and_o joy_n that_o god_n have_v bestow_v upon_o his_o people_n in_o this_o life_n they_o be_v unspeakable_a and_o glorious_a some_o have_v cry_v out_o lord_n either_o withhold_v thy_o comfort_n or_o enlarge_v the_o vessel_n for_o i_o be_o not_o able_a to_o bear_v my_o joy_n we_o read_v of_o daniel_n that_o the_o manifestation_n that_o god_n give_v he_o drink_v up_o his_o spirit_n and_o make_v he_o sick_a some_o day_n after_o dan._n 8._o 27._o such_o joy_n have_v be_v so_o great_a that_o they_o have_v sweeten_v the_o bitter_a persecution_n they_o have_v make_v they_o clap_v their_o hand_n for_o joy_n in_o the_o midst_n of_o flame_n and_o cry_v out_o in_o the_o ravishment_n of_o their_o spirit_n o_o you_o papist_n you_o talk_v of_o miracle_n but_o here_o be_v a_o miracle_n i_o be_o in_o the_o midst_n of_o these_o flame_n as_o in_o a_o bed_n of_o rose_n but_o alas_o what_o be_v the_o joy_n that_o god_n communicate_v to_o his_o people_n in_o this_o life_n they_o be_v but_o as_o the_o drop_n of_o the_o bucket_n to_o the_o whole_a ocean_n the_o apostle_n tell_v we_o that_o it_o do_v not_o appear_v what_o wâ—_n shall_v be_v we_o will_v give_v it_o we_o have_v it_o a_o thousand_o world_n one_o will_v give_v all_o to_o enjoy_v these_o spiritual_a sanctify_a ravishment_n of_o spirit_n one_o day_n if_o these_o than_o be_v so_o sweet_a what_o be_v those_o thing_n that_o thou_o have_v lay_v up_o for_o they_o that_o love_v thou_o 4._o consider_v that_o god_n have_v prepare_v these_o joy_n on_o purpose_n to_o glorify_v his_o goodness_n and_o power_n and_o wisdom_n in_o prepare_v joy_n for_o his_o people_n worthy_a of_o his_o magnificence_n and_o love_n he_o do_v it_o for_o that_o end_n that_o he_o may_v be_v glorify_v and_o admire_v in_o all_o his_o saint_n and_o what_o can_v infinite_a power_n and_o wisdom_n and_o what_o will_v not_o infinite_a love_n and_o goodness_n do_v when_o they_o set_v themselves_o to_o prepare_v a_o entertainment_n and_o to_o bestow_v a_o reward_n that_o may_v set_v forth_o their_o greatness_n what_o do_v king_n do_v in_o such_o case_n that_o which_o be_v account_v a_o feast_n among_o poor_a people_n be_v a_o rich_a man_n fast_n if_o the_o strength_n of_o this_o consideration_n be_v draw_v forth_o it_o will_v wonderful_o affect_v we_o 2._o consider_v wherein_o these_o joy_n consist_v for_o the_o negative_a part_n of_o they_o there_o will_v be_v no_o sickness_n no_o pain_n no_o death_n no_o temporal_a misery_n or_o imperfection_n nay_o there_o shall_v be_v no_o sin_n no_o temptation_n nor_o corruption_n no_o desertion_n no_o imperfection_n of_o grace_n or_o duty_n or_o comfort_n what_o will_v a_o poor_a 〈…〉_z from_o this_o body_n of_o sin_n and_o death_n there_o we_o shall_v see_v god_n clear_o full_o everlasting_o there_o our_o enjoyment_n shall_v be_v incomprehensible_a our_o union_n wonderful_a and_o inseparable_a and_o all_o shall_v be_v eternal_a what_o a_o world_n of_o difference_n be_v there_o betwixt_o a_o dead_a carcase_n and_o the_o same_o body_n when_o he_o live_v when_o it_o be_v dead_a it_o be_v senseless_a gaâ—â—ly_a filthy_a how_o beautiful_a how_o active_a how_o many_o rare_a endowment_n have_v â—â—_o when_o it_o live_v and_o all_o these_o procee_v from_o the_o union_n of_o the_o soâ—â—_n with_o it_o and_o if_o the_o soul_n which_o but_o a_o poor_a creature_n by_o its_o union_n do_v communicate_v such_o rare_a thing_n to_o the_o body_n what_o do_v we_o imagine_v will_v be_v communicate_v both_o to_o the_o body_n and_o the_o soul_n when_o god_n shall_v be_v more_o near_o unite_v to_o they_o than_o they_o be_v one_o to_o another_o when_o they_o shall_v be_v make_v more_o capable_a of_o receive_v and_o god_n will_v be_v more_o abundant_a in_o communicate_v affection_n and_o resolution_n 1._o admire_v the_o love_n and_o goodness_n of_o god_n o_o bless_a god_n from_o the_o begin_n of_o the_o world_n man_n have_v not_o perceive_v by_o the_o hear_n of_o the_o ear_n nor_o have_v they_o see_v with_o their_o eye_n nor_o have_v any_o understand_v save_v only_o thou_o o_o god_n what_o thou_o have_v prepare_v for_o they_o that_o love_v thou_o how_o have_v thou_o commend_v thy_o love_n to_o we_o that_o we_o be_v thy_o son_n but_o it_o do_v not_o yet_o appear_v what_o we_o shall_v be_v o_o the_o length_n and_o breadth_n and_o height_n and_o depth_n of_o thy_o love_n that_o can_v he_o know_v lord_n what_o be_v our_o duty_n or_o what_o be_v our_o person_n that_o thou_o shall_v so_o high_o reward_v they_o and_o we_o our_o best_a righteousness_n be_v as_o filthy_a rag_n and_o for_o we_o we_o be_v worm_n nay_o a_o generation_n of_o viper_n be_v it_o not_o enough_o that_o thou_o do_v not_o shake_v we_o off_o from_o thy_o hand_n of_o providence_n into_o hell_n fiâ—e_n but_o that_o thou_o shall_v lay_v such_o viper_n in_o thy_o bosom_n and_o warm_v we_o with_o thy_o love_n be_v it_o not_o enough_o for_o thou_o to_o forgive_v we_o our_o rebellion_n but_o that_o thou_o shall_v give_v we_o such_o blessing_n be_v it_o not_o a_o miracle_n of_o bounty_n and_o goodness_n for_o thou_o to_o bid_v we_o serious_o to_o consult_v and_o think_v what_o to_o ask_v of_o thou_o and_o thou_o will_v give_v it_o we_o though_o it_o be_v to_o the_o half_a of_o thy_o kingdom_n but_o that_o thou_o shall_v set_v thy_o wisdom_n on_o work_n in_o prepare_v and_o thy_o liberality_n in_o bestow_v such_o incomprehensible_a reward_n that_o we_o can_v neither_o ask_v no_o think_v but_o as_o far_o as_o the_o heaven_n be_v above_o the_o earth_n so_o be_v thy_o thought_n of_o love_n above_o our_o thought_n for_o thou_o to_o give_v thy_o kingdom_n thy_o christ_n thyself_o these_o be_v act_n of_o goodness_n that_o be_v infinite_o above_o we_o yet_o worthy_a of_o thou_o that_o delight_v to_o magnify_v thy_o goodness_n that_o rejoic_a over_o thy_o people_n as_o the_o bridegroom_n rejoice_v over_o his_o bride_n despise_v the_o world_n what_o be_v the_o thing_n of_o this_o world_n o_o my_o soul_n what_o be_v there_o here_o to_o be_v desire_v but_o sin_n and_o misery_n snare_n and_o temptation_n vanity_n of_o vanity_n and_o vexation_n of_o spirit_n one_o hour_n communion_n with_o god_n and_o the_o joy_n of_o the_o holy_a ghost_n that_o he_o have_v give_v to_o his_o people_n in_o this_o world_n be_v worth_n more_o than_o the_o world_n can_v know_v of_o why_o do_v we_o spend_v our_o strength_n and_o money_n for_o that_o which_o be_v not_o bread_n and_o our_o labour_n for_o that_o which_o do_v not_o satisfy_v o_o vain_a world_n god_n have_v out_o bid_v thou_o thou_o offere_v trifle_n he_o offer_v i_o heaven_n for_o my_o love_n and_o service_n though_o my_o love_n be_v unworthy_a too_o little_a for_o he_o yet_o it_o be_v too_o much_o too_o good_a for_o thou_o 3._o long_o for_o and_o breathe_v after_o heaven_n as_o the_o hartpant_v after_o the_o water-book_n so_o pant_v my_o soul_n after_o thou_o o_o god_n my_o soul_n thirst_v for_o god_n for_o the_o live_a god_n when_o shall_v i_o come_v and_o appear_v before_o god_n when_o shall_v i_o be_v deliver_v from_o my_o absence_n from_o thou_o and_o from_o my_o ignorance_n of_o thou_o make_v haste_n o_o my_o belove_a and_o be_v thou_o like_o a_o roe_n or_o a_o young_a hart_n upon_o the_o mountain_n of_o spice_n the_o spirit_n say_v come_v and_o the_o bride_n say_v come_v and_o the_o bridegroom_n say_v sure_o i_o come_v quick_o even_o so_o come_v lord_n jesus_n come_v quick_o 4._o encourage_v and_o stir_v up_o thy_o felt_n to_o the_o love_n and_o service_n