deceived CHAP. XXI That we are to rest in God above all his gifts and benefits CHristian Above all things and in all things O my soul thou shalt ever rest in the Lord for he is the everlasting rest of the Saints Grant me O most sweet and loving Jesus to rest in thee above all creatures above all health and beauty above all glory and honor above all power and dignity above all knowledg and subtilty above all riches and arts above all joy and gladness above all fame and praise above all sweetness and comfort above all hope and promise above all desert and desire above all gifts and presents that thou canst give and impart unto us above all mirth and jubilee that the mind of Man can receive and feel lastly above Angels and Archangels and above all the Heavenly host above all visible and invisible things and above all that thou art not O my God 2. For that thou my Lord God art best of all thou alone art most high thou alone most powerful thou alone most full and sufficient thou alone most sweet and solacing thou alone most lovely and loving thou alone most noble and glorious above all things in whom all good things together both perfectly are and ever have been and shall be and therefore it is too little and not sufficient whatsoever thou bestowest on me besides thy self or revealest unto me of thy self or promisest whilest thou art not seen and not fully obtained for surely my heart cannot truly rest nor be fully contented unless it rest in thee and surmount all gifts and creatures whatsoever 3. O my most beloved Bridegroom Jesus Christ the most pure lover the governor of all creatures O that I had the wings of true liberty that I might flie and rest in thee O when shall it be fully granted me to consider in quietness of mind and see how sweet thou art my Lord God! When shall I fully gather up my self into thee that by reason of my love to thee I may not feel my self but thee alone above all sense and feeling in a manner not known unto every one but now I oftentimes sigh and bear my infelicity with grief for that many evils occurr in this vale of miseries which do often trouble grieve and overcloud me often hinder and distract me allure and intangle me for that I can have no free access unto thee nor enjoy thy sweet embracings wherewith thou ever favorest the blessed Spirits O let my sighs and manifold desolations on Earth affect thee 4. O Jesus the brightness of eternal glory and comfort of the pilgrim soul with thee is my tongue without voice and my very silence speaketh unto thee How long doth my Lord delay to come Let him come unto me his poor Servant and make me glad Let him put forth his hand and deliver miserable me from all anguish Come O come for without thee I shall have no joyful day nor hour for thou art my joy and without thee my table is empty A wretched creature I am and in a manner imprisoned and loaden with Irons until thou comfortest me with the light of thy presence and settest me at liberty and shewest a friendly countenance unto me 5. Let others seek what they please instead of thee but for me nothing else doth nor shall delight me but thou only my God my hope my everlasting salvation I will not hold my peace nor cease to pray until thy grace return again and thou speak inwardly unto me Christ. Behold I am here behold I come unto thee because thou hast called upon me Thy tears and the desire of thy soul thy humiliation and the contrition of thy heart have inclined and brought me unto thee Christian. And I said Lord I have called thee and have desired to enjoy thee being ready to refuse all things for thee For thou first hast stirred me up that I might seek thee Blessed be thou therefore O Lord that hast shewed this goodness to thy Servant according to the multitude of thy mercies 6. What hath thy servant more to say before thee but that he do greatly humble himself in thy sight always mindful of his own iniquity and vileness For there is none like unto thee in all whatsoever is wonderful in Heaven and Earth Thy works are very good thy judgments true and by thy providence all things are governed Praise therefore and glory be unto thee O wisdom of the Father let my mouth my soul and all creatures together praise and bless thee CHAP. XXII Of the remembrance of the manifold benefits of God CHristian Open O Lord my heart in thy Law and teach me to walk in thy Commandments Grant me to understand thy will and to remember thy benefits as well in general as in particular with great reverence and diligent consideration that henceforward I may be able worthily to give thee thanks But I know and confess that I am not able in the least point to give thee due thanks for the favors which thou bestowest upon me I am less than the least of all thy benefits and when I consider thy noble bounty the greatness thereof maketh my spirit to faint 2. All that we have in our soul and body and whatsoever we possess outwardly or inwardly naturally or supernaturally are thy benefits and do speak thee bountiful merciful and good from whom we have received all good things Although one have received more another less all notwithstanding are thine and without thee even the least cannot be had He that hath received greater cannot glory of his own desert nor extol himself above others nor insult over the lesser for he is greater and better that ascribeth least unto himself and is more humble and religious in rendring thanks And he that esteemeth himself vilest of all Men and judgeth himself most unworthy is fittest to receive great blessings 3. And he that hath received fewer ought not to be sorry nor take it grievously nor envy them that are enriched with greater store but attend rather unto thee and highly praise thy goodness for that thou bestowest thy gifts so bountifully so freely and so willingly without respect of persons All things proceed from thee and therefore in all things thou art to be praised Thou knowest what is fit to be given to every one and why this Man hath less and he more it is not ours but thine to judge who dost exactly know what is meet for every one 4. Wherefore my Lord God I esteem it as a great mercy not to have much of that which outwardly and in the opinion of Men might seem worthy of glory and applause so that he who considereth the poverty and unworthiness of his person ought not therefore to conceive grief or sorrow or to be therefore troubled but rather to take great comfort and to be glad for that thou O God hast chosen the poor and humble and the despised of this world for thy self and for thy familiar and domestick attendants
