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death_n body_n see_v soul_n 14,522 5 5.2397 4 true
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ID Title Author Corrected Date of Publication (TCP Date of Publication) STC Words Pages
A96371 A method and instructions for the art of divine meditation, with instances of the severall kindes of solemne meditation. / By Thomas White minister of Gods word in London. White, Thomas, Presbyterian minister in London. 1655 (1655) Wing W1847B; Thomason E1700_1; ESTC R209375 88,694 345

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to_o get_v as_o much_o time_n from_o sleep_n as_o the_o health_n and_o strength_n of_o my_o body_n will_v permit_v and_o because_o i_o be_o confident_a that_o if_o the_o damn_a be_v in_o their_o nature_n change_v and_o be_v to_o live_v again_o on_o earth_n they_o will_v think_v it_o a_o bless_a change_n to_o change_v their_o howl_n into_o sing_n of_o psalm_n and_o their_o roar_n into_o prayer_n nay_o if_o they_o be_v to_o live_v methuselahs_n age_n upon_o the_o rack_n therefore_o whensoever_o i_o be_o at_o any_o time_n tempt_v to_o be_v weary_a of_o this_o labour_n of_o love_n that_o be_v to_o be_v undertake_v in_o the_o hard_a duty_n of_o religion_n i_o will_v endeavour_v to_o shame_v myself_o out_o of_o that_o temptation_n by_o think_v thus_o with_o myself_o that_o hell_n be_v so_o much_o worse_a than_o we_o can_v suffer_v in_o this_o world_n either_o in_o god_n service_n or_o for_o god_n service_n that_o it_o be_v not_o only_o a_o desperate_a wickedness_n but_o madness_n for_o the_o avoid_n of_o the_o one_o to_o fall_v into_o the_o other_o for_o the_o conclusion_n of_o this_o meditation_n observe_v the_o direction_n and_o instance_n of_o former_a meditation_n meditat_fw-la vii_o of_o heaven_n 1._o be_v convince_v of_o and_o affect_v with_o the_o presence_n of_o god_n 2._o pray_v to_o god_n to_o assist_v and_o enable_v thou_o in_o the_o work_n consideration_n 1._o consider_v o_o my_o soul_n the_o wonderful_a greatness_n and_o incomprehensibleness_n of_o those_o joy_n for_o 1._o consider_v what_o great_a thing_n god_n have_v give_v to_o wicked_a man_n in_o this_o work_n what_o vast_a dominion_n power_n wisdom_n learning_n majesty_n and_o indeed_o as_o to_o the_o thing_n of_o the_o world_n as_o much_o as_o their_o heart_n can_v desire_v if_o god_n give_v such_o thing_n to_o dog_n and_o swine_n what_o may_v we_o think_v be_v the_o dainty_n of_o that_o banquet_n which_o god_n feast_v his_o child_n withal_o 2._o behold_v the_o earth_n and_o the_o heaven_n in_o the_o height_n of_o the_o beauty_n of_o the_o spring_n and_o in_o the_o strength_n of_o the_o glory_n of_o the_o sun_n how_o delightful_a a_o sight_n be_v it_o to_o behold_v the_o work_n of_o god_n creation_n here_o below_o the_o commonness_n of_o this_o sight_n much_o abate_v the_o delight_n and_o wonder_n of_o it_o but_o doubtless_o if_o a_o man_n that_o be_v bear_v blind_a shall_v when_o he_o have_v attain_v to_o the_o full_a perfection_n of_o his_o age_n and_o understanding_n be_v place_v in_o a_o paradise_n as_o adam_n be_v and_o shall_v see_v as_o soon_o as_o his_o eye_n be_v open_v the_o earth_n adorn_v with_o all_o manner_n of_o curious_a flower_n and_o tree_n lade_v with_o all_o manner_n of_o fruit_n and_o the_o sun_n shine_v in_o its_o full_a strength_n how_o wonderful_o delightful_a will_v such_o a_o sight_n be_v and_o if_o the_o footstool_n of_o god_n be_v so_o rich_a how_o glorious_a be_v his_o throne_n 3._o consider_v the_o wonderful_a manifestation_n and_o joy_n that_o god_n have_v bestow_v upon_o his_o people_n in_o this_o life_n they_o be_v unspeakable_a and_o glorious_a some_o have_v cry_v out_o lord_n either_o withhold_v thy_o comfort_n or_o enlarge_v the_o vessel_n for_o i_o be_o not_o able_a to_o bear_v my_o joy_n we_o read_v of_o daniel_n that_o the_o manifestation_n that_o god_n give_v he_o drink_v up_o his_o spirit_n and_o make_v he_o sick_a some_o day_n after_o dan._n 8.27_o such_o joy_n have_v be_v so_o great_a that_o they_o have_v sweeten_v the_o bitter_a persecution_n they_o have_v make_v they_o clap_v their_o hand_n for_o joy_n in_o the_o midst_n of_o flame_n and_o cry_v out_o in_o the_o ravishment_n of_o their_o spirit_n o_o you_o papist_n you_o talk_v of_o miracle_n but_o here_o be_v a_o miracle_n i_o be_o in_o the_o midst_n of_o these_o flame_n as_o in_o a_o bed_n of_o rose_n but_o alas_o what_o be_v the_o joy_n that_o god_n communicate_v to_o his_o people_n in_o this_o life_n they_o be_v but_o as_o the_o drop_n of_o the_o bucket_n to_o 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greatness_n what_o do_v king_n do_v in_o such_o case_n that_o which_o be_v account_v a_o feast_n among_o among_o poor_a people_n be_v a_o rich_a man_n fast_n if_o the_o strength_n of_o this_o consideration_n be_v draw_v forth_o it_o will_v wonderful_o affect_v we_o 2._o consider_v wherein_o these_o joy_n consist_v for_o the_o negative_a part_n of_o they_o there_o will_v be_v no_o sickness_n no_o pain_n no_o death_n no_o temporal_a misery_n or_o imperfection_n nay_o there_o shall_v be_v no_o sin_n no_o temptation_n nor_o corruption_n no_o desertion_n no_o imperfection_n of_o grace_n or_o duty_n or_o comfort_n what_o will_v a_o poor_a soul_n give_v to_o be_v deliver_v from_o this_o body_n of_o sin_n and_o death_n there_o we_o shall_v see_v god_n clear_o full_o everlasting_o there_o our_o enjoyment_n shall_v be_v incomprehensible_a our_o union_n wonderful_a and_o inseparable_a and_o all_o shall_v be_v eternal_a what_o a_o world_n of_o difference_n be_v there_o betwixt_o a_o dead_a 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with_o their_o eye_n nor_o have_v any_o understand_v save_v only_o thou_o o_o god_n what_o thou_o have_v prepare_v for_o they_o that_o love_v thou_o how_o have_v thou_o commend_v thy_o love_n to_o we_o that_o we_o be_v thy_o son_n but_o it_o do_v not_o yet_o appear_v what_o we_o shall_v be_v o_o the_o length_n and_o breadth_n and_o height_n and_o depth_n