of_o god_n come_v o_o my_o soul_n let_v we_o be_v steadfast_a and_o unmovable_a always_o abound_v in_o the_o work_n of_o the_o lord_n forasmuch_o as_o we_o know_v that_o our_o labour_n be_v not_o in_o vain_a in_o the_o lord_n let_v we_o not_o be_v weary_a of_o well_o do_v nor_o of_o the_o labour_n of_o love_n for_o we_o shall_v reap_v if_o we_o faint_v not_o we_o have_v know_v and_o in_o some_o measure_n endeavour_v to_o serve_v god_n thus_o many_o year_n be_v it_o not_o a_o sad_a thing_n for_o the_o want_n of_o continue_v one_o year_n one_o month_n it_o may_v be_v but_o one_o week_n or_o one_o day_n more_o i_o shall_v lose_v all_o my_o hope_n and_o expectation_n of_o glory_n god_n forbid_v o_o my_o soul_n let_v we_o encourage_v ourselves_o in_o the_o lord_n we_o be_v not_o keep_v by_o our_o own_o but_o by_o the_o mighty_a power_n of_o god_n through_o faith_n to_o salvation_n and_o be_v thou_o assure_v of_o this_o that_o the_o first_o minute_n thou_o be_v in_o heaven_n thou_o shall_v have_v such_o full_a measure_n pre'_v down_o heap_v up_o and_o run_v over_o that_o thou_o shall_v break_v forth_o in_o the_o song_n of_o joy_n and_o praise_n to_o
it_o be_v in_o the_o morning_n will_v have_v a_o influence_n upon_o the_o whole_a day_n but_o this_o be_v not_o a_o universal_a rule_n for_o we_o read_v that_o isaac_n go_v forth_o in_o the_o evening_n to_o meditate_v gen._n 24._o 36._o and_o in_o case_n the_o subject_n of_o your_o meditation_n be_v a_o sermon_n than_o it_o may_v be_v the_o best_a time_n be_v immediate_o after_o the_o hear_n of_o it_o before_o your_o affection_n cool_v or_o your_o memory_n fail_v you_o 2._o for_o the_o how_o long_o consider_v the_o part_n of_o meditation_n be_v so_o many_o viz._n preparation_n consideration_n affection_n resolution_n etc._n etc._n and_o none_o of_o they_o be_v to_o be_v pass_v slight_o over_o for_o affection_n be_v not_o so_o quick_o raise_v nor_o be_v we_o to_o cease_v blow_v the_o fire_n as_o soon_o as_o ever_o it_o begin_v to_o flame_n until_o it_o be_v well_o kindle_v half_o a_o hour_n may_v be_v think_v to_o be_v the_o least_o for_o beginner_n and_o a_o hour_n for_o those_o that_o be_v verse_v in_o this_o duty_n but_o there_o be_v two_o rule_n in_o this_o particular_a especial_o to_o be_v observe_v 1._o that_o as_o we_o ought_v not_o to_o leave_v off_o our_o prayer_n before_o that_o temper_n and_o frame_v of_o heart_n be_v wrought_v which_o be_v suitable_a to_o the_o matter_n of_o our_o prayer_n viz._n we_o shall_v not_o leave_v off_o the_o confession_n of_o sin_n till_o our_o heart_n be_v make_v sensible_a of_o and_o humble_a for_o our_o sin_n nor_o shall_v we_o leave_v off_o our_o praise_n until_o our_o heart_n be_v fill_v with_o holy_a admiring_n and_o adore_n of_o god_n and_o inflame_v with_o his_o love_n so_o the_o end_n of_o meditation_n be_v affection_n and_o resolution_n we_o shall_v not_o leave_v off_o until_o those_o be_v wrought_v 2._o as_o in_o private_a prayer_n so_o long_o as_o we_o find_v our_o heart_n enlarge_v by_o the_o pouring_n of_o the_o spirit_n of_o supplication_n upon_o we_o we_o be_v not_o to_o leave_v off_o unless_o by_o our_o continuance_n in_o that_o duty_n we_o must_v omit_v another_o duty_n to_o which_o we_o be_v more_o particular_o oblige_v at_o that_o time_n so_o in_o meditation_n as_o long_o as_o we_o find_v the_o heart_n affect_v we_o be_v to_o continue_v it_o but_o this_o caution_n must_v be_v give_v that_o in_o such_o enlargement_n we_o must_v not_o continue_v they_o long_o generalâ—y_v then_o while_o they_o come_v free_o and_o without_o much_o stray_v and_o compulsion_n for_o that_o honey_n that_o come_v free_o of_o itself_o from_o the_o comb_n be_v pure_a but_o that_o which_o be_v force_v by_o heat_n and_o pressure_n be_v not_o so_o well_o relish_v but_o this_o caution_n be_v for_o extraordinary_a enlargement_n for_o if_o the_o heart_n be_v dead_a we_o must_v use_v all_o mean_n to_o awaken_v it_o but_o as_o fire_n must_v be_v blow_v till_o it_o be_v well_o kindle_v but_o afterward_o blow_v hinder_v the_o boil_a of_o any_o thing_n that_o be_v set_v over_o it_o so_o when_o once_o our_o heart_n be_v inflame_v and_o enlarge_v with_o holy_a affection_n in_o a_o extraordinary_a manner_n it_o be_v but_o a_o hindrance_n of_o our_o affection_n to_o return_v to_o the_o meditation_n of_o those_o point_n that_o raise_v they_o chap._n vi_o rule_n for_o the_o subject_a of_o solemn_a meditation_n 1._o by_o no_o mean_n let_v it_o be_v controversy_n for_o that_o will_v turn_v meditation_n into_o study_n 2._o nor_o nice_a speculation_n for_o they_o be_v sapless_a without_o nourishment_n beside_o be_v so_o light_v they_o float_v in_o the_o brain_n have_v no_o weight_n to_o sink_v they_o down_o into_o the_o heart_n and_o indeed_o be_v they_o there_o they_o have_v nothing_o in_o they_o to_o affect_v the_o heart_n withal_o 3._o let_v the_o subject_a of_o meditation_n be_v the_o plain_a powerful_a and_o useful_a truth_n of_o god_n as_o death_n hell_n heaven_n judgement_n mercy_n of_o god_n our_o own_o sin_n the_o love_n and_o suffering_n of_o christ_n etc._n etc._n 4._o let_v the_o subject_a of_o your_o meditation_n be_v that_o that_o be_v most_o suitable_a to_o your_o spiritual_a want_n as_o in_o time_n of_o desertion_n meditate_v most_o of_o the_o love_n and_o mercy_n of_o god_n etc._n etc._n rule_n for_o meditation_n itself_o they_o be_v of_o three_o sort_n 1._o preparatory_a 2._o for_o the_o body_n of_o the_o duty_n 3._o for_o the_o conclusion_n two_o thing_n by_o way_n of_o preparation_n beside_o the_o choice_n of_o the_o subject_a the_o first_o be_v be_v convince_v of_o and_o to_o be_v affect_v with_o the_o presence_n of_o god_n the_o second_o be_v prayer_n for_o assistance_n from_o god_n 2._o for_o the_o body_n meditation_n itself_o it_o consist_v of_o three_o part_n the_o first_o i_o call_v consideration_n which_o be_v nothing_o but_o the_o convince_a our_o heart_n of_o several_a truth_n that_o do_v belong_v to_o that_o subject_a whereof_o we_o meditate_v as_o if_o the_o subject_a of_o our_o meditation_n be_v death_n the_o consideration_n may_v go_v thus_o alas_o o_o my_o soul_n how_o and_o when_o and_o where_o we_o shall_v die_v we_o know_v not_o general_o man_n die_v soon_o than_o they_o expect_v and_o certain_a it_o be_v whensoever_o that_o hour_n come_v we_o must_v bid_v adieu_o to_o honour_n pleasure_n riches_n friend_n and_o at_o last_o our_o own_o body_n etc._n etc._n the_o second_o part_n be_v affection_n whether_o it_o be_v love_n of_o god_n or_o christ_n or_o spiritual_a thing_n despise_v of_o the_o world_n admire_v of_o god_n or_o any_o other_o spiritual_a affection_n the_o three_o part_n be_v resolution_n to_o do_v this_o or_o that_o or_o leave_v this_o or_o that_o now_o this_o be_v the_o most_o proper_a and_o genuine_a way_n of_o meditation_n appear_v by_o this_o 1._o because_o it_o be_v not_o artificial_a and_o such_o as_o require_v learning_n as_o those_o direction_n be_v which_o wish_v we_o to_o consider_v the_o efficient_a final_a formal_a material_a cause_n of_o death_n the_o adjunct_n concomitant_n etc._n etc._n which_o though_o they_o may_v somewhat_o help_v the_o learned_a yet_o such_o hard_a word_n and_o artificial_a method_n fright_v the_o ignorant_a â—_o this_o be_v the_o very_a method_n of_o those_o meditation_n by_o which_o every_o one_o that_o be_v bring_v home_o to_o god_n be_v convert_v for_o the_o first_o thing_n in_o conversion_n be_v our_o be_v convince_v of_o