unto you who he was whose place he possessed He was an old Man full of the Gout the most wicked one in the whole City or peradventure the Country although it swarmed with such Companions It was his design to plant division amongst all if he could amongst the greatest Personages He had a plot at that time upon the Signior who not long before was invested with the government of that place whō he had more reason to reverence seeing that not one in the whole City complained of him But the only Cause was that he had always a wretched disposition to speak evil of Magistrates It was known well enough that he only did detract him to follow his old and vicious Custom For he had never so much as once seen him had ne'r heard of any of his actions whether they were good or evill The faults which he imputed to him were those which he had observed in other Governors He conceived that being of the same quality he must partake also of the same Imperfections It is true he had great familiarity with a Personage whose Authority was not to be disputed of And to beget in him an enmity against the Governor he one day informed him that he knew this Governor to be one of the most treacherous persons in the world he coundesign to deliver up the City to a Stranger This accusation of the gouty Old man was believed as an Oracle because he did know so well to disguise his wickednesse that one would take him to be a Man filled with all prudence He moreover affirmed that he had heard by divers Citizens of some pernitious design that was on foot It so hapned that the Governor for some particular good design had that evening been in all the Streets of the City with his Guard He who received the advertisement of his malicious person did observe it and infallibly believed that he had a desire to accomplish some bad Intention Wherefore having assembled the greatest part of the City and declared to them what he heard he took counsel with them to exhort the rest of the Citizens to be armed to stand upon their guard to prevent the Mischief that was to come In the several quarters of the City they were commanded to repair to the Corps de Guard so that all was in a tumult The Governor hearing this was come forth more strong and better accompanyed than before to understand for what cause they did so riotously assemble themselves without his particular Instructions If the fury of the People had not been restrained by the wisedom of some amongst whom the false Report of this Treachery was spred they undoubtedly had thrown themselves upon the Governour and cut him in pieces The gouty old man to excite them thereunto did stand at his Window and cryed out Liberty Liberty Gentlemen hang up that Wicked man who would sell your Fortunes and your Lives at once But the voice of the wisest Magistrates having more power than his own did tie up the hands of the most mutinous personages The Governor had notice of it who testified nothing but his intire affection to the publick Neverthelesse some of the Inferiour Officers who troubled every quarter did still persist to advertise the Citizens to stand upon their guard desiring that every one might partake in the Combustion One of these men was come to the house of the Merchant as before I have mentioned The Governor at last who understood of the Seditious exhortations of the gouty man and was fully advertised that it was he who had kindled the fire amongst all the people was resolved to send for him to chastise him according to his desert This Commission was given to two of his people who had been at his house to acquaint him that their Master understanding that he was a man of a pregnant apprehension and mature Counsel desired that he would come to him to assist him in giving some restraint unto the Commotion of the People He would believe nothing at the beginning but they made so many serious protestations to him that at last conceiving to himself that the Governor knew nothing of those words which he had spoke against him he flattered himself with a belief that possibly it might be that he would be glad to assist himself with his advise Propounding then unto himself the welfare and the honour which thereupon would redound unto him he resolved with himself not to refuse his Invitation He thereupon permitted that the two men should put him in an Elbow chair which they had brought for that purpose and willingly he suffered himself to be carried to that place whither they could never have brought him but by force They had carried him a great way when a Citizen by chance did meet with those who carried him and spake softly in the ear of one of them The Governour is not now in the place where you left him he is gone to the Castle conduct the old Knave thither He who had better ears than they conceived did readily understand those words which caused him to conjecture some sinister event did attend him Before they did carry him respectfully as a man of State and Quality but they now conceived that he should not be so well intreated when he was to come to the Castle of the City Neverthelesse he sate very quiet in the Chair and knowing that all the words in the world were unprofitable in his misfortune he pretended to fall fast asleep and began to snore His bearers being not accustomed to carry so heavy a burden had their arms extremely wearied and in great drops their sweat did abundantly fall from their faces so that being at the corner of the street where Iocundaes Father lived it being an unfrequented place they had a desire to repose themselves and being gone into a house of Resort to quench their thirst they drank a draught or two extraordinarily imagining that the man would not so suddenly awake and if he should awake he would never have the desire to run away or if he had the desire yet he had not the power to put it in performance his leggs being swollen with the Dropsie and his feet and toes tyed into knots by the Gout but they were deceived for they no sooner were departed from him but he knew well enough how to use his limbs fearing the anger of the Governor and left that place empty which Francion filled The two Conductors having drank sufficiently did return to their Office and did not consider whether it were the right man or no who was in the Chair because there was a Curtain about it by the means whereof Francion was concealed for they could see nothing of him but the tops of his toes They undertook their charge again and brought him away chearfully the Wine having given new forces to them Francion said not a word fearing to stop them and being very glad to be carried into any place whatsoever
to stay within doors all the Winter although it were a grievous punishment unto me for after some weeks I had seen a young and a most beautifull Wonder at her Fathers Door in that Street that joyneth to St. James and her attractions with such advantage had triumphed over my liberty that I did nothing else but sigh after her But what should I doe to have come out of my bondage Love is a mortal Enemy to Poverty I durst not shew my self to Diana for that was the Name of the Queen of mâ— heart I must be accommodated in another fashion for she had received some Impressions in relation to me which were not favourable In my Solitude I had no other imployment but to think of her and that was the Cause that my passion did inflame it self the more I was such a fool that I took some pleasure to passe every Evening by her door although it was to me the most unprofitablest trouble in the world In that time I could have joyned in the same Trade with some deboist Scholars of the City by whom I found it was an easie thing in a short time to supply my self with new habiliments for every night they did nothing else but steal Cloaks in a street in the Suburbs where were some scattered houses but I could never condescend to make my Spirit to stoop to such an infamous action I therefore entertained the Acquaintance of certain Philosophers who promised me Mountains of Gold by a way lawfull and honourable neverthelesse at the last I abandoned their conversation because I found they were but sellers of smoak who were unwilling to communicate themselves unto me because having nothing to lose their trompery would be of no use in my behalf In the beginning I was at least as subtile as themselves and making them believe that I had a round Sum of money coming out of the Country with which I would assist them in buying that which was necessary for the perfecting of their great work I did invite them to teach me many of the Secrets of their Natural Magick which in several occasions I have since made use of And this was some profit that I received in frequenting their Company Afterwards I addicted my self to another study which was Poetry in our Tongue with which I was so much taken that I shall for ever be inchanted with it my ordinary imployment was to make verses on the hatred which I did bear to the iniquity of the times and on my love to gentle Diana But. Good God what works were they in comparison of those which I am now able to perform All I did was after the mode of the College and there appeared in it neither neatnesse nor judgement I might safely swear that at that time I had never read a good piece in verse and the Authors from whom I might learn any thing were unknown unto me as well by my own negligence as my Regents so that all which I could doe was to admire what was sung by the old Poets of Greece in whose works we do find so many remarkable faults because that all proceeded from their invention and they had nothing to lay before them as a Pattern and one thing at the same time cannot be invented and made perfect Take notice in no place better than in this that the Muses are pleased to dwell with Poverty you shall seldom see a rich man to delight in making verses And the great possessions of the Goods of Fortune are the cause that men delude themselves and neglect to possesse the endouments of the mind Neverthelesse for Poesie there is nothing more pleasing to the Spirit or more usefull for Men in putting a great distinction betwixt our selves and Beasts It was in that time alas that I beheld my self frustrated of all Hopes which I had a long time nourished in my Soul I traced my adventures over and over to see if I could there meet with any that might parallel with those great personages whose History I had read and I imagined that undoubtedly I should find an issue equal unto theirs trusting in my courage and the inclination which I had to follow whatsoever was virtuous Oh how blind I was as not to fee the infinite obstacles which did oppose my good fortune although I had a valour more admirable than any of the antient Knights If I had not laid down on Paper the transportations of my choler I had inevitably fallen into the most violent Despair of the world Was it not wonderfull and did it not cure me against the rules of Nature After I had described my evill I did find it no more so violent upon me although I perceived the effects thereof most lively represented Will any Man of Reason now deny that Apollo was esteemed the God of Physick as well for the remedy which his verses do give unto the desperate wounds of the Soul as for what his herbs do give to the diseases of the Body which he causeth to grow when he taketh upon him the quality of the Sun to make the earth fruitfull So much had Francion spoke when his courteous Host locking his hand in his did say unto him It is enough for this time I perceive it groweth late I am afraid you afflict your self with too much speaking and with those words be caused him to cease but before he would take his leave of him he did entertain him yet a little longer and said unto him that truly he had been injurious to himself by indeavouring to hinder himself from the further knowledge of his Pedantick adventurrs but Sir said he I believe you endured torment enough for the losse of your Silver if I remember it aright you told me that his name was Raymond who took it from you would you make him suffer for it if you could find him out I professe unto you said Francion that as often as I remember the miseries which he made me to endure my rage doth kindle as red against him as ever for his fact was extremely odious and the more because he was descended of an honourable Family and of the richest in France The Signior of the Castle having a Custom with him not usual of which few can find out the Cause did say unto him That it was possible that this Raymond had taken his money in a wanton humor and not for necessity intending to conceal himself from his Parents and to lead a deboyst life in Flanders and therefore if Francion would look after him he would endeavour to inform him if he were in Burgundy or not that so he might call him to a strict accompt for it but Francion made answer That it would be the most ridiculous thing in the world if he should witnesse that he carried about him the Remembrance of such antient offences his Host neverthelesse promised him that he would inquire If in Burgundy or thereabouts there were any Gentleman who is or hath been known by the Name
with him in a Chamber between that of the pretended Marquisses and the Chamber of her Father The amorous Warr was so pleasing to them that they began it as soon as possibly they could They made the Bed to shake in such a manner that her Father in the next room did easily perceive it and all the Night afterwards he did not put his eye lids together so much of unquietnesse did perplex his Spirit He could not but think of that which his Wife had said unto him and sometimes he so suffered himself to be carried away by distrust that he took Francion to be some grand pillager who had enterprised to rob him of whatsoever he had in his house in this violence of suspition he said unto himself As soon as day appears I will not fail to send to the Provost Marshal and all the Marshals men to apprehend this Companion He shall be taken in a snare But good God doe 〈◊〉 think to be more cunning than himself who is the Master of all inventions He peradventure hath done his work already and is fled away Ah miserable man that I am to be so desperatly ruined that I know not which way in the world to redresse my self As he was in these perplexities his Daughter and her Sweet-heart coming to re-imbrace each other did shake the bed again with so much violence that he heard it plainly He knew not that it was his own Daughter who lay there for he gave expresse Order that the Groom of Francions Chamber who served him as a Gentleman should be lodged in it And because there was a Coffer in that room in which were his richest habiliments he conceived that the noise which he heard did proceed from his guests who were breaking open the Coffer to empty it He listned again attentively and hearing no noise at all I know not what new revolution of thoughts did surprise his Fancy and he began to accuse himself of too much suspition and to believe that he had heard nothing at all but in imagination only and said within himself that he was a vain man to take a person so qualified for a thief Neverthelesse he could not take the least rest and going softly out of his chamber he did see if all his Gates were fast locked and if every one were asleep in their lodgings Being come down into the Court he was invaded by a thousand fears It seemed to him that he saw men coming down the window on a Ladder and ever and anon he would look behind him to see if any one was there ready with a prepared knife to cut his throat Perceiving at the last the error of his judgement and that it was overcome by vain Illusions he returned to his Chamber where he was no sooner entred but he heard the same noise as before He knew then that he was not deceived but did draw more near unto the wall and most attentively listned to that which they were doing in the other Chamber The young Lover who was not able to conceal his own joys did say at that instant unto his Sweet-heart I see now that there is not any thing which per severance is not able to bring to effect I have found the artifice to open that which was most close locked all must give way unto it Now as Men filled with presumption when they hear any doubtfull words reported they turn them all unto their own glory and as those who believe they are hated by every one do turn all to their own prejudice so the fancier