Selected quad for the lemma: friend_n

Word A Word B Word C Word D Occurrence Frequency Band MI MI Band Prominent
friend_n appear_v great_a time_n 915 5 3.1574 3 true
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ID Title Author Corrected Date of Publication (TCP Date of Publication) STC Words Pages
A31196 The art of complaisance, or, The means to oblige in conversation S. C. 1673 (1673) Wing C119; ESTC R10330 48,007 195

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agreeable_a and_o esteem_v of_o all_o these_o mean_n if_o manage_v with_o artifice_n and_o discretion_n have_v a_o certain_a occult_a power_n to_o move_v and_o dispose_v the_o mind_n to_o give_v faith_n and_o credit_n to_o he_o who_o serve_v himself_o of_o they_o i_o have_v say_v discretion_n because_o we_o may_v sometime_o meet_v with_o person_n of_o that_o nature_n though_o they_o be_v very_o rare_a at_o court_n which_o be_v at_o such_o a_o distance_n from_o that_o ordinary_a vanity_n that_o they_o look_v with_o too_o much_o suspicion_n and_o distrust_n on_o this_o kind_n of_o procedure_v for_o this_o reason_n with_o such_o person_n as_o be_v free_a from_o affectation_n we_o must_v venture_v upon_o such_o compliment_n only_o in_o such_o occasion_n where_o custom_n render_v they_o necessary_a or_o at_o least_o when_o we_o be_v move_v to_o it_o in_o the_o pursuit_n of_o our_o discourse_n or_o affair_n testify_v in_o we_o rather_o the_o constancy_n and_o firm_a resolution_n of_o our_o inclination_n then_o the_o violence_n of_o a_o vehement_a affection_n which_o may_v be_v suspect_v either_o of_o inconstancy_n flattery_n or_o design_n in_o the_o answer_n that_o we_o make_v to_o such_o compliment_n let_v we_o govern_v ourselves_o with_o the_o same_o measure_n and_o temperament_n but_o particular_o in_o our_o answer_n to_o the_o acknowledgement_n of_o obligation_n or_o benefit_n receive_v from_o we_o we_o must_v extenuate_v they_o without_o diminish_v they_o more_o than_o be_v convenient_a which_o some_o as_o vain_o as_o imprudent_o do_v because_o that_o lessen_v they_o too_o much_o as_o by_o say_v that_o they_o be_v but_o such_o common_a courtesy_n as_o we_o show_v to_o any_o other_o we_o accuse_v the_o judgement_n of_o he_o who_o be_v please_v to_o set_v another_o value_n upon_o they_o and_o who_o believe_v he_o have_v a_o pledge_n of_o our_o good_a will_n more_o than_o common_a which_o we_o diminish_v in_o diminish_v the_o benefit_n and_o by_o this_o mean_v we_o debase_v he_o who_o think_v himself_o number_v among_o our_o friend_n equal_a with_o those_o who_o be_v not_o for_o this_o reason_n though_o indeed_o it_o be_v our_o duty_n alone_o which_o move_v we_o to_o do_v he_o this_o pleasure_n we_o may_v show_v as_o if_o a_o particular_a affection_n contribute_v something_o provide_v it_o be_v always_o do_v without_o vanity_n this_o be_v all_o that_o i_o shall_v say_v in_o general_a of_o these_o kind_n of_o affair_n which_o if_o practise_v with_o prudence_n serve_v very_o much_o to_o gain_v we_o credit_n and_o esteem_v whereas_o on_o the_o contrary_a if_o they_o be_v not_o accompany_v with_o discretion_n become_v ridiculous_a and_o be_v omit_v attend_v those_o who_o expect_v they_o of_o we_o after_o i_o have_v speak_v so_o large_o of_o complaisance_n and_o the_o several_a part_n and_o kind_n of_o it_o in_o the_o next_o place_n i_o think_v convenient_a to_o speak_v something_o of_o conversation_n and_o the_o several_a species_n of_o it_o chap._n vi_o of_o conversation_n all_o the_o world_n must_v acknowledge_v that_o it_o be_v conversation_n which_o contribute_v to_o render_v man_n sociable_a and_o make_v up_o the_o great_a commerce_n of_o our_o life_n so_o that_o we_o may_v say_v that_o it_o be_v impossible_a to_o take_v too_o much_o care_n to_o render_v our_o discourse_n please_v and_o profitable_a memory_n may_v furnish_v we_o with_o