good shall not be grounded in true joy nor enlarged in his heart but shall be many ways encumbred and straitned Thou oughtest therefore to ascribe nothing of good unto thy self nor attribute goodness unto any Man but give all unto God without whom Man hath nothing I have bestowed all and will that all be returned unto me again and with great strictness I require thanks 3. This is the truth that putteth to flight vain Glory and if heavenly grace and true Love enter in there shall be no envy nor straitness of heart neither shall there be any place for self-love For Divine Love overcometh all and enlargeth all the powers of the Soul If thou beest truly wise in me alone thou wilt rejoyce in me alone thou wilt hope For none is good but God alone who is to be praised above all things and to be blessed in all CHAP. X. That the World being despised it is a sweet thing to serve God CHristian Now I will speak again O Lord and will not be silent I will say in the ears of my God my Lord and my King that is on High Psal. 31. O how great is the abundance of thy goodness O Lord which thou hast laid up for those that fear thee But what art thou to them that Love thee What to them that serve thee with their whole heart Truly unspeakable is the sweetness of contemplating thee which thou bestowest on them that Love thee In this chiefly thou hast shewed me the sweetness of thy Love For that when I was not thou madest me and when I went astray far off from thee thou broughtest me back again that I might serve thee and hast commanded me to Love thee 2. O Fountain of everlasting Love what shall I say of thee How can I forget thee that hast vouchsafed to remember me even when I wasted away and perished Thou hast shewed mercy to thy Servant beyond all my expectation And hast exhibited thy favor and friendship beyond all merit What shall I return unto thee for this grace For it is not granted to every one to forsake all things to renounce the World and to undertake a life of Religious retiredness It is much that I should serve thee whom all Creatures are bound to serve It ought not to seem much unto me to serve thee but this rather seemeth much and marvellous unto me that thou vouchsafest to receive into thy service one so poor and unworthy and to joyn him with thy beloved Servants 3. Behold all is thine which I have and whereby I serve thee And yet contrarywise thou rather servest me than I thee Behold Heaven and Earth which thou hast created for the service of Man are ready at hand and do daily perform whatsoever thou dost command and this is little yea thou hast also appointed the Angels to the service of Man But that which excelleth all this is that thou thy self hast vouchsafed to serve Man and hast promised to give thy self unto him 4. What shall I give thee for all these thousands of benefits I would I could serve thee all the days of my life I would I were able at least for one day to do thee some worthy service Thou art truly worthy of all service of all honor and everlasting praise Thou art truly my Lord and I thy poor Servant that am bound to serve thee with all my might neither ought I ever to be weary of praising thee And this I wish to do this I desire and whatsoever is wanting unto me vouchsafe I beseech thee to supply 5. It is great honor a great glory to serve thee and despise all things for thee For great grace shall be given to them that shall willingly subject themselves to thy most holy service They shall receive the most sweet comfort of the holy Ghost that for thy love shall renounce all carnal delights they shall attain great freedom of mind that for thy names sake shall enter into the narrow way and shall have left off all worldly care 6. O sweet and delightful service of God by which Man is truly made free and holy O sacred state of religious employment which maketh Man equal to Angels pleasing to God terrible to Devils grateful and of great esteem to all the faithful O service to be imbraced and always wished for by which we obtain the greatest good and attain to that joy which never shall have end CHAP. XI That the desires of our heart are to be examined and moderated CHrist. Son thou oughtest to learn many things more which thou hast not well learned Christian. What are those Lord Christ. That thou frame thy desires wholly according to my pleasure and be not a lover of thy self but an affectionate follower of my will Thy desires oftentimes enflame thee and drive thee forwards with violence But consider whether thou art moved rather for my honor than for thine own profit If I be the cause thou wilt be well content with whatsoever I shall ordain But if there lurk in thee any self-seeking behold this is it that hindereth thee and weigheth thee down 2. Beware therefore thou lean not too much upon thy own preconceived desire without asking my counsel lest perhaps afterwards it repent thee and thou begin now to dislike that which before did please thee and which thou earnestly desiredst as the best For every affection that seemeth good is not presently to be followed nor every contrary affection at the first to be avoided It is expedient sometimes to use a restraint even in good desires and endeavors lest by importunity thou incurre distraction of mind and by thy want of self-government beget a scandal unto others or being gainsaid by others thou be suddenly troubled and fall 3. Yet sometimes thou oughtest to use violence and resist manfully thy sensual appetites and respect not what the flesh would or would not but rather to labor that even perforce it be subject to the spirit And it is to be chastised so long and to be forced under servitude until it readily obey in all things and learn to be content with a little and to be pleased with plain things and not to murmure against any inconvenience CHAP. XII Of patience and of striving against conoupiscence CHristian Lord God I perceive patience is very necessary unto me for that many adversities do happen in this life For howsoever I shall dispose of my peace my life cannot be without war and affliction Christ. So it is Son And my will is not that thou seek after that peace which is void of temptations or that which feeleth no contrariety but then think that thou hast found peace when thou art exercised with sundry tribulations and tried in many adversities 2. If thou say that thou art not able to suffer much how then wilt thou endure the Fire hereafter Of two evils the less is always to be chosen That thou maist therefore avoid everlasting punishment in the next World endeavor to suffer