some_o truth_n which_o conviction_n raise_v affection_n for_o if_o the_o truth_n of_o god_n end_n in_o conviction_n and_o go_v no_o no_o further_o nay_o if_o they_o end_v in_o affection_n only_o and_o never_o come_v to_o resolution_n of_o shun_v evil_a and_o do_v good_a conversion_n can_v never_o be_v perfect_v as_o for_o example_n one_o be_v convince_v that_o he_o be_v a_o miserable_a undo_v wretch_n by_o reason_n of_o original_a and_o actual_a abomination_n upon_o this_o conviction_n fear_n and_o sorrow_n be_v raise_v yet_o if_o these_o do_v not_o work_v in_o we_o a_o firm_a resolution_n of_o leave_v those_o sin_n we_o be_v yet_o in_o our_o sin_n and_o unconvert_v 3._o there_o be_v several_a thing_n for_o the_o conclude_a of_o meditation_n as_o shall_v appear_v chap._n vii_o direction_n for_o the_o work_n of_o our_o heart_n to_o be_v convince_v of_o and_o affect_v with_o the_o presence_n of_o god_n for_o be_v convince_v of_o and_o affect_v with_o the_o presence_n of_o god_n it_o may_v thus_o be_v wrought_v 1._o we_o be_v to_o consider_v that_o god_n be_v present_a every_o where_o as_o true_o real_o and_o essential_o as_o he_o be_v in_o heaven_n for_o god_n do_v not_o create_v heaven_n to_o continue_v still_o but_o to_o manifest_v his_o presence_n for_o the_o heaven_n of_o heaven_n be_v not_o able_a to_o contain_v he_o for_o god_n be_v neither_o include_v by_o nor_o exclude_v from_o any_o place_n and_o though_o jacob_n say_v sure_o the_o lord_n be_v in_o this_o place_n and_o i_o know_v it_o not_o gen._n 28._o 16._o yet_o we_o must_v not_o imagine_v that_o jacob_n be_v ignorant_a of_o that_o truth_n but_o do_v not_o actual_o consider_v it_o but_o david_n in_o the_o 139_o psalm_n be_v clear_a in_o explain_v and_o clear_v up_o the_o omnipresence_n of_o god_n 2._o we_o must_v consider_v that_o god_n do_v more_o peculiarly_a observe_v his_o people_n while_o they_o be_v perform_v of_o heavenly_a duty_n whether_o it_o be_v while_o they_o be_v speak_v unto_o he_o or_o he_o speak_v unto_o they_o he_o do_v then_o more_o especial_o observe_v the_o motion_n and_o frame_n of_o their_o heart_n as_o when_o we_o be_v in_o any_o company_n we_o do_v more_o especial_o look_v upon_o and_o observe_v those_o to_o who_o we_o speak_v or_o who_o speak_v to_o we_o yet_o this_o be_v to_o be_v understand_v not_o as_o if_o god_n do_v observe_v we_o more_o at_o one_o time_n then_o another_o in_o respect_n
in_o my_o heart_n and_o sencelesness_n upon_o my_o spirit_n i_o speak_v these_o thing_n ah_o lord_n thou_o have_v scourge_v i_o with_o scorpion_n for_o my_o sin_n do_v increase_v as_o well_o as_o my_o affliction_n these_o affliction_n to_o i_o be_v scorpion_n to_o i_o they_o have_v poison_n in_o they_o and_o at_o once_o i_o be_o scourge_v and_o sting_v with_o they_o a_o sad_a ease_n it_o be_v when_o my_o punishment_n be_v heavy_a than_o i_o can_v bear_v and_o yet_o notwithstanding_o i_o go_v from_o the_o presence_n of_o god_n too_o and_o that_o more_o and_o more_o my_o tear_n dry_v up_o in_o my_o eye_n and_o my_o love_n go_v out_o of_o my_o heart_n as_o soon_o as_o kindle_v when_o the_o candle_n of_o the_o lord_n shine_v upon_o my_o tabernacle_n in_o my_o first_o conversion_n when_o the_o fire_n of_o thy_o love_n be_v kindle_v in_o my_o heart_n i_o have_v have_v some_o discourse_n of_o devotion_n that_o i_o be_v not_o able_a to_o bear_v the_o ravishment_n that_o the_o remembrance_n and_o meditation_n of_o they_o bring_v to_o my_o soul_n now_o almost_o as_o full_a of_o sadness_n as_o then_o of_o joy_n after_o those_o time_n as_o those_o after_o the_o flood_n my_o joy_n and_o the_o act_n and_o work_n of_o my_o grace_n grace_n grow_v very_o short_a live_v in_o comparison_n of_o what_o they_o be_v before_o then_o they_o be_v methusalems_n for_o age_n and_o sampson_n for_o strength_n to_o what_o they_o be_v now_o before_o though_o i_o fall_v spiritual_o sick_a and_o my_o strength_n and_o comfort_n be_v go_v yet_o i_o be_v sensible_a of_o my_o weakness_n it_o be_v a_o pain_n and_o a_o grief_n unto_o i_o that_o i_o can_v not_o walk_v into_o the_o delightful_a garden_n of_o the_o spouse_n and_o to_o the_o sweet_a bed_n of_o his_o spice_n i_o can_v weep_v for_o want_v of_o tear_n if_o not_o i_o can_v mourn_v for_o sorrow_n but_o now_o like_o a_o man_n that_o groan_v and_o struggle_v so_o long_o that_o he_o can_v struggle_v no_o long_o but_o grow_v senseless_a can_v hardly_o be_v perceive_v to_o breathe_v or_o live_v if_o the_o sweet_a music_n shall_v be_v play_v by_o he_o or_o the_o dear_a friend_n in_o the_o world_n shall_v come_v and_o ask_v he_o with_o tear_n in_o his_o eye_n dear_a husband_n or_o dear_a wife_n how_o do_v you_o the_o poor_a sick_a one_o do_v not_o so_o much_o as_o open_v the_o eye_n to_o see_v who_o it_o be_v that_o speak_v or_o if_o open_v they_o they_o be_v present_o heavy_a with_o death_n fall_v down_o again_o and_o he_o die_v so_o be_v it_o with_o my_o poor_a soul_n sometime_o i_o can_v hear_v my_o saviour_n as_o it_o be_v say_v unto_o i_o for_o sometime_o methinks_v i_o see_v he_o about_o my_o sick_a soul_n ah_o poor_a soul_n how_o do_v thou_o do_v be_v my_o joseph_n yet_o live_v but_o alas_o lord_n thou_o know_v i_o have_v scarce_o strength_n or_o life_n to_o lift_v up_o my_o eye_n to_o thou_o lord_n can_v these_o dry_a bone_n live_v can_v these_o dry_a eye_n weep_v can_v this_o freeze_a heart_n be_v inflame_v meditat._n iu._n lord_n i_o be_o ashamed_a to_o consider_v what_o i_o know_v of_o thou_o when_o i_o think_v what_o i_o do_v for_o thou_o ah_o my_o god_n the_o care_n of_o the_o world_n lie_v heavy_a upon_o i_o resolution_n though_o never_o so_o strong_a be_v too_o weak_a to_o overcome_v my_o corruption_n alas_o i_o can_v scarce_o say_v any_o more_o than_o i_o have_v say_v in_o the_o confess_v and_o bewail_v my_o sad_a spiritual_a condition_n though_o i_o have_v say_v nothing_o to_o what_o i_o shall_v say_v have_v i_o not_o tell_v thou_o lord_n with_o tear_n in_o my_o eye_n and_o with_o a_o sad_a heart_n that_o i_o find_v my_o corruption_n get_v ground_n of_o i_o my_o prayer_n my_o tear_n my_o resolution_n and_o some_o endeavour_n do_v resist_v but_o can_v overcome_v they_o these_o keep_v they_o from_o prevail_v so_o soon_o but_o not_o from_o prevail_v i_o humble_o confess_v or_o desire_v so_o to_o do_v that_o i_o may_v complain_v to_o thou_o but_o i_o shall_v add_v to_o my_o abomination_n exceed_o if_o i_o shall_v complain_v of_o thou_o my_o heart_n do_v always_o tempt_v i_o to_o it_o when_o i_o consider_v what_o i_o be_v and_o what_o i_o be_o it_o be_v a_o talon_n of_o lead_n upon_o my_o soul_n yet_o since_o my_o preach_n thou_o be_v glorify_v and_o thy_o people_n edify_v more_o than_o if_o i_o shall_v spend_v all_o my_o time_n in_o private_a meditation_n i_o be_o willing_a to_o submit_v only_o i_o do_v humble_o beseech_v thou_o with_o tear_n in_o my_o eye_n that_o though_o i_o have_v less_o time_n to_o spend_v in_o such_o private_a duty_n yet_o that_o my_o poor_a soul_n may_v not_o lose_v her_o love_n to_o they_o and_o though_o i_o perform_v few_o duty_n i_o may_v not_o perform_v they_o worse_o than_o i_o do_v when_o i_o perform_v more_o meditat._n v._n i_o do_v much_o wonder_n at_o myself_o and_o at_o many_o nay_o some_o what_o at_o all_o christian_n upon_o day_n of_o humiliation_n but_o most_o at_o myself_o to_o hear_v the_o tongue_n of_o a_o poor_a christian_a confess_v and_o his_o eye_n weep_v for_o his_o sin_n and_o speak_v of_o they_o with_o such_o