of all men doe accommodate themselves to their own passions and ordinarily doe cause those things to appear unto them which they doe either fear or hope This most particularly doth appear by covetous persons who never see two men speaking together but they believe they discourse of the means how to pillage them of their goods This old Buisson the grand Horesleech of the world was of the same humour and hearing these words from the Lover of his Daughter he did give an interpretation to them according to his own suspition He immediatly believed that some one endeavoured to open his chests and the strong suggestion did grow upon his Soul when the young Gentleman did thus pursue his discourse I hereafter shall have no more cause to aâ—…ict my self for I am possessor of the choicest treasure that is here But we doe not consider that the Day by degrees is coming on I am afraid I shall be discovered if I goe not immediatly away but as I goe out of the window can I cleave like Ivy to the Wall I know not but I will make a tryal what I can do Upon my credit thou speakest the truth said old Buisson Thou art possessor indeed of the choicest treasure in my house since thou hast taken that which I had locked up in my Coffer but thou shalt not carry it away as thou thinkest I shall obstruct the passage Assuming then unto himself a generous resolution he took his Sword and came to the door of the Chamber which he thought to have broke open with his Feet Francion who that night slept soundly and heard not the shaking of the bed at all did awake at this new noise and did arise to see what the businesse was and knowing old Buisson by his Tongue he demanded of him for what cause he did grow into so great a choler What cause said he Have I not good reason There is in the next room one of your Servants who hath broken open one of my Coffers Francion replyed I cannot believe it I entertain no Servants but such as I conceive to be very faithfull Neverthelesse let me see if that be true which you represent if it shall appear so unto me I will afflict upon him the severest punishment my self As he was speaking these words Buisson called one of his Grooms who brought him a Candle and his Daughter having in the mean time caused her Lover to hide himself under her Bed did put on her Petticoat and came to open the door rubbing her eyes as if she were but newly awake Her Father was much amazed to see her and demanded of her if she heard no noise in 〈◊〉 Chamber She made answer No forsooth neverthelesse he searched up and down and came at last to look under the Bed where he perceived her Companion whom he knew to be one of his Neighbours He thought that some one had been there to steal rather the treasure of his Coffer than the treasure of his Daughters Honour conceiving that necessity and not love had brought him thither The young Gentleman said unto him Sir I beseech you to pardon the fault which Love hath caused me to commit you know I am not descended of so base a Family that it will be any dishonour to you to have me to be your Son-in-Law Madamoiselle your Daughter doth not disdain me make me then so happy that I may have your consent as well as hers Monsieur
goe thither without you I am unwilling to lose the good opinion of my friend who may be angry with me for having failed to bring those persons to him whose Merit he infinitely doth esteem Francion who was not of the jealous humour of that Country did believe the words of Ergaesius and that there were many rarities in that place to which he would conduct him and seeing that at the last Valerius did consent to goe along with him he was willing to be their Companion without conceiving that all this was but a plot laid before hand to take away his life He was on Horseback as well as the rest and had his Gentleman to attend him whom he would have had to have followed him with all his train but Ergastus said unto him that he must not be allowed to take any one with him for they could not be permitted with any great company to enter into the Castle I take none of my people with me said Ergastus no more doth Valerius it is requisite that we doe leave them all behind us at Nays Court After dinner we shall easily overtake them We will have none to goe along with us but only a Groom of the Marchionesses whom I doe esteem above all the rest Having expressed these words he caused the Gentleman of whom he spake to come unto him who was the same person that heretofore was so much affectioned to the service of Francion In a short time they arrived at the Castle where they were honourably received by him who was the Captain Francion observing that they held one another in entertainments which prolonged the time was extremely sorry for he burned with impatience to behold the marvails that were related to him He softly acquainted Valerius with it who moved the Company concerning that Subject The Captain who had the watch-word given him no sooner heard of it but immediatly he took a great bunch of keys and having led them a long way he caused them to enter into a strong Tower where he said the greatest rarities of that place were locked up He shewed them a great round chair very ancient which had truckles under it to move withall He assured them that on whatsoever hour one should sit down in it he should hear a certain harmonious noise which came as is thought from under the ground but the cause thereof could never be found It was therefore imputed to some Spirits who inhabite the place Ergastus laughed at it and said it was a phantastical imagination and that he could give no faith to a thing so extraordinary all that stood by were of the same opinion with himself Make tryal of it said the Captain and you shall understand the Truth they then begun one after another to sit down in the chair and rising in a wonder they affirmed that they heard the sweetest Musick in the World Francion who stayed last of all and did laugh at the ridiculous affirmation of his Companions did to comply with them sit down himself And the Captain standing neer unto him did in an instant turn a little cord whereupon the springs flying open that held fast the chair it did run down with him that was in it into a deep Cave where he continued for a certain time so amazed that he stirred not either hand or foot Ergastus and Valerius seeing him so well surprized did thank the Captain for the good assistance he had given them and entreated him to continue it by putting his prisoner to death when he should see convenient From thence they departed toward Nays whom they found in a little Town at dinner She enquired of them what was become of Francion because it was told her that he was not in that place where all his people were lodged Her Groom of whom we have spoken did approach unto her and said Madam He is privately returned to France and meeting with me accidentally before his departure he did give me a charge to acquaint you that in whatsoever place he should be he would always assume the quality of your servant And Madam Doe not wonder that he is gone without his train It is because he would not make apparent the desire which he hath to depart from you fearing that if any longer he should stay it would redound to the prejudice of his affairs And there is a great apparence that it is so for he hath commanded me to charge his people to return all of them into France and without making any noise to overtake him in the way Having told this lie to Nays he repaired to the Gentleman who waited upon Francion in his Chamber and caused him to depart with all the other Servants to overtake their Master Nays had all the afflictions in the world for the sudden removal of him whom so intirely she affected Oh How often did she repent that she had been of late so averse unto him for she believed that she was the cause of his departure Accursed men said she speaking of Valerius and Ergastus If you had not persecuted me with your importunities I had not been constrained to use him so cruelly whose least action doth merit infinite favours May you be punished with the Evil which you have caused me to suffer Never hope that I will look upon you with a pleasing countenance again I will for the time to come be more cruel to you than ever yet I have been or peradventure you doe believe that I can be And as she said so accordingly she did deport her self but had she known the treason of those two Signiors she would undoubtedly have been inforced to have used them more cruelly At the last she arrived at her own house where more and more she did testifie her indignation and commanded her unfaithfull Groom to seek out Francion in all places and to give him a Letter from her in which she did demonstrate for what occasion she did not give him that respect which his Vertues did deserve and covertly did intreat him to come to that place where heretofore he had a great desire to arrive This Post did depart to put his charge in execution and took his way towards France in which he knew well enough that he should not find Francion Having travailed not far he returned and before he saw his Mistresse he passed by the House where Ergastus lodged of whom he demanded what expedient he should use in that affair Ergastus believing that Nays had never seen any thing written by Francion's own hand did cause a Letter to be written as if it came drectly from him in which amongst other things he did represent unto her that the pleasures in France had caused him to forget the delights of Italy and that she must never expect to see him again seeing there was nothing that could call him back into Italy Nays having received that Letter did call Francion a thousand times ungratefull and uncivil to write such a Letter to her But being out of the
with Furr no longer because he had none of the Polonians to follow him He repaired to Raymond and Francâ—on and all the way as he did go along be was in a great distemper when he was come to them he made his complaints that the Polonians were gone without bidding him Farewell which was the true sign of a great incivility in them for which he could not conjecture any cause You see said Francion that they are discontented at you Yesterday you propounded new Laws which being King you would observe in their Country to the prejudice of their antient government I do believe it did much displease them and moreover you did not intreat them with that Honour and Courtesie which they expected As soon as ever you had heard of their arrival you ought to have accomodated them with a fair house and rich moveables and to have entertained them at your expence and after that you had given them audience you ought to have shewed your self liberal and have given to the principal of them a Seal heavy with Diamonds and to every one of the rest a great Chain of Gold These are the gifts which Princes at this day do bestow on the Ambassadours sent to them and sometimes they doe give things which are more pretious It may be so said Hortensius but I never observed it in any Book Francion replyed The chiefest Book which you can read is the Experience of the world The present mode of these times it but a folly to me said Hortensius I do govern my self according to the Antients and having nothing to bestow upon them I did reserve my bounty to a better opportunity But tell me What think you of it Did not they say yesterday that they could not attend any long time for me having a charge to return with all speed This no doubt was the ground of their sudden departure For our parts we will follow them as soon as your Marriage shall be solemnized Francion replyed Betwixt this and that we will take further Counsel I am afaid they will not have you for their King and that they are gone to speak evil of you in their own Country These last words did leave a deep impression in the heart of Hortensius He considered with himself that possibly he had lost the Kingdom of Polonia by his own fault and that he should have borrowed round sums of money and put himself into a garb to have received and honoured the Ambassadours But Raymond to comfort him said unto him For what do you afflict your self If you shall not be King you shall not be lesse at the worst than you were ten days agoe What pleasure could you have to command a barbarous and an unknown people It is better by far to be a Peer at home than a King abroad and to be a Companion as you always are with men of gallant and ingenious spirits A King is nothing else but an honourable Servant The people are merry or asleep when he is awake and hath his head full of cares for them When the Diadem was brought to Seleucus did not he say that he who knew the griefs and cares which it covered would not deign to take it up from the Earth and have you not read in Plutark many other excellent Examples concerning this subject This Discourse touched the very Soul of Hortensius who immediatly to overcome his affliction caused a Book to be brought unto him the subject whereof was The contempt of Worldly Creatures on which he did amuze his Spirit whilst the others did solace themselves with all varieties of entertainments Francion observing that this Pedant did fall into a humour which brought no pleasure to them did passe away the greatest part of that day in discourse with his Mistresse and the day following considering that Hortensius could furnish them no more with accustomed entertainments of delight instead of his natural Comedy had recourse to the Italian Comedians who came to play at Nays house He found them to be a gallant Company and after a few days he acquainted them with all the pleasant stories of this brave Master of his when he was in the College under him This was the only plot of their play and at that time Signior Doâ—tor acted the part of the Pedant Hortensius was present at this Comedy but he thought it was not concerning himself of whom they spake he had too good an opinion of himself to think would make plays of his actions The next morning the Comedians acted another play at Raymonds House The Plot was a new invention and composed of divers languages which were but as a Medley so that those who understood the Itaâ—iaâ— Tongue might easily apprehend them all But on the day following there was a more famous company of Comedians who had a Stage to act on Francion Raymond Audebert Du Buisson and two other French Gentlemen had not long before given them a Comedy in which they had all a hand It was acted at Nays house They had made it speedily and very familiarly It was altogether of Verses which they had taken out of Roasard Belleau Buif Desportes Garnier and other modern Poets They made use of nothing but what they had already by heart so that they had accommodated their Comedy according to that which was in their own Spirits when others do captivate their Spirits to the rules and discourses of Comedy Neverthelesse these pieces being hansomly brought together did suit very well although it was fantastical enough There were only some Melancholy Italians who took no pleasure in it because they could not but with difficulty comprehend the French Poesie Francion did indeavour to content these men with another device The next day he caused a Comedy to be acted which all manner of Nations could understand for it was acted only by signes He had caused it to be played in France once before The signs and gestures were so familiar that in a short time the Spectators might easily understand it Although he exercised himself in all these Fancies and Inventions as we have said yet they were not so long or tedious but he had some time remaining to intertain his Mistresse The day following was altogether dedicated to these affairs The Company whom they had invited supped that Evening with Nays Signior Hortensius was not forgotten who seeing all the world disposed unto mirth was constrained to the same himself although he was not now taken for a King and had no more such great honour done unto him And although some amongst them did begin to be serious yet he would be now a little frolick and having in his hand a Venice glasse made in the fashion of a Gondalo he said that those Philosophers were of all the most certain who affirmed that there were ships on the land and that mean it by such a Vessel as that and seeing Audebert about to drink he said unto him Take heed how you put good wine into a bad Vessel What!
