salvation_n john_n howe_n mr._n corbet_n enquiry_n into_o the_o state_n of_o his_o soul_n his_o introduction_n in_o order_n to_o peace_n of_o conscience_n and_o assurance_n of_o my_o good_a estate_n towards_o god_n it_o must_v in_o reason_n be_v suppose_v that_o i_o may_v right_o understand_v the_o mark_n of_o sincerity_n set_v down_o in_o god_n word_n as_o also_o the_o predominant_a inclination_n and_o motion_n of_o my_o own_o soul_n and_o that_o i_o may_v be_v so_o far_o assure_v of_o my_o right_a understanding_n of_o the_o thing_n aforesaid_a as_o to_o have_v no_o reasonable_a ground_n of_o doubt_v thereof_o for_o i_o have_v no_o other_o ordinary_a way_n to_o know_v my_o sincerity_n in_o order_n to_o the_o say_a peace_n and_o assurance_n but_o to_o examine_v it_o according_a to_o my_o best_a understanding_n by_o the_o mark_n thereof_o set_v down_o in_o god_n word_n in_o this_o self-examination_n it_o be_v requisite_a that_o i_o use_v all_o diligence_n and_o impartiality_n with_o constancy_n and_o that_o i_o earnest_o pray_v for_o god_n assistance_n in_o it_o and_o hearty_o offer_v myself_o to_o his_o search_n as_o david_n do_v psal._n 139._o 23._o wherefore_o if_o upon_o the_o most_o impartial_a and_o diligent_a search_n that_o i_o can_v make_v according_a to_o the_o best_a of_o my_o understanding_n together_o with_o earnest_n and_o constant_a prayer_n to_o god_n to_o assist_v i_o therein_o as_o in_o my_o great_a concern_n it_o do_v most_o rational_o appear_v to_o i_o that_o the_o predominant_a inclination_n and_o motion_n of_o my_o soul_n be_v agreeable_a to_o the_o mark_n of_o sincerity_n set_v down_o in_o god_n word_n than_o my_o conscience_n do_v its_o office_n aright_o be_v to_o judge_v for_o i_o according_o viz._n that_o i_o be_o sincere_a and_o in_o this_o judgement_n i_o be_o to_o acquiesce_v because_o it_o be_v the_o judgement_n of_o god_n agent_n and_o minister_n which_o he_o have_v set_v up_o within_o i_o to_o judge_v under_o he_o of_o my_o internal_a state_n according_a to_o his_o law_n by_o which_o he_o himself_o do_v and_o will_v judge_v i_o god_n have_v the_o same_o aspect_n upon_o the_o soul_n which_o conscience_n his_o vicegerent_n have_v as_o it_o from_o time_n to_o time_n or_o ordinary_o judge_v not_o against_o he_o or_o without_o he_o but_o under_o he_o and_o according_a to_o his_o judgement_n either_o acquit_v or_o condemn_v to_o this_o purpose_n the_o apostle_n speak_v 1_o john_n 3._o 20_o 21._o if_o our_o heart_n condemn_v we_o god_n be_v great_a than_o our_o heart_n and_o know_v all_o thing_n if_o our_o heart_n condemn_v we_o not_o then_o have_v we_o confidence_n towards_o god_n the_o state_n of_o my_o own_o soul_n according_a to_o the_o strict_a search_n that_o i_o can_v make_v psal._n 139._o 23_o 24._o search_v i_o o_o lord_n and_o know_v my_o heart_n try_v i_o and_o know_v my_o thought_n and_o see_v if_o there_o be_v any_o wicked_a way_n in_o i_o and_o lead_v i_o in_o the_o way_n everlasting_a amen_n the_o follow_a particular_n be_v set_v down_o in_o decemb._n jan._n feb._n an._n 1663._o as_o far_o as_o i_o be_o able_a to_o discern_v my_o heart_n and_o way_n i_o have_v choose_v the_o lord_n for_o my_o portion_n i_o take_v up_o my_o rest_n in_o he_o and_o not_o in_o the_o creature_n to_o love_v and_o fear_n and_o admire_v and_o bless_v he_o and_o to_o have_v communion_n with_o he_o be_v my_o chief_a joy_n and_o the_o eternal_a vision_n and_o