Lamentation All appear'd in a Sorrow suitable to the great Cause theâ— foâ—â— Immediately they Proclaim'd our present dread Soveraign upon whom Heav'n shower down the choicest of his Blessings solemnising his welcome Access to the Imperial Crowns of hiâ— Royal Ancestors with magnificent Splendour Their New 〈◊〉 was to come in the next day but one after and to Illuistrate the Royal Goddness in so ample a Grant another stately Preparation of the same stiâ—â—p was set a Foot Having for that while sequestred my self from all Business resolving to see the far end of it the Maâ—… to all of a sudden struck I had but little time and so I task't myself accordingly and got what I intended long enough ready before their Charter came in which was upon the 13th as above Reader Now I remember something of it and if I have not been misinformed the Entertainment that both it and you for its sake met withall from the Person you presented it to that day might have sufficiently cool'd your Fancy and put a Period to any more Dialogues of that Nature Author Quito contrary For I nev'r had thought of a Second Dialogue till the First was so treated for I being a meer Stranger to all of Remark then present followed the Common vogue nor am I so skittish as to boggle at an Affront neither for thanks to many of my good Neighbours I 'm well enough inured to that and all upon Equivalent Grounds But one Swallow makes no Summer and since no Body knows who we mean on all 's well enough After I had smell'd the Rat I changed not the Humor but the Scene and fitted some Conceits as well as I could for Durham against the Coronation having more time for 't I Lancht further our the Landlord Assigns as you 'll find most part of the Discourse to the Tenant and he in a Burlesquing way after the Scotch manner glances upon the History of the last Seaven or Eight years in Allegories fit for his Character for notwithstanding the dismal Tragedies the tremendous Effects of Phanatical Fury partly perpetrated but more chiefly designed for the British Stage in that particle of time there was yet room enough for a Drol I communicated both Dialogues to not a few of my Acquaintances all Persons of indisputable Integrity and truly they had the good Fortune at least not to be Contemn'd They were somewhat noised abroad and I was sore put to it for perusals readings over or which was harder giving Copies that my time was spent to my prejudice And further such Copies as I gave were Re-copyed 'till besides crippling the Verses and other Faults they made the Tenant speak like a Gew-gaw I was unwilling to answer for any Fault but my owns so I sent both to London to be Printed about the beginning of June 1685. If the Act for Licensing was then Revived it was more then I knew Therefore to make sure work I trusted them in the Hands of a very Judicious and Ingenious Gentleman there to know whether they contained any thing offensive to the Publick or disgustful to any Loyal Person The unnatural Rebellion of the West being then in the Zenith he was taken up in higher matters and they lay by him forgot 'till September next after I met with a good report of this Gentleman who got them Printed I impowered him to receive them and get them Licensed and Printed if it would turn to his Advantage After he had perused them he returned them with thanks tho I say it assuring me the Tenants Language would prove inexplicable in the Southern parts besides the Characters of several Persons were so darkish that they would scarce be apprehended I now reckoned my self at ease but it was returned upon me by such as prest me for Printed Copies as a Contrivance of mine to avoid appearing in Print a vanity I never was fond of In Conclusion I had such profers to take the charge off my Hand that he must have been worse conditioned than I desired to be reputed that would have refused a Complyance And a little after Christ-mass I fell on and drew another draught somethings I omitted others I alter'd and a little I added as also the common English of every uncouth Scotch word with some explicatory Notes on the Margent thereby to facilitate the Characters and render the Tenants Language intelligible I know it 's not usual in Poems of this Nature but if the