but this I found by experlence to the praise of my God's Free Grace that as troubles have abounded my consolations have abounded much more For God brought seasonably into my mind many precious promises which were as so many sweet Cordials which much supported and comforted my heart and upheld my spirit when new storms have arisen and unexpected deliverances have followed And I have and do resolve by God's Grace not to distrust him any more Yer though more and greater dangers shall arise yet I will trust in him and stay my self upon him Though as Job said he should slay me The good Lord establish my heart in this good and holy resolution who is able to keep us to the end and hath promised that he will preserve us by his power through Faith to the Salvation of our Souls In regard of Satan's Temptations especially concerning my coming to the Sacrament of the Lord's Supper my Experience have been these Finding often that I was very unable to fit and prepare my self for a comfortable approach to that sacred Ordinance I used to desire the prayers of the Congregation unto God in my behalf and used the best endeavour I could in private as God enabled me though I came far short of what was required and of what I desired So that I did trust and hope through God's mercy to find a comfortable day of it and to have it a sealing Ordinance to my Soul But on the contrary I found much deadness and little spiritual tast relish and comfort in the use of it so that my spirit was oft much troubled and cast down in me fearing lest I had some secret sin undiscovered and unrepented of which caused the Lord thus to hide his face from me But then my gracious God brought this into my mind that the Lord doth sometimes afflict us for the exercise and improvement of our graces as well as to humble us for our sins I also considered that as the Lord doth tender great mercies to us in this Sacrament renewing his Covenant of Grace and sealing to us the pardon of our sins in the Blood of Christ so he gives us leave to ingage our selves by renewing our Covenant with him to believe in him and to trust upon Christ for Life and Salvation And it pleased God to give me Faith to apply this to my own particular Soul and a while after to shew me and to make good to my Soul that precious and comfortable promise That tho' he hides his face from us for a little moment yet with mercy and lâ—ving kindness he will return to us again This was a wonderful comfort and support to my dejected heart Blessed be the Lord for ever I desire to treasure up these Experiences that for the future I may in the like case resolve to put my whole trust and conâ—idence in him that so Satan may not intrap me in his snares through unbelief but that I may resist him stedfast in the Faith For I am not altogether ignorant of his devices God's promise is that in all these things we shall be more than Conquerors through him that hath loved us And hath said that This is the Victory whereby we overcome the World even our Faith 1 John 5.4 In the year 1664 there came to us the sad News of the death of my second Son Mr. John Clark a godly faithful and powerful Minister Thus as the waves of the Sea follow one another so God is pleased to exercise his Children with one affliction after another he sees whilst we carry about us this body of sin we have need of manifold Tryals and Temptations as saith the Apostle 1 Pet 1.6 Now for a season ye are in heaviness if need be through manifold temptations to keep us under and to make us the better to remember our selves Indeed it hath been the Lord's course and dealing with me ever since he stopped me in the way as I was posting to Hell to raise up one affliction or other either inward or outward either from Satan the World or my own corrupt heart and nature not having wisdom and grace to behave and carry my self as I ought under his various dispensations and providences as appeared at this time by his laying so great and grievous an affliction upon me in taking away so dear a Son from whom I had much Soul-comfort and ardent affections which he manifested by his fervent prayers for me and by his spiritual Letters and Writings to me wherein he applied himself suitably to my comfort in those inward troubles of heart and spirit that lay upon me This caused my grief and sorrows to take the greater hold on me upon the loss of one who was so useful to me Yet hereby I do not derogate from my Elder Son from whom I have the like help and comfort Upon this sad occasion my grief grew so great that I took no pleasure of any thing in the World but was so overwhelmed with melancholy and my natural strength was so abated that little food served my turn and I judged that I could not live long in such a condition Hereupon I began to examine my heart why it should be so with me and whether carnal and inordinate affections were not the great cause of my trouble which I much feared And having used many Arguments and laid down many Reasons to my self to quiet and moderate my passions yet nothing prevailed to quiet and calm my heart and to bow me to the obedience of Gods revealed Will And withal considering that it was God only that could quiet the heart and set our unruly and carnal affections into an holy frame and order and that he was a present help in time of trouble I often and earnestly sought the Lord with many Prayers and Tears beseeching him to quiet my heart and to over-power and tame my unruly affections so as to be willing to submit unto him and to bear his afflicting Hand patiently and fruitfully and to be ready and willing to submit either in doing or suffering whatsoever he pleased to impose