but_o jesus_n christ_n make_v my_o faith_n to_o fight_v against_o it_o but_o it_o be_v very_o sad_a and_o bitter_a to_o i_o and_o after_o i_o be_v buffet_v god_n make_v i_o see_v the_o vileness_n of_o sin_n and_o sinful_a thought_n and_o make_v i_o in_o his_o strength_n resolve_v against_o all_o sin_n and_o to_o hate_v it_o and_o to_o walk_v colse_o with_o my_o god_n and_o choose_v rather_o to_o offend_v all_o the_o world_n then_o commit_v the_o least_o sin_n and_o to_o lose_v all_o and_o suffer_v all_o misery_n rather_o than_o commit_v the_o least_o sin_n for_o god_n can_v make_v one_o own_o heart_n and_o conscience_n a_o hell_n to_o one_o and_o one_o bed_n and_o all_o one_o comfort_n bitter_a as_o death_n and_o i_o desire_v to_o prize_v mercy_n and_o close_a walking_n with_o god_n to_o lie_v down_o and_o rise_v up_o with_o he_o and_o to_o pity_v other_o this_o precious_a experience_n and_o lesson_n god_n teach_v i_o by_o that_o affliction_n as_o by_o many_o other_o and_o drive_v sin_n and_o vain_a thought_n from_o i_o in_o some_o measure_n make_v christ_n sweet_a and_o fulfil_v his_o word_n in_o rom._n 6.14_o and_o rom._n 8.28_o my_o god_n do_v give_v i_o sweet_a experience_n of_o the_o growth_n of_o grace_n in_o my_o soul_n and_o all_o from_o the_o virtue_n of_o christ_n blood_n before_o this_o sacrament_n my_o preparation_n be_v not_o so_o great_a as_o they_o shall_v have_v be_v but_o my_o god_n do_v drive_v i_o from_o rest_v on_o any_o thing_n in_o myself_o and_o bring_v i_o to_o he_o without_o money_n and_o without_o price_n and_o give_v i_o sweet_a assurance_n of_o the_o truth_n of_o the_o work_n of_o grace_n on_o my_o heart_n i_o love_v he_o because_o he_o love_v i_o first_o and_o with_o his_o love_a kindness_n do_v he_o draw_v i_o this_o sabbath_n when_o i_o go_v to_o the_o sacrament_n i_o see_v my_o preparation_n small_a and_o my_o thought_n not_o so_o sweet_a as_o they_o shall_v but_o my_o heart_n desire_v the_o lord_n to_o order_v my_o thought_n aright_o and_o act_v my_o grace_n in_o sing_v part_n of_o the_o 23_o psalm_n before_o morning_n sermon_n god_n sweet_o melt_v i_o in_o some_o measure_n with_o some_o tear_n of_o love_n and_o after_o do_v as_o it_o be_v sweet_o take_v i_o by_o the_o hand_n set_v i_o down_o at_o his_o table_n and_o comfortable_o intimate_v it_o be_v my_o portion_n and_o so_o i_o sit_v under_o his_o shadow_n with_o great_a delight_n and_o his_o fruit_n be_v sweet_a unto_o my_o taste_n and_o god_n do_v act_v my_o faith_n to_o take_v christ_n and_o pardon_v sanctification_n mortification_n in_o his_o blood_n and_o seal_v deliverance_n from_o temptation_n by_o his_o body_n break_v and_o blood_n shed_v and_o all_o the_o fruit_n thereof_o some_o effect_n i_o have_v afterward_o and_o the_o word_n be_v sweet_a and_o i_o come_v home_o rejoice_v and_o resolve_v to_o live_v and_o die_v to_z and_z for_o and_o with_o god_n give_v myself_o for_o ever_o to_o he_o to_o live_v and_o move_v all_o in_o he_o and_o by_o he_o to_o rest_v upon_o his_o word_n and_o promise_n and_o expect_v to_o live_v by_o he_o according_a to_o it_o i_o desire_v to_o have_v such_o a_o day_n again_o to_o receive_v christ_n i_o be_v many_o way_n fail_v all_o be_v free_a grace_n god_n do_v all_o that_o be_v good_a in_o i_o for_o i_o be_o a_o hell_n by_o nature_n but_o i_o have_v find_v most_o precious_a virtue_n in_o the_o blood_n of_o jesus_n christ_n that_o it_o have_v in_o some_o measure_n meeken_v my_o spirit_n and_o overcome_v wicked_a thought_n in_o i_o next_o sacrament_n i_o be_v fail_v in_o my_o preparation_n and_o