expression_n and_o such_o figh_n that_o one_o will_v think_v sure_o this_o christian_n keep_v a_o strict_a communion_n with_o god_n sure_o he_o will_v not_o sin_v for_o a_o world_n sure_o god_n be_v in_o all_o this_o man_n thought_n and_o yet_o stay_v but_o while_o he_o have_v do_v his_o prayer_n and_o you_o find_v in_o he_o such_o strong_a thought_n word_n and_o action_n that_o be_v almost_o incredible_a loose_a and_o idle_a word_n and_o vain_a thought_n i_o but_o too_o often_o experience_v it_o and_o make_v it_o even_o past_a hope_n it_o shall_v be_v otherwise_o with_o i_o if_o any_o town_n that_o be_v straight_o besiege_v with_o cruel_a enemy_n shall_v send_v for_o aid_n to_o such_o or_o such_o and_o when_o they_o come_v they_o shall_v send_v out_o most_o of_o the_o town_n to_o join_v with_o the_o enemy_n against_o those_o that_o come_v to_o help_v they_o what_o shall_v we_o say_v of_o such_o people_n lord_n just_o thus_o be_v we_o we_o have_v a_o world_n of_o corruption_n and_o temptation_n sin_n and_o hell_n and_o satan_n all_o beset_v we_o and_o violent_o assault_v we_o we_o pray_v for_o the_o help_n of_o god_n against_o they_o day_n after_o day_n we_o send_v our_o prayer_n to_o heaven_n for_o assistance_n well_o god_n do_v send_v his_o holy_a spirit_n to_o help_v his_o poor_a soul_n in_o the_o ministry_n of_o the_o word_n tell_v we_o what_o we_o shall_v do_v to_o overcome_v these_o enemy_n and_o send_v many_o motion_n of_o the_o spirit_n to_o bring_v into_o our_o soul_n grace_v to_o strengthen_v we_o we_o will_v not_o do_v what_o he_o advise_v we_o to_o do_v nay_o but_o we_o take_v part_n with_o our_o corruption_n and_o resist_v and_o fight_v against_o the_o power_n of_o â—he_n world_n to_o come_v o_o thy_o patience_n be_v not_o to_o be_v understand_v i_o be_o weary_a to_o think_v before_o i_o go_v to_o prayer_n how_o little_a fruit_n i_o expect_v from_o they_o i_o pray_v and_o pray_v and_o weep_v and_o hear_v and_o sigh_v and_o confess_v these_o as_o well_o as_o other_o of_o my_o sin_n and_o yet_o as_o a_o ship_n in_o the_o sea_n they_o do_v divide_v my_o corruption_n for_o the_o present_a but_o they_o present_o return_v to_o their_o former_a course_n lord_n do_v not_o the_o bowel_n of_o thy_o compassion_n yern_v within_o thou_o to_o see_v i_o thy_o poor_a servant_n in_o such_o a_o miserable_a condition_n as_o i_o be_o in_o do_v not_o thou_o see_v how_o sin_n and_o corruption_n do_v as_o it_o be_v lie_v gnaw_v upon_o i_o and_o eat_v up_o my_o very_a flesh_n and_o destroy_v my_o soul_n and_o i_o have_v neither_o hand_n nor_o foot_n to_o move_v against_o they_o lord_n who_o be_v it_o that_o must_v make_v i_o hate_v corruption_n be_v it_o not_o thy_o spirit_n who_o must_v overcome_v my_o resist_n of_o thy_o spirit_n be_v it_o not_o thy_o spirit_n lord_n i_o do_v not_o know_v in_o the_o world_n what_o to_o do_v to_o leave_v off_o strive_v be_v not_o only_o to_o despair_v of_o thy_o goodness_n because_o thou_o do_v not_o help_v as_o much_o and_o when_o i_o will_v and_o beside_o if_o i_o can_v get_v ground_n nay_o though_o notwithstanding_o i_o lose_v ground_n yet_o doubtless_o i_o shall_v not_o go_v so_o swift_o down_o the_o stream_n as_o if_o i_o strive_v not_o at_o all_o if_o i_o must_v be_v forsake_v by_o thou_o to_o all_o eternity_n yet_o lord_n let_v i_o not_o while_o i_o live_v so_o fall_v that_o i_o shall_v be_v a_o scandal_n to_o religion_n alas_o be_v it_o come_v to_o this_o o_o my_o soul_n
for_o i_o that_o thou_o have_v do_v for_o i_o bless_a god_n do_v but_o make_v i_o thou_o meditat._n xiii_o in_o the_o most_o serious_a address_n of_o my_o soul_n to_o take_v hold_n upon_o god_n i_o find_v a_o unhappy_a frozenness_n benumb_v the_o best_a of_o my_o devotion_n and_o thereby_o i_o show_v either_o that_o i_o be_o extreme_o ignorant_a of_o thou_o lord_n or_o what_o be_v worse_o senseless_a of_o thou_o the_o truth_n be_v i_o may_v just_o tremble_v when_o i_o come_v to_o keep_v any_o day_n of_o humiliation_n in_o thy_o sight_n not_o only_o because_o of_o the_o desperate_a sin_n i_o be_o guilty_a of_o but_o especial_o because_o such_o duty_n do_v work_v little_a or_o nothing_o upon_o i_o and_o this_o be_v sure_a enough_o that_o those_o ordinance_n that_o do_v not_o soften_v do_v harden_v i_o be_o in_o a_o great_a straight_o my_o conscience_n drive_v i_o upon_o duty_n and_o i_o dare_v not_o omit_v they_o and_o yet_o my_o heart_n be_v so_o hard_a and_o filthy_a that_o they_o do_v not_o purify_v i_o so_o i_o be_o more_o defile_v than_o before_o ah_o my_o god_n thou_o know_v what_o affliction_n be_v bitter_a and_o strong_a enough_o to_o purge_v these_o corruption_n lord_n send_v they_o and_o though_o i_o be_o so_o vile_a that_o i_o do_v not_o now_o fervent_o and_o earnest_o enough_o desire_n to_o be_v cure_v but_o yet_o lord_n i_o know_v my_o want_n of_o desire_n of_o reformation_n be_v one_o of_o my_o great_a corruption_n i_o desire_v to_o be_v cure_v of_o that_o or_o at_o least_o lord_n thy_o fatherly_a goodness_n i_o hope_v will_v take_v care_n to_o cure_v i_o of_o that_o and_o lord_n this_o i_o know_v that_o when_o thou_o shall_v send_v any_o such_o affliction_n upon_o i_o i_o shall_v it_o be_v too_o likely_a murmur_n and_o be_v weary_a of_o the_o chastisement_n of_o the_o lord_n it_o may_v be_v i_o shall_v pray_v for_o the_o take_n off_o of_o that_o corrosive_n before_o it_o have_v eat_v away_o that_o deadness_n of_o heart_n and_o other_o corruption_n that_o now_o lie_v upon_o i_o yet_o lord_n do_v not_o yield_v to_o such_o prayer_n go_v on_o with_o thy_o cure_n and_o if_o i_o be_v impatient_a cure_v that_o corruption_n also_o and_o every_o other_o corruption_n that_o shall_v appear_v in_o the_o time_n of_o cure_n of_o any_o corruption_n i_o shall_v bless_v thou_o one_o day_n for_o not_o hear_v and_o not_o grant_v such_o prayer_n as_o shall_v be_v for_o my_o spiritual_a harm_n lord_n death_n be_v very_o bitter_a unto_o i_o sure_o it_o will_v not_o be_v so_o bitter_a if_o there_o be_v no_o root_n of_o bitterness_n in_o i_o if_o i_o keep_v a_o strict_a communion_n with_o thou_o in_o this_o world_n i_o shall_v long_o for_o a_o full_a communion_n with_o thou_o in_o heaven_n for_o ever_o meditat._n xiii_o alas_o oh_o my_o soul_n may_v not_o i_o just_o spend_v the_o remainder_n of_o my_o day_n in_o sigh_v to_o perceive_v my_o good_a from_o who_o presence_n i_o have_v in_o former_a time_n have_v so_o much_o grace_n and_o comfort_n to_o be_v such_o a_o stranger_n now_o to_o i_o and_o what_o be_v worse_o my_o heart_n so_o senseless_a of_o his_o absence_n the_o time_n have_v be_v when_o my_o heart_n have_v almost_o bleed_v within_o i_o to_o think_v what_o a_o miserable_a condition_n i_o shall_v be_v in_o if_o ever_o it_o shall_v come_v to_o pass_v that_o it_o shall_v be_v thus_o lord_n why_o do_v thou_o absent_v thyself_o from_o my_o poor_a soul_n if_o i_o be_v in_o a_o desertion_n of_o comfort_n i_o be_v in_o a_o far_o better_a condition_n but_o to_o be_v in_o a_o desertion_n of_o grace_n and_o not_o to_o be_v trouble_v be_v a_o sad_a condition_n me_n think_v i_o see_v my_o stock_n of_o grace_n grow_v weak_a and_o weak_a and_o more_o and_o more_o to_o languish_v as_o one_o that_o be_v die_v the_o pulse_n grow_v weak_a and_o weak_a until_o at_o last_o it_o be_v no_o more_o o_o lord_n what_o to_o say_v i_o do_v not_o know_v alas_o i_o can_v but_o call_v and_o cry_v &_o pray_v lord_n if_o ever_o thou_o will_v take_v pity_n upon_o a_o poor_a miserable_a speechless_a