thenceforth_o silent_a though_o i_o look_v on_o it_o as_o my_o duty_n former_o he_o tell_v i_o no_o he_o will_v have_v i_o speak_v but_o it_o must_v be_v by_o a_o brother_n for_o a_o slander_n by_o may_v see_v more_o than_o he_o that_o play_v the_o game_n promise_v likewise_o if_o i_o do_v speak_v by_o he_o to_o deliver_v my_o word_n in_o the_o same_o manner_n as_o i_o speak_v they_o after_o this_o it_o please_v the_o lord_n to_o exercise_v i_o with_o a_o smart_a affliction_n the_o death_n of_o a_o dear_a child_n the_o suddenness_n of_o the_o stroke_n and_o some_o other_o circumstance_n make_v it_o a_o very_a melt_a affliction_n when_o my_o bowel_n be_v yern_v towards_o my_o child_n i_o call_v to_o remembrance_n the_o lord_n tender_a bowel_n towards_o his_o child_n for_o who_o he_o have_v give_v his_o only_a son_n when_o i_o consider_v the_o breach_n that_o the_o lord_n have_v make_v in_o my_o family_n i_o behold_v how_o terrible_a it_o be_v to_o make_v a_o breach_n in_o his_o family_n then_o the_o work_n i_o be_v engage_v in_o this_o sin_n of_o separation_n appear_v naked_o unto_o i_o to_o be_v no_o other_o than_o a_o wound_a of_o christ_n body_n which_o be_v his_o church_n the_o church_n which_o he_o have_v purchase_v with_o his_o own_o blood_n i_o than_o look_v on_o separation_n to_o be_v a_o divide_n of_o christ_n true_o i_o behold_v it_o with_o terror_n this_o sin_n of_o wound_v of_o christ_n it_o make_v a_o wound_n in_o my_o soul_n which_o be_v keep_v open_a in_o a_o terrible_a manner_n the_o lord_n bring_v to_o my_o remembrance_n his_o justice_n and_o severity_n and_o wrath_n reveal_v from_o heaven_n on_o family_n and_o nation_n yea_o on_o his_o own_o people_n ever_o since_o the_o begin_n of_o the_o world_n as_o also_o his_o judgement_n which_o be_v in_o the_o earth_n to_o this_o day_n from_o genesis_n to_o the_o revelation_n be_v bring_v to_o my_o remembrance_n and_o keep_v hard_o upon_o i_o have_v these_o impression_n on_o my_o spirit_n i_o be_v almost_o overwhelm_v and_o in_o my_o own_o apprehension_n upon_o the_o border_n of_o hell_n where_o the_o lord_n make_v i_o to_o behold_v the_o execution_n of_o his_o wrath_n upon_o sinner_n i_o can_v then_o have_v tell_v what_o hell_n be_v i_o feel_v the_o flashing_n of_o helfire_n in_o my_o soul_n the_o wrath_n of_o god_n that_o lie_v hard_o upon_o i_o the_o effect_n whereof_o be_v very_o terrible_a insomuch_o as_o i_o be_v even_o swallow_v up_o only_o the_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o keep_v i_o follow_v after_o he_o resolve_v to_o lie_v at_o his_o foot_n though_o he_o shall_v spurn_v i_o to_o hell_n have_v thus_o be_v under_o a_o sentence_n of_o death_n with_o the_o very_a terror_n of_o hell_n in_o my_o soul_n providence_n so_o order_v it_o i_o come_v by_o follow_v the_o people_n where_o mr._n ford_z preach_v i_o no_o soon_o come_v into_o the_o congregation_n but_o i_o be_v so_o exceed_o trouble_v as_o that_o i_o vent_v myself_o in_o passionate_a tear_n fear_v lest_o i_o may_v be_v unfit_a to_o hear_v but_o in_o prayer_n recover_v myself_o his_o text_n be_v in_o john_n 16_o last_v be_v of_o good_a cheer_n i_o have_v overcome_v the_o world_n he_o instance_a in_o all_o the_o enemy_n of_o the_o new_a creature_n the_o world_n the_o god_n of_o this_o world_n sin_n death_n and_o hell_n the_o lord_n set_v it_o home_o every_o sentence_n be_v to_o i_o as_o the_o rivet_a of_o the_o nail_n set_v on_o by_o the_o great_a master_n of_o assembly_n and_o in_o prayer_n afterward_o the_o lord_n so_o provide_v those_o very_a particular_n which_o be_v the_o burden_n of_o my_o soul_n be_v put_v up_o unto_o god_n i_o go_v out_o of_o the_o congregation_n with_o another_o frame_n of_o spirit_n then_o when_o i_o come_v in_o bless_v the_o lord_n for_o give_v his_o son_n jesus_n christ_n who_o have_v love_v we_o and_o wash_v we_o from_o our_o sin_n in_o his_o own_o blood_n and_o have_v make_v we_o king_n and_o priest_n unto_o god_n but_o afterward_o i_o begin_v to_o question_v whether_o i_o have_v not_o take_v that_o which_o do_v not_o belong_v unto_o i_o christ_n then_o speak_v comfort_n to_o his_o disciple_n in_o reference_n to_o that_o hardship_n they_o be_v to_o meet_v with_o in_o the_o world_n among_o the_o rest_n of_o their_o suffering_n this_o be_v one_o that_o they_o shall_v be_v put_v out_o