act_n of_o my_o grace_n and_o be_v trouble_v i_o have_v no_o more_o light_n of_o god_n countenance_n and_o my_o corrupt_a nature_n be_v apt_a to_o rise_v but_o god_n keep_v it_o down_o and_o afterward_o teach_v i_o these_o lesson_n by_o it_o 1._o that_o sin_n be_v not_o so_o bitter_a to_o i_o nor_o so_o bitter_o bewail_v by_o i_o as_o it_o ought_v the_o more_o bitter_a sin_n be_v the_o sweet_a be_v christ_n 2._o that_o god_n will_v have_v i_o prize_v ordinance_n to_o enjoy_v christ_n but_o not_o to_o rest_v upon_o they_o 3._o that_o i_o shall_v live_v by_o faith_n and_o not_o by_o sense_n yea_o though_o there_o be_v no_o sense_n 4._o that_o god_n love_a countenance_n be_v better_a than_o life_n and_o that_o god_n will_v have_v i_o depend_v and_o content_v with_o whatsoever_o he_o will_v give_v o_o that_o i_o can_v learn_v and_o practice_v these_o lesson_n which_o be_v precious_a fruit_n of_o the_o ordinance_n this_o sacrament_n i_o be_v fail_v in_o my_o meditation_n examination_n and_o excitation_n and_o my_o dead_a heart_n much_o hinder_v i_o in_o the_o service_n of_o the_o live_a god_n but_o the_o lord_n bring_v i_o to_o his_o table_n with_o some_o assurance_n it_o be_v my_o portion_n and_o i_o sit_v under_o his_o shadow_n and_o he_o act_v my_o grace_n i_o desire_v to_o magnify_v free_a grace_n and_o to_o expect_v strength_n from_o he_o to_o do_v it_o according_a to_o the_o covenant_n seal_v in_o his_o blood_n this_o sacrament_n i_o have_v some_o sweet_a act_n of_o faith_n above_o sense_n and_o assurance_n that_o god_n be_v my_o father_n and_o his_o power_n and_o wisdom_n will_v order_v all_o thing_n for_o my_o good_a this_o sacrament_n though_o i_o do_v not_o mourn_v for_o my_o sin_n that_o do_v slay_v my_o saviour_n nor_o act_v sacramental_a repentance_n as_o i_o ought_v yet_o by_o faith_n i_o receive_v jesus_n christ_n and_o come_v home_o with_o some_o comfort_n and_o have_v some_o softness_n of_o heart_n i_o have_v sweet_a expeâ—ience_n of_o my_o god_n answer_v my_o prayer_n in_o the_o very_a thing_n i_o desire_v this_o sacrament_n though_o i_o do_v not_o receive_v so_o much_o of_o christ_n as_o i_o desire_v yet_o i_o have_v some_o sweet_a effect_n of_o his_o blood_n in_o resolve_v in_o his_o strength_n not_o to_o give_v way_n to_o unbelief_n nor_o sin_n and_o desire_v to_o come_v again_o to_o his_o ordinance_n this_o day_n i_o be_v at_o a_o fast_o and_o god_n come_v sweet_o in_o and_o melt_v my_o heart_n and_o make_v his_o promise_n good_a that_o they_o that_o wait_v on_o he_o shall_v renew_v their_o strength_n god_n sweet_o answer_v my_o 〈…〉_o mercy_n for_o one_o of_o my_o child_n this_o day_n i_o do_v receive_v jesus_n christ_n in_o the_o sacrament_n and_o come_v home_o rejoice_v and_o assure_v my_o sin_n be_v pardon_v and_o that_o christ_n can_v as_o well_o be_v pull_v out_o of_o heaven_n as_o i_o pull_v from_o christ_n i_o renew_v my_o covenant_n i_o give_v myself_o to_o my_o god_n for_o his_o service_n for_o ever_o this_o sacrament_n i_o do_v receive_v jesus_n christ_n and_o sweet_a influence_n from_o he_o and_o i_o desire_v to_o honour_v he_o in_o all_o thing_n for_o ever_o in_o my_o soul_n body_n estate_n will_n affection_n and_o all_o i_o and_o all_o i_o have_v be_v his_o and_o to_o be_v at_o his_o rule_n in_o all_o thing_n at_o all_o time_n these_o be_v fruit_n of_o christ_n blood_n i_o desire_v to_o bear_v about_o the_o world_n 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her_o family_n order_v and_o take_v care_n thereof_o and_o they_o in_o it_o and_o herself_o employ_v about_o something_o