the_o true_a effigy_n of_o the_o late_a reverend_n divine_a mr._n hanserd_n knollis_n aetatis_fw-la suae_fw-la 93._o f._n h._n van_n hove_n sculp_v the_o life_n and_o death_n of_o that_o old_a disciple_n of_o jesus_n christ_n and_o eminent_a minister_n of_o the_o gospel_n mr._n hanserd_n knollys_n who_o die_v in_o the_o ninety_o three_o year_n of_o his_o age._n write_a with_o his_o own_o hand_n to_o the_o year_n 1672._o and_o continue_v in_o general_n in_o a_o epistle_n by_o mr._n william_n kiffin_n to_o which_o be_v add_v his_o last_o legacy_n to_o the_o church_n london_n print_v for_o john_n harris_n at_o the_o harrow_n in_o the_o poultry_n 1692._o 〈…〉_o fuimus_fw-la the_o right_a honorable_n charles_n viscount_n bruce_n of_o ampthill_n son_n &_o heir_n apparent_a of_o thomas_n earl_n of_o ailesbury_n &_o baron_n bruce_n of_o whorleton_n the_o epistle_n to_o the_o reader_n it_o be_v the_o special_a charge_n god_n give_v to_o his_o people_n of_o old_a that_o the_o many_o signal_n 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some_o distress_n that_o he_o do_v according_o at_o that_o great_a age_n again_o undertake_v the_o teach_v of_o a_o school_n that_o he_o may_v do_v to_o the_o uttermost_a of_o his_o ability_n to_o provide_v for_o they_o and_o have_v finish_v his_o work_n he_o fall_v asleep_a in_o the_o lord_n the_o 19_o of_o september_n 1691._o that_o these_o experience_n may_v be_v of_o use_n to_o all_o those_o that_o read_v the_o same_o be_v the_o desire_n and_o prayer_n of_o thou_o in_o the_o lord_n william_n kiffin_n the_o life_n and_o death_n of_o mr._n hanserd_n knollys_n i_o hanserd_n knollys_n be_v bear_v at_o calkwell_n near_o low_v in_o lincolnshire_n and_o be_v remove_v thence_o with_o my_o parent_n to_o schartho_n near_o market_n grymsby_n in_o the_o same_o county_n about_o the_o six_o year_n of_o my_o age_n i_o fall_v into_o a_o great_a pond_n and_o be_v preserve_v from_o be_v drown_v by_o the_o water_n bear_v up_o my_o coat_n till_o my_o father_n come_v leap_v in_o and_o pull_v i_o out_o about_o the_o ten_o year_n of_o my_o age_n i_o have_v construe_v the_o 35th_o chap._n of_o jeremiah_n in_o my_o latin_a bible_n to_o my_o father_n he_o take_v occasion_n to_o dissuade_v i_o from_o the_o love_n and_o use_v of_o strong_a drink_n and_o say_v he_o will_v give_v i_o 20_o l._n if_o i_o will_v drink_v water_n but_o withal_o tell_v i_o he_o will_v not_o have_v i_o do_v it_o to_o the_o prejudice_n of_o my_o health_n and_o charge_v i_o to_o make_v no_o vow_n to_o god_n so_o to_o do_v for_o i_o do_v not_o understand_v how_o sacred_a a_o thing_n a_o vow_n be_v and_o how_o it_o do_v bind_v the_o soul_n and_o it_o will_v be_v sin_n not_o to_o perform_v my_o vow_n whereupon_o i_o drink_v water_n eleven_o year_n and_o never_o in_o all_o that_o time_n drink_v any_o wine_n nor_o strong_a drink_n about_o that_o time_n my_o father_n keep_v a_o tutor_n in_o his_o house_n to_o teach_v i_o and_o my_o brother_n who_o be_v a_o godly_a and_o conscientious_a young_a man_n he_o give_v we_o good_a 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which_o i_o now_o see_v be_v but_o filthy_a rag_n etc._n etc._n then_o god_n give_v i_o those_o two_o promise_n isa_n 43.22_o 23_o 24_o 25._o and_o isa_n 54.9_o 10._o and_o fill_v my_o soul_n with_o joy_n and_o peace_n in_o believe_v so_o that_o i_o break_v forth_o into_o praise_n and_o thanksgiving_n the_o next_o day_n i_o go_v again_o to_o mr._n wheelwright_n and_o tell_v he_o what_o god_n have_v do_v for_o my_o poor_a soul_n who_o say_v unto_o i_o now_o i_o be_v somewhat_o prepare_v to_o preach_v jesus_n christ_n and_o the_o gospel_n of_o free_a grace_n to_o other_o have_v be_v teach_v it_o of_o god_n and_o have_v hear_v and_o learned_a jesus_n christ_n myself_o and_o he_o advise_v i_o to_o wait_v still_o upon_o god_n in_o prayer_n and_o christ_n will_v appear_v again_o to_o i_o by_o his_o holy_a spirit_n in_o his_o word_n and_o show_v i_o and_o teach_v i_o how_o to_o preach_v then_o i_o go_v home_o again_o and_o continue_v in_o prayer_n and_o one_o day_n beg_v earnest_o of_o god_n in_o prayer_n that_o if_o he_o have_v design_v i_o to_o that_o great_a work_n of_o preach_v the_o gospel_n that_o then_o he_o will_v give_v i_o some_o testimony_n out_o of_o his_o holy_a word_n of_o his_o call_v i_o thereunto_o whereupon_o those_o word_n be_v speak_v by_o his_o spirit_n to_o my_o heart_n act._n 26.16_o i_o have_v appear_v unto_o thou_o for_o this_o purpose_n to_o make_v thou_o a_o minister_n and_o a_o witness_n both_o of_o those_o thing_n which_o thou_o have_v see_v and_o of_o those_o thing_n in_o which_o i_o will_v appear_v unto_o thou_o whence_o i_o believe_v that_o now_o i_o have_v receive_v a_o call_n and_o commission_n from_o my_o lord_n jesus_n christ_n to_o preach_v the_o gospel_n of_o his_o free_a grace_n and_o i_o bless_a god_n and_o expect_v a_o further_a appearance_n of_o jesus_n christ_n unto_o i_o that_o night_n in_o my_o sleep_n christ_n put_v into_o my_o mind_n that_o the_o next_o lord_n day_n i_o shall_v preach_v on_o that_o text_n rom._n 8.1_o and_o he_o dictate_v to_o i_o in_o my_o sleep_n what_o doctrine_n i_o shall_v preach_v from_o that_o text._n the_o next_o day_n i_o go_v and_o tell_v all_o this_o to_o mr._n wheelwright_n who_o say_v now_o my_o belove_a brother_n and_z fellow_z labourer_n in_o the_o gospel_n of_o the_o grace_n of_o god_n christ_n have_v give_v you_o authority_n a_o call_v and_o a_o commission_n to_o preach_v i_o pray_v you_o be_v humble_a and_o holy_a and_o delay_v not_o to_o do_v your_o master_n work_n or_o word_n to_o that_o effect_n that_o night_n in_o my_o sleep_n the_o lord_n teach_v i_o more_o and_o the_o three_o night_n also_o and_o i_o retain_v it_o all_o in_o my_o memory_n and_o write_v it_o down_o and_o search_v the_o scripture_n which_o i_o receive_v in_o my_o sleep_n for_o the_o confirmation_n of_o my_o doctrine_n and_o the_o next_o day_n be_v the_o lord_n day_n i_o preach_v that_o which_o i_o have_v receive_v from_o the_o lord_n and_o god_n make_v it_o useful_a and_o powerful_a to_o conversion_n as_o appear_v to_o i_o afterward_o thus_o i_o be_v night_n by_o night_n teach_v of_o god_n to_o preach_v the_o doctrine_n of_o free_a grace_n according_a to_o the_o tenor_n of_o the_o new_a and_o everlasting_a covenant_n for_o three_o or_o four_o year_n together_o whereby_o very_a many_o sinner_n be_v convert_v and_o many_o believer_n be_v establish_v in_o the_o faith_n in_o which_o three_o or_o four_o year_n space_n i_o preach_v in_o three_o several_a place_n at_o woodenderby_a at_o fulleby_n on_o the_o hill_n and_o at_o wainfleel_n where_o i_o be_v silence_v and_o from_o thence_o remove_v to_o london_n and_o thence_o to_o new-england_n with_o my_o wife_n and_o one_o child_n about_o the_o year_n 1636._o i_o be_v persecute_v and_o prosecute_v in_o the_o