he_o shall_v be_v none_o of_o the_o jury_n for_o you_o mr._n surgeon_n the_o statute_n of_o england_n exempt_v you_o from_o be_v of_o any_o quest_n and_o beside_o alas_o i_o seldom_o fall_v into_o your_o hand_n as_o be_v quiet_a and_o make_v no_o brawl_n to_o have_v wound_n or_o sore_n neither_o do_v i_o frequent_a whorehouse_n to_o catch_v the_o marble_n and_o so_o to_o grow_v your_o patient_n i_o know_v you_o not_o and_o therefore_o i_o appeal_v to_o the_o statute_n you_o shall_v have_v nothing_o to_o do_v with_o this_o matter_n and_o for_o you_o mr._n apothecary_n alas_o i_o look_v not_o once_o in_o seven_o year_n into_o your_o shop_n without_o it_o be_v to_o buy_v a_o pennyworth_n of_o wormseed_n to_o give_v my_o child_n to_o drink_v or_o a_o little_a treacle_n to_o drive_v out_o the_o measles_n or_o perhaps_o some_o dregs_o or_o powder_n to_o make_v my_o sick_a horse_n a_o drench_n withal_o but_o for_o myself_o if_o i_o be_v ill_a at_o ease_n i_o take_v kitchen_n physic_n i_o make_v my_o wife_n my_o doctor_n and_o my_o garden_n my_o apothecary_n shop_n whereas_o the_o town_n fop_n can_v have_v a_o fart_n awry_o but_o he_o must_v have_v his_o purgation_n pill_n and_o glister_v or_o evacuate_v by_o electuary_n he_o must_v if_o the_o least_o spot_n of_o morphew_n come_v on_o his_o face_n have_v his_o oil_n of_o tartar_n his_o lac_n virgin_n his_o camphire_n dissolve_v in_o verjuice_n to_o make_v the_o fool_n as_o fair_a forsooth_o as_o if_o he_o be_v to_o play_v maid-marian_n in_o a_o may-game_n or_o morris-dance_n tush_o he_o can_v digest_v his_o meat_n without_o conserve_n nor_o end_v his_o meal_n without_o suckat_n if_o sir_n john_n hap_n to_o have_v a_o stink_a breath_n then_o forsooth_o the_o apothecary_n must_v play_v the_o perfumer_n to_o make_v it_o sweet_a nay_o what_o be_v it_o about_o he_o that_o blame_v not_o nature_n for_o frame_v and_o form_v it_o anew_o by_o art_n and_o in_o all_o this_o who_o but_o monsieur_n the_o apothecary_n threfore_o pray_v sir_n quoth_v the_o jury_n let_v those_o three_o as_o partial_a companion_n be_v pack_v the_o next_o desire_v for_o a_o juryman_n be_v a_o lawyer_n by_o sâ—_n dunstan_n church_n assoon_o as_o these_o be_v pack_v off_o there_o come_v stalk_v down_o from_o a_o neighbour_a grove_n a_o ancient_a grave_a sir_n in_o a_o black_a velvet_n coat_n and_o a_o black_a cloth_n gown_n welt_a and_o face_v and_o after_o he_o as_o he_o suppose_v four_o servingman_n the_o most_o ill-favoured_a knave_n he_o think_v as_o ever_o he_o see_v one_o of_o they_o have_v on_o a_o buff-leather_n jerkin_n all_o greasy_a before_o with_o the_o dropping_n of_o beer_n that_o fall_v from_o his_o beard_n and_o by_o his_o side_n a_o skein_n like_o a_o brewer_n bung-knife_n and_o muffle_v he_o be_v in_o a_o cloak_n turn_v over_o his_o nose_n as_o though_o he_o have_v be_v ashamed_a to_o show_v his_o face_n the_o second_o have_v a_o belly_n like_o a_o bucking-tub_n and_o a_o threadbare_a black_a coat_n unbutton_v before_o upon_o the_o breast_n whereon_o the_o map_n of_o drunkenness_n be_v draw_v with_o the_o bawdy_a and_o bowsie_a excrement_n that_o drop_v from_o his_o filthy_a leak_a mouth_n the_o three_o be_v a_o long_a lean_a old_a slaver_a slangril_n with_o a_o brazil_n staff_n in_o one_o hand_n and_o a_o whipcord_n