of_o the_o synagogue_n yea_o the_o time_n will_v come_v that_o whosoever_o kill_v they_o will_v think_v he_o do_v god_n good_a service_n which_o thing_n christ_n tell_v they_o that_o they_o may_v not_o be_v offend_v but_o yet_o the_o sermon_n be_v in_o general_a of_o all_o the_o enemy_n of_o the_o new_a creature_n i_o can_v not_o put_v it_o off_o furthermore_o the_o appearance_n of_o god_n be_v so_o remarkable_a in_o the_o change_n of_o my_o spirit_n as_o that_o i_o can_v not_o but_o take_v it_o home_o that_o sin_n of_o the_o right_a hand_n and_o left_a hand_n and_o separation_n also_o and_o death_n and_o hell_n shall_v be_v cast_v into_o the_o lake_n that_o burn_v with_o fire_n and_o brimstone_n that_o in_o the_o mean_a time_n christ_n have_v overcome_v the_o world_n the_o prince_n of_o this_o world_n be_v judge_v condemn_v already_o only_o the_o execution_n be_v defer_v till_o the_o time_n appoint_v by_o the_o father_n and_o as_o for_o suffering_n that_o we_o must_v look_v for_o they_o have_v such_o provision_n so_o remarkable_o lay_v in_o before_o i_o can_v but_o take_v notice_n of_o it_o at_o present_a but_o then_o i_o can_v not_o conceive_v how_o it_o be_v likely_a for_o i_o to_o suffer_v in_o that_o kind_n there_o be_v then_o so_o much_o love_v pretend_v but_o now_o the_o time_n be_v come_v and_o therefore_o i_o mention_v it_o christ_n say_v these_o thing_n have_v i_o speak_v unto_o you_o that_o when_o the_o time_n shall_v come_v you_o may_v remember_v that_o i_o tell_v you_o of_o they_o now_o i_o can_v make_v application_n of_o all_o the_o sermon_n which_o be_v food_n for_o my_o faith_n to_o live_v upon_o although_o i_o suffer_v as_o a_o evil_a doer_n i_o mention_v it_o with_o admiration_n that_o the_o lord_n even_o then_o when_o he_o speak_v peace_n unto_o i_o after_o my_o be_v convince_v of_o separation_n shall_v lay_v also_o provision_n against_o excommunication_n but_o now_o after_o my_o conviction_n of_o separation_n it_o trouble_v i_o very_o much_o because_o i_o know_v not_o how_o to_o avoid_v it_o my_o fear_n be_v lest_o i_o shall_v be_v constrain_v to_o live_v in_o it_o have_v i_o present_o come_v off_o i_o shall_v have_v make_v a_o breach_n there_o they_o pretend_v so_o much_o love_n unto_o i_o as_o i_o know_v not_o which_o way_n to_o break_v this_o bond_n which_o the_o apostle_n call_v the_o bond_n of_o perfectness_n wherefore_o i_o resolve_v to_o wait_v upon_o the_o lord_n for_o the_o open_v a_o way_n unto_o i_o which_o he_o do_v afterward_o in_o manner_n follow_v the_o lord_n be_v make_v such_o abundant_a provision_n for_o i_o in_o mr._n ford_n ministry_n i_o do_v constant_o attend_v thereon_o hear_v he_o once_o a_o lord_n day_n for_o the_o most_o part_n unless_o it_o be_v when_o we_o have_v the_o sacrament_n of_o the_o lord_n supper_n administer_v among_o we_o this_o be_v my_o practice_n ever_o since_o he_o come_v to_o this_o city_n of_o which_o mr._n stucley_n take_v no_o great_a notice_n before_o he_o be_v in_o office_n but_o afterward_o both_o he_o and_o the_o people_n be_v displease_v with_o i_o for_o it_o on_o which_o begin_v the_o quarrel_n on_o my_o part_n between_o we_o mr._n stoneham_n be_v a_o stranger_n be_v employ_v to_o take_v i_o off_o from_o this_o practice_n who_o at_o first_o pretend_v that_o it_o do_v very_o much_o trouble_v he_o but_o since_o he_o have_v tell_v i_o that_o he_o wish_v that_o he_o have_v never_o be_v put_v upon_o it_o he_o send_v a_o messenger_n unto_o i_o to_o persuade_v i_o to_o leave_v mr._n ford_n ministry_n i_o than_o show_v my_o ground_n for_o that_o practice_n what_o provision_n i_o find_v there_o and_o how_o the_o lord_n have_v make_v that_o ministry_n effectual_a unto_o i_o and_o withal_o that_o when_o i_o come_v among_o they_o i_o take_v up_o a_o resolution_n to_o attend_v upon_o that_o ministry_n the_o same_o day_n in_o a_o public_a meeting_n they_o accuse_v i_o first_o of_o contention_n and_o second_o for_o my_o hear_n mr._n ford_n which_o as_o the_o elder_n say_v the_o church_n neither_o can_v nor_o will_v bear_v however_o they_o will_v not_o meddle_v with_o it_o for_o that_o time_n as_o to_o the_o article_n of_o contention_n i_o appeal_v to_o the_o church_n and_o charge_v they_o to_o be_v faithful_a as_o they_o will_v answer_v it_o another_o day_n in_o make_v it_o know_v
