_n shall_v take_v they_o and_o scour_v off_o their_o rust_n and_o wash_v their_o garment_n bright_a in_o the_o sunshine_n of_o his_o countenance_n and_o change_v those_o mortal_a and_o corruptible_a body_n into_o immortal_a and_o glorious_a one_o and_o set_v they_o upon_o throne_n about_o himself_o and_o lade_v their_o head_n with_o crown_n of_o massy_a gold_n and_o when_o i_o shall_v hear_v they_o warble_v out_o the_o everlasting_a praise_n of_o the_o lamb_n who_o body_n and_o blood_n we_o all_o sit_v down_o to_o feed_v on_o communion-plate_n never_o be_v gold_n or_o silver_n grace_v thus_o before_o to_o bring_v this_o body_n and_o this_o blood_n to_o we_o be_v more_o than_o to_o crown_n king_n or_o be_v make_v ring_n for_o star-like_a diamond_n to_o glitter_v in_o the_o bread_n welcome_o fair_a take_v and_o eat_v it_o be_v the_o sweet_a dainty_n dear_v morsel_n heaven_n can_v afford_v thou_o welcome_o my_o dear_a to_o the_o table_n of_o thy_o lord_n welcome_o a_o thousand_o time_n i_o bid_v thou_o yea_o welcome_a than_o thou_o own_o heart_n can_v wish_v take_v eat_v this_o morsel_n it_o cost_v my_o life_n it_o be_v a_o portion_n thy_o father_n send_v unto_o thou_o by_o i_o and_o bid_v i_o remember_v thou_o of_o his_o love_n to_o thou_o he_o bid_v thou_o remember_v a_o father_n love_n i_o a_o saviour_n he_o have_v a_o heart_n to_o give_v thou_o and_o so_o have_v i._o take_v this_o in_o earnest_n of_o they_o both_o in_o one_o take_v free_o if_o thou_o be_v not_o welcome_a i_o will_v have_v tell_v thou_o i_o will_v have_v ask_v thou_o for_o thy_o wedding-garment_n know_v i_o not_o thy_o heart_n or_o if_o i_o be_v uncertain_a of_o thy_o love_n i_o will_v have_v scorn_v thou_o as_o unworthy_a of_o my_o presence_n do_v i_o know_v thou_o love_v any_o thing_n above_o i_o i_o will_v have_v hide_v my_o face_n and_o never_o have_v speak_v thou_o a_o welcome_a so_o feel_o and_o kind_o to_o thy_o soul_n tell_v i_o o_o tell_v i_o do_v thou_o not_o love_v i_o i_o know_v thou_o do_v and_o above_o father_n or_o mother_n wife_n or_o child_n land_n or_o live_v or_o credit_n i_o know_v thou_o do_v and_o will_v thou_o not_o take_v the_o cross_n and_o follow_v i_o i_o know_v thou_o will_v i_o see_v and_o know_v the_o labour_n of_o thy_o love_n i_o remember_v the_o pain_n and_o travel_n of_o thy_o soul_n i_o see_v thou_o follow_v i_o on_o thy_o knee_n in_o tear_n and_o beg_v my_o life_n rather_o than_o thy_o life_n i_o know_v thy_o heart_n i_o see_v it_o bleed_v before_o my_o throne_n i_o take_v it_o in_o my_o arm_n and_o bind_v it_o up_o and_o in_o that_o breast_n i_o remember_v i_o put_v it_o up_o again_o i_o see_v thou_o when_o no_o eye_n see_v thou_o i_o hear_v thou_o and_o have_v compassion_n on_o thy_o groan_n whilst_o thou_o be_v complain_v that_o i_o have_v shut_v out_o thy_o prayer_n i_o well_o remember_v since_o thy_o heart_n do_v first_o fall_v sick_a with_o love_n since_o the_o time_n thy_o flesh_n begin_v to_o die_v and_o since_o thou_o lay_v thyself_o in_o the_o grave_n down_o by_o i_o and_o be_v willing_a to_o die_v to_o all_o this_o vain_a empty_a glory_n of_o the_o world_n because_o i_o die_v and_o leave_v it_o i_o know_v thou_o well_o enough_o thou_o be_v i_o and_o i_o be_o thou_o take_v it_o i_o charge_v thou_o eat_v it_o as_o thou_o love_v i_o and_o whilst_o thou_o feed_v remember_v the_o love_n of_o thy_o dear_a redeemer_n soul_n oh_o it_o be_v the_o sweet_a meat_n that_o ever_o tongue_n do_v taste_v it_o send_v a_o relish_n to_o my_o very_a heart_n i_o find_v it_o digest_v as_o it_o deseend_n i_o feel_v my_o nerve_n and_o sinew_n strengthen_v i_o never_o know_v that_o bread_n be_v the_o staff_n of_o life_n till_o now_o oh_o how_o fit_a be_v my_o soul_n now_o for_o christ_n how_o easy_a do_v i_o now_o find_v his_o yoke_n how_o light_a his_o burden_n methinks_v i_o can_v watch_v or_o pray_v or_o read_v more_o earnest_o resolve_o believe_o than_o ever_o oh_o methinks_v i_o can_v take_v his_o cross_n and_o bear_v it_o strong_o and_o take_v the_o shame_n and_o despise_v it_o full_o oh_o it_o be_v a_o feast_n of_o fat_a thing_n the_o rich_a banquet_n of_o love_n that_o ever_o i_o be_v at_o it_o be_v but_o a_o little_a that_o i_o take_v and_o it_o fill_v i_o full_a my_o hungry_a stomach_n now_o cry_v it_o be_v enough_o i_o find_v it_o now_o verify_v to_o my_o soul_n and_o spirit_n that_o he_o that_o eat_v of_o this_o bread_n shall_v never_o hunger_n more_o well_o i_o need_v not_o starve_v when_o there_o be_v such_o bread_n in_o my_o father_n house_n i_o need_v not_o i_o will_v not_o i_o can_v feed_v any_o long_o on_o husk_n with_o the_o swine_n of_o the_o world_n i_o feed_v on_o air_n and_o smoke_n before_o i_o never_o taste_v substantial_a bread_n till_o i_o taste_v of_o this_o this_o be_v the_o staff_n of_o my_o life_n and_o upon_o this_o will_v i_o support_v myself_o to_o my_o very_a grave_n the_o wine_n christ_n come_v my_o dear_a i_o have_v drink_v and_o thou_o shall_v pledge_v i_o i_o have_v broach_v my_o side_n and_o draw_v it_o on_o purpose_n for_o thou_o this_o be_v a_o wine_n of_o my_o own_o make_n when_o i_o tread_v the_o winepress_n of_o my_o father_n wrath_n it_o be_v my_o blood_n but_o take_v and_o drink_v it_o it_o be_v the_o cause_n of_o my_o wound_n but_o to_o thy_o soul_n it_o shall_v prove_v heal_v i_o die_v and_o bleed_v it_o be_v but_o to_o make_v this_o banquet_n for_o thou_o i_o have_v bring_v thou_o into_o my_o wine-cellar_n and_o my_o banner_n over_o thou_o shall_v be_v love_n fear_v not_o take_v and_o drink_v thou_o have_v a_o ulcer_n in_o thy_o heart_n and_o this_o shall_v cure_v it_o spot_n and_o stain_n of_o guilt_n on_o thy_o soul_n and_o this_o shall_v purge_v they_o away_o thy_o spirit_n be_v faint_a this_o shall_v revive_v thou_o thou_o be_v afraid_a to_o see_v thy_o father_n face_n this_o shall_v make_v thou_o to_o draw_v near_o the_o throne_n of_o grace_n with_o boldness_n drink_v i_o charge_v thou_o drink_v on_o thy_o love_n and_o loyalty_n to_o i_o i_o command_v thou_o as_o thou_o will_v have_v thy_o heart_n to_o mend_v thy_o wound_n to_o cure_v thy_o spirit_n to_o revive_v thy_o fear_n to_o scatter_v thy_o soul_n to_o love_n and_o obey_v i_o take_v o_o take_v this_o cup_n into_o thy_o hand_n taste_v it_o and_o praise_v my_o love_n soul_n lord_n i_o have_v take_v i_o have_v drink_v as_o thou_o have_v bid_v i_o i_o neither_o can_v or_o dare_v deny_v thou_o can_v i_o refuse_v thy_o blood_n when_o i_o have_v accept_v thyself_o or_o can_v i_o accept_v my_o pardon_n at_o thy_o hand_n and_o
god_n have_v not_o mix_v a_o discovery_n of_o love_n with_o majesty_n i_o can_v not_o have_v be_v able_a to_o endure_v the_o sight_n of_o his_o glory_n therefore_o it_o be_v the_o best_a way_n for_o a_o soul_n in_o this_o case_n to_o beg_v earnest_o for_o a_o discovery_n of_o love_n and_o majesty_n leave_v it_o to_o the_o wise_a god_n who_o know_v how_o to_o compound_v these_o together_o for_o the_o comfort_n and_o establishment_n of_o his_o saint_n to_o measure_v out_o the_o degree_n of_o they_o oh_o i_o can_v i_o can_v but_o admire_v the_o greatness_n and_o goodness_n of_o god_n and_o the_o poorness_n and_o meanness_n of_o the_o creature_n and_o i_o can_v set_v my_o seal_n to_o that_o truth_n that_o they_o know_v not_o what_o to_o ask_v aright_o xi_o that_o afternoon_n go_v to_o a_o friend_n with_o who_o we_o meet_v some_o other_o who_o discourse_v of_o the_o aspersion_n which_o carnal_a man_n cast_v upon_o our_o meeting_n call_v we_o blockhead_n sot_n despiser_n of_o learning_n my_o heart_n do_v fly_v out_o into_o vanity_n in_o laugh_v at_o such_o thing_n which_o shall_v rather_o have_v draw_v out_o my_o soul_n to_o mourning_n and_o sigh_v to_o consider_v how_o my_o god_n who_o i_o profess_v so_o much_o love_n to_o shall_v be_v dishonour_v by_o wicked_a man_n after_o which_o be_v come_v home_o i_o be_v dead_a in_o prayer_n which_o i_o look_v upon_o as_o a_o check_n to_o the_o lightness_n of_o my_o spirit_n yet_o before_o i_o go_v to_o bed_n god_n do_v as_o eminent_o raise_v i_o and_o draw_v i_o out_o in_o melt_n for_o that_o forementioned_a vanity_n that_o i_o can_v not_o but_o say_v the_o spirit_n of_o god_n help_v i_o with_o sigh_n and_o groan_v unutterable_a for_o my_o heart_n be_v so_o full_a that_o i_o can_v not_o utter_v it_o in_o word_n i_o be_v very_o much_o humble_v and_o true_o i_o may_v say_v to_o his_o honour_n god_n do_v lift_v up_o my_o soul_n in_o a_o great_a measure_n above_o my_o humiliation_n so_o that_o i_o look_v upon_o it_o as_o nothing_o but_o as_o give_v in_o upon_o the_o account_n of_o christ_n oh_o my_o soul_n praise_v the_o lord_n xii_o it_o be_v very_o natural_a for_o young_a convert_v to_o think_v they_o be_v never_o better_o than_o when_o doubt_v and_o call_v their_o state_n in_o