i_o be_v one_o of_o that_o number_n who_o god_n the_o father_n elect_v and_o choose_v to_o himself_o in_o christ_n out_o of_o the_o corrupt_a mass_n of_o fall_v mankind_n and_o that_o before_o time_n begin_v and_o that_o my_o name_n be_v record_v in_o heaven_n in_o the_o lamb_n book_n of_o life_n 2._o he_o assure_v i_o that_o my_o sin_n and_o transgression_n commit_v against_o the_o law_n and_o majesty_n of_o heaven_n be_v all_o lay_v to_o the_o score_n of_o christ_n by_o god_n the_o father_n and_o by_o he_o as_o my_o vademony_n and_o surety_n bear_v and_o satisfy_v for_o 3._o he_o assure_v i_o that_o the_o debt_n which_o i_o have_v contract_v both_o in_o adam_n my_o natural_a and_o faederal_n head_n and_o in_o my_o own_o person_n be_v full_o pay_v and_o actual_o discharge_v by_o my_o sponsor_n and_o surety_n christ_n by_o his_o obey_v and_o keep_v the_o law_n perfect_o for_o i_o and_o his_o bear_n and_o undergo_a in_o my_o nature_n the_o curse_n and_o wrath_n of_o god_n to_o which_o by_o sin_n i_o become_v obnoxious_a 4._o he_o assure_v i_o that_o god_n the_o father_n be_v full_o satisfy_v with_o that_o obedience_n active_a and_o passive_a of_o his_o own_o son_n and_o that_o it_o be_v for_o the_o worth_n and_o merit_n of_o that_o obedience_n that_o god_n justify_v and_o accept_v as_o please_a to_o he_o both_v i_o and_o the_o rest_n of_o his_o elect_n for_o who_o alone_o that_o obedience_n be_v perform_v 5._o he_o assure_v i_o that_o all_o my_o sin_n how_o many_o and_o great_a soever_o be_v frank_o and_o free_o forgive_v and_o pardon_v as_o if_o they_o have_v never_o be_v commit_v and_o that_o not_o for_o any_o act_n do_v by_o i_o whether_o believe_v on_o christ_n or_o repent_v for_o sin_n nor_o yet_o for_o the_o sorrow_n and_o misery_n i_o undergo_v while_n under_o the_o spirit_n of_o bondage_n or_o for_o any_o service_n to_o which_o i_o shall_v be_v call_v while_o in_o a_o militant_a state_n but_o for_o his_o own_o name_n and_o glory_n sake_n and_o on_o the_o account_n of_o what_o his_o son_n my_o mediator_n and_o surety_n have_v do_v and_o suffer_v in_o my_o behalf_n 6._o he_o assure_v i_o that_o god_n the_o father_n love_v i_o with_o a_o real_a and_o a_o endear_v love_n before_o i_o be_v call_v out_o of_o a_o state_n of_o nature_n and_o that_o the_o reason_n why_o he_o handle_v i_o so_o rough_o by_o the_o spirit_n of_o bondage_n be_v not_o because_o he_o hate_v i_o as_o the_o devil_n and_o carnal_a reason_n suggest_v or_o that_o he_o may_v in_o any_o measure_n satisfy_v his_o vindicative_a justice_n for_o my_o sin_n that_o be_v do_v long_a before_o i_o have_v a_o personal_a be_v but_o that_o he_o may_v make_v i_o the_o more_o sensible_a how_o hateful_a sin_n be_v to_o he_o be_v so_o contrary_a to_o his_o pure_a spotless_a and_o bless_a nature_n and_o so_o repugnant_a and_o contradictory_n to_o his_o holy_a just_a and_o most_o righteous_a law_n as_o also_o so_o destructive_a to_o his_o elect_n who_o he_o so_o dear_o love_v also_o that_o i_o may_v know_v and_o become_v for_o ever_o sensible_a how_o unspeakable_o wretched_a and_o deplorable_a that_o state_n and_o condition_n be_v into_o which_o by_o sin_n man_n have_v bring_v himself_o and_o out_o of_o which_o no_o create_a power_n can_v possible_o