the_o king_n contrary_a to_o the_o law_n esth._n 4.16_o i_o think_v also_o of_o benhadad_n servant_n who_o go_v with_o rope_n upon_o their_o head_n to_o their_o enemy_n for_o mercy_n 1_o kin._n 20.31_o etc._n etc._n the_o woman_n of_o canaan_n also_o that_o will_v not_o be_v daunt_v though_o call_v dog_n by_o christ_n mat._n 15.22_o etc._n etc._n and_o the_o man_n that_o go_v to_o borrow_v bread_n at_o midnight_n luk._n 11.5_o 6_o 7_o 8_o etc._n etc._n be_v great_a encouragement_n unto_o i_o 206._o i_o never_o see_v those_o height_n and_o depth_n in_o grace_n and_o love_n and_o mercy_n as_o i_o see_v after_o this_o temptation_n great_a sin_n do_v draw_v out_o great_a grace_n and_o where_o guilt_n be_v most_o terrible_a and_o fierce_a there_o the_o mercy_n of_o god_n in_o christ_n when_o show_v to_o the_o soul_n appear_v most_o high_a and_o mighty_a when_o job_n have_v pass_v through_o his_o captivity_n he_o have_v twice_o as_o much_o as_o he_o have_v before_o job_n 42.10_o bless_a be_v god_n for_o jesus_n christ_n our_o lord_n many_o other_o thing_n i_o may_v here_o make_v observation_n of_o but_o i_o will_v be_v brief_a and_o therefore_o shall_v at_o this_o time_n omit_v they_o and_o do_v pray_v god_n that_o my_o harm_n may_v make_v other_o fear_v to_o offend_v lest_o they_o also_o be_v make_v to_o bear_v the_o iron_n yoke_v as_o i_o 207._o now_o i_o shall_v go_v forward_o to_o give_v you_o a_o relation_n of_o other_o of_o the_o lord_n deal_n with_o i_o of_o his_o deal_n with_o i_o at_o sundâ—y_a other_o season_n and_o of_o the_o temptation_n i_o then_o do_v meet_v withal_o i_o shall_v begin_v with_o what_o i_o meet_v with_o when_o i_o first_o do_v join_v in_o fellowship_n with_o the_o people_n of_o god_n in_o bedford_n after_o i_o have_v propound_v to_o the_o church_n that_o my_o desire_n be_v to_o walk_v in_o the_o order_n and_o ordinance_n of_o christ_n with_o they_o and_o be_v also_o admit_v by_o they_o while_o i_o think_v of_o that_o bless_a ordinance_n of_o christ_n which_o be_v his_o last_o supper_n with_o his_o disciple_n before_o his_o death_n that_o scripture_n do_v this_o in_o remembrance_n of_o i_o luk._n 22.19_o be_v make_v a_o very_a precious_a word_n unto_o i_o for_o by_o it_o the_o lord_n do_v come_v down_o upon_o my_o conscience_n with_o the_o discovery_n of_o his_o death_n for_o my_o sin_n and_o as_o i_o then_o feel_v do_v as_o if_o he_o plunge_v i_o in_o the_o virtue_n of_o the_o same_o but_o behold_v i_o have_v not_o be_v long_o a_o partaker_n at_o that_o ordinance_n but_o such_o fierce_a and_o sad_a temptation_n do_v attend_v i_o at_o all_o time_n therein_o both_o to_o blaspheme_v the_o ordinance_n and_o to_o wish_v some_o deadly_a thing_n to_o those_o that_o then_o do_v eat_v thereof_o that_o lest_o i_o shall_v at_o any_o time_n be_v guilty_a of_o consent_v to_o these_o wicked_a and_o fearful_a thought_n i_o be_v force_v to_o bend_v myself_o all_o the_o while_n to_o pray_v to_o god_n to_o keep_v i_o from_o such_o blasphemy_n and_o also_o to_o cry_v to_o god_n to_o bless_v the_o bread_n and_o cup_n to_o they_o as_o it_o go_v from_o mouth_n to_o mouth_n the_o reason_n of_o this_o temptation_n i_o have_v think_v since_o be_v because_o i_o do_v not_o with_o that_o reverence_n at_o first_o approach_n to_o partake_v thereof_o 208._o thus_o i_o continue_v for_o three_o quarter_n of_o a_o year_n and_o can_v never_o have_v rest_n nor_o ease_n but_o at_o last_o the_o lord_n come_v in_o upon_o my_o soul_n with_o that_o same_o scripture_n by_o which_o my_o soul_n be_v visit_v before_o and_o after_o that_o i_o have_v be_v usual_o very_o well_o and_o comfortable_a in_o the_o partake_n of_o that_o bless_a ordinance_n and_o have_v i_o trust_v therein_o discern_v the_o lord_n body_n as_o break_v for_o my_o sin_n and_o that_o his_o precious_a blood_n have_v be_v shed_v for_o my_o transgression_n 209._o upon_o a_o time_n i_o be_v somewhat_o incline_v to_o a_o consumption_n wherefore_o about_o the_o spring_n i_o be_v sudden_o and_o violent_o seize_v with_o much_o weakness_n in_o my_o outward_a man_n insomuch_o that_o i_o think_v i_o can_v not_o live_v now_o begin_v i_o afresh_o to_o give_v myself_o up_o to_o a_o serious_a examination_n after_o my_o state_n and_o condition_n for_o the_o future_a and_o of_o my_o evidence_n for_o that_o bless_a world_n to_o come_v for_o it_o have_v i_o bless_v the_o name_n of_o god_n be_v my_o usual_a course_n as_o always_o so_o especial_o in_o the_o day_n of_o affliction_n to_o endeavour_v to_o keep_v my_o interest_n in_o life_n to_o come_v clear_a before_o my_o eye_n 210._o but_o i_o have_v no_o soon_o begin_v to_o recall_v to_o mind_v my_o former_a experience_n of_o the_o goodness_n of_o god_n to_o my_o soul_n but_o there_o come_v flock_v into_o my_o mind_n a_o innumerable_a company_n of_o my_o sin_n and_o transgression_n among_o which_o these_o be_v at_o this_o time_n most_o to_o my_o affliction_n namely_o my_o deadness_n dulness_n and_o coldness_n in_o holy_a duty_n my_o wander_n of_o heart_n my_o wearisomeness_n in_o all_o good_a thing_n my_o want_n of_o love_n to_o god_n his_o way_n and_o people_n with_o this_o at_o the_o end_n of_o all_o be_v these_o the_o fruit_n of_o christianity_n be_v these_o the_o token_n of_o a_o bless_a man_n 211._o at_o the_o apprehension_n of_o these_o thing_n my_o sickness_n be_v double_v upon_o