question_n ah_o poor_a soul_n let_v i_o ask_v you_o what_o do_v you_o get_v by_o these_o vexatious_a question_n if_o they_o come_v with_o power_n they_o terrify_v and_o then_o those_o that_o have_v they_o desire_v hearty_o they_o may_v be_v off_o again_o instance_n o._n again_o what_o assurance_n of_o god_n love_n and_o comfort_n to_o your_o soul_n do_v you_o get_v by_o they_o if_o thou_o say_v thereby_o thou_o shake_v off_o security_n let_v i_o tell_v thou_o that_o in_o shun_v that_o rock_n thou_o fall_v upon_o one_o as_o bad_a for_o in_o cherish_v of_o such_o doubt_n thou_o cherish_v unbelief_n and_o i_o dare_v say_v there_o be_v no_o sin_n do_v more_o vail_n that_o mystery_n of_o justification_n of_o god_n in_o christ_n reconcile_n the_o world_n unto_o himself_o than_o unbelief_n we_o be_v to_o live_v upon_o christ_n above_o all_o fear_n and_o be_v not_o to_o cherish_v a_o doubt_n any_o more_o than_o a_o temptation_n xiii_o object_n but_o you_o will_v say_v what_o use_n shall_v we_o then_o make_v of_o the_o examination_n of_o our_o heart_n answ_n this_o shall_v be_v the_o use_n by_o it_o learn_v thy_o own_o misery_n that_o by_o the_o sight_n of_o it_o thou_o may_v the_o more_o exalt_v freegrace_n for_o this_o be_v the_o great_a mystery_n of_o the_o gospel_n to_o exalt_v the_o love_n and_o free_a grace_n of_o god_n in_o order_n to_o which_o man_n self_n must_v be_v abase_v now_o by_o this_o abasement_n be_v not_o mean_v a_o sorrowful_a trouble_a and_o vexatious_a temper_n but_o such_o a_o one_o as_o be_v join_v with_o humility_n and_o for_o tear_n sob_n and_o sigh_n they_o be_v but_o accidental_a or_o rather_o a_o consequent_a of_o this_o humiliation_n and_o self-abasement_n and_o not_o essential_a wherefore_o you_o shall_v observe_v that_o your_o high_a christian_n they_o can_v live_v cheery_o and_o yet_o enjoy_v abundant_o more_o of_o god_n than_o a_o doubt_a christian_n be_v careful_a therefore_o of_o be_v too_o solicitous_a for_o trouble_n of_o spirit_n fourteen_o there_o be_v another_o miscarriage_n in_o saint_n which_o keep_v they_o from_o a_o full_a close_n with_o christ_n and_o that_o be_v the_o multitude_n of_o their_o sin_n if_o think_v they_o my_o sin_n bid_v be_v but_o petty_a sin_n i_o can_v have_v go_v to_o christ_n but_o they_o be_v aggravate_v sin_n against_o love_n i_o have_v have_v hard_a thought_n of_o god_n blasphemous_a rise_n of_o heart_n against_o god_n such_o have_v o._n who_o after_o this_o manner_n reason_v i_o answer_v that_o thou_o look_v upon_o god_n pardon_v of_o sin_n with_o too_o carnal_a a_o eye_n and_o think_v that_o in_o this_o he_o be_v like_a to_o man_n that_o because_o it_o be_v hard_o to_o man_n who_o be_v unwilling_a to_o put_v up_o the_o three_o offence_n as_o he_o have_v do_v the_o first_o and_o second_o therefore_o it_o be_v so_o to_o god_n alas_o this_o be_v a_o most_o gross_a mistake_n wherefore_o know_v as_o there_o be_v no_o degree_n of_o hatred_n in_o god_n who_o be_v infinite_a so_o god_n be_v as_o full_o angry_a at_o one_o sin_n as_o at_o ten_o thousand_o and_o may_v as_o soon_o punish_v a_o man_n for_o one_o as_o for_o a_o million_o because_o he_o who_o be_v absolute_o perfect_a admit_v no_o degree_n of_o love_n or_o hatred_n therefore_o when_o thou_o look_v upon_o thyself_o as_o offend_v love_n as_o sin_v against_o mercy_n eye_n god_n as_o make_v the_o covenant_n of_o grace_n in_o christ_n immediate_o and_o to_o thou_o in_o christ_n and_o from_o that_o aspect_n thou_o may_v draw_v this_o inference_n that_o though_o i_o change_v yet_o god_n can_v change_v for_o the_o covenant_n of_o grace_n stand_v firm_a still_o for_o he_o with_o who_o god_n make_v it_o take_v in_o that_o which_o some_o call_v the_o covenant_n of_o redemption_n stand_v as_o firm_o as_o himself_o and_o so_o unmovable_a whereupon_o my_o state_n be_v firm_a by_o virtue_n of_o that_o covenant_n now_o this_o consideration_n be_v very_o rational_a for_o if_o god_n make_v his_o covenant_n immediate_o with_o we_o every_o time_n we_o shall_v sin_v god_n must_v renew_v his_o covenant_n for_o we_o shall_v lack_v still_o a_o new_a mediator_n but_o say_v god_n i_o have_v make_v a_o everlasting_a covenant_n with_o you_o which_o be_v upon_o the_o consideration_n of_o a_o ever-standing_a christ_n xv._o if_o you_o will_v know_v whether_o there_o be_v security_n mix_v with_o your_o faith_n and_o your_o dependence_n upon_o god_n as_o for_o the_o welfare_n of_o your_o soul_n it_o will_v be_v a_o good_a way_n to_o put_v this_o question_n to_o the_o soul_n whether_o it_o can_v trust_v god_n with_o its_o body_n in_o case_n of_o exigency_n suppose_v thou_o do_v want_v outward_a sustinence_n suppose_v god_n shall_v call_v thou_o out_o to_o lay_v thy_o body_n at_o the_o stake_n for_o he_o for_o this_o be_v very_o common_a to_o saint_n they_o can_v find_v in_o themselves_o that_o they_o do_v full_o resign_v up_o their_o soul_n to_o god_n yet_o in_o the_o proposal_n of_o such_o case_n they_o will_v find_v their_o faith_n begin_v to_o stagger_v wherefore_o if_o thou_o find_v thyself_o in_o this_o case_n to_o doubt_v trust_v god_n and_o assure_v thyself_o that_o he_o who_o have_v draw_v out_o thy_o soul_n in_o dependence_n as_o for_o the_o one_o will_v also_o do_v it_o for_o the_o other_o see_v as_o to_o this_o case_n psal_n 78._o and_o compare_v the_o condition_n of_o the_o israelite_n to_o thou_o and_o see_v whether_o thou_o can_v have_v believe_v god_n in_o those_o thing_n which_o they_o do_v not_o xvi_o sometime_o saint_n be_v still_o and_o quiet_a as_o to_o the_o rise_n of_o corruption_n as_o passion_n viz._n anger_n etc._n etc._n and_o think_v it_o be_v mortify_v because_o it_o be_v still_o upon_o apply_v of_o the_o soul_n to_o the_o blood_n of_o christ_n yet_o if_o so_o be_v that_o particular_a corruption_n do_v afterward_o rise_v again_o they_o be_v apt_a to_o conclude_v that_o sin_n be_v not_o mortify_v answ_n yet_o first_o we_o may_v conclude_v that_o mortification_n and_o the_o rise_n of_o corruption_n be_v not_o whole_o inconsistent_a but_o may_v be_v in_o the_o same_o subject_n in_o different_a degree_n for_o this_o be_v certain_a that_o corruption_n can_v be_v total_o subdue_v in_o this_o life_n if_o thou_o say_v why_o may_v they_o not_o be_v total_o mortify_v as_o to_o the_o rise_n of_o they_o as_o well_o as_o for_o a_o time_n for_o i_o remember_v they_o be_v still_o as_o to_o the_o rise_n of_o they_o
for_o a_o time_n answ_n thou_o have_v better_o conclude_v that_o thou_o be_v blind_a rather_o as_o to_o the_o discovery_n of_o they_o than_o that_o they_o do_v not_o at_o all_o rise_n at_o that_o time_n but_o for_o more_o narrow_a search_n into_o this_o case_n consider_v whether_o thy_o corruption_n now_o rise_v be_v resist_v by_o thou_o more_o than_o they_o be_v before_o if_o so_o conclude_v then_o the_o mortification_n of_o they_o second_o it_o be_v not_o best_o in_o this_o case_n to_o ask_v the_o question_n too_o deep_o whether_o they_o be_v mortify_v before_o because_o the_o devil_n hereby_o will_v take_v advantage_n of_o the_o soul_n to_o vex_v it_o but_o rather_o apply_v thyself_o to_o christ_n by_o new_a act_n of_o faith_n as_o to_o the_o mortificationof_n they_o xvii_o often_o time_n soul_n be_v puzzle_v in_o their_o inquiry_n into_o the_o mortification_n of_o corruption_n and_o know_v not_o what_o to_o conclude_v of_o they_o for_o if_o they_o look_v upon_o their_o heart_n they_o find_v corruption_n either_o bubble_a and_o rise_v up_o and_o impetuous_a or_o else_o they_o be_v still_o if_o rise_v that_o make_v against_o the_o mortification_n of_o they_o if_o they_o rise_v not_o they_o be_v apt_a to_o conclude_v they_o be_v rather_o still_o than_o mortify_v to_o resolve_v such_o a_o soul_n i_o think_v it_o be_v best_o for_o it_o to_o look_v upon_o that_o in_o the_o soul_n which_o be_v opposite_a to_o sin_n and_o to_o examine_v whether_o there_o be_v great_a love_n to_o god_n in_o he_o whether_o he_o love_v saint_n more_o and_o be_v more_o desirous_a that_o his_o sin_n shall_v be_v mortify_v than_o former_o if_o he_o find_v these_o thing_n in_o he_o he_o may_v conclude_v that_o his_o sin_n be_v in_o a_o great_a measure_n mortify_v for_o sin_n and_o grace_n or_o love_n to_o god_n be_v like_o two_o scale_n and_o if_o you_o can_v but_o discover_v that_o grace_n be_v high_a or_o your_o love_n and_o breathe_n be_v great_a you_o may_v conclude_v that_o sin_n be_v low_a and_o mortify_v xviii_o on_o saturday_n august_n 17_o 1650._o he_o record_v i_o be_v exceed_o trouble_v with_o rise_n of_o a_o proud_a heart_n and_o on_o sabath-day_n in_o the_o morning_n i_o find_v the_o like_a accompany_v with_o envy_v against_o the_o raisement_n of_o other_o saint_n as_o if_o i_o will_v have_v none_o high_o than_o myself_o yea_o and_o in_o the_o