save_v and_o deliver_v he_o that_o i_o may_v for_o ever_o hate_v and_o loath_a sin_n as_o the_o worst_a of_o evil_n and_o become_v for_o ever_o sensible_a of_o the_o greatness_n goodness_n love_n mercy_n wisdom_n and_o the_o unconceivable_a and_o infinite_a all-sufficiency_n of_o the_o glorious_a and_o tremendous_a jehovah_n father_n son_n and_o bless_a spirit_n who_o himself_n without_o the_o counsel_n or_o help_v of_o creature_n have_v contrive_v and_o find_v out_o such_o a_o way_n of_o restore_a to_o his_o lose_a favour_n his_o elect_n and_o choose_v in_o christ_n as_o neither_o they_o themselves_o nor_o the_o angel_n can_v ever_o think_v of_o and_o final_o that_o by_o his_o so_o sharp_o handle_v i_o way_n may_v be_v make_v into_o my_o soul_n for_o the_o manifestation_n of_o his_o great_a and_o unexpressible_a love_n wherewith_o he_o love_v i_o in_o christ_n to_o enter_v and_o make_v its_o abide_v for_o ever_o and_o that_o from_o the_o experience_n i_o have_v now_o get_v both_o by_o god_n wound_v i_o by_o the_o spirit_n of_o bondage_n and_o his_o heal_n and_o comfort_v i_o by_o the_o spirit_n of_o adoption_n i_o may_v be_v fit_v to_o speak_v experimental_o both_o to_o the_o terrify_n and_o awaken_n secure_v and_o presumptuous_a sinner_n as_o also_o to_o heal_n and_o comfort_n instrumental_o poor_a wound_v and_o bleed_a sinner_n when_o sink_v into_o those_o depth_n of_o despondency_n and_o despair_n out_o of_o which_o the_o outstretched_n arm_n of_o god_n grace_n and_o almightiness_n have_v deliver_v and_o rescue_v poor_a sinful_a nothing_n i_o 7._o he_o assure_v i_o that_o i_o be_o now_o in_o a_o justify_v sanctify_a and_o adopt_a state_n the_o lose_a image_n of_o god_n be_v by_o his_o sanctify_a operation_n recover_v in_o my_o soul_n in_o measure_n 8._o he_o assure_v i_o that_o i_o shall_v be_v make_v to_o persevere_v and_o hold_v out_o in_o a_o state_n of_o grace_n and_o that_o i_o shall_v be_v continue_v in_o the_o love_n and_o favour_n of_o god_n for_o ever_o and_o ever_o in_o despite_n of_o all_o that_o the_o power_n of_o darkness_n can_v contrive_v or_o act_n against_o i_o 9_o he_o assure_v i_o that_o the_o eye_n of_o divine_a providence_n shall_v be_v everlasting_o fix_v on_o i_o and_o the_o right_a hand_n of_o god_n righteousness_n everlasting_o keep_v under_o i_o for_o my_o security_n from_o be_v in_o danger_n at_o any_o time_n of_o final_o miscarry_v or_o perish_v 10._o he_o assure_v i_o that_o the_o very_a indwelling_a corruption_n in_o my_o nature_n and_o whatever_a fall_n or_o miscarriage_n which_o shall_v at_o any_o time_n be_v occasion_v thereby_o in_o my_o life_n and_o conversation_n shall_v with_o all_o the_o affliction_n attend_v i_o for_o the_o say_a miscarriage_n most_o certain_o and_o infallible_o work_v for_o my_o eternal_a good_a and_o welfare_n whatever_o i_o myself_o or_o other_o shall_v judge_v to_o the_o contrary_a 11._o he_o assure_v i_o that_o i_o shall_v meet_v with_o great_a opposition_n and_o tribulation_n in_o the_o world_n but_o that_o all_o my_o enemy_n shall_v find_v they_o labour_v in_o vain_a for_o that_o god_n be_v on_o my_o side_n to_o take_v my_o part_n against_o they_o and_o who_o will_v most_o certain_o crown_v all_o my_o straits_n and_o trouble_n with_o