be_v rend_v and_o tear_v i_o in_o my_o estate_n curse_v and_o blast_v all_o i_o have_v put_v my_o hand_n to_o and_o prosper_v i_o in_o nothing_o and_o in_o much_o horror_n clap_v his_o hand_n to_o his_o heart_n say_v here_o it_o be_v and_o i_o shall_v die_v mr._n c._n i_o be_o inform_v your_o trouble_n arise_v from_o the_o publish_n a_o book_n entitle_v the_o second_o argument_n for_o a_o more_o firm_a union_n among_o protestant_n what_o part_n of_o that_o book_n trouble_v you_o most_o mr._n child_n take_v up_o the_o book_n in_o his_o hand_n begin_v to_o read_v where_o he_o say_v the_o great_a number_n of_o dissenter_n do_v hold_v principle_n dangerous_o heretical_a and_o most_o abominable_o abuse_v the_o most_o holy_a and_o bless_a god_n etc._n etc._n but_o before_o he_o can_v end_v that_o paragraph_n be_v under_o extreme_a agony_n of_o mind_n and_o weep_v bitter_o put_v the_o book_n from_o he_o and_o speak_v to_o this_o effect_n viz._n i_o have_v represent_v those_o of_o calvin_n principle_n beyond_o whatever_o they_o conceive_v strain_a their_o opinion_n beyond_o their_o intention_n and_o draw_v such_o consequence_n as_o never_o be_v in_o their_o mind_n and_o strike_v his_o breast_n with_o much_o anguish_n say_v these_o word_n lie_v close_o i_o shall_v never_o get_v over_o this_o i_o write_v in_o prejudice_n against_o they_o call_v they_o a_o villainous_a body_n of_o people_n which_o be_v unjust_a mr._n c._n say_v be_v you_o not_o hearty_o sorrowful_a for_o write_v this_o mr._n child_n oh_o that_o i_o can_v repent_v i_o can_v repent_v mr._n c._n if_o it_o be_v now_o to_o do_v will_v you_o do_v it_o again_o the_o best_a part_n of_o repentance_n be_v to_o turn_v from_o evil_n mr._n child_n i_o know_v there_o be_v in_o repentance_n three_o thing_n confession_n contrition_n and_o restitution_n mr._n c._n we_o be_v not_o capable_a of_o make_v god_n restitution_n he_o pardon_v and_o justify_v for_o his_o own_o name_n be_v sake_n and_o christ_n sake_n but_o restitution_n be_v to_o be_v make_v to_o our_o neighbour_n and_o if_o you_o be_v sensible_a god_n have_v be_v dishonour_v and_o his_o people_n wrong_v in_o that_o book_n your_o next_o work_n be_v to_o make_v restitution_n in_o like_a manner_n by_o a_o 〈…〉_o mr._n child_n this_o be_v the_o opinion_n of_o some_o other_o also_o and_o i_o think_v it_o ought_v to_o be_v do_v and_o walk_v about_o the_o room_n with_o great_a horror_n of_o soul_n say_v i_o have_v be_v guilty_a of_o many_o evil_n i_o have_v for_o several_a year_n live_v a_o very_a ungodly_a life_n neglect_a family-duty_n closet-duty_n publick-duty_n in_o the_o church_n of_o god_n i_o have_v be_v great_o guilty_a of_o pride_n endeavour_v to_o run_v every_o man_n down_o in_o dispute_n i_o have_v make_v this_o world_n my_o god_n and_o be_v guilty_a of_o that_o idolatry_n eph._n 5._o i_o have_v not_o be_v a_o little_a guilty_a of_o hypocrisy_n i_o have_v endeavour_v by_o all_o way_n and_o mean_n to_o shake_v the_o cross_n of_o christ_n from_o off_o my_o shoulder_n and_o i_o fear_v i_o have_v be_v guilty_a of_o blasphemy_n i_o have_v wrong_v many_o a_o poor_a soul_n by_o writing_n as_o i_o have_v do_v i_o have_v wish_v myself_o in_o their_o condition_n and_o will_v have_v give_v many_o thousand_o of_o