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death_n elder_a young_a youth_n 44 3 7.5048 4 false
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ID Title Author Corrected Date of Publication (TCP Date of Publication) STC Words Pages
A89408 Medicina Animæ or, the lamentation, and consolation of a sinner. Together with the severall collections out of the Holy Scriptures. By Joshua Mullard. Mullard, Joshua. 1652 (1652) Wing M3065; Thomason E1413_1; ESTC R209420 41,837 160

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medicina_fw-la animae_fw-la or_o the_o lamentation_n and_o consolation_n of_o a_o sinner_n together_o with_o several_a collection_n out_o of_o the_o holy_a scripture_n by_o joshua_n mullard_n i_o say_v i_o will_v confess_v my_o sin_n unto_o the_o lord_n and_o so_o thou_o forgave_v the_o wickedness_n of_o my_o sin_n psa_fw-la 32.6_o london_n print_v by_o tho._n harper_n 1652._o to_o the_o reader_n gentle_a reader_n i_o begin_v some_o part_n of_o this_o penitential_a meditation_n long_o since_o when_o it_o please_v almighty_a god_n to_o give_v i_o a_o sight_n of_o my_o sin_n and_o grace_n to_o hate_v and_o forsake_v they_o it_o may_v seem_v strange_a that_o i_o shall_v make_v a_o public_a confession_n of_o they_o when_o they_o be_v only_o know_v to_o almighty_a god_n and_o myself_o but_o i_o find_v david_n confess_v his_o adultery_n and_o manasses_n his_o idolatry_n and_o s._n paul_n confess_v himself_o to_o be_v the_o great_a of_o sinner_n and_o also_o i_o find_v that_o whosoever_o confess_v his_o sin_n and_o forsake_v they_o shall_v find_v mercy_n i_o must_v confess_v i_o do_v not_o intend_v to_o publish_v they_o but_o that_o i_o be_v press_v by_o many_o of_o my_o friend_n to_o it_o but_o more_o especial_o when_o i_o have_v read_v the_o judgement_n pronounce_v against_o the_o unprofitable_a servant_n that_o hide_v his_o talon_n matth._n 25.30_o i_o think_v it_o more_o safety_n to_o show_v my_o imperfection_n to_o man_n then_o to_o disobey_v my_o redeemer_n and_o to_o lose_v my_o talon_n i_o desire_v thou_o reader_n to_o read_v it_o all_o over_o before_o thou_o censure_v and_o to_o pardon_v the_o imperfection_n thou_o meet_v with_o j._n m._n medicina_fw-la animae_fw-la or_o the_o great_a wound_n cure_v be_v pious_a meditation_n and_o prayer_n on_o the_o lamentation_n and_o consolation_n of_o a_o sinner_n chap._n i._n o_o who_o shall_v give_v water_n to_o my_o head_n and_o a_o fountain_n of_o tear_n to_o my_o eye_n that_o i_o may_v be_v able_a to_o bewail_v the_o loss_n of_o my_o soul_n with_o grief_n agreeable_a thereunto_o for_o there_o be_v a_o manifest_a and_o great_a cause_n of_o sorrow_n when_o with_o the_o sight_n of_o my_o mind_n i_o do_v behold_v my_o ancient_a day_n and_o my_o youthful_a year_n in_o this_o meditation_n my_o spirit_n have_v fail_v i_o for_o i_o know_v what_o i_o be_v nay_o rather_o what_o i_o shall_v have_v be_v and_o understand_v what_o i_o be_o and_o fear_v what_o i_o shall_v be_v and_o the_o less_o i_o sorrow_n so_o much_o more_o do_v i_o fear_v i_o will_v to_o god_n i_o sorrow_v more_o that_o i_o may_v fear_v less_o but_o woe_n to_o i_o o_o lord_n for_o now_o a_o long_a time_n thou_o smite_v and_o yet_o i_o sorrow_n not_o thou_o call_v i_o and_o yet_o i_o hear_v not_o thou_o knocke_v and_o yet_o i_o open_v not_o the_o bar_n of_o my_o hard_a heart_n unto_o thou_o the_o sorrow_n of_o death_n compass_v i_o round_o about_o and_o be_v fill_v with_o many_o sorrow_n without_o i_o feel_v inward_o no_o sorrow_n that_o may_v work_v unto_o salvation_n