sinner_n lord_n if_o thou_o will_v that_o i_o may_v overcome_v lord_n i_o can_v get_v my_o heart_n to_o be_v content_a to_o be_v damn_v and_o indeed_o since_o then_o i_o must_v eternal_o be_v separate_v from_o thou_o i_o do_v not_o desire_v to_o get_v my_o heart_n to_o be_v content_a but_o to_o struggle_v against_o it_o as_o long_o as_o i_o be_o able_a meditat._n fourteen_o to_o have_v satan_n and_o corruption_n come_v and_o beset_v i_o as_o soon_o as_o i_o awake_v and_o to_o follow_v i_o all_o the_o day_n long_o and_o go_v to_o bed_n with_o i_o and_o to_o keep_v i_o wake_v to_o have_v no_o respite_n be_v a_o sad_a condition_n when_o i_o shall_v awake_v with_o my_o god_n my_o good_a god_n who_o keep_v i_o and_o watch_v over_o i_o while_o i_o sleep_v to_o have_v satan_n stand_v ready_a and_o hold_v his_o temptation_n before_o my_o eye_n which_o way_n soever_o i_o look_v and_o to_o prevail_v so_o far_o with_o i_o as_o at_o last_o to_o make_v i_o scarce_o to_o hate_v the_o sin_n he_o tempt_v i_o to_o i_o feel_v in_o my_o spiritual_a part_n a_o utter_a abhor_v of_o the_o sin_n i_o will_v give_v ten_o thousand_o world_n rather_o than_o commit_v the_o sin_n and_o yet_o i_o have_v much_o ado_n to_o refrain_v alas_o can_v my_o secure_a soul_n live_v meditat._n xv._n i_o be_o in_o such_o a_o wretched_a temper_n as_o to_o be_v willing_a to_o offend_v my_o god_n and_o when_o i_o go_v about_o to_o grieve_v sorrow_n be_v far_o from_o i_o nay_o the_o grief_n which_o sometime_o i_o feel_v be_v not_o strong_a enough_o to_o conquer_v the_o temptation_n when_o tear_n stand_v in_o my_o eye_n to_o consider_v the_o miserable_a condition_n of_o my_o soul_n in_o be_v so_o proâ—e_v to_o sin_n the_o temptation_n increase_v to_o hear_v one_o of_o thy_o servant_n groan_v under_o thy_o hand_n and_o then_o to_o stand_v parly_v with_o temptation_n and_o not_o rather_o be_v afraid_a that_o the_o same_o affliction_n etc._n etc._n lord_n i_o be_o in_o thy_o hand_n for_o affliction_n lay_v what_o thou_o will_v upon_o i_o i_o must_v bear_v it_o and_o i_o will_v bear_v it_o patient_o nay_o lord_n though_o this_o temptation_n be_v such_o a_o unwelcome_a guest_n and_o i_o be_o two_o weary_a of_o it_o yet_o so_o thou_o will_v give_v i_o grace_n to_o overcome_v my_o impatience_n i_o be_o content_a lord_n as_o much_o as_o i_o can_v but_o alas_o my_o god_n to_o have_v satan_n my_o companion_n instead_o of_o my_o god_n i_o hope_v will_v never_o be_v please_v to_o i_o meditat._v xvi_o lord_n what_o vain_a heart_n think_v of_o thou_o it_o matter_n not_o except_o it_o be_v to_o discover_v the_o wretchedness_n of_o it_o thou_o have_v more_o glorious_a creature_n to_o praise_v thou_o my_o praise_n and_o my_o thought_n of_o thou_o be_v so_o low_a and_o so_o unworthy_a of_o thou_o that_o thou_o may_v forbid_v i_o as_o thou_o do_v the_o devil_n to_o confess_v thou_o or_o to_o say_v any_o thing_n of_o thou_o my_o dear_a god_n if_o a_o world_n will_v buy_v it_o for_o one_o such_o sight_n of_o thou_o as_o may_v so_o ravish_v my_o soul_n that_o i_o may_v never_o more_o see_v any_o beauty_n or_o taste_v any_o sweetness_n in_o any_o thing_n but_o in_o thou_o that_o i_o may_v see_v thou_o with_o open_a face_n that_o i_o may_v be_v transform_v into_o thy_o image_n from_o glory_n to_o glory_n lord_n thou_o be_v still_o beyond_o i_o the_o high_a my_o thought_n be_v of_o thou_o the_o more_o thou_o be_v beyond_o i_o and_o above_o i_o when_o my_o thought_n be_v best_a my_o thought_n be_v lose_v in_o the_o meditation_n of_o thou_o as_o the_o stone_n that_o be_v throw_v into_o the_o calm_a sea_n make_v great_a and_o great_a circle_n but_o can_v never_o reach_v the_o shore_n lord_n i_o be_o content_a i_o may_v be_v lose_v in_o myself_o so_o i_o may_v find_v thou_o lord_n though_o there_o be_v none_o but_o thou_o and_o i_o in_o the_o world_n i_o have_v enough_o nay_o though_o there_o be_v none_o but_o thou_o and_o i_o in_o heaven_n i_o have_v enough_o enough_o though_o i_o have_v nothing_o to_o say_v to_o thou_o but_o what_o i_o have_v say_v a_o thousand_o time_n thou_o be_v my_o god_n my_o saviour_n my_o all_o thou_o be_v he_o who_o my_o soul_n love_v yet_o though_o i_o have_v nothing_o else_o to_o say_v nor_o case_n there_o be_v any_o new_a relish_n yet_o i_o delight_v to_o be_v alone_o with_o thou_o nay_o though_o thou_o say_v nothing_o to_o my_o poor_a soul_n but_o what_o i_o have_v hear_v from_o thou_o yet_o let_v i_o still_o be_v in_o thy_o company_n i_o have_v
that_o inflame_v all_o thy_o angel_n with_o love_n i_o have_v no_o way_n but_o to_o come_v before_o thy_o presence_n in_o hope_n that_o at_o the_o last_o shall_v be_v thaw_v if_o not_o inflame_v thou_o will_v not_o put_v out_o the_o smoke_a snuff_n of_o a_o candle_n i_o be_o such_o a_o one_o enlighten_v and_o inflame_v though_o now_o i_o send_v forth_o nothing_o but_o a_o unsavoury_a stench_n what_o shall_v i_o stand_v imperfect_a as_o i_o be_o thus_o speak_v what_o i_o may_v and_o what_o i_o have_v to_o lay_v to_o my_o god_n lord._n thou_o have_v command_v in_o thy_o word_n that_o if_o a_o adulterer_n defile_v a_o woman_n and_o she_o cry_v not_o out_o than_o he_o shall_v be_v put_v to_o death_n lord_n infidelity_n hypocrisy_n and_o vainglory_n be_v come_v to_o undo_v i_o to_o defile_v my_o soul_n and_o they_o have_v almost_o persuade_v my_o soul_n not_o to_o cry_v out_o to_o be_v ravish_v be_v a_o great_a affliction_n but_o to_o embrace_v the_o adulterer_n be_v a_o abomination_n if_o i_o cry_v to_o man_n for_o succour_n if_o i_o go_v to_o ordinance_n alas_o the_o adulterer_n be_v a_o strong_a man_n he_o have_v lock_v the_o door_n of_o my_o soul_n and_o none_o can_v break_v they_o open_v but_o thou_o only_o lord_n do_v not_o thou_o stand_v knock_v at_o the_o door_n of_o my_o heart_n for_o the_o strong_a man_n will_v not_o and_o i_o be_o keep_v so_o fast_o by_o my_o corruption_n i_o can_v come_v to_o let_v thou_o in_o lord_n break_v open_a the_o door_n and_o come_v in_o to_o help_v i_o before_o i_o be_o utter_o undo_v as_o it_o be_v with_o the_o levite_n concubine_n so_o will_v it_o be_v with_o my_o poor_a soul_n corruption_n after_o corruption_n and_o sin_n after_o sin_n will_v so_o abuse_v she_o that_o she_o will_v be_v at_o last_o dead_a alas_o i_o think_v i_o look_v upon_o my_o poor_a soul_n as_o one_o look_n upon_o a_o ship_n toss_v among_o rock_n in_o the_o sea_n one_o see_v it_o and_o pity_v it_o but_o know_v not_o how_o to_o help_v it_o there_o come_v a_o wave_n and_o carry_v it_o with_o violence_n among_o the_o midst_n of_o the_o rock_n and_o make_v it_o reel_v and_o stagger_v like_o a_o drunken_a man_n and_o then_o all_o in_o the_o ship_n be_v fain_o to_o pump_v and_o toil_n to_o save_v their_o life_n at_o last_o it_o be_v dash_v in_o piece_n and_o all_o fain_a to_o get_v upon_o break_a piece_n of_o the_o ship_n to_o swim_v to_o the_o shore_n if_o it_o may_v be_v my_o soul_n be_v even_o labour_v for_o life_n lord_n what_o will_v thou_o do_v will_v thou_o be_v as_o a_o man_n astonish_v and_o as_o a_o mighty_a man_n that_o can_v help_v then_o i_o be_o undo_v than_o i_o may_v say_v if_o thou_o will_v not_o then_o farewell_n all_o my_o duty_n farewell_o all_o my_o grace_n and_o all_o my_o comfort_n which_o i_o have_v have_v in_o the_o dear_a embrace_n of_o my_o god_n ah_o must_v i_o not_o pray_v but_o with_o my_o tongue_n mast_n i_o have_v no_o more_o comfort_n but_o what_o poor_a creature_n can_v give_v i_o lord_n if_o i_o must_v perish_v let_v i_o perish_v