as_o 1_o thes_n 5._o 17._o etc._n etc._n but_o yet_o notwithstanding_o i_o be_v dissatisfy_v about_o it_o that_o notion_n of_o wait_v carry_v such_o a_o show_n of_o spirituality_n i_o can_v not_o easy_o let_v it_o go_v but_o yet_o this_o trial_n have_v so_o shake_v it_o that_o i_o do_v begin_v much_o to_o question_v it_o and_o also_o those_o other_o notion_n of_o the_o like_a nature_n than_o it_o please_v the_o lord_n to_o bring_v we_o safe_a to_o land_n through_o which_o mercy_n i_o have_v some_o little_a communion_n with_o god_n be_v able_a to_o speak_v of_o his_o goodness_n in_o deliver_v we_o from_o that_o danger_n but_o through_o that_o dissatisfaction_n which_o still_o remain_v in_o i_o about_o these_o notion_n it_o be_v interrupt_v again_o and_o my_o beloved_a have_v withdraw_v himself_o and_o i_o be_v very_o much_o trouble_v not_o know_v where_o to_o rest_v nor_o what_o to_o do_v but_o notwithstanding_o i_o do_v begin_v much_o to_o question_v those_o thing_n from_o that_o trial_n i_o have_v of_o they_o on_o the_o sea_n yet_o i_o be_v more_o incline_v to_o they_o than_o to_o truth_n for_o some_o time_n especial_o to_o that_o of_o prayer_n and_o three_o or_o four_o time_n after_o i_o remember_v in_o discourse_n with_o some_o friend_n i_o do_v a_o little_a plead_v for_o they_o which_o though_o it_o be_v my_o sin_n so_o to_o do_v i_o do_v not_o then_o know_v it_o but_o must_v needs_o say_v i_o do_v as_o simple_o and_o sincere_o aim_v at_o do_v the_o will_n of_o god_n in_o all_o those_o thing_n as_o ever_o i_o do_v in_o any_o thing_n and_o therefore_o though_o satan_n have_v so_o beguile_v i_o yet_o i_o obtain_v mercy_n because_o i_o do_v it_o ignorant_o but_o my_o trouble_n and_o want_v of_o communion_n with_o god_n do_v still_o increase_v insomuch_o that_o i_o be_v scarce_o able_a to_o bear_v my_o burden_n and_o speak_v of_o it_o to_o my_o husband_n who_o be_v at_o that_o time_n much_o in_o the_o same_o condition_n i_o remember_v among_o many_o word_n he_o speak_v some_o be_v to_o this_o purpose_n that_o see_v we_o be_v in_o such_o a_o condition_n and_o at_o such_o a_o loss_n it_o be_v best_a to_o speak_v but_o little_a that_o as_o we_o do_v but_o little_a good_a we_o may_v do_v but_o little_a harm_n which_o i_o do_v well_o approve_v of_o and_o after_o that_o i_o speak_v little_a for_o or_o against_o any_o thing_n till_o i_o be_v better_o satisfy_v then_o be_v so_o true_o in_o a_o day_n of_o adversity_n according_a to_o that_o counsel_n of_o the_o wise_a man_n in_o eccles_n 7._o 14._o i_o sit_v down_o serious_o to_o consider_v what_o may_v be_v the_o cause_n of_o my_o be_v in_o so_o sad_a and_o strange_a a_o condition_n through_o which_o consideration_n by_o degree_n i_o come_v to_o see_v and_o conclude_v that_o certain_o there_o be_v something_o amiss_o in_o my_o judgement_n as_o to_o those_o notion_n begin_v clear_o to_o discern_v they_o do_v so_o oppose_v and_o contradict_v my_o former_a receive_a principle_n that_o they_o can_v not_o stand_v together_o but_o if_o one_o be_v true_a the_o other_o be_v false_a and_o that_o i_o must_v leave_v the_o one_o or_o the_o other_o for_o though_o i_o have_v receive_v the_o new_a i_o can_v never_o full_o quit_v the_o old_a neither_o in_o judgement_n nor_o practice_n then_o i_o be_v restless_a in_o my_o desire_n for_o three_o or_o four_o day_n to_o know_v which_o of_o the_o two_o be_v truth_n oft_o time_n earnest_o beg_v of_o god_n that_o he_o will_v decide_v the_o controversy_n and_o discover_v to_o i_o which_o be_v according_a to_o his_o mind_n and_o which_o not_o be_v full_o satisfy_v that_o but_o one_o of_o they_o can_v be_v truth_n than_o it_o please_v the_o lord_n to_o put_v i_o upon_o a_o particular_a examination_n what_o ground_n i_o have_v in_o scripture_n and_o what_o experience_n i_o have_v of_o both_o &_o in_o read_v and_o examine_v my_o scripture-ground_n i_o begin_v to_o discern_v a_o great_a inclination_n in_o my_o heart_n to_o the_o former_a principle_n find_v i_o think_v the_o scripture_n very_o full_a and_o plain_a for_o they_o but_o nothing_o for_o the_o other_o but_o what_o be_v from_o some_o dark_a mysterious_a interpretation_n which_o be_v very_o doubtful_a and_o for_o my_o own_o experience_n i_o do_v remember_v and_o be_v constrain_v to_o acknowledge_v that_o in_o receive_v and_o keep_v close_o to_o the_o fotmer_n i_o have_v joy_n and_o peace_n and_o much_o satisfaction_n and_o communion_n with_o god_n but_o since_o i_o receive_v the_o other_o the_o lord_n have_v as_o it_o be_v hide_v his_o face_n from_o i_o and_o i_o be_v fill_v with_o confusion_n and_o distraction_n and_o the_o remembrance_n of_o that_o trial_n i_o have_v of_o they_o upon_o the_o sea_n do_v very_o much_o help_v i_o now_o to_o see_v the_o falsity_n of_o they_o that_o in_o a_o time_n of_o trial_n i_o dare_v not_o stick_v to_o they_o as_o indeed_o i_o plain_o see_v that_o i_o can_v never_o stick_v to_o they_o so_o as_o to_o answer_v they_o full_o in_o my_o practice_n unless_o i_o shall_v have_v lay_v aside_o the_o appearance_n of_o godliness_n &_o have_v be_v very_o profane_a the_o consideration_n of_o which_o with_o some_o other_o evil_a consequence_n which_o i_o see_v clear_o do_v natural_o attend_v those_o thing_n be_v another_o mean_n by_o which_o the_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o recover_v i_o from_o they_o and_o to_o discover_v satan_n under_o his_o veil_n