but_o this_o i_o find_v by_o experlence_n to_o the_o praise_n of_o my_o god_n free_a grace_n that_o as_o trouble_n have_v abound_v my_o consolation_n have_v abound_v much_o more_o for_o god_n bring_v seasonable_o into_o my_o mind_n many_o precious_a promise_n which_o be_v as_o so_o many_o sweet_a cordial_n which_o much_o support_v and_o comfort_v my_o heart_n and_o uphold_v my_o spirit_n when_o new_a storm_n have_v arisen_a and_o unexpected_a deliverance_n have_v follow_v and_o i_o have_v and_o do_v resolve_v by_o god_n grace_n not_o to_o distrust_v he_o any_o more_o yer_z though_o more_o and_o great_a danger_n shall_v arise_v yet_o i_o will_v trust_v in_o he_o and_o stay_v myself_o upon_o he_o though_o as_o job_n say_v he_o shall_v slay_v i_o the_o good_a lord_n establish_v my_o heart_n in_o this_o good_a and_o holy_a resolution_n who_o be_v able_a to_o keep_v we_o to_o the_o end_n and_o have_v promise_v that_o he_o will_v preserve_v we_o by_o his_o power_n through_o faith_n to_o 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and_o cast_v down_o in_o i_o fear_v lest_o i_o have_v some_o secret_a sin_n undiscovered_a and_o unrepented_a of_o which_o cause_v the_o lord_n thus_o to_o hide_v his_o face_n from_o i_o but_o then_o my_o gracious_a god_n bring_v this_o into_o my_o mind_n that_o the_o lord_n do_v sometime_o afflict_v we_o for_o the_o exercise_n and_o improvement_n of_o our_o grace_n as_o well_o as_o to_o humble_v we_o for_o our_o sin_n i_o also_o consider_v that_o as_o the_o lord_n do_v tender_a great_a mercy_n to_o we_o in_o this_o sacrament_n renew_v his_o covenant_n of_o grace_n and_o seal_v to_o we_o the_o pardon_n of_o our_o sin_n in_o the_o blood_n of_o christ_n so_o he_o give_v we_o leave_v to_o engage_v ourselves_o by_o renew_v our_o covenant_n with_o he_o to_o believe_v in_o he_o and_o to_o trust_v upon_o christ_n for_o life_n and_o salvation_n and_o it_o please_v god_n to_o give_v i_o faith_n to_o apply_v this_o to_o my_o own_o particular_a soul_n and_o a_o while_n after_o to_o show_v i_o and_o to_o make_v good_a to_o my_o soul_n that_o precious_a and_o comfortable_a promise_n that_o though_o he_o hide_v his_o face_n from_o we_o for_o a_o little_a moment_n yet_o with_o mercy_n and_o lâ—ving_a kindness_n he_o will_v return_v to_o we_o again_o this_o be_v a_o wonderful_a comfort_n and_o support_v to_o my_o deject_a heart_n bless_a be_v the_o lord_n for_o ever_o i_o desire_v to_o treasure_n up_o these_o experience_n that_o for_o the_o future_a i_o may_v in_o the_o like_a case_n resolve_v to_o put_v my_o whole_a trust_n and_o conâ—idence_n in_o he_o that_o so_o satan_n may_v not_o entrap_v i_o in_o his_o snare_n through_o unbelief_n but_o that_o i_o may_v resist_v he_o steadfast_a in_o the_o faith_n for_o i_o be_o not_o altogether_o ignorant_a of_o his_o device_n god_n promise_n be_v that_o in_o all_o these_o thing_n we_o shall_v be_v more_o than_o conqueror_n through_o he_o that_o have_v love_v we_o and_o have_v say_v that_o this_o be_v the_o victory_n whereby_o we_o 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clotilda_n q._n of_o france_n 9_o andegona_n princess_n of_o spain_n adorn_v with_o poem_n and_o picture_n pr._n 1s_o 19_o wonderful_a prodigy_n of_o judgement_n &_o mercy_n discover_v in_o above_o 300_o memorable_a history_n contain_v 1._o dreadful_a judgement_n upon_o atheist_n blasphemer_n &_o perjure_a villain_n 2._o the_o miserable_a end_n of_o many_o magician_n etc._n etc._n 3._o remarkable_a prediction_n &_o presage_n of_o approach_a death_n &_o how_o the_o event_n have_v be_v answerable_a 4._o fearful_a judgement_n upon_o bloody_a tyrant_n murderer_n etc._n etc._n 5._o admirable_a deliverance_n from_o imminent_a danger_n and_o deplorable_a distress_n at_o sea_n and_o land_n last_o divine_a goodness_n to_o penitent_n with_o the_o die_a thought_n of_o several_a famous_a men._n pr._n 1s_o 20_o unparalleled_a variety_n of_o the_o matchless_a action_n and_o passion_n of_o mankind_n display_v in_o near_o 400._o notable_a instance_n and_o example_n discover_v the_o transcendent_a effect_n 1._o of_o love_n friendship_n and_o gratitude_n 2._o of_o magnanimity_n courage_n and_o