in_o thy_o way_n let_v i_o convert_v many_o unto_o thou_o though_o i_o know_v my_o damnation_n shall_v be_v great_a if_o i_o perish_v for_o live_v so_o contrary_a to_o i_o own_o doctrine_n lord_n i_o be_o a_o poor_a miserable_a man_n and_o a_o more_o miserable_a christian_a thou_o be_v i_o can_v possible_o imagine_v what_o but_o i_o hope_v lord_n i_o shall_v know_v these_o day_n of_o ignorance_n and_o sin_n will_v not_o always_o last_o when_o my_o change_n come_v i_o shall_v nomore_o sin_v and_o repent_v and_o repent_v and_o sin_n as_o i_o do_v now_o oh_o my_o corruption_n i_o hope_v one_o day_n i_o shall_v leave_v you_o all_o in_o the_o grave_a behind_o i_o the_o day_n be_v come_v when_o while_o i_o be_o praise_v god_n you_o shall_v not_o come_v and_o lie_v as_o a_o talon_n of_o lead_n upon_o my_o soul_n and_o hinder_v my_o flight_n come_v lord_n jesus_n come_v quick_o come_v while_o my_o soul_n be_v fill_v with_o joy_n to_o think_v of_o thy_o come_n o_o my_o god_n thou_o be_v enough_o for_o i_o for_o my_o soul_n can_v hold_v no_o more_o lord_n i_o be_o afraid_a of_o the_o joy_n sometime_o i_o have_v to_o think_v of_o thou_o tear_n for_o my_o sin_n be_v fit_a for_o i_o then_o tear_n of_o joy_n yet_o i_o dare_v not_o refuse_v they_o nay_o i_o can_v if_o i_o will_v they_o be_v so_o sweet_a so_o sweet_a heaven_n be_v but_o a_o great_a measure_n of_o they_o lord_n thou_o be_v enough_o enough_o for_o they_o that_o love_v thou_o meditat._v xxii_o to_o see_v a_o dead_a man_n array_v with_o all_o the_o rich_a clothes_n still_o there_o be_v more_o horror_n to_o behold_v he_o then_o delight_n so_o my_o poor_a soul_n look_v ghastly_a in_o all_o the_o duty_n i_o perform_v i_o have_v a_o cold_a and_o dead_a soul_n for_o all_o they_o and_o more_o terror_n there_o be_v in_o the_o deadness_n then_o there_o be_v comfort_n in_o the_o multitude_n of_o they_o this_o i_o know_v by_o experience_n yet_o christ_n be_v not_o sweet_a unto_o i_o my_o dear_a saviour_n to_o who_o i_o be_v so_o dear_a lord_n jesus_n give_v i_o a_o heart_n that_o may_v feel_v thy_o sweetness_n i_o be_o convince_v that_o thou_o be_v so_o but_o my_o poor_a heart_n have_v not_o enough_o taste_v the_o sweetness_n of_o this_o truth_n that_o all_o thing_n be_v dross_n and_o dung_n in_o comparison_n of_o christ_n lord_n here_o be_v my_o estate_n my_o health_n my_o life_n my_o liberty_n and_o all_o that_o i_o have_v and_o have_v i_o more_o i_o will_v free_o give_v all_o give_v but_o such_o a_o heart_n as_o i_o desire_v and_o the_o same_o will_v i_o consecrate_v unto_o thou_o in_o spiritual_a affection_n all_o my_o day_n now_o i_o think_v thus_o with_o myself_o when_o i_o be_v most_o desirous_a of_o and_o addict_v to_o humane_a learning_n it_o be_v wonderful_a delightful_a to_o i_o to_o be_v instruct_v in_o some_o new_a truth_n or_o to_o have_v some_o difficult_a question_n clear_o resolve_v to_o read_v the_o mathematics_n be_v wonderful_a delightful_a because_o they_o prove_v such_o strange_a thing_n than_o i_o have_v recourse_n to_o the_o word_n of_o god_n and_o by_o that_o i_o be_o assure_v that_o all_o the_o treasure_n of_o wisdom_n and_o knowledge_n be_v hide_v in_o christ_n and_o in_o his_o gospel_n then_o further_o i_o have_v recourse_n to_o the_o experience_n of_o the_o people_n of_o god_n in_o the_o word_n of_o god_n and_o in_o particular_a to_o paul_n who_o be_v a_o learned_a man_n yet_o account_v all_o thing_n as_o dross_n and_o dung_n in_o comparison_n of_o christ_n i_o have_v also_o recourse_n to_o the_o experience_n of_o several_a godly_a person_n i_o know_v of_o the_o abundant_a sweetness_n and_o excellency_n of_o the_o knowledge_n of_o christ_n therefore_o lord_n though_o i_o have_v not_o at_o this_o present_a the_o power_n and_o ravish_a feeling_n of_o christ_n excellency_n yet_o assure_v myself_o all_o these_o way_n whereby_o i_o full_o do_v assent_v to_o that_o truth_n that_o it_o be_v life_n eternal_a to_o know_v thou_o and_o jesus_n christ_n i_o do_v beseech_v thou_o o_o lord_n to_o give_v i_o a_o full_a knowledge_n of_o thou_o in_o christ_n i_o beseech_v thou_o i_o beseech_v thou_o let_v not_o my_o undervalue_v of_o this_o knowledge_n cause_v thou_o to_o deny_v it_o i_o shall_v more_o value_v it_o if_o i_o have_v more_o of_o it_o lord_n i_o know_v if_o thou_o shall_v look_v in_o i_o and_o my_o life_n to_o see_v what_o thou_o can_v find_v to_o hinder_v the_o grant_n of_o this_o request_n thou_o may_v find_v enough_o nay_o i_o that_o know_v myself_o not_o so_o well_o as_o thou_o do_v know_v enough_o and_o enough_o nay_o i_o know_v nothing_o to_o move_v thou_o in_o myself_o except_o something_o i_o have_v have_v from_o thou_o those_o thing_n i_o have_v so_o abuse_v that_o i_o know_v they_o may_v be_v swift_a witness_n against_o i_o but_o lord_n if_o thou_o shall_v give_v i_o this_o knowledge_n of_o they_o i_o may_v do_v great_a thing_n for_o thou_o lord_n hear_v i_o alas_o lord_n my_o desire_n to_o know_v christ_n do_v even_o die_v while_o i_o be_o pray_v to_o know_v he_o alas_o lord_n such_o a_o heart_n as_o i_o have_v be_v fit_a for_o none_o but_o thou_o for_o none_o in_o the_o world_n can_v tell_v what_o to_o do_v with_o it_o but_o thou_o only_o it_o be_v past_o the_o skill_n of_o all_o in_o heaven_n and_o earth_n but_o thou_o it_o be_v not_o in_o the_o power_n of_o ordinance_n and_o duty_n if_o thou_o shall_v not_o set_v in_o i_o will_v pity_v the_o soul_n of_o my_o great_a enemy_n if_o i_o shall_v see_v it_o in_o
such_o continual_a storm_n &_o trouble_v as_o be_v in_o i_o there_o be_v new_a corruption_n appear_v such_o as_o i_o may_v term_v they_o nothing_o so_o fit_o as_o spark_n of_o of_o the_o fire_n of_o hell_n to_o have_v one_o heart_n rise_v against_o god_n when_o the_o continual_a desire_n of_o one_o soul_n and_o prayer_n be_v that_o one_o may_v be_v inflame_v with_o the_o love_n of_o god_n lord_n while_o i_o be_o work_v my_o heart_n to_o a_o serious_a thought_n of_o thou_o endeavour_v to_o have_v my_o heart_n full_a of_o admiration_n of_o thou_o and_o affiance_n in_o thou_o before_o i_o pray_v unto_o thou_o that_o if_o it_o may_v be_v my_o prayer_n may_v be_v as_o a_o arrow_n draw_v up_o to_o the_o head_n but_o when_o i_o go_v about_o to_o pray_v and_o send_v up_o my_o petition_n my_o thought_n of_o thy_o glory_n and_o goodness_n slack_v and_o it_o fare_v with_o i_o oh_o my_o soul_n as_o sometime_o it_o do_v with_o one_o that_o be_v tie_v knot_n when_o one_o have_v pull_v the_o first_o very_o hard_o yet_o it_o slack_v before_o one_o can_v tie_v the_o second_o it_o i_o keep_v but_o a_o strict_a communion_n with_o thou_o and_o do_v as_o thou_o desire_v lord_n why_o shall_v thou_o desire_v we_o always_o to_o be_v with_o thou_o how_o shall_v we_o be_v acquaint_v with_o thou_o far_o more_o than_o we_o be_v and_o if_o we_o know_v thou_o more_o how_o shoould_v we_o love_v thou_o more_o and_o if_o we_o love_v thou_o more_o how_o shall_v we_o know_v thou_o more_o for_o thou_o reveale_v thyself_o to_o they_o that_o love_v thou_o alas_o o_o my_o soul_n why_o shall_v not_o we_o always_o be_v with_o god_n since_o he_o give_v we_o leave_v how_o gracious_a be_v thou_o to_o invite_v such_o sinner_n as_o we_o be_v to_o come_v to_o thou_o for_o thou_o to_o wash_v our_o soul_n clean_o with_o the_o immaculate_a blood_n of_o the_o lord_n jesus_n christ_n alas_o lord_n i_o be_o i_o own_o enemy_n nay_o i_o see_v it_o and_o know_v it_o and_o it_o can_v be_v otherwise_o lord_n i_o be_o so_o tire_v