shall_v be_v a_o honour_n to_o the_o family_n and_o a_o man_n of_o no_o ordinary_a figure_n in_o the_o orb_n of_o the_o church_n chap._n iii_o set_v forth_o the_o spirit_n of_o bondage_n seize_v i_o in_o the_o very_a height_n of_o my_o confidence_n of_o be_v in_o a_o good_a and_o sure_a state_n of_o salvation_n what_o sad_a work_n it_o make_v with_o i_o and_o what_o mean_v i_o use_v for_o help_n and_o relief_n under_o its_o kill_n and_o sink_a weight_n when_o i_o be_v about_o twenty_o one_o year_n of_o age_n in_o the_o very_a heat_n and_o height_n of_o my_o zeal_n in_o prosecute_a that_o righteousness_n consist_v of_o that_o negative_a and_o positive_a obedience_n which_o the_o law_n moral_n enjoin_v and_o require_v as_o the_o condition_n of_o life_n and_o salvation_n it_o please_v god_n to_o send_v forth_o the_o spirit_n of_o bondage_n to_o seize_v i_o to_o the_o end_n i_o may_v be_v instruct_v and_o full_o convince_v how_o vain_a my_o confidence_n of_o be_v save_v and_o go_v to_o heaven_n in_o that_o self_n please_a way_n of_o legal_a righteousness_n be_v the_o manner_n of_o it_o be_v thus_o be_v on_o the_o day_n call_v easter_n monday_n at_o my_o cathedral_n devotion_n in_o the_o place_n call_v christ_n church_n in_o dublin_n a_o place_n i_o constant_o frequent_v to_o morning_n and_o evening_n service_n and_o a_o place_n which_o i_o more_o zaelous_o love_v and_o venerate_v than_o any_o place_n in_o the_o world_n beside_o for_o that_o i_o very_o conceit_v in_o myself_o it_o be_v as_o the_o very_a entrance_n into_o heaven_n itself_o after_o the_o service_n be_v end_v one_o dr._n golborn_n preach_v his_o text_n be_v in_o ephes_n 5._o 14._o wherefore_o he_o say_v awake_v thou_o that_o sleep_v and_o arise_v from_o the_o dead_a and_o christ_n shall_v give_v thou_o light_n a_o good_a and_o choice_a text_n but_o how_o well_o or_o ill_o handle_v i_o must_v acknowledge_v myself_o to_o have_v be_v at_o that_o time_n a_o very_a incompetent_a judge_n to_o say_v or_o determine_v about_o the_o middle_n of_o the_o sermon_n as_o near_o as_o i_o can_v guess_v there_o be_v dart_v into_o my_o mind_n this_o sad_a and_o kill_a thought_n viz._n that_o i_o have_v the_o day_n before_o receive_v the_o sacrament_n unworthy_o which_o sad_a thought_n be_v back_v with_o that_o of_o 1_o cor._n 11._o 29_o for_o he_o that_o eat_v and_o drink_v unworthy_o eat_v and_o drink_v damnation_n to_o himself_o not_o descern_v the_o lord_n body_n this_o sad_a and_o dismal_a thought_n back_v as_o i_o say_v with_o that_o scripture_n just_a now_o quote_v not_o any_o word_n speak_v by_o the_o preacher_n be_v that_o which_o seize_v my_o mind_n and_o let_v in_o the_o spirit_n of_o bondage_n upon_o i_o no_o soon_o have_v i_o look_v this_o 〈◊〉_d 〈◊〉_d 〈◊〉_d 〈◊〉_d 〈◊〉_d oâ—_n forerunner_n of_o the_o spirit_n of_o bondage_n in_o the_o face_n compare_v it_o with_o the_o place_n already_o mention_v but_o i_o conclude_v myself_o a_o lose_a and_o a_o undo_v man_n my_o spirit_n be_v in_o such_o a_o amaze_a fright_v and_o over_o whelming_a consternation_n to_o think_v that_o i_o be_v most_o certain_o damn_a to_o all_o intent_n and_o purpose_n that_o indeed_o i_o very_o think_v all_o the_o people_n in_o the_o place_n be_v a_o swarm_n or_o a_o legion_n of_o devil_n which_o god_n in_o revengeful_a wrath_n have_v send_v from_o the_o bottomless_a pit_n to_o guard_v and_o attend_v my_o guilty_a soul_n thither_o the_o apprehension_n i_o have_v of_o be_v damn_a and_o send_v to_o hell_n so_o rack_v and_o torment_v my_o spirit_n that_o i_o find_v myself_o unable_a to_o stay_v till_o sermon_n be_v end_v away_o i_o run_v out_o of_o that_o place_n to_o shun_v as_o i_o then_o think_v those_o swarm_n of_o devil_n which_o i_o strong_o conceive_v be_v to_o guard_v i_o to_o hell_n as_o soon_o as_o i_o