i_o for_o now_o be_v i_o sick_a in_o my_o inward_a man_n my_o soul_n be_v clog_v with_o guilt_n now_o also_o be_v all_o my_o former_a experience_n of_o god_n goodness_n to_o i_o quite_o take_v out_o of_o my_o mind_n and_o hide_v as_o if_o it_o have_v never_o be_v nor_o see_v now_o be_v my_o soul_n great_o pinch_v between_o these_o two_o consideration_n live_v i_o must_v not_o die_v i_o dare_v not_o now_o i_o sink_v and_o fall_v in_o my_o spirit_n and_o be_v give_v up_o all_o for_o lose_v but_o as_o i_o be_v walk_v up_o and_o down_o in_o the_o house_n as_o a_o man_n in_o a_o most_o woeful_a state_n that_o word_n of_o god_n take_v hold_v of_o my_o heart_n you_o be_v justify_v free_o by_o his_o grace_n through_o the_o redemption_n that_o be_v in_o christ_n jesus_n rom._n 3.24_o 212._o now_o be_v i_o as_o one_o awaken_v out_o of_o some_o troublesome_a sleep_n and_o dream_n and_o listen_v to_o this_o heavenly_a sentence_n i_o be_v as_o if_o i_o hear_v it_o thus_o expound_v to_o i_o sinner_n thou_o think_v that_o because_o of_o thy_o sin_n and_o infirmity_n i_o can_v save_v thy_o soul_n but_o behold_v my_o son_n be_v by_o i_o and_o upon_o he_o i_o look_v and_o not_o on_o tâ—ree_n and_o will_v deal_v with_o thou_o according_a as_o i_o be_o please_v with_o he_o at_o this_o i_o be_v great_o lighten_v in_o my_o mind_n and_o make_v to_o understand_v that_o god_n can_v justify_v a_o sinner_n at_o any_o time_n it_o be_v but_o look_v upon_o christ_n and_o impute_v of_o his_o benefit_n to_o we_o and_o the_o work_n be_v forthwith_o do_v 213._o and_o as_o i_o be_v thus_o in_o a_o muse_n that_o scripture_n come_v with_o great_a power_n upon_o my_o spirit_n not_o by_o work_n of_o righteousness_n that_o we_o have_v do_v but_o according_a to_o his_o mercy_n he_o save_v we_o etc._n etc._n 2_o tim._n 1_o 9_o tit._n 3.5_o now_o be_v i_o get_v on_o high_a i_o see_v myself_o within_o the_o arm_n of_o grace_n and_o mercy_n and_o though_o i_o be_v before_o afraid_a to_o think_v of_o a_o die_a hour_n yet_o now_o i_o cry_v let_v i_o die_v now_o death_n be_v lovely_a and_o beautiful_a in_o my_o sight_n for_o i_o see_v we_o shall_v never_o live_v indeed_o till_o we_o be_v go_v to_o the_o other_o world_n o_o methinks_v this_o life_n be_v but_o a_o slumber_n in_o comparison_n of_o that_o above_o at_o this_o time_n also_o i_o see_v more_o in_o those_o word_n heir_n of_o god_n rom._n 8.17_o then_o ever_o i_o shall_v be_v able_a to_o express_v while_o i_o live_v in_o this_o world_n heir_n of_o god_n god_n himself_o be_v the_o portion_n of_o the_o saint_n this_o i_o see_v and_o wonder_v at_o but_o can_v tell_v you_o what_o i_o see_v 214._o at_o another_o time_n though_o just_a before_o i_o be_v pretty_a well_o and_o savoury_a in_o my_o spirit_n yet_o sudden_o there_o fall_v upon_o i_o a_o great_a cloud_n of_o darkness_n which_o do_v so_o hide_v from_o i_o the_o thing_n of_o god_n and_o christ_n that_o i_o be_v as_o if_o i_o have_v never_o see_v or_o know_v they_o in_o my_o life_n i_o be_v also_o so_o overrun_v in_o my_o soul_n with_o a_o senseless_a heartless_a frame_n of_o spirit_n that_o i_o can_v not_o feel_v my_o soul_n to_o move_v or_o stir_v after_o grace_n and_o life_n
have_v be_v make_v upon_o it_o 249._o just_o thus_o i_o see_v it_o be_v and_o will_v be_v with_o they_o who_o have_v gift_n but_o want_v saving-grace_n they_o be_v in_o the_o hand_n of_o christ_n as_o the_o cymbal_n in_o the_o hand_n of_o david_n and_o as_o david_n can_v with_o the_o cymbal_n make_v that_o mirth_n in_o the_o service_n of_o god_n as_o to_o elevate_v the_o heart_n of_o the_o worshipper_n so_o christ_n can_v use_v these_o gift_a man_n as_o with_o they_o to_o affect_v the_o soul_n of_o his_o people_n in_o his_o church_n yet_o when_o he_o have_v do_v all_o hang_v they_o by_o as_o lifeless_a though_o sound_v cymbal_n 250._o this_o consideration_n therefore_o together_o with_o some_o other_o be_v for_o the_o most_o part_n as_o a_o maul_v on_o the_o head_n of_o pride_n and_o desire_n of_o vainglory_n what_o think_v i_o shall_v i_o be_v proud_a because_o i_o be_o a_o sound_a brass_n be_v it_o so_o much_o to_o be_v a_o fiddle_n have_v not_o the_o least_o creature_n that_o have_v life_n more_o of_o god_n in_o it_o than_o these_o beside_o i_o know_v it_o be_v love_n shall_v never_o die_v but_o these_o must_v cease_v and_o vanish_v so_o i_o conclude_v a_o little_a grace_n a_o little_a love_n a_o little_a of_o the_o true_a fear_n of_o god_n be_v better_a than_o all_o these_o gift_n yea_o and_o i_o be_o full_o convince_v of_o it_o that_o it_o be_v possible_a for_o a_o soul_n that_o can_v scarce_o give_v a_o man_n a_o answer_n but_o with_o great_a confusion_n as_o to_o method_n i_o say_v it_o be_v possible_a for_o they_o to_o have_v a_o thousand_o time_n more_o grace_n and_o so_o to_o be_v more_o in_o the_o love_n and_o favour_n of_o the_o lord_n than_o some_o who_o by_o virtue_n of_o the_o gift_n of_o knowledge_n can_v deliver_v themselves_o like_o angel_n a_o brief_a account_n of_o the_o author_n imprisonment_n 251._o have_v make_v profession_n of_o the_o glorious_a gospel_n of_o christ_n along_o time_n and_o have_v preach_v the_o same_o about_o five_o year_n i_o be_v apprehend_v at_o a_o meeting_n of_o good_a people_n in_o the_o country_n among_o who_o have_v they_o let_v i_o alone_o i_o shall_v â—â—ve_v preach_v that_o day_n