according_a to_o my_o best_a remembrance_n be_v this_o on_o the_o day_n before_o be_v monday_n after_o dinner_n mr._n stonham_n and_o his_o wife_n come_v to_o visit_v i_o before_o i_o can_v come_v to_o they_o my_o husband_n in_o discourse_v with_o they_o say_v that_o i_o have_v hear_v mr._n ford_n the_o day_n before_o when_o i_o come_v into_o the_o room_n mr_n stonham_n look_v on_o i_o with_o a_o angry_a countenance_n and_o will_v scarce_o speak_v whereupon_o i_o ask_v his_o wife_n what_o do_v ail_v he_o who_o answer_v that_o he_o be_v not_o well_o please_v with_o i_o for_o my_o go_v away_o to_o hear_v she_o tell_v i_o likewise_o that_o he_o do_v not_o like_a mr_n eveleigh_v maid_n and_o far_o add_v that_o she_o hear_v that_o i_o have_v somewhat_o against_o she_o she_o be_v say_v i_o a_o stranger_n unto_o i_o and_o therefore_o it_o be_v my_o desire_n that_o she_o may_v be_v keep_v off_o one_o week_n long_o until_o i_o have_v inform_v myself_o concern_v she_o then_o say_v she_o do_v you_o be_v present_a at_o the_o meeting_n to_o speak_v to_o have_v she_o keep_v off_o this_o she_o desire_v with_o much_o earnestness_n on_o the_o tuesdaie_n follow_v after_o dinner_n mr_n spraigue_n the_o young_a come_v to_o i_o from_o mr_n stoneham_n as_o he_o say_v who_o have_v be_v with_o he_o the_o day_n before_o and_o desire_v he_o to_o take_v i_o off_o from_o hear_v mr_n ford._n to_o this_o end_n among_o other_o thing_n he_o tell_v i_o that_o those_o sheep_n which_o have_v be_v use_v to_o mean_a feed_n be_v not_o fit_a for_o fat_a pasture_n it_o be_v the_o way_n to_o bring_v they_o to_o the_o scab_n he_o likewise_o speak_v something_o about_o mr_n eveleigh_v maid_n and_o earnest_o desire_v i_o to_o be_v at_o the_o meeting_n i_o tell_v he_o that_o i_o then_o lay_v under_o some_o trouble_n of_o spirit_n and_o so_o can_v not_o be_v fit_a for_o such_o a_o employment_n however_o upon_o his_o earnest_a entreaty_n i_o fit_v myself_o to_o go_v when_o i_o be_v come_v they_o begin_v contrary_a to_o their_o usual_a practice_n to_o talk_v of_o the_o maid_n before_o ever_o the_o lord_n have_v be_v seek_v unto_o in_o prayer_n mr_n owen_n sit_v at_o the_o table_n near_o i_o i_o will_v he_o to_o acquaint_v they_o that_o it_o be_v my_o desire_n she_o may_v be_v keep_v off_o a_o week_n long_o as_o i_o remember_v until_o i_o have_v inform_v myself_o concern_v she_o mr_n eveleigh_n present_o reply_v that_o he_o will_v give_v testimony_n for_o she_o i_o tell_v he_o that_o a_o master_n or_o superior_a be_v not_o so_o fit_a to_o give_v testimony_n for_o a_o servant_n or_o inferior_a and_o withal_o instance_a in_o gehazi_n who_o carry_v himself_o fair_o in_o his_o master_n presence_n after_o this_o one_o ambrose_n a_o shoemaker_n be_v propose_v who_o it_o seem_v wrought_v with_o ganicle_n concern_v who_o mr_n eveleigh_n ask_v i_o whether_o i_o have_v any_o thing_n against_o he_o i_o answer_v that_o i_o have_v nothing_o and_o also_o that_o though_o he_o be_v a_o stranger_n unto_o i_o yet_o i_o have_v hear_v a_o good_a report_n of_o he_o upon_o which_o ganicle_n say_v that_o i_o will_v take_v his_o testimony_n for_o his_o man_n and_o not_o mr_n eveleigh_v for_o his_o maid_n yea_o say_v mr_n eveleigh_n that_o be_v the_o very_a thing_n because_o it_o be_v my_o testimony_n therefore_o she_o will_v not_o take_v it_o add_v far_o that_o it_o be_v scandalous_a and_o that_o i_o be_v offensive_a or_o contentious_a and_o have_v hinder_v their_o proceed_n for_o many_o year_n insomuch_o as_o he_o can_v not_o partake_v with_o i_o in_o the_o ordinance_n until_o he_o be_v satisfy_v i_o reply_v that_o this_o will_v not_o be_v bear_v and_o that_o if_o my_o carriage_n have_v be_v so_o offensive_a i_o shall_v have_v hear_v of_o it_o in_o some_o other_o place_n and_o in_o some_o other_o manner_n and_o then_o i_o present_o appeal_v to_o all_o the_o congregation_n desire_v they_o to_o be_v faithful_a unto_o i_o as_o they_o will_v answer_v it_o another_o day_n by_o declare_v wherein_o my_o carriage_n have_v be_v offensive_a and_o what_o evil_n they_o have_v see_v in_o i_o and_o when_o i_o perceive_v they_o be_v unwilling_a to_o meddle_v in_o it_o i_o tell_v they_o plain_o that_o i_o will_v come_v no_o more_o among_o they_o unless_o they_o will_v satisfy_v i_o herein_o at_o length_n mr_n stoneham_n begin_v his_o prayer_n after_o