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will_v proceed_v and_o prosper_v according_a to_o what_o his_o divine_a majesty_n have_v tell_v i_o the_o other_o house_n which_o the_o beata_fw-la of_o who_o i_o speak_v before_o procure_v to_o erect_v be_v now_o already_o make_v in_o alcalà _fw-fr and_o there_o want_v not_o also_o opposition_n and_o great_a affliction_n and_o trouble_n to_o they_o who_o labour_v in_o it_o i_o know_v that_o all_o religious_a observance_n be_v perform_v there_o according_a to_o the_o first_o institution_n of_o this_o our_o rule_n and_o i_o beseech_v our_o bless_a lord_n that_o all_o may_v turn_v to_o his_o honour_n and_o praise_n and_o of_o the_o glorious_a virgin_n marie_n who_o habit_n we_o wear_v amen_n i_o well_o believe_v that_o your_o reverence_n will_v have_v be_v weary_v with_o the_o long_a relation_n which_o i_o i_o have_v make_v you_o of_o this_o monastery_n which_o yet_o in_o some_o respect_n will_v fallout_a to_o have_v be_v but_o very_o short_a consider_v the_o many_o affliction_n which_o 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be_v instant_o send_v away_o again_o and_o i_o can_v not_o yet_o persuade_v myself_o to_o be_v one_o at_o this_o time_n though_o myself_o be_v not_o altogether_o without_o care_n of_o my_o cure_n yet_o our_o lord_n be_v much_o full_a of_o desire_n to_o dispose_v i_o for_o that_o state_n which_o will_v be_v best_a for_o my_o soul_n he_o then_o give_v i_o so_o great_a a_o sickness_n that_o i_o be_v force_v to_o return_v home_o to_o my_o father_n house_n and_o when_v once_o i_o be_v recover_v they_o conduct_v i_o to_o give_v a_o visit_n to_o one_o of_o my_o sister_n in_o the_o country_n for_o the_o love_n which_o i_o bear_v she_o be_v extreme_a and_o by_o her_o will_n i_o shall_v never_o have_v part_v from_o she_o her_o husband_n do_v also_o love_v i_o very_o much_o and_o at_o least_o he_o regale_v i_o high_o and_o even_o for_o this_o also_o be_o i_o oblige_v to_o our_o bless_a lord_n since_o in_o all_o place_n where_o i_o have_v be_v i_o be_v ever_o treat_v after_o this_o manner_n 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yet_o i_o pretend_v that_o i_o have_v for_o in_o the_o point_n of_o give_v contentment_n to_o other_o i_o have_v ever_o a_o extreme_a kind_n of_o care_n how_o dear_a soever_o it_o may_v cost_v i_o so_o that_o the_o same_o thing_n which_o have_v be_v virtue_n in_o other_o be_v a_o great_a fault_n in_o i_o because_o i_o often_o carry_v myself_o therein_o with_o much_o indiscretion_n o_o my_o god_n by_o what_o way_n do_v thy_o divine_a majesty_n go_v dispose_v i_o for_o that_o state_n in_o which_o thou_o be_v please_v that_o i_o shall_v serve_v thou_o since_o thou_o do_v even_o force_v i_o thus_o as_o it_o be_v against_o my_o will_n to_o force_v myself_o be_v thou_o bless_v for_o all_o eternity_n amen_o though_o i_o stay_v not_o long_o in_o that_o place_n yet_o by_o the_o effect_n which_o the_o word_n of_o almighty_a god_n wrought_v in_o my_o hart_n whether_o they_o be_v read_v or_o hear_v by_o i_o together_o with_o so_o good_a company_n as_o that_o be_v wherein_o i_o find_v myself_o 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buy_v heaven_n where_o they_o be_v to_o see_v and_o enjoy_v his_o divine_a majesty_n very_o good_a cheap_a and_o myself_o also_o desire_v much_o to_o die_v so_o though_o not_o yet_o for_o the_o love_n which_o i_o find_v and_o feel_v myself_o to_o bear_v he_o but_o rather_o that_o i_o may_v come_v by_o so_o compendious_a a_o way_n to_o enjoy_v those_o great_a felicity_n which_o i_o have_v read_v to_o be_v impart_v in_o heaven_n i_o associate_v myself_o therefore_o to_o this_o brother_n of_o i_o to_o consider_v what_o mean_v there_o may_v be_v for_o our_o obtain_v this_o end_n and_o so_o we_o grow_v to_o resolve_v that_o we_o will_v go_v into_o barbary_n among_o the_o moor_n and_o beg_v by_o the_o way_n as_o we_o go_v that_o so_o we_o may_v come_v by_o degree_n to_o loose_v our_o life_n there_o for_o our_o lord_n and_o it_o seem_v that_o he_o give_v we_o courage_n enough_o for_o this_o purpose_n even_o in_o that_o tender_a age_n of_o we_o if_o we_o can_v have_v find_v any_o mean_n to_o 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to_o set_v up_o some_o little_a oratorye_n or_o chapel_n after_o the_o manner_n of_o heremitage_n the_o best_a we_o can_v and_o we_o assemble_v little_a stone_n for_o that_o purpose_n which_o will_v instant_o be_v fall_v down_o again_o and_o so_o we_o meet_v with_o no_o mean_n to_o put_v out_o good_a desire_n in_o execution_n but_o in_o the_o mean_a time_n i_o be_o not_o without_o some_o feel_n of_o devotion_n to_o consider_v how_o soon_o it_o please_v almighty_a god_n to_o give_v i_o this_o kind_n of_o tenderness_n towards_o he_o which_o afterward_o i_o grow_v to_o loose_v through_o my_o own_o fault_n i_o give_v alm_n as_o well_o as_o i_o can_v though_o it_o be_v but_o little_a i_o procure_v to_o be_v much_o alone_a for_o the_o better_a do_v my_o devotion_n which_o be_v many_o and_o especial_o that_o of_o the_o rosarie_n to_o which_o my_o mother_n be_v much_o affect_v and_o she_o endeavour_v also_o to_o make_v we_o so_o i_o take_v particular_a contentment_n while_o i_o be_v play_v with_o other_o child_n like_o myself_o to_o frame_v certain_a little_a thing_n like_o monastery_n as_o if_o we_o have_v be_v religious_a woman_n and_o i_o thought_n i_o desire_v to_o be_v one_o though_o yet_o not_o with_o such_o vehemency_n of_o affection_n as_o i_o do_v those_o other_o thing_n whereof_o i_o speak_v i_o remember_v that_o when_o my_o mother_n die_v she_o leave_v i_o a_o little_a less_o then_o twelue_v year_n old_a and_o as_o soon_o as_o i_o begin_v to_o understand_v how_o great_a a_o loss_n i_o have_v sustain_v by_o lose_v she_o i_o be_v very_o much_o afflict_v and_o so_o i_o go_v besore_n a_o image_n of_o our_o bless_a lady_n and_o i_o humble_o beseech_v she_o with_o many_o tear_n that_o she_o will_v vouchsafe_v to_o be_v my_o mother_n and_o though_o i_o perform_v this_o little_a action_n but_o in_o a_o plain_a and_o simple_a manner_n yet_o i_o think_v i_o may_v well_o conceive_v that_o it_o have_v serve_v i_o to_o very_o good_a purpose_n for_o i_o have_v most_o evident_o find_v the_o favour_n of_o this_o sovereign_a virgin_n concern_v all_o thing_n wherein_o i_o have_v recommend_v myself_o to_o her_o care_n and_o in_o fine_a she_o have_v bring_v i_o about_o to_o herself_o it_o afflict_v i_o to_o the_o very_a hart_n to_o see_v and_o consider_v how_o poor_a those_o impediment_n be_v which_o keep_v i_o from_o remain_v entire_a and_o constant_a in_o those_o good_a desire_n which_o i_o begin_v to_o have_v but_o o_o my_o dear_a lord_n since_o it_o seem_v thou_o will_v vouchsafe_v to_o save_v i_o and_o i_o beseech_v thy_o divine_a majesty_n that_o it_o my_o be_v so_o and_o to_o show_v i_o so_o great_a favour_n as_o thou_o have_v do_v i_o may_v it_o not_o please_v thou_o not_o for_o my_o interest_n and_o profit_n but_o for_o that_o high_a reverence_n which_o be_v due_a to_o thyself_o to_o take_v order_n that_o this_o house_n of_o my_o hart_n wherein_o thou_o shall_v for_o ever_o remain_v may_v be_v no_o more_o defile_v nay_o it_o go_v o_o lord_n to_o my_o very_a soul_n even_o to_o say_v thus_o much_o because_o i_o know_v and_o feel_v that_o the_o fault_n thereof_o be_v whole_o i_o for_o as_o for_o thou_o i_o find_v clear_o enough_o that_o there_o want_v nothing_o at_o all_o on_o thy_o part_n to_o secure_v i_o for_o be_v total_o thou_o own_o even_o from_o that_o tender_a age_n of_o i_o and_o if_o i_o will_v be_v content_a to_o seek_v some_o colour_n to_o complain_v of_o my_o parent_n with_o as_o little_a reason_n also_o can_v i_o do_v that_o since_o i_o can_v never_o discover_v any_o thing_n in_o
be_v able_a to_o suffer_v the_o difficulty_n and_o trouble_n of_o a_o religious_a life_n because_o former_o i_o have_v be_v use_v so_o delicate_o and_o be_v so_o nice_a but_o yet_o against_o this_o also_o i_o defend_v myself_o as_o well_o as_o i_o can_v by_o the_o affliction_n which_o christ_n our_o lord_n endure_v for_o i_o and_o that_o so_o it_o will_v not_o be_v much_o for_o i_o to_o endure_v some_o for_o he_o i_o ought_v also_o to_o have_v consider_v that_o he_o will_v give_v i_o help_v to_o bear_v they_o yet_o i_o remember_v not_o whether_o i_o have_v this_o last_o consideration_n or_o no_o but_o i_o be_o sure_a i_o have_v temptation_n enough_o about_o that_o time_n i_o then_o also_o grow_v to_o have_v great_a fit_n of_o faint_a by_o a_o burn_a fever_n into_o which_o i_o fall_v for_o i_o always_o have_v little_a health_n but_o it_o give_v i_o even_o my_o life_n at_o that_o time_n that_o already_o i_o be_v grow_v to_o love_v good_a book_n and_o so_o i_o come_v to_o read_v the_o epistle_n of_o s._n jerome_n which_o help_v i_o to_o such_o hart_n and_o courage_n as_o to_o make_v i_o resolve_v that_o i_o will_v impart_v my_o purpose_n to_o my_o father_n which_o in_o effect_n be_v even_o as_o much_o for_o i_o as_o to_o take_v the_o very_a habit_n upon_o i_o for_o i_o be_v ever_o so_o affect_v to_o maintain_v the_o point_n of_o honour_n that_o i_o think_v i_o can_v never_o have_v turn_v back_o again_o upon_o any_o term_n when_o i_o have_v first_o engage_v myself_o by_o speak_v any_o one_o word_n to_o the_o contrary_n but_o he_o love_v i_o to_o so_o strange_a a_o proportion_n that_o by_o no_o mean_n i_o can_v win_v his_o consent_n nor_o be_v the_o intercession_n of_o such_o person_n as_o i_o procure_v to_o move_v he_o in_o order_n to_o my_o end_n of_o any_o power_n at_o all_o to_o prevail_v the_o most_o that_o i_o can_v get_v at_o his_o hand_n be_v that_o when_o he_o shall_v be_v dead_a i_o may_v do_v what_o i_o list_v with_o myself_o but_o as_o for_o i_o i_o be_v 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have_v be_v disjoint_v from_o all_o the_o rest_n and_o there_o be_v no_o such_o love_n of_o god_n in_o i_o at_o that_o time_n as_o be_v able_a to_o quench_v that_o love_n which_o my_o hart_n carry_v to_o my_o father_n and_o friend_n all_o that_o which_o then_o i_o do_v be_v with_o so_o mighty_a a_o violence_n that_o if_o god_n have_v not_o give_v i_o great_a help_n i_o own_o consideration_n will_v never_o have_v beme_fw-mi able_a to_o carry_v i_o on_o but_o here_o he_o allow_v i_o such_o courage_n even_o against_o myself_o that_o i_o have_v power_n to_o put_v my_o purpose_n in_o execution_n at_o the_o instant_n of_o my_o take_v the_o habit_n our_o lord_n give_v i_o well_o to_o understand_v how_o high_o he_o favour_v they_o who_o offer_v themselves_o violence_n for_o the_o do_v he_o any_o service_n though_o yet_o no_o body_n have_v find_v by_o i_o but_o that_o i_o enter_v into_o the_o way_n of_o religious_a observance_n with_o much_o facility_n and_o good_a like_n but_o at_o that_o very_a instant_n i_o take_v so_o great_a contentment_n to_o put_v myself_o into_o that_o manner_n of_o life_n as_o have_v never_o fail_v i_o once_o till_o this_o very_a hour_n and_o god_n change_v that_o dryness_n wherein_o my_o soul_n have_v former_o be_v into_o a_o extreme_a tenderness_n and_o all_o the_o observance_n of_o religion_n give_v i_o great_a delight_n yea_o and_o it_o be_v a_o most_o certain_a truth_n that_o while_o i_o be_v sometime_o go_v up_o and_o down_o to_o sweep_v the_o house_n at_o such_o hour_n as_o before_o i_o have_v be_v wont_a to_o employ_v upon_o the_o gallanterie_n and_o regalo_n of_o my_o person_n and_o go_v consider_v that_o now_o i_o be_v free_a from_o that_o subjection_n it_o give_v i_o a_o particular_a joy_n and_o that_o so_o very_o great_a that_o it_o amaze_v i_o nor_o be_v it_o in_o my_o power_n to_o understand_v from_o whence_o the_o same_o shall_v come_v when_o i_o remember_v and_o consider_v this_o there_o can_v be_v nothing_o how_o grievous_a soever_o upon_o which_o if_o it_o be_v set_v before_o i_o i_o shall_v not_o have_v venture_v to_o attempt_v for_o i_o have_v already_o good_a experience_n of_o thing_n enough_o to_o assure_v i_o that_o since_o god_n do_v help_v i_o in_o the_o beginning_n to_o resolve_v to_o do_v such_o thing_n as_o these_o which_o be_v only_o do_v for_o the_o love_n of_o god_n he_o ordain_v for_o our_o great_a merit_n afterward_o that_o our_o soul_n shall_v be_v in_o some_o trouble_n and_o terror_n at_o the_o first_o and_o the_o great_a that_o trouble_n be_v the_o great_a and_o the_o more_o savoury_a also_o will_v the_o reward_n thereof_o fall_v out_o to_o be_v if_o we_o go_v through_o with_o the_o business_n his_o majesty_n will_v also_o be_v please_v to_o recompense_v they_o high_o well_o even_o in_o this_o life_n by_o such_o way_n as_o he_o only_o who_o enjoy_v they_o can_v understand_v this_o i_o say_v i_o have_v find_v true_a by_o experience_n in_o many_o particular_n of_o great_a moment_n and_o therefore_o if_o i_o be_v a_o person_n who_o may_v be_v wish_v to_o give_v my_o opinion_n i_o will_v never_o advise_v any_o creature_n that_o when_o any_o good_a inspiration_n do_v often_o move_v and_o set_v upon_o a_o soul_n it_o shall_v give_v it_o over_o for_o fear_n of_o not_o perform_v the_o work_n for_o if_o one_o go_v on_o mere_o and_o pure_o for_o the_o only_o love_n of_o our_o lord_n there_o must_v be_v no_o fear_n at_o all_o of_o good_a success_n since_o the_o same_o lord_n be_v powerful_a enough_o to_o prevail_v in_o all_o thing_n and_o let_v he_o be_v ever_o bless_v amen_n these_o favour_n which_o thou_o have_v hitherto_o bestow_v upon_o i_o out_o of_o thy_o own_o mere_a goodness_n and_o greatness_n may_v well_o have_v be_v sufficient_a o_o thou_o my_o sovereign_a good_a and_o repose_v of_o my_o soul_n to_o draw_v i_o towards_o thou_o by_o so_o many_o wind_n and_o turn_n to_o so_o safe_a a_o way_n of_o life_n and_o to_o a_o house_n where_o there_o be_v so_o many_o servant_n of_o thou_o of_o who_o i_o may_v learn_v to_o grow_v up_o in_o please_v thou_o but_o here_o i_o know_v not_o how_o i_o can_v pass_v on_o to_o think_v of_o any_o thing_n else_o when_o i_o consider_v the_o manner_n of_o my_o profession_n and_o the_o great_a resolution_n and_o gust_n wherewith_o i_o make_v it_o and_o the_o espousal_n which_o i_o perfect_v with_o thou_o for_o i_o can_v speak_v of_o this_o without_o tear_n which_o be_v to_o be_v even_o of_o blood_n and_o not_o without_o the_o break_n of_o my_o very_a hart_n which_o
commit_v many_o offence_n against_o thy_o divine_a majesty_n even_o without_o my_o understanding_n it_o and_o it_o also_o seem_v to_o i_o that_o there_o can_v not_o so_o hard_a a_o thing_n be_v set_v before_o i_o which_o i_o will_v not_o execute_v for_o love_n of_o thou_o with_o great_a resolution_n and_o sometime_o thou_o have_v so_o assist_v i_o therein_o as_o that_o such_o thing_n have_v take_v effect_n and_o for_o my_o part_n i_o care_v not_o a_o whitt_n for_o the_o whole_a world_n no_o nor_o for_o any_o creature_n which_o be_v in_o it_o nor_o can_v i_o find_v that_o any_o thing_n at_o all_o give_v i_o gust_n which_o swerve_v from_o thou_o and_o every_o thing_n which_o be_v not_o thou_o seem_v no_o less_o than_o a_o very_a heavy_a cross_n to_o my_o hart_n yet_o i_o may_v easy_o deceive_v myself_o herein_o and_o so_o i_o think_v i_o do_v for_o i_o doubt_v that_o i_o possess_v not_o all_o this_o whereof_o i_o speak_v but_o yet_o thou_o see_v well_o o_o my_o lord_n forasmuch_o as_o i_o be_o able_a to_o understand_v that_o i_o do_v not_o lie_v and_o i_o be_o fear_v and_o that_o with_o very_a much_o reason_n that_o perhaps_o thou_o may_v yet_o leave_v i_o once_o again_o for_o i_o be_o not_o now_o to_o be_v tell_v how_o short_a a_o way_n i_o own_o strength_n be_v able_a to_o carry_v and_o conduct_v i_o and_o how_o little_a virtue_n i_o have_v in_o case_n thou_o be_v not_o ever_o at_o hand_n to_o allow_v i_o thy_o benediction_n and_o succour_n to_o the_o end_n that_o so_o i_o may_v never_o forsake_v thou_o yea_o and_o i_o beseech_v thy_o divine_a majesty_n that_o even_o now_o i_o be_v not_o already_o forsake_v by_o thou_o whilst_o yet_o i_o be_o think_v thus_o of_o myself_o for_o my_o part_n i_o know_v not_o how_o we_o can_v desire_v to_o live_v since_o all_o thing_n be_v so_o uncertain_a here_o it_o seem_v to_o i_o o_o my_o lord_n to_o be_v already_o even_o a_o impossible_a thing_n that_o i_o shall_v so_o entire_o forsake_v thou_o but_o since_o i_o have_v forsake_v thou_o so_o often_o i_o can_v but_o fear_v the_o like_a again_o because_o when_o thou_o have_v retire_v thyself_o never_o so_o little_a from_o i_o all_o fall_v instant_o down_o to_o the_o ground_n bless_a be_v thou_o for_o ever_o o_o lord_n for_o howsoever_o i_o forsake_v thou_o thou_o will_v not_o yet_o so_o entire_o forsake_v i_o but_o that_o still_o thou_o give_v i_o thy_o hand_n that_o so_o i_o may_v be_v able_a to_o rise_v again_o though_o many_o time_n o_o lord_n i_o will_v not_o take_v hold_n by_o it_o nor_o will_v i_o understand_v how_o thou_o vouchsafe_v to_o call_v i_o again_o very_o often_o as_o i_o will_v now_o declare_v the_o seven_o chapter_n she_o show_v by_o what_o degree_n and_o mean_n she_o go_v lose_v the_o favour_n which_o our_o lord_n have_v do_v she_o and_o how_o ill_o she_o begin_v to_o live_v and_o she_o also_o declare_v the_o harm_n there_o be_v in_o not_o maintain_v clausure_n in_o the_o monastery_n of_o religious_a woman_n i_o begin_v from_o one_o pastime_n to_o another_o from_o one_o vanity_n to_o another_o and_o from_o one_o occasion_n to_o another_o to_o cast_v myself_o deep_o into_o very_o great_a occasion_n and_o to_o carry_v my_o soul_n so_o disorder_v upon_o many_o absurdity_n that_o already_o i_o grow_v even_o ashamed_a to_o approach_v towards_o god_n with_o so_o particular_a a_o kind_n of_o friendship_n and_o familiarity_n as_o frequent_a prayer_n require_v and_o i_o be_v forward_v in_o that_o ill_a way_n by_o this_o that_o as_o my_o sin_n grow_v to_o be_v increase_n the_o gust_n which_o i_o have_v take_v and_o the_o regalo_n which_o i_o have_v receive_v from_o the_o exercise_n of_o virtue_n begin_v to_o fail_v i_o i_o perceive_v very_o clear_o o_o my_o lord_n that_o these_o good_a thing_n be_v want_v to_o i_o now_o because_o i_o have_v first_fw-mi beme_fw-mi want_a to_o thou_o but_o yet_o this_o be_v in_o the_o mean_a time_n the_o most_o terrible_a cozen_a kind_n of_o wrong_n which_o the_o devil_n can_v possible_o put_v upon_o i_o when_o he_o make_v i_o begin_v to_o fear_v to_o make_v prayer_n because_o forsooth_o i_o see_v myself_o so_o destroy_v and_o i_o think_v it_o be_v better_a for_o i_o to_o proceed_v as_o the_o multitude_n do_v since_o i_o be_v among_o the_o worst_a of_o they_o who_o be_v wicked_a and_o to_o pray_v but_o as_o much_o as_o i_o be_v bind_v and_o that_o but_o vocal_o and_o that_o a_o person_n who_o deserve_v to_o be_v with_o the_o devil_n be_v not_o to_o use_v mental_a prayer_n and_o to_o hold_v so_o straight_a commerce_n with_o almighty_a god_n and_o that_o if_o i_o do_v i_o shall_v but_o seek_v to_o deceive_v the_o world_n because_o exterior_o i_o make_v show_v of_o virtue_n yet_o in_o the_o mean_a time_n upon_o this_o reason_n the_o house_n wherein_o i_o live_v do_v deserve_v no_o blame_n at_o all_o because_o i_o procure_v with_o so_o much_o cunning_n and_o craft_n all_o that_o while_n that_o they_o shall_v have_v i_o in_o good_a opinion_n neither_o do_v i_o all_o this_o of_o set_a purpose_n by_o counterfeit_n a_o better_a soul_n than_o i_o have_v for_o touch_v this_o point_n of_o hypocrisy_n and_o vainglory_n i_o humble_o thank_v almighty_a god_n that_o i_o remember_v not_o myself_o to_o have_v offend_v he_o therein_o for_o aught_o i_o can_v perceive_v for_o upon_o the_o very_a first_o approach_n of_o motion_n to_o commit_v that_o kind_n of_o sin_n i_o ever_o receive_v and_o feel_v so_o much_o trouble_v that_o the_o devil_n be_v wont_a to_o go_v away_o with_o loss_n and_o i_o remain_v with_o gain_n and_o therefore_o he_o will_v never_o tempt_v i_o much_o in_o this_o kind_n though_o yet_o perhaps_o if_o god_n have_v permit_v he_o to_o endeavour_v it_o as_o strong_o in_o this_o as_o he_o do_v in_o some_o other_o thing_n i_o shall_v also_o have_v fall_v into_o this_o sin_n but_o his_o divine_a majesty_n have_v be_v please_v hitherto_o to_o preserve_v i_o herein_o for_o which_o let_v he_o be_v eternal_o praise_v nay_o rather_o it_o trouble_v i_o much_o that_o they_o shall_v hold_v i_o in_o good_a opinion_n consider_v what_o i_o know_v in_o private_a of_o myself_o the_o true_a reason_n of_o their_o believe_v i_o not_o to_o be_v so_o wicked_a proceed_v from_o this_o that_o they_o see_v i_o be_v so_o young_a to_o retire_v myself_o many_o time_n and_o upon_o several_a occasion_n to_o solitude_n and_o to_o pray_v and_o read_v much_o and_o talk_v of_o god_n that_o i_o love_v to_o make_v the_o picture_n of_o our_o bless_a saviour_n be_v set_v up_o in_o many_o place_n and_o to_o have_v a_o oratory_n and_o to_o procure_v to_o put_v such_o thing_n there_o as_o may_v cause_v devotion_n and_o not_o to_o speak_v ill_a of_o any_o and_o other_o thing_n also_o of_o this_o nature_n which_o carry_v a_o kind_n of_o appearance_n of_o virtue_n with_o they_o and_o i_o know_v well_o enough_o so_o vain_a i_o be_v how_o to_o win_v esteem_n for_o myself_o by_o those_o thing_n which_o the_o world_n be_v wont_n to_o prize_n upon_o these_o observation_n of_o they_o they_o allow_v i_o as_o much_o yea_o and_o more_o liberty_n then_o to_o the_o more_o ancient_a religious_a woman_n of_o the_o house_n and_o they_o be_v confident_a of_o i_o in_o all_o thing_n for_o as_o for_o my_o take_a liberty_n to_o myself_o or_o to_o do_v any_o thing_n at_o all_o without_o leave_n yea_o or_o to_o speak_v with_o any_o body_n in_o corner_n or_o hole_n or_o by_o night_n i_o think_v i_o can_v never_o have_v resolve_v myself_o even_o so_o much_o as_o to_o talk_v of_o any_o such_o thing_n as_o this_o in_o a_o monastery_n neither_o do_v i_o ever_o so_o because_o our_o lord_n hold_v i_o up_o in_o his_o hand_n for_o it_o seem_v to_o i_o who_o reflect_v much_o and_o with_o much_o attention_n upon_o many_o thing_n that_o to_o put_v the_o honour_n of_o so_o many_o religious_a woman_n in_o hazard_n whilst_o they_o be_v good_a because_o i_o be_v wicked_a have_v be_v a_o very_a unworthy_a part_n in_o i_o as_o yet_o perhaps_o i_o shall_v have_v do_v by_o make_v stranger_n think_v that_o they_o use_v also_o to_o do_v the_o like_a but_o why_o do_v i_o speak_v of_o my_o avoid_n to_o do_v ill_a thing_n as_o if_o any_o thing_n which_o i_o do_v have_v be_v well_o do_v though_o yet_o the_o truth_n be_v withal_o that_o the_o evil_n which_o i_o do_v be_v not_o perform_v by_o i_o with_o so_o much_o reflection_n and_o advertence_n as_o this_o will_v have_v require_v though_o yet_o it_o be_v with_o too_o much_o for_o this_o reason_n i_o be_o of_o opinion_n that_o it_o bring_v i_o hurt_v enough_o that_o i_o be_v in_o a_o monastery_n not_o enclose_v