upon me and to be ready to part with the best outward comfort I enjoyed whensoever he should please to call for the same And it pleased God seasonably to hear my Prayer to regard my Tears and to grant my Requests by calming and quieting my heart and spirit and to give me much more contentedness to submit to his holy Will and good Pleasure who is a God of Judgment and knows the fittest times and seasons to come in with refreshing comforts and who waits to be gracious unto those that trust in him Yet surely I was not without many temptations in this hour of darkness from that subtle Adversary who always stands at watch to insinuate and frame his temptations answerable to our conditions and like a roaring Lion walks about continually seeking to devour poor yet grecious Souls Then I called upon the Lord in my distress and he answered me and delivered me Bless
late Wars there till the entire Reduction thereof by the victorious Arms of K. Will. III. To which is presixed a relation of the Ancient Inhabitants the first Conquest of that Nation by K. Henry II. The horrid Robellion in 1641. the Popish and Arbitrary designs in the last Reigns Pr. 1s 10. THE History of the Principality of Wales in three parts Containing 1. A brief account of the antient Kings and Princes of Britain and Wales till the final extinguishing of the Royal British Line 2. Remarks upon the Lives of all the Princes of Wales of the Royal Families of England from K. Edward I. to this time particularly of Edward the black Prince of Wales who with 30000 English deseated an Army of 100000 French at Crossy and at Poictiers with 10000. beat 80000. and took John the French King Prisoner Also of Henry of Monmouth afterward H. Henry V. who with 13000 routed 90000 French whose Son Henry VI. was Crowned K. of France at Paris 3. 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With the Antiquities Monuments and Memorable Places mentioned in Scripture To which are prefixed Memorable Remarks on the Antient and modern State of the Jewish Nation As 1. A Description of the Holy Land its Situation Fertility c. 2 The several Captivities of the Jews 3. Probable Conjectures what is become of the Ten Tribes carried Captive by the Assyrians with divers pertinent Relations pursuant thereto 4. The State of the Jews since their extermination with the present condition of Palestine 5. Of the Septuagint or Seventy Jewish Interpreters of the Law of Moses Together with a Relation of the great Council of the Jews in Hungary in 1650. to examine the Scriptures concerning Christ Written By S. B. an Eye-witness Beautified with Pictures pr. 1s 16. 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are the Lords saying with Mary in Luke 1. My Soul doth magnifie the Lord and my Spirit doth rejoyce in God my Saviour who hath regarded the low estate of his handmaid 8. Though formerly my foundation was built upon the sands and therefore easily overthrown Yet now I trust in the Lord I am established by Faith built upon that Rock which is the love of God my Saviour Christ being the corner stone Isa 28.16 Behold I lay in Zion a stone a tryed stone he that believeth shall not make hast 9. I wait upon the Will of my Heavenly Father in all his dispensations for a more full injoyment of Jesus Christ in my Soul which I do hunger and thirst after and I have the promise of my God that I shall be filled and having tasted I have found the Lord is gracious and more to be desired than thousands of Worlds 10. I believe not upon others words but as in John 4.42 as some said to the Woman of Samaria Now we believe not because of thy saying for we have heard him our selves and know that this is indeed the Christ the Saviour of the World 11. As David saith I had fainted unless I had believed to see the goodness of the Lord and I believe therefore have I spoken for I was greatly afflicted As the Apostle saith ye are compleat in Christ therefore I reckon my self in him 12. The Lord having cleared it to me that I am a believer I am confident that Christ Jesus did pray to his Father for me in the 17. of John saying I pray not for these only but for them that shall believe through their word that they may be one even as we are one therefore thou art my God and I will praise thee for thou hast heard me and art become my salvation Thus in some measure I have weakly hinted out a reason of the hope that is in me trusting in my God that as he hath taken away the guilt of sin out of my conscience so in his due time he will take away all sin from my conversation as he hath given me a pardon for sin so he will over-power all my corruptions that I may live more to the praise of the glory of his grace wherein he hath made me accepted in the Beloved and that I shall become over sin Satan self and all things opposite to grace more than a Conqueror through him that hath loved me and washed me from my sins in his blood for to him are all things possible and he is the wise Master-Builder who will not only begin but will go on to accomplish his own work D. R. XXVIII Experiences of A. O. I Have undergone sad troubles of spirit for my sins which I have had a great sight and sense of and shed many tears for and desire to be truly sorry for them and hate them and to have no more communion with them About two years I lay under very great temptations and was ready to despair and for several nights could not take any rest in my bed but was very weak with weeping and much grieved for my evil thoughts yet the Lord drew forth my heart to call upon him and hope in him for mercy But I had many sore conflicts insomuch that I could not lye in the chamber alone I made