Reader should have both the Speech and the Meaning of it to study it might prove so Slavish as to rebate the little piece of satisfaction he might otherways have Reader Here has been a great deal a do about nought it seems But why shou'd you Characterize those Persons who have already smarted under the severe Pens of the Greatest Wits of the Nation Author All of them have not nor any in this manner that ev'r I met with Do but observe I pray'e now If any Angler shou'd use allways the same Bait or dubbing with his Hook without respect to the Season of the year quality of the Water disposition of the Air or Nature of Fishes be Angles for he might oft return with an empty Panyer One Mans Meat is another Mans Poyson and it 's hard damning of Proverbs Besides all this Losers may beg leave to speak Reader But let me look a little further into it Why so great a distance betwixt the Natures of their discourses in many places Is that sutable Author If you will but as I do understand by the Landlord and Tenant the several degrees of all his Majesty's Subjects you 'll find no greater Discrepancy in that then may be in their other Circumstances and Accoutrements As for example the Landlord may ride on a Fourty-Pound Horse and the Tenant on a Fourty-Sinlling Galloway and notwithstanding both Travel in the same Road. Reader Have not you in many places belyed the Tenants Speech as lig syke Pse c. These and many others being no Scotch words Author You must consider the Tenant has liv'd long in Northumberland and has somewhat mixt his Dialect with the Native Inhabitants The difference is small yet Dialogues ought to be natural as also he will now and then drop a word or two right English for fineness And in truth there 's nothing more frequent among such when they speak to any Pâ—â—â—â—â— of Quality Reader Why have you order'd those few Songs for the most part to old and Common Tunes Author Because I would have them readily Sung I have known many Witty and Loyal Songs lost before Country People have found their Times If any man think 'em worth newer let him use his Art and Welcom Reader Is this the Scotch spelling in many of your common words as geud for good bloud for blood Naig for Nag c. Author No. There is no difference between the Scotsh and English spelling it â—â—es in the pronouncing of 'em And I have so letterd them and all such only to put the
A JOCO-SERIOVS DISCOURSE IN TWO DIALOGUES BETWEEN A Northumberland-Gentleman AND HIS Tenant a Scotchman Both old CAVALIERS With an ANAGRAM prefixt to them BEING Some Miscellaneous Essays Written upon several Occasions By GEORGE STVART Omne tulit punctum qui miscuit utile dulci. LICENSED June 12th 1686. Rob. Midgley London Printed for Benjamin Tooke at the Ship in St. Paul's Church-Yard and John Story in New-Castle 1686. TO Sir HENRY BRABANT Knight MAYOR OF NEW-CASTLE UPON TINE SIR IF these following Sheets had been designed to have gratifi'd a particular Humor or private Interest it had behov'd me to have made this Dedication to one of whose Personal Acquaintance I were more happy in than I am of yours but since the rashness of my Fancy has suggested a more publick concern I know none more fit to protect my good Wishes to that Royal Cause which you have so vigorously asserted than your self Or if it had been possible for me as I thank God it is not to have offer'd an Effort which by any Consequence might appear prejudicial to our Soveraign Lord the King and consequently to the Universal Well-fare of all his Subjects it had been but Prudence in me to have conceal'd such an ungodly Attempt from you for what Incouragement cou'd any disorderly Act if there were no worse in 't expect from a Loyalist of your Size whom Malice it self cannot feign ev'r to have trode one wry step in the Duty of a Loyal Subject and Office of a discreet Magistrate But why Sir should I pretend to be a Stranger to you Has not the whole Course of your Life ev'n when Iniquity skrew'd it self up into the Seat of Lord Paramount render'd you sufficiently conspicuous first to all true Lovers of your three successive Royal Masters and next to the Adverse Party Did not those set you before their wary Eyes as a perfect Pattern both of Courage and Obedience and these