in_o the_o other_o so_o purblind_a that_o he_o have_v like_a to_o have_v stumble_v upon_o the_o company_n before_o he_o see_v they_o the_o four_o be_v a_o 〈◊〉_d chaff_n with_o a_o sour_a look_n in_o a_o black_a 〈◊〉_d face_v with_o taffeta_n and_o by_o his_o side_n a_o great_a side_n pouch_n like_o a_o falconer_n for_o their_o face_n all_o four_o seem_v to_o be_v brethren_n they_o be_v so_o bombast_v with_o the_o flock_n of_o strong_a beer_n and_o line_v with_o the_o lees_n of_o old_a sack_n that_o they_o look_v like_o four_o blow_a bladder_n paint_v over_o with_o red_a ochre_n or_o wash_v over_o with_o the_o sud_n of_o a_o old_a stale_a die_v all_o these_o as_o well_o the_o master_n as_o the_o follow_a mate_n will_v have_v pass_v away_o but_o that_o he_o step_v before_o they_o and_o inquire_v first_o of_o the_o foremost_a what_o he_o be_v marry_o quoth_v lie_v a_o lawyer_n then_o sir_n quoth_v he_o we_o have_v a_o matter_n in_o controversâ—ie_n that_o require_v counsel_n and_o you_o be_v the_o more_o welcome_a marry_o say_v he_o i_o be_o to_o be_v try_v for_o my_o life_n and_o i_o will_v have_v you_o of_o my_o jury_n at_o this_o the_o lawyer_n smile_v but_o say_v nothing_o he_o marvel_v he_o be_v not_o so_o well_o as_o the_o surgeon_n exempt_v by_o a_o act_n of_o parliament_n from_o be_v of_o any_o quest_n since_o as_o the_o surgeon_n be_v without_o pity_n so_o he_o be_v without_o conscience_n but_o present_o mr._n attorney_n step_v in_o and_o make_v his_o challenge_n say_v the_o lawyer_n be_v never_o friend_n to_o honesty_n for_o when_o lowliness_n neighbourhood_n and_o hospitality_n live_v in_o england_n westminster-hall_n be_v a_o dining-chamber_n not_o a_o den_n of_o controversy_n when_o the_o duke_n earl_n lord_n knight_n gentleman_n and_o esquire_n aim_v at_o virtue_n not_o pride_n and_o wear_v such_o breeches_n as_o be_v spin_v in_o his_o house_n then_o the_o lawyer_n be_v a_o simple_a man_n and_o in_o the_o high_a degree_n be_v but_o a_o bare_a scrivener_n except_z judges_z of_o the_o land_n which_o take_v in_o hand_n serious_a matter_n as_o treason_n murder_n felony_n and_o such_o capital_a offence_n but_o seldom_o be_v there_o any_o plea_n put_v in_o before_o the_o proud_a lawyer_n for_o his_o maintenance_n invent_v strange_a controversy_n and_o since_o he_o begin_v to_o domineer_v in_o england_n he_o have_v buz_v such_o a_o proud_a busy_a covetous_a and_o encroach_a humour_n upon_o every_o man_n head_n that_o lawyer_n be_v grow_v to_o be_v one_o of_o the_o chief_a limb_n of_o the_o commonwealth_n for_o they_o do_v now_o adays_o de_fw-la lana_fw-la cana_fw-la caprina_fw-la rixari_fw-la go_v to_o law_n if_o a_o hen_n do_v but_o scrape_v in_o a_o neighbour_n orchard_n but_o howsoever_o right_o be_v may_v carry_v away_o the_o verdict_n if_o a_o poor_a man_n sue_v a_o gentleman_n why_o he_o shoot_v up_o to_o the_o sky_n and_o the_o arrow_n fall_v on_o his_o own_o head_n howsoever_o the_o cause_n go_v the_o weak_a be_v thrust_v to_o the_o wall_n lawyer_n be_v trouble_v with_o the_o heat_n of_o the_o liver_n which_o make_v the_o palm_n of_o their_o hand_n so_o hot_a that_o they_o can_v be_v cool_v unless_o they_o be_v rub_v with_o the_o oil_n of_o angel_n but_o the_o poor_a man_n that_o give_v but_o his_o bare_a fee_n or_o perhaps_o