be_v the_o lord_n say_v with_o mary_n in_o luke_n 1._o my_o soul_n do_v magnify_v the_o lord_n and_o my_o spirit_n do_v rejoice_v in_o god_n my_o saviour_n who_o have_v regard_v the_o low_a estate_n of_o his_o handmaid_n 8._o though_o former_o my_o foundation_n be_v build_v upon_o the_o sand_n and_o therefore_o easy_o overthrow_v yet_o now_o i_o trust_v in_o the_o lord_n i_o be_o establish_v by_o faith_n build_v upon_o that_o rock_n which_o be_v the_o love_n of_o god_n my_o saviour_n christ_n be_v the_o corner_n stone_n isa_n 28.16_o behold_v i_o lie_v in_o zion_n a_o stone_n a_o try_a stone_n he_o that_o believe_v shall_v not_o make_v haste_n 9_o i_o wait_v upon_o the_o will_n of_o my_o heavenly_a father_n in_o all_o his_o dispensation_n for_o a_o more_o full_a enjoyment_n of_o jesus_n christ_n in_o my_o soul_n which_o i_o do_v hunger_n and_o thirst_n after_o and_o i_o have_v the_o promise_n of_o my_o god_n that_o i_o shall_v be_v fill_v and_o have_v taste_v i_o have_v find_v the_o lord_n be_v gracious_a and_o more_o to_o be_v desire_v than_o thousand_o of_o world_n 10._o i_o believe_v not_o upon_o other_o word_n but_o as_o in_o john_n 4.42_o as_o some_o say_v to_o the_o woman_n of_o samaria_n now_o we_o believe_v not_o because_o of_o thy_o say_n for_o we_o have_v hear_v he_o ourselves_o and_o know_v that_o this_o be_v indeed_o the_o christ_n the_o saviour_n of_o the_o world_n 11._o as_o david_n say_v i_o have_v faint_v unless_o i_o have_v believe_v to_o see_v the_o goodness_n of_o the_o lord_n and_o i_o believe_v therefore_o have_v i_o speak_v for_o i_o be_v great_o afflict_v as_o the_o apostle_n say_v you_o be_v complete_a in_o christ_n therefore_o i_o reckon_v myself_o in_o he_o 12._o the_o lord_n have_v clear_v it_o to_o i_o that_o i_o be_o a_o believer_n i_o be_o confident_a that_o christ_n jesus_n do_v pray_v to_o his_o father_n for_o i_o in_o the_o 17._o of_o john_n say_v i_o pray_v not_o for_o these_o only_a but_o for_o they_o that_o shall_v believe_v through_o their_o word_n that_o they_o may_v be_v one_o even_o as_o we_o be_v one_o therefore_o thou_o be_v my_o god_n and_o i_o will_v praise_v thou_o for_o thou_o have_v hear_v i_o and_o be_v become_v my_o salvation_n thus_o in_o some_o measure_n i_o have_v weak_o hint_v out_o a_o reason_n of_o the_o hope_n that_o be_v in_o i_o trust_v in_o my_o god_n that_o as_o he_o have_v take_v away_o the_o guilt_n of_o sin_n out_o of_o my_o conscience_n so_o in_o his_o due_a time_n he_o will_v take_v away_o all_o sin_n from_o my_o conversation_n as_o he_o have_v give_v i_o a_o pardon_n for_o sin_n so_o he_o will_v overpower_v all_o my_o corruption_n that_o i_o may_v live_v more_o to_o the_o praise_n of_o the_o glory_n of_o his_o grace_n wherein_o he_o have_v make_v i_o accept_v in_o the_o belove_a and_o that_o i_o shall_v become_v over_o sin_n satan_n self_n and_o all_o thing_n opposite_a to_o grace_n more_o than_o a_o conqueror_n through_o he_o that_o have_v love_v i_o and_o wash_v i_o from_o my_o sin_n in_o his_o blood_n for_o to_o he_o be_v all_o thing_n possible_a and_o he_o be_v the_o wise_a master-builder_n who_o will_v not_o only_o begin_v but_o will_v go_v on_o to_o accomplish_v his_o own_o work_n d._n r._n xxviii_o experience_n of_o a._n o._n i_o have_v undergo_v sad_a trouble_n of_o spirit_n for_o my_o sin_n which_o i_o have_v have_v a_o great_a sight_n and_o sense_n of_o and_o shed_v many_o tear_n for_o and_o desire_v to_o be_v true_o sorry_a for_o they_o and_o hate_v they_o and_o to_o have_v no_o more_o communion_n with_o they_o about_o two_o year_n i_o lay_v under_o very_o great_a temptation_n and_o be_v ready_a to_o despair_v and_o for_o several_a night_n can_v not_o take_v any_o rest_n in_o my_o bed_n but_o be_v very_o weak_a with_o weep_v and_o much_o grieve_v for_o my_o evil_a thought_n yet_o the_o lord_n draw_v forth_o my_o heart_n to_o call_v upon_o he_o and_o hope_v in_o he_o for_o mercy_n but_o i_o have_v many_o sore_a conflict_n insomuch_o that_o i_o can_v not_o lie_v in_o the_o chamber_n alone_o i_o make_v what_o use_n i_o can_v of_o opportunity_n to_o desire_v comfort_n from_o such_o godly_a christian_n as_o i_o can_v meet_v withal_o to_o counsel_v i_o in_o the_o way_n of_o god_n and_o i_o labour_v to_o hearken_v to_o they_o but_o find_v my_o heart_n very_o dull_a and_o heavy_a for_o a_o time_n until_o about_o three_o year_n since_o i_o begin_v to_o find_v comfort_n from_o some_o sermon_n that_o i_o hear_v and_o book_n that_o i_o read_v and_o some_o thought_n that_o the_o lord_n settle_v upon_o my_o heart_n by_o his_o spirit_n hope_v that_o there_o be_v mercy_n for_o i_o and_o i_o do_v believe_v that_o i_o have_v all_o the_o prayer_n of_o all_o the_o saint_n in_o the_o world_n put_v up_o to_o the_o throne_n of_o grace_n for_o i_o and_o that_o my_o saviour_n have_v satisfy_v for_o my_o sin_n and_o through_o he_o god_n be_v reconcile_v to_o i_o and_o in_o particular_a i_o find_v comfort_n from_o these_o and_o some_o other_o promise_n john_n 16.35_o jesus_n say_v unto_o they_o i_o be_o the_o bread_n of_o life_n he_o that_o come_v to_o i_o shall_v never_o hunger_n and_o he_o that_o believe_v on_o i_o shall_v never_o thirst_v verse_n 37._o all_o that_o the_o father_n give_v i_o shall_v come_v to_o i_o and_o he_o that_o come_v to_o i_o i_o will_v in_o no_o wise_a cast_v out_o john_n 14.1_o let_v not_o your_o heart_n be_v trouble_v you_o believe_v in_o god_n believe_v also_o in_o i_o jerem._n 31.23_o but_o this_o