fruition_n of_o god_n be_v my_o great_a hope_n i_o will_v not_o only_o have_v god_n hereafter_o but_o here_o in_o this_o world_n for_o my_o chief_a good_a he_o be_v even_o now_o better_o than_o all_o the_o world_n i_o come_v to_o god_n by_o jesus_n christ._n and_o as_o i_o believe_v in_o god_n i_o believe_v also_o in_o christ_n and_o rejoice_v and_o glory_n in_o he_o and_o acknowledge_v my_o own_o sinfulness_n and_o unworthiness_n i_o rest_v entire_o on_o he_o as_o the_o ground_n of_o my_o justification_n to_o life_n and_o of_o all_o favour_n and_o acceptance_n with_o god_n i_o receive_v christ_n as_o my_o lord_n and_o give_v up_o myself_o to_o he_o i_o let_v he_o into_o my_o heart_n by_o faith_n i_o esteem_v he_o precious_a and_o be_o willing_a to_o suffer_v the_o loss_n of_o all_o that_o i_o may_v win_v he_o i_o desire_v to_o know_v he_o in_o the_o power_n of_o his_o death_n and_o resurrection_n and_o be_o much_o grieve_v that_o i_o do_v so_o weak_o experience_n that_o power_n and_o feel_v it_o no_o more_o operative_a in_o i_o in_o my_o die_n to_o sin_n and_o 〈◊〉_d world_n and_o in_o live_v and_o walk_v in_o the_o spirit_n i_o do_v not_o cease_v to_o lament_v the_o more_o heinous_a sin_n of_o my_o life_n and_o can_v forbear_v the_o continual_a implore_v of_o the_o pardon_n of_o they_o i_o do_v not_o return_v again_o to_o they_o and_o i_o resolve_v never_o so_o to_o do_v i_o watch_v and_o pray_v and_o strive_v against_o all_o sin_n but_o especial_o against_o those_o sin_n to_o which_o i_o be_o more_o especial_o incline_v my_o conflict_n be_v daily_o and_o be_o put_v hard_o to_o it_o but_o i_o do_v not_o yield_v up_o myself_o to_o any_o sin_n nor_o lie_v down_o in_o it_o yea_o i_o do_v not_o suffer_v sinful_a cogitation_n to_o lodge_v in_o i_o howbeit_o i_o be_o many_o time_n much_o discompose_v damp_a in_o spirit_n deadn_v in_o duty_n distract_v in_o my_o study_n and_o molest_v and_o hinder_v every_o way_n by_o the_o sin_n that_o dwell_v in_o i_o but_o i_o resolve_v that_o sin_n shall_v have_v no_o rest_n in_o my_o soul_n and_o that_o i_o will_v never_o enjoy_v it_o though_o i_o can_v keep_v sin_n out_o of_o my_o heart_n yet_o it_o do_v not_o reign_v in_o my_o mortal_a body_n nor_o do_v i_o yield_v my_o member_n to_o the_o service_n of_o it_o i_o will_v fulfil_v all_o righteousness_n and_o owe_v nothing_o to_o any_o man_n but_o love_n i_o have_v a_o hundred_o sold_n rather_o suffer_v wrong_a than_o do_v wrong_n it_o be_v say_v of_o christ_n that_o no_o guile_n be_v find_v in_o his_o mouth_n and_o of_o the_o faithful_a company_n that_o follow_v the_o lamb_n that_o no_o guile_n be_v find_v in_o their_o mouth_n and_o that_o it_o may_v be_v so_o with_o i_o i_o endeavour_v with_o my_o whole_a heart_n i_o trust_v god_n with_o my_o chief_a outward_a concernment_n even_o with_o that_o about_o which_o i_o be_o most_o solicitous_a and_o wherein_o to_o be_v satisfy_v be_v of_o great_a moment_n to_o i_o for_o that_o it_o have_v as_o great_a a_o influence_n upon_o my_o spirit_n as_o any_o outward_a thing_n have_v and_o i_o do_v believe_v that_o god_n will_v provide_v for_o i_o herein_o or_o otherwise_o supply_v the_o want_n of_o it_o my_o earnest_a desire_n of_o god_n be_v that_o my_o outward_a condition_n may_v be_v so_o state_v by_o his_o wife_n and_o gracious_a providence_n as_o i_o may_v be_v least_o expose_v to_o temptation_n and_o best_a dispose_v and_o further_v unto_o duty_n