you honest Friends that I have but a Treacherous Memory I had quite forgot that Nays yesterday did tell me that she desired I should not this day take the pains to come unto her but the Impatience of my affection is the Cause thereof Having spoke that he did go away chearfully to outward apparence but so inwardly afflicted that he hardly could expresse unto Raymond the Indignity he received He said It made but ill for him on whatsoever side it was for if it were true that Nays did undervalue him the shame thereof would redound unto himself more than unto her but if she were pleased to make some mirth thereat it was also very disadvantagious to him having deserved to be used more honourably And if the affairs had not been passed so far in the way of marriage it were not so difficult to provide a remedy but they had so far advanced themselves that he could not now disingage with honour Raymond did remonstrate to him that he ought not to trouble his Spirit with so many suppositions without knowing what was the true cause which gave this distast to Nays for the effecting whereof he ought he said to have recourse to Dorini or some other of the Kinred of Nay Francion replyed thereunto that it did most of all afflict him to see that his Fortune was so suddenly changed when he thought it was the most established and he believed that for the time to come every one would laugh at him and by turns make him the Ladder for their mirth to climb upon as Bergamin already had begun to do Raymond considering this adventure and comparing it with that which before arrived to him he conceived that the one might well have relation to the other wherefore he desired him freely to declare unto him how Bergamin came to enter into such a familiarity with him as to know the course of his most private affaires and what was the ground thereof when he said that he had made a promise to marry Emilia It is true said Francion that amongst friends such as we are there is nothing to be concealed and how can you give me Counsell in my affairs if you are not entirely acquainted with them A Physician can prescribe no Receipt unto his Patient without first he be acquainted with his Disease I committed a fault yesterday to speak thereof too sparingly unto you It was a Trespass I must confess against the laws of my Duty but you will hold me excusable if you will consider that it proceeded rather from a shame which did detain my words than from any defect in my affection I of a truth therefore doe declare unto you that having received the assurances of the good will which Nays did bear unto me and having made many oathes and protestations to her that I did know not any one more beautifull and found nothing in the world more agreeable than herself I had no longer the curiosity to look after other beauties which before I esteemed But wherefore should this Lady exercise over me so tyrannical a power as to have my eyes blinded from beholding any other objects Hath not Nature ordained sight and Judgement unto men to contemplate and to admire all the beauties in the world Being arrived at Rome which is the Queen of all other Cities I should shew my self to have but little Spirit If I should not observe if the Ladies are not more beautifull here than in any other place As for the Courtisans we may see them easily enough but for civil and virtuous women it is very difficult and this difficulty doth augment the desire and renders the pleasure more great when we arrive to the height of our design I have used my utmost endeavour to see some of them both in their Churches and in the places where they are accustomed to walk and sometimes they have not been so well veiled but I have contemplated their beauties but amongst all those whom I have seen there is none so beautifull as Emilia Since my first comming unto Rome I have conversed with some French Gentlemen amongst whom I alwayes found this Bergamin who was most familiar with those of them who were most debauched and given to the greatest expences His gallantries did so much please me that I desired him That we might often see one another and he himself according to his promise did not fail to give me many visits One morning he made his addresses to me as I was comming out of the Church and he did me the favour to conduct me to another where I beheld two Ladies one of them seemed to stoop under the burden of Age and the other whom I conceived to be her Daughter was one of the best featured and the most beautifull that possibly could be seen I supposed with my self That Bergamin had such Acquaintance in Rome that he could tell me who they were but at that time he was unable to inform me for this City is so peopled that hardly one Neighbour knoweth another howsoever he assur'd me that in a very short time he would satisfie my Desires I requested him to have me in his remembrance and because these Ladies were going from the Church towards their own Lodgings he counselled me to stand still a while and he would follow them to see into what House they entred He stayed three quarters of an hour which seemed very tedious to me and I was even about to be gone believing that he had lost his way At the last he returned and assured me That those two Ladies had their Lodgings close unto that Church and shewed me the House but the reason he said wherefore he staid so long was because that hard by he had met with a Gentleman whose company was of great consequence for the knowing of that which I so much desired He told me that he was the Man who was imployed in the managing of all their affairs and that at that present they were intricately molested in a great Sute at Law having been inforced to forsake Venice their Native Country to come to Rome to follow their Cause He told me that the Husband of Lucinda who was the Mother of Emilia had commenced a Processe against a Gentleman of Rome who despairing of his Cause had recourse to Violence and treacherously killed him whereupon the Widdow and her Daughter were come to Rome to demand Justice on the Offender When I understood this I demanded If the Sollicitor were not of power to bring me to the sight of the Ladies Bergamin replied It would be unnecessary I do conceive at this time to propound that question to him When I understood that the Name of the old Lady was Lucinda I immediately changed the Scene of my Discourse and did bias it another way I assured him That when I demanded of him who those Ladies were it was out of a curiosity of Indifferency and not out of any vehemence of affection We Italians said Bergamin are prone to
should be the better able to inform them to whom the greatest places in the Seats of Justice did belong I was ravished to hear this Proposition hoping that I should have the happinesse to see Emilia also although he made not the least mention of her Bergamin knowing that his presence was unnecessary did willingly leave us and accompanied with Salviati I came to the House of Lucinda It was but a little one but commodious enough for a Widdow-woman who lived alone in it Salviati entred into it as freely as if it had been his own and we found Lucinda in the Hall and her Daughter Emilia with her I must protest unto you that I never did behold a more delicat creature I fastned my eyes upon her but as soon as she perceived it she did retire her self into the Parlor Salviati represented to Lucinda that I was the Man of whom in the morning he had made mention to her and that he hoped I should be very profitable for the advancement of her Affairs She received me with very civil complements for she was a Woman of a gallant Spirit and Behaviour and was lovely enough being not so old as the weeds of her Widdowhood did make her to appear Having related to me all along the proceedings of her Husband against one called Tostat who deteined a great part of his Estate from him she told me also how he was killed as he was travelling from Venice unto Padua and that the said Tostat being apprehenhended she came to Rome to follow the Law against him and hoped that being condemned to Death she should have great Damages and Interests awarded her I repeated to her the promises which I had made to her Sollicicitor but I protest unto you I had much to do to remember the words she spake so much was my Spirit diverted by the Beauties of Emilia I could not but curse the Custom of the Italians which do not allow us the civil liberty to look on their Wives or Daughters At the last it so happily did fall out that Lucinda did begin to talk of her which was a great comfort to me She said That she did not much care for any great Dammages the Law should give her for she had enough already to content her during her life having but one Daughter who was shortly to enter into a Religious House and to have no more to do with the goods of Fortune I assumed the freedom to demand of her If it were she whom I saw when I first came into her House She told me Yes and as I did represene unto her that there were some Men who would think themselves most happy to have such a Wife She replyed she was descended of Honourable Parentage but having not means enough to marry her according to her Birth the safest way she could take with her was to put her into a Nunnery We maintained other Discourse on this subject and after that I conceived that I had stayed long enough I took my leave of her Being gone I demanded of Salviati if in good earnest Emilia was resolved to confine her self unto a Cloister He told me Yes and that she only stayed for money to give unto the Prioress which her Mother hoped to receive from the charity of well-affected people For my self said I I shall be ready to assist her but I should be more glad my money should serve to marry her than to retire her from the world He laughed at those words and we discoursed afterwards of her Beauty and her Merit I must confesse unto you that having seen her I was the more incited to do something for her Mother and I endeavoured what lay in my power that she might gain her Processe to the end that she might have wherewith to marry her Daughter according to her Condition and Degree I took my leave of Salviati and visited all those one after another whom I conceived to be capable to assist Lucinda After the end of two days I returned to her to give her an account of what I had done She thanked me most heartily and told me That she should confesse her self to be much obliged to me all the dayes of her life We were then alone in the Hall when behold Emilia came in She seemed to be something abashed to behold me and made as though she would return from whence she came but her Mother did command her to stay which was indeed a very acceptable recompence for the pains I had taken I parlyed to her with that discretion which is practised in that Country and I did not praise her but very modestly Neverthelesse I made it appear that she had touched me within my heart and that I much desired to have such a Mistresse I stayed with her as long as possibly I could and taking my leave I promised her Mother that I would visit some other Lords on her behalf which I performed with extraordinary care I must confesse that Nays is beautifull but Emilia hath such attractions that when I see not Nays I cannot but contemplate on Emilia I no longer did content my self with my antient delights I had rather have perpetually entertained my self with this if it had been possible for me but I found I could not arrive unto it but by marriage only To marry Emilia was not pleasing to me she having no other riches but what were grounded on a Processe which might be as well lost as gained Neverthelesse I deliberated with my self that if I would receive any Pleasure from her it must be by the pretence of Marriage so that oftentimes I discoursed with Salviati concerning her and told him that he must not give way unto her to enter into a Relligious house that it was no true Devotion that did perswade her to it but her Mothers and her own Ambition because for the present she had not wealth enough to Marry her according to her Condition She was endued I said with such perfections that divers persons of quality would take her freely without demanding any Dowry but her Vertue I in that manner did so discover my self unto him that he perceived I did speak of my self of which he was very glad and I believe did advertise Lucinda of it But because I could not see her every time I did go to her Mothers house and could not speak aloud unto her before her Mother it did much afflict me being accustomed to speak freely to young Gentlewomen after the Manner of the French I could not expresse my Love unto her nothing did speak but my eies only but in this Country of Italy but one glance or little action will oftentimes speak more to purpose than all the long entertainments of other Nations I could not be satisfied with that and was therefore resolved to write unto her and to desire Salviati to deliver my Letters To write unto her a Letter of Love seemed to be too bold and too difficult an enterprize for the first time I
windoes whereof Valentine no less astonished than the rest could render no account Hereupon a merry conceited fellow that by chance had mingled himself among them replied You are sorely troubled Gentlemen to conjecture the cause of what you see I le expound you this Riddle in three words That Companion you see hanging by the Ladder was some of Katherine's Sweet-hearts and without doubt he had a purpose to go see her But to shew him his courtship was Labour in vain she has so cleared the point that his own eyes may certify him she is not as he thought her Se how forlornly he looks as if the loss of his Love had bereav'd him of his Life This fancy took the company extreamly but they thought very sodainly they should receive more certain informations in regard Valentine's servants were then opening the Castle gates But they understood no more of all these mysteries than if they had not belong'd to the House The Thief and Katherine were soon made loose and brought before the Curate and Valentine who failed not to ask them divers questions concerning their present condition why and by whom they had been so exposed But the fear of a deserved punishment had made them resolve not to answer a syllable to any of their Interrogatories knowing their cause was so ticklish that they were more like to foile than free themselves by speaking Katherine was asked by divers Since thou art a man why dost thou weare a Womans cloaths But they might have saved their breath for all the threats and perswasions they did use could not draw one word from her mouth Lauretta being come down seemed no less amazed than the rest at the recitall all of these passages and cunningly withdrawing her self by little and little into the Court while every body else were busie in the Hall she hasted to re-visite the Author of her last nights joyes and after some close embraces for a last farewell she conveyed him privately out of the Castle The Justice of the place who lived by mischief and debates not willing to lose his Snip was very earnest in perswading Valentine to let him draw up informations against those offenders urging the design of Katherine and her Companion could not be honest and that they had attempted to rob him of his Goods or Honour But Valentine who not unacquainted with the malice of Law was loth to render his purse as a prey to such ravenous Harpyes refused to follow his advice finding not any of his goods diminished All he desired was to know by what accident those Creatures came to be hung in that manner at his windowes The Justice seeing there was nothing to be gained would proceed no farther for the Offenders could be drawne to