to_o i_o how_o by_o these_o thing_n he_o do_v intend_v if_o the_o lord_n have_v not_o prevent_v he_o to_o have_v strip_v i_o of_o all_o my_o hope_n and_o in_o particular_a as_o to_o that_o of_o be_v save_v by_o a_o christ_n within_o and_o not_o by_o a_o christ_n without_o the_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o show_v i_o that_o it_o be_v quite_o another_o thing_n differ_v from_o the_o gospel_n and_o that_o it_o be_v attend_v with_o this_o evil_a consequence_n even_o to_o overthrow_v the_o whole_a gospel_n and_o to_o deny_v the_o lord_n that_o buy_v they_o at_o the_o thought_n of_o which_o my_o soul_n do_v tremble_v and_o that_o if_o he_o shall_v have_v prevail_v here_o all_o my_o hope_n be_v go_v for_o i_o can_v not_o nor_o dare_v not_o rest_v on_o any_o thing_n in_o myself_o as_o a_o ground_n of_o hope_n for_o life_n and_o salvation_n but_o on_o the_o other_o hand_n concern_v my_o hope_n in_o the_o lord_n jesus_n christ_n according_a to_o the_o gospel_n i_o can_v true_o say_v of_o that_o as_o peter_n do_v john_n 6._o 68_o lord_n whither_o shall_v we_o go_v thou_o have_v the_o word_n of_o eternal_a life_n so_o whither_o shall_v i_o go_v from_o the_o gospel_n there_o be_v the_o word_n of_o eternal_a life_n there_o be_v all_o my_o rest_n and_o hope_n in_o the_o lord_n jesus_n through_o the_o gospel_n and_o therefore_o i_o resolve_v in_o the_o strength_n of_o christ_n to_o stick_v to_o this_o and_o leave_v the_o other_o then_o second_o as_o to_o that_o of_o wait_v for_o a_o power_n to_o pray_v and_o that_o there_o be_v no_o command_n but_o from_o within_o concern_v both_o these_o the_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o show_v i_o that_o it_o be_v not_o according_a to_o his_o mind_n but_o a_o mere_a invention_n of_o satan_n by_o degree_n to_o draw_v i_o from_o my_o duty_n and_o that_o it_o be_v attend_v with_o this_o evil_a consequence_n even_o to_o slight_v the_o scripture_n and_o command_n of_o god_n and_o to_o expose_v the_o soul_n to_o satan_n deceive_n to_o walk_v by_o the_o imagination_n of_o their_o own_o heart_n instead_o of_o the_o motion_n of_o the_o spirit_n and_o also_o it_o bring_v the_o soul_n into_o great_a uncertainty_n which_o the_o truth_n never_o do_v but_o on_o the_o other_o hand_n to_o do_v duty_n in_o obedience_n to_o the_o authority_n and_o command_n of_o god_n in_o scripture_n and_o to_o pray_v at_o all_o time_n as_o we_o have_v opportunity_n have_v receive_v a_o principle_n of_o grace_n by_o which_o we_o be_v make_v capable_a of_o prayer_n i_o see_v this_o be_v a_o clear_a and_o sound_a truth_n not_o be_v attend_v with_o any_o evil_a consequence_n nor_o bring_v the_o soul_n into_o strait_n and_o uncertainty_n but_o rather_o give_v enlargement_n in_o every_o condition_n and_o therefore_o i_o desire_v likewise_o to_o keep_v close_o to_o these_o and_o leave_v the_o other_o but_o oh_o the_o joy_n and_o comfort_n that_o be_v in_o my_o soul_n at_o this_o return_n i_o can_v express_v it_o but_o this_o i_o say_v it_o be_v to_o i_o as_o life_n from_o the_o dead_a and_o as_o i_o be_v blessing_n praise_v and_o magnifi_n the_o lord_n for_o his_o unchangeable_a goodness_n to_o i_o my_o husband_n have_v be_v some_o time_n from_o i_o come_v home_o to_o who_o i_o do_v declare_v my_o
often_o move_v into_o several_a place_n where_o we_o find_v not_o only_o particular_a person_n but_o whole_a church_n very_o much_o corrupt_v own_v &_o practise_v strange_a thing_n though_o under_o plausible_a term_n and_o spiritual_a pretence_n by_o which_o a_o while_n after_o they_o be_v break_v and_o scatter_v leave_v the_o profession_n of_o truth_n in_o the_o practice_n of_o the_o ordinance_n of_o christ_n some_o under_o one_o notion_n and_o some_o under_o another_o so_o that_o it_o be_v hard_a to_o find_v in_o those_o part_v one_o particular_a person_n that_o have_v sound_a principle_n much_o less_o a_o whole_a church_n where_o there_o be_v a_o powerful_a ministry_n and_o a_o wise_a government_n by_o reason_n of_o which_o i_o begin_v by_o degree_n to_o be_v somewhat_o confuse_v in_o judgement_n and_o true_o when_o i_o consider_v those_o thing_n and_o what_o temptation_n i_o be_v expose_v to_o at_o that_o time_n i_o do_v not_o wonder_v i_o be_v so_o confuse_v but_o i_o rather_o wonder_v at_o the_o mercy_n of_o god_n that_o i_o be_v not_o swallow_v up_o with_o confusion_n as_o many_o be_v in_o those_o day_n for_o though_o i_o be_v weak_a in_o principle_n and_o by_o those_o thing_n somewhat_o confuse_v yet_o i_o do_v not_o know_v that_o in_o two_o or_o three_o year_n time_n i_o have_v receive_v any_o corrupt_a principle_n but_o afterward_o be_v with_o a_o people_n where_o satan_n have_v transform_v himself_o into_o a_o angel_n of_o light_n i_o think_v i_o may_v say_v in_o the_o high_a degree_n under_o term_n of_o mystery_n spirit_n wait_v upon_o god_n and_o such_o like_a by_o they_o i_o be_v beguile_v and_o deceive_v in_o some_o particular_a thing_n though_o never_o in_o the_o height_n of_o that_o which_o be_v practise_v by_o they_o the_o particular_n about_o which_o i_o be_v deceive_v be_v chief_o these_o three_o or_o four_o first_o concern_v godliness_n be_v a_o mystery_n that_o it_o do_v consist_v of_o something_o within_o and_o not_o of_o something_o without_o and_o and_o that_o the_o saint_n be_v to_o expect_v life_n and_o salvation_n from_o a_o christ_n within_o and_o not_o from_o a_o