righteousness_n be_v more_o satisfactory_a and_o please_a unto_o god_n than_o all_o the_o sinner_n wickedness_n be_v injurious_a and_o displease_v to_o he_o o_o this_o be_v a_o very_a sweet_a and_o comfortable_a consideration_n indeed_o there_o be_v no_o such_o evil_a in_o sin_n to_o damn_v thou_o as_o there_o be_v merit_n in_o christ_n blood_n to_o save_v thou_o ix_o to_o despair_v of_o mercy_n be_v a_o great_a sin_n than_o all_o thy_o other_o sin_n this_o make_v thou_o like_o the_o devil_n himself_o it_o be_v the_o glory_n of_o divine_a grace_n to_o triumph_v over_o all_o the_o sinner_n unworthiness_n resolve_v therefore_o i_o will_v yet_o follow_v god_n though_o i_o have_v offend_v he_o come_v on_o i_o what_o will_v i_o know_v he_o be_v god_n and_o not_o man_n who_o can_v help_v nay_o will_v help_v if_o i_o come_v unto_o he_o isa_n 57_o 16._o i_o will_v not_o contend_v for_o ever_o nor_o be_v always_o wroth_a for_o the_o spirit_n will_v fail_v before_o i_o and_o the_o soul_n that_o 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and_o promise_n be_v he_o speak_v as_o comfortable_o in_o his_o word_n as_o ever_o he_o can_v deny_v his_o own_o word_n god_n sometime_o withdraw_v comfort_n that_o we_o may_v prize_v his_o word_n more_o and_o depend_v more_o upon_o that_o you_o please_v and_o honour_n god_n most_o when_o you_o can_v venture_v your_o soul_n on_o his_o bare_a word_n and_o promise_n a_o faith_n of_o recumbency_n on_o christ_n in_o the_o want_n of_o comfort_n do_v more_o honour_n god_n than_o the_o high_a faith_n of_o assurance_n why_o shall_v death_n be_v a_o terror_n to_o they_o that_o fear_v god_n none_o need_v to_o fear_v death_n that_o be_v escape_v from_o the_o dominion_n of_o sin_n and_o the_o devil_n can_v you_o say_v you_o do_v not_o love_n christ_n and_o that_o you_o do_v love_n sin_n then_o there_o be_v cause_n enough_o for_o fear_n but_o this_o be_v to_o bely_v the_o bless_a spirit_n the_o godly_a have_v hope_n in_o his_o death_n a_o hope_n of_o life_n even_o at_o the_o point_n of_o death_n 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their_o god_n and_o therefore_o let_v not_o the_o saint_n of_o god_n be_v afraid_a of_o death_n xi_o psal_n 147._o 11._o the_o lord_n take_v pleasure_n in_o they_o that_o fear_v he_o in_o they_o that_o hope_v in_o his_o mercy_n then_o our_o prayer_n please_v god_n when_o they_o be_v put_v up_o to_o he_o in_o faith_n and_o hope_n of_o his_o mercy_n poor_a tremble_a soul_n that_o meditute_v nothing_o but_o terror_n little_o think_v how_o it_o will_v please_v god_n to_o see_v they_o to_o hope_v in_o his_o mercy_n they_o be_v conscious_a to_o themselves_o how_o they_o have_v displease_v god_n but_o hope_v in_o god_n mercy_n and_o he_o will_v take_v pleasure_n in_o thou_o they_o bring_v most_o honour_n to_o god_n that_o be_v most_o admire_a and_o magnify_v of_o his_o mercy_n his_o heart_n be_v most_o set_v on_o mercy_n in_o all_o the_o manifestation_n of_o it_o therefore_o let_v poor_a droop_a soul_n still_o maintain_v hope_n in_o the_o mercy_n of_o god_n through_o christ_n xii_o this_o be_v certain_a in_o every_o afflictive_a providence_n to_o believer_n there_o be_v