who_o we_o know_v we_o be_v belove_v and_o as_o for_o you_o if_o you_o love_v he_o not_o yet_o for_o to_o the_o end_n that_o it_o may_v be_v a_o true_a love_n and_o that_o your_o friendship_n may_v last_v the_o condition_n must_v be_v reciprocal_a and_o we_o know_v there_o can_v be_v no_o want_n on_o our_o lord_n behalf_n and_o that_o our_o nature_n be_v vicious_a sensual_a and_o ungrateful_a and_o so_o we_o can_v perhaps_o obtain_v full_o at_o our_o own_o hand_n to_o love_v he_o so_o much_o because_o he_o be_v not_o of_o the_o same_o condition_n with_o we_o yet_o consider_v how_o much_o it_o import_v we_o to_o hold_v friendship_n with_o he_o and_o how_o much_o he_o love_v we_o we_o must_v pass_v on_o and_o pass_v over_o this_o pain_n of_o be_v much_o in_o his_o company_n who_o be_v of_o so_o different_a a_o condition_n from_o we_o o_o infinite_a goodness_n of_o my_o god_n how_o true_a it_o be_v that_o i_o think_v i_o see_v both_o thou_o and_o myself_o in_o this_o very_a manner_n o_o thou_o who_o be_v the_o very_a regalo_n of_o the_o angel_n in_o heaven_n how_o fain_o will_v i_o even_o defeat_v and_o dissolve_v myself_o total_o in_o love_v thou_o when_o i_o see_v and_o consider_v these_o thing_n and_o how_o certain_a a_o thing_n it_o be_v that_o thou_o be_v on_o the_o suffer_a hand_n in_o regard_n of_o such_o as_o will_v not_o suffer_v thou_o to_o remain_v with_o they_o o_o how_o good_a a_o friend_n do_v thou_o make_v thyself_o to_o thy_o friend_n o_o my_o lord_n and_o how_o do_v thou_o go_v endure_v he_o and_o regal_v he_o and_o thou_o expect_v till_o he_o make_v himself_o grow_v to_o be_v of_o thy_o condition_n and_o inclination_n and_o in_o the_o mean_a time_n thou_o endure_v and_o permit_v he_o to_o continue_v to_o be_v a_o while_n of_o his_o own_o and_o thou_o take_v o_o my_o dear_a lord_n by_o way_n of_o good_a payment_n those_o fit_n of_o time_n which_o he_o can_v be_v content_a to_o bestow_v upon_o thou_o and_o upon_o a_o minute_n of_o true_a sorrow_n and_o repentance_n thou_o forget_v all_o those_o sin_n whereby_o he_o have_v offend_v thou_o all_o this_o have_v i_o perceive_v clear_o in_o order_n to_o myself_o and_o for_o my_o part_n i_o can_v see_v o_o my_o creator_n how_o the_o whole_a world_n can_v forbear_v to_o procure_v to_o draw_v near_o to_o thy_o divine_a majesty_n that_o so_o it_o may_v be_v able_a to_o obtain_v this_o particular_a kind_n of_o friendship_n with_o thou_o such_o as_o be_v wicked_a and_o be_v not_o hitherto_o come_v to_o have_v the_o like_a inclination_n and_o disposition_n to_o thou_o shall_v yet_o come_v towards_o thou_o to_o the_o end_n that_o so_o thou_o may_v make_v they_o good_a and_o that_o they_o may_v endure_v thou_o to_o be_v with_o they_o though_o it_o be_v but_o for_o some_o two_o hour_n in_o the_o day_n yea_o even_o though_o they_o will_v not_o the_o while_n stay_v in_o thy_o company_n without_o a_o thousand_o distraction_n and_o tumbling_n up_o and_o down_o in_o wordly_a care_n and_o thought_n as_o i_o be_v wont_a to_o do_v and_o for_o recompense_n of_o this_o violence_n which_o they_o use_v to_o make_v against_o themselves_o by_o continue_v in_o so_o good_a company_n as_o thou_o for_o neither_o in_o those_o very_a beginning_n no_o nor_o even_o afterward_o also_o for_o a_o while_n can_v they_o tell_v how_o to_o do_v better_o thou_o force_v o_o lord_n the_o devil_n of_o hell_n to_o forbear_v a_o set_v fierce_o upon_o they_o and_o permit_v they_o to_o have_v daily_o less_o power_n than_o other_o against_o they_o yea_o and_o thou_o put_v they_o into_o man_n hand_n that_o they_o may_v overcome_v they_o so_o that_o thou_o o_o thou_o life_n of_o all_o life_n do_v never_o kill_v any_o one_o of_o those_o creature_n who_o put_v his_o confidence_n in_o thou_o nor_o of_o they_o who_o desire_v thou_o for_o a_o friend_n but_o thou_o sustain_v both_o the_o life_n of_o their_o body_n with_o increase_n of_o health_n and_o thou_o also_o do_v impart_v it_o to_o the_o soul_n for_o my_o part_n i_o can_v possible_o understand_v why_o man_n shall_v fear_v as_o they_o do_v to_o begin_v to_o use_v mental_a prayer_n nor_o of_o what_o it_o be_v in_o fine_a that_o they_o be_v afraid_a the_o devil_n indeed_o do_v not_o ill_a in_o order_n to_o his_o own_o wicked_a end_n to_o procure_v to_o do_v i_o hurt_v if_o by_o pretence_n and_o mean_n of_o i_o know_v not_o what_o fear_n he_o can_v procure_v to_o make_v i_o forbear_v a_o consider_v how_o much_o and_o how_o high_o i_o have_v offend_v almighty_a god_n and_o how_o much_o i_o be_o oblige_v to_o he_o for_o his_o great_a mercy_n and_o benefit_n and_o to_o think_v upon_o this_o truth_n that_o there_o be_v such_o a_o thing_n as_o glory_v in_o heaven_n and_o torment_n in_o hell_n and_o upon_o those_o great_a affliction_n and_o sorrow_n which_o our_o lord_n endure_v for_o i_o in_o this_o life_n for_o this_o be_v still_o my_o prayer_n when_o i_o be_v continue_v in_o all_o those_o danger_n and_o upon_o this_o do_v i_o think_v whensoever_o i_o be_v able_a and_o very_o often_o yea_o and_o for_o some_o year_n together_o i_o be_v busy_a about_o desire_v that_o the_o hour_n may_v come_v quick_o to_o a_o end_n still_o listen_v when_o the_o clock_n will_v strike_v then_o upon_o better_a thing_n yea_o and_o it_o happen_v to_o i_o many_o time_n that_o i_o know_v not_o what_o penance_n can_v be_v set_v before_o i_o so_o very_o great_a as_o that_o i_o will_v not_o more_o willing_o undergo_v it_o then_o recollect_v myself_o to_o mental_a prayer_n and_o it_o be_v certain_a that_o either_o the_o devil_n do_v set_v upon_o i_o with_o such_o a_o un-resistable_a force_n or_o else_o my_o own_o wicked_a custom_n do_v it_o that_o i_o may_v not_o go_v make_v mental_a prayer_n and_o the_o sadness_n of_o my_o hart_n be_v such_o even_o when_o i_o enter_v into_o my_o oratory_n for_o that_o purpose_n that_o i_o be_v fain_o to_o help_v and_o serve_v myself_o of_o all_o the_o strength_n and_o courage_n i_o have_v which_o they_o say_v be_v not_o very_o little_a and_o it_o have_v be_v see_v that_o god_n have_v give_v i_o more_o then_o be_v usual_o possess_v by_o woman_n but_o that_o i_o have_v employ_v it_o ill_o to_o force_v myself_o to_o make_v my_o prayer_n and_o in_o fine_a it_o please_v our_o lord_n to_o assist_v i_o but_o afterward_o when_o i_o have_v use_v these_o violence_n to_o my_o hart_n i_o find_v myself_o with_o more_o quiet_a &_o delight_n so_o that_o sometime_o i_o grow_v to_o have_v a_o express_a desire_n to_o pray_v now_o therefore_o since_o it_o chance_v that_o our_o lord_n do_v suffer_v and_o endure_v so_o wicked_a a_o creature_n as_o myself_o and_o if_o it_o appear_v plain_o that_o all_o my_o misery_n be_v redress_v by_o this_o mean_n what_o person_n how_o wicked_a soever_o he_o may_v be_v can_v find_v any_o thing_n to_o be_v afraid_a of_o here_o for_o how_o wicked_a soever_o any_o other_o body_n may_v have_v be_v he_o will_v never_o be_v so_o yet_o after_o the_o enjoy_n of_o so_o great_a favour_n from_o our_o b._n lord_n as_o i_o have_v receive_v and_o who_o can_v ever_o come_v to_o disconfide_a in_o his_o divine_a majesty_n who_o have_v patience_n with_o i_o so_o long_o upon_o this_o only_o reason_n because_o i_o desire_v and_o procure_v some_o mean_n for_o time_n and_o place_n wherein_o he_o may_v be_v with_o i_o and_o even_o this_o little_a thing_n i_o do_v often_o without_o any_o inclination_n of_o my_o own_o but_o only_o by_o the_o great_a violence_n which_o either_o i_o offer_v to_o myself_o or_o else_o be_v offer_v to_o i_o by_o our_o lord_n since_o praemise_n therefore_o the_o use_n of_o mental_a prayer_n be_v so_o fit_a yea_o and_o so_o very_o necessary_a even_o for_o such_o as_o serve_v not_o god_n but_o offend_v he_o and_o since_o no_o body_n can_v true_o find_v any_o such_o hurt_n which_o it_o can_v possible_o do_v as_o will_v not_o be_v much_o great_a without_o prayer_n at_o least_o how_o can_v such_o forbear_v it_o as_o serve_v almighty_a god_n and_o desire_v to_o serve_v he_o most_o certain_o unless_o a_o man_n have_v a_o mind_n to_o pass_v through_o the_o trouble_n &_o misery_n of_o this_o life_n with_o a_o addition_n of_o more_o misery_n and_o to_o shut_v up_o the_o very_a gate_n against_o god_n himself_o for_o fear_n lest_o he_o shall_v give_v he_o comfort_n by_o this_o mean_n i_o can_v possible_o understand_v this_o proceed_n of_o he_o i_o have_v real_o great_a compassion_n and_o sorrow_n for_o those_o poor_a soul_n who_o will_v needs_o serve_v almighty_a god_n upon_o their_o own_o cost_n for_o as_o for_o they_o who_o use_v mental_a prayer_n
by_o those_o beam_n you_o will_v find_v it_o to_o be_v all_o full_a of_o moat_n this_o comparison_n be_v very_o literal_o true_a for_o before_o the_o soul_n be_v in_o this_o extasis_fw-la she_o conceive_v herself_o to_o have_v be_v very_o careful_a not_o to_o offend_v almighty_a god_n &_o that_o she_o perform_v it_o according_a to_o the_o uttermost_a of_o her_o power_n but_o yet_o be_v come_v once_o so_o far_o as_o that_o this_o sun_n of_o justice_n shine_v upon_o she_o which_o make_v her_o open_a her_o eye_n she_o than_o see_v so_o many_o moat_n therein_o that_o she_o will_v be_v glad_a if_o she_o can_v tell_v how_o to_o shut_v they_o again_o for_o she_o be_v not_o yet_o become_v so_o true_a a_o eaglet_n of_o this_o swift_a and_o strong_a eagle_n which_o breed_v she_o as_o that_o she_o can_v be_v able_a to_o look_v earnest_o upon_o this_o sun_n but_o how_o little_a soever_o she_o chance_v to_o hold_v they_o open_a she_o see_v herself_o all_o impure_a and_o call_v that_o verse_n to_o mind_n which_o say_v who_o shall_v ever_o be_v just_a in_o thy_o presence_n when_o once_o she_o behold_v this_o divine_a sun_n her_o sight_n be_v dazzle_v by_o the_o brightness_n of_o it_o but_o when_o she_o look_v in_o upon_o herself_o her_o eye_n be_v stop_v up_o with_o clay_n and_o so_o this_o poor_a dove_n be_v blind_a yea_o and_o it_o happen_v many_o time_n that_o she_o also_o remain_v blind_a for_o good_a and_o all_o as_o be_v absorb_v amaze_a and_o as_o it_o be_v out_o of_o her_o wit_n with_o so_o many_o mighty_a greatness_n as_o she_o be_v then_o grow_v to_o see_v heer_n final_o be_v true_a humility_n acquire_v not_o care_v any_o way_n at_o all_o either_o to_o speak_v well_o of_o herself_o or_o yet_o that_o other_o shall_v do_v it_o and_o our_o lord_n divide_v and_o dispose_v of_o the_o fruit_n of_o this_o garden_n not_o she_o and_o so_o there_o stick_v nothing_o of_o it_o to_o her_o finger_n all_o the_o good_a which_o she_o have_v go_v on_o as_o still_o address_v to_o almighty_a god_n and_o if_o she_o be_v draw_v to_o say_v any_o thing_n of_o herself_o it_o be_v also_o direct_v to_o his_o glory_n for_o she_o know_v that_o she_o have_v no_o interest_n therein_o and_o can_v be_v ignorant_a thereof_o even_o though_o she_o will_v as_o discern_v it_o by_o the_o very_a sight_n of_o her_o eye_n which_o be_v shut_v towards_o the_o thing_n of_o this_o world_n but_o which_o be_v still_o keep_v open_a for_o the_o understanding_n of_o truth_n almost_o whether_o she_o will_v or_o no._n the_o one_o and_o twenty_o chapter_n she_o prosecute_v and_o finish_v this_o last_o degree_n of_o prayer_n she_o declare_v what_o the_o soul_n find_v therein_o when_o she_o return_v to_o live_v again_o in_o the_o world_n and_o the_o light_n also_o which_o our_o lord_n give_v concern_v the_o deceit_n and_o error_n of_o the_o same_o world_n this_o chapter_n deliver_v excellent_a doctrine_n i_o will_v therefore_o now_o finish_v that_o which_o i_o be_v say_v that_o namely_o there_o be_v here_o no_o more_o now_o any_o need_n that_o the_o soul_n shall_v give_v any_o new_a consent_n since_o already_o she_o have_v give_v it_o all_o and_o know_v that_o she_o have_v voluntary_o deliver_v herself_o whole_o up_o into_o his_o hand_n and_o that_o she_o can_v deceive_v he_o who_o be_v the_o knower_n of_o all_o thing_n for_o it_o be_v not_o as_o thing_n pass_v here_o in_o this_o world_n where_o all_o this_o life_n of_o we_o be_v full_a of_o nothing_o but_o duplicity_n and_o deceit_n and_o when_o you_o think_v you_o have_v full_o get_v the_o good_a will_n of_o any_o creature_n by_o the_o show_n he_o make_v you_o quick_o come_v to_o understand_v that_o all_o be_v trick_n and_o lie_v and_o that_o no_o body_n can_v tell_v how_o to_o live_v in_o a_o world_n of_o so_o much_o odd_a business_n especial_o if_o there_o be_v any_o little_a interest_n of_o the_o party_n but_o bless_a be_v that_o soul_n which_o our_o lord_n come_v once_o to_o draw_v to_o the_o knowledge_n of_o such_o thing_n as_o be_v real_a truth_n o_o what_o a_o condition_n and_o fortune_n be_v this_o for_o king_n and_o how_o much_o will_v it_o import_v they_o more_o to_o gain_v this_o great_a advantage_n then_o to_o get_v large_a dominion_n and_o state_n what_o rectitude_n will_v there_o be_v find_v in_o the_o kingdom_n how_o many_o mischief_n will_v have_v be_v forbear_v already_o &_o will_v also_o be_v forbear_v hereafter_o for_o here_o there_o be_v no_o fear_n of_o lose_v life_n or_o honour_n for_o the_o love_n of_o almighty_a god_n but_o rather_o such_o loss_n as_o these_o will_v go_v for_o a_o great_a blessing_n among_o such_o as_o find_v thenfelue_n carry_v another_o manner_n of_o respect_n to_o the_o honour_n of_o our_o lord_n then_o to_o all_o they_o to_o who_o they_o be_v less_o oblige_v for_o king_n be_v the_o man_n who_o those_o other_o follow_v and_o in_o this_o case_n these_o king_n will_v loose_v a_o thousand_o kingdom_n and_o they_o will_v have_v great_a reason_n to_o be_v glad_a to_o do_v so_o rather_o they_o to_o loose_v the_o mean_n of_o make_v one_o step_n further_o towards_o the_o augmentation_n of_o the_o holy_a catholic_n faith_n or_o the_o procute_n some_o light_n for_o heretic_n for_o it_o be_v another_o manner_n of_o business_n to_o purchase_v and_o get_v such_o a_o kind_n of_o kingdom_n as_o will_v never_o end_v and_o what_o soul_n soever_o shall_v come_v to_o taste_v but_o one_o single_a drop_n of_o this_o water_n all_o the_o rest_n of_o this_o whole_a world_n will_v be_v but_o fit_a even_o to_o turn_v the_o stomach_n but_o now_o if_o the_o soul_n of_o such_o a_o person_n shall_v fall_v out_o to_o be_v once_o ingulf_v into_o this_o water_n what_o strange_a effect_n will_v it_o produce_v dear_a lord_n if_o thou_o shall_v draw_v i_o to_o such_o a_o condition_n as_o that_o i_o may_v be_v able_a to_o publish_v this_o truth_n with_o a_o loud_a voice_n they_o will_v yet_o believe_v i_o no_o more_o than_o they_o do_v other_o who_o know_v how_o to_o publish_v the_o same_o after_o a_o much_o better_a manner_n but_o yet_o at_o least_o i_o shall_v give_v satisfaction_n to_o myself_o and_o i_o think_v i_o shall_v esteem_v even_o my_o very_a life_n but_o at_o a_o little_a rate_n upon_o condition_n that_o i_o may_v be_v able_a to_o give_v but_o some_o one_o of_o these_o single_a truth_n to_o be_v well_o understand_v and_o yet_o i_o know_v not_o what_o i_o shall_v be_v able_a to_o do_v with_o myself_o afterward_o for_o there_o be_v no_o trust_n at_o all_o to_o be_v have_v in_o i_o i_o be_v that_o miserable_a creature_n which_o i_o be_o yet_o still_o i_o have_v so_o great_a impulse_n to_o utter_v and_o declare_v these_o thing_n to_o such_o as_o be_v in_o authority_n and_o command_v that_o i_o think_v they_o do_v even_o annihilate_v and_o consume_v i_o and_o yet_o now_o since_o i_o can_v do_v no_o more_o i_o return_v o_o my_o lord_n towards_o thou_o to_o seek_v remedy_n for_o all_o inconvenience_n for_o thou_o o_o my_o lord_n know_v well_o how_o high_o glad_a i_o will_v be_v to_o dispossess_v myself_o even_o of_o all_o these_o very_a favour_n which_o of_o thy_o goodness_n thou_o have_v vouchsafe_v to_o do_v i_o provide_v always_o that_o i_o may_v still_o remain_v in_o condition_n never_o to_o offend_v thou_o more_o and_o to_o resign_v they_o up_o to_o king_n king_n and_o prince_n for_o then_o it_o be_v very_o certain_a that_o it_o will_v be_v whole_o impossible_a for_o they_o either_o to_o permit_v that_o those_o thing_n shall_v be_v do_v which_o be_v permit_v or_o yet_o that_o they_o shall_v fail_v to_o receive_v extraordinary_a blessing_n at_o thy_o hand_n o_o make_v they_o my_o god_n understand_v to_o how_o much_o they_o be_v oblige_v since_o thou_o be_v please_v by_o what_o i_o have_v hear_v to_o honour_v they_o in_o such_o sort_n upon_o earth_n as_o that_o when_o thou_o take_v any_o of_o they_o away_o there_o be_v some_o kind_n of_o star_n signification_n thereof_o even_o in_o the_o heaven_n and_o when_o i_o think_v of_o this_o it_o breed_v a_o kind_n of_o devotion_n in_o i_o that_o thou_o o_o my_o king_n may_v be_v please_v to_o make_v they_o even_o hereby_o understand_v that_o they_o ought_v to_o imitate_v thou_o in_o their_o life_n since_o there_o grow_v in_o some_o sort_n to_o be_v certain_a appearance_n and_o sign_n in_o heaven_n at_o their_o death_n as_o there_o be_v when_o even_o thyself_o come_v to_o die_v i_o see_v well_o that_o i_o be_o presume_v very_o far_o but_o i_o beseech_v your_o reverence_n tear_v it_o if_o you_o mislike_v it_o and_o believe_v that_o i_o will_v be_v glad_a to_o speak_v it_o better_o if_o i_o be_v present_a
find_v so_o many_o inconvenience_n in_o it_o that_o they_o be_v earnest_a in_o persuade_v i_o not_o to_o proceed_v therein_o but_o now_o i_o tell_v they_o heerupon_o that_o if_o they_o change_v their_o opinion_n so_o soon_o i_o will_v hold_v myself_o fast_o to_o the_o first_o at_o this_o time_n upon_o my_o entreaty_n and_o because_o this_o lady_n have_v never_o see_v that_o holy_a man_n fray_n pedro_n de_fw-fr alcantara_n our_o lord_n be_v please_v that_o he_o shall_v come_v to_o her_o house_n and_o he_o be_v so_o great_a a_o lover_n of_o poverty_n and_o have_v observe_v and_o practise_v it_o so_o many_o year_n be_v not_o ignorant_a of_o the_o riches_n which_o it_o contain_v and_o so_o he_o assist_v i_o much_o and_o command_v i_o that_o i_o shall_v by_o no_o mean_n forbear_v to_o carrie-on_a my_o desire_n and_o now_o through_o his_o opinion_n and_o help_v he_o be_v a_o person_n who_o can_v best_o give_v counsel_n in_o it_o as_o understand_v the_o matter_n in_o hand_n by_o long_a experience_n i_o resolve_v that_o i_o will_v go_v seek_v no_o further_o and_o be_v one_o day_n recommend_v the_o matter_n earnest_o to_o christ_n our_o lord_n it_o please_v he_o to_o tell_v i_o express_o that_o i_o shall_v by_o no_o mean_n forbear_v to_o make_v the_o monastery_n poor_a that_o this_o be_v both_o his_o father_n will_n and_o his_o and_o that_o he_o will_v help_v i_o in_o it_o now_o there_o be_v so_o great_a effect_n hereof_o in_o a_o rapt_v which_o i_o have_v that_o i_o can_v by_o no_o mean_n doubt_n but_o that_o it_o be_v of_o almighty_a god_n another_o time_n he_o tell_v i_o that_o there_o be_v confusion_n in_o have_v revenue_n and_o he_o say_v also_o other_o thing_n in_o praise_n of_o poverty_n assure_v i_o that_o no_o such_o thing_n as_o be_v necessary_a for_o the_o life_n of_o man_n shall_v ever_o be_v want_v to_o such_o as_o serve_v he_o of_o which_o want_n as_o i_o be_v say_v i_o never_o be_v in_o fear_n for_o my_o part_n our_o lord_n do_v also_o turn_v the_o hart_n of_o the_o religious_a man_n of_o s._n dominick_n order_n of_o who_o i_o say_v that_o he_o write_v to_o forbid_v i_o to_o make_v the_o monastery_n without_o revenue_n and_o now_o i_o be_v very_o well_o please_v upon_o the_o understanding_n of_o this_o and_o upon_o have_v also_o get_v some_o other_o vote_n i_o think_v i_o possess_v all_o the_o riches_n in_o the_o world_n by_o resolve_v to_o live_v on_o alm_n for_o the_o love_n of_o our_o lord_n about_o this_o time_n do_v my_o provincial_n discharge_v his_o commandment_n under_o obedience_n which_o he_o have_v impose_v upon_o i_o for_o stay_v there_o and_o leave_v it_o in_o my_o own_o choice_n either_o to_o return_v or_o else_o to_o stay_v for_o a_o certain_a time_n but_o there_o be_v now_o a_o election_n of_o a_o prioress_n to_o be_v make_v in_o our_o monastery_n and_o they_o advertise_v i_o that_o there_o be_v many_o who_o desire_v to_o impose_v that_o charge_n upon_o i_o whereof_o the_o only_o think_v be_v of_o so_o great_a torment_n to_o i_o that_o i_o can_v easy_o have_v resolve_v myself_o to_o endure_v any_o other_o martyrdom_n in_o the_o whole_a world_n for_o the_o love_n of_o god_n but_o by_o no_o mean_n persuade_v myself_o to_o this_o for_o beside_o the_o great_a trouble_n in_o regard_n that_o they_o be_v so_o very_a many_o in_o the_o house_n which_o point_n i_o never_o like_v and_o for_o other_o reason_n also_o which_o do_v occur_v beside_o that_o i_o never_o love_v to_o have_v office_n but_o do_v ever_o refuse_v they_o all_o it_o seem_v to_o i_o that_o it_o be_v to_o put_v my_o conscience_n itself_o in_o great_a hazard_n and_o so_o i_o bless_v almighty_a god_n for_o my_o not_o be_v present_a in_o the_o place_n &_o i_o write_v also_o to_o some_o friend_n of_o i_o that_o they_o will_v not_o give_v i_o their_o vote_n but_o when_o now_o i_o be_v so_o much_o please_v not_o to_o find_v myself_o there_o in_o that_o noise_n our_o lord_n tell_v i_o that_o i_o shall_v by_o no_o mean_n forbear_v to_o go_v and_o that_o since_o i_o desire_v a_o cross_n there_o be_v now_o a_o good_a great_a one_o provide_v for_o i_o and_o that_o i_o must_v not_o throw_v it_o away_o but_o go_v on_o with_o resolution_n and_o courage_n and_o that_o he_o will_v help_v i_o and_o therefore_o that_o i_o must_v instant_o go_v at_o this_o i_o be_v mighty_o trouble_v and_o do_v nothing_o but_o weep_v for_o i_o think_v it_o have_v be_v the_o cross_n of_o be_v superior_a and_o as_o i_o be_v say_v before_o i_o can_v not_o persuade_v myself_o that_o this_o can_v possible_o be_v good_a for_o my_o soul_n in_o any_o kind_n nor_o can_v i_o find_v any_o reason_n at_o all_o to_o induce_v i_o to_o it_o i_o relate_v all_o this_o story_n to_o my_o ghostly_a father_n and_o he_o command_v i_o to_o be_v go_v for_o it_o be_v evident_o of_o more_o perfection_n to_o do_v so_o but_o only_o because_o the_o heat_n be_v great_a i_o may_v yet_o stay_v where_o i_o be_v some_o few_o day_n for_o fear_n lest_o else_o the_o journey_n may_v do_v i_o harm_n and_o that_o in_o substance_n it_o will_v suffice_v if_o i_o be_v there_o when_o the_o election_n shall_v be_v make_v but_o our_o bless_a lord_n have_v order_v thing_n otherwise_o the_o business_n of_o my_o journey_n be_v instant_o to_o be_v dispatch_v and_o do_v for_o the_o restlessness_n which_o i_o have_v in_o myself_o be_v very_o great_a together_o with_o my_o even_o want_v power_n to_o make_v my_o prayer_n and_o it_o seem_v also_o to_o i_o withal_o that_o i_o fall_v short_a in_o the_o performance_n of_o what_o our_o bless_a lord_n have_v express_o command_v i_o and_o the_o while_n i_o do_v but_o pass_v my_o time_n there_o in_o ease_n and_o pleasure_n that_o it_o may_v seem_v as_o if_o i_o have_v no_o mind_n at_o all_o to_o labour_v and_o suffer_v and_o that_o all_o be_v upon_o the_o matter_n but_o talk_v whensoever_o there_o grow_v to_o be_v question_n of_o serve_v almighty_a god_n for_o else_o i_o be_v able_a to_o be_v where_o it_o be_v more_o perfection_n for_o i_o to_o find_v myself_o why_o do_v i_o forbear_v to_o effect_v it_o and_o if_o i_o shall_v die_v by_o the_o way_n in_o god_n name_n let_v i_o die_v but_o in_o the_o mean_a time_n beside_o all_o the_o rest_n i_o find_v myself_o with_o a_o great_a press_v upon_o my_o very_a hart_n and_o our_o lord_n have_v whole_o deprive_v i_o of_o all_o kind_n of_o gust_n in_o my_o prayer_n in_o a_o word_n i_o be_v bring_v to_o such_o a_o condition_n as_o that_o now_o i_o be_v in_o a_o great_a deal_n of_o torment_n and_o i_o humble_o pray_v the_o lady_n where_o i_o be_v that_o she_o will_v allow_v i_o her_o leave_n to_o be_v go_v for_o already_o my_o ghostly_a father_n when_o he_o find_v i_o to_o be_v in_o that_o case_n will_v i_o also_o to_o begin_v my_o journey_n and_o our_o lord_n have_v also_o move_v he_o as_o well_o as_o i_o but_o the_o ladic_n have_v so_o great_a a_o sense_n of_o trouble_n for_o my_o departure_n that_o the_o same_o grow_v also_o to_o be_v another_o torment_n to_o i_o for_o she_o speak_v of_o how_o much_o trouble_v it_o have_v cost_v she_o to_o obtain_v this_o favour_n of_o leave_n at_o the_o hand_n of_o the_o provincial_n by_o mean_n of_o a_o great_a deal_n of_o importunity_n and_o real_o i_o hold_v it_o for_o a_o kind_n of_o very_o strange_a thing_n that_o she_o will_v be_v content_a to_o give_v way_n herein_o consider_v how_o very_o much_o she_o be_v trouble_v at_o it_o save_v only_o that_o i_o consider_v she_o as_o a_o very_a great_a servant_n of_o almighty_a god_n and_o so_o i_o tell_v she_o once_o that_o my_o go_n import_v his_o service_n much_o with_o many_o other_o thing_n of_o that_o kind_n and_o let_v she_o also_o know_v that_o it_o be_v possible_a that_o i_o may_v return_v to_o see_v she_o again_o she_o grow_v with_o trouble_n enough_o to_o be_v yet_o content_a at_o last_o that_o i_o shall_v go_v but_o now_o i_o for_o my_o own_o part_n have_v no_o difficulty_n at_o all_o in_o do_v it_o for_o when_o once_o i_o come_v to_o understand_v that_o the_o thing_n be_v of_o more_o perfection_n and_o that_o it_o more_o import_v the_o service_n of_o almighty_a god_n that_o i_o shall_v go_v then_o stay_v i_o do_v by_o the_o contentment_n which_o it_o give_v i_o to_o content_v he_o pass_v easy_o over_o the_o pain_n of_o leave_v that_o lady_n who_o i_o see_v so_o much_o trouble_v at_o my_o journey_n as_o many_o other_o person_n also_o be_v to_o who_o i_o be_v oblige_v there_o very_o much_o and_o especial_o to_o my_o ghostly_a father_n who_o be_v of_o the_o
high_a prayer_n by_o use_v so_o continual_a mortification_n &_o final_o through_o such_o a_o incomparable_a treasure_n as_o she_o acquire_v afterward_o by_o a_o multitude_n of_o most_o excellent_a work_n for_o if_o her_o beginning_n be_v such_o as_o outstripped_n even_o the_o conclusion_n of_o very_a perfect_a soul_n how_o far_o shall_v we_o imagine_v that_o she_o will_v be_v sure_a to_o arrive_v and_o reach_v ere_o she_o come_v to_o a_o end_n these_o be_v the_o lively_a testimony_n of_o this_o last_o exact_a and_o diligent_a author_n and_o as_o for_o that_o former_a excellent_a discourse_n of_o doctor_n lewis_n de_fw-fr leon_n it_o serve_v also_o to_o let_v we_o see_v very_o clear_o the_o perfection_n of_o her_o happy_a child_n the_o religious_a woman_n of_o her_o order_n and_o since_o even_o the_o christian_a world_n at_o large_a be_v wont_a to_o call_v &_o know_v she_o by_o the_o name_n of_o mother_n teresa_n how_o much_o more_o have_v the_o religious_a her_o dear_a &_o most_o dear_a daughter_n reason_n to_o call_v she_o so_o as_o they_o do_v since_o together_o with_o the_o strictness_n of_o their_o rule_n a_o strictness_n yet_o much_o more_o tend_v to_o the_o preserve_n &_o purify_n their_o mind_n then_o any_o way_n to_o the_o afflict_v of_o their_o body_n whatsoever_o the_o devil_n will_v fain_o make_v the_o world_n believe_v so_o to_o discourage_v the_o servant_n of_o god_n from_o become_v his_o better_a servant_n by_o live_v under_o this_o most_o holy_a and_o happy_a rule_n there_o be_v ever_o so_o great_a indulgence_n in_o she_o towards_o they_o and_o such_o a_o tender_a kind_n of_o care_n over_o the_o health_n and_o contentment_n yea_o and_o even_o as_o it_o be_v for_o the_o good_a humour_n of_o her_o child_n as_o that_o she_o may_v well_o deserve_v the_o name_n of_o a_o hundred_o thousand_o mother_n all_o in_o one_o for_o that_o her_o very_a kindness_n arrive_v even_o thus_o far_o may_v be_v see_v in_o many_o passage_n both_o of_o her_o rule_n &_o of_o her_o life_n so_o that_o upon_o the_o whole_a matter_n it_o be_v a_o kind_n of_o hard_a case_n to_o decide_v whether_o she_o be_v of_o more_o rigour_n to_o herself_o or_o of_o more_o indulgence_n towards_o her_o child_n and_o she_o do_v express_o require_v that_o her_o successor_n shall_v be_v always_o careful_a to_o maintain_v the_o very_a self_n same_o sweet_a and_o even_o as_o it_o be_v kinde-harted_n spirit_n in_o the_o government_n of_o all_o such_o soul_n as_o shall_v ever_o come_v to_o range_v themselves_o by_o her_o order_n and_o it_o seem_v that_o not_o only_o her_o counsel_n be_v impart_v to_o they_o then_o but_o that_o her_o prayer_n &_o protection_n continue_v now_o to_o the_o self_n same_o purpose_n and_o that_o still_o she_o shroud_n and_o shelter_n they_o under_o that_o care_n for_o the_o selfsame_a spirit_n remain_v so_o entire_o true_o among_o they_o at_o this_o day_n that_o as_o they_o lead_v the_o life_n of_o angel_n on_o the_o one_o side_n so_o yet_o do_v they_o also_o on_o the_o other_o spend_v their_o time_n with_o so_o much_o joy_n &_o gust_n through_o that_o incredible_a kind_n of_o peace_n &_o union_n of_o mind_n which_o they_o possess_v as_o well_o in_o order_n to_o their_o superior_n as_o to_o themselves_o as_o if_o every_o one_o of_o they_o be_v no_o less_o then_o mighty_o even_o in_o love_n with_o every_o other_o which_o put_v they_o into_o a_o kind_n of_o heaven_n before_o their_o time_n nay_o still_o she_o seem_v as_o it_o be_v visible_o to_o work_v in_o all_o kind_n for_o their_o advantage_n and_o here_o since_o this_o holy_a saint_n take_v all_o the_o accident_n and_o occasion_n not_o only_o of_o her_o child_n but_o even_o of_o those_o stranger_n so_o extreme_o and_o extraordinary_o to_o hart_n who_o apply_v themselves_o to_o obtain_v her_o help_n whilst_o she_o be_v yet_o but_o a_o inhabitant_n of_o this_o world_n i_o be_o confident_o yea_o and_o assure_o persuade_v that_o she_o will_v now_o have_v another_o manner_n of_o solicitude_n for_o their_o good_a and_o growth_n in_o all_o happiness_n who_o shall_v celebrate_v and_o desire_v to_o serve_v she_o which_o i_o wish_v that_o the_o whole_a world_n may_v do_v and_o for_o my_o part_n i_o be_o so_o much_o bind_v to_o our_o bless_a lord_n for_o which_o i_o adore_v he_o with_o my_o whole_a hart_n as_o to_o be_v sure_a that_o i_o will_v procure_v to_o make_v one_o the_o short_a preface_n or_o introduction_n which_o be_v make_v by_o the_o glorious_a s._n teresa_n herself_o to_o this_o life_n of_o she_o which_o she_o write_v i_o can_v have_v wish_v that_o as_o they_o have_v give_v i_o a_o large_a kind_n of_o liberty_n yea_o and_o a_o commandment_n also_o to_o setdowne_v both_o the_o manner_n of_o my_o prayer_n and_o the_o favour_n which_o our_o bless_a lord_n be_v please_v to_o do_v i_o they_o have_v also_o no_o less_o permit_v i_o to_o declare_v my_o great_a sin_n and_o wicked_a life_n in_o very_o particular_a and_o clear_a manner_n for_o herein_o i_o shall_v have_v receive_v much_o consolation_n but_o this_o they_o will_v not_o suffer_v i_o to_o do_v nay_o rather_o in_o this_o kind_n they_o tie_v i_o up_o very_o short_a and_o therefore_o i_o beg_v earnest_o even_o for_o the_o love_n of_o our_o bless_a lord_n that_o they_o who_o shall_v read_v this_o discourse_n of_o my_o life_n will_v take_v knowledge_n and_o attentive_o observe_v that_o it_o have_v be_v so_o very_o unworthy_a and_o wicked_a as_o that_o i_o have_v not_o find_v any_o one_o saint_n among_o all_o they_o who_o have_v be_v convert_v from_o sin_n to_o the_o service_n of_o almighty_a god_n in_o who_o example_n i_o may_v be_v able_a to_o take_v comfort_n for_o i_o consider_v that_o when_o once_o our_o lord_n call_v they_o to_o himself_o they_o return_v not_o any_o more_o to_o offend_v he_o whereas_o i_o not_o only_o grow_v worse_o but_o rather_o do_v it_o seem_v even_o make_v it_o my_o very_a business_n and_o study_v how_o to_o resist_v those_o great_a favour_n which_o his_o divine_a majesty_n be_v please_v to_o do_v i_o as_o one_o who_o on_o the_o one_o side_n find_v herself_o oblige_v to_o serve_v he_o for_o they_o so_o much_o the_o more_o and_o yet_o who_o on_o the_o other_o observe_v withal_o that_o she_o be_v unable_a to_o make_v he_o any_o payment_n for_o the_o least_o part_n of_o all_o that_o which_o she_o owe_v he_o let_v he_o be_v bless_v for_o ever_o who_o vouchsafe_v to_o expect_v i_o so_o long_o and_o i_o beseech_v he_o with_o my_o whole_a hart_n to_o give_v i_o grace_n that_o i_o may_v with_o all_o claritie_n and_o truth_n make_v this_o relation_n which_o my_o ghostly_a father_n have_v command_v at_o my_o hand_n yea_o and_o which_o i_o know_v our_o lord_n himself_o have_v long_o expect_v from_o i_o save_v that_o yet_o withal_o i_o can_v not_o easy_o presume_v so_o far_o as_o to_o venture_v upon_o it_o but_o at_o least_o i_o wish_v that_o now_o it_o may_v prove_v to_o the_o glory_n and_o praise_n of_o his_o divine_a majesty_n as_o also_o to_o the_o end_n that_o my_o say_a ghostly_a father_n grow_v hereafter_o into_o a_o clear_a knowledge_n of_o i_o by_o this_o mean_n may_v assist_v i_o in_o my_o weakness_n so_o much_o the_o more_o that_o so_o at_o length_n i_o may_v be_v able_a to_o pay_v some_o little_a part_n of_o that_o much_o service_n which_o i_o owe_v to_o our_o bless_a lord_n who_o let_v all_o creature_n praise_v for_o all_o eternity_n amen_o the_o first_o chapter_n she_o show_v haw_v our_o lord_n begin_v to_o stirre-up_a her_o soul_n in_o her_o childhood_n to_o the_o perform_n of_o virtuous_a action_n and_o of_o the_o help_n which_o it_o give_v in_o order_n to_o this_o end_n to_o be_v bear_v of_o virtuous_a parent_n the_o very_a have_v of_o virtuous_a parent_n and_o such_o as_o live_v in_o the_o fear_n of_o almighty_a god_n together_o with_o those_o favour_n which_o i_o receive_v from_o his_o divine_a majesty_n have_v be_v able_a to_o have_v make_v i_o good_a if_o i_o have_v not_o be_v so_o very_o wicked_a my_o father_n be_v delight_v in_o read_v good_a book_n and_o use_v to_o have_v they_o in_o spanish_a that_o so_o his_o child_n may_v also_o read_v they_o this_o consideration_n together_o with_o the_o care_n which_o my_o mother_n have_v to_o make_v we_o say_v our_o prayer_n and_o to_o put_v we_o into_o a_o way_n of_o devotion_n to_o our_o bless_a lady_n and_o some_o other_o particular_a saint_n begin_v to_o awake_v and_o stir_v i_o up_o when_o i_o be_v to_o the_o best_a of_o my_o remembrance_n about_o six_o or_o seven_o year_n old_a it_o assist_v i_o also_o towards_o this_o good_a end_n to_o find_v that_o there_o be_v no_o mean_n for_o i_o to_o win_v the_o favour_n of_o
my_o parent_n but_o by_o the_o way_n of_o virtue_n my_o father_n be_v a_o man_n of_o much_o charity_n towards_o poor_a people_n and_o of_o compassion_n towards_o the_o sick_a yea_o and_o he_o have_v so_o much_o pity_n even_o of_o his_o servant_n that_o he_o can_v never_o resolve_v to_o keep_v any_o slave_n for_o the_o tenderness_n which_o he_o have_v towards_o they_o and_o there_o be_v once_o a_o slave_n in_o his_o house_n who_o belong_v to_o a_o brother_n of_o he_o he_o cause_v he_o to_o be_v treat_v and_o feed_v as_o if_o he_o have_v be_v one_o of_o his_o own_o child_n and_o say_v through_o his_o great_a compassion_n that_o he_o can_v not_o endure_v to_o see_v such_o as_o he_o be_v unless_o they_o may_v be_v make_v free_a he_o be_v a_o man_n of_o much_o truth_n nor_o do_v ever_o any_o creature_n hear_v he_o either_o detract_v or_o swear_v he_o be_v excee_o honest_a and_o chaste_a my_o mother_n also_o be_v enrich_v with_o many_o virtue_n and_o she_o pass_v through_o this_o life_n of_o she_o with_o grievous_a sickness_n her_o chastity_n and_o purity_n be_v great_a in_o the_o very_o high_a degree_n and_o though_o she_o have_v a_o abundance_n of_o beauty_n yet_o be_v it_o never_o so_o much_o as_o hear_v that_o she_o give_v occasion_n for_o the_o world_n to_o conceive_v that_o she_o make_v any_o account_n of_o it_o at_o all_o for_o come_v afterward_o to_o die_v when_o she_o be_v but_o three_o and_o thirty_o year_n old_a the_o order_n of_o her_o attire_n have_v yet_o be_v such_o as_o may_v have_v well_o become_v a_o person_n of_o age._n she_o be_v of_o a_o most_o sweet_a disposition_n and_o yet_o withal_o of_o a_o very_a solid_a understanding_n the_o affliction_n which_o she_o sustain_v in_o this_o life_n be_v great_a and_o she_o make_v a_o most_o christian_n end_n when_o she_o die_v we_o be_v three_o sister_n and_o nine_o brother_n and_o all_o through_o the_o goodness_n of_o almighty_a god_n be_v like_o our_o parent_n in_o be_v virtuous_a except_o myself_o though_o yet_o i_o be_v the_o most_o belove_a of_o they_o all_o by_o my_o father_n and_o true_o till_o i_o begin_v to_o offend_v almighty_a god_n he_o may_v seem_v to_o have_v have_v some_o reason_n for_o it_o go_v to_o my_o very_a hart_n to_o remember_v and_o consider_v those_o good_a inclination_n which_o our_o lord_n have_v give_v i_o and_o the_o very_a little_a i_o know_v how_o to_o serve_v myself_o thereof_o my_o brother_n also_o be_v such_o in_o their_o proceed_n and_o way_n of_o life_n as_o that_o they_o do_v not_o by_o any_o mean_n dis-assist_a i_o from_o serve_v almighty_a god_n one_o of_o they_o be_v almost_o of_o my_o year_n and_o i_o love_v he_o best_o of_o they_o all_o though_o yet_o i_o love_v they_o all_o very_o much_o as_o they_o also_o do_v i_o but_o we_o two_o join_v much_o together_o in_o read_v the_o live_v of_o saint_n and_o when_o i_o see_v the_o martyrdom_n through_o which_o some_o of_o they_o have_v pass_v for_o the_o love_n of_o our_o lord_n i_o think_v they_o have_v buy_v heaven_n where_o they_o be_v to_o see_v and_o enjoy_v his_o divine_a majesty_n very_o good_a cheap_a and_o myself_o also_o desire_v much_o to_o die_v so_o though_o not_o yet_o for_o the_o love_n which_o i_o find_v and_o feel_v myself_o to_o bear_v he_o but_o rather_o that_o i_o may_v come_v by_o so_o compendious_a a_o way_n to_o enjoy_v those_o great_a felicity_n which_o i_o have_v read_v to_o be_v impart_v in_o heaven_n i_o associate_v myself_o therefore_o to_o this_o brother_n of_o i_o to_o consider_v what_o mean_v there_o may_v be_v for_o our_o obtain_v this_o end_n and_o so_o we_o grow_v to_o resolve_v that_o we_o will_v go_v into_o barbary_n among_o the_o moor_n and_o beg_v by_o the_o way_n as_o we_o go_v that_o so_o we_o may_v come_v by_o degree_n to_o loose_v our_o life_n there_o for_o our_o lord_n and_o it_o seem_v that_o he_o give_v we_o courage_n enough_o for_o this_o purpose_n even_o in_o that_o tender_a age_n of_o we_o if_o we_o can_v have_v find_v any_o mean_n to_o set_v it_o on_o foot_n but_o our_o even_o have_v of_o parent_n seem_v to_o be_v the_o great_a hindrance_n we_o have_v we_o find_v ourselves_o much_o amaze_v to_o perceive_v in_o those_o thing_n which_o we_o read_v that_o both_o the_o pain_n and_o glory_n of_o the_o next_o life_n be_v to_o last_v for_o ever_o and_o we_o chance_v to_o speak_v often_o of_o this_o particular_a and_o we_o take_v pleasure_n in_o repeat_v these_o word_n many_o time_n for_o ever_o for_o ever_o for_o ever_o and_o by_o continue_v to_o pronounce_v they_o long_o and_o often_o our_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o imprint_v the_o way_n of_o truth_n upon_o my_o hart_n in_o that_o very_a infancy_n of_o i_o but_o now_o when_o i_o see_v it_o be_v impossible_a for_o i_o to_o go_v where_o they_o may_v put_v i_o to_o death_n for_o the_o love_n of_o our_o lord_n my_o brother_n and_o i_o project_v how_o to_o become_v heremite_n at_o home_n and_o so_o in_o a_o certain_a garden_n which_o belong_v to_o the_o house_n we_o procure_v to_o set_v up_o some_o little_a oratorye_n or_o chapel_n after_o the_o manner_n of_o heremitage_n the_o best_a we_o can_v and_o we_o assemble_v little_a stone_n for_o that_o purpose_n which_o will_v instant_o be_v fall_v down_o again_o and_o so_o we_o meet_v with_o no_o mean_n to_o put_v out_o good_a desire_n in_o execution_n but_o in_o the_o mean_a time_n i_o be_o not_o without_o some_o feel_n of_o devotion_n to_o consider_v how_o soon_o it_o please_v almighty_a god_n to_o give_v i_o this_o kind_n of_o tenderness_n towards_o he_o which_o afterward_o i_o grow_v to_o loose_v through_o my_o own_o fault_n i_o give_v alm_n as_o well_o as_o i_o can_v though_o it_o be_v but_o little_a i_o procure_v to_o be_v much_o alone_a for_o the_o better_a do_v my_o devotion_n which_o be_v many_o and_o especial_o that_o of_o the_o rosarie_n to_o which_o my_o mother_n be_v much_o affect_v and_o she_o endeavour_v also_o to_o make_v we_o so_o i_o take_v particular_a contentment_n while_o i_o be_v play_v with_o other_o child_n like_o myself_o to_o frame_v certain_a little_a thing_n like_o monastery_n as_o if_o we_o have_v be_v religious_a woman_n and_o i_o thought_n i_o desire_v to_o be_v one_o though_o yet_o not_o with_o such_o vehemency_n of_o affection_n as_o i_o do_v those_o other_o thing_n whereof_o i_o speak_v i_o remember_v that_o when_o my_o mother_n die_v she_o leave_v i_o a_o little_a less_o then_o twelue_v year_n old_a and_o as_o soon_o as_o i_o begin_v to_o understand_v how_o great_a a_o loss_n i_o have_v sustain_v by_o lose_v she_o i_o be_v very_o much_o afflict_v and_o so_o i_o go_v besore_n a_o image_n of_o our_o bless_a lady_n and_o i_o humble_o beseech_v she_o with_o many_o tear_n that_o she_o will_v vouchsafe_v to_o be_v my_o mother_n and_o though_o i_o perform_v this_o little_a action_n but_o in_o a_o plain_a and_o simple_a manner_n yet_o i_o think_v i_o may_v well_o conceive_v that_o it_o have_v serve_v i_o to_o very_o good_a purpose_n for_o i_o have_v most_o evident_o find_v the_o favour_n of_o this_o sovereign_a virgin_n concern_v all_o thing_n wherein_o i_o have_v recommend_v myself_o to_o her_o care_n and_o in_o fine_a she_o have_v bring_v i_o about_o to_o herself_o it_o afflict_v i_o to_o the_o very_a hart_n to_o see_v and_o consider_v how_o poor_a those_o impediment_n be_v which_o keep_v i_o from_o remain_v entire_a and_o constant_a in_o those_o good_a desire_n which_o i_o begin_v to_o have_v but_o o_o my_o dear_a lord_n since_o it_o seem_v thou_o will_v vouchsafe_v to_o save_v i_o and_o i_o beseech_v thy_o divine_a majesty_n that_o it_o my_o be_v so_o and_o to_o show_v i_o so_o great_a favour_n as_o thou_o have_v do_v i_o may_v it_o not_o please_v thou_o not_o for_o my_o interest_n and_o profit_n but_o for_o that_o high_a reverence_n which_o be_v due_a to_o thyself_o to_o take_v order_n that_o this_o house_n of_o my_o hart_n wherein_o thou_o shall_v for_o ever_o remain_v may_v be_v no_o more_o defile_v nay_o it_o go_v o_o lord_n to_o my_o very_a soul_n even_o to_o say_v thus_o much_o because_o i_o know_v and_o feel_v that_o the_o fault_n thereof_o be_v whole_o i_o for_o as_o for_o thou_o i_o find_v clear_o enough_o that_o there_o want_v nothing_o at_o all_o on_o thy_o part_n to_o secure_v i_o for_o be_v total_o thou_o own_o even_o from_o that_o tender_a age_n of_o i_o and_o if_o i_o will_v be_v content_a to_o seek_v some_o colour_n to_o complain_v of_o my_o parent_n with_o as_o little_a reason_n also_o can_v i_o do_v that_o since_o i_o can_v never_o discover_v any_o thing_n in_o
i_o still_o desire_v to_o recover_v my_o health_n though_o yet_o i_o endure_v my_o sickness_n with_o great_a alacrity_n and_o i_o will_v be_v think_v and_o consider_v sometime_o that_o if_o by_o enjoy_v my_o health_n i_o may_v chance_v be_v damn_v it_o will_v be_v better_o for_o i_o to_o remain_v still_o as_o sick_a as_o i_o be_v but_o howsoever_o i_o conceive_v that_o i_o shall_v be_v able_a to_o serve_v almighty_a god_n much_o better_o if_o i_o can_v enjoy_v my_o health_n now_o this_o be_v the_o abuse_n and_o error_n which_o deceive_v we_o not_o to_o resign_v ourselves_o entire_o to_o the_o disposition_n and_o good_a pleasure_n of_o our_o lord_n who_o know_v best_a what_o be_v fit_a for_o us._n but_o in_o the_o mean_a time_n i_o get_v many_o mass_n say_v for_o this_o purpose_n and_o i_o resort_v also_o to_o the_o use_n of_o other_o solid_a and_o approve_a prayer_n for_o i_o be_v never_o a_o friend_n of_o certain_a odd_a devotion_n which_o be_v use_v by_o diverse_a person_n and_o especial_o by_o woman_n with_o some_o odd_a ceremony_n which_o i_o can_v never_o endure_v since_o i_o understand_v that_o they_o savour_v of_o superstition_n howsoever_o other_o folk_n be_v move_v by_o they_o and_o so_o i_o take_v for_o my_o advocate_n and_o lord_n the_o glorious_a s._n joseph_n and_o i_o recommend_v myself_o much_o to_o he_o and_o i_o have_v see_v clear_o that_o this_o father_n and_o lord_n of_o i_o have_v draw_v i_o as_o well_o out_o of_o this_o necessity_n as_o out_o of_o other_o great_a when_o there_o be_v question_n of_o honour_n and_o loss_n of_o the_o soul_n and_o that_o with_o more_o benefit_n and_o advantage_n then_o even_o myself_o can_v tell_v how_o to_o desire_v nay_o i_o can_v remember_v that_o hitherto_o i_o ever_o desire_v any_o thing_n by_o his_o mean_n which_o he_o have_v fail_v to_o obtain_v for_o i_o and_o it_o be_v able_a even_o to_o amaze_v i_o when_o i_o consider_v the_o great_a favour_n which_o almighty_a god_n have_v do_v i_o by_o mean_n of_o this_o bless_a saint_n and_o the_o danger_n both_o of_o body_n and_o soul_n out_o of_o which_o he_o have_v deliver_v i_o in_o such_o sort_n as_o that_o it_o seem_v our_o lord_n have_v give_v the_o grace_n and_o power_n to_o other_o saint_n to_o succour_v man_n in_o some_o one_o kind_n of_o necessity_n of_o they_o but_o i_o find_v by_o good_a experience_n that_o this_o glorious_a saint_n succour_v we_o in_o they_o all_o and_o that_o our_o lord_n will_v make_v we_o understand_v that_o as_o he_o will_v be_v subject_a to_o s._n joseph_n upon_o earth_n and_o that_o by_o enjoy_v the_o name_n of_o his_o father_n and_o by_o be_v as_o it_o be_v his_o director_n and_o tutor_n he_o may_v command_v he_o so_o also_o he_o will_v now_o in_o heaven_n grant_v whatsoever_o this_o saint_n shall_v desire_v this_o truth_n have_v also_o be_v see_v by_o the_o experience_n of_o other_o who_o i_o have_v desire_v to_o recommend_v themselves_o to_o this_o saint_n and_o now_o many_o be_v grow_v to_o be_v devote_a to_o he_o and_o myself_o also_o have_v fresh_a experience_n of_o this_o truth_n for_o my_o part_n i_o procure_v to_o celebrate_v his_o festivitie_n with_o all_o the_o solemnity_n i_o be_v able_a to_o use_v but_o yet_o with_o more_o vanity_n then_o true_a spirit_n desire_v that_o it_o may_v be_v perform_v with_o much_o curiosity_n and_o exactness_n though_o yet_o still_o with_o good_a intention_n but_o i_o ever_o have_v this_o of_o ill_a that_o if_o our_o lord_n enable_v i_o at_o any_o time_n to_o do_v any_o thing_n which_o be_v good_a it_o will_v be_v full_a of_o imperfection_n and_o fault_n whereas_o towards_o the_o do_v any_o thing_n amiss_o and_o for_o the_o exercise_v of_o curiosity_n and_o vanity_n i_o use_v much_o diligence_n and_o dexterity_n and_o cunning_a our_o lord_n pardon_v i_o for_o it_o and_o now_o i_o will_v fain_o persuade_v all_o the_o world_n to_o be_v devote_a to_o this_o glorious_a saint_n for_o the_o great_a experience_n which_o i_o have_v have_v of_o the_o blessing_n that_o he_o obtain_v for_o we_o of_o almighty_a god_n nay_o i_o have_v never_o know_v any_o one_o who_o be_v serious_o devote_a to_o he_o and_o perform_v he_o particular_a service_n who_o i_o find_v not_o also_o to_o go_v proceed_v on_o in_o virtue_n for_o real_o he_o assist_v those_o soul_n much_o which_o recommend_v themselves_o to_o he_o and_o to_o my_o best_a remembrance_n there_o be_v diverse_a year_n wherein_o i_o have_v desire_v somewhat_o of_o he_o upon_o his_o festival_n day_n and_o i_o have_v ever_o find_v it_o grant_v and_o if_o peradventure_o my_o petition_n have_v some_o little_a of_o the_o indirect_a belong_v to_o it_o he_o redress_v it_o and_o set_v it_o straight_o for_o my_o great_a good_a if_o i_o be_v any_o such_o person_n as_o have_v authority_n to_o write_v i_o will_v glad_o enlarge_v myself_o here_o to_o make_v particular_a relation_n of_o the_o favour_n which_o this_o glorious_a saint_n have_v obtain_v both_o for_o i_o and_o other_o but_o to_o the_o end_n that_o i_o may_v do_v no_o more_o than_o i_o be_o command_v i_o must_v be_v short_a in_o many_o thing_n than_o i_o will_v and_o more_o large_a in_o other_o then_o be_v needful_a like_o one_o in_o fine_a who_o have_v little_a discretion_n for_o the_o do_v of_o any_o thing_n which_o be_v good_a only_o i_o beg_v for_o the_o love_n of_o almighty_a god_n that_o whosoever_o can_v believe_v i_o will_v try_v the_o truth_n of_o what_o i_o say_v for_o he_o shall_v find_v by_o experience_n how_o great_o a_o good_a thing_n it_o be_v to_o recommend_v himself_o to_o this_o glorious_a patriarch_n and_o to_o be_v devote_a to_o he_o especial_o such_o as_o give_v themselves_o to_o prayer_n shall_v always_o be_v affectionate_a to_o this_o saint_n for_o i_o know_v not_o how_o one_o can_v think_v of_o the_o queen_n of_o the_o angel_n at_o those_o time_n when_o she_o suffer_v so_o much_o during_o the_o infancy_n of_o our_o lord_n jesus_n and_o not_o give_v thanks_n to_o s._n joseph_n for_o the_o great_a assistance_n which_o he_o give_v they_o at_o that_o time_n whosoever_o want_v a_o master_n who_o may_v instruct_v he_o to_o pray_v let_v he_o take_v this_o glorious_a saint_n for_o his_o guide_n and_o he_o shall_v never_o loose_v his_o way_n i_o beseech_v our_o lord_n that_o i_o may_v have_v commit_v no_o error_n in_o presume_v to_o speak_v of_o this_o saint_n for_o though_o i_o thus_o profess_v and_o publish_v myself_o to_o be_v devote_a to_o he_o yet_o have_v i_o be_v ever_o faulty_a in_o the_o not_o do_v he_o real_a service_n and_o in_o not_o imitate_v his_o virtue_n but_o now_o he_o do_v like_o himself_o by_o procure_v that_o i_o may_v be_v able_a to_o rise_v and_o walk_v and_o be_v no_o long_o a_o cripple_n and_o so_o i_o do_v also_o like_o myself_o in_o make_v so_o ill_o use_v of_o this_o favour_n but_o now_o who_o will_v ever_o have_v imagine_v that_o i_o can_v so_o soon_o fall_v back_o again_o after_o my_o receive_n so_o many_o regalo_n at_o the_o hand_n of_o almighty_a god_n and_o after_o his_o divine_a majesty_n have_v vouchsafe_v to_o give_v i_o some_o virtue_n which_o even_o as_o it_o be_v of_o themselves_o do_v awake_a and_o stir_v i_o up_o to_o his_o service_n and_o after_o i_o have_v see_v myself_o even_o as_o it_o be_v dead_a and_o in_o so_o imminent_a danger_n to_o be_v condemn_v to_o hell_n and_o after_o he_o have_v raise_v i_o again_o both_o in_o body_n and_o soul_n in_o such_o sort_n that_o all_o they_o who_o see_v i_o be_v even_o amaze_v to_o find_v that_o i_o can_v so_o long_o be_v alive_a but_o what_o be_v this_o o_o my_o lord_n and_o my_o god_n be_v this_o life_n to_o be_v still_o so_o dangerous_a which_o we_o be_v to_o live_v even_o now_o whilst_o i_o be_o write_v this_o i_o think_v that_o by_o this_o favour_n and_o mercy_n i_o may_v be_v able_a to_o say_v with_o s._n paul_n though_o yet_o not_o with_o such_o perfection_n as_o he_o say_v it_o that_o now_o it_o be_v not_o i_o who_o live_v but_o thou_o o_o my_o creator_n who_o live_v in_o i_o according_a to_o the_o experience_n which_o i_o have_v have_v some_o year_n by_o that_o little_a which_o i_o be_o able_a to_o understand_v of_o myself_o and_o still_o thou_o hold_v and_o keep_v thy_o hand_n over_o i_o and_o i_o find_v myself_o full_a of_o desire_n and_o good_a purpose_n and_o in_o some_o sort_n i_o have_v prove_v also_o even_o by_o experience_n of_o many_o thing_n in_o these_o late_a year_n that_o i_o will_v by_o no_o mean_n do_v any_o thing_n which_o shall_v contradict_v or_o cross_v thy_o will_n how_o little_a soever_o it_o may_v be_v though_o yet_o i_o well_o believe_v that_o i_o
i_o remain_v so_o alter_v yea_o and_o so_o astonish_v that_o i_o intend_v to_o see_v that_o person_n no_o more_o it_o do_v i_o a_o great_a deal_n of_o hurt_n that_o i_o know_v not_o at_o that_o time_n that_o it_o be_v possible_a for_o one_o to_o see_v any_o thing_n but_o with_o the_o eye_n of_o the_o body_n and_o the_o devil_n be_v careful_a enough_o to_o continue_v i_o in_o that_o erroneous_a opinion_n and_o to_o make_v i_o still_o believe_v that_o it_o be_v impossible_a and_o therefore_o that_o i_o have_v but_o fancy_v certain_a thing_n to_o myself_o and_o that_o perhaps_o it_o may_v be_v a_o work_n of_o the_o devil_n and_o he_o bring_v many_o suggestion_n like_o this_o upon_o i_o though_o yet_o still_o i_o be_v very_o confident_o of_o opinion_n that_o it_o be_v god_n and_o no_o conceit_n or_o fancy_n at_o all_o but_o yet_o still_o because_o it_o induce_v i_o to_o do_v thing_n which_o be_v against_o my_o gust_n i_o do_v the_o best_a i_o can_v even_o to_o belie_v my_o very_a self_n and_o forasmuch_o as_o i_o dare_v not_o confer_v with_o any_o body_n about_o this_o particular_a and_o find_v myself_o also_o extreme_o importune_v afterward_o and_o be_v wish_v to_o be_v assure_v that_o it_o can_v not_o be_v ill_o do_v to_o see_v such_o a_o person_n as_o that_o and_o that_o there_o will_v be_v no_o loss_n of_o honour_n by_o it_o but_o rather_o gain_v i_o return_v to_o enjoy_v the_o same_o conversation_n yea_o and_o also_o at_o other_o time_n i_o converse_v in_o like_a manner_n with_o other_o for_o they_o be_v many_o year_n wherein_o i_o take_v this_o pestilential_a recreation_n and_o when_o once_o i_o be_v far_o embark_v therein_o it_o seem_v not_o to_o i_o to_o be_v so_o very_a ill_n as_o yet_o indeed_o it_o be_v though_o still_o it_o be_v very_o true_a that_o sometime_o i_o discern_v clear_o enough_o that_o it_o be_v not_o good_a but_o yet_o no_o other_o conversation_n distract_v i_o so_o much_o as_o this_o in_o particular_a do_v by_o reason_n of_o the_o great_a affection_n which_o i_o bear_v to_o the_o party_n but_o myself_o be_v afterward_o again_o with_o the_o same_o person_n we_o both_o of_o we_o see_v come_v towards_o we_o and_o there_o be_v other_o also_o present_a who_o see_v it_o too_o a_o certain_a thing_n which_o have_v the_o manner_n of_o a_o great_a toad_n and_o it_o press_v and_o pass_v on_o with_o very_o much_o more_o speed_n than_o such_o creature_n use_v to_o have_v for_o my_o part_n i_o be_v not_o able_a to_o conceive_v how_o such_o a_o filthy_a beast_n as_o that_o shall_v get_v into_o that_o room_n through_o that_o part_n from_o whence_o it_o come_v and_o even_o as_o it_o be_v at_o noon_n day_n nor_o have_v ever_o any_o such_o thing_n be_v see_v there_o the_o effect_n which_o it_o wrought_v with_o i_o seem_v not_o to_o have_v be_v void_a of_o some_o mystery_n and_o this_o also_o be_v a_o thing_n which_o i_o can_v never_o forget_v but_o o_o greatness_n of_o almighty_a god_n with_o how_o much_o care_n &_o pity_n be_v thou_o admonish_v i_o in_o so_o many_o kind_n and_o by_o so_o many_o way_n &_o how_o little_a do_v i_o permit_v that_o all_o these_o warning_n shall_v help_v there_o be_v also_o there_o at_o that_o time_n a_o certain_a religious_a woman_n of_o my_o kindred_n and_o she_o be_v ancient_a and_o a_o great_a servant_n of_o god_n and_o of_o much_o discipline_n in_o her_o religious_a order_n she_o also_o will_v sometime_o be_v give_v i_o good_a counsel_n but_o i_o do_v not_o only_o not_o believe_v she_o but_o be_v also_o disgu_v with_o she_o as_o conceave_a that_o she_o will_v needs_o take_v scandal_n at_o i_o without_o cause_n and_o this_o i_o here_o relate_v to_o the_o end_n that_o both_o my_o wickedness_n and_o the_o great_a goodness_n of_o almighty_a god_n may_v be_v the_o better_o understand_v and_o that_o it_o may_v be_v know_v how_o well_o i_o deserve_a hell_n for_o my_o great_a ingratitude_n and_o i_o do_v it_o also_o to_o this_o end_n that_o if_o our_o lord_n may_v so_o ordain_v &_o be_v please_v that_o any_o religious_a woman_n may_v fall_v upon_o read_v this_o discourse_n they_o may_v be_v bring_v to_o be_v careful_a to_o take_v warning_n by_o i_o and_o i_o beg_v of_o they_o that_o for_o the_o love_n of_o our_o lord_n they_o will_v take_v heed_n of_o such_o recreation_n as_o these_o and_o i_o beseech_v his_o divine_a majesty_n that_o some_o one_o of_o they_o may_v be_v disabused_n who_o i_o have_v deceive_v when_o i_o tell_v they_o that_o it_o be_v not_o ill_a and_o when_o be_v in_o such_o blindness_n at_o that_o time_n i_o procure_v to_o assure_v they_o that_o there_o be_v no_o danger_n at_o all_o and_o in_o regard_n also_o that_o by_o the_o ill_a example_n which_o i_o give_v give_v they_o as_o i_o have_v relate_v here_o i_o be_v a_o cause_n to_o they_o of_o great_a mischief_n while_o yet_o i_o think_v not_o that_o i_o do_v so_o much_o hurt_v and_o though_o also_o it_o be_v certain_a that_o i_o have_v no_o design_n at_o all_o to_o deceive_v they_o but_o now_o even_o while_o i_o be_v yet_o much_o indispose_v in_o the_o way_n of_o health_n both_o concern_v body_n and_o mind_n and_o so_o before_o i_o be_v able_a to_o help_v myself_o in_o either_o kind_n i_o grow_v into_o a_o extreme_a desire_n to_o do_v other_o good_a which_o be_v a_o very_a ordinary_a temptation_n for_o new_a beginner_n though_o yet_o it_o happen_v now_o to_o succeed_v well_o with_o i_o and_o consider_v how_o dear_o i_o love_v my_o father_n i_o wish_v he_o the_o self_n same_o benefit_n which_o i_o conceive_v myself_o to_o have_v get_v and_o gain_v by_o mean_n of_o mental_a prayer_n and_o esteem_v that_o in_o this_o life_n there_o be_v no_o great_a blessing_n then_o to_o obtain_v and_o enjoy_v that_o gift_n i_o begin_v by_o certain_a way_n of_o discourse_n to_o procure_v the_o best_a i_o can_v that_o he_o will_v endeavour_v to_o obtain_v it_o and_o i_o give_v he_o certain_a book_n for_o this_o purpose_n now_o he_o be_v a_o man_n of_o so_o much_o virtue_n as_o i_o have_v already_o declare_v grow_v to_o settle_v himself_o so_o very_o well_o in_o this_o exercise_n that_o he_o come_v within_o five_o or_o six_o year_n for_o so_o long_o i_o think_v it_o be_v to_o be_v so_o well_o improve_v and_o advance_v therein_o that_o i_o bless_v our_o lord_n much_o for_o the_o favour_n and_o it_o give_v i_o a_o extreme_a consolation_n the_o trouble_n and_o cross_n which_o he_o endure_v be_v very_o great_a and_o of_o many_o kind_n and_o he_o pass_v through_o they_o all_o with_o much_o conformity_n to_o the_o will_n of_o our_o lord_n he_o come_v to_o see_v i_o often_o and_o be_v great_o comfort_v to_o treat_v of_o spiritual_a thing_n and_o when_o now_o i_o live_v so_o distract_v and_o diffuse_v without_o use_v mental_a prayer_n and_o see_v withal_o that_o he_o conceive_v i_o to_o be_v still_o the_o very_a same_o that_o i_o have_v be_v before_o i_o be_v not_o able_a to_o endure_v to_o live_v without_o undeceaving_a he_o for_o i_o have_v then_o be_v a_o year_n and_o more_o without_o mental_a prayer_n as_o think_v it_o more_o humility_n for_o i_o to_o abstain_v and_o this_o as_o i_o shall_v declare_v afterward_o be_v the_o great_a and_o worst_a temptation_n that_o ever_o i_o have_v for_o by_o this_o mean_n iranne_n headlong_o upon_o my_o total_a ruin_n whereas_o when_o i_o frequent_v prayer_n if_o i_o offend_v god_n one_o day_n i_o return_v to_o recollect_v myself_o upon_o another_o and_o so_o to_o absent_v myself_o from_o the_o occasion_n but_o that_o bless_a man_n my_o father_n come_v to_o see_v i_o in_o such_o state_n as_o this_o it_o be_v too_o much_o for_o i_o as_o i_o be_v say_v to_o let_v he_o walk_v on_o so_o far_o in_o error_n as_o to_o think_v that_o i_o still_o converse_v with_o god_n in_o prayer_n as_o former_o i_o have_v do_v and_o so_o i_o tell_v he_o then_o that_o i_o do_v no_o long_o use_v mental_a prayer_n though_o yet_o i_o do_v not_o tell_v he_o the_o cause_n thereof_o but_o i_o allege_v my_o infirmity_n for_o the_o reason_n and_o that_o although_o i_o be_v recover_v of_o the_o main_n sickness_n i_o have_v yet_o disease_n yea_o and_o very_o great_a one_o still_o and_o that_o although_o of_o late_a they_o have_v not_o assault_v i_o with_o so_o very_a great_a fierceness_n as_o before_o yet_o they_o fail_v not_o still_o to_o continue_v and_o to_o exercise_v i_o also_o in_o many_o kind_n in_o particular_a that_o i_o have_v certain_a vomit_n for_o twenty_o year_n together_o every_o morning_n in_o such_o sort_n as_o that_o i_o can_v never_o break_v my_o fast_n till_o noon_n be_v past_a yea_o and_o
sometime_o not_o so_o soon_o and_o since_o of_o late_a i_o be_o grow_v able_a to_o receive_v the_o b._n sacrament_n more_o often_o it_o proceed_v from_o this_o that_o these_o vomit_v come_v to_o i_o at_o night_n before_o i_o go_v to_o bed_n and_o they_o put_v i_o to_o much_o more_o pain_n and_o then_o i_o must_v procure_v to_o hasten_v and_o facilitate_v they_o by_o the_o use_n of_o feather_n and_o such_o other_o thing_n because_o if_o i_o have_v not_o those_o vomit_n the_o sickness_n which_o i_o feel_v be_v extreme_a but_o indeed_o i_o be_o i_o think_v almost_o never_o without_o many_o kind_n of_o pain_n and_o sometime_o they_o be_v very_o sharp_a one_o and_o especial_o at_o my_o very_a hart_n though_o yet_o withal_o it_o be_v also_o true_a that_o the_o cruel_a palsy_n and_o other_o infirmity_n of_o fever_n which_o be_v wont_a to_o come_v very_o thick_a upon_o i_o be_v now_o find_v to_o oppress_v i_o more_o seldom_o so_o that_o many_o time_n i_o be_o well_o in_o those_o respect_n and_o i_o have_v make_v so_o little_a account_n of_o these_o misery_n for_o these_o eight_o year_n together_o that_o sometime_o i_o be_o even_o glad_a i_o have_v they_o as_o conceave_a that_o our_o lord_n may_v be_v peradventure_o serve_v in_o some_o sort_n thereby_o this_o be_v my_o discourse_n and_o now_o my_o father_n believe_v that_o this_o which_o i_o tell_v he_o here_o be_v indeed_o the_o true_a cause_n of_o my_o omission_n for_o himself_o never_o use_v to_o lie_v and_o consider_v in_o what_o sort_n and_o of_o what_o matter_n i_o be_v then_o discourse_v to_o he_o he_o have_v no_o reason_n to_o think_v but_o that_o i_o say_v true_a and_o to_o the_o end_n that_o he_o may_v believe_v i_o the_o better_a i_o tell_v he_o also_o then_o that_o i_o well_o see_v myself_o not_o to_o be_v without_o some_o fault_n and_o that_o i_o have_v enough_o to_o do_v to_o be_v able_a to_o assist_v in_o the_o choir_n though_o yet_o in_o very_a deed_n even_o this_o reason_n of_o corporal_a sickness_n be_v no_o sufficient_a cause_n to_o make_v i_o give_v any_o good_a thing_n over_o for_o there_o be_v no_o need_n of_o corporal_a strength_n for_o such_o thing_n as_o these_o but_o only_o of_o love_n and_o custom_n since_o our_o lord_n afford_v we_o always_o opportunity_n if_o we_o will_v ourselves_o i_o say_v always_o because_o though_o infirmity_n and_o other_o occasion_n my_o hinder_v one_o sometime_o from_o spend_v many_o hour_n in_o solitude_n yet_o there_o will_v not_o want_v some_o other_o time_n wherein_o we_o may_v have_v health_n enough_o for_o this_o business_n yea_o and_o even_o in_o other_o occasion_n as_o also_o in_o the_o midst_n of_o sickness_n itself_o the_o true_a prayer_n may_v be_v make_v since_o it_o be_v the_o soul_n which_o love_v by_o offer_v up_o that_o pain_n to_o almighty_a god_n and_o in_o remember_v for_o who_o it_o be_v endure_v and_o in_o conform_v one_o self_n to_o god_n holy_a will_n therein_o and_o in_o a_o thousand_o such_o other_o thing_n as_o will_v occur_v and_o thus_o may_v one_o exercise_v love_n for_o there_o be_v no_o necessity_n at_o all_o for_o a_o person_n either_o to_o be_v in_o solitude_n or_o else_o that_o there_o must_v be_v no_o mental_a prayer_n at_o all_o if_o we_o will_v take_v a_o little_a care_n we_o may_v arrive_v to_o obtain_v great_a blessing_n at_o those_o time_n when_o our_o lord_n even_o take_v time_n for_o prayer_n from_o we_o by_o mean_n of_o our_o sickness_n and_o pain_n and_o myself_o have_v find_v this_o to_o be_v true_a as_o long_o as_o my_o conscience_n be_v pure_a and_o good_a but_o my_o father_n through_o the_o opinion_n which_o he_o hold_v of_o i_o and_o the_o love_n he_o bear_v i_o believe_v all_o that_o i_o have_v say_v or_o rather_o he_o not_o only_o believe_v but_o have_v also_o pity_n of_o i_o though_o yet_o be_v then_o grow_v to_o find_v himself_o in_o so_o eminent_a and_o high_a a_o state_n of_o spiritual_a life_n he_o remain_v not_o with_o i_o very_o long_o and_o therefore_o have_v visit_v i_o he_o return_v home_o as_o hold_v his_o stay_n there_o to_o be_v loss_n of_o time_n and_o i_o who_o be_v willing_a to_o spend_v it_o upon_o other_o vanity_n be_v not_o trouble_v very_o much_o at_o his_o departure_n it_o be_v not_o only_o with_o he_o but_o with_o other_o person_n also_o who_o i_o procure_v that_o they_o shall_v addict_v themselves_o to_o mental_a prayer_n even_o whilst_o i_o be_v walk_v on_o in_o those_o vanity_n for_o still_o as_o i_o find_v they_o apt_a to_o use_v vocal_a prayer_n i_o tell_v they_o how_o they_o shall_v grow_v to_o have_v the_o use_n of_o meditation_n and_o i_o do_v they_o good_a and_o give_v they_o book_n for_o i_o have_v still_o a_o good_a desire_n that_o other_o shall_v serve_v almighty_a god_n even_o from_o the_o very_a first_o time_n that_o i_o use_v mental_a prayer_n as_o i_o have_v relate_v here_o it_o seem_v to_o i_o that_o since_o now_o i_o serve_v not_o our_o lord_n myself_o so_o well_o as_o i_o shall_v yet_o i_o like_v not_o that_o that_o light_n shall_v be_v lose_v which_o his_o divine_a majesty_n have_v bestow_v upon_o i_o but_o that_o other_o might_n also_o serve_v he_o by_o my_o mean_n and_o this_o i_o here_o recount_v that_o so_o the_o great_a blindness_n wherein_o i_o be_v may_v be_v the_o better_o see_v which_o induce_v i_o to_o make_v i_o loose_v myself_o whilst_o yet_o i_o go_v procure_v to_o do_v good_a to_o other_o about_o this_o time_n my_o father_n fall_v into_o the_o sickness_n whereof_o he_o die_v short_o after_o but_o i_o go_v to_o attend_v and_o recover_v he_o whilst_o myself_o be_v more_o sick_a in_o soul_n than_o he_o be_v in_o body_n through_o many_o vanity_n of_o i_o though_o yet_o not_o in_o such_o sort_n as_o that_o according_a to_o my_o understanding_n i_o be_v in_o mortal_a sin_n even_o in_o all_o this_o worst_a &_o wicked_a time_n whereof_o i_o speak_v for_o certain_o if_o i_o have_v conceive_v otherwise_o i_o shall_v by_o no_o mean_n have_v continue_v therein_o i_o endure_v some_o affliction_n and_o trouble_v in_o his_o sickness_n and_o i_o think_v i_o also_o make_v he_o some_o part_n of_o poor_a amends_o for_o the_o pain_n which_o he_o have_v take_v with_o i_o in_o i_o for_o now_o be_v ill_a enough_o in_o myself_o i_o yet_o strain_v very_o hard_o to_o do_v he_o service_n and_o beside_o i_o well_o consider_v that_o by_o the_o only_o loss_n of_o he_o all_o my_o comfort_n and_o regalo_n be_v to_o be_v lose_v for_o it_o all_o be_v shut_v up_o in_o only_o he_o i_o animate_v myself_o also_o so_o much_o towards_z the_o not_o show_v he_o that_o i_o be_v in_o any_o pain_n and_o in_o continue_v so_o even_o till_o he_o expire_v as_o if_o i_o have_v feel_v no_o trouble_n at_o all_o though_o yet_o it_o be_v very_o true_a that_o when_o i_o see_v he_o come_v to_o be_v upon_o the_o very_a point_n to_o loose_v his_o life_n it_o seem_v to_o i_o as_o if_o my_o own_o very_a soul_n have_v then_o be_v tear_v out_o of_o my_o body_n for_o i_o love_v he_o much_o it_o be_v a_o thing_n to_o make_v our_o lord_n be_v high_o praise_v to_o see_v the_o death_n which_o my_o father_n die_v together_o with_o the_o desire_n which_o he_o also_o have_v to_o die_v and_o the_o counsel_n which_o he_o give_v we_o after_o he_o have_v receive_v extreme_a unction_n and_o how_o he_o charge_v we_o to_o recommend_v he_o to_o god_n and_o that_o we_o shall_v beg_v mercy_n of_o he_o for_o his_o soul_n and_o that_o we_o must_v serve_v he_o ever_o and_o consider_v that_o all_o this_o world_n must_v come_v to_o end_v with_o tear_n he_o also_o tell_v we_o how_o sad_a he_o be_v at_o the_o hart_n for_o not_o have_v serve_v his_o divine_a majesty_n better_o that_o he_o wish_v he_o be_v some_o religious_a man_n i_o mean_v that_o he_o have_v be_v so_o and_o that_o of_o the_o most_o strict_a who_o be_v in_o the_o world_n and_o i_o hold_v it_o for_o very_o certain_a that_o some_o fifteen_o day_n before_o our_o lord_n give_v he_o to_o understand_v that_o he_o be_v not_o to_o live_v because_o before_o that_o very_a time_n he_o do_v not_o think_v he_o be_v sick_a though_o yet_o he_o be_v so_o in_o good_a earnest_n but_o afterward_o though_o he_o seem_v to_o mend_v much_o in_o point_n of_o health_n and_o though_o the_o doctor_n bid_v he_o believe_v that_o there_o be_v no_o danger_n at_o all_o yet_o he_o make_v no_o account_n of_o that_o but_o only_o attend_v to_o put_v his_o soul_n in_o good_a order_n that_o sickness_n of_o he_o begin_v with_o a_o very_a grievous_a pain_n round_o about_o his_o shoulder_n which_o never_o leave_v he_o and_o sometime_o it_o press_v he_o
i_o to_o see_v a_o soul_n so_o pertinacious_a and_o so_o ungrateful_a towards_o he_o who_o have_v vouchsafe_v it_o so_o great_a favour_n and_o i_o wish_v i_o can_v get_v leave_n to_o declare_v that_o multitude_n of_o time_n that_o i_o fail_v of_o my_o obligation_n to_o almighty_a god_n in_o this_o number_n of_o year_n by_o reason_n that_o i_o be_v not_o apply_v to_o and_o support_v by_o the_o strong_a pillar_n of_o prayer_n i_o pass_v through_o this_o tempestuous_a sea_n almost_o twenty_o year_n between_o these_o fall_n and_o rise_n though_o i_o rise_v ilfavourd_o enough_o since_o i_o return_v again_o so_o quick_o to_o fall_v in_o this_o kind_n of_o life_n tend_v towards_o perfection_n but_o yet_o in_o so_o base_a a_o way_n as_o that_o i_o make_v no_o account_n at_o all_o of_o venial_a danger_n sin_n and_o for_o such_o as_o be_v mortal_a it_o be_v true_a that_o although_o i_o fear_v they_o yet_o i_o do_v not_o even_o that_o as_o i_o ought_v since_o i_o absent_v not_o myself_o from_o the_o danger_n thereof_o but_o i_o will_v be_v bold_a to_o say_v that_o it_o be_v one_o of_o the_o most_o painful_a kind_n of_o life_n that_o can_v possible_o be_v imagine_v for_o i_o neither_o enjoy_v the_o sweetness_n of_o god_n nor_o yet_o the_o satisfaction_n of_o the_o world_n when_o i_o find_v myself_o in_o the_o contentment_n of_o the_o world_n the_o remembrance_n of_o what_o i_o owe_v to_o god_n give_v i_o pain_n and_o whilst_o i_o be_v converse_v with_o his_o divine_a majesty_n the_o inclination_n &_o affection_n of_o the_o world_n give_v i_o disquiet_n and_o this_o be_v a_o kind_n of_o war_n so_o very_o painful_a that_o i_o know_v not_o how_o it_o be_v possible_a for_o i_o to_o find_v mean_n to_o endure_v it_o for_o one_o month_n and_o much_o more_o how_o i_o can_v do_v it_o for_o so_o many_o year_n notwithstanding_o that_o i_o yet_o clear_o see_v the_o great_a mercy_n which_o almighty_a god_n show_v i_o herein_o since_o i_o be_v to_o treat_v of_o many_o thing_n in_o the_o world_n that_o still_o i_o shall_v have_v the_o courage_n to_o give_v myself_o to_o prayer_n i_o say_v courage_n for_o as_o for_o i_o i_o see_v not_o what_o one_o thing_n there_o be_v of_o so_o many_o as_o be_v to_o be_v find_v in_o the_o whole_a world_n wherein_o there_o be_v need_n of_o a_o great_a then_o to_o treat_v of_o commit_v treason_n against_o a_o king_n and_o to_o know_v that_o he_o know_v it_o well_o and_o yet_o never_o to_o go_v out_o of_o his_o presence_n for_o howsoever_o it_o be_v very_o true_a that_o we_o be_v always_o in_o the_o presence_n of_o almighty_a god_n yet_o i_o think_v that_o they_o who_o converse_n with_o he_o in_o prayer_n be_v in_o his_o presence_n after_o a_o more_o particular_a manner_n for_o they_o be_v see_v then_o that_o he_o see_v they_o whereas_o other_o may_v perhaps_o remain_v some_o day_n in_o his_o presence_n and_o yet_o without_o remember_v that_o he_o look_v upon_o they_o true_a it_o be_v that_o within_o that_o time_n there_o be_v i_o believe_v many_o month_n and_o sometime_o peradventure_o a_o whole_a year_n that_o i_o keep_v myself_o from_o offend_v our_o lord_n and_o give_v myself_o much_o to_o mental_a prayer_n and_o i_o also_o use_v some_o yea_o and_o many_o diligence_n that_o i_o may_v never_o grow_v more_o to_o offend_v he_o and_o because_o all_o that_o which_o i_o write_v now_o be_v to_o be_v deliver_v with_o entirenes_n of_o truth_n i_o declare_v myself_o here_o as_o you_o see_v but_o i_o remember_v little_a of_o those_o good_a day_n and_o therefore_o it_o may_v be_v think_v they_o be_v few_o and_o the_o ill_a one_o many_o yet_o few_o of_o those_o few_o pass_v away_o without_o my_o allow_v a_o good_a long_a time_n for_o prayer_n unless_o i_o be_v either_o very_o sick_a or_o extreme_o busy_a the_o worse_a i_o be_v in_o my_o health_n the_o more_o i_o be_v unite_v with_o god_n and_o i_o procure_v that_o such_o person_n as_o use_v to_o be_v with_o i_o at_o those_o time_n may_v be_v so_o too_o and_o i_o beg_v it_o of_o our_o lord_n and_o we_o speak_v very_o often_o of_o he_o and_o so_o unless_o it_o be_v that_o one_o year_n of_o which_o i_o have_v speak_v in_o eight_o and_o twenty_o year_n which_o have_v pass_v since_o i_o begin_v first_o to_o use_v mental_a prayer_n i_o have_v endure_v this_o battle_n and_o strife_n of_o treat_v both_o with_o god_n and_o the_o world_n more_o than_o eighteen_o year_n in_o those_o other_o year_n whereof_o i_o be_o yet_o to_o speak_v the_o cause_n of_o the_o war_n be_v change_v though_o of_o itself_o it_o be_v no_o inconsiderable_a thing_n but_o in_o regard_n that_o i_o be_v then_o as_o i_o conceive_v in_o the_o service_n of_o almighty_a god_n and_o in_o a_o knowledge_n of_o the_o vanity_n of_o whatsoever_o this_o world_n can_v be_v it_o do_v all_o prove_v delightful_a and_o pleasant_a as_o i_o will_v show_v hereafter_o now_o the_o reason_n why_o i_o have_v relate_v all_o this_o be_v first_o as_o i_o be_v say_v before_o to_o the_o end_n that_o the_o mercy_n of_o almighty_a god_n together_o with_o my_o ingratitude_n may_v be_v well_o discern_v and_o second_o that_o it_o may_v be_v also_o understand_v how_o great_a a_o blessing_n almighty_a god_n do_v to_o that_o soul_n which_o he_o dispose_v to_o use_v mental_a prayer_n with_o a_o good_a affection_n and_o will_v though_o yet_o it_o shall_v not_o be_v so_o very_o well_o dispose_v for_o it_o as_o be_v fit_a for_o in_o fine_a if_o he_o persevere_v therein_o what_o sin_n soever_o he_o commit_v and_o whatsoever_o temptation_n be_v offer_v and_o whatsoever_o fall_v be_v give_v he_o in_o a_o thousand_o strange_a fashion_n by_o the_o devil_n often_o i_o hold_v in_o fine_a for_o certain_a that_o our_o lord_n will_v draw_v he_o at_o length_n out_o of_o the_o storm_n into_o the_o port_n of_o salvation_n as_o now_o by_o all_o appearance_n he_o have_v draw_v i_o and_o i_o humble_o beseech_v his_o divine_a majesty_n that_o i_o may_v never_o return_v again_o to_o be_v lose_v many_o holy_a and_o good_a man_n have_v write_v of_o the_o benefit_n which_o he_o obtain_v who_o exercise_v himself_o in_o prayer_n i_o mean_v mental_a prayer_n and_o glory_n be_v to_o almighty_a god_n for_o be_v the_o cause_n thereof_o and_o yet_o if_o that_o be_v not_o true_a though_o i_o have_v little_a humility_n yet_o be_o i_o not_o withal_o so_o insolent_a as_o that_o i_o will_v presume_v to_o speak_v upon_o this_o subject_n but_o of_o that_o whereof_o i_o have_v some_o experience_n i_o may_v vet_n presume_v to_o say_v somewhat_o and_o it_o be_v this_o that_o whosoever_o have_v begin_v to_o frequent_v the_o use_n of_o prayer_n i_o wish_v he_o not_o to_o give_v it_o over_o whatsoever_o sin_n he_o commit_v in_o the_o mean_a time_n since_o this_o be_v the_o mean_n by_o which_o he_o may_v recover_v himself_o again_o which_o he_o will_v find_v to_o be_v of_o much_o more_o difficulty_n without_o it_o and_o let_v not_o the_o devil_n tempt_v he_o to_o leave_v it_o as_o he_o do_v i_o upon_o a_o pretence_n of_o humility_n but_o let_v he_o firm_o believe_v that_o his_o word_n can_v never_o want_v truth_n who_o say_v that_o if_o we_o will_v repent_v ourselves_o in_o good_a earnest_n and_o resolve_v to_o offend_v the_o divine_a majesty_n no_o more_o he_o restore_v we_o to_o the_o same_o friendship_n which_o we_o have_v before_o with_o he_o and_o do_v we_o the_o same_o favour_n which_o he_o do_v we_o before_o and_o sometime_o they_o prove_v to_o be_v much_o great_a if_o the_o repentance_n deserve_v it_o and_o whosoever_o have_v not_o yet_o begin_v this_o exercise_n i_o beseech_v he_o for_o the_o love_n of_o our_o lord_n that_o he_o will_v no_o long_o deprive_v himself_o of_o so_o great_a a_o benefit_n there_o be_v nothing_o to_o be_v fear_v here_o but_o much_o to_o be_v desire_v for_o though_o a_o man_n shall_v not_o proceed_v so_o far_o as_o to_o strive_v to_o gain_v such_o perfection_n as_o may_v prepare_v and_o as_o it_o be_v deserve_v those_o gust_n and_o regalo_n which_o god_n be_v wont_a to_o give_v to_o such_o person_n yet_o the_o least_o which_o he_o shall_v get_v will_v be_v that_o he_o shall_v be_v go_v on_o in_o the_o way_n to_o heaven_n and_o i_o know_v so_o much_o of_o the_o mercy_n of_o almighty_a god_n that_o i_o may_v conclude_v for_o certain_a enough_o that_o no_o body_n ever_o take_v he_o for_o a_o friend_n who_o he_o do_v not_o well_o requite_v for_o his_o pain_n for_o mental_a prayer_n be_v no_o other_o thing_n in_o my_o opinion_n than_o a_o treaty_n about_o make_v friendship_n with_o almighty_a god_n and_o a_o frequent_a and_o private_a commerce_n hand_n to_o hand_n with_o he_o by_o
in_o the_o garden_n it_o be_v to_o my_o think_n as_o if_o our_o lord_n have_v make_v it_o to_o be_v utter_v for_o i_o so_o quick_a be_v that_o sense_n which_o i_o have_v thereof_o in_o my_o hart_n and_o i_o be_v for_o a_o very_a great_a while_n even_o dissolve_v as_o it_o be_v in_o tear_n and_o feel_v a_o great_a affliction_n and_o vexation_n o_o my_o dear_a lord_n howmuch_o do_v a_o soul_n grow_v to_o suffer_v and_o what_o torment_n do_v it_o endure_v for_o the_o lose_n of_o her_o liberty_n while_o yet_o she_o be_v create_v and_o ordain_v to_o be_v the_o lady_n of_o herself_o and_o to_o command_v for_o my_o part_n i_o be_o in_o a_o wonder_n how_o i_o can_v be_v able_a to_o endure_v so_o great_a torment_n but_o bless_v be_v almighty_a god_n who_o give_v i_o life_n till_o i_o may_v get_v out_o of_o that_o so_o deadly_a a_o death_n and_o now_o i_o think_v my_o soul_n be_v obtain_v great_a strength_n at_o the_o hand_n of_o that_o divine_a majesty_n and_o that_o now_o he_o may_v grow_v to_o be_v please_v to_o hear_v my_o outcry_n and_o have_v compassion_n of_o my_o so_o many_o tear_n upon_o this_o my_o affection_n to_o spend_v more_o time_n with_o he_o begin_v to_o increase_v and_o to_o take_v myself_o also_o out_o of_o the_o way_n of_o ill_a occasion_n for_o when_o they_o once_o be_v go_v i_o begin_v to_o love_v his_o divine_a majesty_n again_o at_o least_o i_o think_v i_o may_v conclude_v myself_o then_o to_o love_v he_o but_o the_o truth_n be_v that_o i_o understand_v not_o as_o i_o ought_v to_o have_v understand_v in_o what_o the_o true_a love_n of_o god_n do_v consist_v and_o to_o the_o best_a that_o i_o be_o able_a to_o judge_v i_o do_v even_o scarce_o make_v a_o end_n of_o dispose_v myself_o final_o to_o resolve_v to_o serve_v he_o when_o his_o divine_a majesty_n begin_v already_o to_o vouchsafe_v i_o new_a regalos_n and_o favour_n and_o it_o seem_v that_o what_o other_o must_v be_v glad_a to_o endeavour_v to_o get_v with_o much_o labour_n our_o lord_n be_v fain_o to_o find_v mean_n to_o make_v i_o content_a to_o accept_v which_o be_v in_o these_o latter_a year_n to_o delight_v and_o regale_n i_o in_o great_a measure_n i_o never_o presume_v to_o desire_v that_o he_o will_v give_v i_o even_o so_o much_o as_o any_o tenderness_n of_o devotion_n but_o i_o only_o beg_v so_o great_a mercy_n as_o may_v win_v he_o to_o allow_v i_o pardon_v for_o my_o sin_n already_o commit_v and_o so_o much_o grace_n as_o that_o i_o may_v commit_v no_o more_o but_o i_o see_v how_o great_a they_o be_v dare_v never_o advise_o desire_v any_o regalo_n or_o spiritual_a delight_n at_o his_o hand_n for_o i_o think_v he_o show_v i_o pity_n enough_o and_o it_o be_v real_o a_o very_a eminent_a mercy_n to_o consent_v that_o i_o shall_v arrive_v to_o be_v in_o his_o presence_n consider_v how_o well_o i_o know_v that_o if_o himself_o have_v not_o procure_v it_o i_o shall_v never_o have_v come_v only_o once_o in_o my_o whole_a life_n i_o remember_v that_o whilst_o i_o be_v in_o great_a dryness_n of_o devotion_n i_o desire_v he_o to_o give_v i_o some_o little_a spiritual_a gust_n but_o as_o soon_o as_o i_o reflect_v upon_o what_o i_o have_v do_v i_o remain_v so_o full_a of_o confusion_n by_o it_o that_o the_o only_o vexation_n i_o have_v to_o see_v myself_o with_o so_o little_a humility_n do_v give_v i_o that_o very_a advantage_n which_o i_o have_v presume_v to_o beg_v i_o be_v not_o ignorant_a that_o it_o may_v be_v no_o way_n a_o unlawful_a thing_n to_o desire_v it_o but_o i_o conceive_v that_o this_o be_v true_a for_o they_o who_o be_v well_o dispose_v to_o receive_v it_o by_o their_o have_v procure_v true_a devotion_n with_o all_o their_o power_n which_o consist_v in_o not_o offend_v almighty_a god_n and_o in_o be_v incline_v and_o resolve_v to_o do_v all_o that_o which_o be_v good_a and_o i_o think_v those_o tear_n of_o i_o be_v but_o faint_a and_o feminine_a tear_n and_o without_o any_o force_n or_o strength_n since_o i_o obtain_v not_o that_o by_o they_o which_o i_o desire_v though_o yet_o upon_o the_o whole_a matter_n i_o also_o believe_v that_o they_o be_v useful_a to_o i_o as_o i_o have_v say_v for_o in_o particular_a after_o those_o two_o several_a time_n of_o that_o so_o great_a compunction_n and_o travail_v of_o hart_n which_o i_o have_v i_o begin_v to_o give_v myself_o more_o to_o prayer_n and_o to_o interest_n myself_o less_a in_o such_o thing_n as_o may_v do_v i_o hurt_v though_o yet_o i_o do_v not_o utter_o give_v they_o over_o but_o god_n as_o i_o be_v say_v go_v help_v i_o to_o withdraw_v myself_o out_o of_o those_o danger_n for_o his_o divine_a majesty_n do_v but_o expect_v some_o preparation_n or_o disposition_n in_o i_o that_o so_o his_o spiritual_a favour_n may_v grow_v on_o in_o such_o sort_n as_o i_o shall_v relate_v our_o lord_n be_v not_o accustom_v to_o grant_v they_o but_o to_o such_o as_o maintain_v their_o conscience_n in_o more_o purity_n then_o i_o have_v former_o possess_v the_o ten_o chapter_n she_o begin_v to_o declare_v the_o favour_n which_o our_o lord_n do_v she_o in_o prayer_n and_o speak_v of_o that_o wherein_o we_o may_v be_v able_a to_o help_v ourselves_o and_o how_o much_o it_o also_o import_v we_o to_o understand_v the_o say_v favour_n which_o our_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o do_v us._n she_o humble_o desire_v of_o he_o to_o who_o she_o send_v this_o account_n of_o herself_o that_o whatsoever_o she_o shall_v declare_v from_o hence_o forward_o may_v remain_v in_o secret_a with_o he_o since_o he_o have_v command_v she_o to_o set_v down_o in_o so_o particular_a a_o manner_n the_o favour_n which_o our_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o do_v she_o i_o enjoy_v sometime_o as_o i_o say_v some_o beginning_n of_o that_o which_o i_o shall_v now_o declare_v though_o it_o use_v to_o pass_v away_o very_o quick_o it_o fall_v out_o in_o this_o representation_n whereof_o i_o speak_v when_o i_o place_v myself_o near_o christ_n our_o lord_n yea_o and_o sometime_o also_o when_o i_o will_v be_v read_v that_o there_o will_v come_v sudden_o upon_o i_o and_o without_o either_o expectation_n or_o any_o immediate_a preparation_n on_o my_o part_n such_o a_o evident_a feel_n of_o the_o favour_n presence_n of_o almighty_a god_n as_o that_o i_o can_v by_o no_o mean_n doubt_n but_o that_o either_o he_o be_v within_o i_o or_o else_o i_o all_o ingulfed_a in_o he_o this_o be_v not_o in_o the_o manner_n of_o a_o vision_n but_o i_o think_v they_o call_v it_o mystical_a theology_n and_o it_o suspend_v the_o soul_n in_o such_o sort_n that_o she_o seem_v to_o be_v whole_o out_o of_o herself_o the_o will_n be_v in_o act_n of_o love_a the_o memory_n seem_v to_o i_o to_o be_v in_o a_o manner_n lose_v the_o understanding_n in_o my_o opinion_n it_o discourse_v not_o &_o although_o it_o be_v not_o lose_v yet_o it_o work_v not_o in_o that_o kind_n as_o i_o be_v say_v but_o remain_v as_o it_o be_v amazed_z to_o consider_v how_o much_o it_o understand_v though_o yet_o it_o please_v god_n that_o it_o understand_v itself_o also_o not_o to_o understand_v full_o any_o part_n of_o that_o which_o his_o divine_a majesty_n represent_v to_o it_o before_o this_o time_n i_o have_v be_v use_v to_o find_v a_o very_a constant_a and_o continual_a tenderness_n or_o sweetness_n which_o i_o think_v may_v in_o some_o part_n be_v procure_v and_o it_o be_v a_o regalo_n which_o be_v neither_o whole_o sensual_a nor_o whole_o spiritual_a but_o it_o be_v whole_o the_o gift_n and_o blessing_n of_o almighty_a god_n and_o it_o seem_v that_o we_o may_v great_o help_v towards_o the_o obtain_n this_o for_o ourselves_o by_o consider_v our_o own_o baseness_n and_o the_o ingratitude_n which_o we_o use_v towards_o almighty_a god_n how_o much_o he_o do_v for_o we_o his_o passion_n and_o grievous_a torment_n his_o whole_a life_n which_o be_v so_o full_a of_o affliction_n to_o delight_v ourselves_o in_o consider_v his_o work_n and_o his_o greatness_n &_o how_o much_o he_o love_v we_o and_o many_o other_o such_o thing_n as_o these_o upon_o which_o whosoever_o shall_v have_v care_n to_o profit_n will_v be_v able_a to_o fall_v many_o time_n though_o yet_o he_o have_v just_a then_o no_o particular_a design_n that_o way_n and_o if_o together_o with_o these_o reflection_n the_o party_n fall_v out_o to_o be_v possess_v and_o seize_v with_o any_o love_n of_o almighty_a god_n the_o soul_n will_v be_v all_o regale_v the_o hart_n will_v be_v full_a of_o tenderness_n and_o relent_a and_o tear_n will_v also_o abound_v which_o sometime_o we_o shall_v seem_v to_o have_v get_v as_o it_o be_v by_o force_n and_o at_o other_o time_n
what_o i_o be_v before_o and_o this_o do_v i_o entreat_v your_o reverence_n that_o you_o will_v beg_v of_o our_o b._n lord_n for_o i_o since_o you_o know_v with_o more_o clearness_n what_o i_o be_o than_o here_o you_o have_v give_v i_o leave_v to_o express_v the_o eleaventh_n chapter_n she_o declare_v in_o what_o the_o fault_n consist_v of_o not_o obtain_v to_o love_n god_n with_o perfection_n in_o short_a time_n she_o begin_v to_o deliver_v it_o by_o a_o comparison_n which_o contain_v four_o degree_n of_o prayer_n and_o she_o treat_v here_o of_o the_o first_o which_o be_v very_o profitable_a for_o beginner_n and_o for_o they_o also_o who_o have_v no_o sensible_a delight_n or_o gust_n in_o prayer_n now_o to_o speak_v of_o they_o who_o begin_v to_o be_v servant_n of_o our_o bless_a lord_n for_o love_n and_o to_o i_o it_o seem_v to_o be_v nothing_o else_o to_o resolve_v to_o follow_v he_o by_o this_o way_n of_o prayer_n who_o love_v we_o so_o much_o i_o find_v it_o to_o be_v a_o thing_n of_o so_o great_a dignity_n that_o i_o regale_n myself_o after_o a_o strange_a manner_n even_o by_o the_o very_a thought_n thereof_o for_o servile_a fear_n will_v instant_o fly_v away_o if_o we_o carry_v ourselves_o as_o we_o ought_v in_o this_o first_o degree_n of_o prayer_n o_o thou_o lord_n of_o my_o soul_n and_o my_o eternal_a good_a how_o come_v it_o to_o pass_v that_o when_o a_o soul_n resolve_v to_o love_v thou_o and_o to_o do_v the_o uttermost_a she_o can_v to_o leave_v all_o this_o world_n that_o so_o she_o may_v the_o better_o employ_v herself_o upon_o this_o love_n of_o thou_o thou_o be_v not_o please_v that_o she_o shall_v instant_o enjoy_v the_o get_n up_o to_o possess_v this_o perfect_a love_n but_o i_o have_v say_v ill_o for_o i_o ought_v indeed_o to_o have_v say_v that_o i_o complain_v against_o ourselves_o because_o it_o be_v we_o who_o will_v not_o possess_v it_o since_o all_o the_o fault_n be_v we_o for_o not_o instant_o obtain_v this_o true_a love_n of_o god_n with_o perfection_n which_o carry_v all_o kind_n of_o blessing_n in_o company_n thereof_o for_o the_o matter_n be_v that_o we_o set_v so_o high_a a_o price_n upon_o ourselves_o and_o we_o be_v withal_o so_o slow_a in_o give_v our_o heart_n impediment_n total_o to_o god_n that_o as_o his_o divine_a majesty_n on_o the_o one_o side_n will_v not_o permit_v that_o we_o shall_v enjoy_v so_o precious_a a_o thing_n without_o pay_v well_o for_o it_o so_o on_o the_o other_o we_o never_o make_v a_o end_n of_o dispose_v ourselves_o therein_o as_o we_o ought_v i_o be_o able_a to_o see_v well_o enough_o that_o there_o be_v nothing_o at_o all_o in_o this_o world_n with_o which_o so_o great_a a_o treasure_n can_v be_v buy_v but_o yet_o if_o we_o do_v indeed_o what_o we_o can_v by_o not_o fasten_v ourselves_o to_o any_o thing_n of_o this_o world_n but_o that_o all_o our_o care_n and_o consideration_n be_v sent-up_a to_o heaven_n i_o be_o confident_a that_o this_o blessing_n will_v be_v impart_v to_o we_o with_o very_o great_a speed_n if_o speedy_o and_o entire_o as_o i_o be_v say_v we_o dispose_v ourselves_o to_o the_o receive_v thereof_o as_o some_o saint_n have_v do_v but_o the_o misery_n be_v that_o we_o think_v we_o give_v god_n all_o and_o the_o truth_n be_v that_o we_o offer_v his_o divine_a majesty_n but_o the_o yearly_a rent_n or_o revenue_n and_o fruit_n ourselves_o remain_v still_o with_o the_o root_n and_o possession_n of_o the_o land_n we_o resolve_v to_o make_v ourselves_o poor_a for_o god_n sake_n and_o it_o be_v a_o point_n of_o great_a merit_n to_o do_v so_o but_o yet_o we_o return_v many_o time_n to_o take_v care_n and_o to_o use_v diligence_n enough_o that_o nothing_o may_v be_v want_v to_o we_o i_o say_v not_o of_o that_o which_o be_v necessary_a but_o sometime_o also_o even_o of_o that_o which_o be_v superfluous_a and_o to_o be_v procure_v also_o to_o make_v friend_n who_o may_v help_v we_o to_o it_o and_o so_o put_v we_o still_o into_o more_o care_n yea_o &_o perhaps_o into_o more_o danger_n too_o that_o so_o we_o may_v grow_v to_o want_v nothing_o then_o even_o we_o have_v before_o when_o we_o be_v the_o possessor_n of_o our_o own_o estate_n it_o seem_v also_o that_o when_o we_o come_v to_o be_v religious_a or_o as_o soon_o as_o we_o begin_v to_o lead_v a_o spiritual_a life_n and_o to_o aspire_v towards_o perfection_n we_o gave-ove_a to_o care_v for_o the_o honour_n of_o this_o world_n and_o yet_o as_o soon_o as_o ever_o any_o creature_n begin_v but_o to_o touch_v we_o in_o that_o kind_n we_o forget_v that_o we_o have_v already_o give_v it_o away_o to_o almighty_a god_n and_o we_o resolve_v sometime_o to_o snatch_v it_o again_o out_o of_o his_o hand_n and_o run_v away_o with_o it_o even_o after_o we_o seem_v to_o have_v voluntary_o make_v he_o the_o entire_a lord_n thereof_o and_o just_o thus_o do_v it_o also_o happen_v sometime_o in_o other_o thing_n now_o this_o indeed_o be_v a_o very_a delicate_a fine_a foolish_a ridiculous_a way_n of_o seek_v the_o love_n of_o almighty_a god_n when_o together_o with_o this_o pretence_n we_o will_v as_o a_o man_n may_v say_v have_v our_o hand_n still_o full_a of_o the_o same_o imperfect_a inclination_n and_o affection_n which_o we_o have_v before_o since_o we_o do_v not_o procure_v indeed_o to_o effect_v our_o own_o former_a good_a desire_n and_o still_o we_o endeavour_v not_o at_o length_n to_o raise_v they_o whole_o up_o from_o the_o earth_n and_o yet_o we_o will_v needs_o expect_v the_o while_n to_o enjoy_v many_o spiritual_a comfort_n and_o delight_n but_o this_o seem_v not_o to_o be_v of_o a_o suit_n nor_o do_v the_o one_o stuffe_n sit_v well_o with_o the_o other_o and_o therefore_o because_o we_o will_v not_o once_o resolve_v to_o give_v ourselves_o total_o up_o to_o almighty_a god_n we_o come_v not_o total_o to_o enjoy_v this_o treasure_n and_o i_o pray_v god_n it_o may_v please_v his_o divine_a majesty_n to_o vouchsafe_v to_o grant_v it_o to_o we_o though_o it_o shall_v be_v but_o by_o drop_n and_o drop_n and_o though_o it_o shall_v grow_v to_o cost_v we_o all_o the_o labour_n and_o trouble_n of_o the_o whole_a world_n a_o very_a great_a deal_n of_o mercy_n do_v our_o bless_a lord_n show_v to_o that_o person_n to_o who_o he_o give_v the_o firm_a purpose_n and_o grace_n to_o resolve_v upon_o procure_v this_o blessing_n with_o all_o his_o power_n for_o certain_o if_o such_o a_o one_o shall_v persevere_v almighty_a god_n will_v deny_v himself_o to_o no_o creature_n but_o will_v by_o little_a and_o little_a go_v enable_v that_o soul_n in_o such_o sort_n as_o that_o at_o length_n it_o shall_v find_v itself_o to_o be_v victorious_a but_o i_o say_v that_o the_o party_n must_v have_v courage_n because_o the_o devil_n do_v ordinary_o in_o the_o beginning_n dispose_v himself_o to_o represent_v yea_o and_o frame_v very_o great_a difficulty_n to_o the_o end_n that_o so_o we_o may_v not_o hold-on_a this_o way_n in_o good_a earnest_n as_o one_o who_o know_v very_o well_o what_o prejudice_n be_v like_a to_o grow_v to_o he_o by_o it_o not_o only_o through_o his_o lose_v the_o soul_n of_o that_o party_n but_o of_o many_o other_o also_o if_o he_o who_o begin_v to_o serve_v god_n endeavour_v once_o by_o his_o favour_n to_o arrive_v to_o the_o perfection_n thereof_o for_o i_o believe_v that_o such_o a_o one_o will_v never_o go_v alone_o to_o heaven_n but_o will_v carry_v very_o many_o with_o he_o and_o that_o like_o a_o good_a captain_n he_o shall_v find_v that_o god_n will_v give_v he_o a_o fair_a company_n so_o that_o since_o the_o devil_n will_v be_v sure_a to_o lay_v such_o danger_n and_o difficulty_n in_o his_o way_n there_o will_v be_v need_n of_o very_o great_a courage_n and_o resolution_n to_o keep_v one_o from_o run_v away_o yea_o and_o also_o there_o will_v be_v need_n of_o much_o and_o much_o and_o very_o much_o favour_n and_o mercy_n of_o almighty_a god_n for_o this_o purpose_n now_o therefore_o to_o speak_v of_o the_o beginning_n of_o such_o as_o be_v already_o resolve_v to_o go_v in_o search_n after_o so_o great_a a_o blessing_n and_o to_o obtain_v what_o they_o aspire_v to_o in_o the_o end_n for_o as_o for_o that_o whereof_o i_o be_v go_v once_o to_o speak_v concern_v mystical_a theology_n for_o so_o i_o think_v it_o be_v call_v i_o will_v treat_v thereof_o afterward_o the_o great_a and_o great_a trouble_n consist_v ever_o in_o these_o very_a beginning_n for_o those_o be_v they_o which_o cost_v most_o when_o a_o soul_n come_v to_o give_v our_o lord_n the_o whole_a stock_n and_o in_o the_o other_o degree_n of_o prayer_n which_o follow_v the_o most_o part_n of_o that_o which_o pass_v be_v
any_o because_o then_o our_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o multiply_v our_o virtue_n by_o that_o mean_n the_o twelve_o chapter_n she_o prosecute_v her_o discourse_n of_o the_o first_o state_n or_o degree_n of_o prayer_n and_o declare_v how_o far_o we_o may_v arrive_v of_o ourselves_o by_o the_o favour_n of_o our_o lord_n and_o of_o the_o hurt_n it_o bring_v to_o desire_v that_o our_o spirit_n may_v rise_v to_o supernatural_a and_o extraordinary_a thing_n till_o our_o lord_n himself_o be_v please_v to_o ordain_v it_o that_o which_o i_o pretend_v to_o give_v to_o be_v understand_v in_o the_o last_o chapter_n though_o yet_o i_o divert_v myself_o much_o upon_o other_o thing_n in_o regard_n that_o i_o think_v they_o very_o necessary_a be_v to_o declare_v how_o much_o we_o may_v be_v able_a to_o acquire_v and_o how_o in_o this_o first_o part_n of_o our_o devotion_n we_o may_v to_o some_o proportion_n help_v ourselves_o because_o the_o consider_v and_o ruminate_v upon_o that_o which_o our_o lord_n suffer_v for_o we_o be_v wont_a to_o move_v we_o to_o compassion_n and_o the_o sorrow_n and_o tear_n which_o grow_v from_o thence_o be_v a_o very_a savoury_a and_o delightful_a kind_n of_o thing_n and_o so_o to_o think_v of_o the_o glory_n for_o which_o we_o hope_v and_o of_o the_o love_n which_o our_o lord_n bear_v we_o as_o also_o of_o his_o resurrection_n move_v we_o to_o joy_n which_o be_v neither_o whole_o spiritual_a nor_o whole_o sensual_a but_o this_o be_v a_o virtuous_a kind_n of_o joy_n on_o the_o one_o side_n as_o on_o the_o other_o that_o former_a pain_n be_v very_o meritorious_a and_o of_o this_o sort_n be_v all_o those_o thing_n which_o cause_n any_o such_o devotion_n as_o be_v acquire_v in_o part_n by_o the_o understanding_n though_o yet_o there_o be_v no_o merit_n nor_o gain_v therein_o unless_o almighty_a god_n be_v please_v to_o give_v it_o but_o now_o it_o will_v be_v very_o fit_a for_o a_o soul_n which_o our_o lord_n have_v not_o raise_v any_o high_a not_o to_o procure_v to_o exalt_v herself_o and_o let_v this_o be_v very_o well_o note_v for_o the_o contrary_a course_n will_v help_v she_o to_o nothing_o but_o loss_n in_o this_o degree_n or_o state_n she_o may_v perform_v many_o good_a act_n by_o way_n of_o resolve_v to_o do_v great_a thing_n for_o almighty_a god_n and_o to_o awake_v and_o stirr-up_a her_o love_n and_o other_o also_o by_o way_n of_o assist_v herself_o to_o grow-up_a in_o several_a virtue_n according_a to_o what_o be_v contain_v in_o a_o certain_a book_n call_v the_o art_n of_o serve_v god_n which_o be_v a_o very_a good_a one_o and_o very_o proper_a for_o such_o as_o find_v themselves_o in_o this_o state_n because_o the_o understanding_n do_v act_n and_o exercise_v itself_o here_o she_o may_v also_o represent_v herself_o as_o in_o the_o presence_n of_o christ_n our_o lord_n and_o accustom_v herself_o to_o be_v great_o enamour_v with_o his_o most_o sacred_a humanity_n and_o to_o be_v ever_o carry_v that_o along_o in_o her_o company_n and_o to_o be_v often_o speak_v to_o it_o and_o to_o beg_v his_o continual_a assistance_n in_o all_o her_o necessity_n and_o even_o to_o complain_v to_o he_o of_o her_o affliction_n and_o to_o joy_v with_o he_o for_o her_o contentment_n and_o gust_n but_o yet_o not_o to_o forget_v he_o upon_o occasion_n thereof_o and_o all_o this_o without_o procure_v to_o express_v herself_o in_o any_o set_v kind_a of_o prayer_n but_o to_o make_v use_n of_o such_o word_n alone_o as_o may_v have_v conformity_n with_o her_o own_o necessity_n and_o desire_n this_o be_v a_o note_n excellent_a way_n of_o find_v profit_n and_o that_o in_o a_o very_a short_a time_n and_o whosoever_o shall_v earnest_o labour_v to_o carry_v this_o precious_a company_n with_o himself_o and_o shall_v have_v proceed_v well_o therein_o and_o shall_v have_v find_v the_o way_n of_o love_a in_o very_o good_a earnest_n this_o lord_n of_o we_o to_o who_o we_o owe_v so_o much_o i_o will_v give_v and_o pass_v my_o word_n that_o this_o person_n be_v a_o very_a good_a proficient_a for_o this_o purpose_n let_v it_o not_o trouble_v we_o a_o whitt_n not_o to_o find_v ourselves_o with_o sensible_a devotion_n as_o i_o have_v say_v but_o let_v we_o give_v thanks_n to_o our_o lord_n for_o give_v we_o so_o good_a desire_n to_o please_v he_o though_o our_o work_n be_v weak_a this_o way_n of_o carry_v christ_n our_o lord_n in_o our_o company_n be_v very_o useful_a in_o all_o the_o four_o state_n and_o degree_n of_o prayer_n it_o be_v a_o most_o secure_a and_o safe_a mean_n to_o go_v profit_v in_o the_o first_o degree_n and_o that_o we_o shall_v get_v quick_o to_o the_o second_o and_o then_o to_o be_v free_a also_o in_o the_o two_o last_o from_o those_o danger_n which_o the_o devil_n may_v provide_v for_o us._n for_o this_o in_o fine_a be_v that_o which_o we_o may_v be_v able_a to_o do_v and_o for_o any_o body_n to_o passe-up_a from_o hence_o and_o to_o exalt_v his_o spirit_n towards_o the_o feel_n of_o certain_a gust_n which_o be_v not_o allow_v he_o be_v but_o in_o my_o opinion_n to_o loose_v both_o the_o one_o and_o the_o other_o because_o in_o fine_a that_o be_v all_o supernatural_a and_o so_o the_o understanding_n be_v at_o a_o stand_v and_o lose_v the_o soul_n remain_v all_o desolate_a and_o with_o great_a dryness_n and_o since_o this_o whole_a building_n be_v ground_v upon_o humility_n the_o near_o we_o grow_v to_o almighty_a god_n the_o more_o shall_v we_o proceed_v and_o profit_n in_o this_o virtue_n and_o if_o we_o do_v not_o this_o all_o be_v lose_v and_o it_o seem_v to_o be_v no_o better_o than_o a_o kind_n of_o pride_n if_o we_o desire_v to_o get-up_a to_o a_o high_a rank_n since_o god_n do_v we_o but_o too_o much_o honour_n and_o favour_n consider_v how_o unworthy_a we_o be_v in_o suffer_v we_o to_o be_v so_o near_o to_o himself_o but_o now_o it_o must_v not_o be_v so_o understand_v as_o if_o i_o speak_v all_o this_o against_o raising-up_a our_o thought_n to_o consider_v the_o high_a thing_n of_o heaven_n or_o of_o god_n or_o of_o the_o greatness_n which_o be_v there_o above_o as_o also_o of_o his_o incomparable_a wisdom_n for_o though_o i_o never_o do_v this_o because_o i_o have_v no_o ability_n for_o this_o purpose_n as_o i_o have_v say_v and_o i_o find_v myself_o so_o miserable_a and_o so_o mean_a that_o god_n do_v i_o particular_a favour_n to_o enable_v i_o to_o think_v of_o earthly_a thing_n by_o mean_n whereof_o i_o may_v come_v afterward_o to_o understand_v this_o truth_n for_o even_o this_o be_v no_o small_a adventure_n for_o i_o and_o how_o much_o more_o be_v it_o so_o to_o consider_v celestial_a thing_n yet_o other_o may_v take_v benefit_n hereby_o and_o especial_o if_o they_o have_v learning_n and_o knowledge_n which_o be_v in_o my_o opinion_n a_o great_a treasure_n towards_o this_o exercise_n of_o prayer_n if_o it_o be_v accompany_v with_o humility_n i_o have_v see_v the_o truth_n of_o this_o very_o late_o by_o occasion_n of_o some_o learned_a man_n who_o begin_v not_o long_o ago_o and_o yet_o have_v proceed_v and_o profit_v very_o much_o which_o make_v i_o have_v a_o earnest_n and_o even_o a_o kind_n of_o impatient_a desire_n that_o many_o such_o as_o be_v learned_a will_v grow_v to_o be_v very_o spiritual_a man_n whereof_o i_o shall_v give_v the_o reason_n hereafter_o but_o now_o that_o which_o i_o have_v say_v namely_o that_o man_n must_v not_o exalt_v themselves_o to_o rise_v high_o than_o god_n do_v raise_v they_o be_v a_o certain_a kind_n of_o language_n of_o spirit_n and_o he_o will_v understand_v i_o who_o have_v experience_n of_o it_o but_o as_o for_o i_o i_o know_v not_o how_o to_o express_v it_o if_o he_o know_v not_o how_o to_o understand_v i_o by_o what_o i_o have_v say_v in_o mystical_a theology_n whereof_o i_o begin_v to_o speak_v the_o understanding_n cease_v from_o work_v because_o almighty_a god_n themselves_o suspend_v it_o as_o i_o will_v declare_v hereafter_o if_o i_o be_v able_a and_o if_o he_o give_v i_o grace_n for_o that_o purpose_n but_o as_o for_o we_o to_o presume_v yea_o or_o so_o much_o as_o to_o think_v of_o suspend_v it_o be_v that_o which_o i_o be_o say_v we_o shall_v not_o do_v nor_o must_v we_o leave_v to_o act_v and_o work_v thereby_o and_o therewith_o for_o if_o we_o do_v we_o shall_v be_v stupid_a and_o sottish_a and_o cold_a and_o we_o shall_v effect_v neither_o the_o one_o nor_o the_o other_o but_o when_o our_o lord_n suspend_v and_o stopp_n it_o he_o furnish_v it_o with_o matter_n upon_o which_o the_o party_n may_v employ_v himself_o and_o at_o which_o he_o may_v be_v amaze_v and_o he_o make_v he_o understand_v more_o in_o the_o time_n and_o space_n of_o say_v one_o
all_o their_o hope_n be_v lose_v though_o for_o my_o part_n i_o conceive_v that_o all_o that_o loss_n be_v gain_n but_o let_v they_o advice_n as_o i_o have_v say_v represent_v themselves_o as_o in_o the_o presence_n of_o christ_n our_o lord_n and_o without_o weary_v of_o the_o understanding_n be_v speak_v and_o regal_v themselves_o with_o he_o and_o not_o tire_v their_o wit_n to_o find_v out_o and_o frame_v certain_a discourse_n but_o let_v they_o only_o present_v their_o necessity_n and_o the_o reason_n which_o he_o may_v have_v not_o so_o much_o as_o to_o endure_v they_o there_o some_o one_o of_o these_o consideration_n will_v serve_v at_o one_o time_n and_o some_o other_o at_o a_o other_o that_o so_o the_o soul_n may_v not_o be_v weary_a of_o feed_v always_o upon_o one_o dish_n these_o particular_n be_v both_o very_a gustfull_a and_o very_o profitable_a also_o if_o once_o the_o party_n be_v accustom_v to_o feed_v on_o they_o for_o they_o use_v to_o bring_v great_a support_n and_o strength_n for_o the_o life_n of_o the_o soul_n &_o many_o advamtage_n also_o otherwise_o i_o will_v declare_v myself_o further_o upon_o this_o matter_n because_o all_o these_o point_n concern_v prayer_n carry_v their_o difficulty_n along_o with_o they_o and_o unless_o there_o be_v a_o good_a director_n at_o hand_n they_o be_v very_o hard_a to_o be_v understand_v and_o this_o be_v the_o very_a cause_n why_o though_o i_o will_v fain_o make_v short_a and_o that_o just_o because_o it_o will_v suffice_v for_o i_o but_o even_o to_o touch_v they_o by_o reason_n of_o the_o great_a capacity_n of_o he_o who_o command_v i_o to_o write_v these_o particular_n of_o prayer_n yet_o my_o dulness_n be_v not_o able_a to_o declare_v &_o explicate_v in_o few_o word_n a_o thing_n which_o it_o so_o much_o import_v to_o be_v well_o understand_v and_o because_o i_o suffer_v so_o very_a much_o by_o use_v only_a book_n when_o i_o begin_v the_o exercise_n of_o prayer_n i_o have_v compassion_n of_o all_o they_o who_o do_v so_o too_o for_o it_o be_v no_o less_o than_o strange_a to_o see_v how_o far_o otherwise_o book_n be_v wont_a to_o be_v understand_v than_o man_n see_v they_o ought_v to_o have_v be_v when_o once_o they_o come_v to_o have_v have_v experience_n of_o these_o thing_n but_o now_o to_o return_v to_o what_o i_o be_v say_v let_v we_o put_v ourselves_o to_o consider_v some_o passage_n of_o the_o passion_n of_o our_o bless_a lord_n and_o for_o example_n let_v it_o be_v that_o when_o he_o be_v tie_v to_o the_o pillar_n and_o here_o let_v the_o understanding_n search-out_a the_o cause_n of_o those_o great_a dolour_n and_o affliction_n which_o his_o divine_a majesty_n feel_v in_o that_o solitude_n of_o he_o as_o also_o upon_o many_o other_o thing_n which_o if_o the_o understanding_n be_v good_a at_o work_v or_o else_o if_o he_o have_v learn_v he_o may_v easy_o be_v able_a to_o fetch_v from_o thence_o and_o this_o be_v a_o manner_n of_o prayer_n wherein_o all_o creature_n may_v both_o begin_v and_o proceed_v and_o make_v a_o end_n and_o it_o will_v be_v a_o very_a excellent_a and_o secure_a way_n till_o our_o lord_n may_v perhaps_o carry_v they_o on_o to_o other_o thing_n which_o be_v supernatural_a i_o say_v for_o all_o though_o yet_o there_o be_v many_o soul_n which_o profit_n more_o by_o other_o meditation_n then_o by_o that_o of_o the_o sacred_a passion_n for_o as_o there_o be_v many_o mansion_n in_o heaven_n when_o a_o soul_n be_v there_o so_o be_v there_o also_o many_o way_n thither_o some_o profit_n more_o by_o consider_v heaven_n and_o some_o afflict_v themselves_o best_a by_o think_v of_o hell_n other_o by_o reflect_v upon_o death_n and_o some_o if_o they_o be_v very_o tender-hearted_a be_v too_o much_o trouble_v and_o vex_v if_o they_o always_o go_v ruminate_v upon_o the_o passion_n and_o they_o regale_n themselves_o better_a yea_o and_o they_o also_o profit_v more_o by_o consider_v the_o power_n and_o greatness_n of_o almighty_a god_n in_o his_o work_n and_o the_o love_n he_o bear_v we_o which_o they_o find_v to_o be_v represent_v to_o they_o in_o all_o his_o creature_n and_o this_o be_v a_o admirable_a way_n of_o proceed_v though_o yet_o still_o we_o must_v neither_o forget_v nor_o forbear_v to_o consider_v the_o life_n and_o passion_n of_o our_o bless_a lord_n very_o often_o that_o in_o fine_a be_v the_o very_a thing_n from_o which_o all_o our_o good_a both_o ever_o do_v and_o ever_o can_v arrive_v to_o us._n he_o who_o be_v a_o beginner_n have_v need_n be_v careful_a to_o consider_v very_o well_o what_o that_o be_v whereby_o he_o profit_v most_o and_o to_o this_o purpose_n he_o will_v have_v great_a need_n of_o a_o director_n if_o he_o can_v meet_v with_o a_o experience_a man_n for_o if_o he_o be_v not_o so_o in_o good_a measure_n he_o may_v chance_v err_v by_o carry_v a_o soul_n on_o without_o either_o understanding_n she_o himself_o or_o else_o give_v she_o to_o be_v understand_v by_o the_o party_n for_o as_o the_o party_n can_v but_o know_v of_o how_o great_a merit_n it_o be_v for_o he_o to_o subject_v himself_o to_o a_o director_n so_o he_o will_v not_o presume_v to_o depart_v from_o that_o which_o the_o other_o shall_v direct_v i_o have_v meet_v with_o certain_a soul_n which_o have_v be_v afflict_v and_o deject_a and_o straighten_v because_o he_o who_o have_v the_o instruct_v they_o want_v experience_n and_o i_o be_v hearty_o sorry_a for_o they_o and_o some_o also_o i_o have_v see_v who_o know_v not_o what_o to_o do_v with_o themselves_o for_o they_o not_o understand_v matter_n of_o spirit_n afflict_a themselves_o both_o in_o body_n and_o soul_n and_o the_o while_n be_v sure_a enough_o not_o to_o benefit_v other_o one_o of_o they_o tell_v i_o once_o of_o a_o director_n of_o she_o who_o will_v not_o suffer_v she_o in_o eight_o year_n together_o to_o pass_v on_o out_o of_o the_o consideration_n of_o the_o knowledge_n of_o herself_o and_o yet_o our_o lord_n have_v she_o then_o in_o the_o condition_n and_o degree_n of_o quiet_a prayer_n but_o so_o she_o be_v in_o trouble_n enough_o and_o though_o it_o be_v very_o true_a that_o this_o point_n of_o the_o knowledge_n of_o one_o self_n be_v never_o indeed_o to_o be_v utter_o give_v over_o nor_o be_v any_o soul_n in_o the_o way_n of_o prayer_n to_o think_v she_o have_v so_o much_o of_o the_o giant_n in_o she_o as_o not_o to_o understand_v that_o many_o time_n she_o must_v turn_v child_n and_o suck_v again_o and_o this_o must_v never_o be_v forget_v and_o perhaps_o i_o shall_v also_o speak_v often_o of_o it_o again_o in_o regard_n that_o it_o import_v so_o much_o because_o there_o be_v no_o state_n of_o prayer_n so_o high_a wherein_o it_o will_v not_o be_v necessary_a to_o turne-againe_a often_o to_o the_o beginning_n and_o this_o point_n of_o the_o knowledge_n of_o ourselves_o and_o of_o our_o sin_n be_v the_o daily_a bread_n bread_n which_o must_v be_v eat_v with_o all_o the_o meat_n how_o delicate_a soever_o it_o may_v be_v of_o such_o as_o be_v in_o this_o way_n of_o prayer_n yea_o and_o without_o this_o very_a bread_n they_o will_v never_o be_v able_a to_o support_v and_o strengthen_v themselves_o yet_o must_v even_o this_o be_v take_v by_o weight_n and_o measure_n for_o when_o once_o a_o soul_n find_v herself_o lay_v very_o flat_a and_o low_a and_o see_v clear_o that_o she_o have_v no_o good_a thing_n of_o her_o own_o and_o find_v herself_o to_o be_v full_a of_o confusion_n and_o shame_n so_o much_o as_o to_o appear_v in_o the_o presence_n of_o so_o great_a a_o king_n and_o the_o little_a which_o she_o be_v able_a to_o pay_v he_o for_o the_o very_a much_o which_o she_o find_v herself_o to_o owe_v he_o what_o necessity_n be_v there_o to_o spend_v so_o very_a much_o time_n upon_o this_o without_o apply_v ourselves_o to_o such_o other_o thing_n as_o our_o lord_n may_v perhaps_o set_v before_o we_o and_o which_o it_o will_v not_o be_v reason_n for_o we_o to_o leave_v since_o his_o divine_a majesty_n know_v better_a than_o we_o upon_o what_o it_o be_v convenient_a for_o we_o to_o feed_v so_o that_o it_o import_v we_o very_o much_o that_o the_o spirit_n director_n be_v well_o advise_v &_o i_o mean_v also_o that_o he_o be_v of_o good_a understanding_n and_o experience_n and_o if_o with_o this_o he_o be_v also_o learned_a it_o will_v be_v of_o mighty_a importance_n but_o yet_o still_o when_o all_o these_o three_o part_n shall_v not_o chance_v to_o meet_v together_o in_o the_o same_o man_n the_o two_o former_a quality_n of_o these_o three_o will_v fall_v out_o to_o import_v more_o than_o the_o three_o because_o they_o may_v easy_o procure_v to_o consult_v with_o such_o as_o be_v learned_a whensoever_o they_o shall_v have_v need_n thereof_o
for_o the_o make_v a_o little_a more_o prayer_n we_o shall_v outstripp_a they_o who_o yet_o be_v subject_a to_o so_o great_a penance_n bless_a be_v thou_o o_o lord_n who_o have_v make_v i_o so_o unprofitable_a and_o unuseful_a but_o yet_o i_o praise_v thou_o after_o a_o extraordinary_a manner_n in_o regard_n that_o thou_o awake_v so_o very_a many_o who_o may_v awake_v us._n and_o we_o shall_v do_v well_o to_o make_v very_o continual_a prayer_n for_o they_o who_o give_v we_o light_n for_o what_o will_v become_v of_o we_o without_o they_o in_o the_o midst_n of_o so_o great_a tempest_n as_o be_v now_o in_o the_o church_n if_o some_o man_n have_v be_v wicked_a the_o good_a will_v shine_v the_o bright_a by_o their_o mean_n i_o beseech_v our_o lord_n to_o hold_v they_o up_o with_o his_o hand_n that_o he_o may_v help_v such_o as_o help_v we_o amen_n i_o have_v travail_v far_o out_o of_o the_o way_n from_o that_o which_o i_o be_v go_v to_o say_v but_o all_o will_v serve_v the_o turn_n for_o beginner_n to_o the_o end_n that_o they_o may_v so_o put_v themselves_o upon_o this_o high_a way_n that_o it_o may_v also_o prove_v to_o they_o a_o true_a way_n return_v therefore_o to_o what_o i_o say_v of_o note_n meditate_v upon_o christ_n our_o lord_n at_o the_o pillar_n it_o be_v good_a to_o discourse_v a_o while_n and_o to_o think_v upon_o the_o pain_n which_o he_o feel_v there_o and_o why_o he_o feel_v it_o and_o who_o it_o be_v that_o feel_v it_o and_o the_o love_n wherewith_o he_o feel_v it_o yet_o let_v not_o the_o party_n weary_a himself_o by_o go_v about_o to_o seek_v all_o this_o but_o let_v he_o remain_v still_o there_o with_o a_o calm_a and_o quiet_a kind_n of_o understanding_n if_o he_o can_v let_v he_o employ_v himself_o upon_o consider_v who_o look_v upon_o he_o and_o let_v he_o accompany_v he_o and_o beg_v of_o he_o and_o humble_v himself_o before_o he_o and_o regale_n himself_o with_o he_o and_o in_o fine_a let_v he_o remember_v that_o our_o lord_n deserve_v not_o to_o be_v there_o whensoever_o you_o shall_v be_v able_a to_o do_v this_o though_o it_o shall_v fall_v out_o to_o be_v at_o the_o very_a beginning_n of_o your_o prayer_n you_o will_v find_v great_a benefit_n by_o it_o nay_o many_o benefit_n be_v acquire_v by_o this_o manner_n of_o prayer_n and_o at_o least_o my_o soul_n find_v it_o so_o i_o know_v not_o whether_o i_o hit_v right_a in_o declare_v myself_o but_o your_o reverence_n will_v consider_v of_o that_o and_o i_o beseech_v our_o bless_a lord_n that_o i_o may_v hit_v right_a in_o everlasting_o please_v he_o amen_n the_o fourteenth_n chapter_n she_o begin_v to_o declare_v the_o second_o degree_n of_o prayer_n wherein_o our_o lord_n be_v already_o please_v to_o give_v the_o soul_n more_o particular_a gust_n which_o she_o relate_v to_o the_o end_n that_o she_o may_v make_v they_o be_v understand_v to_o be_v supernatural_a this_o discourse_n be_v very_o much_o to_o be_v note_v since_o now_o it_o be_v already_o declare_v with_o how_o much_o labour_n this_o orchard_n be_v water_v and_o how_o by_o the_o strength_n of_o the_o arm_n the_o water_n be_v to_o be_v get_v out_o of_o the_o well_o we_o must_v say_v somewhat_o of_o that_o second_o way_n of_o drawing-up_a this_o water_n which_o the_o lord_n of_o the_o garden_n have_v ordain_v that_o so_o by_o this_o artifice_n of_o the_o wheel_n with_o those_o little_a bucket_n which_o belong_v to_o it_o the_o gardener_n may_v draw_v out_o more_o water_n and_o with_o less_o trouble_n and_o may_v be_v able_a to_o rest_v now_o and_o then_o and_o not_o be_v continual_o in_o labour_n now_o this_o way_n be_v apply_v to_o prayer_n which_o be_v wont_a to_o be_v call_v quiet_a prayer_n be_v that_o whereof_o now_o i_o will_v treat_v the_o soul_n do_v here_o begin_v to_o recollect_v and_o as_o it_o be_v shut_v itself_o up_o and_o it_o touch_v a_o little_a here_o upon_o the_o supernatural_a because_o the_o power_n thereof_o can_v by_o no_o mean_n gain_v this_o for_o itself_o by_o all_o the_o diligence_n which_o it_o can_v possible_o use_v it_o be_v true_a that_o sometime_o she_o may_v seem_v to_o have_v wearled_a herself_o in_o go_v round_o about_o the_o turn_n and_o to_o have_v labour_v hard_o with_o the_o understanding_n and_o so_o to_o have_v filled-up_a the_o little_a buckett_n but_o here_o the_o water_n be_v growne-up_a to_o be_v high_a and_o so_o she_o labour_v much_o less_o than_o she_o do_v in_o draw_v it_o out_o of_o the_o well_o i_o say_v the_o water_n be_v grow_v near_o to_o she_o because_o grace_n give_v itself_o now_o to_o be_v more_o clear_o know_v by_o the_o soul_n this_o be_v a_o kind_n of_o recollect_v and_o as_o it_o be_v a_o shutting-up_a of_o the_o power_n of_o the_o soul_n into_o herself_o that_o so_o she_o may_v be_v able_a to_o enjoy_v the_o contentment_n which_o then_o she_o have_v with_o more_o gust_n but_o yet_o the_o use_n of_o the_o faculty_n be_v not_o lose_v nor_o do_v they_o sleep_v but_o only_o the_o will_n be_v employ_v and_o possess_v in_o such_o sort_n that_o it_o be_v grow_v to_o be_v captive_v though_o yet_o itself_o know_v not_o how_o only_a it_o give_v consent_v that_o almighty_a god_n may_v put_v it_o in_o prison_n as_o one_o who_o understand_v now_o very_o well_o how_o to_o let_v itself_o be_v make_v prisoner_n to_o who_o it_o love_v o_o my_o dear_a jesus_n and_o my_o lord_n of_o how_o much_o worth_n be_v thy_o love_n to_o we_o in_o this_o case_n since_o it_o hold_v our_o love_n fast_o in_o so_o strong_a chain_n that_o it_o leave_v we_o not_o even_o liberty_n at_o that_o instant_n to_o love_v any_o other_o thing_n than_o thyself_o the_o other_o two_o faculty_n which_o be_v the_o understanding_n and_o memory_n be_v then_o assist_v the_o will_n to_o the_o end_n that_o they_o may_v go_v enable_v it_o to_o enjoy_v so_o great_a a_o good_a although_o now_o and_o then_o it_o happen_v that_o howsoever_o they_o be_v even_o thus_o unite_v to_o the_o will_n they_o yet_o be_v apt_a enough_o sometime_o to_o dis-assist_a it_o much_o but_o in_o this_o case_n let_v not_o the_o will_v make_v any_o great_a account_n of_o that_o but_o remain_v still_o in_o her_o quietness_n and_o joy_n for_o mind_n if_o she_o shall_v persist_v in_o resolve_v to_o recollect_v those_o other_o faculty_n to_o herself_o both_o they_o and_o she_o will_v loose_v by_o the_o bargain_n for_o they_o be_v then_o as_o so_o many_o dove_n who_o content_v not_o themselves_o with_o the_o food_n or_o bait_n which_o the_o lord_n of_o the_o dove-house_n present_v without_o their_o labour_v for_o it_o but_o they_o go_v to_o seek_v it_o in_o other_o place_n though_o yet_o they_o soon_o grow_v to_o find_v it_o so_o bad_a that_o they_o quick_o return_v again_o and_o so_o come_v and_o go_v to_o see_v whether_o the_o will_n may_v be_v bring_v to_o bestow_v any_o part_n of_o that_o upon_o they_o which_o it_o enjoy_v and_o if_o our_o lord_n please_v to_o cast_v they_o any_o food_n they_o stay_v and_o if_o not_o they_o go_v again_o to_o seek_v it_o and_o all_o this_o while_n they_o conceive_v that_o they_o be_v even_o of_o use_n and_o benefit_n to_o the_o will_n itself_o though_o yet_o sometime_o both_o the_o memory_n and_o imagination_n even_o whilst_o they_o have_v a_o desire_n to_o represent_v that_o better_a to_o she_o which_o she_o enjoy_v fall_v out_o to_o do_v her_o hurt_n in_o stead_n of_o good_a let_v she_o therefore_o be_v content_a to_o carry_v herself_o so_o towards_o they_o as_o i_o shall_v here_o advise_v since_o all_o that_o which_o pass_v here_o be_v of_o extreme_a consolation_n and_o be_v obtain_v with_o so_o little_a labour_n that_o prayer_n never_o weary_v one_o here_o though_o it_o chance_v to_o last_v very_o long_o because_o the_o understanding_n go_v work_v now_o at_o great_a leisure_n and_o walk_v as_o it_o be_v foot_n by_o foot_n and_o brings-up_a another_o manner_n of_o quantity_n of_o water_n then_o former_o it_o draw_v out_o of_o the_o well_o and_o the_o tear_n which_o god_n give_v in_o this_o case_n come_v already_o with_o very_o great_a joy_n which_o howsoever_o we_o feel_v yet_o we_o procure_v they_o not_o this_o prayer_n water_n of_o the_o well_o which_o import_v the_o great_a blessing_n and_o favour_n which_o our_o bless_a lord_n show_v we_o here_o make_v our_o virtue_n increase_n incomparable_o more_o than_o that_o other_o of_o the_o former_a degree_n of_o prayer_n do_v because_o now_o the_o soul_n be_v already_o beginning_n to_o get_v up_o away_o from_o her_o own_o misery_n and_o already_o she_o grow_v to_o be_v allow_v to_o have_v some_o small_a notice_n even_o of_o the_o gust_n of_o glory_n and_o this_o i_o think_v make_v she_o thrive_v and_o
better_o set_v down_o and_o it_o seem_v to_o be_v as_o when_o one_o have_v a_o original_a before_o he_o and_o then_o he_o may_v easy_o take-out_a the_o copy_n but_o if_o the_o spirit_n be_v want_v there_o be_v no_o more_o power_n and_o mean_n to_o make_v one_o word_n of_o this_o language_n suit_n well_o with_o a_o other_o then_o if_o as_o we_o may_v say_v we_o will_v suit_n spanish_n and_o turkish_a together_o even_o though_o we_o shall_v have_v exercise_v ourselves_o many_o year_n in_o prayer_n and_o therefore_o i_o think_v it_o be_v of_o very_o great_a advantage_n when_o i_o write_v if_o i_o be_v then_o in_o state_n of_o prayer_n for_o i_o see_v clear_o that_o it_o be_v not_o i_o who_o declare_v it_o nor_o who_o do_v either_o order_n it_o then_o with_o my_o understanding_n nor_o yet_o know_v afterward_o how_o i_o declare_v it_o before_o and_o this_o happen_v to_o i_o very_o often_o but_o now_o let_v we_o goe-back_a to_o our_o orchard_n or_o garden_n and_o see_v how_o these_o tree_n begin_v to_o button_n and_o budd-out_a towards_o flower_a that_o they_o may_v afterward_o yield_v fruit_n and_o how_o these_o gillie-flower_n and_o other_o odoriferous_a plant_n dispose_v themselves_o to_o give_v delight_n full_o send_v to_o the_o owner_n i_o confess_v that_o this_o comparison_n regales_fw-la and_o please_v i_o much_o for_o many_o time_n in_o my_o beginning_n and_o i_o humble_o beseech_v our_o lord_n that_o even_o yet_o i_o may_v have_v be_v a_o beginner_n to_o serve_v his_o divine_a majesty_n i_o say_v in_o those_o beginning_n of_o that_o which_o i_o shall_v say_v afterward_o of_o my_o life_n it_o be_v of_o much_o delight_n to_o i_o to_o consider_v that_o my_o soul_n be_v a_o garden_n and_o that_o our_o lord_n walk_v in_o it_o up_o and_o down_o and_o i_o humble_o pray_v he_o to_o increase_v the_o odour_n of_o those_o little_a young_a flower_n of_o virtue_n which_o show_v in_o all_o appearance_n that_o they_o will_v be_v glad_a to_o find_v mean_n to_o sprout_v and_o that_o also_o they_o may_v serve_v for_o his_o glory_n and_o that_o he_o will_v be_v please_v to_o sustain_v they_o since_o i_o desire_v nothing_o for_o myself_o and_o that_o he_o will_v also_o dress_v and_o prune_v as_o many_o of_o they_o as_o he_o please_v for_o already_o i_o know_v well_o enough_o that_o they_o will_v thrive_v and_o grow_v the_o better_a afterward_o i_o say_v that_o he_o will_v cut_v and_o prune_v they_o in_o regard_n that_o some_o such_o time_n arrive_v now_o and_o then_o to_o the_o soul_n as_o wherein_o there_o be_v no_o appearance_n leave_v of_o this_o garden_n at_o all_o but_o then_o all_o seem_v to_o be_v wither_v and_o dry_a and_o that_o there_o never_o will_v come_v more_o water_n to_o sustain_v it_o yea_o and_o that_o there_o also_o seem_v to_o have_v never_o be_v any_o virtue_n in_o that_o soul_n in_o this_o case_n it_o undergo_v great_a affliction_n because_o our_o lord_n be_v please_v that_o the_o poor_a gardner_n may_v conceive_v that_o all_o that_o care_n be_v lose_v which_o he_o have_v former_o employ_v upon_o sustain_v and_o improve_v his_o garden_n but_o then_o comes-in_a the_o time_n of_o true_a plucking-up_a and_o rooting-out_a all_o those_o little_a paltry_a herb_n which_o till_o then_o have_v remain_v there_o how_o little_a soever_o they_o may_v be_v with_o make_v we_o also_o know_v that_o no_o diligence_n of_o we_o will_v serve_v if_o almighty_a god_n take_v the_o water_n of_o his_o grace_n from_o we_o that_o so_o in_o fine_a we_o may_v come_v to_o hold_v this_o poor_a miserable_a nothing_o of_o we_o in_o no_o manner_n of_o account_n yea_o and_o if_o the_o thing_n be_v possible_a even_o for_o less_o than_o nothing_o for_o here_o great_a humility_n make_v we_o the_o gainer_n since_o the_o flower_n will_v thus_o grow_v to_o reflourish_v o_o thou_o my_o lord_n and_o my_o god_n for_o i_o know_v not_o how_o to_o say_v this_o without_o tear_n and_o without_o a_o great_a regalo_n to_o this_o poor_a soul_n of_o i_o be_v it_o possible_a o_o my_o lord_n that_o thou_o be_v please_v to_o be_v thus_o among_o we_o yea_o and_o thou_o remain_v in_o the_o b._n sacrament_n which_o may_v well_o be_v with_o all_o truth_n believe_v because_o so_o it_o be_v and_o we_o may_v with_o much_o truth_n make_v this_o comparison_n and_o if_o it_o be_v not_o through_o our_o own_o fault_n we_o may_v enjoy_v ourselves_o together_o with_o thou_o yea_o and_o thou_o do_v also_o rejoice_v to_o be_v with_o we_o since_o thou_o declare_v that_o it_o be_v thy_o delight_n to_o be_v with_o the_o child_n of_o man_n o_o my_o lord_n what_o be_v this_o for_o whensoever_o i_o hear_v but_o this_o word_n it_o be_v to_o i_o of_o great_a consolation_n yea_o and_o be_v so_o when_o i_o find_v myself_o in_o the_o worst_a condition_n but_o be_v it_o possible_a after_o this_o o_o my_o dear_a lord_n that_o there_o shall_v be_v in_o the_o whole_a world_n any_o one_o soul_n which_o arrive_v to_o receive_v such_o favour_n and_o regalo_n at_o thy_o hand_n and_o understanding_n that_o thou_o reioyc_a so_o high_o in_o she_o shall_v yet_o return_v to_o offend_v thou_o after_o the_o receive_n of_o so_o many_o favour_n and_o so_o great_a demonstration_n of_o the_o love_n thou_o bear_v she_o in_o such_o sort_n as_o that_o they_o can_v possible_o be_v doubt_v since_o the_o effect_n do_v so_o manifest_o declare_v it_o yes_o yes_o it_o be_v most_o certain_a that_o there_o be_v such_o a_o soul_n in_o the_o world_n which_o have_v offend_v thou_o and_o that_o not_o once_o but_o often_o yea_o and_o i_o be_o this_o very_a soul_n and_o i_o beseech_v thy_o divine_a goodness_n o_o my_o lord_n that_o i_o may_v have_v be_v the_o only_o creature_n who_o ever_o commit_v so_o high_a a_o wickedness_n and_o who_o have_v be_v guilty_a of_o such_o a_o excessive_a ingratitude_n against_o thou_o though_o yet_o already_o even_o from_o this_o very_a misery_n of_o i_o thy_o infinite_a goodness_n have_v be_v able_a to_o draw_v some_o advantage_n yea_o and_o even_o by_o how_o much_o the_o ill_n have_v be_v great_a the_o great_a benignity_n of_o thy_o mercy_n have_v shine_v so_o much_o the_o more_o but_o now_o with_o how_o much_o reason_n may_v i_o resolve_v to_o celebrate_v they_o for_o all_o eternity_n i_o most_o humble_o beseech_v thou_o o_o my_o god_n that_o it_o may_v be_v so_o and_o that_o i_o may_v sing_v praise_n to_o thou_o for_o ever_o since_o now_o thou_o have_v vouchsafe_v to_o show_v thy_o goodness_n so_o high_o and_o so_o great_o to_o i_o that_o such_o as_o see_v it_o be_v amaze_v and_o as_o for_o i_o they_o carry_v i_o very_o often_o even_o out_o of_o myself_o and_o if_o i_o shall_v once_o find_v that_o i_o be_v deprive_v of_o thou_o i_o can_v be_v fit_a o_o my_o lord_n for_o nothing_o but_o to_o return_v to_o be_v such_o a_o kind_n of_o garden_n as_o that_o the_o flower_n be_v plucked-up_a yet_o once_o again_o this_o miserable_a earth_n of_o i_o will_v return_v to_o be_v a_o direct_a dunghill_n as_o it_o be_v before_o to_o the_o end_n therefore_o that_o i_o may_v praise_v thou_o the_o better_a permit_v not_o i_o beseech_v thou_o o_o my_o lord_n that_o this_o soul_n may_v ever_o grow_v to_o be_v lose_v which_o thou_o have_v buy_v with_o so_o many_o affliction_n of_o thy_o own_o and_o which_o thou_o have_v so_o often_o repurchase_v again_o and_o again_o and_o take_v from_o out_o of_o the_o very_a tooth_n of_o that_o hideous_a dragon_n of_o hell_n i_o beseech_v your_o reverence_n excuse_v i_o for_o speak_v thus_o from_o the_o purpose_n and_o do_v not_o wonder_v at_o it_o since_o it_o be_v at_o least_o to_o my_o own_o purpose_n to_o speak_v as_o i_o do_v for_o it_o happen_v according_a to_o those_o apprehension_n and_o reflection_n which_o the_o soul_n chance_v to_o make_v when_o one_o write_v and_o sometime_o it_o falls-out_a to_o be_v hard_o enough_o to_o forbear_v to_o celebrate_v the_o praise_n of_o almighty_a god_n when_o it_o happen_v that_o the_o pen_n represent_v such_o thing_n as_o express_v the_o high_a obligation_n which_o we_o have_v to_o his_o divine_a majesty_n and_o i_o believe_v that_o this_o will_v be_v no_o way_n displease_v to_o your_o reverence_n for_o i_o be_o of_o opinion_n that_o we_o may_v both_o of_o we_o do_v very_o well_o to_o sing_v one_o song_n though_o yet_o after_o a_o different_a manner_n because_o it_o be_v much_o more_o which_o i_o owe_v to_o almighty_a god_n than_o you_o in_o regard_n that_o he_o have_v pardon_v i_o more_o sin_n as_o your_o reverence_n know_v very_o well_o the_o fifteen_o chapter_n she_o prosecute_v her_o discourse_n of_o the_o same_o matter_n and_o give_v some_o advice_n how_o person_n be_v to_o carry_v themselves_o in_o this_o kind_n
of_o quiet_a prayer_n she_o treat_v how_o many_o soul_n come_v to_o arrive_v to_o this_o degree_n of_o prayer_n and_o that_o few_o pass_v beyond_o it_o the_o particular_n which_o be_v touch_v here_o be_v not_o only_o very_o profitable_a but_o very_o necessary_a let_v we_o now_o return_v to_o our_o purpose_n this_o quietness_n and_o recollection_n of_o the_o soul_n be_v easy_o perceive_v by_o the_o satisfaction_n and_o peace_n which_o be_v infuse_v into_o she_o with_o a_o very_a great_a contentment_n and_o calmness_n of_o the_o power_n of_o the_o say_a soul_n together_o with_o a_o very_a great_a delight_n and_o now_o it_o seem_v to_o she_o because_o she_o be_v not_o come_v yet_o any_o further_a that_o already_o she_o have_v nothing_o leave_v to_o desire_v and_o that_o with_o a_o very_a good_a will_n she_o can_v make_v the_o same_o suit_n with_o s._n peter_n that_o her_o abode_n may_v be_v ever_o there_o she_o dare_v not_o stir_v or_o move_v nay_o she_o will_v hardly_o give_v herself_o leave_n so_o much_o as_o to_o take_v her_o breath_n for_o fear_n lest_o so_o that_o good_a shall_v be_v fly_v away_o out_o of_o her_o hand_n and_o the_o while_n the_o poor_a little_a soul_n understand_v not_o that_o as_o by_o her_o own_o power_n she_o can_v do_v nothing_o for_o the_o draw_v of_o that_o good_a to_o herself_o so_o be_v she_o of_o less_o ability_n to_o detain_v it_o there_o any_o long_a than_o our_o lord_n shall_v be_v please_v to_o grant_v it_o i_o have_v already_o declare_v that_o in_o this_o first_o recollection_n and_o quiet_v the_o power_n and_o faculty_n of_o the_o soul_n be_v not_o want_v but_o yet_o she_o be_v so_o full_o satisfy_v with_o god_n that_o as_o long_o as_o this_o occasion_n last_v howsoever_o those_o two_o other_o power_n may_v discompose_v themselves_o yet_o the_o will_n remain_v unite_v with_o almighty_a god_n that_o quiet_v and_o calm_a rest_n be_v not_o lose_v but_o rather_o by_o little_a and_o little_a the_o will_v again_o recover_v and_o recollect_n the_o understanding_n and_o memory_n for_o howsoever_o the_o say_v will_v be_v not_o yet_o total_o ingulf_v yet_o be_v she_o so_o employ_v without_o know_v how_o that_o how_o diligent_a soever_o they_o be_v they_o know_v not_o how_o to_o deprive_v she_o of_o her_o contentment_n and_o joy_n but_o rather_o she_o go_v help_v herself_o without_o any_o trouble_n at_o all_o of_o her_o own_o to_o the_o end_n that_o this_o little_a spark_n of_o the_o love_n of_o almighty_a god_n may_v not_o be_v quench_v in_o she_o i_o beseech_v our_o lord_n to_o allow_v i_o grace_n that_o i_o may_v give_v this_o to_o be_v well_o understand_v for_o there_o be_v many_o and_o very_o many_o soul_n which_o arrive_v to_o be_v in_o this_o degree_n or_o state_n and_o few_o which_o get_v beyond_o it_o and_o i_o know_v not_o who_o may_v be_v in_o fault_n thereof_o only_o i_o be_o sure_a enough_o that_o there_o be_v none_o in_o almighty_a god_n for_o since_o his_o divine_a majesty_n do_v a_o soul_n the_o favour_n that_o she_o may_v be_v able_a to_o arrive_v to_o this_o point_n i_o can_v believe_v that_o he_o will_v cease_v to_o carry_v she_o much_o further_o if_o it_o be_v not_o for_o some_o fault_n of_o her_o own_o but_o now_o it_o import_v the_o same_o soul_n very_o much_o that_o when_o she_o arrive_v thus_o far_o she_o may_v well_o understand_v the_o great_a dignity_n wherein_o she_o be_v and_o the_o great_a favour_n which_o our_o lord_n have_v do_v she_o and_o how_o in_o all_o good_a reason_n she_o be_v no_o long_o to_o be_v as_o of_o the_o earth_n because_o it_o seem_v now_o already_o that_o his_o goodness_n make_v she_o a_o inhabitant_n of_o heaven_n if_o it_o be_v not_o her_o fault_n and_o wretched_a shall_v she_o be_v if_o she_o turn_v back_o and_o i_o believe_v it_o will_v be_v then_o to_o go_v down_o low_a enough_o whither_o i_o be_v go_v if_o the_o mercy_n of_o our_o lord_n have_v not_o make_v i_o turn_v yet_o back_o again_o for_o the_o most_o part_n in_o my_o opinion_n they_o give_v over_o for_o very_o grievous_a fault_n of_o their_o own_o nor_o be_v it_o possible_a for_o any_o creature_n to_o quit_v so_o great_a a_o good_a without_o the_o note_n blindness_n of_o be_v subject_a to_o commit_v some_o very_a great_a ill_n and_o therefore_o i_o humble_o beseech_v those_o soul_n even_o for_o the_o love_n of_o our_o lord_n to_o who_o his_o majesty_n have_v do_v so_o great_a a_o favour_n as_o to_o make_v they_o able_a to_o reach_v this_o degree_n and_o state_n that_o they_o will_v know_v themselves_o yea_o and_o that_o they_o will_v hold_v themselves_o in_o great_a account_n with_o a_o humble_a and_o holy_a presumption_n that_o so_o they_o may_v never_o return_v again_o to_o the_o flesh-potts_n of_o egypt_n and_o yet_o that_o if_o through_o their_o weakness_n and_o wickedness_n and_o through_o their_o naughty_a and_o miserable_a condition_n they_o shall_v chance_v to_o fall_v back_o as_o i_o do_v they_o will_v ever_o be_v yet_o represent_v to_o themselves_o the_o great_a good_a which_o they_o have_v lose_v and_o that_o also_o they_o will_v grow_v into_o suspicion_n of_o themselves_o and_o walk_v along_o with_o fear_n as_o they_o have_v real_o great_a cause_n to_o be_v afraid_a and_o if_o they_o return_v not_o to_o prayer_n they_o will_v be_v sure_a to_o go_v from_o bad_a to_o worse_a for_o this_o note_n indeed_o do_v i_o call_v a_o true_a fall_n when_o one_o come_v once_o to_o abhor_v that_o very_a way_n whereby_o they_o purchase_v so_o great_a a_o good_a and_o it_o be_v with_o such_o soul_n that_o i_o be_o speak_v now_o for_o i_o say_v not_o that_o soul_n will_v never_o offend_v god_n nor_o that_o they_o will_v never_o commit_v any_o sin_n though_o yet_o still_o it_o be_v but_o reason_n that_o whosoever_o have_v begin_v to_o receive_v such_o favour_n as_o these_o shall_v be_v very_o careful_a to_o keep_v themselves_o from_o commit_v any_o but_o in_o fine_a we_o be_v miserable_a creature_n and_o that_o which_o i_o advise_v very_o earnest_o be_v that_o they_o will_v not_o give-ove_a their_o prayer_n for_o there_o shall_v they_o come_v to_o know_v what_o they_o be_v do_v and_o there_o shall_v they_o gain_v sorrow_n for_o have_v leave_v our_o lord_n and_o strength_n to_o rise_v again_o and_o let_v that_o soul_n believe_v and_o let_v she_o do_v it_o home_n that_o if_o she_o depart_v from_o prayer_n she_o grow_v in_o my_o opinion_n to_o run_v great_a hazard_n i_o know_v not_o whether_o i_o hit_v right_a in_o what_o i_o say_v but_o at_o least_o i_o judge_v of_o other_o by_o myself_o but_o now_o in_o the_o mean_a time_n this_o kind_n of_o prayer_n be_v a_o certain_a spark_n of_o the_o fire_n of_o that_o true_a love_n which_o our_o lord_n begin_v to_o kindle_v in_o a_o soul_n and_o his_o pleasure_n also_o be_v that_o the_o same_o soul_n shall_v go_v understanding_n what_o kind_n of_o thing_n this_o love_n be_v and_o what_o kind_n of_o great_a regalo_n and_o delight_n it_o bring_v this_o quiet_a and_o recollection_n and_o little_a spark_n if_o indeed_o it_o be_v of_o the_o spirit_n of_o god_n and_o not_o a_o gust_n either_o give_v by_o the_o devil_n or_o yet_o procure_v by_o ourselves_o though_o yet_o still_o one_o who_o have_v experience_n can_v possible_o but_o understand_v at_o the_o very_a instant_n that_o it_o be_v no_o such_o thing_n as_o can_v be_v acquire_v save_o that_o even_o in_o our_o very_a natural_a condition_n we_o be_v so_o greedy_a of_o all_o that_o which_o be_v savoury_a that_o we_o will_v needs_o taste_v of_o all_o but_o if_o as_o i_o say_v it_o be_v of_o the_o devil_n we_o quick_o grow_v again_o to_o be_v very_o cold_a and_o how_o much_o soever_o we_o ourselves_o may_v begin_v to_o make_v this_o fire_n also_o burn_v for_o the_o procure_n of_o this_o gust_n we_o seem_v to_o have_v indeed_o a_o mind_n to_o do_v no_o other_o business_n hereby_o then_o to_o cast-on_a water_n enough_o to_o quench_v it_o whereas_o if_o in_o very_a deed_n this_o little_a spark_n be_v of_o divine_a love_n and_o be_v convey_v by_o almighty_a god_n into_o the_o soul_n how_o small_a and_o poor_a soever_o it_o be_v it_o will_v find_v some_o shift_n or_o other_o to_o make_v a_o mighty_a noise_n and_o if_o the_o soul_n do_v not_o quench_v it_o by_o her_o own_o fault_n this_o prove_v that_o very_a thing_n which_o begin_v to_o make_v a_o huge_a kind_n of_o fire_n and_o send_v forth_o great_a flame_n from_o itself_o as_o i_o shall_v declare_v in_o fit_a place_n of_o that_o mighty_a love_n of_o god_n which_o his_o divine_a majesty_n be_v gracious_o please_v that_o perfect_a soul_n shall_v enjoy_v and_o this_o very_a spark_n be_v a_o certain_a kind_n of_o sign_n and_o even_o pawn_v
which_o his_o divine_a majesty_n give_v to_o that_o soul_n to_o show_v that_o he_o choose_v she_o out_o for_o great_a thing_n if_o she_o will_v make_v herself_o fit_a to_o receive_v they_o i_o say_v this_o be_v a_o mighty_a gift_n yea_o and_o far_o great_a than_o i_o be_o any_o way_n able_a to_o express_v and_o it_o be_v matter_n of_o much_o grief_n to_o i_o that_o as_o i_o be_v say_v i_o know_v many_o soul_n which_o arrive_v thus_o far_o and_o that_o yet_o there_o be_v so_o very_a few_o which_o pass_v further_a at_o least_o as_o they_o ought_v to_o pass_v that_o i_o be_o even_o ashamed_a to_o confess_v it_o i_o say_v not_o that_o there_o be_v so_o very_a few_o who_o pass_v on_o for_o it_o may_v very_o well_o be_v that_o there_o be_v many_o for_o god_n do_v not_o sustain_v we_o for_o nothing_o but_o i_o only_o speak_v of_o such_o as_o i_o have_v see_v for_o my_o part_n i_o will_v earnest_o wish_v they_o not_o to_o hide_v their_o talon_n since_o it_o seem_v almighty_a god_n choose_v they_o out_o for_o the_o profit_n of_o many_o other_o and_o especial_o in_o these_o time_n when_o it_o be_v so_o necessary_a that_o his_o divine_a majesty_n shall_v have_v strong_a friend_n to_o support_v and_o uphold_v such_o as_o be_v weak_a and_o let_v they_o all_o who_o find_v that_o they_o have_v receive_v this_o great_a favour_n at_o our_o lord_n hand_n esteem_v themselves_o for_o strong_a if_o they_o know_v how_o to_o correspond_v well_o with_o the_o law_n which_o a_o firm_a and_o fast_o friendship_n even_o of_o this_o very_a world_n require_v and_o if_o they_o will_v not_o let_v they_o apprehend_v very_o much_o and_o fear_v that_o they_o shall_v do_v themselves_o a_o great_a deal_n of_o hurt_n yea_o and_o i_o pray_v god_n that_o it_o may_v be_v to_o none_o but_o themselves_o that_o prayer_n which_o the_o soul_n be_v to_o do_v in_o these_o time_n of_o enjoy_v this_o quiet_a be_v but_o only_o note_n that_o with_o suavitie_n and_o without_o noise_n she_o employ_v the_o will_n to_o understand_v with_o much_o calmness_n and_o discretion_n that_o the_o soul_n be_v not_o to_o negotiate_v with_o almighty_a god_n by_o the_o strength_n of_o the_o arme._n i_o call_v it_o noise_n if_o the_o understanding_n go_v seekingout_n many_o word_n and_o consideration_n to_o give_v thanks_o for_o this_o benefit_n and_o to_o make_v up_o a_o mighty_a heap_n of_o her_o defect_n and_o sin_n to_o show_v that_o she_o deserve_v not_o this_o favour_n for_o all_o be_v in_o motion_n now_o and_o the_o understanding_n represent_v many_o thing_n to_o we_o and_o the_o memory_n be_v boil_v up_o and_o real_o these_o power_n of_o the_o mind_n be_v wont_a to_o give_v i_o trouble_v enough_o at_o time_n and_o in_o regard_n that_o i_o have_v but_o a_o weak_a memory_n i_o can_v in_o these_o case_n subdue_v they_o but_o those_o other_o consideration_n and_o mental_a discourse_n be_v indeed_o no_o better_o then_o as_o so_o many_o great_a log_n of_o wood_n which_o be_v lay_v with_o small_a discretion_n upon_o that_o little_a spark_n of_o fire_n to_o quench_v it_o and_o therefore_o let_v she_o know_v and_o say_v with_o great_a humility_n o_o lord_n what_o be_o i_o able_a to_o do_v here_o what_o have_v this_o servant_n or_o slave_n to_o do_v with_o the_o lord_n of_o heaven_n and_o earth_n or_o else_o she_o may_v use_v such_o other_o word_n as_o shall_v present_v themselves_o then_o in_o the_o way_n of_o love._n but_o note_v here_o that_o she_o must_v be_v very_o very_o well_o ground_v upon_o know_v that_o to_o be_v true_a which_o she_o say_v now_o as_o for_o that_o which_o concern_v the_o understanding_n let_v the_o soul_n consider_v it_o no_o otherwise_o then_o mere_o as_o if_o it_o be_v a_o miller_n and_o if_o she_o will_v needs_o give_v it_o part_n of_o that_o which_o she_o enjoy_v or_o shall_v labour_v to_o recollect_v it_o also_o to_o herself_o she_o will_v find_v that_o it_o be_v not_o to_o prove_v well_o with_o she_o for_o many_o time_n it_o be_v see_v that_o during_o this_o union_n and_o repose_v or_o rest_n in_o the_o will_n the_o understanding_n be_v still_o much_o out_o of_o order_n and_o if_o the_o will_n can_v be_v be_v able_a to_o arrest_v it_o it_o be_v better_a to_o let_v it_o alone_o then_o that_o she_o shall_v still_o go_v hunt_v after_o it_o i_o say_v the_o will._n but_o let_v it_o remain_v enjoy_v that_o favour_n and_o be_v recollect_v and_o shutup_a in_o itself_o like_o a_o wise_a comparison_n bee_n for_o if_o no_o one_o of_o the_o bee_n shall_v go_v into_o the_o hive_n but_o all_o be_v gad_v abroad_o so_o to_o be_v still_o ferch_v one_o another_o home_n there_o will_v little_a store_n of_o honey_n be_v make_v and_o so_o a_o soul_n will_v loose_v very_o much_o if_o she_o be_v not_o well_o advertise_v of_o this_o and_o especial_o if_o the_o understanding_n be_v quick_a and_o sharp_a for_o if_o once_o such_o a_o one_o begin_v to_o put_v discourse_n in_o order_n and_o light_n upon_o some_o pretty_a reason_n to_o the_o purpose_n she_o will_v if_o they_o be_v handsome_o say_v begin_v to_o think_v that_o she_o perform_v some_o great_a exploit_n but_o the_o discourse_n which_o be_v to_o be_v use_v here_o must_v be_v a_o know_v clear_o and_o confess_v plain_o that_o there_o be_v no_o other_o reason_n at_o all_o why_o almighty_a god_n shall_v ever_o do_v we_o so_o great_a a_o favour_n than_o his_o own_o only_o goodness_n and_o to_o consider_v that_o we_o be_v now_o approach_v so_o near_o to_o he_o and_o to_o beg_v favour_n of_o he_o and_o to_o beseech_v he_o also_o for_o his_o church_n and_o for_o all_o such_o as_o have_v recommend_v themselves_o to_o we_o and_o so_o also_o for_o the_o soul_n in_o purgatory_n and_o this_o not_o by_o the_o noise_n of_o word_n but_o only_o by_o a_o feel_a desire_n to_o be_v hear_v by_o his_o divine_a majesty_n this_o be_v a_o prayer_n which_o comprehend_v very_o much_o and_o we_o shall_v obtain_v more_o thereby_o then_o by_o multiply_v much_o roll_a discourse_n by_o way_n of_o the_o understanding_n but_o let_v the_o will_n stirr-up_a herself_o by_o some_o reason_n which_o will_v easy_o represent_v themselves_o to_o she_o then_o when_o she_o find_v herself_o to_o be_v so_o very_a much_o improve_v to_o quicken-up_a her_o love_n and_o to_o make_v she_o perform_v certain_a amorous_a act_n of_o how_o great_a thing_n she_o will_v be_v glad_a to_o do_v for_o one_o to_o who_o she_o owe_v so_o very_a much_o without_o admit_v and_o permit_v as_o i_o say_v that_o the_o understanding_n part_n shall_v make_v a_o noise_n in_o the_o search_n and_o pretence_n of_o do_v high_a and_o mighty_a matter_n for_o here_o any_o few_o little_a poor_a straw_n present_v and_o offered-up_a with_o humility_n and_o they_o may_v be_v sure_a enough_o to_o be_v straw_n if_o we_o bring_v they_o will_v make_v a_o great_a deal_n more_o to_o the_o purpose_n and_o will_v help_v to_o kindle_v a_o good_a fire_n more_o quick_o than_o a_o great_a deal_n of_o big_a log_n of_o wood_n will_v be_v able_a to_o do_v i_o mean_v reason_n which_o in_o our_o opinion_n shall_v be_v very_o sure_a to_o quench_v and_o putout_a the_o fire_n even_o in_o the_o turn_n of_o a_o hand_n this_o be_v good_a for_o learned_a man_n who_o command_v i_o to_o write_v all_o this_o for_o through_o the_o goodness_n of_o god_n it_o may_v be_v hope_v that_o all_o of_o they_o arrive_v hither_o and_o it_o may_v perhaps_o so_o happen_v among_o they_o that_o this_o time_n will_v pass_v away_o in_o apply_v some_o place_n of_o scripture_n but_o though_o that_o kind_n of_o knowledge_n can_v not_o fail_v to_o be_v useful_a to_o they_o both_o before_o such_o occasion_n as_o these_o and_o also_o after_o yet_o at_o these_o very_a time_n of_o prayer_n there_o will_v be_v little_a occasion_n to_o use_v it_o in_o my_o opinion_n unless_o they_o have_v a_o mind_n to_o cool_v the_o feruorous_a employment_n of_o the_o will._n for_o the_o understanding_n find_v itself_o then_o to_o possess_v such_o a_o excessive_a kind_n of_o claritie_n by_o be_v so_o near_o to_o light_v itself_o that_o even_o i_o with_o be_v so_o poor_a and_o miserable_a as_o i_o be_o seem_v to_o be_v another_o kind_n of_o creature_n and_o it_o be_v most_o certain_o true_a that_o it_o have_v happen_v to_o i_o be_v in_o this_o kind_n of_o quiet_a and_o without_o understanding_n in_o effect_n any_o thing_n of_o the_o prayer_n which_o be_v recite_v in_o latin_a and_o especial_o of_o the_o psalter_n that_o not_o only_o i_o understand_v the_o verse_n in_o spanish_a but_o i_o pass_v also_o yet_o further_o on_o and_o delight_v myself_o high_o in_o consider_v what_o the_o meaning_n of_o that_o spanish_a be_v i_o speak_v not_o