high_a commission_n court_n by_o virtue_n of_o a_o warrant_n wherewith_o i_o be_v apprehend_v in_o boston_n and_o keep_v a_o prisoner_n in_o the_o man_n house_n who_o serve_v the_o warrant_n upon_o i_o but_o god_n help_v i_o to_o convince_v he_o and_o he_o be_v so_o great_o terrify_v in_o his_o conscience_n that_o he_o set_v open_a his_o door_n and_o let_v i_o go_v away_o but_o before_o i_o go_v i_o tarry_v so_o long_o in_o london_n wait_v for_o a_o passage_n that_o when_o i_o go_v aboard_o i_o have_v but_o 6_o brass_n farthing_n leave_v and_o no_o silver_n nor_o gold_n only_o my_o wife_n have_v 5_o l._n that_o i_o know_v not_o of_o which_o she_o give_v i_o when_o we_o come_v there_o by_o the_o way_n my_o little_a child_n die_v with_o convulsion_n fit_v our_o beer_n and_o water_n stanke_z our_o biscuit_n be_v green_a yellow_a and_o blue_a mould_v and_o rot_a and_o our_o cheese_n also_o so_o that_o we_o suffer_v much_o hardship_n be_v 12_o week_n in_o our_o passage_n but_o god_n be_v gracious_a to_o we_o and_o lead_v we_o safe_a through_o those_o great_a deep_n and_o ever_o we_o go_v ashore_o come_v one_o and_o inquire_v for_o i_o and_o tell_v i_o a_o friend_n that_o be_v go_v from_o boston_n to_o rode_n island_n have_v leave_v i_o his_o house_n to_o sojourn_v in_o to_o which_o we_o go_v and_o two_o family_n more_o with_o we_o who_o go_v sudden_o to_o their_o friend_n and_o other_o relation_n in_o the_o country_n and_o i_o be_v poor_a be_v necessitate_v to_o work_v daily_o with_o my_o howe_n for_o the_o space_n of_o almost_o three_o week_n the_o magistrate_n be_v tell_v by_o the_o minister_n that_o i_o be_v a_o antinomian_a and_o desire_v they_o will_v not_o suffer_v i_o to_o abide_v in_o their_o patent_n but_o within_o the_o time_n limit_v by_o their_o law_n in_o that_o case_n two_o stranger_n come_v to_o boston_n from_o piscattuah_n hear_v of_o i_o by_o a_o mere_a accident_n get_v i_o to_o go_v with_o they_o to_o that_o plantation_n and_o to_o preach_v there_o where_o i_o remain_v about_o four_o year_n and_o then_o be_v send_v for_o back_n to_o england_n by_o my_o age_a father_n i_o return_v with_o my_o wife_n and_o one_o child_n about_o three_o year_n old_a and_o she_o be_v great_a with_o another_o child_n and_o we_o come_v safe_a to_o london_n on_o the_o 24_o of_o december_n 1641._o in_o which_o year_n the_o massacre_n in_o ireland_n break_v forth_o and_o the_o next_o year_n war_n break_v forth_o in_o england_n between_o king_n and_o parliament_n i_o be_v still_o poor_a and_o sojourn_v in_o a_o lodging_n till_o i_o have_v but_o sixpence_n leave_v and_o know_v not_o how_o to_o provide_v for_o my_o wife_n and_o child_n but_o have_v pray_v to_o god_n and_o encourage_v my_o wife_n to_o trust_v in_o god_n and_o to_o remember_v former_a experience_n and_o especial_o that_o word_n of_o promise_n god_n have_v give_v we_o and_o will_v perform_v to_o we_o heb._n 13.5_o have_v pay_v for_o my_o lodging_n i_o go_v out_o not_o know_v whither_o god_n good_a hand_n of_o providence_n will_v lead_v i_o to_o receive_v something_o towards_o my_o present_a subsistence_n and_o about_o seven_o or_o eight_o door_n from_o my_o lodging_n a_o woman_n meet_v i_o in_o the_o street_n and_o tell_v i_o she_o come_v to_o seek_v i_o and_o her_o husband_n send_v she_o to_o tell_v i_o that_o there_o be_v a_o lodging_n provide_v and_o prepare_v in_o his_o house_n by_o some_o christian_a friend_n for_o i_o and_o my_o wife_n i_o tell_v she_o my_o present_a condition_n and_o go_v along_o with_o she_o to_o her_o house_n and_o there_o she_o give_v i_o 20_o s._n which_o dr._n bastwick_n a_o late_a sufferer_n have_v give_v she_o for_o i_o and_o some_o linen_n for_o my_o wife_n which_o i_o receive_v and_o tell_v she_o and_o her_o husband_n i_o will_v fetch_v my_o wife_n and_o child_n and_o lodge_v there_o and_o so_o i_o return_v with_o great_a joy_n and_o my_o wife_n be_v very_o much_o affect_v with_o this_o mercy_n and_o divine_a providence_n be_v so_o suitable_a and_o seasonable_a a_o supply_n unto_o we_o and_o she_o say_v oh_o dear_a husband_n how_o sweet_a be_v it_o to_o live_v by_o faith_n and_o trust_v god_n upon_o his_o bare_a word_n let_v we_o rely_v upon_o he_o whilst_o we_o live_v and_o trust_v he_o in_o all_o strait_n with_o many_o such_o like_a expression_n and_o after_o we_o have_v return_v praise_n to_o god_n we_o go_v to_o our_o new_a lodging_n where_o we_o find_v all_o thing_n necessary_a provide_v for_o we_o and_o all_o charge_n pay_v for_o 15_o week_n and_o my_o wife_n be_v bruise_v much_o on_o shipboard_n have_v sore_o labour_n and_o lay_v under_o great_a weakness_n above_o ten_o week_n all_o which_o time_n two_o doctor_n a_o apothecary_n and_o a_o chirurgeon_n do_v daily_o attend_v she_o and_o administer_v unto_o she_o free_o without_o any_o money_n and_o at_o the_o end_n of_o 16_o week_n we_o
as_o his_o own_o must_v be_v do_v in_o general_a by_o let_v the_o christian_a reader_n know_v that_o this_o holy_a man_n life_n be_v all_o of_o a_o piece_n and_o that_o he_o maintain_v his_o zeal_n fidelity_n and_o integrity_n in_o the_o latter_a part_n of_o it_o as_o well_o as_o in_o the_o former_a even_o to_o the_o end_n of_o it_o he_o be_v not_o very_o long_o sick_a not_o keep_v his_o chamber_n above_o five_o week_n nor_o his_o bed_n above_o ten_o day_n all_o the_o time_n of_o his_o sickness_n he_o behave_v himself_o with_o extraordinary_a patience_n and_o resignation_n to_o the_o divine_a will_n long_v to_o be_v dissolve_v and_o to_o be_v with_o christ_n not_o so_o much_o to_o be_v free_v from_o pain_n and_o trouble_v as_o from_o sin_v which_o he_o express_v to_o one_o with_o he_o with_o a_o more_o than_o ordinary_a transport_n of_o joy_n a_o little_a before_o his_o death_n he_o write_v the_o follow_a epistle_n which_o he_o leave_v as_o his_o last_o legacy_n to_o the_o church_n mr._n knolly_n last_o legacy_n to_o the_o church_n write_v a_o little_a before_o his_o death_n to_o the_o church_n whereof_o i_o be_o pastor_n grace_n love_n and_o peace_n by_o jesus_n christ_n our_o lord_n and_o saviour_n amen_n holy_a brethren_n partaker_n of_o the_o heavenly_a call_v i_o not_o be_v able_a to_o preach_v any_o more_o unto_o you_o do_v take_v liberty_n by_o writing_n to_o give_v you_o this_o as_o my_o last_o counsel_n and_o i_o hope_v the_o whole_a church_n will_v serious_o consider_v what_o i_o have_v write_v as_o the_o last_o word_n of_o your_o very_a age_a pastor_n who_o departure_n as_o i_o hope_v be_v at_o hand_n first_o of_o all_o i_o do_v humble_o beseech_v my_o reverend_n and_o belove_a brother_n steed_n for_o christ_n sake_n that_o the_o fervent_a love_n to_o the_o church_n and_o the_o watchful_a care_n over_o the_o particular_a member_n of_o it_o express_v and_o publish_v in_o his_o little_a epistle_n touch_v sing_v may_v be_v revive_v and_o also_o that_o the_o