sometime_o not_o so_o soon_o and_o since_o of_o late_a i_o be_o grow_v able_a to_o receive_v the_o b._n sacrament_n more_o often_o it_o proceed_v from_o this_o that_o these_o vomit_v come_v to_o i_o at_o night_n before_o i_o go_v to_o bed_n and_o they_o put_v i_o to_o much_o more_o pain_n and_o then_o i_o must_v procure_v to_o hasten_v and_o facilitate_v they_o by_o the_o use_n of_o feather_n and_o such_o other_o thing_n because_o if_o i_o have_v not_o those_o vomit_n the_o sickness_n which_o i_o feel_v be_v extreme_a but_o indeed_o i_o be_o i_o think_v almost_o never_o without_o many_o kind_n of_o pain_n and_o sometime_o they_o be_v very_o sharp_a one_o and_o especial_o at_o my_o very_a hart_n though_o yet_o withal_o it_o be_v also_o true_a that_o the_o cruel_a palsy_n and_o other_o infirmity_n of_o fever_n which_o be_v wont_a to_o come_v very_o thick_a upon_o i_o be_v now_o find_v to_o oppress_v i_o more_o seldom_o so_o that_o many_o time_n i_o be_o well_o in_o those_o respect_n and_o i_o have_v make_v so_o little_a account_n of_o these_o misery_n for_o these_o eight_o year_n together_o that_o sometime_o i_o be_o even_o glad_a i_o have_v they_o as_o conceave_a that_o our_o lord_n may_v be_v peradventure_o serve_v in_o some_o sort_n thereby_o this_o be_v my_o discourse_n and_o now_o my_o father_n believe_v that_o this_o which_o i_o tell_v he_o here_o be_v indeed_o the_o true_a cause_n of_o my_o omission_n for_o himself_o never_o use_v to_o lie_v and_o consider_v in_o what_o sort_n and_o of_o what_o matter_n i_o be_v then_o discourse_v to_o he_o he_o have_v no_o reason_n to_o think_v but_o that_o i_o say_v true_a and_o to_o the_o end_n that_o he_o may_v believe_v i_o the_o better_a i_o tell_v he_o also_o then_o that_o i_o well_o see_v myself_o not_o to_o be_v without_o some_o fault_n and_o that_o i_o have_v enough_o to_o do_v to_o be_v able_a to_o assist_v in_o the_o choir_n though_o yet_o in_o very_a deed_n even_o this_o reason_n of_o corporal_a sickness_n be_v no_o sufficient_a cause_n to_o make_v i_o give_v any_o good_a thing_n over_o for_o there_o be_v no_o need_n of_o corporal_a strength_n for_o such_o thing_n as_o these_o but_o only_o of_o love_n and_o custom_n since_o our_o lord_n afford_v we_o always_o opportunity_n if_o we_o will_v ourselves_o i_o say_v always_o because_o though_o infirmity_n and_o other_o occasion_n my_o hinder_v one_o sometime_o from_o spend_v many_o hour_n in_o solitude_n yet_o there_o will_v not_o want_v some_o other_o time_n wherein_o we_o may_v have_v health_n enough_o for_o this_o business_n yea_o and_o even_o in_o other_o occasion_n as_o also_o in_o the_o midst_n of_o sickness_n itself_o the_o true_a prayer_n may_v be_v make_v since_o it_o be_v the_o soul_n which_o love_v by_o offer_v up_o that_o pain_n to_o almighty_a god_n and_o in_o remember_v for_o who_o it_o be_v endure_v and_o in_o conform_v one_o self_n to_o god_n holy_a will_n therein_o and_o in_o a_o thousand_o such_o other_o thing_n as_o will_v occur_v and_o thus_o may_v one_o exercise_v love_n for_o there_o be_v no_o necessity_n at_o all_o for_o a_o person_n either_o to_o be_v in_o solitude_n or_o else_o that_o there_o must_v be_v no_o mental_a prayer_n at_o all_o if_o we_o will_v take_v a_o little_a care_n we_o may_v arrive_v to_o obtain_v great_a blessing_n at_o those_o time_n when_o our_o lord_n even_o take_v time_n for_o prayer_n from_o we_o by_o mean_n of_o our_o sickness_n and_o pain_n and_o myself_o have_v find_v this_o to_o be_v true_a as_o long_o as_o my_o conscience_n be_v pure_a and_o good_a but_o my_o father_n through_o the_o opinion_n which_o he_o hold_v of_o i_o and_o the_o love_n he_o bear_v i_o believe_v all_o that_o i_o have_v say_v or_o rather_o he_o not_o only_o believe_v but_o have_v also_o pity_n of_o i_o though_o yet_o be_v then_o grow_v to_o find_v himself_o in_o so_o eminent_a and_o high_a a_o state_n of_o spiritual_a life_n he_o remain_v not_o with_o i_o very_o long_o and_o therefore_o have_v visit_v i_o he_o return_v home_o as_o hold_v his_o stay_n there_o to_o be_v loss_n of_o time_n and_o i_o who_o be_v willing_a to_o spend_v it_o upon_o other_o vanity_n be_v not_o trouble_v very_o much_o at_o his_o departure_n it_o be_v not_o only_o with_o he_o but_o with_o other_o person_n also_o who_o i_o procure_v that_o they_o shall_v addict_v themselves_o to_o mental_a prayer_n even_o whilst_o i_o be_v walk_v on_o in_o those_o vanity_n for_o still_o as_o i_o find_v they_o apt_a to_o use_v vocal_a prayer_n i_o tell_v they_o how_o they_o shall_v grow_v to_o have_v the_o use_n of_o meditation_n and_o i_o do_v they_o good_a and_o give_v they_o book_n for_o i_o have_v still_o a_o good_a desire_n that_o other_o shall_v serve_v almighty_a god_n even_o from_o the_o very_a first_o time_n that_o i_o use_v mental_a prayer_n as_o i_o have_v relate_v here_o it_o seem_v to_o i_o that_o since_o now_o i_o serve_v not_o our_o lord_n myself_o so_o well_o as_o i_o shall_v yet_o i_o like_v not_o that_o that_o 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and_o trouble_v in_o his_o sickness_n and_o i_o think_v i_o also_o make_v he_o some_o part_n of_o poor_a amends_o for_o the_o pain_n which_o he_o have_v take_v with_o i_o in_o i_o for_o now_o be_v ill_a enough_o in_o myself_o i_o yet_o strain_v very_o hard_o to_o do_v he_o service_n and_o beside_o i_o well_o consider_v that_o by_o the_o only_o loss_n of_o he_o all_o my_o comfort_n and_o regalo_n be_v to_o be_v lose_v for_o it_o all_o be_v shut_v up_o in_o only_o he_o i_o animate_v myself_o also_o so_o much_o towards_z the_o not_o show_v he_o that_o i_o be_v in_o any_o pain_n and_o in_o continue_v so_o even_o till_o he_o expire_v as_o if_o i_o have_v feel_v no_o trouble_n at_o all_o though_o yet_o it_o be_v very_o true_a that_o when_o i_o see_v he_o come_v to_o be_v upon_o the_o very_a point_n to_o loose_v his_o life_n it_o seem_v to_o i_o as_o if_o my_o own_o very_a soul_n have_v then_o be_v tear_v out_o of_o my_o body_n for_o i_o love_v he_o much_o it_o be_v a_o thing_n to_o make_v our_o lord_n be_v high_o praise_v to_o see_v the_o death_n which_o my_o father_n die_v together_o with_o the_o desire_n which_o he_o also_o have_v to_o die_v and_o the_o counsel_n which_o he_o give_v we_o after_o he_o have_v receive_v extreme_a unction_n and_o how_o he_o charge_v we_o to_o recommend_v he_o to_o god_n and_o that_o we_o shall_v beg_v mercy_n of_o he_o for_o his_o soul_n and_o that_o we_o must_v serve_v he_o ever_o and_o consider_v that_o all_o this_o world_n must_v come_v to_o end_v with_o tear_n he_o also_o tell_v we_o how_o sad_a he_o be_v at_o the_o hart_n for_o not_o have_v serve_v his_o divine_a majesty_n better_o that_o he_o wish_v he_o be_v some_o religious_a man_n i_o mean_v that_o he_o have_v be_v so_o and_o that_o of_o the_o most_o strict_a who_o be_v in_o the_o world_n and_o i_o hold_v it_o for_o very_o certain_a that_o some_o fifteen_o day_n before_o our_o lord_n give_v he_o to_o understand_v that_o he_o be_v not_o to_o live_v because_o before_o that_o very_a time_n he_o do_v not_o think_v he_o be_v sick_a though_o yet_o he_o be_v so_o in_o good_a earnest_n but_o afterward_o though_o he_o seem_v to_o mend_v much_o in_o point_n of_o health_n and_o though_o the_o doctor_n bid_v he_o believe_v that_o there_o be_v no_o danger_n at_o all_o yet_o he_o make_v no_o account_n of_o that_o but_o only_o attend_v to_o put_v his_o soul_n in_o good_a order_n that_o sickness_n of_o he_o begin_v with_o a_o very_a grievous_a pain_n round_o about_o his_o shoulder_n which_o never_o leave_v he_o and_o sometime_o it_o press_v he_o
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world_n that_o still_o i_o shall_v have_v the_o courage_n to_o give_v myself_o to_o prayer_n i_o say_v courage_n for_o as_o for_o i_o i_o see_v not_o what_o one_o thing_n there_o be_v of_o so_o many_o as_o be_v to_o be_v find_v in_o the_o whole_a world_n wherein_o there_o be_v need_n of_o a_o great_a then_o to_o treat_v of_o commit_v treason_n against_o a_o king_n and_o to_o know_v that_o he_o know_v it_o well_o and_o yet_o never_o to_o go_v out_o of_o his_o presence_n for_o howsoever_o it_o be_v very_o true_a that_o we_o be_v always_o in_o the_o presence_n of_o almighty_a god_n yet_o i_o think_v that_o they_o who_o converse_n with_o he_o in_o prayer_n be_v in_o his_o presence_n after_o a_o more_o particular_a manner_n for_o they_o be_v see_v then_o that_o he_o see_v they_o whereas_o other_o may_v perhaps_o remain_v some_o day_n in_o his_o presence_n and_o yet_o without_o remember_v that_o he_o look_v upon_o they_o true_a it_o be_v that_o within_o that_o time_n there_o be_v i_o believe_v many_o month_n and_o sometime_o peradventure_o a_o whole_a year_n that_o i_o keep_v myself_o from_o offend_v our_o lord_n and_o give_v myself_o much_o to_o mental_a prayer_n and_o i_o also_o use_v some_o yea_o and_o many_o diligence_n that_o i_o may_v never_o grow_v more_o to_o offend_v he_o and_o because_o all_o that_o which_o i_o write_v now_o be_v to_o be_v deliver_v with_o entirenes_n of_o truth_n i_o declare_v myself_o here_o as_o you_o see_v but_o i_o remember_v little_a of_o those_o good_a day_n and_o therefore_o it_o may_v be_v think_v they_o be_v few_o and_o the_o ill_a one_o many_o yet_o few_o of_o those_o few_o pass_v away_o without_o my_o allow_v a_o good_a long_a time_n for_o prayer_n unless_o i_o be_v either_o very_o sick_a or_o extreme_o busy_a the_o worse_a i_o be_v in_o my_o health_n the_o more_o i_o be_v unite_v with_o god_n and_o i_o procure_v that_o such_o person_n as_o use_v to_o be_v with_o i_o at_o those_o time_n may_v be_v so_o too_o and_o i_o beg_v 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man_n have_v write_v of_o the_o benefit_n which_o he_o obtain_v who_o exercise_v himself_o in_o prayer_n i_o mean_v mental_a prayer_n and_o glory_n be_v to_o almighty_a god_n for_o be_v the_o cause_n thereof_o and_o yet_o if_o that_o be_v not_o true_a though_o i_o have_v little_a humility_n yet_o be_o i_o not_o withal_o so_o insolent_a as_o that_o i_o will_v presume_v to_o speak_v upon_o this_o subject_n but_o of_o that_o whereof_o i_o have_v some_o experience_n i_o may_v vet_n presume_v to_o say_v somewhat_o and_o it_o be_v this_o that_o whosoever_o have_v begin_v to_o frequent_v the_o use_n of_o prayer_n i_o wish_v he_o not_o to_o give_v it_o over_o whatsoever_o sin_n he_o commit_v in_o the_o mean_a time_n since_o this_o be_v the_o mean_n by_o which_o he_o may_v recover_v himself_o again_o which_o he_o will_v find_v to_o be_v of_o much_o more_o difficulty_n without_o it_o and_o let_v not_o the_o devil_n tempt_v he_o to_o leave_v it_o as_o he_o do_v i_o upon_o a_o pretence_n of_o humility_n but_o let_v he_o firm_o believe_v that_o his_o word_n can_v never_o want_v truth_n who_o say_v that_o if_o we_o will_v repent_v ourselves_o in_o good_a earnest_n and_o resolve_v to_o offend_v the_o divine_a majesty_n no_o more_o he_o restore_v we_o to_o the_o same_o friendship_n which_o we_o have_v before_o with_o he_o and_o do_v we_o the_o same_o favour_n which_o he_o do_v we_o before_o and_o sometime_o they_o prove_v to_o be_v much_o great_a if_o the_o repentance_n deserve_v it_o and_o whosoever_o have_v not_o yet_o begin_v this_o exercise_n i_o beseech_v he_o for_o the_o love_n of_o our_o lord_n that_o he_o will_v no_o long_o deprive_v himself_o of_o so_o great_a a_o benefit_n there_o be_v nothing_o to_o be_v fear_v here_o but_o much_o to_o be_v desire_v for_o though_o a_o man_n shall_v not_o proceed_v so_o far_o as_o to_o strive_v to_o gain_v such_o perfection_n as_o may_v prepare_v and_o as_o it_o be_v deserve_v those_o gust_n and_o regalo_n which_o god_n be_v wont_a to_o give_v to_o such_o person_n yet_o the_o least_o which_o he_o shall_v get_v will_v be_v that_o he_o shall_v be_v go_v on_o in_o the_o way_n to_o heaven_n and_o i_o know_v so_o much_o of_o the_o mercy_n of_o almighty_a god_n that_o i_o may_v conclude_v for_o certain_a enough_o that_o no_o body_n ever_o take_v he_o for_o a_o friend_n who_o he_o do_v not_o well_o requite_v for_o his_o pain_n for_o mental_a prayer_n be_v no_o other_o thing_n in_o my_o opinion_n than_o a_o treaty_n about_o make_v friendship_n with_o almighty_a god_n and_o a_o frequent_a and_o private_a commerce_n hand_n to_o hand_n with_o he_o by_o
what_o i_o be_v before_o and_o this_o do_v i_o entreat_v your_o reverence_n that_o you_o will_v beg_v of_o our_o b._n lord_n for_o i_o since_o you_o know_v with_o more_o clearness_n what_o i_o be_o than_o here_o you_o have_v give_v i_o leave_v to_o express_v the_o eleaventh_n chapter_n she_o declare_v in_o what_o the_o fault_n consist_v of_o not_o obtain_v to_o love_n god_n with_o perfection_n in_o short_a time_n she_o begin_v to_o deliver_v it_o by_o a_o comparison_n which_o contain_v four_o degree_n of_o prayer_n and_o she_o treat_v here_o of_o the_o first_o which_o be_v very_o profitable_a for_o beginner_n and_o for_o they_o also_o who_o have_v no_o sensible_a delight_n or_o gust_n in_o prayer_n now_o to_o speak_v of_o they_o who_o begin_v to_o be_v servant_n of_o our_o bless_a lord_n for_o love_n and_o to_o i_o it_o seem_v to_o be_v nothing_o else_o to_o resolve_v to_o follow_v he_o by_o this_o way_n of_o prayer_n who_o love_v we_o so_o much_o i_o find_v it_o to_o be_v a_o thing_n of_o so_o great_a dignity_n that_o i_o regale_n myself_o after_o a_o strange_a manner_n even_o by_o the_o very_a thought_n thereof_o for_o servile_a fear_n will_v instant_o fly_v away_o if_o we_o carry_v ourselves_o as_o we_o ought_v in_o this_o first_o degree_n of_o prayer_n o_o thou_o lord_n of_o my_o soul_n and_o my_o eternal_a good_a how_o come_v it_o to_o pass_v that_o when_o a_o soul_n resolve_v to_o love_v thou_o and_o to_o do_v the_o uttermost_a she_o can_v to_o leave_v all_o this_o world_n that_o so_o she_o may_v the_o better_o employ_v herself_o upon_o this_o love_n of_o thou_o thou_o be_v not_o please_v that_o she_o shall_v instant_o enjoy_v the_o get_n up_o to_o possess_v this_o perfect_a love_n but_o i_o have_v say_v ill_o for_o i_o ought_v indeed_o to_o have_v say_v that_o i_o complain_v against_o ourselves_o because_o it_o be_v we_o who_o will_v not_o possess_v it_o since_o all_o the_o fault_n be_v we_o for_o not_o instant_o obtain_v this_o true_a love_n of_o god_n with_o perfection_n which_o carry_v all_o kind_n of_o blessing_n in_o company_n thereof_o for_o the_o matter_n be_v that_o we_o set_v so_o high_a a_o price_n upon_o ourselves_o and_o we_o be_v withal_o so_o slow_a in_o give_v our_o heart_n impediment_n total_o to_o god_n that_o as_o his_o divine_a majesty_n on_o the_o one_o side_n will_v not_o permit_v that_o we_o shall_v enjoy_v so_o precious_a a_o thing_n without_o pay_v well_o for_o it_o so_o on_o the_o other_o we_o never_o make_v a_o end_n of_o dispose_v ourselves_o therein_o as_o we_o ought_v i_o be_o able_a to_o see_v well_o enough_o that_o there_o be_v nothing_o at_o all_o in_o this_o world_n with_o which_o so_o great_a a_o treasure_n can_v be_v buy_v but_o yet_o if_o we_o do_v indeed_o what_o we_o can_v by_o not_o fasten_v ourselves_o to_o any_o thing_n of_o this_o world_n but_o that_o all_o our_o care_n and_o consideration_n be_v sent-up_a to_o heaven_n i_o be_o confident_a that_o this_o blessing_n will_v be_v impart_v to_o 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but_o by_o drop_n and_o drop_n and_o though_o it_o shall_v grow_v to_o cost_v we_o all_o the_o labour_n and_o trouble_n of_o the_o whole_a world_n a_o very_a great_a deal_n of_o mercy_n do_v our_o bless_a lord_n show_v to_o that_o person_n to_o who_o he_o give_v the_o firm_a purpose_n and_o grace_n to_o resolve_v upon_o procure_v this_o blessing_n with_o all_o his_o power_n for_o certain_o if_o such_o a_o one_o shall_v persevere_v almighty_a god_n will_v deny_v himself_o to_o no_o creature_n but_o will_v by_o little_a and_o little_a go_v enable_v that_o soul_n in_o such_o sort_n as_o that_o at_o length_n it_o shall_v find_v itself_o to_o be_v victorious_a but_o i_o say_v that_o the_o party_n must_v have_v courage_n because_o the_o devil_n do_v ordinary_o in_o the_o beginning_n dispose_v himself_o to_o represent_v yea_o and_o frame_v very_o great_a difficulty_n to_o the_o end_n that_o so_o we_o may_v not_o hold-on_a this_o way_n in_o good_a earnest_n as_o one_o who_o know_v very_o 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such_o as_o be_v already_o resolve_v to_o go_v in_o search_n after_o so_o great_a a_o blessing_n and_o to_o obtain_v what_o they_o aspire_v to_o in_o the_o end_n for_o as_o for_o that_o whereof_o i_o be_v go_v once_o to_o speak_v concern_v mystical_a theology_n for_o so_o i_o think_v it_o be_v call_v i_o will_v treat_v thereof_o afterward_o the_o great_a and_o great_a trouble_n consist_v ever_o in_o these_o very_a beginning_n for_o those_o be_v they_o which_o cost_v most_o when_o a_o soul_n come_v to_o give_v our_o lord_n the_o whole_a stock_n and_o in_o the_o other_o degree_n of_o prayer_n which_o follow_v the_o most_o part_n of_o that_o which_o pass_v be_v
continue_v to_o remain_v in_o a_o very_a inferior_a degree_n in_o this_o way_n nor_o never_o also_o any_o one_o cowardly_a soul_n though_o yet_o withal_o it_o have_v the_o safeguard_n of_o humility_n which_o be_v able_a to_o make_v so_o much_o way_n in_o many_o year_n as_o i_o have_v find_v those_o other_o do_v in_o very_a few_o i_o be_o even_o amaze_v when_o i_o consider_v how_o much_o it_o work_v in_o this_o kind_n for_o one_o to_o animate_v himself_o towards_o the_o do_n of_o great_a thing_n though_o instant_o he_o may_v perhaps_o not_o have_v force_n where_o with_o to_o perform_v for_o the_o soul_n put_v herself_o to_o make_v a_o flight_n and_o arrive_v to_o be_v in_o a_o high_a place_n though_o yet_o like_o some_o young_a bird_n she_o be_v not_o so_o well_o feather_v yet_o and_o therefore_o as_o be_v weary_a she_o can_v but_o pause_v and_o hover_v in_o former_a time_n i_o often_o remember_v and_o consider_v what_o s._n paul_n affirm_v of_o himself_o namely_o that_o he_o can_v do_v all_o thing_n in_o god_n who_o comfort_v he_o for_o as_o for_o i_o i_o know_v well_o that_o i_o can_v do_v nothing_o of_o myself_o but_o that_o say_v of_o his_o do_v i_o very_o much_o good_a &_o so_o also_o do_v this_o other_o of_o s._n augustin_n give_v i_o o_o lord_n what_o thou_o command_v and_o then_o command_v i_o what_o thou_o will_v and_o for_o my_o part_n i_o think_v also_o many_o time_n that_o s._n peter_n have_v lose_v nothing_o by_o the_o bargain_n when_o he_o cast_v himself_o headlong_o into_o the_o sea_n though_o yet_o he_o be_v afraid_a afterward_o in_o a_o word_n these_o first_o strong_a purpose_n and_o resolution_n be_v a_o great_a matter_n though_o yet_o in_o this_o first_o degree_n and_o state_n it_o be_v fit_a that_o we_o go_v detain_v ourselves_o and_o hold_v ourselves_o fast_o tie_v to_o the_o discretion_n and_o dispose_v of_o a_o director_n but_o then_o we_o must_v procure_v that_o he_o may_v be_v such_o a_o one_o as_o will_v not_o teach_v we_o to_o leap_v heavy_o 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presume_v ourselves_o to_o be_v spiritual_a person_n it_o seem_v to_o i_o that_o this_o kind_n of_o way_n of_o proceed_v show_v a_o desire_n in_o they_o to_o put_v the_o body_n and_o mind_n into_o such_o a_o concurrence_n and_o correspondence_n as_o that_o we_o will_v fain_o find_v mean_n to_o take_v our_o ease_n in_o this_o world_n and_o yet_o enjoy_v god_n in_o the_o next_o and_o that_o conceit_n will_v prove_v to_o be_v true_a if_o we_o live_v according_a to_o justice_n and_o continue_v to_o stick_v close_o to_o virtue_n but_o yet_o still_o this_o be_v but_o the_o pace_n of_o a_o henn_n and_o it_o will_v never_o be_v able_a to_o bring_v we_o on_o to_o enjoy_v true_a liberty_n of_o spirit_n this_o seem_v indeed_o to_o be_v a_o good_a way_n of_o proceed_v for_o such_o as_o be_v in_o state_n of_o marriage_n who_o be_v to_o carry_v themselves_o according_a to_o their_o vocation_n but_o for_o any_o other_o state_n then_o that_o i_o do_v by_o no_o mean_n desire_n any_o such_o kind_n of_o profit_v in_o spirit_n as_o this_o nor_o shall_v they_o ever_o make_v i_o believe_v that_o it_o be_v a_o good_a one_o for_o i_o have_v try_v it_o long_o enough_o and_o i_o have_v ever_o continue_v in_o that_o way_n if_o our_o lord_n through_o his_o infinite_a goodness_n have_v not_o show_v i_o another_o and_o a_o short_a cut_n though_o yet_o withal_o it_o be_v true_a that_o i_o have_v ever_o great_a desire_n but_o i_o procure_v as_o i_o have_v say_v to_o use_v prayer_n though_o yet_o still_o to_o live_v withal_o at_o my_o pleasure_n but_o real_o i_o conceive_v that_o if_o any_o body_n will_v have_v encourage_v i_o to_o fly_v a_o high_a pitch_n i_o shall_v have_v strive_v hard_o to_o make_v those_o desire_n prove_v deed_n but_o alas_o it_o be_v true_a that_o through_o our_o sin_n there_o be_v so_o very_a few_o and_o may_v so_o quick_o be_v count_v who_o have_v any_o more_o discretion_n then_o be_v necessary_a for_o such_o occurrence_n as_o these_o that_o i_o believe_v it_o be_v a_o great_a part_n of_o the_o cause_n why_o such_o as_o be_v beginner_n can_v get_v no_o fast_o on_o towards_o great_a perfection_n for_o our_o lord_n do_v never_o fail_v on_o his_o part_n but_o it_o be_v we_o who_o be_v still_o the_o faulty_a and_o miserable_a creature_n they_o may_v also_o be_v able_a to_o imitate_v the_o saint_n in_o procure_v to_o use_v solitude_n and_o keep_v silence_n and_o to_o exercise_v many_o other_o virtue_n which_o will_v yet_o by_o no_o mean_n murder_v this_o miserable_a body_n which_o they_o desire_v to_o preserve_v with_o such_o curiosity_n &_o care_n though_o it_o shall_v turn_v to_o the_o disorder_n of_o the_o soul_n and_o now_o the_o devil_n be_v careful_a enough_o to_o help_v to_o render_v we_o the_o more_o unable_a for_o when_o he_o see_v but_o a_o little_a inordinate_a fear_n he_o desire_v no_o more_o then_o to_o make_v we_o apprehend_v that_o every_o thing_n will_v be_v apt_a to_o kill_v we_o or_o at_o least_o to_o deprive_v we_o of_o our_o health_n yea_o and_o if_o we_o be_v accustom_v to_o have_v tear_n he_o will_v put_v we_o into_o a_o fear_n that_o we_o shall_v be_v blind_a myself_o have_v pass_v by_o this_o walk_n &_o therefore_o i_o know_v it_o and_o i_o know_v withal_o that_o i_o can_v tell_v what_o better_a kind_n of_o life_n or_o health_n we_o can_v possible_o desire_v then_o to_o loose_v they_o both_o upon_o such_o a_o occasion_n myself_o be_v so_o sickly_a as_o i_o be_v till_o i_o resolve_v to_o make_v no_o account_n at_o all_o of_o my_o health_n and_o of_o my_o body_n be_v ever_o tie_v up_o and_o be_v good_a for_o nothing_o and_o even_o now_o it_o be_v