christ_n without_o second_o that_o saint_n be_v not_o to_o do_v duty_n by_o or_o from_o a_o command_n without_o but_o from_o a_o command_n within_o and_o that_o the_o word_n command_v in_o scripture_n be_v not_o a_o command_n to_o they_o till_o they_o have_v a_o word_n within_o they_o three_o that_o as_o to_o the_o time_n of_o do_v duty_n they_o be_v to_o wait_v for_o the_o move_n of_o the_o spirit_n to_o carry_v they_o forth_o to_o it_o and_o this_o they_o call_v wait_v for_o a_o power_n and_o till_o they_o have_v such_o a_o power_n they_o be_v to_o do_v nothing_o but_o sit_v still_o and_o wait_v and_o this_o not_o only_o in_o private_a duty_n but_o in_o the_o church_n also_o not_o own_v any_o ministry_n by_o way_n of_o gift_n or_o office_n but_o to_o come_v together_o and_o there_o fit_a and_o wait_v till_o they_o have_v a_o power_n and_o then_o to_o speak_v whether_o man_n or_o woman_n in_o these_o particular_n which_o carriry_v such_o a_o face_n or_o show_v of_o spirituality_n i_o be_v corrupt_v but_o do_v never_o full_o own_v they_o in_o judgement_n nor_o practice_n and_o for_o such_o principle_n as_o i_o think_v do_v lead_v to_o looseness_n either_o in_o matter_n of_o conversion_n or_o in_o slight_v the_o church_n or_o ordinance_n of_o christ_n i_o do_v always_o oppose_v they_o though_o i_o believe_v such_o principle_n do_v natural_o follow_v the_o other_o but_o i_o do_v not_o then_o discern_v it_o they_o be_v cover_v over_o with_o such_o angel-like_o appearance_n and_o as_o to_o that_o principle_n of_o wait_v though_o i_o do_v own_v it_o in_o judgement_n more_o full_o than_o any_o of_o these_o other_o yet_o i_o can_v neveâ—_n come_v up_o to_o it_o in_o my_o practice_n in_o private_a duty_n but_o by_o reason_n of_o some_o conviction_n still_o remain_v in_o i_o i_o can_v not_o stay_v so_o long_o from_o duty_n till_o i_o have_v such_o a_o power_n but_o do_v frequent_o go_v to_o duty_n when_o i_o have_v it_o not_o though_o sometime_o i_o think_v i_o have_v it_o but_o in_o the_o presence_n of_o other_o i_o do_v not_o appear_v in_o duty_n but_o when_o i_o think_v i_o have_v that_o power_n though_o i_o never_o do_v so_o appear_v but_o in_o one_o place_n for_o a_o short_a season_n in_o do_v which_o i_o think_v i_o have_v communion_n with_o god_n but_o i_o do_v believe_v it_o be_v no_o such_o thing_n but_o a_o mere_a spirit_n of_o delusion_n first_o because_o i_o know_v no_o scripture-ground_n for_o such_o a_o practice_n and_o second_o from_o the_o consideration_n of_o the_o sad_a fruit_n i_o have_v by_o it_o for_o after_o a_o little_a time_n i_o begin_v to_o lose_v my_o peace_n and_o be_v very_o much_o trouble_v have_v little_a or_o no_o communion_n with_o god_n nor_o scarce_o any_o thing_n to_o speak_v to_o or_o for_o god_n and_o so_o confound_v i_o be_v in_o my_o own_o spirit_n that_o i_o know_v not_o what_o to_o do_v and_o speak_v of_o it_o to_o some_o and_o those_o not_o a_o few_o they_o labour_v to_o persuade_v i_o it_o be_v a_o dispensation_n of_o god_n and_o that_o the_o saint_n after_o they_o be_v bring_v out_o of_o egypt_n must_v be_v in_o the_o wilderness_n before_o they_o come_v to_o canaan_n and_o that_o the_o end_n of_o god_n in_o bring_v they_o there_o be_v that_o he_o may_v speak_v comfortable_o to_o they_o and_o therefore_o i_o be_v not_o to_o be_v trouble_v but_o to_o be_v quiet_a fit_a still_o and_o wait_v and_o not_o to_o stir_v the_o lord_n till_o he_o please_v this_o do_v not_o at_o all_o satisfy_v i_o but_o i_o continue_v in_o a_o very_a sad_a condition_n and_o one_o thing_n more_o by_o the_o way_n i_o can_v forget_v and_o that_o be_v that_o while_o i_o be_v in_o this_o condition_n i_o never_o be_v so_o trouble_v with_o temptation_n as_o i_o be_v at_o that_o time_n one_o temptation_n which_o i_o be_v trouble_v with_o many_o year_n before_o i_o be_v keep_v from_o until_o at_o this_o time_n which_o now_o be_v more_o violent_a than_o at_o first_o as_o indeed_o those_o thing_n natural_o lead_v to_o such_o temptation_n which_o temptation_n be_v the_o same_o express_v in_o the_o begin_n of_o the_o book_n page_n 25._o this_o be_v the_o sad_a fruit_n of_o my_o stray_n from_o the_o pure_a way_n of_o truth_n which_o as_o i_o desire_v ever_o to_o own_o with_o shame_n to_o myself_o so_o likewise_o consider_v the_o temptation_n i_o be_v expose_v to_o and_o the_o little_a mean_n i_o have_v to_o forewarn_v and_o keep_v i_o from_o such_o thing_n i_o desire_v for_o ever_o to_o bless_v the_o lord_n that_o i_o stray_v no_o further_o that_o though_o in_o these_o thing_n i_o have_v much_o forget_v he_o yet_o he_o be_v please_v to_o remember_v i_o and_o show_v i_o the_o evil_a and_o danger_n of_o these_o notion_n and_o restore_v i_o to_o those_o former_a joy_n that_o once_o i_o have_v in_o he_o and_o make_v that_o which_o be_v intend_v by_o satan_n to_o overthrow_v i_o to_o be_v of_o great_a advantage_n to_o i_o which_o he_o be_v please_v to_o do_v after_o this_o manner_n have_v some_o occasion_n to_o undertake_v a_o passage_n on_o the_o sea_n from_o london_n to_o newcastle_n in_o which_o condition_n it_o please_v the_o lord_n to_o reprove_v i_o by_o the_o rage_a wave_n of_o the_o sea_n and_o tempestuous_a storm_n than_o begin_v my_o trouble_n to_o increase_v but_o not_o so_o much_o from_o that_o which_o be_v without_o as_o from_o something_o within_o the_o wave_n of_o the_o sea_n not_o beat_v so_o fast_o on_o the_o ship_n