afternoon_n be_v exceed_v trouble_v with_o lightness_n of_o spirit_n so_o that_o i_o can_v scarce_o forbear_v laugh_v at_o church_n and_o after_o when_o i_o come_v home_o for_o one_o of_o trinity_n be_v with_o i_o i_o be_v fain_o to_o leave_v he_o in_o the_o chamber_n and_o enter_v my_o study_n lest_o i_o shall_v betray_v the_o nakedness_n of_o my_o heart_n oh_o curse_a heart_n but_o for_o this_o spiritual_a distemper_n my_o heart_n be_v sudden_o trouble_v and_o i_o have_v just_a such_o a_o sorrow_n as_o if_o i_o have_v lose_v some_o outward_a friend_n and_o i_o do_v exceed_o take_v on_o in_o mourning_n for_o my_o folly_n xix_o on_o the_o 22d_o follow_v i_o have_v a_o ingenuous_a melt_a possess_v my_o soul_n on_o a_o sudden_a reflect_v upon_o my_o want_n of_o discovery_n of_o the_o love_n of_o god_n these_o three_o or_o four_o day_n and_o the_o day_n follow_v i_o be_v in_o a_o pretty_a good_a frame_n of_o spirit_n whereupon_o i_o come_v to_o consider_v if_o a_o man_n will_v know_v whether_o he_o live_v above_o all_o his_o duty_n let_v he_o see_v whether_o or_o no_o in_o a_o search_n after_o sanctification_n he_o do_v not_o lay_v more_o stress_n upon_o one_o duty_n than_o another_o for_o this_o soul_n be_v very_o apt_a to_o do_v especial_o on_o those_o duty_n which_o be_v extraordinary_a as_o for_o instance_n if_o thou_o keep_v a_o private_a fast_o with_o some_o other_o christian_n or_o else_o pray_v at_o some_o part_n in_o the_o day_n different_a from_o the_o seâ—-times_n or_o pray_v more_o time_n a_o day_n than_o ordinary_a either_o by_o thyself_o or_o with_o other_o christian_n or_o such_o time_n as_o those_o above_o pray_v at_o the_o chapel_n if_o thou_o do_v it_o be_v a_o sign_n that_o there_o be_v a_o tincture_n of_o self-dependence_n therefore_o it_o be_v the_o best_a way_n to_o make_v a_o equal_a conscience_n of_o they_o all_o as_o for_o performance_n of_o they_o and_o look_v on_o they_o all_o with_o the_o same_o eye_n and_o say_v that_o thou_o be_v unprofitable_a in_o they_o all_o and_o that_o thou_o may_v attain_v to_o this_o temper_n after_o every_o duty_n examine_v what_o vanity_n of_o thought_n what_o formality_n in_o spirit_n thou_o have_v in_o the_o do_n of_o they_o that_o thou_o may_v see_v they_o be_v all_o nothing_o without_o christ_n xx._n what_o shall_v i_o do_v in_o a_o dull_a and_o dead_a state_n answ_n 1_o double_o the_o watch_n over_o thy_o own_o heart_n aâ—d_a affection_n it_o be_v common_a to_o see_v a_o soul_n dead_a and_o careless_a 2_o labour_v to_o strengthen_v faith_n in_o the_o promise_v of_o god_n love_n and_o willingness_n to_o receive_v soul_n the_o parable_n of_o the_o prodigal_n and_o that_o if_o a_o child_n aâ—k_v his_o father_n bread_n will_v he_o give_v he_o a_o stone_n etc._n etc._n shall_v be_v consider_v 3_o make_v this_o improvement_n of_o thy_o present_a deadness_n to_o humble_v thy_o soul_n and_o see_v thy_o own_o vileness_n that_o thou_o shall_v abuse_v such_o riches_n of_o grace_n as_o it_o may_v be_v thou_o have_v do_v and_o by_o that_o sin_n shall_v cause_v that_o deadness_n take_v heed_n of_o slight_v the_o deadness_n of_o your_o heart_n if_o you_o do_v you_o grow_v careless_a of_o god_n anger_n for_o deadness_n be_v a_o sign_n that_o god_n be_v angry_a xxi_o what_o shall_v a_o man_n do_v in_o enjoyment_n answ_n it_o be_v common_a for_o such_o soul_n present_o to_o grow_v so_o confident_a of_o themselves_o as_o to_o let_v go_v their_o watch_n and_o so_o oftentimes_o be_v betray_v by_o their_o enemy_n 1_o be_v then_o as_o earnest_n for_o the_o enjoy_n of_o more_o of_o god_n when_o thou_o be_v raise_v as_o thou_o be_v to_o enjoy_v any_o thing_n of_o god_n when_o thou_o be_v not_o let_v not_o a_o discovery_n of_o love_n stop_v thy_o breathe_n saint_n often_o sit_v down_o here_o and_o so_o fall_v back_o again_o 2_o seek_v to_o redouble_v thy_o faith_n to_o make_v it_o strong_a than_o ever_o for_o time_n will_v be_v that_o thou_o may_v have_v use_n of_o it_o 3_o labour_v to_o humble_v thyself_o under_o thy_o enjoyment_n let_v not_o the_o thought_n of_o sonship_n dry_v up_o thy_o eye_n but_o be_v sure_o the_o more_o of_o self-abhorrency_a the_o more_o evidence_n of_o thy_o sonship_n xxii_o on_o saturday_n the_o 5_o and_o sabbath-day_n the_o 6_o of_o octob._n 1650_o he_o record_v the_o lord_n humble_v i_o much_o in_o the_o sight_n of_o unworthy_a deal_n with_o god_n and_o i_o may_v say_v god_n be_v in_o i_o of_o a_o truth_n this_o grace_n be_v then_o so_o lively_a in_o i_o that_o i_o press_v it_o much_o to_o the_o company_n but_o yet_o oh_o wretched_a heart_n before_o i_o come_v out_o of_o the_o company_n that_o night_n i_o be_v take_v with_o a_o violent_a passion_n of_o pride_n and_o anger_n yet_o by_o this_o fall_n i_o may_v bless_v my_o god_n god_n humble_v i_o more_o than_o i_o be_v before_o yea_o and_o it_o cause_v i_o to_o have_v more_o contemptible_a thought_n of_o myself_o than_o ever_o whereupon_o we_o find_v this_o sell-abasing_a christian_a student_n to_o set_v down_o how_o he_o may_v get_v the_o victory_n over_o headstrong_a passion_n when_o he_o add_v humility_n of_o spirit_n be_v attainable_a by_o get_v quick_a and_o sprightful_a apprehension_n of_o self_n weakness_n to_o grace_n and_o discover_v the_o evil_a of_o a_o carnal_a heart_n which_o may_v be_v discern_v in_o spiritual_a duty_n by_o its_o sally_v often_o into_o the_o world_n and_o much_o suspect_v when_o it_o be_v ready_a to_o close_v with_o a_o promise_n of_o god_n that_o speak_v comfort_n than_o with_o a_o command_n of_o god_n which_o speak_v obedience_n oh_o pray_v against_o such_o a_o 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deal_n with_o i_o such_o a_o temper_n as_o this_o i_o have_v go_v to_o prayer_n and_o labour_v under_o such_o indisposition_n of_o soul_n and_o hardness_n of_o my_o heart_n that_o i_o can_v not_o tell_v how_o to_o speak_v to_o god_n all_o spark_n of_o faith_n as_o to_o the_o cast_n of_o my_o soul_n upon_o god_n seem_v to_o be_v extinct_a all_o breathe_n after_o god_n and_o christ_n seem_v to_o be_v dead_a sin_n seem_v as_o nothing_o i_o seek_v to_o lay_v they_o to_o my_o charge_n yea_o and_o according_a to_o their_o aggravation_n i_o labour_v to_o set_v hell_n as_o to_o its_o torment_n before_o i_o that_o by_o they_o i_o may_v be_v startle_v my_o heart_n be_v so_o hard_o sin_n and_o its_o aggravation_n do_v as_o it_o be_v rebound_v back_o and_o conviction_n will_v not_o stick_v methinks_v hell_n and_o its_o torment_n in_o this_o case_n no_o more_o fright_v i_o than_o a_o sword_n at_o a_o blind_a man_n throat_n will_v startle_v he_o i_o seek_v indeed_o that_o my_o heart_n may_v be_v soften_v yet_o then_o but_o in_o word_n desire_n come_v not_o kind_o from_o my_o heart_n and_o in_o such_o a_o case_n i_o leave_v pray_v this_o be_v night_n the_o next_o morning_n i_o go_v to_o duty_n again_o with_o a_o perhaps_o god_n will_v be_v gracious_a but_o find_v my_o soul_n hard_o as_o before_o and_o have_v pray_v a_o while_n and_o find_v no_o comfort_n in_o it_o i_o be_v think_v to_o break_v off_o and_o so_o i_o shall_v have_v not_o god_n prevent_v i_o by_o put_v such_o a_o argument_n into_o my_o mouth_n as_o this_o lord_n can_v thou_o that_o have_v say_v thou_o be_v a_o father_n of_o such_o tender_a bowel_n suffer_v thy_o poor_a child_n thy_o poor_a creature_n to_o plead_v thus_o with_o thou_o for_o a_o break_a heart_n and_o thou_o with_o hold_v it_o so_o stiff_o from_o he_o upon_o this_o my_o heart_n be_v exceed_o full_a and_o break_a dissolve_v even_o into_o tear_n oh_o you_o saint_n remember_v that_o god_n working_n be_v arbitrary_a xxv_o as_o he_o record_v the_o fail_n and_o comfort_n he_o have_v before_o in_o and_o after_o prayer_n so_o we_o have_v he_o note_v it_o be_v a_o good_a mean_n to_o keep_v a_o man_n soul_n up_o in_o a_o constant_a frame_n if_o he_o every_o day_n call_v his_o soul_n to_o a_o question_n how_o he_o have_v walk_v with_o god_n that_o whole_a day_n and_o those_o sin_n he_o find_v he_o have_v fall_v into_o that_o day_n let_v he_o resolve_v to_o watch_v against_o more_o strict_o the_o next_o day_n and_o beg_v strength_n against_o they_o and_o by_o do_v of_o this_o he_o shall_v quick_o find_v a_o growth_n in_o grace_n and_o victory_n over_o his_o corruption_n he_o add_v when_o thou_o be_v ever_o plead_v with_o god_n against_o sin_n remember_v that_o they_o be_v god_n enemy_n as_o well_o as_o thou_o tell_v god_n he_o hate_v sin_n and_o wickedness_n and_o these_o be_v the_o enemy_n that_o thou_o be_v conflict_v with_o and_o assure_v thyself_o god_n will_v not_o stand_v as_o a_o neuter_n but_o will_v take_v thy_o soul_n part_n as_o david_n in_o the_o five_o psalm_n and_o again_o consider_v that_o thy_o soul_n be_v as_o a_o commonwealth_n christ_n the_o king_n thy_o