for_o the_o make_v a_o little_a more_o prayer_n we_o shall_v outstripp_a they_o who_o yet_o be_v subject_a to_o so_o great_a penance_n bless_a be_v thou_o o_o lord_n who_o have_v make_v i_o so_o unprofitable_a and_o unuseful_a but_o yet_o i_o praise_v thou_o after_o a_o extraordinary_a manner_n in_o regard_n that_o thou_o awake_v so_o very_a many_o who_o may_v awake_v us._n and_o we_o shall_v do_v well_o to_o make_v very_o continual_a prayer_n for_o they_o who_o give_v we_o light_n for_o what_o will_v become_v of_o we_o without_o they_o in_o the_o midst_n of_o so_o great_a tempest_n as_o be_v now_o in_o the_o church_n if_o some_o man_n have_v be_v wicked_a the_o good_a will_v shine_v the_o bright_a by_o their_o mean_n i_o beseech_v our_o lord_n to_o hold_v they_o up_o with_o his_o hand_n that_o he_o may_v help_v such_o as_o help_v we_o amen_n i_o have_v travail_v far_o out_o of_o the_o way_n from_o that_o which_o i_o be_v go_v to_o say_v but_o all_o will_v serve_v the_o turn_n for_o 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prosecute_v the_o same_o argument_n about_o this_o three_o degree_n of_o prayer_n and_o finish_v the_o declaration_n of_o the_o effect_n which_o it_o work_n and_o declare_v also_o the_o disadvantage_n which_o the_o memory_n and_o imagination_n be_v wont_a to_o bring_v in_o this_o case_n i_o have_v already_o speak_v to_o some_o good_a proportion_n of_o this_o manner_n of_o prayer_n and_o of_o that_o which_o the_o soul_n be_v to_o perform_v therein_o or_o rather_o of_o what_o god_n do_v in_o she_o for_o now_o it_o be_v himself_o who_o take_v the_o office_n of_o gardner_n
have_v already_o show_v that_o there_o be_v then_o no_o power_n at_o all_o to_o do_v any_o thing_n that_o i_o express_v myself_o to_o his_o divine_a majesty_n much_o after_o this_o manner_n o_o lord_n consider_v well_o what_o thou_o do_v forget_v not_o my_o so_o very_a grievous_a sin_n so_o very_o soon_o and_o though_o thou_o have_v forget_v they_o so_o far_o as_o to_o vouchsafe_v to_o forgive_v they_o yet_o remember_v they_o also_o i_o humble_o beseech_v thou_o so_o far_o as_o to_o make_v thou_o put_v some_o limit_n upon_o those_o favour_n which_o thou_o be_v please_v to_o bestow_v upon_o i_o pour_v not_o o_o my_o creator_n so_o precious_a a_o liquor_n as_o that_o into_o so_o break_v a_o vessel_n as_o this_o since_o already_o thou_o have_v see_v how_o often_o i_o have_v scatter_v and_o spill_v it_o o_o lodge_v not_o and_o trust_v not_o such_o a_o treasure_n as_o this_o where_o the_o appetite_n and_o affection_n to_o all_o the_o consolation_n of_o this_o life_n be_v not_o yet_o so_o total_o lose_v and_o spend_v as_o it_o ought_v to_o be_v for_o if_o thou_o do_v it_o will_v be_v utter_o waste_v how_o can_v thou_o find_v in_o thy_o hart_n to_o deliver_v the_o strength_n of_o this_o city_n and_o even_o the_o very_a key_n of_o the_o fort_n into_o the_o hand_n of_o such_o a_o cowardly_a commander_n who_o be_v likely_a not_o to_o fail_v to_o give_v the_o enemy_n entrance_n upon_o the_o first_o assault_n which_o he_o shall_v make_v let_v not_o o_o my_o eternal_a king_n thy_o love_n to_o i_o be_v so_o great_a as_o that_o it_o shall_v make_v thou_o put_v such_o precious_a jewel_n as_o these_o into_o hazard_n and_o to_o i_o it_o seem_v o_o my_o lord_n that_o thou_o may_v give_v the_o world_n occasion_n hereby_o to_o undervalue_v these_o great_a favour_n of_o thou_o since_o thou_o put_v they_o into_o the_o custody_n and_o power_n of_o a_o creature_n who_o be_v so_o wicked_a so_o base_a so_o weak_a so_o miserable_a and_o of_o so_o little_a worth_n in_o any_o kind_n who_o though_o i_o now_o begin_v to_o labour_n that_o i_o may_v not_o utter_o loose_v they_o through_o thy_o favour_n which_o also_o have_v no_o need_n to_o be_v little_a consider_v what_o kind_n of_o thing_n i_o be_o shall_v yet_o be_v never_o able_a to_o gain_v any_o other_o creature_n to_o thou_o by_o mean_n thereof_o in_o fine_a i_o be_o a_o woman_n and_o no_o good_a woman_n but_o a_o very_a wicked_a one_o and_o it_o seem_v that_o these_o talent_n of_o thou_o be_v thus_o not_o only_o to_o be_v hide_v by_o this_o mean_n but_o even_o to_o be_v quite_o bury_v up_o since_o thou_o put_v they_o into_o so_o ungracious_a and_o unlucky_a a_o soil_n thou_o be_v not_o wont_a o_o lord_n to_o impart_v such_o favour_n and_o greatness_n as_o these_o to_o any_o soul_n but_o when_o there_o may_v be_v hope_n that_o she_o will_v be_v able_a to_o gain_v many_o other_o to_o thy_o service_n and_o thou_o know_v o_o my_o god_n already_o that_o i_o have_v sometime_o beg_v this_o favour_n and_o still_o i_o beg_v it_o of_o thou_o with_o my_o whole_a hart_n and_o with_o the_o entire_a affection_n thereof_o and_o i_o be_o resolve_v to_o think_v it_o fit_a to_o be_v content_a to_o loose_v the_o high_a blessing_n which_o can_v possible_o be_v enjoy_v upon_o earth_n to_o the_o end_n that_o thou_o may_v vouchsafe_v it_o to_o some_o other_o who_o will_v profit_v more_o by_o it_o that_o so_o thy_o own_o glory_n may_v be_v increase_v both_o these_o and_o such_o other_o thing_n as_o these_o have_v it_o occur_v to_o i_o to_o utter_v many_o time_n but_o yet_o afterward_o i_o perceive_v i_o own_o great_a folly_n herein_o together_o with_o my_o little_a humility_n for_o our_o lord_n know_v very_o well_o what_o be_v fit_a for_o every_o creature_n and_o that_o there_o be_v not_o to_o be_v strength_n enough_o in_o my_o soul_n whereby_o she_o may_v ever_o grow_v to_o be_v save_v if_o his_o divine_a majesty_n have_v not_o enrich_v she_o with_o so_o great_a favour_n but_o i_o also_o now_o pretend_v to_o declare_v the_o grace_n and_o effect_n prayer_n which_o remain_v by_o this_o prayer_n in_o the_o soul_n and_o what_o that_o be_v which_o she_o may_v be_v able_a to_o do_v of_o herself_o and_o if_o she_o may_v any_o way_n conduce_v towards_o the_o bring_n herself_o to_o this_o high_a state_n it_o happen_v that_o this_o elevation_n of_o the_o spirit_n or_o union_n come_v both_o of_o they_o with_o a_o celestial_a kind_n of_o love._n for_o according_a to_o my_o way_n of_o understanding_n this_o union_n union_n be_v a_o different_a thing_n from_o elevation_n though_o yet_o the_o soul_n be_v elevate_v in_o this_o very_a union_n whosoever_o have_v not_o try_v and_o feel_v this_o last_o will_v be_v of_o a_o different_a conceit_n but_o yet_o in_o my_o opinion_n though_o even_o it_o shall_v be_v all_o one_o yet_o our_o lord_n work_v therein_o after_o a_o different_a manner_n and_o by_o the_o increase_n which_o the_o soul_n have_v of_o be_v able_a to_o untie_v herself_o from_o the_o love_n of_o all_o creature_n she_o seem_v to_o be_v very_o much_o great_a in_o that_o flight_n and_o elevation_n of_o the_o spirit_n and_o i_o have_v clear_o see_v that_o this_o be_v a_o distinct_a and_o particular_a favour_n although_o the_o thing_n themselves_o may_v be_v all_o one_o as_o i_o say_v or_o at_o least_o may_v seem_v so_o but_o a_o small_a fire_n be_v as_o true_o and_o real_o fire_n as_o a_o great_a one_o and_o yet_o still_o we_o see_v difference_n enough_o between_o the_o one_o and_o the_o other_o for_o before_o a_o little_a iron_n can_v be_v able_a to_o be_v make_v red_a hot_a in_o a_o small_a fire_n a_o good_a space_n of_o time_n will_v be_v spend_v but_o now_o if_o the_o fire_n be_v great_a the_o iron_n though_o it_o be_v also_o great_a will_v loose_v the_o appearance_n of_o iron_n very_o quick_o just_o so_o do_v it_o seem_v to_o i_o to_o happen_v in_o these_o two_o sort_n of_o favour_n from_o our_o bless_a lord_n and_o i_o know_v that_o whosoever_o may_v ever_o have_v arrive_v to_o be_v in_o rapt_v will_v understand_v i_o well_o but_o such_o as_o have_v have_v no_o experience_n therein_o will_v hold_v all_o that_o to_o be_v impertinent_a which_o i_o have_v say_v perhaps_o also_o it_o be_v so_o indeed_o and_o so_o as_o he_o will_v have_v have_v reason_n who_o believe_v it_o for_o how_o shall_v such_o a_o thing_n as_o i_o presume_v to_o speak_v of_o such_o a_o thing_n as_o this_o and_o to_o give_v some_o part_n of_o that_o to_o be_v understand_v which_o it_o seem_v impossible_a even_o to_o begin_v to_o declare_v with_o any_o word_n so_o that_o it_o be_v not_o strange_a a_o whitt_n if_o i_o talk_v idle_o but_o yet_o i_o believe_v this_o of_o our_o bless_a lord_n because_o his_o divine_a majesty_n know_v that_o next_o to_o this_o act_n of_o obedience_n my_o intention_n be_v no_o other_o then_o to_o make_v soul_n even_o as_o it_o be_v gluttonous_a after_o the_o obtain_n of_o so_o high_a a_o good_a that_o he_o will_v be_v please_v to_o assist_v i_o herein_o and_o i_o be_o sure_a i_o will_v say_v nothing_o whereof_o i_o have_v not_o have_v much_o experience_n and_o it_o be_v a_o real_a truth_n that_o when_o i_o begin_v to_o write_v of_o this_o water_n i_o conceive_v it_o to_o be_v a_o more_o impossible_a thing_n for_o i_o to_o treat_v of_o it_o then_o to_o speak_v greek_a so_o very_o hard_o do_v i_o find_v it_o upon_o this_o i_o give_v it_o over_o and_o go_v to_o receive_v the_o bless_a sacrament_n but_o our_o lord_n be_v ever_o praise_v who_o do_v so_o great_a favour_n to_o ignorant_a person_n o_o virtue_n of_o obedience_n which_o be_v able_a to_o do_v all_o thing_n for_o almighty_a god_n do_v illuminate_v my_o understanding_n sometime_o by_o help_v i_o to_o the_o very_a express_a word_n which_o i_o be_v to_o use_v and_o at_o other_o time_n by_o represent_v the_o manner_n to_o i_o how_o i_o shall_v declare_v the_o thing_n so_o that_o as_o his_o divine_a majesty_n be_v please_v to_o do_v in_o the_o former_a degree_n of_o prayer_n it_o seem_v that_o he_o will_v also_o here_o declare_v what_o i_o neither_o can_v nor_o know_v how_o to_o express_v but_o that_o which_o now_o i_o say_v be_v a_o most_o literal_a truth_n and_o so_o that_o which_o shall_v be_v good_a be_v his_o instruction_n and_o doctrine_n and_o whatsoever_o falls-out_a to_o be_v ill_a it_o be_v clear_a that_o it_o proceed_v and_o flow_v from_o this_o deep_a sea_n of_o mischief_n and_o sin_n which_o be_v myself_o and_o therefore_o i_o here_o affirm_v that_o if_o any_o have_v arrive_v to_o these_o point_n and_o particular_n of_o prayer_n wherein_o our_o lord_n have_v do_v so_o great_a favour_n
myself_o have_v receive_v so_o great_a favour_n from_o almighty_a god_n can_v ever_o procure_v to_o come_v to_o mental_a prayer_n and_o that_o for_o i_o it_o will_v suffice_v if_o i_o say_v those_o vocal_a prayer_n to_o which_o i_o be_v bind_v as_o other_o do_v but_o that_o since_o now_o i_o do_v not_o even_o thus_o much_o well_o what_o sense_n be_v there_o that_o i_o shall_v pretend_v to_o do_v more_o and_o that_o this_o be_v to_o express_v little_a reverence_n to_o almighty_a god_n and_o to_o underualue_n his_o favour_n it_o be_v fit_a to_o think_v and_o know_v all_o this_o but_o to_o put_v it_o in_o execution_n have_v be_v extreme_o ill_o do_v and_o be_v thou_o bless_v o_o lord_n who_o bring_v i_o the_o remedy_n for_o this_o temptation_n seem_v to_o have_v be_v no_o less_o than_o a_o beginning_n to_o that_o other_o which_o the_o devil_n bring_v upon_o judas_n but_o that_o traitor_n the_o devil_n dare_v not_o tempt_v i_o so_o open_o but_o will_v fain_o have_v come_v by_o little_a and_o little_a to_o set_v upon_o i_o as_o he_o do_v upon_o he_o and_o now_o for_o the_o love_n of_o our_o lord_n let_v all_o they_o who_o use_v mental_a prayer_n consider_v well_o that_o which_o follow_v very_o well_o let_v they_o know_v that_o during_o the_o time_n when_o i_o forbear_v it_o my_o life_n be_v much_o worse_o than_o before_o and_o let_v it_o be_v well_o consider_v what_o a_o fine_a kind_n of_o remedy_n the_o devil_n bring_v i_o and_o what_o a_o dainty_a ridiculous_a humility_n it_o must_v be_v which_o can_v fill_v i_o with_o so_o deep_a a_o disquiet_n for_o indeed_o how_o can_v this_o soul_n of_o i_o appease_v itself_o the_o ignorant_a foolish_a creature_n go_v away_o as_o fast_o as_o she_o can_v from_o her_o true_a repose_n and_o rest_n she_o have_v her_o favour_n and_o regalo_n present_a to_o her_o memory_n and_o she_o find_v that_o the_o contentment_n of_o this_o world_n be_v so_o loathsome_a as_o even_o almost_o to_o provoke_v a_o vomit_n but_o i_o be_o amaze_v how_o i_o can_v endure_v it_o though_o belike_o it_o be_v with_o some_o kind_n of_o hope_n that_o at_o the_o worst_a hand_n i_o may_v be_v able_a to_o remain_v free_a from_o sin_n for_o i_o never_o as_o i_o remember_v though_o yet_o it_o be_v now_o more_o than_o one_o &_o twenty_o year_n ago_o gave-ove_a a_o be_v resolve_v to_o return_v to_o prayer_n but_o o_o how_o ill-grounded_a and_o address_v be_v this_o hope_n of_o i_o for_o the_o devil_n will_v fain_o have_v turn_v i_o over_o till_o the_o day_n of_o judgement_n that_o so_o from_o thence_o he_o may_v conduct_v i_o to_o hell_n but_o yet_o now_o afterward_o i_o frequent_v prayer_n &_o read_v which_o be_v indeed_o the_o way_n to_o see_v real_a truth_n &_o look_v down_o upon_o that_o wicked_a course_n which_o i_o be_v hold_v and_o often_o importune_v our_o bless_a lord_n with_o many_o tear_n i_o be_v yet_o so_o very_o wretched_a that_o i_o know_v not_o by_o any_o mean_n how_o to_o help_v myself_o but_o then_o again_o on_o the_o other_o side_n i_o grow_v to_o give-ove_a these_o good_a thing_n and_o employ_v myself_o upon_o certain_a idle_a pastime_n and_o expose_v myself_o to_o many_o occasion_n of_o ill_a and_o enjoy_v very_o few_o help_n and_o i_o may_v rather_o venture_v to_o say_v none_o at_o all_o but_o only_o such_o as_o may_v help_v i_o to_o fall_v for_o what_o may_v i_o ever_o hope_v but_o what_o i_o have_v say_v i_o believe_v that_o a_o certain_a religious_a man_n of_o s._n dominick_n order_n who_o be_v very_o learned_a have_v great_a merit_n in_o the_o sight_n of_o god_n for_o he_o awake_v i_o out_o of_o this_o sleep_n and_o he_o make_v i_o as_o i_o think_v i_o have_v already_o express_v receive_v the_o b._n sacrament_n every_o fortnight_n and_o so_o my_o misery_n be_v then_o not_o altogether_o so_o great_a i_o begin_v to_o come_v back_o again_o into_o myself_o though_o yet_o withal_o i_o forbear_v not_o to_o commit_v some_o offence_n against_o our_o lord_n but_o because_o i_o have_v not_o lose_v my_o way_n i_o go_v still_o on_o with_o fall_v &_o rise_v though_o yet_o but_o by_o little_a and_o little_a and_o he_o who_o never_o gives-ove_a to_o go_v forward_o will_v arrive_v at_o length_n by_o go_v soft_o though_o it_o be_v late_o for_o my_o part_n i_o conceive_v that_o for_o a_o soul_n to_o loose_v her_o way_n and_o to_o leave_v her_o prayer_n be_v indeed_o but_o one_o and_o the_o self_n same_o thing_n and_o our_o lord_n deliver_v we_o from_o it_o for_o his_o own_o mercy_n sake_n it_o be_v heerupon_o to_o be_v infer_v and_o i_o desire_v even_o for_o the_o love_n of_o our_o lord_n that_o it_o may_v be_v much_o observe_v that_o although_o a_o soul_n shall_v come_v to_o such_o pass_n as_o that_o our_o lord_n may_v do_v her_o great_a favour_n in_o prayer_n she_o must_v not_o yet_o be_v confident_a of_o herself_o since_o she_o may_v yet_o come_v to_o fall_v again_o and_o let_v she_o not_o by_o any_o mean_n expose_v herself_o to_o heed_n occasion_n of_o sinne._n let_v she_o be_v careful_a to_o consider_v thus_o much_o for_o the_o deceit_n of_o which_o the_o devil_n be_v wont_a to_o serve_v himself_o in_o this_o occasion_n be_v very_o great_a for_o though_o the_o favour_n which_o be_v impart_v to_o the_o soul_n be_v most_o certain_o from_o almighty_a god_n yet_o the_o traitor_n will_v not_o fail_v to_o serve_v himself_o of_o that_o very_a favour_n in_o whatsoever_o he_o can_v and_o especial_o for_o the_o disadvantage_n of_o person_n who_o be_v not_o strong_a in_o virtue_n and_o mortification_n nor_o be_v absolute_o untie_v and_o loose_a from_o all_o thing_n belong_v to_o this_o world_n for_o man_n in_o fine_a must_v know_v that_o they_o be_v not_o by_o mean_n of_o this_o prayer_n sufficient_o strengthen_v and_o fortify_v as_o i_o will_v declare_v afterward_o for_o the_o put_v themselves_o into_o occasion_n and_o danger_n how_o great_a desire_n and_o resolution_n soever_o they_o may_v have_v this_o be_v a_o excellent_a doctrine_n and_o it_o be_v not_o i_o but_o teach_v by_o almighty_a god_n himself_o and_o so_o i_o shall_v be_v glad_a that_o all_o ignorant_a person_n like_v i_o may_v learn_v it_o for_o though_o a_o soul_n be_v never_o so_o high_a in_o this_o state_n yet_o must_v she_o not_o trust_v herself_o so_o far_o as_o to_o go_v out_o to_o combat_v but_o she_o will_v have_v acquit_v herself_o well_o if_o she_o can_v defend_v herself_o so_o that_o in_o this_o state_n and_o condition_n it_o will_v be_v necessary_a for_o she_o to_o carry_v defensive_a arm_n against_o the_o devil_n for_o yet_o she_o have_v not_o strength_n enough_o wherewith_o to_o assault_v he_o and_o much_o less_o to_o tread_v he_o under_o foot_n as_o yet_o they_o will_v be_v able_a to_o do_v who_o shall_v find_v themselves_o in_o that_o state_n whereof_o i_o will_v discourse_v afterward_o but_o this_o be_v that_o devise_n and_o cosening-trick_n whereby_o the_o devil_n be_v wont_a to_o take_v we_o that_o when_o once_o he_o see_v a_o soul_n arrive_v to_o be_v so_o very_o near_o to_o 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and_o thus_o she_o expose_v herself_o as_o i_o be_v say_v to_o danger_n and_o begin_v with_o a_o foolish_a kind_n of_o good_a zeal_n to_o be_v give_v the_o fruit_n of_o her_o garden_n away_o to_o other_o without_o any_o limit_n as_o believe_v now_o that_o she_o have_v no_o more_o cause_n so_o to_o be_v afraid_a concern_v herself_o and_o that_o this_o be_v not_o forsooth_o out_o of_o pride_n for_o the_o soul_n understand_v well_o enough_o that_o she_o be_v able_a to_o do_v nothing_o of_o herself_o but_o through_o the_o much_o temptation_n confidence_n which_o she_o have_v in_o almighty_a god_n yet_o all_o this_o be_v without_o discretion_n because_o