pound_n have_v i_o have_v it_o to_o have_v be_v in_o as_o good_a a_o condition_n as_o some_o of_o they_o i_o write_v against_o i_o have_v discourse_v you_o and_o mr._n b._n and_o j._n and_o have_v think_v to_o run_v down_o your_o opinion_n by_o a_o spirit_n of_o insolency_n and_o pride_n but_o the_o judgement_n of_o god_n have_v follow_v i_o he_o have_v rend_v and_o tear_v i_o for_o these_o thing_n and_o now_o i_o shall_v die_v i_o be_o strike_v with_o death_n mr._n c._n suppose_v you_o shall_v die_v to_o night_n as_o we_o know_v not_o how_o it_o may_v be_v with_o any_o of_o we_o can_v you_o content_o sink_v into_o the_o abyss_n of_o misery_n without_o strive_v for_o salvation_n will_v you_o not_o run_v to_o christ_n strive_v to_o take_v hold_n of_o he_o and_o his_o purchase_a blessedness_n mr._n child_n with_o a_o very_a grim_a countenance_n say_v i_o shall_v go_v to_o hell_n i_o be_o break_v in_o judgement_n when_o i_o think_v to_o pray_v either_o i_o have_v a_o flush_n in_o my_o face_n as_o if_o i_o be_v in_o a_o flame_n or_o i_o be_o dumb_a and_o can_v speak_v or_o else_o i_o fall_v asleep_a upon_o my_o knee_n all_o the_o sign_n of_o one_o who_o god_n have_v leave_v forsake_v and_o harden_v mr._n c._n if_o god_n shall_v impute_v to_o you_o the_o righteousness_n of_o christ_n will_v it_o be_v of_o any_o advantage_n to_o you_o mr._n child_n if_o god_n will_v be_v so_o gracious_a as_o to_o impute_v christ_n righteousness_n to_o i_o it_o will_v make_v i_o a_o happy_a man_n mr._n c._n do_v you_o do_v what_o you_o do_v in_o write_v that_o book_n against_o the_o light_n of_o your_o conscience_n or_o motion_n of_o the_o spirit_n mr._n child_n i_o think_v i_o do_v not_o formal_o sin_n against_o the_o light_n of_o my_o conscience_n and_o spirit_n of_o god_n yet_o what_o i_o do_v be_v mix_v with_o malice_n with_o this_o cheat_n in_o my_o heart_n it_o may_v be_v it_o may_v do_v they_o good_a the_o night_n before_o the_o book_n be_v publish_v i_o have_v some_o reluctancy_n and_o gripe_n of_o conscience_n mr._n c._n why_o do_v you_o not_o call_v they_o in_o before_o they_o be_v publish_v mr._n child_n i_o fall_v ill_o upon_o it_o and_o find_v myself_o more_o and_o more_o entangle_v and_o ensnare_v one_o door_n be_v open_v and_o another_o door_n be_v open_v to_o my_o ruin_n as_o if_o i_o be_v a_o man_n design_v for_o damnation_n after_o some_o reason_n about_o baptism_n conformity_n and_o the_o trouble_n which_o nonconformist_n be_v under_o he_o say_v i_o have_v abundance_n of_o carnal_a fleshly_a reason_n i_o be_o under_o the_o power_n of_o unbelief_n and_o distrust_n for_o these_o be_v my_o arguing_n in_o i_o shall_v i_o stick_v to_o the_o church_n of_o england_n than_o those_o i_o have_v write_v against_o will_v account_v i_o the_o great_a hypocrite_n in_o the_o world_n to_o make_v so_o much_o ado_n about_o despair_n for_o what_o i_o have_v do_v against_o they_o shall_v i_o leave_v the_o church_n of_o england_n and_o stick_v to_o the_o dissenter_n and_o with_o full_a purpose_n of_o heart_n cleave_v to_o the_o lord_n then_o if_o ever_o i_o be_o take_v in_o a_o meeting_n they_o will_v have_v no_o mercy_n on_o i_o and_o triumph_n this_o be_v the_o man_n who_o make_v his_o recantation_n and_o then_o ruin_v i_o