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as_o so_o much_o fire_n for_o the_o inflame_a it_o in_o the_o love_n of_o our_o lord_n and_o the_o soul_n do_v more_o proper_o suffer_v here_o then_o act_n and_o now_o the_o saint_n give_v great_a warning_n that_o people_n be_v not_o so_o foolish_a as_o to_o offer_v at_o these_o thing_n of_o themselves_o a_o great_a truth_n truth_n a_o dangerous_a &_o proud_n foolish_a error_n error_n observe_v the_o generous_a way_n of_o this_o great_a saint_n saint_n note_v this_o very_a well_o well_o a_o great_a praise_n of_o a_o large_a hart_n hart_n how_o saint_n be_v to_o be_v imitate_v &_o how_o admire_v admire_v note_v this_o well_o well_o a_o necessary_a advice_n advice_n our_o daily_a bread_n bread_n a_o description_n of_o a_o good_a director_n in_o matter_n of_o spirit_n spirit_n note_n note_n how_o the_o will_n be_v to_o carry_v itself_o to_o the_o other_o faculty_n of_o the_o mind_n mind_n the_o blessing_n of_o quiet_a prayer_n prayer_n note_n note_n note_n note_n how_o the_o soul_n be_v 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vision_n believe_v and_o consider_v this_o most_o certain_a truth_n truth_n a_o doubt_n which_o can_v easy_o be_v solue_v solue_v she_o grow_n now_o to_o make_v serious_a enquiry_n after_o a_o good_a director_n director_n the_o only_a excellent_a course_n course_n this_o holy_a man_n enter_v often_o into_o the_o story_n of_o our_o saint_n saint_n this_o be_v no_o improbable_a opinion_n though_o it_o be_v no_o true_a one_o one_o so_o good_a a_o begin_n be_v almost_o a_o kind_n of_o perfect_v the_o work_n work_n the_o saint_n begann_v here_o to_o be_v happy_a happy_a this_o be_v a_o wise_a man_n &_o likely_a to_o work_n wonder_v upon_o a_o soul_n soul_n he_o lose_v nothing_o by_o leave_v to_o be_v a_o duke_n for_o god_n sake_n sake_n this_o must_v needs_o have_v be_v a_o holy_a and_o a_o wise_a man_n man_n a_o little_a of_o this_o go_v far_o far_o so_o true_a it_o be_v that_o god_n be_v god_n god_n the_o mighty_a force_n and_o power_n of_o any_o one_o supernatural_a word_n word_n the_o 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false_a and_o between_v a_o true_a vision_n and_o a_o fancy_n fancy_n a_o plain_a demonstration_n demonstration_n in_o order_n to_o the_o guide_v of_o other_o a_o director_n may_v easy_o have_v too_o mean_a a_o optnion_n of_o himself_o himself_o this_o saint_n be_v huge_o vex_v by_o the_o insatisfaction_n which_o she_o receive_v from_o many_o spiritual_a man_n man_n this_o be_v very_o fit_a to_o be_v know_v know_v this_o be_v a_o true_a fortiter_fw-la sed_fw-la suaviter_fw-la suaviter_fw-la this_o saint_n be_v most_o strange_o familiar_o and_o supernatural_o visit_v by_o our_o b_o lord_n lord_n a_o strange_a task_n which_o be_v put_v even_o by_o holy_a man_n upon_o this_o saint_n saint_n the_o more_o she_o be_v discountenance_v even_o by_o good_a man_n so_o much_o the_o more_o high_o be_v she_o favour_v by_o our_o lord_n lord_n a_o rare_a comparison_n comparison_n still_o more_o &_o more_o excellent_a comparison_n comparison_n a_o excellent_a &_o most_o necessary_a advice_n advice_n a_o strange_a mixture_n of_o affection_n but_o such_o as_o god_n know_v how_o to_o give_v give_v this_o grief_n be_v after_o the_o rate_n of_o the_o love_n love_n a_o very_a safe_a and_o wise_a way_n of_o proceed_v proceed_v this_o be_v a_o most_o certain_a truth_n truth_n here_o follow_v a_o whole_a world_n of_o sad_a temptation_n &_o trouble_n trouble_n the_o difference_n betweme_v divine_a and_o diabolical_a grief_n of_o mind_n mind_n the_o way_n &_o manner_n of_o a_o great_a desolation_n desolation_n a_o pretty_a humour_n humour_n a_o happy_a state_n state_n she_o make_v along_o discourse_n of_o the_o diabolical_a temptation_n &_o trouble_n to_o which_o she_o be_v subject_a subject_a the_o excellency_n of_o holy_a water_n water_n a_o great_a and_o just_a consolation_n consolation_n a_o question_n worthy_a of_o he_o that_o ask_v it_o it_o this_o be_v a_o very_a great_a truth_n but_o the_o accent_n must_v be_v put_v upon_o the_o word_n indeed_o indeed_o and_o though_o she_o shall_v have_v continue_v to_o ask_v it_o i_o dare_v say_v our_o lord_n will_v not_o have_v grant_v it_o it_o a_o must_v certain_a truth_n truth_n a_o wise_a &_o solid_a truth_n truth_n exercise_n of_o prayer_n and_o love_n of_o honour_n agree_v not_o well_o together_o together_o this_o be_v not_o to_o be_v literal_o understand_v for_o the_o devil_n can_v prepare_v no_o place_n for_o a_o soul_n in_o hell_n but_o by_o the_o decree_n of_o almighty_a god_n upon_o the_o particular_a judgement_n give_v at_o the_o death_n of_o the_o party_n party_n the_o sin_n of_o ingratitude_n discorrespondence_n and_o inordinate_a affection_n to_o creature_n which_o she_o do_v commit_v and_o the_o great_a and_o mortal_a sin_n which_o she_o will_v most_o certain_o have_v commit_v if_o the_o mercy_n of_o our_o bless_a lord_n have_v not_o prevent_v and_o withhold_v she_o she_o hell_n be_v represent_v to_o she_o in_o spirit_n after_o a_o most_o subtle_a manner_n and_o it_o be_v show_v to_o she_o and_o describe_v by_o she_o in_o such_o sort_n as_o that_o such_o creature_n may_v be_v capable_a thereof_o as_o be_v endue_v not_o only_o with_o mind_n but_o with_o body_n body_n the_o excellent_a fruit_n which_o this_o saint_n do_v gather_v from_o this_o great_a favour_n which_o seem_v to_o be_v the_o sole_a cause_n why_o our_o b._n lord_n be_v please_v to_o impair_v this_o favour_n favour_n the_o great_a benefit_n of_o this_o favour_n favour_n vide_fw-la supra_fw-la fol_n 471._o 471._o a_o sweet_a effect_n of_o a_o sad_a cause_n cause_n a_o sad_a and_o strange_a proceed_n proceed_n how_o one_o suspicion_n u._fw-mi wont_a to_o three_o itself_o close_o upon_o another_o another_o a_o holy_a &_o wise_a man_n man_n all_o these_o thing_n and_o the_o like_a as_o namely_o dart_n or_o chain_n or_o crown_n or_o jewel_n etc._n etc._n be_v not_o to_o be_v understoood_a after_o a_o gross_a &_o material_a way_n but_o yet_o that_o real_o they_o have_v truth_n in_o their_o be_v represent_v distinct_o &_o clear_o to_o the_o imagination_n of_o the_o party_n and_o they_o chief_o serve_v as_o testimony_n &_o sign_n of_o those_o interior_a grace_n &_o virtue_n which_o use_v to_o be_v imprint_v upon_o soul_n at_o those_o very_a time_n by_o the_o mercy_n of_o our_o b._n lord_n lord_n she_o mean_v herself_o herself_o this_o saint_n be_v a_o excellent_a person_n to_o make_v a_o friend_n of_o of_o a_o very_a strange_a demonstration_n of_o a_o most_o civil_a noble_a and_o friendly_a hart_n hart_n our_o bless_a lord_n be_v still_o as_o good_a as_o his_o word_n word_n the_o great_a charity_n &_o humility_n of_o the_o saint_n saint_n how_o devout_a this_o dear_a saint_n be_v be_v they_o be_v very_o noble_a though_o they_o be_v poor_a poor_a the_o devil_n be_v still_o himself_o himself_o this_o be_v such_o a_o kind_n of_o world_n as_o wherein_o thing_n will_v ever_o go_v thus_o thus_o a_o true_a answer_n to_o all_o the_o devil_n objection_n objection_n note_v the_o description_n which_o the_o saint_n make_v here_o of_o her_o religious_a religious_a this_o fast_a of_o the_o order_n be_v not_o so_o strict_a and_o rigorous_a as_o that_o of_o the_o church_n but_o be_v rather_o a_o forbearance_n of_o half_a the_o meal_n than_o a_o fast_a fast_a this_o point_n of_o have_v so_o very_a few_o in_o a_o monastery_n be_v partly_o mean_v for_o they_o who_o be_v to_o live_v in_o any_o place_n on_o alm_n and_o partly_o because_o the_o saint_n have_v see_v some_o disorder_n by_o have_v too_o many_o religious_a in_o other_o house_n and_o yet_o the_o saint_n herself_o come_v afterward_o to_o admit_v of_o twenty_o in_o stead_n of_o twelue_v and_o will_v perhaps_o have_v admit_v more_o if_o she_o have_v find_v reason_n for_o it_o it_o she_o inveigh_v with_o much_o reason_n against_o vain_a compliment_n and_o especial_o among_o religious_a people_n people_n a_o excellent_a &_o most_o useful_a document_n document_n a_o true_a noble_a &_o most_o generous_a hart_n hart_n great_a effect_n of_o a_o vision_n
teresa_n and_o of_o those_o happy_a daughter_n of_o she_o who_o already_o begin_v to_o live_v under_o her_o rule_n and_o these_o be_v his_o very_a word_n i_o never_o see_v nor_o know_v the_o bless_a mother_n teresa_n of_o jesus_n while_o yet_o she_o be_v in_o this_o world_n but_o now_o when_o she_o live_v in_o heaven_n i_o know_v she_o and_o do_v in_o effect_n continual_o see_v she_o in_o two_o live_a image_n or_o picture_n of_o herself_o which_o she_o leave_v among_o we_o and_o those_o be_v her_o daughter_n &_o her_o book_n which_o serve_v also_o in_o my_o opinion_n for_o very_o faithful_a witness_n and_o superior_a to_o all_o kind_n of_o exception_n concern_v the_o proof_n of_o her_o great_a virtue_n for_o if_o i_o have_v but_o see_v the_o figure_n and_o feature_n of_o her_o face_n they_o will_v have_v inform_v i_o but_o of_o that_o part_n of_o her_o body_n and_o if_o i_o have_v hear_v she_o speak_v and_o discourse_n that_o may_v also_o have_v declare_v some_o part_n of_o the_o worth_a of_o her_o mind_n but_o the_o first_o will_v have_v be_v common_a to_o other_o &_o the_o second_o may_v have_v be_v subject_a to_o error_n to_o which_o these_o other_o be_v not_o subject_a in_o which_o i_o see_v she_o now_o for_o as_o solomon_n say_v a_o man_n may_v be_v know_v by_o his_o child_n and_o the_o fruit_n which_o any_o one_o leaf_n behind_o he_o when_o he_o go_v out_o of_o the_o world_n be_v the_o true_a testimony_n of_o the_o life_n which_o he_o lead_v when_o he_o be_v here_o and_o so_o we_o see_v that_o christ_n our_o lord_n himself_o when_o he_o be_v please_v in_o the_o holy_a gospel_n to_o put_v a_o difference_n between_o the_o good_a and_o the_o bad_a address_n man_n to_o consider_v their_o fruit_n for_o by_o their_o fruit_n say_v he_o you_o shall_v know_v they_o so_o that_o the_o virtue_n and_o sanctity_n of_o mother_n teresa_n which_o may_v perhaps_o have_v seem_v questionable_a &_o doubtful_a to_o i_o when_o i_o shall_v have_v see_v she_o here_o the_o same_o i_o hold_v to_o be_v both_o very_a evident_a and_o very_o certain_a whilst_o now_o i_o see_v she_o not_o by_o the_o view_n which_o i_o have_v of_o she_o both_o in_o her_o daughter_n &_o in_o those_o book_n which_o she_o have_v leave_v behind_o she_o for_o by_o the_o virtue_n which_o shine_v so_o bright_o in_o all_o those_o daughter_n of_o she_o we_o come_v to_o know_v without_o any_o error_n at_o all_o the_o great_a abundance_n of_o grace_n which_o it_o please_v almighty_a god_n to_o vouchsafe_v to_o she_o who_o he_o will_v ordain_v to_o be_v the_o mother_n of_o this_o new_a miracle_n and_o real_o that_o deserve_v to_o be_v hold_v for_o no_o less_o than_o a_o miracle_n which_o we_o see_v our_o bless_a lord_n to_o be_v do_v daily_o both_o in_o they_o and_o other_o by_o their_o mean_n nay_o if_o that_o must_v go_v for_o a_o miracle_n which_o happen_v beyond_o the_o natural_a course_n &_o order_n of_o thing_n there_o be_v in_o this_o particular_a so_o many_o of_o they_o which_o be_v both_o new_a and_o extraordinary_a as_o that_o to_o call_v they_o but_o a_o miracle_n be_v to_o say_v little_a for_o they_o be_v rather_o a_o assembly_n and_o heap_n of_o miracle_n for_o it_o be_v one_o miracle_n that_o a_o single_a woman_n alone_o shall_v have_v reduce_v a_o order_n both_o of_o man_n &_o woman_n to_o perfection_n and_o a_o second_o that_o the_o perfection_n to_o which_o she_o bring_v they_o be_v so_o great_a and_o high_a and_o a_o three_o to_o find_v to_o what_o a_o huge_a increase_n it_o be_v grow_v in_o so_o very_a few_o year_n from_o so_o small_a beginning_n and_o now_o every_o one_o of_o these_o three_o be_v a_o thing_n which_o deserve_v particular_a consideration_n for_o if_o it_o belong_v not_o to_o woman_n to_o teach_v but_o to_o be_v teach_v as_o s._n paul_n affirm_v it_o grow_v instant_o to_o be_v a_o kind_n of_o miracle_n that_o a_o weak_a &_o sickly_a woman_n shall_v be_v so_o full_a of_o courage_n as_o even_o to_o undertake_v so_o great_a a_o work_n as_o 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epistle_n of_o s._n jerome_n which_o help_v i_o to_o such_o hart_n and_o courage_n as_o to_o make_v i_o resolve_v that_o i_o will_v impart_v my_o purpose_n to_o my_o father_n which_o in_o effect_n be_v even_o as_o much_o for_o i_o as_o to_o take_v the_o very_a habit_n upon_o i_o for_o i_o be_v ever_o so_o affect_v to_o maintain_v the_o point_n of_o honour_n that_o i_o think_v i_o can_v never_o have_v turn_v back_o again_o upon_o any_o term_n when_o i_o have_v first_o engage_v myself_o by_o speak_v any_o one_o word_n to_o the_o contrary_n but_o he_o love_v i_o to_o so_o strange_a a_o proportion_n that_o by_o no_o mean_n i_o can_v win_v his_o consent_n nor_o be_v the_o intercession_n of_o such_o person_n as_o i_o procure_v to_o move_v he_o in_o order_n to_o my_o end_n of_o any_o power_n at_o all_o to_o prevail_v the_o most_o that_o i_o can_v get_v at_o his_o hand_n be_v that_o when_o he_o shall_v be_v dead_a i_o may_v do_v what_o i_o list_v with_o myself_o but_o as_o for_o i_o i_o be_v 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soever_o upon_o which_o if_o it_o be_v set_v before_o i_o i_o shall_v not_o have_v venture_v to_o attempt_v for_o i_o have_v already_o good_a experience_n of_o thing_n enough_o to_o assure_v i_o that_o since_o god_n do_v help_v i_o in_o the_o beginning_n to_o resolve_v to_o do_v such_o thing_n as_o these_o which_o be_v only_o do_v for_o the_o love_n of_o god_n he_o ordain_v for_o our_o great_a merit_n afterward_o that_o our_o soul_n shall_v be_v in_o some_o trouble_n and_o terror_n at_o the_o first_o and_o the_o great_a that_o trouble_n be_v the_o great_a and_o the_o more_o savoury_a also_o will_v the_o reward_n thereof_o fall_v out_o to_o be_v if_o we_o go_v through_o with_o the_o business_n his_o majesty_n will_v also_o be_v please_v to_o recompense_v they_o high_o well_o even_o in_o this_o life_n by_o such_o way_n as_o he_o only_o who_o enjoy_v they_o can_v understand_v this_o i_o say_v i_o have_v find_v true_a by_o experience_n in_o many_o particular_n of_o great_a moment_n and_o therefore_o if_o i_o be_v a_o person_n who_o may_v be_v wish_v to_o give_v my_o opinion_n i_o will_v never_o advise_v any_o creature_n that_o when_o any_o good_a inspiration_n do_v often_o move_v and_o set_v upon_o a_o soul_n it_o shall_v give_v it_o over_o for_o fear_n of_o not_o perform_v the_o work_n for_o if_o one_o go_v on_o mere_o and_o pure_o for_o the_o only_o love_n of_o our_o lord_n there_o must_v be_v no_o fear_n at_o all_o of_o good_a success_n since_o the_o same_o lord_n be_v powerful_a enough_o to_o prevail_v in_o all_o thing_n and_o let_v he_o be_v ever_o bless_v amen_n these_o favour_n which_o thou_o have_v hitherto_o bestow_v upon_o i_o out_o of_o thy_o own_o mere_a goodness_n and_o greatness_n may_v well_o have_v be_v sufficient_a o_o thou_o my_o sovereign_a good_a and_o repose_v of_o my_o soul_n to_o draw_v i_o towards_o thou_o by_o so_o many_o wind_n and_o turn_n to_o so_o safe_a a_o way_n of_o life_n and_o to_o a_o house_n where_o there_o be_v so_o many_o servant_n 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i_o be_v curious_a about_o whatsoever_o i_o take_v in_o hand_n and_o i_o will_v needs_o think_v this_o to_o be_v virtue_n in_o i_o thongh_v yet_o this_o will_v never_o serve_v i_o for_o a_o discharge_n because_o i_o know_v well_o enough_o how_o to_o procure_v all_o those_o thing_n which_o may_v give_v i_o gust_n and_o so_o ignorance_n will_v not_o free_v i_o from_o blame_n it_o be_v a_o defect_n in_o this_o monastery_n that_o it_o have_v not_o be_v found_v in_o much_o perfection_n and_o i_o as_o be_v wicked_a enough_o go_v roundly_o on_o to_o that_o wherein_o i_o see_v there_o be_v imperfection_n but_o lay_v no_o hold_n at_o all_o upon_o the_o rest_n which_o be_v good_a there_o be_v a_o religious_a woman_n at_o that_o time_n and_o in_o that_o place_n sick_z of_o a_o very_a grievous_a infirmity_n which_o put_v she_o to_o extreme_a pain_n for_o she_o have_v certain_a ulcer_n in_o her_o body_n which_o grow_v from_o great_a obstruction_n and_o thereby_o do_v she_o discharge_v whatsoever_o she_o take_v she_o die_v quick_o of_o that_o disease_n and_o whereas_o i_o find_v that_o all_o the_o rest_n of_o our_o community_n have_v great_a apprehension_n and_o fear_v of_o the_o like_a for_o my_o part_n i_o have_v much_o envy_n at_o her_o patience_n and_o i_o beg_v of_o almighty_a god_n that_o in_o case_n i_o may_v be_v favour_v by_o he_o with_o that_o virtue_n he_o will_v send_v i_o what_o sickness_n he_o shall_v think_v fit_a and_o i_o think_v i_o fear_v no_o disease_n in_o the_o world_n for_o i_o be_v so_o bend_v and_o set_v upon_o the_o gain_n of_o eternal_a happiness_n that_o i_o resolve_v to_o compass_v it_o how_o dear_a soever_o it_o may_v cost_v nor_o yet_o be_o i_o without_o wonder_n even_o at_o this_o for_o even_o they_o i_o do_v not_o think_v that_o i_o have_v wrought_v myself_o into_o the_o love_n of_o almighty_a god_n as_o afterward_o i_o conceive_v myself_o to_o have_v it_o upon_o my_o beginning_n to_o frequent_v the_o use_n of_o prayer_n but_o only_o i_o be_v grow_v to_o have_v a_o certain_a light_n which_o show_v i_o how_o all_o thing_n which_o come_v to_o a_o end_n deserve_v little_a esteem_n and_o how_o those_o blessing_n which_o be_v eternal_a may_v be_v obtain_v be_v of_o mighty_a value_n his_o divine_a majesty_n do_v also_o hear_v i_o in_o this_o for_o before_o two_o year_n be_v expire_v i_o grow_v to_o be_v in_o such_o condition_n that_o howsoever_o my_o disease_n be_v not_o of_o that_o other_o sort_n yet_o i_o believe_v that_o one_o which_o i_o have_v for_o three_o year_n together_o be_v not_o a_o whitt_n of_o less_o trouble_n and_o torment_v to_o i_o than_o that_o other_o be_v to_o she_o as_o i_o shall_v now_o relate_v the_o time_n be_v come_v which_o i_o be_v expect_v in_o that_o place_n where_o i_o declare_v myself_o to_o remain_v with_o my_o sister_n for_o my_o better_a cure_n they_o carry_v i_o with_o care_n enough_o from_o the_o regalos_fw-la of_o my_o father_n of_o my_o sister_n and_o of_o that_o religious_a woman_n my_o friend_n who_o former_o be_v come_v away_o with_o i_o and_o indeed_o she_o love_v i_o very_o much_o and_o now_o here_o do_v the_o devil_n begin_v to_o discompose_v my_o soul_n though_o yet_o almighty_a god_n draw_v much_o good_a from_o thence_o there_o be_v a_o certain_a churchman_n reside_v in_o that_o place_n to_o which_o i_o go_v for_o cure_v of_o very_o good_a quality_n and_o understanding_n and_o he_o be_v also_o not_o unlearned_a now_o i_o begin_v to_o confess_v myself_o with_o he_o for_o i_o be_v ever_o a_o friend_n of_o learning_n but_o yet_o it_o do_v my_o soul_n much_o hurt_n to_o meet_v with_o ghostly_a father_n who_o be_v but_o indifferent_a in_o that_o kind_n because_o they_o want_v what_o ineeded_a and_o therefore_o as_o for_o i_o i_o have_v find_v by_o experience_n that_o when_o ghostly_a father_n be_v virtuous_a man_n and_o of_o holy_a conversation_n it_o be_v better_a that_o they_o have_v no_o learning_n at_o all_o then_o but_o a_o little_a because_o neither_o such_o as_o have_v none_o be_v wont_a to_o trust_v themselves_o without_o ask_v the_o opinion_n of_o more_o learned_a man_n than_o they_o be_v neither_o shall_v i_o also_o trust_v they_o and_o for_o my_o part_n i_o be_v never_o deceive_v by_o any_o solid_a learned_a man_n yea_o and_o even_o those_o other_o also_o will_v certain_o i_o think_v not_o have_v deceive_v i_o but_o only_o perhaps_o they_o err_v because_o they_o know_v no_o better_o now_o i_o think_v it_o be_v sufficient_a and_o that_o i_o be_v bind_v to_o nothing_o but_o to_o believe_v they_o when_o that_o which_o they_o teach_v i_o be_v according_a to_o the_o more_o large_a opinion_n and_o of_o more_o liberty_n for_o if_o they_o have_v be_v more_o restrain_v i_o be_o so_o wicked_a that_o i_o shall_v have_v go_v to_o other_o but_o that_o which_o be_v a_o venial_a sin_n they_o tell_v i_o be_v no_o sin_n at_o all_o and_o that_o which_o be_v a_o most_o grievous_a mortal_a sin_n they_o say_v be_v but_o venial_a this_o do_v i_o so_o much_o hurt_v that_o it_o must_v not_o go_v for_o a_o strange_a thing_n to_o hear_v i_o speak_v of_o it_o here_o for_o the_o better_a advertisement_n of_o other_o who_o i_o will_v very_o fain_o save_v from_o so_o great_a a_o mischief_n for_o i_o see_v well_o that_o in_o the_o presence_n of_o god_n this_o be_v no_o discharge_n of_o i_o from_o fault_n for_o it_o ought_v to_o have_v be_v enough_o for_o i_o that_o the_o thing_n be_v of_o themselves_o not_o good_a to_o make_v i_o preserve_v myself_o whole_o from_o they_o i_o believe_v almighty_a god_n permit_v for_o my_o sin_n that_o both_o they_o shall_v be_v deceive_v and_o deceive_v i_o as_o i_o also_o deceive_v many_o other_o by_o tell_v they_o that_o very_a thing_n which_o i_o have_v be_v tell_v i_o continue_v i_o think_v in_o this_o blindness_n more_o than_o seaventeen_o year_n till_o a_o father_n of_o s._n dominick_n order_n a_o great_a learned_a man_n unbeguil_v i_o in_o some_o thing_n and_o they_o of_o the_o society_n of_o jesus_n do_v so_o whole_o terrifye_v i_o by_o agravate_v those_o ill_a begiuning_n of_o i_o as_o i_o will_v short_o declare_v but_o now_o i_o confess_v myself_o to_o that_o other_o ecclesiastical_a person_n of_o who_o i_o be_v speak_v before_o he_o grow_v to_o affect_v i_o in_o extreme_a manner_n because_o then_o indeed_o i_o have_v little_a to_o confess_v in_o comparison_n of_o what_o occur_v afterward_o nay_o i_o have_v not_o very_o much_o from_o the_o time_n of_o my_o enter_v into_o religion_n the_o affection_n of_o this_o man_n be_v not_o ill_a but_o yet_o by_o the_o excess_n theror_n it_o grow_v to_o be_v not_o good_a he_o well_o understand_v already_o that_o i_o will_v not_o resolve_v upon_o any_o term_n to_o do_v any_o thing_n which_o be_v grievous_o offensive_a to_o almighty_a god_n and_o he_o also_o assure_v i_o of_o as_o much_o concern_v himself_o and_o so_o our_o conversation_n grow_v to_o be_v frequent_a but_o in_o those_o time_n of_o conference_n which_o we_o have_v i_o be_v so_o full_o possess_v and_o even_o swallowed-up_a by_o the_o thought_n of_o almighty_a god_n that_o the_o great_a gust_n i_o have_v be_v to_o be_v speak_v of_o he_o and_o i_o be_v then_o so_o very_o young_a it_o put_v he_o to_o a_o kind_n of_o confusion_n to_o see_v it_o and_o through_o the_o great_a affection_n which_o he_o bear_v i_o he_o begin_v to_o discover_v his_o own_o misery_n to_o i_o which_o be_v not_o small_a for_o they_o be_v then_o almost_o seven_o year_n that_o he_o have_v be_v in_o a_o very_a dangerous_a state_n by_o his_o affection_n and_o conversation_n with_o a_o certain_a woman_n of_o the_o same_o town_n when_o yet_o he_o say_v mass_n all_o the_o while_n now_o this_o be_v so_o public_a a_o thing_n that_o he_o have_v already_o lose_v his_o honour_n and_o fame_n and_o yet_o no_o body_n adventure_v to_o speak_v against_o it_o neither_o do_v i_o think_v fit_a to_o do_v it_o though_o i_o be_v much_o trouble_v to_o see_v in_o what_o case_n he_o be_v because_o i_o love_v he_o much_o for_o i_o have_v this_o part_n of_o folly_n and_o blindness_n that_o even_o here_o i_o think_v it_o fit_a to_o be_v grateful_a and_o to_o keep_v fair_a quarter_n with_o one_o who_o i_o love_v but_o curse_v be_v that_o quarter_n and_o way_n of_o proceed_v which_o extend_v itself_o so_o far_o as_o to_o be_v against_o the_o law_n of_o god_n this_o be_v a_o very_a mad_a kind_n of_o error_n which_o be_v use_v now_o so_o much_o in_o the_o world_n and_o it_o put_v i_o almost_o out_o of_o my_o wit_n to_o see_v that_o we_o shall_v owe_v all_o that_o goodness_n which_o man_n do_v we_o to_o