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by_o those_o beam_n you_o will_v find_v it_o to_o be_v all_o full_a of_o moat_n this_o comparison_n be_v very_o literal_o true_a for_o before_o the_o soul_n be_v in_o this_o extasis_fw-la she_o conceive_v herself_o to_o have_v be_v very_o careful_a not_o to_o offend_v almighty_a god_n &_o that_o she_o perform_v it_o according_a to_o the_o uttermost_a of_o her_o power_n but_o yet_o be_v come_v once_o so_o far_o as_o that_o this_o sun_n of_o justice_n shine_v upon_o she_o which_o make_v her_o open_a her_o eye_n she_o than_o see_v so_o many_o moat_n therein_o that_o she_o will_v be_v glad_a if_o she_o can_v tell_v how_o to_o shut_v they_o again_o for_o she_o be_v not_o yet_o become_v so_o true_a a_o eaglet_n of_o this_o swift_a and_o strong_a eagle_n which_o breed_v she_o as_o that_o she_o can_v be_v able_a to_o look_v earnest_o upon_o this_o sun_n but_o how_o little_a soever_o she_o chance_v to_o hold_v they_o open_a she_o see_v herself_o all_o impure_a and_o call_v that_o verse_n to_o mind_n which_o say_v who_o shall_v ever_o be_v just_a in_o thy_o presence_n when_o once_o she_o behold_v this_o divine_a sun_n her_o sight_n be_v dazzle_v by_o the_o brightness_n of_o it_o but_o when_o she_o look_v in_o upon_o herself_o her_o eye_n be_v stop_v up_o with_o clay_n and_o so_o this_o poor_a dove_n be_v blind_a yea_o and_o it_o happen_v many_o time_n that_o she_o also_o remain_v blind_a for_o good_a and_o all_o as_o be_v absorb_v amaze_a and_o as_o it_o be_v out_o of_o her_o wit_n with_o so_o many_o mighty_a greatness_n as_o she_o be_v then_o grow_v to_o see_v heer_n final_o be_v true_a humility_n acquire_v not_o care_v any_o way_n at_o all_o either_o to_o speak_v well_o of_o herself_o or_o yet_o that_o other_o shall_v do_v it_o and_o our_o lord_n divide_v and_o dispose_v of_o the_o fruit_n of_o this_o garden_n not_o she_o and_o so_o there_o stick_v nothing_o of_o it_o to_o her_o finger_n all_o the_o good_a which_o she_o have_v go_v on_o as_o still_o address_v to_o 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be_v here_o no_o more_o now_o any_o need_n that_o the_o soul_n shall_v give_v any_o new_a consent_n since_o already_o she_o have_v give_v it_o all_o and_o know_v that_o she_o have_v voluntary_o deliver_v herself_o whole_o up_o into_o his_o hand_n and_o that_o she_o can_v deceive_v he_o who_o be_v the_o knower_n of_o all_o thing_n for_o it_o be_v not_o as_o thing_n pass_v here_o in_o this_o world_n where_o all_o this_o life_n of_o we_o be_v full_a of_o nothing_o but_o duplicity_n and_o deceit_n and_o when_o you_o think_v you_o have_v full_o get_v the_o good_a will_n of_o any_o creature_n by_o the_o show_n he_o make_v you_o quick_o come_v to_o understand_v that_o all_o be_v trick_n and_o lie_v and_o that_o no_o body_n can_v tell_v how_o to_o live_v in_o a_o world_n of_o so_o much_o odd_a business_n especial_o if_o there_o be_v any_o little_a interest_n of_o the_o party_n but_o bless_a be_v that_o soul_n which_o our_o lord_n come_v once_o to_o draw_v to_o the_o knowledge_n of_o such_o thing_n as_o be_v real_a truth_n o_o what_o a_o condition_n and_o fortune_n be_v this_o for_o king_n and_o how_o much_o will_v it_o import_v they_o more_o to_o gain_v this_o great_a advantage_n then_o to_o get_v large_a dominion_n and_o state_n what_o rectitude_n will_v there_o be_v find_v in_o the_o kingdom_n how_o many_o mischief_n will_v have_v be_v forbear_v already_o &_o will_v also_o be_v forbear_v hereafter_o for_o here_o there_o be_v no_o fear_n of_o lose_v life_n or_o honour_n for_o the_o love_n of_o almighty_a god_n but_o rather_o such_o loss_n as_o these_o will_v go_v for_o a_o great_a blessing_n among_o such_o as_o find_v thenfelue_n carry_v another_o manner_n of_o respect_n to_o the_o honour_n of_o our_o lord_n then_o to_o all_o they_o to_o who_o they_o be_v less_o oblige_v for_o king_n be_v the_o man_n who_o those_o other_o follow_v and_o in_o this_o case_n these_o king_n will_v loose_v a_o thousand_o kingdom_n and_o they_o will_v have_v great_a reason_n to_o be_v glad_a 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of_o this_o it_o breed_v a_o kind_n of_o devotion_n in_o i_o that_o thou_o o_o my_o king_n may_v be_v please_v to_o make_v they_o even_o hereby_o understand_v that_o they_o ought_v to_o imitate_v thou_o in_o their_o life_n since_o there_o grow_v in_o some_o sort_n to_o be_v certain_a appearance_n and_o sign_n in_o heaven_n at_o their_o death_n as_o there_o be_v when_o even_o thyself_o come_v to_o die_v i_o see_v well_o that_o i_o be_o presume_v very_o far_o but_o i_o beseech_v your_o reverence_n tear_v it_o if_o you_o mislike_v it_o and_o believe_v that_o i_o will_v be_v glad_a to_o speak_v it_o better_o if_o i_o be_v present_a
not_o be_v able_a to_o think_v of_o any_o thing_n for_o this_o be_v that_o of_o which_o i_o speak_v most_o that_o namely_o i_o can_v not_o think_v of_o any_o thing_n in_o distinct_a manner_n when_o i_o have_v that_o prayer_n and_o i_o mark_v and_o note_v those_o place_n with_o certain_a line_n wherein_o that_o passage_n be_v contain_v and_o then_o i_o deliver_v he_o the_o book_n to_o the_o end_n that_o both_o himself_o and_o that_o holy_a priest_n and_o servant_n of_o god_n of_o who_o i_o speak_v before_o may_v consider_v it_o and_o make_v i_o know_v what_o i_o be_v to_o do_v and_o whither_o perhaps_o they_o may_v be_v of_o opinion_n that_o i_o be_v to_o give-ove_a my_o prayer_n altogether_o for_o in_o fine_a to_o what_o purpose_n be_v i_o to_o thrust_v myself_o into_o those_o danger_n if_o now_o after_o i_o have_v use_v this_o prayer_n for_o almost_o twenty_o year_n together_o i_o have_v make_v no_o other_o benefit_n thereof_o but_o to_o be_v subject_a to_o the_o deceit_n of_o the_o devil_n and_o that_o therefore_o it_o be_v better_o for_o i_o not_o to_o use_v this_o prayer_n at_o all_o though_o yet_o it_o be_v also_o true_a that_o this_o show_v itself_o as_o a_o very_a sad_a and_o hard_a case_n to_o i_o since_o already_o i_o have_v find_v by_o experience_n how_o ill_o it_o go_v with_o my_o soul_n without_o the_o exercise_n of_o prayer_n so_o that_o now_o i_o can_v see_v nothing_o but_o misery_n on_o all_o side_n like_o one_o who_o be_v cast_v into_o a_o river_n and_o to_o which_o side_n soever_o he_o shall_v go_v he_o may_v still_o have_v the_o more_o danger_n to_o fear_v and_o be_v so_o come_v to_o the_o very_a point_n as_o it_o be_v of_o drown_v this_o be_v a_o very_a mighty_a affliction_n and_o of_o this_o kind_n i_o have_v endure_v many_o as_o i_o shall_v declare_v afterward_o for_o though_o perhaps_o it_o may_v seem_v not_o to_o import_v yet_o peradventure_o it_o may_v indeed_o prove_v to_o be_v of_o use_n towards_o the_o understanding_n of_o how_o a_o spirit_n be_v to_o be_v try_v for_o certain_o the_o affliction_n which_o use_v to_o be_v endure_v in_o these_o case_n be_v very_o great_a and_o there_o be_v need_n of_o a_o nice_a hand_n and_o of_o a_o warye_a foot_n especial_o when_o man_n treat_v with_o woman_n for_o our_o weakness_n be_v very_o great_a and_o much_o mischief_n may_v chance_v to_o arrive_v by_o tell_v we_o that_o such_o or_o such_o a_o thing_n be_v certain_o the_o devil_n without_o consider_v it_o first_o very_o well_o and_o remove_v we_o from_o those_o danger_n which_o may_v occur_v and_o advise_v we_o to_o keep_v thing_n very_o private_a and_o that_o they_o also_o be_v careful_a thereof_o themselves_o for_o this_o be_v fit_a and_o herein_o it_o be_v i_o who_o speak_v as_o one_o who_o have_v endure_v affliction_n enough_o for_o not_o have_v have_v fit_a person_n with_o who_o i_o may_v confer_v about_o my_o prayer_n but_o by_o ask_v first_o one_o and_o then_o another_o what_o may_v do_v i_o good_a which_o have_v do_v i_o hurt_n enough_o for_o now_o diverse_a thing_n have_v grow_v to_o be_v public_a which_o may_v well_o have_v remain_v very_o private_a since_o they_o be_v not_o for_o every_o body_n be_v understand_v and_o beside_o it_o may_v have_v seem_v as_o if_o they_o have_v be_v diwlge_v by_o i_o i_o well_o believe_v that_o those_o other_o do_v it_o without_o any_o fault_n in_o they_o but_o that_o our_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o permit_v it_o to_o the_o end_n that_o i_o may_v suffer_v by_o it_o i_o be_o far_o from_o say_v yea_o or_o so_o much_o as_o think_v as_o if_o any_o of_o they_o relate_v any_o such_o particular_a as_o have_v pass_v from_o i_o to_o they_o in_o confession_n for_o there_o be_v no_o such_o matter_n but_o yet_o in_o regard_n it_o come_v from_o i_o to_o such_o person_n as_o to_o who_o in_o the_o way_n of_o conference_n i_o give_v account_n of_o my_o fear_n to_o the_o end_n that_o they_o may_v assist_v i_o with_o give_v i_o light_n i_o think_v they_o may_v have_v keep_v my_o counsel_n but_o how_o soever_o i_o dare_v never_o conceal_v any_o thing_n from_o such_o person_n in_o such_o occasion_n as_o those_o i_o say_v therefore_o that_o such_o as_o i_o be_v then_o must_v be_v counsel_v with_o much_o discretion_n and_o animate_v and_o time_n must_v be_v expect_v for_o our_o bless_a lord_n will_v help_v they_o as_o he_o do_v i_o which_o if_o he_o have_v not_o do_v the_o prejudice_n which_o i_o shall_v have_v suffer_v will_v have_v be_v extreme_a by_o reason_n of_o my_o be_v so_o full_a of_o apprehension_n and_o fear_n and_o especial_o consider_v to_o how_o great_a palpitation_n of_o hart_n i_o be_v subject_a i_o wonder_v how_o this_o other_o accident_n do_v i_o not_o more_o hurt_n when_o therefore_o i_o have_v deliver_v this_o book_n and_o make_v a_o relation_n of_o my_o life_n and_o of_o my_o sin_n the_o best_a i_o can_v though_o yet_o in_o gross_a for_o i_o do_v it_o not_o in_o the_o way_n of_o confession_n in_o regard_n he_o be_v a_o secular_a person_n though_o yet_o still_o i_o make_v he_o understand_v how_o wicked_a i_o be_v those_o two_o servant_n of_o almighty_a god_n consider_v with_o great_a charity_n and_o love_n what_o may_v be_v convenient_a for_o i_o to_o do_v now_o the_o answer_n be_v ready_a which_o i_o expect_v with_o fear_n enough_o and_o i_o have_v recommend_v myself_o at_o that_o time_n to_o many_o person_n that_o they_o may_v recommend_v i_o over_o to_o almighty_a god_n and_o myself_o also_o have_v be_v much_o in_o prayer_n with_o affliction_n enough_o of_o hart_n to_o myself_o the_o cavallier_n come_v to_o i_o at_o length_n and_o tell_v i_o that_o in_o the_o opinion_n both_o of_o himself_o and_o of_o the_o other_o it_o be_v the_o devil_n and_o that_o the_o thing_n which_o will_v be_v fit_a for_o i_o to_o do_v be_v to_o treat_v about_o this_o business_n with_o a_o certain_a father_n of_o the_o society_n of_o jesus_n who_o if_o i_o will_v call_v he_o to_o i_o &_o declare_v that_o i_o be_v in_o necessity_n of_o his_o help_n will_v not_o fail_v to_o come_v and_o that_o i_o shall_v give_v he_o a_o account_n of_o my_o whole_a life_n by_o way_n of_o make_v a_o general_n confession_n as_o also_o otherwise_o of_o my_o condition_n and_o that_o i_o must_v proceed_v in_o all_o thing_n with_o much_o clearness_n and_o that_o then_o in_o virtue_n of_o the_o sacrament_n of_o confession_n almighty_a god_n will_v give_v he_o more_o light_a where_o with_o to_o direct_v i_o and_o that_o they_o be_v man_n of_o great_a experience_n in_o matter_n of_o spirit_n but_o that_o i_o shall_v do_v well_o to_o be_v very_o careful_a not_o to_o swerve_v a_o whitt_n from_o what_o he_o say_v for_o that_o i_o will_v find_v myself_o in_o much_o danger_n if_o i_o want_v one_o to_o govern_v and_o direct_v my_o soul_n as_o for_o i_o he_o put_v i_o now_o into_o so_o great_a fear_n and_o pain_n that_o i_o know_v not_o what_o to_o do_v with_o myself_o and_o now_o there_o be_v nothing_o with_o i_o but_o weep_v and_o be_v one_o day_n very_o much_o afflict_v in_o a_o oratory_n i_o fall_v upon_o read_v a_o certain_a book_n which_o it_o seem_v our_o lord_n bring_v to_o my_o hand_n and_o s._n paul_n be_v cite_v there_o say_v that_o god_n be_v very_o faithful_a and_o that_o he_o never_o suffer_v they_o who_o love_v he_o to_o be_v tempt_v above_o their_o strength_n this_o comfort_v i_o very_o much_o and_o i_o begin_v to_o consider_v about_o make_v my_o general_n confession_n and_o to_o work_n put_v in_o writing_n all_o the_o sin_n and_o blessing_n with_o the_o course_n and_o proceed_v of_o my_o whole_a life_n the_o most_o clear_o that_o i_o understand_v and_o know_v how_o to_o do_v without_o leave_v any_o little_a thing_n out_o and_o i_o remember_v that_o when_o i_o read_v over_o what_o i_o have_v write_v and_o see_v so_o many_o sin_n to_o have_v be_v commit_v by_o i_o and_o in_o effect_n no_o good_a at_o all_o to_o have_v be_v do_v it_o give_v i_o a_o extreme_a affliction_n and_o sorrow_n of_o hart_n it_o also_o put_v i_o to_o some_o trouble_n that_o they_o of_o the_o house_n shall_v see_v i_o treat_v and_o converse_v with_o so_o holy_a people_n as_o they_o of_o the_o society_n of_o jesus_n be_v for_o i_o be_v afraid_a of_o my_o own_o wickedness_n and_o i_o thought_n i_o shall_v be_v oblige_v by_o that_o mean_n to_o be_v wicked_a no_o more_o and_o to_o give-ove_a my_o entertainment_n and_o pass-time_n and_o that_o if_o i_o do_v not_o this_o it_o will_v be_v worse_o with_o i_o so_o that_o i_o procure_v both_o with_o the_o portresse_n and_o with_o the_o sacristin_n that_o
distinct_a and_o clear_a that_o not_o one_o single_a syllable_n of_o all_o that_o which_o be_v say_v can_v be_v lose_v and_o yet_o these_o thing_n happen_v sometime_o when_o the_o understanding_n and_o indeed_o the_o whole_a soul_n be_v in_o so_o great_a distraction_n &_o disorder_n that_o it_o will_v never_o be_v able_a to_o hit_v right_a in_o the_o frame_n of_o one_o little_a piece_n of_o good_a discourse_n but_o she_o find_v in_o this_o other_o way_n certain_a great_a and_o weighty_a sentence_n which_o be_v impart_v to_o she_o so_o strange_o well_o order_v and_o dress_v that_o though_o she_o be_v never_o so_o deep_o recollect_v she_o be_v not_o able_a to_o reach_v they_o and_o yet_o at_o the_o very_a first_o word_n thereof_o as_o i_o be_v say_v they_o begin_v to_o make_v a_o total_a mutation_n of_o her_o soul_n and_o especial_o if_o she_o be_v bring_v into_o rapt_v when_o the_o power_n of_o the_o soul_n be_v suspend_v how_o shall_v those_o thing_n ever_o come_v to_o be_v understand_v by_o she_o after_o a_o natural_a way_n which_o be_v never_o expose_v before_o to_o her_o memory_n as_o they_o come_v to_o be_v then_o when_o it_o work_v not_o in_o effect_n at_o all_o and_o when_o her_o imagination_n be_v now_o upon_o the_o matter_n as_o it_o be_v all_o turn_a fool_n but_o here_o it_o be_v to_o be_v understand_v that_o whensoever_o either_o vision_n be_v see_v or_o any_o of_o these_o supernatural_a word_n or_o speech_n be_v hear_v it_o be_v never_o in_o my_o opinion_n at_o such_o time_n as_o when_o the_o soul_n be_v whole_o unite_v in_o the_o rapt_v itself_o for_o at_o those_o time_n as_o i_o think_v i_o declare_v already_o in_o my_o discourse_n of_o the_o second_o water_n all_o the_o power_n of_o the_o mind_n be_v entire_o lose_v and_o so_o we_o can_v at_o such_o time_n as_o those_o either_o see_v or_o hear_v or_o understand_v for_o the_o soul_n be_v whole_o in_o the_o power_n of_o another_o at_o that_o time_n which_o yet_o use_v to_o last_v very_o little_a and_o i_o think_v our_o lord_n leave_v she_o not_o in_o liberty_n to_o do_v any_o thing_n at_o all_o but_o when_o that_o short_a time_n be_v past_a the_o soul_n remain_v still_o in_o the_o rapt_v this_o happen_v whereof_o now_o i_o speak_v because_o the_o power_n remain_v in_o such_o sort_n at_o that_o time_n and_o though_o they_o be_v not_o lose_v yet_o in_o effect_n they_o operate_v and_o act_v nothing_o at_o all_o but_o be_v as_o if_o they_o be_v absorb_v and_o no_o way_n able_a to_o discourse_v by_o the_o assemble_v and_o compose_v of_o reason_n but_o there_o be_v so_o many_o way_n to_o understand_v the_o differennce_n which_o occurr_v here_o between_o the_o true_a and_o the_o false_a that_o if_o the_o soul_n shall_v chance_v to_o be_v deceive_v some_o once_o she_o will_v not_o be_v so_o very_o often_o nay_o i_o say_v further_o that_o if_o the_o soul_n have_v have_v any_o experience_n and_o be_v careful_a to_o observe_v what_o pass_v she_o will_v evident_o discern_v this_o truth_n for_o beside_o all_o other_o mean_n whereby_o that_o will_v appear_v which_o i_o have_v say_v these_o strain_a word_n will_v work_v no_o effect_n at_o all_o neither_o will_v the_o soul_n ever_o admit_v they_o as_o yet_o she_o must_v these_o other_o true_a one_o whether_o she_o will_v or_o no._n nor_o give_v she_o any_o credit_n to_o the_o thing_n at_o all_o but_o rather_o find_v and_o know_v that_o it_o be_v but_o a_o kind_n of_o idle_a imagination_n just_o so_o in_o effect_n as_o we_o will_v not_o make_v account_n of_o any_o thing_n which_o be_v say_v to_o we_o by_o a_o frantic_a person_n but_o this_o other_o be_v as_o if_o we_o hear_v some_o person_n speak_v who_o be_v very_o holy_a and_o learned_a and_o of_o great_a authority_n and_o such_o a_o one_o as_o we_o be_v sure_a will_v not_o lie_v yea_o and_o this_o be_v but_o a_o mean_a and_o base_a comparison_n because_o indeed_o these_o very_a word_n do_v bring_v with_o they_o sometime_o so_o great_a a_o majesty_n that_o even_o without_o so_o much_o as_o reflect_v upon_o who_o it_o be_v that_o speak_v they_o if_o they_o be_v word_n of_o reprehension_n they_o make_v man_n tremble_v and_o if_o they_o concern_v the_o love_n of_o god_n they_o make_v soul_n even_o dissolve_v and_o as_o it_o be_v annihilate_v themselves_o in_o love_n and_o they_o be_v thing_n in_o fine_a which_o as_o i_o have_v say_v already_o be_v very_o far_o then_o from_o our_o remembrance_n and_o there_o use_v to_o be_v so_o high_a and_o so_o great_a sentence_n so_o clear_o and_o so_o sudden_o pronounce_v as_o that_o there_o will_v have_v be_v need_n of_o a_o very_a great_a deal_n of_o time_n for_o the_o put_v they_o in_o order_n and_o for_o my_o part_n i_o think_v it_o be_v whole_o impossible_a that_o then_o such_o thing_n as_o those_o shall_v be_v even_o conceive_v by_o we_o to_o have_v be_v make_v or_o frame_v by_o ourselves_o so_o that_o there_o be_v no_o cause_n at_o all_o why_o i_o shall_v detain_v myself_o herein_o any_o long_o for_o it_o will_v look_v like_o a_o kind_n of_o wonder_n in_o my_o eye_n if_o any_o experience_a person_n shall_v be_v able_a to_o be_v deceive_v herein_o unless_o he_o will_v even_o have_v a_o mind_n to_o deceive_v himself_o it_o have_v happen_v to_o i_o very_o â—â—â—en_o not_o full_o to_o believe_v that_o which_o these_o word_n tell_v i_o if_o i_o be_v in_o any_o doubt_n at_o all_o thereof_o but_o to_o conceive_v that_o it_o be_v no_o more_o than_o my_o own_o fancy_n this_o i_o do_v when_o the_o occasion_n be_v past_a for_o at_o the_o present_a it_o be_v impossible_a but_o i_o have_v see_v it_o fulfil_v long_o after_o because_o our_o lord_n be_v please_v that_o the_o same_o shall_v remain_v still_o in_o the_o memory_n for_o it_o be_v not_o possible_a to_o forget_v it_o now_o that_o which_o be_v wont_a to_o proceed_v from_o our_o own_o understanding_n be_v in_o effect_n but_o the_o first_o motion_n of_o our_o thought_n which_o quick_o pass_v away_o and_o be_v forget_v whereas_o this_o other_o be_v a_o work_n rather_o than_o a_o word_n and_o though_o some_o part_n of_o it_o may_v be_v forget_v in_o a_o long_a tract_n of_o time_n yet_o the_o memory_n can_v loose_v it_o so_o far_o as_o not_o to_o know_v that_o it_o be_v say_v unless_o the_o time_n may_v have_v be_v very_o long_o or_o else_o if_o they_o be_v word_n of_o favour_n or_o of_o doctrine_n and_o instruction_n but_o if_o they_o be_v of_o prophesy_n they_o never_o happen_v in_o my_o opinion_n to_o be_v forget_v at_o least_o this_o never_o happen_v to_o i_o though_o yet_o i_o have_v a_o very_a ill_a memory_n and_o now_o i_o return_v to_o say_v that_o i_o think_v if_o a_o soul_n be_v not_o as_o it_o be_v so_o base_a and_o wicked_a as_o even_o in_o effect_n not_o to_o be_v a_o soul_n and_o unless_o it_o will_v counterfeit_v and_o feign_v which_o be_v mischief_n and_o misery_n enough_o and_o will_v say_v that_o she_o understand_v thing_n when_o yet_o real_o there_o be_v no_o such_o matter_n it_o be_v impossible_a but_o that_o she_o shall_v see_v clear_o that_o it_o be_v she_o herself_o who_o compose_v and_o frame_v those_o word_n and_o speak_v they_o to_o herself_o especial_o if_o she_o have_v have_v any_o understanding_n at_o all_o of_o the_o spirit_n of_o god_n for_o if_o she_o have_v not_o she_o may_v very_o well_o remain_v in_o this_o abuse_n or_o error_n all_o the_o day_n of_o her_o life_n and_o may_v perhaps_o conceive_v that_o she_o understand_v those_o word_n as_o speak_v by_o some_o other_o though_o yet_o for_o my_o part_n i_o confess_v that_o i_o can_v arrive_v to_o know_v how_o this_o shall_v be_v do_v for_o either_o this_o soul_n will_v understand_v they_o or_o not_o if_o she_o be_v dismiss_v herself_o of_o that_o which_o she_o understand_v and_o will_v fain_o understand_v no_o part_n of_o it_o for_o a_o thousand_o fear_n beside_o many_o other_o reason_n which_o she_o may_v have_v to_o continue_v quiet_a in_o her_o prayer_n without_o such_o accident_n as_o these_o how_o come_v she_o to_o allow_v so_o much_o time_n to_o the_o understanding_n as_o may_v serve_v for_o the_o compose_n of_o these_o reason_n for_o in_o fine_a there_o must_v be_v time_n for_o that_o but_o now_o in_o this_o other_o way_n we_o remain_v instruct_v without_o any_o loss_n of_o time_n at_o all_o yea_o and_o we_o grow_v to_o understand_v certain_a thing_n at_o a_o instant_n when_o yet_o otherwise_o a_o month_n will_v have_v be_v time_n little_a enough_o to_o ordain_v they_o yea_o and_o the_o understanding_n remain_v no_o less_o than_o amaze_v at_o some_o thing_n which_o we_o understand_v this_o be_v the_o very_a truth_n and_o whosoever_o