out_o with_o my_o corruption_n that_o i_o be_o even_o weary_a of_o my_o life_n and_o almost_o weary_a of_o my_o duty_n lord_n even_o at_o this_o present_a how_o when_o my_o â—oul_n be_v so_o trouble_v that_o i_o 〈…〉_z be_v ready_a to_o weep_v there_o 〈◊〉_d a_o thought_n of_o a_o poor_a worldly_a business_n into_o my_o soul_n and_o my_o thought_n and_o sorrow_n for_o heavenly_a matter_n be_v go_v meditat._v xxiii_o o_o my_o god_n how_o cold_o without_o love_n how_o doubt_o without_o faith_n do_v i_o call_v thou_o my_o god_n lord_n how_o careless_a be_o i_o in_o thy_o service_n how_o very_o careless_a how_o long_a lord_n holy_a and_o true_a shall_v i_o be_v thus_o lade_v with_o corruption_n nay_o which_o be_v my_o great_a misery_n i_o be_o not_o but_o very_o little_a sensible_a of_o my_o own_o vileness_n that_o make_v i_o that_o i_o do_v not_o hunger_n after_o righteousness_n bless_a lord_n i_o do_v humble_o prostrate_v my_o soul_n before_o thou_o and_o do_v with_o all_o the_o weak_a power_n of_o my_o soul_n importune_v the_o merit_n of_o my_o dear_a saviour_n i_o pray_v thou_o to_o look_v upon_o i_o in_o mercy_n when_o the_o poor_a wound_a man_n that_o go_v from_o jerusalem_n to_o jericho_n lay_v half_a dead_a and_o speechless_a in_o the_o way_n though_o he_o be_v not_o sensible_a of_o his_o misery_n yet_o the_o good_a samaritan_n be_v though_o in_o his_o tongue_n do_v not_o can_v not_o call_v for_o pity_n yet_o his_o wound_n open_v their_o mouth_n wide_a and_o speak_v aloud_o to_o the_o samaritan_n though_o his_o eye_n shed_v no_o tear_n yet_o his_o heart_n weep_v blood_n at_o his_o wound_n and_o move_v compassion_n like_o to_o that_o poor_a wound_a man_n i_o be_o so_o weak_a so_o sick_a that_o i_o be_o scarce_o sensible_a of_o my_o own_o desperate_a condition_n lord_n though_o my_o heart_n be_v not_o full_a of_o love_n it_o be_v full_a of_o wound_n lord_n thou_o know_v my_o misery_n i_o humble_o beseech_v thou_o to_o pity_v i_o not_o according_a to_o my_o prayer_n but_o according_a to_o my_o want_n lord_n that_o i_o do_v not_o desire_v to_o serve_v thou_o that_o i_o do_v not_o hunger_n nor_o thirst_n after_o righteousness_n it_o be_v the_o great_a misery_n that_o i_o have_v meditat._v xxiv_o oh_o how_o terrible_a be_v the_o thought_n of_o death_n to_o i_o be_v it_o not_o so_o much_o for_o want_v of_o faith_n as_o holiness_n and_o indeed_o i_o find_v that_o i_o can_v never_o with_o comfort_n think_v on_o death_n but_o when_o i_o have_v live_v very_o holy_o before_o for_o what_o will_v faith_n in_o that_o case_n help_v i_o without_o holiness_n for_o faith_n without_o holiness_n be_v not_o faith_n but_o presumption_n oh_o how_o sweet_a how_o dear_a how_o excellent_a a_o thing_n be_v holiness_n oh_o how_o full_a of_o peace_n and_o joy_n be_v my_o soul_n when_o i_o be_o full_a of_o that_o and_o yet_o lord_n how_o careless_a be_o i_o of_o thy_o service_n how_o many_o time_n in_o the_o day_n when_o i_o may_v think_v of_o thou_o without_o any_o hindrance_n of_o my_o study_n do_v i_o choose_v rather_o to_o think_v of_o vanity_n o_o wean_v my_o soul_n o_o god_n from_o every_o thing_n that_o be_v not_o thou_o fill_v my_o heart_n with_o thyself_o dwell_v in_o i_o my_o dear_a god_n why_o do_v i_o call_v thou_o dear_a when_o i_o prefer_v every_o trifle_n before_o thou_o o_o most_o glorious_a lord_n god_n who_o ten_o thousand_o world_n can_v sufficient_o praise_v nor_o love_n which_o be_v thyself_o and_o can_v be_v no_o more_o nor_o can_v be_v no_o less_o how_o easy_a lord_n be_v it_o for_o thou_o to_o change_v my_o heart_n my_o heart_n of_o stone_n for_o a_o heart_n of_o flesh_n lord_n as_o long_o as_o i_o have_v this_o heart_n of_o stone_n there_o be_v no_o hope_n that_o i_o shall_v serve_v thou_o with_o any_o cheerfulness_n or_o any_o constancy_n lord_n hear_v my_o prayer_n meditat._v xxv_o o_o bless_a god_n if_o the_o way_n of_o thy_o providence_n be_v such_o that_o thou_o will_v not_o give_v so_o much_o grace_n as_o to_o make_v i_o through_o the_o abundance_n of_o it_o almost_o whether_o i_o will_v or_o no_o to_o serve_v thou_o yet_o to_o who_o thou_o do_v give_v so_o much_o grace_n as_o to_o desire_v more_o grace_n o_o let_v not_o this_o desire_n which_o be_v of_o thy_o own_o infuse_v be_v in_o vain_a if_o there_o be_v any_o thing_n in_o the_o whole_a world_n that_o i_o desire_v more_o than_o thy_o grace_n then_o let_v i_o want_v grace_n to_o desire_v it_o any_o more_o lord_n if_o the_o reason_n why_o thou_o deny_v my_o prayer_n be_v because_o i_o do_v not_o desire_v as_o i_o ought_v i_o humble_o beseech_v thou_o to_o grant_v that_o i_o ask_v aright_o alas_o my_o affliction_n lie_v heavy_a on_o i_o then_o ever_o they_o do_v and_o i_o be_o more_o wicked_a or_o at_o least_o less_o holy_a than_o ever_o since_o my_o conversion_n i_o be_v how_o little_a be_o i_o affect_v with_o any_o thing_n that_o belong_v to_o thy_o service_n nor_o yet_o do_v it_o affect_v i_o that_o i_o be_o not_o affect_v lord_n if_o there_o be_v any_o in_o heaven_n or_o in_o earth_n that_o can_v help_v i_o beside_o thou_o then_o consider_v my_o manifold_a sin_n i_o shall_v i_o but_o lord_n i_o will_v not_o thy_o mercy_n be_v so_o great_a go_v to_o any_o other_o now_o lord_n now_o be_v the_o time_n to_o have_v mercy_n upon_o i_o i_o be_o like_o the_o man_n that_o go_v from_o jerusalem_n to_o jericho_n wound_v naked_a and_o half_a dead_a i_o can_v call_v for_o help_v o_o let_v my_o wound_n move_v thou_o to_o compassion_n if_o i_o can_v bewail_v my_o sinful_a misery_n with_o tear_n of_o repentance_n i_o know_v thou_o will_v deliver_v i_o but_o i_o can_v weep_v nay_o hardly_o mourn_v oh_o saint_n faint_a be_v my_o grief_n and_o cold_a be_v my_o love_n what_o will_v thou_o do_v lord_n with_o one_o that_o scarce_o from_o his_o heart_n desire_v to_o serve_v thou_o alas_o what_o can_v thou_o do_v for_o i_o more_o or_o less_o then_o to_o make_v i_o desire_v to_o serve_v thou_o accept_v i_o must_v or_o for_o ever_o be_v lose_v what_o a_o low_a degree_n of_o goodness_n be_o i_o come_v unto_o a_o soul_n full_a of_o sadness_n and_o empty_a of_o goodness_n to_o morrow_n lord_n i_o be_o to_o receive_v thou_o into_o my_o soul_n thou_o my_o bless_a saviour_n lord_n thou_o know_v i_o do_v not_o use_v to_o have_v a_o heart_n so_o empty_a of_o goodness_n when_o i_o expect_v thou_o to_o come_v next_o day_n meditat._n xxvi_o lord_n now_o i_o do_v resolve_v to_o serve_v thou_o and_o in_o this_o particular_a especial_o i_o will_v not_o speak_v evil_a of_o any_o