which_o they_o who_o be_v good_a may_v well_o enjoy_v without_o any_o disadvantage_n to_o their_o goodness_n because_o they_o owe_v no_o more_o since_o they_o do_v not_o promise_n clausure_n but_o as_o for_o i_o who_o be_o wicked_v it_o will_v certain_o have_v carry_v i_o down_o to_o hell_n unless_o our_o lord_n have_v draw_v i_o out_o of_o this_o danger_n by_o very_a many_o remedy_n and_o mean_n and_o most_o particular_a favour_n and_o so_o i_o think_v a_o monastery_n of_o woman_n with_o liberty_n expose_v they_o to_o very_o great_a hazard_n and_o rather_o appear_v in_o my_o eye_n as_o a_o way_n whereby_o they_o who_o have_v a_o mind_n to_o be_v wicked_a may_v walk_v on_o towards_o hell_n then_o as_o a_o remedy_n for_o their_o weakness_n i_o mean_v not_o this_o by_o my_o monastery_n for_o therein_o be_v so_o many_o who_o serve_v our_o lord_n so_o much_o in_o earnest_n and_o with_o so_o great_a perfection_n that_o his_o divine_a majesty_n through_o his_o goodness_n can_v fail_v of_o 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i_o remain_v so_o alter_v yea_o and_o so_o astonish_v that_o i_o intend_v to_o see_v that_o person_n no_o more_o it_o do_v i_o a_o great_a deal_n of_o hurt_n that_o i_o know_v not_o at_o that_o time_n that_o it_o be_v possible_a for_o one_o to_o see_v any_o thing_n but_o with_o the_o eye_n of_o the_o body_n and_o the_o devil_n be_v careful_a enough_o to_o continue_v i_o in_o that_o erroneous_a opinion_n and_o to_o make_v i_o still_o believe_v that_o it_o be_v impossible_a and_o therefore_o that_o i_o have_v but_o fancy_v certain_a thing_n to_o myself_o and_o that_o perhaps_o it_o may_v be_v a_o work_n of_o the_o devil_n and_o he_o bring_v many_o suggestion_n like_o this_o upon_o i_o though_o yet_o still_o i_o be_v very_o confident_o of_o opinion_n that_o it_o be_v god_n and_o no_o conceit_n or_o fancy_n at_o all_o but_o yet_o still_o because_o it_o induce_v i_o to_o do_v thing_n which_o be_v against_o my_o gust_n i_o do_v the_o best_a i_o can_v even_o to_o belie_v my_o very_a self_n 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who_o we_o know_v we_o be_v belove_v and_o as_o for_o you_o if_o you_o love_v he_o not_o yet_o for_o to_o the_o end_n that_o it_o may_v be_v a_o true_a love_n and_o that_o your_o friendship_n may_v last_v the_o condition_n must_v be_v reciprocal_a and_o we_o know_v there_o can_v be_v no_o want_n on_o our_o lord_n behalf_n and_o that_o our_o nature_n be_v vicious_a sensual_a and_o ungrateful_a and_o so_o we_o can_v perhaps_o obtain_v full_o at_o our_o own_o hand_n to_o love_v he_o so_o much_o because_o he_o be_v not_o of_o the_o same_o condition_n with_o we_o yet_o consider_v how_o much_o it_o import_v we_o to_o hold_v friendship_n with_o he_o and_o how_o much_o he_o love_v we_o we_o must_v pass_v on_o and_o pass_v over_o this_o pain_n of_o be_v much_o in_o his_o company_n who_o be_v of_o so_o different_a a_o condition_n from_o we_o o_o infinite_a goodness_n of_o my_o god_n how_o true_a it_o be_v that_o i_o think_v i_o see_v both_o thou_o and_o myself_o in_o this_o very_a manner_n o_o thou_o who_o be_v the_o very_a regalo_n of_o the_o angel_n in_o heaven_n how_o fain_o will_v i_o even_o defeat_v and_o dissolve_v myself_o total_o in_o love_v thou_o when_o i_o see_v and_o consider_v these_o thing_n and_o how_o certain_a a_o thing_n it_o be_v that_o thou_o be_v on_o the_o suffer_a hand_n in_o regard_n of_o such_o as_o will_v not_o suffer_v thou_o to_o remain_v with_o they_o o_o how_o good_a a_o friend_n do_v thou_o make_v thyself_o to_o thy_o friend_n o_o my_o lord_n and_o how_o do_v thou_o go_v endure_v he_o and_o regal_v he_o and_o thou_o expect_v till_o he_o make_v himself_o grow_v to_o be_v of_o thy_o condition_n and_o inclination_n and_o in_o the_o mean_a time_n thou_o endure_v and_o permit_v he_o to_o continue_v to_o be_v a_o while_n of_o his_o own_o and_o thou_o take_v o_o my_o dear_a lord_n by_o way_n of_o good_a payment_n those_o fit_n of_o time_n which_o he_o can_v be_v content_a to_o bestow_v upon_o thou_o and_o upon_o a_o minute_n of_o true_a sorrow_n and_o repentance_n thou_o forget_v all_o those_o sin_n whereby_o he_o have_v offend_v thou_o all_o this_o have_v i_o perceive_v clear_o in_o order_n to_o myself_o and_o for_o my_o part_n i_o can_v see_v o_o my_o creator_n how_o the_o whole_a world_n can_v forbear_v to_o procure_v to_o draw_v near_o to_o thy_o divine_a majesty_n that_o so_o it_o may_v be_v able_a to_o obtain_v this_o particular_a kind_n of_o friendship_n with_o thou_o such_o as_o be_v wicked_a and_o be_v not_o hitherto_o come_v to_o have_v the_o like_a inclination_n and_o disposition_n to_o thou_o shall_v yet_o come_v towards_o thou_o to_o the_o end_n that_o so_o thou_o may_v make_v they_o good_a and_o that_o they_o may_v endure_v thou_o to_o be_v with_o they_o though_o it_o be_v but_o for_o some_o two_o hour_n in_o the_o day_n yea_o even_o though_o they_o will_v not_o the_o while_n stay_v in_o thy_o company_n without_o a_o thousand_o distraction_n and_o tumbling_n up_o and_o down_o in_o wordly_a care_n and_o thought_n as_o i_o be_v wont_a to_o do_v and_o for_o recompense_n of_o this_o violence_n which_o they_o use_v to_o make_v against_o themselves_o by_o continue_v in_o so_o good_a company_n as_o thou_o for_o neither_o in_o those_o very_a beginning_n no_o nor_o even_o afterward_o also_o for_o a_o while_n can_v they_o tell_v how_o to_o do_v better_o thou_o force_v o_o lord_n the_o devil_n of_o hell_n to_o forbear_v a_o set_v fierce_o upon_o they_o and_o permit_v they_o to_o have_v daily_o less_o power_n than_o other_o against_o they_o yea_o and_o thou_o put_v they_o into_o man_n hand_n that_o they_o may_v overcome_v they_o so_o that_o thou_o o_o thou_o life_n of_o all_o life_n do_v never_o kill_v any_o one_o of_o those_o creature_n who_o put_v his_o confidence_n in_o thou_o nor_o of_o they_o who_o desire_v thou_o for_o a_o friend_n but_o thou_o sustain_v both_o the_o life_n of_o their_o body_n with_o increase_n of_o health_n and_o thou_o also_o do_v impart_v it_o to_o the_o soul_n for_o my_o part_n i_o can_v possible_o understand_v why_o man_n shall_v fear_v as_o they_o do_v to_o begin_v to_o use_v mental_a prayer_n nor_o of_o what_o it_o be_v in_o fine_a that_o they_o be_v afraid_a the_o devil_n indeed_o do_v not_o ill_a in_o order_n to_o his_o own_o wicked_a end_n to_o procure_v to_o do_v i_o hurt_v if_o by_o pretence_n and_o mean_n of_o i_o know_v not_o what_o fear_n he_o can_v procure_v to_o make_v i_o forbear_v a_o consider_v how_o much_o and_o how_o high_o i_o have_v offend_v almighty_a god_n and_o how_o much_o i_o be_o oblige_v to_o he_o for_o his_o great_a mercy_n and_o benefit_n and_o to_o think_v upon_o this_o truth_n that_o there_o be_v such_o a_o thing_n as_o glory_v in_o heaven_n and_o torment_n in_o hell_n and_o upon_o those_o great_a affliction_n and_o sorrow_n which_o our_o lord_n endure_v for_o i_o in_o this_o life_n for_o this_o be_v still_o my_o prayer_n when_o i_o be_v continue_v in_o all_o those_o danger_n and_o upon_o this_o do_v i_o think_v whensoever_o i_o be_v able_a and_o very_o often_o yea_o and_o for_o some_o year_n together_o i_o be_v busy_a about_o desire_v that_o the_o hour_n may_v come_v quick_o to_o a_o end_n still_o listen_v when_o the_o clock_n will_v strike_v then_o upon_o better_a thing_n yea_o and_o it_o happen_v to_o i_o many_o time_n that_o i_o know_v not_o what_o penance_n can_v be_v set_v before_o i_o so_o very_o great_a as_o that_o i_o will_v not_o more_o willing_o undergo_v it_o then_o recollect_v myself_o to_o mental_a prayer_n and_o it_o be_v certain_a that_o either_o the_o devil_n do_v set_v upon_o i_o with_o such_o a_o un-resistable_a force_n or_o else_o my_o own_o wicked_a custom_n do_v it_o that_o i_o may_v not_o go_v make_v mental_a prayer_n and_o the_o sadness_n of_o my_o hart_n be_v such_o even_o when_o i_o enter_v into_o my_o oratory_n for_o that_o purpose_n that_o i_o be_v fain_o to_o help_v and_o serve_v myself_o of_o all_o the_o strength_n and_o courage_n i_o have_v which_o they_o say_v be_v not_o very_o little_a and_o it_o have_v be_v see_v that_o god_n have_v give_v i_o more_o then_o be_v usual_o possess_v by_o woman_n but_o that_o i_o have_v employ_v it_o ill_o to_o force_v myself_o to_o make_v my_o prayer_n and_o in_o fine_a it_o please_v our_o lord_n to_o assist_v i_o but_o afterward_o when_o i_o have_v use_v these_o violence_n to_o my_o hart_n i_o find_v myself_o with_o more_o quiet_a &_o delight_n so_o that_o sometime_o i_o grow_v to_o have_v a_o express_a desire_n to_o pray_v now_o therefore_o since_o it_o chance_v that_o our_o lord_n do_v suffer_v and_o endure_v so_o wicked_a a_o creature_n as_o myself_o and_o if_o it_o appear_v plain_o that_o all_o my_o misery_n be_v redress_v by_o this_o mean_n what_o person_n how_o wicked_a soever_o he_o may_v be_v can_v find_v any_o thing_n to_o be_v afraid_a of_o here_o for_o how_o wicked_a soever_o any_o other_o body_n may_v have_v be_v he_o will_v never_o be_v so_o yet_o after_o the_o enjoy_n of_o so_o great_a favour_n from_o our_o b._n lord_n as_o i_o have_v receive_v and_o who_o can_v ever_o come_v to_o disconfide_a in_o his_o divine_a majesty_n who_o have_v patience_n with_o i_o so_o long_o upon_o this_o only_o reason_n because_o i_o desire_v and_o procure_v some_o mean_n for_o time_n and_o place_n wherein_o he_o may_v be_v with_o i_o and_o even_o this_o little_a thing_n i_o do_v often_o without_o any_o inclination_n of_o my_o own_o but_o only_o by_o the_o great_a violence_n which_o either_o i_o offer_v to_o myself_o or_o else_o be_v offer_v to_o i_o by_o our_o lord_n since_o praemise_n therefore_o the_o use_n of_o mental_a prayer_n be_v so_o fit_a yea_o and_o so_o very_o necessary_a even_o for_o such_o as_o serve_v not_o god_n but_o offend_v he_o and_o since_o no_o body_n can_v true_o find_v any_o such_o hurt_n which_o it_o can_v possible_o do_v as_o will_v not_o be_v much_o great_a without_o prayer_n at_o least_o how_o can_v such_o forbear_v it_o as_o serve_v almighty_a god_n and_o desire_v to_o serve_v he_o most_o certain_o unless_o a_o man_n have_v a_o mind_n to_o pass_v through_o the_o trouble_n &_o misery_n of_o this_o life_n with_o a_o addition_n of_o more_o misery_n and_o to_o shut_v up_o the_o very_a gate_n against_o god_n himself_o for_o fear_n lest_o he_o shall_v give_v he_o comfort_n by_o this_o mean_n i_o can_v possible_o understand_v this_o proceed_n of_o he_o i_o have_v real_o great_a compassion_n and_o sorrow_n for_o those_o poor_a soul_n who_o will_v needs_o serve_v almighty_a god_n upon_o their_o own_o cost_n for_o as_o for_o they_o who_o use_v mental_a prayer_n
but_o as_o for_o beginner_n learned_a man_n if_o they_o possess_v not_o the_o use_n of_o prayer_n can_v be_v of_o little_a profit_n to_o they_o yet_o i_o say_v not_o that_o they_o shall_v not_o treat_v and_o confer_v with_o such_o man_n as_o be_v learned_a for_o as_o for_o have_v a_o spirit_n which_o shall_v not_o be_v first_o settle_v in_o a_o way_n of_o truth_n for_o my_o part_n i_o have_v rather_o have_v it_o without_o prayer_n for_o learning_n be_v a_o great_a matter_n since_o it_o instruct_v we_o who_o know_v little_a and_o bring_v we_o light_a and_o when_o we_o approach_v near_o to_o the_o truth_n of_o holy_a scripture_n we_o begin_v to_o do_v that_o which_o we_o ought_v but_o as_o for_o silly_a and_o foolish_a devotion_n our_o lord_n deliver_v we_o from_o they_o i_o will_v declare_v myself_o yet_o better_a for_o i_o fear_v i_o put_v myself_o upon_o too_o many_o thing_n at_o once_o though_o i_o ever_o want_v mean_n to_o know_v how_o to_o give_v myself_o to_o be_v well_o understand_v as_o i_o have_v say_v but_o upon_o the_o expense_n of_o many_o word_n a_o religious_a woman_n for_o example_n sake_n will_v begin_v to_o use_v prayer_n and_o in_o case_n some_o silly_a kind_n of_o man_n direct_v and_o govern_v she_o he_o will_v if_o the_o toy_n take_v he_o in_o the_o head_n give_v she_o to_o understand_v that_o it_o be_v better_a for_o she_o to_o obey_v he_o than_o her_o superior_a yea_o and_o he_o will_v do_v it_o without_o any_o malice_n at_o all_o as_o conceave_a that_o he_o be_v in_o the_o right_n and_o now_o she_o be_v a_o religious_a woman_n will_v be_v likely_a enough_o to_o think_v that_o he_o say_v true_a and_o if_o she_o be_v a_o marry_a woman_n he_o will_v tell_v she_o that_o it_o be_v best_o for_o she_o even_o when_o she_o ought_v to_o be_v about_o her_o household_n business_n to_o exercise_v herself_o in_o prayer_n though_o it_o be_v to_o be_v to_o the_o disgust_n of_o her_o husband_n so_o that_o she_o know_v not_o how_o to_o dispose_v of_o 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without_o the_o exercise_n of_o prayer_n be_v not_o to_o the_o purpose_n for_o they_o who_o use_v prayer_n for_o i_o have_v deal_v with_o many_o and_o for_o some_o of_o these_o latter_a year_n i_o have_v endeavour_v it_o the_o more_o because_o then_o i_o find_v myself_o in_o more_o necessity_n but_o i_o be_v ever_o much_o a_o friend_n of_o learned_a man_n for_o though_o some_o of_o they_o have_v not_o experience_n yet_o they_o hate_v not_o spiritual_a people_n nor_o be_v not_o ignorant_a what_o these_o thing_n mean_v because_o they_o ever_o find_v this_o truth_n that_o there_o be_v such_o a_o thing_n as_o a_o good_a spirit_n by_o holy_a scripture_n wherein_o they_o be_v continual_o verse_v and_o as_o for_o i_o i_o hold_v that_o a_o person_n who_o exercise_n prayer_n and_o will_v treat_v with_o learned_a man_n shall_v never_o be_v deceive_v by_o illusion_n of_o the_o devil_n if_o he_o have_v not_o a_o mind_n to_o deceive_v himself_o for_o i_o believe_v that_o the_o devil_n be_v mighty_o 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by_o degree_n grow_v even_o to_o make_v they_o also_o become_v spiritual_a to_o the_o end_n that_o they_o may_v be_v able_a to_o instruct_v we_o the_o better_a and_o i_o speak_v not_o this_o without_o some_o trial_n for_o the_o occasion_n have_v happen_v to_o i_o with_o more_o then_z two_o i_o say_v therefore_o that_o if_o a_o soul_n resolve_v to_o render_v itself_o to_o be_v entire_o subject_a to_o the_o order_n of_o any_o one_o director_n she_o shall_v err_v very_o much_o unless_o she_o procure_v in_o particular_a manner_n that_o he_o be_v learned_a especial_o if_o he_o be_v a_o religious_a man_n of_o any_o order_n because_o such_o a_o one_o be_v to_o be_v subject_a to_o his_o prelate_n or_o superior_a and_o in_o that_o case_n peradventure_o all_o those_o three_o aforesaid_a part_n which_o be_v say_v to_o be_v so_o necessary_a for_o a_o director_n will_v be_v want_v to_o he_o which_o will_v be_v no_o little_a cross_n to_o the_o party_n beside_o that_o he_o may_v perhaps_o find_v 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be_v not_o learned_a be_v always_o to_o give_v god_n infinite_a thanks_n for_o that_o there_o be_v some_o in_o the_o world_n who_o take_v so_o great_a pain_n and_o trouble_v to_o obtain_v the_o knowledge_n of_o truth_n whereof_o such_o as_o be_v not_o learned_a be_v ignorant_a and_o it_o amaze_v i_o many_o time_n to_o see_v religious_a man_n who_o be_v learn_v and_o particular_o to_o consider_v with_o how_o much_o trouble_n they_o grow_v to_o gain_v all_o that_o knowledge_n which_o be_v to_o bring_v i_o so_o much_o profit_n without_o any_o more_o trouble_n of_o i_o then_o only_o to_o ask_v they_o the_o question_n and_o yet_o that_o we_o shall_v not_o benefit_v ourselves_o by_o it_o but_o let_v not_o god_n permit_v that_o still_o it_o shall_v continue_v to_o be_v so_o for_o i_o see_v they_o subject_n to_o the_o trouble_n and_o mortification_n of_o a_o religious_a life_n which_o be_v very_o great_a with_o pennance_n with_o ill_a diet_n with_o hard_a lodging_n with_o be_v subject_n in_o all_o thing_n to_o obedience_n and_o in_o fine_a i_o so_o perceive_v that_o all_o be_v affliction_n and_o all_o cross_n that_o real_o the_o thought_n thereof_o do_v cast_v i_o sometime_o into_o confusion_n and_o i_o think_v it_o must_v be_v a_o great_a misery_n that_o any_o body_n shall_v loose_v so_o important_a a_o benefit_n by_o his_o own_o fault_n it_o be_v possible_a that_o some_o of_o we_o who_o be_v free_a from_o these_o austerity_n whereof_o i_o speak_v or_o at_o least_o if_o we_o feed_v upon_o they_o we_o will_v needs_o have_v they_o fine_o dress_v after_o our_o own_o fancy_n and_o so_o will_v live_v as_o we_o list_v ourselves_o conceive_v that_o
which_o his_o divine_a majesty_n give_v to_o that_o soul_n to_o show_v that_o he_o choose_v she_o out_o for_o great_a thing_n if_o she_o will_v make_v herself_o fit_a to_o receive_v they_o i_o say_v this_o be_v a_o mighty_a gift_n yea_o and_o far_o great_a than_o i_o be_o any_o way_n able_a to_o express_v and_o it_o be_v matter_n of_o much_o grief_n to_o i_o that_o as_o i_o be_v say_v i_o know_v many_o soul_n which_o arrive_v thus_o far_o and_o that_o yet_o there_o be_v so_o very_a few_o which_o pass_v further_a at_o least_o as_o they_o ought_v to_o pass_v that_o i_o be_o even_o ashamed_a to_o confess_v it_o i_o say_v not_o that_o there_o be_v so_o very_a few_o who_o pass_v on_o for_o it_o may_v very_o well_o be_v that_o there_o be_v many_o for_o god_n do_v not_o sustain_v we_o for_o nothing_o but_o i_o only_o speak_v of_o such_o as_o i_o have_v see_v for_o my_o part_n i_o will_v earnest_o wish_v they_o not_o to_o hide_v their_o talon_n since_o it_o seem_v almighty_a god_n choose_v they_o out_o for_o the_o profit_n of_o many_o other_o and_o especial_o in_o these_o time_n when_o it_o be_v so_o necessary_a that_o his_o divine_a majesty_n shall_v have_v strong_a friend_n to_o support_v and_o uphold_v such_o as_o be_v weak_a and_o let_v they_o all_o who_o find_v that_o they_o have_v receive_v this_o great_a favour_n at_o our_o lord_n hand_n esteem_v themselves_o for_o strong_a if_o they_o know_v how_o to_o correspond_v well_o with_o the_o law_n which_o a_o firm_a and_o fast_o friendship_n even_o of_o this_o very_a world_n require_v and_o if_o they_o will_v not_o let_v they_o apprehend_v very_o much_o and_o fear_v that_o they_o shall_v do_v themselves_o a_o great_a deal_n of_o hurt_n yea_o and_o i_o pray_v god_n that_o it_o may_v be_v to_o none_o but_o themselves_o that_o prayer_n which_o the_o soul_n be_v to_o do_v in_o these_o time_n of_o enjoy_v this_o quiet_a be_v but_o only_o note_n that_o with_o suavitie_n and_o without_o noise_n she_o employ_v the_o will_n to_o understand_v with_o much_o calmness_n and_o discretion_n that_o the_o soul_n be_v not_o to_o negotiate_v with_o almighty_a god_n by_o the_o strength_n of_o the_o arme._n i_o call_v it_o noise_n if_o the_o understanding_n go_v seekingout_n many_o word_n and_o consideration_n to_o give_v thanks_o for_o this_o benefit_n and_o to_o make_v up_o a_o mighty_a heap_n of_o her_o defect_n and_o sin_n to_o show_v that_o she_o deserve_v not_o this_o favour_n for_o all_o be_v in_o motion_n now_o and_o the_o understanding_n represent_v many_o thing_n to_o we_o and_o the_o memory_n be_v boil_v up_o and_o real_o these_o power_n of_o the_o mind_n be_v wont_a to_o give_v i_o trouble_v enough_o at_o time_n and_o in_o regard_n that_o i_o have_v but_o a_o weak_a memory_n i_o can_v in_o these_o case_n subdue_v they_o but_o those_o other_o consideration_n and_o mental_a discourse_n be_v indeed_o no_o better_o then_o as_o so_o many_o great_a log_n of_o wood_n which_o be_v lay_v with_o small_a discretion_n upon_o that_o little_a spark_n of_o fire_n to_o quench_v it_o and_o therefore_o let_v she_o know_v and_o say_v with_o great_a humility_n o_o lord_n what_o be_o i_o able_a to_o do_v here_o what_o have_v this_o servant_n or_o slave_n to_o do_v with_o the_o lord_n of_o heaven_n and_o earth_n or_o else_o she_o may_v use_v such_o other_o word_n as_o shall_v present_v themselves_o then_o in_o the_o way_n of_o love._n but_o note_v here_o that_o she_o must_v be_v very_o very_o well_o ground_v upon_o know_v that_o to_o be_v true_a which_o she_o say_v now_o as_o for_o that_o which_o concern_v the_o understanding_n let_v the_o soul_n consider_v it_o no_o otherwise_o then_o mere_o as_o if_o it_o be_v a_o miller_n and_o if_o she_o will_v needs_o give_v it_o part_n of_o that_o which_o she_o enjoy_v or_o shall_v labour_v to_o recollect_v it_o also_o to_o herself_o she_o will_v find_v that_o it_o be_v not_o to_o prove_v well_o with_o she_o for_o many_o time_n it_o be_v see_v that_o during_o this_o union_n and_o repose_v or_o rest_n in_o the_o will_n the_o understanding_n be_v still_o much_o out_o of_o order_n and_o if_o the_o will_n can_v be_v be_v able_a to_o arrest_v it_o it_o be_v better_a to_o let_v it_o alone_o then_o that_o she_o shall_v still_o go_v hunt_v after_o it_o i_o say_v the_o will._n but_o let_v it_o remain_v enjoy_v that_o favour_n and_o be_v recollect_v and_o shutup_a in_o itself_o like_o a_o wise_a comparison_n bee_n for_o if_o no_o one_o of_o the_o bee_n shall_v go_v into_o the_o hive_n but_o all_o be_v gad_v abroad_o so_o to_o be_v still_o ferch_v one_o another_o home_n there_o will_v little_a store_n of_o honey_n be_v make_v and_o so_o a_o soul_n will_v loose_v very_o much_o if_o she_o be_v not_o well_o advertise_v of_o this_o and_o especial_o if_o the_o understanding_n be_v quick_a and_o sharp_a for_o if_o once_o such_o a_o one_o begin_v to_o put_v discourse_n in_o order_n and_o light_n upon_o some_o pretty_a reason_n to_o the_o purpose_n she_o will_v if_o they_o be_v handsome_o say_v begin_v to_o think_v that_o she_o perform_v some_o great_a exploit_n but_o the_o discourse_n which_o be_v to_o be_v use_v here_o must_v be_v a_o know_v clear_o and_o confess_v plain_o that_o there_o be_v no_o other_o reason_n at_o all_o why_o almighty_a god_n shall_v ever_o do_v we_o so_o great_a a_o favour_n than_o his_o own_o only_o goodness_n and_o to_o consider_v that_o we_o be_v now_o approach_v so_o near_o to_o he_o and_o to_o beg_v favour_n of_o he_o and_o to_o beseech_v he_o also_o for_o his_o church_n and_o for_o all_o such_o as_o have_v recommend_v themselves_o to_o we_o and_o so_o also_o for_o the_o soul_n in_o purgatory_n and_o this_o not_o by_o the_o noise_n of_o word_n but_o only_o by_o a_o feel_a desire_n to_o be_v hear_v by_o his_o divine_a majesty_n this_o be_v a_o prayer_n which_o comprehend_v very_o much_o and_o we_o shall_v obtain_v more_o thereby_o then_o by_o multiply_v much_o roll_a discourse_n by_o way_n of_o the_o understanding_n but_o let_v the_o will_n stirr-up_a herself_o by_o some_o reason_n which_o will_v easy_o represent_v themselves_o to_o she_o then_o when_o she_o find_v herself_o to_o be_v so_o very_a much_o improve_v to_o quicken-up_a her_o love_n and_o to_o make_v she_o perform_v certain_a amorous_a act_n of_o how_o great_a thing_n she_o will_v be_v glad_a to_o do_v for_o one_o to_o who_o she_o owe_v so_o very_a much_o without_o admit_v and_o permit_v as_o i_o say_v that_o the_o understanding_n part_n shall_v make_v a_o noise_n in_o the_o search_n and_o pretence_n of_o do_v high_a and_o mighty_a matter_n for_o here_o any_o few_o little_a poor_a straw_n present_v and_o offered-up_a with_o humility_n and_o they_o may_v be_v sure_a enough_o to_o be_v straw_n if_o we_o bring_v they_o will_v make_v a_o great_a deal_n more_o to_o the_o purpose_n and_o will_v help_v to_o kindle_v a_o good_a fire_n more_o quick_o than_o a_o great_a deal_n of_o big_a log_n of_o wood_n will_v be_v able_a to_o do_v i_o mean_v reason_n which_o in_o our_o opinion_n shall_v be_v very_o sure_a to_o quench_v and_o putout_a the_o fire_n even_o in_o the_o turn_n of_o a_o hand_n this_o be_v good_a for_o learned_a man_n who_o command_v i_o to_o write_v all_o this_o for_o through_o the_o goodness_n of_o god_n it_o may_v be_v hope_v that_o all_o of_o they_o arrive_v hither_o and_o it_o may_v perhaps_o so_o happen_v among_o they_o that_o this_o time_n will_v pass_v away_o in_o apply_v some_o place_n of_o scripture_n but_o though_o that_o kind_n of_o knowledge_n can_v not_o fail_v to_o be_v useful_a to_o they_o both_o before_o such_o occasion_n as_o these_o and_o also_o after_o yet_o at_o these_o very_a time_n of_o prayer_n there_o will_v be_v little_a occasion_n to_o use_v it_o in_o my_o opinion_n unless_o they_o have_v a_o mind_n to_o cool_v the_o feruorous_a employment_n of_o the_o will._n for_o the_o understanding_n find_v itself_o then_o to_o possess_v such_o a_o excessive_a kind_n of_o claritie_n by_o be_v so_o 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i_o may_v never_o converse_v more_o with_o any_o creature_n or_o else_o final_o o_o lord_n give_v order_n that_o i_o may_v have_v nothing_o to_o do_v in_o this_o world_n or_o at_o least_o take_v i_o out_o of_o it_o quite_o for_o now_o already_o o_o my_o god_n this_o servant_n of_o thou_o be_v no_o long_o able_a to_o endure_v so_o great_a affliction_n as_o she_o feel_v to_o come_v upon_o she_o by_o her_o be_v thus_o without_o thou_o and_o if_o she_o needs_o must_v live_v she_o desire_v to_o have_v no_o ease_n in_o this_o life_n nor_o indeed_o do_v thou_o give_v she_o any_o for_o it_o be_v death_n to_o she_o to_o see_v herself_o eat_v she_o be_v afflict_v by_o the_o sleep_n she_o take_v she_o find_v that_o her_o whole_a life_n be_v spend_v and_o past_a through_o in_o regalo_n and_o yet_o that_o now_o there_o be_v nothing_o but_o thyself_o who_o can_v indeed_o regale_n she_o so_o that_o it_o seem_v i_o live_v now_o even_o against_o nature_n since_o now_o i_o will_v fain_o not_o live_v in_o myself_o but_o only_o in_o thou_o o_o thou_o my_o true_a lord_n and_o my_o glory_n how_o delicate_a and_o yet_o how_o huge_o heavy_a be_v that_o cross_n which_o thou_o have_v prepare_v and_o provide_v for_o such_o as_o arrive_v to_o this_o state_n it_o be_v delicate_a because_o it_o be_v incredible_o sweet_a and_o it_o be_v heavy_a because_o there_o grow_v to_o be_v certain_a time_n