and_o i_o feel_v not_o only_a sorrow_n of_o old_a age_n but_o i_o be_o a_o man_n of_o sorrow_n from_o my_o youth_n upward_o and_o all_o my_o day_n be_v full_a of_o travel_n and_o grief_n and_o yet_o i_o sorrow_n because_o that_o always_o sorrow_v i_o can_v sorrow_n as_o i_o ought_v to_o sorrow_n o_o marvellous_a and_o unspeakable_a wisdom_n of_o the_o heavenly_a physician_n o_o wonderful_a goodness_n of_o the_o most_o merciful_a god_n o_o singular_a benefit_n of_o he_o that_o be_v the_o giver_n of_o all_o good_a thing_n for_o thou_o o_o lord_n give_v unto_o i_o sorrow_n lest_o i_o shall_v parish_n in_o pleasure_n and_o that_o i_o may_v learn_v to_o rejoice_v without_o offence_n thou_o give_v i_o sorrow_n for_o a_o time_n that_o i_o may_v not_o suffer_v everlasting_a pain_n thou_o afflict_a my_o body_n that_o thou_o may_v save_v my_o soul_n thou_o scourge_v that_o thou_o may_v heal_v thou_o kill_v that_o thou_o may_v quicken_v but_o alas_o how_o unwilling_o do_v i_o receive_v thy_o salve_n out_o of_o the_o secret_a hand_n of_o thy_o mercy_n and_o be_v ignorant_a do_v not_o acknowledge_v the_o sovereign_a medicine_n of_o healthful_a sorrow_n wherein_o thou_o be_v merciful_o severe_a against_o i_o and_o how_o do_v i_o acknowledge_v it_o if_o earnest_o i_o desire_v to_o be_v deliver_v from_o sorrow_n who_o without_o sorrow_n can_v be_v heal_v for_o how_o can_v he_o be_v heal_v without_o sorrow_n who_o by_o delight_n be_v make_v sick_a therefore_o o_o lord_n make_v i_o to_o sorrow_n and_o teach_v i_o a_o save_a sorrow_n that_o my_o grief_n may_v be_v turn_v into_o joy_n and_o that_o i_o may_v rejoice_v in_o thy_o salvation_n chap._n ii_o day_n pass_v away_o and_o year_n slide_v away_o but_o i_o unhappy_a man_n after_o so_o many_o corruption_n of_o my_o soul_n after_o so_o most_o grievous_a and_o long_a folly_n do_v not_o yet_o repent_v nor_o be_o not_o afflict_v for_o my_o sin_n but_o continue_v the_o often_o fall_v into_o they_o again_o and_o care_v not_o for_o rise_v from_o heap_v new_a unto_o old_a and_o great_a unto_o less_o what_o shall_v i_o do_v o_o lord_n or_o whither_o shall_v i_o go_v when_o my_o last_o time_n shall_v come_v where_o shall_v i_o be_v hide_v from_o thy_o wrathful_a countenance_n or_o whither_o shall_v i_o fly_v away_o from_o thy_o face_n when_o thou_o shall_v call_v i_o unto_o judgement_n and_o require_v of_o i_o a_o account_n of_o the_o talon_n bestow_v upon_o i_o what_o shall_v i_o answer_v unto_o thou_o or_o how_o shall_v i_o excuse_v my_o negligence_n when_o thou_o shall_v sit_v upon_o thy_o throne_n of_o majesty_n and_o command_v i_o to_o give_v a_o account_n of_o my_o stewardship_n to_o the_o uttermost_a farthing_n sure_o i_o have_v nothing_o to_o say_v but_o lord_n i_o beseech_v thou_o to_o answer_v for_o i_o for_o who_o be_o i_o that_o i_o shall_v answer_v to_o thou_o in_o judgement_n but_o if_o thou_o compel_v i_o to_o answer_v i_o will_v say_v as_o a_o man_n confound_v tremble_a and_o fear_v o_o lord_n i_o have_v gain_v nothing_o thereupon_o but_o have_v wicked_o and_o vain_o misspend_v and_o consume_v thy_o talon_n by_o my_o base_a live_n i_o shall_v better_o have_v say_v by_o die_v but_o then_o i_o think_v i_o live_v but_o i_o be_v dead_a because_o i_o live_v without_o thou_o my_o true_a life_n yea_o the_o life_n of_o a_o wicked_a man_n may_v rather_o be_v call_v death_n then_o life_n i_o may_v say_v i_o soon_o begin_v to_o die_v then_o live_v first_o i_o do_v not_o understand_v what_o life_n be_v when_o i_o have_v forsake_v the_o life_n of_o life_n and_o