as the very Butt of their implacable Malice Cou'd I live so long near you as I have done and be unacquainted with your great Merits No Sir it 's impossible tho this be the first time I 've given you the trouble of an Address It was in that Critical Juncture you did manifest the true Sense of your Soul when your early Endeavours to crush the Cockatrice in the shell did but predict the After-acts of your Life to be no more to you but drawing your own Breath Satan among the rest of his subtile and hectoring Artifices had the Impudence to tell his ineffable Creator that JOB serv'd not God for nothing yet for all this when he had got him in his power and devested him of all that was dear to Flesh and Blood this admirable piece of Piety was still the same And pray you Sir what have all those dreadful Engines prevail'd which have incessantly batter'd against you from your Cradle And I wish the plentiful Effusion of Youthful Blood or the unavoidable Decays of old Age cou'd but obtain a Writ of Ease what have they prevail'd I say Nothing but to your Advantage The more they strip't you did but the fairlyer discover a spotless and active Soul darting it self thorow and springing in the exact and liv'ly Lineaments of a well Organiz'd Body or made you appear like the Winter Sun which shines brightest when the Frost is most nipping Again Sir the Magnanimous St. Paul did freely undergo Imprisonments was over and over again whip't by the Jews beaten with Rods Shipwrack't was in Perils of Water in Perils of Robbers in Perils of his own Country-men in Perils among the Heathens in Perils in the City in Perils in the Wilderness in Perils in the Sea but the worst of all was Perils among false Brethren and yet this resolute Hero stood unshaken to the very last If I were but to trace the Comparison upon your account as far as the Cases run Parallel it were but superfluous to those that know you and incredible to such as do not As long as Vice is Vice it will stand in Opposition to Vertue and while there is good Men to suffer there will be ill Men to persecute I dare not say behold the End of these for who knows but Almighty God out of the inexhaustible Treasure of his Bounty may in good time give a better Understanding but if some of their Beginnings have not been Ominous it 's a Paradox to more than my self and let such as distrust this look back on those who have formerly imbarqu't themselves in such rotten and leaking Vessels and if they cannot discern a palpable Fatality attending the runners of such Risques I hope they 'll give quicker-sighted Persons leave to wonder at their Blindness I will be very thankful to any of your Enemies of which by the Instigation of the Devil and his Dearest Daughter the Good old Cause yo 've had a gay convenient Number if any of 'em I say can shew me when ever a force-putt Conformist became not as soon as ev'r he met with a promising Game for 't the most Voracious Devourer of that sacred Authority which he most solemnly swore to defend But it 's Hypocrisy not Conversion which I disclaim and what Precaution is herein to be used falls under the Cognizance of our Superiours Sir It 's not the hollow sound of an empty Panegyrick can Eccho to your Character Original Worth is the firmest Basis of true Virtue And in order to that your own Acts can best speak you It only remains that I beg Pardon for this Freedom and the Honour to be allow'd to subscribe my self Loyal Sir Your most humble and Obedient Servant George Stuart THE PREFACE IN A DIALOGUE BETWEEN THE AUTHOR AND THE CENSORIOUS READER Author HERE now at last ye may tak 't Reader Why so surly pray'e Other Authors will call me Courteous Reader Gentle-Reader Author Tho' perhaps thou hast play'd a hundred skittish Tricks in thy time Reader And then they 'll say I intreat you to take my weak Endeavours in good part and I shall hereafter be incourag'd to c. Author Ay marry weak enough in all Conscience but tak 't 〈◊〉 thow wilt if e'er thou get'st any more of me it shall speak to thee Reader But what is' t all this while Let me see Ho is' t time aday now to publish any Poem upon such Subjects Author Why not They were 〈◊〉 first if aâ—… had been well to that as early started and some Hundreds can bear me Witness of it as any that appeal'd upon those scores However they being only then occasionally introduc'd I doubt not but the Design in the maiâ— will prove reâ—â—shing enough to a Loyal Palate at any time and for such as are not â—…m not sâ—…rry 〈◊〉 cannot please them Reader Unriddle that Author I was at New-Castle upon Tine Feb. 11 1684 5. when the doleful News of the Death if such can be said to dye of the best and one of the greatest Monarchs upon Earth first filled that Place with