when_o there_o be_v not_o patience_n enough_o in_o the_o whole_a world_n to_o enable_v we_o to_o endure_v it_o and_o yet_o the_o soul_n will_v never_o desire_v to_o be_v free_a from_o it_o unless_o it_o be_v to_o the_o end_n that_o she_o may_v find_v herself_o once_o to_o be_v with_o thou_o and_o when_o also_o the_o same_o soul_n remember_v that_o she_o be_v never_o able_a to_o do_v thou_o service_n in_o any_o thing_n and_o that_o by_o continue_v to_o live_v it_o may_v yet_o perhaps_o be_v possible_a for_o she_o to_o serve_v thou_o she_o will_v be_v glad_a if_o she_o may_v lie_v under_o a_o very_a 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nor_o do_v i_o know_v or_o believe_v that_o it_o be_v i_o who_o be_o speak_v thus_o ever_o since_o i_o receive_v the_o b._n sacrament_n this_o morning_n for_o i_o think_v i_o do_v but_o dream_v of_o what_o i_o see_v and_o i_o will_v be_v glad_a not_o to_o see_v any_o other_o than_o such_o as_o be_v sick_a of_o that_o very_a same_o disease_n which_o be_v now_o upon_o i_o i_o humble_o beseech_v your_o reverence_n that_o we_o may_v all_o become_v like_o mad_a fool_n for_o his_o love_n who_o be_v content_a to_o be_v call_v fool_n for_o the_o love_n of_o us._n and_o since_o your_o reverence_n say_v that_o you_o wish_v i_o so_o cordial_o well_o i_o desire_v that_o you_o will_v show_v it_o by_o dispose_v yourself_o in_o such_o sort_n as_o that_o our_o lord_n may_v do_v you_o this_o favour_n for_o i_o see_v there_o be_v very_o few_o man_n who_o have_v not_o more_o wit_n than_o even_o they_o need_v for_o the_o effect_v such_o thing_n as_o they_o hold_v to_o concern_v they_o but_o now_o perhaps_o i_o may_v have_v more_o than_o they_o all_o but_o do_v not_o you_o suffer_v this_o my_o dear_a father_n since_o you_o be_v so_o as_o well_o as_o my_o son_n because_o you_o be_v my_o confessarius_fw-la to_o who_o hand_n i_o have_v commit_v the_o care_n of_o my_o soul_n but_o unbeguile_v i_o by_o tell_v i_o truth_n though_o truth_n be_v now_o aday_n seldom_o tell_v and_o now_o i_o will_v be_v very_o glad_a that_o we_o five_o who_o at_o the_o present_a love_v one_o another_o in_o christ_n our_o lord_n that_o i_o say_v as_o other_o meet_v in_o secret_a against_o the_o service_n of_o his_o divine_a majesty_n for_o the_o order_n of_o their_o wickedness_n and_o their_o heresy_n we_o also_o may_v procure_v sometime_o to_o meet_v for_o the_o disabuse_v one_o another_o and_o to_o confer_v how_o we_o may_v reform_v ourselves_o and_o give_v almighty_a god_n more_o gust_n for_o there_o be_v no_o creature_n that_o know_v himself_o so_o well_o as_o they_o do_v who_o look_v upon_o we_o so_o that_o it_o be_v with_o true_a love_n and_o care_n of_o our_o amendment_n i_o speak_v of_o this_o as_o a_o secret_a and_o in_o your_o care_n for_o now_o already_o no_o such_o language_n as_o this_o be_v use_v when_o even_o preacher_n themselves_o go_v so_o compose_v their_o sermon_n as_o that_o they_o may_v be_v sure_a to_o give_v man_n no_o disgust_n by_o they_o but_o their_o intention_n forsooth_o be_v so_o good_a as_o that_o the_o fruit_n will_v be_v answerable_a to_o it_o and_o so_o we_o see_v how_o few_o grow_v to_o mend_v their_o life_n but_o how_o come_v it_o now_o to_o pass_v that_o they_o be_v not_o very_o many_a who_o give_v over_o to_o be_v public_a in_o follow_v vice_n by_o mean_n of_o those_o sermon_n which_o be_v make_v shall_v i_o tell_v what_o i_o think_v it_o be_v because_o the_o preacher_n make_v themselves_o too_o wise_a not_o yet_o that_o they_o be_v indeed_o without_o wit_n by_o reason_n of_o any_o great_a fire_n of_o the_o love_n of_o almighty_n god_n which_o be_v in_o their_o heart_n as_o the_o apostle_n be_v and_o so_o their_o flame_n falls-out_a to_o give_v but_o very_o little_a heat_n i_o say_v not_o that_o i_o expect_v that_o it_o shall_v be_v so_o great_a as_o they_o be_v but_o yet_o i_o hearty_o wish_v that_o it_o be_v great_a than_o i_o can_v now_o find_v it_o be_v your_o reverence_n know_v in_o what_o very_o much_o will_v consist_v namely_o in_o have_v this_o life_n of_o we_o in_o detestation_n and_o honour_n in_o very_o little_a estimation_n and_o that_o rather_o than_o fail_v both_o to_o speak_v truth_n and_o to_o maintain_v it_o for_o the_o glory_n of_o almighty_a god_n we_o will_v be_v as_o well_o content_v to_o loose_v all_o as_o to_o gain_v all_o for_o whosoever_o be_v resolve_v in_o very_o good_a earnest_n to_o put_v it_o all_o to_o hazard_v for_o the_o love_n of_o our_o bless_a lord_n will_v be_v as_o well_o content_a with_o the_o one_o as_o with_o the_o other_o i_o say_v not_o that_o i_o be_o any_o such_o creature_n but_o i_o hearty_o wish_v i_o be_v o_o great_a and_o gallant_a liberty_n to_o esteem_v it_o for_o a_o direct_a captivity_n to_o be_v bind_v to_o live_v and_o converse_v according_a to_o the_o law_n of_o this_o world_n for_o when_o this_o be_v once_o obtain_v at_o the_o hand_n of_o almighty_a god_n there_o be_v not_o so_o base_a a_o slave_n upon_o earth_n as_o will_v not_o venture_v all_o that_o so_o he_o may_v redeem_v himself_o and_o return_v home_o to_o his_o own_o country_n and_o since_o this_o wherein_o we_o be_v be_v the_o true_a way_n there_o be_v neither_o cause_n nor_o colour_n why_o we_o shall_v desire_v to_o loiter_v in_o it_o for_o we_o shall_v never_o finish_v the_o gain_n of_o so_o great_a a_o treasure_n till_o our_o lord_n give_v we_o his_o grace_n to_o do_v it_o well_o i_o humble_o pray_v your_o reverence_n to_o tear_v this_o which_o i_o have_v write_v if_o you_o think_v fit_a and_o pardon_v i_o for_o i_o have_v presume_v too_o far_o the_o seaventeenth_n chapter_n she_o prosecute_v the_o same_o argument_n about_o this_o three_o degree_n of_o prayer_n and_o finish_v the_o declaration_n of_o the_o effect_n which_o it_o work_n and_o declare_v also_o the_o disadvantage_n which_o the_o memory_n and_o imagination_n be_v wont_a to_o bring_v in_o this_o case_n i_o have_v already_o speak_v to_o some_o good_a proportion_n of_o this_o manner_n of_o prayer_n and_o of_o that_o which_o the_o soul_n be_v to_o perform_v therein_o or_o rather_o of_o what_o god_n do_v in_o she_o for_o now_o it_o be_v himself_o who_o take_v the_o office_n of_o gardner_n
myself_o have_v receive_v so_o great_a favour_n from_o almighty_a god_n can_v ever_o procure_v to_o come_v to_o mental_a prayer_n and_o that_o for_o i_o it_o will_v suffice_v if_o i_o say_v those_o vocal_a prayer_n to_o which_o i_o be_v bind_v as_o other_o do_v but_o that_o since_o now_o i_o do_v not_o even_o thus_o much_o well_o what_o sense_n be_v there_o that_o i_o shall_v pretend_v to_o do_v more_o and_o that_o this_o be_v to_o express_v little_a reverence_n to_o almighty_a god_n and_o to_o underualue_n his_o favour_n it_o be_v fit_a to_o think_v and_o know_v all_o this_o but_o to_o put_v it_o in_o execution_n have_v be_v extreme_o ill_o do_v and_o be_v thou_o bless_v o_o lord_n who_o bring_v i_o the_o remedy_n for_o this_o temptation_n seem_v to_o have_v be_v no_o less_o than_o a_o beginning_n to_o that_o other_o which_o the_o devil_n bring_v upon_o judas_n but_o that_o traitor_n the_o devil_n dare_v not_o tempt_v i_o so_o open_o but_o will_v fain_o have_v come_v by_o little_a and_o little_a to_o set_v upon_o i_o as_o he_o do_v upon_o he_o and_o now_o for_o the_o love_n of_o our_o lord_n let_v all_o they_o who_o use_v mental_a prayer_n consider_v well_o that_o which_o follow_v very_o well_o let_v they_o know_v that_o during_o the_o time_n when_o i_o forbear_v it_o my_o life_n be_v much_o worse_o than_o before_o and_o let_v it_o be_v well_o consider_v what_o a_o fine_a kind_n of_o remedy_n the_o devil_n bring_v i_o and_o what_o a_o dainty_a ridiculous_a humility_n it_o must_v be_v which_o can_v fill_v i_o with_o so_o deep_a a_o disquiet_n for_o indeed_o how_o can_v this_o soul_n of_o i_o appease_v itself_o the_o ignorant_a foolish_a creature_n go_v away_o as_o fast_o as_o she_o can_v from_o her_o true_a repose_n and_o rest_n she_o have_v her_o favour_n and_o regalo_n present_a to_o her_o memory_n and_o she_o find_v that_o the_o contentment_n of_o this_o world_n be_v so_o loathsome_a as_o even_o almost_o to_o provoke_v a_o vomit_n but_o i_o be_o amaze_v how_o i_o can_v endure_v it_o though_o belike_o it_o be_v with_o some_o kind_n of_o hope_n that_o at_o the_o worst_a hand_n i_o may_v be_v able_a to_o remain_v free_a from_o sin_n for_o i_o never_o as_o i_o remember_v though_o yet_o it_o be_v now_o more_o than_o one_o &_o twenty_o year_n ago_o gave-ove_a a_o be_v resolve_v to_o return_v to_o prayer_n but_o o_o how_o ill-grounded_a and_o address_v be_v this_o hope_n of_o i_o for_o the_o devil_n will_v fain_o have_v turn_v i_o over_o till_o the_o day_n of_o judgement_n that_o so_o from_o thence_o he_o may_v conduct_v i_o to_o hell_n but_o yet_o now_o afterward_o i_o frequent_v prayer_n &_o read_v which_o be_v indeed_o the_o way_n to_o see_v real_a truth_n &_o look_v down_o upon_o that_o wicked_a course_n which_o i_o be_v hold_v and_o often_o importune_v our_o bless_a lord_n with_o many_o tear_n i_o be_v yet_o so_o very_o wretched_a that_o i_o know_v not_o by_o any_o mean_n how_o to_o help_v myself_o but_o then_o again_o on_o the_o other_o side_n i_o grow_v to_o give-ove_a these_o good_a thing_n and_o employ_v myself_o upon_o certain_a idle_a pastime_n and_o expose_v myself_o to_o many_o occasion_n of_o ill_a and_o enjoy_v very_o few_o help_n and_o i_o may_v rather_o venture_v to_o say_v none_o at_o all_o but_o only_o such_o as_o may_v help_v i_o to_o fall_v for_o what_o may_v i_o ever_o hope_v but_o what_o i_o have_v say_v i_o believe_v that_o a_o certain_a religious_a man_n of_o s._n dominick_n order_n who_o be_v very_o learned_a have_v great_a merit_n in_o the_o sight_n of_o god_n for_o he_o awake_v i_o out_o of_o this_o sleep_n and_o he_o make_v i_o as_o i_o think_v i_o have_v already_o express_v receive_v the_o b._n sacrament_n every_o fortnight_n and_o so_o my_o misery_n be_v then_o not_o altogether_o so_o great_a i_o begin_v to_o come_v back_o again_o into_o myself_o though_o yet_o withal_o i_o forbear_v not_o to_o commit_v some_o offence_n against_o our_o lord_n but_o because_o i_o have_v not_o lose_v my_o way_n i_o go_v still_o on_o with_o fall_v &_o rise_v though_o yet_o but_o by_o little_a and_o little_a and_o he_o who_o never_o gives-ove_a to_o go_v forward_o will_v arrive_v at_o length_n by_o go_v soft_o though_o it_o be_v late_o for_o my_o part_n i_o conceive_v that_o for_o a_o soul_n to_o loose_v her_o way_n and_o to_o leave_v her_o prayer_n be_v indeed_o but_o one_o and_o the_o self_n same_o thing_n and_o our_o lord_n deliver_v we_o from_o it_o for_o his_o own_o mercy_n sake_n it_o be_v heerupon_o to_o be_v infer_v and_o i_o desire_v even_o for_o the_o love_n of_o our_o lord_n that_o it_o may_v be_v much_o observe_v that_o although_o a_o soul_n shall_v come_v to_o such_o pass_n as_o that_o our_o lord_n may_v do_v her_o great_a favour_n in_o prayer_n she_o must_v not_o yet_o be_v confident_a of_o herself_o since_o she_o may_v yet_o come_v to_o fall_v again_o and_o let_v she_o not_o by_o any_o mean_n expose_v herself_o to_o heed_n occasion_n of_o sinne._n let_v she_o be_v careful_a to_o consider_v thus_o much_o for_o the_o deceit_n of_o which_o the_o devil_n be_v wont_a to_o serve_v himself_o in_o this_o occasion_n be_v very_o great_a for_o though_o the_o favour_n which_o be_v impart_v to_o the_o soul_n be_v most_o certain_o from_o almighty_a god_n yet_o the_o traitor_n will_v not_o fail_v to_o serve_v himself_o of_o that_o very_a favour_n in_o whatsoever_o he_o can_v and_o especial_o for_o the_o disadvantage_n of_o person_n who_o be_v not_o strong_a in_o virtue_n and_o mortification_n nor_o be_v absolute_o untie_v and_o loose_a from_o all_o thing_n belong_v to_o this_o world_n for_o man_n in_o fine_a must_v know_v that_o they_o be_v not_o by_o mean_n of_o this_o prayer_n sufficient_o strengthen_v and_o fortify_v as_o i_o will_v declare_v afterward_o for_o the_o put_v themselves_o into_o occasion_n and_o danger_n how_o great_a desire_n and_o resolution_n soever_o they_o may_v have_v this_o be_v a_o excellent_a doctrine_n and_o it_o be_v not_o i_o but_o teach_v by_o almighty_a god_n himself_o and_o so_o i_o shall_v be_v glad_a that_o all_o ignorant_a person_n like_v i_o may_v learn_v it_o for_o though_o a_o soul_n be_v never_o so_o high_a in_o this_o state_n yet_o must_v she_o not_o trust_v herself_o so_o far_o as_o to_o go_v out_o to_o combat_v but_o she_o will_v have_v acquit_v herself_o well_o if_o she_o can_v defend_v herself_o so_o that_o in_o this_o state_n and_o condition_n it_o will_v be_v necessary_a for_o she_o to_o carry_v defensive_a arm_n against_o the_o devil_n for_o yet_o she_o have_v not_o strength_n enough_o wherewith_o to_o assault_v he_o and_o much_o less_o to_o tread_v he_o under_o foot_n as_o yet_o they_o will_v be_v able_a to_o do_v who_o shall_v find_v themselves_o in_o that_o state_n whereof_o i_o will_v discourse_v afterward_o but_o this_o be_v that_o devise_n and_o cosening-trick_n whereby_o the_o devil_n be_v wont_a to_o take_v we_o that_o when_o once_o he_o see_v a_o soul_n arrive_v to_o be_v so_o very_o near_o to_o our_o lord_n and_o which_o can_v judge_v so_o very_o well_o of_o the_o difference_n between_o the_o blessing_n which_o belong_v to_o this_o life_n and_o the_o next_o and_o of_o the_o love_n which_o our_o lord_n bear_v to_o that_o soul_n from_o this_o very_a love_n he_o make_v such_o a_o kind_n of_o confidence_n and_o security_n grow_v as_o that_o she_o shall_v never_o forsooth_o be_v able_a to_o fall_v from_o that_o which_o she_o be_v enjoy_v at_o that_o time_n and_o she_o also_o seem_v there-upon_o to_o eye_v her_o reward_n so_o very_o clear_o that_o she_o be_v easy_o bring_v to_o hold_v it_o even_o impossible_a for_o she_o to_o quit_v that_o which_o be_v so_o very_o delightful_a and_o gustfull_a even_o in_o this_o life_n for_o so_o base_a and_o filthy_a a_o thing_n as_o worldly_a pleasure_n be_v now_o by_o mean_n of_o this_o vain_a confidence_n do_v the_o devil_n grow_v to_o deprive_v she_o of_o the_o distrust_n which_o otherwise_o she_o will_v have_v of_o her_o own_o strength_n and_o thus_o she_o expose_v herself_o as_o i_o be_v say_v to_o danger_n and_o begin_v with_o a_o foolish_a kind_n of_o good_a zeal_n to_o be_v give_v the_o fruit_n of_o her_o garden_n away_o to_o other_o without_o any_o limit_n as_o believe_v now_o that_o she_o have_v no_o more_o cause_n so_o to_o be_v afraid_a concern_v herself_o and_o that_o this_o be_v not_o forsooth_o out_o of_o pride_n for_o the_o soul_n understand_v well_o enough_o that_o she_o be_v able_a to_o do_v nothing_o of_o herself_o but_o through_o the_o much_o temptation_n confidence_n which_o she_o have_v in_o almighty_a god_n yet_o all_o this_o be_v without_o discretion_n because_o
will_n of_o our_o bless_a lord_n and_o for_o his_o glory_n now_o real_o and_o with_o effect_n all_o these_o thing_n be_v wont_a to_o pass_v in_o this_o manner_n if_o the_o rapt_n be_v true_a and_o the_o soul_n be_v vest_v with_o those_o advantage_n and_o benefit_n which_o be_v relate_v and_o if_o these_o do_v not_o follow_v i_o shall_v be_v apt_a to_o doubt_v very_o much_o that_o they_o be_v not_o rapt_n on_o the_o part_n of_o god_n but_o shall_v rather_o be_v incline_v to_o fear_v that_o they_o be_v of_o that_o kind_n of_o rave_n whereof_o s._n vincent_n speak_v at_o least_o this_o be_v what_o i_o understand_v and_o i_o have_v see_v by_o experience_n itself_o that_o the_o soul_n be_v wont_a in_o these_o case_n to_o become_v a_o lady_n and_o queen_n over_o all_o creature_n and_o to_o acquire_v so_o much_o liberty_n of_o spirit_n in_o less_o than_o a_o hour_n that_o she_o can_v even_o know_v herself_o but_o yet_o she_o well_o understand_v that_o all_o this_o be_v none_o of_o her_o own_o nor_o do_v she_o know_v how_o she_o can_v come_v to_o obtain_v so_o great_a a_o blessing_n but_o yet_o still_o she_o understand_v withal_o the_o extreme_a great_a benefit_n and_o advantage_n which_o every_o one_o of_o these_o rapt_n bring_v upon_o she_o there_o be_v no_o creature_n who_o can_v credit_v all_o this_o but_o such_o a_o one_o as_o have_v learn_v it_o by_o experience_n and_o therefore_o man_n believe_v not_o the_o poor_a soul_n which_o they_o have_v see_v to_o be_v wicked_a and_o now_o find_v so_o very_o soon_o to_o pretend_v to_o do_v certain_a thing_n of_o so_o high_a importance_n for_o instant_o she_o resolve_v not_o to_o be_v content_a to_o serve_v our_o lord_n in_o small_a matter_n but_o in_o the_o very_o great_a she_o can_v now_o the_o world_n be_v apt_a to_o conceive_v that_o such_o endeavour_n be_v but_o impertinency_n and_o temptation_n and_o yet_o if_o man_n will_v but_o understand_v and_o consider_v that_o they_o be_v not_o thing_n which_o grow_v from_o themselves_o but_o from_o our_o bless_a lord_n to_o who_o they_o have_v already_o delivered-up_a the_o key_n of_o their_o will_n they_o will_v not_o so_o much_o wonder_n at_o it_o for_o my_o part_n i_o be_o of_o opinion_n that_o a_o soul_n which_o come_v once_o to_o this_o state_n do_v already_o neither_o do_v nor_o even_o say_v any_o thing_n of_o herself_o but_o that_o this_o sovereign_a king_n have_v care_n of_o all_o that_o which_o be_v to_o occur_v o_o my_o dear_a god_n and_o how_o clear_o do_v a_o soul_n see_v here_o the_o sense_n and_o signification_n of_o that_o verse_n and_o how_o it_o be_v to_o be_v understand_v that_o both_o he_o have_v reason_n and_o that_o all_o the_o world_n shall_v also_o have_v it_o to_o desire_v the_o wing_n of_o a_o dove_n for_o it_o be_v easy_o and_o clear_o to_o be_v understand_v of_o that_o flight_n which_o the_o spirit_n make_v whereby_o to_o raise_v itself_o above_o all_o creature_n and_o in_o the_o first_o place_n from_o and_o above_o herself_o but_o this_o be_v a_o sweet_a flight_n a_o gustfull_a and_o pleasant_a flight_n and_o a_o flight_n without_o noise_n what_o kind_n of_o dominion_n do_v such_o a_o soul_n possess_v which_o our_o lord_n do_v once_o conduct_n to_o this_o pitch_n that_o she_o may_v be_v able_a to_o look_v down_o upon_o all_o thing_n without_o be_v once_o entangle_v by_o any_o of_o they_o and_o how_o full_a of_o confusion_n will_v she_o be_v for_o that_o time_n wherein_o she_o be_v entangle_v before_o and_o how_o much_o will_v she_o be_v amaze_v to_o looke-back_a upon_o that_o blindness_n of_o she_o how_o full_a will_v she_o be_v of_o compassion_n for_o such_o as_o do_v yet_o remain_v therein_o especial_o if_o they_o be_v person_n of_o prayer_n and_o such_o as_o it_o please_v god_n to_o regale_n she_o will_v here_o be_v glad_a to_o cry_v out_o very_o loud_a that_o so_o she_o may_v make_v man_n understand_v how_o mighty_o they_o be_v abuse_v and_o deceive_v yea_o and_o so_o she_o also_o do_v sometime_o and_o then_o man_n be_v apt_a to_o rain_v down_o even_o whole_a shower_n of_o persecution_n upon_o her_o head_n and_o they_o treat_v she_o as_o one_o who_o want_v humility_n and_o who_o employ_v herself_o to_o teach_v those_o person_n of_o who_o she_o may_v do_v well_o to_o learn_v and_o especial_o if_o she_o be_v a_o woman_n for_o then_o come_v they_o in_o to_o condemn_v she_o yea_o and_o perhaps_o they_o may_v have_v reason_n because_o they_o know_v not_o by_o what_o impulse_n she_o be_v move_v but_o yet_o as_o she_o know_v not_o how_o to_o help_v herself_o on_o the_o one_o side_n so_o also_o can_v she_o not_o forbear_v on_o the_o other_o to_o unbeguile_v those_o person_n who_o she_o love_v &_o who_o she_o desire_v to_o see_v unfetter_v from_o the_o prison_n of_o this_o life_n for_o that_o state_n wherein_o she_o be_v neither_o seem_v less_o nor_o be_v less_o than_o a_o prison_n she_o be_v also_o much_o afflict_v and_o tire_v out_o with_o the_o thought_n of_o that_o time_n wherein_o she_o take_v any_o care_n of_o point_n of_o honour_n and_o for_o the_o gross_a false_a error_n wherein_o she_o be_v to_o have_v believe_v that_o to_o be_v honour_n which_o the_o world_n call_v honour_n for_o she_o see_v that_o it_o be_v a_o abominable_a lie_n and_o yet_o that_o ever_o ie_fw-fr body_n live_v in_o practice_n of_o that_o false_a doctrine_n but_o now_o this_o soul_n understand_v and_o know_v that_o right_a honour_n be_v not_o false_a but_o true_a esteem_v that_o to_o be_v worth_a somewhat_o which_o indeed_o be_v so_o and_o hold_v that_o which_o indeed_o be_v nothing_o in_o no_o account_n at_o all_o since_o all_o be_v nothing_o and_o less_o than_o nothing_o which_o once_o come_v to_o have_v a_o end_n and_o in_o the_o mean_a time_n do_v not_o please_v almighty_a god_n she_o despise_v also_o and_o laugh_v at_o herself_o for_o the_o time_n wherein_o she_o make_v any_o account_n of_o money_n and_o of_o the_o covetous_a desire_n thereof_o though_o yet_o in_o this_o particular_a i_o do_v not_o believe_v and_o certain_o it_o be_v very_o true_a that_o i_o ever_o have_v any_o fault_n to_o confess_v but_o it_o will_v have_v be_v fault_n enough_o to_o have_v hold_v they_o in_o any_o manner_n of_o account_n if_o with_o they_o i_o have_v be_v able_a to_o buy_v these_o blessing_n which_o now_o i_o find_v in_o myself_o i_o may_v have_v esteem_v they_o very_o much_o but_o now_o the_o soul_n perceive_v that_o this_o blessing_n be_v get_v best_a by_o leave_v all_o thing_n but_o what_o in_o fine_a be_v that_o which_o can_v be_v buy_v with_o this_o money_n which_o we_o so_o much_o desire_v be_v it_o any_o thing_n of_o true_a worth_n be_v it_o any_o thing_n which_o be_v durable_a or_o to_o what_o end_n do_v we_o desire_v it_o a_o miserable_a kind_n of_o supply_n and_o repose_v do_v we_o procure_v by_o that_o which_o cost_v we_o so_o dear_a for_o we_o often_o go_v with_o it_o to_o hell_n and_o we_o buy_v no_o other_o thing_n by_o mean_n thereof_o then_o endless_a torment_n in_o everlasting_a fire_n o_o that_o all_o man_n will_v at_o length_n resolve_v to_o hold_v it_o but_o for_o earth_n which_o be_v good_a for_o nothing_o how_o orderly_o will_v the_o world_n then_o proceed_v how_o free_a will_v all_o place_n be_v from_o unjust_a contract_n &_o how_o sincere_o will_v all_o man_n perform_v act_n of_o friendship_n if_o once_o there_o reign_v no_o interest_n either_o of_o honour_n or_o money_n in_o the_o mind_n of_o man_n for_o my_o part_n i_o conceive_v that_o the_o world_n will_v be_v reduce_v to_o good_a order_n this_o soul_n see_v also_o then_o that_o there_o be_v a_o great_a blindness_n in_o the_o conceit_n which_o man_n frame_v about_o the_o delight_n of_o this_o world_n and_o how_o we_o buy_v nothing_o by_o their_o mean_n even_o for_o this_o very_a life_n which_o we_o lead_v here_o but_o affliction_n and_o disquiet_v how_o great_a disquiet_n and_o how_o little_a contentment_n and_o in_o fine_a what_o a_o deal_n of_o labour_v in_o vain_a and_o here_o be_v the_o soul_n able_a to_o discern_v not_o only_o gross_a cobweb_n and_o great_a fault_n but_o even_o any_o poor_a grain_n of_o dust_n how_o little_a soever_o it_o may_v be_v and_o so_o how_o much_o soever_o she_o may_v have_v labour_v to_o perfect_v herself_o if_o once_o the_o sun_n shine_v bright_a and_o if_o the_o same_o sun_n strike_v it_o through_o with_o those_o beam_n in_o good_a earnest_n she_o will_v find_v it_o to_o be_v dusty_a enough_o it_o be_v like_o a_o glass_n full_a of_o water_n which_o you_o will_v hold_v to_o be_v very_o clear_a and_o pure_a unless_o the_o sun_n shine_v upon_o it_o but_o if_o you_o see_v it_o once_o fall_v upon_o