on the contrary How pitiful and grievous a thing it is to see them that live in a dissolute and disordered sort not applying themselves to that for which they are called O how hurtful a thing it is to neglect the good purposes of their vocation and to busie themselves in that which is not committed to their care 6. Be mindful of the profession thou hast made and have always before the eyes of thy soul the remembrance of thy Saviour crucified Thou hast good cause to be ashamed looking upon the life of Jesus Christ seeing thou hast as yet no more endeavored to conform thy self unto him though thou hast walked a long time in the way of God A religious person that exerciseth himself seriously and devoutly in the most holy life and passion of our Lord shall there abundantly find whatsoever is necessary and profitable for him neither shall he need to seek any better thing out of Jesus O if Jesus crucified would come into our hearts how quickly and fully should we be instructed in all truth 7. A fervent religious person taketh and beareth all well that is commanded him but he that is negligent and cold hath tribulation upon tribulation and on all sides is afflicted for he is void of inward consolation and is forbidden to seek eternal comforts A religious person that liveth not according to discipline lies open to great mischief to the ruine of his soul. He that seeketh liberty and ease shall ever live in disquiet for one thing or other will displease him 8. O that we had nothing elso to do but always with our mouth and whole heart to praise our Lord God! O that thou mightest never have need to eat nor drink nor sleep but mightest always praise God and only employ thy self in spiritual exercises thou shouldest then be much more happy than now thou art when for so many necessities thou art constrained to serve thy body Would God these necessities were not at all but only the spiritual refections of the soul which alas we taste of too seldom 9. When a Man cometh to that estate rhat he seeketh not his comfort from any creature then doth he begin perfectly to relish God Then shall he be contented with whatsoever doth befal him in this world Then shall he neither rejoyce in great matters nor be sorrowful for small but entirely and confidently commit himself to God who shall be unto him all in all to whom nothing doth perish nor die but all things do live unto him and serve him at a beck without delay 10. Remember always thy end and how that time lost never returns Without care and diligence thou shalt never get virtue If thou beginnest to wax cold it will be evil with thee but if thou give thy self to fervor of spirit thou shalt find much peace and feel less labor through the assistance of Gods grace and love of virtue The fervent and diligent Man is prepared for all things It is harder to resist vices and passions than to toil in bodily labors He that avoideth not small faults by little and little falleth into greater Thou wilt always rejoyce in the evening if thou spend the day profitably Be watchful over thy self stir up thy self warn thy self and whatsoever becomes of others neglect not thy self The more holy violence thou usest against thy self the more shall be thy spiritual profiting Amen THE SECOND BOOK CHAP. I. Of the inward Life THE Kingdom of God is within you saith the Lord. Turn thee with thy whole heart unto the Lord and forsake this wretched World and thy Soul shall find rest Learn to despise exteriour things and to give thy self to the interior and thou shalt perceive the Kingdom of God to come into thee For the Kingdom of God is peace and joy in the Holy Ghost which is not given to the wicked Christ will come into thee and shew thee his consolations if thou prepare for him a worthy mansion within thee All his glory and beauty is within and there he pleaseth himself The inward man he often visits and hath with him sweet discourses pleasant solace much peace wonderful familiarity 2. O faithful Soul make ready thy heart for this Bridegroom that he may vouchsafe to come unto thee and dwell within thee For he saith If any love me he will keep my words and we will come unto him and will make our abode with him Give therefore admittance unto Christ and deny entrance to all others When thou hast Christ thou art Rich and he will suffice thee He will be thy faithful and provident helper in all things so as thou shalt not need to trust in men For men are soon changed and quickly fail but Christ remaineth for ever and standeth firmly unto the end 3. There is little trust to be put in frail and mortal man though he be profitable and dear unto thee neither oughtest thou much to be grieved if sometimes he cross and contradict thee They that to day take thy part to morrow may be against thee and so on the contrary they often turn like unto the wind Put all thy trust in God let him be thy fear and thy love He will answer for thee and do in all things what is best Thou hast not here an abiding City and wheresoever thou be thou art a stranger and pilgrim Neither shalt thou ever have rest unless thou be most inwardly united unto Christ. 4. Why dost thou here gaze about since this is not the place of thy rest In Heaven ought to be thy dwelling and all Earthly things are to be lookt upon as it were by the way All things pass away and thou together with them Beware thou cleave not unto them lest thou be entangled and so dost perish Let thy thought be on the Highest and thy prayer directed unto Christ without ceasing If thou canst not contemplate high and heavenly things rest thy self in the passion of Christ and dwell willingly in his Holy wounds For if thou fly devoutly unto the wounds and precious marks of the Lord Jesus thou shalt feel great comfort in tribulation Neither wilt thou much care for being despised of men and wilt easily bear words of detraction 5. Christ was also in the World despised of men and in greatest necessity forsaken by his acquaintance and Friends in the midst of slanders Christ would suffer and be despised and darest thou complain of any Christ had Adversaries and Backbiters and wilt thou have all men thy Friends and Benefactors For what shall thy patience be crowned if no adversity happen unto thee If thou wilt suffer no adversity how wilt thou be the Friend of Christ Suffer with Christ and for Christ if thou desire to Reign with Christ. 6. If thou hadst but once perfectly entred into the secrets of Jesus and tasted a little of his ardent affection then wouldst thou not weigh thine own commodity or discommodity but wouldst rather rejoyce at slanders when they should chance to