as_o the_o wave_n of_o temptation_n do_v arise_v in_o my_o heart_n be_v in_o a_o very_a much-troubled_n dissatisfy_v condition_n not_o find_v my_o heart_n willing_a to_o submit_v to_o god_n neither_o indeed_o know_v how_o to_o behave_v myself_o towards_o he_o in_o relation_n to_o the_o present_a trouble_n all_o which_o be_v occasion_v by_o those_o corrupt_a principle_n be_v at_o a_o great_a loss_n whether_o i_o shall_v now_o pray_v or_o wait_v for_o a_o power_n not_o be_v sensible_a of_o any_o other_o power_n at_o that_o time_n but_o what_o be_v from_o the_o present_a trouble_n to_o put_v i_o upon_o it_o but_o in_o this_o trial_n i_o be_v glad_a to_o betake_v myself_o to_o my_o former_a principle_n the_o lord_n bring_v to_o my_o remembrance_n that_o command_n and_o promise_n psa_n 50._o 15._o by_o which_o i_o be_v encourage_v to_o cry_v to_o god_n as_o indeed_o i_o can_v not_o nor_o dare_v not_o forbear_v for_o still_o own_v my_o interest_n in_o god_n by_o which_o i_o be_v make_v capable_a of_o prayer_n i_o can_v not_o answer_v that_o with_o such_o other_o like_o scripture_n
concern_v truth_n and_o why_o many_o that_o live_v a_o long_a time_n under_o much_o mean_n yet_o continue_v very_o ignorant_a it_o may_v be_v ever_o learning_n and_o never_o able_a to_o come_v to_o the_o knowledge_n of_o the_o truth_n 2_o ti._n 3._o 7._o and_o as_o the_o seed_n upon_o the_o stony_a ground_n wither_v away_o because_o it_o have_v no_o root_n so_o truth_n not_o be_v root_v in_o the_o heart_n and_o judgement_n though_o it_o spring_v up_o in_o much_o affection_n yet_o it_o come_v to_o nothing_o and_o indeed_o ignorant_a person_n many_o time_n be_v soon_o affect_v and_o do_v seem_v to_o have_v more_o affection_n than_o other_o he_o reason_n of_o that_o i_o conceive_v be_v the_o same_o also_o with_o that_o of_o the_o seed_n upon_o the_o stony_a ground_n it_o spring_v up_o sudden_o because_o it_o have_v not_o depth_n of_o earth_n so_o it_o be_v natural_a for_o ignorant_a person_n to_o spring_v forth_o in_o affection_n they_o have_v as_o it_o be_v nothing_o else_o to_o do_v but_o only_o to_o be_v affect_v their_o strength_n run_v all_o in_o one_o vein_n or_o in_o one_o channel_n they_o spend_v all_o in_o affection_n while_o other_o that_o have_v more_o understanding_n have_v many_o other_o thing_n to_o do_v all_o the_o faculty_n of_o their_o soul_n be_v exercise_v their_o strength_n be_v disperse_v into_o many_o vein_n weigh_v and_o ponder_v thing_n in_o the_o heart_n and_o judgement_n that_o it_o may_v have_v depth_n to_o root_n and_o settle_v there_o as_o it_o be_v say_v of_o mary_n she_o ponder_v those_o thing_n in_o her_o heart_n luke_n 2._o 19_o so_o they_o be_v treasure_v it_o up_o in_o their_o heart_n have_v in_o their_o treasury_n thing_n new_a and_o old_a mat._n 12._o 35._o and_o 13._o 52._o and_o a_o little_a affection_n where_o there_o be_v judgement_n be_v better_a than_o a_o great_a deal_n without_o judgement_n yet_o much_o affection_n with_o a_o sound_a judgement_n be_v best_a of_o all_o the_o second_o note_n of_o experience_n how_o i_o be_v bring_v to_o see_v myself_o in_o a_o miserable_a state_n by_o nature_n and_o convince_v of_o sin_n by_o the_o law_n and_o so_o convert_v to_o duty_n labour_v for_o life_n by_o do_v though_o at_o that_o time_n in_o my_o own_o thought_n far_o from_o own_v such_o a_o thing_n by_o providence_n hear_v a_o minister_n of_o the_o nation_n who_o be_v then_o call_v a_o puritan_n who_o though_o i_o use_v often_o to_o hear_v yet_o i_o can_v true_o say_v as_o the_o prophet_n in_o dan._n 10._o 8._o i_o hear_v but_o i_o understand_v not_o and_o as_o i_o be_v once_o hear_v of_o he_o very_o sudden_o i_o think_v i_o do_v discern_v and_o understand_v thing_n more_o clear_o and_o more_o distinct_o than_o ever_o i_o do_v before_o that_o time_n be_v much_o affect_v with_o it_o and_o do_v then_o own_o god_n in_o it_o have_v many_o such_o thought_n as_o these_o that_o as_o it_o be_v say_v of_o lydia_n act._n 16._o 14._o that_o now_o the_o lord_n have_v open_v my_o understanding_n and_o now_o i_o hope_v i_o shall_v have_v more_o knowledge_n and_o delight_v more_o in_o hear_v and_o read_v whereas_o before_o it_o be_v wearisome_a to_o i_o because_o i_o do_v not_o understand_v any_o thing_n but_o in_o a_o confuse_a manner_n after_o this_o i_o have_v a_o great_a delight_n to_o hear_v this_o man_n and_o though_o i_o think_v it_o much_o on_o any_o other_o occasion_n to_o go_v one_o mile_n on_o foot_n yet_o to_o hear_v he_o i_o can_v go_v three_o and_o back_o again_o the_o same_o day_n frequent_o and_o by_o his_o ministry_n i_o be_v bring_v to_o see_v the_o superstitious_a variety_n of_o my_o former_a zeal_n and_o lay_v it_o aside_o and_o i_o remember_v that_o at_o this_o time_n i_o have_v such_o affectionate_a heart-working_n towards_o god_n and_o godliness_n and_o such_o a_o hatred_n of_o all_o sin_n according_a to_o what_o i_o then_o know_v that_o i_o do_v many_o time_n in_o my_o serious_a thought_n choose_v rather_o to_o die_v than_o live_v mere_o upon_o that_o account_n because_o i_o will_v not_o sin_v against_o god_n know_v myself_o subject_a thereunto_o and_o though_o i_o can_v say_v that_o at_o this_o time_n i_o have_v faith_n in_o god_n so_o as_o to_o believe_v his_o love_n to_o i_o on_o gospel_n ground_n for_o i_o be_v total_o ignorant_a of_o any_o such_o thing_n many_o year_n after_o yet_o i_o have_v good_a