this_o manner_n lord_n we_o have_v wait_v for_o a_o prayer_n and_o now_o thou_o have_v give_v we_o in_o a_o prayer_n it_o may_v be_v the_o return_n of_o many_o prayer_n and_o then_o bewail_v that_o the_o serpent_n be_v get_v into_o the_o garden_n after_o the_o prayer_n mr._n eveleigh_n and_o myself_o be_v to_o withdraw_v but_o mr_n eveleigh_n before_o he_o go_v out_o tell_v they_o he_o leave_v it_o to_o the_o church_n to_o determine_v whether_o i_o be_v not_o contentious_a two_o thing_n say_v he_o i_o have_v against_o she_o contention_n and_o her_o go_v away_o to_o hear_v mr_n ford_n which_o the_o church_n neither_o can_v nor_o will_v bear_v and_o he_o far_o charge_v john_n whitehorne_n the_o chief_a then_o in_o this_o business_n that_o he_o shall_v insist_v upon_o contention_n and_o if_o he_o want_v a_o instance_n that_o he_o shall_v name_v agnes_n pullen_n when_o we_o be_v withdraw_v the_o generality_n of_o they_o say_v they_o do_v believe_v i_o be_v a_o good_a woman_n etc._n etc._n but_o then_o they_o be_v ask_v again_o whether_o through_o a_o mixture_n of_o corruption_n it_o may_v not_o tend_v to_o contention_n to_o which_o this_o reply_n be_v make_v that_o they_o do_v not_o know_v but_o it_o may_v mr._n stoneham_n tell_v i_o that_o they_o will_v not_o for_o a_o world_n charge_v i_o with_o contention_n but_o do_v fear_v lest_o through_o a_o mixture_n of_o corruption_n it_o may_v tend_v thereunto_o many_o of_o they_o be_v offend_v with_o the_o elder_n deal_v so_o disorderly_a with_o i_o but_o know_v not_o how_o to_o help_v it_o and_o desire_v i_o to_o take_v no_o notice_n of_o it_o by_o all_o which_o it_o appear_v 1_v that_o they_o be_v very_o much_o displease_v with_o i_o for_o hear_v other_o beside_o our_o own_o officer_n though_o they_o be_v unwilling_a to_o quarrel_v with_o i_o open_o about_o it_o mr._n eveleigh_n it_o be_v true_a accuse_v i_o thereof_o at_o this_o meeting_n but_o as_o i_o be_o inform_v some_o of_o they_o do_v very_o much_o dislike_v his_o mention_v of_o that_o particular_a and_o refuse_v to_o meddle_v with_o it_o because_o they_o think_v it_o fit_a to_o be_v conceal_v then_o that_o it_o shall_v be_v public_o take_v notice_n of_o 2_o that_o it_o be_v very_o probable_a they_o have_v a_o resolution_n some_o of_o they_o to_o quarrel_v with_o i_o about_o mr._n eveleigh_n maid_n in_o case_n i_o can_v not_o be_v prevail_v with_o to_o leave_v off_o hear_v of_o other_o minister_n why_o else_o shall_v they_o be_v so_o earnest_a with_o i_o after_o i_o have_v give_v a_o sufficient_a excuse_n for_o my_o absence_n to_o be_v present_a at_o the_o meeting_n why_o else_o shall_v mr._n stoneham_n use_v such_o expression_n in_o his_o prayer_n 3_o that_o although_o mr_n eveleigh_n at_o this_o time_n when_o the_o quarrel_n break_v out_o accuse_v i_o of_o contention_n yet_o that_o the_o quarrel_n do_v not_o begin_v in_o my_o contentious_a spirit_n and_o sow_v division_n be_v apparent_a 1_o because_o i_o do_v no_o more_o than_o mr._n stoneham_n approve_v of_o and_o mris._n stoneham_n desire_v i_o to_o do_v so_o that_o i_o can_v be_v no_o more_o contentious_a in_o oppose_a mr._n eveleigh_v maid_n than_o they_o 2._o this_o business_n be_v end_v in_o three_o day_n they_o have_v nothing_o after_o this_o against_o i_o but_o my_o hear_v other_o minister_n as_o mr._n eveleigh_n himself_o tell_v i_o 4_o and_o therefore_o notwithstanding_o the_o quarrel_n break_v out_o at_o the_o time_n when_o i_o oppose_v mr._n eveleigh_n maid_n yet_o it_o be_v very_o apparent_a that_o it_o begin_v be_v continue_v carry_v on_o and_o increase_v even_o to_o a_o breach_n only_o for_o my_o hear_n of_o another_o minister_n for_o as_o to_o the_o charge_n of_o lie_v i_o never_o hear_v of_o it_o till_o my_o come_n off_o as_o i_o have_v already_o declare_v in_o the_o next_o place_n he_o take_v shame_n to_o himself_o that_o he_o do_v not_o soon_o excite_v the_o church_n to_o their_o duty_n as_o to_o the_o last_o remedy_n for_o the_o heal_n of_o this_o woman_n etc._n etc._n resol_n i_o believe_v in_o the_o end_n he_o will_v see_v more_o cause_n to_o take_v shame_n to_o unto_o himself_o in_o that_o he_o have_v so_o rash_o excite_v they_o to_o this_o censure_n before_o he_o ever_o discharge_v the_o duty_n of_o admonition_n let_v he_o consider_v whether_o