Prophets from the beginning and cease not in these days to speak to every one but many are hardned and deaf to my speech The greater number do more willingly listen to the world than to God and follow sooner the desires of their flesh than the will of God The world promiseth temporal and small things and is served with great eagerness I promise most high and eternal things and the hearts of Men are nothing moved therewith Who is he that serveth and obeyeth me with equal care to that with which the world and the Lords thereof are served Blush O Sidon saith the Sea And if thou ask the cause hear wherefore For a little Prebend a long journey is undertaken for everlasting life many will scarce once lift a foot from the ground A thing of small value is sought after greedily for a penny sometimes there is foul contention sor a vain thing and sleight promise Men cease not to toil day and night 3. But alas for an unchangeable good for an inestimable reward for the highest honor and glory without end they are loth to take the least pains Blush therefore slothful and complaining Servant that they are found to be more ready to distruction than thou to life They rejoyce more in vanity than thou in the truth And yet they are sometimes frustrated of their hope but my promise deceiveth none nor sendeth him away empty that trusteth in me I will give that which I have promised I will fulfil that which I have said but to him that remains faithful in my love to the end I am the rewarder of all that are good and do try my devout servants with strong trials 4. Write my words in thy heart and think diligently of them for they will be very necessary in time of temptation What thou understandest not when thou readest thou shalt know in the day of visitation I am wont to visit my elect two several ways to wit with temptation and comfort And I daily read two lessons unto them one reprehending their vices another exhorting them to the increase of virtues He that hath my words and despiseth them hath within himself that shall judg him at the last day A prayer to implore the grace of devotion 5. O Lord my God thou art to me whatsoever is good Who am I that dare speak unto thee I am thy poorest servant and a most vile worm much more poor and contemptible than I can or dare express Remember yet O Lord that I am nothing and can do nothing Thou alone art good just and holy thou canst do all things thou doest all things thou fillest all things only the sinner thou sendest empty away Remember thy mercies and fill my heart with thy grace who will not that thy works be void and in vain 6. How can I bear up my self in this miserable life unless thou strengthen me with thy mercy and grace Turn not thy face from me delay not thy visitation draw not away thy comfort lest my soul become as the thirsty land unto thee Lord teach me to fulfil thy will teach me to live worthily and humbly in thy sight for thou art my wisdom thou dost truly know me and didst know me before the world was made and before I was born in the world CHAP. IV. That we ought to live in truth and humility before God CHrist. Son walk before me in sincerity and truth and ever seek me in simplicity of heart He that walketh before me in truth shall be defended from evil incursions and the Truth shall deliver him from seducers and from the detractions of the wicked If the Truth shall have made thee free thou shalt be truly free and shalt not care for the vain speeches of Men. Christian. Lord it is true According as thou saidst so I beseech thee let it be with me let thy Truth teach me and keep me and bring me safe to an happy end Let it deliver me from all evil affection and inordinate love and I shall walk with thee in great freedom of heart 2. Christ. I will teach thee saith the Truth these things that are right and pleasing in my sight Think of thy sins with great displeasure and grief and never esteem thy self any thing for thy good works Thou art in very deed a sinner thou art subject to and encumbred with may passions Of thy self thou always tendest to nothing thou art quickly cast down quickly overcome quickly troubled quickly dissolved Thou hast nothing wherein thou canst glory but many things for which thou oughtest to despise thy self for thou art much weaker than thou art able to comprehend 3. And therefore let nothing seem much unto thee whatsoever thou doest Let nothing seem great nothing precious and wonderful let nothing seem worthy of estimation nothing high nothing truly and commendable to be desired but that which is everlasting Let the eternal Truth above all things please thee Let thy own great unworthiness always displease thee Fear nothing blame and fly nothing so much as thy vices and sins which ought to displease more than the losses of any thing whatsoever Some walk not sincerely in my sight but led by a certain curiosity and pride will know my secrets and understand the high things of God neglecting themselves and their own salvation These oftentimes for that I resist them do fall into great temptations and sins for their pride and curiosity 4. Fear the judgments of God dread the wrath of the Almighty But discuss not the works of the highest Search thine own iniquities in how much thou hast offended and how much good thou hast neglected Some carry their religion only in Books some in pictures some in outward signs and figures Some have me in their mouths but little in their hearts There are others that being illuminated in their understandings and purged in their affection do always breath after things eternal and are unwilling to hear of the things of this world and do serve the necessities of nature with grief and these perceive what the Spirit of Truth speaketh in them because it teacheth them to despise Earthly and love Heavenly things to neglect the world and all the day and night to desire Heaven CHAP. V. Of the wonderful effect of divine Love CHristian I praise thee O Heavenly Father Father of my Lord Jesus Christ for that thou hast vouchsafed to remember me a poor Creature O Father of mercies and God of all comfort thanks be unto thee who sometimes with thy comfort refreshest me unworthy of all comfort I ever bless and glorifie thee with thy only begotten Son and the holy Ghost for ever and ever O Lord God the holy lover of my soul when thou shalt come into my heart all that is within me will rejoyce Thou art my glory and the exultation of my heart Thou art my hope and refuge in the day of my tribulation 2. But for that I am yet weak in love and imperfect in virtue I have need therefore