corruption_n the_o enemy_n now_o you_o know_v that_o the_o king_n be_v as_o much_o or_o rather_o shall_v be_v more_o engage_v against_o the_o enemy_n of_o his_o kingdom_n than_o the_o subject_n be_v because_o the_o destruction_n of_o they_o or_o their_o victory_n strike_v more_o upon_o his_o honour_n xxvi_o it_o be_v a_o hard_a thing_n to_o believe_v that_o a_o man_n prayer_n be_v hear_v except_o he_o find_v some_o warming_n in_o his_o spirit_n in_o prayer_n either_o in_o solid_a joy_n or_o a_o hearty_a mourning_n here_o these_o case_n come_v to_o be_v resolve_v viz._n see_v the_o child_n of_o god_n be_v often_o draw_v out_o in_o prayer_n at_o by_o time_n a_o poor_a soul_n begin_v to_o reflect_v upon_o his_o own_o experience_n and_o find_v no_o such_o matter_n perform_v by_o himself_o be_v apt_a to_o be_v discourage_v and_o to_o doubt_v whether_o god_n ever_o love_v he_o first_o thou_o must_v know_v though_o such_o dispensation_n be_v ordinary_a yet_o not_o necessary_a the_o spirit_n can_v work_v without_o they_o as_o doubtless_o he_o do_v in_o many_o second_o perhaps_o it_o have_v not_o be_v christ_n want_n of_o love_n to_o thou_o but_o thy_o negligence_n towards_o he_o he_o have_v knock_v and_o thou_o have_v not_o open_v oh_o this_o be_v a_o repulse_n to_o the_o king_n of_o glory_n a_o sad_a deal_n with_o thy_o jesus_n with_o a_o christ_n that_o be_v all_o a-sweat_n for_o thou_o and_o have_v his_o side_n run_v out_o water_n and_o blood_n for_o thou_o to_o let_v he_o stand_v and_o knock_v without_o and_o give_v he_o no_o lodging_n object_n yea_o but_o the_o soul_n may_v say_v i_o have_v often_o watch_v my_o heart_n and_o mark_v the_o breathe_n of_o my_o soul_n whither_o they_o tend_v godward_o or_o no_o but_o alas_o i_o be_v hard_a and_o blind_a a_o sottish_a creature_n ans_fw-fr first_o let_v such_o a_o consideration_n as_o this_o serve_v to_o humble_v thou_o but_o not_o to_o deject_v thou_o know_v that_o there_o be_v a_o time_n when_o god_n will_v not_o be_v find_v and_o that_o be_v upon_o thy_o slight_n of_o his_o former_a tender_n oh_o when_o ever_o thou_o find_v thyself_o in_o such_o a_o case_n foremention_v go_v and_o bewail_v before_o god_n thy_o hard_a and_o rough_a deal_n with_o he_o second_o consider_v that_o upon_o such_o a_o reflection_n on_o thyself_o and_o find_v thy_o heart_n dead_a and_o listless_a to_o prayer_n it_o be_v very_o probable_a that_o the_o spirit_n of_o god_n call_v thou_o out_o at_o that_o time_n to_o prayer_n against_o thy_o hardness_n thy_o listlesness_n and_o blindness_n as_o to_o the_o discovery_n of_o thyself_o and_o god_n love_v towards_o thou_o oh_o take_v heed_n of_o slight_v such_o a_o tender_a as_o this_o perhaps_o thou_o may_v never_o have_v more_o of_o such_o tender_n as_o these_o be_v and_o that_o thou_o may_v wrestle_v a_o blessing_n out_o of_o god_n hand_n urge_v god_n with_o his_o own_o promise_n in_o the_o 54th_o chapter_n of_o isaiah_n it_o be_v a_o most_o spiritual_a and_o raise_v chapter_n here_o it_o may_v be_v query_v how_o to_o know_v that_o god_n hide_v himself_o out_o of_o love_n to_o i_o this_o to_o i_o be_v a_o strong_a evidence_n that_o god_n hide_v himself_o out_o of_o love_n to_o i_o after_o some_o miscarriage_n of_o soul_n 1_o when_o god_n by_o my_o fall_n into_o a_o sin_n make_v i_o more_o cautious_a of_o that_o sin_n for_o the_o future_a 2_o god_n by_o that_o sin_n discover_v my_o base_a heart_n to_o i_o 3_o when_o god_n draw_v out_o my_o soul_n to_o beg_v earnest_o for_o strength_n of_o he_o against_o it_o but_o a_o man_n after_o he_o have_v fall_v into_o some_o sin_n may_v take_v up_o resolution_n against_o it_o and_o yet_o fall_v into_o it_o again_o it_o be_v true_a there_o be_v scarce_o a_o saint_n but_o have_v experience_v this_o very_a thing_n and_o the_o reason_n of_o it_o be_v not_o dark_a 1_n on_o god_n part_n he_o will_v 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you_o in_o this_o case_n and_o mark_v his_o deal_n with_o you_o herein_o that_o you_o may_v admire_v he_o when_o a_o man_n begin_v first_o to_o set_v his_o face_n zion-ward_n yea_o and_o afterward_o when_o he_o have_v make_v some_o progress_n in_o those_o way_n the_o devil_n do_v exceed_o labour_v with_o such_o a_o soul_n to_o afflight_v â—im_a from_o the_o way_n of_o holiness_n in_o suggest_v that_o his_o former_a company_n will_v despise_v he_o and_o in_o these_o new_a way_n there_o must_v be_v more_o strictness_n of_o life_n more_o tentation_n and_o trouble_n of_o spirit_n which_o kind_n of_o argument_n will_v be_v apt_a to_o stagger_v such_o a_o soul_n very_o much_o because_o as_o yet_o they_o be_v but_o weak_a and_o have_v not_o such_o powerful_a principle_n infuse_v into_o they_o as_o may_v make_v they_o strong_a enough_o to_o find_v the_o yoke_n of_o christ_n easy_a therefore_o it_o will_v be_v the_o best_a way_n for_o such_o a_o soul_n to_o resolve_v still_o to_o go_v on_o 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of_o conscience_n but_o that_o god_n will_v discover_v to_o you_o that_o your_o duty_n come_v from_o more_o filial_a principle_n of_o love_n bless_v then_o god_n for_o the_o quickness_n of_o conscience_n and_o press_v for_o strength_n to_o obey_v whatever_o conscience_n dictate_v to_o be_v according_a to_o right_a reason_n and_o the_o mind_n of_o god_n but_o on_o the_o other_o hand_n take_v heed_n of_o daub_v it_o with_o any_o light_a gloss_n from_o scripture_n as_o some_o species_n of_o good_a if_o thou_o do_v thou_o sin_v xxxiv_o see_v that_o all_o the_o mercy_n of_o saint_n have_v divine_a love_n mingle_v among_o they_o now_o i_o enjoy_v worldly_a blessing_n i_o know_v not_o whether_o they_o be_v give_v to_o i_o out_o of_o love_n to_o i_o say_v some_o poor_a saint_n i_o answer_v there_o be_v these_o three_o mark_n whereby_o a_o soul_n may_v see_v whether_o his_o earthly_a blessing_n be_v mingle_v with_o spiritual_a love_n first_o mark_v whether_o they_o be_v give_v to_o you_o upon_o the_o account_n of_o prayer_n do_v you_o beg_v they_o of_o the_o lord_n upon_o your_o knee_n so_o that_o you_o may_v say_v all_o your_o mercy_n be_v the_o child_n of_o your_o prayer_n the_o birth_n of_o your_o entreaty_n your_o health_n your_o meat_n and_o drink_n be_v wrestle_v for_o at_o a_o throne_n of_o grace_n after_o this_o manner_n do_v hannah_n procure_v her_o son_n samuel_n as_o we_o may_v read_v 1_n sam._n chap._n 1._o reflect_v now_o upon_o yourself_o and_o see_v whether_o your_o outward_a mercy_n come_v this_o way_n if_o they_o do_v o_o how_o sweet_a and_o comfortable_a will_v they_o be_v to_o you_o you_o shall_v never_o look_v considerate_o upon_o they_o but_o your_o heart_n shall_v be_v warm_v with_o the_o love_n of_o god_n here_o you_o may_v say_v be_v a_o mercy_n and_o there_o be_v a_o blessing_n which_o i_o pull_v out_o of_o the_o bosom_n of_o divine_a love_n as_o it_o be_v with_o my_o own_o hand_n this_o child_n and_o that_o child_n this_o crumb_n of_o bread_n and_o that_o drop_v of_o drink_n be_v all_o pledge_n of_o god_n love_n to_o i_o these_o be_v divine_a influence_n and_o spark_n of_o the_o flame_n of_o god_n lovingkindness_n what_o adamantine_a heart_n will_v not_o such_o discovery_n melt_v into_o love_n towards_o god_n what_o soul_n will_v not_o such_o chain_n of_o gold_n enravish_a which_o be_v both_o make_v and_o put_v about_o its_o neck_n with_o the_o lovely_a finger_n of_o christ_n hand_n what_o soul_n will_v not_o such_o a_o cordial_a comfort_n which_o be_v compound_v of_o love_n and_o goodness_n my_o heart_n be_v enravish_v within_o i_o while_o i_o think_v of_o this_o love_n and_o every_o thought_n that_o i_o have_v of_o it_o bespeak_v admiration_n this_o be_v that_o which_o angel_n admire_v and_o in_o which_o glorify_a saint_n be_v immerse_v these_o be_v the_o crystal_n stream_n which_o run_v before_o the_o throne_n of_o the_o lamb_n every_o drop_n of_o which_o present_v a_o jewel_n of_o inestimable_a price_n it_o be_v a_o thing_n rather_o to_o be_v admire_v than_o talk_v of_o here_o i_o can_v be_v content_a to_o dwell_v to_o eternity_n but_o i_o be_o call_v off_o to_o the_o second_o mark_n to_o discover_v this_o love_n in_o outward_a mercy_n and_o that_o be_v this_o ask_v your_o soul_n this_o question_n whether_o it_o have_v be_v draw_v out_o in_o praise_n for_o that_o which_o you_o have_v receive_v of_o god_n can_v you_o say_v that_o you_o love_v god_n the_o more_o for_o they_o and_o do_v they_o engage_v you_o to_o serve_v god_n more_o if_o they_o do_v you_o may_v assure_v yourself_o that_o god_n love_n be_v in_o every_o mercy_n you_o receive_v three_o can_v you_o see_v they_o give_v to_o you_o upon_o the_o account_n of_o christ_n can_v you_o say_v that_o god_n love_v you_o in_o christ_n therefore_o god_n give_v you_o this_o and_o that_o mercy_n this_o be_v one_o of_o the_o high_a attainment_n of_o a_o saint_n on_o this_o side_n glory_n this_o speak_v fullness_n of_o comfort_n o_o how_o sweet_a be_v it_o to_o see_v a_o reconcile_a father_n hold_v forth_o his_o hand_n full_a of_o mercy_n to_o hear_v he_o come_v and_o say_v child_n take_v this_o mercy_n and_o that_o mercy_n and_o when_o ever_o thou_o look_v upon_o they_o remember_v that_o i_o love_v thou_o o_o how_o pleasant_a be_v such_o a_o voice_n this_o can_v but_o work_v up_o the_o soul_n to_o love_n god_n and_o to_o breathe_v after_o god_n more_o than_o ever_o it_o be_v hard_o to_o distinguish_v betwixt_o a_o holy_a wait_a upon_o god_n for_o the_o answer_n of_o our_o prayer_n and_o a_o kind_n of_o security_n which_o be_v apt_a to_o seize_v upon_o man_n soul_n after_o prayer_n now_o for_o answer_n consider_v this_o that_o wait_v do_v not_o impair_a breathe_n of_o