svsanna_n apology_n against_o the_o elder_n or_o a_o vindication_n of_o susanna_n parr_n one_o of_o those_o two_o woman_n late_o excommunicate_v by_o mr_n lewis_n stucley_n and_o his_o church_n in_o exeter_n compose_v and_o publish_v by_o herself_o for_o the_o clear_n of_o her_o own_o innocency_n and_o the_o satisfaction_n of_o all_o other_o who_o desire_v to_o know_v the_o true_a reason_n of_o their_o so_o rigorous_a proceed_n against_o she_o who_o hatred_n be_v cover_v by_o deceit_n his_o wickedness_n shall_v be_v show_v before_o the_o whole_a congregation_n prov._n 26.26_o they_o shall_v put_v you_o out_o of_o the_o synagogue_n yea_o the_o time_n come_v that_o whosoever_o kill_v you_o will_v think_v that_o he_o do_v god_n service_n joh._n 16.2_o let_v we_o go_v forth_o therefore_o unto_o he_o without_o the_o camp_n bear_v his_o reproach_n heb._n 13.13_o print_v in_o the_o year_n 1659._o to_o the_o impartial_a reader_n it_o be_v a_o thorny_a path_n and_o a_o miry_a way_n that_o i_o be_o compel_v to_o walk_v in_o a_o way_n wherein_o there_o be_v a_o danger_n of_o lose_v more_o in_o all_o likelihood_n rather_o than_o of_o regain_n what_o be_v already_o lose_v a_o way_n the_o walking_z wherein_o all_o the_o comfort_n i_o have_v be_v the_o hope_n of_o get_v out_o of_o it_o at_o last_o and_o so_o it_o concern_v i_o to_o hasten_v as_o fast_o as_o i_o can_v in_o it_o i_o meet_v with_o the_o enemy_n sword_n cover_v over_o with_o zeal_n for_o god_n and_o his_o glory_n when_o as_o nothing_o of_o this_o have_v appear_v in_o the_o least_o either_o in_o the_o work_n or_o in_o the_o manage_n thereof_o satan_n be_v now_o transform_v into_o a_o angel_n of_o light_n but_o my_o hope_n be_v that_o he_o will_v in_o the_o end_n appear_v to_o be_v no_o other_o than_o he_o be_v a_o prince_n of_o darkness_n a_o black_a grisly_a devil_n jealousy_n and_o censorious_a slander_n the_o discovery_n of_o which_o be_v the_o work_n i_o be_o at_o present_a engage_v in_o the_o design_n of_o this_o follow_a vindication_n a_o work_n it_o be_v no_o less_o difficult_a and_o dangerous_a then_o troublesome_a and_o unpleasing_a in_o respect_n of_o myself_o who_o write_v the_o thing_n whereof_o i_o write_v and_o the_o person_n against_o who_o i_o write_v weakness_n be_v entail_v upon_o my_o sex_n in_o general_a and_o for_o myself_o in_o particular_a i_o be_o a_o despise_a worm_n a_o woman_n full_a of_o natural_a and_o sinful_a infirmity_n the_o chief_a of_o sinner_n and_o least_o of_o saint_n shall_v the_o lord_n contend_v with_o i_o i_o must_v lay_v my_o hand_n upon_o my_o mouth_n i_o must_v acknowledge_v he_o to_o be_v just_a and_o righteous_a in_o suffer_v they_o to_o deal_v thus_o with_o i_o neither_o shall_v i_o put_v myself_o to_o the_o trouble_n of_o a_o vindication_n but_o leave_v the_o clear_n of_o my_o innocency_n to_o that_o day_n which_o he_o have_v appoint_v to_o judge_v the_o world_n in_o righteousness_n i_o have_v cause_n to_o remember_v and_o be_v ashamed_a before_o the_o lord_n there_o be_v iniquity_n even_o in_o my_o holy_a thing_n yet_o as_o to_o they_o my_o heart_n do_v not_o reproach_v i_o but_o on_o the_o contrary_a i_o have_v great_a cause_n of_o rejoice_v in_o the_o uprightness_n of_o my_o heart_n as_o to_o the_o thing_n of_o god_n and_o in_o my_o abundant_a love_n and_o affection_n unto_o they_o my_o heart_n be_v enlarge_v in_o love_n towards_o they_o and_o therefore_o my_o mouth_n be_v open_v upon_o all_o occasion_n for_o their_o good_a though_o i_o be_v of_o a_o stamer_a tongue_n slow_a of_o speech_n and_o want_v eloquence_n yet_o the_o desire_n i_o have_v of_o their_o perfection_n make_v i_o forward_o to_o speak_v to_o they_o in_o general_a and_o in_o particular_a the_o lord_n know_v i_o lie_v not_o my_o conscience_n also_o bear_v i_o witness_n i_o mourn_v with_o they_o that_o mourn_v rejoice_v with_o they_o that_o rejoice_v when_o any_o be_v under_o temptation_n or_o affliction_n i_o do_v labour_n to_o sympathise_v with_o they_o as_o if_o they_o be_v my_o own_o and_o do_v engage_v for_o they_o at_o the_o throne_n of_o grace_n as_o for_o myself_o and_o as_o for_o that_o which_o i_o do_v oppose_v among_o they_o it_o be_v matter_n of_o mourning_n unto_o i_o when_o i_o apprehend_v the_o glory_n of_o christ_n and_o their_o particular_a interest_n can_v not_o stand_v together_o i_o then_o withstand_v