of_o thy_o love_n that_o can_v be_v know_v lord_n what_o be_v our_o duty_n or_o what_o be_v our_o person_n that_o thou_o shall_v so_o high_o reward_v they_o and_o we_o our_o best_a righteousness_n be_v as_o filthy_a rag_n and_o for_o we_o we_o be_v worm_n nay_o a_o generation_n of_o viper_n be_v it_o not_o enough_o that_o thou_o do_v not_o shake_v we_o off_o from_o thy_o hand_n of_o providence_n into_o hell_n fire_n but_o that_o thou_o shall_v lay_v such_o viper_n in_o thy_o bosom_n and_o warm_v we_o with_o thy_o love_n be_v it_o not_o enough_o for_o thou_o to_o forgive_v we_o our_o rebellion_n but_o that_o thou_o shall_v give_v we_o such_o blessing_n be_v it_o not_o a_o miracle_n of_o bounty_n and_o goodness_n for_o thou_o to_o bid_v we_o serious_o to_o consult_v and_o think_v what_o to_o ask_v of_o thou_o and_o thou_o will_v give_v it_o we_o though_o it_o be_v to_o the_o half_a of_o thy_o kingdom_n but_o that_o thou_o shall_v set_v thy_o wisdom_n on_o work_n in_o prepare_v and_o thy_o liberality_n in_o bestow_v such_o incomprehensible_a reward_n that_o we_o can_v neither_o ask_v nor_o think_v but_o as_o far_o as_o the_o heaven_n be_v above_o the_o earth_n so_o be_v thy_o thought_n of_o love_n above_o our_o thought_n for_o thou_o to_o give_v thy_o kingdom_n thy_o christ_n thyself_o these_o be_v act_n of_o goodness_n that_o be_v infinite_o above_o
so_o general_o neglect_v by_o the_o peo-ple_a of_o god_n ans_fw-fr it_o have_v be_v practise_v by_o the_o people_n of_o god_n both_o in_o scripture_n as_o be_v prove_v and_o it_o be_v evident_a that_o the_o psalm_n of_o david_n be_v frequent_o nothing_o but_o meditation_n though_o not_o in_o this_o method_n and_o by_o many_o in_o our_o day_n 2._o it_o be_v a_o private_a closet-duty_n the_o omission_n nor_o performance_n of_o it_o can_v be_v take_v notice_n of_o and_o so_o the_o omission_n of_o it_o can_v not_o be_v reprove_v nor_o performance_n observe_v 3._o the_o direction_n and_o instruction_n for_o meditation_n have_v be_v general_o very_o abstruse_a and_o intricate_a chap._n iii_o preparatory_a direction_n concern_v some_o circumstance_n belong_v to_o meditation_n 1._o for_o the_o place_n that_o must_v be_v private_a remote_a from_o company_n and_o noise_n isaac_n go_v into_o the_o field_n our_o saviour_n into_o a_o garden_n and_o david_n wish_v we_o to_o enter_v into_o our_o chamber_n and_o be_v still_o psa_fw-la 4.4_o and_o our_o saviour_n bid_v we_o enter_v into_o our_o closet_n and_o shut_v the_o door_n the_o place_n must_v be_v such_o as_o must_v be_v remote_a from_o noise_n and_o company_n or_o any_o thing_n which_o may_v distract_v we_o in_o the_o duty_n and_o such_o a_o place_n that_o we_o may_v not_o be_v interrupt_v or_o force_v to_o break_v off_o before_o the_o duty_n be_v end_v it_o must_v be_v also_o private_a and_o remote_a from_o the_o observation_n of_o other_o so_o that_o we_o may_v neither_o be_v hear_v nor_o see_v because_o there_o be_v divers_a gesture_n and_o expression_n which_o be_v not_o convenient_a for_o any_o one_o but_o god_n and_o once_o own_o soul_n to_o be_v privy_a to_o which_o of_o those_o place_n you_o find_v to_o be_v most_o advantageous_a to_o you_o in_o the_o matter_n of_o meditation_n you_o may_v choose_v 2._o for_o the_o time_n when_o the_o best_a be_v in_o the_o morning_n 1._o because_o it_o be_v the_o first-fruit_n of_o the_o day_n and_o the_o first-fruit_n be_v holy_a all_o the_o rest_n be_v sanctify_v 2._o because_o our_o thought_n be_v then_o not_o soil_v with_o worldly_a business_n will_v not_o be_v so_o subject_a to_o be_v distract_v 3._o because_o the_o body_n itself_o be_v more_o serene_a then_o after_o meal_n and_o this_o duty_n need_v a_o empty_a stomach_n not_o only_o because_o the_o head_n will_v be_v more_o clear_a and_o fit_a for_o meditation_n but_o also_o because_o many_o passage_n of_o meditation_n require_v so_o much_o intention_n of_o the_o mind_n and_o fervency_n of_o affection_n that_o they_o do_v hinder_v digestion_n 4._o because_o that_o it_o be_v in_o the_o morning_n will_v have_v a_o influence_n upon_o the_o whole_a day_n but_o this_o be_v not_o a_o universal_a rule_n for_o we_o read_v that_o isaac_n go_v forth_o in_o the_o evening_n to_o meditate_v gen._n 24.63_o and_o in_o case_n the_o subject_n of_o your_o meditation_n be_v a_o sermon_n then_o if_o it_o may_v be_v the_o best_a time_n be_v immediate_o after_o the_o hear_n of_o it_o before_o your_o affection_n cool_v or_o your_o memory_n fail_v you_o 2._o for_o the_o how_o long_o consider_v the_o part_n of_o meditation_n be_v so_o many_o viz._n preparation_n consideration_n affection_n resolution_n etc._n etc._n and_o none_o of_o they_o be_v to_o be_v pass_v slight_o over_o for_o affection_n be_v not_o quick_o raise_v nor_o be_v we_o to_o cease_v blow_v the_o fire_n as_o soon_o as_o ever_o it_o begin_v to_o flame_n until_o it_o be_v well_o kindle_v half_o a_o hour_n may_v be_v think_v to_o be_v the_o least_o for_o beginner_n and_o a_o hour_n for_o those_o that_o be_v verse_v in_o this_o duty_n but_o there_o be_v two_o rule_n in_o this_o particular_a especial_o to_o be_v observe_v 1._o that_o as_o we_o ought_v not_o to_o leave_v off_o our_o prayer_n before_o that_o temper_n and_o frame_v of_o heart_n be_v wrought_v which_o be_v suitable_a to_o the_o matter_n of_o our_o prayer_n viz._n we_o shall_v not_o leave_v off_o the_o confession_n of_o sin_n till_o our_o heart_n be_v make_v sensible_a of_o and_o humble_a for_o our_o sin_n nor_o shall_v we_o leave_v off_o our_o praise_n until_o our_o heart_n be_v fill_v with_o holy_a admiring_n and_o adore_n of_o god_n and_o inflame_v with_o his_o love_n so_o the_o end_n of_o meditation_n be_v affection_n and_o resolution_n we_o shall_v not_o leave_v off_o until_o those_o be_v wrought_v 2._o as_o in_o private_a prayer_n so_o long_o as_o we_o find_v our_o heart_n enlarge_v by_o the_o pouring_n of_o the_o spirit_n of_o supplication_n upon_o we_o we_o be_v not_o to_o leave_v off_o unless_o by_o our_o continuance_n in_o that_o duty_n