come_v to_o my_o lord_n of_o santry_n where_o i_o than_o live_v i_o enter_v my_o chamber_n with_o a_o sad_a and_o heavy_a heart_n god_n know_v to_o my_o knee_n i_o go_v with_o a_o intent_n to_o pray_v if_o so_o be_v there_o may_v be_v any_o scrap_n of_o hope_n of_o my_o escape_v being_n eternal_o damn_a but_o alas_o what_o tongue_n or_o pen_n can_v relate_v the_o pass_n and_o condition_n i_o be_v then_o at_o my_o reason_n my_o conscience_n and_o my_o very_a speech_n be_v as_o it_o be_v plunge_v and_o drown_v in_o the_o gulf_n of_o despair_n so_o that_o i_o can_v neither_o utter_v a_o word_n in_o prayer_n nor_o yet_o consider_v what_o i_o shall_v do_v to_o relieve_v my_o bleed_a soul_n in_o that_o sore_a distress_n i_o dare_v not_o abide_v in_o my_o chamber_n fear_v to_o see_v and_o feel_v the_o devil_n actual_o to_o seize_v i_o to_o the_o minister_n of_o the_o parish_n i_o go_v from_o who_o hand_n i_o receive_v the_o sacrament_n but_o the_o day_n before_o not_o know_v but_o that_o he_o may_v administer_v some_o kind_n of_o relief_n to_o one_o in_o my_o condition_n he_o observe_v the_o gastliness_n of_o my_o look_n and_o take_v notice_n that_o somewhat_o ail_v i_o he_o ask_v i_o how_o i_o do_v to_o which_o i_o can_v not_o reply_v he_o press_v to_o know_v what_o the_o matter_n be_v i_o at_o length_n in_o a_o very_a abrupt_a and_o break_a manner_n tell_v he_o that_o i_o be_v full_a of_o the_o apprehension_n and_o fear_n that_o i_o be_v a_o damn_a man_n and_o that_o there_o be_v no_o hope_n of_o mercy_n for_o such_o a_o one_o as_o i_o be_v the_o minister_n somewhat_o surprise_v at_o so_o sudden_a and_o so_o great_a a_o change_n since_o but_o the_o day_n before_o he_o begin_v to_o examine_v what_o great_a and_o heinous_a sin_n one_o of_o my_o age_n and_o one_o in_o so_o encourage_v circumstance_n as_o i_o be_v in_o can_v be_v guilty_a of_o which_o shall_v occasion_v such_o sad_a despair_n he_o mention_v some_o text_n of_o scripture_n thereby_o hope_v to_o have_v give_v some_o relief_n to_o my_o weary_a gasp_a soul_n but_o all_o in_o vain_a god_n time_n of_o heal_v i_o be_v not_o yet_o come_v and_o find_v by_o my_o frequent_a come_n to_o he_o for_o ease_n and_o comfort_n to_o how_o little_a purpose_n he_o have_v labour_v with_o i_o he_o at_o length_n advise_v i_o to_o ride_v into_o the_o country_n to_o visit_v my_o father_n and_o other_o relation_n and_o by_o that_o mean_n as_o also_o by_o exercise_v myself_o with_o such_o exercise_n as_o i_o former_o delight_v in_o as_o shoot_v with_o the_o gun_n and_o angle_a to_o divert_v my_o melancholy_a thought_n this_o i_o be_v glad_a to_o hear_v of_o my_o own_o inclination_n lead_v so_o strong_o to_o it_o in_o order_n to_o the_o effect_n of_o which_o i_o address_v myself_o to_o my_o lord_n housekeeper_n entreat_v she_o to_o acquaint_v my_o lord_n that_o in_o regard_n of_o some_o present_a indisposition_n under_o which_o i_o labour_v and_o in_o order_n to_o my_o health_n i_o have_v not_o only_o a_o inclination_n but_o be_v advise_v to_o visit_v my_o father_n in_o the_o country_n in_o order_n whereto_o i_o think_v it_o convenient_a to_o acquaint_v his_o lordship_n therewith_o to_o the_o end_n i_o may_v obtain_v not_o only_o his_o lordship_n free_a consent_n but_o also_o the_o liberty_n of_o a_o horse_n to_o perform_v my_o intend_a journey_n the_o housekeeper_n no_o soon_o deliver_v my_o request_n to_o my_o lord_n but_o my_o lord_n command_v she_o to_o call_v i_o up_o into_o his_o chamber_n as_o soon_o as_o i_o receive_v the_o command_n i_o fall_v immediate_o into_o a_o great_a sweat_n and_o sore_o tremble_v up_o i_o go_v and_o be_v enter_v into_o the_o chamber_n my_o lord_n lock_v the_o chamber_n door_n and_o lay_v his_o hat_n on_o a_o cabinet_n sit_v down_o in_o his_o chair_n and_o with_o