Selected quad for the lemma: lord_n

Word A	Word B	Word C	Word D	Occurrence	Frequency Band	MI	MI Band	Prominent
lord_n	bless_v	let_v	praise_v	13,035	5	9.8164	5	false

Text snippets containing the quad

ID	Title	Author	Corrected Date of Publication (TCP Date of Publication)	STC	Words	Pages
A64409	The flaming hart, or, The life of the gloriovs S. Teresa foundresse of the reformation, of the order of the all-immaculate Virgin-Mother, our B. Lady, of Mount Carmel : this history of her life, was written by the Saint herself, in Spanish, and is newly, now, translated into English ...; Vida de Santa Teresa de Jesus. English. 1642	Teresa, of Avila, Saint, 1515-1582.; Matthew, Tobie, Sir, 1577-1655.	1642 (1642)	Wing T753; ESTC R33913	394,344	744

high_a prayer_n by_o use_v so_o continual_a mortification_n &_o final_o through_o such_o a_o incomparable_a treasure_n as_o she_o acquire_v afterward_o by_o a_o multitude_n of_o most_o excellent_a work_n for_o if_o her_o beginning_n be_v such_o as_o outstripped_n even_o the_o conclusion_n of_o very_a perfect_a soul_n how_o far_o shall_v we_o imagine_v that_o she_o will_v be_v sure_a to_o arrive_v and_o reach_v ere_o she_o come_v to_o a_o end_n these_o be_v the_o lively_a testimony_n of_o this_o last_o exact_a and_o diligent_a author_n and_o as_o for_o that_o former_a excellent_a discourse_n of_o doctor_n lewis_n de_fw-fr leon_n it_o serve_v also_o to_o let_v we_o see_v very_o clear_o the_o perfection_n of_o her_o happy_a child_n the_o religious_a woman_n of_o her_o order_n and_o since_o even_o the_o christian_a world_n at_o large_a be_v wont_a to_o call_v &_o know_v she_o by_o the_o name_n of_o mother_n teresa_n how_o much_o more_o have_v the_o religious_a her_o dear_a &_o most_o dear_a daughter_n reason_n to_o call_v she_o so_o as_o they_o do_v since_o together_o with_o the_o strictness_n of_o their_o rule_n a_o strictness_n yet_o much_o more_o tend_v to_o the_o preserve_n &_o purify_n their_o mind_n then_o any_o way_n to_o the_o afflict_v of_o their_o body_n whatsoever_o the_o devil_n will_v fain_o make_v the_o world_n believe_v so_o to_o discourage_v the_o servant_n of_o god_n from_o become_v his_o better_a servant_n by_o live_v under_o this_o most_o holy_a and_o happy_a rule_n there_o be_v ever_o so_o great_a indulgence_n in_o she_o towards_o they_o and_o such_o a_o tender_a kind_n of_o care_n over_o the_o health_n and_o contentment_n yea_o and_o even_o as_o it_o be_v for_o the_o good_a humour_n of_o her_o child_n as_o that_o she_o may_v well_o deserve_v the_o name_n of_o a_o hundred_o thousand_o mother_n all_o in_o one_o for_o that_o her_o very_a kindness_n arrive_v even_o thus_o far_o may_v be_v see_v in_o many_o passage_n both_o of_o her_o rule_n &_o of_o her_o life_n so_o that_o upon_o the_o whole_a matter_n it_o be_v a_o kind_n of_o hard_a case_n to_o decide_v whether_o she_o be_v of_o more_o rigour_n to_o herself_o or_o of_o more_o indulgence_n towards_o her_o child_n and_o she_o do_v express_o require_v that_o her_o successor_n shall_v be_v always_o careful_a to_o maintain_v the_o very_a self_n same_o sweet_a and_o even_o as_o it_o be_v kinde-harted_n spirit_n in_o the_o government_n of_o all_o such_o soul_n as_o shall_v ever_o come_v to_o range_v themselves_o by_o her_o order_n and_o it_o seem_v that_o not_o only_o her_o counsel_n be_v impart_v to_o they_o then_o but_o that_o her_o prayer_n &_o protection_n continue_v now_o to_o the_o self_n same_o purpose_n and_o that_o still_o she_o shroud_n and_o shelter_n they_o under_o that_o care_n for_o the_o selfsame_a spirit_n remain_v so_o entire_o true_o among_o they_o at_o this_o day_n that_o as_o they_o lead_v the_o life_n of_o angel_n on_o the_o one_o side_n so_o yet_o do_v they_o also_o on_o the_o other_o spend_v their_o time_n with_o so_o much_o joy_n &_o gust_n through_o that_o incredible_a kind_n of_o peace_n &_o union_n of_o mind_n which_o they_o possess_v as_o well_o in_o order_n to_o their_o superior_n as_o to_o themselves_o as_o if_o every_o one_o of_o they_o be_v no_o less_o then_o mighty_o even_o in_o love_n with_o every_o other_o which_o put_v they_o into_o a_o kind_n of_o heaven_n before_o their_o time_n nay_o still_o she_o seem_v as_o it_o be_v visible_o to_o work_v in_o all_o kind_n for_o their_o advantage_n and_o here_o since_o this_o holy_a saint_n take_v all_o the_o accident_n and_o occasion_n not_o only_o of_o her_o child_n but_o even_o of_o those_o stranger_n so_o extreme_o and_o extraordinary_o to_o hart_n who_o apply_v themselves_o to_o obtain_v her_o help_n whilst_o she_o be_v yet_o but_o a_o inhabitant_n of_o this_o world_n i_o be_o confident_o yea_o and_o assure_o persuade_v that_o she_o will_v now_o have_v another_o manner_n of_o solicitude_n for_o their_o good_a and_o growth_n in_o all_o happiness_n who_o shall_v celebrate_v and_o desire_v to_o serve_v she_o which_o i_o wish_v that_o the_o whole_a world_n may_v do_v and_o for_o my_o part_n i_o be_o so_o much_o bind_v to_o our_o bless_a lord_n for_o which_o i_o adore_v he_o with_o my_o whole_a hart_n as_o to_o be_v sure_a that_o i_o will_v procure_v to_o make_v one_o the_o short_a preface_n or_o introduction_n which_o be_v make_v by_o the_o glorious_a s._n teresa_n herself_o to_o this_o life_n of_o she_o which_o she_o write_v i_o can_v have_v wish_v that_o as_o they_o have_v give_v i_o a_o large_a kind_n of_o liberty_n yea_o and_o a_o commandment_n also_o to_o setdowne_v both_o the_o manner_n of_o my_o prayer_n and_o the_o favour_n which_o our_o bless_a lord_n be_v please_v to_o do_v i_o they_o have_v also_o no_o less_o permit_v i_o to_o declare_v my_o great_a sin_n and_o wicked_a life_n in_o very_o particular_a and_o clear_a manner_n for_o herein_o i_o shall_v have_v receive_v much_o consolation_n but_o this_o they_o will_v not_o suffer_v i_o to_o do_v nay_o rather_o in_o this_o kind_n they_o tie_v i_o up_o very_o short_a and_o therefore_o i_o beg_v earnest_o even_o for_o the_o love_n of_o our_o bless_a lord_n that_o they_o who_o shall_v read_v this_o discourse_n of_o my_o life_n will_v take_v knowledge_n and_o attentive_o observe_v that_o it_o have_v be_v so_o very_o unworthy_a and_o wicked_a as_o that_o i_o have_v not_o find_v any_o one_o saint_n among_o all_o they_o who_o have_v be_v convert_v from_o sin_n to_o the_o service_n of_o almighty_a god_n in_o who_o example_n i_o may_v be_v able_a to_o take_v comfort_n for_o i_o consider_v that_o when_o once_o our_o lord_n call_v they_o to_o himself_o they_o return_v not_o any_o more_o to_o offend_v he_o whereas_o i_o not_o only_o grow_v worse_o but_o rather_o do_v it_o seem_v even_o make_v it_o my_o very_a business_n and_o study_v how_o to_o resist_v those_o great_a favour_n which_o his_o divine_a majesty_n be_v please_v to_o do_v i_o as_o one_o who_o on_o the_o one_o side_n find_v herself_o oblige_v to_o serve_v he_o for_o they_o so_o much_o the_o more_o and_o yet_o who_o on_o the_o other_o observe_v withal_o that_o she_o be_v unable_a to_o make_v he_o any_o payment_n for_o the_o least_o part_n of_o all_o that_o which_o she_o owe_v he_o let_v he_o be_v bless_v for_o ever_o who_o vouchsafe_v to_o expect_v i_o so_o long_o and_o i_o beseech_v he_o with_o my_o whole_a hart_n to_o give_v i_o grace_n that_o i_o may_v with_o all_o claritie_n and_o truth_n make_v this_o relation_n which_o my_o ghostly_a father_n have_v command_v at_o my_o hand_n yea_o and_o which_o i_o know_v our_o lord_n himself_o have_v long_o expect_v from_o i_o save_v that_o yet_o withal_o i_o can_v not_o easy_o presume_v so_o far_o as_o to_o venture_v upon_o it_o but_o at_o least_o i_o wish_v that_o now_o it_o may_v prove_v to_o the_o glory_n and_o praise_n of_o his_o divine_a majesty_n as_o also_o to_o the_o end_n that_o my_o say_a ghostly_a father_n grow_v hereafter_o into_o a_o clear_a knowledge_n of_o i_o by_o this_o mean_n may_v assist_v i_o in_o my_o weakness_n so_o much_o the_o more_o that_o so_o at_o length_n i_o may_v be_v able_a to_o pay_v some_o little_a part_n of_o that_o much_o service_n which_o i_o owe_v to_o our_o bless_a lord_n who_o let_v all_o creature_n praise_v for_o all_o eternity_n amen_o the_o first_o chapter_n she_o show_v haw_v our_o lord_n begin_v to_o stirre-up_a her_o soul_n in_o her_o childhood_n to_o the_o perform_n of_o virtuous_a action_n and_o of_o the_o help_n which_o it_o give_v in_o order_n to_o this_o end_n to_o be_v bear_v of_o virtuous_a parent_n the_o very_a have_v of_o virtuous_a parent_n and_o such_o as_o live_v in_o the_o fear_n of_o almighty_a god_n together_o with_o those_o favour_n which_o i_o receive_v from_o his_o divine_a majesty_n have_v be_v able_a to_o have_v make_v i_o good_a if_o i_o have_v not_o be_v so_o very_o wicked_a my_o father_n be_v delight_v in_o read_v good_a book_n and_o use_v to_o have_v they_o in_o spanish_a that_o so_o his_o child_n may_v also_o read_v they_o this_o consideration_n together_o with_o the_o care_n which_o my_o mother_n have_v to_o make_v we_o say_v our_o prayer_n and_o to_o put_v we_o into_o a_o way_n of_o devotion_n to_o our_o bless_a lady_n and_o some_o other_o particular_a saint_n begin_v to_o awake_v and_o stir_v i_o up_o when_o i_o be_v to_o the_o best_a of_o my_o remembrance_n about_o six_o or_o seven_o year_n old_a it_o assist_v i_o also_o towards_o this_o good_a end_n to_o find_v that_o there_o be_v no_o mean_n for_o i_o to_o win_v the_o favour_n of_o

thing_n for_o by_o mean_n of_o such_o blessing_n as_o these_o do_v our_o lord_n impart_v that_o fortitude_n to_o we_o which_o we_o lose_v by_o our_o sin_n and_o he_o shall_v but_o unlucky_o desire_v and_o exhort_v a_o man_n to_o despise_v and_o abhor_v the_o world_n and_o encourage_v he_o to_o acquire_v all_o those_o great_a virtue_n which_o christian_n of_o high_a perfection_n use_v to_o possess_v if_o he_o be_v not_o uphold_v therein_o by_o a_o livelie_a faith_n and_o by_o his_o have_v also_o feel_v some_o assurance_n of_o the_o love_n which_o our_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o bear_v he_o for_o natural_o we_o be_v so_o very_o dead_a that_o we_o look_v not_o after_o any_o thing_n but_o that_o which_o we_o see_v at_o the_o present_a and_o so_o these_o very_a favour_n be_v the_o thing_n which_o awake_v &_o strengthen_v our_o faith_n i_o say_v not_o but_o that_o it_o may_v very_o well_o be_v that_o i_o be_v so_o very_o wicked_a be_o apt_a to_o judge_v of_o other_o by_o myself_o &_o that_o those_o other_o may_v need_v no_o more_o than_o the_o very_a light_n and_o truth_n of_o faith_n for_o the_o make_v their_o work_n very_o perfect_a but_o i_o as_o very_o miserable_a have_v beme_fw-mi in_o need_n of_o all_o possible_a help_n other_o may_v well_o say_v what_o they_o please_v but_o i_o relate_v what_o have_v occur_v to_o i_o as_o they_o who_o have_v power_n over_o i_o command_n and_o if_o he_o to_o who_o i_o send_v it_o do_v not_o like_v it_o he_o may_v tear_v it_o as_o know_v better_o than_o i_o what_o be_v unfit_a who_o i_o humble_o beseech_v even_o for_o the_o love_n of_o our_o bless_a lord_n that_o whatsoever_o i_o have_v say_v hitherto_o concern_v my_o wicked_a life_n and_o my_o sin_n he_o will_v publish_v it_o and_o from_o this_o instant_n i_o give_v leave_n both_o to_o he_o and_o all_o they_o who_o have_v be_v my_o ghostly_a father_n of_o which_o number_n he_o be_v to_o who_o this_o go_v address_v that_o they_o do_v it_o even_o now_o whilst_o i_o be_o live_v to_o the_o end_n that_o even_o now_o i_o may_v deceive_v the_o world_n no_o long_o which_o else_o perhaps_o may_v think_v that_o there_o be_v some_o good_a thing_n in_o i_o and_o real_o and_o very_o real_o i_o speak_v truth_n to_o the_o best_a that_o i_o can_v now_o understand_v of_o myself_o that_o he_o shall_v give_v i_o great_a comfort_n if_o he_o will_v do_v it_o but_o as_o for_o that_o which_o shall_v follow_v hereafter_o in_o this_o discourse_n i_o allow_v he_o no_o such_o liberty_n at_o all_o nor_o will_v i_o by_o any_o mean_n give_v way_n that_o if_o they_o chance_v to_o show_v the_o thing_n to_o any_o creature_n they_o declare_v who_o that_o person_n be_v with_o who_o it_o pass_v nor_o who_o write_v it_o and_o for_o this_o reason_n have_v i_o forbear_v to_o name_n either_o myself_o or_o any_o other_o who_o have_v interuen_v to_o the_o story_n but_o i_o have_v do_v the_o best_a i_o can_v to_o write_v it_o so_o as_o that_o i_o may_v not_o be_v know_v and_o i_o desire_v for_o the_o love_n of_o our_o lord_n that_o it_o may_v ever_o remain_v as_o a_o secret_n for_o it_o will_v suffice_v that_o there_o be_v so_o learned_a and_o grave_a person_n as_o may_v authorise_v any_o thing_n which_o be_v good_a if_o our_o lord_n will_v give_v i_o grace_n to_o relate_v it_o and_o if_o there_o be_v it_o must_v be_v he_o and_o not_o i_o for_o they_o only_o who_o command_v i_o to_o write_v it_o know_v that_o i_o write_v it_o and_o at_o the_o present_a they_o be_v not_o here_o and_o i_o write_v it_o also_o as_o it_o be_v by_o stealth_n and_o with_o want_n of_o time_n and_o with_o some_o trouble_n because_o i_o be_o keep_v from_o spin_v and_o i_o live_v in_o a_o poor_a house_n and_o have_v business_n enough_o and_o if_o our_o lord_n give_v i_o more_o ability_n and_o memory_n of_o both_o which_o i_o have_v very_o little_a i_o may_v yet_o by_o mean_n thereof_o serve_v myself_o of_o what_o i_o have_v hear_v or_o read_v so_o that_o if_o i_o say_v any_o thing_n which_o be_v good_a our_o lord_n will_v serve_v himself_o of_o it_o for_o some_o good_a end_n but_o whatsoever_o be_v ill_o say_v will_v be_v my_o own_o and_o that_o your_o reverence_n may_v blot_v out_o and_o both_o for_o the_o one_o and_o for_o the_o other_o there_o will_v be_v no_o reason_n at_o all_o to_o declare_v my_o name_n during_o any_o body_n life_n it_o be_v clear_a that_o the_o good_a he_o do_v be_v not_o to_o be_v relate_v and_o after_o death_n it_o will_v also_o serve_v for_o nothing_o in_o this_o case_n but_o only_o to_o make_v it_o loose_v all_o authority_n and_o credit_n for_o have_v be_v recount_v by_o a_o person_n so_o base_a and_o so_o wicked_a as_o myself_o and_o because_o i_o hope_v you_o will_v do_v that_o which_o i_o say_v and_o i_o humble_o beg_v it_o of_o you_o even_o for_o the_o love_n of_o our_o lord_n and_o of_o those_o other_o also_o who_o be_v to_o see_v it_o i_o write_v as_o you_o see_v with_o all_o liberty_n and_o clearness_n for_o otherwise_o i_o shall_v have_v great_a scruple_n to_o do_v it_o but_o only_o for_o the_o mere_a declaration_n of_o my_o sin_n and_o in_o that_o i_o have_v none_o at_o all_o as_o for_o other_o thing_n it_o be_v enough_o that_o i_o be_o a_o woman_n to_o make_v my_o wing_n fall_v down_o flat_a by_o my_o side_n and_o how_o much_o more_o then_o since_o i_o be_o not_o only_o a_o weoman_n but_o a_o wicked_a woman_n and_o therefore_o whatsoever_o your_o reverence_n shall_v find_v here_o beyond_o the_o bare_a relation_n of_o the_o course_n of_o my_o life_n you_o must_v take_v to_o be_v only_o for_o yourself_o since_o you_o will_v needs_o importune_v i_o so_o far_o as_o to_o make_v you_o some_o declaration_n of_o the_o favour_n which_o our_o lord_n have_v be_v please_v to_o do_v i_o in_o prayer_n suppose_v ever_o that_o you_o hold_v they_o to_o be_v in_o conformity_n with_o the_o truth_n of_o our_o holy_a catholic_n faith_n for_o if_o not_o you_o be_v instant_o to_o burn_v it_o and_o to_o this_o direction_n i_o will_v stand_v so_o that_o i_o will_v declare_v what_o pass_v with_o i_o in_o this_o kind_n to_o the_o end_n that_o if_o it_o shall_v prove_v conform_a to_o catholic_n truth_n it_o may_v be_v of_o some_o service_n to_o you_o and_o if_o not_o that_o you_o may_v be_v the_o better_a able_a to_o undeceave_v my_o soul_n and_o so_o the_o devil_n may_v get_v nothing_o by_o that_o whereby_o i_o take_v myself_o to_o gain_v for_o our_o lord_n know_v that_o i_o ever_o have_v procure_v to_o meet_v with_o person_n who_o may_v give_v i_o light_n as_o i_o shall_v show_v afterward_o but_o how_o clear_o soever_o i_o shall_v strive_v to_o declare_v these_o thing_n concern_v prayer_n it_o will_v fall_v out_o to_o be_v obscure_a enough_o for_o such_o as_o have_v no_o experience_n therein_o i_o will_v touch_v also_o upon_o some_o impediment_n which_o according_a to_o my_o way_n of_o understanding_n use_v to_o oppose_v themselves_o against_o such_o person_n as_o be_v walk_v on_o in_o this_o way_n and_o i_o will_v also_o point_v at_o some_o other_o in_o which_o there_o may_v be_v some_o danger_n according_a to_o what_o our_o lord_n have_v teach_v i_o by_o experience_n and_o i_o have_v since_o treat_v with_o great_a learned_a man_n and_o person_n who_o have_v give_v themselves_o to_o spirit_n many_o year_n and_o they_o see_v that_o his_o divine_a majesty_n have_v vouchsafe_v i_o in_o seven_o and_o twenty_o year_n wherein_o i_o have_v use_v mental_a prayer_n though_o i_o have_v walk_v on_o so_o ill_o &_o with_o so_o many_o stumble_a block_n in_o the_o way_n that_o experience_n which_o he_o have_v not_o allow_v to_o other_o in_o seven_o and_o thirty_o yea_o and_o in_o seven_o and_o forty_o year_n whilst_o yet_o they_o have_v spend_v their_o life_n in_o penance_n and_o ever_o in_o a_o course_n of_o virtue_n let_v he_o be_v bless_v for_o all_o and_o i_o be_v seech_v his_o divine_a majesty_n even_o by_o what_o he_o be_v himself_o that_o he_o will_v vouchsafe_v to_o be_v serve_v by_o i_o for_o my_o dear_a lord_n know_v very_o well_o that_o i_o pretend_v no_o other_o thing_n by_o this_o but_o only_o that_o he_o may_v be_v a_o little_a the_o more_o exalt_v and_o praise_v when_o you_o see_v that_o he_o will_v needs_o plant_v a_o garden_n of_o so_o sweet_a flower_n upon_o and_o in_o a_o dunghill_n so_o foul_a and_o filthy_a and_o of_o so_o very_o ill_a favour_n as_o i_o be_o i_o humble_o beseech_v his_o divine_a majesty_n that_o i_o return_v not_o through_o my_o fault_n to_o pluck_v they_o all_o up_o by_o the_o root_n and_o so_o become_v again_o

but_o as_o for_o beginner_n learned_a man_n if_o they_o possess_v not_o the_o use_n of_o prayer_n can_v be_v of_o little_a profit_n to_o they_o yet_o i_o say_v not_o that_o they_o shall_v not_o treat_v and_o confer_v with_o such_o man_n as_o be_v learned_a for_o as_o for_o have_v a_o spirit_n which_o shall_v not_o be_v first_o settle_v in_o a_o way_n of_o truth_n for_o my_o part_n i_o have_v rather_o have_v it_o without_o prayer_n for_o learning_n be_v a_o great_a matter_n since_o it_o instruct_v we_o who_o know_v little_a and_o bring_v we_o light_a and_o when_o we_o approach_v near_o to_o the_o truth_n of_o holy_a scripture_n we_o begin_v to_o do_v that_o which_o we_o ought_v but_o as_o for_o silly_a and_o foolish_a devotion_n our_o lord_n deliver_v we_o from_o they_o i_o will_v declare_v myself_o yet_o better_a for_o i_o fear_v i_o put_v myself_o upon_o too_o many_o thing_n at_o once_o though_o i_o ever_o want_v mean_n to_o know_v how_o to_o give_v myself_o to_o be_v well_o understand_v as_o i_o have_v say_v but_o upon_o the_o expense_n of_o many_o word_n a_o religious_a woman_n for_o example_n sake_n will_v begin_v to_o use_v prayer_n and_o in_o case_n some_o silly_a kind_n of_o man_n direct_v and_o govern_v she_o he_o will_v if_o the_o toy_n take_v he_o in_o the_o head_n give_v she_o to_o understand_v that_o it_o be_v better_a for_o she_o to_o obey_v he_o than_o her_o superior_a yea_o and_o he_o will_v do_v it_o without_o any_o malice_n at_o all_o as_o conceave_a that_o he_o be_v in_o the_o right_n and_o now_o she_o be_v a_o religious_a woman_n will_v be_v likely_a enough_o to_o think_v that_o he_o say_v true_a and_o if_o she_o be_v a_o marry_a woman_n he_o will_v tell_v she_o that_o it_o be_v best_o for_o she_o even_o when_o she_o ought_v to_o be_v about_o her_o household_n business_n to_o exercise_v herself_o in_o prayer_n though_o it_o be_v to_o be_v to_o the_o disgust_n of_o her_o husband_n so_o that_o she_o know_v not_o how_o to_o dispose_v of_o her_o time_n nor_o of_o her_o business_n in_o such_o sort_n as_o that_o all_o may_v go_v according_a to_o reason_n and_o truth_n because_o in_o fine_a that_o directour_n want_v light_a and_o not_o have_v any_o himself_o he_o can_v give_v it_o to_o other_o though_o he_o will_v never_o so_o fain_o and_o though_o in_o order_n to_o this_o end_n it_o seem_v that_o there_o be_v no_o great_a need_n of_o learning_n yet_o as_o for_o i_o my_o opinion_n both_o be_v and_o ever_o will_v be_v that_o all_o christian_n shall_v do_v well_o to_o treat_v with_o such_o man_n about_o their_o soul_n as_o be_v well_o learned_a and_o so_o much_o the_o more_o so_o much_o the_o better_o and_o they_o who_o go_v by_o the_o way_n of_o prayer_n have_v yet_o more_o need_n than_o other_o to_o meet_v with_o such_o man_n and_o so_o the_o more_o they_o shall_v be_v also_o spiritual_a the_o better_a will_v it_o be_v for_o they_o still_o and_o let_v not_o folk_n deceive_v themselves_o with_o say_v that_o learned_a man_n without_o the_o exercise_n of_o prayer_n be_v not_o to_o the_o purpose_n for_o they_o who_o use_v prayer_n for_o i_o have_v deal_v with_o many_o and_o for_o some_o of_o these_o latter_a year_n i_o have_v endeavour_v it_o the_o more_o because_o then_o i_o find_v myself_o in_o more_o necessity_n but_o i_o be_v ever_o much_o a_o friend_n of_o learned_a man_n for_o though_o some_o of_o they_o have_v not_o experience_n yet_o they_o hate_v not_o spiritual_a people_n nor_o be_v not_o ignorant_a what_o these_o thing_n mean_v because_o they_o ever_o find_v this_o truth_n that_o there_o be_v such_o a_o thing_n as_o a_o good_a spirit_n by_o holy_a scripture_n wherein_o they_o be_v continual_o verse_v and_o as_o for_o i_o i_o hold_v that_o a_o person_n who_o exercise_n prayer_n and_o will_v treat_v with_o learned_a man_n shall_v never_o be_v deceive_v by_o illusion_n of_o the_o devil_n if_o he_o have_v not_o a_o mind_n to_o deceive_v himself_o for_o i_o believe_v that_o the_o devil_n be_v mighty_o afraid_a of_o learning_n whensoever_o it_o be_v accompany_v with_o humility_n and_o virtue_n for_o he_o know_v that_o he_o shall_v be_v discover_v in_o the_o end_n and_o that_o so_o he_o shall_v come_v to_o loose_v by_o the_o bargain_n and_o now_o i_o have_v say_v thus_o much_o because_o i_o know_v there_o be_v opinion_n that_o learned_a man_n be_v not_o fit_a for_o person_n of_o prayer_n unless_o they_o be_v also_o of_o spirit_n already_o i_o have_v signify_v that_o it_o will_v be_v necessary_a to_o have_v a_o spiritual_a director_n but_o if_o he_o prove_v not_o to_o be_v learn_v the_o inconvenience_n will_v be_v great_a &_o yet_o it_o will_v be_v of_o much_o help_n to_o treat_v with_o learned_a man_n so_o that_o they_o be_v virtuous_a for_o though_o they_o be_v not_o spiritual_a as_o in_o this_o case_n we_o understand_v spiritual_a they_o will_v yet_o be_v able_a to_o benefit_v we_o and_o god_n will_v vouchsafe_v to_o enable_v they_o to_o teach_v we_o yea_o and_o so_o may_v perhaps_o by_o degree_n grow_v even_o to_o make_v they_o also_o become_v spiritual_a to_o the_o end_n that_o they_o may_v be_v able_a to_o instruct_v we_o the_o better_a and_o i_o speak_v not_o this_o without_o some_o trial_n for_o the_o occasion_n have_v happen_v to_o i_o with_o more_o then_z two_o i_o say_v therefore_o that_o if_o a_o soul_n resolve_v to_o render_v itself_o to_o be_v entire_o subject_a to_o the_o order_n of_o any_o one_o director_n she_o shall_v err_v very_o much_o unless_o she_o procure_v in_o particular_a manner_n that_o he_o be_v learned_a especial_o if_o he_o be_v a_o religious_a man_n of_o any_o order_n because_o such_o a_o one_o be_v to_o be_v subject_a to_o his_o prelate_n or_o superior_a and_o in_o that_o case_n peradventure_o all_o those_o three_o aforesaid_a part_n which_o be_v say_v to_o be_v so_o necessary_a for_o a_o director_n will_v be_v want_v to_o he_o which_o will_v be_v no_o little_a cross_n to_o the_o party_n beside_o that_o he_o may_v perhaps_o find_v himself_o to_o have_v voluntary_o submit_v his_o understanding_n to_o that_o of_o another_o man_n who_o have_v no_o very_a good_a one_o himself_o at_o least_o forasmuch_o as_o concern_v i_o i_o be_v never_o able_a to_o bring_v myself_o to_o it_o nor_o indeed_o do_v i_o hold_v it_o convenient_a but_o now_o if_o the_o party_n of_o who_o we_o speak_v be_v a_o secular_a person_n let_v he_o bless_v almighty_a god_n that_o himself_o may_v make_v choice_n of_o that_o man_n to_o who_o he_o will_v resolve_v to_o subject_v himself_o and_o let_v he_o take_v care_n not_o to_o loose_v this_o virtuous_a liberty_n nay_o let_v he_o even_o stay_v without_o any_o director_n at_o all_o till_o he_o find_v a_o fit_a one_o for_o our_o lord_n will_v not_o fail_v to_o provide_v he_o such_o a_o one_o if_o he_o go_v whole_o ground_v in_o humility_n and_o with_o desire_n to_o make_v a_o fit_a choice_n for_o my_o part_n i_o praise_v a_o fit_a director_n very_o much_o and_o woman_n and_o such_o man_n also_o as_o be_v not_o learned_a be_v always_o to_o give_v god_n infinite_a thanks_n for_o that_o there_o be_v some_o in_o the_o world_n who_o take_v so_o great_a pain_n and_o trouble_v to_o obtain_v the_o knowledge_n of_o truth_n whereof_o such_o as_o be_v not_o learned_a be_v ignorant_a and_o it_o amaze_v i_o many_o time_n to_o see_v religious_a man_n who_o be_v learn_v and_o particular_o to_o consider_v with_o how_o much_o trouble_n they_o grow_v to_o gain_v all_o that_o knowledge_n which_o be_v to_o bring_v i_o so_o much_o profit_n without_o any_o more_o trouble_n of_o i_o then_o only_o to_o ask_v they_o the_o question_n and_o yet_o that_o we_o shall_v not_o benefit_v ourselves_o by_o it_o but_o let_v not_o god_n permit_v that_o still_o it_o shall_v continue_v to_o be_v so_o for_o i_o see_v they_o subject_n to_o the_o trouble_n and_o mortification_n of_o a_o religious_a life_n which_o be_v very_o great_a with_o pennance_n with_o ill_a diet_n with_o hard_a lodging_n with_o be_v subject_n in_o all_o thing_n to_o obedience_n and_o in_o fine_a i_o so_o perceive_v that_o all_o be_v affliction_n and_o all_o cross_n that_o real_o the_o thought_n thereof_o do_v cast_v i_o sometime_o into_o confusion_n and_o i_o think_v it_o must_v be_v a_o great_a misery_n that_o any_o body_n shall_v loose_v so_o important_a a_o benefit_n by_o his_o own_o fault_n it_o be_v possible_a that_o some_o of_o we_o who_o be_v free_a from_o these_o austerity_n whereof_o i_o speak_v or_o at_o least_o if_o we_o feed_v upon_o they_o we_o will_v needs_o have_v they_o fine_o dress_v after_o our_o own_o fancy_n and_o so_o will_v live_v as_o we_o list_v ourselves_o conceive_v that_o

a_o sweet_a repose_n or_o sleep_v of_o all_o the_o power_n which_o be_v yet_o neither_o total_o lose_v nor_o yet_o do_v they_o know_v how_o they_o work_v this_o gust_n and_o delight_n and_o suavitie_n be_v great_a beyond_o all_o comparison_n than_o the_o former_a for_o the_o water_n of_o this_o grace_n gets-up_a to_o the_o very_a throat_n of_o the_o soul_n in_o such_o sort_n that_o now_o it_o can_v go_v forward_o nor_o know_v how_o to_o do_v it_o nor_o yet_o will_v by_o any_o mean_n return_v backward_o but_o enjoy_v a_o excessive_a kind_n of_o glory_n it_o be_v as_o when_o a_o man_n be_v already_o with_o the_o holy_a die_v candle_n in_o his_o hand_n so_o that_o now_o there_o want_v very_o little_a of_o die_v but_o it_o be_v of_o that_o very_a death_n which_o be_v desire_v for_o she_o be_v enjoy_v the_o great_a delight_n that_o can_v be_v imagine_v in_o that_o agony_n of_o she_o and_o i_o think_v it_o be_v no_o other_o thing_n then_o even_o to_o die_v as_o it_o be_v entire_o to_o all_o the_o thing_n of_o this_o world_n and_o to_o be_v enjoy_v almighty_a god_n for_o my_o part_n i_o can_v think_v of_o no_o other_o term_n wherewith_o to_o express_v it_o or_o declare_v it_o nor_o know_v the_o soul_n at_o that_o time_n what_o to_o do_v nor_o whether_o she_o shall_v speak_v or_o be_v silent_a or_o laugh_v or_o weep_v mind_n it_o be_v a_o glorious_a kind_n of_o frenzy_n and_o a_o celestial_a kind_n of_o folly_n where_o yet_o true_a wisdom_n be_v learn_v and_o it_o be_v a_o most_o delightful_a manner_n of_o enjoy_v for_o the_o soul_n in_o a_o superlative_a degree_n it_o be_v true_a that_o it_o may_v be_v about_o some_o five_o or_o six_o year_n since_o first_o our_o lord_n vouchsafe_v to_o allow_v i_o this_o kind_n of_o prayer_n often_o and_o in_o great_a abundance_n and_o that_o i_o neither_o do_v either_o perfect_o understand_v it_o nor_o yet_o can_v exact_o declare_v it_o and_o for_o my_o part_n i_o make_v account_v when_o i_o be_v come_v hither_o that_o i_o can_v say_v either_o little_a or_o nothing_o and_o yet_o i_o well_o understand_v that_o this_o be_v not_o a_o entire_a union_n of_o all_o the_o power_n of_o the_o soul_n and_o yet_o still_o that_o it_o be_v clear_o more_o than_o may_v be_v find_v in_o the_o former_a degree_n of_o prayer_n and_o yet_o withal_o i_o must_v ever_o confess_v that_o i_o can_v not_o tell_v how_o to_o know_v and_o much_o less_o exact_o determine_v what_o this_o difference_n be_v but_o i_o well_o believe_v that_o for_o the_o humility_n which_o your_o reverence_n have_v show_v in_o be_v desirous_a to_o help_v yourself_o by_o so_o great_a a_o simplicity_n as_o i_o our_o lord_n give_v i_o this_o prayer_n this_o day_n immediate_o after_o my_o receive_v the_o b._n sacrament_n yet_o without_o my_o be_v able_a to_o go_v forward_o and_o he_o put_v these_o comparison_n into_o my_o head_n and_o teach_v i_o the_o manner_n how_o to_o express_v they_o and_o what_o the_o soul_n be_v to_o do_v in_o these_o case_n and_o real_o i_o be_v amaze_v at_o it_o for_o i_o understand_v all_o this_o business_n at_o a_o instant_n many_o time_n i_o be_v as_o it_o be_v out_o of_o myself_o and_o as_o if_o i_o have_v be_v even_o inebriate_v with_o this_o love_n and_o yet_o i_o can_v never_o understand_v how_o it_o be_v only_o i_o know_v very_o well_o that_o it_o be_v god_n but_o i_o can_v not_o tell_v the_o manner_n how_o he_o wrought_v in_o i_o at_o that_o time_n for_o it_o be_v the_o very_a truth_n that_o the_o prayer_n power_n be_v as_o it_o be_v all_o unite_a though_o yet_o not_o so_o ingulf_v but_o that_o still_o they_o work_v and_o i_o have_v be_v extreme_o joy_v that_o at_o length_n i_o be_o come_v to_o understand_v it_o and_o bless_v be_v our_o lord_n for_o ever_o who_o have_v regale_v i_o in_o so_o high_a a_o degree_n these_o power_n have_v only_o now_o ability_n to_o busy_v themselves_o total_o upon_o almighty_a god_n nor_o do_v it_o seem_v that_o any_o of_o they_o now_o even_o dare_v so_o much_o as_o hover_v or_o stir_v not_o as_o it_o be_v breath_n if_o we_o do_v not_o divert_v our_o self_n then_o with_o great_a endeavour_n yea_o and_o even_o so_o i_o think_v we_o can_v scarce_o do_v it_o entire_o at_o that_o time_n a_o multitude_n of_o word_n be_v conceive_v here_o by_o the_o soul_n in_o praise_n of_o our_o lord_n but_o yet_o so_o as_o that_o they_o be_v without_o any_o order_n unless_o our_o lord_n himself_o be_v please_v to_o order_v they_o for_o at_o least_o the_o understanding_n serve_v here_o for_o nothing_o the_o soul_n will_v fain_o cry_v out_o in_o praise_n of_o almighty_a god_n &_o she_o be_v then_o in_o such_o condition_n as_o that_o she_o know_v not_o how_o to_o contain_v herself_o this_o be_v now_o a_o very_a favourie_a kind_n of_o disquiet_n and_o now_o yea_o even_o very_o now_o the_o flower_n open_v themselves_o to_o blossom_n and_o already_o do_v they_o begin_v to_o yield_v their_o odour_n and_o here_o the_o soul_n will_v be_v glad_a that_o all_o the_o world_n may_v be_v able_a to_o see_v and_o understand_v her_o glory_n that_o so_o almighty_a god_n may_v be_v praise_v and_o that_o they_o may_v be_v able_a to_o assist_v she_o therein_o and_o that_o she_o may_v give_v they_o part_v of_o her_o joy_n as_o not_o know_v how_o to_o enjoy_v it_o all_o herself_o i_o think_v she_o be_v now_o to_o be_v like_o she_o of_o the_o gospel_n who_o have_v a_o mind_n to_o call-in_a all_o her_o neighbour_n or_o else_o like_a the_o admirable_a spirit_n of_o the_o royal_a prophet_n david_n who_o may_v feel_v some_o such_o thing_n in_o himself_o as_o this_o when_o he_o play_v upon_o his_o harp_n and_o sing_v in_o honour_n and_o praise_n of_o almighty_a god_n i_o find_v myself_o very_o much_o devote_a to_o this_o glorious_a king_n and_o i_o wish_v that_o all_o the_o world_n be_v so_o especial_o all_o we_o who_o be_v sinner_n o_o my_o dear_a lord_n what_o kind_n of_o thing_n be_v a_o soul_n when_o she_o find_v herself_o in_o such_o a_o condition_n as_o this_o she_o will_v fain_o become_v all_o tongue_n to_o praise_v our_o lord_n she_o utter_v a_o thousand_o holy_a impertinency_n but_o yet_o she_o do_v ever_o endeavour_v to_o hit_v right_a in_o please_v he_o who_o hold_v she_o there_o in_o that_o manner_n i_o know_v of_o a_o certain_a person_n who_o though_o she_o be_v no_o poet_n yet_o instant_o do_v she_o happen_v to_o make_v certain_a verse_n all_o extempore_o which_o be_v very_o significant_a in_o the_o way_n of_o complaint_n &_o declare_v her_o pain_n very_o well_o though_o they_o be_v not_o make_v by_o her_o own_o understanding_n alone_o but_o for_o the_o better_a enjoy_v that_o glory_n which_o give_v she_o so_o delightful_a a_o pain_n she_o complain_v thereof_o to_o her_o god_n she_o wish_v that_o she_o may_v be_v all_o tear_v in_o piece_n both_o in_o body_n and_o soul_n to_o show_v the_o joy_n she_o find_v to_o feel_v this_o pain_n what_o torment_n can_v then_o be_v set_v before_o she_o which_o then_o she_o will_v not_o be_v glad_a to_o endure_v for_o the_o love_n of_o our_o lord_n she_o clear_o see_v that_o the_o martyr_n do_v very_o little_a on_o their_o part_n when_o they_o suffer_v torment_n for_o the_o soul_n know_v then_o very_o well_o that_o her_o strength_n come_v to_o she_o by_o some_o other_o way_n then_o from_o herself_o but_o now_o what_o will_v she_o feel_v when_o she_o come_v back_o to_o employ_v her_o wit_n upon_o know_v how_o to_o live_v again_o in_o this_o world_n and_o to_o return_v both_o to_o the_o care_n and_o compliment_n thereof_o and_o certain_o i_o think_v i_o be_o far_o from_o have_v exaggerated_a any_o thing_n concern_v this_o manner_n of_o joy_n which_o our_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o make_v a_o soul_n possess_v even_o in_o this_o place_n of_o bannishment_n for_o all_o that_o which_o i_o have_v say_v of_o it_o be_v very_o poor_a and_o mean_v in_o comparison_n of_o what_o it_o be_v in_o itself_o bless_a be_v thou_o for_o ever_o o_o lord_n and_o let_v all_o thing_n praise_v thou_o for_o ever_o and_o be_v please_v o_o my_o king_n i_o most_o humble_o beseech_v and_o beg_v at_o thy_o hand_n that_o since_o when_o even_o now_o i_o be_o not_o whole_o out_o of_o this_o holy_a celestial_a frenzy_n or_o folly_n which_o through_o thy_o goodness_n and_o mercy_n and_o so_o whole_o without_o any_o merit_n of_o i_o thou_o do_v i_o the_o great_a favour_n to_o impart_v either_o all_o such_o person_n as_o with_o who_o i_o shall_v have_v occasion_n to_o converse_v may_v be_v even_o as_o it_o be_v mad_a fool_n for_o thy_o love_n or_o else_o dispose_v thou_o so_o of_o i_o as_o that_o

she_o do_v not_o well_o consider_v that_o she_o have_v not_o yet_o mew_v all_o her_o own_o sick-feather_n she_o may_v well_o step_n out_o of_o her_o nest_n yea_o and_o almighty_a god_n himself_o will_n perhaps_o take_v she_o now_o and_o then_o out_o from_o thence_o but_o she_o be_v not_o yet_o fit_a for_o a_o flight_n because_o her_o virtue_n be_v not_o yet_o grow_v to_o be_v of_o full_a strength_n nor_o have_v she_o yet_o experience_n for_o the_o knowledge_n of_o danger_n nor_o do_v she_o yet_o understand_v the_o mischief_n which_o grow_v by_o put_v too_o much_o trust_v in_o her_o own_o force_n and_o now_o this_o be_v that_o which_o destroy_v i_o and_o both_o for_o this_o and_o for_o all_o thing_n there_o will_v be_v great_a necessity_n of_o a_o director_n and_o of_o conversation_n with_o person_n who_o be_v spiritual_a indeed_o it_o be_v true_a i_o be_o full_o persuade_v that_o when_o almighty_a god_n do_v once_o bring_v a_o soul_n to_o this_o state_n he_o will_v not_o leave_v to_o favour_v she_o nor_o suffer_v she_o to_o perish_v if_o she_o do_v not_o very_o shameful_o and_o entire_o forsake_v and_o forbear_v to_o serve_v his_o divine_a majesty_n but_o yet_o if_o it_o shall_v so_o happen_v that_o she_o fall_v let_v she_o consider_v and_o consider_v again_o even_o for_o the_o love_n of_o our_o bless_a lord_n and_o take_v heed_n that_o the_o devil_n deceive_v she_o not_o so_o far_o as_o to_o make_v her_o give-ove_a her_o prayer_n as_o he_o do_v i_o under_o the_o pretence_n of_o false_a humility_n as_o i_o have_v declare_v and_o as_o i_o will_v fain_o repeat_v very_o often_o but_o let_v she_o trust_v in_o the_o goodness_n of_o almighty_a god_n which_o be_v great_a than_o all_o the_o sin_n which_o we_o can_v commit_v and_o let_v her_o hope_n that_o he_o will_v not_o remember_v our_o ingratitude_n when_o once_o we_o reflect_v due_o upon_o ourselves_o desire_v to_o return_v again_o to_o his_o friendship_n nor_o even_o passage_n so_o far_o consider_v the_o favour_n which_o he_o have_v do_v we_o as_o to_o make_v we_o be_v punish_v for_o they_o but_o that_o rather_o they_o will_v help_v to_o obtain_v pardon_n for_o we_o so_o much_o the_o soon_o as_o for_o person_n who_o have_v belong_v to_o his_o house_n and_o have_v have_v the_o honour_n to_o eat_v as_o man_n use_v to_o say_v of_o his_o bread_n let_v they_o remember_v his_o word_n and_o consider_v how_o he_o have_v proceed_v with_o i_o who_o even_o weary_v myself_o with_o offend_v his_o divine_a majesty_n before_o he_o will_v forbear_v or_o fail_v to_o pardon_v i_o for_o he_o never_o grow_v unwilling_a to_o give_v nor_o be_v it_o ever_o possible_a to_o draw_v his_o mercy_n dry_a and_o so_o let_v not_o we_o be_v weary_a of_o ever_o receive_v favour_n at_o his_o hand_n let_v he_o be_v bless_v for_o ever_o amen_n and_o let_v all_o creature_n praise_v he_o the_o twenty_o chapter_n wherein_o she_o treat_v of_o the_o difference_n between_a union_n and_o rapt_v and_o declare_v what_o kind_n of_o thing_n a_o rapt_v be_v she_o speak_v also_o of_o the_o blessing_n which_o that_o soul_n have_v which_o our_o lord_n through_o his_o goodness_n bring_v thither_o and_o of_o the_o effect_n which_o rapt_n use_v to_o produce_v this_o discourse_n be_v of_o much_o admiration_n i_o will_v be_v glad_a to_o know_v how_o to_o declare_v through_o the_o favour_n of_o almighty_a god_n the_o difference_n which_o there_o be_v between_o union_n on_o the_o one_o side_n and_o rapt_v and_o flight_n as_o they_o be_v wont_n to_o call_v it_o of_o spirit_n on_o the_o other_o for_o these_o two_o latter_a do_v signify_v in_o substance_n but_o one_o thing_n and_o it_o be_v also_o call_v extasis_fw-la the_o advantage_n be_v very_o great_a which_o belong_v to_o rapt_v beyond_o union_n and_o the_o effect_n also_o which_o it_o produce_v be_v much_o great_a and_o it_o have_v also_o many_o other_o operation_n for_o mere_a union_n seem_v to_o be_v always_o after_o the_o same_o manner_n both_o in_o the_o beginning_n in_o the_o middle_n and_o in_o the_o end_n and_o it_o be_v always_o in_o the_o interior_a part_n but_o now_o as_o rapt_n be_v visitation_n of_o the_o soul_n which_o use_v to_o be_v of_o a_o high_a strain_n they_o be_v wont_n to_o produce_v their_o effect_n not_o only_o interiorly_a but_o exterior_o also_o i_o humble_o beseech_v our_o bless_a lord_n that_o as_o he_o have_v vouchsafe_v to_o declare_v the_o rest_n so_o he_o will_v also_o vouchsafe_v to_o do_v this_o for_o certain_o if_o his_o divine_a majesty_n have_v not_o be_v please_v to_o give_v i_o to_o understand_v by_o what_o mean_n &_o in_o what_o manner_n it_o may_v be_v do_v i_o shall_v not_o possible_o have_v know_v which_o way_n to_o turn_v my_o hand_n let_v we_o therefore_o now_o consider_v that_o this_o last_o water_n whereof_o we_o have_v speak_v be_v so_o very_o plentiful_a and_o abundant_a that_o if_o it_o be_v not_o because_o the_o soil_n of_o the_o garden_n can_v consent_v to_o receive_v it_o we_o may_v believe_v that_o the_o very_a cloud_n itself_o of_o that_o great_a majesty_n be_v here_o rain_v itself_o down_o upon_o this_o earth_n and_o so_o when_o we_o be_v grateful_a to_o our_o lord_n for_o this_o great_a blessing_n acknowledge_v the_o same_o by_o our_o good_a work_n according_a to_o the_o uttermost_a of_o our_o power_n our_o lord_n catches-up_a rapt_n that_o soul_n as_o a_o man_n may_v say_v even_o just_a so_o as_o the_o cloud_n snatch_v up_o the_o vapour_n from_o the_o earth_n and_o so_o take_v she_o whole_o up_o from_o the_o same_o earth_n the_o cloud_n rise_v up_o to_o heaven_n and_o carry_v the_o same_o along_o with_o itself_o and_o show_v her_o certain_a thing_n belong_v to_o that_o kingdom_n which_o be_v prepare_v for_o she_o i_o know_v not_o whether_o this_o comparison_n will_v be_v think_v to_o suit_n well_o with_o that_o whereof_o i_o be_o speak_v but_o i_o be_o sure_a that_o in_o reality_n of_o truth_n it_o pass_v thus_o in_o these_o rapt_n it_o do_v not_o seem_v that_o the_o soul_n do_v even_o animate_v the_o body_n and_o so_o the_o body_n itself_o remain_v with_o a_o kind_n of_o trouble_n and_o defect_n through_o the_o want_n of_o that_o natural_a heat_n which_o belong_v to_o it_o and_o it_o go_v all_o cool_a itself_o though_o yet_o with_o a_o excessive_a sweetness_n and_o delight_n there_o be_v here_o no_o mean_n at_o all_o to_o resist_v though_o in_o union_n we_o be_v then_o as_o in_o our_o own_o country_n there_o be_v some_o remedy_n and_o so_o though_o it_o be_v not_o without_o suffer_v a_o kind_n of_o pain_n and_o use_v some_o force_n it_o may_v always_o in_o effect_n be_v employ_v but_o here_o for_o the_o most_o part_n there_o be_v no_o remedy_n at_o all_o nor_o any_o help_n but_o many_o time_n the_o thing_n arrive_v without_o our_o be_v so_o much_o as_o able_a to_o prevent_v the_o come_n of_o it_o even_o by_o our_o very_a thought_n and_o there_o grow_v to_o be_v such_o a_o speedy_a and_o strong_a kind_n of_o impetuositie_n that_o you_o feel_v and_o find_v this_o cloud_n to_o raise_v itself_o instant_o up_o or_o rather_o that_o this_o strong_a eagle_n take_v you_o and_o carry_v you_o quite_o away_o between_o her_o wing_n and_o i_o say_v it_o be_v understand_v and_o you_o find_v yourself_o to_o be_v carry_v away_o though_o you_o know_v not_o whither_o for_o howsoever_o the_o thing_n happen_v to_o be_v with_o delight_n yet_o so_o great_a be_v the_o weakness_n of_o our_o natural_a condition_n that_o it_o put_v we_o into_o some_o fear_n in_o the_o beginning_n and_o therefore_o it_o will_v be_v necessary_a in_o this_o case_n for_o the_o soul_n to_o be_v much_o more_o courageous_a and_o resolute_a then_o for_o all_o those_o occasion_n which_o be_v precedent_n for_o here_o she_o must_v be_v content_a to_o hazard_v all_o and_o to_o leave_v herself_o whole_o in_o the_o hand_n of_o almighty_a god_n and_o to_o go_v whithersoever_o she_o shall_v be_v carry_v and_o this_o with_o a_o very_a good_a will_n for_o in_o fine_a they_o will_v be_v sure_a to_o carry_v she_o whether_o she_o will_v or_o no_o and_o that_o with_o so_o great_a extremity_n of_o strength_n and_o speed_n that_o howsoever_o i_o have_v a_o mind_n very_o very_o often_o to_o resist_v it_o yea_o and_o that_o i_o employ_v all_o the_o strength_n i_o have_v to_o that_o purpose_n and_o especial_o at_o some_o particular_a time_n when_o thing_n fall_v out_o to_o happen_v in_o public_a yea_o and_o at_o many_o other_o time_n also_o when_o they_o be_v private_a for_o i_o be_v then_o in_o doubt_n and_o fear_v lest_o i_o may_v be_v abuse_v and_o deceive_v it_o be_v yet_o but_o seldom_o that_o i_o be_v able_a to_o prevail_v to_o some_o small_a proportion_n but_o it_o cost_v