and_o so_o make_v those_o wretch_n tremble_v for_o already_o we_o know_v well_o enough_o that_o the_o devil_n be_v not_o able_a to_o stir_v unless_o our_o lord_n permit_v he_o what_o then_o may_v be_v the_o ground_n of_o all_o these_o disorder_n it_o be_v certain_o that_o i_o be_o more_o afraid_a of_o they_o who_o be_v so_o fright_v by_o the_o devil_n then_o of_o the_o devil_n himself_o for_o he_o be_v utter_o unable_a to_o do_v i_o hurt_v whereas_o these_o other_o especial_o if_o they_o be_v ghostly_a father_n may_v put_v soul_n to_o much_o disquiet_n and_o for_o my_o part_n i_o have_v pass_v some_o year_n through_o so_o great_a trouble_n that_o now_o i_o be_o even_o amaze_v to_o consider_v how_o i_o have_v be_v able_a to_o endure_v it_o but_o bless_v be_v our_o lord_n who_o have_v assist_v i_o in_o so_o good_a earnest_n amen_n the_o six_o and_o twenty_o chapter_n she_o prosecute_v the_o same_o discourse_n and_o go_v relate_v and_o declare_v such_o thing_n as_o happen_v to_o she_o which_o make_v her_o loose_a fear_n and_o to_o be_v strengthen_v in_o a_o beleif_n that_o it_o be_v a_o good_a spirit_n which_o speak_v to_o she_o i_o esteem_v the_o courage_n which_o our_o lord_n have_v vouchsafe_v to_o give_v i_o against_o all_o the_o devil_n of_o hell_n to_o be_v one_o of_o the_o great_a favour_n which_o it_o have_v please_v his_o divine_a majesty_n to_o do_v i_o since_o for_o a_o soul_n to_o go_v cowardly_o on_o and_o to_o be_v fearful_a indeed_o of_o any_o thing_n but_o only_o to_o offend_v the_o majesty_n of_o almighty_a god_n be_v a_o extreme_a inconvenience_n for_o since_o we_o have_v a_o king_n who_o be_v omnipotent_a and_o so_o great_a a_o lord_n that_o he_o can_v do_v what_o he_o list_n and_o who_o bring_v all_o thing_n into_o subjection_n under_o himself_o there_o be_v no_o fear_n at_o all_o to_o be_v have_v and_o therefore_o as_o i_o be_v say_v we_o have_v no_o cause_n to_o doubt_v so_o that_o we_o walk_v sincere_o and_o with_o purity_n of_o conscience_n in_o the_o presence_n of_o his_o divine_a majesty_n and_o in_o order_n to_o this_o end_n i_o shall_v be_v glad_a to_o have_v all_o the_o fear_n in_o the_o world_n to_o offend_v he_o in_o any_o one_o instant_n of_o my_o whole_a life_n who_o be_v able_a in_o the_o very_a selfsame_a instant_n to_o destroy_v and_o annihilate_v we_o all_o as_o long_o as_o his_o divine_a majesty_n be_v please_v with_o we_o there_o be_v no_o creature_n who_o can_v stand_v against_o we_o without_o have_v his_o head_n break_v for_o his_o pain_n you_o will_v peradventure_o say_v that_o this_o be_v very_o true_a but_o yet_o now_o on_o the_o other_o side_n where_o shall_v we_o find_v that_o soul_n which_o stand_v so_o straight_o as_o that_o she_o may_v be_v whole_o please_v to_o he_o and_o because_o she_o be_v not_o so_o she_o be_v in_o fear_n i_o answer_v that_o i_o be_o sure_a that_o that_o pure_a and_o innocent_a soul_n be_v none_o of_o i_o which_o indeed_o be_v very_o wretched_a and_o unprofitable_a and_o surcharge_v even_o with_o a_o thousand_o misery_n but_o yet_o still_o we_o have_v this_o comfort_n that_o almighty_a god_n do_v not_o proceed_v with_o such_o rigour_n as_o man_n do_v for_o he_o know_v and_o consider_v our_o frailty_n and_o the_o soul_n have_v way_n of_o understanding_n and_o find_v in_o itself_o by_o great_a conjecture_n whether_o real_o she_o love_v his_o divine_a majesty_n or_o no_o for_o in_o such_o as_o arrive_v once_o to_o this_o state_n our_o love_n to_o he_o be_v not_o now_o a_o kind_n of_o dissemble_a or_o disguise_v love_n as_o it_o use_v sometime_o to_o be_v in_o the_o beginning_n but_o it_o be_v accompany_v with_o so_o great_a impulse_n and_o even_o impetuosity_n of_o desire_n to_o see_v almighty_a god_n as_o i_o shall_v afterward_o declare_v or_o rather_o as_o i_o have_v declare_v already_o and_o all_o thing_n be_v wont_a to_o afflict_v all_o thing_n to_o weary_a &_o tire_v and_o all_o thing_n do_v even_o torment_v she_o unless_o it_o be_v only_a god_n or_o for_o god_n there_o be_v not_o so_o much_o as_o any_o repose_n which_o do_v not_o displease_v she_o because_o she_o find_v herself_o absent_a from_o her_o true_a repose_n and_o so_o it_o falls-out_a to_o be_v very_o evident_a that_o thing_n pass_v not_o here_o in_o a_o dissemble_a way_n it_o have_v happen_v to_o i_o in_o former_a time_n that_o i_o find_v myself_o in_o great_a tribulation_n and_o i_o be_v subject_a to_o many_o detraction_n by_o occasion_n of_o a_o certain_a business_n whereof_o i_o may_v have_v cause_n to_o speak_v afterward_o from_o all_o that_o house_n where_o i_o live_v yea_o and_o from_o my_o order_n and_o i_o be_v afflict_v upon_o many_o accident_n which_o occur_v then_o at_o which_o time_n it_o please_v our_o lord_n to_o utter_v these_o express_a word_n to_o i_o of_o what_o be_v thou_o afraid_a do_v thou_o not_o know_v that_o i_o be_o omnipotent_a i_o will_v accomplish_v all_o that_o which_o i_o have_v promise_v thou_o and_o indeed_o he_o accomplish_v it_o afterward_o very_o well_o but_o even_o instant_o there_o remain_v such_o a_o kind_n of_o strength_n in_o i_o that_o i_o think_v i_o can_v present_o have_v put_v myself_o to_o adventure_v upon_o other_o thing_n though_o they_o shall_v cost_v i_o much_o more_o trouble_n for_o the_o do_v he_o service_n and_o can_v have_v suffer_v also_o much_o more_o for_o he_o and_o this_o very_a self_n same_o thing_n have_v happen_v to_o i_o so_o often_o that_o i_o be_o not_o able_a to_o count_v the_o time_n and_o he_o have_v make_v i_o and_o make_v i_o still_o such_o reprehension_n by_o occasion_n of_o those_o imperfection_n which_o i_o commit_v sometime_o that_o they_o be_v able_a even_o as_o it_o be_v to_o annihilate_v the_o soul_n at_o least_o they_o bring_v so_o much_o in_o their_o company_n as_o that_o she_o be_v mend_v by_o they_o for_o his_o divine_a majesty_n as_o i_o have_v say_v do_v not_o only_o give_v we_o the_o counsel_n but_o the_o remedy_n at_o other_o time_n he_o bring_v back_o to_o i_o the_o memory_n of_o the_o sin_n of_o my_o former_a life_n and_o this_o he_o most_o ordinary_o use_v to_o do_v whensoever_o he_o intend_v to_o vouchsafe_v i_o any_o extraordinary_a favour_n and_o he_o do_v it_o in_o such_o sort_n that_o the_o soul_n discern_v herself_o as_o if_o she_o be_v real_o plant_v at_o the_o very_a day_n of_o the_o last_o universal_a judgement_n and_o the_o truth_n be_v represent_v to_o she_o with_o such_o a_o kind_n of_o perspicuity_n and_o claritie_n that_o she_o know_v not_o what_o to_o do_v with_o herself_o at_o other_o time_n he_o be_v please_v to_o inform_v i_o of_o certain_a danger_n concern_v both_o myself_o and_o other_o about_o thing_n which_o do_v not_o happen_v till_o three_o or_o four_o year_n after_o but_o they_o all_o be_v ever_o fulfil_v and_o some_o of_o they_o may_v also_o be_v name_v if_o there_o be_v cause_n so_o that_o there_o be_v so_o many_o particular_n whereby_o it_o may_v be_v understand_v that_o these_o thing_n be_v of_o almighty_a god_n as_o that_o in_o my_o opinion_n they_o can_v but_o be_v know_v and_o acknowledge_v the_o most_o secure_a proceed_n consist_v in_o that_o such_o a_o person_n do_v not_o fail_v to_o impart_v her_o whole_a soul_n to_o her_o ghostly_a father_n and_o that_o he_o be_v a_o learned_a man_n and_o that_o she_o do_v entire_o obey_v he_o at_o least_o this_o be_v the_o course_n which_o i_o take_v and_o without_o this_o i_o can_v have_v no_o rest_n nor_o be_v it_o indeed_o fit_a that_o we_o woman_n shall_v have_v any_o since_o we_o have_v no_o learning_n and_o there_o can_v be_v no_o hurt_n at_o all_o in_o this_o but_o many_o advantage_n and_o benefit_n as_o our_o lord_n himself_o have_v tell_v i_o many_o time_n i_o say_v many_o time_n i_o have_v once_o a_o ghostly_a father_n who_o mortify_v i_o very_o much_o and_o sometime_o he_o do_v even_o afflict_v i_o and_o bring_v i_o a_o great_a deal_n of_o trouble_n and_o disquiet_v i_o in_o extraordinary_a manner_n and_o yet_o it_o be_v he_o who_o in_o my_o opinion_n do_v i_o the_o most_o good_a of_o they_o all_o and_o though_o i_o love_v he_o very_o much_o yet_o i_o have_v some_o temptation_n to_o leave_v he_o for_o it_o seem_v to_o i_o that_o i_o be_v much_o prejudice_v by_o those_o inconvenience_n which_o he_o be_v wont_a to_o give_v i_o concern_v my_o prayer_n but_o yet_o ever_o when_o i_o be_v determine_v to_o do_v this_o i_o instant_o understand_v that_o i_o be_v to_o forbear_v it_o and_o i_o receive_v such_o a_o reprehension_n from_o our_o lord_n as_o defeat_v and_o as_o it_o be_v annihilate_v i_o more_o than_o all_o that_o which_o my_o ghostly_a father_n can_v
this_o end_n some_o little_a poor_a good_a work_n which_o i_o do_v if_o i_o do_v any_o i_o become_v devote_a to_o some_o saint_n to_o the_o end_n that_o by_o their_o mean_n i_o may_v be_v deliver_v from_o the_o devil_n i_o perform_v the_o devotion_n of_o nine_o day_n i_o recommend_v myself_o to_o saint_n hilarion_n and_o to_o s._n michael_n also_o the_o archangel_n for_o i_o have_v late_o apply_v myself_o to_o he_o for_o this_o purpose_n and_o i_o importune_v also_o mame_v other_o saint_n that_o our_o lord_n may_v be_v please_v by_o their_o intercession_n to_o conduct_v i_o in_o the_o way_n of_o truth_n i_o say_v that_o they_o will_v find_v some_o mean_n to_o perfect_v this_o business_n of_o i_o with_o his_o divine_a majesty_n in_o fine_a after_o the_o end_n of_o two_o year_n which_o both_o i_o and_o other_o person_n have_v whole_o employ_v with_o all_o their_o prayer_n and_o i_o in_o order_n to_o this_o end_n that_o our_o lord_n may_v be_v please_v either_o to_o conduct_v my_o soul_n by_o some_o other_o way_n or_o else_o vouchsafe_v to_o declare_v that_o this_o way_n wherein_o i_o go_v be_v right_a for_o now_o those_o word_n and_o speech_n which_o i_o have_v relate_v that_o our_o lord_n will_v be_v utter_v to_o i_o sometime_o be_v grow_v very_o ordinary_a &_o even_o continual_a that_o chance_v and_o occur_v to_o i_o which_o i_o will_v now_o declare_v as_o i_o be_v in_o prayer_n one_o day_n and_o it_o be_v upon_o the_o festivitie_n of_o the_o glorious_a s._n peter_n i_o see_v stand_v very_o near_o i_o or_o rather_o to_o say_v better_o i_o think_v i_o feel_v for_o indeed_o i_o see_v nothing_o at_o all_o with_o the_o eye_n either_o of_o my_o body_n or_o of_o my_o mind_n that_o christ_n our_o lord_n be_v close_o by_o i_o and_o i_o find_v in_o fine_a that_o it_o be_v he_o in_o my_o opinion_n who_o be_v speak_v to_o i_o but_o now_o i_o who_o be_v extreme_o ignorant_a till_o then_o that_o there_o may_v be_v any_o such_o thing_n in_o the_o world_n as_o such_o a_o vision_n fall_v at_o the_o first_o into_o a_o mighty_a fear_n and_o i_o can_v do_v nothing_o but_o weep_v though_o yet_o through_o his_o give_v i_o assurance_n by_o his_o speak_v but_o one_o only_o word_n i_o find_v myself_o as_o i_o have_v former_o be_v not_o only_o without_o fear_n and_o very_o quiet_a but_o even_o with_o regalo_n and_o delight_n i_o thought_n that_o christ_n jesus_n our_o lord_n go_v ever_o close_o to_o i_o on_o one_o side_n but_o the_o vision_n not_o be_v imaginary_a or_o represent_v in_o any_o form_n i_o perceive_v not_o in_o what_o shape_n he_o be_v but_o as_o for_o his_o be_v ever_o on_o my_o right_a side_n i_o find_v and_o feel_v that_o very_o clear_o and_o that_o he_o be_v the_o witness_n of_o whatsoever_o i_o do_v and_o that_o i_o can_v not_o be_v recollect_v though_o it_o be_v never_o so_o little_a or_o rather_o indeed_o unless_o i_o be_v much_o divert_v or_o distract_v but_o i_o must_v needs_o in_o fine_a understand_v that_o he_o be_v very_o near_o i_o i_o than_o go_v immediate_o to_o my_o ghostly_a father_n be_v sufficient_o vex_v and_o grieved_a that_o i_o must_v let_v he_o know_v it_o he_o ask_v i_o what_o form_n or_o figure_n he_o have_v when_o i_o see_v he_o and_o i_o tell_v he_o that_o i_o have_v not_o see_v he_o upon_o this_o he_o inquire_v then_o how_o i_o know_v that_o it_o be_v christ_n our_o lord_n to_o this_o i_o answer_v that_o i_o know_v no_o more_o but_o that_o i_o can_v not_o possible_o fail_v or_o forbear_v to_o understand_v and_o know_v that_o he_o be_v close_o to_o i_o and_o that_o i_o find_v and_o feel_v it_o plain_o and_o that_o now_o the_o recollection_n of_o my_o soul_n in_o prayer_n of_o quiet_a be_v far_o great_a and_o more_o continual_a &_o that_o the_o effect_n be_v very_o different_a from_o those_o other_o which_o i_o have_v former_o find_v and_o that_o the_o thing_n be_v very_o certain_a and_o clear_a for_o my_o part_n i_o can_v do_v no_o more_o but_o bring_v diverse_a comparison_n whereby_o to_o give_v myself_o to_o be_v understand_v but_o yet_o certain_o in_o my_o opinion_n there_o be_v none_o which_o can_v suit_n very_o well_o to_o express_v this_o kind_n of_o vision_n for_o as_o this_o be_v one_o of_o the_o high_a kind_n as_o i_o be_v tell_v afterward_o by_o a_o certain_a holy_a man_n and_o of_o great_a spirit_n call_v fray_n pedro_n de_fw-fr alcantara_n who_o i_o shall_v mention_v afterward_o more_o at_o large_a and_o the_o same_o have_v be_v also_o tell_v i_o by_o other_o great_a learned_a man_n and_o that_o this_o be_v one_o of_o those_o favour_n where_o the_o devil_n can_v least_o intermeddle_v or_o intrude_v himself_o of_o all_o other_o so_o have_v we_o hear_v no_o word_n or_o term_n at_o all_o wherewith_o to_o declare_v it_o at_o least_o we_o who_o know_v so_o little_a though_o such_o as_o be_v learned_a will_n peradventure_o be_v able_a to_o do_v it_o better_o for_o when_o i_o say_v that_o i_o neither_o see_v this_o with_o the_o eye_n of_o the_o body_n nor_o of_o the_o mind_n 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answer_v i_o and_o that_o many_o time_n but_o yet_o even_o before_o he_o tell_v i_o so_o it_o be_v he_o print_v upon_o my_o understanding_n that_o it_o be_v he_o yea_o and_o even_o before_o this_o he_o tell_v i_o so_o and_o yet_o still_o i_o see_v he_o not_o if_o any_o man_n who_o i_o have_v never_o see_v but_o only_o have_v hear_v news_n of_o he_o shall_v come_v to_o speak_v with_o i_o i_o be_v either_o blind_a or_o in_o the_o dark_a and_o shall_v tell_v i_o who_o he_o be_v i_o shall_v believe_v he_o and_o yet_o i_o can_v not_o so_o
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celestial_a gift_n for_o the_o soul_n find_v herself_o here_o to_o be_v grow_v wise_a upon_o a_o sudden_a and_o that_o the_o mystery_n of_o the_o most_o holy_a trinity_n and_o other_o most_o sublime_a article_n be_v so_o exact_o declare_v to_o she_o that_o there_o be_v not_o any_o theologue_n or_o divine_a in_o the_o world_n with_o who_o she_o may_v not_o adventure_v to_o dispute_v concern_v the_o truth_n of_o those_o high_a point_n the_o soul_n remain_v here_o in_o such_o a_o amazement_n that_o some_o one_o such_o favour_n as_o this_o suffice_v to_o work_v a_o total_a change_n in_o she_o and_o to_o make_v her_o love_n nothing_o but_o only_o he_o who_o without_o any_o labour_n at_o all_o of_o she_o have_v make_v her_o capable_a of_o so_o unspeakable_a blessing_n and_o to_o who_o he_o communicate_v his_o secret_n and_o who_o he_o treat_v with_o argument_n of_o so_o great_a and_o dear_a friendship_n and_o love_n that_o they_o soul_n endure_v not_o so_o much_o as_o to_o be_v write_v for_o 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please_v our_o lord_n to_o conduct_v my_o soul_n that_o be_v the_o very_a thing_n which_o they_o have_v command_v i_o to_o write_v return_v therefore_o now_o to_o this_o manner_n of_o understand_v these_o kind_n of_o thing_n i_o think_v our_o lord_n be_v please_v that_o by_o all_o mean_n this_o soul_n of_o we_o shall_v have_v some_o notice_n here_o even_o of_o that_o which_o pass_v in_o heaven_n and_o that_o as_o soul_n do_v there_o understand_v one_o another_o real_o without_o speak_v which_o for_o my_o part_n i_o never_o know_v before_o and_o this_o be_v most_o certain_o true_a till_o our_o
lord_n through_o his_o goodness_n make_v i_o see_v it_o and_o show_v it_o i_o in_o a_o certain_a rapt_v of_o i_o so_o also_o shall_v it_o be_v here_o in_o this_o world_n and_o that_o so_o almighty_a god_n and_o the_o soul_n may_v be_v able_a to_o understand_v one_o another_o and_o that_o upon_o this_o sole_a cause_n and_o reason_n in_o regard_n that_o his_o divine_a majesty_n be_v please_v that_o they_o shall_v do_v so_o without_o any_o other_o artifice_n or_o mean_n that_o so_o the_o mutual_a love_n which_o these_o two_o dear_a friend_n carry_v to_o one_o another_o may_v be_v give_v by_o they_o to_o be_v mutual_o understand_v just_o so_o as_o in_o this_o world_n when_o two_o person_n love_v one_o another_o very_o dear_o and_o be_v endue_v with_o a_o good_a understanding_n and_o wit_n they_o seem_v able_a to_o understand_v themselves_o together_o even_o without_o so_o much_o as_o sign_n and_o by_o only_a look_v well_o upon_o one_o another_o thus_o ought_v it_o to_o be_v in_o our_o 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himself_o vouchsafe_v to_o tell_v i_o that_o they_o will_v so_o take_v care_n of_o i_o as_o that_o i_o may_v not_o be_v deceive_v and_o according_o i_o have_v often_o see_v and_o that_o very_o clear_o though_o yet_o not_o by_o way_n of_o any_o imaginary_a vision_n or_o represent_v person_n these_o two_o glorious_a saint_n who_o be_v so_o much_o my_o good_a patron_n stand_v by_o i_o upon_o my_o left_a hand_n and_o that_o after_o a_o very_a evident_a manner_n but_o now_o this_o order_n of_o those_o other_o to_o make_v sign_n of_o contempt_n and_o scorn_v whensoever_o i_o have_v that_o vision_n of_o our_o bless_a lord_n do_v put_v i_o to_o a_o mighty_a kind_n of_o pain_n for_o when_o i_o see_v he_o present_a before_o my_o eye_n it_o be_v impossible_a for_o i_o to_o believe_v that_o it_o be_v the_o devil_n though_o they_o shall_v have_v tear_v i_o into_o a_o thousand_o piece_n to_o make_v i_o do_v it_o and_o therefore_o it_o be_v a_o strange_a kind_n of_o penance_n which_o they_o put_v 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that_o state_n and_o condition_n wherein_o then_o it_o be_v but_o now_o the_o thing_n be_v give_v over_o all_o that_o former_a imputation_n be_v confirm_v namely_o that_o it_o be_v nothing_o but_o a_o impertinency_n of_o woman_n and_o their_o murmur_n come_v particular_o upon_o i_o though_o till_o that_o time_n the_o provincial_n have_v command_v it_o to_o be_v do_v in_o the_o mean_a while_n i_o grow_v to_o be_v very_o ill_o belove_v in_o the_o monastery_n because_o i_o go_v about_o to_o make_v a_o new_a one_o which_o may_v be_v of_o more_o strict_a enclosure_n for_o they_o say_v that_o i_o affront_v they_o by_o it_o and_o that_o god_n may_v be_v as_o well_o serve_v there_o and_o that_o there_o be_v better_a among_o they_o than_o myself_o and_o that_o now_o they_o discover_v well_o enough_o that_o i_o carry_v no_o true_a love_n to_o that_o house_n that_o it_o have_v be_v much_o better_o do_v to_o procure_v to_o get_v revenue_n and_o rent_n for_o that_o place_n then_o for_o any_o 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mortification_n as_o if_o i_o have_v do_v somewhat_o against_o his_o will_n but_o it_o seem_v our_o lord_n be_v please_v that_o i_o shall_v be_v in_o some_o affliction_n even_o by_o occasion_n of_o that_o which_o be_v most_o tender_a and_o dear_a to_o i_o for_o whilst_o i_o be_v in_o this_o multitude_n of_o persecution_n when_o i_o expect_v that_o some_o kind_n of_o comfort_n will_v be_v come_v towards_o i_o he_o write_v i_o a_o letter_n to_o this_o effect_n that_o proceed_n now_o he_o hope_v i_o see_v by_o what_o occur_v that_o all_o have_v be_v nothing_o but_o a_o dream_n that_o i_o shall_v do_v well_o to_o reform_v myself_o hereafter_o so_o far_o as_o not_o to_o pretend_v to_o meddle_v any_o more_o with_o any_o business_n nor_o to_o be_v talk_v any_o more_o of_o this_o in_o particular_a for_o that_o i_o can_v not_o but_o see_v well_o enough_o what_o a_o scandal_n be_v grow_v upon_o it_o and_o other_o thing_n he_o also_o say_v which_o do_v all_o serve_v for_o nothing_o at_o all_o 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often_o please_v to_o comfort_n and_o strengthen_v i_o though_o i_o need_v not_o stand_v here_o to_o relate_v it_o and_o he_o tell_v i_o also_o then_o that_o i_o shall_v not_o vex_v myself_o that_o i_o have_v great_o serve_v his_o divine_a majesty_n in_o that_o business_n and_o not_o offend_v he_o at_o all_o that_o for_o the_o present_a i_o shall_v do_v what_o my_o ghostly_a father_n have_v command_v i_o in_o hold_v my_o peace_n till_o it_o shall_v be_v fit_a to_o renew_v the_o business_n and_o in_o the_o mean_a time_n i_o remain_v full_a of_o contentment_n and_o consolation_n and_o i_o hold_v all_o that_o persecution_n for_o nothing_o which_o have_v come_v upon_o i_o till_o then_o but_o now_o by_o this_o mean_n i_o be_v teach_v by_o our_o bless_a lord_n what_o a_o very_a great_a benefit_n it_o be_v to_o endure_v trouble_n and_o persecution_n for_o his_o sake_n for_o so_o much_o be_v the_o love_n of_o almighty_a god_n increase_v in_o my_o soul_n by_o this_o mean_n as_o be_v also_o 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believe_v it_o myself_o but_o i_o will_v take_v no_o knowledge_n of_o that_o because_o i_o be_v resolve_v not_o to_o swerve_v from_o what_o i_o have_v be_v command_v by_o my_o ghostly_a father_n the_o dominican_n negotiate_v also_o the_o business_n together_o with_o my_o companion_n and_o friend_n and_o they_o write_v about_o it_o to_o rome_n and_o make_v their_o proposition_n there_o and_o the_o while_n do_v the_o devil_n here_o by_o carry_v thing_n from_o one_o person_n to_o another_o procure_v to_o make_v it_o know_v that_o i_o have_v have_v some_o revelation_n in_o this_o business_n upon_o this_o some_o come_v to_o tell_v i_o with_o a_o great_a deal_n of_o apprehension_n and_o fear_v that_o i_o shall_v do_v well_o to_o look_v to_o myself_o and_o that_o the_o time_n be_v strict_a and_o shrewd_a and_o that_o perhaps_o man_n may_v lay_v some_o thing_n to_o my_o charge_n and_o go_v on_o even_o to_o the_o inquisitour_n by_o way_n of_o complaint_n but_o this_o i_o confess_v make_v i_o sport_n and_o i_o begin_v to_o laugh_v at_o it_o for_o it_o be_v never_o my_o case_n to_o be_v afraid_a of_o any_o such_o thing_n as_o this_o as_o know_v very_o well_o of_o myself_o that_o in_o all_o thing_n which_o concern_v catholic_n faith_n yea_o even_o to_o the_o least_o ceremony_n of_o the_o church_n i_o be_v total_o for_o it_o and_o that_o also_o for_o the_o least_o word_n of_o holy_a scripture_n i_o will_v expose_v myself_o a_o thousand_o time_n to_o death_n and_o therefore_o i_o desire_v they_o not_o to_o trouble_v themselves_o concern_v i_o in_o this_o point_n and_o that_o my_o soul_n be_v miserable_a enough_o and_o