they_o shall_v not_o speak_v thereof_o but_o this_o serve_v my_o turn_n to_o little_a purpose_n for_o there_o chance_v to_o be_v one_o at_o the_o gate_n when_o i_o be_v call_v who_o publish_v it_o over_o all_o the_o convent_n but_o now_o what_o difficulty_n and_o trouble_n and_o fear_n do_v the_o devil_n use_v to_o provide_v for_o such_o person_n as_o dispose_v themselves_o to_o approach_v to_o almighty_a god_n when_o i_o be_v treat_v with_o that_o servant_n of_o his_o divine_a majesty_n who_o be_v great_o so_o and_o a_o man_n also_o of_o very_o good_a discretion_n about_o the_o passage_n of_o my_o whole_a life_n and_o of_o my_o soul_n he_o declare_v to_o i_o what_o every_o thing_n be_v as_o a_o man_n who_o understand_v that_o language_n very_o well_o and_o he_o encourage_v i_o much_o and_o tell_v i_o that_o it_o be_v evident_o the_o spirit_n of_o almighty_a god_n which_o wrought_v in_o i_o happy_a but_o that_o i_o must_v return_v again_o to_o the_o exercise_n of_o prayer_n because_o i_o be_v not_o well_o ground_v therein_o nor_o have_v so_o much_o as_o begin_v to_o know_v what_o mortification_n mean_v and_o this_o be_v very_o true_a for_o i_o have_v hardly_o ever_o well_o understand_v so_o much_o as_o the_o name_n but_o that_o i_o shall_v by_o no_o mean_n give-ove_a my_o prayer_n but_o rather_o employ_v myself_o with_o more_o diligence_n and_o endeavour_v therein_o since_o almighty_a god_n have_v be_v please_v to_o do_v i_o so_o particular_a favour_n and_o what_o say_v he_o can_v any_o body_n tell_v whether_o it_o may_v not_o please_v our_o lord_n to_o do_v good_a to_o many_o even_o by_o your_o mean_n other_o thing_n also_o he_o say_v in_o such_o sort_n as_o that_o he_o may_v seem_v even_o to_o have_v prophesy_v then_o concern_v those_o thing_n which_o our_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o grant_v and_o effect_n afterward_o and_o i_o shall_v be_v subject_a to_o very_o great_a blame_n if_o i_o correspond_v not_o with_o those_o favour_n which_o our_o lord_n vouchsafe_v to_o show_v i_o in_o all_o thing_n it_o seem_v to_o i_o that_o the_o holy_a ghost_n speak_v to_o i_o by_o this_o father_n in_o order_n to_o the_o cure_n of_o my_o soul_n so_o distinct_o grow_v every_o thing_n to_o be_v imprince_v therein_o he_o put_v i_o to_o great_a confusion_n and_o direct_v i_o by_o such_o mean_n to_o proceed_v that_o he_o seem_v to_o make_v i_o absolute_o even_o another_o creature_n so_o great_a a_o thing_n it_o be_v to_o understand_v a_o soul_n he_o will_v i_o every_o day_n to_o meditate_v upon_o some_o passage_n of_o the_o passion_n of_o our_o bless_a lord_n and_o that_o i_o shall_v help_v myself_o thereby_o and_o that_o i_o shall_v not_o think_v but_o upon_o his_o holy_a humanity_n and_o that_o i_o shall_v resist_v those_o recollection_n and_o gust_n as_o much_o as_o i_o can_v and_o not_o give_v place_n to_o they_o till_o he_o shall_v express_v himself_o to_o i_o by_o some_o other_o order_n he_o leave_v i_o both_o comfort_v and_o strengthen_v and_o our_o lord_n assist_v both_o i_o and_o he_o to_o the_o end_n that_o he_o may_v understand_v my_o condition_n and_o in_o what_o sort_n i_o be_v to_o govern_v myself_o and_o i_o remain_v with_o a_o resolution_n not_o to_o swerve_v at_o all_o from_o any_o thing_n which_o he_o have_v or_o shall_v command_v i_o and_o therein_o have_v i_o continue_v till_o this_o very_a day_n our_o lord_n be_v bless_v and_o praise_v for_o have_v give_v i_o grace_n to_o obey_v my_o ghostly_a father_n though_o yet_o after_o a_o imperfect_a manner_n and_o they_o have_v in_o effect_n ever_o be_v these_o bless_a man_n of_o the_o society_n of_o jesus_n howsoever_o as_o i_o be_v say_v i_o have_v follow_v they_o after_o a_o imperfect_a manner_n but_o now_o my_o soul_n begin_v to_o receive_v a_o evident_a kind_n of_o amendment_n and_o improvement_n as_o i_o will_v here_o declare_v the_o four_o and_o twenty_o chapter_n she_o prosecute_v the_o former_a discourse_n and_o show_n how_o her_o soul_n go_v profit_v when_o once_o she_o have_v begin_v to_o obey_v she_o also_o declare_v for_o how_o little_a purpose_n it_o serve_v to_o resist_v the_o favour_n of_o almighty_a god_n and_o how_o his_o divine_a majesty_n go_v daily_o impart_v they_o to_o she_o after_o a_o more_o complete_a manner_n but_o now_o my_o soul_n remain_v so_o supple_a and_o tractable_a by_o mean_n of_o this_o last_o confession_n of_o i_o that_o i_o think_v there_o can_v be_v nothing_o to_o which_o i_o will_v not_o dispose_v myself_o and_o so_o i_o instant_o begin_v to_o change_v in_o many_o thing_n though_o yet_o my_o ghostly_a father_n do_v not_o soul_n press_v i_o much_o but_o rather_o seem_v to_o make_v little_a account_n of_o they_o and_o this_o wrought_v even_o so_o much_o the_o more_o upon_o i_o for_o he_o carry_v i_o rather_o on_o by_o way_n of_o give_v i_o certain_a liberty_n in_o little_a thing_n then_o of_o pressure_n unlosse_n myself_o can_v find_v in_o my_o hart_n to_o do_v it_o for_o love._n in_o the_o mean_a time_n i_o continue_v upon_o the_o point_n of_o two_o month_n use_v all_o the_o diligence_n that_o possible_o i_o can_v to_o resist_v the_o favour_n and_o regalo_n of_o almighty_a god_n as_o for_o my_o exterior_a conversation_n and_o proceed_v there_o be_v already_o a_o apparent_a change_n to_o be_v see_v in_o i_o for_o already_o our_o bless_a lord_n begin_v to_o give_v i_o courage_n to_o do_v certain_a thing_n which_o the_o person_n who_o see_v and_o know_v i_o hold_v to_o be_v extreme_a and_o even_o in_o the_o very_a house_n itself_o and_o in_o respect_n of_o what_o i_o be_v wont_a to_o do_v before_o they_o may_v indeed_o be_v account_v to_o hang_v that_o way_n though_o yet_o still_o it_o all_o fall_v short_a enough_o of_o that_o to_o which_o i_o be_v oblige_v both_o by_o the_o habit_n which_o i_o have_v take_v and_o by_o the_o profession_n also_o which_o i_o have_v make_v from_o that_o resistance_n which_o i_o make_v to_o the_o gust_n and_o regalo_n of_o almighty_a god_n i_o gain_v thus_o much_o that_o his_o divine_a majesty_n come_v to_o be_v please_v to_o be_v my_o instructor_n himself_o for_o before_o it_o seem_v that_o for_o the_o dispose_n i_o towards_o the_o receive_n of_o any_o such_o regalo_n as_o those_o there_o be_v need_v that_o i_o shall_v retire_v and_o shut_v myself_o as_o it_o be_v up_o into_o corner_n and_o i_o also_o dare_v not_o as_o it_o be_v move_v or_o stir_v but_o afterward_o i_o quick_o find_v how_o little_a all_o that_o serve_v to_o the_o purpose_n for_o when_o i_o procure_v to_o divert_v myself_o most_o so_o much_o the_o more_o do_v our_o bless_a lord_n cover_v i_o as_o it_o be_v all_o over_o with_o that_o kind_n of_o suavitie_n and_o glory_n as_o seem_v even_o to_o compass_v i_o in_o on_o every_o side_n in_o such_o sort_n as_o that_o it_o be_v not_o possible_a for_o i_o to_o escape_v from_o it_o and_o real_o so_o it_o be_v for_o as_o for_o i_o i_o take_v so_o much_o care_n to_o decline_v it_o that_o it_o do_v even_o put_v i_o to_o pain_n and_o yet_o our_o lord_n be_v please_v even_o still_o to_o have_v more_o care_n to_o be_v do_v i_o favour_n and_o to_o express_v himself_o that_o way_n in_o those_o two_o month_n i_o say_v much_o more_o than_o he_o have_v former_o do_v to_o the_o end_n that_o i_o may_v the_o better_a know_v that_o this_o business_n do_v now_o no_o long_o depend_v any_o way_n upon_o myself_o and_o now_o i_o begin_v to_o grow_v to_o carry_v a_o new_a and_o fresh_a kind_n of_o love_n towards_o the_o most_o sacred_a humanity_n of_o our_o bless_a lord_n and_o my_o prayer_n begin_v to_o settle_v itself_o like_o a_o building_n which_o now_o have_v mortar_n in_o it_o that_o may_v make_v the_o part_n stick_v together_o and_o i_o begin_v also_o to_o incline_v myself_o more_o to_o the_o do_v of_o penance_n wherein_o i_o be_v grow_v a_o little_a slack_a by_o reason_n of_o my_o so_o great_a infirmity_n for_o that_o holy_a man_n to_o who_o i_o make_v my_o confession_n tell_v i_o that_o some_o kind_n of_o penance_n which_o he_o name_v will_v do_v i_o no_o hurt_n and_o that_o perhaps_o almighty_a god_n give_v i_o sickness_n in_o the_o quality_n of_o penance_n since_o i_o will_v impose_v none_o upon_o myself_o he_o will_v i_o also_o to_o do_v certain_a act_n of_o mortification_n which_o be_v not_o very_o please_v to_o i_o though_o yet_o i_o went-through_a with_o they_o all_o because_o it_o seem_v to_o i_o as_o if_o our_o lord_n himself_o have_v command_v they_o and_o his_o divine_a majesty_n give_v he_o also_o grace_n to_o direct_v they_o in_o such_o sort_n as_o that_o i_o shall_v be_v glad_a to_o obey_v he_o my_o soul_n go_v then_o
away_o as_o much_o as_o it_o have_v touch_v within_o i_o and_o leave_v all_o that_o which_o remain_v whole_o inflame_v with_o a_o great_a love_n of_o almighty_a god_n the_o pain_n of_o it_o be_v so_o excessive_a that_o it_o force_v i_o to_o utter_v those_o groan_n and_o the_o suavitie_n which_o that_o extremity_n of_o pain_n give_v be_v also_o so_o very_o excessive_a that_o there_o be_v no_o desire_v at_o all_o to_o be_v ride_v of_o it_o nor_o can_v the_o soul_n then_o receive_v any_o contentment_n at_o all_o in_o less_o than_o god_n almighty_a himself_o this_o be_v no_o corporal_n but_o a_o spiritual_a pain_n though_o yet_o the_o body_n do_v not_o fail_v to_o participate_v some_o part_n thereof_o yea_o and_o that_o not_o a_o little_a and_o it_o be_v such_o a_o dear_a delightful_a kind_n of_o intercourse_n which_o pass_v here_o between_o the_o soul_n and_o almighty_a god_n as_o i_o beseech_v he_o of_o his_o infinite_a goodness_n that_o he_o will_v give_v some_o touch_n or_o taste_v of_o it_o to_o whosoever_o shall_v believe_v that_o i_o lie_v during_o the_o time_n when_o i_o be_v in_o this_o state_n i_o go_v up_o and_o down_o that_o world_n like_o a_o odd_a kind_n of_o transport_a fool_n neither_o care_v i_o either_o to_o see_v any_o thing_n or_o to_o speak_v but_o content_v myself_o to_o consume_v with_o burning-up_a in_o my_o pain_n which_o be_v to_o be_v the_o great_a glory_n for_o i_o that_o this_o whole_a world_n can_v afford_v in_o this_o state_n be_v i_o now_o and_o then_o when_o our_o bless_a lord_n be_v please_v that_o these_o so_o very_o great_a rapt_n shall_v come_v upon_o i_o which_o i_o be_v not_o able_a sometime_o to_o resist_v even_o when_o i_o be_v in_o presence_n of_o secular_a people_n and_o so_o they_o grow_v to_o be_v public_a and_o this_o give_v i_o a_o very_a great_a deal_n of_o trouble_n but_o since_o the_o time_n that_o i_o be_o grow_v to_o have_v these_o rapt_n i_o feel_v not_o this_o pain_n so_o much_o as_o that_o other_o whereof_o i_o speak_v before_o though_o yet_o i_o can_v call_v the_o chapter_n to_o mind_n but_o that_o pain_n be_v different_a in_o many_o kind_n and_o of_o more_o value_n also_o than_o this_o or_o rather_o when_o this_o begin_v whereof_o i_o be_o speak_v in_o this_o place_n it_o seem_v that_o our_o lord_n do_v ravish_v and_o run_v away_o as_o it_o be_v with_o the_o soul_n and_o put_v she_o into_o extasis_fw-la out_o of_o hand_n and_o so_o no_o too_o i_o be_v leave_v for_o the_o let_v she_o feel_v any_o pain_n because_o instant_o the_o time_n of_o enjoy_v come_v in_o let_v he_o be_v bless_v for_o ever_o who_o vouchsafe_v to_o impart_v so_o high_a favour_n to_o a_o person_n who_o correspond_v with_o he_o so_o ill_o for_o so_o great_a benefit_n the_o thirty_o chapter_n she_o return_v to_o recount_v the_o course_n of_o her_o life_n and_o how_o our_o lord_n give_v remedy_n to_o many_o of_o her_o trouble_n by_o bring_v that_o holy_a man_n fray_n pedro_n de_fw-fr alcantara_n of_o the_o order_n of_o the_o glorious_a s._n francis_n to_o the_o place_n where_o she_o be_v and_o she_o declare_v the_o great_a temptation_n and_o inward_a trouble_n which_o sometime_o she_o endure_v but_o now_o when_o i_o come_v to_o observe_v the_o little_a or_o nothing_o which_o i_o be_v able_a to_o effect_v towards_o the_o endure_a of_o those_o so_o great_a impulse_n or_o impetuosity_n whereof_o i_o be_v speak_v i_o grow_v to_o be_v in_o great_a fear_n of_o have_v they_o for_o it_o be_v pass_v any_o power_n of_o i_o to_o understand_v how_o pain_n and_o joy_n may_v be_v possible_o able_a to_o consist_v together_o that_o corporal_a pain_n and_o spiritual_a joy_n can_v be_v compatible_a i_o know_v well_o may_v be_v possible_a enough_o but_o that_o so_o excessive_a a_o spiritual_a pain_n shall_v be_v compatible_a with_o so_o excessive_a a_o spiritual_a gust_n do_v put_v i_o half_o as_o it_o be_v out_o of_o my_o wit_n and_o still_o i_o do_v not_o give-ove_a to_o procure_v to_o resist_v the_o arrival_n thereof_o though_o yet_o i_o have_v so_o little_a power_n that_o way_n that_o sometime_o i_o grow_v weary_a even_o of_o the_o endeavour_n i_o defend_v myself_o by_o the_o cross_n and_o so_o procure_v to_o help_v myself_o by_o that_o mean_n from_o he_o who_o give_v we_o all_o defence_n and_o succour_n by_o the_o same_o cross_n i_o see_v that_o no_o creature_n understand_v i_o and_o this_o i_o understand_v very_o clear_o though_o yet_o i_o dare_v not_o say_v so_o to_o any_o body_n but_o my_o ghostly_a father_n for_o that_o indeed_o may_v have_v authorise_v they_o to_o say_v true_o that_o i_o want_v humility_n but_o our_o bless_a lord_n be_v please_v to_o recover_v i_o from_o a_o great_a part_n of_o my_o trouble_n yea_o and_o even_o at_o that_o time_n from_o it_o all_o by_o bring_v that_o bless_a man_n fray_n pedro_n de_fw-fr alcantara_n thither_o of_o who_o i_o make_v mention_v before_o when_o i_o speak_v somewhat_o of_o his_o great_a penance_n and_o now_o i_o also_o remember_v that_o among_o other_o thing_n i_o have_v be_v inform_v that_o for_o twenty_o year_n together_o he_o have_v wear_v upon_o his_o bare_a body_n a_o certain_a garment_n of_o latin_a in_o form_n of_o a_o hair_n cloth_n this_o man_n be_v the_o author_n of_o certain_a little_a treatise_n concern_v prayer_n write_v in_o spanish_a and_o they_o be_v now_o in_o the_o hand_n of_o many_o for_o he_o as_o be_v a_o person_n who_o have_v accustom_v himself_o much_o to_o that_o holy_a exercise_n write_v very_o profitable_o thereof_o for_o they_o who_o live_v in_o the_o observance_n of_o the_o first_o rule_n of_o the_o bless_a s._n francis_n according_a to_o the_o full_a rigour_n of_o the_o same_o when_o therefore_o a_o certain_a widow_n of_o who_o i_o speak_v else_o where_o who_o be_v a_o great_a servant_n of_o almighty_a god_n and_o a_o particular_a friend_n of_o i_o come_v to_o know_v that_o so_o great_a a_o man_n be_v there_o with_o i_o and_o know_v also_o the_o great_a necessity_n wherein_o i_o be_v as_o have_v be_v the_o witness_n of_o my_o affliction_n and_o have_v comfort_v i_o in_o several_a occasion_n for_o her_o faith_n be_v ever_o so_o great_a that_o she_o can_v never_o in_o fine_a believe_v but_o that_o it_o be_v the_o spirit_n of_o almighty_a god_n which_o all_o the_o rest_n will_v needs_o have_v to_o be_v the_o devil_n and_o consider_v also_o that_o she_o be_v a_o person_n of_o very_a good_a understanding_n and_o of_o great_a secrecy_n withal_o and_o one_o to_o who_o our_o lord_n vouchsafe_v to_o do_v great_a favour_n in_o prayer_n his_o divine_a majesty_n be_v please_v to_o give_v her_o knowledge_n of_o those_o thing_n whereof_o they_o who_o be_v learned_a be_v whole_o ignorant_a my_o ghostly_a father_n than_o give_v i_o leave_v that_o i_o may_v ease_v myself_o in_o some_o thing_n with_o she_o for_o she_o be_v capable_a many_o way_n to_o understand_v they_o for_o sometime_o it_o have_v come_v to_o her_o turn_n to_o enjoy_v even_o some_o of_o those_o very_a favour_n which_o our_o lord_n have_v also_o vouchsafe_v to_o afford_v i_o together_o with_o certain_a advertisment_n which_o he_o have_v also_o give_v she_o for_o the_o good_a of_o her_o soul_n but_o now_o as_o soon_o as_o fray_n pedro_n come_v to_o know_v of_o my_o design_n he_o do_v without_o say_v any_o thing_n to_o i_o desire_v and_o get_v leave_v of_o my_o provincial_n that_o i_o may_v remain_v with_o she_o in_o her_o house_n for_o a_o matter_n of_o some_o eight_o day_n and_o so_o both_o there_o and_o in_o several_a church_n i_o speak_v with_o he_o diverse_a time_n in_o that_o first_o occasion_n of_o my_o be_v there_o for_o i_o communicate_v my_o affair_n with_o he_o also_o afterward_o in_o sundry_a occasion_n at_o which_o time_n i_o give_v he_o likewise_o account_v of_o my_o life_n though_o yet_o but_o in_o a_o summarie_a way_n and_o of_o the_o manner_n of_o my_o proceed_n in_o prayer_n and_o this_o with_o the_o great_a claritie_n which_o i_o can_v possible_o use_v for_o this_o property_n i_o ever_o have_v to_o treat_v with_o all_o claritie_n and_o truth_n with_o they_o to_o who_o i_o impart_v my_o soul_n yea_o and_o i_o still_o desire_v that_o even_o the_o first_o motion_n of_o my_o hart_n may_v be_v make_v know_v to_o they_o and_o as_o for_o such_o thing_n as_o may_v be_v subject_a any_o way_n to_o suspicion_n or_o doubt_v i_o still_o be_v wont_a to_o argue_v they_o proceed_v against_o myself_o with_o the_o strong_a reason_n that_o i_o can_v bring_v so_o that_o i_o impart_v my_o soul_n to_o this_o father_n without_o any_o manner_n of_o duplicitie_n or_o disguise_n at_o all_o and_o i_o find_v that_o he_o understand_v i_o almost_o even_o at_o
too_o much_o if_o any_o such_o thing_n can_v be_v find_v in_o it_o as_o may_v put_v i_o into_o any_o fear_n of_o the_o inquisition_n that_o if_o i_o think_v there_o be_v any_o ground_n or_o cause_n myself_o will_v be_v the_o first_o to_o go_v thither_o and_o that_o if_o it_o be_v a_o slander_n raise_v up_o against_o i_o our_o lord_n will_v deliver_v i_o from_o it_o and_o i_o shall_v prove_v the_o gainer_n by_o that_o bargain_n now_o i_o treat_v of_o this_o matter_n with_o the_o dominican_n father_n who_o as_o i_o say_v be_v so_o very_o learned_a a_o man_n that_o i_o may_v well_o assure_v myself_o upon_o whatsoever_o he_o shall_v declare_v to_o i_o herein_o and_o i_o tell_v he_o then_o upon_o this_o occasion_n with_o the_o great_a clearness_n that_o i_o can_v possible_o use_v of_o all_o the_o vision_n which_o i_o have_v have_v and_o of_o the_o manner_n of_o prayer_n which_o i_o have_v use_v and_o of_o the_o great_a favour_n which_o our_o bless_a lord_n have_v be_v please_v to_o do_v i_o and_o i_o humble_o pray_v he_o to_o consider_v all_o these_o thing_n very_o well_o and_o to_o let_v i_o understand_v if_o there_o be_v any_o thing_n at_o all_o in_o any_o of_o they_o against_o holy_a scripture_n and_o that_o also_o he_o will_v acquaint_v i_o with_o the_o judgement_n which_o he_o make_v thereof_o now_o all_o this_o he_o do_v and_o so_o settle_v and_o secure_v i_o very_o much_o and_o i_o grow_v to_o be_v also_o of_o opinion_n that_o this_o accident_n be_v of_o much_o advantage_n even_o to_o he_o for_o though_o he_o be_v former_o very_o good_a yet_o he_o give_v himself_o much_o more_o to_o prayer_n from_o that_o time_n forward_o and_o withdraw_v himself_o to_o a_o certain_a retire_a monastery_n of_o his_o own_o order_n which_o be_v a_o place_n of_o great_a solitude_n and_o silence_n to_o the_o end_n that_o so_o he_o may_v exercise_v himself_o the_o better_a in_o prayer_n he_o remain_v there_o above_o two_o year_n and_o then_o obedience_n to_o his_o order_n take_v he_o from_o thence_o for_o which_o he_o be_v sorry_a enough_o but_o they_o have_v need_n of_o such_o a_o man_n as_o he_o be_v &_o i_o be_v no_o less_o grieve_v when_o he_o go_v from_o i_o through_o the_o great_a want_n which_o i_o be_v sure_a i_o shall_v have_v of_o he_o though_o yet_o i_o know_v withal_o that_o he_o will_v be_v a_o gainer_n by_o it_o and_o whilst_o i_o be_v in_o pain_n about_o his_o journey_n our_o lord_n bid_v i_o be_v comfort_v and_o not_o trouble_v for_o that_o he_o go_v away_o to_o good_a purpose_n and_o indeed_o he_o come_v back_o again_o afterward_o with_o his_o soul_n so_o well_o improve_v and_o advance_v in_o the_o way_n of_o spirit_n that_o himself_o tell_v i_o at_o his_o return_n how_o he_o will_v not_o for_o any_o thing_n of_o this_o world_n but_o that_o he_o have_v go_v and_o i_o also_o can_v say_v the_o same_o for_o whereas_o he_o have_v former_o give_v i_o assurance_n and_o comfort_n but_o only_o by_o his_o letter_n he_o be_v now_o grow_v able_a to_o do_v it_o also_o through_o the_o great_a experience_n which_o he_o be_v come_v to_o have_v in_o spirit_n and_o of_o supernatural_a thing_n and_o it_o also_o please_v almighty_a god_n to_o bring_v he_o back_o to_o we_o at_o such_o a_o time_n as_o when_o his_o divine_a majesty_n see_v that_o there_o will_v be_v need_n of_o he_o for_o assist_v his_o work_n concern_v this_o monastery_n which_o his_o will_n be_v shall_v go_v forward_o but_o in_o the_o mean_a time_n i_o remain_v in_o silence_n for_o a_o matter_n of_o some_o five_o or_o six_o month_n not_o hear_v or_o say_v any_o thing_n of_o this_o business_n nor_o do_v our_o bless_a lord_n command_v i_o any_o thing_n about_o it_o nor_o understand_v i_o the_o reason_n thereof_o but_o yet_o still_o i_o can_v not_o part_v with_o the_o beleif_n but_o that_o the_o business_n will_v be_v do_v soon_o or_o late_a but_o at_o the_o end_n of_o that_o time_n aforesaid_a the_o rectour_n of_o the_o college_n of_o the_o society_n of_o jesus_n who_o have_v be_v there_o till_o then_o be_v now_o to_o remove_v from_o hence_o his_o divine_a majesty_n bring_v another_o to_o be_v in_o his_o place_n who_o be_v a_o very_a spiritual_a person_n and_o of_o great_a courage_n and_o understanding_n and_o learning_n and_o he_o come_v at_o a_o certain_a time_n when_o i_o be_v in_o very_o great_a need_n of_o help_n for_o in_o regard_n that_o he_o who_o be_v my_o ghostly_a father_n have_v a_o superior_a over_o himself_o and_o by_o reason_n that_o they_o have_v this_o virtue_n in_o perfection_n not_o so_o much_o as_o once_o to_o stir_v but_o in_o conformity_n to_o the_o will_n of_o their_o superior_n and_o though_o this_o ghostly_a father_n of_o i_o have_v a_o very_a good_a understanding_n of_o my_o spirit_n and_o desire_v that_o i_o may_v profit_v &_o proceed_v he_o yet_o adventure_v not_o to_o conclude_v some_o thing_n with_o a_o firm_a resolution_n for_o diverse_a reason_n which_o he_o have_v for_o it_o and_o on_o the_o other_o side_n my_o spirit_n do_v press_v already_o to_o pass_v on_o with_o certain_a impulse_n and_o impetuosity_n which_o be_v so_o great_a that_o i_o find_v it_o a_o very_a troublesome_a thing_n to_o be_v tie_v short_a and_o yet_o for_o all_o this_o i_o resolve_v not_o to_o exceed_v those_o bound_n at_o all_o which_o he_o have_v prescribe_v and_o be_v one_o day_n in_o much_o affliction_n as_o conceave_a that_o my_o ghostly_a father_n do_v not_o believe_v i_o it_o please_v our_o b._n lord_n to_o require_v i_o not_o to_o trouble_v myself_o affirm_v that_o that_o difficulty_n will_v be_v soon_o at_o a_o end_n for_o my_o part_n i_o be_v much_o joy_v by_o this_o as_o conceave_a that_o i_o be_v quick_o to_o die_v and_o i_o be_v wont_n particular_o to_o rejoice_v when_o i_o remember_v it_o but_o afterward_o i_o see_v clear_o that_o his_o speech_n concern_v the_o come_n of_o this_o new_a rectour_n of_o who_o i_o speak_v and_o afterward_o i_o never_o have_v any_o occasion_n to_o be_v in_o pain_n in_o regard_n that_o this_o say_v new_a rectour_n contradict_v not_o the_o sub-rectour_a who_o be_v my_o confessarius_fw-la but_o rather_o man_n direct_v he_o to_o give_v i_o comfort_n and_o scope_n and_o that_o there_o be_v no_o cause_n of_o fear_n and_o that_o he_o shall_v not_o conduct_v my_o soul_n by_o such_o straight_a &_o narrow_a way_n and_o with_o such_o restriction_n but_o shall_v permit_v the_o spirit_n of_o our_o lord_n to_o work_v in_o i_o for_o indeed_o at_o some_o time_n it_o seem_v that_o by_o reason_n of_o those_o great_a impetuosity_n of_o spirit_n the_o soul_n have_v scarce_o room_n for_o so_o much_o as_o to_o breath_n i_o go_v then_o to_o visit_v this_o rectour_n and_o my_o ghostly_a father_n require_v i_o to_o treat_v with_o he_o with_o all_o liberty_n and_o clearness_n as_o for_o i_o i_o be_v wont_a to_o find_v very_o great_a difficulty_n to_o declare_v myself_o in_o that_o kind_n but_o yet_o real_o it_o be_v very_o true_a that_o even_o at_o my_o very_a first_o entrance_n into_o the_o confessionarie_n i_o feel_v a_o kind_n of_o i_o can_v tell_v what_o to_o call_v it_o in_o my_o spirit_n which_o i_o remember_v not_o myself_o to_o have_v ever_o find_v by_o occasion_n of_o any_o creature_n either_o before_o or_o after_o nor_o can_v i_o distinct_o tell_v how_o it_o be_v nor_o yet_o be_o i_o able_a to_o express_v it_o full_o by_o any_o way_n of_o comparison_n but_o it_o be_v a_o certain_a spiritual_a joy_n and_o a_o kind_n of_o understanding_n which_o my_o soul_n have_v that_o the_o soul_n of_o that_o man_n will_v be_v able_a to_o understand_v i_o and_o that_o there_o will_v be_v a_o kind_n of_o conformity_n in_o judgement_n between_o we_o two_o although_o as_o i_o be_v say_v i_o understand_v not_o how_o if_o indeed_o i_o have_v ever_o speak_v with_o he_o before_o or_o if_o other_o have_v peradventure_o give_v i_o any_o great_a news_n of_o the_o man_n it_o have_v not_o be_v very_o strange_a that_o it_o shall_v joy_v i_o when_o i_o come_v to_o understand_v that_o he_o be_v to_o hear_v i_o but_o neither_o he_o nor_o i_o have_v ever_o speak_v word_n to_o one_o another_o nor_o be_v there_o any_o one_o by_o who_o mean_n i_o have_v ever_o have_v any_o notice_n at_o all_o of_o he_o and_o yet_o since_o that_o time_n i_o have_v see_v very_o well_o that_o my_o spirit_n deceive_v i_o not_o because_o it_o have_v be_v of_o great_a advantage_n in_o all_o kind_n both_o to_o my_o soul_n and_o i_o to_o treat_v with_o he_o for_o his_o kind_n of_o conversation_n and_o way_n of_o conference_n and_o communication_n be_v a_o thing_n of_o great_a importance_n for_o such_o person_n as_o