i_o have_v a_o inclination_n to_o seek_v self_n particular_o in_o vain_a applause_n and_o that_o in_o religious_a service_n and_o herein_o i_o have_v be_v high_o guilty_a but_o i_o shame_v myself_o for_o it_o before_o god_n and_o i_o be_o willing_a to_o be_v satisfy_v in_o the_o praise_n that_o come_v from_o he_o alone_o and_o i_o trust_v through_o his_o grace_n that_o i_o can_v deny_v myself_o in_o matter_n of_o reputation_n to_o do_v his_o will._n i_o love_v the_o lord_n jesus_n christ_n and_o all_o his_o saint_n the_o break_a estate_n of_o the_o church_n especial_o by_o intestine_a evil_n be_v a_o great_a trouble_n to_o my_o spirit_n the_o scandal_n of_o professor_n i_o be_o true_o grieve_v at_o and_o i_o will_v not_o by_o their_o weakness_n seek_v to_o excuse_v my_o own_o fault_n or_o a_o advance_n of_o my_o own_o virtue_n i_o have_v no_o settle_a bitterness_n and_o revenge_n against_o my_o enemy_n but_o i_o love_v pity_n and_o pray_v for_o they_o as_o concern_v god_n enemy_n i_o be_o more_o provoke_v but_o i_o will_v not_o be_v inhuman_a or_o cruel_a against_o they_o for_o the_o wrath_n of_o man_n work_v not_o the_o righteousness_n of_o god_n i_o contemn_v none_o i_o will_v not_o embitter_v the_o spirit_n of_o any_o i_o will_v answer_v all_o obligation_n of_o courtesy_n as_o account_v it_o a_o righteousness_n i_o will_v not_o insult_v over_o the_o weakness_n of_o any_o and_o this_o be_v partly_o out_o of_o natural_a tenderness_n and_o moral_a consideration_n and_o i_o find_v that_o the_o goodness_n and_o kindness_n of_o god_n the_o meekness_n gentleness_n of_o christ_n have_v here_o unto_o make_v impression_n upon_o i_o i_o find_v upon_o the_o review_n of_o my_o life_n past_o according_a to_o the_o clear_a judgement_n that_o i_o can_v make_v that_o i_o have_v not_o go_v
grace_n i_o will_v not_o doubt_v of_o a_o good_a issue_n while_o i_o be_o find_v in_o the_o way_n of_o duty_n to_o they_o who_o by_o patient_a continuance_n in_o welldoing_a seek_v for_o glory_n and_o honour_n and_o immortality_n god_n who_o can_v lie_v have_v promise_v to_o give_v eternal_a life_n i_o be_o desirous_a to_o be_v deliver_v from_o this_o affliction_n if_o it_o be_v the_o will_n of_o the_o lord_n upon_o this_o account_n that_o i_o may_v have_v a_o more_o notable_a proof_n of_o my_o free_a choose_v of_o god_n for_o my_o portion_n when_o i_o be_o not_o thus_o drive_v to_o he_o as_o now_o because_o i_o can_v go_v no_o where_o else_o for_o comfort_n also_o of_o my_o free_a turn_v from_o the_o world_n even_o then_o when_o i_o be_o capable_a of_o enjoy_v it_o to_o have_v such_o a_o proof_n of_o these_o thing_n in_o myself_o i_o shall_v take_v for_o a_o great_a advantage_n and_o be_v great_o thankful_a nevertheless_o for_o the_o quiet_v of_o my_o mind_n i_o consider_v that_o my_o present_a afflict_a state_n do_v better_a secure_v i_o from_o temptation_n which_o may_v draw_v my_o heart_n from_o god_n to_o the_o love_n of_o the_o world_n in_o which_o respect_n prosperity_n be_v far_o more_o dangerous_a than_o adversity_n moreover_o my_o present_a state_n give_v i_o advantage_n for_o a_o high_a proof_n of_o the_o grace_n that_o be_v in_o i_o and_o of_o the_o power_n of_o divine_a aid_n uphold_v i_o in_o a_o life_n of_o faith_n and_o patience_n by_o which_o i_o live_v upon_o god_n alone_o when_o worldly_a comfort_n fail_v i_o and_o by_o which_o i_o be_o enable_v to_o overcome_v thing_n grievous_a to_o