improvement_n of_o spiritual_a knowledge_n even_o while_o at_o the_o university_n which_o may_v make_v he_o a_o workman_n that_o need_v not_o be_v ashamed_a we_o shall_v look_v upon_o he_o though_o then_o but_o a_o bachelor_n of_o art_n who_o yet_o have_v gain_v respect_n by_o his_o collegiate_n and_o academical_a exercise_n and_o be_v well_o furnish_v with_o ability_n as_o call_v to_o be_v employ_v in_o that_o exercise_n to_o which_o the_o former_a be_v only_o preparatory_a and_o subservient_fw-fr for_o it_o seem_v about_o the_o latter_a end_n of_o 1652_o when_o his_o father_n be_v admonish_v by_o age_n be_v summon_v by_o sickness_n to_o leave_v this_o temporary_a life_n he_o be_v concern_v to_o be_v at_o home_n the_o place_n of_o his_o nativity_n where_o his_o custom_n be_v to_o call_v his_o father_n servant_n to_o a_o account_n about_o their_o soul_n and_o to_o catechise_v they_o in_o the_o main_a principle_n of_o religion_n here_o when_o he_o have_v as_o a_o most_o dutiful_a son_n perform_v the_o last_o office_n to_o his_o die_a and_o decease_a father_n and_o be_v comfort_v his_o sorrowful_a mother_n and_o instruct_v the_o family_n he_o be_v importune_v by_o some_o good_a christian_n of_o his_o acquaintance_n who_o soon_o find_v what_o excellent_a gift_n and_o endowment_n this_o young_a timothy_n have_v to_o employ_v his_o talent_n in_o preach_v the_o gospel_n as_o occasion_n shall_v offer_v this_o upon_o their_o invitation_n he_o ready_o embrace_v and_o by_o his_o preach_v give_v such_o evident_a proof_n of_o his_o experimental_a knowledge_n utterance_n and_o zeal_n for_o god_n that_o upon_o the_o death_n of_o mr._n morton_n a_o very_a reverend_n and_o worthy_a minister_n the_o parishioner_n of_o mary_n newington-butt_n have_v hear_v he_o preach_v and_o be_v satisfy_v of_o his_o learning_n piety_n and_o ministerial_a ability_n as_o the_o instrument_n show_v and_o petition_v for_o he_o he_o be_v feb._n 16._o 1652_o order_v to_o that_o rectory_n by_o those_o then_o in_o power_n as_o a_o godly_a and_o orthodox_n divine_a and_o this_o be_v very_o remarkable_a in_o his_o election_n to_o that_o charge_n that_o though_o the_o parishioner_n be_v divide_v into_o two_o several_a party_n and_o both_o go_v with_o their_o petition_n to_o westminster_n upon_o the_o foresay_a vacancy_n to_o have_v a_o minister_n settle_v among_o they_o neither_o party_n know_v the_o other_o mind_n yet_o they_o both_o pitch_v upon_o he_o for_o who_o the_o unanimous_a petitioner_n do_v easy_o obtain_v a_o grant_n xxxviii_o hereupon_o this_o observant_a young_a divine_a who_o be_v ever_o ready_a to_o acknowledge_v god_n in_o all_o his_o way_n do_v in_o his_o book_n with_o his_o own_o hand_n record_v this_o seasonable_a call_n viz._n god_n call_v i_o very_o clear_o as_o i_o think_v to_o the_o charge_n of_o newington_n in_o which_o i_o use_v no_o mean_n but_o prayer_n wherein_o i_o be_v carry_v out_o in_o abundance_n of_o calmness_n of_o mind_n ground_v on_o faith_n this_o be_v remarkable_a in_o it_o that_o for_o some_o two_o week_n before_o i_o hear_v of_o it_o i_o be_v exceed_o trouble_v in_o my_o thought_n about_o mean_n for_o subsist_v at_o the_o university_n till_o my_o profit_n come_v in_o and_o behold_v how_o god_n gracious_o silence_v all_o they_o by_o a_o gracious_a providence_n but_o i_o look_v high_o than_o so_o for_o much_o about_o this_o time_n as_o we_o conceive_v he_o be_v also_o choose_v fellow_n of_o christ_n college_n yet_o to_o the_o satisfaction_n of_o the_o reverend_n dr._n bolton_n the_o master_n and_o his_o particular_a friend_n he_o resolve_v to_o accept_v of_o the_o charge_n at_o newington_n where_o he_o be_v so_o unanimous_o desire_v and_o where_o he_o may_v have_v a_o great_a opportunity_n of_o do_v good_a to_o soul_n which_o be_v most_o upon_o his_o heart_n and_o the_o work_n of_o god_n upon_o other_o heart_n by_o his_o preach_v be_v much_o heed_v by_o he_o for_o we_o have_v he_o note_v feb._n 17._o 1652_o 3._o i_o preach_v at_o mary-overees_a wherein_o god_n wrought_v so_o gracious_o by_o i_o upon_o t._n w._n that_o through_o the_o urgency_n of_o his_o spirit_n he_o write_v a_o large_a letter_n to_o i_o indeed_o very_o spiritual_o wherein_o he_o bless_a god_n particular_o that_o he_o have_v hear_v i_o and_o that_o god_n have_v count_v i_o so_o worthy_a as_o to_o become_v a_o ambassador_n of_o so_o glorious_a a_o gospel_n this_o be_v the_o first_o occasion_n of_o the_o renew_n our_o acquaintance_n bless_v the_o lord_n o_o my_o soul_n that_o he_o have_v make_v use_n of_o thy_o foolishness_n to_o manifest_v his_o wisdom_n and_o his_o grace_n to_o other_o thirty-nine_o afterward_o on_o march_n 6._o and_o 11._o we_o find_v he_o again_o record_v these_o observables_n i_o hear_v from_o one_o of_o newington_n that_o a_o wicked_a man_n of_o that_o parish_n shall_v say_v to_o he_o that_o he_o be_v very_o glad_a that_o they_o have_v make_v such_o a_o choice_n of_o i_o which_o force_v he_o to_o these_o expression_n through_o my_o weak_a preach_n that_o he_o be_v persuade_v if_o the_o devil_n himself_o shall_v come_v and_o preach_v to_o man_n he_o will_v persuade_v they_o to_o seek_v heaven_n o_o my_o soul_n admire_v the_o new_a jerusalem_n further_o mr._n diaper_n bring_v one_o of_o newington_n to_o i_o they_o call_v mr._n langleys_n convert_v who_o tell_v i_o in_o our_o converse_n that_o he_o have_v lie_v under_o a_o deadness_n of_o heart_n for_o almost_o a_o quarter_n of_o a_o year_n but_o since_o my_o preach_v there_o his_o spirit_n be_v exceed_o refresh_v and_o quicken_v this_o be_v the_o lord_n do_n and_o it_o be_v wonderful_a in_o my_o eye_n the_o same_o night_n in_o our_o conference_n both_o concur_v i_o mean_v the_o forementioned_a party_n in_o this_o experiment_n that_o they_o have_v kneel_v down_o on_o their_o knee_n yet_o through_o straitness_n of_o heart_n have_v rise_v up_o again_o and_o petition_v nothing_o of_o god_n march_n 12._o say_v he_o my_o soul_n be_v in_o a_o exceed_a spiritual_a frame_n wherein_o god_n exceed_o deadn_v i_o as_o to_o worldly-mindedness_a with_o which_o through_o a_o little_a dally_v with_o a_o day_n or_o two_o before_o i_o be_v somewhat_o bewitch_v oh_o my_o soul_n take_v heed_n of_o jest_n with_o covetous_a expression_n lest_o it_o prove_v thy_o snare_n on_o saturday_n night_n april_n the_o one_a my_o spirit_n be_v very_o much_o refresh_v in_o the_o light_n of_o god_n countenance_n the_o act_n of_o my_o faith_n be_v very_o visible_a in_o relation_n to_o newingtons_n salvation_n a_o friend_n of_o i_o tell_v i_o of_o a_o very_a carnal_a wretch_n that_o at_o hear_v of_o i_o concern_v the_o unkindness_n of_o sinner_n to_o god_n be_v very_o importunate_a with_o the_o say_a party_n to_o write_v out_o my_o sermon_n for_o he_o which_o importunity_n last_v for_o a_o week_n or_o more_o but_o at_o length_n the_o say_v importunate_a party_n wax_v cold_a and_o he_o hear_v no_o more_o of_o he_o when_o he_o have_v write_v it_o out_o for_o he_o note_v all_o conviction_n and_o all_o melt_n be_v not_o convert_v for_o the_o search_n of_o such_o like_a we_o have_v this_o experimental_a preacher_n record_v you_o shall_v find_v it_o in_o your_o deal_n with_o some_o soul_n that_o it_o be_v very_o hard_a to_o bring_v they_o off_o their_o good_a meaning_n and_o wish_n especial_o such_o as_o be_v any_o thing_n moral_a and_o haply_o do_v subdue_v some_o of_o their_o grosser_n sin_n examine_v such_o thus_o first_o how_o do_v your_o soul_n take_v it_o if_o you_o find_v not_o god_n in_o prayer_n if_o you_o can_v rise_v up_o as_o you_o kneel_v down_o find_v god_n or_o not_o find_v he_o suspect_v thy_o heart_n for_o all_o be_v not_o right_o within_o second_o whether_o do_v the_o absence_n of_o god_n or_o the_o loss_n of_o a_o creature_n a_o child_n or_o a_o wife_n or_o a_o husband_n most_o trouble_n thou_o thou_o may_v by_o this_o search_n thy_o heart_n to_o the_o quick_a for_o the_o loss_n of_o whatsoever_o it_o be_v that_o trouble_v thou_o most_o that_o be_v thy_o heart_n most_o upon_o indeed_o the_o heart_n of_o this_o choice_a servant_n of_o the_o lord_n be_v much_o upon_o his_o master_n work_n for_o the_o good_a of_o soul_n for_o on_o a_o time_n june_n 1651._o we_o find_v he_o have_v note_v that_o he_o be_v furprize_v in_o spirit_n with_o joy_n unutterable_a break_v out_o oh_o how_o do_v my_o bowel_n earn_v when_o i_o think_v of_o soul_n at_o a_o distance_n from_o god_n and_o sit_v upon_o the_o shadow_n of_o death_n whereupon_o he_o communicate_v his_o experience_n to_o his_o chamber-fellow_n xl._n and_o now_o have_v after_o through_o examination_n and_o profession_n of_o his_o faith_n be_v solemn_o set_v apart_o to_o his_o ministerial_a office_n and_o pastoral_a charge_n by_o the_o lay_n on_o of_o the_o hand_n of_o