kind_n of_o inclination_n to_o know_v in_o what_o condition_n or_o state_n that_o soul_n be_v for_o i_o desire_v that_o he_o may_v be_v a_o very_a great_a servant_n of_o almighty_a god_n i_o rise_v then_o from_o sit_v where_o i_o be_v that_o so_o i_o may_v be_v go_v towards_o he_o but_o yet_o have_v be_v already_o recollect_v in_o prayer_n it_o seem_v to_o i_o then_o afterward_o that_o it_o will_v be_v no_o better_o then_o lose_v time_n and_o what_o forsooth_o have_v i_o to_o do_v with_o he_o and_o so_o i_o then_o dispose_v myself_o to_o sit_v down_o again_o and_o as_o i_o now_o remember_v i_o do_v the_o very_a same_o thing_n no_o less_o than_o three_o several_a time_n in_o fine_a the_o good_a angel_n be_v strong_a than_o the_o ill_a and_o i_o go_v and_o require_v he_o to_o be_v call_v and_o so_o he_o come_v i_o than_o begin_v to_o ask_v he_o diverse_a question_n as_o he_o do_v i_o because_o many_o year_n have_v slip_v away_o since_o we_o meet_v last_o concern_v the_o several_a life_n 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extremity_n of_o appetite_n that_o i_o know_v not_o almost_o in_o those_o case_n what_o to_o do_v with_o myself_o and_o though_o it_o be_v very_o true_a that_o i_o will_v fain_o have_v all_o the_o world_n do_v he_o service_n yet_o i_o desire_v with_o very_o great_a impulse_n and_o even_o impetuositie_n that_o the_o person_n who_o please_v i_o best_o shall_v do_v it_o most_o and_o so_o i_o often_o use_v to_o importune_v our_o lord_n extreme_o in_o their_o behalf_n but_o as_o for_o that_o religious_a man_n of_o who_o i_o be_v speak_v he_o beseech_v i_o that_o i_o will_v recommend_v he_o earnest_o to_o almighty_a god_n but_o that_o be_v more_o than_o need_v for_o already_o i_o be_v so_o go_v with_o the_o man_n that_o i_o can_v not_o possible_o do_v otherwise_o and_o so_o i_o go_v to_o the_o place_n where_o i_o be_v accustom_v to_o put_v myself_o in_o prayer_n all_o alone_a and_o be_v then_o in_o deep_a recollection_n i_o begin_v to_o deal_v with_o our_o bless_a lord_n and_o it_o be_v in_o a_o stile_n so_o very_o familiar_a that_o it_o be_v even_o half_a foolish_a for_o i_o treat_v with_o he_o many_o time_n without_o know_v almost_o distinct_o what_o i_o say_v for_o then_o it_o be_v not_o so_o proper_o my_o person_n as_o my_o love_n which_o speak_v and_o the_o soul_n be_v so_o alienate_v even_o from_o herself_o that_o i_o scarce_o discern_v the_o difference_n which_o then_o there_o be_v between_o almighty_a god_n and_o i_o for_o the_o great_a love_n which_o my_o soul_n know_v that_o his_o divine_a majesty_n bear_v she_o make_v she_o forget_v what_o she_o be_v in_o herself_o as_o conceave_a that_o she_o be_v then_o in_o he_o and_o so_o as_o if_o both_o she_o and_o he_o be_v one_o and_o the_o selfsame_a thing_n without_o division_n or_o distinction_n she_o utter_v but_o impertinency_n and_o roaving_n i_o remember_v that_o i_o tell_v he_o thus_o much_o after_o i_o have_v beg_v of_o he_o with_o abundance_n of_o tear_n that_o the_o soul_n of_o that_o religious_a man_n may_v apply_v itself_o to_o his_o service_n in_o great_a earnest_n that_o although_o i_o hold_v he_o already_o for_o good_a yet_o that_o will_v not_o serve_v my_o turn_n for_o i_o must_v have_v he_o very_o good_a and_o according_o i_o say_v further_o thus_o in_o plain_a term_n o_o lord_n thou_o must_v not_o deny_v i_o this_o favour_n but_o consider_v that_o this_o man_n will_v be_v very_o fit_a to_o make_v afreind_n for_o we_o both_o o_o great_a humanity_n and_o bounty_n of_o almighty_a god_n nor_o do_v he_o so_o much_o consider_v our_o word_n but_o the_o desire_n and_o affection_n wherewith_o they_o be_v speak_v but_o now_o how_o can_v he_o come_v to_o endure_v that_o such_o a_o miserable_a creature_n as_o i_o shall_v speak_v to_o his_o divine_a majesty_n with_o so_o much_o boldness_n but_o let_v he_o be_v bless_v for_o ever_o the_o while_n i_o remember_v well_o that_o in_o those_o hour_n of_o prayer_n wherein_o i_o exercise_v myself_o that_o night_n our_o lord_n give_v i_o a_o great_a affliction_n by_o my_o doubt_n whether_o i_o be_v in_o his_o favour_n but_o now_o i_o desire_v not_o so_o much_o to_o know_v that_o as_o i_o do_v even_o desire_v to_o die_v rather_o than_o to_o continue_v in_o such_o a_o life_n as_o wherein_o i_o may_v not_o be_v sure_a whether_o i_o be_v dead_a or_o no._n for_o it_o be_v not_o possible_a for_o i_o to_o endure_v a_o sharp_a death_n then_o to_o think_v that_o i_o have_v offend_v almighty_a god_n and_o this_o pain_n put_v i_o into_o such_o straits_n that_o be_v all_o regaled_a as_o i_o be_v and_o even_o melt_v and_o dissolve_v in_o tear_n i_o humble_o beseech_v his_o divine_a majesty_n that_o he_o will_v not_o permit_v it_o and_o so_o i_o come_v then_o to_o understand_v that_o i_o may_v well_o be_v comfort_v and_o confide_v that_o i_o be_v in_o state_n of_o grace_n for_o that_o such_o love_n of_o almighty_a god_n and_o the_o impart_v of_o such_o favour_n and_o feeling_n as_o his_o divine_a majesty_n vouchsafe_v to_o i_o be_v not_o compatible_a with_o any_o such_o soul_n as_o shall_v be_v in_o mortal_a sinne._n but_o in_o the_o mean_a time_n i_o grow_v into_o a_o kind_n of_o assure_a hope_n that_o our_o lord_n will_v grant_v the_o thing_n to_o that_o other_o person_n which_o i_o humble_o beg_v at_o his_o hand_n he_o command_v i_o also_o to_o deliver_v certain_a word_n to_o he_o but_o at_o this_o indeed_o i_o be_v trouble_v much_o as_o not_o know_v how_o i_o shall_v be_v able_a to_o utter_v they_o for_o the_o point_n of_o carry_v a_o message_n to_o a_o three_o person_n in_o such_o sort_n as_o i_o be_v say_v be_v a_o thing_n which_o do_v always_o afflict_v i_o especial_o when_o i_o know_v not_o how_o it_o will_v be_v take_v or_o whether_o the_o person_n will_v not_o laugh_v at_o i_o for_o my_o labour_n this_o put_v i_o to_o a_o great_a deal_n of_o trouble_n but_o yet_o in_o fine_a i_o think_v i_o be_v so_o far_o persuade_v as_o to_o promise_v almighty_a god_n that_o i_o will_v not_o forbear_v to_o impart_v they_o and_o through_o the_o great_a confusion_n and_o shame_n wherein_o i_o be_v i_o hart_n write_v they_o and_o so_o deliver_v they_o to_o he_o and_o now_o this_o well_o appear_v to_o be_v a_o action_n of_o almighty_a god_n by_o the_o great_a effect_n it_o wrought_v for_o he_o resolve_v to_o give_v himself_o to_o prayer_n after_o very_o a_o serious_a manner_n though_o yet_o he_o do_v it_o not_o so_o very_o soon_o but_o yet_o our_o lord_n design_v to_o make_v he_o whole_o his_o own_o be_v please_v to_o declare_v certain_a truth_n to_o he_o by_o my_o mean_n
desire_v for_o four_o or_o five_o year_n together_o before_o her_o end_n and_o then_o she_o die_v upon_o a_o sudden_a without_o be_v so_o much_o as_o visit_v and_o much_o less_o confess_v but_o the_o happiness_n be_v that_o according_a to_o the_o custom_n which_o she_o have_v hold_v there_o be_v little_o more_o than_o eight_o day_n expire_v after_o her_o last_o confession_n this_o make_v i_o a_o very_a glad_a woman_n when_o i_o know_v of_o her_o death_n and_o she_o stay_v a_o very_a short_a time_n in_o purgatory_n nor_o be_v it_o yet_o above_o eight_o day_n since_o our_o lord_n appear_v to_o i_o after_o i_o have_v receive_v the_o bless_a sacrament_n and_o be_v please_v to_o let_v i_o see_v how_o he_o carry_v my_o sister_n soul_n into_o glory_n in_o all_o these_o year_n from_o the_o time_n when_o the_o particular_a concern_v she_o be_v tell_v i_o till_o her_o very_a death_n i_o forget_v not_o that_o which_o have_v be_v give_v i_o to_o be_v understand_v concern_v she_o as_o neither_o also_o do_v my_o companion_n for_o as_o soon_o as_o she_o have_v hear_v of_o my_o sister_n death_n she_o come_v towards_o i_o with_o much_o admiration_n to_o see_v how_o all_o have_v be_v fulfil_v let_v our_o lord_n be_v praise_v for_o ever_o who_o vouchsafe_v to_o take_v such_o care_n of_o soul_n to_o the_o end_n that_o they_o may_v not_o perish_v amen_n the_o five_o and_o thirty_o chapter_n she_o prosecute_v the_o same_o discourse_n about_o the_o foundation_n of_o this_o house_n of_o our_o glorious_a father_n s._n joseph_n she_o speak_v of_o the_o degree_n by_o which_o our_o lord_n come_v to_o appoint_v that_o holy_a poverty_n shall_v be_v ordain_v there_o and_o of_o the_o cause_n why_o she_o come_v from_o that_o lady_n with_o who_o she_o be_v and_o of_o other_o thing_n also_o which_o succeed_v but_o now_o whilst_o i_o be_v with_o that_o lady_n of_o who_o i_o have_v speak_v and_o with_o who_o i_o have_v remain_v more_o than_o half_a a_o year_n our_o lord_n do_v so_o ordain_v that_o a_o certain_a holy_a woman_n of_o our_o order_n fall_v out_o to_o come_v from_o a_o place_n which_o be_v no_o less_o than_o threescore_o and_o then_o league_n off_o from_o this_o and_o to_o arrive_v here_o and_o to_o lengthen_v her_o way_n by_o some_o league_n on_o purpose_n to_o speak_v with_o i_o our_o lord_n have_v move_v she_o to_o this_o in_o the_o selfsame_a year_n when_o he_o move_v i_o to_o make_v another_o monastery_n of_o this_o order_n and_o as_o soon_o as_o she_o have_v entertain_v this_o desire_n she_o sell_v whatsoever_o she_o possess_v and_o go_v herself_o barefoot_a to_o rome_n to_o get_v and_o bring-away_a the_o dispatch_n of_o this_o business_n this_o woman_n be_v a_o person_n of_o much_o penance_n and_o prayer_n and_o our_o lord_n do_v she_o many_o favour_n and_o our_o b._n lady_n appear_v to_o she_o and_o require_v she_o still_o to_o do_v what_o she_o be_v do_v and_o she_o serve_v our_o bless_a lord_n so_o incomparable_o beyond_o any_o thing_n that_o i_o can_v do_v that_o i_o be_v in_o confusion_n even_o to_o appear_v in_o her_o presence_n she_o show_v i_o the_o dispatch_n which_o she_o bring_v from_o rome_n and_o in_o those_o fifteen_o day_n which_o she_o stay_v with_o i_o we_o take_v order_n how_o we_o will_v make_v these_o monastery_n and_o till_o i_o have_v speak_v with_o she_o it_o never_o have_v come_v to_o my_o knowledge_n that_o our_o rule_n till_o it_o be_v relax_v do_v ever_o command_v that_o none_o of_o the_o religious_a house_n of_o our_o order_n shall_v have_v any_o propriety_n in_o any_o good_n nor_o have_v myself_o have_v any_o purpose_n to_o find_v any_o monastery_n at_o all_o without_o revenue_n for_o my_o intention_n be_v that_o we_o shall_v be_v free_a from_o the_o care_n of_o procure_v any_o such_o thing_n as_o we_o may_v be_v in_o necessity_n to_o use_v but_o this_o bless_a woman_n have_v be_v instruct_v by_o our_o lord_n be_v grow_v to_o understand_v that_o truth_n very_o well_o without_o be_v able_a so_o much_o as_o to_o read_v of_o which_o truth_n i_o be_v ignorant_a even_o after_o have_v take_v so_o much_o pain_n to_o read_v over_o the_o constitution_n of_o our_o order_n and_o as_o soon_o as_o she_o acquaint_v i_o with_o her_o purpose_n i_o like_v it_o well_o though_o yet_o i_o be_v afraid_a that_o it_o will_v not_o be_v yield_v to_o but_o that_o they_o will_v say_v perhaps_o that_o these_o be_v but_o impertinency_n and_o wish_v that_o i_o will_v not_o do_v any_o thing_n whereby_o other_o may_v be_v put_v to_o suffer_v through_o my_o fault_n though_o yet_o in_o very_a deed_n if_o i_o have_v be_v alone_o i_o will_v not_o have_v be_v detain_v one_o minute_n from_o do_v it_o since_o it_o will_v be_v a_o regalo_n to_o my_o soul_n to_o observe_v &_o follow_v the_o counsel_n of_o jesus-christ_n our_o lord_n for_o real_o his_o divine_a majesty_n have_v already_o give_v i_o great_a desire_n to_o observe_v poverty_n so_o that_o for_o my_o part_n i_o make_v no_o doubt_n but_o that_o this_o be_v best_a yea_o and_o i_o have_v long_o desire_v that_o it_o may_v be_v possible_a and_o compatible_a with_o my_o state_n that_o i_o may_v go_v beg_v my_o bread_n for_o the_o love_n of_o god_n without_o have_v so_o much_o as_o a_o house_n or_o any_o thing_n else_o but_o only_o i_o be_v in_o fear_n that_o if_o our_o bless_a lord_n shall_v not_o give_v the_o selfsame_a desire_n to_o other_o which_o he_o give_v to_o i_o they_o will_v live_v perhaps_o with_o disgust_n and_o consequent_o that_o it_o may_v prove_v a_o cause_n of_o some_o distraction_n or_o division_n for_o i_o see_v that_o there_o be_v some_o poor_a monastery_n which_o live_v not_o with_o much_o recollection_n and_o i_o consider_v not_o that_o their_o not_o be_v recollect_v be_v the_o cause_n of_o their_o be_v so_o poor_a and_o not_o their_o poverty_n the_o cause_n of_o their_o want_n of_o recollection_n for_o distraction_n make_v they_o not_o more_o rich_a nor_o be_v ever_o almighty_a god_n want_v to_o such_o as_o serve_v he_o in_o fine_a my_o faith_n be_v weak_a which_o that_o of_o this_o servant_n of_o god_n be_v not_o but_o now_o i_o who_o will_v be_v take_v the_o opinion_n of_o so_o many_o person_n for_o every_o thing_n which_o i_o be_v to_o do_v can_v find_v no_o body_n of_o this_o mind_n no_o nor_o even_o my_o ghostly_a father_n himself_o nor_o yet_o those_o other_o learned_a man_n who_o i_o consult_v in_o the_o case_n but_o they_o bring_v i_o so_o many_o reason_n against_o it_o that_o i_o know_v not_o which_o way_n to_o turn_v myself_o for_o i_o for_o my_o part_n who_o know_v already_o that_o it_o be_v the_o rule_n of_o the_o order_n and_o know_v also_o that_o it_o be_v a_o point_n of_o more_o perfection_n can_v not_o persuade_v myself_o to_o have_v revenue_n and_o though_o sometime_o they_o convince_v i_o towards_o their_o opinion_n yet_o still_o when_o i_o return_v to_o prayer_n and_o consider_v christ_n our_o lord_n so_o very_o poor_a and_o naked_a upon_o the_o cross_n i_o be_v not_o able_a so_o much_o as_o to_o find_v patience_n for_o be_v rich_a but_o i_o humble_o beseech_v he_o with_o tear_n to_o ordain_v thing_n in_o such_o sort_n that_o i_o may_v be_v poor_a like_v he_o and_o i_o find_v so_o many_o inconvenience_n even_o in_o have_v revenue_n and_o find_v it_o to_o be_v so_o great_a a_o cause_n of_o disquiet_n yea_o and_o even_o of_o distraction_n also_o that_o i_o do_v nothing_o but_o dispute_v the_o business_n with_o those_o learned_a man_n i_o write_v also_o about_o it_o to_o that_o religious_a man_n of_o s._n dominick_n order_n who_o assist_v we_o and_o he_o send_v i_o two_o sheet_n of_o paper_n which_o he_o have_v write_v by_o way_n of_o contradiction_n to_o i_o and_o he_o ground_v himself_o in_o theology_n for_o the_o persuade_v i_o not_o to_o do_v it_o yea_o and_o he_o tell_v i_o that_o he_o have_v study_v the_o point_n very_o well_o to_o which_o i_o answer_v he_o that_o for_o not_o follow_v my_o vocation_n and_o for_o not_o perform_v the_o vow_n which_o i_o have_v make_v of_o poverty_n and_o embrace_v the_o counsel_n of_o christ_n our_o lord_n in_o all_o perfection_n i_o mean_v not_o to_o make_v use_n of_o his_o theology_n nor_o of_o his_o learning_n and_o therefore_o that_o in_o this_o case_n he_o may_v be_v please_v to_o excuse_v i_o for_o my_o part_n i_o be_v very_o glad_a when_o i_o find_v any_o creature_n who_o will_v help_v i_o and_o the_o lady_n with_o who_o i_o be_v assist_v i_o particular_o herein_o there_o be_v other_o also_o who_o tell_v i_o instant_o at_o the_o first_o that_o they_o like_v it_o well_o but_o afterward_o when_o they_o consider_v it_o better_o they_o
find_v so_o many_o inconvenience_n in_o it_o that_o they_o be_v earnest_a in_o persuade_v i_o not_o to_o proceed_v therein_o but_o now_o i_o tell_v they_o heerupon_o that_o if_o they_o change_v their_o opinion_n so_o soon_o i_o will_v hold_v myself_o fast_o to_o the_o first_o at_o this_o time_n upon_o my_o entreaty_n and_o because_o this_o lady_n have_v never_o see_v that_o holy_a man_n fray_n pedro_n de_fw-fr alcantara_n our_o lord_n be_v please_v that_o he_o shall_v come_v to_o her_o house_n and_o he_o be_v so_o great_a a_o lover_n of_o poverty_n and_o have_v observe_v and_o practise_v it_o so_o many_o year_n be_v not_o ignorant_a of_o the_o riches_n which_o it_o contain_v and_o so_o he_o assist_v i_o much_o and_o command_v i_o that_o i_o shall_v by_o no_o mean_n forbear_v to_o carrie-on_a my_o desire_n and_o now_o through_o his_o opinion_n and_o help_v he_o be_v a_o person_n who_o can_v best_o give_v counsel_n in_o it_o as_o understand_v the_o matter_n in_o hand_n by_o long_a experience_n i_o resolve_v that_o i_o will_v go_v seek_v no_o further_o and_o be_v one_o day_n recommend_v the_o matter_n earnest_o to_o christ_n our_o lord_n it_o please_v he_o to_o tell_v i_o express_o that_o i_o shall_v by_o no_o mean_n forbear_v to_o make_v the_o monastery_n poor_a that_o this_o be_v both_o his_o father_n will_n and_o his_o and_o that_o he_o will_v help_v i_o in_o it_o now_o there_o be_v so_o great_a effect_n hereof_o in_o a_o rapt_v which_o i_o have_v that_o i_o can_v by_o no_o mean_n doubt_n but_o that_o it_o be_v of_o almighty_a god_n another_o time_n he_o tell_v i_o that_o there_o be_v confusion_n in_o have_v revenue_n and_o he_o say_v also_o other_o thing_n in_o praise_n of_o poverty_n assure_v i_o that_o no_o such_o thing_n as_o be_v necessary_a for_o the_o life_n of_o man_n shall_v ever_o be_v want_v to_o such_o as_o serve_v he_o of_o which_o want_n as_o i_o be_v say_v i_o never_o be_v in_o fear_n for_o my_o part_n our_o lord_n do_v also_o turn_v the_o hart_n of_o the_o religious_a man_n of_o s._n dominick_n order_n of_o who_o i_o say_v that_o he_o write_v to_o forbid_v i_o to_o make_v the_o monastery_n without_o revenue_n and_o now_o i_o be_v very_o well_o please_v upon_o the_o understanding_n of_o this_o and_o upon_o have_v also_o get_v some_o other_o vote_n i_o think_v i_o possess_v all_o the_o riches_n in_o the_o world_n by_o resolve_v to_o live_v on_o alm_n for_o the_o love_n of_o our_o lord_n about_o this_o time_n do_v my_o provincial_n discharge_v his_o commandment_n under_o obedience_n which_o he_o have_v impose_v upon_o i_o for_o stay_v there_o and_o leave_v it_o in_o my_o own_o choice_n either_o to_o return_v or_o else_o to_o stay_v for_o a_o certain_a time_n but_o there_o be_v now_o a_o election_n of_o a_o prioress_n to_o be_v make_v in_o our_o monastery_n and_o they_o advertise_v i_o that_o there_o be_v many_o who_o desire_v to_o impose_v that_o charge_n upon_o i_o whereof_o the_o only_o think_v be_v of_o so_o great_a torment_n to_o i_o that_o i_o can_v easy_o have_v resolve_v myself_o to_o endure_v any_o other_o martyrdom_n in_o the_o whole_a world_n for_o the_o love_n of_o god_n but_o by_o no_o mean_n persuade_v myself_o to_o this_o for_o beside_o the_o great_a trouble_n in_o regard_n that_o they_o be_v so_o very_a many_o in_o the_o house_n which_o point_n i_o never_o like_v and_o for_o other_o reason_n also_o which_o do_v occur_v beside_o that_o i_o never_o love_v to_o have_v office_n but_o do_v ever_o refuse_v they_o all_o it_o seem_v to_o i_o that_o it_o be_v to_o put_v my_o conscience_n itself_o in_o great_a hazard_n and_o so_o i_o bless_v almighty_a god_n for_o my_o not_o be_v present_a in_o the_o place_n &_o i_o write_v also_o to_o some_o friend_n of_o i_o that_o they_o will_v not_o give_v i_o their_o vote_n but_o when_o now_o i_o be_v so_o much_o please_v not_o to_o find_v myself_o there_o in_o that_o noise_n our_o lord_n tell_v i_o that_o i_o shall_v by_o no_o mean_n forbear_v to_o go_v and_o that_o since_o i_o desire_v a_o cross_n there_o be_v now_o a_o good_a great_a one_o provide_v for_o i_o and_o that_o i_o must_v not_o throw_v it_o away_o but_o go_v on_o with_o resolution_n and_o courage_n and_o that_o he_o will_v help_v i_o and_o therefore_o that_o i_o must_v instant_o go_v at_o this_o i_o be_v mighty_o trouble_v and_o do_v nothing_o but_o weep_v for_o i_o think_v it_o have_v be_v the_o cross_n of_o be_v superior_a and_o as_o i_o be_v say_v before_o i_o can_v not_o persuade_v myself_o that_o this_o can_v possible_o be_v good_a for_o my_o soul_n in_o any_o kind_n nor_o can_v i_o find_v any_o reason_n at_o all_o to_o induce_v i_o to_o it_o i_o relate_v all_o this_o story_n to_o my_o ghostly_a father_n and_o he_o command_v i_o to_o be_v go_v for_o it_o be_v evident_o of_o more_o perfection_n to_o do_v so_o but_o only_o because_o the_o heat_n be_v great_a i_o may_v yet_o stay_v where_o i_o be_v some_o few_o day_n for_o fear_n lest_o else_o the_o journey_n may_v do_v i_o harm_n and_o that_o in_o substance_n it_o will_v suffice_v if_o i_o be_v there_o when_o the_o election_n shall_v be_v make_v but_o our_o bless_a lord_n have_v order_v thing_n otherwise_o the_o business_n of_o my_o journey_n be_v instant_o to_o be_v dispatch_v and_o do_v for_o the_o restlessness_n which_o i_o have_v in_o myself_o be_v very_o great_a together_o with_o my_o even_o want_v power_n to_o make_v my_o prayer_n and_o it_o seem_v also_o to_o i_o withal_o that_o i_o fall_v short_a in_o the_o performance_n of_o what_o our_o bless_a lord_n have_v express_o command_v i_o and_o the_o while_n i_o do_v but_o pass_v my_o time_n there_o in_o ease_n and_o pleasure_n that_o it_o may_v seem_v as_o if_o i_o have_v no_o mind_n at_o all_o to_o labour_v and_o suffer_v and_o that_o all_o be_v upon_o the_o matter_n but_o talk_v whensoever_o there_o grow_v to_o be_v question_n of_o serve_v almighty_a god_n for_o else_o i_o be_v able_a to_o be_v where_o it_o be_v more_o perfection_n for_o i_o to_o find_v myself_o why_o do_v i_o forbear_v to_o effect_v it_o and_o if_o i_o shall_v die_v by_o the_o way_n in_o god_n name_n let_v i_o die_v but_o in_o the_o mean_a time_n beside_o all_o the_o rest_n i_o find_v myself_o with_o a_o great_a press_v upon_o my_o very_a hart_n and_o our_o lord_n have_v whole_o deprive_v i_o of_o all_o kind_n of_o gust_n in_o my_o prayer_n in_o a_o word_n i_o be_v bring_v to_o such_o a_o condition_n as_o that_o now_o i_o be_v in_o a_o great_a deal_n of_o torment_n and_o i_o humble_o pray_v the_o lady_n where_o i_o be_v that_o she_o will_v allow_v i_o her_o leave_n to_o be_v go_v for_o already_o my_o ghostly_a father_n when_o he_o find_v i_o to_o be_v in_o that_o case_n will_v i_o also_o to_o begin_v my_o journey_n and_o our_o lord_n have_v also_o move_v he_o as_o well_o as_o i_o but_o the_o ladic_n have_v so_o great_a a_o sense_n of_o trouble_n for_o my_o departure_n that_o the_o same_o grow_v also_o to_o be_v another_o torment_n to_o i_o for_o she_o speak_v of_o how_o much_o trouble_v it_o have_v cost_v she_o to_o obtain_v this_o favour_n of_o leave_n at_o the_o hand_n of_o the_o provincial_n by_o mean_n of_o a_o great_a deal_n of_o importunity_n and_o real_o i_o hold_v it_o for_o a_o kind_n of_o very_o strange_a thing_n that_o she_o will_v be_v content_a to_o give_v way_n herein_o consider_v how_o very_o much_o she_o be_v trouble_v at_o it_o save_v only_o that_o i_o consider_v she_o as_o a_o very_a great_a servant_n of_o almighty_a god_n and_o so_o i_o tell_v she_o once_o that_o my_o go_n import_v his_o service_n much_o with_o many_o other_o thing_n of_o that_o kind_n and_o let_v she_o also_o know_v that_o it_o be_v possible_a that_o i_o may_v return_v to_o see_v she_o again_o she_o grow_v with_o trouble_n enough_o to_o be_v yet_o content_a at_o last_o that_o i_o shall_v go_v but_o now_o i_o for_o my_o own_o part_n have_v no_o difficulty_n at_o all_o in_o do_v it_o for_o when_o once_o i_o come_v to_o understand_v that_o the_o thing_n be_v of_o more_o perfection_n and_o that_o it_o more_o import_v the_o service_n of_o almighty_a god_n that_o i_o shall_v go_v then_o stay_v i_o do_v by_o the_o contentment_n which_o it_o give_v i_o to_o content_v he_o pass_v easy_o over_o the_o pain_n of_o leave_v that_o lady_n who_o i_o see_v so_o much_o trouble_v at_o my_o journey_n as_o many_o other_o person_n also_o be_v to_o who_o i_o be_v oblige_v there_o very_o much_o and_o especial_o to_o my_o ghostly_a father_n who_o be_v of_o the_o