need_n also_o of_o such_o consideration_n as_o these_o and_o there_o be_v time_n when_o almighty_a god_n will_v try_v they_o nay_o it_o will_v seem_v as_o if_o this_o divine_a majesty_n will_v forsake_v they_o for_o as_o i_o have_v say_v already_o and_o i_o will_v fain_o not_o have_v it_o be_v forget_v the_o soul_n in_o this_o life_n which_o we_o live_v increase_v not_o as_o the_o body_n do_v though_o yet_o we_o say_v it_o do_v and_o real_o it_o do_v increase_v but_o yet_o a_o child_n after_o he_o be_v grow_v and_o become_v tall_a and_o prove_v to_o be_v already_o a_o man_n return_v not_o to_o decrease_v again_o and_o to_o have_v a_o little_a body_n yet_o now_o in_o the_o point_n of_o a_o soul_n our_o lord_n will_v have_v it_o be_v otherwise_o by_o what_o i_o have_v see_v of_o myself_o for_o i_o know_v it_o not_o in_o respect_n of_o other_o and_o it_o ought_v to_o humble_v we_o for_o our_o own_o great_a good_a and_o to_o the_o end_n also_o that_o we_o may_v not_o be_v negligent_a as_o long_o as_o we_o shall_v be_v in_o this_o bannishment_n since_o he_o who_o be_v high_a in_o virtue_n shall_v do_v well_o to_o fear_v himself_o most_o and_o to_o trust_v himself_o lest_o the_o time_n perhaps_o may_v come_v when_o even_o they_o who_o have_v their_o will_n so_o conform_v to_o the_o holy_a will_n of_o almighty_a god_n that_o they_o will_v rather_o be_v torment_v and_o endure_v a_o thousand_o death_n then_o swerve_v from_o it_o shall_v do_v well_o to_o be_v in_o doubt_n that_o even_o they_o may_v grow_v to_o fall_v into_o some_o great_a offence_n of_o his_o divine_a majesty_n and_o so_o there_o be_v certain_a time_n when_o they_o shall_v see_v themselves_o so_o assault_v by_o temptation_n and_o persecution_n that_o to_o the_o end_n they_o may_v not_o commit_v gross_a sin_n they_o will_v have_v need_n to_o serve_v themselves_o of_o the_o first_o defensive_a weapon_n of_o prayer_n and_o return_v to_o remember_v and_o consider_v that_o all_o the_o world_n be_v final_o to_o end_v and_o that_o there_o be_v a_o heaven_n and_o a_o hell_n and_o to_o use_v such_o consideration_n as_o these_o but_o now_o return_v to_o what_o i_o be_v say_v a_o great_a foundation_n it_o be_v for_o be_v free_v from_o the_o subtle_a enterprise_n and_o gust_n which_o the_o devil_n be_v wont_a to_o give_v to_o begin_v with_o a_o firm_a document_n purpose_n at_o the_o very_a first_o to_o walk_v in_o the_o way_n of_o the_o cross_n and_o to_o desire_v no_o such_o thing_n as_o gust_n since_o our_o lord_n himself_o show_v this_o way_n of_o perfection_n by_o say_v take_v thou_o up_o thy_o cross_n and_o follow_v i_o for_o he_o be_v to_o be_v our_o pattern_n and_o whosoever_o shall_v follow_v his_o counsel_n and_o that_o for_o no_o other_o reason_n then_o to_o content_v he_o may_v be_v sure_a that_o he_o shall_v have_v nothing_o to_o fear_v and_o by_o the_o spiritual_a profit_n which_o they_o shall_v find_v in_o themselves_o they_o will_v easy_o come_v to_o know_v that_o the_o devil_n have_v no_o hand_n therein_o and_o though_o they_o shall_v even_o return_v to_o fall_v again_o there_o will_v yet_o remain_v one_o sign_n that_o our_o lord_n have_v be_v there_o which_o be_v that_o they_o will_v quick_o rise_v again_o beside_o these_o other_o which_o i_o shall_v now_o declare_v when_o it_o be_v the_o spirit_n of_o almighty_a god_n there_o will_v be_v no_o need_n at_o all_o to_o go_v in_o quest_n and_o send_v after_o certain_a reason_n to_o draw_v humility_n and_o confusion_n from_o thence_o for_o our_o bless_a lord_n himself_o be_v wont_a to_o impart_v it_o in_o those_o case_n after_o a_o very_a different_a manner_n from_o that_o which_o ourselves_o can_v procure_v by_o any_o pretty_a little_a consideration_n of_o our_o own_o all_o which_o be_v nothing_o in_o comparison_n of_o a_o certain_a true_a prayer_n humility_n that_o come_v along_o with_o a_o light_n which_o our_o lord_n instruct_v we_o in_o here_o and_o which_o breed_v such_o a_o real_a confusion_n in_o we_o as_o even_o do_v entire_o defeat_v us._n and_o the_o knowledge_n which_o almighty_a god_n be_v wont_a to_o give_v we_o to_o the_o end_n that_o we_o may_v perfect_o understand_v that_o we_o have_v no_o good_a at_o all_o of_o ourselves_o be_v a_o thing_n very_o sufficient_o perceive_v and_o still_o so_o much_o the_o more_o as_o we_o receive_v the_o high_a favour_n from_o his_o hand_n it_o also_o impart_v to_o a_o man_n a_o very_a great_a desire_n to_o proceed_v in_o prayer_n and_o he_o will_v not_o give_v it_o over_o for_o any_o trouble_n which_o may_v possible_o succeed_v to_o he_o he_o offer_v himself_o and_o be_v ready_a to_o endure_v all_o thing_n he_o have_v also_o a_o kind_n of_o assure_a hope_n that_o he_o shall_v be_v save_v though_o yet_o still_o not_o without_o humility_n and_o fear_n by_o this_o time_n he_o also_o instant_o forsake_v all_o kind_n of_o servile_a fear_n of_o his_o soul_n and_o it_o give_v a_o great_a deal_n of_o growth_n to_o a_o filial_a fear_n in_o stead_n thereof_o he_o see_v that_o now_o he_o begin_v to_o bear_v a_o certain_a love_n towards_o almighty_a god_n which_o be_v far_o from_o any_o interest_n of_o his_o own_o &_o he_o covet_v to_o get_v time_n for_o solitude_n that_o so_o he_o may_v have_v the_o better_a opportunity_n to_o enjoy_v that_o good_a in_o fine_a that_o i_o may_v not_o weary_v myself_o too_o much_o this_o be_v a_o direct_a beginning_n of_o all_o good_a thing_n a_o state_n wherein_o the_o flower_n be_v now_o upon_o the_o very_a point_n to_o blossom_n and_o all_o this_o the_o soul_n see_v very_o clear_o and_o can_v by_o no_o mean_n at_o that_o time_n conceive_v but_o that_o god_n be_v and_o will_v be_v with_o she_o till_o such_o time_n as_o she_o shall_v return_v to_o find_v herself_o guilty_a of_o fayling_n and_o imperfection_n towards_o he_o for_o in_o that_o case_n she_o fear_v all_o thing_n and_o it_o be_v fit_a that_o she_o do_v so_o though_o yet_o there_o be_v mind_n soul_n in_o the_o world_n to_o which_o it_o prove_v more_o useful_a to_o believe_v for_o a_o most_o certain_a truth_n that_o they_o be_v well_o with_o almighty_a god_n then_o all_o the_o fear_n of_o the_o world_n be_v able_a to_o give_v they_o for_o if_o the_o soul_n in_o herself_o be_v apt_a to_o be_v enamour_v and_o grateful_a the_o memory_n of_o that_o great_a favour_n which_o god_n do_v she_o will_v be_v of_o more_o power_n to_o make_v her_o return_n to_o his_o divine_a majesty_n than_o all_o the_o torment_n of_o hell_n which_o they_o can_v possible_o be_v ever_o able_a to_o represent_v at_o least_o as_o wicked_a as_o i_o be_o it_o happen_v after_o this_o manner_n to_o i_o now_o as_o for_o the_o sign_n of_o a_o good_a spirit_n i_o will_v speak_v of_o they_o hereafter_o more_o at_o large_a for_o now_o i_o can_v do_v it_o since_o it_o cost_v i_o so_o much_o trouble_v of_o many_o kind_n to_o get_v they_o write_v our_o fair_a and_o i_o believe_v that_o with_o the_o favour_n of_o our_o lord_n i_o may_v be_v able_a to_o hit_v right_a in_o this_o kind_n for_o beside_o the_o experience_n which_o i_o have_v whereby_o i_o come_v to_o understand_v many_o thing_n i_o know_v somewhat_o by_o mean_n of_o some_o learned_a man_n who_o indeed_o be_v very_o learned_a and_o of_o some_o person_n be_v also_o who_o be_v very_o holy_a to_o who_o it_o be_v great_a reason_n to_o give_v beleif_n and_o therefore_o let_v not_o other_o soul_n be_v so_o very_a much_o afflict_v and_o vex_v as_o i_o have_v be_v when_o once_o through_o the_o goodness_n of_o almighty_a god_n they_o shall_v be_v come_v on_o so_o far_o as_o to_o find_v themselves_o in_o this_o state_n the_o sixteen_o chapter_n she_o treat_v of_o the_o three_o degree_n of_o prayer_n and_o go_v declare_v some_o very_a high_a point_n and_o what_o a_o soul_n which_o arrive_v thus_o far_o may_v be_v able_a to_o do_v and_o what_o effect_n these_o so_o great_a favour_n of_o our_o lord_n be_v accustom_v to_o work_n the_o sense_n hereof_o be_v very_o fit_a to_o raise_v the_o spirit_n high_a in_o the_o praise_n of_o almighty_a god_n and_o it_o be_v also_o of_o great_a consolation_n for_o the_o soul_n which_o arrive_v to_o this_o state_n let_v we_o now_o come_v to_o speak_v of_o the_o three_o water_n wherewith_o this_o garden_n be_v water_v for_o this_o be_v a_o run_a water_n of_o a_o river_n or_o spring_n and_o it_o water_v it_o with_o much_o less_o labour_n though_o yet_o the_o distribution_n thereof_o cause_v some_o our_o lord_n will_v here_o so_o help_v the_o gardener_n that_o in_o some_o sort_n he_o will_v be_v as_o it_o be_v the_o gardener_n himself_o and_o in_o effect_n the_o doer_n of_o all_o this_o be_v
a_o sweet_a repose_n or_o sleep_v of_o all_o the_o power_n which_o be_v yet_o neither_o total_o lose_v nor_o yet_o do_v they_o know_v how_o they_o work_v this_o gust_n and_o delight_n and_o suavitie_n be_v great_a beyond_o all_o comparison_n than_o the_o former_a for_o the_o water_n of_o this_o grace_n gets-up_a to_o the_o very_a throat_n of_o the_o soul_n in_o such_o sort_n that_o now_o it_o can_v go_v forward_o nor_o know_v how_o to_o do_v it_o nor_o yet_o will_v by_o any_o mean_n return_v backward_o but_o enjoy_v a_o excessive_a kind_n of_o glory_n it_o be_v as_o when_o a_o man_n be_v already_o with_o the_o holy_a die_v candle_n in_o his_o hand_n so_o that_o now_o there_o want_v very_o little_a of_o die_v but_o it_o be_v of_o that_o very_a death_n which_o be_v desire_v for_o she_o be_v enjoy_v the_o great_a delight_n that_o can_v be_v imagine_v in_o that_o agony_n of_o she_o and_o i_o think_v it_o be_v no_o other_o thing_n then_o even_o to_o die_v as_o it_o be_v entire_o to_o all_o the_o thing_n of_o this_o world_n and_o to_o be_v enjoy_v almighty_a god_n for_o my_o part_n i_o can_v think_v of_o no_o other_o term_n wherewith_o to_o express_v it_o or_o declare_v it_o nor_o know_v the_o soul_n at_o that_o time_n what_o to_o do_v nor_o whether_o she_o shall_v speak_v or_o be_v silent_a or_o laugh_v or_o weep_v mind_n it_o be_v a_o glorious_a kind_n of_o frenzy_n and_o a_o celestial_a kind_n of_o folly_n where_o yet_o true_a wisdom_n be_v learn_v and_o it_o be_v a_o most_o delightful_a manner_n of_o enjoy_v for_o the_o soul_n in_o a_o superlative_a degree_n it_o be_v true_a that_o it_o may_v be_v about_o some_o five_o or_o six_o year_n since_o first_o our_o lord_n vouchsafe_v to_o allow_v i_o this_o kind_n of_o prayer_n often_o and_o in_o great_a abundance_n and_o that_o i_o neither_o do_v either_o perfect_o understand_v it_o nor_o yet_o can_v exact_o declare_v it_o and_o for_o my_o part_n i_o make_v account_v when_o i_o be_v come_v hither_o that_o i_o can_v say_v either_o little_a or_o nothing_o and_o yet_o i_o well_o understand_v that_o this_o be_v not_o a_o entire_a union_n of_o all_o the_o power_n of_o the_o soul_n and_o yet_o still_o that_o it_o be_v clear_o more_o than_o may_v be_v find_v in_o the_o former_a degree_n of_o prayer_n and_o yet_o withal_o i_o must_v ever_o confess_v that_o i_o can_v not_o tell_v how_o to_o know_v and_o much_o less_o exact_o determine_v what_o this_o difference_n be_v but_o i_o well_o believe_v that_o for_o the_o humility_n which_o your_o reverence_n have_v show_v in_o be_v desirous_a to_o help_v yourself_o by_o so_o great_a a_o simplicity_n as_o i_o our_o lord_n give_v i_o this_o prayer_n this_o day_n immediate_o after_o my_o receive_v the_o b._n sacrament_n yet_o without_o my_o be_v able_a to_o go_v forward_o and_o he_o put_v these_o comparison_n into_o my_o head_n and_o teach_v i_o the_o manner_n how_o to_o express_v they_o and_o what_o the_o soul_n be_v to_o do_v in_o these_o case_n and_o real_o i_o be_v amaze_v at_o it_o for_o i_o understand_v all_o this_o business_n at_o a_o instant_n many_o time_n i_o be_v as_o it_o be_v out_o of_o myself_o and_o as_o if_o i_o have_v be_v even_o inebriate_v with_o this_o love_n and_o yet_o i_o can_v never_o understand_v how_o it_o be_v only_o i_o know_v very_o well_o that_o it_o be_v god_n but_o i_o can_v not_o tell_v the_o manner_n how_o he_o wrought_v in_o i_o at_o that_o time_n for_o it_o be_v the_o very_a truth_n that_o the_o prayer_n power_n be_v as_o it_o be_v all_o unite_a though_o yet_o not_o so_o ingulf_v but_o that_o still_o they_o work_v and_o i_o have_v be_v extreme_o joy_v that_o at_o length_n i_o be_o come_v to_o understand_v it_o and_o bless_v be_v our_o lord_n for_o ever_o who_o have_v regale_v i_o in_o so_o high_a a_o degree_n these_o power_n have_v only_o now_o ability_n to_o busy_v themselves_o total_o upon_o almighty_a god_n nor_o do_v it_o seem_v that_o any_o of_o they_o now_o even_o dare_v so_o much_o as_o hover_v or_o stir_v not_o as_o it_o be_v breath_n if_o we_o do_v not_o divert_v our_o self_n then_o with_o great_a endeavour_n yea_o and_o even_o so_o i_o think_v we_o can_v scarce_o do_v it_o entire_o at_o that_o time_n a_o multitude_n of_o word_n be_v conceive_v here_o by_o the_o soul_n in_o praise_n of_o our_o lord_n but_o yet_o so_o as_o that_o they_o be_v without_o any_o order_n unless_o our_o lord_n himself_o be_v please_v to_o order_v they_o for_o at_o least_o the_o understanding_n serve_v here_o for_o nothing_o the_o soul_n will_v fain_o cry_v out_o in_o praise_n of_o almighty_a god_n &_o she_o be_v then_o in_o such_o condition_n as_o that_o she_o know_v not_o how_o to_o contain_v herself_o this_o be_v now_o a_o very_a favourie_a kind_n of_o disquiet_n and_o now_o yea_o even_o very_o now_o the_o flower_n open_v themselves_o to_o blossom_n and_o already_o do_v they_o begin_v to_o yield_v their_o odour_n and_o here_o the_o soul_n will_v be_v glad_a that_o all_o the_o world_n may_v be_v able_a to_o see_v and_o understand_v her_o glory_n that_o so_o almighty_a god_n may_v be_v praise_v and_o that_o they_o may_v be_v able_a to_o assist_v she_o therein_o and_o that_o she_o may_v give_v they_o part_v of_o her_o joy_n as_o not_o know_v how_o to_o enjoy_v it_o all_o herself_o i_o think_v she_o be_v now_o to_o be_v like_o she_o of_o the_o gospel_n who_o have_v a_o mind_n to_o call-in_a all_o her_o neighbour_n or_o else_o like_a the_o admirable_a spirit_n of_o the_o royal_a prophet_n david_n who_o may_v feel_v some_o such_o thing_n in_o himself_o as_o this_o when_o he_o play_v upon_o his_o harp_n and_o sing_v in_o honour_n and_o praise_n of_o almighty_a god_n i_o find_v myself_o very_o much_o devote_a to_o this_o glorious_a king_n and_o i_o wish_v that_o all_o the_o world_n be_v so_o especial_o all_o we_o who_o be_v sinner_n o_o my_o dear_a lord_n what_o kind_n of_o thing_n be_v a_o soul_n when_o she_o find_v herself_o in_o such_o a_o condition_n as_o this_o she_o will_v fain_o become_v all_o tongue_n to_o praise_v our_o lord_n she_o utter_v a_o thousand_o holy_a impertinency_n but_o yet_o she_o do_v ever_o endeavour_v to_o hit_v right_a in_o please_v he_o who_o hold_v she_o there_o in_o that_o manner_n i_o know_v of_o a_o certain_a person_n who_o though_o she_o be_v no_o poet_n yet_o instant_o do_v she_o happen_v to_o make_v certain_a verse_n all_o extempore_o which_o be_v very_o significant_a in_o the_o way_n of_o complaint_n &_o declare_v her_o pain_n very_o well_o though_o they_o be_v not_o make_v by_o her_o own_o understanding_n alone_o but_o for_o the_o better_a enjoy_v that_o glory_n which_o give_v she_o so_o delightful_a a_o pain_n she_o complain_v thereof_o to_o her_o god_n she_o wish_v that_o she_o may_v be_v all_o tear_v in_o piece_n both_o in_o body_n and_o soul_n to_o show_v the_o joy_n she_o find_v to_o feel_v this_o pain_n what_o torment_n can_v then_o be_v set_v before_o she_o which_o then_o she_o will_v not_o be_v glad_a to_o endure_v for_o the_o love_n of_o our_o lord_n she_o clear_o see_v that_o the_o martyr_n do_v very_o little_a on_o their_o part_n when_o they_o suffer_v torment_n for_o the_o soul_n know_v then_o very_o well_o that_o her_o strength_n come_v to_o she_o by_o some_o other_o way_n then_o from_o herself_o but_o now_o what_o will_v she_o feel_v when_o she_o come_v back_o to_o employ_v her_o wit_n upon_o know_v how_o to_o live_v again_o in_o this_o world_n and_o to_o return_v both_o to_o the_o care_n and_o compliment_n thereof_o and_o certain_o i_o think_v i_o be_o far_o from_o have_v exaggerated_a any_o thing_n concern_v this_o manner_n of_o joy_n which_o our_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o make_v a_o soul_n possess_v even_o in_o this_o place_n of_o bannishment_n for_o all_o that_o which_o i_o have_v say_v of_o it_o be_v very_o poor_a and_o mean_v in_o comparison_n of_o what_o it_o be_v in_o itself_o bless_a be_v thou_o for_o ever_o o_o lord_n and_o let_v all_o thing_n praise_v thou_o for_o ever_o and_o be_v please_v o_o my_o king_n i_o most_o humble_o beseech_v and_o beg_v at_o thy_o hand_n that_o since_o when_o even_o now_o i_o be_o not_o whole_o out_o of_o this_o holy_a celestial_a frenzy_n or_o folly_n which_o through_o thy_o goodness_n and_o mercy_n and_o so_o whole_o without_o any_o merit_n of_o i_o thou_o do_v i_o the_o great_a favour_n to_o impart_v either_o all_o such_o person_n as_o with_o who_o i_o shall_v have_v occasion_n to_o converse_v may_v be_v even_o as_o it_o be_v mad_a fool_n for_o thy_o love_n or_o else_o dispose_v thou_o so_o of_o i_o as_o that_o
i_o may_v never_o converse_v more_o with_o any_o creature_n or_o else_o final_o o_o lord_n give_v order_n that_o i_o may_v have_v nothing_o to_o do_v in_o this_o world_n or_o at_o least_o take_v i_o out_o of_o it_o quite_o for_o now_o already_o o_o my_o god_n this_o servant_n of_o thou_o be_v no_o long_o able_a to_o endure_v so_o great_a affliction_n as_o she_o feel_v to_o come_v upon_o she_o by_o her_o be_v thus_o without_o thou_o and_o if_o she_o needs_o must_v live_v she_o desire_v to_o have_v no_o ease_n in_o this_o life_n nor_o indeed_o do_v thou_o give_v she_o any_o for_o it_o be_v death_n to_o she_o to_o see_v herself_o eat_v she_o be_v afflict_v by_o the_o sleep_n she_o take_v she_o find_v that_o her_o whole_a life_n be_v spend_v and_o past_a through_o in_o regalo_n and_o yet_o that_o now_o there_o be_v nothing_o but_o thyself_o who_o can_v indeed_o regale_n she_o so_o that_o it_o seem_v i_o live_v now_o even_o against_o nature_n since_o now_o i_o will_v fain_o not_o live_v in_o myself_o but_o only_o in_o thou_o o_o thou_o my_o true_a lord_n and_o my_o glory_n how_o delicate_a and_o yet_o how_o huge_o heavy_a be_v that_o cross_n which_o thou_o have_v prepare_v and_o provide_v for_o such_o as_o arrive_v to_o this_o state_n it_o be_v delicate_a because_o it_o be_v incredible_o sweet_a and_o it_o be_v heavy_a because_o there_o grow_v to_o be_v certain_a time_n when_o there_o be_v not_o patience_n enough_o in_o the_o whole_a world_n to_o enable_v we_o to_o endure_v it_o and_o yet_o the_o soul_n will_v never_o desire_v to_o be_v free_a from_o it_o unless_o it_o be_v to_o the_o end_n that_o she_o may_v find_v herself_o once_o to_o be_v with_o thou_o and_o when_o also_o the_o same_o soul_n remember_v that_o she_o be_v never_o able_a to_o do_v thou_o service_n in_o any_o thing_n and_o that_o by_o continue_v to_o live_v it_o may_v yet_o perhaps_o be_v possible_a for_o she_o to_o serve_v thou_o she_o will_v be_v glad_a if_o she_o may_v lie_v under_o a_o very_a much_o more_o heavy_a burden_n than_o the_o former_a yea_o and_o that_o she_o may_v also_o never_o die_v even_o till_o the_o very_a end_n of_o the_o world_n she_o value_v not_o any_o manner_n of_o repose_n or_o rest_n so_o much_o as_o to_o the_o weight_n of_o one_o hair_n in_o comparison_n of_o do_v thou_o any_o poor_a little_a service_n nor_o do_v she_o know_v what_o more_o to_o desire_v but_o she_o be_v only_o sure_a of_o thus_o much_o that_o she_o desire_v nothing_o but_o thyself_o o_o my_o son_n for_o you_o to_o who_o this_o be_v direct_v and_o who_o have_v command_v i_o to_o write_v it_o be_v so_o humble_a that_o you_o will_v needs_o be_v call_v by_o that_o name_n let_v these_o thing_n be_v only_o for_o yourself_o when_o you_o see_v that_o i_o be_o go_v out_o of_o all_o limit_n for_o there_o be_v no_o kind_n of_o reason_n which_o suffice_v to_o keep_v i_o from_o leave_v the_o use_n of_o humane_a reason_n when_o our_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o draw_v i_o thus_o out_o of_o myself_o nor_o do_v i_o know_v or_o believe_v that_o it_o be_v i_o who_o be_o speak_v thus_o ever_o since_o i_o receive_v the_o b._n sacrament_n this_o morning_n for_o i_o think_v i_o do_v but_o dream_v of_o what_o i_o see_v and_o i_o will_v be_v glad_a not_o to_o see_v any_o other_o than_o such_o as_o be_v sick_a of_o that_o very_a same_o disease_n which_o be_v now_o upon_o i_o i_o humble_o beseech_v your_o reverence_n that_o we_o may_v all_o become_v like_o mad_a fool_n for_o his_o love_n who_o be_v content_a to_o be_v call_v fool_n for_o the_o love_n of_o us._n and_o since_o your_o reverence_n say_v that_o you_o wish_v i_o so_o cordial_o well_o i_o desire_v that_o you_o will_v show_v it_o by_o dispose_v yourself_o in_o such_o sort_n as_o that_o our_o lord_n may_v do_v you_o this_o favour_n for_o i_o see_v there_o be_v very_o few_o man_n who_o have_v not_o more_o wit_n than_o even_o they_o need_v for_o the_o effect_v such_o thing_n as_o they_o hold_v to_o concern_v they_o but_o now_o perhaps_o i_o may_v have_v more_o than_o they_o all_o but_o do_v not_o you_o suffer_v this_o my_o dear_a father_n since_o you_o be_v so_o as_o well_o as_o my_o son_n because_o you_o be_v my_o confessarius_fw-la to_o who_o hand_n i_o have_v commit_v the_o care_n of_o my_o soul_n but_o unbeguile_v i_o by_o tell_v i_o truth_n though_o truth_n be_v now_o aday_n seldom_o tell_v and_o now_o i_o will_v be_v very_o glad_a that_o we_o five_o who_o at_o the_o present_a love_v one_o another_o in_o christ_n our_o lord_n that_o i_o say_v as_o other_o meet_v in_o secret_a against_o the_o service_n of_o his_o divine_a majesty_n for_o the_o order_n of_o their_o wickedness_n and_o their_o heresy_n we_o also_o may_v procure_v sometime_o to_o meet_v for_o the_o disabuse_v one_o another_o and_o to_o confer_v how_o we_o may_v reform_v ourselves_o and_o give_v almighty_a god_n more_o gust_n for_o there_o be_v no_o creature_n that_o know_v himself_o so_o well_o as_o they_o do_v who_o look_v upon_o we_o so_o that_o it_o be_v with_o true_a love_n and_o care_n of_o our_o amendment_n i_o speak_v of_o this_o as_o a_o secret_a and_o in_o your_o care_n for_o now_o already_o no_o such_o language_n as_o this_o be_v use_v when_o even_o preacher_n themselves_o go_v so_o compose_v their_o sermon_n as_o that_o they_o may_v be_v sure_a to_o give_v man_n no_o disgust_n by_o they_o but_o their_o intention_n forsooth_o be_v so_o good_a as_o that_o the_o fruit_n will_v be_v answerable_a to_o it_o and_o so_o we_o see_v how_o few_o grow_v to_o mend_v their_o life_n but_o how_o come_v it_o now_o to_o pass_v that_o they_o be_v not_o very_o many_a who_o give_v over_o to_o be_v public_a in_o follow_v vice_n by_o mean_n of_o those_o sermon_n which_o be_v make_v shall_v i_o tell_v what_o i_o think_v it_o be_v because_o the_o preacher_n make_v themselves_o too_o wise_a not_o yet_o that_o they_o be_v indeed_o without_o wit_n by_o reason_n of_o any_o great_a fire_n of_o the_o love_n of_o almighty_n god_n which_o be_v in_o their_o heart_n as_o the_o apostle_n be_v and_o so_o their_o flame_n falls-out_a to_o give_v but_o very_o little_a heat_n i_o say_v not_o that_o i_o expect_v that_o it_o shall_v be_v so_o great_a as_o they_o be_v but_o yet_o i_o hearty_o wish_v that_o it_o be_v great_a than_o i_o can_v now_o find_v it_o be_v your_o reverence_n know_v in_o what_o very_o much_o will_v consist_v namely_o in_o have_v this_o life_n of_o we_o in_o detestation_n and_o honour_n in_o very_o little_a estimation_n and_o that_o rather_o than_o fail_v both_o to_o speak_v truth_n and_o to_o maintain_v it_o for_o the_o glory_n of_o almighty_a god_n we_o will_v be_v as_o well_o content_v to_o loose_v all_o as_o to_o gain_v all_o for_o whosoever_o be_v resolve_v in_o very_o good_a earnest_n to_o put_v it_o all_o to_o hazard_v for_o the_o love_n of_o our_o bless_a lord_n will_v be_v as_o well_o content_a with_o the_o one_o as_o with_o the_o other_o i_o say_v not_o that_o i_o be_o any_o such_o creature_n but_o i_o hearty_o wish_v i_o be_v o_o great_a and_o gallant_a liberty_n to_o esteem_v it_o for_o a_o direct_a captivity_n to_o be_v bind_v to_o live_v and_o converse_v according_a to_o the_o law_n of_o this_o world_n for_o when_o this_o be_v once_o obtain_v at_o the_o hand_n of_o almighty_a god_n there_o be_v not_o so_o base_a a_o slave_n upon_o earth_n as_o will_v not_o venture_v all_o that_o so_o he_o may_v redeem_v himself_o and_o return_v home_o to_o his_o own_o country_n and_o since_o this_o wherein_o we_o be_v be_v the_o true_a way_n there_o be_v neither_o cause_n nor_o colour_n why_o we_o shall_v desire_v to_o loiter_v in_o it_o for_o we_o shall_v never_o finish_v the_o gain_n of_o so_o great_a a_o treasure_n till_o our_o lord_n give_v we_o his_o grace_n to_o do_v it_o well_o i_o humble_o pray_v your_o reverence_n to_o tear_v this_o which_o i_o have_v write_v if_o you_o think_v fit_a and_o pardon_v i_o for_o i_o have_v presume_v too_o far_o the_o seaventeenth_n chapter_n she_o prosecute_v the_o same_o argument_n about_o this_o three_o degree_n of_o prayer_n and_o finish_v the_o declaration_n of_o the_o effect_n which_o it_o work_n and_o declare_v also_o the_o disadvantage_n which_o the_o memory_n and_o imagination_n be_v wont_a to_o bring_v in_o this_o case_n i_o have_v already_o speak_v to_o some_o good_a proportion_n of_o this_o manner_n of_o prayer_n and_o of_o that_o which_o the_o soul_n be_v to_o perform_v therein_o or_o rather_o of_o what_o god_n do_v in_o she_o for_o now_o it_o be_v himself_o who_o take_v the_o office_n of_o gardner_n
soul_n do_v at_o that_o time_n and_o our_o lord_n say_v this_o to_o i_o in_o these_o word_n it_o do_v my_o daughter_n dissolve_v and_o defeat_v itself_o to_o be_v so_o the_o more_o ingulfed_a in_o i_o for_o now_o it_o be_v no_o long_o she_o who_o live_v but_o i_o and_o since_o she_o can_v comprehend_v that_o which_o she_o understand_v her_o very_a understanding_n it_o after_o a_o kind_n of_o moral_a way_n which_o she_o do_v be_v real_o a_o not_o understand_v it_o after_o a_o strict_a &_o comprehensive_a way_n which_o she_o be_v not_o able_a to_o do_v he_o who_o shall_v have_v have_v trial_n of_o this_o by_o experience_n will_v be_v able_a to_o arrive_v to_o the_o expression_n of_o some_o part_n thereof_o but_o as_o for_o i_o i_o can_v deliver_v that_o more_o clear_o which_o pass_v here_o since_o it_o be_v so_o very_o obscure_a i_o can_v only_o say_v that_o in_o this_o case_n their_o be_v then_o so_o close_o to_o almighty_a god_n be_v represent_v to_o they_o and_o there_o remain_v such_o a_o kind_n of_o certainty_n thereof_o that_o it_o can_v possible_o fail_v to_o be_v believe_v and_o now_o here_o all_o the_o power_n of_o the_o soul_n fall_v short_a of_o operation_n and_o be_v suspend_v in_o such_o sort_n that_o by_o no_o mean_n as_o i_o have_v say_v it_o can_v possible_o be_v understand_v that_o they_o work_v if_o she_o be_v think_v of_o some_o mystery_n it_o be_v instant_o so_o forget_v as_o if_o there_o have_v never_o beme_fw-mi any_o such_o thought_n if_o she_o be_v read_v there_o be_v no_o remembrance_n of_o it_o nor_o yet_o of_o pause_v and_o if_o pray_v vocal_o in_o like_a manner_n so_o that_o now_o this_o importunate_a little_a gnatt_n of_o the_o memory_n have_v her_o wing_n burn_v here_o and_o can_v now_o no_o long_o spring-up_a nor_o stir_v the_o will_v also_o be_v now_o employ_v all_o in_o love_v though_o it_o understand_v not_o how_o it_o love_v the_o understanding_n if_o it_o understand_v it_o be_v not_o yet_o understand_v how_o it_o understand_v and_o at_o least_o it_o can_v comprehend_v nothing_o of_o that_o which_o it_o understand_v to_o i_o it_o do_v not_o seem_v that_o it_o understand_v because_o as_o i_o be_v say_v it_o be_v not_o understand_v and_o for_o my_o part_n i_o attain_v not_o to_o understand_v all_o this_o at_o the_o first_o i_o chance_v to_o be_v in_o so_o great_a a_o ignorance_n as_o not_o to_o know_v that_o almighty_a god_n be_v in_o all_o thing_n and_o consider_v how_o very_o present_a i_o conceive_v he_o to_o be_v to_o i_o it_o seem_v impossible_a for_o i_o to_o believe_v the_o contrary_n to_o leave_v therefore_o to_o believe_v that_o he_o be_v there_o i_o can_v not_o because_o it_o seem_v to_o i_o as_o it_o be_v apparent_o and_o clear_o that_o i_o have_v understand_v his_o very_a presence_n to_o be_v there_o some_o man_n who_o be_v not_o learned_a tell_v i_o that_o he_o be_v only_o there_o by_o his_o grace_n which_o still_o i_o can_v not_o possible_o believe_v because_o as_o i_o be_v say_v i_o hold_v he_o to_o be_v direct_o present_a otherwise_o and_o thus_o i_o continue_v with_o some_o trouble_n but_o at_o length_n a_o great_a learned_a man_n of_o the_o order_n of_o the_o glorious_a s._n dominick_n free_v i_o from_o this_o doubt_n and_o tell_v i_o not_o only_o that_o he_o be_v present_a but_o that_o he_o also_o communicate_v himself_o to_o we_o which_o comfort_v i_o very_o much_o but_o now_o it_o be_v here_o to_o be_v note_v and_o understand_v that_o this_o celestial_a water_n be_v always_o a_o most_o eminent_a favour_n of_o our_o lord_n and_o give_v the_o soul_n excessive_o great_a advantage_n as_o i_o shall_v now_o declare_v the_o nineteen_o chapter_n she_o prosecute_v the_o same_o discourse_n and_o begin_v to_o declare_v the_o effect_n which_o this_o degree_n of_o prayer_n work_n in_o the_o soul_n she_o persuade_v man_n earnest_o not_o to_o turn_v back_o nor_o to_o give-ove_a their_o prayer_n though_o they_o shall_v happen_v to_o fall_v even_o after_o they_o have_v receive_v these_o favour_n she_o speak_v of_o the_o great_a harm_n which_o will_v arrive_v to_o they_o if_o they_o do_v otherwise_o this_o discourse_n be_v much_o to_o be_v note_v and_o it_o be_v of_o great_a consolation_n for_o weak_a person_n and_o sinner_n the_o soul_n do_v in_o this_o prayer_n and_o union_n remain_v with_o a_o excessive_a kind_n of_o tenderness_n in_o such_o sort_n that_o she_o will_v feign_v even_o defeat_v and_o dissolve_v herself_o not_o through_o pain_n or_o trouble_v but_o by_o abundance_n of_o tear_n of_o joy_n wherein_o she_o be_v bathe_v without_o so_o much_o as_o feel_v or_o know_v how_o or_o when_o she_o weep_v they_o it_o give_v she_o a_o great_a delight_n to_o find_v the_o impetuous_a force_n of_o that_o fire_n appease_v and_o allay_v by_o water_n which_o yet_o make_v it_o increase_v so_o much_o the_o more_o this_o language_n of_o i_o may_v seem_v to_o be_v a_o kind_n of_o gibberish_n but_o yet_o thus_o stand_v the_o case_n it_o have_v happen_v to_o i_o sometime_o when_o i_o be_v in_o this_o part_n of_o this_o prayer_n to_o be_v so_o prayer_n whole_o out_o of_o myself_o as_o that_o i_o know_v not_o whether_o i_o be_v awake_a or_o asleep_o or_o whither_o in_o very_a deed_n i_o have_v be_v in_o that_o glory_n which_o i_o feel_v and_o whether_o it_o be_v true_a that_o i_o be_v indeed_o so_o all_o bathe_v in_o water_n which_o distil_v with_o such_o force_n and_o speed_n from_o my_o eye_n that_o it_o seem_v as_o if_o a_o very_a cloud_n of_o heaven_n have_v rain_v it_o down_o but_o in_o fine_a i_o find_v that_o it_o be_v no_o dream_n this_o happen_v to_o be_v in_o the_o beginning_n of_o this_o prayer_n and_o it_o pass_v quick_o over_o but_o the_o soul_n remain_v so_o courageous_a thereby_o that_o if_o it_o be_v possible_a for_o she_o to_o be_v cut_v into_o a_o thousand_o piece_n for_o god_n sake_n it_o will_v be_v of_o extreme_a consolation_n to_o she_o and_o now_o here_o come_v in_o all_o her_o promise_n her_o heroical_a resolution_n the_o livelie_a efficacy_n of_o her_o desire_n her_o beginning_n to_o abhor_v the_o world_n her_o clear_o discern_v she_o own_o vanity_n and_o all_o this_o much_o more_o perfect_o and_o more_o high_o than_o it_o happen_v in_o any_o of_o her_o former_a prayer_n her_o humility_n be_v also_o grow_v much_o strong_a for_o now_o she_o very_o clear_o discern_v that_o no_o diligence_n at_o all_o of_o her_o own_o be_v any_o piece_n of_o a_o cause_n for_o bring_v she_o that_o excessive_a and_o incomparable_a favour_n nor_o for_o make_v she_o enjoy_v the_o same_o she_o see_v now_o clear_o that_o she_o be_v a_o most_o unworthy_a creature_n for_o in_o any_o room_n where_o there_o enter_v a_o strong_a and_o clear_a sunbeam_n there_o be_v not_o the_o least_o and_o thin_a cobweb_n which_o can_v lie_v hide_v she_o now_o look_v very_o clear_o upon_o her_o own_o misery_n and_o now_o she_o be_v so_o very_o free_a from_o vainglory_n that_o it_o seem_v a_o kind_n of_o impossible_a thing_n for_o she_o to_o have_v any_o because_o now_o already_o she_o have_v it_o even_o in_o her_o very_a eye_n how_o little_a she_o be_v able_a to_o perform_v or_o rather_o in_o very_a deed_n that_o it_o be_v just_o nothing_o at_o all_o and_o that_o in_o this_o case_n there_o be_v hardly_o so_o much_o as_o any_o consent_n of_o she_o but_o that_o it_o seem_v that_o even_o whether_o she_o will_v or_o no_o they_o shut_v the_o gate_n of_o all_o her_o sense_n up_o to_o the_o end_n that_o she_o may_v so_o the_o better_a enjoy_v her_o lord_n and_o that_o now_o since_o she_o remain_v all_o alone_a with_o he_o what_o can_v she_o have_v to_o do_v but_o to_o love_v he_o she_o neither_o can_v see_v nor_o hear_v unless_o she_o be_v make_v to_o do_v so_o as_o it_o be_v by_o very_o strong_a hand_n and_o therefore_o there_o be_v little_a for_o which_o to_o thank_v she_o her_o former_a life_n grow_v then_o to_o be_v represent_v to_o she_o with_o perfect_a truth_n together_o with_o the_o great_a mercy_n of_o almighty_a god_n and_o all_o this_o occurr_n to_o she_o without_o any_o necessity_n at_o all_o that_o her_o understanding_n shall_v now_o go_v hunt_v after_o it_o for_o there_o do_v she_o already_o find_v all_o this_o kind_n of_o food_n ready_a dress_v for_o she_o to_o understand_v and_o eat_v of_o herself_o she_o see_v very_o well_o that_o she_o deserve_v hellfire_n and_o that_o now_o in_o stead_n thereof_o they_o give_v she_o no_o other_o punishment_n than_o glory_n and_o therefore_o she_o do_v now_o even_o consume_v herself_o in_o the_o praise_n of_o almighty_a god_n and_o now_o will_v i_o be_v glad_a even_o to_o consume_v myself_o so_o bless_a be_v thou_o o_o
my_o lord_n who_o haste_n in_o such_o sort_n vouchsafe_v to_o make_v so_o filthy_a a_o fishpond_n as_o i_o be_v become_v so_o pure_a and_o clear_v a_o water_n as_o that_o it_o may_v serve_v for_o thy_o own_o table_n be_v thou_o adore_v and_o praise_v o_o thou_o regalo_n of_o the_o angel_n who_o have_v vouchsafe_v thus_o to_o exalt_v so_o base_a a_o worm_n this_o profit_n of_o the_o soul_n remain_v for_o some_o time_n therein_o and_o now_o she_o can_v already_o understand_v clear_o enough_o that_o the_o fruit_n be_v none_o of_o her_o own_o and_o she_o begin_v to_o give_v part_n of_o it_o to_o other_o without_o ever_o feel_v any_o want_n of_o it_o herself_o she_o now_o begin_v also_o to_o give_v sign_n and_o appearance_n of_o be_v the_o owner_n of_o some_o such_o soul_n as_o it_o to_o be_v a_o jewel-house_n fit_a for_o the_o treasure_n of_o heaven_n and_o to_o carry_v great_a desire_n of_o make_v other_o partake_v they_o and_o humble_o to_o beseech_v almighty_a god_n that_o she_o may_v not_o be_v alone_o in_o possess_v they_o she_o begin_v now_o to_o profit_v her_o neighbour_n without_o almost_o understand_v it_o herself_o and_o without_o her_o seem_a to_o do_v any_o thing_n therein_o but_o they_o who_o receive_v the_o benefit_n understand_v it_o well_o for_o already_o do_v those_o flower_n yield_v so_o high_a and_o apparent_a a_o scent_n that_o it_o invite_v all_o the_o world_n to_o come_v near_o they_o they_o know_v that_o she_o have_v great_a virtue_n and_o they_o see_v that_o the_o fruit_n be_v very_o tempt_v and_o they_o will_v fain_o help_v she_o to_o eat_v it_o and_o now_o if_o the_o earth_n of_o this_o garden_n be_v manure_v and_o digged-up_a very_o deep_a with_o persecution_n with_o detraction_n and_o with_o sickness_n as_o there_o be_v few_o who_o arrive_v thus_o far_o without_o these_o thing_n and_o if_o also_o it_o be_v very_o clean_o strip_v of_o all_o proper_a interest_n the_o water_n sink_v so_o very_o deep_o into_o this_o soil_n that_o it_o will_v scarce_o be_v ever_o dry_a again_o but_o yet_o if_o it_o be_v such_o a_o kind_n of_o earth_n as_o that_o with_o be_v earth_n it_o have_v also_o such_o a_o quantity_n and_o company_n of_o thorn_n as_o i_o remain_v with_o in_o the_o beginning_n and_o if_o it_o want_v a_o rooting-out_a of_o the_o occasion_n of_o ill_a and_o be_v not_o withal_o so_o grateful_a as_o so_o high_a a_o favour_n require_v that_o soil_n grow_v again_o to_o be_v dry_a and_o in_o that_o case_n if_o the_o gardner_n prove_v negligent_a and_o slack_a and_o if_o out_o lord_n through_o his_o own_o only_o goodness_n do_v not_o again_o resolve_v to_o bestow_v rain_n upon_o it_o you_o may_v well_o give_v this_o garden_n for_o destroy_v and_o lose_v for_o just_a thus_o do_v it_o happen_v to_o i_o several_a time_n and_o real_o i_o be_o even_o amaze_v to_o reflect_v upon_o it_o yea_o and_o it_o be_v not_o possible_a for_o i_o to_o believe_v it_o if_o the_o case_n have_v not_o be_v whole_o i_o own_o but_o now_o i_o write_v thus_o much_o for_o the_o comfort_n of_o such_o soul_n as_o be_v weak_a like_o i_o to_o the_o end_n that_o they_o may_v never_o despair_v nor_o so_o much_o as_o once_o leave_v to_o have_v confidence_n in_o the_o greatness_n of_o almighty_a god_n and_o that_o comfort_n although_o they_o shall_v fall_v even_o after_o our_o lord_n have_v bring_v they_o to_o so_o incomparable_a favour_n as_o be_v mention_v here_o they_o must_v not_o yet_o despair_v unless_o they_o will_v be_v total_o lose_v for_o there_o be_v nothing_o which_o will_v not_o be_v get_v with_o tear_n and_o so_o the_o employ_v of_o one_o water_n will_v be_v the_o mean_n of_o get_v another_o one_o of_o the_o thing_n by_o which_o i_o have_v be_v animate_v with_o be_v that_o miserable_a creature_n which_o i_o be_o to_o write_v this_o discourse_n and_o to_o give_v this_o kind_n of_o account_n of_o my_o wicked_a life_n and_o of_o the_o favour_n which_o our_o lord_n have_v be_v please_v to_o do_v i_o and_o that_o not_o whilst_o i_o be_v serve_v he_o but_o offend_v he_o have_v be_v this_o and_o real_o i_o wish_v now_o that_o i_o be_v some_o person_n of_o great_a authority_n that_o so_o i_o may_v be_v the_o better_o believe_v in_o this_o particular_a and_o i_o humble_o beseech_v the_o divine_a majesty_n of_o my_o dear_a lord_n that_o he_o will_v bestow_v this_o favour_n upon_o i_o i_o say_v then_o that_o no_o one_o even_o of_o those_o creature_n who_o have_v begin_v to_o use_v mental_a prayer_n be_v to_o be_v dismay_v with_o say_v if_o i_o shall_v return_v to_o be_v wicked_a again_o it_o will_v be_v worse_o for_o i_o to_o go_v forward_o with_o the_o use_n of_o prayer_n for_o the_o thing_n which_o i_o believe_v be_v that_o it_o will_v be_v worse_o if_o he_o give-ove_a his_o prayer_n and_o forbear_v to_o reform_v his_o life_n but_o if_o he_o shall_v not_o give-ove_a his_o prayer_n let_v he_o be_v confident_a that_o it_o will_v bring_v he_o again_o to_o the_o port_n where_o he_o shall_v be_v able_a to_o see_v the_o lantern_n and_o arrive_v safe_a the_o devil_n make_v so_o fierce_a battery_n against_o i_o and_o i_o pass_v so_o long_o without_o prayer_n as_o conceave_a that_o be_v so_o wicked_a as_o i_o be_v it_o will_v be_v a_o act_n of_o more_o humility_n to_o desist_v from_o it_o that_o i_o give_v it_o over_o for_o about_o a_o year_n and_o a_o half_a or_o for_o a_o year_n at_o least_o for_o of_o the_o half_a year_n i_o remember_v it_o not_o so_o very_o precise_o but_o this_o be_v likely_a to_o be_v and_o be_v then_o indeed_o no_o other_o thing_n then_o for_o i_o to_o put_v myself_o even_o into_o hell_n without_o need_v any_o devil_n for_o that_o purpose_n o_o my_o dear_a lord_n how_o great_a be_v that_o blindness_n and_o how_o unhappy_o do_v the_o devil_n hit_v right_a for_o his_o purpose_n in_o lay_v so_o heavy_a a_o load_n upon_o we_o herein_o the_o traitor_n know_v very_o well_o that_o he_o have_v lose_v that_o soul_n which_o continue_v with_o perseverance_n in_o prayer_n and_o that_o all_o those_o fall_v which_o he_o procure_v to_o give_v we_o will_v but_o assist_v we_o through_o the_o goodness_n of_o almighty_a god_n to_o make_v afterward_o the_o great_a leap_n towards_o his_o service_n the_o devil_n i_o say_v know_v very_o well_o how_o much_o this_o import_v he_o but_o o_o my_o dear_a jesus_n what_o a_o thing_n it_o be_v to_o see_v a_o soul_n in_o this_o state_n falne-back_a indeed_o to_o sin_n when_o yet_o thou_o by_o thy_o mercy_n do_v lend_v he_o that_o hand_n of_o thou_o to_o rise_v again_o o_o how_o will_v such_o a_o one_o come_v to_o know_v the_o multitude_n of_o thy_o greatness_n and_o mercy_n together_o with_o his_o own_o misery_n here_o come_v this_o creature_n in_o to_o understand_v thy_o majestical_a way_n and_o to_o annihilate_v himself_o in_o good_a earnest_n here_o be_v the_o soul_n not_o once_o presume_v so_o much_o as_o to_o lift_v her_o eye_n up_o to_o heaven_n though_o yet_o she_o raise_v her_o thought_n to_o consider_v the_o unspeakable_a obligation_n which_o she_o have_v to_o thou_o she_o here_o grow_v all_o devote_a to_o the_o queen_n of_o heaven_n that_o she_o may_v help_v to_o appease_v thou_o heer_n she_o invoke_v those_o saint_n who_o fall_v after_o thou_o have_v once_o call_v they_o to_o thy_o service_n to_o the_o end_n that_o she_o may_v be_v assist_v by_o they_o heer_n she_o conceive_v and_o find_v that_o whatsoever_o cross_n thou_o send_v she_o they_o be_v all_o of_o they_o too_o easy_a and_o light_n because_o she_o see_v already_o that_o she_o deserve_v not_o the_o very_a ground_n upon_o which_o she_o go_v heer_n enter_v the_o frequent_v the_o sacrament_n of_o the_o church_n and_o that_o vigorous_a livelie_a faith_n which_o now_o remain_v in_o her_o hart_n as_o see_v the_o great_a power_n and_o virtue_n which_o god_n infuse_v into_o it_o the_o praise_v thou_o for_o have_v leave_v such_o unguent_n and_o other_o medicine_n for_o the_o cure_n of_o our_o sore_n which_o close_v not_o only_o the_o skin_n but_o take_v they_o utter_o away_o in_o a_o word_n she_o be_v amaze_v at_o all_o these_o thing_n and_o who_o o_o thou_o lord_n of_o my_o soul_n be_v not_o to_o be_v amaze_v at_o so_o great_a mercy_n and_o at_o such_o a_o overflow_a kind_n of_o favour_n upon_o our_o treason_n which_o be_v so_o abominable_a and_o foul_a that_o for_o my_o part_n i_o can_v understand_v how_o my_o hart_n come_v not_o even_o to_o splitt_v when_o i_o write_v thus_o much_o because_o i_o find_v myself_o so_o very_o wicked_a and_o yet_o the_o while_n it_o seem_v as_o if_o i_o have_v a_o mind_n to_o make_v thou_o a_o kind_n of_o recompense_n &_o satisfaction_n
myself_o have_v receive_v so_o great_a favour_n from_o almighty_a god_n can_v ever_o procure_v to_o come_v to_o mental_a prayer_n and_o that_o for_o i_o it_o will_v suffice_v if_o i_o say_v those_o vocal_a prayer_n to_o which_o i_o be_v bind_v as_o other_o do_v but_o that_o since_o now_o i_o do_v not_o even_o thus_o much_o well_o what_o sense_n be_v there_o that_o i_o shall_v pretend_v to_o do_v more_o and_o that_o this_o be_v to_o express_v little_a reverence_n to_o almighty_a god_n and_o to_o underualue_n his_o favour_n it_o be_v fit_a to_o think_v and_o know_v all_o this_o but_o to_o put_v it_o in_o execution_n have_v be_v extreme_o ill_o do_v and_o be_v thou_o bless_v o_o lord_n who_o bring_v i_o the_o remedy_n for_o this_o temptation_n seem_v to_o have_v be_v no_o less_o than_o a_o beginning_n to_o that_o other_o which_o the_o devil_n bring_v upon_o judas_n but_o that_o traitor_n the_o devil_n dare_v not_o tempt_v i_o so_o open_o but_o will_v fain_o have_v come_v by_o little_a and_o little_a to_o set_v upon_o i_o as_o he_o do_v upon_o he_o and_o now_o for_o the_o love_n of_o our_o lord_n let_v all_o they_o who_o use_v mental_a prayer_n consider_v well_o that_o which_o follow_v very_o well_o let_v they_o know_v that_o during_o the_o time_n when_o i_o forbear_v it_o my_o life_n be_v much_o worse_o than_o before_o and_o let_v it_o be_v well_o consider_v what_o a_o fine_a kind_n of_o remedy_n the_o devil_n bring_v i_o and_o what_o a_o dainty_a ridiculous_a humility_n it_o must_v be_v which_o can_v fill_v i_o with_o so_o deep_a a_o disquiet_n for_o indeed_o how_o can_v this_o soul_n of_o i_o appease_v itself_o the_o ignorant_a foolish_a creature_n go_v away_o as_o fast_o as_o she_o can_v from_o her_o true_a repose_n and_o rest_n she_o have_v her_o favour_n and_o regalo_n present_a to_o her_o memory_n and_o she_o find_v that_o the_o contentment_n of_o this_o world_n be_v so_o loathsome_a as_o even_o almost_o to_o provoke_v a_o vomit_n but_o i_o be_o amaze_v how_o i_o can_v endure_v it_o though_o belike_o it_o be_v with_o some_o kind_n of_o hope_n that_o at_o the_o worst_a hand_n i_o may_v be_v able_a to_o remain_v free_a from_o sin_n for_o i_o never_o as_o i_o remember_v though_o yet_o it_o be_v now_o more_o than_o one_o &_o twenty_o year_n ago_o gave-ove_a a_o be_v resolve_v to_o return_v to_o prayer_n but_o o_o how_o ill-grounded_a and_o address_v be_v this_o hope_n of_o i_o for_o the_o devil_n will_v fain_o have_v turn_v i_o over_o till_o the_o day_n of_o judgement_n that_o so_o from_o thence_o he_o may_v conduct_v i_o to_o hell_n but_o yet_o now_o afterward_o i_o frequent_v prayer_n &_o read_v which_o be_v indeed_o the_o way_n to_o see_v real_a truth_n &_o look_v down_o upon_o that_o wicked_a course_n which_o i_o be_v hold_v and_o often_o importune_v our_o bless_a lord_n with_o many_o tear_n i_o be_v yet_o so_o very_o wretched_a that_o i_o know_v not_o by_o any_o mean_n how_o to_o help_v myself_o but_o then_o again_o on_o the_o other_o side_n i_o grow_v to_o give-ove_a these_o good_a thing_n and_o employ_v myself_o upon_o certain_a idle_a pastime_n and_o expose_v myself_o to_o many_o occasion_n of_o ill_a and_o enjoy_v very_o few_o help_n and_o i_o may_v rather_o venture_v to_o say_v none_o at_o all_o but_o only_o such_o as_o may_v help_v i_o to_o fall_v for_o what_o may_v i_o ever_o hope_v but_o what_o i_o have_v say_v i_o believe_v that_o a_o certain_a religious_a man_n of_o s._n dominick_n order_n who_o be_v very_o learned_a have_v great_a merit_n in_o the_o sight_n of_o god_n for_o he_o awake_v i_o out_o of_o this_o sleep_n and_o he_o make_v i_o as_o i_o think_v i_o have_v already_o express_v receive_v the_o b._n sacrament_n every_o fortnight_n and_o so_o my_o misery_n be_v then_o not_o altogether_o so_o great_a i_o begin_v to_o come_v back_o again_o into_o myself_o though_o yet_o withal_o i_o forbear_v not_o to_o commit_v some_o offence_n against_o our_o lord_n but_o because_o i_o have_v not_o lose_v my_o way_n i_o go_v still_o on_o with_o fall_v &_o rise_v though_o yet_o but_o by_o little_a and_o little_a and_o he_o who_o never_o gives-ove_a to_o go_v forward_o will_v arrive_v at_o length_n by_o go_v soft_o though_o it_o be_v late_o for_o my_o part_n i_o conceive_v that_o for_o a_o soul_n to_o loose_v her_o way_n and_o to_o leave_v her_o prayer_n be_v indeed_o but_o one_o and_o the_o self_n same_o thing_n and_o our_o lord_n deliver_v we_o from_o it_o for_o his_o own_o mercy_n sake_n it_o be_v heerupon_o to_o be_v infer_v and_o i_o desire_v even_o for_o the_o love_n of_o our_o lord_n that_o it_o may_v be_v much_o observe_v that_o although_o a_o soul_n shall_v come_v to_o such_o pass_n as_o that_o our_o lord_n may_v do_v her_o great_a favour_n in_o prayer_n she_o must_v not_o yet_o be_v confident_a of_o herself_o since_o she_o may_v yet_o come_v to_o fall_v again_o and_o let_v she_o not_o by_o any_o mean_n expose_v herself_o to_o heed_n occasion_n of_o sinne._n let_v she_o be_v careful_a to_o consider_v thus_o much_o for_o the_o deceit_n of_o which_o the_o devil_n be_v wont_a to_o serve_v himself_o in_o this_o occasion_n be_v very_o great_a for_o though_o the_o favour_n which_o be_v impart_v to_o the_o soul_n be_v most_o certain_o from_o almighty_a god_n yet_o the_o traitor_n will_v not_o fail_v to_o serve_v himself_o of_o that_o very_a favour_n in_o whatsoever_o he_o can_v and_o especial_o for_o the_o disadvantage_n of_o person_n who_o be_v not_o strong_a in_o virtue_n and_o mortification_n nor_o be_v absolute_o untie_v and_o loose_a from_o all_o thing_n belong_v to_o this_o world_n for_o man_n in_o fine_a must_v know_v that_o they_o be_v not_o by_o mean_n of_o this_o prayer_n sufficient_o strengthen_v and_o fortify_v as_o i_o will_v declare_v afterward_o for_o the_o put_v themselves_o into_o occasion_n and_o danger_n how_o great_a desire_n and_o resolution_n soever_o they_o may_v have_v this_o be_v a_o excellent_a doctrine_n and_o it_o be_v not_o i_o but_o teach_v by_o almighty_a god_n himself_o and_o so_o i_o shall_v be_v glad_a that_o all_o ignorant_a person_n like_v i_o may_v learn_v it_o for_o though_o a_o soul_n be_v never_o so_o high_a in_o this_o state_n yet_o must_v she_o not_o trust_v herself_o so_o far_o as_o to_o go_v out_o to_o combat_v but_o she_o will_v have_v acquit_v herself_o well_o if_o she_o can_v defend_v herself_o so_o that_o in_o this_o state_n and_o condition_n it_o will_v be_v necessary_a for_o she_o to_o carry_v defensive_a arm_n against_o the_o devil_n for_o yet_o she_o have_v not_o strength_n enough_o wherewith_o to_o assault_v he_o and_o much_o less_o to_o tread_v he_o under_o foot_n as_o yet_o they_o will_v be_v able_a to_o do_v who_o shall_v find_v themselves_o in_o that_o state_n whereof_o i_o will_v discourse_v afterward_o but_o this_o be_v that_o devise_n and_o cosening-trick_n whereby_o the_o devil_n be_v wont_a to_o take_v we_o that_o when_o once_o he_o see_v a_o soul_n arrive_v to_o be_v so_o very_o near_o to_o our_o lord_n and_o which_o can_v judge_v so_o very_o well_o of_o the_o difference_n between_o the_o blessing_n which_o belong_v to_o this_o life_n and_o the_o next_o and_o of_o the_o love_n which_o our_o lord_n bear_v to_o that_o soul_n from_o this_o very_a love_n he_o make_v such_o a_o kind_n of_o confidence_n and_o security_n grow_v as_o that_o she_o shall_v never_o forsooth_o be_v able_a to_o fall_v from_o that_o which_o she_o be_v enjoy_v at_o that_o time_n and_o she_o also_o seem_v there-upon_o to_o eye_v her_o reward_n so_o very_o clear_o that_o she_o be_v easy_o bring_v to_o hold_v it_o even_o impossible_a for_o she_o to_o quit_v that_o which_o be_v so_o very_o delightful_a and_o gustfull_a even_o in_o this_o life_n for_o so_o base_a and_o filthy_a a_o thing_n as_o worldly_a pleasure_n be_v now_o by_o mean_n of_o this_o vain_a confidence_n do_v the_o devil_n grow_v to_o deprive_v she_o of_o the_o distrust_n which_o otherwise_o she_o will_v have_v of_o her_o own_o strength_n and_o thus_o she_o expose_v herself_o as_o i_o be_v say_v to_o danger_n and_o begin_v with_o a_o foolish_a kind_n of_o good_a zeal_n to_o be_v give_v the_o fruit_n of_o her_o garden_n away_o to_o other_o without_o any_o limit_n as_o believe_v now_o that_o she_o have_v no_o more_o cause_n so_o to_o be_v afraid_a concern_v herself_o and_o that_o this_o be_v not_o forsooth_o out_o of_o pride_n for_o the_o soul_n understand_v well_o enough_o that_o she_o be_v able_a to_o do_v nothing_o of_o herself_o but_o through_o the_o much_o temptation_n confidence_n which_o she_o have_v in_o almighty_a god_n yet_o all_o this_o be_v without_o discretion_n because_o
choose_v for_o the_o help_a of_o other_o though_o yet_o still_o it_o must_v be_v consider_v that_o this_o strength_n proceed_v not_o from_o themselves_o but_o when_o once_o our_o bless_a lord_n bring_v a_o soul_n so_o near_o himself_o as_o i_o have_v show_v he_o go_v by_o little_a and_o little_a communicate_v very_o great_a secret_n to_o she_o and_o here_o come_v the_o true_a revelation_n in_o this_o kind_n of_o extasis_fw-la and_o other_o great_a favour_n and_o vision_n and_o all_o these_o thing_n serve_v to_o make_v this_o soul_n both_o more_o humble_a and_o more_o strong_a and_o to_o give_v her_o grace_n to_o hold_v all_o kind_n of_o worldly_a thing_n in_o no_o account_n as_o also_o to_o know_v more_o clear_o the_o greatness_n of_o that_o reward_n which_o our_o bless_a lord_n have_v provide_v for_o such_o as_o serve_v he_o i_o humble_o befeech_v his_o divine_a majesty_n that_o the_o excessive_a bounty_n which_o he_o have_v vouchsafe_v to_o show_v towards_o this_o miserable_a sinful_a creature_n may_v prove_v some_o part_n of_o a_o motive_n to_o make_v they_o who_o shall_v read_v this_o discourse_n encourage_v and_o animate_v themselves_o to_o leave_v all_o thing_n yea_o even_o absolute_o all_o for_o almighty_a god_n since_o his_o divine_a majesty_n be_v please_v to_o give_v so_o complete_a reward_n for_o we_o see_v and_o that_o clear_o enough_o what_o advantage_n and_o favour_n and_o retribution_n he_o be_v please_v to_o allow_v even_o in_o this_o life_n to_o such_o as_o serve_v he_o and_o what_o then_o will_v he_o be_v sure_a to_o do_v for_o they_o in_o the_o next_o the_o two_o and_o twenty_o chapter_n in_o which_o she_o treat_v of_o how_o secure_a a_o way_n it_o be_v for_o person_n who_o give_v themselves_o to_o contemplation_n not_o to_o raiseup_a their_o spirit_n to_o high_a thing_n unless_o our_o lord_n raise_v they_o up_o and_o that_o the_o humanity_n of_o christ_n our_o lord_n be_v in_o deed_n to_o be_v the_o mean_n towards_o the_o high_a contemplation_n of_o all_o other_o she_o speak_v also_o of_o a_o error_n wherein_o once_o she_o be_v this_o chapter_n contain_v matter_n of_o much_o profit_n i_o will_v here_o declare_v a_o certain_a thing_n which_o be_v in_o my_o opinion_n very_o important_a and_o if_o your_o reverence_n think_v fit_a it_o may_v serve_v you_o for_o a_o word_n of_o advice_n yea_o and_o perhaps_o you_o may_v grow_v even_o to_o have_v need_n thereof_o i_o have_v read_v in_o some_o book_n write_v of_o prayer_n which_o affirm_v that_o how_o soever_o the_o soul_n be_v not_o able_a of_o itself_o to_o arrive_v to_o that_o state_n whereof_o i_o speak_v before_o because_o all_o that_o be_v supernatural_a which_o our_o lord_n work_v there_o yet_o she_o may_v be_v able_a forsooth_o to_o help_v herself_o therein_o by_o raising-up_a her_o spirit_n above_o all_o thing_n create_v and_o that_o so_o she_o have_v raise_v it_o up_o many_o year_n together_o with_o humility_n and_o have_v first_o pass_v through_o the_o purgative_n way_n and_o after_o that_o through_o the_o illuminative_a they_o advise_v in_o particular_a manner_n that_o man_n shall_v separate_v and_o abstract_n themselves_o from_o all_o kind_n of_o imagination_n or_o reflection_n upon_o corporeal_a thing_n and_o that_o so_o they_o shall_v be_v able_a to_o approach_v and_o reach_v the_o contemplation_n of_o the_o divinity_n for_o they_o say_v that_o although_o it_o be_v even_o the_o very_a humanity_n itself_o of_o christ_n our_o lord_n yet_o be_v it_o of_o some_o impediment_n to_o such_o as_o proceed_v thus_o far_o yea_o and_o that_o it_o hinder_v man_n from_o the_o most_o perfect_a kind_n of_o contemplation_n for_o the_o make_v this_o opinion_n true_a good_a they_o allege_v that_o which_o our_o lord_n say_v to_o his_o apostle_n when_o himself_o be_v ascending-up_a to_o heaven_n of_o the_o come_n of_o the_o holie-ghost_n down_o upon_o they_o which_o will_v not_o be_v accomplish_v till_o himself_o be_v retire_v out_o of_o their_o sight_n but_o for_o my_o part_n i_o be_o apt_a to_o conceive_v that_o if_o they_o have_v then_o have_v that_o livelie_a faith_n of_o our_o lord_n be_v be_v both_o god_n and_o man_n which_o they_o have_v after_o the_o come_n of_o the_o holy_a ghost_n his_o corporal_a presence_n will_v have_v do_v they_o no_o hurt_n at_o all_o for_o he_o hold_v no_o such_o discourse_n to_o his_o bless_a mother_n though_o she_o love_v he_o much_o more_o than_o they_o all_o but_o these_o man_n use_v to_o allege_v this_o passage_n or_o place_n of_o scripture_n because_o it_o seem_v to_o they_o in_o regard_n that_o all_o this_o action_n of_o prayer_n be_v a_o work_n of_o spirit_n that_o every_o corporeal_a object_n will_v be_v able_a to_o divert_v and_o hinder_v it_o and_o that_o forsooth_o they_o must_v consider_v themselves_o after_o a_o manner_n which_o be_v total_o independent_a upon_o creature_n and_o that_o god_n be_v alike_o near_o they_o on_o all_o side_n and_o so_o to_o see_v themselves_o ingulf_v in_o he_o be_v the_o thing_n which_o they_o shall_v endeavour_v to_o obtain_v now_o this_o do_v not_o displease_v i_o to_o be_v use_v at_o sometime_o and_o in_o some_o case_n but_o yet_o to_o deny_v ourselves_o whole_o from_o the_o person_n of_o christ_n our_o lord_n and_o to_o bring_v that_o divine_a body_n of_o he_o into_o the_o account_n and_o company_n of_o these_o misery_n of_o we_o or_o even_o with_o all_o the_o rest_n of_o the_o whole_a create_a world_n i_o can_v by_o no_o mean_n endure_n and_o i_o humble_o beg_v of_o his_o divine_a majesty_n that_o i_o may_v be_v able_a to_o give_v myself_o to_o be_v understand_v i_o will_v not_o yet_o put_v myself_o to_o contradict_v they_o because_o they_o be_v learned_a man_n and_o spiritual_a person_n who_o fail_v not_o to_o know_v well_o what_o they_o say_v and_o it_o be_v also_o very_o true_a that_o it_o please_v almighty_a god_n to_o carry_v and_o conduct_v soul_n by_o several_a walk_n and_o way_n as_o he_o do_v i_o and_o now_o i_o will_v declare_v some_o particular_n thereof_o for_o in_o the_o rest_n i_o will_v not_o interpose_v myself_o but_o only_o speak_v of_o the_o danger_n wherein_o i_o find_v i_o be_v because_o i_o conform_v myself_o to_o what_o i_o have_v read_v i_o well_o believe_v that_o whosoever_o shall_v find_v himself_o to_o have_v arrive_v to_o the_o state_n of_o union_n and_o not_o to_o have_v pass_v further_o on_o so_o far_o as_o to_o have_v rapt_n and_o vision_n together_o with_o such_o other_o favour_n as_o our_o lord_n be_v wont_a to_o impart_v to_o soul_n may_v hold_v that_o which_o be_v speak_v of_o to_o be_v better_a as_o i_o also_o do_v but_o yet_o if_o i_o have_v continue_v therein_o i_o believe_v i_o shall_v never_o have_v arrive_v to_o that_o pitch_n wherein_o now_o i_o be_o for_o in_o my_o opinion_n it_o be_v a_o error_n other_o and_o deceit_n though_o yet_o perhaps_o it_o may_v be_v myself_o who_o be_o the_o person_n deceive_v &_o yet_o i_o will_v relate_v what_o happen_v to_o i_o whilst_o i_o be_v in_o want_n of_o a_o director_n and_o the_o while_n go_v read_v the_o book_n afforesayd_a whereby_o i_o think_v i_o grow_v to_o understand_v somewhat_o by_o little_a and_o little_a i_o come_v indeed_o to_o find_v afterward_o that_o if_o our_o lord_n have_v not_o be_v my_o teacher_n i_o shall_v have_v learn_v very_o little_a by_o those_o book_n for_o real_o it_o be_v nothing_o which_o i_o understand_v till_o his_o divine_a majesty_n be_v please_v to_o make_v i_o know_v it_o by_o experience_n nor_o indeed_o do_v i_o know_v what_o i_o do_v but_o when_o afterward_o i_o come_v so_o far_o as_o to_o have_v some_o kind_n of_o prayer_n which_o be_v supernatural_a i_o mean_v the_o prayer_n of_o quiet_a i_o procure_v to_o dismiss_v myself_o of_o all_o kind_n of_o corporeal_a object_n though_o yet_o i_o dare_v not_o go_v raise_v and_o exalt_v my_o soul_n for_o consider_v that_o i_o be_v always_o so_o very_o wicked_a i_o see_v that_o this_o be_v to_o be_v a_o great_a presumption_n in_o i_o but_o then_o i_o come_v to_o think_v that_o i_o feel_v a_o kind_n of_o presence_n of_o almighty_a god_n in_o i_o after_o a_o particular_a manner_n as_o indeed_o i_o do_v and_o i_o procure_v to_o recollect_v myself_o with_o he_o and_o this_o be_v a_o very_a savoury_a and_o gustfull_a kind_n of_o prayer_n if_o our_o lord_n assist_v a_o soul_n particular_o therein_o and_o the_o delight_n of_o it_o be_v great_a and_o when_o both_o the_o profit_n and_o pleasure_n which_o it_o give_v be_v once_o observe_v by_o the_o soul_n there_o can_v be_v then_o no_o mean_n to_o make_v i_o return_v again_o to_o the_o humanity_n of_o christ_n our_o lord_n because_o in_o reality_n of_o truth_n i_o conceive_v that_o it_o be_v a_o impediment_n to_o i_o othou_fw-mi lord_n
benediction_n and_o he_o will_v address_v your_o life_n by_o your_o meditation_n upon_o he_o for_o he_o be_v the_o best_a original_a and_o pattern_n which_o we_o can_v possible_o have_v and_o indeed_o what_o can_v we_o desire_v more_o then_o to_o have_v so_o perfect_a a_o friend_n at_o hand_n who_o will_v never_o give_v we_o over_o in_o our_o affliction_n and_o tribalation_n as_o they_o of_o this_o world_n be_v wont_a to_o do_v most_o bless_a be_v that_o man_n who_o love_v he_o with_o all_o sincerity_n of_o truth_n and_o who_o be_v always_o carry_v he_o close_o to_o himself_o let_v we_o look_v upon_o the_o glorious_a s._n paul_n who_o seem_v as_o if_o he_o can_v not_o suffer_v that_o ever_o the_o name_n of_o jesus_n shall_v be_v able_a to_o fall_v often_o enough_o from_o his_o mouth_n as_o one_o who_o do_v not_o fail_v to_o carry_v it_o well_o imprint_v upon_o his_o hart_n and_o since_o i_o understand_v of_o that_o other_o abstract_a course_n whereof_o i_o speak_v i_o have_v reflect_v upon_o diverse_a great_a contemplative_a saint_n with_o much_o care_n and_o i_o find_v that_o they_o go_v no_o other_o way_n than_o this_o s._n francis_n she_o wes_z it_o plain_o by_o the_o wound_n s._n anthony_n of_o milan_n by_o the_o infant_n s._n bernard_n delight_v himself_o much_o in_o the_o humanity_n of_o our_o bless_a lord_n and_o so_o also_o do_v s._n katherine_n of_o sienna_n together_o with_o many_o other_o saint_n as_o your_o reverence_n know_v better_o than_o i._n this_o depart_a and_o abstract_v one_o self_n from_o all_o corporeal_a object_n shall_v as_o it_o seem_v be_v good_a since_o person_n who_o be_v so_o spiritual_a affirm_v it_o but_o yet_o in_o my_o opinion_n this_o must_v be_v understand_v of_o soul_n who_o be_v very_o proficient_a in_o spirit_n for_o till_o then_o it_o be_v evident_a enough_o that_o the_o creator_n be_v to_o be_v seek_v by_o mean_n of_o the_o creature_n but_o yet_o i_o will_v undertake_v nothing_o in_o this_o case_n since_o all_o depend_v upon_o the_o favour_n which_o our_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o show_v to_o any_o soul_n that_o which_o i_o will_v fain_o give_v to_o be_v understand_v be_v that_o the_o most_o sacred_a humanity_n of_o christ_n our_o lord_n must_v not_o be_v make_v to_o come_v into_o that_o account_n and_o let_v this_o point_n be_v well_o understand_v wherein_o i_o will_v fain_o know_v how_o to_o declare_v myself_o when_o god_n be_v please_v to_o suspend_v all_o the_o power_n of_o the_o soul_n in_o those_o kind_n of_o prayer_n which_o be_v relate_v we_o have_v see_v plain_o that_o this_o presence_n of_o christ_n our_o lord_n be_v take_v from_o we_o whether_o we_o will_v or_o no_o and_o let_v it_o then_o be_v go_v in_o a_o good_a hour_n for_o that_o kind_n of_o loss_n be_v a_o happy_a one_o whereby_o we_o come_v to_o enjoy_v more_o of_o that_o which_o we_o conceive_v ourselves_o to_o have_v lose_v for_o then_o the_o soul_n employ_v herself_o whole_o upon_o love_v he_o who_o the_o understanding_n have_v already_o endeavour_v to_o know_v and_o she_o love_v that_o which_o she_o do_v not_o full_o comprehend_v and_o now_o joy_n in_o that_o wherein_o she_o can_v not_o also_o have_v joy_v but_o only_o by_o lose_v herself_o for_o her_o great_a gain_n but_o now_o that_o we_o shall_v by_o trick_n and_o of_o sett-purpose_n accustom_v ourselves_o not_o to_o procure_v with_o our_o whole_a power_n to_o carry_v always_o in_o our_o eye_n and_o i_o will_v to_o god_n it_o be_v always_o this_o most_o sacred_a humanity_n of_o christ_n our_o lord_n this_o i_o say_v be_v that_o which_o i_o like_v not_o since_o it_o be_v a_o way_n of_o make_v the_o soul_n walk_v in_o the_o air_n as_o we_o use_v to_o say_v for_o it_o seem_v that_o she_o have_v no_o firm_a and_o stable_a restingplace_n howsoever_o she_o may_v make_v herself_o believe_v that_o she_o be_v full_a of_o god_n it_o be_v a_o great_a matter_n whilst_o we_o live_v and_o be_v humane_a to_o procure_v to_o bring_v god_n to_o ourselves_o humane_a for_o this_o be_v that_o other_o inconvenience_n which_o i_o say_v there_o be_v for_o the_o first_o i_o begin_v to_o say_v be_v a_o little_a want_n of_o humility_n in_o presume_v to_o raise_v the_o soul_n before_o our_o lord_n raise_v she_o and_o not_o to_o content_v herself_o with_o meditate_v upon_o a_o thing_n so_o precious_a but_o that_o she_o will_v needs_o be_v a_o marie_n before_o she_o have_v take_v the_o pain_n of_o martha_n if_o our_o lord_n himself_o be_v please_v that_o we_o be_v marry_o there_o will_v be_v nothing_o to_o be_v fear_v though_o it_o shall_v be_v upon_o the_o very_a first_o day_n of_o our_o do_v he_o service_n but_o yet_o let_v we_o consider_v well_o of_o the_o matter_n as_o i_o think_v i_o be_v say_v before_o for_o this_o small_a moat_n of_o little_a humility_n will_v make_v a_o shift_n to_o do_v a_o great_a deal_n of_o hurt_n against_o profit_v in_o the_o way_n of_o contemplation_n but_o to_o return_v now_o to_o the_o second_o point_n we_o be_v no_o angel_n but_o we_o have_v body_n and_o to_o desire_v to_o make_v ourselves_o angel_n whilst_o yet_o we_o be_v upon_o earth_n and_o especial_o if_o they_o be_v so_o earthly_a as_o i_o be_v be_v a_o kind_n of_o folly_n or_o madness_n but_o our_o thought_n in_o the_o ordinary_a way_n have_v need_n of_o a_o kind_n of_o lean_v or_o restingplace_n though_o yet_o sometime_o the_o soul_n may_v go_v so_o out_o of_o herself_o yea_o and_o many_o time_n may_v be_v so_o full_a of_o almighty_a god_n that_o perhaps_o she_o have_v no_o neęd_n to_o recollect_v herself_o by_o mean_n of_o any_o thing_n create_v but_o this_o be_v not_o a_o thing_n so_o ordinary_a and_o in_o business_n and_o persecution_n and_o trouble_n when_o she_o can_v enjoy_v so_o much_o quiet_a and_o in_o the_o time_n also_o of_o dryness_n and_o dulness_n christ_n our_o lord_n be_v wont_a to_o be_v a_o very_a good_a friend_n for_o we_o consider_v he_o as_o man_n and_o we_o behold_v he_o full_a of_o weakness_n and_o affliction_n and_o he_o be_v company_n fit_a for_o all_o good_a occasion_n and_o when_o once_o we_o be_v a_o little_a accustom_a we_o shall_v find_v he_o very_o easy_o keep_v close_a to_o we_o though_o yet_o some_o such_o time_n will_v occur_v as_o that_o we_o shall_v not_o be_v able_a to_o do_v neither_o the_o one_o nor_o the_o other_o upon_o this_o reason_n it_o will_v be_v well_o to_o do_v that_o whereof_o i_o have_v speak_v already_o namely_o not_o to_o pretend_v and_o procure_v any_o sensible_a consolation_n of_o spirit_n but_o let_v any_o thing_n arrive_v that_o will_v for_o it_o be_v no_o toy_n or_o trifle_n to_o embrace_v the_o cross_n of_o our_o lord_n this_o lord_n of_o we_o be_v forsake_v by_o all_o manner_n of_o comfort_n and_o they_o leave_v he_o all_o alone_a in_o his_o affliction_n but_o yet_o let_v not_o we_o do_v so_o for_o he_o will_v reach_v we_o his_o hand_n which_o can_v raise_v we_o better_o up_o than_o all_o our_o own_o diligence_n will_v have_v be_v able_a to_o do_v and_o yet_o he_o will_v absent_v himself_o also_o when_o he_o shall_v think_v fit_a and_o when_o he_o shall_v think_v it_o fit_a he_o will_v also_o draw_v the_o soul_n out_o of_o itself_o as_o i_o have_v say_v before_o our_o lord_n be_v very_o well_o please_v to_o see_v a_o soul_n with_o humility_n introduce_v his_o son_n for_o her_o intercessor_n and_o he_o love_v she_o so_o very_a much_o that_o even_o when_o his_o divine_a majesty_n shall_v have_v a_o inclination_n to_o raise_v herup_a to_o great_a contemplation_n the_o same_o soul_n may_v yet_o hold_v herself_o unworthy_a and_o cry_v out_o with_o s._n peter_n depart_v from_o i_o o_o my_o lord_n for_o i_o be_o a_o sinful_a man_n i_o have_v try_v this_o very_a thing_n by_o experience_n and_o thus_o have_v god_n conduct_v my_o soul_n let_v other_o therefore_o go_v by_o some_o other_o short_a cut_n as_o they_o please_v but_o that_o which_o i_o have_v be_v able_a to_o understand_v be_v that_o all_o this_o cement_n of_o prayer_n be_v ground_v upon_o humility_n and_o truth_n that_o the_o more_o the_o soul_n be_v abase_v in_o that_o holy_a exercise_n the_o more_o be_v it_o exalt_v by_o almighty_a god_n nor_o do_v i_o remember_v that_o ever_o he_o show_v i_o any_o of_o those_o singular_a mercy_n of_o which_o i_o shall_v speak_v afterward_o but_o when_o i_o find_v my_o soul_n even_o as_o it_o be_v annihilate_v with_o observe_v myself_o to_o be_v so_o very_o wicked_a yea_o and_o sometime_o his_o divine_a majesty_n take_v care_n to_o give_v i_o to_o understand_v certain_a thing_n towards_o the_o make_v i_o know_v myself_o so_o much_o the_o better_a which_o i_o can_v never_o have_v tell_v how_o to_o
imagine_v but_o i_o be_o of_o opinion_n that_o when_o the_o soul_n do_v any_o thing_n on_o her_o part_n to_o help_v herself_o on_o as_o afforesayd_a towards_o that_o prayer_n of_o union_n how_o soever_o for_o the_o present_a it_o may_v seem_v to_o do_v good_a yet_o the_o building_n will_v quick_o fall_v as_o want_v any_o sound_a foundation_n and_o i_o be_o afraid_a that_o she_o will_v never_o arrive_v to_o true_a poverty_n of_o spirit_n which_o consist_v in_o not_o desire_v so_o much_o as_o comfort_v or_o gust_n in_o prayer_n for_o all_o those_o of_o this_o world_n be_v forsake_v already_o except_o consolation_n in_o affliction_n and_o that_o for_o love_n of_o he_o who_o ever_o live_v in_o they_o but_o to_o remain_v also_o quiet_a in_o those_o very_a affliction_n and_o aridity_n for_o though_o they_o fail_v not_o to_o have_v some_o little_a trouble_n thereat_o yet_o be_v it_o not_o so_o far_o as_o to_o give_v they_o any_o such_o disquiet_n and_o pain_n as_o some_o give_v themselves_o by_o conceive_v that_o if_o they_o be_v not_o always_o labour_v with_o their_o understanding_n and_o to_o have_v sensible_a devotion_n all_o be_v lose_v as_o if_o they_o can_v deserve_v so_o great_a a_o good_a by_o the_o pain_n they_o take_v i_o say_v not_o that_o they_o shall_v not_o procure_v and_o maintain_v themselves_o with_o much_o care_n in_o the_o presence_n of_o almighty_a god_n but_o if_o yet_o they_o be_v not_o able_a to_o obtain_v no_o not_o so_o much_o as_o one_o good_a thought_n as_o i_o have_v say_v else_o where_o yet_o let_v they_o not_o torment_v themselves_o because_o we_o all_o be_v unprofitable_a servant_n &_o what_o can_v we_o conceive_v that_o we_o shall_v be_v ever_o able_a to_o do_v our_o lord_n be_v much_o better_o please_v that_o we_o may_v come_v to_o know_v this_o truth_n and_o that_o we_o may_v hold_v ourselves_o fit_a to_o be_v treat_v like_o some_o poor_a little_a ass_n to_o turn_v that_o wheel_n about_o whereby_o the_o say_a water_n be_v to_o be_v get_v who_o though_o they_o be_v put_v in_o blindfold_z &_o do_v not_o so_o much_o as_o know_v what_o they_o do_v will_v yet_o get-up_a more_o water_n than_o the_o gardener_n with_o all_o the_o diligence_n he_o can_v use_v no_o we_o must_v walk_v in_o this_o way_n with_o liberty_n of_o spirit_n &_o put_v ourselves_o into_o the_o hand_n of_o almighty_a god_n if_o his_o divine_a majesty_n shall_v be_v please_v to_o advance_v we_o to_o be_v of_o his_o chamber_n &_o council_n we_o must_v go_v with_o a_o good_a will_n but_o if_o not_o we_o must_v be_v content_a to_o serve_v in_o inferior_a employment_n and_o not_o to_o seat_n ourselves_o in_o the_o best_a place_n as_o i_o have_v say_v else_o where_o almighty_a god_n have_v more_o care_n of_o we_o than_o we_o have_v of_o ourselves_o and_o know_v for_o what_o every_o body_n be_v fit_a and_o for_o what_o therefore_o do_v it_o serve_v for_o he_o to_o govern_v himself_o when_o already_o the_o whole_a will_n be_v dispose_v of_o and_o give_v away_o to_o almighty_a god_n in_o my_o opinion_n it_o be_v less_o to_o be_v tolerate_v or_o endure_v here_o then_o in_o the_o first_o degree_n of_o prayer_n and_o it_o do_v usmuch_o more_o harm_n if_o any_o such_o error_n be_v commit_v by_o we_o for_o these_o be_v supernatural_a blessing_n if_o a_o man_n have_v a_o ill_a voice_n how_o much_o soever_o he_o shall_v enforce_v himself_o to_o sing_v the_o voice_n will_v not_o be_v make_v good_a by_o it_o but_o if_o god_n shall_v once_o have_v make_v it_o good_a he_o need_v not_o be_v cry_v out_o before_o hand_n let_v we_o therefore_o always_o humble_o pray_v he_o to_o show_v we_o favour_n &_o let_v the_o soul_n be_v whole_o resign_v but_o yet_o withal_o confide_v in_o the_o greatness_n of_o god_n and_o now_o when_o she_o have_v get_v leave_n to_o remain_v at_o the_o foot_n of_o christ_n our_o lord_n let_v she_o not_o stir_v from_o thence_o but_o continue_v in_o what_o sort_n soever_o it_o may_v be_v and_o let_v she_o imitate_v the_o magdalena_n for_o when_o he_o shall_v find_v her_o strong_a he_o will_v take_v she_o up_o with_o he_o to_o the_o desert_n so_o that_o your_o reverence_n shall_v do_v well_o to_o keep_v yourself_o in_o this_o way_n till_o you_o meet_v with_o some_o other_o who_o may_v have_v more_o experience_n than_o i_o and_o may_v know_v it_o better_o only_o if_o they_o be_v person_n who_o be_v but_o beginning_n to_o have_v gust_n in_o almighty_a god_n do_v not_o believe_v they_o for_o they_o conceive_v that_o they_o profit_v themselves_o more_o and_o have_v more_o gust_n when_o they_o help_v themselves_o in_o such_o sort_n as_o be_v declare_v before_o o_o how_o almighty_a god_n come_v clear_o and_o open_o enough_o in_o without_o these_o little_a pretty_a help_n when_o he_o have_v a_o mind_n to_o it_o and_o so_o as_o that_o whether_o we_o will_v or_o no_o he_o elevate_v and_o hurries-away_a the_o spirit_n even_o as_o some_o giant_n will_v dispose_v of_o a_o straw_n and_o so_o as_o that_o no_o resistance_n can_v be_v think_v of_o but_o what_o a_o kind_n of_o impertinency_n be_v it_o for_o a_o man_n to_o believe_v that_o whensoever_o he_o list_v a_o toad_n shall_v be_v make_v able_a to_o fly_v of_o itself_o and_o i_o hold_v it_o to_o be_v a_o more_o difficult_a and_o absurd_a kind_n of_o thing_n that_o the_o spirit_n shall_v be_v able_a to_o raise_v and_o exalt_v itself_o without_o be_v exalt_v and_o raise_v by_o almighty_a god_n for_o it_o be_v all_z load_v with_o earth_n and_o with_o a_o thousand_o impediment_n and_o it_o will_v prove_v to_o be_v of_o little_a use_n to_o it_o that_o it_o have_v a_o mind_n to_o fly_v for_o though_o fly_v be_v more_o natural_a to_o a_o soul_n then_o to_o a_o toad_n yet_o this_o soul_n be_v already_o all_o plunge_v in_o a_o great_a bed_n of_o dutt_n &_o mire_n as_o have_v lose_v that_o other_o quality_n by_o her_o own_o fault_n i_o will_v therefore_o conclude_v with_o this_o that_o whensoever_o we_o dispose_v ourselves_o to_o think_v and_o meditate_v upon_o christ_n our_o lord_n we_o must_v remember_v the_o love_n wherewith_o he_o do_v we_o so_o many_o favour_n and_o now_o great_o almighty_a god_n be_v please_v to_o show_v it_o to_o we_o by_o give_v we_o so_o high_a a_o pledge_n and_o pawn_v of_o his_o love_n for_o one_o love_n beget_v and_o breed_v another_o and_o though_o we_o shall_v he_o mere_a poor_a beginner_n in_o this_o holy_a exercise_n and_o though_o we_o shall_v withal_o be_v very_o wicked_a yet_o let_v we_o still_o procure_v to_o be_v look_v upon_o this_o object_n and_o still_o be_v stir_v ourselves_o up_o to_o love_v for_o if_o once_o our_o bless_a lord_n vouchsafe_v to_o imprint_v this_o love_n into_o our_o heart_n all_o thing_n will_v grow_v easy_a to_o we_o and_o we_o shall_v quick_o fall_v to_o work_v and_o that_o without_o any_o trouble_n to_o ourselves_o at_o all_o i_o beseech_v his_o divine_a majesty_n that_o he_o will_v vouchsafe_v to_o bestow_v it_o upon_o we_o since_o he_o know_v how_o very_o much_o the_o same_o import_v we_o for_o we_o beggit_fw-la by_o the_o great_a love_n which_o he_o bear_v to_o we_o and_o for_o the_o sake_n of_o his_o glorious_a son_n who_o also_o love_v we_o all_o so_o extreme_o to_o his_o own_o cost_n amen_n one_o solue_v thing_n i_o will_v fain_o ask_v your_o reverence_n how_o our_o lord_n begin_v to_o do_v favour_n to_o a_o soul_n and_o those_o so_o eminent_a and_o high_a as_o to_o bring_v she_o to_o perfect_a contemplation_n which_o soul_n be_v therefore_o in_o all_o reason_n to_o grow_v and_o remain_v entire_o perfect_a even_o at_o that_o instant_n for_o certain_o it_o ought_v to_o be_v so_o since_o whosoever_o receive_v so_o very_o great_a blessing_n from_o heaven_n shall_v be_v extreme_o far_o from_o care_v for_o any_o such_o delight_n as_o concern_v this_o life_n can_v possible_o bring_v to_o pass_v that_o when_o she_o grow_v to_o have_v rapt_n and_o so_o to_o receive_v more_o favour_n &_o high_a effect_n thereof_o and_o that_o so_o much_o the_o more_o as_o she_o falls-out_a to_o be_v more_o untie_v from_o the_o world_n and_o consider_v yet_o withal_o how_o in_o the_o very_a first_o instant_n when_o our_o lord_n arrive_v to_o a_o soul_n he_o can_v leave_v she_o entire_o sanctify_v how_o i_o say_v our_o lord_n can_v abandon_v this_o soul_n afterward_o in_o process_n of_o time_n without_o maintain_v it_o in_o the_o perfection_n of_o virtue_n this_o i_o say_v will_v i_o very_o fain_o know_v for_o i_o understand_v it_o not_o yet_o though_o i_o know_v well_o that_o it_o be_v a_o very_a different_a case_n what_o proportion_n of_o strength_n almighty_a god_n leave_v in_o a_o soul_n when_o his_o visitation_n at_o the_o first_o
which_o i_o feel_v to_o be_v so_o very_o great_a yea_o and_o that_o many_o time_n it_o be_v such_o that_o i_o can_v not_o avoid_v it_o though_o yet_o withal_o on_o the_o other_o side_n i_o see_v cause_n of_o very_o great_a security_n that_o it_o be_v god_n especial_o when_o i_o be_v in_o prayer_n and_o i_o find_v also_o that_o i_o be_v much_o better_v by_o it_o and_o still_o remain_v with_o more_o strength_n of_o mind_n towards_o virtue_n but_o yet_o whensoever_o i_o grow_v to_o be_v a_o little_a divert_v i_o return_v again_o to_o fear_n whether_o the_o devil_n may_v not_o have_v a_o mind_n to_o make_v i_o conceive_v that_o it_o be_v good_a for_o i_o to_o suspend_v the_o use_n of_o my_o understanding_n and_o so_o deprive_v myself_o of_o the_o exercise_n of_o mental_a prayer_n and_o that_o i_o may_v not_o be_v able_a to_o think_v upon_o the_o passion_n of_o christ_n our_o lord_n nor_o to_o serve_v myself_o as_o i_o be_v say_v of_o my_o understanding_n part_n which_o seem_v to_o i_o a_o very_a great_a inconvenience_n but_o now_o when_o his_o divine_a majesty_n be_v please_v already_o to_o give_v i_o light_n to_o the_o end_n that_o i_o may_v offend_v he_o no_o more_o and_o may_v also_o grow_v able_a to_o know_v how_o much_o i_o owe_v he_o for_o this_o goodness_n this_o fear_n come_v now_o to_o increase_v in_o such_o sort_n that_o it_o put_v i_o upon_o a_o diligent_a director_n search_n after_o some_o person_n of_o spirit_n with_o who_o i_o may_v communicate_v my_o affair_n and_o already_o i_o have_v get_v notice_n of_o some_o for_o by_o this_o time_n they_o of_o the_o society_n of_o jesus_n be_v come_v hither_o to_o which_o order_n though_o i_o yet_o know_v no_o one_o of_o they_o i_o be_v very_o affectionate_a upon_o the_o only_o reason_n of_o my_o understanding_n what_o kind_n of_o life_n they_o lead_v and_o what_o prayer_n they_o use_v but_o i_o find_v not_o myself_o worthy_a enough_o to_o speak_v with_o they_o nor_o constant_a and_o strong_a enough_o to_o obey_v they_o and_o this_o give_v i_o yet_o great_a fear_n for_o in_o fine_a to_o treat_v with_o they_o and_o yet_o to_o continue_v still_o what_o i_o be_v represent_v itself_o to_o i_o as_o a_o odd_a and_o ill-favoured_a business_n in_o these_o cogitation_n of_o i_o do_v i_o pass_v some_o time_n till_o now_o by_o the_o much_o battery_n which_o i_o make_v upon_o myself_o and_o through_o the_o fear_n to_o which_o still_o i_o be_v subject_a i_o resolve_v to_o treat_v with_o one_o who_o be_v a_o spiritual_a person_n and_o to_o ask_v he_o what_o kind_n of_o prayer_n that_o be_v which_o i_o use_v and_o to_o desire_v he_o to_o give_v i_o light_n if_o he_o find_v i_o to_o be_v in_o error_n and_o i_o resolve_v to_o use_v all_o possible_a diligence_n not_o to_o offend_v almighty_a god_n for_o the_o want_n which_o i_o find_v in_o myself_o of_o courage_n do_v continue_v i_o still_o in_o my_o fear_n o_o my_o dear_a god_n &_o how_o great_a a_o deceit_n and_o error_n be_v this_o in_o i_o to_o separate_v myself_o from_o good_a that_o so_o i_o may_v grow_v to_o be_v good_a the_o devil_n it_o seem_v be_v willing_a to_o labour_n much_o upon_o this_o point_n in_o the_o begin_n of_o our_o aspire_n to_o virtue_n for_o i_o can_v not_o in_o fine_a conquer_v myself_o herein_o he_o well_o know_v that_o the_o mean_n of_o do_v good_a to_o a_o soul_n consist_v in_o that_o she_o resolve_v to_o confer_v in_o particular_a manner_n with_o such_o as_o be_v the_o friend_n of_o almighty_a god_n and_o therefore_o i_o will_v never_o set_v any_o time_n to_o resolve_v upon_o this_o i_o expect_v to_o reform_v myself_o first_o as_o i_o have_v also_o do_v before_o when_o i_o leave_v my_o prayer_n and_o perhaps_o i_o shall_v never_o have_v go_v through_o with_o it_o for_o i_o be_v already_o decline_v so_o low_a towards_o certain_a little_a thing_n of_o ill_a custom_n and_o consequence_n which_o yet_o in_o fine_a i_o will_v not_o conclude_v to_o be_v ill_a that_o i_o be_v in_o need_n to_o be_v assist_v by_o some_o other_o who_o may_v reach_v i_o out_o his_o hand_n to_o raise_v i_o up_o and_o now_o bless_a be_v our_o lord_n for_o in_o fine_a his_o own_o be_v the_o first_o when_o now_o i_o see_v that_o my_o fear_n came-on_a so_o far_o for_o i_o proceed_v and_o increase_v in_o prayer_n i_o concean_v that_o there_o be_v either_o some_o great_a good_a or_o else_o some_o excessive_a mischief_n involue_v in_o it_o for_o already_o i_o understand_v very_o well_o that_o it_o be_v a_o supernatural_a advantage_n which_o i_o have_v since_o sometime_o i_o be_v not_o able_a to_o resist_v it_o and_o to_o obtain_v it_o also_o when_o i_o will_v can_v not_o possible_o be_v do_v upon_o this_o i_o grow_v to_o resolve_v that_o there_o will_v be_v no_o remedy_n for_o i_o if_o i_o course_n procure_v nor_o to_o have_v great_a purity_n of_o conscience_n and_o if_o i_o quit_v not_o all_o occasion_n of_o ill_a though_o it_o be_v but_o of_o venial_a sin_n for_o if_o my_o exercise_n of_o prayer_n be_v of_o the_o spirit_n of_o almighty_a god_n the_o benefit_n do_v very_o evident_o appear_v &_o if_o it_o be_v of_o the_o devil_n yet_o he_o can_v do_v i_o no_o hurt_n at_o all_o but_o rather_o will_v be_v put_v to_o sit_v down_o with_o loss_n if_o i_o shall_v procure_v to_o please_v almighty_a god_n and_o not_o offend_v he_o at_o all_o and_o now_o have_v resolve_v upon_o this_o and_o ever_o humble_o pray_v our_o bless_a lord_n that_o he_o will_v assist_v i_o and_o take_v the_o same_o course_n several_a day_n i_o yet_o find_v that_o my_o soul_n have_v not_o strength_n enough_o all_o alone_a to_o go_v through_o with_o the_o obtain_n so_o great_a perfection_n in_o regard_n of_o some_o inclination_n and_o like_v which_o i_o carry_v to_o certain_a thing_n which_o howsoever_o they_o be_v not_o very_o ill_a of_o themselves_o yet_o they_o serve_v the_o turn_n to_o spoil_v all_o they_o tell_v i_o then_o of_o a_o certain_a priest_n in_o this_o place_n who_o be_v a_o learned_a man_n and_o who_o virtue_n and_o good_a life_n our_o lord_n begin_v to_o discover_v to_o the_o world_n and_o i_o procure_v by_o mean_n of_o a_o holy_a saint_n cavallier_n dwell_v in_o the_o same_o place_n to_o acquaint_v myself_o with_o he_o this_o cavalier_n be_v a_o marry_a man_n but_o yet_o lead_v a_o life_n so_o very_o full_a of_o example_n and_o virtue_n and_o he_o be_v of_o so_o great_a prayer_n and_o charity_n that_o his_o perfection_n shine_v bright_o in_o the_o eye_n of_o all_o man_n and_o with_o much_o reason_n in_o regard_n of_o the_o great_a good_a which_o be_v grow_v to_o many_o soul_n by_o his_o mean_n as_o also_o by_o his_o great_a talent_n and_o though_o he_o be_v not_o forward_v a_o whitt_n by_o any_o plenty_n in_o his_o fortune_n yet_o he_o can_v choose_v but_o employ_v the_o mean_n he_o have_v that_o way_n he_o be_v of_o great_a understanding_n and_o of_o a_o excellent_a nature_n his_o conversation_n be_v no_o way_n troublesome_a but_o so_o agreeable_a and_o delight_v full_a together_o with_o his_o be_v just_a and_o holy_a that_o it_o give_v gust_n to_o all_o such_o as_o treat_v with_o he_o he_o ordain_v and_o govern_v all_o thing_n for_o the_o great_a good_a of_o such_o soul_n as_o he_o converse_v with_o and_o seem_v indeed_o to_o have_v no_o other_o endeavour_n or_o aim_n then_o to_o do_v good_a to_o all_o they_o who_o he_o find_v to_o be_v any_o way_n capable_a thereof_o and_o final_o to_o give_v contentment_n to_o all_o now_o this_o holy_a and_o bless_a man_n do_v i_o esteem_v to_o have_v by_o his_o industry_n and_o charity_n lay_v the_o foundation_n for_o the_o salvation_n of_o my_o soul_n and_o i_o be_o confund_v to_o think_v of_o his_o humility_n in_o that_o he_o will_v be_v content_a to_o see_v i_o for_o there_o be_v as_o i_o conceive_v little_o less_o than_o forty_o year_n wherein_o he_o have_v exercise_v mental_a prayer_n they_o may_v perhaps_o be_v few_o by_o two_o or_o three_o year_n and_o he_o lead_v his_o life_n with_o all_o that_o perfection_n which_o his_o condition_n and_o state_n may_v seem_v to_o permit_v he_o have_v a_o wife_n who_o be_v so_o great_a a_o servant_n of_o almighty_a god_n and_o a_o woman_n so_o full_a of_o charity_n that_o he_o lose_v nothing_o at_o all_o by_o possess_v she_o in_o a_o word_n he_o choose_v she_o for_o such_o a_o kind_n of_o wife_n as_o who_o almighty_a god_n know_v to_o be_v fit_a for_o so_o great_a a_o servant_n of_o he_o some_o of_o his_o kindred_n be_v marry_v to_o some_o kinswoeman_n of_o i_o and_o beside_o i_o be_v also_o acquaint_v with_o another_o great_a servant_n of_o god_n who_o be_v
they_o shall_v not_o speak_v thereof_o but_o this_o serve_v my_o turn_n to_o little_a purpose_n for_o there_o chance_v to_o be_v one_o at_o the_o gate_n when_o i_o be_v call_v who_o publish_v it_o over_o all_o the_o convent_n but_o now_o what_o difficulty_n and_o trouble_n and_o fear_n do_v the_o devil_n use_v to_o provide_v for_o such_o person_n as_o dispose_v themselves_o to_o approach_v to_o almighty_a god_n when_o i_o be_v treat_v with_o that_o servant_n of_o his_o divine_a majesty_n who_o be_v great_o so_o and_o a_o man_n also_o of_o very_o good_a discretion_n about_o the_o passage_n of_o my_o whole_a life_n and_o of_o my_o soul_n he_o declare_v to_o i_o what_o every_o thing_n be_v as_o a_o man_n who_o understand_v that_o language_n very_o well_o and_o he_o encourage_v i_o much_o and_o tell_v i_o that_o it_o be_v evident_o the_o spirit_n of_o almighty_a god_n which_o wrought_v in_o i_o happy_a but_o that_o i_o must_v return_v again_o to_o the_o exercise_n of_o prayer_n because_o i_o be_v not_o well_o ground_v therein_o nor_o have_v so_o much_o as_o begin_v to_o know_v what_o mortification_n mean_v and_o this_o be_v very_o true_a for_o i_o have_v hardly_o ever_o well_o understand_v so_o much_o as_o the_o name_n but_o that_o i_o shall_v by_o no_o mean_n give-ove_a my_o prayer_n but_o rather_o employ_v myself_o with_o more_o diligence_n and_o endeavour_v therein_o since_o almighty_a god_n have_v be_v please_v to_o do_v i_o so_o particular_a favour_n and_o what_o say_v he_o can_v any_o body_n tell_v whether_o it_o may_v not_o please_v our_o lord_n to_o do_v good_a to_o many_o even_o by_o your_o mean_n other_o thing_n also_o he_o say_v in_o such_o sort_n as_o that_o he_o may_v seem_v even_o to_o have_v prophesy_v then_o concern_v those_o thing_n which_o our_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o grant_v and_o effect_n afterward_o and_o i_o shall_v be_v subject_a to_o very_o great_a blame_n if_o i_o correspond_v not_o with_o those_o favour_n which_o our_o lord_n vouchsafe_v to_o show_v i_o in_o all_o thing_n it_o seem_v to_o i_o that_o the_o holy_a ghost_n speak_v to_o i_o by_o this_o father_n in_o order_n to_o the_o cure_n of_o my_o soul_n so_o distinct_o grow_v every_o thing_n to_o be_v imprince_v therein_o he_o put_v i_o to_o great_a confusion_n and_o direct_v i_o by_o such_o mean_n to_o proceed_v that_o he_o seem_v to_o make_v i_o absolute_o even_o another_o creature_n so_o great_a a_o thing_n it_o be_v to_o understand_v a_o soul_n he_o will_v i_o every_o day_n to_o meditate_v upon_o some_o passage_n of_o the_o passion_n of_o our_o bless_a lord_n and_o that_o i_o shall_v help_v myself_o thereby_o and_o that_o i_o shall_v not_o think_v but_o upon_o his_o holy_a humanity_n and_o that_o i_o shall_v resist_v those_o recollection_n and_o gust_n as_o much_o as_o i_o can_v and_o not_o give_v place_n to_o they_o till_o he_o shall_v express_v himself_o to_o i_o by_o some_o other_o order_n he_o leave_v i_o both_o comfort_v and_o strengthen_v and_o our_o lord_n assist_v both_o i_o and_o he_o to_o the_o end_n that_o he_o may_v understand_v my_o condition_n and_o in_o what_o sort_n i_o be_v to_o govern_v myself_o and_o i_o remain_v with_o a_o resolution_n not_o to_o swerve_v at_o all_o from_o any_o thing_n which_o he_o have_v or_o shall_v command_v i_o and_o therein_o have_v i_o continue_v till_o this_o very_a day_n our_o lord_n be_v bless_v and_o praise_v for_o have_v give_v i_o grace_n to_o obey_v my_o ghostly_a father_n though_o yet_o after_o a_o imperfect_a manner_n and_o they_o have_v in_o effect_n ever_o be_v these_o bless_a man_n of_o the_o society_n of_o jesus_n howsoever_o as_o i_o be_v say_v i_o have_v follow_v they_o after_o a_o imperfect_a manner_n but_o now_o my_o soul_n begin_v to_o receive_v a_o evident_a kind_n of_o amendment_n and_o improvement_n as_o i_o will_v here_o declare_v the_o four_o and_o twenty_o chapter_n she_o prosecute_v the_o former_a discourse_n and_o show_n how_o her_o soul_n go_v profit_v when_o once_o she_o have_v begin_v to_o obey_v she_o also_o declare_v for_o how_o little_a purpose_n it_o serve_v to_o resist_v the_o favour_n of_o almighty_a god_n and_o how_o his_o divine_a majesty_n go_v daily_o impart_v they_o to_o she_o after_o a_o more_o complete_a manner_n but_o now_o my_o soul_n remain_v so_o supple_a and_o tractable_a by_o mean_n of_o this_o last_o confession_n of_o i_o that_o i_o think_v there_o can_v be_v nothing_o to_o which_o i_o will_v not_o dispose_v myself_o and_o so_o i_o instant_o begin_v to_o change_v in_o many_o thing_n though_o yet_o my_o ghostly_a father_n do_v not_o soul_n press_v i_o much_o but_o rather_o seem_v to_o make_v little_a account_n of_o they_o and_o this_o wrought_v even_o so_o much_o the_o more_o upon_o i_o for_o he_o carry_v i_o rather_o on_o by_o way_n of_o give_v i_o certain_a liberty_n in_o little_a thing_n then_o of_o pressure_n unlosse_n myself_o can_v find_v in_o my_o hart_n to_o do_v it_o for_o love._n in_o the_o mean_a time_n i_o continue_v upon_o the_o point_n of_o two_o month_n use_v all_o the_o diligence_n that_o possible_o i_o can_v to_o resist_v the_o favour_n and_o regalo_n of_o almighty_a god_n as_o for_o my_o exterior_a conversation_n and_o proceed_v there_o be_v already_o a_o apparent_a change_n to_o be_v see_v in_o i_o for_o already_o our_o bless_a lord_n begin_v to_o give_v i_o courage_n to_o do_v certain_a thing_n which_o the_o person_n who_o see_v and_o know_v i_o hold_v to_o be_v extreme_a and_o even_o in_o the_o very_a house_n itself_o and_o in_o respect_n of_o what_o i_o be_v wont_a to_o do_v before_o they_o may_v indeed_o be_v account_v to_o hang_v that_o way_n though_o yet_o still_o it_o all_o fall_v short_a enough_o of_o that_o to_o which_o i_o be_v oblige_v both_o by_o the_o habit_n which_o i_o have_v take_v and_o by_o the_o profession_n also_o which_o i_o have_v make_v from_o that_o resistance_n which_o i_o make_v to_o the_o gust_n and_o regalo_n of_o almighty_a god_n i_o gain_v thus_o much_o that_o his_o divine_a majesty_n come_v to_o be_v please_v to_o be_v my_o instructor_n himself_o for_o before_o it_o seem_v that_o for_o the_o dispose_n i_o towards_o the_o receive_n of_o any_o such_o regalo_n as_o those_o there_o be_v need_v that_o i_o shall_v retire_v and_o shut_v myself_o as_o it_o be_v up_o into_o corner_n and_o i_o also_o dare_v not_o as_o it_o be_v move_v or_o stir_v but_o afterward_o i_o quick_o find_v how_o little_a all_o that_o serve_v to_o the_o purpose_n for_o when_o i_o procure_v to_o divert_v myself_o most_o so_o much_o the_o more_o do_v our_o bless_a lord_n cover_v i_o as_o it_o be_v all_o over_o with_o that_o kind_n of_o suavitie_n and_o glory_n as_o seem_v even_o to_o compass_v i_o in_o on_o every_o side_n in_o such_o sort_n as_o that_o it_o be_v not_o possible_a for_o i_o to_o escape_v from_o it_o and_o real_o so_o it_o be_v for_o as_o for_o i_o i_o take_v so_o much_o care_n to_o decline_v it_o that_o it_o do_v even_o put_v i_o to_o pain_n and_o yet_o our_o lord_n be_v please_v even_o still_o to_o have_v more_o care_n to_o be_v do_v i_o favour_n and_o to_o express_v himself_o that_o way_n in_o those_o two_o month_n i_o say_v much_o more_o than_o he_o have_v former_o do_v to_o the_o end_n that_o i_o may_v the_o better_a know_v that_o this_o business_n do_v now_o no_o long_o depend_v any_o way_n upon_o myself_o and_o now_o i_o begin_v to_o grow_v to_o carry_v a_o new_a and_o fresh_a kind_n of_o love_n towards_o the_o most_o sacred_a humanity_n of_o our_o bless_a lord_n and_o my_o prayer_n begin_v to_o settle_v itself_o like_o a_o building_n which_o now_o have_v mortar_n in_o it_o that_o may_v make_v the_o part_n stick_v together_o and_o i_o begin_v also_o to_o incline_v myself_o more_o to_o the_o do_v of_o penance_n wherein_o i_o be_v grow_v a_o little_a slack_a by_o reason_n of_o my_o so_o great_a infirmity_n for_o that_o holy_a man_n to_o who_o i_o make_v my_o confession_n tell_v i_o that_o some_o kind_n of_o penance_n which_o he_o name_v will_v do_v i_o no_o hurt_n and_o that_o perhaps_o almighty_a god_n give_v i_o sickness_n in_o the_o quality_n of_o penance_n since_o i_o will_v impose_v none_o upon_o myself_o he_o will_v i_o also_o to_o do_v certain_a act_n of_o mortification_n which_o be_v not_o very_o please_v to_o i_o though_o yet_o i_o went-through_a with_o they_o all_o because_o it_o seem_v to_o i_o as_o if_o our_o lord_n himself_o have_v command_v they_o and_o his_o divine_a majesty_n give_v he_o also_o grace_n to_o direct_v they_o in_o such_o sort_n as_o that_o i_o shall_v be_v glad_a to_o obey_v he_o my_o soul_n go_v then_o
great_o feel_v every_o offence_n which_o i_o may_v commit_v against_o almighty_a god_n how_o light_n or_o small_a soever_o the_o same_o may_v be_v in_o such_o sort_n and_o to_o so_o high_a a_o proportion_n as_o that_o if_o i_o do_v but_o wear_v any_o one_o little_a superfluous_a thing_n about_o i_o i_o be_v not_o able_a to_o recollect_v myself_o till_o i_o have_v put_v it_o off_o i_o make_v much_o prayer_n to_o our_o bless_a lord_n that_o he_o will_v be_v please_v to_o protect_v i_o still_o and_o that_o since_o i_o converse_v and_o treat_v the_o business_n of_o my_o soul_n with_o his_o servant_n he_o will_v never_o permit_v that_o i_o shall_v return_v back_o again_o for_o i_o conceive_v that_o that_o will_v be_v a_o strange_a offence_n in_o i_o yea_o and_o that_o even_o they_o will_v grow_v to_o loose_a credit_n by_o it_o upon_o my_o occasion_n at_o this_o time_n come_v to_o this_o place_n father_n francis_n borgia_n who_o have_v be_v duke_n of_o gandia_n and_o who_o already_o some_o year_n before_o have_v leave_v all_o and_o have_v enter_v into_o the_o society_n of_o jesus_n and_o now_o my_o ghostly_a father_n as_o also_o the_o cavalier_n of_o who_o i_o speak_v before_o come_v to_o i_o with_o desire_n that_o i_o will_v speak_v with_o father_n borgia_n and_o that_o i_o will_v also_o give_v he_o account_v of_o the_o prayer_n i_o hold_v for_o they_o know_v that_o the_o say_a father_n borgia_n be_v a_o person_n sake_n far_o advance_v in_o be_v much_o favour_v and_o regale_v by_o almighty_a god_n and_o that_o as_o one_o who_o have_v leave_v very_o much_o in_o this_o world_n for_o the_o love_n of_o our_o lord_n he_o be_v resolve_v to_o pay_v he_o for_o it_o even_o here_o when_o father_n borgia_n have_v hear_v i_o he_o tell_v i_o that_o it_o be_v the_o spirit_n of_o almighty_a god_n and_o that_o he_o be_v of_o opinion_n that_o now_o it_o be_v fit_a no_o long_o to_o resist_v his_o favour_n though_o yet_o till_o then_o he_o think_v it_o to_o have_v be_v well_o do_v but_o that_o i_o shall_v always_o begin_v my_o prayer_n with_o the_o consideration_n of_o some_o passage_n of_o the_o passion_n and_o if_o afterward_o our_o bless_a lord_n will_v elevate_v the_o spirit_n i_o shall_v not_o resist_v it_o but_o suffer_v his_o divine_a majesty_n to_o carry_v it_o away_o provide_v always_o that_o myself_o shall_v not_o have_v any_o hand_n in_o procure_v it_o but_o he_o in_o fine_a as_o be_v a_o man_n who_o have_v travail_v far_o already_o in_o that_o way_n do_v give_v i_o both_o counsel_n and_o physic_n for_o experience_n be_v a_o great_a matter_n in_o these_o affair_n and_o he_o say_v it_o be_v a_o error_n to_o resist_v the_o favour_n of_o almighty_a god_n now_o any_o long_o myself_o be_v great_o comfort_v by_o this_o and_o so_o also_o be_v the_o cavalier_n and_o he_o rejoice_v much_o to_o hear_v father_n borgia_n say_v that_o it_o be_v of_o almighty_a god_n and_o he_o also_o advise_v and_o assist_v i_o in_o what_o he_o can_v which_o be_v very_o much_o about_o this_o time_n they_o change_v my_o ghostly_a father_n from_o that_o place_n to_o another_o which_o i_o resent_v extreme_o for_o i_o think_v i_o be_v to_o turn_v wicked_a again_o as_o also_o i_o conceive_v that_o it_o will_v not_o be_v possible_a that_o ever_o i_o shall_v find_v another_o like_v he_o my_o soul_n be_v full_a of_o discomfort_n and_o fear_n even_o as_o if_o it_o have_v be_v plant_v in_o a_o kind_n of_o desert_n nor_o do_v i_o know_v in_o fine_a what_o to_o do_v with_o myself_o a_o certain_a kinswoeman_n of_o i_o procure_v then_o to_o carry_v i_o along_o with_o she_o to_o her_o house_n and_o i_o procure_v also_o to_o go_v the_o rather_o that_o so_o i_o may_v get_v another_o confessarius_fw-la of_o the_o society_n of_o jesus_n our_o lord_n be_v also_o please_v then_o that_o i_o shall_v make_v friendship_n with_o a_o certain_a lady_n a_o widow_n who_o be_v both_o of_o much_o quality_n and_o of_o great_a prayer_n and_o she_o converse_v very_o much_o with_o the_o father_n of_o the_o say_a society_n and_o she_o draw_v i_o also_o to_o confess_v to_o her_o confessarius_fw-la i_o remain_v a_o good_a while_n in_o her_o house_n for_o she_o live_v near_o i_o and_o i_o be_v glad_a to_o treat_v much_o with_o those_o father_n for_o even_o by_o the_o only_a understanding_n which_o i_o come_v to_o have_v of_o the_o sanctity_n of_o their_o conversation_n and_o way_n of_o proceed_v the_o profit_n which_o my_o soul_n find_v and_o feel_v be_v great_a this_o father_n begin_v to_o address_v i_o and_o engage_v i_o upon_o way_n of_o more_o perfection_n he_o tell_v i_o that_o for_o the_o give_v almighty_a god_n entire_a contentment_n and_o gust_n there_o be_v nothing_o to_o be_v lest_o undo_v but_o this_o man_n he_o say_v with_o a_o great_a deal_n of_o prudence_n and_o sweetness_n for_o my_o soul_n be_v not_o yet_o any_o thing_n strong_a but_o green_a and_o tender_a especial_o in_o the_o point_n of_o giving-ove_a certain_a freindships_n which_o i_o maintain_v at_o that_o time_n for_o though_o i_o offend_v not_o almighty_a god_n thereby_o yet_o the_o affection_n which_o i_o bear_v they_o be_v very_o great_a and_o i_o hold_v it_o to_o be_v a_o kind_n of_o ingratitude_n to_o give_v they_o over_o and_o so_o i_o also_o tell_v he_o that_o since_o almighty_a god_n be_v not_o offend_v by_o it_o what_o reason_n can_v there_o be_v why_o i_o shall_v become_v ungrateful_a he_o say_v i_o shall_v do_v well_o to_o recommend_v it_o to_o almighty_a god_n for_o some_o day_n and_o to_o recite_v the_o hymn_n of_o veni_fw-la creator_n spiritus_fw-la &c_n &c_n that_o so_o the_o holie-ghost_n may_v give_v i_o light_n to_o do_v that_o which_o be_v best_a have_v therefore_o be_v one_o day_n much_o in_o prayer_n and_o humble_o beseech_v our_o bless_a lord_n that_o he_o will_v assist_v i_o to_o please_v he_o in_o all_o thing_n i_o begin_v the_o hymn_n and_o whilst_o i_o be_v say_v it_o there_o come_v a_o rapt_v upon_o i_o so_o instant_o and_o so_o sudden_o that_o it_o take_v i_o as_o it_o be_v out_o of_o myself_o and_o of_o this_o i_o can_v not_o doubt_v for_o it_o be_v very_o evident_a and_o it_o be_v also_o the_o very_a first_o time_n that_o our_o lord_n show_v i_o the_o favour_n of_o rapt_n and_o then_o i_o hear_v these_o far_o word_n from_o he_o i_o will_v not_o have_v thou_o now_o hold_v conversation_n with_o man_n but_o with_o angel_n this_o give_v i_o a_o great_a amazement_n for_o the_o commotion_n of_o the_o soul_n be_v great_a and_o those_o word_n be_v speak_v to_o i_o in_o the_o very_a interior_a part_n of_o the_o spirit_n so_o that_o they_o make_v i_o afraid_a though_o yet_o on_o the_o other_o side_n they_o give_v i_o also_o great_a consolation_n which_o upon_o the_o very_a flight_n of_o that_o fear_n which_o have_v in_o my_o opinion_n cause_v that_o strange_a novelty_n do_v still_o remain_v with_o i_o the_o truth_n be_v that_o this_o speech_n of_o our_o lord_n have_v be_v very_o well_o accomplish_v and_o perform_v for_o never_o have_v i_o be_v even_o able_a any_o more_o to_o establish_v any_o friendship_n at_o all_o nor_o to_o feel_v any_o consolation_n nor_o entertain_v any_o particular_a love_n towards_o any_o other_o person_n than_o such_o as_o i_o understand_v and_o know_v to_o love_v almighty_a god_n and_o to_o procure_v to_o serve_v he_o nor_o be_v it_o now_o any_o long_a in_o my_o hand_n or_o power_n nor_o serve_v it_o a_o whitt_n to_o the_o purpose_n whether_o any_o of_o they_o be_v kindred_n or_o friend_n or_o no_o for_o if_o i_o understand_v not_o that_o he_o be_v the_o servant_n of_o almighty_a god_n or_o a_o person_n addict_v to_o prayer_n it_o be_v no_o less_o than_o a_o heavy_a cross_n for_o i_o to_o converse_v much_o with_o any_o creature_n and_o this_o be_v certain_o true_a to_o the_o uttermost_a of_o what_o i_o can_v judge_v of_o myself_o from_o that_o day_n forward_o i_o have_v remain_v full_a of_o courage_n and_o resolution_n to_o leave_v the_o whole_a world_n for_o almighty_a god_n in_o regard_n he_o have_v be_v please_v in_o that_o very_a moment_n for_o it_o seem_v no_o more_o to_o i_o than_o a_o very_a moment_n to_o make_v this_o servant_n of_o he_o become_v whole_o another_o creature_n than_o what_o she_o have_v be_v so_o that_o now_o there_o be_v no_o long_a need_n that_o they_o shall_v command_v i_o in_o that_o particular_a any_o more_o for_o when_o my_o ghostly_a father_n have_v find_v i_o to_o be_v so_o fix_v upon_o this_o point_n he_o have_v not_o yet_o adventure_v to_o will_v i_o express_o to_o do_v it_o for_o he_o do_v without_o all_o doubt_n expect_v that_o our_o lord_n shall_v be_v please_v to_o
the_o matter_n be_v that_o when_o these_o thing_n be_v of_o the_o devil_n it_o seem_v as_o if_o all_o kind_n of_o benediction_n do_v hide_v itself_o and_o even_o fly_v from_o the_o soul_n so_o untoward_a and_o unquiet_a and_o in_o so_o great_a disorder_n do_v she_o remain_v without_o any_o one_o good_a effect_n at_o all_o for_o though_o there_o may_v be_v a_o seem_a as_o if_o there_o be_v a_o plant_n of_o good_a desire_n in_o she_o yet_o they_o be_v not_o effectual_a or_o strong_a the_o humility_n which_o he_o leave_v behind_o he_o be_v false_a unquiet_a and_o without_o any_o suavitie_n at_o all_o and_o i_o think_v this_o may_v be_v easy_o enough_o understand_v by_o any_o creature_n who_o have_v experience_n of_o what_o a_o good_a spirit_n be_v but_o yet_o the_o devil_n be_v very_o able_a to_o play_v many_o trick_n and_o therefore_o there_o be_v nothing_o of_o this_o kind_n so_o certain_a and_o clear_a but_o that_o somewhat_o may_v still_o be_v fear_v at_o his_o hand_n and_o so_o it_o will_v ever_o be_v well_o do_v to_o proceed_v with_o caution_n and_o advice_n and_o to_o have_v a_o director_n who_o may_v be_v learned_a and_o to_o conceal_v nothing_o from_o he_o and_o so_o the_o party_n shall_v be_v sure_a to_o take_v no_o hurt_n though_o yet_o i_o have_v have_v my_o part_n thereof_o through_o the_o excessive_a fear_n to_o which_o some_o of_o they_o be_v subject_a in_o particular_a it_o happen_v to_o i_o once_o that_o many_o person_n meet_v together_o in_o who_o i_o have_v belief_n enough_o and_o there_o be_v reason_n that_o i_o shall_v have_v it_o and_o though_o i_o proceed_v herein_o after_o the_o manner_n of_o entire_a confidence_n but_o with_o one_o yet_o when_o he_o command_v i_o i_o speak_v also_o with_o other_o they_o treat_v much_o about_o find_v remedy_n for_o all_o my_o inconvenience_n for_o they_o love_v i_o very_o much_o and_o i_o doubt_v that_o i_o may_v perhaps_o be_v deceive_v and_o i_o be_v also_o subject_a to_o extreme_a fear_n whensoever_o i_o be_v not_o in_o prayer_n for_o when_o i_o be_v and_o when_o our_o lord_n vouchsafe_v to_o do_v i_o any_o favour_n therein_o i_o grow_v present_o into_o good_a assurance_n and_o i_o think_v they_o be_v five_o or_o six_o of_o they_o and_o they_o be_v all_o great_a servant_n of_o almighty_a god_n but_o then_o my_o ghostly_a father_n tell_v i_o that_o they_o encounter_n all_o have_v grow_v to_o resolve_v that_o it_o be_v the_o devil_n and_o direct_v i_o not_o to_o communicate_v so_o often_o and_o that_o i_o shall_v endeavour_v to_o divert_v myself_o in_o such_o sort_n as_o that_o i_o may_v not_o be_v much_o alone_a now_o i_o be_v extreme_o timorous_a in_o these_o case_n as_o i_o have_v say_v and_o the_o palpitation_n of_o my_o hart_n help_v i_o on_o therein_o so_o that_o i_o have_v not_o the_o courage_n many_o time_n to_o be_v alone_o in_o my_o room_n even_o by_o day_n but_o when_o i_o find_v what_o so_o many_o of_o they_o affirm_v which_o yet_o i_o can_v by_o no_o mean_n believe_v i_o grow_v to_o have_v a_o extreme_a scruple_n as_o conceave_a that_o this_o be_v a_o sign_n of_o very_o little_a humility_n in_o myself_o since_o they_o all_o be_v incomparable_o of_o better_a life_n than_o i_o and_o beside_o all_o this_o they_o be_v learn_v and_o in_o fine_a why_o shall_v not_o i_o believe_v they_o i_o force_v myself_o the_o best_a i_o can_v to_o do_v it_o and_o i_o think_v much_o of_o my_o own_o wicked_a life_n and_o how_o consider_v that_o it_o may_v be_v likely_a enough_o to_o be_v true_a which_o they_o say_v upon_o this_o i_o go_v into_o the_o church_n with_o this_o affliction_n and_o pass_v on_o into_o a_o oratory_n have_v forbear_v many_o day_n to_o communicate_v and_o avoid_v also_o to_o be_v alone_o which_o yet_o have_v former_o be_v my_o total_a comfort_n and_o all_o this_o without_o have_v one_o person_n with_o who_o i_o may_v treat_v for_o they_o be_v all_o against_o i_o nay_o some_o of_o they_o i_o think_v make_v themselves_o as_o it_o be_v merry_a with_o i_o whensoever_o i_o will_v be_v tell_v they_o what_o i_o think_v and_o other_o will_v be_v advise_v my_o ghostly_a father_n to_o take_v heed_n of_o i_o nay_o some_o will_v go_v so_o far_o as_o to_o say_v that_o it_o be_v clear_o the_o devil_n only_o my_o ghostly_a father_n though_o he_o conform_v himself_o with_o those_o other_o as_o i_o grow_v to_o understand_v afterward_o so_o far_o as_o to_o have_v i_o try_v do_v ever_o give_v i_o comfort_n and_o tell_v i_o that_o though_o it_o shall_v be_v the_o devil_n yet_o i_o not_o offend_v almighty_a god_n he_o will_v be_v able_a to_o do_v i_o no_o hurt_n that_o the_o difficulty_n will_v grow_v to_o be_v remove_v that_o in_o the_o mean_a time_n i_o shall_v pray_v hearty_o to_o almighty_a god_n and_o that_o he_o and_o all_o those_o other_o and_o many_o more_o also_o than_o they_o will_v do_v the_o like_a and_o all_o my_o prayer_n and_o they_o who_o i_o conceive_v to_o be_v the_o servant_n of_o almighty_a god_n aim_v at_o this_o that_o his_o divine_a majesty_n will_v be_v please_v to_o carry_v i_o on_o by_o some_o other_o way_n and_o this_o kind_n of_o make_v continual_a intercession_n to_o our_o lord_n may_v last_v about_o a_o matter_n of_o some_o two_o year_n as_o for_o i_o i_o be_v capable_a of_o no_o comfort_n when_o i_o think_v once_o that_o it_o be_v possible_a for_o the_o devil_n to_o be_v so_o often_o speak_v to_o i_o and_o in_o i_o but_o in_o regard_n that_o now_o i_o employ_v no_o more_o hour_n of_o my_o time_n in_o solitude_n for_o prayer_n our_o lord_n give_v i_o recollection_n even_o when_o i_o be_v in_o conversation_n and_o so_o as_o that_o i_o be_v not_o able_a to_o avoid_v it_o and_o he_o say_v such_o thing_n to_o i_o as_o he_o please_v and_o i_o in_o the_o mean_a time_n be_v trouble_v that_o i_o be_v fain_o to_o hear_v he_o but_o once_o be_v all_o alone_a without_o have_v any_o creature_n by_o i_o upon_o who_o to_o ease_v myself_o i_o can_v neither_o pray_v nor_o read_v but_o be_v like_o a_o person_n even_o all_o amaze_v at_o so_o great_a tribulation_n as_o i_o endure_v and_o with_o so_o much_o fear_n to_o consider_v whether_o the_o devil_n be_v to_o have_v power_n to_o circumvent_v i_o in_o this_o manner_n or_o no._n and_o be_v all_o disorder_a and_o even_o tire_v without_o know_v what_o to_o do_v with_o myself_o for_o i_o have_v see_v myself_o in_o this_o affliction_n and_o that_o very_a often_o though_o yet_o never_o to_o my_o think_n in_o so_o great_a extremity_n as_o then_o i_o remain_v four_o or_o five_o hour_n after_o this_o manner_n for_o there_o seem_v to_o be_v no_o comfort_n at_o all_o for_o i_o either_o upon_o earth_n or_o yet_o from_o heaven_n but_o our_o lord_n leave_v i_o so_o in_o sufferance_n and_o under_o the_o fear_n also_o of_o a_o thousand_o danger_n o_o my_o dear_a lord_n and_o how_o true_o be_v thou_o a_o true_a friend_n and_o how_o powerful_a be_v thou_o to_o do_v what_o thou_o will_v and_o do_v never_o leave_v to_o love_v they_o who_o love_v thou_o if_o they_o love_v thou_o indeed_o let_v all_o thing_n praise_v thou_o o_o thou_o lord_n of_o the_o whole_a world_n and_o o_o that_o i_o can_v cry_v out_o loud_a enough_o through_o that_o whole_a world_n to_o declare_v how_o faithful_a and_o true_a thou_o be_v to_o thy_o friend_n all_o other_o thing_n grow_v to_o fail_v we_o but_o thou_o who_o be_v the_o lord_n of_o they_o all_o do_v never_o fail_v and_o it_o be_v little_a also_o which_o thou_o permit_v such_o as_o love_v thou_o to_o suffer_v for_o thou_o o_o my_o dear_a lord_n how_o delicate_o and_o how_o smooth_o yea_o and_o how_o savoury_o also_o do_v thou_o know_v how_o to_o treat_v such_o soul_n o_o that_o a_o creature_n who_o i_o know_v have_v be_v so_o happy_a as_o never_o to_o have_v detain_v herself_o upon_o love_v any_o other_o thing_n then_o thou_o it_o seem_v indeed_o o_o lord_n that_o sometime_o thou_o trye_v such_o as_o love_v thou_o with_o a_o kind_n of_o rigour_n to_o the_o end_n that_o by_o that_o extremity_n of_o trouble_n they_o may_v afterward_o come_v the_o better_o to_o find_v and_o feel_v thereby_o the_o great_a excess_n of_o thy_o love_n o_o my_o god_n that_o i_o have_v understanding_n and_o learning_n yea_o and_o new_a word_n so_o to_o be_v able_a to_o exaggerate_v thy_o work_n according_a to_o that_o intelligence_n which_o my_o soul_n have_v thereof_o all_o this_o be_v want_v to_o i_o o_o my_o dear_a lord_n but_o yet_o if_o thou_o forsake_v i_o not_o i_o will_v never_o be_v want_v to_o thou_o let_v all_o the_o learned_a man_n of_o the_o world_n rise-up_a against_o
i_o let_v the_o devil_n of_o hell_n torment_v i_o yea_o let_v all_o creature_n persecute_v i_o but_o only_o be_v not_o thou_o want_v to_o i_o o_o my_o dear_a lord_n for_o i_o know_v by_o good_a experience_n with_o how_o much_o advantage_n and_o fruit_n thou_o deliver_v all_o such_o person_n as_o put_v their_o confidence_n in_o thou_o alone_o for_o when_o i_o be_v in_o this_o great_a and_o miserable_a affliction_n of_o spirit_n at_o a_o time_n when_o i_o have_v not_o enjoy_v any_o one_o vision_n at_o all_o these_o only_a few_o lord_n follow_a word_n be_v sufficient_a to_o free_v i_o from_o all_o trouble_n and_o to_o quiet_v i_o entire_o fear_v not_o o_o my_o daughter_n for_o it_o be_v i_o and_o i_o will_v not_o forsake_v thou_o do_v not_o fear_v it_o seem_v to_o i_o that_o consider_v what_o kind_n of_o creature_n i_o be_v then_o there_o will_v have_v be_v need_n of_o a_o long_a time_n to_o persuade_v i_o to_o quiet_v myself_o and_o that_o no_o body_n will_v have_v be_v able_a to_o do_v it_o and_o yet_o now_o behold_v i_o here_o all_o quiet_v and_o compose_v by_o these_o few_o word_n and_o i_o be_v endue_v with_o strength_n with_o courage_n &_o with_o security_n which_o be_v accompany_v with_o a_o kind_n of_o repose_n and_o light_n in_o such_o sort_n as_o that_o at_o that_o very_a instant_n i_o see_v my_o soul_n become_v a_o direct_a other_o thing_n than_o it_o be_v before_o and_o i_o think_v i_o can_v even_o have_v dispute_v against_o the_o whole_a world_n in_o proof_n that_o this_o proceed_v from_o almighty_a god_n o_o what_o a_o good_a dear_a god_n be_v this_o o_o what_o a_o good_a dear_a lord_n be_v he_o and_o how_o very_o powerful_a for_o not_o only_o do_v he_o give_v the_o counsel_n but_o the_o remedy_n also_o his_o very_a word_n be_v work_n and_o o_o how_o do_v he_o both_o strengthen_v our_o faith_n and_o increase_v our_o love_n it_o be_v real_o very_o true_a that_o i_o often_o call_v to_o mind_n how_o our_o lord_n have_v command_v the_o wind_n to_o compose_v and_o quiet_a themselves_o at_o sea_n when_o a_o tempest_n have_v be_v raise_v and_o so_o also_o do_v i_o say_v who_o be_v this_o who_o all_o the_o power_n of_o my_o soul_n obey_v and_o who_o at_o a_o instant_n brings-in_a light_n to_o chase_v so_o great_a a_o obscurity_n away_o and_o make_v that_o hart_n grow_v soft_a and_o supple_a which_o seem_v to_o have_v the_o very_a hardness_n of_o stone_n and_o know_v how_o to_o drive_v and_o draw-downe_a the_o water_n of_o sweet_a tear_n where_o there_o be_v so_o great_a a_o drought_n so_o long_o before_o who_o be_v he_o that_o can_v inspire_v these_o desire_n who_o can_v imprint_v such_o a_o courage_n what_o be_v i_o about_o to_o doubt_v and_o what_o can_v i_o fear_v what_o be_v this_o i_o desire_v to_o serve_v this_o lord_n and_o i_o pretend_v no_o other_o thing_n then_o to_o please_v he_o i_o renounce_v all_o contentment_n and_o ease_n or_o any_o other_o good_a at_o all_o but_o only_o the_o accomplish_n of_o his_o will._n for_o of_o this_o i_o be_v very_o sure_a in_o my_o opinion_n and_o that_o i_o may_v safe_o affirm_v it_o that_o since_o this_o lord_n be_v so_o powerful_a as_o i_o see_v he_o be_v and_o as_o i_o know_v he_o be_v and_o that_o all_o the_o devil_n of_o hell_n be_v his_o slave_n and_o of_o this_o there_o can_v be_v no_o doubt_n since_o it_o be_v matter_n of_o faith_n and_o i_o be_v the_o servant_n of_o this_o lord_n and_o king_n what_o hurt_n can_v they_o all_o be_v able_a to_o do_v i_o and_o why_o may_v not_o i_o have_v strength_n enough_o to_o fight_v with_o all_o the_o power_n of_o hell_n i_o then_o take_v a_o cross_n into_o my_o hand_n and_o real_o i_o think_v god_n give_v i_o courage_n to_o conceive_v that_o i_o shall_v be_v short_o another_o kind_n of_o woman_n and_o that_o i_o be_v not_o to_o be_v afraid_a to_o wrestle_v a_o fall_n with_o the_o devil_n devil_n but_o conceive_v that_o together_o with_o that_o cross_n i_o shall_v be_v easy_o able_a to_o overcome_v they_o all_o yea_o and_o once_o i_o provoke_v they_o thus_o come_v towards_o i_o as_o many_o of_o you_o as_o dare_v for_o i_o be_v the_o servant_n of_o our_o lord_n will_v see_v what_o you_o all_o can_v do_v against_o i_o and_o it_o be_v most_o certain_a that_o i_o think_v they_o be_v afraid_a of_o i_o and_o for_o my_o part_n i_o remain_v so_o in_o quiet_a and_o so_o total_o without_o fear_n of_o they_o all_o that_o all_o the_o fear_n which_o i_o have_v former_o conceive_v till_o that_o very_o present_a time_n be_v remove_v from_o i_o for_o though_o i_o see_v they_o sometime_o as_o i_o shall_v declare_v afterward_o yet_o i_o never_o fear_v they_o more_o but_o conceive_v that_o they_o be_v rather_o afraid_a of_o i_o i_o possess_v a_o dominion_n over_o they_o which_o have_v be_v give_v i_o by_o the_o lord_n of_o all_o creature_n and_o i_o make_v no_o more_o reckon_n of_o they_o then_o of_o so_o many_o fly_n and_o they_o seem_v to_o be_v of_o so_o cowardly_a a_o nature_n that_o when_o once_o they_o come_v to_o find_v that_o they_o be_v not_o esteem_v they_o have_v no_o power_n at_o all_o for_o this_o kind_n of_o enemy_n know_v not_o how_o to_o set_v upon_o any_o one_o who_o render_v not_o himself_o up_o to_o they_o or_o else_o when_o almighty_a god_n permitt_v for_o the_o great_a good_a of_o his_o servant_n that_o they_o may_v tempt_v and_o torment_v they_o i_o will_v to_o god_n it_o may_v please_v his_o divine_a majesty_n that_o we_o will_v fear_v who_o indeed_o we_o ought_v to_o fear_v and_o that_o we_o may_v perfect_o understand_v that_o we_o shall_v receive_v more_o prejudice_n by_o commit_v any_o truth_n one_o single_a venial_a sin_n then_o by_o all_o the_o power_n of_o hell_n put_v together_o for_o this_o be_v a_o most_o certain_a truth_n how_o extreme_o do_v these_o devil_n carry_v we_o fright_v up_o and_o down_o because_o ourselves_o indeed_o will_v needs_o give_v occasion_n thereof_o by_o our_o be_v so_o close_o fasten_v as_o we_o be_v to_o our_o honour_n to_o our_o estate_n and_o to_o our_o delight_n for_o then_o we_o be_v join_v together_o with_o these_o impediment_n by_o love_v and_o desire_v to_o possess_v they_o who_o be_v our_o contrary_n &_o who_o we_o ought_v to_o abhor_v they_o grow_v able_a to_o do_v we_o much_o hurt_n for_o we_o enable_v they_o to_o fight_v against_o our_o very_a self_n with_o our_o own_o weapon_n which_o we_o put_v into_o their_o hand_n though_o indeed_o we_o be_v to_o defend_v ourselves_o thereby_o against_o they_o and_o this_o be_v both_o pity_n and_o shame_n but_o now_o if_o on_o the_o other_o side_n we_o shall_v resolve_v to_o abhor_v all_o those_o thing_n for_o the_o love_n of_o our_o lord_n and_o embrace_v his_o cross_n and_o pitch_n upon_o do_v he_o service_n in_o good_a earnest_n he_o fly_v as_o fast_v away_o from_o these_o solid_a truth_n as_o a_o man_n will_v do_v from_o the_o plague_n in_o fine_a he_o be_v a_o friend_n of_o lie_n yea_o and_o a_o very_a lie_n himself_o he_o be_v easy_o keep_v from_o meddle_v much_o with_o such_o person_n as_o walk_v entire_o according_a to_o truth_n but_o when_o once_o he_o can_v discover_v that_o a_o man_n understanding_n grow_v to_o be_v obscure_v he_o have_v a_o particular_a grace_n in_o procure_v to_o break_v the_o very_a string_n of_o his_o eye_n and_o if_o he_o see_v one_o already_o prove_v so_o blind_a as_o that_o he_o will_v needs_o build_v his_o rest_n and_o ease_n upon_o vain_a thing_n and_o so_o vain_a as_o that_o be_v thing_n of_o this_o world_n they_o be_v no_o better_o than_o toy_n fit_a for_o child_n he_o find_v already_o that_o such_o a_o person_n be_v a_o very_a child_n and_o so_o he_o treat_v he_o like_o such_o a_o one_o and_o wrestle_v with_o he_o more_o or_o less_o as_o he_o see_v cause_n i_o beseech_v our_o bless_a lord_n that_o i_o may_v never_o prove_v to_o be_v one_o of_o these_o but_o that_o his_o divine_a majesty_n may_v be_v please_v to_o do_v i_o so_o much_o favour_n as_o that_o i_o may_v understand_v that_o to_o be_v ease_n and_o rest_n which_o be_v indeed_o true_a ease_n and_o rest_n and_o that_o to_o be_v honour_n which_o be_v true_a honour_n &_o delight_n which_o be_v true_a delight_n and_o not_o the_o direct_a contrary_n to_o all_o this_o and_o then_o a_o fig_n for_o all_o the_o devil_n in_o hell_n for_o then_o they_o shall_v be_v all_o of_o they_o afraid_a of_o i_o for_o my_o part_n i_o understand_v not_o those_o fear_n of_o the_o devil_n and_o the_o devil_n and_o i_o know_v not_o what_o when_o we_o may_v be_v able_a to_o say_v god_n and_o god_n etc._n etc._n
and_o so_o make_v those_o wretch_n tremble_v for_o already_o we_o know_v well_o enough_o that_o the_o devil_n be_v not_o able_a to_o stir_v unless_o our_o lord_n permit_v he_o what_o then_o may_v be_v the_o ground_n of_o all_o these_o disorder_n it_o be_v certain_o that_o i_o be_o more_o afraid_a of_o they_o who_o be_v so_o fright_v by_o the_o devil_n then_o of_o the_o devil_n himself_o for_o he_o be_v utter_o unable_a to_o do_v i_o hurt_v whereas_o these_o other_o especial_o if_o they_o be_v ghostly_a father_n may_v put_v soul_n to_o much_o disquiet_n and_o for_o my_o part_n i_o have_v pass_v some_o year_n through_o so_o great_a trouble_n that_o now_o i_o be_o even_o amaze_v to_o consider_v how_o i_o have_v be_v able_a to_o endure_v it_o but_o bless_v be_v our_o lord_n who_o have_v assist_v i_o in_o so_o good_a earnest_n amen_n the_o six_o and_o twenty_o chapter_n she_o prosecute_v the_o same_o discourse_n and_o go_v relate_v and_o declare_v such_o thing_n as_o happen_v to_o she_o which_o make_v her_o loose_a fear_n and_o to_o be_v strengthen_v in_o a_o beleif_n that_o it_o be_v a_o good_a spirit_n which_o speak_v to_o she_o i_o esteem_v the_o courage_n which_o our_o lord_n have_v vouchsafe_v to_o give_v i_o against_o all_o the_o devil_n of_o hell_n to_o be_v one_o of_o the_o great_a favour_n which_o it_o have_v please_v his_o divine_a majesty_n to_o do_v i_o since_o for_o a_o soul_n to_o go_v cowardly_o on_o and_o to_o be_v fearful_a indeed_o of_o any_o thing_n but_o only_o to_o offend_v the_o majesty_n of_o almighty_a god_n be_v a_o extreme_a inconvenience_n for_o since_o we_o have_v a_o king_n who_o be_v omnipotent_a and_o so_o great_a a_o lord_n that_o he_o can_v do_v what_o he_o list_n and_o who_o bring_v all_o thing_n into_o subjection_n under_o himself_o there_o be_v no_o fear_n at_o all_o to_o be_v have_v and_o therefore_o as_o i_o be_v say_v we_o have_v no_o cause_n to_o doubt_v so_o that_o we_o walk_v sincere_o and_o with_o purity_n of_o conscience_n in_o the_o presence_n of_o his_o divine_a majesty_n and_o in_o order_n to_o this_o end_n i_o shall_v be_v glad_a to_o have_v all_o the_o fear_n in_o the_o world_n to_o offend_v he_o in_o any_o one_o instant_n of_o my_o whole_a life_n who_o be_v able_a in_o the_o very_a selfsame_a instant_n to_o destroy_v and_o annihilate_v we_o all_o as_o long_o as_o his_o divine_a majesty_n be_v please_v with_o we_o there_o be_v no_o creature_n who_o can_v stand_v against_o we_o without_o have_v his_o head_n break_v for_o his_o pain_n you_o will_v peradventure_o say_v that_o this_o be_v very_o true_a but_o yet_o now_o on_o the_o other_o side_n where_o shall_v we_o find_v that_o soul_n which_o stand_v so_o straight_o as_o that_o she_o may_v be_v whole_o please_v to_o he_o and_o because_o she_o be_v not_o so_o she_o be_v in_o fear_n i_o answer_v that_o i_o be_o sure_a that_o that_o pure_a and_o innocent_a soul_n be_v none_o of_o i_o which_o indeed_o be_v very_o wretched_a and_o unprofitable_a and_o surcharge_v even_o with_o a_o thousand_o misery_n but_o yet_o still_o we_o have_v this_o comfort_n that_o almighty_a god_n do_v not_o proceed_v with_o such_o rigour_n as_o man_n do_v for_o he_o know_v and_o consider_v our_o frailty_n and_o the_o soul_n have_v way_n of_o understanding_n and_o find_v in_o itself_o by_o great_a conjecture_n whether_o real_o she_o love_v his_o divine_a majesty_n or_o no_o for_o in_o such_o as_o arrive_v once_o to_o this_o state_n our_o love_n to_o he_o be_v not_o now_o a_o kind_n of_o dissemble_a or_o disguise_v love_n as_o it_o use_v sometime_o to_o be_v in_o the_o beginning_n but_o it_o be_v accompany_v with_o so_o great_a impulse_n and_o even_o impetuosity_n of_o desire_n to_o see_v almighty_a god_n as_o i_o shall_v afterward_o declare_v or_o rather_o as_o i_o have_v declare_v already_o and_o all_o thing_n be_v wont_a to_o afflict_v all_o thing_n to_o weary_a &_o tire_v and_o all_o thing_n do_v even_o torment_v she_o unless_o it_o be_v only_a god_n or_o for_o god_n there_o be_v not_o so_o much_o as_o any_o repose_n which_o do_v not_o displease_v she_o because_o she_o find_v herself_o absent_a from_o her_o true_a repose_n and_o so_o it_o falls-out_a to_o be_v very_o evident_a that_o thing_n pass_v not_o here_o in_o a_o dissemble_a way_n it_o have_v happen_v to_o i_o in_o former_a time_n that_o i_o find_v myself_o in_o great_a tribulation_n and_o i_o be_v subject_a to_o many_o detraction_n by_o occasion_n of_o a_o certain_a business_n whereof_o i_o may_v have_v cause_n to_o speak_v afterward_o from_o all_o that_o house_n where_o i_o live_v yea_o and_o from_o my_o order_n and_o i_o be_v afflict_v upon_o many_o accident_n which_o occur_v then_o at_o which_o time_n it_o please_v our_o lord_n to_o utter_v these_o express_a word_n to_o i_o of_o what_o be_v thou_o afraid_a do_v thou_o not_o know_v that_o i_o be_o omnipotent_a i_o will_v accomplish_v all_o that_o which_o i_o have_v promise_v thou_o and_o indeed_o he_o accomplish_v it_o afterward_o very_o well_o but_o even_o instant_o there_o remain_v such_o a_o kind_n of_o strength_n in_o i_o that_o i_o think_v i_o can_v present_o have_v put_v myself_o to_o adventure_v upon_o other_o thing_n though_o they_o shall_v cost_v i_o much_o more_o trouble_n for_o the_o do_v he_o service_n and_o can_v have_v suffer_v also_o much_o more_o for_o he_o and_o this_o very_a self_n same_o thing_n have_v happen_v to_o i_o so_o often_o that_o i_o be_o not_o able_a to_o count_v the_o time_n and_o he_o have_v make_v i_o and_o make_v i_o still_o such_o reprehension_n by_o occasion_n of_o those_o imperfection_n which_o i_o commit_v sometime_o that_o they_o be_v able_a even_o as_o it_o be_v to_o annihilate_v the_o soul_n at_o least_o they_o bring_v so_o much_o in_o their_o company_n as_o that_o she_o be_v mend_v by_o they_o for_o his_o divine_a majesty_n as_o i_o have_v say_v do_v not_o only_o give_v we_o the_o counsel_n but_o the_o remedy_n at_o other_o time_n he_o bring_v back_o to_o i_o the_o memory_n of_o the_o sin_n of_o my_o former_a life_n and_o this_o he_o most_o ordinary_o use_v to_o do_v whensoever_o he_o intend_v to_o vouchsafe_v i_o any_o extraordinary_a favour_n and_o he_o do_v it_o in_o such_o sort_n that_o the_o soul_n discern_v herself_o as_o if_o she_o be_v real_o plant_v at_o the_o very_a day_n of_o the_o last_o universal_a judgement_n and_o the_o truth_n be_v represent_v to_o she_o with_o such_o a_o kind_n of_o perspicuity_n and_o claritie_n that_o she_o know_v not_o what_o to_o do_v with_o herself_o at_o other_o time_n he_o be_v please_v to_o inform_v i_o of_o certain_a danger_n concern_v both_o myself_o and_o other_o about_o thing_n which_o do_v not_o happen_v till_o three_o or_o four_o year_n after_o but_o they_o all_o be_v ever_o fulfil_v and_o some_o of_o they_o may_v also_o be_v name_v if_o there_o be_v cause_n so_o that_o there_o be_v so_o many_o particular_n whereby_o it_o may_v be_v understand_v that_o these_o thing_n be_v of_o almighty_a god_n as_o that_o in_o my_o opinion_n they_o can_v but_o be_v know_v and_o acknowledge_v the_o most_o secure_a proceed_n consist_v in_o that_o such_o a_o person_n do_v not_o fail_v to_o impart_v her_o whole_a soul_n to_o her_o ghostly_a father_n and_o that_o he_o be_v a_o learned_a man_n and_o that_o she_o do_v entire_o obey_v he_o at_o least_o this_o be_v the_o course_n which_o i_o take_v and_o without_o this_o i_o can_v have_v no_o rest_n nor_o be_v it_o indeed_o fit_a that_o we_o woman_n shall_v have_v any_o since_o we_o have_v no_o learning_n and_o there_o can_v be_v no_o hurt_n at_o all_o in_o this_o but_o many_o advantage_n and_o benefit_n as_o our_o lord_n himself_o have_v tell_v i_o many_o time_n i_o say_v many_o time_n i_o have_v once_o a_o ghostly_a father_n who_o mortify_v i_o very_o much_o and_o sometime_o he_o do_v even_o afflict_v i_o and_o bring_v i_o a_o great_a deal_n of_o trouble_n and_o disquiet_v i_o in_o extraordinary_a manner_n and_o yet_o it_o be_v he_o who_o in_o my_o opinion_n do_v i_o the_o most_o good_a of_o they_o all_o and_o though_o i_o love_v he_o very_o much_o yet_o i_o have_v some_o temptation_n to_o leave_v he_o for_o it_o seem_v to_o i_o that_o i_o be_v much_o prejudice_v by_o those_o inconvenience_n which_o he_o be_v wont_a to_o give_v i_o concern_v my_o prayer_n but_o yet_o ever_o when_o i_o be_v determine_v to_o do_v this_o i_o instant_o understand_v that_o i_o be_v to_o forbear_v it_o and_o i_o receive_v such_o a_o reprehension_n from_o our_o lord_n as_o defeat_v and_o as_o it_o be_v annihilate_v i_o more_o than_o all_o that_o which_o my_o ghostly_a father_n can_v
lord_n through_o his_o goodness_n make_v i_o see_v it_o and_o show_v it_o i_o in_o a_o certain_a rapt_v of_o i_o so_o also_o shall_v it_o be_v here_o in_o this_o world_n and_o that_o so_o almighty_a god_n and_o the_o soul_n may_v be_v able_a to_o understand_v one_o another_o and_o that_o upon_o this_o sole_a cause_n and_o reason_n in_o regard_n that_o his_o divine_a majesty_n be_v please_v that_o they_o shall_v do_v so_o without_o any_o other_o artifice_n or_o mean_n that_o so_o the_o mutual_a love_n which_o these_o two_o dear_a friend_n carry_v to_o one_o another_o may_v be_v give_v by_o they_o to_o be_v mutual_o understand_v just_o so_o as_o in_o this_o world_n when_o two_o person_n love_v one_o another_o very_o dear_o and_o be_v endue_v with_o a_o good_a understanding_n and_o wit_n they_o seem_v able_a to_o understand_v themselves_o together_o even_o without_o so_o much_o as_o sign_n and_o by_o only_a look_v well_o upon_o one_o another_o thus_o ought_v it_o to_o be_v in_o our_o case_n since_o without_o our_o know_v express_o how_o these_o two_o lover_n look_v earnest_o upon_o one_o another_o in_o the_o face_n as_o the_o spouse_n say_v to_o his_o belove_a in_o the_o canticle_n for_o so_o i_o think_v i_o have_v hear_v that_o it_o be_v express_v there_o o_o admirable_a benignity_n of_o thou_o o_o lord_n who_o permit_v thyself_o to_o be_v look_v upon_o by_o those_o eye_n which_o have_v abuse_v their_o sight_n so_o much_o as_o these_o of_o my_o soul_n have_v do_v at_o least_o o_o my_o dear_a lord_n let_v they_o now_o be_v accustom_v after_o this_o sight_n of_o thou_o to_o look_v no_o more_o upon_o any_o inferior_a and_o base_a object_n nor_o let_v any_o thing_n be_v able_a to_o please_v they_o out_o of_o thou_o o_o great_a ingratitude_n of_o mortal_a creature_n how_o far_o will_v thou_o be_v able_a to_o ative_a for_o now_o i_o know_v even_o by_o experience_n that_o this_o be_v literal_o true_a which_o i_o be_o say_v that_o whatsoever_o be_v possible_o able_a to_o be_v express_v by_o i_o be_v no_o more_o than_o the_o very_a lest_o part_n of_o that_o favour_n which_o thou_o imparte_v to_o any_o such_o soul_n as_o thou_o vouchsafe_v to_o bring_v to_o such_o a_o state_n as_o this_o o_o soul_n which_o have_v begin_v to_o use_v prayer_n and_o you_o who_o have_v real_o faith_n and_o firm_a beleif_n what_o blessing_n and_o benefit_n be_v you_o possible_o able_a to_o seek_v and_o get_v which_o may_v any_o way_n be_v compare_v even_o to_o the_o least_o of_o those_o which_o be_v obtain_v by_o the_o servant_n of_o almighty_a god_n even_o in_o this_o mortal_a life_n of_o we_o and_o consider_v for_o it_o be_v most_o certain_o true_a that_o almighty_a god_n impart_v himself_o thus_o even_o here_o to_o such_o well_o as_o forsake_v all_o thing_n for_o love_n of_o he_o for_o he_o be_v no_o accepter_n of_o person_n and_o he_o love_v all_o man_n nor_o have_v any_o one_o of_o they_o any_o excuse_n how_o wicked_a soever_o he_o may_v have_v be_v since_o our_o lord_n have_v proceed_v after_o this_o manner_n even_o with_o i_o and_o advance_v i_o to_o such_o a_o condition_n as_o you_o see_v consider_v also_o that_o this_o which_o i_o be_o say_v now_o be_v not_o so_o much_o as_o a_o little_a cipher_n of_o that_o which_o be_v to_o be_v say_v but_o only_o so_o much_o be_v here_o deliver_v as_o be_v necessary_a for_o the_o give_v this_o manner_n of_o vision_n and_o favour_n which_o almighty_a god_n be_v please_v to_o do_v to_o a_o soul_n to_o be_v in_o some_o sort_n understand_v but_o now_o it_o be_v in_o no_o power_n of_o i_o to_o declare_v that_o which_o she_o find_v and_o feel_v when_o our_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o impart_v those_o secret_n and_o greatness_n of_o he_o together_o with_o that_o delight_n which_o be_v so_o high_o superior_a to_o all_o those_o other_o which_o can_v possible_o be_v impart_v by_o this_o world_n and_o that_o they_o do_v with_o a_o mighty_a deal_n of_o reason_n make_v they_o who_o possess_v the_o same_o even_o abhor_v all_o the_o pleasure_n of_o the_o earth_n which_o when_o they_o be_v all_o clap_v together_o be_v no_o better_o then_o mere_a dung_n and_o dirt_n nay_o it_o be_v after_o a_o sort_n even_o to_o give_v one_o a_o vomit_n to_o bring_v these_o into_o any_o comparison_n at_o all_o with_o those_o other_o even_o though_o they_o shall_v be_v able_a to_o last_v for_o ever_o and_o yet_o of_o these_o celestial_a joy_n what_o kind_n of_o poor_a proportion_n of_o they_o be_v that_o which_o he_o be_v please_v to_o impart_v in_o this_o world_n no_o more_o then_o as_o it_o be_v one_o slight_a single_a drop_n of_o water_n of_o that_o huge_a full_a flow_a river_n which_o be_v prepare_v for_o we_o in_o heaven_n it_o be_v a_o very_a shame_n &_o scorn_n and_o real_o i_o employ_v it_o all_o against_o myself_o and_o if_o it_o be_v possible_a for_o soul_n to_o be_v affront_v even_o in_o heaven_n i_o shall_v have_v cause_n to_o find_v myself_o ashamed_a when_o i_o be_v there_o more_o than_o any_o creature_n to_o think_v that_o we_o shall_v expect_v to_o enjoy_v protestant_n so_o great_a benediction_n and_o delight_n and_o glory_n as_o be_v to_o be_v infinite_a in_o that_o next_o life_n and_o all_o at_o the_o only_o cost_v of_o our_o dear_a lord_n jesus_n and_o shall_v we_o not_o weep_v perhaps_o at_o least_o with_o the_o daughter_n of_o jerusalem_n since_o we_o will_v hot_a help_v he_o to_o carry_v the_o cross_n as_o simon_n cyreneus_n do_v or_o can_v we_o ever_o think_v of_o come_v to_o enjoy_v that_o by_o the_o way_n and_o mean_n of_o pleasure_n and_o pass-time_n which_o he_o vouchsafe_v to_o get_v and_o gain_v for_o we_o upon_o the_o price_n of_o his_o own_o most_o precious_a blood_n this_o be_v absolute_o impossible_a and_o can_v we_o think_v by_o our_o aspire_n to_o vain_a honour_n that_o we_o may_v be_v able_a to_o remedy_n and_o redress_v that_o huge_a contempt_n and_o scorn_v which_o he_o endure_v for_o we_o there_o be_v no_o manner_n of_o sense_n in_o any_o such_o conceit_n no_o no_o the_o course_n be_v utter_o mistake_v and_o we_o shall_v never_o be_v able_a to_o arrive_v at_o that_o journey_n end_n by_o any_o such_o erroneous_a way_n as_o this_o your_o reverence_n must_v cry-out_a aloud_o to_o make_v these_o truth_n be_v hear_v and_o believe_v by_o the_o world_n and_o since_o it_o have_v please_v almighty_a god_n to_o take_v this_o power_n and_o liberty_n from_o i_o i_o will_v always_o be_v cry_v they_o out_o to_o myself_o but_o both_o he_o hear_v i_o and_o i_o come_v also_o to_o understand_v he_o so_o very_o late_o as_o may_v be_v see_v by_o what_o i_o have_v write_v here_o and_o it_o be_v no_o less_o than_o matter_n of_o extreme_a confusion_n to_o i_o to_o speak_v of_o it_o and_o therefore_o i_o will_v now_o hold_v my_o peace_n and_o for_o the_o present_a will_v only_o say_v that_o which_o i_o have_v be_v consider_v sometime_o which_o be_v that_o i_o humble_o beseech_v almighty_a god_n to_o bring_v i_o once_o to_o such_o term_n as_o that_o i_o may_v enjoy_v this_o immense_a good_n o_o what_o a_o accidental_a glory_n and_o gust_n will_v it_o be_v for_o the_o bless_a saint_n of_o heaven_n who_o enjoy_v this_o felicity_n when_o they_o shall_v find_v that_o although_o it_o be_v late_o yet_o at_o length_n they_o leave_v nothing_o unperformed_a which_o it_o be_v possible_a for_o they_o to_o do_v for_o the_o love_n of_o almighty_a god_n nor_o do_v they_o fail_v to_o present_v he_o with_o the_o very_a uttermost_a of_o whatsoever_o they_o can_v offer_v in_o all_o kind_n according_a to_o the_o power_n which_o they_o have_v and_o to_o the_o condition_n wherein_o they_o be_v place_v he_o give_v they_o still_o more_o who_o have_v more_o how_o rich_a will_v he_o then_o find_v himself_o to_o be_v who_o leave_v all_o the_o riches_n he_o have_v for_o christ_n our_o lord_n how_o full_a of_o honour_n who_o reject_v all_o honour_n and_o take_v no_o pleasure_n in_o any_o other_o thing_n then_o to_o find_v himself_o abase_v and_o despise_v for_o the_o love_n of_o he_o how_o wise_a will_v he_o see_v himself_o then_o who_o rejoice_v to_o see_v the_o world_n hold_v he_o for_o a_o fool_n since_o they_o call_v wisdom_n itself_o by_o that_o name_n but_o how_o few_o of_o such_o as_o these_o be_v there_o now_o in_o the_o world_n by_o reason_n of_o our_o great_a sin_n alas_o it_o seem_v that_o all_o they_o be_v spend_v and_o go_v long_o ago_o who_o the_o world_n be_v wont_n to_o eastern_a for_o mad_a fool_n when_o they_o see_v they_o perform_v those_o heroical_a act_n of_o true_a lover_n of_o christ_n our_o lord_n o_o world_n o_o world_n how_o do_v thou_o go_v gain_v honour_n