our_o lord_n seem_v to_o have_v forward_v much_o in_o the_o way_n of_o spirit_n for_o he_o make_v they_o runne-on_a apace_o and_o not_o go_v foot_n by_o foot_n and_o his_o manner_n be_v to_o untie_v they_o sound_o and_o total_o from_o all_o creature_n and_o to_o put_v they_o to_o the_o exercise_n and_o practice_v of_o mortification_n for_o in_o this_o our_o bless_a lord_n have_v impart_v a_o most_o particular_a talon_n to_o he_o as_o he_o have_v also_o do_v in_o many_o other_o thing_n now_o as_o soon_o as_o i_o begin_v to_o communicate_v my_o affair_n with_o he_o i_o instant_o understand_v his_o stile_n and_o way_n of_o proceed_v and_o i_o find_v that_o he_o have_v a_o holy_a and_o pure_a soul_n and_o that_o our_o lord_n have_v give_v he_o a_o particular_a talent_n in_o the_o try_v and_o know_v of_o spirit_n so_o that_o i_o be_v comfort_v both_o much_o and_o very_o soon_o after_o i_o have_v once_o communicate_v with_o he_o and_o our_o bless_a lord_n begin_v again_o to_o press_v i_o towards_o a_o treat_v of_o the_o business_n of_o the_o monastery_n and_o that_o i_o shall_v declare_v both_o to_o my_o ghostly_a father_n and_o to_o this_o rectour_n the_o many_o ground_n and_o reason_n why_o they_o be_v not_o to_o dissuade_v and_o divert_v i_o from_o it_o and_o some_o of_o they_o make_v they_o hearty_o afraid_a to_o do_v it_o for_o this_o father_n rectour_n never_o do_v so_o much_o as_o doubt_v but_o that_o it_o be_v the_o spirit_n of_o almighty_a god_n because_o he_o have_v behold_v and_o consider_v the_o effect_n with_o very_o great_a study_n and_o care_n in_o fine_a after_o the_o consideration_n of_o many_o thing_n they_o dare_v not_o presume_v to_o divert_v i_o and_o my_o ghostly_a father_n do_v again_o give_v i_o leave_v to_o use_v all_o the_o endeavour_n i_o can_v and_o yet_o i_o be_v able_a to_o see_v very_o well_o what_o a_o great_a deal_n of_o trouble_n it_o will_v give_v i_o in_o regard_n i_o be_v so_o utter_o alone_a and_o have_v very_o little_a power_n to_o effect_v any_o thing_n but_o we_o agree_v that_o it_o shall_v be_v carry_v with_o great_a privacy_n and_o therefore_o i_o procure_v that_o a_o certain_a sister_n of_o i_o who_o live_v elsewhere_a shall_v buy_v and_o build_v the_o house_n as_o if_o it_o be_v for_o herself_o and_o that_o it_o shall_v be_v do_v with_o money_n which_o our_o lord_n find_v mean_n by_o certain_a way_n wherewith_o to_o pay_v for_o it_o but_o it_o will_v be_v a_o long_a business_n to_o tell_v you_o how_o his_o divine_a majesty_n go_v provide_v it_o for_o as_o for_o i_o i_o desire_v to_o be_v very_o sure_a to_o do_v nothing_o which_o may_v be_v against_o obedience_n but_o i_o be_v not_o then_o to_o learn_v that_o if_o i_o tell_v any_o thing_n to_o the_o superior_n of_o my_o order_n the_o whole_a business_n will_v be_v lose_v as_o it_o be_v before_o yea_o and_o that_o if_o i_o do_v so_o now_o it_o will_v fallout_a to_o be_v worse_o in_o the_o point_n of_o get_v money_n for_o make_v the_o bargain_n for_o a_o seat_n and_o for_o build_v also_o the_o house_n i_o endure_v many_o trouble_n and_o some_o of_o they_o all_o alone_a though_o yet_o my_o companion_n and_o friend_n do_v also_o the_o best_a she_o can_v but_o in_o fine_a she_o can_v do_v little_a and_o indeed_o so_o very_o little_a that_o upon_o the_o matter_n it_o be_v a_o kind_n of_o nothing_o but_o only_o to_o take_v upon_o she_o the_o name_n and_o to_o lend_v it_o her_o countenance_n for_o all_o the_o rest_n of_o the_o trouble_n i_o be_v i_o and_o it_o come_v upon_o i_o so_o very_a many_o way_n that_o i_o do_v even_o wonder_v now_o how_o i_o be_v able_a to_o endure_v it_o then_o sometime_o when_o i_o be_v full_a of_o affliction_n i_o will_v be_v utter_v myself_o to_o almighty_a god_n after_o this_o manner_n o_o my_o dear_a lord_n how_o come_v thou_o to_o command_v i_o thing_n which_o seem_v impossible_a for_o though_o i_o be_v a_o woman_n yet_o if_o i_o have_v liberty_n perhaps_o something_o may_v be_v do_v but_o be_v tie_v up_o in_o 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which_o that_o bless_a saint_n establish_v in_o her_o house_n be_v exercise_v also_o in_o this_o and_o we_o live_v of_o alm_n which_o point_n have_v cost_v i_o no_o small_a trouble_n in_o get_v it_o confirm_v by_o his_o holiness_n and_o to_o be_v further_o also_o establish_v in_o such_o sort_n as_o that_o no_o innovation_n may_v be_v make_v not_o the_o house_n be_v ever_o capable_a of_o rent_n and_o now_o do_v our_o bless_a lord_n even_o more_o than_o this_o and_o perhaps_o the_o same_o may_v grow_v by_o the_o intercession_n of_o this_o bless_a saint_n for_o his_o divine_a majesty_n provide_v we_o with_o all_o thing_n necessary_a in_o most_o complete_a manner_n without_o our_o ever_o ask_v any_o thing_n of_o any_o creature_n let_v he_o be_v bless_v for_o all_o thing_n amen_n but_o i_o be_v about_o that_o time_n upon_o the_o day_n of_o the_o assumption_n of_o our_o b._n lady_n in_o a_o certain_a monastery_n of_o the_o glorious_a s._n dominick_n order_n i_o be_v consider_v the_o many_o sin_n of_o my_o former_a time_n which_o i_o have_v confess_v in_o that_o house_n and_o the_o accident_n of_o my_o wicked_a life_n and_o sudden_o there_o come_v so_o great_a a_o rapt_v upon_o i_o that_o it_o take_v i_o in_o effect_n whole_o out_o of_o myself_o i_o than_o sit_v down_o and_o yet_o it_o seem_v to_o i_o that_o i_o be_v not_o able_a either_o to_o hear_v mass_n or_o so_o much_o as_o to_o see_v the_o elevation_n for_o which_o i_o remain_v afterward_o with_o some_o scruple_n now_o it_o seem_v to_o i_o that_o
which_o howsoever_o i_o understand_v they_o not_o myself_o do_v yet_o fall_v out_o so_o fit_o for_o he_o that_o he_o be_v even_o amaze_v and_o our_o lord_n dispose_v he_o to_o believe_v that_o they_o come_v from_o his_o divine_a majesty_n and_o i_o on_o the_o other_o side_n though_o i_o be_v that_o poor_a miserable_a creature_n which_o i_o be_o do_v humble_o and_o earnest_o beseech_v our_o lord_n that_o he_o will_v perfect_o and_o entire_o convert_v that_o man_n to_o himself_o and_o make_v he_o abhor_v all_o the_o contentment_n and_o creature_n of_o this_o life_n and_o so_o for_o which_o let_v he_o be_v bless_v for_o ever_o he_o have_v be_v please_v to_o do_v it_o and_o that_o in_o so_o very_o perfect_a a_o manner_n that_o whensoever_o this_o servant_n of_o he_o be_v speak_v to_o i_o it_o make_v i_o in_o effect_n turn_v half_a fool_n and_o if_o i_o have_v not_o see_v it_o with_o my_o very_a eye_n i_o shall_v hold_v it_o for_o a_o doubtful_a thing_n how_o favour_n can_v possible_o be_v 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exterior_a and_o in_o the_o interior_a way_n so_o far_o as_o it_o may_v carry_v a_o conformity_n with_o the_o natural_a power_n by_o the_o work_n of_o his_o understanding_n and_o as_o for_o those_o thing_n which_o be_v supernatural_a he_o must_v be_v careful_a that_o all_o go_v on_o with_o consent_n to_o holy_a scripture_n and_o for_o the_o rest_n let_v he_o not_o vex_v himself_o nor_o conceive_v that_o he_o understand_v that_o whereof_o indeed_o he_o know_v nothing_o nor_o stifle_v and_o choke_v those_o spirit_n which_o forasmuch_o as_o concern_v these_o thing_n be_v govern_v by_o another_o and_o a_o high_a lord_n for_o in_o fine_a they_o be_v not_o without_o a_o superior_a of_o their_o own_o be_v not_o amaze_v at_o this_o nor_o let_v these_o thing_n seem_v impossible_a to_o you_o for_o all_o be_v very_o possible_a to_o our_o lord_n but_o procure_v you_o to_o reinforce_v your_o faith_n and_o to_o humble_v yourself_o when_o you_o see_v that_o our_o bless_a lord_n know_v how_o to_o 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proceed_v and_o profit_n in_o the_o way_n of_o spirit_n our_o lord_n have_v already_o manifest_v some_o thing_n to_o the_o world_n by_o real_a proof_n i_o have_v also_o hear_v former_o of_o he_o but_o they_o be_v many_o instance_n which_o concern_v the_o person_n of_o who_o i_o speak_v before_o and_o one_o of_o they_o i_o will_v here_o recount_v i_o be_v once_o with_o he_o in_o a_o locutorie_a or_o speaking-place_n of_o a_o monastery_n and_o so_o very_o great_a be_v the_o love_n of_o almighty_a god_n which_o my_o soul_n and_o spirit_n understand_v to_o be_v even_o burn_v in_o his_o that_o i_o be_v even_o as_o it_o be_v
society_n of_o jesus_n for_o i_o find_v myself_o very_o happy_a in_o he_o but_o yet_o when_o i_o see_v that_o i_o be_v to_o want_v that_o comfort_n for_o the_o love_n of_o our_o lord_n it_o give_v i_o contentment_n to_o loose_v he_o and_o yet_o still_o i_o can_v not_o well_o understand_v how_o this_o may_v be_v for_o i_o see_v plain_o that_o these_o contraries_n be_v in_o i_o at_o once_o to_o be_v delight_v to_o be_v comfort_v and_o to_o be_v joy_v by_o that_o which_o yet_o do_v cost_v i_o sorrow_n at_o the_o very_a hart_n for_o on_o the_o one_o side_n i_o be_v ease_v and_o accommodate_v with_o mean_n and_o time_n to_o have_v many_o hour_n of_o prayer_n and_o on_o the_o other_o i_o see_v plain_o that_o i_o be_v to_o cast_v myself_o into_o a_o kind_n of_o fire_n for_o already_o our_o lord_n have_v foretell_v i_o as_o much_o and_o that_o i_o go_v to_o undergo_v and_o carry_v a_o heavy_a cross_n though_o yet_o indeed_o i_o never_o conceive_v that_o it_o can_v possible_o have_v prove_v so_o very_o heavy_a as_o i_o find_v it_o to_o be_v afterward_o but_o yet_o howsoever_o i_o go_v so_o cheerful_o on_o that_o i_o account_v myself_o even_o to_o be_v destroy_v in_o regard_n that_o i_o can_v not_o cast_v myself_o instant_o into_o the_o battle_n since_o our_o lord_n have_v a_o mind_n that_o i_o shall_v undertake_v it_o and_o so_o his_o divine_a majesty_n give_v i_o strength_n and_o fetch_v it_o even_o out_o of_o my_o very_a weakness_n i_o know_v not_o well_o i_o say_v how_o this_o can_v be_v but_o yet_o i_o grow_v to_o think_v upon_o this_o comparison_n if_o i_o possess_v some_o rich_a jewel_n or_o any_o thing_n else_o which_o give_v i_o great_a contentment_n it_o shall_v happen_v to_o i_o to_o know_v that_o some_o person_n who_o i_o love_v even_o better_o than_o myself_o desire_v to_o have_v it_o and_o that_o i_o aspire_v more_o to_o content_v he_o then_o to_o please_v myself_o it_o will_v fall_v out_o in_o that_o case_n that_o i_o shall_v enjoy_v more_o contentment_n without_o that_o very_a thing_n than_o i_o enjoy_v before_o by_o the_o possession_n thereof_o since_o it_o prove_v to_o give_v contentment_n to_o that_o person_n and_o therefore_o now_o since_o the_o contentment_n which_o i_o have_v in_o content_v he_o exceed_v my_o own_o proper_a contentment_n the_o trouble_n which_o i_o may_v have_v by_o want_v the_o jewel_n or_o even_o any_o other_o thing_n which_o i_o can_v love_v be_v take_v away_o and_o so_o also_o will_v the_o sense_n of_o that_o contentment_n be_v which_o it_o give_v i_o before_o so_o that_o howsoever_o i_o shall_v have_v be_v in_o pain_n to_o leave_v such_o person_n as_o be_v so_o great_o trouble_v for_o my_o part_n from_o they_o the_o rather_o in_o regard_n that_o i_o be_o even_o in_o condition_n and_o nature_n so_o very_o grateful_a for_o the_o favour_n which_o be_v do_v i_o and_o therefore_o this_o accident_n if_o it_o have_v arrive_v at_o some_o other_o time_n will_v have_v afflict_v i_o much_o yet_o now_o the_o case_n be_v such_o that_o i_o can_v not_o be_v trouble_v at_o it_o even_o though_o i_o will_v it_o fall_v out_o also_o in_o very_a deed_n to_o import_v so_o very_a much_o that_o i_o shall_v not_o have_v stay_v there_o one_o day_n long_o for_o as_o much_o as_o concern_v the_o business_n of_o this_o bless_a house_n that_o i_o know_v not_o how_o it_o can_v possible_o have_v be_v conclude_v if_o i_o have_v not_o go_v away_o just_a at_o that_o time_n o_o greatness_n of_o almighty_a god_n for_o i_o be_o even_o amaze_v when_o i_o consider_v it_o but_o now_o i_o discern_v very_o well_o that_o his_o divine_a majesty_n have_v a_o particular_a care_n to_o help_v i_o to_o the_o end_n that_o we_o may_v settle_v and_o secure_a this_o poor_a little_a corner_n word_n of_o god_n for_o real_o i_o hold_v it_o to_o be_v such_o and_o that_o it_o be_v a_o habitation_n wherein_o his_o divine_a majesty_n be_v delight_v as_o he_o tell_v i_o himself_o once_o when_o i_o be_v in_o prayer_n that_o this_o house_n be_v even_o the_o very_a paradise_n of_o his_o delight_n and_o so_o very_o agreable_o to_o this_o he_o have_v bring_v certain_a soul_n hither_o in_o who_o company_n now_o i_o live_v with_o very_o great_a saint_n confusion_n to_o myself_o for_o it_o will_v not_o have_v be_v in_o my_o power_n to_o have_v so_o much_o as_o wish_v for_o such_o as_o they_o be_v in_o order_n to_o this_o holy_a end_n they_o be_v person_n of_o so_o great_a austerity_n and_o poverty_n and_o prayer_n and_o carry_v all_o this_o weight_n with_o such_o a_o deal_n of_o contentment_n and_o gust_n that_o there_o be_v not_o one_o creature_n in_o all_o the_o company_n who_o do_v not_o hold_v herself_o for_o whole_o undeseruing_a to_o have_v approach_v to_o such_o a_o place_n as_o this_o and_o especial_o some_o in_o particular_a who_o our_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o call_v from_o out_o of_o the_o gallanterie_n and_o vanity_n of_o the_o world_n where_o according_a to_o the_o law_n of_o this_o life_n they_o may_v have_v have_v contentment_n enough_o but_o now_o our_o bless_a lord_n have_v give_v they_o the_o same_o contentment_n so_o far_o enlarge_v and_o increase_v as_o make_v it_o to_o be_v most_o clear_o see_v that_o even_o here_o they_o have_v a_o hundred_o for_o one_o in_o comparison_n of_o what_o they_o leave_v for_o his_o sake_n and_o now_o they_o can_v never_o satisfy_v themselves_o with_o give_v he_o most_o humble_a thanks_n for_o so_o high_a a_o favour_n he_o have_v also_o change_v other_o from_o good_a to_o better_a to_o such_o as_o be_v very_o young_a he_o give_v both_o courage_n and_o knowledge_n to_o the_o end_n that_o they_o may_v desire_v nothing_o else_o and_o that_o they_o may_v true_o understand_v that_o to_o be_v sever_v from_o all_o thing_n of_o this_o life_n be_v even_o here_o a_o very_a enjoy_n of_o more_o repose_n to_o they_o who_o be_v of_o more_o year_n and_o less_o health_n he_o give_v such_o a_o degree_n of_o strength_n as_o that_o they_o may_v be_v able_a to_o endure_v the_o same_o austerity_n of_o penance_n which_o the_o rest_n of_o the_o community_n undergo_v o_o my_o dear_a lord_n and_o how_o well_o do_v it_o now_o appear_v that_o thou_o be_v powerful_a nor_o be_v there_o any_o need_n to_o seek_v out_o reason_n and_o way_n for_o thy_o do_v whatsoever_o thou_o desire_v for_o even_o above_o the_o discourse_n of_o our_o natural_a reason_n thou_o make_v all_o thing_n very_o possible_a and_o give_v we_o to_o understand_v very_o well_o that_o in_o fine_a we_o have_v need_n of_o no_o more_o then_o to_o love_v thou_o in_o good_a earnest_n and_o to_o leave_v all_o thing_n in_o good_a earnest_n for_o thou_o but_o indeed_o it_o must_v be_v do_v in_o good_a earnest_n to_o the_o end_n that_o thou_o o_o my_o lord_n and_o my_o god_n may_v make_v all_o thing_n easy_a to_o us._n and_o here_o it_o may_v come_v handsome_o in_o that_o thou_o do_v but_o as_o it_o be_v feign_v or_o counterfeit_v the_o infusion_n of_o a_o kind_n of_o difficulty_n upon_o the_o observe_n of_o thy_o law_n for_o as_o for_o i_o i_o can_v find_v o_o my_o lord_n where_o indeed_o that_o difficulty_n be_v nor_o how_o that_o way_n can_v be_v account_v strict_a or_o hard_o which_o conduct_n we_o to_o thou_o but_o i_o rather_o plain_o see_v that_o it_o be_v a_o fair_a and_o royal_a way_n and_o no_o obscure_a and_o paltry_a little_a path_n but_o a_o way_n wherein_o every_o body_n go_v safe_a who_o will_v put_v himself_o in_o good_a earnest_n upon_o the_o journey_n for_o all_o doubtful_a passage_n and_o rock_n wherein_o one_o may_v be_v in_o danger_n to_o catch_v a_o fall_n be_v find_v to_o be_v very_o far_o off_o from_o hence_o in_o regard_n that_o here_o we_o be_v so_o very_o remote_a from_o all_o occasion_n of_o sinne._n but_o i_o call_v that_o other_o a_o path_n and_o a_o wicked_a path_n and_o a_o narrow_a and_o very_o dangerous_a way_n which_o on_o the_o one_o side_n have_v a_o huge_a deep_a valley_n into_o which_o one_o may_v fall_v and_o on_o the_o other_o a_o hideous_a rock_n with_o a_o precipice_n from_o whence_o upon_o a_o very_a instant_n ere_o he_o be_v aware_a he_o may_v break_v his_o neck_n and_o his_o bone_n into_o a_o thousand_o piece_n he_o who_o love_v thou_o o_o thou_o my_o eternal_a good_a with_o reality_n of_o truth_n go_v secure_o by_o a_o royal_a safe_a and_o large_a way_n which_o lie_v far_o from_o all_o such_o precipice_n of_o danger_n and_o no_o soon_o have_v such_o a_o one_o trip_v never_o so_o little_a but_o instant_o thou_o o_o lord_n lend_v he_o thy_o hand_n to_o help_v he_o up_o nor_o will_v even_o a_o fall_n nor_o many_o fall_v be_v his_o
that_o time_n to_o give_v they_o the_o habit._n but_o now_o since_o the_o house_n where_o the_o monastery_n fall_v out_o to_o be_v make_v be_v that_o wherein_o my_o brother-in-law_n have_v dwell_v before_o for_o he_o as_o i_o say_v have_v buy_v it_o the_o better_a to_o disguise_v this_o business_n i_o have_v leave_v to_o stay_v there_o and_o i_o do_v nothing_o at_o all_o but_o by_o the_o opinion_n of_o learned_a man_n that_o so_o i_o may_v be_v sure_a not_o to_o depart_v one_o hair_n breadth_n from_o my_o obedience_n and_o when_o they_o see_v that_o the_o thing_n be_v to_o be_v so_o advantageous_a to_o the_o whole_a order_n in_o many_o respect_n they_o tell_v i_o i_o may_v do_v as_o i_o do_v though_o yet_o it_o be_v fit_a to_o proceed_v with_o great_a reservation_n and_o secrecy_n and_o to_o take_v care_n that_o my_o superior_n may_v not_o know_v what_o i_o be_v do_v for_o how_o little_a soever_o the_o imperfection_n have_v be_v which_o i_o must_v have_v commit_v therein_o i_o conceive_v that_o i_o will_v have_v given-ove_a the_o erect_n i_o say_v not_o of_o one_o monastery_n but_o of_o a_o thousand_o rather_o than_o have_v fall_v into_o it_o and_o this_o be_v certain_a and_o though_o i_o desire_v to_o sever_v myself_o whole_o from_o the_o world_n that_o so_o i_o may_v follow_v my_o profession_n and_o call_v with_o more_o perfection_n and_o clausure_n i_o desire_v it_o yet_o in_o such_o sort_n as_o that_o whensoever_o i_o shall_v come_v to_o understand_v that_o it_o be_v to_o be_v for_o the_o great_a service_n of_o almighty_a god_n to_o give_v it_o over_o i_o will_v instant_o have_v be_v sure_a to_o do_v it_o with_o entire_a peace_n and_o repose_v but_o the_o while_n it_o be_v a_o kind_n of_o be_v even_o in_o glory_n for_o i_o to_o see_v the_o b._n sacrament_n expose_v and_o that_o four_o poor_a poor_a orphan_n be_v provide_v for_o since_o they_o be_v take_v without_o dowry_n and_o they_o be_v very_o great_a servant_n of_o almighty_a god_n for_o this_o be_v much_o endeavour_v at_o the_o begin_n that_o such_o person_n shall_v enter_v and_o be_v receive_v as_o may_v lay_v a_o good_a foundation_n by_o their_o example_n for_o the_o better_a effect_v the_o intention_n and_o design_n which_o we_o have_v to_o carry_v all_o thing_n on_o with_o much_o perfection_n and_o prayer_n and_o that_o such_o a_o work_n in_o fine_a may_v be_v finish_v as_o be_v to_o prove_v for_o the_o service_n of_o our_o bless_a lord_n and_o in_o honour_n of_o the_o habit_n of_o his_o glorious_a mother_n for_o upon_o this_o do_v all_o the_o anxiety_n of_o my_o care_n work_n and_o beat_v and_o it_o give_v i_o also_o great_a comfort_n to_o have_v do_v express_o that_o which_o our_o bless_a lord_n have_v be_v please_v to_o command_v i_o and_o that_o there_o may_v be_v one_o church_n more_o and_o the_o same_o be_v dedicate_v under_o the_o name_n of_o my_o glorious_a father_n s._n joseph_n then_o there_o be_v before_o not_o yet_o that_o i_o conceive_v myself_o to_o have_v do_v any_o thing_n in_o it_o at_o all_o for_o i_o never_o have_v any_o such_o conceit_n neither_o have_v i_o yet_o but_o i_o ever_o understand_v that_o it_o be_v our_o bless_a lord_n who_o do_v it_o and_o that_o as_o much_o as_o concern_v my_o part_n be_v accompany_v with_o so_o great_a imperfection_n that_o i_o rather_o plain_o see_v that_o there_o be_v much_o more_o for_o which_o to_o blame_v i_o then_o to_o thank_v i_o but_o yet_o i_o must_v confess_v that_o it_o go_v with_o i_o for_o a_o great_a regalo_n to_o see_v that_o his_o divine_a majesty_n be_v please_v to_o use_v i_o as_o a_o instrument_n i_o be_v so_o very_o wicked_a as_o i_o be_o for_o so_o great_a a_o work_n as_o this_o so_o that_o in_o fine_a i_o remain_v with_o much_o satisfaction_n and_o gust_n in_o this_o behalf_n and_o as_o it_o be_v even_o out_o of_o myself_o in_o great_a depth_n of_o prayer_n but_o now_o upon_o the_o end_n of_o all_o this_o which_o may_v last_o about_o some_o three_o or_o four_o hour_n the_o devil_n procure_v to_o give_v i_o such_o a_o kind_n of_o spiritual_a battle_n as_o i_o will_v now_o declare_v he_o himself_o represent_v to_o i_o a_o doubt_n whether_o that_o which_o i_o have_v do_v have_v be_v well_o do_v whether_o i_o have_v not_o go_v against_o my_o obligation_n of_o obedience_n by_o procure_v to_o effect_v certain_a thing_n without_o have_v be_v direct_v therein_o by_o my_o provincial_n that_o i_o may_v very_o well_o imagine_v that_o my_o carriage_n have_v be_v of_o disgust_n to_o he_o in_o regard_n that_o i_o have_v submit_v the_o business_n to_o the_o ordinary_a and_o that_o without_o have_v acquaint_v he_o with_o it_o before_o though_o yet_o on_o the_o other_o side_n it_o be_v true_a that_o when_o he_o will_v not_o admit_v of_o the_o foundation_n and_o see_v that_o i_o do_v not_o alter_v my_o course_n i_o may_v probable_o enough_o imagine_v that_o he_o will_v not_o care_n much_o though_o it_o go_v on_o and_o whether_o these_o new_a religious_a will_v be_v content_a to_o live_v in_o so_o great_a restraint_n whether_o they_o be_v not_o to_o want_v bread_n to_o eat_v whether_o the_o whole_a business_n be_v not_o a_o absurd_a and_o foolish_a thing_n and_o who_o in_o fine_a must_v put_v i_o upon_o it_o since_o already_o i_o have_v a_o monastery_n of_o my_o own_o but_o now_o all_o that_o which_o our_o bless_a lord_n have_v command_v i_o and_o all_o those_o opinion_n of_o the_o learned_a man_n who_o i_o have_v consult_v and_o all_o the_o prayer_n which_o i_o have_v cause_v to_o be_v make_v and_o that_o in_o effect_n without_o cease_v yea_o and_o also_o for_o the_o space_n of_o more_o than_o two_o whole_a year_n all_o this_o i_o say_v be_v as_o absolute_o slip_v out_o of_o my_o memory_n as_o if_o it_o have_v never_o be_v there_o and_o i_o only_o remember_v now_o that_o i_o do_v it_o according_a to_o my_o own_o opinion_n but_o all_o the_o virtue_n and_o faith_n which_o i_o have_v before_o be_v suspend_v in_o i_o then_o without_o my_o have_a strength_n either_o to_o act_v any_o thing_n or_o even_o so_o much_o as_o to_o defend_v myself_o against_o so_o many_o assault_n the_o devil_n be_v also_o tamper_n with_o i_o and_o examine_v i_o how_o it_o come_v to_o pass_v that_o i_o will_v needs_o go_v shut_v myself_o up_o in_o so_o straight_o a_o house_n and_o that_o with_o so_o many_o infirmity_n upon_o my_o back_n and_o how_o i_o will_v be_v able_a to_o undergo_v so_o great_a penance_n and_o give_v over_o to_o live_v in_o so_o goodly_a and_o delightful_a a_o place_n as_o the_o other_o be_v where_o i_o have_v always_o have_v so_o much_o gust_n and_o so_o many_o friend_n and_o perhaps_o these_o other_o will_v not_o prove_v so_o that_o i_o have_v take_v very_o much_o upon_o i_o that_o perhaps_o it_o will_v cost_v i_o despair_v at_o the_o last_o that_o the_o devil_n have_v pretend_v but_o to_o deprive_v i_o of_o repose_n and_o peace_n that_o so_o i_o may_v not_o be_v able_a to_o frequent_v prayer_n and_o to_o make_v i_o grow_v disorder_v and_o disturb_v and_o so_o by_o those_o degree_n to_o loose_v my_o soul_n such_o thing_n as_o these_o assemble_v in_o such_o sort_n as_o i_o have_v relate_v do_v the_o devil_n take_v care_n to_o set_v before_o i_o and_o so_o as_o that_o it_o be_v not_o almost_o in_o my_o power_n so_o much_o as_o once_o to_o think_v of_o any_o thing_n else_o and_o by_o this_o mean_n do_v he_o bring_v such_o a_o affliction_n and_o obscurity_n or_o rather_o downright_a darkness_n upon_o my_o hart_n as_o i_o be_o not_o able_a to_o express_v but_o now_o when_o i_o find_v myself_o to_o be_v in_o this_o case_n i_o go_v to_o visit_v the_o bless_a sacrament_n though_o yet_o i_o be_v not_o able_a to_o recommend_v my_o soul_n to_o it_o as_o find_v myself_o in_o my_o opinion_n with_o a_o certain_a kind_n of_o profound_a affliction_n as_o if_o then_o i_o have_v be_v in_o no_o less_o than_o the_o very_a agony_n of_o death_n to_o treat_v with_o any_o body_n about_o it_o i_o be_v not_o yet_o to_o presume_v for_o there_o be_v not_o yet_o so_o much_o as_o a_o ghostly_a father_n appoint_v for_o i_o o_o my_o dear_a lord_n what_o a_o miserable_a kind_n of_o life_n be_v this_o which_o we_o lead_v where_o there_o be_v no_o secure_a contentment_n nor_o any_o thing_n which_o be_v not_o subject_a to_o change_v it_o thus_o be_v so_o very_o very_o late_o that_o i_o think_v i_o will_v not_o have_v exchange_v my_o condition_n in_o the_o way_n of_o be_v content_a with_o any_o creature_n of_o the_o whole_a world_n and_o now_o the_o selfsame_a cause_n even_o of_o the_o selfsame_a contentment_n do_v so_o torment_v i_o