this_o light_n nor_o yet_o of_o any_o other_o thing_n at_o all_o which_o our_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o give_v i_o to_o understand_v and_o that_o with_o such_o a_o sovereign_a kind_n of_o delight_n as_o can_v possible_o be_v declare_v for_o all_o our_o sense_n enjoy_v such_o a_o superior_a degree_n of_o sweetness_n that_o it_o can_v no_o way_n be_v full_o express_v and_o therefore_o i_o think_v it_o will_v be_v best_a to_o say_v no_o more_o i_o have_v once_o be_v above_o a_o hour_n in_o this_o condition_n when_o our_o lord_n show_v i_o admirable_a thing_n and_o seem_v not_o to_o depart_v from_o be_v near_o i_o he_o speak_v these_o very_a word_n to_o i_o see_v here_o my_o daughter_n what_o they_o lose_v who_o be_v against_o i_o &_o do_v not_o thou_o forbear_v to_o let_v they_o know_v it_o but_o o_o my_o dear_a lord_n what_o good_a will_v my_o say_n it_o do_v to_o they_o who_o their_o own_o action_n blind_a so_o deep_o if_o thy_o divine_a majesty_n do_v not_o give_v they_o light_v some_o there_o be_v to_o who_o thou_o have_v give_v it_o and_o they_o have_v profit_v much_o by_o know_v those_o greatness_n of_o thou_o but_o yet_o o_o my_o lord_n they_o see_v in_o such_o sort_n withal_o that_o they_o be_v show_v to_o such_o a_o wretched_a and_o miserable_a thing_n as_o myself_o that_o i_o can_v but_o esteem_v it_o a_o strange_a thing_n to_o find_v that_o any_o creature_n shall_v believe_v i_o bless_a be_v thy_o name_n and_o thy_o mercy_n for_o at_o least_o i_o have_v plain_o see_v a_o evident_a amendment_n in_o my_o own_o soul_n and_o i_o will_v be_v glad_a if_o i_o may_v still_o remain_v there_o and_o not_o come_v back_o to_o live_v here_o any_o more_o for_o the_o contempt_n wherein_o i_o hold_v this_o whole_a world_n be_v very_o great_a and_o it_o seem_v to_o be_v no_o better_o than_o even_o dung_n to_o i_o and_o now_o i_o find_v how_o base_o we_o be_v employ_v who_o be_v detain_v therein_o whilst_o i_o remain_v with_o that_o lady_n of_o who_o i_o speak_v before_o it_o happen_v to_o i_o once_o when_o i_o be_v ill_a and_o even_o sick_a at_o the_o hart_n for_o i_o have_v former_o be_v subject_n to_o this_o misery_n though_o nothing_o so_o much_o of_o late_a she_o consider_v i_o with_o much_o charity_n and_o compassion_n command_v that_o one_o day_n certain_a jewel_n of_o she_o shall_v be_v bring_v forth_o which_o she_o have_v of_o very_o great_a value_n and_o one_o in_o particular_a of_o diamond_n which_o be_v prize_v at_o a_o very_a high_a rate_n now_o she_o conceive_v belike_o that_o this_o will_v recreate_v and_o revive_v i_o but_o i_o smile_v inward_o at_o she_o the_o while_n and_o have_v compassion_n to_o see_v how_o mean_a thing_n man_n esteem_v when_o i_o consider_v what_o our_o lord_n have_v layd-up_a for_o we_o and_o i_o think_v how_o impossible_a a_o thing_n it_o will_v be_v for_o i_o to_o put_v any_o manner_n of_o value_n upon_o such_o toy_n as_o those_o even_o though_o i_o shall_v endeavour_v it_o unless_o our_o lord_n shall_v first_o deprive_v i_o of_o the_o memory_n of_o those_o other_o treasure_n but_o now_o this_o kind_n of_o favour_n give_v so_o great_a a_o dominion_n to_o the_o soul_n that_o i_o know_v not_o whether_o it_o can_v possible_o be_v understand_v but_o only_o by_o such_o person_n as_o possess_v it_o for_o it_o be_v the_o proper_a true_a and_o natural_a discharge_n and_o unty_v of_o the_o soul_n from_o all_o thing_n create_v and_o this_o grow_v absolute_o without_o any_o labour_n of_o our_o own_o and_o almighty_a god_n do_v it_o all_o and_o then_o his_o divine_a majesty_n show_v these_o truth_n and_o that_o so_o as_o to_o make_v they_o remain_v imprint_v and_o engrave_v in_o the_o soul_n and_o they_o serve_v also_o to_o make_v we_o see_v clear_o that_o it_o be_v not_o possible_a for_o we_o to_o acquire_v they_o especial_o in_o so_o short_a a_o time_n by_o any_o diligence_n of_o our_o own_o upon_o this_o i_o also_o come_v to_o have_v very_o little_a fear_n of_o death_n which_o former_o have_v be_v great_a in_o i_o but_o now_o it_o be_v grow_v to_o seem_v to_o be_v a_o thing_n of_o very_a much_o facility_n and_o ease_n for_o such_o as_o apply_v themselves_o to_o the_o service_n of_o almighty_a god_n for_o by_o death_n the_o soul_n fly_v out_o of_o prison_n in_o one_o moment_n and_o be_v not_o only_o put_v present_o into_o liberty_n but_o enjoy_v a_o everlasting_a rest_n and_o glory_n now_o this_o way_n which_o be_v hold_v by_o almighty_a god_n in_o carry_v the_o spirit_n up_o to_o show_v she_o so_o excellent_a thing_n in_o these_o rapt_n seem_v to_o bear_v a_o very_a close_a kind_n of_o conformity_n with_o the_o passage_n of_o a_o soul_n out_o of_o a_o body_n at_o the_o hour_n of_o death_n since_o it_o grow_v even_o at_o one_o instant_a to_o be_v so_o entire_o inpossession_n of_o this_o eternal_a good_n but_o here_o i_o lay_v aside_o the_o consideration_n of_o those_o sorrow_n and_o pain_n which_o be_v feel_v when_o the_o soul_n be_v tear_v out_o of_o the_o body_n for_o we_o be_v to_o make_v little_a account_n of_o that_o and_o they_o also_o who_o love_n god_n in_o good_a earnest_n and_o have_v shake_v hand_n with_o all_o the_o contentment_n of_o this_o life_n be_v certain_o wont_a to_o die_v with_o more_o sweetness_n it_o also_o seem_v to_o i_o that_o these_o favour_n do_v i_o very_o much_o good_a towards_o the_o bring_v i_o into_o a_o knowledge_n of_o our_o true_a country_n and_o to_o see_v that_o we_o be_v mere_a pilgrim_n here_o and_o it_o be_v a_o precious_a kind_n of_o thing_n to_o find_v what_o pass_v there_o above_o and_o to_o understand_v where_o in_o fine_a we_o be_v to_o live_v for_o ever_o and_o whensoever_o one_o go_v to_o settle_v and_o stay_v for_o good_a and_o all_o in_o any_o country_n it_o give_v a_o great_a assistance_n towards_o the_o endure_a all_o the_o incommodity_n of_o the_o journey_n when_o we_o know_v that_o the_o end_n of_o it_o be_v to_o be_v such_o as_o that_o we_o may_v in_o fine_a be_v in_o great_a repose_n and_o happiness_n when_o we_o get_v thither_o it_o be_v also_o here_o obtain_v that_o with_o case_n we_o may_v grow_v able_a to_o consider_v heavenly_a thing_n that_o so_o our_o conversation_n may_v be_v there_o and_o this_o be_v a_o great_a kind_n of_o gain_n since_o the_o only_o think_v of_o heaven_n recollect_n the_o soul_n in_o regard_n that_o our_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o show_v we_o somewhat_o which_o pass_v there_o we_o be_v induce_v to_o pause_v and_o think_v upon_o it_o and_o sometime_o it_o so_o fall_v out_o that_o they_o who_o i_o know_v to_o live_v there_o be_v the_o soul_n who_o accompany_v i_o and_o in_o who_o i_o receive_v most_o comfort_n and_o these_o indeed_o be_v they_o who_o seem_v to_o be_v true_o alive_a and_o those_o other_o on_o the_o other_o side_n who_o live_v here_o seem_v to_o be_v so_o very_o deadly_a dead_a as_o that_o this_o whole_a world_n put_v together_o can_v amount_v to_o be_v any_o company_n at_o all_o for_o i_o and_o especial_o when_o i_o find_v any_o of_o these_o impulse_n or_o impetuosity_n in_o myself_o the_o whole_a world_n seem_v to_o be_v but_o a_o very_a dream_n and_o all_o the_o object_n of_o these_o corporeal_a eye_n of_o i_o a_o mere_a jest_n and_o toy_n but_o that_o which_o already_o i_o have_v see_v with_o the_o eye_n of_o my_o soul_n that_o i_o say_v be_v the_o thing_n which_o she_o desire_v and_o because_o she_o find_v herself_o to_o be_v yet_o far_o off_o from_o thence_o this_o be_v that_o which_o be_v no_o less_o than_o even_o death_n itself_o to_o my_o soul_n in_o fine_a the_o favour_n be_v excessive_o great_a which_o our_o lord_n vouchsafe_v to_o that_o soul_n to_o who_o he_o give_v such_o vision_n as_o these_o for_o they_o help_v she_o much_o in_o all_o thing_n and_o particular_o to_o the_o carry_v of_o a_o certain_a heavy_a cross_n which_o lie_v upon_o she_o for_o nothing_o can_v satisfy_v she_o now_o but_o every_o thing_n disgust_n and_o check_v she_o and_o if_o our_o bless_a lord_n do_v not_o give_v way_n that_o we_o may_v forget_v it_o sometime_o though_o yet_o we_o remember_v it_o again_o afterward_o i_o know_v not_o how_o we_o shall_v be_v able_a to_o live_v let_v he_o be_v bless_v and_o praise_v for_o all_o eternity_n and_o i_o humble_o beg_v of_o his_o divine_a majesty_n even_o by_o that_o very_a precious_a blood_n which_o his_o own_o son_n shed_v for_o i_o that_o since_o he_o have_v vouchsafe_v that_o i_o shall_v understand_v somewhat_o of_o these_o benefit_n and_o blessing_n and_o that_o i_o shall_v begin_v to_o enjoy_v they_o also_o in_o some_o kind_n even_o in_o this_o life_n it_o

not_o overshadow_v and_o even_o hide_v thy_o greatness_n who_o will_v ever_o presume_v to_o approach_v so_o often_o as_o we_o do_v towards_o the_o join_n of_o such_o wretched_a and_o filthy_a thing_n as_o we_o be_v to_o so_o high_a a_o majesty_n as_o thou_o but_o bless_a be_v thou_o for_o ever_o my_o dear_a lord_n and_o let_v the_o angel_n vea_o and_o all_o creature_n praise_n and_o glorifye_v thy_o holy_a name_n who_o do_v so_o measure_v and_o weigh_v thing_n out_o together_o with_o our_o great_a weakness_n as_o that_o we_o may_v be_v able_a to_o enjoy_v those_o sovereign_a favour_n of_o thou_o without_o be_v fright_v by_o thy_o infinite_a power_n though_o yet_o we_o be_v so_o miserable_a and_o unworthy_a creature_n i_o think_v it_o may_v happen_v to_o we_o here_o as_o once_o it_o do_v to_o another_o and_o this_o i_o know_v to_o be_v true_a a_o certain_a labouring-man_n find_v a_o treasure_n and_o the_o same_o fall_v out_o to_o be_v great_a than_o can_v get_v room_n in_o his_o straight_a and_o narrow-hart_n he_o come_v to_o have_v this_o treasure_n in_o his_o power_n grow_v withal_o to_o have_v such_o a_o melancholy_n in_o his_o mind_n that_o he_o come_v by_o little_a and_o little_a to_o die_v by_o the_o very_a care_n and_o affliction_n of_o his_o thought_n for_o not_o know_v what_o he_o be_v best_a to_o do_v with_o his_o treasure_n whereas_o if_o he_o have_v not_o find_v it_o all_o together_o but_o that_o some_o one_o have_v give_v it_o he_o by_o little_a and_o little_a accommodate_v he_o and_o sustain_v he_o by_o degree_n the_o poor_a man_n will_v have_v live_v content_v and_o it_o will_v never_o have_v cost_v he_o his_o life_n o_o thou_o who_o be_v the_o riches_n of_o the_o poor_a and_o how_o admirable_o do_v thou_o know_v how_o to_o sustain_v soul_n and_o how_o careful_a be_v thou_o to_o show_v they_o treasure_n by_o little_a and_o little_a and_o that_o they_o may_v not_o see_v too_o much_o at_o once_o when_o i_o see_v so_o great_a a_o majesty_n as_o thou_o dissemble_v as_o it_o be_v and_o disguised_z in_o so_o small_a a_o thing_n as_o the_o sacred_a host_n it_o be_v true_a that_o in_o these_o latter_a time_n and_o since_o i_o have_v be_v partaker_n of_o these_o vision_n i_o be_o even_o in_o admiration_n at_o so_o great_a a_o wisdom_n nor_o do_v i_o know_v how_o our_o lord_n give_v i_o strength_n and_o courage_n to_o approach_v it_o but_o if_o he_o who_o have_v do_v i_o and_o do_v i_o still_o so_o great_a favour_n do_v not_o govern_v i_o also_o herein_o it_o be_v not_o possible_a that_o i_o can_v dissemble_v the_o matter_n any_o long_o but_o must_v cry_v out_o and_o that_o aloud_o at_o the_o sight_n of_o so_o great_a wonder_n as_o these_o and_o what_o now_o be_v it_o then_o that_o so_o miserable_a a_o creature_n and_o so_o load_v with_o abomination_n as_o i_o be_o and_o who_o have_v spend_v my_o whole_a life_n in_o so_o little_a fear_n of_o almighty_a god_n aught_o to_o find_v with_o all_o reason_n in_o herself_o to_o see_v that_o she_o approach_v so_o great_a a_o majesty_n even_o when_o he_o be_v please_v that_o my_o soul_n shall_v behold_v he_o with_o her_o very_a eye_n how_o shall_v this_o mouth_n of_o i_o which_o have_v utter_v so_o many_o word_n against_o the_o service_n of_o that_o very_a lord_n himself_o presume_v to_o touch_v that_o most_o glorious_a body_n of_o he_o so_o full_a of_o piety_n and_o purity_n since_o the_o love_n which_o that_o divine_a countenance_n of_o so_o much_o beauty_n suavitie_n and_o affability_n discover_v to_o we_o do_v more_o afflict_v and_o wound_v the_o soul_n then_o do_v even_o that_o fear_n and_o terror_n which_o be_v breed_v in_o we_o by_o the_o consideration_n of_o his_o high_a majesty_n but_o what_o then_o shall_v i_o feel_v in_o myself_o who_o have_v see_v all_o this_o whereof_o i_o speak_v two_o several_a time_n i_o be_o real_o about_o to_o say_v o_o thou_o my_o dear_a lord_n and_o the_o very_a glory_n of_o my_o soul_n that_o i_o have_v in_o some_o kind_n do_v thou_o service_n by_o the_o great_a affliction_n which_o my_o soul_n have_v feel_v in_o herself_o and_o yet_o alas_o alas_o i_o can_v hardly_o tell_v even_o what_o i_o say_v who_o be_o in_o effect_n write_v this_o without_o know_v almost_o what_o i_o do_v for_o i_o find_v that_o i_o be_o all_o trouble_a yea_o and_o half_a beside_o myself_o when_o i_o go_v back_o to_o bring_v these_o thing_n to_o my_o remembrance_n though_o i_o may_v seem_v to_o have_v some_o little_a reason_n for_o what_o i_o say_v and_o that_o i_o have_v do_v some_o little_a thing_n for_o thy_o service_n o_o my_o lord_n &_o my_o god_n but_o since_o i_o be_o not_o the_o owner_n of_o so_o much_o as_o one_o good_a thought_n if_o thou_o impart_v it_o not_o to_o i_o there_o be_v nothing_o for_o which_o i_o can_v pretend_v to_o be_v thank_v but_o i_o be_o still_o the_o debtor_n o_o my_o lord_n and_o still_o thou_o be_v the_o party_n offend_v go_v one_o day_n to_o receive_v the_o b._n sacrament_n i_o see_v two_o divelis_n with_o the_o eye_n of_o my_o soul_n more_o clear_o then_o if_o i_o have_v see_v they_o with_o the_o eye_n of_o my_o body_n in_o a_o most_o abominable_a figure_n and_o i_o think_v their_o horn_n do_v encompass_v the_o very_a throat_n of_o a_o certain_a poor_a priest_n and_o i_o see_v also_o my_o lord_n with_o that_o great_a majesty_n whereof_o i_o have_v speak_v place_v in_o those_o hand_n of_o that_o priest_n which_o he_o be_v go_v to_o minister_v to_o i_o with_o the_o same_o sinful_a hand_n of_o he_o for_o i_o understand_v that_o soul_n to_o be_v then_o in_o the_o state_n of_o mortal_a sinne._n but_o now_o what_o kind_n of_o object_n must_v it_o be_v to_o see_v thy_o beauty_n o_o my_o lord_n in_o the_o midst_n of_o so_o abominable_a figure_n those_o devil_n be_v as_o all_o amaze_a and_o fright_v in_o thy_o presence_n and_o willing_o enough_o will_v have_v be_v go_v from_o thence_o if_o they_o can_v have_v get_v thy_o leave_n this_o give_v i_o such_o a_o excessive_a trouble_n that_o i_o know_v not_o how_o i_o shall_v be_v able_a to_o communicate_v through_o the_o great_a fear_n wherein_o i_o be_v as_o conceave_a that_o if_o it_o have_v be_v a_o true_a vision_n his_o divine_a majesty_n will_v never_o have_v permit_v that_o i_o shall_v discern_v the_o misery_n wherein_o that_o poor_a soul_n remain_v the_o same_o dear_a lord_n of_o i_o command_v i_o to_o pray_v for_o that_o soul_n and_o tell_v i_o that_o he_o have_v suffer_v what_o i_o have_v see_v to_o the_o end_n that_o i_o may_v know_v of_o how_o great_a power_n and_o force_n the_o word_n of_o consecration_n be_v and_o that_o almighty_a god_n will_v not_o be_v keep_v from_o thence_o how_o wicked_a soever_o that_o priest_n shall_v be_v who_o pronounce_v they_o and_o to_o the_o end_n that_o i_o may_v also_o discern_v his_o great_a goodness_n in_o not_o forbear_v to_o put_v himself_o into_o the_o hand_n even_o of_o his_o great_a enemy_n for_o the_o good_a both_o of_o i_o and_o of_o all_o man_n and_o i_o also_o understand_v thereby_o how_o much_o more_o priest_n be_v oblige_v to_o be_v virtuous_a and_o good_a than_o other_o man_n and_o how_o terrible_a a_o thing_n it_o be_v to_o take_v the_o b._n sacrament_n unworthy_o and_o how_o absolute_a a_o lord_n the_o devil_n be_v of_o any_o soul_n which_o be_v in_o mortal_a sinne._n in_o fine_a this_o passage_n do_v i_o a_o great_a deal_n of_o good_a and_o give_v i_o a_o most_o particular_a knowledge_n of_o the_o very_a great_a obligation_n wherein_o i_o be_v to_o almighty_a god_n and_o let_v he_o be_v bless_v and_o praise_v for_o all_o eternity_n amen_n another_o time_n i_o happen_v to_o see_v another_o thing_n which_o amaze_v i_o extreme_o i_o be_v in_o a_o certain_a place_n where_o a_o certain_a person_n die_v who_o have_v live_v very_o ill_a and_o that_o many_o year_n but_o during_o two_o of_o they_o he_o have_v be_v sick_a and_o in_o some_o thing_n he_o also_o seem_v to_o be_v reform_v this_o man_n die_v without_o confession_n but_o still_o it_o seem_v to_o i_o that_o he_o be_v not_o to_o be_v damn_v though_o yet_o whilst_o man_n be_v shroud_a he_o and_o prepare_v he_o for_o burial_n i_o see_v many_o devil_n possess_v themselves_o of_o that_o body_n and_o they_o seem_v as_o it_o be_v to_o play_v with_o it_o and_o yet_o withal_o they_o use_v diverse_a cruelty_n upon_o it_o for_o they_o do_v with_o certain_a great_a hook_n both_o tear_n and_o toss_v it_o from_o one_o to_o another_o and_o this_o strike_v i_o into_o a_o very_a great_a fear_n when_o afterward_o i_o see_v he_o carry_v to_o be_v bury_v with_o all_o the_o ceremony_n and_o

of_o discourse_v with_o my_o understanding_n nor_o to_o help_v myself_o by_o the_o use_n of_o my_o imagination_n which_o i_o have_v so_o heavy_a and_o gross_a that_o even_o to_o think_v and_o represent_v within_o myself_o so_o much_o as_o the_o humanity_n of_o our_o bless_a lord_n which_o i_o endeavour_v to_o do_v be_v yet_o more_o than_o i_o can_v possible_o perform_v and_o howsoever_o by_o this_o way_n of_o not_o be_v able_a to_o employ_v and_o set_v the_o understanding_n on_o work_n in_o the_o way_n of_o discourse_n man_n may_v soon_o arrive_v to_o contemplation_n if_o they_o persevere_v therein_o yet_o be_v it_o very_o troublesome_a and_o painful_a because_o if_o the_o employment_n of_o the_o will_n do_v fail_v so_o far_o of_o obtain_v the_o true_a end_n as_o that_o their_o love_n find_v no_o present_a object_n to_o embrace_v the_o soul_n be_v leave_v as_o it_o be_v without_o any_o exercise_n and_o rest_n at_o all_o and_o that_o kind_a of_o solitude_n and_o dryness_n give_v much_o trouble_n and_o open_v the_o way_n to_o a_o combat_n and_o confusion_n of_o thought_n as_o for_o person_n who_o have_v this_o disposition_n there_o be_v need_n of_o a_o great_a purity_n of_o conscience_n then_o for_o such_o other_o as_o be_v able_a to_o work_v and_o discourse_n by_o way_n of_o the_o understanding_n for_o he_o who_o be_v able_a to_o discourse_v upon_o what_o this_o world_n be_v and_o upon_o what_o he_o owe_v to_o almighty_a god_n and_o how_o much_o he_o suffer_v for_o he_o and_o how_o little_a himself_o be_v able_a to_o serve_v he_o and_o what_o he_o bestow_v upon_o such_o as_o love_v he_o will_v be_v able_a to_o draw_v a_o doctrine_n from_o thence_o which_o may_v defend_v he_o from_o impertinent_a thought_n and_o occasion_n and_o danger_n but_o he_o who_o can_v not_o serve_v himself_o thereof_o run_v more_o hazard_n and_o shall_v therefore_o do_v well_o to_o employ_v himself_o much_o upon_o read_v since_o on_o his_o own_o part_n he_o know_v not_o how_o to_o help_v himself_o this_o manner_n of_o proceed_v be_v so_o very_o extreme_o painful_a that_o if_o the_o director_n who_o instruct_v shall_v urge_v he_o much_o to_o pray_v without_o read_v which_o great_o help_v to_o recollect_v the_o person_n who_o proceed_v thus_o yea_o and_o be_v necessary_a for_o he_o though_o it_o be_v little_a which_o he_o read_v save_v only_o in_o time_n and_o place_n of_o mental_a prayer_n which_o he_o be_v not_o able_a to_o make_v i_o say_v if_o without_o this_o help_n they_o make_v he_o stay_v much_o in_o prayer_n it_o will_v be_v impossible_a for_o he_o to_o last_v long_o therein_o and_o beside_o it_o will_v do_v he_o hurt_v in_o point_n of_o health_n for_o it_o be_v extreme_o painful_a now_o it_o seem_v that_o our_o lord_n provide_v so_o for_o i_o as_o that_o i_o shall_v not_o find_v any_o creature_n to_o instruct_v i_o for_o it_o have_v be_v impossible_a for_o i_o i_o think_v to_o continue_v to_o endure_v this_o extreme_a difficulty_n and_o these_o great_a aridity_n through_o my_o not_o be_v able_a as_o i_o be_v say_v to_o discourse_v in_o all_o these_o time_n i_o never_o dare_v begin_v to_o pray_v without_o a_o book_n in_o my_o hand_n unless_o it_o be_v instant_o upon_o my_o have_v communicate_v and_o as_o hearty_o be_v my_o soul_n afraid_a to_o be_v in_o prayer_n without_o a_o book_n as_o if_o i_o have_v be_v to_o fight_v with_o a_o multitude_n of_o people_n but_o by_o this_o remedy_n of_o a_o good_a book_n which_o be_v as_o a_o company_n of_o guard_n or_o as_o a_o buckler_n upon_o which_o the_o blow_n of_o many_o thought_n be_v to_o be_v receive_v i_o go_v on_o with_o comfort_n for_o that_o dryness_n be_v not_o ordinary_a with_o i_o though_o i_o have_v it_o always_o whensoever_o i_o have_v no_o book_n in_o my_o hand_n but_o then_o my_o soul_n be_v instant_o in_o disorder_n and_o my_o thought_n wander_v up_o and_o down_o but_o with_o read_v i_o begin_v to_o recollect_v they_o and_o carry_v my_o hart_n cheerful_o and_o delightful_o on_o yea_o and_o many_o time_n in_o the_o very_a open_v my_o book_n i_o find_v myself_o need_v no_o more_o sometime_o also_o i_o read_v little_a and_o sometime_o much_o according_a to_o the_o favour_n which_o our_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o do_v i_o more_o or_o less_o and_o it_o seem_v to_o i_o that_o if_o in_o those_o beginning_n whereof_o i_o speak_v i_o may_v have_v have_v book_n and_o mean_n to_o continue_v in_o solitude_n there_o will_v have_v be_v no_o danger_n which_o can_v have_v be_v able_a to_o deprive_v i_o of_o so_o great_a a_o good_a and_o i_o be_o also_o apt_a to_o think_v that_o by_o the_o favour_n of_o almighty_a god_n it_o will_v have_v prove_v so_o if_o i_o have_v have_v a_o director_n or_o some_o person_n who_o may_v have_v counsel_v i_o to_o avoid_v occasion_n in_o those_o beginning_n and_o to_o make_v i_o forsake_v they_o quick_o if_o i_o have_v be_v enter_v into_o they_o yea_o and_o though_o the_o devil_n shall_v then_o have_v set_v open_o upon_o i_o i_o think_v that_o i_o will_v never_o have_v be_v bring_v to_o offend_v god_n grievous_o again_o but_o he_o be_v so_o very_o crafty_a and_o i_o so_o wretched_a that_o all_o these_o resolution_n of_o i_o do_v i_o little_a good_a but_o the_o time_n which_o i_o spend_v in_o god_n service_n do_v i_o very_o much_o towards_o the_o bear_n those_o terrible_a sickness_n which_o i_o endure_v with_o so_o great_a patience_n as_o his_o divine_a majesty_n vouchsafe_v to_o bestow_v upon_o i_o i_o have_v often_o consider_v the_o great_a goodness_n of_o almighty_a god_n even_o with_o amazement_n and_o my_o soul_n have_v be_v regale_v to_o see_v the_o magnificence_n of_o his_o mercy_n towards_o i_o let_v he_o be_v bless_v for_o all_o thing_n for_o i_o have_v see_v in_o most_o evident_a manner_n that_o he_o have_v not_o leave_v any_o one_o good_a desire_n of_o i_o without_o recompense_n even_o in_o this_o life_n and_o how_o imperfect_a and_o full_a of_o fault_n soever_o my_o work_n be_v yet_o this_o lord_n of_o i_o go_v better_v and_o perfect_v they_o and_o give_v they_o worth_a and_o my_o sin_n and_o misery_n he_o will_v instant_o hide_v yea_o his_o divine_a majesty_n have_v permit_v that_o even_o the_o eye_n of_o such_o as_o see_v they_o shall_v be_v blind_v and_o their_o memory_n fail_v when_o they_o will_v remember_v they_o he_o even_o guild_v our_o fault_n and_o make_v that_o virtue_n shine_v bright_a which_o he_o the_o same_o lord_n convey_v into_o i_o and_o wherein_o he_o offer_v i_o even_o a_o kind_n of_o violence_n that_o i_o may_v receive_v it_o but_o i_o will_v now_o return_v to_o speak_v of_o those_o thing_n which_o they_o have_v command_v i_o to_o declare_v and_o i_o say_v that_o if_o i_o be_v to_o set_v forth_o after_o a_o particular_a manner_n in_o what_o sort_n our_o lord_n proceed_v with_o i_o in_o these_o beginning_n i_o shall_v need_v another_o manner_n of_o understanding_n than_o my_o own_o to_o perform_v all_o that_o with_o advantage_n for_o which_o i_o be_o oblige_v to_o he_o in_o this_o particular_a and_o to_o publish_v my_o own_o ingratitude_n and_o wickedness_n since_o he_o have_v forget_v it_o all_o let_v he_o be_v bless_v for_o ever_o who_o have_v endure_v so_o much_o at_o my_o hand_n amen_o the_o five_o chapter_n she_o prosecute_v the_o relation_n of_o the_o great_a infirmity_n which_o she_o have_v and_o of_o the_o patience_n which_o our_o lord_n give_v she_o in_o they_o and_o how_o benefit_n be_v draw_v out_o of_o mischief_n as_o will_v be_v see_v by_o a_o certain_a particular_a which_o happen_v to_o she_o in_o the_o place_n whither_o she_o go_v to_o be_v cure_v i_o forget_v to_o relate_v how_o in_o the_o year_n of_o my_o novitiate_a i_o suffer_v much_o disquiet_n about_o some_o thing_n which_o in_o themselves_o be_v of_o little_a importance_n but_o i_o find_v myself_o to_o be_v blame_v many_o time_n without_o my_o have_v make_v any_o fault_n and_o this_o i_o take_v with_o trouble_n and_o imperfection_n enough_o though_o yet_o i_o endure_v it_o all_o through_o the_o contentment_n which_o i_o have_v to_o be_v a_o religious_a woman_n when_o they_o observe_v i_o to_o love_v solitude_n so_o well_o and_o see_v i_o shed_v tear_n sometime_o which_o yet_o indeed_o be_v for_o my_o sin_n they_o think_v yea_o and_o they_o say_v that_o it_o grow_v but_o from_o some_o inward_a melancholy_n and_o disgust_v for_o my_o part_n i_o have_v a_o good_a inclination_n to_o all_o the_o observance_n of_o a_o religious_a life_n save_v only_o that_o i_o know_v not_o how_o to_o endure_v any_o thing_n which_o may_v carry_v so_o much_o as_o a_o appearance_n of_o contempt_n with_o it_o for_o i_o delight_v in_o be_v esteem_v

also_o with_o have_v begin_v so_o to_o use_v prayer_n as_o that_o i_o may_v be_v able_a to_o carry_v my_o pain_n with_o much_o conformity_n to_o his_o holy_a will_n the_o conversation_n of_o my_o hart_n be_v whole_o with_o he_o and_o i_o carry_v these_o word_n of_o job_n very_o usual_o both_o in_o my_o thought_n and_o in_o my_o mouth_n since_o we_o have_v receive_v blessing_n and_o benefit_n at_o the_o hand_n of_o our_o lord_n why_o shall_v we_o not_o also_o suffer_v affliction_n and_o i_o conceive_v that_o this_o help_v to_o give_v i_o courage_n at_o length_n come_v the_o feast_n of_o our_o b._n lady_n in_o august_n for_o till_o then_o from_o the_o april_n before_o have_v my_o torment_n continue_v though_o yet_o it_o have_v be_v great_a in_o the_o three_o last_o month_n i_o than_o make_v haste_n to_o go_v to_o confession_n for_o i_o ever_o take_v much_o contentment_n to_o confess_v often_o my_o friend_n think_v that_o it_o be_v fear_n of_o death_n which_o invite_v i_o to_o be_v so_o devout_a and_o so_o to_o the_o end_n that_o i_o may_v not_o be_v put_v into_o apprehension_n my_o father_n will_v not_o let_v i_o confess_v o_o inordinate_a and_o irregular_a love_n of_o flesh_n and_o blood_n since_o though_o i_o have_v so_o catholic_n a_o father_n and_o so_o full_a of_o prudence_n and_o consideration_n in_o all_o his_o action_n which_o even_o abound_v in_o he_o for_o this_o can_v not_o be_v a_o effect_n of_o ignorance_n yet_o he_o may_v have_v do_v i_o hurt_n enough_o by_o this_o mean_n that_o night_n i_o fall_v into_o such_o a_o trance_n as_o continue_v to_o keep_v i_o near_o four_o day_n without_o the_o use_n almost_o of_o any_o of_o my_o sense_n and_o short_o they_o come_v to_o give_v i_o the_o sacrament_n of_o extreme_a unction_n and_o every_o hour_n or_o rather_o every_o moment_n it_o be_v expect_v when_o i_o shall_v expire_v they_o be_v as_o diligent_a in_o say_v the_o creed_n devil_n in_o my_o hear_n as_o if_o i_o have_v understand_v they_o yea_o sometime_o they_o hold_v i_o for_o so_o certain_o to_o be_v dead_a that_o afterward_o i_o find_v the_o drop_n of_o the_o holy_a candle_n wax-candle_n about_o my_o eye_n the_o affliction_n of_o my_o father_n be_v great_a for_o his_o not_o have_v permit_v i_o to_o go_v to_o confession_n many_o outcry_n and_o many_o prayer_n be_v make_v to_o almighty_a god_n for_o i_o and_o bless_v be_v he_o who_o be_v please_v to_o hear_v they_o for_o the_o grave_n remain_v open_a in_o the_o church_n of_o my_o monastery_n a_o day_n and_o a_o half_a where_o my_o body_n be_v expect_v to_o be_v inter_v and_o my_o funeral_n have_v be_v already_o celebrate_v by_o the_o religious_a man_n of_o our_o order_n in_o another_o town_n where_o it_o be_v conceive_v that_o i_o be_v dead_a our_o lord_n be_v yet_o please_v at_o length_n that_o i_o shall_v teturne_v to_o myself_o and_o so_o instant_o i_o will_v needs_o go_v to_o confession_n i_o receive_v also_o the_o b._n sacrament_n with_o many_o tear_n though_o yet_o in_o my_o opinion_n they_o be_v not_o shed_v with_o that_o sense_n and_o grief_n for_o only_o my_o have_v offend_v almighty_a god_n which_o may_v have_v serve_v to_o save_v my_o soul_n if_o the_o error_n into_o which_o i_o be_v bring_v by_o they_o who_o have_v tell_v i_o that_o they_o be_v not_o matter_n of_o mortal_a sin_n which_o afterward_o i_o see_v plain_o that_o they_o be_v may_v not_o serve_v my_o turn_n for_o the_o torment_n wherewith_o i_o remain_v be_v intolerable_a and_o my_o understanding_n not_o very_o sharp_a but_o rather_o dull_a though_o yet_o as_o i_o conceive_v my_o confession_n be_v entire_a of_o all_o thing_n whereby_o i_o may_v think_v that_o i_o have_v offend_v god_n for_o this_o mercy_n do_v his_o divine_a majesty_n vouchsafe_v to_o allow_v i_o among_o other_o that_o after_o i_o have_v once_o begin_v to_o receive_v the_o b._n sacrament_n i_o never_o omit_v to_o confess_v any_o thing_n which_o i_o conceive_v to_o be_v a_o sin_n though_o it_o be_v but_o venial_a though_o yet_o still_o i_o think_v that_o without_o doubt_n my_o soul_n may_v have_v run_v hazard_n not_o to_o be_v save_v if_o i_o have_v die_v then_o in_o regard_n that_o on_o the_o one_o side_n my_o ghostly_a father_n have_v be_v so_o mean_o learn_v and_o on_o the_o other_o side_n and_o indeed_o on_o many_o side_n in_o regard_n that_o in_o myself_o i_o be_v so_o wicked_a but_o this_o be_v always_o a_o most_o certain_a truth_n that_o when_o i_o return_v to_o a_o thought_n of_o this_o passage_n and_o consider_v how_o it_o seem_v as_o if_o our_o lord_n have_v raise_v i_o again_o from_o death_n to_o life_n i_o be_o fill_v with_o so_o huge_a a_o amazement_n that_o i_o remain_v even_o as_o it_o be_v all_o quake_a within_o myself_o and_o now_o i_o think_v it_o be_v well_o o_o my_o soul_n that_o thou_o will_v gather_v this_o just_a resolution_n from_o that_o great_a danger_n out_o of_o which_o it_o please_v our_o lord_n to_o deliver_v thou_o that_o although_o thou_o will_v not_o fly_v from_o offend_v his_o divine_a majesty_n for_o love_n yet_o at_o least_o thou_o shall_v forbear_v to_o do_v it_o for_o fear_n for_o he_o may_v have_v take_v thy_o life_n from_o thou_o a_o thousand_o time_n when_o thou_o be_v in_o a_o more_o dangerous_a state_n and_o i_o think_v that_o i_o shall_v not_o say_v too_o much_o if_o i_o do_v speak_v of_o a_o thousand_o time_n more_o though_o he_o perhaps_o may_v chide_v i_o who_o command_v i_o to_o use_v moderation_n in_o the_o recital_n of_o my_o sin_n and_o yet_o i_o doubt_v that_o i_o have_v paint_v they_o out_o too_o favourable_o and_o fair_a but_o i_o beg_v of_o he_o for_o the_o love_n of_o our_o lord_n that_o he_o will_v not_o once_o think_v of_o make_v i_o diminish_v my_o fault_n because_o the_o magnificence_n of_o almighty_a god_n be_v to_o be_v discern_v thereby_o and_o how_o much_o he_o be_v please_v to_o suffer_v and_o endure_v from_o a_o soul_n let_v he_o be_v bless_v for_o ever_o and_o let_v it_o also_o please_v his_o divine_a majesty_n that_o he_o may_v rather_o consume_v i_o quite_o then_o that_o i_o shall_v ever_o leave_v to_o love_v he_o more_o the_o six_o chapter_n she_o treat_v of_o how_o much_o she_o owe_v our_o b._n lord_n for_o his_o give_v she_o conformity_n to_o his_o holy_a will_n in_o so_o great_a affliction_n and_o how_o she_o take_v the_o glorious_a s._n joseph_n for_o her_o intercessor_n and_o how_o advantageous_a that_o devotion_n prove_v to_o be_v i_o remain_v during_o those_o four_o day_n of_o agony_n or_o trance_n in_o such_o state_n that_o only_o our_o b._n lord_n be_v able_a to_o know_v the_o unsufferable_a torment_n which_o i_o feel_v in_o myself_o my_o tongue_n be_v deep_o bite_v by_o i_o in_o many_o place_n my_o throat_n with_o have_v take_v nothing_o and_o by_o reason_n also_o of_o my_o very_a great_a weakness_n can_v not_o swallow_v so_o much_o as_o a_o drop_n of_o water_n without_o choke_v i_o thought_n i_o be_v total_o disjoint_v and_o my_o head_n in_o extreme_a disorder_n i_o be_v also_o as_o it_o be_v all_o roll_a up_o and_o contract_v as_o if_o i_o have_v be_v a_o bottom_n of_o packthridd_n for_o in_o this_o do_v the_o torment_n of_o those_o day_n fix_v themselves_o without_o my_o be_v able_a once_o to_o stir_v either_o hand_n or_o foot_n arm_n or_o head_n unless_o they_o move_v i_o any_o more_o then_o as_o if_o i_o have_v be_v dead_a only_o i_o think_v i_o be_v able_a to_o wag_n one_o single_v finger_fw-la of_o my_o right_a hand_n now_o for_o any_o body_n to_o touch_v i_o in_o any_o kind_n there_o be_v no_o mean_n at_o all_o for_o my_o whole_a person_n be_v so_o affect_v and_o afflict_a as_o that_o there_o be_v no_o endure_v to_o have_v it_o touch_v in_o a_o sheet_n they_o will_v be_v remove_v i_o now_o and_o then_o according_a to_o the_o occasion_n with_o one_o at_o one_o end_n thereof_o &_o another_o at_o the_o other_o and_o this_o last_v till_o easter_n only_o this_o i_o have_v by_o way_n of_o ease_n that_o if_o i_o be_v not_o approach_v and_o touch_v these_o torment_n will_v be_v cease_v many_o time_n and_o then_o upon_o the_o account_n of_o my_o be_v in_o less_o pain_n i_o be_v content_a to_o affirm_v myself_o to_o be_v well_o but_o indeed_o i_o be_v much_o afraid_a lest_o my_o patience_n shall_v begin_v to_o fail_v i_o and_o therefore_o i_o be_v not_o a_o little_a please_v to_o find_v myself_o without_o those_o sharp_a and_o continual_a torment_n though_o yet_o i_o have_v they_o after_o a_o unsupportable_a manner_n together_o with_o a_o very_a great_a detestation_n of_o food_n whilst_o i_o have_v those_o fierce_a cold_n which_o indeed_o

and_o now_o it_o seem_v to_o i_o that_o our_o lord_n have_v declare_v these_o state_n of_o prayer_n wherein_o the_o soul_n may_v discern_v herself_o as_o far_o as_o she_o can_v be_v give_v to_o be_v understand_v here_o and_o your_o reverence_n shall_v do_v well_o to_o confer_v about_o it_o with_o some_o such_o spiritual_a person_n who_o may_v be_v learn_v as_o shall_v have_v arrive_v thus_o far_o and_o if_o he_o tell_v you_o that_o all_o be_v well_o you_o may_v conceive_v that_o god_n have_v say_v it_o to_o you_o and_o esteem_v it_o as_o a_o great_a benefit_n from_o his_o divine_a majesty_n for_o you_o will_v in_o tract_n of_o time_n rejoice_v as_o i_o have_v say_v very_o much_o to_o understand_v in_o clear_a manner_n what_o it_o be_v though_o now_o whilst_o you_o have_v the_o grace_n to_o enjoy_v it_o he_o allow_v you_o not_o the_o favour_n to_o understand_v it_o so_o but_o as_o his_o divine_a majesty_n have_v give_v you_o the_o first_o part_n which_o be_v the_o enjoy_n so_o you_o will_v afterward_o perhaps_o by_o your_o knowledge_n and_o learning_n come_v also_o to_o understand_v it_o by_o this_o mean_n let_v he_o be_v adore_v and_o praise_v for_o the_o eternity_n of_o all_o eternity_n amen_n the_o eighteen_o chapter_n she_o treat_v of_o the_o four_o degree_n of_o prayer_n she_o begin_v here_o to_o declare_v in_o excellent_a manner_n the_o great_a dignity_n to_o which_o our_o lord_n advance_v that_o soul_n which_o be_v exalt_v to_o this_o state_n it_o serve_v to_o animate_v man_n much_o to_o endeavour_v that_o they_o may_v arrive_v to_o so_o high_a a_o condition_n since_o it_o may_v be_v obtain_v in_o this_o world_n through_o the_o goodness_n of_o our_o lord_n though_o it_o can_v be_v deserve_v let_v this_o be_v read_v with_o consideration_n and_o care_n i_o beseech_v our_o lord_n that_o he_o will_v teach_v i_o how_o to_o use_v some_o word_n and_o way_n of_o speech_n which_o may_v enable_v i_o to_o say_v somewhat_o of_o this_o four_o water_n for_o i_o well_o discern_v that_o i_o have_v need_n enough_o of_o his_o favour_n herein_o even_o yet_o more_o than_o i_o have_v in_o that_o of_o the_o last_o because_o in_o that_o the_o soul_n do_v find_v herself_o not_o to_o be_v whole_o dead_a and_o so_o we_o may_v very_o well_o say_v that_o she_o be_v not_o dead_a because_o she_o remain_v still_o in_o the_o world_n but_o still_o as_o i_o affirm_v she_o have_v sufficient_a understanding_n to_o know_v that_o she_o be_v still_o here_o and_o that_o she_o find_v the_o solitude_n wherein_o she_o be_v &_o serve_v herself_o to_o some_o proportion_n of_o the_o exterior_a at_o least_o so_o far_o as_o by_o outward_a sign_n to_o give_v that_o which_o she_o feel_v to_o be_v understand_v in_o all_o that_o kind_n of_o prayer_n and_o in_o the_o manner_n also_o of_o it_o which_o have_v be_v describe_v the_o gardener_n labour_v to_o some_o proportion_n though_o yet_o in_o the_o prayer_n of_o these_o latter_a kind_n his_o labour_n go_v accompany_v with_o so_o much_o joy_n and_o such_o a_o happy_a kind_n of_o ease_n as_o that_o for_o his_o part_n he_o find_v no_o trouble_n at_o all_o in_o it_o for_o he_o consider_v it_o not_o as_o trouble_n but_o as_o glory_n and_o he_o will_v be_v glad_a that_o it_o may_v never_o end_v but_o in_o this_o four_o degree_n or_o kind_n of_o prayer_n there_o be_v no_o suffer_v leave_v at_o all_o but_o only_o enjoy_n though_o yet_o without_o any_o distinct_a particular_a understanding_n of_o what_o be_v enjoy_v he_o know_v well_o enough_o that_o a_o certain_a good_a be_v enjoy_v wherein_o all_o good_a thing_n be_v contain_v and_o shutup_a but_o yet_o this_o good_a be_v not_o total_o comprehend_v by_o he_o all_o the_o sense_n be_v take_v up_o upon_o the_o find_n and_o feel_v of_o this_o joy_n in_o such_o sort_n as_o no_o one_o of_o they_o be_v so_o dis-employed_n as_o that_o it_o can_v possible_o attend_v to_o any_o thing_n else_o either_o in_o the_o exterior_a or_o interior_a way_n before_o a_o certain_a leave_n or_o liberty_n be_v give_v to_o these_o power_n that_o they_o may_v be_v able_a to_o make_v some_o kind_n of_o demonstration_n of_o the_o great_a joy_n they_o feel_v but_o here_o the_o soul_n enjoy_v much_o more_o beyond_o comparison_n and_o can_v give_v herself_o also_o to_o be_v understand_v much_o less_o because_o there_o be_v no_o mean_n leave_v in_o the_o body_n nor_o yet_o have_v the_o soul_n any_o at_o all_o wherewith_o to_o communicate_v that_o joy_n but_o all_o thing_n will_v then_o be_v disturbance_n and_o even_o torment_v to_o she_o yea_o and_o distraction_n from_o the_o entirenes_n of_o her_o sweet_a repose_n i_o say_v the_o soul_n be_v no_o way_n able_a to_o communicate_v the_o joy_n she_o have_v if_o indeed_o there_o be_v a_o absolute_a and_o entire_a union_n of_o all_o the_o three_o power_n together_o for_o as_o long_o as_o that_o union_n last_v and_o that_o also_o if_o she_o be_v able_a to_o communicate_v it_o i_o say_v there_o be_v no_o absolute_a union_n in_o what_o manner_n this_o thing_n happen_v which_o they_o call_v union_n and_o what_o the_o thing_n also_o be_v i_o be_o not_o able_a to_o give_v to_o be_v understand_v it_o be_v declare_v in_o that_o which_o they_o call_v mystical_a theology_n but_o as_o for_o i_o i_o be_o not_o able_a so_o much_o as_o to_o name_v even_o the_o term_n nor_o do_v i_o know_v what_o that_o be_v which_o be_v call_v mind_n nor_o the_o difference_n between_o mind_n and_o soul_n nor_o what_o also_o be_v spirit_n for_o to_o i_o all_o these_o several_a thing_n seem_v to_o be_v but_o one_o though_o yet_o the_o soul_n now_o and_o then_o spring-up_a even_o out_o of_o herself_o as_o if_o it_o be_v a_o kind_n of_o fire_n which_o be_v burn_v up_o in_o a_o flame_n and_o sometime_o this_o fire_n increase_v with_o a_o kind_n of_o impetuositie_n now_o this_o flame_n rise_v very_o much_o high_a then_o do_v the_o fire_n but_o yet_o still_o notwithstanding_o all_o that_o it_o be_v no_o distinct_a thing_n from_o the_o very_a fire_n but_o it_o be_v the_o flame_n itself_o which_o still_o be_v in_o the_o fire_n your_o reverence_n will_v understand_v this_o matter_n by_o your_o learning_n but_o as_o for_o i_o i_o know_v not_o how_o to_o declare_v it_o better_o for_o my_o part_n the_o thing_n which_o i_o pretend_v to_o declare_v be_v what_o the_o soul_n find_v and_o feel_v when_o it_o be_v in_o this_o divine_a union_n for_o as_o for_o the_o know_v what_o a_o union_n in_o general_a be_v it_o be_v every_o where_o understand_v well_o enough_o to_o be_v when_o two_o several_a thing_n become_v one_o o_o my_o dear_a lord_n and_o how_o good_a be_v thou_o bless_a be_v thou_o for_o ever_o and_o let_v all_o thing_n praise_v thou_o o_o my_o god_n who_o have_v be_v please_v to_o love_v we_o in_o such_o sort_n as_o that_o we_o may_v be_v able_a to_o speak_v with_o truth_n of_o this_o kind_n of_o communication_n which_o thou_o vouchsafe_v to_o hold_v with_o soul_n even_o in_o this_o bannishment_n of_o we_o which_o although_o they_o be_v never_o so_o holy_a and_o good_a yet_o this_o latitude_n of_o liberality_n and_o magnificence_n of_o thou_o be_v great_a in_o proceed_v with_o they_o after_o this_o manner_n but_o in_o fine_a it_o be_v all_o thy_o own_o majesty_n and_o greatness_n who_o give_v after_o the_o rate_n of_o what_o thou_o be_v o_o infinite_a latitude_n of_o bounty_n and_o how_o magnificent_a be_v thy_o work_n they_o be_v able_a even_o to_o amaze_v any_o such_o person_n as_o have_v not_o his_o understanding_n whole_o employ_v upon_o the_o thing_n of_o this_o world_n and_o who_o have_v leave_v himself_o no_o room_n both_o for_o the_o know_v and_o consider_v such_o thing_n as_o be_v real_a truth_n but_o now_o that_o thou_o shall_v be_v please_v to_o fasten_v such_o sovereign_n favour_n upon_o soul_n which_o have_v offend_v thou_o so_o much_o do_v real_o even_o make_v a_o end_n of_o my_o very_a understanding_n and_o when_o once_o i_o come_v to_o consider_v of_o this_o proceed_n of_o thou_o i_o be_o even_o unable_a to_o pass_v on_o any_o further_a but_o indeed_o how_o can_v any_o creature_n go_v any_o whither_o in_o this_o case_n which_o shall_v not_o be_v a_o mere_a come_n back_o again_o since_o no_o soul_n can_v ever_o know_v how_o to_o give_v thou_o any_o tolerable_a thanks_n for_o so_o incomparable_a favour_n as_o for_o i_o i_o help_v myself_o sometime_o with_o speak_v certain_a impertinency_n which_o have_v neither_o head_n nor_o foot_n and_o it_o often_o happen_v to_o i_o both_o when_o i_o come_v from_o receive_v these_o favour_n and_o when_o also_o our_o lord_n be_v beginning_n to_o impart_v they_o for_o as_o for_o the_o very_a time_n when_o i_o be_o enjoy_v they_o i_o