be_v subject_a to_o much_o trouble_n with_o i_o in_o several_a kind_n and_o afterward_o i_o come_v to_o know_v that_o they_o wish_v he_o to_o take_v heed_n of_o i_o and_o to_o be_v careful_a lest_o the_o devil_n shall_v deceive_v he_o by_o make_v he_o believe_v any_o part_n of_o that_o which_o i_o shall_v tell_v he_o and_o to_o this_o purpose_n they_o will_v be_v allege_v the_o example_n of_o some_o other_o to_o he_o all_o this_o give_v i_o vexation_n enough_o and_o by_o degree_n i_o come_v so_o far_o as_o to_o fear_v that_o i_o shall_v grow_v scarce_o able_a to_o find_v any_o body_n who_o will_v hear_v my_o confession_n but_o that_o every_o one_o will_v be_v fly_v from_o i_o in_o this_o kind_n so_o that_o for_o my_o part_n i_o do_v nothing_o but_o weep_v and_o it_o be_v the_o providence_n of_o almighty_a god_n that_o this_o father_n will_v yet_o still_o continue_v to_o hear_v i_o but_o indeed_o he_o be_v so_o great_a a_o servant_n of_o our_o lord_n that_o there_o be_v nothing_o which_o he_o will_v or_o suffer_v or_o his_o sake_n and_o so_o he_o will_v still_o be_v advise_v i_o to_o be_v sure_a not_o to_o offend_v almighty_a god_n nor_o to_o swerve_v from_o the_o direction_n which_o he_o give_v i_o and_o that_o i_o shall_v not_o fear_v that_o he_o will_v fail_v i_o and_o still_o he_o will_v also_o be_v animate_v and_o quiet_v i_o and_o ever_o he_o will_v in_o particular_a command_v i_o that_o i_o shall_v conceal_v nothing_o from_o he_o which_o i_o always_o observe_v and_o i_o do_v thus_o he_o will_v always_o tell_v i_o that_o the_o devil_n will_v be_v able_a to_o do_v i_o no_o hurt_n but_o rather_o that_o our_o bless_a lord_n will_v not_o fail_v to_o draw_v good_a out_o of_o that_o ill_a which_o the_o devil_n will_v be_v attempt_v to_o do_v my_o soul_n this_o soul_n of_o i_o do_v i_o procure_v to_o perfect_v to_o the_o uttermost_a of_o my_o power_n and_o as_o for_o my_o ghostly_a father_n i_o do_v through_o the_o fear_n of_o illusion_n wherein_o i_o be_v obey_v he_o in_o all_o thing_n though_o yet_o but_o after_o a_o imperfect_a manner_n but_o he_o have_v trouble_n enough_o with_o i_o when_o i_o confess_v myself_o to_o he_o in_o these_o difficult_a time_n which_o last_v above_o the_o space_n of_o three_o whole_a year_n for_o in_o the_o great_a persecution_n which_o i_o have_v and_o in_o many_o thing_n wherein_o our_o lord_n permit_v that_o the_o world_n shall_v make_v ill_a judgement_n of_o i_o and_o many_o of_o they_o without_o any_o fault_n of_o i_o i_o will_v ever_o be_v come_v with_o they_o to_o he_o and_o he_o be_v blame_v in_o respect_n of_o i_o whereas_o yet_o he_o be_v in_o no_o fault_n at_o all_o i_o think_v it_o will_v have_v be_v whole_o impossible_a that_o he_o shall_v have_v endure_v it_o so_o long_o if_o he_o have_v not_o be_v a_o man_n of_o much_o sanctity_n but_o our_o lord_n do_v animate_v he_o great_o and_o enable_v he_o to_o endure_v so_o very_a much_o for_o he_o be_v still_o to_o make_v answer_n to_o all_o they_o who_o hold_v i_o to_o be_v a_o lose_a soul_n but_o they_o believe_v he_o not_o and_o on_o the_o other_o side_n he_o be_v also_o to_o take_v care_n to_o quiet_v i_o and_o to_o recover_v i_o out_o of_o that_o fear_n wherein_o i_o be_v by_o fright_v i_o with_o a_o great_a and_o beside_o he_o be_v also_o to_o endeavour_v to_o satisfy_v i_o in_o another_o respect_n in_o regard_n that_o upon_o every_o vision_n which_o be_v new_a to_o i_o our_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o permit_v that_o afterward_o i_o shall_v be_v subject_a to_o very_o great_a fear_n now_o as_o all_o this_o proceed_v both_o from_o my_o be_v and_o have_v be_v a_o very_a great_a sinner_n so_o yet_o will_v he_o comfort_v i_o still_o with_o much_o piety_n and_o compassion_n but_o yet_o still_o if_o he_o have_v confide_v as_o much_o in_o himself_o as_o he_o may_v well_o have_v do_v i_o have_v not_o suffer_v so_o much_o for_o our_o lord_n give_v he_o to_o understand_v the_o truth_n in_o all_o thing_n and_o i_o be_o persuade_v that_o the_o very_a sacrament_n of_o penance_n which_o i_o frequent_v with_o he_o give_v he_o light_n those_o other_o servant_n of_o almighty_a god_n who_o can_v not_o make_v themselves_o sure_a of_o my_o well-doing_n be_v wont_a to_o be_v very_o conversant_a with_o i_o and_o when_o i_o will_v casual_o be_v speak_v now_o and_o then_o of_o some_o thing_n they_o will_v be_v understand_v they_o after_o a_o different_a manner_n now_o man_n there_o be_v one_o of_o these_o who_o i_o particular_o love_v for_o my_o soul_n be_v infinite_o oblige_v to_o he_o and_o he_o be_v a_o very_a holy_a man_n for_o my_o part_n i_o be_v extreme_o trouble_v to_o see_v that_o i_o can_v not_o make_v myself_o be_v understand_v right_o by_o he_o whilst_o he_o also_o on_o the_o other_o side_n do_v extraordinary_o desire_v my_o good_a and_o that_o our_o lord_n may_v once_o vouchsafe_v to_o give_v i_o light_n and_o so_o when_o i_o will_v be_v relate_v some_o thing_n to_o they_o without_o much_o reflection_n upon_o what_o i_o say_v it_o will_v seem_v to_o they_o to_o be_v a_o sign_n of_o little_a humility_n in_o i_o and_o as_o soon_o as_o afterward_o they_o discern_v i_o to_o commit_v any_o one_o single_a fault_n whereas_o they_o may_v very_o easy_o have_v discern_v many_o all_o grow_v instant_o to_o be_v condemn_v by_o they_o sometime_o they_o will_v be_v ask_v i_o certain_a question_n and_o i_o will_v answer_v they_o with_o plainness_n and_o without_o much_o reservation_n yea_o or_o even_o reflection_n and_o then_o forsooth_o they_o will_v be_v think_v that_o i_o have_v a_o mind_n to_o teach_v they_o and_o that_o i_o hold_v myself_o for_o some_o shrewd_a woman_n and_o upon_o this_o will_v they_o all_o go_v instant_o to_o my_o ghostly_a father_n for_o certain_o they_o desire_v my_o good_a but_o yet_o then_o will_v he_o grow_v to_o chide_v i_o and_o this_o last_v a_o long_a time_n i_o be_v afflict_v many_o way_n on_o the_o one_o side_n and_o yet_o be_v on_o the_o other_o so_o visit_v by_o the_o favour_n of_o out_o bless_a lord_n as_o i_o find_v myself_o to_o be_v i_o be_v indeed_o very_o well_o able_a to_o endure_v that_o other_o misery_n and_o now_o i_o relate_v all_o this_o to_o the_o end_n that_o it_o may_v the_o better_o be_v understand_v how_o very_o great_a a_o trouble_n it_o be_v not_o to_o have_v some_o such_o person_n at_o hand_n as_o have_v experience_n in_o the_o way_n of_o spirit_n so_o that_o real_o if_o our_o bless_a lord_n have_v not_o favour_v i_o in_o such_o sort_n as_o he_o do_v i_o know_v not_o what_o will_v have_v become_v of_o i_o at_o length_n since_o there_o be_v occasion_n enough_o to_o have_v put_v i_o even_o out_o of_o my_o wit_n and_o sometime_o i_o see_v myself_o in_o such_o term_n that_o i_o know_v not_o what_o to_o do_v but_o only_o to_o lift-up_a my_o eye_n to_o our_o lord_n for_o as_o the_o contradiction_n and_o opposition_n of_o such_o as_o be_v good_a and_o worthy_a man_n towards_o a_o poor_a weak_a and_o wicked_a woman_n like_o myself_o and_o so_o timorous_a as_o i_o also_o be_v may_v perhaps_o seem_v to_o be_v scarce_o worth_a the_o relate_n so_o yet_o i_o have_v pass_v through_o very_a many_o and_o great_a trouble_n in_o this_o life_n of_o i_o i_o have_v find_v this_o last_o to_o have_v be_v of_o the_o great_a i_o humble_o beseech_v our_o bless_a lord_n that_o i_o may_v have_v be_v able_a to_o do_v his_o divine_a majesty_n some_o little_a service_n even_o in_o this_o for_o that_o they_o who_o accuse_v and_o condemn_v i_o do_v he_o service_n in_o it_o i_o be_o very_o sure_a and_o that_o it_o all_o have_v turn_v to_o my_o good_a the_o nine_o and_o twenty_o chapter_n she_o prosecute_v the_o discourse_n which_o she_o have_v begin_v and_o relate_v some_o high_a favour_n which_o our_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o do_v she_o and_o what_o his_o divine_a majesty_n do_v further_a for_o the_o secure_n and_o encourage_v her_o mind_n and_o for_o the_o enable_v she_o to_o answer_n her_o contradictour_n i_o have_v swerve_v very_o much_o from_o my_o purpose_n for_o i_o pretend_v to_o declare_v the_o reasson_n whereby_o to_o prove_v that_o the_o thing_n whereof_o i_o speak_v be_v not_o matter_n of_o imagination_n for_o how_o shall_v we_o be_v able_a by_o mean_n of_o any_o endeavour_n or_o study_v of_o we_o to_o represent_v the_o humanity_n of_o christ_n our_o lord_n to_o ourselves_o and_o to_o go_v order_v and_o dispose_v of_o his_o great_a beauty_n for_o which_o there_o will_v be_v need_n of_o a_o large_a time_n if_o we_o will_v pretend_v to_o frame_v any_o thing_n which_o
away_o as_o much_o as_o it_o have_v touch_v within_o i_o and_o leave_v all_o that_o which_o remain_v whole_o inflame_v with_o a_o great_a love_n of_o almighty_a god_n the_o pain_n of_o it_o be_v so_o excessive_a that_o it_o force_v i_o to_o utter_v those_o groan_n and_o the_o suavitie_n which_o that_o extremity_n of_o pain_n give_v be_v also_o so_o very_o excessive_a that_o there_o be_v no_o desire_v at_o all_o to_o be_v ride_v of_o it_o nor_o can_v the_o soul_n then_o receive_v any_o contentment_n at_o all_o in_o less_o than_o god_n almighty_a himself_o this_o be_v no_o corporal_n but_o a_o spiritual_a pain_n though_o yet_o the_o body_n do_v not_o fail_v to_o participate_v some_o part_n thereof_o yea_o and_o that_o not_o a_o little_a and_o it_o be_v such_o a_o dear_a delightful_a kind_n of_o intercourse_n which_o pass_v here_o between_o the_o soul_n and_o almighty_a god_n as_o i_o beseech_v he_o of_o his_o infinite_a goodness_n that_o he_o will_v give_v some_o touch_n or_o taste_v of_o it_o to_o whosoever_o shall_v believe_v that_o i_o lie_v during_o the_o time_n when_o i_o be_v in_o this_o state_n i_o go_v up_o and_o down_o that_o world_n like_o a_o odd_a kind_n of_o transport_a fool_n neither_o care_v i_o either_o to_o see_v any_o thing_n or_o to_o speak_v but_o content_v myself_o to_o consume_v with_o burning-up_a in_o my_o pain_n which_o be_v to_o be_v the_o great_a glory_n for_o i_o that_o this_o whole_a world_n can_v afford_v in_o this_o state_n be_v i_o now_o and_o then_o when_o our_o bless_a lord_n be_v please_v that_o these_o so_o very_o great_a rapt_n shall_v come_v upon_o i_o which_o i_o be_v not_o able_a sometime_o to_o resist_v even_o when_o i_o be_v in_o presence_n of_o secular_a people_n and_o so_o they_o grow_v to_o be_v public_a and_o this_o give_v i_o a_o very_a great_a deal_n of_o trouble_n but_o since_o the_o time_n that_o i_o be_o grow_v to_o have_v these_o rapt_n i_o feel_v not_o this_o pain_n so_o much_o as_o that_o other_o whereof_o i_o speak_v before_o though_o yet_o i_o can_v call_v the_o chapter_n to_o mind_n but_o that_o pain_n be_v different_a in_o many_o kind_n and_o of_o more_o value_n also_o than_o this_o or_o rather_o when_o this_o begin_v whereof_o i_o be_o speak_v in_o this_o place_n it_o seem_v that_o our_o lord_n do_v ravish_v and_o run_v away_o as_o it_o be_v with_o the_o soul_n and_o put_v she_o into_o extasis_fw-la out_o of_o hand_n and_o so_o no_o too_o i_o be_v leave_v for_o the_o let_v she_o feel_v any_o pain_n because_o instant_o the_o time_n of_o enjoy_v come_v in_o let_v he_o be_v bless_v for_o ever_o who_o vouchsafe_v to_o impart_v so_o high_a favour_n to_o a_o person_n who_o correspond_v with_o he_o so_o ill_o for_o so_o great_a benefit_n the_o thirty_o chapter_n she_o return_v to_o recount_v the_o course_n of_o her_o life_n and_o how_o our_o lord_n give_v remedy_n to_o many_o of_o her_o trouble_n by_o bring_v that_o holy_a man_n fray_n pedro_n de_fw-fr alcantara_n of_o the_o order_n of_o the_o glorious_a s._n francis_n to_o the_o place_n where_o she_o be_v and_o she_o declare_v the_o great_a temptation_n and_o inward_a trouble_n which_o sometime_o she_o endure_v but_o now_o when_o i_o come_v to_o observe_v the_o little_a or_o nothing_o which_o i_o be_v able_a to_o effect_v towards_o the_o endure_a of_o those_o so_o great_a impulse_n or_o impetuosity_n whereof_o i_o be_v speak_v i_o grow_v to_o be_v in_o great_a fear_n of_o have_v they_o for_o it_o be_v pass_v any_o power_n of_o i_o to_o understand_v how_o pain_n and_o joy_n may_v be_v possible_o able_a to_o consist_v together_o that_o corporal_a pain_n and_o spiritual_a joy_n can_v be_v compatible_a i_o know_v well_o may_v be_v possible_a enough_o but_o that_o so_o excessive_a a_o spiritual_a pain_n shall_v be_v compatible_a with_o so_o excessive_a a_o spiritual_a gust_n do_v put_v i_o half_o as_o it_o be_v out_o of_o my_o wit_n and_o still_o i_o do_v not_o give-ove_a to_o procure_v to_o resist_v the_o arrival_n thereof_o though_o yet_o i_o have_v so_o little_a power_n that_o way_n that_o sometime_o i_o grow_v weary_a even_o of_o the_o endeavour_n i_o defend_v myself_o by_o the_o cross_n and_o so_o procure_v to_o help_v myself_o by_o that_o mean_n from_o he_o who_o give_v we_o all_o defence_n and_o succour_n by_o the_o same_o cross_n i_o see_v that_o no_o creature_n understand_v i_o and_o this_o i_o understand_v very_o clear_o though_o yet_o i_o dare_v not_o say_v so_o to_o any_o body_n but_o my_o ghostly_a father_n for_o that_o indeed_o may_v have_v authorise_v they_o to_o say_v true_o that_o i_o want_v humility_n but_o our_o bless_a lord_n be_v please_v to_o recover_v i_o from_o a_o great_a part_n of_o my_o trouble_n yea_o and_o even_o at_o that_o time_n from_o it_o all_o by_o bring_v that_o bless_a man_n fray_n pedro_n de_fw-fr alcantara_n thither_o of_o who_o i_o make_v mention_v before_o when_o i_o speak_v somewhat_o of_o his_o great_a penance_n and_o now_o i_o also_o remember_v that_o among_o other_o thing_n i_o have_v be_v inform_v that_o for_o twenty_o year_n together_o he_o have_v wear_v upon_o his_o bare_a body_n a_o certain_a garment_n of_o latin_a in_o form_n of_o a_o hair_n cloth_n this_o man_n be_v the_o author_n of_o certain_a little_a treatise_n concern_v prayer_n write_v in_o spanish_a and_o they_o be_v now_o in_o the_o hand_n of_o many_o for_o he_o as_o be_v a_o person_n who_o have_v accustom_v himself_o much_o to_o that_o holy_a exercise_n write_v very_o profitable_o thereof_o for_o they_o who_o live_v in_o the_o observance_n of_o the_o first_o rule_n of_o the_o bless_a s._n francis_n according_a to_o the_o full_a rigour_n of_o the_o same_o when_o therefore_o a_o certain_a widow_n of_o who_o i_o speak_v else_o where_o who_o be_v a_o great_a servant_n of_o almighty_a god_n and_o a_o particular_a friend_n of_o i_o come_v to_o know_v that_o so_o great_a a_o man_n be_v there_o with_o i_o and_o know_v also_o the_o great_a necessity_n wherein_o i_o be_v as_o have_v be_v the_o witness_n of_o my_o affliction_n and_o have_v comfort_v i_o in_o several_a occasion_n for_o her_o faith_n be_v ever_o so_o great_a that_o she_o can_v never_o in_o fine_a believe_v but_o that_o it_o be_v the_o spirit_n of_o almighty_a god_n which_o all_o the_o rest_n will_v needs_o have_v to_o be_v the_o devil_n and_o consider_v also_o that_o she_o be_v a_o person_n of_o very_a good_a understanding_n and_o of_o great_a secrecy_n withal_o and_o one_o to_o who_o our_o lord_n vouchsafe_v to_o do_v great_a favour_n in_o prayer_n his_o divine_a majesty_n be_v please_v to_o give_v her_o knowledge_n of_o those_o thing_n whereof_o they_o who_o be_v learned_a be_v whole_o ignorant_a my_o ghostly_a father_n than_o give_v i_o leave_v that_o i_o may_v ease_v myself_o in_o some_o thing_n with_o she_o for_o she_o be_v capable_a many_o way_n to_o understand_v they_o for_o sometime_o it_o have_v come_v to_o her_o turn_n to_o enjoy_v even_o some_o of_o those_o very_a favour_n which_o our_o lord_n have_v also_o vouchsafe_v to_o afford_v i_o together_o with_o certain_a advertisment_n which_o he_o have_v also_o give_v she_o for_o the_o good_a of_o her_o soul_n but_o now_o as_o soon_o as_o fray_n pedro_n come_v to_o know_v of_o my_o design_n he_o do_v without_o say_v any_o thing_n to_o i_o desire_v and_o get_v leave_v of_o my_o provincial_n that_o i_o may_v remain_v with_o she_o in_o her_o house_n for_o a_o matter_n of_o some_o eight_o day_n and_o so_o both_o there_o and_o in_o several_a church_n i_o speak_v with_o he_o diverse_a time_n in_o that_o first_o occasion_n of_o my_o be_v there_o for_o i_o communicate_v my_o affair_n with_o he_o also_o afterward_o in_o sundry_a occasion_n at_o which_o time_n i_o give_v he_o likewise_o account_v of_o my_o life_n though_o yet_o but_o in_o a_o summarie_a way_n and_o of_o the_o manner_n of_o my_o proceed_n in_o prayer_n and_o this_o with_o the_o great_a claritie_n which_o i_o can_v possible_o use_v for_o this_o property_n i_o ever_o have_v to_o treat_v with_o all_o claritie_n and_o truth_n with_o they_o to_o who_o i_o impart_v my_o soul_n yea_o and_o i_o still_o desire_v that_o even_o the_o first_o motion_n of_o my_o hart_n may_v be_v make_v know_v to_o they_o and_o as_o for_o such_o thing_n as_o may_v be_v subject_a any_o way_n to_o suspicion_n or_o doubt_v i_o still_o be_v wont_a to_o argue_v they_o proceed_v against_o myself_o with_o the_o strong_a reason_n that_o i_o can_v bring_v so_o that_o i_o impart_v my_o soul_n to_o this_o father_n without_o any_o manner_n of_o duplicitie_n or_o disguise_n at_o all_o and_o i_o find_v that_o he_o understand_v i_o almost_o even_o at_o
the_o very_a first_o by_o experience_n which_o be_v indeed_o the_o only_o thing_n whereof_o i_o have_v need_v at_o that_o time_n for_o then_o i_o can_v not_o give_v myself_o so_o well_o to_o be_v understand_v as_o now_o i_o can_v at_o least_o not_o so_o far_o as_o to_o express_v it_o home_o for_o since_o that_o time_n it_o have_v please_v our_o lord_n to_o enable_v i_o to_o understand_v and_o to_o declare_v to_o i_o the_o favour_n which_o his_o divine_a majesty_n do_v i_o but_o former_o it_o be_v necessary_a enough_o for_o i_o to_o find_v a_o person_n who_o have_v pass_v through_o the_o same_o thing_n by_o experience_n if_o i_o will_v hope_v that_o he_o shall_v perfect_o understand_v i_o and_o declare_v to_o i_o what_o every_o thing_n be_v now_o this_o father_n give_v i_o very_o great_a light_n for_o i_o can_v not_o by_o any_o mean_n understand_v what_o that_o can_v be_v which_o concern_v those_o vision_n which_o be_v not_o imaginary_a or_o represent_v by_o the_o imagination_n and_o i_o think_v also_o that_o i_o understand_v as_o little_a of_o those_o other_o which_o i_o see_v with_o the_o only_o eye_n of_o my_o soul_n for_o as_o i_o have_v say_v before_o those_o only_a which_o be_v visible_a by_o our_o corporeal_a eye_n seem_v to_o i_o to_o be_v indeed_o of_o importance_n and_o of_o these_o i_o have_v receive_v none_o at_o all_o but_o now_o this_o holy_a man_n give_v i_o light_n in_o all_o and_o declare_v it_o to_o i_o and_o require_v i_o not_o to_o be_v trouble_v any_o long_o but_o that_o i_o shall_v bless_v and_o praise_v almighty_a god_n and_o that_o i_o be_v to_o be_v very_o sure_a that_o these_o be_v true_a effect_n of_o his_o spirit_n and_o that_o although_o it_o be_v no_o article_n of_o faith_n yet_o nothing_o can_v be_v more_o certain_o true_a nor_o which_o i_o may_v more_o firm_o believe_v and_o he_o comfort_v himself_o very_o much_o with_o i_o and_o show_v i_o all_o courtesy_n and_o favour_n and_o ever_o after_o he_o have_v great_a care_n of_o i_o and_o he_o communicate_v diverse_a of_o his_o affair_n and_o business_n with_o i_o and_o find_v that_o i_o have_v the_o selfsame_a desire_n of_o those_o thing_n which_o he_o have_v already_o put_v in_o practice_n for_o indeed_o in_o as_o much_o as_o concern_v desire_n our_o lord_n have_v give_v they_o to_o i_o with_o great_a resolution_n and_o find_v also_o that_o i_o be_v so_o full_a of_o courage_n in_o order_n to_o that_o end_n he_o take_v particular_a contentment_n to_o treat_v with_o i_o for_o whensoever_o our_o bless_a lord_n be_v please_v to_o bring_v one_o to_o this_o state_n there_o be_v truth_n no_o joy_n or_o comfort_n which_o can_v be_v equal_a to_o the_o meeting_n with_o some_o such_o other_o person_n as_o to_o who_o our_o lord_n have_v be_v please_v to_o vouchsafe_v some_o beginning_n thereof_o for_o then_o perhaps_o i_o have_v not_o much_o more_o than_o a_o beginning_n by_o what_o i_o may_v be_v able_a to_o conceive_v and_o i_o beseech_v our_o bless_a lord_n that_o i_o have_v it_o vet_n but_o as_o for_o he_o he_o have_v extraordinary_a compassion_n of_o i_o and_o tell_v i_o that_o one_o of_o the_o very_o great_a affliction_n of_o this_o life_n be_v that_o which_o i_o have_v endure_v namely_o the_o opposition_n and_o contradiction_n of_o good_a man_n and_o that_o still_o i_o will_v be_v a_o little_a obnoxious_a in_o the_o same_o kind_n because_o i_o must_v ever_o be_v in_o need_n of_o help_n and_o that_o he_o fear_v there_o be_v no_o body_n in_o that_o city_n who_o will_v understand_v i_o but_o that_o he_o will_v speak_v with_o my_o ghostly_a father_n &_o to_o one_o also_o of_o those_o other_o who_o be_v wont_a to_o give_v i_o most_o discomfort_n which_o be_v that_o marry_v cavallier_n of_o who_o i_o speak_v before_o for_o he_o as_o be_v a_o person_n who_o love_v i_o perhaps_o more_o than_o the_o rest_n do_v continual_o make_v war_n upon_o i_o and_o he_o be_v a_o man_n of_o a_o tender_a and_o holy_a soul_n and_o consider_v how_o late_o before_o he_o have_v find_v how_o wicked_a i_o be_v he_o know_v not_o how_o to_o make_v himself_o sure_a that_o all_o be_v right_a but_o now_o the_o holle_fw-ge man_n fray_n pedro_n grow_v to_o talk_v with_o those_o two_o person_n afforesayd_a and_o he_o show_v they_o cause_n and_o reason_n why_o they_o shall_v both_o quiet_a and_o assure_v themselves_o and_o disturb_v i_o no_o more_o as_o for_o my_o ghostly_a father_n there_o be_v no_o very_a great_a need_n of_o much_o diligence_n but_o as_o for_o the_o cavalier_n it_o suffice_v not_o for_o he_o to_o hear_v what_o fray_n pedro_n say_v though_o yet_o it_o be_v a_o mean_n to_o keep_v he_o from_o fright_v i_o so_o very_o much_o as_o he_o have_v do_v before_o but_o then_o we_o resolve_v together_o that_o i_o shall_v write_v to_o fray_n pedro_n of_o all_o that_o which_o may_v succeed_v to_o i_o afterward_o and_o to_o recommend_v one_o another_o much_o to_o almighty_a god_n for_o so_o great_a be_v his_o humility_n as_o to_o make_v some_o little_a account_n of_o the_o prayer_n of_o this_o miserable_a creature_n which_o give_v i_o confusion_n enough_o but_o he_o leave_v i_o with_o extreme_a comfort_n and_o gust_n and_o direct_v i_o to_o proceed_v secure_o on_o with_o my_o prayer_n and_o to_o make_v no_o doubt_n at_o all_o but_o that_o it_o be_v of_o almighty_a god_n and_o that_o whensoever_o i_o may_v be_v in_o any_o doubt_n for_o my_o own_o great_a security_n i_o shall_v impart_v whatsoever_o occur_v to_o my_o ghostly_a father_n and_o that_o then_o i_o shall_v hold_v myself_o for_o safe_a but_o yet_o notwithstanding_o all_o this_o counsel_n i_o be_v not_o able_a to_o be_v entire_o secure_a because_o our_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o guide_v i_o still_o by_o the_o way_n of_o fear_n which_o sometime_o make_v i_o apt_a to_o doubt_v that_o the_o devil_n have_v a_o hand_n in_o the_o business_n whensoever_o they_o will_v needs_o tell_v i_o that_o it_o be_v so_o and_o thus_o indeed_o upon_o the_o whole_a matter_n no_o creature_n be_v able_a to_o give_v i_o either_o so_o much_o security_n or_o so_o much_o fear_n as_o to_o make_v i_o yield_v more_o credit_n to_o either_o of_o they_o than_o our_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o infuse_v into_o my_o soul_n so_o that_o howsoever_o this_o holy_a man_n do_v help_v i_o both_o to_o quiet_a and_o comfort_n yet_o do_v i_o not_o so_o entire_o believe_v he_o as_o to_o remain_v without_o any_o fear_n at_o all_o especial_o when_o our_o lord_n come_v sometime_o to_o leave_v i_o in_o certain_a trouble_n of_o mind_n which_o i_o shall_v instant_o relate_v yet_o howsoever_o as_o i_o be_v say_v my_o comfort_n be_v then_o much_o increase_v but_o i_o can_v not_o then_o satisfy_v myself_o with_o give_v humble_a thanks_n enough_o to_o almighty_a god_n and_o to_o that_o glorious_a father_n of_o i_o s._n joseph_n who_o as_o i_o be_v apt_a to_o think_v have_v bring_v fray_n pedro_n thither_o for_o he_o be_v commissarie_n general_n of_o the_o custodia_fw-la of_o s._n joseph_n to_o who_o as_o also_o to_o our_o b._n lady_n i_o use_v to_o recommend_v myself_o much_o now_o it_o have_v happen_v to_o i_o former_o sometime_o yea_o and_o so_o it_o do_v also_o yet_o though_o not_o so_o often_o to_o find_v myself_o in_o so_o excessive_a trouble_n and_o affliction_n of_o mind_n together_o with_o fierce_a infirmity_n affliction_n and_o torment_n of_o body_n that_o i_o know_v not_o which_o way_n to_o turn_v myself_o at_o other_o time_n i_o have_v be_v subject_a to_o corporal_a misery_n which_o be_v more_o grievous_a but_o yet_o not_o find_v myself_o subject_a then_o to_o the_o sense_n of_o such_o sorrow_n of_o mind_n as_o now_o i_o have_v i_o pass_v with_o much_o alacrity_n through_o they_o all_o but_o whensoever_o they_o of_o both_o kind_n come_v together_o the_o misery_n of_o it_o be_v so_o great_a as_o that_o it_o give_v i_o affliction_n enough_o and_o as_o for_o those_o great_a favour_n which_o our_o lord_n have_v be_v please_v to_o do_v i_o i_o then_o forget_v they_o all_o and_o there_o only_o remain_v but_o such_o a_o kind_n of_o memory_n of_o they_o as_o of_o a_o thing_n which_o i_o have_v dream_v and_o this_o serve_v but_o to_o give_v i_o so_o much_o the_o more_o pain_n for_o the_o understanding_n grow_v in_o those_o case_n to_o be_v all_o obscure_v and_o dull_v in_o such_o sort_n as_o that_o it_o make_v i_o enter_v into_o a_o thousand_o suspicion_n trouble_n and_o doubt_n as_o if_o i_o have_v not_o former_o understand_v thing_n well_o and_o that_o perhaps_o i_o follow_v fancy_n in_o stead_n of_o truth_n and_o that_o it_o may_v have_v be_v misery_n enough_o for_o i_o to_o be_v deceive_v myself_o without_o seek_v
be_v never_o so_o much_o alone_o though_o yet_o i_o feel_v still_o that_o i_o know_v there_o be_v a_o god_n and_o i_o find_v also_o that_o it_o be_v my_o imagination_n and_o my_o understanding_n which_o do_v i_o so_o much_o hurt_v in_o these_o occasion_n and_o cafe_v for_o as_o for_o my_o will_n i_o think_v it_o stand_v right_a in_o i_o and_o that_o it_o be_v dispose_v to_o all_o goodness_n but_o this_o understanding_n of_o i_o be_v so_o entire_o lose_v that_o it_o seem_v to_o be_v no_o other_o thing_n than_o some_o furious_a and_o mad_a kind_n of_o fool_n who_o no_o body_n be_v able_a to_o bind_v nor_o be_o i_o so_o far_a mistress_n thereof_o as_o that_o i_o can_v make_v it_o quiet_a for_o one_o credo_fw-la sometime_o i_o fall_v on_o laugh_v and_o yet_o then_o do_v i_o know_v my_o misery_n and_o stand_v look_v upon_o my_o soul_n and_o permit_v she_o to_o do_v what_o she_o will_v and_o yet_o our_o lord_n be_v thank_v she_o never_o by_o any_o mean_n apply_v herself_o to_o any_o thing_n which_o be_v ill_a but_o only_o about_o thing_n which_o be_v indifferent_a if_o there_o be_v any_o thing_n which_o may_v occur_v to_o be_v do_v either_o here_o or_o there_o or_o any_o where_o else_o but_o thus_o i_o come_v to_o know_v better_o the_o incomparable_a mercy_n which_o our_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o show_v i_o upon_o his_o tying-up_a this_o mad_a fool_n when_o we_o be_v in_o perfect_a contemplation_n and_o here_o i_o consider_v what_o will_v become_v of_o i_o if_o such_o person_n as_o hold_v i_o now_o for_o good_a can_v discern_v i_o to_o have_v these_o idleness_n and_o impertinency_n which_o i_o have_v describe_v here_o but_o now_o i_o have_v very_o great_a compassion_n of_o a_o soul_n to_o find_v she_o in_o so_o ill_a company_n as_o this_o i_o will_v fain_o see_v she_o rather_o in_o liberty_n and_o i_o express_v myself_o in_o this_o manner_n to_o our_o bless_a lord_n when_o o_o my_o god_n shall_v i_o arrive_v to_o see_v my_o soul_n all_o conjoin_a and_o unite_v together_o in_o celebrate_v thy_o praise_n that_o so_o all_o the_o power_n thereof_o may_v admire_v thou_o permit_v not_o heerafrer_n o_o lord_n that_o she_o wander_v up_o and_o down_o by_o piece_n for_o now_o it_o seem_v no_o otherwise_o then_o as_o if_o every_o one_o of_o the_o same_o power_n be_v run_v up_o and_o down_o in_o a_o several_a way_n these_o thing_n pass_v thus_o very_o often_o and_o i_o understand_v also_o very_o well_o that_o sometime_o the_o little_a corporal_a health_n i_o have_v contribute_v much_o to_o these_o inconvenience_n i_o also_o reflect_v much_o by_o these_o occasion_n upon_o the_o hurt_n which_o the_o sin_n of_o our_o first_o parent_n have_v do_v we_o for_o i_o think_v it_o be_v grow_v from_o thence_o that_o we_o be_v incapable_a to_o enjoy_v so_o great_a a_o good_a and_o my_o own_o sin_n be_v a_o great_a part_n of_o the_o cause_n for_o certain_o if_o i_o have_v not_o commit_v so_o many_o i_o shall_v have_v remain_v more_o entire_a and_o free_a towards_o the_o do_n of_o good_a i_o be_v subject_a also_o by_o time_n to_o another_o very_a great_a inconvenience_n for_o conceave_a that_o i_o understand_v all_o the_o book_n that_o treat_v of_o prayer_n which_o i_o come_v to_o read_v and_o that_o already_o our_o bless_a lord_n have_v do_v i_o some_o such_o kind_n of_o favour_n as_o that_o i_o need_v they_o not_o for_o this_o reason_n i_o do_v not_o read_v they_o but_o apply_v myself_o to_o read_v the_o live_v of_o saint_n and_o find_v myself_o also_o very_o short_a in_o that_o wherein_o they_o have_v so_o heroical_o serve_v almighty_a god_n this_o seem_v to_o do_v i_o good_a and_o give_v i_o strength_n but_o yet_o i_o think_v this_o be_v a_o sign_n of_o little_a humility_n for_o i_o to_o think_v that_o i_o be_v already_o arrive_v to_o hold_v that_o degree_n of_o prayer_n and_o not_o be_v able_a to_o quiet_v myself_o otherwise_o i_o continue_v much_o in_o pain_n till_o certain_a learned_a man_n and_o particular_o that_o bless_a creature_n fray_n pedro_fw-la de_fw-fr alcantara_n declare_v to_o i_o that_o i_o be_v not_o to_o be_v trouble_v at_o that_o i_o be_o not_o ignorant_a that_o in_o the_o serve_v of_o almighty_a god_n i_o have_v not_o yet_o so_o much_o as_o begin_v though_o yet_o the_o way_n which_o his_o divine_a majesty_n have_v hold_v in_o do_v i_o favour_n be_v the_o same_o which_o he_o have_v use_v towards_o such_o as_o be_v good_a whereas_o for_o my_o part_n i_o be_o no_o more_o than_o a_o direct_a downright_a mere_a imperfection_n unless_o it_o be_v in_o my_o desire_n to_o love_v he_o for_o in_o this_o indeed_o i_o see_v well_o that_o our_o lord_n have_v do_v i_o favour_n that_o so_o i_o may_v perform_v some_o little_a thing_n for_o he_o i_o confess_v i_o think_v i_o love_v he_o but_o my_o action_n and_o the_o many_o imperfection_n which_o i_o discern_v therein_o give_v i_o great_a discomfort_n at_o other_o time_n my_o soul_n fall_v into_o a_o kind_n of_o foolery_n for_o so_o it_o be_v when_o i_o think_v i_o do_v neither_o good_a nor_o ill_a but_o follow_v on_o after_o the_o walk_n of_o other_o folk_n and_o this_o neither_o with_o pain_n nor_o glory_n nor_o with_o thought_n of_o life_n or_o death_n nor_o gust_n nor_o trouble_n yea_o i_o think_v she_o feel_v nothing_o at_o all_o but_o rather_o seem_v to_o i_o to_o walk_v on_o like_o some_o little_a ass_n who_o seed_n and_o sustain_v himself_o because_o they_o give_v he_o somewhat_o to_o eat_v and_o he_o eat_v almost_o without_o think_v what_o he_o be_v do_v for_o the_o soul_n when_o she_o be_v in_o this_o state_n be_v not_o likely_a to_o be_v without_o feed_v upon_o some_o great_a favour_n of_o almighty_a god_n since_o she_o be_v not_o trouble_v with_o live_v in_o so_o miserable_a a_o life_n as_o this_o but_o pass_v through_o it_o with_o patience_n and_o equality_n of_o mind_n but_o yet_o these_o motion_n and_o effect_n be_v not_o find_v by_o she_o in_o such_o sort_n as_o that_o the_o soul_n be_v make_v to_o understand_v herself_o by_o they_o it_o seem_v now_o also_o to_o i_o to_o be_v as_o when_o man_n sail_v at_o sea_n by_o the_o breath_n of_o a_o sweet_a and_o gentle_a wind_n for_o then_o we_o ride_v much_o way_n though_o we_o scarce_o know_v how_o whereas_o in_o those_o other_o condition_n the_o effect_n be_v so_o very_o great_a that_o the_o soul_n do_v almost_o instant_o discern_v she_o own_o improvement_n for_o instant_o do_v her_o desire_n boil_v up_o and_o the_o soul_n can_v never_o satisfy_v herself_o but_o they_o to_o who_o almighty_a god_n impart_v such_o impetuosity_n of_o love_n do_v find_v such_o operation_n as_o these_o this_o be_v like_o certain_a little_a spring_n which_o i_o have_v observe_v to_o rise_v and_o where_o the_o sand_n never_o cease_v to_o move_v upward_o and_o this_o example_n and_o comparison_n of_o soul_n which_o be_v arrive_v to_o this_o state_n seem_v very_o natural_a to_o i_o for_o love_n will_v be_v ever_o boil_v upward_o and_o consider_v and_o devise_v about_o what_o it_o may_v be_v able_a to_o do_v and_o can_v by_o no_o mean_n be_v contain_v in_o itself_o as_o it_o seem_v the_o water_n whereof_o i_o speak_v be_v not_o able_a to_o continue_v in_o the_o earth_n which_o still_o be_v cast_v it_o up_o from_o thence_o and_o just_o so_o be_v it_o very_o usual_a for_o the_o soul_n not_o to_o be_v at_o quiet_a or_o in_o contentment_n with_o herself_o through_o the_o love_n she_o bear_v to_o almighty_a god_n but_o she_o be_v so_o bathe_v and_o soak_v and_o fill_v with_o it_o that_o she_o wish_n that_o other_o will_v drink_v too_o since_o for_o her_o part_n she_o can_v want_v that_o so_o they_o may_v assist_v she_o to_o sing_v the_o praise_n of_o almighty_a god_n o_o how_o often_o do_v i_o call_v to_o mind_n that_o live_a water_n whereof_o our_o lord_n speak_v to_o the_o samaritan_n as_o indeed_o i_o be_o very_o much_o devote_a to_o that_o gospel_n and_o real_o it_o be_v most_o true_a that_o i_o be_v so_o even_o from_o my_o childhood_n though_o i_o do_v not_o then_o understand_v this_o benefit_n as_o now_o i_o do_v but_o i_o often_o beseech_v our_o lord_n to_o bestow_v of_o this_o water_n upon_o i_o and_o always_o i_o have_v the_o image_n or_o figure_n of_o it_o at_o hand_n with_o this_o motto_n or_o word_n of_o she_o when_o he_o be_v so_o near_o the_o well_o domine_fw-la da_fw-la mihi_fw-la hanc_fw-la aquam_fw-la o_o lord_n bestow_v this_o water_n upon_o i_o it_o seem_v also_o to_o i_o that_o as_o a_o fire_n which_o be_v very_o great_a needs_o matter_n upon_o which_o to_o work_v to_o the_o end_n that_o it_o may_v not_o be_v extinguish_v so_o also_o for_o
those_o soul_n whereof_o i_o speak_v it_o be_v necessary_a that_o they_o be_v bring_v wood_n how_o dear_a soever_o it_o may_v cost_v they_o to_o the_o end_n that_o this_o fire_n may_v not_o go_v out_o for_o my_o part_n i_o be_o so_o miserable_a a_o creature_n that_o i_o will_v be_v content_a if_o i_o have_v but_o straw_n to_o cast_v in_o and_o so_o it_o happen_v to_o i_o sometime_o yea_o and_o very_o often_o that_o one_o while_o i_o will_v be_v laugh_v and_o at_o other_o time_n much_o afflict_v for_o a_o certain_a interior_a motion_n and_o impulse_n which_o i_o have_v be_v ever_o incite_v i_o to_o serve_v god_n in_o somewhat_o and_o since_o i_o be_o not_o fit_a for_o great_a matter_n to_o do_v it_o by_o gather_v flower_n and_o make_v posy_n and_o apply_v they_o in_o decent_a manner_n to_o holy_a image_n and_o picture_n to_o sweep_v or_o dresse-up_a some_o oratory_n or_o in_o do_v such_o other_o little_a and_o poor_a thing_n as_o give_v i_o confusion_n to_o see_v that_o they_o be_v no_o great_a and_o so_o also_o if_o i_o chance_v to_o do_v any_o penance_n it_o be_v all_o so_o very_o little_a and_o so_o poor_o do_v that_o unless_o our_o lord_n shall_v vouchsafe_v to_o accept_v the_o desire_n for_o the_o deed_n i_o see_v plain_o that_o i_o be_v good_a for_o nothing_o and_o in_o a_o word_n i_o do_v even_o laugh_v at_o myself_o but_o now_o it_o give_v no_o small_a trouble_n to_o such_o soul_n as_o it_o please_v almighty_a god_n through_o his_o goodness_n to_o endue_v with_o the_o fire_n of_o his_o love_n in_o great_a abundance_n if_o they_o be_v in_o want_n of_o corporal_a health_n and_o strength_n whereby_o they_o may_v be_v able_a to_o do_v somewhat_o for_o he_o since_o this_o give_v a_o very_a great_a pain_n for_o in_o regard_n that_o we_o want_v strength_n to_o carry_v still_o more_o and_o more_o wood_n to_o this_o fire_n and_o such_o soul_n do_v even_o die_v for_o the_o fear_n they_o have_v lest_o the_o fire_n shall_v go_v out_o it_o seem_v to_o i_o that_o she_o do_v even_o consume_v and_o burn_v herself_o up_o into_o ash_n or_o else_o even_o dissolve_v herself_o into_o tear_n and_o so_o breath_n herself_o away_o into_o nothing_o and_o this_o be_v a_o strong_a kind_n of_o torment_n though_o it_o leave_v not_o to_o be_v savoury_a withal_o let_v such_o a_o soul_n as_o this_o give_v great_a thanks_n to_o almighty_a god_n if_o she_o have_v arrive_v to_o this_o state_n state_n and_o if_o our_o lord_n have_v give_v her_o person_n corporal_a strength_n to_o do_v penance_n or_o if_o he_o have_v impart_v learning_n and_o talent_n and_o power_n to_o preach_v and_o hear_v confession_n and_o win_v soul_n to_o almighty_a god_n for_o she_o know_v not_o nor_o understand_v not_o the_o great_a benefit_n which_o be_v possess_v by_o she_o unless_o she_o be_v grow_v so_o far_o as_o to_o feel_v the_o affliction_n which_o it_o bring_v to_o be_v ever_o receive_v much_o at_o the_o hand_n of_o our_o lord_n and_o never_o to_o be_v able_a withal_o to_o be_v do_v his_o divine_a majesty_n any_o service_n let_v he_o be_v ever_o bless_v for_o all_o and_o let_v the_o angel_n give_v he_o glory_n amen_n i_o know_v not_o whether_o i_o do_v well_o to_o be_v write_v of_o so_o many_o little_a thing_n but_o since_o your_o reverence_n have_v command_v i_o yet_o again_o not_o to_o esteem_v it_o any_o trouble_n to_o enlarge_v myself_o and_o that_o i_o must_v be_v sure_a to_o omit_v nothing_o i_o therefore_o go_v discourse_v with_o clearness_n and_o with_o truth_n of_o as_o much_o as_o i_o can_v call_v to_o mind_n and_o it_o be_v impossible_a but_o that_o i_o shall_v omit_v many_o thing_n for_o else_o it_o will_v grow_v to_o cost_v i_o much_o more_o time_n whereof_o i_o have_v very_o little_a as_o i_o have_v say_v and_o then_o when_o all_o be_v do_v it_o will_v perhaps_o be_v of_o no_o benefit_n at_o all_o the_o one_o and_o thirty_o chapter_n she_o treat_v of_o certain_a exterior_a temptation_n and_o representation_n of_o the_o devil_n and_o of_o the_o torment_n which_o he_o give_v she_o she_o speak_v also_o of_o other_o thing_n which_o be_v very_o fit_a for_o the_o advice_n and_o instruction_n of_o such_o person_n as_o be_v walk_v on_o in_o the_o way_n of_o perfection_n as_o i_o have_v speak_v of_o sorne_n interior_a and_o secret_a temptation_n and_o disturbance_n which_o the_o devil_n bring_v upon_o subject_a i_o so_o now_o will_v i_o speak_v of_o some_o other_o which_o in_o effect_n be_v public_a and_o wherein_o i_o can_v not_o be_v ignorant_a but_o that_o it_o be_v he_o i_o be_v once_o in_o a_o certain_a oratory_n and_o he_o appear_v to_o i_o on_o my_o left_a side_n in_o a_o abominable_a kind_n of_o figure_n and_o in_o particular_a i_o observe_v his_o mouth_n because_o he_o be_v speak_v to_o i_o and_o it_o be_v of_o a_o most_o ugly_a form_n it_o seem_v to_o i_o that_o a_o huge_a flame_n come_v out_o of_o his_o body_n and_o it_o be_v all_o a_o very_a bright_a one_o without_o any_o obscurity_n at_o all_o he_o tell_v i_o after_o a_o most_o hideous_a manner_n that_o howsoever_o i_o have_v free_v myself_o once_o out_o of_o his_o hand_n he_o will_v yet_o find_v mean_n enough_o to_o fetch_v i_o back_o again_o i_o be_v in_o a_o mighty_a fear_n but_o i_o bless_v myself_o as_o well_o as_o i_o can_v and_o so_o he_o vanish_v a_o way_n but_o yet_o he_o instant_o return_v and_o this_o happen_v to_o i_o two_o several_a time_n nor_o do_v i_o know_v in_o the_o world_n what_o to_o do_v only_o i_o have_v holie-water_n near_o at_o hand_n and_o so_o i_o sprinkle_v it_o towards_o the_o part_n where_o he_o be_v and_o he_o never_o return_v to_o i_o any_o more_o another_o time_n he_o be_v some_o five_o hour_n together_o torment_v i_o with_o very_o terrible_a pain_n and_o both_o exterior_a and_o interior_a disquiet_n in_o such_o sort_n that_o it_o be_v even_o past_o endure_v the_o woman_n who_o be_v then_o at_o hand_n be_v astonish_v to_o see_v what_o pass_v but_o neither_o can_v they_o tell_v what_o to_o do_v nor_o i_o how_o to_o serve_v myself_o of_o their_o help_n my_o custom_n be_v whensoever_o any_o corporal_a sickness_n or_o pain_n be_v very_o intolerable_a to_o make_v certain_a act_n within_o myself_o the_o best_a i_o can_v beserch_v our_o bless_a lord_n that_o his_o divine_a majesty_n will_v give_v i_o patience_n and_o that_o if_o it_o shall_v redound_v to_o his_o service_n i_o may_v continue_v to_o suffer_v so_o even_o till_o the_o very_a end_n of_o the_o world_n and_o therefore_o now_o when_o i_o find_v myself_o put_v to_o suffer_v with_o so_o much_o rigour_n i_o apply_v myself_o to_o get_v help_n by_o make_v some_o such_o act_n as_o those_o and_o diverse_a good_a purpose_n also_o that_o so_o i_o may_v bear_v the_o burden_n the_o better_a and_o our_o lord_n be_v please_v then_o that_o i_o shall_v clear_o understand_v it_o to_o be_v the_o devil_n for_o i_o see_v a_o certain_a little_a abominable_a negro_n or_o black-more_a hard_a by_o i_o gnash_v his_o tooth_n even_o like_o a_o despair_a wretch_n but_o yet_o in_o fine_a he_o lose_v by_o what_o he_o hope_v to_o gain_v for_o as_o soon_o as_o i_o see_v he_o i_o fall_v a_o laugh_n and_o have_v no_o fear_n of_o he_o at_o all_o but_o there_o be_v some_o person_n by_o who_o know_v not_o what_o to_o do_v in_o this_o case_n nor_o how_o to_o procure_v any_o remedy_n for_o such_o pain_n as_o they_o see_v i_o endure_v the_o blow_n be_v so_o great_a which_o he_o make_v i_o give_v myself_o both_o upon_o my_o arm_n and_o my_o head_n and_o my_o whole_a body_n and_o i_o not_o have_v any_o power_n at_o all_o to_o resist_v he_o yea_o and_o which_o be_v worse_o than_o this_o i_o be_v subject_a to_o so_o great_a a_o inward_a kind_n of_o restlessness_n and_o disquiet_v as_o i_o can_v by_o no_o mean_n appease_v no_o nor_o yet_o dare_v i_o so_o much_o as_o call_v for_o holie-water_n for_o fear_n of_o give_v they_o apprehension_n who_o be_v there_o and_o so_o to_o make_v they_o know_v what_o the_o matter_n be_v for_o my_o part_n i_o have_v find_v by_o much_o experience_n that_o there_o be_v not_o any_o thing_n from_o which_o the_o devil_n do_v so_o certain_o fly_v and_o so_o as_o to_o return_v no_o more_o as_o from_o water_n holie-water_n they_o fly_v also_o from_o the_o cross_n but_o in_o that_o case_n they_o will_v present_o sometime_o return_v again_o so_o that_o certain_o the_o virtue_n of_o holie-water_n be_v great_a and_o for_o my_o part_n my_o soul_n find_v a_o particular_a and_o evident_a kind_n of_o comfort_n when_o i_o take_v it_o and_o real_o and_o usual_o i_o feel_v such_o a_o ease_n and_o pleasure_n
lord_n with_o such_o a_o abundance_n of_o mercy_n have_v not_o dispatch_v all_o that_o business_n alone_o for_o till_o he_o out_o of_o his_o own_o goodness_n do_v so_o your_o reverence_n will_v already_o have_v see_v that_o on_o my_o part_n there_o be_v nothing_o at_o all_o but_o only_o rise_v and_o fall_v over_o and_o over_o i_o will_v fain_o express_v this_o point_n home_n for_o i_o believe_v that_o many_o soul_n grow_v to_o be_v abuse_v and_o deceive_v because_o they_o have_v a_o mind_n to_o fly_v before_o almighty_a god_n give_v they_o wing_n i_o conceive_v that_o i_o have_v former_o use_v this_o comparison_n but_o it_o come_v also_o very_a well_o in_o here_o for_o i_o find_v that_o many_o soul_n be_v much_o afflict_v upon_o this_o occasion_n as_o namely_o when_o they_o begin_v with_o great_a desire_n and_o resolution_n to_o go_v forward_o in_o the_o way_n of_o virtue_n and_o some_o do_v even_o give-ove_a all_o for_o love_v thereof_o forasmuch_o as_o concern_v exterior_a thing_n and_o yet_o see_v more_o advantageous_a effect_n and_o fruit_n of_o such_o virtue_n as_o our_o lord_n have_v infuse_v into_o the_o soul_n of_o other_o who_o be_v more_o proficient_a then_o into_o they_o and_o that_o they_o can_v perform_v certain_a thing_n which_o be_v set_v down_o in_o those_o book_n which_o be_v write_v of_o prayer_n and_o contemplation_n which_o man_n be_v advise_v to_o use_v so_o to_o make_v themselves_o ascend_v up_o the_o better_a and_o the_o high_a to_o this_o dignity_n and_o in_o fine_a when_o they_o can_v instant_o obtain_v these_o thing_n they_o discomfort_n and_o afflict_v themselves_o as_o for_o example_n not_o to_o care_v a_o straw_n if_o any_o body_n shall_v speak_v ill_a of_o we_o but_o rather_o to_o take_v more_o contentment_n in_o it_o then_o when_o they_o praise_v we_o to_o have_v very_o little_a esteem_n of_o our_o honour_n to_o be_v perfect_o untie_v from_o the_o care_n of_o kindred_n and_o friend_n and_o not_o to_o desire_v to_o converse_v with_o they_o but_o rather_o to_o be_v weary_a of_o their_o company_n unless_o they_o be_v person_n of_o prayer_n and_o many_o other_o thing_n of_o this_o kind_n which_o must_v in_o my_o opinion_n come_v from_o the_o gift_n of_o almighty_a god_n because_o i_o hold_v they_o for_o supernatural_a blessing_n and_o very_o contrary_a to_o our_o own_o natural_a inclination_n and_o therefore_o let_v they_o not_o be_v afflict_v but_o put_v their_o trust_n in_o our_o lord_n that_o so_o what_o now_o they_o have_v in_o desire_n his_o divine_a majesty_n may_v be_v please_v to_o give_v they_o afterward_o with_o effect_n and_o fruit_n by_o mean_n of_o prayer_n and_o by_o their_o do_v on_o their_o part_n what_o they_o can_v for_o it_o be_v a_o most_o necessary_a thing_n for_o this_o weak_a and_o poor_a nature_n of_o we_o to_o place_v a_o great_a confidence_n in_o our_o b._n lord_n &_o not_o to_o put_v ourselves_o out_o of_o hart_n nor_o to_o think_v but_o that_o if_o we_o will_v proceed_v with_o courage_n we_o shall_v be_v victorious_a and_o because_o i_o have_v much_o experience_n hereof_o i_o will_v speak_v a_o word_n or_o two_o by_o way_n of_o advice_n to_o your_o reverence_n for_o you_o must_v not_o think_v though_o it_o may_v appear_v as_o if_o it_o be_v true_a that_o any_o virtue_n be_v already_o gain_v unless_o it_o be_v first_o compare_v and_o experiment_v by_o the_o vice_n which_o be_v contrary_a to_o it_o and_o we_o must_v always_o remain_v doubtful_a and_o suspicious_a and_o not_o cast_v off_o our_o care_n as_o long_o as_o we_o be_v the_o owner_n of_o our_o life_n for_o our_o weakness_n stick_v close_o and_o fast_o to_o we_o unless_o as_o i_o be_v say_v before_o the_o whole_a benefit_n be_v impart_v to_o we_o by_o divine_a grace_n to_o the_o end_n that_o we_o may_v know_v what_o all_o the_o thing_n of_o this_o life_n be_v worth_a and_o that_o there_o be_v never_o any_o such_o thing_n as_o can_v be_v term_v all_o but_o in_o company_n of_o many_o danger_n it_o seem_v to_o i_o some_o few_o year_n ago_o that_o not_o only_o i_o be_v not_o inordinate_o tie_v to_o the_o love_n of_o any_o of_o my_o kindred_n but_o rather_o that_o i_o be_v weary_a of_o they_o and_o it_o be_v real_o very_o true_a that_o there_o be_v time_n when_o i_o will_v not_o so_o much_o as_o endure_v their_o conversation_n but_o yet_o afterward_o there_o occur_v a_o certain_a business_n of_o much_o importance_n which_o oblige_v i_o to_o remain_v with_o a_o certain_a sister_n of_o i_o who_o former_o i_o have_v love_v with_o very_o extraordinary_a affection_n and_o now_o be_v come_v again_o to_o converse_v with_o she_o we_o suit_v not_o so_o very_o well_o with_o one_o another_o for_o though_o she_o be_v better_a than_o i_o yet_o be_v of_o a_o different_a condition_n from_o i_o in_o regard_n that_o she_o be_v marry_v the_o conversation_n be_v not_o always_o that_o which_o i_o can_v have_v wish_v and_o therefore_o i_o like_v to_o be_v alone_o as_o much_o as_o convenient_o i_o may_v but_o yet_o after_o a_o while_n i_o find_v that_o her_o trouble_n and_o affair_n bring_v i_o more_o resentment_n and_o care_n by_o much_o than_o such_o other_o do_v as_o belong_v to_o any_o christian_a neighbour_n of_o i_o at_o large_a and_o this_o give_v i_o some_o little_a disgust_n against_o myself_o for_o so_o in_o fine_a i_o come_v to_o know_v that_o i_o be_v not_o so_o very_o free_a and_o untie_v as_o i_o have_v former_o conceive_v and_o that_o moreover_o i_o be_v to_o have_v avoid_v the_o occasion_n to_o the_o end_n that_o so_o this_o virtue_n which_o our_o lord_n have_v begin_v to_o give_v i_o may_v have_v get_v strength_n and_o i_o have_v procure_v through_o his_o favour_n to_o proceed_v in_o this_o manner_n ever_o since_o when_o our_o lord_n begin_v to_o impart_v a_o virtue_n to_o a_o soul_n it_o be_v to_o be_v hold_v in_o great_a account_n and_o by_o no_o mean_n be_v we_o to_o expose_v it_o to_o the_o danger_n of_o be_v lose_v so_o be_v it_o in_o those_o thing_n which_o concern_v reputation_n and_o honour_n and_o so_o also_o in_o other_o and_o your_o reverence_n may_v well_o believe_v that_o not_o all_o they_o and_o we_o who_o esteem_v ourselves_o to_o be_v absolute_o untie_v from_o all_o thing_n be_v yet_o so_o indeed_o and_o we_o have_v need_n enough_o not_o to_o be_v slack_a or_o negligent_a herein_o for_o whatsoever_o person_n there_o be_v who_o feel_v any_o care_n at_o all_o of_o any_o one_o point_n of_o honour_n in_o himself_o let_v he_o believe_v i_o if_o he_o mean_v to_o profit_v in_o spirit_n that_o there_o be_v ever_o a_o certain_a tie_n at_o the_o end_n of_o it_o and_o it_o be_v by_o such_o a_o kind_n of_o chain_n as_o that_o there_o be_v no_o file_n in_o the_o world_n but_o god_n and_o prayer_n and_o very_o much_o endeavour_v on_o our_o part_n which_o will_v possible_o be_v able_a to_o divide_v it_o &_o it_o seem_v to_o be_v so_o fast_o a_o knot_n that_o i_o be_o amaze_v to_o see_v the_o mischief_n which_o it_o bring_v sometime_o i_o see_v certain_a person_n who_o seem_v to_o be_v even_a saint_n by_o their_o work_n for_o they_o do_v so_o very_a many_o and_o so_o great_a one_o that_o the_o world_n do_v even_o admire_v they_o and_o exclaim_v after_o this_o manner_n dear_a god_n and_o how_o come_v it_o to_o pass_v that_o such_o a_o soul_n as_o that_o do_v still_o inhabit_v the_o earth_n be_v he_o not_o already_o at_o the_o very_a top_n of_o perfection_n what_o be_v this_o and_o what_o can_v detain_v such_o a_o man_n from_o be_v a_o direct_a and_o downright_a saint_n who_o do_v so_o great_a thing_n for_o god_n but_o my_o answer_n to_o this_o question_n be_v that_o this_o man_n have_v yet_o perhaps_o some_o little_a consideration_n &_o care_n of_o preserve_v some_o point_n of_o honour_n for_o himself_o yea_o and_o the_o worst_a of_o this_o business_n be_v that_o he_o will_v by_o no_o mean_n believe_v that_o in_o very_a deed_n there_o be_v any_o such_o thing_n and_o that_o happen_v because_o sometime_o the_o devil_n make_v he_o conceive_v that_o he_o be_v even_o oblige_v to_o have_v a_o great_a care_n of_o it_o well_o yet_o let_v they_o harken_v to_o i_o i_o beseech_v they_o and_o together_o even_o for_o the_o love_n of_o our_o bless_a lord_n i_o beg_v of_o they_o that_o they_o will_v believe_v this_o poor_a little_a miserable_a ant_n who_o our_o lord_n command_v to_o speak_v that_o unless_o they_o free_v themselves_o from_o this_o caterpillar_n though_o perhaps_o it_o may_v not_o destroy_v the_o whole_a tree_n because_o some_o other_o virtue_n do_v still_o peradventure_o remain_v yet_o even_o all_o those_o very_a virtue_n will_v be_v worm-eaten_a nor_o will_v it_o ever_o be_v a_o beautiful_a
tree_n nor_o will_v it_o either_o thrive_v or_o prosper_v in_o itself_o no_o nor_o yet_o so_o much_o as_o suffer_v such_o other_o to_o thrive_v and_o prosper_v as_o shall_v grow_v near_o it_o for_o the_o fruit_n of_o good-example_n which_o it_o can_v give_v will_v not_o be_v wholesome_a or_o sound_n nor_o last_v long_o and_o i_o say_v and_o say_v again_o that_o when_o there_o be_v any_o point_n of_o honour_n to_o be_v maintain_v how_o little_a soever_o that_o may_v be_v it_o be_v like_o the_o stop_n of_o the_o organ_n whereof_o when_o the_o point_n or_o compass_n be_v in_o fault_n the_o whole_a music_n be_v also_o then_o in_o disorder_n it_o be_v a_o vice_n which_o be_v always_o procure_v hurt_v enough_o to_o the_o soul_n but_o in_o the_o way_n of_o prayer_n it_o be_v the_o very_a pestilence_n itself_o for_o then_o we_o be_v go_v to_o procure_v to_o join_v ourselves_o by_o way_n of_o union_n with_o almighty_a god_n and_o we_o say_v that_o we_o dispose_v ourselves_o to_o observe_v and_o follow_v the_o counsel_n of_o christ_n our_o lord_n who_o we_o find_v to_o be_v all_o load_a with_o injury_n and_o false_a testimony_n against_o he_o and_o yet_o we_o must_v forsooth_o be_v careful_a to_o hold-up_a our_o own_o reputation_n and_o honour_n very_a right_n and_o straight_o but_o it_o be_v not_o possible_a ever_o to_o arrive_v at_o that_o journey_n end_n without_o go_v by_o the_o same_o way_n which_o he_o go_v and_o our_o bless_a lord_n come_v approach_v then_o to_o a_o soul_n when_o we_o endeavour_v to_o concur_v with_o he_o and_o procure_v to_o depart_v and_o descend_v in_o many_o thing_n from_o that_o which_o be_v even_o our_o right_n but_o now_o some_o perhaps_o will_v say_v i_o know_v not_o wherein_o that_o shall_v be_v and_o i_o have_v nothing_o of_o this_o kind_n to_o offer_v up_o for_o his_o sake_n yet_o for_o my_o part_n i_o be_o apt_a to_o believe_v that_o whosoever_o have_v indeed_o so_o generous_a a_o resolution_n as_o this_o his_o divine_a majesty_n will_v ordain_v he_o so_o many_o different_a way_n for_o the_o gain_v of_o this_o virtue_n that_o perhaps_o he_o will_v not_o wish_v to_o have_v have_v so_o many_o let_v we_o all_o therefore_o put_v our_o hand_n to_o work_v for_o i_o be_o able_a to_o tell_v you_o that_o the_o nothing_o and_o poor_a littleness_n or_o some_o of_o they_o at_o least_o which_o be_v those_o miserable_a straw_n whereof_o i_o have_v speak_v and_o which_o i_o cast_v into_o the_o fire_n for_o i_o be_o fit_a for_o nothing_o else_o be_v all_o admit_v and_o accept_v by_o our_o bless_a lord_n and_o let_v he_o be_v praise_v for_o ever_o among_o the_o rest_n of_o my_o imperfection_n i_o be_v subject_a to_o this_o for_o one_o i_o have_v very_o little_a knowledge_n of_o the_o breviarie_n and_o of_o all_o that_o which_o be_v to_o be_v perform_v in_o the_o choir_n and_o this_o happen_v by_o my_o be_v so_o very_o careless_a and_o give_v to_o vanity_n and_o the_o while_n i_o see_v other_o novice_n who_o be_v able_a to_o have_v instruct_v i_o now_o i_o forbear_v to_o ask_v they_o any_o question_n for_o fear_v lest_o they_o shall_v know_v of_o my_o ignorance_n but_o short_o after_o a_o good_a example_n come_v before_o i_o for_o this_o mercy_n be_v usual_o vouchsafe_v by_o almighty_a god_n and_o so_o when_o he_o have_v a_o little_a open_v my_o eye_n i_o will_v then_o be_v content_a to_o ask_v whatsoever_o i_o know_v not_o most_o perfect_o well_o though_o for_o the_o most_o part_n i_o know_v it_o and_o thus_o both_o i_o lose_v forsooth_o no_o honour_n by_o the_o bargain_n and_o afterward_o it_o seem_v to_o i_o that_o our_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o give_v i_o a_o better_a memory_n i_o also_o know_v the_o sing_a part_n very_o ill_o and_o i_o be_v trouble_v if_o i_o do_v not_o learn_v what_o i_o be_v bid_v yet_o not_o this_o because_o i_o fail_v in_o what_o i_o shall_v have_v perform_v as_o in_o the_o presence_n of_o our_o lord_n for_o that_o have_v be_v virtue_n in_o i_o but_o in_o regard_n that_o there_o be_v so_o many_o who_o hear_v i_o and_o thus_o i_o be_v so_o disorder_v upon_o the_o mere_a point_n of_o look_v forsooth_o to_o my_o honour_n that_o real_o i_o acquit_v myself_o much_o worse_o than_o i_o know_v how_o to_o have_v do_v before_o but_o afterward_o i_o think_v it_o fit_a to_o tell_v they_o plain_o that_o i_o can_v not_o do_v that_o well_o which_o indeed_o i_o can_v not_o do_v at_o the_o first_o i_o have_v some_o difficulty_n also_o even_o in_o this_o but_o afterward_o i_o take_v contentment_n in_o do_v it_o and_o real_o it_o be_v very_o true_a that_o when_o once_o a_o body_n begin_v not_o to_o care_n that_o she_o be_v know_v not_o to_o know_v a_o thing_n she_o shall_v perform_v it_o much_o better_a and_o when_o this_o base_a ugly_a honour_n be_v once_o put_v out_o of_o the_o way_n this_o honour_n i_o mean_v which_o every_o body_n place_n where_o and_o in_o what_o he_o will_v by_o these_o nothing_o which_o be_v real_o nothing_o and_o i_o be_o sure_a i_o be_o nothing_o enough_o who_o such_o a_o babble_n can_v put_v to_o so_o much_o pain_n i_o be_v able_a to_o do_v those_o thing_n better_a and_o thus_o by_o perform_v such_o poor_a act_n and_o such_o miserable_a little_a thing_n as_o these_o his_o divine_a majesty_n vouchsafe_v to_o give_v they_o strength_n and_o value_n as_o have_v be_v perform_v for_o his_o sake_n he_o also_o help_v we_o on_o towards_o great_a thing_n and_o so_o do_v it_o happen_v to_o i_o in_o matter_n concern_v humility_n by_o my_o see_v that_o they_o all_o profit_v except_o myself_o for_o i_o be_v never_o good_a for_o any_o thing_n but_o òn_o when_o they_o go_v from_o the_o choir_n i_o will_v stay_v to_o fold-up_a their_o mantle_n for_o it_o seem_v no_o less_o to_o i_o then_o that_o they_o be_v as_o so_o many_o angel_n themselves_o who_o sing_v the_o praise_n of_o almighty_a god_n and_o still_o i_o use_v to_o do_v it_o till_o they_o come_v to_o hear_v of_o it_o but_o then_o i_o be_v not_o a_o little_a ashamed_a for_o my_o virtue_n do_v not_o arrive_v so_o far_o as_o to_o desire_v that_o they_o may_v know_v of_o it_o not_o yet_o because_o i_o be_v humble_a but_o only_o that_o they_o may_v not_o laugh_v at_o i_o for_o my_o labour_n and_o for_o my_o be_v so_o absolute_o good_a for_o nothing_o o_o my_o dear_a lord_n how_o mere_a a_o scorn_n and_o shame_n be_v it_o to_o see_v so_o great_a wickedness_n as_o i_o and_o find_v i_o reckon-up_a such_o poor_a and_o paltry_a little_a grain_n of_o sand_n as_o these_o which_o yet_o also_o i_o raise_v not_o out_o of_o the_o earth_n for_o thy_o honour_n and_o service_n but_o all_o be_v wrap_v up_o in_o a_o thousand_o misery_n for_o the_o water_n of_o thy_o grace_n have_v not_o yet_o spring_v and_o boyled-up_a in_o i_o to_o make_v they_o rise_v o_o thou_o my_o dear_a creator_n that_o i_o have_v something_o of_o worth_n and_o substance_n which_o i_o may_v recount_v and_o present_a to_o thou_o among_o so_o many_o sin_n of_o i_o since_o i_o be_o command_v to_o relate_v those_o great_a favour_n which_o i_o have_v receive_v from_o thou_o it_o be_v true_a o_o my_o lord_n and_o my_o god_n that_o i_o know_v not_o how_o this_o hart_n of_o i_o can_v endure_v it_o not_o how_o any_o creature_n who_o shall_v ever_o read_v this_o story_n can_v fail_v to_o abhor_v i_o when_o he_o see_v such_o immense_a favour_n as_o thou_o so_o ill_o acknowledge_v and_o thyself_o so_o ill_o serve_v for_o they_o and_o that_o i_o be_o no_o more_o ashamed_a to_o relate_v in_o fine_a these_o little_a service_n as_o if_o they_o be_v i_o and_o yet_o o_o my_o dear_a lord_n i_o be_o ashamed_a but_o only_o my_o not_o have_v any_o thing_n else_o to_o recount_v with_o any_o colour_n of_o be_v my_o own_o make_v i_o unfold_v these_o so_o base_a beginning_n of_o i_o to_o the_o end_n that_o whosoever_o may_v have_v lay_v his_o own_o more_o solid_o and_o substantial_o up_o for_o thy_o service_n may_v well_o have_v good_a hope_n by_o the_o mean_n since_o he_o who_o have_v vouchsafe_v to_o accept_v my_o poor_a beginning_n in_o part_n of_o payment_n will_v certain_o receive_v those_o other_o better_a which_o be_v great_a i_o humble_o beseech_v his_o divine_a majesty_n to_o give_v i_o grace_n at_o length_n that_o i_o may_v not_o still_o continue_v in_o these_o thing_n which_o be_v but_o beginning_n amen_o the_o two_o and_o thirty_o chapter_n she_o treat_v howit_n please_v our_o lord_n to_o put_v she_o in_o spirit_n into_o a_o place_n of_o hell_n which_o she_o say_v she_o have_v deserve_v for_o her_o sin_n she_o relate_v what_o be_v represent_v to_o she_o there_o
may_v hope_v from_o those_o terrible_a and_o perpetual_a torment_n since_o that_o time_n as_o i_o be_v say_v there_o be_v nothing_o which_o seem_v not_o easy_a to_o i_o in_o comparison_n of_o one_o moment_n of_o that_o which_o be_v to_o be_v suffer_v there_o and_o i_o be_v in_o a_o very_a great_a wonder_n that_o have_v so_o often_o read_v diverse_a book_n which_o give_v i_o some_o notice_n of_o a_o part_n of_o the_o torment_n of_o hell_n i_o fear_v they_o so_o little_a and_o hold_v they_o in_o so_o small_a account_n consider_v in_o what_o case_n i_o be_v then_o and_o how_o it_o be_v possible_a for_o i_o to_o receive_v contentment_n in_o any_o such_o thing_n as_o final_o be_v to_o carry_v i_o on_o to_o so_o wretched_a a_o place_n as_o that_o be_v be_v thou_o eternal_o bless_v o_o my_o god_n for_o how_o well_o have_v thou_o make_v it_o appear_v that_o thou_o love_v i_o incomparable_o better_a than_o i_o do_v myself_o how_o often_o o_o my_o dear_a lord_n have_v thou_o deliver_v i_o from_o that_o dark_a and_o horrible_a dungeon_n and_o how_o often_o have_v i_o return_v to_o cast_v myself_o in_o thither_o again_o even_o against_o thy_o will_n from_o hence_o also_o i_o get_v a_o facility_n to_o be_v in_o very_o great_a pain_n for_o the_o many_o soul_n of_o these_o lutheran_n which_o be_v condemn_v to_o hell_n and_o especial_o because_o they_o have_v once_o be_v member_n of_o the_o holy_a catholic_a church_n by_o their_o baptism_n i_o gain_v also_o great_a impulse_n to_o do_v good_a to_o soul_n and_o real_o it_o seem_v to_o i_o to_o be_v very_o certain_a that_o for_o the_o save_n of_o any_o of_o they_o from_o so_o grievous_a and_o everlasting_a torment_n i_o can_v suffer_v many_o death_n with_o a_o very_a good_a will_n for_o i_o consider_v that_o if_o we_o see_v a_o person_n in_o this_o world_n who_o we_o love_v undergo_v any_o great_a affliction_n or_o pain_n it_o seem_v that_o even_o our_o natural_a disposition_n invite_v we_o to_o have_v compassion_n of_o the_o case_n and_o so_o much_o as_o that_o pain_n be_v great_a so_o much_o the_o more_o and_o therefore_o now_o to_o see_v a_o soul_n which_o be_v for_o ever_o to_o be_v enchain_v to_o the_o endure_v of_o that_o supreme_a affliction_n and_o misery_n of_o all_o misery_n who_o shall_v be_v able_a to_o bear_v it_o and_o what_o hart_n can_v ever_o brook_v it_o without_o strange_a trouble_n and_o since_o we_o be_v move_v here_o to_o so_o much_o compassion_n of_o man_n who_o misery_n have_v yet_o a_o term_n prefix_v and_o at_o the_o further_a they_o be_v to_o end_v with_o their_o life_n how_o shall_v we_o be_v able_a to_o get_v patience_n for_o think_v of_o the_o infinite_a torment_n of_o those_o other_o consider_v what_o a_o huge_a number_n of_o soul_n the_o devil_n be_v daily_o carry_v into_o hell_n this_o consideration_n also_o make_v i_o desire_v that_o in_o a_o business_n of_o so_o mighty_a importance_n we_o may_v not_o be_v satisfy_v with_o less_o than_o the_o do_v of_o the_o very_a uttermost_a we_o can_v on_o our_o part_n and_o that_o we_o leave_v nothing_o at_o all_o unattempted_a to_o secure_v ourselves_o by_o that_o mean_n and_o i_o humble_o beseech_v our_o bless_a lord_n to_o give_v we_o all_o his_o grace_n for_o this_o purpose_n when_o i_o consider_v that_o howsoever_o i_o be_v former_o most_o wicked_a yet_o have_v i_o some_o little_a care_n to_o ferue_v almighty_a god_n not_o yet_o do_v i_o then_o commit_v certain_a thing_n which_o be_v take_v and_o swallow_v down_o by_o the_o world_n as_o familiar_o as_o to_o turn_v the_o hand_n and_o with_o this_o i_o endure_v huge_a sickness_n and_o i_o do_v it_o with_o that_o great_a patience_n which_o our_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o give_v i_o for_o that_o purpose_n and_o i_o be_v also_o not_o incline_v to_o murmur_v and_o detract_v or_o to_o speak_v hardly_o of_o any_o creature_n nay_o it_o seem_v to_o i_o as_o if_o i_o scarce_o have_v power_n to_o with_o any_o body_n any_o ill_n nor_o be_v i_o covetous_a nor_o envious_a for_o any_o thing_n that_o i_o can_v ever_o remember_v at_o least_o to_o any_o such_o proportion_n as_o may_v result_v to_o the_o great_a offence_n of_o almighty_a god_n and_o some_o other_o thing_n also_o there_o be_v wherein_o though_o i_o be_v very_o wicked_a i_o have_v usual_o the_o fear_n of_o almighty_a god_n before_o i_o and_o yet_o notwithstanding_o all_o this_o i_o see_v where_o the_o devil_n 471._o have_v take_v up_o and_o provide_v my_o lodging_n and_o it_o be_v true_a that_o consider_v what_o my_o fault_n have_v be_v it_o seem_v to_o i_o that_o i_o yet_o deserve_v more_o punishment_n but_o howsoever_o upon_o the_o whole_a matter_n i_o declare_v that_o it_o be_v a_o most_o horrible_a torment_n and_o and_o that_o it_o be_v a_o dangerous_a thing_n that_o the_o soul_n shall_v take_v contentment_n and_o be_v at_o rest_n which_o be_v fall_v every_o minute_n into_o mortal_a sinne._n nay_o rather_o for_o the_o love_n of_o almighty_a god_n let_v we_o remove_v all_o the_o occasion_n thereof_o for_o our_o lord_n will_v help_v we_o all_o as_o he_o have_v do_v i_o and_o i_o humble_o beseech_v his_o divine_a majesty_n not_o to_o give_v over_o to_o hold_v i_o fast_o in_o his_o hand_n least_z if_o he_o do_v i_o return_v to_o fall_v for_o in_o that_o case_n i_o see_v already_o what_o be_v to_o become_v of_o i_o for_o ever_o but_o i_o beseech_v our_o b._n lord_n again_o not_o to_o suffer_v it_o even_o for_o his_o own_o mercy_n sake_n amen_n but_o now_o after_o my_o see_v all_o this_o as_o also_o many_o other_o great_a thing_n and_o secret_n which_o our_o lord_n through_o his_o own_o mercy_n be_v please_v to_o show_v i_o concern_v the_o glory_n which_o be_v design_v in_o the_o next_o life_n for_o the_o good_a and_o the_o torment_n for_o the_o wicked_a and_o i_o procure_v now_o to_o light_v upon_o some_o way_n or_o mean_n whereby_o i_o may_v do_v penance_n for_o so_o much_o ill_a as_o i_o have_v commit_v and_o may_v be_v able_a also_o to_o do_v somewhat_o towards_o the_o obtain_n of_o so_o great_a a_o good_a i_o desire_v even_o to_o fly_v out_o of_o the_o sight_n of_o mankind_n and_o now_o at_o length_n once_o for_o all_o to_o divide_v myself_o from_o the_o world_n and_o to_o part_v from_o it_o and_o my_o hart_n will_v now_o be_v quiet_a no_o long_o but_o yet_o be_v not_o that_o disquiet_n of_o i_o any_o troublesome_a kind_n of_o thing_n but_o rather_o of_o contentment_n and_o gust_n and_o it_o be_v evident_a that_o it_o come_v from_o almighty_a god_n and_o that_o his_o divine_a majesty_n have_v give_v heat_n enough_o to_o this_o soul_n of_o i_o for_o the_o digest_v of_o other_o and_o strong_a meat_n than_o she_o have_v former_o take_v cause_n and_o now_o i_o begin_v to_o consider_v what_o i_o may_v possible_o he_o able_a to_o do_v for_o almighty_a god_n and_o the_o first_o thing_n i_o think_v be_v to_o follow_v that_o first_o call_v which_o his_o divine_a majesty_n have_v give_v i_o to_o lead_v a_o religious_a life_n and_o that_o by_o the_o observance_n of_o my_o rule_n with_o the_o great_a perfection_n that_o i_o can_v practice_v and_o though_o there_o be_v in_o the_o monastery_n wherein_o i_o find_v myself_o at_o that_o time_n many_o servant_n of_o almighty_a god_n by_o who_o he_o be_v very_o much_o serve_v in_o that_o place_n yet_o in_o regard_n they_o want_v temporal_a mean_n many_o of_o the_o religious_a woman_n be_v cast_v into_o a_o kind_n of_o necessity_n to_o go_v abroad_o sometime_o for_o relief_n of_o the_o house_n but_o yet_o they_o do_v it_o so_o as_o to_o pass_v with_o all_o kind_n of_o chastity_n and_o piety_n and_o beside_o that_o house_n be_v not_o found_v according_a to_o the_o first_o rigour_n of_o the_o rule_n but_o only_o the_o same_o rule_n be_v observe_v in_o conformity_n with_o all_o the_o rest_n of_o the_o order_n according_a to_o the_o bull_n of_o relaxation_n and_o dispensation_n there_o be_v also_o some_o other_o inconvenience_n and_o beside_o it_o seem_v to_o i_o that_o the_o place_n be_v of_o much_o regalo_n in_o regard_n that_o it_o be_v both_o large_a and_o pleasant_a but_o especial_o the_o inconvenience_n of_o go_v sometime_o out_o of_o the_o monastery_n be_v grow_v to_o be_v a_o very_a great_a one_o for_o i_o though_o former_o i_o have_v be_v one_o who_o make_v most_o familiar_a use_n of_o it_o myself_o in_o regard_n that_o sometime_o some_o person_n who_o the_o superior_n be_v importune_v can_v not_o well_o refuse_v take_v contentment_n that_o i_o shall_v accompany_v they_o who_o go_v abroad_o and_o by_o this_o mean_n according_a to_o the_o use_n which_o be_v hold_v i_o may_v grow_v by_o degree_n to_o remain_v very_o
whilst_o i_o find_v myself_o in_o that_o condition_n i_o be_v apparel_v with_o a_o certain_a lord_n garment_n of_o much_o whiteness_n and_o clearness_n and_o at_o the_o first_o i_o can_v not_o tell_v who_o it_o be_v that_o clothe_v i_o but_o afterward_o i_o see_v our_o b._n lady_n on_o the_o right_a hand_n and_o my_o father_n s._n joseph_n on_o the_o left_a who_o apparel_v i_o then_o with_o that_o robe_n and_o it_o be_v give_v i_o to_o be_v understand_v that_o i_o be_v now_o grow_v to_o be_v cleanse_v from_o my_o sin_n when_o thus_o i_o be_v apparel_v and_o find_v myself_o full_a of_o joy_n and_o glory_n it_o instant_o seem_v to_o i_o that_o our_o b._n lady_n lay_v hold_v upon_o i_o and_o tell_v i_o that_o it_o content_v she_o much_o to_o see_v i_o serve_v the_o glorious_a s._n joseph_n that_o i_o be_v to_o believe_v that_o what_o i_o pretend_v concern_v the_o monastery_n shall_v be_v effect_v and_o that_o our_o lord_n and_o they_o two_o will_v be_v much_o serve_v there_o that_o i_o must_v not_o be_v afraid_a that_o ever_o there_o will_v be_v any_o fail_v therein_o howsoever_o some_o commandment_n which_o may_v fall_v out_o to_o be_v impose_v upon_o i_o will_v not_o be_v according_a to_o my_o gust_n for_o even_o themselves_o in_o fine_a will_v defend_v and_o keep_v we_o that_o her_o son_n have_v already_o promise_v that_o he_o will_v be_v and_o remain_v with_o we_o and_o in_o testimony_n that_o all_o this_o shall_v prove_v true_a she_o cast_v a_o fair_a and_o bright_a chain_n of_o gold_n about_o my_o neck_n with_o a_o cross_n fasten_v to_o it_o of_o great_a value_n but_o this_o gold_n and_o these_o precious_a stone_n be_v so_o very_o different_a from_o those_o of_o this_o world_n that_o there_o be_v no_o manner_n of_o comparison_n between_o they_o for_o the_o beauty_n of_o these_o be_v far_o other_o than_o any_o thing_n which_o we_o can_v imagine_v here_o nor_o do_v humane_a understanding_n arrive_v to_o know_v of_o what_o the_o garment_n be_v make_v nor_o how_o to_o fancy_v that_o clear_a whiteness_n to_o itself_o which_o our_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o represent_v for_o all_o that_o of_o this_o inferior_a world_n be_v no_o better_o than_o a_o kind_n of_o scratch_n with_o a_o coal_n as_o a_o man_n may_v say_v in_o respect_n of_o the_o other_o the_o beauty_n also_o which_o i_o see_v in_o our_o b._n lady_n be_v excessive_a though_o yet_o i_o can_v not_o determine_v the_o form_n or_o figure_n of_o any_o particular_a part_n which_o i_o may_v assign_v she_o but_o only_o the_o frame_n and_o air_n of_o the_o whole_a face_n together_o she_o be_v apparel_v in_o white_a with_o excess_n of_o splendour_n but_o yet_o of_o no_o such_o kind_n as_o dazzle_v but_o most_o dear_o sweet_a as_o for_o the_o glorious_a s._n joseph_n i_o see_v not_o he_o so_o clear_o though_o yet_o i_o well_o perceive_v that_o he_o be_v there_o like_o those_o vision_n whereof_o i_o speak_v which_o be_v not_o see_v our_o b._n lady_n be_v extraordinaty_o young_a and_o she_o remain_v with_o i_o a_o very_a little_a while_n and_o i_o have_v excessive_a glory_n and_o gust_n by_o it_o and_o more_o in_o my_o opinion_n than_o ever_o i_o have_v enjoy_v before_o and_o i_o will_v certain_o have_v be_v glad_a enough_o if_o i_o may_v never_o have_v leave_v it_o it_o seem_v to_o i_o that_o i_o see_v they_o both_o ascend_v to_o heaven_n with_o a_o very_a great_a multitude_n of_o angel_n and_o i_o the_o while_n remain_v in_o much_o solitude_n though_o yet_o withal_o so_o comfort_v and_o elevate_v and_o even_o dissolve_v and_o recollect_v in_o prayer_n that_o i_o remain_v for_o some_o space_n of_o time_n in_o such_o sort_n as_o not_o to_o be_v able_a either_o to_o speak_v or_o stir_v but_o i_o be_v whole_o as_o it_o be_v out_o of_o myself_o and_o i_o continue_v with_o a_o great_a impulse_n of_o desire_n to_o be_v even_o as_o it_o be_v annihilate_v for_o almighty_a god_n and_o i_o find_v also_o such_o effect_n thereof_o and_o the_o whole_a passed-on_a in_o such_o sort_n as_o that_o i_o be_v never_o able_a though_o i_o endeavour_v much_o to_o doubt_v but_o that_o this_o visitation_n be_v of_o almighty_a god_n the_o queen_n of_o the_o angel_n leave_v i_o topp-full_a of_o comfort_n and_o of_o profound_a peace_n by_o what_o she_o say_v to_o i_o of_o obedience_n and_o the_o case_n be_v this_o for_o my_o part_n i_o be_v very_o unwilling_a not_o to_o give_v this_o house_n up_o to_o the_o order_n and_o indeed_o our_o lord_n himself_o have_v tell_v i_o that_o it_o be_v not_o fit_a that_o they_o shall_v have_v it_o and_o he_o also_o deliver_v i_o the_o reason_n why_o it_o be_v not_o by_o any_o mean_n fit_a but_o that_o i_o shall_v send_v about_o it_o to_o rome_n by_o a_o certain_a way_n and_o he_o also_o make_v i_o know_v that_o he_o will_v cause_v it_o to_o be_v dispatch_v from_o thence_o and_o so_o it_o be_v and_o it_o be_v send_v by_o that_o very_a mean_n whereof_o our_o lord_n have_v tell_v i_o but_o we_o shall_v never_o have_v final_o be_v able_a to_o dispatch_v it_o of_o ourselves_o and_o upon_o the_o occasion_n which_o succeed_v afterward_o it_o be_v very_o fit_a that_o it_o shall_v be_v submit_v by_o way_n of_o obedience_n to_o the_o bishop_n yet_o then_o i_o know_v he_o not_o nor_o understand_v what_o kind_n of_o prelate_n he_o be_v but_o our_o lord_n be_v please_v that_o he_o shall_v be_v so_o good_a and_o shall_v favour_v this_o house_n as_o much_o as_o be_v fit_a yea_o and_o even_o necessary_a for_o the_o encounter_v of_o that_o great_a contradiction_n which_o occur_v herein_o as_o i_o shall_v declare_v afterward_o and_o to_o put_v it_o into_o that_o state_n wherein_o now_o it_o be_v and_o let_v he_o be_v ever_o bless_v who_o have_v so_o dispose_v of_o all_o amen_n the_o four_o and_o thirty_o chapter_n she_o declare_v how_o at_o this_o time_n she_o be_v necessary_o to_o go_v from_o that_o place_n and_o she_o show_v the_o cause_n thereof_o and_o how_o her_o superior_a command_v she_o to_o go_v for_o the_o comfort_n of_o a_o certain_a lady_n who_o be_v much_o afflict_v she_o begin_v to_o treat_v of_o that_o which_o happen_v to_o she_o there_o and_o of_o the_o great_a favour_n which_o it_o please_v our_o lord_n to_o do_v by_o her_o mean_n in_o stirring-up_a a_o very_a principal_a person_n to_o do_v he_o great_a service_n and_o how_o afterward_o she_o receive_v much_o favour_n and_o protection_n from_o he_o this_o be_v a_o admirable_a discourse_n and_o very_o much_o to_o be_v note_v but_o notwithstanding_o all_o the_o care_n i_o take_v that_o man_n may_v not_o know_v what_o we_o be_v do_v this_o whole_a business_n can_v not_o be_v carry_v with_o so_o much_o secrecy_n but_o that_o many_o must_v needs_o understand_v it_o and_o some_o of_o they_o do_v believe_v it_o and_o other_o not_o for_o my_o part_n i_o be_v hearty_o afraid_a that_o if_o the_o provincial_n shall_v come_v and_o they_o chance_v to_o tell_v he_o of_o it_o he_o will_v command_v i_o to_o give_v it_o over_o and_o then_o the_o whole_a design_n will_v be_v at_o a_o end_n but_o our_o lord_n ordain_v thing_n in_o such_o sort_n that_o about_o à _fw-fr matter_n of_o twenty_o league_n off_o it_o occur_v that_o there_o be_v a_o certain_a lady_n very_o much_o afflict_v by_o the_o death_n of_o her_o husband_n and_o she_o find_v herself_o in_o such_o extremity_n thereby_o that_o her_o health_n be_v much_o concern_v and_o fear_v now_o she_o have_v get_v some_o notice_n of_o herself_o this_o miserable_a poor_a wretched_a sinner_n for_o it_o seem_v that_o our_o lord_n have_v ordain_v already_o that_o they_o shall_v speak_v well_o of_o i_o in_o her_o hear_n for_o the_o effect_n of_o other_o good_a thing_n which_o depend_v upon_o this_o this_o lady_n be_v very_o well_o acquaint_v with_o this_o provincial_n and_o he_o consider_v what_o a_o principal_a person_n she_o be_v and_o that_o i_o be_v in_o a_o monastery_n which_o keep_v not_o clausure_n our_o lord_n give_v she_o so_o great_a a_o desire_n to_o see_v i_o as_o conceave_a that_o she_o shall_v receive_v comfort_n by_o my_o mean_n that_o it_o be_v almost_o no_o long_o now_o in_o her_o power_n not_o instant_o to_o procure_v by_o all_o possible_a endeavour_n to_o get_v i_o thither_o and_o so_o she_o send_v to_o the_o provincial_n who_o be_v very_o far_o off_o at_o that_o time_n and_o according_o he_o also_o send_v i_o a_o express_a commandment_n under_o obedience_n that_o forthwith_o i_o shall_v transport_v myself_o thither_o with_o a_o companion_n now_o i_o come_v to_o know_v of_o this_o upon_o a_o christmasse-day_n at_o night_n and_o it_o put_v i_o into_o much_o disorder_n and_o give_v i_o a_o great_a deal_n of_o pain_n
to_o find_v that_o they_o resolve_v to_o carry_v i_o away_o as_o conceave_a that_o there_o be_v some_o goodness_n in_o i_o for_o consider_v how_o wicked_a i_o know_v myself_o to_o be_v i_o can_v by_o no_o mean_n endure_v it_o but_o so_o recommend_v myself_o much_o to_o almighty_a god_n i_o remain_v during_o all_o the_o time_n of_o matin_n or_o at_o least_o the_o far_o large_a part_n thereof_o in_o a_o very_a great_a rapt_v our_o lord_n declare_v to_o i_o then_o that_o i_o shall_v not_o fail_v to_o go_v and_o that_o i_o be_v not_o to_o harken_v to_o the_o opinion_n of_o other_o for_o few_o will_v think_v without_o rashness_n that_o they_o can_v advise_v i_o to_o go_v but_o that_o howsoever_o the_o journey_n may_v be_v of_o much_o trouble_n to_o i_o yet_o that_o he_o will_v be_v great_o serve_v thereby_o and_o that_o it_o will_v be_v also_o very_o convenient_a that_o i_o shall_v absent_v myself_o from_o hence_o till_o the_o breve_fw-la be_v come_v because_o the_o devil_n have_v a_o great_a plot_n provide_v against_o the_o time_n when_o the_o provincial_n shall_v be_v there_o but_o yet_o that_o i_o must_v be_v afraid_a of_o nothing_o for_o that_o in_o fine_a he_o shall_v assist_v i_o in_o the_o business_n upon_o this_o i_o be_v much_o comfort_v and_o encourage_v and_o i_o relate_v the_o whole_a story_n to_o the_o rectour_n who_o tell_v i_o that_o i_o must_v by_o no_o mean_n forbear_v to_o go_v but_o other_o say_v that_o i_o must_v not_o do_v it_o by_o any_o mean_n and_o that_o it_o be_v but_o a_o invention_n of_o the_o devil_n to_o the_o end_n that_o some_o mischief_n may_v happen_v to_o i_o and_o that_o my_o best_a way_n will_v be_v to_o reply_v upon_o the_o provincial_n but_o i_o obey_v the_o rectour_n and_o consider_v also_o what_o have_v pass_v in_o prayer_n i_o begin_v my_o journey_n without_o fear_n but_o yet_o not_o without_o extreme_a confusion_n to_o consider_v under_o what_o title_n and_o occasion_n they_o call_v for_o i_o and_o find_v how_o much_o they_o be_v deceive_v it_o make_v i_o even_o importune_v our_o bless_a lord_n so_o much_o the_o more_o not_o to_o forsake_v i_o now_o it_o comfort_v i_o extreme_o that_o there_o be_v in_o that_o place_n whither_o i_o be_v go_v a_o college_n of_o the_o society_n of_o jesus_n and_o that_o i_o may_v be_v subject_a to_o that_o wherein_o they_o shall_v direct_v i_o when_o i_o be_v there_o for_o by_o this_o mean_n i_o conceive_v that_o i_o be_v to_o be_v in_o a_o kind_n of_o safety_n but_o when_o i_o arrive_v there_o our_o bless_a lord_n be_v please_v that_o the_o lady_n shall_v receive_v so_o much_o comfort_n that_o her_o amendment_n be_v quick_o see_v for_o she_o be_v every_o day_n better_a and_o better_o and_o this_o be_v the_o more_o esteem_v because_o as_o i_o say_v before_o the_o pain_n wherein_o she_o be_v do_v hold_v she_o in_o great_a difficulty_n and_o straits_n and_o it_o be_v likely_a that_o our_o lord_n grant_v her_o ease_n at_o the_o instance_n of_o the_o many_o prayer_n which_o certain_a holy_a person_n who_o i_o know_v do_v make_v in_o my_o behalf_n that_o so_o all_o may_v succeed_v happy_o to_o i_o she_o have_v also_o even_o in_o herself_o a_o great_a fear_n of_o almighty_a god_n and_o be_v so_o full_a of_o virtue_n and_o goodness_n that_o her_o much_o christianity_n and_o piety_n supply_v for_o that_o which_o be_v want_v in_o i_o now_o she_o grow_v into_o a_o great_a love_n of_o i_o and_o i_o remain_v not_o a_o whitt_n in_o her_o debt_n when_o i_o see_v her_o goodness_n but_o yet_o in_o effect_n even_o all_o be_v trouble_v to_o i_o there_o for_o the_o regalo_n which_o they_o give_v i_o be_v no_o less_o than_o so_o many_o torment_n to_o i_o and_o their_o make_v so_o much_o account_n of_o i_o as_o they_o show_v do_v put_v i_o into_o a_o great_a deal_n of_o fear_n i_o therefore_o carry_v my_o soul_n so_o restrain_v and_o so_o retire_v within_o myself_o that_o i_o dare_v not_o be_v any_o way_n careless_a in_o that_o kind_n and_o so_o also_o be_v not_o our_o lord_n unmindful_a of_o i_o for_o he_o do_v i_o whilst_o i_o be_v there_o most_o excessive_a favour_n and_o they_o endue_v i_o with_o so_o true_a and_o so_o great_a liberty_n of_o spirit_n as_o to_o make_v i_o undervalue_v &_o despise_v all_o those_o testimony_n of_o estimation_n &_o honour_n which_o i_o find_v there_o &_o the_o more_o the_o more_o and_o so_o as_o that_o i_o fail_v not_o to_o treat_v with_o those_o lady_n who_o be_v so_o great_a with_o as_o much_o liberty_n as_o if_o i_o have_v be_v equal_a to_o they_o whereas_o yet_o they_o be_v of_o such_o quality_n that_o i_o may_v without_o any_o dishonour_n at_o all_o to_o myself_o have_v be_v even_o their_o domestic_a servant_n i_o draw_v a_o great_a advantage_n and_o benefit_n from_o thence_o and_o so_o i_o tell_v she_o i_o find_v that_o she_o be_v subject_a to_o some_o weakness_n and_o passion_n as_o myself_o be_o and_o how_o little_a she_o be_v in_o reason_n to_o esteem_v her_o greatness_n and_o power_n which_o still_o the_o more_o it_o be_v so_o much_o the_o more_o trouble_n and_o care_n it_o draw_v after_o it_o and_o they_o be_v fain_o to_o take_v such_o thought_n for_o live_v in_o such_o a_o form_n and_o method_n as_o be_v fit_a forsooth_o for_o their_o greatness_n and_o rank_n that_o upon_o the_o matter_n it_o scarce_o give_v they_o leave_v to_o live_v for_o they_o eat_v out_o of_o time_n and_o out_o of_o order_n because_o all_o forsooth_o must_v go_v in_o conformity_n to_o the_o state_n which_o they_o hold_v and_o not_o with_o any_o regard_n to_o their_o constitution_n and_o health_n nay_o sometime_o they_o must_v feed_v upon_o such_o meat_n as_o be_v more_o agreeable_a to_o their_o greatness_n then_o to_o their_o gust_n and_o so_o as_o that_o for_o my_o part_n i_o whole_o abhor_v so_o much_o as_o even_o to_o desire_v to_o be_v a_o great_a lady_n god_n deliver_v i_o from_o such_o ill-favoured_a gravity_n and_o greatness_n as_o this_o for_o though_o the_o lady_n of_o who_o i_o speak_v be_v one_o of_o the_o great_a of_o this_o kingdom_n and_o i_o believe_v there_o be_v few_o more_o humble_a and_o more_o affable_a than_o she_o yet_o real_o i_o have_v and_o have_v compassion_n of_o she_o to_o see_v how_o she_o pass_v many_o time_n not_o in_o conformity_n even_o so_o much_o as_o with_o her_o own_o inclination_n but_o to_o comply_v with_o her_o condition_n for_o even_o in_o point_n of_o servant_n there_o be_v very_o little_a trust_n to_o be_v repose_v and_o though_o she_o have_v they_o good_a yet_o must_v she_o not_o speak_v more_o confident_o and_o kind_o to_o one_o of_o they_o then_o to_o another_o and_o if_o she_o do_v whosoever_o be_v most_o favour_a by_o she_o must_v be_v sure_a to_o be_v less_o belove_v by_o other_o in_o fine_a this_o greatness_n be_v a_o great_a subjection_n and_o indeed_o one_o of_o the_o great_a lie_n which_o ever_o the_o world_n can_v tell_v be_v when_o it_o call_v such_o person_n as_o these_o lord_n and_o lady_n for_o as_o for_o i_o they_o all_o seem_v to_o be_v no_o other_o thing_n then_o even_o slave_n and_o that_o a_o thousand_o time_n over_o our_o lord_n be_v please_v at_o that_o time_n whilst_o i_o remain_v with_o that_o lady_n in_o her_o house_n that_o the_o domestics_n also_o there_o improve_v much_o in_o the_o service_n of_o his_o divine_a majesty_n though_o yet_o for_o my_o part_n i_o be_v not_o free_a from_o some_o trouble_n yea_o and_o certain_a envy_n also_o which_o be_v express_v to_o my_o disadvantage_n by_o certain_a person_n in_o regard_n of_o the_o great_a affection_n which_o that_o lady_n bear_v i_o and_o perhaps_o they_o be_v so_o ill_o advise_v as_o to_o imagine_v that_o i_o have_v some_o thought_n of_o interest_n by_o what_o i_o do_v but_o our_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o permit_v that_o they_o shall_v give_v i_o some_o few_o little_a trouble_n both_o in_o this_o kind_n and_o also_o in_o other_o lest_o else_o i_o may_v perhaps_o have_v grow_v to_o be_v intoxicate_v by_o the_o regalo_n which_o be_v vouchsafe_v to_o i_o on_o the_o other_o side_n but_o he_o be_v please_v to_o fetch_v i_o out_o of_o all_o those_o accident_n and_o adventure_n with_o the_o advantage_n and_o improvement_n of_o my_o own_o soul_n whilst_o yet_o i_o remain_v there_o a_o certain_a religious_a man_n and_o a_o very_a eminent_a person_n with_o who_o i_o have_v treat_v sometime_o though_o it_o be_v main_a year_n before_o do_v chance_n to_o arrive_v in_o that_o place_n and_o i_o be_v one_o day_n at_o mass_n in_o a_o monastery_n of_o his_o order_n which_o be_v near_o to_o the_o place_n where_o i_o keep_v be_v take_v with_o a_o
kind_n of_o inclination_n to_o know_v in_o what_o condition_n or_o state_n that_o soul_n be_v for_o i_o desire_v that_o he_o may_v be_v a_o very_a great_a servant_n of_o almighty_a god_n i_o rise_v then_o from_o sit_v where_o i_o be_v that_o so_o i_o may_v be_v go_v towards_o he_o but_o yet_o have_v be_v already_o recollect_v in_o prayer_n it_o seem_v to_o i_o then_o afterward_o that_o it_o will_v be_v no_o better_o then_o lose_v time_n and_o what_o forsooth_o have_v i_o to_o do_v with_o he_o and_o so_o i_o then_o dispose_v myself_o to_o sit_v down_o again_o and_o as_o i_o now_o remember_v i_o do_v the_o very_a same_o thing_n no_o less_o than_o three_o several_a time_n in_o fine_a the_o good_a angel_n be_v strong_a than_o the_o ill_a and_o i_o go_v and_o require_v he_o to_o be_v call_v and_o so_o he_o come_v i_o than_o begin_v to_o ask_v he_o diverse_a question_n as_o he_o do_v i_o because_o many_o year_n have_v slip_v away_o since_o we_o meet_v last_o concern_v the_o several_a life_n of_o one_o another_o and_o i_o begin_v to_o tell_v he_o that_o as_o for_o i_o it_o have_v be_v subject_a to_o many_o affliction_n of_o mind_n upon_o this_o he_o press_v much_o to_o know_v what_o those_o affliction_n may_v be_v and_o i_o tell_v he_o that_o it_o be_v neither_o great_o pertinent_a to_o be_v know_v nor_o very_o fit_a for_o i_o to_o relate_v but_o he_o reply_v that_o since_o the_o father_n of_o s._n dominick_n order_n know_v they_o that_o father_n who_o i_o have_v affirm_v to_o be_v so_o much_o his_o friend_n will_v present_o let_v he_o know_v they_o and_o therefore_o that_o i_o need_v not_o trouble_v myself_o to_o relate_v they_o but_o in_o fine_a the_o case_n grow_v to_o be_v this_o that_o neither_o be_v it_o in_o his_o power_n to_o forbear_v to_o importune_v i_o nor_o in_o i_o to_o forbear_v to_o declare_v myself_o herein_o to_o he_o for_o with_o all_o that_o trouble_n and_o shame_n which_o i_o use_v to_o have_v whensoever_o there_o be_v discourse_n of_o thing_n like_o this_o yet_o when_o i_o treat_v of_o they_o with_o this_o man_n and_o with_o the_o rectour_n also_o of_o the_o society_n of_o who_o i_o speak_v before_o it_o put_v i_o to_o no_o trouble_n at_o all_o but_o rather_o it_o be_v of_o comfort_n to_o i_o i_o therefore_o unfold_v myself_o to_o he_o but_o yet_o under_o the_o seal_n of_o confession_n and_o i_o thought_n he_o be_v more_o advise_v then_o ever_o though_o i_o always_o hold_v he_o to_o be_v a_o man_n of_o very_o great_a understanding_n i_o consider_v the_o many_o talent_n and_o part_n he_o have_v wherewith_o to_o do_v a_o huge_a deal_n of_o good_a if_o he_o will_v give_v himself_o entire_o to_o almighty_a god_n and_o it_o be_v true_a that_o i_o have_v have_v this_o quality_n for_o diverse_a of_o these_o latter_a year_n that_o i_o can_v see_v any_o creature_n who_o content_v i_o much_o of_o but_o i_o must_v instant_o desire_v to_o have_v he_o whole_o give_v to_o almighty_a god_n and_o i_o wish_v it_o even_o with_o such_o a_o extremity_n of_o appetite_n that_o i_o know_v not_o almost_o in_o those_o case_n what_o to_o do_v with_o myself_o and_o though_o it_o be_v very_o true_a that_o i_o will_v fain_o have_v all_o the_o world_n do_v he_o service_n yet_o i_o desire_v with_o very_o great_a impulse_n and_o even_o impetuositie_n that_o the_o person_n who_o please_v i_o best_o shall_v do_v it_o most_o and_o so_o i_o often_o use_v to_o importune_v our_o lord_n extreme_o in_o their_o behalf_n but_o as_o for_o that_o religious_a man_n of_o who_o i_o be_v speak_v he_o beseech_v i_o that_o i_o will_v recommend_v he_o earnest_o to_o almighty_a god_n but_o that_o be_v more_o than_o need_v for_o already_o i_o be_v so_o go_v with_o the_o man_n that_o i_o can_v not_o possible_o do_v otherwise_o and_o so_o i_o go_v to_o the_o place_n where_o i_o be_v accustom_v to_o put_v myself_o in_o prayer_n all_o alone_a and_o be_v then_o in_o deep_a recollection_n i_o begin_v to_o deal_v with_o our_o bless_a lord_n and_o it_o be_v in_o a_o stile_n so_o very_o familiar_a that_o it_o be_v even_o half_a foolish_a for_o i_o treat_v with_o he_o many_o time_n without_o know_v almost_o distinct_o what_o i_o say_v for_o then_o it_o be_v not_o so_o proper_o my_o person_n as_o my_o love_n which_o speak_v and_o the_o soul_n be_v so_o alienate_v even_o from_o herself_o that_o i_o scarce_o discern_v the_o difference_n which_o then_o there_o be_v between_o almighty_a god_n and_o i_o for_o the_o great_a love_n which_o my_o soul_n know_v that_o his_o divine_a majesty_n bear_v she_o make_v she_o forget_v what_o she_o be_v in_o herself_o as_o conceave_a that_o she_o be_v then_o in_o he_o and_o so_o as_o if_o both_o she_o and_o he_o be_v one_o and_o the_o selfsame_a thing_n without_o division_n or_o distinction_n she_o utter_v but_o impertinency_n and_o roaving_n i_o remember_v that_o i_o tell_v he_o thus_o much_o after_o i_o have_v beg_v of_o he_o with_o abundance_n of_o tear_n that_o the_o soul_n of_o that_o religious_a man_n may_v apply_v itself_o to_o his_o service_n in_o great_a earnest_n that_o although_o i_o hold_v he_o already_o for_o good_a yet_o that_o will_v not_o serve_v my_o turn_n for_o i_o must_v have_v he_o very_o good_a and_o according_o i_o say_v further_o thus_o in_o plain_a term_n o_o lord_n thou_o must_v not_o deny_v i_o this_o favour_n but_o consider_v that_o this_o man_n will_v be_v very_o fit_a to_o make_v afreind_n for_o we_o both_o o_o great_a humanity_n and_o bounty_n of_o almighty_a god_n nor_o do_v he_o so_o much_o consider_v our_o word_n but_o the_o desire_n and_o affection_n wherewith_o they_o be_v speak_v but_o now_o how_o can_v he_o come_v to_o endure_v that_o such_o a_o miserable_a creature_n as_o i_o shall_v speak_v to_o his_o divine_a majesty_n with_o so_o much_o boldness_n but_o let_v he_o be_v bless_v for_o ever_o the_o while_n i_o remember_v well_o that_o in_o those_o hour_n of_o prayer_n wherein_o i_o exercise_v myself_o that_o night_n our_o lord_n give_v i_o a_o great_a affliction_n by_o my_o doubt_n whether_o i_o be_v in_o his_o favour_n but_o now_o i_o desire_v not_o so_o much_o to_o know_v that_o as_o i_o do_v even_o desire_v to_o die_v rather_o than_o to_o continue_v in_o such_o a_o life_n as_o wherein_o i_o may_v not_o be_v sure_a whether_o i_o be_v dead_a or_o no._n for_o it_o be_v not_o possible_a for_o i_o to_o endure_v a_o sharp_a death_n then_o to_o think_v that_o i_o have_v offend_v almighty_a god_n and_o this_o pain_n put_v i_o into_o such_o straits_n that_o be_v all_o regaled_a as_o i_o be_v and_o even_o melt_v and_o dissolve_v in_o tear_n i_o humble_o beseech_v his_o divine_a majesty_n that_o he_o will_v not_o permit_v it_o and_o so_o i_o come_v then_o to_o understand_v that_o i_o may_v well_o be_v comfort_v and_o confide_v that_o i_o be_v in_o state_n of_o grace_n for_o that_o such_o love_n of_o almighty_a god_n and_o the_o impart_v of_o such_o favour_n and_o feeling_n as_o his_o divine_a majesty_n vouchsafe_v to_o i_o be_v not_o compatible_a with_o any_o such_o soul_n as_o shall_v be_v in_o mortal_a sinne._n but_o in_o the_o mean_a time_n i_o grow_v into_o a_o kind_n of_o assure_a hope_n that_o our_o lord_n will_v grant_v the_o thing_n to_o that_o other_o person_n which_o i_o humble_o beg_v at_o his_o hand_n he_o command_v i_o also_o to_o deliver_v certain_a word_n to_o he_o but_o at_o this_o indeed_o i_o be_v trouble_v much_o as_o not_o know_v how_o i_o shall_v be_v able_a to_o utter_v they_o for_o the_o point_n of_o carry_v a_o message_n to_o a_o three_o person_n in_o such_o sort_n as_o i_o be_v say_v be_v a_o thing_n which_o do_v always_o afflict_v i_o especial_o when_o i_o know_v not_o how_o it_o will_v be_v take_v or_o whether_o the_o person_n will_v not_o laugh_v at_o i_o for_o my_o labour_n this_o put_v i_o to_o a_o great_a deal_n of_o trouble_n but_o yet_o in_o fine_a i_o think_v i_o be_v so_o far_o persuade_v as_o to_o promise_v almighty_a god_n that_o i_o will_v not_o forbear_v to_o impart_v they_o and_o through_o the_o great_a confusion_n and_o shame_n wherein_o i_o be_v i_o hart_n write_v they_o and_o so_o deliver_v they_o to_o he_o and_o now_o this_o well_o appear_v to_o be_v a_o action_n of_o almighty_a god_n by_o the_o great_a effect_n it_o wrought_v for_o he_o resolve_v to_o give_v himself_o to_o prayer_n after_o very_o a_o serious_a manner_n though_o yet_o he_o do_v it_o not_o so_o very_o soon_o but_o yet_o our_o lord_n design_v to_o make_v he_o whole_o his_o own_o be_v please_v to_o declare_v certain_a truth_n to_o he_o by_o my_o mean_n
which_o howsoever_o i_o understand_v they_o not_o myself_o do_v yet_o fall_v out_o so_o fit_o for_o he_o that_o he_o be_v even_o amaze_v and_o our_o lord_n dispose_v he_o to_o believe_v that_o they_o come_v from_o his_o divine_a majesty_n and_o i_o on_o the_o other_o side_n though_o i_o be_v that_o poor_a miserable_a creature_n which_o i_o be_o do_v humble_o and_o earnest_o beseech_v our_o lord_n that_o he_o will_v perfect_o and_o entire_o convert_v that_o man_n to_o himself_o and_o make_v he_o abhor_v all_o the_o contentment_n and_o creature_n of_o this_o life_n and_o so_o for_o which_o let_v he_o be_v bless_v for_o ever_o he_o have_v be_v please_v to_o do_v it_o and_o that_o in_o so_o very_o perfect_a a_o manner_n that_o whensoever_o this_o servant_n of_o he_o be_v speak_v to_o i_o it_o make_v i_o in_o effect_n turn_v half_a fool_n and_o if_o i_o have_v not_o see_v it_o with_o my_o very_a eye_n i_o shall_v hold_v it_o for_o a_o doubtful_a thing_n how_o favour_n can_v possible_o be_v heaped-up_a so_o very_o high_a upon_o a_o creature_n in_o so_o short_a a_o time_n and_o shall_v hold_v he_o so_o busy_o and_o continual_o employ_v upon_o almighty_a god_n that_o already_o he_o seem_v not_o to_o live_v for_o the_o use_n of_o any_o thing_n of_o this_o world_n i_o humble_o beseech_v his_o divine_a majesty_n to_o keep_v he_o in_o his_o protection_n still_o for_o certain_o if_o he_o proceed_v after_o this_o rate_n as_o i_o hope_v in_o our_o lord_n he_o will_v his_o spirit_n be_v so_o deep_o root_v in_o the_o knowledge_n of_o himself_o he_o will_v grow_v to_o be_v of_o the_o most_o eminent_a servant_n he_o have_v and_o will_v be_v able_a to_o do_v good_a to_o many_o soul_n for_o he_o have_v get_v great_a experience_n concern_v thing_n of_o spirit_n in_o a_o very_a short_a time_n and_o these_o be_v gift_n which_o almighty_a god_n impart_v when_o and_o how_o he_o will_v without_o any_o precise_a respect_n either_o to_o the_o time_n which_o have_v be_v spend_v or_o else_o to_o the_o quality_n of_o the_o service_n i_o say_v not_o yet_o but_o that_o this_o may_v also_o import_v much_o but_o that_o our_o lord_n forbear_v sometime_o to_o give_v that_o to_o a_o person_n in_o twenty_o year_n of_o contemplation_n which_o yet_o he_o forbear_v not_o to_o bestow_v upon_o some_o other_o in_o one_o our_o lord_n know_v the_o reason_n of_o this_o and_o it_o be_v also_o a_o deceitful_a error_n which_o abuse_v we_o when_o it_o seem_v we_o may_v understand_v and_o obtain_v that_o by_o account_n of_o year_n which_o can_v by_o no_o mean_n be_v have_v without_o experience_n of_o the_o very_a thing_n as_o they_o be_v and_o so_o many_o err_v as_o i_o have_v say_v in_o think_v that_o they_o be_v fit_a to_o judge_v of_o spirit_n without_o have_v any_o themselves_o i_o say_v not_o but_o that_o a_o learned_a man_n though_o he_o have_v no_o great_a knowledge_n of_o spirit_n may_v govern_v another_o man_n who_o have_v spirit_n but_o this_o be_v to_o be_v understand_v both_o in_o the_o exterior_a and_o in_o the_o interior_a way_n so_o far_o as_o it_o may_v carry_v a_o conformity_n with_o the_o natural_a power_n by_o the_o work_n of_o his_o understanding_n and_o as_o for_o those_o thing_n which_o be_v supernatural_a he_o must_v be_v careful_a that_o all_o go_v on_o with_o consent_n to_o holy_a scripture_n and_o for_o the_o rest_n let_v he_o not_o vex_v himself_o nor_o conceive_v that_o he_o understand_v that_o whereof_o indeed_o he_o know_v nothing_o nor_o stifle_v and_o choke_v those_o spirit_n which_o forasmuch_o as_o concern_v these_o thing_n be_v govern_v by_o another_o and_o a_o high_a lord_n for_o in_o fine_a they_o be_v not_o without_o a_o superior_a of_o their_o own_o be_v not_o amaze_v at_o this_o nor_o let_v these_o thing_n seem_v impossible_a to_o you_o for_o all_o be_v very_o possible_a to_o our_o lord_n but_o procure_v you_o to_o reinforce_v your_o faith_n and_o to_o humble_v yourself_o when_o you_o see_v that_o our_o bless_a lord_n know_v how_o to_o make_v a_o poor_a old_a ignorant_a woman_n become_v a_o more_o know_a creature_n perhaps_o in_o this_o science_n than_o he_o who_o may_v be_v otherwise_o a_o very_a learned_a man_n for_o by_o mean_n of_o this_o humility_n one_o shall_v be_v able_a to_o do_v more_o good_a both_o to_o the_o soul_n of_o other_o and_o his_o own_o then_o if_o he_o grow_v to_o be_v contemplative_a without_o that_o virtue_n and_o i_o say_v and_o say_v again_o that_o if_o he_o be_v not_o a_o man_n of_o experience_n or_o if_o at_o least_o he_o have_v not_o very_o abundant_o of_o humility_n wherewith_o to_o understand_v that_o he_o understand_v not_o the_o business_n and_o that_o yet_o it_o be_v not_o impossible_a but_o that_o the_o thing_n in_o question_n may_v be_v true_a he_o shall_v both_o gain_v little_a himself_o and_o enable_v he_o also_o less_o to_o gain_v with_o who_o he_o deal_v but_o on_o the_o other_o side_n if_o he_o have_v humility_n he_o may_v be_v well_o out_o of_o fear_n that_o our_o lord_n will_v ever_o permit_v that_o either_o the_o one_o or_o the_o other_o shall_v be_v deceive_v but_o now_o concern_v this_o father_n of_o who_o i_o speak_v as_o our_o lord_n have_v give_v he_o experience_n in_o many_o thing_n so_o have_v he_o also_o endeavour_v to_o acquire_v all_o that_o which_o may_v be_v get_v by_o study_n in_o this_o kind_n and_o whensoever_o his_o own_o experience_n fall_v short_a he_o inform_v himself_o by_o their_o mean_n who_o have_v more_o and_o here_o our_o lord_n come_v to_o assist_v he_o by_o give_v he_o a_o great_a proportion_n of_o faith_n and_o by_o this_o mean_n he_o have_v do_v very_o much_o good_a both_o to_o his_o own_o soul_n and_o those_o also_o of_o other_o and_o i_o be_v one_o of_o they_o for_o our_o b._n lord_n consider_v the_o many_o affliction_n which_o i_o be_v to_o endure_v it_o seem_v will_v provide_v that_o since_o some_o of_o they_o will_v be_v bring_v upon_o i_o by_o such_o as_o be_v to_o govern_v my_o soul_n there_o yet_o may_v be_v other_o find_v who_o will_v help_v i_o to_o go_v through_o with_o those_o trouble_n and_o assist_v i_o much_o but_o as_o for_o this_o religious_a man_n of_o who_o i_o have_v speak_v so_o much_o our_o lord_n have_v so_o entire_o change_v he_o that_o upon_o the_o matter_n he_o be_v no_o long_o to_o be_v know_v for_o the_o man_n he_o be_v he_o have_v now_o also_o give_v he_o much_o corporal_a strength_n whereby_o he_o be_v now_o enable_v to_o do_v penance_n which_o be_v impossible_a for_o he_o before_z for_o he_o be_v ever_o sickly_a and_o he_o be_v also_o full_a of_o courage_n towards_o the_o perform_n of_o any_o thing_n which_o be_v good_a and_o beside_o he_o have_v variety_n of_o other_o excellent_a thing_n which_o make_v it_o well_o appear_v that_o his_o vocation_n come_v most_o particular_o from_o our_o lord_n and_o let_v he_o be_v bless_v for_o ever_o for_o my_o part_n i_o believe_v that_o all_o this_o good_a be_v come_v to_o he_o by_o the_o favour_n which_o our_o lord_n have_v do_v he_o in_o prayer_n for_o they_o be_v not_o paint_a thing_n or_o put_v loose_o on_o but_o our_o lord_n have_v be_v please_v to_o have_v he_o bring_v to_o the_o touch_n and_o he_o have_v prove_v therein_o as_o one_o who_o understand_v very_o well_o the_o true_a value_n of_o that_o merit_n which_o be_v get_v by_o the_o well_o suffer_v of_o persecution_n and_o i_o trust_v in_o the_o greatness_n of_o our_o lord_n that_o much_o good_a will_v accrue_v to_o some_o of_o his_o order_n by_o his_o mean_n yea_o and_o even_o to_o the_o whole_a order_n itself_o already_o this_o begin_v to_o be_v understand_v and_o myself_o have_v see_v great_a vision_n and_o our_o lord_n have_v tell_v i_o some_o particular_n both_o of_o he_o and_o of_o the_o rectour_n of_o the_o college_n of_o the_o society_n of_o jesus_n of_o who_o i_o speak_v and_o they_o be_v thing_n of_o great_a admiration_n as_o also_o of_o two_o other_o religious_a man_n of_o s._n dominick_n order_n but_o especial_o of_o one_o for_o who_o proceed_v and_o profit_n in_o the_o way_n of_o spirit_n our_o lord_n have_v already_o manifest_v some_o thing_n to_o the_o world_n by_o real_a proof_n i_o have_v also_o hear_v former_o of_o he_o but_o they_o be_v many_o instance_n which_o concern_v the_o person_n of_o who_o i_o speak_v before_o and_o one_o of_o they_o i_o will_v here_o recount_v i_o be_v once_o with_o he_o in_o a_o locutorie_a or_o speaking-place_n of_o a_o monastery_n and_o so_o very_o great_a be_v the_o love_n of_o almighty_a god_n which_o my_o soul_n and_o spirit_n understand_v to_o be_v even_o burn_v in_o his_o that_o i_o be_v even_o as_o it_o be_v
in_o respect_n of_o he_o i_o accuse_v myself_o then_o as_o in_o fault_n yea_o and_o as_o very_o faulty_a and_o so_o i_o make_v no_o doubt_n but_o i_o be_v in_o the_o opinion_n of_o all_o they_o who_o know_v not_o very_o much_o of_o the_o cause_n and_o after_o they_o have_v give_v i_o a_o great_a reprehension_n though_o not_o yet_o with_o so_o much_o rigour_n as_o the_o fault_n may_v seem_v to_o deserve_v and_o as_o many_o of_o they_o tell_v the_o provincial_n that_o i_o have_v commit_v i_o be_v absolute_o for_o my_o part_n resolve_v to_o hold_v on_o this_o course_n and_o so_o i_o rather_o desire_v that_o they_o shall_v pardon_v i_o and_o then_o punish_v i_o if_o they_o will_v but_o by_o no_o mean_n remain_v unkind_a or_o ill-affected_a towards_o i_o in_o some_o thing_n i_o plain_o see_v that_o they_o have_v no_o reason_n at_o all_o against_o i_o but_o that_o they_o condemn_v i_o without_o cause_n as_o when_o they_o say_v i_o have_v do_v whatsoever_o i_o have_v do_v to_o the_o end_n that_o i_o may_v be_v hold_v in_o great_a opinion_n and_o to_o be_v talk_v of_o and_o such_o other_o toy_n as_o that_o but_o in_o other_o i_o see_v clear_o that_o they_o say_v true_a as_o namely_o that_o i_o be_v much_o worse_o than_o the_o rest_n and_o that_o since_o i_o have_v not_o keep_v the_o observance_n of_o that_o house_n which_o be_v maintain_v with_o so_o much_o piety_n and_o devotion_n there_o how_o can_v i_o come_v to_o think_v of_o perform_v another_o rule_n of_o more_o rigour_n and_o that_o this_o be_v but_o to_o raiseup_a novelty_n in_o the_o world_n and_o to_o scandalize_v the_o people_n but_o yet_o all_o this_o cause_v no_o tumult_n in_o my_o hart_n nor_o put_v i_o to_o any_o pain_n at_o all_o though_o yet_o i_o show_v to_o be_v in_o some_o lest_o otherwise_o they_o may_v conceive_v that_o i_o undervalue_v what_o they_o say_v but_o in_o fine_a the_o provincial_n command_v i_o to_o give_v account_n of_o myself_o to_o they_o of_o the_o former_a monastery_n and_o that_o i_o must_v necessary_o do_v it_o and_o so_o be_v at_o great_a peace_n within_o myself_o and_o our_o lord_n assist_v i_o therein_o i_o give_v such_o a_o discharge_n of_o my_o action_n as_o that_o neither_o the_o provincial_n nor_o the_o religious_a woman_n who_o be_v in_o that_o assembly_n find_v any_o thing_n for_o which_o to_o condemn_v i_o after_o this_o i_o speak_v more_o plain_o to_o he_o in_o private_a and_o i_o do_v it_o also_o more_o at_o large_a and_o he_o be_v very_o well_o satisfy_v with_o i_o and_o promise_v i_o that_o if_o the_o city_n shall_v proceed_v towards_o a_o be_v quiet_a again_o he_o will_v give_v i_o leave_v to_o go_v to_o my_o monastery_n but_o the_o disorder_n and_o distemper_n of_o the_o city_n be_v so_o very_o great_a as_o i_o shall_v now_o declare_v within_o two_o or_o three_o day_n after_o that_o time_n the_o governor_n and_o other_o magistrate_n of_o the_o town_n and_o some_o also_o of_o the_o chapter_n of_o the_o cathedral_n church_n meet_v together_o and_o they_o all_o declare_v joint_o that_o by_o no_o mean_n they_o must_v permit_v the_o work_n to_o go_v forward_o that_o it_o will_v result_v to_o the_o evident_a disadvantage_n of_o the_o commonwealth_n that_o they_o must_v not_o fail_v to_o remove_v the_o b._n sacrament_n from_o thence_o and_o by_o no_o mean_n permit_v the_o business_n to_o proceed_v one_o only_o doctor_n of_o s._n dominick_n order_n although_o he_o be_v of_o a_o contrary_a opinion_n to_o we_o i_o mean_v not_o in_o that_o point_n of_o the_o monastery_n but_o in_o that_o other_o of_o be_v incapable_a of_o revenue_n and_o poor_a say_v that_o there_o be_v no_o cause_n why_o the_o house_n shall_v instant_o be_v dissolve_v after_o that_o manner_n but_o that_o it_o ought_v to_o be_v well_o consider_v that_o there_o will_v be_v time_n enough_o for_o this_o that_o it_o be_v a_o case_n which_o belong_v to_o the_o bishop_n and_o diverse_a other_o thing_n of_o this_o kind_n which_o do_v very_o much_o good_a to_o the_o business_n for_o consider_v how_o great_a the_o fury_n of_o the_o people_n be_v it_o be_v happy_a that_o they_o do_v not_o put_v the_o dissolve_v of_o the_o house_n present_o in_o execution_n and_o this_o show_v that_o the_o thing_n in_o fine_a be_v to_o take_v effect_n and_o that_o our_o bless_a lord_n be_v please_v to_o have_v it_o so_o and_o that_o they_o all_o can_v do_v little_a against_o his_o will_n and_o pleasure_n but_o yet_o they_o all_o assign_v their_o reason_n and_o express_v good_a zeal_n in_o what_o they_o say_v and_o yet_o thus_o without_o their_o give_a offence_n to_o almighty_a god_n they_o make_v both_o i_o and_o diverse_a other_o suffer_v who_o favour_v the_o business_n the_o tumultuous_a disposition_n of_o the_o people_n be_v so_o great_a that_o now_o there_o be_v no_o talk_n of_o any_o thing_n else_o and_o they_o all_o agree_v in_o condemn_v i_o and_o in_o go_v to_o complain_v of_o i_o to_o the_o provincial_n and_o to_o my_o monastery_n as_o for_o i_o i_o be_v no_o more_o trouble_v at_o what_o they_o say_v then_o if_o they_o have_v not_o say_v it_o but_o the_o only_o fear_v i_o have_v be_v whether_o or_o no_o they_o will_v dissolve_v the_o house_n for_o this_o put_v i_o to_o a_o great_a deal_n of_o pain_n and_o so_o also_o do_v it_o to_o see_v that_o the_o person_n who_o assist_v i_o lose_v credit_n and_o be_v otherwise_o also_o put_v to_o much_o inconvenience_n by_o it_o but_o as_o for_o that_o which_o they_o say_v of_o i_o i_o be_v rather_o glad_v of_o it_o than_o otherwise_o and_o if_o i_o have_v have_v any_o faith_n it_o will_v have_v make_v no_o alteration_n in_o i_o at_o all_o but_o when_o there_o be_v a_o want_n in_o some_o one_o virtue_n all_o the_o rest_n be_v wont_a to_o be_v cast_v into_o a_o kind_n of_o slumber_n and_o so_o i_o be_v much_o trouble_v during_o those_o two_o day_n wherein_o the_o two_o assembly_n whereof_o i_o speak_v be_v make_v among_o the_o people_n and_o i_o be_v very_o much_o afflict_v our_o lord_n say_v these_o word_n to_o i_o do_v thou_o not_o know_v that_o i_o be_o powerful_a of_o what_o be_v thou_o afraid_a and_o thus_o do_v he_o assure_v i_o that_o the_o house_n shall_v not_o be_v dissolve_v whereby_o i_o remain_v full_a of_o comfort_n but_o then_o do_v they_o dispatch_v their_o agent_n or_o sollicitour_n to_o the_o council_n royal_a with_o their_o information_n and_o so_o there_o come_v order_n from_o thencÄ—_n to_o send_v a_o relation_n thither_o of_o the_o whole_a proceed_n so_o that_o heet_n we_o may_v behold_v the_o beginning_n of_o a_o great_a suit_n in_o law_n for_o already_o some_o be_v go_v to_o the_o court_n on_o the_o part_n of_o the_o city_n &_o other_o be_v instant_o to_o go_v on_o the_o part_n of_o the_o monastery_n and_o on_o the_o other_o side_n neither_o have_v we_o any_o money_n nor_o do_v i_o know_v what_o to_o do_v but_o our_o lord_n provide_v all_o thing_n for_o us._n and_o as_o for_o i_o my_o father_n provincial_a do_v never_o forbid_v i_o to_o deal_v in_o it_o for_o he_o be_v so_o true_a a_o friend_n to_o all_o virtue_n that_o although_o he_o do_v not_o assist_v in_o the_o work_n yet_o he_o will_v not_o be_v against_o it_o though_o yet_o withal_o it_o be_v very_o true_a that_o he_o will_v never_o give_v i_o leave_v to_o pass_v to_o this_o new_a monastery_n till_o he_o may_v see_v what_o kind_n of_o end_n the_o business_n will_v have_v in_o the_o mean_a time_n the_o servant_n of_o god_n be_v all_o alone_a and_o do_v more_o with_o their_o prayer_n than_o all_o that_o which_o i_o be_v able_a to_o do_v by_o way_n of_o negotiation_n though_o yet_o still_o it_o be_v necessary_a to_o use_v diligence_n enough_o sometime_o it_o will_v seem_v that_o all_o be_v want_v and_o especial_o one_o day_n before_o the_o provincial_n come_v hither_o when_o the_o prioress_n command_v i_o not_o to_o treat_v any_o more_o about_o that_o business_n but_o to_o give_v it_o utter_o over_o but_o than_o go_v i_o to_o almighty_a god_n and_o say_v o_o my_o lord_n this_o house_n be_v not_o i_o but_o it_o be_v make_v for_o thou_o and_o now_o there_o be_v no_o creature_n to_o negotiate_v the_o business_n for_o we_o and_o therefore_o thy_o divine_a majesty_n must_v be_v please_v to_o do_v it_o heerupon_o i_o find_v myself_o real_o and_o instant_o at_o so_o great_a ease_n and_o so_o without_o any_o manner_n of_o trouble_n as_o if_o i_o have_v have_v the_o whole_a world_n on_o my_o side_n to_o employ_v itself_o for_o i_o and_o so_o i_o hold_v all_o the_o business_n to_o be_v in_o safety_n upon_o this_o a_o certain_a priest_n a_o very_a great_a servant_n of_o
to_o that_o journey_n for_o that_o only_o purpose_n for_o himself_o tell_v i_o afterward_o that_o he_o have_v no_o occasion_n at_o all_o to_o come_v but_o only_o by_o have_v hear_v of_o this_o business_n and_o that_o he_o grow_v to_o know_v of_o it_o mere_o by_o chance_n he_o stay_v here_o as_o long_o as_o be_v necessary_a and_o when_o he_o be_v return_v home_o he_o procure_v by_o certain_a mean_n which_o he_o use_v that_o our_o father_n provincial_a shall_v give_v leave_n both_o that_o i_o and_o some_o other_o also_o may_v come_v to_o stay_v at_o our_o new_a monastery_n which_o yet_o seem_v a_o kind_n of_o impossible_a thing_n for_o he_o to_o grant_v so_o soon_o yea_o and_o that_o i_o may_v also_o do_v the_o office_n of_o teach_v and_o instruct_v such_o as_o be_v there_o already_o but_o the_o day_n when_o i_o get_v thither_o be_v of_o extreme_a comfort_n to_o my_o hart_n for_o be_v in_o prayer_n in_o the_o church_n before_o i_o enter_v into_o the_o monastery_n and_o be_v in_o a_o kind_n of_o rapt_v i_o see_v christ_n our_o lord_n appear_v and_o i_o think_v he_o receive_v i_o with_o great_a love_n and_o put_v a_o crown_n upon_o my_o head_n &_o give_v i_o thanks_n for_o the_o service_n which_o i_o have_v do_v to_o his_o mother_n at_o another_o time_n also_o we_o be_v all_o in_o the_o choir_n and_o in_o prayer_n after_o compline_n i_o see_v our_o b._n lady_n in_o excessive_a glory_n with_o a_o white_a mantle_n upon_o and_o about_o she_o and_o she_o seem_v to_o shelter_v and_o protect_v we_o all_o under_o that_o mantle_n and_o i_o understand_v how_o high_a a_o degree_n of_o glory_n our_o bless_a lord_n will_v vouchsafe_v to_o the_o religious_a of_o that_o house_n when_o we_o come_v once_o to_o celebrate_v the_o office_n of_o the_o church_n the_o devotion_n which_o the_o people_n begin_v to_o carry_v towards_o we_o be_v very_o great_a and_o already_o there_o grow_v to_o come_v more_o religious_a to_o we_o and_o our_o lord_n begin_v also_o to_o incline_v even_o they_o to_o do_v we_o most_o favour_n and_o most_o bountiful_o to_o impart_v all_o thing_n to_o we_o who_o have_v persecute_v we_o most_o and_o they_o come_v to_o approve_v that_o which_o they_o have_v mislike_v before_o and_o so_o by_o little_a and_o little_a they_o let_v their_o suit_n fall_v and_o they_o say_v that_o now_o they_o be_v come_v to_o understand_v that_o it_o be_v the_o work_n of_o almighty_a god_n since_o his_o divine_a majesty_n have_v be_v please_v that_o it_o shall_v proceed_v and_o prosper_v in_o despite_n of_o so_o great_a contradiction_n yea_o now_o there_o be_v not_o a_o creature_n who_o conceive_v that_o it_o have_v be_v well_o do_v to_o desist_v from_o the_o work_n and_o according_o they_o take_v much_o care_n to_o provide_v we_o with_o alm_n even_o without_o our_o desire_v any_o thing_n at_o any_o time_n of_o any_o body_n so_o that_o it_o seem_v our_o bless_a lord_n stir_v they_o up_o to_o send_v it_o to_o we_o of_o themselves_o and_o so_o we_o pass_v without_o the_o want_n of_o any_o thing_n in_o the_o world_n which_o be_v necessary_a and_o i_o hope_v in_o our_o bless_a lord_n that_o it_o shall_v for_o ever_o be_v so_o for_o be_v so_o few_o as_o we_o be_v if_o withal_o we_o shall_v do_v our_o duty_n as_o now_o his_o divine_a majesty_n give_v we_o grace_n to_o do_v i_o make_v myself_o very_o sure_o that_o we_o shall_v want_v nothing_o and_o so_o have_v no_o occasion_n to_o be_v troublesome_a or_o importunate_a towards_o any_o creature_n but_o that_o as_o i_o be_v say_v our_o lord_n will_v take_v care_n of_o we_o hereafter_o as_o he_o have_v be_v please_v to_o do_v hitherto_o and_o religious_a for_o i_o it_o be_v a_o excessive_a comfort_n to_o see_v myself_o settle_v here_o with_o such_o servant_n of_o almighty_a god_n as_o be_v so_o total_o untie_v from_o all_o the_o person_n and_o thing_n of_o this_o world_n their_o conversation_n and_o discourse_n be_v only_o how_o they_o may_v be_v able_a to_o proceed_v best_a and_o fast_o in_o the_o service_n of_o his_o divine_a majesty_n solitude_n be_v the_o great_a solace_n they_o can_v enjoy_v and_o to_o think_v that_o they_o shall_v see_v any_o creature_n but_o only_o such_o as_o may_v assist_v they_o towards_o the_o enkindle_n and_o inflame_v their_o heart_n to_o the_o love_n of_o their_o spouse_n be_v the_o great_a trouble_n they_o have_v yea_o though_o it_o shall_v be_v from_o the_o near_a kindred_n they_o know_v and_o so_o there_o come_v no_o body_n hither_o but_o such_o as_o love_v to_o treat_v of_o that_o business_n for_o neither_o will_v he_o content_v they_o nor_o they_o he_o and_o their_o language_n be_v only_o to_o speak_v of_o our_o bless_a lord_n as_o it_o be_v they_o neither_o understand_v nor_o be_v understand_v unless_o the_o same_o language_n be_v speak_v we_o keep_v and_o observe_v the_o rule_n of_o our_o b._n lady_n of_o carmel_n and_o this_o entire_o as_o it_o ought_v to_o be_v without_o any_o manner_n of_o relaxation_n but_o just_a as_o it_o be_v ordain_v by_o albertus_n patriarch_n of_o jerusalem_n and_o confirm_v by_o pope_n innocentius_n the_o four_o in_o the_o five_o year_n of_o his_o pontificate_n and_o in_o the_o year_n of_o our_o lord_n god_n 1248._o so_o as_o now_o i_o think_v all_o the_o trouble_n and_o vexation_n which_o have_v be_v endure_v about_o this_o business_n will_v fall_v out_o to_o have_v be_v very_o well_o employ_v and_o though_o the_o rule_n be_v of_o some_o rigour_n for_o they_o never_o eat_v flesh_n without_o necessity_n and_o they_o fast_a fast_a eight_o month_n in_o the_o year_n and_o observe_v such_o other_o thing_n also_o as_o may_v be_v see_v in_o the_o original_a rule_n yet_o most_v of_o the_o particular_n seem_v to_o be_v of_o little_a difficulty_n to_o the_o religious_a &_o they_o observe_v also_o other_o thing_n which_o have_v seem_v necessary_a to_o we_o for_o the_o more_o exact_a performance_n of_o the_o say_a rule_n and_o i_o hope_v in_o our_o bless_a lord_n that_o this_o which_o be_v begin_v will_v proceed_v and_o prosper_v according_a to_o what_o his_o divine_a majesty_n have_v tell_v i_o the_o other_o house_n which_o the_o beata_fw-la of_o who_o i_o speak_v before_o procure_v to_o erect_v be_v now_o already_o make_v in_o alcalà _fw-fr and_o there_o want_v not_o also_o opposition_n and_o great_a affliction_n and_o trouble_n to_o they_o who_o labour_v in_o it_o i_o know_v that_o all_o religious_a observance_n be_v perform_v there_o according_a to_o the_o first_o institution_n of_o this_o our_o rule_n and_o i_o beseech_v our_o bless_a lord_n that_o all_o may_v turn_v to_o his_o honour_n and_o praise_n and_o of_o the_o glorious_a virgin_n marie_n who_o habit_n we_o wear_v amen_n i_o well_o believe_v that_o your_o reverence_n will_v have_v be_v weary_v with_o the_o long_a relation_n which_o i_o i_o have_v make_v you_o of_o this_o monastery_n which_o yet_o in_o some_o respect_n will_v fallout_a to_o have_v be_v but_o very_o short_a consider_v the_o many_o affliction_n which_o be_v endure_v and_o the_o great_a wonder_n which_o our_o bless_a lord_n wrought_v therein_o whereof_o there_o be_v many_o witness_n who_o can_v aver_v they_o by_o oath_n and_o now_o i_o beseech_v your_o reverence_n for_o the_o love_n of_o our_o lord_n that_o howsoever_o you_o may_v tear_v what_o you_o will_v of_o all_o the_o rest_n that_o i_o have_v write_v your_o reverence_n will_v keep_v safe_a what_o i_o send_v you_o here_o concern_v this_o monastery_n and_o that_o when_o i_o shall_v be_v dead_a you_o will_v deliver_v it_o over_o to_o the_o religious_a here_o for_o it_o will_v great_o serve_v to_o animate_v such_o as_o shall_v succeed_v in_o the_o service_n of_o almighty_a god_n and_o to_o make_v they_o procure_v not_o to_o let_v that_o fall_v to_o the_o ground_n which_o be_v begin_v and_o so_o to_o be_v still_o pass_v further_o and_o further_o on_o when_o they_o shall_v see_v how_o careful_o his_o divine_a majesty_n bless_v it_o in_o the_o erection_n thereof_o by_o mean_n of_o so_o wicked_a and_o base_a a_o creature_n as_o myself_o and_o since_o our_o bless_a lord_n have_v show_v in_o so_o particular_a a_o manner_n that_o he_o be_v resolve_v to_o favour_n both_o the_o beginning_n and_o finish_v of_o this_o monastery_n it_o seem_v to_o i_o that_o they_o shall_v do_v very_o ill_a and_o that_o they_o will_v be_v severe_o punish_v by_o almighty_a god_n who_o shall_v endeavour_v at_o all_o to_o slacken_v the_o perfection_n of_o this_o rule_n for_o here_o our_o bless_a lord_n have_v already_o begin_v so_o to_o assist_v and_o strengthen_v we_o as_o that_o this_o kind_n of_o cross_n be_v carry_v with_o extraordinary_a suavity_n and_o be_v very_o well_o discern_v to_o be_v tolerable_a enough_o and_o that_o
and_o i_o will_v also_o be_v very_o glad_a to_o see_v he_o and_o to_o think_v of_o he_o and_o to_o consider_v the_o good_a part_n which_o i_o find_v in_o he_o and_o this_o be_v so_o prejudicial_a a_o thing_n that_o it_o do_v my_o soul_n a_o great_a deal_n of_o hurt_n but_o when_o once_o i_o be_v come_v to_o behold_v the_o great_a beauty_n of_o our_o bless_a lord_n i_o see_v no_o creature_n after_o that_o which_o may_v seem_v passable_a in_o comparison_n of_o he_o nor_o who_o be_v able_a to_o takeup_a my_o thought_n for_o one_o minute_n for_o by_o cast_v the_o eye_n of_o my_o consideration_n upon_o that_o image_n or_o picture_n of_o he_o which_o be_v engrave_v in_o my_o soul_n i_o have_v remain_v with_o so_o much_o liberty_n of_o mind_n in_o this_o respect_n that_o every_o thing_n which_o i_o have_v see_v since_o that_o time_n make_v i_o ready_a almost_o to_o cast_v the_o gorge_n in_o comparison_n of_o the_o excellency_n and_o air_n and_o grace_n which_o i_o discern_v to_o abound_v in_o this_o lord_n of_o i_o nor_o be_v there_o any_o knowledge_n or_o comfort_n which_o i_o can_v at_o all_o esteem_v in_o comparison_n of_o that_o which_o grow_v by_o the_o hear_n of_o one_o single_a word_n which_o proceed_v out_o of_o that_o divine_a mouth_n of_o he_o and_o much_o more_o when_o i_o have_v hear_v so_o many_o and_o so_o often_o from_o he_o nay_o i_o hold_v it_o to_o be_v a_o kind_n of_o impossible_a thing_n unless_o our_o lord_n shall_v permit_v it_o in_o respect_n of_o my_o sin_n that_o ever_o i_o can_v loose_v the_o memory_n of_o this_o blessing_n or_o that_o any_o creature_n can_v ever_o so_o possess_v i_o as_o that_o i_o shall_v not_o instant_o be_v free_a by_o recover_v the_o remembrance_n of_o this_o lord_n it_o happen_v to_o i_o sometime_o with_o some_o ghostly_a father_n of_o i_o for_o i_o always_o love_v they_o much_o who_o govern_v my_o soul_n in_o regard_n that_o i_o take_v they_o true_o as_o in_o the_o place_n of_o almighty_a god_n himself_o and_o i_o think_v it_o be_v ever_o there_o where_o i_o employ_v my_o affection_n most_o that_o esteem_v myself_o to_o be_v in_o security_n with_o they_o i_o will_v be_v apt_a to_o show_v they_o extraordinary_a civilitye_n whereas_o they_o on_o the_o other_o side_n as_o be_v great_a servant_n of_o almighty_a god_n will_v be_v not_o only_o careful_a but_o fearful_a lest_o i_o shall_v fasten_v or_o tie_v myself_o too_o much_o to_o they_o though_o it_o shall_v be_v in_o a_o most_o innocent_a manner_n and_o they_o will_v show_v themselves_o even_o to_o be_v displease_v at_o it_o now_o this_o grow_v in_o i_o after_o i_o have_v make_v myself_o subject_a to_o be_v be_v direct_v and_o even_o command_v by_o they_o for_o before_o i_o do_v not_o bear_v they_o so_o much_o love_n but_o the_o while_n i_o confess_v i_o will_v be_v laugh_v sometime_o within_o myself_o to_o consider_v how_o extreme_o they_o be_v deceive_v though_o yet_o i_o will_v not_o always_o be_v tell_v they_o so_o clear_o how_o little_a i_o use_v to_o tie_v myself_o to_o any_o creature_n as_o i_o be_v sure_a of_o it_o in_o myself_o but_o yet_o i_o give_v they_o certainty_n enough_o of_o it_o and_o when_o once_o they_o be_v grow_v to_o be_v more_o inward_a and_o more_o confident_a with_o i_o they_o come_v to_o know_v how_o particular_o i_o be_v oblige_v to_o our_o bless_a lord_n in_o that_o kind_n but_o these_o suspicion_n which_o they_o have_v of_o i_o be_v never_o wont_n to_o occur_v but_o in_o the_o beginning_n beside_o there_o grow_v to_o be_v both_o more_o love_n and_o more_o confidence_n between_o this_o lord_n of_o i_o and_o i_o after_o i_o have_v see_v he_o as_o one_o with_o who_o i_o be_v come_v to_o have_v a_o kind_n of_o continual_a conversation_n i_o see_v that_o though_o he_o be_v god_n he_o be_v also_o man_n and_o that_o he_o do_v not_o wonder_n at_o our_o weakness_n for_o he_o well_o know_v our_o miserable_a condition_n and_o composition_n which_o be_v subject_a to_o take_v fall_v of_o so_o many_o kind_n by_o that_o first_o sin_n of_o adam_n which_o he_o be_v come_v to_o repair_v nay_o i_o see_v that_o although_o he_o be_v my_o lord_n i_o may_v yet_o treat_v with_o he_o as_o with_o a_o friend_n because_o he_o be_v not_o such_o a_o kind_n of_o lord_n as_o we_o be_v wont_n to_o meet_v with_o in_o this_o world_n who_o pin_n all_o the_o lordlyness_n which_o they_o have_v upon_o a_o certain_a kind_n of_o changeable_a and_o removable_a demonstration_n and_o who_o must_v give_v but_o particular_a and_o set_v day_n for_o audience_n and_o so_o the_o person_n who_o they_o will_v hear_v must_v be_v appoint_v and_o name_v and_o if_o perhaps_o any_o poor_a creature_n have_v a_o business_n there_o must_v be_v use_n of_o labour_n and_o favour_n and_o a_o walk_n in_o byway_n before_o it_o can_v be_v ever_o negotiate_v or_o conclude_v and_o if_o perhaps_o they_o have_v any_o thing_n to_o do_v with_o the_o king_n himself_o alas_o poor_a folk_n for_o they_o who_o touch_v not_o upon_o the_o cavalier_n or_o great_a man_n must_v not_o so_o much_o as_o presume_v to_o approach_v but_o be_v content_a to_o ask_v who_o the_o favourite_n be_v and_o now_o they_o will_v certain_o not_o fall_v out_o to_o be_v such_o as_o use_v to_o tread_v the_o world_n under_o their_o foot_n because_o such_o person_n as_o these_o be_v wont_a to_o speak_v real_a truth_n for_o they_o neither_o fear_v any_o thing_n nor_o owe_v any_o thing_n nor_o in_o fine_a be_v any_o part_n of_o the_o palace_n for_o there_o these_o thing_n be_v not_o use_v but_o to_o dissemble_v whatsoever_o they_o dislike_v nay_o they_o scarce_o dare_v so_o much_o as_o think_v for_o fear_n lest_o they_o shall_v grow_v by_o it_o into_o less_o favour_n o_o king_n of_o glory_n and_o lord_n of_o all_o the_o king_n of_o this_o world_n how_o true_a be_v it_o that_o thy_o kingdom_n be_v not_o guard_v by_o stick_n and_o straw_n since_o in_o itself_o it_o have_v no_o end_n how_o true_a be_v it_o that_o there_o be_v no_o need_n of_o three_o person_n to_o introduce_v we_o to_o audience_n with_o thou_o for_o by_o our_o very_a see_v thyself_o we_o instant_o see_v withal_o that_o thou_o only_o do_v indeed_o deserve_v to_o be_v call_v lord_n so_o great_a be_v the_o majesty_n which_o thou_o show_v nor_o be_v there_o here_o any_o need_n at_o all_o of_o assemble_v and_o guard_n in_o court_n whereby_o thou_o may_v be_v know_v to_o be_v king_n whereas_o if_o any_o earthly_a king_n be_v leave_v alone_o he_o will_v hardly_o be_v know_v to_o be_v king_n and_o how_o much_o soever_o himself_o may_v desire_v it_o yet_o the_o people_n will_v have_v difficulty_n to_o believe_v it_o for_o in_o himself_o he_o be_v no_o more_o than_o other_o be_v and_o therefore_o we_o must_v either_o see_v he_o so_o adorn_v and_o attend_v first_o or_o else_o we_o shall_v hardly_o belieive_v afterward_o that_o he_o be_v the_o king_n and_o he_o have_v therefore_o so_o much_o more_o reason_n to_o serve_v himself_o of_o these_o external_a advantage_n and_o help_n for_o else_o they_o will_v not_o hold_v he_o in_o account_n because_o his_o seem_a to_o be_v so_o powerful_a depend_v not_o upon_o the_o inward_a and_o innate_a dignity_n of_o his_o person_n but_o his_o state_n be_v derive_v to_o he_o from_o other_o but_o o_o thou_o my_o lord_n and_o my_o king_n that_o i_o be_v able_a now_o to_o represent_v that_o majesty_n which_o thou_o have_v for_o it_o be_v impossible_a to_o forbear_v to_o see_v that_o thou_o be_v the_o great_a emperor_n of_o the_o whole_a world_n in_o thyself_o and_o that_o thy_o majesty_n do_v even_o astonish_v the_o beholder_n but_o yet_o it_o put_v i_o to_o more_o amazement_n o_o my_o lord_n to_o see_v in_o company_n thereof_o the_o great_a humility_n and_o love_n which_o thou_o bear_v to_o such_o a_o wretched_a creature_n as_o myself_o for_o we_o may_v ever_o speak_v and_o treat_v with_o thou_o about_o all_o thing_n even_o as_o we_o will_v ourselves_o when_o once_o we_o shall_v have_v lose_v that_o first_o amazement_n and_o fear_v to_o see_v the_o majesty_n of_o thy_o presence_n though_o yet_o then_o we_o shall_v have_v more_o fear_n to_o offend_v thou_o then_o to_o see_v thou_o yea_o and_o yet_o even_o that_o not_o so_o much_o for_o be_v o_o lord_n afraid_a of_o thy_o punishment_n for_o we_o do_v not_o esteem_v that_o at_o all_o as_o in_o respect_n of_o the_o misery_n which_o it_o be_v to_o loose_v thy_o very_a self_n behold_v here_o the_o benefit_n of_o this_o vision_n beside_o many_o other_o great_a one_o which_o it_o leave_v in_o the_o soul_n and_o if_o it_o be_v of_o almighty_a god_n it_o make_v itself_o be_v understand_v by_o
for_o i_o confess_v i_o understand_v not_o this_o kind_n of_o language_n but_o because_o i_o have_v be_v think_v that_o our_o saint_n have_v ancient_o affirm_v and_o teach_v that_o a_o monastery_n shall_v be_v a_o kind_n of_o court_n to_o instruct_v such_o person_n as_o have_v a_o mind_n to_o make_v themselves_o courtier_n in_o the_o kingdom_n of_o heaven_n but_o now_o thing_n be_v understand_v in_o the_o direct_a contrary_a way_n because_o they_o who_o shall_v be_v continual_o employ_v in_o please_v almighty_a god_n and_o in_o procure_v to_o abhor_v the_o world_n must_v now_o forsooth_o be_v oblige_v to_o all_o attention_n and_o care_n in_o stead_n of_o please_a god_n to_o please_v such_o as_o live_v in_o the_o world_n yea_o and_o that_o in_o certain_a thing_n which_o be_v every_o day_n so_o subject_a to_o change_v that_o i_o know_v not_o how_o our_o performance_n can_v pass_v un-reproved_a yea_o though_o it_o be_v possible_a that_o all_o may_v be_v learn_v in_o one_o lesson_n without_o any_o loss_n at_o all_o of_o more_o time_n yea_o and_o even_o for_o the_o title_n which_o be_v expect_v upon_o the_o superscription_n of_o letter_n it_o be_v now_o it_o seem_v not_o to_o be_v unfit_a that_o there_o be_v some_o doctours-chaire_n erect_v as_o one_o may_v say_v where_o they_o may_v instruct_v and_o teach_v how_o such_o and_o such_o title_n be_v to_o be_v use_v for_o sometime_o man_n leave_v the_o paper_n empty_a on_o one_o side_n of_o the_o page_n of_o the_o letter_n and_o sometime_o on_o the_o other_o and_o now_o he_o who_o be_v not_o wont_a to_o be_v worshipful_a must_v be_v call_v honourable_a and_o i_o know_v not_o in_o fine_a where_o thing_n will_v rest_v for_o i_o be_o not_o yet_o fifty_o year_n old_a and_o yet_o i_o have_v see_v such_o change_n in_o my_o time_n that_o i_o can_v tell_v now_o how_o to_o live_v but_o then_o how_o will_v they_o who_o be_v now_o bear_v know_v how_o to_o carry_v themselves_o if_o they_o chance_v to_o live_v long_o i_o have_v real_o great_a compassion_n of_o spiritual_a person_n who_o be_v oblige_v to_o live_v in_o the_o world_n for_o certain_a holy_a end_n for_o i_o hold_v it_o to_o be_v a_o kind_n of_o terrible_a cross_n which_o they_o be_v fain_o to_o carry_v even_o in_o this_o respect_n if_o they_o can_v all_o come_v to_o agree_v in_o a_o tale_n and_o profess_v themselves_o to_o be_v ignorant_a and_o be_v content_a to_o be_v hold_v for_o such_o in_o this_o kind_n of_o art_n or_o science_n they_o may_v free_v themselves_o from_o a_o great_a deal_n of_o trouble_n but_o now_o into_o what_o kind_n of_o foolety_n have_v i_o cast_v myself_o for_o by_o treat_v of_o the_o greatness_n of_o almighty_a god_n i_o be_o grow_v by_o degree_n to_o speak_v of_o the_o baseness_n of_o the_o world_n and_o since_o our_o lord_n have_v do_v i_o the_o favour_n to_o make_v i_o able_a to_o leave_v it_o i_o be_o resolve_v to_o go_v out_o of_o it_o now_o at_o length_n let_v they_o fit_a themselves_o to_o it_o as_o they_o list_v who_o sustain_v and_o hold-up_a these_o toy_n with_o so_o much_o trouble_n to_o themselves_o and_o i_o pray_v god_n that_o we_o may_v not_o pay_v dear_o for_o they_o in_o the_o other_o world_n where_o there_o be_v no_o change_n to_o be_v find_v amen_o the_o eight_o and_o thirty_o chapter_n wherein_o she_o treat_v of_o some_o great_a favour_n which_o our_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o do_v she_o as_o well_o in_o acquaint_v she_o with_o certain_a secret_n of_o heaven_n as_o by_o give_v she_o other_o great_a vision_n and_o revelation_n she_o declare_v also_o the_o effect_n which_o they_o leave_v in_o her_o soul_n and_o the_o great_a benefit_n which_o she_o obtain_v by_o they_o be_v so_o very_o ill_o at_o ease_n one_o night_n that_o i_o think_v fit_a to_o excuse_v myself_o from_o prayer_n i_o take_v a_o pair_n of_o bead_n or_o rosarie_n into_o my_o hand_n to_o employ_v myself_o vocal_o by_o that_o mean_n and_o i_o procure_v not_o to_o recollect_v my_o understanding_n in_o any_o very_a serious_a manner_n though_o yet_o forasmuch_o as_o concern_v my_o exterior_a i_o be_v sufficient_o recollect_v and_o in_o my_o oratory_n but_o when_o our_o bless_a lord_n have_v a_o mind_n to_o any_o thing_n these_o diligence_n of_o we_o to_o the_o contrary_a be_v not_o wont_a to_o serve_v to_o any_o great_a purpose_n for_o i_o remain_v a_o while_n after_o this_o manner_n there_o come_v a_o rapt_v of_o spirit_n upon_o i_o with_o such_o a_o excessive_a impulse_n or_o impetuositie_n that_o there_o be_v no_o power_n in_o i_o to_o resist_v it_o it_o seem_v to_o i_o that_o i_o be_v carry_v up_o and_o place_v in_o heaven_n yea_o and_o the_o first_o person_n who_o i_o see_v there_o be_v my_o father_n and_o my_o mother_n and_o i_o also_o see_v some_o thing_n beside_o so_o very_o great_a and_o all_o in_o so_o very_o short_a a_o space_n of_o time_n as_o wherein_o a_o aue_fw-la maria_n may_v be_v say_v that_o i_o be_v amaze_v as_o conceave_a that_o it_o be_v too_o very_o great_a a_o favour_n for_o i_o in_o this_o circumstance_n of_o the_o time_n have_v be_v so_o short_a i_o may_v perhaps_o be_v deceive_v for_o it_o may_v have_v be_v a_o little_a long_o but_o at_o least_o it_o run_v speedy_o away_o and_o seem_v short_a enough_o for_o my_o part_n i_o be_v in_o some_o fear_n of_o a_o illusion_n but_o yet_o suppose_v that_o it_o shall_v prove_v none_o i_o find_v myself_o in_o a_o extreme_a deal_n of_o shame_n with_o consider_v how_o i_o can_v ever_o be_v able_a to_o declare_v any_o such_o thing_n as_o that_o to_o my_o ghostly_a father_n not_o yet_o in_o my_o opinion_n that_o i_o be_v to_o receive_v trouble_n by_o it_o in_o respect_n of_o any_o such_o thing_n as_o humility_n in_o i_o but_o because_o i_o think_v it_o likely_a enough_o that_o he_o will_v make_v some_o jest_n at_o it_o and_o say_v lord_n what_o a_o kind_n of_o s._n paul_n or_o s._n jerome_n be_v this_o woman_n grow_v that_o she_o forsooth_o must_v see_v thing_n of_o heaven_n yea_o and_o beside_o in_o regard_n that_o these_o glorious_a saint_n have_v participate_v and_o be_v admit_v to_o such_o thing_n as_o these_o i_o grow_v to_o be_v in_o so_o much_o the_o more_o fear_n of_o myself_o and_o real_o i_o do_v nothing_o but_o weep_v bitter_o in_o regard_n that_o in_o my_o opinion_n there_o be_v no_o appearance_n of_o reason_n at_o all_o that_o these_o thing_n be_v to_o pass_v after_o this_o manner_n but_o yet_o howsoever_o in_o fine_a i_o resolve_v that_o i_o will_v go_v to_o my_o ghostly_a father_n notwithstanding_o all_o the_o aversion_n which_o i_o have_v and_o that_o i_o will_v acquaint_v he_o with_o all_o thing_n for_o i_o never_o dare_v conceal_v any_o thing_n from_o he_o through_o the_o very_a great_a fear_n wherein_o i_o be_v of_o be_v abuse_v and_o deceive_v yet_o when_o he_o find_v i_o to_o be_v so_o great_o afflict_v he_o do_v procure_v to_o comfort_v i_o much_o and_o tell_v i_o of_o many_o good_a thing_n to_o free_v i_o from_o the_o pain_n wherein_o i_o be_v but_o afterward_o that_o which_o follow_v happen_v to_o i_o and_o the_o same_o occurr_n to_o i_o often_o for_o our_o lord_n go_v show_v i_o yet_o great_a secret_n i_o say_v he_o go_v show_v they_o to_o i_o for_o that_o a_o soul_n shall_v ever_o be_v able_a to_o see_v any_o one_o iott_n more_o then_o be_v represent_v to_o she_o by_o our_o lord_n be_v absolute_o a_o impossible_a thing_n and_o for_o my_o part_n i_o never_o see_v more_o then_o mere_o what_o he_o be_v please_v to_o show_v i_o at_o every_o several_a time_n but_o that_o be_v so_o very_a much_o that_o the_o least_o part_n thereof_o suffice_v to_o make_v i_o remain_v all_o amaze_v and_o my_o soul_n to_o be_v very_o much_o improve_v towards_o the_o undervalue_v and_o disesteem_n of_o whatsoever_o thing_n may_v be_v in_o this_o world_n i_o will_v be_v extreme_o glad_a if_o i_o can_v tell_v how_o to_o give_v some_o little_a part_n of_o the_o least_o of_o that_o which_o i_o know_v to_o be_v understand_v but_o i_o find_v that_o it_o be_v whole_o impossible_a for_o though_o this_o light_n which_o we_o see_v here_o and_o that_o light_n which_o be_v represent_v there_o be_v all_o of_o it_o light_n yet_o still_o there_o be_v so_o great_a a_o difference_n withal_o as_o that_o there_o be_v no_o manner_n of_o comparison_n for_o the_o claritie_n and_o brightness_n even_o of_o the_o very_a sun_n itself_o be_v a_o thing_n of_o mean_a and_o poor_a appearance_n in_o respect_n of_o this_o in_o fine_a the_o very_a imagination_n of_o man_n how_o subtle_a and_o refine_v soever_o it_o may_v be_v be_v yet_o unable_a to_o reach_v to_o the_o describe_v any_o thing_n of_o
not_o overshadow_v and_o even_o hide_v thy_o greatness_n who_o will_v ever_o presume_v to_o approach_v so_o often_o as_o we_o do_v towards_o the_o join_n of_o such_o wretched_a and_o filthy_a thing_n as_o we_o be_v to_o so_o high_a a_o majesty_n as_o thou_o but_o bless_a be_v thou_o for_o ever_o my_o dear_a lord_n and_o let_v the_o angel_n vea_o and_o all_o creature_n praise_n and_o glorifye_v thy_o holy_a name_n who_o do_v so_o measure_v and_o weigh_v thing_n out_o together_o with_o our_o great_a weakness_n as_o that_o we_o may_v be_v able_a to_o enjoy_v those_o sovereign_a favour_n of_o thou_o without_o be_v fright_v by_o thy_o infinite_a power_n though_o yet_o we_o be_v so_o miserable_a and_o unworthy_a creature_n i_o think_v it_o may_v happen_v to_o we_o here_o as_o once_o it_o do_v to_o another_o and_o this_o i_o know_v to_o be_v true_a a_o certain_a labouring-man_n find_v a_o treasure_n and_o the_o same_o fall_v out_o to_o be_v great_a than_o can_v get_v room_n in_o his_o straight_a and_o narrow-hart_n he_o come_v to_o have_v this_o treasure_n in_o his_o power_n grow_v withal_o to_o have_v such_o a_o melancholy_n in_o his_o mind_n that_o he_o come_v by_o little_a and_o little_a to_o die_v by_o the_o very_a care_n and_o affliction_n of_o his_o thought_n for_o not_o know_v what_o he_o be_v best_a to_o do_v with_o his_o treasure_n whereas_o if_o he_o have_v not_o find_v it_o all_o together_o but_o that_o some_o one_o have_v give_v it_o he_o by_o little_a and_o little_a accommodate_v he_o and_o sustain_v he_o by_o degree_n the_o poor_a man_n will_v have_v live_v content_v and_o it_o will_v never_o have_v cost_v he_o his_o life_n o_o thou_o who_o be_v the_o riches_n of_o the_o poor_a and_o how_o admirable_o do_v thou_o know_v how_o to_o sustain_v soul_n and_o how_o careful_a be_v thou_o to_o show_v they_o treasure_n by_o little_a and_o little_a and_o that_o they_o may_v not_o see_v too_o much_o at_o once_o when_o i_o see_v so_o great_a a_o majesty_n as_o thou_o dissemble_v as_o it_o be_v and_o disguised_z in_o so_o small_a a_o thing_n as_o the_o sacred_a host_n it_o be_v true_a that_o in_o these_o latter_a time_n and_o since_o i_o have_v be_v partaker_n of_o these_o vision_n i_o be_o even_o in_o admiration_n at_o so_o great_a a_o wisdom_n nor_o do_v i_o know_v how_o our_o lord_n give_v i_o strength_n and_o courage_n to_o approach_v it_o but_o if_o he_o who_o have_v do_v i_o and_o do_v i_o still_o so_o great_a favour_n do_v not_o govern_v i_o also_o herein_o it_o be_v not_o possible_a that_o i_o can_v dissemble_v the_o matter_n any_o long_o but_o must_v cry_v out_o and_o that_o aloud_o at_o the_o sight_n of_o so_o great_a wonder_n as_o these_o and_o what_o now_o be_v it_o then_o that_o so_o miserable_a a_o creature_n and_o so_o load_v with_o abomination_n as_o i_o be_o and_o who_o have_v spend_v my_o whole_a life_n in_o so_o little_a fear_n of_o almighty_a god_n aught_o to_o find_v with_o all_o reason_n in_o herself_o to_o see_v that_o she_o approach_v so_o great_a a_o majesty_n even_o when_o he_o be_v please_v that_o my_o soul_n shall_v behold_v he_o with_o her_o very_a eye_n how_o shall_v this_o mouth_n of_o i_o which_o have_v utter_v so_o many_o word_n against_o the_o service_n of_o that_o very_a lord_n himself_o presume_v to_o touch_v that_o most_o glorious_a body_n of_o he_o so_o full_a of_o piety_n and_o purity_n since_o the_o love_n which_o that_o divine_a countenance_n of_o so_o much_o beauty_n suavitie_n and_o affability_n discover_v to_o we_o do_v more_o afflict_v and_o wound_v the_o soul_n then_o do_v even_o that_o fear_n and_o terror_n which_o be_v breed_v in_o we_o by_o the_o consideration_n of_o his_o high_a majesty_n but_o what_o then_o shall_v i_o feel_v in_o myself_o who_o have_v see_v all_o this_o whereof_o i_o speak_v two_o several_a time_n i_o be_o real_o about_o to_o say_v o_o thou_o my_o dear_a lord_n and_o the_o very_a glory_n of_o my_o soul_n that_o i_o have_v in_o some_o kind_n do_v thou_o service_n by_o the_o great_a affliction_n which_o my_o soul_n have_v feel_v in_o herself_o and_o yet_o alas_o alas_o i_o can_v hardly_o tell_v even_o what_o i_o say_v who_o be_o in_o effect_n write_v this_o without_o know_v almost_o what_o i_o do_v for_o i_o find_v that_o i_o be_o all_o trouble_a yea_o and_o half_a beside_o myself_o when_o i_o go_v back_o to_o bring_v these_o thing_n to_o my_o remembrance_n though_o i_o may_v seem_v to_o have_v some_o little_a reason_n for_o what_o i_o say_v and_o that_o i_o have_v do_v some_o little_a thing_n for_o thy_o service_n o_o my_o lord_n &_o my_o god_n but_o since_o i_o be_o not_o the_o owner_n of_o so_o much_o as_o one_o good_a thought_n if_o thou_o impart_v it_o not_o to_o i_o there_o be_v nothing_o for_o which_o i_o can_v pretend_v to_o be_v thank_v but_o i_o be_o still_o the_o debtor_n o_o my_o lord_n and_o still_o thou_o be_v the_o party_n offend_v go_v one_o day_n to_o receive_v the_o b._n sacrament_n i_o see_v two_o divelis_n with_o the_o eye_n of_o my_o soul_n more_o clear_o then_o if_o i_o have_v see_v they_o with_o the_o eye_n of_o my_o body_n in_o a_o most_o abominable_a figure_n and_o i_o think_v their_o horn_n do_v encompass_v the_o very_a throat_n of_o a_o certain_a poor_a priest_n and_o i_o see_v also_o my_o lord_n with_o that_o great_a majesty_n whereof_o i_o have_v speak_v place_v in_o those_o hand_n of_o that_o priest_n which_o he_o be_v go_v to_o minister_v to_o i_o with_o the_o same_o sinful_a hand_n of_o he_o for_o i_o understand_v that_o soul_n to_o be_v then_o in_o the_o state_n of_o mortal_a sinne._n but_o now_o what_o kind_n of_o object_n must_v it_o be_v to_o see_v thy_o beauty_n o_o my_o lord_n in_o the_o midst_n of_o so_o abominable_a figure_n those_o devil_n be_v as_o all_o amaze_a and_o fright_v in_o thy_o presence_n and_o willing_o enough_o will_v have_v be_v go_v from_o thence_o if_o they_o can_v have_v get_v thy_o leave_n this_o give_v i_o such_o a_o excessive_a trouble_n that_o i_o know_v not_o how_o i_o shall_v be_v able_a to_o communicate_v through_o the_o great_a fear_n wherein_o i_o be_v as_o conceave_a that_o if_o it_o have_v be_v a_o true_a vision_n his_o divine_a majesty_n will_v never_o have_v permit_v that_o i_o shall_v discern_v the_o misery_n wherein_o that_o poor_a soul_n remain_v the_o same_o dear_a lord_n of_o i_o command_v i_o to_o pray_v for_o that_o soul_n and_o tell_v i_o that_o he_o have_v suffer_v what_o i_o have_v see_v to_o the_o end_n that_o i_o may_v know_v of_o how_o great_a power_n and_o force_n the_o word_n of_o consecration_n be_v and_o that_o almighty_a god_n will_v not_o be_v keep_v from_o thence_o how_o wicked_a soever_o that_o priest_n shall_v be_v who_o pronounce_v they_o and_o to_o the_o end_n that_o i_o may_v also_o discern_v his_o great_a goodness_n in_o not_o forbear_v to_o put_v himself_o into_o the_o hand_n even_o of_o his_o great_a enemy_n for_o the_o good_a both_o of_o i_o and_o of_o all_o man_n and_o i_o also_o understand_v thereby_o how_o much_o more_o priest_n be_v oblige_v to_o be_v virtuous_a and_o good_a than_o other_o man_n and_o how_o terrible_a a_o thing_n it_o be_v to_o take_v the_o b._n sacrament_n unworthy_o and_o how_o absolute_a a_o lord_n the_o devil_n be_v of_o any_o soul_n which_o be_v in_o mortal_a sinne._n in_o fine_a this_o passage_n do_v i_o a_o great_a deal_n of_o good_a and_o give_v i_o a_o most_o particular_a knowledge_n of_o the_o very_a great_a obligation_n wherein_o i_o be_v to_o almighty_a god_n and_o let_v he_o be_v bless_v and_o praise_v for_o all_o eternity_n amen_n another_o time_n i_o happen_v to_o see_v another_o thing_n which_o amaze_v i_o extreme_o i_o be_v in_o a_o certain_a place_n where_o a_o certain_a person_n die_v who_o have_v live_v very_o ill_a and_o that_o many_o year_n but_o during_o two_o of_o they_o he_o have_v be_v sick_a and_o in_o some_o thing_n he_o also_o seem_v to_o be_v reform_v this_o man_n die_v without_o confession_n but_o still_o it_o seem_v to_o i_o that_o he_o be_v not_o to_o be_v damn_v though_o yet_o whilst_o man_n be_v shroud_a he_o and_o prepare_v he_o for_o burial_n i_o see_v many_o devil_n possess_v themselves_o of_o that_o body_n and_o they_o seem_v as_o it_o be_v to_o play_v with_o it_o and_o yet_o withal_o they_o use_v diverse_a cruelty_n upon_o it_o for_o they_o do_v with_o certain_a great_a hook_n both_o tear_n and_o toss_v it_o from_o one_o to_o another_o and_o this_o strike_v i_o into_o a_o very_a great_a fear_n when_o afterward_o i_o see_v he_o carry_v to_o be_v bury_v with_o all_o the_o ceremony_n and_o