more_o mercy_n than_o wrath_n nay_o it_o be_v all_o mercy_n in_o the_o issue_n and_o not_o in_o revengeful_a wrath_n but_o paternal_a anger_n they_o have_v support_v under_o all_o sometime_o they_o may_v be_v under_o desertion_n and_o no_o comfort_n of_o god_n come_v into_o their_o soul_n they_o be_v ready_a to_o say_v lord_n why_o cast_v thou_o off_o my_o soul_n but_o then_o they_o have_v this_o to_o support_v they_o they_o can_v love_v god_n and_o mourn_v after_o his_o favour_n though_o he_o seem_v to_o be_v go_v from_o they_o they_o can_v look_v after_o he_o and_o long_o for_o his_o return_n and_o this_o be_v such_o a_o effect_n of_o grace_n that_o be_v more_o worth_a than_o the_o whole_a world_n sustentation_n say_v mr._n baines_n i_o thank_v god_n i_o have_v though_o suavity_n i_o have_v none_o sickness_n and_o sorrow_n and_o death_n that_o be_v the_o fruit_n of_o sin_n none_o can_v be_v exempt_v from_o but_o grace_n do_v this_o for_o believer_n the_o curse_n the_o hurt_a the_o venom_n of_o all_o be_v take_v away_o they_o be_v gainer_n by_o all_o 2_o cor._n 4._o 16._o though_o our_o outward_a man_n etc._n etc._n all_o work_n for_o their_o good_a other_o have_v comfort_n with_o a_o curse_n but_o believer_n have_v cross_n with_o a_o blessing_n the_o gild_n of_o sin_n the_o grace_n of_o god_n in_o christ_n do_v quite_o take_v away_o from_o all_o believer_n heb._n 8._o 12._o pardon_v mercy_n clear_v the_o soul_n of_o gild_n what_o comfort_n be_v this_o to_o such_o that_o by_o the_o grace_n of_o justification_n through_o christ_n they_o be_v in_o god_n account_n righteous_a and_o upon_o the_o account_n of_o christ_n their_o righteousness_n they_o may_v come_v into_o god_n presence_n with_o as_o assure_a welcome_n as_o adam_n in_o paradise_n or_o the_o angel_n now_o in_o heaven_n this_o thou_o may_v be_v assure_v of_o that_o christ_n will_v not_o break_v the_o bruise_a reed_n nor_o 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very_o great_a true_o but_o the_o meroy_n of_o god_n be_v far_o great_a o_o but_o my_o sin_n be_v of_o long_a continuance_n true_o but_o yet_o thy_o sin_n be_v but_o sin_n of_o time_n his_o mercy_n be_v the_o mercy_n of_o eternity_n o_o but_o my_o sin_n be_v great_a than_o you_o be_v aware_a of_o they_o be_v crimson_a scarlet_a sin_n how_o great_a be_v they_o be_v they_o as_o great_a as_o the_o sin_n of_o manasseh_n that_o be_v a_o wizard_n that_o fill_v jerusalem_n with_o blood_n yet_o god_n pardon_v he_o be_v they_o great_a than_o the_o sin_n of_o mary_n magdalen_n out_o of_o who_o be_v cast_v seven_o devil_n and_o yet_o god_n have_v mercy_n for_o she_o o_o but_o i_o fear_v the_o stock_n of_o mercy_n be_v quite_o spend_v no_o his_o mercy_n endure_v for_o ever_o it_o be_v from_o everlasting_a to_o everlasting_a but_o i_o have_v exceed_o abuse_v mercy_n yet_o remember_v that_o though_o thou_o have_v sin_v against_o his_o mercy_n yet_o thou_o have_v not_o sin_v above_o his_o mercy_n isa_n 55._o 8._o my_o thought_n be_v not_o as_o your_o thought_n nor_o my_o way_n as_o your_o way_n as_o the_o heaven_n be_v above_o the_o earth_n so_o be_v my_o thought_n above_o your_o thought_n and_o my_o way_n above_o your_o way_n finis_fw-la finis_fw-la my_o honour_a friend_n mr._n joshua_n gearing_n sen._n