in_o respect_n of_o he_o i_o accuse_v myself_o then_o as_o in_o fault_n yea_o and_o as_o very_o faulty_a and_o so_o i_o make_v no_o doubt_n but_o i_o be_v in_o the_o opinion_n of_o all_o they_o who_o know_v not_o very_o much_o of_o the_o cause_n and_o after_o they_o have_v give_v i_o a_o great_a reprehension_n though_o not_o yet_o with_o so_o much_o rigour_n as_o the_o fault_n may_v seem_v to_o deserve_v and_o as_o many_o of_o they_o tell_v the_o provincial_n that_o i_o have_v commit_v i_o be_v absolute_o for_o my_o part_n resolve_v to_o hold_v on_o this_o course_n and_o so_o i_o rather_o desire_v that_o they_o shall_v pardon_v i_o and_o then_o punish_v i_o if_o they_o will_v but_o by_o no_o mean_n remain_v unkind_a or_o ill-affected_a towards_o i_o in_o some_o thing_n i_o plain_o see_v that_o they_o have_v no_o reason_n at_o all_o against_o i_o but_o that_o they_o condemn_v i_o without_o cause_n as_o when_o they_o say_v i_o have_v do_v whatsoever_o i_o have_v do_v to_o the_o end_n that_o i_o may_v be_v hold_v in_o great_a opinion_n and_o to_o be_v talk_v of_o and_o such_o other_o toy_n as_o that_o but_o in_o other_o i_o see_v clear_o that_o they_o say_v true_a as_o namely_o that_o i_o be_v much_o worse_o than_o the_o rest_n and_o that_o since_o i_o have_v not_o keep_v the_o observance_n of_o that_o house_n which_o be_v maintain_v with_o so_o much_o piety_n and_o devotion_n there_o how_o can_v i_o come_v to_o think_v of_o perform_v another_o rule_n of_o more_o rigour_n and_o that_o this_o be_v but_o to_o raiseup_a novelty_n in_o the_o world_n and_o to_o scandalize_v the_o people_n but_o yet_o all_o this_o cause_v no_o tumult_n in_o my_o hart_n nor_o put_v i_o to_o any_o pain_n at_o all_o though_o yet_o i_o show_v to_o be_v in_o some_o lest_o otherwise_o they_o may_v conceive_v that_o i_o undervalue_v what_o they_o say_v but_o in_o fine_a the_o provincial_n command_v i_o to_o give_v account_n of_o myself_o to_o they_o of_o the_o former_a monastery_n and_o that_o i_o must_v necessary_o do_v it_o and_o so_o be_v at_o great_a peace_n within_o myself_o and_o our_o lord_n assist_v i_o therein_o i_o give_v such_o a_o discharge_n of_o my_o action_n as_o that_o neither_o the_o provincial_n nor_o the_o religious_a woman_n who_o be_v in_o that_o assembly_n find_v any_o thing_n for_o which_o to_o condemn_v i_o after_o this_o i_o speak_v more_o plain_o to_o he_o in_o private_a and_o i_o do_v it_o also_o more_o at_o large_a and_o he_o be_v very_o well_o satisfy_v with_o i_o and_o promise_v i_o that_o if_o the_o city_n shall_v proceed_v towards_o a_o be_v quiet_a again_o he_o will_v give_v i_o leave_v to_o go_v to_o my_o monastery_n but_o the_o disorder_n and_o distemper_n of_o the_o city_n be_v so_o very_o great_a as_o i_o shall_v now_o declare_v within_o two_o or_o three_o day_n after_o that_o time_n the_o governor_n and_o other_o magistrate_n of_o the_o town_n and_o some_o also_o of_o the_o chapter_n of_o the_o cathedral_n church_n meet_v together_o and_o they_o all_o declare_v joint_o that_o by_o no_o mean_n they_o must_v permit_v the_o work_n to_o go_v forward_o that_o it_o will_v result_v to_o the_o evident_a disadvantage_n of_o the_o commonwealth_n that_o they_o must_v not_o fail_v to_o remove_v the_o b._n sacrament_n from_o thence_o and_o by_o no_o mean_n permit_v the_o business_n to_o proceed_v one_o only_o doctor_n of_o s._n dominick_n order_n although_o he_o be_v of_o a_o contrary_a opinion_n to_o we_o i_o mean_v not_o in_o that_o point_n of_o the_o monastery_n but_o in_o that_o other_o of_o be_v incapable_a of_o revenue_n and_o poor_a say_v that_o there_o be_v no_o cause_n why_o the_o house_n shall_v instant_o be_v dissolve_v after_o that_o manner_n but_o that_o it_o ought_v to_o be_v well_o consider_v that_o there_o will_v be_v time_n enough_o for_o this_o that_o it_o be_v a_o case_n which_o belong_v to_o the_o bishop_n and_o diverse_a other_o thing_n of_o this_o kind_n which_o do_v very_o much_o good_a to_o the_o business_n for_o consider_v how_o great_a the_o fury_n of_o the_o people_n be_v it_o be_v happy_a that_o they_o do_v not_o put_v the_o dissolve_v of_o the_o house_n present_o in_o execution_n and_o this_o show_v that_o the_o thing_n in_o fine_a be_v to_o take_v effect_n and_o that_o our_o bless_a lord_n be_v please_v to_o have_v it_o so_o and_o that_o they_o all_o can_v do_v little_a against_o his_o will_n and_o pleasure_n but_o yet_o they_o all_o assign_v their_o reason_n and_o express_v good_a zeal_n in_o what_o they_o say_v and_o yet_o thus_o without_o their_o give_a offence_n to_o almighty_a god_n they_o make_v both_o i_o and_o diverse_a other_o suffer_v who_o favour_v the_o business_n the_o tumultuous_a disposition_n of_o the_o people_n be_v so_o great_a that_o now_o there_o be_v no_o talk_n of_o any_o thing_n else_o and_o they_o all_o agree_v in_o condemn_v i_o and_o in_o go_v to_o complain_v of_o i_o to_o the_o provincial_n and_o to_o my_o monastery_n as_o for_o i_o i_o be_v no_o more_o trouble_v at_o what_o they_o say_v then_o if_o they_o have_v not_o say_v it_o but_o the_o only_o fear_v i_o have_v be_v whether_o or_o no_o they_o will_v dissolve_v the_o house_n for_o this_o put_v i_o to_o a_o great_a deal_n of_o pain_n and_o so_o also_o do_v it_o to_o see_v that_o the_o person_n who_o assist_v i_o lose_v credit_n and_o be_v otherwise_o also_o put_v to_o much_o inconvenience_n by_o it_o but_o as_o for_o that_o which_o they_o say_v of_o i_o i_o be_v rather_o glad_v of_o it_o than_o otherwise_o and_o if_o i_o have_v have_v any_o faith_n it_o will_v have_v make_v no_o alteration_n in_o i_o at_o all_o but_o when_o there_o be_v a_o want_n in_o some_o one_o virtue_n all_o the_o rest_n be_v wont_a to_o be_v cast_v into_o a_o kind_n of_o slumber_n and_o so_o i_o be_v much_o trouble_v during_o those_o two_o day_n wherein_o the_o two_o assembly_n whereof_o i_o speak_v be_v make_v among_o the_o people_n and_o i_o be_v very_o much_o afflict_v our_o lord_n say_v these_o word_n to_o i_o do_v thou_o not_o know_v that_o i_o be_o powerful_a of_o what_o be_v thou_o afraid_a and_o thus_o do_v he_o assure_v i_o that_o the_o house_n shall_v not_o be_v dissolve_v whereby_o i_o remain_v full_a of_o comfort_n but_o then_o do_v they_o dispatch_v their_o agent_n or_o sollicitour_n to_o the_o council_n royal_a with_o their_o information_n and_o so_o there_o come_v order_n from_o thencÄ—_n to_o send_v a_o relation_n thither_o of_o the_o whole_a proceed_n so_o that_o heet_n we_o may_v behold_v the_o beginning_n of_o a_o great_a suit_n in_o law_n for_o already_o some_o be_v go_v to_o the_o court_n on_o the_o part_n of_o the_o city_n &_o other_o be_v instant_o to_o go_v on_o the_o part_n of_o the_o monastery_n and_o on_o the_o other_o side_n neither_o have_v we_o any_o money_n nor_o do_v i_o know_v what_o to_o do_v but_o our_o lord_n provide_v all_o thing_n for_o us._n and_o as_o for_o i_o my_o father_n provincial_a do_v never_o forbid_v i_o to_o deal_v in_o it_o for_o he_o be_v so_o true_a a_o friend_n to_o all_o virtue_n that_o although_o he_o do_v not_o assist_v in_o the_o work_n yet_o he_o will_v not_o be_v against_o it_o though_o yet_o withal_o it_o be_v very_o true_a that_o he_o will_v never_o give_v i_o leave_v to_o pass_v to_o this_o new_a monastery_n till_o he_o may_v see_v what_o kind_n of_o end_n the_o business_n will_v have_v in_o the_o mean_a time_n the_o servant_n of_o god_n be_v all_o alone_a and_o do_v more_o with_o their_o prayer_n than_o all_o that_o which_o i_o be_v able_a to_o do_v by_o way_n of_o negotiation_n though_o yet_o still_o it_o be_v necessary_a to_o use_v diligence_n enough_o sometime_o it_o will_v seem_v that_o all_o be_v want_v and_o especial_o one_o day_n before_o the_o provincial_n come_v hither_o when_o the_o prioress_n command_v i_o not_o to_o treat_v any_o more_o about_o that_o business_n but_o to_o give_v it_o utter_o over_o but_o than_o go_v i_o to_o almighty_a god_n and_o say_v o_o my_o lord_n this_o house_n be_v not_o i_o but_o it_o be_v make_v for_o thou_o and_o now_o there_o be_v no_o creature_n to_o negotiate_v the_o business_n for_o we_o and_o therefore_o thy_o divine_a majesty_n must_v be_v please_v to_o do_v it_o heerupon_o i_o find_v myself_o real_o and_o instant_o at_o so_o great_a ease_n and_o so_o without_o any_o manner_n of_o trouble_n as_o if_o i_o have_v have_v the_o whole_a world_n on_o my_o side_n to_o employ_v itself_o for_o i_o and_o so_o i_o hold_v all_o the_o business_n to_o be_v in_o safety_n upon_o this_o a_o certain_a priest_n a_o very_a great_a servant_n of_o
almighty_a god_n who_o have_v assist_v i_o always_o and_o be_v a_o great_a friend_n and_o favourer_n of_o all_o perfection_n go_v to_o the_o court_n to_o follow_v the_o business_n and_o labour_v in_o it_o very_o much_o and_o so_o also_o that_o holy_a cavalier_n of_o who_o i_o make_v mention_v before_o do_v very_o much_o therein_o and_o show_v it_o favour_n in_o all_o kind_n he_o endure_v also_o great_a trouble_n and_o persecution_n for_o it_o otherwise_o and_o i_o find_v he_o ever_o like_o a_o father_n to_o it_o and_o so_o i_o do_v also_o to_o this_o day_n and_o our_o lord_n do_v still_o inspire_v they_o who_o be_v our_o friend_n with_o such_o a_o deal_n of_o fervour_n that_o every_o one_o of_o they_o take_v our_o business_n to_o hart_n as_o much_o as_o if_o it_o have_v be_v proper_o his_o own_o and_o as_o if_o his_o whole_a honour_n and_o life_n have_v be_v concern_v in_o it_o though_o yet_o they_o have_v indeed_o no_o other_o interest_n then_o only_o in_o regard_n that_o they_o think_v it_o do_v import_v the_o service_n of_o almighty_a god_n but_o now_o it_o seem_v clear_o that_o his_o divine_a majesty_n assist_v the_o good_a and_o virtuous_a priest_n who_o be_v also_o a_o doctor_n and_o he_o indeed_o be_v one_o of_o they_o who_o help_v we_o most_o for_o the_o bishop_n employ_v he_o about_o it_o in_o his_o name_n in_o a_o certain_a great_a giunta_n or_o public_a meeting_n which_o be_v frame_v about_o it_o and_o therein_o he_o stand_v alone_o for_o we_o against_o they_o all_o and_o in_o fine_a he_o find_v mean_n to_o appease_v they_o for_o he_o make_v a_o kind_n of_o overture_n by_o a_o certain_a way_n which_o be_v sufficient_a to_o entertain_v and_o suspend_v their_o proceed_n &_o indeed_o there_o be_v not_o any_o one_o who_o can_v otherwise_o have_v suffice_v to_o keep_v they_o from_o resolve_v instant_o to_o employ_v even_o their_o very_a life_n for_o the_o overthrow_v of_o the_o business_n this_o servant_n of_o god_n of_o who_o i_o speak_v be_v also_o the_o man_n who_o give_v the_o habit_n to_o the_o religious_a and_o set-up_a the_o b._n sacrament_n there_o and_o he_o be_v subject_a to_o persecution_n enough_o for_o his_o labour_n this_o battery_n continue_v about_o half_a a_o year_n and_o to_o relate_v in_o particular_a manner_n the_o great_a trouble_n which_o pass_v in_o all_o that_o time_n will_v be_v along_o business_n for_o my_o part_n i_o wonder_v extreme_o at_o what_o a_o coil_n the_o devil_n keep_v against_o a_o few_o poor_a woman_n and_o how_o every_o body_n can_v understand_v that_o forsooth_o twelve_o religious_a and_o a_o prioress_n for_o they_o be_v no_o more_o can_v be_v think_v to_o be_v of_o such_o mischief_n to_o a_o whole_a city_n i_o mean_v such_o mischief_n to_o they_o who_o oppose_v it_o but_o as_o for_o the_o religious_a they_o be_v indeed_o of_o so_o austere_a life_n that_o if_o any_o hurt_n or_o error_n be_v to_o grow_v by_o that_o design_n it_o must_v be_v only_o to_o they_o and_o as_o for_o be_v of_o prejudice_n to_o the_o place_n it_o carry_v not_o so_o much_o as_o any_o appearance_n and_o yet_o they_o can_v meet_v with_o enough_o who_o will_v find_v mean_n and_o that_o forsooth_o with_o good_a conscience_n to_o cross_v it_o but_o yet_o now_o at_o length_n they_o come_v so_o far_o as_o to_o affirm_v that_o provide_v always_o that_o they_o will_v get_v revenue_n and_o live_v upon_o it_o they_o be_v content_a to_o give_v way_n and_o that_o the_o business_n may_v go_v on_o for_o my_o part_n i_o be_v then_o so_o weary_a to_o see_v all_o they_o who_o assist_v we_o in_o so_o great_a trouble_n which_o i_o regard_v much_o more_o than_o my_o own_o that_o i_o grow_v to_o be_v of_o opinion_n that_o it_o will_v not_o be_v very_o ill_o do_v to_o accept_v their_o licence_n under_o the_o condition_n of_o have_v revenue_n till_o the_o time_n may_v grow_v quiet_a by_o degree_n and_o that_o so_o we_o may_v get_v to_o be_v without_o it_o afterward_o at_o other_o time_n i_o be_v very_o imperfect_a and_o wicked_a begin_v to_o think_v that_o perhaps_o our_o lord_n will_v not_o mislike_v that_o it_o shall_v be_v so_o since_o we_o can_v not_o obtain_v our_o end_n otherwise_o and_o therefore_o i_o be_v already_o grow_v to_o consent_v to_o this_o accord_n but_o be_v in_o prayer_n the_o night_n before_o the_o final_a conclusion_n thereof_o when_o the_o accord_n be_v even_o already_o begin_v our_o lord_n command_v i_o that_o i_o shall_v consent_v to_o no_o such_o thing_n as_o they_o intend_v and_o that_o if_o we_o begin_v to_o take_v revenue_n they_o will_v never_o give_v we_o leave_v to_o forgo_v it_o and_o diverse_a other_o thing_n he_o also_o tell_v i_o the_o self_n same_o night_n that_o holy_a creature_n fray_n pedro_n de_fw-fr alcantara_n appear_v to_o i_o for_o than_o he_o be_v dead_a and_o before_o also_o he_o die_v he_o write_v to_o i_o and_o take_v notice_n of_o the_o great_a opposition_n &_o persecution_n which_o be_v raise_v against_o we_o he_o say_v he_o be_v hearty_o glad_a that_o this_o foundation_n be_v make_v with_o so_o great_a contradiction_n and_o how_o that_o serve_v he_o for_o a_o sign_n that_o our_o lord_n will_v grow_v to_o be_v great_o serve_v in_o this_o monastery_n since_o the_o devil_n take_v such_o pain_n to_o hinder_v it_o but_o yet_o he_o persuade_v we_o still_o that_o we_o shall_v by_o no_o mean_n accept_v of_o live_v upon_o revenue_n yea_o and_o he_o press_v this_o point_n in_o two_o or_o three_o several_a part_n of_o the_o same_o letter_n and_o tell_v i_o that_o if_o we_o persist_v therein_o we_o shall_v grow_v to_o effect_v the_o business_n according_a to_o our_o own_o desire_n i_o have_v already_o see_v he_o at_o two_o other_o several_a time_n after_o his_o death_n and_o i_o behold_v the_o much_o glory_n wherein_o he_o be_v and_o he_o give_v i_o no_o apprehension_n of_o fear_n at_o all_o but_o rather_o joy_v i_o much_o for_o he_o never_o appear_v to_o i_o but_o in_o the_o quality_n of_o a_o glorified_a body_n yea_o and_o full_a of_o excessive_a glory_n and_o so_o according_o he_o give_v i_o great_a joy_n to_o see_v he_o save_v that_o he_o partly_o show_v himself_o with_o a_o kind_n of_o severity_n or_o rigour_n when_o he_o tell_v i_o that_o in_o no_o case_n i_o shall_v accept_v of_o revenue_n and_o why_o will_v i_o not_o follow_v his_o counsel_n and_o so_o he_o instant_o vanish_v and_o i_o remain_v amaze_v i_o go_v therefore_o the_o next_o day_n to_o that_o cavalier_n he_o be_v the_o person_n to_o who_o we_o still_o carry_v all_o the_o business_n as_o to_o one_o who_o assist_v we_o most_o therein_o and_o i_o tell_v he_o what_o have_v pass_v and_o that_o he_o shall_v by_o no_o mean_n agree_v to_o take_v any_o revenue_n but_o rather_o to_o let_v the_o suit_n go_v on_o now_o he_o be_v even_o much_o more_o earnest_o of_o the_o same_o mind_n than_o i_o be_v myself_o and_o be_v very_o glad_a to_o find_v i_o of_o he_o and_o afterward_o tell_v i_o also_o how_o unwilling_o he_o ever_o speak_v about_o make_v any_o agreement_n or_o composition_n but_o a_o certain_a other_o person_n begin_v again_o ere_o long_o to_o declare_v himself_o against_o we_o and_o true_o she_o be_v a_o good_a servant_n of_o almighty_a god_n but_o yet_o she_o wish_v though_o she_o may_v have_v good_a intention_n therein_o that_o since_o the_o business_n be_v in_o so_o good_a state_n they_o may_v do_v well_o to_o put_v it_o into_o the_o hand_n of_o lawyer_n upon_o this_o i_o have_v a_o great_a deal_n of_o disquiet_n for_o some_o of_o they_o who_o assist_v megrew_n also_o to_o be_v of_o that_o opinion_n though_o yet_o indeed_o it_o be_v a_o very_a trick_n of_o the_o devil_n and_o perhaps_o it_o be_v a_o morsel_n of_o the_o hard_a desgestion_n of_o all_o the_o rest_n but_o our_o lord_n assist_v i_o in_o all_o for_o that_o be_v the_o sum_n of_o the_o business_n and_o it_o be_v no_o easy_a thing_n to_o give_v all_o that_o to_o be_v well_o understand_v which_o pass_v between_o the_o beginning_n and_o finish_v of_o this_o monastery_n although_o this_o last_o half_a year_n and_o the_o other_o which_o be_v the_o first_o be_v the_o most_o troublesome_a part_n of_o the_o whole_a time_n yet_o now_o the_o city_n be_v grow_v in_o some_o sort_n to_o be_v appease_v that_o father_n of_o s._n dominick_n order_n who_o be_v a_o graduate_n in_o theology_n lay_v so_o handsome_o about_o he_o though_o he_o be_v not_o present_v then_o that_o he_o assist_v we_o much_o our_o lord_n bring_v he_o also_o afterward_o in_o a_o certain_a coniuncture_n of_o time_n when_o he_o do_v we_o a_o great_a deal_n of_o good_a and_o it_o seem_v that_o his_o divine_a majesty_n have_v induce_v he_o
the_o rectour_n of_o the_o society_n of_o jesus_n who_o i_o mention_v before_o i_o have_v see_v some_o thing_n concern_v great_a favour_n which_o our_o lord_n do_v he_o but_o i_o will_v not_o insert_v they_o here_o for_o fear_v of_o be_v too_o long_o there_o happen_v a_o great_a trouble_n to_o he_o once_o for_o he_o be_v persecute_v and_o find_v himself_o great_o afflict_v and_o i_o hear_v mass_n one_o day_n see_v christ_n our_o lord_n upon_o the_o cross_n just_a then_o when_o the_o priest_n elevate_v the_o sacred_a host_n and_o he_o speak_v certain_a word_n to_o i_o wherewith_o i_o be_v to_o acquaint_v he_o for_o his_o comfort_n and_o other_o also_o he_o speak_v by_o way_n of_o prevention_n of_o some_o future_a inconvenience_n which_o may_v arrive_v and_o he_o represent_v also_o to_o he_o how_o much_o himself_o have_v suffer_v for_o his_o sake_n and_o that_o therefore_o he_o shall_v prepare_v himself_o to_o suffer_v and_o this_o give_v he_o both_o much_o comfort_n and_o much_o courage_n and_o all_o happen_v to_o he_o just_a so_o as_o our_o bless_a lord_n have_v foretell_v of_o the_o religious_a of_o a_o certain_a order_n yea_o and_o of_o that_o whole_a order_n together_o i_o have_v see_v great_a thing_n for_o i_o have_v see_v they_o sometime_o in_o heaven_n with_o white_a banner_n in_o their_o hand_n &_o i_o have_v see_v as_o i_o be_v say_v other_o thing_n of_o great_a admiration_n and_o according_o i_o have_v this_o order_n in_o much_o veneration_n for_o i_o have_v treat_v and_o communicate_v with_o they_o much_o and_o i_o see_v that_o their_o life_n be_v agreeable_a to_o that_o which_o our_o bless_a lord_n have_v give_v i_o to_o understand_v concern_v they_o i_o be_v one_o night_n in_o prayer_n our_o lord_n begin_v to_o utter_v some_o word_n to_o i_o which_o bring_v i_o to_o remember_v how_o wicked_a my_o life_n have_v be_v and_o they_o give_v i_o confusion_n and_o pain_n enough_o for_o although_o they_o import_v not_o any_o rigour_n yet_o they_o endue_v 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same_o may_v be_v either_o more_o or_o less_o but_o in_o this_o it_o be_v extraordinary_o great_a when_o i_o come_v to_o receive_v the_o bless_a sacrament_n and_o i_o do_v then_o record_v to_o myself_o that_o incomparable_a majesty_n which_o i_o have_v see_v and_o understand_v to_o be_v the_o very_a same_o which_o be_v in_o this_o most_o holy_a sacrament_n and_o many_o time_n our_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o let_v i_o see_v he_o in_o the_o sacred_a host_n where_o upon_o the_o very_a hair_n of_o my_o head_n will_v stand_v on_o end_n and_o i_o thought_n i_o be_v even_o annihilate_v outtight_n o_o my_o dear_a lord_n and_o if_o thou_o do_v
honour_n which_o be_v allow_v to_o other_o i_o consider_v the_o goodness_n of_o almighty_a god_n in_o not_o permit_v the_o soul_n even_o of_o that_o man_n to_o be_v defame_v but_o that_o it_o may_v be_v conceal_v that_o he_o be_v a_o enemy_n of_o he_o for_o my_o part_n i_o be_v even_o turn_v half_a fool_n by_o what_o i_o have_v see_v yet_o during_o all_o the_o performance_n of_o the_o office_n of_o the_o dead_a there_o be_v no_o more_o devil_n to_o be_v see_v but_o when_o afterward_o they_o put_v the_o body_n into_o the_o grave_n there_o be_v such_o a_o multitude_n of_o they_o ready_a to_o receive_v the_o body_n that_o i_o be_v even_o out_o of_o myself_o with_o behold_v it_o and_o it_o be_v no_o little_a courage_n which_o i_o need_v for_o enable_v i_o to_o dissemble_v the_o see_v it_o and_o i_o consider_v how_o those_o devil_n be_v likely_a to_o treat_v that_o soul_n when_o they_o exercise_v such_o a_o absolute_a dominion_n even_o over_o that_o woeful_a body_n and_o i_o will_v to_o 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to_o i_o to_o be_v but_o of_o thirty_o year_n old_a or_o rather_o somewhat_o less_o but_o with_o much_o brightness_n in_o his_o face_n this_o vision_n pass_v away_o very_o speedy_o but_o yet_o i_o be_v so_o extreme_o comfort_v by_o it_o that_o the_o death_n of_o that_o man_n do_v put_v i_o now_o to_o no_o more_o pain_n though_o i_o have_v trouble_v many_o other_o about_o he_o for_o he_o be_v very_o well_o belove_v and_o thus_o also_o the_o comfort_n of_o my_o soul_n be_v so_o great_a i_o can_v not_o possible_o doubt_v but_o that_o the_o vision_n be_v true_a and_o no_o illusion_n this_o happen_v but_o fifteen_o day_n after_o his_o death_n but_o still_o i_o be_v not_o slack_a in_o procure_v that_o he_o may_v be_v recommend_v to_o almighty_a god_n save_o that_o i_o can_v not_o do_v it_o so_o hearty_o as_o before_o i_o see_v this_o vision_n for_o when_o our_o lord_n show_v i_o such_o thing_n and_o that_o yet_o i_o will_v pray_v for_o they_o afterward_o i_o can_v choose_v but_o conceive_v 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as_o the_o other_o do_v and_o so_o go_v to_o heaven_n now_o this_o be_v no_o imaginary_a vision_n like_o the_o last_o but_o like_o other_o which_o i_o recount_v before_o yet_o these_o be_v no_o less_o certain_a than_o those_o other_o be_v there_o be_v also_o another_o religious_a woman_n of_o between_o eighteen_o and_o twenty_o year_n old_a who_o die_v at_o home_n in_o our_o house_n now_o she_o have_v be_v always_o sickly_a and_o a_o great_a servant_n of_o god_n and_o very_o diligent_a in_o the_o choir_n and_o in_o fine_a a_o very_a virtuous_a woman_n and_o real_o i_o be_v apt_a to_o think_v that_o she_o shall_v not_o have_v go_v to_o purgatory_n at_o all_o but_o rather_o that_o there_o will_v have_v be_v supernumerarie_a merit_n in_o regard_n of_o the_o many_o sickness_n which_o she_o have_v endure_v but_o yet_o when_o we_o be_v recite_v the_o office_n before_o she_o be_v bury_v and_o some_o four_o hour_n after_o she_o die_v i_o understand_v that_o her_o soul_n spring_v up_o out_o 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very_a good_a man_n be_v fall_v very_o dangerous_o sick_a and_o i_o be_v then_o at_o mass_n grow_v to_o be_v in_o very_o great_a recollection_n and_o see_v that_o the_o man_n be_v dead_a and_o that_o he_o go_v instant_o to_o heaven_n without_o touch_v upon_o purgatory_n at_o all_o and_o he_o die_v in_o that_o very_a hour_n as_o i_o be_v tell_v afterward_o now_o i_o wonder_v that_o he_o have_v never_o enter_v into_o purgatory_n but_o i_o understand_v that_o he_o have_v be_v a_o religious_a man_n and_o have_v well_o observe_v the_o