nature_n and_o to_o get_v above_o not_o only_o the_o pleasure_n but_o the_o sharp_a pain_n of_o sense_n and_o to_o live_v and_o endure_v with_o little_a natural_a or_o bodily_a rest._n also_o it_o give_v i_o the_o advantage_n of_o exercise_v a_o resolve_v willing_a self-resignation_n to_o god_n in_o this_o dispensation_n which_o be_v harsh_a to_o flesh_n and_o blood_n and_o a_o rest_v in_o hope_n when_o there_o be_v no_o present_a appearance_n of_o help_n and_o a_o wait_a and_o look_v for_o the_o lord_n who_o hide_v his_o face_n and_o a_o cleave_v to_o he_o by_o constant_a love_n though_o he_o do_v fore_o bruise_v i_o if_o i_o continue_v in_o the_o exercise_n of_o these_o grace_n they_o will_v give_v i_o a_o good_a proof_n that_o the_o heavenly_a nature_n be_v in_o i_o and_o will_v make_v way_n for_o great_a assurance_n towards_o god_n and_o full_a consolation_n in_o christ_n jesus_n and_o yet_o further_o i_o trust_v that_o i_o have_v long_o before_o this_o distress_n choose_v god_n for_o my_o portion_n and_o draw_v off_o my_o heart_n from_o the_o flatter_a vanity_n of_o this_o world_n and_o i_o know_v that_o in_o this_o distress_n i_o do_v not_o come_v to_o he_o constrain_o or_o mere_o as_o drive_v for_o i_o delight_v to_o draw_v nigh_o to_o he_o to_o pour_v out_o my_o heart_n before_o he_o in_o prayer_n and_o meditation_n my_o meditation_n of_o he_o be_v sweet_a to_o my_o soul_n and_o i_o do_v not_o love_n to_o be_v divert_v from_o it_o and_o when_o my_o distemper_n be_v any_o whit_n more_o easy_a it_o work_v unto_o a_o rejoice_v in_o he_o and_o it_o be_v for_o enlargement_n of_o heart_n towards_o he_o that_o i_o chief_o desire_v bodily_a ease_n and_o rest._n hear_v my_o cry_n o_o god_n attend_v unto_o my_o prayer_n i_o will_v cry_v unto_o thou_o when_o my_o heart_n be_v overwhelm_v lead_v i_o to_o the_o rock_n that_o be_v high_a than_o i_o god_n the_o infinite_a goodness_n and_o love_n will_v not_o cast_v off_o a_o poor_a soul_n that_o lie_v at_o his_o foot_n and_o cry_n for_o the_o help_n of_o his_o grace_n when_o it_o be_v ready_a to_o sink_v under_o the_o burden_n and_o be_v willing_a to_o have_v mercy_n upon_o his_o term_n therefore_o i_o will_v still_o cry_v to_o he_o and_o look_v for_o he_o and_o lean_a upon_o he_o &_o will_v not_o depart_v from_o he_o by_o a_o evil_a heart_n of_o unbelief_n this_o i_o resolve_v in_o his_o strength_n lord_n strengthen_v i_o unto_o the_o perfect_a work_n of_o patience_n lord_n i_o hearty_o consent_v that_o thou_o shall_v use_v i_o as_o thou_o please_v so_o thou_o use_v i_o as_o one_o of_o those_o that_o love_v thy_o name_n disposal_n be_v a_o effect_n of_o propriety_n but_o it_o be_v always_o a_o regular_a and_o a_o love_a disposal_n of_o the_o subject_n of_o his_o government_n o_o deal_v favourable_o with_o thy_o servant_n thou_o know_v my_o frame_n remember_v that_o i_o be_o but_o dust._n the_o lord_n will_v perfect_a that_o which_o concern_v i_o thy_o mercy_n o_o lord_n endure_v for_o ever_o forsake_v not_o the_o work_v of_o thy_o own_o hand_n o_o lord_n without_o thou_o i_o can_v do_v nothing_o therefore_o i_o must_v beg_v and_o thou_o will_v give_v grace_n sufficient_a without_o which_o i_o can_v subsist_v for_o therein_o be_v the_o life_n of_o my_o spirit_n for_o ever_o o_o lord_n thy_o word_n be_v settle_v in_o heaven_n pity_v i_o o_o lord_n as_o a_o father_n pitty_v his_o child_n comfort_v i_o o_o lord_n as_o one_o who_o