shall_v he_o the_o covenant_n that_o i_o will_v make_v with_o the_o house_n of_o israel_n after_o those_o day_n say_v the_o lord_n i_o will_v put_v my_o law_n in_o their_o inward_a part_n and_o write_v it_o in_o their_o heart_n and_o i_o will_v be_v their_o god_n and_o they_o shall_v be_v my_o people_n and_o i_o do_v find_v in_o my_o heart_n a_o testimony_n of_o my_o believe_v &_o that_o i_o do_v love_n god_n wrought_v in_o i_o by_o his_o bless_a spirit_n by_o these_o particular_n 1._o i_o love_v god_n not_o through_o slavish_a fear_n but_o for_o his_o name_n and_o glory_n so_o that_o i_o can_v leave_v all_o for_o he_o and_o nothing_o be_v so_o dear_a and_o precious_a unto_o i_o as_o the_o love_n of_o god_n and_o nothing_o so_o great_a a_o joy_n to_o i_o as_o that_o christ_n who_o die_v for_o i_o have_v not_o leave_v i_o 2._o i_o find_v such_o comfort_n from_o the_o lord_n that_o he_o by_o his_o spirit_n revive_v my_o droop_a heart_n and_o fill_v my_o empty_a soul_n and_o when_o my_o poor_a spirit_n be_v even_o faint_v away_o i_o find_v comfort_n from_o his_o glorious_a power_n and_o presence_n 3._o when_o i_o can_v come_v to_o ordinance_n it_o be_v a_o grief_n to_o i_o and_o when_o i_o be_o in_o duty_n it_o be_v a_o grief_n to_o i_o that_o i_o be_o so_o dull_a and_o find_v no_o more_o enlargement_n yet_o my_o affection_n be_v groan_v after_o the_o lord_n jesus_n christ_n in_o duty_n and_o i_o have_v a_o great_a longing_n to_o receive_v more_o of_o christ_n and_o i_o find_v more_o comfort_n when_o my_o heart_n be_v enlarge_v in_o duty_n than_o in_o any_o other_o thing_n in_o the_o world_n and_o i_o know_v that_o all_o my_o comfort_n be_v from_o jesus_n christ_n 4._o what_o i_o desire_v to_o enjoy_v i_o seek_v to_o enjoy_v it_o in_o god_n through_o peace_n of_o conscience_n that_o it_o may_v be_v to_o the_o comfort_n of_o my_o faith_n for_o god_n be_v pure_a and_o it_o be_v a_o great_a grief_n to_o i_o that_o i_o can_v serve_v my_o god_n no_o better_o 5._o i_o do_v not_o fear_v death_n for_o my_o faith_n be_v so_o settle_a in_o god_n that_o i_o long_o to_o be_v with_o my_o saviour_n when_o he_o shall_v be_v please_v to_o call_v i_o to_o he_o christ_n have_v dye_v for_o i_o to_o take_v away_o the_o fear_n of_o the_o second_o death_n a._n o._n xxix_o experience_n of_o m._n w._n i_o have_v from_o my_o childhood_n desire_v to_o serve_v the_o lord_n and_o to_o make_v his_o commandment_n my_o rule_n to_o walk_v by_o and_o i_o think_v once_o that_o i_o can_v have_v say_v with_o the_o young_a man_n in_o the_o gospel_n all_o these_o have_v i_o keep_v from_o my_o youth_n but_o it_o please_v the_o lord_n to_o visit_v i_o with_o a_o grievous_a sickness_n even_o unto_o death_n and_o then_o my_o heart_n tell_v i_o that_o i_o be_v a_o great_a sinner_n and_o my_o conscience_n accuse_v i_o that_o i_o have_v love_v the_o world_n more_o than_o i_o have_v love_v jesus_n christ_n then_o i_o be_v afflict_v in_o my_o spirit_n with_o fear_n because_o i_o can_v not_o believe_v
not_o at_o that_o time_n take_v comfort_n in_o any_o thing_n and_o have_v i_o not_o be_v with_o child_n &_o affect_v with_o natural_a inclination_n to_o the_o babe_n in_o my_o womb_n i_o have_v be_v in_o danger_n have_v not_o god_n prevent_v i_o to_o have_v destroy_v myself_o for_o i_o have_v some_o temptation_n that_o way_n but_o my_o god_n strengthen_v i_o yet_o before_o i_o be_v bring_v to_o bed_n i_o find_v peace_n and_o comfort_n and_o through_o grace_n have_v such_o settlement_n in_o my_o spirit_n that_o i_o can_v with_o joy_n night_n and_o day_n call_v upon_o my_o god_n believe_o but_o before_o i_o attain_v to_o this_o i_o have_v many_o sore_a conflict_n until_o after_o some_o consideration_n that_o the_o lord_n have_v put_v into_o my_o mind_n as_o first_o touch_v the_o child_n that_o i_o go_v with_o because_o god_n have_v say_v the_o just_a and_o innocent_a slay_n thou_o not_o and_o then_o consider_v the_o innocency_n of_o the_o child_n it_o become_v a_o mean_n to_o stay_v my_o hand_n from_o lay_v violence_n upon_o myself_o yet_o for_o a_o time_n i_o be_v much_o trouble_v in_o spirit_n till_o god_n give_v i_o peace_n from_o these_o and_o other_o scriptureâ—_n promise_n where_o the_o lord_n say_v call_v upon_o i_o in_o the_o day_n of_o trouble_n and_o i_o will_v deliver_v thou_o &_o thou_o shall_v glorify_v i_o psal_n 50.15_o sin_n shall_v not_o have_v dominion_n over_o you_o for_o you_o be_v noâ—_n under_o the_o law_n but_o under_o grace_n rom._n 6.14_o now_o the_o testimony_n of_o my_o conversion_n and_o true_a believe_v in_o which_o i_o hope_v i_o have_v a_o seal_n of_o my_o interest_n in_o the_o lord_n jesus_n be_v these_o 1._o my_o love_n to_o god_n which_o be_v real_a sincere_a and_o hearty_a desire_v he_o above_o any_o thing_n else_o whatsoever_o 2._o my_o rely_v upon_o jesus_n christ_n