may_v not_o happen_v to_o i_o as_o it_o do_v to_o lucifer_n who_o lose_v all_o by_o his_o own_o fault_n do_v not_o permit_v this_o o_o my_o lord_n i_o humble_o pray_v thou_o even_o by_o all_o that_o which_o thou_o be_v for_o it_o be_v no_o small_a fear_n which_o i_o have_v sometime_o though_o yet_o at_o other_o time_n yea_o and_o usual_o the_o mercy_n of_o almighty_a god_n give_v i_o a_o very_a confident_a hope_n that_o since_o he_o have_v be_v please_v to_o draw_v i_o out_o of_o so_o many_o sin_n he_o will_v not_o forsake_v i_o so_o now_o as_o to_o let_v i_o be_v lose_v and_o this_o do_v i_o humble_o pray_v your_o reverence_n that_o you_o will_v ever_o desire_v in_o my_o behalf_n but_o in_o the_o mean_a time_n i_o think_v that_o those_o precedent_a favour_n be_v not_o so_o very_o great_a as_o this_o which_o i_o will_v now_o apply_v myself_o to_o relate_v and_o that_o for_o many_o reason_n &_o many_o blessing_n also_o and_o in_o particular_a for_o that_o great_a courage_n &_o strength_n which_o have_v still_o remain_v in_o i_o upon_o that_o account_n and_o therefore_o if_o those_o former_a may_v be_v consider_v every_o one_o by_o itself_o this_o other_o which_o i_o be_o go_v to_o relate_v will_v be_v find_v to_o be_v so_o very_o great_a as_o that_o there_o will_v be_v no_o comparison_n at_o all_o between_o they_o i_o be_v one_o day_n and_o the_o same_o fall_v out_o to_o be_v upon_o the_o vigil_n of_o pentecost_n or_o whitsuntide_n after_o mass_n and_o i_o go_v to_o a_o more_o remote_a place_n where_o i_o often_o use_v to_o pray_v and_o i_o begin_v to_o read_v in_o a_o certain_a book_n of_o this_o feast_n which_o have_v be_v write_v by_o a_o carthusian_n and_o meet_v there_o with_o those_o sign_n which_o both_o beginner_n and_o proficient_n and_o perfect_a soul_n use_v to_o have_v and_o how_o they_o may_v come_v to_o understand_v whether_o the_o holie-ghost_n do_v inhabit_v their_o heart_n or_o no_o as_o soon_o as_o i_o have_v read_v these_o three_o state_n it_o seem_v to_o i_o that_o almighty_a god_n through_o his_o goodness_n do_v not_o leave_v or_o fail_v to_o be_v present_a with_o i_o after_o a_o particular_a manner_n for_o as_o much_o as_o i_o may_v be_v able_a to_o understand_v and_o whilst_o i_o be_v praise_v his_o divine_a majesty_n for_o that_o blessing_n i_o remember_v that_o i_o have_v read_v the_o same_o thing_n former_o when_o i_o want_v very_o much_o of_o that_o condition_n of_o mind_n and_o then_o i_o see_v that_o i_o want_v it_o as_o plain_o as_o now_o i_o understand_v the_o direct_a contrary_n concern_v myself_o but_o thus_o i_o come_v to_o know_v the_o great_a favour_n which_o our_o bless_a lord_n have_v do_v i_o and_o from_o thence_o i_o grow_v also_o to_o consider_v the_o place_n which_o my_o soul_n have_v deserve_v in_o hell_n for_o my_o sin_n and_o i_o give_v great_a praise_n to_o almighty_a god_n in_o regard_n that_o now_o i_o think_v my_o soul_n be_v so_o extreme_o change_v that_o i_o can_v hardly_o almost_o conceive_v it_o to_o be_v the_o very_a selfsame_a thing_n which_o it_o have_v be_v before_o be_v then_o in_o this_o consideration_n there_o come_v a_o great_a impulse_n or_o impetuositie_n upon_o i_o without_o my_o be_v able_a to_o understand_v the_o occasion_n thereof_o i_o think_v my_o very_a soul_n have_v a_o mind_n to_o get_v instant_o out_o of_o my_o body_n for_o now_o she_o can_v not_o possible_o contain_v herself_o any_o long_o nor_o find_v she_o herself_o at_o that_o time_n to_o be_v able_a to_o stay_v any_o long_o here_o in_o the_o painful_a expectation_n of_o so_o great_a a_o good_n now_o this_o be_v so_o excessive_a a_o impulse_n or_o impetuositie_n that_o i_o can_v not_o possible_o tell_v even_o what_o to_o do_v with_o myself_o nor_o so_o much_o as_o what_o i_o ail_v so_o extreme_o be_v i_o grow_v to_o be_v in_o disorder_n and_o though_o i_o be_v sit_v then_o yet_o be_v i_o not_o able_a even_o to_o sit_v and_o so_o i_o apply_v myself_o a_o little_a to_o lean_v for_o i_o find_v that_o all_o my_o natural_a force_n begin_v to_o fail_v i_o but_o perceave_v myself_o to_o be_v in_o this_o case_n i_o see_v a_o dove_n upon_o my_o own_o head_n but_o such_o a_o dove_n as_o be_v very_o different_a from_o they_o of_o this_o world_n for_o she_o have_v not_o of_o our_o kind_n of_o feather_n but_o the_o wing_n be_v as_o of_o certain_a little_a shell_n which_o dar_v a_o huge_a splendour_n from_o themselves_o this_o dove_n be_v much_o great_a than_o any_o ordinary_a dove_n and_o i_o thought_n i_o hear_v a_o noise_n which_o she_o make_v with_o her_o wing_n for_o she_o be_v flutter_v about_o the_o space_n of_o a_o aut_fw-la maria._n but_o my_o soul_n be_v already_o in_o such_o condition_n that_o grow_v to_o loose_v herself_o she_o also_o lose_v the_o sight_n of_o the_o dove_n my_o spirit_n do_v then_o begin_v to_o quiet_v itself_o upon_o the_o entertain_n of_o such_o a_o guest_n as_o she_o have_v get_v though_o yet_o for_o my_o part_n i_o imagine_v that_o so_o 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that_o his_o soul_n shall_v be_v defend_v and_o preserve_v for_o the_o future_a in_o such_o purity_n as_o that_o he_o shall_v not_o fall_v into_o mortal_a sinne._n and_o i_o assure_v myself_o it_o prove_v so_o for_o he_o die_v within_o few_o year_n after_o yea_o and_o he_o do_v both_o line_n and_o die_v with_o so_o great_a per_n nance_n and_o sanctity_n that_o there_o can_v be_v no_o doubt_n thereof_o for_o any_o thing_n that_o we_o be_v able_a to_o understand_v and_o a_o certain_a religious_a man_n who_o have_v be_v at_o his_o death_n tell_v i_o that_o s._n thomas_n of_o aquin_n have_v be_v with_o he_o and_o that_o he_o die_v both_o with_o great_a joy_n and_o with_o desire_n also_o to_o be_v deliver_v from_o this_o bannishment_n wherein_o he_o be_v since_o that_o time_n he_o have_v appear_v to_o i_o in_o very_a much_o glory_n and_o tell_v i_o diverse_a thing_n he_o be_v a_o man_n of_o so_o great_a prayer_n that_o when_o a_o little_a before_o he_o die_v he_o will_v glad_o have_v 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and_o wonder_v when_o the_o clock_n strike_v and_o so_o find_v that_o it_o be_v two_o hour_n wherein_o i_o have_v remain_v in_o rapt_v and_o glory_n i_o be_v amaze_v after_o this_o to_o know_v how_o by_o approach_v so_o near_o to_o this_o fire_n which_o seem_v to_o come_v from_o above_o out_o of_o the_o true_a love_n of_o almighty_a god_n it_o be_v yet_o in_o no_o power_n of_o i_o at_o all_o to_o get_v the_o least_o spark_n thereof_o but_o only_o when_o his_o divine_a majesty_n be_v please_v to_o impart_v it_o for_o how_o much_o soever_o i_o desire_v it_o and_o how_o earnest_o soever_o i_o procure_v it_o and_o will_v defeat_v and_o even_o destroy_v myself_o for_o it_o there_o be_v yet_o no_o mean_n at_o all_o to_o obtain_v it_o but_o now_o this_o rapt_v of_o i_o seem_v even_o to_o have_v consume_v the_o fault_n and_o lukewarmnesse_n and_o misery_n of_o the_o old_a man_n as_o the_o phoenix_n be_v say_v to_o do_v herself_o out_o of_o who_o ash_n when_o she_o be_v burn_v spring_v another_o phoenix_n for_o just_a so_o do_v a_o soul_n become_v absolute_o a_o other_o kind_n of_o thing_n with_o desire_n whole_o different_a and_o with_o a_o courage_n so_o increase_v that_o now_o she_o seem_v not_o to_o be_v what_o she_o be_v before_o but_o now_o begin_v to_o walk_v with_o a_o new_a kind_n of_o purity_n in_o the_o way_n of_o our_o lord_n and_o i_o just_a then_o beseech_v his_o divine_a majesty_n that_o it_o may_v prove_v to_o be_v so_o in_o my_o case_n and_o that_o i_o may_v now_o at_o least_o begin_v as_o upon_o a_o new_a account_n to_o do_v he_o service_n he_o speak_v these_o word_n to_o i_o thou_o have_v make_v a_o good_a comparison_n and_o see_v that_o thou_o forget_v it_o not_o that_o so_o thou_o may_v ever_o procure_v to_o improve_v thyself_o and_o be_v once_o in_o the_o selfsame_a doubt_n whereof_o i_o speak_v even_o now_o whether_o these_o vision_n be_v of_o god_n or_o no_o our_o lord_n appear_v and_o speak_v these_o word_n to_o i_o with_o some_o rigour_n how_o long_o o_o you_o son_n of_o man_n will_v you_o continue_v to_o be_v hard_o of_o hart_n and_o he_o also_o will_v i_o then_o to_o examine_v myself_o well_o upon_o this_o one_o interrogatory_n whether_o i_o be_v entire_o give_v to_o he_o for_o his_o or_o no_o and_o that_o if_o i_o be_v give_v so_o and_o be_v so_o i_o shall_v believe_v that_o he_o will_v not_o suffer_v i_o to_o be_v lose_v and_o whereas_o i_o afflict_v myself_o much_o upon_o his_o utter_v that_o exclamation_n aforesaid_a he_o return_v with_o great_a tenderness_n and_o regalo_n and_o tell_v i_o that_o he_o will_v not_o have_v i_o afflict_v myself_o and_o that_o he_o know_v already_o that_o i_o for_o my_o part_n will_v not_o fail_v to_o apply_v myself_o whole_o to_o that_o which_o may_v be_v for_o his_o service_n and_o that_o so_o he_o will_v also_o do_v all_o that_o which_o i_o desire_v of_o he_o against_o illusion_n and_o so_o he_o be_v please_v to_o do_v that_o thing_n in_o particular_a which_o then_o i_o humble_o 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person_n and_o this_o in_o so_o perspicuous_a and_o clear_v a_o kind_n that_o i_o be_v no_o less_o comfort_v by_o it_o then_o amaze_v at_o it_o this_o also_o do_v i_o very_o much_o good_a towards_o the_o give_v i_o increase_v of_o knowledge_n concern_v the_o greatness_n of_o almighty_a god_n and_o of_o his_o wonder_n and_o for_o all_o such_o occasion_n also_o as_o wherein_o i_o think_v of_o the_o bless_a trinity_n or_o hear_v speech_n thereof_o and_o now_o i_o think_v i_o conceive_v how_o all_o that_o mystery_n stand_v very_o well_o and_o it_o content_v i_o much_o one_o day_n upon_o the_o assumption_n of_o our_o b._n lady_n the_o queen_n of_o the_o angel_n our_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o do_v i_o the_o favour_n in_o a_o certain_a rapt_v that_o her_o rise_n up_o into_o heaven_n be_v represent_v to_o i_o together_o with_o the_o solemnity_n and_o joy_n of_o that_o celestial_a court_n wherewith_o she_o be_v receive_v as_o also_o the_o place_n which_o she_o hold_v to_o tell_v what_o kind_n of_o thing_n this_o be_v i_o be_o no_o way_n able_a the_o glory_n which_o even_o my_o spirit_n have_v to_o see_v that_o she_o be_v so_o great_a be_v even_o extreme_a and_o i_o remain_v with_o great_a effect_n and_o improvement_n by_o it_o towards_o a_o wish_n of_o undergo_n yet_o great_a affliction_n for_o the_o love_n of_o our_o lord_n and_o so_o it_o also_o give_v i_o increase_v of_o desire_n to_o serve_v our_o b._n lady_n since_o both_o her_o dignity_n and_o merit_n be_v so_o great_a and_o be_v one_o day_n in_o a_o college_n of_o the_o society_n of_o jesus_n and_o the_o brother_n of_o that_o house_n be_v then_o in_o act_n of_o receive_v the_o b._n sacrament_n i_o see_v a_o very_a rich_a canopy_n over_o their_o head_n and_o this_o at_o two_o several_a time_n but_o yet_o when_o other_o communicate_v there_o i_o see_v it_o not_o the_o fourti_v chapter_n she_o proceed_v in_o the_o same_o discourse_n by_o relate_v the_o great_a favour_n which_o our_o lord_n show_v she_o whereby_o good_a instruction_n be_v to_o be_v get_v and_o with_o the_o end_n of_o this_o chapter_n she_o end_v also_o the_o discourse_n of_o her_o life_n be_v once_o in_o prayer_n the_o delight_n and_o gust_n which_o i_o feel_v within_o myself_o be_v so_o great_a and_o i_o find_v myself_o so_o unworthy_a of_o so_o high_a a_o favour_n that_o i_o begin_v upon_o that_o occasion_n to_o consider_v how_o much_o better_o i_o have_v deserve_v to_o possess_v that_o place_n in_o hell_n which_o be_v prepare_v for_o i_o for_o i_o can_v never_o forget_v in_o what_o manner_n i_o have_v see_v myself_o
there_o and_o now_o by_o mean_n of_o this_o consideration_n my_o soul_n begin_v to_o be_v so_o much_o more_o inflame_v that_o my_o spirit_n grow_v to_o be_v in_o rapt_v and_o so_o as_o that_o i_o know_v not_o how_o to_o express_v it_o for_o i_o think_v i_o be_v put_v and_o plunge_v into_o that_o majesty_n which_o i_o have_v former_o understand_v but_o yet_o so_o as_o that_o i_o know_v not_o how_o to_o declare_v it_o in_o this_o majesty_n a_o certain_a truth_n be_v give_v i_o to_o be_v understand_v which_o indeed_o be_v the_o accomplishment_n of_o all_o truth_n but_o yet_o still_o i_o know_v not_o how_o to_o relate_v it_o for_o i_o see_v nothing_o at_o all_o distinct_o but_o they_o tell_v i_o these_o word_n though_o yet_o i_o see_v not_o who_o speak_v they_o only_o i_o know_v that_o it_o be_v the_o very_a truth_n this_o which_o i_o do_v for_o thou_o be_v no_o small_a matter_n but_o rather_o it_o be_v a_o thing_n for_o which_o thou_o ow_a i_o much_o because_o one_o of_o the_o mischief_n which_o grow_n to_o the_o world_n proceed_v from_o not_o know_v the_o truth_n of_o scripture_n with_o clear_a truth_n but_o one_o tittle_n thereof_o shall_v not_o fail_v now_o as_o for_o i_o i_o conceive_v that_o myself_o have_v always_o believe_v this_o yea_o and_o that_o all_o catholic_n have_v also_o believe_v it_o but_o then_o he_o say_v to_o i_o again_o alas_o my_o daughter_n there_o be_v few_o who_o love_v i_o according_a to_o truth_n for_o if_o they_o do_v i_o will_v not_o conceal_v my_o secret_n from_o they_o but_o do_v thou_o know_v what_o it_o be_v to_o love_v i_o according_a to_o truth_n it_o be_v to_o know_v that_o all_o be_v a_o lie_n which_o be_v not_o acceptable_a to_o i_o thou_o shall_v be_v able_a to_o see_v this_o clear_o which_o now_o thou_o do_v not_o understand_v by_o the_o profit_n which_o thy_o soul_n shall_v get_v and_o so_o according_o i_o have_v see_v it_o perform_v our_o lord_n be_v ever_o praise_v for_o it_o for_o all_o thing_n which_o be_v not_o address_v to_o the_o service_n of_o almighty_a god_n do_v of_o late_a seem_v to_o i_o so_o huge_o to_o be_v vanity_n and_o a_o lie_n that_o i_o be_o no_o way_n able_a to_o express_v how_o much_o i_o understand_v thereof_o and_o it_o move_v i_o to_o deep_a compassion_n to_o see_v man_n live_v in_o so_o great_a obscurity_n and_o ignorance_n as_o they_o be_v in_o of_o thy_o truth_n but_o by_o this_o mean_n i_o have_v benefit_v myself_o in_o many_o kind_n whereof_o i_o will_v here_o relate_v some_o and_o some_o i_o shall_v not_o be_v able_a to_o relate_v but_o our_o lord_n say_v one_o word_n to_o i_o here_o in_o particular_a with_o very_o great_a favour_n though_o i_o know_v not_o also_o how_o this_o be_v for_o i_o see_v nothing_o but_o i_o remain_v in_o such_o sort_n after_o it_o as_o i_o know_v not_o also_o how_o to_o declare_v even_o that_o only_o i_o be_o sure_a i_o remain_v by_o this_o mean_n with_o a_o very_a great_a kind_n of_o fortitude_n and_o firm_a purpose_n of_o accomplish_v even_o the_o 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world_n and_o so_o i_o then_o begin_v to_o find_v it_o pain_n enough_o even_o to_o live_v in_o it_o this_o vision_n leave_v i_o with_o a_o regalo_n of_o great_a tenderness_n and_o with_o humility_n also_o it_o seem_v to_o i_o that_o our_o bless_a lord_n do_v give_v i_o to_o understand_v much_o in_o this_o vision_n though_o yet_o without_o my_o understanding_n the_o manner_n of_o it_o but_o at_o least_o i_o be_v satisfy_v well_o enough_o that_o it_o be_v no_o illusion_n i_o see_v nothing_o but_o yet_o i_o understand_v the_o great_a benefit_n which_o there_o be_v in_o not_o make_v account_n of_o any_o thing_n which_o bring_v we_o not_o near_o to_o almighty_a god_n and_o so_o i_o come_v to_o understand_v what_o kind_n of_o thing_n it_o be_v for_o a_o soul_n to_o walk_v in_o truth_n in_o the_o presence_n of_o the_o same_o truth_n that_o which_o i_o understand_v be_v that_o our_o lord_n give_v i_o to_o understand_v that_o he_o be_v very_a truth_n itself_o and_o all_o these_o thing_n at_o which_o i_o have_v now_o point_v here_o i_o understand_v sometime_o by_o their_o be_v speak_v to_o i_o and_o at_o other_o time_n without_o speech_n but_o yet_o some_o of_o this_o latter_a sort_n with_o more_o clearness_n than_o those_o other_o which_o be_v impart_v to_o i_o by_o word_n i_o understand_v very_o great_a truth_n of_o this_o truth_n and_o better_o then_o if_o many_o learned_a man_n have_v teach_v i_o and_o at_o least_o it_o seem_v to_o i_o that_o they_o can_v by_o no_o mean_n have_v so_o imprint_v they_o in_o my_o mind_n nor_o so_o clear_o have_v give_v i_o to_o understand_v the_o vanity_n of_o this_o world_n this_o truth_n which_o i_o say_v be_v give_v i_o to_o be_v understand_v be_v very_a truth_n in_o itself_o and_o it_o be_v both_o without_o beginning_n and_o without_o end_n and_o all_o other_o truth_n depend_v upon_o this_o truth_n and_o all_o other_o love_n upon_o this_o love_n and_o all_o other_o greatness_n upon_o this_o greatness_n though_o yet_o all_o this_o be_v deliver_v by_o i_o with_o much_o obscurity_n in_o comparison_n of_o that_o clearness_n wherewith_o our_o bless_a lord_n be_v please_v to_o impart_v it_o and_o how_o very_o well_o do_v this_o become_v the_o great_a power_n of_o that_o majesty_n to_o leave_v such_o thing_n as_o these_o imprint_v upon_o the_o soul_n whereby_o such_o advantage_n be_v obtain_v and_o that_o in_o so_o short_a a_o time_n o_o greatness_n and_o majesty_n of_o my_o omnipotent_a lord_n what_o be_v it_o which_o thou_o be_v do_v consider_v who_o it_o be_v to_o who_o thou_o be_v vouchsafe_v such_o sovereign_a favour_n do_v thou_o not_o remember_v how_o this_o soul_n have_v be_v a_o very_a abyss_n of_o lie_n and_o even_o a_o deep_a sea_n of_o vanity_n and_o all_o this_o through_o fault_n of_o my_o own_o for_o notwithstanding_o that_o thou_o give_v i_o a_o inclination_n which_o natural_o do_v abhor_v lie_v yet_o i_o make_v myself_o apt_a to_o treat_v in_o many_o thing_n after_o a_o deceitful_a kind_n of_o manner_n how_o be_v thou_o able_a o_o my_o god_n even_o to_o endure_v i_o and_o how_o can_v so_o great_a goodness_n of_o thou_o be_v show_v to_o one_o who_o have_v so_o ill_o deserve_v it_o and_o how_o can_v so_o much_o sin_n against_o thou_o be_v compatible_a with_o such_o favour_n as_o these_o be_v once_o recite_v the_o hour_n of_o the_o divine_a office_n with_o all_o the_o rest_n of_o the_o religious_a my_o soul_n begin_v to_o be_v sudden_o recollect_v and_o it_o seem_v to_o i_o that_o it_o be_v like_o some_o clear_a and_o pure_a lookingglass_n without_o have_v any_o thing_n either_o on_o the_o back_n or_o on_o the_o side_n or_o yet_o either_o above_o or_o below_o which_o be_v not_o all_o extreme_o clear_a and_o in_o the_o very_a centre_n thereof_o christ_n our_o lord_n be_v represent_v to_o i_o just_a so_o as_o i_o be_o accustom_v to_o see_v he_o it_o seem_v to_o i_o that_o i_o see_v he_o clear_o in_o all_o the_o part_n and_o portion_n of_o my_o soul_n as_o in_o a_o lookingglass_n and_o so_o also_o though_o i_o know_v not_o how_o our_o bless_a lord_n himself_o be_v engrave_v therein_o with_o such_o a_o certain_a kind_n of_o enamour_a communion_n or_o communication_n of_o himself_o as_o i_o can_v possible_o express_v only_o i_o know_v that_o this_o vision_n have_v be_v of_o very_o great_a benefit_n to_o i_o and_o be_v so_o whensoever_o i_o remember_v it_o and_o especial_o after_o i_o receive_v the_o b._n sacrament_n but_o it_o be_v give_v i_o hereby_o to_o understand_v that_o the_o be_v of_o a_o soul_n in_o mortal_a sin_n be_v to_o make_v this_o glass_n be_v cover_v