a_o happy_a success_n 12._o he_o assure_v i_o that_o god_n special_a presence_n shall_v be_v so_o with_o i_o in_o every_o change_n of_o condition_n in_o this_o world_n as_o that_o nothing_o shall_v harm_v or_o spoil_v i_o yea_o that_o death_n it_o self_n the_o last_o enemy_n of_o nature_n shall_v neither_o terrify_v nor_o hurt_v i_o the_o mortal_a sting_n thereof_o be_v by_o the_o death_n of_o my_o redeemer_n unstung_a and_o divest_v of_o its_o power_n to_o harm_v i_o or_o any_o of_o christ_n redeem_a one_o these_o particular_n discover_v and_o set_v home_o by_o the_o holy_a ghost_n on_o my_o tremble_v pant_v soul_n he_o work_v i_o powerful_o to_o a_o believe_v each_o particular_a with_o application_n to_o myself_o i_o be_v immediate_o surprise_v with_o a_o more_o astonish_a and_o overcome_a rapture_n of_o inexpressible_a joy_n than_o before_o i_o have_v clear_a manifestation_n of_o the_o love_n of_o god_n to_o i_o in_o particular_a and_o of_o the_o great_a thing_n do_v and_o prepare_v for_o i_o to_o make_v i_o everlasting_o happy_a in_o the_o behold_v and_o enjoy_v himself_o as_o my_o god_n and_o my_o father_n and_o portion_n in_o christ_n for_o ever_o according_a to_o the_o unconditionate_n free_a covenant_n of_o his_o own_o grace_n make_v and_o establsh_v in_o and_o with_o christ_n his_o son_n in_o the_o behalf_n of_o i_o and_o the_o rest_n of_o his_o elect._n no_o soon_o do_v i_o look_v up_o to_o god_n and_o behold_v his_o reconcile_v face_n smile_v on_o i_o in_o the_o face_n of_o jesus_n his_o son_n but_o i_o feel_v such_o inward_a soul_n inebriate_v joy_n as_o i_o very_o think_v will_v cause_v my_o very_a soul_n to_o fly_v out_o of_o my_o body_n and_o my_o body_n to_o burst_v in_o sunder_o the_o hardness_n of_o my_o heart_n under_o which_o i_o labour_v all_o the_o time_n of_o my_o bondage_n state_n and_o which_o i_o sensible_o feel_v to_o grow_v and_o increase_v as_o i_o call_v to_o remembrance_n the_o many_o folly_n of_o youth_n and_o the_o holy_a law_n of_o god_n whereof_o those_o folly_n be_v so_o many_o breach_n each_o folly_n deserve_v if_o it_o be_v possible_a a_o thousand_o damnation_n be_v melt_v and_o thaw_v like_o a_o
twine_n thread_n over_o hell_n mouth_n roar_v out_o as_o if_o my_o bowel_n have_v burst_v out_o of_o my_o body_n cry_v with_o great_a and_o unutterable_a groan_n and_o tear_n my_o good_a lord_n dear_a my_o lord_n i_o be_o afraid_a i_o be_o a_o undo_v creature_n i_o be_o a_o damn_a man_n there_o be_v no_o mercy_n for_o i_o my_o lord_n perceive_v by_o my_o look_n and_o speech_n that_o i_o be_v in_o good_a earnest_n wound_v with_o tear_n in_o his_o eye_n and_o with_o the_o great_a concernedness_n for_o i_o begin_v to_o play_v the_o spiritual_a physician_n ask_v i_o with_o great_a earnestness_n what_o gross_a and_o cry_v sin_n as_o adultery_n murder_n and_o the_o like_a can_v one_o of_o my_o year_n be_v guilty_a of_o as_o to_o occasion_v my_o fall_n into_o despair_n of_o mercy_n and_o say_v my_o lord_n admit_v you_o be_v guilty_a of_o such_o and_o great_a abomination_n what_o reason_n have_v you_o for_o despair_n you_o must_v know_v that_o jesus_n christ_n the_o son_n of_o god_n come_v into_o the_o world_n not_o to_o lay_v a_o load_n on_o you_o but_o to_o take_v your_o load_n