they_o resolve_v not_o to_o spare_v any_o that_o stand_v in_o the_o way_n of_o christ_n and_o the_o gospel_n enlargement_n it_o be_v my_o comfort_n that_o the_o lord_n see_v not_o as_o man_n see_v man_n look_v on_o the_o outward_a appearance_n but_o the_o lord_n look_v on_o the_o heart_n not_o he_o that_o commend_v himself_o but_o he_o who_o the_o lord_n commend_v be_v approve_v though_o they_o have_v proceed_v to_o censure_v i_o and_o have_v be_v full_a of_o curse_v and_o bitterness_n return_v evil_a for_o good_a yet_o i_o shall_v pray_v lord_n lay_v not_o this_o sin_n to_o their_o charge_n they_o know_v not_o what_o spirit_n they_o be_v of_o beside_o my_o personal_a weakness_n the_o many_o family-care_n that_o lie_v upon_o i_o must_v needs_o unfit_a i_o for_o such_o a_o work_n and_o very_o much_o disinable_a i_o to_o write_v even_o of_o those_o thing_n which_o be_v new_o do_v and_o fresh_a in_o my_o memory_n much_o more_o to_o write_v of_o these_o which_o they_o charge_v i_o with_o be_v some_o of_o they_o transact_v seven_o or_o eight_o year_n since_o in_o the_o lay_n down_o of_o which_o if_o my_o memory_n shall_v fail_v i_o i_o need_v not_o tell_v thou_o if_o thou_o know_v mr._n stucley_n and_o his_o congregation_n what_o a_o improvement_n they_o will_v make_v thereof_o for_o the_o justify_n of_o their_o late_a unchristian_a censure_n of_o who_o i_o have_v cause_n to_o complain_v as_o the_o church_n in_o the_o word_n of_o jeremiah_n lam._n 3.53_o they_o have_v cut_v off_o my_o life_n in_o the_o dungeon_n and_o cast_v a_o stone_n upon_o i_o which_o they_o threaten_v to_o eternity_n sure_o they_o who_o have_v be_v so_o wicked_a as_o to_o censure_v i_o without_o any_o ground_n will_v not_o stick_v to_o take_v hold_n of_o the_o least_o occasion_n for_o the_o maintain_n of_o it_o and_o though_o i_o have_v in_o part_n be_v clear_v by_o the_o minister_n of_o exeter_n from_o their_o forge_a accusation_n who_o receive_v i_o joint_o into_o communion_n with_o they_o yet_o my_o adversary_n be_v so_o crafty_a cruel_a and_o powerful_a it_o will_v be_v no_o hard_a matter_n for_o they_o to_o bear_v down_o all_o their_o gainsayers_a whosoever_o shall_v dare_v to_o contradict_v they_o unless_o the_o lord_n himself_o take_v they_o in_o hand_n and_o then_o though_o they_o be_v mighty_a than_o i_o yet_o they_o will_v find_v to_o their_o cost_n that_o he_o be_v high_a than_o they_o to_o he_o i_o have_v commit_v my_o way_n in_o he_o be_v my_o trust_n therefore_o my_o confidence_n be_v that_o he_o will_v bring_v it_o to_o pass_v see_v my_o undertake_n be_v not_o so_o much_o for_o myself_o as_o for_o the_o lord_n for_o his_o servant_n and_o for_o his_o people_n it_o can_v be_v whatever_o mr_n stucley_n say_v to_o the_o contrary_a p._n 46._o of_o his_o answer_n to_o mr_n toby_n allen._n but_o that_o a_o slur_n be_v cast_v by_o their_o censure_v i_o on_o the_o minister_n and_o people_n of_o god_n in_o this_o city_n it_o must_v needs_o reflect_v very_o much_o on_o they_o who_o have_v receive_v such_o a_o daughter_n of_o belial_n such_o a_o liar_n etc._n etc._n as_o he_o tell_v the_o world_n confident_o enough_o i_o be_o into_o communion_n and_o fellowship_n with_o they_o i_o look_v on_o it_o as_o my_o duty_n to_o keep_v the_o house_n of_o god_n pure_a to_o the_o uttermost_a of_o my_o power_n which_o in_o this_o case_n i_o can_v do_v without_o clear_v myself_o from_o those_o crime_n lay_v to_o my_o charge_n have_v mr_n stucley_n deal_v ingenious_o with_o his_o reader_n in_o discover_v the_o right_a and_o true_a ground_n of_o his_o excommunication_n viz_o my_o hear_n another_o minister_n while_o i_o be_v with_o they_o and_o after_o my_o leave_v they_o my_o refuse_v to_o return_v unless_o i_o may_v have_v the_o liberty_n of_o communion_n with_o other_o of_o god_n people_n in_o this_o city_n than_o it_o will_v have_v be_v apparent_a that_o their_o censure_v i_o be_v no_o other_o than_o the_o smite_v of_o the_o watchman_n for_o seek_v after_o my_o belove_a and_o so_o have_v free_v i_o from_o a_o great_a deal_n of_o trouble_n but_o see_v he_o have_v deal_v so_o crafty_o as_o to_o omit_v they_o and_o lay_v other_o thing_n to_o my_o charge_n in_o their_o place_n it_o will_v be_v worth_a the_o while_n a_o little_a to_o uncase_v he_o in_o his_o comparison_n for_o