honour_n which_o be_v allow_v to_o other_o i_o consider_v the_o goodness_n of_o almighty_a god_n in_o not_o permit_v the_o soul_n even_o of_o that_o man_n to_o be_v defame_v but_o that_o it_o may_v be_v conceal_v that_o he_o be_v a_o enemy_n of_o he_o for_o my_o part_n i_o be_v even_o turn_v half_a fool_n by_o what_o i_o have_v see_v yet_o during_o all_o the_o performance_n of_o the_o office_n of_o the_o dead_a there_o be_v no_o more_o devil_n to_o be_v see_v but_o when_o afterward_o they_o put_v the_o body_n into_o the_o grave_n there_o be_v such_o a_o multitude_n of_o they_o ready_a to_o receive_v the_o body_n that_o i_o be_v even_o out_o of_o myself_o with_o behold_v it_o and_o it_o be_v no_o little_a courage_n which_o i_o need_v for_o enable_v i_o to_o dissemble_v the_o see_v it_o and_o i_o consider_v how_o those_o devil_n be_v likely_a to_o treat_v that_o soul_n when_o they_o exercise_v such_o a_o absolute_a dominion_n even_o over_o that_o woeful_a body_n and_o i_o will_v to_o christ_n that_o what_o i_o see_v have_v also_o be_v see_v by_o such_o as_o be_v in_o mortal_a sin_n for_o i_o think_v it_o must_v have_v be_v of_o much_o effect_n and_o force_n towards_o a_o make_v they_o mend_v their_o life_n now_o all_o this_o oblige_v i_o to_o know_v more_o and_o more_o what_o i_o owe_v to_o almighty_a god_n and_o from_o what_o he_o have_v deliver_v my_o soul_n but_o yet_o i_o go_v on_o with_o fear_n enough_o till_o i_o have_v impart_v these_o particular_n to_o my_o ghostly_a father_n as_o conceave_a that_o perhaps_o it_o may_v have_v be_v some_o illusion_n of_o the_o devil_n whereby_o to_o defame_v that_o soul_n though_o yet_o the_o man_n have_v not_o be_v hold_v to_o be_v of_o very_o good_a life_n but_o yet_o it_o be_v very_o true_a that_o whether_o it_o be_v a_o illusion_n or_o no_o i_o be_o sure_a i_o never_o remember_v it_o but_o it_o make_v i_o afraid_a and_o now_o since_o i_o have_v begin_v to_o speak_v of_o vision_n which_o have_v relation_n to_o some_o such_o person_n as_o be_v dead_a i_o will_v also_o declare_v some_o thing_n concern_v some_o other_o kind_n of_o soul_n which_o our_o lord_n have_v be_v please_v that_o i_o shall_v see_v but_o i_o will_v speak_v only_o of_o few_o both_o to_o be_v the_o short_a and_o because_o it_o will_v not_o be_v necessary_a to_o say_v much_o in_o order_n to_o the_o receive_n of_o benefit_n thereby_o they_o tell_v i_o once_o that_o a_o certain_a man_n be_v dead_a who_o have_v be_v provincial_a of_o his_o order_n but_o when_o he_o die_v he_o be_v provincial_a of_o another_o province_n now_o i_o have_v communicate_v much_o with_o this_o man_n and_o have_v be_v oblige_v to_o he_o for_o some_o good_a office_n which_o he_o have_v do_v i_o this_o man_n be_v of_o much_o &_o many_o virtue_n but_o yet_o when_o i_o come_v to_o know_v that_o he_o be_v dead_a i_o be_v great_o trouble_v at_o it_o because_o i_o be_v in_o fear_n and_o doubt_v of_o his_o salvation_n in_o regard_n that_o he_o have_v be_v a_o prelate_n or_o superior_a twenty_o year_n which_o real_o be_v a_o thing_n that_o i_o be_o apt_a to_o fear_v as_o hold_v it_o to_o be_v a_o matter_n of_o much_o danger_n to_o have_v charge_n of_o soul_n and_o so_o i_o go_v with_o trouble_n enough_o to_o a_o oratory_n and_o give_v he_o all_o that_o little_a good_a which_o i_o have_v ever_o do_v in_o my_o whole_a life_n which_o yet_o be_v little_a enough_o and_o i_o humble_o beseech_v out_o bless_v lord_n that_o he_o will_v supply_v out_o of_o his_o infinite_a merit_n for_o as_o much_o as_o that_o soul_n may_v wot_v towards_o the_o free_n itself_o out_o of_o purgatory_n and_o whilst_o i_o be_v beg_v this_o boon_n of_o our_o bless_a lord_n in_o the_o best_a manner_n i_o can_v i_o think_v he_o rise_v as_o from_o some_o deep_a part_n out_o of_o the_o earth_n on_o my_o right_a side_n and_o so_o i_o see_v he_o mount-up_a to_o heaven_n with_o very_o great_a joy_n the_o man_n be_v very_o old_a before_o he_o die_v but_o yet_o now_o he_o seem_v to_o i_o to_o be_v but_o of_o thirty_o year_n old_a or_o rather_o somewhat_o less_o but_o with_o much_o brightness_n in_o his_o face_n this_o vision_n pass_v away_o very_o speedy_o but_o yet_o i_o be_v so_o extreme_o comfort_v by_o it_o that_o the_o death_n of_o that_o man_n do_v put_v i_o now_o to_o no_o more_o pain_n though_o i_o have_v trouble_v many_o other_o about_o he_o for_o he_o be_v very_o well_o belove_v and_o thus_o also_o the_o comfort_n of_o my_o soul_n be_v so_o great_a i_o can_v not_o possible_o doubt_v but_o that_o the_o vision_n be_v true_a and_o no_o illusion_n this_o happen_v but_o fifteen_o day_n after_o his_o death_n but_o still_o i_o be_v not_o slack_a in_o procure_v that_o he_o may_v be_v recommend_v to_o almighty_a god_n save_o that_o i_o can_v not_o do_v it_o so_o hearty_o as_o before_o i_o see_v this_o vision_n for_o when_o our_o lord_n show_v i_o such_o thing_n and_o that_o yet_o i_o will_v pray_v for_o they_o afterward_o i_o can_v choose_v but_o conceive_v that_o it_o be_v as_o if_o i_o give_v a_o alm_n to_o a_o rich_a man_n but_o now_o i_o come_v to_o understand_v afterward_o for_o the_o man_n die_v very_o far_o off_o that_o the_o death_n which_o our_o lord_n grant_v he_o be_v of_o so_o great_a comfort_n to_o he_o by_o the_o knowledge_n of_o himself_o and_o by_o the_o humility_n which_o he_o express_v that_o it_o be_v of_o very_o great_a edification_n now_o a_o certain_a religious_a woman_n die_v at_o home_n with_o we_o about_o a_o day_n and_o a_o half_a before_o that_o occur_v whereof_o i_o be_o go_v to_o speak_v but_o she_o have_v be_v a_o good_a servant_n of_o almighty_a god_n and_o another_o religious_a woman_n read_v one_o of_o those_o lesson_n which_o belong_v to_o the_o office_n of_o the_o dead_a which_o be_v recite_v in_o the_o choir_n for_o her_o soul_n it_o be_v my_o turn_n to_o stand_v by_o and_o assist_v in_o repeat_v the_o versicle_n but_o in_o the_o midst_n of_o the_o lesson_n i_o think_v i_o see_v the_o soul_n rise_v up_o as_o the_o other_o do_v and_o so_o go_v to_o heaven_n now_o this_o be_v no_o imaginary_a vision_n like_o the_o last_o but_o like_o other_o which_o i_o recount_v before_o yet_o these_o be_v no_o less_o certain_a than_o those_o other_o be_v there_o be_v also_o another_o religious_a woman_n of_o between_o eighteen_o and_o twenty_o year_n old_a who_o die_v at_o home_n in_o our_o house_n now_o she_o have_v be_v always_o sickly_a and_o a_o great_a servant_n of_o god_n and_o very_o diligent_a in_o the_o choir_n and_o in_o fine_a a_o very_a virtuous_a woman_n and_o real_o i_o be_v apt_a to_o think_v that_o she_o shall_v not_o have_v go_v to_o purgatory_n at_o all_o but_o rather_o that_o there_o will_v have_v be_v supernumerarie_a merit_n in_o regard_n of_o the_o many_o sickness_n which_o she_o have_v endure_v but_o yet_o when_o we_o be_v recite_v the_o office_n before_o she_o be_v bury_v and_o some_o four_o hour_n after_o she_o die_v i_o understand_v that_o her_o soul_n spring_v up_o out_o of_o the_o same_o place_n and_o go_v to_o heaven_n be_v one_o day_n in_o a_o college_n of_o the_o society_n of_o jesus_n with_o those_o great_a affliction_n and_o trouble_n which_o i_o have_v declare_v myself_o sometime_o to_o have_v have_v and_o still_o have_v both_o in_o body_n and_o soul_n i_o find_v myself_o to_o be_v in_o such_o condition_n that_o i_o think_v i_o be_v not_o able_a so_o much_o as_o to_o entertain_v one_o good_a thought_n there_o die_v that_o night_n a_o brother_n of_o the_o society_n of_o that_o house_n and_o i_o recommend_v he_o the_o best_a i_o can_v to_o almighty_a god_n and_o be_v at_o the_o mass_n of_o another_o father_n of_o the_o society_n for_o his_o soul_n i_o be_v seize_v by_o a_o very_a great_a recollection_n and_o i_o see_v he_o goe-up_a to_o heaven_n with_o much_o glory_n yea_o and_o i_o understand_v that_o our_o bless_a lord_n himself_o do_v accompany_v he_o by_o way_n of_o particular_a favour_n a_o religious_a man_n of_o our_o order_n who_o be_v a_o very_a good_a man_n be_v fall_v very_o dangerous_o sick_a and_o i_o be_v then_o at_o mass_n grow_v to_o be_v in_o very_o great_a recollection_n and_o see_v that_o the_o man_n be_v dead_a and_o that_o he_o go_v instant_o to_o heaven_n without_o touch_v upon_o purgatory_n at_o all_o and_o he_o die_v in_o that_o very_a hour_n as_o i_o be_v tell_v afterward_o now_o i_o wonder_v that_o he_o have_v never_o enter_v into_o purgatory_n but_o i_o understand_v that_o he_o have_v be_v a_o religious_a man_n and_o have_v well_o observe_v the_o
and_o i_o believe_v it_o have_v be_v more_o than_o a_o month_n wherein_o i_o do_v almost_o nothing_o else_o but_o beg_v of_o almighty_a god_n that_o he_o will_v bring_v this_o soul_n back_o to_o himself_o and_o be_v in_o prayer_n one_o day_n i_o see_v a_o devil_n hard_a by_o i_o with_o certain_a paper_n in_o his_o hand_n which_o he_o be_v tear_v and_o he_o seem_v to_o be_v in_o a_o very_a great_a rage_n but_o this_o put_v i_o into_o much_o comfort_n because_o i_o conceive_v thereby_o that_o my_o suit_n be_v grant_v and_o so_o it_o be_v as_o i_o come_v to_o know_v afterward_o for_o the_o party_n have_v be_v at_o confession_n and_o have_v do_v it_o with_o great_a contrition_n and_o he_o return_v in_o so_o very_o good_a earnest_n to_o almighty_a god_n that_o i_o hope_v in_o his_o divine_a majesty_n he_o will_v ever_o go_v advance_v in_o his_o service_n and_o let_v he_o be_v bless_v for_o ever_o amen_n in_o this_o particular_a of_o procure_v our_o bless_a lord_n to_o bring_v soul_n out_o of_o grievous_a sin_n upon_o my_o humble_a suit_n and_o of_o other_o who_o be_v bring_v many_o time_n to_o more_o perfection_n and_o of_o fre_a soul_n also_o out_o of_o purgatory_n and_o of_o do_v other_o thing_n also_o of_o great_a importance_n the_o favour_n of_o our_o bless_a lord_n have_v be_v so_o great_a that_o i_o shall_v both_o weary_a myself_o and_o my_o reader_n if_o i_o will_v pretend_v to_o relate_v they_o and_o these_o thing_n have_v happen_v often_o to_o i_o for_o the_o benefit_n of_o soul_n then_o of_o body_n and_o this_o be_v so_o very_o well_o know_v that_o it_o have_v many_o witness_n but_o then_o instant_o there_o grow_v a_o kind_n of_o scruple_n upon_o i_o since_o i_o can_v not_o choose_v but_o believe_v that_o our_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o do_v diverse_a thing_n through_o my_o prayer_n for_o in_o this_o case_n and_o at_o this_o time_n i_o abstract_n from_o his_o goodness_n and_o mercy_n which_o be_v ever_o the_o chief_n cause_n of_o all_o thing_n but_o for_o the_o rest_n these_o be_v now_o so_o many_o particular_n and_o so_o well_o know_v by_o other_o that_o i_o have_v no_o difficulty_n at_o all_o to_o believe_v they_o and_o i_o bless_v his_o divine_a majesty_n for_o the_o same_o and_o they_o put_v i_o to_o great_a confusion_n because_o i_o still_o find_v myself_o to_o be_v more_o and_o more_o a_o debtor_n but_o that_o consideration_n make_v my_o desire_n to_o serve_v he_o increase_n and_o revive_v my_o love_n and_o which_o yet_o amaze_v i_o more_o those_o thing_n which_o our_o lord_n find_v not_o to_o be_v convenient_a i_o can_v scarce_o beg_v of_o his_o divine_a majesty_n even_o almost_o although_o i_o will_v and_o if_o i_o do_v it_o be_v with_o so_o little_a strength_n and_o spirit_n and_o care_n that_o although_o i_o will_v fain_o force_v myself_o yet_o it_o be_v even_o impossible_a for_o i_o to_o do_v it_o in_o these_o as_o i_o do_v it_o in_o those_o other_o which_o his_o divine_a majesty_n have_v a_o mind_n to_o effect_v for_o such_o i_o see_v i_o be_o able_a to_o beg_v often_o and_o that_o with_o great_a importunity_n and_o though_o i_o carry_v not_o the_o particular_a care_n of_o they_o about_o i_o yet_o i_o think_v they_o come_v before_o i_o of_o themselves_o so_o that_o the_o difference_n between_o these_o two_o way_n of_o ask_v be_v so_o very_o great_a as_o i_o be_o not_o able_a to_o declare_v for_o though_o i_o ask_v in_o one_o of_o these_o kind_n of_o thing_n wherein_o i_o forbear_v not_o to_o urge_v myself_o to_o beg_v they_o of_o our_o lord_n howsoever_o i_o feel_v not_o that_o kind_n of_o fervour_n in_o myself_o which_o i_o do_v in_o those_o other_o and_o though_o they_o chance_v to_o import_v my_o own_o particular_a very_o much_o yet_o be_v it_o in_o effect_n but_o as_o when_o a_o man_n chance_v to_o be_v toung-tyed_n who_o although_o he_o will_v fain_o speak_v yet_o he_o can_v do_v it_o and_o if_o he_o speak_v it_o be_v but_o in_o such_o sort_n as_o that_o he_o see_v it_o can_v be_v understand_v whereas_o the_o other_o be_v as_o when_o a_o man_n speak_v clear_a and_o plain_a to_o a_o man_n who_o he_o find_v very_o willing_a to_o hear_v he_o or_o else_o let_v we_o say_v that_o one_o of_o those_o favour_n be_v beg_v as_o by_o a_o vocal_a prayer_n and_o the_o other_o as_o in_o a_o way_n of_o contemplation_n which_o be_v so_o very_o sublime_a that_o our_o lord_n represent_v himself_o in_o such_o sort_n as_o that_o we_o understand_v that_o he_o understand_v we_o and_o that_o his_o divine_a majesty_n be_v joy_v to_o see_v that_o we_o beg_v any_o thing_n of_o he_o that_o so_o he_o may_v do_v we_o favour_n bless_a be_v he_o for_o ever_o who_o give_v we_o so_o much_o and_o to_o who_o i_o give_v so_o little_a for_o what_o o_o my_o lord_n do_v any_o man_n who_o do_v not_o even_o defeat_v himself_o whole_o for_o thou_o and_o yet_o how_o much_o how_o much_o how_o much_o and_o a_o thousand_o time_n more_o i_o may_v say_v how_o much_o be_o i_o want_v herein_o and_o now_o upon_o this_o reason_n i_o shall_v not_o so_o much_o as_o once_o desire_v even_o to_o live_v though_o yet_o i_o have_v other_o reason_n also_o not_o to_o desire_v it_o because_o i_o live_v not_o according_a to_o my_o obligation_n towards_o thou_o nay_o how_o full_a do_v i_o see_v myself_o of_o imperfection_n and_o with_o what_o faintness_n and_o baseness_n do_v i_o serve_v thou_o and_o real_o i_o think_v sometime_o i_o wish_v that_o i_o be_v even_o deprive_v of_o sense_n that_o so_o i_o may_v not_o understand_v so_o very_a much_o ill_n of_o myself_o as_o i_o do_v yet_o i_o beseech_v he_o to_o redress_v it_o all_o who_o know_v so_o well_o how_o to_o do_v it_o but_o i_o remember_v i_o speak_v before_o of_o my_o be_v in_o the_o house_n of_o a_o certain_a great_a lady_n where_o i_o assure_v you_o folk_n have_v good_a reason_n to_o have_v their_o wit_n well_o about_o they_o and_o always_o to_o be_v consider_v the_o vanity_n which_o worldly_a thing_n carry_v with_o they_o for_o she_o be_v a_o person_n very_o much_o esteem_v and_o very_o much_o praise_v and_o there_o be_v temptation_n enough_o towards_o less_o perfection_n through_o much_o distraction_n whereby_o one_o may_v easy_o have_v be_v shrewd_o take_v if_o i_o have_v look_v upon_o nothing_o but_o myself_o but_o he_o who_o judge_v right_o and_o look_n upon_o we_o with_o true_a sight_n indeed_o be_v careful_a not_o to_o give_v over_o the_o keep_v i_o ever_o safe_a in_o his_o hand_n and_o now_o when_o i_o be_o speak_v of_o have_v a_o true_a and_o real_a sight_n of_o thing_n i_o remember_v and_o consider_v the_o great_a trouble_n which_o any_o such_o person_n as_o who_o it_o have_v please_v almighty_a god_n to_o endue_v with_o a_o knowledge_n of_o that_o which_o indeed_o be_v truth_n must_v needs_o be_v put_v to_o when_o he_o be_v force_v to_o treat_v with_o other_o about_o thing_n which_o concern_v this_o transitory_a and_o troublesome_a world_n where_o all_fw-mi in_o fine_a be_v much_o disguise_v and_o mask_v as_o our_o lord_n himself_o tell_v i_o once_o but_o in_o the_o mean_a time_n many_o of_o those_o thing_n which_o i_o write_v here_o be_v by_o no_o mean_n of_o my_o own_o head_n but_o they_o have_v be_v tell_v i_o by_o that_o heavenly_a master_n of_o i_o and_o because_o in_o all_o those_o thing_n which_o i_o be_o wont_a to_o affirm_v after_o a_o direct_a and_o positive_a manner_n i_o use_v to_o express_v myself_o by_o these_o word_n this_o i_o understand_v or_o else_o our_o lord_n tell_v i_o this_o i_o find_v myself_o with_o a_o very_a great_a scruple_n of_o either_o add_v or_o any_o way_n alter_v so_o much_o as_o any_o one_o syllable_n thereof_o and_o so_o whensoever_o i_o do_v not_o most_o express_o remember_v every_o circumstance_n of_o any_o thing_n of_o this_o kind_n which_o be_v to_o be_v relate_v by_o i_o i_o be_o wont_a to_o deliver_v that_o always_o as_o in_o my_o own_o name_n or_o else_o because_o sometime_o they_o proceed_v from_o my_o own_o particular_a dictaman_n i_o use_v not_o to_o call_v any_o thing_n i_o which_o be_v good_a in_o itself_o because_o indeed_o i_o be_o far_o enough_o from_o be_v ignorant_a that_o any_o such_o thing_n as_o be_v in_o i_o be_v good_a but_o i_o affirm_v only_o those_o thing_n as_o in_o my_o own_o name_n and_o they_o be_v deliver_v as_o by_o myself_o which_o do_v not_o come_v into_o my_o understanding_n and_o knowledge_n by_o way_n of_o revelation_n but_o o_o my_o dear_a lord_n and_o my_o god_n and_o how_o often_o do_v it_o happen_v to_o we_o here_o that_o even_o in_o the_o most_o spiritual_a occasion_n we_o be_v resolve_v many_o
there_o and_o now_o by_o mean_n of_o this_o consideration_n my_o soul_n begin_v to_o be_v so_o much_o more_o inflame_v that_o my_o spirit_n grow_v to_o be_v in_o rapt_v and_o so_o as_o that_o i_o know_v not_o how_o to_o express_v it_o for_o i_o think_v i_o be_v put_v and_o plunge_v into_o that_o majesty_n which_o i_o have_v former_o understand_v but_o yet_o so_o as_o that_o i_o know_v not_o how_o to_o declare_v it_o in_o this_o majesty_n a_o certain_a truth_n be_v give_v i_o to_o be_v understand_v which_o indeed_o be_v the_o accomplishment_n of_o all_o truth_n but_o yet_o still_o i_o know_v not_o how_o to_o relate_v it_o for_o i_o see_v nothing_o at_o all_o distinct_o but_o they_o tell_v i_o these_o word_n though_o yet_o i_o see_v not_o who_o speak_v they_o only_o i_o know_v that_o it_o be_v the_o very_a truth_n this_o which_o i_o do_v for_o thou_o be_v no_o small_a matter_n but_o rather_o it_o be_v a_o thing_n for_o which_o thou_o ow_a i_o much_o because_o one_o of_o the_o mischief_n which_o grow_n to_o the_o world_n proceed_v from_o not_o know_v the_o truth_n of_o scripture_n with_o clear_a truth_n but_o one_o tittle_n thereof_o shall_v not_o fail_v now_o as_o for_o i_o i_o conceive_v that_o myself_o have_v always_o believe_v this_o yea_o and_o that_o all_o catholic_n have_v also_o believe_v it_o but_o then_o he_o say_v to_o i_o again_o alas_o my_o daughter_n there_o be_v few_o who_o love_v i_o according_a to_o truth_n for_o if_o they_o do_v i_o will_v not_o conceal_v my_o secret_n from_o they_o but_o do_v thou_o know_v what_o it_o be_v to_o love_v i_o according_a to_o truth_n it_o be_v to_o know_v that_o all_o be_v a_o lie_n which_o be_v not_o acceptable_a to_o i_o thou_o shall_v be_v able_a to_o see_v this_o clear_o which_o now_o thou_o do_v not_o understand_v by_o the_o profit_n which_o thy_o soul_n shall_v get_v and_o so_o according_o i_o have_v see_v it_o perform_v our_o lord_n be_v ever_o praise_v for_o it_o for_o all_o thing_n which_o be_v not_o address_v to_o the_o service_n of_o almighty_a god_n do_v of_o late_a seem_v to_o i_o so_o huge_o to_o be_v vanity_n and_o a_o lie_n that_o i_o be_o no_o way_n able_a to_o express_v how_o much_o i_o understand_v thereof_o and_o it_o move_v i_o to_o deep_a compassion_n to_o see_v man_n live_v in_o so_o great_a obscurity_n and_o ignorance_n as_o they_o be_v in_o of_o thy_o truth_n but_o by_o this_o mean_n i_o have_v benefit_v myself_o in_o many_o kind_n whereof_o i_o will_v here_o relate_v some_o and_o some_o i_o shall_v not_o be_v able_a to_o relate_v but_o our_o lord_n say_v one_o word_n to_o i_o here_o in_o particular_a with_o very_o great_a favour_n though_o i_o know_v not_o also_o how_o this_o be_v for_o i_o see_v nothing_o but_o i_o remain_v in_o such_o sort_n after_o it_o as_o i_o know_v not_o also_o how_o to_o declare_v even_o that_o only_o i_o be_o sure_a i_o remain_v by_o this_o mean_n with_o a_o very_a great_a kind_n of_o fortitude_n and_o firm_a purpose_n of_o accomplish_v even_o the_o least_o part_n of_o holy_a scripture_n with_o the_o uttermost_a of_o all_o my_o power_n and_o nothing_o i_o think_v can_v offer_v itself_o to_o i_o through_o which_o i_o will_v not_o pass_v for_o the_o make_v this_o good_a there_o remain_v also_o a_o truth_n of_o this_o divine_a truth_n which_o be_v now_o represent_v to_o i_o though_o yet_o still_o i_o know_v not_o how_o so_o deep_o engrave_v in_o my_o hart_n that_o it_o make_v i_o carry_v a_o new_a kind_n of_o profound_a reverence_n to_o almighty_a god_n for_o it_o impart_v a_o notice_n of_o his_o high_a majesty_n and_o great_a power_n after_o such_o a_o manner_n as_o can_v be_v describe_v but_o i_o can_v only_o understand_v that_o it_o be_v a_o mighty_a kind_n of_o thing_n i_o now_o remain_v also_o with_o a_o very_a great_a desire_n never_o to_o speak_v at_o all_o but_o of_o thing_n which_o be_v substantial_o true_a and_o which_o may_v just_o take_v precedence_n of_o all_o that_o which_o use_v to_o be_v treat_v of_o in_o this_o world_n and_o so_o i_o then_o begin_v to_o find_v it_o pain_n enough_o even_o to_o live_v in_o it_o this_o vision_n leave_v i_o with_o a_o regalo_n of_o great_a tenderness_n and_o with_o humility_n also_o it_o seem_v to_o i_o that_o our_o bless_a lord_n do_v give_v i_o to_o understand_v much_o in_o this_o vision_n though_o yet_o without_o my_o understanding_n the_o manner_n of_o it_o but_o at_o least_o i_o be_v satisfy_v well_o enough_o that_o it_o be_v no_o illusion_n i_o see_v nothing_o but_o yet_o i_o understand_v the_o great_a benefit_n which_o there_o be_v in_o not_o make_v account_n of_o any_o thing_n which_o bring_v we_o not_o near_o to_o almighty_a god_n and_o so_o i_o come_v to_o understand_v what_o kind_n of_o thing_n it_o be_v for_o a_o soul_n to_o walk_v in_o truth_n in_o the_o presence_n of_o the_o same_o truth_n that_o which_o i_o understand_v be_v that_o our_o lord_n give_v i_o to_o understand_v that_o he_o be_v very_a truth_n itself_o and_o all_o these_o thing_n at_o which_o i_o have_v now_o point_v here_o i_o understand_v sometime_o by_o their_o be_v speak_v to_o i_o and_o at_o other_o time_n without_o speech_n but_o yet_o some_o of_o this_o latter_a sort_n with_o more_o clearness_n than_o those_o other_o which_o be_v impart_v to_o i_o by_o word_n i_o understand_v very_o great_a truth_n of_o this_o truth_n and_o better_o then_o if_o many_o learned_a man_n have_v teach_v i_o and_o at_o least_o it_o seem_v to_o i_o that_o they_o can_v by_o no_o mean_n have_v so_o imprint_v they_o in_o my_o mind_n nor_o so_o clear_o have_v give_v i_o to_o understand_v the_o vanity_n of_o this_o world_n this_o truth_n which_o i_o say_v be_v give_v i_o to_o be_v understand_v be_v very_a truth_n in_o itself_o and_o it_o be_v both_o without_o beginning_n and_o without_o end_n and_o all_o other_o truth_n depend_v upon_o this_o truth_n and_o all_o other_o love_n upon_o this_o love_n and_o all_o other_o greatness_n upon_o this_o greatness_n though_o yet_o all_o this_o be_v deliver_v by_o i_o with_o much_o obscurity_n in_o comparison_n of_o that_o clearness_n wherewith_o our_o bless_a lord_n be_v please_v to_o impart_v it_o and_o how_o very_o well_o do_v this_o become_v the_o great_a power_n of_o that_o majesty_n to_o leave_v such_o thing_n as_o these_o imprint_v upon_o the_o soul_n whereby_o such_o advantage_n be_v obtain_v and_o that_o in_o so_o short_a a_o time_n o_o greatness_n and_o majesty_n of_o my_o omnipotent_a lord_n what_o be_v it_o which_o thou_o be_v do_v consider_v who_o it_o be_v to_o who_o thou_o be_v vouchsafe_v such_o sovereign_a favour_n do_v thou_o not_o remember_v how_o this_o soul_n have_v be_v a_o very_a abyss_n of_o lie_n and_o even_o a_o deep_a sea_n of_o vanity_n and_o all_o this_o through_o fault_n of_o my_o own_o for_o notwithstanding_o that_o thou_o give_v i_o a_o inclination_n which_o natural_o do_v abhor_v lie_v yet_o i_o make_v myself_o apt_a to_o treat_v in_o many_o thing_n after_o a_o deceitful_a kind_n of_o manner_n how_o be_v thou_o able_a o_o my_o god_n even_o to_o endure_v i_o and_o how_o can_v so_o great_a goodness_n of_o thou_o be_v show_v to_o one_o who_o have_v so_o ill_o deserve_v it_o and_o how_o can_v so_o much_o sin_n against_o thou_o be_v compatible_a with_o such_o favour_n as_o these_o be_v once_o recite_v the_o hour_n of_o the_o divine_a office_n with_o all_o the_o rest_n of_o the_o religious_a my_o soul_n begin_v to_o be_v sudden_o recollect_v and_o it_o seem_v to_o i_o that_o it_o be_v like_o some_o clear_a and_o pure_a lookingglass_n without_o have_v any_o thing_n either_o on_o the_o back_n or_o on_o the_o side_n or_o yet_o either_o above_o or_o below_o which_o be_v not_o all_o extreme_o clear_a and_o in_o the_o very_a centre_n thereof_o christ_n our_o lord_n be_v represent_v to_o i_o just_a so_o as_o i_o be_o accustom_v to_o see_v he_o it_o seem_v to_o i_o that_o i_o see_v he_o clear_o in_o all_o the_o part_n and_o portion_n of_o my_o soul_n as_o in_o a_o lookingglass_n and_o so_o also_o though_o i_o know_v not_o how_o our_o bless_a lord_n himself_o be_v engrave_v therein_o with_o such_o a_o certain_a kind_n of_o enamour_a communion_n or_o communication_n of_o himself_o as_o i_o can_v possible_o express_v only_o i_o know_v that_o this_o vision_n have_v be_v of_o very_o great_a benefit_n to_o i_o and_o be_v so_o whensoever_o i_o remember_v it_o and_o especial_o after_o i_o receive_v the_o b._n sacrament_n but_o it_o be_v give_v i_o hereby_o to_o understand_v that_o the_o be_v of_o a_o soul_n in_o mortal_a sin_n be_v to_o make_v this_o glass_n be_v cover_v
with_o a_o great_a cloud_n and_o so_o to_o become_v very_o dark_a and_o that_o so_o though_o our_o bless_a lord_n be_v ever_o present_a with_o we_o yea_o so_o very_o present_a as_o that_o he_o give_v we_o our_o very_a be_v thereby_o yet_o then_o he_o be_v not_o so_o represent_v as_o to_o be_v see_v by_o we_o and_o that_o when_o the_o case_n concern_v heretic_n the_o lookingglass_n be_v direct_o break_v which_o be_v far_o worse_a then_o to_o be_v obscure_v but_o now_o there_o be_v a_o very_a great_a deal_n of_o difference_n between_o my_o see_v it_o and_o my_o relate_v it_o for_o it_o be_v no_o easy_a thing_n to_o give_v it_o well_o to_o be_v understand_v yet_o this_o have_v do_v i_o a_o great_a deal_n of_o good_a and_o have_v affect_v i_o with_o much_o pity_n and_o grief_n for_o those_o time_n wherein_o myself_o do_v obscure_v my_o soul_n in_o such_o sort_n as_o that_o i_o be_v not_o able_a to_o behold_v and_o see_v this_o bless_a lord_n of_o i_o it_o seem_v also_o to_o i_o that_o this_o kind_n of_o vision_n be_v very_o useful_a to_o person_n who_o be_v of_o much_o recollection_n to_o teach_v they_o a_o way_n of_o think_v of_o our_o bless_a lord_n as_o in_o the_o most_o interior_a part_n of_o their_o soul_n which_o be_v a_o consideration_n that_o will_v stick_v close_a to_o then_o and_o will_v be_v of_o much_o more_o benefit_n then_o if_o they_o be_v consider_v as_o any_o way_n our_o of_o the_o soul_n according_a to_o what_o i_o have_v say_v else_o where_o and_o it_o be_v contain_v also_o in_o some_o book_n which_o be_v write_v of_o prayer_n about_o the_o way_n how_o we_o be_v to_o seek_v almighty_a god_n in_o particular_a the_o glorious_a s._n augustin_n speak_v much_o of_o how_o almighty_a god_n be_v not_o to_o be_v seek_v either_o in_o pleasure_n or_o external_a place_n and_o that_o he_o can_v be_v no_o way_n find_v so_o well_o as_o in_o ourselves_o and_o this_o be_v certain_o the_o best_a way_n nor_o have_v we_o need_v to_o go_v further_o off_o then_o to_o our_o very_a self_n and_o much_o less_o to_o clime-up_a as_o high_a as_o heaven_n for_o this_o purpose_n for_o this_o will_v but_o distract_v the_o soul_n and_o weary_a the_o spirit_n and_o do_v we_o nothing_o near_o so_o much_o good_a i_o will_v also_o give_v a_o advertisement_n here_o to_o the_o end_n that_o if_o any_o body_n have_v any_o such_o thing_n as_o that_o he_o may_v know_v the_o better_a how_o to_o carry_v himself_o it_o happen_v in_o some_o very_a great_a rapt_n when_o the_o time_n be_v past_a wherein_o the_o soul_n remain_v in_o union_n and_o when_o all_o the_o faculty_n and_o power_n thereof_o be_v absorb_v and_o which_o last_v as_o i_o have_v say_v but_o a_o little_a while_n that_o the_o soul_n remain_v recollect_v and_o be_v not_o able_a in_o the_o exterior_a way_n to_o return_v to_o itself_o but_o those_o two_o power_n and_o faculty_n namely_o the_o understanding_n and_o memory_n remain_v as_o with_o a_o kind_n of_o frenzy_n in_o great_a disorder_n this_o i_o say_v happen_v sometime_o and_o especial_o with_o beginner_n and_o i_o have_v be_v think_v whether_o it_o may_v not_o proceed_v from_o this_o that_o our_o condition_n be_v natural_o very_o weak_a and_o not_o able_a to_o admit_v and_o endure_v so_o great_a a_o strength_n of_o spirit_n and_o that_o the_o imagination_n be_v weaken_v also_o much_o and_o i_o know_v that_o this_o happen_v to_o some_o now_o for_o my_o part_n i_o be_o apt_a to_o think_v that_o it_o be_v not_o ill_o to_o oblige_v they_o in_o such_o case_n as_o this_o to_o leave-off_a their_o prayer_n for_o that_o time_n and_o to_o go_v recover_v that_o afterward_o which_o they_o lose_v then_o that_o so_o all_o come_v not_o on_o together_o for_o it_o may_v chance_n prove_v a_o occasion_n of_o much_o inconvenience_n and_o of_o this_o we_o have_v experience_n and_o that_o it_o will_v fall_v out_o to_o be_v of_o better_a proof_n to_o consider_v very_o well_o how_o much_o our_o state_n of_o health_n and_o strength_n be_v able_a to_o endure_v but_o in_o all_o thing_n there_o will_v be_v need_n of_o good_a experience_n and_o of_o a_o good_a director_n for_o when_o once_o the_o soul_n be_v grow_v to_o be_v in_o these_o term_n many_o thing_n will_v come_v to_o offer_v themselves_o wherein_o there_o will_v be_v need_n enough_o of_o some_o body_n with_o who_o it_o may_v be_v fit_a to_o consider_v they_o and_o if_o any_o such_o man_n can_v not_o be_v find_v when_o he_o be_v seek_v our_o bless_a lord_n himself_o will_v not_o be_v want_v to_o he_o since_o he_o will_v not_o be_v want_v to_o i_o i_o be_v the_o wicked_a creature_n i_o be_o for_o i_o believe_v there_o be_v very_o few_o who_o be_v come_v to_o have_v experience_n of_o so_o many_o thing_n and_o if_o there_o be_v not_o experience_n it_o be_v in_o vain_a to_o think_v of_o any_o remedy_n which_o will_v not_o rather_o serve_v to_o disquiet_v and_o afflict_v the_o soul_n but_o the_o best_a be_v that_o our_o bless_a lord_n will_v take_v even_o that_o trouble_n of_o we_o in_o account_n for_o some_o satisfaction_n of_o himself_o and_o therefore_o it_o will_v fallout_a to_o be_v better_o do_v to_o confer_v thereof_o as_o i_o have_v former_o say_v and_o so_o will_v it_o also_o be_v to_o proceed_v after_o this_o manner_n in_o all_o those_o thing_n whereof_o i_o be_o speak_v now_o for_o i_o see_v that_o this_o import_v very_o much_o especial_o if_o they_o be_v woman_n who_o be_v concern_v and_o that_o they_o do_v it_o with_o their_o ghostly_a father_n and_o that_o he_o also_o be_v such_o as_o be_v fit_a at_o least_o there_o use_v to_o be_v more_o woman_n than_o man_n to_o who_o our_o lord_n impart_v these_o favour_n and_o this_o i_o understand_v first_o from_o the_o holy_a man_n fray_n pedro_n de_fw-fr alcantara_n and_o i_o have_v also_o see_v myself_o that_o they_o proceed_v and_o profit_v more_o in_o this_o way_n of_o spirit_n than_o man_n do_v but_o he_o give_v excellent_a reason_n for_o his_o opinion_n which_o need_v not_o be_v insert_v here_o for_o they_o all_o be_v in_o favour_n of_o woman_n be_v one_o day_n in_o prayer_n there_o be_v sudden_o represent_v to_o i_o but_o it_o be_v without_o my_o see_v any_o thing_n form_v and_o yet_o it_o be_v with_o a_o very_a extraordinary_a kind_n of_o claritie_n how_o all_o thing_n be_v see_v in_o almighty_a god_n and_o how_o he_o have_v they_o all_o in_o himself_o to_o know_v how_o to_o set_v this_o down_o be_v in_o no_o power_n of_o i_o but_o it_o remain_v deep_o imprint_v in_o my_o soul_n and_o it_o be_v one_o of_o the_o great_a favour_n that_o ever_o have_v be_v do_v i_o by_o our_o bless_a lord_n yea_o and_o of_o those_o also_o which_o put_v i_o to_o great_a confusion_n &_o shame_n when_o i_o consider_v the_o many_o sin_n which_o i_o have_v commit_v against_o he_o i_o well_o believe_v that_o if_o our_o bless_a lord_n have_v be_v please_v to_o let_v i_o see_v this_o vision_n at_o some_o other_o time_n of_o my_o life_n or_o if_o they_o can_v see_v he_o now_o who_o be_v sin_v against_o he_o they_o will_v never_o have_v the_o hart_n and_o courage_n to_o do_v as_o they_o do_v it_o appear_v to_o i_o as_o i_o say_v but_o yet_o so_o as_o that_o i_o can_v express_o affirm_v that_o i_o see_v any_o thing_n distinct_o but_o yet_o somewhat_o i_o think_v must_v needs_o have_v be_v see_v by_o i_o since_o i_o be_o able_a to_o make_v this_o very_a comparison_n but_o that_o it_o fall_v out_o to_o be_v signify_v by_o so_o delicate_a and_o subtle_a a_o way_n as_o that_o the_o understanding_n be_v not_o able_a to_o reach_v it_o or_o else_o that_o i_o have_v no_o skill_n of_o all_o those_o kind_n of_o vision_n which_o seem_v not_o to_o be_v imaginary_a but_o yet_o in_o some_o of_o these_o i_o very_o think_v that_o perhaps_o there_o may_v be_v somewhat_o of_o the_o imaginary_a or_o form_v appearance_n and_o that_o only_o the_o power_n of_o the_o soul_n be_v then_o in_o rapt_v they_o be_v not_o able_a afterward_o to_o assign_v any_o form_n in_o what_o manner_n our_o lord_n represent_v himself_o to_o they_o there_o and_o how_o he_o be_v please_v that_o they_o shall_v enjoy_v he_o but_o yet_o suppose_v it_o to_o be_v the_o divinity_n in_o the_o form_n of_o some_o bright_a diamond_n which_o be_v big_a than_o the_o whole_a world_n or_o else_o of_o some_o lookingglass_n after_o the_o manner_n of_o what_o i_o say_v before_o concern_v the_o soul_n in_o that_o other_o vision_n save_o that_o this_o be_v in_o so_o superior_a a_o kind_n of_o manner_n that_o i_o be_o not_o able_a to_o express_v it_o and_o that_o all_o that_o which_o we_o do_v be_v see_v
in_o this_o diamond_n it_o be_v such_o as_o that_o all_o thing_n be_v shutup_a in_o it_o because_o there_o be_v nothing_o which_o can_v get_v out_o of_o that_o greatness_n it_o be_v a_o thing_n extreme_o to_o amaze_v i_o to_o be_v able_a to_o see_v in_o so_o very_o short_a a_o time_n so_o many_o thing_n together_o in_o this_o bright_a diamond_n and_o so_o be_v it_o also_o matter_n of_o extreme_a compassion_n and_o grief_n for_o i_o every_o time_n that_o i_o remember_v myself_o to_o have_v see_v that_o thing_n so_o very_o ugly_a and_o foul_a as_o my_o sin_n be_v shall_v be_v represent_v and_o show_v in_o that_o so_o clearness_n of_o light_n and_o the_o truth_n be_v that_o whensoever_o i_o remember_v it_o i_o know_v not_o how_o it_o come_v to_o be_v possible_a for_o i_o to_o endure_v it_o and_o i_o do_v real_o then_o remain_v so_o extreme_o out_o of_o countenance_n and_o ashamed_a that_o i_o think_v i_o can_v not_o tell_v where_o to_o hide_v my_o head_n o_o vision_n that_o some_o creature_n or_o other_o be_v able_a to_o give_v this_o truth_n to_o be_v well_o understand_v by_o these_o people_n who_o commit_v dishonest_a filthy_a sin_n that_o so_o they_o may_v come_v to_o know_v that_o they_o be_v not_o secret_a and_o that_o almighty_a god_n have_v reason_n to_o be_v very_o sensible_a of_o those_o wrong_n since_o they_o be_v act_v so_o true_o in_o the_o presence_n of_o his_o divine_a majesty_n and_o that_o we_o carry_v ourselves_o with_o so_o base_a irreverence_n before_o he_o i_o see_v here_o also_o how_o just_o hell_n be_v deserve_v for_o any_o one_o mortal_a sin_n because_o it_o be_v pass_v our_o power_n to_o understand_v what_o a_o most_o grievous_a crime_n it_o be_v to_o commit_v it_o in_o the_o presence_n of_o so_o great_a a_o majesty_n and_o what_o a_o unspeakable_a distance_n and_o dissimilitude_n be_v find_v between_o that_o which_o he_o be_v and_o that_o which_o our_o sin_n be_v and_o how_o it_o appear_v even_o hereby_o so_o much_o the_o better_a how_o great_a his_o mercy_n be_v since_o notwithstanding_o he_o know_v all_o this_o he_o yet_o endure_v us._n it_o have_v also_o make_v i_o consider_v that_o if_o such_o a_o vision_n as_o this_o can_v leave_v the_o soul_n so_o extreme_o astonish_v and_o amaze_v what_o kind_n of_o thing_n will_v the_o day_n of_o judgement_n prove_v to_o be_v when_o this_o majesty_n of_o almighty_a god_n will_v show_v itself_o with_o all_o clearness_n and_o so_o we_o shall_v also_o clear_o see_v what_o kind_n of_o thing_n our_o sin_n be_v which_o we_o commit_v against_o he_o o_o my_o dear_a god_n what_o blindness_n be_v this_o which_o have_v seize_v i_o and_o i_o have_v often_o be_v amaze_v even_o whilst_o i_o have_v be_v write_v this_o and_o your_o reverence_n need_v be_v amaze_v at_o nothing_o but_o how_o i_o be_o able_a even_o to_o live_v whilst_o i_o be_o look_v both_o upon_o these_o thing_n and_o myself_o but_o let_v he_o be_v eternal_o bless_v who_o have_v vouchsafe_v to_o endure_v such_o thing_n at_o my_o hand_n be_v once_o in_o prayer_n in_o very_o great_a recollection_n and_o with_o much_o quietness_n and_o sweetness_n i_o think_v i_o be_v all_o emcompass_v with_o angel_n and_o very_o near_o to_o almighty_a god_n and_o i_o begin_v to_o be_v a_o humble_a suitor_n to_o his_o divine_a majesty_n for_o the_o benefit_n and_o advantage_n of_o his_o church_n and_o he_o give_v i_o to_o understand_v the_o much_o good_a which_o a_o certain_a order_n shall_v do_v the_o world_n in_o these_o latter_a time_n and_o the_o great_a courage_n wherewith_o the_o member_n thereof_o shall_v defend_v and_o uphold_v the_o catholic_a faith_n be_v once_o in_o prayer_n near_o the_o bless_a sacrament_n there_o appear_v to_o i_o a_o certain_a saint_n who_o order_n be_v in_o some_o decay_n he_o have_v a_o great_a book_n in_o his_o hand_n which_o he_o open_v and_o will_v i_o to_o read_v certains_fw-fr letter_n in_o it_o which_o be_v very_o legible_a and_o large_a and_o they_o say_v thus_o in_o future_a time_n this_o order_n shall_v flourish_v and_o have_v many_o martyr_n another_o time_n be_v at_o matin_n in_o the_o choir_n six_o or_o seven_o person_n be_v represent_v and_o set_v before_o i_o and_o i_o hold_v they_o to_o be_v of_o the_o same_o order_n and_o they_o have_v sword_n in_o their_o hand_n and_o i_o conceive_v that_o i_o be_v give_v thereby_o to_o understand_v that_o they_o shall_v defend_v the_o faith_n for_o be_v in_o prayer_n another_o time_n and_o rapt_v in_o spirit_n i_o think_v i_o be_v in_o a_o very_a spavous_a field_n where_o many_o be_v who_o fight_v and_o they_o of_o this_o order_n do_v also_o fight_v with_o great_a fervour_n they_o have_v their_o face_n beautiful_a and_o much_o inflame_v and_o they_o beat_v multitude_n of_o man_n down_o to_o the_o ground_n and_o killed_z other_o this_o battle_n seem_v to_o be_v give_v against_o heretic_n &_o i_o have_v see_v this_o glorious_a saint_n diverse_a time_n and_o he_o have_v tell_v i_o some_o thing_n and_o give_v i_o thanks_n for_o the_o prayer_n which_o i_o make_v for_o his_o order_n and_o he_o have_v promise_v that_o he_o will_v recommend_v i_o to_o our_o bless_a lord_n i_o specifye_v not_o the_o several_a order_n here_o lest_o some_o shall_v be_v offend_v at_o it_o and_o if_o our_o lord_n shall_v think_v it_o convenient_a he_o may_v declare_v they_o but_o every_o order_n shall_v procure_v and_o so_o shall_v every_o particular_a man_n of_o every_o order_n that_o in_o so_o great_a a_o necessity_n as_o that_o wherein_o the_o church_n be_v at_o this_o time_n they_o may_v be_v able_a to_o serve_v she_o for_o happy_a be_v those_o life_n which_o may_v come_v to_o loose_v themselves_o upon_o this_o occasion_n a_o certain_a person_n desire_v i_o once_o to_o beg_v of_o almighty_a god_n that_o i_o may_v understand_v whether_o or_o no_o it_o will_v be_v for_o the_o service_n of_o his_o divine_a majesty_n that_o he_o shall_v take_v a_o bishopric_n i_o do_v so_o and_o our_o lord_n make_v i_o this_o answer_n after_o i_o have_v communicate_v when_o he_o shall_v understand_v with_o all_o clearness_n and_o truth_n that_o true_a dominion_n consist_v in_o possess_v nothing_o he_o may_v take_v it_o then_o give_v thereby_o to_o understand_v that_o whosoever_o be_v to_o be_v a_o prelate_n must_v be_v very_o far_o from_o so_o much_o as_o desire_v it_o and_o yet_o further_o from_o procure_v it_o these_o favour_n and_o many_o other_o also_o have_v be_v and_o be_v still_o very_o ordinary_o show_v by_o our_o bless_a lord_n to_o this_o sinful_a woman_n which_o i_o think_v be_v not_o very_o necesarie_a to_o be_v relate_v since_o by_o those_o which_o be_v deliver_v already_o my_o soul_n together_o with_o the_o spirit_n which_o our_o lord_n have_v give_v i_o may_v be_v understand_v but_o let_v he_o be_v ever_o bless_v who_o have_v have_v so_o much_o care_n of_o i_o he_o tell_v i_o once_o by_o way_n of_o comfort_v i_o that_o i_o must_v not_o afflict_v myself_o and_o this_o he_o do_v with_o most_o tender_a love_n for_o that_o in_o this_o life_n of_o we_o we_o can_v not_o possible_o be_v always_o after_o the_o same_o manner_n but_o that_o sometime_o i_o will_v be_v in_o fervour_n and_o sometime_o without_o it_o sometime_o with_o unquietnes_n and_o temptation_n and_o sometime_o without_o they_o and_o in_o peace_n but_o that_o i_o must_v hope_v in_o he_o and_o fear_v nothing_o be_v one_o day_n in_o thought_n and_o doubt_v whether_o it_o be_v not_o a_o kind_n of_o be_v tie_v to_o creature_n to_o be_v glad_a to_o be_v with_o such_o person_n as_o with_o who_o i_o treat_v the_o business_n of_o my_o soul_n and_o to_o love_n both_o they_o and_o other_o also_o who_o i_o find_v to_o be_v the_o servant_n of_o almighty_a god_n and_o to_o receive_v comfort_n by_o be_v with_o they_o he_o tell_v i_o that_o if_o when_o a_o man_n be_v dangerous_o sick_a the_o presence_n of_o a_o physician_n seem_v even_o to_o restore_v he_o to_o health_n it_o will_v not_o be_v a_o virtue_n to_o forbear_v to_o be_v glad_a of_o he_o and_o to_o love_v he_o and_o what_o say_v he_o will_v thou_o have_v do_v if_o it_o have_v not_o be_v for_o such_o as_o they_o that_o he_o dislike_v not_o that_o conversation_n shall_v be_v hold_v with_o such_o as_o be_v good_a but_o that_o my_o word_n must_v ever_o be_v well_o consider_v and_o holy_a and_o that_o so_o it_o will_v be_v rather_o profitable_a to_o i_o then_o hurtful_a not_o to_o give-ove_a communication_n with_o they_o now_o this_o impart_v a_o particular_a comfort_n to_o i_o for_o sometime_o it_o will_v seem_v to_o be_v a_o have_v too_o great_a a_o tie_n upon_o creature_n which_o make_v i_o once_o incline_v to_o give-ove_a the_o custom_n
i_o have_v to_o converse_v with_o they_o but_o our_o lord_n do_v ever_o counsel_v i_o in_o all_o thing_n yea_o so_o far_o as_o even_o to_o tell_v i_o how_o i_o shall_v carry_v myself_o towards_o weak_a person_n and_o some_o other_o also_o and_o he_o never_o lay_v the_o care_n of_o i_o aside_o but_o i_o be_o much_o trouble_v to_o find_v that_o i_o be_o good_a for_o so_o little_a in_o his_o service_n as_o also_o that_o i_o can_v do_v the_o less_o through_o my_o spend_v more_o time_n than_o i_o wiâ—h_v upon_o so_o weak_a and_o waste_v a_o body_n as_o i_o be_v as_o i_o be_v once_o in_o prayer_n and_o the_o hour_n of_o our_o go_v to_o rest_n come_v on_o i_o find_v myself_o in_o a_o great_a deal_n of_o pain_n and_o know_v that_o my_o ordinary_a vomit_n will_v arrive_v and_o obserue_v myself_o to_o be_v so_o tyed-up_a to_o these_o care_n and_o the_o spirit_n on_o the_o other_o side_n desit_v to_o have_v some_o time_n for_o itself_o i_o grow_v to_o be_v even_o so_o tire_v that_o i_o begin_v to_o be_v great_o afflict_v and_o to_o weep_v much_o and_o that_o happen_v very_o often_o to_o i_o and_o this_o condition_n put_v i_o to_o such_o a_o kind_n of_o anger_n that_o i_o think_v i_o do_v in_o those_o time_n even_o abhor_v myself_o though_o yet_o it_o be_v true_a withal_o that_o i_o do_v not_o abhor_v myself_o indeed_o nor_o yet_o be_o want_v in_o what_o be_v necessary_a for_o i_o and_o i_o rather_o pray_v god_n that_o i_o take_v not_o more_o care_n of_o myself_o than_o i_o shall_v and_o so_o i_o fear_v i_o do_v but_o now_o whilst_o i_o be_v in_o this_o grief_n our_o lord_n appear_v to_o i_o and_o regale_v i_o very_o much_o and_o tell_v i_o that_o i_o must_v endure_v these_o trouble_n and_o goe-through_a with_o they_o for_o love_n of_o he_o and_o that_o my_o life_n be_v necessary_a yet_o and_o so_o i_o think_v i_o never_o see_v myself_o in_o any_o very_a great_a pain_n which_o i_o value_v since_o i_o resolve_v to_o serve_v this_o lord_n and_o comforter_n of_o i_o with_o all_o my_o power_n for_o though_o he_o permit_v i_o to_o suffer_v a_o little_a yet_o will_v he_o still_o be_v assist_v i_o so_o withal_o that_o i_o esteem_v not_o myself_o to_o do_v much_o in_o desire_v to_o suffer_v affliction_n for_o his_o sake_n so_o that_o now_o i_o think_v there_o be_v no_o reason_n why_o we_o shall_v even_o desire_v so_o much_o as_o to_o live_v but_o only_o to_o the_o end_n that_o we_o may_v suffer_v and_o according_o this_o be_v the_o thing_n which_o i_o beg_v with_o most_o affection_n of_o almighty_a god_n and_o sometime_o i_o be_o say_v to_o he_o with_o my_o whole_a hart_n o_o lord_n let_v i_o either_o suffer_v or_o die_v for_o i_o beg_v no_o other_o thing_n of_o thou_o for_o myself_o and_o now_o it_o use_v to_o comfort_v i_o to_o hear_v the_o clock_n strike_v for_o so_o i_o think_v i_o be_o grow_v a_o little_a near_o to_o the_o see_v of_o god_n though_o it_o be_v but_o a_o little_a because_o one_o hour_n more_o of_o my_o life_n be_v past_a at_o other_o time_n i_o find_v myself_o in_o such_o sort_n that_o i_o neither_o take_v much_o pleasure_n in_o live_v nor_o yet_o i_o think_v have_v any_o great_a mind_n to_o die_v and_o so_o in_o the_o mean_a time_n i_o remain_v with_o a_o kind_n of_o stupidity_n and_o darkness_n of_o mind_n in_o all_o thing_n and_o many_o time_n i_o also_o have_v some_o trouble_n and_o since_o our_o lord_n be_v please_v that_o those_o favour_n shall_v be_v public_o know_v which_o his_o divine_a majesty_n vouchsafe_v to_o show_v i_o as_o he_o himself_o have_v tell_v i_o some_o year_n ago_o that_o they_o shall_v be_v which_o give_v i_o vexation_n enough_o and_o it_o be_v not_o a_o little_a that_o i_o have_v endure_v therein_o as_o your_o reverence_n know_v for_o every_o body_n will_v understand_v thing_n as_o he_o list_n i_o comfort_v myself_o yet_o with_o this_o that_o it_o have_v not_o arrive_v by_o my_o fault_n because_o i_o never_o speak_v of_o any_o such_o thing_n but_o either_o to_o my_o ghostly_a father_n or_o other_o who_o i_o know_v even_o by_o they_o have_v understand_v thereof_o for_o of_o this_o i_o be_v very_o wary_a even_o to_o extremity_n though_o yet_o perhaps_o i_o abstain_v not_o so_o much_o for_o respect_n of_o humility_n as_o in_o regard_n that_o i_o have_v pain_n enough_o to_o tell_v even_o my_o ghostly_a father_n thereof_o and_o therefore_o how_o much_o less_o will_v i_o impart_v thing_n of_o this_o nature_n to_o other_o but_o now_o i_o earnest_o desire_v that_o almighty_a god_n may_v receive_v glory_n by_o it_o howsoever_o there_o be_v some_o who_o murmur_n at_o i_o very_o much_o upon_o this_o occasion_n though_o even_o yet_o i_o think_v they_o may_v peradventure_o do_v it_o with_o good_a zeal_n and_o there_o be_v other_o who_o be_v afraid_a even_o to_o treat_v with_o i_o in_o any_o kind_n yea_o and_o even_o to_o receive_v the_o confession_n of_o my_o sin_n and_o other_o say_v also_o other_o thing_n but_o how_o soever_o since_o i_o understand_v that_o it_o have_v please_v our_o bless_a lord_n to_o reduce_v many_o soul_n by_o this_o mean_n and_o because_o i_o see_v clear_o and_o remember_v continual_o how_o much_o himself_o will_v be_v please_v to_o endure_v for_o the_o gain_n of_o one_o soul_n i_o allow_v myself_o to_o take_v little_a trouble_n for_o any_o thing_n which_o man_n can_v say_v of_o i_o and_o i_o know_v not_o whether_o or_o no_o this_o may_v not_o have_v be_v a_o part_n of_o the_o cause_n why_o his_o divine_a majesty_n have_v place_v i_o in_o this_o little_a corner_n of_o the_o world_n where_o i_o be_o so_o shut_v up_o and_o where_o i_o think_v there_o will_v be_v no_o more_o memory_n of_o i_o then_o of_o a_o thing_n which_o be_v dead_a but_o their_o forgerfulnes_n be_v not_o so_o great_a as_o i_o wish_v and_o so_o i_o have_v be_v constrain_v to_o speak_v sometime_o with_o some_o person_n yet_o howsoever_o i_o be_o not_o now_o where_o the_o world_n may_v easy_o see_v i_o for_o it_o seem_v that_o our_o lord_n have_v be_v please_v to_o drive_v i_o from_o sea_n to_o this_o port_n and_o i_o trust_v in_o his_o divine_a majesty_n that_o it_o will_v prove_v a_o very_a safe_a one_o for_o i_o and_o since_o now_o i_o be_o out_o of_o the_o world_n and_o find_v myself_o in_o the_o company_n of_o few_o but_o they_o holy_a creature_n i_o look_v down_o upon_o the_o world_n as_o from_o a_o place_n which_o be_v very_o high_a and_o so_o it_o be_v grow_v to_o be_v of_o little_a moment_n with_o i_o what_o they_o below_o do_v either_o say_v or_o think_v and_o i_o will_v make_v much_o more_o account_n to_o understand_v that_o any_o one_o soul_n shall_v have_v profit_v to_o the_o weight_n of_o one_o little_a grain_n in_o god_n service_n by_o my_o mean_n then_o of_o all_o which_o can_v be_v say_v of_o i_o in_o any_o kind_n for_o since_o i_o have_v find_v myself_o in_o this_o place_n our_o lord_n have_v be_v gracious_o please_v that_o all_o the_o desire_n of_o my_o hart_n may_v have_v no_o other_o aim_n but_o this_o and_o he_o have_v also_o give_v i_o even_o a_o kind_n of_o sleep_n in_o this_o life_n which_o make_v i_o find_v that_o whatsoever_o i_o see_v be_v but_o dream_v nor_o be_o i_o able_a to_o say_v that_o i_o reap_v either_o much_o contentment_n or_o trouble_v by_o any_o thing_n of_o this_o world_n and_o if_o yet_o some_o thing_n give_v i_o any_o it_o pass_v away_o with_o so_o very_o great_a speed_n that_o i_o even_o wonder_v at_o it_o and_o it_o make_v but_o just_a such_o a_o kind_n of_o impression_n upon_o i_o as_o a_o thing_n will_v do_v whereof_o i_o have_v dream_v and_o it_o be_v a_o most_o perfect_a truth_n that_o although_o i_o shall_v afterward_o have_v a_o piece_n of_o a_o mind_n either_o to_o be_v glad_a of_o any_o contentment_n or_o to_o be_v sorry_a for_o any_o mis-accident_n and_o trouble_v it_o be_v real_o no_o more_o now_o in_o my_o power_n but_o just_a so_o as_o any_o man_n who_o be_v discreet_a will_v take_v either_o trouble_n or_o joy_n from_o a_o dream_n of_o his_o own_o for_o now_o our_o bless_a lord_n have_v already_o be_v please_v to_o awake_v and_o open_v the_o eye_n of_o my_o soul_n from_o out_o of_o that_o folly_n wherein_o it_o be_v and_o whereas_o by_o my_o not_o be_v mortify_v nor_o dead_a to_o the_o thing_n of_o this_o world_n i_o be_v wont_a to_o have_v much_o feel_n of_o such_o thing_n as_o happen_v his_o divine_a majesty_n be_v please_v now_o that_o i_o shall_v loose_v my_o true_a sight_n no_o more_o in_o this_o sort_n sir_n do_v i_o live_v now_o and_o i_o
have_v begin_v to_o obey_v she_o also_o declare_v for_o how_o little_a purpose_n it_o serve_v to_o resist_v the_o favour_n of_o almighty_a god_n and_o how_o his_o divine_a majesty_n go_v daily_o impart_v they_o to_o she_o after_o a_o more_o complete_a manner_n chap._n 25._o she_o treat_v here_o of_o the_o way_n and_o manner_n of_o understand_v those_o word_n or_o speech_n which_o almighty_a god_n be_v please_v to_o utter_v to_o the_o soul_n though_o yet_o without_o hear_v any_o voice_n or_o sound_n and_o of_o some_o error_n or_o abuse_n which_o may_v happen_v herein_o and_o how_o the_o right_a may_v be_v know_v from_o the_o wrong_n it_o be_v of_o much_o use_n and_o profit_n for_o such_o as_o see_v themselves_o in_o this_o degree_n of_o prayer_n for_o it_o be_v declare_v very_o well_o and_o the_o doctrine_n contain_v great_a instruction_n 26._o chap._n she_o prosecute_v the_o same_o discourse_n and_o go_v relate_v and_o declare_v such_o thing_n as_o happen_v to_o she_o which_o make_v she_o to_o loose_a fear_n and_o to_o be_v strengthen_v in_o a_o belief_n that_o it_o be_v a_o good_a spirit_n which_o speak_v to_o she_o 27._o chap._n she_o treat_v of_o another_o way_n how_o our_o lord_n instruct_v a_o soul_n and_o give_v she_o to_o understand_v his_o will_n after_o a_o very_a admirable_a manner_n without_o any_o speech_n at_o all_o she_o also_o declare_v a_o certain_a vision_n and_o great_a favour_n which_o our_o lord_n show_v she_o and_o this_o vision_n be_v not_o imaginary_a this_o chaepter_n be_v very_o much_o to_o be_v note_v 28._o chap._n she_o treat_v of_o the_o great_a favour_n which_o our_o lord_n do_v she_o and_o how_o he_o appear_v to_o she_o the_o first_o time_n she_o declare_v that_o it_o be_v a_o vision_n which_o show_v itself_o by_o way_n of_o the_o imagination_n and_o discover_v the_o great_a effect_n and_o testimony_n which_o such_o thing_n leave_v in_o the_o soul_n when_o they_o be_v of_o almighty_a god_n this_o chapter_n be_v of_o great_a instruction_n and_o deserve_v to_o be_v note_v much_o 29._o chap._n she_o prosecute_v the_o discourse_n which_o she_o have_v begin_v and_o relate_v some_o high_a favour_n which_o our_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o do_v she_o and_o what_o his_o divine_a majesty_n do_v further_o for_o the_o secure_n and_o encourage_a her_o mind_n and_o for_o the_o enable_v she_o to_o answer_n her_o contradictour_n 30._o chap._n she_o return_v to_o recount_v the_o course_n of_o her_o life_n and_o how_o our_o lord_n give_v remedy_n to_o many_o of_o her_o trouble_n by_o bring_v that_o holy_a man_n fray_n pedro_n de_fw-fr alcantara_n of_o the_o order_n of_o the_o glorious_a s._n francis_n to_o the_o place_n where_o she_o be_v and_o she_o declare_v the_o great_a temptation_n and_o inward_a trouble_n which_o sometime_o she_o endure_v 31_o chap._n she_o treat_v of_o certain_a exterior_a temptation_n and_o representation_n of_o the_o devil_n and_o of_o the_o torment_n which_o he_o give_v she_o she_o speak_v also_o of_o other_o thing_n which_o be_v very_o fit_a for_o the_o advice_n and_o instruction_n of_o such_o person_n as_o be_v walk_v on_o in_o the_o way_n of_o perfection_n 32._o chap._n she_o treat_v how_o it_o please_v our_o lord_n to_o put_v she_o in_o spirit_n into_o a_o place_n of_o hell_n which_o she_o say_v she_o have_v deserve_v for_o her_o sin_n she_o relate_v what_o be_v represent_v to_o she_o there_o which_o be_v but_o a_o kind_n of_o shadow_n of_o such_o thing_n as_o be_v suffer_v in_o that_o place_n she_o begin_v also_o to_o declare_v the_o way_n and_o manner_n how_o that_o monastery_n be_v found_v in_o auila_n under_o the_o name_n of_o s._n joseph_n 33._o chap._n she_o proceed_v in_o the_o same_o subject_n of_o the_o foundation_n of_o the_o monastery_n of_o the_o glorious_a s._n joseph_n she_o declare_v how_o she_o be_v command_v to_o attend_v to_o that_o business_n and_o of_o the_o time_n when_o she_o forbear_v to_o follow_v it_o and_o of_o some_o trouble_n which_o she_o have_v and_o how_o she_o be_v comfort_v in_o they_o by_o our_o bless_a lord_n chap._n 34._o she_o declare_v how_o at_o this_o time_n she_o be_v necessary_o to_o go_v from_o that_o place_n and_o she_o show_v the_o cause_n thereof_o and_o how_o her_o superior_a command_v she_o to_o go_v for_o the_o comfort_n of_o a_o certain_a lady_n who_o be_v much_o afflict_v she_o begin_v to_o treat_v of_o that_o which_o happen_v to_o she_o there_o and_o of_o the_o great_a favour_n which_o it_o please_v our_o lord_n to_o do_v by_o her_o mean_n in_o stirring-up_a a_o very_a principal_a person_n to_o do_v he_o very_o great_a service_n and_o how_o afterward_o she_o receive_v much_o favour_n and_o protection_n from_o he_o this_o be_v a_o admirable_a discourse_n and_o very_o much_o to_o be_v note_v 35._o chap._n she_o prosecute_v the_o same_o subject_n about_o the_o foundation_n of_o this_o house_n of_o our_o glorious_a father_n s._n joseph_n she_o speak_v of_o the_o degree_n by_o which_o our_o lord_n come_v to_o appoint_v that_o holy_a poverty_n shall_v be_v ordain_v there_o and_o of_o the_o cause_n why_o she_o come_v from_o that_o lady_n with_o who_o she_o be_v and_o of_o other_o thing_n also_o which_o succeed_v 36._o chap._n she_o prosecute_v the_o subject_n which_o she_o have_v begunn_v and_o declare_v the_o final_a conclusion_n of_o this_o monastery_n of_o the_o glorious_a s._n joseph_n of_o auila_n and_o of_o the_o great_a contradiction_n and_o persecution_n which_o the_o religious_a woman_n be_v put_v to_o suffer_v even_o after_o they_o have_v take_v the_o habit_n and_o of_o the_o many_o trouble_n and_o temptation_n which_o she_o be_v fain_o to_o undergo_v and_o how_o his_o divine_a majesty_n draw_v she_o out_o of_o all_o with_o victory_n to_o his_o own_o praise_n and_o glory_n 37._o chap._n she_o treat_v of_o the_o effect_n which_o use_v to_o remain_v in_o her_o soul_n when_o our_o lord_n have_v do_v she_o any_o favour_n and_o she_o accompany_v this_o discourse_n with_o very_o profitable_a doctrine_n she_o declare_v also_o how_o we_o be_v to_o procure_v and_o great_o esteem_v the_o gain_n of_o one_o degree_n of_o glory_n more_o and_o how_o we_o must_v not_o for_o any_o trouble_n or_o pain_n forsake_v those_o benefit_n &_o blessing_n which_o be_v everlasting_a 38._o chap._n she_o treat_v of_o some_o great_a favour_n which_o our_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o do_v she_o as_o well_o in_o acquaint_v she_o with_o certain_a secret_n of_o heaven_n as_o by_o give_v she_o other_o great_a vision_n and_o revelation_n she_o declare_v also_o the_o effect_n which_o they_o leave_v in_o her_o soul_n and_o the_o great_a benefit_n which_o she_o obtain_v by_o they_o 39_o chap._n she_o proceed_v in_o the_o same_o subject_n of_o show_v the_o great_a favour_n which_o our_o lord_n have_v do_v she_o and_o she_o declare_v how_o he_o be_v please_v to_o promise_v his_o favour_n to_o they_o for_o who_o she_o shall_v beg_v it_o and_o she_o relate_v some_o important_a particular_n wherein_o his_o divine_a majesty_n have_v do_v her_o extraordinary_a favour_n of_o this_o kind_n 40._o chap._n she_o proceed_v in_o the_o same_o discourse_n by_o relate_v the_o great_a favour_n which_o our_o lord_n show_v she_o whereby_o good_a instruction_n be_v to_o be_v get_v and_o with_o the_o end_n of_o this_o chapter_n she_o end_v also_o the_o discourse_n of_o her_o life_n 41._o a_o letter_n write_v by_o the_o glorious_a s._n teresa_n which_o she_o send_v together_o with_o the_o book_n to_o her_o ghostly_a father_n approbatio_fw-la haec_fw-la vita_fw-la s._n teresae_fw-la primùm_fw-la hispanico_fw-la sermone_fw-la à _fw-la se_fw-la conscripta_fw-la &_o postea_fw-la taliter_fw-la edita_fw-la nunc_fw-la verò_fw-la felicissimè_fw-la anglicè_fw-la reddita_fw-la per_fw-la ill_n m_o virum_fw-la m._n t._n iussu_fw-la r_o mi_fw-mi antuerpiensis_n à _fw-la i_o attentè_fw-fr perlecta_fw-la fuit_fw-la &_o in_o eadem_fw-la nihil_fw-la dum_fw-la reperi_fw-la vel_fw-la contra_fw-la fidem_fw-la vel_fw-la quod_fw-la possit_fw-la meo_fw-la iudicio_fw-la pias_fw-la &_o christianas_n aures_fw-la offendere_fw-la imò_fw-la cum_fw-la amorem_fw-la eius_fw-la seraphicum_fw-la undique_fw-la lucentem_fw-la ac_fw-la inflammantem_fw-la lector_fw-la experiatur_fw-la censeo_fw-la dignissimam_fw-la ut_fw-la in_o communem_fw-la etiam_fw-la catholicorum_n anglorum_fw-la utilitatem_fw-la imprimatur_fw-la antuerpiae_fw-la 5._o augusti_fw-la m._n dc_o xlii_o richardus_n wake_v i._n v._o l._n cap._n 4._o cap._n 5._o cap._n 2._o cap._n 8._o cap._n 7._o cap._n 6._o cap._n 22._o 22._o note_v this_o great_a &_o most_o certain_a truth_n truth_n many_o use_v to_o repeat_v the_o creed_n in_o the_o presence_n and_o as_o in_o the_o person_n of_o such_o as_o be_v near_o expire_a by_o way_n of_o fortefy_v they_o at_o that_o time_n against_o the_o temptation_n of_o the_o devil_n devil_n when_o person_n be_v near_o expire_a attendant_n use_v to_o be_v very_o
near_o they_o with_o hallow_v candle_n candle_n a_o excellent_a advice_n take_v heed_n of_o this_o great_a danger_n danger_n consider_v this_o point_n much_o and_o often_o often_o note_v this_o good_a conclusion_n upon_o the_o praemise_n praemise_n note_v this_o very_o well_o for_o nothing_o import_v more_o they_o this_o this_o a_o great_a and_o gross_a error_n error_n a_o point_n of_o very_o great_a importance_n importance_n note_n note_n this_o be_v the_o beginning_n of_o many_o great_a blessing_n blessing_n her_o entrance_n into_o the_o receave_n supernatural_a favour_n favour_n it_o work_n not_o indeed_o by_o way_n of_o use_v discourse_n or_o make_v inference_n but_o yet_o it_o work_v by_o way_n of_o contemplation_n and_o admiration_n of_o the_o infinite_a object_n be_v god_n who_o be_v set_v before_o it_o it_o note_n note_n a_o great_a &_o foolish_a error_n error_n behold_v here_o the_o true_a &_o great_a impediment_n impediment_n this_o saint_n be_v admirable_a in_o all_o the_o comparison_n which_o the_o use_n use_n this_o be_v a_o kind_n of_o engine_n with_o certain_a little_a leather_n bucket_n fasten_v to_o the_o side_n of_o a_o very_a great_a wheel_n which_o dra_n be_v up_o very_o much_o water_n with_o great_a ease_n in_o spanish_a it_o be_v call_v a_o noria_n noria_n a_o good_a lesson_n lesson_n a_o consideration_n of_o much_o comfort_n comfort_n a_o hard_a question_n most_o clear_o and_o excellent_o answer_v answer_v mark_v well_o these_o masculine_a and_o massy_a word_n word_n note_n note_n this_o suspending_a of_o the_o thought_n or_o understanding_n of_o which_o the_o saint_n speak_v be_v a_o present_v a_o multitude_n of_o supernatural_a and_o divine_a object_n before_o it_o together_o with_o a_o copious_a infusion_n of_o light_n which_o be_v decern_v by_o it_o after_o a_o kind_n of_o intuitive_a way_n at_o once_o without_o discourse_n or_o trouble_v and_o this_o light_n rest_v not_o there_o but_o passes-on_a to_o the_o will_n and_o grow_n to_o be_v as_o so_o much_o fire_n for_o the_o inflame_a it_o in_o the_o love_n of_o our_o lord_n and_o the_o soul_n do_v more_o proper_o suffer_v here_o then_o act_n and_o now_o the_o saint_n give_v great_a warning_n that_o people_n be_v not_o so_o foolish_a as_o to_o offer_v at_o these_o thing_n of_o themselves_o a_o great_a truth_n truth_n a_o dangerous_a &_o proud_n foolish_a error_n error_n observe_v the_o generous_a way_n of_o this_o great_a saint_n saint_n note_v this_o very_a well_o well_o a_o great_a praise_n of_o a_o large_a hart_n hart_n how_o saint_n be_v to_o be_v imitate_v &_o how_o admire_v admire_v note_v this_o well_o well_o a_o necessary_a advice_n advice_n our_o daily_a bread_n bread_n a_o description_n of_o a_o good_a director_n in_o matter_n of_o spirit_n spirit_n note_n note_n how_o the_o will_n be_v to_o carry_v itself_o to_o the_o other_o faculty_n of_o the_o mind_n mind_n the_o blessing_n of_o quiet_a prayer_n prayer_n note_n note_n note_n note_n how_o the_o soul_n be_v to_o carry_v itself_o in_o quiet_a prayer_n prayer_n note_n note_n a_o true_a &_o happy_a comparison_n comparison_n the_o good_a spirit_n very_o easy_o discern_v from_o the_o bad_a bad_a note_v this_o point_n above_o all_o all_o a_o most_o necessary_a document_n document_n a_o great_a blessing_n by_o mean_n of_o this_o prayer_n prayer_n these_o be_v the_o more_o generous_a mind_n mind_n as_o when_o one_o be_v die_v die_v this_o be_v a_o admirable_a state_n of_o mind_n mind_n the_o true_a state_n of_o the_o power_n of_o the_o mind_n in_o this_o prayer_n how_o there_o be_v a_o union_n in_o this_o prayer_n &_o how_o there_o be_v none_o none_o the_o great_a effect_n of_o this_o high_a prayer_n prayer_n the_o difference_n betweme_v elevation_n and_o union_n union_n she_o proceed_v in_o declare_v the_o great_a effect_n of_o this_o high_a prayer_n prayer_n a_o consideration_n of_o strange_a comfort_n comfort_n this_o be_v strange_a indeed_o indeed_o the_o strong_a pillar_n of_o prayer_n prayer_n consider_v this_o very_a well_o well_o take_v heed_n heed_n a_o most_o dangerous_a temptation_n temptation_n consider_v and_o admire_v this_o passage_n passage_n the_o manner_n &_o nature_n of_o rapt_n rapt_n the_o effect_n of_o rapt_n rapt_n the_o strange_a state_n of_o mind_n which_o perhaps_o be_v describe_v in_o the_o whole_a book_n book_n the_o effect_n of_o rapt_n rapt_n this_o saint_n it_o admirable_a in_o her_o comparison_n comparison_n other_o great_a effect_n of_o true_a rapt_n rapt_n her_o great_a zeal_n for_o the_o conversion_n of_o king_n king_n she_o allude_v to_o comet_n and_o blaze_a star_n star_n a_o rare_a expression_n expression_n anopinion_n which_o be_v more_o probable_a then_o true_a true_a this_o seem_v to_o have_v be_v a_o foolish_a and_o ill-favoured_a kind_n of_o error_n in_o those_o other_o other_o that_o be_v by_o several_a vision_n vision_n a_o sweet_a and_o just_a complaint_n and_o worthy_a of_o the_o saint_n who_o make_v it_o it_o by_o vision_n vision_n believe_v and_o consider_v this_o most_o certain_a truth_n truth_n a_o doubt_n which_o can_v easy_o be_v solue_v solue_v she_o grow_n now_o to_o make_v serious_a enquiry_n after_o a_o good_a director_n director_n the_o only_a excellent_a course_n course_n this_o holy_a man_n enter_v often_o into_o the_o story_n of_o our_o saint_n saint_n this_o be_v no_o improbable_a opinion_n though_o it_o be_v no_o true_a one_o one_o so_o good_a a_o begin_n be_v almost_o a_o kind_n of_o perfect_v the_o work_n work_n the_o saint_n begann_v here_o to_o be_v happy_a happy_a this_o be_v a_o wise_a man_n &_o likely_a to_o work_n wonder_v upon_o a_o soul_n soul_n he_o lose_v nothing_o by_o leave_v to_o be_v a_o duke_n for_o god_n sake_n sake_n this_o must_v needs_o have_v be_v a_o holy_a and_o a_o wise_a man_n man_n a_o little_a of_o this_o go_v far_o far_o so_o true_a it_o be_v that_o god_n be_v god_n god_n the_o mighty_a force_n and_o power_n of_o any_o one_o supernatural_a word_n word_n the_o infinite_a difference_n betweme_v supernatural_a word_n of_o god_n &_o all_o other_o other_o a_o strange_a encounter_n encounter_n great_a power_n of_o our_o lord_n lord_n how_o quick_o she_o get_v courage_n against_o the_o devil_n devil_n a_o most_o certain_a truth_n truth_n this_o be_v a_o very_a ill_a advice_n indeed_o indeed_o the_o incredible_a dear_a sweetness_n of_o our_o b._n lord_n to_o a_o soul_n soul_n observe_v this_o well_o well_o this_o saint_n you_o see_v be_v certain_o no_o protestant_n protestant_n the_o masque_n of_o pride_n pride_n a_o admirable_a example_n of_o penance_n penance_n humane_a frailty_n and_o celestial_a glory_n be_v not_o compatible_a compatible_a imaginary_a vision_n represent_v to_o &_o by_o the_o sense_n be_v of_o the_o low_a rank_n &_o most_o subject_a to_o danger_n danger_n the_o great_a effect_n of_o a_o admirable_a and_o most_o sublime_a vision_n vision_n the_o difference_n be_v easy_o find_v both_o between_v a_o true_a vision_n and_o a_o false_a and_o between_v a_o true_a vision_n and_o a_o fancy_n fancy_n a_o plain_a demonstration_n demonstration_n in_o order_n to_o the_o guide_v of_o other_o a_o director_n may_v easy_o have_v too_o mean_a a_o optnion_n of_o himself_o himself_o this_o saint_n be_v huge_o vex_v by_o the_o insatisfaction_n which_o she_o receive_v from_o many_o spiritual_a man_n man_n this_o be_v very_o fit_a to_o be_v know_v know_v this_o be_v a_o true_a fortiter_fw-la sed_fw-la suaviter_fw-la suaviter_fw-la this_o saint_n be_v most_o strange_o familiar_o and_o supernatural_o visit_v by_o our_o b_o lord_n lord_n a_o strange_a task_n which_o be_v put_v even_o by_o holy_a man_n upon_o this_o saint_n saint_n the_o more_o she_o be_v discountenance_v even_o by_o good_a man_n so_o much_o the_o more_o high_o be_v she_o favour_v by_o our_o lord_n lord_n a_o rare_a comparison_n comparison_n still_o more_o &_o more_o excellent_a comparison_n comparison_n a_o excellent_a &_o most_o necessary_a advice_n advice_n a_o strange_a mixture_n of_o affection_n but_o such_o as_o god_n know_v how_o to_o give_v give_v this_o grief_n be_v after_o the_o rate_n of_o the_o love_n love_n a_o very_a safe_a and_o wise_a way_n of_o proceed_v proceed_v this_o be_v a_o most_o certain_a truth_n truth_n here_o follow_v a_o whole_a world_n of_o sad_a temptation_n &_o trouble_n trouble_n the_o difference_n betweme_v divine_a and_o diabolical_a grief_n of_o mind_n mind_n the_o way_n &_o manner_n of_o a_o great_a desolation_n desolation_n a_o pretty_a humour_n humour_n a_o happy_a state_n state_n she_o make_v along_o discourse_n of_o the_o diabolical_a temptation_n &_o trouble_n to_o which_o she_o be_v subject_a subject_a the_o excellency_n of_o holy_a water_n water_n a_o great_a and_o just_a consolation_n consolation_n a_o question_n worthy_a of_o he_o that_o ask_v it_o it_o this_o be_v a_o very_a great_a truth_n but_o the_o accent_n must_v be_v put_v upon_o the_o word_n indeed_o indeed_o and_o though_o she_o shall_v have_v continue_v to_o ask_v it_o i_o dare_v say_v our_o lord_n will_v not_o have_v grant_v it_o it_o a_o must_v certain_a truth_n truth_n a_o wise_a &_o solid_a truth_n truth_n exercise_n of_o prayer_n and_o love_n of_o honour_n agree_v not_o well_o together_o together_o this_o be_v not_o to_o be_v literal_o understand_v for_o the_o devil_n can_v prepare_v no_o place_n for_o a_o soul_n in_o hell_n but_o by_o the_o decree_n of_o almighty_a god_n upon_o the_o particular_a judgement_n give_v at_o the_o death_n of_o the_o party_n party_n the_o sin_n of_o ingratitude_n discorrespondence_n and_o inordinate_a affection_n to_o creature_n which_o she_o do_v commit_v and_o the_o great_a and_o mortal_a sin_n which_o she_o will_v most_o certain_o have_v commit_v if_o the_o mercy_n of_o our_o bless_a lord_n have_v not_o prevent_v and_o withhold_v she_o she_o hell_n be_v represent_v to_o she_o in_o spirit_n after_o a_o most_o subtle_a manner_n and_o it_o be_v show_v to_o she_o and_o describe_v by_o she_o in_o such_o sort_n as_o that_o such_o creature_n may_v be_v capable_a thereof_o as_o be_v endue_v not_o only_o with_o mind_n but_o with_o body_n body_n the_o excellent_a fruit_n which_o this_o saint_n do_v gather_v from_o this_o great_a favour_n which_o seem_v to_o be_v the_o sole_a cause_n why_o our_o b._n lord_n be_v please_v to_o impair_v this_o favour_n favour_n the_o great_a benefit_n of_o this_o favour_n favour_n vide_fw-la supra_fw-la fol_n 471._o 471._o a_o sweet_a effect_n of_o a_o sad_a cause_n cause_n a_o sad_a and_o strange_a proceed_n proceed_n how_o one_o suspicion_n u._fw-mi wont_a to_o three_o itself_o close_o upon_o another_o another_o a_o holy_a &_o wise_a man_n man_n all_o these_o thing_n and_o the_o like_a as_o namely_o dart_n or_o chain_n or_o crown_n or_o jewel_n etc._n etc._n be_v not_o to_o be_v understoood_a after_o a_o gross_a &_o material_a way_n but_o yet_o that_o real_o they_o have_v truth_n in_o their_o be_v represent_v distinct_o &_o clear_o to_o the_o imagination_n of_o the_o party_n and_o they_o chief_o serve_v as_o testimony_n &_o sign_n of_o those_o interior_a grace_n &_o virtue_n which_o use_v to_o be_v imprint_v upon_o soul_n at_o those_o very_a time_n by_o the_o mercy_n of_o our_o b._n lord_n lord_n she_o mean_v herself_o herself_o this_o saint_n be_v a_o excellent_a person_n to_o make_v a_o friend_n of_o of_o a_o very_a strange_a demonstration_n of_o a_o most_o civil_a noble_a and_o friendly_a hart_n hart_n our_o bless_a lord_n be_v still_o as_o good_a as_o his_o word_n word_n the_o great_a charity_n &_o humility_n of_o the_o saint_n saint_n how_o devout_a this_o dear_a saint_n be_v be_v they_o be_v very_o noble_a though_o they_o be_v poor_a poor_a the_o devil_n be_v still_o himself_o himself_o this_o be_v such_o a_o kind_n of_o world_n as_o wherein_o thing_n will_v ever_o go_v thus_o thus_o a_o true_a answer_n to_o all_o the_o devil_n objection_n objection_n note_v the_o description_n which_o the_o saint_n make_v here_o of_o her_o religious_a religious_a this_o fast_a of_o the_o order_n be_v not_o so_o strict_a and_o rigorous_a as_o that_o of_o the_o church_n but_o be_v rather_o a_o forbearance_n of_o half_a the_o meal_n than_o a_o fast_a fast_a this_o point_n of_o have_v so_o very_a few_o in_o a_o monastery_n be_v partly_o mean_v for_o they_o who_o be_v to_o live_v in_o any_o place_n on_o alm_n and_o partly_o because_o the_o saint_n have_v see_v some_o disorder_n by_o have_v too_o many_o religious_a in_o other_o house_n and_o yet_o the_o saint_n herself_o come_v afterward_o to_o admit_v of_o twenty_o in_o stead_n of_o twelue_v and_o will_v perhaps_o have_v admit_v more_o if_o she_o have_v find_v reason_n for_o it_o it_o she_o inveigh_v with_o much_o reason_n against_o vain_a compliment_n and_o especial_o among_o religious_a people_n people_n a_o excellent_a &_o most_o useful_a document_n document_n a_o true_a noble_a &_o most_o generous_a hart_n hart_n great_a effect_n of_o a_o vision_n
the_o flame_v hart_n or_o the_o life_n of_o the_o glorious_a s._n teresa_n foundress_n of_o the_o reformation_n of_o the_o order_n of_o the_o all-immaculate_a virgin-mother_n our_o b._n lady_n of_o mount-carmel_n this_o history_n of_o her_o life_n be_v write_v by_o the_o saint_n herself_o in_o spanish_a and_o be_v new_o now_o translate_v into_o english_a in_o the_o year_n of_o our_o lord_n god_n 1642._o aut_fw-la mori_fw-la aut_fw-la pati_fw-la either_o to_o die_v or_o else_o to_o suffer_v chap._n 40._o antwerp_n print_v by_o johannes_n meursius_n anno_fw-la m._n dc_o xlii_o to_o the_o incomparable_a sovereign_a princess_n henrietta-maria_a of_o france_z qveen_n of_o great_a britain_n france_n and_o irland_n madam_n i_o presume_v not_o now_o to_o approach_v to_o your_o majesty_n presence_n with_o design_n to_o beg_v your_o favour_n though_o this_o use_v to_o be_v the_o case_n of_o every_o creature_n but_o to_o pay_v your_o majesty_n a_o service_n and_o that_o a_o great_a one_o for_o the_o many_o princely_a benefit_n which_o i_o have_v receive_v already_o from_o your_o gracious_a hand_n for_o here_o i_o come_v to_o offer_v your_o majesty_n a_o mean_n of_o magnify_v your_o own_o natural_a greatness_n by_o your_o avow_a &_o protect_a and_o enlarge_v the_o glory_n of_o a_o incomparable_a saint_n s._n teresa_n to_o who_o as_o i_o have_v well_o understand_v that_o already_o you_o carry_v a_o extraordinary_a devotion_n and_o not_o only_a devotion_n to_o herself_o but_o affection_n also_o to_o the_o holy_a religious_a woman_n of_o her_o angelical_a order_n whereof_o the_o english_a nation_n which_o now_o enjoy_v the_o honour_n to_o be_v also_o you_o have_v a_o monastery_n at_o antwerp_n which_o need_v not_o perhaps_o be_v ashamed_a to_o appear_v near_o any_o other_o of_o the_o whole_a world_n whether_o it_o be_v for_o their_o great_a &_o entire_a contentment_n in_o recollection_n their_o insatiable_a yet_o most_o delightful_a thirst_n after_o perfection_n &_o union_n with_o our_o bless_a lord_n or_o the_o everlasting_a feast_n of_o joy_n &_o jubily_n which_o they_o solemnize_v both_o in_o the_o hearty_a &_o high_a respect_n which_o they_o carry_v to_o their_o reverend_a mother_n superior_a and_o their_o true_a &_o most_o tender_a love_n to_o one_o another_o so_o it_o will_v not_o be_v unworthy_a either_o of_o your_o own_o greatness_n or_o goodness_n that_o when_o there_o be_v question_n of_o consider_v the_o virtue_n &_o perfection_n of_o the_o glorious_a s._n teresa_n and_o the_o celebrate_v her_o praise_n and_o the_o study_v her_o life_n i_o mean_v that_o life_n of_o she_o which_o she_o write_v with_o that_o most_o holy_a &_o wise_a hand_n of_o she_o own_o which_o i_o here_o present_a your_o majesty_n vouchsafe_v to_o march_v at_o the_o very_a head_n of_o that_o whole_a troop_n which_o may_v address_v itself_o to_o the_o imitation_n of_o her_o heroical_a action_n and_o to_o the_o admiration_n of_o those_o incomparable_a grace_n and_o favour_n which_o the_o god_n of_o heaven_n and_o earth_n think_v fit_a to_o infuse_v with_o his_o enamour_a hart_n and_o omnipotent_a hand_n into_o that_o most_o happy_a soul_n for_o who_o can_v ever_o be_v more_o fit_a to_o patronize_v so_o great_a a_o saint_n as_o she_o be_v than_o so_o great_a a_o queen_n as_o your_o majesty_n who_o beside_o your_o birth_n and_o renown_n whereof_o to_o speak_v after_o the_o manner_n of_o man_n you_o have_v so_o much_o occasion_n to_o brag_v have_v also_o in_o order_n to_o heaven_n show_v such_o constancy_n in_o the_o way_n of_o religion_n and_o piety_n as_o may_v just_o all_o thing_n consider_v give_v cause_n to_o the_o rest_n of_o your_o own_o most_o eminent_a rank_n at_o least_o to_o shrink_v if_o not_o to_o blush_v for_o myself_o to_o beg_v your_o majesty_n pardon_n for_o this_o appearance_n of_o presumption_n be_v now_o to_o acknowledge_v some_o such_o fault_n as_o whereof_o i_o acquit_v myself_o before_o i_o will_v therefore_o rather_o by_o this_o mean_n hope_v to_o obtain_v a_o suit_n for_o this_o service_n yea_o and_o that_o of_o the_o most_o savoury_a kind_n of_o all_o other_o &_o it_o be_v that_o you_o will_v vouchsafe_v to_o employ_v the_o sacrifice_n of_o my_o whole_a life_n in_o obedience_n to_o any_o of_o your_o majesty_n least_o command_n god_n make_v &_o keep_v your_o majesty_n as_o healthy_a &_o as_o happy_a as_o this_o world_n can_v tell_v how_o to_o wish_v yea_o and_o as_o the_o other_o can_v tell_v how_o to_o grant_v &_o i_o most_o humble_o ask_v leave_n to_o do_v your_o majesty_n all_o reverence_n at_o your_o royal_a foot_n your_o majesty_n most_o humble_a most_o obedient_a most_o devote_a &_o most_o oblige_a servant_n m._n t._n a_o word_n of_o advertisement_n to_o the_o reader_n to_o the_o end_n that_o the_o reader_n be_v judgement_n may_v be_v keep_v from_o any_o considerable_a error_n concern_v the_o person_n of_o the_o glorious_a s._n teresa_n he_o be_v humble_o and_o earnest_o desire_v to_o read_v the_o preface_n before_o he_o read_v the_o book_n and_o especial_o that_o part_n thereof_o which_o occurr_v between_v that_o §_o which_o begin_v with_o these_o follow_a word_n for_o she_o will_v tell_v you_o etc._n etc._n and_o that_o other_o which_o begin_v but_o now_o it_o will_v come_v fit_o in_o etc._n etc._n he_o may_v also_o be_v please_v to_o excuse_v the_o few_o fault_n which_o shall_v be_v find_v in_o the_o print_n the_o rather_o because_o it_o be_v perform_v both_o in_o a_o strange_a country_n and_o by_o stranger_n the_o preface_n of_o the_o translator_n to_o the_o christian_a and_o civil_a reader_n i_o be_v move_v and_o who_o will_v not_o be_v move_v by_o the_o reverend_a mother_n superior_a of_o the_o english_a teresian-carmelites_n at_o ant_n werpe_fw-mi &_o the_o rest_n of_o that_o holy_a assembly_n to_o translate_v out_o of_o spanish_a into_o english_a the_o life_n of_o the_o admirable_a and_o bless_a woman_n s._n teresa_n their_o holy_a mother_n and_o i_o who_o excellency_n and_o perfection_n it_o be_v hard_a for_o any_o pen_n to_o express_v and_o few_o heart_n even_o of_o the_o most_o refine_a and_o raise_v can_v full_o understand_v and_o comprehend_v for_o though_o it_o be_v translate_v long_o ago_o by_o a_o eminent_a and_o worthy_a man_n of_o our_o nation_n in_o the_o great_a devotion_n which_o he_o carry_v to_o his_o excellent_a saint_n yet_o he_o have_v live_v so_o very_o long_o out_o of_o his_o countâ—â—_n and_o have_v attend_v in_o so_o serious_a a_o manner_n to_o the_o acquire_v of_o perfection_n and_o knowledge_n in_o order_n to_o the_o conversion_n of_o soul_n that_o on_o the_o one_o side_n he_o seem_v to_o have_v lose_v a_o little_a of_o the_o purity_n of_o his_o own_o english_a tongue_n and_o on_o the_o other_o not_o to_o have_v acquire_v enough_o of_o the_o spanish_a and_o consequent_o not_o to_o have_v be_v able_a to_o perform_v the_o work_n so_o exact_o as_o he_o desire_v since_o such_o a_o book_n as_o be_v so_o sublime_o conceive_v by_o such_o a_o hart_n and_o so_o vehement_o posted-out_a by_o such_o a_o pen_n can_v never_o be_v exact_o translate_v out_o of_o any_o one_o language_n into_o a_o other_o without_o a_o kind_n of_o full_a possession_n of_o they_o both_o beside_o a_o great_a attention_n &_o application_n of_o mind_n otherwise_o some_o place_n be_v therefore_o very_o obscure_a and_o many_o other_o more_o than_o a_o little_a misunderstand_v the_o book_n be_v not_o so_o well_o receive_v nor_o so_o glad_o &_o greedy_o read_v as_o it_o deserve_v and_o therefore_o both_o in_o honour_n of_o their_o renown_v and_o admire_a parent_n &_o in_o appetite_n also_o of_o their_o own_o consolation_n and_o perfection_n in_o spirit_n the_o zeal_n of_o these_o holy_a religious_a woman_n can_v not_o content_v itself_o with_o less_o than_o a_o procure_n to_o get_v a_o new_a translation_n make_v which_o perhaps_o may_v prove_v to_o their_o thinke_v a_o little_a less_o imperfect_a than_o the_o other_o for_o my_o part_n i_o confess_v i_o wonder_v that_o some_o such_o review_v and_o reformation_n concern_v a_o public_a work_n so_o much_o import_v the_o glory_n of_o almighty_a god_n and_o the_o honour_n of_o so_o eminent_a a_o saint_n can_v be_v forbear_v so_o long_o but_o even_o that_o very_a conceit_n and_o consideration_n do_v help_v to_o clap_v the_o spur_n into_o my_o side_n towards_o a_o run_n through_o this_o course_n and_o carreire_n with_o all_o the_o care_n &_o speed_n which_o i_o can_v possible_o use_v and_o herein_o though_o my_o ability_n be_v small_a yet_o my_o attention_n grow_v to_o be_v great_a and_o so_o i_o consider_v several_a copy_n and_o take_v also_o many_o opinion_n and_o yet_o find_v that_o all_o my_o diligence_n be_v few_o enough_o towards_o the_o discharge_n of_o the_o multitude_n of_o doubt_n and_o difficultye_n which_o occur_v partly_o through_o the_o
high_a and_o abstract_a nature_n of_o the_o very_a content_n of_o the_o book_n partly_o through_o the_o great_a length_n of_o the_o period_n partly_o through_o the_o multitude_n sometime_o of_o parenthesis_n even_o in_o the_o same_o sentence_n partly_o through_o her_o forbear_n to_o use_v those_o particle_n in_o the_o begin_n of_o the_o say_a sentence_n as_o namely_o for_o but_o yet_o therefore_o and_o the_o like_a without_o which_o it_o be_v not_o always_o so_o easy_a to_o discern_v whether_o the_o discourse_n be_v either_o continue_v or_o interrupt_v or_o end_v and_o partly_o &_o cheiflie_o by_o the_o ill_a print_n and_o worse_o point_v of_o all_o the_o spanish_a copy_n which_o i_o can_v ever_o come_v to_o see_v all_o which_o i_o be_o fain_a to_o allege_v by_o way_n of_o a_o humble_a excuse_n for_o whatsoever_o error_n i_o may_v have_v involuntarilie_o commit_v in_o this_o case_n but_o howsoever_o i_o here_o present_v it_o to_o the_o glory_n of_o almighty_a god_n to_o the_o praise_n of_o this_o excellent_a saint_n and_o to_o the_o consolation_n of_o these_o child_n of_o she_o who_o be_v no_o less_o than_o a_o kind_n of_o counterpoise_n to_o the_o misery_n of_o the_o time_n wherein_o we_o live_v but_o now_o as_o soon_o as_o i_o have_v translate_v the_o work_n a_o certain_a wise_a &_o worthy_a man_n &_o my_o friend_n take_v knowledge_n of_o it_o and_o desire_v i_o by_o a_o very_a earnest_a letter_n of_o he_o to_o usher_v this_o book_n into_o the_o world_n with_o a_o preface_n of_o my_o own_o which_o may_v open_v the_o reader_n eye_n the_o more_o easy_o to_o behold_v the_o saint_n when_o she_o follow_v and_o so_o also_o to_o give_v some_o notice_n of_o her_o child_n who_o be_v follow_v she_o and_o though_o i_o allege_v my_o reason_n why_o this_o may_v be_v less_o necessary_o do_v yet_o still_o he_o urge_v i_o to_o it_o and_o so_o i_o make_v his_o will_n i_o own_o and_o accord_o shall_v speak_v a_o few_o of_o my_o thought_n i_o say_v some_o few_o of_o my_o thought_n for_o whosoever_o have_v study_v the_o person_n of_o the_o glorious_a s._n teresa_n well_o will_v find_v so_o much_o to_o say_v as_o if_o he_o have_v a_o mind_n to_o say_v all_o he_o may_v do_v well_o not_o to_o begin_v since_o it_o will_v never_o be_v in_o his_o power_n to_o make_v a_o end_n such_o a_o full_a sea_n be_v this_o excellent_a saint_n of_o all_o perfection_n which_o have_v neither_o bottom_n nor_o brim_n i_o will_v therefore_o say_v very_o little_a of_o she_o here_o and_o that_o shall_v cheiflie_o tend_v to_o let_v you_o see_v how_o high_o this_o life_n which_o be_v write_v by_o the_o saint_n herself_o be_v authorise_v and_o how_o punctuallie_o it_o deserve_v to_o be_v believe_v forasmuch_o as_o may_v any_o way_n concern_v the_o truth_n of_o the_o historical_a part_n thereof_o as_o also_o the_o excellency_n of_o the_o order_n which_o she_o both_o reform_v and_o erect_v but_o for_o the_o present_a you_o may_v first_o be_v please_v to_o consider_v that_o we_o find_v the_o life_n of_o saint_n to_o be_v write_v by_o three_o several_a kind_n of_o person_n for_o some_o be_v deliver_v by_o man_n who_o be_v only_o eminent_a in_o the_o historical_a way_n and_o they_o deserve_v to_o be_v esteem_v and_o believe_v for_o the_o merit_n of_o that_o worth_n which_o shall_v appear_v whatsoever_o it_o fallout_a to_o be_v the_o second_o sort_n be_v when_o the_o writer_n be_v not_o only_o worthy_a man_n but_o be_v withal_o so_o great_a servant_n of_o almighty_a god_n as_o to_o be_v acknowledge_v by_o the_o christian_a world_n for_o saint_n as_o s._n athanasius_n who_o write_v the_o life_n of_o s._n anthony_n s._n epiphanius_n of_o several_a prophet_n s._n hierome_n of_o s._n paul_n and_o s._n hilarion_n both_o of_o they_o heremite_n s._n gregory_n the_o great_a of_o s._n bennet_n s._n bonaventure_n of_o the_o humble_a and_o admire_a s._n francis_n and_o the_o like_a who_o deserve_v a_o far_o high_a credit_n than_o the_o former_a in_o regard_n that_o the_o writer_n be_v saint_n the_o three_o be_v when_o saint_n themselves_o write_v their_o own_o life_n as_o the_o incomparable_a s._n augustin_n do_v a_o great_a part_n of_o he_o in_o the_o divine_a book_n of_o his_o confession_n upon_o the_o excess_n &_o admiration_n wherein_o he_o be_v at_o the_o unspeakable_a mercy_n of_o almighty_a god_n for_o remove_v all_o the_o misery_n of_o his_o soul_n and_o the_o relation_n of_o such_o life_n as_o these_o be_v incomparable_o of_o the_o most_o credit_n of_o all_o for_o first_o no_o body_n know_v so_o well_o what_o pass_v concern_v a_o man_n as_o himself_o and_o saint_n be_v very_o far_o from_o say_v any_o thing_n which_o be_v not_o exact_o true_a and_o especial_o if_o the_o saint_n be_v such_o as_o that_o they_o be_v also_o endue_v with_o very_o great_a natural_a part_n of_o wit_n and_o memory_n and_o judgement_n forasmuch_o as_o concern_v the_o brain_n or_o understanding_n as_o they_o will_v be_v sure_a to_o be_v with_o truth_n and_o sincerity_n &_o candour_n forasmuch_o as_o may_v concern_v the_o hart_n or_o will._n for_o as_o these_o moral_a part_n will_v keep_v they_o from_o deceive_a other_o so_o the_o intellectual_a will_v secure_v they_o from_o be_v deceive_v themselves_o and_o will_v make_v they_o define_v and_o divide_v and_o suspect_v and_o doubt_v and_o ask_v before_o they_o full_o resolve_v to_o believe_v &_o much_o more_o before_o they_o will_v publish_v thing_n to_o the_o world_n and_o now_o as_o the_o incomparable_a s._n augustin_n be_v call_v by_o the_o consideration_n of_o his_o own_o great_a sin_n and_o god_n great_a mercy_n to_o declare_v his_o life_n in_o the_o never_o enough_o admire_v book_n of_o his_o confession_n so_o also_o do_v the_o glorious_a s._n teresa_n the_o self_n same_o thing_n in_o effect_n in_o this_o book_n but_o by_o direction_n of_o her_o ghostly_a father_n not_o yet_o that_o he_o do_v so_o much_o as_o incline_v she_o to_o publish_v she_o own_o imperfection_n and_o sin_n nay_o rather_o he_o do_v the_o direct_a contrary_n but_o only_o to_o declare_v her_o form_n of_o prayer_n together_o with_o the_o favour_n which_o our_o lord_n impart_v to_o she_o therein_o but_o now_o she_o upon_o that_o occasion_n will_v needs_o make_v she_o own_o process_n in_o view_n of_o the_o world_n &_o show_v as_o incident_a to_o the_o rest_n how_o ill_o she_o have_v comply_v with_o almighty_a god_n from_o time_n to_o time_n and_o by_o this_o mean_n do_v she_o in_o effect_n weave_v that_o great_a piece_n of_o rich_a cloth-of-gold_n and_o tislue_v which_o concern_v almost_o the_o history_n of_o her_o whole_a life_n and_o now_o the_o same_o be_v hungout_n abroad_o to_o the_o view_v of_o the_o world_n but_o yet_o among_o all_o the_o excellency_n thereof_o there_o be_v one_o thing_n which_o displease_v many_o worthy_a wise_a &_o holy_a man_n or_o at_o least_o which_o please_v they_o less_o than_o the_o rest_n and_o it_o be_v that_o whensoever_o there_o be_v any_o question_n at_o all_o of_o herself_o in_o order_n either_o to_o virtue_n or_o vice_n she_o will_v never_o trust_v she_o own_o eye_n though_o they_o be_v so_o clear_a and_o good_a as_o the_o world_n know_v but_o she_o resolve_v to_o work_v with_o perspective-glass_n of_o different_a yea_o &_o even_o contrary_a kind_n for_o when_o she_o describe_v her_o virtue_n she_o serve_v herself_o of_o a_o diminishing-glasse_n which_o make_v they_o seem_v so_o little_a as_o to_o be_v no_o more_o than_o a_o kind_n of_o nothing_o but_o on_o the_o other_o side_n when_o she_o give_v account_n of_o her_o imperfection_n she_o will_v by_o no_o mean_n know_v they_o by_o any_o other_o name_n then_o of_o vice_n and_o sin_n because_o she_o take_v a_o multiplying-glass_n to_o herself_o for_o fear_n lest_o else_o those_o molehill_n shall_v not_o seem_v mountain_n now_o in_o the_o strength_n of_o this_o wel-meaning_n and_o holy_a kind_n of_o error_n which_o she_o incur_v if_o any_o error_n may_v well_o deserve_v so_o indulgent_a a_o name_n she_o give_v herself_o too_o great_a scope_n if_o the_o reader_n will_v needs_o take_v she_o at_o her_o word_n to_o violate_v she_o own_o excellent_a fame_n by_o certain_a too_o venturous_a dash_v of_o her_o pen_n which_o be_v drive_v too_o too_o hasty_o on_o by_o the_o impulse_n of_o a_o kind_n of_o inordinate_a humility_n in_o such_o sort_n as_o that_o if_o a_o body_n be_v dispose_v to_o trust_v his_o eye_n alone_o without_o his_o reason_n he_o may_v be_v easy_o draw_v to_o pass_v a_o very_a erroneous_a judgement_n upon_o her_o soul_n for_o she_o will_v tell_v you_o in_o twenty_o place_n of_o this_o book_n what_o a_o grievous_a sinner_n she_o be_v what_o a_o multitude_n of_o great_a sin_n she_o have_v in_o her_o conceit_n commit_v
in_o the_o exercise_n of_o bounty_n her_o compassion_n be_v most_o eminent_a to_o ward_o the_o relief_n of_o all_o creature_n in_o misery_n &_o so_o especial_o be_v her_o solicitude_n to_o consolate_v &_o regale_n all_o such_o in_o all_o occasion_n as_o be_v entrust_v to_o her_o care_n while_o yet_o she_o will_v needs_o be_v unkind_a and_o even_o as_o it_o be_v cruel_a to_o herself_o alone_o above_o all_o thing_n she_o be_v a_o most_o perfect_a lover_n of_o truth_n &_o so_o full_a of_o matchless_a candour_n &_o sincerity_n in_o all_o expression_n &_o upon_o all_o occasion_n that_o she_o will_v no_o more_o have_v even_o so_o much_o as_o but_z disguised_z it_o and_o much_o less_o vary_a from_o it_o in_o the_o least_o kind_n especial_o when_o the_o question_n have_v any_o way_n concern_v she_o own_o advantage_n than_o she_o will_v have_v sell_v herself_o for_o a_o slave_n these_o i_o say_v be_v the_o condition_n of_o this_o admirable_a creature_n and_o these_o be_v the_o part_n of_o her_o mind_n which_o yet_o i_o consider_v but_o in_o the_o nature_n of_o fruit_n but_o they_o grow_v from_o these_o root_n which_o follow_v a_o most_o profound_a humility_n a_o most_o inviolable_a chastity_n a_o most_o strict_a love_n of_o poverty_n a_o most_o unshake_a and_o invincible_a patience_n in_o despite_n of_o sharp_a sickness_n torment_v pain_n and_o endless_a persecution_n a_o most_o ardent_a and_o inflame_a charity_n both_o towards_o god_n &_o man_n which_o breed_v a_o eager_a and_o insatiable_a appetite_n to_o win_v soul_n a_o undaunted_a fortitude_n &_o high_a courage_n and_o that_o no_o less_o in_o the_o endeavour_v great_a thing_n then_o in_o the_o suffer_a hard_a thing_n a_o constant_a continual_a supernatural_a &_o most_o elevate_v course_n of_o prayer_n and_o contemplation_n such_o a_o kind_n of_o excellent_a creature_n be_v this_o but_o yet_o when_o i_o overlook_v the_o little_a which_o i_o have_v here_o set_v down_o i_o confess_v it_o seem_v at_o the_o first_o even_o in_o my_o own_o eye_n to_o be_v a_o very_a extraordinary_a elogium_fw-la of_o her_o virtue_n and_o part_n and_o as_o if_o it_o may_v perhaps_o have_v have_v more_o in_o it_o of_o the_o panegyric_n then_o of_o a_o just_a praise_n and_o therefore_o before_o i_o will_v give_v it_o passage_n to_o the_o print_n i_o look_v attentive_o back_o upon_o what_o i_o have_v read_v of_o she_o concern_v her_o resolution_n and_o heroical_a action_n record_v in_o authentical_a manner_n by_o diverse_a grave_n and_o wise_a author_n and_o in_o several_a place_n also_o of_o her_o own_o work_n and_o particular_o upon_o what_o be_v deliver_v by_o father_n ribera_n in_o the_o historical_a relation_n of_o her_o whole_a life_n but_o when_o i_o come_v back_o from_o thence_o &_o compare_v that_o kind_n of_o descant_n with_o my_o plainsong_n concern_v the_o saint_n i_o find_v myself_o to_o have_v rather_o fall_v much_o too_o short_a then_o to_o have_v any_o way_n overshort_a in_o this_o kind_n and_o that_o the_o particular_n recount_v with_o great_a authority_n else_o where_o for_o the_o proof_n of_o how_o she_o profess_v herself_o after_o a_o high_a &_o most_o heroical_a manner_n in_o the_o practice_n &_o pursuit_n of_o virtue_n in_o order_n to_o all_o sanctity_n &_o perfection_n to_o which_o she_o aspire_v &_o where_o by_o god_n great_a mercy_n she_o arrive_v will_v have_v no_o less_o avow_a then_o encourage_v my_o pen_n to_o have_v do_v she_o much_o more_o honour_n that_o be_v more_o right_a if_o it_o have_v not_o be_v employ_v by_o so_o weak_a a_o hand_n as_o i_o but_o in_o the_o mean_a time_n i_o have_v consider_v the_o example_n of_o the_o holy_a s._n hierome_n who_o writing_n of_o his_o s._n paula_n to_o eustochium_fw-la her_o daughter_n have_v these_o word_n i_o take_v jesus_n and_o his_o saint_n to_o witness_v as_o also_o that_o particular_a angel_n who_o be_v the_o guardian_n and_o companion_n of_o this_o admirable_a woman_n that_o i_o will_v say_v nothing_o of_o she_o for_o favour_n nothing_o after_o the_o custom_n of_o flatterer_n but_o that_o whatsoever_o i_o be_o to_o deliaer_fw-mi shall_v be_v as_o if_o it_o be_v upon_o my_o oath_n and_o yet_o still_o it_o will_v fall_v short_a of_o her_o merit_n and_o now_o this_o shall_v authorise_v i_o also_o to_o take_v our_o bless_a lord_n to_o witness_v that_o to_o the_o best_a of_o my_o poor_a understanding_n i_o have_v not_o mistake_v myself_o about_o the_o celebration_n which_o here_o i_o make_v of_o our_o saint_n in_o the_o point_n of_o have_v praise_v she_o too_o much_o but_o rather_o that_o i_o be_o grow_v to_o be_v her_o debtor_n than_o her_o creditor_n herein_o for_o if_o ever_o there_o have_v be_v in_o the_o whole_a world_n many_o woman_n of_o more_o admirable_a part_n &_o perfection_n both_o in_o their_o intellectual_n &_o their_o moral_n which_o i_o account_v to_o be_v as_o the_o simple_n of_o a_o soul_n &_o in_o the_o use_n also_o thereof_o whereby_o those_o simple_n grow_v to_o be_v mix_v and_o whether_o we_o shall_v consider_v they_o in_o the_o natural_a or_o supernatural_a way_n it_o be_v more_o than_o i_o have_v be_v able_a to_o know_v either_o by_o read_v or_o else_o by_o discourse_n &_o yet_o i_o have_v be_v careful_a enough_o to_o inquire_v but_o now_o the_o certainty_n of_o this_o truth_n will_v yet_o even_o further_o appear_v when_o i_o shall_v tell_v you_o that_o which_o follow_v and_o it_o be_v that_o when_o the_o saint_n make_v observation_n &_o have_v experience_n of_o the_o world_n be_v great_a frailty_n and_o less_o perfection_n and_o that_o the_o religious_a order_n and_o house_n where_o she_o have_v enter_v have_v obtain_v certain_a relaxation_n and_o dispensation_n from_o diverse_a strict_a clause_n and_o condition_n of_o the_o first_o institute_n and_o when_o she_o have_v also_o meet_v with_o some_o custom_n through_o which_o even_o herself_o have_v receive_v disadvantage_n by_o dissipation_n and_o diminution_n of_o spirit_n as_o namely_o in_o regard_n of_o great_a &_o public_a resort_n to_o the_o house_n and_o a_o multitude_n of_o unnecessary_a conversation_n and_o especial_o for_o that_o they_o be_v not_o bind_v to_o continual_a clausure_n but_o have_v liberty_n to_o go_v abroad_o though_o yet_o only_o by_o leave_n of_o their_o superior_n to_o visit_v their_o parent_n and_o near_a kindred_n at_o some_o time_n she_o grow_v into_o a_o full_a resolution_n that_o if_o ever_o it_o shall_v be_v in_o her_o power_n to_o free_v herself_o from_o that_o course_n and_o to_o set_v more_o limit_v bound_n upon_o her_o way_n and_o to_o invite_v other_o also_o by_o her_o example_n to_o express_v their_o great_a desire_n to_o gain_v and_o perfect_a soul_n she_o will_v not_o fail_v to_o put_v that_o purpose_n of_o she_o in_o execution_n and_o so_o after_o the_o expire_a of_o some_o time_n &_o the_o encounter_v of_o many_o impediment_n and_o the_o overcome_v a_o world_n of_o difficulty_n she_o grow_v to_o express_v her_o love_n to_o our_o b_o lord_n but_o in_o the_o person_n of_o such_o creature_n as_o for_o who_o he_o die_v to_o such_o a_o proportion_n and_o in_o so_o high_a a_o kind_n as_o to_o project_v and_o perfect_a so_o great_a and_o hard_o a_o work_n as_o that_o perhaps_o no_o woman_n will_v be_v see_v to_o have_v ever_o procure_v and_o perform_v the_o like_a for_o to_o reform_v a_o religious_a order_n and_o to_o reduce_v it_o to_o the_o first_o strict_a institute_n be_v a_o matter_n of_o much_o more_o difficulty_n then_o to_o find_v one_o and_o for_o a_o woman_n who_o be_v of_o no_o absolute_a power_n to_o command_v to_o pass_v through_o so_o many_o impediment_n and_o to_o win_v the_o prize_n and_o to_o adorn_v even_o that_o original_a rule_n itself_o with_o so_o many_o holy_a and_o wise_a document_n and_o constitution_n of_o her_o own_o for_o the_o raise_n and_o true_a refine_n of_o spirit_n according_a to_o the_o necessity_n and_o exigence_n of_o those_o present_a most_o deprave_a time_n make_v the_o business_n become_v yet_o more_o hard_a and_o strange_a on_o the_o one_o side_n and_o more_o useful_a also_o &_o more_o excellent_a on_o the_o other_o for_o as_o i_o conceive_v it_o to_o be_v a_o truth_n that_o there_o be_v no_o one_o approve_a order_n of_o religious_a people_n in_o the_o holy_a catholic_a church_n which_o be_v not_o of_o the_o best_a of_o all_o other_o in_o that_o way_n of_o spirit_n for_o which_o it_o be_v chief_o institute_v by_o almighty_a god_n and_o especial_o for_o those_o time_n in_o which_o it_o be_v institute_v so_o be_v it_o not_o only_a piety_n but_o even_o prudence_n also_o to_o believe_v that_o since_o this_o bless_a woman_n be_v stirred-up_a by_o god_n holy_a spirit_n in_o this_o age_n of_o we_o for_o the_o redress_n of_o our_o modern_a great_a disorder_n that_o his_o divine_a majesty_n
teresa_n and_o of_o those_o happy_a daughter_n of_o she_o who_o already_o begin_v to_o live_v under_o her_o rule_n and_o these_o be_v his_o very_a word_n i_o never_o see_v nor_o know_v the_o bless_a mother_n teresa_n of_o jesus_n while_o yet_o she_o be_v in_o this_o world_n but_o now_o when_o she_o live_v in_o heaven_n i_o know_v she_o and_o do_v in_o effect_n continual_o see_v she_o in_o two_o live_a image_n or_o picture_n of_o herself_o which_o she_o leave_v among_o we_o and_o those_o be_v her_o daughter_n &_o her_o book_n which_o serve_v also_o in_o my_o opinion_n for_o very_o faithful_a witness_n and_o superior_a to_o all_o kind_n of_o exception_n concern_v the_o proof_n of_o her_o great_a virtue_n for_o if_o i_o have_v but_o see_v the_o figure_n and_o feature_n of_o her_o face_n they_o will_v have_v inform_v i_o but_o of_o that_o part_n of_o her_o body_n and_o if_o i_o have_v hear_v she_o speak_v and_o discourse_n that_o may_v also_o have_v declare_v some_o part_n of_o the_o worth_a of_o her_o mind_n but_o the_o first_o will_v have_v be_v common_a to_o other_o &_o the_o second_o may_v have_v be_v subject_a to_o error_n to_o which_o these_o other_o be_v not_o subject_a in_o which_o i_o see_v she_o now_o for_o as_o solomon_n say_v a_o man_n may_v be_v know_v by_o his_o child_n and_o the_o fruit_n which_o any_o one_o leaf_n behind_o he_o when_o he_o go_v out_o of_o the_o world_n be_v the_o true_a testimony_n of_o the_o life_n which_o he_o lead_v when_o he_o be_v here_o and_o so_o we_o see_v that_o christ_n our_o lord_n himself_o when_o he_o be_v please_v in_o the_o holy_a gospel_n to_o put_v a_o difference_n between_o the_o good_a and_o the_o bad_a address_n man_n to_o consider_v their_o fruit_n for_o by_o their_o fruit_n say_v he_o you_o shall_v know_v they_o so_o that_o the_o virtue_n and_o sanctity_n of_o mother_n teresa_n which_o may_v perhaps_o have_v seem_v questionable_a &_o doubtful_a to_o i_o when_o i_o shall_v have_v see_v she_o here_o the_o same_o i_o hold_v to_o be_v both_o very_a evident_a and_o very_o certain_a whilst_o now_o i_o see_v she_o not_o by_o the_o view_n which_o i_o have_v of_o she_o both_o in_o her_o daughter_n &_o in_o those_o book_n which_o she_o have_v leave_v behind_o she_o for_o by_o the_o virtue_n which_o shine_v so_o bright_o in_o all_o those_o daughter_n of_o she_o we_o come_v to_o know_v without_o any_o error_n at_o all_o the_o great_a abundance_n of_o grace_n which_o it_o please_v almighty_a god_n to_o vouchsafe_v to_o she_o who_o he_o will_v ordain_v to_o be_v the_o mother_n of_o this_o new_a miracle_n and_o real_o that_o deserve_v to_o be_v hold_v for_o no_o less_o than_o a_o miracle_n which_o we_o see_v our_o bless_a lord_n to_o be_v do_v daily_o both_o in_o they_o and_o other_o by_o their_o mean_n nay_o if_o that_o must_v go_v for_o a_o miracle_n which_o happen_v beyond_o the_o natural_a course_n &_o order_n of_o thing_n there_o be_v in_o this_o particular_a so_o many_o of_o they_o which_o be_v both_o new_a and_o extraordinary_a as_o that_o to_o call_v they_o but_o a_o miracle_n be_v to_o say_v little_a for_o they_o be_v rather_o a_o assembly_n and_o heap_n of_o miracle_n for_o it_o be_v one_o miracle_n that_o a_o single_a woman_n alone_o shall_v have_v reduce_v a_o order_n both_o of_o man_n &_o woman_n to_o perfection_n and_o a_o second_o that_o the_o perfection_n to_o which_o she_o bring_v they_o be_v so_o great_a and_o high_a and_o a_o three_o to_o find_v to_o what_o a_o huge_a increase_n it_o be_v grow_v in_o so_o very_a few_o year_n from_o so_o small_a beginning_n and_o now_o every_o one_o of_o these_o three_o be_v a_o thing_n which_o deserve_v particular_a consideration_n for_o if_o it_o belong_v not_o to_o woman_n to_o teach_v but_o to_o be_v teach_v as_o s._n paul_n affirm_v it_o grow_v instant_o to_o be_v a_o kind_n of_o miracle_n that_o a_o weak_a &_o sickly_a woman_n shall_v be_v so_o full_a of_o courage_n as_o even_o to_o undertake_v so_o great_a a_o work_n as_o that_o and_o withal_o shall_v be_v so_o full_a of_o wisdom_n and_o efficacy_n as_o final_o to_o prevail_v therein_o and_o shall_v be_v also_o able_a to_o steal_v the_o very_a heart_n out_o of_o the_o body_n of_o they_o with_o who_o i_o she_o treat_v that_o so_o the_o may_v be_v able_a to_o give_v they_o to_o almighty_a god_n and_o carry_v such_o multitude_n of_o people_n after_o she_o towards_o the_o embrace_v of_o all_o such_o thing_n as_o be_v apprehend_v and_o abhor_v most_o by_o flesh_n and_o blood_n whereby_o i_o think_v it_o appear_v that_o in_o a_o time_n when_o the_o devil_n pretend_v to_o triumph_v in_o the_o multitude_n of_o those_o infidel_n who_o follow_v he_o and_o in_o the_o obstinacy_n of_o diverse_a heretical_a nation_n which_o take_v part_n with_o he_o &_o among_o the_o many_o vice_n of_o loose_a catholic_n who_o range_v themselves_o also_o on_o his_o side_n the_o majesty_n of_o almighty_a god_n will_v be_v please_v for_o the_o great_a contempt_n and_o scorn_v of_o the_o devil_n to_o advance_v and_o set_v before_o he_o not_o a_o man_n who_o shall_v be_v valiant_a &_o learned_a but_o a_o poor_a single_a woman_n who_o shall_v raiseup_a and_o plant_v a_o banner_n of_o defiance_n against_o he_o and_o shall_v public_o draw_v people_n together_o who_o may_v conquer_v he_o and_o trample_v upon_o he_o and_o even_o turn_v he_o in_o fine_a out_o of_o door_n and_o certain_o he_o be_v also_o resolve_v that_o it_o shall_v serve_v for_o a_o demonstration_n to_o the_o world_n and_o that_o in_o a_o time_n when_o so_o many_o thousand_o of_o man_n be_v seek_v to_o venture_v upon_o the_o spoil_n of_o his_o kingdom_n some_o by_o their_o erroneous_a understand_n and_o other_o by_o their_o deprave_a life_n and_o manner_n to_o prove_v how_o mighty_a and_o omnipotent_a he_o be_v by_o his_o introduce_v &_o enable_v a_o woman_n who_o shall_v both_o illuminate_v the_o mind_n and_o compose_v the_o affection_n and_o reform_v the_o action_n of_o many_o and_o that_o her_o child_n shall_v daily_o grow-up_a into_o great_a number_n towards_o the_o reparation_n of_o those_o ruin_n now_o in_o this_o as_o it_o be_v old_a age_n of_o his_o church_n he_o have_v be_v also_o please_v to_o show_v we_o that_o his_o grace_n be_v not_o grow_v old_a and_o weak_a and_o that_o the_o strength_n and_o virtue_n of_o his_o holy_a spirit_n be_v not_o less_o powerful_a at_o this_o day_n than_o it_o be_v former_o in_o those_o happy_a time_n of_o the_o primitive_a church_n since_o now_o by_o certain_a mean_n which_o be_v of_o a_o inferior_a and_o weak_a kind_n then_o before_o he_o do_v either_o the_o same_o or_o in_o effect_n the_o very_a same_o which_o he_o do_v then_o for_o to_o pass_v from_o the_o first_o miracle_n to_o the_o second_o the_o life_n which_o your_o reverence_n lead_v and_o the_o perfection_n wherein_o your_o holy_a mother_n have_v place_v you_o what_o be_v it_o but_o a_o picture_n of_o the_o sanctity_n of_o the_o holy_a primitive_a church_n for_o real_o that_o of_o which_o we_o read_v in_o the_o history_n of_o those_o time_n the_o self_n same_o thing_n do_v we_o see_v now_o with_o our_o very_a eye_n in_o your_o conversation_n and_o proceed_v and_o your_o life_n demonstrate_v that_o by_o your_o action_n and_o work_n which_o have_v late_o through_o the_o little_a practice_n thereof_o seem_v to_o be_v only_o find_v in_o paper_n and_o word_n and_o that_o which_o be_v read_v make_v man_n wonder_v yea_o and_o even_o flesh_n and_o blood_n do_v hardly_o know_v how_o to_o believe_v we_o see_v to_o be_v all_o accomplish_a and_o perform_v by_o your_o reverence_n and_o your_o holy_a community_n for_o how_o absolute_o be_v you_o all_o untie_v and_o free_v from_o whatsoever_o in_o fine_a be_v not_o god_n and_o how_o have_v you_o offer_v yourselves_o up_o into_o the_o arm_n of_o your_o celestial_a spouse_n in_o who_o you_o hourly_o embrace_v one_o another_o with_o mind_n of_o valiant_a man_n though_o in_o the_o body_n but_o of_o weak_a and_o delicate_a woman_n and_o how_o do_v you_o put_v in_o execution_n the_o most_o high_a and_o generous_a kind_n of_o christian_a philosophy_n which_o ever_o be_v so_o much_o as_o think_v of_o by_o man_n and_o so_o arrive_v by_o your_o action_n in_o order_n to_o a_o perfect_a life_n to_o the_o exercise_n of_o all_o heroical_a virtue_n where_o even_o the_o wit_n of_o man_n have_v scarce_o arrive_v with_o their_o imagination_n for_o you_o make_v litter_n of_o all_o the_o riches_n of_o this_o world_n you_o have_v liberty_n in_o hatred_n &_o honour_n in_o contempt_n and_o you_o love_v humility_n and_o mortification_n and_o all_o your_o attention_n and_o study_v seem_v ever_o
to_o consist_v in_o gain_v ground_n upon_o virtue_n by_o a_o holy_a kind_n of_o emulation_n and_o competition_n with_o one_o another_o and_o so_o also_o on_o the_o other_o side_n your_o spouse_n keep_v very_o close_a correspondence_n with_o you_o by_o infuse_v so_o very_o great_a strength_n of_o delight_n and_o joy_n into_o your_o soul_n as_o that_o you_o possess_v the_o treasure_n of_o true_a alacrity_n even_o in_o your_o very_a be_v deprive_v and_o strip_v of_o all_o those_o thing_n which_o be_v wont_a to_o give_v contentment_n to_o poore-harted_n people_n in_o this_o life_n and_o so_o you_o also_o with_o great_a generosity_n tread_v all_o worldly_a thing_n under_o your_o foot_n as_o person_n who_o be_v as_o it_o be_v exempt_v even_o from_o the_o law_n thereof_o or_o at_o least_o be_v grow_v superior_a to_o they_o all_o for_o neither_o do_v trouble_v or_o labour_v weary_a you_o nor_o clausure_n afflict_v you_o nor_o infirmity_n discourage_v you_o not_o even_o death_n amaze_v or_o fright_v you_o but_o rather_o yield_v himself_o up_o to_o be_v conquer_v by_o you_o but_o that_o which_o in_o the_o midst_n of_o all_o these_o particular_n serve_v to_o make_v the_o wonder_n very_o extreme_a be_v the_o great_a facility_n and_o gust_n wherewith_o you_o go_v through_o all_o these_o thing_n which_o of_o themselves_o be_v hard_a enough_o to_o be_v perform_v for_o mortification_n be_v matter_n of_o solace_n to_o you_o resignation_n as_o a_o kind_n of_o sport_n &_o penance_n a_o pastime_n and_o you_o go_v put_v that_o in_o execution_n which_o turn_v nature_n into_o admiration_n and_o you_o convert_v the_o exercise_n of_o the_o most_o heroical_a virtue_n into_o a_o pleasant_a kind_n of_o entertainment_n and_o all_o this_o as_o it_o be_v in_o a_o sport_v and_o rejoice_a way_n whereby_o in_o fine_a the_o certainty_n of_o those_o word_n of_o christ_n our_o lord_n that_o his_o yoke_n be_v sweet_a and_o his_o burden_n light_n grow_v to_o be_v find_v effectual_o true_a since_o no_o secular_a lady_n take_v so_o much_o pleasure_n in_o her_o ornament_n and_o attire_n as_o your_o reverence_n find_v it_o to_o be_v a_o thing_n of_o great_a joy_n and_o gust_n for_o you_o to_o lead_v the_o life_n even_o of_o angel_n and_o such_o do_v you_o seem_v real_o to_o be_v not_o only_o in_o the_o perfection_n of_o your_o life_n but_o in_o the_o union_n also_o &_o resemblance_n of_o mind_n which_o you_o maintain_v therein_o with_o one_o another_o since_o no_o two_o thing_n be_v more_o like_a one_o another_o than_o you_o be_v all_o among_o yourselves_o and_o every_o one_o to_o every_o other_o in_o your_o speech_n in_o your_o modesty_n in_o your_o humility_n in_o your_o discretion_n in_o your_o sweetness_n of_o spirit_n and_o final_o in_o your_o whole_a proceed_n and_o conversation_n for_o as_o the_o self_n same_o virtue_n and_o way_n of_o life_n animate_v you_o all_o so_o do_v it_o also_o frame_v you_o all_o after_o one_o manner_n and_o we_o see_v in_o you_o all_o as_o in_o so_o many_o pure_a crystal_a glass_n one_o kind_n of_o face_n and_o countenance_n which_o be_v that_o of_o your_o holy_a mother_n teresa_n derive_v down_o and_o stamp_v upon_o her_o daughter_n by_o mean_n whereof_o i_o see_v she_o now_o as_o i_o be_v say_v at_o the_o first_o with_o more_o evidence_n and_o clearness_n even_o without_o have_v former_o see_v she_o because_o her_o daughter_n be_v not_o only_o the_o livelie_a picture_n of_o her_o internal_a feature_n but_o the_o assure_a testimony_n also_o of_o her_o perfection_n and_o these_o be_v communicate_v to_o you_o all_o and_o they_o pass_v from_o one_o of_o you_o to_o another_o with_o so_o great_a speed_n which_o make_v the_o three_o miracle-up_a that_o in_o the_o space_n of_o twenty_o year_n for_o this_o falls-out_a to_o be_v the_o time_n since_o she_o found_v she_o first_o monastery_n till_o now_o spain_n alone_a be_v grow_v to_o be_v so_o full_a of_o her_o monastery_n that_o above_o a_o thousand_o religious_a person_n be_v daily_o serve_v almighty_a god_n in_o this_o country_n among_o who_o your_o reverence_n who_o be_v the_o religious_a woman_n of_o that_o order_n shine_v bright_o and_o that_o with_o as_o much_o difference_n as_o the_o great_a and_o fair_a star_n exceed_v the_o lesser_a for_o as_o it_o be_v a_o happy_a woman_n who_o give_v beginning_n to_o this_o reformation_n so_o it_o seem_v that_o the_o woman_n be_v they_o who_o in_o all_o thing_n have_v advantage_n of_o other_o and_o not_o only_o be_v the_o great_a &_o guide_a light_n of_o the_o order_n but_o be_v withal_o the_o very_a honour_n of_o our_o nation_n and_o the_o glory_n even_o of_o the_o age_n wherein_o we_o live_v and_o in_o fine_a you_o be_v those_o fair_a flower_n which_o beautify_v the_o great_a barrenness_n of_o the_o time_n and_o be_v certain_o the_o most_o rare_a and_o choice_a part_n of_o the_o church_n of_o god_n &_o livelie_a testimony_n of_o the_o efficacy_n of_o christ_n our_o lord_n and_o the_o evident_a proof_n of_o his_o sovereign_a virtue_n &_o final_o the_o express_a pattern_n whereby_o we_o take_v the_o daily_a experience_n of_o what_o be_v promise_v we_o by_o our_o faith_n and_o this_o be_v now_o as_o much_o as_o concern_v her_o daughter_n which_o be_v the_o former_a of_o those_o two_o image_n or_o picture_n of_o your_o holy_a mother_n whereof_o i_o speak_v nor_o be_v the_o second_o image_n or_o picture_n a_o whitt_n less_o miraculous_a than_o that_o former_a &_o it_o consist_v in_o her_o write_n &_o book_n wherein_o without_o any_o question_n at_o all_o the_o holy_a ghost_n vouchsafe_v and_o resolve_v that_o holy_a mother_n teresa_n shall_v remain_v as_o a_o rare_a example_n to_o the_o world_n etc._n etc._n all_o these_o be_v the_o very_a word_n of_o doctor_n lewis_n de_fw-fr leon._n by_o this_o you_o therefore_o see_v what_o judgement_n be_v make_v at_o that_o time_n of_o this_o admirable_a creature_n our_o glorious_a saint_n but_o by_o way_n of_o full_a conclusion_n to_o as_o much_o as_o i_o now_o intend_v to_o speak_v of_o her_o excellency_n i_o must_v needs_o add_v a_o clause_n or_o two_o which_o i_o find_v deliver_v by_o another_o eminent_a wise_a &_o learned_a author_n &_o it_o be_v father_n ribera_n a_o father_n of_o the_o society_n of_o jesus_n who_o write_v her_o whole_a life_n at_o large_a &_o together_o with_o it_o &_o indeed_o as_o a_o very_a part_n thereof_o he_o publish_v certain_a exclamation_n or_o loud_a aspiration_n which_o her_o enamour_a soul_n be_v wont_a to_o make_v to_o almighty_a god_n together_o with_o certain_a advertisement_n also_o concern_v the_o sense_n and_o feel_v of_o spirit_n which_o she_o find_v in_o herself_o with_o a_o signification_n how_o she_o be_v affect_v towards_o his_o divine_a majesty_n and_o final_o how_o she_o behave_v herself_o then_o in_o the_o growth_n of_o prayer_n and_o perfection_n now_o all_o this_o account_n of_o herself_o have_v be_v deliver_v by_o she_o in_o her_o own_o hand_n to_o her_o ghostly_a father_n though_o one_o part_n of_o it_o about_o a_o year_n soon_o than_o the_o other_o for_o the_o enable_v he_o the_o better_a to_o direct_v she_o and_o she_o do_v it_o all_o while_o she_o be_v yet_o in_o the_o monastery_n of_o the_o incarnation_n where_o she_o be_v place_v first_o before_o she_o have_v settle_v she_o own_o order_n &_o way_n of_o life_n according_a to_o the_o primitive_a institution_n thereof_o though_o yet_o she_o have_v even_o then_o begin_v to_o serve_v our_o bless_a lord_n in_o great_a earnest_n and_o then_o also_o do_v his_o divine_a majesty_n rain_v down_o abundance_n of_o supernatural_a favour_n upon_o her_o happy_a soul_n as_o the_o same_o exact_a author_n declare_v but_o that_o judgement_n which_o he_o make_v upon_o she_o i_o will_v here_o deliver_v to_o you_o since_o it_o be_v so_o very_o short_a and_o withal_o so_o very_o high_o significant_a for_o thus_o he_o say_v by_o this_o you_o may_v discern_v to_o how_o great_a perfection_n this_o happy_a soul_n arrive_v in_o so_o short_a a_o time_n which_o deserve_v to_o cast_v the_o world_n into_o admiration_n for_o since_o she_o in_o her_o beginning_n got-up_a towards_o the_o very_a top_n of_o that_o perfection_n which_o be_v wont_a to_o be_v acquire_v in_o this_o life_n even_o by_o saint_n to_o what_o pass_n will_v she_o arrive_v in_o the_o space_n of_o two_o or_o three_o and_o twenty_o year_n which_o she_o live_v afterward_o whilst_o she_o daily_o go_v increase_n in_o the_o love_n of_o almighty_a god_n by_o receive_v so_o many_o high_a favour_n from_o his_o divine_a majesty_n by_o perform_v so_o many_o pennance_n by_o endure_v so_o great_a affliction_n &_o tormets_n through_o sickness_n together_o with_o many_o persecution_n and_o trouble_n by_o sound_v so_o many_o monastery_n by_o gain_v so_o many_o soul_n by_o possess_v so_o
they_o but_o all_o goodness_n and_o all_o care_n also_o of_o my_o good_a but_o pass_v on_o from_o that_o tender_a age_n to_o be_v able_a to_o begin_v to_o understand_v the_o benefit_n and_o gift_n of_o nature_n which_o our_o lord_n have_v bestow_v upon_o i_o which_o other_o esteem_v and_o say_v to_o be_v great_a in_o steed_n of_o give_v he_o thanks_n for_o the_o same_o i_o begin_v to_o serve_v myself_o of_o they_o all_o towards_o the_o offence_n of_o his_o divine_a majesty_n as_o i_o shall_v now_o declare_v the_o second_o chapter_n which_o show_v how_o she_o go_v lose_v in_o the_o way_n of_o virtue_n and_o how_o very_o much_o it_o import_v to_o converse_v in_o childhood_n with_o virtuous_a person_n i_o believe_v that_o a_o certain_a thing_n whereof_o i_o will_v now_o give_v account_n begin_v to_o do_v i_o a_o great_a deal_n of_o hurt_n sometime_o i_o grow_v to_o consider_v how_o ill_o those_o parent_n do_v who_o procure_v not_o that_o their_o child_n shall_v be_v ever_o see_v example_n of_o virtue_n in_o all_o kind_n for_o though_o my_o mother_n be_v very_o eminent_a that_o way_n as_o i_o have_v say_v already_o yet_o i_o take_v not_o so_o much_o of_o that_o good_a to_o myself_o when_o first_o i_o come_v to_o the_o use_n of_o reason_n no_o nor_o almost_o even_o any_o thing_n at_o all_o and_o on_o the_o other_o side_n whatsoever_o there_o be_v of_o imperfect_a and_o ill_a do_v hurt_v i_o much_o my_o mother_n be_v very_o particular_o affect_v to_o read_v book_n of_o cavalleria_n or_o vain_a history_n but_o she_o take_v not_o so_o much_o hurt_v by_o that_o entertainment_n as_o i_o do_v because_o it_o hinder_v not_o that_o work_n the_o while_n about_o which_o she_o be_v but_o disengage_v we_o from_o other_o thing_n that_o so_o we_o may_v read_v they_o and_o perhaps_o she_o do_v it_o also_o the_o rather_o that_o she_o may_v so_o have_v her_o thought_n less_o bend_v upon_o the_o memory_n of_o the_o great_a affliction_n which_o she_o feel_v and_o to_o employ_v also_o her_o child_n in_o such_o sort_n as_o to_o divert_v they_o from_o the_o thought_n of_o worse_a thing_n my_o father_n be_v yet_o so_o much_o trouble_v at_o this_o that_o particular_a care_n be_v have_v that_o he_o may_v not_o kouw_v it_o but_o i_o in_o the_o mean_a time_n remain_v with_o the_o custom_n of_o read_v these_o book_n and_o that_o little_a fault_n of_o i_o which_o even_o i_o myself_o discern_v therein_o begin_v to_o cool_v my_o good_a desire_n and_o be_v the_o reason_n why_o i_o also_o grow_v to_o fail_v in_o the_o rest_n and_o i_o make_v myself_o believe_v that_o it_o be_v not_o very_o ill_o do_v though_o yet_o i_o spend_v many_o hour_n both_o of_o the_o day_n and_o night_n in_o so_o vain_a a_o exercise_n and_o though_o it_o be_v still_o conceal_v from_o my_o father_n but_o i_o be_v possess_v heerwith_n in_o such_o extremity_n that_o if_o perhaps_o i_o can_v not_o get_v some_o new_a book_n i_o see_v not_o how_o i_o can_v be_v in_o contentment_n i_o begin_v also_o to_o make_v myself_o fine_a and_o to_o desire_v to_o grow_v acceptable_a in_o seem_v handsome_a and_o i_o take_v much_o care_n of_o my_o hand_n and_o of_o my_o hair_n and_o to_o get_v choice_a perfume_n together_o with_o all_o those_o vanity_n which_o it_o be_v possible_a for_o i_o to_o incurte_n by_o this_o mean_n which_o i_o confess_v be_v enough_o in_o regard_n that_o i_o be_v very_o curious_a in_o this_o kind_n i_o have_v only_o no_o ill_a intention_n nor_o desire_v i_o upon_o any_o term_n that_o any_o creature_n shall_v offend_v almighty_a god_n upon_o any_o occasion_n of_o i_o but_o i_o continue_v in_o so_o great_a a_o curiosity_n for_o daintiness_n and_o cleanlines_n as_o be_v even_o beyond_o all_o reason_n and_o those_o thing_n which_o for_o many_o year_n i_o conceive_v to_o be_v of_o no_o sin_n at_o all_o i_o find_v now_o how_o very_o ill_o they_o be_v now_o i_o have_v certain_a cousin-german_n who_o frequent_v my_o father_n house_n in_o familiar_a manner_n no_o other_o have_v any_o such_o liberty_n as_o that_o for_o my_o father_n be_v very_o wary_a and_o reserve_v in_o this_o kind_n but_o i_o will_v to_o god_n he_o have_v also_o be_v so_o in_o respect_n of_o my_o cousin_n because_o now_o i_o discern_v the_o danger_n that_o it_o be_v for_o such_o as_o be_v to_o begin_v to_o plant_v virtue_n in_o the_o soul_n to_o treat_v with_o person_n who_o know_v not_o in_o true_a account_n how_o great_a the_o vanity_n of_o the_o world_n be_v but_o rather_o be_v incline_v to_o awake_v &_o stir_v other_o up_o to_o cast_v themselves_o also_o into_o the_o same_o danger_n these_o kinsman_n of_o i_o be_v in_o effect_n of_o my_o own_o age_n or_o rather_o a_o little_o elder_a than_o i._o we_o be_v usual_o together_o and_o they_o carry_v great_a affection_n to_o i_o and_o in_o all_o thing_n which_o give_v they_o contentment_n i_o be_v willing_a to_o uphold_v the_o discourse_n and_o give_v ear_n to_o the_o success_n of_o their_o love_n to_o other_o and_o such_o other_o foolery_n as_o be_v good_a for_o nothing_o yea_o and_o which_o be_v worse_o i_o grow_v by_o these_o mean_n to_o lay_v my_o soul_n open_a to_o be_v look_v upon_o by_o certain_a idle_a thought_n which_o be_v the_o cause_n of_o all_o the_o ensue_a ill_a if_o i_o be_v worthy_a to_o advise_v parent_n i_o will_v wish_v they_o to_o take_v great_a heed_n what_o kind_n of_o person_n they_o admit_v to_o converse_v with_o their_o child_n for_o much_o harm_n may_v grow_v from_o thence_o since_o the_o natural_a condition_n of_o mankind_n will_v never_o climb_v up_o so_o easy_o towards_o good_a as_o decline_v towards_o ill_n at_o least_o it_o happen_v so_o to_o i_o i_o have_v a_o sister_n much_o elder_a than_o myself_o of_o who_o purity_n and_o goodness_n whereof_o she_o have_v great_a store_n i_o take_v no_o part_n but_o i_o fail_v not_o to_o take_v all_o hurt_n from_o a_o certain_a other_o kinswoman_n of_o i_o who_o have_v also_o familiar_a entry_n into_o our_o house_n now_o she_o be_v of_o so_o light_a and_o guiddie_a a_o conversation_n that_o my_o mother_n have_v use_v several_a diligence_n to_o divert_v she_o from_o familiarity_n with_o us._n for_o it_o seem_v she_o do_v even_o half_o foresee_v the_o mischief_n which_o be_v to_o grow_v upon_o i_o by_o her_o mean_n and_o yet_o on_o the_o other_o side_n the_o occasion_n be_v so_o great_a &_o fair_a whereby_o she_o be_v to_o enter_v that_o even_o my_o mother_n can_v not_o tell_v how_o to_o decline_v it_o with_o this_o creature_n as_o i_o be_v say_v do_v i_o come_v to_o have_v much_o delight_n to_o entertain_v myself_o with_o she_o be_v my_o conversation_n and_o my_o discourse_n because_o i_o find_v that_o she_o employ_v herself_o willing_o upon_o all_o those_o way_n of_o pass_v my_o time_n wherein_o i_o delight_v most_o yea_o and_o sometime_o she_o will_v embark_v i_o in_o they_o of_o herself_o give_v i_o part_n and_o knowledge_n of_o all_o her_o own_o conversation_n and_o vanity_n till_o i_o begin_v to_o be_v familiar_a with_o she_o when_o i_o think_v i_o be_v some_o fourteen_o year_n old_a or_o rather_o a_o little_a more_o i_o mean_v till_o she_o have_v wrought_v herself_o into_o so_o much_o friendship_n with_o i_o as_o to_o make_v i_o partake_v the_o knowledge_n of_o all_o her_o little_a affair_n i_o be_o much_o incline_v to_o think_v that_o i_o have_v never_o forfeit_v the_o favour_n of_o almighty_a god_n by_o any_o mortal_a sin_n nor_o ever_o forsake_v the_o fear_n of_o his_o divine_a majesty_n though_o yet_o still_o i_o fear_v more_o to_o loose_v my_o honour_n this_o last_o point_n be_v of_o power_n enough_o with_o i_o for_o not_o permit_v i_o to_o loose_v it_o outright_o nor_o do_v i_o conceive_v that_o any_o thing_n of_o this_o world_n can_v make_v i_o change_v that_o resolution_n nor_o be_v there_o any_o person_n alive_a who_o can_v win_v i_o to_o yield_v myself_o up_o to_o that_o misery_n i_o will_v to_o god_n i_o have_v so_o abound_v in_o strength_n &_o courage_n as_o not_o to_o make_v one_o pace_n against_o the_o honour_n of_o his_o divine_a majesty_n as_o even_o a_o kind_n of_o natural_a constitution_n of_o mind_n confirm_v i_o towards_o the_o not_o lose_v that_o wherein_o i_o hold_v the_o honour_n of_o this_o world_n to_o consist_v though_o yet_o i_o consider_v not_o the_o while_n that_o i_o lose_v even_o that_o also_o many_o way_n for_o the_o vain_a uphold_v hereof_o i_o have_v even_o a_o extreme_a resolution_n though_o yet_o for_o the_o proper_a and_o fit_a mean_n which_o be_v necessary_a for_o preserve_v it_o i_o use_v none_o at_o all_o only_o i_o be_v earnest_a in_o take_v care_n that_o i_o may_v by_o
no_o mean_n lose_v myself_o outright_o my_o father_n and_o my_o sister_n be_v much_o trouble_v about_o this_o friendship_n of_o i_o and_o reprove_v i_o for_o it_o very_o often_o but_o yet_o they_o be_v unable_a to_o remove_v the_o occasion_n of_o her_o come_n to_o we_o at_o time_n their_o diligence_n be_v ever_o wont_a to_o fall_v short_a for_o my_o sagacity_n &_o sharp_a conceit_n in_o contrive_v any_o thing_n which_o may_v be_v ill_a be_v very_o great_a i_o be_o sometime_o upon_o this_o occasion_n in_o a_o wonder_n at_o how_o much_o hurt_n ill_a company_n may_v do_v and_o if_o it_o have_v not_o be_v my_o own_o case_n i_o can_v hardly_o believe_v it_o especial_o when_o it_o occurr_n in_o the_o time_n of_o innocent_a and_o fresh_a youth_n for_o then_o do_v it_o great_a hurt_n and_o i_o can_v wish_v that_o parent_n will_v take_v some_o warning_n by_o i_o that_o so_o they_o may_v consider_v it_o well_o for_o the_o truth_n be_v that_o this_o conversation_n do_v work_v such_o a_o entire_a change_n upon_o i_o that_o i_o who_o former_o have_v not_o only_o a_o soul_n but_o even_o a_o kind_n of_o natural_a constitution_n incline_v to_o virtue_n be_v grow_v to_o have_v in_o effect_n no_o semblance_n or_o sign_n at_o all_o thereof_o and_o it_o seem_v that_o both_o she_o and_o yet_o another_o who_o be_v upon_o the_o matter_n of_o the_o same_o humour_n have_v imprint_v their_o own_o condition_n upon_o i_o from_o hence_o also_o i_o be_o grow_v to_o understand_v how_o precious_a a_o thing_n good_a company_n be_v and_o i_o hold_v it_o for_o as_o good_a as_o a_o most_o certain_a truth_n that_o if_o in_o that_o age_n of_o i_o i_o have_v converse_v with_o only_o virtuous_a person_n myself_o shall_v have_v prove_v accomplish_v in_o the_o way_n of_o virtue_n and_o that_o if_o in_o those_o tender_a year_n i_o have_v meet_v with_o such_o as_o will_v have_v make_v it_o their_o business_n to_o make_v i_o fear_v almighty_a god_n my_o soul_n will_v have_v gather_v such_o strength_n as_o may_v have_v keep_v it_o from_o fall_v but_o afterward_o this_o fear_n of_o god_n grow_v to_o be_v lose_v the_o care_n only_o of_o my_o honour_n remain_v which_o give_v i_o a_o kind_n of_o torment_n in_o whatsoever_o i_o do_v but_o now_o with_o think_v that_o such_o and_o such_o thing_n will_v never_o be_v know_v i_o presume_v to_o do_v many_o which_o be_v both_o against_o my_o honour_n and_o against_o god_n in_o the_o beginning_n those_o thing_n do_v i_o harm_n as_o i_o be_o apt_a to_o think_v though_o yet_o perhaps_o that_o happen_v not_o by_o the_o fault_n of_o other_o but_o by_o my_o own_o but_o afterward_o my_o own_o malice_n fall_v out_o to_o be_v sufficient_a for_o my_o own_o mischief_n together_o with_o the_o help_n of_o my_o maid_n who_o be_v ready_a enough_o for_o any_o thing_n that_o be_v naught_o if_o any_o one_o of_o they_o have_v but_o advise_v i_o well_o it_o will_v have_v serve_v my_o turn_n but_o interest_n blind_v they_o as_o my_o inclination_n do_v i_o and_o though_o i_o never_o be_v addict_v to_o much_o ill_n for_o even_o natural_o i_o abhor_v such_o thing_n as_o concern_v dishonesty_n yet_o i_o like_v to_o pass_v my_o time_n in_o fair_a conversation_n but_o be_v afterward_o grow_v into_o the_o occasion_n the_o danger_n be_v near_a at_o hand_n and_o that_o bring_v also_o my_o father_n and_o my_o brother_n into_o some_o but_o god_n deliver_v i_o out_o of_o they_o in_o such_o sort_n as_o that_o it_o well_o appear_v how_o he_o be_v please_v to_o procure_v even_o against_o my_o will_n to_o preserve_v i_o from_o my_o total_a perdition_n though_o yet_o still_o thing_n can_v not_o be_v carry_v so_o private_o as_o that_o my_o honour_n do_v not_o suffer_v prejudice_n by_o it_o even_o abroad_o beside_o a_o little_a suspicion_n of_o my_o father_n at_o home_n for_o i_o remember_v not_o that_o they_o arrive_v to_o be_v three_o month_n of_o my_o walk_n up_o and_o down_o in_o these_o vanity_n when_o they_o carry_v i_o to_o a_o certain_a monastery_n in_o this_o town_n where_o they_o be_v wont_a to_o give_v education_n to_o such_o as_o i_o be_v though_o yet_o not_o so_o untoward_a as_o myself_o but_o it_o be_v do_v with_o great_a discretion_n and_o reserve_v for_o only_o i_o and_o a_o kinsman_n of_o i_o know_v of_o it_o and_o they_o stay_v a_o while_n for_o a_o certain_a coniuncture_n of_o thing_n to_o keep_v it_o from_o seem_v new_a or_o strange_a for_o my_o sister_n be_v then_o late_o marry_v and_o so_o it_o will_v not_o seem_v so_o very_o handsome_a that_o i_o shall_v stay_v at_o home_n alone_o without_o a_o mother_n the_o love_n which_o my_o father_n bear_v i_o be_v so_o extreme_a and_o so_o also_o be_v my_o dissimulation_n that_o he_o can_v not_o believe_v so_o much_o ill_o of_o i_o as_o i_o deserve_v and_o therefore_o i_o be_v not_o fall_v into_o his_o disfavour_v for_o the_o time_n have_v be_v but_o short_a though_o perhaps_o he_o may_v happen_v to_o hear_v of_o some_o little_a whisper_v yet_o it_o can_v never_o be_v deliver_v to_o he_o with_o any_o certainty_n in_o regard_n that_o i_o have_v so_o tender_a a_o care_n of_o myself_o in_o point_n of_o honour_n all_o my_o diligence_n be_v employ_v upon_o keep_v thing_n secret_a and_o i_o consider_v not_o the_o while_n how_o impossible_a a_o thing_n it_o be_v to_o hide_v any_o thing_n from_o he_o by_o who_o all_o thing_n be_v see_v o_o my_o god_n what_o a_o mischief_n do_v it_o bring_v upon_o the_o world_n to_o make_v light_n of_o this_o and_o to_o think_v that_o such_o thing_n can_v be_v secret_a as_o be_v repugnant_a to_o thy_o will_n for_o my_o part_n i_o hold_v it_o for_o certain_a that_o many_o great_a sin_n will_v be_v forbear_v if_o once_o we_o will_v grow_v to_o understand_v that_o the_o business_n do_v not_o consist_v in_o save_v ourselves_o harmless_a from_o man_n but_o in_o keep_v ourselves_o very_o far_o from_o digust_v almighty_a god_n during_o the_o first_o eight_o day_n of_o my_o be_v in_o the_o monastery_n i_o feit_z it_o much_o even_o for_o itself_o but_o yet_o more_o for_o the_o suspicion_n i_o have_v that_o my_o vanity_n be_v discover_v then_o for_o that_o i_o be_v place_v there_o for_o now_o already_o i_o become_v weary_a of_o do_v ill_a and_o i_o fail_v not_o to_o have_v great_a fear_n of_o almighty_a god_n whensoever_o i_o offend_v he_o and_o i_o procure_v to_o confess_v myself_o often_o but_o after_o those_o eight_o day_n yea_o &_o peradventure_o soon_o i_o grow_v to_o be_v better_o please_v there_o then_o even_o in_o my_o own_o father_n house_n all_o the_o religious_a be_v glad_a to_o be_v in_o my_o company_n for_o in_o this_o our_o lord_n endue_v i_o with_o a_o particular_a grace_n that_o i_o always_o give_v contentment_n wheresoever_o i_o be_v and_o so_o i_o use_v ever_o to_o be_v much_o belove_v and_o though_o i_o be_v at_o that_o time_n in_o extremity_n of_o be_v averse_a from_o become_v a_o religious_a woman_n yet_o i_o joy_v to_o see_v so_o good_a religious_a woman_n as_o they_o be_v after_o a_o eminent_a proportion_n in_o that_o house_n and_o of_o great_a purity_n and_o observance_n and_o recollection_n but_o yet_o notwithstanding_o all_o this_o the_o devil_n give_v not_o over_o to_o tempt_v i_o and_o he_o find_v out_o such_o person_n from_o abroad_o as_o may_v disquiet_v i_o with_o certain_a message_n of_o they_o but_o in_o regard_n there_o be_v no_o great_a opportunity_n for_o those_o thing_n they_o quick_o cease_v and_o my_o soul_n begin_v again_o to_o accustom_v itself_o to_o the_o good_a impression_n of_o my_o first_o youth_n and_o i_o see_v how_o great_a favour_n almighty_a god_n do_v they_o who_o he_o cast_v into_o their_o company_n who_o be_v good_a and_o it_o seem_v as_o if_o the_o divine_a majesty_n have_v go_v look_v and_o yet_o look_v again_o by_o what_o mean_v he_o may_v bring_v i_o back_o to_o himself_o bless_a be_v thou_o o_o lord_n who_o do_v endure_v i_o so_o long_o amen_n one_o particular_a there_o be_v which_o it_o seem_v may_v turn_v a_o little_a to_o my_o excuse_n if_o i_o have_v not_o be_v guilty_a of_o so_o many_o fault_n and_o it_o be_v that_o the_o conversation_n which_o i_o hold_v be_v with_o one_o who_o by_o way_n of_o marriage_n seem_v to_o make_v it_o probable_a to_o end_v well_o and_o i_o inform_v myself_o about_o it_o of_o my_o confessarius_fw-la and_o of_o other_o also_o with_o who_o i_o consult_v in_o many_o thing_n they_o tell_v i_o that_o i_o offend_v not_o almighty_a god_n but_o now_o one_o of_o the_o religious_a be_v lodge_v where_o we_o who_o be_v secular_a person_n be_v also_o accommodate_v and_o it_o seem_v that_o our_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o
give_v i_o light_n by_o her_o mean_n as_o i_o will_v now_o declare_v the_o three_o chapter_n wherein_o she_o treat_v how_o her_o fall_v into_o virtuous_a company_n be_v the_o occasion_n of_o she_o return_v to_o awake_a good_a desire_n in_o herself_o and_o how_o our_o lord_n begin_v to_o give_v she_o some_o light_n of_o the_o error_n wherein_o she_o have_v former_o be_v but_o now_o i_o begin_v to_o take_v gust_n in_o the_o good_a and_o holy_a conversation_n of_o this_o religious_a woman_n be_v joy_v to_o hear_v how_o well_o she_o be_v wont_a to_o speak_v of_o almighty_a god_n for_o she_o be_v both_o very_a holy_a and_o very_o discreet_a of_o this_o i_o conceive_v &_o confess_v i_o do_v never_o at_o any_o time_n give_v over_o to_o â—â—â—â—ery_o glad_a to_o hear_v she_o begin_v one_o day_n to_o tell_v nâ—â—â—â—ow_o she_o be_v grow_v to_o be_v a_o religious_a woman_n by_o the_o only_o read_v of_o that_o place_n of_o the_o gospel_n that_o many_o be_v call_v but_o few_o be_v choose_v and_o she_o speak_v much_o to_o i_o of_o the_o reward_n which_o our_o lord_n be_v wont_a to_o give_v to_o such_o as_o leave_v all_o thing_n for_o the_o love_n of_o he_o in_o a_o word_n this_o good_a society_n of_o she_o begin_v quick_o to_o put_v to_o flight_n those_o custom_n and_o condivons_a which_o ill_a company_n have_v bring_v upon_o i_o and_o restore_v the_o desire_n of_o eternal_a blessing_n to_o my_o thought_n yea_o and_o to_o strip_v i_o in_o some_o part_n of_o that_o great_a enmity_n and_o opposition_n against_o becominge_v a_o religious_a woman_n which_o former_o have_v be_v very_o extreme_a but_o now_o if_o i_o chance_v to_o see_v any_o one_o who_o shed_v many_o tear_n for_o her_o sin_n or_o else_o that_o she_o abound_v in_o other_o virtue_n i_o carry_v a_o kind_n of_o envy_n towards_o she_o though_o as_o for_o this_o hart_n of_o i_o it_o be_v so_o very_o hard_o and_o even_o impenetrable_a in_o this_o kind_n that_o if_o i_o shall_v have_v read_v over_o the_o whole_a history_n of_o the_o paision_n of_o our_o bless_a saviour_n i_o be_v not_o able_a to_o shed_v a_o tear_n and_o this_o put_v i_o to_o a_o great_a deal_n of_o pain_n in_o this_o monastery_n do_v i_o remain_v a_o year_n and_o a_o half_a and_o i_o be_v much_o improve_v there_o i_o begin_v to_o say_v many_o vocal_a prayer_n and_o i_o procure_v of_o all_o the_o religious_a that_o they_o will_v recommend_v i_o much_o to_o almighty_a god_n to_o the_o end_n that_o he_o may_v place_v i_o in_o such_o a_o way_n of_o life_n as_o wherein_o i_o may_v be_v likely_a to_o serve_v he_o best_o but_o still_o i_o do_v even_o desire_n that_o i_o may_v not_o be_v a_o religious_a woman_n and_o that_o this_o may_v not_o be_v the_o state_n which_o god_n will_v give_v i_o though_o yet_o still_o i_o be_v afraid_a to_o be_v marry_v but_o now_o at_o the_o end_n of_o the_o time_n when_o i_o be_v there_o i_o already_o begin_v to_o be_v more_o incline_v to_o be_v a_o religious_a woman_n though_o yet_o not_o in_o that_o very_a house_n where_o i_o be_v then_o in_o regard_n of_o those_o action_n of_o extraordinary_a virtue_n and_o penance_n which_o i_o understand_v they_o use_v and_o which_o seem_v to_o i_o of_o too_o much_o rigour_n yet_o there_o be_v some_o of_o the_o young_a sort_n of_o themselves_o who_o encourage_v i_o towards_o those_o formet_fw-la more_o imperfect_a thought_n for_o if_o they_o all_o have_v be_v of_o one_o opinion_n it_o will_v have_v be_v much_o to_o my_o true_a advantage_n i_o have_v also_o a_o great_a friend_n in_o another_o monastery_n and_o this_o be_v partly_o a_o reason_n why_o if_o i_o will_v be_v a_o religious_a woman_n i_o will_v not_o yet_o be_v so_o in_o any_o other_o place_n then_o where_o that_o friend_n of_o i_o be_v for_o i_o carry_v more_o respect_n to_o my_o sensuality_n and_o vanity_n then_o to_o the_o benefit_n which_o i_o may_v bring_v to_o my_o soul_n these_o good_a thought_n of_o be_v a_o religious_a woman_n be_v often_o come_v to_o i_o by_o time_n but_o they_o be_v instant_o send_v away_o again_o and_o i_o can_v not_o yet_o persuade_v myself_o to_o be_v one_o at_o this_o time_n though_o myself_o be_v not_o altogether_o without_o care_n of_o my_o cure_n yet_o our_o lord_n be_v much_o full_a of_o desire_n to_o dispose_v i_o for_o that_o state_n which_o will_v be_v best_a for_o my_o soul_n he_o then_o give_v i_o so_o great_a a_o sickness_n that_o i_o be_v force_v to_o return_v home_o to_o my_o father_n house_n and_o when_v once_o i_o be_v recover_v they_o conduct_v i_o to_o give_v a_o visit_n to_o one_o of_o my_o sister_n in_o the_o country_n for_o the_o love_n which_o i_o bear_v she_o be_v extreme_a and_o by_o her_o will_n i_o shall_v never_o have_v part_v from_o she_o her_o husband_n do_v also_o love_v i_o very_o much_o and_o at_o least_o he_o regale_v i_o high_o and_o even_o for_o this_o also_o be_o i_o oblige_v to_o our_o bless_a lord_n since_o in_o all_o place_n where_o i_o have_v be_v i_o be_v ever_o treat_v after_o this_o manner_n notwithstanding_o that_o i_o have_v be_v as_o unthankful_a to_o he_o for_o it_o as_o for_o his_o other_o favour_n now_o by_o the_o way_n towards_o my_o sister_n i_o have_v a_o uncle_n my_o father_n brother_n who_o be_v a_o very_a advise_a man_n and_o of_o great_a virtue_n he_o be_v a_o widower_n and_o our_o lord_n go_v dispose_v he_o for_o his_o own_o service_n and_o when_o he_o grow_v on_o to_o be_v of_o year_n he_o leave_v the_o world_n and_o become_v a_o religious_a man_n and_o end_v his_o life_n in_o such_o sort_n that_o i_o believe_v he_o be_v now_o enjoy_v the_o vision_n of_o almighty_a god_n but_o he_o will_v needs_o have_v i_o as_o i_o pass_v remain_v with_o he_o some_o day_n his_o usual_a exercise_n be_v to_o read_v good_a book_n in_o the_o spanish_a tongue_n and_o his_o discourse_n be_v most_o common_o of_o god_n and_o of_o the_o vanity_n of_o the_o world_n and_o those_o book_n will_v he_o also_o make_v i_o read_v and_o though_o i_o have_v no_o great_a like_n to_o this_o yet_o i_o pretend_v that_o i_o have_v for_o in_o the_o point_n of_o give_v contentment_n to_o other_o i_o have_v ever_o a_o extreme_a kind_n of_o care_n how_o dear_a soever_o it_o may_v cost_v i_o so_o that_o the_o same_o thing_n which_o have_v be_v virtue_n in_o other_o be_v a_o great_a fault_n in_o i_o because_o i_o often_o carry_v myself_o therein_o with_o much_o indiscretion_n o_o my_o god_n by_o what_o way_n do_v thy_o divine_a majesty_n go_v dispose_v i_o for_o that_o state_n in_o which_o thou_o be_v please_v that_o i_o shall_v serve_v thou_o since_o thou_o do_v even_o force_v i_o thus_o as_o it_o be_v against_o my_o will_n to_o force_v myself_o be_v thou_o bless_v for_o all_o eternity_n amen_o though_o i_o stay_v not_o long_o in_o that_o place_n yet_o by_o the_o effect_n which_o the_o word_n of_o almighty_a god_n wrought_v in_o my_o hart_n whether_o they_o be_v read_v or_o hear_v by_o i_o together_o with_o so_o good_a company_n as_o that_o be_v wherein_o i_o find_v myself_o then_o i_o come_v to_o understand_v this_o truth_n which_o i_o have_v learn_v when_o i_o be_v yet_o but_o a_o child_n that_o namely_o all_o be_v nothing_o and_o how_o great_a the_o vanity_n of_o the_o world_n be_v and_o that_o all_o will_v be_v short_o at_o a_o end_n and_o that_o i_o may_v just_o fear_v least_o die_v in_o that_o condition_n wherein_o i_o be_v i_o may_v chance_v go_v drop_v down_o into_o hell_n and_o though_o my_o will_n do_v not_o yet_o entire_o resolve_v i_o to_o make_v myself_o a_o religious_a woman_n yet_o i_o well_o discern_v that_o it_o be_v the_o better_a and_o more_o secure_a state_n and_o so_o by_o little_a and_o little_a i_o determine_v to_o force_v my_o hart_n to_o embrace_v it_o in_o this_o battle_n i_o remain_v three_o month_n constrain_a myself_o at_o last_o by_o this_o follow_a discourse_n and_o reason_n that_o the_o trouble_n and_o affliction_n of_o be_v a_o religious_a woman_n can_v not_o be_v great_a than_o the_o pain_n of_o purgatory_n and_o that_o i_o have_v so_o well_o deserve_v hell_n it_o be_v not_o to_o be_v esteem_v too_o much_o if_o i_o remain_v while_o i_o shall_v live_v here_o as_o in_o purgatory_n so_o that_o afterward_o i_o may_v go_v straight_o to_o heaven_n for_o this_o be_v my_o desire_n but_o yet_o even_o in_o this_o inclination_n of_o i_o to_o take_v this_o state_n upon_o i_o i_o doubt_v i_o be_v more_o move_v by_o a_o kind_n of_o servile_a fear_n then_o by_o love._n the_o devil_n in_o the_o mean_a time_n represent_v to_o i_o that_o i_o will_v never_o
