Selected quad for the lemma: friend_n
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A31722
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The Character of a Whig, under several denominations to which is added, The reverse, or, The character of a true English-man, in opposition to the former.
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1700
(1700)
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Wing C2001; ESTC R13356
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59,454
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139
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below him and Checkmate all above him He is not so Displeased with any thing as our own Constitution where Monarchy and Liberty are so happily reconcil'd that they Friendly Embrace each other He is angry that Liberty of Conscience is establish'd by Law because he has lost an opportunity of Quarrelling about it for he had rather want his Right than not gratify his Spleen and humor his Perversness He is a Friend to Zeal and an Enemy to Knowledge and Cheats himself by a false Ostentation of the Power of Godliness without being in the form of it He thinks himself of the True Religion because he has been of All he could hear of and having Pin'd himself to the Principles of Neutrality had rather undergo the Laodicean Fate than enjoy the Reward of Fidelity and Perseverance The Noise of Fire at Midnight does not so much Affright him as a Discourse of Accommodation and Comprehension for to be all of a Peice would spoil his Market in being for and against every thing by way of Debtor and Creditor He always shifts for the Warm side o' th the Hedge and rather than run any Risque in his Body or Fortune he 'l leave his Prince his Country his Father or Friend in the Lurch to save but the worth of a Cockle-shell In your Prosperity over a Bottle of Wine and a Dish of your Meat he 'l load you with Caresses and Civilities but if you come to have the Wind and Tyde in your Teeth and the Vogue of the Town against you he 'l be one of the first shall desert you in stark Love and Kindness till you have strugled your way through the Difficulty and then he 's again your most Obedient Humble Servant If our Trimming Whig is a man of Authority he will Ruin you with Trust and Confidence and draw out your last blood in pretences to do your Business when he never in the least Intends it Ask his favour for an Employment He allows you to be a very Honest man and well qualified for any thing one that has faithfully serv'd the King and Government and he is glad heartily Glad that he has an opportunity of serving you He has three or four pretty things in 's Eye there are two or three Vacancies at present and you may assure your self he is your friend to all Intents and Purposes you may intirely depend upon any Good Office he can do you and that he will never leave you till he has done something or other that is Considerable for you And now betwixt the Credit of the Pretence on the one side and the Snare of the Trust and Confidence on the other you are entred upon the Road that leads to your Undoing Now you have a Waiter's Place and having danced Attendance on him till you have hardly Shooes to follow him longer you have for answer That he has done what he can but there was so many Buts and Exceptions in the way he could not accomplish his Wishes for you But if you can find out any thing you shall be sure of it This puts you upon a new charge of Enquiring and when you bring him an account of Three things Undisposed of he falls into a Passion and chides your Negligence for if you had but spoke of it a Quarter of an hour sooner he had done your business effectually for one of them was just given away and the other Two are Promised and you must have Patience and hunt about for more Discoveries till he grow as Shy of you as a sculking Citizen of a Serjeant Now as oft as you come he is Sick Busy Abroad or not to be spoken with If you Way-lay and Surprize him he is in great Hast cannot Stay but when you have found out something for your Turn come to him and you shall be sure in English To go without it And now put all his Proffessions Protestations and Promises into one Scale and his Doublings his Put-off's Shams and Pretences into another and you 'l find your very Soul upon the most painful sort of Torture Depend says the Whiggish Trimmer Assure your self Upon my Honour I will serve you when there 's no more in 't at last than so much Air thrown into the mouth of a Credulous fool toward the satisfying of an Empty Stomach One while the Honour of the Government will not bear it The Incompetency of the Person 't is too Little or too much 't is too soon or 't is too late 't is out of your Way or unsuitable to your Humour and in a word an honest man may as well lay his finger upon an Indivisible Instant as Nick the precise time of doing his business by the Mediation of a false Trimming-Whig who does nothing but Delude and Bretray you and his last Shift is removing you out of his way into th' Country and when he has found out something he will send for you And that will be when the Devil 's Blind who 's Eyes are not sore yet Having spent all your Money Wearied out your Self and Worn out your Clothes you procure a Friend to solicite for you and at first sight the Whig Trimmer tells him Sir your friend is a mighty Good Man pray tell him I don't forget him tho' he 's absent I have him here upon my Minutes for the first business that falls but you would do well however to mind me now and then on 't for I have many things in my Head you know and now I cannot talk with you about it but if you could stay a little here about or come again a matter of an hour or two hence or rather if it would stand with your convenience let me see you upon Monday next precisely at Twelve then I may Chance to tell you more Your friend replies I 'le not fail your Honour at the very moment but what hopes says he shall I give my friend in the mean time My Lord I beg this freedom from you do you think 't will do at Last for a man had better Ten times be hang'd Once for All till he 's Dead than be starving in the Air the Lord knows how long under the Anxiety of a lingring Suspension 'T is some case to a Man yet to know the worst of a thing and to be at a certainty whether it be Off or On. This Plain Dealing of your Friend Ruffles and Discomposes the little great man of Business and he answers with some Emotion I am extreamly press'd you see But I 'le borrow half a Dozen words at any time from common Business for the service of an honest man and a friend but to be plain with you Sir you are a little too Warm and too Quick upon the Point Beggars must not be Carvers Affairs of this Nature must be brought about by Patience and Opportunity 'T is not for a man in his Circumstrnces to talk of being off or on as who should say if I may'nt have it when I would I won't have