his_o mother_n comfort_v the_o lord_n will_v wait_v that_o he_o may_v be_v gracious_a unto_o you_o for_o the_o lord_n be_v a_o god_n of_o judgement_n bless_v be_v all_o they_o that_o wait_v for_o he_o can_v i_o be_v in_o a_o better_a hand_n as_o my_o profess_a judgement_n be_v concern_v god_n proceed_v so_o let_v i_o stand_v affect_v towards_o it_o note_n for_o myself_o keep_v thy_o heart_n with_o all_o diligence_n for_o out_o of_o it_o be_v the_o issue_n of_o life_n death_n and_o life_n be_v in_o the_o power_n of_o the_o tongue_n entertain_v not_o a_o sensual_a imagination_n for_o a_o moment_n and_o give_v not_o way_n to_o the_o least_o glance_n of_o the_o eye_n towards_o vanity_n be_v always_o expect_v some_o trouble_n or_o other_o to_o interrupt_v thy_o outward_a peace_n and_o rest._n never_o expect_v any_o thing_n from_o the_o world_n and_o when_o it_o offer_v thou_o any_o thing_n that_o be_v good_a for_o thou_o receive_v it_o but_o catch_v not_o at_o it_o greedy_o be_v always_o mindful_a what_o thou_o may_v do_v for_o thy_o own_o and_o other_o salvation_n in_o every_o instant_a upon_o every_o occasion_n dye_v daily_o in_o argue_v with_o another_o watch_v against_o every_o inordinate_a heat_n of_o passion_n loud_o speak_v and_o every_o rash_a word_n if_o any_o neglect_n or_o slight_v thou_o care_v not_o for_o it_o yet_o observe_v it_o any_o matter_n of_o trial_n to_o thou_o reckon_v among_o thy_o gain_n take_v no_o delight_n of_o sense_n but_o in_o a_o manifest_a and_o direct_a subserviency_n to_o spiritual_a end_n and_o use_v not_o that_o delight_n to_o irritate_fw-la but_o to_o allay_v sensuality_n when_o a_o sensual_a imagination_n or_o passion_n break_v in_o then_o excite_v a_o taste_n of_o the_o power_n of_o the_o world_n to_o come_v and_o delay_v not_o to_o recover_v the_o divine_a frame_n what_o thou_o doubte_v do_v not_o in_o thy_o action_n consider_v not_o only_o what_o be_v lawful_a but_o what_o be_v best_a in_o the_o present_a circumstance_n and_o do_v that_o in_o every_o delight_n of_o sense_n watch_v against_o all_o brutishness_n when_o thou_o be_v in_o company_n where_o the_o talk_n be_v but_o vain_a watch_v to_o put_v in_o a_o word_n that_o may_v be_v to_o edification_n if_o any_o despise_v thou_o do_v not_o bear_v a_o grudge_n against_o he_o for_o it_o and_o be_v not_o offend_v with_o any_o mere_o because_o they_o do_v not_o honour_v thou_o when_o thou_o be_v frame_v excuse_n take_v heed_n of_o speak_v a_o untruth_n or_o approach_v near_o to_o it_o lest_o in_o avoid_v the_o offence_n of_o man_n thou_o make_v too_o bold_a with_o god_n take_v heed_n of_o this_o also_o when_o thou_o will_v speak_v pleas_o and_o avoid_v offence_n in_o speak_v use_v no_o recreation_n or_o delight_n of_o sense_n but_o what_o thou_o can_v at_o that_o very_a time_n desire_v of_o god_n that_o it_o may_v be_v sanctify_v to_o spiritual_a ends._n when_o thou_o hear_v that_o another_o have_v speak_v any_o thing_n to_o thy_o injury_n or_o disparagement_n beware_v of_o a_o transport_v of_o anger_n that_o thou_o speak_v not_o harsh_o or_o unadvised_o against_o he_o or_o too_o passionate_o for_o self_n or_o as_o too_o much_o concern_v for_o self_n uphold_v the_o reputation_n of_o thy_o colleague_n or_o any_o that_o be_v join_v with_o thou_o in_o service_n as_o thou_o will_v thy_o own_o watch_v against_o all_o secret_a pleasure_n in_o the_o lessen_v of_o another_o for_o advance_v thyself_o pray_v hearty_o for_o the_o success_n of_o thy_o colleague_n and_o other_o who_o perform_v the_o same_o service_n that_o thou_o be_v engage_v in_o and_o rejoice_v in_o