Bairns nor my * self sel ' ‖ Who have looked carnestly Wha've glowr'd in my Face and cry'd what * must mun we eat When my Tears was their drink and my Groans was their meat Land But when God of his Mercy restor'd us our Prince What plenty of good things have we had e'er since What Subject of his had cause to complain Ten. And what the Lord sent us was allways our ‖ own aine May-chance now and then a Sax-penny Sess My Pot neither boyl'd nor my Spit jogg'd the less I paid you my Rent I keep 't up my Credit I 've lent my Friend five Mark and * more mair when I had it I pity'd the Trav'ller that came to my ‖ Door Deur I had * allways ayllways a Morsell to give to the ‖ Poor Peur Land We all liv'd in Peace with Blessings ten Thousand But our Blessing was * Plotting against so good a Prince curst when we made the wrong use on 't Ten. We were serv'd in our kind for our ‖ selves sel's was the cause Land Great Charles most renown'd may thy Memory be on't Thou found'st us all Slaves but thou 'st left us all Free We know thou' rt immortal thou canst not be dead Thou 'st but finisht thy days-work and so gone to Bed Ten. Whisht Landlord Land Speak Tears Ten. There 's nae mair to be said But Sir I 've oft heard our * The Clergy of the Church of England were ever Loyal geud Minister say Jack-Presbyter fain wou'd be at his ‖ old auld play Is the fo'ke * all run mad aw gane fond to play †such syke a trick on 't ‖ if they knew but what we know Gin they wist but what we wote I trow they 'd grow sick on 't How * go gang they about us the like was nev'r seen What cheat us twice fairly before our awn ‖ Eyes Een Can the †foolish Clowns silly daft Carles think we 'll still be Fools Land When they fall a working they want not their Tools By Clubs and Cabals and by open attempting By spreading false News and by Conventicle-Canting Ten. To cover their Knav'ry they 'll play at Bo-peep About the Bush Tony or at Hide and go seek Sometimes they 'll play fairly and whiles they 'll play Booty But gi' me him that 's faithful because it 's his Duty He 'll work his ‖ work wark fairly without Knavish drift That Blade for my * Money Siller he 's fast in the heft When Death becomes Plaintiff and Traitor Defendant Then ' spye well about ye and mark but the end on 't He may chance to drop off as other Men do But rather knit up like a Bird in a bought ‖ Let it go as it will Gang that as it likes his Memory 's curst And * somewhat sunckat comes after I trow that 's the worst Land Let 's visit the Shrines of thrice Noble Montrose Pious Laud Brave Lord Capel and many of those Smell their Loyal-dust and its fragrant Scent Makes the Spice of Arabia insipid and faint Perhaps Men may say Here such an one lyes But if he was Loyal they 'll ne'er say he dyes True Rebels and Traytors will nev'r be forgotten Tho their Mem'ry stinks worse then their Flesh whilst a-rotting Ten. Shou'd I put my kind to discredit and shame They 'll cast up to my Bairns when I 'm dead and ‖ gone gane Your Grandsir was hangit for being a Traytor God * Blefs us and heep us from any such safe us and sain us fra ony sike matter Land The greatest of Beauty's by God ever giv'n Was Order on Earth and Order in Heav'n By Pride and Disorder great Lucifer fell Yet he cannot rule without Order in Hell Ten. * Devils allow Beelzebub to be their Prince but Whigs disown all Superiours Then wha deny's Order is warse nor his sel ' Land If then without order no Kingdom can stand That must be the best which the powerful hand Of God in his Wisdom has for us appointed Ten. They 're ‖ infortunate or bewitch't unsoncy that * meddles mells with th' Almighty's Annointed Land I 've read several Hist'rys sacred and profane I 've rang'd foreign Countrys with labour and pain And