yet_o can_v not_o be_v too_o great_a a_o demonstration_n when_o i_o weigh_v how_o deep_o i_o offend_v thou_o afterward_o now_o i_o think_v that_o i_o have_v reason_n before_o in_o not_o desire_v so_o great_a a_o dignity_n as_o this_o consider_v how_o ill_o i_o be_v like_a to_o employ_v it_o but_o thou_o o_o my_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o permit_v that_o i_o may_v use_v this_o favour_n so_o ill_o twenty_o year_n together_o and_o will_v content_v thyself_o to_o be_v the_o person_n affront_v that_o i_o may_v be_v the_o person_n improve_v for_o it_o seem_v not_o to_o i_o now_o o_o my_o god_n that_o i_o make_v thou_o any_o promise_n of_o any_o thing_n but_o only_o that_o i_o will_v keep_v no_o promise_n which_o i_o have_v make_v thou_o though_o yet_o my_o intention_n be_v not_o such_o at_o that_o time_n and_o yet_o i_o find_v my_o action_n to_o have_v grow_v afterward_o to_o be_v such_o that_o i_o may_v very_o well_o think_v i_o scarce_o know_v what_o kind_n of_o intention_n i_o have_v and_o thus_o it_o may_v the_o better_o be_v see_v who_o thou_o be_v o_o my_o spouse_n and_o my_o god_n and_o who_o i_o be_o for_o it_o be_v real_o a_o express_a truth_n that_o the_o grief_n for_o my_o very_a great_a sin_n be_v temper_v in_o i_o many_o time_n by_o the_o contentment_n which_o this_o consideration_n give_v i_o that_o my_o sinnefulnes_n may_v prove_v a_o mean_n to_o make_v the_o multitude_n of_o thy_o mercy_n be_v understand_v for_o in_o who_o o_o lord_n can_v they_o ever_o shine_v so_o bright_o as_o in_o i_o who_o have_v by_o my_o wicked_a action_n so_o obscure_v those_o great_a favour_n which_o thou_o begin_v to_o do_v i_o ah_o woe_n be_v i_o o_o my_o creator_n for_o if_o i_o look_v for_o any_o excuse_n i_o can_v find_v none_o nor_o have_v any_o creature_n the_o fault_n of_o it_o but_o only_o myself_o and_o if_o i_o will_v pretend_v to_o pay_v thou_o any_o thing_n for_o the_o least_o part_n of_o that_o love_n which_o thou_o begin_v to_o show_v i_o i_o shall_v not_o know_v how_o to_o employ_v it_o upon_o any_o thing_n but_o only_o thyself_o and_o thereby_o may_v all_o be_v redress_v since_o i_o never_o deserve_v the_o same_o nor_o be_v i_o ever_o so_o happy_a as_o to_o do_v even_o this_o and_o therefore_o now_o o_o lord_n let_v thy_o mercy_n vouchsafe_v to_o supply_v all_o want_n but_o now_o the_o change_n which_o i_o make_v of_o my_o life_n and_o the_o difference_n of_o my_o food_n at_o this_o time_n from_o the_o former_a begin_v to_o do_v i_o hurt_v in_o the_o way_n of_o health_n for_o though_o the_o contentment_n which_o i_o have_v be_v great_a yet_o will_v it_o not_o serve_v the_o turn_n my_o fit_n of_o faint_a and_o swoon_v begin_v again_o to_o increase_v and_o such_o a_o hideous_a beat_n of_o the_o hart_n come_v upon_o i_o as_o amazed_z all_z they_o who_o see_v it_o beside_o many_o other_o infirmity_n and_o thus_o i_o pass_v on_o my_o first_o year_n with_o a_o kind_n of_o health_n which_o be_v ill_a enough_o though_o yet_o within_o that_o time_n i_o conceive_v myself_o not_o to_o have_v offend_v god_n much_o but_o my_o sickness_n be_v so_o great_a that_o it_o deprive_v i_o almost_o of_o my_o sense_n yea_o and_o sometime_o i_o be_v whole_o deprive_v the_o diligence_n which_o my_o father_n use_v for_o my_o recovery_n be_v also_o very_o great_a and_o when_o the_o doctor_n of_o those_o part_n find_v no_o remedy_n he_o procure_v to_o get_v i_o remove_v to_o a_o certain_a place_n where_o there_o be_v great_a fame_n of_o the_o cure_v many_o other_o infirmity_n and_o so_o they_o assure_v themselves_o that_o they_o will_v be_v able_a to_o do_v also_o with_o i_o that_o friend_n who_o i_o mention_v to_o be_v in_o that_o house_n go_v with_o i_o for_o she_o be_v of_o year_n and_o in_o the_o monastery_n where_o she_o live_v they_o make_v no_o vow_n of_o clausure_n i_o stay_v almost_o a_o year_n in_o that_o other_o place_n and_o during_o three_o month_n thereof_o i_o suffer_v so_o excessive_a torment_n by_o the_o manner_n of_o the_o cure_n which_o be_v very_o rigorous_a that_o i_o know_v not_o how_o i_o be_v able_a to_o endure_v they_o and_o though_o i_o do_v endure_v they_o yet_o i_o think_v it_o be_v not_o my_o body_n which_o can_v do_v it_o as_o i_o will_v now_o declare_v this_o cure_n be_v to_o be_v take_v in_o hand_n in_o the_o begin_n of_o summer_n and_o i_o go_v in_o the_o begin_n of_o winter_n all_o this_o mean_a time_n i_o remain_v in_o the_o house_n of_o that_o sister_n of_o who_o i_o speak_v before_o who_o dwell_v in_o the_o country_n because_o i_o be_v then_o near_o the_o place_n and_o yet_o it_o be_v very_o troublesome_a to_o be_v go_v and_o come_v to_z and_o fro_o when_o i_o depart_v from_o that_o uncle_n of_o i_o who_o i_o declare_v myself_o to_o have_v visit_v in_o the_o way_n he_o give_v i_o a_o certain_a book_n which_o be_v call_v the_o three_o a._n b._n c._n which_o treat_v of_o the_o manner_n of_o prayer_n with_o recollection_n now_o though_o in_o that_o first_o year_n i_o have_v read_v some_o good_a book_n forbear_v utter_o to_o look_v upon_o any_o other_o for_o i_o be_v not_o ignorant_a of_o the_o hurt_n which_o such_o as_o those_o have_v do_v i_o yet_o i_o know_v not_o how_o to_o proceed_v in_o prayer_n nor_o how_o to_o obtain_v recollection_n and_o so_o i_o be_v very_o glad_a of_o this_o book_n and_o determine_v to_o follow_v that_o way_n to_o the_o uttermost_a of_o my_o power_n and_o since_o our_o lord_n have_v already_o be_v please_v to_o bestow_v the_o gift_n of_o tear_n upon_o i_o and_o since_o i_o delight_v also_o in_o read_v i_o begin_v to_o spend_v some_o good_a fit_n of_o time_n in_o solitude_n and_o to_o confess_v myself_o very_o often_o and_o in_o a_o word_n to_o address_v myself_o by_o that_o way_n esteem_v that_o book_n to_o be_v my_o master_n for_o i_o can_v meet_v with_o no_o other_o master_n i_o mean_v a_o ghostly_a father_n who_o be_v able_a to_o understand_v i_o though_o i_o fight_v such_o a_o one_o almost_o twenty_o year_n after_o this_o time_n which_o accident_n do_v i_o hurt_v enough_o towards_o the_o make_v i_o turn_v back_o often_o yea_o and_o for_o the_o make_v i_o loose_v myself_o but_o such_o a_o one_o will_v have_v daily_o assist_v i_o to_o lay_v aside_o and_o leave_v those_o occasion_n which_o i_o take_v to_o offend_v almighty_a god_n in_o these_o beginning_n his_o divine_a majesty_n begin_v to_o do_v i_o so_o great_a favour_n that_o at_o the_o end_n of_o the_o time_n when_o i_o remain_v there_o which_o be_v about_o nine_o month_n in_o this_o way_n of_o solitude_n though_o i_o be_v not_o so_o free_a from_o offend_v god_n as_o the_o book_n appoint_v which_o i_o neglect_v as_o hold_v it_o impossible_a to_o continue_v still_o so_o watchful_a over_o myself_o i_o be_v careful_a not_o to_o commit_v any_o mortal_a sin_n and_o i_o will_v to_o god_n i_o have_v always_o be_v so_o but_o of_o veniall_n i_o make_v no_o great_a account_n and_o this_o be_v that_o in_o fine_a which_o destroy_v i_o but_o our_o lord_n begin_v to_o regale_n i_o so_o much_o by_o this_o way_n that_o he_o vouchsafe_v i_o the_o favour_n to_o give_v i_o quiet_a prayer_n and_o sometime_o it_o come_v so_o far_o as_o to_o arrive_v to_o union_n though_o i_o understand_v neither_o the_o one_o nor_o the_o other_o nor_o how_o much_o they_o both_o deserve_v to_o be_v prize_v but_o i_o believe_v it_o will_v have_v be_v a_o great_a deal_n of_o happiness_n for_o i_o to_o have_v understand_v the_o certainty_n thereof_o true_a it_o be_v that_o this_o union_n rest_v with_o i_o for_o so_o short_a a_o time_n that_o perhaps_o it_o may_v arrive_v to_o be_v but_o as_o of_o a_o aue_fw-la maria_fw-la yet_o i_o remain_v with_o so_o very_o great_a effect_n thereof_o that_o with_o not_o be_v then_o so_o much_o as_o twenty_o year_n old_a i_o think_v i_o find_v the_o whole_a world_n under_o my_o foot_n and_o so_o i_o remember_v well_o that_o i_o be_v wont_a to_o carry_v great_a compassion_n towards_o such_o as_o followed_z the_o way_n of_o the_o world_n though_o it_o be_v but_o even_o in_o lawful_a thing_n i_o procure_v the_o best_a i_o can_v to_o carry_v our_o lord_n who_o be_v our_o true_a good_a still_o present_a with_o i_o and_o even_o within_o i_o and_o this_o be_v the_o manner_n of_o my_o prayer_n if_o i_o think_v upon_o any_o passage_n or_o mystery_n i_o represent_v it_o to_o the_o interior_a of_o myself_o and_o other_o time_n i_o spend_v in_o read_v good_a book_n which_o be_v all_o the_o recreation_n that_o i_o have_v for_o god_n give_v not_o i_o the_o talon_n
of_o discourse_v with_o my_o understanding_n nor_o to_o help_v myself_o by_o the_o use_n of_o my_o imagination_n which_o i_o have_v so_o heavy_a and_o gross_a that_o even_o to_o think_v and_o represent_v within_o myself_o so_o much_o as_o the_o humanity_n of_o our_o bless_a lord_n which_o i_o endeavour_v to_o do_v be_v yet_o more_o than_o i_o can_v possible_o perform_v and_o howsoever_o by_o this_o way_n of_o not_o be_v able_a to_o employ_v and_o set_v the_o understanding_n on_o work_n in_o the_o way_n of_o discourse_n man_n may_v soon_o arrive_v to_o contemplation_n if_o they_o persevere_v therein_o yet_o be_v it_o very_o troublesome_a and_o painful_a because_o if_o the_o employment_n of_o the_o will_n do_v fail_v so_o far_o of_o obtain_v the_o true_a end_n as_o that_o their_o love_n find_v no_o present_a object_n to_o embrace_v the_o soul_n be_v leave_v as_o it_o be_v without_o any_o exercise_n and_o rest_n at_o all_o and_o that_o kind_a of_o solitude_n and_o dryness_n give_v much_o trouble_n and_o open_v the_o way_n to_o a_o combat_n and_o confusion_n of_o thought_n as_o for_o person_n who_o have_v this_o disposition_n there_o be_v need_n of_o a_o great_a purity_n of_o conscience_n then_o for_o such_o other_o as_o be_v able_a to_o work_v and_o discourse_n by_o way_n of_o the_o understanding_n for_o he_o who_o be_v able_a to_o discourse_v upon_o what_o this_o world_n be_v and_o upon_o what_o he_o owe_v to_o almighty_a god_n and_o how_o much_o he_o suffer_v for_o he_o and_o how_o little_a himself_o be_v able_a to_o serve_v he_o and_o what_o he_o bestow_v upon_o such_o as_o love_v he_o will_v be_v able_a to_o draw_v a_o doctrine_n from_o thence_o which_o may_v defend_v he_o from_o impertinent_a thought_n and_o occasion_n and_o danger_n but_o he_o who_o can_v not_o serve_v himself_o thereof_o run_v more_o hazard_n and_o shall_v therefore_o do_v well_o to_o employ_v himself_o much_o upon_o read_v since_o on_o his_o own_o part_n he_o know_v not_o how_o to_o help_v himself_o this_o manner_n of_o proceed_v be_v so_o very_o extreme_o painful_a that_o if_o the_o director_n who_o instruct_v shall_v urge_v he_o much_o to_o pray_v without_o read_v which_o great_o help_v to_o recollect_v the_o person_n who_o proceed_v thus_o yea_o and_o be_v necessary_a for_o he_o though_o it_o be_v little_a which_o he_o read_v save_v only_o in_o time_n and_o place_n of_o mental_a prayer_n which_o he_o be_v not_o able_a to_o make_v i_o say_v if_o without_o this_o help_n they_o make_v he_o stay_v much_o in_o prayer_n it_o will_v be_v impossible_a for_o he_o to_o last_v long_o therein_o and_o beside_o it_o will_v do_v he_o hurt_v in_o point_n of_o health_n for_o it_o be_v extreme_o painful_a now_o it_o seem_v that_o our_o lord_n provide_v so_o for_o i_o as_o that_o i_o shall_v not_o find_v any_o creature_n to_o instruct_v i_o for_o it_o have_v be_v impossible_a for_o i_o i_o think_v to_o continue_v to_o endure_v this_o extreme_a difficulty_n and_o these_o great_a aridity_n through_o my_o not_o be_v able_a as_o i_o be_v say_v to_o discourse_v in_o all_o these_o time_n i_o never_o dare_v begin_v to_o pray_v without_o a_o book_n in_o my_o hand_n unless_o it_o be_v instant_o upon_o my_o have_v communicate_v and_o as_o hearty_o be_v my_o soul_n afraid_a to_o be_v in_o prayer_n without_o a_o book_n as_o if_o i_o have_v be_v to_o fight_v with_o a_o multitude_n of_o people_n but_o by_o this_o remedy_n of_o a_o good_a book_n which_o be_v as_o a_o company_n of_o guard_n or_o as_o a_o buckler_n upon_o which_o the_o blow_n of_o many_o thought_n be_v to_o be_v receive_v i_o go_v on_o with_o comfort_n for_o that_o dryness_n be_v not_o ordinary_a with_o i_o though_o i_o have_v it_o always_o whensoever_o i_o have_v no_o book_n in_o my_o hand_n but_o then_o my_o soul_n be_v instant_o in_o disorder_n and_o my_o thought_n wander_v up_o and_o down_o but_o with_o read_v i_o begin_v to_o recollect_v they_o and_o carry_v my_o hart_n cheerful_o and_o delightful_o on_o yea_o and_o many_o time_n in_o the_o very_a open_v my_o book_n i_o find_v myself_o need_v no_o more_o sometime_o also_o i_o read_v little_a and_o sometime_o much_o according_a to_o the_o favour_n which_o our_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o do_v i_o more_o or_o less_o and_o it_o seem_v to_o i_o that_o if_o in_o those_o beginning_n whereof_o i_o speak_v i_o may_v have_v have_v book_n and_o mean_n to_o continue_v in_o solitude_n there_o will_v have_v be_v no_o danger_n which_o can_v have_v be_v able_a to_o deprive_v i_o of_o so_o great_a a_o good_a and_o i_o be_o also_o apt_a to_o think_v that_o by_o the_o favour_n of_o almighty_a god_n it_o will_v have_v prove_v so_o if_o i_o have_v have_v a_o director_n or_o some_o person_n who_o may_v have_v counsel_v i_o to_o avoid_v occasion_n in_o those_o beginning_n and_o to_o make_v i_o forsake_v they_o quick_o if_o i_o have_v be_v enter_v into_o they_o yea_o and_o though_o the_o devil_n shall_v then_o have_v set_v open_o upon_o i_o i_o think_v that_o i_o will_v never_o have_v be_v bring_v to_o offend_v god_n grievous_o again_o but_o he_o be_v so_o very_o crafty_a and_o i_o so_o wretched_a that_o all_o these_o resolution_n of_o i_o do_v i_o little_a good_a but_o the_o time_n which_o i_o spend_v in_o god_n service_n do_v i_o very_o much_o towards_o the_o bear_n those_o terrible_a sickness_n which_o i_o endure_v with_o so_o great_a patience_n as_o his_o divine_a majesty_n vouchsafe_v to_o bestow_v upon_o i_o i_o have_v often_o consider_v the_o great_a goodness_n of_o almighty_a god_n even_o with_o amazement_n and_o my_o soul_n have_v be_v regale_v to_o see_v the_o magnificence_n of_o his_o mercy_n towards_o i_o let_v he_o be_v bless_v for_o all_o thing_n for_o i_o have_v see_v in_o most_o evident_a manner_n that_o he_o have_v not_o leave_v any_o one_o good_a desire_n of_o i_o without_o recompense_n even_o in_o this_o life_n and_o how_o imperfect_a and_o full_a of_o fault_n soever_o my_o work_n be_v yet_o this_o lord_n of_o i_o go_v better_v and_o perfect_v they_o and_o give_v they_o worth_a and_o my_o sin_n and_o misery_n he_o will_v instant_o hide_v yea_o his_o divine_a majesty_n have_v permit_v that_o even_o the_o eye_n of_o such_o as_o see_v they_o shall_v be_v blind_v and_o their_o memory_n fail_v when_o they_o will_v remember_v they_o he_o even_o guild_v our_o fault_n and_o make_v that_o virtue_n shine_v bright_a which_o he_o the_o same_o lord_n convey_v into_o i_o and_o wherein_o he_o offer_v i_o even_o a_o kind_n of_o violence_n that_o i_o may_v receive_v it_o but_o i_o will_v now_o return_v to_o speak_v of_o those_o thing_n which_o they_o have_v command_v i_o to_o declare_v and_o i_o say_v that_o if_o i_o be_v to_o set_v forth_o after_o a_o particular_a manner_n in_o what_o sort_n our_o lord_n proceed_v with_o i_o in_o these_o beginning_n i_o shall_v need_v another_o manner_n of_o understanding_n than_o my_o own_o to_o perform_v all_o that_o with_o advantage_n for_o which_o i_o be_o oblige_v to_o he_o in_o this_o particular_a and_o to_o publish_v my_o own_o ingratitude_n and_o wickedness_n since_o he_o have_v forget_v it_o all_o let_v he_o be_v bless_v for_o ever_o who_o have_v endure_v so_o much_o at_o my_o hand_n amen_o the_o five_o chapter_n she_o prosecute_v the_o relation_n of_o the_o great_a infirmity_n which_o she_o have_v and_o of_o the_o patience_n which_o our_o lord_n give_v she_o in_o they_o and_o how_o benefit_n be_v draw_v out_o of_o mischief_n as_o will_v be_v see_v by_o a_o certain_a particular_a which_o happen_v to_o she_o in_o the_o place_n whither_o she_o go_v to_o be_v cure_v i_o forget_v to_o relate_v how_o in_o the_o year_n of_o my_o novitiate_a i_o suffer_v much_o disquiet_n about_o some_o thing_n which_o in_o themselves_o be_v of_o little_a importance_n but_o i_o find_v myself_o to_o be_v blame_v many_o time_n without_o my_o have_v make_v any_o fault_n and_o this_o i_o take_v with_o trouble_n and_o imperfection_n enough_o though_o yet_o i_o endure_v it_o all_o through_o the_o contentment_n which_o i_o have_v to_o be_v a_o religious_a woman_n when_o they_o observe_v i_o to_o love_v solitude_n so_o well_o and_o see_v i_o shed_v tear_n sometime_o which_o yet_o indeed_o be_v for_o my_o sin_n they_o think_v yea_o and_o they_o say_v that_o it_o grow_v but_o from_o some_o inward_a melancholy_n and_o disgust_v for_o my_o part_n i_o have_v a_o good_a inclination_n to_o all_o the_o observance_n of_o a_o religious_a life_n save_v only_o that_o i_o know_v not_o how_o to_o endure_v any_o thing_n which_o may_v carry_v so_o much_o as_o a_o appearance_n of_o contempt_n with_o it_o for_o i_o delight_v in_o be_v esteem_v
also_o with_o have_v begin_v so_o to_o use_v prayer_n as_o that_o i_o may_v be_v able_a to_o carry_v my_o pain_n with_o much_o conformity_n to_o his_o holy_a will_n the_o conversation_n of_o my_o hart_n be_v whole_o with_o he_o and_o i_o carry_v these_o word_n of_o job_n very_o usual_o both_o in_o my_o thought_n and_o in_o my_o mouth_n since_o we_o have_v receive_v blessing_n and_o benefit_n at_o the_o hand_n of_o our_o lord_n why_o shall_v we_o not_o also_o suffer_v affliction_n and_o i_o conceive_v that_o this_o help_v to_o give_v i_o courage_n at_o length_n come_v the_o feast_n of_o our_o b._n lady_n in_o august_n for_o till_o then_o from_o the_o april_n before_o have_v my_o torment_n continue_v though_o yet_o it_o have_v be_v great_a in_o the_o three_o last_o month_n i_o than_o make_v haste_n to_o go_v to_o confession_n for_o i_o ever_o take_v much_o contentment_n to_o confess_v often_o my_o friend_n think_v that_o it_o be_v fear_n of_o death_n which_o invite_v i_o to_o be_v so_o devout_a and_o so_o to_o the_o end_n that_o i_o may_v not_o be_v put_v into_o apprehension_n my_o father_n will_v not_o let_v i_o confess_v o_o inordinate_a and_o irregular_a love_n of_o flesh_n and_o blood_n since_o though_o i_o have_v so_o catholic_n a_o father_n and_o so_o full_a of_o prudence_n and_o consideration_n in_o all_o his_o action_n which_o even_o abound_v in_o he_o for_o this_o can_v not_o be_v a_o effect_n of_o ignorance_n yet_o he_o may_v have_v do_v i_o hurt_n enough_o by_o this_o mean_n that_o night_n i_o fall_v into_o such_o a_o trance_n as_o continue_v to_o keep_v i_o near_o four_o day_n without_o the_o use_n almost_o of_o any_o of_o my_o sense_n and_o short_o they_o come_v to_o give_v i_o the_o sacrament_n of_o extreme_a unction_n and_o every_o hour_n or_o rather_o every_o moment_n it_o be_v expect_v when_o i_o shall_v expire_v they_o be_v as_o diligent_a in_o say_v the_o creed_n devil_n in_o my_o hear_n as_o if_o i_o have_v understand_v they_o yea_o sometime_o they_o hold_v i_o for_o so_o certain_o to_o be_v dead_a that_o afterward_o i_o find_v the_o drop_n of_o the_o holy_a candle_n wax-candle_n about_o my_o eye_n the_o affliction_n of_o my_o father_n be_v great_a for_o his_o not_o have_v permit_v i_o to_o go_v to_o confession_n many_o outcry_n and_o many_o prayer_n be_v make_v to_o almighty_a god_n for_o i_o and_o bless_v be_v he_o who_o be_v please_v to_o hear_v they_o for_o the_o grave_n remain_v open_a in_o the_o church_n of_o my_o monastery_n a_o day_n and_o a_o half_a where_o my_o body_n be_v expect_v to_o be_v inter_v and_o my_o funeral_n have_v be_v already_o celebrate_v by_o the_o religious_a man_n of_o our_o order_n in_o another_o town_n where_o it_o be_v conceive_v that_o i_o be_v dead_a our_o lord_n be_v yet_o please_v at_o length_n that_o i_o shall_v teturne_v to_o myself_o and_o so_o instant_o i_o will_v needs_o go_v to_o confession_n i_o receive_v also_o the_o b._n sacrament_n with_o many_o tear_n though_o yet_o in_o my_o opinion_n they_o be_v not_o shed_v with_o that_o sense_n and_o grief_n for_o only_o my_o have_v offend_v almighty_a god_n which_o may_v have_v serve_v to_o save_v my_o soul_n if_o the_o error_n into_o which_o i_o be_v bring_v by_o they_o who_o have_v tell_v i_o that_o they_o be_v not_o matter_n of_o mortal_a sin_n which_o afterward_o i_o see_v plain_o that_o they_o be_v may_v not_o serve_v my_o turn_n for_o the_o torment_n wherewith_o i_o remain_v be_v intolerable_a and_o my_o understanding_n not_o very_o sharp_a but_o rather_o dull_a though_o yet_o as_o i_o conceive_v my_o confession_n be_v entire_a of_o all_o thing_n whereby_o i_o may_v think_v that_o i_o have_v offend_v god_n for_o this_o mercy_n do_v his_o divine_a majesty_n vouchsafe_v to_o allow_v i_o among_o other_o that_o after_o i_o have_v once_o begin_v to_o receive_v the_o b._n sacrament_n i_o never_o omit_v to_o confess_v any_o thing_n which_o i_o conceive_v to_o be_v a_o sin_n though_o it_o be_v but_o venial_a though_o yet_o still_o i_o think_v that_o without_o doubt_n my_o soul_n may_v have_v run_v hazard_n not_o to_o be_v save_v if_o i_o have_v die_v then_o in_o regard_n that_o on_o the_o one_o side_n my_o ghostly_a father_n have_v be_v so_o mean_o learn_v and_o on_o the_o other_o side_n and_o indeed_o on_o many_o side_n in_o regard_n that_o in_o myself_o i_o be_v so_o wicked_a but_o this_o be_v always_o a_o most_o certain_a truth_n that_o when_o i_o return_v to_o a_o thought_n of_o this_o passage_n and_o consider_v how_o it_o seem_v as_o if_o our_o lord_n have_v raise_v i_o again_o from_o death_n to_o life_n i_o be_o fill_v with_o so_o huge_a a_o amazement_n that_o i_o remain_v even_o as_o it_o be_v all_o quake_a within_o myself_o and_o now_o i_o think_v it_o be_v well_o o_o my_o soul_n that_o thou_o will_v gather_v this_o just_a resolution_n from_o that_o great_a danger_n out_o of_o which_o it_o please_v our_o lord_n to_o deliver_v thou_o that_o although_o thou_o will_v not_o fly_v from_o offend_v his_o divine_a majesty_n for_o love_n yet_o at_o least_o thou_o shall_v forbear_v to_o do_v it_o for_o fear_n for_o he_o may_v have_v take_v thy_o life_n from_o thou_o a_o thousand_o time_n when_o thou_o be_v in_o a_o more_o dangerous_a state_n and_o i_o think_v that_o i_o shall_v not_o say_v too_o much_o if_o i_o do_v speak_v of_o a_o thousand_o time_n more_o though_o he_o perhaps_o may_v chide_v i_o who_o command_v i_o to_o use_v moderation_n in_o the_o recital_n of_o my_o sin_n and_o yet_o i_o doubt_v that_o i_o have_v paint_v they_o out_o too_o favourable_o and_o fair_a but_o i_o beg_v of_o he_o for_o the_o love_n of_o our_o lord_n that_o he_o will_v not_o once_o think_v of_o make_v i_o diminish_v my_o fault_n because_o the_o magnificence_n of_o almighty_a god_n be_v to_o be_v discern_v thereby_o and_o how_o much_o he_o be_v please_v to_o suffer_v and_o endure_v from_o a_o soul_n let_v he_o be_v bless_v for_o ever_o and_o let_v it_o also_o please_v his_o divine_a majesty_n that_o he_o may_v rather_o consume_v i_o quite_o then_o that_o i_o shall_v ever_o leave_v to_o love_v he_o more_o the_o six_o chapter_n she_o treat_v of_o how_o much_o she_o owe_v our_o b._n lord_n for_o his_o give_v she_o conformity_n to_o his_o holy_a will_n in_o so_o great_a affliction_n and_o how_o she_o take_v the_o glorious_a s._n joseph_n for_o her_o intercessor_n and_o how_o advantageous_a that_o devotion_n prove_v to_o be_v i_o remain_v during_o those_o four_o day_n of_o agony_n or_o trance_n in_o such_o state_n that_o only_o our_o b._n lord_n be_v able_a to_o know_v the_o unsufferable_a torment_n which_o i_o feel_v in_o myself_o my_o tongue_n be_v deep_o bite_v by_o i_o in_o many_o place_n my_o throat_n with_o have_v take_v nothing_o and_o by_o reason_n also_o of_o my_o very_a great_a weakness_n can_v not_o swallow_v so_o much_o as_o a_o drop_n of_o water_n without_o choke_v i_o thought_n i_o be_v total_o disjoint_v and_o my_o head_n in_o extreme_a disorder_n i_o be_v also_o as_o it_o be_v all_o roll_a up_o and_o contract_v as_o if_o i_o have_v be_v a_o bottom_n of_o packthridd_n for_o in_o this_o do_v the_o torment_n of_o those_o day_n fix_v themselves_o without_o my_o be_v able_a once_o to_o stir_v either_o hand_n or_o foot_n arm_n or_o head_n unless_o they_o move_v i_o any_o more_o then_o as_o if_o i_o have_v be_v dead_a only_o i_o think_v i_o be_v able_a to_o wag_n one_o single_v finger_fw-la of_o my_o right_a hand_n now_o for_o any_o body_n to_o touch_v i_o in_o any_o kind_n there_o be_v no_o mean_n at_o all_o for_o my_o whole_a person_n be_v so_o affect_v and_o afflict_a as_o that_o there_o be_v no_o endure_v to_o have_v it_o touch_v in_o a_o sheet_n they_o will_v be_v remove_v i_o now_o and_o then_o according_a to_o the_o occasion_n with_o one_o at_o one_o end_n thereof_o &_o another_o at_o the_o other_o and_o this_o last_v till_o easter_n only_o this_o i_o have_v by_o way_n of_o ease_n that_o if_o i_o be_v not_o approach_v and_o touch_v these_o torment_n will_v be_v cease_v many_o time_n and_o then_o upon_o the_o account_n of_o my_o be_v in_o less_o pain_n i_o be_v content_a to_o affirm_v myself_o to_o be_v well_o but_o indeed_o i_o be_v much_o afraid_a lest_o my_o patience_n shall_v begin_v to_o fail_v i_o and_o therefore_o i_o be_v not_o a_o little_a please_v to_o find_v myself_o without_o those_o sharp_a and_o continual_a torment_n though_o yet_o i_o have_v they_o after_o a_o unsupportable_a manner_n together_o with_o a_o very_a great_a detestation_n of_o food_n whilst_o i_o have_v those_o fierce_a cold_n which_o indeed_o
be_v extreme_o fierce_a of_o a_o double_a quartane_a which_o i_o be_v also_o then_o grow_v to_o have_v about_o this_o time_n i_o make_v so_o very_o great_a haste_n to_o return_v to_o the_o monastery_n that_o i_o get_v myself_o to_o be_v carry_v away_o as_o i_o be_v and_o they_o receive_v she_o who_o they_o expect_v for_o dead_a with_o a_o soul_n which_o be_v yet_o in_o the_o body_n but_o the_o body_n itself_o worse_o than_o dead_a through_o the_o pain_n they_o see_v it_o endure_v the_o great_a extremity_n of_o my_o weakness_n can_v be_v relate_v for_o i_o have_v nothing_o leave_v but_o my_o skin_n and_o bone_n and_o i_o must_v say_v that_o i_o continue_v thus_o above_o eight_o month_n for_o i_o be_v direct_o a_o cripple_n though_o yet_o i_o be_v then_o on_o the_o mend_a hand_n upon_o the_o very_a point_n of_o three_o year_n when_o now_o i_o begin_v to_o go_v upon_o all_o four_o i_o thank_v god_n as_o for_o a_o good_a degree_n of_o amendment_n but_o i_o pass_v through_o all_o these_o affliction_n with_o great_a comformitie_n to_o the_o holy_a will_n of_o almighty_a god_n yea_o and_o unless_o it_o be_v in_o the_o very_a beginning_n with_o much_o alacrity_n and_o joy_n for_o i_o esteem_v it_o all_o as_o nothing_o be_v compare_v with_o those_o pain_n and_o torment_n wherein_o i_o have_v be_v before_o and_o i_o be_v whole_o resign_v then_o to_o god_n holy_a will_n although_o he_o shall_v have_v leave_v i_o in_o that_o state_n for_o ever_o i_o be_o of_o opinion_n that_o all_o the_o anxiety_n of_o my_o desire_n to_o recover_v be_v only_o that_o i_o may_v apply_v myself_o to_o prayer_n all_o alone_a as_o i_o have_v be_v instruct_v but_o for_o this_o there_o be_v no_o mean_n in_o the_o infirmarie_n i_o confess_v my_o sin_n very_o often_o i_o speak_v with_o they_o much_o of_o god_n in_o such_o sort_n as_o that_o it_o edifyed_a they_o all_o and_o indeed_o they_o be_v amaze_v to_o see_v the_o patience_n which_o our_o lord_n impart_v to_o i_o for_o if_o it_o have_v not_o come_v from_o the_o hand_n of_o his_o divine_a majesty_n it_o seem_v a_o kind_n of_o impossible_a thing_n to_o endure_v such_o a_o deal_n of_o torment_n with_o so_o much_o contentment_n a_o point_n of_o great_a moment_n that_o favour_n be_v which_o our_o b._n lord_n have_v vouchsafe_v to_o do_v i_o by_o give_v i_o prayer_n for_o this_o make_v i_o come_v to_o know_v what_o it_o be_v to_o love_v he_o and_o from_o that_o little_a time_n which_o i_o spend_v therein_o i_o find_v these_o virtue_n to_o be_v grow_v up_o fresh_a in_o i_o though_o yet_o they_o be_v not_o strong_a nor_o able_a to_o hold_v i_o upright_o in_o strict_a account_n i_o speak_v not_o ill_o of_o any_o creature_n how_o little_a soever_o it_o may_v be_v but_o my_o ordinary_a custom_n be_v to_o avoid_v all_o manner_n of_o detraction_n for_o i_o always_o have_v this_o thought_n present_a with_o i_o that_o i_o be_v never_o to_o wish_v nor_o to_o say_v any_o such_o thing_n of_o any_o creature_n as_o i_o will_v not_o have_v they_o say_v of_o i_o and_o i_o take_v this_o so_o extreme_o to_o hart_n in_o all_o such_o occasion_n as_o may_v occur_v though_o yet_o not_o still_o so_o very_o perfect_o when_o sometime_o any_o great_a occasion_n be_v offer_v i_o to_o break_v my_o rule_n that_o this_o be_v my_o constant_a use_n and_o i_o persuade_v such_o as_o be_v wont_a to_o be_v much_o in_o my_o company_n and_o conversation_n so_o earnest_o to_o this_o practice_n that_o it_o grow_v also_o up_o with_o they_o into_o custom_n by_o this_o mean_n it_o come_v to_o be_v common_o understand_v that_o wheresoever_o i_o chance_v to_o be_v all_o absent_a person_n be_v safe_a and_o so_o be_v they_o also_o much_o more_o conceived_a to_o be_v when_o any_o of_o my_o near_a friend_n or_o kindred_n or_o other_o who_o i_o have_v instruct_v be_v concern_v though_o in_o other_o thing_n i_o have_v a_o great_a account_n to_o make_v to_o almighty_a god_n for_o the_o ill_a example_n which_o i_o give_v they_o i_o beseech_v his_o divine_a majesty_n to_o forgive_v those_o many_o ill_a thing_n whereof_o i_o have_v be_v cause_n howsoever_o i_o be_v not_o so_o with_o so_o wicked_a intention_n as_o the_o action_n succeed_v ill_o afterward_o i_o still_o remain_v with_o great_a like_n to_o enjoy_v solitude_n and_o i_o also_o love_v in_o particular_a manner_n to_o discourse_v and_o treat_v of_o thing_n concern_v almighty_a god_n and_o if_o still_o i_o can_v find_v with_o who_o that_o give_v i_o more_o contentment_n and_o even_o recreation_n than_o all_o the_o politenes_n or_o rather_o i_o think_v i_o may_v say_v grossness_n of_o the_o conversation_n of_o the_o world_n can_v do_v and_o i_o love_v to_o confess_v and_o communicate_v often_o than_o i_o have_v do_v and_o to_o desire_v it_o much_o and_o to_o be_v extreme_o affect_v with_o read_v good_a book_n and_o to_o have_v so_o extraordinary_a a_o sorrow_n for_o have_v offend_v almighty_a god_n that_o many_o time_n i_o remember_v how_o i_o dare_v not_o adventure_v to_o put_v myself_o into_o prayer_n because_o i_o fear_v that_o excessive_a pain_n which_o i_o be_v sure_a i_o shall_v feel_v in_o the_o quality_n of_o a_o great_a punishment_n for_o my_o offence_n and_o this_o grow_v afterward_o to_o such_o a_o extremity_n that_o i_o know_v not_o to_o what_o in_o fine_a i_o may_v well_o compare_v this_o torment_n but_o now_o this_o never_o happen_v to_o i_o either_o more_o or_o less_o for_o any_o fear_n at_o all_o but_o only_o when_o i_o remember_v those_o regalo_n which_o our_o lord_n have_v be_v please_v to_o vouchsafe_v i_o in_o my_o prayer_n and_o the_o very_a much_o that_o i_o owe_v his_o divine_a majesty_n for_o those_o high_a favour_n and_o when_o i_o see_v how_o ill_o i_o pay_v he_o for_o all_o his_o goodness_n i_o be_v no_o long_o able_a to_o endure_v it_o yea_o and_o i_o find_v myself_o also_o extreme_o offend_v with_o myself_o even_o for_o the_o many_o tear_n which_o i_o shed_v for_o the_o fault_n when_o i_o see_v the_o so_o little_a amendment_n which_o i_o make_v whilst_o neither_o my_o resolution_n nor_o the_o pain_n and_o care_n wherein_o i_o be_v not_o to_o fall_v back_o again_o when_o once_o the_o occasion_n shall_v be_v offer_v be_v sufficient_a to_o stay_v i_o for_o then_o even_o my_o very_a teat_n will_v seem_v deceitful_a to_o my_o very_a self_n and_o my_o fault_n will_v also_o appear_v so_o much_o the_o fowler_n because_o i_o see_v the_o great_a favour_n which_o our_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o do_v i_o by_o impart_v those_o tear_n to_o my_o eye_n and_o so_o great_a repentance_n to_o my_o hart_n i_o procure_v also_o to_o confess_v myself_o often_o and_o so_o in_o my_o opinion_n i_o do_v what_o i_o can_v on_o my_o part_n to_o restore_v myself_o to_o the_o state_n of_o grace_n but_o all_o my_o misery_n indeed_o consist_v in_o that_o i_o pluck_v not_o the_o occasion_n of_o sin_n up_o by_o the_o root_n and_o partly_o also_o in_o those_o ghostly_a father_n who_o assist_v i_o little_a for_o if_o they_o have_v once_o direct_o declare_v to_o i_o the_o danger_n wherein_o i_o be_v from_o time_n to_o time_n and_o that_o i_o be_v in_o obligation_n not_o to_o have_v pass_v my_o hour_n in_o such_o conversation_n i_o be_o very_o confident_o persuade_v that_o all_z will_v have_v be_v quick_o redress_v for_o i_o shall_v never_o have_v endure_v to_o pass_v one_o day_n in_o mortal_a sin_n if_o i_o have_v understand_v the_o case_n all_o these_o sign_n and_o hope_n of_o my_o endeavour_v to_o fear_v and_o serve_v almighty_a god_n be_v come_v to_o i_o by_o mean_n of_o prayer_n and_o the_o great_a of_o they_o all_o be_v that_o i_o walk_v as_o it_o be_v all_o wrap_v up_o in_o love_n for_o as_o for_o the_o punishment_n of_o sin_n it_o never_o once_o appear_v before_o i_o all_o the_o while_n that_o i_o be_v so_o sick_a i_o continue_v to_o keep_v a_o very_a close_a guard_n upon_o my_o conscience_n for_o as_o much_o as_o may_v concern_v mortal_a sinne._n but_o o_o my_o dear_a lord_n how_o vehement_o do_v i_o desire_v to_o be_v restore_v to_o my_o health_n that_o i_o may_v procure_v to_o serve_v thou_o so_o much_o the_o better_o whereas_o yet_o in_o very_a deed_n it_o be_v the_o occasion_n of_o all_o my_o misery_n but_o now_o when_o i_o find_v myself_o so_o lame_a and_o even_o such_o a_o cripple_n and_o that_o whilst_o i_o be_v yet_o so_o very_o young_a and_o how_o the_o physician_n of_o this_o world_n have_v dress_v i_o and_o to_o what_o state_n they_o have_v bring_v i_o i_o resolve_v that_o i_o will_v apply_v myself_o to_o those_o of_o the_o other_o to_o the_o end_n that_o they_o may_v cure_v i_o for_o
which_o they_o who_o be_v good_a may_v well_o enjoy_v without_o any_o disadvantage_n to_o their_o goodness_n because_o they_o owe_v no_o more_o since_o they_o do_v not_o promise_n clausure_n but_o as_o for_o i_o who_o be_o wicked_v it_o will_v certain_o have_v carry_v i_o down_o to_o hell_n unless_o our_o lord_n have_v draw_v i_o out_o of_o this_o danger_n by_o very_a many_o remedy_n and_o mean_n and_o most_o particular_a favour_n and_o so_o i_o think_v a_o monastery_n of_o woman_n with_o liberty_n expose_v they_o to_o very_o great_a hazard_n and_o rather_o appear_v in_o my_o eye_n as_o a_o way_n whereby_o they_o who_o have_v a_o mind_n to_o be_v wicked_a may_v walk_v on_o towards_o hell_n then_o as_o a_o remedy_n for_o their_o weakness_n i_o mean_v not_o this_o by_o my_o monastery_n for_o therein_o be_v so_o many_o who_o serve_v our_o lord_n so_o much_o in_o earnest_n and_o with_o so_o great_a perfection_n that_o his_o divine_a majesty_n through_o his_o goodness_n can_v fail_v of_o do_v they_o favour_n neither_o be_v this_o monastery_n also_o of_o the_o most_o open_a and_o dis-enclosed_n and_o beside_o all_o good_a religious_a order_n be_v observe_v in_o it_o but_o i_o speak_v what_o i_o be_v speak_v of_o other_o which_o i_o know_v and_o have_v see_v i_o say_v therefore_o that_o those_o other_o give_v i_o cause_n to_o have_v great_a compassion_n of_o they_o for_o they_o have_v need_n of_o particular_a motion_n and_o call_v from_o our_o lord_n and_o not_o once_o but_o very_o often_o that_o so_o they_o may_v be_v save_v consider_v how_o much_o the_o honour_n and_o recreation_n of_o the_o world_n be_v now_o grow_v to_o be_v authorize_v and_o how_o little_a such_o as_o they_o be_v understand_v the_o very_a much_o to_o which_o they_o be_v oblige_v so_o that_o i_o beseech_v god_n they_o hold_v not_o that_o sometime_o for_o virtue_n which_o be_v sin_n as_o myself_o do_v often_o yea_o and_o there_o be_v so_o great_a difficulty_n in_o make_v this_o be_v well_o understand_v that_o there_o be_v need_n of_o no_o less_o then_o that_o our_o bless_a lord_n himself_o shall_v serious_o put_v his_o hand_n to_o the_o work_n if_o father_n will_v take_v my_o counsel_n since_o they_o will_v not_o procure_v to_o put_v their_o daughter_n where_o they_o may_v walk_v in_o the_o way_n of_o salvation_n but_o rather_o be_v in_o more_o danger_n than_o they_o shall_v perhaps_o have_v meet_v with_o in_o the_o world_n i_o will_v advise_v they_o at_o least_o to_o consider_v their_o own_o honour_n and_o rather_o to_o marry_v they_o very_o mean_o then_o to_o put_v they_o into_o such_o monastery_n as_o those_o unless_o they_o be_v very_o virtuous_o incline_v yea_o and_o i_o pray_v god_n that_o even_o this_o may_v serve_v the_o turn_n yea_o or_o else_o let_v they_o rather_o continue_v they_o in_o their_o own_o house_n for_o if_o they_o will_v needs_o be_v wicked_a it_o can_v be_v there_o keep_v private_a but_o for_o a_o very_a short_a time_n but_o here_o it_o may_v be_v long_o conceal_v though_o yet_o in_o the_o end_n our_o lord_n be_v ever_o wont_a to_o discover_v it_o and_o then_o they_o do_v not_o only_o hurt_v themselves_o but_o also_o the_o rest_n and_o sometime_o those_o poor_a creature_n have_v the_o less_o fault_n because_o they_o do_v but_o that_o which_o they_o find_v in_o use_n but_o still_o it_o be_v matter_n of_o much_o compassion_n to_o see_v many_o who_o have_v real_o a_o mind_n to_o forsake_v all_o and_o conceive_v that_o they_o go_v to_o serve_v our_o lord_n and_o to_o fly_v from_o the_o danger_n of_o this_o world_n do_v yet_o by_o this_o mean_n grow_v to_o embark_v themselves_o in_o ten_o world_n all_o together_o where_o they_o know_v not_o what_o to_o do_v or_o how_o to_o help_v themselves_o for_o youth_n and_o sensuality_n and_o in_o fine_a the_o devil_n both_o invite_v they_o and_o incline_v they_o to_o follow_v something_n which_o do_v altogether_o belong_v to_o a_o world_n and_o so_o in_o effect_n they_o come_v to_o hold_v they_o good_a i_o think_v in_o this_o they_o be_v like_o those_o miserable_a and_o wretched_a man_n the_o heretic_n who_o first_o make_v themselves_o blind_a and_o then_o give_v themselves_o to_o understand_v that_o those_o opinion_n which_o they_o follow_v be_v good_a and_o so_o they_o come_v to_o believe_v they_o to_o be_v true_a though_o yet_o indeed_o and_o upon_o the_o matter_n they_o believe_v they_o not_o for_o in_o their_o heart_n there_o be_v somewhat_o which_o tell_v they_o still_o that_o it_o be_v naught_o o_o great_a misery_n i_o say_v o_o extreme_a great_a misery_n of_o religious_a person_n and_o i_o speak_v not_o here_o of_o woman_n now_o more_o than_o of_o man_n where_o religious_a observance_n be_v not_o keep_v and_o where_o in_o one_o and_o the_o self_n same_o monastery_n two_o way_n be_v hold_v one_o of_o virtue_n and_o religious_a life_n and_o another_o which_o be_v utter_o in_o want_n thereof_o and_o where_o they_o all_o go_v as_o it_o be_v equal_o hand_n in_o hand_n or_o rather_o i_o say_v ill_o when_o i_o say_v equal_o for_o it_o use_v to_o happen_v so_o for_o our_o sin_n that_o the_o more_o imperfect_a make_v up_o the_o great_a number_n and_o so_o as_o they_o use_v to_o be_v more_o they_o use_v to_o be_v also_o more_o favour_v and_o true_a religious_a observance_n be_v wont_a to_o be_v so_o rare_a in_o those_o place_n that_o as_o well_o that_o religious_a man_n as_o that_o religious_a woman_n who_o shall_v have_v a_o mind_n to_o give_v themselves_o whole_o and_o in_o good_a earnest_n to_o follow_v their_o vocation_n and_o rule_n will_v have_v cause_n to_o be_v in_o more_o fear_n of_o the_o rest_n of_o the_o religious_a of_o their_o own_o house_n then_o of_o all_o the_o devil_n in_o hell_n yea_o and_o they_o will_v need_v to_o use_v more_o caution_n and_o dissimulation_n in_o speak_v of_o that_o intercourse_n and_o friendship_n which_o such_o person_n shall_v procure_v to_o hold_v with_o almighty_a god_n then_o of_o other_o inclination_n and_o friendship_n which_o the_o devil_n find_v mean_n sometime_o to_o bring_v into_o monastery_n i_o can_v therefore_o meet_v with_o no_o reason_n why_o we_o shall_v be_v amaze_v to_o see_v so_o many_o misery_n in_o the_o church_n since_o they_o who_o ought_v to_o be_v pattern_n for_o other_o that_o so_o all_o man_n may_v grow_v to_o be_v virtuous_a by_o their_o example_n have_v total_o blot_v out_o that_o work_v which_o the_o spirit_n of_o the_o saint_n in_o old_a time_n leave_v register_v in_o our_o religious_a order_n and_o i_o humble_o beseech_v his_o divine_a majesty_n that_o he_o will_v be_v please_v to_o give_v such_o remedy_n to_o these_o mischief_n as_o he_o know_v best_o to_o be_v needful_a amen_n but_o in_o the_o mean_a time_n when_o i_o begin_v to_o use_v such_o conversation_n as_o these_o i_o little_o think_v that_o so_o great_a distraction_n and_o other_o damage_n will_v grow_v to_o my_o soul_n by_o that_o kind_n of_o proceed_v when_o i_o see_v they_o be_v so_o much_o use_v by_o other_o and_o i_o conceive_v that_o so_o general_a a_o thing_n as_o it_o be_v for_o secular_a people_n to_o make_v visit_n to_o the_o religious_a in_o many_o monastery_n will_v be_v of_o no_o great_a prejudice_n to_o i_o than_o it_o be_v to_o other_o who_o i_o see_v to_o be_v virtuous_a and_o good_a but_o i_o consider_v not_o the_o while_n that_o those_o other_o be_v much_o more_o virtuous_a than_o myself_o and_o that_o those_o thing_n which_o be_v of_o much_o danger_n to_o i_o be_v not_o perhaps_o of_o so_o very_a much_o to_o they_o though_o yet_o i_o fear_v it_o be_v of_o some_o and_o at_o the_o best_a hand_n i_o be_o sure_a enough_o that_o it_o be_v no_o better_o than_o time_n very_o ill_o employ_v and_o spend_v and_o be_v once_o with_o a_o certain_a person_n our_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o give_v i_o to_o understand_v in_o the_o very_a beginning_n of_o my_o acquaintance_n with_o she_o that_o such_o friendship_n will_v be_v no_o way_n convenient_a for_o i_o and_o to_o give_v i_o also_o advise_v and_o light_n in_o so_o great_a a_o darkness_n as_o that_o be_v for_o christ_n our_o lord_n represent_v himself_o before_o i_o with_o much_o rigour_n and_o give_v i_o well_o to_o understand_v how_o great_o he_o be_v disgu_v at_o my_o proceed_n i_o see_v he_o only_o with_o the_o eye_n of_o my_o soul_n but_o yet_o much_o more_o distinct_o and_o more_o clear_o than_o i_o can_v possible_o have_v do_v with_o the_o eye_n of_o my_o body_n and_o he_o remain_v so_o deep_o imprint_v there_o that_o although_o it_o happen_v to_o i_o above_o six_o and_o twenty_o year_n ago_o i_o think_v he_o be_v still_o as_o present_v to_o i_o now_o as_o he_o be_v then_o but_o i_o be_o sure_a
so_o hard_o that_o his_o affliction_n be_v very_o great_a i_o tell_v he_o once_o upon_o this_o occasion_n that_o since_o he_o have_v be_v so_o devote_a to_o that_o mystery_n when_o our_o lord_n carry_v his_o cross_n upon_o his_o back_n he_o may_v do_v well_o to_o conceive_v that_o his_o divine_a majesty_n have_v be_v please_v to_o give_v he_o a_o feeling_n of_o some_o part_n of_o that_o which_o himself_o have_v undergo_v with_o so_o much_o trouble_v and_o my_o father_n be_v so_o comfort_v by_o this_o thought_n that_o i_o remember_v he_o not_o to_o have_v ever_o complain_v more_o he_o remain_v three_o day_n with_o very_o little_a show_n of_o understanding_n but_o yet_o the_o day_n whereon_o he_o die_v our_o lord_n restore_v it_o to_o he_o &_o that_o so_o entire_o as_o we_o be_v all_o even_o amaze_v to_o see_v it_o and_o he_o continue_v in_o it_o say_v the_o creed_n and_o as_o soon_o as_o he_o have_v pass_v through_o the_o first_o part_n thereof_o he_o expire_v when_o he_o be_v dead_a he_o look_v even_o like_o a_o angel_n and_o as_o such_o in_o manner_n of_o speech_n he_o ever_o seem_v in_o my_o sight_n to_o be_v both_o in_o soul_n and_o disposition_n or_o humour_n which_o he_o have_v extreme_o good_a nor_o do_v i_o know_v why_o i_o have_v speak_v thus_o much_o of_o he_o unless_o it_o be_v to_o confess_v and_o accuse_v my_o own_o wickedness_n so_o much_o the_o more_o since_o upon_o the_o sight_n of_o such_o a_o death_n and_o the_o knowledge_n of_o such_o a_o life_n i_o ought_v to_o have_v amend_v and_o reform_v i_o if_o it_o have_v be_v but_o to_o grow_v the_o like_a to_o such_o a_o father_n his_o confessarius_fw-la who_o be_v a_o dominican_n and_o a_o great_a learned_a man_n affirm_v that_o he_o make_v no_o doubt_n but_o that_o my_o father_n will_v go_v straight_o to_o heaven_n for_o he_o who_o have_v confess_v he_o diverse_a year_n speak_v much_o of_o the_o great_a purity_n of_o his_o conscience_n this_o dominican_n father_n be_v a_o very_a worthy_a man_n and_o a_o true_a servant_n of_o god_n do_v i_o a_o great_a deal_n of_o good_a for_o i_o confess_v myself_o to_o he_o and_o he_o undertake_v the_o profit_n of_o my_o soul_n with_o care_n and_o to_o make_v i_o well_o understand_v the_o way_n of_o perdition_n wherein_o i_o be_v walk_v he_o cause_v i_o also_o to_o communicate_v every_o fifteen_o day_n and_o begin_v first_o to_o treat_v with_o he_o by_o little_a and_o little_a i_o speak_v with_o he_o afterward_o at_o length_n about_o my_o prayer_n and_o he_o tell_v i_o that_o i_o must_v not_o fail_v to_o use_v it_o and_o that_o it_o can_v not_o by_o any_o mean_n but_o do_v i_o good_a i_o begin_v therefore_o to_o use_v it_o again_o and_o from_o that_o time_n forward_o i_o never_o leave_v it_o though_o yet_o i_o do_v not_o for_o the_o present_a give-ove_a the_o occasion_n of_o my_o imperfection_n i_o therefore_o in_o the_o mean_a time_n pass_v a_o most_o sad_a life_n for_o in_o prayer_n i_o come_v to_o understand_v my_o fault_n on_o the_o one_o side_n i_o be_v call_v by_o almighty_a god_n and_o on_o the_o other_o i_o follow_v the_o world_n all_o those_o thing_n which_o belong_v to_o god_n give_v i_o great_a contentment_n but_o those_o thing_n which_o be_v of_o the_o world_n tie_v i_o up_o in_o chain_n and_o it_o seem_v i_o have_v a_o mind_n to_o make_v these_o two_o contraries_n friend_n which_o yet_o be_v so_o much_o in_o enmity_n with_o one_o another_o namely_o a_o spiritual_a life_n on_o the_o one_o side_n and_o sensual_a pastime_n contentment_n and_o delight_n on_o the_o other_o in_o my_o prayer_n i_o endure_v much_o trouble_n because_o now_o my_o spirit_n be_v grow_v to_o be_v no_o long_o a_o lord_n but_o a_o slave_n and_o therefore_o i_o be_v not_o able_a to_o shut_v myself_o up_o in_o my_o hart_n which_o be_v the_o only_o way_n of_o proceed_v i_o former_o have_v hold_v in_o my_o use_n of_o prayer_n without_o shut_v up_o a_o thousand_o vanity_n together_o with_o myself_o i_o pass_v so_o many_o year_n in_o this_o manner_n that_o now_o i_o be_o astonish_v to_o consider_v that_o any_o person_n shall_v be_v able_a to_o endure_v the_o not_o leave_v either_o the_o one_o or_o the_o other_o in_o so_o long_a a_o time_n i_o well_o know_v that_o now_o it_o be_v no_o long_o in_o my_o hand_n to_o give_v over_o mental_a prayer_n for_o he_o hold_v i_o now_o in_o his_o who_o resolve_v to_o do_v i_o great_a favour_n o_o that_o i_o can_v declare_v the_o occasion_n of_o do_v ill_a which_o god_n remove_v from_o i_o in_o those_o year_n and_o how_o i_o put_v myself_o again_o into_o they_o and_o of_o the_o danger_n wherein_o i_o be_v to_o loose_v all_o the_o opinion_n and_o reputation_n which_o i_o have_v in_o the_o world_n from_o which_o he_o free_v i_o and_o of_o the_o haste_n which_o i_o make_v to_o discover_v by_o my_o action_n what_o kind_n of_o creature_n i_o be_v and_o the_o haste_n which_o our_o lord_n make_v also_o to_o cover_v these_o fault_n and_o to_o discover_v some_o little_a virtue_n of_o i_o if_o there_o be_v any_o and_o to_o make_v the_o same_o seem_v great_a in_o the_o eye_n of_o all_o man_n in_o such_o sort_n as_o that_o they_o ever_o hold_v i_o in_o much_o account_n for_o though_o sometime_o my_o vanity_n will_v shine_v through_o my_o action_n yet_o they_o see_v other_o thing_n in_o i_o which_o appear_v good_a will_v not_o believe_v the_o ill_a but_o the_o true_a cause_n hereof_o be_v that_o the_o knower_n of_o all_o thing_n see_v that_o this_o be_v fit_a to_o be_v so_o ordain_v to_o the_o end_n that_o when_o afterward_o i_o shall_v come_v to_o persuade_v the_o world_n to_o do_v he_o service_n they_o may_v give_v i_o some_o little_a credit_n therein_o and_o that_o sovereign_a bounty_n of_o god_n do_v not_o so_o much_o consider_v my_o great_a sin_n as_o it_o do_v those_o desire_n which_o i_o have_v sometime_o to_o serve_v he_o and_o the_o great_a trouble_n i_o feel_v in_o myself_o for_o want_v power_n and_o strength_n to_o put_v the_o same_o in_o execution_n but_o o_o thou_o lord_n of_o my_o soul_n and_o how_o shall_v i_o ever_o be_v able_a to_o express_v with_o fullness_n and_o clearness_n enough_o the_o favour_n which_o thou_o show_v i_o in_o those_o year_n and_o how_o in_o that_o very_a time_n when_o i_o be_v offend_v thou_o most_o thou_o make_v such_o haste_n to_o dispose_v my_o soul_n to_o a_o most_o profound_a remorse_n and_o sorrow_n that_o so_o i_o may_v come_v to_o taste_v of_o thy_o regalo_n and_o great_a favour_n again_o the_o truth_n be_v o_o my_o king_n that_o thou_o do_v use_v the_o most_o curious_a and_o choice_a kind_n of_o sharp_a punishment_n which_o can_v possible_o to_o my_o think_n be_v find_v for_o i_o as_o one_o who_o do_v well_o understand_v what_o be_v likely_a to_o cost_v i_o the_o dear_a of_o all_o other_o thing_n for_o thou_o do_v punish_v those_o sin_n of_o i_o with_o great_a regalo_n and_o i_o think_v it_o be_v no_o impertinency_n which_o i_o utter_v though_o yet_o it_o be_v a_o kind_n of_o reason_n that_o i_o shall_v now_o even_o as_o it_o be_v lose_v my_o wit_n whilst_o i_o renew_v the_o memory_n of_o my_o ingratitude_n and_o malice_n towards_o thou_o but_o real_o it_o be_v so_o much_o a_o more_o painful_a and_o insupportable_a kind_n of_o thing_n for_o i_o to_o receive_v such_o favour_n upon_o the_o very_a neck_n of_o my_o have_v fall_v into_o so_o great_a offence_n than_o it_o will_v have_v be_v to_o endure_v grievous_a punishment_n that_o some_o one_o of_o those_o say_a favour_n so_o receive_v seem_v clear_o and_o very_o certain_o to_o have_v even_o overwrought_a and_o defeat_v and_o confound_v i_o more_o than_o all_o my_o infirmity_n and_o torment_n and_o other_o affliction_n put_v together_o be_v ever_o able_a to_o do_v for_o as_o for_o these_o latter_a affliction_n i_o find_v that_o i_o deserve_v they_o well_o and_o i_o think_v they_o may_v go_v in_o part_n by_o way_n of_o satisfaction_n for_o my_o sin_n though_o yet_o even_o in_o that_o kind_n of_o account_n i_o know_v that_o my_o sufferance_n be_v few_o for_o my_o offence_n which_o be_v so_o many_o and_o so_o very_o great_a but_o now_o to_o see_v myself_o receive_v so_o fresh_o so_o high_a favour_n while_o yet_o the_o while_n i_o make_v so_o ill_a retribution_n for_o those_o which_o i_o have_v receive_v before_o be_v in_o my_o account_n a_o kind_n of_o most_o terrible_a torment_n and_o i_o think_v it_o will_v be_v esteem_v so_o by_o all_o such_o as_o have_v any_o knowledge_n or_o love_n of_o god_n and_o we_o may_v easy_o find_v this_o to_o be_v true_a even_o by_o the_o natural_a condition_n of_o person_n
our_o lord_n himself_o bear_v their_o charge_n since_o for_o the_o little_a pain_n they_o take_v he_o give_v they_o so_o much_o gust_n that_o so_o they_o may_v the_o better_o be_v able_a to_o endure_v the_o take_n of_o that_o pain_n in_o his_o company_n of_o these_o gust_n which_o our_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o give_v to_o such_o as_o persevere_v in_o the_o exercise_n of_o mental_a prayer_n there_o shall_v be_v more_o discourse_n hereafter_o and_o i_o will_v not_o make_v it_o here_o only_o this_o i_o will_v be_v bold_a to_o say_v that_o of_o all_o those_o so_o great_a favour_n which_o it_o ever_o please_v our_o lord_n to_o do_v i_o the_o very_a gate_n be_v prayer_n and_o if_o that_o come_v once_o to_o be_v shut_v i_o know_v not_o how_o god_n shall_v do_v we_o favour_n for_o though_o he_o shall_v have_v a_o mind_n to_o enter_v into_o a_o soul_n to_o regale_n both_o it_o and_o himself_o in_o it_o there_o be_v no_o mean_n by_o which_o to_o do_v it_o since_o he_o must_v have_v it_o all_o to_o himself_o and_o it_o must_v be_v clean_o and_o pure_a and_o it_o must_v also_o have_v a_o great_a desire_n to_o receive_v favour_n and_o if_o ourselves_o on_o the_o other_o side_n bring_v many_o impediment_n and_o take_v no_o course_n to_o remove_v they_o how_o shall_v we_o ever_o think_v he_o can_v come_v to_o we_o and_o how_o can_v we_o conceive_v that_o he_o will_v help_v we_o now_o to_o the_o end_n that_o his_o mercy_n may_v be_v see_v and_o the_o great_a benefit_n which_o it_o be_v for_o i_o not_o to_o have_v give_v over_o my_o pray_v and_o read_v i_o will_v here_o declare_v since_o the_o understanding_n of_o it_o import_v so_o much_o what_o battery_n the_o devil_n raise_v against_o a_o soul_n to_o gain_v it_o and_o what_o diligence_n and_o as_o it_o be_v art_n and_o mercy_n be_v use_v by_o b._n lord_n for_o procure_v to_o reduce_v it_o to_o himself_o that_o so_o other_o may_v preserve_v themselves_o from_o those_o danger_n from_o which_o i_o keep_v not_o myself_o and_o above_o all_o thing_n i_o humble_o desire_v man_n for_o that_o great_a love_n wherewith_o our_o lord_n go_v endeavour_v to_o win_v we_o back_o again_o to_o himself_o that_o they_o will_v keep_v themselves_o careful_o out_o of_o the_o this_o occasion_n of_o sin_n for_o when_o once_o we_o be_v engage_v therein_o there_o be_v no_o trust_n or_o confidence_n to_o be_v have_v where_o we_o be_v encounter_v and_o assault_v by_o so_o many_o enemy_n whilst_o we_o the_o while_n be_v subject_a to_o such_o weakness_n which_o disable_v we_o to_o make_v any_o defence_n i_o will_v fain_o be_v able_a here_o to_o make_v a_o draught_n and_o description_n of_o that_o captivity_n wherein_o my_o soul_n be_v at_o those_o time_n for_o i_o well_o understand_v myself_o to_o be_v in_o captivity_n and_o yet_o i_o can_v not_o tell_v very_o well_o to_o what_o i_o whas_fw-ge a_o slave_n nor_o can_v i_o entire_o believe_v that_o that_o which_o my_o confessor_n think_v fit_a to_o aggravate_v no_o more_o be_v so_o very_o ill_o as_o yet_o i_o be_v apt_a to_o find_v it_o a_o certain_a person_n tell_v i_o when_o i_o go_v to_o he_o once_o with_o a_o scruple_n that_o error_n although_o i_o be_v in_o state_n of_o use_v high_a contemplation_n yet_o such_o occasion_n and_o conversation_n be_v of_o no_o inconvenience_n to_o i_o this_o happen_v to_o i_o towards_o the_o latter_a end_n when_o i_o by_o the_o favour_n of_o god_n go_v separate_v myself_o more_o and_o more_o from_o great_a danger_n but_o yet_o i_o do_v not_o whole_o avoid_v occasion_n but_o now_o when_o they_o observe_v my_o good_a desire_n and_o my_o exercise_n of_o mental_a prayer_n they_o think_v i_o do_v great_a matter_n but_o as_o for_o i_o my_o soul_n understand_v well_o enough_o that_o it_o be_v not_o so_o much_o as_o to_o perform_v what_o i_o be_v oblige_v for_o one_o to_o who_o i_o owe_v so_o much_o i_o have_v now_o both_o pity_n and_o grief_n to_o consider_v how_o much_o my_o soul_n suffer_v at_o that_o time_n and_o the_o little_a help_n it_o get_v from_o any_o but_o almighty_a god_n beside_o the_o great_a facility_n and_o owerture_n which_o they_o make_v for_o i_o towards_o certain_a pastime_n and_o contentment_n by_o make_v i_o believe_v that_o they_o be_v lawful_a but_o now_o the_o torment_n also_o which_o i_o have_v by_o hear_v sermon_n be_v not_o little_a for_o i_o have_v a_o great_a affection_n to_o hear_v they_o in_o such_o sort_n that_o if_o i_o see_v any_o man_n preach_v with_o spirit_n &_o very_o well_o i_o carry_v a_o most_o particular_a affection_n to_o he_o and_o that_o without_o any_o endeavour_n of_o i_o nor_o do_v i_o know_v how_o i_o come_v to_o have_v it_o i_o thought_n no_o sermon_n seem_v so_o ill_o to_o i_o which_o i_o can_v not_o glad_o hear_v though_o other_o will_v be_v of_o opinion_n that_o he_o preach_v not_o well_o but_o then_o if_o the_o sermon_n be_v good_a it_o give_v i_o a_o very_a particular_a satisfaction_n to_o speak_v of_o god_n or_o hear_v he_o speak_v of_o do_v in_o effect_n never_o weary_v i_o i_o mean_v after_o i_o have_v once_o begin_v to_o use_v mental_a prayer_n yet_o on_o the_o one_o side_n i_o be_v much_o comfort_v with_o hear_v sermon_n but_o on_o the_o other_o side_n they_o torment_v i_o because_o i_o understand_v thereby_o that_o i_o be_v not_o by_o many_o degree_n any_o such_o creature_n as_o i_o ought_v to_o have_v be_v i_o humble_o beg_v of_o our_o b._n lord_n that_o he_o will_v help_v i_o but_o i_o believe_v by_o what_o i_o can_v now_o conjecture_v that_o i_o be_v want_v in_o the_o point_n of_o place_v all_o my_o confidence_n in_o his_o divine_a majesty_n and_o importance_n total_o disconfide_v in_o myself_o i_o seek_v for_o remedy_n and_o i_o use_v many_o diligence_n but_o i_o understand_v not_o that_o all_o be_v good_a for_o nothing_o unless_o first_o we_o strip_v ourselves_o entire_o of_o all_o confidence_n in_o ourselves_o and_o lodge_v it_o all_o upon_o almighty_a god_n i_o desire_v to_o live_v a_o true_a life_n for_o than_o i_o understand_v well_o enough_o that_o indeed_o i_o do_v not_o live_v but_o that_o i_o fight_v with_o the_o very_a shadow_n of_o death_n but_o there_o be_v no_o body_n who_o will_v give_v i_o life_n and_o as_o for_o i_o i_o be_v not_o able_a to_o take_v it_o and_o he_o who_o be_v only_o able_a to_o give_v it_o have_v no_o reason_n to_o bring_v i_o succour_v since_o he_o have_v draw_v i_o to_o himself_o so_o very_o often_o i_o have_v yet_o forsake_v he_o the_o nine_o chapter_n she_o declare_v by_o what_o mean_v our_o lord_n begin_v to_o awake_a her_o soul_n and_o give_v her_o light_n in_o so_o great_a darkness_n and_o to_o strengthen_v also_o her_o virtue_n that_o so_o she_o may_v offend_v he_o no_o more_o but_o now_o my_o soul_n be_v already_o grow_v to_o be_v very_o weary_a and_o yet_o the_o ill_a habit_n which_o i_o have_v make_v &_o the_o ill_a custom_n which_o i_o have_v use_v will_v not_o permit_v she_o to_o be_v unwearied_a and_o take_v rest_n it_o happen_v to_o i_o one_o day_n upon_o my_o go_v into_o the_o oratory_n that_o i_o see_v a_o picture_n which_o have_v be_v bring_v in_o thither_o to_o be_v keep_v for_o they_o have_v borrow_v it_o to_o serve_v for_o a_o certain_a festivitie_n which_o be_v to_o be_v celebrate_v in_o the_o house_n about_o that_o time_n the_o picture_n be_v of_o christ_n our_o lord_n full_a of_o wound_n &_o sore_n and_o it_o be_v so_o devout_o make_v that_o when_o i_o look_v upon_o it_o it_o move_v i_o much_o for_o it_o represent_v very_o well_o what_o he_o have_v endure_v for_o us._n and_o the_o sense_n of_o the_o little_a gratitude_n to_o our_o lord_n which_o i_o have_v conceive_v and_o express_v for_o those_o wound_n of_o he_o be_v such_o that_o i_o think_v my_o very_a hart_n do_v even_o splitt_v and_o i_o cast_v myself_o earnest_o down_o near_o the_o picture_n with_o a_o great_a shower_n of_o tear_n beseech_v our_o lord_n humble_o and_o earnest_o that_o he_o will_v strengthen_v i_o so_o far_o once_o for_o all_o as_o that_o at_o length_n i_o may_v offend_v he_o no_o more_o i_o be_v beside_o very_o much_o devote_a to_o the_o glorious_a s._n marie_n magdalen_n and_o i_o think_v much_o and_o often_o of_o her_o conversion_n and_o especial_o whensoever_o i_o receive_v the_o b._n sacrament_n for_o know_v at_o that_o time_n that_o our_o lord_n be_v most_o certain_o in_o my_o very_a bosom_n i_o place_v myself_o at_o his_o foot_n as_o conceave_a that_o my_o tear_n will_v not_o be_v despise_v by_o he_o i_o know_v not_o very_o well_o what_o i_o say_v but_o yet_o i_o know_v that_o he_o who_o be_v please_v
that_o i_o shall_v shed_v those_o tear_n do_v show_v i_o favour_n enough_o for_o his_o part_n since_o i_o forget_v the_o sense_n and_o tenderness_n thereof_o so_o soon_o and_o i_o recommend_v myself_o to_o that_o glorious_a saint_n that_o she_o may_v help_v i_o to_o obtain_v pardon_n of_o my_o sin_n but_o i_o conceive_v that_o i_o profit_v the_o more_o in_o that_o last_o time_n when_o i_o pray_v before_o the_o picture_n because_o then_o note_n i_o be_v grow_v into_o very_o great_a distrust_n of_o myself_o and_o place_v all_o my_o confidence_n in_o almighty_a god_n to_o my_o think_n i_o tell_v he_o then_o that_o i_o will_v blessing_n never_o rise_v from_o thence_o till_o he_o grant_v i_o the_o humble_a suit_n which_o i_o have_v make_v and_o i_o be_o full_o of_o opinion_n that_o it_o do_v i_o good_a for_o i_o have_v go_v improve_v much_o ever_o since_o that_o time_n now_o i_o continue_v to_o hold_v this_o manner_n of_o prayer_n because_o not_o be_v able_a to_o discourse_v with_o my_o understanding_n i_o procure_v to_o represent_v christ_n our_o lord_n to_o my_o mind_n as_o be_v then_o within_o my_o very_a self_n and_o jever_n also_o find_v it_o to_o prove_v better_o with_o i_o in_o my_o opinion_n when_o i_o conceive_v myself_o to_o find_v he_o all_o alone_a for_o he_o be_v alone_o and_o i_o be_v so_o much_o afflict_v i_o think_v he_o be_v to_o admit_v i_o yea_o and_o to_o assist_v i_o too_o as_o a_o person_n who_o be_v in_o necessity_n and_o misery_n of_o this_o kind_n of_o simplicity_n i_o have_v many_o and_o in_o particular_a i_o use_v to_o find_v myself_o very_o well_o in_o the_o prayer_n of_o the_o garden_n yea_o and_o i_o be_v in_o my_o kingdom_n when_o i_o may_v accompany_v he_o there_o i_o think_v also_o much_o upon_o that_o sweat_n together_o with_o the_o great_a affliction_n which_o he_o sustain_v then_o and_o i_o wish_v that_o i_o may_v have_v be_v permit_v to_o wipe_v that_o most_o painful_a sweat_n from_o his_o face_n but_o i_o remember_v how_o in_o fine_a i_o never_o dare_v resolve_v to_o presume_v to_o do_v it_o so_o grievous_o do_v my_o sin_n represent_v themselves_o to_o i_o howsoever_o i_o remain_v there_o by_o he_o as_o long_o as_o my_o thought_n will_v give_v i_o leave_v but_o the_o truth_n be_v i_o have_v store_n of_o such_o as_o torment_v i_o most_o night_n during_o many_o year_n before_o i_o go_v to_o rest_v and_o when_o i_o be_v recommend_v myself_o to_o god_n ere_o i_o sleep_v i_o ever_o think_v a_o little_a upon_o this_o passage_n of_o his_o prayer_n in_o the_o garden_n and_o that_o even_o before_o i_o be_v a_o religious_a woman_n for_o they_o tell_v i_o that_o i_o may_v gain_v many_o indulgence_n by_o it_o and_o at_o least_o i_o be_o of_o opinion_n that_o my_o soul_n get_v much_o by_o this_o mean_n because_o thus_o i_o begin_v to_o make_v mental_a prayer_n even_o without_o express_o know_v what_o it_o be_v and_o then_o it_o be_v as_o usual_a for_o i_o not_o to_o omit_v this_o custom_n as_o not_o to_o fail_v of_o blessing_n myself_o with_o the_o sign_n of_o the_o cross_n before_o sleep_v but_o to_o return_v to_o what_o i_o be_v say_v of_o the_o torment_n which_o my_o thought_n be_v wont_a to_o give_v i_o this_o manner_n of_o proceed_v without_o discourse_n of_o the_o understanding_n have_v this_o in_o it_o that_o the_o soul_n must_v both_o gain_v much_o and_o loose_a much_o i_o mean_v all_o consideration_n and_o discourse_n be_v lose_v for_o as_o for_o profit_v they_o profit_v much_o who_o use_v it_o since_o all_o such_o prayer_n be_v love._n but_o to_o arrive_v to_o this_o point_n &_o pitch_n it_o will_v cost_v every_o body_n a_o great_a deal_n of_o pain_n except_o such_o as_o our_o lord_n vouchsafe_v to_o conduct_v in_o a_o short_a time_n to_o quiet_a prayer_n of_o which_o kind_n i_o know_v some_o and_o for_o they_o who_o go_v by_o this_o way_n it_o will_v be_v good_a to_o have_v some_o book_n or_o other_o at_o hand_n that_o so_o they_o may_v recollect_v themselves_o quick_o as_o for_o i_o it_o do_v i_o also_o good_a to_o look_v upon_o field_n or_o flower_n or_o water_n for_o in_o these_o thing_n do_v i_o find_v the_o memory_n of_o our_o creator_n as_o i_o also_o do_v in_o my_o own_o ingratitude_n and_o sin_n all_o which_o particular_n be_v wont_a to_o awake_v i_o and_o recollect_v i_o and_o to_o serve_v i_o in_o stead_n of_o a_o book_n for_o as_o for_o heaven_n and_o such_o high_a thing_n as_o that_o my_o understanding_n be_v so_o dull_a that_o i_o can_v never_o i_o say_v never_o be_v able_a to_o have_v or_o frame_v any_o imagination_n or_o fancy_n concern_v they_o till_o our_o lord_n represent_v they_o to_o i_o by_o other_o mean_n and_o i_o have_v so_o very_o little_a ability_n to_o represent_v thing_n to_o my_o mind_n by_o way_n of_o the_o understanding-part_n that_o my_o imagination_n serve_v i_o not_o to_o work_v upon_o any_o thing_n but_o only_o what_o i_o see_v with_o my_o eye_n which_o yet_o other_o be_v able_a enough_o to_o do_v who_o know_v how_o to_o form_v certain_a representation_n of_o thing_n to_o themselves_o upon_o which_o they_o can_v recollect_v their_o thought_n for_o my_o part_n i_o can_v only_o think_v upon_o christ_n our_o lord_n as_o man_n but_o yet_o it_o be_v very_o true_a that_o how_o much_o soever_o i_o read_v of_o his_o beauty_n or_o see_v his_o picture_n yet_o can_v i_o never_o represent_v he_o to_o myself_o but_o just_a so_o as_o one_o who_o be_v either_o in_o the_o dark_a or_o else_o stark_o blind_a may_v be_v able_a at_o that_o very_a time_n to_o represent_v any_o other_o person_n to_o himself_o for_o though_o such_o a_o one_o may_v speak_v with_o such_o another_o &_o know_v that_o he_o be_v with_o that_o person_n because_o he_o be_v sure_a that_o the_o say_a person_n be_v there_o yet_o in_o fine_a he_o do_v but_o understand_v and_o believe_v he_o to_o be_v there_o for_o he_o see_v he_o not_o and_o in_o this_o sort_n do_v it_o happen_v to_o i_o when_o i_o think_v of_o our_o lord_n upon_o this_o reason_n be_v i_o so_o great_a a_o friend_n and_o favourer_n of_o the_o use_n of_o image_n or_o holy_a picture_n miserable_a creature_n be_v they_o who_o lose_v this_o benefit_n through_o their_o own_o fault_n and_o it_o appear_v also_o well_o enough_o that_o they_o do_v not_o love_v our_o lord_n for_o if_o they_o love_v he_o they_o will_v be_v glad_a to_o see_v his_o picture_n as_o here_o it_o give_v we_o contentment_n so_o see_v the_o picture_n of_o those_o person_n who_o we_o love_v about_o this_o time_n they_o give_v i_o the_o confession_n of_o s._n augustin_n and_o it_o seem_v our_o lord_n do_v so_o ordain_v it_o for_o neither_o do_v i_o procure_v they_o nor_o have_v i_o ever_o see_v they_o i_o bear_v a_o very_a great_a affection_n to_o this_o saint_n because_o the_o monastery_n where_o i_o live_v before_o i_o grow_v to_o be_v religious_a be_v of_o his_o order_n and_o beside_o in_o regard_n that_o he_o have_v be_v a_o sinner_n for_o i_o always_o find_v particular_a comfort_n in_o those_o saint_n who_o after_o have_v be_v sinner_n be_v convert_v to_o our_o lord_n as_o conceave_a that_o i_o shall_v have_v help_n by_o their_o mean_n and_o that_o our_o lord_n may_v also_o be_v induce_v to_o forgive_v i_o as_o he_o have_v do_v they_o save_o only_o that_o i_o be_v discomfort_a by_o this_o consideration_n as_o i_o have_v say_v before_o that_o our_o lord_n call_v they_o but_o once_o and_o they_o return_v not_o to_o fall_v from_o he_o any_o more_o but_o as_o for_o i_o i_o have_v fall_v so_o often_o that_o it_o afflict_v i_o to_o the_o very_a hart_n but_o yet_o still_o when_o i_o consider_v the_o love_n he_o bear_v i_o i_o grow_v to_o be_v encourage_v again_o for_o i_o never_o disinherit_v his_o mercy_n though_o i_o doubt_v of_o myself_o very_o often_o o_o my_o dear_a lord_n how_o mighty_o do_v that_o obstinate_a stiffness_n amaze_v i_o to_o which_o my_o soul_n must_v needs_o have_v be_v subject_a whilst_o it_o receive_v so_o many_o help_n at_o thy_o hand_n and_o all_o in_o vain_a and_o it_o strike_v i_o with_o much_o fear_n to_o consider_v how_o little_a i_o be_v able_a to_o win_v upon_o myself_o all_o that_o while_n and_o how_o i_o remain_v still_o bind_v up_o from_o resolve_v to_o give_v myself_o whole_o to_o thou_o but_o when_o once_o i_o begin_v to_o read_v the_o say_a confession_n i_o think_v that_o case_n which_o have_v be_v he_o be_v also_o now_o direct_o i_o own_o and_o i_o recommend_v myself_o much_o to_o that_o glorious_a saint_n but_o when_o i_o come_v afterward_o to_o his_o conversion_n and_o read_v how_o he_o hear_v that_o voice_n
our_o lord_n will_v seem_v to_o have_v bring_v they_o so_o upon_o we_o as_o that_o we_o be_v not_o able_a to_o resist_v they_o now_o it_o seem_v that_o his_o divine_a majesty_n be_v please_v to_o pay_v we_o here_o for_o the_o little_a poor_a care_n we_o take_v to_o serve_v he_o with_o so_o high_a a_o gift_n as_o that_o comfort_n be_v which_o he_o bestow_v upon_o a_o soul_n who_o see_v herself_o able_a to_o lament_v &_o weep_v for_o have_v offend_v so_o great_a a_o lord_n and_o i_o wonder_v not_o a_o whitt_n at_o this_o for_o i_o think_v she_o have_v reason_n enough_o and_o to_o spare_v for_o receive_v joy_n and_o comfort_n upon_o this_o occasion_n there_o do_v the_o soul_n rejoice_v &_o there_o do_v she_o regale_n herself_o i_o like_v that_o comparison_n well_o which_o offer_v itself_o to_o i_o now_o that_o these_o joy_n of_o prayer_n shall_v be_v somewhat_o like_o those_o other_o which_o be_v in_o heaven_n for_o as_o they_o see_v no_o more_o there_o then_o god_n be_v please_v that_o they_o shall_v see_v according_a to_o their_o desert_n &_o they_o acknowledge_v how_o small_a those_o desert_n be_v every_o one_o of_o they_o be_v high_o well_o content_a with_o the_o place_n wherein_o he_o be_v though_o yet_o there_o be_v a_o excessive_a difference_n betweme_v the_o joy_n of_o some_o and_o of_o other_o in_o heaven_n yea_o much_o more_o than_o there_o be_v between_o some_o spiritual_a joy_n and_o other_o here_o on_o earth_n which_o yet_o be_v very_o great_a and_o real_o a_o soul_n when_o god_n do_v she_o this_o favour_n at_o first_o be_v very_o apt_a to_o think_v that_o there_o remain_v no_o more_o then_o to_o be_v desire_v and_o she_o esteem_v herself_o then_o to_o be_v abundant_o satisfy_v for_o all_o the_o service_n which_o ever_o she_o be_v able_a to_o pay_v almighty_a god_n and_o i_o find_v that_o she_o have_v at_o least_o reason_n enough_o to_o think_v so_o for_o even_o one_o of_o those_o single_a tear_n which_o yet_o we_o may_v after_o a_o sort_n procure_v in_o some_o part_n even_o of_o ourselves_o though_o still_o without_o the_o assistance_n and_o favour_n of_o god_n we_o can_v do_v absolute_o nothing_o at_o all_o can_v be_v pay_v for_o and_o purchase_v in_o my_o opinion_n with_o all_o the_o labour_n and_o trouble_n of_o the_o world_n for_o a_o soul_n gain_v much_o by_o they_o and_o indeed_o what_o great_a gain_n can_v possible_o any_o creature_n acquire_v then_o to_o have_v some_o kind_n of_o testimony_n that_o she_o be_v please_v to_o almighty_a god_n so_o that_o let_v whosoever_o shall_v arrive_v to_o this_o note_n point_n praise_n god_n very_o much_o and_o acknowledge_v himself_o to_o be_v mighty_o in_o his_o debt_n for_o already_o there_o be_v good_a appearance_n that_o his_o divine_a majesty_n design_v such_o a_o person_n for_o his_o service_n in_o his_o own_o house_n and_o have_v choose_v he_o for_o his_o kingdom_n without_o intention_n that_o he_o shall_v turn_v his_o back_n from_o he_o any_o more_o and_o let_v we_o not_o care_n for_o certain_a odd_a humility_n which_o be_v in_o the_o world_n whereof_o i_o intend_v to_o treat_v for_o some_o will_v needs_o esteem_v it_o to_o be_v humility_n error_n not_o to_o understand_v those_o gift_n which_o our_o lord_n be_v bestow_v upon_o they_o but_o as_o for_o we_o let_v we_o well_o and_o very_o well_o know_v how_o the_o case_n stand_v with_o we_o namely_o that_o almighty_a god_n bestow_v they_o upon_o we_o without_o any_o merit_n at_o all_o of_o we_o and_o let_v we_o be_v thankful_a to_o his_o divine_a majesty_n for_o they_o for_o if_o we_o know_v not_o what_o favour_n we_o receive_v we_o shall_v not_o stir_v ourselves_o up_o to_o love_v he_o for_o they_o as_o we_o ought_v for_o it_o be_v a_o most_o certain_a truth_n that_o the_o better_a we_o find_v that_o we_o be_v rich_a know_v first_o that_o of_o ourselves_o we_o be_v poor_a we_o grow_v to_o profit_v so_o much_o the_o more_o yea_o and_o even_o our_o very_a humility_n will_v prove_v to_o be_v more_o entire_a and_o sincere_a that_o other_o course_n serve_v but_o to_o accowardize_n the_o mind_n and_o to_o make_v it_o hold_v itself_o uncapable_a of_o receive_v great_a benefit_n if_o our_o lord_n begin_v once_o to_o bestow_v they_o it_o shall_v also_o begin_v to_o fright_v itself_o by_o a_o fear_n of_o vainglory_n but_o let_v we_o rather_o believe_v that_o he_o who_o do_v we_o so_o great_a favour_n will_v give_v we_o also_o grace_n that_o if_o the_o devil_n tempt_v we_o upon_o these_o occasion_n we_o shall_v have_v knowledge_n how_o to_o understand_v he_o and_o strength_n from_o god_n how_o to_o resist_v he_o i_o mean_v if_o we_o go_v on_o with_o plainness_n and_o sincerity_n as_o in_o the_o sight_n of_o almighty_a god_n pretend_v ever_o to_o content_v he_o only_o without_o respect_n to_o man_n for_o it_o be_v a_o very_a evident_a and_o certain_a truth_n that_o we_o love_v a_o person_n the_o better_a when_o we_o remember_v very_o fresh_o what_o benefit_n we_o have_v receive_v at_o his_o hand_n and_o if_o it_o be_v both_o lawful_a and_o meritorious_a for_o we_o to_o be_v ever_o keep_v in_o memory_n that_o we_o have_v our_o very_a be_v from_o almighty_a god_n and_o that_o he_o create_v we_o of_o nothing_o and_o that_o he_o uphold_v we_o still_o together_o with_o all_o those_o other_o benefit_n of_o his_o passion_n and_o death_n which_o he_o endure_v for_o every_o one_o of_o we_o who_o be_v now_o alive_a long_o before_o we_o be_v bear_v why_o shall_v it_o not_o be_v also_o lawful_a for_o i_o who_o be_v wont_a to_o treat_v of_o nothing_o but_o vanity_n to_o understand_v and_o see_v and_o consider_v these_o thing_n often_o especial_o when_o now_o our_o lord_n allow_v i_o so_o great_a a_o blessing_n as_o that_o i_o will_v not_o willing_o even_o so_o much_o as_o speak_v of_o any_o thing_n but_o of_o he_o and_o now_o behold_v here_o a_o rich_a jewel_n which_o remember_v that_o it_o be_v bestow_v upon_o we_o and_o that_o already_o we_o be_v in_o possession_n thereof_o invite_v and_o even_o oblige_v we_o to_o love_v our_o bless_a lord_n and_o this_o in_o fine_a be_v the_o total_a good_a of_o that_o prayer_n which_o be_v ground_v upon_o humility_n but_o what_o will_v then_o occur_v when_o they_o shall_v find_v that_o other_o more_o precious_a jewel_n be_v come_v into_o their_o power_n and_o possession_n which_o our_o lord_n impart_v to_o some_o of_o his_o servant_n as_o namely_o a_o profund_a contempt_n both_o of_o the_o whole_a world_n yea_o and_o of_o themselves_o it_o be_v clear_a that_o in_o this_o case_n we_o must_v hold_v ourselves_o for_o deep_a debtor_n and_o more_o oblige_v to_o serve_v he_o and_o to_o understand_v that_o of_o ourselves_o we_o have_v no_o part_n of_o this_o treasure_n at_o all_o and_o to_o know_v the_o great_a bounty_n of_o our_o bless_a lord_n who_o to_o a_o soul_n so_o wicked_a and_o so_o absolute_o without_o all_o merit_n as_o i_o for_o which_o the_o first_o of_o those_o jewel_n aforesaid_a be_v not_o only_o sufficient_a but_o by_o much_o too_o great_a will_v yet_o needs_o load_v i_o still_o with_o great_a treasure_n than_o i_o can_v even_o tell_v how_o to_o desire_v we_o must_v in_o such_o case_n as_o these_o procure_v to_o get_v new_a strength_n wherewith_o to_o serve_v he_o and_o by_o no_o mean_n to_o be_v ungrateful_a for_o our_o lord_n give_v they_o ever_o upon_o this_o condition_n that_o if_o we_o use_v not_o well_o that_o treasure_n and_o high_a place_n wherein_o he_o put_v we_o he_o will_v strip_v we_o of_o they_o again_o and_o as_o for_o our_o part_n we_o shall_v come_v to_o be_v more_o poor_a then_o ever_o we_o be_v &_o so_o his_o divine_a majesty_n will_v dispense_v his_o treasure_n to_o such_o other_o as_o he_o shall_v think_v fit_a &_o who_o may_v benefit_v both_o themselves_o and_o other_o by_o the_o good_a use_n thereof_o but_o now_o how_o shall_v that_o man_n improve_v his_o own_o stock_n and_o spend_v thereof_o with_o latitude_n of_o hart_n upon_o other_o whilst_o yet_o he_o be_v not_o come_v so_o far_o as_o to_o know_v that_o himself_o be_v rich_a it_o be_v in_o my_o opinion_n a_o impossible_a kind_n of_o thing_n consider_v the_o ground_n of_o humane_a nature_n for_o one_o to_o do_v great_a and_o goodly_a thing_n if_o he_o understand_v not_o himself_o to_o be_v favour_v by_o almighty_a god_n for_o we_o be_v so_o miserable_a creature_n and_o so_o incline_v to_o delight_n in_o thing_n of_o this_o world_n that_o we_o can_v hardly_o abhor_v effectual_o all_o that_o which_o here_o we_o enjoy_v and_o especial_o to_o do_v it_o with_o great_a liberty_n of_o spirit_n if_o we_o understand_v not_o out_o self_n to_o have_v some_o kind_n of_o taste_n or_o pawn_v concern_v heavenly_a
thing_n for_o by_o mean_n of_o such_o blessing_n as_o these_o do_v our_o lord_n impart_v that_o fortitude_n to_o we_o which_o we_o lose_v by_o our_o sin_n and_o he_o shall_v but_o unlucky_o desire_v and_o exhort_v a_o man_n to_o despise_v and_o abhor_v the_o world_n and_o encourage_v he_o to_o acquire_v all_o those_o great_a virtue_n which_o christian_n of_o high_a perfection_n use_v to_o possess_v if_o he_o be_v not_o uphold_v therein_o by_o a_o livelie_a faith_n and_o by_o his_o have_v also_o feel_v some_o assurance_n of_o the_o love_n which_o our_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o bear_v he_o for_o natural_o we_o be_v so_o very_o dead_a that_o we_o look_v not_o after_o any_o thing_n but_o that_o which_o we_o see_v at_o the_o present_a and_o so_o these_o very_a favour_n be_v the_o thing_n which_o awake_v &_o strengthen_v our_o faith_n i_o say_v not_o but_o that_o it_o may_v very_o well_o be_v that_o i_o be_v so_o very_o wicked_a be_o apt_a to_o judge_v of_o other_o by_o myself_o &_o that_o those_o other_o may_v need_v no_o more_o than_o the_o very_a light_n and_o truth_n of_o faith_n for_o the_o make_v their_o work_n very_o perfect_a but_o i_o as_o very_o miserable_a have_v beme_fw-mi in_o need_n of_o all_o possible_a help_n other_o may_v well_o say_v what_o they_o please_v but_o i_o relate_v what_o have_v occur_v to_o i_o as_o they_o who_o have_v power_n over_o i_o command_n and_o if_o he_o to_o who_o i_o send_v it_o do_v not_o like_v it_o he_o may_v tear_v it_o as_o know_v better_o than_o i_o what_o be_v unfit_a who_o i_o humble_o beseech_v even_o for_o the_o love_n of_o our_o bless_a lord_n that_o whatsoever_o i_o have_v say_v hitherto_o concern_v my_o wicked_a life_n and_o my_o sin_n he_o will_v publish_v it_o and_o from_o this_o instant_n i_o give_v leave_n both_o to_o he_o and_o all_o they_o who_o have_v be_v my_o ghostly_a father_n of_o which_o number_n he_o be_v to_o who_o this_o go_v address_v that_o they_o do_v it_o even_o now_o whilst_o i_o be_o live_v to_o the_o end_n that_o even_o now_o i_o may_v deceive_v the_o world_n no_o long_o which_o else_o perhaps_o may_v think_v that_o there_o be_v some_o good_a thing_n in_o i_o and_o real_o and_o very_o real_o i_o speak_v truth_n to_o the_o best_a that_o i_o can_v now_o understand_v of_o myself_o that_o he_o shall_v give_v i_o great_a comfort_n if_o he_o will_v do_v it_o but_o as_o for_o that_o which_o shall_v follow_v hereafter_o in_o this_o discourse_n i_o allow_v he_o no_o such_o liberty_n at_o all_o nor_o will_v i_o by_o any_o mean_n give_v way_n that_o if_o they_o chance_v to_o show_v the_o thing_n to_o any_o creature_n they_o declare_v who_o that_o person_n be_v with_o who_o it_o pass_v nor_o who_o write_v it_o and_o for_o this_o reason_n have_v i_o forbear_v to_o name_n either_o myself_o or_o any_o other_o who_o have_v interuen_v to_o the_o story_n but_o i_o have_v do_v the_o best_a i_o can_v to_o write_v it_o so_o as_o that_o i_o may_v not_o be_v know_v and_o i_o desire_v for_o the_o love_n of_o our_o lord_n that_o it_o may_v ever_o remain_v as_o a_o secret_n for_o it_o will_v suffice_v that_o there_o be_v so_o learned_a and_o grave_a person_n as_o may_v authorise_v any_o thing_n which_o be_v good_a if_o our_o lord_n will_v give_v i_o grace_n to_o relate_v it_o and_o if_o there_o be_v it_o must_v be_v he_o and_o not_o i_o for_o they_o only_o who_o command_v i_o to_o write_v it_o know_v that_o i_o write_v it_o and_o at_o the_o present_a they_o be_v not_o here_o and_o i_o write_v it_o also_o as_o it_o be_v by_o stealth_n and_o with_o want_n of_o time_n and_o with_o some_o trouble_n because_o i_o be_o keep_v from_o spin_v and_o i_o live_v in_o a_o poor_a house_n and_o have_v business_n enough_o and_o if_o our_o lord_n give_v i_o more_o ability_n and_o memory_n of_o both_o which_o i_o have_v very_o little_a i_o may_v yet_o by_o mean_n thereof_o serve_v myself_o of_o what_o i_o have_v hear_v or_o read_v so_o that_o if_o i_o say_v any_o thing_n which_o be_v good_a our_o lord_n will_v serve_v himself_o of_o it_o for_o some_o good_a end_n but_o whatsoever_o be_v ill_o say_v will_v be_v my_o own_o and_o that_o your_o reverence_n may_v blot_v out_o and_o both_o for_o the_o one_o and_o for_o the_o other_o there_o will_v be_v no_o reason_n at_o all_o to_o declare_v my_o name_n during_o any_o body_n life_n it_o be_v clear_a that_o the_o good_a he_o do_v be_v not_o to_o be_v relate_v and_o after_o death_n it_o will_v also_o serve_v for_o nothing_o in_o this_o case_n but_o only_o to_o make_v it_o loose_v all_o authority_n and_o credit_n for_o have_v be_v recount_v by_o a_o person_n so_o base_a and_o so_o wicked_a as_o myself_o and_o because_o i_o hope_v you_o will_v do_v that_o which_o i_o say_v and_o i_o humble_o beg_v it_o of_o you_o even_o for_o the_o love_n of_o our_o lord_n and_o of_o those_o other_o also_o who_o be_v to_o see_v it_o i_o write_v as_o you_o see_v with_o all_o liberty_n and_o clearness_n for_o otherwise_o i_o shall_v have_v great_a scruple_n to_o do_v it_o but_o only_o for_o the_o mere_a declaration_n of_o my_o sin_n and_o in_o that_o i_o have_v none_o at_o all_o as_o for_o other_o thing_n it_o be_v enough_o that_o i_o be_o a_o woman_n to_o make_v my_o wing_n fall_v down_o flat_a by_o my_o side_n and_o how_o much_o more_o then_o since_o i_o be_o not_o only_o a_o weoman_n but_o a_o wicked_a woman_n and_o therefore_o whatsoever_o your_o reverence_n shall_v find_v here_o beyond_o the_o bare_a relation_n of_o the_o course_n of_o my_o life_n you_o must_v take_v to_o be_v only_o for_o yourself_o since_o you_o will_v needs_o importune_v i_o so_o far_o as_o to_o make_v you_o some_o declaration_n of_o the_o favour_n which_o our_o lord_n have_v be_v please_v to_o do_v i_o in_o prayer_n suppose_v ever_o that_o you_o hold_v they_o to_o be_v in_o conformity_n with_o the_o truth_n of_o our_o holy_a catholic_n faith_n for_o if_o not_o you_o be_v instant_o to_o burn_v it_o and_o to_o this_o direction_n i_o will_v stand_v so_o that_o i_o will_v declare_v what_o pass_v with_o i_o in_o this_o kind_n to_o the_o end_n that_o if_o it_o shall_v prove_v conform_a to_o catholic_n truth_n it_o may_v be_v of_o some_o service_n to_o you_o and_o if_o not_o that_o you_o may_v be_v the_o better_a able_a to_o undeceave_v my_o soul_n and_o so_o the_o devil_n may_v get_v nothing_o by_o that_o whereby_o i_o take_v myself_o to_o gain_v for_o our_o lord_n know_v that_o i_o ever_o have_v procure_v to_o meet_v with_o person_n who_o may_v give_v i_o light_n as_o i_o shall_v show_v afterward_o but_o how_o clear_o soever_o i_o shall_v strive_v to_o declare_v these_o thing_n concern_v prayer_n it_o will_v fall_v out_o to_o be_v obscure_a enough_o for_o such_o as_o have_v no_o experience_n therein_o i_o will_v touch_v also_o upon_o some_o impediment_n which_o according_a to_o my_o way_n of_o understanding_n use_v to_o oppose_v themselves_o against_o such_o person_n as_o be_v walk_v on_o in_o this_o way_n and_o i_o will_v also_o point_v at_o some_o other_o in_o which_o there_o may_v be_v some_o danger_n according_a to_o what_o our_o lord_n have_v teach_v i_o by_o experience_n and_o i_o have_v since_o treat_v with_o great_a learned_a man_n and_o person_n who_o have_v give_v themselves_o to_o spirit_n many_o year_n and_o they_o see_v that_o his_o divine_a majesty_n have_v vouchsafe_v i_o in_o seven_o and_o twenty_o year_n wherein_o i_o have_v use_v mental_a prayer_n though_o i_o have_v walk_v on_o so_o ill_o &_o with_o so_o many_o stumble_a block_n in_o the_o way_n that_o experience_n which_o he_o have_v not_o allow_v to_o other_o in_o seven_o and_o thirty_o yea_o and_o in_o seven_o and_o forty_o year_n whilst_o yet_o they_o have_v spend_v their_o life_n in_o penance_n and_o ever_o in_o a_o course_n of_o virtue_n let_v he_o be_v bless_v for_o all_o and_o i_o be_v seech_v his_o divine_a majesty_n even_o by_o what_o he_o be_v himself_o that_o he_o will_v vouchsafe_v to_o be_v serve_v by_o i_o for_o my_o dear_a lord_n know_v very_o well_o that_o i_o pretend_v no_o other_o thing_n by_o this_o but_o only_o that_o he_o may_v be_v a_o little_a the_o more_o exalt_v and_o praise_v when_o you_o see_v that_o he_o will_v needs_o plant_v a_o garden_n of_o so_o sweet_a flower_n upon_o and_o in_o a_o dunghill_n so_o foul_a and_o filthy_a and_o of_o so_o very_o ill_a favour_n as_o i_o be_o i_o humble_o beseech_v his_o divine_a majesty_n that_o i_o return_v not_o through_o my_o fault_n to_o pluck_v they_o all_o up_o by_o the_o root_n and_o so_o become_v again_o
delight_v and_o enjoy_v though_o yet_o still_o both_o the_o first_o and_o the_o two_o middle_a one_o and_o even_o the_o last_o have_v all_o of_o they_o their_o several_a cross_n to_o carry_v yet_o in_o a_o different_a kind_n but_o in_o fine_a all_z they_o who_o will_v follow_v christ_n our_o lord_n must_v go_v by_o that_o very_a way_n where_o he_o go_v unless_o they_o will_v have_v a_o mind_n to_o be_v lose_v and_o happy_a be_v those_o trouble_n which_o be_v endure_v here_o since_o even_o here_o they_o be_v so_o superabundant_o recompense_v and_o pay_v i_o must_v now_o serve_v myself_o of_o some_o comparison_n which_o yet_o i_o will_v be_v glad_a to_o forbear_v in_o regard_n that_o i_o be_o a_o woman_n and_o will_v fain_o set_v that_o down_o very_o simple_o and_o plain_o which_o they_o command_v i_o to_o say_v but_o this_o language_n of_o spirit_n be_v so_o very_o hard_o to_o be_v declare_v by_o such_o as_o be_v unlearned_a like_v i_o that_o i_o must_v seek_v some_o particular_a way_n how_o to_o do_v it_o and_o it_o be_v likely_a that_o i_o shall_v seldom_o hit_v tight_a in_o make_v the_o comparison_n serve_v but_o in_o that_o case_n it_o may_v pass_v for_o your_o recreation_n to_o see_v how_o very_o improper_a and_o rude_a i_o be_o to_o my_o remembrance_n i_o have_v either_o read_v or_o hear_v this_o use_n comparison_n which_o follow_v here_o for_o my_o memory_n be_v so_o very_o imperfect_a that_o i_o know_v not_o how_o nor_o upon_o what_o occasion_n i_o meet_v with_o it_o first_o but_o it_o content_v i_o at_o least_o for_o the_o present_a in_o order_n to_o what_o i_o have_v in_o hand_n he_o who_o begin_v in_o the_o way_n of_o prayer_n must_v conceive_v that_o he_o be_v beginning_n to_o frame_v a_o orchard_n or_o garden_n for_o the_o contentment_n and_o delight_n of_o his_o lord_n though_o yet_o it_o be_v in_o a_o very_a unfruitful_a soil_n and_o full_a of_o weed_n his_o divine_a majesty_n now_o be_v he_o who_o must_v be_v please_v to_o plant_v good_a herb_n and_o root_v the_o ill_a one_o up_o but_o now_o we_o will_v make_v account_n that_o this_o be_v do_v already_o in_o our_o case_n when_o a_o soul_n not_o only_o resolve_v to_o use_v prayer_n but_o have_v already_o begin_v to_o use_v it_o and_o now_o by_o the_o help_n of_o our_o lord_n we_o must_v procure_v like_o careful_a gardener_n that_o these_o good_a herb_n which_o be_v plant_v may_v grow_v and_o we_o must_v take_v care_n to_o water_v they_o that_o so_o they_o may_v not_o wither_v but_o may_v come_v to_o yield_v flower_n of_o so_o excellent_a odour_n as_o may_v serve_v to_o be_v of_o recreation_n to_o this_o lord_n of_o we_o that_o so_o he_o may_v take_v pleasure_n to_o come_v often_o into_o this_o garden_n of_o he_o and_o delight_v himself_o among_o these_o virtue_n of_o our_o soul_n now_o let_v we_o see_v in_o what_o sort_n these_o flower_n may_v be_v water_v that_o so_o we_o may_v come_v to_o understand_v what_o we_o be_v to_o do_v and_o what_o trouble_v it_o be_v likely_a to_o cost_v and_o whether_o the_o gain_n will_v prove_v to_o be_v more_o than_o the_o labour_n and_o how_o long_o it_o will_v be_v likely_a to_o last_v as_o for_o i_o it_o occurr_v to_o i_o to_o think_v that_o these_o plant_n may_v be_v water_v by_o four_o way_n either_o by_o draw_v water_n out_o of_o a_o well_o which_o we_o can_v do_v without_o much_o labour_n or_o by_o way_n of_o a_o noria_n wheel_n with_o certain_a little_a bueket_n belong_v to_o it_o which_o be_v easy_o turn_v about_o by_o the_o hand_n and_o myself_o have_v draw_v some_o thus_o now_o and_o then_o and_o i_o find_v that_o it_o bring_v up_o more_o water_n with_o less_o trouble_n then_o do_v that_o of_o the_o former_a way_n or_o else_o by_o mean_n of_o let_v in_o some_o little_a brook_n or_o river_n into_o the_o garden_n and_o by_o this_o mean_n the_o garden_n be_v water_v much_o better_o then_o by_o the_o former_a and_o the_o earth_n remain_v with_o more_o moisture_n and_o there_o will_v not_o be_v need_n to_o water_v it_o so_o often_o and_o the_o labour_n also_o of_o the_o gardener_n be_v much_o less_o or_o else_o in_o fine_a when_o there_o fall_v a_o good_a shower_n of_o rain_n upon_o the_o garden_n for_o then_o the_o lord_n himself_o water_v it_o without_o any_o labour_n at_o all_o of_o we_o and_o this_o be_v without_o comparison_n the_o very_a far_o best_a way_n of_o all_o the_o four_o but_o now_o for_o apply_v these_o four_o way_n of_o use_v water_n whereby_o this_o garden_n of_o we_o be_v to_o be_v preserve_v because_o a_o garden_n without_o water_n be_v to_o perish_v that_o which_o i_o think_v be_v to_o our_o purpose_n be_v that_o we_o may_v by_o this_o similitude_n declare_v somewhat_o of_o these_o four_o degree_n of_o prayer_n into_o which_o our_o lord_n through_o his_o goodness_n have_v sometime_o bring_v my_o soul_n and_o i_o humble_o beseech_v he_o of_o his_o mercy_n that_o i_o may_v hit_v right_a upon_o what_o i_o be_o about_o to_o say_v in_o such_o sort_n as_o that_o it_o may_v be_v of_o use_n and_o profit_n to_o one_o of_o those_o person_n who_o command_v i_o to_o write_v thus_o much_o and_o who_o our_o lord_n have_v draw_v further_o on_o in_o four_o month_n than_o i_o be_v able_a to_o get_v in_o seaventeen_o year_n but_o certain_o he_o dispose_v himself_o better_a and_o so_o the_o gardener_n have_v water_v his_o orchard_n without_o any_o trouble_n at_o all_o to_o the_o party_n with_o all_o these_o four_o kind_n of_o water_n though_o the_o last_o of_o the_o four_o have_v not_o yet_o come_v to_o his_o turn_n but_o by_o drop_n but_o the_o business_n go_v on_o in_o such_o sort_n that_o by_o the_o favour_n and_o help_v of_o our_o lord_n he_o will_v quick_o ingulfe_n himself_o therein_o and_o i_o shall_v be_v hearty_o glad_a if_o he_o laugh_v at_o i_o in_o case_n he_o find_v the_o manner_n of_o my_o declare_v this_o point_n in_o question_n to_o have_v be_v impertinent_a of_o they_o who_o begin_v to_o hold_v prayer_n we_o may_v say_v that_o those_o be_v the_o person_n who_o draw_v water_n out_o of_o the_o well_o which_o use_v to_o be_v very_o troublesome_a as_o i_o have_v say_v for_o they_o be_v likely_a to_o take_v much_o pain_n about_o recollect_v their_o sense_n which_o have_v be_v use_v to_o wander_v and_o go_v scatter_v up_o and_o down_o it_o be_v wont_a to_o be_v of_o trouble_n enough_o these_o man_n lesson_n have_v therefore_o need_n to_o go_v accustom_v themselves_o not_o to_o desire_v to_o see_v or_o hear_v impertinent_a thing_n and_o to_o observe_v their_o hour_n of_o prayer_n and_o to_o love_v to_o be_v alone_o and_o to_o consider_v the_o life_n which_o they_o have_v lead_v and_o to_o do_v it_o hand_n to_o hand_n by_o themselves_o and_o though_o all_o these_o whether_o they_o be_v either_o of_o the_o first_o degree_n or_o of_o the_o last_o be_v to_o employ_v themselves_o upon_o these_o thought_n very_o often_o yet_o there_o be_v to_o be_v of_o the_o more_o and_o of_o the_o less_o in_o these_o cogitation_n as_o i_o will_v show_v afterward_o at_o first_o they_o be_v wont_n to_o be_v in_o some_o pain_n because_o they_o use_v not_o to_o be_v full_o enough_o satisfy_v that_o they_o repent_v themselves_o sufficient_o of_o their_o sin_n and_o yet_o they_o fail_v not_o to_o do_v it_o since_o they_o resolve_v to_o serve_v almighty_a god_n in_o so_o very_o good_a earnest_n they_o must_v procure_v to_o meditate_v much_o upon_o the_o life_n of_o christ_n our_o lord_n though_o the_o understanding_n will_v perhaps_o be_v weary_a of_o this_o but_o yet_o hitherto_o we_o may_v be_v able_a to_o be_v of_o some_o help_n to_o ourselves_o i_o mean_v together_o with_o the_o favour_n of_o our_o lord_n for_o without_o this_o the_o world_n know_v well_o enough_o that_o we_o be_v not_o able_a so_o much_o as_o to_o have_v a_o good_a thought_n now_o this_o be_v to_o begin_v to_o draw_v water_n out_o of_o a_o well_o and_o i_o pray_v god_n there_o fall_v out_o to_o be_v any_o but_o at_o least_o the_o fault_n be_v not_o we_o if_o there_o be_v none_o since_o we_o endeavour_v to_o draw_v it_o and_o since_o we_o do_v what_o we_o can_v towards_o the_o water_v of_o these_o flower_n and_o almighty_a god_n be_v so_o very_o good_a that_o when_o for_o reason_n best_a know_v to_o his_o divine_a majesty_n yea_o and_o perhaps_o even_o for_o our_o own_o great_a good_n he_o will_v have_v this_o well_o to_o be_v dry_a he_o be_v please_v so_o that_o still_o we_o do_v our_o part_n like_o good_a gardener_n to_o sustain_v these_o flower_n without_o any_o water_n at_o all_o and_o to_o make_v our_o virtue_n grow_v i_o mean_v here_o by_o water_n tear_n whereof_o
there_o may_v peradventure_o be_v none_o as_o also_o no_o tenderness_n or_o inward_a feel_n of_o devotion_n but_o what_o shall_v he_o do_v now_o who_o see_v that_o for_o the_o space_n of_o a_o long_a time_n there_o be_v nothing_o but_o dryness_n and_o disgust_v and_o displeasure_n and_o so_o little_a devotion_n also_o to_o go_v draw_v any_o more_o water_n out_o of_o the_o well_o for_o certain_o if_o he_o do_v not_o remember_v that_o he_o do_v some_o kind_n of_o pleasure_n and_o service_n to_o the_o lord_n of_o the_o garden_n and_o do_v not_o take_v care_n not_o to_o loose_v all_o the_o labour_n which_o he_o have_v already_o undergo_v and_o the_o hope_n also_o of_o get_v more_o by_o so_o great_a pain_n as_o he_o take_v to_o cast_v the_o bucket_n so_o often_o into_o the_o well_o and_o to_o bring_v it_o back_o without_o any_o water_n at_o all_o without_o doubt_n he_o will_v give_v over_o outright_o and_o many_o time_n it_o shall_v also_o happen_v to_o he_o upon_o this_o occasion_n that_o he_o will_v not_o so_o much_o as_o stir_v his_o hand_n nor_o will_v he_o be_v able_a so_o much_o as_o to_o continue_v in_o one_o good_a thought_n for_o already_o it_o be_v to_o be_v grant_v that_o this_o way_n of_o work_v by_o the_o employment_n of_o the_o understanding_n be_v a_o strive_v to_o draw_v water_n out_o of_o a_o well_o but_o now_o as_o i_o be_v say_v what_o be_v the_o gardener_n to_o do_v in_o this_o case_n i_o comfort_n answer_v that_o he_o be_v to_o rejoice_v and_o to_o receive_v much_o comfort_n and_o to_o esteem_v it_o for_o a_o incomparable_a favour_n that_o he_o may_v be_v suffer_v to_o labour_v and_o work_v in_o the_o garden_n of_o so_o great_a a_o emperor_n as_o god_n be_v and_o since_o he_o know_v that_o he_o give_v contentment_n to_o his_o divine_a majesty_n thereby_o for_o the_o gust_n &_o service_n of_o god_n &_o not_o the_o gardener_n own_o be_v to_o be_v his_o main_n and_o final_a scope_n let_v he_o give_v god_n glory_n and_o praise_n who_o proceed_v with_o he_o and_o treat_v he_o in_o so_o confident_a a_o manner_n since_o he_o give_v he_o grace_n to_o have_v so_o great_a care_n of_o do_v that_o which_o he_o recommend_v to_o he_o though_o he_o do_v not_o pay_v he_o yet_o for_o his_o pain_n and_o let_v this_o gardener_n still_o help_v our_o lord_n to_o carry_v his_o cross_n and_o remember_v that_o the_o same_o lord_n live_v and_o lay_v upon_o the_o same_o cross_n all_o his_o life_n and_o let_v not_o this_o man_n desire_n to_o enjoy_v his_o kingdom_n here_o in_o this_o world_n nor_o ever_o once_o give-ove_a his_o prayer_n but_o let_v he_o rather_o resolve_v that_o though_o his_o dryness_n of_o sensible_a indevotion_n shall_v last_v with_o he_o as_o long_o as_o his_o life_n yet_o he_o will_v never_o give_v occasion_n that_o christ_n our_o lord_n shall_v fall_v down_o with_o his_o cross_n for_o at_o least_o the_o time_n will_v certain_o come_v when_o he_o shall_v receive_v all_o his_o wage_n at_o one_o payment_n and_o let_v he_o never_o fear_v that_o his_o labour_n can_v possible_o be_v lose_v for_o he_o serve_v a_o very_a good_a master_n who_o stand_v look_v earnest_o upon_o he_o and_o let_v he_o make_v no_o account_n at_o all_o of_o ill_a thought_n but_o consider_v that_o the_o devil_n do_v also_o vex_v s._n hierome_n with_o they_o in_o the_o very_a wilderness_n but_o those_o labour_n have_v their_o price_n and_o recompense_n set_v out_o for_o they_o and_o i_o assure_v you_o as_o a_o person_n who_o have_v spend_v many_o year_n in_o the_o feel_n thereof_o that_o when_o sometime_o i_o come_v to_o draw_v and_o get_v but_o some_o one_o single_a drop_n of_o water_n out_o of_o this_o bless_a well_o i_o think_v that_o god_n do_v i_o a_o great_a favour_n i_o know_v well_o that_o these_o trouble_n be_v very_o great_a and_o i_o conceive_v that_o there_o be_v more_o need_n of_o courage_n for_o support_v they_o then_o for_o many_o other_o thing_n of_o this_o world_n but_o yet_o i_o have_v see_v clear_o that_o god_n leave_v they_o not_o without_o great_a reward_n even_o in_o this_o life_n for_o it_o be_v most_o certain_a that_o with_o one_o of_o these_o hour_n of_o gust_n of_o himself_o which_o he_o have_v give_v i_o here_o afterward_o i_o esteem_v all_o those_o sad_a affliction_n to_o have_v be_v very_o well_o reward_v which_o i_o sustain_v in_o all_o the_o former_a time_n of_o my_o continue_v the_o use_n of_o prayer_n as_o for_o i_o i_o hold_v that_o our_o lord_n will_v give_v these_o torment_n together_o with_o many_o other_o temptation_n which_o occur_v many_o time_n in_o the_o beginning_n and_o at_o other_o time_n towards_o the_o end_n to_o try_v who_o be_v his_o true_a lover_n and_o to_o know_v if_o they_o can_v drink_v of_o his_o chalice_n and_o will_v help_v he_o to_o bear_v his_o cross_n before_o he_o will_v depositate_fw-la so_o great_a treasure_n in_o they_o and_o i_o conceive_v that_o his_o divine_a majesty_n be_v resolve_v to_o carry_v we_o on_o by_o this_o way_n to_o the_o end_n that_o we_o may_v first_o understand_v well_o how_o little_a we_o be_v worth_a for_o the_o favour_n which_o sometime_o he_o impart_v afterward_o be_v of_o so_o great_a dignity_n that_o he_o will_v first_o have_v we_o see_v our_o misery_n by_o experience_n before_o he_o impart_v those_o great_a favour_n to_o we_o lest_o otherwise_o that_o shall_v happen_v to_o we_o which_o do_v to_o lucifer_n but_o what_o be_v it_o o_o my_o lord_n which_o thou_o be_v do_v be_v answer_v it_o not_o better_o for_o the_o good_a of_o that_o soul_n which_o thou_o know_v to_o be_v already_o thou_o and_o which_o put_v itself_o into_o thy_o hand_n to_o follow_v thou_o whithersoever_o thou_o will_v go_v though_o it_o be_v even_o to_o the_o very_a death_n of_o the_o cross_n and_o to_o resolve_v to_o help_v thou_o to_o carry_v it_o and_o never_o to_o leave_v thou_o alone_o under_o that_o burden_n no_o for_o whosoever_o find_v this_o resolution_n in_o himself_o have_v nothing_o leave_v for_o he_o to_o fear_v spiritual_a person_n have_v no_o reason_n at_o all_o to_o be_v afflict_v who_o be_v already_o place_v in_o so_o eminent_a condition_n as_o it_o be_v to_o treat_v with_o god_n hand_n to_o hand_n and_o to_o forsake_v the_o idle_a pastime_n of_o this_o world_n the_o great_a part_n of_o your_o business_n be_v dispatch_v already_o and_o praise_v you_o his_o divine_a majesty_n for_o the_o same_o and_o confide_v very_o full_o in_o his_o goodness_n for_o he_o never_o yet_o fail_v his_o friend_n shutup_a the_o eye_n of_o your_o mind_n from_o consider_v why_o he_o give_v sensible_a devotion_n to_o another_o in_o so_o few_o day_n and_o not_o to_o i_o in_o so_o many_o year_n let_v we_o believe_v and_o know_v that_o all_o this_o be_v do_v by_o he_o for_o our_o great_a good_a and_o let_v his_o divine_a majesty_n conduct_v we_o by_o what_o way_n he_o will_v for_o now_o we_o be_v no_o long_o our_o own_o but_o he_o and_o he_o do_v we_o favour_n enough_o in_o permit_v we_o to_o dig_v in_o his_o garden_n and_o to_o suffer_v we_o to_o be_v so_o near_o the_o lord_n thereof_o for_o it_o be_v certain_a that_o he_o remain_v with_o we_o and_o whether_o he_o be_v please_v that_o the_o plant_n and_o flower_n of_o his_o garden_n may_v grow_v or_o not_o grow_v either_o more_o or_o less_o what_o be_v that_o to_o the_o purpose_n do_v thou_o dispose_v so_o of_o thing_n o_o lord_n as_o shall_v please_v thou_o best_o and_o let_v i_o only_o not_o offend_v thou_o nor_o let_v my_o virtue_n be_v lose_v if_o thou_o have_v give_v i_o any_o i_o be_o resolve_v o_o lord_n to_o suffer_v since_o thou_o will_v suffer_v and_o thy_o will_n be_v accomplish_v in_o i_o in_o all_o kind_n and_o let_v not_o thy_o divine_a majesty_n be_v please_v that_o a_o thing_n of_o so_o high_a value_n as_o thy_o love_n may_v ever_o be_v give_v to_o any_o such_o people_n as_o will_v not_o serve_v thou_o but_o only_o for_o delight_n and_o gust_n it_o be_v here_o to_o be_v note_v much_o and_o i_o speak_v it_o because_o i_o know_v the_o truth_n of_o it_o by_o experience_n that_o the_o soul_n which_o begin_v to_o walk_v in_o this_o way_n of_o mental_a prayer_n with_o firm_a purpose_n &_o can_v bring_v herself_o once_o to_o a_o final_a resolution_n neither_o to_o be_v comfort_v nor_o discomfort_a great_o because_o our_o lord_n do_v either_o give_v or_o not_o give_v these_o spiritual_a gust_n or_o tenderness_n of_o devotion_n have_v already_o pass_v through_o a_o very_a great_a part_n of_o his_o way_n and_o let_v he_o not_o once_o think_v of_o turn_v back_o how_o much_o soever_o he_o may_v falter_v or_o stumble_v for_o his_o building_n be_v lay_v and_o ground_v upon_o
credo_fw-la though_o yet_o still_o not_o by_o way_n of_o discourse_n than_o we_o can_v tell_v how_o to_o understand_v with_o all_o our_o humane_a diligence_n of_o this_o world_n in_o the_o compass_n of_o many_o year_n but_o now_o to_o exercise_v and_o employ_v the_o power_n of_o the_o mind_n and_o yet_o the_o while_n to_o think_v of_o make_v they_o stand_v at_o a_o stay_n be_v a_o senseless_a kind_n of_o fancy_n and_o foolery_n and_o i_o say_v and_o say_v again_o though_o perhaps_o it_o be_v not_o well_o understand_v that_o this_o be_v no_o act_n of_o any_o great_a humility_n and_o though_o it_o shall_v not_o be_v guilty_a of_o be_v a_o fault_n yet_o it_o will_v not_o fail_v to_o be_v subject_a to_o the_o punishment_n for_o at_o least_o it_o will_v be_v all_o labour_n lose_v and_o the_o soul_n find_v itself_o to_o remain_v with_o a_o odd_a little_a kind_n of_o disgust_n as_o when_o a_o man_n go_v to_o leap_v when_o yet_o man_n hold_v he_o fast_o by_o the_o back_n for_o such_o a_o one_o seem_v already_o to_o have_v employ_v all_o his_o strength_n to_o do_v somewhat_o which_o he_o desire_v and_o yet_o find_v himself_o without_o effect_v what_o he_o pretend_v and_o so_o whosoever_o will_v consider_v the_o matter_n well_o shall_v come_v to_o discern_v by_o the_o slender_a gain_n which_o he_o make_v this_o little_a half_a invisible_a dust_n of_o the_o want_n of_o humility_n whereof_o i_o speak_v for_o in_o fine_a this_o virtue_n have_v that_o excellency_n among_o other_o in_o it_o that_o there_o be_v no_o work_n or_o action_n in_o the_o world_n if_o it_o be_v accompany_v with_o that_o virtue_n which_o will_v ever_o leave_v the_o soul_n in_o disgust_n there_o be_v diverse_a truth_n year_n when_o i_o be_v wont_a to_o read_v many_o thing_n and_o yet_o understand_v none_o of_o they_o all_o and_o there_o be_v afterward_o also_o a_o long_a time_n when_o though_o god_n give_v i_o ability_n to_o understand_v yet_o can_v i_o not_o speak_v a_o word_n wherewith_o to_o make_v it_o be_v understand_v by_o other_o and_o this_o point_n cost_v i_o no_o small_a labour_n but_o when_o his_o divine_a majesty_n have_v a_o mind_n to_o teach_v it_o he_o do_v it_o so_o &_o all_o at_o a_o instant_n that_o i_o be_o amaze_v and_o one_o thing_n i_o can_v say_v with_o much_o truth_n that_o though_o i_o speak_v with_o many_o spiritual_a person_n who_o have_v a_o mind_n to_o make_v i_o understand_v what_o our_o lord_n impart_v to_o i_o that_o so_o i_o may_v the_o better_o declare_v thing_n in_o particular_a and_o clear_a manner_n to_o they_o it_o be_v certain_a that_o my_o dulness_n be_v so_o great_a as_o that_o their_o discourse_n be_v not_o of_o any_o use_n to_o i_o at_o all_o and_o perhaps_o our_o bless_a lord_n as_o his_o divine_a majesty_n vouchsafe_v still_o to_o be_v my_o master_n &_o let_v he_o be_v bless_v for_o ever_o since_o it_o be_v confusion_n enough_o for_o i_o to_o be_v able_a to_o say_v thus_o much_o with_o truth_n be_v please_v that_o i_o shall_v have_v no_o body_n to_o thank_v for_o it_o but_o himself_o and_o that_o without_o my_o desire_v or_o even_o wish_v it_o for_o in_o this_o i_o be_v not_o a_o whitt_n curious_a wherein_o it_o may_v have_v be_v a_o virtue_n to_o be_v so_o but_o i_o be_v so_o about_o the_o vanity_n of_o the_o world_n he_o will_v give_v i_o to_o understand_v and_o comprehend_v it_o with_o all_o claritie_n yea_o and_o so_o as_o that_o i_o can_v unfold_v it_o also_o to_o other_o in_o such_o sort_n as_o that_o man_n be_v amaze_v at_o it_o and_o myself_o more_o than_o any_o of_o my_o ghostly_a father_n because_o i_o understand_v i_o own_o dulness_n better_a than_o they_o nor_o be_v it_o any_o long_a time_n since_o this_o happen_v to_o i_o and_o so_o i_o procure_v not_o to_o know_v those_o thing_n which_o our_o lord_n have_v not_o teach_v i_o but_o i_o only_o consider_v and_o take_v care_n of_o they_o so_o far_o as_o whereby_o my_o conscience_n may_v be_v concern_v i_o return_v yet_o once_o again_o to_o advise_v and_o declare_v that_o it_o will_v import_v we_o very_o much_o not_o to_o error_n elevate_v and_o raise_v our_o spirit_n unless_o our_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o elevate_v and_o raise_v it_o which_o if_o he_o do_v it_o will_v instant_o be_v understand_v and_o especial_o this_o be_v more_o dangerous_a for_o woman_n for_o the_o devil_n may_v bring_v some_o illusion_n upon_o they_o though_o yet_o withal_o i_o hold_v it_o for_o very_o certain_a that_o our_o lord_n will_v not_o permit_v that_o the_o devil_n shall_v be_v able_a to_o hurt_v any_o such_o person_n as_o shall_v procure_v to_o approach_v his_o divine_a majesty_n with_o humility_n but_o rather_o that_o he_o shall_v be_v able_a to_o give_v himself_o more_o advantage_n and_o profit_n by_o that_o whereby_o the_o devil_n mean_v to_o destroy_v he_o but_o now_o in_o regard_n that_o this_o way_n of_o beginner_n in_o the_o exercise_n of_o mental_a prayer_n be_v more_o beat_v and_o because_o the_o admonition_n which_o i_o have_v give_v import_n much_o i_o have_v enlarge_v myself_o thus_o far_o though_o yet_o other_o will_v certain_o have_v write_v much_o better_a of_o it_o but_o thus_o much_o do_v i_o confess_v and_o i_o have_v express_v myself_o herein_o with_o abundance_n of_o confusion_n and_o shame_n though_o yet_o still_o not_o with_o so_o much_o as_o i_o ought_v to_o have_v have_v let_v our_o lord_n be_v ever_o bless_v for_o all_o since_o he_o permit_v and_o be_v please_v that_o so_o miserable_a a_o creature_n as_o i_o shall_v speak_v of_o thing_n belong_v to_o his_o divine_a majesty_n and_o those_o thing_n such_o and_o so_o high_a the_o thirteen_o chapter_n she_o proceed_v in_o this_o first_o degree_n and_o state_n of_o prayer_n and_o give_v advice_n against_o some_o temptation_n which_o the_o devil_n be_v sometime_o wont_a to_o bring_v this_o discourse_n be_v very_o profitable_a i_o have_v think_v fit_a to_o speak_v here_o of_o certain_a temptation_n which_o i_o have_v find_v to_o be_v bring_v against_o some_o in_o their_o beginning_n to_o use_v mental_a prayer_n and_o some_o i_o have_v feel_v myself_o and_o i_o will_v also_o give_v some_o advice_n which_o i_o hold_v to_o be_v necessary_a herein_o let_v therefore_o a_o saint_n beginner_n procure_v to_o goeon_a with_o great_a alacrity_n and_o liberty_n of_o spirit_n for_o there_o be_v some_o who_o be_v apt_a to_o think_v that_o all_o their_o devotion_n be_v instant_o to_o vanish_v if_o they_o do_v never_o so_o little_a amiss_o therein_o it_o be_v true_a that_o it_o will_v be_v very_o fit_a to_o continue_v in_o a_o holy_a doubt_n and_o fear_v of_o themselves_o that_o so_o they_o may_v not_o be_v confident_a at_o all_o to_o put_v themselves_o into_o any_o occasion_n wherein_o our_o lord_n be_v wont_a to_o be_v offend_v for_o it_o will_v ever_o be_v very_o necessary_a to_o use_v this_o actual_a diligence_n till_o one_o be_v very_o entire_a in_o the_o possession_n of_o virtue_n and_o there_o be_v not_o many_o who_o may_v be_v so_o very_o confident_a of_o themselves_o as_o that_o in_o such_o occasion_n which_o have_v well_o conformity_n with_o their_o natural_a disposition_n and_o inclination_n they_o may_v be_v out_o of_o care_n and_o fear_n and_o in_o fine_a it_o will_v ever_o be_v fit_a that_o so_o long_o as_o we_o shall_v live_v in_o this_o world_n we_o consider_v our_o miserable_a nature_n though_o it_o be_v but_o even_o for_o the_o continual_a exercise_n of_o humility_n but_o there_o be_v many_o time_n when_o it_o be_v permit_v as_o i_o have_v say_v to_o be_v take_v recreation_n though_o it_o be_v but_o to_o enable_v we_o the_o better_a to_o return_v the_o more_o encourage_v and_o fortify_v towards_o the_o make_n of_o prayer_n in_o all_o thing_n it_o will_v ever_o be_v needful_a to_o use_v discretion_n and_o withal_o to_o have_v great_a confidence_n in_o god_n for_o it_o be_v by_o no_o mean_n fit_a to_o go_v lessen_v &_o diminish_v our_o desire_n but_o to_o believe_v of_o almighty_a god_n that_o if_o we_o will_v endeavour_v earnest_o by_o little_a and_o little_a we_o may_v by_o the_o favour_n of_o his_o divine_a majesty_n arrive_v though_o it_o be_v not_o present_o where_o many_o saint_n have_v arrive_v who_o if_o they_o have_v never_o resolve_v to_o aspire_v to_o perfection_n and_o have_v not_o also_o endeavour_v by_o little_a and_o little_a to_o acquire_v it_o will_v never_o have_v be_v able_a to_o obtain_v so_o high_a a_o state_n his_o divine_a majesty_n be_v a_o very_a great_a friend_n and_o favourer_n of_o hart_n courageous_a soul_n so_o that_o withal_o they_o proceed_v with_o humility_n &_o not_o with_o any_o confidence_n in_o themselves_o and_o i_o have_v yet_o never_o see_v any_o one_o of_o this_o kind_n who_o have_v
continue_v to_o remain_v in_o a_o very_a inferior_a degree_n in_o this_o way_n nor_o never_o also_o any_o one_o cowardly_a soul_n though_o yet_o withal_o it_o have_v the_o safeguard_n of_o humility_n which_o be_v able_a to_o make_v so_o much_o way_n in_o many_o year_n as_o i_o have_v find_v those_o other_o do_v in_o very_a few_o i_o be_o even_o amaze_v when_o i_o consider_v how_o much_o it_o work_v in_o this_o kind_n for_o one_o to_o animate_v himself_o towards_o the_o do_n of_o great_a thing_n though_o instant_o he_o may_v perhaps_o not_o have_v force_n where_o with_o to_o perform_v for_o the_o soul_n put_v herself_o to_o make_v a_o flight_n and_o arrive_v to_o be_v in_o a_o high_a place_n though_o yet_o like_o some_o young_a bird_n she_o be_v not_o so_o well_o feather_v yet_o and_o therefore_o as_o be_v weary_a she_o can_v but_o pause_v and_o hover_v in_o former_a time_n i_o often_o remember_v and_o consider_v what_o s._n paul_n affirm_v of_o himself_o namely_o that_o he_o can_v do_v all_o thing_n in_o god_n who_o comfort_v he_o for_o as_o for_o i_o i_o know_v well_o that_o i_o can_v do_v nothing_o of_o myself_o but_o that_o say_v of_o his_o do_v i_o very_o much_o good_a &_o so_o also_o do_v this_o other_o of_o s._n augustin_n give_v i_o o_o lord_n what_o thou_o command_v and_o then_o command_v i_o what_o thou_o will_v and_o for_o my_o part_n i_o think_v also_o many_o time_n that_o s._n peter_n have_v lose_v nothing_o by_o the_o bargain_n when_o he_o cast_v himself_o headlong_o into_o the_o sea_n though_o yet_o he_o be_v afraid_a afterward_o in_o a_o word_n these_o first_o strong_a purpose_n and_o resolution_n be_v a_o great_a matter_n though_o yet_o in_o this_o first_o degree_n and_o state_n it_o be_v fit_a that_o we_o go_v detain_v ourselves_o and_o hold_v ourselves_o fast_o tie_v to_o the_o discretion_n and_o dispose_v of_o a_o director_n but_o then_o we_o must_v procure_v that_o he_o may_v be_v such_o a_o one_o as_o will_v not_o teach_v we_o to_o leap_v heavy_o and_o dull_o like_o certain_a toad_n nor_o be_v content_a that_o our_o soul_n dispose_v themselves_o to_o hunt_v those_o little_a weak_a beast_n call_v lizard_n only_a humility_n must_v ever_o go_v before_o that_o so_o we_o may_v besure_n to_o understand_v that_o this_o strength_n do_v not_o grow_v from_o ourselves_o but_o here_o it_o will_v be_v necessary_a for_o we_o to_o know_v what_o kind_n of_o humility_n this_o of_o we_o must_v be_v and_o i_o be_o very_o apt_a to_o think_v that_o the_o devil_n do_v much_o hurt_n towards_o the_o make_n such_o as_o exercise_v prayer_n not_o to_o advance_v themselves_o very_o much_o in_o their_o way_n by_o cause_v they_o to_o mis-understand_v humility_n and_o by_o procure_v to_o make_v we_o believe_v that_o it_o be_v but_o a_o kind_n of_o pride_n to_o have_v heroical_a desire_n and_o to_o pretend_v to_o imitate_v saint_n and_o to_o desire_v to_o be_v martyr_n for_o upon_o this_o he_o tell_v we_o and_o make_v we_o think_v that_o the_o action_n of_o saint_n be_v fit_a to_o be_v admire_v but_o not_o to_o be_v imitate_v by_o we_o who_o be_v sinner_n this_o do_v i_o also_o say_v as_o well_o as_o he_o only_o we_o must_v consider_v what_o in_o particular_a be_v fit_a for_o admire_v admiration_n and_o what_o for_o imitation_n for_o it_o will_v be_v no_o way_n convenient_a that_o a_o person_n who_o be_v sick_a and_o weak_a shall_v put_v himself_o upon_o great_a fast_n and_o sharp_a pennance_n or_o shall_v betake_v himself_o to_o the_o wilderness_n where_o he_o may_v neither_o be_v able_a to_o sleep_v nor_o yet_o can_v get_v what_o to_o eat_v or_o the_o like_a but_o yet_o we_o ought_v to_o think_v that_o we_o may_v well_o endeavour_v earnest_o by_o god_n favour_n to_o hold_v the_o world_n in_o great_a contempt_n and_o not_o to_o esteem_v earthly_a honour_n and_o not_o to_o remain_v tyed-up_a to_o the_o care_n of_o riches_n but_o we_o real_o have_v heart_n so_o very_o poor_a and_o straight_o that_o it_o seem_v to_o we_o as_o if_o we_o can_v not_o have_v ground_n enough_o to_o go_v upon_o if_o once_o we_o shall_v lay_v the_o care_n of_o our_o body_n never_o so_o little_a aside_o to_o give_v it_o to_o the_o soul_n it_o seem_v therefore_o here_o already_o that_o even_o for_o the_o better_a enjoy_n of_o recollection_n it_o will_v be_v good_a that_o we_o be_v in_o no_o want_n of_o necessary_a thing_n for_o any_o kind_n of_o care_n will_v be_v able_a to_o disquiet_v man_n in_o prayer_n and_o i_o be_o hearty_o sorry_a that_o we_o shall_v have_v so_o little_a confidence_n in_o god_n and_o so_o much_o love_n of_o ourselves_o as_o that_o we_o shall_v be_v disquiet_v by_o this_o thought_n but_o the_o truth_n be_v that_o wheresoever_o man_n have_v make_v so_o small_a progress_n as_o this_o in_o the_o way_n of_o spirit_n certain_a foolery_n will_v trouble_v some_o as_o much_o as_o great_a and_o more_o substantial_a matter_n will_v do_v other_o and_o yet_o still_o in_o our_o way_n of_o understanding_n we_o will_v needs_o presume_v ourselves_o to_o be_v spiritual_a person_n it_o seem_v to_o i_o that_o this_o kind_n of_o way_n of_o proceed_v show_v a_o desire_n in_o they_o to_o put_v the_o body_n and_o mind_n into_o such_o a_o concurrence_n and_o correspondence_n as_o that_o we_o will_v fain_o find_v mean_n to_o take_v our_o ease_n in_o this_o world_n and_o yet_o enjoy_v god_n in_o the_o next_o and_o that_o conceit_n will_v prove_v to_o be_v true_a if_o we_o live_v according_a to_o justice_n and_o continue_v to_o stick_v close_o to_o virtue_n but_o yet_o still_o this_o be_v but_o the_o pace_n of_o a_o henn_n and_o it_o will_v never_o be_v able_a to_o bring_v we_o on_o to_o enjoy_v true_a liberty_n of_o spirit_n this_o seem_v indeed_o to_o be_v a_o good_a way_n of_o proceed_v for_o such_o as_o be_v in_o state_n of_o marriage_n who_o be_v to_o carry_v themselves_o according_a to_o their_o vocation_n but_o for_o any_o other_o state_n then_o that_o i_o do_v by_o no_o mean_n desire_n any_o such_o kind_n of_o profit_v in_o spirit_n as_o this_o nor_o shall_v they_o ever_o make_v i_o believe_v that_o it_o be_v a_o good_a one_o for_o i_o have_v try_v it_o long_o enough_o and_o i_o have_v ever_o continue_v in_o that_o way_n if_o our_o lord_n through_o his_o infinite_a goodness_n have_v not_o show_v i_o another_o and_o a_o short_a cut_n though_o yet_o withal_o it_o be_v true_a that_o i_o have_v ever_o great_a desire_n but_o i_o procure_v as_o i_o have_v say_v to_o use_v prayer_n though_o yet_o still_o to_o live_v withal_o at_o my_o pleasure_n but_o real_o i_o conceive_v that_o if_o any_o body_n will_v have_v encourage_v i_o to_o fly_v a_o high_a pitch_n i_o shall_v have_v strive_v hard_o to_o make_v those_o desire_n prove_v deed_n but_o alas_o it_o be_v true_a that_o through_o our_o sin_n there_o be_v so_o very_a few_o and_o may_v so_o quick_o be_v count_v who_o have_v any_o more_o discretion_n then_o be_v necessary_a for_o such_o occurrence_n as_o these_o that_o i_o believe_v it_o be_v a_o great_a part_n of_o the_o cause_n why_o such_o as_o be_v beginner_n can_v get_v no_o fast_o on_o towards_o great_a perfection_n for_o our_o lord_n do_v never_o fail_v on_o his_o part_n but_o it_o be_v we_o who_o be_v still_o the_o faulty_a and_o miserable_a creature_n they_o may_v also_o be_v able_a to_o imitate_v the_o saint_n in_o procure_v to_o use_v solitude_n and_o keep_v silence_n and_o to_o exercise_v many_o other_o virtue_n which_o will_v yet_o by_o no_o mean_n murder_v this_o miserable_a body_n which_o they_o desire_v to_o preserve_v with_o such_o curiosity_n &_o care_n though_o it_o shall_v turn_v to_o the_o disorder_n of_o the_o soul_n and_o now_o the_o devil_n be_v careful_a enough_o to_o help_v to_o render_v we_o the_o more_o unable_a for_o when_o he_o see_v but_o a_o little_a inordinate_a fear_n he_o desire_v no_o more_o then_o to_o make_v we_o apprehend_v that_o every_o thing_n will_v be_v apt_a to_o kill_v we_o or_o at_o least_o to_o deprive_v we_o of_o our_o health_n yea_o and_o if_o we_o be_v accustom_v to_o have_v tear_n he_o will_v put_v we_o into_o a_o fear_n that_o we_o shall_v be_v blind_a myself_o have_v pass_v by_o this_o walk_n &_o therefore_o i_o know_v it_o and_o i_o know_v withal_o that_o i_o can_v tell_v what_o better_a kind_n of_o life_n or_o health_n we_o can_v possible_o desire_v then_o to_o loose_v they_o both_o upon_o such_o a_o occasion_n myself_o be_v so_o sickly_a as_o i_o be_v till_o i_o resolve_v to_o make_v no_o account_n at_o all_o of_o my_o health_n and_o of_o my_o body_n be_v ever_o tie_v up_o and_o be_v good_a for_o nothing_o and_o even_o now_o it_o be_v
very_o little_a which_o i_o can_v do_v but_o yet_o as_o soon_o as_o our_o lord_n be_v please_v that_o i_o shall_v understand_v this_o deceit_n and_o trick_n of_o the_o devil_n if_o he_o object_v to_o i_o my_o loss_n of_o health_n i_o tell_v he_o it_o import_v little_a that_o i_o must_v die_v if_o he_o tempt_v i_o with_o love_n of_o rest_n and_o ease_n i_o tell_v he_o that_o it_o be_v not_o ease_v which_o i_o need_v now_o but_o the_o sufferance_n of_o a_o cross_n and_o so_o also_o in_o other_o thing_n for_o i_o see_v clear_o that_o in_o very_a many_o it_o be_v either_o a_o temptation_n of_o the_o devil_n or_o my_o own_o lazine_n though_o yet_o in_o very_a deed_n i_o be_v sickly_a enough_o but_o howsoever_o i_o now_o enjoy_v much_o better_a health_n since_o i_o be_o not_o so_o very_o curious_a and_o dainty_a as_o i_o be_v than_o i_o do_v before_o and_o it_o be_v therefore_o of_o great_a importance_n for_o they_o who_o begin_v to_o hold_v mental_a prayer_n that_o they_o do_v not_o subtilise_v too_o much_o with_o their_o thought_n and_o let_v they_o believe_v i_o herein_o for_o i_o know_v it_o by_o experience_n and_o perhaps_o it_o may_v be_v of_o good_a use_n for_o i_o to_o recount_v my_o fault_n that_o so_o other_o may_v take_v warning_n by_o i_o there_o be_v also_o another_o temptation_n and_o it_o be_v very_o usual_a to_o desire_v forsooth_o that_o every_o body_n may_v grow_v to_o be_v very_o spiritual_a when_o once_o themselves_o begin_v to_o taste_v of_o this_o great_a quiet_a &_o how_o much_o be_v to_o be_v gain_v by_o this_o mean_n it_o be_v not_o a_o ill_a thing_n to_o desire_v it_o but_o to_o procure_v it_o may_v peradventure_o not_o be_v good_a unless_o much_o discretion_n and_o as_o it_o be_v dissimulation_n be_v use_v in_o do_v it_o so_o as_o that_o they_o seem_v not_o to_o take_v upon_o they_o to_o teach_v for_o such_o as_o will_v procure_v to_o do_v good_a upon_o their_o neighbour_n in_o such_o case_n as_o this_o have_v need_n have_v their_o own_o virtue_n very_o strong_a lest_o else_o they_o breed_v temptation_n for_o other_o it_o happen_v just_a thus_o to_o i_o and_o therefore_o i_o understand_v it_o that_o when_o as_o i_o be_v say_v i_o procure_v that_o other_o may_v use_v mental_a prayer_n and_o on_o the_o one_o side_n they_o hear_v i_o speak_v of_o high_a matter_n and_o of_o the_o great_a benefit_n which_o it_o bring_v to_o use_v that_o exercise_n and_o when_o they_o see_v on_o the_o other_o how_o very_o poor_a i_o be_v in_o point_n of_o virtue_n i_o occasion_v they_o to_o be_v tempt_v and_o disorder_v and_o they_o be_v so_o with_o reason_n enough_o and_o themselves_o tell_v i_o as_o much_o afterward_o for_o they_o know_v not_o how_o it_o be_v possible_a for_o one_o of_o those_o thing_n to_o be_v compatible_a with_o the_o other_o and_o it_o cause_v they_o not_o to_o think_v that_o to_o be_v ill_a which_o yet_o indeed_o be_v so_o because_o forsooth_o they_o see_v i_o do_v it_o sometime_o when_o they_o hold_v a_o good_a opinion_n of_o i_o and_o this_o do_v the_o devil_n effect_n who_o it_o seem_v can_v serve_v his_o turn_n even_o of_o the_o virtue_n which_o we_o have_v that_o so_o he_o may_v the_o better_a grow_v to_o authorise_v the_o mischief_n which_o he_o desire_v to_o do_v we_o and_o how_o little_a soever_o that_o be_v in_o itself_o yet_o when_o that_o be_v do_v in_o a_o community_n he_o gain_v very_o much_o by_o the_o bargain_n and_o how_o much_o more_o when_o that_o which_o i_o do_v ill_a be_v very_o ill_o and_o so_o in_o many_o year_n there_o be_v only_o three_o person_n who_o take_v benefit_n by_o what_o i_o tell_v they_o and_o when_o our_o lord_n be_v already_o please_v to_o bestow_v more_o strength_n of_o virtue_n upon_o i_o they_o be_v many_o who_o profit_v by_o i_o even_o in_o two_o or_o three_o year_n as_o i_o will_v show_v afterward_o beside_o there_o be_v this_o other_o great_a inconvenience_n that_o the_o soul_n lose_v her_o progress_n in_o virtue_n for_o the_o chief_n thing_n which_o she_o be_v to_o procure_v at_o first_o be_v only_o to_o take_v care_n of_o herself_o alone_o and_o to_o make_v account_n that_o there_o be_v not_o in_o the_o whole_a world_n any_o one_o thing_n but_o god_n and_o she._n and_o this_o be_v a_o certain_a point_n which_o import_v the_o same_o soul_n very_o much_o there_o be_v also_o yet_o another_o temptation_n and_o all_o such_o as_o this_o show_v themselves_o ever_o with_o a_o kind_n of_o zeal_n of_o virtue_n and_o they_o be_v fit_a to_o be_v understand_v and_o that_o we_o walk_v with_o much_o circumspection_n and_o this_o be_v a_o trouble_n which_o man_n receive_v from_o the_o defect_n and_o fault_n which_o they_o discern_v in_o other_o for_o the_o devil_n procure_v to_o make_v we_o believe_v that_o this_o grief_n be_v entertain_v by_o we_o but_o only_o because_o we_o will_v nor_o have_v they_o offend_v almighty_a god_n and_o that_o forsooth_o we_o be_v trouble_v because_o his_o honour_n be_v interest_v thereby_o and_o than_o it_o come_v present_o in_o that_o we_o will_v fain_o procure_v to_o redress_v it_o and_o this_o care_n disquiet_v we_o so_o much_o that_o it_o hinder_v our_o prayer_n yea_o and_o the_o great_a mischief_n of_o all_o be_v that_o we_o think_v that_o this_o be_v virtue_n and_o perfection_n and_o great_a zeal_n of_o god_n service_n i_o speak_v not_o of_o those_o affliction_n which_o public_a sin_n must_v give_v when_o they_o be_v usual_o commit_v by_o a_o community_n or_o when_o they_o grow_v to_o be_v of_o prejudice_n to_o the_o church_n as_o these_o heresy_n do_v whereby_o we_o find_v so_o many_o soul_n to_o be_v lose_v for_o this_o be_v a_o very_a good_a affliction_n and_o trouble_v and_o in_o regard_n that_o it_o be_v so_o good_a it_o disorder_v not_o and_o disturb_v not_o he_o who_o have_v it_o but_o well_o the_o secure_a way_n for_o that_o soul_n which_o desire_v to_o give_v itself_o to_o prayer_n be_v to_o seek_v to_o forget_v both_o all_o thing_n and_o all_o person_n and_o to_o attend_v to_o keep_v all_o reckon_n straight_o with_o herself_o and_o so_o to_o give_v contentment_n to_o almighty_a god_n now_o this_o be_v both_o very_a convenient_a and_o important_a and_o if_o i_o shall_v stand_v to_o tell_v you_o what_o error_n i_o have_v see_v fallout_a to_o be_v commit_v upon_o the_o confidence_n which_o man_n have_v put_v in_o their_o good_a intention_n i_o shall_v never_o make_v a_o end_n let_v we_o therefore_o always_o procure_v to_o consider_v the_o virtue_n and_o good_a work_n which_o we_o shall_v discern_v in_o other_o and_o to_o shut_v our_o eye_n from_o see_v their_o defect_n by_o the_o consideration_n of_o our_o own_o great_a sin_n now_o this_o be_v a_o kind_n of_o work_v wherein_o though_o we_o arrive_v not_o instant_o to_o do_v it_o with_o perfection_n yet_o we_o come_v thereby_o to_o gain_v a_o great_a virtue_n which_o be_v to_o hold_v every_o body_n better_o than_o ourselves_o and_o we_o begin_v to_o get_v it_o through_o the_o favour_n of_o almighty_a god_n whereof_o we_o have_v need_n in_o all_o thing_n for_o whensoever_o that_o be_v want_v to_o we_o all_o other_o diligence_n serve_v to_o little_a purpose_n and_o we_o must_v therefore_o humble_o pray_v he_o to_o bestow_v this_o grace_n upon_o we_o wherein_o certain_o he_o will_v not_o be_v want_v if_o we_o be_v as_o careful_a as_o we_o ought_v let_v they_o also_o consider_v well_o of_o this_o advice_n who_o use_v to_o discourse_n much_o with_o the_o understanding_n and_o have_v power_n to_o draw_v many_o consideration_n and_o conceit_n out_o of_o some_o one_o for_o as_o for_o they_o who_o be_v not_o able_a to_o work_v with_o this_o faculty_n as_o i_o can_v not_o there_o be_v no_o cause_n of_o give_v they_o this_o advice_n but_o only_o that_o they_o will_v be_v content_a to_o have_v patience_n till_o our_o lord_n shall_v be_v please_v to_o help_v they_o to_o matter_n upon_o which_o to_o work_v and_o light_n where_o with_o to_o know_v how_o to_o do_v it_o since_o they_o be_v able_a to_o perform_v so_o little_a for_o themselves_o as_o that_o their_o understanding_n part_n do_v rather_o give_v they_o trouble_v than_o help_n but_o return_v now_o to_o such_o other_o as_o be_v able_a to_o serve_v themselves_o of_o discourse_n they_o must_v take_v care_n that_o their_o whole_a time_n be_v not_o spend_v in_o that_o for_o howsoever_o it_o be_v very_o meritorious_a yet_o conconsider_v how_o savoury_a a_o thing_n they_o conceive_v that_o mental_a prayer_n shall_v be_v they_o fear_v that_o they_o shall_v never_o live_v to_o see_v sunday_n nor_o any_o season_n wherein_o they_o be_v not_o to_o labour_v and_o drudge_n and_o therefore_o they_o present_o think_v that_o
but_o as_o for_o beginner_n learned_a man_n if_o they_o possess_v not_o the_o use_n of_o prayer_n can_v be_v of_o little_a profit_n to_o they_o yet_o i_o say_v not_o that_o they_o shall_v not_o treat_v and_o confer_v with_o such_o man_n as_o be_v learned_a for_o as_o for_o have_v a_o spirit_n which_o shall_v not_o be_v first_o settle_v in_o a_o way_n of_o truth_n for_o my_o part_n i_o have_v rather_o have_v it_o without_o prayer_n for_o learning_n be_v a_o great_a matter_n since_o it_o instruct_v we_o who_o know_v little_a and_o bring_v we_o light_a and_o when_o we_o approach_v near_o to_o the_o truth_n of_o holy_a scripture_n we_o begin_v to_o do_v that_o which_o we_o ought_v but_o as_o for_o silly_a and_o foolish_a devotion_n our_o lord_n deliver_v we_o from_o they_o i_o will_v declare_v myself_o yet_o better_a for_o i_o fear_v i_o put_v myself_o upon_o too_o many_o thing_n at_o once_o though_o i_o ever_o want_v mean_n to_o know_v how_o to_o give_v myself_o to_o be_v well_o understand_v as_o i_o have_v say_v but_o upon_o the_o expense_n of_o many_o word_n a_o religious_a woman_n for_o example_n sake_n will_v begin_v to_o use_v prayer_n and_o in_o case_n some_o silly_a kind_n of_o man_n direct_v and_o govern_v she_o he_o will_v if_o the_o toy_n take_v he_o in_o the_o head_n give_v she_o to_o understand_v that_o it_o be_v better_a for_o she_o to_o obey_v he_o than_o her_o superior_a yea_o and_o he_o will_v do_v it_o without_o any_o malice_n at_o all_o as_o conceave_a that_o he_o be_v in_o the_o right_n and_o now_o she_o be_v a_o religious_a woman_n will_v be_v likely_a enough_o to_o think_v that_o he_o say_v true_a and_o if_o she_o be_v a_o marry_a woman_n he_o will_v tell_v she_o that_o it_o be_v best_o for_o she_o even_o when_o she_o ought_v to_o be_v about_o her_o household_n business_n to_o exercise_v herself_o in_o prayer_n though_o it_o be_v to_o be_v to_o the_o disgust_n of_o her_o husband_n so_o that_o she_o know_v not_o how_o to_o dispose_v of_o her_o time_n nor_o of_o her_o business_n in_o such_o sort_n as_o that_o all_o may_v go_v according_a to_o reason_n and_o truth_n because_o in_o fine_a that_o directour_n want_v light_a and_o not_o have_v any_o himself_o he_o can_v give_v it_o to_o other_o though_o he_o will_v never_o so_o fain_o and_o though_o in_o order_n to_o this_o end_n it_o seem_v that_o there_o be_v no_o great_a need_n of_o learning_n yet_o as_o for_o i_o my_o opinion_n both_o be_v and_o ever_o will_v be_v that_o all_o christian_n shall_v do_v well_o to_o treat_v with_o such_o man_n about_o their_o soul_n as_o be_v well_o learned_a and_o so_o much_o the_o more_o so_o much_o the_o better_o and_o they_o who_o go_v by_o the_o way_n of_o prayer_n have_v yet_o more_o need_n than_o other_o to_o meet_v with_o such_o man_n and_o so_o the_o more_o they_o shall_v be_v also_o spiritual_a the_o better_a will_v it_o be_v for_o they_o still_o and_o let_v not_o folk_n deceive_v themselves_o with_o say_v that_o learned_a man_n without_o the_o exercise_n of_o prayer_n be_v not_o to_o the_o purpose_n for_o they_o who_o use_v prayer_n for_o i_o have_v deal_v with_o many_o and_o for_o some_o of_o these_o latter_a year_n i_o have_v endeavour_v it_o the_o more_o because_o then_o i_o find_v myself_o in_o more_o necessity_n but_o i_o be_v ever_o much_o a_o friend_n of_o learned_a man_n for_o though_o some_o of_o they_o have_v not_o experience_n yet_o they_o hate_v not_o spiritual_a people_n nor_o be_v not_o ignorant_a what_o these_o thing_n mean_v because_o they_o ever_o find_v this_o truth_n that_o there_o be_v such_o a_o thing_n as_o a_o good_a spirit_n by_o holy_a scripture_n wherein_o they_o be_v continual_o verse_v and_o as_o for_o i_o i_o hold_v that_o a_o person_n who_o exercise_n prayer_n and_o will_v treat_v with_o learned_a man_n shall_v never_o be_v deceive_v by_o illusion_n of_o the_o devil_n if_o he_o have_v not_o a_o mind_n to_o deceive_v himself_o for_o i_o believe_v that_o the_o devil_n be_v mighty_o afraid_a of_o learning_n whensoever_o it_o be_v accompany_v with_o humility_n and_o virtue_n for_o he_o know_v that_o he_o shall_v be_v discover_v in_o the_o end_n and_o that_o so_o he_o shall_v come_v to_o loose_v by_o the_o bargain_n and_o now_o i_o have_v say_v thus_o much_o because_o i_o know_v there_o be_v opinion_n that_o learned_a man_n be_v not_o fit_a for_o person_n of_o prayer_n unless_o they_o be_v also_o of_o spirit_n already_o i_o have_v signify_v that_o it_o will_v be_v necessary_a to_o have_v a_o spiritual_a director_n but_o if_o he_o prove_v not_o to_o be_v learn_v the_o inconvenience_n will_v be_v great_a &_o yet_o it_o will_v be_v of_o much_o help_n to_o treat_v with_o learned_a man_n so_o that_o they_o be_v virtuous_a for_o though_o they_o be_v not_o spiritual_a as_o in_o this_o case_n we_o understand_v spiritual_a they_o will_v yet_o be_v able_a to_o benefit_v we_o and_o god_n will_v vouchsafe_v to_o enable_v they_o to_o teach_v we_o yea_o and_o so_o may_v perhaps_o by_o degree_n grow_v even_o to_o make_v they_o also_o become_v spiritual_a to_o the_o end_n that_o they_o may_v be_v able_a to_o instruct_v we_o the_o better_a and_o i_o speak_v not_o this_o without_o some_o trial_n for_o the_o occasion_n have_v happen_v to_o i_o with_o more_o then_z two_o i_o say_v therefore_o that_o if_o a_o soul_n resolve_v to_o render_v itself_o to_o be_v entire_o subject_a to_o the_o order_n of_o any_o one_o director_n she_o shall_v err_v very_o much_o unless_o she_o procure_v in_o particular_a manner_n that_o he_o be_v learned_a especial_o if_o he_o be_v a_o religious_a man_n of_o any_o order_n because_o such_o a_o one_o be_v to_o be_v subject_a to_o his_o prelate_n or_o superior_a and_o in_o that_o case_n peradventure_o all_o those_o three_o aforesaid_a part_n which_o be_v say_v to_o be_v so_o necessary_a for_o a_o director_n will_v be_v want_v to_o he_o which_o will_v be_v no_o little_a cross_n to_o the_o party_n beside_o that_o he_o may_v perhaps_o find_v himself_o to_o have_v voluntary_o submit_v his_o understanding_n to_o that_o of_o another_o man_n who_o have_v no_o very_a good_a one_o himself_o at_o least_o forasmuch_o as_o concern_v i_o i_o be_v never_o able_a to_o bring_v myself_o to_o it_o nor_o indeed_o do_v i_o hold_v it_o convenient_a but_o now_o if_o the_o party_n of_o who_o we_o speak_v be_v a_o secular_a person_n let_v he_o bless_v almighty_a god_n that_o himself_o may_v make_v choice_n of_o that_o man_n to_o who_o he_o will_v resolve_v to_o subject_v himself_o and_o let_v he_o take_v care_n not_o to_o loose_v this_o virtuous_a liberty_n nay_o let_v he_o even_o stay_v without_o any_o director_n at_o all_o till_o he_o find_v a_o fit_a one_o for_o our_o lord_n will_v not_o fail_v to_o provide_v he_o such_o a_o one_o if_o he_o go_v whole_o ground_v in_o humility_n and_o with_o desire_n to_o make_v a_o fit_a choice_n for_o my_o part_n i_o praise_v a_o fit_a director_n very_o much_o and_o woman_n and_o such_o man_n also_o as_o be_v not_o learned_a be_v always_o to_o give_v god_n infinite_a thanks_n for_o that_o there_o be_v some_o in_o the_o world_n who_o take_v so_o great_a pain_n and_o trouble_v to_o obtain_v the_o knowledge_n of_o truth_n whereof_o such_o as_o be_v not_o learned_a be_v ignorant_a and_o it_o amaze_v i_o many_o time_n to_o see_v religious_a man_n who_o be_v learn_v and_o particular_o to_o consider_v with_o how_o much_o trouble_n they_o grow_v to_o gain_v all_o that_o knowledge_n which_o be_v to_o bring_v i_o so_o much_o profit_n without_o any_o more_o trouble_n of_o i_o then_o only_o to_o ask_v they_o the_o question_n and_o yet_o that_o we_o shall_v not_o benefit_v ourselves_o by_o it_o but_o let_v not_o god_n permit_v that_o still_o it_o shall_v continue_v to_o be_v so_o for_o i_o see_v they_o subject_n to_o the_o trouble_n and_o mortification_n of_o a_o religious_a life_n which_o be_v very_o great_a with_o pennance_n with_o ill_a diet_n with_o hard_a lodging_n with_o be_v subject_n in_o all_o thing_n to_o obedience_n and_o in_o fine_a i_o so_o perceive_v that_o all_o be_v affliction_n and_o all_o cross_n that_o real_o the_o thought_n thereof_o do_v cast_v i_o sometime_o into_o confusion_n and_o i_o think_v it_o must_v be_v a_o great_a misery_n that_o any_o body_n shall_v loose_v so_o important_a a_o benefit_n by_o his_o own_o fault_n it_o be_v possible_a that_o some_o of_o we_o who_o be_v free_a from_o these_o austerity_n whereof_o i_o speak_v or_o at_o least_o if_o we_o feed_v upon_o they_o we_o will_v needs_o have_v they_o fine_o dress_v after_o our_o own_o fancy_n and_o so_o will_v live_v as_o we_o list_v ourselves_o conceive_v that_o
improve_v so_o much_o the_o more_o as_o also_o because_o by_o this_o time_n she_o be_v grow_v to_o approach_v near_o to_o that_o virtue_n and_o power_n from_o whence_o all_o virtue_n proceed_v which_o be_v almighty_a god_n because_o his_o divine_a majesty_n do_v not_o only_o then_o communicate_v himself_o to_o that_o soul_n but_o he_o be_v also_o please_v that_o she_o shall_v find_v in_o what_o sort_n it_o be_v that_o he_o communicate_v himself_o to_o she_o in_o arrive_v once_o to_o this_o place_n she_o instant_o begin_v to_o loose_v the_o appetite_n of_o all_o thing_n concern_v this_o world_n and_o i_o can_v blame_v she_o for_o already_o she_o see_v very_o clear_o that_o one_o moment_n of_o that_o gust_n be_v not_o to_o be_v purchase_v here_o and_o that_o no_o riches_n nor_o dominion_n nor_o all_o the_o honour_n nor_o delight_n of_o this_o world_n be_v able_a to_o give_v such_o contentment_n and_o satisfaction_n as_o this_o though_o it_o be_v but_o for_o the_o twinkle_n of_o a_o eye_n because_o this_o be_v true_a contentment_n and_o such_o a_o one_o as_o we_o real_o see_v and_o find_v to_o content_v we_o indeed_o for_o as_o for_o those_o other_o of_o this_o world_n it_o may_v well_o go_v for_o a_o wonder_n if_o we_o can_v so_o much_o as_o tell_v even_o wherein_o the_o contentment_n of_o any_o thing_n do_v consist_v nor_o do_v there_o ever_o fail_v to_o be_v a_o kind_n of_o measure_v cast_v between_o the_o yea_o and_o the_o no_o in_o any_o of_o they_o but_o here_o all_o be_v in_o the_o affirmative_a and_o profess_v to_o say_v yea_o as_o long_o as_o it_o last_v and_o the_o no_o come_v not_o in_o till_o afterward_o because_o then_o they_o see_v that_o the_o business_n be_v grow_v to_o be_v at_o a_o end_n and_o that_o he_o can_v recover_v it_o again_o nor_o know_v indeed_o how_o to_o go_v about_o it_o for_o though_o he_o shall_v even_o half_o kill_v himself_o with_o do_v penance_n and_o make_v much_o prayer_n and_o use_v in_o fine_a all_o other_o possible_a diligence_n yet_o will_v it_o all_o serve_v to_o very_o little_a purpose_n unless_o our_o lord_n vouchsafe_v to_o impart_v it_o but_o almighty_a god_n be_v please_v here_o for_o his_o own_o greatness_n that_o this_o soul_n shall_v now_o understand_v that_o his_o divine_a majesty_n vouchsafe_v to_o be_v so_o near_o she_o that_o now_o there_o be_v no_o need_n of_o send_v any_o messenger_n to_o she_o but_o only_o that_o she_o herself_o may_v speak_v with_o he_o though_o yet_o not_o by_o word_n of_o mouth_n because_o then_o he_o be_v already_o so_o near_o she_o that_o he_o understand_v she_o as_o a_o man_n may_v say_v even_o by_o the_o very_a lest_o stir_v of_o her_o lip_n but_o now_o it_o may_v chance_n seem_v to_o some_o to_o be_v impertinent_a for_o i_o to_o talk_v after_o this_o manner_n in_o regard_n the_o world_n know_v well_o enough_o that_o our_o lord_n do_v ever_o hear_v we_o &_o be_v ever_o present_a with_o we_o and_o there_o can_v be_v no_o doubt_n at_o all_o but_o that_o this_o be_v true_a but_o yet_o here_o this_o emperor_n and_o lord_n of_o we_o be_v please_v that_o we_o shall_v also_o understand_v that_o he_o understand_v we_o and_o what_o his_o presence_n be_v able_a to_o do_v &_o what_o he_o will_v particular_o begin_v to_o work_v in_o our_o soul_n and_o the_o great_a both_o interior_a and_o exterior_a satisfaction_n which_o he_o impart_v and_o the_o mighty_a difference_n which_o as_o i_o have_v say_v there_o be_v between_o this_o kind_n of_o delight_n and_o gust_n and_o all_o the_o other_o of_o this_o world_n for_o this_o seem_v even_o to_o fill_v all_o those_o hollow_a and_o void_a place_n which_o our_o sin_n have_v make_v in_o our_o soul_n and_o this_o so_o great_a satisfaction_n be_v in_o the_o very_a most_o intimate_a part_n thereof_o and_o she_o know_v not_o how_o nor_o by_o what_o mean_v also_o it_o come_v nay_o many_o time_n she_o can_v tell_v even_o what_o to_o do_v nor_o what_o to_o ask_v no_o nor_o what_o to_o wish_v for_o the_o soul_n seem_v there_o to_o find_v all_o good_a thing_n together_o and_o she_o do_v not_o very_o well_o know_v even_o what_o she_o have_v find_v nor_o yet_o can_v i_o tell_v how_o to_o give_v it_o to_o be_v understand_v for_o there_o will_v here_o be_v need_n of_o learning_n for_o many_o purpose_n and_o here_o will_v it_o come_v very_o well_o in_o to_o give_v to_o understand_v the_o difference_n betwixt_o general_n and_o particular_a help_n or_o succour_n of_o grace_n whereof_o many_o be_v ignorant_a and_o our_o lord_n in_o this_o prayer_n be_v please_v that_o our_o soul_n shall_v see_v this_o particular_a succour_n as_o it_o be_v with_o her_o very_a eye_n and_o many_o other_o thing_n also_o which_o may_v perhaps_o be_v ill_o declare_v here_o by_o i_o but_o since_o understand_v person_n be_v to_o see_v what_o i_o write_v and_o who_o will_v know_v if_o it_o have_v any_o error_n in_o it_o wherein_o i_o may_v easy_o be_v find_v faulty_a enough_o through_o want_n both_o of_o learning_n &_o spirit_n i_o be_o in_o the_o less_o pain_n and_o care_n consider_v that_o this_o go_v into_o the_o hand_n of_o such_o as_o will_v both_o understand_v it_o &_o will_v blot_n also_o any_o such_o thing_n out_o as_o may_v have_v be_v ill_o say_v yet_o i_o will_v fain_o give_v this_o to_o be_v understand_v because_o these_o be_v the_o beginning_n and_o when_o our_o lord_n dispose_v himself_o first_o to_o do_v these_o favour_n the_o soul_n herself_o do_v not_o understand_v they_o nor_o do_v she_o know_v what_o to_o do_v with_o herself_o for_o if_o almighty_a god_n conduct_v and_o guide_v she_o by_o the_o way_n of_o fear_n as_o he_o do_v i_o the_o trouble_n be_v very_o great_a unless_o there_o be_v some_o at_o hand_n who_o can_v understand_v she_o but_o then_o it_o be_v a_o great_a gust_n for_o she_o to_o see_v herself_o well_o describe_v by_o they_o for_o then_o she_o evident_o find_v herself_o to_o be_v in_o that_o way_n and_o it_o be_v also_o of_o great_a benefit_n to_o know_v what_o one_o have_v to_o do_v in_o any_o of_o these_o state_n or_o degree_n that_o so_o they_o may_v go_v profit_v on_o for_o my_o part_n i_o endure_v much_o and_o lose_v a_o great_a deal_n of_o time_n because_o i_o do_v not_o know_v how_o to_o carry_v myself_o and_o therefore_o i_o have_v very_o great_a compassion_n of_o those_o soul_n which_o find_v themselves_o alone_o when_o they_o be_v come_v thus_o far_o for_o though_o i_o have_v read_v many_o spiritual_a book_n and_o though_o they_o touch_v upon_o that_o which_o be_v to_o the_o purpose_n yet_o fall_v they_o very_o short_a in_o declare_v themselves_o and_o unless_o the_o soul_n be_v very_o well_o exercise_v in_o prayer_n she_o shall_v have_v enough_o to_o do_v to_o understand_v they_o though_o they_o seek_v to_o express_v themselves_o at_o large_a i_o can_v very_o much_o desire_n that_o our_o lord_n will_v do_v i_o the_o favour_n that_o i_o may_v know_v how_o to_o set_v down_o the_o effect_n which_o these_o thing_n that_o grow_v already_o to_o be_v supernatural_a use_v to_o work_v in_o the_o soul_n to_o the_o end_n that_o it_o may_v be_v understand_v by_o they_o when_o it_o be_v the_o spirit_n of_o god_n i_o say_v that_o it_o may_v be_v understand_v according_a to_o what_o we_o can_v think_v we_o understand_v in_o this_o world_n though_o it_o will_v always_o be_v very_o well_o do_v to_o go_v on_o with_o circumspection_n and_o fear_n for_o though_o it_o be_v indeed_o of_o god_n yet_o the_o devil_n can_v tell_v how_o to_o transform_v himself_o sometime_o into_o a_o angel_n of_o light_n and_o if_o a_o soul_n be_v not_o well_o exercise_v in_o prayer_n she_o will_v not_o understand_v it_o well_o and_o indeed_o to_o be_v exercise_v well_o enough_o to_o understand_v this_o point_n as_o it_o deserve_v the_o soul_n must_v be_v arrive_v to_o the_o high_a degree_n of_o prayer_n the_o little_a time_n i_o have_v will_v allow_v i_o no_o great_a help_n for_o what_o i_o be_o designe_v and_o therefore_o his_o divine_a majesty_n have_v need_n to_o do_v it_o himself_o for_o i_o must_v be_v stir_v up_o and_o down_o in_o the_o community_n &_o have_v many_o other_o business_n to_o do_v since_o i_o be_o at_o this_o present_a in_o a_o house_n which_o be_v but_o beginning_n now_o as_o i_o shall_v show_v afterward_o and_o therefore_o i_o be_o write_v this_o without_o any_o such_o rest_n and_o quiet_a kind_n of_o be_v as_o be_v convenient_a so_o that_o i_o must_v do_v it_o by_o little_a and_o little_a and_o by_o fit_n but_o i_o can_v wish_v i_o be_v now_o at_o more_o leisure_n for_o when_o our_o lord_n give_v a_o spirit_n to_o do_v a_o thing_n it_o be_v easy_o and_o much_o