no Confession neither were the Spectators able to charge them with any matter of fact So Morning Prayers past the poore Thieves had liberty to steale themselves out of the danger they apprehended But for two or three Leagues they were pursued by such multitudes of people crying and shouting after as rendred the perplexity and shame they indured no lesse insupportable than the severest punishment of the Gallowes Thus they whose perverse inclinations lead them to wicked actions never prosper in their undertakings but receive a salary suteable to their Crimes as the severall passages here related testifie Valentine for the foolish curiosity that transported him to the Diabolicall practice of Necromancie became a scerne to all The Thieves whose covetous desire of enriching themselves by others losse made them attempt to reb the Castle not onely failed of their intented purchase but suffered publique shame and pain Lauretta indeed though she had strain'd courtesie with her conscience received no present punishment nor reproach but what 's deferr'd we seldome finde is lost As for Francion his vicious intention was recompenc'd with harme enough yet he resolved to beare his misfortunes with more patience than the rest While he was in bed and his senses well recovered his man who had been spectator of all the passages at the Castle gave him an account of each particular at which he burst into so violent a laughter as made him forget his paine yet his imagination could not penetrate the Thieves design nor how they came to be so handsomely hung though he remembred well enough Katherine's discourse to him in her Chamber But when he came to the recitall of Valentine's conjurations and in what equipage the Curate found him his rapture was beyond expression As his Dinner was serving in the Surgeon came to visit him and seeing Wine brought up he told him he must drink none because of the wound in his head This is a very rigorous sentence replyed Francion good friend deprive me not of that divine liquor I prethee It is the onely sustenance of my body all the delicatest meats in the World are nothing comparable to it Don't you know the pitifull Pretenders to Physick are commonly call'd fresh-water-Doctors because they can doe nothing but prescribe us that to drink I believe their Prince Hippocrates was not of their opinion for Hypocras which is the most excellent drink we have has its name from him either because he loved it or was the inventer of it I knew a young Gentleman who for some indisposition and a hurt in his leg was forbidden Wine as you do me lest it should impair his disease But what do you think he did He laid himself in bed contrary to the ordinary use and put his feet upon the pillow that the fumes of the Bacchicall liquor he had plentifull exhausted might descend to his head And for my part since my wound is in the other extremity of my body I think it were my best way to rise and stand upright to the end seeing the Wine I shall then drink will rather descend to my feet than offend my head you may not be so severe as to forbid it me This said Francion bade his man bring his clothes that he might rise The Country-Chirurgion willing to shew his skill indeavoured to dispossess him of that humour and confute his reasons saying They were grounded upon the Maximes of a Tippling-house rather than the Axioms of Physick Then he began to discourse in terms of his own Art which though barbarous and unknown he conceited himself at the highest pitch of Eloquence when he pronounced them being infected with the disease of divers that believe their expressions are then best when least understood not considering language is onely to make conceptions known and he that has not the art to declare his meaning to all sorts of persons is tainted with an ignorance not much lesse than brutall Francion having had the patience to heare him out told him all his Aphorismes should not hinder him from rising but he he would drink no Wine notwithstanding for mirth's sake he had maintained such an Argument These are low poor spirited persons continued he as have not the power to curb their passions
to close his mouth again immediatly for fear of irritating her fury more Else she would stun's ears with such incessant rayling as he must have put on the armour of Job's patience to endure it Though 't was the multiplicity of his occasions often hindered him from coming home betimes shee 'd scould and say his drunken companions had made him stay bowzing in some scurvy Cabaret This would make him take his Cloak and goe dine abroad but that made his cause still worse for she used so to contrive the businesse that some of her Gossips should send some unsuspected messenger to watch whither he went and then she would begin to rante in these termes You see my house is detestable to him he never cares to come in 't neither to Bed nor Board so continu'd her clamours till some of her friends reprov'd her I give you leave to judge if I had not a pleasant time in her service Heaven knows how often she has made me sup by roat when she had bin feasting all day among her fellow-Bibbers how many thumps and pinches she has given me especially if I set but a pin awry in her dress and many times with a needle she us'd to hold in hand she would goad my armes when I least suspected danger Once the Kitchin-maid being out of the way at dinner-time I was commanded to make an Aumelet it being Friday but because I had put in one bad Eg and some tallow fell by chance into the pan my Mrs clapp'd it like a mask all over my face If I had not pleas'd her at any time in my work when any of her Gossips came to visit her I was the only subject of their discourse My maid saies she does this she does that as I am an honest woman she 's almost a perfect Devil she wants nothing of it but the horns Mine answer'd another of the Gossips exceeds her in wickedness I le tell you some of her tricks Then she began to reckon up her Maids faults among others she said whereas a Vessel of wine used to last 3. Months it would not hold out two since that wench had the key of the Cellar that having a shrewd suspition she used to drink out of the Pot every time she went to draw Wine to be ascertain'd of her doubt she smear'd the inner ring of the pot-lid with ink so the wench returned with a black cressant on her forehead which discovered what she had formerly denied If she were sent of an errand she was so full of chat as a whole dayes time was little enough for her to finde the way home againe especially if she met with any idle fellowes that would hold her in discourse of Love This was our Mistresses conversation when they met But I le assure you when chance conducted me into the company of that Maid her Mistress had so blazon'd I wanted neither Tongue nor Memory to repeat her every Particular Then we took our turns to prattle having the opportunity to condole each other's misfortunes and we ripped up our Madams faults as fast as they had ours Oh! 't is a Soveraign Pleasure to speak ill of those have given the offence and you may think we were not sparing of our tongues Now I must tell you how and wherefore I left that service My Mistress was very sumptuous in her rayment and her greatest contentment consisted in being gallanter than her Neighbours so that if she saw any one with a new Gown or other toy alamode she was mad to have the like this reduced her to comportments extreamly contrary to her disposition for she was forc'd to fawn and caress her husband with extraordinary submissions to draw the Marrow out of his Purse Ah my Dear my Minion would she say smothering him almost with throngs of kisses Wilt thou alwaies endure that little Beggers brat at the corner of our street who was taken not long since lowsing under a hedge should out-brave and scoff at me every time she meets me as if I were nothing in comparison of her because she has a finer Gown than I Wilt thou alwaies suffer me to look but like a Dish-clout or a Maukin to her and if Chance brings me into her company I should be taken for no better than her Chamber-maid Dost not thou know her Husband's Profession is not so honourable as thine and that she is not worth at the utmost twelve thousand Francs whereas thy Wife if duly esteemed is better than fifteen thousand I have had never a new Gown nor Petticoat since my Wedding day I prethee give me mony to furnish my self now This was the discourse she made her Husband in her necessities and having learned the trick to sweeten him and lull his minde asleep with pleasing Daliances promising to recompence his liberality with an obedient observance for the future sometimes she obtain'd what ever she desired of him One day her vanity pressing her to desire a Neck-lace of bigger Pearles than those she had she resolved to make recourse to her ordinary flatteries but something had put my Master in so froward a humour that he repuls'd her with such terms as she deserv'd finding faire language would prevail nothing with him she flew into another extremity and began to revile him in the basest and bitterest manner her fury could invent She reproached him with ingratitude telling him had it not been for her he might be glad to be received in a Hospitall that the fortune she brought had raised him from the Dunghil and yet he refused to give her a petty summe of money to buy her necessarries She called him Sonne of a Peasant and said he was fitter to work day-work in the Vineyards as he was bred to while he was young than to be her Husband This touch'd him to the quick and to revenge himself somewhat he reply'd The plain Country people without fraud and malice were every whit as good as such cheating Merchants as her Father was Then he began to summe up the knaveries usuries and extortions of her Progenitors Hereat her rage was so increased that setting her arms a-kemboll and darting fire from her eyes How now Villaine said she art thou then so audacious as to speake ill of him who took so much pains to purchase the estate thou now enjoyest Ha! by S. Barbara Merchants are a thousand times more estimable than such rascally Proctors as thou art Thou makest thy boasts among thy Pot-companions that by thy industry thou hast got the greatest part of the Estate thou now possessest but thou liest false Traitor all came from my deare Father whose soule is now in glory Alas continued he with a showre of teares and many intermittent sobbs he never committed so grand an errour as that of giving me in marriage with such a Jew as thou art Then having given her heart a little ease by the vent of her eyes she began to reproach his profession telling him if he had
to have in our former dwelling for there it was very meane having but a slender stock of money left after our too extravagant expence This miserable life I believe was a principall cause of a great indisposition besieg'd Perretta for Melancholly and discontent to see her self fallen from a plentifull condition to calamity gaining the ascendance over her Spirit the good woman felt her self drawing neerer dissolution and therefore as most People use in like extremity she would impart some documents before her death Considering me as her daughter I received from her dying mouth very apparent testimonies of a Cordiall affection of all her secrets and Maximes she profess'd she concealed not any from my knowledge and besides gave me divers wholesome Counsells which I have since made good use of In summe no scruple nor superstition harbour'd in her heart She lived so roundly that I imagine if what is reported of the other World be true the rest of humane Soules now play at Bowles with her's She knew no more what belonged to remorse or Cases of conscience than those of Topinambou for she said if she ever had heard any discourse thereof in her youth she had lived long enough to forget it as a thing that serv'd for nothing but to disturb the Mind's repose She had often told me before the riches of this World are so common that they ought not to appertaine more peculiarly to one than another and that it argued ingenuity and wisdome in any one to take a share though out of others hands if fortune favour'd the designe with a convenient opportunity For said she I came naked into this World and naked I will return If I have got any of others goods I shall not carry them with me let them goe seek where they are and take them it nere shall trouble me What! If I should be punisht after my death for committing that which they call Fellony or Theft might not I with reason answer my accusers that 't were injustice to bring me into the World to live and not permit me to take those things requisite to maintaine a Life After severall such discourses her soule took leave of her Carcase which I buryed without any Pompe as she injoyned me for she know there was nothing more unnecessary Soone after her decease I procur'd some new acquaintance that furnish'd me with a little Belly-timber But the losse of my good Mother was so sensible besides the ill hap I had to incounter now and then some persons too well acquainted with my former carriages that I resolv'd to leave Paris and to remove my station to the City of Roan My Beauty was yet powerfull enough to attract me many Visitants but making no respect or distinction of Persons in effect being a stable for all Horses among others I met with a running Nagg by whose virulency I was so paid that in short time I found my body infected with a foul disease Cursed be those brought it into France it disturbs the pleasures of well disposed people and it is favourable to none but Chirurgions who indeed owe Candles to one of our Kings for leading his Souldiers to Naples to get it there and bring the seeds of it hither The onely happinesse in my misfortune was that an honest and gratefull Chirurgion to whom I had done some courtesie before physick'd me for much lesse than any other of his profession would have taken I will not entertain you any longer with these Ordures though I know you are none of those squeamish people to whom a foul relation savours as ill as the thing it self Let it suffice to tell you I took a voyage as they say in Bavaria to see the Emperour inthron'd and at my return I found my face so changed I was inforced to make my recourse to Art Painting Waters and Perfumes were the daily remedies I used to repaire the ruines my Body and Face sustained Besides I began to consult my Looking-glasse for new attractions practised a certain affected manner of speech that infinitely inchanted those I had a desire to intrap At last a man very rich and without office became so vanquished by my charms that he took me into his own house to injoy me there with more liberty I grant he might have found a handsomer Mistress than I and so he confessed himself but there was something in my humour sympathised so with his disposition that he preferred me before all others of my sex The cause of our Separation proceeded from a little brangling betwixt us because I made more havock of his goods and spent his money more lavishly than he was willing to permit The practice of my first profession being yet fresh in my memory that was my present refuge I applyed my selfe eagerly to it a long time refusing no body that brought what would help to make the Pot boyle While I was in the height of my trading a certain Meacock that was soon after to be married desirous to know before-hand in what parts to attaque his enemies in Cupids combats where he never yet had shewn his valour was addressed to me by a Kinsman of his to receive instructions Having been at my Lodging one Sunday after dinner and informed I was gone to the Sermon thither came he to finde me out At his arrivall the Preacher falling upon the relation of the first part of Mary Magdalen's life inveighed bitterly against Courtezans and represented so lively the pains prepared for them in the other World that my Lover said to himself he might well enough go back again or seek another Mistress to do him that courtesie imagining I should be touch'd with too much remorse by the end of the Sermon to continue that life any longer But at the Sermons end he finding opportunity to accost me after he had discover'd me his thought of my conversion I return'd him this answer which perchance in your judgements will savour of much impiety However it is no matter I come not hither to make you believe I repent of my past iniquities Insooth Friend my soule must be very weakly principled to be startled at the stories this prating Monk has told us Don't I know well enough every one must follow his owne trade He makes it his profession to amuse the simple people with his Prattle disswading them from haunting debosh'd and lewd companies where they idly consume their time persons and purses or become ingaged in some desperate and unnecessary quarrell And I exercise my part to quench the Concupiscense of men by Charity Thus was my Novice paid and being a good silly soule according to the stamp of that old ignorant Age when people wip'd their Noses on their sleeves he wonder'd at my libertine humour which he took to be very wicked and inconsistent with his goodly Religion To make my story short we went together from Church to my Chamber where I read him a Love-Lecture and taught him what he desired to learn but