to be profitable then grant unto me that I may use this unto thine honor But if thou knowest it will be hurtful unto me and not profitable to the health of my soul take away this desire from me For every desire proceedeth not from the holy Ghost though it seem unto Man right and good It is hard to judge rightly whether a good Spirit or the contrary drive thee to desire this or that or whether also by thine own spirit thou be moved thereunto Many are deceived in the end who at the first seemed to be led by a good Spirit 2. Always therefore whatsoever occurreth unto thy mind to be desired let it be desired and prayed for in the fear of God and with Humility of heart and above all thou oughtest to commit the whole unto me with resignation of thy self and thou oughtest to say Lord thou knowest what is best let this or that be done as thou pleasest Give what thou wilt and how much thou wilt and when thou wilt Deal with me as thou thinkest good and as best pleaseth thee and is most for thy honor Set me where thou wilt and deal with me in all things according to thy will I am in thy hand turn me and turn me again which way soever thou please Behold I am thy Servant prepared for all things for I desire not to live unto my self but unto thee and O that I could do it worthily and perfectly A Prayer for the fulfilling of the will of God 3. Grant me thy Grace O most gracious Jesus that it may be with me and labor with me and persevere with me until the end Grant me always to desire and will that which is most acceptable unto thee and best pleaseth thee Let thy will be mine and let my will ever follow thine and agree perfectly with it Let my will and nill be all one with thine and let me not will or nill any thing else but what thou willest or nillest 4. Grant that I may die to all things that are in the World and to love to be contemned for thy sake and not to be known in this world Grant that above all things that can be desired I may rest in thee and may quiet my heart in thee Thou art the true peace of the heart thou art the only rest out of thee all things are troublesom and unquiet In this very peace that is in thee the one chiefest eternal Good I will sleep and rest Amen CHAP. XVI That true comfort is to be sought in God alone WHatsoever I can desire or imagine for my comfort I look not for it here but hereafter For if I should alone have all the comforts of the world and might enjoy all the delights thereof it is certain that they could not long endure Wherefore my soul thou canst not be fully comforted nor have perfect delight but in God the comforter of the poor and the helper of the humble Expect a while O my soul expect the divine promise and thou shalt have abundance of all good things in Heaven If thou desire inordinately the things that are present thou shalt lose the celestial and eternal Use temporal things and desire eternal Thou canst not be filled with any temporal goods because thou art not created to enjoy them 2. Although thou shouldest enjoy all created good yet couldst thou not be happy thereby nor blessed but in God that hath created all things thy whole beatitude and happiness consisteth not such as is seen and commended by the foolish lovers of the world but such as the good and faithful Servants of Christ expect and the spiritual and pure in heart whose conversation is in Heaven sometimes have a foretast of Vain and short is all humane comfort Blessed and true is the comfort which is received inwardly from the Truth A Religious Man every where carrieth with him Jesus his comforter and saith unto him Be present with me Lord Jesus in every place and time Let this be my comfort to be willing to want all humane comfort And if thy comfort be wanting let thy will and just proving of me be unto me as the greatest comfort for thou wilt not be angry always neither wilt thou threaten for ever CHAP. XVII That all our care is to be placed in God CHrist. Son suffer me to do with thee what I please I know what is expedient for thee Thou thinkest as Man thou judgest in many things as humane affection perswadeth thee Christian. Lord what thou sayest is true Thy care for me is greater than all the care that I can take for my self For he standeth very totteringly that casteth not his whole care upon thee Lord so that my will may remain right and firm towards thee do with me whatsoever it shall please thee For it cannot be but good whatsoever thou doest with me 2. If it be thy will I should be in darkness be thou blessed and if it be thy will I should be in light be thou again Blessed If thou vouchsafest to comfort me be thou Blessed and if thou wilt afflict me be thou ever equally blessed Christ. Son Thus thou oughtest to be minded if thou wilt walk with me Thou must be as ready to suffer as to rejoyce Thou oughtest to be as willing to be poor and needy as full and rich 3. Christian. Lord I will willingly suffer for thee whatsoever thy pleasure is shall befall me I will receive indifferently from thy hand good and evil sweet and sowre delightful and sorrowful and give thee thanks for all that befalleth me Keep me from all sin and I will neither fear death nor Hell so as thou dost not for ever cast me from thee nor blot me out of the Book of life what tribulation soever befal me shall not hurt me CHAP. XVIII That temporal miseries after the example of Christ must be born patiently CHrist. Son I descended from Heaven for thy Salvation I took upon me thy miseries my own love and not any necessity drawing me thereunto that thou mightest learn patience and not grudgingly bear temporal miseries For from the hour of my birth until my death on the Cross I was not without suffering of grief I suffered great want of temporal things I often heard many complaints against me I bore patiently shame and reproaches for benefits I received ingratitude for miracles blasphemies for Heavenly Doctrine reprehensions 2. Christian. Lord for that thou wert patient in thy life-time chiefly fulfilling herein the commandment of thy Father it is reason that I a miserable sinner should shew my self patient according to thy will and for my souls welfare bear the burden of this corruptible life as long as thou wilt For although this present life be burdensom yet notwithstanding it is now by thy grace made very gainful and by thy example and the footsteps of thy Saints more plain and tolerable to the weak Yea much more comfortable also than it was in times past in the old Law