brotherly_a love_n of_o the_o minister_a brethren_n and_o likewise_o of_o all_o my_o belove_a brethren_n who_o be_v help_n in_o government_n may_v be_v stir_v up_o to_o help_n to_o assist_v to_o provoke_v the_o rest_n unto_o good_a work_n gal._n 4.18_o now_o i_o do_v unfeigned_o and_o without_o vain_a boast_n commend_v many_o of_o you_o my_o belove_a brethren_n and_o sister_n for_o continue_v in_o the_o apostle_n doctrine_n and_o fellowship_n in_o break_v of_o bread_n and_o in_o prayer_n but_o as_o for_o the_o rest_n who_o forsake_v the_o assemble_v of_o themselves_o with_o rhe_n church_n on_o the_o lord_n day_n i_o commend_v they_o not_o especial_o not_o only_a in_o this_o time_n of_o liberty_n but_o when_o it_o be_v a_o time_n of_o violent_a persecution_n when_o i_o be_v shut_v up_o a_o year_n and_o four_o month_n bless_a be_v god_n for_o prison_n mercy_n in_o new-prison_n and_o have_v mention_v that_o time_n of_o persecution_n can_v i_o pass_v it_o by_o without_o commend_v the_o constant_a assemble_v of_o our_o brethren_n and_o sister_n all_o that_o time_n every_o lord_n day_n to_o worship_n god_n and_o may_v i_o not_o with_o great_a comfort_n commend_v the_o labour_n of_o love_n of_o our_o minister_a brethren_n in_o the_o work_n and_o doctrine_n of_o the_o gospel_n without_o cease_v as_o you_o well_o know_v and_o among_o who_o they_o still_o labour_v and_o faint_v not_o and_o now_o some_o of_o our_o young_a brethren_n begin_v to_o improve_v their_o gift_n and_o talent_n for_o the_o glory_n of_o god_n and_o the_o edification_n of_o the_o church_n who_o i_o desire_v may_v be_v encourage_v another_o thing_n very_o commendable_a in_o this_o church_n be_v the_o charity_n which_o they_o have_v add_v to_o their_o brotherly_a kindness_n 2_o pet._n 1.7_o it_o be_v great_a brotherly_a kindness_n which_o be_v manifest_v to_o the_o church_n by_o those_o brethren_n who_o look_v out_o our_o meetinghouse_n and_o prepare_v it_o for_o we_o as_o it_o now_o be_v and_o unto_o this_o many_o of_o our_o brethren_n and_o sister_n have_v add_v their_o charity_n in_o a_o free_a and_o very_o liberal_a collection_n and_o contribution_n give_v into_o the_o trustee_n of_o the_o fund_z and_o i_o hope_v they_o will_v be_v ready_a to_o do_v the_o like_a again_o when_o the_o like_a necessity_n call_v for_o it_o read_v i_o pray_v you_o the_o 8_o and_o 9th_o chapter_n of_o the_o second_o epistle_n unto_o the_o church_n of_o corinth_n all_o this_o and_o much_o more_o be_v the_o riches_n of_o grace_n which_o god_n have_v free_o give_v by_o our_o lord_n jesus_n christ_n unto_o this_o church_n for_o his_o own_o glory_n nevertheless_o i_o must_v in_o love_n and_o faithfulness_n to_o your_o precious_a and_o gracious_a soul_n holy_a and_o belove_a tell_v you_o of_o some_o thing_n not_o to_o shame_v you_o for_o i_o myself_o be_o find_v guilty_a as_o well_o as_o you_o and_o more_o than_o some_o of_o you_o but_o to_o warn_v you_o and_o to_o counsel_v you_o as_o a_o father_n do_v his_o child_n and_o they_o be_v these_o first_o that_o several_a of_o we_o be_v fall_v in_o some_o degree_n from_o our_o first_o love_n cool_v in_o our_o spiritual_a affection_n to_o jesus_n christ_n and_o to_o the_o saint_n must_v not_o you_o and_o i_o confess_v that_o it_o be_v not_o with_o we_o now_o as_o it_o be_v in_o the_o day_n of_o our_o first_o espousal_n god_n the_o father_n the_o word_n and_o the_o holy_a spirit_n remember_v it_o jer._n 2.1_o 2._o and_o we_o shall_v remember_v from_o whence_o we_o be_v fall_v and_o shall_v say_v i_o will_v go_v and_o return_v unto_o my_o first_o husband_n for_o than_o be_v it_o better_a with_o i_o than_o now_o hos_fw-la 2.7_o rev._n 2.4_o 5._o now_o the_o first_o part_n of_o my_o counsel_n which_o i_o desire_v to_o take_v and_o receive_v from_o christ_n and_o to_o give_v unto_o you_o my_o dear_o belove_a brethren_n and_o sister_n who_o be_v convince_v and_o have_v confess_v it_o before_o the_o lord_n on_o several_a day_n of_o fast_v and_o prayer_n first_o i_o do_v counsel_n you_o to_o repent_v rev._n 2.5_o and_o i_o must_v tell_v you_o beloved_n that_o our_o assemble_v once_o in_o four_o week_n and_o spend_v four_o hour_n from_o eleven_o to_o three_o in_o pray_v and_o preach_v as_o we_o have_v often_o do_v be_v not_o such_o a_o fast_a as_o will_v make_v our_o voice_n be_v hear_v on_o high_a isa_n 58.3_o 4._o several_a thing_n be_v essential_o necessary_a to_o evangelical_n repentance_n that_o it_o may_v be_v acceptable_a unto_o god_n by_o jesus_n christ_n namely_o godly_a sorrow_n which_o work_v repentance_n never_o to_o be_v repent_v of_o 2_o cor._n 7.9_o 10._o a_o break_a contrite_a spirit_n psal_n 51.17_o james_n 4.9_o 10._o isa_n 66.2_o 3._o isa_n 57.15_o read_v these_o scripture_n zech._n 12.10_o 11._o alas_o where_o be_v our_o tear_n of_o godly_a sorrow_n our_o break_a heart_n and_o our_o afflict_a soul_n reformation_n after_o humiliation_n repent_v and_o do_v thy_o first_o work_n rev._n 2.5_o o_o holy_a brethren_n let_v we_o do_v so_o let_v you_o and_o i_o beg_v grace_n that_o we_o may_v both_o mourn_v and_o turn_v from_o all_o our_o sin_n to_o the_o lord_n with_o all_o our_o heart_n we_o have_v cause_n to_o repent_v of_o our_o formality_n and_o laodicean_n lukewarmness_n especial_o for_o want_v of_o zeal_n for_o the_o house_n of_o god_n psal_n 69.9_o rev._n 3.19_o col._n 4.12_o 13._o joh._n 2.17_o second_o i_o counsel_v you_o to_o be_v zealous_a zeal_n be_v a_o fervent_a and_o constant_a affection_n of_o a_o gracious_a soul_n in_o a_o good_a thing_n manage_v with_o discretion_n gal._n 4.18_o if_o our_o zeal_n be_v not_o fix_v upon_o a_o right_a object_n and_o good_a matter_n it_o may_v be_v hot_a and_o great_a but_o it_o can_v be_v good_a compare_v the_o zeal_n of_o paul_n phil._n 3.6_o with_o the_o zeal_n of_o epaphras_n col._n 4.12_o 13._o to_o guide_v our_o zeal_n aright_o two_o thing_n especial_o aught_o to_o accompany_v it_o first_o the_o light_n of_o knowledge_n rom._n 10.1_o 2_o 3._o read_v the_o word_n again_o and_o again_o and_o as_o often_o as_o you_o read_v this_o paper_n many_o professor_n of_o the_o law_n then_o be_v very_o zealous_a of_o establish_v their_o own_o legal_a righteousness_n and_o many_o professor_n of_o the_o gospel_n now_o be_v as_o zealous_a to_o establish_v their_o own_o legal_a righteousness_n and_o not_o christ_n o_o say_v some_o if_o i_o can_v pray_v so_o mourn_v so_o as_o other_o do_v if_o i_o be_v so_o holy_a and_o so_o humble_a etc._n etc._n then_o i_o will_v believe_v o_o say_v other_o if_o i_o can_v get_v power_n over_o my_o corruption_n and_o strength_n against_o satan_n temptation_n and_o victory_n over_o the_o allurement_n of_o this_o present_a evil_a world_n than_o i_o