a_o earnest_n and_o pierce_a eye_n look_v on_o a_o pretty_a while_n before_o he_o speak_v i_o all_o the_o while_n sweat_v and_o quake_v at_o length_n my_o lord_n begin_v with_o james_n what_o ail_v you_o what_o be_v the_o matter_n i_o hear_v you_o go_v private_o to_o minister_n there_o be_v somewhat_o ail_v you_o what_o be_v it_o i_o perceive_v by_o my_o lord_n discourse_n that_o the_o minister_n of_o the_o parish_n have_v acquaint_v my_o lord_n with_o my_o case_n i_o find_v myself_o far_o more_o uneasy_a than_o before_o my_o sweat_n and_o trembleing_n of_o soul_n increase_a upon_o i_o my_o lord_n continue_v query_v what_o ail_v you_o james_n tell_v i_o what_o be_v the_o matter_n i_o be_v so_o overwhelm_v in_o my_o spirit_n that_o my_o speech_n be_v swallow_v up_o as_o job_n say_v job_n 6._o 3._o but_o my_o lord_n not_o let_v i_o alone_o but_o with_o earnest_a importunity_n press_v to_o know_v what_o i_o ail_v i_o at_o length_n as_o a_o poor_a condemn_a caitiff_n hang_v by_o a_o
felicity_n when_o at_o any_o time_n i_o hear_v they_o talk_v boast_o of_o the_o honour_n and_o credit_n of_o the_o family_n i_o can_v not_o forbear_v express_v my_o contempt_n of_o the_o same_o tell_v they_o to_o their_o very_a face_n that_o the_o blood_n of_o jesus_n not_o the_o blood_n of_o my_o progenitor_n according_a to_o the_o flesh_n be_v that_o which_o make_v i_o noble_a and_o true_o honourable_a and_o that_o he_o or_o she_o who_o be_v advance_v to_o the_o high_a degree_n of_o honour_n whereto_o a_o earthly_a king_n can_v possible_o advance_v and_o be_v not_o wash_v in_o the_o lamb_n blood_n the_o high_a their_o honour_n and_o greatness_n be_v the_o great_a and_o more_o intolerable_a will_v be_v the_o doom_n and_o condemnaton_n of_o such_o when_o by_o death_n they_o go_v hence_o now_o i_o begin_v to_o disrelish_v and_o discover_v what_o small_a èsteem_n i_o have_v of_o the_o liturgy_n and_o ceremony_n of_o the_o church_n of_o which_o i_o have_v former_o be_v so_o extreme_o zealous_a three_o thing_n chief_o occasion_v this_o first_o the_o apprehension_n i_o have_v of_o the_o purity_n and_o holiness_n of_o god_n nature_n which_o require_v a_o worship_n suit_v to_o his_o own_o pure_a and_o spiritual_a be_v according_a to_o that_o in_o joh._n 4._o 24._o second_o i_o considere_v that_o no_o worship_n can_v possible_o find_v acceptance_n with_o god_n but_o such_o a_o worship_n as_o be_v stamp_v with_o god_n own_o institution_n which_o i_o be_v then_o apprehensive_a and_o be_o now_o more_o full_o convince_v the_o liturgy_n and_o ceremony_n of_o the_o church_n be_v not_o the_o same_o be_v devise_v by_o man_n and_o impose_v by_o human_a authority_n without_o any_o the_o least_o warrant_n from_o the_o word_n of_o god_n according_a to_o esa_n 8._o 20._o esa_n 29._o 13._o mat._n 15._o 8._o 9_o three_o the_o sad_a experience_n i_o have_v of_o the_o vusuitableness_n of_o such_o a_o worship_n to_o a_o awaken_v and_o a_o renew_a soul_n while_o i_o be_v in_o a_o natural_a state_n ignorant_a of_o god_n and_o the_o nature_n of_o my_o soul_n and_o thing_n true_o spiritual_a i_o be_v exceed_v zealous_a in_o do_v and_o perform_v that_o service_n which_o now_o i_o find_v be_v of_o little_a avail_n either_o to_o a_o please_a god_n or_o profit_v a_o awaken_v conscience_n the_o spirit_n of_o god_n have_v in_o effectual_a call_v teach_v and_o convince_v i_o that_o no_o worship_n or_o ordinance_n in_o religion_n can_v be_v food_n to_o nourish_v and_o satisfy_v a_o hungry_a soul_n but_o such_o worship_n as_o be_v institute_v by_o and_o suit_v to_o please_v god_n god_n will_v be_v find_v saving_o of_o none_o but_o those_o who_o seek_v he_o in_o the_o way_n of_o his_o own_o institution_n according_a to_o prov._n 8._o 32._o 1_o pet._n 2._o 2._o soon_o after_o this_o the_o care_n