off_o you_o quote_v mat._n 11._o 29._o come_v unto_o i_o all_o you_o that_o be_v weary_a and_o heavy_a lade_v and_o i_o will_v give_v you_o rest_v with_o many_o other_o text_n of_o scripture_n and_o comfortable_a expression_n he_o labour_v to_o relieve_v and_o ease_v my_o burden_a and_o sink_a soul_n but_o all_o in_o vain_a god_n time_n of_o cure_v my_o deep_a and_o desperate_a wound_n be_v not_o come_v as_o touch_v my_o purpose_n of_o go_v into_o the_o country_n my_o lord_n tell_v i_o i_o may_v use_v my_o freedom_n but_o that_o his_o judgement_n and_o advice_n be_v that_o it_o be_v better_o for_o i_o to_o stay_v than_o to_o go_v into_o the_o country_n and_o that_o because_o of_o the_o great_a disadvantage_n which_o by_o go_v will_v accrue_v to_o i_o in_o my_o study_n my_o lord_n have_v declare_v his_o judgement_n what_o have_v be_v best_a for_o i_o to_o do_v i_o tell_v his_o lordship_n i_o be_v resolve_v to_o take_v his_o advice_n what_o ever_o come_v of_o i_o and_o according_o i_o do_v my_o sore_a continual_o raw_a day_n and_o night_n and_o cease_v not_o yea_o my_o soul_n refuse_v to_o be_v comfort_v according_a to_o that_o of_o the_o psalmist_n in_o the_o like_a case_n psal_n 77._o 2._o in_o the_o day_n of_o my_o trouble_n i_o seek_v the_o lord_n my_o sore_a run_v in_o the_o night_n and_o cease_v not_o my_o sell_v refuse_v to_o be_v comfort_v i_o seem_v to_o follow_v and_o to_o ply_v my_o study_n rather_o for_o fashion_n sake_n and_o for_o fear_v my_o lord_n and_o my_o father_n shall_v suspect_v that_o i_o love_v idleness_n rather_o than_o any_o love_n i_o have_v thereto_o or_o hope_n that_o ever_o it_o will_v turn_v to_o any_o account_n for_o good_a to_o myself_o or_o other_o when_o at_o any_o time_n i_o look_v into_o a_o book_n instead_o of_o hee_v or_o mind_v what_o be_v in_o the_o book_n the_o eye_n of_o my_o gnaw_a guilty_a conscience_n be_v fix_v on_o the_o many_o sin_n i_o have_v commit_v against_o god_n insomuch_o that_o all_o the_o sin_n of_o my_o youth_n be_v in_o all_o their_o black_a and_o aggravate_v circumstance_n lay_v and_o hold_v before_o i_o as_o a_o looking-glass_n to_o show_v i_o what_o a_o monstrous_a sinner_n i_o be_v according_a to_o that_o of_o david_n psal_n 51._o 3._o for_o i_o acknowledge_v my_o transgression_n and_o my_o sin_n be_v ever_o before_o i_o endless_a be_v the_o toss_n and_o rowlings_n of_o my_o weary_a soul_n from_o one_o sad_a confusion_n and_o despair_a thought_n to_o another_o innumerable_a almost_o be_v the_o sorry_a prayer_n such_o as_o they_o be_v and_o other_o duty_n which_o i_o daily_o perform_v to_o keep_v and_o relieve_v my_o despair_v soul_n with_o but_o all_o in_o vain_a which_o cause_v i_o to_o conclude_v that_o i_o have_v be_v much_o want_v in_o the_o trade_n of_o work_n and_o that_o have_v i_o not_o be_v so_o i_o may_v have_v be_v acquaint_v with_o peace_n and_o comfort_n before_o now_o to_o the_o trade_n of_o do_v i_o again_o address_v myself_o resolve_v not_o to_o omit_v or_o leave_v undo_v any_o thing_n which_o i_o understand_v by_o read_v or_o hear_v to_o be_v matter_n of_o duty_n pray_v understand_v by_o the_o book_n for_o i_o know_v no_o better_a read_v fast_v and_o attend_v the_o most_o lively_a preacher_n frequent_v sacrament_n give_v