to_o all_o intent_n and_o purpose_n and_o i_o can_v bear_v the_o thought_n of_o a_o cross_n nor_o a_o prison_n mr._n c._n two_o thing_n be_v essential_o necessary_a to_o the_o peace_n of_o your_o soul_n with_o all_o speed_n to_o publish_v your_o recantation_n and_o set_v yourself_o to_o know_v the_o truth_n of_o god_n and_o cleave_v to_o it_o mr._n child_n what_o a_o astonish_a consideration_n be_v it_o for_o a_o man_n to_o die_v in_o this_o condition_n i_o be_o in_o to_o be_v under_o horror_n for_o write_v such_o thing_n and_o yet_o have_v no_o power_n to_o renounce_v it_o for_o shall_v i_o do_v so_o i_o shall_v be_v quick_o ruin_v in_o my_o estate_n i_o have_v a_o fancy_n the_o other_o morning_n that_o the_o sheriff_n and_o their_o officer_n be_v come_v to_o seize_v all_o that_o i_o have_v and_o about_o a_o week_n since_o i_o have_v that_o word_n can_v thy_o heart_n endure_v or_o thy_o hand_n be_v strong_a in_o the_o day_n i_o will_v contend_v with_o thou_o i_o think_v i_o be_o now_o able_a to_o satisfy_v any_o atheist_n in_o the_o world_n that_o there_o be_v a_o god_n for_o i_o find_v the_o arrow_n of_o the_o almighty_a stick_v in_o i_o and_o he_o run_v upon_o i_o as_o a_o lyon_n i_o think_v that_o i_o can_v go_v and_o fall_v at_o the_o foot_n of_o those_o i_o have_v wrong_v and_o beg_v their_o forgiveness_n and_o wish_v often_o oh_o that_o i_o can_v repent_v o_o that_o god_n will_v wash_v i_o in_o the_o fountain_n of_o his_o son_n blood_n o_o that_o i_o have_v faith_n that_o i_o can_v believe_v mr._n h._n c._n take_v leave_n of_o mr._n child_n can_v you_o not_o desire_v my_o prayer_n mr._n child_n this_o be_v a_o hard_a question_n and_o after_o a_o little_a pause_n take_v mr._n c._n by_o the_o hand_n say_v for_o the_o sake_n of_o the_o lord_n jesus_n christ_n pray_v for_o i_o at_o night_n if_o there_o be_v any_o mercy_n yet_o leave_v that_o i_o may_v yet_o lie_v in_o the_o way_n of_o mercy_n mr._n c._n find_v the_o trouble_v of_o mr._n child_n still_o continue_v and_o increase_v 21.84_o â—g_z 21.84_o what_o do_v
the_o english_a spira_n be_v a_o fearful_a example_n of_o a_o apostate_n who_o have_v be_v a_o preacher_n many_o year_n and_o then_o apostatise_v from_o his_o religion_n miserable_o hang_v himself_o october_n the_o 13_o 1684._o give_v a_o account_n of_o his_o dispair_n and_o divers_a conference_n have_v with_o he_o by_o several_a minister_n and_o other_o of_o his_o friend_n together_o with_o his_o answer_n and_o paper_n write_v by_o his_o own_o hand_n leave_v attest_v by_o mr._n t._n plant_v mr._n h._n collings_n mr._n b._n dennis_n mr._n b._n keach_n second_o edition_n to_o the_o reader_n that_o which_o have_v prevail_v with_o we_o to_o publish_v this_o treatise_n be_v that_o we_o may_v give_v those_o many_o who_o have_v desire_v it_o and_o all_o that_o shall_v vouchsafe_v to_o read_v it_o a_o impartial_a account_n of_o what_o have_v come_v to_o our_o knowledge_n concern_v the_o dreadful_a horror_n of_o conscience_n and_o deplorable_a end_n of_o mr._n john_n child_n in_o his_o youthful_a day_n a_o zealous_a professor_n of_o religion_n in_o his_o riper_n year_n a_o backslider_n from_o god_n under_o pretence_n of_o change_n of_o his_o opinion_n a_o neglecter_n of_o public_a worship_n not_o