Tongues of Men For whether they interpret well or evil thou art not therefore another Man Where is true peace and true glory Is it not in me And he that coveteth not to please Men nor feareth to displease them shall enjoy much peace From inordinate love and vain fear ariseth all disquietness of heart and distraction of the mind CHAP. XXIX How we ought to call upon God and bless him when tribulation draweth near CHristian Blessed O Lord be thy name for ever since it pleaseth thee that this temptation and tribulation should come upon me I cannot flie it but have need to flie to thee that thou mayest help me and turn it to my good Lord I am now afflicted and it is not well with me I am much troubled with this present suffering And now dear Father what shall I say I am caught amidst straits save me from this hour Yet therefore came I into this hour that thou mayest be glorified when I shall be greatly humbled and by thee delivered Let it please thee Lord to deliver me for poor wretch that I am what can I doe and whither shall I go without thee Grant patience Lord even this time also Help me my God and then I will not fear how grievously soever I be afflicted 2. And now in these my troubles what shall I say Lord thy will be done I have well deserved to be afflicted and grieved Surely I ought to bear it and O that I could bear it with patience until the tempest be passed over and it become calm But thy omnipotent hand is able to take even this temptation from me and to asswage the violence thereof that I utterly sink not under it as oftentimes heretofore thou hast done unto me O my God my mercy And how much the more hard it is to me so much the more easie is this change of the right hand of the most High CHAP. XXX Of craving the divine aid and confidence of recovering grace CHrist. Son I am the Lord that giveth strength in the day of tribulation Come unto me when it is not well with thee This is that which most of all hindereth Heavenly consolation that thou art slow in turning thy self unto Prayer For before thou dost earnestly pray unto me thou seekest in the mean while many comforts and delightest thy self in outward things And hence it comes to pass that all doth little profit thee until thou consider that I am he that delivers those that trust in me and that out of me there is neither powerful help nor profitable counsel nor lasting remedy But now thou having recovered breath after the tempest gather strength again in the light of my mercies for I am at hand saith the Lord to repair all not only entirely but also abundantly and in a very plentiful measure 2. Is there any thing hard to me Or am I like unto him that promiseth and performeth not Where is thy faith Be firm and constant Take courage and be patient comfort will come to thee in due time Wait wait for me I will come and heal thee It is a temptation that vexeth thee and a vain fear that affrighteth thee What else doth the care for future contingencies bring thee but sorrow upon sorrow Sufficient for the day is the evil thereof It is a vain and unprofitable thing to be grieved or to rejoyce for future things that perhaps will never come to pass 3. But it is incident to Man to be deluded with such imaginations and a sign of a weak mind to be so easily drawn away by the suggestion of the enemy For he careth not so he delude and deceive thee whether it be true or false which he proposeth whether he overthrow thee with the love of present or the fear of future things Let not therefore thy heart be troubled neither let it fear Believe in me and put thy trust in my mercy When thou thinkest thy self furthest off from me oftentimes I am nearest unto thee When thou judgest that almost all his lost then oftentimes the greatest advantage of gaining is at hand All is not lost when any thing falleth out contrary Thou must not judg according to that which thou feelest for the present nor so take or give thy self over to any grief from whence soever it cometh as though all hope of delivery were quite gone 4. Think not thy self wholly left although for a time I have sent thee some tribulation or withdrawn thy desired comfort for this is the way to the Kingdom of Heaven And without doubt it is more expedient for thee and the rest of my Servants that ye be exercised with adversities than that ye should have all things according to your desires I know the secret thoughts of thy heart and that it is very expedient for thy welfare that thou be left sometimes without taste of spiritual sweetness and in a dry condition lest perhaps thou shouldest be puffed up with thy prosperous estate and shouldest please thy self in that which thou art not That which I have given I can take away and restore it again when I please 5. When I give it it is mine when I withdraw it I take not any thing that is thine for mine is every good and every perfect gift If I send thee affliction or any Cross whatsoever repine not nor let thy heart fail thee I can quickly succor thee and turn all thy heaviness into joy Nevertheless I am righteous and greatly to be praised when I deal thus with thee 6. If thou be wise and considerest this rightly thou wilt never mourn so dejectedly for any adversity that befalleth thee but rather rejoyce and give thanks yea account this thy only joy that afflicting thee with sorrows I do not spare thee As my Father hath loved me I also love you said I unto my beloved Disciples whom certainly I sent not out to temporal joyes but to great conflicts not to honors but to contempts not to idleness but to labors not to rest but to bring forth much fruit with patience My Son remember these words CHAP. XXXI Of the contempt of all creatures to find out the Creator CHristian Lord I stand in need of yet greater grace that I may reach to that pitch as that nor Man nor any creature may be a let unto me For as long as any thing detains me I cannot freely take my flight unto thee He desired to fly freely that said Who will give me wings like a Dove and I will fly and be at rest What thing more quiet than the single eye And what more free than he that desireth nothing upon Earth Man ought therefore to pass over all creatures and perfectly to forsake himself and to remain in excess of mind and to see that thou the Creator of all things hast nothing amongst creatures like unto thee And unless a Man be freed from the affection of all creatures he cannot with freedom of mind attend unto divine things And for this