here_o of_o what_o it_o may_v import_v if_o such_o person_n be_v to_o preach_v or_o teach_v other_o for_o than_o it_o will_v be_v fit_a to_o serve_v themselves_o of_o that_o advantage_n towards_o the_o assist_a of_o their_o neighbour_n to_o that_o good_a and_o to_o help_v also_o poor_a people_n who_o know_v very_o little_a like_v i_o for_o charity_n be_v a_o very_a great_a matter_n and_o so_o be_v this_o help_a soul_n forward_o so_o that_o always_o it_o be_v do_v pure_o for_o god_n but_o now_o in_o these_o time_n of_o possess_v this_o great_a quiet_a let_v the_o soul_n be_v suffer_v to_o remain_v in_o rest_n with_o her_o true_a repose_n and_o let_v learning_n be_v lay_v aside_o for_o time_n will_v come_v afterward_o when_o it_o will_v fallout_a to_o be_v hold_v in_o so_o high_a account_n that_o they_o will_v by_o no_o mean_n have_v miss_v that_o treasure_n of_o knowledge_n if_o it_o be_v but_o only_o for_o the_o power_n it_o give_v they_o to_o do_v more_o and_o better_a service_n to_o his_o divine_a majesty_n for_o it_o assist_v very_o much_o in_o order_n to_o that_o excellent_a end_n but_o yet_o believe_v i_o still_o that_o in_o the_o presence_n of_o that_o infinite_a wisdom_n a_o very_a little_a attention_n to_o exercise_v humility_n &_o one_o single_a act_n of_o that_o virtue_n be_v more_o worth_a than_o all_o the_o knowledge_n of_o the_o whole_a world_n for_o here_o there_o be_v no_o room_n for_o dispute_v of_o question_n or_o argue_v case_n but_o only_o to_o know_v with_o truth_n and_o plainness_n what_o we_o be_v &_o to_o represent_v ourselves_o with_o great_a simplicity_n in_o the_o sight_n of_o almighty_a god_n who_o desire_n that_o the_o soul_n shall_v make_v herself_o as_o very_o ignorant_a and_o silly_a as_o in_o very_a deed_n she_o be_v when_o once_o she_o come_v to_o appear_v in_o his_o presence_n since_o his_o divine_a majesty_n descend_v so_o much_o below_o himself_o as_o to_o endure_v she_o near_o his_o own_o person_n all_o we_o be_v that_o which_o we_o be_v the_o understanding_n will_v also_o move_v itself_o here_o to_o give_v certain_a thanks_n to_o almighty_a god_n which_o may_v be_v handsome_o order_v and_o compose_v but_o the_o will_n with_o a_o certain_a kind_n of_o quiet_a and_o peace_n and_o with_o a_o not_o dare_v like_o the_o publican_n of_o the_o gospel_n so_o much_o as_o lift-up_a her_o eye_n pay_v yet_o more_o retribution_n of_o thanks_n than_o the_o understanding_n perhaps_o know_v how_o to_o do_v with_o revolve_v all_o the_o rhetoric_n in_o the_o world_n but_o in_o fine_a we_o be_v not_o total_o in_o this_o case_n to_o forbear_v to_o make_v mental_a prayer_n no_o nor_o yet_o sometime_o to_o use_v some_o vocal_a word_n if_o we_o will_v and_o can_v and_o i_o say_v can_v because_o if_o the_o quiet_v be_v great_a and_o deep_a they_o will_v hardly_o enough_o be_v able_a to_o speak_v without_o make_v it_o cost_v they_o much_o pain_n in_o bad_a my_o opinion_n we_o may_v well_o understand_v when_o this_o be_v of_o the_o spirit_n of_o almighty_a god_n and_o when_o it_o happen_v to_o be_v procure_v by_o ourselves_o though_o it_o be_v upon_o a_o beginning_n of_o that_o devotion_n which_o god_n give_v us._n for_o when_o as_o i_o have_v say_v we_o will_v needs_o resolve_v ourselves_o of_o ourselves_o to_o procure_v to_o pass_v on_o to_o this_o possess_n the_o quiet_a of_o the_o will_n it_o use_v to_o work_v no_o good_a effect_n at_o all_o but_o quick_o end_v and_o leave_v nothing_o but_o dryness_n behind_o it_o and_o if_o it_o chance_v to_o proceed_v from_o the_o devil_n a_o soul_n which_o be_v exercise_v in_o this_o kind_n will_n i_o believe_v grow_v easy_o to_o understand_v it_o for_o in_o that_o case_n it_o will_v leave_v a_o certain_a kind_n of_o disquiet_n and_o little_a affection_n to_o humility_n and_o a_o untoward_a disposition_n in_o order_n to_o the_o produce_v of_o those_o effect_n which_o the_o spirit_n of_o almighty_a god_n be_v wont_a to_o breed_v nor_o do_v it_o also_o leave_v either_o light_n in_o the_o understanding_n or_o a_o constant_a love_n of_o truth_n in_o the_o will._n and_o this_o will_v do_v a_o soul_n either_o very_a little_a hurt_n or_o none_o at_o all_o if_o she_o direct_v and_o address_v the_o suavitie_n and_o delight_n which_o then_o she_o feel_v to_o the_o glory_n of_o almighty_a god_n and_o if_o she_o lodge_v her_o thought_n and_o desire_n upon_o he_o as_o i_o have_v former_o advise_v the_o devil_n will_v gain_v little_a by_o the_o bargain_n nay_o rather_o almighty_a god_n will_v so_o dispose_v of_o thing_n that_o he_o shall_v loose_v much_o even_o by_o that_o very_a delight_n which_o he_o cause_v in_o her_o soul_n for_o this_o very_a delight_n shall_v be_v a_o mean_n to_o make_v that_o soul_n which_o conceive_v that_o it_o proceed_v from_o god_n to_o come_v again_o often_o to_o prayer_n with_o desire_n to_o receive_v more_o delight_n or_o else_o if_o the_o soul_n be_v very_o humble_a and_o not_o withal_o very_o curious_a nor_o very_o much_o interest_v in_o take_v delight_n though_o even_o they_o be_v spiritual_a but_o be_v indeed_o a_o true_a friend_n to_o the_o cross_n she_o will_v make_v very_o little_a account_n of_o any_o gust_n which_o the_o devil_n can_v give_v she_o which_o yet_o she_o shall_v never_o be_v able_a to_o do_v if_o indeed_o it_o be_v the_o spirit_n of_o god_n for_o in_o that_o case_n she_o will_v ever_o be_v sure_a to_o hold_v it_o in_o very_o high_a account_n now_o when_o the_o devil_n propound_v such_o a_o business_n since_o he_o be_v all_o make_v of_o lie_n whensoever_o he_o see_v a_o soul_n abase_v and_o humble_v herself_o by_o mean_n of_o that_o delight_n and_o gust_n which_o she_o receave_v for_o indeed_o we_o be_v to_o have_v very_o great_a care_n to_o procure_v to_o prove_v very_o humble_a upon_o all_o the_o occasion_n of_o prayer_n and_o gust_n the_o devil_n will_v not_o return_v to_o tempt_v we_o very_o often_o when_o he_o consider_v how_o much_o he_o lose_v by_o the_o endeavour_n for_o this_o reason_n and_o upon_o many_o other_o consideration_n do_v i_o advertise_v in_o the_o first_o degree_n and_o state_n of_o prayer_n which_o answer_v to_o the_o first_o way_n of_o draw_v water_n in_o the_o garden_n that_o it_o be_v a_o all_o principal_a business_n when_o the_o soul_n be_v enter_v first_o upon_o prayer_n to_o begin_v to_o untie_v herself_o from_o the_o desire_n of_o all_o kind_n of_o sensible_a contentment_n and_o to_o enter_v upon_o this_o only_o resolution_n to_o help_v our_o lord_n jesus_n to_o carry_v his_o cross_n like_o good_a cavalier_n who_o be_v resolve_v to_o serve_v their_o king_n without_o wage_n since_o they_o be_v so_o sure_a of_o he_o as_o they_o be_v and_o we_o be_v also_o still_o to_o carry_v our_o eye_n upon_o that_o true_a and_o everlasting_a kingdom_n which_o we_o procure_v to_o acquire_v it_o be_v a_o very_a great_a point_n to_o have_v this_o ever_o in_o view_n and_o especial_o in_o the_o beginning_n for_o afterward_o it_o be_v see_v so_o very_o clear_o that_o it_o may_v rather_o be_v fit_a to_o forget_v it_o to_o the_o end_n that_o we_o may_v be_v able_a even_o to_o live_v then_o procure_v to_o be_v remember_v that_o the_o world_n be_v to_o last_v very_o little_a and_o that_o all_o in_o fine_a be_v nothing_o and_o that_o here_o the_o ease_n and_o rest_n which_o we_o can_v have_v be_v to_o be_v esteem_v for_o nothing_o this_o may_v seem_v to_o be_v a_o very_a poor_a and_o base_a consideration_n and_o so_o indeed_o it_o be_v for_o they_o who_o have_v proceed_v to_o more_o perfection_n will_v take_v it_o for_o a_o affront_n and_o will_v even_o blush_v and_o be_v ashamed_a among_o themselves_o if_o they_o think_v they_o forsake_v the_o good_n of_o this_o world_n because_o they_o must_v come_v once_o to_o have_v a_o end_n for_o although_o those_o good_n be_v to_o last_v always_o they_o will_v yet_o rejoice_v to_o leave_v they_o for_o the_o love_n of_o our_o lord_n and_o still_o the_o more_o perfect_a they_o be_v they_o will_v rejoice_v so_o much_o the_o more_o yea_o &_o the_o more_o also_o will_v they_o rejoice_v the_o long_o they_o believe_v they_o be_v to_o last_o in_o these_o man_n this_o love_n be_v already_o growne-up_a to_o strength_n and_o it_o be_v this_o which_o work_v most_o but_o for_o such_o as_o be_v but_o beginner_n it_o be_v a_o point_n of_o high_a importance_n and_o they_o must_v by_o no_o mean_n hold_v it_o for_o low_a to_o be_v content_a to_o leave_v all_o gust_n for_o god_n for_o the_o benefit_n which_o be_v gain_v by_o this_o consideration_n be_v great_a and_o therefore_o do_v i_o advise_v it_o so_o much_o nay_o even_o those_o other_o who_o be_v most_o elevate_v and_o accomplish_v in_o prayer_n will_v have_v
upon_o he_o and_o he_o will_v have_v she_o take_v her_o case_n and_o only_o that_o the_o will_n may_v accept_v of_o those_o favour_n which_o she_o enjoy_v and_o she_o must_v offer_v herself_o to_o go_v through_o with_o all_o that_o which_o he_o who_o be_v true_a wisdom_n shall_v be_v please_v to_o ordain_v for_o which_o purpose_n there_o be_v real_o need_n of_o a_o great_a deal_n of_o courage_n for_o so_o great_a *_o and_o high_a use_v that_o joy_n to_o be_v that_o sometime_o it_o seem_v that_o there_o need_v not_o so_o much_o as_o a_o hair_n breadth_n for_o make_v the_o soul_n go_v instant_o out_o of_o that_o body_n and_o o_o what_o a_o happy_a death_n will_v that_o be_v and_o here_o i_o think_v that_o come_v in_o very_o well_o which_o once_o be_v say_v to_o your_o reverence_n that_o you_o must_v leave_v yourself_o whole_o in_o the_o arm_n of_o god_n if_o he_o will_v carry_v you_o to_o heaven_n that_o you_o go_v if_o to_o hell_n there_o will_v be_v no_o torment_n there_o so_o that_o you_o be_v with_o he_o who_o be_v your_o total_a good_a if_o instant_o to_o make_v a_o end_n of_o this_o life_n that_o you_o desire_v nothing_o else_o and_o yet_o that_o you_o be_v as_o well_o please_v if_o yet_o he_o will_v have_v you_o live_v a_o thousand_o year_n let_v his_o divine_a majesty_n dispose_v of_o you_o as_o of_o a_o thing_n which_o be_v proper_o his_o own_o for_o your_o soul_n be_v now_o no_o long_o you_o but_o it_o whole_o belong_v to_o our_o lord_n and_o therefore_o you_o must_v be_v altogether_o out_o of_o care_n now_o i_o say_v that_o in_o so_o elevate_v and_o high_a a_o prayer_n as_o this_o she_o understand_v that_o she_o can_v perform_v it_o without_o any_o weariness_n at_o all_o to_o the_o understanding_n for_o when_o god_n give_v this_o prayer_n to_o a_o soul_n she_o be_v able_a to_o do_v all_o this_o yea_o and_o can_v also_o work_v other_o manner_n of_o effect_n than_o these_o only_o i_o think_v she_o be_v as_o it_o be_v amazed_z to_o see_v our_o lord_n perform_v the_o office_n of_o a_o good_a gardner_n so_o well_o and_o be_v not_o please_v that_o she_o shall_v take_v any_o trouble_n or_o pain_n but_o only_o that_o she_o be_v to_o delight_v herself_o in_o beginning_n to_o enjoy_v the_o odour_n of_o those_o flower_n for_o in_o one_o such_o approach_n as_o this_o how_o little_a a_o while_n soever_o it_o may_v last_v such_o a_o kind_n of_o gardner_n this_o be_v for_o he_o be_v the_o creator_n of_o the_o water_n and_o he_o give_v it_o so_o very_o free_o beyond_o measure_n that_o what_o this_o single_a poor_a soul_n be_v not_o able_a to_o assemble_v by_o the_o labour_n of_o tyring-out_a her_o understanding_n in_o twenty_o year_n together_o this_o celestial_a gardner_n do_v it_o all_o in_o one_o moment_n of_o time_n and_o the_o fruit_n do_v so_o grow_v and_o become_v ripe_a that_o it_o be_v able_a through_o the_o good_a pleasure_n of_o our_o lord_n to_o sustain_v the_o owner_n thereof_o and_o to_o enable_v he_o to_o live_v upon_o the_o gain_n which_o he_o make_v by_o it_o only_o he_o give_v not_o this_o soul_n leave_v to_o present_v of_o this_o fruit_n to_o other_o till_o such_o time_n as_o she_o be_v grow_v strong_a by_o what_o herself_o have_v eat_v of_o it_o and_o she_o must_v not_o squander_v it_o away_o in_o try_v idle_o how_o it_o taste_v for_o so_o she_o not_o value_v the_o profit_n which_o she_o may_v make_v by_o it_o nor_o they_o pay_v she_o any_o thing_n for_o it_o to_o who_o she_o give_v it_o she_o come_v to_o maintain_v and_o feed_v they_o up_o at_o her_o cost_n whilst_o herself_o may_v by_o degree_n grow_v to_o be_v ready_a to_o die_v of_o hunger_n this_o will_v perhaps_o be_v well_o comprehend_v by_o they_o who_o have_v a_o right_a kind_n of_o understanding_n and_o will_v know_v how_o to_o apply_v it_o better_o than_o i_o can_v declare_v it_o and_o now_o i_o be_o even_o weary_a to_o think_v if_o it_o in_o a_o word_n the_o truth_n be_v this_o that_o the_o virtue_n which_o be_v obtain_v in_o this_o prayer_n remain_v so_o much_o strong_a here_o then_o in_o the_o prayer_n of_o quiet_n whereof_o i_o speak_v before_o that_o the_o soul_n can_v be_v ignorant_a thereof_o for_o she_o find_v herself_o to_o be_v whole_o grow_v another_o kind_n of_o thing_n than_o she_o be_v and_o she_o begin_v she_o even_o scarce_o know_v how_o to_o act_n and_o work_v great_a thing_n by_o the_o odour_n which_o the_o flower_n yield_v of_o themselves_o for_o now_o our_o lord_n be_v please_v that_o they_o may_v sprout_v and_o open_a to_o the_o end_n that_o she_o may_v know_v she_o have_v virtue_n though_o yet_o with_o all_o she_o see_v very_o clear_o that_o she_o be_v not_o able_a to_o acquire_v and_o get_v they_o but_o that_o the_o celestial_a gardner_n be_v please_v to_o impart_v they_o to_o she_o as_o it_o be_v at_o a_o instant_n the_o humility_n also_o of_o this_o soul_n be_v much_o great_a and_o more_o profound_a then_o in_o the_o former_a prayer_n because_o she_o see_v more_o clear_o that_o herself_o do_v neither_o much_o nor_o little_a but_o only_o consent_v that_o our_o lord_n may_v do_v she_o those_o favour_n and_o she_o embrace_v they_o with_o her_o will._n to_o i_o it_o seem_v that_o there_o be_v in_o this_o kind_n of_o prayer_n a_o very_a evident_a none_o union_n of_o the_o whole_a soul_n with_o god_n save_o that_o it_o also_o seem_v that_o his_o divine_a majesty_n give_v liberty_n to_o the_o power_n thereof_o to_o understand_v and_o enjoy_v the_o abundance_n of_o what_o he_o work_v therein_o now_o it_o happen_v sometime_o yea_o and_o many_o time_n that_o the_o will_n be_v thus_o unite_v that_o your_o reverence_n may_v see_v both_o that_o this_o may_v be_v and_o may_v also_o be_v able_a to_o understand_v it_o when_o you_o have_v it_o and_o at_o least_o it_o put_v i_o almost_o out_o of_o my_o wit_n &_o therefore_o i_o relate_v it_o to_o you_o here_o know_v and_o understand_v that_o it_o be_v tyed-up_a and_o bind_v and_o yet_o in_o condition_n of_o enjoy_v i_o say_v again_o it_o know_v that_o itself_o be_v the_o will_n remain_v in_o much_o quiet_a whilst_o yet_o on_o the_o other_o side_n the_o understanding_n and_o memory_n be_v free_a and_o be_v able_a to_o treat_v of_o business_n &_o to_o attend_v to_o certain_a work_n of_o charity_n now_o though_o this_o seem_v to_o be_v all_o one_o with_o that_o which_o be_v speak_v of_o in_o that_o other_o discourse_n of_o quiet_a prayer_n yet_o it_o be_v different_a because_o there_o the_o soul_n be_v in_o such_o case_n as_o it_o will_v fain_o not_o stir_v nor_o move_v itself_o in_o that_o kind_n of_o prayer_n as_o enjoy_v the_o leisure_n and_o contemplation_n of_o marie_n i_o mean_v of_o s._n marie_n magdalen_n whereas_o here_o in_o this_o prayer_n she_o can_v also_o act_v the_o part_n of_o martha_n so_o that_o she_o do_v now_o in_o effect_n perform_v the_o office_n both_o of_o the_o active_a and_o of_o the_o contemplative_a life_n and_o all_o at_o once_o and_o be_v able_a to_o exercise_v herself_o upon_o those_o business_n and_o work_n of_o charity_n which_o be_v incident_a to_o her_o condition_n and_o she_o can_v also_o read_v though_o yet_o still_o the_o power_n or_o faculty_n of_o her_o soul_n be_v not_o absolute_o the_o lord_n of_o themselves_o and_o still_o she_o understand_v well_o enough_o that_o the_o great_a part_n of_o herself_o that_o be_v to_o say_v her_o chief_n attention_n and_o operation_n be_v somewhere_o else_o it_o be_v just_a as_o if_o we_o be_v speak_v with_o some_o one_o and_o that_o withal_o at_o the_o self_n same_o time_n some_o other_o person_n be_v speak_v to_o we_o in_o such_o sort_n as_o that_o we_o be_v not_o entire_o attentive_a either_o to_o the_o one_o or_o to_o the_o other_o but_o it_o be_v a_o thing_n which_o be_v perceive_v very_o clear_o and_o give_v great_a satisfaction_n and_o contentment_n whensoever_o it_o arrive_v and_o it_o use_v to_o be_v a_o very_a great_a preparation_n and_o disposition_n to_o the_o end_n that_o whensoever_o the_o party_n may_v be_v in_o any_o solitude_n or_o exemption_n from_o business_n the_o soul_n may_v instant_o enjoy_v a_o very_a perfect_a quietness_n and_o repose_v this_o be_v a_o certain_a be_v as_o if_o a_o person_n receive_v such_o a_o kind_n of_o satisfaction_n and_o cessation_n of_o appetite_n in_o himself_o as_o that_o he_o will_v have_v no_o need_n at_o all_o to_o eat_v but_o feel_v his_o stomach_n content_a in_o such_o sort_n as_o that_o he_o will_v not_o easy_o apply_v himself_o to_o taste_v of_o whatsoever_o shall_v be_v set_v before_o he_o but_o yet_o withal_o that_o if_o he_o see_v such_o meat_n as_o he_o like_v he_o will_v not_o forbear_v to_o
eat_v of_o it_o for_o just_a so_o do_v the_o soul_n not_o satisfy_v herself_o nor_o be_v content_a to_o feed_v upon_o the_o meat_n of_o this_o world_n because_o she_o find_v that_o in_o herself_o which_o give_v her_o satisfaction_n it_o be_v the_o far_o great_a contentment_n which_o she_o have_v in_o almighty_a god_n and_o her_o desire_n also_o be_v to_o satisfy_v even_o those_o desire_n of_o she_o and_o this_o be_v that_o which_o she_o procure_v there_o be_v also_o another_o kind_n of_o union_n which_o even_o yet_o be_v not_o so_o much_o as_o a_o absolute_a and_o entire_a union_n though_o it_o be_v great_a than_o that_o of_o which_o i_o be_v speak_v before_o and_o not_o altogether_o so_o great_a as_o that_o of_o this_o three_o water_n and_o your_o reverence_n will_v be_v very_o glad_a suppose_v that_o our_o lord_n bestow_v they_o all_o upon_o you_o if_o you_o have_v they_o not_o already_o to_o find_v it_o write_v thus_o and_o direct_o to_o understand_v what_o it_o be_v for_o it_o be_v one_o kind_n of_o favour_n for_o our_o lord_n to_o impart_v the_o same_o very_a favour_n and_o another_o to_o understand_v what_o grace_n and_o favour_n that_o be_v yea_o and_o yet_o another_o to_o be_v able_a to_o unfold_v and_o declare_v how_o it_o pass_v and_o howsoever_o it_o may_v seem_v that_o there_o may_v no_o more_o than_o the_o first_o of_o these_o three_o be_v needful_a for_o the_o keep_n of_o the_o soul_n from_o be_v in_o a_o kind_n of_o confusion_n and_o fear_v and_o for_o enable_v it_o to_o go_v forward_o with_o more_o courage_n in_o the_o way_n of_o our_o lord_n even_o tread_v with_o the_o very_a foot_n thereof_o upon_o all_o the_o thing_n of_o this_o world_n yet_o be_v it_o a_o favour_n of_o so_o great_a advantage_n to_o understand_v it_o that_o it_o be_v reason_n that_o both_o he_o who_o have_v it_o and_o even_o he_o also_o who_o have_v it_o not_o shall_v praise_v our_o lord_n much_o for_o it_o because_o his_o divine_a majesty_n have_v be_v please_v to_o give_v it_o to_o some_o one_o who_o be_v yet_o alive_a to_o the_o end_n that_o he_o may_v also_o do_v we_o good_a now_o it_o happen_v also_o many_o time_n to_o i_o that_o i_o have_v this_o manner_n of_o union_n whereof_o i_o be_o speak_v for_o it_o please_v almighty_a god_n to_o do_v i_o this_o favour_n very_o very_o often_o and_o that_o god_n recollect_n and_o take_v hold_v of_o my_o will_n yea_o and_o also_o in_o my_o opinion_n of_o my_o understanding_n for_o then_o it_o discourse_v no_o long_o but_o be_v employ_v upon_o enjoy_v almighty_a god_n as_o one_o who_o stand_v look_v and_o look_v and_o see_v so_o very_a much_o that_o he_o know_v not_o indeed_o which_o way_n to_o look_v for_o one_o thing_n instant_o appear_v which_o take_v away_o the_o sight_n of_o the_o other_o and_o so_o nothing_o make_v any_o impression_n at_o all_o the_o memory_n remain_v free_a and_o so_o also_o do_v the_o imagination_n seem_v to_o do_v and_o this_o imagination_n when_o it_o find_v itself_o thus_o all_o alone_a that_o be_v without_o be_v control_v by_o the_o understanding_n it_o will_v make_v a_o body_n wonder_v extreme_o to_o see_v what_o a_o coil_n it_o keep_v and_o what_o a_o war_n it_o make_v and_o procure_v to_o put_v all_o out_o of_o order_n for_o my_o part_n i_o be_o sure_a it_o tire_v i_o and_o i_o be_o also_o sure_a that_o i_o abhor_v it_o and_o i_o have_v often_o beseech_v our_o lord_n that_o if_o it_o must_v needs_o distract_v i_o still_o after_o this_o manner_n he_o will_v be_v please_v to_o take_v it_o from_o i_o in_o these_o occasion_n and_o sometime_o i_o presume_v to_o say_v thus_o to_o he_o when_o o_o my_o god_n be_v this_o whole_a soul_n of_o i_o to_o be_v entire_o unite_v in_o thy_o praise_n and_o not_o divide_v thus_o into_o piece_n without_o be_v so_o much_o as_o able_a to_o serve_v herself_o of_o herself_o but_o here_o do_v i_o in_o the_o mean_a time_n discern_v the_o mischief_n which_o have_v be_v bring_v upon_o we_o by_o sin_n since_o it_o make_v we_o be_v so_o subject_a to_o the_o not_o do_v of_o what_o we_o so_o much_o desire_v which_o be_v to_o be_v ever_o busy_v about_o almighty_a god_n i_o say_v this_o happen_v to_o i_o diverse_a time_n and_o one_o of_o those_o time_n be_v this_o very_a day_n and_o so_o i_o may_v the_o better_a remember_v it_o for_o in_o fine_a i_o see_v my_o soul_n even_o dissolve_v and_o defeat_v herself_o through_o the_o desire_n which_o she_o have_v to_o be_v whole_o there_o where_o she_o find_v herself_o for_o the_o most_o part_n to_o be_v already_o and_o yet_o that_o this_o be_v impossible_a because_o both_o the_o memory_n and_o imagination_n do_v still_o make_v such_o war_n upon_o she_o that_o they_o suffer_v she_o not_o to_o work_v like_o herself_o and_o though_o they_o be_v not_o able_a to_o do_v she_o any_o hurt_n in_o regard_n that_o the_o other_o power_n and_o faculty_n be_v want_v yet_o indeed_o they_o may_v well_o be_v think_v to_o do_v hurt_v enough_o by_o the_o disquiet_n they_o give_v but_o yet_o still_o i_o say_v that_o they_o do_v she_o proper_o no_o hurt_n because_o indeed_o they_o have_v no_o strength_n nor_o do_v they_o fix_v themselves_o in_o any_o one_o be_v or_o state_n and_o in_o regard_n that_o the_o understanding_n do_v not_o help_v the_o imagination_n in_o that_o which_o it_o represent_v either_o more_o or_o less_o it_o can_v fasten_v upon_o any_o thing_n but_o skipp_n up_o &_o down_o from_o one_o to_o another_o and_o it_o be_v like_o those_o importunate_a and_o unquiet_a little_a gnatt_n which_o buzz_n and_o whizz_v by_o night_n here_o and_o there_o for_o just_a so_o be_v these_o power_n wont_a to_o go_v from_o one_o to_o another_o this_o comparison_n seem_v to_o i_o to_o be_v extreme_o proper_a for_o though_o these_o inferior_a faculty_n have_v not_o strength_n and_o mean_n to_o do_v harm_n yet_o be_v they_o troublesome_a enough_o to_o such_o as_o feel_v they_o not_o do_v i_o know_v what_o remedy_n there_o be_v against_o this_o inconvenience_n for_o hitherto_o almighty_a god_n have_v not_o enable_v i_o to_o find_v any_o out_o &_o if_o he_o have_v i_o will_v have_v be_v very_o glad_a to_o use_v it_o for_o it_o torment_v i_o as_o i_o say_v very_o often_o but_o in_o this_o be_v our_o misery_n make_v apparent_a to_o we_o and_o so_o also_o do_v the_o power_n of_o almighty_a god_n shine_v very_o clear_o in_o it_o since_o this_o faculty_n of_o the_o soul_n which_o be_v loose_a can_v put_v we_o to_o so_o much_o trouble_n and_o so_o tire_v we_o whilst_o yet_o those_o other_o which_o be_v employ_v and_o do_v attend_v so_o near_o to_o his_o divine_a majesty_n make_v we_o feel_v so_o much_o ease_n &_o joy_n the_o last_o remedy_n upon_o which_o i_o have_v fall_v after_o my_o have_v weary_v myself_o many_o year_n be_v that_o whereof_o i_o speak_v in_o quiet_a prayer_n that_o we_o shall_v make_v no_o more_o account_n thereof_o than_o we_o will_v of_o some_o starke-madd-foole_n but_o to_o let_v it_o still_o alone_o in_o tell_v that_o impertinent_a idle_a tale_n wherein_o god_n only_o can_v impose_v silence_n and_o since_o in_o fine_a it_o remain_v to_o we_o here_o in_o the_o nature_n of_o a_o slave_n we_o must_v be_v content_a to_o endure_v it_o as_o jacob_n do_v lya_n for_o our_o lord_n do_v we_o favour_n enough_o to_o permit_v that_o we_o may_v enjoy_v rachel_n i_o say_v that_o it_o remain_v as_o a_o slave_n by_o reason_n that_o it_o can_v draw_v the_o other_o power_n or_o faculty_n to_o it_o how_o vehement_o soever_o it_o may_v strive_v but_o rather_o they_o draw_v it_o often_o to_o they_o without_o any_o difficulty_n at_o all_o yea_o and_o sometime_o our_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o have_v pity_n to_o see_v even_o the_o imagination_n itself_o so_o very_o much_o disquiet_v and_o lose_v through_o desire_n to_o be_v in_o company_n with_o the_o other_o faculty_n and_o power_n of_o the_o mind_n and_o then_o his_o divine_a majesty_n be_v content_a that_o it_o also_o may_v be_v burn_v up_o in_o the_o fire_n of_o that_o divine_a taper_n where_o those_o other_o be_v already_o even_o consume_v to_o dust_n and_o where_o have_v as_o it_o be_v even_o lose_v their_o natural_a be_v they_o be_v enjoy_v so_o great_a blessing_n in_o a_o supernatural_a kind_n in_o all_o these_o way_n of_o this_o last_o fountain-water_n whereof_o i_o have_v speak_v the_o peaceful_a rest_n and_o glory_n of_o the_o soul_n be_v so_o great_a that_o even_o the_o body_n do_v very_o manifest_o participate_v of_o that_o joy_n and_o delight_n i_o say_v it_o do_v so_o very_o manifest_o yea_o and_o the_o virtue_n also_o of_o the_o mind_n increase_n and_o grow_v strong_a as_o i_o have_v say_v
have_v already_o show_v that_o there_o be_v then_o no_o power_n at_o all_o to_o do_v any_o thing_n that_o i_o express_v myself_o to_o his_o divine_a majesty_n much_o after_o this_o manner_n o_o lord_n consider_v well_o what_o thou_o do_v forget_v not_o my_o so_o very_a grievous_a sin_n so_o very_o soon_o and_o though_o thou_o have_v forget_v they_o so_o far_o as_o to_o vouchsafe_v to_o forgive_v they_o yet_o remember_v they_o also_o i_o humble_o beseech_v thou_o so_o far_o as_o to_o make_v thou_o put_v some_o limit_n upon_o those_o favour_n which_o thou_o be_v please_v to_o bestow_v upon_o i_o pour_v not_o o_o my_o creator_n so_o precious_a a_o liquor_n as_o that_o into_o so_o break_v a_o vessel_n as_o this_o since_o already_o thou_o have_v see_v how_o often_o i_o have_v scatter_v and_o spill_v it_o o_o lodge_v not_o and_o trust_v not_o such_o a_o treasure_n as_o this_o where_o the_o appetite_n and_o affection_n to_o all_o the_o consolation_n of_o this_o life_n be_v not_o yet_o so_o total_o lose_v and_o spend_v as_o it_o ought_v to_o be_v for_o if_o thou_o do_v it_o will_v be_v utter_o waste_v how_o can_v thou_o find_v in_o thy_o hart_n to_o deliver_v the_o strength_n of_o this_o city_n and_o even_o the_o very_a key_n of_o the_o fort_n into_o the_o hand_n of_o such_o a_o cowardly_a commander_n who_o be_v likely_a not_o to_o fail_v to_o give_v the_o enemy_n entrance_n upon_o the_o first_o assault_n which_o he_o shall_v make_v let_v not_o o_o my_o eternal_a king_n thy_o love_n to_o i_o be_v so_o great_a as_o that_o it_o shall_v make_v thou_o put_v such_o precious_a jewel_n as_o these_o into_o hazard_n and_o to_o i_o it_o seem_v o_o my_o lord_n that_o thou_o may_v give_v the_o world_n occasion_n hereby_o to_o undervalue_v these_o great_a favour_n of_o thou_o since_o thou_o put_v they_o into_o the_o custody_n and_o power_n of_o a_o creature_n who_o be_v so_o wicked_a so_o base_a so_o weak_a so_o miserable_a and_o of_o so_o little_a worth_n in_o any_o kind_n who_o though_o i_o now_o begin_v to_o labour_n that_o i_o may_v not_o utter_o loose_v they_o through_o thy_o favour_n which_o also_o have_v no_o need_n to_o be_v little_a consider_v what_o kind_n of_o thing_n i_o be_o shall_v yet_o be_v never_o able_a to_o gain_v any_o other_o creature_n to_o thou_o by_o mean_n thereof_o in_o fine_a i_o be_o a_o woman_n and_o no_o good_a woman_n but_o a_o very_a wicked_a one_o and_o it_o seem_v that_o these_o talent_n of_o thou_o be_v thus_o not_o only_o to_o be_v hide_v by_o this_o mean_n but_o even_o to_o be_v quite_o bury_v up_o since_o thou_o put_v they_o into_o so_o ungracious_a and_o unlucky_a a_o soil_n thou_o be_v not_o wont_a o_o lord_n to_o impart_v such_o favour_n and_o greatness_n as_o these_o to_o any_o soul_n but_o when_o there_o may_v be_v hope_n that_o she_o will_v be_v able_a to_o gain_v many_o other_o to_o thy_o service_n and_o thou_o know_v o_o my_o god_n already_o that_o i_o have_v sometime_o beg_v this_o favour_n and_o still_o i_o beg_v it_o of_o thou_o with_o my_o whole_a hart_n and_o with_o the_o entire_a affection_n thereof_o and_o i_o be_o resolve_v to_o think_v it_o fit_a to_o be_v content_a to_o loose_v the_o high_a blessing_n which_o can_v possible_o be_v enjoy_v upon_o earth_n to_o the_o end_n that_o thou_o may_v vouchsafe_v it_o to_o some_o other_o who_o will_v profit_v more_o by_o it_o that_o so_o thy_o own_o glory_n may_v be_v increase_v both_o these_o and_o such_o other_o thing_n as_o these_o have_v it_o occur_v to_o i_o to_o utter_v many_o time_n but_o yet_o afterward_o i_o perceive_v i_o own_o great_a folly_n herein_o together_o with_o my_o little_a humility_n for_o our_o lord_n know_v very_o well_o what_o be_v fit_a for_o every_o creature_n and_o that_o there_o be_v not_o to_o be_v strength_n enough_o in_o my_o soul_n whereby_o she_o may_v ever_o grow_v to_o be_v save_v if_o his_o divine_a majesty_n have_v not_o enrich_v she_o with_o so_o great_a favour_n but_o i_o also_o now_o pretend_v to_o declare_v the_o grace_n and_o effect_n prayer_n which_o remain_v by_o this_o prayer_n in_o the_o soul_n and_o what_o that_o be_v which_o she_o may_v be_v able_a to_o do_v of_o herself_o and_o if_o she_o may_v any_o way_n conduce_v towards_o the_o bring_n herself_o to_o this_o high_a state_n it_o happen_v that_o this_o elevation_n of_o the_o spirit_n or_o union_n come_v both_o of_o they_o with_o a_o celestial_a kind_n of_o love._n for_o according_a to_o my_o way_n of_o understanding_n this_o union_n union_n be_v a_o different_a thing_n from_o elevation_n though_o yet_o the_o soul_n be_v elevate_v in_o this_o very_a union_n whosoever_o have_v not_o try_v and_o feel_v this_o last_o will_v be_v of_o a_o different_a conceit_n but_o yet_o in_o my_o opinion_n though_o even_o it_o shall_v be_v all_o one_o yet_o our_o lord_n work_v therein_o after_o a_o different_a manner_n and_o by_o the_o increase_n which_o the_o soul_n have_v of_o be_v able_a to_o untie_v herself_o from_o the_o love_n of_o all_o creature_n she_o seem_v to_o be_v very_o much_o great_a in_o that_o flight_n and_o elevation_n of_o the_o spirit_n and_o i_o have_v clear_o see_v that_o this_o be_v a_o distinct_a and_o particular_a favour_n although_o the_o thing_n themselves_o may_v be_v all_o one_o as_o i_o say_v or_o at_o least_o may_v seem_v so_o but_o a_o small_a fire_n be_v as_o true_o and_o real_o fire_n as_o a_o great_a one_o and_o yet_o still_o we_o see_v difference_n enough_o between_o the_o one_o and_o the_o other_o for_o before_o a_o little_a iron_n can_v be_v able_a to_o be_v make_v red_a hot_a in_o a_o small_a fire_n a_o good_a space_n of_o time_n will_v be_v spend_v but_o now_o if_o the_o fire_n be_v great_a the_o iron_n though_o it_o be_v also_o great_a will_v loose_v the_o appearance_n of_o iron_n very_o quick_o just_o so_o do_v it_o seem_v to_o i_o to_o happen_v in_o these_o two_o sort_n of_o favour_n from_o our_o bless_a lord_n and_o i_o know_v that_o whosoever_o may_v ever_o have_v arrive_v to_o be_v in_o rapt_v will_v understand_v i_o well_o but_o such_o as_o have_v have_v no_o experience_n therein_o will_v hold_v all_o that_o to_o be_v impertinent_a which_o i_o have_v say_v perhaps_o also_o it_o be_v so_o indeed_o and_o so_o as_o he_o will_v have_v have_v reason_n who_o believe_v it_o for_o how_o shall_v such_o a_o thing_n as_o i_o presume_v to_o speak_v of_o such_o a_o thing_n as_o this_o and_o to_o give_v some_o part_n of_o that_o to_o be_v understand_v which_o it_o seem_v impossible_a even_o to_o begin_v to_o declare_v with_o any_o word_n so_o that_o it_o be_v not_o strange_a a_o whitt_n if_o i_o talk_v idle_o but_o yet_o i_o believe_v this_o of_o our_o bless_a lord_n because_o his_o divine_a majesty_n know_v that_o next_o to_o this_o act_n of_o obedience_n my_o intention_n be_v no_o other_o then_o to_o make_v soul_n even_o as_o it_o be_v gluttonous_a after_o the_o obtain_n of_o so_o high_a a_o good_a that_o he_o will_v be_v please_v to_o assist_v i_o herein_o and_o i_o be_o sure_a i_o will_v say_v nothing_o whereof_o i_o have_v not_o have_v much_o experience_n and_o it_o be_v a_o real_a truth_n that_o when_o i_o begin_v to_o write_v of_o this_o water_n i_o conceive_v it_o to_o be_v a_o more_o impossible_a thing_n for_o i_o to_o treat_v of_o it_o then_o to_o speak_v greek_a so_o very_o hard_o do_v i_o find_v it_o upon_o this_o i_o give_v it_o over_o and_o go_v to_o receive_v the_o bless_a sacrament_n but_o our_o lord_n be_v ever_o praise_v who_o do_v so_o great_a favour_n to_o ignorant_a person_n o_o virtue_n of_o obedience_n which_o be_v able_a to_o do_v all_o thing_n for_o almighty_a god_n do_v illuminate_v my_o understanding_n sometime_o by_o help_v i_o to_o the_o very_a express_a word_n which_o i_o be_v to_o use_v and_o at_o other_o time_n by_o represent_v the_o manner_n to_o i_o how_o i_o shall_v declare_v the_o thing_n so_o that_o as_o his_o divine_a majesty_n be_v please_v to_o do_v in_o the_o former_a degree_n of_o prayer_n it_o seem_v that_o he_o will_v also_o here_o declare_v what_o i_o neither_o can_v nor_o know_v how_o to_o express_v but_o that_o which_o now_o i_o say_v be_v a_o most_o literal_a truth_n and_o so_o that_o which_o shall_v be_v good_a be_v his_o instruction_n and_o doctrine_n and_o whatsoever_o falls-out_a to_o be_v ill_a it_o be_v clear_a that_o it_o proceed_v and_o flow_v from_o this_o deep_a sea_n of_o mischief_n and_o sin_n which_o be_v myself_o and_o therefore_o i_o here_o affirm_v that_o if_o any_o have_v arrive_v to_o these_o point_n and_o particular_n of_o prayer_n wherein_o our_o lord_n have_v do_v so_o great_a favour_n
to_o this_o miserable_a and_o wretched_a creature_n as_o it_o be_v likely_a that_o there_o be_v many_o if_o they_o shall_v be_v please_v to_o treat_v of_o these_o thing_n with_o i_o as_o conceave_a that_o i_o be_o mistake_v and_o out_o of_o the_o way_n our_o lord_n will_v so_o assist_v this_o poor_a servant_n of_o he_o as_o that_o she_o may_v be_v able_a to_o go_v forward_o to_o uphold_v this_o truth_n but_o now_o to_o speak_v of_o this_o last_o water_n which_o come_v from_o heaven_n to_o satisfy_v and_o even_o fulfil_v the_o whole_a garden_n by_o the_o abundance_n thereof_o if_o our_o lord_n do_v never_o forbear_v to_o give_v it_o whensoever_o there_o be_v need_n it_o be_v evident_a enough_o already_o of_o what_o case_n it_o will_v be_v to_o the_o gardener_n and_o that_o there_o will_v never_o be_v any_o winter_n but_o always_o most_o temperate_a weather_n nor_o will_v there_o ever_o be_v any_o want_n either_o of_o fruit_n or_o flower_n and_o so_o it_o may_v be_v easy_o see_v in_o what_o delight_n he_o will_v remain_v but_o as_o long_o as_o we_o live_v in_o this_o world_n this_o condition_n be_v a_o kind_n of_o impossible_a thing_n and_o we_o must_v always_o be_v in_o care_n that_o whensoever_o we_o shall_v want_v one_o of_o the_o water_n we_o may_v procure_v another_o this_o last_o which_o fall_v from_o heaven_n come_v down_o sometime_o even_o when_o the_o gardener_n think_v of_o it_o least_o true_a it_o be_v that_o these_o thing_n be_v almost_o ever_o wont_a to_o happen_v after_o a_o long_a exercise_n of_o mental_a prayer_n for_o our_o lord_n use_v to_o come_v by_o degree_n to_o catch_v this_o poor_a little_a bird_n and_o to_o lodge_v it_o then_o safe_o in_o the_o nest_n to_o the_o end_n that_o it_o may_v rest_v and_o repose_v and_o after_o it_o have_v put_v itself_o long_o upon_o flight_n procure_v by_o the_o exercise_n of_o the_o understanding_n and_o will_v and_o in_o fine_a by_o all_o the_o power_n it_o have_v to_o go_v in_o search_n of_o almighty_a god_n and_o to_o please_v he_o he_o vouchsafe_v to_o allow_v it_o a_o reward_n even_o in_o this_o life_n yea_o and_o this_o so_o very_o great_a a_o reward_n that_o any_o one_o little_a moment_n thereof_o may_v well_o suffice_v as_o a_o full_a satisfaction_n and_o retribution_n for_o all_o that_o care_n and_o trouble_v which_o he_o can_v ever_o have_v endure_v in_o this_o world_n the_o soul_n be_v thus_o in_o search_n of_o almighty_a god_n do_v find_v herself_o as_o it_o be_v even_o sink_v under_o a_o sweet_a and_o most_o excessive_a delight_n as_o be_v all_o in_o a_o certain_a way_n of_o dear_a faint_a so_o that_o the_o breath_n be_v even_o begin_v to_o fail_v and_o so_o also_o do_v all_o corporal_a strength_n in_o such_o sort_n as_o that_o the_o creature_n be_v now_o not_o able_a so_o much_o as_o to_o move_v her_o hand_n but_o with_o much_o pain_n the_o eye_n be_v also_o close_v though_o without_o any_o purpose_n to_o shut_v they_o and_o when_o by_o accident_n they_o chance_v to_o be_v open_a she_o in_o effect_n see_v nothing_o distinct_o nor_o if_o she_o read_v can_v she_o so_o much_o as_o judge_v right_o of_o any_o letter_n nor_o can_v she_o even_o guess_v how_o to_o name_v it_o right_n she_o see_v that_o indeed_o there_o be_v letter_n but_o the_o understanding_n not_o give_v she_o any_o assistance_n she_o know_v not_o how_o to_o read_v though_o she_o will_v she_o hear_v but_o yet_o understand_v not_o what_o she_o hear_v so_o that_o she_o receave_v no_o other_o benefit_n at_o all_o by_o her_o sense_n but_o only_o that_o they_o will_v not_o permit_v she_o to_o take_v the_o full_a fruition_n of_o her_o delight_n and_o so_o upon_o the_o matter_n they_o do_v she_o more_o hurt_n then_o good_a as_o for_o speak_v it_o be_v a_o vanity_n so_o much_o as_o to_o think_v of_o any_o such_o thing_n for_o she_o can_v possible_o hit_v right_a so_o much_o as_o in_o frame_v any_o one_o word_n nor_o if_o she_o be_v able_a to_o judge_v it_o be_v she_o yet_o possible_o able_a to_o pronounce_v it_o in_o regard_n that_o all_o the_o strength_n of_o her_o body_n be_v absolute_o lose_v for_o the_o great_a increase_n of_o that_o of_o her_o soul_n that_o so_o she_o may_v the_o better_o enjoy_v her_o glory_n the_o exterior_a delight_n also_o which_o she_o feel_v be_v both_o great_a and_o very_o certain_a this_o prayer_n put_v the_o person_n to_o no_o manner_n of_o inconvenience_n in_o any_o kind_n how_o long_o soever_o it_o may_v last_v at_o least_o it_o never_o put_v i_o to_o any_o nor_o be_o i_o able_a to_o remember_v when_o our_o lord_n do_v i_o this_o favour_n how_o sick_a or_o weak_a soever_o i_o be_v that_o i_o ever_o find_v myself_o the_o worse_o but_o rather_o with_o much_o improvement_n even_o in_o the_o way_n of_o health_n but_o indeed_o what_o hurt_n can_v ever_o be_v do_v to_o any_o creature_n by_o so_o great_a a_o blessing_n as_o this_o it_o be_v so_o know_v a_o truth_n concern_v the_o exterior_a operation_n that_o there_o can_v no_o doubt_n be_v make_v but_o that_o there_o be_v natual_o great_a occasion_n for_o their_o alteration_n since_o our_o lord_n take_v all_o their_o strength_n from_o they_o though_o yet_o it_o be_v with_o so_o great_a delight_n that_o the_o same_o grow_v afterward_o to_o be_v great_a it_o be_v true_a that_o in_o the_o beginning_n this_o state_n and_o feeling_n be_v wont_a to_o pass_v away_o in_o very_o short_a time_n at_o least_o it_o happen_v so_o to_o i_o but_o as_o for_o these_o exterior_a sign_n as_o also_o in_o this_o fail_n of_o operation_n in_o the_o sense_n it_o be_v not_o so_o easy_o to_o be_v give_v to_o be_v understand_v when_o thing_n pass_v away_o in_o short_a time_n but_o yet_o they_o be_v discern_v with_o ease_n by_o the_o excess_n of_o the_o favour_n for_o the_o clearness_n and_o heat_n of_o the_o sun_n must_v needs_o have_v be_v then_o very_o great_a when_o all_o that_o which_o come_v in_o the_o way_n be_v so_o absolute_o melt_v and_o dissolve_v let_v this_o also_o be_v well_o note_v that_o in_o my_o opinion_n how_o long_o soever_o that_o space_n of_o time_n may_v seem_v to_o be_v wherein_o all_o the_o power_n of_o the_o soul_n be_v in_o suspense_n it_o must_v needs_o have_v be_v indeed_o very_o short_a and_o if_o it_o shall_v arrive_v to_o half_a a_o hour_n it_o be_v very_o much_o for_o my_o part_n i_o think_v i_o be_v never_o so_o long_o true_a it_o be_v that_o one_o can_v hardly_o judge_v how_o long_o they_o be_v since_o the_o party_n be_v deprive_v of_o outward_a sense_n but_o i_o say_v that_o it_o must_v needs_o be_v a_o very_a short_a time_n wherein_o no_o one_o of_o the_o power_n can_v be_v able_a to_o return_v again_o to_o itself_o but_o now_o the_o will_n be_v indeed_o the_o only_o power_n which_o maintain_v the_o work_n for_o as_o for_o the_o other_o two_o they_o quick_o become_v importunate_a upon_o she_o yet_o the_o will_n remain_v quiet_a and_o fix_v suspend_v they_o yet_o again_o and_o so_o they_o stay_v another_o little_a while_n and_o afterward_o return_v to_o live_v as_o before_o in_o this_o manner_n some_o whole_a hour_n of_o prayer_n may_v be_v pass_v yea_o and_o sometime_o they_o be_v pass_v so_o for_o when_o the_o two_o power_n of_o the_o soul_n have_v taste_v of_o that_o celestial_a wine_n and_o begin_v to_o be_v inebriate_v with_o it_o they_o easy_o be_v induce_v to_o loose_v themselves_o once_o again_o so_o to_o get_v still_o the_o more_o by_o the_o bargain_n and_o so_o they_o go_v to_o accompany_v the_o will_n and_o all_o three_o come_v to_o be_v in_o the_o act_n of_o enjoy_v but_o this_o point_n of_o be_v total_o lose_v and_o so_o without_o frame_v any_o imagination_n at_o all_o which_o power_n in_o my_o way_n of_o understanding_n be_v also_o whole_o lose_v i_o say_v last_v but_o a_o very_a little_a time_n though_o yet_o they_o come_v not_o always_o so_o whole_o to_o themselves_o upon_o a_o sudden_a but_o that_o they_o may_v remain_v even_o some_o hour_n as_o in_o a_o kind_n of_o be_v still_o a_o little_a out_o of_o the_o way_n and_o in_o disorder_n almighty_a god_n vouchsafe_v to_o recollect_v they_o again_o to_o himself_o by_o little_a and_o little_a and_o now_o let_v we_o come_v to_o the_o interior_a of_o that_o which_o the_o soul_n be_v wont_a to_o feel_v at_o these_o time_n and_o let_v they_o declare_v it_o who_o know_v how_o since_o it_o can_v be_v well_o understand_v and_o much_o less_o express_v i_o be_v think_v when_o i_o dispose_v myself_o to_o write_v this_o as_o soon_o as_o i_o have_v receive_v the_o b._n sacrament_n and_o after_o the_o end_n of_o this_o very_a kind_n of_o prayer_n which_o now_o i_o write_v of_o what_o the_o
she_o do_v not_o well_o consider_v that_o she_o have_v not_o yet_o mew_v all_o her_o own_o sick-feather_n she_o may_v well_o step_n out_o of_o her_o nest_n yea_o and_o almighty_a god_n himself_o will_n perhaps_o take_v she_o now_o and_o then_o out_o from_o thence_o but_o she_o be_v not_o yet_o fit_a for_o a_o flight_n because_o her_o virtue_n be_v not_o yet_o grow_v to_o be_v of_o full_a strength_n nor_o have_v she_o yet_o experience_n for_o the_o knowledge_n of_o danger_n nor_o do_v she_o yet_o understand_v the_o mischief_n which_o grow_v by_o put_v too_o much_o trust_v in_o her_o own_o force_n and_o now_o this_o be_v that_o which_o destroy_v i_o and_o both_o for_o this_o and_o for_o all_o thing_n there_o will_v be_v great_a necessity_n of_o a_o director_n and_o of_o conversation_n with_o person_n who_o be_v spiritual_a indeed_o it_o be_v true_a i_o be_o full_o persuade_v that_o when_o almighty_a god_n do_v once_o bring_v a_o soul_n to_o this_o state_n he_o will_v not_o leave_v to_o favour_v she_o nor_o suffer_v she_o to_o perish_v if_o she_o do_v not_o very_o shameful_o and_o entire_o forsake_v and_o forbear_v to_o serve_v his_o divine_a majesty_n but_o yet_o if_o it_o shall_v so_o happen_v that_o she_o fall_v let_v she_o consider_v and_o consider_v again_o even_o for_o the_o love_n of_o our_o bless_a lord_n and_o take_v heed_n that_o the_o devil_n deceive_v she_o not_o so_o far_o as_o to_o make_v her_o give-ove_a her_o prayer_n as_o he_o do_v i_o under_o the_o pretence_n of_o false_a humility_n as_o i_o have_v declare_v and_o as_o i_o will_v fain_o repeat_v very_o often_o but_o let_v she_o trust_v in_o the_o goodness_n of_o almighty_a god_n which_o be_v great_a than_o all_o the_o sin_n which_o we_o can_v commit_v and_o let_v her_o hope_n that_o he_o will_v not_o remember_v our_o ingratitude_n when_o once_o we_o reflect_v due_o upon_o ourselves_o desire_v to_o return_v again_o to_o his_o friendship_n nor_o even_o passage_n so_o far_o consider_v the_o favour_n which_o he_o have_v do_v we_o as_o to_o make_v we_o be_v punish_v for_o they_o but_o that_o rather_o they_o will_v help_v to_o obtain_v pardon_n for_o we_o so_o much_o the_o soon_o as_o for_o person_n who_o have_v belong_v to_o his_o house_n and_o have_v have_v the_o honour_n to_o eat_v as_o man_n use_v to_o say_v of_o his_o bread_n let_v they_o remember_v his_o word_n and_o consider_v how_o he_o have_v proceed_v with_o i_o who_o even_o weary_v myself_o with_o offend_v his_o divine_a majesty_n before_o he_o will_v forbear_v or_o fail_v to_o pardon_v i_o for_o he_o never_o grow_v unwilling_a to_o give_v nor_o be_v it_o ever_o possible_a to_o draw_v his_o mercy_n dry_a and_o so_o let_v not_o we_o be_v weary_a of_o ever_o receive_v favour_n at_o his_o hand_n let_v he_o be_v bless_v for_o ever_o amen_n and_o let_v all_o creature_n praise_v he_o the_o twenty_o chapter_n wherein_o she_o treat_v of_o the_o difference_n between_a union_n and_o rapt_v and_o declare_v what_o kind_n of_o thing_n a_o rapt_v be_v she_o speak_v also_o of_o the_o blessing_n which_o that_o soul_n have_v which_o our_o lord_n through_o his_o goodness_n bring_v thither_o and_o of_o the_o effect_n which_o rapt_n use_v to_o produce_v this_o discourse_n be_v of_o much_o admiration_n i_o will_v be_v glad_a to_o know_v how_o to_o declare_v through_o the_o favour_n of_o almighty_a god_n the_o difference_n which_o there_o be_v between_o union_n on_o the_o one_o side_n and_o rapt_v and_o flight_n as_o they_o be_v wont_n to_o call_v it_o of_o spirit_n on_o the_o other_o for_o these_o two_o latter_a do_v signify_v in_o substance_n but_o one_o thing_n and_o it_o be_v also_o call_v extasis_fw-la the_o advantage_n be_v very_o great_a which_o belong_v to_o rapt_v beyond_o union_n and_o the_o effect_n also_o which_o it_o produce_v be_v much_o great_a and_o it_o have_v also_o many_o other_o operation_n for_o mere_a union_n seem_v to_o be_v always_o after_o the_o same_o manner_n both_o in_o the_o beginning_n in_o the_o middle_n and_o in_o the_o end_n and_o it_o be_v always_o in_o the_o interior_a part_n but_o now_o as_o rapt_n be_v visitation_n of_o the_o soul_n which_o use_v to_o be_v of_o a_o high_a strain_n they_o be_v wont_n to_o produce_v their_o effect_n not_o only_o interiorly_a but_o exterior_o also_o i_o humble_o beseech_v our_o bless_a lord_n that_o as_o he_o have_v vouchsafe_v to_o declare_v the_o rest_n so_o he_o will_v also_o vouchsafe_v to_o do_v this_o for_o certain_o if_o his_o divine_a majesty_n have_v not_o be_v please_v to_o give_v i_o to_o understand_v by_o what_o mean_n &_o in_o what_o manner_n it_o may_v be_v do_v i_o shall_v not_o possible_o have_v know_v which_o way_n to_o turn_v my_o hand_n let_v we_o therefore_o now_o consider_v that_o this_o last_o water_n whereof_o we_o have_v speak_v be_v so_o very_o plentiful_a and_o abundant_a that_o if_o it_o be_v not_o because_o the_o soil_n of_o the_o garden_n can_v consent_v to_o receive_v it_o we_o may_v believe_v that_o the_o very_a cloud_n itself_o of_o that_o great_a majesty_n be_v here_o rain_v itself_o down_o upon_o this_o earth_n and_o so_o when_o we_o be_v grateful_a to_o our_o lord_n for_o this_o great_a blessing_n acknowledge_v the_o same_o by_o our_o good_a work_n according_a to_o the_o uttermost_a of_o our_o power_n our_o lord_n catches-up_a rapt_n that_o soul_n as_o a_o man_n may_v say_v even_o just_a so_o as_o the_o cloud_n snatch_v up_o the_o vapour_n from_o the_o earth_n and_o so_o take_v she_o whole_o up_o from_o the_o same_o earth_n the_o cloud_n rise_v up_o to_o heaven_n and_o carry_v the_o same_o along_o with_o itself_o and_o show_v her_o certain_a thing_n belong_v to_o that_o kingdom_n which_o be_v prepare_v for_o she_o i_o know_v not_o whether_o this_o comparison_n will_v be_v think_v to_o suit_n well_o with_o that_o whereof_o i_o be_o speak_v but_o i_o be_o sure_a that_o in_o reality_n of_o truth_n it_o pass_v thus_o in_o these_o rapt_n it_o do_v not_o seem_v that_o the_o soul_n do_v even_o animate_v the_o body_n and_o so_o the_o body_n itself_o remain_v with_o a_o kind_n of_o trouble_n and_o defect_n through_o the_o want_n of_o that_o natural_a heat_n which_o belong_v to_o it_o and_o it_o go_v all_o cool_a itself_o though_o yet_o with_o a_o excessive_a sweetness_n and_o delight_n there_o be_v here_o no_o mean_n at_o all_o to_o resist_v though_o in_o union_n we_o be_v then_o as_o in_o our_o own_o country_n there_o be_v some_o remedy_n and_o so_o though_o it_o be_v not_o without_o suffer_v a_o kind_n of_o pain_n and_o use_v some_o force_n it_o may_v always_o in_o effect_n be_v employ_v but_o here_o for_o the_o most_o part_n there_o be_v no_o remedy_n at_o all_o nor_o any_o help_n but_o many_o time_n the_o thing_n arrive_v without_o our_o be_v so_o much_o as_o able_a to_o prevent_v the_o come_n of_o it_o even_o by_o our_o very_a thought_n and_o there_o grow_v to_o be_v such_o a_o speedy_a and_o strong_a kind_n of_o impetuositie_n that_o you_o feel_v and_o find_v this_o cloud_n to_o raise_v itself_o instant_o up_o or_o rather_o that_o this_o strong_a eagle_n take_v you_o and_o carry_v you_o quite_o away_o between_o her_o wing_n and_o i_o say_v it_o be_v understand_v and_o you_o find_v yourself_o to_o be_v carry_v away_o though_o you_o know_v not_o whither_o for_o howsoever_o the_o thing_n happen_v to_o be_v with_o delight_n yet_o so_o great_a be_v the_o weakness_n of_o our_o natural_a condition_n that_o it_o put_v we_o into_o some_o fear_n in_o the_o beginning_n and_o therefore_o it_o will_v be_v necessary_a in_o this_o case_n for_o the_o soul_n to_o be_v much_o more_o courageous_a and_o resolute_a then_o for_o all_o those_o occasion_n which_o be_v precedent_n for_o here_o she_o must_v be_v content_a to_o hazard_v all_o and_o to_o leave_v herself_o whole_o in_o the_o hand_n of_o almighty_a god_n and_o to_o go_v whithersoever_o she_o shall_v be_v carry_v and_o this_o with_o a_o very_a good_a will_n for_o in_o fine_a they_o will_v be_v sure_a to_o carry_v she_o whether_o she_o will_v or_o no_o and_o that_o with_o so_o great_a extremity_n of_o strength_n and_o speed_n that_o howsoever_o i_o have_v a_o mind_n very_o very_o often_o to_o resist_v it_o yea_o and_o that_o i_o employ_v all_o the_o strength_n i_o have_v to_o that_o purpose_n and_o especial_o at_o some_o particular_a time_n when_o thing_n fall_v out_o to_o happen_v in_o public_a yea_o and_o at_o many_o other_o time_n also_o when_o they_o be_v private_a for_o i_o be_v then_o in_o doubt_n and_o fear_v lest_o i_o may_v be_v abuse_v and_o deceive_v it_o be_v yet_o but_o seldom_o that_o i_o be_v able_a to_o prevail_v to_o some_o small_a proportion_n but_o it_o cost_v
i_o a_o very_a great_a deal_n of_o harrass_v &_o weariness_n to_o myself_o just_a so_o as_o if_o some_o ordinary_a person_n have_v be_v fight_v with_o some_o strong_a giant_n &_o afterward_o i_o shall_v find_v myself_o very_o weary_a but_o at_o other_o time_n it_o be_v altogether_o impossible_a for_o i_o to_o hinder_v it_o for_o my_o soul_n will_v be_v carry_v absolute_o away_o and_o ordinary_o even_o my_o head_n as_o it_o be_v after_o it_o yea_o &_o this_o sometime_o so_o far_o as_o that_o my_o whole_a body_n will_v be_v transport_v so_o as_o to_o be_v raised-up_a from_o the_o ground_n this_o last_o have_v happen_v rare_o to_o i_o but_o once_o it_o be_v upon_o the_o very_a point_n to_o arrive_v whilst_o we_o all_o be_v assemble_v together_o in_o the_o choir_n and_o i_o be_v then_o upon_o my_o knee_n as_o at_o the_o point_n of_o go_v to_o receive_v the_o bless_a sacrament_n it_o put_v i_o to_o a_o extremity_n of_o trouble_n because_o it_o seem_v to_o be_v a_o very_a extraordinary_a thing_n and_o that_o instant_o there_o will_v be_v much_o note_n of_o it_o and_o so_o i_o command_v my_o religious-woeman_n for_o at_o that_o time_n i_o be_v grow_v to_o be_v prioress_n that_o they_o shall_v not_o speak_v of_o it_o to_o any_o creature_n but_o at_o other_o time_n when_o i_o begin_v to_o discern_v that_o our_o lord_n be_v go_v about_o to_o do_v the_o same_o again_o and_o once_o in_o particular_a when_o diverse_a principal_a lady_n be_v present_a and_o it_o be_v upon_o the_o feast_n of_o our_o vocation_n when_o there_o be_v a_o sermon_n i_o do_v even_o spread_v myself_o all_o along_o upon_o the_o ground_n and_o though_o the_o religious_a woman_n come_v then_o about_o i_o to_o keep_v my_o body_n down_o yet_o the_o thing_n be_v easy_o perceive_v upon_o this_o i_o humble_o pray_v our_o lord_n in_o most_o particular_a manner_n that_o by_o no_o mean_n he_o will_v do_v i_o any_o such_o favour_n as_o may_v carry_v any_o of_o these_o exterior_a demonstration_n with_o they_o for_o already_o i_o be_v very_o weary_a of_o be_v necessary_o so_o wary_a and_o watchful_a over_o myself_o for_o that_o such_o kind_n of_o favour_n can_v not_o possible_o be_v do_v i_o by_o his_o divine_a majesty_n but_o so_o that_o every_o body_n will_v come_v to_o know_v it_o and_o it_o seem_v that_o through_o his_o goodness_n he_o have_v be_v please_v to_o hear_v my_o prayer_n for_o since_o that_o time_n i_o never_o have_v any_o rapt_n of_o that_o kind_n and_o to_o that_o proportion_n but_o it_o be_v true_a that_o it_o be_v notlong_o since_o i_o have_v the_o last_o but_o yet_o now_o so_o it_o be_v that_o when_o i_o have_v a_o mind_n to_o resist_v these_o rapt_n there_o seem_v to_o be_v somewhat_o of_o so_o mighty_a force_n under_o my_o foot_n which_o raise_v i_o up_o that_o i_o know_v not_o to_o what_o to_o compare_v it_o but_o it_o come_v with_o much_o more_o impetuositie_n than_o any_o of_o these_o other_o thing_n of_o spirit_n and_o so_o i_o be_v even_o tear_v as_o it_o be_v to_o piece_n for_o the_o combat_n and_o strife_n be_v great_a but_o in_o fine_a all_o help_v little_a for_o when_o our_o lord_n have_v a_o mind_n to_o do_v any_o thing_n no_o power_n be_v able_a to_o stand_v against_o it_o at_o other_o time_n he_o be_v please_v to_o content_v himself_o with_o let_v we_o see_v that_o he_o be_v dispose_v to_o do_v we_o that_o favour_n and_o that_o there_o be_v no_o aversion_n in_o his_o divine_a majesty_n and_o that_o we_o oppose_v ourselves_o for_o humility_n sake_n there_o follow_v yet_o the_o selfsame_a effect_n as_o if_o we_o have_v whole_o consent_v now_o these_o rapt_n effect_n be_v great_a for_o first_o the_o mighty_a power_n of_o our_o bless_a lord_n be_v make_v apparent_a thereby_o and_o that_o when_o his_o divine_a majesty_n be_v please_v to_o dispose_v of_o thing_n otherwise_o we_o be_v no_o more_o able_a to_o detain_v our_o body_n than_o our_o soul_n nor_o be_v we_o lord_n thereof_o but_o we_o must_v in_o despite_n of_o our_o heart_n acknowledge_v that_o there_o be_v a_o superior_a and_o that_o these_o favour_n come_v from_o he_o and_o that_o of_o ourselves_o we_o can_v do_v nothing_o in_o nothing_o and_o so_o a_o great_a impression_n of_o humility_n be_v make_v upon_o the_o soul_n by_o this_o mean_n and_o further_o i_o confess_v that_o it_o breed_v also_o a_o great_a fear_n in_o i_o and_o at_o the_o first_o a_o extreme_a great_a one_o to_o see_v that_o a_o massy_a body_n shall_v be_v taken-up_a from_o the_o earth_n for_o though_o the_o spirit_n be_v that_o which_o draw_v it_o after_o it_o and_o though_o it_o be_v with_o great_a suavitie_n and_o delight_n if_o it_o be_v not_o resist_v yet_o our_o sense_n be_v not_o lose_v thereby_o at_o least_o i_o for_o my_o part_n be_v so_o perfect_o in_o my_o sense_n that_o i_o be_v able_a to_o understand_v that_o i_o be_v raise_v there_o do_v also_o hereby_o appear_v so_o great_a a_o majesty_n in_o he_o who_o can_v do_v this_o that_o it_o make_v even_o the_o very_a hair_n of_o the_o head_n stand_v on_o end_n and_o there_o remain_v a_o mighty_a fear_n to_o offend_v so_o great_a a_o god_n but_o yet_o so_o as_o that_o it_o be_v wrap_v up_o in_o a_o excessive_a kind_n of_o love_n which_o she_o begin_v to_o conceive_v even_o new_o and_o fresh_o again_o towards_o he_o who_o she_o find_v to_o carry_v so_o great_a a_o love_n to_o such_o rot_a worm_n as_o we_o be_v for_o now_o he_o seem_v not_o content_a with_o draw_v the_o soul_n only_o to_o himself_o in_o so_o particular_a and_o so_o certain_a a_o manner_n but_o that_o he_o will_v needs_o also_o draw_v the_o very_a body_n too_o even_o whilst_o it_o be_v so_o very_o mortal_a and_o compose_v of_o so_o filthy_a earth_n as_o we_o have_v make_v it_o by_o our_o sin_n this_o also_o leave_v in_o the_o soul_n a_o very_a strange_a kind_n of_o loosen_v and_o cast_v itself_o off_o from_o all_o the_o thing_n of_o this_o world_n whereof_o i_o know_v not_o how_o to_o express_v well_o what_o it_o be_v but_o i_o think_v i_o may_v well_o say_v that_o it_o be_v not_o only_o in_o some_o sort_n a_o different_a but_o also_o a_o great_a kind_n of_o thing_n than_o those_o other_o which_o work_n upon_o the_o only_o spirit_n import_n for_o though_o in_o those_o other_o visitation_n also_o there_o be_v a_o kind_n of_o total_a untie_n and_o loosen_v itself_o from_o all_o thing_n for_o as_o much_o as_o concern_v the_o spirit_n yet_o here_o it_o seem_v our_o lord_n be_v please_v that_o even_o the_o body_n also_o itself_o shall_v put_v this_o point_n in_o practice_n and_o it_o breed_v in_o any_o creature_n such_o a_o new_a kind_n of_o shynesse_n and_o mislike_v in_o order_n to_o the_o thing_n of_o this_o world_n that_o it_o make_v even_o our_o very_a life_n much_o the_o more_o painful_a to_o us._n it_o give_v also_o such_o another_o book_n pain_n as_o we_o can_v neither_o tell_v how_o to_o procure_v when_o we_o have_v it_o not_o nor_o free_v ourselves_o from_o the_o same_o when_o we_o have_v it_o and_o i_o will_v be_v extreme_o glad_a to_o be_v able_a to_o give_v this_o to_o be_v understand_v but_o i_o believe_v i_o shall_v not_o know_v how_o to_o do_v it_o though_o yet_o i_o will_v say_v somewhat_o if_o i_o be_v able_a but_o now_o it_o be_v to_o be_v note_v that_o these_o thing_n come_v upon_o i_o when_o i_o be_o as_o it_o be_v in_o the_o very_a evening_n of_o the_o day_n after_o all_o those_o vision_n and_o revelation_n whereof_o i_o will_v write_v &_o after_o the_o time_n when_o i_o use_v to_o hold_v that_o prayer_n wherein_o our_o lord_n be_v wont_a to_o allow_v i_o so_o great_a regalo_n and_o gust_n and_o though_o yet_o these_o thing_n do_v not_o cease_v with_o i_o at_o some_o time_n yet_o do_v this_o pain_n more_o often_o and_o more_o usual_o seize_v upon_o i_o which_o i_o will_v now_o declare_v it_o have_v sometime_o of_o the_o more_o and_o sometime_o of_o the_o less_o and_o now_o i_o will_v apply_v myself_o to_o speak_v of_o it_o as_o when_o it_o have_v of_o the_o more_o for_o though_o i_o will_v treat_v hereafter_o of_o those_o great_a impetuosity_n which_o they_o use_v to_o bring_v upon_o i_o before_o our_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o give_v i_o those_o rapt_n yet_o they_o have_v in_o my_o opinion_n no_o more_o to_o do_v by_o way_n of_o comparison_n one_o with_o another_o than_o there_o be_v between_o thing_n corporal_a and_o spiritual_a and_o i_o believe_v that_o i_o do_v not_o exaggerate_v the_o matter_n a_o whitt_n by_o say_v so_o because_o that_o pain_n seem_v to_o be_v such_o as_o that_o although_o the_o soul_n do_v feel_v it_o yet_o it_o feel_v it_o
stiff_a that_o i_o can_v possible_o sometime_o bring_v they_o together_o and_o so_o the_o pain_n remain_v till_o the_o next_o day_n after_o in_o my_o wrist_n and_o in_o my_o body_n in_o such_o a_o manner_n that_o it_o seem_v as_o if_o i_o be_v even_o rack_v and_o disjoint_v and_o i_o be_o sometime_o conceave_a that_o our_o lord_n may_v one_o day_n perhaps_o think_v fit_a in_o case_n this_o course_n go_v on_o to_o make_v it_o end_n with_o the_o very_a end_n of_o my_o life_n for_o so_o great_a a_o torment_n as_o this_o may_v well_o in_o my_o opinion_n be_v sufficient_a for_o so_o great_a a_o effect_n as_o that_o save_v only_o that_o i_o deserve_v not_o to_o be_v so_o happy_a all_o the_o anxiety_n of_o my_o desire_n consist_v at_o this_o time_n that_o i_o may_v die_v for_o i_o neither_o remember_v purgatory_n nor_o yet_o those_o great_a sin_n which_o i_o have_v commit_v for_o which_o i_o deserve_v hellfire_n but_o all_o be_v now_o forget_v through_o that_o anxiety_n of_o desire_n and_o appetite_n to_o see_v almighty_a god_n yea_o and_o that_o vast_a solitude_n and_o desert_n wherein_o i_o be_o at_o that_o time_n seem_v a_o much_o more_o desirable_a thing_n than_o all_o the_o sweet_a society_n of_o this_o world_n if_o any_o thing_n be_v of_o power_n to_o give_v her_o comfort_n in_o this_o case_n it_o will_v be_v that_o she_o may_v be_v able_a to_o treat_v with_o some_o one_o who_o have_v endure_v the_o same_o torment_n for_o now_o though_o she_o complain_v thereof_o it_o seem_v that_o no_o creature_n can_v tell_v how_o to_o believe_v she_o it_o also_o contribute_v to_o her_o torment_n that_o this_o pain_n be_v so_o extreme_a that_o she_o will_v feign_v neither_o be_v in_o solitude_n nor_o yet_o have_v company_n as_o other_o have_v but_o only_o to_o have_v the_o society_n of_o some_o such_o person_n as_o to_o who_o she_o may_v be_v able_a to_o make_v her_o complaint_n it_o be_v with_o she_o in_o in_o this_o case_n as_o with_o one_o who_o even_o have_v the_o halter_n about_o his_o neck_n and_o who_o whilst_o he_o be_v even_o strangle_v endeavour_n and_o will_v fain_o take_v his_o breath_n for_o just_a so_o i_o think_v do_v this_o inclination_n to_o have_v company_n seem_v to_o be_v a_o effect_n of_o our_o natural_a frailty_n and_o weakness_n that_o as_o this_o excessive_a pain_n seem_v to_o put_v we_o to_o imminent_a danger_n of_o death_n for_o it_o be_v certain_a that_o it_o do_v all_o this_o and_o i_o have_v see_v myself_o diverse_a time_n in_o this_o danger_n through_o my_o great_a sickness_n and_o other_o occasion_n as_o i_o have_v declare_v and_o i_o will_v believe_v that_o this_o may_v perhaps_o prove_v to_o be_v as_o great_a as_o any_o of_o the_o rest_n so_o the_o desire_n and_o inclination_n which_o both_o the_o body_n and_o soul_n have_v not_o to_o be_v part_v be_v that_o which_o seek_v such_o a_o kind_n of_o succour_n as_o to_o take_v breath_n and_o by_o express_v itself_o and_o divert_v and_o complain_v seek_v yet_o for_o some_o mean_n how_o to_o live_v again_o here_o below_o though_o still_o much_o against_o the_o will_n of_o the_o spirit_n or_o superior_a part_n of_o the_o soul_n which_o will_v fain_o not_o be_v quit_v of_o this_o pain_n i_o know_v not_o whether_o i_o hit_v right_a in_o what_o i_o say_v or_o if_o i_o know_v indeed_o how_o to_o do_v it_o but_o to_o the_o uttermost_a and_o best_a of_o my_o opinion_n it_o pass_v just_a thus_o as_o i_o have_v declare_v and_o now_o your_o reverence_n shall_v do_v well_o to_o consider_v what_o kind_n of_o rest_n or_o ease_n it_o be_v possible_a for_o i_o to_o enjoy_v in_o this_o life_n since_o that_o which_o i_o be_v wont_a to_o find_v by_o mean_n of_o solitude_n and_o prayer_n for_o therein_o our_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o give_v i_o great_a consolation_n be_v now_o most_o usual_o convert_v into_o this_o torment_n which_o yet_o withal_o be_v so_o delicious_a a_o kind_n of_o thing_n and_o the_o soul_n perceive_v it_o to_o be_v of_o so_o high_a value_n that_o now_o she_o delight_v in_o it_o more_o then_o in_o all_o those_o other_o regalo_n which_o she_o be_v ever_o wont_a to_o possess_v for_o she_o hold_v it_o to_o be_v more_o secure_a as_o be_v the_o way_n of_o the_o cross_n and_o it_o give_v also_o in_o my_o opinion_n a_o gust_n which_o be_v of_o mighty_a worth_n for_o she_o allow_v nothing_o at_o all_o to_o the_o body_n but_o pain_n and_o the_o soul_n be_v that_o which_o original_o suffer_v and_o do_v only_o feel_v that_o joy_n and_o high_a contentment_n which_o this_o very_a suffering_n give_v she_o i_o know_v not_o how_o all_o this_o can_v be_v but_o yet_o it_o pass_v so_o in_o very_a truth_n that_o forasmuch_o as_o i_o can_v understand_v of_o myself_o i_o will_v not_o change_v this_o favour_n which_o our_o lord_n do_v i_o and_o which_o proceed_v as_o i_o have_v say_v from_o his_o hand_n and_o be_v no_o way_n acquire_v by_o i_o as_o be_v whole_o supernatural_a in_o itself_o for_o all_o those_o other_o which_o i_o i_o shall_v here_o declare_v afterward_o i_o say_v not_o for_o all_o they_o together_o but_o for_o any_o one_o of_o they_o be_v take_v several_o by_o itself_o and_o here_o let_v it_o not_o be_v forget_v how_o i_o say_v that_o these_o impetuosity_n or_o impulse_n which_o be_v describe_v here_o arrive_v after_o the_o favour_n which_o our_o lord_n do_v i_o first_o as_o also_o after_o all_o that_o whereof_o i_o will_v write_v in_o this_o book_n yea_o &_o even_o after_o my_o entrance_n into_o the_o favour_n which_o i_o be_o enjoy_v at_o this_o present_a and_o i_o find_v myself_o in_o the_o beginning_n to_o be_v in_o some_o fear_n as_o in_o effect_n it_o happen_v to_o i_o always_o whensoever_o it_o please_v our_o lord_n to_o do_v i_o any_o favour_n till_o at_o least_o in_o the_o proceed_n thereof_o i_o may_v have_v receive_v some_o kind_n of_o security_n from_o his_o divine_a majesty_n he_o will_v i_o not_o to_o fear_v but_o to_o esteem_v this_o favour_n for_o great_a than_o all_o those_o other_o be_v which_o he_o have_v former_o be_v please_v to_o vouchsafe_v i_o because_o the_o soul_n be_v purify_v by_o this_o pain_n and_o for_o that_o it_o be_v burnish_v &_o refine_v here_o as_o gold_n may_v be_v in_o the_o chrysuble_a that_o so_o it_o may_v be_v the_o more_o capable_a to_o receive_v those_o enamel_n and_o ornament_n of_o his_o gift_n and_o grace_n and_o that_o so_o that_o be_v to_o be_v wipe_v away_o which_o will_v otherwise_o have_v make_v work_n for_o purgatory_n i_o understand_v very_o well_o even_o before_o that_o this_o be_v a_o great_a favour_n but_o yet_o i_o remain_v with_o much_o more_o security_n after_o this_o and_o my_o ghostly_a father_n also_o tell_v i_o that_o it_o be_v good_a and_o though_o i_o be_v former_o afraid_a yet_o because_o i_o be_o so_o wicked_a i_o can_v never_o bring_v myself_o to_o believe_v that_o it_o be_v ill_a but_o rather_o the_o very_a greatness_n itself_o of_o the_o benefit_n give_v i_o a_o kind_n of_o fear_n when_o i_o remember_v how_o very_o far_o i_o have_v be_v from_o deserve_v it_o but_o bless_a be_v our_o lord_n who_o be_v so_o good_a amen_n it_o seem_v that_o i_o have_v go_v from_o the_o purpose_n for_o i_o be_v beginning_n to_o speak_v of_o rapt_n and_o this_o which_o now_o i_o have_v say_v be_v a_o great_a thing_n than_o a_o rapt_v and_o so_o it_o leave_v those_o effect_n in_o the_o soul_n which_o i_o have_v relate_v and_o therefore_o let_v we_o now_o return_v to_o speak_v of_o rapt_n and_o of_o that_o which_o be_v most_o usual_a therein_o i_o say_v then_o that_o it_o seem_v to_o i_o many_o time_n that_o it_o rapt_n leave_v my_o whole_a body_n so_o light_a that_o all_o the_o weight_n thereof_o be_v utter_o go_v yea_o and_o sometime_o to_o such_o a_o kind_n of_o proportion_n as_o in_o effect_n i_o know_v not_o how_o to_o set_v so_o much_o as_o my_o foot_n upon_o the_o ground_n though_o yet_o when_o the_o soul_n be_v in_o rapt_v the_o body_n remain_v apart_o as_o if_o it_o be_v utter_o dead_a be_v able_a many_o time_n to_o do_v absolute_o nothing_o at_o all_o of_o itself_o but_o as_o it_o chance_v to_o be_v at_o the_o time_n so_o it_o remain_v whether_o it_o be_v sit_v or_o no_o or_o whether_o it_o have_v the_o hand_n either_o open_a or_o close_v for_o though_o she_o lose_v her_o sense_n some_o few_o time_n and_o the_o same_o have_v also_o happen_v to_o i_o now_o and_o then_o yet_o have_v they_o seldom_o be_v total_o lose_v and_o that_o but_o for_o a_o very_a short_a time_n at_o once_o the_o most_o usual_a effect_n be_v wont_a to_o be_v that_o she_o find_v herself_o a_o little_a in_o
disorder_n and_o though_o she_o can_v do_v nothing_o of_o herself_o forasmuch_o as_o may_v concern_v the_o ministry_n of_o the_o exterior_a part_n yet_o leave_v she_o not_o to_o understand_v yea_o and_o also_o to_o hear_v as_o if_o a_o thing_n be_v speak_v to_o she_o from_o far_o off_o i_o say_v not_o that_o she_o either_o understand_v or_o hear_v when_o she_o be_v in_o the_o high_a part_n of_o the_o rapt_v i_o say_v in_o the_o very_o high_a at_o those_o time_n when_o the_o faculty_n or_o power_n be_v lose_v because_o then_o they_o be_v very_o straight_o unite_v to_o almighty_a god_n and_o then_o in_o my_o opinion_n she_o neither_o see_v nor_o hear_v but_o as_o i_o be_v say_v in_o the_o former_a prayer_n of_o union_n this_o total_a transform_v of_o the_o soul_n into_o god_n be_v wont_a to_o continue_v little_a yet_o for_o the_o time_n it_o last_v no_o power_n of_o the_o soul_n either_o feel_v or_o do_v so_o much_o as_o know_v what_o pass_v there_o and_o this_o seem_v to_o be_v after_o this_o manner_n to_o the_o end_n that_o man_n may_v understand_v that_o it_o be_v not_o god_n will_n that_o we_o shall_v know_v it_o and_o belike_o we_o be_v not_o capable_a thereof_o at_o least_o it_o have_v pass_v thus_o with_o i_o but_o now_o your_o reverence_n will_v peradventure_o ask_v i_o how_o then_o it_o can_v come_v to_o pass_v that_o a_o rapt_v shall_v be_v able_a to_o last_v so_o many_o hour_n to_o which_o i_o answer_v that_o the_o thing_n which_o have_v often_o occur_v to_o i_o be_v this_o that_o as_o i_o have_v declare_v already_o in_o the_o former_a prayer_n we_o enjoy_v rapt_n by_o certain_a interual_n and_o interruption_n for_o the_o soul_n do_v many_o time_n ingulfe_n itself_o or_o rather_o to_o speak_v both_o more_o proper_o and_o more_o true_o our_o lord_n ingulf_v the_o soul_n into_o he_o and_o entertain_v she_o so_o a_o while_n and_o then_o there_o remain_v that_o only_o faculty_n of_o she_o which_o be_v the_o will._n now_o i_o think_v that_o business_n and_o bustle_v of_o the_o other_o two_o faculty_n and_o power_n be_v like_o those_o comparison_n little_a needle_n of_o sunne-dyals_n which_o usual_o do_v never_o stand_v still_o but_o yet_o when_o the_o sun_n of_o justice_n have_v a_o mind_n to_o it_o he_o make_v they_o stable_n and_o firm_a now_o this_o i_o say_v last_v but_o a_o very_a little_a while_n but_o yet_o since_o the_o impulse_n and_o impetuositie_n be_v great_a and_o the_o exaltation_n of_o the_o spirit_n high_a the_o will_n remain_v ingulf_v and_o behave_v itself_o like_o a_o sovereign_a lady_n over_o all_o those_o operation_n which_o concern_v the_o body_n though_o those_o other_o faculty_n and_o power_n of_o the_o mind_n be_v in_o agitation_n and_o disorder_n and_o so_o also_o since_o those_o other_o two_o say_v unquiet_a and_o disorderlie_a power_n have_v a_o mind_n to_o disturb_v and_o distract_v the_o will_n for_o of_o enemy_n the_o few_o ever_o the_o better_a the_o sense_n be_v not_o suffer_v to_o divert_v it_o and_o so_o it_o grow_v from_o hence_o that_o they_o be_v also_o suspend_v because_o our_o bless_a lord_n be_v so_o please_v and_o for_o the_o most_o part_n the_o eye_n be_v shut_v though_o yet_o we_o have_v no_o intention_n to_o shut_v they_o and_o though_o by_o accident_n they_o may_v be_v open_a sometime_o yet_o as_o i_o say_v before_o she_o do_v not_o fix_v or_o aim_n or_o consider_v at_o least_o at_o all_o what_o she_o see_v but_o now_o the_o body_n here_o be_v much_o less_o able_a to_o do_v any_o thing_n with_o itself_o in_o order_n to_o that_o time_n when_o the_o say_v power_n shall_v return_v to_o be_v unite_v for_o then_o there_o will_v not_o be_v much_o for_o it_o to_o do_v and_o therefore_o let_v he_o to_o who_o our_o lord_n shall_v vouchsafe_v this_o favour_n not_o be_v discomfort_a at_o all_o if_o then_o he_o chance_v to_o find_v both_o the_o body_n to_o be_v as_o it_o be_v bind_v up_o many_o hour_n yea_o and_o even_o his_o very_a understanding_n and_o memory_n to_o be_v divert_v sometime_o true_a it_o be_v that_o soul_n be_v ordinary_o in_o this_o case_n even_o drench_v yea_o and_o as_o it_o be_v drown_v in_o the_o praise_n of_o almighty_a god_n and_o in_o desire_v also_o to_o comprehend_v and_o understand_v that_o which_o have_v pass_v with_o themselves_o and_o yet_o even_o for_o this_o purpose_n they_o use_v not_o to_o be_v very_o well_o awake_v but_o rather_o like_o some_o one_o who_o have_v sleep_v and_o dream_v and_o be_v not_o yet_o come_v very_o well_o again_o to_o himself_o i_o declare_v my_o thought_n so_o large_o herein_o because_o i_o know_v there_o be_v person_n at_o this_o time_n yea_o &_o even_o in_o this_o very_a place_n to_o who_o our_o lord_n do_v these_o favour_n and_o yet_o if_o they_o who_o direct_v they_o have_v want_v the_o experience_n of_o these_o thing_n perhaps_o they_o will_v conceive_v that_o they_o be_v to_o be_v as_o it_o be_v dead_a in_o these_o rapt_n especial_o if_o these_o directour_n be_v not_o learned_a man_n and_o it_o be_v matter_n both_o of_o pity_n and_o grief_n to_o consider_v how_o much_o be_v suffer_v by_o mean_n of_o such_o ghostly_a father_n as_o do_v not_o understand_v this_o business_n which_o i_o will_v declare_v afterward_o perhaps_o i_o know_v not_o well_o what_o i_o say_v but_o your_o reverence_n will_v easy_o understand_v if_o i_o hit_v any_o thing_n right_a since_o our_o lord_n have_v already_o give_v you_o experience_n therein_o though_o yet_o because_o it_o be_v not_o long_o since_o you_o begin_v you_o will_v not_o peradventure_o have_v consider_v it_o so_o much_o as_o i_o but_o now_o though_o i_o endeavour_v rapt_n much_o and_o many_o time_n yet_o the_o body_n have_v not_o strength_n wherewith_o to_o stir_v itself_o but_o the_o soul_n carry_v it_o all_o along_o with_o she_o the_o person_n who_o be_v sick_a do_v thus_o recover_v health_n many_o time_n and_o she_o who_o be_v full_a of_o weakness_n and_o pain_n recover_v strength_n for_o they_o be_v great_a thing_n which_o be_v bestow_v in_o these_o case_n and_o sometime_o our_o lord_n be_v please_v as_o i_o be_v say_v that_o the_o body_n shall_v also_o feel_v his_o part_n of_o joy_n since_o already_o it_o yield_v obedience_n to_o that_o which_o the_o soul_n desire_v when_o once_o she_o be_v return_v into_o herself_o it_o will_v happen_v to_o she_o if_o the_o rapt_v have_v be_v great_a to_o go_v a_o day_n or_o two_o yea_o and_o sometime_o three_o with_o the_o power_n so_o absorb_v and_o as_o it_o be_v stupify_v that_o they_o seem_v not_o to_o be_v altogether_o themselves_o but_o now_o here_o comes-in_a the_o pain_n to_o be_v able_a to_o know_v again_o how_o to_o live_v here_o be_v our_o feather_n imp_v and_o here_o be_v the_o sick_a one_o fall_v off_o and_o here_o be_v the_o banner_n of_o christ_n our_o lord_n so_o direct_o raised-up_a and_o display_v that_o now_o there_o seem_v to_o remain_v no_o more_o but_o that_o the_o captain_n of_o this_o fort_n may_v either_o get_v up_o himself_o or_o else_o may_v instant_o be_v carried-up_a to_o the_o high_a tower_n there_o to_o plant_v the_o say_a standard_n for_o the_o glory_n of_o almighty_a god_n she_o look_v now_o upon_o they_o who_o be_v below_o as_o one_o who_o be_v already_o in_o safety_n for_o now_o she_o be_v so_o far_o from_o fear_v danger_n that_o she_o rather_o wish_n for_o they_o as_o a_o person_n to_o who_o in_o some_o sort_n a_o security_n for_o obtain_v victory_n be_v design_v she_o see_v now_o very_o clear_o the_o little_a that_o all_o worldly_a thing_n ought_v to_o be_v esteeem_v or_o rather_o the_o direct_v nothing_o which_o all_o thing_n be_v they_o who_o be_v seat_v very_o high_a be_v able_a to_o discover_v very_o much_o already_o she_o renounce_v the_o have_v of_o any_o will_n and_o be_v resolve_v to_o have_v no_o other_o then_o that_o which_o be_v the_o will_n of_o our_o lord_n and_o she_o give_v he_o also_o the_o key_n of_o she_o so_o that_o now_o she_o who_o be_v the_o gardener_n be_v grow_v to_o be_v the_o governor_n of_o the_o house_n nor_o will_v she_o do_v any_o thing_n at_o all_o but_o according_a to_o the_o will_n of_o the_o lord_n thereof_o nor_o will_v she_o be_v lady_n so_o much_o as_o of_o herself_o no_o nor_o of_o any_o thing_n nor_o even_o of_o any_o single_a well_o of_o that_o garden_n and_o if_o there_o be_v any_o thing_n in_o she_o which_o be_v good_a she_o desire_v that_o his_o divine_a majesty_n may_v dispose_v thereof_o for_o she_o will_v not_o from_o that_o time_n forward_o possess_v any_o kind_n of_o thing_n whereof_o the_o propriety_n may_v be_v she_o own_o but_o covet_v that_o all_o thing_n may_v be_v entire_o do_v in_o conformity_n to_o the_o
will_n of_o our_o bless_a lord_n and_o for_o his_o glory_n now_o real_o and_o with_o effect_n all_o these_o thing_n be_v wont_a to_o pass_v in_o this_o manner_n if_o the_o rapt_n be_v true_a and_o the_o soul_n be_v vest_v with_o those_o advantage_n and_o benefit_n which_o be_v relate_v and_o if_o these_o do_v not_o follow_v i_o shall_v be_v apt_a to_o doubt_v very_o much_o that_o they_o be_v not_o rapt_n on_o the_o part_n of_o god_n but_o shall_v rather_o be_v incline_v to_o fear_v that_o they_o be_v of_o that_o kind_n of_o rave_n whereof_o s._n vincent_n speak_v at_o least_o this_o be_v what_o i_o understand_v and_o i_o have_v see_v by_o experience_n itself_o that_o the_o soul_n be_v wont_a in_o these_o case_n to_o become_v a_o lady_n and_o queen_n over_o all_o creature_n and_o to_o acquire_v so_o much_o liberty_n of_o spirit_n in_o less_o than_o a_o hour_n that_o she_o can_v even_o know_v herself_o but_o yet_o she_o well_o understand_v that_o all_o this_o be_v none_o of_o her_o own_o nor_o do_v she_o know_v how_o she_o can_v come_v to_o obtain_v so_o great_a a_o blessing_n but_o yet_o still_o she_o understand_v withal_o the_o extreme_a great_a benefit_n and_o advantage_n which_o every_o one_o of_o these_o rapt_n bring_v upon_o she_o there_o be_v no_o creature_n who_o can_v credit_v all_o this_o but_o such_o a_o one_o as_o have_v learn_v it_o by_o experience_n and_o therefore_o man_n believe_v not_o the_o poor_a soul_n which_o they_o have_v see_v to_o be_v wicked_a and_o now_o find_v so_o very_o soon_o to_o pretend_v to_o do_v certain_a thing_n of_o so_o high_a importance_n for_o instant_o she_o resolve_v not_o to_o be_v content_a to_o serve_v our_o lord_n in_o small_a matter_n but_o in_o the_o very_o great_a she_o can_v now_o the_o world_n be_v apt_a to_o conceive_v that_o such_o endeavour_n be_v but_o impertinency_n and_o temptation_n and_o yet_o if_o man_n will_v but_o understand_v and_o consider_v that_o they_o be_v not_o thing_n which_o grow_v from_o themselves_o but_o from_o our_o bless_a lord_n to_o who_o they_o have_v already_o delivered-up_a the_o key_n of_o their_o will_n they_o will_v not_o so_o much_o wonder_n at_o it_o for_o my_o part_n i_o be_o of_o opinion_n that_o a_o soul_n which_o come_v once_o to_o this_o state_n do_v already_o neither_o do_v nor_o even_o say_v any_o thing_n of_o herself_o but_o that_o this_o sovereign_a king_n have_v care_n of_o all_o that_o which_o be_v to_o occur_v o_o my_o dear_a god_n and_o how_o clear_o do_v a_o soul_n see_v here_o the_o sense_n and_o signification_n of_o that_o verse_n and_o how_o it_o be_v to_o be_v understand_v that_o both_o he_o have_v reason_n and_o that_o all_o the_o world_n shall_v also_o have_v it_o to_o desire_v the_o wing_n of_o a_o dove_n for_o it_o be_v easy_o and_o clear_o to_o be_v understand_v of_o that_o flight_n which_o the_o spirit_n make_v whereby_o to_o raise_v itself_o above_o all_o creature_n and_o in_o the_o first_o place_n from_o and_o above_o herself_o but_o this_o be_v a_o sweet_a flight_n a_o gustfull_a and_o pleasant_a flight_n and_o a_o flight_n without_o noise_n what_o kind_n of_o dominion_n do_v such_o a_o soul_n possess_v which_o our_o lord_n do_v once_o conduct_n to_o this_o pitch_n that_o she_o may_v be_v able_a to_o look_v down_o upon_o all_o thing_n without_o be_v once_o entangle_v by_o any_o of_o they_o and_o how_o full_a of_o confusion_n will_v she_o be_v for_o that_o time_n wherein_o she_o be_v entangle_v before_o and_o how_o much_o will_v she_o be_v amaze_v to_o looke-back_a upon_o that_o blindness_n of_o she_o how_o full_a will_v she_o be_v of_o compassion_n for_o such_o as_o do_v yet_o remain_v therein_o especial_o if_o they_o be_v person_n of_o prayer_n and_o such_o as_o it_o please_v god_n to_o regale_n she_o will_v here_o be_v glad_a to_o cry_v out_o very_o loud_a that_o so_o she_o may_v make_v man_n understand_v how_o mighty_o they_o be_v abuse_v and_o deceive_v yea_o and_o so_o she_o also_o do_v sometime_o and_o then_o man_n be_v apt_a to_o rain_v down_o even_o whole_a shower_n of_o persecution_n upon_o her_o head_n and_o they_o treat_v she_o as_o one_o who_o want_v humility_n and_o who_o employ_v herself_o to_o teach_v those_o person_n of_o who_o she_o may_v do_v well_o to_o learn_v and_o especial_o if_o she_o be_v a_o woman_n for_o then_o come_v they_o in_o to_o condemn_v she_o yea_o and_o perhaps_o they_o may_v have_v reason_n because_o they_o know_v not_o by_o what_o impulse_n she_o be_v move_v but_o yet_o as_o she_o know_v not_o how_o to_o help_v herself_o on_o the_o one_o side_n so_o also_o can_v she_o not_o forbear_v on_o the_o other_o to_o unbeguile_v those_o person_n who_o she_o love_v &_o who_o she_o desire_v to_o see_v unfetter_v from_o the_o prison_n of_o this_o life_n for_o that_o state_n wherein_o she_o be_v neither_o seem_v less_o nor_o be_v less_o than_o a_o prison_n she_o be_v also_o much_o afflict_v and_o tire_v out_o with_o the_o thought_n of_o that_o time_n wherein_o she_o take_v any_o care_n of_o point_n of_o honour_n and_o for_o the_o gross_a false_a error_n wherein_o she_o be_v to_o have_v believe_v that_o to_o be_v honour_n which_o the_o world_n call_v honour_n for_o she_o see_v that_o it_o be_v a_o abominable_a lie_n and_o yet_o that_o ever_o ie_fw-fr body_n live_v in_o practice_n of_o that_o false_a doctrine_n but_o now_o this_o soul_n understand_v and_o know_v that_o right_a honour_n be_v not_o false_a but_o true_a esteem_v that_o to_o be_v worth_a somewhat_o which_o indeed_o be_v so_o and_o hold_v that_o which_o indeed_o be_v nothing_o in_o no_o account_n at_o all_o since_o all_o be_v nothing_o and_o less_o than_o nothing_o which_o once_o come_v to_o have_v a_o end_n and_o in_o the_o mean_a time_n do_v not_o please_v almighty_a god_n she_o despise_v also_o and_o laugh_v at_o herself_o for_o the_o time_n wherein_o she_o make_v any_o account_n of_o money_n and_o of_o the_o covetous_a desire_n thereof_o though_o yet_o in_o this_o particular_a i_o do_v not_o believe_v and_o certain_o it_o be_v very_o true_a that_o i_o ever_o have_v any_o fault_n to_o confess_v but_o it_o will_v have_v be_v fault_n enough_o to_o have_v hold_v they_o in_o any_o manner_n of_o account_n if_o with_o they_o i_o have_v be_v able_a to_o buy_v these_o blessing_n which_o now_o i_o find_v in_o myself_o i_o may_v have_v esteem_v they_o very_o much_o but_o now_o the_o soul_n perceive_v that_o this_o blessing_n be_v get_v best_a by_o leave_v all_o thing_n but_o what_o in_o fine_a be_v that_o which_o can_v be_v buy_v with_o this_o money_n which_o we_o so_o much_o desire_v be_v it_o any_o thing_n of_o true_a worth_n be_v it_o any_o thing_n which_o be_v durable_a or_o to_o what_o end_n do_v we_o desire_v it_o a_o miserable_a kind_n of_o supply_n and_o repose_v do_v we_o procure_v by_o that_o which_o cost_v we_o so_o dear_a for_o we_o often_o go_v with_o it_o to_o hell_n and_o we_o buy_v no_o other_o thing_n by_o mean_n thereof_o then_o endless_a torment_n in_o everlasting_a fire_n o_o that_o all_o man_n will_v at_o length_n resolve_v to_o hold_v it_o but_o for_o earth_n which_o be_v good_a for_o nothing_o how_o orderly_o will_v the_o world_n then_o proceed_v how_o free_a will_v all_o place_n be_v from_o unjust_a contract_n &_o how_o sincere_o will_v all_o man_n perform_v act_n of_o friendship_n if_o once_o there_o reign_v no_o interest_n either_o of_o honour_n or_o money_n in_o the_o mind_n of_o man_n for_o my_o part_n i_o conceive_v that_o the_o world_n will_v be_v reduce_v to_o good_a order_n this_o soul_n see_v also_o then_o that_o there_o be_v a_o great_a blindness_n in_o the_o conceit_n which_o man_n frame_v about_o the_o delight_n of_o this_o world_n and_o how_o we_o buy_v nothing_o by_o their_o mean_n even_o for_o this_o very_a life_n which_o we_o lead_v here_o but_o affliction_n and_o disquiet_v how_o great_a disquiet_n and_o how_o little_a contentment_n and_o in_o fine_a what_o a_o deal_n of_o labour_v in_o vain_a and_o here_o be_v the_o soul_n able_a to_o discern_v not_o only_o gross_a cobweb_n and_o great_a fault_n but_o even_o any_o poor_a grain_n of_o dust_n how_o little_a soever_o it_o may_v be_v and_o so_o how_o much_o soever_o she_o may_v have_v labour_v to_o perfect_v herself_o if_o once_o the_o sun_n shine_v bright_a and_o if_o the_o same_o sun_n strike_v it_o through_o with_o those_o beam_n in_o good_a earnest_n she_o will_v find_v it_o to_o be_v dusty_a enough_o it_o be_v like_o a_o glass_n full_a of_o water_n which_o you_o will_v hold_v to_o be_v very_o clear_a and_o pure_a unless_o the_o sun_n shine_v upon_o it_o but_o if_o you_o see_v it_o once_o fall_v upon_o
whosoever_o be_v of_o experience_n may_v very_o easy_o discern_v and_o now_o i_o have_v set_v down_o the_o effect_n which_o those_o rapt_n that_o proceed_v from_o the_o spirit_n of_o almighty_a god_n be_v wont_a to_o produce_v it_o be_v true_a that_o some_o of_o they_o do_v it_o more_o and_o some_o less_o i_o say_v less_o because_o though_o in_o the_o beginning_n they_o work_v yet_o then_o the_o effect_n be_v not_o see_v experimental_o by_o way_n of_o outward_a expression_n nor_o can_v it_o be_v yet_o so_o well_o perceive_v that_o they_o have_v they_o and_o beside_o the_o perfection_n thereof_o go_v increase_v and_o the_o soul_n go_v procure_v that_o there_o may_v now_o be_v no_o memory_n of_o imperfection_n which_o will_v appear_v if_o there_o be_v any_o like_v so_o many_o cobweb_n and_o this_o now_o require_v some_o time_n and_o by_o how_o much_o the_o more_o humility_n and_o the_o love_n of_o our_o lord_n increase_v in_o the_o soul_n so_o much_o the_o more_o sweet_a and_o fresh_a odour_n will_v these_o flower_n of_o virtue_n be_v sure_a to_o give_v both_o to_o themselves_o and_o other_o and_o it_o be_v most_o certain_o true_a that_o our_o lord_n know_v how_o to_o work_v so_o well_o upon_o any_o soul_n in_o one_o of_o these_o rapt_n that_o there_o will_v not_o much_o remain_v for_o the_o soul_n herself_o to_o work_v and_o labour_n in_o towards_o the_o acquire_n of_o perfection_n for_o no_o creature_n be_v able_a to_o believe_v without_o direct_a experience_n upon_o himself_o how_o much_o it_o please_v our_o lord_n to_o bestow_v upon_o a_o soul_n in_o such_o a_o occasion_n as_o this_o nor_o be_v there_o any_o kind_n of_o diligence_n of_o we_o which_o can_v in_o my_o opinion_n attain_v it_o i_o say_v not_o but_o that_o by_o the_o favour_n of_o our_o lord_n such_o as_o employ_v themselves_o many_o year_n by_o those_o way_n which_o they_o prescribe_v who_o write_v of_o prayer_n both_o concern_v the_o beginning_n and_o proceed_v thereof_o may_v arrive_v to_o perfection_n and_o to_o a_o total_a untie_n and_o loosen_a themselves_o from_o the_o thing_n of_o this_o world_n with_o much_o labour_n and_o pain_n but_o never_o in_o so_o short_a a_o time_n whereas_o here_o our_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o work_v it_o &_o that_o present_o without_o any_o labour_n of_o we_o and_o he_o express_o &_o clear_o draw_v the_o soul_n from_o the_o earth_n and_o whatsoever_o be_v earthly_a and_o he_o give_v she_o a_o absolute_a dominion_n over_o all_o thing_n which_o be_v therein_o though_o yet_o there_o be_v not_o in_o this_o soul_n any_o more_o true_a value_n or_o merit_n than_o there_o be_v even_o in_o i_o nor_o do_v i_o know_v how_o to_o exaggerate_v this_o point_n more_o for_o in_o i_o there_o be_v in_o effect_n none_o at_o all_o if_o now_o it_o chance_v to_o be_v ask_v why_o his_o divine_a majesty_n do_v it_o there_o be_v no_o other_o answer_n but_o because_o he_o be_v please_v to_o do_v it_o and_o he_o do_v it_o also_o just_a so_o as_o he_o be_v please_v and_o though_o sometime_o there_o be_v no_o disposition_n in_o she_o at_o all_o to_o receive_v it_o he_o yet_o dispose_v also_o the_o same_o to_o receive_v that_o benefit_n and_o blessing_n which_o his_o divine_a majesty_n be_v please_v to_o impart_v so_o that_o he_o give_v it_o not_o always_o because_o the_o gardener_n have_v deserve_v it_o by_o dress_v up_o and_o cultivate_a his_o garden_n well_o though_o yet_o it_o be_v very_o certain_a that_o whosoever_o do_v this_o as_o he_o ought_v and_o do_v procure_v withal_o to_o untie_v his_o whole_a affection_n from_o thing_n of_o this_o world_n will_v never_o fail_v to_o be_v regale_v by_o he_o but_o sometime_o because_o it_o be_v his_o pleasure_n as_o i_o have_v say_v to_o show_v his_o power_n and_o greatness_n even_o upon_o the_o most_o barren_a soil_n and_o to_o prepare_v it_o for_o the_o receive_v all_o kind_n of_o good_a so_o that_o now_o she_o seem_v not_o in_o some_o sort_n to_o have_v so_o much_o as_o a_o power_n to_o return_v to_o live_v in_o offence_n of_o almighty_a god_n as_o she_o be_v wont_a but_o she_o have_v her_o thought_n so_o habituate_v to_o understand_v what_o be_v truth_n indeed_o that_o all_o the_o rest_n seem_v but_o a_o foolery_n and_o fit_a to_o make_v sport_n for_o child_n she_o smile_v also_o in_o herself_o sometime_o when_o she_o find_v certain_a grave_a person_n who_o live_v in_o the_o exercise_n of_o prayer_n and_o religion_n make_v account_n of_o certain_a foolish_a point_n of_o honour_n which_o such_o a_o soul_n as_o this_o hold_v now_o to_o be_v direct_o under_o her_o foot_n some_o will_v say_v that_o this_o be_v but_o discretion_n and_o a_o preserve_n forsooth_o of_o their_o dignity_n and_o rank_n that_o so_o afterward_o they_o may_v be_v able_a to_o do_v the_o more_o good_a but_o that_o other_o soul_n understand_v very_o well_o that_o they_o may_v have_v do_v almighty_a god_n more_o service_n in_o one_o day_n if_o they_o will_v have_v make_v their_o authority_n and_o honour_n yield_v and_o shrink_v for_o the_o love_n of_o almighty_a god_n than_o they_o will_v ever_o do_v in_o ten_o year_n by_o uphold_v and_o authorise_v the_o same_o after_o their_o way_n but_o thus_o do_v this_o kind_n of_o soul_n lead_v a_o certain_a troublesome_a life_n and_o be_v ever_o subject_a to_o the_o cross_n though_o yet_o ever_o go_v on_o with_o increase_n and_o though_o the_o person_n who_o use_v to_o treat_v with_o she_o conceive_v she_o sometime_o to_o be_v even_o already_o at_o the_o very_a very_a top_n of_o perfection_n yet_o do_v they_o find_v short_o after_o that_o still_o she_o grow_v to_o be_v more_o improve_v for_o our_o lord_n go_v ever_o favour_v she_o more_o and_o more_o god_n himself_o be_v in_o effect_n her_o soul_n and_o it_o be_v he_o who_o have_v already_o take_v the_o charge_n of_o she_o into_o his_o hand_n and_o he_o shine_v even_o bright_o in_o she_o and_o seem_v to_o be_v assist_v she_o after_o a_o kind_n of_o evident_a manner_n both_o that_o she_o may_v not_o offend_v he_o and_o by_o continual_o also_o favour_v and_o stir_v she_o still_o up_o to_o serve_v he_o when_o once_o my_o soul_n arrive_v so_o far_o as_o that_o almighty_a god_n may_v be_v please_v to_o do_v she_o this_o great_a favour_n my_o misery_n and_o sin_n do_v cease_v even_o all_o at_o once_o and_o our_o lord_n give_v i_o strength_n to_o quit_v they_o and_o it_o move_v i_o no_o more_o to_o be_v afterward_o in_o those_o occasion_n of_o imperfection_n and_o with_o person_n who_o have_v former_o be_v wont_a to_o to_o bring_v distraction_n upon_o i_o then_o if_o i_o have_v not_o be_v there_o at_o all_o nay_o rather_o that_o which_o be_v wont_a to_o damnifve_v i_o grow_v to_o assist_v i_o now_o and_o all_o thing_n be_v now_o fit_a mean_n to_o make_v i_o know_v god_n more_o and_o to_o love_v he_o better_o and_o to_o see_v how_o deep_o i_o be_v oblige_v to_o he_o and_o to_o make_v i_o in_o fine_a very_o sorry_a for_o what_o i_o have_v be_v but_o yet_o i_o well_o understand_v withal_o that_o this_o come_v no_o way_n from_o i_o nor_o have_v i_o grow_v to_o gain_v it_o by_o any_o diligence_n of_o my_o own_o nor_o indeed_o have_v i_o even_o have_v time_n for_o it_o but_o only_o his_o divine_a majesty_n through_o the_o mere_a and_o only_o motive_n of_o his_o own_o goodness_n have_v give_v i_o strength_n for_o this_o purpose_n from_o the_o time_n when_o our_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o afford_v i_o the_o favour_n of_o these_o rapt_n this_o strength_n have_v go_v on_o with_o increase_n and_o he_o have_v also_o hold_v i_o so_o fast_o with_o his_o hand_n that_o i_o may_v not_o return_v back_o again_o any_o more_o and_o now_o i_o think_v that_o it_o be_v nothing_o at_o all_o which_o i_o do_v on_o my_o part_n but_o i_o understand_v in_o a_o very_a evident_a manner_n that_o our_o lord_n be_v he_o who_o work_v and_o therefore_o i_o be_o apt_a to_o be_v of_o opinion_n that_o the_o person_n to_o who_o our_o lord_n do_v show_v these_o favour_n suppose_v ever_o that_o with_o all_o humility_n and_o fear_v he_o will_v understand_v and_o acknowledge_v that_o it_o be_v our_o lord_n himself_o who_o do_v they_o and_o that_o in_o effect_n we_o do_v nothing_o at_o all_o in_o the_o business_n may_v put_v himself_o into_o any_o company_n and_o that_o how_o distract_v and_o vicious_a soever_o it_o be_v it_o will_v not_o move_v or_o even_o concern_v he_o but_o that_o rather_o it_o will_v be_v of_o help_n to_o he_o and_o minister_v he_o some_o occasion_n or_o other_o whereby_o he_o may_v reap_v more_o advantage_n for_o his_o own_o good_a for_o these_o be_v already_o make_v strong_a soul_n which_o our_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o
of_o my_o soul_n and_o my_o good_a thou_o christ_n our_o lord_n who_o be_v crucify_a i_o never_o call_v to_o mind_v the_o opinion_n which_o i_o entertain_v in_o this_o case_n but_o i_o be_o afflict_v by_o it_o for_o i_o conceive_v myself_o to_o have_v commit_v a_o huge_a treason_n therein_o against_o thou_o though_o yet_o my_o ignorance_n may_v peradventure_o have_v be_v some_o excuse_n i_o have_v be_v so_o particular_o devote_a to_o the_o person_n of_o christ_n our_o lord_n throughout_o the_o whole_a course_n of_o my_o life_n for_o this_o other_o proceed_v of_o i_o occur_v in_o the_o very_a latter_a part_n thereof_o i_o say_v in_o the_o very_a latter_a part_n immediate_o before_o our_o bless_a lord_n vouchsafe_v i_o those_o favour_n of_o rapt_n and_o vision_n i_o continue_v a_o very_a little_a while_n in_o this_o opinion_n and_o so_o i_o ever_o come_v quick_o back_o to_o delight_v myself_o with_o this_o dear_a lord_n of_o i_o and_o especial_o when_o i_o receive_v the_o bless_a sacrament_n i_o ever_o desire_v to_o have_v some_o picture_n of_o he_o in_o my_o eye_n since_o i_o be_v not_o able_a to_o carry_v he_o so_o deep_o engrave_v or_o stamp_v upon_o my_o soul_n as_o i_o can_v have_v wish_v but_o be_v it_o possible_a o_o my_o dear_a lord_n that_o ever_o any_o such_o thought_n as_o this_o shall_v be_v able_a to_o get_v in_o to_o my_o hart_n even_o for_o one_o single_a hour_n as_o that_o thou_o be_v to_o have_v be_v able_a to_o hinder_v my_o obtain_v my_o great_a good_n alas_o from_o whence_o come_v all_o the_o benediction_n and_o benefit_n which_o ever_o i_o receive_v but_o only_o from_o thou_o but_o i_o will_v not_o so_o much_o as_o think_v that_o real_o i_o be_v faulty_a herein_o but_o rather_o i_o be_o to_o pity_v myself_o for_o that_o which_o certain_o proceed_v from_o ignorance_n in_o i_o and_o so_o thou_o do_v vouchsafe_v through_o thy_o goodness_n to_o redress_v and_o assist_v i_o by_o help_v i_o to_o one_o afterward_o who_o may_v deliver_v i_o out_o of_o this_o error_n and_o beside_o also_o by_o make_v i_o able_a to_o see_v thou_o so_o often_o vision_n as_o i_o shall_v declare_v hereafter_o that_o so_o i_o may_v the_o more_o clear_o understand_v how_o great_a that_o ignorance_n of_o i_o be_v and_o final_o to_o the_o end_n that_o i_o may_v publish_v the_o same_o to_o many_o as_o i_o have_v do_v already_o and_o that_o now_o i_o may_v also_o record_v it_o here_o for_o my_o part_n i_o conceive_v that_o the_o reason_n why_o many_o soul_n get_v not_o forward_o in_o the_o way_n of_o profit_n and_o why_o they_o reach_v not_o to_o obtain_v some_o very_a great_a liberty_n of_o spirit_n when_o they_o arrive_v to_o use_v prayer_n of_o union_n be_v this_o very_a thing_n and_o i_o conceive_v that_o there_o be_v two_o reason_n upon_o which_o i_o may_v well_o ground_v this_o opinion_n and_o though_o perhaps_o that_o be_v of_o no_o moment_n which_o i_o be_o go_v to_o utter_v yet_o i_o will_v not_o forbear_v to_o do_v it_o because_o i_o have_v find_v by_o experience_n that_o it_o go_v very_o ill_o with_o my_o soul_n till_o it_o please_v our_o bless_a lord_n to_o give_v i_o light_n for_o all_o those_o joy_n which_o she_o take_v come_v to_o i_o but_o by_o sup_v and_o gulp_v and_o when_o once_o i_o be_v past_o the_o present_a occasion_n i_o find_v not_o myself_o to_o have_v such_o company_n and_o strength_n for_o the_o endure_a of_o tribulation_n and_o temptation_n as_o yet_o i_o meet_v with_o afterward_o but_o one_o of_o these_o reason_n why_o man_n get_v not_o forward_o be_v that_o there_o may_v peradventure_o go_v a_o dram_n of_o some_o certain_a little_a want_n of_o humility_n which_o lie_v hide_v and_o plaster_v over_o in_o such_o sort_n that_o even_o the_o person_n who_o be_v so_o faulty_a may_v perhaps_o not_o so_o very_o easy_o find_v it_o and_o who_o now_o will_v ever_o be_v so_o proud_a and_o wretched_a as_o i_o yea_o and_o that_o when_o he_o shall_v have_v labour_v throughout_o the_o whole_a course_n of_o his_o life_n and_o make_v as_o many_o prayer_n and_o suffer_v as_o many_o pennance_n and_o endure_v as_o many_o persecution_n as_o may_v be_v imagine_v will_v not_o yet_o find_v himself_o rich_a enough_o and_o abundant_o reward_v and_o pay_v for_o they_o all_o when_o our_o lord_n shall_v give_v he_o leave_v to_o remain_v at_o the_o foot_n of_o the_o cross_n with_o s._n john_n nay_o i_o know_v not_o into_o what_o brain_n it_o will_v sink_v but_o i_o not_o to_o be_v content_a with_o such_o a_o felicity_n as_o this_o who_o be_v ever_o a_o loose_a so_o many_o way_n in_o all_o those_o thing_n whereby_o i_o ought_v to_o have_v be_v a_o gainer_n but_o now_o though_o our_o miserable_a frail_a condition_n or_o else_o perhaps_o our_o sickness_n shall_v not_o permit_v we_o to_o be_v always_o reflect_v upon_o the_o passion_n of_o our_o bless_a lord_n yet_o at_o least_o what_o shall_v hinder_v we_o from_o remain_v with_o he_o now_o that_o he_o be_v rise_v again_o to_o glory_n since_o we_o have_v he_o so_o near_o we_o in_o the_o bless_a sacrament_n of_o the_o altar_n where_o we_o see_v he_o glorify_v now_o nor_o need_v we_o behold_v he_o there_o so_o distress_v and_o so_o afflict_v so_o tear_v in_o piece_n so_o overflow_a with_o blood_n so_o weary_v in_o those_o rugged_a highway_n so_o persecute_v by_o those_o who_o he_o benefit_v so_o high_o and_o the_o while_n not_o so_o much_o as_o to_o be_v believe_v in_o by_o his_o very_a apostle_n for_o it_o be_v most_o certain_o true_a that_o one_o have_v not_o always_o the_o hart_n to_o be_v even_o able_a to_o reflect_v upon_o so_o excessive_a affliction_n as_o he_o feel_v but_o now_o here_o we_o have_v he_o without_o pain_n and_o full_a of_o glory_n give_v strength_n of_o body_n to_o some_o and_o courage_n of_o mind_n to_o other_o before_o he_o ascend_v up_o to_o heaven_n he_o make_v himself_o even_o our_o companion_n in_o the_o bless_a sacrament_n yea_o and_o seem_v as_o if_o it_o have_v not_o be_v in_o his_o power_n to_o depart_v any_o one_o moment_n from_o we_o and_o that_o now_o it_o shall_v yet_o have_v be_v in_o i_o to_o part_v from_o thou_o o_o my_o lord_n yea_o and_o this_o that_o i_o may_v serve_v thou_o so_o much_o the_o better_o it_o let_v it_o pass_v my_o dear_a lord_n if_o it_o please_v thou_o that_o when_o i_o sin_v against_o thou_o i_o do_v not_o know_v thou_o but_o that_o now_o when_o i_o come_v to_o know_v thou_o i_o shall_v fancy_v a_o mean_n to_o myself_o of_o grow_v a_o great_a gainer_n by_o this_o way_n o_o what_o a_o ill_a way_n be_v that_o and_o now_o i_o find_v that_o indeed_o i_o have_v utter_o lose_v my_o way_n if_o thou_o o_o lord_n have_v not_o restore_v i_o to_o it_o for_o in_o see_v that_o thou_o be_v near_o i_o i_o have_v see_v that_o i_o have_v all_o good_a thing_n with_o thou_o nor_o do_v i_o ever_o meet_v with_o any_o affliction_n or_o trouble_v but_o as_o soon_o as_o i_o consider_v in_o what_o kind_n of_o miserable_a posture_n thou_o be_v carry_v and_o place_v before_o those_o judge_n it_o grow_v instant_o to_o be_v very_o easy_o bear_v with_o the_o presence_n of_o so_o dear_a a_o friend_n and_o under_o the_o conduct_n of_o so_o good_a a_o captain_n as_o be_v please_v to_o put_v himself_o in_o the_o foremost_a rank_n that_o so_o he_o may_v suffer_v most_o and_o first_o there_o be_v nothing_o which_o may_v not_o well_o be_v endure_v he_o assist_v and_o give_v strength_n and_o courage_n yea_o and_o never_o fail_v he_o be_v a_o very_o fast_o and_o true_a friend_n and_o i_o see_v clear_o and_o i_o have_v see_v it_o yet_o again_o that_o to_o the_o end_n we_o may_v be_v able_a to_o content_v almighty_a god_n and_o that_o he_o may_v pour_v great_a favour_n down_o upon_o we_o he_o be_v please_v that_o all_o shall_v pass_v by_o the_o hand_n of_o this_o most_o sacred_a humanity_n in_o which_o his_o divine_a majesty_n have_v declare_v that_o he_o be_v much_o delight_v i_o have_v see_v this_o truth_n by_o experience_n very_o very_o many_o time_n beside_o that_o our_o lord_n himself_o have_v tell_v vision_n i_o so_o i_o have_v also_o clear_o see_v that_o we_o be_v to_o enter_v in_o by_o this_o gate_n if_o we_o desire_v that_o his_o sovereign_a majesty_n shall_v communicate_v great_a secret_n to_o our_o soul_n so_o that_o sir_n i_o wish_v your_o reverence_n not_o to_o put_v yourself_o upon_o any_o other_o way_n than_o this_o though_o you_o shall_v be_v even_o upon_o the_o very_a high_a top_n of_o contemplation_n for_o here_o you_o shall_v find_v yourself_o safe_a since_o this_o lord_n of_o we_o be_v he_o by_o who_o mean_n we_o be_v to_o receive_v all_o
last_v no_o long_o than_o the_o open_n as_o it_o be_v and_o shut_v of_o a_o eye_n for_o then_o in_o effect_n it_o be_v scarce_o feel_v at_o all_o but_o only_o by_o the_o very_a effect_n which_o it_o leave_v behind_o it_o and_o when_o on_o the_o other_o side_n this_o favour_n continue_v to_o be_v of_o much_o long_a extent_n but_o it_o occurr_v to_o i_o often_o to_o doubt_v whether_o the_o cause_n of_o this_o may_v not_o be_v that_o the_o soul_n dispose_v not_o herself_o entire_o for_o god_n till_o his_o divine_a majesty_n bring_v she_o up_o and_o breed_v she_o for_o himself_o by_o little_a and_o little_a and_o so_o bespeak_v she_o to_o resolve_v her_o self_n all_o at_o once_o and_o give_v she_o the_o very_a strength_n of_o a_o grow_v man_n to_o the_o end_n that_o she_o may_v cast_v all_o as_o it_o be_v a_o thousand_o mile_n off_o as_o he_o instant_o do_v with_o s._n marie_n magdalen_n and_o as_o he_o also_o do_v with_o other_o after_o the_o rate_n of_o their_o cooperate_a with_o he_o and_o as_o they_o suffer_v his_o divine_a majesty_n to_o dispose_v of_o they_o whole_o according_a to_o his_o own_o good_a pleasure_n for_o else_o we_o know_v not_o how_o to_o believe_v that_o even_o in_o this_o life_n almighty_a god_n give_v a_o hundred_o for_o one_o i_o think_v also_o of_o this_o comparison_n that_o suppose_v the_o thing_n to_o be_v all_o one_o which_o be_v impart_v both_o to_o beginner_n and_o proficient_n it_o will_v be_v like_a to_o some_o one_o only_a food_n whereof_o many_o feed_n all_o at_o once_o and_o that_o they_o who_o eat_v little_a of_o it_o preserve_v no_o more_o memory_n and_o remain_v with_o no_o more_o effect_n of_o it_o then_o only_o some_o little_a savour_n or_o smack_n for_o a_o while_n but_o they_o who_o feed_v more_o large_o it_o give_v they_o help_v to_o subsist_v and_o they_o who_o feed_v plentiful_o on_o it_o receive_v increase_n of_o strength_n and_o spirit_n by_o it_o yea_o and_o a_o soul_n may_v feed_v so_o often_o and_o so_o full_o upon_o this_o food_n of_o life_n that_o she_o may_v come_v not_o to_o endure_v any_o thing_n at_o all_o which_o shall_v not_o taste_v just_a like_o that_o for_o she_o find_v the_o very_a great_a benefit_n which_o she_o receive_v by_o it_o and_o she_o have_v her_o taste_n already_o so_o whole_o make_v to_o that_o sweetness_n that_o she_o have_v rather_o even_o leave_v to_o live_v then_o to_o feed_v upon_o other_o thing_n which_o be_v all_o to_o serve_v in_o fine_a for_o nothing_o but_o only_o to_o take_v away_o the_o good_a taste_n which_o the_o former_a excellent_a food_n leave_v in_o her_o mouth_n beside_o no_o conversation_n with_o holy_a company_n be_v wont_a to_o be_v of_o so_o much_o use_v and_o benefit_n in_o one_o day_n as_o in_o many_o but_o we_o may_v be_v in_o it_o so_o long_o as_o that_o we_o may_v grow_v to_o be_v even_o like_o they_o ourselves_o if_o our_o lord_n will_v be_v please_v to_o do_v we_o so_o much_o favour_n but_o to_o conclude_v the_o main_n business_n consist_v in_o what_o his_o divine_a majesty_n vouchsafe_v to_o do_v and_o to_o who_o he_o will_v be_v please_v to_o allow_v it_o though_o yet_o withal_o it_o grow_v to_o import_v very_o much_o that_o whosoever_o will_v pretend_v to_o receive_v this_o favour_n must_v full_o resolve_v himself_o to_o be_v absolute_o dis-engaged_n and_o untie_v from_o the_o whole_a world_n yea_o and_o to_o esteem_v that_o favour_n of_o our_o bless_a lord_n as_o high_o as_o the_o thing_n deserve_v it_o also_o seem_v to_o i_o as_o if_o his_o divine_a majesty_n be_v resolve_v to_o try_v who_o they_o be_v that_o love_v he_o namely_o whether_o it_o be_v this_o soul_n or_o that_o and_o that_o he_o will_v also_o discover_v who_o himself_o be_v by_o impart_v so_o high_a and_o sovereign_a a_o delight_n to_o quicken_v and_o fortifye_v their_o faith_n if_o it_o shall_v chance_v to_o be_v dead_a or_o weak_a in_o the_o beleif_n of_o those_o great_a blessing_n which_o he_o mean_v to_o give_v she_o say_v behold_v this_o be_v but_o a_o single_a drop_n of_o that_o huge_a and_o vast_a sea_n of_o benediction_n which_o i_o mean_v to_o give_v to_o such_o as_o i_o love_v and_o when_o he_o see_v that_o they_o receive_v it_o as_o he_o give_v it_o he_o give_v not_o only_o it_o but_o himself_o with_o it_o in_o fine_a he_o love_v they_o who_o love_v he_o and_o o_o what_o a_o good_a lover_n and_o good_a belon_v be_v he_o othou_fw-mi the_o lord_n of_o my_o soul_n o_o that_o i_o can_v find_v any_o fit_a word_n whereby_o i_o may_v give_v to_o be_v understand_v what_o thou_o bestow_v upon_o such_o as_o trust_v thou_o home_o and_o what_o they_o lose_v who_o arrive_v to_o this_o condition_n and_o yet_o will_v needs_o remain_v still_o with_o themselves_o but_o do_v not_o o_o thou_o my_o lord_n permit_v this_o since_o already_o thou_o do_v more_o than_o this_o for_o our_o sake_n in_o come_v to_o so_o base_a and_o wicked_a a_o lodging_n as_o this_o of_o my_o hart_n bless_a may_v thou_o be_v for_o ever_o and_o for_o ever_o amen_n and_o now_o i_o return_v most_o humble_o to_o beseech_v your_o reverence_n that_o if_o you_o mean_v to_o impart_v these_o thing_n which_o i_o have_v write_v concern_v my_o prayer_n they_o may_v be_v very_o spiritual_a person_n to_o who_o you_o do_v it_o for_o if_o they_o understand_v no_o more_o than_o some_o one_o way_n or_o if_o they_o have_v remain_v in_o the_o half_a way_n they_o will_v never_o be_v so_o well_o able_a to_o hit_v right_a now_o there_o be_v some_o who_o almighty_a god_n carry_v instant_o by_o a_o very_a sublime_a kind_n of_o address_n and_o they_o perhaps_o will_v conceive_v that_o other_o may_v also_o profit_v there_o and_o may_v quiet_v and_o calm_v the_o understanding_n and_o not_o serve_v themselves_o at_o all_o of_o the_o mean_n of_o any_o corporeal_a object_n but_o yet_o these_o creature_n with_o all_o this_o shall_v come_v in_o fine_a to_o remain_v as_o dry_v as_o a_o stick_n and_o some_o who_o have_v grow_v to_o enjoy_v a_o little_a quiet_a grow_v also_o to_o think_v of_o this_o fancy_n that_o why_o forsooth_o may_v not_o they_o be_v able_a to_o obtain_v as_o well_o the_o one_o as_o the_o other_o but_o such_o as_o these_o in_o stead_n of_o advance_v in_o the_o way_n of_o profit_v their_o soul_n shall_v real_o disadvantage_n themselves_o as_o i_o have_v say_v so_o that_o in_o all_o this_o business_n there_o will_v be_v need_n both_o of_o experience_n and_o prudence_n and_o i_o beseech_v our_o lord_n grant_v they_o to_o we_o through_o his_o own_o goodness_n the_o three_o and_o twenty_o chapter_n she_o return_v to_o declare_v the_o course_n of_o her_o life_n and_o how_o she_o first_o begin_v to_o think_v of_o grow_v to_o great_a perfection_n and_o by_o what_o mean_n she_o do_v it_o this_o chapter_n be_v very_o profitable_a for_o such_o as_o be_v to_o govern_v soul_n in_o order_n to_o prayer_n and_o to_o make_v they_o know_v how_o they_o be_v to_o behave_v themselves_o in_o their_o beginning_n and_o of_o the_o benefit_n she_o reap_v by_o know_v it_o herself_o i_o will_v now_o return_v to_o that_o place_n where_o i_o give_v over_o the_o discourse_n of_o my_o life_n for_o i_o have_v detain_v myself_o perhaps_o long_o than_o i_o ought_v to_o the_o end_n that_o yet_o that_o which_o follow_v may_v grow_v to_o be_v the_o better_o understand_v from_o hence_o forward_a this_o will_v be_v another_o new_a book_n i_o mean_v another_o new_a life_n for_o hitherto_o it_o be_v i_o but_o the_o life_n which_o i_o have_v live_v since_o i_o begin_v to_o declare_v these_o thing_n of_o prayer_n be_v that_o when_o god_n live_v in_o i_o forasmuch_o as_o i_o can_v conceive_v since_o i_o hold_v it_o to_o be_v impossible_a otherwise_o for_o i_o to_o have_v give_v over_o both_o such_o ill_a action_n and_o condition_n in_o so_o short_a a_o time_n let_v our_o lord_n be_v everlasting_o praise_v for_o deliver_v i_o in_o such_o sort_n from_o myself_o but_o i_o begin_v now_o to_o free_v my_o soul_n from_o the_o occasion_n of_o ill_a and_o to_o give_v myself_o more_o to_o prayer_n our_o lord_n begin_v also_o to_o do_v i_o favour_n as_o one_o who_o in_o all_o appearance_n desire_v but_o that_o i_o will_v be_v content_a to_o receive_v they_o his_o divine_a majesty_n do_v therefore_o then_o very_o ordinary_o give_v i_o the_o prayer_n of_o quiet_a and_o many_o time_n that_o also_o of_o union_n which_o last_v very_o long_o fit_v of_o time_n but_o now_o when_o i_o understand_v that_o there_o have_v occur_v great_a illusion_n of_o certain_a woman_n and_o deceit_n which_o the_o devil_n put_v upon_o they_o i_o begin_v to_o be_v afraid_a as_o consider_v the_o delight_n and_o sweetness_n
marry_v to_o one_o of_o my_o cousin-germans_a and_o i_o have_v much_o acquaintance_n there_o and_o by_o this_o mean_n i_o procure_v that_o the_o priest_n who_o be_v his_o great_a friend_n and_o withal_o so_o great_a a_o servant_n of_o god_n may_v come_v and_o speak_v with_o i_o for_o i_o intend_v to_o confess_v myself_o to_o he_o and_o to_o have_v he_o for_o my_o director_n and_o now_o that_o cavallier_n conduct_v he_o to_o i_o to_o the_o end_n that_o we_o may_v speak_v together_o and_o i_o remain_v with_o extreme_a confusion_n to_o see_v myself_o in_o the_o presence_n of_o so_o holy_a a_o man_n give_v he_o some_o knowledge_n of_o my_o soul_n and_o of_o the_o prayer_n which_o i_o use_v for_o he_o excuse_v himself_o from_o take_v my_o confession_n as_o tell_v i_o that_o he_o be_v very_o full_a of_o business_n and_o so_o indeed_o he_o be_v as_o for_o he_o he_o determine_v with_o a_o holy_a kind_n of_o resolution_n to_o conduct_v i_o as_o a_o person_n who_o be_v confirm_v and_o strong_a for_o indeed_o i_o be_v to_o have_v be_v so_o in_o all_o reason_n according_a to_o the_o prayer_n which_o he_o see_v i_o hold_v that_o so_o i_o may_v no_o more_o offend_v almighty_a god_n in_o the_o least_o degree_n but_o when_o i_o so_o quick_o find_v his_o resolution_n concern_v those_o little_a thing_n from_o which_o as_o i_o say_v i_o have_v not_o the_o courage_n to_o depart_v instant_o with_o so_o great_a perfection_n i_o be_v much_o afflict_v and_o when_o i_o also_o find_v that_o he_o mean_v to_o carry_v the_o business_n of_o my_o soul_n after_o such_o manner_n as_o if_o he_o will_v make_v a_o end_n as_o it_o be_v all_o at_o once_o by_o dispose_v and_o settle_v thereof_o i_o see_v that_o i_o have_v need_n of_o much_o more_o consideration_n and_o care_n to_o be_v use_v towards_o i_o than_o that_o in_o a_o word_n i_o be_v of_o opinion_n that_o the_o mean_n which_o he_o prescribe_v be_v not_o they_o whereby_o my_o remedy_n be_v to_o be_v procure_v for_o they_o be_v proper_a for_o a_o soul_n which_o have_v be_v more_o perfect_a then_o i_o but_o as_o for_o i_o though_o i_o have_v proceed_v very_o far_o in_o as_o much_o as_o may_v concern_v the_o favour_n of_o almighty_a god_n to_o my_o soul_n yet_o for_o as_o much_o as_o concern_v virtue_n and_o mortification_n i_o be_v but_o in_o the_o very_a beginning_n thereof_o and_o certain_o i_o conceive_v that_o if_o i_o have_v not_o be_v to_o treat_v with_o any_o other_o than_o he_o my_o soul_n will_v never_o have_v improve_v and_o thrive_v for_o through_o the_o affliction_n which_o it_o give_v i_o to_o see_v how_o i_o do_v not_o yea_o and_o how_o as_o i_o think_v i_o can_v not_o do_v that_o which_o he_o prescribe_v it_o be_v enough_o to_o make_v i_o loose_v my_o hope_n and_o to_o give-ove_a the_o whole_a business_n sometime_o i_o be_o apt_a to_o marvel_v that_o almighty_a god_n be_v not_o please_v to_o let_v this_o scruant_n of_o he_o the_o holy_a priest_n receive_v a_o perfect_a knowledge_n of_o my_o soul_n nor_o to_o encharge_v himself_o with_o the_o care_n thereof_o since_o he_o be_v a_o person_n who_o have_v a_o particular_a facility_n and_o grace_n in_o beginning_n to_o gain_v soul_n to_o his_o divine_a majesty_n but_o i_o see_v that_o all_o this_o happen_v for_o my_o great_a good_a that_o so_o i_o may_v come_v to_o know_v and_o converse_v with_o so_o holy_a man_n as_o they_o of_o the_o society_n of_o jesus_n be_v but_o in_o the_o mean_a time_n i_o remain_v in_o agreement_n with_o that_o cavalier_n of_o who_o i_o speak_v that_o now_o and_o then_o he_o shall_v do_v i_o the_o favour_n to_o visit_v i_o and_o here_o i_o discern_v his_o great_a humility_n since_o he_o will_v be_v content_v to_o converse_v with_o so_o wicked_a a_o creature_n as_o myself_o he_o begin_v therefore_o then_o to_o visit_v i_o and_o to_o encourage_v i_o and_o to_o tell_v i_o that_o i_o must_v not_o think_v to_o deliver_v myself_o from_o all_o my_o imperfection_n in_o one_o day_n but_o that_o by_o little_a and_o little_a almighty_a god_n will_v do_v it_o and_o that_o himself_o have_v remain_v some_o whole_a year_n in_o reform_v some_o very_a little_a light_a thing_n as_o not_o be_v able_a to_o finish_v the_o work_n soon_o o_o humility_n how_o great_a blessing_n do_v thou_o bestow_v upon_o they_o with_o who_o thou_o remain_v yea_o and_o even_o upon_o those_o other_o also_o who_o do_v but_o even_o approach_v to_o the_o possessor_n thereof_o this_o saint_n for_o in_o my_o opinion_n i_o may_v well_o give_v he_o this_o name_n with_o great_a reason_n relate_v certain_a particular_n to_o i_o concern_v himself_o which_o through_o his_o humility_n seem_v weakness_n to_o he_o but_o he_o do_v it_o for_o my_o remedy_n and_o redress_v and_o consider_v his_o condition_n and_o way_n of_o life_n they_o import_v neither_o fault_n nor_o imperfection_n but_o as_o for_o i_o it_o be_v a_o very_a great_a one_o to_o be_v subject_a to_o they_o nor_o do_v i_o say_v thus_o much_o by_o chance_n though_o perhaps_o i_o extend_v myself_o too_o far_o in_o speak_v of_o these_o very_a little_a thing_n but_o they_o import_v so_o much_o for_o bring_v a_o soul_n into_o the_o way_n of_o profit_v in_o spirit_n and_o for_o get_v she_o out_o to_o fly_v which_o have_v scarce_o get_v yet_o any_o feather_n that_o no_o body_n who_o have_v not_o experience_n of_o it_o will_v believe_v it_o and_o i_o affirm_v these_o thing_n here_o the_o rather_o because_o i_o hope_v in_o almighty_a god_n that_o this_o which_o i_o be_o say_v now_o will_v do_v much_o good_a for_o all_o my_o help_n and_o hope_v consist_v in_o find_v out_o the_o way_n how_o to_o cure_v i_o and_o in_o their_o exercise_v humility_n and_o charity_n towards_o i_o yea_o and_o to_o have_v patience_n also_o in_o perceive_v that_o i_o do_v not_o instant_o and_o entire_o amend_v myself_o and_o this_o man_n go_v with_o discretion_n by_o little_a and_o little_a and_o show_v i_o diverse_a way_n how_o to_o overcome_v the_o devil_n in_o the_o mean_a time_n i_o begin_v to_o carry_v so_o entire_a a_o affection_n to_o he_o that_o i_o can_v not_o receive_v a_o great_a ease_n and_o joy_n then_o to_o live_v that_o day_n when_o i_o may_v see_v he_o though_o they_o be_v but_o few_o when_o he_o delay_v his_o visit_n i_o be_v very_o much_o and_o very_o quick_o trouble_v at_o it_o as_o doubt_v that_o he_o forbear_v to_o see_v i_o because_o i_o be_v so_o wicked_a when_o he_o come_v to_o know_v my_o so_o great_a imperfection_n yea_o and_o even_o they_o may_v reach_v to_o be_v sin_n though_o yet_o after_o i_o have_v begin_v to_o treat_v with_o he_o i_o be_v somewhat_o mend_v and_o when_o i_o inform_v he_o also_o of_o the_o favour_n which_o almighty_a god_n have_v be_v please_v to_o do_v i_o to_o the_o end_n that_o he_o may_v give_v i_o light_n he_o tell_v i_o that_o all_o those_o several_a thing_n do_v not_o suit_n very_o well_o with_o one_o another_o and_o that_o those_o regalo_n be_v not_o belong_v but_o to_o person_n who_o be_v already_o very_o much_o improve_v and_o mortify_v that_o for_o his_o part_n he_o can_v not_o forbear_v to_o be_v much_o afraid_a because_o it_o seem_v one_o to_o he_o that_o there_o appear_v a_o evil_a spirit_n in_o some_o thing_n though_o yet_o he_o will_v not_o absolute_o resolve_v it_o but_o he_o wish_v that_o i_o shall_v consider_v very_o well_o of_o whatsoever_o i_o understand_v concern_v my_o prayer_n and_o so_o relate_v it_o to_o he_o now_o here_o the_o great_a trouble_n be_v that_o i_o can_v tell_v he_o nothing_o at_o all_o of_o what_o my_o prayer_n be_v for_o indeed_o it_o be_v not_o long_o since_o almighty_a god_n have_v do_v i_o the_o favour_n of_o know_v either_o how_o to_o understand_v it_o or_o declare_v it_o but_o as_o soon_o as_o he_o have_v express_v himself_o to_o i_o the_o affliction_n which_o i_o have_v be_v great_a and_o the_o tear_n which_o i_o shed_v be_v many_o through_o the_o fear_n i_o have_v for_o certain_o i_o desire_v to_o serve_v and_o please_v almighty_a god_n and_o i_o know_v not_o how_o to_o persuade_v myself_o that_o it_o be_v of_o the_o devil_n only_o i_o fear_v least_z for_o my_o great_a sin_n our_o lord_n may_v blind_v i_o so_o far_o as_o that_o i_o can_v not_o understand_v it_o but_o then_o turn_v over_o some_o book_n to_o see_v if_o i_o can_v meet_v with_o any_o thing_n concern_v my_o prayer_n i_o find_v in_o one_o which_o be_v call_v the_o ascent_n to_o the_o mountain_n in_o that_o particular_a which_o concern_v the_o union_n of_o a_o soul_n with_o almighty_a god_n all_o those_o sign_n which_o i_o have_v in_o that_o state_n of_o my_o
not_o be_v able_a to_o think_v of_o any_o thing_n for_o this_o be_v that_o of_o which_o i_o speak_v most_o that_o namely_o i_o can_v not_o think_v of_o any_o thing_n in_o distinct_a manner_n when_o i_o have_v that_o prayer_n and_o i_o mark_v and_o note_v those_o place_n with_o certain_a line_n wherein_o that_o passage_n be_v contain_v and_o then_o i_o deliver_v he_o the_o book_n to_o the_o end_n that_o both_o himself_o and_o that_o holy_a priest_n and_o servant_n of_o god_n of_o who_o i_o speak_v before_o may_v consider_v it_o and_o make_v i_o know_v what_o i_o be_v to_o do_v and_o whither_o perhaps_o they_o may_v be_v of_o opinion_n that_o i_o be_v to_o give-ove_a my_o prayer_n altogether_o for_o in_o fine_a to_o what_o purpose_n be_v i_o to_o thrust_v myself_o into_o those_o danger_n if_o now_o after_o i_o have_v use_v this_o prayer_n for_o almost_o twenty_o year_n together_o i_o have_v make_v no_o other_o benefit_n thereof_o but_o to_o be_v subject_a to_o the_o deceit_n of_o the_o devil_n and_o that_o therefore_o it_o be_v better_o for_o i_o not_o to_o use_v this_o prayer_n at_o all_o though_o yet_o it_o be_v also_o true_a that_o this_o show_v itself_o as_o a_o very_a sad_a and_o hard_a case_n to_o i_o since_o already_o i_o have_v find_v by_o experience_n how_o ill_o it_o go_v with_o my_o soul_n without_o the_o exercise_n of_o prayer_n so_o that_o now_o i_o can_v see_v nothing_o but_o misery_n on_o all_o side_n like_o one_o who_o be_v cast_v into_o a_o river_n and_o to_o which_o side_n soever_o he_o shall_v go_v he_o may_v still_o have_v the_o more_o danger_n to_o fear_v and_o be_v so_o come_v to_o the_o very_a point_n as_o it_o be_v of_o drown_v this_o be_v a_o very_a mighty_a affliction_n and_o of_o this_o kind_n i_o have_v endure_v many_o as_o i_o shall_v declare_v afterward_o for_o though_o perhaps_o it_o may_v seem_v not_o to_o import_v yet_o peradventure_o it_o may_v indeed_o prove_v to_o be_v of_o use_n towards_o the_o understanding_n of_o how_o a_o spirit_n be_v to_o be_v try_v for_o certain_o the_o affliction_n which_o use_v to_o be_v endure_v in_o these_o case_n be_v very_o great_a and_o there_o be_v need_n of_o a_o nice_a hand_n and_o of_o a_o warye_a foot_n especial_o when_o man_n treat_v with_o woman_n for_o our_o weakness_n be_v very_o great_a and_o much_o mischief_n may_v chance_v to_o arrive_v by_o tell_v we_o that_o such_o or_o such_o a_o thing_n be_v certain_o the_o devil_n without_o consider_v it_o first_o very_o well_o and_o remove_v we_o from_o those_o danger_n which_o may_v occur_v and_o advise_v we_o to_o keep_v thing_n very_o private_a and_o that_o they_o also_o be_v careful_a thereof_o themselves_o for_o this_o be_v fit_a and_o herein_o it_o be_v i_o who_o speak_v as_o one_o who_o have_v endure_v affliction_n enough_o for_o not_o have_v have_v fit_a person_n with_o who_o i_o may_v confer_v about_o my_o prayer_n but_o by_o ask_v first_o one_o and_o then_o another_o what_o may_v do_v i_o good_a which_o have_v do_v i_o hurt_n enough_o for_o now_o diverse_a thing_n have_v grow_v to_o be_v public_a which_o may_v well_o have_v remain_v very_o private_a since_o they_o be_v not_o for_o every_o body_n be_v understand_v and_o beside_o it_o may_v have_v seem_v as_o if_o they_o have_v be_v diwlge_v by_o i_o i_o well_o believe_v that_o those_o other_o do_v it_o without_o any_o fault_n in_o they_o but_o that_o our_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o permit_v it_o to_o the_o end_n that_o i_o may_v suffer_v by_o it_o i_o be_o far_o from_o say_v yea_o or_o so_o much_o as_o think_v as_o if_o any_o of_o they_o relate_v any_o such_o particular_a as_o have_v pass_v from_o i_o to_o they_o in_o confession_n for_o there_o be_v no_o such_o matter_n but_o yet_o in_o regard_n it_o come_v from_o i_o to_o such_o person_n as_o to_o who_o in_o the_o way_n of_o conference_n i_o give_v account_n of_o my_o fear_n to_o the_o end_n that_o they_o may_v assist_v i_o with_o give_v i_o light_n i_o think_v they_o may_v have_v keep_v my_o counsel_n but_o how_o soever_o i_o dare_v never_o conceal_v any_o thing_n from_o such_o person_n in_o such_o occasion_n as_o those_o i_o say_v therefore_o that_o such_o as_o i_o be_v then_o must_v be_v counsel_v with_o much_o discretion_n and_o animate_v and_o time_n must_v be_v expect_v for_o our_o bless_a lord_n will_v help_v they_o as_o he_o do_v i_o which_o if_o he_o have_v not_o do_v the_o prejudice_n which_o i_o shall_v have_v suffer_v will_v have_v be_v extreme_a by_o reason_n of_o my_o be_v so_o full_a of_o apprehension_n and_o fear_n and_o especial_o consider_v to_o how_o great_a palpitation_n of_o hart_n i_o be_v subject_a i_o wonder_v how_o this_o other_o accident_n do_v i_o not_o more_o hurt_n when_o therefore_o i_o have_v deliver_v this_o book_n and_o make_v a_o relation_n of_o my_o life_n and_o of_o my_o sin_n the_o best_a i_o can_v though_o yet_o in_o gross_a for_o i_o do_v it_o not_o in_o the_o way_n of_o confession_n in_o regard_n he_o be_v a_o secular_a person_n though_o yet_o still_o i_o make_v he_o understand_v how_o wicked_a i_o be_v those_o two_o servant_n of_o almighty_a god_n consider_v with_o great_a charity_n and_o love_n what_o may_v be_v convenient_a for_o i_o to_o do_v now_o the_o answer_n be_v ready_a which_o i_o expect_v with_o fear_n enough_o and_o i_o have_v recommend_v myself_o at_o that_o time_n to_o many_o person_n that_o they_o may_v recommend_v i_o over_o to_o almighty_a god_n and_o myself_o also_o have_v be_v much_o in_o prayer_n with_o affliction_n enough_o of_o hart_n to_o myself_o the_o cavallier_n come_v to_o i_o at_o length_n and_o tell_v i_o that_o in_o the_o opinion_n both_o of_o himself_o and_o of_o the_o other_o it_o be_v the_o devil_n and_o that_o the_o thing_n which_o will_v be_v fit_a for_o i_o to_o do_v be_v to_o treat_v about_o this_o business_n with_o a_o certain_a father_n of_o the_o society_n of_o jesus_n who_o if_o i_o will_v call_v he_o to_o i_o &_o declare_v that_o i_o be_v in_o necessity_n of_o his_o help_n will_v not_o fail_v to_o come_v and_o that_o i_o shall_v give_v he_o a_o account_n of_o my_o whole_a life_n by_o way_n of_o make_v a_o general_n confession_n as_o also_o otherwise_o of_o my_o condition_n and_o that_o i_o must_v proceed_v in_o all_o thing_n with_o much_o clearness_n and_o that_o then_o in_o virtue_n of_o the_o sacrament_n of_o confession_n almighty_a god_n will_v give_v he_o more_o light_a where_o with_o to_o direct_v i_o and_o that_o they_o be_v man_n of_o great_a experience_n in_o matter_n of_o spirit_n but_o that_o i_o shall_v do_v well_o to_o be_v very_o careful_a not_o to_o swerve_v a_o whitt_n from_o what_o he_o say_v for_o that_o i_o will_v find_v myself_o in_o much_o danger_n if_o i_o want_v one_o to_o govern_v and_o direct_v my_o soul_n as_o for_o i_o he_o put_v i_o now_o into_o so_o great_a fear_n and_o pain_n that_o i_o know_v not_o what_o to_o do_v with_o myself_o and_o now_o there_o be_v nothing_o with_o i_o but_o weep_v and_o be_v one_o day_n very_o much_o afflict_v in_o a_o oratory_n i_o fall_v upon_o read_v a_o certain_a book_n which_o it_o seem_v our_o lord_n bring_v to_o my_o hand_n and_o s._n paul_n be_v cite_v there_o say_v that_o god_n be_v very_o faithful_a and_o that_o he_o never_o suffer_v they_o who_o love_v he_o to_o be_v tempt_v above_o their_o strength_n this_o comfort_v i_o very_o much_o and_o i_o begin_v to_o consider_v about_o make_v my_o general_n confession_n and_o to_o work_n put_v in_o writing_n all_o the_o sin_n and_o blessing_n with_o the_o course_n and_o proceed_v of_o my_o whole_a life_n the_o most_o clear_o that_o i_o understand_v and_o know_v how_o to_o do_v without_o leave_v any_o little_a thing_n out_o and_o i_o remember_v that_o when_o i_o read_v over_o what_o i_o have_v write_v and_o see_v so_o many_o sin_n to_o have_v be_v commit_v by_o i_o and_o in_o effect_n no_o good_a at_o all_o to_o have_v be_v do_v it_o give_v i_o a_o extreme_a affliction_n and_o sorrow_n of_o hart_n it_o also_o put_v i_o to_o some_o trouble_n that_o they_o of_o the_o house_n shall_v see_v i_o treat_v and_o converse_v with_o so_o holy_a people_n as_o they_o of_o the_o society_n of_o jesus_n be_v for_o i_o be_v afraid_a of_o my_o own_o wickedness_n and_o i_o thought_n i_o shall_v be_v oblige_v by_o that_o mean_n to_o be_v wicked_a no_o more_o and_o to_o give-ove_a my_o entertainment_n and_o pass-time_n and_o that_o if_o i_o do_v not_o this_o it_o will_v be_v worse_o with_o i_o so_o that_o i_o procure_v both_o with_o the_o portresse_n and_o with_o the_o sacristin_n that_o
do_v it_o himself_o as_o indeed_o he_o do_v nor_o yet_o can_v i_o ever_o imagine_v that_o it_o will_v prove_v to_o take_v effect_n with_o i_o as_o yet_o it_o fall_v out_o to_o do_v because_o already_o i_o have_v use_v some_o endeavour_n that_o way_n and_o the_o affliction_n which_o i_o receive_v by_o it_o be_v so_o great_a that_o i_o resolve_v to_o give_v over_o the_o attempt_n as_o be_v a_o thing_n which_o i_o hold_v not_o to_o be_v inconvenient_a to_o continue_v but_o now_o here_o our_o bless_a lord_n impart_v both_o liberty_n and_o strength_n to_o i_o to_o put_v it_o in_o execution_n i_o tell_v this_o very_a thing_n to_o my_o ghostly_a father_n and_o i_o give_v over_o that_o friendship_n according_a to_o what_o i_o have_v be_v command_v and_o it_o do_v they_o no_o little_a good_a with_o who_o i_o have_v be_v wont_a to_o converse_v to_o see_v this_o resolution_n grow_v in_o i_o almighty_a god_n be_v ever_o bless_v and_o praise_v who_o give_v i_o that_o liberty_n and_o power_n in_o one_o god_n moment_n which_o i_o have_v not_o be_v able_a to_o purchase_v and_o obtain_v of_o myself_o by_o the_o multitude_n of_o those_o great_a diligence_n which_o i_o have_v use_v many_o year_n in_o order_n to_o this_o end_n though_o yet_o i_o have_v employ_v myself_o so_o earnest_o upon_o this_o attempt_n that_o it_o have_v cost_v i_o a_o good_a part_n of_o my_o health_n but_o now_o this_o have_v be_v wrought_v and_o grant_v by_o he_o who_o be_v the_o omnipotent_a and_o true_a lord_n of_o all_o creature_n it_o put_v i_o not_o even_o to_o the_o least_o pain_n or_o trouble_v at_o all_o the_o five_o and_o twenty_o chapter_n she_o treat_v here_o of_o the_o way_n and_o manner_n of_o understand_v those_o word_n or_o speech_n which_o almighty_a god_n be_v please_v to_o utter_v to_o the_o soul_n though_o yet_o without_o hear_v any_o voice_n or_o sound_n and_o of_o some_o error_n or_o abuse_n which_o may_v happen_v herein_o and_o how_o the_o right_a may_v be_v know_v from_o the_o wrong_n it_o be_v of_o much_o use_n and_o profit_n for_o such_o as_o see_v themselves_o in_o this_o degree_n of_o prayer_n for_o it_o be_v declare_v very_o well_o and_o the_o doctrine_n contain_v great_a instruction_n menander_n think_v it_o shall_v do_v well_o to_o declare_v what_o kind_n of_o thing_n this_o speech_n be_v which_o our_o lord_n express_v to_o the_o soul_n and_o what_o she_o also_o feel_v to_o the_o end_n that_o your_o reverence_n may_v understand_v it_o for_o from_o this_o very_a time_n when_o our_o lord_n do_v i_o this_o favour_n as_o i_o have_v say_v the_o same_o thing_n be_v very_o usual_a with_o i_o even_o till_o this_o very_a present_a as_o i_o shall_v let_v you_o see_v by_o that_o which_o follow_v i_o say_v therefore_o that_o they_o be_v certain_a word_n very_o distinct_o form_v and_o that_o howsoever_o they_o be_v not_o hear_v with_o our_o ear_n of_o flesh_n and_o blood_n yet_o be_v they_o understand_v much_o more_o express_o and_o clear_o then_o if_o they_o be_v so_o hear_v and_o to_o seek_v to_o forbear_v to_o understand_v they_o yea_o and_o to_o resist_v the_o understanding_n they_o how_o much_o soever_o it_o may_v be_v be_v a_o vanity_n and_o a_o most_o impossible_a thing_n when_o in_o this_o world_n we_o have_v a_o mind_n not_o to_o hear_v we_o may_v stop_n our_o ear_n or_o else_o attend_v to_o other_o thing_n if_o we_o will_v in_o such_o sort_n as_o that_o although_o peradventure_o we_o may_v hear_v the_o word_n yet_o we_o shall_v not_o in_o that_o case_n understand_v they_o but_o word_n now_o in_o this_o discourse_n which_o almighty_a god_n make_v to_o the_o soul_n there_o be_v no_o remedy_n at_o all_o but_o they_o make_v i_o harken_v to_o they_o whether_o i_o will_v or_o no_o &_o they_o oblige_v the_o understanding_n to_o be_v very_o entire_a &_o attentive_a for_o the_o comprehend_v thereof_o for_o he_o who_o be_v able_a to_o do_v all_o thing_n be_v resolve_v that_o we_o shall_v understand_v he_o and_o that_o which_o he_o resolve_v must_v be_v do_v and_o so_o he_o come_v to_o be_v know_v to_o be_v the_o true_a lord_n of_o we_o all_o i_o have_v very_o well_o experiment_v this_o truth_n for_o the_o resistance_n which_o i_o make_v he_o do_v last_o upon_o the_o point_n of_o two_o year_n through_o the_o great_a fear_n wherein_o i_o be_v yea_o and_o even_o now_o i_o make_v those_o trial_n sometime_o but_o it_o serve_v i_o to_o little_a purpose_n i_o will_v fain_o declare_v the_o error_n and_o abuse_n which_o may_v here_o occur_v though_o for_o a_o man_n who_o have_v much_o experience_n i_o think_v there_o shall_v be_v few_o or_o none_o but_o indeed_o the_o say_a experience_n will_v be_v great_a as_o namely_o to_o know_v the_o difference_n when_o the_o spirit_n be_v good_a and_o when_o it_o be_v ill_a and_o when_o perhaps_o the_o thing_n may_v also_o be_v but_o a_o apprehension_n of_o the_o very_a understanding_n itself_o which_o may_v occur_v or_o when_o the_o very_a spirit_n itself_o may_v speak_v to_o the_o very_a selfsame_a spirit_n and_o i_o know_v not_o very_o well_o whether_o this_o may_v happen_v or_o no_o though_o even_o this_o very_a day_n i_o have_v a_o kind_n of_o opinion_n that_o it_o may_v when_o these_o word_n be_v indeed_o of_o almighty_a god_n i_o have_v find_v the_o truth_n thereof_o in_o many_o thing_n which_o be_v tell_v i_o two_o or_o three_o year_n before_o and_o they_o all_o fall_v out_o to_o prove_v true_a and_o till_o now_o not_o any_o one_o of_o they_o fail_v there_o be_v also_o other_o thing_n whereby_o it_o grow_v to_o prove_v very_o plain_a that_o the_o spirit_n be_v of_o god_n as_o i_o will_v declare_v afterward_o to_o other_o i_o it_o seem_v that_o a_o person_n recommend_v a_o thing_n to_o almighty_a god_n with_o great_a earnestness_n and_o apprehension_n may_v grow_v to_o make_v himself_o conceive_v that_o he_o come_v to_o understand_v in_o some_o sort_n whether_o the_o thing_n shall_v be_v do_v or_o no_o and_o this_o i_o say_v be_v very_o possible_a but_o he_o who_o understand_v thing_n after_o this_o other_o manner_n will_v clear_o discover_v what_o it_o may_v be_v so_o great_a a_o difference_n there_o be_v between_o the_o two_o and_o if_o indeed_o it_o be_v a_o thing_n which_o the_o understanding_n device_n and_o make_v how_o subtle_o and_o how_o delicate_o soever_o the_o matter_n go_v he_o understand_v that_o there_o be_v some_o part_n of_o himself_o in_o that_o which_o be_v ordain_v and_o say_v for_o it_o be_v no_o other_o thing_n then_o for_o a_o man_n to_o set_v a_o discourse_n on_o foot_n or_o to_o harken_v to_o what_o another_o man_n say_v for_o then_o the_o understanding_n find_v that_o it_o do_v not_o harken_v then_o because_o it_o work_v and_o the_o word_n which_o it_o go_v frame_v in_o that_o case_n be_v as_o it_o be_v fantastical_a and_o mute_a and_o confuse_a and_o be_v not_o deliver_v with_o that_o clearness_n which_o those_o other_o have_v and_o now_o here_o it_o be_v in_o our_o own_o power_n to_o divert_v ourselves_o or_o else_o to_o hold_v our_o peace_n when_o we_o speak_v but_o in_o this_o other_o case_n we_o have_v no_o such_o power_n at_o all_o another_o sign_n there_o be_v which_o be_v of_o more_o importance_n than_o all_o the_o rest_n for_o these_o thing_n which_o be_v say_v by_o ourselves_o have_v no_o manner_n of_o operation_n and_o work_v no_o effect_n at_o all_o but_o the_o other_o when_o our_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o speak_v be_v not_o only_o of_o word_n but_o work_n and_o though_o they_o be_v not_o word_n of_o devotion_n but_o of_o reprehension_n they_o instant_o dispose_v the_o soul_n and_o they_o enable_v she_o and_o make_v she_o relent_v and_o they_o give_v light_n and_o regale_n she_o and_o appease_v she_o and_o if_o she_o be_v in_o state_n of_o dryness_n and_o commotion_n and_o disorder_n these_o word_n take_v all_o away_o as_o if_o it_o be_v with_o the_o hand_n yea_o and_o yet_o much_o better_o than_o so_o for_o it_o seem_v that_o our_o lord_n business_n be_v then_o to_o show_v his_o mighty_a power_n and_o that_o his_o word_n be_v deed_n i_o think_v there_o be_v such_o a_o difference_n as_o there_o be_v between_o our_o speak_n or_o hear_v neither_o more_o â—orlesse_a for_o that_o which_o i_o speak_v i_o go_v order_v as_o i_o be_v say_v with_o my_o understanding_n but_o if_o another_o speak_v to_o i_o i_o do_v no_o more_o than_o hear_v without_o any_o trouble_n at_o all_o to_o myself_o one_o of_o these_o kind_n of_o word_n be_v like_o some_o thing_n whereof_o we_o can_v well_o determine_v whether_o it_o be_v not_o as_o of_o a_o man_n who_o be_v half_a asleep_a but_o this_o other_o be_v find_v to_o come_v from_o a_o voice_n so_o
have_v any_o experience_n will_v find_v that_o every_o word_n of_o this_o which_o i_o have_v say_v be_v literal_o certain_a and_o i_o bless_v almighty_a god_n for_o enable_v i_o to_o declare_v it_o as_o i_o have_v do_v and_o now_o i_o end_v this_o part_n of_o the_o discourse_n with_o say_v that_o i_o think_v when_o such_o word_n proceed_v from_o our_o own_o understanding_n we_o may_v easy_o come_v to_o know_v it_o if_o we_o have_v a_o mind_n to_o it_o and_o every_o time_n that_o we_o be_v in_o prayer_n we_o shall_v conceive_v that_o we_o understand_v they_o but_o in_o this_o other_o kind_n of_o word_n or_o speech_n it_o be_v not_o so_o for_o it_o will_v be_v many_o day_n wherein_o though_o i_o shall_v desire_v to_o understand_v somewhat_o of_o that_o kind_n it_o will_v be_v absolute_o impossible_a and_o when_o at_o other_o time_n i_o have_v no_o thought_n that_o way_n i_o must_v yet_o understand_v it_o as_o i_o have_v say_v and_o i_o think_v that_o whosoever_o have_v a_o mind_n to_o deceive_v other_o affirm_v himself_o to_o understand_v that_o from_o almighty_a god_n which_o be_v from_o himself_o may_v as_o well_o and_o it_o will_v cost_v he_o as_o little_a affirm_v that_o he_o hear_v it_o with_o his_o ear_n and_o it_o be_v a_o most_o certain_a and_o real_a truth_n that_o for_o my_o part_n i_o never_o think_v that_o there_o be_v any_o other_o way_n then_o that_o for_o the_o hear_n and_o understand_v any_o thing_n till_o i_o find_v in_o my_o own_o case_n that_o this_o which_o i_o have_v now_o deliver_v be_v true_a and_o it_o have_v cost_v i_o as_o i_o say_v much_o trouble_n when_o these_o thing_n proceed_v of_o the_o devil_n they_o do_v not_o only_o not_o work_v any_o good_a effect_n but_o leave_v also_o very_o ill_o one_o behind_o they_o but_o this_o have_v not_o happen_v to_o i_o above_o twice_o or_o thrice_o and_o i_o have_v instant_o be_v advertise_v by_o our_o lord_n that_o they_o be_v of_o the_o devil_n and_o beside_o the_o great_a dryness_n which_o they_o leave_v behind_o they_o they_o also_o give_v the_o soul_n much_o disquiet_n after_o the_o manner_n of_o those_o many_o other_o time_n when_o our_o lord_n have_v permit_v i_o to_o have_v great_a temptation_n and_o trouble_n of_o soul_n in_o different_a kind_n and_o that_o i_o shall_v often_o be_v torment_v as_o i_o will_v declare_v hereafter_o but_o this_o be_v a_o certain_a kind_n of_o disquiet_n of_o which_o we_o know_v not_o how_o to_o understand_v from_o whence_o it_o come_v but_o it_o seem_v that_o the_o soul_n resist_v it_o and_o be_v put_v into_o great_a disorder_n by_o it_o and_o be_v afflict_v without_o know_v for_o what_o in_o regard_n that_o the_o devil_n say_v that_o such_o or_o such_o a_o thing_n be_v not_o ill_o but_o good_a i_o conceive_v that_o if_o one_o spirit_n may_v be_v able_a to_o find_v and_o feel_v another_o the_o gust_n and_o delight_n which_o this_o diabolical_a spirit_n give_v be_v different_a in_o my_o opinion_n from_o the_o other_o after_o a_o most_o evident_a manner_n the_o devil_n may_v well_o deceive_v some_o such_o person_n by_o give_v he_o gust_n as_o never_o receive_v any_o before_o from_o almighty_a god_n for_o these_o latter_a be_v gust_n indeed_o which_o import_v a_o sweet_a strong_a well-imprinted_n quiet_a delightful_a kind_n of_o pleasure_n and_o joy_n for_o as_o for_o those_o little_a pretty_a devotion_n of_o the_o soul_n and_o certain_a other_o slight_a feeling_n which_o be_v like_o little_a young_a flower_n that_o be_v shake_v off_o and_o lose_v upon_o the_o least_o little_a wind_n of_o persecution_n i_o do_v not_o call_v they_o devotion_n though_o yet_o they_o be_v good_a beginning_n and_o holy_a motion_n but_o no_o way_n sufficient_a to_o determine_v whether_o the_o effect_n proceed_v from_o a_o good_a spirit_n or_o a_o bad_a and_o therefore_o it_o will_v be_v very_o necessary_a to_o walk_v in_o this_o kind_n of_o thing_n with_o huge_a caution_n for_o such_o person_n as_o shall_v not_o have_v proceed_v further_o in_o prayer_n than_o thus_o far_o may_v easy_o grow_v to_o be_v deceive_v if_o they_o fall_v out_o to_o have_v vision_n or_o revelation_n for_o my_o part_n i_o never_o have_v of_o these_o last_o till_o god_n through_o his_o own_o only_o goodness_n give_v i_o prayer_n of_o union_n unless_o it_o be_v that_o first_o time_n whereof_o i_o speak_v and_o it_o happen_v to_o i_o many_o year_n ago_o when_o i_o see_v christ_n our_o lord_n and_o i_o will_v to_o god_n it_o have_v please_v his_o divine_a majesty_n that_o i_o have_v understand_v at_o that_o time_n that_o it_o be_v a_o true_a vision_n as_o i_o understand_v it_o to_o be_v afterward_o for_o it_o will_v not_o have_v be_v of_o small_a advantage_n to_o i_o but_o now_o upon_o these_o illusion_n of_o the_o devil_n there_o never_o grow_v any_o sweetness_n or_o softness_n and_o suppleness_n to_o the_o soul_n but_o she_o remain_v as_o if_o she_o be_v fright_v and_o with_o much_o disgust_n and_o i_o hold_v it_o for_o very_o certain_a that_o almighty_a god_n will_v never_o permit_v the_o devil_n to_o deceive_v any_o soul_n which_o put_v no_o confidence_n at_o all_o in_o herself_o and_o which_o be_v fortify_v in_o the_o right_a faith_n and_o resolve_v thus_o much_o for_o her_o part_n that_o she_o will_v die_v a_o thousand_o death_n for_o the_o least_o article_n thereof_o and_o who_o together_o with_o this_o love_n and_o faith_n be_v infuse_v into_o the_o soul_n by_o almighty_a god_n which_o be_v a_o livelie_a and_o strong_a faith_n indeed_o procure_v always_o to_o go_v in_o conformity_n with_o that_o which_o be_v teach_v by_o the_o holy_a catholic_a church_n inform_v herself_o further_o by_o several_a way_n as_o a_o person_n who_o be_v strong_o seat_v in_o this_o truth_n that_o all_o the_o imaginable_a revelation_n of_o the_o whole_a world_n no_o not_o if_o she_o shall_v see_v the_o very_a heaven_n open_v themselves_o can_v make_v she_o vary_v in_o the_o least_o point_n from_o the_o doctrine_n and_o decree_n of_o the_o say_a church_n but_o if_o she_o once_o come_v so_o far_o as_o but_o to_o shake_v or_o waver_v even_o in_o one_o single_a thought_n against_o this_o or_o entertain_v herself_o so_o far_o as_o to_o say_v but_o now_o if_o god_n himself_o say_v thus_o to_o i_o as_o he_o have_v say_v such_o other_o thing_n to_o saint_n this_o may_v also_o be_v true_a i_o say_v not_o that_o she_o believe_v it_o but_o that_o the_o devil_n begin_v to_o tempt_v she_o by_o this_o motion_n and_o that_o she_o be_v content_a to_o continue_v herself_o a_o little_a therein_o a_o body_n may_v see_v already_o that_o this_o be_v stark_o naught_o but_o for_o my_o part_n i_o believe_v that_o many_o time_n even_o these_o other_o first_o motion_n will_v hardly_o ever_o come_v so_o far_o as_o even_o but_o to_o set_v upon_o such_o a_o soul_n if_o she_o be_v already_o so_o strong_a as_o our_o bless_a lord_n be_v wont_a to_o have_v make_v such_o as_o to_o who_o he_o use_v to_o impart_v these_o favour_n for_o i_o think_v she_o may_v be_v able_a to_o tear_v those_o devil_n even_o to_o fitter_n whensoever_o there_o may_v be_v question_n of_o any_o one_o single_a little_a truth_n which_o the_o church_n hold_v i_o say_v that_o if_o the_o soul_n do_v not_o find_v such_o a_o strength_n as_o this_o in_o herself_o and_o that_o the_o devotion_n or_o vision_n which_o she_o have_v do_v not_o assist_v and_o help_v her-on_a therein_o let_v she_o not_o hold_v any_o such_o vision_n for_o safe_a because_o though_o the_o hurt_n of_o it_o be_v not_o instant_o understand_v it_o may_v perhaps_o grow_v by_o little_a and_o little_a to_o be_v great_a for_o to_o the_o uttermost_a of_o what_o i_o can_v discern_v and_o know_v by_o experience_n the_o reputation_n and_o credit_n that_o such_o a_o thing_n be_v of_o the_o spirit_n of_o god_n be_v settle_v and_o assure_v in_o such_o sort_n as_o that_o it_o also_o go_v in_o conformity_n to_o holy_a scripture_n and_o when_o it_o shall_v be_v find_v to_o vary_v from_o this_o rule_n though_o it_o be_v never_o so_o little_a i_o think_v i_o shall_v be_v then_o much_o more_o sure_a without_o comparison_n that_o it_o be_v of_o the_o devil_n than_o now_o i_o have_v assurance_n that_o it_o be_v of_o almighty_a god_n how_o great_a soever_o i_o may_v find_v that_o assurance_n to_o be_v for_o in_o that_o case_n we_o shall_v have_v no_o need_n at_o all_o to_o go_v in_o search_n after_o sign_n nor_o to_o inquire_v of_o what_o spirit_n it_o be_v since_o this_o be_v so_o clear_a a_o sign_n to_o make_v we_o believe_v that_o it_o be_v of_o the_o devil_n that_o if_o all_o the_o world_n shall_v endeavour_v to_o assure_v i_o that_o it_o be_v of_o god_n i_o will_v not_o believe_v it_o