but_o they_o take_v i_o away_o from_o among_o they_o and_o have_v i_o before_o a_o justice_n who_o after_o i_o have_v offer_v security_n for_o my_o appear_v at_o the_o next_o session_n yet_o commit_v i_o because_o my_o surety_n will_v not_o consent_v to_o be_v bind_v that_o i_o shall_v preach_v no_o more_o to_o the_o people_n 252._o at_o the_o session_n after_o i_o be_v indict_v for_o a_o upholder_n and_o maintainer_n of_o unlawful_a assembly_n and_o conventicle_n and_o for_o not_o conform_v to_o the_o national_a worship_n of_o the_o church_n of_o england_n and_o after_o some_o conference_n there_o with_o the_o justice_n be_v sentence_v to_o perpetual_a banishment_n because_o i_o refuse_v to_o conform_v so_o be_v again_o deliver_v â—p_n to_o the_o gaoler_n hand_n i_o be_v have_v home_o to_o prison_n again_o and_o there_o have_v lie_v now_o above_o five_o year_n and_o a_o quarter_n wait_v to_o see_v what_o god_n will_v suffer_v these_o mâ—n_z to_o do_v with_o i_o 253._o in_o which_o condition_n i_o have_v continue_v wiâ—h_v much_o content_n through_o grace_n but_o have_v meet_v with_o many_o tuâ—nings_n and_o going_n upon_o my_o heart_n both_o fâ—om_n the_o lord_n satan_n and_o my_o own_o corruption_n by_o all_o which_o glory_n be_v to_o jesus_n christ_n i_o have_v also_o receive_v among_o many_o thing_n much_o conviction_n instruction_n and_o understanding_n of_o which_o at_o laâ—ge_n i_o shall_v not_o here_o discourse_n only_o give_v you_o in_o a_o hint_n or_o two_o a_o word_n that_o may_v stir_v up_o the_o godly_a to_o bless_v god_n and_o to_o pray_v for_o i_o and_o also_o to_o take_v encouragement_n shall_v the_o case_n be_v their_o own_o not_o to_o fear_v what_o man_n can_v do_v unto_o they_o 254._o i_o never_o have_v in_o all_o my_o life_n so_o great_a a_o inlet_n into_o the_o word_n of_o god_n as_o now_o they_o scripture_n that_o i_o see_v nothing_o in_o before_o be_v make_v in_o this_o place_n and_o state_n to_o shine_v upon_o i_o jesus_n christ_n alâ—o_o be_v never_o more_o reâ—l_a and_o apparent_a then_o now_o here_o i_o have_v see_v he_o and_o feel_v he_o indeed_o o_o that_o word_n we_o have_v not_o preach_v unto_o you_o cunning_o devise_v fable_n 2_o pet._n 1_o 16._o and_o that_o god_n raise_v christ_n from_o the_o dead_a and_o give_v he_o glory_n that_o your_o faith_n and_o hope_n may_v be_v in_o god_n 1_o pet._n 1.20_o be_v bless_a word_n unto_o i_o in_o this_o my_o imprison_a condition_n 255._o these_o three_o or_o four_o scripture_n also_o have_v be_v great_a refreshment_n in_o this_o condition_n to_o i_o joh._n 14.1_o 2_o 3_o 4._o joh._n 16.33_o col._n 3.3_o 4._o heb._n 12.22_o 23_o 24._o so_o that_o sometime_o when_o i_o have_v be_v in_o the_o favour_n of_o they_o i_o have_v be_v able_a to_o laugh_v at_o destruction_n and_o â—o_o fear_v neiâ—her_o the_o horse_n nor_o his_o rider_n i_o have_v have_v sweet_a sight_n of_o the_o forgiveness_n of_o my_o sin_n in_o this_o place_n and_o of_o my_o be_v with_o jesus_n in_o another_o world_n o_o the_o mount_n zion_n the_o heavenly_a jerusalem_n the_o innumerable_a company_n of_o angel_n and_o god_n the_o judge_n of_o all_o and_o the_o spirit_n of_o just_a man_n make_v perfect_a and_o jesus_n have_v be_v sweet_a unto_o i_o in_o this_o place_n i_o have_v see_v that_o here_o that_o i_o be_o persuade_v i_o shall_v never_o while_o in_o this_o world_n be_v able_a to_o express_v i_o have_v see_v a_o truth_n in_o that_o scripture_n who_o have_v not_o see_v you_o love_v in_o who_o though_o now_o you_o see_v he_o not_o yet_o believe_v you_o rejoice_v with_o joy_n unspeakable_a and_o full_a of_o glory_n 1_o pet._n 1.8_o 256._o i_o never_o know_v what_o it_o be_v for_o god_n to_o stand_v by_o i_o at_o all_o turn_n and_o at_o every_o offer_n of_o satan_n etc._n etc._n as_o i_o have_v find_v he_o since_o i_o come_v in_o hither_o for_o look_v how_o fear_n have_v present_v themselves_o so_o have_v support_n and_o encouragement_n yea_o when_o i_o have_v start_v even_o as_o it_o be_v at_o nothing_o else_o but_o my_o shadow_n yet_o god_n as_o be_v very_o tender_a of_o i_o have_v not_o suffer_v i_o to_o be_v molest_v but_o will_v with_o one_o scripture_n and_o another_o strengthen_v i_o against_o all_o insomuch_o that_o i_o have_v often_o say_v be_v it_o lawful_a i_o can_v pray_v for_o great_a trouble_n for_o the_o great_a comfort_n sake_n eccles._n 7.14_o 2_o cor._n 1.5_o 257._o before_o i_o come_v to_o prison_n i_o see_v what_o be_v a_o come_n and_o have_v especial_o two_o consideration_n wâ—rm_v upon_o my_o heart_n the_o first_o be_v how_o to_o be_v able_a to_o endure_v shall_v my_o imprisonment_n be_v lonâ—_n and_o tedious_a the_o second_o be_v how_o to_o be_v able_a to_o encounter_v death_n shall_v that_o be_v here_o my_o portion_n for_o the_o first_o of_o these_o that_o scripture_n col._n 1.11_o be_v great_a information_n to_o i_o namely_o to_o pray_v to_o god_n to_o be_v strengthen_v with_o all_o might_n according_a to_o his_o glorious_a power_n unto_o all_o patience_n and_o long-suffering_a with_o joyfulness_n i_o can_v seldom_o go_v to_o prayer_n before_o i_o be_v imprison_v but_o for_o not_o so_o little_a as_o a_o year_n together_o this_o sentence_n of_o sweet_a petition_n will_v as_o it_o be_v thrust_v itself_o into_o my_o mind_n and_o persuade_v i_o that_o if_o ever_o i_o will_v go_v through_o long-suffering_a i_o