and_o providence_n of_o christ_n my_o chief_a sheppard_n direct_v i_o to_o attend_v the_o ministry_n of_o mr._n samuel_n mather_n with_o who_o i_o afterward_o sit_v down_o in_o full_a communion_n to_o my_o soul_n great_a comfort_n and_o edification_n in_o the_o knowledge_n of_o christ_n notice_n be_v take_v in_o the_o family_n where_o i_o live_v that_o i_o discontinue_v go_v to_o the_o cathedral_n worship_n the_o which_o i_o common_o attend_v with_o a_o more_o than_o ordinary_a zeal_n sometime_o three_o time_n and_o sometime_o four_o time_n in_o the_o same_o day_n and_o that_o i_o be_v not_o see_v at_o the_o parish_n church_n on_o sabbath_n day_n or_o at_o the_o sacrament_n as_o i_o use_v to_o do_v the_o eye_n of_o my_o observer_n be_v upon_o i_o to_o watch_v i_o what_o way_n i_o take_v in_o religion_n innumerable_a be_v the_o taunt_n and_o scoff_v cast_v on_o that_o way_n of_o worship_n which_o i_o have_v espouse_v and_o close_v with_o through_o all_o which_o i_o be_v carry_v with_o invincible_a courage_n many_o and_o sharp_a be_v the_o combat_n wherewith_o i_o encounter_v from_o my_o own_o relation_n especial_o the_o lord_n of_o santry_n in_o who_o family_n i_o then_o live_v and_o my_o father_n his_o brother_n who_o by_o their_o authority_n over_o i_o and_o the_o greatness_n of_o their_o learning_n and_o part_n between_o which_o and_o i_o there_o be_v no_o more_o compare_n than_o between_o the_o sun_n and_o a_o little_a twinkle_a star_n do_v frequent_o attack_v i_o to_o bring_v i_o back_o to_o the_o forsake_v church_n of_o england_n but_o all_o in_o vain_a one_o time_n above_o all_o other_o my_o lord_n observe_v that_o i_o absent_v not_o only_o the_o public_a worship_n but_o that_o of_o his_o family_n also_o send_v up_o his_o secretary_n another_o brother_n son_n to_o call_v i_o to_o prayer_n in_o the_o family_n on_o night_n my_o cousin_n deliver_v my_o lord_n command_v i_o reply_v that_o i_o be_v under_o some_o indisposition_n and_o therefore_o pray_v my_o cousin_n to_o excuse_v i_o to_o my_o lord_n down_o he_o go_v and_o no_o soon_o have_v he_o deliver_v my_o answer_n but_o up_o he_o come_v again_o with_o the_o same_o message_n from_o my_o lord_n i_o throw_v he_o off_o the_o second_o time_n with_o the_o same_o excuse_v allege_v that_o i_o can_v not_o come_v this_o answer_v bring_v to_o my_o lord_n the_o second_o time_n he_o in_o a_o great_a rage_n send_v up_o my_o cousin_n with_o a_o peremptory_a command_n that_o i_o must_v come_v to_o prayer_n my_o cousin_n stand_v some_o considerable_a time_n expect_v that_o i_o will_v answer_v my_o lord_n peremptory_a command_n but_o my_o answer_n be_v that_o see_v my_o lord_n have_v so_o plain_o impose_v on_o my_o conscience_n in_o command_v i_o to_o act_n against_o my_o conscience_n i_o think_v it_o be_v my_o duty_n to_o declare_v that_o until_o i_o better_o understand_v it_o to_o be_v my_o duty_n to_o obey_v his_o lordship_n in_o a_o thing_n of_o this_o nature_n than_o as_o yet_o i_o do_v i_o neither_o can_v nor_o will_v go_v to_o join_v in_o prayer_n with_o the_o family_n this_o reply_n come_v to_o my_o lord_n ear_n he_o let_v i_o alone_o for_o that_o night_n the_o next_o day_n my_o lord_n take_v i_o to_o task_n examine_v very_o strict_o and_o demand_v of_o i_o a_o reason_n wherefore_o i_o come_v not_o to_o prayer_n with_o the_o family_n see_v they_o never_o use_v the_o common-prayer_n in_o the_o family_n to_o who_o i_o make_v this_o reply_n my_o lord_n it_o be_v not_o from_o any_o aversion_n i_o have_v to_o prayer_n that_o keep_v i_o back_o from_o come_v to_o prayer_n with_o the_o family_n but_o the_o great_a dissatisfaction_n lodge_v in_o my_o conscience_n for_o my_o lord_n say_v i_o shall_v i_o under_o my_o present_a light_n and_o conviction_n go_v on_o my_o knee_n to_o join_v