i_o have_v to_o converse_v with_o they_o but_o our_o lord_n do_v ever_o counsel_v i_o in_o all_o thing_n yea_o so_o far_o as_o even_o to_o tell_v i_o how_o i_o shall_v carry_v myself_o towards_o weak_a person_n and_o some_o other_o also_o and_o he_o never_o lay_v the_o care_n of_o i_o aside_o but_o i_o be_o much_o trouble_v to_o find_v that_o i_o be_o good_a for_o so_o little_a in_o his_o service_n as_o also_o that_o i_o can_v do_v the_o less_o through_o my_o spend_v more_o time_n than_o i_o wiâ—h_v upon_o so_o weak_a and_o waste_v a_o body_n as_o i_o be_v as_o i_o be_v once_o in_o prayer_n and_o the_o hour_n of_o our_o go_v to_o rest_n come_v on_o i_o find_v myself_o in_o a_o great_a deal_n of_o pain_n and_o know_v that_o my_o ordinary_a vomit_n will_v arrive_v and_o obserue_v myself_o to_o be_v so_o tyed-up_a to_o these_o care_n and_o the_o spirit_n on_o the_o other_o side_n desit_v to_o have_v some_o time_n for_o itself_o i_o grow_v to_o be_v even_o so_o tire_v that_o i_o begin_v to_o be_v great_o afflict_v and_o to_o weep_v much_o and_o that_o happen_v very_o often_o to_o i_o and_o this_o condition_n put_v i_o to_o such_o a_o kind_n of_o anger_n that_o i_o think_v i_o do_v in_o those_o time_n even_o abhor_v myself_o though_o yet_o it_o be_v true_a withal_o that_o i_o do_v not_o abhor_v myself_o indeed_o nor_o yet_o be_o want_v in_o what_o be_v necessary_a for_o i_o and_o i_o rather_o pray_v god_n that_o i_o take_v not_o more_o care_n of_o myself_o than_o i_o shall_v and_o so_o i_o fear_v i_o do_v but_o now_o whilst_o i_o be_v in_o this_o grief_n our_o lord_n appear_v to_o i_o and_o regale_v i_o very_o much_o and_o tell_v i_o that_o i_o must_v endure_v these_o trouble_n and_o goe-through_a with_o they_o for_o love_n of_o he_o and_o that_o my_o life_n be_v necessary_a yet_o and_o so_o i_o think_v i_o never_o see_v myself_o in_o any_o very_a great_a pain_n which_o i_o value_v since_o i_o resolve_v to_o serve_v this_o lord_n and_o comforter_n of_o i_o with_o all_o my_o power_n for_o though_o he_o permit_v i_o to_o suffer_v a_o little_a yet_o will_v he_o still_o be_v assist_v i_o so_o withal_o that_o i_o esteem_v not_o myself_o to_o do_v much_o in_o desire_v to_o suffer_v affliction_n for_o his_o sake_n so_o that_o now_o i_o think_v there_o be_v no_o reason_n why_o we_o shall_v even_o desire_v so_o much_o as_o to_o live_v but_o only_o to_o the_o end_n that_o we_o may_v suffer_v and_o according_o this_o be_v the_o thing_n which_o i_o beg_v with_o most_o affection_n of_o almighty_a god_n and_o sometime_o i_o be_o say_v to_o he_o with_o my_o whole_a hart_n o_o lord_n let_v i_o either_o suffer_v or_o die_v for_o i_o beg_v no_o other_o thing_n of_o thou_o for_o myself_o and_o now_o it_o use_v to_o comfort_v i_o to_o hear_v the_o clock_n strike_v for_o so_o i_o think_v i_o be_o grow_v a_o little_a near_o to_o the_o see_v of_o god_n though_o it_o be_v but_o a_o little_a because_o one_o hour_n more_o of_o my_o life_n be_v past_a at_o other_o time_n i_o find_v myself_o in_o such_o sort_n that_o i_o neither_o take_v much_o pleasure_n in_o live_v nor_o yet_o i_o think_v have_v any_o great_a mind_n to_o die_v and_o so_o in_o the_o mean_a time_n i_o remain_v with_o a_o kind_n of_o stupidity_n and_o darkness_n of_o mind_n in_o all_o thing_n and_o many_o time_n i_o also_o have_v some_o trouble_n and_o since_o our_o lord_n be_v please_v that_o those_o favour_n shall_v be_v public_o know_v which_o his_o divine_a majesty_n vouchsafe_v to_o show_v i_o as_o he_o himself_o have_v tell_v i_o some_o year_n ago_o that_o they_o shall_v be_v which_o give_v i_o vexation_n enough_o and_o it_o be_v not_o a_o little_a that_o i_o have_v endure_v therein_o as_o your_o reverence_n know_v for_o every_o body_n will_v understand_v thing_n as_o he_o list_n i_o comfort_v myself_o yet_o with_o this_o that_o it_o have_v not_o arrive_v by_o my_o fault_n because_o i_o never_o speak_v of_o any_o such_o thing_n but_o either_o to_o my_o ghostly_a father_n or_o other_o who_o i_o know_v even_o by_o they_o have_v understand_v thereof_o for_o of_o this_o i_o be_v very_o wary_a even_o to_o extremity_n though_o yet_o perhaps_o i_o abstain_v not_o so_o much_o for_o respect_n of_o humility_n as_o in_o regard_n that_o i_o have_v pain_n enough_o to_o tell_v even_o my_o ghostly_a father_n thereof_o and_o therefore_o how_o much_o less_o will_v i_o impart_v thing_n of_o this_o nature_n to_o other_o but_o now_o i_o earnest_o desire_v that_o almighty_a god_n may_v receive_v glory_n by_o it_o howsoever_o there_o be_v some_o who_o murmur_n at_o i_o very_o much_o upon_o this_o occasion_n though_o even_o yet_o i_o think_v they_o may_v peradventure_o do_v it_o with_o good_a zeal_n and_o there_o be_v other_o who_o be_v afraid_a even_o to_o treat_v with_o i_o in_o any_o kind_n yea_o and_o even_o to_o receive_v the_o confession_n of_o my_o sin_n and_o other_o say_v also_o other_o thing_n but_o how_o soever_o since_o i_o understand_v that_o it_o have_v please_v our_o bless_a lord_n to_o reduce_v many_o soul_n by_o this_o mean_n and_o because_o i_o see_v clear_o and_o remember_v continual_o how_o much_o himself_o will_v be_v please_v to_o endure_v for_o the_o gain_n of_o one_o soul_n i_o allow_v myself_o to_o take_v little_a trouble_n for_o any_o thing_n which_o man_n can_v say_v of_o i_o and_o i_o know_v not_o whether_o or_o no_o this_o may_v not_o have_v be_v a_o part_n of_o the_o cause_n why_o his_o divine_a majesty_n have_v place_v i_o in_o this_o little_a corner_n of_o the_o world_n where_o i_o be_o so_o shut_v up_o and_o where_o i_o think_v there_o will_v be_v no_o more_o memory_n of_o i_o then_o of_o a_o thing_n which_o be_v dead_a but_o their_o forgerfulnes_n be_v not_o so_o great_a as_o i_o wish_v and_o so_o i_o have_v be_v constrain_v to_o speak_v sometime_o with_o some_o person_n yet_o howsoever_o i_o be_o not_o now_o where_o the_o world_n may_v easy_o see_v i_o for_o it_o seem_v that_o our_o lord_n have_v be_v please_v to_o drive_v i_o from_o sea_n to_o this_o port_n and_o i_o trust_v in_o his_o divine_a majesty_n that_o it_o will_v prove_v a_o very_a safe_a one_o for_o i_o and_o since_o now_o i_o be_o out_o of_o the_o world_n and_o find_v myself_o in_o the_o company_n of_o few_o but_o they_o holy_a creature_n i_o look_v down_o upon_o the_o world_n as_o from_o a_o place_n which_o be_v very_o high_a and_o so_o it_o be_v grow_v to_o be_v of_o little_a moment_n with_o i_o what_o they_o below_o do_v either_o say_v or_o think_v and_o i_o will_v make_v much_o more_o account_n to_o understand_v that_o any_o one_o soul_n shall_v have_v profit_v to_o the_o weight_n of_o one_o little_a grain_n in_o god_n service_n by_o my_o mean_n then_o of_o all_o which_o can_v be_v say_v of_o i_o in_o any_o kind_n for_o since_o i_o have_v find_v myself_o in_o this_o place_n our_o lord_n have_v be_v gracious_o please_v that_o all_o the_o desire_n of_o my_o hart_n may_v have_v no_o other_o aim_n but_o this_o and_o he_o have_v also_o give_v i_o even_o a_o kind_n of_o sleep_n in_o this_o life_n which_o make_v i_o find_v that_o whatsoever_o i_o see_v be_v but_o dream_v nor_o be_o i_o able_a to_o say_v that_o i_o reap_v either_o much_o contentment_n or_o trouble_v by_o any_o thing_n of_o this_o world_n and_o if_o yet_o some_o thing_n give_v i_o any_o it_o pass_v away_o with_o so_o very_o great_a speed_n that_o i_o even_o wonder_v at_o it_o and_o it_o make_v but_o just_a such_o a_o kind_n of_o impression_n upon_o i_o as_o a_o thing_n will_v do_v whereof_o i_o have_v dream_v and_o it_o be_v a_o most_o perfect_a truth_n that_o although_o i_o shall_v afterward_o have_v a_o piece_n of_o a_o mind_n either_o to_o be_v glad_a of_o any_o contentment_n or_o to_o be_v sorry_a for_o any_o mis-accident_n and_o trouble_v it_o be_v real_o no_o more_o now_o in_o my_o power_n but_o just_a so_o as_o any_o man_n who_o be_v discreet_a will_v take_v either_o trouble_n or_o joy_n from_o a_o dream_n of_o his_o own_o for_o now_o our_o bless_a lord_n have_v already_o be_v please_v to_o awake_v and_o open_v the_o eye_n of_o my_o soul_n from_o out_o of_o that_o folly_n wherein_o it_o be_v and_o whereas_o by_o my_o not_o be_v mortify_v nor_o dead_a to_o the_o thing_n of_o this_o world_n i_o be_v wont_a to_o have_v much_o feel_n of_o such_o thing_n as_o happen_v his_o divine_a majesty_n be_v please_v now_o that_o i_o shall_v loose_v my_o true_a sight_n no_o more_o in_o this_o sort_n sir_n do_v i_o live_v now_o and_o i_o
near_o they_o with_o hallow_v candle_n candle_n a_o excellent_a advice_n take_v heed_n of_o this_o great_a danger_n danger_n consider_v this_o point_n much_o and_o often_o often_o note_v this_o good_a conclusion_n upon_o the_o praemise_n praemise_n note_v this_o very_o well_o for_o nothing_o import_v more_o they_o this_o this_o a_o great_a and_o gross_a error_n error_n a_o point_n of_o very_o great_a importance_n importance_n note_n note_n this_o be_v the_o beginning_n of_o many_o great_a blessing_n blessing_n her_o entrance_n into_o the_o receave_n supernatural_a favour_n favour_n it_o work_n not_o indeed_o by_o way_n of_o use_v discourse_n or_o make_v inference_n but_o yet_o it_o work_v by_o way_n of_o contemplation_n and_o admiration_n of_o the_o infinite_a object_n be_v god_n who_o be_v set_v before_o it_o it_o note_n note_n a_o great_a &_o foolish_a error_n error_n behold_v here_o the_o true_a &_o great_a impediment_n impediment_n this_o saint_n be_v admirable_a in_o all_o the_o comparison_n which_o the_o use_n use_n this_o be_v a_o kind_n of_o engine_n with_o certain_a little_a leather_n bucket_n fasten_v to_o the_o side_n of_o a_o very_a great_a wheel_n which_o dra_n be_v up_o very_o much_o water_n with_o great_a ease_n in_o spanish_a it_o be_v call_v a_o noria_n noria_n a_o good_a lesson_n lesson_n a_o consideration_n of_o much_o comfort_n comfort_n a_o hard_a question_n most_o clear_o and_o excellent_o answer_v answer_v mark_v well_o these_o masculine_a and_o massy_a word_n word_n note_n note_n this_o suspending_a of_o the_o thought_n or_o understanding_n of_o which_o the_o saint_n speak_v be_v a_o present_v a_o multitude_n of_o supernatural_a and_o divine_a object_n before_o it_o together_o with_o a_o copious_a infusion_n of_o light_n which_o be_v decern_v by_o it_o after_o a_o kind_n of_o intuitive_a way_n at_o once_o without_o discourse_n or_o trouble_v and_o this_o light_n rest_v not_o there_o but_o passes-on_a to_o the_o will_n and_o grow_n to_o be_v as_o so_o much_o fire_n for_o the_o inflame_a it_o in_o the_o love_n of_o our_o lord_n and_o the_o soul_n do_v more_o proper_o suffer_v here_o then_o act_n and_o now_o the_o saint_n give_v great_a warning_n that_o people_n be_v not_o so_o foolish_a as_o to_o offer_v at_o these_o thing_n of_o themselves_o a_o great_a truth_n truth_n a_o dangerous_a &_o proud_n foolish_a error_n error_n observe_v the_o generous_a way_n of_o this_o great_a saint_n saint_n note_v this_o very_a well_o well_o a_o great_a praise_n of_o a_o large_a hart_n hart_n how_o saint_n be_v to_o be_v imitate_v &_o how_o admire_v admire_v note_v this_o well_o well_o a_o necessary_a advice_n advice_n our_o daily_a bread_n bread_n a_o description_n of_o a_o good_a director_n in_o matter_n of_o spirit_n spirit_n note_n note_n how_o the_o will_n be_v to_o carry_v itself_o to_o the_o other_o faculty_n of_o the_o mind_n mind_n the_o blessing_n of_o quiet_a prayer_n prayer_n note_n note_n note_n note_n how_o the_o soul_n be_v to_o carry_v itself_o in_o quiet_a prayer_n prayer_n note_n note_n a_o true_a &_o happy_a comparison_n comparison_n the_o good_a spirit_n very_o easy_o discern_v from_o the_o bad_a bad_a note_v this_o point_n above_o all_o all_o a_o most_o necessary_a document_n document_n a_o great_a blessing_n by_o mean_n of_o this_o prayer_n prayer_n these_o be_v the_o more_o generous_a mind_n mind_n as_o when_o one_o be_v die_v die_v this_o be_v a_o admirable_a state_n of_o mind_n mind_n the_o true_a state_n of_o the_o power_n of_o the_o mind_n in_o this_o prayer_n how_o there_o be_v a_o union_n in_o this_o prayer_n &_o how_o there_o be_v none_o none_o the_o great_a effect_n of_o this_o high_a prayer_n prayer_n the_o difference_n betweme_v elevation_n and_o union_n union_n she_o proceed_v in_o declare_v the_o great_a effect_n of_o this_o high_a prayer_n prayer_n a_o consideration_n of_o strange_a comfort_n comfort_n this_o be_v strange_a indeed_o indeed_o the_o strong_a pillar_n of_o prayer_n prayer_n consider_v this_o very_a well_o well_o take_v heed_n heed_n a_o most_o dangerous_a temptation_n temptation_n consider_v and_o admire_v this_o passage_n passage_n the_o manner_n &_o nature_n of_o rapt_n rapt_n the_o effect_n of_o rapt_n rapt_n the_o strange_a state_n of_o mind_n which_o perhaps_o be_v describe_v in_o the_o whole_a book_n book_n the_o effect_n of_o rapt_n rapt_n this_o saint_n it_o admirable_a in_o her_o comparison_n comparison_n other_o great_a effect_n of_o true_a rapt_n rapt_n her_o great_a zeal_n for_o the_o conversion_n of_o king_n king_n she_o allude_v to_o comet_n and_o blaze_a star_n star_n a_o rare_a expression_n expression_n anopinion_n which_o be_v more_o probable_a then_o true_a true_a this_o seem_v to_o have_v be_v a_o foolish_a and_o ill-favoured_a kind_n of_o error_n in_o those_o other_o other_o that_o be_v by_o several_a vision_n vision_n a_o sweet_a and_o just_a complaint_n and_o worthy_a of_o the_o saint_n who_o make_v it_o it_o by_o vision_n vision_n believe_v and_o consider_v this_o most_o certain_a truth_n truth_n a_o doubt_n which_o can_v easy_o be_v solue_v solue_v she_o grow_n now_o to_o make_v serious_a enquiry_n after_o a_o good_a director_n director_n the_o only_a excellent_a course_n course_n this_o holy_a man_n enter_v often_o into_o the_o story_n of_o our_o saint_n saint_n this_o be_v no_o improbable_a opinion_n though_o it_o be_v no_o true_a one_o one_o so_o good_a a_o begin_n be_v almost_o a_o kind_n of_o perfect_v the_o work_n work_n the_o saint_n begann_v here_o to_o be_v happy_a happy_a this_o be_v a_o wise_a man_n &_o likely_a to_o work_n wonder_v upon_o a_o soul_n soul_n he_o lose_v nothing_o by_o leave_v to_o be_v a_o duke_n for_o god_n sake_n sake_n this_o must_v needs_o have_v be_v a_o holy_a and_o a_o wise_a man_n man_n a_o little_a of_o this_o go_v far_o far_o so_o true_a it_o be_v that_o god_n be_v god_n god_n the_o mighty_a force_n and_o power_n of_o any_o one_o supernatural_a word_n word_n the_o 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false_a and_o between_v a_o true_a vision_n and_o a_o fancy_n fancy_n a_o plain_a demonstration_n demonstration_n in_o order_n to_o the_o guide_v of_o other_o a_o director_n may_v easy_o have_v too_o mean_a a_o optnion_n of_o himself_o himself_o this_o saint_n be_v huge_o vex_v by_o the_o insatisfaction_n which_o she_o receive_v from_o many_o spiritual_a man_n man_n this_o be_v very_o fit_a to_o be_v know_v know_v this_o be_v a_o true_a fortiter_fw-la sed_fw-la suaviter_fw-la suaviter_fw-la this_o saint_n be_v most_o strange_o familiar_o and_o supernatural_o visit_v by_o our_o b_o lord_n lord_n a_o strange_a task_n which_o be_v put_v even_o by_o holy_a man_n upon_o this_o saint_n saint_n the_o more_o she_o be_v discountenance_v even_o by_o good_a man_n so_o much_o the_o more_o high_o be_v she_o favour_v by_o our_o lord_n lord_n a_o rare_a comparison_n comparison_n still_o more_o &_o more_o excellent_a comparison_n comparison_n a_o excellent_a &_o most_o necessary_a advice_n advice_n a_o strange_a mixture_n of_o affection_n but_o such_o as_o god_n know_v how_o to_o give_v give_v this_o grief_n be_v after_o the_o rate_n of_o the_o love_n love_n a_o very_a safe_a and_o wise_a way_n of_o proceed_v proceed_v this_o be_v a_o most_o certain_a truth_n truth_n here_o follow_v a_o whole_a world_n of_o sad_a temptation_n &_o trouble_n trouble_n the_o difference_n betweme_v divine_a and_o diabolical_a grief_n of_o mind_n mind_n the_o way_n &_o manner_n of_o a_o great_a desolation_n desolation_n a_o pretty_a humour_n humour_n a_o happy_a state_n state_n she_o make_v along_o discourse_n of_o the_o diabolical_a temptation_n &_o trouble_n to_o which_o she_o be_v subject_a subject_a the_o excellency_n of_o holy_a water_n water_n a_o great_a and_o just_a consolation_n consolation_n a_o question_n worthy_a of_o he_o that_o ask_v it_o it_o this_o be_v a_o very_a great_a truth_n but_o the_o accent_n must_v be_v put_v upon_o the_o word_n indeed_o indeed_o and_o though_o she_o shall_v have_v continue_v to_o ask_v it_o i_o dare_v say_v our_o lord_n will_v not_o have_v grant_v it_o it_o a_o must_v certain_a truth_n truth_n a_o wise_a &_o solid_a truth_n truth_n exercise_n of_o prayer_n and_o love_n of_o honour_n agree_v not_o well_o together_o together_o this_o be_v not_o to_o be_v literal_o understand_v for_o the_o devil_n can_v prepare_v no_o place_n for_o a_o soul_n in_o hell_n but_o by_o the_o decree_n of_o almighty_a god_n upon_o the_o particular_a judgement_n give_v at_o the_o death_n of_o the_o party_n party_n the_o sin_n of_o ingratitude_n discorrespondence_n and_o inordinate_a affection_n to_o creature_n which_o she_o do_v commit_v and_o the_o great_a and_o mortal_a sin_n which_o she_o will_v most_o certain_o have_v commit_v if_o the_o mercy_n of_o our_o bless_a lord_n have_v not_o prevent_v and_o withhold_v she_o she_o hell_n be_v represent_v to_o she_o in_o spirit_n after_o a_o most_o subtle_a manner_n and_o it_o be_v show_v to_o she_o and_o describe_v by_o she_o in_o such_o sort_n as_o that_o such_o creature_n may_v be_v capable_a thereof_o as_o be_v endue_v not_o only_o with_o mind_n but_o with_o body_n body_n the_o excellent_a fruit_n which_o this_o saint_n do_v gather_v from_o this_o great_a favour_n which_o seem_v to_o be_v the_o sole_a cause_n why_o our_o b._n lord_n be_v please_v to_o impair_v this_o favour_n favour_n the_o great_a benefit_n of_o this_o favour_n favour_n vide_fw-la supra_fw-la fol_n 471._o 471._o a_o sweet_a effect_n of_o a_o sad_a cause_n cause_n a_o sad_a and_o strange_a proceed_n proceed_n how_o one_o suspicion_n u._fw-mi wont_a to_o three_o itself_o close_o upon_o another_o another_o a_o holy_a &_o wise_a man_n man_n all_o these_o thing_n and_o the_o like_a as_o namely_o dart_n or_o chain_n or_o crown_n or_o jewel_n etc._n etc._n be_v not_o to_o be_v understoood_a after_o a_o gross_a &_o material_a way_n but_o yet_o that_o real_o they_o have_v truth_n in_o their_o be_v represent_v distinct_o &_o clear_o to_o the_o imagination_n of_o the_o party_n and_o they_o chief_o serve_v as_o testimony_n &_o sign_n of_o those_o interior_a grace_n &_o virtue_n which_o use_v to_o be_v imprint_v upon_o soul_n at_o those_o very_a time_n by_o the_o mercy_n of_o our_o b._n lord_n lord_n she_o mean_v herself_o herself_o this_o saint_n be_v a_o excellent_a person_n to_o make_v a_o friend_n of_o of_o a_o very_a strange_a demonstration_n of_o a_o most_o civil_a noble_a and_o friendly_a hart_n hart_n our_o bless_a lord_n be_v still_o as_o good_a as_o his_o word_n word_n the_o great_a charity_n &_o humility_n of_o the_o saint_n saint_n how_o devout_a this_o dear_a saint_n be_v be_v they_o be_v very_o noble_a though_o they_o be_v poor_a poor_a the_o devil_n be_v still_o himself_o himself_o this_o be_v such_o a_o kind_n of_o world_n as_o wherein_o thing_n will_v ever_o go_v thus_o thus_o a_o true_a answer_n to_o all_o the_o devil_n objection_n objection_n note_v the_o description_n which_o the_o saint_n make_v here_o of_o her_o religious_a religious_a this_o fast_a of_o the_o order_n be_v not_o so_o strict_a and_o rigorous_a as_o that_o of_o the_o church_n but_o be_v rather_o a_o forbearance_n of_o half_a the_o meal_n than_o a_o fast_a fast_a this_o point_n of_o have_v so_o very_a few_o in_o a_o monastery_n be_v partly_o mean_v for_o they_o who_o be_v to_o live_v in_o any_o place_n on_o alm_n and_o partly_o because_o the_o saint_n have_v see_v some_o disorder_n by_o have_v too_o many_o religious_a in_o other_o house_n and_o yet_o the_o saint_n herself_o come_v afterward_o to_o admit_v of_o twenty_o in_o stead_n of_o twelue_v and_o will_v perhaps_o have_v admit_v more_o if_o she_o have_v find_v reason_n for_o it_o it_o she_o inveigh_v with_o much_o reason_n against_o vain_a compliment_n and_o especial_o among_o religious_a people_n people_n a_o excellent_a &_o most_o useful_a document_n document_n a_o true_a noble_a &_o most_o generous_a hart_n hart_n great_a effect_n of_o a_o vision_n