fountain_n of_o life_n and_o malice_n do_v supplant_v my_o young_a age_n in_o manifold_a wickedness_n i_o be_v scarce_o come_v out_o of_o my_o mother_n womb_n but_o i_o be_v already_o a_o sinner_n come_v into_o the_o world_n be_v yet_o ignorant_a of_o sin_n i_o do_v bewail_v the_o sin_n wherein_o my_o parent_n beget_v i_o neither_o do_v i_o altogether_o leave_v bewail_v other_o sin_n when_o i_o commit_v my_o own_o which_o i_o know_v and_o do_v not_o bewail_v be_v a_o infant_n i_o follow_v iniquity_n and_o spend_v my_o childhood_n wherein_o i_o shall_v have_v be_v pure_a impure_o there_o breathe_v slimy_a vapour_n from_o the_o sinful_a corruption_n of_o my_o flesh_n and_o the_o spring_n of_o my_o youth_n do_v shadow_v my_o heart_n that_o it_o can_v not_o discern_v light_n from_o darkness_n and_o the_o clearness_n of_o the_o mind_n from_o the_o mist_n of_o lust_n and_o traitorous_a and_o crafty_a pleasure_n do_v carry_v my_o weak_a and_o forgetful_a loose_a age_n into_o the_o headlong_a rock_n of_o lust_n so_o as_o i_o boil_a up_o in_o wicked_a desire_n to_o be_v satisfy_v in_o hell_n from_o my_o childhood_n i_o grow_v to_o grow_a year_n neither_o be_v i_o soon_o grow_v towards_o youth_n than_o my_o wickedness_n do_v grow_v ripe_a and_o i_o be_v bold_a to_o grow_v wild_a in_o divers_a inordinate_a lust_n by_o the_o which_o be_v draw_v by_o the_o grief_n of_o wickedness_n i_o be_v drown_v to_o death_n and_o destruction_n the_o evil_a and_o wicked_a day_n of_o my_o grow_a year_n pass_v on_o and_o i_o grow_v towards_o youth_n but_o i_o return_v backward_o in_o filthiness_n and_o vanity_n and_o as_o i_o be_v elder_a i_o be_v a_o young_a man_n and_o come_v to_o be_v a_o man_n but_o vice_n always_o flourish_v in_o i_o instead_o of_o virtue_n i_o wax_v old_a and_o grey_a and_o do_v not_o walk_v in_o thy_o way_n but_o as_o a_o child_n be_v now_o a_o old_a man_n i_o live_v childish_o where_o then_o at_o any_o time_n have_v i_o be_v innocent_a that_o i_o shall_v be_v judge_v of_o thou_o according_a to_o the_o time_n of_o my_o
innocency_n though_o thou_o do_v appoint_v it_o i_o unto_o judgement_n for_o thou_o be_v just_a o_o lord_n and_o righteous_a in_o all_o thy_o judgement_n for_o thou_o rendre_v to_o every_o one_o according_a to_o his_o work_n and_o i_o fear_v all_o mine_n because_o they_o be_v the_o work_n of_o darkness_n and_o i_o have_v be_v a_o worker_n of_o iniquity_n from_o the_o beginning_n and_o have_v always_o willing_o follow_v the_o work_n and_o path_n of_o unrighteousness_n i_o have_v wallow_v in_o sin_n as_o the_o swine_n in_o filthiness_n and_o as_o the_o prodigal_n be_v feed_v with_o husk_n so_o be_v i_o delight_v with_o filthy_a and_o evil_a word_n and_o grieve_v with_o earnest_n and_o profitable_a say_n i_o do_v communicate_v with_o those_o that_o wrought_v iniquity_n and_o do_v banquet_n with_o the_o chief_a of_o they_o and_o do_v glory_n in_o sin_n be_v mighty_a in_o iniquity_n i_o love_v to_o excuse_v and_o can_v not_o accuse_v myself_o and_o make_v heavy_a my_o heart_n and_o the_o more_o incurable_a be_v my_o sin_n for_o that_o i_o do_v not_o think_v myself_o to_o be_v a_o sinner_n neither_o do_v i_o not_o only_o seek_v a_o medicine_n for_o my_o soul_n which_o be_v sick_a unto_o death_n but_o refuse_v it_o be_v offer_v yea_o with_o a_o unreverent_a and_o untamed_a mind_n be_v wroth_a against_o they_o that_o will_v minister_v it_o unto_o i_o i_o despise_v they_o that_o reprove_v i_o and_o embrace_v they_o that_o speak_v please_v unto_o i_o and_o delight_v in_o their_o speech_n that_o have_v