in_o several_a particular_n 1._o sorrow_n be_v the_o proper_a consequent_a of_o sin_n christian_n therefore_o so_o far_o as_o free_v from_o sin_n be_v necessary_o in_o a_o state_n of_o freedom_n from_o sinful_a sorrow_n slavish_a fear_n etc._n etc._n that_o liberty_n 2_o cor._n 3._o latter_a end_n be_v fix_v to_o joy_n nothing_o so_o genuine_a and_o characteristical_o appendant_a to_o the_o state_n of_o a_o adopt_a child_n of_o god_n as_o joy_n because_o have_v the_o spirit_n he_o ought_v to_o rejoice_v evermore_o and_o that_o with_o joy_n unspeakable_a and_o full_a of_o glory_n 2._o i_o grant_v also_o that_o saint_n ought_v to_o joy_n in_o one_o another_o society_n with_o a_o spiritual_a delight_n consider_v the_o wiseman_n saying_n prov._n 15.16_o better_a be_v little_a with_o the_o fear_n of_o the_o lord_n than_o great_a treasure_n and_o trouble_v therewith_o the_o company_n of_o such_o shall_v be_v all_o their_o delight_n psal_n 16.3_o christ_n himself_o speak_v of_o his_o rejoice_v in_o the_o habitable_a part_n of_o his_o earth_n and_o his_o delight_n with_o the_o son_n of_o man_n prov._n 8.31_o this_o may_v be_v more_o at_o large_a evidence_v from_o scripture_n 3._o i_o must_v as_o i_o have_v have_v too_o sad_a a_o cause_n put_v in_o this_o much_o that_o as_o christian_a liberty_n in_o other_o thing_n through_o satan_n policy_n be_v abuse_v too_o too_o much_o for_o a_o occasion_n to_o the_o gratify_n of_o the_o flesh_n and_o vanity_n of_o heart_n which_o shall_v not_o be_v gal._n 5.13_o so_o in_o this_o which_o i_o account_v if_o it_o be_v bring_v to_o the_o face_n vain_a laughter_n which_o i_o shall_v describe_v in_o brief_a and_o then_o leave_v to_o spiritual_a judgement_n there_o be_v such_o a_o frame_n of_o heart_n in_o many_o precious_a saint_n as_o this_o viz._n ascertain_v sudden_a indeliberate_a and_o rash_a leap_v of_o heart_n careless_o blind_o and_o unadvised_o transport_v with_o fleshly_a apprehension_n of_o some_o sensual_a ridiculousness_n in_o somewhat_o though_o never_o so_o spiritual_a without_o the_o soul_n a_o unreasonable_a jocundness_n a_o shameful_a discovery_n of_o the_o heart_n nakedness_n and_o inconsiderable_a jovialty_n a_o carnal_a unaccountable_a tripudiation_n in_o case_n never_o so_o serious_a yea_o sometime_o when_o most_o serious_a a_o delightful_a frenzy_n a_o irregular_a itch_a of_o the_o laugh_a faculty_n alas_o i_o can_v but_o say_v i_o have_v sound_v my_o own_o heart_n sometime_o like_o a_o feather_n follow_v the_o puff_n of_o any_o ridiculous_a object_n up_o and_o down_o according_a to_o the_o less_o or_o great_a impression_n which_o any_o vain_a foolish_a matter_n make_v upon_o my_o sense_n i_o have_v occasion_n to_o cry_v out_o june_n 18._o o_o the_o filthy_a emptiness_n of_o my_o weak_a heart_n arise_v from_o those_o trouble_a steam_n within_o i_o this_o i_o can_v then_o count_v nothing_o but_o a_o fuzze_n of_o vanity_n a_o bubble_n of_o corruption_n a_o carnal_a dance_n of_o the_o careless_a son_n the_o bane_n of_o reason_n and_o poison_n of_o religion_n carnality_n therefore_o and_o vanity_n be_v the_o formal_a constitutives_n of_o this_o distemper_n vanity_n i_o say_v and_o lightness_n in_o a_o untameable_a predominancy_n the_o internal_a cause_n of_o it_o be_v the_o looseness_n and_o rottenness_n of_o such_o a_o soul_n as_o be_v void_a of_o the_o actual_a exercise_n or_o power_n of_o reason_n discretion_n and_o judgement_n but_o it_o be_v promote_v cherish_v and_o enlarge_v from_o some_o particular_a circumstance_n in_o the_o object_n ab_fw-la extra_fw-la let_v into_o the_o unsettle_a mind_n and_o indispose_a heart_n by_o the_o quick_a convoy_n of_o the_o brutish_a sense_n which_o cause_v this_o lightness_n i_o speak_v of_o or_o a_o unaccountable_a or_o overpowerful_a frame_n of_o laugh_v upon_o the_o presentation_n of_o the_o imagination_n or_o understanding_n either_o of_o a_o very_a serious_a thing_n grace_n or_o carriage_n of_o a_o person_n apprehend_v under_o the_o notion_n of_o his_o be_v usual_o familiar_a or_o light_n or_o more_o near_o i_o mean_v spiritual_o relate_v to_o the_o soul_n thus_o distemper_v have_v for_o its_o external_a rise_n or_o occasion_n ex_fw-la parte_fw-la objecti_fw-la that_o very_a thing_n ordinary_o which_o to_o a_o rectify_a and_o considerative_a mind_n shall_v rather_o be_v a_o cause_n of_o sorrow_n or_o serious_a humble_a rejoice_v namely_o sometime_o 1._o another_o expression_n of_o the_o like_a vanity_n 2._o the_o more_o precious_a serious_a or_o so_o apprehend_v saint_n his_o cast_v his_o eye_n fix_o upon_o thou_o 3._o such_o a_o familiar_a saint_n his_o relation_n either_o of_o some_o great_a sin_n or_o some_o special_a act_n of_o divine_a grace_n in_o any_o spiritual_a work_n of_o soul_n or_o his_o put_v a_o light_a soul_n on_o any_o more_o singular_o advantageous_a duty_n suppose_v prayer_n out_o of_o a_o serious_a heart_n 4._o the_o external_a efficient_a cause_n of_o this_o distemper_n be_v satan_n who_o perceive_v the_o heart_n loose_v at_o the_o bottom_n easy_o dispose_v to_o lightness_n of_o spirit_n make_v it_o more_o vain_a and_o cause_v other_o object_n to_o take_v 5._o as_o the_o cause_n of_o this_o distemper_n be_v very_o bad_a because_o corruptio_fw-la optimi_fw-la est_fw-la pessima_fw-la so_o the_o effect_n be_v and_o proportionable_o worse_a take_v it_o thus_o in_o the_o lump_n it_o be_v scandalous_a and_o a_o temptation_n to_o other_o it_o make_v one_o uncredible_a as_o to_o any_o spiritual_a thing_n do_v or_o urge_v by_o one_o in_o such_o a_o frame_n yea_o it_o render_v a_o more_o serious_a mood_n suspicious_a upon_o the_o same_o account_n it_o grieve_v true_a saint_n and_o delight_v the_o devil_n in_o respect_n of_o one_o self_n it_o cause_v according_o as_o it_o be_v more_o prevalent_a a_o general_a indisposition_n to_o all_o act_n of_o religion_n and_o sense_n of_o god_n it_o deprive_v a_o man_n of_o all_o spiritual_a communion_n either_o 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and_o all_o spiritual_a thing_n because_o it_o be_v the_o fruit_n of_o the_o spirit_n gal._n 5.22_o this_o do_v as_o it_o be_v oil_n the_o chariot-wheel_n of_o the_o soul_n dispose_v it_o better_o to_o communion_n with_o god_n and_o all_o spiritual_a activity_n yea_o see_v it_o arise_v from_o some_o love_n of_o god_n and_o christ_n in_o he_o dart_v into_o the_o soul_n it_o fit_v the_o soul_n more_o for_o christ_n and_o inflame_v it_o towards_o he_o by_o this_o the_o apprehension_n of_o god_n be_v not_o extinguish_v but_o sweeten_v not_o diminish_v but_o rather_o enlarge_v whereas_o è_fw-la contra_fw-la the_o frame_n before_o mention_v dim_v the_o light_n of_o grace_n which_o by_o the_o spirit_n have_v be_v sow_o in_o the_o soul_n it_o quench_v the_o spirit_n of_o divine_a union_n and_o so_o estrange_n the_o soul_n from_o god_n it_o set_v the_o door_n open_a to_o backslide_v and_o profaneness_n of_o heart_n and_o we_o see_v it_o be_v the_o nurse_n of_o profaneness_n in_o our_o 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sin_n see_v partic._n 3d._n above_o three_o