thought_n of_o god_n from_o that_o glimmer_a light_n which_o i_o then_o have_v and_o which_o do_v produce_v in_o i_o much_o love_n to_o he_o as_o i_o can_v but_o so_o judge_v but_o no_o soon_o be_v i_o bring_v to_o this_o but_o satan_n be_v ready_a to_o assault_v i_o and_o set_v upon_o i_o with_o this_o horrid_a temptation_n to_o question_v the_o be_v of_o god_n and_o i_o remember_v it_o usual_o come_v upon_o i_o when_o i_o be_v alone_o but_o especial_o as_o i_o be_v go_v by_o myself_o to_o hear_v the_o aforesaid_a minister_n insomuch_o that_o it_o do_v exceed_o trouble_v i_o and_o i_o then_o discern_v it_o to_o be_v a_o temptation_n and_o do_v resist_v and_o labour_n against_o it_o draw_v argument_n as_o i_o go_v in_o the_o field_n from_o the_o very_a work_n of_o creation_n to_o confirm_v myself_o in_o this_o truth_n that_o there_o be_v a_o god_n that_o it_o shall_v not_o be_v in_o vain_a for_o i_o or_o any_o to_o serve_v he_o and_o earnest_o cry_v to_o god_n against_o it_o through_o grace_n i_o be_v not_o overcome_v by_o it_o but_o have_v a_o supply_n of_o strength_n until_o it_o be_v remove_v and_o i_o be_v no_o more_o trouble_v with_o it_o in_o many_o year_n after_o so_o i_o continue_v a_o constant_a hearer_n of_o this_o man_n and_o other_o such_o like_a for_o some_o year_n by_o which_o i_o come_v to_o see_v myself_o in_o a_o miserable_a state_n by_o nature_n and_o be_v convince_v of_o sin_n by_o the_o law_n but_o be_v very_o ignorant_a of_o the_o lord_n jesus_n and_o their_o doctrine_n be_v for_o the_o most_o part_n such_o as_o be_v suitable_a to_o the_o old_a covenant_n instead_o of_o go_v to_o christ_n for_o life_n i_o be_v bring_v to_o a_o great_a degree_n of_o labour_n and_o travel_v for_o life_n and_o happiness_n by_o do_v though_o at_o that_o time_n in_o my_o own_o thought_n far_o from_o own_v such_o a_o thing_n be_v as_o exact_v and_o strict_a in_o all_o my_o way_n i_o think_v i_o may_v say_v as_o it_o be_v possible_a for_o a_o poor_a creature_n to_o be_v but_o the_o more_o strict_a i_o be_v still_o look_v through_o the_o glass_n of_o the_o law_n the_o more_o my_o bondage_n be_v increase_v for_o i_o can_v see_v nothing_o but_o a_o addition_n of_o sin_n in_o all_o that_o i_o do_v the_o law_n still_o call_v for_o a_o perfect_a righteousness_n then_o i_o begin_v to_o be_v very_o much_o trouble_v and_o in_o a_o great_a amazement_n &_o perplexity_n of_o spirit_n fear_v i_o shall_v perish_v for_o ever_o then_o i_o have_v thought_n to_o discover_v my_o condition_n to_o some_o to_o have_v advise_v from_o they_o but_o meet_v with_o many_o discouragement_n do_v not_o but_o keep_v it_o in_o my_o own_o breast_n discover_v no_o more_o but_o what_o i_o can_v not_o hide_v which_o be_v only_o my_o outward_a appearance_n much_o differ_v from_o what_o former_o it_o be_v which_o do_v occasion_n some_o to_o say_v that_o i_o be_v near_o a_o distraction_n they_o not_o know_v what_o condition_n i_o be_v in_o and_o true_o my_o condition_n be_v so_o sad_a that_o i_o be_v afraid_a of_o a_o distraction_n myself_o for_o i_o think_v it_o impossible_a to_o continue_v long_o in_o that_o condition_n and_o not_o be_v distract_v which_o fear_n do_v occasion_v i_o to_o apply_v myself_o to_o some_o mean_n of_o comfort_n whereas_o before_o i_o be_v not_o willing_a to_o hearken_v to_o any_o thing_n that_o way_n the_o mean_v i_o use_v be_v chief_o read_v &_o prayer_n by_o which_o it_o please_v the_o lord_n i_o come_v to_o some_o dark_a apprehension_n concern_v jesus_n christ_n be_v persuade_v there_o be_v something_o of_o that_o nature_n which_o if_o i_o can_v get_v a_o right_a understanding_n of_o my_o condition_n will_v be_v much_o better_a but_o fear_v leave_v i_o shall_v sink_v under_o my_o burden_n temptation_n come_v on_o i_o like_o the_o wave_n of_o the_o sea_n i_o be_v force_v as_o i_o go_v about_o my_o occasion_n often_o to_o cry_v to_o god_n like_o the_o disciple_n in_o another_o case_n lord_n save_v i_o else_o i_o perish_v mat._n 8._o 25._o i_o think_v many_o time_n i_o be_v even_o sink_v under_o my_o burden_n and_o i_o do_v believe_v there_o be_v no_o help_n but_o only_o in_o the_o lord_n and_o that_o he_o be_v able_a to_o do_v it_o but_o whether_o he_o will_v do_v it_o or_o whether_o he_o
for_o my_o own_o particular_a i_o must_v needs_o say_v though_o i_o be_o still_o but_o weak_a yet_o through_o mercy_n my_o gain_n by_o those_o thing_n be_v so_o great_a that_o i_o will_v not_o be_v without_o it_o though_o i_o desire_v not_o to_o purchase_v any_o more_o at_o that_o rate_n three_o in_o relation_n to_o other_o that_o through_o their_o experience_n they_o may_v be_v the_o more_o able_a to_o forewarn_v other_o who_o may_v meet_v with_o the_o like_a temptation_n for_o certain_o have_v the_o saint_n in_o those_o day_n have_v that_o experience_n of_o satan_n working_n in_o that_o nature_n which_o now_o they_o have_v and_o have_v the_o mouth_n of_o truth_n be_v so_o open_a against_o it_o as_o it_o be_v at_o this_o day_n it_o will_v doubtless_o have_v prevent_v much_o and_o therefore_o by_o the_o way_n i_o must_v needs_o say_v i_o be_o persuade_v it_o will_v be_v a_o great_a aggravation_n of_o sin_n for_o any_o to_o be_v take_v or_o hold_v by_o those_o thing_n when_o there_o be_v so_o much_o mean_n to_o avoid_v they_o as_o through_o the_o mercy_n of_o god_n there_o be_v in_o these_o day_n almost_o in_o every_o place_n now_o the_o lord_n