what use I could of opportunities to desire comfort from such godly Christians as I could meet withal to counsel me in the ways of God and I laboured to hearken to them but found my heart very dull and heavy for a time untill about three years since I began to find comfort from some Sermons that I heard and books that I read and some thoughts that the Lord settled upon my heart by his spirit hoping that there was mercy for me And I did believe that I had all the prayers of all the Saints in the world put up to the Throne of grace for me and that my Saviour had satisfied for my sins and through him God was reconciled to me and in particular I found comfort from these and some other promises John 16.35 Jesus said unto them I am the bread of life he that cometh to me shall never hunger and he that believeth on me shall never thirst Verse 37. All that the Father giveth me shall come to me and him that cometh to me I will in no wise cast out John 14.1 Let not your hearts be troubled ye believe in God believe also in me Jerem. 31.23 But this shall he the Covenant that I will make with the house of Israel After those days saith the Lord I will put my Law in their inward parts and write it in their Hearts and I will be their God and they shall be my people And I do find in my heart a testimony of my believing that I do love God wrought in me by his blessed Spirit by these particulars 1. I love God not through slavish fear but for his name and glory so that I can leave all for him and nothing is so dear and precious unto me as the love of God and nothing so great a joy to me as that Christ who dyed for me hath not left me 2. I find such comfort from the Lord that he by his Spirit revives my drooping heart and fills my empty Soul and when my poor spirit is even fainting away I find comfort from his glorious power and presence 3. When I cannot come to Ordinances it is a grief to me and when I am in duty it is a grief to me that I am so dull and find no more inlargement yet my affections are groaning after the Lord Jesus Christ in Duties and I have a great longing to receive more of Christ And I find more comfort when my heart is inlarged in duty than in any other thing in the World and I know that all my comfort is from Jesus Christ 4. What I desire to injoy I seek to injoy it in God through peace of conscience that it may be to the comfort of my faith for God is pure and it is a great grief to me that I can serve my God no better 5. I do not fear death for my faith is so setled in God that I long to be with my Saviour when he shall be pleased to call me to him Christ hath dyed for me to take away the fear of the second death A. O. XXIX Experiences of M. W. I Have from my child-hood desired to serve the Lord and to make his Commandments my rule to walk by and I thought once that I could have said with the young man in the Gospel All these have I kept from my youth But it pleased the Lord to visit me with a grievous sickness even unto death and then my heart told me that I was a great sinner and my conscience accused me that I had loved the world more than I had loved Jesus Christ Then I was afflicted in my spirit with fear because I could not believe
not at that time take comfort in any thing and had I not been with child affected with natural inclination to the Babe in my womb I had been in danger had not God prevented me to have destroyed my self for I had some temptations that way but my God strengthened me yet before I was brought to bed I found peace and comfort and through grace had such settlement in my spirit that I could with joy night and day call upon my God believingly but before I attained to this I had many sore conflicts until after some considerations that the Lord had put into my mind as first touching the child that I went with because God hath said The just and innocent slay thou not and then considering the innocency of the child it became a means to stay my hand from laying violence upon my self Yet for a time I was much troubled in spirit till God gave me peace from these and other Scriptureâ— promises where the Lord saith Call upon me in the day of trouble and I will deliver thee thou shalt glorify me Psal 50.15 Sin shall not have dominion over you for ye are noâ— under the Law but under grace Rom. 6.14 Now the testimonies of my conversion and true believing in which I hope I have a seal of my Interest in the Lord Iesus are these 1. My love to God which is real sincere and hearty desiring him above any thing else whatsoever 2. My relying upon Jesus Christ having nothing of my own to rest upon I fly to him and rest oâ— him for all as my alone Saviour and Redeemer 3. I delight to read the holy Word of God and to hear or other wise to partake thereof in which I find much comfort 4. The comfort which I find by inlargement of my soul when God comes in under the means in dutys and the loathnesse I have to be deprived of the Ordinances 5. The Peace I find with my God in my soul which is sweet though not without much heaviness of spirit for my failings I do not live without waines and changes in my Spiritual life and faith towards the Lord for sometimes I trust God with all and at other times I meet with some donbtings yet blessed be God I find them more and more asswaged and my communion with Christ every day more sweet and full 6. I doubt not but the Lord Jesus Christ my Redeemer will so support me through his Grace that what ever my condition hath been or shall be here I shall not fail of salvation through Christ in heaven for ever L. P. XXXV Experiences of F. P. I Have been troubled at the thoughts of my corruptions and wretched