and_o pray_v god_n to_o pardon_v this_o and_o other_o our_o sin_n whereupon_o we_o both_o kneel_v down_o upon_o the_o plough_v land_n and_o i_o pray_v weep_v and_o make_v supplication_n to_o god_n as_o well_o as_o i_o can_v and_o find_v so_o great_a assistance_n from_o god_n at_o that_o time_n that_o i_o never_o use_v any_o set_a form_n of_o prayer_n afterward_o which_o do_v we_o both_o kiss_v each_o other_o and_o go_v to_o school_n afterward_o i_o go_v to_o cambridge_n and_o there_o a_o godly_a minister_n preach_v on_o hosea_n the_o 5_o chap._n and_o 17._o ver_fw-la his_o doctrine_n be_v that_o the_o join_n to_o sin_n by_o often_o commit_v it_o after_o conviction_n of_o conscience_n for_o it_o do_v provoke_v god_n to_o give_v over_o many_o to_o the_o power_n of_o their_o corruption_n and_o let_v they_o alone_o to_o die_v in_o their_o sin_n i_o be_v thereby_o convince_v that_o it_o be_v my_o case_n for_o i_o have_v oftentimes_o break_v the_o sabbath_n after_o conviction_n and_o i_o have_v disobey_v my_o parent_n and_o have_v often_o tell_v untruth_n the_o same_o lordsday_n at_o night_n another_o godly_a minister_n preach_v at_o five_o a_o clock_n upon_o eph._n 2.3_o and_o thereby_o i_o be_v much_o more_o convince_v of_o my_o sinful_a condition_n and_o that_o i_o be_v a_o child_n of_o wrath_n without_o christ_n and_o grace_n etc._n etc._n which_o work_v of_o conviction_n remain_v strong_o upon_o i_o above_o one_o year_n under_o which_o i_o be_v fill_v with_o great_a horror_n and_o fear_n of_o hell_n sore_a buffet_n and_o temptation_n of_o the_o devil_n and_o make_v to_o possess_v the_o sin_n of_o my_o youth_n but_o yet_o i_o pray_v daily_o hear_v all_o the_o godly_a minister_n i_o can_v read_v and_o search_v the_o holy_a scripture_n read_v good_a book_n get_v acquaintance_n with_o gracious_a christian_n then_o call_v puritan_n keep_v several_a day_n of_o fast_v and_o prayer_n alone_o wherein_o i_o do_v humble_a my_o soul_n for_o my_o sin_n and_o beg_v pardon_n and_o grace_n of_o god_n for_o christ_n sake_n grow_v strict_a in_o perform_v holy_a duty_n and_o in_o reformation_n of_o my_o own_o life_n examine_v myself_o every_o night_n confess_v my_o sin_n and_o mourn_v for_o they_o and_o have_v a_o great_a zeal_n for_o god_n and_o a_o indignation_n against_o actual_a sin_n both_o commit_v by_o myself_o and_o other_o june_n 29_o 1629._o i_o be_v ordain_v deacon_n and_o the_o next_o day_n june_n 30_o i_o be_v ordain_v presbyter_n by_o the_o bishop_n of_o peterborow_n have_v preach_v above_o 16_o sermon_n before_o i_o will_v be_v ordain_v by_o way_n of_o trial_n of_o my_o ability_n for_o that_o great_a work_n of_o the_o ministry_n after_o my_o ordination_n the_o bishop_n of_o lincoln_n give_v i_o a_o small_a live_n at_o humberstone_n where_o i_o preach_v twice_o every_o lord_n day_n and_o once_o every_o holiday_n that_o which_o make_v i_o strict_a and_o laborious_a in_o preach_v be_v partly_o the_o work_n of_o conviction_n upon_o my_o conscience_n but_o more_o especial_o a_o providential_a acquaintance_n that_o i_o have_v get_v with_o a_o very_a godly_a old_a widow_n in_o gainsburgh_n where_o i_o teach_v the_o free-school_n before_o i_o come_v to_o humberstone_n who_o tell_v i_o of_o one_o call_v a_o brownist_n who_o use_v to_o pray_v and_o expound_v scripture_n in_o his_o family_n who_o i_o go_v sometime_o to_o hear_v and_o with_o who_o i_o have_v conference_n and_o very_o good_a counsel_n whilst_o i_o be_v at_o humberstone_n there_o live_v a_o very_a religious_a widow_n who_o fall_v sick_a send_v for_o i_o and_o charge_v i_o that_o i_o will_v not_o depart_v her_o house_n on_o the_o daytime_n until_o she_o end_v or_o mend_v lest_o satan_n shall_v tempt_v she_o above_o her_o strength_n the_o doctor_n of_o physic_n have_v give_v she_o over_o some_o godly_a minister_n friend_n and_o relation_n do_v take_v leave_n of_o she_o as_o a_o die_a woman_n she_o receive_v nothing_o for_o several_a day_n but_o a_o little_a julep_n which_o be_v put_v into_o her_o mouth_n with_o a_o spoon_n and_o run_v most_o of_o it_o out_o again_o lay_v speechless_a two_o or_o three_o day_n her_o family_n mourn_v over_o she_o and_o expect_v her_o death_n every_o hour_n i_o have_v bring_v some_o of_o my_o book_n to_o her_o house_n and_o be_v study_v her_o funeral_n sermon_n and_o when_o i_o have_v almost_o finish_v the_o same_o the_o devil_n set_v upon_o i_o with_o a_o violent_a suggestion_n that_o the_o scripture_n be_v not_o the_o word_n of_o god_n he_o have_v suggest_v this_o temptation_n to_o i_o divers_a time_n before_o but_o prevail_v not_o now_o the_o tempter_n assault_v i_o with_o this_o argument_n whatever_o you_o ask_v in_o the_o name_n of_o christ_n god_n will_v do_v it_o but_o that_o scripture_n be_v not_o true_a and_o if_o i_o will_v put_v it_o now_o upon_o trial_n i_o shall_v find_v it_o not_o to_o be_v true_a for_o if_o i_o will_v ask_v the_o woman_n life_n in_o the_o name_n of_o christ_n god_n will_v not_o do_v it_o and_o thereby_o i_o shall_v know_v the_o scripture_n be_v not_o true_a nor_o be_v they_o the_o word_n of_o god_n for_o his_o word_n be_v true_a to_o which_o i_o answer_v satan_n thou_o be_v a_o liar_n a_o deceiver_n and_o a_o false_a accuser_n the_o holy_a scripture_n be_v the_o word_n of_o god_n and_o the_o scripture_n of_o truth_n and_o see_v thou_o have_v often_o tempt_v i_o in_o this_o kind_n and_o now_o do_v assault_v i_o again_o that_o i_o may_v for_o ever_o silence_v thou_o thou_o wicked_a and_o lie_a devil_n i_o will_v trust_v in_o god_n and_o act_v faith_n in_o the_o name_n of_o christ_n in_o that_o very_a word_n of_o his_o truth_n which_o thou_o have_v now_o suggest_v i_o will_v leave_v my_o study_n and_o go_v and_o pray_v for_o she_o and_o believe_v that_o god_n will_v hear_v my_o prayer_n through_o the_o intercession_n of_o jesus_n christ_n and_o restore_v her_o life_n and_o health_n that_o thou_o may_v be_v find_v a_o liar_n whereupon_o i_o go_v into_o the_o parlour_n where_o she_o lay_v speechless_a without_o any_o visible_a motion_n or_o use_v of_o any_o sense_n and_o i_o lock_v the_o door_n and_o candle_n be_v in_o the_o room_n i_o kneel_v down_o by_o her_o bedside_n and_o pray_v above_o half_a a_o hour_n use_v my_o voice_n and_o then_o she_o begin_v to_o stir_v toss_v and_o struggle_v so_o much_o that_o i_o be_v constrain_v to_o stand_v up_o and_o hold_v she_o in_o her_o bed_n still_o pray_v over_o she_o satan_n then_o give_v i_o a_o great_a interruption_n and_o suggest_v to_o i_o she_o be_v a_o die_a and_o these_o be_v the_o pang_n of_o death_n upon_o she_o i_o notwithstanding_o this_o assault_n of_o the_o devil_n be_v assist_v by_o the_o holy_a spirit_n to_o pray_v and_o believe_v still_o and_o in_o a_o short_a time_n she_o lay_v very_o quiet_o and_o i_o kneel_v down_o again_o and_o pray_v fervent_o and_o within_o half_a a_o hour_n whilst_o i_o be_v yet_o pray_v she_o say_v the_o lord_n have_v heal_v i_o i_o be_o restore_v to_o health_n then_o i_o return_v praise_n