have_v these_o and_o other_o such_o like_a end_n in_o permit_v those_o thing_n i_o desire_v that_o myself_o with_o other_o who_o have_v experience_v they_o in_o any_o measure_n may_v be_v careful_a to_o answer_v those_o end_n for_o doubtless_o if_o our_o deliverance_n be_v of_o god_n and_o that_o we_o be_v clear_o bring_v off_o from_o those_o confusion_n we_o shall_v answer_v all_o those_o end_n of_o god_n in_o some_o measure_n in_o the_o next_o place_n as_o to_o the_o way_n and_o mean_n by_o which_o the_o lord_n have_v be_v please_v to_o recover_v his_o people_n from_o these_o thing_n i_o shall_v say_v little_a because_o i_o believe_v it_o have_v be_v various_a some_o by_o one_o mean_n some_o by_o another_o as_o they_o be_v in_o various_a condition_n for_o my_o own_o particular_a i_o have_v declare_v at_o large_a how_o it_o be_v with_o i_o only_o these_o general_n head_n i_o shall_v again_o remind_v first_o i_o be_v bring_v into_o great_a strait_n and_o much_o confusion_n in_o judgement_n second_o the_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o withdraw_v his_o presence_n from_o i_o three_o be_v sensible_a of_o that_o confusion_n and_o want_v of_o communion_n with_o god_n i_o be_v put_v upon_o enquiry_n into_o my_o own_o heart_n what_o may_v be_v the_o reason_n of_o it_o four_o it_o please_v the_o lord_n to_o make_v i_o willing_a to_o be_v inform_v and_o to_o examine_v thing_n by_o the_o scripture_n five_o he_o be_v please_v to_o draw_v forth_o my_o heart_n with_o much_o earnestness_n to_o seek_v to_o he_o by_o prayer_n which_o through_o great_a mercy_n be_v large_o answer_v and_o thus_o i_o doubt_v not_o but_o by_o what_o i_o have_v write_v it_o will_v appear_v that_o i_o have_v not_o without_o good_a ground_n both_o from_o scripture_n and_o experience_n judge_v those_o thing_n to_o be_v the_o greated_a mystery_n of_o iniquity_n and_o the_o most_o dangerous_a and_o worst_a of_o all_o error_n and_o here_o i_o can_v but_o mind_v something_o further_o as_o to_o the_o continuation_n of_o those_o thing_n which_o be_v as_o they_o be_v the_o worst_a of_o all_o other_o so_o their_o time_n be_v short_a for_o according_a to_o my_o most_o serious_a observation_n wherever_o they_o come_v and_o where_o they_o continue_v long_a their_o rise_n reign_n and_o ruin_n be_v all_o accomplish_a in_o a_o few_o year_n for_o in_o a_o short_a time_n general_o person_n have_v be_v so_o confound_v that_o they_o have_v either_o come_v to_o see_v themselves_o delude_v and_o so_o have_v turn_v from_o they_o or_o else_o they_o have_v run_v to_o absolute_a atheism_n and_o so_o end_v there_o i_o shall_v now_o only_o answer_v one_o objection_n as_o to_o my_o own_o experience_n and_o so_o end_v this_o discourse_n some_o have_v say_v that_o i_o can_v judge_v of_o these_o thing_n by_o experience_n because_o according_a to_o what_o i_o have_v declare_v i_o never_o have_v but_o little_a experience_n of_o they_o but_o only_o in_o three_o or_o four_o thing_n and_o those_o i_o can_v never_o full_o come_v up_o to_o neither_o in_o judgement_n nor_o practice_v neither_o can_v i_o leave_v these_o outward_a thing_n which_o all_o must_v leave_v before_o they_o can_v see_v the_o glory_n of_o the_o inward_a and_o those_o that_o have_v not_o put_v themselves_o on_o such_o thing_n but_o be_v lead_v to_o they_o by_o the_o father_n have_v and_o do_v see_v that_o glory_n this_o objection_n have_v specious_a word_n but_o weigh_v in_o the_o balance_n of_o the_o sanctuary_n will_v be_v find_v light_a than_o vanity_n with_o the_o rest_n of_o the_o like_a nature_n which_o i_o hope_v be_v already_o make_v manifest_a only_o i_o shall_v add_v a_o few_o word_n by_o way_n of_o answer_n first_o for_o my_o experience_n as_o to_o myself_o in_o particular_a i_o confess_v through_o the_o mercy_n of_o god_n it_o be_v far_o short_a of_o that_o which_o many_o precious_a one_o in_o those_o day_n fall_v into_o yet_o i_o can_v true_o say_v it_o be_v so_o much_o as_o do_v clear_o discover_v to_o i_o the_o nature_n and_o tendency_n of_o they_o all_o to_o be_v so_o vile_a that_o i_o i_o do_v not_o know_v any_o thing_n that_o ever_o i_o do_v since_o i_o know_v god_n that_o i_o can_v own_v with_o more_o shame_n to_o myself_o than_o those_o thing_n second_o for_o my_o experience_n as_o to_o other_o i_o have_v see_v and_o know_v that_o sufficient_o to_o satisfy_v i_o that_o there_o be_v no_o such_o glory_n in_o they_o but_o a_o mere_a delusion_n but_o i_o desire_v to_o judge_v by_o experience_n no_o otherwise_o than_o as_o it_o have_v relation_n to_o the_o holy_a scripture_n for_o though_o i_o do_v very_o high_o esteem_v of_o christian_a experience_n as_o to_o the_o operation_n and_o effect_n of_o truth_n in_o the_o soul_n as_o indeed_o it_o be_v the_o very_a life_n of_o christianity_n yet_o as_o to_o rule_v i_o value_v one_o word_n of_o scripture_n more_o than_o all_o experience_n and_o i_o be_o sure_a the_o scripture_n will_v not_o own_v they_o which_o be_v the_o rule_n and_o touchstone_n by_o which_o i_o desire_v to_o try_v and_o judge_v all_o thing_n for_o that_o which_o the_o scripture_n set_v up_o they_o throw_v down_o and_o that_o which_o the_o scripture_n forbid_v they_o set_v up_o for_o instance_n the_o scripture_n exalt_v the_o lord_n jesus_n christ_n in_o all_o his_o action_n office_n and_o ordinance_n they_o set_v up_o something_o else_o in_o opposition_n to_o this_o calling_z