condition I have formerly had some doubtings touchings the Scriptures whether they were truth or not but have been since troubled that I made those foolish doubtings to question Gods word and was so wounded in my Conscience for my sin therein that I feared I should be damned for it because I thought it was a sin that God would not pardon I had also strange thoughts about the sinful wayes of ungodly people and considering how loosely people live I and temptations to perswade me that surely there was some easier way to Heaven then the Scriptures had laid down or then I had learnt But for these evil thoughts of mine I have been so afflicted in my spirit that I thought I was a damned wretch I have been tempted by these blasphemous thoughts against the Lord which have so afflicted me that sometimes I feared the Devil would fetch me away and carry me to Hell and I have thought sometimes that surely God could not in justice pardon such sinnes as I have committed I have also been tempted to make away my self but the Lord God put me in mind to consider that it would not give me ease or comfort but be the way to enter into endless miseries And thus I lay afflicted with a most sad trouble some spirit for about a year yet though with little hope from my present sence I had desires that God would save me and some groanings I had after him And in his time which is best I began to find inlargement of heart from God and a great longing for Christ which encreased through the working of his glorious power so that me thought I could have been content to have gone through all the miseries in the World to have enjoyed him And in my sleep I dreamed that I saw my Saviour lying in a Grave and after again I saw him risen from death when I awaked and had some thoughts about my dream I found comfort in my soul and begun more sweetly to hope that Christ Jesus dyed for my sins and is risen again for my justification but the Devil who goes about like a roaring Lyon did still tempt me so that I was again ready to despair for my former evil thoughts and I was afraid that Satan would have me and I doubted that God had no part in me which caused me to weep much and I was exceedingly troubled and sometimes thought that verily I heard the Devil coming in a Whirlwind for me and so terrified was my conscience that from the thoughts of the wrath which I feared I could have wished my self a Beast a Dog or any thing because their misery would have an end But aftermany comfortable discourses with friends and reading some godly books that came to my hands the Lord God in time delivered me from those temptations and hath since comforted me with these Promises to the great joy of my heart though some times I have not been without some doubtings The Lord hath said Be content with such things as ye have for he hath said I will never leave thee nor forsake thee so that I may boldly say the Lord is my helper Heb. 13.5,6 The Lord saith sin shall not have dominion over you Rom. 6.14 This hath often given me much comfort and kept up my soul when I have been ready to despair And Christ saith I will pray the Father and he shall give you another comforter that he may abide with you for ever even the Spirit of truth John 14.16,17 And I have this testimony of my interest in Christ by faith wrought by his blessed Spirit in me 1 I see such a frailty in my flesh that except the Lord send his holy Spirit to inable me I cannot do any thing of my duty to God of my self it is the Spirit of the Lord and not any thing in me that is the foundation of my comfort 2. I have had many times if my heart deceive me not clear testimonies and evidences that I love God more than any thing else and desire him above all 3. I desire much to hear the Word and am troubled that sometimes it doth not so pierce into my heart as I desire 4. I have sometimes such sweet comforts and enlargements in my soul that I find much peace with God thereby which I
prize above all things in the world 5. I desire to serve the Lord in all things and am troubled when any thing obstructs those desires 6. I hope for salvation and true blessedness from Jesus Christ my Redeemer and from him alone â— P. XXXVI Experiences of D. C. I Have had great Conflicts of Soul for my sins and against sin and have shed many tears by night and by day I have been much troubled at the consideration of such things as have been at any time a clog to hinder me from enjoying spiritual Communion with God which I have desired It is the greatest grief I have ever had that I have offended so good a God and indeed my sins have been a very great trouble to me and especially in that God hath given me a measure of knowledge and I have not walked up to it to live according to the light I have received But I have found comfort in God's Promises Christ saith All that the Father giveth me shall come to me and him that cometh to me I will in no wise cast out John chap. 6. verse 37. Wherefore come out from among them and be ye separate saith the Lord and touch not the unclean thing and I will receive you and will be a Father unto you and ye shall be my Sons and Daughters saith the Lord Almighty The Lord will receive us if we repent and believe and Christ calls Come unto me all ye that labour and are heavy laden and I will give you rest Matth. 