she 's a Woman said Francion and not insensible of the communicative pleasures with a person whose merit is agreeable It may be in hopes to finger good store of Ducats she may prostitute her Body to the desires of such a silly Coxcomb but she will never bend the inclinations of her mind to love him and when she sees his Purse empty she 'l empty her thoughts of the affection she made him believe she bare him Do the worst you can Agatha as soon as I can get this crack in my Crown cured I le go again secretly to see my Mistresse and receive of her as much satisfaction as my passion can desire This discourse ended Agatha took leave of the Company and setling her self again in the Cart she advanced towards her Niece's dwelling-place with whom she had no desire to treat in that manner as she had threatned Francion for she resolved to make his game sure with Lauretta without letting him know it and give the Lawyer the Lurch This wretched sort of people are and have alwaies been greatest observers and onely admirers of those that give them most or entertaine their boundlesse thoughts with highest promises yet we scarce ever finde any of them arrive to any competent Subsistence Their life is interwoven with continuall Miseries neverthelesse their insensibility robbs them of Remords and fils their vaine hearts with joy yet 't is but a false one a meere shadow of delight and farre different from that reall hearts-ease attends those that live uprightly We have here seen Agatha's deportments and heard her speak in termes very dissolute But the nature of the Comedie requires those expressions rightly to represent the part she was to personate yet that 's not capable to make us wrie our Soules to the desire or practise of Vice quite contrary it renders Vice more hatefull to see it so lively pourtraid in its true colour Hereby we may learn what diverse Persons account delight is nothing but a debosh'd Brutality which all well temper'd Spirits will ever abominate and shun The end of the second Book THE COMIQUE HISTORY OF FRANCION The third Book AS this pernicious old Hagg bade adieu leaving those had heard her discourse much satisfied with her facetious stories into the Inne came a Coach which the Gentleman who had laine with Francion sent for to his own house in the morning betimes And after dinner seeing the Rain was past he ceased not importuning the Pilgrim till he consented to take place in the Coach telling him he was big with desire to be honor'd with his companie at his house where he might be confident to finde as good entertainment as he could expect in the unknowne Village whither he intended to goe I must acknowledge my selfe exceedingly redevable to Fortunes kindnesse continued he for addressing me into the company of a man whose acquaintance I shall be proud to purchase Coming last night with no other attendant than my Lacquay from visiting a handsome Widdow in this Country named Helina after I had supp'd with her as I pass'd this way to shorten my Journey homewards I was arrested here all night by an ill favour'd Accident which now I blesse as the cause of my greatest happinesse It was the breaking of my horses legg as he leap'd a Ditch but I would not for fifty such Coursers have missâ—d the incounter of so deserving a Person In acknowledgement of these grand civilities Francion return'd those compliments he judg'd most requisite and having said in the close of his discourse for recompence of such signall favours he would not stick to part with his blood life or any thing else could be demanded of him the Gentleman replyed That for the present he expecteâ— no further testimony of his Gratitude than that he would please to recount him the Dreame had entertained his fancy the night before So overcome with Courtesie as the Coach trundled along the pleasant Plaines Francion thus began Sir Since your ingenuous spirit desires to be recreated with the Chimerical fancies of a troubled Brain I will tell you the most Extravagant you ever yet have heard imposing on my owne accord this Law upon my Lips that if any impertinences they let fall disrelish you I shall close them with the Seale of Silence as soon as you please to discover your dislike You should never make an end said the Bourgundian Gentleman interrupting him if you would continue speaking till I bid you cease for you can say nothing but what is extreamely to the purpose and will create singular satisfaction in the hearers And though what you dreamt may be void of Reason and without Order yet I will lend you my best attention that I may the better track your fancy and pick out some signification I shall hold you no longer in expectation of the contentment you so much desire replyed the Pilgrim though I am confident Artimidorus himself would want a thred to lead him out of this Labyrinth After I had ended my Story and bid you good-night I suffered my fancy to stray after an infinity of severall thoughts I fell a building rare Designs touching my Love and Fortune the two Tyrants that prosecute my life and being thus busied I was unawares surprized by sleep I first fancied my self in a solitary Plain where I found an old man that had large Ears and his Mouth shut up with a Padlock to open which it was impossible till the Letters that serve to compose these words IT IS TIME were assembled at the key-hole Perceiving the use of Speech was forbidden him I demanded the reason of his Tongue 's restraint thinking he would have answered by Signs but placing certain hollow Horns to his Ears the better to receive my Voice he pointed with his hand to a little Wood as if the dumb language of his gesture had sent my Curiosiry thither for satisfaction When I had made my approaches something near I heard a confused pratling noise that did but unpleasantly mend the old mans defect In the midst of many others there were six Trees which instead of leaves had slender Tongues tyed to their Branches with so loose a thred as every blast of wind which then was somewhat boystrous still knock'd them one against another This Concussion made them break into a Chat so loud as I might over-hear them brawl confusedly and exchange their spight in most reproachfull tearms The Contest had not continued long before a mighty Giant that was laid under the shade suspecting they would reveal somewhat he desired to keep ever secret unsheath'd his Cimiter and gave his Arm no respite till he had beaten them down and cut them all in pieces yet they retained still so much of life as made them often leap from the ground and indeavour to continue their injurious Prattle But his Fury soon found a greater cause of increase for passing something farther he spied me leaning against a Rock where he knew I might read an ample relation
me and I take the boldnesse to present it you to refresh your memory and make you more willing to peruse the Pieces I have delivered you concerning my Processe and I beg your pardon if it be not answerable to your Desert The Bailiffe putting on a severe Countenance and gravely stroaking up his starch'd Mustachoes How Sir said he who doe you take me for I that am a Judge Royall whose Integrity is irreprovable doe you thinke me a Man to be corrupted by a Bribe or that your Present as you call it can oblige me to be e're a whit more carefull of your Cause Doe not I know my owne duty thinke you without such Remembrancers Go Go I have nothing to say to you nor your Satin neither though the purchasing my Office emptied my Coffers I confesse I will not however replenish them with Money so ill gotten I shall content my selfe with Honour and Authority Learn henceforwards not to tempt those that are incorruptible Did your Proctor give you this advice were I so assured he had no more discretion I should forbid him coming to the Barre this Twelve-month for he ought to understand better than you what concernes my charge My Father seeming somewhat troubled at this check and the personated choller that painted it selfe in the Judges face presently put up the Satin again under his Cloake and with a low Cap-Complement took leave without speaking one Word The Mistresse of the House who from an inner Chamber had heard all the difference not willing to let such Preyes escape her Chitches stopped his passage with a profound Courtesie accompanyed with these Words You see Sir my Husband is something Cholerick you took not the right course to make him a friend to your cause give me your Satin I will pacifie him well enough and he shall accept your Present My Father had already resolved to convert it into a Suit for his owne wearing though he seldome went in black indeed hating it as a Melancholy and undelightfull Colour which suited with none but People he did not greatly affect because contrary to his Martiall disposition In summe the Satin was delivered to Madam Baily-vesse But her Husband not knowing she had been so provident in meane time stood watching at his Hall window and seeing his Client goe through the Court Doe you heare doe you heare Monsieur de la Porta cry'd he aloud to my Father you shall be forgiven this once so I finde you no more tardy you may leave what you would have given me even now for I consider it would be too much trouble for you to carry it home againe I have given 't your Wife already answered my Father and so went away directly to his Proctors who was one of the best of the Cabal After he had heard the passages betwixt my Father and the Bailiffe This is no wonder you tell me Sir answered he Alas you know not the disposition of the Man so well as I He is no Catch-pole but he will catch as many Pieces as he can nothing comes amisse to his hands and his house is like Hell what e're you carry thither you must not expect to bring it back againe He ask'd you if I counsell d you to offer him that Present because he knowes there 's none of Vs that are acquainted with his humour will give our Clients any such Advice You should have given it his Wife at first or rather emploied some other to present it her the better to cover the corruption and that he might still preserve the repute of an Vpright Man Notwithstanding this Silken Baite my Father lost the Fish and was not onely cast in his Cause but adjudg'd to pay all Charges besides the Judges Fees which amounted high for Monsieur Baily cared not for playing at small games and the reason that incited him to pronounce that just sentence was this The Adverse party having intelligence from the Mercer that sold the Satin how it had been bestowed and fearing that fine present might prove prejudicial to his interest went likewise before the Day of Hearing to solicite Mr. Bailiff But not daring to offer him any thing knowing the custome and humour of the Personage he bethought himself of a gentile wile to obtaine his own pretences and cloak the others corruption So observing a handsome Picture as he walked in the Hall with his Judges Wife he fell into high commendations of the rare workmanship and wished he knew where to purchase such another Peice This is at your service said the Lady if you are so taken with it you may command it I am infinitely engaged to your courtesie answered he But pray tell me what it cost for I am resolved to give you to the full value Truly Sir it cost six Crownes There 's six and thirty for you replyed he putting a purse of money in her hand the paines you took to buy it and the trouble you will find in weaning your fancy from it deserves a no less summe The subtill Woman easily conjecturing why he gave her so great a price for her Picture pleaded his Cause so close that overcome by her solicitation her Husband pronounced sentence in his favour There 's no base Action committed though never so secretly but by one Accident or other is still brought to light This was published by a Servant-maid the Bayliff turn'd away after he had paid her with many heavie blowes which so exasperated the silly wenches rage that wheresoever she came she related this story and spake his praises in such termes as rendred him odious and subject to all Peoples censure My Father distasted at his ill successe went to communicate his case to a Counsellor in the Court of Parliament of our Province desiring to know if he might not appeale from the sentence of that inferiour Justice-seller The Lawyer who was never accustomed to disswade any Client from contention failed not to remember his own interests in this Occurrence and incouraged my Father by divers reasons to sue out his Appeal You that are a Gentleman said he must shew you have some Spirit and not suffer your selfe to be overcome easily A Processe is a kinde of a Combate where the Palme is given to him that wins the Prize as well as at the Olympick games He that makes himself a Sheep according to the Proverb the Wolf will eat him you must live in the Countrie among stubborn churlish people that will be apt to wrangle and denie your due observance or come off quit of their Rents especially if they see you once so tame as to suffer your self to be led by the Nose like a muzled Ox. Besides if you remove your Suit to our illustrious Court you will finde incomparable Advantages It will be a meanes to make you knowne to those that never heard of you and render your Name immortall For our Registers and Records are eternall Monuments where your Memorie shall be preserved to all Posteritie and your successors