to_o god_n and_o she_o do_v join_v with_o i_o lift_v up_o her_o eye_n and_o hand_n still_o say_v i_o be_o heal_v then_o i_o rise_v up_o from_o my_o knee_n and_o ask_v she_o how_o she_o do_v o_o sir_n say_v she_o god_n have_v hear_v your_o prayer_n and_o have_v make_v i_o whole_a bless_a be_v his_o holy_a name_n then_o i_o unlock_v the_o door_n and_o some_o of_o her_o kinswoman_n and_o servant_n be_v at_o the_o door_n come_v in_o and_o ask_v i_o if_o she_o be_v dead_a to_o who_o i_o answer_v no._n then_o they_o ask_v i_o how_o she_o do_v i_o bid_v they_o go_v to_o she_o and_o ask_v herself_o she_o have_v be_v speechless_a four_o day_n i_o tell_v they_o she_o can_v speak_v now_o and_o as_o soon_o as_o they_o come_v to_o her_o bedside_n she_o lift_v up_o herself_o and_o say_v i_o be_o well_o the_o lord_n have_v hear_v prayer_n and_o heal_v i_o i_o be_o very_o weak_a and_o sore_a in_o my_o bone_n but_o i_o be_o in_o health_n i_o pray_v you_o give_v i_o something_o to_o eat_v and_o as_o soon_o as_o they_o bring_v she_o some_o broth_n she_o sit_v up_o and_o eat_v it_o and_o take_v some_o of_o she_o julep_n and_o from_o that_o time_n receive_v strength_n and_o the_o next_o day_n she_o do_v rise_v and_o walk_v with_o a_o staff_n which_o be_v hear_v of_o many_o godly_a minister_n and_o christian_n come_v to_o visit_v she_o and_o to_o know_v the_o truth_n of_o what_o be_v tell_v they_o touch_v her_o recovery_n i_o tell_v they_o it_o be_v not_o any_o thing_n in_o i_o but_o it_o be_v the_o lord_n that_o have_v do_v it_o for_o his_o own_o glory_n and_o to_o silence_n
satan_n who_o be_v never_o suffer_v to_o tempt_v i_o in_o that_o kind_n afterward_o god_n bruise_a satan_n under_o my_o foot_n and_o my_o lord_n jesus_n christ_n make_v a_o conquest_n of_o he_o and_o give_v i_o the_o victory_n and_o help_v i_o to_o give_v he_o the_o glory_n of_o it_o the_o next_o year_n after_o this_o i_o marry_v a_o wife_n with_o who_o i_o live_v 40_o year_n by_o who_o i_o have_v issue_n 7_o son_n and_o 3_o daughter_n who_o be_v a_o holy_a discreet_a woman_n and_o a_o meet_a help_n for_o i_o in_o the_o way_n of_o her_o household_n and_o also_o in_o the_o way_n of_o holiness_n who_o be_v my_o companion_n in_o all_o my_o suffering_n travel_n and_o hardship_n that_o we_o endure_v for_o the_o gospel_n she_o depart_v this_o life_n the_o 30_o of_o april_n 1671._o in_o full_a assurance_n of_o eternal_a life_n and_o salvation_n present_o after_o i_o be_v marry_v i_o be_v convince_v of_o some_o thing_n about_o the_o worship_n of_o god_n which_o i_o have_v conform_v unto_o to_o be_v sinful_a to_o wit_n the_o surplice_n the_o cross_n in_o baptism_n and_o admit_v wicked_a person_n to_o the_o lord_n supper_n whereupon_o i_o resign_v my_o live_n to_o the_o bishop_n who_o offer_v i_o a_o better_a live_n i_o tell_v he_o i_o can_v not_o conform_v any_o long_o and_o will_v do_v nothing_o but_o preach_v which_o he_o connive_v at_o for_o two_o or_o three_o year_n short_o after_o i_o be_v convince_v that_o my_o ordination_n receive_v from_o the_o bishop_n be_v not_o right_a and_o tho'_o i_o have_v preach_v some_o year_n by_o virtue_n of_o that_o ordination_n i_o have_v not_o receive_v any_o seal_n from_o christ_n of_o my_o ministry_n for_o tho'_o many_o have_v be_v reform_v and_o moralize_v yet_o i_o know_v not_o that_o i_o have_v be_v instrumental_a to_o convert_v any_o soul_n to_o god_n and_o thereupon_o i_o renounce_v that_o ordination_n and_o silence_v myself_o resolve_v not_o to_o preach_v any_o more_o until_o i_o have_v a_o clear_a call_n and_o commission_n from_o christ_n to_o preach_v the_o gospel_n and_o to_o that_o end_n i_o give_v myself_o to_o prayer_n day_n and_o night_n for_o several_a week_n together_o and_o at_o last_o be_v at_o prayer_n in_o a_o wood_n at_o woodenderby_n in_o lincolnshire_n where_o i_o have_v preach_v before_o and_o pray_v with_o loud_a cry_n and_o tear_n that_o christ_n will_v count_v i_o worthy_a and_o put_v i_o into_o the_o ministry_n and_o show_v i_o how_o to_o glorify_v god_n in_o the_o ministry_n and_o tho'_o i_o be_v much_o melt_v and_o enlarge_v in_o prayer_n at_o that_o time_n yet_o i_o have_v no_o answer_n from_o the_o lord_n after_o prayer_n i_o walk_v and_o meditate_a under_o the_o wood-side_n till_o sunset_n and_o then_o go_v homeward_o resolve_v not_o to_o preach_v till_o the_o lord_n make_v my_o call_n to_o that_o great_a work_n of_o preach_v the_o gospel_n clear_a to_o i_o and_o as_o i_o be_v go_v home_o a_o answer_n of_o my_o prayer_n be_v give_v to_o i_o in_o these_o word_n go_v to_o mr._n wheelwright_n and_o he_o shall_v tell_v thou_o and_o show_v thou_o how_o to_o glorify_v god_n in_o the_o ministry_n but_o i_o hear_v no_o voice_n nor_o do_v i_o see_v any_o vision_n only_o those_o word_n be_v plain_o and_o articulate_o speak_v into_o my_o ear_n and_o understanding_n at_o which_o i_o be_v astonish_v and_o say_v lord_n let_v i_o not_o be_v delude_v nor_o deceive_v then_o be_v bring_v to_o my_o mind_n that_o passage_n of_o cornelius_n send_v to_o peter_n who_o shall_v tell_v he_o what_o he_o shall_v do_v whereupon_o i_o be_v full_o persuade_v it_o be_v a_o answer_n of_o my_o prayet_n from_o the_o lord_n and_o i_o be_v fill_v with_o such_o joy_n that_o i_o go_v on_o my_o way_n rejoice_v leap_v and_o praise_v god_n the_o next_o morning_n go_v to_o seek_v out_o mr._n wheelwright_n who_o be_v a_o silence_a minister_n who_o i_o have_v hear_v of_o by_o some_o christian_n that_o he_o have_v be_v instrumental_a to_o convert_v many_o soul_n but_o i_o know_v he_o not_o nor_o do_v i_o know_v where_o he_o be_v but_o i_o be_v resolve_v to_o find_v he_o out_o for_o i_o have_v hear_v that_o he_o be_v near_o lincoln_n about_o 25_o mile_n from_o i_o where_o he_o live_v private_o and_o as_o i_o be_v get_v up_o on_o horseback_n one_o of_o my_o neighbour_n come_v by_o ask_v i_o whither_o i_o be_v ride_v to_o who_o i_o say_v i_o do_v not_o certain_o know_v i_o be_v go_v to_o mr._n wheelwright_n who_o be_v as_o i_o hear_v about_o lincoln_n no_o sald_v he_o mr._n wheelwhright_n and_o his_o family_n come_v to_o dwell_v at_o a_o village_n which_o be_v but_o three_o mile_n from_o my_o house_n for_z say_v he_o i_o see_v he_o come_v thither_o but_o three_o night_n since_o with_o his_o family_n and_o household_n good_n in_o a_o coach_n and_o a_o wagon_n thither_o i_o ride_v present_o and_o find_v it_o so_o and_o i_o tell_v mr._n wheelwright_n that_o yesternight_o i_o be_v pray_v as_o before_o and_o be_v send_v unto_o he_o by_o the_o lord_n etc._n etc._n and_o after_o he_o have_v ask_v i_o many_o thing_n about_o the_o work_n of_o god_n upon_o my_o soul_n and_o i_o have_v tell_v he_o he_o say_v i_o can_v not_o glorify_v god_n neither_o in_o the_o ministry_n nor_o in_o any_o other_o way_n or_o work_v for_o i_o be_v build_v my_o soul_n upon_o a_o covenant_n of_o