have_v nothing_o of_o my_o own_o to_o rest_v upon_o i_o fly_v to_o he_o and_z rest_z oâ—_n he_o for_o all_o as_o my_o alone_a saviour_n and_o redeemer_n 3_o i_o delight_v to_o read_v the_o holy_a word_n of_o god_n and_o to_o hear_v or_o other_o wise_a to_o partake_v thereof_o in_o which_o i_o find_v much_o comfort_n 4._o the_o comfort_n which_o i_o find_v by_o enlargement_n of_o my_o soul_n when_o god_n come_v in_o under_o the_o mean_n in_o duty_n and_o the_o loathnesse_n i_o have_v to_o be_v deprive_v of_o the_o ordinance_n 5._o the_o peace_n i_o find_v with_o my_o god_n in_o my_o soul_n which_o be_v sweet_a though_o not_o without_o much_o heaviness_n of_o spirit_n for_o my_o fail_n i_o do_v not_o live_v without_o wane_v and_o change_v in_o my_o spiritual_a life_n and_o faith_n towards_o the_o lord_n for_o sometime_o i_o trust_v god_n with_o all_o and_o at_o other_o time_n i_o meet_v with_o some_o donbting_n yet_o bless_v be_v god_n i_o find_v they_o more_o and_o more_o assuage_v and_o my_o communion_n with_o christ_n every_o day_n more_o sweet_a and_o full_a 6._o i_o doubt_v not_o but_o the_o lord_n jesus_n christ_n my_o redeemer_n will_v so_o support_v i_o through_o his_o grace_n that_o what_o ever_o my_o condition_n have_v be_v or_o shall_v be_v here_o i_o shall_v not_o fail_v of_o salvation_n through_o christ_n in_o heaven_n for_o ever_o l._n p._n xxxv_o experience_n of_o f._n p._n i_o have_v be_v trouble_v at_o the_o thought_n of_o my_o corruption_n and_o wretched_a condition_n i_o have_v former_o have_v some_o doubt_n touching_n the_o scripture_n whether_o they_o be_v truth_n or_o not_o but_o have_v be_v since_o trouble_v that_o i_o make_v those_o foolish_a doubt_n to_o question_n god_n word_n and_o be_v so_o wound_v in_o my_o conscience_n for_o my_o sin_n therein_o that_o i_o fear_v i_o shall_v be_v damn_v for_o it_o because_o i_o think_v it_o be_v a_o sin_n that_o god_n will_v not_o pardon_v i_o have_v also_o strange_a thought_n about_o the_o sinful_a way_n of_o ungodly_a people_n and_o consider_v how_o loose_o people_n live_v i_o and_o temptation_n to_o persuade_v i_o that_o sure_o there_o be_v some_o easy_a way_n to_o heaven_n then_o the_o scripture_n have_v lay_v down_o or_o then_o i_o have_v learn_v but_o for_o these_o evil_a thought_n of_o i_o i_o have_v be_v so_o afflict_v in_o my_o spirit_n that_o i_o think_v i_o be_v a_o damn_a wretch_n i_o have_v be_v tempt_v by_o these_o blasphemous_a thought_n against_o the_o lord_n which_o have_v so_o afflict_v i_o that_o sometime_o i_o fear_v the_o devil_n will_v fetch_v i_o away_o and_o carry_v i_o to_o hell_n and_o i_o have_v think_v sometime_o that_o sure_o god_n can_v not_o in_o justice_n pardon_v such_o sin_n as_o i_o have_v commit_v i_o have_v also_o be_v tempt_v to_o make_v away_o myself_o but_o the_o lord_n god_n put_v i_o in_o mind_n to_o consider_v that_o it_o will_v not_o give_v i_o ease_v or_o comfort_n but_o be_v the_o way_n to_o enter_v into_o endless_a misery_n and_o thus_o i_o lay_v afflict_v with_o a_o most_o sad_a &_o trouble_v some_o spirit_n for_o about_o a_o year_n yet_o though_o with_o little_a hope_n from_o my_o present_a sense_n i_o have_v desire_n that_o god_n will_v save_v i_o and_o some_o groan_n i_o have_v after_o he_o and_o in_o his_o time_n which_o be_v best_a i_o begin_v to_o find_v enlargement_n of_o heart_n from_o god_n and_o a_o great_a longing_n for_o christ_n which_o increase_v through_o the_o work_n of_o his_o glorious_a power_n so_o that_o i_o think_v i_o can_v have_v be_v content_a to_o have_v go_v through_o all_o the_o misery_n in_o the_o world_n to_o have_v enjoy_v he_o and_o in_o my_o sleep_n i_o dream_v that_o i_o see_v my_o saviour_n lie_v in_o a_o grave_a and_o after_o again_o i_o see_v he_o rise_v from_o death_n when_o i_o awake_v and_o have_v some_o thought_n about_o my_o dream_n i_o find_v comfort_n in_o my_o soul_n and_o begin_v more_o sweet_o to_o hope_n that_o christ_n jesus_n die_v for_o my_o sin_n and_o be_v rise_v again_o for_o my_o justification_n but_o the_o devil_n who_o go_v about_o like_o a_o roar_a lion_n do_v still_o tempt_v i_o so_o that_o i_o be_v again_o ready_a to_o despair_v for_o my_o former_a evil_a thought_n and_o i_o be_v afraid_a that_o satan_n will_v have_v i_o and_o i_o doubt_v that_o god_n have_v no_o part_n in_o i_o which_o cause_v i_o to_o weep_v much_o and_o i_o be_v exceed_o trouble_v and_o sometime_o think_v that_o very_o i_o hear_v the_o devil_n come_v in_o a_o whirlwind_n for_o i_o and_o so_o terrify_v be_v my_o conscience_n that_o from_o the_o thought_n of_o the_o wrath_n which_o i_o fear_v i_o can_v have_v wish_v myself_o a_o beast_n a_o dog_n or_o any_o thing_n because_o their_o misery_n will_v have_v a_o end_n but_o aftermany_a comfortable_a discourse_n with_o friend_n and_o read_v some_o godly_a book_n