was a generall Vulgar Errour to call the perplexing of a Cause with Tricks in one word Practice without distinguishing of what it is a Practice as if there were no other kind of Practice or that this had gained so great a Prerogative over all others as the onely naming that terme suffic'd to make any capacity comprehend what was meant But to return to the Processe It was referred to the most fantasticall Councellour of the whole pack And it is remarkable I know not by what disfavour of the Starres that sort of people became half fooles by that time they arrive to those grave years as render other men more respected for their sage Counsels and Deportments All that ever hitherto frequented the supreme Courts are stumbled at this observation and the most probable reason can be given in my opinion is that for the most part they are fellowes of low decrested Souls descended from Parents of despicable extractions and to keep their absurd Gravity they sequester themselves from all good Conversation passing their time onely in such studies as render them as much more stupid as they are more vile and sordid than any other persons the whole world affords My Father's Reporter through his constant solitude was become at length a perfect Misanthropos no body could boast of having any ascendance over his Spirit he was so Chymicall neither party need feare his compliance or partiality the onely danger was lest he should misconstrue or not comprehend the Cause for which he was more famous than for any other quality except an impertinent Confidence that flattered his vain credulity no mans apprehension was so quick and solid as his own The first time my Father went to see him at a distance he took him for a Cryer of Funerals and finding him standing at his dore without any Company or Attendants he was about to aske him who was lately dead in that Quarter But a young Man handsomely clad accosting this ill-looking fellow with a low Reverence made him correct his thoughts and consider he might be the Master of the House and before he made his Addresses inquiring who that spruce Yonker was he learn'd 't was his Worships Clerk who from a Groom had raised himselfe to that degree where he omitted not to use his fingers to the best advantage and curry Clients purses iustead of his Masters horses The Councellor received this visit without discovering any of the odd humors diseas'd his braine but at the next interview my Father acquainting him with some particulars concerning his owne businesse he bid him hold his peade like an ignorant Pratler that knew not what he said and send his Attorney who had more experience and Judgement to state his Case Not many dayes after my Father returning to his house the old Idiot spied his sword I know not what foolish fancy fed his feares but 't was no lesse criminall for any Gentleman to weare Weapons in his house than Spurres in the Palace and as if some danger had required his speedy opposition he presently ran to take downe an old rustie Halberd that hung in his hall and brandishing it with his trembling hands stood upon his guard at the top of the stone steps as if he meant to stop the passage into the house My Father desiring to know the reason of this Antique Posture he answered That seeing him come into his court with Armes he knew not but his designe might be to take his house by Assault and therefore he resolved to stand upon his owne defence This was onely a laughing matter but there succeeded other Passages that made my Father curse the houre he ere began his Suit and at length notwithstanding all his Attorneyes perswasive arguments and advice he went to visit his Father-in-Law offering to come to a comprimise and the better to induce him to consent I beseech you Sir said he let us speedily withdraw from this Gulfe whereinto we have imprudently cast our selves otherwise we shall be both swallowed up for my owne particular I had rather have to doe in Hell than at the Hall rather endure any torture than the perplexities of Law and I believe the greatest torment has been invented for the damned is to sow dissention among them and make them receive injuries for which they shall never obtaine reparation notwithstanding all the paines and diligence can be used Be confident when we compute our charges neither of us shall finde much advantage against his Adversary nor any thing neerer the accomplishing his designe The whole Estate we contend for will become a prey to this execrable Tribe of Villaines who live onely upon others spoiles and desire no other occasion of establishing and enriching their owne families than the Ruine and impoverishing their Clients Had not We better keep our Money than sling it away upon fellowes that ne're returne us thanks but rather thinke us beholding still to them and for three lines of writing without Sense reckon us a summe beyond Reason Let us divide betwixt us what each coveted to preserve intire for himselfe or I protest I am so harast and discouraged by the Malices of these cheating Lawyers rather than suffer my selfe any longer to be made a Prey to their insatiable Avarice I will resigne my Interest and give you peaceable possession of the Whole This free proposition arguing a generous Candour in my Father and promising much advantage to the adverse Party so won upon his humour that though before he would hearken to no Proposalls of reconcilement he relished these Reasons and onely demanded some time for more serious deliberation Meane while happy chance presenting with some advantages to my Father's unprepared eyes the Beauty of a Compleat Virgin Daughter to his Step-Father by a former Venter who from her infancy had been bred at Pension in a Religious House he ne're was satisfied with seeing her this frequent looking begat an amorous liking and liking soon grew up to such fervent love as he presently resolv'd to demand her in Marriage which desire crown'd with the Father's and her owne consent made a perfect Pacification and concluded all differences by this Conjunction to the sorrow and shame of all their lawyers who expected no such Issue Within one yeare after the solemnity of the Nuptialls the Nocturnall private toiles were recompenced with a publick joy by the Birth of a pretty Female and about the Expiration of the like terme succeeded a second Fruit of the same kinde But five yeares were elapsed after their Marriage before I had a Being my first entrance into this World was remarkable upon the same day the three Sage Kings followed the direction of the Star For my Mother having been Queen of the Beane that Night sitting at the Tables end and drinking to all her Subjects felt some Throes that forced her to quit the Company and repose upon a Bed where she was soon after delivered of me without any other assistance than the Sage Matrons Fortune had
be Gluttons and yet we were constrained to dip our hands in the dish one after the other by a Mathematicall rule our Pedant accounted those his darlings who were satisfied with such a small proportion as was allotted them but you may imagine that they were Cockneyes daintily Pompered up and who were soon glutted but as for my selfe it was otherwise with me for I was not brought up so delicately however I had never a whit the better there although my Master would out-face me that I did eate more than foure others when as God knowes I had but my just allowance Finally it was unpossible for me to ingratiate my selfe with him and at our Meales he continually harped upon a Lecture of abstinency which was alwaies meant to me he alledged Cicero who saith That a Man must onely Eate to Live not Live to Eate and thereunto he annexed severall Examples of the Sobriety of the Antients nor did he forget the story of the Captaine who was found a rooting of Turnipps for his repast moreover he manifested unto us how that when the body is over-burdened with humours the spirits could not exercise their necessary functions telling us that we were put to him to study and not to glut our selves with Meat that therefore we should have a greater respect to the one than to the other But if any Physitian had been present and had sided with us as having the better cause he would have confuted our Pedant and proved that there is nothing worse for children than to make them Fast Besides doe you not thinke that he had a great deale of reason to preach Abstinency whilest eight of us were preying upon one poor leg of Mutton he had a whole Capon to himselfe so that never was Tantalus more tempted in Hell by those lovely Apples which he could not obtaine than we were by those dainty morsells which we durst not touch And whensoever any of us chanced to commit an Error he then enjoyned him a very profitable Pennance as to himselfe for he put them out of Commons for some certaine dayes and kept them at Bread and Water whereby he also kept cleane Sheets and spared the Money he should have laid out in Rods. Now on Holy dayes aâ— against Twelfetide Shrovetide Bartholmew-Faire and the like he never treated us a jot better unlesse we contributed every one of us a Crown extraordinary nor was he as then any loser by the great Feasts which he made us by reason that having accustomed us to Fast all the yeare long he then contented us with little or nothing for some few boyled Poultry and other small Foule and a little wasted Cates stood us instead of Lucullus and Appicius their most sumptuous Banquets and of which our Pedant never made mention but by his branding of them with the title of Infamous Hogs and Churls And by these and such like meanes he enriched himselfe to the great losse and griefe of our poor bellyes which cryed out vengeance against him and really there was nothing I apprehended so much as that the Spiders would make their Cobwebs on my Jawes by reason of my not stirring of them and keeping them in their due exercise at the usuall houres of repast And its best knowne unto God what shifts I was forced to make and how I was very often constrained to conjure for a belly-full When the Principall of our Colledge who was a very brave sparke was monyed and gave entertainment to his Friends we were present at the Feast and at the serving up of the last course with the Fruit we presented severall Epigrams unto the Guests who in returne of our Verses gave such a parcell of Tarts Custards Fruit and such like quickshawes and sometimes also some small fowle which were not as yet taken from the board as that we were faine to tip the seams of our Gownes to stuffe them up therein just like unto a Wallet And the best meales that ever I did eate at the greatest Princes Tables of the world never were so pleasing and delicious unto me as those conquests which I purchased by my Poetry O you most pitiffull Verses which I have since that time made which never as yet did produce me any salary I prized so high as those which I preferred before an Empire Nor was I lesse pleased when at the solemne Feast of our Lord the Advocate unto whom my Father had recommended me sent and invited me to dinner since that for my sake the good people inlarged their ordinary with some minc'd Pyes which I assaulted and fell aboard on with as much resolution as a couragious and magnanimous King would besiege a Rebellious City But together with my dinner my mirth was at a stand being straightway examined concerning my progresse in Learning and in case I gave not a punctuall and ready account thereof I was threatned that my Father should be made acqainted therewith It is an unquestionable truth that let a child be of what disposition soever he will he will be sure to be more addicted to play than to study as I my selfe was in those dayes however though I say it my selfe I must needs tell you that I was one of the learnedst of all our Classis whereby I lost nothing neither for the Advocate perceiving my ingenuity he alwayes gave me some few shillings which he put upon the account of my Fathers Law-suits and with this money in stead of playing at Tennis I bought certaine bookes which they call Romances containing the prowesse of the Knights of old and not long after one of my companions lent me one to read called Morgant the Giant which absolutely bewitched me having never before read any thing but Ciceroe's familiar Epistles and Terences Comedies at length I was wisht to a Book binder upon the Pontneuf who did sell such like fabulous Histories and thither I carryed my whole stock of moneys but my Trade I 'le assure you was a speciall one for I had such longing desire to possesse that which I had a minde to buy as that I never stood to bargaine with the Book-seller but ever gave him his owne price for feare I should misse of my purchase so greedy was I after my prey and he full well knew whom he had to deale withall I protest unto you Sir that at this time I desire to be as ignorant as I was then at that time in regard I should enjoy a great deale of pleasure in perusing such like trifling stories whereas at present I am constrained to make-another guesse divertisement for that I cannot light upon any one Author that pleaseth me unlesse I could passe by his extravagance for to tell you the truth though I knew where all Books are to be found yet know I not where to finde a good one nay I will hereafter prove unto you that there is not one good book in all the world when as I shall treat of this paradoxe and evidence unto you how that in
bid me let him alone I will not dissemble but that there was much malice on my side and that expresly I did it to revenge my self of the cruelty which he had exercised on me For if my Companion had continued to act his part I would not have been so mischievous unto him but I assure you never in any Mummery was there more contentment taken than at our play where the successe did arrive so pleasingly I had the glory given me for having played my part the best of all the Actors who were some of them of the rudest sort of the people of Paris and according to the instructions of our Regent who had in him no more humanity than a Hoggard had every one of them a fair Handkerchief in his hand for want of a more gracefull posture and did pronounce their verses as if they were singing them and oftentimes with a far shriller and a more disagreeing tone than any of the rest To doe well I did quite contrary to that which my Master taught me and when I was to salute any one my reverence was after the manner of the Court and not according to the mode of the Children of the Holy Ghost whom he constrained us to imitate And for other things I used no other gestures nor made any traverses on the Stage but only at such time as reason did direct me but I had leasure to repent that I had so well personated the Fury for my Regent observing that all the College and many personages of Honour in the City did laugh at him did take on me an exemplary revenge and for the first fault which I afterwards committed he with his Rods did so pink my breech that a barber Chirurgion doth not mangle more the back of a sick person to whom he doth apply his Cupping-glasses At that time I lived with Hortensius as I was before accustomed yet he did intreat us more severely than in the years precedent and the Winter being extremely cold finding that he would allow us no fire we were constrained to burn the boards of our Studies the straw of our Beds and afterwards our Theam-books to procure us a little heat One day he was pleased to take the pains to visit my Library and finding there many sabulous Histories in the French tongue he carried them all away with him alleging that they corrupted my good Inclinations and did pervert my spirit for it must be as he said Amongst those Books he found some so amorous that they served much to inflame his heart with the love of the Daughter of the Advocate who payed my Pension Take notice by the way that Love triumphs as much over the square Cap of the Pedant as over the Crowns of Kings And that which did the more invite him to follow the Command of that little God was that he did see his power to be reverenced and esteemed almost amongst all the Books of the Philosophers Being overcome by so agreeable a Temptation he began to seek out all means to please his Lady and did apparel and dresse himself more richly and more curiously than before he was accustomed to doe for whereas before he changed his linnen but once a month he now changed it every fortnight Every morning he turned up his Mustachioes with the handle of