it_o fleshly_a carnal_a and_o outward_a thing_n and_o for_o the_o father_n lead_v person_n to_o they_o which_o word_n carry_v indeed_o a_o seem_a show_n of_o excellency_n but_o it_o be_v a_o mere_a delusion_n there_o be_v no_o such_o thing_n for_o the_o father_n and_o christ_n be_v one_o and_o what_o be_v appoint_v by_o christ_n be_v appoint_v by_o the_o father_n john_n 10._o 3._o &_o 14._o 24._o and_o he_o do_v not_o lead_v from_o his_o own_o appointment_n but_o those_o that_o continue_v in_o they_o he_o will_v love_v and_o he_o will_v send_v his_o spirit_n to_o they_o which_o shall_v abide_v with_o they_o for_o ever_o joh._n 14._o 16._o and_o the_o father_n and_o christ_n will_v come_v to_o they_o and_o make_v their_o abode_n with_o they_o verse_n 23._o i_o have_v already_o write_v that_o which_o may_v more_o full_o answer_v this_o objection_n shall_v say_v no_o more_o but_o desire_v that_o all_o the_o lord_n people_n may_v be_v deliver_v and_o keep_v from_o such_o deceive_n the_o sixth_o note_n of_o experience_n in_o relation_n to_o qualification_n the_o habit_n of_o grace_n or_o fruit_n of_o the_o spirit_n how_o and_o by_o what_o mean_v i_o have_v and_o do_v daily_o find_v a_o increase_n or_o decrease_v in_o those_o thing_n to_o make_v way_n for_o i_o to_o lay_v down_o my_o thought_n as_o to_o gracious_a qualification_n i_o shall_v first_o consider_v the_o several_a kind_n of_o qualification_n which_o i_o conceive_v may_v be_v three_o 1._o moral_a 2._o legal_a 3._o gospel_n by_o moral_a i_o mean_v such_o as_o be_v from_o moral_a dictate_v mere_o from_o nature_n civility_n breed_v or_o education_n by_o legal_a i_o mean_v such_o as_o be_v from_o legal_a dictate_v mere_o from_o fear_n of_o wrath_n without_o any_o clear_a apprehension_n of_o the_o free_a grace_n of_o god_n in_o the_o gospel_n but_o here_o i_o desire_v to_o be_v very_o tender_a judge_v that_o it_o be_v possible_a there_o may_v be_v some_o seed_n of_o the_o gospel_n sow_v in_o such_o heart_n by_o which_o those_o qualification_n may_v be_v wrought_v though_o as_o yet_o it_o may_v not_o appear_v neither_o to_o themselves_o nor_o other_o that_o they_o have_v receive_v
for_o doubtless_o though_o its_o one_o of_o the_o last_o yet_o it_o be_v not_o the_o least_o trial_n that_o after_o we_o have_v in_o a_o great_a measure_n overcome_v the_o world_n the_o devil_n and_o our_o own_o heart_n we_o shall_v meet_v with_o let_n and_o discouragement_n from_o one_o another_o it_o be_v that_o indeed_o which_o be_v suitable_a to_o a_o imperfect_a state_n in_o which_o we_o be_v and_o by_o which_o we_o may_v learn_v as_o to_o live_v more_o single_o on_o god_n so_o also_o to_o press_v after_o and_o long_o for_o that_o perfect_a state_n in_o which_o we_o shall_v be_v at_o the_o appearance_n of_o our_o lord_n jesus_n christ_n i_o may_v enlarge_v much_o in_o this_o matter_n but_o i_o intend_v only_o to_o hint_n at_o thing_n desire_v the_o lord_n to_o stir_v up_o the_o heart_n of_o some_o more_o able_a to_o enlarge_v upon_o it_o know_v there_o be_v great_a need_n that_o saint_n shall_v be_v exhort_v to_o this_o duty_n namely_o not_o to_o discourage_v but_o to_o encourage_v one_o another_o in_o all_o good_a thing_n &_o i_o desire_v that_o we_o may_v set_v before_o we_o that_o exhortation_n of_o the_o apostle_n gal._n 5._o 26_o let_v we_o not_o be_v desirous_a of_o vain_a glory_n provoke_v one_o another_o envy_v one_o another_o from_o whence_o i_o observe_v that_o to_o be_v desirous_a of_o vain_a glory_n make_v way_n for_o a_o spirit_n of_o envy_n and_o so_o to_o provoke_v and_o grieve_v one_o another_o the_o consideration_n of_o that_o scripture_n with_o jam._n 4._o 5._o may_v through_o the_o blessing_n of_o god_n be_v very_o useful_a to_o saint_n for_o this_o purpose_n for_o questionless_a a_o slight_n of_o the_o gift_n and_o grace_n of_o god_n in_o other_o do_v many_o time_n arise_v off_o a_o desire_n of_o vain_a glory_n and_o a_o spirit_n of_o envy_n the_o first_o note_n of_o experience_n of_o the_o good_a providence_n of_o god_n towards_o i_o in_o a_o state_n of_o ignorance_n and_o darkness_n before_o conversion_n it_o please_v the_o lord_n i_o be_v civil_o bring_v up_o from_o a_o child_n and_o keep_v from_o such_o gross_a evil_n as_o person_n mere_o civil_a do_v not_o allow_v but_o otherways_o very_o vain_a and_o that_o which_o instrumental_o keep_v i_o from_o such_o thing_n as_o i_o conceive_v be_v together_o with_o my_o civil_a education_n a_o desire_n of_o happiness_n and_o a_o fear_n of_o misery_n have_v a_o general_a notion_n that_o sin_n be_v attend_v with_o misery_n for_o i_o remember_v when_o i_o have_v do_v any_o thing_n that_o i_o think_v be_v sin_n i_o be_v present_o under_o great_a fear_n and_o terror_n to_o take_v off_o which_o and_o also_o to_o attain_v happiness_n in_o the_o end_n i_o think_v i_o be_v to_o be_v exercise_v in_o some_o kind_n of_o religion_n but_o be_v very_o ignorant_a i_o make_v no_o inquiry_n what_o religion_n be_v but_o take_v it_o for_o grant_v that_o that_o be_v religion_n which_o be_v then_o in_o force_n from_o king_n and_o bishop_n and_o so_o go_v on_o i_o grow_v very_o superstitious_o zealous_a in_o all_o thing_n suitable_a to_o the_o service_n book_n or_o a_o cathedral_n kind_a of_o worship_n and_o i_o think_v the_o more_o i_o abound_v in_o fast_v book_n prayer_n and_o observation_n of_o day_n and_o time_n mourning_n and_o afflict_v