that_o come_v to_o my_o hand_n the_o lord_n god_n in_o time_n deliver_v i_o from_o those_o temptation_n and_o have_v since_o comfort_v i_o with_o these_o promise_n to_o the_o great_a joy_n of_o my_o heart_n though_o some_o time_n i_o have_v not_o be_v without_o some_o doubt_n the_o lord_n have_v say_v be_v content_a with_o such_o thing_n as_o you_o have_v for_o he_o have_v say_v i_o will_v never_o leave_v thou_o nor_o forsake_v thou_o so_o that_o i_o may_v bold_o say_v the_o lord_n be_v my_o helper_n heb._n 13.5,6_o the_o lord_n say_v sin_n shall_v not_o have_v dominion_n over_o you_o rom._n 6.14_o this_o have_v often_o give_v i_o much_o comfort_n and_o keep_v up_o my_o soul_n when_o i_o have_v be_v ready_a to_o despair_v and_o christ_n say_v i_o will_v pray_v the_o father_n and_o he_o shall_v give_v you_o another_o comforter_n that_o he_o may_v abide_v with_o you_o for_o ever_o even_o the_o spirit_n of_o truth_n john_n 14.16,17_o and_o i_o have_v this_o testimony_n of_o my_o interest_n in_o christ_n by_o faith_n wrought_v by_o his_o bless_a spirit_n in_o i_o 1_o i_o see_v such_o a_o frailty_n in_o my_o flesh_n that_o except_o the_o lord_n send_v his_o holy_a spirit_n to_o enable_v i_o i_o can_v do_v any_o thing_n of_o my_o duty_n to_o god_n of_o myself_o it_o be_v the_o spirit_n of_o the_o lord_n and_o not_o any_o thing_n in_o i_o that_o be_v the_o foundation_n of_o my_o comfort_n 2._o i_o have_v have_v many_o time_n if_o my_o heart_n deceive_v i_o not_o clear_a testimony_n and_o evidence_n that_o i_o love_v god_n more_o than_o any_o thing_n else_o and_o desire_v he_o above_o all_o 3._o i_o desire_v much_o to_o hear_v the_o word_n and_o be_o trouble_v that_o sometime_o it_o do_v not_o so_o pierce_v into_o my_o heart_n as_o i_o desire_v 4._o i_o have_v sometime_o such_o sweet_a comfort_n and_o enlargement_n in_o my_o soul_n that_o i_o find_v much_o peace_n with_o god_n thereby_o which_o i_o
prize_v above_o all_o thing_n in_o the_o world_n 5._o i_o desire_v to_o serve_v the_o lord_n in_o all_o thing_n and_o be_o trouble_v when_o any_o thing_n obstruct_v those_o desire_n 6._o i_o hope_v for_o salvation_n and_o true_a blessedness_n from_o jesus_n christ_n my_o redeemer_n and_o from_o he_o alone_o â—_o p._n xxxvi_o experience_n of_o d._n c._n i_o have_v have_v great_a conflict_n of_o soul_n for_o my_o sin_n and_o against_o sin_n and_o have_v shed_v many_o tear_n by_o night_n and_o by_o day_n i_o have_v be_v much_o trouble_v at_o the_o consideration_n of_o such_o thing_n as_o have_v be_v at_o any_o time_n a_o clog_n to_o hinder_v i_o from_o enjoy_v spiritual_a communion_n with_o god_n which_o i_o have_v desire_v it_o be_v the_o great_a grief_n i_o have_v ever_o have_v that_o i_o have_v offend_v so_o good_a a_o god_n and_o indeed_o my_o sin_n have_v be_v a_o very_a great_a trouble_n to_o i_o and_o especial_o in_o that_o god_n have_v give_v i_o a_o measure_n of_o knowledge_n and_o i_o have_v not_o walk_v up_o to_o it_o to_o live_v according_a to_o the_o light_n i_o have_v receive_v but_o i_o have_v find_v comfort_n in_o god_n promise_n christ_n say_v all_o that_o the_o father_n give_v i_o shall_v come_v to_o i_o and_o he_o that_o come_v to_o i_o i_o will_v in_o no_o wise_a cast_v out_o john_n chap._n 6._o verse_n 37._o wherefore_o come_v out_o from_o among_o they_o and_o be_v you_o separate_v say_v the_o lord_n and_o touch_v not_o the_o unclean_a thing_n and_o i_o will_v receive_v you_o and_o will_v be_v a_o father_n unto_o you_o and_o you_o shall_v be_v my_o son_n and_o daughter_n say_v the_o lord_n almighty_n the_o lord_n will_v receive_v we_o if_o we_o repent_v and_o believe_v and_o christ_n call_v come_v unto_o i_o all_o you_o that_o labour_n and_o be_v heavy_a lade_v and_o i_o will_v give_v you_o rest_n matth._n 11.28_o and_o as_o a_o testimony_n of_o my_o regeneration_n i_o have_v these_o experience_n whereby_o to_o give_v account_n of_o the_o hope_n that_o be_v in_o i_o 1._o that_o all_o my_o desire_n be_v chief_o to_o seek_v god_n in_o christ_n 2._o i_o find_v much_o comfort_n in_o duty_n to_o join_v in_o ordinance_n and_o to_o partake_v of_o the_o thing_n of_o god_n 3._o i_o find_v my_o heart_n real_o at_o peace_n with_o all_o the_o world_n 4._o i_o believe_v that_o the_o lord_n god_n be_v at_o peace_n with_o i_o and_o will_v save_v i_o for_o ever_o through_o jesus_n christ_n d._n c._n experience_n of_o mris._n katherine_n clark_n have_v meet_v with_o the_o experience_n of_o this_o religious_a and_o worthy_a gentlewoman_n in_o the_o account_n of_o her_o life_n publish_v by_o her_o pious_a husband_n mr._n samual_n clark_n former_o minister_n of_o st._n bennet_n fink_n london_n which_o be_v find_v write_v in_o she_o own_o hand_n after_o her_o death_n and_o they_o be_v so_o very_o pertinent_a to_o the_o other_o aforemention_v i_o think_v it_o