a hot spoon and the Botcher our Porter was imployed to make two dayes to put nâ—w sleeves to his old Cassock and to mend it every where were it never so much torn in pieces He never before did behold his own face but in a bucket of water but now he became so prodigal as to buy a very large Looking-glasse in which he ceased not to observe if he made his Reverences with a good grace and with what a plausible carriage his other ordinary Actions were attended and sometimes he did put himself to too much trouble for he had a desire to see in how good a posture he did read and having cast his eyes down on Tully which he had in his hands he would lift them up to look on his glasse but he could not thus content his Desire because he found the Image which was there represented did lift up its head as well as himself and at that instant did not look down upon the Book insomuch that at the same time he would have been very willing to turn his eyes into two places at once And although he was carefull enough of his Body yet he purposed to gain the good will of his Mistresse not by that meanes only the qualities of his Mind which seemed to him to be far more eminent were those forces in which he most confided Every day he turned over the leaves of the Books of Love which he had taken from me and from thence collected those Discourses which in his judgement seemed best to fill his mouth and to rectifie his understanding Amongst those Volumes there was one full of Metaphors and barbarous Antitheses and of such extraordinary Figures that no Name is to be given to them it was a gallamoffry so continued and confused that the most apprehensive spirit in the world must be obliged to demand What is it if he had a desire to understand it Neverthelesse he called this Author the French Cicero and formed all his stile according unto his unlesse that from some other of his time he took certain Phrases which to him seemed admirable because they were not common although there were so many faults in them that a Costard-monger who sells Fruit in the corner of a street would have discovered them and reproved him and his goodly Authors with him I come now to account unto you the Discourse which he held with his Mistress following therein those Books which he had read One day going to visit her Father and finding her alone Madamoisell said he I gain in losing and I lose in gaining that at this time losing the company of Monsieur your Father I gain yours which yet makes me to be a loser in another sense for I do lose my liberty in hearing your Discourse The incomparable charms of your incomparable perfections which none can magnifie enough do so assail me and hold me captive under their feet that he is deprived of Reason who believeth he is able to defend himself against them wherefore this shall alwayes be the Cause for which I will make bold to stile my self your incomparable Servant Fremond for so the Damosel was called had something to do to return an answer to so extravagant a Salutation In a short time she perceived the solly of the Person which before she never saw so manifestly discovered She could make her marker well enough and the young Sparks of the College who were my Companions told me they found by her deportment and complexion that she loved the trade and certainly they were not much mistaken for in the fourth year of her age being deprived of her Mother her jovial and frolick humor did afterwards transport
never Printer hath printed any leaf better than you have made an impression on my heart with an indelible Character and my Will receiving on it self the Idoll of your monstrous beauties doth greatly advance the Honour of your House For this cause you shall always have the Image of my affection before your eyes and make nearer your approches to see how innumerable they are Pluck yours from your heart if you please to keep company with mine and afflict no more my quiet as heretofore you have done This goodly Oration being ended Fremond replyed unto him in neat and quick language that she believed she had not the power to captivate so gallant a Spirit as was his but she believed that he counterfeited for the most part to find a Subject whereon to exercise his Eloquence Ah Deerest Star said he you know not that you are already mounted on high above the Horizon of accomplished and that the miracle of your perfections and the perfection of your miracles with a soft violence have wounded my bleeding Soul O Damoisell as fair as you are cruell and as cruell as you are fair you do much resemble that treacherous Emperour Nero who took pleasure to see the City of Rome on fire for from the Turret of your merits you with delight behold not only the Suburbs but even the City of my heart to burn with all the Churches in it which I have dedicated to your Honour Know you not Lady that an Antient did speak this beautifull Sentence Amoris vulnus idem qui facit sanat Recover then a poor dying man I shall otherwise sing with the Poet Propertius whom you know to be a good Author and without reproach Solus Amor morbi non cupit Artificem In pursuance of this he did utter so many broken pieces of Latin that I believe he brought up all that which was within the sink of his Common Places under the title of Love Fremond without making apparence that she found any impertinence in his discourse did listen attentively to him and withall did answer him as favourably as he could desire which was the reason that he thus followed his Sute Why then more fair than Venus than Venus of Cyprus whatsoever Oration that miserable and passive I can make in the way of Demonstration and whatsoever Syllogism can flow from my mouth you cannot but thereby acknowledge that I am your Superlative Servant per omnes casus You were not born to serve Sir said Fremond to him there is no Maid so ambitious whatsoever she be that will take upon her the quality to be your Mistresse for my self I should be happy to assume that of Slave On that Hortensius made Replyes which for pleasantnesse of conceit were beyond all comparison and the discourses of all the Pedants in the world are not to be valued with them for he powred forth at once all the best phrases in the Latin Tongue and did assist himself with no small number of Greek Proverbs with which he interlarded his discourse I leave you to judge if Fremond did understand all that which he did speak She who received all the offers of his service in deriding them according to her custom did not stick to assure him that within few days she would come to give him a visit and would bring with her but two Neighbours that were Citizens and if it were possible the young Advocate that made love unto her who she said was her Cosin German Hortensius having notice of the day when the Queen of his heart would come unto his lodgings did make great preparations Love having made him prodigall He would willingly lay forth halt of his yearly pension to make a sumptuous collation I was of opinion that he would not have my Company and therefore to make sure work I resolved to make use of the opportunity A Bottle of Muscadell and another of Hippocras were in his Study which did most strongly tempt me but what means was there to obtain them Invention did assist me with a suddain Expedient in which apprehension I entred into the Chamber of Hortensius where observing him to read in a Book of a great bulk I looked upon the Title to see what it conteined It was a large Treatise of the State and power of the Turk Behold here a good Book said he I now have learned that which I did not know before It is good to live and to observe all things I do find that no man doth ever turn his Posteriors to the great Emperour who sits in the seat of Mahomet and whosoever departs from him he must goe backwards although he were the Ambassadour of France Do you remember this Truant said he Goe and write it down presently in your Table Book It is excellent indeed said I and smiled for since I found that he was amorous I thought my self as great a Master as himself and seeing his Study open I made but one step into it What doe you within there said he unto me I replyed I would look one word Sir in your Ovid It is in the corner of the little table said he I had nothing to do with Ovid howsoever the better to manage my design I took it up and finding the bottle of Hypocras which was too bigg to hide in my breeches I tyed it fast unto me with a point behind me and proceeding in my admirable Invention I came forth holding Ovid in my hand and going still backwards and backwards I said to my Master who at that present had his eys fixed on his Book Sir I have so great a desire to retain in my Memory the Reverence which is shewed to the great Turk that at this time I will go from you as if you were he I then did go backwards to the door in all the postures of a Mimick which caused him to laugh and having in this manner stoll'n his bottle I did open it in my study where I took some hearty draughts but for fear that I should meet him when he should be in the height of his Fury having discover'd my theft I presently returned to his Chamber and demanded leave of him to go forth which being obtained with a loud Exeat I took my bottle along with me under my gown and did empty it with a young Scholar of the City who was my friend After that I did goe to look out Fremond with whom I feared not to return into the College because I knew she was as able to appease the choler of Hortensius as a glasse of water is able to qualifie the heat of a glasse of wine She had but two neighbours in her company as she had promised with whom she came unto Hortensius not at the great Gate of the College but at the Bâ—…k door which for that purpose be caused to be opened although it bad before been kept fast locked above six years together After some amorous entertainment he took a pen in his hand and wrote certain verses on
rest should follow by turns Hortensius having read this Answer did throw it into the fire affirming that he would have nothing to doe with the affections or the Feasts of Fremond and being more wise for the time to come he did swear that he would indear himself no more to any Girles but the Muses who also do allure us because they are of that deceitfull Sex Although the Message his old Mistresse did send unto him was full of flatteries yet he would never endure the frequentation of her Company any more neverthelesse he discontinued not to wear a Sword and hath ever since lived on his Revenues and what he hath gained by translating some Books out of Latin into French or by being a Corrector of the Presse I finished all the course of my studies in the same College paying my pension to the Usher where nothing arrived worthy of recital but what already I have related to you and the Vacations of the year of my Philosophy being come I was commanded by my Father to take my leave of the College and to return to Brittany When I was in my own Country I saw the end of all my happinesse I was perpetually vexed by being demanded in what Calling I would imploy my self my ears were furred with the importunate clamors and counsells of my friends who would have me study Humanity and the tedious Volumes of the Law to be one of the Counsellers in Parlament but opinions do change when age comes on and my Father afterwards hated no men more than those of the long Robe as since he hath made it appear by one who married my Sister And my Mother desirous to comply with him in all things did seem to desire as well as himself to have me a Counsellor of the Law This did rellish so ill with me that it is impossible to represent it to you At that time I declamed within my self against the wickednesse of the Age where the natural Laws are corrupted and the most generous Spirits are constrained to take upon them a great charge to trouble their repose and cannot live in Quiet which is a blessing that is not denyed unto Beasts From day to day I delayed to learn that dangerous knowledge which I have always hated more than the plague it being the cause of the greatest part of our Vexations Being on the point to forsake my Fathers house he did fall extremely sick In vain the Physicians round about him did their endeavour to recover him so it was that he dyed and left his Wife and Children much afflicted for so great a losse After his death my Mother who accorded with me in all things which I desired did leave off the Resolution she had taken to force me to take the long Robe and because I was a stranger in Brittany being accustomed to the Air of Paris I besought her that she would permit me to return thither she demanded of me what I would do there I replyed to her that I would passe away some time in learning honest exercises and that I would indeavour to put my self in the service of some Prince My Brothers in Law did give their advice upon it and represented to me that Fortune reign'd most imperiously at the Court and shewed there the greatest effects of her inconstancy And briefly when I presumed to be in the highest degree of all her favours she would throw me down into the bottom of despair All this did not detere me I had nothing in my head but the greatnesse of the world In the end they gave me leave to put in practice my intention I returned to Paris and lodged in the University which I could not forget I was afterwards acquainted with a Man who had Chambers ready furnished and took Pensioners and I dayly repaired to a Player on the Lute a Fencer and a Dancer to learn their art so that one hour was to exercise my self in one faculty and the other in another I imployed all the remainder of my time to read indifferently all manner of Books and I learned more in three months than I did before in seven years in the College when I heard those Pedantick absurdities which did so corrupt my judgement that I believed all the Fables of the Poets to be true stories and did conceive to my self that there were Sylvans and Dryades in the Forests Nayades in the Fountains and Nereides in the Sea Moreover I believed that whatsoever was spoken of transformations was true and I never saw a Nightin gall but I believed it was the Kings Daughter of Thracia Neither was I alone abused in this conceit for I know a great many more and some Masters themselves who were of the same opinion As these old Errors were chased out of my understanding I filled it with better knowledge and setting my self to review my notes of Philosophy which our Regent had dictated unto me I did confer them with the best Authors I could find so that by my industry I was sufficiently instructed in every Science for a man that would not make a particular profession of them In the midst of these various entertainments I lived about a year in the greatest solitude in the world and very seldom did goe out of doors and walked then no further than on the old Banks which were near unto my lodging I was only visited by two or three young Gentlemen with whom I was acquainted I remember that one day there came with them one of this Country whose name was Raymond who some few days afterwards returned without any one in his company Looking in my Coffer after he was gone I found my little Box empty in which I had put at least threescore Crowns I remembred that I left him alone in my Chamber not suspecting him to be so light finger'd as he was When ever I saw him I spoke openly unto him what I though and we came to very sharp words which I followed with threats In the end I demanded of him if our controversies on the next morning should be decided by the Sword in some place out of the City He answered me that he could not then meet me because he was very early to go out of Town according to his promise to some of his Companions with whom he was to travell into Flanders The next day I sought all over Paris for him but could not find him and since I never saw him and do not know what is become of him O how great was my grief of heart to have lost my money with which I intended to have appareld my self being about to leave off my mourning habit to write unto my Mother for more would be more hurtfull than profitable for she would not be perswaded but that I had lost it at play and would have sent me nothing but Reproofs I received a Letter from her wherein she represented that I was poorer than I thought my self to be and that my Father had left many debts to