the_o matter_n be_v that_o when_o these_o thing_n be_v of_o the_o devil_n it_o seem_v as_o if_o all_o kind_n of_o benediction_n do_v hide_v itself_o and_o even_o fly_v from_o the_o soul_n so_o untoward_a and_o unquiet_a and_o in_o so_o great_a disorder_n do_v she_o remain_v without_o any_o one_o good_a effect_n at_o all_o for_o though_o there_o may_v be_v a_o seem_a as_o if_o there_o be_v a_o plant_n of_o good_a desire_n in_o she_o yet_o they_o be_v not_o effectual_a or_o strong_a the_o humility_n which_o he_o leave_v behind_o he_o be_v false_a unquiet_a and_o without_o any_o suavitie_n at_o all_o and_o i_o think_v this_o may_v be_v easy_o enough_o understand_v by_o any_o creature_n who_o have_v experience_n of_o what_o a_o good_a spirit_n be_v but_o yet_o the_o devil_n be_v very_o able_a to_o play_v many_o trick_n and_o therefore_o there_o be_v nothing_o of_o this_o kind_n so_o certain_a and_o clear_a but_o that_o somewhat_o may_v still_o be_v fear_v at_o his_o hand_n and_o so_o it_o will_v ever_o be_v well_o do_v to_o proceed_v with_o caution_n and_o advice_n and_o to_o have_v a_o director_n who_o may_v be_v learned_a and_o to_o conceal_v nothing_o from_o he_o and_o so_o the_o party_n shall_v be_v sure_a to_o take_v no_o hurt_n though_o yet_o i_o have_v have_v my_o part_n thereof_o through_o the_o excessive_a fear_n to_o which_o some_o of_o they_o be_v subject_a in_o particular_a it_o happen_v to_o i_o once_o that_o many_o person_n meet_v together_o in_o who_o i_o have_v belief_n enough_o and_o there_o be_v reason_n that_o i_o shall_v have_v it_o and_o though_o i_o proceed_v herein_o after_o the_o manner_n of_o entire_a confidence_n but_o with_o one_o yet_o when_o he_o command_v i_o i_o speak_v also_o with_o other_o they_o treat_v much_o about_o find_v remedy_n for_o all_o my_o inconvenience_n for_o they_o love_v i_o very_o much_o and_o i_o doubt_v that_o i_o may_v perhaps_o be_v deceive_v and_o i_o be_v also_o subject_a to_o extreme_a fear_n whensoever_o i_o be_v not_o in_o prayer_n for_o when_o i_o be_v and_o when_o our_o lord_n vouchsafe_v to_o do_v i_o any_o favour_n therein_o i_o grow_v present_o into_o good_a assurance_n and_o i_o think_v they_o be_v five_o or_o six_o of_o they_o and_o they_o be_v all_o great_a servant_n of_o almighty_a god_n but_o then_o my_o ghostly_a father_n tell_v i_o that_o they_o encounter_n all_o have_v grow_v to_o resolve_v that_o it_o be_v the_o devil_n and_o direct_v i_o not_o to_o communicate_v so_o often_o and_o that_o i_o shall_v endeavour_v to_o divert_v myself_o in_o such_o sort_n as_o that_o i_o may_v not_o be_v much_o alone_a now_o i_o be_v extreme_o timorous_a in_o these_o case_n as_o i_o have_v say_v and_o the_o palpitation_n of_o my_o hart_n help_v i_o on_o therein_o so_o that_o i_o have_v not_o the_o courage_n many_o time_n to_o be_v alone_o in_o my_o room_n even_o by_o day_n but_o when_o i_o find_v what_o so_o many_o of_o they_o affirm_v which_o yet_o i_o can_v by_o no_o mean_n believe_v i_o grow_v to_o have_v a_o extreme_a scruple_n as_o conceave_a that_o this_o be_v a_o sign_n of_o very_o little_a humility_n in_o myself_o since_o they_o all_o be_v incomparable_o of_o better_a life_n than_o i_o and_o beside_o all_o this_o they_o be_v learn_v and_o in_o fine_a why_o shall_v not_o i_o believe_v they_o i_o force_v myself_o the_o best_a i_o can_v to_o do_v it_o and_o i_o think_v much_o of_o my_o own_o wicked_a life_n and_o how_o consider_v that_o it_o may_v be_v likely_a enough_o to_o be_v true_a which_o they_o say_v upon_o this_o i_o go_v into_o the_o church_n with_o this_o affliction_n and_o pass_v on_o into_o a_o oratory_n have_v forbear_v many_o day_n to_o communicate_v and_o avoid_v also_o to_o be_v alone_o which_o yet_o have_v former_o be_v my_o total_a comfort_n and_o all_o this_o without_o have_v one_o person_n with_o who_o i_o may_v treat_v for_o they_o be_v all_o against_o i_o nay_o some_o of_o they_o i_o think_v make_v themselves_o as_o it_o be_v merry_a with_o i_o whensoever_o i_o will_v be_v tell_v they_o what_o i_o think_v and_o other_o will_v be_v advise_v my_o ghostly_a father_n to_o take_v heed_n of_o i_o nay_o some_o will_v go_v so_o far_o as_o to_o say_v that_o it_o be_v clear_o the_o devil_n only_o my_o ghostly_a father_n though_o he_o conform_v himself_o with_o those_o other_o as_o i_o grow_v to_o understand_v afterward_o so_o far_o as_o to_o have_v i_o try_v do_v ever_o give_v i_o comfort_n and_o tell_v i_o that_o though_o it_o shall_v be_v the_o devil_n yet_o i_o not_o offend_v almighty_a god_n he_o will_v be_v able_a to_o do_v i_o no_o hurt_n that_o the_o difficulty_n will_v grow_v to_o be_v remove_v that_o in_o the_o mean_a time_n i_o shall_v pray_v hearty_o to_o almighty_a god_n and_o that_o he_o and_o all_o those_o other_o and_o many_o more_o also_o than_o they_o will_v do_v the_o like_a and_o all_o my_o prayer_n and_o they_o who_o i_o conceive_v to_o be_v the_o servant_n of_o almighty_a god_n aim_v at_o this_o that_o his_o divine_a majesty_n will_v be_v please_v to_o carry_v i_o on_o by_o some_o other_o way_n and_o this_o kind_n of_o make_v continual_a intercession_n to_o our_o lord_n may_v last_v about_o a_o matter_n of_o some_o two_o year_n as_o for_o i_o i_o be_v capable_a of_o no_o comfort_n when_o i_o think_v once_o that_o it_o be_v possible_a for_o the_o devil_n to_o be_v so_o often_o speak_v to_o i_o and_o in_o i_o but_o in_o regard_n that_o now_o i_o employ_v no_o more_o hour_n of_o my_o time_n in_o solitude_n for_o prayer_n our_o lord_n give_v i_o recollection_n even_o when_o i_o be_v in_o conversation_n and_o so_o as_o that_o i_o be_v not_o able_a to_o avoid_v it_o and_o he_o say_v such_o thing_n to_o i_o as_o he_o please_v and_o i_o in_o the_o mean_a time_n be_v trouble_v that_o i_o be_v fain_o to_o hear_v he_o but_o once_o be_v all_o alone_a without_o have_v any_o creature_n by_o i_o upon_o who_o to_o ease_v myself_o i_o can_v neither_o pray_v nor_o read_v but_o be_v like_o a_o person_n even_o all_o amaze_v at_o so_o great_a tribulation_n as_o i_o endure_v and_o with_o so_o much_o fear_n to_o consider_v whether_o the_o devil_n be_v to_o have_v power_n to_o circumvent_v i_o in_o this_o manner_n or_o no._n and_o be_v all_o disorder_a and_o even_o tire_v without_o know_v what_o to_o do_v with_o myself_o for_o i_o have_v see_v myself_o in_o this_o affliction_n and_o that_o very_a often_o though_o yet_o never_o to_o my_o think_n in_o so_o great_a extremity_n as_o then_o i_o remain_v four_o or_o five_o hour_n after_o this_o manner_n for_o there_o seem_v to_o be_v no_o comfort_n at_o all_o for_o i_o either_o upon_o earth_n or_o yet_o from_o heaven_n but_o our_o lord_n leave_v i_o so_o in_o sufferance_n and_o under_o the_o fear_n also_o of_o a_o thousand_o danger_n o_o my_o dear_a lord_n and_o how_o true_o be_v thou_o a_o true_a friend_n and_o how_o powerful_a be_v thou_o to_o do_v what_o thou_o will_v and_o do_v never_o leave_v to_o love_v they_o who_o love_v thou_o if_o they_o love_v thou_o indeed_o let_v all_o thing_n praise_v thou_o o_o thou_o lord_n of_o the_o whole_a world_n and_o o_o that_o i_o can_v cry_v out_o loud_a enough_o through_o that_o whole_a world_n to_o declare_v how_o faithful_a and_o true_a thou_o be_v to_o thy_o friend_n all_o other_o thing_n grow_v to_o fail_v we_o but_o thou_o who_o be_v the_o lord_n of_o they_o all_o do_v never_o fail_v and_o it_o be_v little_a also_o which_o thou_o permit_v such_o as_o love_v thou_o to_o suffer_v for_o thou_o o_o my_o dear_a lord_n how_o delicate_o and_o how_o smooth_o yea_o and_o how_o savoury_o also_o do_v thou_o know_v how_o to_o treat_v such_o soul_n o_o that_o a_o creature_n who_o i_o know_v have_v be_v so_o happy_a as_o never_o to_o have_v detain_v herself_o upon_o love_v any_o other_o thing_n then_o thou_o it_o seem_v indeed_o o_o lord_n that_o sometime_o thou_o trye_v such_o as_o love_v thou_o with_o a_o kind_n of_o rigour_n to_o the_o end_n that_o by_o that_o extremity_n of_o trouble_n they_o may_v afterward_o come_v the_o better_o to_o find_v and_o feel_v thereby_o the_o great_a excess_n of_o thy_o love_n o_o my_o god_n that_o i_o have_v understanding_n and_o learning_n yea_o and_o new_a word_n so_o to_o be_v able_a to_o exaggerate_v thy_o work_n according_a to_o that_o intelligence_n which_o my_o soul_n have_v thereof_o all_o this_o be_v want_v to_o i_o o_o my_o dear_a lord_n but_o yet_o if_o thou_o forsake_v i_o not_o i_o will_v never_o be_v want_v to_o thou_o let_v all_o the_o learned_a man_n of_o the_o world_n rise-up_a against_o

say_v very_o much_o more_o of_o he_o if_o i_o fear_v not_o that_o your_o reverence_n will_v ask_v i_o why_o i_o put_v myself_o upon_o this_o kind_n of_o discourse_n yea_o and_o i_o have_v not_o write_v even_o this_o little_a without_o some_o fear_n and_o therefore_o i_o say_v no_o more_o but_o only_o that_o he_o die_v as_o he_o live_v in_o preach_v and_o admonish_v the_o religious_a of_o his_o order_n and_o when_o he_o see_v that_o he_o be_v even_o come_v to_o a_o end_n he_o say_v the_o psalm_n of_o laetatus_fw-la sum_fw-la in_o he_o quae_fw-la dicta_fw-la sunt_fw-la mihi_fw-la in_fw-la domum_fw-la domini_fw-la ibimus_fw-la i_o have_v rejoice_v in_o that_o which_o they_o have_v say_v to_o i_o we_o will_v go_v into_o the_o house_n of_o our_o lord_n and_o so_o stoop_v dough_n and_o kneeling_z he_o die_v after_o this_o our_o lord_n have_v be_v please_v to_o let_v i_o enjoy_v more_o of_o he_o now_o than_o i_o do_v when_o he_o be_v alive_a for_o he_o give_v i_o counsel_n in_o diverse_a occasion_n and_o i_o have_v see_v he_o many_o time_n in_o extreme_a glory_n the_o first_o time_n that_o he_o appear_v to_o i_o he_o say_v o_o how_o happy_a penance_n be_v that_o which_o have_v obtain_v so_o high_a a_o reward_n with_o many_o other_o thing_n of_o that_o nature_n a_o year_n before_o he_o die_v he_o appear_v to_o i_o when_o we_o be_v absent_a from_o one_o another_o and_o it_o be_v declare_v to_o i_o that_o he_o shall_v die_v and_o i_o advertise_v he_o thereof_o whilst_o he_o be_v distant_a some_o league_n from_o i_o at_o the_o instant_n when_o he_o expire_v afterward_o he_o also_o appear_v to_o i_o and_o tell_v i_o that_o he_o be_v then_o go_v to_o rest_n i_o do_v not_o believe_v the_o thing_n but_o yet_o i_o relate_v it_o to_o some_o and_o within_o eight_o day_n after_o the_o news_n come_v to_o we_o that_o he_o be_v dead_a or_o rather_o to_o speak_v more_o proper_o that_o he_o have_v then_o begin_v to_o live_v for_o ever_o and_o here_o behold_v how_o the_o severe_a penance_n of_o his_o life_n be_v finish_v in_o so_o large_a a_o proportion_n of_o glory_n that_o i_o think_v he_o be_v of_o more_o comfort_n to_o i_o now_o then_o when_o he_o be_v here_o our_o lord_n tell_v i_o once_o that_o man_n shall_v not_o ask_v any_o thing_n in_o his_o name_n wherein_o he_o will_v not_o hear_v they_o and_o myself_o have_v recommend_v many_o to_o he_o to_o the_o end_n that_o he_o may_v beg_v they_o of_o our_o lord_n and_o i_o have_v find_v they_o grant_v let_v the_o same_o lord_n be_v bless_v for_o ever_o amen_o but_o what_o a_o talk_a have_v i_o keep_v here_o that_o so_o i_o may_v stir_v your_o reverence_n up_o not_o to_o make_v the_o least_o account_n at_o all_o of_o any_o thing_n in_o this_o world_n as_o if_o you_o know_v not_o this_o already_o or_o as_o if_o you_o be_v not_o resolve_v to_o leave_v it_o all_o or_o rather_o as_o if_o you_o have_v not_o already_o put_v all_o this_o in_o execution_n but_o i_o see_v such_o a_o deal_n of_o perdition_n in_o the_o world_n that_o howsoever_o my_o say_n it_o serve_v for_o nothing_o but_o only_o to_o weary_v i_o by_o write_v it_o yet_o withal_o it_o be_v a_o kind_n of_o unweary_v and_o ease_v for_o i_o to_o do_v it_o and_o so_o all_o that_o which_o i_o be_o say_v prove_v to_o be_v against_o myself_o our_o bless_a lord_n forgive_v i_o whereinsoever_o i_o may_v have_v offend_v concern_v this_o particular_a and_o i_o beseech_v your_o reverence_n also_o to_o pardon_v i_o for_o incommodate_v you_o to_o little_a purpose_n but_o it_o seem_v that_o i_o will_v needs_o make_v you_o do_v pennance_n for_o that_o wherein_o myself_o commit_v the_o sinne._n the_o eight_o and_o twenty_o chapter_n she_o treat_v of_o the_o great_a favour_n which_o our_o lord_n do_v she_o and_o how_o he_o appear_v to_o she_o the_o first_o time_n she_o declare_v that_o it_o be_v a_o vision_n which_o show_v itself_o by_o way_n of_o the_o imagination_n and_o discover_v the_o great_a effect_n and_o testimony_n which_o such_o thing_n leave_v in_o the_o soul_n when_o they_o be_v of_o almighty_a god_n this_o chapter_n be_v of_o great_a instruction_n and_o deserve_v to_o be_v note_v much_o but_o now_o to_o return_v to_o our_o purpose_n i_o have_v that_o kind_n of_o vision_n aforesaid_a for_o some_o few_o day_n after_o a_o kind_n of_o continual_a manner_n and_o it_o be_v so_o useful_a to_o i_o that_o i_o never_o go_v then_o out_o of_o prayer_n and_o beside_o whatsoever_o i_o then_o happen_v to_o do_v i_o procure_v it_o may_v be_v in_o such_o sort_n as_o that_o it_o shall_v not_o displease_v he_o who_o i_o evident_o see_v to_o be_v there_o as_o a_o witness_n of_o all_o that_o which_o pass_v and_o though_o it_o be_v very_o true_a that_o sometime_o i_o have_v some_o fear_n through_o the_o multitude_n of_o those_o thing_n which_o they_o will_v be_v say_v to_o i_o yet_o that_o trouble_n will_v not_o use_v to_o last_v long_o because_o i_o be_v well_o assure_v and_o satisfy_v by_o our_o lord_n himself_o be_v one_o day_n in_o prayer_n it_o please_v our_o bless_a lord_n to_o show_v i_o his_o hand_n and_o nothing_o but_o his_o hand_n and_o they_o have_v such_o a_o excess_n and_o height_n of_o beauty_n in_o they_o as_o i_o be_o not_o able_a by_o any_o mean_n to_o express_v but_o this_o strike_v i_o into_o a_o very_a great_a fear_n as_o indeed_o every_o novelty_n be_v wont_a to_o bring_v i_o in_o the_o beginning_n of_o any_o supernatural_a favour_n which_o our_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o do_v i_o within_o few_o day_n after_o this_o i_o see_v also_o his_o divine_a face_n which_o do_v total_o i_o think_v leave_v i_o absorb_v for_o my_o part_n i_o can_v not_o understand_v why_o our_o bless_a lord_n show_v himself_o to_o i_o so_o by_o little_a and_o little_a since_o afterward_o he_o resolve_v to_o do_v i_o the_o favour_n that_o i_o may_v see_v he_o all_z till_o i_o come_v to_o understand_v that_o our_o lord_n go_v guide_v and_o conduct_v i_o according_a to_o my_o natural_a weakness_n and_o let_v he_o be_v eternal_o bless_v for_o it_o since_o so_o great_a and_o high_a glory_n as_o that_o all_o together_o encounter_v with_o a_o subject_n which_o be_v so_o base_a and_o wicked_a as_o myself_o will_v never_o have_v be_v endure_v and_o thus_o our_o bless_a and_o merciful_a lord_n go_v so_o dispose_v of_o thing_n as_o i_o have_v here_o express_v your_o reverence_n will_v perhaps_o imagine_v that_o there_o be_v no_o need_n of_o much_o courage_n and_o strength_n of_o mind_n for_o the_o behold_n of_o a_o face_n and_o hand_n which_o be_v so_o beautiful_a but_o yet_o it_o be_v to_o be_v understand_v that_o such_o body_n as_o be_v compatible_a glorify_v have_v so_o very_o great_a a_o height_n of_o beauty_n that_o the_o glory_n which_o they_o bring_v to_o behold_v a_o thing_n so_o delightful_a and_o supernatural_a do_v even_o as_o it_o be_v exceed_v our_o capacity_n and_o so_o consequent_o i_o grow_v to_o be_v all_o in_o much_o disorder_n and_o trouble_v though_o yet_o afterward_o i_o remain_v with_o certainty_n and_o security_n and_o such_o other_o effect_n as_o that_o all_o fear_n do_v quick_o vanish_v upon_o a_o certain_a day_n of_o s._n paul_n whilst_o i_o be_v hear_v mass_n the_o whole_a humanity_n of_o christ_n our_o lord_n be_v represent_v to_o i_o as_o it_o use_v to_o be_v paint_v after_o the_o resurrection_n but_o with_o so_o great_a beauty_n and_o majesty_n as_o i_o write_v once_o to_o your_o reverence_n when_o you_o command_v i_o so_o express_o to_o do_v it_o and_o i_o remember_v that_o i_o be_v trouble_v enough_o at_o it_o for_o in_o fine_a those_o thing_n can_v be_v do_v without_o a_o body_n be_v even_o annihilate_v herself_o who_o do_v they_o but_o yet_o howsoever_o i_o do_v what_o you_o command_v i_o the_o best_a i_o can_v and_o therefore_o i_o need_v not_o take_v care_n to_o repeat_v it_o so_o parparticular_o now_o only_o i_o will_v declare_v thus_o much_o that_o if_o there_o be_v no_o other_o thing_n even_o in_o heaven_n to_o give_v delight_n and_o gust_n to_o our_o sight_n but_o only_o the_o excessive_a beauty_n of_o glorified_a body_n that_o felicity_n will_v be_v even_o immense_a but_o especial_o to_o behold_v that_o most_o sacred_a humanity_n of_o jesus_n christ_n our_o lord_n must_v be_v matter_n of_o incomparable_a glory_n for_o since_o the_o majesty_n thereof_o be_v discover_v to_o be_v so_o great_a whensoever_o it_o be_v represent_v to_o we_o here_o according_a to_o that_o proportion_n where_o of_o our_o misery_n in_o this_o mortal_a life_n of_o we_o be_v capable_a what_o do_v we_o think_v it_o will_v then_o occur_v to_o be_v when_o we_o shall_v so_o very_o

away_o as_o much_o as_o it_o have_v touch_v within_o i_o and_o leave_v all_o that_o which_o remain_v whole_o inflame_v with_o a_o great_a love_n of_o almighty_a god_n the_o pain_n of_o it_o be_v so_o excessive_a that_o it_o force_v i_o to_o utter_v those_o groan_n and_o the_o suavitie_n which_o that_o extremity_n of_o pain_n give_v be_v also_o so_o very_o excessive_a that_o there_o be_v no_o desire_v at_o all_o to_o be_v ride_v of_o it_o nor_o can_v the_o soul_n then_o receive_v any_o contentment_n at_o all_o in_o less_o than_o god_n almighty_a himself_o this_o be_v no_o corporal_n but_o a_o spiritual_a pain_n though_o yet_o the_o body_n do_v not_o fail_v to_o participate_v some_o part_n thereof_o yea_o and_o that_o not_o a_o little_a and_o it_o be_v such_o a_o dear_a delightful_a kind_n of_o intercourse_n which_o pass_v here_o between_o the_o soul_n and_o almighty_a god_n as_o i_o beseech_v he_o of_o his_o infinite_a goodness_n that_o he_o will_v give_v some_o touch_n or_o taste_v of_o it_o to_o whosoever_o shall_v believe_v that_o i_o lie_v during_o the_o time_n when_o i_o be_v in_o this_o state_n i_o go_v up_o and_o down_o that_o world_n like_o a_o odd_a kind_n of_o transport_a fool_n neither_o care_v i_o either_o to_o see_v any_o thing_n or_o to_o speak_v but_o content_v myself_o to_o consume_v with_o burning-up_a in_o my_o pain_n which_o be_v to_o be_v the_o great_a glory_n for_o i_o that_o this_o whole_a world_n can_v afford_v in_o this_o state_n be_v i_o now_o and_o then_o when_o our_o bless_a lord_n be_v please_v that_o these_o so_o very_o great_a rapt_n shall_v come_v upon_o i_o which_o i_o be_v not_o able_a sometime_o to_o resist_v even_o when_o i_o be_v in_o presence_n of_o secular_a people_n and_o so_o they_o grow_v to_o be_v public_a and_o this_o give_v i_o a_o very_a great_a deal_n of_o trouble_n but_o since_o the_o time_n that_o i_o be_o grow_v to_o have_v these_o rapt_n i_o feel_v not_o this_o pain_n so_o much_o as_o that_o other_o whereof_o i_o speak_v before_o though_o yet_o i_o can_v call_v the_o chapter_n to_o mind_n but_o that_o pain_n be_v different_a in_o many_o kind_n and_o of_o more_o value_n also_o than_o this_o or_o rather_o when_o this_o begin_v whereof_o i_o be_o speak_v in_o this_o place_n it_o seem_v that_o our_o lord_n do_v ravish_v and_o run_v away_o as_o it_o be_v with_o the_o soul_n and_o put_v she_o into_o extasis_fw-la out_o of_o hand_n and_o so_o no_o too_o i_o be_v leave_v for_o the_o let_v she_o feel_v any_o pain_n because_o instant_o the_o time_n of_o enjoy_v come_v in_o let_v he_o be_v bless_v for_o ever_o who_o vouchsafe_v to_o impart_v so_o high_a favour_n to_o a_o person_n who_o correspond_v with_o he_o so_o ill_o for_o so_o great_a benefit_n the_o thirty_o chapter_n she_o return_v to_o recount_v the_o course_n of_o her_o life_n and_o how_o our_o lord_n give_v remedy_n to_o many_o of_o her_o trouble_n by_o bring_v that_o holy_a man_n fray_n pedro_n de_fw-fr alcantara_n of_o the_o order_n of_o the_o glorious_a s._n francis_n to_o the_o place_n where_o she_o be_v and_o she_o declare_v the_o great_a temptation_n and_o inward_a trouble_n which_o sometime_o she_o endure_v but_o now_o when_o i_o come_v to_o observe_v the_o little_a or_o nothing_o which_o i_o be_v able_a to_o effect_v towards_o the_o endure_a of_o those_o so_o great_a impulse_n or_o impetuosity_n whereof_o i_o be_v speak_v i_o grow_v to_o be_v in_o great_a fear_n of_o have_v they_o for_o it_o be_v pass_v any_o power_n of_o i_o to_o understand_v how_o pain_n and_o joy_n may_v be_v possible_o able_a to_o consist_v together_o that_o corporal_a pain_n and_o spiritual_a joy_n can_v be_v compatible_a i_o know_v well_o may_v be_v possible_a enough_o but_o that_o so_o excessive_a a_o spiritual_a pain_n shall_v be_v compatible_a with_o so_o excessive_a a_o spiritual_a gust_n do_v put_v i_o half_o as_o it_o be_v out_o of_o my_o wit_n and_o still_o i_o do_v not_o give-ove_a to_o procure_v to_o resist_v the_o arrival_n thereof_o though_o yet_o i_o have_v so_o little_a power_n that_o way_n that_o sometime_o i_o grow_v weary_a even_o of_o the_o endeavour_n i_o defend_v myself_o by_o the_o cross_n and_o so_o procure_v to_o help_v myself_o by_o that_o mean_n from_o he_o who_o give_v we_o all_o defence_n and_o succour_n by_o the_o same_o cross_n i_o see_v that_o no_o creature_n understand_v i_o and_o this_o i_o understand_v very_o clear_o though_o yet_o i_o dare_v not_o say_v so_o to_o any_o body_n but_o my_o ghostly_a father_n for_o that_o indeed_o may_v have_v authorise_v they_o to_o say_v true_o that_o i_o want_v humility_n but_o our_o bless_a lord_n be_v please_v to_o recover_v i_o from_o a_o great_a part_n of_o my_o trouble_n yea_o and_o even_o at_o that_o time_n from_o it_o all_o by_o bring_v that_o bless_a man_n fray_n pedro_n de_fw-fr alcantara_n thither_o of_o who_o i_o make_v mention_v before_o when_o i_o speak_v somewhat_o of_o his_o great_a penance_n and_o now_o i_o also_o remember_v that_o among_o other_o thing_n i_o have_v be_v inform_v that_o for_o twenty_o year_n together_o he_o have_v wear_v upon_o his_o bare_a body_n a_o certain_a garment_n of_o latin_a in_o form_n of_o a_o hair_n cloth_n this_o man_n be_v the_o author_n of_o certain_a little_a treatise_n concern_v prayer_n write_v in_o spanish_a and_o they_o be_v now_o in_o the_o hand_n of_o many_o for_o he_o as_o be_v a_o person_n who_o have_v accustom_v himself_o much_o to_o that_o holy_a exercise_n write_v very_o profitable_o thereof_o for_o they_o who_o live_v in_o the_o observance_n of_o the_o first_o rule_n of_o the_o bless_a s._n francis_n according_a to_o the_o full_a rigour_n of_o the_o same_o when_o therefore_o a_o certain_a widow_n of_o who_o i_o speak_v else_o where_o who_o be_v a_o great_a servant_n of_o almighty_a god_n and_o a_o particular_a friend_n of_o i_o come_v to_o know_v that_o so_o great_a a_o man_n be_v there_o with_o i_o and_o know_v also_o the_o great_a necessity_n wherein_o i_o be_v as_o have_v be_v the_o witness_n of_o my_o affliction_n and_o have_v comfort_v i_o in_o several_a occasion_n for_o her_o faith_n be_v ever_o so_o great_a that_o she_o can_v never_o in_o fine_a believe_v but_o that_o it_o be_v the_o spirit_n of_o almighty_a god_n which_o all_o the_o rest_n will_v needs_o have_v to_o be_v the_o devil_n and_o consider_v also_o that_o she_o be_v a_o person_n of_o very_a good_a understanding_n and_o of_o great_a secrecy_n withal_o and_o one_o to_o who_o our_o lord_n vouchsafe_v to_o do_v great_a favour_n in_o prayer_n his_o divine_a majesty_n be_v please_v to_o give_v her_o knowledge_n of_o those_o thing_n whereof_o they_o who_o be_v learned_a be_v whole_o ignorant_a my_o ghostly_a father_n than_o give_v i_o leave_v that_o i_o may_v ease_v myself_o in_o some_o thing_n with_o she_o for_o she_o be_v capable_a many_o way_n to_o understand_v they_o for_o sometime_o it_o have_v come_v to_o her_o turn_n to_o enjoy_v even_o some_o of_o those_o very_a favour_n which_o our_o lord_n have_v also_o vouchsafe_v to_o afford_v i_o together_o with_o certain_a advertisment_n which_o he_o have_v also_o give_v she_o for_o the_o good_a of_o her_o soul_n but_o now_o as_o soon_o as_o fray_n pedro_n come_v to_o know_v of_o my_o design_n he_o do_v without_o say_v any_o thing_n to_o i_o desire_v and_o get_v leave_v of_o my_o provincial_n that_o i_o may_v remain_v with_o she_o in_o her_o house_n for_o a_o matter_n of_o some_o eight_o day_n and_o so_o both_o there_o and_o in_o several_a church_n i_o speak_v with_o he_o diverse_a time_n in_o that_o first_o occasion_n of_o my_o be_v there_o for_o i_o communicate_v my_o affair_n with_o he_o also_o afterward_o in_o sundry_a occasion_n at_o which_o time_n i_o give_v he_o likewise_o account_v of_o my_o life_n though_o yet_o but_o in_o a_o summarie_a way_n and_o of_o the_o manner_n of_o my_o proceed_n in_o prayer_n and_o this_o with_o the_o great_a claritie_n which_o i_o can_v possible_o use_v for_o this_o property_n i_o ever_o have_v to_o treat_v with_o all_o claritie_n and_o truth_n with_o they_o to_o who_o i_o impart_v my_o soul_n yea_o and_o i_o still_o desire_v that_o even_o the_o first_o motion_n of_o my_o hart_n may_v be_v make_v know_v to_o they_o and_o as_o for_o such_o thing_n as_o may_v be_v subject_a any_o way_n to_o suspicion_n or_o doubt_v i_o still_o be_v wont_a to_o argue_v they_o proceed_v against_o myself_o with_o the_o strong_a reason_n that_o i_o can_v bring_v so_o that_o i_o impart_v my_o soul_n to_o this_o father_n without_o any_o manner_n of_o duplicitie_n or_o disguise_n at_o all_o and_o i_o find_v that_o he_o understand_v i_o almost_o even_o at_o

to_o abuse_v and_o cozen_v so_o many_o good_a man_n and_o i_o seem_v to_o be_v so_o very_o wicked_a that_o i_o think_v all_o the_o mischief_n and_o heresy_n which_o have_v be_v raise_v and_o bring_v late_o into_o the_o world_n be_v but_o the_o fruit_n of_o my_o sin_n but_o this_o be_v a_o false_a kind_n of_o humility_n which_o the_o devil_n invent_v of_o purpose_n for_o my_o disquiet_n to_o try_v if_o he_o can_v bring_v my_o soul_n to_o despair_v and_o i_o know_v so_o well_o by_o experience_n that_o this_o be_v a_o trick_n of_o the_o devil_n that_o now_o when_o he_o find_v that_o i_o understand_v he_o he_o torment_v i_o not_o so_o often_o herein_o as_o he_o be_v wont_a the_o certainty_n of_o this_o truth_n be_v clear_o find_v by_o the_o restlessness_n and_o disquiet_v wherewith_o he_o begin_v and_o by_o the_o bussle_v which_o he_o keep_v in_o the_o soul_n all_o the_o while_o it_o last_v and_o by_o the_o obscurity_n and_o affliction_n which_o he_o bring_v to_o it_o and_o by_o the_o dryness_n and_o indisposition_n to_o prayer_n which_o he_o leave_v after_o it_o and_o in_o fine_a because_o it_o produce_v no_o good_a effect_n at_o all_o for_o he_o seem_v even_o to_o stifle_v the_o soul_n and_o to_o bind_v even_o the_o body_n also_o up_o that_o so_o it_o may_v be_v good_a for_o nothing_o whereas_o by_o true_a humility_n though_o the_o soul_n know_v itself_o to_o be_v wicked_a and_o be_v in_o pain_n to_o consider_v what_o we_o be_v and_o make_v we_o hold_v our_o sin_n to_o be_v as_o great_a and_o as_o great_o to_o be_v exaggerated_a as_o have_v be_v say_v and_o that_o they_o be_v feel_v indeed_o to_o be_v such_o yet_o come_v not_o this_o kind_n of_o sense_n with_o any_o tumultuous_a disorder_n nor_o do_v it_o disturb_v and_o vex_v the_o soul_n nor_o obscure_v she_o nor_o give_v dryness_n to_o she_o but_o rather_o it_o regales_fw-la she_o and_o behave_v itself_o in_o a_o very_a contrary_a way_n with_o gentleness_n with_o suavitie_n and_o with_o light_n she_o mind_n be_v trouble_v in_o some_o sort_n on_o the_o one_o side_n even_o for_o that_o she_o be_v comfort_v to_o see_v how_o great_a favour_n our_o lord_n impart_v to_o she_o in_o let_v she_o feel_v that_o pain_n and_o to_o consider_v how_o well_o employ_v it_o be_v and_o the_o sorrow_n for_o whatsoever_o she_o have_v do_v against_o almighty_a god_n but_o yet_o on_o the_o other_o side_n she_o exalt_v and_o admire_v his_o mercy_n she_o have_v light_a wherewith_o to_o put_v herself_o to_o confusion_n and_o to_o praise_v his_o divine_a majesty_n for_o vouchsafe_v to_o endure_v she_o so_o long_o but_o in_o that_o other_o kind_n of_o humility_n which_o the_o devil_n bring_v there_o be_v no_o light_n for_o any_o thing_n which_o be_v good_a but_o it_o seem_v as_o if_o god_n be_v ready_a to_o put_v all_o the_o world_n to_o fire_n and_o sword_n the_o devil_n represent_v the_o divine_a justice_n to_o the_o soul_n and_o though_o he_o permit_v she_o to_o believe_v that_o god_n have_v mercy_n for_o the_o devil_n have_v no_o such_o power_n as_o to_o destroy_v her_o faith_n yet_o have_v she_o even_o that_o in_o such_o sort_n that_o it_o be_v no_o comfort_n to_o she_o at_o all_o but_o rather_o when_o she_o behold_v god_n great_a mercy_n he_o make_v it_o serve_v she_o for_o so_o much_o the_o great_a torment_n because_o she_o seem_v to_o have_v be_v oblige_v thereby_o to_o have_v serve_v almighty_a god_n so_o much_o the_o more_o this_o be_v a_o invention_n of_o the_o devil_n and_o that_o of_o the_o most_o painful_a and_o subtle_a and_o disguise_v that_o i_o have_v ever_o find_v and_o therefore_o i_o will_v wish_v your_o reverence_n if_o perhaps_o he_o may_v procure_v to_o tempt_v you_o hereafter_o in_o this_o kind_n to_o look_v upon_o it_o with_o a_o light_n in_o your_o hand_n and_o to_o procure_v to_o know_v he_o well_o if_o he_o leave_v you_o understanding_n enough_o for_o do_v it_o and_o believe_v not_o here_o that_o knowledge_n and_o learning_n will_v serve_v the_o turn_n for_o though_o i_o be_v in_o want_n enough_o of_o all_o that_o yet_o now_o when_o i_o be_o get_v out_o of_o his_o reach_n i_o be_o grow_v to_o understand_v very_o well_o that_o all_o his_o discourse_n be_v but_o foolery_n and_o that_o which_o i_o understand_v also_o be_v that_o sometime_o our_o bless_a lord_n be_v please_v to_o give_v way_n and_o permit_v it_o and_o he_o allow_v he_o leave_v to_o do_v this_o as_o he_o do_v that_o he_o may_v try_v and_o tempt_v job_n though_o because_o i_o be_o so_o wicked_a he_o permit_v not_o that_o it_o be_v do_v to_o i_o with_o so_o much_o rigour_n it_o happen_v to_o i_o once_o and_o i_o remember_v very_o well_o that_o it_o be_v upon_o the_o day_n before_o corpus-christi_a eve_n a_o festivitie_n to_o which_o i_o be_o devote_a though_o yet_o not_o so_o much_o as_o be_v fit_a and_o at_o that_o time_n it_o last_v with_o i_o but_o one_o day_n but_o at_o other_o time_n for_o a_o week_n and_o a_o fortnight_n yea_o and_o sometime_o three_o week_n and_o peradventure_o more_o and_o especial_o in_o the_o holy_a week_n which_o be_v wont_a to_o be_v my_o regalo_n in_o point_n of_o prayer_n that_o i_o think_v he_o desolation_n catched-up_a and_o even_o carried-away_a my_o understanding_n at_o a_o instant_n for_o certain_a thing_n sometime_o so_o very_o trivial_a and_o light_n that_o at_o other_o time_n i_o will_v but_o have_v laugh_v at_o he_o for_o his_o pain_n and_o then_o he_o make_v her_o stoop_n to_o whatsoever_o he_o list_v and_o the_o soul_n remain_v as_o it_o be_v nail_v to_o the_o place_n without_o be_v mistress_n of_o herself_o or_o be_v able_a to_o think_v of_o any_o thing_n but_o those_o impertinent_a foolery_n which_o the_o rempration_n represent_v and_o indeed_o they_o have_v no_o substance_n at_o all_o nor_o do_v they_o either_o bind_v or_o loose_v but_o serve_v only_o to_o choke_v the_o soul_n in_o such_o sort_n as_o not_o to_o suffer_v she_o to_o subsist_v in_o herself_o and_o real_o it_o be_v true_a that_o it_o have_v happen_v to_o i_o sometime_o to_o conceive_v that_o the_o devil_n go_v play_v with_o a_o soul_n as_o man_n will_v do_v with_o a_o ball_n and_o she_o the_o while_n be_v without_o any_o mean_n at_o all_o to_o deliver_v herself_o out_o of_o their_o power_n nor_o can_v it_o be_v express_v in_o what_o a_o deal_n of_o sufferance_n she_o be_v by_o this_o mean_n she_o walk_v in_o search_n of_o some_o defence_n and_o almighty_a god_n permit_v that_o she_o may_v find_v none_o she_o only_o and_o ever_o remain_v with_o the_o faculty_n and_o power_n of_o her_o freewill_n though_o yet_o not_o fair_a and_o clear_a but_o as_o if_o a_o man_n have_v eye_n which_o be_v shut_v or_o as_o if_o some_o person_n who_o have_v go_v very_o often_o by_o any_o way_n and_o so_o though_o it_o be_v night_n and_o dark_a yet_o by_o the_o mark_n which_o he_o have_v former_o take_v know_v where_o he_o may_v be_v in_o danger_n to_o stumble_v because_o former_o he_o have_v see_v the_o same_o path_n by_o day_n and_o so_o he_o secure_v himself_o from_o that_o danger_n in_o like_a manner_n do_v it_o occur_v to_o the_o soul_n which_o now_o seem_v but_o mere_o by_o custom_n not_o to_o offend_v almighty_a god_n for_o i_o speak_v not_o here_o of_o that_o protection_n which_o our_o lord_n afford_v she_o though_o yet_o that_o be_v the_o thing_n which_o import_v most_o but_o in_o the_o mean_a time_n our_o faith_n be_v deaden_v or_o at_o least_o lay_v asleep_o as_o the_o other_o virtue_n also_o be_v in_o such_o time_n as_o those_o though_o yet_o they_o be_v not_o utter_o lose_v for_o she_o well_o believe_v even_o then_o that_o doctrine_n which_o the_o church_n teach_v and_o she_o pronounce_v it_o also_o with_o her_o mouth_n whereas_o yet_o on_o the_o other_o side_n the_o devil_n do_v so_o press_v and_o dull_a this_o faith_n that_o she_o seem_v to_o have_v but_o such_o a_o kind_n of_o knowledge_n of_o god_n as_o man_n have_v a_o notice_n of_o thing_n which_o be_v speak_v of_o in_o their_o hear_n but_o yet_o from_o very_o far_o off_o her_o love_n also_o be_v so_o very_o lukewarm_a that_o if_o she_o chance_v to_o hear_v almighty_a god_n speak_v of_o she_o hearken_v in_o such_o a_o kind_n as_o to_o believe_v indeed_o that_o he_o be_v that_o which_o he_o be_v because_o the_o church_n declare_v it_o but_o yet_o she_o have_v utter_o lose_v all_o memory_n of_o whatsoever_o she_o have_v experiment_a of_o he_o in_o herself_o for_o she_o to_o go_v and_o pray_v and_o remain_v in_o solitude_n be_v but_o to_o increase_v her_o affliction_n for_o the_o torment_n which_o she_o feel_v in_o herself_o and_o yet_o without_o know_v very_o well_o why_o be_v

tree_n nor_o will_v it_o either_o thrive_v or_o prosper_v in_o itself_o no_o nor_o yet_o so_o much_o as_o suffer_v such_o other_o to_o thrive_v and_o prosper_v as_o shall_v grow_v near_o it_o for_o the_o fruit_n of_o good-example_n which_o it_o can_v give_v will_v not_o be_v wholesome_a or_o sound_n nor_o last_v long_o and_o i_o say_v and_o say_v again_o that_o when_o there_o be_v any_o point_n of_o honour_n to_o be_v maintain_v how_o little_a soever_o that_o may_v be_v it_o be_v like_o the_o stop_n of_o the_o organ_n whereof_o when_o the_o point_n or_o compass_n be_v in_o fault_n the_o whole_a music_n be_v also_o then_o in_o disorder_n it_o be_v a_o vice_n which_o be_v always_o procure_v hurt_v enough_o to_o the_o soul_n but_o in_o the_o way_n of_o prayer_n it_o be_v the_o very_a pestilence_n itself_o for_o then_o we_o be_v go_v to_o procure_v to_o join_v ourselves_o by_o way_n of_o union_n with_o almighty_a god_n and_o we_o say_v that_o we_o dispose_v ourselves_o to_o observe_v and_o follow_v the_o counsel_n of_o christ_n our_o lord_n who_o we_o find_v to_o be_v all_o load_a with_o injury_n and_o false_a testimony_n against_o he_o and_o yet_o we_o must_v forsooth_o be_v careful_a to_o hold-up_a our_o own_o reputation_n and_o honour_n very_a right_n and_o straight_o but_o it_o be_v not_o possible_a ever_o to_o arrive_v at_o that_o journey_n end_n without_o go_v by_o the_o same_o way_n which_o he_o go_v and_o our_o bless_a lord_n come_v approach_v then_o to_o a_o soul_n when_o we_o endeavour_v to_o concur_v with_o he_o and_o procure_v to_o depart_v and_o descend_v in_o many_o thing_n from_o that_o which_o be_v even_o our_o right_n but_o now_o some_o perhaps_o will_v say_v i_o know_v not_o wherein_o that_o shall_v be_v and_o i_o have_v nothing_o of_o this_o kind_n to_o offer_v up_o for_o his_o sake_n yet_o for_o my_o part_n i_o be_o apt_a to_o believe_v that_o whosoever_o have_v indeed_o so_o generous_a a_o resolution_n as_o this_o his_o divine_a majesty_n will_v ordain_v he_o so_o many_o different_a way_n for_o the_o gain_v of_o this_o virtue_n that_o perhaps_o he_o will_v not_o wish_v to_o have_v have_v so_o many_o let_v we_o all_o therefore_o put_v our_o hand_n to_o work_v for_o i_o be_o able_a to_o tell_v you_o that_o the_o nothing_o and_o poor_a littleness_n or_o some_o of_o they_o at_o least_o which_o be_v those_o miserable_a straw_n whereof_o i_o have_v speak_v and_o which_o i_o cast_v into_o the_o fire_n for_o i_o be_o fit_a for_o nothing_o else_o be_v all_o admit_v and_o accept_v by_o our_o bless_a lord_n and_o let_v he_o be_v praise_v for_o ever_o among_o the_o rest_n of_o my_o imperfection_n i_o be_v subject_a to_o this_o for_o one_o i_o have_v very_o little_a knowledge_n of_o the_o breviarie_n and_o of_o all_o that_o which_o be_v to_o be_v perform_v in_o the_o choir_n and_o this_o happen_v by_o my_o be_v so_o very_o careless_a and_o give_v to_o vanity_n and_o the_o while_n i_o see_v other_o novice_n who_o be_v able_a to_o have_v instruct_v i_o now_o i_o forbear_v to_o ask_v they_o any_o question_n for_o fear_v lest_o they_o shall_v know_v of_o my_o ignorance_n but_o short_o after_o a_o good_a example_n come_v before_o i_o for_o this_o mercy_n be_v usual_o vouchsafe_v by_o almighty_a god_n and_o so_o when_o he_o have_v a_o little_a open_v my_o eye_n i_o will_v then_o be_v content_a to_o ask_v whatsoever_o i_o know_v not_o most_o perfect_o well_o though_o for_o the_o most_o part_n i_o know_v it_o and_o thus_o both_o i_o lose_v forsooth_o no_o honour_n by_o the_o bargain_n and_o afterward_o it_o seem_v to_o i_o that_o our_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o give_v i_o a_o better_a memory_n i_o also_o know_v the_o sing_a part_n very_o ill_o and_o i_o be_v trouble_v if_o i_o do_v not_o learn_v what_o i_o be_v bid_v yet_o not_o this_o because_o i_o fail_v in_o what_o i_o shall_v have_v perform_v as_o in_o the_o presence_n of_o our_o lord_n for_o that_o have_v be_v virtue_n in_o i_o but_o in_o regard_n that_o there_o be_v so_o many_o who_o hear_v i_o and_o thus_o i_o be_v so_o disorder_v upon_o the_o mere_a point_n of_o look_v forsooth_o to_o my_o honour_n that_o real_o i_o acquit_v myself_o much_o worse_o than_o i_o know_v how_o to_o have_v do_v before_o but_o afterward_o i_o think_v it_o fit_a to_o tell_v they_o plain_o that_o i_o can_v not_o do_v that_o well_o which_o indeed_o i_o can_v not_o do_v at_o the_o first_o i_o have_v some_o difficulty_n also_o even_o in_o this_o but_o afterward_o i_o take_v contentment_n in_o do_v it_o and_o real_o it_o be_v very_o true_a that_o when_o once_o a_o body_n begin_v not_o to_o care_n that_o she_o be_v know_v not_o to_o know_v a_o thing_n she_o shall_v perform_v it_o much_o better_a and_o when_o this_o base_a ugly_a honour_n be_v once_o put_v out_o of_o the_o way_n this_o honour_n i_o mean_v which_o every_o body_n place_n where_o and_o in_o what_o he_o will_v by_o these_o nothing_o which_o be_v real_o nothing_o and_o i_o be_o sure_a i_o be_o nothing_o enough_o who_o such_o a_o babble_n can_v put_v to_o so_o much_o pain_n i_o be_v able_a to_o do_v those_o thing_n better_a and_o thus_o by_o perform_v such_o poor_a act_n and_o such_o miserable_a little_a thing_n as_o these_o his_o divine_a majesty_n vouchsafe_v to_o give_v they_o strength_n and_o value_n as_o have_v be_v perform_v for_o his_o sake_n he_o also_o help_v we_o on_o towards_o great_a thing_n and_o so_o do_v it_o happen_v to_o i_o in_o matter_n concern_v humility_n by_o my_o see_v that_o they_o all_o profit_v except_o myself_o for_o i_o be_v never_o good_a for_o any_o thing_n but_o òn_o when_o they_o go_v from_o the_o choir_n i_o will_v stay_v to_o fold-up_a their_o mantle_n for_o it_o seem_v no_o less_o to_o i_o then_o that_o they_o be_v as_o so_o many_o angel_n themselves_o who_o sing_v the_o praise_n of_o almighty_a god_n and_o still_o i_o use_v to_o do_v it_o till_o they_o come_v to_o hear_v of_o it_o but_o then_o i_o be_v not_o a_o little_a ashamed_a for_o my_o virtue_n do_v not_o arrive_v so_o far_o as_o to_o desire_v that_o they_o may_v know_v of_o it_o not_o yet_o because_o i_o be_v humble_a but_o only_o that_o they_o may_v not_o laugh_v at_o i_o for_o my_o labour_n and_o for_o my_o be_v so_o absolute_o good_a for_o nothing_o o_o my_o dear_a lord_n how_o mere_a a_o scorn_n and_o shame_n be_v it_o to_o see_v so_o great_a wickedness_n as_o i_o and_o find_v i_o reckon-up_a such_o poor_a and_o paltry_a little_a grain_n of_o sand_n as_o these_o which_o yet_o also_o i_o raise_v not_o out_o of_o the_o earth_n for_o thy_o honour_n and_o service_n but_o all_o be_v wrap_v up_o in_o a_o thousand_o misery_n for_o the_o water_n of_o thy_o grace_n have_v not_o yet_o spring_v and_o boyled-up_a in_o i_o to_o make_v they_o rise_v o_o thou_o my_o dear_a creator_n that_o i_o have_v something_o of_o worth_n and_o substance_n which_o i_o may_v recount_v and_o present_a to_o thou_o among_o so_o many_o sin_n of_o i_o since_o i_o be_o command_v to_o relate_v those_o great_a favour_n which_o i_o have_v receive_v from_o thou_o it_o be_v true_a o_o my_o lord_n and_o my_o god_n that_o i_o know_v not_o how_o this_o hart_n of_o i_o can_v endure_v it_o not_o how_o any_o creature_n who_o shall_v ever_o read_v this_o story_n can_v fail_v to_o abhor_v i_o when_o he_o see_v such_o immense_a favour_n as_o thou_o so_o ill_o acknowledge_v and_o thyself_o so_o ill_o serve_v for_o they_o and_o that_o i_o be_o no_o more_o ashamed_a to_o relate_v in_o fine_a these_o little_a service_n as_o if_o they_o be_v i_o and_o yet_o o_o my_o dear_a lord_n i_o be_o ashamed_a but_o only_o my_o not_o have_v any_o thing_n else_o to_o recount_v with_o any_o colour_n of_o be_v my_o own_o make_v i_o unfold_v these_o so_o base_a beginning_n of_o i_o to_o the_o end_n that_o whosoever_o may_v have_v lay_v his_o own_o more_o solid_o and_o substantial_o up_o for_o thy_o service_n may_v well_o have_v good_a hope_n by_o the_o mean_n since_o he_o who_o have_v vouchsafe_v to_o accept_v my_o poor_a beginning_n in_o part_n of_o payment_n will_v certain_o receive_v those_o other_o better_a which_o be_v great_a i_o humble_o beseech_v his_o divine_a majesty_n to_o give_v i_o grace_n at_o length_n that_o i_o may_v not_o still_o continue_v in_o these_o thing_n which_o be_v but_o beginning_n amen_o the_o two_o and_o thirty_o chapter_n she_o treat_v howit_n please_v our_o lord_n to_o put_v she_o in_o spirit_n into_o a_o place_n of_o hell_n which_o she_o say_v she_o have_v deserve_v for_o her_o sin_n she_o relate_v what_o be_v represent_v to_o she_o there_o