may_v be_v very_o useful_a to_o insert_v they_o without_o any_o alteration_n in_o her_o own_o word_n when_o i_o be_v but_o young_a my_o father_n be_v at_o prayer_n in_o his_o family_n i_o many_o time_n find_v such_o sweetness_n and_o be_v so_o affect_v therewith_o that_o i_o can_v not_o but_o wish_v that_o my_o heart_n may_v be_v often_o in_o such_o a_o frame_n but_o childhood_n and_o the_o vanity_n thereof_o soon_o cool_v these_o heavenly_a spariâ—s_n but_o my_o father_n who_o be_v a_o minister_n cause_v we_o to_o write_v sermon_n and_o to_o repeat_v the_o same_o as_o also_o to_o learn_v mr._n perkins_n catechism_n which_o i_o oft_o repeat_v to_o myself_o when_o i_o be_v alone_o and_o therein_o i_o especial_o take_v notice_n of_o those_o place_n wherein_o he_o have_v set_v down_o the_o sign_n and_o mark_n of_o a_o strong_a and_o weak_a faith_n be_v convince_v in_o my_o conscience_n that_o without_o faith_n i_o can_v not_o be_v save_v and_o that_o every_o faith_n will_v not_o serve_v turn_n to_o bring_v i_o to_o heaven_n hereupon_o i_o fall_v to_o examination_n of_o myself_o and_o though_o i_o can_v not_o find_v the_o mark_n of_o a_o strong_a yet_o through_o god_n mercy_n i_o find_v the_o mark_n of_o a_o true_a though_o but_o wâ—…_n faith_n which_o be_v some_o comfort_n and_o support_v to_o i_o and_o that_o god_n which_o begin_v this_o good_a work_n in_o i_o be_v please_v to_o quicken_v and_o sâ—…_n i_o up_o to_o a_o diligent_a use_n of_o such_o mean_n as_o himself_o hd_v ordain_v and_o appoint_v for_o the_o increase_n thereof_o as_o hear_v the_o word_n preach_v private_a duty_n etc._n etc._n but_o when_o i_o be_v about_o seventeen_o year_n old_a my_o parent_n send_v i_o to_o wait_v upon_o a_o young_a gentlewoman_n in_o northamptonshire_n the_o only_a daughter_n of_o sir_n w._n w._n at_o which_o time_n be_v send_v so_o far_o from_o my_o near_a and_o dear_a relation_n and_o meet_v with_o some_o other_o discouragement_n in_o the_o family_n through_o want_n of_o the_o mean_n of_o grace_n which_o i_o former_o enjoy_v i_o grow_v very_o melancholy_a i_o begin_v also_o to_o have_v great_a working_n of_o conscience_n in_o i_o and_o satan_n the_o deadly_a enemy_n to_o the_o health_n and_o welfare_n of_o our_o soul_n who_o like_o a_o roar_a lion_n walk_v about_o continual_o seek_v who_o he_o may_v devour_v take_v this_o advantage_n through_o my_o ignorance_n of_o his_o device_n to_o raise_v up_o fear_n doubt_n and_o terror_n of_o conscience_n in_o i_o by_o reason_n of_o my_o manifold_a sin_n and_o for_o walk_v so_o unworthy_a of_o god_n mercy_n whilst_o i_o do_v enjoy_v they_o and_o for_o be_v so_o unfruitful_a under_o the_o mean_n of_o grace_n and_o so_o unable_a to_o obey_v god_n and_o keep_v his_o commandment_n and_o by_o reason_n hereof_o i_o have_v no_o peace_n nor_o rest_n to_o my_o soul_n night_n nor_o day_n but_o be_v persuade_v that_o all_o the_o threaten_n contain_v in_o the_o book_n of_o god_n against_o wicked_a and_o ungodly_a man_n do_v belong_v to_o i_o and_o be_v my_o portion_n as_o be_v one_o of_o they_o against_o who_o they_o be_v denounce_v insomuch_o as_o when_o i_o take_v up_o the_o bible_n to_o read_v therein_o it_o be_v accompany_v with_o much_o fear_n and_o tremble_a yet_o be_v convince_v that_o it_o be_v my_o duty_n frequent_o to_o read_v god_n word_n i_o dare_v not_o omit_v or_o neglect_v it_o thus_o i_o continue_v a_o great_a while_n bear_v the_o burden_n of_o grievous_a temptation_n and_o inward_a affliction_n of_o conscience_n yet_o dare_v i_o not_o open_v the_o wound_n nor_o reveal_v my_o condition_n to_o any_o as_o think_v and_o judge_v my_o case_n to_o be_v like_o no_o body_n else_o but_o god_n who_o be_v rich_a in_o mercy_n and_o jesus_n christ_n who_o buy_v his_o people_n at_o so_o dear_a a_o rate_n will_v not_o suffer_v any_o of_o he_o to_o be_v lose_v and_o therefore_o he_o be_v gracious_o please_v to_o preserve_v strengthen_v and_o uphold_v i_o by_o his_o own_o power_n from_o sink_v into_o hell_n through_o despair_n and_o from_o run_v out_o of_o my_o wit_n thus_o by_o reason_n of_o my_o continual_a grief_n and_o anguish_n of_o heart_n night_n and_o day_n i_o be_v so_o weaken_v and_o change_v within_o the_o compass_n of_o six_o month_n that_o when_o i_o come_v home_o my_o dear_a parent_n scarce_o know_v i_o for_o some_o year_n after_o her_o return_n she_o for_o the_o most_o part_n continue_v in_o her_o father_n family_n where_o by_o a_o diligent_a and_o conscientious_a use_n of_o the_o the_o mean_n both_o public_a and_o private_a she_o do_v thrive_v and_o grow_v in_o grace_n and_o in_o the_o knowledge_n of_o our_o lord_n and_o saviour_n jesus_n christ_n as_o she_o increase_v in_o day_n and_o year_n till_o she_o be_v marry_v to_o mr._n samuel_n clark_n to_o who_o in_o all_o capacity_n she_o be_v a_o excellent_a wife_n