we_o must_v omit_v another_o duty_n to_o which_o we_o be_v more_o particular_o oblige_v at_o that_o time_n so_o in_o meditation_n as_o long_o as_o we_o find_v the_o heart_n affect_v we_o be_v to_o continue_v it_o but_o this_o caution_n must_v be_v give_v that_o in_o such_o enlargement_n we_o must_v not_o continue_v they_o 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the_o body_n of_o the_o duty_n 3._o for_o the_o conclusion_n two_o thing_n by_o way_n of_o preparation_n beside_o the_o choice_n of_o the_o subject_a the_o first_o be_v to_o be_v convince_v of_o and_o to_o be_v affect_v with_o the_o presence_n of_o god_n the_o second_o be_v prayer_n for_o assistance_n from_o god_n 2._o for_o the_o body_n of_o meditation_n itself_o it_o consist_v of_o three_o part_n the_o first_o i_o call_v consideration_n which_o be_v nothing_o but_o the_o convince_a our_o heart_n of_o several_a truth_n that_o belong_v to_o that_o subject_a whereof_o we_o meditate_v as_o as_o if_o the_o subject_n of_o our_o meditation_n be_v death_n the_o consideration_n may_v go_v thus_o alas_o o_o my_o soul_n how_o and_o when_o and_o where_o we_o shall_v die_v we_o know_v not_o general_o man_n die_v soon_o than_o they_o expect_v and_o certain_a it_o be_v whensoever_o that_o hour_n come_v we_o must_v bid_v adieu_o to_o honour_n pleasure_n riches_n friend_n and_o at_o last_o our_o own_o body_n etc._n etc._n the_o second_o part_n be_v affection_n whether_o it_o be_v love_n of_o god_n or_o christ_n or_o spiritual_a thing_n despise_v of_o the_o world_n admire_v of_o god_n or_o any_o other_o spiritual_a affection_n the_o three_o part_n be_v resolution_n to_o do_v this_o or_o that_o or_o leave_v this_o or_o that_o now_o that_o this_o be_v the_o most_o proper_a and_o genuine_a way_n of_o meditation_n appear_v by_o this_o 1._o because_o it_o be_v not_o artificial_a and_o such_o as_o require_v learning_n as_o those_o direction_n be_v which_o wish_v we_o to_o consider_v the_o efficient_a final_a formal_a material_a cause_n of_o death_n the_o adjunct_n concomitant_n etc._n etc._n which_o though_o they_o may_v somewhat_o help_v the_o learned_a yet_o such_o hard_a word_n and_o artificial_a
i_o and_o lie_v in_o my_o bosom_n and_o rise_v in_o the_o morning_n more_o strong_a then_o at_o night_n ah_o when_o my_o former_a holy_a life_n shall_v be_v more_o terrible_a than_o other_o wicked_a life_n when_o my_o former_a prayer_n shall_v be_v like_o the_o gall_n of_o asp_n unto_o i_o when_o those_o duty_n which_o shall_v be_v my_o comfort_n be_v my_o terror_n alas_o what_o can_v my_o poor_a soul_n do_v when_o my_o present_a sin_n and_o my_o past_a duty_n which_o of_o they_o be_v the_o heavy_a burden_n unto_o i_o i_o do_v not_o know_v what_o shall_v i_o do_v when_o i_o consider_v these_o thing_n than_o the_o thought_n of_o the_o affliction_n that_o lie_v upon_o i_o make_v i_o weep_v a_o tear_n or_o two_o and_o my_o vain_a heart_n my_o deceitful_a heart_n will_v persuade_v i_o that_o i_o weep_v for_o my_o sin_n those_o in_o desertion_n be_v in_o a_o bless_a condition_n to_o i_o they_o be_v sad_a and_o i_o be_o miserable_a i_o be_o guilty_a of_o that_o which_o their_o conscience_n do_v but_o accuse_v they_o of_o alas_o have_v i_o lose_v my_o communion_n with_o god_n my_o sweet_a communion_n and_o the_o power_n i_o have_v to_o prevail_v with_o he_o for_o any_o mercy_n almost_o that_o i_o pray_v for_o now_o i_o can_v pray_v and_o pray_v and_o pray_v and_o go_v away_o without_o a_o blessing_n i_o can_v almost_o be_v content_a to_o be_v wicked_a thou_o know_v my_o heart_n or_o else_o my_o tear_n will_v deceive_v thou_o as_o well_o as_o i_o if_o they_o be_v worldly_a thought_n that_o have_v estrange_v i_o from_o thou_o thou_o know_v how_o to_o cure_v i_o if_o my_o utter_a impoverishing_n will_v cure_v i_o let_v i_o be_v as_o poor_a as_o job_n if_o thou_o be_v not_o such_o a_o physician_n as_o thou_o be_v i_o be_v past_o thy_o cure_n meditat._n iii_o lord_n i_o be_o come_v now_o to_o pour_v out_o my_o soul_n before_o thou_o and_o my_o tear_n into_o thy_o bosom_n to_o tell_v thou_o the_o sad_a thought_n and_o sorrow_n of_o my_o heart_n ah_o my_o god_n in_o this_o bitterness_n of_o my_o soul_n and_o with_o tear_n in_o my_o eye_n and_o pride_n in_o my_o heart_n and_o sencelesnesse_n upon_o my_o spirit_n i_o speak_v these_o thing_n ah_o lord_n thou_o have_v scourge_v i_o with_o scorpion_n for_o my_o sin_n do_v increase_v as_o well_o as_o my_o affliction_n these_o affliction_n to_o i_o be_v scorpion_n to_o i_o they_o have_v poison_n in_o they_o and_o at_o once_o i_o be_o scourge_v and_o sting_v with_o they_o a_o sad_a ease_n it_o be_v when_o my_o punishment_n be_v heavy_a than_o i_o can_v bear_v and_o yet_o notwithstanding_o i_o go_v from_o the_o presence_n of_o god_n too_o and_o that_o more_o and_o more_o my_o tear_n dry_v up_o in_o my_o eye_n and_o my_o love_n go_v out_o of_o my_o heart_n as_o soon_o as_o kindle_v when_o the_o candle_n of_o the_o lord_n shine_v upon_o my_o tabernacle_n in_o my_o first_o conversion_n when_o the_o fire_n of_o thy_o love_n be_v kindle_v in_o my_o heart_n i_o have_v have_v some_o discourse_n of_o devotion_n that_o i_o be_v not_o able_a to_o bear_v the_o ravishment_n that_o the_o remembrance_n and_o meditation_n of_o they_o bring_v to_o my_o soul_n now_o almost_o as_o full_a of_o sadness_n as_o then_o of_o joy_n after_o those_o time_n as_o those_o after_o the_o flood_n my_o joy_n and_o the_o act_n and_o working_n of_o my_o grace_n grow_v very_o short-lived_a in_o comparison_n of_o what_o they_o be_v before_o then_o they_o be_v methusalems_n for_o age_n and_o sampson_n for_o strength_n to_o what_o they_o be_v now_o before_o though_o i_o fall_v spiritual_o sick_a and_o my_o strength_n and_o comfort_n be_v go_v yet_o i_o be_v sensible_a of_o my_o weakness_n it_o be_v a_o pain_n and_o a_o grief_n unto_o i_o that_o i_o can_v not_o walk_v into_o the_o delightful_a garden_n of_o the_o spouse_n and_o to_o the_o sweet_a bed_n of_o his_o spice_n i_o can_v weep_v for_o want_v