in_o such_o a_o service_n where_o god_n be_v so_o notorious_o dishonour_v and_o his_o glorious_a name_n so_o great_o profane_v my_o conscience_n will_v like_o a_o flame_n of_o fire_n fly_v in_o my_o face_n the_o lord_n then_o demand_v of_o i_o what_o i_o can_v object_n against_o the_o service_n perform_v in_o the_o family_n to_o who_o i_o reply_v that_o the_o chief_a objection_n i_o make_v be_v against_o the_o person_n who_o perform_v the_o service_n the_o lord_n demand_v what_o i_o have_v to_o object_n against_o the_o person_n who_o pray_v in_o the_o family_n to_o who_o i_o reply_v that_o i_o object_v against_o he_o for_o two_o thing_n first_o that_o he_o be_v a_o rot_a arminian_n deny_v the_o doctrine_n of_o election_n and_o justification_n by_o the_o alone_o impute_v righteousness_n of_o the_o son_n of_o god_n and_o that_o he_o also_o hold_v fall_v from_o grace_n second_o for_o that_o he_o be_v in_o his_o life_n and_o conversation_n a_o notorious_a drunkard_n and_o a_o common_a curser_n and_o swearer_n etc._n etc._n my_o lord_n then_o demand_v why_o i_o do_v not_o come_v to_o family_n prayer_n when_o his_o son_n james_n say_v prayer_n reader_n thou_o must_v know_v that_o when_o the_o chaplain_n will_v be_v drink_v and_o ryot_v abroad_o sometime_o my_o lord_n son_n will_v be_v command_v to_o read_v one_o of_o the_o evening_n prayer_n at_o the_o end_n of_o some_o bibles_n to_o this_o i_o answer_v that_o his_o son_n be_v but_o a_o child_n and_o do_v not_o understand_v what_o he_o read_v lord_n have_v mercy_n on_o i_o say_v my_o lord_n who_o will_v you_o have_v pray_v in_o my_o family_n my_o lord_n say_v i_o i_o humble_o conceive_v no_o man_n living_n be_v fit_a for_o a_o service_n of_o this_o nature_n than_o your_o lordship_n the_o great_a god_n have_v make_v your_o lordship_n king_n and_o lord_n over_o your_o own_o family_n and_o have_v endue_v your_o lordship_n with_o such_o incomparable_a gift_n of_o knowledge_n and_o learning_n and_o i_o hope_v of_o grace_n too_o and_o pray_v sir_n say_v my_o lord_n how_o will_v you_o have_v i_o pray_v my_o lord_n
a_o revive_v cordial_a for_o a_o sinsick_a despair_v soul_n in_o the_o time_n of_o temptation_n the_o same_o be_v a_o extract_n of_o the_o unworthy_a author_n experience_n of_o the_o particular_a follow_v i._o the_o miraculous_a preservation_n of_o his_o bodily_a life_n from_o the_o many_o death_n and_o eminent_a danger_n which_o threaten_v it_o while_o in_o a_o state_n of_o nature_n ii_o the_o method_n god_n take_v with_o he_o in_o awaken_n he_o to_o look_v into_o and_o to_o mind_n soul_n concern_v when_o about_o fourteen_o year_n of_o age._n iii_o how_o the_o spirit_n of_o bondage_n take_v he_o and_o what_o fearful_a work_v it_o make_v in_o his_o soul_n iu._n how_o the_o spirit_n of_o adoption_n succeed_v the_o spirit_n of_o bondage_n heal_v and_o bind_v up_o the_o deep_a wound_n cause_v in_o his_o soul_n thereby_o câ—â—â—_n and_o hear_v all_o you_o that_o fear_v god_n and_o i_o will_v declare_v that_o he_o have_v do_v for_o my_o soul_n psal_n 66._o 16._o i_o will_v praise_v thou_o 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the_o godly_a minister_n especial_o mr._n noah_n bryan_n mr._n timothy_n taylor_n mr._n samuel_n mather_n and_o the_o dear_a mr._n nathaniel_n mather_n all_o now_o with_o christ_n to_o profess_v that_o they_o never_o hear_v of_o or_o know_v any_o sinner_n come_v so_o near_o to_o paul_n as_o touch_v god_n method_n and_o way_n of_o work_v upon_o and_o deal_v with_o he_o in_o and_o after_o his_o conversion_n as_o i_o do_v and_o therefore_o they_o unanimous_o agree_v in_o judge_v that_o to_o publish_v the_o same_o be_v my_o duty_n the_o which_o they_o doubt_v not_o will_v be_v great_o useful_a and_o that_o both_o to_o saint_n and_o sinner_n on_o sundry_a