then_o in_o the_o afternoon_n some_o of_o his_o choice_a christian_a friend_n minister_n and_o other_o meet_v to_o seek_v the_o lord_n with_o fervency_n on_o his_o behalf_n when_o again_o pinch_v with_o recur_v pain_n he_o say_v he_o be_v in_o a_o agony_n but_o not_o a_o bloody_a one_o and_o what_o be_v all_o my_o pain_n to_o those_o christ_n do_v undergo_v for_o i_o when_o they_o be_v earnest_a with_o god_n in_o prayer_n for_o faith_n and_o patience_n he_o will_v often_o be_v say_v though_o thou_o kill_v i_o yet_o will_v i_o trust_v in_o thou_o and_o express_v much_o humility_n when_o they_o be_v importunate_a for_o his_o restoration_n ah_o poor_a useless_a sinful_a wretched_a creature_n that_o i_o be_o that_o they_o shall_v be_v so_o earnest_a for_o my_o life_n but_o when_o it_o please_v the_o lord_n that_o his_o pain_n shall_v continue_v and_o the_o joint_n and_o ardent_a prayer_n of_o his_o dear_a relative_n and_o people_n be_v not_o prevalent_a for_o his_o recovery_n he_o will_v be_v ever_o and_o anon_o thus_o still_v and_o quiet_v himself_o what_o shall_v i_o say_v unto_o thou_o o_o thou_o preserver_n of_o man_n one_o minute_n in_o heaven_n will_v make_v amends_o for_o all_o this_o pain_n lviii_o on_o friday_n 27_o his_o repeat_v pain_n do_v continue_v yet_o the_o doctor_n of_o physic_n say_v there_o be_v no_o danger_n towards_o evening_n he_o have_v some_o intermission_n and_o then_o be_v read_v some_o part_n of_o his_o own_o book_n concern_v the_o immortality_n of_o the_o soul_n and_o faith_n triumph_n over_o the_o fear_n of_o death_n that_o friday_n night_n his_o friend_n that_o much_o love_v he_o mr._n jeofferies_n sit_v up_o with_o he_o when_o be_v again_o rack_v with_o grievous_a pain_n he_o speak_v to_o this_o purpose_n oh_o the_o wonderful_a mystery_n of_o the_o providence_n of_o god_n who_o can_v see_v a_o job_n cast_v out_o upon_o a_o dunghill_n fill_v with_o botch_n and_o bile_n for_o saken_a by_o his_o friend_n and_o worry_v by_o satan_n and_o yet_o at_o that_o very_a time_n god_n have_v not_o a_o more_o choice_a servant_n on_o the_o face_n of_o the_o earth_n nor_o one_o more_o dear_a to_o he_o than_o he_o be_v to_o another_o of_o his_o congregation_n come_v with_o his_o wife_n that_o evening_n to_o visit_v he_o and_o say_v if_o it_o shall_v please_v god_n he_o shall_v then_o die_v they_o shall_v be_v a_o scatter_a flock_n as_o sheep_n without_o a_o shepherd_n he_o say_v the_o great_a shepherd_n of_o his_o flock_n live_v still_o or_o eternal_o he_o doubt_v not_o but_o he_o will_v take_v care_n of_o they_o lix_n on_o saturday_n morning_n 28_o he_o by_o the_o help_n of_o his_o intimate_a friend_n mr._n obadiah_n sedgwick_n merchant_n make_v his_o last_o will_n and_o testament_n constitute_v his_o wife_n sole_a executrix_n he_o then_o as_o one_o who_o have_v set_v his_o house_n in_o order_n taking_z leave_z of_o this_o world_n tell_v his_o wife_n he_o have_v now_o do_v with_o wife_n and_o child_n and_o not_o less_o than_o twice_o to_o the_o question_n how_o it_o be_v with_o he_o as_o to_o soul-concerns_a he_o answer_v i_o bless_v the_o lord_n i_o have_v no_o cloud_n upon_o my_o spirit_n yet_o if_o my_o god_n shall_v give_v satan_n leave_v he_o may_v put_v i_o into_o a_o agony_n before_o i_o die_v reverend_a mr._n bragg_n in_o his_o sermon_n p._n 24_o 25._o have_v more_o he_o then_o speak_v of_o this_o nature_n yet_o further_o he_o repeat_v that_o of_o solomon_n the_o soul_n know_v his_o own_o bitterness_n and_o a_o strange_a intermedle_n not_o with_o his_o joy_n he_o tell_v mr._n parson_n his_o fellow-labourer_n in_o the_o ministry_n all_o my_o self-righteousness_n i_o disow_v and_o i_o trust_v only_o to_o christ_n and_o hope_v i_o have_v a_o gospel-righteousness_n this_o evening_n see_v his_o wife_n to_o weep_v he_o say_v i_o prithee_o weep_v not_o but_o turn_v thy_o face_n with_o hezekiah_n to_o the_o wall_n and_o pray_v the_o night_n after_o when_o he_o be_v weak_a his_o pain_n grow_v strong_a but_o when_o a_o acute_a pain_n be_v a_o little_a over_o he_o will_v ever_o and_o anon_o say_v now_o this_o pain_n be_v over_o and_o i_o shall_v know_v it_o no_o more_o and_o to_o one_o that_o stand_v by_o who_o he_o think_v have_v not_o walk_v acurate_o now_o see_v the_o benefit_n of_o a_o good_a conscience_n then_o when_o they_o have_v give_v he_o something_o from_o the_o apothecary_n to_o dispose_v he_o to_o sleep_v though_o his_o speech_n be_v somewhat_o interrupt_v with_o pain_n and_o drowsiness_n he_o be_v much_o concern_v for_o the_o people_n of_o god_n in_o england_n after_o a_o little_a slumber_n he_o say_v i_o long_o to_o see_v a_o people_n rich_a in_o spiritual_a grace_n as_o well_o as_o spiritual_a privilege_n but_o sure_o god_n have_v here_o a_o peculiar_a people_n a_o royal_a priesthood_n that_o serve_v he_o day_n and_o night_n in_o sincerity_n lx._n on_o the_o lordsday_n morning_n 29_o his_o wife_n ask_v he_o whether_o he_o know_v she_o what_o say_v he_o not_o know_v thou_o not_o know_v my_o wife_n thou_o will_v make_v i_o to_o think_v i_o be_o go_v to_o triumph_v before_o i_o be_o however_o his_o triumph_n be_v not_o many_o hour_n after_o for_o though_o his_o people_n in_o the_o solemn_a assembly_n that_o holy_a day_n have_v be_v earnest_a again_o with_o the_o lord_n if_o he_o have_v see_v good_a to_o have_v spare_v he_o long_o to_o they_o about_o one_o of_o the_o clock_n that_o lordsday_n on_o which_o bless_a day_n he_o have_v use_v to_o be_v much_o in_o a_o heavenly_a frame_n as_o before_o this_o choice_a servant_n of_o the_o lord_n expire_v his_o last_o breath_n and_o his_o holy_a soul_n enter_v those_o joy_n he_o have_v often_o be_v labour_v to_o get_v a_o pisgaghsight_n of_o and_o to_o show_v they_o to_o other_o while_o he_o be_v here_o in_o the_o body_n upon_o his_o death_n that_o be_v dissect_v there_o be_v a_o stone_n take_v out_o of_o his_o bladder_n figure_v like_o a_o egg_n which_o then_o do_v weigh_v betwixt_o three_o and_o four_o ounce_n it_o may_v yet_o be_v see_v in_o the_o hand_n of_o his_o sister_n he_o have_v a_o brother_n who_o though_o a_o very_a strong_a young_a man_n when_o he_o be_v not_o above_o 20_o year_n of_o age_n die_v be_v cut_v of_o the_o stone_n which_o much_o affect_v our_o compassionate_a author_n and_o make_v he_o all_o his_o life_n after_o pre-apprehensive_a of_o those_o pain_n which_o next_o cause_v his_o own_o dissolution_n lxi_o if_o upon_o their_o departure_n as_o erasmus_n say_v in_o the_o life_n of_o hierome_n we_o be_v ready_a to_o kiss_v the_o very_a shoe_n and_o shirt_n though_o soil_v of_o those_o saint_n we_o love_v we_o shall_v certain_o account_v their_o book_n their_o best_a relic_n most_o useful_a and_o efficacious_a the_o work_n of_o our_o author_n much_o belove_v by_o those_o who_o know_v he_o well_o already_o publish_v with_o good_a effect_n be_v 1._o his_o serious_a exhortation_n to_o a_o holy_a life_n wherein_o he_o do_v with_o great_a strength_n and_o much_o affection_n from_o mat._n 5.20_o put_v in_o a_o plea_n for_o the_o absolute_a necessity_n of_o inherent_a righteousness_n in_o those_o that_o hope_v to_o be_v save_v this_o be_v write_v when_o he_o have_v be_v six_o year_n at_o newington_n as_o he_o say_v in_o his_o epistle_n to_o it_o 2._o the_o immortality_n of_o the_o soul_n prove_v by_o scripture_n and_o reason_n to_o the_o saint_n joy_n and_o the_o sinner_n terror_n print_a much_o about_o the_o time_n of_o his_o last_o marriage_n 1670._o to_o which_o be_v annex_v 3._o the_o triumph_n of_o faith_n be_v in_o a_o tendency_n to_o the_o practical_a improvement_n of_o the_o former_a from_o phil._n 1.21_o answer_v fear_n upon_o the_o conceive_a approach_n of_o death_n 4._o â—_o sermon_n in_o the_o print_a book_n of_o farewell-sermon_n though_o it_o seem_v that_o be_v not_o the_o very_a last_o he_o preach_v before_o sting_a bartholomew_n on_o rev._n 2.5_o remember_v therefore_o from_o whence_o thou_o be_v fall_v and_o do_v the_o first_o work_n or_o else_o i_o will_v come_v unto_o thou_o quick_o and_o will_v remove_v thy_o candlestick_n out_o of_o his_o place_n except_o thou_o repent_v publish_v 1663._o where_o he_o press_v england_n to_o repent_v lest_o say_v he_o if_o god_n be_v provoke_v by_o sin_n to_o go_v the_o devil_n come_v and_o he_o add_v prophetical_o enough_o the_o plague_n pestilence_n and_o sword_n and_o all_o other_o manner_n of_o evil_n follow_v god_n do_v not_o go_v alone_o neither_o do_v god_n remove_v his_o candlestick_n alone_o i_o do_v not_o tell_v you_o that_o god_n threaten_v you_o to_o pull_v down_o all_o your_o light_n i_o will_v not_o terrify_v you_o by_o tell_v you_o that_o god_n be_v a_o depart_n from_o you_o when_o he_o put_v out_o