plead_v in_o forâ—â—a_fw-la pauperis_fw-la he_o hunt_v for_o hare_n with_o a_o tabor_n and_o grope_v in_o the_o dark_a to_o find_v a_o needle_n in_o a_o bottle_n of_o hay_n tush_o these_o lawyer_n have_v such_o delatory_a and_o foreign_a plea_n such_o dormer_n such_o quib_n and_o quiddit_n that_o beggare_v their_o client_n thy_o purchase_n to_o themselves_o whole_a lordship_n it_o boot_v not_o man_n to_o discourse_v their_o little_a conscience_n &_o great_a extortion_n only_o let_v this_o suffice_v they_o be_v not_o so_o rich_a as_o they_o be_v bad_a and_o yet_o they_o be_v not_o too_o wealthy_a i_o inveigh_v not_o against_o law_n nor_o honest_a lawyer_n for_o there_o be_v some_o well_o qualify_v but_o against_o extort_v ambodexter_n that_o wring_v the_o poor_a and_o because_o i_o know_v not_o whether_o this_o be_v such_o a_o one_o or_o no_o i_o challenge_v he_o he_o shall_v not_o be_v of_o the_o jury_n why_o then_o quoth_v sir_n john_n his_o worship_n may_v depart_v a_o sergeant_n desire_v on_o the_o jury_n sir_n john_n question_v what_o he_o in_o the_o buff-jerkin_n be_v marry_o quoth_v he_o i_o be_o a_o sergeant_n sir_n john_n he_o have_v no_o soon_o say_v so_o but_o sir_n john_n leap_v back_o and_o draw_v his_o rapier_n he_o do_v not_o only_o challenge_v he_o for_o his_o jury_n but_o protest_v if_o he_o stride_v one_o foot_n towards_o he_o he_o will_v make_v he_o eat_v a_o piece_n of_o his_o poâ—â—ard_n and_o what_o be_v the_o reason_n quoth_v he_o that_o there_o be_v such_o mortal_a hatred_n betwixt_o you_o and_o the_o sergeant_n o_o sir_n quoth_v the_o judge_n search_v he_o and_o i_o warrant_v you_o the_o knave_n have_v precept_n upon_o on_o precept_n to_o arrest_v i_o have_v wear_v his_o mace_n smooth_a with_o only_o clap_v it_o on_o my_o shoulder_n he_o have_v have_v i_o under_o coram_fw-la so_o often_o oh_o the_o reprobate_n be_v the_o usurer_n executioner_n to_o bring_v such_o honest_a gentleman_n to_o limbo_n sir_n john_n as_o he_o have_v overthrow_v with_o his_o base_a brocage_n and_o bad_a commodity_n and_o as_o you_o see_v he_o a_o fat_a knave_n with_o a_o foggy_a face_n
wherein_o a_o cup_n of_o old_a sack_n have_v set_v a_o seal_n to_o mark_v the_o bowsie_a drunkard_n to_o die_v of_o the_o dropsy_n so_o his_o conscience_n be_v consume_v and_o his_o heart_n rob_v of_o all_o remorse_n and_o pity_n that_o for_o money_n he_o will_v betray_v his_o own_o father_n for_o will_n a_o cormorant_n but_o set_v he_o to_o arrest_v a_o young_a gentleman_n the_o rakehell_n will_v be_v so_o eager_a to_o catch_v he_o as_o a_o dog_n to_o take_v a_o bear_n by_o the_o ear_n in_o paris_n garden_n and_o when_o he_o have_v lay_v hold_n upon_o he_o he_o use_v he_o as_o courteous_o as_o a_o butcher_n cur_n will_v do_v a_o oxe-cheek_n when_o he_o be_v hungry_a if_o he_o see_v the_o gentleman_n have_v money_n in_o his_o purse_n then_o straight_o with_o a_o cap_n and_o knee_n he_o carry_v he_o to_o the_o tavern_n and_o bid_v he_o send_v for_o some_o of_o his_o friend_n to_o bail_v he_o but_o first_o he_o covenant_n to_o have_v some_o brace_n of_o angel_n for_o his_o pain_n and_o beside_o he_o call_v in_o for_o wine_n greedy_o but_o suppose_v the_o gentleman_n want_v penny_n he_o will_v either_o have_v a_o pawn_n or_o else_o drag_v he_o to_o the_o