peace I earnestly crave the peace of thy Children that are fed by thee in the light of thy comfort If thou give peace if thou pour into my heart holy joy the soul of thy Servant shall be full of gladness and shall become devout in thy praise but if thou withdraw thy self as many times thou doest he will not be able to run the ways of thy commandments but rather he will bow his knees and knock his breast for it is not now with him as it was heretofore when thy candle shined upon his Head and he was protected under the shadow of thy wings from the temptations which violently assaulted him 3. O righteous Father and ever to be praised the hour is come that thy Servant is to be tryed Behold dear Father meet it is that in this hour thy Servant suffer something for thy sake O Father evermore to be honored the hour is come which from all eternity thou didst foreknow should come that for a short time thy Servant should outwardly be oppressed but inwardly live for ever with thee that he should be a little despised humbled and made as an abject in the sight of Men and much afflicted with passions and infirmities that he may rise again with thee in the morning of the new light and be glorified in Heaven Holy Father thou hast so appointed it and wilt have it so and this is fulfilled which thy self hast commanded 4. It is a favor to thy friend that he may suffer and be afflicted in the world for love of thee how often soever and by whom soever thou permittest it to fall upon him For in the world nothing cometh to pass without thy councel without thy providence or without a cause why It is good for me Lord that thou hast afflicted me that I may learn thy righteous judgments and cast away all haughtiness of heart and presumption It is profitable to me that shame hath covered my face that I may rather seek to thee for comfort than to Men. I have learned also hereby to dread thy unsearchable judgments who afflictest the just with the wicked but not without equity and justice 5. I give thee thanks for that thou hast not spared my sins but hast worn me away with bitter stripes inflicting sorrows and sending griefs within and without There is none under Heaven that can comfort me but thou my Lord God the Heavenly Physician of souls that strikest and healest bringest down to Hell and bringest back again let thy correction be upon me and let thy rod instruct me 6. Behold dear Father I am in thy hands I bow my self under the rod of thy correction strike my back and my neck too that my crookedness may be conformed to thy will Make me an holy and humble disciple of thine as thou art wont well to do that I may be ready at every beck of thy divine pleasure I commend my self and all mine unto thee to be corrected It is better to be corrected here than hereafter Thou knowest all and every thing and there is nothing in the conscience of Man which can be hidden from thee Before things are done thou knowest that they will come to pass and hast no need that any should teach thee or admonish thee of those things which are done on Earth Thou knowest what is expedient for my profiting and how much tribulation is fit to scour off the rust of my sins Do with me according to thy desired good pleasure and disdain me not for my sinful life better and more clearly known to none than to thee alone 7. Grant me O Lord to know that which is to be known to love that which is to be loved to praise that which pleaseth thee most to esteem that which is precious unto thee to despise that which is contemptible in thy sight suffer me not to judge according to the sight of the outward eyes nor to give sentence according to the hearing of the ears of ignorant Men but to discern of visible and spiritual things with a true judgement and above all things ever to search after thy good will and pleasure 8. The minds of Men are often deceived in their judging the lovers of the world are also deceived in loving only visible things What is a Man the better for that he is esteemed great by Man The deceitful in exalting the deceitful the vain Man in Extolling the vain the blind in commending the blind the weak in magnifying the weak deceiveth him and doth verily more shame him while he doth vainly praise him For how much every one is in thy sight so much he is and no more CHAP. LI. That a Man ought to imploy himself in works of humility when strength is wanting for higher imployments CHrist. Son thou art not able always to continue in the more fervent desire of virtue nor to persist in the higher pitch of contemplation but thou must sometimes of necessity by reason of original corruption descend to inferior things and bear the burden of this corruptible life though against thy will and with grief As long as thou carriest a mortal body thou shalt feel trouble and heaviness of heart Thou oughtest therefore in the flesh oftentimes to bewail the burden of the flesh for that thou canst not always continue in spiritual exercises and divine contemplation 2. It is then expedient for thee to flie to humble and exterior works and to refresh thy self with good actions to expect with a firm confidence my coming and Heavenly visitation to bear patiently thy banishment and the dryness of thy mind till I visit thee again and deliver thee from all anxieties For I will make thee forget thy former pains and enjoy inward quietness I will lay open before thee the pleasant fields of Holy Scripture that with an enlarged heart thou mayest begin to run the way of my commandments And thou shalt say That the sufferings of this present time are not worthy of the glory to come that shall be revealed in us CHAP. LII That a Man ought to esteem himself not worthy of comfort but rather to deserve stripes CHristian Lord I am not worthy of thy comfort nor of any spiritual visitation and therefore thou dealest justly with me when thou leavest me poor and desolate For though I could shed a Sea of tears yet I were not worthy of thy comfort For alas I deserve nothing but to be scourged and punished in that I have grievously and often offended thee and have sinned greatly in many things All things therefore duly considered I am not worthy even of the least comfort But thou O gracious and merciful God who wilt not that thy works should perish to shew the riches of thy goodness upon the vessels of mercy even beyond his desert vouchsafest to comfort thy Servant above the manner of Men. For thy comforts are not like to the words of Men. 2. What have I done O Lord that thou shouldest bestow any Heavenly comfort upon me I