lay_v upon_o i_o and_o sometime_o he_o tire_v i_o outright_o with_o ask_v i_o question_n on_o the_o one_o side_n and_o make_v i_o some_o reproof_n on_o the_o other_o and_o i_o have_v need_n of_o no_o less_o than_o all_o this_o so_o double_a and_o so_o weak_a a_o will_v i_o have_v he_o tell_v i_o once_o that_o it_o be_v not_o to_o obey_v if_o withal_o i_o be_v not_o resolve_v to_o suffer_v and_o that_o i_o be_v to_o cast_v my_o eye_n upon_o what_o he_o have_v be_v content_a toendure_n for_o i_o and_o that_o so_o the_o hard_a thing_n will_v become_v easy_a another_o ghostly_a father_n of_o i_o to_o who_o i_o be_v wont_a to_o confess_v myself_o in_o the_o beginning_n give_v i_o once_o this_o advice_n that_o since_o it_o have_v be_v find_v by_o trial_n that_o the_o spirit_n be_v good_a i_o shall_v now_o carry_v thing_n in_o absolute_a silence_n and_o not_o give_v notice_n thereof_o to_o any_o creature_n for_o that_o it_o be_v better_a to_o wrap-up_a these_o kind_n of_o thing_n in_o that_o manner_n as_o for_o i_o i_o mislike_v not_o this_o for_o whensoever_o i_o be_v to_o declare_v they_o to_o my_o ghostly_a father_n i_o grow_v to_o be_v so_o much_o trouble_v and_o conceive_v myself_o to_o be_v so_o much_o affront_v by_o it_o that_o i_o have_v much_o less_o difficulty_n to_o confess_v my_o great_a sin_n and_o especial_o if_o i_o be_v to_o declare_v those_o high_a favour_n which_o our_o lord_n vouchsafe_v to_o impart_v i_o think_v they_o be_v not_o likely_a to_o believe_v it_o but_o to_o make_v a_o jest_n and_o scorn_v of_o i_o but_o indeed_o i_o be_v chief_o trouble_v so_o much_o at_o it_o because_o it_o seem_v to_o amount_v to_o a_o kind_n of_o irreverence_n towards_o the_o wonder_n of_o almighty_a god_n and_o for_o this_o reason_n i_o will_v have_v be_v glad_a to_o conceal_v they_o but_o i_o quick_o come_v to_o understand_v how_o that_o ghostly_a father_n have_v give_v i_o indeed_o very_o ill_a advice_n and_o that_o i_o be_v by_o no_o mean_n to_o conceal_v any_o thing_n from_o he_o who_o be_v to_o receive_v my_o confession_n because_o there_o be_v much_o security_n for_o i_o to_o deal_v clear_o with_o he_o and_o that_o if_o i_o proceed_v otherwise_o i_o may_v perhaps_o fall_v into_o error_n at_o one_o time_n or_o other_o whensoever_o our_o lord_n command_v i_o any_o thing_n in_o my_o prayer_n if_o my_o ghostly_a father_n chance_v to_o bid_v i_o do_v otherwise_o our_o lord_n will_v return_v to_o command_v i_o to_o obey_v my_o ghostly_a father_n and_o yet_o again_o afterward_o his_o divine_a majesty_n will_v direct_v he_o to_o command_v i_o to_o do_v that_o very_a thing_n which_o our_o lord_n himself_o have_v command_v i_o to_o do_v before_o when_o once_o they_o take_v many_o book_n write_v in_o spanish_a from_o i_o that_o i_o may_v not_o read_v they_o i_o be_v much_o trouble_v at_o it_o for_o some_o of_o they_o serve_v i_o for_o recreation_n and_o now_o i_o be_v not_o able_a to_o read_v they_o because_o there_o be_v none_o leave_v there_o but_o in_o latin_n but_o then_o our_o bless_a lord_n say_v these_o word_n to_o i_o be_v not_o trouble_v for_o i_o will_v give_v thou_o a_o live_a book_n i_o can_v not_o for_o my_o part_n understand_v why_o this_o have_v be_v say_v to_o i_o for_o then_o i_o have_v never_o have_v vision_n but_o within_o a_o little_a while_n after_o i_o understand_v it_o very_o well_o for_o i_o have_v have_v so_o much_o to_o think_v of_o and_o to_o recollect_v myself_o about_o concern_v those_o thing_n which_o i_o see_v before_o i_o and_o our_o bless_a lord_n have_v show_v i_o so_o great_a love_n as_o to_o instruct_v i_o by_o such_o a_o multitude_n of_o way_n that_o i_o have_v have_v very_o little_a need_n of_o book_n or_o rather_o in_o effect_n none_o at_o all_o for_o his_o divine_a majesty_n have_v be_v that_o true_a book_n to_o i_o wherein_o i_o have_v indeed_o see_v truth_n and_o now_o bless_a be_v such_o a_o book_n as_o this_o which_o leave_v that_o imprint_v in_o the_o very_a hart_n which_o be_v to_o be_v read_v yea_o and_o so_o as_o that_o it_o can_v never_o be_v forget_v who_o can_v over_o see_v our_o bless_a lord_n all_o covered-ove_a with_o wound_n and_o afflict_v with_o persecution_n of_o all_o kind_n and_o yet_o not_o be_v content_v to_o embrace_v they_o yea_o and_o to_o desire_v they_o and_o to_o love_v they_o who_o can_v see_v though_o but_o a_o very_a little_a of_o that_o glory_n which_o he_o give_v to_o such_o as_o serve_v he_o and_o not_o come_v instant_o to_o know_v that_o all_o that_o which_o we_o can_v possible_o ever_o either_o do_v or_o suffer_v here_o be_v direct_o nothing_o since_o we_o hope_v for_o so_o high_a a_o reward_n he_o who_o see_v the_o torment_n which_o the_o damn_a soul_n of_o hell_n endure_v how_o can_v he_o choose_v but_o esteem_v all_o the_o torment_n of_o this_o life_n to_o be_v a_o kind_n of_o delightful_a thing_n in_o comparison_n of_o those_o other_o and_o how_o can_v he_o choose_v but_o know_v the_o mighty_a obligation_n which_o he_o have_v to_o our_o bless_a lord_n for_o have_v deliver_v he_o so_o often_o out_o of_o that_o sad_a place_n but_o because_o i_o mean_v hereafter_o by_o the_o favour_n of_o almighty_a god_n to_o speak_v more_o of_o some_o particular_a thing_n of_o these_o kind_n i_o now_o intend_v to_o declare_v the_o process_n of_o my_o own_o life_n and_o for_o the_o present_a i_o beseech_v almighty_a god_n that_o i_o may_v have_v know_v how_o to_o express_v myself_o in_o that_o which_o i_o have_v say_v already_o i_o well_o believe_v that_o whosoever_o shall_v have_v have_v experience_n will_v have_v understand_v i_o and_o will_v have_v see_v that_o i_o have_v happen_v upon_o say_v somewhat_o which_o be_v to_o the_o purpose_n but_o i_o shall_v not_o wonder_v a_o whitt_n if_o such_o as_o have_v none_o shall_v conceive_v that_o i_o have_v be_v talk_v idle_o all_o this_o while_n it_o suffice_v i_o to_o say_v as_o i_o have_v say_v that_o so_o i_o may_v remain_v free_a from_o fault_n nor_o yet_o will_v i_o blame_v any_o other_o who_o shall_v be_v of_o a_o different_a opinion_n our_o bless_a lord_n give_v i_o grace_n that_o i_o may_v never_o fail_v in_o fulfil_v his_o holy_a will_n amen_n the_o seven_o and_o twenty_o chapter_n she_o treat_v of_o another_o way_n how_o our_o lord_n instruct_v a_o soul_n and_o give_v she_o to_o understand_v his_o will_n after_o a_o very_a admirable_a manner_n without_o any_o speech_n at_o all_o she_o also_o declare_v a_o certain_a vision_n and_o great_a favour_n which_o our_o lord_n show_v she_o and_o this_o vision_n be_v not_o imaginary_a this_o chapter_n be_v very_o much_o to_o be_v note_v but_o now_o return_v to_o the_o discourse_n or_o historical_a part_n of_o my_o life_n i_o remain_v with_o much_o affliction_n and_o trouble_v but_o it_o be_v accompany_v with_o many_o prayer_n as_o i_o be_v say_v which_o be_v make_v to_o our_o lord_n that_o he_o will_v be_v please_v to_o conduct_v my_o soul_n by_o some_o other_o way_n which_o may_v be_v more_o secure_a since_o they_o tell_v i_o that_o the_o former_a be_v to_o be_v suspect_v yet_o true_a it_o be_v that_o howsoever_o i_o beg_v it_o much_o of_o almighty_a god_n yet_o consider_v how_o evident_o my_o soul_n be_v improve_v by_o the_o course_n which_o i_o hold_v before_o i_o can_v never_o find_v it_o in_o my_o power_n to_o desire_v it_o hearty_o and_o home_n though_o yet_o still_o i_o do_v it_o in_o some_o sort_n unless_o it_o be_v sometime_o when_o i_o be_v even_o distress_v and_o all_o tire_a out_o by_o the_o thing_n which_o they_o say_v to_o i_o and_o by_o the_o fright_n into_o which_o they_o put_v i_o for_o now_o i_o be_v whole_o grow_v to_o be_v another_o creature_n and_o therefore_o i_o can_v not_o cordial_o desire_v it_o only_o i_o put_v myself_o into_o the_o hand_n of_o almighty_a god_n beseech_v he_o that_o since_o he_o know_v what_o be_v fit_a for_o i_o he_o will_v be_v please_v to_o accomplish_v his_o holy_a will_n in_o all_o thing_n concern_v i_o but_o now_o i_o see_v plain_o that_o by_o this_o way_n of_o i_o which_o they_o suspect_v my_o soul_n be_v even_o carrying-up_a to_o heaven_n which_o former_o be_v drop_v down_o to_o hell_n and_o why_o therefore_o shall_v i_o desire_v that_o this_o course_n may_v be_v change_v for_o as_o for_o believe_v that_o it_o be_v of_o the_o devil_n it_o be_v not_o in_o my_o power_n even_o to_o constrain_v myself_o to_o it_o though_o yet_o i_o do_v what_o i_o can_v to_o desire_v that_o i_o may_v be_v able_a to_o believe_v it_o but_o it_o be_v not_o as_o i_o say_v in_o my_o power_n i_o offer_v to_o
this_o end_n some_o little_a poor_a good_a work_n which_o i_o do_v if_o i_o do_v any_o i_o become_v devote_a to_o some_o saint_n to_o the_o end_n that_o by_o their_o mean_n i_o may_v be_v deliver_v from_o the_o devil_n i_o perform_v the_o devotion_n of_o nine_o day_n i_o recommend_v myself_o to_o saint_n hilarion_n and_o to_o s._n michael_n also_o the_o archangel_n for_o i_o have_v late_o apply_v myself_o to_o he_o for_o this_o purpose_n and_o i_o importune_v also_o mame_v other_o saint_n that_o our_o lord_n may_v be_v please_v by_o their_o intercession_n to_o conduct_v i_o in_o the_o way_n of_o truth_n i_o say_v that_o they_o will_v find_v some_o mean_n to_o perfect_v this_o business_n of_o i_o with_o his_o divine_a majesty_n in_o fine_a after_o the_o end_n of_o two_o year_n which_o both_o i_o and_o other_o person_n have_v whole_o employ_v with_o all_o their_o prayer_n and_o i_o in_o order_n to_o this_o end_n that_o our_o lord_n may_v be_v please_v either_o to_o conduct_v my_o soul_n by_o some_o other_o way_n or_o else_o vouchsafe_v to_o declare_v that_o this_o way_n wherein_o i_o go_v be_v right_a for_o now_o those_o word_n and_o speech_n which_o i_o have_v relate_v that_o our_o lord_n will_v be_v utter_v to_o i_o sometime_o be_v grow_v very_o ordinary_a &_o even_o continual_a that_o chance_v and_o occur_v to_o i_o which_o i_o will_v now_o declare_v as_o i_o be_v in_o prayer_n one_o day_n and_o it_o be_v upon_o the_o festivitie_n of_o the_o glorious_a s._n peter_n i_o see_v stand_v very_o near_o i_o or_o rather_o to_o say_v better_o i_o think_v i_o feel_v for_o indeed_o i_o see_v nothing_o at_o all_o with_o the_o eye_n either_o of_o my_o body_n or_o of_o my_o mind_n that_o christ_n our_o lord_n be_v close_o by_o i_o and_o i_o find_v in_o fine_a that_o it_o be_v he_o in_o my_o opinion_n who_o be_v speak_v to_o i_o but_o now_o i_o who_o be_v extreme_o ignorant_a till_o then_o that_o there_o may_v be_v any_o such_o thing_n in_o the_o world_n as_o such_o a_o vision_n fall_v at_o the_o first_o into_o a_o mighty_a fear_n and_o i_o can_v do_v nothing_o but_o weep_v though_o yet_o through_o his_o give_v i_o assurance_n by_o his_o speak_v but_o one_o only_o word_n i_o find_v myself_o as_o i_o have_v former_o be_v not_o only_o without_o fear_n and_o very_o quiet_a but_o even_o with_o regalo_n and_o delight_n i_o thought_n that_o christ_n jesus_n our_o lord_n go_v ever_o close_o to_o i_o on_o one_o side_n but_o the_o vision_n not_o be_v imaginary_a or_o represent_v in_o any_o form_n i_o perceive_v not_o in_o what_o shape_n he_o be_v but_o as_o for_o his_o be_v ever_o on_o my_o right_a side_n i_o find_v and_o feel_v that_o very_o clear_o and_o that_o he_o be_v the_o witness_n of_o whatsoever_o i_o do_v and_o that_o i_o can_v not_o be_v recollect_v though_o it_o be_v never_o so_o little_a or_o rather_o indeed_o unless_o i_o be_v much_o divert_v or_o distract_v but_o i_o must_v needs_o in_o fine_a understand_v that_o he_o be_v very_o near_o i_o i_o than_o go_v immediate_o to_o my_o ghostly_a father_n be_v sufficient_o vex_v and_o grieved_a that_o i_o must_v let_v he_o know_v it_o he_o ask_v i_o what_o form_n or_o figure_n he_o have_v when_o i_o see_v he_o and_o i_o tell_v he_o that_o i_o have_v not_o see_v he_o upon_o this_o he_o inquire_v then_o how_o i_o know_v that_o it_o be_v christ_n our_o lord_n to_o this_o i_o answer_v that_o i_o know_v no_o more_o but_o that_o i_o can_v not_o possible_o fail_v or_o forbear_v to_o understand_v and_o know_v that_o he_o be_v close_o to_o i_o and_o that_o i_o find_v and_o feel_v it_o plain_o and_o that_o now_o the_o recollection_n of_o my_o soul_n in_o prayer_n of_o quiet_a be_v far_o great_a and_o more_o continual_a &_o that_o the_o effect_n be_v very_o different_a from_o those_o other_o which_o i_o have_v former_o find_v and_o that_o the_o thing_n be_v very_o certain_a and_o clear_a for_o my_o part_n i_o can_v do_v no_o more_o but_o bring_v diverse_a comparison_n whereby_o to_o give_v myself_o to_o be_v understand_v but_o yet_o certain_o in_o my_o opinion_n there_o be_v none_o which_o can_v suit_n very_o well_o to_o express_v this_o kind_n of_o vision_n for_o as_o this_o be_v one_o of_o the_o high_a kind_n as_o i_o be_v tell_v afterward_o by_o a_o certain_a holy_a man_n and_o of_o great_a spirit_n call_v fray_n pedro_n de_fw-fr alcantara_n who_o i_o shall_v mention_v afterward_o more_o at_o large_a and_o the_o same_o have_v be_v also_o tell_v i_o by_o other_o great_a learned_a man_n and_o that_o this_o be_v one_o of_o those_o favour_n where_o the_o devil_n can_v least_o intermeddle_v or_o intrude_v himself_o of_o all_o other_o so_o have_v we_o hear_v no_o word_n or_o term_n at_o all_o wherewith_o to_o declare_v it_o at_o least_o we_o who_o know_v so_o little_a though_o such_o as_o be_v learned_a will_n peradventure_o be_v able_a to_o do_v it_o better_o for_o when_o i_o say_v that_o i_o neither_o see_v this_o with_o the_o eye_n of_o the_o body_n nor_o of_o the_o mind_n because_o it_o be_v no_o imaginary_a vision_n how_o come_v i_o to_o understand_v and_o how_o can_v i_o undertake_v and_o affirm_v more_o clear_o &_o certain_o that_o christ_n our_o lord_n be_v stand_v near_o i_o then_o if_o i_o have_v see_v he_o with_o my_o very_a eye_n for_o it_o seem_v indeed_o to_o be_v as_o if_o a_o person_n be_v in_o the_o dark_a who_o see_v not_o another_o that_o stand_v by_o he_o or_o as_o if_o the_o same_o person_n be_v blind_a some_o resemblance_n i_o say_v this_o carry_v though_o yet_o not_o very_o much_o for_o in_o this_o last_o case_n a_o man_n may_v come_v to_o know_v it_o by_o the_o way_n of_o several_a sense_n because_o he_o may_v hear_v the_o other_o speak_v or_o stir_v or_o he_o may_v touch_v he_o but_o here_o there_o be_v nothing_o of_o all_o this_o nor_o be_v there_o here_o any_o darkness_n at_o all_o but_o only_o the_o thing_n be_v represent_v to_o the_o soul_n by_o a_o certain_a notice_n which_o be_v more_o clear_a than_o the_o sun_n i_o say_v not_o that_o any_o sun_n be_v see_v nor_o any_o clearness_n or_o brightness_n at_o all_o but_o only_o a_o certain_a light_n which_o illuminate_v and_o inform_v the_o understanding_n though_o yet_o without_o see_v any_o light_n to_o the_o end_n that_o the_o soul_n may_v enjoy_v so_o high_a a_o good_a now_o this_o bring_v great_a benefit_n with_o it_o yet_o be_v it_o not_o like_o such_o a_o presence_n of_o god_n as_o many_o time_n be_v feel_v in_o the_o mind_n and_o especial_o by_o such_o person_n as_o be_v arrive_v to_o union_n and_o quiet_a prayer_n who_o in_o resolve_v to_o begin_v to_o make_v that_o prayer_n seem_v to_o find_v the_o person_n ready_a at_o hand_n to_o who_o to_o speak_v and_o we_o seem_v to_o understand_v that_o he_o hear_v we_o by_o the_o effect_n and_o spiritual_a feeling_n which_o we_o find_v of_o great_a love_n and_o faith_n and_o other_o firm_a purpose_n and_o resolution_n accompany_v with_o much_o tenderness_n of_o denotion_n this_o be_v a_o great_a favour_n of_o almighty_a god_n and_o let_v he_o esteem_v it_o much_o who_o have_v it_o for_o it_o be_v a_o very_a elevate_v and_o high_a prayer_n but_o yet_o it_o be_v no_o vision_n but_o here_o it_o be_v understand_v that_o almighty_a god_n be_v there_o by_o the_o effect_n which_o as_o i_o have_v say_v he_o work_v in_o the_o soul_n for_o in_o this_o manner_n of_o prayer_n do_v his_o divine_a majesty_n vouchsafe_v to_o give_v hemself_n then_o and_o there_o to_o be_v feel_v but_o now_o here_o it_o be_v clear_o find_v that_o christ_n jesus_n the_o son_n of_o the_o virgin_n be_v present_a in_o that_o other_o manner_n of_o prayer_n there_o be_v certain_a influence_n of_o the_o divinity_n represent_v but_o here_o together_o with_o they_o we_o find_v that_o the_o most_o sacred_a humanity_n also_o of_o christ_n our_o lord_n do_v accompany_v we_o to_o do_v we_o favour_n my_o ghostly_a father_n than_o ask_v i_o this_o question_n who_o tell_v you_o that_o it_o be_v jesus_n christ_n himself_o tell_v i_o so_o answer_v i_o and_o that_o many_o time_n but_o yet_o even_o before_o he_o tell_v i_o so_o it_o be_v he_o print_v upon_o my_o understanding_n that_o it_o be_v he_o yea_o and_o even_o before_o this_o he_o tell_v i_o so_o and_o yet_o still_o i_o see_v he_o not_o if_o any_o man_n who_o i_o have_v never_o see_v but_o only_o have_v hear_v news_n of_o he_o shall_v come_v to_o speak_v with_o i_o i_o be_v either_o blind_a or_o in_o the_o dark_a and_o shall_v tell_v i_o who_o he_o be_v i_o shall_v believe_v he_o and_o yet_o i_o can_v not_o so_o
resolut_o affirm_v he_o to_o be_v that_o person_n as_o if_o i_o have_v see_v he_o but_o yet_o now_o in_o this_o other_o case_n i_o can_v for_o here_o there_o be_v imprint_v so_o clear_a a_o notice_n of_o he_o in_o the_o mind_n without_o see_v he_o that_o it_o seem_v a_o kind_n of_o impossibility_n to_o doubt_v it_o for_o our_o lord_n will_v have_v it_o so_o engrave_v upon_o the_o understanding_n that_o it_o can_v no_o more_o be_v question_v then_o even_o that_o which_o we_o see_v no_o nor_o yet_o so_o much_o for_o in_o thing_n which_o we_o see_v there_o remain_v sometime_o a_o suspicion_n whether_o we_o may_v not_o have_v fancy_v such_o a_o thing_n and_o so_o mistake_v it_o but_o here_o though_o upon_o the_o sudden_a and_o as_o it_o be_v by_o way_n of_o surprise_n one_o may_v begin_v to_o fall_v upon_o a_o kind_n of_o suspicion_n or_o doubt_v yet_o still_o upon_o the_o whole_a matter_n we_o remain_v in_o so_o great_a a_o certainty_n as_o that_o the_o doubt_n continue_v not_o to_o have_v place_n and_o so_o also_o do_v it_o fall_v out_o though_o yet_o in_o a_o different_a manner_n that_o god_n instruct_v the_o soul_n &_o speak_v to_o it_o but_o yet_o without_o speak_v at_o all_o in_o such_o sort_n as_o i_o have_v already_o declare_v this_o be_v a_o certain_a kind_n of_o language_n which_o have_v so_o much_o of_o the_o celestial_a in_o it_o that_o it_o can_v well_o be_v give_v to_o be_v understand_v by_o we_o here_o how_o much_o soever_o we_o may_v desire_v it_o unless_o our_o lord_n himself_o be_v please_v to_o teach_v it_o by_o experience_n for_o our_o bless_a lord_n convey_v and_o place_n that_o in_o the_o most_o interior_a part_n of_o the_o soul_n which_o he_o be_v please_v that_o the_o same_o soul_n shall_v understand_v and_o know_v and_o there_o do_v he_o represent_v it_o without_o either_o any_o image_n of_o his_o person_n or_o any_o form_n of_o word_n but_o only_o after_o the_o way_n of_o that_o kind_n of_o vision_n which_o i_o have_v already_o touch_v and_o now_o let_v this_o manner_n of_o almighty_a god_n make_v the_o soul_n understand_v what_o he_o will_v in_o the_o way_n of_o great_a truth_n and_o mystery_n be_v much_o observe_v for_o many_o time_n that_o which_o i_o understand_v when_o our_o lord_n declare_v any_o vision_n which_o his_o divine_a majesty_n be_v please_v to_o represent_v to_o i_o be_v after_o this_o manner_n and_o i_o think_v it_o be_v in_o such_o occasion_n as_o where_o the_o devil_n be_v least_o able_a to_o intermeddle_v or_o intrude_v himself_o for_o these_o reason_n and_o if_o they_o be_v not_o find_v i_o be_o likely_a enough_o to_o be_v deceive_v now_o this_o kind_n of_o vision_n and_o language_n be_v so_o inward_o a_o thing_n of_o spirit_n that_o here_o there_o be_v no_o kind_n of_o spring_v or_o even_o stir_v in_o any_o of_o the_o power_n of_o the_o mind_n nor_o yet_o in_o any_o of_o the_o sense_n of_o the_o body_n in_o my_o opinion_n by_o which_o mean_n the_o devil_n may_v be_v able_a to_o make_v himself_o the_o gainer_n thus_o i_o say_v it_o happen_v sometime_o as_o namely_o when_o it_o last_v but_o a_o very_a little_a while_n for_o at_o some_o other_o time_n i_o think_v that_o neither_o the_o power_n of_o the_o mind_n be_v suspend_v nor_o yet_o the_o sense_n of_o the_o body_n disable_v but_o that_o they_o be_v all_o at_o home_n and_o in_o use_n the_o other_o happen_v not_o always_o in_o this_o degree_n of_o contemplation_n but_o rather_o very_o seldom_o i_o say_v that_o when_o they_o be_v so_o lose_v we_o neither_o operate_v any_o thing_n nor_o do_v any_o thing_n but_o all_o seem_v to_o be_v the_o work_n of_o our_o lord_n it_o be_v as_o when_o a_o food_n be_v already_o convey_v into_o the_o stomach_n without_o either_o our_o have_v eat_v it_o or_o so_o much_o as_o know_v who_o lay_v it_o there_o but_o only_o we_o understand_v well_o that_o there_o it_o be_v though_o in_o that_o case_n it_o be_v neither_o know_v what_o the_o food_n be_v nor_o who_o carry_v it_o thither_o but_o here_o it_o be_v very_o differet_fw-la for_o here_o the_o food_n be_v know_v though_o yet_o how_o it_o get_v thither_o i_o can_v tell_v for_o neither_o do_v i_o see_v it_o nor_o understand_v it_o nor_o be_v i_o ever_o move_v to_o desire_v it_o nor_o have_v it_o ever_o come_v to_o my_o knowledge_n before_o that_o such_o a_o thing_n can_v possible_o be_v in_o the_o speech_n upon_o which_o i_o touch_v before_o almighty_a god_n make_v the_o understanding_n observe_v and_o reflect_v upon_o that_o which_o be_v say_v whether_o it_o desire_v to_o understand_v or_o no._n for_o there_o it_o seem_v that_o the_o soul_n have_v some_o other_o kind_n of_o eat_v wherewith_o to_o hear_v &_o that_o he_o make_v she_o harken_v and_o not_o the_o while_n to_o think_v of_o somewhat_o else_o as_o if_o one_o who_o can_v hear_v well_o be_v not_o suffer_v to_o stop_n his_o ear_n and_o that_o they_o cry_v out_o aloud_o to_o he_o who_o will_v therefore_o be_v fain_o to_o hear_v they_o whether_o he_o will_v or_o no_o but_o somewhat_o in_o fine_a he_o do_v since_o he_o be_v attentive_a to_o understand_v what_o they_o say_v but_o here_o the_o soul_n do_v inst_n nothing_o for_o even_o that_o little_a which_o be_v do_v in_o the_o former_a way_n and_o which_o be_v only_o to_o harken_v be_v take_v from_o she_o now_o for_o now_o she_o find_v all_o dress_v to_o her_o hand_n yea_o and_o all_o eat_v by_o she_o too_o so_o that_o now_o there_o be_v nothing_o to_o be_v do_v by_o she_o but_o to_o enjoy_v just_o so_o as_o any_o one_o who_o without_o ever_o have_v learn_v or_o so_o much_o as_o endeavour_v to_o read_v and_o much_o more_o without_o any_o study_v at_o all_o shall_v find_v that_o whole_a science_n already_o possess_v by_o himself_o and_o that_o without_o know_v at_o all_o either_o how_o or_o whence_o it_o come_v since_o he_o have_v never_o procure_v to_o acquire_v it_o with_o so_o much_o as_o learn_v his_o a._n b._n c._n and_o this_o last_o comparison_n i_o think_v declare_v some_o part_n of_o this_o celestial_a gift_n for_o the_o soul_n find_v herself_o here_o to_o be_v grow_v wise_a upon_o a_o sudden_a and_o that_o the_o mystery_n of_o the_o most_o holy_a trinity_n and_o other_o most_o sublime_a article_n be_v so_o exact_o declare_v to_o she_o that_o there_o be_v not_o any_o theologue_n or_o divine_a in_o the_o world_n with_o who_o she_o may_v not_o adventure_v to_o dispute_v concern_v the_o truth_n of_o those_o high_a point_n the_o soul_n remain_v here_o in_o such_o a_o amazement_n that_o some_o one_o such_o favour_n as_o this_o suffice_v to_o work_v a_o total_a change_n in_o she_o and_o to_o make_v her_o love_n nothing_o but_o only_o he_o who_o without_o any_o labour_n at_o all_o of_o she_o have_v make_v her_o capable_a of_o so_o unspeakable_a blessing_n and_o to_o who_o he_o communicate_v his_o secret_n and_o who_o he_o treat_v with_o argument_n of_o so_o great_a and_o dear_a friendship_n and_o love_n that_o they_o soul_n endure_v not_o so_o much_o as_o to_o be_v write_v for_o he_o do_v some_o such_o kind_n of_o favour_n as_o may_v even_o bespeak_v a_o kind_n of_o suspicion_n and_o doubt_v in_o the_o hearer_n in_o regard_n that_o they_o be_v of_o so_o great_a admiration_n and_o have_v be_v impart_v to_o a_o person_n who_o have_v deserve_v they_o so_o very_o ill_o and_o in_o fine_a if_o we_o bring_v not_o a_o very_a livelie_a and_o even_o lusty_a faith_n with_o we_o they_o can_v be_v believe_v and_o therefore_o i_o resolve_v to_o speak_v of_o few_o of_o those_o which_o our_o lord_n have_v be_v please_v to_o vouchsafe_v i_o unless_o i_o be_v express_o command_v and_o unless_o it_o be_v of_o some_o few_o vision_n which_o perhaps_o may_v ferue_v to_o do_v good_a in_o some_o kind_n to_o the_o end_n that_o any_o such_o person_n as_o to_o who_o our_o lord_n may_v be_v please_v to_o impart_v the_o like_a may_v not_o wonder_v and_o think_v it_o impossible_a as_o i_o do_v or_o else_o that_o so_o i_o may_v declare_v the_o manner_n and_o way_n by_o which_o it_o have_v please_v our_o lord_n to_o conduct_v my_o soul_n that_o be_v the_o very_a thing_n which_o they_o have_v command_v i_o to_o write_v return_v therefore_o now_o to_o this_o manner_n of_o understand_v these_o kind_n of_o thing_n i_o think_v our_o lord_n be_v please_v that_o by_o all_o mean_n this_o soul_n of_o we_o shall_v have_v some_o notice_n here_o even_o of_o that_o which_o pass_v in_o heaven_n and_o that_o as_o soul_n do_v there_o understand_v one_o another_o real_o without_o speak_v which_o for_o my_o part_n i_o never_o know_v before_o and_o this_o be_v most_o certain_o true_a till_o our_o
by_o procure_v that_o few_o may_v have_v the_o wit_n to_o understand_v thou_o right_a but_o now_o to_o what_o a_o pass_n be_v we_o come_v since_o some_o will_v needs_o conceive_v that_o god_n be_v the_o pride_n better_o serve_v by_o they_o when_o they_o get_v themselves_o to_o be_v hold_v for_o discreet_a and_o wise_a yea_o this_o indeed_o must_v needs_o be_v so_o as_o now_o we_o be_v grow_v to_o understand_v the_o word_n discretion_n for_o now_o we_o will_v needs_o make_v ourselves_o believe_v that_o it_o be_v matter_n forsooth_o of_o small_a edification_n not_o to_o go_v up_o and_o down_o the_o world_n with_o great_a authority_n and_o composition_n of_o clothing_n and_o dress_v every_o one_o according_a to_o his_o condition_n nay_o even_o to_o the_o friar_n and_o priest_n and_o nun_n some_o be_v now_o grow_v to_o be_v of_o opinion_n that_o to_o wear_v any_o thing_n which_o be_v old_a or_o piece_a be_v a_o kind_n of_o novelty_n and_o a_o give_a scandal_n to_o the_o weak_a and_o so_o it_o be_v also_o now_o if_o they_o live_v with_o much_o recollection_n and_o use_v mental_a prayer_n to_o such_o a_o pass_n the_o world_n be_v grow_v but_o the_o study_n and_o practice_v of_o christian_a perfection_n &_o the_o great_a impulse_n which_o the_o saint_n be_v wont_a to_o have_v for_o the_o obtain_n thereof_o be_v the_o thing_n which_o i_o believe_v do_v more_o harm_n to_o the_o miserable_a &_o wretched_a action_n which_o be_v commit_v by_o evil_a man_n in_o these_o time_n than_o it_o can_v possible_o be_v of_o scandal_n to_o any_o creature_n that_o such_o as_o be_v religious_a shall_v publish_v that_o to_o the_o world_n by_o their_o work_n of_o which_o they_o talk_v by_o their_o word_n to_o the_o end_n that_o so_o mankind_n may_v grow_v to_o hold_v this_o world_n in_o mean_a account_n for_o out_o of_o such_o kind_n of_o scandal_n as_o these_o our_o lord_n will_v draw_v great_a service_n for_o himself_o &_o good_a for_o they_o and_o if_o some_o man_n will_v needs_o be_v scandalize_v at_o it_o other_o will_v yet_o have_v remorse_n &_o at_o least_o we_o shall_v remain_v with_o some_o little_a design_n or_o draught_n of_o that_o which_o christ_n our_o lord_n &_o his_o apostle_n endure_v for_o we_o since_o we_o have_v now_o more_o need_n of_o it_o than_o ever_o but_o o_o what_o a_o excellent_a example_n do_v almighty_a god_n take_v late_o from_o we_o in_o the_o person_n of_o that_o bless_a man_n fray_n penance_n pedro_n de_fw-fr alcantara_n the_o world_n be_v now_o no_o long_o able_a even_o to_o endure_v such_o a_o perfection_n as_o he_o for_o now_o forsooth_o they_o say_v that_o the_o health_n of_o man_n be_v grow_v weak_a and_o that_o now_o we_o do_v not_o live_v in_o those_o former_a time_n but_o that_o holy_a man_n live_v in_o this_o time_n and_o yet_o he_o have_v as_o full_a and_o great_a spirit_n towards_o almighty_a god_n as_o man_n have_v in_o the_o day_n of_o old_a and_o so_o he_o tread_v the_o world_n down_o under_o his_o foot_n and_o though_o every_o body_n do_v not_o go_v barefoot_a nor_o perform_v so_o sharp_a and_o strict_a penance_n as_o he_o yet_o be_v there_o many_o other_o way_n as_o i_o have_v say_v before_o whereby_o a_o man_n may_v tread_v the_o world_n under_o his_o foot_n and_o our_o lord_n will_v teach_v we_o these_o way_n when_o he_o find_v that_o a_o man_n mind_n be_v fit_a and_o well-prepared_n for_o they_o and_o how_o great_a a_o one_o do_v almighty_a god_n bestow_v upon_o this_o saint_n of_o who_o now_o i_o speak_v to_o go_v through_o seven_o and_o forty_o year_n of_o his_o life_n with_o so_o sharp_a and_o rigorous_a penance_n as_o be_v general_o know_v and_o i_o will_v say_v some_o little_a thing_n of_o it_o because_o i_o know_v that_o it_o be_v all_o most_o certain_o true_a he_o tell_v i_o a_o certain_a particular_a and_o so_o he_o also_o do_v a_o other_o from_o who_o he_o be_v as_o little_a curious_a to_o conceal_v himself_o as_o from_o i_o but_o as_o for_o i_o the_o only_a reason_n why_o he_o do_v it_o be_v the_o love_n he_o bear_v i_o because_o our_o lord_n will_v have_v it_o so_o to_o the_o end_n that_o he_o may_v help_v i_o and_o encourage_v i_o also_o in_o a_o certain_a time_n of_o so_o great_a necessity_n as_o i_o have_v relate_v and_o now_o i_o will_v declare_v how_o to_o the_o best_a of_o my_o remembrance_n he_o say_v that_o he_o have_v sleep_v but_o one_o hour_n and_o a_o half_a in_o the_o four_o and_o twenty_o hour_n of_o day_n and_o night_n for_o two_o and_o forty_o year_n together_o and_o that_o it_o be_v the_o great_a mortification_n and_o trouble_v of_o penance_n that_o he_o have_v feel_v in_o those_o beginning_n to_o overcome_v himself_o in_o point_n of_o sleep_n and_o that_o in_o order_n also_o to_o this_o end_n he_o be_v always_o at_o other_o time_n either_o stand_n upon_o his_o foot_n or_o else_o kneel_v and_o that_o only_a when_o he_o sleep_v he_o sit_v and_o that_o with_o his_o head_n leaning_z aside_o upon_o a_o certain_a little_a piece_n of_o wood_n which_o be_v fasten_v for_o that_o purpose_n in_o the_o wall_n to_o extend_v his_o body_n at_o length_n in_o his_o cell_n be_v not_o possible_a for_o he_o though_o he_o shall_v have_v a_o mind_n to_o it_o for_o it_o be_v know_v to_o have_v have_v but_o four_o foot_n and_o a_o half_a in_o length_n in_o all_o these_o two_o and_o forty_o year_n he_o never_o put_v on_o his_o capouch_n or_o hood_n how_o hot_a soever_o the_o sun_n or_o how_o great_a soever_o the_o rain_n may_v be_v nor_o do_v he_o ever_o wear_v any_o thing_n upon_o his_o foot_n nor_o be_v his_o body_n clad_v but_o only_o with_o a_o habit_n of_o thick_a course_n sackcloth_n without_o any_o other_o thing_n at_o all_o upon_o he_o and_o this_o be_v so_o very_o straight_o as_o that_o he_o may_v be_v only_o able_a to_o put_v it_o on_o with_o a_o little_a short_a mantle_n of_o the_o same_o upon_o it_o he_o tell_v i_o that_o when_o the_o weather_n be_v extreme_o cold_a he_o be_v wont_a to_o put_v off_o his_o say_a mantle_n and_o to_o leave_v also_o the_o door_n and_o the_o little_a window_n of_o his_o cell_n open_a that_o so_o when_o afterward_o he_o put_v the_o mantle_n on_o again_o and_o shut_v his_o door_n he_o may_v give_v his_o body_n so_o much_o contentment_n by_o it_o as_o that_o it_o may_v be_v quiet_v without_o more_o clothing_n it_o be_v a_o very_a ordinary_a thing_n with_o he_o not_o to_o eat_v till_o the_o three_o day_n after_o he_o have_v eat_v last_o and_o he_o tell_v i_o by_o way_n of_o answer_n to_o the_o wonder_n in_o which_o i_o be_v at_o it_o that_o this_o be_v a_o thing_n very_o possible_a for_o one_o who_o will_v accustom_v himself_o to_o it_o and_o a_o certain_a companion_n of_o he_o also_o tell_v i_o that_o it_o happen_v for_o he_o sometime_o not_o to_o eat_v any_o thing_n at_o all_o in_o eight_o day_n but_o that_o perhaps_o may_v happen_v when_o he_o be_v in_o prayer_n for_o he_o use_v to_o have_v great_a rapt_n and_o vehement_a impulse_n or_o impetuosity_n of_o the_o love_n of_o almighty_a god_n whereof_o myself_o be_v once_o a_o eye-witness_n his_o poverty_n be_v extreme_a and_o so_o also_o be_v his_o mortification_n even_o from_o his_o youth_n for_o he_o tell_v i_o that_o in_o his_o time_n it_o have_v happen_v to_o he_o to_o live_v three_o year_n in_o some_o one_o house_n of_o his_o own_o order_n and_o yet_o not_o to_o know_v any_o one_o of_o the_o religious_a of_o the_o same_o house_n but_o only_o by_o their_o speech_n for_o he_o never_o liftedup_a his_o eye_n and_o so_o whensoever_o he_o be_v to_o go_v of_o necessity_n to_o any_o place_n either_o in_o the_o street_n or_o upon_o highway_n he_o can_v by_o no_o mean_n tell_v how_o to_o do_v it_o but_o by_o follow_v the_o other_o religious_a as_o for_o woman_n he_o never_o look_v upon_o any_o of_o they_o for_o the_o space_n of_o many_o year_n and_o tell_v i_o that_o it_o be_v just_a all_o one_o with_o he_o to_o see_v any_o body_n or_o not_o to_o see_v they_o when_o i_o come_v at_o length_n to_o know_v he_o he_o be_v very_o old_a and_o his_o weakness_n and_o leanenes_n so_o extreme_a that_o he_o seem_v not_o to_o be_v compose_v &_o make_v but_o as_o even_o of_o the_o very_a root_n of_o tree_n with_o all_o this_o sanctity_n of_o he_o he_o be_v very_o affable_a though_o yet_o he_o be_v wont_a to_o express_v himself_o in_o very_a few_o word_n unless_o it_o be_v by_o occasion_n of_o some_o question_n which_o may_v be_v ask_v he_o and_o in_o that_o case_n he_o be_v excellent_a company_n for_o he_o have_v a_o very_a choice_n understanding_n i_o can_v have_v a_o mind_n to_o
say_v very_o much_o more_o of_o he_o if_o i_o fear_v not_o that_o your_o reverence_n will_v ask_v i_o why_o i_o put_v myself_o upon_o this_o kind_n of_o discourse_n yea_o and_o i_o have_v not_o write_v even_o this_o little_a without_o some_o fear_n and_o therefore_o i_o say_v no_o more_o but_o only_o that_o he_o die_v as_o he_o live_v in_o preach_v and_o admonish_v the_o religious_a of_o his_o order_n and_o when_o he_o see_v that_o he_o be_v even_o come_v to_o a_o end_n he_o say_v the_o psalm_n of_o laetatus_fw-la sum_fw-la in_o he_o quae_fw-la dicta_fw-la sunt_fw-la mihi_fw-la in_fw-la domum_fw-la domini_fw-la ibimus_fw-la i_o have_v rejoice_v in_o that_o which_o they_o have_v say_v to_o i_o we_o will_v go_v into_o the_o house_n of_o our_o lord_n and_o so_o stoop_v dough_n and_o kneeling_z he_o die_v after_o this_o our_o lord_n have_v be_v please_v to_o let_v i_o enjoy_v more_o of_o he_o now_o than_o i_o do_v when_o he_o be_v alive_a for_o he_o give_v i_o counsel_n in_o diverse_a occasion_n and_o i_o have_v see_v he_o many_o time_n in_o extreme_a glory_n the_o first_o time_n that_o he_o appear_v to_o i_o he_o say_v o_o how_o happy_a penance_n be_v that_o which_o have_v obtain_v so_o high_a a_o reward_n with_o many_o other_o thing_n of_o that_o nature_n a_o year_n before_o he_o die_v he_o appear_v to_o i_o when_o we_o be_v absent_a from_o one_o another_o and_o it_o be_v declare_v to_o i_o that_o he_o shall_v die_v and_o i_o advertise_v he_o thereof_o whilst_o he_o be_v distant_a some_o league_n from_o i_o at_o the_o instant_n when_o he_o expire_v afterward_o he_o also_o appear_v to_o i_o and_o tell_v i_o that_o he_o be_v then_o go_v to_o rest_n i_o do_v not_o believe_v the_o thing_n but_o yet_o i_o relate_v it_o to_o some_o and_o within_o eight_o day_n after_o the_o news_n come_v to_o we_o that_o he_o be_v dead_a or_o rather_o to_o speak_v more_o proper_o that_o he_o have_v then_o begin_v to_o live_v for_o ever_o and_o here_o behold_v how_o the_o severe_a penance_n of_o his_o life_n be_v finish_v in_o so_o large_a a_o proportion_n of_o glory_n that_o i_o think_v he_o be_v of_o more_o comfort_n to_o i_o now_o then_o when_o he_o be_v here_o our_o lord_n tell_v i_o once_o that_o man_n shall_v not_o ask_v any_o thing_n in_o his_o name_n wherein_o he_o will_v not_o hear_v they_o and_o myself_o have_v recommend_v many_o to_o he_o to_o the_o end_n that_o he_o may_v beg_v they_o of_o our_o lord_n and_o i_o have_v find_v they_o grant_v let_v the_o same_o lord_n be_v bless_v for_o ever_o amen_o but_o what_o a_o talk_a have_v i_o keep_v here_o that_o so_o i_o may_v stir_v your_o reverence_n up_o not_o to_o make_v the_o least_o account_n at_o all_o of_o any_o thing_n in_o this_o world_n as_o if_o you_o know_v not_o this_o already_o or_o as_o if_o you_o be_v not_o resolve_v to_o leave_v it_o all_o or_o rather_o as_o if_o you_o have_v not_o already_o put_v all_o this_o in_o execution_n but_o i_o see_v such_o a_o deal_n of_o perdition_n in_o the_o world_n that_o howsoever_o my_o say_n it_o serve_v for_o nothing_o but_o only_o to_o weary_v i_o by_o write_v it_o yet_o withal_o it_o be_v a_o kind_n of_o unweary_v and_o ease_v for_o i_o to_o do_v it_o and_o so_o all_o that_o which_o i_o be_o say_v prove_v to_o be_v against_o myself_o our_o bless_a lord_n forgive_v i_o whereinsoever_o i_o may_v have_v offend_v concern_v this_o particular_a and_o i_o beseech_v your_o reverence_n also_o to_o pardon_v i_o for_o incommodate_v you_o to_o little_a purpose_n but_o it_o seem_v that_o i_o will_v needs_o make_v you_o do_v pennance_n for_o that_o wherein_o myself_o commit_v the_o sinne._n the_o eight_o and_o twenty_o chapter_n she_o treat_v of_o the_o great_a favour_n which_o our_o lord_n do_v she_o and_o how_o he_o appear_v to_o she_o the_o first_o time_n she_o declare_v that_o it_o be_v a_o vision_n which_o show_v itself_o by_o way_n of_o the_o imagination_n and_o discover_v the_o great_a effect_n and_o testimony_n which_o such_o thing_n leave_v in_o the_o soul_n when_o they_o be_v of_o almighty_a god_n this_o chapter_n be_v of_o great_a instruction_n and_o deserve_v to_o be_v note_v much_o but_o now_o to_o return_v to_o our_o purpose_n i_o have_v that_o kind_n of_o vision_n aforesaid_a for_o some_o few_o day_n after_o a_o kind_n of_o continual_a manner_n and_o it_o be_v so_o useful_a to_o i_o that_o i_o never_o go_v then_o out_o of_o prayer_n and_o beside_o whatsoever_o i_o then_o happen_v to_o do_v i_o procure_v it_o may_v be_v in_o such_o sort_n as_o that_o it_o shall_v not_o displease_v he_o who_o i_o evident_o see_v to_o be_v there_o as_o a_o witness_n of_o all_o that_o which_o pass_v and_o though_o it_o be_v very_o true_a that_o sometime_o i_o have_v some_o fear_n through_o the_o multitude_n of_o those_o thing_n which_o they_o will_v be_v say_v to_o i_o yet_o that_o trouble_n will_v not_o use_v to_o last_v long_o because_o i_o be_v well_o assure_v and_o satisfy_v by_o our_o lord_n himself_o be_v one_o day_n in_o prayer_n it_o please_v our_o bless_a lord_n to_o show_v i_o his_o hand_n and_o nothing_o but_o his_o hand_n and_o they_o have_v such_o a_o excess_n and_o height_n of_o beauty_n in_o they_o as_o i_o be_o not_o able_a by_o any_o mean_n to_o express_v but_o this_o strike_v i_o into_o a_o very_a great_a fear_n as_o indeed_o every_o novelty_n be_v wont_a to_o bring_v i_o in_o the_o beginning_n of_o any_o supernatural_a favour_n which_o our_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o do_v i_o within_o few_o day_n after_o this_o i_o see_v also_o his_o divine_a face_n which_o do_v total_o i_o think_v leave_v i_o absorb_v for_o my_o part_n i_o can_v not_o understand_v why_o our_o bless_a lord_n show_v himself_o to_o i_o so_o by_o little_a and_o little_a since_o afterward_o he_o resolve_v to_o do_v i_o the_o favour_n that_o i_o may_v see_v he_o all_z till_o i_o come_v to_o understand_v that_o our_o lord_n go_v guide_v and_o conduct_v i_o according_a to_o my_o natural_a weakness_n and_o let_v he_o be_v eternal_o bless_v for_o it_o since_o so_o great_a and_o high_a glory_n as_o that_o all_o together_o encounter_v with_o a_o subject_n which_o be_v so_o base_a and_o wicked_a as_o myself_o will_v never_o have_v be_v endure_v and_o thus_o our_o bless_a and_o merciful_a lord_n go_v so_o dispose_v of_o thing_n as_o i_o have_v here_o express_v your_o reverence_n will_v perhaps_o imagine_v that_o there_o be_v no_o need_n of_o much_o courage_n and_o strength_n of_o mind_n for_o the_o behold_n of_o a_o face_n and_o hand_n which_o be_v so_o beautiful_a but_o yet_o it_o be_v to_o be_v understand_v that_o such_o body_n as_o be_v compatible_a glorify_v have_v so_o very_o great_a a_o height_n of_o beauty_n that_o the_o glory_n which_o they_o bring_v to_o behold_v a_o thing_n so_o delightful_a and_o supernatural_a do_v even_o as_o it_o be_v exceed_v our_o capacity_n and_o so_o consequent_o i_o grow_v to_o be_v all_o in_o much_o disorder_n and_o trouble_v though_o yet_o afterward_o i_o remain_v with_o certainty_n and_o security_n and_o such_o other_o effect_n as_o that_o all_o fear_n do_v quick_o vanish_v upon_o a_o certain_a day_n of_o s._n paul_n whilst_o i_o be_v hear_v mass_n the_o whole_a humanity_n of_o christ_n our_o lord_n be_v represent_v to_o i_o as_o it_o use_v to_o be_v paint_v after_o the_o resurrection_n but_o with_o so_o great_a beauty_n and_o majesty_n as_o i_o write_v once_o to_o your_o reverence_n when_o you_o command_v i_o so_o express_o to_o do_v it_o and_o i_o remember_v that_o i_o be_v trouble_v enough_o at_o it_o for_o in_o fine_a those_o thing_n can_v be_v do_v without_o a_o body_n be_v even_o annihilate_v herself_o who_o do_v they_o but_o yet_o howsoever_o i_o do_v what_o you_o command_v i_o the_o best_a i_o can_v and_o therefore_o i_o need_v not_o take_v care_n to_o repeat_v it_o so_o parparticular_o now_o only_o i_o will_v declare_v thus_o much_o that_o if_o there_o be_v no_o other_o thing_n even_o in_o heaven_n to_o give_v delight_n and_o gust_n to_o our_o sight_n but_o only_o the_o excessive_a beauty_n of_o glorified_a body_n that_o felicity_n will_v be_v even_o immense_a but_o especial_o to_o behold_v that_o most_o sacred_a humanity_n of_o jesus_n christ_n our_o lord_n must_v be_v matter_n of_o incomparable_a glory_n for_o since_o the_o majesty_n thereof_o be_v discover_v to_o be_v so_o great_a whensoever_o it_o be_v represent_v to_o we_o here_o according_a to_o that_o proportion_n where_o of_o our_o misery_n in_o this_o mortal_a life_n of_o we_o be_v capable_a what_o do_v we_o think_v it_o will_v then_o occur_v to_o be_v when_o we_o shall_v so_o very_o
entire_o be_v admit_v to_o enjoy_v so_o high_a a_o good_n this_o vision_n though_o it_o be_v imaginary_a or_o represent_v itself_o by_o way_n of_o mental_a image_n to_o the_o imagination_n be_v never_o see_v by_o i_o by_o these_o eye_n of_o my_o body_n nor_o indeed_o be_v any_o other_o vision_n that_o i_o ever_o have_v but_o only_o by_o the_o eye_n of_o my_o mind_n and_o they_o who_o know_v these_o thing_n better_a than_o i_o affirm_v that_o the_o former_a vision_n be_v of_o a_o high_a &_o more_o perfect_a kind_n than_o this_o and_o this_o also_o much_o more_o than_o those_o other_o which_o be_v see_v by_o these_o eye_n of_o flesh_n and_o blood_n for_o these_o latter_a they_o say_v be_v of_o the_o low_a danger_n kind_n of_o all_o and_o wherein_o the_o devil_n be_v able_a to_o induce_v &_o impose_v most_o illusion_n though_o yet_o then_o i_o can_v not_o understand_v any_o such_o matter_n but_o rather_o desire_a that_o when_o i_o be_v to_o receive_v any_o favour_n of_o that_o kind_n it_o may_v be_v so_o as_o that_o i_o may_v see_v it_o with_o my_o corporeal_a eye_n to_o the_o end_n that_o my_o ghostly_a father_n may_v no_o long_o tell_v i_o that_o i_o do_v but_o fancy_v such_o thing_n and_o so_o it_o happen_v also_o to_o myself_o as_o soon_o as_o it_o be_v pass_v but_o it_o be_v even_o as_o it_o be_v but_o at_o the_o very_a instant_n that_o even_o myself_o also_o conceive_v that_o i_o do_v but_o fancy_v it_o indeed_o and_o so_o i_o be_v a_o little_a trouble_v sometime_o for_o have_v tell_v my_o ghostly_a father_n as_o i_o do_v as_o doubt_v whether_o i_o have_v not_o deceive_v he_o and_o now_o this_o be_v the_o occasion_n of_o another_o lamentation_n of_o i_o and_o so_o i_o go_v to_o he_o again_o and_o tell_v he_o of_o it_o upon_o this_o he_o ask_v i_o whether_o indeed_o i_o have_v think_v so_o before_z and_o whether_o i_o have_v any_o purpose_n to_o deceive_v he_o as_o for_o i_o i_o tell_v he_o what_o i_o hold_v to_o be_v the_o truth_n i_o who_o forasmuch_o as_o i_o be_o able_a to_o understand_v of_o myself_o have_v no_o mind_n at_o all_o to_o lie_v nor_o intend_v any_o such_o matter_n as_o that_o nor_o will_v i_o for_o the_o whole_a world_n have_v tell_v he_o any_o one_o thing_n for_o another_o now_o this_o do_v he_o know_v very_o well_o and_o so_o he_o do_v his_o best_a to_o quiet_v i_o but_o i_o have_v so_o great_a aversion_n from_o go_v to_o give_v he_o trouble_v with_o these_o thing_n that_o i_o know_v not_o how_o the_o devil_n can_v make_v i_o for_o my_o great_a torment_n conceive_v that_o i_o have_v feign_v in_o what_o i_o have_v say_v but_o our_o lord_n make_v such_o haste_n to_o do_v i_o a_o favour_n and_o to_o unfold_v this_o truth_n to_o i_o that_o i_o grow_v quick_o to_o be_v out_o of_o all_o doubt_n whether_o it_o be_v a_o thing_n of_o fancy_n or_o no_o and_o since_o that_o time_n i_o see_v my_o folly_n very_o clear_o for_o though_o i_o shall_v employ_v many_o year_n in_o conceive_v how_o i_o may_v be_v able_a to_o figure_v a_o thing_n of_o so_o extreme_a beauty_n i_o shall_v never_o have_v either_o the_o power_n or_o the_o wit_n to_o do_v it_o for_o it_o do_v far_o exceed_v all_o that_o which_o can_v possible_o be_v imagine_v in_o this_o world_n by_o the_o very_a clearness_n and_o brightness_n thereof_o nor_o yet_o be_v it_o any_o such_o brightness_n as_o dazzle_v but_o a_o brightness_n which_o be_v accompany_v with_o a_o most_o sweet_a kind_n of_o beauty_n a_o brightness_n i_o say_v there_o be_v infuse_v which_o give_v extreme_a delight_n to_o the_o sight_n and_o which_o be_v far_o from_o weary_v it_o nor_o do_v the_o light_n thereof_o also_o offend_v whereby_o we_o see_v this_o object_n of_o so_o divine_a beauty_n this_o i_o say_v be_v a_o light_n so_o very_o different_a from_o all_o that_o of_o this_o inferior_a world_n that_o even_o the_o brightness_n of_o the_o sun_n itself_o which_o we_o see_v be_v so_o dim_a and_o dull_a a_o thing_n in_o comparison_n of_o that_o claritie_n and_o light_n which_o be_v represent_v to_o our_o sight_n by_o this_o mean_n that_o even_o the_o eye_n will_v searce_v open_a themselves_o to_o behold_v it_o for_o it_o be_v as_o if_o it_o be_v a_o most_o pure_a water_n run_v all_o upon_o crystal_n with_o the_o sun_n reflect_v upon_o it_o and_o strike_v through_o it_o in_o comparison_n of_o some_o other_o which_o be_v of_o a_o muddy_a kind_n and_o in_o a_o cloudy_a day_n and_o which_o be_v run_v also_o upon_o earth_n not_o yet_o that_o there_o be_v any_o sun_n represent_v in_o it_o nor_o be_v that_o light_n like_o the_o light_n of_o the_o sun_n for_o in_o fine_a this_o light_n of_o the_o vision_n seem_v a_o very_a natural_a light_n whereas_o the_o other_o be_v but_o a_o kind_n of_o artificial_a thing_n in_o comparison_n thereof_o this_o be_v a_o light_n which_o never_o set_v but_o as_o it_o be_v ever_o light_a so_o be_v there_o nothing_o which_o can_v disturb_v it_o but_o in_o fine_a it_o be_v a_o thing_n of_o such_o a_o kind_n as_o that_o how_o sublime_a soever_o the_o understanding_n of_o any_o creature_n may_v be_v he_o will_v never_o in_o all_o the_o day_n of_o his_o life_n be_v able_a to_o conceive_v right_o what_o kind_n of_o thing_n it_o be_v and_o it_o please_v almighty_a god_n to_o set_v it_o before_o we_o so_o very_o speedy_o that_o we_o can_v open_v our_o eye_n so_o soon_o if_o that_o be_v needful_a for_o the_o see_v it_o but_o it_o help_v we_o indeed_o no_o more_o in_o this_o case_n to_o have_v they_o open_a then_o shut_v for_o whensoever_o our_o lord_n be_v please_v we_o see_v it_o even_o whether_o we_o will_v or_o no._n not_o be_v there_o any_o distraction_n in_o the_o world_n which_o may_v be_v able_a to_o divert_v we_o from_o it_o nor_o be_v there_o any_o power_n which_o can_v resist_v it_o nor_o be_v there_o also_o on_o the_o other_o side_n any_o manner_n of_o care_n and_o diligence_n which_o may_v suffice_v to_o procure_v it_o and_o i_o have_v have_v good_a experience_n of_o this_o as_o i_o shall_v find_v a_o fit_a time_n to_o declare_v but_o that_o which_o i_o will_v fain_o relate_v now_o be_v the_o manner_n how_o our_o bless_a lord_n be_v please_v to_o show_v himself_o by_o these_o vision_n i_o say_v not_o that_o i_o will_v declare_v in_o what_o sort_n this_o so_o strong_a a_o light_n may_v be_v able_a to_o convey_v itself_o into_o the_o inward_a sense_n and_o to_o imprint_v so_o exact_a and_o clear_v a_o image_n upon_o the_o understanding_n as_o to_o make_v it_o direct_o seem_v to_o be_v very_o there_o for_o this_o point_n belong_v to_o such_o as_o be_v learned_a and_o our_o lord_n have_v not_o be_v please_v to_o give_v i_o to_o comprehend_v the_o manner_n of_o it_o and_o in_o myself_o i_o be_o so_o very_o ignorant_a and_o of_o so_o gross_a a_o understanding_n that_o howsoever_o man_n have_v endeavour_v much_o to_o declare_v it_o to_o i_o i_o have_v not_o yet_o be_v able_a to_o conceive_v the_o way_n and_o manner_n of_o it_o and_o this_o be_v very_o certain_a that_o howsoever_o it_o may_v seem_v to_o your_o reverence_n that_o my_o understanding_n be_v livelie_a and_o quick_a yet_o there_o be_v real_o no_o such_o thing_n and_o i_o have_v find_v what_o i_o be_o about_o to_o say_v to_o be_v true_a by_o the_o experience_n of_o many_o particular_n that_o namely_o it_o embrace_n and_o comprehend_v no_o more_o then_o just_a that_o very_a thing_n upon_o which_o they_o will_v have_v it_o feed_v yea_o and_o sometime_o he_o who_o be_v my_o confessarius_fw-la will_v be_v even_o amaze_v at_o my_o ignorances_n in_o many_o kind_n and_o he_o never_o make_v i_o understand_v nor_o do_v i_o indeed_o desire_v to_o know_v how_o almighty_a god_n do_v this_o or_o how_o this_o can_v be_v nor_o do_v i_o ask_v he_o about_o it_o though_o yet_o as_o i_o have_v say_v i_o treat_v many_o year_n with_o man_n of_o great_a learning_n to_o know_v whether_o this_o or_o that_o be_v a_o sin_n or_o no_o for_o in_o this_o i_o be_v not_o want_v but_o as_o for_o the_o rest_n i_o then_o have_v no_o need_n to_o stand_v think_v of_o more_o than_o that_o almighty_a god_n be_v the_o author_n of_o all_o and_o i_o see_v that_o i_o be_v now_o not_o to_o wonder_v at_o aniething_n but_o only_o to_o consider_v how_o many_o reason_n i_o have_v to_o praise_v he_o nay_o the_o thing_n which_o carry_v difficulty_n with_o they_o do_v breed_v devotion_n in_o i_o and_o the_o more_o difficulty_n the_o more_o devotion_n but_o i_o will_v therefore_o now_o declare_v that_o which_o i_o be_o come_v to_o understand_v by_o experience_n namely_o how_o our_o bless_a lord_n do_v
this_o and_o your_o reverence_n will_v express_v it_o better_o and_o will_v unfold_v all_o that_o which_o you_o may_v find_v obscure_a and_o i_o not_o know_v how_o to_o deliver_v it_o seem_v to_o i_o indeed_o in_o some_o respect_n that_o it_o be_v a_o image_n or_o distinct_a representation_n which_o i_o see_v but_o in_o many_o other_o no_o but_o rather_o that_o it_o be_v christ_n our_o lord_n himself_o consider_v the_o excessive_a kind_n of_o claritie_n wherewith_o he_o vouchsafe_v to_o impart_v himself_o to_o i_o and_o yet_o sometime_o it_o be_v after_o so_o undistinct_a a_o manner_n that_o i_o think_v it_o be_v a_o representation_n or_o image_n but_o yet_o still_o not_o like_o those_o design_n and_o draught_n or_o picture_n of_o thing_n which_o be_v make_v here_o how_o perfect_a soever_o they_o may_v be_v for_o i_o have_v see_v both_o very_a many_o and_o very_o good_a one_o of_o this_o kind_n but_o it_o be_v a_o very_a great_a impertinency_n to_o conceive_v that_o any_o one_o of_o they_o come_v home_n to_o the_o life_n but_o how_o well_o soever_o they_o be_v draw_v they_o will_v never_o yet_o arrive_v to_o reach_v the_o natural_a in_o all_o respect_n for_o in_o fine_a the_o one_o be_v alive_a and_o the_o other_o be_v dead_a but_o let_v we_o lay_v this_o aside_o though_o yet_o the_o relation_n of_o one_o to_o the_o other_o hold_v very_o well_o and_o still_o i_o say_v not_o that_o i_o frame_v a_o comparison_n between_o christ_n our_o lord_n himself_o and_o that_o which_o i_o say_v i_o see_v for_o comparison_n never_o agree_v so_o perfect_o and_o entire_o as_o these_o two_o thing_n do_v but_o the_o truth_n be_v that_o there_o be_v the_o same_o difference_n in_o what_o i_o see_v from_o any_o image_n which_o there_o be_v between_o a_o thing_n that_o live_v and_o a_o thing_n which_o be_v paint_v and_o if_o you_o will_v needs_o have_v this_o to_o have_v be_v a_o image_n i_o be_o sure_a it_o be_v a_o live_a image_n and_o not_o a_o dead_a man_n but_o christ_n alive_a and_o it_o give_v i_o also_o to_o understand_v that_o he_o be_v both_o god_n &_o man_n and_o that_o not_o so_o as_o he_o be_v lay_v in_o the_o sepulchre_n but_o as_o he_o be_v afterward_o in_o the_o resurrection_n and_o sometime_o he_o come_v with_o such_o a_o immense_a kind_n of_o majesty_n that_o no_o creature_n can_v be_v able_a to_o doubt_v but_o that_o it_o be_v our_o very_a lord_n himself_o and_o especial_o after_o my_o receive_v the_o bless_a sacrament_n for_o than_o we_o know_v well_o that_o he_o be_v there_o since_o we_o understand_v it_o by_o faith_n and_o this_o seem_v to_o be_v the_o same_o lord_n with_o that_o an_o he_o show_v himself_o then_o for_o so_o true_a and_o entire_a a_o lord_n of_o that_o little_a house_n that_o the_o whole_a soul_n see_v herself_o to_o be_v even_o dissolve_v consume_v and_o annihilate_v in_o christ_n our_o lord_n dear_a jesus_n and_o how_o shall_v one_o be_v able_a to_o give_v the_o height_n of_o that_o majesty_n to_o be_v understand_v wherewith_o thou_o come_v to_o show_v thyself_o in_o these_o occasion_n and_o how_o absolute_o do_v the_o soul_n resolve_v that_o thou_o be_v the_o lord_n of_o the_o whole_a world_n and_o of_o the_o heaven_n and_o of_o a_o thousand_o world_n and_o of_o innumerable_a heaven_n and_o world_n which_o thou_o cause_v create_v consider_v that_o high_a majesty_n with_o which_o thou_o represente_v thyself_o to_o she_o for_o than_o she_o know_v that_o all_o this_o world_n be_v just_a nothing_o in_o respect_n of_o that_o whereof_o thou_o deserve_v to_o have_v dominion_n heer_n o_o my_o jesus_n do_v the_o soul_n see_v very_o clear_o that_o it_o be_v but_o a_o beggar_o kind_a of_o power_n which_o the_o devil_n have_v in_o comparison_n of_o thou_o and_o how_o he_o who_o be_v so_o happy_a as_o to_o please_v thou_o may_v tread_v all_o the_o power_n of_o hell_n under_o his_o foot_n here_o the_o soul_n find_v the_o reason_n which_o the_o devil_n have_v to_o tremble_v when_o thou_o do_v descend_v to_o limbus_n patrum_fw-la and_o how_o they_o will_v have_v wish_v to_o have_v be_v rather_o in_o thousand_o of_o other_o and_o low_a hell_n then_o to_o have_v endure_v the_o sight_n of_o so_o high_a a_o majesty_n as_o thou_o but_o i_o perceive_v that_o thou_o be_v here_o dispose_v to_o let_v our_o soul_n see_v how_o potent_a thou_o be_v and_o how_o great_a the_o power_n of_o thy_o most_o sacred_a humanity_n be_v when_o it_o be_v accompany_v by_o thy_o divinity_n vision_n here_o be_v it_o well_o represent_v what_o kind_n of_o thing_n the_o day_n of_o judgement_n will_v be_v where_o we_o shall_v see_v the_o mighty_a majesty_n of_o this_o king_n and_o behold_v his_o great_a rigour_n towards_o the_o wicked_a heer_n be_v true_a humility_n lay_v up_o and_o leave_v in_o the_o soul_n by_o see_v she_o own_o misery_n whereof_o now_o she_o can_v be_v ignorant_a no_o long_o heer_n that_o confusion_n and_o true_a repentance_n for_o sin_n where_o even_o when_o she_o be_v see_v how_o great_o our_o lord_n show_v she_o his_o love_n yet_o know_v she_o not_o where_o to_o dispose_v of_o herself_o but_o be_v as_o it_o be_v even_o annihilate_v outright_o i_o say_v this_o kind_n of_o vision_n be_v of_o so_o excessive_a power_n and_o strength_n when_o our_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o show_v a_o soul_n so_o eminent_a a_o portion_n of_o his_o majesty_n and_o greatness_n by_o it_o that_o i_o hold_v it_o for_o a_o impossible_a thing_n unless_o our_o lord_n shall_v be_v please_v to_o assist_v she_o by_o make_v she_o remain_v in_o rapt_v and_o extasis_fw-la and_o so_o to_o loose_v the_o vision_n of_o that_o divine_a presence_n by_o the_o act_n of_o enjoy_v that_o any_o mortal_a creature_n shall_v be_v able_a to_o endure_v it_o at_o the_o present_a though_o yet_o afterward_o it_o be_v no_o impossible_a thing_n to_o forget_v it_o and_o yet_o still_o this_o can_v not_o be_v whole_o forget_v in_o regard_n that_o that_o majesty_n and_o beauty_n be_v so_o very_o deep_o imprint_v there_o but_o only_o when_o our_o lord_n be_v please_v that_o the_o soul_n shall_v suffer_v some_o such_o great_a kind_n of_o dryness_n and_o solitude_n as_o i_o will_v declare_v afterward_o for_o than_o it_o seem_v that_o even_o one_o forget_v almighty_a god_n himself_o but_o howsoever_o the_o soul_n be_v grow_v now_o to_o be_v clear_o another_o kind_n of_o thing_n than_o what_o she_o be_v before_o and_o be_v always_o as_o it_o be_v even_o steep_v and_o bathe_v in_o almighty_a god_n and_o there_o seem_v in_o my_o opinion_n to_o be_v a_o new_a and_o more_o livelie_a kind_n of_o love_n communicate_v to_o she_o in_o a_o very_a high_a degree_n for_o though_o that_o kind_n of_o vision_n aforesaid_a which_o i_o declare_v to_o represent_v almighty_a god_n without_o any_o image_n be_v a_o thing_n more_o sublime_a and_o high_a in_o itself_o yet_o for_o the_o make_v it_o continue_v long_o in_o our_o memory_n and_o to_o entertain_v and_o keep_v our_o thought_n well_o employ_v so_o great_a be_v the_o weakness_n of_o our_o condition_n that_o it_o make_v very_o much_o to_o our_o purpose_n when_o so_o divine_a a_o presence_n as_o that_o of_o our_o bless_a lord_n be_v represent_v and_o lodge_v in_o the_o imaginative_a part_n of_o our_o mind_n and_o therefore_o these_o two_o kind_n of_o vision_n be_v wont_a to_o come_v always_o together_o and_o indeed_o it_o be_v thus_o that_o they_o come_v for_o the_o excellency_n and_o beauty_n and_o glory_n of_o the_o most_o holy_a humanity_n of_o christ_n our_o lord_n be_v behold_v with_o the_o eye_n of_o the_o soul_n and_o by_o that_o other_o way_n which_o be_v now_o declare_v we_o grow_v to_o be_v give_v to_o understand_v that_o he_o be_v god_n and_o powerful_a yea_o and_o omnipotent_a and_o that_o he_o command_v and_o govern_v all_o thing_n and_o that_o his_o love_n do_v even_o replenish_v they_o all_o this_o kind_n of_o vision_n be_v to_o be_v value_v at_o a_o very_a high_a rate_n and_o it_o be_v also_o in_o my_o opinion_n without_o danger_n for_o in_o fine_a it_o be_v discern_v by_o the_o effect_n that_o the_o devil_n have_v no_o power_n at_o all_o herein_o and_o yet_o it_o be_v true_a that_o three_o or_o four_o several_a time_n he_o have_v have_v a_o mind_n to_o represent_v our_o lord_n himself_o to_o i_o after_o this_o manner_n that_o be_v to_o say_v by_o way_n of_o such_o a_o false_a kind_n of_o representation_n for_o he_o take_v the_o form_n of_o flesh_n but_o it_o come_v not_o within_o the_o compass_n of_o his_o power_n to_o counterfeit_v it_o with_o any_o such_o kind_n of_o glory_n as_o when_o it_o be_v indeed_o of_o almighty_a god_n the_o devil_n be_v wont_a to_o make_v certain_a representation_n for_o the_o destroy_n of_o some_o true_a
shall_v be_v like_o it_o well_o may_v one_o represent_v it_o to_o his_o own_o imagination_n and_o stand_v look_v upon_o it_o for_o some_o time_n and_o consider_v his_o shape_n and_o complexion_n and_o so_o go_v perfect_v it_o by_o little_a and_o little_a and_o recommend_v that_o image_n over_o to_o his_o memory_n for_o who_o can_v take_v this_o power_n from_o the_o mind_n and_o thus_o much_o be_o i_o able_a to_o do_v by_o the_o strength_n of_o my_o own_o understanding_n but_o in_o that_o other_o whereof_o we_o be_v speak_v there_o be_v no_o mean_n for_o this_o for_o we_o must_v behold_v that_o just_a then_o when_o our_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o represent_v it_o to_o we_o and_o just_a also_o what_o he_o will_v &_o how_o he_o will_v nor_o be_v there_o in_o this_o case_n any_o mean_n either_o to_o add_v or_o diminish_v any_o thing_n how_o much_o soever_o we_o may_v endeavour_v it_o either_o towards_o the_o see_v it_o or_o forbear_v to_o see_v it_o when_o we_o will_n for_o know_v whensoever_o we_o shall_v dispose_v ourselves_o to_o fix_v our_o sight_n fast_o upon_o behold_v any_o particular_a thing_n the_o sight_n of_o christ_n our_o lord_n be_v instant_o lose_v it_o happen_v to_o i_o two_o year_n and_o a_o half_a that_o very_o ordinary_o christ_n our_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o vouchsafe_v i_o this_o favour_n and_o it_o be_v now_o more_o than_o three_o since_o he_o have_v deprive_v i_o of_o the_o so_o continual_a use_n of_o this_o vision_n by_o afford_v i_o another_o of_o a_o high_a kind_n as_o perhaps_o i_o shall_v declare_v afterward_o and_o i_o find_v that_o he_o will_v be_v speak_v to_o i_o and_o i_o the_o while_n behold_v that_o extreme_a beauty_n of_o he_o and_o observe_v the_o suavitie_n with_o which_o he_o utter_v those_o word_n by_o that_o most_o lovely_a and_o divine_a mouth_n and_o sometime_o also_o with_o rigour_n whilst_o i_o in_o the_o mean_a time_n have_v a_o kind_n of_o extreme_a desire_n to_o see_v the_o colour_n of_o those_o eye_n and_o the_o size_n and_o shape_n which_o they_o have_v to_o the_o end_n that_o i_o may_v be_v able_a to_o relate_v the_o same_o to_o my_o ghostly_a father_n i_o can_v never_o yet_o obtain_v to_o see_v they_o and_o my_o diligence_n will_v not_o serve_v to_o procure_v it_o but_o the_o vision_n be_v rather_o absolute_o lose_v and_o though_o suaviter_fw-la it_o be_v very_o true_a that_o sometime_o i_o see_v he_o look_v upon_o i_o with_o a_o kind_n of_o sweetness_n and_o compassion_n yet_o this_o spectacle_n be_v of_o so_o mighty_a a_o force_n that_o the_o soul_n be_v not_o able_a to_o endure_v it_o but_o remain_v in_o so_o high_a a_o rapt_v that_o to_o the_o end_n she_o may_v the_o better_o enjoy_v the_o whole_a she_o whole_o lose_v the_o sight_n of_o this_o most_o beautiful_a object_n so_o that_o in_o fine_a and_o in_o order_n to_o this_o end_n it_o serve_v to_o little_a purpose_n either_o to_o will_v or_o not_o to_o will_v any_o thing_n here_o and_o it_o grow_v to_o be_v clear_a enough_o that_o our_o lord_n look_v for_o nothing_o in_o these_o case_n but_o for_o humility_n and_o confusion_n of_o ourselves_o and_o for_o a_o mind_n to_o take_v that_o which_o be_v give_v and_o to_o praise_v he_o who_o be_v please_v to_o impart_v it_o and_o it_o hold_v in_o all_o true_a vision_n without_o exception_n that_o a_o creature_n can_v do_v nothing_o at_o all_o either_o towards_o the_o more_o or_o the_o less_o and_o that_o all_o our_o diligence_n put_v together_o be_v neither_o able_a to_o do_v any_o thing_n nor_o undo_v for_o our_o lord_n will_v have_v we_o see_v very_o clear_o that_o this_o be_v no_o work_n of_o we_o but_o only_o of_o his_o divine_a majesty_n and_o so_o as_o that_o we_o be_v little_o move_v to_o be_v the_o proud_a by_o they_o but_o they_o rather_o make_v we_o more_o timorous_a and_o more_o humble_a whilst_o we_o find_v that_o as_o our_o lord_n deprive_v we_o of_o a_o power_n to_o see_v that_o which_o we_o desire_v so_o he_o can_v also_o take_v these_o favour_n yea_o and_o his_o grace_n from_o we_o too_o in_o such_o sort_n as_o that_o we_o may_v be_v utter_o lose_v we_o must_v therefore_o be_v always_o walk_v on_o with_o fear_n as_o long_o as_o we_o shall_v live_v here_o in_o this_o bannishment_n our_o lord_n have_v almost_o ever_o represent_v himself_o to_o i_o as_o after_o his_o lord_n resurrection_n he_o have_v also_o do_v it_o sometime_o in_o the_o sacred_a host_n sometime_o for_o strengthen_v i_o when_o i_o chance_v to_o be_v in_o tribulation_n he_o show_v i_o his_o wound_n and_o sometime_o also_o he_o vouchsafe_v that_o i_o shall_v see_v he_o just_a so_o as_o he_o be_v upon_o the_o cross_n and_o sometime_o as_o in_o the_o garden_n yea_o and_o also_o some_o seldom_o time_n with_o his_o crown_n of_o thorn_n upon_o his_o head_n and_o at_o other_o time_n carry_v his_o cross_n yet_o this_o as_o i_o be_v say_v use_v to_o occur_v but_o in_o the_o time_n of_o some_o necessity_n either_o of_o my_o own_o or_o of_o other_o but_o yet_o always_o as_o a_o glorified_a body_n and_o i_o have_v suffer_v affront_n and_o vexation_n enough_o in_o declare_v these_o thing_n and_o have_v grow_v subject_a thereby_o to_o great_a persecution_n and_o fear_n they_o make_v themselves_o so_o very_o sure_a that_o all_o this_o be_v the_o devil_n that_o there_o want_v not_o certain_a person_n who_o wish_v that_o i_o may_v be_v exorcife_v for_o that_o purpose_n yet_o this_o give_v i_o very_o little_a trouble_n but_o the_o thing_n which_o i_o feel_v in_o good_a earnest_n be_v either_o when_o my_o ghostly_a father_n be_v afraid_a to_o hear_v my_o confession_n or_o else_o when_o i_o come_v to_o know_v that_o they_o be_v tell_v tale_n but_o yet_o still_o upon_o the_o whole_a matter_n i_o know_v not_o how_o to_o make_v myself_o sorry_a for_o have_v see_v these_o celestial_a vision_n nor_o will_v i_o give_v any_o one_o of_o they_o all_o for_o all_o the_o greatness_n and_o delight_n of_o this_o whole_a world_n for_o i_o ever_o hold_v these_o thing_n to_o be_v a_o very_a great_a favour_n of_o our_o lord_n and_o i_o esteem_v they_o to_o be_v a_o excessive_a kind_n of_o treasure_n yea_o and_o our_o lord_n himself_o have_v assure_v i_o thereof_o many_o time_n withal_o i_o find_v myself_o grow_v hereby_o to_o love_v his_o divine_a majesty_n very_o much_o and_o so_o to_o he_o will_v i_o ever_o be_v go_v to_o complain_v of_o all_o the_o trouble_v i_o have_v and_o i_o always_o come_v out_o of_o prayer_n both_o with_o comfort_n and_o addition_n of_o strength_n as_o for_o they_o i_o will_v not_o presume_v to_o contradict_v they_o for_o i_o see_v it_o make_v thing_n worse_a as_o seem_v to_o they_o that_o it_o be_v want_v of_o humility_n in_o i_o but_o i_o communicate_v they_o still_o to_o my_o ghostly_a father_n and_o whensoever_o he_o find_v i_o afflict_v he_o be_v careful_a that_o i_o shall_v receive_v much_o comfort_n from_o he_o as_o my_o vision_n grew-on_a to_o increase_v one_o of_o they_o who_o assist_v i_o before_o who_o be_v a_o man_n that_o use_v to_o confess_v i_o sometime_o when_o the_o sub-rectour_a be_v not_o in_o the_o way_n to_o hear_v i_o begin_v to_o tell_v i_o how_o it_o be_v most_o certain_a that_o it_o be_v the_o devil_n and_o then_o they_o grow_v to_o saint_n command_v i_o since_o there_o be_v no_o other_o mean_n to_o resist_v he_o that_o i_o shall_v always_o be_v cross_v and_o blessing_n myself_o when_o i_o shall_v chance_v to_o see_v any_o vision_n and_o that_o i_o shall_v use_v some_o exterior_a action_n or_o sign_n of_o scorn_n that_o so_o he_o may_v be_v sure_a i_o hold_v he_o certain_o to_o be_v the_o devil_n and_o that_o perhaps_o by_o this_o mean_n he_o will_v come_v no_o more_o but_o that_o yet_o i_o shall_v be_v afraid_a of_o nothing_o because_o god_n will_v keep_v i_o still_o and_o will_v also_o take_v that_o temptation_n from_o i_o now_o this_o be_v painful_a enough_o to_o i_o for_o consider_v that_o i_o can_v not_o possible_o believe_v but_o that_o it_o be_v almighty_a god_n this_o proceed_n be_v very_o terrible_a for_o i_o to_o undergo_v nor_o be_v it_o also_o possible_a for_o i_o as_o of_o myself_o to_o desire_v that_o it_o may_v be_v take_v from_o i_o but_o yet_o in_o fine_a i_o perform_v all_o those_o act_n which_o they_o command_v and_o i_o beseech_v our_o bless_a lord_n with_o much_o instance_n to_o free_v i_o from_o it_o and_o i_o do_v it_o with_o abundance_n of_o tear_n i_o beg_v it_o also_o by_o the_o prayer_n of_o s._n peter_n and_o s._n paul_n in_o regard_n that_o i_o have_v have_v the_o first_o of_o all_o my_o vision_n upon_o the_o day_n of_o their_o festivitie_n our_o lord_n
of_o the_o mind_n and_o not_o suffer_v it_o to_o pass_v on_o and_o out_o so_o far_o like_o some_o pot_n comparison_n which_o do_v first_o so_o boil_v up_o and_o then_o so_o boile-ove_a as_o that_o the_o broth_n or_o water_n be_v quite_o spend_v and_o lose_v because_o no_o discretion_n be_v use_v in_o the_o quantity_n of_o wood_n or_o coal_n which_o be_v put_v under_o it_o and_o thus_o let_v they_o procure_v to_o appease_v and_o slake_v the_o flame_n which_o be_v feed_v by_o that_o vehement_a fire_n with_o sweet_a and_o gentle_a tear_n but_o not_o with_o such_o as_o be_v force_v or_o painful_a as_o they_o be_v wont_n to_o be_v which_o proceed_v from_o such_o a_o vehement_a kind_n of_o sense_n as_o i_o have_v former_o express_v for_o such_o be_v wont_a to_o be_v of_o very_o great_a inconvenience_n to_o the_o party_n myself_o use_v to_o have_v such_o as_o these_o in_o my_o beginning_n and_o they_o will_v ever_o leaué_fw-fr my_o head_n in_o such_o disorder_n and_o my_o spirit_n in_o such_o a_o weariness_n and_o weakness_n that_o i_o be_v not_o able_a sometime_o for_o a_o day_n yea_o and_o sometime_o for_o more_o day_n than_o one_o to_o return_v to_o the_o exercise_n of_o prayer_n so_o that_o advice_n we_o be_v to_o use_v great_a discretion_n in_o those_o beginning_n of_o we_o to_o the_o end_n that_o all_o may_v go_v on_o with_o much_o sweetness_n and_o that_o the_o spirit_n may_v be_v teach_v the_o way_n of_o operate_a and_o exercise_v itself_o inward_o and_o we_o must_v diligent_o procure_v that_o the_o exterior_a may_v be_v avoid_v as_o much_o as_o we_o can_v but_o now_o these_o other_o impetuosity_n and_o impulse_n be_v of_o a_o most_o different_a kind_n and_o condition_n for_o here_o it_o be_v not_o we_o who_o bring-in_a the_o wood_n but_z the_o fire_n seem_v to_o be_v make_v already_o to_o our_o hand_n and_o instant_o we_o be_v ready_a to_o cast_v ourselves_o into_o it_o that_o so_o we_o may_v be_v whole_o consume_v the_o soul_n do_v not_o here_o procure_v to_o make_v herself_o feel_v the_o wound_n which_o grow_v to_o be_v make_v in_o she_o by_o the_o absence_n of_o our_o lord_n but_o they_o drive_v sometime_o a_o sharp_a arrow_n into_o the_o very_a lively_a part_n of_o the_o hart_n in_o such_o sort_n as_o that_o the_o soul_n herself_o be_v not_o able_a to_o tell_v distinct_o either_o what_o she_o ail_v or_o even_o what_o she_o desire_v only_o she_o know_v very_o well_o that_o she_o desire_v and_o love_v our_o lord_n and_o that_o the_o say_a arrow_n seem_v to_o be_v touch_v and_o rubbed-ove_a with_o some_o bitter_a herb_n or_o other_o to_o make_v she_o even_o hate_v herself_o through_o the_o love_n of_o this_o lord_n and_o to_o wish_v with_o all_o her_o hart_n that_o she_o may_v loose_v her_o very_a life_n for_o his_o sake_n it_o be_v give_v not_o in_o our_o power_n to_o express_v and_o much_o less_o to_o relate_v with_o advantage_n the_o manner_n how_o god_n approach_v and_o arrive_v to_o such_o a_o soul_n as_o this_o or_o the_o excessive_a pain_n that_o he_o give_v which_o make_v she_o not_o to_o know_v even_o what_o to_o do_v with_o herself_o but_o yet_o this_o very_a pain_n be_v such_o a_o savoury_a kind_n of_o thing_n withal_o that_o there_o be_v no_o delight_n in_o this_o whole_a world_n which_o be_v able_a to_o give_v she_o more_o gust_n for_o the_o soul_n as_o i_o be_v say_v will_v always_o be_v very_o glad_a if_o she_o may_v be_v ever_o die_v of_o this_o disease_n this_o pain_n and_o glory_n together_o do_v carry_v my_o understanding_n into_o such_o such_o distraction_n and_o disorder_n that_o i_o know_v not_o how_o they_o both_o can_v possible_o consist_v together_o o_o what_o a_o thing_n it_o be_v to_o see_v a_o soul_n so_o wound_v for_o it_o be_v just_a in_o such_o sort_n as_o that_o one_o may_v very_o well_o affirm_v it_o to_o be_v wound_v and_o that_o for_o a_o most_o excellent_a cause_n for_o now_o she_o see_v very_o clear_o that_o she_o herself_o do_v contribute_v no_o part_n of_o the_o reason_n why_o this_o love_n shall_v grow_v but_o only_o it_o seem_v that_o some_o little_a spark_n fall_v down_o upon_o she_o from_o that_o immense_a love_n of_o our_o lord_n which_o set_v she_o so_o total_o on_o fire_n o_o how_o often_o do_v i_o remember_v that_o verse_n of_o david_n whensoever_o i_o find_v myself_o in_o this_o case_n quem_fw-la admodum_fw-la desider_v at_o ceruus_fw-la ad_fw-la fontes_fw-la aquarum_fw-la ita_fw-la desiderat_fw-la anima_fw-la mea_fw-la ad_fw-la te_fw-la deus_fw-la meus_fw-la as_o the_o hart_n desire_v to_o plunge_v himself_o into_o the_o spring_n of_o water_n so_o do_v my_o soul_n desire_v thou_o o_o my_o god_n for_o real_o i_o think_v that_o this_o be_v even_o literal_o fulfil_v then_o upon_o myself_o whensoever_o this_o come_v not_o upon_o i_o with_o great_a violence_n i_o think_v i_o can_v a_o little_a appease_v my_o soul_n and_o at_o least_o she_o be_v prove_v to_o find_v some_o remedy_n for_o as_o for_o the_o perform_n of_o certain_a pennance_n she_o find_v not_o almost_o in_o that_o case_n for_o what_o they_o serve_v for_o they_o all_o be_v feel_v by_o she_o no_o more_o nor_o put_v it_o she_o to_o any_o more_o pain_n to_o shed_v her_o blood_n than_o it_o will_v if_o she_o be_v direct_o dead_a but_o in_o that_o case_n she_o be_v in_o earnest_a search_n after_o the_o finding-out_a some_o new_a way_n or_o mean_n how_o she_o may_v be_v able_a to_o suffer_v much_o for_o the_o love_n of_o our_o lord_n but_o so_o great_a be_v that_o other_o former_a love_n grief_n of_o mind_n that_o i_o know_v not_o what_o corporal_a torment_n can_v possible_o be_v able_a to_o drown_v it_o for_o the_o remedy_n thereof_o consist_v not_o in_o such_o thing_n as_o these_o since_o these_o medecine_n be_v of_o too_o inferior_a a_o kind_n for_o the_o perfect_a cure_n of_o so_o deeply-rooted_n a_o disease_n we_o receive_v indeed_o some_o little_a ease_n and_o the_o affliction_n pass_v away_o to_o some_o small_a proportion_n by_o this_o mean_n and_o by_o beg_v also_o the_o remedy_n of_o her_o misery_n at_o the_o hand_n of_o our_o bless_a lord_n though_o yet_o for_o her_o part_n she_o know_v not_o how_o to_o find_v any_o at_o all_o but_o only_o in_o death_n for_o by_o that_o mean_n she_o hope_v entire_o to_o enjoy_v her_o sovereign_n good_n at_o other_o time_n this_o pain_n fall_v upon_o a_o soul_n so_o fierce_o that_o neither_o this_o nor_o any_o thing_n else_o can_v be_v do_v for_o it_o peirce_v the_o whole_a body_n through_o and_o through_o and_o neither_o can_v the_o hand_n or_o foot_n be_v stir_v nay_o if_o we_o chance_v to_o be_v on_o foot_n and_o may_v happen_v sometime_o to_o sit_v down_o we_o do_v it_o like_o a_o kind_n of_o transport_v creature_n nor_o can_v the_o soul_n so_o much_o as_o breath_n but_o only_o utter_v certain_a profound_a lament_v sigh_n which_o yet_o be_v not_o great_a in_o show_n because_o she_o be_v not_o able_a to_o express_v they_o though_o yet_o they_o be_v very_o great_a in_o themselves_o it_o please_v our_o bless_a lord_n that_o i_o shall_v have_v sometime_o this_o follow_a vision_n i_o see_v a_o angel_n very_o near_o i_o towards_o my_o left_a side_n and_o he_o appear_v to_o i_o in_o a_o corporeal_a form_n though_o yet_o i_o be_o not_o wont_a to_o see_v any_o thing_n of_o that_o kind_n but_o very_o rare_o for_o though_o angel_n be_v represent_v often_o to_o i_o it_o be_v yet_o without_o my_o see_v they_o but_o only_o according_a to_o that_o other_o kind_n of_o vision_n whereof_o i_o speak_v before_o but_o in_o this_o vision_n our_o lord_n be_v please_v that_o i_o shall_v see_v this_o angel_n after_o this_o other_o manner_n he_o be_v not_o great_a but_o rather_o little_a yet_o withal_o he_o be_v of_o very_o much_o beauty_n his_o face_n be_v so_o inflame_v that_o he_o appear_v to_o be_v of_o those_o most_o superior_a angel_n who_o seem_v to_o be_v all_o in_o a_o fire_n and_o he_o well_o may_v be_v of_o they_o who_o we_o call_v seraphin_n but_o as_o for_o i_o they_o never_o tell_v i_o their_o name_n or_o rank_n yet_o howsoever_o i_o see_v thereby_o that_o there_o be_v so_o great_a a_o difference_n in_o heaven_n between_o one_o angel_n and_o another_o as_o i_o be_o no_o way_n able_a to_o express_v i_o see_v that_o he_o have_v a_o long_a dart_n of_o gold_n in_o his_o hand_n and_o at_o the_o end_n of_o the_o iron_n below_o i_o think_v there_o be_v a_o little_a fire_n and_o i_o conceive_v that_o he_o thrust_v it_o some_o several_a time_n through_o my_o very_a hart_n after_o such_o a_o manner_n as_o that_o it_o pass_v the_o very_a inward_o of_o my_o bowel_n and_o when_o he_o draw_v it_o back_o i_o think_v it_o carry_v
to_o abuse_v and_o cozen_v so_o many_o good_a man_n and_o i_o seem_v to_o be_v so_o very_o wicked_a that_o i_o think_v all_o the_o mischief_n and_o heresy_n which_o have_v be_v raise_v and_o bring_v late_o into_o the_o world_n be_v but_o the_o fruit_n of_o my_o sin_n but_o this_o be_v a_o false_a kind_n of_o humility_n which_o the_o devil_n invent_v of_o purpose_n for_o my_o disquiet_n to_o try_v if_o he_o can_v bring_v my_o soul_n to_o despair_v and_o i_o know_v so_o well_o by_o experience_n that_o this_o be_v a_o trick_n of_o the_o devil_n that_o now_o when_o he_o find_v that_o i_o understand_v he_o he_o torment_v i_o not_o so_o often_o herein_o as_o he_o be_v wont_a the_o certainty_n of_o this_o truth_n be_v clear_o find_v by_o the_o restlessness_n and_o disquiet_v wherewith_o he_o begin_v and_o by_o the_o bussle_v which_o he_o keep_v in_o the_o soul_n all_o the_o while_o it_o last_v and_o by_o the_o obscurity_n and_o affliction_n which_o he_o bring_v to_o it_o and_o by_o the_o dryness_n and_o indisposition_n to_o prayer_n which_o he_o leave_v after_o it_o and_o in_o fine_a because_o it_o produce_v no_o good_a effect_n at_o all_o for_o he_o seem_v even_o to_o stifle_v the_o soul_n and_o to_o bind_v even_o the_o body_n also_o up_o that_o so_o it_o may_v be_v good_a for_o nothing_o whereas_o by_o true_a humility_n though_o the_o soul_n know_v itself_o to_o be_v wicked_a and_o be_v in_o pain_n to_o consider_v what_o we_o be_v and_o make_v we_o hold_v our_o sin_n to_o be_v as_o great_a and_o as_o great_o to_o be_v exaggerated_a as_o have_v be_v say_v and_o that_o they_o be_v feel_v indeed_o to_o be_v such_o yet_o come_v not_o this_o kind_n of_o sense_n with_o any_o tumultuous_a disorder_n nor_o do_v it_o disturb_v and_o vex_v the_o soul_n nor_o obscure_v she_o nor_o give_v dryness_n to_o she_o but_o rather_o it_o regales_fw-la she_o and_o behave_v itself_o in_o a_o very_a contrary_a way_n with_o gentleness_n with_o suavitie_n and_o with_o light_n she_o mind_n be_v trouble_v in_o some_o sort_n on_o the_o one_o side_n even_o for_o that_o she_o be_v comfort_v to_o see_v how_o great_a favour_n our_o lord_n impart_v to_o she_o in_o let_v she_o feel_v that_o pain_n and_o to_o consider_v how_o well_o employ_v it_o be_v and_o the_o sorrow_n for_o whatsoever_o she_o have_v do_v against_o almighty_a god_n but_o yet_o on_o the_o other_o side_n she_o exalt_v and_o admire_v his_o mercy_n she_o have_v light_a wherewith_o to_o put_v herself_o to_o confusion_n and_o to_o praise_v his_o divine_a majesty_n for_o vouchsafe_v to_o endure_v she_o so_o long_o but_o in_o that_o other_o kind_n of_o humility_n which_o the_o devil_n bring_v there_o be_v no_o light_n for_o any_o thing_n which_o be_v good_a but_o it_o seem_v as_o if_o god_n be_v ready_a to_o put_v all_o the_o world_n to_o fire_n and_o sword_n the_o devil_n represent_v the_o divine_a justice_n to_o the_o soul_n and_o though_o he_o permit_v she_o to_o believe_v that_o god_n have_v mercy_n for_o the_o devil_n have_v no_o such_o power_n as_o to_o destroy_v her_o faith_n yet_o have_v she_o even_o that_o in_o such_o sort_n that_o it_o be_v no_o comfort_n to_o she_o at_o all_o but_o rather_o when_o she_o behold_v god_n great_a mercy_n he_o make_v it_o serve_v she_o for_o so_o much_o the_o great_a torment_n because_o she_o seem_v to_o have_v be_v oblige_v thereby_o to_o have_v serve_v almighty_a god_n so_o much_o the_o more_o this_o be_v a_o invention_n of_o the_o devil_n and_o that_o of_o the_o most_o painful_a and_o subtle_a and_o disguise_v that_o i_o have_v ever_o find_v and_o therefore_o i_o will_v wish_v your_o reverence_n if_o perhaps_o he_o may_v procure_v to_o tempt_v you_o hereafter_o in_o this_o kind_n to_o look_v upon_o it_o with_o a_o light_n in_o your_o hand_n and_o to_o procure_v to_o know_v he_o well_o if_o he_o leave_v you_o understanding_n enough_o for_o do_v it_o and_o believe_v not_o here_o that_o knowledge_n and_o learning_n will_v serve_v the_o turn_n for_o though_o i_o be_v in_o want_n enough_o of_o all_o that_o yet_o now_o when_o i_o be_o get_v out_o of_o his_o reach_n i_o be_o grow_v to_o understand_v very_o well_o that_o all_o his_o discourse_n be_v but_o foolery_n and_o that_o which_o i_o understand_v also_o be_v that_o sometime_o our_o bless_a lord_n be_v please_v to_o give_v way_n and_o permit_v it_o and_o he_o allow_v he_o leave_v to_o do_v this_o as_o he_o do_v that_o he_o may_v try_v and_o tempt_v job_n though_o because_o i_o be_o so_o wicked_a he_o permit_v not_o that_o it_o be_v do_v to_o i_o with_o so_o much_o rigour_n it_o happen_v to_o i_o once_o and_o i_o remember_v very_o well_o that_o it_o be_v upon_o the_o day_n before_o corpus-christi_a eve_n a_o festivitie_n to_o which_o i_o be_o devote_a though_o yet_o not_o so_o much_o as_o be_v fit_a and_o at_o that_o time_n it_o last_v with_o i_o but_o one_o day_n but_o at_o other_o time_n for_o a_o week_n and_o a_o fortnight_n yea_o and_o sometime_o three_o week_n and_o peradventure_o more_o and_o especial_o in_o the_o holy_a week_n which_o be_v wont_a to_o be_v my_o regalo_n in_o point_n of_o prayer_n that_o i_o think_v he_o desolation_n catched-up_a and_o even_o carried-away_a my_o understanding_n at_o a_o instant_n for_o certain_a thing_n sometime_o so_o very_o trivial_a and_o light_n that_o at_o other_o time_n i_o will_v but_o have_v laugh_v at_o he_o for_o his_o pain_n and_o then_o he_o make_v her_o stoop_n to_o whatsoever_o he_o list_v and_o the_o soul_n remain_v as_o it_o be_v nail_v to_o the_o place_n without_o be_v mistress_n of_o herself_o or_o be_v able_a to_o think_v of_o any_o thing_n but_o those_o impertinent_a foolery_n which_o the_o rempration_n represent_v and_o indeed_o they_o have_v no_o substance_n at_o all_o nor_o do_v they_o either_o bind_v or_o loose_v but_o serve_v only_o to_o choke_v the_o soul_n in_o such_o sort_n as_o not_o to_o suffer_v she_o to_o subsist_v in_o herself_o and_o real_o it_o be_v true_a that_o it_o have_v happen_v to_o i_o sometime_o to_o conceive_v that_o the_o devil_n go_v play_v with_o a_o soul_n as_o man_n will_v do_v with_o a_o ball_n and_o she_o the_o while_n be_v without_o any_o mean_n at_o all_o to_o deliver_v herself_o out_o of_o their_o power_n nor_o can_v it_o be_v express_v in_o what_o a_o deal_n of_o sufferance_n she_o be_v by_o this_o mean_n she_o walk_v in_o search_n of_o some_o defence_n and_o almighty_a god_n permit_v that_o she_o may_v find_v none_o she_o only_o and_o ever_o remain_v with_o the_o faculty_n and_o power_n of_o her_o freewill_n though_o yet_o not_o fair_a and_o clear_a but_o as_o if_o a_o man_n have_v eye_n which_o be_v shut_v or_o as_o if_o some_o person_n who_o have_v go_v very_o often_o by_o any_o way_n and_o so_o though_o it_o be_v night_n and_o dark_a yet_o by_o the_o mark_n which_o he_o have_v former_o take_v know_v where_o he_o may_v be_v in_o danger_n to_o stumble_v because_o former_o he_o have_v see_v the_o same_o path_n by_o day_n and_o so_o he_o secure_v himself_o from_o that_o danger_n in_o like_a manner_n do_v it_o occur_v to_o the_o soul_n which_o now_o seem_v but_o mere_o by_o custom_n not_o to_o offend_v almighty_a god_n for_o i_o speak_v not_o here_o of_o that_o protection_n which_o our_o lord_n afford_v she_o though_o yet_o that_o be_v the_o thing_n which_o import_v most_o but_o in_o the_o mean_a time_n our_o faith_n be_v deaden_v or_o at_o least_o lay_v asleep_o as_o the_o other_o virtue_n also_o be_v in_o such_o time_n as_o those_o though_o yet_o they_o be_v not_o utter_o lose_v for_o she_o well_o believe_v even_o then_o that_o doctrine_n which_o the_o church_n teach_v and_o she_o pronounce_v it_o also_o with_o her_o mouth_n whereas_o yet_o on_o the_o other_o side_n the_o devil_n do_v so_o press_v and_o dull_a this_o faith_n that_o she_o seem_v to_o have_v but_o such_o a_o kind_n of_o knowledge_n of_o god_n as_o man_n have_v a_o notice_n of_o thing_n which_o be_v speak_v of_o in_o their_o hear_n but_o yet_o from_o very_o far_o off_o her_o love_n also_o be_v so_o very_o lukewarm_a that_o if_o she_o chance_v to_o hear_v almighty_a god_n speak_v of_o she_o hearken_v in_o such_o a_o kind_n as_o to_o believe_v indeed_o that_o he_o be_v that_o which_o he_o be_v because_o the_o church_n declare_v it_o but_o yet_o she_o have_v utter_o lose_v all_o memory_n of_o whatsoever_o she_o have_v experiment_a of_o he_o in_o herself_o for_o she_o to_o go_v and_o pray_v and_o remain_v in_o solitude_n be_v but_o to_o increase_v her_o affliction_n for_o the_o torment_n which_o she_o feel_v in_o herself_o and_o yet_o without_o know_v very_o well_o why_o be_v
in_o it_o as_o i_o be_o not_o well_o able_a to_o express_v for_o it_o be_v a_o interior_a delight_n which_o comfort_v my_o whole_a soul_n and_o this_o be_v no_o mere_a imagination_n or_o fancy_n nor_o a_o thing_n which_o have_v happen_v to_o i_o only_o once_o but_o very_o often_o and_o when_o i_o observe_v it_o with_o most_o attention_n i_o think_v it_o be_v as_o if_o a_o body_n who_o be_v much_o trouble_v with_o heat_n and_o thirst_n shall_v drink_v a_o draught_n of_o very_a cold_a water_n which_o shall_v refresh_v he_o even_o to_o his_o heart_n desire_n and_o heerupon_o i_o also_o consider_v that_o all_o those_o thing_n which_o be_v ordain_v by_o the_o church_n be_v of_o great_a importance_n and_o moment_n and_o it_o be_v matter_n even_o of_o much_o regalo_n to_o i_o that_o those_o word_n which_o the_o consolation_n church_n use_v and_o say_v shall_v have_v the_o power_n to_o make_v holie-water_n become_v of_o so_o very_o different_a a_o condition_n from_o such_o other_o as_o be_v not_o hallow_v by_o the_o church_n but_o in_o the_o mean_a time_n when_o my_o torment_n will_v not_o cease_v i_o tell_v they_o so_o who_o be_v present_a that_o so_o they_o may_v not_o laugh_v at_o i_o and_o call_v for_o holie-water_n they_o bring_v i_o some_o and_o sprinkle_v i_o with_o it_o but_o it_o do_v i_o no_o good_a upon_o that_o i_o sprinkle_v some_o towards_o the_o place_n where_o the_o ill_a spirit_n be_v and_o then_o he_o go_v instant_o away_o and_o i_o grow_v as_o instant_o well_o as_o if_o they_o have_v stroak_v my_o hurt_n off_o from_o i_o with_o their_o hand_n save_v that_o i_o find_v myself_o as_o weary_a as_o if_o i_o have_v be_v cudgel_v extreme_o but_o now_o it_o do_v i_o a_o very_a great_a deal_n of_o good_a to_o find_v that_o when_o our_o lord_n give_v the_o devil_n leave_v he_o be_v able_a to_o do_v such_o a_o deal_n of_o mischief_n to_o a_o creature_n both_o in_o body_n and_o soul_n even_o when_o they_o be_v not_o he_o or_o absolute_o in_o his_o power_n for_o then_o what_o will_v he_o be_v able_a to_o do_v when_o they_o shall_v be_v whole_o leave_v to_o his_o dispose_n this_o give_v i_o also_o a_o very_a great_a desire_n to_o free_v myself_o from_o so_o ill_a company_n as_o that_o of_o the_o devil_n be_v at_o another_o time_n and_o that_o be_v late_o the_o selfsame_a thing_n happen_v to_o i_o though_o yet_o it_o last_v not_o long_o but_o i_o be_v then_o alone_o and_o then_o i_o also_o call_v for_o holie-water_n and_o two_o religious_a woman_n who_o be_v very_o well_o worth_a the_o believe_v and_o will_v by_o no_o mean_n be_v induce_v to_o tell_v a_o untruth_n came-in_a thither_o after_o the_o devil_n be_v depart_v from_o thence_o and_o declare_v that_o they_o feel_v a_o filthy_a stink_n as_o of_o brimstone_n for_o my_o part_n i_o smell_v it_o not_o but_o they_o say_v it_o continue_v so_o long_o that_o other_o might_n also_o perceive_v it_o another_o time_n i_o be_v in_o the_o choir_n and_o i_o come_v into_o a_o very_a great_a depth_n of_o recollection_n and_o i_o go_v away_o from_o thence_o for_o fear_n lest_o somewhat_o may_v be_v observe_v but_o the_o religious_a in_o the_o choir_n who_o be_v near_o the_o place_n where_o i_o be_v hear_v a_o noise_n of_o very_a great_a blow_n which_o be_v give_v and_o for_o my_o part_n i_o also_o hear_v those_o spirit_n talk_v together_o close_o to_o i_o as_o if_o they_o have_v be_v agree_v about_o some_o business_n of_o they_o though_o i_o know_v not_o what_o in_o particular_a it_o be_v for_o i_o find_v myself_o in_o such_o depth_n of_o prayer_n that_o i_o understand_v they_o not_o in_o express_a manner_n neither_o yet_o have_v i_o any_o fear_n of_o they_o at_o all_o but_o these_o thing_n do_v ordinary_o not_o arrive_v but_o when_o some_o soul_n or_o other_o do_v receive_v benefit_n upon_o my_o persuasion_n and_o advise_v and_o it_o be_v certain_a that_o a_o thing_n happen_v to_o i_o once_o which_o i_o shall_v now_o relate_v and_o there_o be_v many_o witness_n of_o it_o &_o in_o particular_a my_o ghostly_a father_n to_o who_o i_o confess_v myself_o now_o for_o he_o see_v it_o in_o a_o certain_a letter_n without_o my_o tell_v he_o who_o it_o be_v that_o write_v it_o though_o yet_o he_o chance_v to_o know_v it_o otherwise_o but_o the_o thing_n be_v this_o there_o come_v once_o a_o certain_a person_n to_o i_o who_o have_v be_v in_o mortal_a sin_n about_o some_o two_o year_n and_o a_o balf_a and_o he_o have_v commit_v one_o which_o be_v of_o the_o most_o abominable_a that_o ever_o i_o have_v hear_v of_o in_o my_o whole_a life_n and_o during_o all_o that_o time_n he_o neither_o confess_v nor_o reform_v himself_o and_o yet_o he_o say_v mass_n all_o the_o while_n and_o though_o he_o then_o confess_v his_o other_o sin_n yet_o concern_v that_o one_o he_o be_v wont_a to_o ask_v himself_o how_o it_o can_v be_v possible_a that_o ever_o he_o shall_v confess_v so_o foul_a a_o thing_n and_o yet_o he_o have_v a_o desire_n to_o free_v himself_o from_o it_o but_o know_v not_o in_o fine_a how_o to_o effect_v it_o for_o my_o part_n i_o have_v great_a compassion_n of_o the_o man_n and_o much_o grief_n to_o see_v almighty_a god_n so_o offend_v and_o i_o promise_v he_o to_o beseech_v our_o lord_n to_o give_v he_o remedy_n and_o that_o i_o will_v also_o entreat_v diverse_a other_o who_o be_v much_o more_o likely_a to_o prevail_v than_o myself_o to_o become_v suitor_n to_o his_o divine_a majesty_n for_o he_o and_o according_o i_o write_v to_o a_o certain_a person_n about_o it_o this_o man_n let_v i_o know_v that_o he_o can_v convey_v my_o letter_n and_o it_o be_v certain_a that_o heerupon_o he_o instant_o confess_v his_o sin_n and_o almighty_a god_n be_v please_v at_o the_o instance_n of_o those_o many_o other_o holy_a person_n to_o who_o the_o business_n have_v be_v recommend_v to_o extend_v his_o mercy_n to_o this_o soul_n and_o myself_o also_o as_o miserable_a as_o i_o be_o do_v not_o fail_v to_o solicit_v it_o the_o best_a i_o can_v but_o the_o man_n write_v a_o letter_n to_o i_o declare_v that_o he_o be_v reform_v so_o far_o already_o as_o that_o some_o good_a time_n have_v incur_v wherein_o he_o have_v return_v no_o more_o to_o that_o sin_n but_o yet_o that_o the_o torment_n be_v so_o great_a by_o the_o temptation_n which_o solicit_v he_o that_o way_n that_o he_o account_v himself_o to_o be_v almost_o as_o it_o be_v in_o a_o kind_n of_o hell_n so_o extreme_o be_v he_o put_v to_o suffer_v by_o it_o and_o therefore_o that_o i_o must_v help_v he_o still_o with_o almighty_a god_n upon_o this_o i_o recommend_v he_o again_o to_o my_o sister_n the_o religious_a of_o our_o monastery_n by_o mean_n of_o who_o prayer_n it_o seem_v our_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o do_v i_o this_o favour_n for_o they_o take_v the_o matter_n very_o much_o to_o hart_n this_o man_n be_v a_o person_n of_o who_o no_o one_o can_v guess_v who_o it_o be_v and_o i_o humble_o beseech_v the_o divine_a majesty_n to_o appease_v those_o torment_n and_o temptation_n to_o which_o he_o be_v subject_a and_o that_o those_o devil_n may_v be_v suffer_v to_o torment_v i_o in_o his_o place_n provide_v always_o that_o i_o may_v not_o offend_v our_o bless_a lord_n in_o any_o thing_n by_o it_o and_o it_o be_v very_o certain_o true_a that_o short_o after_o this_o i_o endure_v most_o grievous_a torment_n for_o the_o space_n of_o a_o month_n and_o these_o two_o particular_n which_o i_o have_v now_o relate_v do_v happen_v then_o but_o our_o lord_n in_o the_o mean_a time_n be_v please_v that_o they_o shall_v leave_v to_o afflict_v that_o person_n any_o more_o for_o so_o man_n send_v i_o word_n because_o i_o have_v already_o signify_v to_o they_o what_o have_v occur_v to_o i_o during_o that_o month_n and_o as_o for_o he_o his_o soul_n get_v strength_n daily_o and_o he_o grow_v to_o be_v absolute_o free_a nor_o can_v he_o satisfy_v himself_o with_o give_v thanks_n not_o only_o to_o our_o bless_a lord_n but_o even_o also_o to_o i_o as_o if_o i_o have_v do_v somewhat_o therein_o but_o the_o truth_n be_v that_o the_o opinion_n which_o he_o have_v that_o our_o lord_n do_v sometime_o show_v i_o favour_n be_v of_o benefit_n to_o he_o for_o he_o say_v that_o whensoever_o he_o find_v himself_o to_o be_v much_o assault_v and_o press_v he_o use_v to_o read_v my_o letter_n and_o that_o present_o thereupon_o he_o shall_v find_v himself_o ride_v of_o the_o temptation_n he_o grow_v to_o be_v much_o amaze_v to_o understand_v of_o what_o i_o have_v suffer_v and_o how_o also_o himself_o come_v to_o be_v free_a yea_o and_o even_o i_o come_v also_o to_o wonder_v at_o it_o
which_o be_v but_o a_o kind_n of_o shadow_n of_o such_o thing_n as_o be_v suffer_v in_o that_o place_n she_o begin_v also_o to_o declare_v the_o way_n and_o manner_n how_o that_o monastery_n be_v found_v in_o auila_n under_o the_o name_n of_o s._n joseph_n after_o a_o long_a time_n when_o our_o bless_a lord_n have_v already_o do_v i_o many_o of_o those_o favour_n which_o i_o have_v here_o relate_v as_o other_o also_o which_o be_v very_o great_a i_o find_v one_o day_n whilst_o i_o be_v in_o prayer_n though_o i_o can_v not_o tell_v how_o that_o i_o be_v place_v in_o hell_n and_o i_o understand_v that_o our_o lord_n be_v please_v that_o i_o shall_v see_v the_o place_n which_o the_o party_n devil_n have_v prepare_v for_o i_o and_o which_o i_o have_v deserve_v for_o my_o she_o sin_n this_o last_v but_o a_o very_a little_a space_n of_o time_n but_o yet_o if_o i_o shall_v live_v many_o year_n i_o hold_v it_o for_o a_o impossible_a thing_n that_o ever_o i_o shall_v be_v able_a to_o forget_v it_o the_o entry_n thereof_o seem_v body_n to_o i_o to_o be_v after_o the_o manner_n of_o a_o long_a and_o straight_o lane_n or_o rather_o as_o if_o it_o have_v be_v a_o low_a narrow_a long_a and_o dark_a oven_n the_o ground_n seem_v to_o be_v as_o if_o it_o have_v be_v like_o water_n all_o thicken_a with_o dirt_n and_o it_o be_v both_o very_a filthy_a and_o of_o a_o most_o pestilential_a smell_n and_o have_v a_o multitude_n of_o loathsome_a vermin_n as_o fly_n and_o worm_n and_o such_o other_o ugly_a creature_n in_o it_o at_o the_o end_n of_o it_o there_o be_v a_o certain_a hollow_a place_n as_o if_o it_o have_v be_v a_o kind_n of_o a_o little_a press_n in_o a_o wall_n into_o which_o i_o see_v myself_o crowd_v with_o great_a constraint_n now_o all_o that_o be_v even_o delightful_a to_o the_o sight_n in_o comparison_n of_o what_o i_o feel_v there_o and_o this_o which_o i_o have_v say_v of_o it_o already_o i_o also_o find_v to_o be_v very_o imperfect_o describe_v but_o as_o for_o the_o feel_v part_n the_o very_a beginning_n to_o say_v what_o it_o be_v be_v a_o thing_n which_o can_v neither_o be_v well_o no_o nor_o even_o almost_o at_o all_o relate_v as_o it_o be_v indeed_o in_o regard_n that_o i_o feel_v a_o certain_a fire_n in_o my_o very_a soul_n though_o yet_o i_o know_v not_o how_o to_o declare_v it_o as_o indeed_o it_o be_v for_o all_o those_o almost_o insupportable_a torment_n which_o i_o have_v feel_v with_o all_o extremi_fw-la tie_n in_o this_o life_n and_o whereof_o the_o physician_n be_v wont_a to_o affirm_v that_o even_o in_o the_o corporeal_a way_n they_o be_v the_o great_a which_o can_v be_v suffer_v in_o this_o world_n as_o namely_o that_o shrinking-up_a of_o all_o my_o sinew_n when_o i_o instant_o grow_v lame_a by_o it_o beside_o many_o other_o torment_n in_o several_a kind_n as_o also_o that_o i_o have_v be_v vex_v much_o by_o the_o devil_n be_v all_o no_o more_o then_o absolute_o just_a nothing_o in_o comparison_n of_o what_o i_o feel_v in_o that_o place_n beside_o my_o know_v with_o all_o this_o that_o no_o part_n of_o it_o be_v ever_o to_o cease_v but_o to_o continue_v without_o ever_o have_v a_o end_n and_o yet_o even_o all_o this_o which_o i_o have_v say_v be_v also_o nothing_o in_o comparison_n of_o that_o continual_a agonize_a of_o the_o soul_n that_o press_v that_o stifle_v which_o be_v so_o very_o sensible_a a_o affliction_n together_o with_o that_o desperate_a kind_n of_o discontent_n and_o disgust_v and_o repine_v which_o i_o be_o no_o way_n able_a to_o express_v for_o to_o say_v that_o it_o be_v a_o continual_a tear_v of_o the_o soul_n into_o fitter_n be_v to_o say_v little_a since_o in_o that_o case_n it_o seem_v that_o it_o must_v be_v some_o other_o body_n who_o tear_n it_o but_o in_o this_o the_o soul_n itself_o be_v the_o very_a executioner_n which_o even_o tear_v itself_o there_o be_v beside_o all_o that_o another_o strange_a ingredient_n which_o be_v that_o interior_a kind_n of_o fire_n and_o that_o unspeakable_a despair_n upon_o those_o intolerable_a torment_n and_o sorrow_n i_o see_v not_o who_o it_o be_v that_o inflict_v these_o thing_n but_o i_o think_v i_o find_v myself_o to_o be_v slice_v and_o mince_a and_o press_v and_o burn_v all_o at_o once_o and_o i_o say_v and_o say_v again_o that_o that_o interior_a fire_n and_o despair_n be_v the_o very_o worst_a of_o it_o all_o whilst_o i_o be_v in_o this_o most_o pestilential_a place_n and_o that_o without_o any_o possibility_n of_o ever_o so_o much_o as_o once_o hope_v for_o any_o comfort_n at_o all_o there_o be_v no_o such_o thing_n to_o be_v think_v of_o as_o sit_v or_o extend_v myself_o nor_o be_v there_o any_o place_n void_a to_o receive_v one_o though_o yet_o they_o have_v put_v i_o into_o that_o thing_n which_o be_v like_o a_o hole_n in_o a_o wall_n because_o even_o those_o very_a wall_n which_o be_v also_o most_o hideous_a to_o the_o sight_n do_v even_o press_v their_o very_a self_n close_o towards_o and_o upon_o one_o another_o and_o every_o thing_n there_o help_v to_o choke_v there_o be_v also_o no_o light_n in_o that_o place_n but_o all_o be_v gross_a and_o even_o palpable_a darkness_n for_o my_o part_n i_o understand_v not_o how_o this_o can_v be_v for_o with_o have_v no_o light_n at_o all_o yet_o all_o that_o which_o may_v be_v able_a to_o give_v any_o vexation_n to_o the_o sight_n be_v discern_v and_o see_v our_o lord_n be_v not_o please_v at_o that_o time_n that_o i_o shall_v see_v any_o more_o of_o hell_n but_o afterward_o i_o have_v another_o vision_n of_o most_o fearful_a thing_n and_o of_o the_o punishment_n of_o certain_a particular_a vice_n and_o forasmuch_o as_o i_o may_v be_v able_a to_o discern_v and_o judge_v of_o by_o the_o sight_n these_o seem_v to_o be_v even_o more_o hideous_a than_o the_o former_a but_o yet_o in_o regard_n that_o i_o feel_v not_o the_o pain_n of_o it_o they_o make_v i_o not_o so_o much_o afraid_a for_o in_o this_o other_o present_a vision_n our_o lord_n be_v please_v that_o i_o shall_v real_o feel_v those_o torment_n and_o affliction_n in_o spirit_n even_o as_o if_o my_o very_a body_n have_v be_v suffer_v they_o there_o favour_n i_o know_v not_o how_o all_o this_o can_v be_v but_o yet_o i_o understand_v well_o enough_o that_o it_o be_v a_o very_a great_a favour_n and_o that_o our_o lord_n be_v please_v that_o i_o shall_v discern_v as_o even_o by_o the_o very_a sight_n of_o my_o own_o eye_n from_o whence_o his_o great_a mercy_n have_v deliver_v i_o for_o it_o be_v nothing_o to_o have_v hear_v talk_n of_o it_o nor_o that_o at_o other_o time_n i_o have_v consider_v several_a sort_n of_o torment_n though_o yet_o i_o do_v it_o not_o often_o for_o i_o like_v not_o that_o very_o well_o in_o regard_n of_o the_o fear_v it_o give_v i_o nor_o yet_o that_o the_o devil_n be_v wont_a to_o tear_v man_n in_o piece_n with_o hot_a pincer_n nor_o any_o other_o thing_n whereof_o i_o have_v read_v for_o all_z in_o fine_a be_v nothing_o if_o once_o it_o be_v compare_v to_o this_o since_o this_o be_v whole_o another_o kind_n of_o thing_n and_o the_o torment_n of_o this_o world_n compare_v with_o this_o be_v no_o more_o than_o a_o mere_a picture_n in_o comparison_n of_o the_o life_n the_o very_a burn_a which_o be_v feel_v in_o this_o world_n be_v but_o a_o very_a trifle_n in_o respect_n of_o that_o other_o for_o my_o part_n i_o remain_v astonish_v and_o amaze_v at_o it_o and_o so_o i_o be_o even_o whilst_o i_o be_o write_v these_o thing_n though_o it_o happen_v to_o i_o six_o year_n ago_o and_o it_o be_v a_o most_o real_a truth_n that_o even_o now_o in_o the_o very_a place_n where_o i_o be_o but_o think_v of_o they_o the_o natural_a heat_n of_o my_o body_n begin_v to_o fail_v i_o even_o for_o very_a fear_n not_o do_v i_o ever_o remember_v what_o pass_v then_o but_o that_o all_o my_o affliction_n and_o trouble_n and_o whatsoever_o can_v be_v suffer_v in_o this_o life_n seem_v nothing_o to_o i_o and_o so_o also_o i_o think_v it_o seem_v that_o in_o part_n we_o complain_v here_o without_o reason_n and_o therefore_o i_o say_v again_o that_o this_o be_v one_o of_o the_o great_a favour_n that_o i_o ever_o receive_v in_o my_o whole_a life_n at_o the_o hand_n of_o our_o lord_n for_o it_o favour_n have_v benefit_v i_o very_o much_o both_o towards_o the_o make_v i_o loose_v all_o fear_n and_o care_n concern_v the_o tribulation_n and_o contradiction_n of_o this_o life_n as_o also_o to_o give_v i_o strength_n towards_o the_o endure_a they_o and_o final_o to_o render_v thanks_n to_o our_o bless_a lord_n for_o deliver_v i_o as_o now_o i_o
little_a in_o the_o monastery_n the_o devil_n also_o will_v be_v sure_a to_o help_v to_o be_v partly_o a_o mean_n that_o i_o may_v remain_v little_a at_o home_n for_o always_o by_o my_o impart_v to_o some_o of_o the_o religious_a there_o those_o good_a thing_n which_o i_o have_v learn_v of_o other_o with_o who_o i_o use_v to_o converse_v they_o receive_v much_o advantage_n and_o good_a but_o yet_o once_o be_v there_o with_o a_o certain_a person_n it_o happen_v that_o she_o say_v both_o to_o i_o and_o other_o what_o say_v you_o if_o we_o shall_v become_v like_o those_o religious_a woman_n who_o go_v barefoot_a for_o perhaps_o it_o may_v be_v possible_a in_o time_n to_o make_v some_o monastery_n of_o that_o kind_n but_o now_o i_o have_v also_o these_o very_a same_o desire_n begin_v to_o treat_v the_o business_n with_o that_o widow_n my_o companion_n and_o friend_n of_o who_o i_o speak_v before_o who_o have_v also_o the_o same_o desire_n with_o i_o upon_o this_o she_o begin_v to_o cast_v how_o to_o endue_v it_o with_o rent_n but_o i_o come_v quick_o to_o find_v that_o there_o be_v no_o great_a probability_n of_o that_o though_o the_o desire_n which_o we_o have_v thereof_o make_v we_o yet_o believe_v that_o it_o may_v perhaps_o take_v effect_n but_o i_o on_o the_o other_o side_n find_v great_a contentment_n in_o the_o house_n where_o i_o be_v because_o it_o be_v much_o according_a to_o my_o own_o mind_n and_o the_o cell_n wherein_o i_o live_v be_v of_o very_o great_a conventence_n for_o i_o suspend_v myself_o from_o be_v earnest_n in_o the_o execution_n of_o that_o other_o design_n though_o yet_o we_o do_v resolve_v to_o recommend_v it_o in_o particular_a manner_n to_o almighty_a god_n and_o one_o day_n as_o soon_o as_o i_o have_v communicate_v his_o divine_a majesty_n command_v i_o in_o earnest_a manner_n to_o endeavour_v it_o to_o the_o very_a utter_a most_o of_o my_o power_n and_o he_o be_v please_v to_o make_v i_o great_a promise_n that_o the_o monastery_n shall_v not_o fail_v to_o be_v make_v and_o that_o he_o will_v be_v serve_v much_o in_o it_o and_o that_o it_o shall_v be_v call_v by_o the_o name_n of_o s._n joseph_n and_o that_o himself_o will_v keep_v we_o safe_a at_o one_o of_o the_o gate_n and_o his_o mother_n our_o b._n lady_n at_o the_o other_o and_o that_o christ_n our_o lord_n will_v continue_v with_o we_o and_o that_o the_o place_n shall_v prove_v to_o be_v even_o a_o star_n which_o will_v yield_v great_a brightness_n and_o splendour_n of_o itself_o and_o that_o though_o other_o religious_a order_n be_v then_o relax_v man_n must_v not_o think_v that_o he_o be_v but_o little_o serve_v by_o they_o and_o what_o shall_v become_v of_o the_o world_n if_o it_o be_v not_o for_o religious_a person_n and_o that_o i_o shall_v tell_v my_o ghostly_a father_n that_o he_o have_v command_v i_o all_o this_o and_o that_o he_o wish_v he_o not_o to_o oppose_v it_o nor_o to_o divert_v i_o from_o it_o and_o this_o vision_n which_o our_o bless_a lord_n be_v please_v to_o give_v i_o be_v follow_v by_o so_o great_a effect_n that_o the_o speech_n which_o be_v use_v therein_o be_v such_o and_o utter_v in_o such_o a_o manner_n that_o i_o can_v not_o possible_o doubt_v but_o that_o it_o be_v he_o how_o soever_o i_o be_v still_o in_o extreme_a pain_n because_o the_o great_a disquiet_n and_o trouble_n which_o i_o be_v sure_o the_o thing_n will_v cost_v do_v partly_o represent_v themselves_o to_o i_o and_o consider_v how_o extreme_o well_o content_a i_o be_v in_o that_o first_o house_n and_o though_o former_o i_o have_v treat_v of_o this_o other_o business_n yet_o it_o be_v not_o with_o any_o such_o resolution_n and_o certainty_n as_o if_o it_o may_v be_v sure_a to_o take_v effect_n now_o here_o it_o seem_v to_o i_o that_o the_o reward_n set_v itself_o instant_o before_o i_o for_o the_o do_v it_o but_o yet_o when_o i_o see_v that_o it_o be_v likely_a to_o be_v a_o thing_n of_o very_o great_a disquiet_n and_o trouble_v i_o be_v still_o in_o a_o kind_n of_o doubt_n what_o i_o will_v final_o do_v and_o yet_o they_o be_v so_o many_o several_a time_n that_o our_o lord_n renew_v his_o speech_n to_o i_o upon_o this_o subject_n represent_v so_o many_o cause_n and_o reason_n for_o it_o that_o i_o see_v clear_o enough_o that_o it_o be_v his_o will_n so_o that_o now_o i_o think_v no_o more_o of_o any_o thing_n else_o but_o only_o to_o acquaint_v my_o ghostly_a father_n with_o it_o and_o so_o i_o give_v he_o all_o that_o which_o have_v occur_v in_o write_v as_o for_o he_o he_o dare_v not_o resolut_o will_v i_o to_o give_v it_o over_o but_o see_v that_o there_o be_v little_a appearance_n to_o carry_v it_o through_o according_a to_o the_o discourse_n of_o natural_a reason_n in_o regard_n that_o my_o companion_n and_o friend_n who_o be_v the_o only_o person_n who_o be_v to_o do_v it_o have_v very_o little_a or_o no_o mean_n to_o effect_v it_o he_o wish_v i_o to_o treat_v of_o it_o with_o the_o prelate_n who_o be_v my_o superior_a and_o that_o i_o shall_v do_v therein_o what_o he_o ordain_v but_o i_o speak_v not_o of_o these_o vision_n with_o that_o prelate_n but_o that_o lady_n treat_v with_o he_o and_o tell_v he_o that_o she_o desire_v to_o erect_v a_o new_a monastery_n and_o the_o provincial_n do_v very_o glad_o give_v way_n for_o he_o be_v a_o friend_n of_o all_o religious_a observance_n and_o piety_n and_o so_o he_o afford_v all_o the_o favour_n which_o be_v needful_a and_o tell_v she_o that_o he_o will_v admit_v and_o accept_v the_o house_n they_o speak_v then_o of_o the_o revenue_n which_o it_o be_v to_o have_v and_o we_o never_o incline_v to_o let_v it_o consist_v of_o more_o than_o thirteen_o religious_a &_o this_o for_o many_o reason_n but_o before_o we_o begin_v to_o treat_v of_o the_o matter_n thus_o far_o we_o write_v to_o the_o holy_a man_n fray_n pedro_n de_fw-fr alcantara_n and_o acquaint_v he_o with_o all_o that_o which_o pass_v and_o he_o counsel_v we_o to_o proceed_v in_o this_o design_n and_o he_o send_v we_o his_o opinion_n upon_o the_o whole_a business_n but_o now_o this_o purpose_n of_o we_o be_v no_o soon_o know_v over_o the_o town_n than_o there_o do_v instant_o grow_v to_o be_v such_o a_o persecution_n against_o we_o as_o can_v be_v write_v in_o few_o word_n the_o scoff_n the_o icare_n the_o laugh_a the_o say_n that_o it_o be_v a_o foolery_n and_o senseless_a toy_n that_o for_o my_o part_n i_o be_v well_o enough_o in_o my_o monastery_n but_o for_o my_o companion_n and_o friend_n they_o cast_v such_o a_o load_n of_o persecution_n upon_o she_o that_o they_o even_o overlay_v she_o as_o for_o i_o i_o know_v not_o what_o to_o do_v for_o i_o thought_n that_o they_o have_v partly_o some_o reason_n but_o be_v thus_o distress_v and_o recommend_v myself_o one_o day_n to_o almighty_a god_n his_o divine_a majesty_n begin_v to_o comfort_v and_o encourage_v i_o and_o tell_v i_o that_o now_o i_o may_v see_v through_o what_o difficulty_n those_o saint_n have_v pass_v who_o have_v found_v the_o religious_a order_n of_o the_o church_n and_o that_o we_o be_v to_o pass_v through_o many_o more_o persecution_n than_o i_o can_v imagine_v but_o that_o yet_o we_o shall_v not_o be_v trouble_v at_o all_o he_o tell_v i_o also_o some_o thing_n which_o i_o be_v to_o deliver_v to_o my_o companion_n and_o the_o thing_n at_o which_o i_o wonder_v most_o be_v that_o instant_o we_o be_v comfort_v in_o respect_n of_o all_o that_o which_o be_v pass_v and_o encourage_v for_o all_o that_o which_o be_v to_o be_v future_a and_o it_o be_v certain_a that_o there_o be_v not_o in_o all_o that_o town_n any_o one_o person_n of_o prayer_n nay_o in_o fine_a there_o be_v scarce_o any_o one_o at_o all_o who_o do_v not_o oppose_v we_o at_o that_o time_n and_o who_o think_v not_o this_o design_n to_o be_v a_o most_o senseless_a thing_n there_o be_v so_o many_o jest_n and_o learing_n and_o stir_n in_o our_o very_a monastery_n that_o now_o even_o the_o provincial_n oppose_v himself_o stiff_o against_o we_o and_o he_o change_v his_o former_a opinion_n and_o now_o will_v no_o long_o admit_v the_o house_n but_o say_v that_o the_o rent_n be_v both_o little_a and_o beside_o not_o very_o secure_a and_o that_o there_o be_v very_o great_a contradiction_n he_o seem_v to_o have_v reason_n in_o all_o and_o in_o fine_a he_o gave-ove_a the_o business_n and_o will_v not_o admit_v the_o house_n now_o we_o who_o have_v already_o receive_v the_o first_o blow_n upon_o our_o own_o head_n be_v great_o trouble_v at_o it_o but_o particular_o it_o strike_v i_o much_o that_o the_o provincial_n be_v now_o find_v to_o be_v opposite_a for_o
if_o he_o have_v still_o like_v it_o myself_o have_v be_v excuse_v and_o discharge_v with_o all_o the_o world_n but_o yet_o they_o be_v not_o so_o favourable_a to_o my_o companion_n for_o she_o they_o will_v not_o absolve_v but_o leave_v she_o to_o herself_o yea_o and_o they_o say_v that_o she_o be_v oblige_v to_o take_v away_o the_o scandal_n she_o go_v therefore_o to_o a_o great_a learned_a man_n and_o a_o great_a servant_n of_o god_n of_o s._n dominick_n order_n to_o tell_v he_o what_o have_v pass_v and_o indeed_o to_o give_v he_o account_v of_o the_o whole_a business_n and_o this_o be_v before_o the_o provincial_n have_v give_v it_o over_o for_o now_o there_o be_v no_o creature_n in_o the_o whole_a town_n who_o will_v give_v we_o any_o opinion_n in_o the_o case_n and_o therefore_o they_o may_v well_o affirm_v as_o they_o do_v that_o we_o proceed_v in_o all_o this_o of_o our_o own_o head_n but_o that_o lady_n make_v relation_n of_o the_o whole_a business_n to_o this_o holy_a man_n and_o acquaint_v he_o with_o the_o rent_n which_o she_o mean_v to_o settle_v upon_o it_o out_o of_o her_o own_o estate_n with_o much_o desire_n that_o he_o will_v assist_v we_o for_o he_o be_v the_o great_a learned_a man_n in_o all_o that_o town_n at_o that_o time_n and_o perhaps_o there_o be_v not_o many_o more_o learned_a in_o his_o whole_a order_n i_o tell_v he_o also_o of_o all_o that_o which_o we_o intend_v to_o do_v and_o some_o motive_n thereof_o but_o i_o acquaint_v he_o not_o with_o any_o revelation_n of_o i_o but_o only_o with_o those_o natural_a reason_n which_o move_v i_o for_o i_o desire_v not_o that_o he_o shall_v give_v we_o any_o opinion_n but_o according_a to_o they_o and_o he_o on_o the_o other_o side_n wish_a that_o we_o will_v give_v he_o the_o rearme_n of_o eight_o day_n wherein_o to_o answer_v he_o ask_v we_o also_o then_o whether_o we_o be_v resolve_v to_o do_v that_o very_a thing_n which_o he_o shall_v direct_v and_o i_o tell_v he_o we_o be_v but_o though_o i_o say_v thus_o much_o and_o i_o think_v i_o will_v have_v do_v as_o i_o say_v yet_o do_v i_o never_o loose_v assurance_n that_o the_o monastery_n in_o fine_a will_v be_v make_v my_o companion_n have_v yet_o a_o strong_a faith_n for_o whatsoever_o they_o may_v say_v to_o she_o she_o will_v never_o give-ove_a to_o execute_v the_o design_n but_o now_o though_o i_o hold_v it_o impossible_a but_o that_o the_o work_n will_v be_v do_v so_o assure_o do_v i_o believe_v that_o the_o revelation_n aforesaid_a be_v true_a provide_v always_o that_o it_o be_v find_v to_o contain_v nothing_o either_o against_o holy_a scripture_n or_o the_o decree_n of_o the_o church_n which_o we_o be_v bind_v to_o believe_v and_o observe_v yet_o howsoever_o as_o i_o say_v before_o i_o conceive_v that_o that_o revelation_n be_v real_o of_o almighty_a god_n if_o still_o that_o learned_a man_n have_v tell_v i_o that_o we_o can_v not_o effect_v the_o thing_n without_o offend_v his_o divine_a majesty_n and_o that_o we_o shall_v have_v sin_v against_o good_a conscience_n by_o procure_v it_o i_o conceive_v that_o i_o shall_v instant_o have_v give_v it_o over_o and_o soughtout_a some_o other_o mean_n for_o my_o relief_n but_o for_o the_o present_a our_o lord_n impart_v none_o but_o this_o to_o i_o but_o now_o this_o servant_n of_o almighty_a god_n tell_v i_o that_o he_o have_v take_v this_o business_n into_o his_o care_n together_o with_o a_o full_a resolution_n to_o employ_v himself_o earnest_o in_o procure_v that_o we_o may_v give-ove_a our_o purpose_n because_o the_o clamour_n of_o the_o people_n against_o it_o have_v already_o come_v to_o his_o notice_n and_o so_o also_o have_v it_o appear_v to_o every_o creature_n to_o be_v a_o impertinency_n and_o beside_o that_o a_o certain_a cavallier_n of_o the_o town_n as_o soon_o as_o he_o have_v understand_v that_o we_o intend_v to_o speak_v with_o the_o father_n send_v to_o he_o to_o advise_v he_o to_o consider_v well_o what_o he_o do_v and_o that_o by_o no_o mean_n he_o shall_v help_v we_o yet_o that_o now_o himself_o begin_v to_o consider_v what_o he_o be_v to_o answer_v we_o and_o to_o reflect_v serious_o upon_o the_o business_n and_o upon_o the_o intention_n which_o we_o have_v and_o with_o what_o good_a order_n and_o religious_a manner_n we_o proceed_v he_o resolve_v in_o fine_a that_o it_o will_v be_v a_o thing_n result_v much_o to_o the_o service_n of_o almighty_a god_n and_o that_o we_o shall_v by_o no_o mean_n forbear_v to_o put_v it_o in_o execution_n and_o in_o conformity_n to_o this_o his_o answer_n be_v that_o we_o shall_v make_v what_o have_v we_o can_v to_o conclude_v it_o and_o he_o also_o let_v we_o know_v his_o opinion_n of_o the_o way_n and_o manner_n which_o we_o be_v best_a to_o hold_v in_o it_o and_o that_o though_o the_o rent_n be_v little_a yet_o almighty_a god_n be_v to_o be_v trust_v with_o somewhat_o and_o that_o for_o his_o part_n he_o desire_v that_o whosoever_o shall_v contradict_v or_o oppose_v it_o may_v be_v send_v to_o he_o for_o he_o will_v know_v very_o well_o what_o to_o answer_v and_o according_o he_o assist_v we_o ever_o as_o i_o shall_v declare_v hereafter_o with_o this_o we_o go_v much_o comfort_v away_o as_o also_o in_o that_o we_o find_v how_o some_o holy_a person_n of_o that_o place_n who_o former_o have_v be_v opposite_a to_o we_o grow_v now_o to_o be_v appease_v and_o some_o of_o they_o do_v also_o assist_v we_o and_o among_o they_o be_v that_o holy_a cavalier_n of_o who_o i_o make_v mention_v before_o who_o in_o regard_n that_o our_o pretence_n seem_v to_o aspire_v to_o great_a perfection_n as_o indeed_o it_o do_v because_o it_o be_v whole_o ground_v in_o prayer_n he_o gave-up_a this_o opinion_n and_o vote_n that_o howsoever_o the_o mean_n whereby_o thing_n must_v be_v effect_v seem_v to_o carry_v much_o difficulty_n with_o they_o and_o to_o be_v without_o great_a appearance_n of_o success_n yet_o perhaps_o that_o it_o may_v fallout_a to_o be_v of_o almighty_a god_n now_o it_o may_v be_v that_o our_o bless_a lord_n dispose_v he_o to_o be_v of_o this_o mind_n and_o the_o doctor_n also_o that_o priest_n and_o servant_n of_o almighty_a god_n who_o i_o relate_v to_o have_v vote_v first_o and_o who_o be_v the_o very_a mirror_n of_o all_o that_o town_n &_o the_o person_n who_o almighty_a god_n perserue_v there_o for_o the_o good_a of_o many_o soul_n be_v now_o also_o grow_v already_o to_o assist_v i_o in_o the_o business_n and_o thus_o we_o be_v come_v to_o this_o condition_n by_o the_o help_n of_o many_o prayer_n and_o now_o already_o we_o have_v buy_v the_o house_n in_o a_o good_a part_n of_o the_o town_n though_o but_o a_o poor_a one_o but_o i_o value_v not_o that_o at_o all_o for_o our_o lord_n have_v tell_v i_o before_o that_o i_o shall_v enter_v as_o well_o as_o i_o can_v and_o that_o afterward_o i_o shall_v find_v what_o his_o divine_a majesty_n will_v do_v and_o that_o have_v i_o see_v well_o perform_v and_o so_o although_o i_o find_v that_o we_o have_v but_o little_a mean_n yet_o i_o believe_v that_o our_o bless_a lord_n will_v take_v order_n that_o we_o shall_v be_v favour_v by_o other_o way_n the_o three_o and_o thirty_o chapter_n she_o proceed_v in_o the_o same_o subject_n of_o the_o foundation_n of_o the_o monastery_n of_o the_o glorious_a s._n joseph_n she_o declare_v how_o she_o be_v command_v to_o attend_v to_o that_o business_n and_o of_o the_o time_n when_o she_o forbear_v to_o follow_v it_o and_o of_o some_o trouble_n which_o she_o have_v and_o how_o she_o be_v comfort_v in_o they_o by_o our_o bless_a lord_n this_o business_n be_v now_o in_o such_o case_n and_o so_o near_o the_o point_n of_o final_a dispatch_n that_o they_o be_v to_o draw-up_a the_o write_n the_o very_a next_o day_n follow_v it_o fall_v out_o to_o be_v just_a then_o when_o our_o provincial_n grow_v to_o change_v his_o latter_a opinion_n and_o return_v to_o his_o former_a and_o i_o believe_v he_o be_v move_v to_o it_o by_o divine_a ordination_n as_o we_o shall_v see_v afterward_o for_o our_o prayer_n have_v be_v so_o many_o as_o indeed_o they_o be_v it_o seem_v that_o our_o bless_a lord_n go_v perfect_v the_o work_n and_o appoint_v that_o it_o shall_v be_v dispatch_v though_o after_o a_o different_a manner_n from_o what_o we_o conceive_v but_o when_o once_o the_o say_v provincial_n have_v former_o refuse_v to_o admit_v of_o the_o house_n my_o ghostly_a father_n give_v i_o a_o commandment_n that_o i_o shall_v now_o think_v no_o more_o of_o that_o matter_n and_o yet_o our_o lord_n best_o know_v what_o trouble_v and_o affliction_n it_o have_v cost_v i_o before_o i_o can_v ever_o bring_v it_o to_o
that_o state_n and_o condition_n wherein_o then_o it_o be_v but_o now_o the_o thing_n be_v give_v over_o all_o that_o former_a imputation_n be_v confirm_v namely_o that_o it_o be_v nothing_o but_o a_o impertinency_n of_o woman_n and_o their_o murmur_n come_v particular_o upon_o i_o though_o till_o that_o time_n the_o provincial_n have_v command_v it_o to_o be_v do_v in_o the_o mean_a while_n i_o grow_v to_o be_v very_o ill_o belove_v in_o the_o monastery_n because_o i_o go_v about_o to_o make_v a_o new_a one_o which_o may_v be_v of_o more_o strict_a enclosure_n for_o they_o say_v that_o i_o affront_v they_o by_o it_o and_o that_o god_n may_v be_v as_o well_o serve_v there_o and_o that_o there_o be_v better_a among_o they_o than_o myself_o and_o that_o now_o they_o discover_v well_o enough_o that_o i_o carry_v no_o true_a love_n to_o that_o house_n that_o it_o have_v be_v much_o better_o do_v to_o procure_v to_o get_v revenue_n and_o rent_n for_o that_o place_n then_o for_o any_o other_o yea_o and_o now_o there_o want_v not_o some_o who_o advise_v that_o i_o may_v be_v carry_v to_o prison_n and_o there_o be_v but_o very_o few_o who_o do_v in_o any_o kind_n take_v my_o part_n as_o for_o i_o i_o see_v that_o they_o have_v reason_n in_o very_a much_o of_o what_o they_o say_v and_o sometime_o i_o will_v be_v make_v my_o excuse_n though_o yet_o i_o be_v not_o able_a to_o tell_v they_o the_o chief_n motive_n thereof_o which_o be_v that_o i_o have_v be_v command_v to_o do_v it_o by_o our_o bless_a lord_n i_o know_v not_o therefore_o well_o what_o to_o say_v and_o so_o i_o think_v it_o fit_a to_o hold_v my_o peace_n at_o other_o time_n it_o please_v our_o lord_n to_o do_v i_o very_o great_a favour_n for_o this_o of_o the_o monastery_n put_v i_o now_o to_o no_o disquiet_n at_o all_o but_o i_o give_v it_o over_o with_o as_o much_o facility_n and_o gust_n as_o if_o it_o have_v never_o cost_v i_o any_o pain_n or_o care_n yet_o this_o can_v no_o creature_n believe_v no_o not_o even_o those_o person_n of_o prayer_n with_o who_o i_o converse_v but_o they_o conceive_v that_o i_o be_v full_a of_o trouble_n yea_o and_o of_o shame_n and_o even_o my_o ghostly_a father_n himself_o do_v not_o absolute_o believe_v the_o contrary_n but_o as_o for_o i_o when_o i_o consider_v that_o i_o have_v do_v whatsoever_o i_o can_v on_o my_o part_n i_o think_v i_o be_v no_o further_o oblige_v to_o the_o effect_n of_o what_o our_o lord_n have_v command_v i_o i_o remain_v still_o in_o the_o monastery_n and_o i_o find_v myself_o with_o much_o contentment_n and_o gust_n yet_o even_o still_o i_o know_v not_o well_o how_o to_o imagine_v but_o that_o the_o thing_n will_v be_v do_v soon_o or_o late_a and_o of_o this_o i_o have_v no_o fear_n at_o all_o though_o i_o know_v not_o either_o how_o or_o when_o but_o only_o i_o believe_v that_o it_o will_v be_v certain_o do_v that_o which_o trouble_v i_o extreme_o be_v that_o once_o my_o ghostly_a father_n give_v i_o a_o great_a mortification_n as_o if_o i_o have_v do_v somewhat_o against_o his_o will_n but_o it_o seem_v our_o lord_n be_v please_v that_o i_o shall_v be_v in_o some_o affliction_n even_o by_o occasion_n of_o that_o which_o be_v most_o tender_a and_o dear_a to_o i_o for_o whilst_o i_o be_v in_o this_o multitude_n of_o persecution_n when_o i_o expect_v that_o some_o kind_n of_o comfort_n will_v be_v come_v towards_o i_o he_o write_v i_o a_o letter_n to_o this_o effect_n that_o proceed_n now_o he_o hope_v i_o see_v by_o what_o occur_v that_o all_o have_v be_v nothing_o but_o a_o dream_n that_o i_o shall_v do_v well_o to_o reform_v myself_o hereafter_o so_o far_o as_o not_o to_o pretend_v to_o meddle_v any_o more_o with_o any_o business_n nor_o to_o be_v talk_v any_o more_o of_o this_o in_o particular_a for_o that_o i_o can_v not_o but_o see_v well_o enough_o what_o a_o scandal_n be_v grow_v upon_o it_o and_o other_o thing_n he_o also_o say_v which_o do_v all_o serve_v for_o nothing_o at_o all_o but_o only_o to_o put_v i_o to_o pain_n this_o i_o confess_v give_v i_o more_o trouble_n than_o all_o those_o other_o thing_n put_v together_o as_o conceave_a or_o at_o another_o least_o as_o doubt_v whether_o i_o may_v not_o have_v be_v the_o occasion_n of_o all_o the_o ill_a which_o have_v happen_v and_o whether_o i_o may_v not_o have_v commit_v some_o such_o error_n as_o whereby_o almighty_a god_n may_v have_v be_v offend_v nay_o whether_o these_o vision_n of_o i_o have_v not_o be_v illusion_n and_o so_o consequér_o whether_o my_o whole_a course_n of_o prayer_n have_v not_o be_v of_o the_o devil_n and_o whither_o final_o i_o be_v not_o then_o in_o a_o plain_a state_n of_o error_n and_o perdition_n this_o i_o confess_v oppress_v i_o with_o so_o great_a extremity_n that_o i_o grow_v to_o be_v all_o in_o disorder_n and_o subject_a to_o extreme_a affliction_n but_o our_o lord_n who_o be_v never_o want_v to_o i_o in_o all_o those_o trouble_n of_o i_o which_o i_o have_v express_v be_v often_o please_v to_o comfort_n and_o strengthen_v i_o though_o i_o need_v not_o stand_v here_o to_o relate_v it_o and_o he_o tell_v i_o also_o then_o that_o i_o shall_v not_o vex_v myself_o that_o i_o have_v great_o serve_v his_o divine_a majesty_n in_o that_o business_n and_o not_o offend_v he_o at_o all_o that_o for_o the_o present_a i_o shall_v do_v what_o my_o ghostly_a father_n have_v command_v i_o in_o hold_v my_o peace_n till_o it_o shall_v be_v fit_a to_o renew_v the_o business_n and_o in_o the_o mean_a time_n i_o remain_v full_a of_o contentment_n and_o consolation_n and_o i_o hold_v all_o that_o persecution_n for_o nothing_o which_o have_v come_v upon_o i_o till_o then_o but_o now_o by_o this_o mean_n i_o be_v teach_v by_o our_o bless_a lord_n what_o a_o very_a great_a benefit_n it_o be_v to_o endure_v trouble_n and_o persecution_n for_o his_o sake_n for_o so_o much_o be_v the_o love_n of_o almighty_a god_n increase_v in_o my_o soul_n by_o this_o mean_n as_o be_v also_o many_o other_o virtue_n that_o i_o be_v amaze_v at_o it_o and_o this_o in_o fine_a be_v the_o reason_n why_o i_o can_v but_o desire_v affliction_n and_o trouble_n but_o the_o while_n those_o other_o person_n thought_n that_o i_o be_v extreme_o out_o of_o countenance_n with_o what_o have_v happen_v and_o certain_o i_o shall_v have_v be_v so_o indeed_o if_o our_o lord_n have_v not_o be_v please_v to_o comfort_v i_o so_o high_o with_o that_o great_a favour_n but_o than_o do_v those_o strong_a impulse_n and_o impetuosity_n of_o the_o love_n of_o almighty_a god_n whereof_o i_o have_v former_o speak_v begin_v to_o increase_v more_o and_o more_o and_o i_o also_o come_v to_o have_v great_a rapt_n though_o yet_o i_o acquaint_v no_o creature_n with_o the_o gain_n which_o i_o have_v get_v by_o it_o in_o the_o mean_a time_n that_o holy_a man_n the_o dominican_n do_v never_o give-ove_a to_o believe_v that_o the_o business_n will_v be_v sure_a to_o take_v effect_n even_o as_o well_o as_o i_o believe_v it_o myself_o but_o i_o will_v take_v no_o knowledge_n of_o that_o because_o i_o be_v resolve_v not_o to_o swerve_v from_o what_o i_o have_v be_v command_v by_o my_o ghostly_a father_n the_o dominican_n negotiate_v also_o the_o business_n together_o with_o my_o companion_n and_o friend_n and_o they_o write_v about_o it_o to_o rome_n and_o make_v their_o proposition_n there_o and_o the_o while_n do_v the_o devil_n here_o by_o carry_v thing_n from_o one_o person_n to_o another_o procure_v to_o make_v it_o know_v that_o i_o have_v have_v some_o revelation_n in_o this_o business_n upon_o this_o some_o come_v to_o tell_v i_o with_o a_o great_a deal_n of_o apprehension_n and_o fear_v that_o i_o shall_v do_v well_o to_o look_v to_o myself_o and_o that_o the_o time_n be_v strict_a and_o shrewd_a and_o that_o perhaps_o man_n may_v lay_v some_o thing_n to_o my_o charge_n and_o go_v on_o even_o to_o the_o inquisitour_n by_o way_n of_o complaint_n but_o this_o i_o confess_v make_v i_o sport_n and_o i_o begin_v to_o laugh_v at_o it_o for_o it_o be_v never_o my_o case_n to_o be_v afraid_a of_o any_o such_o thing_n as_o this_o as_o know_v very_o well_o of_o myself_o that_o in_o all_o thing_n which_o concern_v catholic_n faith_n yea_o even_o to_o the_o least_o ceremony_n of_o the_o church_n i_o be_v total_o for_o it_o and_o that_o also_o for_o the_o least_o word_n of_o holy_a scripture_n i_o will_v expose_v myself_o a_o thousand_o time_n to_o death_n and_o therefore_o i_o desire_v they_o not_o to_o trouble_v themselves_o concern_v i_o in_o this_o point_n and_o that_o my_o soul_n be_v miserable_a enough_o and_o
too_o much_o if_o any_o such_o thing_n can_v be_v find_v in_o it_o as_o may_v put_v i_o into_o any_o fear_n of_o the_o inquisition_n that_o if_o i_o think_v there_o be_v any_o ground_n or_o cause_n myself_o will_v be_v the_o first_o to_o go_v thither_o and_o that_o if_o it_o be_v a_o slander_n raise_v up_o against_o i_o our_o lord_n will_v deliver_v i_o from_o it_o and_o i_o shall_v prove_v the_o gainer_n by_o that_o bargain_n now_o i_o treat_v of_o this_o matter_n with_o the_o dominican_n father_n who_o as_o i_o say_v be_v so_o very_o learned_a a_o man_n that_o i_o may_v well_o assure_v myself_o upon_o whatsoever_o he_o shall_v declare_v to_o i_o herein_o and_o i_o tell_v he_o then_o upon_o this_o occasion_n with_o the_o great_a clearness_n that_o i_o can_v possible_o use_v of_o all_o the_o vision_n which_o i_o have_v have_v and_o of_o the_o manner_n of_o prayer_n which_o i_o have_v use_v and_o of_o the_o great_a favour_n which_o our_o bless_a lord_n have_v be_v please_v to_o do_v i_o and_o i_o humble_o pray_v he_o to_o consider_v all_o these_o thing_n very_o well_o and_o to_o let_v i_o understand_v if_o there_o be_v any_o thing_n at_o all_o in_o any_o of_o they_o against_o holy_a scripture_n and_o that_o also_o he_o will_v acquaint_v i_o with_o the_o judgement_n which_o he_o make_v thereof_o now_o all_o this_o he_o do_v and_o so_o settle_v and_o secure_v i_o very_o much_o and_o i_o grow_v to_o be_v also_o of_o opinion_n that_o this_o accident_n be_v of_o much_o advantage_n even_o to_o he_o for_o though_o he_o be_v former_o very_o good_a yet_o he_o give_v himself_o much_o more_o to_o prayer_n from_o that_o time_n forward_o and_o withdraw_v himself_o to_o a_o certain_a retire_a monastery_n of_o his_o own_o order_n which_o be_v a_o place_n of_o great_a solitude_n and_o silence_n to_o the_o end_n that_o so_o he_o may_v exercise_v himself_o the_o better_a in_o prayer_n he_o remain_v there_o above_o two_o year_n and_o then_o obedience_n to_o his_o order_n take_v he_o from_o thence_o for_o which_o he_o be_v sorry_a enough_o but_o they_o have_v need_n of_o such_o a_o man_n as_o he_o be_v &_o i_o be_v no_o less_o grieve_v when_o he_o go_v from_o i_o through_o the_o great_a want_n which_o i_o be_v sure_a i_o shall_v have_v of_o he_o though_o yet_o i_o know_v withal_o that_o he_o will_v be_v a_o gainer_n by_o it_o and_o whilst_o i_o be_v in_o pain_n about_o his_o journey_n our_o lord_n bid_v i_o be_v comfort_v and_o not_o trouble_v for_o that_o he_o go_v away_o to_o good_a purpose_n and_o indeed_o he_o come_v back_o again_o afterward_o with_o his_o soul_n so_o well_o improve_v and_o advance_v in_o the_o way_n of_o spirit_n that_o himself_o tell_v i_o at_o his_o return_n how_o he_o will_v not_o for_o any_o thing_n of_o this_o world_n but_o that_o he_o have_v go_v and_o i_o also_o can_v say_v the_o same_o for_o whereas_o he_o have_v former_o give_v i_o assurance_n and_o comfort_n but_o only_o by_o his_o letter_n he_o be_v now_o grow_v able_a to_o do_v it_o also_o through_o the_o great_a experience_n which_o he_o be_v come_v to_o have_v in_o spirit_n and_o of_o supernatural_a thing_n and_o it_o also_o please_v almighty_a god_n to_o bring_v he_o back_o to_o we_o at_o such_o a_o time_n as_o when_o his_o divine_a majesty_n see_v that_o there_o will_v be_v need_n of_o he_o for_o assist_v his_o work_n concern_v this_o monastery_n which_o his_o will_n be_v shall_v go_v forward_o but_o in_o the_o mean_a time_n i_o remain_v in_o silence_n for_o a_o matter_n of_o some_o five_o or_o six_o month_n not_o hear_v or_o say_v any_o thing_n of_o this_o business_n nor_o do_v our_o bless_a lord_n command_v i_o any_o thing_n about_o it_o nor_o understand_v i_o the_o reason_n thereof_o but_o yet_o still_o i_o can_v not_o part_v with_o the_o beleif_n but_o that_o the_o business_n will_v be_v do_v soon_o or_o late_a but_o at_o the_o end_n of_o that_o time_n aforesaid_a the_o rectour_n of_o the_o college_n of_o the_o society_n of_o jesus_n who_o have_v be_v there_o till_o then_o be_v now_o to_o remove_v from_o hence_o his_o divine_a majesty_n bring_v another_o to_o be_v in_o his_o place_n who_o be_v a_o very_a spiritual_a person_n and_o of_o great_a courage_n and_o understanding_n and_o learning_n and_o he_o come_v at_o a_o certain_a time_n when_o i_o be_v in_o very_o great_a need_n of_o help_n for_o in_o regard_n that_o he_o who_o be_v my_o ghostly_a father_n have_v a_o superior_a over_o himself_o and_o by_o reason_n that_o they_o have_v this_o virtue_n in_o perfection_n not_o so_o much_o as_o once_o to_o stir_v but_o in_o conformity_n to_o the_o will_n of_o their_o superior_n and_o though_o this_o ghostly_a father_n of_o i_o have_v a_o very_a good_a understanding_n of_o my_o spirit_n and_o desire_v that_o i_o may_v profit_v &_o proceed_v he_o yet_o adventure_v not_o to_o conclude_v some_o thing_n with_o a_o firm_a resolution_n for_o diverse_a reason_n which_o he_o have_v for_o it_o and_o on_o the_o other_o side_n my_o spirit_n do_v press_v already_o to_o pass_v on_o with_o certain_a impulse_n and_o impetuosity_n which_o be_v so_o great_a that_o i_o find_v it_o a_o very_a troublesome_a thing_n to_o be_v tie_v short_a and_o yet_o for_o all_o this_o i_o resolve_v not_o to_o exceed_v those_o bound_n at_o all_o which_o he_o have_v prescribe_v and_o be_v one_o day_n in_o much_o affliction_n as_o conceave_a that_o my_o ghostly_a father_n do_v not_o believe_v i_o it_o please_v our_o b._n lord_n to_o require_v i_o not_o to_o trouble_v myself_o affirm_v that_o that_o difficulty_n will_v be_v soon_o at_o a_o end_n for_o my_o part_n i_o be_v much_o joy_v by_o this_o as_o conceave_a that_o i_o be_v quick_o to_o die_v and_o i_o be_v wont_n particular_o to_o rejoice_v when_o i_o remember_v it_o but_o afterward_o i_o see_v clear_o that_o his_o speech_n concern_v the_o come_n of_o this_o new_a rectour_n of_o who_o i_o speak_v and_o afterward_o i_o never_o have_v any_o occasion_n to_o be_v in_o pain_n in_o regard_n that_o this_o say_v new_a rectour_n contradict_v not_o the_o sub-rectour_a who_o be_v my_o confessarius_fw-la but_o rather_o man_n direct_v he_o to_o give_v i_o comfort_n and_o scope_n and_o that_o there_o be_v no_o cause_n of_o fear_n and_o that_o he_o shall_v not_o conduct_v my_o soul_n by_o such_o straight_a &_o narrow_a way_n and_o with_o such_o restriction_n but_o shall_v permit_v the_o spirit_n of_o our_o lord_n to_o work_v in_o i_o for_o indeed_o at_o some_o time_n it_o seem_v that_o by_o reason_n of_o those_o great_a impetuosity_n of_o spirit_n the_o soul_n have_v scarce_o room_n for_o so_o much_o as_o to_o breath_n i_o go_v then_o to_o visit_v this_o rectour_n and_o my_o ghostly_a father_n require_v i_o to_o treat_v with_o he_o with_o all_o liberty_n and_o clearness_n as_o for_o i_o i_o be_v wont_a to_o find_v very_o great_a difficulty_n to_o declare_v myself_o in_o that_o kind_n but_o yet_o real_o it_o be_v very_o true_a that_o even_o at_o my_o very_a first_o entrance_n into_o the_o confessionarie_n i_o feel_v a_o kind_n of_o i_o can_v tell_v what_o to_o call_v it_o in_o my_o spirit_n which_o i_o remember_v not_o myself_o to_o have_v ever_o find_v by_o occasion_n of_o any_o creature_n either_o before_o or_o after_o nor_o can_v i_o distinct_o tell_v how_o it_o be_v nor_o yet_o be_o i_o able_a to_o express_v it_o full_o by_o any_o way_n of_o comparison_n but_o it_o be_v a_o certain_a spiritual_a joy_n and_o a_o kind_n of_o understanding_n which_o my_o soul_n have_v that_o the_o soul_n of_o that_o man_n will_v be_v able_a to_o understand_v i_o and_o that_o there_o will_v be_v a_o kind_n of_o conformity_n in_o judgement_n between_o we_o two_o although_o as_o i_o be_v say_v i_o understand_v not_o how_o if_o indeed_o i_o have_v ever_o speak_v with_o he_o before_o or_o if_o other_o have_v peradventure_o give_v i_o any_o great_a news_n of_o the_o man_n it_o have_v not_o be_v very_o strange_a that_o it_o shall_v joy_v i_o when_o i_o come_v to_o understand_v that_o he_o be_v to_o hear_v i_o but_o neither_o he_o nor_o i_o have_v ever_o speak_v word_n to_o one_o another_o nor_o be_v there_o any_o one_o by_o who_o mean_n i_o have_v ever_o have_v any_o notice_n at_o all_o of_o he_o and_o yet_o since_o that_o time_n i_o have_v see_v very_o well_o that_o my_o spirit_n deceive_v i_o not_o because_o it_o have_v be_v of_o great_a advantage_n in_o all_o kind_n both_o to_o my_o soul_n and_o i_o to_o treat_v with_o he_o for_o his_o kind_n of_o conversation_n and_o way_n of_o conference_n and_o communication_n be_v a_o thing_n of_o great_a importance_n for_o such_o person_n as_o