must_v have_v all_o patience_n especial_o if_o i_o will_v endure_v it_o joyful_o 258._o as_o to_o the_o second_o consideration_n that_o say_v 2_o cor._n 1.9_o be_v of_o great_a use_n unto_o i_o but_o we_o have_v the_o sentence_n of_o death_n in_o ourselves_o that_o we_o may_v not_o trust_v in_o ourselves_o but_o in_o god_n that_o raise_v the_o dead_a by_o this_o scripture_n i_o be_v make_v to_o see_v that_o if_o ever_o i_o will_v suffer_v right_o i_o must_v first_o pass_v a_o sentence_n of_o death_n upon_o every_o thing_n that_o can_v proper_o be_v call_v a_o thing_n of_o this_o life_n even_o to_o reckon_v myself_o my_o wife_n my_o child_n my_o health_n my_o enjoyment_n and_o all_o as_o dead_a to_o i_o &_o myself_o as_o dead_a to_o they_o 259._o the_o second_o be_v to_o live_v upon_o god_n that_o be_v invisible_a as_o paul_n say_v in_o another_o place_n the_o way_n not_o to_o faint_v be_v to_o look_v not_o at_o the_o thing_n that_o be_v see_v but_o at_o the_o thing_n that_o be_v not_o see_v for_o the_o thing_n that_o be_v see_v be_v temporal_a but_o the_o thing_n that_o be_v not_o see_v they_o
be_v eternal_a and_o thus_o i_o reason_v with_o myself_o if_o i_o provide_v only_o for_o a_o prison_n than_o the_o whip_n come_v at_o unaware_o and_o so_o do_v also_o the_o pillory_n again_o if_o i_o provide_v only_o for_o these_o than_o i_o be_o not_o fit_a for_o banishment_n further_o if_o i_o conclude_v that_o banishment_n be_v the_o worst_a then_o if_o death_n come_v i_o be_o surprise_v so_o that_o i_o see_v the_o best_a way_n to_o go_v through_o suffering_n be_v to_o trust_v in_o god_n through_o christ_n as_o touch_v the_o world_n to_o come_v and_o as_o touch_v this_o world_n to_o count_v the_o grave_a my_o house_n to_o make_v my_o bed_n in_o darkness_n to_o say_v to_o corruption_n thou_o be_v my_o father_n and_o to_o the_o worm_n thou_o be_v my_o mother_n and_o sister_n that_o be_v to_o familiarize_v these_o thing_n to_o i_o 260._o but_o notwithstanding_o these_o help_n i_o find_v myself_o a_o man_n and_o compass_v with_o infirmity_n the_o part_n with_o my_o wife_n and_o poor_a child_n have_v oft_o be_v to_o i_o in_o tâ—is_fw-la place_n as_o the_o pull_v the_o flesh_n from_o my_o bone_n and_o that_o not_o only_o because_o i_o be_o somewhat_o too_o too_o fond_a of_o these_o great_a mercy_n but_o also_o because_o i_o shall_v have_v often_o bring_v to_o my_o mind_n the_o many_o hardship_n misery_n and_o want_n that_o my_o poor_a family_n be_v like_a to_o meet_v with_o shall_v i_o be_v take_v from_o they_o especial_o my_o poor_a blind_a child_n who_o lie_v neaâ—er_v my_o heart_n than_o all_o i_o have_v beside_o o_o the_o thought_n of_o the_o hardship_n i_o think_v this_o may_v go_v under_o will_v break_v my_o heart_n to_o piece_n 261._o poor_a child_n think_v i_o what_o sorrow_n be_v thou_o like_v to_o have_v for_o thy_o portion_n in_o this_o world_n thou_o must_v be_v â—eaten_v must_v beg_v suffer_v hunger_n cold_a nakedness_n and_o a_o thousand_o calamity_n though_o i_o can_v now_o endure_v the_o wind_n shall_v blow_v upon_o thou_o but_o yet_o recall_v myself_o think_v i_o i_o must_v venture_v you_o all_o with_o god_n though_o it_o go_v to_o the_o quick_a to_o leave_v you_o o_o i_o see_v in_o this_o condition_n i_o be_v as_o a_o man_n who_o be_v pull_v down_o his_o house_n upon_o the_o head_n of_o his_o wife_n and_o child_n yet_o think_v i_o i_o must_v do_v it_o i_o must_v do_v it_o and_o now_o i_o think_v of_o those_o two_o milch_n cow_n that_o be_v to_o carry_v the_o ark_n of_o god_n into_o another_o country_n and_o to_o leave_v their_o calf_n behind_o they_o 1_o sam._n 6.10_o 11_o 12._o 262._o but_o that_o which_o help_v i_o in_o this_o temptation_n be_v divers_a consideration_n of_o which_o thâ—ee_o in_o special_a here_o i_o will_v name_v the_o first_o be_v the_o consideration_n of_o those_o two_o scripture_n leave_v thy_o fatherless_a child_n i_o will_v preserve_v they_o alive_a and_o let_v thy_o widow_n trust_n in_o i_o and_o again_o the_o lord_n say_v very_o it_o shall_v go_v well_o with_o thy_o remnant_n very_o i_o will_v cause_v the_o enemy_n to_o entreat_v thou_o well_o in_o the_o time_n of_o evil_n etc._n etc._n 263._o i_o have_v also_o this_o consideration_n that_o â—f_o i_o shall_v now_o venture_v all_o for_o god_n i_o engage_v god_n to_o take_v care_n of_o my_o concernment_n but_o if_o i_o forsake_v he_o and_o his_o way_n for_o fear_v of_o any_o trouble_n that_o shall_v come_v to_o i_o or_o i_o than_o i_o shall_v not_o only_o falsify_v my_o profession_n but_o shall_v count_v also_o that_o my_o conceâ—nments_n be_v not_o so_o sure_a if_o leave_v at_o god_n foot_n while_o i_o stand_v to_o and_o for_o his_o name_n as_o they_o will_v be_v if_o they_o be_v under_o my_o own_o tuition_n though_o with_o the_o denial_n of_o the_o way_n of_o god_n this_o be_v a_o smart_a consideration_n and_o be_v as_o spur_n unto_o my_o flesh_n that_o scripture_n also_o great_o help_v it_o to_o fasten_v the_o more_o upon_o i_o where_o christ_n pâ—ays_v against_o judas_n that_o god_n wouâ—d_v disappoint_v he_o in_o all_o his_o selfish_a thought_n which_o move_v he_o to_o sell_v his_o master_n pray_v read_v it_o sober_o psal._n 109.6_o 7_o 8_o etc._n etc._n 264._o i_o have_v also_o another_o consideration_n and_o that_o be_v the_o dread_n of_o the_o torment_n of_o hell_n which_o i_o be_v