alm_n to_o the_o poor_a of_o what_o money_n my_o lord_n and_o other_o relation_n hand_v out_o to_o i_o that_o place_n in_o dan._n 4._o 7._o be_v oft_o in_o my_o thought_n according_a to_o which_o i_o give_v away_o whatever_o i_o get_v yea_o so_o addict_v to_o relieve_v the_o poor_a and_o needy_a be_v i_o that_o i_o will_v give_v away_o my_o very_a apparel_n when_o i_o have_v no_o money_n and_o all_o this_o from_o a_o pharisaical_a and_o superstitious_a conceit_n that_o by_o those_o act_n of_o duty_n and_o service_n i_o shall_v recompense_n god_n for_o those_o sin_n which_o like_o a_o millstone_n on_o the_o back_n of_o a_o man_n be_v sink_v my_o soul_n into_o the_o gulf_n of_o desperation_n i_o do_v abound_v more_o and_o more_o in_o strict_a and_o circumspect_a walk_v according_a to_o do_v and_o live_v the_o condition_n and_o tenure_n of_o the_o first_o covenant_n of_o work_n under_o which_o i_o be_v labour_v for_o life_n the_o more_o i_o wrought_v at_o the_o trade_n of_o duty_n the_o further_o i_o find_v myself_o from_o peace_n which_o do_v cause_v i_o to_o conclude_v that_o my_o case_n be_v certain_o desperate_a and_o that_o it_o be_v peculiar_o my_o own_o and_o that_o none_o that_o belong_v to_o god_n be_v ever_o in_o such_o a_o condition_n as_o i_o find_v myself_o to_o be_v in_o i_o then_o renew_v my_o old_a practice_n of_o go_v to_o minister_n acquaint_v they_o with_o the_o deplorable_a and_o wretched_a state_n and_o condition_n i_o be_v in_o and_o earnest_o beg_v their_o advice_n and_o council_n what_o one_o in_o my_o sad_a circumstance_n have_v best_a to_o do_v in_o order_n if_o it_o be_v possible_a to_o escape_v eternal_a damnation_n oh_o that_o kill_a word_n damnation_n when_o ever_o i_o hear_v read_v or_o think_v of_o it_o how_o do_v it_o rack_n and_o torment_v my_o spirit_n as_o fear_v it_o will_v be_v my_o portion_n for_o ever_o as_o the_o principle_n from_o which_o i_o act_v in_o order_n to_o heal_v and_o cure_v be_v do_v and_o live_v so_o those_o spiritual_a physician_n to_o who_o i_o address_v myself_o for_o council_n and_o comfort_n in_o this_o despair_n of_o soul_n be_v as_o ignorant_a in_o the_o mystery_n of_o the_o new_a birth_n as_o ever_o be_v nicodemus_n joh._n 3._o 4._o they_o put_v i_o on_o do_v those_o duty_n in_o and_o about_o which_o i_o have_v labour_v before_o even_o to_o weariness_n the_o name_n of_o those_o dignitaries_n of_o the_o church_n to_o who_o i_o apply_v myself_o together_o with_o what_o their_o say_n be_v be_v too_o tedious_a to_o relate_v and_o therefore_o i_o here_o pass_v they_o by_o only_o i_o think_v fit_a to_o acquaint_v the_o reader_n with_o the_o great_a and_o superlative_a ingenuity_n and_o dexterous_a skilfulness_n in_o heal_v a_o sinsick_a soul_n which_o one_o of_o they_o above_o the_o rest_n have_v attain_v to_o to_o his_o everlasting_a fame_n be_v it_o speak_v the_o thing_n be_v thus_o after_o i_o have_v acquaint_v the_o bishop_n for_o of_o no_o low_a a_o degree_n be_v he_o with_o the_o sad_a and_o lamentable_a condition_n my_o soul_n be_v in_o but_o he_o forthwith_o exhort_v i_o to_o get_v a_o book_n style_v the_o whole_a duty_n of_o man_n and_o when_o i_o have_v get_v it_o i_o shall_v come_v to_o he_o for_o further_a instruction_n the_o book_n i_o