kind_n of_o inclination_n to_o know_v in_o what_o condition_n or_o state_n that_o soul_n be_v for_o i_o desire_v that_o he_o may_v be_v a_o very_a great_a servant_n of_o almighty_a god_n i_o rise_v then_o from_o sit_v where_o i_o be_v that_o so_o i_o may_v be_v go_v towards_o he_o but_o yet_o have_v be_v already_o recollect_v in_o prayer_n it_o seem_v to_o i_o then_o afterward_o that_o it_o will_v be_v no_o better_o then_o lose_v time_n and_o what_o forsooth_o have_v i_o to_o do_v with_o he_o and_o so_o i_o then_o dispose_v myself_o to_o sit_v down_o again_o and_o as_o i_o now_o remember_v i_o do_v the_o very_a same_o thing_n no_o less_o than_o three_o several_a time_n in_o fine_a the_o good_a angel_n be_v strong_a than_o the_o ill_a and_o i_o go_v and_o require_v he_o to_o be_v call_v and_o so_o he_o come_v i_o than_o begin_v to_o ask_v he_o diverse_a question_n as_o he_o do_v i_o because_o many_o year_n have_v slip_v away_o since_o we_o meet_v last_o concern_v the_o several_a life_n of_o one_o another_o and_o i_o begin_v to_o tell_v he_o that_o as_o for_o i_o it_o have_v be_v subject_a to_o many_o affliction_n of_o mind_n upon_o this_o he_o press_v much_o to_o know_v what_o those_o affliction_n may_v be_v and_o i_o tell_v he_o that_o it_o be_v neither_o great_o pertinent_a to_o be_v know_v nor_o very_o fit_a for_o i_o to_o relate_v but_o he_o reply_v that_o since_o the_o father_n of_o s._n dominick_n order_n know_v they_o that_o father_n who_o i_o have_v affirm_v to_o be_v so_o much_o his_o friend_n will_v present_o let_v he_o know_v they_o and_o therefore_o that_o i_o need_v not_o trouble_v myself_o to_o relate_v they_o but_o in_o fine_a the_o case_n grow_v to_o be_v this_o that_o neither_o be_v it_o in_o his_o power_n to_o forbear_v to_o importune_v i_o nor_o in_o i_o to_o forbear_v to_o declare_v myself_o herein_o to_o he_o for_o with_o all_o that_o trouble_n and_o shame_n which_o i_o use_v to_o have_v whensoever_o there_o be_v discourse_n of_o thing_n like_o this_o yet_o when_o i_o treat_v of_o they_o with_o this_o man_n and_o with_o the_o rectour_n also_o of_o the_o society_n of_o who_o i_o speak_v before_o it_o put_v i_o to_o no_o trouble_n at_o all_o but_o rather_o it_o be_v of_o comfort_n to_o i_o i_o therefore_o unfold_v myself_o to_o he_o but_o yet_o under_o the_o seal_n of_o confession_n and_o i_o thought_n he_o be_v more_o advise_v then_o ever_o though_o i_o always_o hold_v he_o to_o be_v a_o man_n of_o very_o great_a understanding_n i_o consider_v the_o many_o talent_n and_o part_n he_o have_v wherewith_o to_o do_v a_o huge_a deal_n of_o good_a if_o he_o will_v give_v himself_o entire_o to_o almighty_a god_n and_o it_o be_v true_a that_o i_o have_v have_v this_o quality_n for_o diverse_a of_o these_o latter_a year_n that_o i_o can_v see_v any_o creature_n who_o content_v i_o much_o of_o but_o i_o must_v instant_o desire_v to_o have_v he_o whole_o give_v to_o almighty_a god_n and_o i_o wish_v it_o even_o with_o such_o a_o extremity_n of_o appetite_n that_o i_o know_v not_o almost_o in_o those_o case_n what_o to_o do_v with_o myself_o and_o though_o it_o be_v very_o true_a that_o i_o will_v fain_o have_v all_o the_o world_n do_v he_o service_n yet_o i_o desire_v with_o very_o great_a impulse_n and_o even_o impetuositie_n that_o the_o person_n who_o please_v i_o best_o shall_v do_v it_o most_o and_o so_o i_o often_o use_v to_o importune_v our_o lord_n extreme_o in_o their_o behalf_n but_o as_o for_o that_o religious_a man_n of_o who_o i_o be_v speak_v he_o beseech_v i_o that_o i_o will_v recommend_v he_o earnest_o to_o almighty_a god_n but_o that_o be_v more_o than_o need_v for_o already_o i_o be_v so_o go_v with_o the_o man_n that_o i_o can_v not_o possible_o do_v otherwise_o and_o so_o i_o go_v to_o the_o place_n where_o i_o be_v accustom_v to_o put_v myself_o in_o prayer_n all_o alone_a and_o be_v then_o in_o deep_a recollection_n i_o begin_v to_o deal_v with_o our_o bless_a lord_n and_o it_o be_v in_o a_o stile_n so_o very_o familiar_a that_o it_o be_v even_o half_a foolish_a for_o i_o treat_v with_o he_o many_o time_n without_o know_v almost_o distinct_o what_o i_o say_v for_o then_o it_o be_v not_o so_o proper_o my_o person_n as_o my_o love_n which_o speak_v and_o the_o soul_n be_v so_o alienate_v even_o from_o herself_o that_o i_o scarce_o discern_v the_o difference_n which_o then_o there_o be_v between_o almighty_a god_n and_o i_o for_o the_o great_a love_n which_o my_o soul_n know_v that_o his_o divine_a majesty_n bear_v she_o make_v she_o forget_v what_o she_o be_v in_o herself_o as_o conceave_a that_o she_o be_v then_o in_o he_o and_o so_o as_o if_o both_o she_o and_o he_o be_v one_o and_o the_o selfsame_a thing_n without_o division_n or_o distinction_n she_o utter_v but_o impertinency_n and_o roaving_n i_o remember_v that_o i_o tell_v he_o thus_o much_o after_o i_o have_v beg_v of_o he_o with_o abundance_n of_o tear_n that_o the_o soul_n of_o that_o religious_a man_n may_v apply_v itself_o to_o his_o service_n in_o great_a earnest_n that_o although_o i_o hold_v he_o already_o for_o good_a yet_o that_o will_v not_o serve_v my_o turn_n for_o i_o must_v have_v he_o very_o good_a and_o according_o i_o say_v further_o thus_o in_o plain_a term_n o_o lord_n thou_o must_v not_o deny_v i_o this_o favour_n but_o consider_v that_o this_o man_n will_v be_v very_o fit_a to_o make_v afreind_n for_o we_o both_o o_o great_a humanity_n and_o bounty_n of_o almighty_a god_n nor_o do_v he_o so_o much_o consider_v our_o word_n but_o the_o desire_n and_o affection_n wherewith_o they_o be_v speak_v but_o now_o how_o can_v he_o come_v to_o endure_v that_o such_o a_o miserable_a creature_n as_o i_o shall_v speak_v to_o his_o divine_a majesty_n with_o so_o much_o boldness_n but_o let_v he_o be_v bless_v for_o ever_o the_o while_n i_o remember_v well_o that_o in_o those_o hour_n of_o prayer_n wherein_o i_o exercise_v myself_o that_o night_n our_o lord_n give_v i_o a_o great_a affliction_n by_o my_o doubt_n whether_o i_o be_v in_o his_o favour_n but_o now_o i_o desire_v not_o so_o much_o to_o know_v that_o as_o i_o do_v even_o desire_v to_o die_v rather_o than_o to_o continue_v in_o such_o a_o life_n as_o wherein_o i_o may_v not_o be_v sure_a whether_o i_o be_v dead_a or_o no._n for_o it_o be_v not_o possible_a for_o i_o to_o endure_v a_o sharp_a death_n then_o to_o think_v that_o i_o have_v offend_v almighty_a god_n and_o this_o pain_n put_v i_o into_o such_o straits_n that_o be_v all_o regaled_a as_o i_o be_v and_o even_o melt_v and_o dissolve_v in_o tear_n i_o humble_o beseech_v his_o divine_a majesty_n that_o he_o will_v not_o permit_v it_o and_o so_o i_o come_v then_o to_o understand_v that_o i_o may_v well_o be_v comfort_v and_o confide_v that_o i_o be_v in_o state_n of_o grace_n for_o that_o such_o love_n of_o almighty_a god_n and_o the_o impart_v of_o such_o favour_n and_o feeling_n as_o his_o divine_a majesty_n vouchsafe_v to_o i_o be_v not_o compatible_a with_o any_o such_o soul_n as_o shall_v be_v in_o mortal_a sinne._n but_o in_o the_o mean_a time_n i_o grow_v into_o a_o kind_n of_o assure_a hope_n that_o our_o lord_n will_v grant_v the_o thing_n to_o that_o other_o person_n which_o i_o humble_o beg_v at_o his_o hand_n he_o command_v i_o also_o to_o deliver_v certain_a word_n to_o he_o but_o at_o this_o indeed_o i_o be_v trouble_v much_o as_o not_o know_v how_o i_o shall_v be_v able_a to_o utter_v they_o for_o the_o point_n of_o carry_v a_o message_n to_o a_o three_o person_n in_o such_o sort_n as_o i_o be_v say_v be_v a_o thing_n which_o do_v always_o afflict_v i_o especial_o when_o i_o know_v not_o how_o it_o will_v be_v take_v or_o whether_o the_o person_n will_v not_o laugh_v at_o i_o for_o my_o labour_n this_o put_v i_o to_o a_o great_a deal_n of_o trouble_n but_o yet_o in_o fine_a i_o think_v i_o be_v so_o far_o persuade_v as_o to_o promise_v almighty_a god_n that_o i_o will_v not_o forbear_v to_o impart_v they_o and_o through_o the_o great_a confusion_n and_o shame_n wherein_o i_o be_v i_o hart_n write_v they_o and_o so_o deliver_v they_o to_o he_o and_o now_o this_o well_o appear_v to_o be_v a_o action_n of_o almighty_a god_n by_o the_o great_a effect_n it_o wrought_v for_o he_o resolve_v to_o give_v himself_o to_o prayer_n after_o very_o a_o serious_a manner_n though_o yet_o he_o do_v it_o not_o so_o very_o soon_o but_o yet_o our_o lord_n design_v to_o make_v he_o whole_o his_o own_o be_v please_v to_o declare_v certain_a truth_n to_o he_o by_o my_o mean_n

which_o howsoever_o i_o understand_v they_o not_o myself_o do_v yet_o fall_v out_o so_o fit_o for_o he_o that_o he_o be_v even_o amaze_v and_o our_o lord_n dispose_v he_o to_o believe_v that_o they_o come_v from_o his_o divine_a majesty_n and_o i_o on_o the_o other_o side_n though_o i_o be_v that_o poor_a miserable_a creature_n which_o i_o be_o do_v humble_o and_o earnest_o beseech_v our_o lord_n that_o he_o will_v perfect_o and_o entire_o convert_v that_o man_n to_o himself_o and_o make_v he_o abhor_v all_o the_o contentment_n and_o creature_n of_o this_o life_n and_o so_o for_o which_o let_v he_o be_v bless_v for_o ever_o he_o have_v be_v please_v to_o do_v it_o and_o that_o in_o so_o very_o perfect_a a_o manner_n that_o whensoever_o this_o servant_n of_o he_o be_v speak_v to_o i_o it_o make_v i_o in_o effect_n turn_v half_a fool_n and_o if_o i_o have_v not_o see_v it_o with_o my_o very_a eye_n i_o shall_v hold_v it_o for_o a_o doubtful_a thing_n how_o favour_n can_v possible_o be_v heaped-up_a so_o very_o high_a upon_o a_o creature_n in_o so_o short_a a_o time_n and_o shall_v hold_v he_o so_o busy_o and_o continual_o employ_v upon_o almighty_a god_n that_o already_o he_o seem_v not_o to_o live_v for_o the_o use_n of_o any_o thing_n of_o this_o world_n i_o humble_o beseech_v his_o divine_a majesty_n to_o keep_v he_o in_o his_o protection_n still_o for_o certain_o if_o he_o proceed_v after_o this_o rate_n as_o i_o hope_v in_o our_o lord_n he_o will_v his_o spirit_n be_v so_o deep_o root_v in_o the_o knowledge_n of_o himself_o he_o will_v grow_v to_o be_v of_o the_o most_o eminent_a servant_n he_o have_v and_o will_v be_v able_a to_o do_v good_a to_o many_o soul_n for_o he_o have_v get_v great_a experience_n concern_v thing_n of_o spirit_n in_o a_o very_a short_a time_n and_o these_o be_v gift_n which_o almighty_a god_n impart_v when_o and_o how_o he_o will_v without_o any_o precise_a respect_n either_o to_o the_o time_n which_o have_v be_v spend_v or_o else_o to_o the_o quality_n of_o the_o service_n i_o say_v not_o yet_o but_o that_o this_o may_v also_o import_v much_o but_o that_o our_o lord_n forbear_v sometime_o to_o give_v that_o to_o a_o person_n in_o twenty_o year_n of_o contemplation_n which_o yet_o he_o forbear_v not_o to_o bestow_v upon_o some_o other_o in_o one_o our_o lord_n know_v the_o reason_n of_o this_o and_o it_o be_v also_o a_o deceitful_a error_n which_o abuse_v we_o when_o it_o seem_v we_o may_v understand_v and_o obtain_v that_o by_o account_n of_o year_n which_o can_v by_o no_o mean_n be_v have_v without_o experience_n of_o the_o very_a thing_n as_o they_o be_v and_o so_o many_o err_v as_o i_o have_v say_v in_o think_v that_o they_o be_v fit_a to_o judge_v of_o spirit_n without_o have_v any_o themselves_o i_o say_v not_o but_o that_o a_o learned_a man_n though_o he_o have_v no_o great_a knowledge_n of_o spirit_n may_v govern_v another_o man_n who_o have_v spirit_n but_o this_o be_v to_o be_v understand_v both_o in_o the_o exterior_a and_o in_o the_o interior_a way_n so_o far_o as_o it_o may_v carry_v a_o conformity_n with_o the_o natural_a power_n by_o the_o work_n of_o his_o understanding_n and_o as_o for_o those_o thing_n which_o be_v supernatural_a he_o must_v be_v careful_a that_o all_o go_v on_o with_o consent_n to_o holy_a scripture_n and_o for_o the_o rest_n let_v he_o not_o vex_v himself_o nor_o conceive_v that_o he_o understand_v that_o whereof_o indeed_o he_o know_v nothing_o nor_o stifle_v and_o choke_v those_o spirit_n which_o forasmuch_o as_o concern_v these_o thing_n be_v govern_v by_o another_o and_o a_o high_a lord_n for_o in_o fine_a they_o be_v not_o without_o a_o superior_a of_o their_o own_o be_v not_o amaze_v at_o this_o nor_o let_v these_o thing_n seem_v impossible_a to_o you_o for_o all_o be_v very_o possible_a to_o our_o lord_n but_o procure_v you_o to_o reinforce_v your_o faith_n and_o to_o humble_v yourself_o when_o you_o see_v that_o our_o bless_a lord_n know_v how_o to_o make_v a_o poor_a old_a ignorant_a woman_n become_v a_o more_o know_a creature_n perhaps_o in_o this_o science_n than_o he_o who_o may_v be_v otherwise_o a_o very_a learned_a man_n for_o by_o mean_n of_o this_o humility_n one_o shall_v be_v able_a to_o do_v more_o good_a both_o to_o the_o soul_n of_o other_o and_o his_o own_o then_o if_o he_o grow_v to_o be_v contemplative_a without_o that_o virtue_n and_o i_o say_v and_o say_v again_o that_o if_o he_o be_v not_o a_o man_n of_o experience_n or_o if_o at_o least_o he_o have_v not_o very_o abundant_o of_o humility_n wherewith_o to_o understand_v that_o he_o understand_v not_o the_o business_n and_o that_o yet_o it_o be_v not_o impossible_a but_o that_o the_o thing_n in_o question_n may_v be_v true_a he_o shall_v both_o gain_v little_a himself_o and_o enable_v he_o also_o less_o to_o gain_v with_o who_o he_o deal_v but_o on_o the_o other_o side_n if_o he_o have_v humility_n he_o may_v be_v well_o out_o of_o fear_n that_o our_o lord_n will_v ever_o permit_v that_o either_o the_o one_o or_o the_o other_o shall_v be_v deceive_v but_o now_o concern_v this_o father_n of_o who_o i_o speak_v as_o our_o lord_n have_v give_v he_o experience_n in_o many_o thing_n so_o have_v he_o also_o endeavour_v to_o acquire_v all_o that_o which_o may_v be_v get_v by_o study_n in_o this_o kind_n and_o whensoever_o his_o own_o experience_n fall_v short_a he_o inform_v himself_o by_o their_o mean_n who_o have_v more_o and_o here_o our_o lord_n come_v to_o assist_v he_o by_o give_v he_o a_o great_a proportion_n of_o faith_n and_o by_o this_o mean_n he_o have_v do_v very_o much_o good_a both_o to_o his_o own_o soul_n and_o those_o also_o of_o other_o and_o i_o be_v one_o of_o they_o for_o our_o b._n lord_n consider_v the_o many_o affliction_n which_o i_o be_v to_o endure_v it_o seem_v will_v provide_v that_o since_o some_o of_o they_o will_v be_v bring_v upon_o i_o by_o such_o as_o be_v to_o govern_v my_o soul_n there_o yet_o may_v be_v other_o find_v who_o will_v help_v i_o to_o go_v through_o with_o those_o trouble_n and_o assist_v i_o much_o but_o as_o for_o this_o religious_a man_n of_o who_o i_o have_v speak_v so_o much_o our_o lord_n have_v so_o entire_o change_v he_o that_o upon_o the_o matter_n he_o be_v no_o long_o to_o be_v know_v for_o the_o man_n he_o be_v he_o have_v now_o also_o give_v he_o much_o corporal_a strength_n whereby_o he_o be_v now_o enable_v to_o do_v penance_n which_o be_v impossible_a for_o he_o before_z for_o he_o be_v ever_o sickly_a and_o he_o be_v also_o full_a of_o courage_n towards_o the_o perform_n of_o any_o thing_n which_o be_v good_a and_o beside_o he_o have_v variety_n of_o other_o excellent_a thing_n which_o make_v it_o well_o appear_v that_o his_o vocation_n come_v most_o particular_o from_o our_o lord_n and_o let_v he_o be_v bless_v for_o ever_o for_o my_o part_n i_o believe_v that_o all_o this_o good_a be_v come_v to_o he_o by_o the_o favour_n which_o our_o lord_n have_v do_v he_o in_o prayer_n for_o they_o be_v not_o paint_a thing_n or_o put_v loose_o on_o but_o our_o lord_n have_v be_v please_v to_o have_v he_o bring_v to_o the_o touch_n and_o he_o have_v prove_v therein_o as_o one_o who_o understand_v very_o well_o the_o true_a value_n of_o that_o merit_n which_o be_v get_v by_o the_o well_o suffer_v of_o persecution_n and_o i_o trust_v in_o the_o greatness_n of_o our_o lord_n that_o much_o good_a will_v accrue_v to_o some_o of_o his_o order_n by_o his_o mean_n yea_o and_o even_o to_o the_o whole_a order_n itself_o already_o this_o begin_v to_o be_v understand_v and_o myself_o have_v see_v great_a vision_n and_o our_o lord_n have_v tell_v i_o some_o particular_n both_o of_o he_o and_o of_o the_o rectour_n of_o the_o college_n of_o the_o society_n of_o jesus_n of_o who_o i_o speak_v and_o they_o be_v thing_n of_o great_a admiration_n as_o also_o of_o two_o other_o religious_a man_n of_o s._n dominick_n order_n but_o especial_o of_o one_o for_o who_o proceed_v and_o profit_n in_o the_o way_n of_o spirit_n our_o lord_n have_v already_o manifest_v some_o thing_n to_o the_o world_n by_o real_a proof_n i_o have_v also_o hear_v former_o of_o he_o but_o they_o be_v many_o instance_n which_o concern_v the_o person_n of_o who_o i_o speak_v before_o and_o one_o of_o they_o i_o will_v here_o recount_v i_o be_v once_o with_o he_o in_o a_o locutorie_a or_o speaking-place_n of_o a_o monastery_n and_o so_o very_o great_a be_v the_o love_n of_o almighty_a god_n which_o my_o soul_n and_o spirit_n understand_v to_o be_v even_o burn_v in_o his_o that_o i_o be_v even_o as_o it_o be_v

to_o that_o journey_n for_o that_o only_o purpose_n for_o himself_o tell_v i_o afterward_o that_o he_o have_v no_o occasion_n at_o all_o to_o come_v but_o only_o by_o have_v hear_v of_o this_o business_n and_o that_o he_o grow_v to_o know_v of_o it_o mere_o by_o chance_n he_o stay_v here_o as_o long_o as_o be_v necessary_a and_o when_o he_o be_v return_v home_o he_o procure_v by_o certain_a mean_n which_o he_o use_v that_o our_o father_n provincial_a shall_v give_v leave_n both_o that_o i_o and_o some_o other_o also_o may_v come_v to_o stay_v at_o our_o new_a monastery_n which_o yet_o seem_v a_o kind_n of_o impossible_a thing_n for_o he_o to_o grant_v so_o soon_o yea_o and_o that_o i_o may_v also_o do_v the_o office_n of_o teach_v and_o instruct_v such_o as_o be_v there_o already_o but_o the_o day_n when_o i_o get_v thither_o be_v of_o extreme_a comfort_n to_o my_o hart_n for_o be_v in_o prayer_n in_o the_o church_n before_o i_o enter_v into_o the_o monastery_n and_o be_v in_o a_o kind_n of_o rapt_v i_o see_v christ_n our_o lord_n appear_v and_o i_o think_v he_o receive_v i_o with_o great_a love_n and_o put_v a_o crown_n upon_o my_o head_n &_o give_v i_o thanks_n for_o the_o service_n which_o i_o have_v do_v to_o his_o mother_n at_o another_o time_n also_o we_o be_v all_o in_o the_o choir_n and_o in_o prayer_n after_o compline_n i_o see_v our_o b._n lady_n in_o excessive_a glory_n with_o a_o white_a mantle_n upon_o and_o about_o she_o and_o she_o seem_v to_o shelter_v and_o protect_v we_o all_o under_o that_o mantle_n and_o i_o understand_v how_o high_a a_o degree_n of_o glory_n our_o bless_a lord_n will_v vouchsafe_v to_o the_o religious_a of_o that_o house_n when_o we_o come_v once_o to_o celebrate_v the_o office_n of_o the_o church_n the_o devotion_n which_o the_o people_n begin_v to_o carry_v towards_o we_o be_v very_o great_a and_o already_o there_o grow_v to_o come_v more_o religious_a to_o we_o and_o our_o lord_n begin_v also_o to_o incline_v even_o they_o to_o do_v we_o most_o favour_n and_o most_o bountiful_o to_o impart_v all_o thing_n to_o we_o who_o have_v persecute_v we_o most_o and_o they_o come_v to_o approve_v that_o which_o they_o have_v mislike_v before_o and_o so_o by_o little_a and_o little_a they_o let_v their_o suit_n fall_v and_o they_o say_v that_o now_o they_o be_v come_v to_o understand_v that_o it_o be_v the_o work_n of_o almighty_a god_n since_o his_o divine_a majesty_n have_v be_v please_v that_o it_o shall_v proceed_v and_o prosper_v in_o despite_n of_o so_o great_a contradiction_n yea_o now_o there_o be_v not_o a_o creature_n who_o conceive_v that_o it_o have_v be_v well_o do_v to_o desist_v from_o the_o work_n and_o according_o they_o take_v much_o care_n to_o provide_v we_o with_o alm_n even_o without_o our_o desire_v any_o thing_n at_o any_o time_n of_o any_o body_n so_o that_o it_o seem_v our_o bless_a lord_n stir_v they_o up_o to_o send_v it_o to_o we_o of_o themselves_o and_o so_o we_o pass_v without_o the_o want_n of_o any_o thing_n in_o the_o world_n which_o be_v necessary_a and_o i_o hope_v in_o our_o bless_a lord_n that_o it_o shall_v for_o ever_o be_v so_o for_o be_v so_o few_o as_o we_o be_v if_o withal_o we_o shall_v do_v our_o duty_n as_o now_o his_o divine_a majesty_n give_v we_o grace_n to_o do_v i_o make_v myself_o very_o sure_o that_o we_o shall_v want_v nothing_o and_o so_o have_v no_o occasion_n to_o be_v troublesome_a or_o importunate_a towards_o any_o creature_n but_o that_o as_o i_o be_v say_v our_o lord_n will_v take_v care_n of_o we_o hereafter_o as_o he_o have_v be_v please_v to_o do_v hitherto_o and_o religious_a for_o i_o it_o be_v a_o excessive_a comfort_n to_o see_v myself_o settle_v here_o with_o such_o servant_n of_o almighty_a god_n as_o be_v so_o total_o untie_v from_o all_o the_o person_n and_o thing_n of_o this_o world_n their_o conversation_n and_o discourse_n be_v only_o how_o they_o may_v be_v able_a to_o proceed_v best_a and_o fast_o in_o the_o service_n of_o his_o divine_a majesty_n solitude_n be_v the_o great_a solace_n they_o can_v enjoy_v and_o to_o think_v that_o they_o shall_v see_v any_o creature_n but_o only_o such_o as_o may_v assist_v they_o towards_o the_o enkindle_n and_o inflame_v their_o heart_n to_o the_o love_n of_o their_o spouse_n be_v the_o great_a trouble_n they_o have_v yea_o though_o it_o shall_v be_v from_o the_o near_a kindred_n they_o know_v and_o so_o there_o come_v no_o body_n hither_o but_o such_o as_o love_v to_o treat_v of_o that_o business_n for_o neither_o will_v he_o content_v they_o nor_o they_o he_o and_o their_o language_n be_v only_o to_o speak_v of_o our_o bless_a lord_n as_o it_o be_v they_o neither_o understand_v nor_o be_v understand_v unless_o the_o same_o language_n be_v speak_v we_o keep_v and_o observe_v the_o rule_n of_o our_o b._n lady_n of_o carmel_n and_o this_o entire_o as_o it_o ought_v to_o be_v without_o any_o manner_n of_o relaxation_n but_o just_a as_o it_o be_v ordain_v by_o albertus_n patriarch_n of_o jerusalem_n and_o confirm_v by_o pope_n innocentius_n the_o four_o in_o the_o five_o year_n of_o his_o pontificate_n and_o in_o the_o year_n of_o our_o lord_n god_n 1248._o so_o as_o now_o i_o think_v all_o the_o trouble_n and_o vexation_n which_o have_v be_v endure_v about_o this_o business_n will_v fall_v out_o to_o have_v be_v very_o well_o employ_v and_o though_o the_o rule_n be_v of_o some_o rigour_n for_o they_o never_o eat_v flesh_n without_o necessity_n and_o they_o fast_a fast_a eight_o month_n in_o the_o year_n and_o observe_v such_o other_o thing_n also_o as_o may_v be_v see_v in_o the_o original_a rule_n yet_o most_v of_o the_o particular_n seem_v to_o be_v of_o little_a difficulty_n to_o the_o religious_a &_o they_o observe_v also_o other_o thing_n which_o have_v seem_v necessary_a to_o we_o for_o the_o more_o exact_a performance_n of_o the_o say_a rule_n and_o i_o hope_v in_o our_o bless_a lord_n that_o this_o which_o be_v begin_v will_v proceed_v and_o prosper_v according_a to_o what_o his_o divine_a majesty_n have_v tell_v i_o the_o other_o house_n which_o the_o beata_fw-la of_o who_o i_o speak_v before_o procure_v to_o erect_v be_v now_o already_o make_v in_o alcalà_fw-fr and_o there_o want_v not_o also_o opposition_n and_o great_a affliction_n and_o trouble_n to_o they_o who_o labour_v in_o it_o i_o know_v that_o all_o religious_a observance_n be_v perform_v there_o according_a to_o the_o first_o institution_n of_o this_o our_o rule_n and_o i_o beseech_v our_o bless_a lord_n that_o all_o may_v turn_v to_o his_o honour_n and_o praise_n and_o of_o the_o glorious_a virgin_n marie_n who_o habit_n we_o wear_v amen_n i_o well_o believe_v that_o your_o reverence_n will_v have_v be_v weary_v with_o the_o long_a relation_n which_o i_o i_o have_v make_v you_o of_o this_o monastery_n which_o yet_o in_o some_o respect_n will_v fallout_a to_o have_v be_v but_o very_o short_a consider_v the_o many_o affliction_n which_o be_v endure_v and_o the_o great_a wonder_n which_o our_o bless_a lord_n wrought_v therein_o whereof_o there_o be_v many_o witness_n who_o can_v aver_v they_o by_o oath_n and_o now_o i_o beseech_v your_o reverence_n for_o the_o love_n of_o our_o lord_n that_o howsoever_o you_o may_v tear_v what_o you_o will_v of_o all_o the_o rest_n that_o i_o have_v write_v your_o reverence_n will_v keep_v safe_a what_o i_o send_v you_o here_o concern_v this_o monastery_n and_o that_o when_o i_o shall_v be_v dead_a you_o will_v deliver_v it_o over_o to_o the_o religious_a here_o for_o it_o will_v great_o serve_v to_o animate_v such_o as_o shall_v succeed_v in_o the_o service_n of_o almighty_a god_n and_o to_o make_v they_o procure_v not_o to_o let_v that_o fall_v to_o the_o ground_n which_o be_v begin_v and_o so_o to_o be_v still_o pass_v further_o and_o further_o on_o when_o they_o shall_v see_v how_o careful_o his_o divine_a majesty_n bless_v it_o in_o the_o erection_n thereof_o by_o mean_n of_o so_o wicked_a and_o base_a a_o creature_n as_o myself_o and_o since_o our_o bless_a lord_n have_v show_v in_o so_o particular_a a_o manner_n that_o he_o be_v resolve_v to_o favour_n both_o the_o beginning_n and_o finish_v of_o this_o monastery_n it_o seem_v to_o i_o that_o they_o shall_v do_v very_o ill_a and_o that_o they_o will_v be_v severe_o punish_v by_o almighty_a god_n who_o shall_v endeavour_v at_o all_o to_o slacken_v the_o perfection_n of_o this_o rule_n for_o here_o our_o bless_a lord_n have_v already_o begin_v so_o to_o assist_v and_o strengthen_v we_o as_o that_o this_o kind_n of_o cross_n be_v carry_v with_o extraordinary_a suavity_n and_o be_v very_o well_o discern_v to_o be_v tolerable_a enough_o and_o that_o

the_o effect_n whensoever_o the_o soul_n have_v light_a for_o many_o time_n as_o i_o have_v say_v our_o lord_n be_v please_v that_o it_o shall_v remain_v in_o darkness_n and_o not_o see_v this_o light_n and_o therefore_o it_o be_v not_o so_o strange_a a_o business_n which_o so_o wicked_a a_o creature_n as_o myself_o may_v come_v to_o see_v on_o the_o other_o side_n it_o be_v but_o even_o now_o that_o it_o have_v happen_v to_o i_o to_o be_v eight_o day_n in_o such_o a_o case_n as_o that_o i_o seem_v neither_o to_o have_v knowledge_n of_o what_o i_o owe_v to_o almighty_a god_n not_o yet_o any_o memory_n of_o his_o favour_n but_o only_o that_o my_o soul_n be_v even_o half_o besot_v and_o estrange_v and_o employ_v upon_o i_o know_v not_o what_o nor_o how_o not_o yet_o upon_o any_o ill_a thought_n but_o i_o be_v so_o very_o untoward_a in_o respect_n of_o good_a one_o that_o i_o do_v even_o as_o it_o be_v laugh_v at_o myself_o and_o take_v a_o kind_n of_o gust_n to_o see_v the_o great_a baseness_n of_o a_o soul_n whensoever_o our_o lord_n vouchsafe_v not_o to_o be_v work_v in_o it_o but_o she_o yet_o understand_v very_o well_o that_o she_o be_v not_o without_o possess_v he_o even_o in_o this_o state_n for_o it_o be_v not_o as_o i_o have_v former_o say_v as_o it_o use_v to_o be_v in_o our_o great_a affliction_n but_o though_o we_o bring_v wood_n thither_o and_o do_v also_o all_o that_o very_o little_a which_o we_o be_v able_a to_o do_v on_o our_o part_n there_o be_v yet_o no_o such_o thing_n in_o the_o world_n as_o the_o kindle_v at_o that_o time_n of_o any_o fire_n of_o the_o love_n of_o our_o lord_n in_o our_o heart_n and_o it_o be_v no_o small_a mercy_n of_o he_o that_o we_o can_v so_o much_o as_o find_v that_o there_o be_v any_o smoke_n for_o at_o least_o we_o know_v thereby_o that_o she_o be_v not_o dead_a and_o our_o lord_n return_v to_o kindle_v it_o again_o afterward_o but_o then_o this_o soul_n of_o we_o though_o we_o break_v our_o very_a head_n in_o blow_v and_o weary_a ourselves_o also_o otherwise_o in_o order_v and_o compose_v the_o wood_n seem_v to_o be_v in_o such_o a_o condition_n as_o that_o every_o thing_n serve_v to_o choke_v we_o the_o more_o and_o so_o i_o think_v the_o best_a of_o our_o case_n to_o be_v then_o to_o render_v ourselves_o whole_o up_o and_o to_o know_v that_o we_o be_v able_a to_o do_v nothing_o of_o ourselves_o and_o then_o to_o apply_v our_o endeavour_n to_o the_o do_v of_o some_o external_a meritorious_a thing_n yea_o and_o perhaps_o our_o bless_a lord_n be_v please_v to_o take_v prayer_n from_o we_o at_o that_o time_n to_o the_o end_n that_o the_o soul_n may_v exercise_v herself_o in_o those_o other_o action_n and_o so_o understand_v at_o length_n by_o good_a experience_n how_o little_a she_o be_v able_a to_o do_v of_o herself_o but_o now_o i_o have_v this_o very_a day_n regale_v my_o soul_n with_o our_o lord_n and_o presume_v to_o complain_v to_o his_o divine_a majesty_n even_o against_o himself_o to_o this_o effect_n how_o come_v it_o to_o pass_v o_o my_o god_n that_o it_o seem_v not_o enough_o for_o thou_o to_o keep_v i_o in_o this_o miserable_a life_n and_o that_o i_o resolve_v to_o endure_v it_o all_o for_o thy_o sake_n and_o that_o i_o content_v myself_o to_o be_v where_o all_o be_v vexation_n and_o trouble_v and_o that_o i_o may_v not_o so_o much_o as_o enjoy_v even_o thou_o but_o that_o i_o must_v also_o eat_v and_o sleep_v and_o dispatch_v business_n and_o treat_v with_o every_o creature_n according_a to_o the_o occasion_n and_o that_o i_o suffer_v all_o this_o for_o the_o love_n of_o thou_o and_o now_o o_o my_o lord_n thou_o know_v that_o this_o be_v a_o extreme_a torment_n to_o my_o hart_n and_o that_o yet_o in_o those_o few_o little_a moment_n of_o time_n which_o remain_v to_o i_o for_o the_o enjoy_v thou_o thou_o yet_o be_v please_v to_o hide_v thyself_o after_o this_o manner_n from_o i_o and_o how_o can_v this_o be_v compatible_a with_o thy_o mercy_n and_o how_o can_v the_o love_n thou_o bear_v i_o permit_v it_o i_o believe_v o_o my_o dear_a lord_n that_o if_o it_o be_v a_o possible_a thing_n for_o i_o to_o hide_v myself_o from_o thou_o as_o thou_o do_v thyself_o from_o i_o i_o think_v i_o say_v and_o i_o believe_v so_o much_o of_o the_o love_n thou_o bear_v i_o as_o that_o thou_o will_v not_o endure_v it_o at_o my_o hand_n but_o thou_o be_v still_o with_o i_o and_o ever_o see_v in_o what_o case_n i_o be_o yet_o permit_v not_o long_o o_o my_o lord_n that_o this_o kind_n of_o course_n be_v hold_v but_o i_o humble_o beseech_v thou_o to_o consider_v that_o it_o be_v a_o kind_n of_o wrong_n to_o proceed_v after_o this_o manner_n with_o one_o who_o love_v thou_o so_o much_o this_o and_o the_o like_a have_v occur_v to_o i_o to_o say_v though_o yet_o i_o consider_v first_o how_o that_o place_n which_o have_v be_v provide_v for_o i_o in_o hell_n be_v appoint_v i_o after_o a_o kind_n of_o favourable_a way_n in_o comparison_n of_o what_o i_o have_v deserve_v but_o yet_o sometime_o the_o love_n i_o bear_v to_o our_o bless_a lord_n be_v so_o very_o extravagant_a that_o i_o scarce_o can_v tell_v what_o i_o do_v and_o then_o with_o all_o the_o little_a understanding_n i_o have_v i_o make_v such_o complaint_n as_o these_o and_o our_o lord_n endure_v they_o all_o at_o my_o hand_n and_o therefore_o let_v so_o good_a a_o king_n as_o this_o be_v ever_o praise_v but_o now_o may_v we_o perhaps_o be_v able_a to_o approach_v any_o king_n of_o this_o world_n with_o such_o audacity_n as_o these_o and_o yet_o i_o wonder_v not_o much_o that_o we_o may_v not_o presume_v to_o talk_v after_o this_o manner_n to_o our_o earthly_a king_n who_o we_o have_v so_o much_o reason_n to_o fear_v yea_o or_o even_o to_o such_o great_a lord_n as_o be_v the_o superior_a part_n of_o the_o state_n for_o people_n now_o we_o find_v the_o world_n so_o change_v that_o our_o very_a life_n shall_v be_v long_o than_o now_o they_o be_v to_o the_o end_n that_o we_o may_v have_v time_n enough_o to_o learn_v the_o punto_n and_o new_a custom_n and_o fashion_n of_o good_a manner_n of_o the_o world_n if_o there_o be_v any_o meaning_n withal_o that_o we_o shall_v also_o have_v any_o time_n to_o spend_v in_o the_o service_n of_o almighty_a god_n for_o my_o part_n i_o even_o bless_v myself_o to_o see_v what_o happen_v for_o the_o truth_n be_v that_o even_o already_o i_o scarce_o know_v how_o to_o live_v in_o the_o world_n when_o i_o come_v to_o this_o place_n for_o now_o it_o pass_v i_o can_v assure_v you_o for_o no_o jest_n whensoever_o there_o be_v any_o little_a omission_n to_o treat_v man_n even_o with_o much_o more_o style_n and_o ceremony_n than_o they_o deserve_v but_o they_o do_v real_o so_o take_v it_o for_o a_o affront_n that_o you_o must_v forsooth_o interpret_v your_o intention_n and_o profess_v your_o desire_n to_o make_v satisfaction_n if_o there_o be_v as_o i_o be_v say_v any_o omission_n yea_o and_o i_o pray_v god_n that_o they_o will_v vouchsafe_v to_o believe_v you_o but_o in_o the_o mean_a time_n i_o return_v to_o affirm_v that_o real_o i_o do_v not_o know_v how_o to_o live_v so_o miserable_o do_v these_o thing_n afflict_v a_o poor_a overlabour_v soul_n for_o she_o see_v that_o on_o the_o one_o side_n they_o command_v she_o to_o employ_v her_o whole_a thought_n upon_o god_n and_o that_o it_o be_v necessary_a for_o she_o to_o do_v so_o to_o the_o end_n that_o she_o may_v be_v deliver_v from_o many_o danger_n and_o on_o the_o other_o side_n she_o also_o find_v that_o it_o concern_v she_o not_o to_o loose_v a_o punto_n even_o in_o the_o puntilio_n of_o this_o world_n upon_o the_o price_n of_o not_o chance_v to_o minister_v occasion_n of_o give_v temptation_n and_o trouble_v to_o they_o who_o place_n their_o honour_n in_o these_o punto_n for_o as_o for_o i_o they_o tire_v i_o even_o outright_o and_o i_o can_v never_o be_v at_o a_o end_n of_o make_v satisfaction_n for_o it_o be_v never_o in_o my_o power_n how_o much_o soever_o i_o endeavour_v it_o to_o forbear_v the_o make_v many_o fault_n in_o this_o kind_n which_o as_o i_o say_v be_v not_o hold_v to_o be_v little_a in_o the_o account_n of_o the_o world_n and_o it_o be_v true_a that_o in_o religious_a order_n which_o in_o all_o reason_n shall_v be_v excuse_v and_o discharge_v in_o such_o kind_n as_o these_o there_o be_v real_o a_o very_a true_a discharge_n not_o yet_o that_o they_o affirm_v that_o our_o monastery_n ought_v to_o be_v a_o kind_n of_o court_n for_o good_a breed_n and_o to_o know_v what_o belong_v to_o good_a manner_n

and_o i_o believe_v it_o have_v be_v more_o than_o a_o month_n wherein_o i_o do_v almost_o nothing_o else_o but_o beg_v of_o almighty_a god_n that_o he_o will_v bring_v this_o soul_n back_o to_o himself_o and_o be_v in_o prayer_n one_o day_n i_o see_v a_o devil_n hard_a by_o i_o with_o certain_a paper_n in_o his_o hand_n which_o he_o be_v tear_v and_o he_o seem_v to_o be_v in_o a_o very_a great_a rage_n but_o this_o put_v i_o into_o much_o comfort_n because_o i_o conceive_v thereby_o that_o my_o suit_n be_v grant_v and_o so_o it_o be_v as_o i_o come_v to_o know_v afterward_o for_o the_o party_n have_v be_v at_o confession_n and_o have_v do_v it_o with_o great_a contrition_n and_o he_o return_v in_o so_o very_o good_a earnest_n to_o almighty_a god_n that_o i_o hope_v in_o his_o divine_a majesty_n he_o will_v ever_o go_v advance_v in_o his_o service_n and_o let_v he_o be_v bless_v for_o ever_o amen_n in_o this_o particular_a of_o procure_v our_o bless_a lord_n to_o bring_v soul_n out_o of_o grievous_a sin_n upon_o my_o humble_a suit_n and_o of_o other_o who_o be_v bring_v many_o time_n to_o more_o perfection_n and_o of_o fre_a soul_n also_o out_o of_o purgatory_n and_o of_o do_v other_o thing_n also_o of_o great_a importance_n the_o favour_n of_o our_o bless_a lord_n have_v be_v so_o great_a that_o i_o shall_v both_o weary_a myself_o and_o my_o reader_n if_o i_o will_v pretend_v to_o relate_v they_o and_o these_o thing_n have_v happen_v often_o to_o i_o for_o the_o benefit_n of_o soul_n then_o of_o body_n and_o this_o be_v so_o very_o well_o know_v that_o it_o have_v many_o witness_n but_o then_o instant_o there_o grow_v a_o kind_n of_o scruple_n upon_o i_o since_o i_o can_v not_o choose_v but_o believe_v that_o our_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o do_v diverse_a thing_n through_o my_o prayer_n for_o in_o this_o case_n and_o at_o this_o time_n i_o abstract_n from_o his_o goodness_n and_o mercy_n which_o be_v ever_o the_o chief_n cause_n of_o all_o thing_n but_o for_o the_o rest_n these_o be_v now_o so_o many_o particular_n and_o so_o well_o know_v by_o other_o that_o i_o have_v no_o difficulty_n at_o all_o to_o believe_v they_o and_o i_o bless_v his_o divine_a majesty_n for_o the_o same_o and_o they_o put_v i_o to_o great_a confusion_n because_o i_o still_o find_v myself_o to_o be_v more_o and_o more_o a_o debtor_n but_o that_o consideration_n make_v my_o desire_n to_o serve_v he_o increase_n and_o revive_v my_o love_n and_o which_o yet_o amaze_v i_o more_o those_o thing_n which_o our_o lord_n find_v not_o to_o be_v convenient_a i_o can_v scarce_o beg_v of_o his_o divine_a majesty_n even_o almost_o although_o i_o will_v and_o if_o i_o do_v it_o be_v with_o so_o little_a strength_n and_o spirit_n and_o care_n that_o although_o i_o will_v fain_o force_v myself_o yet_o it_o be_v even_o impossible_a for_o i_o to_o do_v it_o in_o these_o as_o i_o do_v it_o in_o those_o other_o which_o his_o divine_a majesty_n have_v a_o mind_n to_o effect_v for_o such_o i_o see_v i_o be_o able_a to_o beg_v often_o and_o that_o with_o great_a importunity_n and_o though_o i_o carry_v not_o the_o particular_a care_n of_o they_o about_o i_o yet_o i_o think_v they_o come_v before_o i_o of_o themselves_o so_o that_o the_o difference_n between_o these_o two_o way_n of_o ask_v be_v so_o very_o great_a as_o i_o be_o not_o able_a to_o declare_v for_o though_o i_o ask_v in_o one_o of_o these_o kind_n of_o thing_n wherein_o i_o forbear_v not_o to_o urge_v myself_o to_o beg_v they_o of_o our_o lord_n howsoever_o i_o feel_v not_o that_o kind_n of_o fervour_n in_o myself_o which_o i_o do_v in_o those_o other_o and_o though_o they_o chance_v to_o import_v my_o own_o particular_a very_o much_o yet_o be_v it_o in_o effect_n but_o as_o when_o a_o man_n chance_v to_o be_v toung-tyed_n who_o although_o he_o will_v fain_o speak_v yet_o he_o can_v do_v it_o and_o if_o he_o speak_v it_o be_v but_o in_o such_o sort_n as_o that_o he_o see_v it_o can_v be_v understand_v whereas_o the_o other_o be_v as_o when_o a_o man_n speak_v clear_a and_o plain_a to_o a_o man_n who_o he_o find_v very_o willing_a to_o hear_v he_o or_o else_o let_v we_o say_v that_o one_o of_o those_o favour_n be_v beg_v as_o by_o a_o vocal_a prayer_n and_o the_o other_o as_o in_o a_o way_n of_o contemplation_n which_o be_v so_o very_o sublime_a that_o our_o lord_n represent_v himself_o in_o such_o sort_n as_o that_o we_o understand_v that_o he_o understand_v we_o and_o that_o his_o divine_a majesty_n be_v joy_v to_o see_v that_o we_o beg_v any_o thing_n of_o he_o that_o so_o he_o may_v do_v we_o favour_n bless_a be_v he_o for_o ever_o who_o give_v we_o so_o much_o and_o to_o who_o i_o give_v so_o little_a for_o what_o o_o my_o lord_n do_v any_o man_n who_o do_v not_o even_o defeat_v himself_o whole_o for_o thou_o and_o yet_o how_o much_o how_o much_o how_o much_o and_o a_o thousand_o time_n more_o i_o may_v say_v how_o much_o be_o i_o want_v herein_o and_o now_o upon_o this_o reason_n i_o shall_v not_o so_o much_o as_o once_o desire_v even_o to_o live_v though_o yet_o i_o have_v other_o reason_n also_o not_o to_o desire_v it_o because_o i_o live_v not_o according_a to_o my_o obligation_n towards_o thou_o nay_o how_o full_a do_v i_o see_v myself_o of_o imperfection_n and_o with_o what_o faintness_n and_o baseness_n do_v i_o serve_v thou_o and_o real_o i_o think_v sometime_o i_o wish_v that_o i_o be_v even_o deprive_v of_o sense_n that_o so_o i_o may_v not_o understand_v so_o very_a much_o ill_n of_o myself_o as_o i_o do_v yet_o i_o beseech_v he_o to_o redress_v it_o all_o who_o know_v so_o well_o how_o to_o do_v it_o but_o i_o remember_v i_o speak_v before_o of_o my_o be_v in_o the_o house_n of_o a_o certain_a great_a lady_n where_o i_o assure_v you_o folk_n have_v good_a reason_n to_o have_v their_o wit_n well_o about_o they_o and_o always_o to_o be_v consider_v the_o vanity_n which_o worldly_a thing_n carry_v with_o they_o for_o she_o be_v a_o person_n very_o much_o esteem_v and_o very_o much_o praise_v and_o there_o be_v temptation_n enough_o towards_o less_o perfection_n through_o much_o distraction_n whereby_o one_o may_v easy_o have_v be_v shrewd_o take_v if_o i_o have_v look_v upon_o nothing_o but_o myself_o but_o he_o who_o judge_v right_o and_o look_n upon_o we_o with_o true_a sight_n indeed_o be_v careful_a not_o to_o give_v over_o the_o keep_v i_o ever_o safe_a in_o his_o hand_n and_o now_o when_o i_o be_o speak_v of_o have_v a_o true_a and_o real_a sight_n of_o thing_n i_o remember_v and_o consider_v the_o great_a trouble_n which_o any_o such_o person_n as_o who_o it_o have_v please_v almighty_a god_n to_o endue_v with_o a_o knowledge_n of_o that_o which_o indeed_o be_v truth_n must_v needs_o be_v put_v to_o when_o he_o be_v force_v to_o treat_v with_o other_o about_o thing_n which_o concern_v this_o transitory_a and_o troublesome_a world_n where_o all_fw-mi in_o fine_a be_v much_o disguise_v and_o mask_v as_o our_o lord_n himself_o tell_v i_o once_o but_o in_o the_o mean_a time_n many_o of_o those_o thing_n which_o i_o write_v here_o be_v by_o no_o mean_n of_o my_o own_o head_n but_o they_o have_v be_v tell_v i_o by_o that_o heavenly_a master_n of_o i_o and_o because_o in_o all_o those_o thing_n which_o i_o be_o wont_a to_o affirm_v after_o a_o direct_a and_o positive_a manner_n i_o use_v to_o express_v myself_o by_o these_o word_n this_o i_o understand_v or_o else_o our_o lord_n tell_v i_o this_o i_o find_v myself_o with_o a_o very_a great_a scruple_n of_o either_o add_v or_o any_o way_n alter_v so_o much_o as_o any_o one_o syllable_n thereof_o and_o so_o whensoever_o i_o do_v not_o most_o express_o remember_v every_o circumstance_n of_o any_o thing_n of_o this_o kind_n which_o be_v to_o be_v relate_v by_o i_o i_o be_o wont_a to_o deliver_v that_o always_o as_o in_o my_o own_o name_n or_o else_o because_o sometime_o they_o proceed_v from_o my_o own_o particular_a dictaman_n i_o use_v not_o to_o call_v any_o thing_n i_o which_o be_v good_a in_o itself_o because_o indeed_o i_o be_o far_o enough_o from_o be_v ignorant_a that_o any_o such_o thing_n as_o be_v in_o i_o be_v good_a but_o i_o affirm_v only_o those_o thing_n as_o in_o my_o own_o name_n and_o they_o be_v deliver_v as_o by_o myself_o which_o do_v not_o come_v into_o my_o understanding_n and_o knowledge_n by_o way_n of_o revelation_n but_o o_o my_o dear_a lord_n and_o my_o god_n and_o how_o often_o do_v it_o happen_v to_o we_o here_o that_o even_o in_o the_o most_o spiritual_a occasion_n we_o be_v resolve_v many_o