be_v go_v out_o that_o be_v once_o kindle_v in_o i_o all_o the_o fruit_n and_o leave_n and_o bough_n be_v strip_v from_o i_o there_o be_v all_o thing_n to_o do_v beside_o bare_a regeneration_n i_o be_o as_o a_o arm_n cut_v off_o so_o that_o it_o hang_v only_o by_o a_o little_a skin_n a_o slender_a thread_n lord_n this_o be_v my_o hope_n that_o my_o corruption_n and_o satan_n that_o have_v quench_v these_o flame_n that_o i_o have_v have_v shall_v never_o be_v able_a to_o quench_v this_o spark_n but_o alas_o that_o be_v a_o poor_a comfort_n that_o this_o be_v all_o my_o comfort_n that_o i_o shall_v not_o lose_v heaven_n though_o it_o be_v a_o thousand_o time_n too_o great_a a_o comfort_n for_o such_o a_o wretched_a sinner_n as_o i_o be_o to_o have_v it_o it_o nothing_o to_o lose_v all_o my_o comfort_n all_o my_o duty_n all_o my_o sweet_a communion_n with_o thou_o or_o at_o least_o only_o so_o much_o of_o these_o remain_v as_o to_o keep_v i_o from_o be_v utter_o cast_v off_o for_o one_o that_o have_v fare_v delicious_o every_o day_n to_o come_v to_o have_v no_o more_o bread_n then_o to_o keep_v life_n and_o soul_n together_o though_o he_o die_v not_o yet_o he_o have_v a_o miserable_a life_n thus_o thus_o and_o far_o worse_a it_o be_v with_o i_o meditat._n ix_o i._o i_o stand_v clear_a before_o thou_o o_o my_o god_n of_o those_o many_o sin_n of_o sencelesness_n under_o judgement_n fruitlesness_n under_o ordinance_n mispend_v of_o time_n want_v of_o watchfulness_n of_o my_o one_o way_n and_o for_o the_o appear_v of_o the_o lord_n jesus_n christ_n only_o my_o sin_n of_o unkindness_n to_o the_o lord_n jesus_n christ_n be_v enough_o to_o cause_v thou_o to_o take_v away_o thy_o mercy_n from_o i_o i_o have_v hear_v and_o read_v the_o great_a mystery_n of_o my_o redemption_n of_o his_o be_v scourge_v and_o crown_v and_o nail_v of_o his_o bleed_a and_o die_v for_o i_o of_o his_o great_a love_n and_o such_o thing_n that_o if_o a_o friend_n of_o this_o world_n have_v do_v or_o suffer_v the_o thousand_o part_n so_o much_o his_o memory_n will_v have_v be_v precious_a meditat._n x._o ah_o my_o dear_a god_n thou_o have_v be_v my_o god_n and_o therefore_o thou_o be_v my_o god_n how_o little_o can_v my_o soul_n know_v by_o any_o thing_n that_o i_o now_o either_o do_v or_o feel_v i_o be_o fain_a to_o fetch_v evidence_n and_o sign_n from_o action_n do_v many_o year_n since_o my_o prayer_n and_o other_o holy_a duty_n be_v matter_n of_o more_o joy_n when_o i_o do_v they_o than_o now_o they_o have_v terror_n in_o they_o now_o i_o think_v i_o do_v they_o not_o as_o heretofore_o i_o have_v be_v assist_v by_o thy_o grace_n oh_o my_o lose_a joy_n and_o my_o lose_a duty_n where_o i_o shall_v find_v you_o i_o know_v not_o the_o joy_n i_o have_v former_o and_o the_o great_a zeal_n of_o my_o heart_n make_v i_o pray_v but_o now_o not_o out_o of_o feeling_n and_o zeal_n but_o for_o zeal_n and_o joy_n and_o i_o go_v from_o prayer_n with_o a_o sad_a heart_n and_o a_o hard_a heart_n my_o prayer_n come_v neither_o from_o my_o heart_n nor_o reach_n to_o my_o heart_n oh_o my_o lord_n jesus_n christ_n where_o be_v thy_o motion_n and_o the_o joy_n of_o thy_o spirit_n to_o work_v thy_o own_o work_n in_o i_o why_o do_v i_o walk_v in_o this_o valley_n of_o tear_n not_o only_o without_o comfort_n but_o without_o grace_n i_o do_v even_o stand_v astonish_v at_o myself_o to_o see_v the_o vast_a difference_n between_o myself_o now_o and_o when_o i_o be_v thou_o when_o the_o candle_n of_o the_o almighty_a shine_v upon_o my_o soul_n and_o the_o spirit_n of_o my_o god_n dwell_v in_o i_o than_o sorrow_n and_o weep_v fly_v away_o alas_o i_o now_o have_v scarce_o any_o thing_n leave_v i_o but_o carnal_a tear_n and_o one_o great_a cause_n of_o my_o grief_n and_o part_n of_o my_o misery_n be_v that_o i_o can_v weep_v no_o more_o sometime_o indeed_o tear_n stand_v in_o my_o eye_n when_o i_o consider_v these_o thing_n lord_n give_v i_o faith_n o_o give_v i_o faith_n i_o feel_v a_o deal_n of_o atheism_n in_o my_o heart_n my_o heart_n be_v so_o full_a of_o corruption_n of_o all_o kind_n and_o all_o degree_n that_o i_o can_v feel_v no_o bottom_n of_o this_o stink_a ditch_n my_o imagination_n be_v divers_a time_n a_o thoroughfare_a for_o satan_n blasphemous_a thought_n which_o my_o soul_n abhor_v i_o may_v even_o sit_v down_o and_o spend_v the_o remainder_n of_o my_o wicked_a life_n in_o weep_v and_o wail_v and_o wring_v of_o my_o hand_n and_o tear_v off_o the_o hair_n of_o my_o head_n my_o sad_a soul_n may_v say_v to_o my_o god_n be_v thou_o quite_o go_v from_o i_o have_v all_o my_o hope_n of_o thou_o be_v as_o dream_n and_o empty_a shadow_n unto_o i_o and_o have_v thou_o show_v i_o so_o much_o of_o heaven_n and_o will_v thou_o make_v hell_n more_o terrible_a and_o bitter_a to_o i_o shall_v thy_o sweet_a mercy_n be_v turn_v into_o the_o gall_n of_o asp_n to_o i_o not_o only_o to_o be_v bitter_a but_o deadly_a i_o have_v cause_n i_o have_v cause_n lord_n to_o mingle_v my_o drink_n with_o my_o tear_n to_o water_v my_o couch_n with_o weep_v thou_o be_v too_o great_a a_o god_n to_o be_v dally_v withal_o and_o what_o do_v i_o else_o as_o our_o dear_a friend_n though_o we_o never_o so_o much_o delight_v in_o their_o company_n while_o they_o be_v live_v yet_o we_o be_v afraid_a to_o be_v alone_o with_o they_o they_o be_v a_o terror_n to_o we_o after_o the_o soul_n have_v leave_v their_o earthly_a tabernacle_n so_o my_o prayer_n while_o they_o be_v live_v prayer_n be_v a_o great_a comfort_n to_o my_o poor_a soul_n but_o now_o my_o prayer_n be_v without_o life_n and_o my_o supplication_n be_v dead_a they_o be_v a_o terror_n to_o i_o they_o look_v ghastly_a upon_o i_o and_o i_o upon_o they_o meditat._n xi_o my_o dear_a god_n thou_o be_v not_o move_v with_o word_n if_o we_o have_v the_o tongue_n of_o man_n and_o angel_n if_o we_o can_v speak_v as_o never_o man_n speak_v if_o our_o heart_n mean_v no_o more_o than_o they_o do_v what_o will_v our_o vain_a word_n do_v i_o be_o ever_o weary_a of_o my_o life_n because_o of_o my_o corruption_n i_o can_v go_v no_o where_o nor_o do_v any_o thing_n but_o my_o coruption_n follow_v i_o and_o tire_v i_o even_o out_o of_o my_o patience_n o_o that_o i_o can_v weep_v over_o my_o prayer_n to_o see_v how_o dead_a they_o be_v which_o way_n to_o turn_v i_o know_v not_o i_o have_v pray_v a_o thousand_o time_n for_o another_o heart_n and_o yet_o my_o heart_n be_v as_o hard_a as_o a_o stone_n and_o so_o full_a of_o hypocrisy_n lord_n shall_v i_o cast_v away_o my_o confidence_n and_o lay_v down_o my_o weapon_n and_o put_v off_o my_o armour_n because_o my_o corruption_n be_v so_o strong_a and_o impetuous_a and_o deaden_a my_o very_a soul_n but_o alas_o what_o be_o i_o weary_a of_o not_o of_o my_o sin_n but_o of_o the_o accusation_n of_o my_o conscience_n that_o will_v not_o let_v i_o alone_o bless_v be_v thy_o name_n that_o i_o be_o trouble_v that_o i_o do_v not_o live_v holy_o lord_n my_o heart_n be_v entangle_v in_o the_o snare_n of_o the_o world_n bless_a saviour_n thou_o which_o have_v overcome_v the_o world_n deliver_v i_o from_o the_o care_n and_o love_n of_o the_o world_n alas_o what_o good_a do_v my_o tear_n do_v i_o do_v thou_o bottle_n up_o such_o tear_n such_o puddle_n water_n in_o thy_o bottle_n let_v the_o bowel_n of_o thy_o compassion_n yern_v within_o thou_o towards_o my_o poor_a soul._n it_o be_v full_a of_o sin_n but_o my_o sin_n be_v my_o sorrow_n though_o my_o sorrow_n itself_o be_v sinful_a if_o thou_o stand_v as_o a_o stranger_n to_o i_o i_o must_v give_v over_o myself_o for_o lose_v than_o i_o may_v say_v farewell_n prayer_n better_a to_o say_v farewell_o then_o to_o add_v to_o my_o former_a sin_n a_o great_a guilt_n by_o defile_v my_o prayer_n that_o be_v as_o chariot_n to_o carry_v out_o my_o soul_n into_o the_o bosom_n of_o god_n what_o be_o i_o to_o stand_v against_o corruption_n or_o tempration_n i_o be_o no_o more_o able_a to_o overcome_v nay_o to_o resist_v they_o than_o to_o remove_v mountain_n i_o have_v sin_v away_o my_o joy_n and_o sin_v away_o my_o hope_n and_o even_o my_o god_n if_o thy_o mercy_n be_v not_o great_a and_o what_o remain_v for_o my_o poor_a soul_n to_o do_v but_o to_o sit_v down_o in_o sorrow_n and_o even_o to_o mourn_v until_o my_o soul_n be_v heavy_a unto_o death_n it_o have_v be_v better_a for_o i_o that_o i_o have_v not_o be_v one_o to_o show_v the_o way_n to_o other_o nay_o but_o oh_o my_o god_n that_o be_v best_a