only_o in_o the_o way_n he_o have_v former_o profess_v but_o in_o that_o also_o which_o of_o late_a year_n in_o his_o discourse_n and_o argument_n he_o prefer_v before_o the_o other_o under_o the_o specious_a show_n of_o promote_a a_o more_o full_a and_o firm_a union_n among_o all_o good_a protestant_n asleep_o great_a calumniator_n of_o his_o brethren_n public_o charge_v many_o of_o they_o in_o general_a as_o guilty_a of_o such_o crime_n and_o blasphemy_n as_o his_o own_o knowledge_n and_o dictate_v of_o conscience_n at_o the_o season_n when_o he_o do_v it_o can_v and_o do_v testify_v they_o be_v clear_a of_o what_o prompt_v he_o hereunto_o beside_o the_o hypocrisy_n pride_n and_o malice_n of_o his_o own_o heart_n we_o certain_o know_v not_o but_o have_v some_o ground_n to_o suspect_v when_o he_o be_v about_o this_o evil_a work_n which_o cause_v his_o downfall_n he_o converse_v with_o some_o person_n who_o rather_o promote_v than_o caution_v he_o against_o it_o under_o his_o temptation_n we_o fear_v he_o do_v not_o consider_v that_o anciently-approved_n useful_a and_o necessary_a caution_n which_o the_o apostle_n mention_n be_v not_o deceive_v evil_a communication_n corrupt_v good_a manner_n after_o he_o be_v once_o thorough_o awaken_v with_o the_o sense_n of_o his_o sin_n he_o fall_v under_o those_o horror_n of_o conscience_n which_o have_v not_o be_v parallel_v in_o any_o other_o that_o we_o have_v hear_v of_o since_o the_o case_n of_o francis_n spira_n be_v so_o dreadful_a permanent_a and_o prevalent_a over_o he_o as_o to_o resist_v all_o friendly_a endeavour_n use_v to_o appease_v his_o grief_n which_o after_o several_a month_n abide_v in_o the_o high_a extremity_n at_o length_n tempt_v and_o prevail_v with_o he_o by_o his_o own_o hand_n to_o end_v his_o miserable_a life_n upon_o this_o occasion_n we_o have_v also_o give_v some_o brief_a hint_n of_o the_o nature_n and_o office_n of_o conscience_n and_o the_o obligation_n we_o be_v under_o to_o it_o all_o which_o we_o recommend_v to_o the_o reader_n serious_a consideration_n with_o our_o fervent_a prayer_n to_o god_n that_o what_o we_o have_v herein_o do_v may_v succeed_v to_o his_o and_o our_o own_o soul_n advantage_n and_o peace_n of_o conscience_n both_o here_o and_o hereafter_o it_o may_v be_v in_o many_o respect_v useful_a to_o take_v notice_n that_o the_o pamphlet_n which_o be_v write_v and_o publish_v by_o mr._n john_n child_n and_o which_o with_o respect_n to_o the_o bitter_a reflection_n and_o calumny_n therein_o cast_v upon_o his_o brethren_n do_v afterward_o fill_v he_o with_o so_o great_a horror_n of_o soul_n as_o to_o destroy_v himself_o bear_v the_o title_n of_o as_o charitable_a a_o argument_n as_o can_v be_v undertake_v by_o the_o best_a of_o christian_n for_o a_o more_o full_a and_o firm_a union_n among_o all_o good_a protestant_n but_o though_o in_o this_o title_n his_o word_n be_v as_o the_o psalmist_n speak_v soft_a than_o oil_n 55.21_o 〈◊〉_d 55.21_o yet_o be_v they_o draw_v sword_n he_o put_v forth_o his_o hand_n against_o such_o as_o be_v at_o peace_n with_o he_o his_o equal_n his_o acquaintance_n who_o have_v walk_v with_o he_o to_o the_o house_n of_o god_n in_o company_n the_o sense_n whereof_o when_o he_o be_v awaken_v to_o