or_o other_o of_o the_o same_o when_o she_o be_v not_o in_o her_o spiritual_a converse_v with_o the_o lord_n or_o take_v off_o by_o other_o occasion_n she_o consider_v well_o both_o her_o husband_n estate_n and_o free_v they_o from_o the_o incumberance_n for_o her_o child_n who_o she_o much_o endeavour_v to_o make_v the_o child_n of_o god_n in_o bring_v they_o up_o in_o his_o nurture_n and_o admonition_n and_o keep_v divers_a day_n of_o fast_n by_o herself_o to_o seek_v the_o lord_n for_o they_o in_o which_o and_z divers_z other_o respect_n they_o can_v not_o but_o arise_v and_o call_v her_o bless_a and_o give_v we_o she_o of_o the_o fruit_n of_o her_o hand_n and_o let_v she_o own_o work_n praise_v she_o in_o the_o gate_n as_o her_o life_n so_o her_o death_n be_v full_a of_o grace_n and_o comfort_n the_o lord_n strengthen_v she_o upon_o her_o bed_n of_o languish_v 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choose_v and_o ordain_v a_o pastor_n to_o she_o and_o the_o people_n there_o at_o hawkherst_n that_o ever_o i_o be_v so_o acquaint_v with_o such_o a_o eminent_a practical_a experimental_a spiritual_a staid_a believer_n abound_v so_o much_o with_o the_o grace_n and_o sealing_n and_o joy_n of_o the_o holy_a ghost_n that_o i_o shall_v have_v such_o a_o taste_n of_o that_o happiness_n and_o delight_n that_o be_v in_o the_o society_n of_o real_a saint_n how_o do_v i_o live_v as_o in_o a_o low_a heaven_n walking_z as_o in_o paradise_n whilst_o i_o be_v there_o rejoice_v in_o the_o goodness_n of_o the_o lord_n all_o the_o day_n long_o call_v the_o wall_n salvation_n and_o the_o gate_n praise_n what_o sweet_a experience_n of_o christ_n have_v i_o frequent_o communicate_v to_o i_o from_o she_o how_o great_o do_v she_o strengthen_v my_o hand_n in_o the_o lord_n work_v in_o the_o midst_n of_o all_o the_o opposition_n among_o that_o people_n the_o righteous_a god_n recompense_v it_o and_o all_o the_o work_n and_o labour_n of_o love_n she_o show_v towards_o his_o name_n unto_o i_o into_o the_o bosom_n of_o heâ—_n child_n seven_o fold_n as_o likewise_o alâ—_n i_o find_v from_o my_o much_o honour_a long_o decease_v friend_n mr._n scot_n heâ—_n husband_n in_o his_o day_n who_o memory_n be_v very_o precious_a to_o i_o o_o unhappy_a engagement_n that_o so_o disengage_v we_o from_o one_o another_o and_o that_o people_n there_o the_o lord_n be_v righteous_a and_o his_o way_n also_o mercy_n and_o truth_n his_o path_n be_v judgement_n a_o god_n of_o truth_n and_o without_o iniquity_n just_a and_o right_a wonderful_a in_o counsel_n excellent_a in_o work_v wisdom_n and_o might_n be_v his_o he_o change_v time_n and_o season_n make_v every_o thing_n beautiful_a in_o they_o manifold_a be_v his_o work_n in_o wisdom_n have_v he_o make_v and_o do_v they_o all_o the_o earth_n be_v full_a of_o his_o riches_n whatsoever_o he_o please_v that_o do_v he_o in_o heaven_n and_o in_o the_o earth_n and_o in_o all_o deep_a place_n we_o be_v not_o to_o murmur_v and_o say_v what_o be_v the_o cause_n the_o former_a day_n be_v better_a than_o these_o for_o we_o may_v not_o wise_o inquire_v concern_v this_o yet_o unsensible_a we_o shall_v not_o be_v of_o such_o a_o loss_n and_o breach_n as_o this_o be_v like_o the_o sea_n who_o can_v heal_v it_o whereunto_o shall_v i_o liken_v and_o compare_v it_o that_o such_o a_o burn_a and_o shine_a light_n shall_v go_v out_o among_o we_o such_o a_o fix_a star_n a_o star_n of_o the_o first_o magnitude_n shall_v seâ—â—_n our_o horizon_n how_o have_v the_o lord_n cover_v those_o part_n with_o a_o cloud_n in_o his_o