I allways observ'd the People more blest And richer and stronger and far less opprest By the worst of their Kings than the best of Usurpers Ten. My ‖ Malediction Malison light upon Government truckers Land This truth I believe is by all men confest Ten. What geud-luck ha' we then gets allways the best Land But now our way parts and there 's no Host-house To drink the King's Health in a Loyal Carouse Ten. Had we but a Gallon of humming-Corn-Drink I need no' to tell ye ye ‖ know knaw what I think Intruth my dear Land-lord I 'se vext to the * Blood Bleud Land We 'll sing his good Health then Ten. And that 's e'en as geud Land To the Tune of Hey Boys up go we I. Now who dare say brave Charles is gone Brave Charles is still the same Brave Charles sits safe on Charles's Throne And only chang'd his Name We English-men how happy then Look here for Monarchy Our King nev'r dyes nor from us flyes And hey-boys up stand we II. Hold off touch not our Angel-Queen Flat Muse fly not so high The Quintessence of all the Fruits Of fertile Italy Comparison's not worth a Doit Here 's matchless Majesty Both he and she in Honi Soit c. Still higher up go we III. Repent and turn mis-guided Whigs Your Projects will not do Both Heav'n and Earth maintains the fight Against your Cause and you We 'll not refuse your Friendship still If you your faults will see Join hand in hand let James command And none so high as we Ten. Wee ll sung honest Land-lord but yet let me tell It 's pity nane shou'd have ‖ such sike sport but your sel ' Will ye let me sing mine as well as I can Land Ye 're wellcome begin ye 're a good Loyal Man Ten. I. And is great Charles our Sov'raign dead Now fates do what ye can The Christal drops bedew the Cheeks Of ‖ every ilka Loyal Man Stop †Floods Fleuds of Tears and flow ‖ no more na maire Submit to Heav'ns decree We have a Plaister for our * sore sare And still Boys sound are we II. When Royal James to Scotland came Geud Lard how ‖ glad blyth were we We danc't we drank his Health and Sang With mirth and merry glee We flang our sel's down at his Feet Our ‖ Necks Craigs laid to his Knee And ay the †lower Laigher that we ‖ bow'd jowk't The higher up went we III. You mighty Potentates abroad For ‖ all aw your brave Adventures Ye are but 'Prentices
things we doubt 'em not shou'd hit Ere long ye'll see him higher yet My Dow rub up thy Memory For thou knaws e'en as well as he Be careful Birdy cast about Speak first and I will help thee out Ay Right think on 't and then begin Thou 'lt be a Credit to thy kin Or if this time ye canno ' stay Come to my House some other day I'll pay the (g) Reck'ning Lawing gang your way But hark ye me I shou'd ha' spoken Another thing I had forgotten Tho I 've but seldom seen that Face Yet in thy very look there 's Grace This kindness I 'll do you In case Ye be ought Straitned in your Purse And canno ' get you Arms and Horse Tell me your mind if ye be scant Great pity sike as ye shou'd want Or afterward I 'll send my Man To meet you at the Amsterdam But whatsoever shou'd (h) befall befaw Take this for to be doing with (i) all aw Here set thine hand to this (k) A Narrative or a few Depositions only bit Writing And swear it is thine awn Inditing And Sweety if thou 'lt but obey Thou 'lt reap the Fruit another day When thy Friend Tony's (l) cloath'd clad in Clay We 've English Evidence (m) enough enow And of the Irish not a few Last Sunday we drew in a Jew And fain wou'd had a Scotch-man too But ne'er had that geud Luck till now Thought I what ' vengeance can he mean The like of this was never seen Some Mischief surely he intends Of me he nev'r shall brook his ends But yet the (n) Silver Siller made some mends As slyly as thy * false faus Chafts waggs The De'il be in thy rotten Baggs If ever Andro here ingage When Foxes preach (o) take heed to tent wee l your Geese The Lord send me to live in Peace My Banes oft broken for my King And thou garr me in Hemp-string swing Gang seek your (p) loose fellows Callands with a shame For Andro he is nane of them God help't me out my sel ' to save And freed me fra that (q) flattering fleetching Knave Sir gin ye thought it but bestow'd A Sang o' yours were e'en worth (r) Gold Gowd Land To the Tune of Now now the