after_o her_o death_n in_o a_o little_a book_n in_o her_o cabinet_n she_o give_v the_o former_a account_n of_o her_o conversion_n to_o god_n and_o add_v many_o more_o of_o her_o experience_n to_o this_o effect_n i_o here_o set_v down_o god_n gracious_a deal_n with_o i_o not_o for_o my_o own_o praise_n but_o for_o the_o glory_n of_o god_n and_o to_o stir_v up_o my_o heart_n unto_o true_a thankfulness_n for_o such_o unvaluable_a mercy_n and_o i_o have_v have_v many_o experience_n of_o god_n gracious_a deal_n with_o i_o at_o several_a time_n under_o affliction_n 1._o when_o personal_a affliction_n have_v lie_v upon_o i_o in_o respect_n of_o bodily_a sickness_n or_o spiritual_a distemper_n 2._o in_o family_n affliction_n when_o god_n have_v take_v away_o my_o childaen_n 3._o when_o i_o have_v be_v under_o fear_n that_o god_n will_v take_v away_o my_o deaâ—_n husband_n by_o some_o dangerous_a sickness_n which_o he_o
lie_v under_o 4._o when_o i_o have_v be_v under_o great_a fear_n in_o the_o time_n of_o our_o civil_a war_n 5._o when_o i_o have_v be_v under_o spiritual_a desertion_n by_o god_n hide_v his_o face_n and_o favour_n from_o i_o or_o by_o reason_n of_o weakness_n and_o want_v in_o grace_n or_o by_o reason_n of_o strong_a and_o prevail_a corruption_n or_o by_o reason_n of_o satan_n temptation_n in_o all_o these_o case_n i_o have_v experience_v god_n gracious_a dispensation_n towards_o i_o of_o which_o i_o shall_v set_v down_o a_o few_o it_o please_v god_n for_o many_o year_n to_o keep_v i_o for_o the_o most_o part_n in_o a_o sad_a and_o desolate_a estate_n and_o condition_n not_o clear_o evidence_v the_o certain_a assurance_n of_o his_o love_n to_o my_o soul_n so_o that_o many_o time_n i_o question_v whether_o i_o be_v a_o child_n of_o god_n or_o no_o whether_o i_o have_v part_n in_o jesus_n christ_n or_o no_o whether_o i_o shall_v ever_o attain_v to_o life_n and_o salvation_n or_o no_o and_o this_o make_v i_o walk_v with_o a_o droop_a and_o disconsolate_a spirit_n so_o that_o i_o can_v have_v no_o sure_a comfort_n in_o any_o thing_n but_o though_o heaviness_n endure_v for_o a_o night_n yet_o joy_n come_v in_o the_o morning_n when_o the_o lord_n cause_v the_o light_n of_o his_o countenance_n to_o shine_v upon_o i_o which_o be_v better_a than_o life_n it_o please_v god_n upon_o the_o death_n of_o my_o young_a child_n that_o it_o lay_v very_o heavy_a upon_o my_o spirit_n in_o so_o much_o that_o i_o be_v bring_v oft_o upon_o my_o knee_n to_o beg_v support_n from_o god_n and_o to_o crave_v his_o grace_n and_o assistance_n that_o i_o may_v not_o break_v out_o to_o speak_v or_o act_v any_o thing_n whereby_o god_n name_v may_v be_v dishonour_v or_o the_o gospel_n discredit_v and_o that_o he_o will_v be_v please_v to_o make_v up_o this_o outward_a loss_n with_o some_o more_o durable_a and_o spiritual_a good_a and_o the_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o return_v a_o gracious_a and_o speedy_a answer_n to_o these_o my_o request_n for_o though_o i_o lie_v long_o under_o the_o burden_n of_o that_o loss_n yet_o the_o lord_n in_o his_o due_a time_n do_v sweet_o manifest_v his_o special_a love_n to_o my_o soul_n assure_v i_o that_o he_o be_v my_o gracious_a and_o reconcile_a father_n in_o christ_n whereby_o my_o love_n to_o he_o be_v much_o increase_v and_o even_o inflame_v so_o that_o by_o his_o grace_n it_o wrought_v in_o i_o more_o diligence_n and_o carefulness_n to_o maintain_v and_o preserve_v these_o evidence_n of_o his_o love_n and_o to_o yield_v a_o lively_a submission_n unto_o his_o will_n as_o well_o in_o suffer_v as_o in_o do_v as_o also_o by_o avoid_v whatsoever_o may_v provoke_v he_o to_o withdraw_v the_o evidence_n of_o his_o love_n from_o i_o without_o the_o sense_n whereof_o i_o can_v take_v little_a or_o no_o comfort_n in_o any_o thing_n and_o furthermore_o i_o bless_v god_n for_o it_o and_o speak_v it_o to_o the_o praise_n and_o glory_n of_o his_o rich_a and_o free_a grace_n my_o prayer_n and_o earnest_a desire_n have_v be_v answer_v by_o god_n give_v i_o comfortable_a assurance_n both_o from_o the_o testimony_n of_o his_o holy_a word_n and_o the_o witness_n of_o his_o bless_a spirit_n of_o my_o eternal_a and_o everlasting_a salvation_n in_o and_o by_o jesus_n christ_n yet_o have_v i_o not_o be_v without_o fear_n and_o doubt_v many_o time_n through_o want_n of_o look_v over_o my_o evidence_n or_o by_o neglect_v to_o keep_v a_o narrow_a watch_n over_o my_o heart_n or_o from_o some_o weakness_n of_o my_o faith_n and_o all_o through_o my_o own_o default_n and_o negligence_n the_o lord_n pardon_v it_o and_o make_v i_o more_o circumspect_a for_o the_o time_n to_o come_v by_o all_o these_o i_o have_v gain_v this_o experience_n 1._o that_o god_n be_v true_a and_o faithful_a in_o make_v good_a all_o his_o promise_n seasonable_o