counter_a without_o respect_n of_o manhood_n or_o honesty_n i_o shall_v spend_v the_o whole_a day_n with_o display_v his_o villainy_n therefore_o brief_o let_v this_o suffice_v he_o be_v never_o make_v for_o any_o goodness_n but_o his_o slovenly_a carcase_n be_v frame_v by_o the_o devil_n of_o the_o rot_a carrion_n of_o a_o wolf_n and_o his_o soul_n of_o a_o usurer_n damn_a ghost_n turn_v out_o of_o hell_n into_o his_o body_n to_o do_v monstrous_a wickedness_n upon_o the_o earth_n so_o that_o he_o shall_v be_v none_o of_o the_o jury_n neither_o shall_v he_o come_v near_o than_o the_o length_n of_o my_o rapier_n will_v suffer_v he_o indeed_o quoth_v sir_n john_n general_o sergeant_n be_v bad_a but_o there_o be_v among_o they_o some_o honest_a man_n that_o will_v do_v their_o duty_n with_o lawful_a favour_n for_o to_o say_v truth_n if_o sergeant_n be_v not_o how_o shall_v man_n come_v by_o their_o debt_n marry_o they_o be_v so_o cruel_a in_o their_o office_n that_o if_o they_o arrest_v a_o poor_a man_n they_o will_v not_o suffer_v he_o if_o he_o have_v not_o money_n to_o stay_v a_o quarter_n of_o a_o hour_n to_o talk_v with_o his_o creditor_n although_o perhaps_o at_o the_o meeting_n they_o may_v take_v composition_n but_o only_o to_o the_o counter_a with_o he_o unless_o he_o will_v lay_v his_o pewter_n brass_n coverlet_n sheet_n or_o such_o household_n stuff_n to_o they_o for_o pawn_v of_o payment_n of_o some_o coin_n for_o their_o stay_n therefore_o let_v he_o depart_v out_o of_o the_o place_n for_o his_o room_n be_v better_a than_o his_o company_n to_o i_o because_o of_o a_o late_a prank_n i_o play_v a_o sumner_n a_o jailor_n a_o informer_n appear_v for_o juryman_n for_o sir_n john_n after_o this_o three_o other_o man_n offer_v their_o service_n to_o sir_n john_n the_o one_o say_v he_o be_v a_o sumner_n the_o other_o a_o gaoler_n and_o the_o three_o a_o informer_n bâ—ess_v i_o quoth_v the_o judge_n what_o a_o gang_n be_v here_o gather_v together_o no_o doubt_v hell_n be_v break_v loose_a and_o the_o devil_n mean_v to_o keep_v holiday_n i_o make_v challenge_n against_o they_o all_o as_o against_o worse_a man_n than_o those_o that_o give_v evidence_n against_o christ_n for_o the_o sumner_n it_o boot_v i_o to_o say_v little_o more_o against_o he_o than_o chaucer_n do_v in_o his_o câ—nteâ—bury_n tale_n who_o say_v he_o be_v a_o knave_n a_o briber_n and_o a_o bawd_n but_o leave_v that_o authority_n although_o it_o be_v authentical_a yet_o thus_o much_o i_o can_v say_v of_o myself_o that_o these_o drunken_a drowsy_a son_n go_v a_o toot_n abroad_o as_o they_o themselves_o term_v it_o which_o be_v to_o hear_v if_o any_o man_n have_v get_v his_o maid_n with_o child_n or_o play_v the_o goodfellow_n with_o his_o neighbour_n wife_n if_o he_o find_v a_o hole_n in_o any_o man_n coat_n that_o be_v of_o wealth_n than_o he_o have_v his_o peremptory_a citation_n ready_a to_o cite_v he_o unto_o the_o archdeacon_n or_o official_o court_n there_o to_o appear_v and_o abide_v the_o shame_n and_o penalty_n of_o the_o law_n the_o man_n perhaps_o in_o good_a credit_n with_o his_o neighbour_n loath_a to_o bring_v his_o name_n in_o question_n grease_v the_o sumner_n in_o the_o fist_n and_o then_o he_o wipe_v he_o out_o of_o his_o book_n and_o suffer_v he_o to_o get_v