in_o this_o diamond_n it_o be_v such_o as_o that_o all_o thing_n be_v shutup_a in_o it_o because_o there_o be_v nothing_o which_o can_v get_v out_o of_o that_o greatness_n it_o be_v a_o thing_n extreme_o to_o amaze_v i_o to_o be_v able_a to_o see_v in_o so_o very_o short_a a_o time_n so_o many_o thing_n together_o in_o this_o bright_a diamond_n and_o so_o be_v it_o also_o matter_n of_o extreme_a compassion_n and_o grief_n for_o i_o every_o time_n that_o i_o remember_v myself_o to_o have_v see_v that_o thing_n so_o very_o ugly_a and_o foul_a as_o my_o sin_n be_v shall_v be_v represent_v and_o show_v in_o that_o so_o clearness_n of_o light_n and_o the_o truth_n be_v that_o whensoever_o i_o remember_v it_o i_o know_v not_o how_o it_o come_v to_o be_v possible_a for_o i_o to_o endure_v it_o and_o i_o do_v real_o then_o remain_v so_o extreme_o out_o of_o countenance_n and_o ashamed_a that_o i_o think_v i_o can_v not_o tell_v where_o to_o hide_v my_o head_n o_o vision_n that_o some_o creature_n or_o other_o be_v able_a to_o give_v this_o truth_n to_o be_v well_o understand_v by_o these_o people_n who_o commit_v dishonest_a filthy_a sin_n that_o so_o they_o may_v come_v to_o know_v that_o they_o be_v not_o secret_a and_o that_o almighty_a god_n have_v reason_n to_o be_v very_o sensible_a of_o those_o wrong_n since_o they_o be_v act_v so_o true_o in_o the_o presence_n of_o his_o divine_a majesty_n and_o that_o we_o carry_v ourselves_o with_o so_o base_a irreverence_n before_o he_o i_o see_v here_o also_o how_o just_o hell_n be_v deserve_v for_o any_o one_o mortal_a sin_n because_o it_o be_v pass_v our_o power_n to_o understand_v what_o a_o most_o grievous_a crime_n it_o be_v to_o commit_v it_o in_o the_o presence_n of_o so_o great_a a_o majesty_n and_o what_o a_o unspeakable_a distance_n and_o dissimilitude_n be_v find_v between_o that_o which_o he_o be_v and_o that_o which_o our_o sin_n be_v and_o how_o it_o appear_v even_o hereby_o so_o much_o the_o better_a how_o great_a his_o mercy_n be_v since_o notwithstanding_o he_o know_v all_o this_o he_o yet_o endure_v us._n it_o have_v also_o make_v i_o consider_v that_o if_o such_o a_o vision_n as_o this_o can_v leave_v the_o soul_n so_o extreme_o astonish_v and_o amaze_v what_o kind_n of_o thing_n will_v the_o day_n of_o judgement_n prove_v to_o be_v when_o this_o majesty_n of_o almighty_a god_n will_v show_v itself_o with_o all_o clearness_n and_o so_o we_o shall_v also_o clear_o see_v what_o kind_n of_o thing_n our_o sin_n be_v which_o we_o commit_v against_o he_o o_o my_o dear_a god_n what_o blindness_n be_v this_o which_o have_v seize_v i_o and_o i_o have_v often_o be_v amaze_v even_o whilst_o i_o have_v be_v write_v this_o and_o your_o reverence_n need_v be_v amaze_v at_o nothing_o but_o how_o i_o be_o able_a even_o to_o live_v whilst_o i_o be_o look_v both_o upon_o these_o thing_n and_o myself_o but_o let_v he_o be_v eternal_o bless_v who_o have_v vouchsafe_v to_o endure_v such_o thing_n at_o my_o hand_n be_v once_o in_o prayer_n in_o very_o great_a recollection_n and_o with_o much_o quietness_n and_o sweetness_n i_o think_v i_o be_v all_o emcompass_v with_o angel_n and_o very_o near_o to_o almighty_a god_n and_o i_o begin_v to_o be_v a_o humble_a suitor_n to_o his_o divine_a majesty_n for_o the_o benefit_n and_o advantage_n of_o his_o church_n and_o he_o give_v i_o to_o understand_v the_o much_o good_a which_o a_o certain_a order_n shall_v do_v the_o world_n in_o these_o latter_a time_n and_o the_o great_a courage_n wherewith_o the_o member_n thereof_o shall_v defend_v and_o uphold_v the_o catholic_a faith_n be_v once_o in_o prayer_n near_o the_o bless_a sacrament_n there_o appear_v to_o i_o a_o certain_a saint_n who_o order_n be_v in_o some_o decay_n he_o have_v a_o great_a book_n in_o his_o hand_n which_o he_o open_v and_o will_v i_o to_o read_v certains_fw-fr letter_n in_o it_o which_o be_v very_o legible_a and_o large_a and_o they_o say_v thus_o in_o future_a time_n this_o order_n shall_v flourish_v and_o have_v many_o martyr_n another_o time_n be_v at_o matin_n in_o the_o choir_n six_o or_o seven_o person_n be_v represent_v and_o set_v before_o i_o and_o i_o hold_v they_o to_o be_v of_o the_o same_o order_n and_o they_o have_v sword_n in_o their_o hand_n and_o i_o conceive_v that_o i_o be_v give_v thereby_o to_o understand_v that_o they_o shall_v defend_v the_o faith_n for_o be_v in_o prayer_n another_o time_n and_o rapt_v in_o spirit_n i_o think_v i_o be_v in_o a_o very_a spavous_a field_n where_o many_o be_v who_o fight_v and_o they_o of_o this_o order_n do_v also_o fight_v with_o great_a fervour_n they_o have_v their_o face_n beautiful_a and_o much_o inflame_v and_o they_o beat_v multitude_n of_o man_n down_o to_o the_o ground_n and_o killed_z other_o this_o battle_n seem_v to_o be_v give_v against_o heretic_n &_o i_o have_v see_v this_o glorious_a saint_n diverse_a time_n and_o he_o have_v tell_v i_o some_o thing_n and_o give_v i_o thanks_n for_o the_o prayer_n which_o i_o make_v for_o his_o order_n and_o he_o have_v promise_v that_o he_o will_v recommend_v i_o to_o our_o bless_a lord_n i_o specifye_v not_o the_o several_a order_n here_o lest_o some_o shall_v be_v offend_v at_o it_o and_o if_o our_o lord_n shall_v think_v it_o convenient_a he_o may_v declare_v they_o but_o every_o order_n shall_v procure_v and_o so_o shall_v every_o particular_a man_n of_o every_o order_n that_o in_o so_o great_a a_o necessity_n as_o that_o wherein_o the_o church_n be_v at_o this_o time_n they_o may_v be_v able_a to_o serve_v she_o for_o happy_a be_v those_o life_n which_o may_v come_v to_o loose_v themselves_o upon_o this_o occasion_n a_o certain_a person_n desire_v i_o once_o to_o beg_v of_o almighty_a god_n that_o i_o may_v understand_v whether_o or_o no_o it_o will_v be_v for_o the_o service_n of_o his_o divine_a majesty_n that_o he_o shall_v take_v a_o bishopric_n i_o do_v so_o and_o our_o lord_n make_v i_o this_o answer_n after_o i_o have_v communicate_v when_o he_o shall_v understand_v with_o all_o clearness_n and_o truth_n that_o true_a dominion_n consist_v in_o possess_v nothing_o he_o may_v take_v it_o then_o give_v thereby_o to_o understand_v that_o whosoever_o be_v to_o be_v a_o prelate_n must_v be_v very_o far_o from_o so_o much_o as_o desire_v it_o and_o yet_o further_o from_o procure_v it_o these_o favour_n and_o many_o other_o also_o have_v be_v and_o be_v still_o very_o ordinary_o show_v by_o our_o bless_a lord_n to_o this_o sinful_a woman_n which_o i_o think_v be_v not_o very_o necesarie_a to_o be_v relate_v since_o by_o those_o which_o be_v deliver_v already_o my_o soul_n together_o with_o the_o spirit_n which_o our_o lord_n have_v give_v i_o may_v be_v understand_v but_o let_v he_o be_v ever_o bless_v who_o have_v have_v so_o much_o care_n of_o i_o he_o tell_v i_o once_o by_o way_n of_o comfort_v i_o that_o i_o must_v not_o afflict_v myself_o and_o this_o he_o do_v with_o most_o tender_a love_n for_o that_o in_o this_o life_n of_o we_o we_o can_v not_o possible_o be_v always_o after_o the_o same_o manner_n but_o that_o sometime_o i_o will_v be_v in_o fervour_n and_o sometime_o without_o it_o sometime_o with_o unquietnes_n and_o temptation_n and_o sometime_o without_o they_o and_o in_o peace_n but_o that_o i_o must_v hope_v in_o he_o and_o fear_v nothing_o be_v one_o day_n in_o thought_n and_o doubt_v whether_o it_o be_v not_o a_o kind_n of_o be_v tie_v to_o creature_n to_o be_v glad_a to_o be_v with_o such_o person_n as_o with_o who_o i_o treat_v the_o business_n of_o my_o soul_n and_o to_o love_n both_o they_o and_o other_o also_o who_o i_o find_v to_o be_v the_o servant_n of_o almighty_a god_n and_o to_o receive_v comfort_n by_o be_v with_o they_o he_o tell_v i_o that_o if_o when_o a_o man_n be_v dangerous_o sick_a the_o presence_n of_o a_o physician_n seem_v even_o to_o restore_v he_o to_o health_n it_o will_v not_o be_v a_o virtue_n to_o forbear_v to_o be_v glad_a of_o he_o and_o to_o love_v he_o and_o what_o say_v he_o will_v thou_o have_v do_v if_o it_o have_v not_o be_v for_o such_o as_o they_o that_o he_o dislike_v not_o that_o conversation_n shall_v be_v hold_v with_o such_o as_o be_v good_a but_o that_o my_o word_n must_v ever_o be_v well_o consider_v and_o holy_a and_o that_o so_o it_o will_v be_v rather_o profitable_a to_o i_o then_o hurtful_a not_o to_o give-ove_a communication_n with_o they_o now_o this_o impart_v a_o particular_a comfort_n to_o i_o for_o sometime_o it_o will_v seem_v to_o be_v a_o have_v too_o great_a a_o tie_n upon_o creature_n which_o make_v i_o once_o incline_v to_o give-ove_a the_o custom_n
have_v begin_v to_o obey_v she_o also_o declare_v for_o how_o little_a purpose_n it_o serve_v to_o resist_v the_o favour_n of_o almighty_a god_n and_o how_o his_o divine_a majesty_n go_v daily_o impart_v they_o to_o she_o after_o a_o more_o complete_a manner_n chap._n 25._o she_o treat_v here_o of_o the_o way_n and_o manner_n of_o understand_v those_o word_n or_o speech_n which_o almighty_a god_n be_v please_v to_o utter_v to_o the_o soul_n though_o yet_o without_o hear_v any_o voice_n or_o sound_n and_o of_o some_o error_n or_o abuse_n which_o may_v happen_v herein_o and_o how_o the_o right_a may_v be_v know_v from_o the_o wrong_n it_o be_v of_o much_o use_n and_o profit_n for_o such_o as_o see_v themselves_o in_o this_o degree_n of_o prayer_n for_o it_o be_v declare_v very_o well_o and_o the_o doctrine_n contain_v great_a instruction_n 26._o chap._n she_o prosecute_v the_o same_o discourse_n and_o go_v relate_v and_o declare_v such_o thing_n as_o happen_v to_o she_o which_o make_v she_o to_o loose_a fear_n and_o to_o be_v strengthen_v in_o a_o belief_n that_o it_o be_v a_o good_a spirit_n which_o speak_v to_o she_o 27._o chap._n she_o treat_v of_o another_o way_n how_o our_o lord_n instruct_v a_o soul_n and_o give_v she_o to_o understand_v his_o will_n after_o a_o very_a admirable_a manner_n without_o any_o speech_n at_o all_o she_o also_o declare_v a_o certain_a vision_n and_o great_a favour_n which_o our_o lord_n show_v she_o and_o this_o vision_n be_v not_o imaginary_a this_o chaepter_n be_v very_o much_o to_o be_v note_v 28._o chap._n she_o treat_v of_o the_o great_a favour_n which_o our_o lord_n do_v she_o and_o how_o he_o appear_v to_o she_o the_o first_o time_n she_o declare_v that_o it_o be_v a_o vision_n which_o show_v itself_o by_o way_n of_o the_o imagination_n and_o discover_v the_o great_a effect_n and_o testimony_n which_o such_o thing_n leave_v in_o the_o soul_n when_o they_o be_v of_o almighty_a god_n this_o chapter_n be_v of_o great_a instruction_n and_o deserve_v to_o be_v note_v much_o 29._o chap._n she_o prosecute_v the_o discourse_n which_o she_o have_v begin_v and_o relate_v some_o high_a favour_n which_o our_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o do_v she_o and_o what_o his_o divine_a majesty_n do_v further_o for_o the_o secure_n and_o encourage_a her_o mind_n and_o for_o the_o enable_v she_o to_o answer_n her_o contradictour_n 30._o chap._n she_o return_v to_o recount_v the_o course_n of_o her_o life_n and_o how_o our_o lord_n give_v remedy_n to_o many_o of_o her_o trouble_n by_o bring_v that_o holy_a man_n fray_n pedro_n de_fw-fr alcantara_n of_o the_o order_n of_o the_o glorious_a s._n francis_n to_o the_o place_n where_o she_o be_v and_o she_o declare_v the_o great_a temptation_n and_o inward_a trouble_n which_o sometime_o she_o endure_v 31_o chap._n she_o treat_v of_o certain_a exterior_a temptation_n and_o representation_n of_o the_o devil_n and_o of_o the_o torment_n which_o he_o give_v she_o she_o speak_v also_o of_o other_o thing_n which_o be_v very_o fit_a for_o the_o advice_n and_o instruction_n of_o such_o person_n as_o be_v walk_v on_o in_o the_o way_n of_o perfection_n 32._o chap._n she_o treat_v how_o it_o please_v our_o lord_n to_o put_v she_o in_o spirit_n into_o a_o place_n of_o hell_n which_o she_o say_v she_o have_v deserve_v for_o her_o sin_n she_o relate_v what_o be_v represent_v to_o she_o there_o which_o be_v but_o a_o kind_n of_o shadow_n of_o such_o thing_n as_o be_v suffer_v in_o that_o place_n she_o begin_v also_o to_o declare_v the_o way_n and_o manner_n how_o that_o monastery_n be_v found_v in_o auila_n under_o the_o name_n of_o s._n joseph_n 33._o chap._n she_o proceed_v in_o the_o same_o subject_n of_o the_o foundation_n of_o the_o monastery_n of_o the_o glorious_a s._n joseph_n she_o declare_v how_o she_o be_v command_v to_o attend_v to_o that_o business_n and_o of_o the_o time_n when_o she_o forbear_v to_o follow_v it_o and_o of_o some_o trouble_n which_o she_o have_v and_o how_o she_o be_v comfort_v in_o they_o by_o our_o bless_a lord_n chap._n 34._o she_o declare_v how_o at_o this_o time_n she_o be_v necessary_o to_o go_v from_o that_o place_n and_o she_o show_v the_o cause_n thereof_o and_o how_o her_o superior_a command_v she_o to_o go_v for_o the_o comfort_n of_o a_o certain_a lady_n who_o be_v much_o afflict_v she_o begin_v to_o treat_v of_o that_o which_o happen_v to_o she_o there_o and_o of_o the_o great_a favour_n which_o it_o please_v our_o lord_n to_o do_v by_o her_o mean_n in_o stirring-up_a a_o very_a principal_a person_n to_o do_v he_o very_o great_a service_n and_o how_o afterward_o she_o receive_v much_o favour_n and_o protection_n from_o he_o this_o be_v a_o admirable_a discourse_n and_o very_o much_o to_o be_v note_v 35._o chap._n she_o prosecute_v the_o same_o subject_n about_o the_o foundation_n of_o this_o house_n of_o our_o glorious_a father_n s._n joseph_n she_o speak_v of_o the_o degree_n by_o which_o our_o lord_n come_v to_o appoint_v that_o holy_a poverty_n shall_v be_v ordain_v there_o and_o of_o the_o cause_n why_o she_o come_v from_o that_o lady_n with_o who_o she_o be_v and_o of_o other_o thing_n also_o which_o succeed_v 36._o chap._n she_o prosecute_v the_o subject_n which_o she_o have_v begunn_v and_o declare_v the_o final_a conclusion_n of_o this_o monastery_n of_o the_o glorious_a s._n joseph_n of_o auila_n and_o of_o the_o great_a contradiction_n and_o persecution_n which_o the_o religious_a woman_n be_v put_v to_o suffer_v even_o after_o they_o have_v take_v the_o habit_n and_o of_o the_o many_o trouble_n and_o temptation_n which_o she_o be_v fain_o to_o undergo_v and_o how_o his_o divine_a majesty_n draw_v she_o out_o of_o all_o with_o victory_n to_o his_o own_o praise_n and_o glory_n 37._o chap._n she_o treat_v of_o the_o effect_n which_o use_v to_o remain_v in_o her_o soul_n when_o our_o lord_n have_v do_v she_o any_o favour_n and_o she_o accompany_v this_o discourse_n with_o very_o profitable_a doctrine_n she_o declare_v also_o how_o we_o be_v to_o procure_v and_o great_o esteem_v the_o gain_n of_o one_o degree_n of_o glory_n more_o and_o how_o we_o must_v not_o for_o any_o trouble_n or_o pain_n forsake_v those_o benefit_n &_o blessing_n which_o be_v everlasting_a 38._o chap._n she_o treat_v of_o some_o great_a favour_n which_o our_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o do_v she_o as_o well_o in_o acquaint_v she_o with_o certain_a secret_n of_o heaven_n as_o by_o give_v she_o other_o great_a vision_n and_o revelation_n she_o declare_v also_o the_o effect_n which_o they_o leave_v in_o her_o soul_n and_o the_o great_a benefit_n which_o she_o obtain_v by_o they_o 39_o chap._n she_o proceed_v in_o the_o same_o subject_n of_o show_v the_o great_a favour_n which_o our_o lord_n have_v do_v she_o and_o she_o declare_v how_o he_o be_v please_v to_o promise_v his_o favour_n to_o they_o for_o who_o she_o shall_v beg_v it_o and_o she_o relate_v some_o important_a particular_n wherein_o his_o divine_a majesty_n have_v do_v her_o extraordinary_a favour_n of_o this_o kind_n 40._o chap._n she_o proceed_v in_o the_o same_o discourse_n by_o relate_v the_o great_a favour_n which_o our_o lord_n show_v she_o whereby_o good_a instruction_n be_v to_o be_v get_v and_o with_o the_o end_n of_o this_o chapter_n she_o end_v also_o the_o discourse_n of_o her_o life_n 41._o a_o letter_n write_v by_o the_o glorious_a s._n teresa_n which_o she_o send_v together_o with_o the_o book_n to_o her_o ghostly_a father_n approbatio_fw-la haec_fw-la vita_fw-la s._n teresae_fw-la primùm_fw-la hispanico_fw-la sermone_fw-la à _fw-la se_fw-la conscripta_fw-la &_o postea_fw-la taliter_fw-la edita_fw-la nunc_fw-la verò_fw-la felicissimè_fw-la anglicè_fw-la reddita_fw-la per_fw-la ill_n m_o virum_fw-la m._n t._n iussu_fw-la r_o mi_fw-mi antuerpiensis_n à _fw-la i_o attentè_fw-fr perlecta_fw-la fuit_fw-la &_o in_o eadem_fw-la nihil_fw-la dum_fw-la reperi_fw-la vel_fw-la contra_fw-la fidem_fw-la vel_fw-la quod_fw-la possit_fw-la meo_fw-la iudicio_fw-la pias_fw-la &_o christianas_n aures_fw-la offendere_fw-la imò_fw-la cum_fw-la amorem_fw-la eius_fw-la seraphicum_fw-la undique_fw-la lucentem_fw-la ac_fw-la inflammantem_fw-la lector_fw-la experiatur_fw-la censeo_fw-la dignissimam_fw-la ut_fw-la in_o communem_fw-la etiam_fw-la catholicorum_n anglorum_fw-la utilitatem_fw-la imprimatur_fw-la antuerpiae_fw-la 5._o augusti_fw-la m._n dc_o xlii_o richardus_n wake_v i._n v._o l._n cap._n 4._o cap._n 5._o cap._n 2._o cap._n 8._o cap._n 7._o cap._n 6._o cap._n 22._o 22._o note_v this_o great_a &_o most_o certain_a truth_n truth_n many_o use_v to_o repeat_v the_o creed_n in_o the_o presence_n and_o as_o in_o the_o person_n of_o such_o as_o be_v near_o expire_a by_o way_n of_o fortefy_v they_o at_o that_o time_n against_o the_o temptation_n of_o the_o devil_n devil_n when_o person_n be_v near_o expire_a attendant_n use_v to_o be_v very_o
sometime_o not_o so_o soon_o and_o since_o of_o late_a i_o be_o grow_v able_a to_o receive_v the_o b._n sacrament_n more_o often_o it_o proceed_v from_o this_o that_o these_o vomit_v come_v to_o i_o at_o night_n before_o i_o go_v to_o bed_n and_o they_o put_v i_o to_o much_o more_o pain_n and_o then_o i_o must_v procure_v to_o hasten_v and_o facilitate_v they_o by_o the_o use_n of_o feather_n and_o such_o other_o thing_n because_o if_o i_o have_v not_o those_o vomit_n the_o sickness_n which_o i_o feel_v be_v extreme_a but_o indeed_o i_o be_o i_o think_v almost_o never_o without_o many_o kind_n of_o pain_n and_o sometime_o they_o be_v very_o sharp_a one_o and_o especial_o at_o my_o very_a hart_n though_o yet_o withal_o it_o be_v also_o true_a that_o the_o cruel_a palsy_n and_o other_o infirmity_n of_o fever_n which_o be_v wont_a to_o come_v very_o thick_a upon_o i_o be_v now_o find_v to_o oppress_v i_o more_o seldom_o so_o that_o many_o time_n i_o be_o well_o in_o those_o respect_n and_o i_o have_v make_v so_o little_a account_n of_o these_o misery_n for_o these_o eight_o year_n together_o that_o sometime_o i_o be_o even_o glad_a i_o have_v they_o as_o conceave_a that_o our_o lord_n may_v be_v peradventure_o serve_v in_o some_o sort_n thereby_o this_o be_v my_o discourse_n and_o now_o my_o father_n believe_v that_o this_o which_o i_o tell_v he_o here_o be_v indeed_o the_o true_a cause_n of_o my_o omission_n for_o himself_o never_o use_v to_o lie_v and_o consider_v in_o what_o sort_n and_o of_o what_o matter_n i_o be_v then_o discourse_v to_o he_o he_o have_v no_o reason_n to_o think_v but_o that_o i_o say_v true_a and_o to_o the_o end_n that_o he_o may_v believe_v i_o the_o better_a i_o tell_v he_o also_o then_o that_o i_o well_o see_v myself_o not_o to_o be_v without_o some_o fault_n and_o that_o i_o have_v enough_o to_o do_v to_o be_v able_a to_o assist_v in_o the_o choir_n though_o yet_o in_o very_a deed_n even_o this_o reason_n of_o corporal_a sickness_n be_v no_o sufficient_a cause_n to_o make_v i_o give_v any_o good_a thing_n over_o for_o there_o be_v no_o need_n of_o corporal_a strength_n for_o such_o thing_n as_o these_o but_o only_o of_o love_n and_o custom_n since_o our_o lord_n afford_v we_o always_o opportunity_n if_o we_o will_v ourselves_o i_o say_v always_o because_o though_o infirmity_n and_o other_o occasion_n my_o hinder_v one_o sometime_o from_o spend_v many_o hour_n in_o solitude_n yet_o there_o will_v not_o want_v some_o other_o time_n wherein_o we_o may_v have_v health_n enough_o for_o this_o business_n yea_o and_o even_o in_o other_o occasion_n as_o also_o in_o the_o midst_n of_o sickness_n itself_o the_o true_a prayer_n may_v be_v make_v since_o it_o be_v the_o soul_n which_o love_v by_o offer_v up_o that_o pain_n to_o almighty_a god_n and_o in_o remember_v for_o who_o it_o be_v endure_v and_o in_o conform_v one_o self_n to_o god_n holy_a will_n therein_o and_o in_o a_o thousand_o such_o other_o thing_n as_o will_v occur_v and_o thus_o may_v one_o exercise_v love_n for_o there_o be_v no_o necessity_n at_o all_o for_o a_o person_n either_o to_o be_v in_o solitude_n or_o else_o that_o there_o must_v be_v no_o mental_a prayer_n at_o all_o if_o we_o will_v take_v a_o little_a care_n we_o may_v arrive_v to_o obtain_v great_a blessing_n at_o those_o time_n when_o our_o lord_n even_o take_v time_n for_o prayer_n from_o we_o by_o mean_n of_o our_o sickness_n and_o pain_n and_o myself_o have_v find_v this_o to_o be_v true_a as_o long_o as_o my_o conscience_n be_v pure_a and_o good_a but_o my_o father_n through_o the_o opinion_n which_o he_o hold_v of_o i_o and_o the_o love_n he_o bear_v i_o believe_v all_o that_o i_o have_v say_v or_o rather_o he_o not_o only_o believe_v but_o have_v also_o pity_n of_o i_o though_o yet_o be_v then_o grow_v to_o find_v himself_o in_o so_o eminent_a and_o high_a a_o state_n of_o spiritual_a life_n he_o remain_v not_o with_o i_o very_o long_o and_o therefore_o have_v visit_v i_o he_o return_v home_o as_o hold_v his_o stay_n there_o to_o be_v loss_n of_o time_n and_o i_o who_o be_v willing_a to_o spend_v it_o upon_o other_o vanity_n be_v not_o trouble_v very_o much_o at_o his_o departure_n it_o be_v not_o only_o with_o he_o but_o with_o other_o person_n also_o who_o i_o procure_v that_o they_o shall_v addict_v themselves_o to_o mental_a prayer_n even_o whilst_o i_o be_v walk_v on_o in_o those_o vanity_n for_o still_o as_o i_o find_v they_o apt_a to_o use_v vocal_a prayer_n i_o tell_v they_o how_o they_o shall_v grow_v to_o have_v the_o use_n of_o meditation_n and_o i_o do_v they_o good_a and_o give_v they_o book_n for_o i_o have_v still_o a_o good_a desire_n that_o other_o shall_v serve_v almighty_a god_n even_o from_o the_o very_a first_o time_n that_o i_o use_v mental_a prayer_n as_o i_o have_v relate_v here_o it_o seem_v to_o i_o that_o since_o now_o i_o serve_v not_o our_o lord_n myself_o so_o well_o as_o i_o shall_v yet_o i_o like_v not_o that_o that_o light_n shall_v be_v lose_v which_o his_o divine_a majesty_n have_v bestow_v upon_o i_o but_o that_o other_o might_n also_o serve_v he_o by_o my_o mean_n and_o this_o i_o here_o recount_v that_o so_o the_o great_a blindness_n wherein_o i_o be_v may_v be_v the_o better_o see_v which_o induce_v i_o to_o make_v i_o loose_v myself_o whilst_o yet_o i_o go_v procure_v to_o do_v good_a to_o other_o about_o this_o time_n my_o father_n fall_v into_o the_o sickness_n whereof_o he_o die_v short_o after_o but_o i_o go_v to_o attend_v and_o recover_v he_o whilst_o myself_o be_v more_o sick_a in_o soul_n than_o he_o be_v in_o body_n through_o many_o vanity_n of_o i_o though_o yet_o not_o in_o such_o sort_n as_o that_o according_a to_o my_o understanding_n i_o be_v in_o mortal_a sin_n even_o in_o all_o this_o worst_a &_o wicked_a time_n whereof_o i_o speak_v for_o certain_o if_o i_o have_v conceive_v otherwise_o i_o shall_v by_o no_o mean_n have_v continue_v therein_o i_o endure_v some_o affliction_n and_o trouble_v in_o his_o sickness_n and_o i_o think_v i_o also_o make_v he_o some_o part_n of_o poor_a amends_o for_o the_o pain_n which_o he_o have_v take_v with_o i_o in_o i_o for_o now_o be_v ill_a enough_o in_o myself_o i_o yet_o strain_v very_o hard_o to_o do_v he_o service_n and_o beside_o i_o well_o consider_v that_o by_o the_o only_o loss_n of_o he_o all_o my_o comfort_n and_o regalo_n be_v to_o be_v lose_v for_o it_o all_o be_v shut_v up_o in_o only_o he_o i_o animate_v myself_o also_o so_o much_o towards_z the_o not_o show_v he_o that_o i_o be_v in_o any_o pain_n and_o in_o continue_v so_o even_o till_o he_o expire_v as_o if_o i_o have_v feel_v no_o trouble_n at_o all_o though_o yet_o it_o be_v very_o true_a that_o when_o i_o see_v he_o come_v to_o be_v upon_o the_o very_a point_n to_o loose_v his_o life_n it_o seem_v to_o i_o as_o if_o my_o own_o very_a soul_n have_v then_o be_v tear_v out_o of_o my_o body_n for_o i_o love_v he_o much_o it_o be_v a_o thing_n to_o make_v our_o lord_n be_v high_o praise_v to_o see_v the_o death_n which_o my_o father_n die_v together_o with_o the_o desire_n which_o he_o also_o have_v to_o die_v and_o the_o counsel_n which_o he_o give_v we_o after_o he_o have_v receive_v extreme_a unction_n and_o how_o he_o charge_v we_o to_o recommend_v he_o to_o god_n and_o that_o we_o shall_v beg_v mercy_n of_o he_o for_o his_o soul_n and_o that_o we_o must_v serve_v he_o ever_o and_o consider_v that_o all_o this_o world_n must_v come_v to_o end_v with_o tear_n he_o also_o tell_v we_o how_o sad_a he_o be_v at_o the_o hart_n for_o not_o have_v serve_v his_o divine_a majesty_n better_o that_o he_o wish_v he_o be_v some_o religious_a man_n i_o mean_v that_o he_o have_v be_v so_o and_o that_o of_o the_o most_o strict_a who_o be_v in_o the_o world_n and_o i_o hold_v it_o for_o very_o certain_a that_o some_o fifteen_o day_n before_o our_o lord_n give_v he_o to_o understand_v that_o he_o be_v not_o to_o live_v because_o before_o that_o very_a time_n he_o do_v not_o think_v he_o be_v sick_a though_o yet_o he_o be_v so_o in_o good_a earnest_n but_o afterward_o though_o he_o seem_v to_o mend_v much_o in_o point_n of_o health_n and_o though_o the_o doctor_n bid_v he_o believe_v that_o there_o be_v no_o danger_n at_o all_o yet_o he_o make_v no_o account_n of_o that_o but_o only_o attend_v to_o put_v his_o soul_n in_o good_a order_n that_o sickness_n of_o he_o begin_v with_o a_o very_a grievous_a pain_n round_o about_o his_o shoulder_n which_o never_o leave_v he_o and_o sometime_o it_o press_v he_o