it_o let_v other_o judge_n they_o have_v deal_v so_o base_o with_o i_o as_o to_o accuse_v i_o of_o lie_v when_o i_o go_v unto_o they_o a_o little_a before_o to_o give_v they_o a_o reason_n why_o i_o leave_v they_o a_o burn_a child_n we_o say_v dread_v the_o fire_n i_o have_v be_v burn_v once_o by_o adventure_v single_o among_o they_o therefore_o i_o dare_v not_o do_v it_o again_o the_o second_o time_n so_o that_o mr_n stucley_n need_v not_o here_o to_o insert_v this_o parenthesis_n if_o my_o memory_n fail_v i_o not_o it_o will_v have_v do_v better_a in_o all_o the_o other_o article_n of_o his_o accusation_n in_o which_o if_o his_o memory_n do_v not_o fail_v he_o he_o will_v never_o be_v able_a to_o free_v himself_o from_o that_o for_o which_o he_o pretend_v he_o have_v excommunicate_v i_o but_o that_o i_o do_v not_o refuse_v to_o hear_v the_o church_n the_o several_a answer_n i_o give_v to_o the_o messenger_n send_v i_o can_v witness_v beside_o when_o m._n eveleigh_n come_v to_o acquaint_v i_o with_o the_o fast_a in_o order_n to_o excommunication_n i_o desire_v that_o the_o business_n my_o might_n be_v refer_v to_o mr_n ford_n and_o mr_n bartlet_n who_o have_v former_o hear_v it_o and_o after_o the_o fast_o i_o tell_v two_o other_o of_o their_o member_n that_o they_o shall_v bring_v it_o to_o a_o new_a trial_n before_o the_o minister_n of_o exeter_n with_o who_o i_o be_v in_o communion_n promise_v to_o stand_v to_o their_o determination_n the_o letter_n likewise_o mistress_n allen_n and_o myself_o send_v the_o church_n do_v witness_v sufficient_o that_o neither_o of_o we_o refuse_v to_o hear_v the_o church_n unto_o this_o charge_n he_o add_v that_o of_o separation_n charge_n and_o though_o she_o have_v lift_v up_o her_o right_a hand_n to_o heaven_n to_o walk_v in_o fellowship_n with_o we_o yet_o have_v she_o separate_v from_o we_o and_o to_o this_o day_n seek_v not_o reconciliation_n neither_o have_v she_o express_v repentance_n for_o her_o sin_n etc._n etc._n resol_n this_o be_v likewise_o confess_v and_o acknowledge_v that_o i_o separate_v from_o they_o the_o ground_n of_o my_o separation_n be_v lay_v down_o in_o my_o narrative_a to_o which_o i_o shall_v far_o add_v 1._o that_o there_o be_v a_o clause_n in_o our_o first_o engagement_n bind_v every_o one_o of_o we_o not_o to_o rest_v in_o the_o light_n then_o receive_v but_o to_o study_n to_o know_v the_o mind_n of_o god_n and_o live_v up_o to_o it_o and_o so_o according_o have_v study_v the_o mind_n of_o god_n concern_v our_o separation_n from_o other_o church_n of_o christ_n i_o find_v it_o to_o be_v sinful_a and_o therefore_o dare_v no_o long_a to_o continue_v therein_o 2._o if_o i_o engage_v so_o to_o walk_v in_o fellowship_n with_o you_o as_o to_o deny_v it_o to_o other_o of_o god_n people_n of_o which_o there_o be_v many_o i_o hope_v in_o this_o city_n i_o be_o sorry_a for_o it_o and_o to_o show_v my_o repentance_n i_o have_v reform_v by_o leave_a your_o society_n in_o which_o i_o can_v not_o continue_v without_o the_o guilt_n of_o sin_n if_o a_o man_n shall_v promise_v yea_o swear_v to_o that_o which_o be_v sin_n he_o have_v better_a to_o break_v then_o to_o keep_v his_o oath_n yea_o we_o be_v likewise_o engage_v to_o hold_v communion_n with_o other_o church_n of_o christ_n but_o this_o be_v now_o deny_v unless_o it_o be_v with_o those_o that_o be_v congregationall_a as_o for_o what_o he_o add_v concern_v my_o not_o express_v repentance_n for_o my_o sin_n etc._n etc._n resol_n i_o shall_v answer_v with_o job_n c._n 27._o god_n forbid_v that_o i_o shall_v justify_v you_o by_o confess_v that_o which_o i_o be_o not_o guilty_a of_o till_o i_o die_v i_o will_v not_o remove_v my_o integrity_n from_o i_o my_o righteousness_n as_o to_o your_o impeachment_n i_o hold_v fast_o and_o will_v not_o let_v it_o go_v my_o heart_n shall_v not_o reproach_v i_o for_o base_o submit_v to_o any_o thing_n against_o my_o conscience_n so_o long_o as_o i_o live_v in_o pag._n 23._o he_o speak_v of_o my_o undervalue_v excommunication_n &_o slight_v it_o in_o these_o word_n viz._n the_o other_o mean_v i_o as_o little_o value_v this_o institution_n of_o christ_n for_o as_o i_o be_o inform_v she_o say_v excommunication_n be_v but_o as_o the_o break_n of_o a_o horse_n over_o the_o hedge_n etc._n etc._n resol_n i_o have_v be_v heretofore_o and_o be_o