of_o tear_n if_o not_o i_o can_v mourn_v for_o want_v of_o sorrow_n but_o now_o like_o a_o man_n that_o have_v groan_v and_o struggle_v so_o long_o that_o he_o can_v struggle_v no_o long_o but_o grow_v senseless_a can_v hardly_o be_v perceive_v to_o breathe_v or_o live_v if_o the_o sweet_a music_n shall_v be_v play_v by_o he_o or_o the_o dear_a friend_n in_o the_o world_n shall_v come_v and_o ask_v he_o with_o tear_n in_o his_o eye_n dear_a husband_n or_o dear_a wife_n how_o do_v you_o the_o poor_a sick_a one_o do_v not_o so_o much_o as_o open_v the_o eye_n to_o see_v who_o it_o be_v that_o speak_v or_o if_o open_v they_o they_o be_v present_o heavy_a with_o death_n fall_v down_o again_o and_o he_o die_v so_o be_v it_o with_o my_o poor_a soul_n sometime_o i_o can_v hear_v my_o saviour_n as_o it_o be_v say_v unto_o i_o for_o sometime_o methinks_v i_o see_v he_o about_o my_o sick_a soul_n ah_o poor_a soul_n how_o do_v thou_o do_v be_v my_o joseph_n yet_o live_v but_o alas_o lord_n thou_o know_v i_o have_v scarce_o strength_n or_o life_n to_o lift_v up_o my_o eye_n to_o thou_o lord_n can_v these_o bone_n live_v can_v these_o dry_a eye_n weep_v can_v this_o freeze_a heart_n be_v inflame_v meditat._n iu._n lord_n i_o be_o ashamed_a to_o consider_v what_o i_o know_v of_o thou_o when_o i_o think_v what_o i_o do_v for_o thou_o ah_o my_o god_n the_o care_n of_o the_o world_n lie_v heavy_a upon_o i_o resolution_n though_o never_o so_o strong_a be_v too_o weak_a to_o overcome_v my_o corruption_n alas_o i_o can_v scarce_o say_v any_o more_o than_o i_o have_v say_v in_o the_o confess_v and_o bewail_v my_o sad_a spiritual_a condition_n though_o i_o have_v say_v nothing_o to_o what_o i_o shall_v say_v have_v i_o not_o tell_v thou_o lord_n with_o tear_n in_o my_o eye_n and_o with_o a_o sad_a heart_n that_o i_o find_v my_o corruption_n get_v ground_n of_o i_o my_o prayer_n my_o tear_n my_o resolution_n and_o some_o endeavour_n do_v resist_v but_o can_v overcome_v they_o these_o keep_v they_o from_o prevail_v so_o soon_o but_o not_o from_o prevail_v i_o humble_o confess_v or_o desire_v so_o to_o do_v that_o i_o may_v complain_v to_o thou_o but_o i_o shall_v add_v to_o my_o abomination_n exceed_o if_o i_o shall_v complain_v of_o thou_o my_o heart_n do_v almost_o tempt_v i_o to_o it_o when_o i_o consider_v what_o i_o be_v and_o what_o i_o be_o it_o be_v as_o a_o talon_n of_o lead_n upon_o my_o soul_n yet_o since_o by_o my_o preach_n thou_o be_v glorify_v and_o thy_o people_n edify_v more_o than_o if_o i_o shall_v spend_v all_o my_o time_n in_o private_a meditation_n i_o be_o willing_a to_o submit_v only_o i_o do_v humble_o beseech_v thou_o with_o tear_n in_o my_o eye_n that_o though_o i_o have_v less_o time_n to_o spend_v in_o such_o private_a duty_n yet_o that_o my_o poor_a soul_n may_v not_o lose_v her_o love_n to_o they_o and_o though_o i_o perform_v few_o duty_n i_o may_v not_o perform_v they_o worse_o than_o i_o do_v when_o i_o perform_v more_o meditat._n v._n i_o do_v much_o wonder_n at_o myself_o and_o at_o many_o nay_o somewhat_o at_o all_o christian_n upon_o day_n of_o humiliation_n but_o most_o at_o myself_o to_o hear_v the_o tongue_n of_o a_o poor_a christian_a confess_v and_o his_o eye_n weep_v for_o his_o sin_n and_o speak_v of_o they_o with_o such_o expression_n and_o such_o sigh_n that_o one_o will_v think_v sure_o this_o christian_n keep_v a_o strict_a communion_n with_o god_n sure_o he_o will_v not_o sin_v for_o a_o world_n sure_o god_n be_v in_o all_o this_o man_n thought_n and_o yet_o stay_v but_o while_o he_o have_v do_v his_o prayer_n and_o you_o find_v in_o he_o such_o strong_a thought_n word_n and_o action_n that_o be_v almost_o incredible_a loose_a and_o idle_a word_n and_o vain_a thought_n i_o but_o too_o often_o experience_n make_v it_o even_o past_a hope_n it_o shall_v be_v otherwise_o with_o i_o if_o any_o town_n that_o be_v strait_o besiege_v with_o cruel_a enemy_n shall_v send_v for_o aid_n to_o such_o or_o such_o and_o when_o they_o come_v they_o shall_v send_v out_o most_o of_o the_o town_n to_o join_v with_o the_o enemy_n against_o those_o that_o come_v to_o help_v they_o what_o we_o will_v say_v of_o such_o people_n lord_n just_o thus_o be_v we_o we_o have_v a_o world_n of_o corruption_n and_o temptation_n sin_n and_o hell_n and_o satan_n all_o beset_v we_o all_o beset_v we_o and_o violent_o assault_v we_o we_o pray_v for_o the_o help_n of_o god_n against_o they_o day_n after_o day_n we_o send_v our_o prayer_n to_o heaven_n for_o assistance_n well_o god_n do_v send_v his_o holy_a spirit_n to_o help_v this_o poor_a soul_n in_o the_o ministry_n of_o the_o word_n tell_v we_o
carnal_a tear_n and_o one_o great_a cause_n of_o my_o grief_n and_o part_n of_o my_o misery_n be_v that_o i_o can_v weep_v no_o more_o sometime_o indeed_o tear_n stand_v in_o my_o eye_n when_o i_o consider_v these_o thing_n lord_n give_v i_o faith_n o_o give_v i_o faith_n i_o feel_v a_o deal_n of_o atheism_n in_o my_o heart_n my_o heart_n be_v so_o full_a of_o corruption_n of_o all_o kind_n and_o all_o degree_n that_o i_o can_v feel_v no_o bottom_n of_o this_o stink_a ditch_n my_o imagination_n be_v divers_a time_n a_o thoroughfare_a for_o satan_n blasphemous_a thought_n which_o my_o soul_n abhor_v i_o may_v even_o sit_v down_o and_o spend_v the_o remainder_n of_o my_o wicked_a life_n in_o weep_v and_o wail_v and_o wring_v of_o my_o hand_n and_o tear_v off_o the_o hair_n of_o my_o head_n my_o sad_a soul_n may_v say_v to_o my_o god_n be_v thou_o quite_o go_v from_o i_o have_v all_o my_o hope_n of_o thou_o be_v as_o dream_n and_o empty_a shadow_n unto_o i_o and_o have_v thou_o show_v i_o so_o much_o of_o heaven_n and_o will_v thou_o make_v hell_n more_o terrible_a and_o bitter_a to_o i_o shall_v thy_o sweet_a mercy_n be_v turn_v into_o the_o gall_n of_o asp_n to_o i_o not_o only_o to_o be_v bitter_a but_o deadly_a i_o have_v cause_n i_o have_v cause_n lord_n to_o mingle_v my_o drink_n with_o my_o tear_n to_o water_v my_o couch_n with_o weep_v thou_o