unto_o we_o as_o that_o all_o thing_n shall_v work_v together_o for_o our_o good_a and_o that_o god_n will_v never_o leave_v we_o nor_o forsake_v we_o etc._n etc._n 2._o that_o it_o be_v not_o in_o vain_a to_o wait_v upon_o god_n and_o â—o_o seek_v unto_o he_o in_o our_o strait_n who_o be_v more_o ready_a to_o hear_v than_o we_o be_v to_o ask_v 3._o that_o i_o desire_v to_o see_v yea_o the_o lord_n have_v show_v i_o the_o vanity_n and_o uncertainty_n of_o the_o most_o satisfy_a comfort_n that_o this_o world_n can_v afford_v and_o what_o a_o emptiness_n there_o be_v in_o they_o that_o so_o i_o may_v and_o i_o desire_v so_o to_o do_v keep_v wean_v affection_n towards_o they_o and_o to_o sit_v loose_a from_o they_o that_o i_o may_v be_v ready_a to_o part_v with_o they_o when_o god_n call_v they_o from_o i_o or_o i_o from_o they_o again_o in_o regard_n of_o bodily_a weakness_n and_o sickness_n my_o experience_n have_v be_v these_o 1._o that_o as_o a_o break_a shoulder_n can_v bear_v no_o burden_n so_o the_o least_o distemper_n when_o the_o heart_n be_v not_o in_o a_o holy_a frame_n and_o temper_n be_v a_o burden_n insupportable_a if_o god_n hide_v his_o face_n from_o we_o and_o withdraw_v the_o evidence_n of_o his_o love_n and_o deny_v to_o assist_v we_o by_o his_o strength_n we_o can_v neither_o do_v nor_o suffer_v any_o thing_n and_o on_o the_o contrary_a i_o find_v by_o experience_n that_o i_o can_v with_o much_o cheerfulness_n holy_a submission_n and_o willingness_n bear_v great_a distemper_n when_o i_o enjoy_v the_o favour_n of_o god_n in_o they_o so_o that_o then_o i_o can_v ready_o say_v good_a be_v the_o work_n of_o the_o lord_n as_o well_o as_o his_o word_n and_o i_o will_v bear_v the_o indignation_n of_o the_o lord_n because_o i_o have_v sin_v against_o he_o micah_n 7.9_o and_o job_n 13.15_o though_o he_o slay_v i_o yet_o will_v i_o trust_v in_o he_o 2._o i_o find_v by_o experience_n also_o that_o by_o my_o pain_n and_o sickness_n i_o be_v the_o better_a able_a to_o sympathize_v with_o and_o to_o pity_n and_o pray_v for_o other_o in_o the_o like_a case_n 3._o hereby_o i_o learn_v the_o more_o to_o prize_v health_n and_o that_o upon_o several_a account_n namely_o because_o in_o health_n we_o have_v liberty_n and_o opportunity_n to_o enjoy_v the_o public_a ordinance_n with_o other_o of_o god_n people_n whereby_o the_o grace_n of_o true_a christian_n be_v quicken_v strengthen_v and_o increase_v in_o we_o which_o otherwise_o by_o reason_n of_o our_o corrupt_a nature_n be_v apt_a to_o grow_v cold_a and_o languish_v as_o will_v our_o body_n if_o they_o want_v food_n again_o because_o in_o health_n we_o enjoy_v the_o benefit_n and_o the_o comfort_n of_o sweet_a and_o quiet_a sleep_n which_o much_o refresh_v and_o cheer_v and_o which_o common_o we_o want_v in_o sickness_n last_o because_o in_o health_n we_o find_v sweet_a satisfy_v comfort_n in_o the_o use_n of_o god_n good_a creature_n whereas_o in_o sickness_n the_o dainty_a food_n be_v loathsome_a and_o troublesome_a the_o consideration_n of_o these_o thing_n make_v i_o the_o more_o to_o prize_v health_n to_o be_v very_o thankful_a for_o it_o and_o the_o more_o careful_a to_o employ_v and_o improve_v health_n and_o strength_n to_o god_n glory_n and_o the_o furtherance_n of_o my_o own_o salvation_n in_o regard_n of_o public_a danger_n i_o have_v have_v a_o great_a deal_n of_o experience_n of_o god_n goodness_n towards_o i_o and_o my_o several_a time_n for_o when_o in_o the_o begin_n of_o the_o civil_a war_n and_o distraction_n 1642._o i_o be_v sometime_o over_o whelm_v with_o weak_a and_o distrustful_a fear_n occasion_v by_o my_o not_o act_v faith_n upon_o the_o promise_n and_o not_o remember_v my_o former_a experience_n nor_o consider_v god_n love_n power_n and_o fidelity_n to_o his_o child_n in_o perform_v his_o so_o many_o gracious_a promise_n make_v unto_o they_o in_o all_o estate_n and_o condition_n and_o to_o i_o among_o the_o rest_n hereupon_o i_o resolve_v by_o god_n grace_n and_o assistance_n not_o to_o give_v way_n to_o this_o distrust_n and_o diffidence_n pray_v god_n to_o assist_v i_o therein_o and_o find_v more_o courage_n than_o former_o so_o far_o as_o i_o know_v my_o own_o heart_n though_o true_o the_o heart_n be_v very_o deceitful_a as_o i_o have_v find_v by_o sad_a experience_n the_o lord_n teach_v i_o and_o enable_v i_o to_o rely_v upon_o he_o with_o more_o courage_n and_o constancy_n and_o more_o to_o live_v by_o faith_n upon_o his_o promise_n than_o former_o i_o have_v do_v indeed_o i_o have_v be_v apt_a to_o fall_v into_o new_a fear_n upon_o approach_a danger_n yet_o upon_o success_n and_o glorious_a deliverance_n i_o have_v oft_o resolve_v never_o to_o distrust_v god_n again_o and_o yet_o my_o naughty_a heart_n have_v deceive_v i_o and_o make_v i_o ready_a to_o faint_v