see_v and_o feel_v in_o his_o own_o conscience_n the_o heinousness_n of_o his_o crime_n in_o slander_v his_o brethren_n do_v so_o terrify_v he_o that_o it_o can_v not_o be_v discern_v either_o by_o his_o relation_n or_o any_o of_o those_o many_o of_o his_o brethren_n who_o he_o have_v offend_v who_o come_v to_o visit_v he_o and_o endeavour_v to_o pour_v balm_n into_o bound_v up_o and_o heal_v his_o deep_a wound_n that_o at_o any_o time_n afterward_o he_o enjoy_v any_o peace_n in_o his_o soul_n the_o principal_a inducement_n to_o publish_v a_o narrative_a of_o this_o man_n trouble_v of_o spirit_n and_o miserable_a end_n be_v to_o give_v a_o impartial_a account_n to_o many_o who_o desire_v to_o be_v true_o inform_v thereof_o what_o conference_n be_v have_v with_o he_o what_o paper_n on_o this_o subject_n be_v leave_v behind_o he_o and_o that_o the_o whole_a may_v be_v a_o seasonable_a caution_n to_o all_o who_o read_v they_o to_o take_v heed_n how_o they_o do_v in_o any_o case_n whatsoever_o presume_v to_o sin_n against_o the_o clear_a light_n knowledge_n and_o dictate_v of_o their_o own_o conscience_n for_o which_o end_n it_o be_v intend_v to_o say_v something_o brief_o concern_v the_o nature_n and_o office_n of_o conscience_n and_o that_o attendance_n which_o every_o man_n be_v to_o give_v to_o it_o but_o for_o the_o avoid_n of_o all_o sinister_a reflection_n on_o what_o be_v herein_o undertake_v the_o publisher_n hereof_o do_v declare_v first_o that_o they_o do_v not_o ascribe_v this_o man_n miserable_a end_n to_o any_o conscientious_a change_n of_o opinion_n in_o matter_n of_o religion_n or_o worship_n or_o to_o any_o endeavour_n of_o he_o to_o propagate_v union_n among_o christian_n in_o a_o candid_a way_n by_o proper_a argument_n but_o they_o lie_v the_o stress_n of_o his_o miscarriage_n where_o he_o fix_v it_o himself_o that_o be_v upon_o his_o backslide_n from_o the_o way_n of_o god_n forsake_v that_o which_o be_v good_a do_v that_o which_o he_o know_v to_o be_v evil_a and_o upon_o his_o hypocrisy_n pride_n of_o spirit_n covetousness_n and_o his_o unjustifiable_a calumniate_a reproach_v revile_v and_o accuse_v many_o of_o his_o brethren_n of_o such_o thing_n as_o he_o know_v they_o be_v not_o guilty_a all_o which_o he_o acknowledge_v in_o his_o own_o paper_n and_o frequent_o charge_v himself_o with_o second_o we_o be_v so_o far_o from_o censure_v any_o attempt_n that_o have_v be_v make_v in_o a_o christian_a manner_n for_o a_o more_o full_a and_o firm_a union_n among_o all_o good_a protestant_n that_o we_o hearty_o wish_v we_o can_v see_v more_o heart_n and_o such_o hand_n as_o be_v fit_o qualify_v for_o it_o at_o work_n on_o this_o subject_a for_o bless_a be_v the_o peacemaker_n and_o the_o fruit_n of_o righteousness_n be_v sow_o in_o peace_n of_o they_o that_o make_v peace_n three_o to_o show_v our_o good_a will_n to_o such_o a_o undertake_n we_o shall_v upon_o this_o occasion_n after_o we_o have_v make_v some_o brief_a reflection_n on_o the_o nature_n and_o office_n of_o conscience_n and_o finish_v the_o narrative_a of_o this_o man_n trouble_n assume_v the_o argument_n and_o according_a to_o that_o measure_n of_o faith_n and_o knowledge_n which_o god_n have_v give_v we_o speak_v the_o truth_n in_o