sure_a they_o must_v partake_v of_o that_o for_o fear_n of_o the_o cross_n do_v shrink_v from_o their_o profession_n of_o christ_n his_o word_n and_o law_n â—efore_o the_o son_n of_o man_n and_o of_o the_o glory_n that_o he_o have_v prepare_v for_o those_o that_o in_o faith_n and_o love_n and_o patience_n stand_v to_o his_o way_n before_o they_o these_o thing_n i_o say_v have_v help_v i_o when_o the_o thought_n of_o the_o misery_n that_o both_o myself_o and_o my_o might_n for_o the_o sake_n of_o my_o profession_n be_v expose_v to_o have_v lie_v pinch_v on_o my_o mind_n 265._o when_o i_o have_v indeed_o conceit_v that_o i_o may_v be_v banish_v for_o my_o profession_n than_o i_o have_v think_v of_o that_o scripture_n they_o be_v stone_v they_o be_v saw_v asunder_o be_v tempt_v be_v slay_v with_o the_o sword_n they_o wander_v about_o in_o sheepskin_n and_o goatskin_n be_v destitute_a afflict_a torment_a of_o who_o the_o world_n be_v not_o worthy_a for_o all_o they_o think_v they_o be_v too_o bad_a to_o dwell_v and_o abide_v among_o they_o i_o have_v also_o think_v of_o that_o say_n the_o holy_a ghost_n witness_v in_o every_o city_n that_o bond_n and_o affliction_n abide_v i_o i_o have_v very_o think_v that_o my_o soul_n and_o it_o have_v sometime_o reason_v about_o the_o sore_a &_o sad_a estate_n of_o a_o banish_a and_o exile_a condition_n how_o they_o be_v expose_v to_o hunger_n to_o cold_a to_o peril_n to_o nakedness_n to_o enemy_n and_o a_o thousand_o calamity_n and_o at_o last_o it_o may_v be_v to_o die_v in_o a_o diâ—ch_n like_o a_o poor_a forlorn_a and_o desolate_a sheep_n but_o i_o thank_v god_n hitherto_o i_o have_v not_o be_v move_v by_o these_o most_o delicate_a reason_n but_o have_v rather_o by_o they_o more_o approve_v my_o heart_n to_o god_n 266._o i_o will_v tell_v you_o oâ—_n a_o pretty_a business_n i_o be_v once_o above_o all_o the_o rest_n in_o a_o very_a faâ—t_n and_o low_a condition_n for_o many_o week_n at_o which_o time_n also_o i_o be_v but_o a_o young_a prisoner_n and_o not_o acquaint_v with_o the_o law_n have_v this_o lay_n much_o upon_o my_o spirit_n that_o my_o imprisonment_n may_v end_v at_o the_o gallow_n for_o aught_o that_o i_o can_v tell_v now_o therefore_o satan_n say_v hard_o at_o i_o to_o beat_v i_o out_o of_o heart_n by_o suggest_v thus_o unto_o i_o but_o how_o if_o when_o you_o come_v indeed_o to_o die_v you_o shall_v be_v in_o this_o condition_n that_o be_v as_o not_o to_o savour_v the_o thing_n of_o god_n not_o to_o have_v any_o evidence_n upon_o your_o soul_n for_o a_o better_a state_n hereafter_o for_o indeed_o at_o that_o time_n all_o the_o thing_n of_o god_n be_v hide_v from_o my_o soul._n 267._o wherefore_o when_o i_o at_o first_o begin_v to_o think_v of_o this_o it_o be_v a_o great_a trouble_n to_o i_o for_o i_o think_v with_o myself_o that_o in_o the_o condition_n i_o now_o be_v in_o i_o be_v not_o fit_a to_o die_v neither_o indeed_o do_v think_v i_o can_v if_o i_o shall_v be_v call_v to_o it_o beside_o i_o think_v with_o myself_o if_o i_o shall_v make_v a_o scrable_a shifâ—_n to_o clamber_v up_o the_o ladder_n yet_o i_o shall_v either_o with_o quake_v or_o other_o symptom_n of_o faint_n give_v occaâ—ion_n to_o the_o enemy_n to_o reproach_v the_o way_n of_o god_n and_o his_o people_n for_o their_o timerousness_n this_o therefore_o lay_v with_o great_a trouble_n upon_o i_o for_o methinks_v i_o be_v ashamed_a to_o die_v with_o a_o pale_a face_n and_o totter_a knee_n for_o such_o a_o cause_n as_o this_o 268._o wherefore_o i_o pray_v to_o god_n that_o he_o will_v coâ—fort_v i_o and_o give_v i_o strength_n to_o do_v and_o suffer_v what_o he_o shall_v call_v i_o to_o yet_o no_o comfort_n appear_v but_o all_o continue_v hide_v i_o be_v also_o at_o this_o time_n so_o real_o possess_v with_o the_o thought_n of_o death_n that_o oft_o i_o be_v as_o if_o i_o be_v on_o the_o ladder_n with_o the_o rope_n about_o my_o neck_n only_o this_o be_v some_o encouragement_n to_o i_o i_o think_v i_o may_v have_v now_o a_o opportunity_n to_o speak_v my_o last_o word_n to_o a_o multitude_n which_o i_o think_v will_v come_v to_o see_v i_o die_v and_o think_v i_o if_o it_o must_v be_v so_o if_o god_n will_v but_o convelt_v one_o soul_n by_o my_o very_a last_o word_n i_o shall_v for_o count_v my_o life_n throw_v away_o nor_o lose_v
servant_n for_o i_o have_v not_o preach_v long_o before_o some_o begin_v to_o be_v touch_v by_o the_o word_n and_o to_o be_v great_o afflict_v in_o their_o mind_n at_o the_o apprehension_n of_o the_o greatness_n of_o their_o sin_n and_o of_o their_o need_n of_o jesus_n christ._n 226._o but_o i_o at_o first_o can_v not_o believe_v that_o god_n shall_v speak_v by_o i_o to_o the_o heart_n of_o any_o man_n still_o count_v myself_o unworthy_a yet_o those_o who_o thus_o be_v touch_v will_v love_v i_o and_o have_v a_o peculiar_a respect_n for_o i_o and_o though_o i_o do_v put_v it_o from_o i_o that_o they_o shall_v be_v awaken_v by_o i_o still_o they_o will_v confess_v it_o and_o affirm_v it_o before_o the_o saint_n of_o god_n they_o will_v also_o bless_v god_n for_o i_o unworthy_a wretch_n that_o i_o be_o aâ—d_v count_v i_o god_n instrument_n that_o show_v to_o they_o the_o way_n of_o salvation_n 227._o wherefore_o see_v they_o in_o both_o their_o word_n and_o deed_n to_o be_v so_o constant_a &_o also_o in_o their_o heart_n so_o