Overcome The Republican Whig Jacobite IS an Individuum Vagum an Unkle Robert a Man of no Principle either of Honour or Conscience any further than it squares with his own Advantage He is a common Enemy to all kind of Governments and prefers Plotting against whatever is Uppermost above any other kind of Lechery Under the Monarchy of Charles the Secand he was a profest Common-wealths-Man and employ'd himself and his Pen as desperately against that King and Court as if he had been weary of his Life courted a Halter and the Honour of Dying with his Shooes on Which he had certainly done if there had not been an Understanding between him and Secretary Jenkins who order'd Mr. Legate the Messenger tho' his Name was in all Warrants against the Whigs not to Seize him for fear I suppose of Discovering him to be a Treacherous Jack of both Sides In the Reign of James the Second he set up for a Monmothean to scandalize the Action and at the Loss of honester men's lives escaped from a Hog-sty with his own into Holland In the Prince's glorious expedition to Redeem our Religion and Liberties his Highness was pleas'd as well he might to deny this Boutfeau a Passage among those that offer'd him their Service and the Worthy Gentleman that Over-perswaded the King he might pass in the Throng without any Reflection upon that Honourable Enterprise has repented it ever since that he open'd his Mouth for so vile a Wretch In this happy Reign tho' obliged beyond his Desert he has plaid the Devil for the Devil's sake and has put Hell to its Shifts to Invent Plots so fast as he could utter them He had an Office under the Government and Acted for the Jacebites beg'd money of the Independants to Relieve their Poor but gave what he could spare from Symond's Tap to the Non Jurant Parsons Under the Visor of a Common-Wealth-Compounder he made his Court at St. Germans which shews the Credit of their Cause was sinking when they laid hold on this Rotten Stick to keep it from Drowning Lord Melford found the Plot Mettle and he the Fire and Furnace to Forge or Cast it into Tooles for the service of Popery and Slavery and in every Consultation to promote the Interest of that Party he always propos'd the most Bloody Methods to obtain their Ends. There has been no Plot against the King and Government since his Majesty's Accesion to the Throne in which he has not had a considerable share either in Acting in it or Shamming it when it came to be Discover'd He represents our Allies and Confederates as Enemies that make advantage by our losses and our profess'd Enemies as true-True-Friends to England When he had got Hundreds by his Office he turn'd Tail upon the Government and herded with the Malcontents to make it Twice as much and then tells the People in his Printed Pamphlets how strangely the King is Misled by evil Councellors and that there 's scarce a man at Court fit to Advise him Sometimes he appears in Print as one of his Majesty's Best Subjects and in the Conclusion takes way the King's Honour for the preservation of his Life Undermines the Establish'd Church for the security of our Roligion and sets up Democratical Principles for the Maintenance of the Monarchy He has Modell'd his Looks into a Form that is taking among the Seperating Precisians and has his Eyes lifted up to Heaven while his Hands are in their Pockets He never Remembers Benefits nor forgets Unkindneses nor never is at a Loss for new Projects to plague the World and Ruin Mankind Aquinas does not more abound with Distinctions and Salvo's than he with corrupted Texts to excite Men to Rebellion and expounds the preserving the King in his just Right to be the Assassinating his Royal Person in which as he had his Share 't is pitty he miss'd the Punishment for if he has not himself Brued all the Plots and Conspiracies these Ten years yet he has been the common Advocate of the whole Rebellious Party and has espous'd their Crimes as well as their Interests for Writing for the Generality of Offenders implies an Approbation of their Treasons and that he is influenced by the same Evil Spirit and wants a Power not a Will to commit the most Barbarous Murder He scruples more the breaking one Oath of Conspiracy than Twenty of Allegiance His life is govern'd by a Phanatical License that Emancipates him from the Servile and Pedantick Obligation of Congruity in his Life and manners and Stages him as one of the Antipodes to mankind made up of Crossness and Opposition His Christian Liberty is Thwarting Authority and advancing an Antichristian Anarchy In placing the Sovereign Power in the People and making as many Kings as there are Men in England He is the Spider in the Emblem he fetches Poison out of every thing and had rather go to Hell in a Rebellious Road of his own Finding than to Heaven in the way of Peace and Obedience Like a Mole he works under-ground to throw up Fears and Jealousies and when they have once taken Air if Lucifer himself sounded the Trumpet it could not give a stronger Alarm to Insurrections and Assassinations He has commonly a Bible in his Hand and the Gospel in his Mouth and yet 't is legible by his Actions that he quarters his Coat with the Atheist in the Pslams that says in his Heart there is no God He makes a Conscience of every thing and Nothing What the Law requires he Pukes at like a Breeding Woman but to promote his own Traiterous Designs the seven deadly Sins pass whole through him without so much as Kecking He is by Complection Sower and Saturnine but half a Dozen Bottles will wind him up to the Pitch of Jest and Buffoonery but either Drunk or Sober merry or melancholy Grave or Frolicksome he is still a Malcontented Whig but whether 't is Hugh Peters of our side or t'other is not yet Determin'd and therefore Reader cross thy self and have nothing to do with him for if all the Wickedness of Mankind were lost there 's enough in him to Replenish the World with Vices and crow'd Hell with Obstinate and Impenitent Criminals The Scurrilous and Seditious Whig Writer IS generally speaking either an Unimployed Needy Lawyer a Proscrib'd Field Conventicler a Caledonian Medicaster or a Renegado Popish Priest new Lick'd into a Socinian Tubster and under some or all these Qualifications commences a Member Politick of an Incorporate Faction a Formal Pedantick Fault-finder in Government and a Pamphleteer for Seditious Malcontended Clubbers His Stile is either a Blustering Noise of Insignificant pompous Words that threaten to kill six Opponents with his Pen and Six and twenty with his Inkhorn or else a Fardle of Obsolete Phrases or Moth-eaten Adages that were in use when Men wore Bonnets and wip'd their Noses on their Sleeves for want of Handkerchiefs The Scope of his Pamphlets if they have any is to possess the