love_n in_o order_n to_o the_o obtain_n if_o it_o may_v be_v upon_o a_o right_a foundation_n a_o better_a understanding_n and_o from_o thence_o a_o more_o full_a and_o firm_a union_n among_o all_o who_o love_v the_o lord_n jesus_n in_o sincerity_n remark_n upon_o the_o nature_n and_o office_n of_o conscience_n here_o we_o have_v a_o recent_a and_o pregnant_a instance_n of_o the_o powerful_a and_o perpetual_a prosecution_n of_o a_o offend_a and_o a_o awaken_v conscience_n 119_o jer._n 2d_o 2_o 3._o ps_n 119_o the_o horror_n whereof_o be_v so_o dreadful_a and_o unapeasable_a that_o all_o attempt_n either_o to_o divert_v the_o thought_n to_o other_o subject_n or_o apply_v the_o mind_n to_o the_o receive_n or_o use_v of_o mitigate_a or_o heal_a remedy_n be_v altogether_o ineffectual_a herein_o we_o may_v also_o perceive_v how_o the_o terror_n of_o such_o a_o mind_n be_v aggravate_v beyond_o the_o rate_n of_o natural_a impression_n proportional_a to_o the_o help_n which_o natural_a light_n receive_v by_o education_n 27_o heb._n â—â—_o 26_o 27_o conversation_n and_o acquaintance_n with_o divine_a revelation_n the_o philosopher_n who_o we_o esteem_v
till_o about_o july_n last_o about_o august_n last_o i_o give_v he_o another_o visit_n and_o then_o find_v he_o though_o natural_o of_o a_o strong_a constitution_n and_o lively_a spirit_n so_o exceed_o shake_v that_o the_o horror_n of_o the_o sight_n make_v such_o deep_a impression_n as_o i_o think_v will_n at_o season_n recur_v and_o set_v itself_o before_o i_o afresh_o as_o long_o as_o i_o live_v his_o speech_n be_v very_o regular_a which_o discover_v his_o memory_n to_o be_v good_a and_o that_o his_o distemper_n have_v not_o seize_v his_o head_n but_o his_o heart_n he_o free_o discourse_v the_o grief_n of_o â—is_n mind_n express_v and_o set_v forth_o his_o condition_n to_o be_v most_o deplorable_a as_o have_v no_o hope_n of_o salvation_n i_o lay_v before_o he_o with_o the_o great_a tenderness_n the_o freeness_n and_o riches_n of_o god_n grace_n choose_v to_o argue_v from_o his_o own_o former_a declare_v opinion_n against_o limit_v of_o it_o but_o can_v fasten_v no_o word_n of_o 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you_o think_v will_v give_v you_o relief_n mr._n child_n if_o i_o be_v in_o heaven_n it_o can_v not_o relieve_v i_o for_o there_o i_o shall_v behold_v the_o face_n of_o a_o holy_a god_n holy_a saint_n and_o angel_n as_o now_o i_o behold_v the_o face_n of_o good_a man_n upon_o earth_n with_o shame_n and_o confusion_n of_o face_n mr._n c._n if_o god_n will_v take_v you_o into_o his_o favour_n that_o will_v relieve_v you_o mr._n child_n his_o wrath_n be_v come_v upon_o i_o to_o the_o uttermost_a mr._n c._n to_o despair_v reflect_v upon_o the_o sovereignty_n of_o god_n grace_n mr._n child_n for_o those_o who_o day_n of_o grace_n be_v not_o go_v god_n will_v multiply_v to_o pardon_v but_o it_o be_v too_o late_o for_o i_o my_o day_n be_v go_v mr._n c._n do_v not_o you_o write_v a_o book_n before_o the_o second_o argument_n 1684._o aug._n 3â—_n 1684._o mr._n child_n i_o do_v mr._n c._n do_v not_o a_o gentleman_n write_v some_o animadversion_n upon_o it_o by_o way_n of_o answer_n in_o a_o 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