not_o their_o heart_n right_a unto_o i_o i_o study_v device_n and_o lie_v in_o all_o thing_n and_o love_v rather_o darkness_n then_o light_a behold_v o_o lord_n i_o have_v deliver_v myself_o unto_o thou_o this_o be_v the_o course_n of_o my_o life_n wherein_o i_o have_v deserve_v thy_o wrath_n this_o will_v i_o answer_v unto_o thou_o when_o thou_o shall_v ask_v of_o i_o but_o do_v not_o remember_v the_o offence_n of_o my_o youth_n nor_o my_o ignorances_n o_fw-fr lord_n and_o enter_v not_o into_o judgement_n with_o thy_o servant_n for_o no_o live_a creature_n shall_v be_v justify_v in_o thy_o sight_n but_o if_o thou_o will_v enter_v because_o thou_o be_v a_o god_n that_o love_v judgement_n do_v judgement_n unto_o i_o but_o not_o justice_n and_o judge_v i_o according_a to_o the_o judgement_n of_o those_o that_o love_v thy_o name_n that_o i_o may_v sing_v unto_o thou_o mercy_n and_o judgement_n remember_v o_o lord_n that_o though_o i_o be_o wicked_a yet_o i_o be_o thy_o servant_n and_o the_o son_n of_o thy_o handmaid_n and_o do_v not_o look_v into_o the_o multitude_n of_o my_o sin_n but_o unto_o the_o greatness_n of_o thy_o mercy_n and_o when_o thou_o shall_v be_v angry_a with_o i_o for_o my_o wickedness_n remember_v thy_o mercy_n and_o be_v not_o angry_a with_o i_o for_o ever_o but_o have_v mercy_n upon_o thy_o afflict_a servant_n that_o my_o soul_n may_v praise_v thou_o and_o confess_v thy_o mercifulness_n chap._n iii_o woe_n unto_o i_o wretched_a man_n because_o i_o have_v make_v my_o redeemer_n angry_a with_o i_o and_o i_o have_v rebellious_o neglect_v his_o law_n and_o i_o have_v willing_o forsake_v the_o right_a way_n and_o as_o a_o sheep_n that_o refuse_v the_o shepherd_n i_o have_v be_v carry_v far_o and_o wide_o round_o about_o through_o dry_a unwatered_a place_n wander_v in_o the_o wilderness_n of_o wickedness_n and_o not_o in_o the_o right_a way_n i_o have_v go_v to_o all_o rough_a and_o unaccessible_a place_n and_o every_o where_o be_v anguish_n and_o tribulation_n i_o have_v be_v weary_v in_o the_o way_n of_o iniquity_n and_o perdition_n and_o have_v walk_v in_o hard_a way_n seek_v rest_n and_o find_v none_o because_o i_o do_v not_o seek_v thou_o o_o lord_n but_o be_v in_o a_o barren_a land_n in_o the_o country_n of_o death_n where_o be_v no_o rest_n but_o continual_a labour_n &_o affliction_n of_o spirit_n dwell_v there_o i_o dwell_v in_o anguish_n with_o pleasure_n and_o among_o thorn_n do_v i_o make_v my_o bed_n and_o sleep_v in_o death_n and_o hope_v for_o rest_n in_o torment_n now_o therefore_o what_o shall_v i_o do_v whither_o shall_v i_o turn_v myself_o in_o these_o great_a danger_n all_o the_o hope_n of_o my_o youth_n be_v fall_v down_o and_o i_o be_o like_a one_o that_o suffer_v shipwreck_n who_o have_v lose_v all_o his_o wealth_n swim_v away_o naked_a be_v toss_v with_o the_o wind_n and_o sea_n and_o be_o drive_v far_o from_o the_o haven_n of_o happiness_n and_o do_v not_o take_v hold_n of_o the_o way_n of_o salvation_n but_o be_o carry_v away_o on_o the_o left_a hand_n the_o enemy_n have_v place_v net_n for_o i_o which_o way_n soever_o i_o go_v and_o snare_n for_o my_o foot_n and_o i_o despise_v they_o and_o walk_v secure_o in_o slippery_a place_n and_o flatter_v myself_o in_o sin_n i_o think_v youth_n be_v not_o hold_v by_o the_o law_n of_o death_n and_o be_v deceive_v by_o this_o confidence_n i_o follow_v the_o filthy_a desire_n of_o the_o flesh_n and_o give_v the_o reins_n beyond_o the_o measure_n of_o sensuality_n follow_v it_o wheresoever_o the_o force_n thereof_o do_v