matter_n to_o maintain_v it_o but_o it_o can_v give_v we_o nothing_o but_o what_o we_o have_v treasure_v up_o before_o so_o that_o it_o be_v necessary_a that_o we_o labour_v to_o enrich_v it_o with_o a_o great_a number_n of_o the_o choice_a thing_n that_o it_o may_v make_v we_o restitution_n when_o we_o have_v occasion_n for_o they_o yet_o how_o necessary_a soever_o its_o succour_n may_v be_v it_o alone_o suffice_v not_o to_o make_v we_o successful_a in_o conversation_n since_o it_o be_v require_v that_o judgement_n be_v join_v with_o it_o to_o regulate_v what_o we_o have_v to_o speak_v and_o to_o engage_v we_o to_o view_v with_o circumspection_n what_o we_o be_v oblige_v to_o observe_v it_o forbid_v we_o to_o speak_v gallantry_n to_o a_o old_a and_o austere_a doctor_n and_o to_o entertain_v young_a lady_n with_o discourse_n of_o geometry_n for_o though_o a_o man_n shall_v speak_v admirable_o of_o both_o these_o thing_n yet_o he_o will_v not_o fail_v to_o be_v think_v very_o tedious_a to_o those_o who_o humour_n be_v at_o enmity_n with_o such_o conversation_n so_o that_o it_o be_v not_o only_o necessary_a to_o speak_v excellent_o of_o thing_n but_o it_o be_v also_o necessary_a that_o those_o discourse_n be_v well_o time_v and_o place_v for_o the_o eye_n which_o exceed_v in_o lustre_n the_o other_o part_n of_o the_o face_n will_v render_v we_o monstrous_a if_o they_o be_v not_o place_v where_o nature_n design_v they_o it_o be_v then_o necessary_a to_o observe_v well_o all_o the_o circumstance_n which_o regard_v those_o person_n to_o who_o we_o speak_v the_o place_n where_o they_o be_v and_o the_o subject_n wherewith_o we_o entertain_v they_o for_o when_o the_o subject_n shall_v be_v great_a and_o elevate_v we_o must_v not_o speak_v with_o a_o light_n and_o wanton_a air_n and_o how_o know_v so_o ere_o we_o be_v we_o may_v happy_o testify_v a_o too_o great_a concernment_n to_o make_v appear_v our_o knowledge_n on_o the_o contrary_a we_o must_v give_v to_o the_o rest_n of_o the_o company_n time_n to_o speak_v their_o thought_n that_o we_o may_v not_o draw_v upon_o ourselves_o the_o same_o reproach_n that_o a_o lady_n very_o pleasant_o make_v to_o one_o of_o her_o friend_n that_o friend_n who_o be_v a_o gentleman_n doubtless_o of_o very_o great_a learning_n so_o deep_o plunge_v himself_o one_o day_n into_o a_o discourse_n of_o politic_n speak_v of_o the_o conduct_n of_o philip_n the_o second_o that_o force_v the_o lady_n i_o speak_v of_o to_o interrupt_v he_o after_o she_o have_v thus_o patient_o hear_v he_o a_o very_a long_a time_n why_o sir_n say_v she_o to_o he_o will_v you_o be_v wise_a from_o morning_n night_n we_o ought_v always_o in_o our_o discourse_n to_o have_v regard_n to_o truth_n as_o the_o ground_n of_o conversation_n but_o to_o avoid_v involve_v myself_o in_o those_o great_a question_n concern_v truth_n i_o shall_v content_v myself_o to_o say_v that_o it_o be_v a_o conformity_n of_o our_o word_n with_o our_o thought_n without_o determine_v whether_o there_o ought_v to_o be_v a_o precise_a similitude_n of_o the_o thought_n we_o express_v to_o the_o thing_n we_o have_v in_o our_o mind_n this_o virtue_n be_v so_o extensive_a that_o it_o be_v of_o general_a profit_n upon_o which_o all_o the_o commerce_n of_o this_o life_n may_v be_v very_o solid_o establish_v if_o man_n love_v it_o so_o much_o as_o they_o be_v enemy_n to_o it_o the_o most_o flourish_a nation_n have_v always_o have_v truth_n in_o a_o particular_a veneration_n the_o persian_n according_a to_o herodotus_n instruct_v their_o child_n to_o speak_v it_o very_o exact_o and_o indebt_v person_n be_v only_o hold_v in_o such_o contempt_n among_o they_o because_o they_o presume_v they_o be_v constrain_v to_o lie_v often_o when_o they_o converse_v with_o their_o creditor_n we_o see_v by_o our_o own_o experience_n that_o our_o own_o nation_n show_v