twenty_o with_o child_n so_o he_o keep_v he_o warm_v in_o the_o hand_n he_o have_v a_o say_v to_o wanton_a wife_n and_o they_o be_v his_o good_a dame_n and_o as_o long_o as_o they_o feed_v he_o with_o cheeâ—e_n bacon_n capon_n and_o such_o odd_a reversion_n they_o be_v honest_a and_o be_v they_o â—ever_o so_o bad_a he_o swear_v to_o the_o official_a complaint_n be_v make_v upon_o envy_n and_o the_o woman_n be_v oâ—_n good_a behaviour_n tush_o what_o bawdry_n be_v it_o he_o will_v not_o suffer_v so_o he_o may_v have_v money_n and_o good_a cheer_v and_o if_o he_o like_v a_o wench_n well_o a_o snatch_v himself_o for_o they_o know_v all_o the_o whore_n in_o a_o country_n and_o be_v as_o lecherous_a companion_n as_o may_v be_v to_o be_v brief_a the_o sumner_n live_v upon_o sin_n of_o people_n and_o out_o of_o harlotry_n get_v he_o all_o his_o gain_n as_o for_o the_o gaoler_n although_o i_o have_v be_v little_o trouble_v in_o prison_n to_o have_v experience_n of_o his_o knavery_n yet_o have_v i_o hear_v the_o poor_a prisoner_n complain_n how_o cruel_a they_o be_v to_o they_o extort_v with_o extraordinary_a fee_n sell_v a_o double_a curtall_n as_o they_o call_v it_o with_o a_o double_a jugg_n of_o beer_n for_o twopence_n which_o contain_v not_o above_o a_o pint_n and_o a_o half_a let_v a_o poor_a man_n be_v arrest_v into_o one_o of_o the_o compter_n though_o he_o but_o set_v his_o foot_n in_o they_o but_o half_a a_o hour_n he_o shall_v be_v at_o almost_o a_o angel_n charge_v what_o with_o garnish_n crossing_n and_o wipe_v out_o of_o the_o book_n turn_v the_o key_n pay_v the_o chamberlain_n see_v for_o his_o jury_n and_o twenty_o such_o extortion_n invent_v by_o themselves_o and_o not_o allow_v by_o any_o statute_n god_n bless_v i_o jailer_n from_o your_o hen-house_n i_o will_v assure_v you_o i_o will_v keep_v you_o from_o come_v into_o the_o quest._n and_o as_o to_o you_o master_n informer_n you_o that_o look_v like_o a_o civil_a citizen_n or_o some_o handsome_a pettifogger_n of_o the_o law_n although_o your_o crimson_a nose_n betray_v you_o can_v sup_v a_o cool_a cup_n of_o sack_n without_o any_o chew_v yet_o have_v you_o as_o much_o knavery_n in_o your_o side-pouch_n there_o as_o will_v breed_v the_o confusion_n of_o forty_o honest_a man_n it_o may_v be_v sir_n john_n that_o you_o marvel_v why_o i_o exclaim_v against_o the_o informer_n since_o he_o high_o pretend_v to_o do_v all_o he_o do_v against_o honest_a man_n according_a to_o law_n to_o wipe_v out_o this_o this_o 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stand_v in_o amaze_n begin_v thus_o to_o resolve_v i_o in_o my_o doubt_n perhaps_o quoth_v he_o you_o marvel_v why_o the_o informer_n have_v all_o these_o writ_n and_o know_v neither_o the_o party_n nor_o can_v object_v any_o offence_n to_o they_o to_o this_o i_o answer_v that_o it_o be_v a_o long_a vacation_n he_o learn_v in_o the_o roll_v all_o those_o man_n name_n and_o the_o place_n where_o they_o live_v now_o mean_v he_o to_o go_v abroad_o and_o search_v they_o out_o and_o arrest_v they_o and_o though_o they_o know_v not_o wherein_o or_o for_o what_o cause_n they_o shall_v be_v trouble_v yet_o rather_o than_o they_o will_v come_v up_o to_o london_n and_o spend_v their_o
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