be_v too_o great_a a_o god_n to_o be_v dally_v withal_o and_o what_o do_v i_o else_o as_o our_o dear_a friend_n though_o we_o never_o so_o much_o delight_v in_o their_o company_n while_o they_o be_v live_v yet_o we_o be_v afraid_a to_o be_v alone_o with_o they_o they_o be_v a_o terronr_n to_o we_o after_o the_o soul_n have_v leave_v their_o earthly_a tabernacle_n so_o my_o prayer_n while_o they_o be_v live_v prayer_n be_v a_o great_a comfort_n to_o my_o poor_a soul_n but_o now_o my_o prayer_n be_v without_o life_n and_o my_o supplication_n be_v dead_a they_o be_v a_o terror_n to_o i_o they_o look_v ghastly_a upon_o i_o and_o i_o upon_o they_o meditat._v xii_o my_o dear_a god_n thovart_n not_o move_v with_o word_n if_o we_o have_v the_o tongue_n of_o man_n and_o angel_n if_o we_o can_v speak_v as_o never_o man_n speak_v if_o our_o heart_n mean_v no_o more_o than_o they_o do_v what_o will_v our_o vain_a word_n do_v i_o be_o ever_o weary_a of_o my_o life_n because_o of_o my_o corruption_n i_o can_v go_v no_o where_o nor_o do_v any_o thing_n but_o my_o corruption_n follow_v i_o and_o tire_v i_o even_o out_o of_o my_o patience_n o_o that_o i_o can_v weep_v over_o my_o soul_n and_o weep_v over_o my_o prayer_n to_o see_v how_o dead_a they_o be_v which_o way_n to_o turn_v i_o know_v not_o i_o have_v pray_v a_o thousand_o time_n for_o another_o heart_n and_o yet_o my_o heart_n be_v as_o hard_a as_o a_o stone_n and_o so_o full_a of_o hypocrisy_n that_o there_o be_v a_o world_n of_o hypocrisy_n in_o my_o confession_n of_o hypocrisy_n lord_n shall_v i_o cast_v away_o my_o confidence_n and_o lay_v down_o my_o weapon_n and_o put_v off_o my_o armour_n because_o my_o corruption_n be_v so_o strong_a and_o impetuous_a and_o deaden_a my_o very_a soul_n but_o alas_o what_o be_o i_o weary_a of_o not_o of_o my_o sin_n but_o of_o the_o accusation_n of_o my_o conscience_n that_o will_v not_o let_v i_o alone_o bless_v be_v thy_o name_n that_o i_o be_o trouble_v that_o i_o do_v not_o live_v holy_o and_o yet_o i_o will_v strive_v to_o live_v holy_o lord_n my_o heart_n be_v ertangle_v in_o the_o snare_n of_o the_o world_n bless_a saviour_n thou_o which_o have_v overcome_v the_o world_n deliver_v i_o from_o the_o care_n and_o love_n of_o the_o world_n alas_o what_o good_a do_v my_o tear_n do_v i_o do_v thou_o bottle_n up_o such_o tear_n such_o puddle_n water_n in_o thy_o bottle_n let_v the_o bowel_n of_o thy_o compassion_n yern_v within_o the_o towards_o my_o poor_a soul_n it_o be_v full_a of_o sin_n but_o my_o sin_n be_v my_o sorrow_n though_o my_o sorrow_n itself_o be_v sinful_a if_o thou_o stand_v as_o a_o stranger_n to_o i_o i_o must_v give_v over_o myself_o for_o lose_v than_o i_o may_v say_v farewell_n prayer_n better_a to_o say_v farewell_n then_o to_o add_v to_o my_o former_a sin_n a_o great_a guilt_n by_o defile_v my_o prayer_n that_o be_v as_o the_o chariot_n to_o carry_v out_o my_o soul_n into_o the_o bosom_n of_o god_n what_o be_o i_o to_o stand_v against_o corruption_n or_o temptation_n i_o be_o no_o more_o able_a to_o overcome_v nay_o to_o resist_v they_o then_o to_o remove_v mountain_n i_o have_v sin_v away_o my_o comfort_n and_o sin_v away_o my_o joy_n and_o sin_v away_o my_o hope_n and_o even_o my_o god_n if_o thy_o mercy_n be_v not_o great_a and_o what_o remain_v for_o my_o poor_a soul_n to_o do_v but_o to_o sit_v down_o in_o sorrow_n and_o even_o to_o mourn_v until_o my_o soul_n be_v heavy_a unto_o death_n it_o have_v be_v better_a for_o i_o that_o i_o have_v not_o be_v one_o to_o show_v the_o way_n to_o other_o nay_o but_o oh_o my_o god_n that_o be_v best_a for_o i_o that_o thou_o have_v do_v for_o i_o bless_a god_n do_v but_o make_v i_o thy_o meditat._n xiii_o alas_o oh_o my_o soul_n may_v not_o i_o just_o spend_v the_o remainder_n of_o my_o day_n in_o sigh_v to_o perceive_v my_o good_a god_n from_o who_o sweet_a presence_n i_o have_v in_o former_a time_n have_v so_o much_o grace_n and_o comfort_n to_o be_v such_o a_o stranger_n now_o to_o man_n and_o what_o be_v worse_o my_o heart_n so_o senseless_a of_o his_o absence_n the_o time_n have_v be_v when_o myheart_n have_v almost_o bleed_v within_o i_o to_o think_v what_o a_o miserable_a condition_n i_o shall_v be_v in_o if_o ever_o it_o shall_v come_v to_o pass_v that_o it_o shall_v be_v thus_o lord_n why_o do_v thou_o absent_v thyself_o from_o my_o poor_a soul_n if_o i_o be_v in_o a_o desertion_n of_o comfort_n i_o be_v in_o a_o far_o better_a condition_n but_o to_o be_v in_o a_o desertion_n of_o grace_n and_o not_o to_o be_v trouble_v be_v a_o sad_a condition_n me_n think_v i_o see_v my_o stock_n of_o grace_n grow_v weak_a and_o weak_a and_o more_o and_o more_o to_o languish_v as_o one_o that_o be_v die_v the_o pulse_n grow_v weak_a and_o weak_a until_o at_o last_o it_o be_v not_o moee_v o_o lord_n what_o to_o say_v i_o do_v not_o know_v alas_o i_o can_v but_o call_v and_o cry_v and_o pray_v lord_n if_o ever_o thou_o will_v take_v pity_n upon_o a_o poor_a miserable_a speechless_a sinner_n lord_n if_o thou_o will_v that_o i_o may_v overcome_v lord_n i_o can_v get_v my_o heart_n to_o be_v content_a to_o be_v damn_v and_o indeed_o since_o then_o i_o must_v eternal_o be_v separate_v from_o thou_o i_o do_v not_o desire_v to_o get_v my_o heart_n to_o be_v content_a but_o to_o struggle_v against_o it_o as_o long_o as_o i_o be_o able_a meditat._n fourteen_o to_o have_v satan_n and_o corruption_n come_v and_o beset_v i_o as_o soon_o as_o i_o awake_v and_o to_o follow_v i_o all_o the_o day_n long_o and_o to_o go_v to_o bed_n with_o i_o and_o to_o keep_v i_o wake_v to_o have_v no_o respite_n be_v a_o sad_a condition_n when_o i_o shall_v awake_v with_o my_o god_n my_o good_a god_n who_o keep_v i_o and_o watch_v over_o i_o whilst_o i_o sleep_v to_o have_v satan_n stand_v ready_a and_o hold_v his_o temptation_n before_o my_o eye_n which_o way_n soever_o i_o look_v and_o to_o prevail_v so_o far_o with_o i_o as_o at_o last_o to_o make_v i_o scarce_o to_o hate_v the_o sin_n he_o tempt_v i_o to_o i_o feel_v