some_o of_o your_o light_n but_o yet_o i_o must_v needs_o tell_v you_o that_o when_o god_n do_v deprive_v you_o of_o so_o many_o hundred_o of_o as_o pious_a and_o laborious_a and_o as_o learned_a minister_n some_o of_o they_o as_o any_o be_v in_o the_o vineyard_n i_o say_v when_o god_n deal_v thus_o with_o you_o i_o can_v think_v that_o it_o be_v in_o mercy_n to_o you_o but_o in_o judgement_n the_o church_n of_o england_n be_v a_o great_a people_n and_o there_o be_v many_o poor_a soul_n in_o it_o that_o be_v as_o firebrand_n in_o the_o fire_n that_o have_v great_a need_n to_o be_v pluck_v out_o and_o as_o there_o be_v bless_a be_v god_n many_o eminent_a minister_n at_o this_o day_n in_o england_n to_o snatch_v poor_a soul_n as_o firebrand_n out_o of_o the_o fire_n yet_o i_o say_v that_o where_o there_o be_v one_o we_o have_v need_n of_o ten_o he_o live_v to_o see_v the_o prediction_n verify_v in_o the_o great_a plague_n the_o dutch_a war_n and_o what_o succeed_v till_o 1676._o what_o evil_n have_v be_v since_o they_o who_o love_v the_o lord_n jesus_n in_o sincerity_n can_v well_o observe_v 5._o a_o sermon_n in_o the_o supplement_n to_o the_o morning-exercise_n at_o cripplegate_n about_o practical_a case_n of_o conscience_n viz._n sermon_n xii_o publish_v 1674._o wherein_o he_o have_v clear_o show_v how_o it_o do_v appear_v to_o be_v every_o christian_n indispensable_a duty_n to_o partake_v of_o the_o lords-supper_n from_o 1_o cor._n 11.24_o this_o do_v in_o remembrance_n of_o i_o 6._o a_o sermon_n in_o the_o morning_n exercise_n against_o popery_n viz._n sermon_n xxiii_o publish_v 1675._o on_o heb._n 10.12_o but_o this_o man_n after_o he_o have_v offer_v one_o sacrifice_n for_o sin_n for_o ever_o sit_v down_o at_o the_o right_a hand_n of_o god_n whence_o he_o make_v it_o evident_a against_o the_o papist_n that_o christ_n crucify_v be_v the_o only_a divine_a and_o proper_a sacrifice_n of_o the_o gospel_n and_o be_v once_o offer_v be_v so_o complete_o efficacious_a as_o that_o it_o take_v away_o sin_n full_o and_o for_o ever_o 7._o separation_n no_o schism_n be_v a_o full_a and_o sober_a vindication_n of_o the_o nonconformist_n from_o the_o charge_n and_o imputation_n of_o schism_n in_o answer_n to_o a_o sermon_n preach_v before_o the_o lord_n mayor_n by_o j._n s._n this_o print_a 1675._o 8._o his_o last_o warning_n to_o secure_a sinner_n be_v his_o two_o last_o sermon_n concern_v the_o certainty_n and_o dreadfulness_n of_o the_o future_a misery_n of_o all_o ungodly_a sinner_n wherein_o his_o fervency_n of_o spirit_n in_o serve_v of_o the_o lord_n be_v very_o conspicuous_a this_o last_o be_v publish_v short_o after_o his_o death_n lxii_o concern_v these_o posthumous_n remain_v which_o now_o appear_v abroad_o though_o they_o have_v not_o those_o polishing_n which_o may_v have_v be_v give_v to_o they_o by_o the_o last_o hand_n of_o their_o excellent_a author_n yet_o they_o shall_v not_o be_v under_o value_v it_o be_v very_o well_o know_v he_o be_v 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transgression_n he_o have_v wound_n and_o for_o our_o sin_n be_v bruise_v by_o his_o chastisement_n we_o have_v peace_n for_o our_o health_n stripe_n he_o choose_v all_o we_o like_v sheep_n have_v go_v astray_o and_o turn_v from_o god_n each_o one_o but_o god_n all_o our_o iniquity_n have_v lay_v on_o he_o alone_o he_o be_v afflict_v and_o oppress_v yet_o move_v not_o his_o tongue_n lay_v like_o a_o lamb_n when_o to_o be_v kill_v by_o butcher_n lay_v along_o from_o darksome_a prison_n he_o be_v take_v who_o shall_v declare_v his_o birth_n for_o the_o people_n sin_n he_o smite_v be_v and_o cut_v off_o from_o the_o earth_n with_o wicked_a man_n he_o find_v a_o death_n among_o the_o rich_a a_o tomb_n because_o for_o ill_a nor_o do_v nor_o say_v he_o have_v receive_v his_o doom_n yet_o do_v it_o please_v the_o lord_n to_o bruise_v and_o put_v he_o for_o to_o bleed_v therefore_o he_o shall_v prolong_v his_o day_n and_o after_o see_v his_o seed_n therefore_o the_o pleasure_n of_o the_o 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arise_v out_o of_o a_o pit_n by_o which_o a_o beldame_n lie_v stir_a her_o urine_n thence_o do_v darkness_n fleet_n baffle_v the_o light_n make_v the_o day_n retreat_n cloud_n in_o the_o air_n engender_v double_a charge_n themselves_o with_o thunder_n than_o themselves_o enlarge_v in_o sheet_n of_o flame_n thence_o follow_v wind_n that_o strike_v amazement_n to_o the_o hearer_n mind_n what_o shall_v i_o say_v of_o wizard_n that_o be_v whirl_v in_o cloudy_a chariot_n round_o the_o airy_a world_n what_o of_o amantius_n and_o rotarius_n set_v perch_v on_o top_n of_o oak_n bemire_v and_o wet_a whence_o in_o a_o trice_n from_o out_o the_o shepherd_n sight_n a_o wind_n they_o snatch_v and_o then_o take_v their_o flight_n like_o two_o cock-sparrow_n it_o length_n be_v see_v to_o hop_v upon_o a_o tower_a lofty_a house_n top_n one_o tremble_v the_o other_o laugh_v bid_v he_o cheer_n it_o be_v as_o safe_a to_o be_v in_o the_o air_n as_o there_o thus_o be_v mag._n warrin_n hackn_v on_o the_o back_n of_o some_o foul_a fien_n that_o make_v the_o welkin_n crack_v with_o storm_n and_o tempest_n as_o he_o she_o do_v rear_v a_o loft_n jolt_a along_o yet_o void_a of_o fear_n light_v at_o last_o on_o the_o top_n of_o a_o tall_a oak_n be_v see_v condemn_v and_o in_o a_o rope_n do_v choke_v wondrous_a be_v it_o easy_a tell_v i_o to_o conceive_v that_o air_n shall_v thus_o condense_a itself_o then_o heave_v such_o weighty_a body_n upward_o or_o bare_a word_n or_o ceremonious_a charm_n make_v they_o as_o bird_n to_o course_n about_o the_o air_n ma'ned_a we_o with_o ease_n rather_o imagine_v spirit_n to_o produce_v all_o these_o strike_v sail_n my_o muse_n thou_o 'rt_v now_o in_o sight_n of_o shore_n lade_v with_o traffic_n have_v enrich_v i_o more_o than_o indian_a voyage_n knowledge_n of_o spirit_n to_o i_o be_v far_o more_o sweet_a than_o arab_n spice_n be_v they_o may_v embalm_v the_o body_n what_o care_v i_o let_v body_n rot_v and_o stink_n my_o soul_n can_v die_v spirit_n be_v all_o immortal_a so_o be_v my_o soul_n it_o can_v waste_v nor_o die_v bell_n they_o may_v toul_n their_o mortal_a knell_n for_o body_n but_o i_o have_v what_o the_o father_n of_o spirit_n alive_a will_v save_v welcome_o you_o angel_n then_o it_o be_v for_o your_o sake_n that_o i_o in_o part_n this_o tedious_a voyage_n make_v my_o undisturbed_a reason_n free_a from_o doubt_n spirit_n have_v see_v in_o flesh_n and_o some_o without_o lord_n when_o this_o prison_n fall_v and_o i_o be_o free_a let_v i_o in_o the_o number_n of_o just_a spirit_n be_v finis_fw-la the_o table_n a_o preface_n of_o the_o author_n life_n and_o death_n a_o elegy_n on_o the_o author_n death_n octob._n 29._o 1676._o verse_n on_o the_o picture_n and_o book_n the_o content_n of_o the_o book_n viz._n three_o preparatory_a question_n about_o the_o sacrament_n pag._n 1_o a_o example_n of_o meditation_n about_o the_o suffering_n of_o christ_n pag._n 2_o etc._n etc._n the_o cause_n of_o christ_n death_n consider_v in_o that_o meditation_n pag._n 6_o etc._n etc._n a_o colloquy_n betwixt_o the_o judge_n sinner_n and_o saviour_n pag._n 14_o etc._n etc._n objection_n about_o god_n love_n etc._n etc._n answer_v pag._n 20_o etc._n etc._n the_o sacrament_n particular_o the_o dress_n pag._n 31_o etc._n etc._n the_o presence-chamber_n pag._n 33_o the_o communion_n plate_n and_o the_o bread_n pag._n 35_o the_o wine_n pag._n 37_o the_o conclusion_n pag._n 40_o a_o meditation_n on_o christ_n death_n preparatory_a to_o the_o sacrament_n for_o private_a use_n pag._n 42_o three_o pious_a letter_n to_o his_o sister_n when_o he_o be_v but_o a_o young_a student_n at_o christ_n college_n pag._n 50_o a_o sermon_n on_o rev._n 12.1_o of_o the_o church_n compare_v to_o a_o woman_n pag._n 58_o a_o sermon_n on_o amos_n 3.6_o preach_v sept._n 2._o 1673._o pag._n 81_o a_o meditation_n for_o raise_v his_o heart_n under_o slight_n pag._n 123_o poem_n hymn_n 1._o on_o the_o soul_n love-sickness_n pag._n 126_o hymn_n 2._o the_o soul_n farewell_o to_o her_o body_n pag._n 128_o hymn_n 3._o the_o resurrection_n of_o our_o bless_a lord_n pag._n 130_o hymn_n 4._o of_o our_o lord_n ascension_n into_o heaven_n pag._n 132_o hymn_n 5._o the_o soul_n access_n pag._n 133_o hymn_n 6._o the_o descent_n of_o the_o spirit_n pag._n 135_o hymn_n 7._o of_o god_n providence_n and_o judgement_n pag._n 137_o hymn_n 8._o the_o vanity_n of_o create_a enjoyment_n pag._n 142_o hymn_n 9_o on_o isaiah_n 53._o pag._n 144_o hymn_n 10._o a_o consolatory_a against_o the_o fear_n of_o death_n pag._n 146_o hymn_n 11._o comfortable_a at_o the_o death_n of_o a_o dear_a friend_n pag._n 150_o hymn_n 12._o of_o thanksgiving_n for_o the_o restoration_n of_o health_n pag._n 153_o hymn_n 13._o remedy_n against_o discontentment_n in_o four_o part_n pag._n 156_o hymn_n 14._o the_o desire_n of_o assurance_n pag._n 161_o the_o welcome_a pag._n 166_o mortality_n pag._n 172_o self-estimation_n pag._n 174_o contempt_n a_o dialogue_n betwixt_o flesh_n and_o spirit_n pag._n 176_o the_o alarm_n pag._n 177_o a_o song_n of_o the_o pilgrim_n pag._n 181_o a_o spiritual_a song_n of_o triumph_n pag._n 182_o a_o description_n of_o paul_n be_v shipwreck_n act._n 27._o pag._n 184_o a_o sinner_n unregenerate_a inside_n turn_v outside_n or_o the_o language_n of_o the_o kingdom_n of_o darkness_n pag._n 192_o the_o rout_n of_o demetrius_n pag._n 195_o the_o flint_n pag._n 200_o a_o divine_a song_n of_o the_o bride_n stay_v for_o she_o beloved_n pag._n 202_o a_o wound_a conscience_n pag._n 205_o the_o petition_n for_o a_o prospect_n of_o immortality_n pag._n 207_o