in_o the_o exercise_n of_o bounty_n her_o compassion_n be_v most_o eminent_a to_o ward_o the_o relief_n of_o all_o creature_n in_o misery_n &_o so_o especial_o be_v her_o solicitude_n to_o consolate_v &_o regale_n all_o such_o in_o all_o occasion_n as_o be_v entrust_v to_o her_o care_n while_o yet_o she_o will_v needs_o be_v unkind_a and_o even_o as_o it_o be_v cruel_a to_o herself_o alone_o above_o all_o thing_n she_o be_v a_o most_o perfect_a lover_n of_o truth_n &_o so_o full_a of_o matchless_a candour_n &_o sincerity_n in_o all_o expression_n &_o upon_o all_o occasion_n that_o she_o will_v no_o more_o have_v even_o so_o much_o as_o but_z disguised_z it_o and_o much_o less_o vary_a from_o it_o in_o the_o least_o kind_n especial_o when_o the_o question_n have_v any_o way_n concern_v she_o own_o advantage_n than_o she_o will_v have_v sell_v herself_o for_o a_o slave_n these_o i_o say_v be_v the_o condition_n of_o this_o admirable_a creature_n and_o these_o be_v the_o part_n of_o her_o mind_n which_o yet_o i_o consider_v but_o in_o the_o nature_n of_o fruit_n but_o they_o grow_v from_o these_o root_n which_o follow_v a_o most_o profound_a humility_n a_o most_o inviolable_a chastity_n a_o most_o strict_a love_n of_o poverty_n a_o most_o unshake_a and_o invincible_a patience_n in_o despite_n of_o sharp_a sickness_n torment_v pain_n and_o endless_a persecution_n a_o most_o ardent_a and_o inflame_a charity_n both_o towards_o god_n &_o man_n which_o breed_v a_o eager_a and_o insatiable_a appetite_n to_o win_v soul_n a_o undaunted_a fortitude_n &_o high_a courage_n and_o that_o no_o less_o in_o the_o endeavour_v great_a thing_n then_o in_o the_o suffer_a hard_a thing_n a_o constant_a continual_a supernatural_a &_o most_o elevate_v course_n of_o prayer_n and_o contemplation_n such_o a_o kind_n of_o excellent_a creature_n be_v this_o but_o yet_o when_o i_o overlook_v the_o little_a which_o i_o have_v here_o set_v down_o i_o confess_v it_o seem_v at_o the_o first_o even_o in_o my_o own_o eye_n to_o be_v a_o very_a extraordinary_a elogium_fw-la of_o her_o virtue_n and_o part_n and_o as_o if_o it_o may_v perhaps_o have_v have_v more_o in_o it_o of_o the_o panegyric_n then_o of_o a_o just_a praise_n and_o therefore_o before_o i_o will_v give_v it_o passage_n to_o the_o print_n i_o look_v attentive_o back_o upon_o what_o i_o have_v read_v of_o she_o concern_v her_o resolution_n and_o heroical_a action_n record_v in_o authentical_a manner_n by_o diverse_a grave_n and_o wise_a author_n and_o in_o several_a place_n also_o of_o her_o own_o work_n and_o particular_o upon_o what_o be_v deliver_v by_o father_n ribera_n in_o the_o historical_a relation_n of_o her_o whole_a life_n but_o when_o i_o come_v back_o from_o thence_o &_o compare_v that_o kind_n of_o descant_n with_o my_o plainsong_n concern_v the_o saint_n i_o find_v myself_o to_o have_v rather_o fall_v much_o too_o short_a then_o to_o have_v any_o way_n overshort_a in_o this_o kind_n and_o that_o the_o particular_n recount_v with_o great_a authority_n else_o where_o for_o the_o proof_n of_o how_o she_o profess_v herself_o after_o a_o high_a &_o most_o heroical_a manner_n in_o the_o practice_n &_o pursuit_n of_o virtue_n in_o order_n to_o all_o sanctity_n &_o perfection_n to_o which_o she_o aspire_v &_o where_o by_o god_n great_a mercy_n she_o arrive_v will_v have_v no_o less_o avow_a then_o encourage_v my_o pen_n to_o have_v do_v she_o much_o more_o honour_n that_o be_v more_o right_a if_o it_o have_v not_o be_v employ_v by_o so_o weak_a a_o hand_n as_o i_o but_o in_o the_o mean_a time_n i_o have_v consider_v the_o example_n of_o the_o holy_a s._n hierome_n who_o writing_n of_o his_o s._n paula_n to_o eustochium_fw-la her_o daughter_n have_v these_o word_n i_o take_v jesus_n and_o his_o saint_n to_o witness_v as_o also_o that_o particular_a angel_n who_o be_v the_o guardian_n and_o companion_n of_o this_o admirable_a woman_n that_o i_o will_v say_v nothing_o of_o she_o for_o favour_n nothing_o after_o the_o custom_n of_o flatterer_n but_o that_o whatsoever_o i_o be_o to_o deliaer_fw-mi shall_v be_v as_o if_o it_o be_v upon_o my_o oath_n and_o yet_o still_o it_o will_v fall_v short_a of_o her_o merit_n and_o now_o this_o shall_v authorise_v i_o also_o to_o take_v our_o bless_a lord_n to_o witness_v that_o to_o the_o best_a of_o my_o poor_a understanding_n i_o have_v not_o mistake_v myself_o about_o the_o celebration_n which_o here_o i_o make_v of_o our_o saint_n in_o the_o point_n of_o have_v praise_v she_o too_o much_o but_o rather_o that_o i_o be_o grow_v to_o be_v her_o debtor_n than_o her_o creditor_n herein_o for_o if_o ever_o there_o have_v be_v in_o the_o whole_a world_n many_o woman_n of_o more_o admirable_a part_n &_o perfection_n both_o in_o their_o intellectual_n &_o their_o moral_n which_o i_o account_v to_o be_v as_o the_o simple_n of_o a_o soul_n &_o in_o the_o use_n also_o thereof_o whereby_o those_o simple_n grow_v to_o be_v mix_v and_o whether_o we_o shall_v consider_v they_o in_o the_o natural_a or_o supernatural_a way_n it_o be_v more_o than_o i_o have_v be_v able_a to_o know_v either_o by_o read_v or_o else_o by_o discourse_n &_o yet_o i_o have_v be_v careful_a enough_o to_o inquire_v but_o now_o the_o certainty_n of_o this_o truth_n will_v yet_o even_o further_o appear_v when_o i_o shall_v tell_v you_o that_o which_o follow_v and_o it_o be_v that_o when_o the_o saint_n make_v observation_n &_o have_v experience_n of_o the_o world_n be_v great_a frailty_n and_o less_o perfection_n and_o that_o the_o religious_a order_n and_o house_n where_o she_o have_v enter_v have_v obtain_v certain_a relaxation_n and_o dispensation_n from_o diverse_a strict_a clause_n and_o condition_n of_o the_o first_o institute_n and_o when_o she_o have_v also_o meet_v with_o some_o custom_n through_o which_o even_o herself_o have_v receive_v disadvantage_n by_o dissipation_n and_o diminution_n of_o spirit_n as_o namely_o in_o regard_n of_o great_a &_o public_a resort_n to_o the_o house_n and_o a_o multitude_n of_o unnecessary_a conversation_n and_o especial_o for_o that_o they_o be_v not_o bind_v to_o continual_a clausure_n but_o have_v liberty_n to_o go_v abroad_o though_o yet_o only_o by_o leave_n of_o their_o superior_n to_o visit_v their_o parent_n and_o near_a kindred_n at_o some_o time_n she_o grow_v into_o a_o full_a resolution_n that_o if_o ever_o it_o shall_v be_v in_o her_o power_n to_o free_v herself_o from_o that_o course_n and_o to_o set_v more_o limit_v bound_n upon_o her_o way_n and_o to_o invite_v other_o also_o by_o her_o example_n to_o express_v their_o great_a desire_n to_o gain_v and_o perfect_a soul_n she_o will_v not_o fail_v to_o put_v that_o purpose_n of_o she_o in_o execution_n and_o so_o after_o the_o expire_a of_o some_o time_n &_o the_o encounter_v of_o many_o impediment_n and_o the_o overcome_v a_o world_n of_o difficulty_n she_o grow_v to_o express_v her_o love_n to_o our_o b_o lord_n but_o in_o the_o person_n of_o such_o creature_n as_o for_o who_o he_o die_v to_o such_o a_o proportion_n and_o in_o so_o high_a a_o kind_n as_o to_o project_v and_o perfect_a so_o great_a and_o hard_o a_o work_n as_o that_o perhaps_o no_o woman_n will_v be_v see_v to_o have_v ever_o procure_v and_o perform_v the_o like_a for_o to_o reform_v a_o religious_a order_n and_o to_o reduce_v it_o to_o the_o first_o strict_a institute_n be_v a_o matter_n of_o much_o more_o difficulty_n then_o to_o find_v one_o and_o for_o a_o woman_n who_o be_v of_o no_o absolute_a power_n to_o command_v to_o pass_v through_o so_o many_o impediment_n and_o to_o win_v the_o prize_n and_o to_o adorn_v even_o that_o original_a rule_n itself_o with_o so_o many_o holy_a and_o wise_a document_n and_o constitution_n of_o her_o own_o for_o the_o raise_n and_o true_a refine_n of_o spirit_n according_a to_o the_o necessity_n and_o exigence_n of_o those_o present_a most_o deprave_a time_n make_v the_o business_n become_v yet_o more_o hard_a and_o strange_a on_o the_o one_o side_n and_o more_o useful_a also_o &_o more_o excellent_a on_o the_o other_o for_o as_o i_o conceive_v it_o to_o be_v a_o truth_n that_o there_o be_v no_o one_o approve_a order_n of_o religious_a people_n in_o the_o holy_a catholic_a church_n which_o be_v not_o of_o the_o best_a of_o all_o other_o in_o that_o way_n of_o spirit_n for_o which_o it_o be_v chief_o institute_v by_o almighty_a god_n and_o especial_o for_o those_o time_n in_o which_o it_o be_v institute_v so_o be_v it_o not_o only_a piety_n but_o even_o prudence_n also_o to_o believe_v that_o since_o this_o bless_a woman_n be_v stirred-up_a by_o god_n holy_a spirit_n in_o this_o age_n of_o we_o for_o the_o redress_n of_o our_o modern_a great_a disorder_n that_o his_o divine_a majesty_n

i_o remain_v so_o alter_v yea_o and_o so_o astonish_v that_o i_o intend_v to_o see_v that_o person_n no_o more_o it_o do_v i_o a_o great_a deal_n of_o hurt_n that_o i_o know_v not_o at_o that_o time_n that_o it_o be_v possible_a for_o one_o to_o see_v any_o thing_n but_o with_o the_o eye_n of_o the_o body_n and_o the_o devil_n be_v careful_a enough_o to_o continue_v i_o in_o that_o erroneous_a opinion_n and_o to_o make_v i_o still_o believe_v that_o it_o be_v impossible_a and_o therefore_o that_o i_o have_v but_o fancy_v certain_a thing_n to_o myself_o and_o that_o perhaps_o it_o may_v be_v a_o work_n of_o the_o devil_n and_o he_o bring_v many_o suggestion_n like_o this_o upon_o i_o though_o yet_o still_o i_o be_v very_o confident_o of_o opinion_n that_o it_o be_v god_n and_o no_o conceit_n or_o fancy_n at_o all_o but_o yet_o still_o because_o it_o induce_v i_o to_o do_v thing_n which_o be_v against_o my_o gust_n i_o do_v the_o best_a i_o can_v even_o to_o belie_v my_o very_a self_n and_o forasmuch_o as_o i_o dare_v not_o confer_v with_o any_o body_n about_o this_o particular_a and_o find_v myself_o also_o extreme_o importune_v afterward_o and_o be_v wish_v to_o be_v assure_v that_o it_o can_v not_o be_v ill_o do_v to_o see_v such_o a_o person_n as_o that_o and_o that_o there_o will_v be_v no_o loss_n of_o honour_n by_o it_o but_o rather_o gain_v i_o return_v to_o enjoy_v the_o same_o conversation_n yea_o and_o also_o at_o other_o time_n i_o converse_v in_o like_a manner_n with_o other_o for_o they_o be_v many_o year_n wherein_o i_o take_v this_o pestilential_a recreation_n and_o when_o once_o i_o be_v far_o embark_v therein_o it_o seem_v not_o to_o i_o to_o be_v so_o very_a ill_n as_o yet_o indeed_o it_o be_v though_o still_o it_o be_v very_o true_a that_o sometime_o i_o discern_v clear_o enough_o that_o it_o be_v not_o good_a but_o yet_o no_o other_o conversation_n distract_v i_o so_o much_o as_o this_o in_o particular_a do_v by_o reason_n of_o the_o great_a affection_n which_o i_o bear_v to_o the_o party_n but_o myself_o be_v afterward_o again_o with_o the_o same_o person_n we_o both_o of_o we_o see_v come_v towards_o we_o and_o there_o be_v other_o also_o present_a who_o see_v it_o too_o a_o certain_a thing_n which_o have_v the_o manner_n of_o a_o great_a toad_n and_o it_o press_v and_o pass_v on_o with_o very_o much_o more_o speed_n than_o such_o creature_n use_v to_o have_v for_o my_o part_n i_o be_v not_o able_a to_o conceive_v how_o such_o a_o filthy_a beast_n as_o that_o shall_v get_v into_o that_o room_n through_o that_o part_n from_o whence_o it_o come_v and_o even_o as_o it_o be_v at_o noon_n day_n nor_o have_v ever_o any_o such_o thing_n be_v see_v there_o the_o effect_n which_o it_o wrought_v with_o i_o seem_v not_o to_o have_v be_v void_a of_o some_o mystery_n and_o this_o also_o be_v a_o thing_n which_o i_o can_v never_o forget_v but_o o_o greatness_n of_o almighty_a god_n with_o how_o much_o care_n &_o pity_n be_v thou_o admonish_v i_o in_o so_o many_o kind_n and_o by_o so_o many_o way_n &_o how_o little_a do_v i_o permit_v that_o all_o these_o warning_n shall_v help_v there_o be_v also_o there_o at_o that_o time_n a_o certain_a religious_a woman_n of_o my_o kindred_n and_o she_o be_v ancient_a and_o a_o great_a servant_n of_o god_n and_o of_o much_o discipline_n in_o her_o religious_a order_n she_o also_o will_v sometime_o be_v give_v i_o good_a counsel_n but_o i_o do_v not_o only_o not_o believe_v she_o but_o be_v also_o disgu_v with_o she_o as_o conceave_a that_o she_o will_v needs_o take_v scandal_n at_o i_o without_o cause_n and_o this_o i_o here_o relate_v to_o the_o end_n that_o both_o my_o wickedness_n and_o the_o great_a goodness_n of_o almighty_a god_n may_v be_v the_o better_o understand_v and_o that_o it_o may_v be_v know_v how_o well_o i_o deserve_a hell_n for_o my_o great_a ingratitude_n and_o i_o do_v it_o also_o to_o this_o end_n that_o if_o our_o lord_n may_v so_o ordain_v &_o be_v please_v that_o any_o religious_a woman_n may_v fall_v upon_o read_v this_o discourse_n they_o may_v be_v bring_v to_o be_v careful_a to_o take_v warning_n by_o i_o and_o i_o beg_v of_o they_o that_o for_o the_o love_n of_o our_o lord_n they_o will_v take_v heed_n of_o such_o recreation_n as_o these_o and_o i_o beseech_v his_o divine_a majesty_n that_o some_o one_o of_o they_o may_v be_v disabused_n who_o i_o have_v deceive_v when_o i_o tell_v they_o that_o it_o be_v not_o ill_a and_o when_o be_v in_o such_o blindness_n at_o that_o time_n i_o procure_v to_o assure_v they_o that_o there_o be_v no_o danger_n at_o all_o and_o in_o regard_n also_o that_o by_o the_o ill_a example_n which_o i_o give_v give_v they_o as_o i_o have_v relate_v here_o i_o be_v a_o cause_n to_o they_o of_o great_a mischief_n while_o yet_o i_o think_v not_o that_o i_o do_v so_o much_o hurt_v and_o though_o also_o it_o be_v certain_a that_o i_o have_v no_o design_n at_o all_o to_o deceive_v they_o but_o now_o even_o while_o i_o be_v yet_o much_o indispose_v in_o the_o way_n of_o health_n both_o concern_v body_n and_o mind_n and_o so_o before_o i_o be_v able_a to_o help_v myself_o in_o either_o kind_n i_o grow_v into_o a_o extreme_a desire_n to_o do_v other_o good_a which_o be_v a_o very_a ordinary_a temptation_n for_o new_a beginner_n though_o yet_o it_o happen_v now_o to_o succeed_v well_o with_o i_o and_o consider_v how_o dear_o i_o love_v my_o father_n i_o wish_v he_o the_o self_n same_o benefit_n which_o i_o conceive_v myself_o to_o have_v get_v and_o gain_v by_o mean_n of_o mental_a prayer_n and_o esteem_v that_o in_o this_o life_n there_o be_v no_o great_a blessing_n then_o to_o obtain_v and_o enjoy_v that_o gift_n i_o begin_v by_o certain_a way_n of_o discourse_n to_o procure_v the_o best_a i_o can_v that_o he_o will_v endeavour_v to_o obtain_v it_o and_o i_o give_v he_o certain_a book_n for_o this_o purpose_n now_o he_o be_v a_o man_n of_o so_o much_o virtue_n as_o i_o have_v already_o declare_v grow_v to_o settle_v himself_o so_o very_o well_o in_o this_o exercise_n that_o he_o come_v within_o five_o or_o six_o year_n for_o so_o long_o i_o think_v it_o be_v to_o be_v so_o well_o improve_v and_o advance_v therein_o that_o i_o bless_v our_o lord_n much_o for_o the_o favour_n and_o it_o give_v i_o a_o extreme_a consolation_n the_o trouble_n and_o cross_n which_o he_o endure_v be_v very_o great_a and_o of_o many_o kind_n and_o he_o pass_v through_o they_o all_o with_o much_o conformity_n to_o the_o will_n of_o our_o lord_n he_o come_v to_o see_v i_o often_o and_o be_v great_o comfort_v to_o treat_v of_o spiritual_a thing_n and_o when_o now_o i_o live_v so_o distract_v and_o diffuse_v without_o use_v mental_a prayer_n and_o see_v withal_o that_o he_o conceive_v i_o to_o be_v still_o the_o very_a same_o that_o i_o have_v be_v before_o i_o be_v not_o able_a to_o endure_v to_o live_v without_o undeceaving_a he_o for_o i_o have_v then_o be_v a_o year_n and_o more_o without_o mental_a prayer_n as_o think_v it_o more_o humility_n for_o i_o to_o abstain_v and_o this_o as_o i_o shall_v declare_v afterward_o be_v the_o great_a and_o worst_a temptation_n that_o ever_o i_o have_v for_o by_o this_o mean_n iranne_n headlong_o upon_o my_o total_a ruin_n whereas_o when_o i_o frequent_v prayer_n if_o i_o offend_v god_n one_o day_n i_o return_v to_o recollect_v myself_o upon_o another_o and_o so_o to_o absent_v myself_o from_o the_o occasion_n but_o that_o bless_a man_n my_o father_n come_v to_o see_v i_o in_o such_o state_n as_o this_o it_o be_v too_o much_o for_o i_o as_o i_o be_v say_v to_o let_v he_o walk_v on_o so_o far_o in_o error_n as_o to_o think_v that_o i_o still_o converse_v with_o god_n in_o prayer_n as_o former_o i_o have_v do_v and_o so_o i_o tell_v he_o then_o that_o i_o do_v no_o long_o use_v mental_a prayer_n though_o yet_o i_o do_v not_o tell_v he_o the_o cause_n thereof_o but_o i_o allege_v my_o infirmity_n for_o the_o reason_n and_o that_o although_o i_o be_v recover_v of_o the_o main_n sickness_n i_o have_v yet_o disease_n yea_o and_o very_o great_a one_o still_o and_o that_o although_o of_o late_a they_o have_v not_o assault_v i_o with_o so_o very_a great_a fierceness_n as_o before_o yet_o they_o fail_v not_o still_o to_o continue_v and_o to_o exercise_v i_o also_o in_o many_o kind_n in_o particular_a that_o i_o have_v certain_a vomit_n for_o twenty_o year_n together_o every_o morning_n in_o such_o sort_n as_o that_o i_o can_v never_o break_v my_o fast_n till_o noon_n be_v past_a yea_o and_o

sometime_o not_o so_o soon_o and_o since_o of_o late_a i_o be_o grow_v able_a to_o receive_v the_o b._n sacrament_n more_o often_o it_o proceed_v from_o this_o that_o these_o vomit_v come_v to_o i_o at_o night_n before_o i_o go_v to_o bed_n and_o they_o put_v i_o to_o much_o more_o pain_n and_o then_o i_o must_v procure_v to_o hasten_v and_o facilitate_v they_o by_o the_o use_n of_o feather_n and_o such_o other_o thing_n because_o if_o i_o have_v not_o those_o vomit_n the_o sickness_n which_o i_o feel_v be_v extreme_a but_o indeed_o i_o be_o i_o think_v almost_o never_o without_o many_o kind_n of_o pain_n and_o sometime_o they_o be_v very_o sharp_a one_o and_o especial_o at_o my_o very_a hart_n though_o yet_o withal_o it_o be_v also_o true_a that_o the_o cruel_a palsy_n and_o other_o infirmity_n of_o fever_n which_o be_v wont_a to_o come_v very_o thick_a upon_o i_o be_v now_o find_v to_o oppress_v i_o more_o seldom_o so_o that_o many_o time_n i_o be_o well_o in_o those_o respect_n and_o i_o have_v make_v so_o little_a account_n of_o these_o misery_n for_o these_o eight_o year_n together_o that_o sometime_o i_o be_o even_o glad_a i_o have_v they_o as_o conceave_a that_o our_o lord_n may_v be_v peradventure_o serve_v in_o some_o sort_n thereby_o this_o be_v my_o discourse_n and_o now_o my_o father_n believe_v that_o this_o which_o i_o tell_v he_o here_o be_v indeed_o the_o true_a cause_n of_o my_o omission_n for_o himself_o never_o use_v to_o lie_v and_o consider_v in_o what_o sort_n and_o of_o what_o matter_n i_o be_v then_o discourse_v to_o he_o he_o have_v no_o reason_n to_o think_v but_o that_o i_o say_v true_a and_o to_o the_o end_n that_o he_o may_v believe_v i_o the_o better_a i_o tell_v he_o also_o then_o that_o i_o well_o see_v myself_o not_o to_o be_v without_o some_o fault_n and_o that_o i_o have_v enough_o to_o do_v to_o be_v able_a to_o assist_v in_o the_o choir_n though_o yet_o in_o very_a deed_n even_o this_o reason_n of_o corporal_a sickness_n be_v no_o sufficient_a cause_n to_o make_v i_o give_v any_o good_a thing_n over_o for_o there_o be_v no_o need_n of_o corporal_a strength_n for_o such_o thing_n as_o these_o but_o only_o of_o love_n and_o custom_n since_o our_o lord_n afford_v we_o always_o opportunity_n if_o we_o will_v ourselves_o i_o say_v always_o because_o though_o infirmity_n and_o other_o occasion_n my_o hinder_v one_o sometime_o from_o spend_v many_o hour_n in_o solitude_n yet_o there_o will_v not_o want_v some_o other_o time_n wherein_o we_o may_v have_v health_n enough_o for_o this_o business_n yea_o and_o even_o in_o other_o occasion_n as_o also_o in_o the_o midst_n of_o sickness_n itself_o the_o true_a prayer_n may_v be_v make_v since_o it_o be_v the_o soul_n which_o love_v by_o offer_v up_o that_o pain_n to_o almighty_a god_n and_o in_o remember_v for_o who_o it_o be_v endure_v and_o in_o conform_v one_o self_n to_o god_n holy_a will_n therein_o and_o in_o a_o thousand_o such_o other_o thing_n as_o will_v occur_v and_o thus_o may_v one_o exercise_v love_n for_o there_o be_v no_o necessity_n at_o all_o for_o a_o person_n either_o to_o be_v in_o solitude_n or_o else_o that_o there_o must_v be_v no_o mental_a prayer_n at_o all_o if_o we_o will_v take_v a_o little_a care_n we_o may_v arrive_v to_o obtain_v great_a blessing_n at_o those_o time_n when_o our_o lord_n even_o take_v time_n for_o prayer_n from_o we_o by_o mean_n of_o our_o sickness_n and_o pain_n and_o myself_o have_v find_v this_o to_o be_v true_a as_o long_o as_o my_o conscience_n be_v pure_a and_o good_a but_o my_o father_n through_o the_o opinion_n which_o he_o hold_v of_o i_o and_o the_o love_n he_o bear_v i_o believe_v all_o that_o i_o have_v say_v or_o rather_o he_o not_o only_o believe_v but_o have_v also_o pity_n of_o i_o though_o yet_o be_v then_o grow_v to_o find_v himself_o in_o so_o eminent_a and_o high_a a_o state_n of_o spiritual_a life_n he_o remain_v not_o with_o i_o very_o long_o and_o therefore_o have_v visit_v i_o he_o return_v home_o as_o hold_v his_o stay_n there_o to_o be_v loss_n of_o time_n and_o i_o who_o be_v willing_a to_o spend_v it_o upon_o other_o vanity_n be_v not_o trouble_v very_o much_o at_o his_o departure_n it_o be_v not_o only_o with_o he_o but_o with_o other_o person_n also_o who_o i_o procure_v that_o they_o shall_v addict_v themselves_o to_o mental_a prayer_n even_o whilst_o i_o be_v walk_v on_o in_o those_o vanity_n for_o still_o as_o i_o find_v they_o apt_a to_o use_v vocal_a prayer_n i_o tell_v they_o how_o they_o shall_v grow_v to_o have_v the_o use_n of_o meditation_n and_o i_o do_v they_o good_a and_o give_v they_o book_n for_o i_o have_v still_o a_o good_a desire_n that_o other_o shall_v serve_v almighty_a god_n even_o from_o the_o very_a first_o time_n that_o i_o use_v mental_a prayer_n as_o i_o have_v relate_v here_o it_o seem_v to_o i_o that_o since_o now_o i_o serve_v not_o our_o lord_n myself_o so_o well_o as_o i_o shall_v yet_o i_o like_v not_o that_o that_o light_n shall_v be_v lose_v which_o his_o divine_a majesty_n have_v bestow_v upon_o i_o but_o that_o other_o might_n also_o serve_v he_o by_o my_o mean_n and_o this_o i_o here_o recount_v that_o so_o the_o great_a blindness_n wherein_o i_o be_v may_v be_v the_o better_o see_v which_o induce_v i_o to_o make_v i_o loose_v myself_o whilst_o yet_o i_o go_v procure_v to_o do_v good_a to_o other_o about_o this_o time_n my_o father_n fall_v into_o the_o sickness_n whereof_o he_o die_v short_o after_o but_o i_o go_v to_o attend_v and_o recover_v he_o whilst_o myself_o be_v more_o sick_a in_o soul_n than_o he_o be_v in_o body_n through_o many_o vanity_n of_o i_o though_o yet_o not_o in_o such_o sort_n as_o that_o according_a to_o my_o understanding_n i_o be_v in_o mortal_a sin_n even_o in_o all_o this_o worst_a &_o wicked_a time_n whereof_o i_o speak_v for_o certain_o if_o i_o have_v conceive_v otherwise_o i_o shall_v by_o no_o mean_n have_v continue_v therein_o i_o endure_v some_o affliction_n and_o trouble_v in_o his_o sickness_n and_o i_o think_v i_o also_o make_v he_o some_o part_n of_o poor_a amends_o for_o the_o pain_n which_o he_o have_v take_v with_o i_o in_o i_o for_o now_o be_v ill_a enough_o in_o myself_o i_o yet_o strain_v very_o hard_o to_o do_v he_o service_n and_o beside_o i_o well_o consider_v that_o by_o the_o only_o loss_n of_o he_o all_o my_o comfort_n and_o regalo_n be_v to_o be_v lose_v for_o it_o all_o be_v shut_v up_o in_o only_o he_o i_o animate_v myself_o also_o so_o much_o towards_z the_o not_o show_v he_o that_o i_o be_v in_o any_o pain_n and_o in_o continue_v so_o even_o till_o he_o expire_v as_o if_o i_o have_v feel_v no_o trouble_n at_o all_o though_o yet_o it_o be_v very_o true_a that_o when_o i_o see_v he_o come_v to_o be_v upon_o the_o very_a point_n to_o loose_v his_o life_n it_o seem_v to_o i_o as_o if_o my_o own_o very_a soul_n have_v then_o be_v tear_v out_o of_o my_o body_n for_o i_o love_v he_o much_o it_o be_v a_o thing_n to_o make_v our_o lord_n be_v high_o praise_v to_o see_v the_o death_n which_o my_o father_n die_v together_o with_o the_o desire_n which_o he_o also_o have_v to_o die_v and_o the_o counsel_n which_o he_o give_v we_o after_o he_o have_v receive_v extreme_a unction_n and_o how_o he_o charge_v we_o to_o recommend_v he_o to_o god_n and_o that_o we_o shall_v beg_v mercy_n of_o he_o for_o his_o soul_n and_o that_o we_o must_v serve_v he_o ever_o and_o consider_v that_o all_o this_o world_n must_v come_v to_o end_v with_o tear_n he_o also_o tell_v we_o how_o sad_a he_o be_v at_o the_o hart_n for_o not_o have_v serve_v his_o divine_a majesty_n better_o that_o he_o wish_v he_o be_v some_o religious_a man_n i_o mean_v that_o he_o have_v be_v so_o and_o that_o of_o the_o most_o strict_a who_o be_v in_o the_o world_n and_o i_o hold_v it_o for_o very_o certain_a that_o some_o fifteen_o day_n before_o our_o lord_n give_v he_o to_o understand_v that_o he_o be_v not_o to_o live_v because_o before_o that_o very_a time_n he_o do_v not_o think_v he_o be_v sick_a though_o yet_o he_o be_v so_o in_o good_a earnest_n but_o afterward_o though_o he_o seem_v to_o mend_v much_o in_o point_n of_o health_n and_o though_o the_o doctor_n bid_v he_o believe_v that_o there_o be_v no_o danger_n at_o all_o yet_o he_o make_v no_o account_n of_o that_o but_o only_o attend_v to_o put_v his_o soul_n in_o good_a order_n that_o sickness_n of_o he_o begin_v with_o a_o very_a grievous_a pain_n round_o about_o his_o shoulder_n which_o never_o leave_v he_o and_o sometime_o it_o press_v he_o

for_o the_o make_v a_o little_a more_o prayer_n we_o shall_v outstripp_a they_o who_o yet_o be_v subject_a to_o so_o great_a penance_n bless_a be_v thou_o o_o lord_n who_o have_v make_v i_o so_o unprofitable_a and_o unuseful_a but_o yet_o i_o praise_v thou_o after_o a_o extraordinary_a manner_n in_o regard_n that_o thou_o awake_v so_o very_a many_o who_o may_v awake_v us._n and_o we_o shall_v do_v well_o to_o make_v very_o continual_a prayer_n for_o they_o who_o give_v we_o light_n for_o what_o will_v become_v of_o we_o without_o they_o in_o the_o midst_n of_o so_o great_a tempest_n as_o be_v now_o in_o the_o church_n if_o some_o man_n have_v be_v wicked_a the_o good_a will_v shine_v the_o bright_a by_o their_o mean_n i_o beseech_v our_o lord_n to_o hold_v they_o up_o with_o his_o hand_n that_o he_o may_v help_v such_o as_o help_v we_o amen_n i_o have_v travail_v far_o out_o of_o the_o way_n from_o that_o which_o i_o be_v go_v to_o say_v but_o all_o will_v serve_v the_o turn_n for_o beginner_n to_o the_o end_n that_o they_o may_v so_o put_v themselves_o upon_o this_o high_a way_n that_o it_o may_v also_o prove_v to_o they_o a_o true_a way_n return_v therefore_o to_o what_o i_o say_v of_o note_n meditate_v upon_o christ_n our_o lord_n at_o the_o pillar_n it_o be_v good_a to_o discourse_v a_o while_n and_o to_o think_v upon_o the_o pain_n which_o he_o feel_v there_o and_o why_o he_o feel_v it_o and_o who_o it_o be_v that_o feel_v it_o and_o the_o love_n wherewith_o he_o feel_v it_o yet_o let_v not_o the_o party_n weary_a himself_o by_o go_v about_o to_o seek_v all_o this_o but_o let_v he_o remain_v still_o there_o with_o a_o calm_a and_o quiet_a kind_n of_o understanding_n if_o he_o can_v let_v he_o employ_v himself_o upon_o consider_v who_o look_v upon_o he_o and_o let_v he_o accompany_v he_o and_o beg_v of_o he_o and_o humble_v himself_o before_o he_o and_o regale_n himself_o with_o he_o and_o in_o fine_a let_v he_o remember_v that_o our_o lord_n deserve_v not_o to_o be_v there_o whensoever_o you_o shall_v be_v able_a to_o do_v this_o though_o it_o shall_v fall_v out_o to_o be_v at_o the_o very_a beginning_n of_o your_o prayer_n you_o will_v find_v great_a benefit_n by_o it_o nay_o many_o benefit_n be_v acquire_v by_o this_o manner_n of_o prayer_n and_o at_o least_o my_o soul_n find_v it_o so_o i_o know_v not_o whether_o i_o hit_v right_a in_o declare_v myself_o but_o your_o reverence_n will_v consider_v of_o that_o and_o i_o beseech_v our_o bless_a lord_n that_o i_o may_v hit_v right_a in_o everlasting_o please_v he_o amen_n the_o fourteenth_n chapter_n she_o begin_v to_o declare_v the_o second_o degree_n of_o prayer_n wherein_o our_o lord_n be_v already_o please_v to_o give_v the_o soul_n more_o particular_a gust_n which_o she_o relate_v to_o the_o end_n that_o she_o may_v make_v they_o be_v understand_v to_o be_v supernatural_a this_o discourse_n be_v very_o much_o to_o be_v note_v since_o now_o it_o be_v already_o declare_v with_o how_o much_o labour_n this_o orchard_n be_v water_v and_o how_o by_o the_o strength_n of_o the_o arm_n the_o water_n be_v to_o be_v get_v out_o of_o the_o well_o we_o must_v say_v somewhat_o of_o that_o second_o way_n of_o drawing-up_a this_o water_n which_o the_o lord_n of_o the_o garden_n have_v ordain_v that_o so_o by_o this_o artifice_n of_o the_o wheel_n with_o those_o little_a bucket_n which_o belong_v to_o it_o the_o gardener_n may_v draw_v out_o more_o water_n and_o with_o less_o trouble_n and_o may_v be_v able_a to_o rest_v now_o and_o then_o and_o not_o be_v continual_o in_o labour_n now_o this_o way_n be_v apply_v to_o prayer_n which_o be_v wont_a to_o be_v call_v quiet_a prayer_n be_v that_o whereof_o now_o i_o will_v treat_v the_o soul_n do_v here_o begin_v to_o recollect_v and_o as_o it_o be_v shut_v itself_o up_o and_o it_o touch_v a_o little_a here_o upon_o the_o supernatural_a because_o the_o power_n thereof_o can_v by_o no_o mean_n gain_v this_o for_o itself_o by_o all_o the_o diligence_n which_o it_o can_v possible_o use_v it_o be_v true_a that_o sometime_o she_o may_v seem_v to_o have_v wearled_a herself_o in_o go_v round_o about_o the_o turn_n and_o to_o have_v labour_v hard_o with_o the_o understanding_n and_o so_o to_o have_v filled-up_a the_o little_a buckett_n but_o here_o the_o water_n be_v growne-up_a to_o be_v high_a and_o so_o she_o labour_v much_o less_o than_o she_o do_v in_o draw_v it_o out_o of_o the_o well_o i_o say_v the_o water_n be_v grow_v near_o to_o she_o because_o grace_n give_v itself_o now_o to_o be_v more_o clear_o know_v by_o the_o soul_n this_o be_v a_o kind_n of_o recollect_v and_o as_o it_o be_v a_o shutting-up_a of_o the_o power_n of_o the_o soul_n into_o herself_o that_o so_o she_o may_v be_v able_a to_o enjoy_v the_o contentment_n which_o then_o she_o have_v with_o more_o gust_n but_o yet_o the_o use_n of_o the_o faculty_n be_v not_o lose_v nor_o do_v they_o sleep_v but_o only_o the_o will_n be_v employ_v and_o possess_v in_o such_o sort_n that_o it_o be_v grow_v to_o be_v captive_v though_o yet_o itself_o know_v not_o how_o only_a it_o give_v consent_v that_o almighty_a god_n may_v put_v it_o in_o prison_n as_o one_o who_o understand_v now_o very_o well_o how_o to_o let_v itself_o be_v make_v prisoner_n to_o who_o it_o love_v o_o my_o dear_a jesus_n and_o my_o lord_n of_o how_o much_o worth_n be_v thy_o love_n to_o we_o in_o this_o case_n since_o it_o hold_v our_o love_n fast_o in_o so_o strong_a chain_n that_o it_o leave_v we_o not_o even_o liberty_n at_o that_o instant_n to_o love_v any_o other_o thing_n than_o thyself_o the_o other_o two_o faculty_n which_o be_v the_o understanding_n and_o memory_n be_v then_o assist_v the_o will_n to_o the_o end_n that_o they_o may_v go_v enable_v it_o to_o enjoy_v so_o great_a a_o good_a although_o now_o and_o then_o it_o happen_v that_o howsoever_o they_o be_v even_o thus_o unite_v to_o the_o will_n they_o yet_o be_v apt_a enough_o sometime_o to_o dis-assist_a it_o much_o but_o in_o this_o case_n let_v not_o the_o will_v make_v any_o great_a account_n of_o that_o but_o remain_v still_o in_o her_o quietness_n and_o joy_n for_o mind_n if_o she_o shall_v persist_v in_o resolve_v to_o recollect_v those_o other_o faculty_n to_o herself_o both_o they_o and_o she_o will_v loose_v by_o the_o bargain_n for_o they_o be_v then_o as_o so_o many_o dove_n who_o content_v not_o themselves_o with_o the_o food_n or_o bait_n which_o the_o lord_n of_o the_o dove-house_n present_v without_o their_o labour_v for_o it_o but_o they_o go_v to_o seek_v it_o in_o other_o place_n though_o yet_o they_o soon_o grow_v to_o find_v it_o so_o bad_a that_o they_o quick_o return_v again_o and_o so_o come_v and_o go_v to_o see_v whether_o the_o will_n may_v be_v bring_v to_o bestow_v any_o part_n of_o that_o upon_o they_o which_o it_o enjoy_v and_o if_o our_o lord_n please_v to_o cast_v they_o any_o food_n they_o stay_v and_o if_o not_o they_o go_v again_o to_o seek_v it_o and_o all_o this_o while_n they_o conceive_v that_o they_o be_v even_o of_o use_n and_o benefit_n to_o the_o will_n itself_o though_o yet_o sometime_o both_o the_o memory_n and_o imagination_n even_o whilst_o they_o have_v a_o desire_n to_o represent_v that_o better_a to_o she_o which_o she_o enjoy_v fall_v out_o to_o do_v her_o hurt_n in_o stead_n of_o good_a let_v she_o therefore_o be_v content_a to_o carry_v herself_o so_o towards_o they_o as_o i_o shall_v here_o advise_v since_o all_o that_o which_o pass_v here_o be_v of_o extreme_a consolation_n and_o be_v obtain_v with_o so_o little_a labour_n that_o prayer_n never_o weary_v one_o here_o though_o it_o chance_v to_o last_v very_o long_o because_o the_o understanding_n go_v work_v now_o at_o great_a leisure_n and_o walk_v as_o it_o be_v foot_n by_o foot_n and_o brings-up_a another_o manner_n of_o quantity_n of_o water_n then_o former_o it_o draw_v out_o of_o the_o well_o and_o the_o tear_n which_o god_n give_v in_o this_o case_n come_v already_o with_o very_o great_a joy_n which_o howsoever_o we_o feel_v yet_o we_o procure_v they_o not_o this_o prayer_n water_n of_o the_o well_o which_o import_v the_o great_a blessing_n and_o favour_n which_o our_o bless_a lord_n show_v we_o here_o make_v our_o virtue_n increase_n incomparable_o more_o than_o that_o other_o of_o the_o former_a degree_n of_o prayer_n do_v because_o now_o the_o soul_n be_v already_o beginning_n to_o get_v up_o away_o from_o her_o own_o misery_n and_o already_o she_o grow_v to_o be_v allow_v to_o have_v some_o small_a notice_n even_o of_o the_o gust_n of_o glory_n and_o this_o i_o think_v make_v she_o thrive_v and_o

better_o set_v down_o and_o it_o seem_v to_o be_v as_o when_o one_o have_v a_o original_a before_o he_o and_o then_o he_o may_v easy_o take-out_a the_o copy_n but_o if_o the_o spirit_n be_v want_v there_o be_v no_o more_o power_n and_o mean_n to_o make_v one_o word_n of_o this_o language_n suit_n well_o with_o a_o other_o then_o if_o as_o we_o may_v say_v we_o will_v suit_n spanish_n and_o turkish_a together_o even_o though_o we_o shall_v have_v exercise_v ourselves_o many_o year_n in_o prayer_n and_o therefore_o i_o think_v it_o be_v of_o very_o great_a advantage_n when_o i_o write_v if_o i_o be_v then_o in_o state_n of_o prayer_n for_o i_o see_v clear_o that_o it_o be_v not_o i_o who_o declare_v it_o nor_o who_o do_v either_o order_n it_o then_o with_o my_o understanding_n nor_o yet_o know_v afterward_o how_o i_o declare_v it_o before_o and_o this_o happen_v to_o i_o very_o often_o but_o now_o let_v we_o goe-back_a to_o our_o orchard_n or_o garden_n and_o see_v how_o these_o tree_n begin_v to_o button_n and_o budd-out_a towards_o flower_a that_o they_o may_v afterward_o yield_v fruit_n and_o how_o these_o gillie-flower_n and_o other_o odoriferous_a plant_n dispose_v themselves_o to_o give_v delight_n full_o send_v to_o the_o owner_n i_o confess_v that_o this_o comparison_n regales_fw-la and_o please_v i_o much_o for_o many_o time_n in_o my_o beginning_n and_o i_o humble_o beseech_v our_o lord_n that_o even_o yet_o i_o may_v have_v be_v a_o beginner_n to_o serve_v his_o divine_a majesty_n i_o say_v in_o those_o beginning_n of_o that_o which_o i_o shall_v say_v afterward_o of_o my_o life_n it_o be_v of_o much_o delight_n to_o i_o to_o consider_v that_o my_o soul_n be_v a_o garden_n and_o that_o our_o lord_n walk_v in_o it_o up_o and_o down_o and_o i_o humble_o pray_v he_o to_o increase_v the_o odour_n of_o those_o little_a young_a flower_n of_o virtue_n which_o show_v in_o all_o appearance_n that_o they_o will_v be_v glad_a to_o find_v mean_n to_o sprout_v and_o that_o also_o they_o may_v serve_v for_o his_o glory_n and_o that_o he_o will_v be_v please_v to_o sustain_v they_o since_o i_o desire_v nothing_o for_o myself_o and_o that_o he_o will_v also_o dress_v and_o prune_v as_o many_o of_o they_o as_o he_o please_v for_o already_o i_o know_v well_o enough_o that_o they_o will_v thrive_v and_o grow_v the_o better_a afterward_o i_o say_v that_o he_o will_v cut_v and_o prune_v they_o in_o regard_n that_o some_o such_o time_n arrive_v now_o and_o then_o to_o the_o soul_n as_o wherein_o there_o be_v no_o appearance_n leave_v of_o this_o garden_n at_o all_o but_o then_o all_o seem_v to_o be_v wither_v and_o dry_a and_o that_o there_o never_o will_v come_v more_o water_n to_o sustain_v it_o yea_o and_o that_o there_o also_o seem_v to_o have_v never_o be_v any_o virtue_n in_o that_o soul_n in_o this_o case_n it_o undergo_v great_a affliction_n because_o our_o lord_n be_v please_v that_o the_o poor_a gardner_n may_v conceive_v that_o all_o that_o care_n be_v lose_v which_o he_o have_v former_o employ_v upon_o sustain_v and_o improve_v his_o garden_n but_o then_o comes-in_a the_o time_n of_o true_a plucking-up_a and_o rooting-out_a all_o those_o little_a paltry_a herb_n which_o till_o then_o have_v remain_v there_o how_o little_a soever_o they_o may_v be_v with_o make_v we_o also_o know_v that_o no_o diligence_n of_o we_o will_v serve_v if_o almighty_a god_n take_v the_o water_n of_o his_o grace_n from_o we_o that_o so_o in_o fine_a we_o may_v come_v to_o hold_v this_o poor_a miserable_a nothing_o of_o we_o in_o no_o manner_n of_o account_n yea_o and_o if_o the_o thing_n be_v possible_a even_o for_o less_o than_o nothing_o for_o here_o great_a humility_n make_v we_o the_o gainer_n since_o the_o flower_n will_v thus_o grow_v to_o reflourish_v o_o thou_o my_o lord_n and_o my_o god_n for_o i_o know_v not_o how_o to_o say_v this_o without_o tear_n and_o without_o a_o great_a regalo_n to_o this_o poor_a soul_n of_o i_o be_v it_o possible_a o_o my_o lord_n that_o thou_o be_v please_v to_o be_v thus_o among_o we_o yea_o and_o thou_o remain_v in_o the_o b._n sacrament_n which_o may_v well_o be_v with_o all_o truth_n believe_v because_o so_o it_o be_v and_o we_o may_v with_o much_o truth_n make_v this_o comparison_n and_o if_o it_o be_v not_o through_o our_o own_o fault_n we_o may_v enjoy_v ourselves_o together_o with_o thou_o yea_o and_o thou_o do_v also_o rejoice_v to_o be_v with_o we_o since_o thou_o declare_v that_o it_o be_v thy_o delight_n to_o be_v with_o the_o child_n of_o man_n o_o my_o lord_n what_o be_v this_o for_o whensoever_o i_o hear_v but_o this_o word_n it_o be_v to_o i_o of_o great_a consolation_n yea_o and_o be_v so_o when_o i_o find_v myself_o in_o the_o worst_a condition_n but_o be_v it_o possible_a after_o this_o o_o my_o dear_a lord_n that_o there_o shall_v be_v in_o the_o whole_a world_n any_o one_o soul_n which_o arrive_v to_o receive_v such_o favour_n and_o regalo_n at_o thy_o hand_n and_o understanding_n that_o thou_o reioyc_a so_o high_o in_o she_o shall_v yet_o return_v to_o offend_v thou_o after_o the_o receive_n of_o so_o many_o favour_n and_o so_o great_a demonstration_n of_o the_o love_n thou_o bear_v she_o in_o such_o sort_n as_o that_o they_o can_v possible_o be_v doubt_v since_o the_o effect_n do_v so_o manifest_o declare_v it_o yes_o yes_o it_o be_v most_o certain_a that_o there_o be_v such_o a_o soul_n in_o the_o world_n which_o have_v offend_v thou_o and_o that_o not_o once_o but_o often_o yea_o and_o i_o be_o this_o very_a soul_n and_o i_o beseech_v thy_o divine_a goodness_n o_o my_o lord_n that_o i_o may_v have_v be_v the_o only_o creature_n who_o ever_o commit_v so_o high_a a_o wickedness_n and_o who_o have_v be_v guilty_a of_o such_o a_o excessive_a ingratitude_n against_o thou_o though_o yet_o already_o even_o from_o this_o very_a misery_n of_o i_o thy_o infinite_a goodness_n have_v be_v able_a to_o draw_v some_o advantage_n yea_o and_o even_o by_o how_o much_o the_o ill_n have_v be_v great_a the_o great_a benignity_n of_o thy_o mercy_n have_v shine_v so_o much_o the_o more_o but_o now_o with_o how_o much_o reason_n may_v i_o resolve_v to_o celebrate_v they_o for_o all_o eternity_n i_o most_o humble_o beseech_v thou_o o_o my_o god_n that_o it_o may_v be_v so_o and_o that_o i_o may_v sing_v praise_n to_o thou_o for_o ever_o since_o now_o thou_o have_v vouchsafe_v to_o show_v thy_o goodness_n so_o high_o and_o so_o great_o to_o i_o that_o such_o as_o see_v it_o be_v amaze_v and_o as_o for_o i_o they_o carry_v i_o very_o often_o even_o out_o of_o myself_o and_o if_o i_o shall_v once_o find_v that_o i_o be_v deprive_v of_o thou_o i_o can_v be_v fit_a o_o my_o lord_n for_o nothing_o but_o to_o return_v to_o be_v such_o a_o kind_n of_o garden_n as_o that_o the_o flower_n be_v plucked-up_a yet_o once_o again_o this_o miserable_a earth_n of_o i_o will_v return_v to_o be_v a_o direct_a dunghill_n as_o it_o be_v before_o to_o the_o end_n therefore_o that_o i_o may_v praise_v thou_o the_o better_a permit_v not_o i_o beseech_v thou_o o_o my_o lord_n that_o this_o soul_n may_v ever_o grow_v to_o be_v lose_v which_o thou_o have_v buy_v with_o so_o many_o affliction_n of_o thy_o own_o and_o which_o thou_o have_v so_o often_o repurchase_v again_o and_o again_o and_o take_v from_o out_o of_o the_o very_a tooth_n of_o that_o hideous_a dragon_n of_o hell_n i_o beseech_v your_o reverence_n excuse_v i_o for_o speak_v thus_o from_o the_o purpose_n and_o do_v not_o wonder_v at_o it_o since_o it_o be_v at_o least_o to_o my_o own_o purpose_n to_o speak_v as_o i_o do_v for_o it_o happen_v according_a to_o those_o apprehension_n and_o reflection_n which_o the_o soul_n chance_v to_o make_v when_o one_o write_v and_o sometime_o it_o falls-out_a to_o be_v hard_o enough_o to_o forbear_v to_o celebrate_v the_o praise_n of_o almighty_a god_n when_o it_o happen_v that_o the_o pen_n represent_v such_o thing_n as_o express_v the_o high_a obligation_n which_o we_o have_v to_o his_o divine_a majesty_n and_o i_o believe_v that_o this_o will_v be_v no_o way_n displease_v to_o your_o reverence_n for_o i_o be_o of_o opinion_n that_o we_o may_v both_o of_o we_o do_v very_o well_o to_o sing_v one_o song_n though_o yet_o after_o a_o different_a manner_n because_o it_o be_v much_o more_o which_o i_o owe_v to_o almighty_a god_n than_o you_o in_o regard_n that_o he_o have_v pardon_v i_o more_o sin_n as_o your_o reverence_n know_v very_o well_o the_o fifteen_o chapter_n she_o prosecute_v her_o discourse_n of_o the_o same_o matter_n and_o give_v some_o advice_n how_o person_n be_v to_o carry_v themselves_o in_o this_o kind_n

eat_v of_o it_o for_o just_a so_o do_v the_o soul_n not_o satisfy_v herself_o nor_o be_v content_a to_o feed_v upon_o the_o meat_n of_o this_o world_n because_o she_o find_v that_o in_o herself_o which_o give_v her_o satisfaction_n it_o be_v the_o far_o great_a contentment_n which_o she_o have_v in_o almighty_a god_n and_o her_o desire_n also_o be_v to_o satisfy_v even_o those_o desire_n of_o she_o and_o this_o be_v that_o which_o she_o procure_v there_o be_v also_o another_o kind_n of_o union_n which_o even_o yet_o be_v not_o so_o much_o as_o a_o absolute_a and_o entire_a union_n though_o it_o be_v great_a than_o that_o of_o which_o i_o be_v speak_v before_o and_o not_o altogether_o so_o great_a as_o that_o of_o this_o three_o water_n and_o your_o reverence_n will_v be_v very_o glad_a suppose_v that_o our_o lord_n bestow_v they_o all_o upon_o you_o if_o you_o have_v they_o not_o already_o to_o find_v it_o write_v thus_o and_o direct_o to_o understand_v what_o it_o be_v for_o it_o be_v one_o kind_n of_o favour_n for_o our_o lord_n to_o impart_v the_o same_o very_a favour_n and_o another_o to_o understand_v what_o grace_n and_o favour_n that_o be_v yea_o and_o yet_o another_o to_o be_v able_a to_o unfold_v and_o declare_v how_o it_o pass_v and_o howsoever_o it_o may_v seem_v that_o there_o may_v no_o more_o than_o the_o first_o of_o these_o three_o be_v needful_a for_o the_o keep_n of_o the_o soul_n from_o be_v in_o a_o kind_n of_o confusion_n and_o fear_v and_o for_o enable_v it_o to_o go_v forward_o with_o more_o courage_n in_o the_o way_n of_o our_o lord_n even_o tread_v with_o the_o very_a foot_n thereof_o upon_o all_o the_o thing_n of_o this_o world_n yet_o be_v it_o a_o favour_n of_o so_o great_a advantage_n to_o understand_v it_o that_o it_o be_v reason_n that_o both_o he_o who_o have_v it_o and_o even_o he_o also_o who_o have_v it_o not_o shall_v praise_v our_o lord_n much_o for_o it_o because_o his_o divine_a majesty_n have_v be_v please_v to_o give_v it_o to_o some_o one_o who_o be_v yet_o alive_a to_o the_o end_n that_o he_o may_v also_o do_v we_o good_a now_o it_o happen_v also_o many_o time_n to_o i_o that_o i_o have_v this_o manner_n of_o union_n whereof_o i_o be_o speak_v for_o it_o please_v almighty_a god_n to_o do_v i_o this_o favour_n very_o very_o often_o and_o that_o god_n recollect_n and_o take_v hold_v of_o my_o will_n yea_o and_o also_o in_o my_o opinion_n of_o my_o understanding_n for_o then_o it_o discourse_v no_o long_o but_o be_v employ_v upon_o enjoy_v almighty_a god_n as_o one_o who_o stand_v look_v and_o look_v and_o see_v so_o very_a much_o that_o he_o know_v not_o indeed_o which_o way_n to_o look_v for_o one_o thing_n instant_o appear_v which_o take_v away_o the_o sight_n of_o the_o other_o and_o so_o nothing_o make_v any_o impression_n at_o all_o the_o memory_n remain_v free_a and_o so_o also_o do_v the_o imagination_n seem_v to_o do_v and_o this_o imagination_n when_o it_o find_v itself_o thus_o all_o alone_a that_o be_v without_o be_v control_v by_o the_o understanding_n it_o will_v make_v a_o body_n wonder_v extreme_o to_o see_v what_o a_o coil_n it_o keep_v and_o what_o a_o war_n it_o make_v and_o procure_v to_o put_v all_o out_o of_o order_n for_o my_o part_n i_o be_o sure_a it_o tire_v i_o and_o i_o be_o also_o sure_a that_o i_o abhor_v it_o and_o i_o have_v often_o beseech_v our_o lord_n that_o if_o it_o must_v needs_o distract_v i_o still_o after_o this_o manner_n he_o will_v be_v please_v to_o take_v it_o from_o i_o in_o these_o occasion_n and_o sometime_o i_o presume_v to_o say_v thus_o to_o he_o when_o o_o my_o god_n be_v this_o whole_a soul_n of_o i_o to_o be_v entire_o unite_v in_o thy_o praise_n and_o not_o divide_v thus_o into_o piece_n without_o be_v so_o much_o as_o able_a to_o serve_v herself_o of_o herself_o but_o here_o do_v i_o in_o the_o mean_a time_n discern_v the_o mischief_n which_o have_v be_v bring_v upon_o we_o by_o sin_n since_o it_o make_v we_o be_v so_o subject_a to_o the_o not_o do_v of_o what_o we_o so_o much_o desire_v which_o be_v to_o be_v ever_o busy_v about_o almighty_a god_n i_o say_v this_o happen_v to_o i_o diverse_a time_n and_o one_o of_o those_o time_n be_v this_o very_a day_n and_o so_o i_o may_v the_o better_a remember_v it_o for_o in_o fine_a i_o see_v my_o soul_n even_o dissolve_v and_o defeat_v herself_o through_o the_o desire_n which_o she_o have_v to_o be_v whole_o there_o where_o she_o find_v herself_o for_o the_o most_o part_n to_o be_v already_o and_o yet_o that_o this_o be_v impossible_a because_o both_o the_o memory_n and_o imagination_n do_v still_o make_v such_o war_n upon_o she_o that_o they_o suffer_v she_o not_o to_o work_v like_o herself_o and_o though_o they_o be_v not_o able_a to_o do_v she_o any_o hurt_n in_o regard_n that_o the_o other_o power_n and_o faculty_n be_v want_v yet_o indeed_o they_o may_v well_o be_v think_v to_o do_v hurt_v enough_o by_o the_o disquiet_n they_o give_v but_o yet_o still_o i_o say_v that_o they_o do_v she_o proper_o no_o hurt_n because_o indeed_o they_o have_v no_o strength_n nor_o do_v they_o fix_v themselves_o in_o any_o one_o be_v or_o state_n and_o in_o regard_n that_o the_o understanding_n do_v not_o help_v the_o imagination_n in_o that_o which_o it_o represent_v either_o more_o or_o less_o it_o can_v fasten_v upon_o any_o thing_n but_o skipp_n up_o &_o down_o from_o one_o to_o another_o and_o it_o be_v like_o those_o importunate_a and_o unquiet_a little_a gnatt_n which_o buzz_n and_o whizz_v by_o night_n here_o and_o there_o for_o just_a so_o be_v these_o power_n wont_a to_o go_v from_o one_o to_o another_o this_o comparison_n seem_v to_o i_o to_o be_v extreme_o proper_a for_o though_o these_o inferior_a faculty_n have_v not_o strength_n and_o mean_n to_o do_v harm_n yet_o be_v they_o troublesome_a enough_o to_o such_o as_o feel_v they_o not_o do_v i_o know_v what_o remedy_n there_o be_v against_o this_o inconvenience_n for_o hitherto_o almighty_a god_n have_v not_o enable_v i_o to_o find_v any_o out_o &_o if_o he_o have_v i_o will_v have_v be_v very_o glad_a to_o use_v it_o for_o it_o torment_v i_o as_o i_o say_v very_o often_o but_o in_o this_o be_v our_o misery_n make_v apparent_a to_o we_o and_o so_o also_o do_v the_o power_n of_o almighty_a god_n shine_v very_o clear_o in_o it_o since_o this_o faculty_n of_o the_o soul_n which_o be_v loose_a can_v put_v we_o to_o so_o much_o trouble_n and_o so_o tire_v we_o whilst_o yet_o those_o other_o which_o be_v employ_v and_o do_v attend_v so_o near_o to_o his_o divine_a majesty_n make_v we_o feel_v so_o much_o ease_n &_o joy_n the_o last_o remedy_n upon_o which_o i_o have_v fall_v after_o my_o have_v weary_v myself_o many_o year_n be_v that_o whereof_o i_o speak_v in_o quiet_a prayer_n that_o we_o shall_v make_v no_o more_o account_n thereof_o than_o we_o will_v of_o some_o starke-madd-foole_n but_o to_o let_v it_o still_o alone_o in_o tell_v that_o impertinent_a idle_a tale_n wherein_o god_n only_o can_v impose_v silence_n and_o since_o in_o fine_a it_o remain_v to_o we_o here_o in_o the_o nature_n of_o a_o slave_n we_o must_v be_v content_a to_o endure_v it_o as_o jacob_n do_v lya_n for_o our_o lord_n do_v we_o favour_n enough_o to_o permit_v that_o we_o may_v enjoy_v rachel_n i_o say_v that_o it_o remain_v as_o a_o slave_n by_o reason_n that_o it_o can_v draw_v the_o other_o power_n or_o faculty_n to_o it_o how_o vehement_o soever_o it_o may_v strive_v but_o rather_o they_o draw_v it_o often_o to_o they_o without_o any_o difficulty_n at_o all_o yea_o and_o sometime_o our_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o have_v pity_n to_o see_v even_o the_o imagination_n itself_o so_o very_o much_o disquiet_v and_o lose_v through_o desire_n to_o be_v in_o company_n with_o the_o other_o faculty_n and_o power_n of_o the_o mind_n and_o then_o his_o divine_a majesty_n be_v content_a that_o it_o also_o may_v be_v burn_v up_o in_o the_o fire_n of_o that_o divine_a taper_n where_o those_o other_o be_v already_o even_o consume_v to_o dust_n and_o where_o have_v as_o it_o be_v even_o lose_v their_o natural_a be_v they_o be_v enjoy_v so_o great_a blessing_n in_o a_o supernatural_a kind_n in_o all_o these_o way_n of_o this_o last_o fountain-water_n whereof_o i_o have_v speak_v the_o peaceful_a rest_n and_o glory_n of_o the_o soul_n be_v so_o great_a that_o even_o the_o body_n do_v very_o manifest_o participate_v of_o that_o joy_n and_o delight_n i_o say_v it_o do_v so_o very_o manifest_o yea_o and_o the_o virtue_n also_o of_o the_o mind_n increase_n and_o grow_v strong_a as_o i_o have_v say_v