in_o my_o spiritual_a part_n a_o utter_a abhor_v of_o the_o sin_n i_o will_v give_v ten_o thousand_o world_n rather_o than_o commit_v the_o sin_n and_o yet_o i_o have_v much_o ado_n to_o refrain_v alas_o can_v my_o secure_a soul_n live_v meditat._n xv._o i_o be_o in_o such_o a_o wretched_a temper_n as_o to_o be_v willing_a to_o offend_v my_o god_n and_o when_o i_o go_v about_o to_o grieve_v sorrow_n be_v far_o from_o i_o nay_o the_o grief_n which_o sometime_o i_o feel_v be_v not_o strong_a enough_o to_o conquer_v the_o temptation_n when_o tear_n stand_v in_o my_o eye_n to_o consider_v the_o miserable_a condition_n of_o my_o soul_n in_o be_v so_o prone_a to_o sin_n the_o temptation_n increase_v to_o hear_v one_o of_o thy_o servant_n groan_v under_o thy_o hand_n and_o then_o to_o stand_v parly_v with_o temptation_n and_o not_o rather_o be_v afraid_a that_o the_o same_o affliction_n etc._n etc._n lord_n i_o be_o in_o thy_o hand_n for_o affliction_n lie_v what_o thou_o will_v upon_o i_o i_o must_v bear_v it_o and_o i_o will_v bear_v it_o patient_o
this_o dulness_n and_o deadness_n of_o heart_n that_o be_v the_o just_a reason_n why_o i_o shed_v they_o and_o if_o thou_o shall_v once_o purify_v and_o inflame_v my_o heart_n by_o faith_n and_o love_n i_o shall_v shed_v more_o tear_n for_o my_o wander_a thought_n in_o prayer_n than_o now_o i_o do_v for_o all_o the_o abomination_n i_o be_o guilty_a of_o alas_o lord_n the_o ordinary_a day_n of_o thy_o saint_n be_v far_o more_o holy_a than_o the_o day_n i_o set_v apart_o for_o special_a service_n of_o thou_o and_o their_o thought_n in_o the_o midst_n of_o their_o worldly_a business_n be_v more_o devout_a and_o zealous_a than_o my_o thought_n in_o my_o prayer_n be_v always_o with_o thou_o i_o scarce_o do_v any_o thing_n though_o almost_o of_o never_o so_o small_a moment_n but_o the_o reason_n why_o i_o do_v it_o this_o or_o that_o way_n be_v because_o it_o be_v some_o way_n or_o other_o more_o for_o thy_o glory_n lord_n it_o be_v not_o thy_o fault_n for_o thou_o do_v wait_v to_o show_v mercy_n whether_o my_o wretched_a heart_n will_v consent_v to_o it_o or_o no_o this_o i_o do_v set_v down_o as_o a_o infallible_a truth_n and_o let_v all_o the_o world_n give_v thou_o the_o glory_n of_o it_o all_z thy_o way_n be_v holy_a just_a and_o good_a and_o thou_o do_v stretch_v out_o thy_o arm_n to_o embrace_v we_o it_o be_v our_o fault_n that_o we_o do_v not_o run_v into_o thy_o bosom_n the_o infidelity_n and_o other_o corruption_n that_o be_v in_o our_o bosom_n make_v we_o think_v that_o thou_o be_v not_o willing_a to_o receive_v we_o and_o so_o we_o not_o come_v we_o want_v that_o experimental_a knowledge_n of_o thou_o that_o will_v if_o we_o have_v it_o make_v we_o not_o so_o timorous_a of_o comng_v to_o thou_o as_o we_o be_v meditat._n xxi_o before_o i_o begin_v to_o write_v i_o know_v i_o have_v more_o cause_n to_o write_v in_o blood_n or_o tear_n then_o in_o ink_n can_v a_o mother_n forget_v her_o child_n it_o be_v not_o can_v a_o child_n forget_v the_o mother_n nor_o be_v it_o can_v a_o mother_n her_o child_n if_o the_o child_n forget_v she_o or_o can_v there_o be_v any_o case_n wherein_o the_o mother_n can_v forget_v her_o child_n lord_n do_v thoo_n awaken_v my_o heart_n for_o it_o be_v asleep_a lord_n do_v thou_o raise_v my_o heart_n for_o it_o be_v dead_a do_v thou_o thaw_v my_o heart_n for_o it_o be_v freeze_v lord_n thou_o be_v that_o celestial_a fire_n that_o inflame_v all_o thy_o angel_n with_o love_n i_o have_v no_o way_n but_o to_o come_v before_o thy_o presence_n in_o hope_n that_o at_o the_o last_o i_o shall_v be_v thaw_v if_o not_o inflame_v thou_o will_v not_o put_v out_o the_o smoke_a snuff_n of_o a_o candle_n i_o be_o such_o a_o one_o enlighten_v and_o inflame_v though_o now_o i_o send_v forth_o nothing_o but_o a_o unsavoury_a staunch_a what_o shall_v i_o stand_v imperfect_a as_o i_o be_o thus_o speak_v what_o i_o may_v and_o what_o i_o have_v to_o say_v to_o my_o god_n lord_n thou_o have_v command_v in_o thy_o word_n that_o if_o a_o adulterer_n defile_v a_o woman_n and_o she_o cry_v not_o out_o than_o she_o shall_v be_v put_v to_o death_n lord_n infidelity_n hypocrisy_n and_o vainglory_n be_v come_v to_o undo_v i_o to_o defile_v my_o soul_n and_o they_o have_v almost_o persuade_v my_o soul_n not_o to_o cry_v out_o to_o be_v ravish_v be_v a_o great_a affliction_n but_o to_o embrace_v the_o adulterer_n be_v a_o abomination_n if_o i_o cry_v to_o man_n for_o succour_n if_o i_o go_v to_o ordinance_n alas_o the_o adulterer_n be_v a_o strong_a man_n he_o have_v lock_v the_o door_n of_o my_o soul_n and_o none_o can_v break_v they_o open_v but_o thou_o only_o lord_n do_v not_o stand_v knock_v at_o the_o door_n of_o my_o heart_n for_o the_o strong_a man_n will_v not_o and_o i_o be_o keep_v so_o fast_o by_o my_o corruption_n i_o can_v come_v to_o let_v thou_o in_o lord_n break_v open_a the_o door_n and_o come_v in_o to_o help_v i_o before_o i_o be_o utter_o undo_v as_o it_o be_v with_o the_o levite_n concubine_n so_o will_v it_o be_v with_o my_o poor_a soul_n corruption_n and_o corruption_n and_o sin_n after_o sin_n will_v so_o abuse_v she_o that_o she_o will_v be_v at_o last_o dead_a alas_o methinks_v i_o look_v upon_o my_o poor_a soul_n as_o one_o look_n upon_o a_o ship_n toss_v among_o rock_n in_o the_o sea_n one_o see_v it_o and_o pity_v it_o but_o know_v not_o how_o to_o help_v it_o there_o come_v a_o wave_n and_o carry_v it_o with_o violence_n among_o the_o midst_n of_o the_o rock_n and_o make_v it_o reel_v and_o stagger_v like_o a_o drunken_a man_n and_o then_o all_o in_o the_o ship_n be_v fain_o to_o pump_v and_o toil_n to_o save_v their_o life_n at_o last_o it_o be_v dash_v in_o piece_n and_o all_o fain_a to_o get_v upon_o break_v piece_n of_o the_o ship_n to_o swim_v to_o the_o shore_n if_o it_o may_v be_v my_o soul_n be_v even_o labour_v for_o life_n lord_n what_o will_v thou_o do_v will_v thou_o be_v as_o a_o man_n astonish_v and_o as_o a_o mighty_a man_n that_o can_v help_v