anger_n and_o cast_v down_o the_o beauty_n of_o they_o to_o the_o ground_n how_o be_v the_o gold_n become_v dim_a and_o the_o most_o fine_a gold_n change_v how_o be_v the_o precious_a daughter_n of_o zion_n and_o the_o glory_n of_o those_o part_n depart_v for_o these_o thing_n i_o weep_v my_o eye_n my_o eye_n run_v down_o with_o water_n oh_o that_o my_o head_n be_v water_n and_o my_o eye_n a_o fountain_n of_o tear_n that_o i_o may_v weep_v day_n and_o night_n even_o with_o the_o weep_n of_o jazer_n yea_o mourn_v with_o a_o great_a mourning_n as_o the_o mourning_n of_o hadadrimmon_n in_o the_o valley_n of_o megiddon_n for_o good_a josiah_n when_o he_o be_v take_v away_o oh_o dolour_n exprome_v vires_fw-la non_fw-la sum_fw-la solito_fw-la contentus_fw-la soon_o neâ—_n indociles_fw-la lugere_fw-la simus_fw-la scotam_fw-la â—â—emus_fw-la you_o minister_n of_o christ_n weep_v over_o she_o that_o be_v such_o a_o cordial_a constant_a prizer_n of_o you_o o_o weal_n of_o kent_n take_v up_o a_o wail_n for_o she_o the_o bright_a star_n in_o all_o your_o firmament_n be_v set_v o_o hawkherst_n make_v a_o bitter_a lamentation_n for_o she_o who_o come_v among_o you_o be_v like_o the_o rain_n upon_o the_o mow_v grass_n as_o shower_n that_o water_n the_o earth_n o_o poor_a of_o those_o part_n and_o houlbourn_n and_o elsewhere_o set_v 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the_o country_n to_o ease_v the_o lady_n her_o mother_n in_o her_o ancient_a year_n which_o she_o do_v never_o before_o in_o london_n though_o always_o in_o the_o country_n till_o this_o last_o winter_n o_o what_o a_o loss_n have_v her_o friend_n yea_o what_o a_o loss_n have_v the_o church_n of_o god_n and_o hundred_o of_o poor_a people_n who_o bowel_n she_o refresh_v but_o now_o she_o be_v go_v before_o where_o her_o soul_n long_o desire_v to_o be_v the_o lord_n help_v we_o to_o make_v after_o and_o not_o to_o wish_v for_o she_o again_o or_o that_o she_o have_v not_o dye_v why_o shall_v we_o be_v so_o foolish_a it_o will_v not_o avail_v and_o why_o so_o sinful_a and_o so_o impudent_a as_o to_o contradict_v god_n he_o see_v it_o best_a to_o remove_v she_o hence_o and_o why_o shall_v we_o wish_v she_o back_o again_o she_o be_v triumph_v in_o heaven_n over_o the_o world_n sin_n and_o satan_n sing_v alleluja_n unto_o he_o that_o sit_v on_o the_o throne_n and_o unto_o the_o lamb_n for_o ever_o and_o ever_o she_o be_v among_o the_o spirit_n of_o just_a man_n make_v perfect_a and_o the_o innumerable_a company_n of_o holy_a angel_n and_o with_o the_o great_a god_n the_o judge_n of_o all_o and_o with_o the_o bless_a jesus_n the_o mediator_n of_o the_o new_a covenant_n and_o with_o the_o holy_a ghost_n the_o comforter_n in_o the_o large_a fruition_n of_o the_o beatifical_a vision_n where_o be_v fullness_n of_o joy_n and_o pleasure_n for_o evermore_o and_o why_o shall_v i_o wish_v she_o from_o such_o glorious_a company_n and_o transcendent_a bliss_n as_o never_o eye_n have_v see_v nor_o ear_n hear_v neither_o have_v enter_v into_o the_o heart_n of_o man_n to_o which_o mercy_n be_v the_o lord_n in_o his_o due_a time_n bring_v we_o by_o the_o merit_n of_o his_o dear_a son_n and_o our_o saviour_n jesus_n christ_n sir_n these_o six_o head_n which_o i_o have_v here_o send_v you_o be_v what_o my_o friend_n write_v who_o have_v know_v she_o many_o year_n you_o affectionate_o to_o serve_v you_o in_o christ_n nicolas_n thorowgood_n finis_fw-la errata_fw-la pag._n 79._o lin_v 19_o for_o landherst_n r._n sandherst_n p._n 118._o l._n 12._o deal_n comma_n after_o shop_n