of_o it_o the_o devil_n thanks_o be_v to_o god_n who_o have_v give_v he_o and_o assure_v we_o of_o the_o victory_n through_o our_o lord_n jesus_n christ_n to_o he_o be_v glory_n throughout_o all_o the_o church_n for_o ever_o amen_n the_o character_n and_o trial_n of_o a_o real_a christian_a now_o follow_v out_o of_o his_o own_o paper_n the_o manner_n of_o his_o examine_v his_o heart_n and_o life_n state_n and_o frame_n and_o the_o result_n thereof_o record_v and_o write_v for_o his_o support_n in_o after-difficulty_n some_o may_v be_v excite_v by_o it_o to_o a_o imitation_n and_o other_o find_v encouragement_n by_o what_o relieve_v he_o against_o his_o doubt_n and_o fear_n and_o enable_v he_o to_o persevere_v even_o without_o full_a assurance_n henry_n gearing_n though_o i_o have_v be_v under_o much_o hardness_n and_o deadness_n for_o many_o year_n yet_o i_o think_v good_a for_o my_o encouragement_n here_o to_o record_v god_n goodness_n to_o i_o sometime_o by_o look_v over_o my_o 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psalm_n but_o for_o the_o most_o part_n i_o have_v be_v a_o great_a stranger_n to_o joy_n and_o comfort_n ever_o since_o the_o day_n of_o my_o youth_n these_o thing_n i_o write_v march_v 18._o 1689_o be_v remark_n in_o general_a of_o near_o twenty_o year_n past_a as_o to_o what_o i_o have_v write_v in_o this_o little_a book_n it_o be_v first_o in_o shorthand_n and_o never_o intend_v to_o be_v transcribe_v but_o afterward_o i_o consider_v that_o many_o thing_n in_o it_o may_v be_v of_o use_n to_o i_o by_o another_o read_n of_o it_o if_o it_o shall_v please_v god_n to_o lay_v his_o hand_n upon_o i_o that_o i_o can_v not_o myself_o read_v my_o shorthand_n and_o i_o know_v not_o but_o something_o in_o it_o may_v be_v useful_a to_o other_o i_o hope_v and_o pray_v it_o may_v be_v so_o unto_o many_o if_o the_o like_a serious_a spirit_n accompany_v every_o reader_n in_o the_o perusal_n of_o the_o follow_a paper_n as_o he_o have_v in_o write_v they_o beg_v it_o of_o god_n and_o then_o begin_v to_o read_v anno_fw-la 1676_o march_v 28._o have_v have_v in_o my_o thought_n sometime_o to_o keep_v a_o secret_a â—ast_n in_o my_o closet_n chief_o to_o search_v and_o try_v the_o state_n of_o my_o soul_n this_o day_n i_o do_v it_o and_o hope_v i_o do_v set_v about_o it_o in_o the_o integrity_n of_o my_o heart_n my_o chief_a design_n be_v to_o examine_v how_o the_o case_n stand_v between_o god_n and_o my_o soul_n whether_o i_o have_v indeed_o a_o work_n of_o save_a grace_n wrought_v in_o i_o and_o that_o i_o may_v get_v corruption_n that_o be_v strong_a more_o mortify_v especial_o the_o sin_n i_o most_o incline_v unto_o and_o that_o i_o may_v be_v enable_v from_o god_n to_o carry_v it_o better_o in_o my_o christian_a course_n both_o in_o my_o family_n and_o in_o secret_a retirement_n to_o the_o glory_n of_o god_n after_o prayer_n that_o god_n will_v help_v i_o to_o try_v myself_o i_o go_v to_o the_o work_n of_o self-examination_n by_o the_o character_n that_o mr._n ambrose_n have_v 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