earnest_o press_v after_o the_o knowledge_n of_o jesus_n christ_n rejoice_v that_o ever_o god_n do_v send_v i_o where_o they_o be_v then_o i_o begin_v to_o conclude_v it_o may_v be_v so_o that_o god_n have_v own_v in_o his_o work_n such_o a_o foolish_a one_o as_o i_o and_o then_o come_v that_o word_n of_o god_n to_o my_o heart_n with_o much_o sweet_a refreshment_n the_o blessing_n of_o they_o that_o be_v ready_a to_o perish_v be_v come_v upon_o i_o yea_o i_o cause_v the_o widow_n heart_n to_o sing_v for_o joy_n job_n 29.13_o 228._o at_o this_o therefore_o i_o rejoice_v yea_o the_o tear_n of_o those_o who_o god_n do_v awaken_v by_o my_o preach_n will_v be_v both_o solace_n and_o encouragement_n to_o i_o for_o i_o think_v on_o those_o say_n who_o be_v he_o that_o make_v i_o glad_a but_o the_o same_o that_o be_v make_v sorry_a by_o i_o 2_o cor._n 2.2_o and_o again_o though_o i_o be_v not_o a_o apostle_n to_o other_o yet_o doubtless_o i_o be_o unto_o you_o for_o the_o seal_n of_o my_o apostleship_n be_v you_o in_o the_o lord_n 1_o cor._n 9.2_o these_o thing_n therefore_o be_v as_o another_o argument_n unto_o i_o that_o god_n have_v call_v i_o to_o and_o stand_v by_o i_o in_o this_o work_n 229._o in_o my_o preach_n of_o the_o word_n i_o take_v special_a notice_n of_o this_o one_o thing_n namely_o that_o the_o lord_n do_v lead_v i_o to_o begin_v where_o his_o word_n begin_v with_o sinner_n that_o be_v to_o condemn_v all_o flesh_n and_o to_o open_v and_o allege_v that_o the_o curse_n of_o god_n by_o the_o law_n do_v belong_v to_o and_o lay_v hold_v on_o all_o man_n as_o they_o come_v into_o the_o world_n because_o of_o sin_n now_o this_o part_n of_o my_o work_n i_o fulfil_v with_o great_a sense_n for_o the_o terror_n of_o the_o law_n and_o guilt_n for_o my_o transgression_n lay_v heavy_a on_o my_o conscience_n i_o preach_v what_o i_o feel_v what_o i_o smart_o do_v feel_v even_o that_o under_o which_o my_o poor_a soul_n do_v groan_n and_o tremble_v to_o astonishment_n 230._o indeed_o i_o have_v be_v as_o one_o send_v to_o they_o from_o the_o dead_a i_o go_v myself_o in_o chain_n to_o preach_v to_o they_o in_o chain_n and_o carry_v that_o fire_n in_o my_o own_o conscience_n that_o i_o persuade_v they_o to_o beware_v of_o i_o can_v true_o say_v and_o that_o without_o dissemble_v that_o when_o i_o have_v be_v to_o preach_v i_o have_v go_v full_a of_o guilt_n and_o terror_n even_o to_o the_o pulpit-door_n and_o there_o it_o have_v be_v take_v off_o and_o i_o have_v be_v at_o liberty_n in_o my_o mind_n until_o i_o have_v do_v my_o work_n and_o then_o immediate_o even_o before_o i_o can_v get_v down_o the_o pulpit-stair_n have_v be_v as_o bad_a as_o i_o be_v before_o yet_o god_n carry_v i_o on_o but_o sure_o with_o a_o strong_a hand_n for_o neither_o guilt_n nor_o hell_n can_v take_v i_o off_o my_o work_n 231._o thus_o i_o go_v for_o the_o space_n of_o two_o year_n cry_v out_o against_o man_n sin_n and_o their_o fearful_a state_n because_o of_o they_o after_o which_o the_o lord_n come_v in_o upon_o my_o own_o soul_n with_o some_o stay_a peace_n and_o comfort_n through_o christ_n for_o he_o do_v give_v i_o many_o sweet_a discovery_n of_o his_o bless_a grace_n through_o he_o wherefore_o now_o i_o alter_v in_o my_o preach_n for_o still_o i_o preach_v what_o i_o see_v &_o feel_v now_o therefore_o i_o do_v much_o labour_n to_o hold_v forth_o jesus_n christ_n in_o all_o his_o office_n relation_n and_o benefit_n unto_o the_o world_n and_o do_v strive_v also_o to_o discover_v to_o condemn_v and_o remove_v those_o false_a support_n and_o prop_n on_o which_o the_o world_n do_v both_o lean_a and_o by_o they_o fall_v and_o perish_v on_o these_o thing_n also_o i_o stay_v as_o long_o as_o on_o the_o other_o 232._o after_o this_o god_n lead_v i_o into_o something_o of_o the_o mystery_n of_o union_n with_o christ_n wherefore_o that_o i_o discover_v and_o show_v to_o they_o also_o and_o when_o i_o have_v travel_v through_o these_o three_o chief_a point_n of_o the_o word_n of_o god_n about_o the_o space_n of_o five_o year_n or_o more_o i_o be_v catch_v in_o my_o present_a practice_n and_o câ—st_n into_o prison_n where_o i_o have_v lie_v as_o long_o to_o confirm_v tâ—e_v truth_n by_o way_n of_o suffer_v as_o i_o be_v before_o in_o testify_v of_o it_o according_a to_o the_o scripture_n in_o a_o way_n of_o preach_v 233._o when_o i_o have_v be_v in_o preach_v i_o thank_v god_n my_o heart_n have_v often_o all_o the_o time_n of_o this_o anâ—_n the_o other_o exercise_n with_o great_a earnestness_n cry_v to_o god_n that_o he_o will_v make_v the_o word_n effectual_a to_o the_o salvation_n of_o the_o soul_n still_o be_v grieve_v lest_o the_o enemy_n will_v take_v the_o word_n away_o from_o the_o conscience_n and_o so_o it_o shall_v become_v unfruitful_a wherefore_o i_o shall_v labour_v so_o to_o speak_v the_o word_n as_o that_o thereby_o if_o it_o be_v possible_a the_o sin_n and_o perâ—on_n guilty_a may_v be_v particularise_v by_o it_o 234._o also_o when_o i_o have_v do_v the_o exercise_n it_o have_v go_v to_o my_o heart_n to_o think_v the_o word_n shall_v now_o fall_v as_o rain_v on_o stony_a place_n still_o wish_v from_o my_o heart_n o_o thaâ—_n they_o who_o have_v hear_v i_o speak_v this_o day_n do_v but_o see_v as_o i_o do_v what_o sin_n death_n hell_n and_o the_o curse_n of_o god_n be_v and_o also_o