do_v not_o value_v man_n according_a to_o their_o esteem_n of_o thou_o but_o according_a to_o their_o true_a worth_n watch_v against_o the_o expectation_n of_o hear_v thy_o own_o praise_n and_o when_o such_o a_o thought_n arise_v instant_o suppress_v it_o when_o thou_o be_v commend_v let_v not_o thy_o thought_n dwell_v on_o it_o with_o delight_n but_o let_v it_o be_v to_o thou_o as_o nothing_o take_v heed_n of_o too_o great_a a_o valuation_n of_o thy_o own_o work_n or_o usefulness_n in_o thy_o place_n and_o lay_v not_o too_o great_a a_o stress_n thereon_o when_o friend_n out_o of_o love_n overvalue_v thou_o it_o concern_v thou_o not_o to_o overvalue_v thyself_o nor_o to_o take_v more_o than_o thy_o due_n though_o they_o give_v it_o have_v a_o habit_n of_o compassion_n towards_o the_o afflict_a firm_o fix_v in_o thou_o that_o the_o motion_n thereof_o may_v be_v suitable_o stir_v up_o on_o every_o occasion_n let_v a_o abhorrence_n of_o any_o content_a in_o another_o suffering_n be_v deep_o imprint_v on_o thou_o that_o every_o think_v thereof_o may_v be_v prevent_v or_o instant_o suppress_v yea_o hate_v all_o disregard_n to_o another_o misery_n watch_v against_o all_o eagerness_n and_o immoderate_a delight_n in_o eat_v and_o drink_v and_o against_o mind_v any_o kind_n of_o food_n for_o the_o please_a of_o the_o sense_n come_v to_o thy_o meal_n not_o like_o a_o bruit_n but_o as_o become_v a_o saint_n never_o terminate_v in_o the_o sensitive_a pleasure_n but_o make_v use_n of_o it_o to_o raise_v thy_o heart_n to_o god_n when_o thou_o have_v eat_v so_o much_o so_o that_o thou_o think_v more_o be_v not_o expedient_a or_o be_v better_o forbear_v than_o take_v proceed_v not_o to_o a_o bit_n more_o lest_o thou_o be_v entangle_v or_o disturb_v still_o consider_v be_v this_o act_n i_o go_v about_o agreeable_a to_o one_o that_o have_v communion_n with_o god_n will_v this_o act_n promote_v communion_n with_o god_n do_v i_o come_v to_o this_o act_n so_o as_o to_o have_v communion_n with_o god_n thereby_o promote_v seek_v the_o lawful_a contentment_n of_o any_o that_o be_v about_o thou_o as_o thou_o do_v thy_o own_o and_o be_v as_o glad_a to_o gratify_v they_o as_o thyself_o so_o far_o as_o it_o be_v convenient_a for_o they_o hate_n and_o shun_v all_o motion_n of_o unworthy_a selfishness_n and_o see_v that_o other_o be_v sharer_n with_o thou_o in_o thy_o pleasant_a thing_n and_o be_v not_o content_a to_o have_v they_o to_o thyself_o alone_o be_v not_o over_o solicitous_a for_o humour_v thyself_o in_o sensitive_a suavity_n but_o rather_o suspicious_a of_o it_o and_o be_v abstemious_a from_o it_o always_o mind_n and_o do_v the_o present_a duty_n comply_v with_o the_o present_a dispensation_n and_o make_v the_o most_o of_o it_o thy_o business_n be_v to_o please_v god_n and_o god_n will_v provide_v for_o thy_o comfort_n lay_v thy_o heart_n to_o rest_n in_o the_o will_n of_o god_n for_o there_o be_v no_o other_o rest_n for_o the_o soul_n to_o be_v think_v on_o i_o will_v not_o indent_v with_o god_n for_o any_o good_a but_o what_o be_v include_v in_o the_o covenant_n of_o grace_n i_o will_v expect_v no_o good_a but_o according_a to_o the_o tenor_n of_o that_o covenant_n which_o be_v all_o my_o salvation_n and_o all_o my_o