forthwith_o procure_v and_o to_o his_o lord_n bishop_n i_o repair_v who_o find_v that_o i_o have_v get_v the_o book_n take_v it_o out_o of_o my_o hand_n and_o turn_v to_o a_o prayer_n appoint_v for_o one_o of_o the_o night_n in_o the_o week_n with_o great_a earnestness_n charge_v i_o that_o when_o i_o be_v ready_a to_o go_v to_o bed_n that_o i_o be_v sure_a to_o kneel_v down_o by_o my_o bedside_n and_o say_v that_o prayer_n the_o which_o be_v do_v according_a to_o his_o lordship_n direction_n but_o to_o how_o great_a purpose_n i_o leave_v the_o judicious_a and_o experience_a christian_a to_o judge_n have_v thus_o apply_v myself_o to_o seven_o or_o eight_o of_o the_o able_a and_o most_o fame_a of_o the_o father_n and_o dignitaries_n of_o the_o church_n of_o england_n then_o in_o dublin_n and_o find_v by_o woeful_a and_o sad_a experience_n how_o little_a they_o understand_v my_o case_n and_o how_o vast_o short_a they_o prove_v in_o help_v i_o in_o my_o extremity_n i_o conclude_v my_o
make_v to_o a_o window_n look_v into_o a_o pleasant_a garden_n i_o lean_v on_o the_o window_n with_o my_o elbow_n and_o so_o bear_v up_o my_o body_n from_o fall_v which_o otherwise_o have_v undoubted_o sink_v down_o under_o its_o present_a load_n and_o weight_n occasion_v by_o that_o temptation_n remain_v for_o some_o little_a space_n in_o a_o horrible_a tremble_v and_o amaze_a consternation_n of_o spirit_n i_o look_v out_o into_o the_o garden_n begin_v begin_v to_o consider_v and_o reason_n with_o myself_o thus_o how_o come_v these_o tree_n to_o grow_v thus_o orderly_o in_o this_o place_n who_o rear_v or_o build_v these_o sumptuous_a building_n sure_o not_o themselves_o why_o then_o think_v i_o if_o not_o themselves_o then_o of_o necessity_n they_o must_v spring_n from_o some_o cause_n high_a and_o more_o noble_a than_o themselves_o viz_o man._n then_o from_o the_o consideration_n of_o the_o tree_n and_o the_o building_n i_o begin_v to_o exercise_n my_o thought_n about_o man_n and_o other_o live_a creature_n think_v thus_o and_o how_o come_v man_n and_o these_o other_o live_v creature_n to_o have_v a_o be_v sure_o think_v i_o they_o can_v neither_o form_n nor_o quicken_v themselves_o and_o if_o so_o then_o of_o necessity_n there_o must_v be_v some_o cause_n of_o their_o be_v and_o live_v which_o be_v high_a and_o more_o excellent_a than_o they_o which_o can_v think_v my_o reason_n be_v no_o other_o but_o a_o infinite_o glorious_a god_n and_o this_o say_v reason_n in_o i_o may_v be_v evince_v not_o only_o by_o consider_v the_o particular_n already_o mention_v but_o by_o consider_v the_o frame_n of_o the_o world_n and_o the_o strange_a preservation_n of_o all_o thing_n therein_o and_o the_o wonderful_a government_n of_o the_o second_o cause_n wherewith_o the_o world_n abound_v these_o and_o sundry_a other_o of_o the_o like_a argument_n prove_v so_o strong_a and_o nervous_a to_o convince_v i_o that_o of_o necessity_n there_o must_v be_v a_o god_n that_o that_o temptation_n vanish_v the_o devil_n perceive_v himself_o foil_v in_o this_o attempt_n he_o set_v furious_o on_o i_o with_o blasphemous_a thought_n represent_v god_n in_o such_o vile_a shape_n and_o hideous_a and_o base_a idea_n to_o my_o mind_n that_o be_v i_o to_o