at_o present_a so_o far_o from_o slight_v excommunication_n right_o administer_v as_o that_o it_o make_v i_o tremble_v to_o behold_v myself_o accuse_v thereof_o as_o if_o i_o slight_v the_o ordinance_n itself_o i_o look_v on_o it_o as_o a_o ordinance_n of_o jesus_n christ_n as_o that_o sword_n which_o he_o have_v give_v his_o church_n for_o the_o cut_n off_o contagious_a member_n as_o that_o which_o he_o have_v appoint_v and_o ordain_v to_o as_o high_a a_o end_n for_o aught_o i_o know_v as_o any_o other_o ordinance_n viz_o the_o destruction_n of_o the_o flesh_n that_o the_o spirit_n may_v be_v save_v in_o the_o day_n of_o the_o lord_n jesus_n and_o as_o for_o the_o slight_a expression_n concern_v this_o ordinance_n with_o which_o he_o charge_v i_o i_o say_v it_o be_v a_o notorious_a slander_n as_o he_o have_v lay_v it_o down_o the_o truth_n be_v that_o to_o some_o who_o speak_v about_o excommunication_n i_o tell_v they_o how_o it_o have_v be_v former_o abuse_v in_o this_o nation_n by_o many_o who_o as_o it_o be_v report_v will_v excommunicate_v for_o such_o a_o trespass_n as_o a_o horse_n to_o break_v over_o a_o hedge_n and_o far_o add_v that_o i_o value_v a_o unjust_a excommunication_n no_o more_o than_o i_o do_v that_o and_o because_o i_o look_v on_o mr_n stucleys_n late_a excommunication_n as_o such_o therefore_o do_v i_o set_v light_n by_o it_o as_o luther_n do_v by_o the_o pope_n bull_n for_o which_o he_o be_v never_o charge_v by_o any_o protestant_n in_o do_v of_o which_o i_o be_o no_o more_o to_o be_v condemn_v for_o slight_v this_o ordinance_n in_o general_a than_o he_o it_o will_v be_v find_v upon_o trial_n that_o mr_n stucley_n have_v a_o far_o low_a esteem_n of_o this_o ordinance_n than_o myself_o otherwise_o he_o will_v never_o have_v so_o abuse_v it_o as_o he_o have_v for_o the_o promote_a his_o own_o interest_n and_o carnal_a design_n which_o be_v the_o ready_a way_n to_o make_v it_o contemptible_a in_o the_o judgement_n and_o opinion_n of_o those_o who_o be_v not_o well_o acquaint_v with_o it_o thus_o i_o have_v do_v with_o the_o true_a account_n and_o now_o return_v to_o what_o he_o say_v farther_o concern_v i_o in_o his_o answer_n to_o mr_n toby_n allen_n pag._n 45._o her_o crime_n and_o contumacy_n be_v very_o great_a the_o church_n think_v themselves_o oblige_v to_o suspend_v she_o from_o communion_n before_o ever_o she_o join_v in_o the_o sacrament_n with_o any_o other_o resol_n that_o this_o suspension_n be_v for_o no_o other_o crime_n or_o contumacy_n than_o my_o leave_v they_o and_o my_o refuse_v to_o return_v unto_o they_o and_o therefore_o it_o be_v not_o think_v sufficient_a to_o debar_v i_o from_o communion_n with_o other_o of_o god_n people_n in_o this_o city_n by_o those_o who_o hear_v the_o whole_a business_n and_o thorough_o examine_v the_o circumstance_n thereof_o char._n in_o the_o next_o place_n he_o charge_v mr_n allen_n with_o a_o lie_n for_o affirm_v that_o the_o quarrel_n between_o the_o church_n and_o i_o begin_v because_o i_o have_v a_o mind_n to_o hear_v some_o other_o minister_n which_o he_o say_v be_v abominable_o false_a and_o far_o that_o this_o be_v no_o particular_a for_o which_o i_o be_v ever_o admonish_v by_o the_o church_n in_o pag._n 45.46_o and_o again_o he_o say_v that_o the_o quarrel_n begin_v in_o my_o contentious_a spirit_n and_o sow_a division_n and_o be_v increase_v by_o lie_v res_fw-la 1_o that_o i_o be_v admonish_v for_o hear_v other_o minister_n by_o the_o church_n it_o be_v manifest_a by_o what_o be_v already_o set_v down_o 2_o that_o the_o quarrel_n do_v not_o begin_v in_o my_o contentious_a spirit_n and_o sow_v division_n nor_o be_v increase_v by_o lie_v it_o be_v also_o apparent_a as_o for_o lie_v i_o be_v never_o charge_v with_o it_o till_o i_o leave_v they_o and_o as_o for_o contention_n etc._n etc._n i_o never_o meddle_v with_o church_n affair_n after_o the_o officer_n be_v choose_v unless_o it_o be_v once_o in_o reference_n to_o a_o person_n propose_v when_o ganicle_n interrupt_v i_o the_o qurarell_n break_v out_o at_o a_o tuesday_n meeting_n mr._n stucley_n be_v absent_a from_o that_o meeting_n and_o so_o know_v nothing_o of_o it_o but_o by_o the_o report_n of_o other_o it_o so_o much_o concern_v i_o i_o have_v reason_n to_o know_v it_o better_o than_o other_o the_o account_n whereof_o