desire_n i_o be_o resolve_v that_o pride_n shall_v not_o set_v i_o to_o study_v or_o preach_v or_o pray_v or_o carry_v i_o on_o in_o any_o service_n if_o thought_n of_o men-pleasing_a or_o man_n applause_n steal_v in_o with_o my_o honest_a intention_n i_o will_v instant_o cast_v they_o out_o as_o soon_o as_o they_o be_v discover_v and_o i_o will_v watch_n and_o pray_v for_o the_o prevent_n of_o they_o i_o will_v watch_v when_o i_o go_v forth_o in_o my_o service_n for_o god_n that_o pride_n do_v not_o send_v i_o forth_o man_n opinion_n of_o i_o shall_v be_v nothing_o with_o i_o but_o the_o please_a of_o god_n and_o the_o do_v of_o good_a shall_v be_v my_o whole_a scope_n in_o perform_v prayer_n i_o be_o intent_n upon_o god_n and_o his_o hear_v and_o observe_v my_o thought_n and_o word_n and_o i_o earnest_o purpose_n and_o strive_v against_o thought_n about_o man_n observe_v and_o judge_v of_o my_o performance_n nevertheless_o i_o do_v find_v that_o together_o with_o my_o sincere_a and_o earnest_a intention_n direct_v to_o god_n thought_n of_o regard_n to_o man_n esteem_n and_o judge_v will_v too_o often_o thrust_v in_o do_v what_o i_o can_v so_o as_o either_o to_o be_v please_v or_o trouble_v as_o i_o think_v they_o judge_v these_o thought_n have_v great_o trouble_v my_o spirit_n hereupon_o i_o consider_v that_o a_o due_a regard_n to_o expression_n for_o man_n sake_n that_o they_o be_v affect_v and_o not_o offensive_a be_v not_o faulty_a but_o necessary_a and_o therefore_o must_v be_v heed_v and_o i_o think_v that_o my_o thought_n above_o man_n judge_a have_v this_o intention_n at_o last_o chief_o that_o my_o expression_n be_v affect_v and_o not_o offensive_a yet_o i_o be_o jealous_a of_o the_o mixture_n of_o corruption_n and_o vanity_n i_o earnest_o endeavour_v to_o have_v my_o heart_n so_o fill_v with_o the_o apprehension_n of_o god_n infinite_a majesty_n and_o my_o infinite_a concernment_n in_o he_o that_o all_o impertinent_a thought_n may_v be_v quite_o swallow_v up_o all_o design_v and_o endeavour_v to_o please_v man_n for_o my_o own_o praise_n i_o do_v at_o that_o very_a time_n detest_v and_o abandon_v yea_o at_o that_o very_a time_n i_o be_o sure_a i_o do_v very_o little_a regard_n either_o the_o approbation_n and_o praise_n or_o the_o disallowance_n and_o dispraise_n of_o those_o very_a person_n about_o who_o my_o thought_n be_v apt_a to_o run_v out_o as_o aforesaid_a i_o do_v my_o uttermost_a to_o prevent_v restrain_v and_o suppress_v all_o such_o thought_n they_o be_v a_o burden_n to_o i_o there_o be_v scarce_o any_o thing_n that_o stir_v within_o i_o which_o have_v less_o of_o my_o will_n than_o these_o thought_n have_v there_o be_v scarce_o any_o thing_n against_o which_o i_o do_v more_o watch_v and_o pray_v and_o strive_v than_o against_o these_o thought_n and_o whatsoever_o tincture_n of_o vanity_n and_o corruption_n be_v find_v in_o they_o i_o be_o hearty_o sorry_a for_o it_o i_o hate_v and_o loathe_v it_o and_o i_o hope_v that_o the_o merciful_a god_n will_v not_o impute_v it_o to_o i_o to_o the_o reject_v of_o my_o prayer_n or_o to_o any_o breach_n between_o he_o and_o i_o i_o find_v that_o my_o very_a fear_n of_o this_o evil_a and_o desire_v to_o avoid_v it_o do_v draw_v my_o thought_n to_o it_o as_o a_o man_n great_a desire_n to_o sleep_v and_o his_o fear_n that_o he_o shall_v not_o sleep_v do_v common_o keep_v he_o wake_v these_o thought_n i_o abhor_v