have_v already_o show_v that_o there_o be_v then_o no_o power_n at_o all_o to_o do_v any_o thing_n that_o i_o express_v myself_o to_o his_o divine_a majesty_n much_o after_o this_o manner_n o_o lord_n consider_v well_o what_o thou_o do_v forget_v not_o my_o so_o very_a grievous_a sin_n so_o very_o soon_o and_o though_o thou_o have_v forget_v they_o so_o far_o as_o to_o vouchsafe_v to_o forgive_v they_o yet_o remember_v they_o also_o i_o humble_o beseech_v thou_o so_o far_o as_o to_o make_v thou_o put_v some_o limit_n upon_o those_o favour_n which_o thou_o be_v please_v to_o bestow_v upon_o i_o pour_v not_o o_o my_o creator_n so_o precious_a a_o liquor_n as_o that_o into_o so_o break_v a_o vessel_n as_o this_o since_o already_o thou_o have_v see_v how_o often_o i_o have_v scatter_v and_o spill_v it_o o_o lodge_v not_o and_o trust_v not_o such_o a_o treasure_n as_o this_o where_o the_o appetite_n and_o affection_n to_o all_o the_o consolation_n of_o this_o life_n be_v not_o yet_o so_o total_o lose_v and_o spend_v as_o it_o ought_v to_o be_v for_o if_o thou_o do_v it_o will_v be_v utter_o waste_v how_o can_v thou_o find_v in_o thy_o hart_n to_o deliver_v the_o strength_n of_o this_o city_n and_o even_o the_o very_a key_n of_o the_o fort_n into_o the_o hand_n of_o such_o a_o cowardly_a commander_n who_o be_v likely_a not_o to_o fail_v to_o give_v the_o enemy_n entrance_n upon_o the_o first_o assault_n which_o he_o shall_v make_v let_v not_o o_o my_o eternal_a king_n thy_o love_n to_o i_o be_v so_o great_a as_o that_o it_o shall_v make_v thou_o put_v such_o precious_a jewel_n as_o these_o into_o hazard_n and_o to_o i_o it_o seem_v o_o my_o lord_n that_o thou_o may_v give_v the_o world_n occasion_n hereby_o to_o undervalue_v these_o great_a favour_n of_o thou_o since_o thou_o put_v they_o into_o the_o custody_n and_o power_n of_o a_o creature_n who_o be_v so_o wicked_a so_o base_a so_o weak_a so_o miserable_a and_o of_o so_o little_a worth_n in_o any_o kind_n who_o though_o i_o now_o begin_v to_o labour_n that_o i_o may_v not_o utter_o loose_v they_o through_o thy_o favour_n which_o also_o have_v no_o need_n to_o be_v little_a consider_v what_o kind_n of_o thing_n i_o be_o shall_v yet_o be_v never_o able_a to_o gain_v any_o other_o creature_n to_o thou_o by_o mean_n thereof_o in_o fine_a i_o be_o a_o woman_n and_o no_o good_a woman_n but_o a_o very_a wicked_a one_o and_o it_o seem_v that_o these_o talent_n of_o thou_o be_v thus_o not_o only_o to_o be_v hide_v by_o this_o mean_n but_o even_o to_o be_v quite_o bury_v up_o since_o thou_o put_v they_o into_o so_o ungracious_a and_o unlucky_a a_o soil_n thou_o be_v not_o wont_a o_o lord_n to_o impart_v such_o favour_n and_o greatness_n as_o these_o to_o any_o soul_n but_o when_o there_o may_v be_v hope_n that_o she_o will_v be_v able_a to_o gain_v many_o other_o to_o thy_o service_n and_o thou_o know_v o_o my_o god_n already_o that_o i_o have_v sometime_o beg_v this_o favour_n and_o still_o i_o beg_v it_o of_o thou_o with_o my_o whole_a hart_n and_o with_o the_o entire_a affection_n thereof_o and_o i_o be_o resolve_v to_o think_v it_o fit_a to_o be_v content_a to_o loose_v the_o high_a blessing_n which_o can_v possible_o be_v enjoy_v upon_o earth_n to_o the_o end_n that_o thou_o may_v vouchsafe_v it_o to_o some_o other_o who_o will_v profit_v more_o by_o it_o that_o so_o thy_o own_o glory_n may_v be_v increase_v both_o these_o and_o such_o other_o thing_n as_o these_o have_v it_o occur_v to_o i_o to_o utter_v many_o time_n but_o yet_o afterward_o i_o perceive_v i_o own_o great_a folly_n herein_o together_o with_o my_o little_a humility_n for_o our_o lord_n know_v very_o well_o what_o be_v fit_a for_o every_o creature_n and_o that_o there_o be_v not_o to_o be_v strength_n enough_o in_o my_o soul_n whereby_o she_o may_v ever_o grow_v to_o be_v save_v if_o his_o divine_a majesty_n have_v not_o enrich_v she_o with_o so_o great_a favour_n but_o i_o also_o now_o pretend_v to_o declare_v the_o grace_n and_o effect_n prayer_n which_o remain_v by_o this_o prayer_n in_o the_o soul_n and_o what_o that_o be_v which_o she_o may_v be_v able_a to_o do_v of_o herself_o and_o if_o she_o may_v any_o way_n conduce_v towards_o the_o bring_n herself_o to_o this_o high_a state_n it_o happen_v that_o this_o elevation_n of_o the_o spirit_n or_o union_n come_v both_o of_o they_o with_o a_o celestial_a kind_n of_o love._n for_o according_a to_o my_o way_n of_o understanding_n this_o union_n union_n be_v a_o different_a thing_n from_o elevation_n though_o yet_o the_o soul_n be_v elevate_v in_o this_o very_a union_n whosoever_o have_v not_o try_v and_o feel_v this_o last_o will_v be_v of_o a_o different_a conceit_n but_o yet_o in_o my_o opinion_n though_o even_o it_o shall_v be_v all_o one_o yet_o our_o lord_n work_v therein_o after_o a_o different_a manner_n and_o by_o the_o increase_n which_o the_o soul_n have_v of_o be_v able_a to_o untie_v herself_o from_o the_o love_n of_o all_o creature_n she_o seem_v to_o be_v very_o much_o great_a in_o that_o flight_n and_o elevation_n of_o the_o spirit_n and_o i_o have_v clear_o see_v that_o this_o be_v a_o distinct_a and_o particular_a favour_n although_o the_o thing_n themselves_o may_v be_v all_o one_o as_o i_o say_v or_o at_o least_o may_v seem_v so_o but_o a_o small_a fire_n be_v as_o true_o and_o real_o fire_n as_o a_o great_a one_o and_o yet_o still_o we_o see_v difference_n enough_o between_o the_o one_o and_o the_o other_o for_o before_o a_o little_a iron_n can_v be_v able_a to_o be_v make_v red_a hot_a in_o a_o small_a fire_n a_o good_a space_n of_o time_n will_v be_v spend_v but_o now_o if_o the_o fire_n be_v great_a the_o iron_n though_o it_o be_v also_o great_a will_v loose_v the_o appearance_n of_o iron_n very_o quick_o just_o so_o do_v it_o seem_v to_o i_o to_o happen_v in_o these_o two_o sort_n of_o favour_n from_o our_o bless_a lord_n and_o i_o know_v that_o whosoever_o may_v ever_o have_v arrive_v to_o be_v in_o rapt_v will_v understand_v i_o well_o but_o such_o as_o have_v have_v no_o experience_n therein_o will_v hold_v all_o that_o to_o be_v impertinent_a which_o i_o have_v say_v perhaps_o also_o it_o be_v so_o indeed_o and_o so_o as_o he_o will_v have_v have_v reason_n who_o believe_v it_o for_o how_o shall_v such_o a_o thing_n as_o i_o presume_v to_o speak_v of_o such_o a_o thing_n as_o this_o and_o to_o give_v some_o part_n of_o that_o to_o be_v understand_v which_o it_o seem_v impossible_a even_o to_o begin_v to_o declare_v with_o any_o word_n so_o that_o it_o be_v not_o strange_a a_o whitt_n if_o i_o talk_v idle_o but_o yet_o i_o believe_v this_o of_o our_o bless_a lord_n because_o his_o divine_a majesty_n know_v that_o next_o to_o this_o act_n of_o obedience_n my_o intention_n be_v no_o other_o then_o to_o make_v soul_n even_o as_o it_o be_v gluttonous_a after_o the_o obtain_n of_o so_o high_a a_o good_a that_o he_o will_v be_v please_v to_o assist_v i_o herein_o and_o i_o be_o sure_a i_o will_v say_v nothing_o whereof_o i_o have_v not_o have_v much_o experience_n and_o it_o be_v a_o real_a truth_n that_o when_o i_o begin_v to_o write_v of_o this_o water_n i_o conceive_v it_o to_o be_v a_o more_o impossible_a thing_n for_o i_o to_o treat_v of_o it_o then_o to_o speak_v greek_a so_o very_o hard_o do_v i_o find_v it_o upon_o this_o i_o give_v it_o over_o and_o go_v to_o receive_v the_o bless_a sacrament_n but_o our_o lord_n be_v ever_o praise_v who_o do_v so_o great_a favour_n to_o ignorant_a person_n o_o virtue_n of_o obedience_n which_o be_v able_a to_o do_v all_o thing_n for_o almighty_a god_n do_v illuminate_v my_o understanding_n sometime_o by_o help_v i_o to_o the_o very_a express_a word_n which_o i_o be_v to_o use_v and_o at_o other_o time_n by_o represent_v the_o manner_n to_o i_o how_o i_o shall_v declare_v the_o thing_n so_o that_o as_o his_o divine_a majesty_n be_v please_v to_o do_v in_o the_o former_a degree_n of_o prayer_n it_o seem_v that_o he_o will_v also_o here_o declare_v what_o i_o neither_o can_v nor_o know_v how_o to_o express_v but_o that_o which_o now_o i_o say_v be_v a_o most_o literal_a truth_n and_o so_o that_o which_o shall_v be_v good_a be_v his_o instruction_n and_o doctrine_n and_o whatsoever_o falls-out_a to_o be_v ill_a it_o be_v clear_a that_o it_o proceed_v and_o flow_v from_o this_o deep_a sea_n of_o mischief_n and_o sin_n which_o be_v myself_o and_o therefore_o i_o here_o affirm_v that_o if_o any_o have_v arrive_v to_o these_o point_n and_o particular_n of_o prayer_n wherein_o our_o lord_n have_v do_v so_o great_a favour_n

my_o lord_n who_o haste_n in_o such_o sort_n vouchsafe_v to_o make_v so_o filthy_a a_o fishpond_n as_o i_o be_v become_v so_o pure_a and_o clear_v a_o water_n as_o that_o it_o may_v serve_v for_o thy_o own_o table_n be_v thou_o adore_v and_o praise_v o_o thou_o regalo_n of_o the_o angel_n who_o have_v vouchsafe_v thus_o to_o exalt_v so_o base_a a_o worm_n this_o profit_n of_o the_o soul_n remain_v for_o some_o time_n therein_o and_o now_o she_o can_v already_o understand_v clear_o enough_o that_o the_o fruit_n be_v none_o of_o her_o own_o and_o she_o begin_v to_o give_v part_n of_o it_o to_o other_o without_o ever_o feel_v any_o want_n of_o it_o herself_o she_o now_o begin_v also_o to_o give_v sign_n and_o appearance_n of_o be_v the_o owner_n of_o some_o such_o soul_n as_o it_o to_o be_v a_o jewel-house_n fit_a for_o the_o treasure_n of_o heaven_n and_o to_o carry_v great_a desire_n of_o make_v other_o partake_v they_o and_o humble_o to_o beseech_v almighty_a god_n that_o she_o may_v not_o be_v alone_o in_o possess_v they_o she_o begin_v now_o to_o profit_v her_o neighbour_n without_o almost_o understand_v it_o herself_o and_o without_o her_o seem_a to_o do_v any_o thing_n therein_o but_o they_o who_o receive_v the_o benefit_n understand_v it_o well_o for_o already_o do_v those_o flower_n yield_v so_o high_a and_o apparent_a a_o scent_n that_o it_o invite_v all_o the_o world_n to_o come_v near_o they_o they_o know_v that_o she_o have_v great_a virtue_n and_o they_o see_v that_o the_o fruit_n be_v very_o tempt_v and_o they_o will_v fain_o help_v she_o to_o eat_v it_o and_o now_o if_o the_o earth_n of_o this_o garden_n be_v manure_v and_o digged-up_a very_o deep_a with_o persecution_n with_o detraction_n and_o with_o sickness_n as_o there_o be_v few_o who_o arrive_v thus_o far_o without_o these_o thing_n and_o if_o also_o it_o be_v very_o clean_o strip_v of_o all_o proper_a interest_n the_o water_n sink_v so_o very_o deep_o into_o this_o soil_n that_o it_o will_v scarce_o be_v ever_o dry_a again_o but_o yet_o if_o it_o be_v such_o a_o kind_n of_o earth_n as_o that_o with_o be_v earth_n it_o have_v also_o such_o a_o quantity_n and_o company_n of_o thorn_n as_o i_o remain_v with_o in_o the_o beginning_n and_o if_o it_o want_v a_o rooting-out_a of_o the_o occasion_n of_o ill_a and_o be_v not_o withal_o so_o grateful_a as_o so_o high_a a_o favour_n require_v that_o soil_n grow_v again_o to_o be_v dry_a and_o in_o that_o case_n if_o the_o gardner_n prove_v negligent_a and_o slack_a and_o if_o out_o lord_n through_o his_o own_o only_o goodness_n do_v not_o again_o resolve_v to_o bestow_v rain_n upon_o it_o you_o may_v well_o give_v this_o garden_n for_o destroy_v and_o lose_v for_o just_a thus_o do_v it_o happen_v to_o i_o several_a time_n and_o real_o i_o be_o even_o amaze_v to_o reflect_v upon_o it_o yea_o and_o it_o be_v not_o possible_a for_o i_o to_o believe_v it_o if_o the_o case_n have_v not_o be_v whole_o i_o own_o but_o now_o i_o write_v thus_o much_o for_o the_o comfort_n of_o such_o soul_n as_o be_v weak_a like_o i_o to_o the_o end_n that_o they_o may_v never_o despair_v nor_o so_o much_o as_o once_o leave_v to_o have_v confidence_n in_o the_o greatness_n of_o almighty_a god_n and_o that_o comfort_n although_o they_o shall_v fall_v even_o after_o our_o lord_n have_v bring_v they_o to_o so_o incomparable_a favour_n as_o be_v mention_v here_o they_o must_v not_o yet_o despair_v unless_o they_o will_v be_v total_o lose_v for_o there_o be_v nothing_o which_o will_v not_o be_v get_v with_o tear_n and_o so_o the_o employ_v of_o one_o water_n will_v be_v the_o mean_n of_o get_v another_o one_o of_o the_o thing_n by_o which_o i_o have_v be_v animate_v with_o be_v that_o miserable_a creature_n which_o i_o be_o to_o write_v this_o discourse_n and_o to_o give_v this_o kind_n of_o account_n of_o my_o wicked_a life_n and_o of_o the_o favour_n which_o our_o lord_n have_v be_v please_v to_o do_v i_o and_o that_o not_o whilst_o i_o be_v serve_v he_o but_o offend_v he_o have_v be_v this_o and_o real_o i_o wish_v now_o that_o i_o be_v some_o person_n of_o great_a authority_n that_o so_o i_o may_v be_v the_o better_o believe_v in_o this_o particular_a and_o i_o humble_o beseech_v the_o divine_a majesty_n of_o my_o dear_a lord_n that_o he_o will_v bestow_v this_o favour_n upon_o i_o i_o say_v then_o that_o no_o one_o even_o of_o those_o creature_n who_o have_v begin_v to_o use_v mental_a prayer_n be_v to_o be_v dismay_v with_o say_v if_o i_o shall_v return_v to_o be_v wicked_a again_o it_o will_v be_v worse_o for_o i_o to_o go_v forward_o with_o the_o use_n of_o prayer_n for_o the_o thing_n which_o i_o believe_v be_v that_o it_o will_v be_v worse_o if_o he_o give-ove_a his_o prayer_n and_o forbear_v to_o reform_v his_o life_n but_o if_o he_o shall_v not_o give-ove_a his_o prayer_n let_v he_o be_v confident_a that_o it_o will_v bring_v he_o again_o to_o the_o port_n where_o he_o shall_v be_v able_a to_o see_v the_o lantern_n and_o arrive_v safe_a the_o devil_n make_v so_o fierce_a battery_n against_o i_o and_o i_o pass_v so_o long_o without_o prayer_n as_o conceave_a that_o be_v so_o wicked_a as_o i_o be_v it_o will_v be_v a_o act_n of_o more_o humility_n to_o desist_v from_o it_o that_o i_o give_v it_o over_o for_o about_o a_o year_n and_o a_o half_a or_o for_o a_o year_n at_o least_o for_o of_o the_o half_a year_n i_o remember_v it_o not_o so_o very_o precise_o but_o this_o be_v likely_a to_o be_v and_o be_v then_o indeed_o no_o other_o thing_n then_o for_o i_o to_o put_v myself_o even_o into_o hell_n without_o need_v any_o devil_n for_o that_o purpose_n o_o my_o dear_a lord_n how_o great_a be_v that_o blindness_n and_o how_o unhappy_o do_v the_o devil_n hit_v right_a for_o his_o purpose_n in_o lay_v so_o heavy_a a_o load_n upon_o we_o herein_o the_o traitor_n know_v very_o well_o that_o he_o have_v lose_v that_o soul_n which_o continue_v with_o perseverance_n in_o prayer_n and_o that_o all_o those_o fall_v which_o he_o procure_v to_o give_v we_o will_v but_o assist_v we_o through_o the_o goodness_n of_o almighty_a god_n to_o make_v afterward_o the_o great_a leap_n towards_o his_o service_n the_o devil_n i_o say_v know_v very_o well_o how_o much_o this_o import_v he_o but_o o_o my_o dear_a jesus_n what_o a_o thing_n it_o be_v to_o see_v a_o soul_n in_o this_o state_n falne-back_a indeed_o to_o sin_n when_o yet_o thou_o by_o thy_o mercy_n do_v lend_v he_o that_o hand_n of_o thou_o to_o rise_v again_o o_o how_o will_v such_o a_o one_o come_v to_o know_v the_o multitude_n of_o thy_o greatness_n and_o mercy_n together_o with_o his_o own_o misery_n here_o come_v this_o creature_n in_o to_o understand_v thy_o majestical_a way_n and_o to_o annihilate_v himself_o in_o good_a earnest_n here_o be_v the_o soul_n not_o once_o presume_v so_o much_o as_o to_o lift_v her_o eye_n up_o to_o heaven_n though_o yet_o she_o raise_v her_o thought_n to_o consider_v the_o unspeakable_a obligation_n which_o she_o have_v to_o thou_o she_o here_o grow_v all_o devote_a to_o the_o queen_n of_o heaven_n that_o she_o may_v help_v to_o appease_v thou_o heer_n she_o invoke_v those_o saint_n who_o fall_v after_o thou_o have_v once_o call_v they_o to_o thy_o service_n to_o the_o end_n that_o she_o may_v be_v assist_v by_o they_o heer_n she_o conceive_v and_o find_v that_o whatsoever_o cross_n thou_o send_v she_o they_o be_v all_o of_o they_o too_o easy_a and_o light_n because_o she_o see_v already_o that_o she_o deserve_v not_o the_o very_a ground_n upon_o which_o she_o go_v heer_n enter_v the_o frequent_v the_o sacrament_n of_o the_o church_n and_o that_o vigorous_a livelie_a faith_n which_o now_o remain_v in_o her_o hart_n as_o see_v the_o great_a power_n and_o virtue_n which_o god_n infuse_v into_o it_o the_o praise_v thou_o for_o have_v leave_v such_o unguent_n and_o other_o medicine_n for_o the_o cure_n of_o our_o sore_n which_o close_v not_o only_o the_o skin_n but_o take_v they_o utter_o away_o in_o a_o word_n she_o be_v amaze_v at_o all_o these_o thing_n and_o who_o o_o thou_o lord_n of_o my_o soul_n be_v not_o to_o be_v amaze_v at_o so_o great_a mercy_n and_o at_o such_o a_o overflow_a kind_n of_o favour_n upon_o our_o treason_n which_o be_v so_o abominable_a and_o foul_a that_o for_o my_o part_n i_o can_v understand_v how_o my_o hart_n come_v not_o even_o to_o splitt_v when_o i_o write_v thus_o much_o because_o i_o find_v myself_o so_o very_o wicked_a and_o yet_o the_o while_n it_o seem_v as_o if_o i_o have_v a_o mind_n to_o make_v thou_o a_o kind_n of_o recompense_n &_o satisfaction_n

myself_o have_v receive_v so_o great_a favour_n from_o almighty_a god_n can_v ever_o procure_v to_o come_v to_o mental_a prayer_n and_o that_o for_o i_o it_o will_v suffice_v if_o i_o say_v those_o vocal_a prayer_n to_o which_o i_o be_v bind_v as_o other_o do_v but_o that_o since_o now_o i_o do_v not_o even_o thus_o much_o well_o what_o sense_n be_v there_o that_o i_o shall_v pretend_v to_o do_v more_o and_o that_o this_o be_v to_o express_v little_a reverence_n to_o almighty_a god_n and_o to_o underualue_n his_o favour_n it_o be_v fit_a to_o think_v and_o know_v all_o this_o but_o to_o put_v it_o in_o execution_n have_v be_v extreme_o ill_o do_v and_o be_v thou_o bless_v o_o lord_n who_o bring_v i_o the_o remedy_n for_o this_o temptation_n seem_v to_o have_v be_v no_o less_o than_o a_o beginning_n to_o that_o other_o which_o the_o devil_n bring_v upon_o judas_n but_o that_o traitor_n the_o devil_n dare_v not_o tempt_v i_o so_o open_o but_o will_v fain_o have_v come_v by_o little_a and_o little_a to_o set_v upon_o i_o as_o he_o do_v upon_o he_o and_o now_o for_o the_o love_n of_o our_o lord_n let_v all_o they_o who_o use_v mental_a prayer_n consider_v well_o that_o which_o follow_v very_o well_o let_v they_o know_v that_o during_o the_o time_n when_o i_o forbear_v it_o my_o life_n be_v much_o worse_o than_o before_o and_o let_v it_o be_v well_o consider_v what_o a_o fine_a kind_n of_o remedy_n the_o devil_n bring_v i_o and_o what_o a_o dainty_a ridiculous_a humility_n it_o must_v be_v which_o can_v fill_v i_o with_o so_o deep_a a_o disquiet_n for_o indeed_o how_o can_v this_o soul_n of_o i_o appease_v itself_o the_o ignorant_a foolish_a creature_n go_v away_o as_o fast_o as_o she_o can_v from_o her_o true_a repose_n and_o rest_n she_o have_v her_o favour_n and_o regalo_n present_a to_o her_o memory_n and_o she_o find_v that_o the_o contentment_n of_o this_o world_n be_v so_o loathsome_a as_o even_o almost_o to_o provoke_v a_o vomit_n but_o i_o be_o amaze_v how_o i_o can_v endure_v it_o though_o belike_o it_o be_v with_o some_o kind_n of_o hope_n that_o at_o the_o worst_a hand_n i_o may_v be_v able_a to_o remain_v free_a from_o sin_n for_o i_o never_o as_o i_o remember_v though_o yet_o it_o be_v now_o more_o than_o one_o &_o twenty_o year_n ago_o gave-ove_a a_o be_v resolve_v to_o return_v to_o prayer_n but_o o_o how_o ill-grounded_a and_o address_v be_v this_o hope_n of_o i_o for_o the_o devil_n will_v fain_o have_v turn_v i_o over_o till_o the_o day_n of_o judgement_n that_o so_o from_o thence_o he_o may_v conduct_v i_o to_o hell_n but_o yet_o now_o afterward_o i_o frequent_v prayer_n &_o read_v which_o be_v indeed_o the_o way_n to_o see_v real_a truth_n &_o look_v down_o upon_o that_o wicked_a course_n which_o i_o be_v hold_v and_o often_o importune_v our_o bless_a lord_n with_o many_o tear_n i_o be_v yet_o so_o very_o wretched_a that_o i_o know_v not_o by_o any_o mean_n how_o to_o help_v myself_o but_o then_o again_o on_o the_o other_o side_n i_o grow_v to_o give-ove_a these_o good_a thing_n and_o employ_v myself_o upon_o certain_a idle_a pastime_n and_o expose_v myself_o to_o many_o occasion_n of_o ill_a and_o enjoy_v very_o few_o help_n and_o i_o may_v rather_o venture_v to_o say_v none_o at_o all_o but_o only_o such_o as_o may_v help_v i_o to_o fall_v for_o what_o may_v i_o ever_o hope_v but_o what_o i_o have_v say_v i_o believe_v that_o a_o certain_a religious_a man_n of_o s._n dominick_n order_n who_o be_v very_o learned_a have_v great_a merit_n in_o the_o sight_n of_o god_n for_o he_o awake_v i_o out_o of_o this_o sleep_n and_o he_o make_v i_o as_o i_o think_v i_o have_v already_o express_v receive_v the_o b._n sacrament_n every_o fortnight_n and_o so_o my_o misery_n be_v then_o not_o altogether_o so_o great_a i_o begin_v to_o come_v back_o again_o into_o myself_o though_o yet_o withal_o i_o forbear_v not_o to_o commit_v some_o offence_n against_o our_o lord_n but_o because_o i_o have_v not_o lose_v my_o way_n i_o go_v still_o on_o with_o fall_v &_o rise_v though_o yet_o but_o by_o little_a and_o little_a and_o he_o who_o never_o gives-ove_a to_o go_v forward_o will_v arrive_v at_o length_n by_o go_v soft_o though_o it_o be_v late_o for_o my_o part_n i_o conceive_v that_o for_o a_o soul_n to_o loose_v her_o way_n and_o to_o leave_v her_o prayer_n be_v indeed_o but_o one_o and_o the_o self_n same_o thing_n and_o our_o lord_n deliver_v we_o from_o it_o for_o his_o own_o mercy_n sake_n it_o be_v heerupon_o to_o be_v infer_v and_o i_o desire_v even_o for_o the_o love_n of_o our_o lord_n that_o it_o may_v be_v much_o observe_v that_o although_o a_o soul_n shall_v come_v to_o such_o pass_n as_o that_o our_o lord_n may_v do_v her_o great_a favour_n in_o prayer_n she_o must_v not_o yet_o be_v confident_a of_o herself_o since_o she_o may_v yet_o come_v to_o fall_v again_o and_o let_v she_o not_o by_o any_o mean_n expose_v herself_o to_o heed_n occasion_n of_o sinne._n let_v she_o be_v careful_a to_o consider_v thus_o much_o for_o the_o deceit_n of_o which_o the_o devil_n be_v wont_a to_o serve_v himself_o in_o this_o occasion_n be_v very_o great_a for_o though_o the_o favour_n which_o be_v impart_v to_o the_o soul_n be_v most_o certain_o from_o almighty_a god_n yet_o the_o traitor_n will_v not_o fail_v to_o serve_v himself_o of_o that_o very_a favour_n in_o whatsoever_o he_o can_v and_o especial_o for_o the_o disadvantage_n of_o person_n who_o be_v not_o strong_a in_o virtue_n and_o mortification_n nor_o be_v absolute_o untie_v and_o loose_a from_o all_o thing_n belong_v to_o this_o world_n for_o man_n in_o fine_a must_v know_v that_o they_o be_v not_o by_o mean_n of_o this_o prayer_n sufficient_o strengthen_v and_o fortify_v as_o i_o will_v declare_v afterward_o for_o the_o put_v themselves_o into_o occasion_n and_o danger_n how_o great_a desire_n and_o resolution_n soever_o they_o may_v have_v this_o be_v a_o excellent_a doctrine_n and_o it_o be_v not_o i_o but_o teach_v by_o almighty_a god_n himself_o and_o so_o i_o shall_v be_v glad_a that_o all_o ignorant_a person_n like_v i_o may_v learn_v it_o for_o though_o a_o soul_n be_v never_o so_o high_a in_o this_o state_n yet_o must_v she_o not_o trust_v herself_o so_o far_o as_o to_o go_v out_o to_o combat_v but_o she_o will_v have_v acquit_v herself_o well_o if_o she_o can_v defend_v herself_o so_o that_o in_o this_o state_n and_o condition_n it_o will_v be_v necessary_a for_o she_o to_o carry_v defensive_a arm_n against_o the_o devil_n for_o yet_o she_o have_v not_o strength_n enough_o wherewith_o to_o assault_v he_o and_o much_o less_o to_o tread_v he_o under_o foot_n as_o yet_o they_o will_v be_v able_a to_o do_v who_o shall_v find_v themselves_o in_o that_o state_n whereof_o i_o will_v discourse_v afterward_o but_o this_o be_v that_o devise_n and_o cosening-trick_n whereby_o the_o devil_n be_v wont_a to_o take_v we_o that_o when_o once_o he_o see_v a_o soul_n arrive_v to_o be_v so_o very_o near_o to_o our_o lord_n and_o which_o can_v judge_v so_o very_o well_o of_o the_o difference_n between_o the_o blessing_n which_o belong_v to_o this_o life_n and_o the_o next_o and_o of_o the_o love_n which_o our_o lord_n bear_v to_o that_o soul_n from_o this_o very_a love_n he_o make_v such_o a_o kind_n of_o confidence_n and_o security_n grow_v as_o that_o she_o shall_v never_o forsooth_o be_v able_a to_o fall_v from_o that_o which_o she_o be_v enjoy_v at_o that_o time_n and_o she_o also_o seem_v there-upon_o to_o eye_v her_o reward_n so_o very_o clear_o that_o she_o be_v easy_o bring_v to_o hold_v it_o even_o impossible_a for_o she_o to_o quit_v that_o which_o be_v so_o very_o delightful_a and_o gustfull_a even_o in_o this_o life_n for_o so_o base_a and_o filthy_a a_o thing_n as_o worldly_a pleasure_n be_v now_o by_o mean_n of_o this_o vain_a confidence_n do_v the_o devil_n grow_v to_o deprive_v she_o of_o the_o distrust_n which_o otherwise_o she_o will_v have_v of_o her_o own_o strength_n and_o thus_o she_o expose_v herself_o as_o i_o be_v say_v to_o danger_n and_o begin_v with_o a_o foolish_a kind_n of_o good_a zeal_n to_o be_v give_v the_o fruit_n of_o her_o garden_n away_o to_o other_o without_o any_o limit_n as_o believe_v now_o that_o she_o have_v no_o more_o cause_n so_o to_o be_v afraid_a concern_v herself_o and_o that_o this_o be_v not_o forsooth_o out_o of_o pride_n for_o the_o soul_n understand_v well_o enough_o that_o she_o be_v able_a to_o do_v nothing_o of_o herself_o but_o through_o the_o much_o temptation_n confidence_n which_o she_o have_v in_o almighty_a god_n yet_o all_o this_o be_v without_o discretion_n because_o

last_v no_o long_o than_o the_o open_n as_o it_o be_v and_o shut_v of_o a_o eye_n for_o then_o in_o effect_n it_o be_v scarce_o feel_v at_o all_o but_o only_o by_o the_o very_a effect_n which_o it_o leave_v behind_o it_o and_o when_o on_o the_o other_o side_n this_o favour_n continue_v to_o be_v of_o much_o long_a extent_n but_o it_o occurr_v to_o i_o often_o to_o doubt_v whether_o the_o cause_n of_o this_o may_v not_o be_v that_o the_o soul_n dispose_v not_o herself_o entire_o for_o god_n till_o his_o divine_a majesty_n bring_v she_o up_o and_o breed_v she_o for_o himself_o by_o little_a and_o little_a and_o so_o bespeak_v she_o to_o resolve_v her_o self_n all_o at_o once_o and_o give_v she_o the_o very_a strength_n of_o a_o grow_v man_n to_o the_o end_n that_o she_o may_v cast_v all_o as_o it_o be_v a_o thousand_o mile_n off_o as_o he_o instant_o do_v with_o s._n marie_n magdalen_n and_o as_o he_o also_o do_v with_o other_o after_o the_o rate_n of_o their_o cooperate_a with_o he_o and_o as_o they_o suffer_v his_o divine_a majesty_n to_o dispose_v of_o they_o whole_o according_a to_o his_o own_o good_a pleasure_n for_o else_o we_o know_v not_o how_o to_o believe_v that_o even_o in_o this_o life_n almighty_a god_n give_v a_o hundred_o for_o one_o i_o think_v also_o of_o this_o comparison_n that_o suppose_v the_o thing_n to_o be_v all_o one_o which_o be_v impart_v both_o to_o beginner_n and_o proficient_n it_o will_v be_v like_a to_o some_o one_o only_a food_n whereof_o many_o feed_n all_o at_o once_o and_o that_o they_o who_o eat_v little_a of_o it_o preserve_v no_o more_o memory_n and_o remain_v with_o no_o more_o effect_n of_o it_o then_o only_o some_o little_a savour_n or_o smack_n for_o a_o while_n but_o they_o who_o feed_v more_o large_o it_o give_v they_o help_v to_o subsist_v and_o they_o who_o feed_v plentiful_o on_o it_o receive_v increase_n of_o strength_n and_o spirit_n by_o it_o yea_o and_o a_o soul_n may_v feed_v so_o often_o and_o so_o full_o upon_o this_o food_n of_o life_n that_o she_o may_v come_v not_o to_o endure_v any_o thing_n at_o all_o which_o shall_v not_o taste_v just_a like_o that_o for_o she_o find_v the_o very_a great_a benefit_n which_o she_o receive_v by_o it_o and_o she_o have_v her_o taste_n already_o so_o whole_o make_v to_o that_o sweetness_n that_o she_o have_v rather_o even_o leave_v to_o live_v then_o to_o feed_v upon_o other_o thing_n which_o be_v all_o to_o serve_v in_o fine_a for_o nothing_o but_o only_o to_o take_v away_o the_o good_a taste_n which_o the_o former_a excellent_a food_n leave_v in_o her_o mouth_n beside_o no_o conversation_n with_o holy_a company_n be_v wont_a to_o be_v of_o so_o much_o use_v and_o benefit_n in_o one_o day_n as_o in_o many_o but_o we_o may_v be_v in_o it_o so_o long_o as_o that_o we_o may_v grow_v to_o be_v even_o like_o they_o ourselves_o if_o our_o lord_n will_v be_v please_v to_o do_v we_o so_o much_o favour_n but_o to_o conclude_v the_o main_n business_n consist_v in_o what_o his_o divine_a majesty_n vouchsafe_v to_o do_v and_o to_o who_o he_o will_v be_v please_v to_o allow_v it_o though_o yet_o withal_o it_o grow_v to_o import_v very_o much_o that_o whosoever_o will_v pretend_v to_o receive_v this_o favour_n must_v full_o resolve_v himself_o to_o be_v absolute_o dis-engaged_n and_o untie_v from_o the_o whole_a world_n yea_o and_o to_o esteem_v that_o favour_n of_o our_o bless_a lord_n as_o high_o as_o the_o thing_n deserve_v it_o also_o seem_v to_o i_o as_o if_o his_o divine_a majesty_n be_v resolve_v to_o try_v who_o they_o be_v that_o love_v he_o namely_o whether_o it_o be_v this_o soul_n or_o that_o and_o that_o he_o will_v also_o discover_v who_o himself_o be_v by_o impart_v so_o high_a and_o sovereign_a a_o delight_n to_o quicken_v and_o fortifye_v their_o faith_n if_o it_o shall_v chance_v to_o be_v dead_a or_o weak_a in_o the_o beleif_n of_o those_o great_a blessing_n which_o he_o mean_v to_o give_v she_o say_v behold_v this_o be_v but_o a_o single_a drop_n of_o that_o huge_a and_o vast_a sea_n of_o benediction_n which_o i_o mean_v to_o give_v to_o such_o as_o i_o love_v and_o when_o he_o see_v that_o they_o receive_v it_o as_o he_o give_v it_o he_o give_v not_o only_o it_o but_o himself_o with_o it_o in_o fine_a he_o love_v they_o who_o love_v he_o and_o o_o what_o a_o good_a lover_n and_o good_a belon_v be_v he_o othou_fw-mi the_o lord_n of_o my_o soul_n o_o that_o i_o can_v find_v any_o fit_a word_n whereby_o i_o may_v give_v to_o be_v understand_v what_o thou_o bestow_v upon_o such_o as_o trust_v thou_o home_o and_o what_o they_o lose_v who_o arrive_v to_o this_o condition_n and_o yet_o will_v needs_o remain_v still_o with_o themselves_o but_o do_v not_o o_o thou_o my_o lord_n permit_v this_o since_o already_o thou_o do_v more_o than_o this_o for_o our_o sake_n in_o come_v to_o so_o base_a and_o wicked_a a_o lodging_n as_o this_o of_o my_o hart_n bless_a may_v thou_o be_v for_o ever_o and_o for_o ever_o amen_n and_o now_o i_o return_v most_o humble_o to_o beseech_v your_o reverence_n that_o if_o you_o mean_v to_o impart_v these_o thing_n which_o i_o have_v write_v concern_v my_o prayer_n they_o may_v be_v very_o spiritual_a person_n to_o who_o you_o do_v it_o for_o if_o they_o understand_v no_o more_o than_o some_o one_o way_n or_o if_o they_o have_v remain_v in_o the_o half_a way_n they_o will_v never_o be_v so_o well_o able_a to_o hit_v right_a now_o there_o be_v some_o who_o almighty_a god_n carry_v instant_o by_o a_o very_a sublime_a kind_n of_o address_n and_o they_o perhaps_o will_v conceive_v that_o other_o may_v also_o profit_v there_o and_o may_v quiet_v and_o calm_v the_o understanding_n and_o not_o serve_v themselves_o at_o all_o of_o the_o mean_n of_o any_o corporeal_a object_n but_o yet_o these_o creature_n with_o all_o this_o shall_v come_v in_o fine_a to_o remain_v as_o dry_v as_o a_o stick_n and_o some_o who_o have_v grow_v to_o enjoy_v a_o little_a quiet_a grow_v also_o to_o think_v of_o this_o fancy_n that_o why_o forsooth_o may_v not_o they_o be_v able_a to_o obtain_v as_o well_o the_o one_o as_o the_o other_o but_o such_o as_o these_o in_o stead_n of_o advance_v in_o the_o way_n of_o profit_v their_o soul_n shall_v real_o disadvantage_n themselves_o as_o i_o have_v say_v so_o that_o in_o all_o this_o business_n there_o will_v be_v need_n both_o of_o experience_n and_o prudence_n and_o i_o beseech_v our_o lord_n grant_v they_o to_o we_o through_o his_o own_o goodness_n the_o three_o and_o twenty_o chapter_n she_o return_v to_o declare_v the_o course_n of_o her_o life_n and_o how_o she_o first_o begin_v to_o think_v of_o grow_v to_o great_a perfection_n and_o by_o what_o mean_n she_o do_v it_o this_o chapter_n be_v very_o profitable_a for_o such_o as_o be_v to_o govern_v soul_n in_o order_n to_o prayer_n and_o to_o make_v they_o know_v how_o they_o be_v to_o behave_v themselves_o in_o their_o beginning_n and_o of_o the_o benefit_n she_o reap_v by_o know_v it_o herself_o i_o will_v now_o return_v to_o that_o place_n where_o i_o give_v over_o the_o discourse_n of_o my_o life_n for_o i_o have_v detain_v myself_o perhaps_o long_o than_o i_o ought_v to_o the_o end_n that_o yet_o that_o which_o follow_v may_v grow_v to_o be_v the_o better_o understand_v from_o hence_o forward_a this_o will_v be_v another_o new_a book_n i_o mean_v another_o new_a life_n for_o hitherto_o it_o be_v i_o but_o the_o life_n which_o i_o have_v live_v since_o i_o begin_v to_o declare_v these_o thing_n of_o prayer_n be_v that_o when_o god_n live_v in_o i_o forasmuch_o as_o i_o can_v conceive_v since_o i_o hold_v it_o to_o be_v impossible_a otherwise_o for_o i_o to_o have_v give_v over_o both_o such_o ill_a action_n and_o condition_n in_o so_o short_a a_o time_n let_v our_o lord_n be_v everlasting_o praise_v for_o deliver_v i_o in_o such_o sort_n from_o myself_o but_o i_o begin_v now_o to_o free_v my_o soul_n from_o the_o occasion_n of_o ill_a and_o to_o give_v myself_o more_o to_o prayer_n our_o lord_n begin_v also_o to_o do_v i_o favour_n as_o one_o who_o in_o all_o appearance_n desire_v but_o that_o i_o will_v be_v content_a to_o receive_v they_o his_o divine_a majesty_n do_v therefore_o then_o very_o ordinary_o give_v i_o the_o prayer_n of_o quiet_a and_o many_o time_n that_o also_o of_o union_n which_o last_v very_o long_o fit_v of_o time_n but_o now_o when_o i_o understand_v that_o there_o have_v occur_v great_a illusion_n of_o certain_a woman_n and_o deceit_n which_o the_o devil_n put_v upon_o they_o i_o begin_v to_o be_v afraid_a as_o consider_v the_o delight_n and_o sweetness_n

they_o shall_v not_o speak_v thereof_o but_o this_o serve_v my_o turn_n to_o little_a purpose_n for_o there_o chance_v to_o be_v one_o at_o the_o gate_n when_o i_o be_v call_v who_o publish_v it_o over_o all_o the_o convent_n but_o now_o what_o difficulty_n and_o trouble_n and_o fear_n do_v the_o devil_n use_v to_o provide_v for_o such_o person_n as_o dispose_v themselves_o to_o approach_v to_o almighty_a god_n when_o i_o be_v treat_v with_o that_o servant_n of_o his_o divine_a majesty_n who_o be_v great_o so_o and_o a_o man_n also_o of_o very_o good_a discretion_n about_o the_o passage_n of_o my_o whole_a life_n and_o of_o my_o soul_n he_o declare_v to_o i_o what_o every_o thing_n be_v as_o a_o man_n who_o understand_v that_o language_n very_o well_o and_o he_o encourage_v i_o much_o and_o tell_v i_o that_o it_o be_v evident_o the_o spirit_n of_o almighty_a god_n which_o wrought_v in_o i_o happy_a but_o that_o i_o must_v return_v again_o to_o the_o exercise_n of_o prayer_n because_o i_o be_v not_o well_o ground_v therein_o nor_o have_v so_o much_o as_o begin_v to_o know_v what_o mortification_n mean_v and_o this_o be_v very_o true_a for_o i_o have_v hardly_o ever_o well_o understand_v so_o much_o as_o the_o name_n but_o that_o i_o shall_v by_o no_o mean_n give-ove_a my_o prayer_n but_o rather_o employ_v myself_o with_o more_o diligence_n and_o endeavour_v therein_o since_o almighty_a god_n have_v be_v please_v to_o do_v i_o so_o particular_a favour_n and_o what_o say_v he_o can_v any_o body_n tell_v whether_o it_o may_v not_o please_v our_o lord_n to_o do_v good_a to_o many_o even_o by_o your_o mean_n other_o thing_n also_o he_o say_v in_o such_o sort_n as_o that_o he_o may_v seem_v even_o to_o have_v prophesy_v then_o concern_v those_o thing_n which_o our_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o grant_v and_o effect_n afterward_o and_o i_o shall_v be_v subject_a to_o very_o great_a blame_n if_o i_o correspond_v not_o with_o those_o favour_n which_o our_o lord_n vouchsafe_v to_o show_v i_o in_o all_o thing_n it_o seem_v to_o i_o that_o the_o holy_a ghost_n speak_v to_o i_o by_o this_o father_n in_o order_n to_o the_o cure_n of_o my_o soul_n so_o distinct_o grow_v every_o thing_n to_o be_v imprince_v therein_o he_o put_v i_o to_o great_a confusion_n and_o direct_v i_o by_o such_o mean_n to_o proceed_v that_o he_o seem_v to_o make_v i_o absolute_o even_o another_o creature_n so_o great_a a_o thing_n it_o be_v to_o understand_v a_o soul_n he_o will_v i_o every_o day_n to_o meditate_v upon_o some_o passage_n of_o the_o passion_n of_o our_o bless_a lord_n and_o that_o i_o shall_v help_v myself_o thereby_o and_o that_o i_o shall_v not_o think_v but_o upon_o his_o holy_a humanity_n and_o that_o i_o shall_v resist_v those_o recollection_n and_o gust_n as_o much_o as_o i_o can_v and_o not_o give_v place_n to_o they_o till_o he_o shall_v express_v himself_o to_o i_o by_o some_o other_o order_n he_o leave_v i_o both_o comfort_v and_o strengthen_v and_o our_o lord_n assist_v both_o i_o and_o he_o to_o the_o end_n that_o he_o may_v understand_v my_o condition_n and_o in_o what_o sort_n i_o be_v to_o govern_v myself_o and_o i_o remain_v with_o a_o resolution_n not_o to_o swerve_v at_o all_o from_o any_o thing_n which_o he_o have_v or_o shall_v command_v i_o and_o therein_o have_v i_o continue_v till_o this_o very_a day_n our_o lord_n be_v bless_v and_o praise_v for_o have_v give_v i_o grace_n to_o obey_v my_o ghostly_a father_n though_o yet_o after_o a_o imperfect_a manner_n and_o they_o have_v in_o effect_n ever_o be_v these_o bless_a man_n of_o the_o society_n of_o jesus_n howsoever_o as_o i_o be_v say_v i_o have_v follow_v they_o after_o a_o imperfect_a manner_n but_o now_o my_o soul_n begin_v to_o receive_v a_o evident_a kind_n of_o amendment_n and_o improvement_n as_o i_o will_v here_o declare_v the_o four_o and_o twenty_o chapter_n she_o prosecute_v the_o former_a discourse_n and_o show_n how_o her_o soul_n go_v profit_v when_o once_o she_o have_v begin_v to_o obey_v she_o also_o declare_v for_o how_o little_a purpose_n it_o serve_v to_o resist_v the_o favour_n of_o almighty_a god_n and_o how_o his_o divine_a majesty_n go_v daily_o impart_v they_o to_o she_o after_o a_o more_o complete_a manner_n but_o now_o my_o soul_n remain_v so_o supple_a and_o tractable_a by_o mean_n of_o this_o last_o confession_n of_o i_o that_o i_o think_v there_o can_v be_v nothing_o to_o which_o i_o will_v not_o dispose_v myself_o and_o so_o i_o instant_o begin_v to_o change_v in_o many_o thing_n though_o yet_o my_o ghostly_a father_n do_v not_o soul_n press_v i_o much_o but_o rather_o seem_v to_o make_v little_a account_n of_o they_o and_o this_o wrought_v even_o so_o much_o the_o more_o upon_o i_o for_o he_o carry_v i_o rather_o on_o by_o way_n of_o give_v i_o certain_a liberty_n in_o little_a thing_n then_o of_o pressure_n unlosse_n myself_o can_v find_v in_o my_o hart_n to_o do_v it_o for_o love._n in_o the_o mean_a time_n i_o continue_v upon_o the_o point_n of_o two_o month_n use_v all_o the_o diligence_n that_o possible_o i_o can_v to_o resist_v the_o favour_n and_o regalo_n of_o almighty_a god_n as_o for_o my_o exterior_a conversation_n and_o proceed_v there_o be_v already_o a_o apparent_a change_n to_o be_v see_v in_o i_o for_o already_o our_o bless_a lord_n begin_v to_o give_v i_o courage_n to_o do_v certain_a thing_n which_o the_o person_n who_o see_v and_o know_v i_o hold_v to_o be_v extreme_a and_o even_o in_o the_o very_a house_n itself_o and_o in_o respect_n of_o what_o i_o be_v wont_a to_o do_v before_o they_o may_v indeed_o be_v account_v to_o hang_v that_o way_n though_o yet_o still_o it_o all_o fall_v short_a enough_o of_o that_o to_o which_o i_o be_v oblige_v both_o by_o the_o habit_n which_o i_o have_v take_v and_o by_o the_o profession_n also_o which_o i_o have_v make_v from_o that_o resistance_n which_o i_o make_v to_o the_o gust_n and_o regalo_n of_o almighty_a god_n i_o gain_v thus_o much_o that_o his_o divine_a majesty_n come_v to_o be_v please_v to_o be_v my_o instructor_n himself_o for_o before_o it_o seem_v that_o for_o the_o dispose_n i_o towards_o the_o receive_n of_o any_o such_o regalo_n as_o those_o there_o be_v need_v that_o i_o shall_v retire_v and_o shut_v myself_o as_o it_o be_v up_o into_o corner_n and_o i_o also_o dare_v not_o as_o it_o be_v move_v or_o stir_v but_o afterward_o i_o quick_o find_v how_o little_a all_o that_o serve_v to_o the_o purpose_n for_o when_o i_o procure_v to_o divert_v myself_o most_o so_o much_o the_o more_o do_v our_o bless_a lord_n cover_v i_o as_o it_o be_v all_o over_o with_o that_o kind_n of_o suavitie_n and_o glory_n as_o seem_v even_o to_o compass_v i_o in_o on_o every_o side_n in_o such_o sort_n as_o that_o it_o be_v not_o possible_a for_o i_o to_o escape_v from_o it_o and_o real_o so_o it_o be_v for_o as_o for_o i_o i_o take_v so_o much_o care_n to_o decline_v it_o that_o it_o do_v even_o put_v i_o to_o pain_n and_o yet_o our_o lord_n be_v please_v even_o still_o to_o have_v more_o care_n to_o be_v do_v i_o favour_n and_o to_o express_v himself_o that_o way_n in_o those_o two_o month_n i_o say_v much_o more_o than_o he_o have_v former_o do_v to_o the_o end_n that_o i_o may_v the_o better_a know_v that_o this_o business_n do_v now_o no_o long_o depend_v any_o way_n upon_o myself_o and_o now_o i_o begin_v to_o grow_v to_o carry_v a_o new_a and_o fresh_a kind_n of_o love_n towards_o the_o most_o sacred_a humanity_n of_o our_o bless_a lord_n and_o my_o prayer_n begin_v to_o settle_v itself_o like_o a_o building_n which_o now_o have_v mortar_n in_o it_o that_o may_v make_v the_o part_n stick_v together_o and_o i_o begin_v also_o to_o incline_v myself_o more_o to_o the_o do_v of_o penance_n wherein_o i_o be_v grow_v a_o little_a slack_a by_o reason_n of_o my_o so_o great_a infirmity_n for_o that_o holy_a man_n to_o who_o i_o make_v my_o confession_n tell_v i_o that_o some_o kind_n of_o penance_n which_o he_o name_v will_v do_v i_o no_o hurt_n and_o that_o perhaps_o almighty_a god_n give_v i_o sickness_n in_o the_o quality_n of_o penance_n since_o i_o will_v impose_v none_o upon_o myself_o he_o will_v i_o also_o to_o do_v certain_a act_n of_o mortification_n which_o be_v not_o very_o please_v to_o i_o though_o yet_o i_o went-through_a with_o they_o all_o because_o it_o seem_v to_o i_o as_o if_o our_o lord_n himself_o have_v command_v they_o and_o his_o divine_a majesty_n give_v he_o also_o grace_n to_o direct_v they_o in_o such_o sort_n as_o that_o i_o shall_v be_v glad_a to_o obey_v he_o my_o soul_n go_v then_o