then_o i_o be_o undo_v than_o i_o may_v say_v if_o thou_o will_v not_o then_o farewell_n all_o my_o duty_n farewell_n all_o my_o grace_n and_o all_o my_o comfort_n which_o i_o have_v have_v in_o the_o dear_a embrace_n of_o my_o god_n ah_o must_v i_o not_o pray_v but_o with_o my_o tongue_n must_v i_o have_v no_o more_o comfort_n but_o what_o poor_a creature_n can_v give_v i_o lord_n if_o i_o must_v perish_v let_v i_o perish_v in_o thy_o way_n let_v i_o convert_v many_o unto_o thou_o though_o i_o know_v my_o damnation_n shall_v be_v great_a if_o i_o perish_v for_o live_v so_o contrary_a to_o i_o own_o doctrine_n lord_n i_o be_o a_o poor_a miserable_a man_n and_o a_o more_o miserable_a christian_a thou_o be_v i_o can_v possible_o imagine_v what_o but_o i_o hope_v lord_n i_o shall_v know_v these_o day_n of_o ignorance_n and_o sin_n will_v not_o always_o last_o when_o my_o change_n come_v i_o shall_v no_o more_o sin_n and_o repent_v and_o repent_v and_o sin_n as_o i_o do_v now_o oh_o my_o corruption_n i_o hope_v one_o day_n i_o shall_v leave_v you_o all_o in_o the_o grave_n behind_o i_o the_o day_n be_v come_v when_o while_o i_o be_o praise_v god_n you_o shall_v not_o come_v and_o lie_v as_o a_o talon_n of_o lead_n upon_o my_o soul_n and_o hinder_v my_o flight_n come_v lord_n jesus_n come_v quick_o come_v while_o my_o soul_n be_v fill_v with_o joy_n to_o think_v of_o thy_o come_n o_o my_o god_n thou_o be_v enough_o for_o i_o enough_o enough_o my_o soul_n can_v hold_v no_o more_o lord_n i_o be_o afraid_a of_o the_o joy_n sometime_o i_o have_v to_o think_v of_o thou_o tear_n for_o my_o sin_n be_v fit_a for_o i_o then_o tear_n of_o joy_n yet_o i_o dare_v not_o refuse_v they_o nay_o i_o can_v if_o i_o will_v they_o be_v so_o sweet_a so_o sweet_a heaven_n be_v but_o a_o great_a measure_n of_o they_o lord_n thou_o be_v enough_o enough_o for_o they_o that_o love_v thou_o meditat._v xxii_o to_o see_v a_o dead_a man_n array_v with_o all_o the_o rich_a clothes_n still_o there_o be_v more_o horror_n to_o behold_v he_o then_o delight_n so_o my_o poor_a soul_n look_v ghastly_a in_o all_o the_o duty_n i_o perform_v i_o have_v a_o cold_a and_o dead_a soul_n for_o all_o they_o and_o more_o terror_n there_o be_v in_o the_o deadness_n then_o there_o be_v comfort_n in_o the_o multitude_n of_o they_o this_o i_o know_v by_o experience_n that_o one_o look_n upon_o hell_n upon_o whatsoever_o one_o look_n but_o up-christ_n yet_o christ_n be_v not_o sweet_a unto_o i_o my_o dear_a saviour_n to_o who_o i_o be_v so_o dear_a lord_n jesus_n give_v i_o a_o heart_n that_o may_v feel_v thy_o sweetness_n i_o be_o convince_v that_o thou_o be_v so_o but_o my_o poor_a heart_n have_v not_o enough_o taste_v the_o sweetness_n of_o this_o truth_n that_o all_o thing_n be_v dross_n and_o dung_n in_o comparison_n of_o christ_n lord_n here_o be_v my_o estate_n my_o health_n my_o life_n my_o liberty_n and_o all_o that_o i_o have_v and_o have_v i_o more_o i_o will_v free_o give_v all_o give_v but_o such_o a_o heart_n as_o i_o desire_v and_o the_o same_o will_v i_o consecrate_v unto_o thou_o in_o spiritual_a affection_n all_o my_o day_n now_o i_o think_v thus_o with_o myself_o when_o i_o be_v most_o desirous_a of_o and_o addict_v to_o humane_a learning_n it_o be_v wonderful_a delightful_a to_o i_o to_o be_v instruct_v in_o some_o new_a truth_n or_o to_o have_v some_o difficult_a question_n clear_o resolve_v to_o read_v the_o mathematics_n be_v wonderful_a delightful_a because_o they_o prove_v such_o strange_a thing_n
than_o i_o have_v recourse_n to_o the_o word_n of_o god_n and_o by_o that_o i_o be_o assure_v that_o all_o the_o treasure_n of_o wisdom_n and_o knowledge_n be_v hide_v in_o christ_n and_o in_o his_o gospel_n then_o further_o i_o have_v recourse_n to_o the_o experience_n of_o the_o people_n of_o god_n in_o the_o word_n of_o god_n and_o in_o particular_a to_o paul_n who_o be_v a_o learned_a man_n yet_o account_v all_o thing_n as_o dross_n and_o dung_n in_o comparison_n of_o christ_n i_o have_v also_o recourse_n to_o the_o experience_n of_o several_a godly_a person_n i_o know_v of_o the_o abundant_a sweetness_n in_o christ_n i_o have_v recourse_n to_o that_o small_a experience_n i_o have_v have_v of_o the_o sweetness_n and_o excellency_n of_o the_o knowledge_n of_o christ_n therefore_o lord_n though_o i_o have_v not_o at_o this_o present_a the_o powerful_a and_o ravish_a feeling_n of_o christ_n excellency_n yet_o assure_v myself_o all_o these_o way_n whereby_o i_o full_o do_v assent_v to_o that_o truth_n that_o it_o be_v life_n eternal_a to_o know_v thou_o and_o jesus_n christ_n i_o do_v beseech_v thou_o o_o lord_n to_o give_v i_o a_o full_a knowledge_n of_o thou_o in_o christ_n i_o beseech_v thou_o i_o beseech_v thou_o let_v not_o my_o undervalue_v of_o this_o knowledge_n cause_v thou_o to_o deny_v it_o i_o shall_v more_o value_v it_o if_o i_o have_v more_o of_o it_o lord_n i_o know_v if_o thou_o shall_v look_v in_o i_o and_o my_o life_n to_o see_v what_o thou_o can_v find_v to_o hinder_v the_o grant_n of_o this_o request_n thou_o may_v find_v enough_o nay_o i_o that_o know_v myself_o not_o so_o well_o as_o thou_o do_v know_v enough_o and_o enough_o nay_o i_o know_v nothing_o to_o move_v thou_o in_o myself_o except_o something_o i_o have_v have_v from_o thou_o those_o thing_n i_o have_v so_o abuse_v that_o i_o know_v they_o may_v be_v swift_a witness_n against_o i_o b●t_a lord_n if_o thou_o shall_v give_v i_o this_o knowledge_n of_o they_o i_o may_v do_v great_a thing_n for_o thou_o lord_n hear_v i_o alas_o lord_n my_o desire_n to_o know_v christ_n do_v even_o die_v while_o i_o be_o pray_v to_o know_v he_o alas_o lord_n such_o a_o heart_n as_o i_o have_v be_v fit_a for_o none_o but_o thou_o for_o none_o in_o the_o world_n can_v tell_v what_o to_o do_v with_o it_o but_o thou_o only_o it_o be_v past_o the_o skill_n of_o all_o in_o heaven_n and_o earth_n but_o thou_o it_o be_v not_o in_o the_o power_n of_o ordinance_n and_o duty_n if_o thou_o shall_v not_o set_v in_o i_o will_v