undergo_v the_o utmost_a of_o misery_n that_o creature_n be_v capable_a of_o inflict_v or_o i_o capable_a of_o suffer_v i_o do_v humble_o hope_v in_o christ_n strength_n i_o shall_v unspeakable_o choose_v rather_o to_o be_v rack_v to_o death_n than_o but_o once_o to_o name_v they_o so_o vile_a hideous_a and_o horrible_a be_v they_o proceed_v rather_o from_o the_o enrage_a and_o revengeful_a malice_n of_o the_o devil_n against_o the_o majesty_n of_o god_n than_o from_o the_o corruption_n and_o pravity_n of_o nature_n these_o thing_n i_o do_v but_o glance_v or_o touch_n at_o not_o from_o any_o delight_n i_o take_v in_o the_o remembrance_n of_o they_o but_o rather_o for_o the_o relief_n of_o some_o poor_a tempt_v despair_v soul_n who_o probable_o may_v be_v conflict_v with_o the_o same_o fiery_a assault_n conclude_v within_o themselves_o as_o i_o often_o do_v that_o none_o belong_v to_o god_n can_v ever_o be_v possess_v with_o such_o black_a and_o dismal_a thought_n oh_o the_o gastliness_n and_o fearful_a tremble_n oh_o the_o sweat_v and_o weariness_n of_o my_o very_a life_n which_o these_o satanical_a injection_n cause_v in_o i_o a_o sure_a and_o convince_a argument_n they_o be_v immediate_o from_o the_o devil_n and_o none_o else_o the_o sin_n flow_v from_o the_o pravity_n of_o nature_n be_v common_o rather_o please_a and_o delightful_a than_o amaze_a and_o terrify_v to_o nature_n in_o this_o sad_a condition_n i_o continue_v so_o long_o till_o my_o very_a animal_n spirit_n be_v even_o drink_v up_o and_o the_o radical_a moisture_n of_o my_o body_n waste_v by_o that_o burn_a inflammation_n which_o i_o sensible_o feel_v invade_v and_o possess_v my_o body_n the_o pitiful_a and_o deplorable_a state_n i_o be_v in_o both_o in_o respect_n of_o my_o soul_n which_o i_o find_v be_v invade_v by_o the_o terror_n of_o god_n for_o the_o breach_n of_o his_o royal_a law_n and_o as_o i_o very_o conclude_v give_v up_o to_o satan_n by_o god_n in_o a_o judicial_a way_n to_o be_v possess_v by_o he_o as_o also_o in_o respect_n of_o my_o body_n in_o which_o the_o sad_a symptom_n of_o my_o approach_a doom_n do_v as_o i_o very_o think_v hourly_o appear_v such_o as_o the_o grow_a and_o increase_n of_o that_o burn_a inflammation_n already_o mention_v decay_n of_o my_o sight_n which_o necessitate_v the_o use_n of_o spectacle_n at_o the_o age_n of_o 25_o year_n the_o loss_n of_o my_o smell_a and_o taste_v for_o about_o three_o month_n with_o a_o great_a decay_n of_o my_o hear_v so_o ghastly_a a_o sight_n be_v i_o to_o behold_v that_o i_o become_v a_o spectacle_n of_o wonderment_n to_o all_o the_o family_n where_o i_o live_v some_o conclude_v that_o i_o be_v starve_v by_o my_o frequent_a fast_n other_o very_o conclude_v that_o spirit_n haunt_v i_o which_o cause_v in_o i_o such_o ghastly_a look_n and_o cause_v my_o body_n to_o bend_v and_o bow_n towards_o crookedness_n so_o heavy_a and_o insupportable_a be_v the_o load_n i_o lay_v under_o chap._n iu._n discover_v how_o the_o spirit_n of_o adoption_n succeed_v the_o spirit_n of_o bondage_n and_o what_o glorious_a effect_n ensue_v thereupon_o the_o last_o day_n of_o my_o bondage_n state_n when_o i_o look_v for_o nothing_o but_o a_o go_v down_o to_o the_o nethermost_a hell_n in_o the_o