themselves_o such_o friend_n to_o truth_n that_o they_o think_v nothing_o more_o offensive_a than_o when_o any_o give_v another_o the_o lie_n yet_o many_o person_n imagine_v that_o none_o can_v prosper_v in_o their_o design_n at_o court_n without_o a_o continual_a dissimulation_n and_o make_v a_o particular_a profession_n never_o to_o speak_v their_o true_a thought_n that_o error_n be_v almost_o general_a yet_o a_o reasonable_a distinction_n may_v draw_v we_o out_o of_o it_o i_o confess_v that_o a_o man_n to_o who_o one_o have_v entrust_v a_o secret_a be_v oblige_v to_o be_v faithful_a and_o not_o to_o discover_v what_o be_v important_a to_o be_v conceal_v it_o be_v not_o necessary_a that_o a_o courtier_n 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affair_n and_o conversation_n so_o our_o manner_n of_o procedure_n shall_v change_v and_o answer_v the_o inclination_n of_o the_o prince_n in_o the_o time_n of_o war_n we_o see_v a_o prince_n caress_n and_o endear_v his_o captain_n and_o man_n of_o war_n of_o who_o in_o time_n of_o peace_n the_o necessity_n be_v pass_v he_o make_v very_o little_a account_n and_o changege_v his_o martial_a inclination_n into_o those_o of_o pleasure_n he_o transfer_v favour_n and_o affection_n to_o the_o minister_n of_o his_o content_n tiberius_n be_v one_o under_o augustus_n another_o during_o the_o life_n of_o germanicus_n and_o drusus_n another_o during_o the_o life_n of_o livia_n his_o mother_n when_o he_o love_v and_o fear_v sejanus_n he_o very_o much_o differ_v from_o what_o he_o be_v when_o his_o fear_n be_v remove_v according_a to_o the_o say_n of_o passienus_n he_o never_o see_v a_o better_a servant_n than_o caligula_n in_o the_o time_n of_o tiberius_n nor_o a_o worse_a master_n when_o he_o 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he_o laugh_v at_o a_o place_n where_o all_o the_o company_n be_v serious_a or_o sorrowful_a he_o sigh_v or_o appear_v pensive_a when_o we_o hear_v the_o company_n laugh_v from_o every_o side_n and_o see_v no_o mark_n but_o of_o rejoice_v we_o must_v visit_v lady_n after_o another_o manner_n and_o with_o a_o different_a intention_n it_o be_v not_o only_o permit_v we_o to_o pretend_v to_o a_o general_a esteem_n or_o to_o a_o place_n among_o their_o particular_a friend_n but_o i_o may_v say_v even_o that_o the_o design_n to_o render_v ourselves_o belove_v may_v produce_v very_o good_a effect_n to_o aspire_v to_o this_o advantage_n we_o must_v acquire_v all_o the_o quality_n of_o a_o true_o accomplish_a man_n we_o must_v have_v wit_n sweetness_n and_o complaisance_n we_o must_v be_v brave_a civil_a honest_a liberal_a and_o have_v something_o of_o free_a gallant_a and_o noble_a in_o our_o action_n and_o
and_o translate_v into_o our_o own_o tongue_n in_o which_o you_o may_v learn_v the_o mode_n of_o france_n and_o be_v teach_v upon_o the_o author_n ground_n to_o make_v of_o the_o usuage_n of_o our_o own_o nation_n a_o perpetual_a rule_n i_o have_v here_o the_o occasion_n to_o speak_v of_o raillery_n as_o a_o part_n of_o affability_n which_o serve_v to_o season_v our_o discourse_n nature_n have_v give_v laughter_n to_o man_n as_o a_o release_n of_o those_o sad_a and_o melanchollique_n humour_n which_o usual_o attend_v we_o in_o our_o serious_a affair_n there_o must_v be_v use_v in_o the_o practice_n of_o it_o great_a judgement_n and_o discretion_n for_o those_o who_o use_v it_o licentious_o and_o on_o all_o occasion_n instead_o of_o be_v esteem_v affable_a gain_n only_o the_o name_n of_o buffoon_n we_o must_v use_v it_o then_o with_o sobriety_n and_o intersperse_v it_o as_o a_o ray_n of_o light_n amid_o the_o obscurity_n of_o a_o grave_a discourse_n in_o such_o a_o manner_n as_o may_v not_o detract_v from_o the_o dignity_n of_o the_o person_n or_o of_o the_o affair_n of_o which_o we_o treat_v for_o as_o a_o little_a water_n cast_v