account_n the_o sincere_a and_o upright_o heart_a nathaniel_n mather_n late_o of_o pinners-hall_n have_v several_a time_n chide_v i_o for_o my_o backwardness_n to_o so_o necessary_a and_o useful_a a_o work_n and_o a_o little_a before_o his_o death_n he_o at_o i_o again_o about_o it_o examine_v into_o the_o ground_n of_o my_o backwardness_n 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say_v i_o i_o humble_o conceive_v that_o you_o be_v to_o pray_o according_a to_o the_o present_a condition_n of_o the_o soul_n of_o your_o family_n pray_v sir_n say_v my_o lord_n how_o be_v it_o possible_a for_o i_o to_o know_v the_o inward_a thought_n and_o condition_n of_o my_o family_n soul_n so_o as_o to_o order_n my_o prayer_n according_o my_o lord_n reply_v i_o albeit_o your_o lordship_n can_v possible_o acquaint_v yourself_o with_o all_o the_o secret_n of_o your_o family_n yet_o you_o may_v by_o catechizeing_n your_o family_n and_o frequent_o examine_v they_o about_o the_o state_n of_o their_o soul_n and_o god_n deal_v with_o they_o find_v matter_n enough_o to_o enlarge_v on_o in_o put_v up_o prayer_n to_o god_n for_o they_o in_o the_o general_n which_o be_v as_o much_o as_o the_o rule_n of_o duty_n direct_v or_o oblige_v to_o my_o lord_n find_v that_o the_o truth_n i_o be_v call_v to_o vindicate_v and_o the_o spirit_n by_o which_o i_o speak_v to_o be_v too_o powerful_a for_o 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achilles_n i_o be_o uncertain_a but_o in_o this_o of_o the_o wound_v and_o heal_v of_o my_o soul_n i_o be_o not_o more_o certain_a of_o any_o thing_n in_o nature_n than_o i_o be_o that_o the_o spirit_n of_o christ_n which_o wound_v i_o by_o the_o law_n do_v also_o heal_n i_o by_o the_o gospel_n job_n 5._o 18._o for_o he_o make_v sore_a and_o bind_v up_o he_o wound_v and_o his_o hand_n make_v whole_a observation_n iu._n see_v and_o learn_v hence_o how_o steadfast_a and_o faithful_a god_n be_v to_o his_o word_n of_o promise_n when_o for_o christ_n and_o the_o gospel_n be_v forsake_v and_o cast_v off_o by_o my_o father_n and_o all_o other_o fleshly_a relation_n be_v turn_v out_o empty_z handed_z to_o the_o wide_a world_n and_o not_o know_v whether_o to_o go_v or_o what_o to_o do_v god_n take_v care_n of_o i_o and_o provide_v a_o lodging_n and_o friend_n for_o i_o which_o with_o the_o peace_n of_o my_o conscience_n give_v i_o more_o satisfaction_n and_o comfortable_a content_n than_o all_o the_o gallantry_n and_o greatness_n of_o my_o fleshly_a relation_n those_o sweet_a promise_n record_v in_o the_o scripture_n and_o make_v good_a by_o the_o providence_n of_o god_n have_v oftentimes_o refresh_v and_o ravish_v my_o pensive_a and_o weary_a soul_n psal_n 27._o 10._o when_o my_o father_n and_o my_o mother_n forsake_v i_o than_o the_o lord_n will_v take_v i_o up_o mat._n 19_o 29._o and_o every_o one_o that_o have_v forsake_v house_n or_o brethren_n or_o sister_n or_o father_n or_o mother_n or_o wife_n or_o child_n or_o land_n for_o my_o name_n be_v sake_n shall_v receive_v a_o hundred_o fold_n and_o shall_v inherit_v everlasting_a life_n heb._n 13._o 5._o let_v your_o conversation_n be_v without_o covetousness_n and_o be_v content_a with_o such_o thing_n as_o you_o have_v for_o he_o have_v say_v i_o will_v never_o never_o never_o never_o never_o leave_v thou_o nor_o forsake_v thou_o the_o greek_a have_v no_o less_o than_o five_o negative_n in_o this_o one_o scripture_n to_o assure_v the_o true_a believer_n that_o god_n will_v in_o no_o wise_n forget_v or_o forsake_v he_o i_o have_v be_v forsake_v of_o my_o nurse_n when_o but_o three_o month_n old_a but_o i_o be_v take_v into_o the_o nursery_n of_o god_n providential_a care_n which_o cause_v in_o i_o often_o to_o think_v with_o comfort_n of_o that_o in_o psal_n 22._o 