so_o hard_o that_o his_o affliction_n be_v very_o great_a i_o tell_v he_o once_o upon_o this_o occasion_n that_o since_o he_o have_v be_v so_o devote_a to_o that_o mystery_n when_o our_o lord_n carry_v his_o cross_n upon_o his_o back_n he_o may_v do_v well_o to_o conceive_v that_o his_o divine_a majesty_n have_v be_v please_v to_o give_v he_o a_o feeling_n of_o some_o part_n of_o that_o which_o himself_o have_v undergo_v with_o so_o much_o trouble_v and_o my_o father_n be_v so_o comfort_v by_o this_o thought_n that_o i_o remember_v he_o not_o to_o have_v ever_o complain_v more_o he_o remain_v three_o day_n with_o very_o little_a show_n of_o understanding_n but_o yet_o the_o day_n whereon_o he_o die_v our_o lord_n restore_v it_o to_o he_o &_o that_o so_o entire_o as_o we_o be_v all_o even_o amaze_v to_o see_v it_o and_o he_o continue_v in_o it_o say_v the_o creed_n and_o as_o soon_o as_o he_o have_v pass_v through_o the_o first_o part_n thereof_o he_o expire_v when_o he_o be_v dead_a he_o look_v even_o like_o a_o angel_n and_o as_o such_o in_o manner_n of_o speech_n he_o ever_o seem_v in_o my_o sight_n to_o be_v both_o in_o soul_n and_o disposition_n or_o humour_n which_o he_o have_v extreme_o good_a nor_o do_v i_o know_v why_o i_o have_v speak_v thus_o much_o of_o he_o unless_o it_o be_v to_o confess_v and_o accuse_v my_o own_o wickedness_n so_o much_o the_o more_o since_o upon_o the_o sight_n of_o such_o a_o death_n and_o the_o knowledge_n of_o such_o a_o life_n i_o ought_v to_o have_v amend_v and_o reform_v i_o if_o it_o have_v be_v but_o to_o grow_v the_o like_a to_o such_o a_o father_n his_o confessarius_fw-la who_o be_v a_o dominican_n and_o a_o great_a learned_a man_n affirm_v that_o he_o make_v no_o doubt_n but_o that_o my_o father_n will_v go_v straight_o to_o heaven_n for_o he_o who_o have_v confess_v he_o diverse_a year_n speak_v much_o of_o the_o great_a purity_n of_o his_o conscience_n this_o dominican_n father_n be_v a_o very_a worthy_a man_n and_o a_o true_a servant_n of_o god_n do_v i_o a_o great_a deal_n of_o good_a for_o i_o confess_v myself_o to_o he_o and_o he_o undertake_v the_o profit_n of_o my_o soul_n with_o care_n and_o to_o make_v i_o well_o understand_v the_o way_n of_o perdition_n wherein_o i_o be_v walk_v he_o cause_v i_o also_o to_o communicate_v every_o fifteen_o day_n and_o begin_v first_o to_o treat_v with_o he_o by_o little_a and_o little_a i_o speak_v with_o he_o afterward_o at_o length_n about_o my_o prayer_n and_o he_o tell_v i_o that_o i_o must_v not_o fail_v to_o use_v it_o and_o that_o it_o can_v not_o by_o any_o mean_n but_o do_v i_o good_a i_o begin_v therefore_o to_o use_v it_o again_o and_o from_o that_o time_n forward_o i_o never_o leave_v it_o though_o yet_o i_o do_v not_o for_o the_o present_a give-ove_a the_o occasion_n of_o my_o imperfection_n i_o therefore_o in_o the_o mean_a time_n pass_v a_o most_o sad_a life_n for_o in_o prayer_n i_o come_v to_o understand_v my_o fault_n on_o the_o one_o side_n i_o be_v call_v by_o almighty_a god_n and_o on_o the_o other_o i_o follow_v the_o world_n all_o those_o thing_n which_o belong_v to_o god_n give_v i_o great_a contentment_n but_o those_o thing_n which_o be_v of_o the_o world_n tie_v i_o up_o in_o chain_n and_o it_o seem_v i_o have_v a_o mind_n to_o make_v these_o two_o contraries_n friend_n which_o yet_o be_v so_o much_o in_o enmity_n with_o one_o another_o namely_o a_o spiritual_a life_n on_o the_o one_o side_n and_o sensual_a pastime_n contentment_n and_o delight_n on_o the_o other_o in_o my_o prayer_n i_o endure_v much_o trouble_n because_o now_o my_o spirit_n be_v grow_v to_o be_v no_o long_o a_o lord_n but_o a_o slave_n and_o therefore_o i_o be_v not_o able_a to_o shut_v myself_o up_o in_o my_o hart_n which_o be_v the_o only_o way_n of_o proceed_v i_o former_o have_v hold_v in_o my_o use_n of_o prayer_n without_o shut_v up_o a_o thousand_o vanity_n together_o with_o myself_o i_o pass_v so_o many_o year_n in_o this_o manner_n that_o now_o i_o be_o astonish_v to_o consider_v that_o any_o person_n shall_v be_v able_a to_o endure_v the_o not_o leave_v either_o the_o one_o or_o the_o other_o in_o so_o long_a a_o time_n i_o well_o know_v that_o now_o it_o be_v no_o long_o in_o my_o hand_n to_o give_v over_o mental_a prayer_n for_o he_o hold_v i_o now_o in_o his_o who_o resolve_v to_o do_v i_o great_a favour_n o_o that_o i_o can_v declare_v the_o occasion_n of_o do_v ill_a which_o god_n remove_v from_o i_o in_o those_o year_n and_o how_o i_o put_v myself_o again_o into_o they_o and_o of_o the_o danger_n wherein_o i_o be_v to_o loose_v all_o the_o opinion_n and_o reputation_n which_o i_o have_v in_o the_o world_n from_o which_o he_o free_v i_o and_o of_o the_o haste_n which_o i_o make_v to_o discover_v by_o my_o action_n what_o kind_n of_o creature_n i_o be_v and_o the_o haste_n which_o our_o lord_n make_v also_o to_o cover_v these_o fault_n and_o to_o discover_v some_o little_a virtue_n of_o i_o if_o there_o be_v any_o and_o to_o make_v the_o same_o seem_v great_a in_o the_o eye_n of_o all_o man_n in_o such_o sort_n as_o that_o they_o ever_o hold_v i_o in_o much_o account_n for_o though_o sometime_o my_o vanity_n will_v shine_v through_o my_o action_n yet_o they_o see_v other_o thing_n in_o i_o which_o appear_v good_a will_v not_o believe_v the_o ill_a but_o the_o true_a cause_n hereof_o be_v that_o the_o knower_n of_o all_o thing_n see_v that_o this_o be_v fit_a to_o be_v so_o ordain_v to_o the_o end_n that_o when_o afterward_o i_o shall_v come_v to_o persuade_v the_o world_n to_o do_v he_o service_n they_o may_v give_v i_o some_o little_a credit_n therein_o and_o that_o sovereign_a bounty_n of_o god_n do_v not_o so_o much_o consider_v my_o great_a sin_n as_o it_o do_v those_o desire_n which_o i_o have_v sometime_o to_o serve_v he_o and_o the_o great_a trouble_n i_o feel_v in_o myself_o for_o want_v power_n and_o strength_n to_o put_v the_o same_o in_o execution_n but_o o_o thou_o lord_n of_o my_o soul_n and_o how_o shall_v i_o ever_o be_v able_a to_o express_v with_o fullness_n and_o clearness_n enough_o the_o favour_n which_o thou_o show_v i_o in_o those_o year_n and_o how_o in_o that_o very_a time_n when_o i_o be_v offend_v thou_o most_o thou_o make_v such_o haste_n to_o dispose_v my_o soul_n to_o a_o most_o profound_a remorse_n and_o sorrow_n that_o so_o i_o may_v come_v to_o taste_v of_o thy_o regalo_n and_o great_a favour_n again_o the_o truth_n be_v o_o my_o king_n that_o thou_o do_v use_v the_o most_o curious_a and_o choice_a kind_n of_o sharp_a punishment_n which_o can_v possible_o to_o my_o think_n be_v find_v for_o i_o as_o one_o who_o do_v well_o understand_v what_o be_v likely_a to_o cost_v i_o the_o dear_a of_o all_o other_o thing_n for_o thou_o do_v punish_v those_o sin_n of_o i_o with_o great_a regalo_n and_o i_o think_v it_o be_v no_o impertinency_n which_o i_o utter_v though_o yet_o it_o be_v a_o kind_n of_o reason_n that_o i_o shall_v now_o 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be_v few_o for_o my_o offence_n which_o be_v so_o many_o and_o so_o very_o great_a but_o now_o to_o see_v myself_o receive_v so_o fresh_o so_o high_a favour_n while_o yet_o the_o while_n i_o make_v so_o ill_a retribution_n for_o those_o which_o i_o have_v receive_v before_o be_v in_o my_o account_n a_o kind_n of_o most_o terrible_a torment_n and_o i_o think_v it_o will_v be_v esteem_v so_o by_o all_o such_o as_o have_v any_o knowledge_n or_o love_n of_o god_n and_o we_o may_v easy_o find_v this_o to_o be_v true_a even_o by_o the_o natural_a condition_n of_o person_n
to_o find_v that_o they_o resolve_v to_o carry_v i_o away_o as_o conceave_a that_o there_o be_v some_o goodness_n in_o i_o for_o consider_v how_o wicked_a i_o know_v myself_o to_o be_v i_o can_v by_o no_o mean_n endure_v it_o but_o so_o recommend_v myself_o much_o to_o almighty_a god_n i_o remain_v during_o all_o the_o time_n of_o matin_n or_o at_o least_o the_o far_o large_a part_n thereof_o in_o a_o very_a great_a rapt_v our_o lord_n declare_v to_o i_o then_o that_o i_o shall_v not_o fail_v to_o go_v and_o that_o i_o be_v not_o to_o harken_v to_o the_o opinion_n of_o other_o for_o few_o will_v think_v without_o rashness_n that_o they_o can_v advise_v i_o to_o go_v but_o that_o howsoever_o the_o journey_n may_v be_v of_o much_o trouble_n to_o i_o yet_o that_o he_o will_v be_v great_o serve_v thereby_o and_o that_o it_o will_v be_v also_o very_o convenient_a that_o i_o shall_v absent_v myself_o from_o hence_o till_o the_o breve_fw-la be_v come_v because_o the_o devil_n have_v a_o great_a plot_n provide_v against_o the_o time_n when_o the_o provincial_n shall_v be_v there_o but_o yet_o that_o i_o must_v be_v afraid_a of_o nothing_o for_o that_o in_o fine_a he_o shall_v assist_v i_o in_o the_o business_n upon_o this_o i_o be_v much_o comfort_v and_o encourage_v and_o i_o relate_v the_o whole_a story_n to_o the_o rectour_n who_o tell_v i_o that_o i_o must_v by_o no_o mean_n forbear_v to_o go_v but_o other_o say_v that_o i_o must_v not_o do_v it_o by_o any_o mean_n and_o that_o it_o be_v but_o a_o invention_n of_o the_o devil_n to_o the_o end_n that_o some_o mischief_n may_v happen_v to_o i_o and_o that_o my_o best_a way_n will_v be_v to_o reply_v upon_o the_o provincial_n but_o i_o obey_v the_o rectour_n and_o consider_v also_o what_o have_v pass_v in_o prayer_n i_o begin_v my_o journey_n without_o fear_n but_o yet_o not_o without_o extreme_a confusion_n to_o consider_v under_o what_o title_n and_o occasion_n they_o call_v for_o i_o and_o find_v how_o much_o they_o be_v deceive_v it_o make_v i_o even_o importune_v our_o bless_a lord_n so_o much_o the_o more_o not_o to_o forsake_v i_o now_o it_o comfort_v i_o extreme_o that_o there_o be_v in_o that_o place_n whither_o i_o be_v go_v a_o college_n of_o the_o society_n of_o jesus_n and_o that_o i_o may_v be_v subject_a to_o that_o wherein_o they_o shall_v direct_v i_o when_o i_o be_v there_o for_o by_o this_o mean_n i_o conceive_v that_o i_o be_v to_o be_v in_o a_o kind_n of_o safety_n but_o when_o i_o arrive_v there_o our_o bless_a lord_n be_v please_v that_o the_o lady_n shall_v receive_v so_o much_o comfort_n that_o her_o amendment_n be_v quick_o see_v for_o she_o be_v every_o day_n better_a and_o better_o and_o this_o be_v the_o more_o esteem_v because_o as_o i_o say_v before_o the_o pain_n wherein_o she_o be_v do_v hold_v she_o in_o great_a difficulty_n and_o straits_n and_o it_o be_v likely_a that_o our_o lord_n grant_v her_o ease_n at_o the_o instance_n of_o the_o many_o prayer_n which_o certain_a holy_a person_n who_o i_o know_v do_v make_v in_o my_o behalf_n that_o so_o all_o may_v succeed_v happy_o to_o i_o she_o have_v also_o even_o in_o herself_o a_o great_a fear_n of_o almighty_a god_n and_o be_v so_o full_a of_o virtue_n and_o goodness_n that_o her_o much_o christianity_n and_o piety_n supply_v for_o that_o which_o be_v want_v in_o i_o now_o she_o grow_v into_o a_o great_a love_n of_o i_o and_o i_o remain_v not_o a_o whitt_n in_o her_o debt_n when_o i_o see_v her_o goodness_n but_o yet_o in_o effect_n even_o all_o be_v trouble_v to_o i_o there_o for_o the_o regalo_n which_o they_o give_v i_o be_v no_o less_o than_o so_o many_o torment_n to_o i_o and_o their_o make_v so_o much_o account_n of_o i_o as_o they_o show_v do_v put_v i_o into_o a_o great_a deal_n of_o fear_n i_o therefore_o carry_v my_o soul_n so_o restrain_v and_o so_o retire_v within_o myself_o that_o i_o dare_v not_o be_v any_o way_n careless_a in_o that_o kind_n and_o so_o also_o be_v not_o our_o lord_n unmindful_a of_o i_o for_o he_o do_v i_o whilst_o i_o be_v there_o most_o excessive_a favour_n and_o they_o endue_v i_o with_o so_o true_a and_o so_o great_a liberty_n of_o spirit_n as_o to_o make_v i_o undervalue_v &_o despise_v all_o those_o testimony_n of_o estimation_n &_o honour_n which_o i_o find_v there_o &_o the_o more_o the_o more_o and_o so_o as_o that_o i_o fail_v not_o to_o treat_v with_o those_o lady_n who_o be_v so_o great_a with_o as_o much_o liberty_n as_o if_o i_o have_v be_v equal_a to_o they_o whereas_o yet_o they_o be_v of_o such_o quality_n that_o i_o may_v without_o any_o dishonour_n at_o all_o to_o myself_o have_v be_v even_o their_o domestic_a servant_n i_o draw_v a_o great_a advantage_n and_o benefit_n from_o thence_o and_o so_o i_o tell_v she_o i_o find_v that_o she_o be_v subject_a to_o some_o weakness_n and_o passion_n as_o myself_o be_o and_o how_o little_a she_o be_v in_o reason_n to_o esteem_v her_o greatness_n and_o power_n which_o still_o the_o more_o it_o be_v so_o much_o the_o more_o trouble_n and_o care_n it_o draw_v after_o it_o and_o they_o be_v fain_o to_o take_v such_o thought_n for_o live_v in_o such_o a_o form_n and_o method_n as_o be_v fit_a forsooth_o for_o their_o greatness_n and_o rank_n that_o upon_o the_o matter_n it_o scarce_o give_v they_o leave_v to_o live_v for_o they_o eat_v out_o of_o time_n and_o out_o of_o order_n because_o all_o forsooth_o must_v go_v in_o conformity_n to_o the_o state_n which_o they_o hold_v and_o not_o with_o any_o regard_n to_o their_o constitution_n and_o health_n nay_o sometime_o they_o must_v feed_v upon_o such_o meat_n as_o be_v more_o agreeable_a to_o their_o greatness_n then_o to_o their_o gust_n and_o so_o as_o that_o for_o my_o part_n i_o whole_o abhor_v so_o much_o as_o even_o to_o desire_v to_o be_v a_o great_a lady_n god_n deliver_v i_o from_o such_o ill-favoured_a gravity_n and_o greatness_n as_o this_o for_o though_o the_o lady_n of_o who_o i_o speak_v be_v one_o of_o the_o great_a of_o this_o kingdom_n and_o i_o believe_v there_o be_v few_o more_o humble_a and_o more_o affable_a than_o she_o yet_o real_o i_o have_v and_o have_v compassion_n of_o she_o to_o see_v how_o she_o pass_v many_o time_n not_o in_o conformity_n even_o so_o much_o as_o with_o her_o own_o inclination_n but_o to_o comply_v with_o her_o condition_n for_o even_o in_o point_n of_o servant_n there_o be_v very_o little_a trust_n to_o be_v repose_v and_o though_o she_o have_v they_o good_a yet_o must_v she_o not_o speak_v more_o confident_o and_o kind_o to_o one_o of_o they_o then_o to_o another_o and_o if_o she_o do_v whosoever_o be_v most_o favour_a by_o she_o must_v be_v sure_a to_o be_v less_o belove_v by_o other_o in_o fine_a this_o greatness_n be_v a_o great_a subjection_n and_o indeed_o one_o of_o the_o great_a lie_n which_o ever_o the_o world_n can_v tell_v be_v when_o it_o call_v such_o person_n as_o these_o lord_n and_o lady_n for_o as_o for_o i_o they_o all_o seem_v to_o be_v no_o other_o thing_n then_o even_o slave_n and_o that_o a_o thousand_o time_n over_o our_o lord_n be_v please_v at_o that_o time_n whilst_o i_o remain_v with_o that_o lady_n in_o her_o house_n that_o the_o domestics_n also_o there_o improve_v much_o in_o the_o service_n of_o his_o divine_a majesty_n though_o yet_o for_o my_o part_n i_o be_v not_o free_a from_o some_o trouble_n yea_o and_o certain_a envy_n also_o which_o be_v express_v to_o my_o disadvantage_n by_o certain_a person_n in_o regard_n of_o the_o great_a affection_n which_o that_o lady_n bear_v i_o and_o perhaps_o they_o be_v so_o ill_o advise_v as_o to_o imagine_v that_o i_o have_v some_o thought_n of_o interest_n by_o what_o i_o do_v but_o our_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o permit_v that_o they_o shall_v give_v i_o some_o few_o little_a trouble_n both_o in_o this_o kind_n and_o also_o in_o other_o lest_o else_o i_o may_v perhaps_o have_v grow_v to_o be_v intoxicate_v by_o the_o regalo_n which_o be_v vouchsafe_v to_o i_o on_o the_o other_o side_n but_o he_o be_v please_v to_o fetch_v i_o out_o of_o all_o those_o accident_n and_o adventure_n with_o the_o advantage_n and_o improvement_n of_o my_o own_o soul_n whilst_o yet_o i_o remain_v there_o a_o certain_a religious_a man_n and_o a_o very_a eminent_a person_n with_o who_o i_o have_v treat_v sometime_o though_o it_o be_v main_a year_n before_o do_v chance_n to_o arrive_v in_o that_o place_n and_o i_o be_v one_o day_n at_o mass_n in_o a_o monastery_n of_o his_o order_n which_o be_v near_o to_o the_o place_n where_o i_o keep_v be_v take_v with_o a_o
kind_n of_o inclination_n to_o know_v in_o what_o condition_n or_o state_n that_o soul_n be_v for_o i_o desire_v that_o he_o may_v be_v a_o very_a great_a servant_n of_o almighty_a god_n i_o rise_v then_o from_o sit_v where_o i_o be_v that_o so_o i_o may_v be_v go_v towards_o he_o but_o yet_o have_v be_v already_o recollect_v in_o prayer_n it_o seem_v to_o i_o then_o afterward_o that_o it_o will_v be_v no_o better_o then_o lose_v time_n and_o what_o forsooth_o have_v i_o to_o do_v with_o he_o and_o so_o i_o then_o dispose_v myself_o to_o sit_v down_o again_o and_o as_o i_o now_o remember_v i_o do_v the_o very_a same_o thing_n no_o less_o than_o three_o several_a time_n in_o fine_a the_o good_a angel_n be_v strong_a than_o the_o ill_a and_o i_o go_v and_o require_v he_o to_o be_v call_v and_o so_o he_o come_v i_o than_o begin_v to_o ask_v he_o diverse_a question_n as_o he_o do_v i_o because_o many_o year_n have_v slip_v away_o since_o we_o meet_v last_o concern_v the_o several_a life_n of_o one_o another_o and_o i_o begin_v to_o tell_v he_o that_o as_o for_o i_o it_o have_v be_v subject_a to_o many_o affliction_n of_o mind_n upon_o this_o he_o press_v much_o to_o know_v what_o those_o affliction_n may_v be_v and_o i_o tell_v he_o that_o it_o be_v neither_o great_o pertinent_a to_o be_v know_v nor_o very_o fit_a for_o i_o to_o relate_v but_o he_o reply_v that_o since_o the_o father_n of_o s._n dominick_n order_n know_v they_o that_o father_n who_o i_o have_v affirm_v to_o be_v so_o much_o his_o friend_n will_v present_o let_v he_o know_v they_o and_o therefore_o that_o i_o need_v not_o trouble_v myself_o to_o relate_v they_o but_o in_o fine_a the_o case_n grow_v to_o be_v this_o that_o neither_o be_v it_o in_o his_o power_n to_o forbear_v to_o importune_v i_o nor_o in_o i_o to_o forbear_v to_o declare_v myself_o herein_o to_o he_o for_o with_o all_o that_o trouble_n and_o shame_n which_o i_o use_v to_o have_v whensoever_o there_o be_v discourse_n of_o thing_n like_o this_o yet_o when_o i_o treat_v of_o they_o with_o this_o man_n and_o with_o the_o rectour_n also_o of_o the_o society_n of_o who_o i_o speak_v before_o it_o put_v i_o to_o no_o trouble_n at_o all_o but_o rather_o it_o be_v of_o comfort_n to_o i_o i_o therefore_o unfold_v myself_o to_o he_o but_o yet_o under_o the_o seal_n of_o confession_n and_o i_o thought_n he_o be_v more_o advise_v then_o ever_o though_o i_o always_o hold_v he_o to_o be_v a_o man_n of_o very_o great_a understanding_n i_o consider_v the_o many_o talent_n and_o part_n he_o have_v wherewith_o to_o do_v a_o huge_a deal_n of_o good_a if_o he_o will_v give_v himself_o entire_o to_o almighty_a god_n and_o it_o be_v true_a that_o i_o have_v have_v this_o quality_n for_o diverse_a of_o these_o latter_a year_n that_o i_o can_v see_v any_o creature_n who_o content_v i_o much_o of_o but_o i_o must_v instant_o desire_v to_o have_v he_o whole_o give_v to_o almighty_a god_n and_o i_o wish_v it_o even_o with_o such_o a_o extremity_n of_o appetite_n that_o i_o know_v not_o almost_o in_o those_o case_n what_o to_o do_v with_o myself_o and_o though_o it_o be_v very_o true_a that_o i_o will_v fain_o have_v all_o the_o world_n do_v he_o service_n yet_o i_o desire_v with_o very_o great_a impulse_n and_o even_o impetuositie_n that_o the_o person_n who_o please_v i_o best_o shall_v do_v it_o most_o and_o so_o i_o often_o use_v to_o importune_v our_o lord_n extreme_o in_o their_o behalf_n but_o as_o for_o that_o religious_a man_n of_o who_o i_o be_v speak_v he_o beseech_v i_o that_o i_o will_v recommend_v he_o earnest_o to_o almighty_a god_n but_o that_o be_v more_o than_o need_v for_o already_o i_o be_v so_o go_v with_o the_o man_n that_o i_o can_v not_o possible_o do_v otherwise_o and_o so_o i_o go_v to_o the_o place_n where_o i_o be_v accustom_v to_o put_v myself_o in_o prayer_n all_o alone_a and_o be_v then_o in_o deep_a recollection_n i_o begin_v to_o deal_v with_o our_o bless_a lord_n and_o it_o be_v in_o a_o stile_n so_o very_o familiar_a that_o it_o be_v even_o half_a foolish_a for_o i_o treat_v with_o he_o many_o time_n without_o know_v almost_o distinct_o what_o i_o say_v for_o then_o it_o be_v not_o so_o proper_o my_o person_n as_o my_o love_n which_o speak_v and_o the_o soul_n be_v so_o alienate_v even_o from_o herself_o that_o i_o scarce_o discern_v the_o difference_n which_o then_o there_o be_v between_o almighty_a god_n and_o i_o for_o the_o great_a love_n which_o my_o soul_n know_v that_o his_o divine_a majesty_n bear_v she_o make_v she_o forget_v what_o she_o be_v in_o herself_o as_o conceave_a that_o she_o be_v then_o in_o he_o and_o so_o as_o if_o both_o she_o and_o he_o be_v one_o and_o the_o selfsame_a thing_n without_o division_n or_o distinction_n she_o utter_v but_o impertinency_n and_o roaving_n i_o remember_v that_o i_o tell_v he_o thus_o much_o after_o i_o have_v beg_v of_o he_o with_o abundance_n of_o tear_n that_o the_o soul_n of_o that_o religious_a man_n may_v apply_v itself_o to_o his_o service_n in_o great_a earnest_n that_o although_o i_o hold_v he_o already_o for_o good_a yet_o that_o will_v not_o serve_v my_o turn_n for_o i_o must_v have_v he_o very_o good_a and_o according_o i_o say_v further_o thus_o in_o plain_a term_n o_o lord_n thou_o must_v not_o deny_v i_o this_o favour_n but_o consider_v that_o this_o man_n will_v be_v very_o fit_a to_o make_v afreind_n for_o we_o both_o o_o great_a humanity_n and_o bounty_n of_o almighty_a god_n nor_o do_v he_o so_o much_o consider_v our_o word_n but_o the_o desire_n and_o affection_n wherewith_o they_o be_v speak_v but_o now_o how_o can_v he_o come_v to_o endure_v that_o such_o a_o miserable_a creature_n as_o i_o shall_v speak_v to_o his_o divine_a majesty_n with_o so_o much_o boldness_n but_o let_v he_o be_v bless_v for_o ever_o the_o while_n i_o remember_v well_o that_o in_o those_o hour_n of_o prayer_n wherein_o i_o exercise_v myself_o that_o night_n our_o lord_n give_v i_o a_o great_a affliction_n by_o my_o doubt_n whether_o i_o be_v in_o his_o favour_n but_o now_o i_o desire_v not_o so_o much_o to_o know_v that_o as_o i_o do_v even_o desire_v to_o die_v rather_o than_o to_o continue_v in_o such_o a_o life_n as_o wherein_o i_o may_v not_o be_v sure_a whether_o i_o be_v dead_a or_o no._n for_o it_o be_v not_o possible_a for_o i_o to_o endure_v a_o sharp_a death_n then_o to_o think_v that_o i_o have_v offend_v almighty_a god_n and_o this_o pain_n put_v i_o into_o such_o straits_n that_o be_v all_o regaled_a as_o i_o be_v and_o even_o melt_v and_o dissolve_v in_o tear_n i_o humble_o beseech_v his_o divine_a majesty_n that_o he_o will_v not_o permit_v it_o and_o so_o i_o come_v then_o to_o understand_v that_o i_o may_v well_o be_v comfort_v and_o confide_v that_o i_o be_v in_o state_n of_o grace_n for_o that_o such_o love_n of_o almighty_a god_n and_o the_o impart_v of_o such_o favour_n and_o feeling_n as_o his_o divine_a majesty_n vouchsafe_v to_o i_o be_v not_o compatible_a with_o any_o such_o soul_n as_o shall_v be_v in_o mortal_a sinne._n but_o in_o the_o mean_a time_n i_o grow_v into_o a_o kind_n of_o assure_a hope_n that_o our_o lord_n will_v grant_v the_o thing_n to_o that_o other_o person_n which_o i_o humble_o beg_v at_o his_o hand_n he_o command_v i_o also_o to_o deliver_v certain_a word_n to_o he_o but_o at_o this_o indeed_o i_o be_v trouble_v much_o as_o not_o know_v how_o i_o shall_v be_v able_a to_o utter_v they_o for_o the_o point_n of_o carry_v a_o message_n to_o a_o three_o person_n in_o such_o sort_n as_o i_o be_v say_v be_v a_o thing_n which_o do_v always_o afflict_v i_o especial_o when_o i_o know_v not_o how_o it_o will_v be_v take_v or_o whether_o the_o person_n will_v not_o laugh_v at_o i_o for_o my_o labour_n this_o put_v i_o to_o a_o great_a deal_n of_o trouble_n but_o yet_o in_o fine_a i_o think_v i_o be_v so_o far_o persuade_v as_o to_o promise_v almighty_a god_n that_o i_o will_v not_o forbear_v to_o impart_v they_o and_o through_o the_o great_a confusion_n and_o shame_n wherein_o i_o be_v i_o hart_n write_v they_o and_o so_o deliver_v they_o to_o he_o and_o now_o this_o well_o appear_v to_o be_v a_o action_n of_o almighty_a god_n by_o the_o great_a effect_n it_o wrought_v for_o he_o resolve_v to_o give_v himself_o to_o prayer_n after_o very_o a_o serious_a manner_n though_o yet_o he_o do_v it_o not_o so_o very_o soon_o but_o yet_o our_o lord_n design_v to_o make_v he_o whole_o his_o own_o be_v please_v to_o declare_v certain_a truth_n to_o he_o by_o my_o mean_n