work_n and_o be_v a_o stranger_n to_o the_o covenant_n of_o grace_n at_o which_o i_o be_v startle_v trouble_v and_o somewhat_o amaze_v but_o i_o tell_v he_o i_o be_v assure_v god_n have_v send_v i_o to_o he_o and_o by_o his_o mouth_n i_o shall_v be_v instruct_v how_o to_o glorify_v god_n in_o the_o ministry_n of_o the_o gospel_n and_o i_o do_v earnest_o entreat_v and_o beseech_v he_o to_o apply_v himself_o to_o give_v i_o his_o counsel_n and_o direction_n touch_v that_o matter_n then_o mr._n wheelwright_n open_v to_o i_o the_o nature_n of_o the_o covenant_n of_o free_a grace_n which_o i_o confess_v to_o he_o i_o be_v a_o stranger_n to_o in_o a_o great_a measure_n have_v be_v only_o under_o legal_a conviction_n and_o a_o spirit_n of_o bondage_n and_o though_o i_o have_v some_o discovery_n of_o my_o want_n of_o christ_n yet_o i_o have_v seek_v righteousness_n as_o it_o be_v by_o the_o work_v of_o the_o law_n and_o get_v my_o peace_n by_o perform_v duty_n and_o rest_v on_o they_o mr._n wheelwright_n desire_v i_o to_o consider_v what_o he_o have_v say_v to_o i_o and_o to_o come_v to_o he_o 2_o or_o 3_o day_n after_o so_o i_o leave_v he_o at_o that_o time_n and_o go_v home_o exceed_v sorrowful_a about_o my_o soul_n condition_n but_o i_o give_v myself_o to_o prayer_n and_o beg_v of_o god_n to_o teach_v i_o the_o covenant_n of_o grace_n and_o to_o that_o end_n i_o search_v the_o scripture_n and_o i_o hear_v one_o mr._n how_o preach_v upon_o gal._n 2.20_o i_o live_v by_o the_o faith_n of_o the_o son_n of_o god_n whereby_o i_o see_v that_o i_o have_v live_v a_o life_n of_o work_n and_o not_o of_o faith_n then_o i_o begin_v to_o see_v a_o necessity_n of_o believe_v in_o christ_n for_o pardon_n and_o salvation_n and_o hear_v the_o minister_n say_v that_o christ_n be_v the_o author_n root_n and_o only_a foundation_n of_o save_v faith_n and_o that_o god_n do_v give_v the_o faith_n of_o evidence_n heb._n 11.1_o in_o some_o new_a covenant_n promise_n gal._n 3.14_o and_o that_o those_o promise_n be_v give_v of_o god_n 2_o pet._n 1.4_o i_o pray_v that_o night_n and_o next_o morning_n and_o in_o the_o night_n season_n that_o god_n will_v give_v i_o such_o a_o promise_n the_o next_o day_n i_o lock_v myself_o in_o the_o church_n and_o in_o the_o chancel_n or_o choir_n so_o call_v i_o pray_v very_o earnest_o mourning_n and_o bemoan_v myself_o and_o my_o soul_n condition_n fear_v and_o with_o great_a brokenness_n of_o spirit_n and_o many_o tear_n express_v my_o fear_n that_o god_n will_v leave_v i_o and_o forsake_v i_o and_o then_o i_o shall_v utter_o perish_v for_o ever_o and_o then_o that_o promise_n heb._n 13.5_o i_o will_v never_o leave_v thou_o nor_o forsake_v thou_o be_v give_v i_o which_o promise_v stop_v i_o a_o little_a in_o prayer_n and_o i_o break_v forth_o into_o this_o kind_n of_o expostulation_n with_o god_n say_v lord_n who_o be_o i_o i_o be_o a_o vile_a sinful_a sinner_n the_o chief_a of_o sinner_n most_o unworthy_a of_o pardon_n and_o salvation_n how_o lord_n never_o leave_v i_o nor_o forsake_v i_o o_o infinite_a mercy_n oh_o free_a grace_n who_o be_o i_o i_o have_v be_v a_o graceless_a soul_n a_o formal_a professor_n a_o legal_a performer_n of_o holy_a duty_n and_o have_v go_v about_o to_o establish_v my_o own_o righteousness_n
body_n of_o several_a person_n who_o be_v sudden_o restore_v to_o health_n immediate_o in_o time_n of_o prayer_n with_o they_o or_o by_o and_o through_o faith_n in_o jesus_n christ_n especial_o in_o this_o city_n of_o london_n and_o of_o the_o sickness_n call_v the_o plague_n both_o in_o former_a year_n and_o in_o the_o year_n 1665._o not_o to_o i_o but_o to_o god_n be_v give_v glory_n and_o praise_n for_o in_o his_o name_n through_o faith_n in_o his_o name_n they_o be_v heal_v 3._o by_o enable_v i_o stand_v by_o i_o and_o strengthen_v i_o by_o his_o holy_a spirit_n and_o sanctify_a grace_n to_o preach_v the_o gospel_n in_o season_n and_o out_o of_o season_n with_o all_o boldness_n neither_o be_v ashamed_a nor_o afraid_a to_o bear_v my_o testimony_n for_o christ_n his_o gospel_n church_n ministry_n worship_n and_o ordinance_n against_o the_o antichristian_a power_n minister_n worshipper_n and_o tradition_n of_o the_o beast_n the_o great_a mystical_a whore_n and_o the_o false_a prophet_n nor_o have_v i_o be_v terrify_v by_o the_o adversary_n by_o virtue_n of_o the_o act_n of_o parliament_n touch_v private_a meeting_n and_o conventicle_n commence_v may_v the_o 10_o 1670._o i_o be_v take_v at_o a_o meeting_n in_o george-yard_n and_o the_o than_o lord_n mayor_n commit_v i_o to_o the_o compter_n in_o bishop_n gate_n for_o preach_v there_o but_o have_v favour_n in_o the_o eye_n of_o the_o keeper_n i_o have_v liberty_n to_o preach_v to_o the_o prisoner_n there_o twice_o every_o day_n of_o the_o week_n in_o the_o common_a hall_n where_o most_o of_o the_o prisoner_n come_v and_o hear_v i_o and_o some_o of_o they_o bless_a god_n that_o ever_o i_o come_v to_o that_o prison_n soon_o after_o i_o be_v set_v at_o liberty_n at_o the_o session_n in_o old-bailey_n god_n make_v i_o his_o prisoner_n by_o a_o sharp_a and_o painful_a distemper_n in_o my_o bowel_n call_v the_o gripe_a of_o the_o gut_n and_o he_o bring_v i_o near_o to_o the_o grave_a but_o in_o time_n of_o my_o great_a extremity_n god_n remember_v mercy_n forgive_v my_o iniquity_n heal_v my_o disease_n and_o restore_v my_o life_n from_o death_n no_o tongue_n can_v express_v my_o pain_n yet_o god_n give_v i_o much_o patience_n wherein_o i_o possess_v my_o soul_n i_o have_v 1._o a_o very_a clear_a discovery_n from_o the_o lord_n of_o the_o cause_n why_o he_o so_o contend_v with_o i_o one_o be_v the_o meritorious_a cause_n of_o some_o former_a visitation_n and_o especial_o of_o this_o sore_a disease_n 2._o i_o see_v the_o sin_n of_o my_o sinful_a nature_n which_o be_v not_o so_o crucify_a as_o that_o it_o be_v destroy_v but_o i_o find_v some_o motion_n of_o it_o of_o late_o stir_v in_o my_o sinful_a heart_n the_o sense_n of_o this_o be_v a_o very_a sore_a burden_n and_o trouble_v to_o my_o soul_n in_o this_o day_n of_o my_o calamity_n for_o which_o i_o mourn_v in_o secret_a before_o the_o lord_n and_o lay_v at_o the_o throne_n of_o grace_n loathe_v myself_o and_o beg_v that_o god_n will_v kill_v that_o sin_n and_o destroy_v it_o and_o all_o the_o rest_n of_o my_o sin_n and_o receive_v this_o answer_n his_o grace_n be_v sufficient_a for_o i_o he_o have_v pardon_v and_o he_o will_v subdue_v and_o destroy_v that_o and_o all_o other_o my_o iniquity_n according_a to_o his_o everlasting_a covenant_n of_o free_a grace_n satan_n be_v sometime_o very_o busy_a during_o this_o time_n of_o sickness_n and_o tempt_v i_o sore_o in_o the_o night_n season_n sometime_o suggest_v to_o i_o that_o i_o be_v but_o a_o hypocrite_n at_o other_o time_n that_o my_o evidence_n for_o heaven_n be_v not_o