10._o i_o be_v cast_v upon_o thou_o from_o the_o womb_n thou_o be_v my_o god_n from_o my_o mother_n belly_n the_o same_o providence_n which_o take_v care_n of_o the_o head_n takes_z care_n also_o of_o the_o member_n i_o be_v forsake_v of_o my_o bodily_a physician_n but_o the_o great_a physician_n of_o soul_n and_o body_n cure_a i_o by_o poor_a contemptible_a snail_n i_o be_v forsake_v of_o my_o earthly_a father_n and_o all_o fleshly_a relation_n but_o god_n be_v become_v by_o grace_n and_o free_a adoption_n my_o father_n who_o will_v never_o forske_v i_o total_o or_o final_o i_o be_v forsake_v by_o my_o brethren_n and_o sister_n but_o those_o who_o be_v the_o son_n and_o daughter_n of_o god_n they_o be_v become_v my_o brethren_n and_o sister_n and_o albeit_o many_o of_o they_o who_o know_v i_o not_o be_v on_o malicious_a report_n prejudice_v against_o i_o yet_o other_o of_o they_o who_o know_v i_o and_o god_n deal_v with_o i_o they_o love_v i_o dear_o i_o have_v be_v forsake_v by_o several_a of_o my_o church_n member_n in_o ireland_n and_o england_n christ_n my_o lord_n and_o master_n have_v be_v so_o before_o i_o jo._n 6._o 66._o from_o that_o time_n many_o of_o his_o disciple_n go_v back_o and_o walk_v no_o more_o with_o he_o yet_o god_n be_v my_o god_n still_o i_o have_v be_v forsake_v of_o my_o brethren_n in_o the_o sacred_a office_n and_o left_a to_o stand_v alone_o when_o popery_n and_o quakerism_n be_v come_v in_o like_o a_o flood_n none_o step_v in_o to_o help_v or_o encourage_v i_o against_o those_o adversary_n of_o god_n religion_n but_o he_o that_o stand_v by_o paul_n when_o all_o other_o preacher_n in_o his_o day_n forsake_v he_o stand_v by_o i_o and_o embolden_v i_o against_o their_o threat_n and_o malice_n i_o have_v thought_n of_o print_v the_o most_o material_a objection_n bring_v in_o by_o satan_n to_o distress_n and_o distract_v a_o poor_a sinner_n to_o keep_v he_o from_o christ_n and_o how_o the_o spirit_n of_o grace_n teach_v and_o enable_v i_o to_o answer_v they_o all_o but_o my_o intend_a brevity_n have_v prevent_v i_o therein_o all_o glory_n honour_n and_o eternal_a praise_n to_o the_o only_a wise_a and_o glorious_a god_n father_n son_n and_o holy_a ghost_n amen_n amen_n postscript_n je_v satan_n shall_v get_v a_o advantage_n by_o this_o relation_n of_o god_n strange_a and_o wonderful_a deal_n with_o i_o in_o bring_v i_o home_o to_o christ_n in_o such_o a_o unusual_a manner_n and_o his_o handle_v i_o so_o sharp_o by_o the_o spirit_n of_o bondage_n as_o also_o his_o bountiful_a deal_n with_o i_o in_o make_v my_o soul_n the_o receptacle_n of_o such_o ravish_a joy_n and_o unutterable_a consolation_n upon_o believe_v in_o christ_n in_o effectual_a call_v i_o think_v it_o may_v be_v seasonable_a to_o give_v the_o present_a caution_n to_o the_o poor_a doubt_v tempt_v believer_n who_o through_o satan_n subtlety_n tempt_v will_v find_v he_o or_o her_z self_n wretched_o prone_a to_o conclude_v from_o what_o they_o read_v of_o my_o conversion_n that_o the_o work_n of_o true_a conversion_n be_v never_o yet_o effectual_o wrought_v in_o themselves_o and_o that_o because_o they_o be_v never_o under_o such_o terrible_a bondage_n of_o soul_n neither_o ever_o yet_o be_v lift_v up_o so_o near_a heaven_n as_o i_o be_v such_o poor_a tempt_v believer_n be_v to_o consider_v the_o particular_n follow_v for_o their_o help_n and_o relief_n against_o the_o tempter_n in_o this_o case_n first_o consider_v that_o as_o in_o nature_n there_o be_v a_o vast_a disparity_n or_o difference_n between_o person_n in_o the_o natural_a birth_n so_o there_o be_v as_o vast_a a_o difference_n 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set_v home_n by_o the_o spirit_n of_o bondage_n than_o lydia_n who_o heart_n the_o lord_n open_v with_o