our_o lord_n seem_v to_o have_v forward_v much_o in_o the_o way_n of_o spirit_n for_o he_o make_v they_o runne-on_a apace_o and_o not_o go_v foot_n by_o foot_n and_o his_o manner_n be_v to_o untie_v they_o sound_o and_o total_o from_o all_o creature_n and_o to_o put_v they_o to_o the_o exercise_n and_o practice_v of_o mortification_n for_o in_o this_o our_o bless_a lord_n have_v impart_v a_o most_o particular_a talon_n to_o he_o as_o he_o have_v also_o do_v in_o many_o other_o thing_n now_o as_o soon_o as_o i_o begin_v to_o communicate_v my_o affair_n with_o he_o i_o instant_o understand_v his_o stile_n and_o way_n of_o proceed_v and_o i_o find_v that_o he_o have_v a_o holy_a and_o pure_a soul_n and_o that_o our_o lord_n have_v give_v he_o a_o particular_a talent_n in_o the_o try_v and_o know_v of_o spirit_n so_o that_o i_o be_v comfort_v both_o much_o and_o very_o soon_o after_o i_o have_v once_o communicate_v with_o he_o and_o our_o bless_a lord_n begin_v again_o to_o press_v i_o towards_o a_o treat_v of_o the_o business_n of_o the_o monastery_n and_o that_o i_o shall_v declare_v both_o to_o my_o ghostly_a father_n and_o to_o this_o rectour_n the_o many_o ground_n and_o reason_n why_o they_o be_v not_o to_o dissuade_v and_o divert_v i_o from_o it_o and_o some_o of_o they_o make_v they_o hearty_o afraid_a to_o do_v it_o for_o this_o father_n rectour_n never_o do_v so_o much_o as_o doubt_v but_o that_o it_o be_v the_o spirit_n of_o almighty_a god_n because_o he_o have_v behold_v and_o consider_v the_o effect_n with_o very_o great_a study_n and_o care_n in_o fine_a after_o the_o consideration_n of_o many_o thing_n they_o dare_v not_o presume_v to_o divert_v i_o and_o my_o ghostly_a father_n do_v again_o give_v i_o leave_v to_o use_v all_o the_o endeavour_n i_o can_v and_o yet_o i_o be_v able_a to_o see_v very_o well_o what_o a_o great_a deal_n of_o trouble_n it_o will_v give_v i_o in_o regard_n i_o be_v so_o utter_o alone_a and_o have_v very_o little_a power_n to_o effect_v any_o thing_n but_o we_o agree_v that_o it_o shall_v be_v carry_v with_o great_a privacy_n and_o therefore_o i_o procure_v that_o a_o certain_a sister_n of_o i_o who_o live_v elsewhere_a shall_v buy_v and_o build_v the_o house_n as_o if_o it_o be_v for_o herself_o and_o that_o it_o shall_v be_v do_v with_o money_n which_o our_o lord_n find_v mean_n by_o certain_a way_n wherewith_o to_o pay_v for_o it_o but_o it_o will_v be_v a_o long_a business_n to_o tell_v you_o how_o his_o divine_a majesty_n go_v provide_v it_o for_o as_o for_o i_o i_o desire_v to_o be_v very_o sure_a to_o do_v nothing_o which_o may_v be_v against_o obedience_n but_o i_o be_v not_o then_o to_o learn_v that_o if_o i_o tell_v any_o thing_n to_o the_o superior_n of_o my_o order_n the_o whole_a business_n will_v be_v lose_v as_o it_o be_v before_o yea_o and_o that_o if_o i_o do_v so_o now_o it_o will_v fallout_a to_o be_v worse_o in_o the_o point_n of_o get_v money_n for_o make_v the_o bargain_n for_o a_o seat_n and_o for_o build_v also_o the_o house_n i_o endure_v many_o trouble_n and_o some_o of_o they_o all_o alone_a though_o yet_o my_o companion_n and_o friend_n do_v also_o the_o best_a she_o can_v but_o in_o fine_a she_o can_v do_v little_a and_o indeed_o so_o very_o little_a that_o upon_o the_o matter_n it_o be_v a_o kind_n of_o nothing_o but_o only_o to_o take_v upon_o she_o the_o name_n and_o to_o lend_v it_o her_o countenance_n for_o all_o the_o rest_n of_o the_o trouble_n i_o be_v i_o and_o it_o come_v upon_o i_o so_o very_a many_o way_n that_o i_o do_v even_o wonder_v now_o how_o i_o be_v able_a to_o endure_v it_o then_o sometime_o when_o i_o be_v full_a of_o affliction_n i_o will_v be_v utter_v myself_o to_o almighty_a god_n after_o this_o manner_n o_o my_o dear_a lord_n how_o come_v thou_o to_o command_v i_o thing_n which_o seem_v impossible_a for_o though_o i_o be_v a_o woman_n yet_o if_o i_o have_v liberty_n perhaps_o something_o may_v be_v do_v but_o be_v tie_v up_o in_o all_o respect_n without_o money_n and_o without_o know_v where_o to_o get_v any_o whereby_o either_o the_o breve_fw-la or_o any_o thing_n else_o may_v be_v have_v what_o can_v i_o do_v o_o lord_n but_o be_v once_o in_o a_o certain_a necessity_n and_o not_o know_v which_o way_n to_o turn_v myself_o and_o not_o be_v able_a to_o pay_v the_o workman_n s._n joseph_n my_o true_a father_n and_o patron_n appear_v to_o i_o and_o tell_v i_o that_o money_n will_v not_o be_v want_v to_o i_o and_o therefore_o that_o i_o shall_v make_v the_o agreement_n and_o so_o i_o do_v even_o when_o i_o have_v no_o money_n at_o all_o and_o afterward_o our_o bless_a lord_n provide_v it_o by_o so_o strange_a way_n that_o they_o who_o hear_v of_o it_o be_v amaze_v but_o now_o i_o think_v the_o house_n show_v to_o be_v very_o little_a and_o indeed_o it_o be_v so_o and_o in_o that_o extremity_n that_o it_o seem_v not_o capable_a of_o be_v ever_o able_a to_o be_v a_o monastery_n and_o i_o have_v a_o good_a mind_n to_o buy_v another_o house_n but_o neither_o have_v i_o wherewithal_o to_o do_v it_o nor_o otherwise_o any_o mean_n to_o procure_v it_o though_o there_o be_v yet_o a_o very_a little_a one_o join_v to_o it_o whereof_o a_o church_n may_v be_v make_v but_o after_o i_o have_v communicate_v one_o day_n our_o lord_n say_v thus_o to_o i_o i_o have_v already_o will_v thou_o to_o begin_v as_o thou_o may_v and_o then_o after_o the_o manner_n of_o exclamation_n he_o say_v thus_o also_o to_o i_o o_o the_o tovetousue_v of_o the_o race_n of_o mankind_n which_o think_v that_o it_o shall_v want_n even_o earth_n upon_o which_o to_o tread_v how_o often_o have_v i_o sleep_v in_o the_o open_a air_n as_o not_o know_v where_o to_o lay_v my_o head_n upon_o this_o i_o be_v amaze_v and_o find_v that_o he_o have_v reason_n and_o so_o i_o go_v to_o that_o little_a house_n and_o order_v it_o and_o though_o it_o be_v very_o little_a yet_o it_o be_v just_a fit_a to_o make_v such_o a_o kind_n of_o monastery_n and_o i_o make_v it_o no_o more_o my_o business_n to_o compass_v a_o large_a seat_n but_o procure_v to_o build_v upon_o that_o in_o such_o sort_n as_o it_o may_v be_v fit_a to_o be_v inhabit_v all_o course_n and_o rude_a and_o without_o any_o other_o mystery_n but_o only_o that_o it_o may_v not_o be_v hurtful_a in_o point_n of_o health_n and_o so_o it_o shall_v ever_o remain_v upon_o the_o day_n of_o s._n clare_n i_o go_v to_o receive_v the_o b._n sacrament_n she_o appear_v to_o i_o in_o very_o great_a beauty_n and_o bid_v i_o be_v of_o a_o good_a courage_n and_o go_v on_o in_o the_o work_n which_o i_o have_v begin_v and_o that_o she_o will_v assist_v i_o and_o this_o have_v prove_v so_o true_a that_o a_o monastery_n of_o religious_a woman_n of_o her_o order_n which_o be_v near_o this_o do_v help_n to_o sustain_v and_o feed_v we_o and_o which_o yet_o be_v more_o she_o have_v by_o little_a and_o little_a bring_v this_o desire_n of_o i_o to_o such_o perfection_n that_o the_o selfsame_a poverty_n which_o that_o bless_a saint_n establish_v in_o her_o house_n be_v exercise_v also_o in_o this_o and_o we_o live_v of_o alm_n which_o point_n have_v cost_v i_o no_o small_a trouble_n in_o get_v it_o confirm_v by_o his_o holiness_n and_o to_o be_v further_o also_o establish_v in_o such_o sort_n as_o that_o no_o innovation_n may_v be_v make_v not_o the_o house_n be_v ever_o capable_a of_o rent_n and_o now_o do_v our_o bless_a lord_n even_o more_o than_o this_o and_o perhaps_o the_o same_o may_v grow_v by_o the_o intercession_n of_o this_o bless_a saint_n for_o his_o divine_a majesty_n provide_v we_o with_o all_o thing_n necessary_a in_o most_o complete_a manner_n without_o our_o ever_o ask_v any_o thing_n of_o any_o creature_n let_v he_o be_v bless_v for_o all_o thing_n amen_n but_o i_o be_v about_o that_o time_n upon_o the_o day_n of_o the_o assumption_n of_o our_o b._n lady_n in_o a_o certain_a monastery_n of_o the_o glorious_a s._n dominick_n order_n i_o be_v consider_v the_o many_o sin_n of_o my_o former_a time_n which_o i_o have_v confess_v in_o that_o house_n and_o the_o accident_n of_o my_o wicked_a life_n and_o sudden_o there_o come_v so_o great_a a_o rapt_v upon_o i_o that_o it_o take_v i_o in_o effect_n whole_o out_o of_o myself_o i_o than_o sit_v down_o and_o yet_o it_o seem_v to_o i_o that_o i_o be_v not_o able_a either_o to_o hear_v mass_n or_o so_o much_o as_o to_o see_v the_o elevation_n for_o which_o i_o remain_v afterward_o with_o some_o scruple_n now_o it_o seem_v to_o i_o that_o
absorb_v by_o it_o for_o i_o go_v consider_v the_o greatness_n of_o almighty_a god_n and_o in_o how_o short_a a_o time_n he_o have_v sublime_v a_o soul_n to_o so_o admirable_a a_o state_n he_o put_v i_o to_o much_o confusion_n when_o i_o hear_v he_o give_v ear_n with_o so_o great_a humility_n to_o those_o thing_n which_o i_o will_v sometime_o be_v say_v to_o he_o concern_v prayer_n i_o who_o have_v so_o little_a to_o say_v thereof_o to_o such_o a_o person_n as_o he_o be_v but_o our_o lord_n be_v content_a to_o endure_v it_o through_o the_o earnest_n desire_v i_o have_v to_o see_v he_o a_o great_a proficient_a in_o that_o kind_n and_o it_o do_v i_o so_o much_o good_a to_o be_v with_o he_o that_o still_o he_o seem_v to_o inflame_v my_o soul_n with_o new_a fire_n and_o with_o new_a desire_n to_o serve_v our_o lord_n even_o as_o if_o i_o have_v be_v but_o then_o to_o begin_v o_o my_o dear_a jesus_n what_o thing_n be_v they_o which_o a_o soul_n can_v do_v when_o it_o be_v all_o inflame_v with_o thy_o love_n and_o we_o ought_v to_o esteem_v such_o a_o one_o very_o much_o and_o humble_o beseech_v our_o lord_n to_o let_v it_o continue_v long_o in_o this_o world_n for_o whosoever_o own_v the_o same_o kind_n of_o love_n shall_v follow_v such_o a_o kind_n of_o soul_n as_o fast_o as_o he_o can_v it_o be_v matter_n of_o much_o comfort_n to_o a_o sick_a man_n to_o find_v another_o who_o be_v touch_v and_o taint_v by_o the_o same_o disease_n for_o it_o serve_v he_o in_o the_o way_n of_o some_o consolation_n to_o see_v at_o least_o that_o he_o be_v not_o alone_o they_o help_v one_o another_o excellent_o well_o both_o to_o suffer_v and_o to_o merit_v they_o join_v back_o to_o back_o and_o so_o support_v and_o succour_v one_o another_o like_o valiant_a and_o resolve_v person_n to_o venture_v a_o thousand_o life_n for_o the_o love_n of_o almighty_a god_n and_o they_o aspire_v to_o no_o other_o happiness_n then_o to_o meet_v with_o some_o such_o occasion_n as_o wherein_o they_o may_v offer_v themselves_o in_o sacrifice_n for_o his_o service_n they_o be_v like_o gallant_a soldier_n who_o to_o the_o end_n that_o they_o may_v gain_v the_o spoil_n of_o their_o enemy_n and_o so_o grow_v rich_a by_o that_o mean_n desire_n that_o there_o may_v still_o be_v war_n as_o understand_v that_o there_o be_v no_o way_n for_o they_o to_o thrive_v but_o by_o that_o mean_n for_o it_o be_v no_o less_o than_o their_o very_a occupation_n to_o labour_v and_o to_o suffer_v o_o what_o a_o great_a thing_n it_o be_v when_o out_o lord_n give_v light_a to_o know_v how_o much_o be_v gain_v by_o suffer_v for_o he_o this_o point_n be_v not_o understand_v well_o and_o home_n till_o all_o be_v give_v over_o and_o leave_v for_o whosoever_o keep_v any_o thing_n to_o himself_o give_v a_o sign_n that_o he_o esteem_v it_o to_o be_v worth_a somewhat_o and_o if_o he_o esteem_v it_o worth_a somewhat_o it_o will_v be_v necessary_a for_o he_o to_o be_v sorry_a to_o leave_v it_o but_o now_o here_o all_o be_v imperfect_a yea_o and_o even_o lose_v and_o here_o come_v the_o proverb_n well_o in_o that_o he_o be_v a_o kind_n of_o lose_a man_n who_o look_v after_o that_o which_o be_v lose_v and_o what_o great_a loss_n and_o perdition_n what_o great_a blindness_n what_o great_a misery_n and_o misfortune_n can_v there_o be_v then_o to_o put_v a_o great_a value_n upon_o that_o which_o be_v absolute_o worth_n nothing_o at_o all_o but_o to_o return_v to_o what_o i_o be_v say_v when_o i_o be_v extreme_o joy_v by_o consider_v the_o soul_n of_o that_o man_n wherein_o it_o seem_v that_o our_o bless_a lord_n be_v dispose_v that_o i_o shall_v clear_o see_v those_o treasure_n which_o he_o have_v depositate_v therein_o and_o discern_v also_o the_o high_a favour_n which_o he_o vouchsafe_v to_o do_v i_o in_o regard_n that_o it_o have_v happen_v by_o my_o mean_n i_o find_v myself_o very_o unworthy_a of_o it_o but_o withal_o i_o hold_v those_o favour_n which_o our_o lord_n have_v be_v please_v to_o do_v he_o in_o a_o much_o high_a kind_n of_o account_n then_o if_o he_o have_v vouchsafe_v they_o to_o myself_o and_o i_o pay_v our_o lord_n a_o abundance_n of_o praise_n to_o see_v that_o his_o divine_a majesty_n go_v so_o fulfil_v my_o desire_n and_o vouchsafe_v to_o hear_v my_o prayer_n which_o be_v that_o he_o will_v vouchsafe_v to_o stirre-up_a such_o kind_n of_o person_n to_o his_o faithful_a service_n and_o my_o soul_n be_v then_o in_o such_o condition_n as_o that_o it_o can_v no_o long_o bear_v so_o greatioy_v she_o go_v direct_o out_o of_o herself_o and_o lose_v her_o very_a self_n to_o be_v the_o great_a gainer_n by_o it_o she_o lose_v i_o say_v those_o cogitation_n and_o consideration_n and_o the_o hear_n of_o that_o divine_a tongue_n in_o which_o the_o holie-ghost_n seem_v to_o speak_v and_o then_o i_o fall_v into_o a_o great_a rapt_v which_o make_v i_o at_o it_o be_v forgo_v the_o use_n of_o my_o sense_n though_o it_o last_v but_o a_o very_a little_a while_n i_o see_v christ_n our_o lord_n with_o a_o excessive_a kind_n of_o majesty_n and_o glory_n express_v much_o contentment_n in_o that_o which_o pass_v there_o and_o so_o himself_o be_v please_v to_o tell_v i_o as_o also_o that_o i_o may_v see_v very_o clear_o that_o he_o love_v to_o be_v ever_o present_a at_o such_o discourse_n and_o how_o much_o he_o esteem_v himself_o to_o be_v serve_v in_o that_o man_n take_v such_o delight_n to_o speak_v of_o he_o another_o time_n when_o i_o be_v far_o off_o from_o hence_o i_o see_v he_o liftedup_a by_o angel_n with_o much_o glory_n and_o i_o understand_v by_o this_o vision_n that_o his_o soul_n be_v advance_v apace_o but_o so_o it_o be_v that_o a_o certain_a person_n in_o the_o world_n to_o who_o he_o have_v do_v much_o good_a and_o repair_v some_o breach_n in_o his_o reputation_n and_o give_v also_o comfort_n to_o his_o soul_n do_v yet_o raise_v a_o great_a false_a testimony_n against_o the_o honour_n of_o this_o holy_a man_n and_o he_o endure_v it_o with_o much_o contentment_n as_o he_o also_o do_v other_o persecution_n and_o perform_v many_o action_n which_o be_v great_o for_o the_o service_n of_o almighty_a god_n me_n think_v it_o be_v not_o fit_a to_o declare_v more_o of_o these_o thing_n at_o this_o present_a if_o afterward_o your_o reverence_n shall_v think_v otherwise_o because_o yourself_o know_v what_o they_o be_v already_o they_o may_v also_o be_v set_v down_o here_o for_o the_o glory_n of_o almighty_a god_n but_o now_o of_o all_o these_o thing_n which_o i_o have_v deliver_v about_o the_o prophecy_n concern_v this_o house_n and_o of_o other_o which_o i_o shall_v also_o relate_v as_o also_o of_o several_a instance_n in_o different_a kind_n they_o be_v all_o accomplish_a and_o fulfil_v about_o a_o matter_n of_o some_o three_o year_n before_o they_o be_v know_v some_o more_o and_o some_o less_o as_o our_o lord_n have_v declare_v they_o to_o i_o and_o i_o ever_o tell_v they_o over_o to_o my_o ghostly_a father_n and_o to_o this_o widow_n my_o friend_n to_o who_o i_o have_v leave_v to_o impart_v they_o as_o i_o have_v say_v and_o i_o understand_v that_o she_o tell_v they_o yet_o to_o other_o and_o they_o all_o know_v well_o that_o i_o lie_v not_o nor_o will_v almighty_a god_n i_o hope_v permit_v i_o to_o be_v ever_o so_o miserable_a as_o in_o any_o thing_n to_o speak_v other_o than_o truth_n and_o much_o less_o when_o it_o concern_v thing_n of_o such_o importance_n but_o a_o brother-in-law_n of_o i_o die_v sudden_o and_o i_o be_v much_o trouble_v at_o it_o because_o he_o have_v not_o have_v time_n to_o confess_v before_o it_o be_v tell_v i_o in_o my_o prayer_n that_o my_o sister_n will_v also_o die_v after_o that_o manner_n and_o therefore_o that_o i_o shall_v go_v thither_o and_o procure_v to_o dispose_v she_o to_o die_v well_o i_o tell_v this_o to_o my_o ghostly_a father_n and_o he_o not_o permit_v i_o to_o go_v i_o hear_v the_o selfsame_a thing_n again_o and_o again_o but_o when_o now_o i_o tell_v he_o thus_o much_o he_o will_v i_o to_o go_v and_o say_v that_o nothing_o will_v be_v lose_v by_o the_o bargain_n this_o sister_n of_o i_o be_v at_o a_o house_n of_o she_o in_o the_o country_n &_o i_o go_v thither_o to_o visit_v she_o without_o tell_v she_o of_o the_o particular_a cause_n i_o give_v she_o the_o best_a light_n i_o can_v concern_v all_o thing_n and_o i_o persuade_v she_o to_o go_v often_o to_o confession_n and_o in_o all_o thing_n to_o keep_v the_o account_n of_o her_o conscience_n very_o right_a &_o straight_o as_o for_o she_o she_o be_v a_o very_a virtuous_a woman_n and_o do_v as_o she_o be_v
desire_v for_o four_o or_o five_o year_n together_o before_o her_o end_n and_o then_o she_o die_v upon_o a_o sudden_a without_o be_v so_o much_o as_o visit_v and_o much_o less_o confess_v but_o the_o happiness_n be_v that_o according_a to_o the_o custom_n which_o she_o have_v hold_v there_o be_v little_o more_o than_o eight_o day_n expire_v after_o her_o last_o confession_n this_o make_v i_o a_o very_a glad_a woman_n when_o i_o know_v of_o her_o death_n and_o she_o stay_v a_o very_a short_a time_n in_o purgatory_n nor_o be_v it_o yet_o above_o eight_o day_n since_o our_o lord_n appear_v to_o i_o after_o i_o have_v receive_v the_o bless_a sacrament_n and_o be_v please_v to_o let_v i_o see_v how_o he_o carry_v my_o sister_n soul_n into_o glory_n in_o all_o these_o year_n from_o the_o time_n when_o the_o particular_a concern_v she_o be_v tell_v i_o till_o her_o very_a death_n i_o forget_v not_o that_o which_o have_v be_v give_v i_o to_o be_v understand_v concern_v she_o as_o neither_o also_o do_v my_o companion_n for_o as_o soon_o as_o she_o have_v hear_v of_o my_o sister_n death_n she_o come_v towards_o i_o with_o much_o admiration_n to_o see_v how_o all_o have_v be_v fulfil_v let_v our_o lord_n be_v praise_v for_o ever_o who_o vouchsafe_v to_o take_v such_o care_n of_o soul_n to_o the_o end_n that_o they_o may_v not_o perish_v amen_n the_o five_o and_o thirty_o chapter_n she_o prosecute_v the_o same_o discourse_n about_o the_o foundation_n of_o this_o house_n of_o our_o glorious_a father_n s._n joseph_n she_o speak_v of_o the_o degree_n by_o which_o our_o lord_n come_v to_o appoint_v that_o holy_a poverty_n shall_v be_v ordain_v there_o and_o of_o the_o cause_n why_o she_o come_v from_o that_o lady_n with_o who_o she_o be_v and_o of_o other_o thing_n also_o which_o succeed_v but_o now_o whilst_o i_o be_v with_o that_o lady_n of_o who_o i_o have_v speak_v and_o with_o who_o i_o have_v remain_v more_o than_o half_a a_o year_n our_o lord_n do_v so_o ordain_v that_o a_o certain_a holy_a woman_n of_o our_o order_n fall_v out_o to_o come_v from_o a_o place_n which_o be_v no_o less_o than_o threescore_o and_o then_o league_n off_o from_o this_o and_o to_o arrive_v here_o and_o to_o lengthen_v her_o way_n by_o some_o league_n on_o purpose_n to_o speak_v with_o i_o our_o lord_n have_v move_v she_o to_o this_o in_o the_o selfsame_a year_n when_o he_o move_v i_o to_o make_v another_o monastery_n of_o this_o order_n and_o as_o soon_o as_o she_o have_v entertain_v this_o desire_n she_o sell_v whatsoever_o she_o possess_v and_o go_v herself_o barefoot_a to_o rome_n to_o get_v and_o bring-away_a the_o dispatch_n of_o this_o business_n this_o woman_n be_v a_o person_n of_o much_o penance_n and_o prayer_n and_o our_o lord_n do_v she_o many_o favour_n and_o our_o b._n lady_n appear_v to_o she_o and_o require_v she_o still_o to_o do_v what_o she_o be_v do_v and_o she_o serve_v our_o bless_a lord_n so_o incomparable_o beyond_o any_o thing_n that_o i_o can_v do_v that_o i_o be_v in_o confusion_n even_o to_o appear_v in_o her_o presence_n she_o show_v i_o the_o dispatch_n which_o she_o bring_v from_o rome_n and_o in_o those_o fifteen_o day_n which_o she_o stay_v with_o i_o we_o take_v order_n how_o we_o will_v make_v these_o monastery_n and_o till_o i_o have_v speak_v with_o she_o it_o never_o have_v come_v to_o my_o knowledge_n that_o our_o rule_n till_o it_o be_v relax_v do_v ever_o command_v that_o none_o of_o the_o religious_a house_n of_o our_o order_n shall_v have_v any_o propriety_n in_o any_o good_n nor_o have_v myself_o have_v any_o purpose_n to_o find_v any_o monastery_n at_o all_o without_o revenue_n for_o my_o intention_n be_v that_o we_o shall_v be_v free_a from_o the_o care_n of_o procure_v any_o such_o thing_n as_o we_o may_v be_v in_o necessity_n to_o use_v but_o this_o bless_a woman_n have_v be_v instruct_v by_o our_o lord_n be_v grow_v to_o understand_v that_o truth_n very_o well_o without_o be_v able_a so_o much_o as_o to_o read_v of_o which_o truth_n i_o be_v ignorant_a even_o after_o have_v take_v so_o much_o pain_n to_o read_v over_o the_o constitution_n of_o our_o order_n and_o as_o soon_o as_o she_o acquaint_v i_o with_o her_o purpose_n i_o like_v it_o well_o though_o yet_o i_o be_v afraid_a that_o it_o will_v not_o be_v yield_v to_o but_o that_o they_o will_v say_v perhaps_o that_o these_o be_v but_o impertinency_n and_o wish_v that_o i_o will_v not_o do_v any_o thing_n whereby_o other_o may_v be_v put_v to_o suffer_v through_o my_o fault_n though_o yet_o in_o very_a deed_n if_o i_o have_v be_v alone_o i_o will_v not_o have_v be_v detain_v one_o minute_n from_o do_v it_o since_o it_o will_v be_v a_o regalo_n to_o my_o soul_n to_o observe_v &_o follow_v the_o counsel_n of_o jesus-christ_n our_o lord_n for_o real_o his_o divine_a majesty_n have_v already_o give_v i_o great_a desire_n to_o observe_v poverty_n so_o that_o for_o my_o part_n i_o make_v no_o doubt_n but_o that_o this_o be_v best_a yea_o and_o i_o have_v long_o desire_v that_o it_o may_v be_v possible_a and_o compatible_a with_o my_o state_n that_o i_o may_v go_v beg_v my_o bread_n for_o the_o love_n of_o god_n without_o have_v so_o much_o as_o a_o house_n or_o any_o thing_n else_o but_o only_o i_o be_v in_o fear_n that_o if_o our_o bless_a lord_n shall_v not_o give_v the_o selfsame_a desire_n to_o other_o which_o he_o give_v to_o i_o they_o will_v live_v perhaps_o with_o disgust_n and_o consequent_o that_o it_o may_v prove_v a_o cause_n of_o some_o distraction_n or_o division_n for_o i_o see_v that_o there_o be_v some_o poor_a monastery_n which_o live_v not_o with_o much_o recollection_n and_o i_o consider_v not_o that_o their_o not_o be_v recollect_v be_v the_o cause_n of_o their_o be_v so_o poor_a and_o not_o their_o poverty_n the_o cause_n of_o their_o want_n of_o recollection_n for_o distraction_n make_v they_o not_o more_o rich_a nor_o be_v ever_o almighty_a god_n want_v to_o such_o as_o serve_v he_o in_o fine_a my_o faith_n be_v weak_a which_o that_o of_o this_o servant_n of_o god_n be_v not_o but_o now_o i_o who_o will_v be_v take_v the_o opinion_n of_o so_o many_o person_n for_o every_o thing_n which_o i_o be_v to_o do_v can_v find_v no_o body_n of_o this_o mind_n no_o nor_o even_o my_o ghostly_a father_n himself_o nor_o yet_o those_o other_o learned_a man_n who_o i_o consult_v in_o the_o case_n but_o they_o bring_v i_o so_o many_o reason_n against_o it_o that_o i_o know_v not_o which_o way_n to_o turn_v myself_o for_o i_o for_o my_o part_n who_o know_v already_o that_o it_o be_v the_o rule_n of_o the_o order_n and_o know_v also_o that_o it_o be_v a_o point_n of_o more_o perfection_n can_v not_o persuade_v myself_o to_o have_v revenue_n and_o though_o sometime_o they_o convince_v i_o towards_o their_o opinion_n yet_o still_o when_o i_o return_v to_o prayer_n and_o consider_v christ_n our_o lord_n so_o very_o poor_a and_o naked_a upon_o the_o cross_n i_o be_v not_o able_a so_o much_o as_o to_o find_v patience_n for_o be_v rich_a but_o i_o humble_o beseech_v he_o with_o tear_n to_o ordain_v thing_n in_o such_o sort_n that_o i_o may_v be_v poor_a like_v he_o and_o i_o find_v so_o many_o inconvenience_n even_o in_o have_v revenue_n and_o find_v it_o to_o be_v so_o great_a a_o cause_n of_o disquiet_n yea_o and_o even_o of_o distraction_n also_o that_o i_o do_v nothing_o but_o dispute_v the_o business_n with_o those_o learned_a man_n i_o write_v also_o about_o it_o to_o that_o religious_a man_n of_o s._n dominick_n order_n who_o assist_v we_o and_o he_o send_v i_o two_o sheet_n of_o paper_n which_o he_o have_v write_v by_o way_n of_o contradiction_n to_o i_o and_o he_o ground_v himself_o in_o theology_n for_o the_o persuade_v i_o not_o to_o do_v it_o yea_o and_o he_o tell_v i_o that_o he_o have_v study_v the_o point_n very_o well_o to_o which_o i_o answer_v he_o that_o for_o not_o follow_v my_o vocation_n and_o for_o not_o perform_v the_o vow_n which_o i_o have_v make_v of_o poverty_n and_o embrace_v the_o counsel_n of_o christ_n our_o lord_n in_o all_o perfection_n i_o mean_v not_o to_o make_v use_n of_o his_o theology_n nor_o of_o his_o learning_n and_o therefore_o that_o in_o this_o case_n he_o may_v be_v please_v to_o excuse_v i_o for_o my_o part_n i_o be_v very_o glad_a when_o i_o find_v any_o creature_n who_o will_v help_v i_o and_o the_o lady_n with_o who_o i_o be_v assist_v i_o particular_o herein_o there_o be_v other_o also_o who_o tell_v i_o instant_o at_o the_o first_o that_o they_o like_v it_o well_o but_o afterward_o when_o they_o consider_v it_o better_o they_o
ruin_n if_o he_o love_v thou_o and_o not_o the_o thing_n of_o this_o world_n such_o a_o one_o walk_v by_o the_o valley_n of_o humility_n nor_o be_o i_o able_a to_o understand_v why_o any_o creature_n shall_v be_v afraid_a to_o put_v himself_o into_o this_o way_n of_o perfection_n and_o i_o beseech_v our_o bless_a lord_n even_o by_o what_o he_o be_v that_o he_o will_v give_v we_o right_o to_o understand_v how_o ill_o that_o security_n be_v which_o we_o look_v for_o in_o the_o midst_n of_o such_o manifest_a danger_n as_o where_o one_o be_v to_o be_v still_o trudge_v on_o in_o the_o rank_n and_o row_v of_o the_o world_n and_o that_o we_o may_v believe_v our_o true_a security_n and_o safety_n to_o consist_v in_o our_o procure_n to_o be_v still_o go_v on_o in_o the_o way_n of_o do_v service_n to_o almighty_a god_n away_o away_o let_v we_o all_o fix_v our_o eye_n upon_o he_o and_o let_v we_o not_o have_v any_o fear_n that_o this_o sun_n of_o justice_n will_v set_v or_o ever_o permit_v we_o to_o walk_v in_o such_o sort_n by_o night_n as_o that_o we_o may_v grow_v to_o be_v lose_v unless_o we_o first_o resolve_v to_o leave_v he_o nor_o let_v we_o fear_v to_o walk_v even_o in_o the_o midst_n of_o lion_n of_o who_o every_o one_o seem_v greedy_a to_o be_v carryingaway_o his_o several_a piece_n and_o these_o be_v certain_a thing_n which_o the_o world_n be_v wont_a to_o call_v by_o the_o name_n of_o honour_n and_o great_a estate_n and_o delight_n and_o the_o devil_n on_o the_o other_o side_n seem_v also_o willing_a here_o to_o fright_v we_o with_o certain_a frivolous_a toy_n a_o be_v thousand_o time_n over_o i_o be_o amaze_v and_o ten_o thousand_o time_n will_v i_o desire_v even_o to_o dissolve_v myself_o with_o pour_v forth_o my_o tear_n &_o to_o cry-out_a to_o the_o whole_a world_n all_o at_o once_o to_o proclaim_v my_o own_o great_a wickedness_n and_o blindness_n so_o to_o try_v if_o that_o may_v do_v any_o good_a towards_o the_o make_n man_n at_o last_o open_v their_o eye_n let_v he_o open_v they_o through_o his_o own_o infinite_a goodness_n who_o know_v how_o to_o do_v it_o and_o not_o permit_v that_o ever_o i_o may_v turn_v blind_a again_o amen_n the_o six_o and_o thirty_o chapter_n she_o prosecute_v the_o subject_n which_o she_o have_v begin_v and_o declare_v the_o final_a conclusion_n of_o the_o foundation_n of_o this_o monastery_n of_o the_o glorious_a s._n joseph_n of_o auila_n and_o of_o the_o great_a contradiction_n and_o persecution_n which_o the_o religious_a woman_n be_v put_v to_o suffer_v even_o after_o they_o have_v take_v the_o habit_n and_o of_o the_o many_o trouble_n and_o temptation_n which_o she_o be_v fain_o to_o undergo_v and_o how_o his_o divine_a majesty_n draw_v she_o out_o of_o all_o with_o victory_n to_o his_o own_o praise_n and_o glory_n be_v part_v from_o that_o city_n where_o i_o be_v i_o pass_v with_o much_o contentment_n by_o the_o way_n resolve_v to_o undertake_v and_o go_v through_o with_o all_o thing_n which_o our_o lord_n shall_v be_v please_v to_o lay_v upon_o i_o and_o that_o with_o a_o most_o frank_a and_o entire_a submission_n of_o my_o whole_a hart_n now_o the_o self-same_a night_n when_o i_o arrive_v at_o auila_n our_o dispatch_n with_o the_o breve_fw-la from_o rome_n arrive_v also_o there_o so_o that_o i_o be_v amaze_v at_o it_o and_o so_o also_o be_v all_o they_o who_o know_v of_o the_o haste_n wherewith_o our_o lord_n have_v solicit_v i_o to_o come_v away_o when_o they_o also_o know_v withal_o the_o great_a necessity_n which_o there_o be_v thereof_o and_o the_o coniuncture_n also_o otherwise_o which_o appear_v then_o for_o i_o find_v the_o bishop_n there_o and_o that_o holy_a man_n fray_n pedro_n de_fw-fr alcantara_n and_o a_o certain_a cavalier_n also_o a_o very_a great_a servant_n of_o our_o lord_n in_o who_o house_n that_o holy_a man_n fray_n pedro_n be_v lodge_v for_o that_o cavalier_n be_v a_o person_n with_o who_o general_o the_o servant_n of_o almighty_a god_n be_v ever_o wont_a to_o find_v a_o safe_a retreat_n now_o both_o those_o person_n join_v together_o obtain_v so_o much_o at_o the_o bishop_n hand_n as_o that_o he_o be_v content_a to_o admit_v of_o the_o monastery_n which_o be_v not_o a_o thing_n of_o small_a importance_n consider_v that_o it_o must_v live_v upon_o alm_n but_o the_o bishop_n be_v real_o a_o friend_n to_o such_o as_o be_v indeed_o resolve_v to_o serve_v our_o lord_n for_o instant_o he_o will_v apply_v himself_o to_o do_v they_o favour_n but_o the_o approbation_n of_o that_o holy_a old_a man_n and_o his_o deal_n earnest_o with_o several_a person_n to_o assist_v we_o be_v the_o thing_n which_o make_v a_o end_n of_o the_o work_n if_o i_o have_v not_o chance_v to_o arrive_v in_o this_o very_a coniuncture_n as_o i_o have_v say_v i_o know_v not_o how_o the_o besines_n can_v possible_o have_v be_v dispatch_v for_o this_o holy_a man_n stay_v a_o very_a little_a while_n here_o and_o i_o think_v not_o above_o eight_o day_n and_o even_o then_o he_o be_v very_o ill_a at_o ease_n and_o short_o after_o that_o time_n our_o lord_n take_v he_o out_o of_o the_o world_n to_o himself_o and_o it_o seem_v indeed_o that_o his_o divine_a majesty_n have_v preserve_v he_o in_o this_o world_n till_o just_a this_o business_n may_v be_v dispatch_v for_o it_o have_v be_v long_o that_o be_v i_o think_v a_o matter_n of_o two_o year_n since_o he_o have_v be_v very_o ill_o in_o point_n of_o health_n but_o all_o that_o which_o they_o resolve_v now_o be_v to_o be_v govern_v with_o a_o great_a deal_n of_o secrecy_n for_o else_o nothing_o will_v have_v take_v effect_n so_o ill_o be_v the_o people_n conceit_v of_o it_o as_o appear_v afterward_o now_o our_o lord_n dispose_v thing_n so_o that_o a_o brother-in-law_n of_o i_o shall_v be_v sick_a at_o that_o very_a time_n and_o that_o his_o wife_n shall_v not_o be_v here_o but_o that_o he_o must_v be_v in_o so_o very_o great_a need_n of_o help_n that_o they_o give_v i_o leave_v to_o go_v and_o be_v with_o he_o and_o so_o by_o occasion_n of_o that_o there_o be_v nothing_o know_v howsoever_o somewhat_o grow_v to_o be_v suspect_v concern_v some_o person_n though_o yet_o it_o be_v not_o full_o believe_v and_o it_o be_v a_o thing_n to_o make_v man_n wonder_v how_o my_o brother-in-law_n continue_v no_o long_o sick_a then_o seem_v to_o be_v just_a necessary_a for_o our_o business_n and_o shall_v recover_v his_o health_n just_a as_o soon_o as_o it_o be_v fit_a to_o the_o end_n that_o so_o both_o i_o may_v be_v disengage_v and_o he_o may_v leave_v his_o house_n free_a but_o our_o lord_n as_o i_o be_v say_v do_v instant_o restore_v his_o health_n at_o which_o the_o patient_n be_v in_o wonder_n yet_o even_o then_o have_v i_o difficulty_n enough_o to_o procure_v by_o mean_n of_o many_o different_a person_n to_o make_v they_o give_v way_n that_o the_o business_n may_v go_v forward_o and_o both_o with_o the_o sick_a man_n and_o with_o the_o workman_n that_o the_o house_n may_v be_v finish_v out_o of_o hand_n and_o be_v put_v into_o the_o form_n of_o a_o monastery_n for_o there_o be_v very_o much_o of_o it_o unfinished_a at_o that_o time_n and_o my_o companion_n be_v then_o not_o here_o for_o we_o hold_v it_o indeed_o more_o convenient_a that_o she_o shall_v be_v absent_a for_o the_o better_a hide_v of_o the_o business_n and_o i_o see_v that_o it_o be_v of_o extreme_a importance_n that_o all_o shall_v be_v dispatch_v with_o diligence_n for_o many_o reason_n and_o for_o this_o among_o the_o rest_n because_o it_o be_v fear_v every_o hour_n that_o they_o will_v send_v i_o away_o in_o the_o mean_a time_n i_o have_v so_o many_o occasion_n of_o vexation_n and_o trouble_v that_o i_o may_v have_v cause_n to_o doubt_v whether_o this_o be_v not_o that_o cross_n whereof_o i_o be_v warn_v though_o on_o the_o other_o side_n it_o seem_v that_o this_o be_v but_o a_o little_a one_o in_o comparison_n of_o that_o other_o great_a cross_n which_o our_o lord_n have_v former_o say_v that_o i_o be_v to_o bear_v but_o yet_o all_o be_v now_o conclude_v our_o lord_n be_v please_v that_o some_o shall_v take_v the_o habit_n upon_o s._n bartholomews_n day_n at_o which_o time_n the_o b._n sacrament_n be_v expose_v with_o all_o the_o solemnity_n and_o devotion_n which_o we_o can_v possible_o use_v and_o so_o the_o monastery_n of_o our_o most_o glorious_a father_n s._n joseph_n fall_v out_o to_o be_v erect_v and_o make_v in_o the_o year_n of_o our_o lord_n god_n one_o thousand_o five_o hundred_o seventy_o two_o and_o it_o come_v then_o to_o my_o turn_n together_o with_o two_o other_o of_o our_o former_a monastery_n who_o by_o accident_n be_v abroad_o at_o
that_o time_n to_o give_v they_o the_o habit._n but_o now_o since_o the_o house_n where_o the_o monastery_n fall_v out_o to_o be_v make_v be_v that_o wherein_o my_o brother-in-law_n have_v dwell_v before_o for_o he_o as_o i_o say_v have_v buy_v it_o the_o better_a to_o disguise_v this_o business_n i_o have_v leave_v to_o stay_v there_o and_o i_o do_v nothing_o at_o all_o but_o by_o the_o opinion_n of_o learned_a man_n that_o so_o i_o may_v be_v sure_a not_o to_o depart_v one_o hair_n breadth_n from_o my_o obedience_n and_o when_o they_o see_v that_o the_o thing_n be_v to_o be_v so_o advantageous_a to_o the_o whole_a order_n in_o many_o respect_n they_o tell_v i_o i_o may_v do_v as_o i_o do_v though_o yet_o it_o be_v fit_a to_o proceed_v with_o great_a reservation_n and_o secrecy_n and_o to_o take_v care_n that_o my_o superior_n may_v not_o know_v what_o i_o be_v do_v for_o how_o little_a soever_o the_o imperfection_n have_v be_v which_o i_o must_v have_v commit_v therein_o i_o conceive_v that_o i_o will_v have_v given-ove_a the_o erect_n i_o say_v not_o of_o one_o monastery_n but_o of_o a_o thousand_o rather_o than_o have_v fall_v into_o it_o and_o this_o be_v certain_a and_o though_o i_o desire_v to_o sever_v myself_o whole_o from_o the_o world_n that_o so_o i_o may_v follow_v my_o profession_n and_o call_v with_o more_o perfection_n and_o clausure_n i_o desire_v it_o yet_o in_o such_o sort_n as_o that_o whensoever_o i_o shall_v come_v to_o understand_v that_o it_o be_v to_o be_v for_o the_o great_a service_n of_o almighty_a god_n to_o give_v it_o over_o i_o will_v instant_o have_v be_v sure_a to_o do_v it_o with_o entire_a peace_n and_o repose_v but_o the_o while_n it_o be_v a_o kind_n of_o be_v even_o in_o glory_n for_o i_o to_o see_v the_o b._n sacrament_n expose_v and_o that_o four_o poor_a poor_a orphan_n be_v provide_v for_o since_o they_o be_v take_v without_o dowry_n and_o they_o be_v very_o great_a servant_n of_o almighty_a god_n for_o this_o be_v much_o endeavour_v at_o the_o begin_n that_o such_o person_n shall_v enter_v and_o be_v receive_v as_o may_v lay_v a_o good_a foundation_n by_o their_o example_n for_o the_o better_a effect_v the_o intention_n and_o design_n which_o we_o have_v to_o carry_v all_o thing_n on_o with_o much_o perfection_n and_o prayer_n and_o that_o such_o a_o work_n in_o fine_a may_v be_v finish_v as_o be_v to_o prove_v for_o the_o service_n of_o our_o bless_a lord_n and_o in_o honour_n of_o the_o habit_n of_o his_o glorious_a mother_n for_o upon_o this_o do_v all_o the_o anxiety_n of_o my_o care_n work_n and_o beat_v and_o it_o give_v i_o also_o great_a comfort_n to_o have_v do_v express_o that_o which_o our_o bless_a lord_n have_v be_v please_v to_o command_v i_o and_o that_o there_o may_v be_v one_o church_n more_o and_o the_o same_o be_v dedicate_v under_o the_o name_n of_o my_o glorious_a father_n s._n joseph_n then_o there_o be_v before_o not_o yet_o that_o i_o conceive_v myself_o to_o have_v do_v any_o thing_n in_o it_o at_o all_o for_o i_o never_o have_v any_o such_o conceit_n neither_o have_v i_o yet_o but_o i_o ever_o understand_v that_o it_o be_v our_o bless_a lord_n who_o do_v it_o and_o that_o as_o much_o as_o concern_v my_o part_n be_v accompany_v with_o so_o great_a imperfection_n that_o i_o rather_o plain_o see_v that_o there_o be_v much_o more_o for_o which_o to_o blame_v i_o then_o to_o thank_v i_o but_o yet_o i_o must_v confess_v that_o it_o go_v with_o i_o for_o a_o great_a regalo_n to_o see_v that_o his_o divine_a majesty_n be_v please_v to_o use_v i_o as_o a_o instrument_n i_o be_v so_o very_o wicked_a as_o i_o be_o for_o so_o great_a a_o work_n as_o this_o so_o that_o in_o fine_a i_o remain_v with_o much_o satisfaction_n and_o gust_n in_o this_o behalf_n and_o as_o it_o be_v even_o out_o of_o myself_o in_o great_a depth_n of_o prayer_n but_o now_o upon_o the_o end_n of_o all_o this_o which_o may_v last_o about_o some_o three_o or_o four_o hour_n the_o devil_n procure_v to_o give_v i_o such_o a_o kind_n of_o spiritual_a battle_n as_o i_o will_v now_o declare_v he_o himself_o represent_v to_o i_o a_o doubt_n whether_o that_o which_o i_o have_v do_v have_v be_v well_o do_v whether_o i_o have_v not_o go_v against_o my_o obligation_n of_o obedience_n by_o procure_v to_o effect_v certain_a thing_n without_o have_v be_v direct_v therein_o by_o my_o provincial_n that_o i_o may_v very_o well_o imagine_v that_o my_o carriage_n have_v be_v of_o disgust_n to_o he_o in_o regard_n that_o i_o have_v submit_v the_o business_n to_o the_o ordinary_a and_o that_o without_o have_v acquaint_v he_o with_o it_o before_o though_o yet_o on_o the_o other_o side_n it_o be_v true_a that_o when_o he_o will_v not_o admit_v of_o the_o foundation_n and_o see_v that_o i_o do_v not_o alter_v my_o course_n i_o may_v probable_o enough_o imagine_v that_o he_o will_v not_o care_n much_o though_o it_o go_v on_o and_o whether_o these_o new_a religious_a will_v be_v content_a to_o live_v in_o so_o great_a restraint_n whether_o they_o be_v not_o to_o want_v bread_n to_o eat_v whether_o the_o whole_a business_n be_v not_o a_o absurd_a and_o foolish_a thing_n and_o who_o in_o fine_a must_v put_v i_o upon_o it_o since_o already_o i_o have_v a_o monastery_n of_o my_o own_o but_o now_o all_o that_o which_o our_o bless_a lord_n have_v command_v i_o and_o all_o those_o opinion_n of_o the_o learned_a man_n who_o i_o have_v consult_v and_o all_o the_o prayer_n which_o i_o have_v cause_v to_o be_v make_v and_o that_o in_o effect_n without_o cease_v yea_o and_o also_o for_o the_o space_n of_o more_o than_o two_o whole_a year_n all_o this_o i_o say_v be_v as_o absolute_o slip_v out_o of_o my_o memory_n as_o if_o it_o have_v never_o be_v there_o and_o i_o only_o remember_v now_o that_o i_o do_v it_o according_a to_o my_o own_o opinion_n but_o all_o the_o virtue_n and_o faith_n which_o i_o have_v before_o be_v suspend_v in_o i_o then_o without_o my_o have_a strength_n either_o to_o act_v any_o thing_n or_o even_o so_o much_o as_o to_o defend_v myself_o against_o so_o many_o assault_n the_o devil_n be_v also_o tamper_n with_o i_o and_o examine_v i_o how_o it_o come_v to_o pass_v that_o i_o will_v needs_o go_v shut_v myself_o up_o in_o so_o straight_o a_o house_n and_o that_o with_o so_o many_o infirmity_n upon_o my_o back_n and_o how_o i_o will_v be_v able_a to_o undergo_v so_o great_a penance_n and_o give_v over_o to_o live_v in_o so_o goodly_a and_o delightful_a a_o place_n as_o the_o other_o be_v where_o i_o have_v always_o have_v so_o much_o gust_n and_o so_o many_o friend_n and_o perhaps_o these_o other_o will_v not_o prove_v so_o that_o i_o have_v take_v very_o much_o upon_o i_o that_o perhaps_o it_o will_v cost_v i_o despair_v at_o the_o last_o that_o the_o devil_n have_v pretend_v but_o to_o deprive_v i_o of_o repose_n and_o peace_n that_o so_o i_o may_v not_o be_v able_a to_o frequent_v prayer_n and_o to_o make_v i_o grow_v disorder_v and_o disturb_v and_o so_o by_o those_o degree_n to_o loose_v my_o soul_n such_o thing_n as_o these_o assemble_v in_o such_o sort_n as_o i_o have_v relate_v do_v the_o devil_n take_v care_n to_o set_v before_o i_o and_o so_o as_o that_o it_o be_v not_o almost_o in_o my_o power_n so_o much_o as_o once_o to_o think_v of_o any_o thing_n else_o and_o by_o this_o mean_n do_v he_o bring_v such_o a_o affliction_n and_o obscurity_n or_o rather_o downright_a darkness_n upon_o my_o hart_n as_o i_o be_o not_o able_a to_o express_v but_o now_o when_o i_o find_v myself_o to_o be_v in_o this_o case_n i_o go_v to_o visit_v the_o bless_a sacrament_n though_o yet_o i_o be_v not_o able_a to_o recommend_v my_o soul_n to_o it_o as_o find_v myself_o in_o my_o opinion_n with_o a_o certain_a kind_n of_o profound_a affliction_n as_o if_o then_o i_o have_v be_v in_o no_o less_o than_o the_o very_a agony_n of_o death_n to_o treat_v with_o any_o body_n about_o it_o i_o be_v not_o yet_o to_o presume_v for_o there_o be_v not_o yet_o so_o much_o as_o a_o ghostly_a father_n appoint_v for_o i_o o_o my_o dear_a lord_n what_o a_o miserable_a kind_n of_o life_n be_v this_o which_o we_o lead_v where_o there_o be_v no_o secure_a contentment_n nor_o any_o thing_n which_o be_v not_o subject_a to_o change_v it_o thus_o be_v so_o very_o very_o late_o that_o i_o think_v i_o will_v not_o have_v exchange_v my_o condition_n in_o the_o way_n of_o be_v content_a with_o any_o creature_n of_o the_o whole_a world_n and_o now_o the_o selfsame_a cause_n even_o of_o the_o selfsame_a contentment_n do_v so_o torment_v i_o
almighty_a god_n who_o have_v assist_v i_o always_o and_o be_v a_o great_a friend_n and_o favourer_n of_o all_o perfection_n go_v to_o the_o court_n to_o follow_v the_o business_n and_o labour_v in_o it_o very_o much_o and_o so_o also_o that_o holy_a cavalier_n of_o who_o i_o make_v mention_v before_o do_v very_o much_o therein_o and_o show_v it_o favour_n in_o all_o kind_n he_o endure_v also_o great_a trouble_n and_o persecution_n for_o it_o otherwise_o and_o i_o find_v he_o ever_o like_o a_o father_n to_o it_o and_o so_o i_o do_v also_o to_o this_o day_n and_o our_o lord_n do_v still_o inspire_v they_o who_o be_v our_o friend_n with_o such_o a_o deal_n of_o fervour_n that_o every_o one_o of_o they_o take_v our_o business_n to_o hart_n as_o much_o as_o if_o it_o have_v be_v proper_o his_o own_o and_o as_o if_o his_o whole_a honour_n and_o life_n have_v be_v concern_v in_o it_o though_o yet_o they_o have_v indeed_o no_o other_o interest_n then_o only_o in_o regard_n that_o they_o think_v it_o do_v import_v the_o service_n of_o almighty_a god_n but_o now_o it_o seem_v clear_o that_o his_o divine_a majesty_n assist_v the_o good_a and_o virtuous_a priest_n who_o be_v also_o a_o doctor_n and_o he_o indeed_o be_v one_o of_o they_o who_o help_v we_o most_o for_o the_o bishop_n employ_v he_o about_o it_o in_o his_o name_n in_o a_o certain_a great_a giunta_n or_o public_a meeting_n which_o be_v frame_v about_o it_o and_o therein_o he_o stand_v alone_o for_o we_o against_o they_o all_o and_o in_o fine_a he_o find_v mean_n to_o appease_v they_o for_o he_o make_v a_o kind_n of_o overture_n by_o a_o certain_a way_n which_o be_v sufficient_a to_o entertain_v and_o suspend_v their_o proceed_n &_o indeed_o there_o be_v not_o any_o one_o who_o can_v otherwise_o have_v suffice_v to_o keep_v they_o from_o resolve_v instant_o to_o employ_v even_o their_o very_a life_n for_o the_o overthrow_v of_o the_o business_n this_o servant_n of_o god_n of_o who_o i_o speak_v be_v also_o the_o man_n who_o give_v the_o habit_n to_o the_o religious_a and_o set-up_a the_o b._n sacrament_n there_o and_o he_o be_v subject_a to_o persecution_n enough_o for_o his_o labour_n this_o battery_n continue_v about_o half_a a_o year_n and_o to_o relate_v in_o particular_a manner_n the_o great_a trouble_n which_o pass_v in_o all_o that_o time_n will_v be_v along_o business_n for_o my_o part_n i_o wonder_v extreme_o at_o what_o a_o coil_n the_o devil_n keep_v against_o a_o few_o poor_a woman_n and_o how_o every_o body_n can_v understand_v that_o forsooth_o twelve_o religious_a and_o a_o prioress_n for_o they_o be_v no_o more_o can_v be_v think_v to_o be_v of_o such_o mischief_n to_o a_o whole_a city_n i_o mean_v such_o mischief_n to_o they_o who_o oppose_v it_o but_o as_o for_o the_o religious_a they_o be_v indeed_o of_o so_o austere_a life_n that_o if_o any_o hurt_n or_o error_n be_v to_o grow_v by_o that_o design_n it_o must_v be_v only_o to_o they_o and_o as_o for_o be_v of_o prejudice_n to_o the_o place_n it_o carry_v not_o so_o much_o as_o any_o appearance_n and_o yet_o they_o can_v meet_v with_o enough_o who_o will_v find_v mean_n and_o that_o forsooth_o with_o good_a conscience_n to_o cross_v it_o but_o yet_o now_o at_o length_n they_o come_v so_o far_o as_o to_o affirm_v that_o provide_v always_o that_o they_o will_v get_v revenue_n and_o live_v upon_o it_o they_o be_v content_a to_o give_v way_n and_o that_o the_o business_n may_v go_v on_o for_o my_o part_n i_o be_v then_o so_o weary_a to_o see_v all_o they_o who_o assist_v we_o in_o so_o great_a trouble_n which_o i_o regard_v much_o more_o than_o my_o own_o that_o i_o grow_v to_o be_v of_o opinion_n that_o it_o will_v not_o be_v very_o ill_o do_v to_o accept_v their_o licence_n under_o the_o condition_n of_o have_v revenue_n till_o the_o time_n may_v grow_v quiet_a by_o degree_n and_o that_o so_o we_o may_v get_v to_o be_v without_o it_o afterward_o at_o other_o time_n i_o be_v very_o imperfect_a and_o wicked_a begin_v to_o think_v that_o perhaps_o our_o lord_n will_v not_o mislike_v that_o it_o shall_v be_v so_o since_o we_o can_v not_o obtain_v our_o end_n otherwise_o and_o therefore_o i_o be_v already_o grow_v to_o consent_v to_o this_o accord_n but_o be_v in_o prayer_n the_o night_n before_o the_o final_a conclusion_n thereof_o when_o the_o accord_n be_v even_o already_o begin_v our_o lord_n command_v i_o that_o i_o shall_v consent_v to_o no_o such_o thing_n as_o they_o intend_v and_o that_o if_o we_o begin_v to_o take_v revenue_n they_o will_v never_o give_v we_o leave_v to_o forgo_v it_o and_o diverse_a other_o thing_n he_o also_o tell_v i_o the_o self_n same_o night_n that_o holy_a creature_n fray_n pedro_n de_fw-fr alcantara_n appear_v to_o i_o for_o than_o he_o be_v dead_a and_o before_o also_o he_o die_v he_o write_v to_o i_o and_o take_v notice_n of_o the_o great_a opposition_n &_o persecution_n which_o be_v raise_v against_o we_o he_o say_v he_o be_v hearty_o glad_a that_o this_o foundation_n be_v make_v with_o so_o great_a contradiction_n and_o how_o that_o serve_v he_o for_o a_o sign_n that_o our_o lord_n will_v grow_v to_o be_v great_o serve_v in_o this_o monastery_n since_o the_o devil_n take_v such_o pain_n to_o hinder_v it_o but_o yet_o he_o persuade_v we_o still_o that_o we_o shall_v by_o no_o mean_n accept_v of_o live_v upon_o revenue_n yea_o and_o he_o press_v this_o point_n in_o two_o or_o three_o several_a part_n of_o the_o same_o letter_n and_o tell_v i_o that_o if_o we_o persist_v therein_o we_o shall_v grow_v to_o effect_v the_o business_n according_a to_o our_o own_o desire_n i_o have_v already_o see_v he_o at_o two_o other_o several_a time_n after_o his_o death_n and_o i_o behold_v the_o much_o glory_n wherein_o he_o be_v and_o he_o give_v i_o no_o apprehension_n of_o fear_n at_o all_o but_o rather_o joy_v i_o much_o for_o he_o never_o appear_v to_o i_o but_o in_o the_o quality_n of_o a_o glorified_a body_n yea_o and_o full_a of_o excessive_a glory_n and_o so_o according_o he_o give_v i_o great_a joy_n to_o see_v he_o save_v that_o he_o partly_o show_v himself_o with_o a_o kind_n of_o severity_n or_o rigour_n when_o he_o tell_v i_o that_o in_o no_o case_n i_o shall_v accept_v of_o revenue_n and_o why_o will_v i_o not_o follow_v his_o counsel_n and_o so_o he_o instant_o vanish_v and_o i_o remain_v amaze_v i_o go_v therefore_o the_o next_o day_n to_o that_o cavalier_n he_o be_v the_o person_n to_o who_o we_o still_o carry_v all_o the_o business_n as_o to_o one_o who_o assist_v we_o most_o therein_o and_o i_o tell_v he_o what_o have_v pass_v and_o that_o he_o shall_v by_o no_o mean_n agree_v to_o take_v any_o revenue_n but_o rather_o to_o let_v the_o suit_n go_v on_o now_o he_o be_v even_o much_o more_o earnest_o of_o the_o same_o mind_n than_o i_o be_v myself_o and_o be_v very_o glad_a to_o find_v i_o of_o he_o and_o afterward_o tell_v i_o also_o how_o unwilling_o he_o ever_o speak_v about_o make_v any_o agreement_n or_o composition_n but_o a_o certain_a other_o person_n begin_v again_o ere_o long_o to_o declare_v himself_o against_o we_o and_o true_o she_o be_v a_o good_a servant_n of_o almighty_a god_n but_o yet_o she_o wish_v though_o she_o may_v have_v good_a intention_n therein_o that_o since_o the_o business_n be_v in_o so_o good_a state_n they_o may_v do_v well_o to_o put_v it_o into_o the_o hand_n of_o lawyer_n upon_o this_o i_o have_v a_o great_a deal_n of_o disquiet_n for_o some_o of_o they_o who_o assist_v megrew_n also_o to_o be_v of_o that_o opinion_n though_o yet_o indeed_o it_o be_v a_o very_a trick_n of_o the_o devil_n and_o perhaps_o it_o be_v a_o morsel_n of_o the_o hard_a desgestion_n of_o all_o the_o rest_n but_o our_o lord_n assist_v i_o in_o all_o for_o that_o be_v the_o sum_n of_o the_o business_n and_o it_o be_v no_o easy_a thing_n to_o give_v all_o that_o to_o be_v well_o understand_v which_o pass_v between_o the_o beginning_n and_o finish_v of_o this_o monastery_n although_o this_o last_o half_a year_n and_o the_o other_o which_o be_v the_o first_o be_v the_o most_o troublesome_a part_n of_o the_o whole_a time_n yet_o now_o the_o city_n be_v grow_v in_o some_o sort_n to_o be_v appease_v that_o father_n of_o s._n dominick_n order_n who_o be_v a_o graduate_n in_o theology_n lay_v so_o handsome_o about_o he_o though_o he_o be_v not_o present_v then_o that_o he_o assist_v we_o much_o our_o lord_n bring_v he_o also_o afterward_o in_o a_o certain_a coniuncture_n of_o time_n when_o he_o do_v we_o a_o great_a deal_n of_o good_a and_o it_o seem_v that_o his_o divine_a majesty_n have_v induce_v he_o
great_a preparation_n be_v also_o use_v and_o provision_n make_v for_o every_o one_o of_o they_o who_o shall_v desire_v to_o enjoy_v their_o spouse_n jesus-christ_n our_o lord_n hand_n to_o hand_n by_o live_v cheerful_o and_o everlasting_o in_o the_o say_a rule_n for_o this_o be_v that_o very_a thing_n which_o they_o be_v always_o to_o resolve_v they_o alone_o with_o he_o alone_o and_o they_o be_v to_o be_v no_o more_o than_o thirteen_o for_o i_o see_v by_o the_o opinion_n of_o many_o that_o this_o be_v fit_a and_o i_o have_v find_v it_o also_o to_o be_v true_a by_o experience_n that_o to_o preserve_v that_o spirit_n which_o they_o have_v and_o to_o live_v of_o alm_n it_o without_o ask_v any_o thing_n of_o any_o creature_n there_o will_v not_o be_v mean_n for_o more_o and_o ever_o let_v they_o be_v believe_v best_a who_o with_o many_o trouble_n of_o their_o own_o and_o by_o mean_n of_o the_o many_o prayer_n of_o other_o procure_v that_o that_o may_v be_v do_v which_o be_v best_a and_o so_o also_o by_o the_o consideration_n of_o the_o great_a contentment_n and_o joy_n and_o the_o very_a little_a care_n and_o trouble_v which_o we_o see_v every_o body_n to_o have_v in_o this_o house_n as_o also_o by_o the_o much_o better_a health_n which_o now_o they_o have_v then_o former_o they_o be_v wont_a to_o enjoy_v it_o may_v be_v hold_v and_o hope_v that_o this_o course_n will_v fallout_a to_o be_v most_o convenienr_a and_o whosoever_o shall_v still_o conceive_v that_o the_o way_n of_o life_n here_o be_v too_o severe_a and_o sharp_a let_v he_o rather_o apply_v the_o fault_n to_o his_o own_o want_n of_o spirit_n than_o cast_v it_o upon_o that_o discipline_n which_o be_v observe_v here_o since_o person_n who_o be_v of_o delicate_a constitution_n and_o have_v no_o health_n of_o which_o to_o brag_v do_v yet_o so_o easy_o observe_v this_o rule_n because_o they_o have_v spirit_n and_o let_v those_o other_o go_v in_o god_n name_n to_o some_o other_o monastery_n where_o they_o also_o may_v be_v save_v according_a to_o the_o spirit_n which_o they_o shall_v have_v the_o seven_o and_o their_o tieth_n chapter_n she_o treat_v of_o the_o effect_n which_o use_v to_o remain_v in_o her_o soul_n when_o our_o lord_n have_v do_v she_o any_o favour_n and_o she_o accompany_v this_o discourse_n with_o very_o profitable_a doctrine_n she_o declare_v also_o how_o we_o be_v to_o procure_v and_o great_o esteem_v the_o gain_n of_o one_o degree_n of_o glory_n more_o and_o how_o we_o must_v not_o for_o any_o trouble_n or_o pain_n forsake_v those_o benefit_n and_o blessing_n which_o be_v everlasting_a i_o be_o loath_a to_o recount_v any_o more_o of_o those_o favour_n which_o our_o lord_n have_v do_v i_o than_o such_o as_o i_o have_v relate_v already_o yea_o and_o even_o they_o be_v more_o i_o doubt_v then_o need_v to_o be_v think_v to_o have_v be_v show_v to_o so_o miserable_a a_o creature_n as_o myself_o but_o yet_o to_o obey_v our_o lord_n who_o have_v command_v it_o and_o your_o reverence_n also_o who_o expect_v it_o i_o will_v declare_v some_o thing_n here_o to_o his_o glory_n and_o i_o humble_o beseech_v his_o divine_a majesty_n that_o it_o may_v serve_v for_o the_o profit_n of_o some_o soul_n to_o see_v that_o our_o bless_a lord_n will_v vouchsafe_v so_o high_o to_o favour_v so_o wretched_a a_o thing_n as_o i_o be_o for_o then_o what_o will_v he_o not_o do_v for_o such_o other_o as_o shall_v procure_v to_o serve_v his_o divine_a majesty_n in_o good_a earnest_n and_o every_o body_n will_v so_o be_v encourage_v hereby_o to_o give_v our_o lord_n contentment_n and_o gust_n since_o even_o in_o this_o mortal_a life_n of_o we_o he_o vouchsafe_v to_o impart_v to_o we_o such_o assurance_n and_o even_o pawn_n of_o his_o love_n but_o first_o it_o be_v here_o to_o be_v understand_v that_o in_o all_o these_o favour_n which_o almighty_a god_n be_v please_v to_o do_v to_o a_o soul_n there_o be_v ever_o more_o glory_n or_o less_o as_o he_o himself_o be_v please_v to_o impart_v it_o more_o or_o less_o for_o the_o glory_n and_o gust_n and_o comfort_n which_o he_o impart_v be_v so_o much_o more_o in_o some_o vision_n then_o in_o other_o as_o that_o i_o be_v even_o amaze_v to_o find_v so_o great_a difference_n of_o enjoy_v even_o in_o this_o life_n for_o it_o happen_v that_o there_o be_v so_o great_a a_o excellency_n belong_v to_o some_o one_o regalo_n or_o gust_n which_o our_o lord_n impart_v in_o some_o one_o vision_n or_o in_o some_o one_o rapt_v that_o it_o seem_v a_o impossible_a thing_n to_o be_v able_a so_o much_o as_o to_o desire_v any_o thing_n beyond_o it_o in_o this_o life_n nor_o do_v the_o soul_n indeed_o desire_v more_o nor_o will_v even_o wish_v for_o more_o joy_n and_o gust_n though_o yet_o since_o our_o bless_a lord_n have_v be_v please_v to_o give_v i_o to_o understand_v how_o great_a the_o difference_n be_v in_o heaven_n between_o the_o glory_n which_o be_v enjoy_v by_o some_o &_o that_o which_o be_v enjoy_v by_o other_o i_o be_o come_v to_o see_v very_o clear_o that_o even_o here_o also_o there_o be_v no_o set_a limit_n in_o give_v when_o our_o lord_n please_v and_o so_o can_v i_o also_o wish_v that_o there_o be_v no_o limit_n set_v in_o my_o do_v service_n to_o his_o divine_a majesty_n but_o that_o i_o will_v employ_v my_o whole_a strength_n and_o health_n and_o life_n upon_o it_o that_o so_o i_o may_v not_o loose_v the_o least_o imaginable_a proportion_n of_o my_o enjoy_n any_o celestial_a blessing_n through_o any_o fault_n of_o i_o and_o herein_o i_o declare_v myself_o thus_o far_o that_o if_o this_o choice_n shall_v be_v offer_v i_o whether_o i_o will_v be_v subject_a to_o all_o affliction_n of_o the_o world_n even_o till_o the_o end_n of_o the_o same_o world_n and_o then_o ascend_v by_o that_o mean_n to_o the_o enjoy_n of_o never_o so_o little_o more_o glory_n or_o else_o without_o any_o affliction_n at_o all_o to_o enjoy_v a_o little_a less_o glory_n i_o will_v most_o willing_o accept_v of_o all_o those_o trouble_n and_o affliction_n for_o a_o little_a more_o enjoy_v that_o so_o i_o may_v also_o understand_v more_o of_o the_o greatness_n of_o almighty_a god_n because_o i_o see_v that_o he_o who_o understand_v more_o of_o he_o do_v both_o praise_n he_o and_o love_v he_o so_o much_o the_o more_o i_o say_v not_o but_o that_o i_o shall_v be_v full_o content_v and_o shall_v esteem_v myself_o very_o happy_a to_o be_v in_o heaven_n though_o it_o be_v but_o in_o the_o most_o inferior_a place_n thereof_o for_o our_o bless_a lord_n will_v show_v a_o abundance_n of_o mercy_n thereby_o to_o such_o a_o one_o as_o have_v be_v design_v to_o hellfire_n as_o i_o be_v and_o i_o humble_o pray_v his_o divine_a majesty_n that_o he_o will_v not_o cast_v his_o eye_n upon_o my_o great_a sin_n but_o that_o in_o fine_a i_o may_v go_v to_o heaven_n but_o that_o which_o i_o say_v be_v this_o that_o if_o our_o lord_n will_v give_v i_o grace_n to_o labour_n much_o for_o he_o and_o if_o i_o be_v able_a to_o do_v it_o i_o will_v not_o upon_o any_o term_n how_o much_o pain_n soever_o it_o may_v cost_v i_o forgo_v the_o gain_n of_o any_o thing_n in_o the_o way_n of_o celestial_a glory_n by_o my_o fault_n miserable_a creature_n that_o i_o be_o who_o have_v once_o lose_v it_o all_o through_o my_o own_o great_a sin_n but_o here_o it_o be_v also_o to_o be_v note_v that_o in_o every_o favour_n or_o vision_n or_o revelation_n which_o our_o lord_n allow_v i_o my_o soul_n do_v still_o remain_v with_o some_o great_a advantage_n or_o gain_v and_o sometime_o with_o a_o gain_n which_o be_v very_o extraordinary_o great_a by_o mean_n of_o some_o of_o my_o vision_n for_o by_o my_o see_v christ_n our_o lord_n his_o admirable_a and_o excessive_a beauty_n remain_v imprint_v in_o i_o and_o i_o have_v it_o even_o to_o this_o day_n for_o in_o such_o a_o case_n as_o this_o one_o only_o time_n serve_v the_o turn_n and_o therefore_o how_o much_o more_o when_o it_o happen_v so_o very_o often_o as_o our_o lord_n have_v vouchsafe_v to_o impart_v it_o to_o i_o in_o particular_a i_o remain_v with_o one_o which_o be_v extreme_o considerable_a and_o it_o be_v this_o i_o be_v subject_a to_o a_o very_a great_a fault_n by_o which_o much_o hurt_n come_v upon_o i_o whensoever_o i_o begin_v to_o observe_v that_o any_o one_o have_v a_o good_a inclination_n to_o i_o for_o if_o i_o like_v he_o well_o i_o grow_v to_o carry_v so_o much_o affection_n to_o he_o as_o that_o my_o memory_n will_v bind_v i_o after_o a_o sort_n to_o be_v still_o think_v of_o he_o though_o yet_o it_o be_v not_o at_o all_o with_o any_o intention_n to_o offend_v almighty_a god_n
the_o effect_n whensoever_o the_o soul_n have_v light_a for_o many_o time_n as_o i_o have_v say_v our_o lord_n be_v please_v that_o it_o shall_v remain_v in_o darkness_n and_o not_o see_v this_o light_n and_o therefore_o it_o be_v not_o so_o strange_a a_o business_n which_o so_o wicked_a a_o creature_n as_o myself_o may_v come_v to_o see_v on_o the_o other_o side_n it_o be_v but_o even_o now_o that_o it_o have_v happen_v to_o i_o to_o be_v eight_o day_n in_o such_o a_o case_n as_o that_o i_o seem_v neither_o to_o have_v knowledge_n of_o what_o i_o owe_v to_o almighty_a god_n not_o yet_o any_o memory_n of_o his_o favour_n but_o only_o that_o my_o soul_n be_v even_o half_o besot_v and_o estrange_v and_o employ_v upon_o i_o know_v not_o what_o nor_o how_o not_o yet_o upon_o any_o ill_a thought_n but_o i_o be_v so_o very_o untoward_a in_o respect_n of_o good_a one_o that_o i_o do_v even_o as_o it_o be_v laugh_v at_o myself_o and_o take_v a_o kind_n of_o gust_n to_o see_v the_o great_a baseness_n of_o a_o soul_n whensoever_o our_o lord_n vouchsafe_v not_o to_o be_v work_v in_o it_o but_o she_o yet_o understand_v very_o well_o that_o she_o be_v not_o without_o possess_v he_o even_o in_o this_o state_n for_o it_o be_v not_o as_o i_o have_v former_o say_v as_o it_o use_v to_o be_v in_o our_o great_a affliction_n but_o though_o we_o bring_v wood_n thither_o and_o do_v also_o all_o that_o very_o little_a which_o we_o be_v able_a to_o do_v on_o our_o part_n there_o be_v yet_o no_o such_o thing_n in_o the_o world_n as_o the_o kindle_v at_o that_o time_n of_o any_o fire_n of_o the_o love_n of_o our_o lord_n in_o our_o heart_n and_o it_o be_v no_o small_a mercy_n of_o he_o that_o we_o can_v so_o much_o as_o find_v that_o there_o be_v any_o smoke_n for_o at_o least_o we_o know_v thereby_o that_o she_o be_v not_o dead_a and_o our_o lord_n return_v to_o kindle_v it_o again_o afterward_o but_o then_o this_o soul_n of_o we_o though_o we_o break_v our_o very_a head_n in_o blow_v and_o weary_a ourselves_o also_o otherwise_o in_o order_v and_o compose_v the_o wood_n seem_v to_o be_v in_o such_o a_o condition_n as_o that_o every_o thing_n serve_v to_o choke_v we_o the_o more_o and_o so_o i_o think_v the_o best_a of_o our_o case_n to_o be_v then_o to_o render_v ourselves_o whole_o up_o and_o to_o know_v that_o we_o be_v able_a to_o do_v nothing_o of_o ourselves_o and_o then_o to_o apply_v our_o endeavour_n to_o the_o do_v of_o some_o external_a meritorious_a thing_n yea_o and_o perhaps_o our_o bless_a lord_n be_v please_v to_o take_v prayer_n from_o we_o at_o that_o time_n to_o the_o end_n that_o the_o soul_n may_v exercise_v herself_o in_o those_o other_o action_n and_o so_o understand_v at_o length_n by_o good_a experience_n how_o little_a she_o be_v able_a to_o do_v of_o herself_o but_o now_o i_o have_v this_o very_a day_n regale_v my_o soul_n with_o our_o lord_n and_o presume_v to_o complain_v to_o his_o divine_a majesty_n even_o against_o himself_o to_o this_o effect_n how_o come_v it_o to_o pass_v o_o my_o god_n that_o it_o seem_v not_o enough_o for_o thou_o to_o keep_v i_o in_o this_o miserable_a life_n and_o that_o i_o resolve_v to_o endure_v it_o all_o for_o thy_o sake_n and_o that_o i_o content_v myself_o to_o be_v where_o all_o be_v vexation_n and_o trouble_v and_o that_o i_o may_v not_o so_o much_o as_o enjoy_v even_o thou_o but_o that_o i_o must_v also_o eat_v and_o sleep_v and_o dispatch_v business_n and_o treat_v with_o every_o creature_n according_a to_o the_o occasion_n and_o that_o i_o suffer_v all_o this_o for_o the_o love_n of_o thou_o and_o now_o o_o my_o lord_n thou_o know_v that_o this_o be_v a_o extreme_a torment_n to_o my_o hart_n and_o that_o yet_o in_o those_o few_o little_a moment_n of_o time_n which_o remain_v to_o i_o for_o the_o enjoy_v thou_o thou_o yet_o be_v please_v to_o hide_v thyself_o after_o this_o manner_n from_o i_o and_o how_o can_v this_o be_v compatible_a with_o thy_o mercy_n and_o how_o can_v the_o love_n thou_o bear_v i_o permit_v it_o i_o believe_v o_o my_o dear_a lord_n that_o if_o it_o be_v a_o possible_a thing_n for_o i_o to_o hide_v myself_o from_o thou_o as_o thou_o do_v thyself_o from_o i_o i_o think_v i_o say_v and_o i_o believe_v so_o much_o of_o the_o love_n thou_o bear_v i_o as_o that_o thou_o will_v not_o endure_v it_o at_o my_o hand_n but_o thou_o be_v still_o with_o i_o and_o ever_o see_v in_o what_o case_n i_o be_o yet_o permit_v not_o long_o o_o my_o lord_n that_o this_o kind_n of_o course_n be_v hold_v but_o i_o humble_o beseech_v thou_o to_o consider_v that_o it_o be_v a_o kind_n of_o wrong_n to_o proceed_v after_o this_o manner_n with_o one_o who_o love_v thou_o so_o much_o this_o and_o the_o like_a have_v occur_v to_o i_o to_o say_v though_o yet_o i_o consider_v first_o how_o that_o place_n which_o have_v be_v provide_v for_o i_o in_o hell_n be_v appoint_v i_o after_o a_o kind_n of_o favourable_a way_n in_o comparison_n of_o what_o i_o have_v deserve_v but_o yet_o sometime_o the_o love_n i_o bear_v to_o our_o bless_a lord_n be_v so_o very_o extravagant_a that_o i_o scarce_o can_v tell_v what_o i_o do_v and_o then_o with_o all_o the_o little_a understanding_n i_o have_v i_o make_v such_o complaint_n as_o these_o and_o our_o lord_n endure_v they_o all_o at_o my_o hand_n and_o therefore_o let_v so_o good_a a_o king_n as_o this_o be_v ever_o praise_v but_o now_o may_v we_o perhaps_o be_v able_a to_o approach_v any_o king_n of_o this_o world_n with_o such_o audacity_n as_o these_o and_o yet_o i_o wonder_v not_o much_o that_o we_o may_v not_o presume_v to_o talk_v after_o this_o manner_n to_o our_o earthly_a king_n who_o we_o have_v so_o much_o reason_n to_o fear_v yea_o or_o even_o to_o such_o great_a lord_n as_o be_v the_o superior_a part_n of_o the_o state_n for_o people_n now_o we_o find_v the_o world_n so_o change_v that_o our_o very_a life_n shall_v be_v long_o than_o now_o they_o be_v to_o the_o end_n that_o we_o may_v have_v time_n enough_o to_o learn_v the_o punto_n and_o new_a custom_n and_o fashion_n of_o good_a manner_n of_o the_o world_n if_o there_o be_v any_o meaning_n withal_o that_o we_o shall_v also_o have_v any_o time_n to_o spend_v in_o the_o service_n of_o almighty_a god_n for_o my_o part_n i_o even_o bless_v myself_o to_o see_v what_o happen_v for_o the_o truth_n be_v that_o even_o already_o i_o scarce_o know_v how_o to_o live_v in_o the_o world_n when_o i_o come_v to_o this_o place_n for_o now_o it_o pass_v i_o can_v assure_v you_o for_o no_o jest_n whensoever_o there_o be_v any_o little_a omission_n to_o treat_v man_n even_o with_o much_o more_o style_n and_o ceremony_n than_o they_o deserve_v but_o they_o do_v real_o so_o take_v it_o for_o a_o affront_n that_o you_o must_v forsooth_o interpret_v your_o intention_n and_o profess_v your_o desire_n to_o make_v satisfaction_n if_o there_o be_v as_o i_o be_v say_v any_o omission_n yea_o and_o i_o pray_v god_n that_o they_o will_v vouchsafe_v to_o believe_v you_o but_o in_o the_o mean_a time_n i_o return_v to_o affirm_v that_o real_o i_o do_v not_o know_v how_o to_o live_v so_o miserable_o do_v these_o thing_n afflict_v a_o poor_a overlabour_v soul_n for_o she_o see_v that_o on_o the_o one_o side_n they_o command_v she_o to_o employ_v her_o whole_a thought_n upon_o god_n and_o that_o it_o be_v necessary_a for_o she_o to_o do_v so_o to_o the_o end_n that_o she_o may_v be_v deliver_v from_o many_o danger_n and_o on_o the_o other_o side_n she_o also_o find_v that_o it_o concern_v she_o not_o to_o loose_v a_o punto_n even_o in_o the_o puntilio_n of_o this_o world_n upon_o the_o price_n of_o not_o chance_v to_o minister_v occasion_n of_o give_v temptation_n and_o trouble_v to_o they_o who_o place_n their_o honour_n in_o these_o punto_n for_o as_o for_o i_o they_o tire_v i_o even_o outright_o and_o i_o can_v never_o be_v at_o a_o end_n of_o make_v satisfaction_n for_o it_o be_v never_o in_o my_o power_n how_o much_o soever_o i_o endeavour_v it_o to_o forbear_v the_o make_v many_o fault_n in_o this_o kind_n which_o as_o i_o say_v be_v not_o hold_v to_o be_v little_a in_o the_o account_n of_o the_o world_n and_o it_o be_v true_a that_o in_o religious_a order_n which_o in_o all_o reason_n shall_v be_v excuse_v and_o discharge_v in_o such_o kind_n as_o these_o there_o be_v real_o a_o very_a true_a discharge_n not_o yet_o that_o they_o affirm_v that_o our_o monastery_n ought_v to_o be_v a_o kind_n of_o court_n for_o good_a breed_n and_o to_o know_v what_o belong_v to_o good_a manner_n
this_o light_n nor_o yet_o of_o any_o other_o thing_n at_o all_o which_o our_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o give_v i_o to_o understand_v and_o that_o with_o such_o a_o sovereign_a kind_n of_o delight_n as_o can_v possible_o be_v declare_v for_o all_o our_o sense_n enjoy_v such_o a_o superior_a degree_n of_o sweetness_n that_o it_o can_v no_o way_n be_v full_o express_v and_o therefore_o i_o think_v it_o will_v be_v best_a to_o say_v no_o more_o i_o have_v once_o be_v above_o a_o hour_n in_o this_o condition_n when_o our_o lord_n show_v i_o admirable_a thing_n and_o seem_v not_o to_o depart_v from_o be_v near_o i_o he_o speak_v these_o very_a word_n to_o i_o see_v here_o my_o daughter_n what_o they_o lose_v who_o be_v against_o i_o &_o do_v not_o thou_o forbear_v to_o let_v they_o know_v it_o but_o o_o my_o dear_a lord_n what_o good_a will_v my_o say_n it_o do_v to_o they_o who_o their_o own_o action_n blind_a so_o deep_o if_o thy_o divine_a majesty_n do_v not_o give_v they_o light_v some_o there_o be_v to_o who_o thou_o have_v give_v it_o and_o they_o have_v profit_v much_o by_o know_v those_o greatness_n of_o thou_o but_o yet_o o_o my_o lord_n they_o see_v in_o such_o sort_n withal_o that_o they_o be_v show_v to_o such_o a_o wretched_a and_o miserable_a thing_n as_o myself_o that_o i_o can_v but_o esteem_v it_o a_o strange_a thing_n to_o find_v that_o any_o creature_n shall_v believe_v i_o bless_a be_v thy_o name_n and_o thy_o mercy_n for_o at_o least_o i_o have_v plain_o see_v a_o evident_a amendment_n in_o my_o own_o soul_n and_o i_o will_v be_v glad_a if_o i_o may_v still_o remain_v there_o and_o not_o come_v back_o to_o live_v here_o any_o more_o for_o the_o contempt_n wherein_o i_o hold_v this_o whole_a world_n be_v very_o great_a and_o it_o seem_v to_o be_v no_o better_o than_o even_o dung_n to_o i_o and_o now_o i_o find_v how_o base_o we_o be_v employ_v who_o be_v detain_v therein_o whilst_o i_o remain_v with_o that_o lady_n of_o who_o i_o speak_v before_o it_o happen_v to_o i_o once_o when_o i_o be_v ill_a and_o even_o sick_a at_o the_o hart_n for_o i_o have_v former_o be_v subject_n to_o this_o misery_n though_o nothing_o so_o much_o of_o late_a she_o consider_v i_o with_o much_o charity_n and_o compassion_n command_v that_o one_o day_n certain_a jewel_n of_o she_o shall_v be_v bring_v forth_o which_o she_o have_v of_o very_o great_a value_n and_o one_o in_o particular_a of_o diamond_n which_o be_v prize_v at_o a_o very_a high_a rate_n now_o she_o conceive_v belike_o that_o this_o will_v recreate_v and_o revive_v i_o but_o i_o smile_v inward_o at_o she_o the_o while_n and_o have_v compassion_n to_o see_v how_o mean_a thing_n man_n esteem_v when_o i_o consider_v what_o our_o lord_n have_v layd-up_a for_o we_o and_o i_o think_v how_o impossible_a a_o thing_n it_o will_v be_v for_o i_o to_o put_v any_o manner_n of_o value_n upon_o such_o toy_n as_o those_o even_o though_o i_o shall_v endeavour_v it_o unless_o our_o lord_n shall_v first_o deprive_v i_o of_o the_o memory_n of_o those_o other_o treasure_n but_o now_o this_o kind_n of_o favour_n give_v so_o great_a a_o dominion_n to_o the_o soul_n that_o i_o know_v not_o whether_o it_o can_v possible_o be_v understand_v but_o only_o by_o such_o person_n as_o possess_v it_o for_o it_o be_v the_o proper_a true_a and_o natural_a discharge_n and_o unty_v of_o the_o soul_n from_o all_o thing_n create_v and_o this_o grow_v absolute_o without_o any_o labour_n of_o our_o own_o and_o almighty_a god_n do_v it_o all_o and_o then_o his_o divine_a majesty_n show_v these_o truth_n and_o that_o so_o as_o to_o make_v they_o remain_v imprint_v and_o engrave_v in_o the_o soul_n and_o they_o serve_v also_o to_o make_v we_o see_v clear_o that_o it_o be_v not_o possible_a for_o we_o to_o acquire_v they_o especial_o in_o so_o short_a a_o time_n by_o any_o diligence_n of_o our_o own_o upon_o this_o i_o also_o come_v to_o have_v very_o little_a fear_n of_o death_n which_o former_o have_v be_v great_a in_o i_o but_o now_o it_o be_v grow_v to_o seem_v to_o be_v a_o thing_n of_o very_a much_o facility_n and_o ease_n for_o such_o as_o apply_v themselves_o to_o the_o service_n of_o almighty_a god_n for_o by_o death_n the_o soul_n fly_v out_o of_o prison_n in_o one_o moment_n and_o be_v not_o only_o put_v present_o into_o liberty_n but_o enjoy_v a_o everlasting_a rest_n and_o glory_n now_o this_o way_n which_o be_v hold_v by_o almighty_a god_n in_o carry_v the_o spirit_n up_o to_o show_v she_o so_o excellent_a thing_n in_o these_o rapt_n seem_v to_o bear_v a_o very_a close_a kind_n of_o conformity_n with_o the_o passage_n of_o a_o soul_n out_o of_o a_o body_n at_o the_o hour_n of_o death_n since_o it_o grow_v even_o at_o one_o instant_a to_o be_v so_o entire_o inpossession_n of_o this_o eternal_a good_n but_o here_o i_o lay_v aside_o the_o consideration_n of_o those_o sorrow_n and_o pain_n which_o be_v feel_v when_o the_o soul_n be_v tear_v out_o of_o the_o body_n for_o we_o be_v to_o make_v little_a account_n of_o that_o and_o they_o also_o who_o love_n god_n in_o good_a earnest_n and_o have_v shake_v hand_n with_o all_o the_o contentment_n of_o this_o life_n be_v certain_o wont_a to_o die_v with_o more_o sweetness_n it_o also_o seem_v to_o i_o that_o these_o favour_n do_v i_o very_o much_o good_a towards_o the_o bring_v i_o into_o a_o knowledge_n of_o our_o true_a country_n and_o to_o see_v that_o we_o be_v mere_a pilgrim_n here_o and_o it_o be_v a_o precious_a kind_n of_o thing_n to_o find_v what_o pass_v there_o above_o and_o to_o understand_v where_o in_o fine_a we_o be_v to_o live_v for_o ever_o and_o whensoever_o one_o go_v to_o settle_v and_o stay_v for_o good_a and_o all_o in_o any_o country_n it_o give_v a_o great_a assistance_n towards_o the_o endure_a all_o the_o incommodity_n of_o the_o journey_n when_o we_o know_v that_o the_o end_n of_o it_o be_v to_o be_v such_o as_o that_o we_o may_v in_o fine_a be_v in_o great_a repose_n and_o happiness_n when_o we_o get_v thither_o it_o be_v also_o here_o obtain_v that_o with_o case_n we_o may_v grow_v able_a to_o consider_v heavenly_a thing_n that_o so_o our_o conversation_n may_v be_v there_o and_o this_o be_v a_o great_a kind_n of_o gain_n since_o the_o only_o think_v of_o heaven_n recollect_n the_o soul_n in_o regard_n that_o our_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o show_v we_o somewhat_o which_o pass_v there_o we_o be_v induce_v to_o pause_v and_o think_v upon_o it_o and_o sometime_o it_o so_o fall_v out_o that_o they_o who_o i_o know_v to_o live_v there_o be_v the_o soul_n who_o accompany_v i_o and_o in_o who_o i_o receive_v most_o comfort_n and_o these_o indeed_o be_v they_o who_o seem_v to_o be_v true_o alive_a and_o those_o other_o on_o the_o other_o side_n who_o live_v here_o seem_v to_o be_v so_o very_o deadly_a dead_a as_o that_o this_o whole_a world_n put_v together_o can_v amount_v to_o be_v any_o company_n at_o all_o for_o i_o and_o especial_o when_o i_o find_v any_o of_o these_o impulse_n or_o impetuosity_n in_o myself_o the_o whole_a world_n seem_v to_o be_v but_o a_o very_a dream_n and_o all_o the_o object_n of_o these_o corporeal_a eye_n of_o i_o a_o mere_a jest_n and_o toy_n but_o that_o which_o already_o i_o have_v see_v with_o the_o eye_n of_o my_o soul_n that_o i_o say_v be_v the_o thing_n which_o she_o desire_v and_o because_o she_o find_v herself_o to_o be_v yet_o far_o off_o from_o thence_o this_o be_v that_o which_o be_v no_o less_o than_o even_o death_n itself_o to_o my_o soul_n in_o fine_a the_o favour_n be_v excessive_o great_a which_o our_o lord_n vouchsafe_v to_o that_o soul_n to_o who_o he_o give_v such_o vision_n as_o these_o for_o they_o help_v she_o much_o in_o all_o thing_n and_o particular_o to_o the_o carry_v of_o a_o certain_a heavy_a cross_n which_o lie_v upon_o she_o for_o nothing_o can_v satisfy_v she_o now_o but_o every_o thing_n disgust_n and_o check_v she_o and_o if_o our_o bless_a lord_n do_v not_o give_v way_n that_o we_o may_v forget_v it_o sometime_o though_o yet_o we_o remember_v it_o again_o afterward_o i_o know_v not_o how_o we_o shall_v be_v able_a to_o live_v let_v he_o be_v bless_v and_o praise_v for_o all_o eternity_n and_o i_o humble_o beg_v of_o his_o divine_a majesty_n even_o by_o that_o very_a precious_a blood_n which_o his_o own_o son_n shed_v for_o i_o that_o since_o he_o have_v vouchsafe_v that_o i_o shall_v understand_v somewhat_o of_o these_o benefit_n and_o blessing_n and_o that_o i_o shall_v begin_v to_o enjoy_v they_o also_o in_o some_o kind_n even_o in_o this_o life_n it_o
may_v not_o happen_v to_o i_o as_o it_o do_v to_o lucifer_n who_o lose_v all_o by_o his_o own_o fault_n do_v not_o permit_v this_o o_o my_o lord_n i_o humble_o pray_v thou_o even_o by_o all_o that_o which_o thou_o be_v for_o it_o be_v no_o small_a fear_n which_o i_o have_v sometime_o though_o yet_o at_o other_o time_n yea_o and_o usual_o the_o mercy_n of_o almighty_a god_n give_v i_o a_o very_a confident_a hope_n that_o since_o he_o have_v be_v please_v to_o draw_v i_o out_o of_o so_o many_o sin_n he_o will_v not_o forsake_v i_o so_o now_o as_o to_o let_v i_o be_v lose_v and_o this_o do_v i_o humble_o pray_v your_o reverence_n that_o you_o will_v ever_o desire_v in_o my_o behalf_n but_o in_o the_o mean_a time_n i_o think_v that_o those_o precedent_a favour_n be_v not_o so_o very_o great_a as_o this_o which_o i_o will_v now_o apply_v myself_o to_o relate_v and_o that_o for_o many_o reason_n &_o many_o blessing_n also_o and_o in_o particular_a for_o that_o great_a courage_n &_o strength_n which_o have_v still_o remain_v in_o i_o upon_o that_o account_n and_o therefore_o if_o those_o former_a may_v be_v consider_v every_o one_o by_o itself_o this_o other_o which_o i_o be_o go_v to_o relate_v will_v be_v find_v to_o be_v so_o very_o great_a as_o that_o there_o will_v be_v no_o comparison_n at_o all_o between_o they_o i_o be_v one_o day_n and_o the_o same_o fall_v out_o to_o be_v upon_o the_o vigil_n of_o pentecost_n or_o whitsuntide_n after_o mass_n and_o i_o go_v to_o a_o more_o remote_a place_n where_o i_o often_o use_v to_o pray_v and_o i_o begin_v to_o read_v in_o a_o certain_a book_n of_o this_o feast_n which_o have_v be_v write_v by_o a_o carthusian_n and_o meet_v there_o with_o those_o sign_n which_o both_o beginner_n and_o proficient_n and_o perfect_a soul_n use_v to_o have_v and_o how_o they_o may_v come_v to_o understand_v whether_o the_o holie-ghost_n do_v inhabit_v their_o heart_n or_o no_o as_o soon_o as_o i_o have_v read_v these_o three_o state_n it_o seem_v to_o i_o that_o almighty_a god_n through_o his_o goodness_n do_v not_o leave_v or_o fail_v to_o be_v present_a with_o i_o after_o a_o particular_a manner_n for_o as_o much_o as_o i_o may_v be_v able_a to_o understand_v and_o whilst_o i_o be_v praise_v his_o divine_a majesty_n for_o that_o blessing_n i_o remember_v that_o i_o have_v read_v the_o same_o thing_n former_o when_o i_o want_v very_o much_o of_o that_o condition_n of_o mind_n and_o then_o i_o see_v that_o i_o want_v it_o as_o plain_o as_o now_o i_o understand_v the_o direct_a contrary_n concern_v myself_o but_o thus_o i_o come_v to_o know_v the_o great_a favour_n which_o our_o bless_a lord_n have_v do_v i_o and_o from_o thence_o i_o grow_v also_o to_o consider_v the_o place_n which_o my_o soul_n have_v deserve_v in_o hell_n for_o my_o sin_n and_o i_o give_v great_a praise_n to_o almighty_a god_n in_o regard_n that_o now_o i_o think_v my_o soul_n be_v so_o extreme_o change_v that_o i_o can_v hardly_o almost_o conceive_v it_o to_o be_v the_o very_a selfsame_a thing_n which_o it_o have_v be_v before_o be_v then_o in_o this_o consideration_n there_o come_v a_o great_a impulse_n or_o impetuositie_n upon_o i_o without_o my_o be_v able_a to_o understand_v the_o occasion_n thereof_o i_o think_v my_o very_a soul_n have_v a_o mind_n to_o get_v instant_o out_o of_o my_o body_n for_o now_o she_o can_v not_o possible_o contain_v herself_o any_o long_o nor_o find_v she_o herself_o at_o that_o time_n to_o be_v able_a to_o stay_v any_o long_o here_o in_o the_o painful_a expectation_n of_o so_o great_a a_o good_n now_o this_o be_v so_o excessive_a a_o impulse_n or_o impetuositie_n that_o i_o can_v not_o possible_o tell_v even_o what_o to_o do_v with_o myself_o nor_o so_o much_o as_o what_o i_o ail_v so_o extreme_o be_v i_o grow_v to_o be_v in_o disorder_n and_o though_o i_o be_v sit_v then_o yet_o be_v i_o not_o able_a even_o to_o sit_v and_o so_o i_o apply_v myself_o a_o little_a to_o lean_v for_o i_o find_v that_o all_o my_o natural_a force_n begin_v to_o fail_v i_o but_o perceave_v myself_o to_o be_v in_o this_o case_n i_o see_v a_o dove_n upon_o my_o own_o head_n but_o such_o a_o dove_n as_o be_v very_o different_a from_o they_o of_o this_o world_n for_o she_o have_v not_o of_o our_o kind_n of_o feather_n but_o the_o wing_n be_v as_o of_o certain_a little_a shell_n which_o dar_v a_o huge_a splendour_n from_o themselves_o this_o dove_n be_v much_o great_a than_o any_o ordinary_a dove_n and_o i_o thought_n i_o hear_v a_o noise_n which_o she_o make_v with_o her_o wing_n for_o she_o be_v flutter_v about_o the_o space_n of_o a_o aut_fw-la maria._n but_o my_o soul_n be_v already_o in_o such_o condition_n that_o grow_v to_o loose_v herself_o she_o also_o lose_v the_o sight_n of_o the_o dove_n my_o spirit_n do_v then_o begin_v to_o quiet_v itself_o upon_o the_o entertain_n of_o such_o a_o guest_n as_o she_o have_v get_v though_o yet_o for_o my_o part_n i_o imagine_v that_o so_o wondrous_a a_o encounter_n and_o accident_n as_o that_o be_v may_v well_o have_v disquiet_v and_o fright_v it_o but_o she_o begin_v already_o to_o enjoy_v lay_v quick_o all_o fear_n aside_o and_o together_o with_o the_o self_n same_o joy_n grow_v to_o have_v quietness_n withal_o but_o yet_o still_o remain_v in_o the_o rapt_v now_o the_o glory_n of_o this_o rapt_v be_v extreme_o great_a and_o i_o remain_v during_o the_o most_o part_n of_o the_o whole_a festivitie_n of_o pentecost_n so_o stun_v and_o even_o as_o it_o be_v besort_a and_o befool_v that_o i_o know_v not_o what_o to_o dot_v with_o myself_o nor_o be_v i_o able_a by_o any_o mean_n to_o understand_v how_o so_o high_a and_o great_a a_o favour_n as_o this_o be_v can_v possible_o find_v a_o rest_a place_n in_o i_o i_o neither_o hear_v nor_o see_v in_o effect_n by_o reason_n of_o the_o great_a excess_n of_o my_o interior_a joy_n i_o understand_v how_o from_o that_o day_n forward_o my_o soul_n remain_v with_o a_o very_a great_a increase_n of_o improvement_n by_o enjoy_v a_o more_o sublime_a love_n of_o almighty_a god_n and_o that_o my_o virtue_n also_o have_v gain_v a_o great_a increase_n of_o strength_n now_o let_v he_o be_v bless_v and_o praise_v for_o all_o eternity_n amen_n i_o see_v also_o at_o another_o time_n the_o same_o dove_n upon_o the_o head_n of_o a_o certain_a father_n of_o s._n dominick_n order_n save_o that_o i_o think_v both_o the_o beam_n and_o the_o brightness_n of_o the_o very_a wing_n do_v spread_v and_o extend_v themselves_o much_o further_o and_o it_o be_v give_v i_o then_o to_o understand_v that_o he_o be_v to_o win_v soul_n to_o god_n another_o time_n i_o see_v our_o bless_a lady_n put_v a_o white_a long_a garment_n upon_o the_o back_n of_o a_o certain_a graduate_n of_o the_o same_o order_n of_o who_o i_o have_v speak_v former_o diverse_a time_n and_o she_o tell_v i_o that_o she_o have_v give_v he_o that_o mantle_n for_o have_v assist_v in_o the_o business_n of_o this_o house_n and_o that_o his_o soul_n shall_v be_v defend_v and_o preserve_v for_o the_o future_a in_o such_o purity_n as_o that_o he_o shall_v not_o fall_v into_o mortal_a sinne._n and_o i_o assure_v myself_o it_o prove_v so_o for_o he_o die_v within_o few_o year_n after_o yea_o and_o he_o do_v both_o line_n and_o die_v with_o so_o great_a per_n nance_n and_o sanctity_n that_o there_o can_v be_v no_o doubt_n thereof_o for_o any_o thing_n that_o we_o be_v able_a to_o understand_v and_o a_o certain_a religious_a man_n who_o have_v be_v at_o his_o death_n tell_v i_o that_o s._n thomas_n of_o aquin_n have_v be_v with_o he_o and_o that_o he_o die_v both_o with_o great_a joy_n and_o with_o desire_n also_o to_o be_v deliver_v from_o this_o bannishment_n wherein_o he_o be_v since_o that_o time_n he_o have_v appear_v to_o i_o in_o very_a much_o glory_n and_o tell_v i_o diverse_a thing_n he_o be_v a_o man_n of_o so_o great_a prayer_n that_o when_o a_o little_a before_o he_o die_v he_o will_v glad_o have_v forbear_v the_o exercise_n thereof_o through_o his_o great_a weakness_n he_o be_v not_o able_a to_o do_v it_o for_o even_o then_o he_o have_v many_o rapt_n he_o write_v to_o i_o a_o little_a before_o he_o die_v about_o what_o course_n i_o think_v he_o be_v best_a to_o take_v for_o help_v because_o ever_o as_o soon_o as_o he_o have_v do_v mass_n he_o use_v to_o fall_v into_o rapt_n which_o will_v last_v long_o without_o his_o be_v able_a to_o forbear_v they_o but_o our_o lord_n give_v he_o at_o length_n the_o reward_n of_o the_o great_a service_n he_o have_v do_v he_o during_o his_o whole_a life_n of_o
the_o rectour_n of_o the_o society_n of_o jesus_n who_o i_o mention_v before_o i_o have_v see_v some_o thing_n concern_v great_a favour_n which_o our_o lord_n do_v he_o but_o i_o will_v not_o insert_v they_o here_o for_o fear_v of_o be_v too_o long_o there_o happen_v a_o great_a trouble_n to_o he_o once_o for_o he_o be_v persecute_v and_o find_v himself_o great_o afflict_v and_o i_o hear_v mass_n one_o day_n see_v christ_n our_o lord_n upon_o the_o cross_n just_a then_o when_o the_o priest_n elevate_v the_o sacred_a host_n and_o he_o speak_v certain_a word_n to_o i_o wherewith_o i_o be_v to_o acquaint_v he_o for_o his_o comfort_n and_o other_o also_o he_o speak_v by_o way_n of_o prevention_n of_o some_o future_a inconvenience_n which_o may_v arrive_v and_o he_o represent_v also_o to_o he_o how_o much_o himself_o have_v suffer_v for_o his_o sake_n and_o that_o therefore_o he_o shall_v prepare_v himself_o to_o suffer_v and_o this_o give_v he_o both_o much_o comfort_n and_o much_o courage_n and_o all_o happen_v to_o he_o just_a so_o as_o our_o bless_a lord_n have_v foretell_v of_o the_o religious_a of_o a_o certain_a order_n yea_o and_o of_o that_o whole_a order_n together_o i_o have_v see_v great_a thing_n for_o i_o have_v see_v they_o sometime_o in_o heaven_n with_o white_a banner_n in_o their_o hand_n &_o i_o have_v see_v as_o i_o be_v say_v other_o thing_n of_o great_a admiration_n and_o according_o i_o have_v this_o order_n in_o much_o veneration_n for_o i_o have_v treat_v and_o communicate_v with_o they_o much_o and_o i_o see_v that_o their_o life_n be_v agreeable_a to_o that_o which_o our_o bless_a lord_n have_v give_v i_o to_o understand_v concern_v they_o i_o be_v one_o night_n in_o prayer_n our_o lord_n begin_v to_o utter_v some_o word_n to_o i_o which_o bring_v i_o to_o remember_v how_o wicked_a my_o life_n have_v be_v and_o they_o give_v i_o confusion_n and_o pain_n enough_o for_o although_o they_o import_v not_o any_o rigour_n yet_o they_o endue_v i_o with_o such_o a_o tender_a kind_n of_o feeling_n and_o grief_n that_o the_o soul_n be_v even_o dissolve_v by_o it_o and_o we_o use_v in_o such_o case_n to_o find_v more_o benefit_n in_o the_o way_n of_o know_v out_o self_n by_o some_o one_o such_o word_n as_o these_o than_o we_o be_v able_a to_o acquire_v in_o many_o day_n by_o our_o own_o consideration_n of_o our_o misery_n for_o it_o bring_v such_o a_o truth_n to_o be_v even_o engrave_v in_o our_o soul_n as_o we_o can_v possible_o deny_v he_o represent_v to_o i_o also_o those_o inclination_n of_o i_o which_o i_o have_v former_o entertain_v towards_o creature_n with_o so_o much_o vanity_n and_o tell_v i_o that_o i_o be_v to_o put_v a_o great_a value_n upon_o the_o desire_n which_o he_o have_v that_o i_o will_v lodge_v all_o my_o affection_n upon_o he_o which_o former_o i_o have_v employ_v so_o ill_o since_o he_o will_v accept_v thereof_o at_o other_o time_n he_o bid_v i_o remember_v that_o former_o i_o have_v sometime_o esteem_v it_o for_o a_o point_n of_o honour_n in_o i_o to_o go_v against_o his_o honour_n and_o yet_o at_o other_o time_n that_o i_o shall_v remember_v how_o much_o i_o owe_v he_o for_o that_o i_o use_v to_o commit_v the_o great_a offence_n against_o he_o whilst_o he_o use_v to_o be_v do_v i_o favour_n if_o i_o have_v any_o fault_n which_o be_v not_o few_o our_o lord_n give_v they_o so_o to_o be_v understand_v by_o i_o at_o those_o time_n that_o it_o make_v i_o even_o as_o it_o be_v annihilate_v myself_o and_o because_o i_o have_v many_o fault_n he_o use_v i_o so_o many_o time_n it_o happen_v to_o i_o once_o that_o a_o ghostile_a father_n reprehend_v i_o and_o when_o i_o think_v to_o comfort_v myself_o in_o prayer_n it_o be_v there_o that_o i_o find_v indeed_o my_o true_a reprehension_n but_o now_o to_o return_v to_o that_o which_o i_o be_v say_v when_o our_o lord_n begin_v to_o bring_v my_o wicked_a life_n to_o my_o remembrance_n which_o cost_v i_o a_o world_n of_o tear_n and_o when_o i_o also_o consider_v that_o i_o have_v do_v no_o good_a thing_n late_o which_o may_v even_o in_o my_o opinion_n deserve_v his_o favour_n i_o begin_v to_o consider_v a_o while_n whether_o he_o may_v not_o perhaps_o intend_v some_o new_a expression_n of_o goodness_n to_o i_o because_o whensoever_o i_o find_v myself_o receive_v any_o particular_a favour_n from_o our_o lord_n it_o be_v ordinary_o after_o i_o have_v even_o defeat_v and_o annihilate_v myself_o and_o i_o conceive_v that_o our_o lord_n proceed_v thus_o with_o i_o to_o the_o end_n that_o i_o may_v see_v the_o more_o clear_o how_o far_o i_o be_o out_o of_o the_o way_n of_o deserue_v his_o favour_n short_o after_o this_o my_o spirit_n be_v so_o absorb_v and_o snatch_v away_o that_o in_o effect_n it_o seem_v to_o be_v absolute_o out_o of_o my_o body_n at_o least_o it_o be_v not_o understand_v that_o it_o live_v in_o it_o and_o then_o i_o see_v the_o most_o sacred_a humanity_n of_o our_o bless_a lord_n in_o much_o more_o excessive_a glory_n than_o ever_o i_o have_v discern_v before_o now_o this_o be_v represent_v to_o i_o by_o a_o certain_a admirable_a and_o clear_a notice_n of_o his_o be_v place_v in_o the_o very_a bosom_n of_o his_o father_n nor_o yet_o do_v i_o know_v what_o to_o say_v of_o how_o this_o be_v for_o it_o seem_v to_o i_o that_o i_o see_v myself_o present_a before_o that_o very_a divinity_n and_o yet_o without_o see_v myself_o and_o i_o remain_v so_o amaze_v and_o every_o way_n indeed_o in_o such_o sort_n that_o i_o think_v there_o pass_v some_o day_n before_o i_o be_v able_a to_o return_v to_o myself_o for_o still_o i_o be_v conceave_a that_o i_o have_v the_o majesty_n of_o the_o son_n of_o god_n present_a with_o i_o though_o it_o be_v not_o yet_o like_o the_o former_a for_o this_o i_o understand_v well_o enough_o but_o how_o soever_o it_o remain_v so_o engrave_v in_o my_o imagination_n that_o i_o can_v be_v ride_v of_o it_o how_o short_a soever_o the_o time_n be_v wherein_o it_o be_v represent_v to_o i_o and_o this_o be_v matter_n both_o of_o great_a comfort_n and_o of_o great_a benefit_n to_o my_o soul_n now_o i_o have_v see_v this_o very_a vision_n at_o three_o other_o time_n and_o this_o in_o my_o opinion_n be_v absolute_o the_o most_o sublime_a vision_n which_o ever_o our_o bless_a lord_n give_v i_o and_o it_o bring_v the_o great_a improvement_n and_o profit_n with_o it_o for_o it_o seem_v that_o the_o soul_n be_v great_o purify_v by_o it_o and_o that_o it_o do_v utter_o take_v away_o all_o strength_n from_o the_o sensuality_n of_o our_o self-love_n it_o be_v a_o vehement_a flame_n which_o seem_v to_o burn_v up_o and_o even_o annihilate_v all_o the_o desire_n of_o this_o life_n and_o since_o god_n be_v bless_v for_o it_o i_o have_v already_o no_o inclination_n to_o idle_a and_o impertinent_a thing_n it_o be_v here_o declare_v to_o i_o in_o distinct_a manner_n that_o all_o be_v vanity_n and_o in_o particular_a how_o vain_a all_o the_o superiority_n and_o signory_n of_o this_o world_n be_v and_o it_o fall_v out_o also_o to_o be_v of_o mighty_a instruction_n for_o the_o raising-up_a of_o our_o desire_n to_o be_v lodge_v upon_o the_o purity_n of_o truth_n and_o there_o remain_v a_o high_a kind_n of_o adoration_n and_o reverence_n of_o god_n imprint_v after_o a_o certain_a manner_n which_o i_o know_v not_o how_o to_o describe_v but_o it_o be_v of_o a_o very_a different_a kind_n from_o whatsoever_o we_o can_v acquire_v in_o this_o world_n it_o create_v also_o a_o huge_a amazement_n in_o the_o soul_n to_o consider_v how_o she_o ever_o dare_v or_o how_o any_o creature_n can_v presume_v so_o far_o as_o to_o think_v of_o offend_v such_o a_o supreme_a majesty_n of_o almighty_a god_n i_o have_v declare_v sometime_o heretofore_o the_o effect_n of_o vision_n and_o such_o other_o thing_n but_o i_o have_v also_o say_v already_o that_o a_o soul_n receave_v more_o or_o less_o profit_n according_a to_o the_o proportion_n and_o manner_n of_o the_o vision_n as_o the_o same_o may_v be_v either_o more_o or_o less_o but_o in_o this_o it_o be_v extraordinary_o great_a when_o i_o come_v to_o receive_v the_o bless_a sacrament_n and_o i_o do_v then_o record_v to_o myself_o that_o incomparable_a majesty_n which_o i_o have_v see_v and_o understand_v to_o be_v the_o very_a same_o which_o be_v in_o this_o most_o holy_a sacrament_n and_o many_o time_n our_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o let_v i_o see_v he_o in_o the_o sacred_a host_n where_o upon_o the_o very_a hair_n of_o my_o head_n will_v stand_v on_o end_n and_o i_o thought_n i_o be_v even_o annihilate_v outtight_n o_o my_o dear_a lord_n and_o if_o thou_o do_v
vow_n of_o his_o profession_n the_o bull_n grant_v in_o favour_n of_o his_o order_n have_v avail_v he_o towards_o his_o escape_n of_o purgatory_n now_o i_o know_v not_o why_o this_o be_v give_v to_o be_v understand_v by_o i_o but_o i_o think_v it_o may_v be_v very_o well_o to_o make_v i_o know_v that_o a_o man_n be_v a_o religious_a man_n do_v not_o consist_v only_o in_o his_o habit_n i_o mean_v not_o in_o the_o only_o wear_v it_o as_o if_o that_o very_a thing_n do_v endue_v he_o with_o more_o perfection_n i_o will_v now_o relate_v no_o more_o of_o these_o thing_n for_o there_o be_v no_o great_a cause_n why_o i_o shall_v though_o yet_o our_o bless_a lord_n have_v do_v i_o the_o favour_n to_o show_v i_o very_o many_a but_o among_o all_o those_o soul_n which_o i_o have_v see_v i_o have_v not_o understand_v of_o any_o one_o which_o escape_v the_o go_v at_o all_o into_o purgatory_n but_o only_o this_o last_o father_n and_o that_o holy_a man_n fray_n pedro_n de_fw-fr alcantara_n and_o that_o dominican_n father_n of_o who_o i_o speak_v before_o our_o lord_n have_v also_o be_v please_v to_o let_v i_o see_v the_o several_a degree_n which_o they_o have_v of_o glory_n by_o represent_v the_o place_n to_o i_o wherein_o they_o be_v and_o i_o find_v that_o there_o be_v a_o great_a deal_n of_o difference_n between_o some_o and_o other_o the_o nine_o and_o their_o tieth_n chapter_n she_o proceed_v in_o the_o same_o subject_n of_o show_v the_o great_a favour_n which_o our_o lord_n have_v do_v she_o and_o she_o declare_v how_o he_o be_v please_v to_o promise_v his_o favour_n to_o they_o for_o who_o she_o shall_v beg_v it_o and_o she_o relate_v some_o important_a particular_n wherein_o his_o divine_a majesty_n have_v do_v her_o particular_a favour_n of_o this_o kind_n be_v once_o very_o importunate_a with_o our_o bless_a lord_n that_o he_o will_v be_v please_v to_o give_v sight_n to_o a_o certain_a person_n to_o who_o i_o have_v obligation_n and_o who_o be_v almost_o grow_v to_o be_v utter_o blind_a i_o have_v much_o compassion_n on_o he_o and_o i_o fear_v lest_o our_o lord_n will_v not_o hear_v i_o in_o regard_n of_o my_o sin_n but_o yet_o he_o appear_v to_o i_o then_o as_o he_o have_v also_o do_v at_o other_o time_n and_o begin_v to_o show_v i_o the_o wound_n of_o his_o left_a hand_n and_o with_o his_o right_a hand_n he_o draw_v out_o the_o great_a nail_n which_o have_v be_v thrust_v into_o it_o and_o i_o thought_n that_o some_o of_o the_o very_a flesh_n come_v out_o with_o the_o nail_n i_o see_v well_o how_o great_a pain_n it_o do_v import_v and_o it_o afflict_v i_o much_o but_o he_o tell_v i_o that_o since_o he_o have_v endure_v so_o much_o for_o my_o sake_n i_o shall_v not_o doubt_v but_o that_o he_o will_v more_o easy_o be_v draw_v to_o harken_v to_o this_o suit_n of_o i_o and_o so_o he_o promise_v that_o he_o will_v grant_v whatsoever_o i_o shall_v desire_v but_o he_o know_v very_o well_o already_o that_o i_o will_v beg_v nothing_o of_o he_o but_o only_o to_o his_o own_o honour_n and_o glory_n and_o that_o i_o make_v this_o present_a suit_n under_o that_o condition_n he_o will_v i_o also_o to_o remember_v and_o consider_v that_o even_o when_o i_o do_v he_o not_o true_a service_n i_o have_v not_o desire_v any_o thing_n of_o he_o which_o he_o have_v not_o grant_v even_o better_o than_o myself_o have_v desire_v and_o therefore_o how_o much_o more_o will_v he_o be_v sure_a enough_o to_o do_v it_o now_o when_o he_o know_v i_o love_v he_o and_o therefore_o that_o i_o shall_v banish_v all_o doubt_n and_o i_o think_v eight_o day_n do_v not_o pass_v but_o that_o our_o lord_n restore_v sight_n to_o that_o person_n and_o this_o be_v present_o know_v by_o my_o ghostly_a father_n now_o peradventure_o as_o i_o think_v at_o first_o this_o do_v not_o happen_v by_o mean_n of_o any_o prayer_n of_o i_o though_o yet_o since_o i_o see_v this_o vision_n i_o have_v remain_v with_o some_o little_a certainty_n that_o the_o thing_n be_v do_v by_o the_o favour_n of_o his_o divine_a majesty_n to_o i_o and_o according_o i_o have_v present_v he_o with_o my_o thanks_n another_o time_n there_o be_v a_o person_n sick_a of_o a_o very_a painful_a infirmity_n which_o because_o it_o be_v of_o a_o odd_a condition_n and_o way_n i_o forbear_v to_o particularize_v it_o here_o but_o it_o be_v a_o kind_n of_o insupportable_a thing_n and_o he_o have_v be_v trouble_v with_o it_o two_o month_n but_o he_o endure_v a_o torment_n by_o it_o which_o do_v even_o tear_v he_o in_o piece_n now_o my_o ghostly_a father_n go_v to_o visit_v he_o and_o that_o be_v the_o rectour_n of_o the_o college_n of_o who_o i_o speak_v and_o he_o have_v great_a compassion_n of_o the_o man_n and_o tell_v i_o that_o in_o any_o case_n i_o must_v also_o go_v &_o give_v he_o a_o visit_n for_o that_o he_o be_v a_o person_n to_o who_o i_o may_v handsome_o do_v it_o in_o regard_n that_o he_o be_v my_o kinsman_n i_o go_v and_o have_v so_o much_o pity_n of_o he_o that_o i_o begin_v to_o beg_v his_o health_n of_o our_o lord_n after_o a_o very_a importunate_a manner_n and_o in_o this_o i_o see_v clear_o by_o the_o very_a uttermost_a of_o what_o i_o be_o able_a to_o imagine_v how_o much_o favour_n our_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o do_v i_o therein_o for_o instant_o upon_o the_o very_a next_o day_n he_o be_v absolute_o well_o i_o be_v once_o in_o a_o great_a deal_n of_o trouble_n because_o i_o come_v to_o know_v that_o a_o certain_a person_n to_o who_o i_o be_v much_o oblige_v be_v resolve_v to_o do_v a_o thing_n which_o be_v great_o against_o the_o honour_n both_o of_o almighty_a god_n and_o himself_o and_o yet_o he_o be_v very_o much_o bend_v to_o do_v the_o thing_n now_o my_o trouble_n for_o this_o be_v so_o great_a that_o i_o know_v not_o which_o way_n to_o find_v remedy_n and_o mean_n to_o make_v he_o leave_v it_o and_o indeed_o it_o rather_o seem_v that_o there_o be_v none_o but_o then_o i_o beseech_v almighty_a god_n and_o that_o with_o my_o whole_a hart_n that_o he_o will_v help_v we_o and_o till_o i_o can_v find_v it_o do_v i_o shall_v be_v in_o pain_n be_v therefore_o now_o in_o this_o case_n i_o go_v to_o a_o certain_a oratory_n a_o little_a remore_n from_o where_o i_o be_v for_o there_o be_v diverse_a such_o in_o this_o monastery_n and_o find_v a_o picture_n of_o christ_n our_o lord_n as_o he_o be_v bind_v to_o the_o pillar_n i_o humble_o beg_v of_o his_o divine_a majesty_n to_o do_v i_o that_o favour_n and_o present_o i_o hear_v one_o speak_v to_o i_o in_o a_o most_o sweet_a voice_n but_o it_o be_v frame_v as_o if_o it_o have_v be_v in_o the_o manner_n of_o whistle_v for_o my_o part_n i_o be_v all_o in_o a_o fright_n and_o the_o very_a hair_n of_o my_o head_n stand_v a_o end_n and_o i_o have_v a_o great_a desire_n to_o hear_v what_o it_o say_v to_o i_o but_o when_o once_o my_o fear_n be_v go_v which_o be_v also_o quick_o i_o remain_v with_o rest_n and_o joy_n and_o so_o great_a a_o interior_a kind_n of_o delight_n that_o it_o amaze_v i_o how_o the_o only_o hear_v of_o a_o voice_n and_o that_o with_o the_o only_o ear_n of_o flesh_n and_o blood_n yea_o and_o without_o the_o articulation_n or_o frame_v of_o any_o one_o word_n be_v able_a to_o produce_v so_o powerful_a a_o operation_n in_o the_o soul_n but_o in_o the_o mean_a time_n i_o find_v even_o thereby_o that_o the_o thing_n which_o i_o have_v desire_v shall_v be_v do_v and_o so_o it_o be_v and_o the_o pain_n wherein_o i_o find_v myself_o concern_v it_o be_v utter_o remove_v in_o a_o thing_n which_o be_v not_o yet_o as_o if_o i_o have_v find_v it_o to_o be_v certain_o grant_v as_o it_o happen_v to_o be_v afterward_o and_o i_o relate_v the_o whole_a accident_n to_o my_o confessor_n who_o at_o that_o time_n be_v two_o and_o they_o both_o be_v very_o learned_a man_n and_o the_o servant_n of_o almighty_a god_n i_o know_v also_o of_o a_o certain_a person_n who_o have_v resolve_v to_o serve_v his_o divine_a majesty_n in_o very_o good_a earnest_n and_o he_o have_v use_v prayer_n some_o day_n and_o therein_o his_o divine_a majesty_n have_v do_v he_o many_o favour_n and_o yet_o he_o gave-ove_a his_o course_n of_o prayer_n upon_o certain_a occasion_n which_o occur_v to_o he_o and_o those_o he_o do_v not_o quit_v although_o they_o be_v full_a of_o danger_n this_o put_v i_o to_o a_o great_a deal_n of_o pain_n because_o the_o man_n who_o the_o matter_n concern_v be_v a_o person_n who_o both_o i_o love_v much_o and_o who_o i_o also_o be_v much_o oblige_v to_o love_n
time_n to_o understand_v thing_n but_o just_a so_o as_o we_o have_v a_o mind_n to_o understand_v they_o ourselves_o and_o even_o they_o be_v wrest_v much_o from_o the_o true_a sense_n and_o so_o we_o also_o do_v in_o thing_n of_o this_o world_n and_o we_o will_v needs_o make_v ourselves_o believe_v that_o we_o must_v tax_v even_o our_o own_o profit_n in_o spirit_n according_a to_o the_o measure_n of_o the_o time_n wherein_o we_o have_v have_v any_o exercise_n of_o prayer_n nay_o it_o seem_v that_o we_o have_v have_v a_o mind_n to_o put_v a_o tax_n and_o limit_n upon_o he_o who_o by_o no_o mean_n will_v be_v subject_a to_o any_o when_o there_o be_v question_n of_o impart_v his_o favour_n which_o he_o be_v wont_a to_o dispose_v when_o he_o will_v and_o who_o can_v impart_v more_o benediction_n to_o one_o in_o six_o month_n then_o to_o another_o in_o a_o great_a multitude_n of_o year_n and_o this_o be_v a_o most_o certain_a truth_n which_o i_o have_v see_v so_o express_o verify_v even_o with_o my_o very_a eye_n upon_o the_o instance_n of_o many_o person_n that_o i_o wonder_v how_o we_o can_v so_o much_o as_o detain_v ourselves_o in_o the_o least_o doubt_n thereof_o but_o i_o be_o very_o apt_a to_o believe_v that_o a_o man_n who_o have_v any_o talon_n in_o try_v and_o know_v spirit_n and_o to_o who_o our_o bless_a lord_n shall_v have_v give_v true_a humility_n will_v not_o be_v able_a to_o fall_v and_o continue_v in_o this_o error_n for_o such_o a_o man_n will_v judge_v of_o thing_n by_o the_o effect_n and_o by_o the_o strong_a purpose_n and_o firm_a resolution_n and_o love_n of_o the_o party_n who_o be_v chief_o concern_v and_o beside_o our_o lord_n be_v wont_a to_o give_v such_o a_o person_n light_n whereby_o he_o may_v be_v able_a to_o understand_v it_o and_o by_o that_o very_a light_n he_o also_o discern_v the_o profit_v and_o proceed_v forward_o of_o soul_n and_o not_o by_o the_o number_n of_o year_n wherein_o they_o have_v attend_v to_o these_o thing_n because_o some_o one_o soul_n may_v as_o i_o say_v before_o have_v obtain_v that_o in_o six_o month_n which_o another_o shall_v not_o have_v be_v able_a to_o get_v in_o twenty_o year_n for_o as_o i_o say_v also_o before_o our_o lord_n bestow_v those_o thing_n to_o who_o he_o will_v and_o common_o he_o do_v it_o to_o such_o as_o dispose_v themselves_o best_a to_o receive_v they_o and_o in_o proof_n hereof_o i_o see_v that_o there_o come_v now_o to_o this_o house_n of_o we_o certain_a gentlewoman_n and_o lady_n who_o be_v very_o young_a and_o yet_o when_o our_o bless_a lord_n vouchsafe_v once_o to_o touch_v their_o heart_n and_o to_o give_v they_o a_o little_a light_n and_o love_n and_o when_o in_o a_o very_a short_a time_n he_o be_v please_v to_o allow_v and_o impart_v some_o regalo_n and_o gust_n of_o spirit_n to_o they_o they_o have_v not_o stay_v and_o pawse_v nor_o be_v any_o difficulty_n able_a to_o offer_v itself_o against_o they_o which_o can_v stop_n they_o but_o they_o will_v be_v go_v on_o without_o so_o much_o as_o remember_v that_o they_o be_v to_o live_v by_o eat_v their_o meat_n and_o they_o shut_v themselves_o up_o for_o ever_o in_o a_o house_n without_o have_v so_o much_o as_o any_o revenue_n upon_o which_o to_o live_v like_o person_n who_o put_v no_o manner_n of_o esteem_n upon_o any_o thing_n of_o this_o world_n for_o the_o love_n of_o he_o who_o they_o know_v love_v they_o and_o they_o give_v over_o even_o all_o thing_n all_o at_o once_o nor_o have_v they_o any_o will_n at_o all_o which_o be_v mere_o their_o own_o nor_o do_v they_o understand_v it_o to_o be_v possible_a that_o ever_o they_o can_v receive_v disgust_n by_o endure_v such_o a_o straight_o shut_v up_o but_o all_o of_o they_o offer-up_a their_o whole_a self_n in_o sacrifice_n to_o the_o honour_n and_o glory_n of_o almighty_a god_n and_o now_o how_o willing_o and_o just_o do_v i_o allow_v they_o to_o have_v get_v the_o start_n of_o i_o herein_o and_o how_o mighty_o ought_v i_o to_o be_v ashamed_a and_o even_o confound_v in_o the_o presence_n of_o almighty_a god_n to_o see_v that_o what_o his_o divine_a majesty_n can_v not_o finish_v in_o my_o soul_n through_o my_o fault_n in_o such_o a_o multitude_n of_o year_n since_o i_o use_v prayer_n and_o wherein_o he_o begin_v to_o do_v i_o favour_n he_o have_v yet_o be_v able_a to_o accomplish_v in_o they_o within_o three_o month_n yea_o and_o even_o with_o some_o of_o they_o in_o three_o day_n with_o do_v they_o also_o far_o less_o favour_n then_o to_o i_o though_o yet_o withal_o it_o be_v very_o true_a that_o our_o bless_a lord_n pay_v they_o so_o well_o for_o their_o pain_n that_o they_o be_v all_o very_o far_o from_o be_v sorry_a to_o have_v do_v whatsoever_o they_o have_v do_v for_o the_o love_n of_o he_o for_o this_o purpose_n i_o can_v wish_v that_o we_o may_v call_v to_o mind_n how_o many_o year_n they_o be_v since_o we_o make_v our_o profession_n and_o have_v use_v mental_a prayer_n not_o yet_o for_o the_o give_v they_o any_o trouble_n by_o make_v they_o turn_v back_o who_o have_v make_v a_o great_a deal_n of_o way_n in_o a_o short_a time_n and_o to_o get_v they_o to_o go_v but_o our_o pace_n which_o be_v as_o much_o as_o it_o will_v be_v to_o make_v they_o who_o fly_v like_o eagle_n through_o the_o favour_n which_o it_o have_v please_v almighty_a god_n to_o do_v they_o to_o walk_v the_o slow_a dull_a pace_n of_o a_o shackle_a hen_n but_o to_o the_o end_n that_o we_o may_v grow_v to_o carry_v the_o honour_n of_o his_o divine_a majesty_n in_o our_o eye_n and_o then_o if_o we_o find_v these_o sister_n of_o we_o to_o be_v humble_a who_o we_o see_v to_o be_v so_o forward_o in_o the_o way_n of_o spirit_n that_o we_o shall_v give_v they_o still_o the_o reins_n for_o certain_o our_o bless_a lord_n who_o have_v do_v they_o so_o great_a favour_n already_o will_v never_o suffer_v they_o to_o break_v their_o neck_n by_o fall_v down_o as_o from_o some_o dangerous_a rock_n they_o commit_v and_o trust_v themselves_o in_o the_o hand_n of_o almighty_a god_n for_o this_o benefit_n do_v they_o reap_v by_o the_o truth_n which_o faith_n teach_v they_o and_o shall_v not_o we_o also_o trust_v they_o there_o but_o document_n must_v we_o limit_v and_o confine_v they_o by_o our_o narrow_a measure_n according_a to_o the_o meanness_n &_o straightness_n of_o our_o own_o poor_a mind_n no_o no_o this_o must_v not_o be_v but_o rather_o if_o ourselves_o can_v arrive_v to_o be_v owner_n of_o those_o strong_a affection_n and_o firm_a resolution_n which_o abound_v in_o they_o for_o these_o thing_n can_v be_v well_o understand_v without_o experience_n let_v we_o procure_v to_o humble_v ourselves_o and_o not_o condemn_v they_o for_o else_o by_o seem_v to_o have_v a_o care_n of_o their_o advantage_n and_o profit_n we_o shall_v deprive_v ourselves_o of_o our_o own_o and_o we_o shall_v also_o loose_v the_o occasion_n which_o our_o lord_n show_v we_o so_o fair_a for_o our_o own_o great_a humility_n and_o that_o we_o may_v the_o better_o understand_v how_o much_o be_v want_v to_o we_o as_o also_o how_o much_o more_o absolute_o those_o other_o soul_n be_v likely_a to_o be_v untie_v and_o free_v from_o worldly_a thing_n than_o we_o and_o how_o much_o near_o they_o be_v approach_v to_o almighty_a god_n than_o we_o since_o we_o see_v that_o his_o divine_a majesty_n be_v come_v so_o much_o close_o up_o towards_o they_o than_o us._n for_o my_o part_n i_o can_v understand_v no_o more_o in_o this_o case_n neither_o indeed_o have_v i_o any_o desire_n to_o understand_v more_o then_o that_o i_o have_v rather_o have_v such_o prayer_n as_o have_v be_v obtain_v and_o exercise_v but_o a_o short_a time_n may_v be_v find_v to_o have_v great_a effect_n and_o which_o instant_o appear_v for_o it_o be_v impossible_a that_o a_o creature_n shall_v be_v content_a to_o throw_v away_o a_o whole_a world_n at_o once_o upon_o the_o only_o reason_n of_o please_v almighty_a god_n without_o a_o mighty_a force_n of_o love_n than_o such_o a_o other_o kind_n of_o prayer_n as_o shall_v have_v continue_v many_o year_n and_o yet_o never_o in_o fine_a have_v make_v a_o end_n of_o resolve_v upon_o any_o more_o at_o the_o last_o then_o at_o the_o first_o to_o do_v aniething_fw-mi for_o the_o pure_a love_n of_o almighty_a god_n unless_o it_o be_v some_o poor_a little_a fiddle_v babble_n which_o be_v no_o big_a than_o a_o grain_n of_o salt_n which_o have_v neither_o bulk_n nor_o weight_n but_o be_v such_o as_o that_o any_o bird_n may_v be_v able_a to_o carry_v it_o away_o in_o her_o bill_n for_o i_o confess_v we_o hold_v it_o not_o for_o a_o matter_n
different_a kind_n be_v round_o about_o i_o which_o circle_v i_o in_o and_o it_o seem_v to_o i_o that_o cuerie_n one_o have_v offensive_a weapon_n in_o his_o hand_n wherewith_o to_o hurt_v i_o as_o lance_n sword_n and_o dagger_n and_o other_o have_v also_o long_a staff_n in_o a_o word_n i_o can_v not_o get_v from_o thence_o by_o any_o way_n or_o mean_n without_o danger_n of_o death_n especial_o be_v alone_o and_o not_o have_v any_o one_o creature_n to_o help_v i_o and_o be_v thus_o in_o so_o great_a affliction_n of_o spirit_n that_o i_o know_v not_o what_o to_o do_v i_o liftedup_a my_o eye_n towards_o heaven_n and_o see_v christ_n our_o lord_n not_o then_o in_o heaven_n but_o yet_o very_o high_a and_o far_o off_o from_o i_o in_o the_o air_n who_o reachtforth_o his_o hand_n towards_o i_o and_o favour_v i_o from_o thence_o in_o such_o sort_n that_o i_o fear_v neither_o all_o that_o other_o people_n nor_o yet_o these_o who_o all_o be_v unable_a to_o do_v i_o hurt_v how_o much_o soever_o they_o shall_v desire_v it_o this_o vision_n seem_v at_o the_o first_o sight_n to_o be_v without_o any_o fruit_n or_o good_a effect_n at_o all_o but_o it_o have_v yet_o do_v i_o a_o great_a deal_n of_o good_a because_o i_o have_v understand_v what_o it_o signify_v for_o i_o see_v myself_o in_o that_o encounter_n short_o after_o and_o know_v that_o it_o be_v nothing_o else_o but_o this_o vision_n and_o i_o also_o come_v to_o know_v it_o to_o be_v a_o very_a picture_n or_o rather_o map_n of_o the_o world_n for_o as_o many_o as_o be_v in_o it_o abstract_v ever_o from_o those_o few_o who_o apply_v themselves_o to_o do_v our_o lord_n particular_a service_n seem_v to_o carry_v arm_n against_o this_o wretched_a soul_n of_o we_o as_o namely_o honour_n estate_n delight_n and_o the_o like_a for_o it_o be_v evident_a that_o the_o soul_n be_v all_o overcast_v with_o a_o net_n before_o it_o be_v aware_a at_o least_o all_o these_o thing_n do_v the_o best_a they_o can_v to_o endanger_v and_o wrapp_v we_o up_o fast_o enough_o as_o namely_o friend_n kindred_n and_o which_o amaze_v i_o more_o even_o such_o as_o be_v virtuous_a people_n for_o i_o find_v myself_o afterward_o to_o be_v extreme_o press_v and_o even_o oppress_v by_o they_o they_o conceave_a in_o the_o mean_a time_n that_o they_o carry_v themselves_o very_o well_o but_o the_o while_n i_o know_v not_o at_o all_o either_o how_o to_o defend_v myself_o or_o what_o to_o do_v o_o my_o dear_a god_n and_o if_o now_o i_o shall_v stand_v to_o relate_v the_o kind_n and_o difference_n of_o those_o trouble_n which_o set_v upon_o i_o at_o that_o time_n even_o after_o all_o those_o other_o whereof_o i_o speak_v before_o how_o well_o may_v this_o be_v able_a to_o serve_v for_o a_o mean_n to_o make_v a_o man_n whole_o abhor_v all_o thing_n it_o be_v i_o think_v the_o very_o great_a persecution_n of_o all_o that_o ever_o i_o have_v endure_v for_o i_o feel_v myself_o at_o some_o time_n so_o straight_o set_v upon_o on_o all_o side_n that_o i_o only_o find_v remedy_n by_o lifting-up_a my_o eye_n to_o heaven_n and_o cry_v upon_o almighty_a god_n and_o i_o remember_v very_o well_o what_o i_o have_v see_v in_o this_o last_o vision_n of_o i_o and_o it_o do_v i_o a_o great_a deal_n of_o good_a towards_o a_o not_o put_v confidence_n in_o any_o creature_n for_o there_o be_v no_o one_o of_o they_o firm_a and_o stable_n but_o only_o god_n alone_o be_v entire_o and_o true_o so_o but_o in_o these_o great_a affliction_n our_o lord_n have_v ever_o use_v to_o send_v i_o some_o person_n or_o other_o who_o in_o his_o name_n may_v lend_v i_o his_o hand_n as_o he_o signify_v to_o i_o that_o he_o will_v and_o as_o he_o do_v also_o let_v i_o see_v in_o this_o last_o vision_n and_o so_o i_o tie_v not_o myself_o to_o any_o thing_n but_o only_o to_o please_v our_o bless_a lord_n and_o this_o have_v serve_v to_o sustain_v this_o poor_a little_a virtue_n which_o i_o have_v in_o desire_v to_o serve_v he_o and_o let_v he_o be_v bless_v for_o ever_o but_o find_v myself_o once_o very_o unquiet_a and_o in_o great_a disorder_n yea_o and_o in_o skirmish_n or_o rather_o in_o a_o very_a battle_n without_o be_v able_a to_o recollect_v myself_o yea_o and_o my_o thought_n be_v scatter_v and_o disperse_v upon_o thing_n which_o be_v not_o very_o perfect_a and_o withal_o not_o seem_v to_o be_v so_o utter_o untie_v from_o all_o thing_n as_o i_o use_v and_o be_v still_o so_o wicked_a as_o i_o be_v i_o grow_v afraid_a that_o the_o favour_n which_o our_o bless_a lord_n have_v do_v i_o may_v fallout_a to_o be_v illusion_n and_o in_o fine_a i_o then_o remain_v with_o a_o very_a great_a obscuritic_n of_o mind_n but_o now_o whilst_o i_o be_v in_o this_o pain_n our_o lord_n begin_v to_o speak_v to_o i_o and_o tell_v i_o that_o i_o must_v not_o be_v thus_o afflict_v but_o that_o find_v myself_o in_o that_o case_n i_o may_v well_o understand_v even_o thereby_o in_o how_o great_a misery_n i_o must_v remain_v if_o once_o he_o shall_v depart_v from_o i_o and_o that_o there_o be_v to_o be_v no_o security_n at_o all_o as_o long_o as_o we_o shall_v continue_v in_o this_o world_n i_o be_v also_o give_v to_o understand_v how_o well_o our_o labour_n be_v employ_v in_o this_o strife_n and_o war_n since_o it_o will_v not_o fail_v to_o be_v follow_v with_o so_o high_a a_o reward_n and_o i_o think_v our_o bless_a lord_n have_v compassion_n of_o they_o who_o live_v in_o this_o world_n but_o that_o i_o must_v not_o think_v that_o he_o have_v forget_v i_o yea_o and_o that_o he_o will_v never_o leave_v i_o but_o yet_o so_o as_o that_o still_o i_o must_v also_o do_v my_o part_n in_o help_v myself_o and_o this_o do_v our_o bless_a lord_n declare_v to_o i_o with_o a_o kind_n of_o tender_a compassion_n and_o regalo_n accompany_v with_o certain_a word_n whereby_o so_o high_a favour_n be_v do_v i_o as_o i_o need_v not_o stand_v here_o to_o relate_v and_o these_o other_o which_o follow_v here_o now_o his_o divine_a majesty_n say_v also_o often_o to_o i_o with_o demonstration_n of_o most_o particular_a love_n thou_o be_v now_o grow_v to_o be_v i_o and_o i_o be_o thou_o and_o those_o word_n which_o i_o be_o ever_o wont_a to_o say_v and_o to_o my_o think_n i_o say_v they_o with_o much_o truth_n be_v these_o which_o follow_v what_o care_v i_o o_o my_o lord_n for_o myself_o but_o only_o for_o thou_o but_o i_o confess_v those_o word_n of_o he_o to_o i_o be_v of_o great_a regalo_n to_o my_o hart_n though_o yet_o withal_o they_o be_v of_o excessive_a confusion_n when_o i_o remember_v what_o kind_n of_o creature_n i_o be_o but_o hart_n it_o seem_v that_o i_o have_v need_n of_o more_o courage_n for_o the_o receive_n of_o those_o high_a favour_n then_o even_o for_o the_o endure_a of_o unspeakable_a affliction_n but_o now_o when_o these_o thing_n be_v in_o motion_n all_o the_o poor_a good_a action_n of_o my_o life_n be_v utter_o forget_v by_o i_o and_o then_o it_o be_v only_o represent_v to_o my_o mind_n how_o wicked_a i_o be_o and_o that_o without_o any_o discourse_n at_o all_o of_o my_o understanding_n so_o that_o even_o this_o also_o do_v seem_v at_o certain_a time_n to_o have_v somewhat_o of_o the_o supernatural_a in_o it_o sometime_o there_o come_v also_o upon_o i_o so_o earnest_a and_o even_o eager_a appetite_n of_o receive_v the_o bless_a sacrament_n that_o i_o know_v not_o whether_o it_o can_v be_v possible_a for_o i_o to_o express_v they_o to_o the_o full_a it_o happen_v to_o i_o one_o morning_n that_o it_o rain_v so_o extreme_o as_o to_o seem_v no_o way_n fit_a for_o i_o to_o go_v out_o of_o door_n but_o yet_o be_v once_o get_v abroad_o i_o be_v already_o grow_v also_o to_o be_v so_o far_o out_o of_o myself_o through_o that_o desire_n of_o communicate_v that_o although_o they_o have_v set_v lance_n even_o point_v and_o hold_v fast_o against_o my_o very_a breast_n i_o think_v i_o can_v have_v pass_v even_o through_o they_o all_o and_o how_o much_o more_o then_o through_o water_n and_o as_o soon_o as_o i_o arrive_v at_o church_n i_o be_v take_v with_o a_o very_a great_a rapt_v for_o i_o think_v the_o very_a heaven_n be_v open_a and_o not_o by_o one_o overture_n only_o as_o i_o have_v see_v it_o at_o other_o time_n and_o i_o see_v another_o also_o above_o that_o upon_o which_o i_o understand_v by_o way_n of_o a_o certain_a notice_n which_o i_o be_o not_o able_a to_o express_v the_o divinity_n itself_o to_o be_v though_o yet_o i_o see_v not_o the_o divinity_n and_o i_o think_v it_o be_v uphold_v by_o certain_a mysterious_a beast_n and_o i_o be_v
consider_v whether_o they_o be_v not_o those_o of_o the_o evangelist_n but_o yet_o i_o neither_o see_v how_o the_o throne_n be_v seat_v nor_o who_o be_v sit_v in_o it_o but_o only_o a_o great_a multitude_n of_o angel_n about_o it_o which_o seem_v to_o i_o of_o much_o more_o beauty_n beyond_o comparison_n than_o those_o other_o which_o i_o have_v see_v in_o heaven_n before_o and_o i_o have_v be_v think_v whether_o they_o may_v not_o have_v be_v seraphin_n or_o cherubin_n for_o they_o be_v very_o different_a in_o point_n of_o glory_n and_o they_o seem_v to_o be_v mighty_o inflame_v and_o as_o for_o the_o glory_n which_o then_o i_o feel_v in_o myself_o it_o can_v neither_o be_v write_v nor_o speak_v nor_o be_v any_o one_o able_a even_o to_o think_v it_o but_o such_o as_o have_v be_v make_v partaker_n of_o it_o by_o see_v it_o but_o i_o understand_v that_o absolute_o all_o that_o which_o possible_o can_v be_v desire_v be_v there_o and_o that_o all_o together_o i_o there_o see_v nothing_o at_o all_o distinct_o but_o they_o tell_v i_o yet_o i_o know_v not_o even_o who_o they_o be_v that_o the_o thing_n which_o i_o may_v there_o be_v able_a to_o do_v be_v to_o understand_v that_o i_o can_v understand_v nothing_o but_o that_o i_o may_v see_v from_o thence_o the_o direct_a nothingnes_n of_o all_o thing_n in_o comparison_n of_o that_o and_o real_o it_o be_v very_o true_a that_o my_o soul_n from_o that_o time_n forward_o have_v find_v itself_o as_o if_o it_o be_v extreme_o affront_v and_o confound_v to_o observe_v that_o it_o be_v able_a to_o pause_v at_o all_o upon_o any_o thing_n create_v and_o how_o much_o more_o then_o to_o be_v affect_v either_o by_o it_o or_o to_o it_o for_o all_o thing_n seem_v to_o i_o ever_o since_o to_o be_v neither_o better_o nor_o more_o than_o the_o very_a nest_n of_o a_o ant._n but_o i_o communicate_v and_o be_v at_o mass_n though_o yet_o i_o know_v not_o how_o i_o can_v be_v so_o i_o conceive_v that_o the_o time_n have_v be_v very_o short_a and_o wonder_v when_o the_o clock_n strike_v and_o so_o find_v that_o it_o be_v two_o hour_n wherein_o i_o have_v remain_v in_o rapt_v and_o glory_n i_o be_v amaze_v after_o this_o to_o know_v how_o by_o approach_v so_o near_o to_o this_o fire_n which_o seem_v to_o come_v from_o above_o out_o of_o the_o true_a love_n of_o almighty_a god_n it_o be_v yet_o in_o no_o power_n of_o i_o at_o all_o to_o get_v the_o least_o spark_n thereof_o but_o only_o when_o his_o divine_a majesty_n be_v please_v to_o impart_v it_o for_o how_o much_o soever_o i_o desire_v it_o and_o how_o earnest_o soever_o i_o procure_v it_o and_o will_v defeat_v and_o even_o destroy_v myself_o for_o it_o there_o be_v yet_o no_o mean_n at_o all_o to_o obtain_v it_o but_o now_o this_o rapt_v of_o i_o seem_v even_o to_o have_v consume_v the_o fault_n and_o lukewarmnesse_n and_o misery_n of_o the_o old_a man_n as_o the_o phoenix_n be_v say_v to_o do_v herself_o out_o of_o who_o ash_n when_o she_o be_v burn_v spring_v another_o phoenix_n for_o just_a so_o do_v a_o soul_n become_v absolute_o a_o other_o kind_n of_o thing_n with_o desire_n whole_o different_a and_o with_o a_o courage_n so_o increase_v that_o now_o she_o seem_v not_o to_o be_v what_o she_o be_v before_o but_o now_o begin_v to_o walk_v with_o a_o new_a kind_n of_o purity_n in_o the_o way_n of_o our_o lord_n and_o i_o just_a then_o beseech_v his_o divine_a majesty_n that_o it_o may_v prove_v to_o be_v so_o in_o my_o case_n and_o that_o i_o may_v now_o at_o least_o begin_v as_o upon_o a_o new_a account_n to_o do_v he_o service_n he_o speak_v these_o word_n to_o i_o thou_o have_v make_v a_o good_a comparison_n and_o see_v that_o thou_o forget_v it_o not_o that_o so_o thou_o may_v ever_o procure_v to_o improve_v thyself_o and_o be_v once_o in_o the_o selfsame_a doubt_n whereof_o i_o speak_v even_o now_o whether_o these_o vision_n be_v of_o god_n or_o no_o our_o lord_n appear_v and_o speak_v these_o word_n to_o i_o with_o some_o rigour_n how_o long_o o_o you_o son_n of_o man_n will_v you_o continue_v to_o be_v hard_o of_o hart_n and_o he_o also_o will_v i_o then_o to_o examine_v myself_o well_o upon_o this_o one_o interrogatory_n whether_o i_o be_v entire_o give_v to_o he_o for_o his_o or_o no_o and_o that_o if_o i_o be_v give_v so_o and_o be_v so_o i_o shall_v believe_v that_o he_o will_v not_o suffer_v i_o to_o be_v lose_v and_o whereas_o i_o afflict_v myself_o much_o upon_o his_o utter_v that_o exclamation_n aforesaid_a he_o return_v with_o great_a tenderness_n and_o regalo_n and_o tell_v i_o that_o he_o will_v not_o have_v i_o afflict_v myself_o and_o that_o he_o know_v already_o that_o i_o for_o my_o part_n will_v not_o fail_v to_o apply_v myself_o whole_o to_o that_o which_o may_v be_v for_o his_o service_n and_o that_o so_o he_o will_v also_o do_v all_o that_o which_o i_o desire_v of_o he_o against_o illusion_n and_o so_o he_o be_v please_v to_o do_v that_o thing_n in_o particular_a which_o then_o i_o humble_o beg_v at_o his_o hand_n for_o he_o will_v i_o to_o look_v in_o upon_o the_o love_n which_o go_v increase_a daily_a in_o i_o for_o thereby_o i_o may_v best_o understand_v that_o the_o devil_n have_v no_o part_n in_o it_o and_o that_o i_o must_v not_o think_v almighty_a god_n will_v consent_v that_o the_o devil_n shall_v have_v so_o much_o power_n over_o the_o soul_n of_o his_o servant_n as_o to_o be_v able_a to_o give_v i_o such_o a_o claritie_n of_o understanding_n together_o with_o such_o a_o depth_n of_o repose_n of_o mind_n as_o i_o possess_v and_o he_o give_v i_o also_o further_o to_o understand_v that_o such_o and_o so_o many_o man_n have_v tell_v i_o that_o these_o visitation_n be_v of_o almighty_a god_n i_o shall_v do_v ill_a if_o i_o do_v not_o believe_v they_o be_v also_o another_o time_n in_o prayer_n upon_o s._n athanasius_n creed_n of_o quicumque_fw-la vult_fw-la &c_n &c_n i_o be_v give_v to_o understand_v the_o manner_n how_o there_o be_v one_o only_o god_n and_o three_o person_n and_o this_o in_o so_o perspicuous_a and_o clear_v a_o kind_n that_o i_o be_v no_o less_o comfort_v by_o it_o then_o amaze_v at_o it_o this_o also_o do_v i_o very_o much_o good_a towards_o the_o give_v i_o increase_v of_o knowledge_n concern_v the_o greatness_n of_o almighty_a god_n and_o of_o his_o wonder_n and_o for_o all_o such_o occasion_n also_o as_o wherein_o i_o think_v of_o the_o bless_a trinity_n or_o hear_v speech_n thereof_o and_o now_o i_o think_v i_o conceive_v how_o all_o that_o mystery_n stand_v very_o well_o and_o it_o content_v i_o much_o one_o day_n upon_o the_o assumption_n of_o our_o b._n lady_n the_o queen_n of_o the_o angel_n our_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o do_v i_o the_o favour_n in_o a_o certain_a rapt_v that_o her_o rise_n up_o into_o heaven_n be_v represent_v to_o i_o together_o with_o the_o solemnity_n and_o joy_n of_o that_o celestial_a court_n wherewith_o she_o be_v receive_v as_o also_o the_o place_n which_o she_o hold_v to_o tell_v what_o kind_n of_o thing_n this_o be_v i_o be_o no_o way_n able_a the_o glory_n which_o even_o my_o spirit_n have_v to_o see_v that_o she_o be_v so_o great_a be_v even_o extreme_a and_o i_o remain_v with_o great_a effect_n and_o improvement_n by_o it_o towards_o a_o wish_n of_o undergo_n yet_o great_a affliction_n for_o the_o love_n of_o our_o lord_n and_o so_o it_o also_o give_v i_o increase_v of_o desire_n to_o serve_v our_o b._n lady_n since_o both_o her_o dignity_n and_o merit_n be_v so_o great_a and_o be_v one_o day_n in_o a_o college_n of_o the_o society_n of_o jesus_n and_o the_o brother_n of_o that_o house_n be_v then_o in_o act_n of_o receive_v the_o b._n sacrament_n i_o see_v a_o very_a rich_a canopy_n over_o their_o head_n and_o this_o at_o two_o several_a time_n but_o yet_o when_o other_o communicate_v there_o i_o see_v it_o not_o the_o fourti_v chapter_n she_o proceed_v in_o the_o same_o discourse_n by_o relate_v the_o great_a favour_n which_o our_o lord_n show_v she_o whereby_o good_a instruction_n be_v to_o be_v get_v and_o with_o the_o end_n of_o this_o chapter_n she_o end_v also_o the_o discourse_n of_o her_o life_n be_v once_o in_o prayer_n the_o delight_n and_o gust_n which_o i_o feel_v within_o myself_o be_v so_o great_a and_o i_o find_v myself_o so_o unworthy_a of_o so_o high_a a_o favour_n that_o i_o begin_v upon_o that_o occasion_n to_o consider_v how_o much_o better_o i_o have_v deserve_v to_o possess_v that_o place_n in_o hell_n which_o be_v prepare_v for_o i_o for_o i_o can_v never_o forget_v in_o what_o manner_n i_o have_v see_v myself_o
beseech_v your_o reverence_n my_o good_a father_n to_o beg_v of_o almighty_a god_n that_o he_o will_v either_o take_v i_o quick_o to_o himself_o or_o else_o i_o beseech_v his_o divine_a majesty_n that_o he_o give_v i_o power_n to_o serve_v he_o in_o the_o mean_a time_n i_o humble_o beseech_v almighty_a god_n that_o what_o i_o have_v write_v here_o may_v be_v of_o some_o use_n to_o your_o reverence_n and_o i_o have_v not_o do_v it_o without_o some_o trouble_n in_o regard_n of_o the_o little_a convenience_n which_o i_o have_v but_o happy_a shall_v this_o trouble_n be_v if_o i_o have_v chance_v to_o hit_v any_o thing_n right_a and_o if_o our_o bless_a lord_n may_v receive_v some_o one_o only_a act_n of_o praise_n by_o occasion_n thereof_o i_o shall_v esteem_v myself_o to_o be_v full_o pay_v though_o your_o reverence_n shall_v burn_v it_o all_o immediate_o after_o and_o yet_o i_o can_v not_o wish_v that_o this_o shall_v happen_v till_o those_o three_o person_n have_v see_v it_o of_o who_o you_o know_v since_o they_o be_v and_o have_v be_v my_o ghostly_a father_n for_o if_o the_o thing_n be_v not_o right_a it_o will_v be_v fit_a that_o they_o give-ove_a the_o good_a opinion_n which_o they_o have_v of_o i_o and_o if_o on_o the_o other_o side_n thing_n go_v well_o i_o know_v that_o they_o be_v good_a and_o learned_a man_n and_o they_o can_v not_o be_v ignorant_a from_o whence_o it_o come_v and_o they_o will_v give_v he_o glory_n and_o praise_n who_o have_v do_v it_o though_o he_o have_v serve_v himself_o of_o i_o therein_o i_o beseech_v his_o divine_a majesty_n that_o he_o will_v ever_o keep_v your_o reverence_n in_o his_o holy_a hand_n and_o make_v you_o so_o great_a a_o saint_n as_o that_o you_o may_v with_o spirit_n and_o light_n illuminate_v this_o miserable_a creature_n who_o have_v so_o little_a of_o the_o humble_a in_o she_o and_o so_o much_o of_o the_o bold_a as_o that_o she_o have_v presume_v to_o write_v of_o these_o high_a thing_n i_o beseech_v our_o lord_n that_o i_o have_v not_o err_v therein_o whilst_o my_o aim_n and_o desire_n be_v to_o hit_v right_a and_o to_o obey_v and_o that_o in_o fine_a there_o may_v be_v somewhat_o for_o which_o our_o lord_n shall_v be_v praise_v for_o this_o be_v that_o great_a suit_n which_o i_o have_v make_v to_o he_o now_o these_o many_o year_n and_o since_o i_o have_v want_v work_n whereby_o to_o comply_v with_o this_o aim_n i_o have_v adventure_v upon_o commandment_n to_o see_v if_o i_o can_v put_v this_o irregular_a and_o confuse_a life_n of_o i_o into_o some_o order_n though_o yet_o without_o employ_v either_o any_o more_o attention_n or_o time_n then_o that_o which_o be_v mere_o necessary_a for_o write_v it_o and_o so_o i_o have_v only_o set_v those_o thing_n down_o which_o have_v occur_v to_o i_o and_o pass_v in_o i_o with_o all_o plainness_n and_o truth_n to_o the_o very_a uttermost_a of_o my_o endeavour_n and_o i_o humble_o beseech_v our_o bless_a lord_n that_o since_o he_o be_v so_o powerful_a as_o that_o if_o he_o will_v he_o can_v he_o may_v be_v please_v to_o make_v i_o whole_o hit_v the_o mark_n in_o performance_n of_o his_o holy_a will_n and_o not_o permit_v that_o this_o soul_n be_v lose_v which_o his_o divine_a majesty_n have_v be_v please_v by_o so_o many_o way_n and_o even_o cunning_a industry_n of_o he_o yea_o and_o that_o so_o many_o time_n to_o deliver_v and_o bring_v out_o of_o hell_n and_o to_o draw_v up_o so_o very_o close_o to_o himself_o amen_o benedictus_fw-la deus_fw-la this_o book_n be_v finish_v the_o first_o time_n in_o june_n in_o the_o year_n of_o our_o lord_n god_n 1562._o it_o be_v write_v then_o without_o distinction_n of_o chapter_n but_o afterward_o it_o be_v write_v by_o this_o glorious_a saint_n again_o and_o then_o it_o be_v divide_v into_o chapter_n and_o many_o thing_n also_o be_v add_v by_o she_o which_o happen_v afterward_o and_o particular_o that_o which_o concern_v the_o foundation_n of_o the_o monastery_n of_o s._n joseph_n of_o auila_n a_o letter_n write_v by_o the_o glorious_a s._n teresa_n to_o her_o ghostly_a father_n who_o have_v command_v she_o to_o write_v she_o own_o life_n for_o as_o much_o as_o may_v concern_v her_o manner_n of_o prayer_n and_o the_o favour_n which_o our_o lord_n have_v show_v she_o and_o this_o letter_n do_v she_o send_v to_o he_o together_o with_o the_o book_n itself_o the_o holie-ghost_n be_v always_o with_o your_o reverence_n amen_n it_o will_v not_o be_v amiss_o even_o almost_o to_o exaggerate_v the_o service_n which_o now_o i_o be_o do_v to_o your_o reverence_n that_o so_o you_o may_v even_o hold_v yourself_o to_o be_v the_o more_o oblige_v to_o take_v very_o particular_a and_o great_a care_n to_o recommend_v i_o to_o almighty_a god_n and_o this_o i_o may_v well_o presume_v to_o do_v since_o it_o have_v cost_v i_o so_o very_o dear_a to_o see_v myself_o thus_o set_v down_o in_o writing_n and_o to_o have_v bring_v by_o occasion_n thereof_o so_o many_o of_o my_o great_a misery_n to_o my_o remembrance_n though_o yet_o withal_o i_o can_v affirine_v with_o much_o truth_n that_o i_o have_v have_v far_o more_o aversion_n and_o trouble_v upon_o my_o declare_v the_o favour_n which_o it_o please_v our_o bless_a lord_n to_o do_v i_o than_o it_o will_v have_v be_v for_o i_o to_o discover_v even_o the_o offence_n themselves_o which_o i_o have_v commit_v against_o his_o divine_a majesty_n but_o in_o the_o mean_a time_n i_o have_v do_v what_o your_o reverence_n have_v command_v in_o order_n to_o the_o enlarge_n myself_o in_o this_o discourse_n though_o yet_o withal_o it_o be_v upon_o condition_n that_o your_o reverence_n will_v also_o do_v what_o you_o promise_v in_o tear_v whatsoever_o you_o shall_v not_o like_v i_o have_v not_o finish_v so_o much_o as_o the_o very_o read_v it_o over_o after_o i_o have_v write_v it_o even_o now_o when_o your_o reverence_n send_v to_o i_o for_o it_o and_o therefore_o it_o may_v very_o well_o chance_v that_o some_o thing_n be_v ill_o declare_v and_o other_o very_o unnecessary_o repeat_v for_o the_o time_n wherein_o i_o be_v able_a to_o do_v it_o do_v prove_v so_o very_o straight_o and_o short_a that_o i_o can_v not_o so_o much_o as_o look_v over_o what_o i_o have_v write_v i_o beseech_v your_o reverence_n to_o reform_v my_o error_n herein_o and_o to_o command_v it_o to_o be_v copy_v out_o and_o send_v to_o father_n auila_n for_o else_o perhaps_o the_o hand_n may_v be_v know_v to_o other_o but_o i_o desire_v very_o much_o that_o such_o order_n may_v be_v take_v as_o that_o he_o may_v see_v it_o since_o i_o partly_o begin_v to_o write_v it_o upon_o that_o design_n for_o when_o he_o shall_v once_o conceive_v that_o i_o go_v in_o a_o way_n which_o be_v right_a i_o shall_v be_v very_o much_o comfort_v by_o it_o and_o so_o when_o i_o shall_v have_v use_v this_o diligence_n there_o will_v be_v on_o my_o part_n no_o more_o to_o be_v do_v i_o humble_o pray_v your_o reverence_n to_o do_v in_o all_o thing_n as_o you_o shall_v think_v fit_a and_o consider_v that_o you_o be_v even_o oblige_v therein_o for_o such_o a_o one_o as_o trust_v her_o soul_n in_o your_o hand_n after_o so_o confident_a a_o manner_n as_o for_o you_o i_o will_v be_v recommend_v it_o to_o our_o bless_a lord_n all_o the_o day_n of_o my_o life_n and_o i_o beseech_v you_o therefore_o make_v great_a haste_n to_o serve_v his_o divine_a majesty_n to_o the_o end_n that_o you_o may_v be_v the_o better_a able_a to_o do_v i_o also_o favour_n with_o he_o since_o your_o reverence_n will_v easy_o see_v by_o that_o which_o go_v in_o company_n of_o this_o how_o well_o all_o your_o endeavour_n will_v be_v employ_v in_o go_v on_o as_o you_o have_v already_o begin_v and_o in_o bestow_v yourself_o total_o upon_o he_o who_o have_v give_v himself_o so_o whole_o to_o we_o without_o any_o limit_n at_o all_o let_v he_o be_v bless_v and_o praise_v for_o ever_o and_o for_o my_o part_n i_o hope_v through_o his_o mercy_n that_o both_o your_o reverence_n and_o myself_o shall_v one_o day_n grow_v to_o understand_v more_o clear_o the_o great_a blessing_n which_o he_o have_v be_v please_v to_o show_v we_o both_o that_o so_o we_o may_v be_v able_a to_o praise_v he_o for_o all_o eternity_n amen_n a_o table_n of_o the_o chapter_n 1._o chap._n the_o saint_n show_v how_o our_o lord_n begin_v to_o stirr-up_a her_o soul_n in_o her_o childhood_n to_o the_o performe_a of_o virtuous_a action_n and_o of_o the_o help_n which_o it_o give_v in_o order_n to_o this_o end_n to_o be_v bear_v of_o virtuous_a parent_n 2._o chap._n she_o show_v how_o she_o go_v loose_v in_o the_o way_n of_o virtue_n and_o how_o very_o much_o it_o
import_v to_o converse_v in_o childhood_n with_o virtuous_a person_n 3._o chap._n she_o treat_v how_o her_o fall_v into_o virtuous_a company_n be_v the_o occasion_n of_o she_o return_v to_o awake_a good_a desire_n in_o herself_o and_o how_o our_o lord_n begin_v to_o give_v she_o some_o light_n of_o the_o error_n wherein_o she_o have_v former_o be_v 4._o chap._n she_o relate_v how_o our_o lord_n assist_v she_o to_o force_v herself_o to_o take_v the_o habit_n of_o religion_n and_o of_o the_o many_o infirmity_n which_o our_o lord_n begin_v to_o bring_v upon_o she_o 5._o chap._n she_o prosecute_v the_o relation_n of_o the_o great_a infirmity_n which_o she_o have_v and_o of_o the_o patience_n which_o our_o lord_n give_v she_o in_o they_o and_o how_o benefit_n be_v draw_v out_o of_o mischief_n as_o will_v be_v see_v by_o a_o certain_a particular_a which_o happen_v to_o she_o in_o the_o place_n whither_o she_o go_v to_o be_v cure_v 6._o chap._n she_o treat_v of_o how_o much_o she_o owe_v our_o lord_n for_o his_o give_v her_o conformity_n to_o his_o holy_a will_n in_o so_o great_a affliction_n and_o how_o she_o take_v the_o glorious_a saint_n joseph_n for_o her_o intercessor_n and_o how_o advantageous_a that_o devotion_n prove_v to_o be_v 7._o chap._n she_o show_v by_o what_o degree_n and_o mean_n she_o go_v loose_v the_o favour_n which_o our_o lord_n have_v do_v she_o and_o how_o ill_o she_o begin_v to_o live_v and_o she_o also_o declare_v the_o harm_n there_o be_v in_o not_o maintain_v clausure_n in_o the_o monasterye_n of_o religious_a woman_n 8._o chap._n she_o treat_v of_o the_o great_a good_a it_o do_v she_o towards_o the_o not_o loose_v her_o soul_n not_o to_o have_v whole_o give_v over_o her_o prayer_n as_o also_o what_o a_o excellent_a remedy_n that_o be_v towards_o the_o gain_n of_o whatsoever_o good_a thing_n which_o be_v lose_v she_o persuade_v all_o creature_n to_o use_v it_o and_o declare_v the_o great_a benefit_n thereof_o and_o although_o we_o shall_v afterward_o leave_v it_o yet_o still_o it_o will_v prove_v a_o great_a good_a to_o have_v use_v so_o great_a a_o help_n for_o some_o time_n 9_o chap._n she_o declare_v by_o what_o mean_v our_o lord_n begin_v to_o awake_a her_o soul_n and_o give_v her_o light_n in_o so_o great_a darkness_n and_o to_o strengthen_v also_o her_o virtue_n that_o so_o she_o may_v offend_v he_o no_o more_o 10._o chap._n she_o begin_v to_o declare_v the_o favour_n which_o our_o lord_n do_v she_o in_o prayer_n and_o speak_v of_o that_o wherein_o we_o may_v be_v able_a to_o help_v ourselves_o and_o how_o much_o it_o also_o import_v we_o to_o understand_v the_o say_v favour_n which_o our_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o do_v us._n she_o humble_o desire_v of_o he_o to_o who_o she_o send_v this_o account_n of_o herself_o that_o whatsoever_o she_o shall_v declare_v from_o hence_o forward_o may_v remain_v in_o secret_a with_o he_o since_o he_o have_v command_v she_o to_o set_v down_o in_o so_o particular_a a_o manner_n the_o favour_n which_o our_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o do_v she_o chap._n 11._o she_o declare_v in_o what_o the_o fault_n consist_v of_o not_o obtain_v to_o love_n god_n with_o perfection_n in_o short_a time_n she_o begin_v to_o deliver_v it_o by_o a_o comparison_n which_o contain_v fowre_a degree_n of_o prayer_n and_o she_o treat_v here_o of_o the_o first_o which_o be_v very_o profitable_a for_o beginner_n &_o for_o those_o also_o who_o have_v no_o sensible_a delight_n or_o gust_n in_o prayer_n 12._o chap._n she_o prosecute_v her_o discourse_n of_o the_o first_o state_n or_o degree_n of_o prayer_n and_o declare_v how_o far_o we_o may_v arrive_v of_o ourselves_o by_o the_o favour_n of_o our_o lord_n and_o of_o the_o hurt_n it_o bring_v to_o desire_v that_o our_o spirit_n may_v rise_v to_o supernatural_a and_o extraordinary_a thing_n till_o our_o lord_n himself_o be_v please_v to_o ordain_v it_o 13._o chap._n she_o proceed_v in_o this_o first_o degree_n and_o state_n of_o prayer_n and_o give_v advice_n against_o some_o temptation_n which_o the_o devil_n be_v sometime_o wont_a to_o bring_v this_o discourse_n be_v very_o profitable_a 14._o chap._n she_o begin_v to_o declare_v the_o second_o degree_n of_o prayer_n wherein_o our_o lord_n be_v already_o please_v to_o give_v the_o soul_n more_o particular_a gust_n which_o she_o declare_v to_o the_o end_n that_o she_o may_v make_v they_o be_v understand_v to_o be_v supernatural_a this_o discourse_n be_v very_o much_o to_o be_v note_v 15._o chap._n she_o prosecute_v her_o discourse_n of_o the_o same_o matter_n and_o give_v some_o advice_n how_o person_n be_v to_o carry_v themselves_o in_o this_o kind_n of_o quiet_a prayer_n she_o treat_v how_o many_o soul_n come_v to_o arrive_v to_o this_o degree_n of_o prayer_n and_o that_o few_o pass_v beyond_o it_o the_o particular_n which_o be_v touch_v beer_n be_v not_o only_o very_o profitable_a but_o very_o necessary_a 16._o chap._n she_o treat_v of_o the_o three_o degree_n of_o prayer_n and_o go_v declare_v some_o very_a high_a point_n and_o what_o a_o soul_n which_o arrive_v thus_o far_o may_v be_v able_a to_o do_v and_o what_o effect_n these_o so_o great_a favour_n of_o our_o lord_n be_v accustom_v to_o work_n the_o sense_n hereof_o be_v very_o fit_a to_o raise_v the_o spirit_n high_a in_o the_o praise_n of_o almighty_a god_n and_o it_o be_v also_o of_o great_a consolation_n for_o the_o soul_n which_o arrive_v to_o this_o state_n 17._o chap._n she_o prosecute_v the_o same_o argument_n about_o this_o three_o degree_n of_o prayer_n and_o finish_v the_o declaration_n of_o the_o effect_n which_o work_n and_o declare_v also_o the_o disadvantage_n which_o the_o memory_n and_o imagination_n be_v wont_a to_o bring_v in_o this_o case_n 18._o chap._n she_o treat_v of_o the_o four_o degree_n of_o prayer_n she_o begin_v here_o to_o declare_v in_o excellent_a manner_n the_o great_a dignity_n to_o which_o our_o lord_n advance_v that_o soul_n which_o be_v exalt_v to_o this_o state_n it_o serve_v to_o animate_v man_n much_o to_o endeavour_v that_o they_o may_v arrive_v to_o so_o high_a a_o condition_n since_o it_o may_v be_v obtain_v in_o this_o world_n through_o the_o goodness_n of_o our_o lord_n though_o it_o can_v be_v deserve_v let_v this_o be_v read_v with_o consideration_n and_o care_n 19_o chap._n she_o prosecute_v the_o same_o discourse_n and_o begin_v to_o declare_v the_o effect_n which_o this_o degree_n of_o prayer_n work_n in_o the_o soul_n she_o persuade_v man_n earnest_o not_o to_o turn_v back_o nor_o to_o give-ove_a their_o prayer_n though_o they_o shall_v happen_v to_o fall_v even_o after_o they_o have_v receive_v these_o favour_n she_o speak_v of_o the_o great_a harm_n which_o will_v arrive_v to_o they_o if_o they_o do_v otherwise_o this_o discourse_n be_v much_o to_o be_v note_v and_o it_o be_v of_o great_a consolation_n for_o weak_a person_n and_o sinner_n 20._o chap._n she_o treat_v of_o the_o difference_n between_v union_n and_o rapt_v and_o declare_v what_o kind_n of_o thing_n a_o rapt_v be_v she_o speak_v also_o of_o the_o blessing_n which_o that_o soul_n have_v which_o our_o lord_n through_o his_o goodness_n bring_v thither_o and_o of_o the_o effect_n which_o rapt_n use_v to_o produce_v this_o discourse_n be_v of_o much_o admiration_n 21._o chap._n she_o prosecute_v and_o finish_v this_o last_o degree_n of_o prayer_n she_o declare_v what_o the_o soul_n find_v therein_o when_o she_o return_v to_o live_v again_o in_o the_o world_n and_o the_o light_n also_o which_o our_o lord_n give_v concern_v the_o deceit_n and_o error_n of_o the_o same_o world_n this_o chapter_n deliver_v excellent_a doctrine_n 22._o chap._n she_o treat_v of_o how_o secure_a a_o way_n it_o be_v for_o person_n who_o give_v themselves_o to_o contemplation_n not_o to_o raiseup_a their_o spirit_n to_o high_a thing_n unless_o our_o lord_n raise_v they_o up_o and_o that_o the_o humanity_n of_o christ_n our_o lord_n be_v indeed_o to_o be_v the_o mean_n towards_o the_o high_a contemplation_n of_o all_o other_o she_o speak_v also_o of_o a_o error_n wherein_o once_o she_o be_v this_o chapter_n contain_v matter_n of_o much_o profit_n 23._o chap._n she_o return_v to_o declare_v the_o course_n of_o her_o life_n and_o how_o she_o first_o begin_v to_o think_v of_o grow_v to_o great_a perfection_n and_o by_o what_o mean_v she_o do_v it_o this_o chapter_n be_v very_o profitable_a for_o such_o as_o be_v to_o govern_v soul_n in_o order_n to_o prayer_n and_o to_o make_v they_o know_v how_o they_o be_v to_o behave_v themselves_o in_o their_o beginning_n and_o of_o the_o benefit_n she_o reap_v by_o know_v it_o herself_o 24._o chap._n she_o prosecute_v the_o former_a discourse_n and_o show_n how_o her_o soul_n go_v profit_v when_o once_o she_o