myself_o for_o sin_n the_o better_a it_o be_v so_o that_o i_o think_v i_o do_v exceed_v most_o that_o i_o know_v in_o that_o way_n for_o blind_a zeal_n and_o superstitious_a devotion_n yet_o at_o this_o very_a time_n i_o think_v myself_o far_o from_o popery_n and_o do_v always_o oppose_v that_o with_o much_o zeal_n and_o i_o be_o sure_a with_o much_o ignorance_n then_o be_v acquaint_v with_o some_o who_o be_v then_o call_v puritan_n i_o begin_v to_o perceive_v that_o there_o be_v some_o difference_n betwixt_o that_o which_o i_o practise_v and_o that_o which_o be_v do_v by_o they_o and_o my_o observation_n of_o their_o carriage_n and_o hear_v they_o speak_v such_o language_n as_o i_o be_v altogether_o a_o stranger_n to_o do_v so_o far_o work_v upon_o i_o that_o i_o begin_v to_o question_v my_o own_o condition_n and_o oft_o time_n when_o i_o have_v do_v my_o long_a book_n prayer_n though_o i_o have_v scarce_o ever_o hear_v of_o pray_v without_o a_o book_n yet_o i_o will_v in_o a_o poor_a break_a manner_n complain_v to_o god_n that_o i_o be_v in_o some_o fear_n that_o what_o i_o do_v be_v not_o according_a to_o his_o will_n and_o if_o it_o be_v not_o i_o do_v beg_v of_o he_o that_o he_o will_v bring_v i_o to_o the_o knowledge_n of_o the_o truth_n whatever_o i_o do_v undergo_v for_o attain_v of_o it_o but_o then_o sometime_o i_o think_v my_o condition_n good_a enough_o and_o though_o i_o be_v never_o give_v to_o rail_v or_o speak_v evil_a of_o such_o person_n yet_o i_o think_v they_o make_v more_o ado_n than_o they_o need_v to_o have_v do_v and_o that_o god_n do_v not_o require_v so_o much_o strictness_n as_o they_o seem_v to_o plead_v for_o but_o hear_v they_o speak_v much_o of_o knowledge_n and_o of_o the_o danger_n of_o ignorance_n and_o know_v myself_o to_o be_v very_o ignorant_a i_o begin_v to_o be_v more_o frequent_a in_o read_v the_o scripture_n and_o hear_v sermon_n but_o my_o understanding_n not_o be_v yet_o open_v it_o be_v to_o little_a effect_n for_o i_o remember_v i_o be_v at_o this_o time_n like_o a_o stock_n or_o stone_n as_o to_o the_o true_a understanding_n of_o that_o which_o i_o read_v or_o hear_v that_o i_o can_v true_o say_v as_o the_o prophet_n in_o psal_n 73._o 22._o so_o foolish_a be_v i_o and_o ignorant_a even_o as_o a_o beast_n before_o thou_o and_o yet_o at_o this_o time_n i_o be_v something_o in_o affection_n as_o when_o i_o hear_v any_o thing_n of_o the_o judgement_n of_o god_n against_o sin_n i_o shall_v tremble_v and_o when_o any_o thing_n of_o the_o mercy_n and_o goodness_n of_o god_n or_o the_o love_n and_o sweetness_n of_o jesus_n christ_n my_o heart_n will_v melt_v as_o i_o think_v yet_o i_o understand_v nothing_o so_o as_o to_o have_v it_o seat_v in_o the_o understanding_n and_o judgement_n this_o in_o general_n i_o do_v remember_v as_o to_o that_o state_n some_o brief_a observation_n from_o this_o note_n of_o experience_n first_o concern_v my_o be_v keep_v from_o sin_n by_o a_o desire_n of_o happiness_n and_o fear_v of_o misery_n from_o thence_o i_o observe_v that_o in_o the_o day_n of_o ignorance_n before_o we_o have_v receive_v grace_n to_o restrain_v we_o from_o sin_n it_o be_v a_o mercy_n to_o be_v restrain_v by_o something_o else_o and_o true_o to_o i_o its_o a_o mercy_n so_o considerable_a that_o i_o desire_v to_o bless_v the_o lord_n for_o it_o as_o long_o as_o i_o live_v second_o concern_v my_o seek_n after_o and_o frame_v to_o myself_o some_o kind_n of_o religion_n from_o thence_o i_o observe_v that_o its_o natural_a for_o person_n to_o make_v after_o some_o kind_n of_o religion_n and_o rather_o than_o they_o will_v worship_v nothing_o they_o will_v worship_v samaritan_n like_v they_o know_v not_o what_o john_n 4._o 22._o three_o concern_v my_o oppose_a popery_n when_o myself_o live_v in_o the_o practice_n of_o the_o same_o thing_n for_o the_o nature_n of_o it_o from_o thence_o i_o observe_v that_o a_o person_n may_v oppose_v a_o error_n and_o yet_o live_v at_o that_o time_n in_o the_o same_o error_n for_o the_o nature_n of_o it_o though_o in_o a_o low_a degree_n and_o not_o know_v it_o and_o that_o not_o only_a person_n total_o ignorant_a but_o saint_n also_o if_o they_o take_v not_o good_a heed_n for_o i_o have_v experience_v this_o more_o time_n than_o once_o four_o concern_v my_o complaint_n and_o prayer_n to_o god_n in_o relation_n to_o truth_n from_o thence_o i_o observe_v that_o a_o person_n before_o conversion_n may_v for_o aught_o i_o know_v true_o pray_v and_o that_o from_o a_o secret_a work_n of_o god_n upon_o the_o heart_n and_o therefore_o though_o i_o can_v from_o scripture-rule_a exhort_v such_o to_o pray_v so_o neither_o from_o ence_n can_v i_o forbid_v they_o but_o rather_o rejoice_v to_o see_v the_o heart_n of_o any_o run_v out_o in_o such_o a_o way_n five_o concern_v my_o be_v so_o much_o affect_v with_o truth_n though_o i_o understand_v it_o not_o from_o thence_o i_o observe_v that_o ignorant_a person_n in_o hear_v truth_n may_v have_v their_o reason_n so_o far_o touch_v that_o they_o may_v assent_v to_o it_o and_o be_v much_o affect_v with_o it_o and_o yet_o understand_v nothing_o so_o as_o to_o have_v it_o seat_v in_o the_o heart_n and_o judgement_n and_o because_o it_o be_v not_o seat_v in_o the_o heart_n and_o judgement_n that_o i_o conceive_v be_v the_o reason_n why_o ignorant_a person_n be_v so_o uncertain_a and_o so_o unconstant_a in_o their_o thought_n