more_o gentle_a touch_v of_o his_o spirit_n act_n 9_o 6._o act_n 16._o 15_o 29._o that_o woman_n who_o be_v safe_o deliver_v without_o any_o danger_n or_o great_a difficulty_n to_o herself_o or_o her_o babe_n have_v no_o reason_n to_o question_n whether_o she_o be_v indeed_o deliver_v because_o she_o go_v not_o through_o such_o danger_n and_o difficulty_n as_o her_o neighbour_n do_v who_o narrow_o escape_v with_o her_o life_n neither_o have_v she_o any_o cause_n of_o be_v jealous_a with_o her_o neighbour_n because_o her_o case_n or_o condition_n be_v more_o dangerous_a and_o desperate_a in_o travel_n than_o be_v she_o own_o thou_o who_o be_v bring_v to_o christ_n by_o the_o gentle_a drawing_n of_o the_o spirit_n of_o grace_n and_o not_o bring_v so_o nigh_o to_o the_o affrightning_n sight_n of_o hell_n and_o to_o such_o a_o sense_n and_o feeling_n of_o the_o pain_n of_o the_o damn_a as_o have_v cause_v some_o to_o think_v themselves_o actual_o in_o hell_n admire_v at_o and_o bless_v god_n for_o his_o condescension_n towards_o thou_o in_o bring_v thou_o through_o the_o new_a birth_n so_o easy_o second_o consider_v that_o albeit_o the_o truth_n of_o thy_o conversion_n be_v not_o so_o sensible_o discern_v as_o the_o conversion_n of_o that_o person_n be_v who_o be_v bring_v home_o in_o the_o way_n of_o legal_a terror_n yet_o thou_o be_v bind_v to_o bless_n god_n for_o the_o small_a measure_n of_o grace_n bestow_v on_o thou_o as_o the_o small_a spark_n of_o fire_n though_o it_o be_v hide_v under_o a_o great_a heap_n of_o ash_n be_v as_o true_o fire_n as_o the_o great_a fire_n in_o nature_n so_o thy_o small_a grace_n which_o in_o comparison_n of_o some_o other_o grace_n may_v be_v so_o weak_a and_o little_a that_o it_o can_v scarce_o be_v discern_v yet_o grace_v it_o be_v though_o thou_o know_v it_o not_o to_o be_v so_o and_o he_o who_o bestow_v it_o on_o thou_o and_o wrought_v it_o in_o thou_o he_o will_v never_o reject_v or_o neglect_v thou_o because_o of_o thy_o little_a grace_n while_o he_o see_v thou_o constant_a and_o diligent_a in_o the_o use_n of_o mean_n labour_v to_o grow_v in_o grace_n esa_n 42._o 3._o mat._n 5._o 6._o esa_n 41._o 17._o phil._n 1._o 6._o oh_o but_o i_o do_v not_o find_v that_o i_o be_o bring_v to_o christ_n and_o which_o be_v far_o worse_a i_o fear_v i_o never_o shall_v to_o this_o i_o answer_v in_o two_o particular_n first_o thy_o very_a fear_n about_o this_o great_a of_n concern_v be_v a_o argument_n of_o thy_o translation_n from_o the_o first_o adam_n to_o the_o second_o adam_n christ_n jesus_n the_o lord_n if_o the_o spirit_n of_o grace_n have_v not_o give_v thou_o some_o sight_n and_o taste_n of_o the_o excellency_n and_o sweetness_n of_o christ_n thou_o can_v never_o prize_v or_o desire_v after_o he_o it_o be_v only_o the_o child_n that_o have_v taste_v the_o honey_n or_o sugar_n that_o long_v and_o cry_v for_o more_o second_o if_o thou_o find_v a_o fix_a resolution_n in_o thy_o soul_n in_o go_v on_o to_o seek_v the_o lord_n and_o his_o strength_n by_o prayer_n and_o supplication_n and_o other_o mean_n of_o grace_n not_o rest_v in_o or_o depend_v upon_o they_o but_o on_o christ_n alone_o for_o life_n and_o salvation_n my_o life_n for_o thou_o come_v death_n when_o god_n please_v to_o send_v it_o it_o will_v end_v all_o thy_o fear_n and_o put_v thou_o beyond_o the_o reach_n of_o all_o thy_o enemy_n thy_o frequent_a cry_v to_o god_n in_o prayer_n for_o christ_n and_o save_v grace_n be_v the_o echo_n of_o christ_n pray_v for_o thea_fw-mi at_o the_o throne_n of_o grace_n and_o thy_o go_v on_o and_o continue_v to_o watch_n at_o wisdom_n gate_n can_v not_o possible_o be_v without_o invisible_a supply_n of_o spiritual_a strength_n communicate_v to_o thy_o soul_n by_o the_o spirit_n of_o christ_n the_o end_n