Fight 's done c. I Now now the Feat's done And the Great Machiavels Lye sculking in the dark And they chafe in their Cells When Loyalty laught They stretch't for the Cause Contriving Sham-Plotting To Counter the Laws They rode on Rebellion And Royalty bang'd And their Pupils for Treason On Gallow-Tree hang'd II. Jack Presbyter smil'd Having fixed his Dart And wing'd it to ' hit The Great Prince in the Heart Who calmly withdrew At his Sov'raign's Command Whose Pleasure full Measure He ne'er did gainstand Now his Foes are dispersed And fall'n in disgrace Our Passion recoil And give Reason it's place III. Truth Truth is the cry Truth and Justice go round Whilst Plotters and Traitors Lye sprauling o' th' Ground Their Cabals are Confounded Their Evidence flinches And packing of Parliaments Throw'n off the Hindges They 'll Rally no more For an Oliver Nose Nor Muster fresh Forces But flat in the Close Ten. Well said Sir I wou'd give a Cow Why I cou'd sing as well as you Land But hark ye Friend one told to me A while ago ye were at Sea I like not Plow-stilt Math'matâ—eâ—ans Nor London Prentice Politicians Neither care I for Women-Preachers Nor Leather-Apron'd-Gospel-Teachers Nor any he that wears a Gown Who cants in Country or in Town Sedition up and Pop'ry down Let ev'ry Prudent man â—â—â—â—arge What Office falls within his verge Ten. I nev'r can tell ye that for shame For I am sure ye will me blame But what care I (Å¿) reproof Reprenâ—â—â—â—… you I well may bear (t) since sen it 's my due Now let me see It is about Seaven or (u) eight aught year sen that fell out Upon our Voyage we were 〈◊〉 The Wind blew fair to Sea we went Our Skipper wise our Vessel sound And to West India's we were bound I learn't some Terms in that Transaction But fumbl'd basely when in Action Yet thought my self as skilful as The wisest he on Ship-board was Say'd to the Steers-man Friend in case Ye be ought tyr'd give me your place Quoth he I think ye are 〈◊〉 Here take my room with aw my Heart * Here 's no particular person meant under this Character but the common People in general who love to meddle where they have neither Judgment nor Business Nay then thought I there 's muckle doubt Can I no' twirrle that stick about I had no' deun the Office lang But presently I set aw wrang When they cry'd Helm a lee I swear I wist nae mair nor my blind (x) Mare Mier All hands aloft and ev'ry where The Maisters Mate Mad as March-hare For only shift that cou'd be found â—ad like t o've run the Ship a-ground When Horses in the Fields lye dying The Carrion (a) Crows Craws about them flying Will keep a (b) croaking craiking and I 've seen Ere they 've been dead their very een Pyk't out and Dogs ha' snasht their Haunches Ay sometimes riv'n out aw their Paunches Syklike there was a Rav'nous Tribe The De'il has not their (c) equals maiks beside (d) Stood Steud on the Shoar to see us sink And Fish-way in the Ocean drink Amang the (e) rest laive I did espy A Doctor of Divinity Or else he slants confoundedly But yet suppose he leuv'd to fib And some for that his Luggs should (f) geld libb Or teach him aumbling by the hand Till he his paces understand Or twine a widdy 'bout his (g) Neck Craig To ken him for a straying Naig It 's nae sike wide Comparison For Horse and Doctor all is one Conjoin for better or for worse It 's Doctor Oats makes Doctor Horse These Questions ne'er shall trouble me For now he'as tane his right Degree Or if he draw behind the Cart Let it be sae with aw my Heart If he draw right on any score It 's mair nor ev'r he did before This Ship quoth he we understand Is fraught wi' Dean and Chapter Land Rich fat Livings Bishops Mannors Pilgrims Court and Kirk-Trepanners Black-Bills and Irish Tory Scots They 're not a Hairs breadth fra our Throats My sel ' has been (h) Salamanca if you 'll trust him in other Nations Where I ha' study'd Conjurations I 'll drive a Storm the Seas I 'le trouble And they shall find their Danger double I 'll force the Winds for I ha' Skill To raise Auld Nick lay him wha will From whence I hope when she is lost She will be wreck't upon our Coast If ony claim be made I 'll swear That we saw nought but Papish Gear Why should we keep it to our loss We burnt it all at Charing-Cross