not_o only_o before_o and_o after_o but_o in_o the_o very_a time_n they_o come_v in_o and_o i_o strive_v with_o might_n and_o main_a against_o they_o if_o god_n approve_v my_o service_n and_o own_o i_o in_o it_o i_o shall_v be_v abundant_o satisfy_v though_o man_n what_o soever_o or_o howmany_a soever_o they_o be_v shall_v despise_v and_o loathe_v it_o on_o the_o contrary_a if_o man_n shall_v never_o so_o high_o approve_v it_o i_o can_v never_o be_v satisfy_v if_o god_n do_v not_o accept_v and_o bless_v it_o this_o i_o be_o sure_a of_o if_o i_o be_v sure_a of_o any_o thing_n i_o discern_v that_o by_o care_n i_o have_v bring_v it_o to_o that_o pass_n that_o my_o thought_n of_o other_o present_a with_o i_o in_o prayer_n be_v not_o with_o regard_n to_o their_o praiseâ—_n which_o i_o value_v not_o but_o to_o what_o be_v fit_a to_o be_v do_v by_o i_o in_o that_o service_n and_o to_o their_o be_v affect_v with_o it_o i_o find_v i_o be_o prone_a to_o be_v anxious_o scrupulous_a yet_o i_o shall_v consider_v that_o there_o be_v insuitable_a weakness_n as_o impertinent_a thought_n accompany_v the_o best_a performance_n finis_fw-la his_o write_n publish_v be_v 1._o his_o history_n of_o col._n massy_n military-action_n at_o and_o near_o gloucester_n 2._o the_o interest_n of_o england_n one_a and_o 2d_o part._n 3._o a_o discourse_n of_o the_o religion_n of_o england_n assert_v that_o reform_a christianity_n settle_v in_o its_o due_a latitude_n be_v the_o stability_n and_o advancement_n of_o this_o kingdom_n in_o two_o part_n 4._o the_o kingdom_n of_o god_n among_o man_n with_o a_o discourse_n of_o schism_n and_o a_o account_n of_o himself_o about_o conformity_n book_n print_v for_o thomas_n parkhurst_n the_o art_n of_o divine_a meditation_n by_o edmund_n calamy_n late_o of_o aldermanburic_n london_n mr._n thomas_n wadsworth_n remain_n with_o remarkable_n of_o his_o holy_a life_n and_o death_n there_o be_v print_v a_o discourse_n of_o mr._n nathaniel_n vincent_n of_o self-examination_n and_o meditation_n on_o the_o sacrament_n one_o hundred_o select_a sermon_n of_o thomas_n horton_n late_o of_o st._n helen_n london_n a_o discourse_n of_o actual_a providence_n by_o john_n collings_n d._n d._n a_o exposition_n on_o the_o six_o first_o chapter_n of_o the_o revelation_n by_o charles_n phelps_n sermon_n of_o grace_n and_o temptation_n by_o thomas_n froysel_n ark_n of_o the_o covenant_n by_o george_n gelaspy_n a_o new-years-gift_n by_o thomas_n lamb._n christ_n display_v by_o nathaniel_n heywood_n heaven_n or_o hell_n in_o a_o good_a or_o bad_a conscience_n by_o nathaniel_n vincent_n incomparable_a excellency_n of_o god_n in_o his_o attribute_n and_o word_n by_o george_n swinnock_n glimpse_n of_o eternity_n by_o abram_n coley_n a_o exposition_n on_o the_o assembly_n catechism_n by_o thomas_n doolitle_o another_o exposition_n by_o thomas_n lye_n another_o by_o thomas_n vincent_n morning-exercise_n against_o popery_n by_o sundry_a minister_n of_o the_o gospel_n four_o useful_a discourse_n by_o jeâ—_n burrough_n publish_v by_o mattheâ—_n mead._n present_a state_n of_o new_a england_n husband-man_n companion_n it_o divers_a suitable_a meditation_n by_o edward_n bury_n revival_n of_o grace_n by_o henry_n hurst_n shepherdy_o spiritualise_v by_o john_n wood._n antidote_n against_o the_o fear_n of_o death_n by_o edward_n bury_n bury_n in_o his_o funeral-sermon_n funeral-sermon_n marcus_n antoniâ—â—_n