what_o the_o grace_n and_o love_n and_o mercy_n of_o god_n be_v through_o christ_n to_o man_n in_o such_o a_o case_n as_o they_o be_v who_o be_v yet_o estrange_v from_o he_o and_o indeed_o i_o do_v often_o say_v in_o my_o heart_n before_o the_o lord_n that_o if_o to_o be_v hang_v up_o present_o before_o their_o eye_n will_v be_v a_o mean_n to_o awaken_v they_o and_o confirm_v they_o in_o the_o truth_n i_o glad_o shall_v be_v content_v 235._o for_o i_o have_v be_v in_o my_o preach_n especial_o when_o i_o have_v be_v engage_v in_o the_o doctrine_n of_o life_n by_o christ_n without_o work_n as_o if_o a_o angel_n of_o god_n have_v stand_v by_o at_o my_o back_n to_o encourage_v i_o o_o it_o have_v be_v with_o such_o poweâ—_n and_o heavenly_a evidence_n upon_o my_o own_o soul_n while_o i_o have_v be_v labour_v to_o unfold_v it_o to_o demonstrate_v it_o and_o to_o fasten_v it_o upon_o the_o conscience_n of_o other_o that_o i_o can_v not_o â—e_v content_v with_o say_v i_o believe_v and_o be_o sure_a methinks_v i_o be_v more_o than_o sure_a if_o it_o be_v lawful_a so_o to_o express_v myself_o that_o those_o thing_n which_o then_o i_o assert_v be_v true_a 236._o when_o i_o go_v first_o to_o preach_v the_o word_n abroad_o the_o doctor_n and_o priest_n of_o the_o country_n do_v open_a wide_a against_o i_o but_o i_o be_v persuade_v of_o this_o not_o to_o render_v rail_v for_o rail_v but_o to_o see_v how_o many_o of_o their_o carnal_a professor_n i_o can_v convince_v of_o their_o miserable_a state_n by_o the_o law_n and_o of_o the_o want_n and_o worth_a of_o christ_n for_o thought_n i_o this_o shall_v answer_v for_o i_o in_o time_n to_o come_v when_o they_o shall_v be_v for_o my_o hire_n before_o their_o face_n gen._n 30.33_o 237._o i_o never_o care_v to_o meddle_v with_o thing_n that_o be_v controvert_v and_o in_o dispute_n among_o the_o saint_n especial_o thing_n of_o the_o low_a nature_n yet_o it_o please_v i_o much_o to_o contend_v with_o great_a earnestness_n for_o the_o word_n of_o faith_n and_o the_o remission_n of_o sin_n by_o the_o death_n and_o suffering_n of_o jesus_n but_o i_o say_v as_o to_o other_o thing_n
i_o shall_v let_v they_o alone_o because_o i_o see_v they_o engender_v strife_n and_o because_o i_o see_v that_o they_o neither_o in_o do_v nor_o in_o leave_v undo_v do_v commend_v we_o to_o god_n to_o be_v his_o beside_o i_o see_v my_o work_n before_o i_o do_v run_v in_o another_o channel_n even_o to_o carry_v a_o awakening-word_n to_o that_o therefore_o do_v i_o stick_v and_o adhere_v 238._o i_o never_o endeavour_v to_o nor_o dare_v make_v use_n of_o other_o man_n line_n rom._n 15.18_o though_o i_o condemn_v not_o all_o that_o do_v for_o i_o very_o think_v and_o find_v by_o expeâ—ience_n that_o what_o be_v teach_v i_o by_o the_o word_n and_o spirit_n of_o christ_n can_v be_v speak_v maintain_v and_o stand_v â—o_o by_o sound_a and_o best_a establish_a conscience_n and_o though_o i_o will_v not_o now_o speak_v all_o that_o i_o know_v in_o this_o matter_n yet_o my_o experience_n have_v more_o interest_n in_o that_o text_n of_o scripture_n gal._n 1.11_o 12._o than_o many_o among_o man_n be_v aware_a 239._o if_o any_o of_o those_o who_o be_v awaken_v by_o my_o ministry_n do_v after_o that_o fall_n back_o as_o sometime_o too_o many_o do_v i_o can_v true_o say_v their_o loss_n have_v be_v more_o to_o i_o then_o if_o one_o of_o my_o own_o child_n beget_v of_o my_o body_n have_v be_v go_v to_o its_o grave_n i_o think_v very_o i_o may_v speak_v it_o without_o a_o offence_n to_o the_o lord_n nothing_o have_v go_v so_o near_o i_o as_o that_o unless_o it_o be_v the_o fear_n of_o the_o loss_n of_o the_o salvation_n of_o my_o own_o soul_n i_o have_v count_v as_o if_o i_o have_v goodly_a building_n and_o lordship_n in_o those_o place_n my_o child_n be_v bear_v my_o heart_n have_v be_v so_o wrap_v up_o in_o the_o gloâ—y_n of_o this_o excellent_a work_n that_o i_o count_v myself_o more_o bless_v and_o honour_v of_o god_n by_o this_o than_o if_o he_o have_v make_v i_o the_o emperor_n of_o the_o christian_a world_n or_o the_o lord_n of_o all_o the_o glory_n of_o earth_n without_o it_o o_o tâ—at_a woâ—d_n he_o that_o convert_v a_o sinner_n from_o the_o error_n of_o his_o way_n do_v save_o a_o soul_n from_o death_n 240._o i_o have_v observe_v that_o where_o i_o have_v have_v a_o work_n to_o do_v for_o god_n i_o have_v have_v first_o as_o it_o be_v the_o go_n of_o god_n upon_o my_o spirit_n to_o desire_v i_o may_v preach_v there_o i_o have_v also_o observe_v that_o such_o and_o such_o soul_n in_o particular_a have_v be_v strong_o set_v upon_o my_o heart_n and_o i_o stir_v up_o to_o wish_v for_o their_o salvation_n and_o that_o these_o very_a soul_n have_v after_o this_o be_v give_v in_o as_o the_o fruit_n of_o my_o ministry_n i_o have_v also_o observe_v that_o a_o word_n cast_v in_o by_o the_o by_o have_v do_v more_o execution_n in_o a_o seâ—mon_a then_o all_o that_o be_v speak_v beside_o sometimes_o also_o when_o i_o have_v think_v i_o do_v no_o good_a than_o i_o do_v most_o of_o all_o and_o at_o other_o time_n when_o i_o think_v i_o shall_v catch_v they_o i_o have_v fish_v for_o nothing_o 241._o my_o great_a desire_n in_o my_o fulfil_n my_o ministry_n be_v to_o get_v into_o the_o dark_a place_n in_o the_o country_n even_o among_o those_o people_n that_o be_v farthest_o off_o of_o