unconceivable_a horror_n and_o amaze_a consternation_n of_o my_o spirit_n there_o be_v a_o place_n of_o scripture_n which_o run_v in_o my_o thought_n from_o morning_n to_o bedtime_n the_o place_n of_o scripture_n be_v esa_n 43._o 25._o i_o even_o i_o be_o he_o that_o blot_v out_o thy_o transgression_n for_o my_o own_o sake_n and_o will_v not_o remember_v thy_o sin_n this_o scripture_n get_v such_o hold_n of_o my_o mind_n and_o thought_n that_o albeit_o i_o no_o more_o understand_v the_o sense_n or_o meaning_n of_o the_o spirit_n of_o god_n in_o it_o or_o how_o it_o come_v into_o my_o mind_n that_o day_n than_o a_o pagan_a that_o never_o know_v any_o thing_n of_o the_o true_a god_n i_o can_v not_o possible_o keep_v my_o thought_n fix_v on_o any_o thing_n all_o the_o day_n but_o on_o that_o very_a scripture_n roll_v and_o tumble_a the_o bare_a word_n in_o my_o thought_n incessant_o thus_o i_o even_o i_o be_o he_o that_o blot_v out_o thy_o transgression_n for_o my_o own_o sake_n and_o will_v not_o rememberthy_n sin_n ay_o even_o i_o be_o he_o that_o blot_v out_o thy_o transgression_n for_o my_o own_o sake_n and_o will_v not_o remember_v thy_o sin_n and_o so_o all_o the_o day_n till_o bedtime_n i_o be_v somewhat_o astonish_v at_o the_o change_n which_o i_o find_v in_o myself_o in_o reference_n to_o my_o thought_n about_o the_o scripture_n for_o whereas_o before_o during_o the_o state_n of_o my_o spiritual_a bondage_n which_o be_v between_o three_o and_o four_o year_n i_o can_v think_v of_o no_o scripture_n but_o such_o as_o treat_v of_o damnation_n of_o fall_v away_o and_o of_o sin_v against_o the_o holy_a ghost_n always_o apply_v the_o same_o to_o myself_o desperate_o conclude_v that_o my_o own_o doom_n be_v in_o those_o terrible_a scripture_n set_v forth_o and_o discover_v i_o that_o day_n forget_v those_o terrify_a scripture_n and_o can_v as_o i_o say_v think_v of_o nothing_o but_o that_o place_n in_o esa_n 43._o 25_o above_o mention_v and_o that_o without_o the_o least_o apprehension_n what_o the_o sense_n of_o the_o spirit_n in_o these_o word_n shall_v be_v or_o how_o or_o wherefore_o that_o scripture_n shall_v make_v such_o a_o forceable_a entry_n on_o my_o mind_n and_o thought_n as_o to_o eject_v and_o banish_v from_o my_o thought_n and_o remembrance_n the_o other_o terrible_a scripture_n by_o the_o wrong_a application_n of_o which_o my_o state_n and_o condition_n become_v as_o to_o my_o own_o sense_n and_o thought_n equal_a to_o that_o of_o the_o damn_a at_o night_n after_o my_o lord_n have_v supp_v and_o while_o the_o inferior_a of_o the_o family_n be_v actual_o at_o supper_n i_o steal_v my_o opportunity_n resolve_v in_o myself_o that_o none_o shall_v know_v where_o i_o be_v or_o suspect_v what_o i_o be_v about_o up_o stair_n i_o get_v without_o a_o candle_n the_o night_n be_v moonshine_a i_o be_v all_o of_o a_o sweat_n and_o a_o strange_a horror_n fall_v on_o i_o occasion_v by_o the_o conceit_n and_o apprehension_n i_o have_v that_o the_o devil_n accompany_v i_o as_o a_o man_n up_o stair_n who_o step_n along_o with_o i_o i_o strong_o imagine_v i_o hear_v which_o cause_v i_o to_o keep_v my_o eye_n close_v for_o fear_v i_o shall_v see_v the_o devil_n in_o a_o visible_a shape_n while_o i_o be_v unlock_v