upon_o a_o great_a fire_n inflame_v it_o more_o which_o a_o great_a quantity_n will_v extinguish_v so_o raillery_n too_o frequent_a lose_v its_o grace_n and_o ruin_v the_o dignity_n of_o he_o who_o serve_v himself_o of_o it_o but_o intermix_v and_o sprinkle_v with_o judgement_n it_o strange_o revive_v and_o animate_v the_o faint_a conversation_n so_o that_o we_o ought_v to_o use_v it_o as_o delicious_a sauce_n and_o not_o as_o food_n least_o in_o lieu_n of_o give_v we_o pleasure_n by_o its_o agreeable_a relish_n it_o cause_n satiety_n and_o disgust_n the_o quality_n of_o this_o raillery_n ought_v to_o be_v innocent_a and_o in_o no_o part_n odious_a that_o be_v to_o say_v too_o tart_a or_o bitter_a and_o that_o it_o turn_v not_o into_o mockery_n slander_n or_o reproach_n of_o some_o truth_n which_o may_v bring_v shame_n or_o a_o just_a confusion_n on_o he_o with_o who_o we_o discourse_n for_o this_o instead_o of_o gain_v affection_n common_o provoke_v to_o contempt_n disdain_n or_o enmity_n and_o create_v particular_o in_o great_a man_n a_o long_a if_o not_o a_o immortal_a resentment_n and_o though_o it_o seem_v our_o due_n to_o be_v allow_v some_o reply_n to_o those_o who_o attack_v we_o after_o the_o same_o manner_n yet_o the_o most_o prudent_a and_o modest_a counsel_n we_o can_v take_v be_v to_o rebate_v the_o point_n of_o such_o word_n either_o with_o a_o grae_fw-la silence_n or_o a_o negligent_a smile_n rather_o than_o with_o a_o bite_a reply_n hazard_v the_o loss_n of_o our_o friend_n it_o be_v a_o kind_n of_o acknowledge_v the_o truth_n of_o a_o jest_n to_o seem_v sting_v and_o offend_v at_o it_o whereas_o on_o the_o contrary_n seem_v to_o slight_v it_o we_o make_v other_o believe_v there_o be_v nothing_o in_o it_o and_o so_o it_o pass_v without_o leave_v any_o ill_a or_o disadvantageous_a impression_n of_o we_o in_o the_o mind_n of_o the_o hearer_n we_o ought_v also_o to_o shun_v such_o jest_n as_o be_v usual_o observe_v in_o the_o mouth_n of_o person_n of_o the_o vile_a condition_n and_o which_o have_v in_o they_o something_o i_o know_v not_o what_o of_o servile_a and_o abject_a and_o also_o those_o which_o arise_v from_o equivocation_n and_o word_n of_o a_o double_a intent_n because_o they_o be_v common_o foolish_a constrain_v and_o ill_o take_v but_o above_o all_o let_v we_o beware_v they_o be_v not_o accompany_v with_o grimace_n or_o ingenia_fw-la or_o sueton._n histrionem_fw-la &_o philosophum_fw-la nihil_fw-la amplius_fw-la quam_fw-la urbe_fw-la itali●que_fw-la summovit_fw-la vel_fw-la contemptu_fw-la omnis_fw-la insamioe_fw-la vel_fw-la ne_fw-la faciendo_fw-la dolorem_fw-la irritaret_fw-la ingenia_fw-la disagreeable_a gesture_n after_o the_o manner_n of_o player_n mimic_n and_o buffoon_n i_o have_v know_v some_o gentleman_n who_o have_v not_o want_v either_o wit_n goodness_n or_o good_a nature_n yet_o by_o their_o disagreeable_a meen_n and_o manner_n of_o expression_n even_o of_o what_o in_o itself_o have_v be_v innocent_a enough_o have_v unhappy_o gain_v as_o many_o enemy_n as_o new_a acquaintance_n whensoever_o we_o have_v a_o occasion_n to_o make_v a_o facetious_a repartie_n it_o must_v not_o seem_v affect_v or_o premediate_v but_o as_o if_o it_o be_v bear_v without_o pain_n or_o thought_n we_o must_v also_o avoid_v those_o which_o tend_v to_o our_o own_o praise_n or_o advantage_n or_o which_o verge_n upon_o pride_n or_o presumption_n nor_o ought_v our_o raillery_n bite_v so_o sharp_o as_o to_o engage_v the_o enmity_n or_o hate_n of_o another_o this_o will_v be_v too_o dear_a a_o purchase_n of_o a_o light_n and_o shameful_a satisfaction_n it_o behoove_v we_o no_o less_o to_o be_v cautious_a in_o reproach_v another_o for_o the_o same_o thing_n for_o which_o we_o stand_v reproachable_a nor_o ought_v we_o to_o scoff_n at_o the_o miserable_a and_o unhappy_a as_o be_v a_o thing_n too_o cruel_a