profession_n yet_o not_o because_o i_o can_v not_o endure_v the_o light_n for_o i_o fear_v not_o to_o show_v my_o gospel_n to_o any_o but_o because_o i_o find_v my_o spirit_n do_v lean_a most_o after_o awaken_n and_o conveâ—ting_v work_n and_o the_o word_n that_o i_o carry_v do_v lead_v itself_o most_o that_o way_n yea_o so_o have_v i_o strive_v to_o preach_v the_o gospel_n not_o where_o christ_n be_v name_v lest_o i_o shall_v build_v upon_o another_o man_n foundation_n rom._n 15.20_o 242._o in_o my_o preach_n i_o have_v real_o be_v in_o pain_n and_o have_v as_o it_o be_v travel_v to_o bâ—ing_v forth_o child_n to_o god_n neither_o can_v i_o be_v satisfy_v unless_o some_o fruit_n do_v appear_v in_o my_o work_n if_o i_o be_v fruitless_a it_o matter_v nor_o who_o commend_v i_o but_o if_o i_o be_v fruitful_a i_o care_v not_o who_o do_v condemn_v i_o have_v think_v of_o that_o he_o that_o win_v soul_n be_v wise_a pro._n 11.30_o and_o again_o lo_o child_n be_v a_o heritage_n of_o the_o lord_n and_o the_o fruit_n of_o the_o womb_n be_v his_o reward_n as_o arrow_n in_o the_o hand_n of_o a_o mighty_a man_n so_o be_v child_n of_o the_o youth_n happy_a be_v the_o man_n that_o have_v fill_v his_o quiver_n with_o they_o they_o shall_v not_o be_v ashamed_a but_o they_o shall_v speak_v with_o the_o enemy_n in_o the_o gate_n psal._n 127.3_o 4_o 5._o 243._o but_o in_o this_o work_n as_o in_o all_o other_o i_o have_v my_o temptation_n attend_v i_o and_o that_o of_o diveâ—s_a kinâ—s_n as_o sometime_o i_o shall_v be_v assault_v with_o great_a discouragement_n therein_o fear_v that_o i_o shall_v not_o be_v able_a to_o speak_v the_o woâ—d_n at_o all_o to_o edification_n nay_o that_o i_o shall_v not_o be_v able_a to_o speak_v sense_n unto_o the_o people_n at_o which_o time_n i_o shall_v have_v such_o a_o strange_a taintness_n and_o strengthlesness_n seize_v upon_o my_o body_n that_o my_o leg_n have_v scarce_o be_v able_a to_o carry_v i_o to_o the_o place_n of_o exercise_n 244._o sometime_o again_o when_o i_o have_v be_v preach_v i_o have_v be_v violent_o assault_v with_o thought_n of_o blasphemy_n and_o strong_o tempt_v to_o speak_v they_o with_o my_o mouth_n before_o the_o congregation_n i_o have_v also_o at_o some_o time_n even_o when_o i_o have_v begin_v to_o speak_v the_o word_n with_o much_o clearness_n evidence_n and_o liberty_n of_o speech_n yet_o be_v before_o the_o end_n of_o that_o opportunity_n so_o blind_v and_o so_o estrange_v from_o the_o thing_n i_o have_v be_v speak_v and_o have_v also_o be_v so_o straighten_a in_o my_o speech_n as_o to_o utterance_n before_o the_o people_n that_o i_o have_v be_v as_o if_o have_v not_o know_v or_o remember_v what_o i_o have_v be_v about_o or_o as_o if_o my_o head_n have_v be_v in_o a_o bag_n all_o the_o time_n of_o the_o exercise_n 245._o again_o when_o at_o sometime_o i_o have_v be_v about_o to_o preah_a upon_o some_o smart_n and_o scorch_a portion_n of_o the_o word_n i_o have_v find_v the_o tempter_n suggest_v what!_o will_v you_o preach_v this_o this_o condemn_v yourself_o of_o this_o your_o own_o soul_n be_v guilty_a wherefore_o preach_v not_o of_o it_o at_o all_o or_o if_o you_o do_v yet_o so_o mince_v it_o as_o to_o make_v way_n for_o your_o own_o escape_n â—est_v instead_o of_o awaken_n other_o you_o lay_v that_o guilt_n upon_o your_o own_o soul_n as_o you_o will_v never_o get_v from_o under_z 246._o i_o have_v also_o while_o find_v in_o this_o bless_a work_n of_o christ_n be_v often_o tempt_v to_o pride_n and_o lifting_n up_o of_o heart_n and_o though_o i_o dare_v not_o say_v i_o have_v not_o be_v infect_v with_o this_o yet_o true_o the_o lord_n of_o his_o precious_a mercy_n have_v so_o carry_v it_o towards_o i_o that_o for_o the_o most_o part_n i_o have_v have_v but_o small_a joy_n to_o give_v way_n to_o such_o a_o thing_n for_o it_o have_v be_v my_o every-day_n portion_n to_o be_v let_v into_o the_o evil_n of_o my_o own_o heart_n and_o still_o make_v to_o see_v such_o a_o multitude_n of_o corruption_n and_o infirmity_n therein_o that_o it_o have_v cause_v hang_v down_o of_o the_o head_n under_o all_o my_o gift_n and_o attainment_n i_o have_v feel_v this_o thorn_n in_o the_o flesh_n two_o cor._n 12.8_o 9_o the_o veâ—y_a mercy_n of_o god_n to_o i_o 247._o i_o have_v have_v also_o together_o with_o this_o some_o notable_a place_n or_o other_o of_o the_o word_n present_v before_o i_o which_o word_n haâ—h_v contain_v in_o it_o some_o sharp_a and_o pierce_a sentence_n concern_v the_o perish_v of_o the_o soul_n notwithstanding_o gift_n and_o part_n as_o for_o instance_n that_o have_v be_v of_o great_a use_n unto_o i_o though_o i_o speak_v with_o the_o tongue_n of_o man_n and_o angel_n and_o have_v not_o charity_n i_o be_o become_v as_o sounding-brass_n and_o a_o tinkle_a cymbal_n 1_o cor._n 13.1_o 2._o 248._o a_o tinkle_a cymbal_n be_v a_o instrument_n of_o music_n with_o which_o a_o skilful_a plaâ—er_n can_v make_v such_o melodious_a and_o heart-inflaming_a music_n that_o all_o who_o hear_v he_o play_v can_v scarce_o hold_v from_o dance_v and_o yet_o behold_v the_o cymbal_n have_v not_o life_n neither_o come_v the_o music_n fâ—om_fw-mi it_o but_o because_o of_o the_o art_n of_o he_o that_o playeâ—_n therewith_o so_o than_o the_o instrument_n at_o last_o may_v come_v to_o naught_o and_o perish_v though_o in_o time_n past_o such_o music_n