11.28 And as a testimony of my Regeneration I have these Experiences whereby to give account of the hope that is in me 1. That all my desires are chiefly to seek God in Christ 2. I find much comfort in duties to joyn in Ordinances and to partake of the things of God 3. I find my heart really at peace with all the World 4. I believe that the Lord God is at peace with me and will save me for ever through Jesus Christ D. C. Experiences of Mris. Katherine Clark HAving met with the Experiences of this Religious and worthy Gentlewoman in the account of her Life published by her pious Husband Mr. Samual Clark formerly Minister of St. Bennet Fink London which were found written in her own hand after her death and they being so very pertinent to the others aforementioned I thought it might be very useful to insert them without any alteration in her own words When I was but young my Father being at Prayer in his Family I many times found such sweetness and was so affected therewith that I could not but wish that my heart might be oftner in such a frame but Childhood and the Vanities thereof soon cooled these heavenly spariâ—s but my Father who was a Minister caused we to write Sermons and to repeat the same As also to learn Mr. Perkins Catechism which I oft repeated to my self when I was alone and therein I especially took notice of those places wherein he had set down the signs and marks of a strong and weak Faith being convinced in my Conscience that without Faith I could not be saved and that every Faith would not serve turn to bring me to Heaven Hereupon I fell to examination of my self and though I could not find the marks of a strong yet through God's Mercy I found the marks of a true tho' but wâ—… Faith which was some comfort and support to me And that God which began this good work in me was pleased to quicken and sâ—… me up to a diligent use of such means as himself hd ordained and appointed for the encrease thereof as hearing the Word Preaching private Duties c. But when I was about seventeen years old my Parents sent me to wait upon a young Gentlewoman in Northamptonshire the only Daughter of Sir W. W. At which time being sent so far from my near and dear Relations and meeting with some other discouragements in the Family thro' want of the Means of Grace which I formerly enjoyed I grew very melancholy I began also to have great workings of Conscience in me and Satan the deadly Enemy to the health and welfare of our Souls who like a roaring Lion walks about continually seeking whom he may devour took this advantage thro' my ignorance of his Devices to raise up fears doubts and terrours of Conscience in me by reason of my manifold sins and for walking so unworthy of God's Mercies whilst I did enjoy them and for being so unfruitful under the Means of Grace and so unable to obey God and keep his Commandments And by reason hereof I had no peace nor rest to my Soul night nor day but was perswaded that all the threatnings contained in the Book of God against wicked and ungodly men did belong to me and were my portion as being one of them against whom they were denounced Insomuch as when I took up the Bible to read therein it was accompanied with much fear and trembling yet being convinced that it was my duty frequently to read God's Word I durst not omit or neglect it Thus I continued a great while bearing the burden of grievous Temptations and inward afflictions of Conscience yet durst I not open the wound nor reveal my condition to any as thinking and judging my case to be like no bodies else But God who is rich in mercy and Jesus Christ who bought his people at so dear a rate would not suffer any of his to be lost and therefore he was graciously pleased to preserve strengthen and uphold me by his own power from sinking into Hell through despair and from running out of my Wits Thus by reason of my continual grief and anguish of heart night and day I was so weakened and changed within the compass of six months that when I came home my dear Parents scarce knew me For some years after her return she for the most part continued in her Fathers Family where by a diligent and consciencious use of the the Means both publick and private she did thrive and grow in grace and in the knowledge of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ as she increased in days and years Till she was married to Mr. Samuel Clark to whom in all capacities she was an excellent Wife After her death in a little Book in her Cabinet she gave the former account of her Conversion to God and added many more of her Experiences to this effect I here set down Gods gracious dealings with me not for my own praise but for the Glory of God and to stir up my heart unto true thankfulness for such unvaluable mercies And I have had many experiences of Gods gracious dealing with me at several times under afflictions 1. When Personal afflictions have lain upon me in respect of bodily sickness or Spiritual Distempers 2. In family afflictions when God hath taken away my childaen 3. When I have been under fears that God would take away my deaâ— husband by some dangerous sickness which he
lay under 4. When I have been under great fears in the time of our Civil Wars 5. When I have been under Spiritual Desertion by Gods hiding his face and favour from me or by reason of weakness and wants in grace Or by reason of strong and prevaling corruptions or by reason of Satans temptations In all these Cases I have experienced Gods gracious Dispensations toward me of which I shall set down a few It pleased God for many year to keep me for the most part in a sad and desolate Estate and condition not clearly evidencing the certain assurance of his love to my soul So that many times I questioned whether I was a Child of God or no whether I had part in Jesus Christ or no whether I should ever attain to life and salvation or no and this made me walk with a drooping and disconsolate Spirit so that I could have no sure comfort in any thing But