and_o barbarous_a nor_o at_o our_o friend_n or_o parent_n as_o a_o thing_n unnatural_a full_a of_o malignity_n and_o inhumanity_n in_o short_a he_o who_o give_v himself_o liberty_n to_o jest_n or_o rally_v must_v do_v it_o with_o great_a consideration_n of_o the_o quality_n of_o the_o person_n place_n time_n and_o other_o circumstance_n as_o to_o the_o several_a sort_n of_o jest_n the_o number_n be_v great_a and_o various_a some_o consist_v in_o a_o rencontre_n of_o word_n which_o be_v now_o account_v the_o low_a kind_n other_o in_o the_o conception_n and_o intent_n of_o he_o who_o speak_v and_o some_o in_o a_o certain_a manner_n of_o answer_v as_o when_o we_o answer_v what_o be_v least_o expect_v from_o we_o or_o when_o we_o reply_v cold_o and_o without_o emotion_n to_o a_o demand_n make_v with_o a_o press_a ardure_n and_o impatience_n of_o which_o several_a kind_n though_o i_o can_v bring_v many_o example_n of_o the_o ancient_n and_o of_o witty_a man_n of_o this_o age_n yet_o because_o they_o be_v better_o learn_v by_o practice_n and_o conversation_n i_o shall_v here_o omit_v they_o they_o be_v also_o for_o the_o most_o cold_a in_o the_o recital_n if_o the_o word_n be_v not_o animate_v with_o the_o grace_n wherewith_o they_o be_v at_o first_o pronounce_v compliment_n also_o make_v a_o part_n of_o affability_n we_o call_v a_o compliment_n a_o short_a expression_n of_o love_n a_o declaration_n or_o demonstration_n of_o honour_n and_o of_o obligation_n to_o those_o who_o we_o desire_v to_o induce_v to_o a_o confidence_n and_o assurance_n that_o they_o be_v belove_v with_o a_o extraordinary_a and_o reciprocal_a affection_n these_o kind_n of_o office_n as_o all_o other_o have_v their_o mean_n and_o extremity_n so_o that_o to_o observe_v a_o mediocrity_n it_o be_v necessary_a to_o enter_v into_o a_o consideration_n of_o circumstance_n as_o of_o the_o person_n place_n time_n thing_n and_o of_o the_o cause_n because_o another_o manner_n of_o speak_v be_v requisite_a to_o a_o person_n of_o a_o illustrious_a rank_n then_o to_o our_o equal_n or_o inferior_n so_o one_o manner_n of_o speak_v be_v require_v when_o it_o be_v only_a to_o express_v our_o good_a will_n &_o a_o other_o when_o it_o be_v to_o manifest_v our_o obligation_n and_o respect_n but_o we_o ought_v especial_o to_o take_v heed_n that_o we_o suffer_v not_o ourselves_o to_o be_v transport_v with_o beautiful_a word_n lest_o we_o engage_v ourselves_o in_o term_n from_o the_o purpose_n or_o in_o reply_n undecent_a or_o too_o far_o constrain_v so_o among_o person_n which_o be_v our_o familiar_n we_o must_v use_v common_a term_n and_o expession_n not_o researched_a or_o too_o affect_v brief_o we_o ought_v to_o take_v care_n that_o the_o tongue_n and_o judgement_n walk_v together_o accompayn_v our_o discourse_n with_o such_o gesture_n countenance_n and_o action_n as_o be_v expressive_a of_o the_o same_o will_v and_o affection_n give_v to_o know_v in_o short_a the_o cause_n which_o induce_v we_o to_o love_n and_o honour_n and_o to_o think_v ourselves_o oblige_v among_o which_o we_o must_v choose_v such_o as_o be_v most_o proper_a to_o the_o subject_n and_o such_o as_o be_v least_o remote_a or_o best_a know_v to_o he_o to_o who_o we_o address_v our_o compliment_n and_o if_o we_o have_v any_o pledge_n of_o his_o amity_n either_o from_o some_o good_a office_n we_o have_v receive_v from_o he_o or_o from_o expression_n of_o his_o readiness_n to_o serve_v we_o we_o must_v oft_o show_v our_o remembrance_n of_o it_o attribute_v all_o to_o his_o nature_n full_a of_o affection_n and_o courtesy_n to_o which_o he_o will_v give_v so_o much_o more_o credit_n by_o how_o much_o every_o one_o be_v apt_a to_o be_v deceive_v with_o the_o love_n of_o himself_o and_o too_o easy_o to_o persuade_v himself_o that_o other_o believe_v he_o possess_v those_o quality_n which_o render_v he_o