carry_v i_o and_o say_v like_o a_o fool_n in_o my_o heart_n wherefore_o do_v thou_o think_v of_o the_o end_n before_o the_o middle_a thou_o have_v many_o day_n yet_o remain_v and_o may_v be_v convert_v when_o thou_o list_v so_o wax_v i_o old_a in_o sin_n and_o a_o most_o wicked_a custom_n be_v turn_v into_o nature_n and_o now_o as_o a_o bondslave_n to_o sin_n i_o serve_v as_o it_o be_v chain_v and_o as_o a_o mad_a man_n hale_v his_o own_o flesh_n seek_v to_o hurt_v himself_o all_o reason_n of_o deliberation_n be_v quench_v so_o i_o more_o grievous_o and_o dangerous_o have_v hate_v my_o own_o soul_n for_o the_o impenitency_n of_o my_o heart_n and_o obstinate_a wilfulness_n have_v lay_v violent_a hand_n upon_o i_o and_o have_v distract_v and_o disturb_v my_o poor_a distress_a soul_n and_o so_o have_v bring_v unto_o myself_o the_o horror_n of_o hell_n every_o day_n more_o and_o more_o according_a to_o the_o hardness_n of_o my_o impenitent_a heart_n i_o do_v heap_n up_o wrath_n against_o the_o day_n of_o wrath_n i_o have_v make_v trial_n sometime_o to_o shake_v off_o the_o old_a yoke_n but_o be_o not_o able_a because_o it_o cleave_v to_o my_o bone_n oh_o that_o at_o length_n it_o may_v fall_v from_o my_o neck_n that_o i_o may_v love_v thou_o though_o late_o it_o shall_v sure_o fall_v away_o if_o thou_o command_v o_o lord_n and_o send_v i_o help_v from_o above_o i_o confess_v i_o have_v not_o deserve_v it_o but_o thou_o o_o most_o gracious_a giver_n who_o make_v the_o sun_n to_o rise_v indifferent_o upon_o the_o good_a as_o also_o upon_o the_o bad_a and_o grant_v temporal_a blessing_n to_o the_o unworthy_a even_o when_o they_o ask_v they_o not_o how_o can_v thou_o deny_v spiritual_a thing_n to_o those_o that_o require_v they_o have_v mercy_n upon_o i_o therefore_o o_o lord_n and_o fulfil_v the_o desire_n of_o a_o poor_a penitent_a sinner_n thou_o that_o be_v rich_a in_o mercy_n and_o wont_a cheerful_o to_o have_v mercy_n and_o do_v purge_v the_o will_n from_o evil_a custom_n and_o hear_v the_o groan_n of_o those_o that_o be_v bind_v and_o lose_v we_o from_o the_o bond_n which_o we_o have_v make_v to_o ourselves_o unless_o we_o refuse_v thy_o mercy_n give_v thy_o right_a hand_n unto_o the_o work_n of_o thy_o hand_n that_o when_o i_o fall_v i_o may_v not_o be_v bruise_v and_o that_o i_o may_v not_o be_v draw_v into_o the_o deep_a pit_n of_o perdition_n deliver_v i_o from_o the_o mouth_n of_o the_o cruel_a lion_n that_o be_v ready_a for_o the_o prey_n and_o gape_v for_o my_o soul_n that_o he_o may_v devour_v it_o for_o thou_o only_o be_v my_o protector_n and_o my_o deliverer_n and_o in_o thy_o mercy_n be_v my_o hope_n let_v thy_o mercy_n therefore_o be_v show_v unto_o i_o as_o i_o have_v trust_v in_o thou_o lord_n in_o thou_o do_v i_o put_v my_o whole_a trust_n and_o confidence_n lord_n let_v i_o never_o be_v confound_v chap._n iu._n my_o night_n pass_v away_o in_o grief_n and_o vex_v i_o with_o innumerable_a terror_n my_o conscience_n shake_v i_o while_o i_o be_o awake_a and_o i_o be_o torment_v therewith_o as_o if_o i_o be_v wound_v with_o a_o two_o edge_a sword_n my_o sleep_n be_v trouble_v with_o divers_a illusion_n bring_v i_o no_o rest_n but_o travel_n i_o watch_v all_o night_n in_o my_o thought_n and_o when_o as_o be_v weary_v i_o do_v endeavour_n to_o give_v some_o sleep_n to_o my_o eyelid_n by_o and_o by_o sleep_n depart_v from_o my_o eye_n and_o when_o i_o sleep_v i_o sleep_v always_o in_o sorrow_n be_v waken_v with_o a_o unquiet_a weariness_n from_o the_o care_n of_o the_o day_n and_o all_o