most precious body of Christ 8. O God the invisible Creator of the world how wonderfully dost thou deal with us how sweetly and graciously dost thou dispose of all things with thine elect to whom thou offerest thy self to be received in the Sacrament O this exceedeth all understanding This chiefly draweth the hearts of the religious and inflameth their affections For thy true faithful Servants that dispose their whole life to amendment by this most precious Sacrament oftentimes gain much of the grace of devotion and love of holiness 9. O the admirable and hidden grace of this Sacrament which only the faithful ones of Christ do know but the unbelieving and such as are slaves unto sin cannot have experience thereof In this Sacrament spiritual grace is given and strength which was lost is restored in the soul and the beauty disfigured by sin returneth again This grace is sometimes so great that out of the fulness of devotion which is here given not only the mind but the weak body also feeleth great increase of strength 10. Our coldness and negligence surely is much to be wailed and pittied that we are not drawn with greater affection to receive Christ in whom all the hope and merit of those that are to be saved doth consist For he is our sanctification and redemption he is the comfort of those who are here but travellers and the everlasting fruition of Saints It is much therefore to be lamented that many do so little consider this comfortable mystery which rejoyceth Heaven and preserveth the whole world O the blindness and hardness of Mans heart that doth not more deeply weigh so unspeakable a gift but rather cometh by the daily use thereof to regard it little or nothing 11. For if this most holy Sacrament should be celebrated in one place only and consecrated by one only Minister in the world with how great desires dost thou think would Men be affected to that place and to such a Minister that they might enjoy the celebration of these divine mysteries But now there are many Ministers and Christ is offered in many places that so the grace and love of God to Man may appear so much the greater how much the more this sacred Communion is spread through the world Thanks be unto thee good Jesus the everlasting shepherd that hast vouchsafed to refresh us who are poor and in a state of banishment with thy precious body and blood and to invite us to the receiving of these mysteries with the words of thy own mouth saying Come unto me all ye that labor and are burdened and I will refresh you CHAP. II. That the great goodness and love of God is exhibited to Man in this Sacrament The voice of the Disciple IN confidence of thy goodness and great mercy O Lord being sick I approach unto my Savior being hungry and thirsty to the Fountain of life needy to the King of Heaven a Servant unto my Lord a creature to my Creator being disconsolate I come to thee my merciful comforter But whence is this to me that thou vouch-safest to come unto me Who am I that thou shouldest give thy self unto me How dare a sinner appear before thee And how is it that thou dost vouchsafe to come unto a sinner Thou knowest thy Servant and seest that he hath no good thing in him for which thou shouldest bestow this favor upon him I confess therefore my unworthiness and I acknowledg thy goodness I praise thy mercy and give thee thanks for this thy transcendent love For thou dost this for thine own sake not for any merits of mine to the end that thy goodness may be better known unto me thy love more abundantly shewed and thy gracious condescension may be the more eminently set forth Since therefore it is thy pleasure and thou hast commanded that it should be so this thy favor is also dearly pleasing to me and I wish that my sins may be no hindrance herein 2. O most sweet and benign Jesus how great reverence and thanks together with perpetual praise is due unto thee for the receiving of thy sacred body whose preciousness no Man is able to express But what shall I think of at this Communion now that I am to approach unto my Lord whom I am not able duly to honor and yet I desire to receive him with devotion What can I think better and more profitable than to humble my self wholly before thee and to exalt thy infinite goodness above me I praise thee my God and will exalt thee for ever and I do despise and submit my self unto thee in a deep sense of my own unworthiness 3. Behold thou art the Holy of Holies and I the skum of sinners Behold thou inclinest unto me who am not worthy so much as to look up unto thee Behold thou comest unto me It is thy will to be with me thou invitest me to thy banquet Thou wilt give me the food of Heaven and bread of Angels to eat which is no other indeed than thy self the living bread that descendest from Heaven and givest life unto the world world 4. Behold from whence doth this love proceed What a gracious condescension of thine appeareth herein How great thanks and praises are due unto thee for these benefits O how good and profitable was thy councel when thou ordainedst it How sweet and pleasant the banquet when thou gavest thy self to be our food How wonderful is this thy doing O Lord how mighty is thy power how unspeakable is thy truth For thou sayest the word and all things were made and this was done which thou commandest 5. A thing of great admiration that thou my Lord God true God and Man shouldest be exhibited unto us by the Elements of Bread and Wine Thou who art the Lord of all things and standest in need of none had pleased to dwell in us by means of this thy Sacrament preserve my heart and body unspotted that with a chearful and pure conscience I may often celebrate thy mysteries and receive them to my everlasting health which thou hast chiefly ordained and instituted for thy honor and for a perpetual memorial 6. Rejoyce O my soul and give thanks unto God for so noble a gift and so singular a comfort left unto thee in this vale of tears For as often as thou callest to mind this mystery and receivest the body of Christ so often dost thou remember the work of thy redemption and art made partaker of all the merits of Christ. For the love of Christ is never diminished and the greatness of his propitiation is never exhausted Therefore thou oughtest always to dispose thy self hereunto by a fresh renewing of thy mind and to weigh with attentive consideration this great mystery of thy salvation So great new and joyful it ought to seem unto thee when thou comest to these holy mysteries as if the same day Christ first descending into the womb of the Virgin were become Man or hanging on the