and_o so_o make_v those_o wretch_n tremble_v for_o already_o we_o know_v well_o enough_o that_o the_o devil_n be_v not_o able_a to_o stir_v unless_o our_o lord_n permit_v he_o what_o then_o may_v be_v the_o ground_n of_o all_o these_o disorder_n it_o be_v certain_o that_o i_o be_o more_o afraid_a of_o they_o who_o be_v so_o fright_v by_o the_o devil_n then_o of_o the_o devil_n himself_o for_o he_o be_v utter_o unable_a to_o do_v i_o hurt_v whereas_o these_o other_o especial_o if_o they_o be_v ghostly_a father_n may_v put_v soul_n to_o much_o disquiet_n and_o for_o my_o part_n i_o have_v pass_v some_o year_n through_o so_o great_a trouble_n that_o now_o i_o be_o even_o amaze_v to_o consider_v how_o i_o have_v be_v able_a to_o endure_v it_o but_o bless_v be_v our_o lord_n who_o have_v assist_v i_o in_o so_o good_a earnest_n amen_n the_o six_o and_o twenty_o chapter_n she_o prosecute_v the_o same_o discourse_n and_o go_v relate_v and_o declare_v such_o thing_n as_o happen_v to_o she_o which_o make_v her_o loose_a fear_n and_o to_o be_v strengthen_v in_o a_o beleif_n that_o it_o be_v a_o good_a spirit_n which_o speak_v to_o she_o i_o esteem_v the_o courage_n which_o our_o lord_n have_v vouchsafe_v to_o give_v i_o against_o all_o the_o devil_n of_o hell_n to_o be_v one_o of_o the_o great_a favour_n which_o it_o have_v please_v his_o divine_a majesty_n to_o do_v i_o since_o for_o a_o soul_n to_o go_v cowardly_o on_o and_o to_o be_v fearful_a indeed_o of_o any_o thing_n but_o only_o to_o offend_v the_o majesty_n of_o almighty_a god_n be_v a_o extreme_a inconvenience_n for_o since_o we_o have_v a_o king_n who_o be_v omnipotent_a and_o so_o great_a a_o lord_n that_o he_o can_v do_v what_o he_o list_n and_o who_o bring_v all_o thing_n into_o subjection_n under_o himself_o there_o be_v no_o fear_n at_o all_o to_o be_v have_v and_o therefore_o as_o i_o be_v say_v we_o have_v no_o cause_n to_o doubt_v so_o that_o we_o walk_v sincere_o and_o with_o purity_n of_o conscience_n in_o the_o presence_n of_o his_o divine_a majesty_n and_o in_o order_n to_o this_o end_n i_o shall_v be_v glad_a to_o have_v all_o the_o fear_n in_o the_o world_n to_o offend_v he_o in_o any_o one_o instant_n of_o my_o whole_a life_n who_o be_v able_a in_o the_o very_a selfsame_a instant_n to_o destroy_v and_o annihilate_v we_o all_o as_o long_o as_o his_o divine_a majesty_n be_v please_v with_o we_o there_o be_v no_o creature_n who_o can_v stand_v against_o we_o without_o have_v his_o head_n break_v for_o his_o pain_n you_o will_v peradventure_o say_v that_o this_o be_v very_o true_a but_o yet_o now_o on_o the_o other_o side_n where_o shall_v we_o find_v that_o soul_n which_o stand_v so_o straight_o as_o that_o she_o may_v be_v whole_o please_v to_o he_o and_o because_o she_o be_v not_o so_o she_o be_v in_o fear_n i_o answer_v that_o i_o be_o sure_a that_o that_o pure_a and_o innocent_a soul_n be_v none_o of_o i_o which_o indeed_o be_v very_o wretched_a and_o unprofitable_a and_o surcharge_v even_o with_o a_o thousand_o misery_n but_o yet_o still_o we_o have_v this_o comfort_n that_o almighty_a god_n do_v not_o proceed_v with_o such_o rigour_n as_o man_n do_v for_o he_o know_v and_o consider_v our_o frailty_n and_o the_o soul_n have_v way_n of_o understanding_n and_o find_v in_o itself_o by_o great_a conjecture_n whether_o real_o she_o love_v his_o divine_a majesty_n or_o no_o for_o in_o such_o as_o arrive_v once_o to_o this_o state_n our_o love_n to_o he_o be_v not_o now_o a_o kind_n of_o dissemble_a or_o disguise_v love_n as_o it_o use_v sometime_o to_o be_v in_o the_o beginning_n but_o it_o be_v accompany_v with_o so_o great_a impulse_n and_o even_o impetuosity_n of_o desire_n to_o see_v almighty_a god_n as_o i_o shall_v afterward_o declare_v or_o rather_o as_o i_o have_v declare_v already_o and_o all_o thing_n be_v wont_a to_o afflict_v all_o thing_n to_o weary_a &_o tire_v and_o all_o thing_n do_v even_o torment_v she_o unless_o it_o be_v only_a god_n or_o for_o god_n there_o be_v not_o so_o much_o as_o any_o repose_n which_o do_v not_o displease_v she_o because_o she_o find_v herself_o absent_a from_o her_o true_a repose_n and_o so_o it_o falls-out_a to_o be_v very_o evident_a that_o thing_n pass_v not_o here_o in_o a_o dissemble_a way_n it_o have_v happen_v to_o i_o in_o former_a time_n that_o i_o find_v myself_o in_o great_a tribulation_n and_o i_o be_v subject_a to_o many_o detraction_n by_o occasion_n of_o a_o certain_a business_n whereof_o i_o may_v have_v cause_n to_o speak_v afterward_o from_o all_o that_o house_n where_o i_o live_v yea_o and_o from_o my_o order_n and_o i_o be_v afflict_v upon_o many_o accident_n which_o occur_v then_o at_o which_o time_n it_o please_v our_o lord_n to_o utter_v these_o express_a word_n to_o i_o of_o what_o be_v thou_o afraid_a do_v thou_o not_o know_v that_o i_o be_o omnipotent_a i_o will_v accomplish_v all_o that_o which_o i_o have_v promise_v thou_o and_o indeed_o he_o accomplish_v it_o afterward_o very_o well_o but_o even_o instant_o there_o remain_v such_o a_o kind_n of_o strength_n in_o i_o that_o i_o think_v i_o can_v present_o have_v put_v myself_o to_o adventure_v upon_o other_o thing_n though_o they_o shall_v cost_v i_o much_o more_o trouble_n for_o the_o do_v he_o service_n and_o can_v have_v suffer_v also_o much_o more_o for_o he_o and_o this_o very_a self_n same_o thing_n have_v happen_v to_o i_o so_o often_o that_o i_o be_o not_o able_a to_o count_v the_o time_n and_o he_o have_v make_v i_o and_o make_v i_o still_o such_o reprehension_n by_o occasion_n of_o those_o imperfection_n which_o i_o commit_v sometime_o that_o they_o be_v able_a even_o as_o it_o be_v to_o annihilate_v the_o soul_n at_o least_o they_o bring_v so_o much_o in_o their_o company_n as_o that_o she_o be_v mend_v by_o they_o for_o his_o divine_a majesty_n as_o i_o have_v say_v do_v not_o only_o give_v we_o the_o counsel_n but_o the_o remedy_n at_o other_o time_n he_o bring_v back_o to_o i_o the_o memory_n of_o the_o sin_n of_o my_o former_a life_n and_o this_o he_o most_o ordinary_o use_v to_o do_v whensoever_o he_o intend_v to_o vouchsafe_v i_o any_o extraordinary_a favour_n and_o he_o do_v it_o in_o such_o sort_n that_o the_o soul_n discern_v herself_o as_o if_o she_o be_v real_o plant_v at_o the_o very_a day_n of_o the_o last_o universal_a judgement_n and_o the_o truth_n be_v represent_v to_o she_o with_o such_o a_o kind_n of_o perspicuity_n and_o claritie_n that_o she_o know_v not_o what_o to_o do_v with_o herself_o at_o other_o time_n he_o be_v please_v to_o inform_v i_o of_o certain_a danger_n concern_v both_o myself_o and_o other_o about_o thing_n which_o do_v not_o happen_v till_o three_o or_o four_o year_n after_o but_o they_o all_o be_v ever_o fulfil_v and_o some_o of_o they_o may_v also_o be_v name_v if_o there_o be_v cause_n so_o that_o there_o be_v so_o many_o particular_n whereby_o it_o may_v be_v understand_v that_o these_o thing_n be_v of_o almighty_a god_n as_o that_o in_o my_o opinion_n they_o can_v but_o be_v know_v and_o acknowledge_v the_o most_o secure_a proceed_n consist_v in_o that_o such_o a_o person_n do_v not_o fail_v to_o impart_v her_o whole_a soul_n to_o her_o ghostly_a father_n and_o that_o he_o be_v a_o learned_a man_n and_o that_o she_o do_v entire_o obey_v he_o at_o least_o this_o be_v the_o course_n which_o i_o take_v and_o without_o this_o i_o can_v have_v no_o rest_n nor_o be_v it_o indeed_o fit_a that_o we_o woman_n shall_v have_v any_o since_o we_o have_v no_o learning_n and_o there_o can_v be_v no_o hurt_n at_o all_o in_o this_o but_o many_o advantage_n and_o benefit_n as_o our_o lord_n himself_o have_v tell_v i_o many_o time_n i_o say_v many_o time_n i_o have_v once_o a_o ghostly_a father_n who_o mortify_v i_o very_o much_o and_o sometime_o he_o do_v even_o afflict_v i_o and_o bring_v i_o a_o great_a deal_n of_o trouble_n and_o disquiet_v i_o in_o extraordinary_a manner_n and_o yet_o it_o be_v he_o who_o in_o my_o opinion_n do_v i_o the_o most_o good_a of_o they_o all_o and_o though_o i_o love_v he_o very_o much_o yet_o i_o have_v some_o temptation_n to_o leave_v he_o for_o it_o seem_v to_o i_o that_o i_o be_v much_o prejudice_v by_o those_o inconvenience_n which_o he_o be_v wont_a to_o give_v i_o concern_v my_o prayer_n but_o yet_o ever_o when_o i_o be_v determine_v to_o do_v this_o i_o instant_o understand_v that_o i_o be_v to_o forbear_v it_o and_o i_o receive_v such_o a_o reprehension_n from_o our_o lord_n as_o defeat_v and_o as_o it_o be_v annihilate_v i_o more_o than_o all_o that_o which_o my_o ghostly_a father_n can_v

shall_v be_v like_o it_o well_o may_v one_o represent_v it_o to_o his_o own_o imagination_n and_o stand_v look_v upon_o it_o for_o some_o time_n and_o consider_v his_o shape_n and_o complexion_n and_o so_o go_v perfect_v it_o by_o little_a and_o little_a and_o recommend_v that_o image_n over_o to_o his_o memory_n for_o who_o can_v take_v this_o power_n from_o the_o mind_n and_o thus_o much_o be_o i_o able_a to_o do_v by_o the_o strength_n of_o my_o own_o understanding_n but_o in_o that_o other_o whereof_o we_o be_v speak_v there_o be_v no_o mean_n for_o this_o for_o we_o must_v behold_v that_o just_a then_o when_o our_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o represent_v it_o to_o we_o and_o just_a also_o what_o he_o will_v &_o how_o he_o will_v nor_o be_v there_o in_o this_o case_n any_o mean_n either_o to_o add_v or_o diminish_v any_o thing_n how_o much_o soever_o we_o may_v endeavour_v it_o either_o towards_o the_o see_v it_o or_o forbear_v to_o see_v it_o when_o we_o will_n for_o know_v whensoever_o we_o shall_v dispose_v ourselves_o to_o fix_v our_o sight_n fast_o upon_o behold_v any_o particular_a thing_n the_o sight_n of_o christ_n our_o lord_n be_v instant_o lose_v it_o happen_v to_o i_o two_o year_n and_o a_o half_a that_o very_o ordinary_o christ_n our_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o vouchsafe_v i_o this_o favour_n and_o it_o be_v now_o more_o than_o three_o since_o he_o have_v deprive_v i_o of_o the_o so_o continual_a use_n of_o this_o vision_n by_o afford_v i_o another_o of_o a_o high_a kind_n as_o perhaps_o i_o shall_v declare_v afterward_o and_o i_o find_v that_o he_o will_v be_v speak_v to_o i_o and_o i_o the_o while_n behold_v that_o extreme_a beauty_n of_o he_o and_o observe_v the_o suavitie_n with_o which_o he_o utter_v those_o word_n by_o that_o most_o lovely_a and_o divine_a mouth_n and_o sometime_o also_o with_o rigour_n whilst_o i_o in_o the_o mean_a time_n have_v a_o kind_n of_o extreme_a desire_n to_o see_v the_o colour_n of_o those_o eye_n and_o the_o size_n and_o shape_n which_o they_o have_v to_o the_o end_n that_o i_o may_v be_v able_a to_o relate_v the_o same_o to_o my_o ghostly_a father_n i_o can_v never_o yet_o obtain_v to_o see_v they_o and_o my_o diligence_n will_v not_o serve_v to_o procure_v it_o but_o the_o vision_n be_v rather_o absolute_o lose_v and_o though_o suaviter_fw-la it_o be_v very_o true_a that_o sometime_o i_o see_v he_o look_v upon_o i_o with_o a_o kind_n of_o sweetness_n and_o compassion_n yet_o this_o spectacle_n be_v of_o so_o mighty_a a_o force_n that_o the_o soul_n be_v not_o able_a to_o endure_v it_o but_o remain_v in_o so_o high_a a_o rapt_v that_o to_o the_o end_n she_o may_v the_o better_o enjoy_v the_o whole_a she_o whole_o lose_v the_o sight_n of_o this_o most_o beautiful_a object_n so_o that_o in_o fine_a and_o in_o order_n to_o this_o end_n it_o serve_v to_o little_a purpose_n either_o to_o will_v or_o not_o to_o will_v any_o thing_n here_o and_o it_o grow_v to_o be_v clear_a enough_o that_o our_o lord_n look_v for_o nothing_o in_o these_o case_n but_o for_o humility_n and_o confusion_n of_o ourselves_o and_o for_o a_o mind_n to_o take_v that_o which_o be_v give_v and_o to_o praise_v he_o who_o be_v please_v to_o impart_v it_o and_o it_o hold_v in_o all_o true_a vision_n without_o exception_n that_o a_o creature_n can_v do_v nothing_o at_o all_o either_o towards_o the_o more_o or_o the_o less_o and_o that_o all_o our_o diligence_n put_v together_o be_v neither_o able_a to_o do_v any_o thing_n nor_o undo_v for_o our_o lord_n will_v have_v we_o see_v very_o clear_o that_o this_o be_v no_o work_n of_o we_o but_o only_o of_o his_o divine_a majesty_n and_o so_o as_o that_o we_o be_v little_o move_v to_o be_v the_o proud_a by_o they_o but_o they_o rather_o make_v we_o more_o timorous_a and_o more_o humble_a whilst_o we_o find_v that_o as_o our_o lord_n deprive_v we_o of_o a_o power_n to_o see_v that_o which_o we_o desire_v so_o he_o can_v also_o take_v these_o favour_n yea_o and_o his_o grace_n from_o we_o too_o in_o such_o sort_n as_o that_o we_o may_v be_v utter_o lose_v we_o must_v therefore_o be_v always_o walk_v on_o with_o fear_n as_o long_o as_o we_o shall_v live_v here_o in_o this_o bannishment_n our_o lord_n have_v almost_o ever_o represent_v himself_o to_o i_o as_o after_o his_o lord_n resurrection_n he_o have_v also_o do_v it_o sometime_o in_o the_o sacred_a host_n sometime_o for_o strengthen_v i_o when_o i_o chance_v to_o be_v in_o tribulation_n he_o show_v i_o his_o wound_n and_o sometime_o also_o he_o vouchsafe_v that_o i_o shall_v see_v he_o just_a so_o as_o he_o be_v upon_o the_o cross_n and_o sometime_o as_o in_o the_o garden_n yea_o and_o also_o some_o seldom_o time_n with_o his_o crown_n of_o thorn_n upon_o his_o head_n and_o at_o other_o time_n carry_v his_o cross_n yet_o this_o as_o i_o be_v say_v use_v to_o occur_v but_o in_o the_o time_n of_o some_o necessity_n either_o of_o my_o own_o or_o of_o other_o but_o yet_o always_o as_o a_o glorified_a body_n and_o i_o have_v suffer_v affront_n and_o vexation_n enough_o in_o declare_v these_o thing_n and_o have_v grow_v subject_a thereby_o to_o great_a persecution_n and_o fear_n they_o make_v themselves_o so_o very_o sure_a that_o all_o this_o be_v the_o devil_n that_o there_o want_v not_o certain_a person_n who_o wish_v that_o i_o may_v be_v exorcife_v for_o that_o purpose_n yet_o this_o give_v i_o very_o little_a trouble_n but_o the_o thing_n which_o i_o feel_v in_o good_a earnest_n be_v either_o when_o my_o ghostly_a father_n be_v afraid_a to_o hear_v my_o confession_n or_o else_o when_o i_o come_v to_o know_v that_o they_o be_v tell_v tale_n but_o yet_o still_o upon_o the_o whole_a matter_n i_o know_v not_o how_o to_o make_v myself_o sorry_a for_o have_v see_v these_o celestial_a vision_n nor_o will_v i_o give_v any_o one_o of_o they_o all_o for_o all_o the_o greatness_n and_o delight_n of_o this_o whole_a world_n for_o i_o ever_o hold_v these_o thing_n to_o be_v a_o very_a great_a favour_n of_o our_o lord_n and_o i_o esteem_v they_o to_o be_v a_o excessive_a kind_n of_o treasure_n yea_o and_o our_o lord_n himself_o have_v assure_v i_o thereof_o many_o time_n withal_o i_o find_v myself_o grow_v hereby_o to_o love_v his_o divine_a majesty_n very_o much_o and_o so_o to_o he_o will_v i_o ever_o be_v go_v to_o complain_v of_o all_o the_o trouble_v i_o have_v and_o i_o always_o come_v out_o of_o prayer_n both_o with_o comfort_n and_o addition_n of_o strength_n as_o for_o they_o i_o will_v not_o presume_v to_o contradict_v they_o for_o i_o see_v it_o make_v thing_n worse_a as_o seem_v to_o they_o that_o it_o be_v want_v of_o humility_n in_o i_o but_o i_o communicate_v they_o still_o to_o my_o ghostly_a father_n and_o whensoever_o he_o find_v i_o afflict_v he_o be_v careful_a that_o i_o shall_v receive_v much_o comfort_n from_o he_o as_o my_o vision_n grew-on_a to_o increase_v one_o of_o they_o who_o assist_v i_o before_o who_o be_v a_o man_n that_o use_v to_o confess_v i_o sometime_o when_o the_o sub-rectour_a be_v not_o in_o the_o way_n to_o hear_v i_o begin_v to_o tell_v i_o how_o it_o be_v most_o certain_a that_o it_o be_v the_o devil_n and_o then_o they_o grow_v to_o saint_n command_v i_o since_o there_o be_v no_o other_o mean_n to_o resist_v he_o that_o i_o shall_v always_o be_v cross_v and_o blessing_n myself_o when_o i_o shall_v chance_v to_o see_v any_o vision_n and_o that_o i_o shall_v use_v some_o exterior_a action_n or_o sign_n of_o scorn_n that_o so_o he_o may_v be_v sure_a i_o hold_v he_o certain_o to_o be_v the_o devil_n and_o that_o perhaps_o by_o this_o mean_n he_o will_v come_v no_o more_o but_o that_o yet_o i_o shall_v be_v afraid_a of_o nothing_o because_o god_n will_v keep_v i_o still_o and_o will_v also_o take_v that_o temptation_n from_o i_o now_o this_o be_v painful_a enough_o to_o i_o for_o consider_v that_o i_o can_v not_o possible_o believe_v but_o that_o it_o be_v almighty_a god_n this_o proceed_n be_v very_o terrible_a for_o i_o to_o undergo_v nor_o be_v it_o also_o possible_a for_o i_o as_o of_o myself_o to_o desire_v that_o it_o may_v be_v take_v from_o i_o but_o yet_o in_o fine_a i_o perform_v all_o those_o act_n which_o they_o command_v and_o i_o beseech_v our_o bless_a lord_n with_o much_o instance_n to_o free_v i_o from_o it_o and_o i_o do_v it_o with_o abundance_n of_o tear_n i_o beg_v it_o also_o by_o the_o prayer_n of_o s._n peter_n and_o s._n paul_n in_o regard_n that_o i_o have_v have_v the_o first_o of_o all_o my_o vision_n upon_o the_o day_n of_o their_o festivitie_n our_o lord_n

and_o certain_o i_o will_v have_v suffer_v many_o year_n for_o the_o advantage_n and_o deliverance_n of_o a_o soul_n let_v our_o lord_n be_v praise_v for_o all_o for_o the_o prayer_n of_o such_o as_o serve_v he_o well_o can_v do_v much_o as_o i_o believe_v my_o sister_n do_v of_o this_o house_n but_o yet_o because_o i_o have_v be_v earnest_a in_o procure_v those_o prayer_n the_o devil_n will_v be_v more_o enrage_v against_o i_o then_o against_o other_o and_o our_o lord_n also_o permit_v that_o for_o my_o sin_n about_o this_o time_n also_o i_o once_o think_v that_o the_o devil_n will_v even_o have_v strangle_v i_o &_o it_o be_v by_o night_n but_o as_o soon_o as_o i_o have_v cause_v holie-water_n to_o be_v cast_v upon_o i_o i_o see_v a_o multitude_n of_o they_o run_v away_o as_o if_o they_o have_v be_v about_o to_o break_v their_o neck_n from_o some_o high_a rock_n and_o it_o be_v so_o frequent_a and_o familiar_a with_o i_o to_o be_v torment_v by_o these_o curse_a wretch_n and_o the_o fear_n which_o now_o i_o have_v of_o they_o be_v grow_v to_o be_v so_o very_o little_a by_o see_v that_o they_o be_v not_o so_o much_o as_o able_a to_o stir_v unless_o our_o bless_a lord_n give_v they_o leave_v that_o although_o it_o may_v be_v of_o comfort_n to_o myself_o yet_o i_o shall_v not_o fail_v to_o weary_v your_o reverence_n if_o i_o relate_v they_o but_o even_o that_o which_o be_v say_v already_o may_v serve_v to_o show_v that_o any_o true_a servant_n of_o almighty_a god_n may_v need_v to_o trouble_v themselves_o little_a at_o these_o idle_a fright_n and_o bugg-beares_a which_o the_o devil_n be_v wont_a to_o expose_v that_o so_o they_o may_v make_v we_o fear_v they_o and_o in_o fine_a let_v the_o world_n be_v sure_a that_o every_o time_n when_o we_o make_v they_o see_v that_o we_o despise_v they_o they_o will_v remain_v with_o so_o much_o the_o less_o strength_n after_o it_o and_o the_o soul_n as_o be_v a_o great_a princess_n than_o she_o be_v before_o will_v remain_v with_o so_o much_o more_o power_n and_o profit_n as_o i_o will_v not_o stand_v here_o to_o relate_v for_o fear_v of_o too_o much_o length_n but_o now_o i_o will_v only_o declare_v what_o happen_v to_o i_o once_o upon_o a_o all-soule_n day_n at_o night_n for_o be_v at_o that_o time_n in_o the_o oratory_n and_o have_v recite_v matin_n as_o also_o those_o so_o very_o devout_a prayer_n which_o be_v at_o the_o end_n thereof_o according_a to_o the_o breviarie_n the_o devil_n put_v himself_o upon_o the_o book_n to_o the_o end_n that_o i_o may_v not_o finish_v the_o prayer_n but_o i_o bless_v myself_o with_o make_v the_o sign_n of_o the_o holy_a cross_n and_o so_o he_o go_v present_o away_o but_o i_o begin_v again_o he_o also_o return_v and_o i_o think_v it_o be_v no_o less_o that_o the_o like_v happen_v than_o three_o time_n and_o till_o i_o cast_v holie-water_n at_o he_o i_o can_v not_o make_v a_o end_n of_o the_o business_n but_o then_o i_o plain_o see_v that_o some_o soul_n go_v out_o of_o purgatory_n at_o the_o instant_n who_o belike_o want_v very_o little_a of_o their_o deliverance_n and_o perhaps_o the_o devil_n mean_v to_o divert_v it_o it_o be_v seldom_o that_o i_o have_v see_v the_o devil_n in_o any_o exact_a and_o particular_a form_n or_o figure_n but_o many_o time_n without_o form_n as_o i_o do_v the_o vision_n for_o a_o body_n see_v very_o clear_o that_o he_o be_v there_o as_o i_o have_v declare_v already_o and_o i_o will_v now_o relate_v this_o also_o because_o it_o amaze_v i_o very_o much_o be_v one_o day_n in_o a_o certain_a monastery_n and_o in_o the_o choir_n and_o upon_o the_o festivitie_n of_o the_o bless_a trinity_n i_o chance_v to_o be_v in_o rapt_v and_o i_o see_v a_o great_a contention_n and_o strife_n between_o angel_n and_o devil_n yet_o not_o know_v what_o that_o vision_n may_v mean_v but_o about_o some_o fifteen_o day_n before_o it_o be_v hear_v that_o a_o certain_a great_a disagreement_n have_v happen_v between_o some_o person_n who_o be_v of_o prayer_n and_o many_o other_o also_o who_o be_v not_o so_o &_o there_o come_v a_o great_a deal_n of_o harm_n to_o the_o place_n where_o this_o occur_v for_o the_o strife_n continue_v long_o and_o it_o breed_v a_o very_a great_a deal_n of_o disquiet_n another_o time_n i_o see_v a_o multitude_n of_o they_o all_o round_a about_o i_o but_o then_o it_o seem_v to_o i_o that_o i_o be_v environ_v with_o a_o great_a kind_n of_o light_n which_o permit_v they_o not_o to_o approach_v and_o i_o understand_v thereby_o that_o our_o lord_n keep_v they_o off_o from_o come_v near_o i_o in_o any_o such_o sort_n as_o to_o make_v i_o offend_v his_o divine_a majesty_n and_o by_o that_o which_o i_o have_v find_v sometime_o in_o myself_o i_o conceive_v that_o it_o be_v a_o true_a vision_n the_o matter_n be_v that_o i_o now_o understand_v so_o very_o well_o how_o little_a power_n they_o have_v whensoever_o i_o go_v not_o against_o god_n that_o in_o effect_n i_o do_v not_o fear_v they_o at_o all_o for_o their_o strength_n be_v direct_o nothing_o unless_o they_o find_v the_o soul_n they_o set_v upon_o to_o be_v cowardly_a and_o yield_v to_o they_o but_o then_o indeed_o they_o show_v their_o power_n in_o some_o of_o those_o former_a temptation_n i_o think_v they_o employ_v themselves_o now_o and_o then_o upon_o awake_v and_o reviue_v in_o i_o the_o memory_n of_o all_o the_o frailty_n and_o vanity_n of_o my_o former_a time_n in_o such_o sort_n as_o that_o i_o have_v good_a cause_n to_o recommend_v myself_o much_o to_o almighty_a god_n but_o this_o put_v i_o to_o very_o much_o pain_n by_o make_v it_o seem_v to_o i_o that_o now_o it_o be_v all_o of_o the_o devil_n since_o those_o thought_n of_o i_o return_v till_o such_o time_n as_o my_o ghostly_a father_n put_v i_o in_o quiet_a for_o real_o it_o seem_v to_o i_o that_o even_o the_o first_o motion_n of_o ill_a thought_n be_v not_o so_o much_o as_o to_o approach_v any_o such_o person_n as_o have_v receive_v so_o great_a favour_n of_o our_o b._n lord_n at_o other_o time_n it_o torment_v i_o much_o yea_o and_o even_o it_o torment_v i_o still_o to_o see_v that_o man_n shall_v hold_v i_o in_o so_o high_a account_n and_o especial_o that_o it_o shall_v be_v do_v by_o eminent_a person_n and_o that_o they_o shall_v speak_v so_o much_o good_a of_o i_o and_o in_o this_o i_o have_v suffer_v and_o still_o suffer_v much_o but_o i_o quick_o cast_v my_o thought_n upon_o the_o life_n of_o christ_n our_o lord_n and_o his_o saint_n and_o i_o think_v i_o walk_v in_o a_o way_n which_o be_v very_o contrary_a to_o that_o of_o they_o for_o they_o aspire_v to_o nothing_o but_o to_o be_v subject_a to_o injury_n and_o contempt_n and_o this_o make_v i_o walk_v with_o such_o fear_n as_o that_o i_o even_o sarce_o dare_v hold_v up_o my_o head_n and_o will_v be_v glad_a to_o get_v myself_o out_o of_o sight_n which_o yet_o i_o never_o desire_v when_o i_o find_v myself_o subject_a to_o persecution_n for_o then_o my_o soul_n carry_v herself_o like_o a_o great_a lady_n whatsoever_o the_o body_n may_v feel_v i_o know_v not_o how_o these_o thing_n can_v stand_v but_o yet_o they_o pass_v in_o such_o sort_n that_o the_o soul_n seem_v then_o to_o be_v as_o in_o her_o kingdom_n and_o that_o she_o tread_v and_o trample_v all_o thing_n under_o her_o foot_n this_o occur_v to_o i_o several_a time_n and_o the_o same_o continue_v long_o and_o i_o think_v it_o be_v virtue_n and_o humility_n but_o now_o i_o see_v plain_o enough_o that_o it_o be_v a_o temptation_n and_o a_o dominican_n father_n a_o learned_a man_n declare_v it_o to_o i_o very_o well_o when_o i_o conceive_v that_o these_o favour_n which_o our_o b._n lord_n be_v please_v to_o do_v i_o will_v grow_v to_o be_v public_o know_v it_o be_v of_o so_o excessive_a a_o torment_n to_o i_o that_o it_o extreme_o disquiet_v my_o soul_n and_o it_o come_v at_o length_n to_o that_o pass_v that_o whilst_o i_o be_v consider_v the_o same_o i_o can_v more_o willing_o have_v be_v content_v to_o be_v bury_v quick_a then_o that_o any_o such_o thing_n shall_v arrive_v and_o so_o when_o i_o come_v to_o have_v those_o so_o great_a recollection_n and_o rapt_n as_o that_o it_o be_v not_o possible_a for_o i_o to_o resist_v they_o in_o public_a iremain_v so_o confound_v with_o shame_n afterward_o that_o i_o will_v have_v be_v glad_a not_o to_o appear_v where_o any_o creature_n who_o know_v i_o may_v see_v i_o and_o be_v once_o extreme_o afflict_v upon_o this_o account_n i_o be_v ask_v by_o our_o bless_a lord_n what_o it_o be_v whereof_o i_o be_v so_o much_o afraid_a for_o

it_o say_v he_o this_o can_v grow_v but_o from_o one_o of_o these_o two_o occasion_n namely_o that_o either_o it_o be_v because_o they_o will_v murmur_v against_o you_o orel_n for_o that_o they_o will_v praise_v and_o magnifye_v i_o mean_v that_o they_o who_o shall_v believe_v it_o will_v praise_v he_o and_o they_o who_o shall_v not_o believe_v it_o will_v condemn_v i_o though_o yet_o without_o any_o fault_n at_o all_o of_o i_o but_o he_o say_v that_o both_o those_o thing_n will_v prove_v to_o be_v of_o advantage_n to_o i_o and_o that_o therefore_o i_o must_v no_o long_o be_v trouble_v at_o it_o this_o quiet_v i_o very_o much_o then_o and_o it_o also_o comfort_v i_o now_o whensoever_o i_o call_v it_o to_o mind_n this_o temptation_n come_v on_o so_o far_o that_o it_o give_v i_o a_o inclination_n to_o quit_v this_o place_n and_o to_o carry_v my_o fortune_n with_o i_o to_o another_o monastery_n which_o be_v very_o much_o more_o enclose_v and_o shut_v up_o then_o that_o wherein_o i_o be_v for_o the_o present_a and_o i_o like_v it_o also_o the_o rather_o for_o that_o i_o have_v hear_v it_o extreme_o praise_v many_o way_n and_o beside_o it_o be_v a_o house_n of_o my_o own_o order_n yea_o and_o also_o very_o far_o off_o from_o my_o former_a abode_n and_o it_o be_v a_o thing_n which_o will_v have_v comfort_v i_o much_o to_o remain_v where_o i_o be_v utter_o unknown_a but_o my_o ghostly_a father_n will_v never_o permit_v it_o these_o fear_n do_v much_o deprive_v i_o of_o liberty_n of_o spirit_n but_o i_o come_v to_o understand_v afterward_o that_o it_o be_v no_o good_a humility_n since_o it_o give_v i_o such_o a_o deal_n of_o disquiet_n and_o our_o lord_n upon_o that_o occasion_n teach_v i_o this_o truth_n that_o if_o indeed_o indeed_o i_o be_v resolve_v and_o assure_v that_o nothing_o at_o all_o of_o i_o be_v good_a but_o that_o it_o be_v all_o of_o god_n it_o will_v follow_v that_o just_a so_o as_o i_o will_v not_o be_v sorry_a to_o hear_v other_o person_n praise_v but_o rather_o will_v be_v great_o comfort_v and_o joy_v that_o our_o lord_n do_v show_v himself_o in_o they_o so_o neither_o will_v i_o be_v sorry_a that_o his_o work_n may_v be_v also_o see_v in_o i_o i_o fall_v also_o upon_o another_o extreme_a and_o it_o be_v to_o beg_v of_o almighty_a god_n yea_o and_o i_o make_v particular_a prayer_n to_o this_o purpose_n that_o when_o by_o accident_n any_o person_n shall_v enter_v into_o good_a opinion_n of_o i_o his_o divine_a majesty_n will_v be_v please_v to_o declare_v my_o sin_n to_o he_o to_o the_o end_n that_o the_o man_n may_v see_v how_o absolute_o without_o any_o merit_n of_o i_o it_o please_v our_o b._n lord_n to_o do_v i_o favour_n and_o this_o do_v i_o ever_o much_o desire_n though_o my_o ghostly_a father_n have_v command_v i_o it_o not_o to_o ask_v it_o but_o hitherto_o till_o very_o late_o if_o i_o chance_v to_o see_v any_o person_n who_o think_v extraordinary_o well_o of_o i_o i_o take_v the_o best_a mean_n i_o can_v find_v by_o some_o devise_n or_o other_o to_o tell_v he_o my_o sin_n and_o thus_o i_o conceive_v myself_o to_o find_v ease_n but_o yet_o hereby_o they_o have_v put_v i_o into_o a_o kind_n of_o scruple_n that_o this_o proceed_v not_o in_o i_o from_o humility_n and_o that_o it_o rather_o grow_v from_o a_o temptation_n in_o regard_n that_o many_o come_v to_o i_o and_o i_o seem_v to_o have_v cozen_v they_o all_o but_o though_o it_o be_v very_o true_a that_o they_o be_v indeed_o deceive_v if_o they_o think_v that_o there_o be_v any_o goodness_n in_o i_o yet_o have_v i_o no_o desire_n at_o all_o to_o deceive_v they_o nor_o do_v i_o ever_o pretend_v any_o such_o thing_n but_o that_o our_o bless_a lord_n may_v have_v perhaps_o permit_v it_o and_o so_o for_o the_o selfsame_a reason_n i_o will_v never_o have_v impart_v any_o private_a accident_n of_o i_o which_o be_v no_o sin_n even_o to_o my_o very_a ghostly_a father_n themselves_o unless_o i_o have_v find_v it_o to_o be_v whole_o necessary_a for_o i_o shall_v otherwise_o have_v have_v much_o scruple_n to_o do_v it_o but_o now_o i_o see_v very_o well_o that_o all_o these_o little_a truth_n fear_n and_o trouble_n &_o superfluity_n of_o ill-grounded_a humility_n do_v savour_n very_o sufficient_o of_o imperfection_n and_o proceed_v from_o the_o immortification_n of_o the_o soul_n for_o to_o a_o soul_n which_o be_v well_o resign_v into_o the_o hand_n of_o almighty_a god_n it_o do_v not_o import_v she_o a_o iott_n more_o that_o they_o shall_v speak_v well_o of_o she_o then_o ill_o if_o once_o she_o understand_v well_o and_o home_n forasmuch_o as_o god_n will_v give_v she_o that_o grace_n that_o she_o have_v nothing_o at_o all_o of_o herself_o but_o let_v she_o confide_v in_o he_o who_o impart_v it_o and_o she_o shall_v know_v in_o time_n why_o he_o discover_v it_o and_o in_o the_o mean_a while_n let_v she_o prepare_v herself_o for_o persecution_n for_o it_o will_v most_o certain_o arrive_v in_o such_o a_o age_n as_o this_o upon_o any_o such_o person_n as_o to_o who_o our_o lord_n will_v have_v it_o know_v that_o he_o do_v she_o such_o favour_n as_o these_o for_o upon_o any_o such_o soul_n as_o this_o a_o thousand_o watchful_a eye_n will_v be_v cast_v whereas_o there_o will_v not_o be_v one_o upon_o a_o whole_a thousand_o of_o such_o other_o soul_n as_o be_v of_o a_o contrary_a make_n and_o there_o be_v real_o much_o cause_n to_o fear_v this_o and_o it_o ought_v to_o have_v be_v my_o fear_n that_o the_o other_o be_v truth_n not_o humility_n but_o pusillanimity_n for_o a_o soul_n which_o almighty_a god_n permit_v to_o be_v expose_v thus_o to_o the_o sight_n of_o the_o world_n may_v expect_v to_o be_v a_o martyr_n of_o the_o same_o world_n for_o if_o she_o will_v not_o die_v to_o it_o she_o shall_v die_v by_o it_o for_o my_o part_n i_o real_o see_v nothing_o in_o this_o thing_n call_v world_n which_o seem_v good_a to_o i_o except_o only_o that_o it_o give_v not_o way_n that_o worthy_a and_o good_a people_n shall_v be_v permit_v to_o do_v ill_a without_o be_v murmur_v at_o for_o their_o labour_n and_o by_o this_o mean_n they_o grow_v to_o perfect_v themselves_o but_o there_o be_v need_n of_o more_o fortitude_n and_o courage_n for_o a_o man_n who_o be_v yet_o imperfect_a to_o walke-on_a towards_o a_o way_n of_o perfection_n then_o even_o to_o be_v instant_o make_v a_o martyr_n for_o perfection_n be_v not_o so_o quick_o get_v unless_o it_o be_v by_o some_o such_o person_n as_o to_o who_o our_o bless_a lord_n may_v vouchsafe_v that_o favour_n by_o way_n of_o a_o particular_a privilege_n but_o the_o world_n discern_v once_o that_o a_o man_n begin_v to_o aspire_v to_o do_v well_o will_v needs_o account_v he_o perfect_a at_o a_o instant_n and_o then_o will_v it_o present_o see_v any_o fault_n in_o he_o if_o he_o have_v any_o though_o it_o be_v a_o thousand_o league_n off_o yea_o and_o perhaps_o that_o which_o they_o hold_v to_o be_v a_o fault_n in_o he_o shall_v indeed_o be_v a_o virtue_n and_o the_o other_o who_o condemn_v he_o and_o be_v wont_a peradventure_o to_o do_v the_o selfsame_a thing_n by_o a_o impulse_n of_o vice_n will_v judge_v ill_a of_o it_o in_o another_o so_o that_o according_a to_o his_o dictamen_fw-la that_o other_o man_n shall_v neither_o eat_v nor_o sleep_n nor_o even_o as_o it_o be_v draw_v his_o breath_n and_o the_o more_o also_o they_o esteem_v such_o person_n the_o more_o apt_a be_v they_o to_o forget_v that_o how_o perfect_a soever_o their_o soul_n be_v and_o how_o absolute_o soever_o they_o tread_v the_o whole_a world_n under_o their_o foot_n yet_o still_o they_o be_v in_o the_o body_n and_o live_v upon_o earth_n and_o be_v subject_a to_o the_o misery_n of_o their_o condition_n and_o therefore_o still_o i_o say_v that_o there_o be_v need_n of_o a_o great_a deal_n of_o courage_n because_o such_o man_n have_v a_o mind_n that_o the_o poor_a soul_n which_o have_v not_o yet_o begin_v to_o walk_v shall_v already_o fly_v she_o have_v not_o yet_o overcome_v and_o mortify_v her_o passion_n and_o yet_o these_o man_n will_v needs_o expect_v that_o she_o shall_v remain_v as_o entire_a and_o firm_a as_o they_o have_v read_v of_o saint_n themselves_o after_o they_o be_v confirm_v in_o grace_n the_o particular_n which_o occur_v in_o this_o kind_n be_v to_o give_v a_o man_n cause_n to_o wonder_n and_o withal_o even_o to_o afflict_v we_o to_o the_o hart_n to_o see_v so_o many_o soul_n turn_v back_o again_o which_o know_v not_o poor_a creature_n as_o they_o be_v what_o shift_n to_o make_v for_o themselves_o and_o so_o do_v i_o believe_v that_o i_o have_v also_o do_v if_o our_o

may_v hope_v from_o those_o terrible_a and_o perpetual_a torment_n since_o that_o time_n as_o i_o be_v say_v there_o be_v nothing_o which_o seem_v not_o easy_a to_o i_o in_o comparison_n of_o one_o moment_n of_o that_o which_o be_v to_o be_v suffer_v there_o and_o i_o be_v in_o a_o very_a great_a wonder_n that_o have_v so_o often_o read_v diverse_a book_n which_o give_v i_o some_o notice_n of_o a_o part_n of_o the_o torment_n of_o hell_n i_o fear_v they_o so_o little_a and_o hold_v they_o in_o so_o small_a account_n consider_v in_o what_o case_n i_o be_v then_o and_o how_o it_o be_v possible_a for_o i_o to_o receive_v contentment_n in_o any_o such_o thing_n as_o final_o be_v to_o carry_v i_o on_o to_o so_o wretched_a a_o place_n as_o that_o be_v be_v thou_o eternal_o bless_v o_o my_o god_n for_o how_o well_o have_v thou_o make_v it_o appear_v that_o thou_o love_v i_o incomparable_o better_a than_o i_o do_v myself_o how_o often_o o_o my_o dear_a lord_n have_v thou_o deliver_v i_o from_o that_o dark_a and_o horrible_a dungeon_n and_o how_o often_o have_v i_o return_v to_o cast_v myself_o in_o thither_o again_o even_o against_o thy_o will_n from_o hence_o also_o i_o get_v a_o facility_n to_o be_v in_o very_o great_a pain_n for_o the_o many_o soul_n of_o these_o lutheran_n which_o be_v condemn_v to_o hell_n and_o especial_o because_o they_o have_v once_o be_v member_n of_o the_o holy_a catholic_a church_n by_o their_o baptism_n i_o gain_v also_o great_a impulse_n to_o do_v good_a to_o soul_n and_o real_o it_o seem_v to_o i_o to_o be_v very_o certain_a that_o for_o the_o save_n of_o any_o of_o they_o from_o so_o grievous_a and_o everlasting_a torment_n i_o can_v suffer_v many_o death_n with_o a_o very_a good_a will_n for_o i_o consider_v that_o if_o we_o see_v a_o person_n in_o this_o world_n who_o we_o love_v undergo_v any_o great_a affliction_n or_o pain_n it_o seem_v that_o even_o our_o natural_a disposition_n invite_v we_o to_o have_v compassion_n of_o the_o case_n and_o so_o much_o as_o that_o pain_n be_v great_a so_o much_o the_o more_o and_o therefore_o now_o to_o see_v a_o soul_n which_o be_v for_o ever_o to_o be_v enchain_v to_o the_o endure_v of_o that_o supreme_a affliction_n and_o misery_n of_o all_o misery_n who_o shall_v be_v able_a to_o bear_v it_o and_o what_o hart_n can_v ever_o brook_v it_o without_o strange_a trouble_n and_o since_o we_o be_v move_v here_o to_o so_o much_o compassion_n of_o man_n who_o misery_n have_v yet_o a_o term_n prefix_v and_o at_o the_o further_a they_o be_v to_o end_v with_o their_o life_n how_o shall_v we_o be_v able_a to_o get_v patience_n for_o think_v of_o the_o infinite_a torment_n of_o those_o other_o consider_v what_o a_o huge_a number_n of_o soul_n the_o devil_n be_v daily_o carry_v into_o hell_n this_o consideration_n also_o make_v i_o desire_v that_o in_o a_o business_n of_o so_o mighty_a importance_n we_o may_v not_o be_v satisfy_v with_o less_o than_o the_o do_v of_o the_o very_a uttermost_a we_o can_v on_o our_o part_n and_o that_o we_o leave_v nothing_o at_o all_o unattempted_a to_o secure_v ourselves_o by_o that_o mean_n and_o i_o humble_o beseech_v our_o bless_a lord_n to_o give_v we_o all_o his_o grace_n for_o this_o purpose_n when_o i_o consider_v that_o howsoever_o i_o be_v former_o most_o wicked_a yet_o have_v i_o some_o little_a care_n to_o ferue_v almighty_a god_n not_o yet_o do_v i_o then_o commit_v certain_a thing_n which_o be_v take_v and_o swallow_v down_o by_o the_o world_n as_o familiar_o as_o to_o turn_v the_o hand_n and_o with_o this_o i_o endure_v huge_a sickness_n and_o i_o do_v it_o with_o that_o great_a patience_n which_o our_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o give_v i_o for_o that_o purpose_n and_o i_o be_v also_o not_o incline_v to_o murmur_v and_o detract_v or_o to_o speak_v hardly_o of_o any_o creature_n nay_o it_o seem_v to_o i_o as_o if_o i_o scarce_o have_v power_n to_o with_o any_o body_n any_o ill_n nor_o be_v i_o covetous_a nor_o envious_a for_o any_o thing_n that_o i_o can_v ever_o remember_v at_o least_o to_o any_o such_o proportion_n as_o may_v result_v to_o the_o great_a offence_n of_o almighty_a god_n and_o some_o other_o thing_n also_o there_o be_v wherein_o though_o i_o be_v very_o wicked_a i_o have_v usual_o the_o fear_n of_o almighty_a god_n before_o i_o and_o yet_o notwithstanding_o all_o this_o i_o see_v where_o the_o devil_n 471._o have_v take_v up_o and_o provide_v my_o lodging_n and_o it_o be_v true_a that_o consider_v what_o my_o fault_n have_v be_v it_o seem_v to_o i_o that_o i_o yet_o deserve_v more_o punishment_n but_o howsoever_o upon_o the_o whole_a matter_n i_o declare_v that_o it_o be_v a_o most_o horrible_a torment_n and_o and_o that_o it_o be_v a_o dangerous_a thing_n that_o the_o soul_n shall_v take_v contentment_n and_o be_v at_o rest_n which_o be_v fall_v every_o minute_n into_o mortal_a sinne._n nay_o rather_o for_o the_o love_n of_o almighty_a god_n let_v we_o remove_v all_o the_o occasion_n thereof_o for_o our_o lord_n will_v help_v we_o all_o as_o he_o have_v do_v i_o and_o i_o humble_o beseech_v his_o divine_a majesty_n not_o to_o give_v over_o to_o hold_v i_o fast_o in_o his_o hand_n least_z if_o he_o do_v i_o return_v to_o fall_v for_o in_o that_o case_n i_o see_v already_o what_o be_v to_o become_v of_o i_o for_o ever_o but_o i_o beseech_v our_o b._n lord_n again_o not_o to_o suffer_v it_o even_o for_o his_o own_o mercy_n sake_n amen_n but_o now_o after_o my_o see_v all_o this_o as_o also_o many_o other_o great_a thing_n and_o secret_n which_o our_o lord_n through_o his_o own_o mercy_n be_v please_v to_o show_v i_o concern_v the_o glory_n which_o be_v design_v in_o the_o next_o life_n for_o the_o good_a and_o the_o torment_n for_o the_o wicked_a and_o i_o procure_v now_o to_o light_v upon_o some_o way_n or_o mean_n whereby_o i_o may_v do_v penance_n for_o so_o much_o ill_a as_o i_o have_v commit_v and_o may_v be_v able_a also_o to_o do_v somewhat_o towards_o the_o obtain_n of_o so_o great_a a_o good_a i_o desire_v even_o to_o fly_v out_o of_o the_o sight_n of_o mankind_n and_o now_o at_o length_n once_o for_o all_o to_o divide_v myself_o from_o the_o world_n and_o to_o part_v from_o it_o and_o my_o hart_n will_v now_o be_v quiet_a no_o long_o but_o yet_o be_v not_o that_o disquiet_n of_o i_o any_o troublesome_a kind_n of_o thing_n but_o rather_o of_o contentment_n and_o gust_n and_o it_o be_v evident_a that_o it_o come_v from_o almighty_a god_n and_o that_o his_o divine_a majesty_n have_v give_v heat_n enough_o to_o this_o soul_n of_o i_o for_o the_o digest_v of_o other_o and_o strong_a meat_n than_o she_o have_v former_o take_v cause_n and_o now_o i_o begin_v to_o consider_v what_o i_o may_v possible_o he_o able_a to_o do_v for_o almighty_a god_n and_o the_o first_o thing_n i_o think_v be_v to_o follow_v that_o first_o call_v which_o his_o divine_a majesty_n have_v give_v i_o to_o lead_v a_o religious_a life_n and_o that_o by_o the_o observance_n of_o my_o rule_n with_o the_o great_a perfection_n that_o i_o can_v practice_v and_o though_o there_o be_v in_o the_o monastery_n wherein_o i_o find_v myself_o at_o that_o time_n many_o servant_n of_o almighty_a god_n by_o who_o he_o be_v very_o much_o serve_v in_o that_o place_n yet_o in_o regard_n they_o want_v temporal_a mean_n many_o of_o the_o religious_a woman_n be_v cast_v into_o a_o kind_n of_o necessity_n to_o go_v abroad_o sometime_o for_o relief_n of_o the_o house_n but_o yet_o they_o do_v it_o so_o as_o to_o pass_v with_o all_o kind_n of_o chastity_n and_o piety_n and_o beside_o that_o house_n be_v not_o found_v according_a to_o the_o first_o rigour_n of_o the_o rule_n but_o only_o the_o same_o rule_n be_v observe_v in_o conformity_n with_o all_o the_o rest_n of_o the_o order_n according_a to_o the_o bull_n of_o relaxation_n and_o dispensation_n there_o be_v also_o some_o other_o inconvenience_n and_o beside_o it_o seem_v to_o i_o that_o the_o place_n be_v of_o much_o regalo_n in_o regard_n that_o it_o be_v both_o large_a and_o pleasant_a but_o especial_o the_o inconvenience_n of_o go_v sometime_o out_o of_o the_o monastery_n be_v grow_v to_o be_v a_o very_a great_a one_o for_o i_o though_o former_o i_o have_v be_v one_o who_o make_v most_o familiar_a use_n of_o it_o myself_o in_o regard_n that_o sometime_o some_o person_n who_o the_o superior_n be_v importune_v can_v not_o well_o refuse_v take_v contentment_n that_o i_o shall_v accompany_v they_o who_o go_v abroad_o and_o by_o this_o mean_n according_a to_o the_o use_n which_o be_v hold_v i_o may_v grow_v by_o degree_n to_o remain_v very_o