tho' heavinesâ— endured for a night yet joy came in the morning when the Lord caused the light of his countenance to shine upon me which was better than life It pleased God upon the death of my youngest Child that it lay very heavy upon my Spirit in so much that I was brought oft upon my knees to beg support from God and to crave his grace and assistance that I might not break out to speak or act any thing whereby Gods name might be dishonoured or the Gospel discredited And that he would be pleased to make up this outward loss with some more durable and Spiritual good and the Lord was pleased to return a gracious and speedy answer to these my requests for though I lay long under the burden of that loss yet the Lord in his due time did sweetly manifest his special love to my soul assuring me that he was my gracious and reconciled Father in Christ whereby my love to him was much increased and even inflamed so that by his grace it wrought in me more diligence and carefulness to maintain and preserve these Evidences of his love and to yield a lively submission unto his will as well in suffering as in doing As also by avoiding whatsoever might provoke him to withdraw the evidences of his love from me without the sense whereof I could take little or no comfort in any thing And furthermore I bless God for it and speak it to the praise and glory of his rich and free grace my prayers and earnest desires have been answered by God's giving me comfortable assurance both from the testimony of his holy Word and the witness of his blessed Spirit of my eternal and everlasting Salvation in and by Jesus Christ Yet have I not been without fears and doubtings many times through want of looking over my Evidences or by neglecting to keep a narrow watch over my heart or from some weakness of my Faith and all through my own default and negligence the Lord pardon it and make me more circumspect for the time to come By all these I have gained this Experience 1. That God is true and faithful in making good all his promises seasonably unto us As that All things shall work together for our good and that God will never leave us nor forsake us c. 2. That it is not in vain to wait upon God and â—o seek unto him in our straits who is more ready to hear than we are to ask 3. That I desire to see yea the Lord hath shewed me the vanity and uncertainty of the most satisfying comforts that this World can afford and what an emptiness there is in them that so I may and I desire so to do keep weaned affections toward them and to sit loose from them that I may be ready to part with them when God calls them from me or me from them Again in regard of bodily weekness and sickness my Experiences have been these 1. That as a broken shoulder can bear no burden so the least distemper when the heart is not in a holy frame and temper is a burden insupportable If God hides his face from us and withdraws the evidences of his love and denies to assist us by his strength we can neither do nor suffer any thing And on the contrary I found by experience that I could with much chearfulness holy submission and willingness bear great distempers when I enjoyed the favour of God in them So that then I could readily say Good is the Work of the Lord as well as his Word And I will bear the Indignation of the Lord because I have sinned against him Micah 7.9 And Job 13.15 Though he slay me yet will I trust in him 2. I found by experience also that by my pains and sickness I was the better able to sympathize with and to pity and pray for others in the like case 3. Hereby I learn'd the more to prize health and that upon several accounts namely because in health we have liberty and opportunity to enjoy the Publick Ordinances with others of God's People whereby the Graces of true Christians are quickened strengthened and increased in us which otherwise by reason of our corrupt Natures are apt to grow cold and languish as will our bodies if they want food Again because in health we enjoy the benefit and the comfort of sweet and quiet sleep which much refreshes and cheers and which commonly we want in sickness Lastly Because in health we find sweet satisfying comfort in the use of God's good Creatures whereas in sickness the daintiest food is loathsom and troublesom The consideration of these things made me the more to prize health to be very thankful for it and the more careful to imploy and improve health and strength to God's glory and the furtherance of my own Salvation In regard of publick dangers I have had a great deal of experience of God's goodness toward me and mine several times For when in the begining of the Civil Wars and Distractions 1642. I was sometimes over whelmed with weak and distrustful fears occasioned by my not acting Faith upon the Promises and not remembring my former Experiences nor considering God's love power and fidelity to his Children in performing his so many gracious promises made unto them in all estates and conditions and to me among the rest Hereupon I resolved by God's grace and assistance not to give way to this distrust and diffidence praying God to assist me therein and found more courage than formerly so far as I knew my own heart though truly the heart is very deceitful as I have found by sad experience the Lord teach me and inable me to rely upon him with more courage and constancy and more to live by Faith upon his promises than formerly I have done Indeed I have been apt to fall into new fears upon approaching dangers yet upon successes and glorious deliverances I have oft resolved never to distrust God again and yet my naughty heart hath deceived me and made me ready to faint