good_a who_o god_n help_v i_o to_o resist_v steadfast_o in_o the_o faith_n and_o he_o flee_v away_o another_o cause_n why_o the_o lord_n now_o contend_v with_o i_o be_v for_o the_o trial_n and_o exercise_n of_o my_o grace_n which_o he_o have_v give_v i_o it_o be_v the_o trial_n of_o my_o faith_n and_o the_o exercise_n of_o my_o patience_n and_o that_o i_o may_v be_v to_o his_o praise_n and_o a_o example_n unto_o weak_a believer_n who_o eye_n be_v upon_o i_o and_o be_v observe_v and_o harken_v how_o i_o do_v behave_v myself_o under_o all_o the_o great_a rebuke_n and_o chastisement_n of_o the_o lord_n upon_o i_o for_o they_o have_v hear_v that_o god_n have_v take_v one_o grandchild_n away_o by_o death_n and_o visited_n another_o who_o be_v above_o 16_o year_n old_a with_o the_o smallpox_n and_o she_o be_v likely_a to_o die_v and_o one_o son_n die_v and_o be_v bury_v during_o my_o sickness_n and_o my_o elder_a son_n be_v dead_a and_o bury_v in_o the_o country_n whereof_o i_o be_v tell_v before_o i_o be_v recover_v my_o other_o son_n wife_n have_v sore_a labour_n a_o dead-man-child_n and_o she_o likely_a to_o die_v and_o my_o dear_a love_a wife_n than_o begin_v to_o be_v sore_o afflict_v with_o a_o pain_n and_o swell_a in_o her_o face_n of_o which_o she_o since_o died._n but_o god_n do_v give_v a_o proportionable_a measure_n of_o faith_n and_o patience_n to_o i_o his_o poor_a unworthy_a servant_n under_o all_o this_o his_o fatherly_a chastisement_n he_o do_v strengthen_v i_o with_o strength_n in_o my_o soul_n and_o uphold_v i_o with_o the_o right_a hand_n of_o his_o righteousness_n so_o that_o i_o faint_v not_o nor_o be_v i_o weary_a his_o rod_n and_o his_o staff_n do_v comfort_v i_o he_o bring_v out_o my_o will_n unto_o a_o free_a submission_n subjection_n and_o resignation_n to_o his_o own_o most_o wise_a and_o holy_a will._n yea_o my_o facher_n visitation_n do_v so_o preserve_v my_o soul_n that_o i_o do_v sing_v and_o rejoice_v under_o the_o sight_n and_o smile_n of_o christ_n even_o whilst_o i_o be_v sigh_v and_o sorrow_v for_o my_o transgression_n two_o learned_a well_o practise_v and_o judicious_a doctor_n of_o physic_n have_v daily_o visit_v i_o and_o consult_v my_o cure_n sereral_a day_n together_o and_o i_o be_v full_o persuade_v that_o they_o do_v what_o possible_o they_o can_v to_o effect_v a_o cure_n and_o know_v also_o that_o god_n do_v not_o succeed_v their_o honest_a and_o faithful_a endeavour_n with_o his_o blessing_n although_o god_n have_v give_v a_o signal_n and_o singular_a testimony_n of_o his_o special_a blessing_n by_o each_o of_o they_o unto_o other_o of_o their_o patient_n at_o least_o sixteen_o at_o the_o same_o time_n i_o resolve_v to_o take_v no_o more_o physic_n but_o will_v apply_v to_o that_o holy_a ordinance_n of_o god_n appoint_v by_o jesus_n christ_n the_o great_a physician_n of_o value_n jam._n 5.14_o 15._o and_o i_o get_v mr._n kiffin_n &_o mr._n vavasor_n powel_n who_o pray_v over_o i_o and_o anoint_v i_o with_o oil_n in_o the_o name_n of_o the_o lord_n and_o the_o lord_n do_v hear_v prayer_n and_o heal_v i_o for_o there_o be_v very_o many_o godly_a minister_n and_o gracious_a saint_n that_o pray_v day_n and_o night_n for_o i_o with_o submission_n to_o the_o will_n of_o god_n that_o the_o lord_n will_v spare_v my_o life_n and_o heal_v i_o and_o make_v i_o more_o useful_a and_o serviceable_a to_o the_o lord_n to_o the_o church_n and_o to_o the_o saint_n who_o prayer_n god_n hear_v and_o as_o a_o answer_n of_o their_o prayer_n i_o be_v perfect_o heal_v but_o remain_v weak_a long_o after_o my_o dear_a wife_n remain_v weak_a and_o full_a of_o pain_n and_o be_v very_o great_o afflict_v with_o pain_n day_n and_o night_n but_o the_o lord_n give_v she_o a_o great_a measure_n of_o faith_n and_o patience_n even_o to_o the_o end_n she_o enjoy_v the_o light_n of_o god_n countenance_n have_v full_a assurance_n of_o god_n love_n the_o pardon_n of_o her_o sin_n and_o of_o eternal_a life_n and_o have_v patient_o endure_v six_o month_n sore_a pain_n upon_o the_o thirty_o of_o the_o second_o month_n call_v april_n 1671._o be_v the_o lord_n day_n about_o four_o or_o five_o a_o clock_n sleep_v in_o jesus_n i_o be_v do_v my_o master_n work_n at_o that_o time_n in_o the_o congregation_n and_o towards_o the_o end_n of_o my_o sermon_n have_v a_o strong_a impulse_n upon_o my_o spirit_n that_o my_o dear_a wife_n be_v depart_v and_o in_o my_o prayer_n after_o sermon_n be_v draw_v forth_o by_o faith_n to_o commend_v she_o to_o god_n that_o give_v she_o i_o and_o bless_v he_o for_o receive_v her_o soul_n into_o abraham_n bosom_n and_o place_v she_o among_o the_o spirit_n of_o just_a man_n make_v perfect_a in_o the_o paradise_n of_o god_n since_o the_o death_n of_o my_o dear_a wife_n it_o have_v please_v god_n to_o stretch_v forth_o his_o hand_n upon_o my_o only_a son_n then_o live_v and_o to_o afflict_v he_o with_o a_o deep_a consumption_n occasion_v as_o i_o judge_v by_o grief_n for_o his_o dear_o love_v and_o belove_a mother_n for_o he_o droop_v ever_o since_o she_o first_o be_v take_v ill_o of_o
that_o distemper_n of_o rheum_n which_o fall_v from_o her_o head_n into_o her_o face_n of_o which_o she_o die_v and_o he_o have_v be_v worse_o and_o worse_a ever_o since_o she_o die_v and_o i_o have_v have_v great_a expense_n and_o a_o great_a charge_n of_o dear_a relation_n and_o owe_v some_o considerable_a debt_n i_o be_v necessitate_v to_o teach_v school_n again_o in_o my_o old_a age_n that_o i_o may_v pay_v my_o debt_n succour_v my_o dear_a relation_n and_o not_o be_v too_o great_a a_o burden_n to_o the_o church_n of_o god_n and_o this_o i_o have_v willing_o and_o cheerful_o undertake_v that_o if_o persecution_n do_v come_v upon_o i_o again_o which_o i_o expect_v and_o prepare_v for_o and_o i_o shall_v be_v hale_v to_o prison_n or_o force_v to_o fly_v it_o may_v be_v my_o mercy_n and_o comfort_n as_o at_o all_o other_o time_n of_o my_o many_o removal_n in_o the_o day_n of_o my_o pilgrlmage_n and_o persecution_n that_o no_o person_n shall_v have_v any_o occasion_n to_o come_v to_o i_o and_o say_v pay_v i_o what_o you_o owe_v i_o before_o you_o go_v for_o i_o desire_v to_o owe_v no_o man_n any_o thing_n but_o love_n and_o honest_o to_o pay_v every_o man_n his_o own_o and_o if_o death_n seize_v on_o my_o body_n that_o i_o may_v leave_v enough_o of_o my_o own_o behind_o i_o to_o pay_v all_o my_o debt_n and_o a_o little_a for_o the_o relief_n of_o god_n poor_a and_o some_o of_o my_o poor_a natural_a relation_n i_o have_v a_o summon_v in_o june_n last_o to_o prepare_v myself_o for_o the_o grave_a by_o a_o sudden_a and_o sore_o fit_a of_o the_o wind-colic_n and_o vomit_v and_o on_o the_o 3d_o of_o october_n last_o 1671._o i_o have_v another_o summons_n to_o be_v ready_a to_o depart_v this_o life_n by_o another_o sudden_a more_o violent_a