desire_v for_o four_o or_o five_o year_n together_o before_o her_o end_n and_o then_o she_o die_v upon_o a_o sudden_a without_o be_v so_o much_o as_o visit_v and_o much_o less_o confess_v but_o the_o happiness_n be_v that_o according_a to_o the_o custom_n which_o she_o have_v hold_v there_o be_v little_o more_o than_o eight_o day_n expire_v after_o her_o last_o confession_n this_o make_v i_o a_o very_a glad_a woman_n when_o i_o know_v of_o her_o death_n and_o she_o stay_v a_o very_a short_a time_n in_o purgatory_n nor_o be_v it_o yet_o above_o eight_o day_n since_o our_o lord_n appear_v to_o i_o after_o i_o have_v receive_v the_o bless_a sacrament_n and_o be_v please_v to_o let_v i_o see_v how_o he_o carry_v my_o sister_n soul_n into_o glory_n in_o all_o these_o year_n from_o the_o time_n when_o the_o particular_a concern_v she_o be_v tell_v i_o till_o her_o very_a death_n i_o forget_v not_o that_o which_o have_v be_v give_v i_o to_o be_v understand_v concern_v she_o as_o neither_o also_o do_v my_o companion_n for_o as_o soon_o as_o she_o have_v hear_v of_o my_o sister_n death_n she_o come_v towards_o i_o with_o much_o admiration_n to_o see_v how_o all_o have_v be_v fulfil_v let_v our_o lord_n be_v praise_v for_o ever_o who_o vouchsafe_v to_o take_v such_o care_n of_o soul_n to_o the_o end_n that_o they_o may_v not_o perish_v amen_n the_o five_o and_o thirty_o chapter_n she_o prosecute_v the_o same_o discourse_n about_o the_o foundation_n of_o this_o house_n of_o our_o glorious_a father_n s._n joseph_n she_o speak_v of_o the_o degree_n by_o which_o our_o lord_n come_v to_o appoint_v that_o holy_a poverty_n shall_v be_v ordain_v there_o and_o of_o the_o cause_n why_o she_o come_v from_o that_o lady_n with_o who_o she_o be_v and_o of_o other_o thing_n also_o which_o succeed_v but_o now_o whilst_o i_o be_v with_o that_o lady_n of_o who_o i_o have_v speak_v and_o with_o who_o i_o have_v remain_v more_o than_o half_a a_o year_n our_o lord_n do_v so_o ordain_v that_o a_o certain_a holy_a woman_n of_o our_o order_n fall_v out_o to_o come_v from_o a_o place_n which_o be_v no_o less_o than_o threescore_o and_o then_o league_n off_o from_o this_o and_o to_o arrive_v here_o and_o to_o lengthen_v her_o way_n by_o some_o league_n on_o purpose_n to_o speak_v with_o i_o our_o lord_n have_v move_v she_o to_o this_o in_o the_o selfsame_a year_n when_o he_o move_v i_o to_o make_v another_o monastery_n of_o this_o order_n and_o as_o soon_o as_o she_o have_v entertain_v this_o desire_n she_o sell_v whatsoever_o she_o possess_v and_o go_v herself_o barefoot_a to_o rome_n to_o get_v and_o bring-away_a the_o dispatch_n of_o this_o business_n this_o woman_n be_v a_o person_n of_o much_o penance_n and_o prayer_n and_o our_o lord_n do_v she_o many_o favour_n and_o our_o b._n lady_n appear_v to_o she_o and_o require_v she_o still_o to_o do_v what_o she_o be_v do_v and_o she_o serve_v our_o bless_a lord_n so_o incomparable_o beyond_o any_o thing_n that_o i_o can_v do_v that_o i_o be_v in_o confusion_n even_o to_o appear_v in_o her_o presence_n she_o show_v i_o the_o dispatch_n which_o she_o bring_v from_o rome_n and_o in_o those_o fifteen_o day_n which_o she_o stay_v with_o i_o we_o take_v order_n how_o we_o will_v make_v these_o monastery_n and_o till_o i_o have_v speak_v with_o she_o it_o never_o have_v come_v to_o my_o knowledge_n that_o our_o rule_n till_o it_o be_v relax_v do_v ever_o command_v that_o none_o of_o the_o religious_a house_n of_o our_o order_n shall_v have_v any_o propriety_n in_o any_o good_n nor_o have_v myself_o have_v any_o purpose_n to_o find_v any_o monastery_n at_o all_o without_o revenue_n for_o my_o intention_n be_v that_o we_o shall_v be_v free_a from_o the_o care_n of_o procure_v any_o such_o thing_n as_o we_o may_v be_v in_o necessity_n to_o use_v but_o this_o bless_a woman_n have_v be_v instruct_v by_o our_o lord_n be_v grow_v to_o understand_v that_o truth_n very_o well_o without_o be_v able_a so_o much_o as_o to_o read_v of_o which_o truth_n i_o be_v ignorant_a even_o after_o have_v take_v so_o much_o pain_n to_o read_v over_o the_o constitution_n of_o our_o order_n and_o as_o soon_o as_o she_o acquaint_v i_o with_o her_o purpose_n i_o like_v it_o well_o though_o yet_o i_o be_v afraid_a that_o it_o will_v not_o be_v yield_v to_o but_o that_o they_o will_v say_v perhaps_o that_o these_o be_v but_o impertinency_n and_o wish_v that_o i_o will_v not_o do_v any_o thing_n whereby_o other_o may_v be_v put_v to_o suffer_v through_o my_o fault_n though_o yet_o in_o very_a deed_n if_o i_o have_v be_v alone_o i_o will_v not_o have_v be_v detain_v one_o minute_n from_o do_v it_o since_o it_o will_v be_v a_o regalo_n to_o my_o soul_n to_o observe_v &_o follow_v the_o counsel_n of_o jesus-christ_n our_o lord_n for_o real_o his_o divine_a majesty_n have_v already_o give_v i_o great_a desire_n to_o observe_v poverty_n so_o that_o for_o my_o part_n i_o make_v no_o doubt_n but_o that_o this_o be_v best_a yea_o and_o i_o have_v long_o desire_v that_o it_o may_v be_v possible_a and_o compatible_a with_o my_o state_n that_o i_o may_v go_v beg_v my_o bread_n for_o the_o love_n of_o god_n without_o have_v so_o much_o as_o a_o house_n or_o any_o thing_n else_o but_o only_o i_o be_v in_o fear_n that_o if_o our_o bless_a lord_n shall_v not_o give_v the_o selfsame_a desire_n to_o other_o which_o he_o give_v to_o i_o they_o will_v live_v perhaps_o with_o disgust_n and_o consequent_o that_o it_o may_v prove_v a_o cause_n of_o some_o distraction_n or_o division_n for_o i_o see_v that_o there_o be_v some_o poor_a monastery_n which_o live_v not_o with_o much_o recollection_n and_o i_o consider_v not_o that_o their_o not_o be_v recollect_v be_v the_o cause_n of_o their_o be_v so_o poor_a and_o not_o their_o poverty_n the_o cause_n of_o their_o want_n of_o recollection_n for_o distraction_n make_v they_o not_o more_o rich_a nor_o be_v ever_o almighty_a god_n want_v to_o such_o as_o serve_v he_o in_o fine_a my_o faith_n be_v weak_a which_o that_o of_o this_o servant_n of_o god_n be_v not_o but_o now_o i_o who_o will_v be_v take_v the_o opinion_n of_o so_o many_o person_n for_o every_o thing_n which_o i_o be_v to_o do_v can_v find_v no_o body_n of_o this_o mind_n no_o nor_o even_o my_o ghostly_a father_n himself_o nor_o yet_o those_o other_o learned_a man_n who_o i_o consult_v in_o the_o case_n but_o they_o bring_v i_o so_o many_o reason_n against_o it_o that_o i_o know_v not_o which_o way_n to_o turn_v myself_o for_o i_o for_o my_o part_n who_o know_v already_o that_o it_o be_v the_o rule_n of_o the_o order_n and_o know_v also_o that_o it_o be_v a_o point_n of_o more_o perfection_n can_v not_o persuade_v myself_o to_o have_v revenue_n and_o though_o sometime_o they_o convince_v i_o towards_o their_o opinion_n yet_o still_o when_o i_o return_v to_o prayer_n and_o consider_v christ_n our_o lord_n so_o very_o poor_a and_o naked_a upon_o the_o cross_n i_o be_v not_o able_a so_o much_o as_o to_o find_v patience_n for_o be_v rich_a but_o i_o humble_o beseech_v he_o with_o tear_n to_o ordain_v thing_n in_o such_o sort_n that_o i_o may_v be_v poor_a like_v he_o and_o i_o find_v so_o many_o inconvenience_n even_o in_o have_v revenue_n and_o find_v it_o to_o be_v so_o great_a a_o cause_n of_o disquiet_n yea_o and_o even_o of_o distraction_n also_o that_o i_o do_v nothing_o but_o dispute_v the_o business_n with_o those_o learned_a man_n i_o write_v also_o about_o it_o to_o that_o religious_a man_n of_o s._n dominick_n order_n who_o assist_v we_o and_o he_o send_v i_o two_o sheet_n of_o paper_n which_o he_o have_v write_v by_o way_n of_o contradiction_n to_o i_o and_o he_o ground_v himself_o in_o theology_n for_o the_o persuade_v i_o not_o to_o do_v it_o yea_o and_o he_o tell_v i_o that_o he_o have_v study_v the_o point_n very_o well_o to_o which_o i_o answer_v he_o that_o for_o not_o follow_v my_o vocation_n and_o for_o not_o perform_v the_o vow_n which_o i_o have_v make_v of_o poverty_n and_o embrace_v the_o counsel_n of_o christ_n our_o lord_n in_o all_o perfection_n i_o mean_v not_o to_o make_v use_n of_o his_o theology_n nor_o of_o his_o learning_n and_o therefore_o that_o in_o this_o case_n he_o may_v be_v please_v to_o excuse_v i_o for_o my_o part_n i_o be_v very_o glad_a when_o i_o find_v any_o creature_n who_o will_v help_v i_o and_o the_o lady_n with_o who_o i_o be_v assist_v i_o particular_o herein_o there_o be_v other_o also_o who_o tell_v i_o instant_o at_o the_o first_o that_o they_o like_v it_o well_o but_o afterward_o when_o they_o consider_v it_o better_o they_o

find_v so_o many_o inconvenience_n in_o it_o that_o they_o be_v earnest_a in_o persuade_v i_o not_o to_o proceed_v therein_o but_o now_o i_o tell_v they_o heerupon_o that_o if_o they_o change_v their_o opinion_n so_o soon_o i_o will_v hold_v myself_o fast_o to_o the_o first_o at_o this_o time_n upon_o my_o entreaty_n and_o because_o this_o lady_n have_v never_o see_v that_o holy_a man_n fray_n pedro_n de_fw-fr alcantara_n our_o lord_n be_v please_v that_o he_o shall_v come_v to_o her_o house_n and_o he_o be_v so_o great_a a_o lover_n of_o poverty_n and_o have_v observe_v and_o practise_v it_o so_o many_o year_n be_v not_o ignorant_a of_o the_o riches_n which_o it_o contain_v and_o so_o he_o assist_v i_o much_o and_o command_v i_o that_o i_o shall_v by_o no_o mean_n forbear_v to_o carrie-on_a my_o desire_n and_o now_o through_o his_o opinion_n and_o help_v he_o be_v a_o person_n who_o can_v best_o give_v counsel_n in_o it_o as_o understand_v the_o matter_n in_o hand_n by_o long_a experience_n i_o resolve_v that_o i_o will_v go_v seek_v no_o further_o and_o be_v one_o day_n recommend_v the_o matter_n earnest_o to_o christ_n our_o lord_n it_o please_v he_o to_o tell_v i_o express_o that_o i_o shall_v by_o no_o mean_n forbear_v to_o make_v the_o monastery_n poor_a that_o this_o be_v both_o his_o father_n will_n and_o his_o and_o that_o he_o will_v help_v i_o in_o it_o now_o there_o be_v so_o great_a effect_n hereof_o in_o a_o rapt_v which_o i_o have_v that_o i_o can_v by_o no_o mean_n doubt_n but_o that_o it_o be_v of_o almighty_a god_n another_o time_n he_o tell_v i_o that_o there_o be_v confusion_n in_o have_v revenue_n and_o he_o say_v also_o other_o thing_n in_o praise_n of_o poverty_n assure_v i_o that_o no_o such_o thing_n as_o be_v necessary_a for_o the_o life_n of_o man_n shall_v ever_o be_v want_v to_o such_o as_o serve_v he_o of_o which_o want_n as_o i_o be_v say_v i_o never_o be_v in_o fear_n for_o my_o part_n our_o lord_n do_v also_o turn_v the_o hart_n of_o the_o religious_a man_n of_o s._n dominick_n order_n of_o who_o i_o say_v that_o he_o write_v to_o forbid_v i_o to_o make_v the_o monastery_n without_o revenue_n and_o now_o i_o be_v very_o well_o please_v upon_o the_o understanding_n of_o this_o and_o upon_o have_v also_o get_v some_o other_o vote_n i_o think_v i_o possess_v all_o the_o riches_n in_o the_o world_n by_o resolve_v to_o live_v on_o alm_n for_o the_o love_n of_o our_o lord_n about_o this_o time_n do_v my_o provincial_n discharge_v his_o commandment_n under_o obedience_n which_o he_o have_v impose_v upon_o i_o for_o stay_v there_o and_o leave_v it_o in_o my_o own_o choice_n either_o to_o return_v or_o else_o to_o stay_v for_o a_o certain_a time_n but_o there_o be_v now_o a_o election_n of_o a_o prioress_n to_o be_v make_v in_o our_o monastery_n and_o they_o advertise_v i_o that_o there_o be_v many_o who_o desire_v to_o impose_v that_o charge_n upon_o i_o whereof_o the_o only_o think_v be_v of_o so_o great_a torment_n to_o i_o that_o i_o can_v easy_o have_v resolve_v myself_o to_o endure_v any_o other_o martyrdom_n in_o the_o whole_a world_n for_o the_o love_n of_o god_n but_o by_o no_o mean_n persuade_v myself_o to_o this_o for_o beside_o the_o great_a trouble_n in_o regard_n that_o they_o be_v so_o very_a many_o in_o the_o house_n which_o point_n i_o never_o like_v and_o for_o other_o reason_n also_o which_o do_v occur_v beside_o that_o i_o never_o love_v to_o have_v office_n but_o do_v ever_o refuse_v they_o all_o it_o seem_v to_o i_o that_o it_o be_v to_o put_v my_o conscience_n itself_o in_o great_a hazard_n and_o so_o i_o bless_v almighty_a god_n for_o my_o not_o be_v present_a in_o the_o place_n &_o i_o write_v also_o to_o some_o friend_n of_o i_o that_o they_o will_v not_o give_v i_o their_o vote_n but_o when_o now_o i_o be_v so_o much_o please_v not_o to_o find_v myself_o there_o in_o that_o noise_n our_o lord_n tell_v i_o that_o i_o shall_v by_o no_o mean_n forbear_v to_o go_v and_o that_o since_o i_o desire_v a_o cross_n there_o be_v now_o a_o good_a great_a one_o provide_v for_o i_o and_o that_o i_o must_v not_o throw_v it_o away_o but_o go_v on_o with_o resolution_n and_o courage_n and_o that_o he_o will_v help_v i_o and_o therefore_o that_o i_o must_v instant_o go_v at_o this_o i_o be_v mighty_o trouble_v and_o do_v nothing_o but_o weep_v for_o i_o think_v it_o have_v be_v the_o cross_n of_o be_v superior_a and_o as_o i_o be_v say_v before_o i_o can_v not_o persuade_v myself_o that_o this_o can_v possible_o be_v good_a for_o my_o soul_n in_o any_o kind_n nor_o can_v i_o find_v any_o reason_n at_o all_o to_o induce_v i_o to_o it_o i_o relate_v all_o this_o story_n to_o my_o ghostly_a father_n and_o he_o command_v i_o to_o be_v go_v for_o it_o be_v evident_o of_o more_o perfection_n to_o do_v so_o but_o only_o because_o the_o heat_n be_v great_a i_o may_v yet_o stay_v where_o i_o be_v some_o few_o day_n for_o fear_n lest_o else_o the_o journey_n may_v do_v i_o harm_n and_o that_o in_o substance_n it_o will_v suffice_v if_o i_o be_v there_o when_o the_o election_n shall_v be_v make_v but_o our_o bless_a lord_n have_v order_v thing_n otherwise_o the_o business_n of_o my_o journey_n be_v instant_o to_o be_v dispatch_v and_o do_v for_o the_o restlessness_n which_o i_o have_v in_o myself_o be_v very_o great_a together_o with_o my_o even_o want_v power_n to_o make_v my_o prayer_n and_o it_o seem_v also_o to_o i_o withal_o that_o i_o fall_v short_a in_o the_o performance_n of_o what_o our_o bless_a lord_n have_v express_o command_v i_o and_o the_o while_n i_o do_v but_o pass_v my_o time_n there_o in_o ease_n and_o pleasure_n that_o it_o may_v seem_v as_o if_o i_o have_v no_o mind_n at_o all_o to_o labour_v and_o suffer_v and_o that_o all_o be_v upon_o the_o matter_n but_o talk_v whensoever_o there_o grow_v to_o be_v question_n of_o serve_v almighty_a god_n for_o else_o i_o be_v able_a to_o be_v where_o it_o be_v more_o perfection_n for_o i_o to_o find_v myself_o why_o do_v i_o forbear_v to_o effect_v it_o and_o if_o i_o shall_v die_v by_o the_o way_n in_o god_n name_n let_v i_o die_v but_o in_o the_o mean_a time_n beside_o all_o the_o rest_n i_o find_v myself_o with_o a_o great_a press_v upon_o my_o very_a hart_n and_o our_o lord_n have_v whole_o deprive_v i_o of_o all_o kind_n of_o gust_n in_o my_o prayer_n in_o a_o word_n i_o be_v bring_v to_o such_o a_o condition_n as_o that_o now_o i_o be_v in_o a_o great_a deal_n of_o torment_n and_o i_o humble_o pray_v the_o lady_n where_o i_o be_v that_o she_o will_v allow_v i_o her_o leave_n to_o be_v go_v for_o already_o my_o ghostly_a father_n when_o he_o find_v i_o to_o be_v in_o that_o case_n will_v i_o also_o to_o begin_v my_o journey_n and_o our_o lord_n have_v also_o move_v he_o as_o well_o as_o i_o but_o the_o ladic_n have_v so_o great_a a_o sense_n of_o trouble_n for_o my_o departure_n that_o the_o same_o grow_v also_o to_o be_v another_o torment_n to_o i_o for_o she_o speak_v of_o how_o much_o trouble_v it_o have_v cost_v she_o to_o obtain_v this_o favour_n of_o leave_n at_o the_o hand_n of_o the_o provincial_n by_o mean_n of_o a_o great_a deal_n of_o importunity_n and_o real_o i_o hold_v it_o for_o a_o kind_n of_o very_o strange_a thing_n that_o she_o will_v be_v content_a to_o give_v way_n herein_o consider_v how_o very_o much_o she_o be_v trouble_v at_o it_o save_v only_o that_o i_o consider_v she_o as_o a_o very_a great_a servant_n of_o almighty_a god_n and_o so_o i_o tell_v she_o once_o that_o my_o go_n import_v his_o service_n much_o with_o many_o other_o thing_n of_o that_o kind_n and_o let_v she_o also_o know_v that_o it_o be_v possible_a that_o i_o may_v return_v to_o see_v she_o again_o she_o grow_v with_o trouble_n enough_o to_o be_v yet_o content_a at_o last_o that_o i_o shall_v go_v but_o now_o i_o for_o my_o own_o part_n have_v no_o difficulty_n at_o all_o in_o do_v it_o for_o when_o once_o i_o come_v to_o understand_v that_o the_o thing_n be_v of_o more_o perfection_n and_o that_o it_o more_o import_v the_o service_n of_o almighty_a god_n that_o i_o shall_v go_v then_o stay_v i_o do_v by_o the_o contentment_n which_o it_o give_v i_o to_o content_v he_o pass_v easy_o over_o the_o pain_n of_o leave_v that_o lady_n who_o i_o see_v so_o much_o trouble_v at_o my_o journey_n as_o many_o other_o person_n also_o be_v to_o who_o i_o be_v oblige_v there_o very_o much_o and_o especial_o to_o my_o ghostly_a father_n who_o be_v of_o the_o

honour_n which_o be_v allow_v to_o other_o i_o consider_v the_o goodness_n of_o almighty_a god_n in_o not_o permit_v the_o soul_n even_o of_o that_o man_n to_o be_v defame_v but_o that_o it_o may_v be_v conceal_v that_o he_o be_v a_o enemy_n of_o he_o for_o my_o part_n i_o be_v even_o turn_v half_a fool_n by_o what_o i_o have_v see_v yet_o during_o all_o the_o performance_n of_o the_o office_n of_o the_o dead_a there_o be_v no_o more_o devil_n to_o be_v see_v but_o when_o afterward_o they_o put_v the_o body_n into_o the_o grave_n there_o be_v such_o a_o multitude_n of_o they_o ready_a to_o receive_v the_o body_n that_o i_o be_v even_o out_o of_o myself_o with_o behold_v it_o and_o it_o be_v no_o little_a courage_n which_o i_o need_v for_o enable_v i_o to_o dissemble_v the_o see_v it_o and_o i_o consider_v how_o those_o devil_n be_v likely_a to_o treat_v that_o soul_n when_o they_o exercise_v such_o a_o absolute_a dominion_n even_o over_o that_o woeful_a body_n and_o i_o will_v to_o christ_n that_o what_o i_o see_v have_v also_o be_v see_v by_o such_o as_o be_v in_o mortal_a sin_n for_o i_o think_v it_o must_v have_v be_v of_o much_o effect_n and_o force_n towards_o a_o make_v they_o mend_v their_o life_n now_o all_o this_o oblige_v i_o to_o know_v more_o and_o more_o what_o i_o owe_v to_o almighty_a god_n and_o from_o what_o he_o have_v deliver_v my_o soul_n but_o yet_o i_o go_v on_o with_o fear_n enough_o till_o i_o have_v impart_v these_o particular_n to_o my_o ghostly_a father_n as_o conceave_a that_o perhaps_o it_o may_v have_v be_v some_o illusion_n of_o the_o devil_n whereby_o to_o defame_v that_o soul_n though_o yet_o the_o man_n have_v not_o be_v hold_v to_o be_v of_o very_o good_a life_n but_o yet_o it_o be_v very_o true_a that_o whether_o it_o be_v a_o illusion_n or_o no_o i_o be_o sure_a i_o never_o remember_v it_o but_o it_o make_v i_o afraid_a and_o now_o since_o i_o have_v begin_v to_o speak_v of_o vision_n which_o have_v relation_n to_o some_o such_o person_n as_o be_v dead_a i_o will_v also_o declare_v some_o thing_n concern_v some_o other_o kind_n of_o soul_n which_o our_o lord_n have_v be_v please_v that_o i_o shall_v see_v but_o i_o will_v speak_v only_o of_o few_o both_o to_o be_v the_o short_a and_o because_o it_o will_v not_o be_v necessary_a to_o say_v much_o in_o order_n to_o the_o receive_n of_o benefit_n thereby_o they_o tell_v i_o once_o that_o a_o certain_a man_n be_v dead_a who_o have_v be_v provincial_a of_o his_o order_n but_o when_o he_o die_v he_o be_v provincial_a of_o another_o province_n now_o i_o have_v communicate_v much_o with_o this_o man_n and_o have_v be_v oblige_v to_o he_o for_o some_o good_a office_n which_o he_o have_v do_v i_o this_o man_n be_v of_o much_o &_o many_o virtue_n but_o yet_o when_o i_o come_v to_o know_v that_o he_o be_v dead_a i_o be_v great_o trouble_v at_o it_o because_o i_o be_v in_o fear_n and_o doubt_v of_o his_o salvation_n in_o regard_n that_o he_o have_v be_v a_o prelate_n or_o superior_a twenty_o year_n which_o real_o be_v a_o thing_n that_o i_o be_o apt_a to_o fear_v as_o hold_v it_o to_o be_v a_o matter_n of_o much_o danger_n to_o have_v charge_n of_o soul_n and_o so_o i_o go_v with_o trouble_n enough_o to_o a_o oratory_n and_o give_v he_o all_o that_o little_a good_a which_o i_o have_v ever_o do_v in_o my_o whole_a life_n which_o yet_o be_v little_a enough_o and_o i_o humble_o beseech_v out_o bless_v lord_n that_o he_o will_v supply_v out_o of_o his_o infinite_a merit_n for_o as_o much_o as_o that_o soul_n may_v wot_v towards_o the_o free_n itself_o out_o of_o purgatory_n and_o whilst_o i_o be_v beg_v this_o boon_n of_o our_o bless_a lord_n in_o the_o best_a manner_n i_o can_v i_o think_v he_o rise_v as_o from_o some_o deep_a part_n out_o of_o the_o earth_n on_o my_o right_a side_n and_o so_o i_o see_v he_o mount-up_a to_o heaven_n with_o very_o great_a joy_n the_o man_n be_v very_o old_a before_o he_o die_v but_o yet_o now_o he_o seem_v to_o i_o to_o be_v but_o of_o thirty_o year_n old_a or_o rather_o somewhat_o less_o but_o with_o much_o brightness_n in_o his_o face_n this_o vision_n pass_v away_o very_o speedy_o but_o yet_o i_o be_v so_o extreme_o comfort_v by_o it_o that_o the_o death_n of_o that_o man_n do_v put_v i_o now_o to_o no_o more_o pain_n though_o i_o have_v trouble_v many_o other_o about_o he_o for_o he_o be_v very_o well_o belove_v and_o thus_o also_o the_o comfort_n of_o my_o soul_n be_v so_o great_a i_o can_v not_o possible_o doubt_v but_o that_o the_o vision_n be_v true_a and_o no_o illusion_n this_o happen_v but_o fifteen_o day_n after_o his_o death_n but_o still_o i_o be_v not_o slack_a in_o procure_v that_o he_o may_v be_v recommend_v to_o almighty_a god_n save_o that_o i_o can_v not_o do_v it_o so_o hearty_o as_o before_o i_o see_v this_o vision_n for_o when_o our_o lord_n show_v i_o such_o thing_n and_o that_o yet_o i_o will_v pray_v for_o they_o afterward_o i_o can_v choose_v but_o conceive_v that_o it_o be_v as_o if_o i_o give_v a_o alm_n to_o a_o rich_a man_n but_o now_o i_o come_v to_o understand_v afterward_o for_o the_o man_n die_v very_o far_o off_o that_o the_o death_n which_o our_o lord_n grant_v he_o be_v of_o so_o great_a comfort_n to_o he_o by_o the_o knowledge_n of_o himself_o and_o by_o the_o humility_n which_o he_o express_v that_o it_o be_v of_o very_o great_a edification_n now_o a_o certain_a religious_a woman_n die_v at_o home_n with_o we_o about_o a_o day_n and_o a_o half_a before_o that_o occur_v whereof_o i_o be_o go_v to_o speak_v but_o she_o have_v be_v a_o good_a servant_n of_o almighty_a god_n and_o another_o religious_a woman_n read_v one_o of_o those_o lesson_n which_o belong_v to_o the_o office_n of_o the_o dead_a which_o be_v recite_v in_o the_o choir_n for_o her_o soul_n it_o be_v my_o turn_n to_o stand_v by_o and_o assist_v in_o repeat_v the_o versicle_n but_o in_o the_o midst_n of_o the_o lesson_n i_o think_v i_o see_v the_o soul_n rise_v up_o as_o the_o other_o do_v and_o so_o go_v to_o heaven_n now_o this_o be_v no_o imaginary_a vision_n like_o the_o last_o but_o like_o other_o which_o i_o recount_v before_o yet_o these_o be_v no_o less_o certain_a than_o those_o other_o be_v there_o be_v also_o another_o religious_a woman_n of_o between_o eighteen_o and_o twenty_o year_n old_a who_o die_v at_o home_n in_o our_o house_n now_o she_o have_v be_v always_o sickly_a and_o a_o great_a servant_n of_o god_n and_o very_o diligent_a in_o the_o choir_n and_o in_o fine_a a_o very_a virtuous_a woman_n and_o real_o i_o be_v apt_a to_o think_v that_o she_o shall_v not_o have_v go_v to_o purgatory_n at_o all_o but_o rather_o that_o there_o will_v have_v be_v supernumerarie_a merit_n in_o regard_n of_o the_o many_o sickness_n which_o she_o have_v endure_v but_o yet_o when_o we_o be_v recite_v the_o office_n before_o she_o be_v bury_v and_o some_o four_o hour_n after_o she_o die_v i_o understand_v that_o her_o soul_n spring_v up_o out_o of_o the_o same_o place_n and_o go_v to_o heaven_n be_v one_o day_n in_o a_o college_n of_o the_o society_n of_o jesus_n with_o those_o great_a affliction_n and_o trouble_n which_o i_o have_v declare_v myself_o sometime_o to_o have_v have_v and_o still_o have_v both_o in_o body_n and_o soul_n i_o find_v myself_o to_o be_v in_o such_o condition_n that_o i_o think_v i_o be_v not_o able_a so_o much_o as_o to_o entertain_v one_o good_a thought_n there_o die_v that_o night_n a_o brother_n of_o the_o society_n of_o that_o house_n and_o i_o recommend_v he_o the_o best_a i_o can_v to_o almighty_a god_n and_o be_v at_o the_o mass_n of_o another_o father_n of_o the_o society_n for_o his_o soul_n i_o be_v seize_v by_o a_o very_a great_a recollection_n and_o i_o see_v he_o goe-up_a to_o heaven_n with_o much_o glory_n yea_o and_o i_o understand_v that_o our_o bless_a lord_n himself_o do_v accompany_v he_o by_o way_n of_o particular_a favour_n a_o religious_a man_n of_o our_o order_n who_o be_v a_o very_a good_a man_n be_v fall_v very_o dangerous_o sick_a and_o i_o be_v then_o at_o mass_n grow_v to_o be_v in_o very_o great_a recollection_n and_o see_v that_o the_o man_n be_v dead_a and_o that_o he_o go_v instant_o to_o heaven_n without_o touch_v upon_o purgatory_n at_o all_o and_o he_o die_v in_o that_o very_a hour_n as_o i_o be_v tell_v afterward_o now_o i_o wonder_v that_o he_o have_v never_o enter_v into_o purgatory_n but_o i_o understand_v that_o he_o have_v be_v a_o religious_a man_n and_o have_v well_o observe_v the_o

there_o and_o now_o by_o mean_n of_o this_o consideration_n my_o soul_n begin_v to_o be_v so_o much_o more_o inflame_v that_o my_o spirit_n grow_v to_o be_v in_o rapt_v and_o so_o as_o that_o i_o know_v not_o how_o to_o express_v it_o for_o i_o think_v i_o be_v put_v and_o plunge_v into_o that_o majesty_n which_o i_o have_v former_o understand_v but_o yet_o so_o as_o that_o i_o know_v not_o how_o to_o declare_v it_o in_o this_o majesty_n a_o certain_a truth_n be_v give_v i_o to_o be_v understand_v which_o indeed_o be_v the_o accomplishment_n of_o all_o truth_n but_o yet_o still_o i_o know_v not_o how_o to_o relate_v it_o for_o i_o see_v nothing_o at_o all_o distinct_o but_o they_o tell_v i_o these_o word_n though_o yet_o i_o see_v not_o who_o speak_v they_o only_o i_o know_v that_o it_o be_v the_o very_a truth_n this_o which_o i_o do_v for_o thou_o be_v no_o small_a matter_n but_o rather_o it_o be_v a_o thing_n for_o which_o thou_o ow_a i_o much_o because_o one_o of_o the_o mischief_n which_o grow_n to_o the_o world_n proceed_v from_o not_o know_v the_o truth_n of_o scripture_n with_o clear_a truth_n but_o one_o tittle_n thereof_o shall_v not_o fail_v now_o as_o for_o i_o i_o conceive_v that_o myself_o have_v always_o believe_v this_o yea_o and_o that_o all_o catholic_n have_v also_o believe_v it_o but_o then_o he_o say_v to_o i_o again_o alas_o my_o daughter_n there_o be_v few_o who_o love_v i_o according_a to_o truth_n for_o if_o they_o do_v i_o will_v not_o conceal_v my_o secret_n from_o they_o but_o do_v thou_o know_v what_o it_o be_v to_o love_v i_o according_a to_o truth_n it_o be_v to_o know_v that_o all_o be_v a_o lie_n which_o be_v not_o acceptable_a to_o i_o thou_o shall_v be_v able_a to_o see_v this_o clear_o which_o now_o thou_o do_v not_o understand_v by_o the_o profit_n which_o thy_o soul_n shall_v get_v and_o so_o according_o i_o have_v see_v it_o perform_v our_o lord_n be_v ever_o praise_v for_o it_o for_o all_o thing_n which_o be_v not_o address_v to_o the_o service_n of_o almighty_a god_n do_v of_o late_a seem_v to_o i_o so_o huge_o to_o be_v vanity_n and_o a_o lie_n that_o i_o be_o no_o way_n able_a to_o express_v how_o much_o i_o understand_v thereof_o and_o it_o move_v i_o to_o deep_a compassion_n to_o see_v man_n live_v in_o so_o great_a obscurity_n and_o ignorance_n as_o they_o be_v in_o of_o thy_o truth_n but_o by_o this_o mean_n i_o have_v benefit_v myself_o in_o many_o kind_n whereof_o i_o will_v here_o relate_v some_o and_o some_o i_o shall_v not_o be_v able_a to_o relate_v but_o our_o lord_n say_v one_o word_n to_o i_o here_o in_o particular_a with_o very_o great_a favour_n though_o i_o know_v not_o also_o how_o this_o be_v for_o i_o see_v nothing_o but_o i_o remain_v in_o such_o sort_n after_o it_o as_o i_o know_v not_o also_o how_o to_o declare_v even_o that_o only_o i_o be_o sure_a i_o remain_v by_o this_o mean_n with_o a_o very_a great_a kind_n of_o fortitude_n and_o firm_a purpose_n of_o accomplish_v even_o the_o least_o part_n of_o holy_a scripture_n with_o the_o uttermost_a of_o all_o my_o power_n and_o nothing_o i_o think_v can_v offer_v itself_o to_o i_o through_o which_o i_o will_v not_o pass_v for_o the_o make_v this_o good_a there_o remain_v also_o a_o truth_n of_o this_o divine_a truth_n which_o be_v now_o represent_v to_o i_o though_o yet_o still_o i_o know_v not_o how_o so_o deep_o engrave_v in_o my_o hart_n that_o it_o make_v i_o carry_v a_o new_a kind_n of_o profound_a reverence_n to_o almighty_a god_n for_o it_o impart_v a_o notice_n of_o his_o high_a majesty_n and_o great_a power_n after_o such_o a_o manner_n as_o can_v be_v describe_v but_o i_o can_v only_o understand_v that_o it_o be_v a_o mighty_a kind_n of_o thing_n i_o now_o remain_v also_o with_o a_o very_a great_a desire_n never_o to_o speak_v at_o all_o but_o of_o thing_n which_o be_v substantial_o true_a and_o which_o may_v just_o take_v precedence_n of_o all_o that_o which_o use_v to_o be_v treat_v of_o in_o this_o world_n and_o so_o i_o then_o begin_v to_o find_v it_o pain_n enough_o even_o to_o live_v in_o it_o this_o vision_n leave_v i_o with_o a_o regalo_n of_o great_a tenderness_n and_o with_o humility_n also_o it_o seem_v to_o i_o that_o our_o bless_a lord_n do_v give_v i_o to_o understand_v much_o in_o this_o vision_n though_o yet_o without_o my_o understanding_n the_o manner_n of_o it_o but_o at_o least_o i_o be_v satisfy_v well_o enough_o that_o it_o be_v no_o illusion_n i_o see_v nothing_o but_o yet_o i_o understand_v the_o great_a benefit_n which_o there_o be_v in_o not_o make_v account_n of_o any_o thing_n which_o bring_v we_o not_o near_o to_o almighty_a god_n and_o so_o i_o come_v to_o understand_v what_o kind_n of_o thing_n it_o be_v for_o a_o soul_n to_o walk_v in_o truth_n in_o the_o presence_n of_o the_o same_o truth_n that_o which_o i_o understand_v be_v that_o our_o lord_n give_v i_o to_o understand_v that_o he_o be_v very_a truth_n itself_o and_o all_o these_o thing_n at_o which_o i_o have_v now_o point_v here_o i_o understand_v sometime_o by_o their_o be_v speak_v to_o i_o and_o at_o other_o time_n without_o speech_n but_o yet_o some_o of_o this_o latter_a sort_n with_o more_o clearness_n than_o those_o other_o which_o be_v impart_v to_o i_o by_o word_n i_o understand_v very_o great_a truth_n of_o this_o truth_n and_o better_o then_o if_o many_o learned_a man_n have_v teach_v i_o and_o at_o least_o it_o seem_v to_o i_o that_o they_o can_v by_o no_o mean_n have_v so_o imprint_v they_o in_o my_o mind_n nor_o so_o clear_o have_v give_v i_o to_o understand_v the_o vanity_n of_o this_o world_n this_o truth_n which_o i_o say_v be_v give_v i_o to_o be_v understand_v be_v very_a truth_n in_o itself_o and_o it_o be_v both_o without_o beginning_n and_o without_o end_n and_o all_o other_o truth_n depend_v upon_o this_o truth_n and_o all_o other_o love_n upon_o this_o love_n and_o all_o other_o greatness_n upon_o this_o greatness_n though_o yet_o all_o this_o be_v deliver_v by_o i_o with_o much_o obscurity_n in_o comparison_n of_o that_o clearness_n wherewith_o our_o bless_a lord_n be_v please_v to_o impart_v it_o and_o how_o very_o well_o do_v this_o become_v the_o great_a power_n of_o that_o majesty_n to_o leave_v such_o thing_n as_o these_o imprint_v upon_o the_o soul_n whereby_o such_o advantage_n be_v obtain_v and_o that_o in_o so_o short_a a_o time_n o_o greatness_n and_o majesty_n of_o my_o omnipotent_a lord_n what_o be_v it_o which_o thou_o be_v do_v consider_v who_o it_o be_v to_o who_o thou_o be_v vouchsafe_v such_o sovereign_a favour_n do_v thou_o not_o remember_v how_o this_o soul_n have_v be_v a_o very_a abyss_n of_o lie_n and_o even_o a_o deep_a sea_n of_o vanity_n and_o all_o this_o through_o fault_n of_o my_o own_o for_o notwithstanding_o that_o thou_o give_v i_o a_o inclination_n which_o natural_o do_v abhor_v lie_v yet_o i_o make_v myself_o apt_a to_o treat_v in_o many_o thing_n after_o a_o deceitful_a kind_n of_o manner_n how_o be_v thou_o able_a o_o my_o god_n even_o to_o endure_v i_o and_o how_o can_v so_o great_a goodness_n of_o thou_o be_v show_v to_o one_o who_o have_v so_o ill_o deserve_v it_o and_o how_o can_v so_o much_o sin_n against_o thou_o be_v compatible_a with_o such_o favour_n as_o these_o be_v once_o recite_v the_o hour_n of_o the_o divine_a office_n with_o all_o the_o rest_n of_o the_o religious_a my_o soul_n begin_v to_o be_v sudden_o recollect_v and_o it_o seem_v to_o i_o that_o it_o be_v like_o some_o clear_a and_o pure_a lookingglass_n without_o have_v any_o thing_n either_o on_o the_o back_n or_o on_o the_o side_n or_o yet_o either_o above_o or_o below_o which_o be_v not_o all_o extreme_o clear_a and_o in_o the_o very_a centre_n thereof_o christ_n our_o lord_n be_v represent_v to_o i_o just_a so_o as_o i_o be_o accustom_v to_o see_v he_o it_o seem_v to_o i_o that_o i_o see_v he_o clear_o in_o all_o the_o part_n and_o portion_n of_o my_o soul_n as_o in_o a_o lookingglass_n and_o so_o also_o though_o i_o know_v not_o how_o our_o bless_a lord_n himself_o be_v engrave_v therein_o with_o such_o a_o certain_a kind_n of_o enamour_a communion_n or_o communication_n of_o himself_o as_o i_o can_v possible_o express_v only_o i_o know_v that_o this_o vision_n have_v be_v of_o very_o great_a benefit_n to_o i_o and_o be_v so_o whensoever_o i_o remember_v it_o and_o especial_o after_o i_o receive_v the_o b._n sacrament_n but_o it_o be_v give_v i_o hereby_o to_o understand_v that_o the_o be_v of_o a_o soul_n in_o mortal_a sin_n be_v to_o make_v this_o glass_n be_v cover_v

beseech_v your_o reverence_n my_o good_a father_n to_o beg_v of_o almighty_a god_n that_o he_o will_v either_o take_v i_o quick_o to_o himself_o or_o else_o i_o beseech_v his_o divine_a majesty_n that_o he_o give_v i_o power_n to_o serve_v he_o in_o the_o mean_a time_n i_o humble_o beseech_v almighty_a god_n that_o what_o i_o have_v write_v here_o may_v be_v of_o some_o use_n to_o your_o reverence_n and_o i_o have_v not_o do_v it_o without_o some_o trouble_n in_o regard_n of_o the_o little_a convenience_n which_o i_o have_v but_o happy_a shall_v this_o trouble_n be_v if_o i_o have_v chance_v to_o hit_v any_o thing_n right_a and_o if_o our_o bless_a lord_n may_v receive_v some_o one_o only_a act_n of_o praise_n by_o occasion_n thereof_o i_o shall_v esteem_v myself_o to_o be_v full_o pay_v though_o your_o reverence_n shall_v burn_v it_o all_o immediate_o after_o and_o yet_o i_o can_v not_o wish_v that_o this_o shall_v happen_v till_o those_o three_o person_n have_v see_v it_o of_o who_o you_o know_v since_o they_o be_v and_o have_v be_v my_o ghostly_a father_n for_o if_o the_o thing_n be_v not_o right_a it_o will_v be_v fit_a that_o they_o give-ove_a the_o good_a opinion_n which_o they_o have_v of_o i_o and_o if_o on_o the_o other_o side_n thing_n go_v well_o i_o know_v that_o they_o be_v good_a and_o learned_a man_n and_o they_o can_v not_o be_v ignorant_a from_o whence_o it_o come_v and_o they_o will_v give_v he_o glory_n and_o praise_n who_o have_v do_v it_o though_o he_o have_v serve_v himself_o of_o i_o therein_o i_o beseech_v his_o divine_a majesty_n that_o he_o will_v ever_o keep_v your_o reverence_n in_o his_o holy_a hand_n and_o make_v you_o so_o great_a a_o saint_n as_o that_o you_o may_v with_o spirit_n and_o light_n illuminate_v this_o miserable_a creature_n who_o have_v so_o little_a of_o the_o humble_a in_o she_o and_o so_o much_o of_o the_o bold_a as_o that_o she_o have_v presume_v to_o write_v of_o these_o high_a thing_n i_o beseech_v our_o lord_n that_o i_o have_v not_o err_v therein_o whilst_o my_o aim_n and_o desire_n be_v to_o hit_v right_a and_o to_o obey_v and_o that_o in_o fine_a there_o may_v be_v somewhat_o for_o which_o our_o lord_n shall_v be_v praise_v for_o this_o be_v that_o great_a suit_n which_o i_o have_v make_v to_o he_o now_o these_o many_o year_n and_o since_o i_o have_v want_v work_n whereby_o to_o comply_v with_o this_o aim_n i_o have_v adventure_v upon_o commandment_n to_o see_v if_o i_o can_v put_v this_o irregular_a and_o confuse_a life_n of_o i_o into_o some_o order_n though_o yet_o without_o employ_v either_o any_o more_o attention_n or_o time_n then_o that_o which_o be_v mere_o necessary_a for_o write_v it_o and_o so_o i_o have_v only_o set_v those_o thing_n down_o which_o have_v occur_v to_o i_o and_o pass_v in_o i_o with_o all_o plainness_n and_o truth_n to_o the_o very_a uttermost_a of_o my_o endeavour_n and_o i_o humble_o beseech_v our_o bless_a lord_n that_o since_o he_o be_v so_o powerful_a as_o that_o if_o he_o will_v he_o can_v he_o may_v be_v please_v to_o make_v i_o whole_o hit_v the_o mark_n in_o performance_n of_o his_o holy_a will_n and_o not_o permit_v that_o this_o soul_n be_v lose_v which_o his_o divine_a majesty_n have_v be_v please_v by_o so_o many_o way_n and_o even_o cunning_a industry_n of_o he_o yea_o and_o that_o so_o many_o time_n to_o deliver_v and_o bring_v out_o of_o hell_n and_o to_o draw_v up_o so_o very_o close_o to_o himself_o amen_o benedictus_fw-la deus_fw-la this_o book_n be_v finish_v the_o first_o time_n in_o june_n in_o the_o year_n of_o our_o lord_n god_n 1562._o it_o be_v write_v then_o without_o distinction_n of_o chapter_n but_o afterward_o it_o be_v write_v by_o this_o glorious_a saint_n again_o and_o then_o it_o be_v divide_v into_o chapter_n and_o many_o thing_n also_o be_v add_v by_o she_o which_o happen_v afterward_o and_o particular_o that_o which_o concern_v the_o foundation_n of_o the_o monastery_n of_o s._n joseph_n of_o auila_n a_o letter_n write_v by_o the_o glorious_a s._n teresa_n to_o her_o ghostly_a father_n who_o have_v command_v she_o to_o write_v she_o own_o life_n for_o as_o much_o as_o may_v concern_v her_o manner_n of_o prayer_n and_o the_o favour_n which_o our_o lord_n have_v show_v she_o and_o this_o letter_n do_v she_o send_v to_o he_o together_o with_o the_o book_n itself_o the_o holie-ghost_n be_v always_o with_o your_o reverence_n amen_n it_o will_v not_o be_v amiss_o even_o almost_o to_o exaggerate_v the_o service_n which_o now_o i_o be_o do_v to_o your_o reverence_n that_o so_o you_o may_v even_o hold_v yourself_o to_o be_v the_o more_o oblige_v to_o take_v very_o particular_a and_o great_a care_n to_o recommend_v i_o to_o almighty_a god_n and_o this_o i_o may_v well_o presume_v to_o do_v since_o it_o have_v cost_v i_o so_o very_o dear_a to_o see_v myself_o thus_o set_v down_o in_o writing_n and_o to_o have_v bring_v by_o occasion_n thereof_o so_o many_o of_o my_o great_a misery_n to_o my_o remembrance_n though_o yet_o withal_o i_o can_v affirine_v with_o much_o truth_n that_o i_o have_v have_v far_o more_o aversion_n and_o trouble_v upon_o my_o declare_v the_o favour_n which_o it_o please_v our_o bless_a lord_n to_o do_v i_o than_o it_o will_v have_v be_v for_o i_o to_o discover_v even_o the_o offence_n themselves_o which_o i_o have_v commit_v against_o his_o divine_a majesty_n but_o in_o the_o mean_a time_n i_o have_v do_v what_o your_o reverence_n have_v command_v in_o order_n to_o the_o enlarge_n myself_o in_o this_o discourse_n though_o yet_o withal_o it_o be_v upon_o condition_n that_o your_o reverence_n will_v also_o do_v what_o you_o promise_v in_o tear_v whatsoever_o you_o shall_v not_o like_v i_o have_v not_o finish_v so_o much_o as_o the_o very_o read_v it_o over_o after_o i_o have_v write_v it_o even_o now_o when_o your_o reverence_n send_v to_o i_o for_o it_o and_o therefore_o it_o may_v very_o well_o chance_v that_o some_o thing_n be_v ill_o declare_v and_o other_o very_o unnecessary_o repeat_v for_o the_o time_n wherein_o i_o be_v able_a to_o do_v it_o do_v prove_v so_o very_o straight_o and_o short_a that_o i_o can_v not_o so_o much_o as_o look_v over_o what_o i_o have_v write_v i_o beseech_v your_o reverence_n to_o reform_v my_o error_n herein_o and_o to_o command_v it_o to_o be_v copy_v out_o and_o send_v to_o father_n auila_n for_o else_o perhaps_o the_o hand_n may_v be_v know_v to_o other_o but_o i_o desire_v very_o much_o that_o such_o order_n may_v be_v take_v as_o that_o he_o may_v see_v it_o since_o i_o partly_o begin_v to_o write_v it_o upon_o that_o design_n for_o when_o he_o shall_v once_o conceive_v that_o i_o go_v in_o a_o way_n which_o be_v right_a i_o shall_v be_v very_o much_o comfort_v by_o it_o and_o so_o when_o i_o shall_v have_v use_v this_o diligence_n there_o will_v be_v on_o my_o part_n no_o more_o to_o be_v do_v i_o humble_o pray_v your_o reverence_n to_o do_v in_o all_o thing_n as_o you_o shall_v think_v fit_a and_o consider_v that_o you_o be_v even_o oblige_v therein_o for_o such_o a_o one_o as_o trust_v her_o soul_n in_o your_o hand_n after_o so_o confident_a a_o manner_n as_o for_o you_o i_o will_v be_v recommend_v it_o to_o our_o bless_a lord_n all_o the_o day_n of_o my_o life_n and_o i_o beseech_v you_o therefore_o make_v great_a haste_n to_o serve_v his_o divine_a majesty_n to_o the_o end_n that_o you_o may_v be_v the_o better_a able_a to_o do_v i_o also_o favour_n with_o he_o since_o your_o reverence_n will_v easy_o see_v by_o that_o which_o go_v in_o company_n of_o this_o how_o well_o all_o your_o endeavour_n will_v be_v employ_v in_o go_v on_o as_o you_o have_v already_o begin_v and_o in_o bestow_v yourself_o total_o upon_o he_o who_o have_v give_v himself_o so_o whole_o to_o we_o without_o any_o limit_n at_o all_o let_v he_o be_v bless_v and_o praise_v for_o ever_o and_o for_o my_o part_n i_o hope_v through_o his_o mercy_n that_o both_o your_o reverence_n and_o myself_o shall_v one_o day_n grow_v to_o understand_v more_o clear_o the_o great_a blessing_n which_o he_o have_v be_v please_v to_o show_v we_o both_o that_o so_o we_o may_v be_v able_a to_o praise_v he_o for_o all_o eternity_n amen_n a_o table_n of_o the_o chapter_n 1._o chap._n the_o saint_n show_v how_o our_o lord_n begin_v to_o stirr-up_a her_o soul_n in_o her_o childhood_n to_o the_o performe_a of_o virtuous_a action_n and_o of_o the_o help_n which_o it_o give_v in_o order_n to_o this_o end_n to_o be_v bear_v of_o virtuous_a parent_n 2._o chap._n she_o show_v how_o she_o go_v loose_v in_o the_o way_n of_o virtue_n and_o how_o very_o much_o it_o