pity_v the_o soul_n of_o my_o great_a enemy_n if_o i_o shall_v see_v it_o in_o such_o continual_a storm_n and_o trouble_v as_o be_v in_o i_o there_o be_v new_a corruption_n appear_v such_o as_o i_o may_v term_v they_o nothing_o so_o fit_o as_o spark_n of_o the_o fire_n of_o hell_n to_o have_v one_o heart_n rise_v against_o god_n when_o the_o continual_a desire_n of_o one_o soul_n and_o prayer_n be_v that_o one_o may_v be_v inflame_v with_o the_o love_n of_o god_n lord_n while_o i_o be_o work_v my_o heart_n to_o a_o serious_a thought_n of_o thou_o endeavour_v to_o have_v my_o heart_n full_a of_o admiration_n of_o thou_o and_o affiance_n in_o thou_o before_o i_o pray_v unto_o thou_o that_o if_o it_o may_v be_v my_o prayer_n may_v be_v as_o a_o arrow-drawn_a up_o to_o the_o head_n but_o when_o i_o go_v about_o to_o pray_v and_o send_v up_o my_o petition_n my_o thought_n of_o thy_o glory_n and_o goodness_n slack_v and_o it_o fare_v with_o i_o oh_o my_o soul_n as_o sometime_o it_o do_v with_o one_o that_o be_v tie_v knot_n when_o one_o have_v pull_v the_o first_o very_o hard_o yet_o it_o slack_v before_o one_o can_v tie_v the_o second_o if_o i_o keep_v but_o a_o strict_a communion_n with_o thou_o and_o do_v as_o thou_o desire_v lord_n why_o shall_v thou_o desire_v we_o always_o to_o be_v with_o thou_o how_o shall_v we_o be_v acquaint_v with_o thou_o far_o more_o than_o we_o be_v and_o if_o we_o know_v thou_o more_o how_o shall_v we_o love_v thou_o more_o and_o if_o we_o love_v thou_o more_o how_o shall_v we_o know_v thou_o more_o for_o thou_o reveale_v thyself_o to_o they_o that_o love_v thou_o alas_o o_o my_o soul_n why_o shall_v not_o we_o always_o be_v with_o god_n since_o he_o give_v we_o leave_v how_o gracious_a be_v thou_o to_o invite_v such_o sinner_n as_o we_o be_v to_o come_v to_o thou_o for_o thou_o to_o wash_v our_o soul_n clean_o with_o the_o immaculate_a blood_n of_o the_o lord_n jesus_n christ_n alas_o lord_n i_o be_o i_o own_o enemy_n nay_o i_o see_v it_o and_o know_v it_o and_o it_o can_v be_v otherwise_o lord_n i_o be_o so_o tire_v out_o with_o my_o corruption_n that_o i_o be_o even_o weary_a of_o my_o life_n and_o almost_o weary_a of_o my_o duty_n lord_n even_o at_o this_o present_a how_o when_o my_o soul_n be_v so_o trouble_v that_o my_o eye_n be_v ready_a to_o weep_v there_o come_v a_o thought_n of_o a_o poor_a worldly_a business_n into_o my_o soul_n and_o my_o thought_n and_o sorrow_n for_o heavenly_a matter_n be_v go_v meditat._v xxiii_o o_o my_o god_n how_o cold_o without_o love_n how_o doubt_o without_o faith_n do_v i_o call_v thou_o my_o god_n lord_n how_o careless_a be_o i_o in_o thy_o service_n how_o very_o careless_a how_o long_a lord_n holy_a and_o true_a shall_v i_o be_v thus_o lade_v with_o corruption_n nay_o which_o be_v my_o great_a misery_n i_o be_o not_o but_o very_o little_a sensible_a of_o my_o own_o vileness_n that_o make_v i_o that_o i_o do_v not_o hunger_n after_o righteousness_n bless_a lord_n i_o do_v humble_o prostrate_v my_o soul_n before_o thou_o and_o do_v with_o all_o the_o weak_a power_n of_o my_o soul_n importune_v thou_o by_o all_o the_o merit_n of_o my_o dear_a saviour_n pray_v thou_o to_o look_v upon_o i_o in_o mercy_n when_o the_o poor_a wound_a man_n that_o go_v from_o jerusalem_n to_o jeriche_n lay_v half_a dead_a and_o speechless_a in_o the_o way_n though_o he_o be_v not_o sensible_a of_o his_o own_o misery_n yet_o the_o good_a samaritan_n be_v though_o his_o tongue_n do_v not_o can_v not_o call_v for_o pity_n yet_o his_o wound_n open_v their_o mouth_n wide_a and_o speak_v aloud_o to_o the_o samaritan_n though_o his_o eye_n shed_v no_o tear_n yet_o his_o very_a heart_n weep_v blood_n at_o his_o wound_n and_o move_v compassion_n like_o to_o that_o poor_a wound_a man_n be_o i_o so_o weak_a so_o sick_a that_o i_o be_o scarce_o sensible_a of_o my_o own_o desperate_a condition_n lord_n though_o my_o heart_n be_v not_o full_a of_o love_n it_o be_v full_a of_o wound_n lord_n thou_o know_v my_o misery_n i_o humble_o beseech_v thou_o to_o pity_v i_o not_o according_a to_o my_o prayer_n but_o according_a to_o my_o want_n lord_n that_o i_o do_v not_o desire_v to_o serve_v thou_o that_o i_o do_v not_o hunger_n nor_o thirst_n after_o righteousness_n it_o be_v the_o great_a misery_n that_o i_o have_v meditat._v xxiv_o oh_o how_o terrible_a be_v the_o thought_n of_o death_n to_o i_o it_o be_v not_o so_o much_o for_o want_v of_o faith_n as_o holiness_n and_o indeed_o i_o find_v that_o i_o can_v never_o with_o comfort_n think_v on_o death_n but_o when_o i_o have_v live_v very_o holy_o before_o for_o what_o will_v faith_n in_o that_o case_n help_v i_o without_o holiness_n for_o faith_n without_o holiness_n be_v not_o faith_n but_o presumption_n oh_o how_o sweet_a how_o dear_a how_o excellent_a a_o thing_n be_v holiness_n oh_o how_o full_a of_o peace_n and_o joy_n be_v my_o soul_n when_o i_o be_o full_a of_o that_o and_o yet_o lord_n how_o careless_a be_o i_o of_o thy_o service_n how_o many_o time_n in_o the_o day_n when_o i_o may_v think_v of_o thou_o without_o any_o hindrance_n of_o my_o study_n do_v i_o choose_v rather_o to_o think_v of_o vanity_n o_o wean_v my_o soul_n o_o god_n from_o every_o thing_n that_o be_v not_o thou_o fill_v my_o heart_n with_o thyself_o dwell_v in_o i_o my_o dear_a god_n why_o do_v i_o call_v thou_o dear_a when_o i_o prefer_v every_o trifle_n before_o thou_o o_o most_o glorious_a lord_n god_n who_o ten_o thousand_o world_n can_v sufficient_o praise_v nor_o love_v which_o be_v thyself_o and_o can_v not_o be_v more_o nor_o can_v be_v less_o how_o easy_a lord_n be_v it_o for_o thou_o to_o change_v my_o heart_n my_o heart_n of_o stone_n for_o a_o heart_n of_o flesh_n lord_n as_o long_o as_o i_o have_v this_o heart_n of_o stone_n there_o be_v no_o hope_n that_o i_o shall_v serve_v thou_o with_o any_o cheerfulness_n or_o any_o constancy_n lord_n hear_v my_o prayer_n meditat._v xxv_o o_o bless_a god_n if_o the_o way_n of_o thy_o providence_n be_v such_o that_o thou_o will_v