torment_a fit_a of_o the_o wind-colic_n and_o vomit_v and_o i_o be_o alarm_v by_o these_o awaken_n visitation_n of_o the_o lord_n to_o prepare_v and_o be_v ready_a that_o when_o my_o lord_n and_o master_n come_v or_o call_v for_o i_o to_o come_v to_o he_o i_o may_v be_v find_v so_o do_v that_o he_o may_v say_v well_o do_v thou_o good_a and_o faithful_a servant_n enter_z thou_o also_o into_o the_o joy_n of_o thy_o master_n the_o next_o trial_n my_o heavenly_a father_n see_v needful_a for_o i_o to_o be_v exercise_v under_o be_v the_o sickness_n and_o death_n of_o my_o then_o only_a live_a son_n my_o isaac_n my_o most_o love_a and_o belove_a son_n who_o be_v translate_v the_o 15_o day_n of_o november_n 1671._o which_o great_a trial_n and_o loss_n god_n make_v gain_v to_o he_o and_o easy_a to_o i_o by_o a_o manifest_a and_o powerful_a work_n of_o conversion_n repentance_n and_o faith_n upon_o his_o soul_n in_o the_o time_n of_o his_o sickness_n which_o administer_v much_o comfort_n to_o i_o so_o that_o i_o sorrow_v not_o for_o he_o as_o one_o without_o hope_n who_o exercise_v very_o great_a patience_n under_o his_o very_a great_a pain_n soreness_n and_o burn_a fever_n whilst_o his_o flesh_n marrow_n and_o moisture_n consume_v and_o act_v faith_n and_o hope_n very_o lively_a and_o constant_o upon_o christ_n in_o that_o word_n john_n 6.37_o and_o he_o that_o come_v to_o i_o i_o will_v in_o no_o wise_a cast_v off_o very_o often_o express_v his_o former_a bondage_n and_o slavery_n to_o sin_n and_o satan_n which_o he_o bewail_v and_o acknowledge_v often_o god_n free_a and_o rich_a grace_n in_o give_v he_o christ_n and_o pardon_n and_o salvation_n now_o at_o last_o which_o he_o have_v neglect_v the_o offer_n and_o tender_v of_o so_o often_o some_o combat_n he_o have_v but_o after_o a_o manifestation_n of_o christ_n to_o his_o soul_n he_o die_v in_o faith_n and_o peace_n and_o albeit_o my_o natural_a affection_n cause_v i_o to_o weep_v often_o and_o the_o sense_n of_o god_n hand_n &_o rod_n upon_o i_o cause_v i_o to_o mourn_v very_o much_o in_o secret_a yet_o the_o almighty_a by_o his_o rod_n and_o staff_n do_v so_o comfort_v i_o that_o i_o walk_v through_o this_o valley_n also_o of_o the_o shadow_n of_o death_n without_o fear_n of_o evil_a and_o be_v assist_v and_o enable_v to_o perform_v the_o work_n of_o my_o ministry_n in_o the_o congregation_n without_o any_o omission_n or_o interruption_n and_o that_o very_a night_n my_o only_a son_n die_v the_o lord_n bring_v to_o my_o mind_n that_o scripture_n mic._n 7.14_o feed_v thy_o people_n with_o thy_o rod_n which_o be_v make_v a_o seasonable_a suitable_a and_o powerful_a word_n by_o the_o teach_n of_o the_o holy_a spirit_n unto_o my_o soul_n in_o my_o solitary_a condition_n who_o thus_o administer_v food_n yea_o and_o a_o feast_n also_o to_o my_o soul_n for_o by_o this_o rod_n of_o god_n i_o have_v serve_v into_o my_o soul_n a_o dish_n of_o sour_a or_o bitter_a herb_n i_o mean_v sorrow_n for_o my_o sin_n but_o i_o feed_v also_o on_o the_o paschal_n lamb_n in_o whole_a blood_n i_o see_v all_o my_o sin_n wash_v away_o and_o the_o spirit_n of_o god_n witness_v with_o my_o spirit_n that_o i_o be_v the_o child_n of_o god_n and_o one_o of_o those_o child_n with_o who_o god_n will_v keep_v covenant_n and_o not_o take_v away_o his_o love_n from_o i_o though_o he_o visit_v my_o transgression_n with_o the_o rod_n and_o my_o iniquity_n with_o stripe_n psal_n 89.28_o 34._o which_o scripture_n be_v then_o bring_v again_o with_o power_n upon_o my_o heart_n the_o next_o dish_n of_o spiritual_a food_n under_o this_o rod_n which_o god_n bring_v i_o or_o send_v i_o by_o his_o spirit_n in_o his_o word_n to_o feed_v upon_o be_v full_a of_o love_n then_o that_o holy_a scripture_n come_v to_o i_o not_o in_o word_n only_o rev._n 3.19_o 20._o but_o in_o power_n and_o in_o the_o spirit_n and_o in_o much_o assurance_n wherein_o in_o he_o show_v i_o his_o face_n and_o i_o see_v my_o father_n face_n in_o that_o glass_n of_o the_o gospel_n heb._n 12.6_o 7._o which_o the_o holy_a spirit_n hold_v forth_o to_o i_o by_o this_o rod_n and_o shed_v abroad_o in_o my_o heart_n the_o love_n of_o the_o father_n in_o his_o son_n jesus_n christ_n after_o this_o the_o next_o day_n god_n give_v i_o a_o dish_n of_o spiritual_a fruit_n by_o this_o rod_n to_o feed_v upon_o serve_v up_o in_o that_o holy_a scripture_n no_o affliction_n at_o the_o present_a be_v joyous_a but_o grievous_a but_o the_o fruit_n thereof_o shall_v be_v peace_n and_o righteousness_n to_o they_o that_o have_v be_v exercise_v therein_o and_o after_o god_n have_v thus_o feed_v i_o feast_v i_o several_a day_n and_o night_n together_o with_o this_o his_o rod_n he_o very_o gracious_o pronounce_v his_o blessing_n upon_o i_o by_o his_o rod_n in_o these_o word_n blessed_n be_v the_o man_n who_o thou_o correct_a and_o teach_v out_o of_o thy_o law_n or_o word_n unto_o which_o i_o be_v help_v hearty_o to_o say_v amen_o it_o be_v good_a for_o i_o to_o be_v and_o that_o i_o have_v be_v afflict_v etc._n etc._n and_o after_o god_n have_v commune_v with_o i_o from_o his_o mercy-seat_n and_o have_v instruct_v i_o i_o experience_v such_o divine_a love_n shining_n and_o spiritual_a sweetness_n as_o jonathan_n do_v when_o he_o taste_v a_o little_a honey-dew_n on_o the_o end_n of_o the_o rod_n in_o his_o hand_n and_o be_v enlighten_v and_o refresh_v so_o that_o i_o be_v enliven_v or_o revive_v feed_v and_o feast_v by_o the_o rod_n and_o word_n even_o the_o bond_n of_o god_n everlasting_a covenant_n of_o free_a grace_n and_o love_n about_o 4_o or_o 5_o month_n after_o the_o death_n of_o my_o son_n his_o wife_n marry_v a_o gentleman_n of_o 300_o l._n per_fw-la annum_fw-la and_o leave_v i_o engage_v to_o receive_v and_o pay_v all_o my_o son_n debt_n and_o to_o preserve_v his_o credit_n and_o his_o wife_n be_v i_o borrow_v 200_o l._n to_o help_v to_o pay_v his_o debt_n and_o suffer_v the_o loss_n thereof_o which_o necessitate_v i_o still_o to_o keep_v school_n to_o pay_v my_o debt_n and_o i_o have_v a_o granddaughter_n with_o i_o three_o year_n before_o she_o be_v nineteen_o year_n old_a do_v take_v the_o charge_n of_o my_o houshold-affair_n and_o of_o my_o boarder_n who_o manage_v all_o thing_n with_o so_o much_o discretion_n that_o my_o life_n be_v very_o comfortable_a and_o i_o have_v great_a content_a in_o septemb_n 1672._o my_o only_a daughter_n husband_n go_v by_o her_o consent_n into_o the_o country_n and_o leave_v she_o thus_o far_o be_v write_v with_o his_o own_o hand_n and_o there_o we_o must_v be_v force_v to_o break_v off_o though_o abrupt_o the_o remain_a part_n of_o his_o life_n write_v by_o himself_o as_o this_o be_v be_v as_o mr._n kiffin_n mention_n in_o his_o preface_n unhappy_o lose_v which_o because_o it_o be_v impossible_a to_o be_v supply_v by_o any_o hand_n so_o particular_o