Soul This Fool who had so many Rational Intervalls was profitable to me in many other things He sometimes would discourse of things which would serve us as good Counsel in our most important affairs accordingly as it is said That Wise men learn oftentimes more of Fools than Fools can know to learn of Wise men Who will deny but that his words were Oracles when he shall understand what I am now about to account unto you One day being in the Chamber of Clerantes having observed a stattering Courtier who importuned his Master with humble Intreaties to do a Courtesie for him which lay in his power to perform He took a Bisket out of his Pocket and did shew it to a little Dogg that was in the Chamber The Dogg did leap upon him did lick him and did shake his tayl and seemed to demand the bread of him But he did lift up his Arm as high as he could and with an extravagant Voice cried out What! You would have me give it you would you You shall not have it Give it him Collinet said Clerantes who looked on them for he hath deserved it by his obsequiousnesse I imitate you Sir Signior Clerantes I imitate you said Collinet In what do you imitate me said Clerantes In this replyed Collinet that you must be intreated and flatter'd before you will grant that Man what he would have who now speaketh to you It is a great pleasure that you take to see your self importuned I am of advise that you ought not too soon to be deprived of that pleasure The Means we must use to maintain it is not to give that which is demanded of us or at least to hold off the Petitioners as long as civilly we can After we have once granted them their desire they will court us no longer as I will shew unto you by Example Having spoke those words he threw the Bisket to the Dogg who did run under the Bed to eat it which being done he came back again to Collinet to demand more He returns said Clerantes to make much of you again you do wrong to accuse him of Ingratitude After he knows that I have no more to give him he will leave me I will warrant you said Collinet And speaking those words he kicked him with his foot which made him run away and he return'd no more to make much of him again although he often call'd him to him Observe now said Collinet all those petitioning people who come to wait upon you they are all of the humor of your Dogg therefore take heed of them Thus Collinet was the Cause that his Master understanding that Fools do ordinarily Prophesie did make much of his advertisement and became afterwards an extraordinary Husband At that time the Troubles began again in France Clerantes was amongst the Principals of one Party which caused many to be much discontented at it Collinet was not well pleased neither with the Warr to which Clerantes was inforced to go He therefore discovered to Clerantes what he thought of it as he came out of a Chamber being called thithet to Counsel by some Personages of eminent Quality My good Lord said he These Counsellors are all Men of the Long Robe they never saw any battels but in Pictures or in Books If they were worth any thing they would never perswade you as they do to eschew Peace Do they know the Desolations which do follow the events of a Battel one hath his Arm shot off another hath his Head cloven assunder others are trampled under the Feet of the Horses and many die being mad with Rage I represent this unto you because I believe you are no more experienced than themselves in the affairs of Warr. You are not to be blamed if you refuse to assist in this Service of the Warr for what Glory is there in it The bravest Man in the world is oftentimes laid on the Ground by a Bullet from a Musket which peradventure some Coward did shoot to begin his Apprentiship in the War If Caesar Alexander Amadis de Gaul or Charlemain did live in these days they would not engage themselves so willfully as heretofore they did Their subjects also having need of their persons would disswade them from adventuring themselves in such desperate encounters For my self I delight not in Murder and had rather be present at the Death of Pullets than of Men Let us therefore return to Paris and make good chear It is better to see Broaches than Pikes and Pots than Drums and the Utensils of a Kitchin than the Utensils of Warr. Your Imployment must be to see if the Canons be well mounted If the Troups of Horse be well quartered but in Paris your March is only to see handsom Ladies with whom delightfully you may passe away your time Although that Clerantes did turn all his Discourse into Laughter at that present yet afterwards he made profit of it as of a secret advertisement which Heaven did send unto him by a Man in the midst of his Madnesse and approved of what he did allege as if they had been the pregnantest Reasons of the profoundest Philosophers in the world Peace being made we returned to Paris where Clerantes addressing himself to the fair and the fair-spoken Lucy he did find in her more powerfull charms than ever and was so strongly enamour'd of her that he never departed departed out of her house One day he took with him Collinet having put him into a frolick humour by the means of two or three glasses of Wine which he had caused him to drink more than ordinary Collinet did sometimes behold her beauty which infinitly did please him and sometimes he would look upon his Master who still did constantly gaze upon her At the last he observed that his Master did cast down his eyes on Lucies Breasts to see her Paps between the small openings of her Handkerchief which did inflame him with a vehement desire Collinet taking more notice of it did take a pair of Cizers from the Chambermaid that waited on her and gently approaching unto Lucy did cut the strings with which the Handkerchief was made fast and took it from her She turned to him to reprove him for his impudence but he immediatly did prevent here and said You do much wrong to my Master to conceal that from him which he hath so great a desire to behold let him look his fill and if you will be perswaded by me you may permit him also to touch your Breasts You see said Clerantes I cannot fail for an Advocate my cause is so good that it is even able to defend it self neverthelesse I am not assured to gain it because you are both the Judge and the party that is interested also I know not what to think of it said Lucy for your Advocat doth use a rude violence with his Hands and no smooth perswasion with his Tongue Clerantes observing that Lucy was not contented with that action did whisper her in
make leggs and faces parts very necessary in a Courtier and if I had known how to have made them I had not so vile a Soul as by such Arts to advance my self I loved always the acutenesse and flourish of Wit and prompt words which do testifie a good understanding but not those words which are more fit for a Juggler or a Corn-cutter than a Scholar such as the foolish Courtiers do admire and moreover when I would speak any thing agreeable to Sense it must be either particularly to content my self or some others who were of my Complexion and Condition and not to content those who did conceive themselves to be farre above me Because therefore I could not procure their Favour who were the greatest Men at the Court I consorted my self with those who make it their businesse only to laugh and to make love in whose Company although there was less Profit yet there was more Contentment Neverthelesse it was impossible for me not to reflect upon my self without much grief for the losse that I made of my Youth which I should have imployed for the comfort and advantage of those to whom I was obliged to tender all service and for my own advantage in particular which was the occasion that when sometimes I was in company and did deliver my self amongst them I immediately became as one that was dumb and suffering my self to be carried away by the violence of the fit I seemed not the same Man which I was accustomed to be but as One indued with another Constitution and had changed my Nature with my Mirth I was extremely afflicted with this Metamorphosis and as much as possibly I could I constrained my self to the contrary but because the Cause of my Grief could not so easily be taken away seeing Objects every day that did increase my Malady I had need in this particular of some extraordinary Remedy or of a voluntary Banishment Clerantes who understood my Disease and the Original of it did with all his power indeavour to comfort me and did take me along with him to a fair house which he had in the Country and there said unto me What have you done with your frolick humor I shall take off some of the Estimation which your merit until now hath obliged me to conceive of it if you do not indeavour your self to be merry You afflict your self with the disorder of the world Take no more thought of it for it cannot be redressed In despight of all men let us live contrary to them Let us not follow any of their sottish Customes For my self I will for ever abandon the Court where I never received the least Content If here in the Country we will passe away our time in the Delights of Love we shall find lusty young Beauties and farre surpassing those of the Court who are covered over with Painting proceeding from a thousand Inventions to make plump their lank and exhausted flesh I remember I have lain with some of them so lean that I had rather almost be put upon the Rack When I was last with Lucy I perceived that her Beauty proceeded more from Art than Nature Her body was composed of nothing but Skin and Bones The free Humor of this Lord did please me and I readily consented to him in whatsoever he desired He had abandoned his Greatnesse at the Court without retaining so much as the Memory of it and stooped so low that on Sundays he would dance under the Elms with the old Blades of the Parish Peter and Lucrin He would play at Bowls with them for a Supper and took delight to see them drink deep and to hear them relate the Wonders of their Times When he was in the most serious humor he would send for the Antiquity of his Tenants and would intreat them to give an account unto him of whatsoever they did remember was done in the dayes of their Youth O what a delight did he receive to hear them discourse of the affairs of State of which they expressed themselves according to their own opinions and the opinion of their Grand-fathers laying alwayes all the blame on those Lords who were most near unto the person of the King For my self of my own Nature I did nothing approve the communication of such ignorant and misguided People neverthelesse to be responsible to him I did so inforce my self to be merry that I might safely assure him I did take some pleasure when it was nothing else but to see him merry because my principal design was to enjoy the honour of his Company in some pleasant condition of life In this manner I did deport my self until a gallant design did invade me which few other men would undertake It was told me that about three miles from thence there lived in a Farm one of the most handsome Women in the World I resolved to put my self into the habit of a Peasant and to carry with me Viol on which I could play with dexterity enough that by that means I might be admitted the more near unto her company That which did beget this resolution in me was that I understood this delicate Creature did love to laugh very heartily and to entertain her friends with the most pleasant discourses I hoped therefore to give her such facetious language that it should be the greatest of pleasures to hear our Salutations And it fell out so happily that on that day in which I was resolved to goe there was a wedding in the Village Clerantes having a mind to ramble with me did furnish himself with a Cymbal to accompany me because it is an Instrument which is not difficult to play upon for you must only strike upon the strings within it with a wire on the cadence of every Song In the morning we departed out of the House with our accustomed habiliments causing it to be noised abroad that we were to travail twelve leagues we took not any one with us but the Groom only of my Chamber a close and a cunning Wagg Being about four miles from Clerantes house we entred into a thick wood where we did cloath our selves with raggs Clerantes did cover his face half over with a napkin and made his beard black which was naturally of a flaxen colour because he would not be known by any As for my self I only did put a playster on one of my eyes and did put an old hat on my head the brims whereof I could at my pleasure either lift up or pull down because it was cloven in the middle as if it were the Umbrier of some Troopers old Head-piece In this Equipage we marched to the Village where the Nuptials were to be solemnized My Groom had set our Horses into a Stable and attended at the Inn until such time as we should have need of his service We did steer the direct way to the Father of the young Maid who was to be married whom we found to be a good honest Country Fellow
given way that we should have fought by Torch-light he would never have made mention of it He made these Rodomantadoes out of a vain custom he had used ever since he had been a learner in the Fencing School and when he did expresse himself most highest his heart did always at that time beat most In effect he did speak only of the Duel because he was constrained to it and did indeavour to amuze me by his connterfeit resolution At the fast Montespin did cause us to lie in two beds which he had prepared for us and in the morning he did indeavour himself to make us friends alleging that it would redound to our dishonour if we should kill one another for nothing I had no desire that our difference should be so taken up so that I did leave Montespin and said unto Baiamond Let us goe then to look out him whom you wor of to put an end unto our controversie He followed me not knowing what I would say and I then propounded to him to return unto the place where yesterday we were and to fight our Duel there I charged my Enemy as violently as possibly I could and gave him so many blowes that he was hardly able to sustain them As I was striking one blow with all the force I had his horse curvetting received it upon his eyes which were immediatly covered with blood and did put him in such a rage that he would be governed no more by the Bridle or the Spur. His Master had enough to do to save himself with all the art and industry he had neverthelesse he carried him into a place full of dirt where I followed him so close that I might have killed him if I would but I had no desire to wound him in his back I cryed out unto him to return At the last he got so much power over his Horse that approaching to me he did give me a wound in my left Arm. Immediatly after he had hurt me his Horse did shake himself with such a sudden violence that he did throw him into a Ditch full of dirt where to be revenged of my wound I might have given him a hundred mortal ones if I had a desire thereunto I was contented to put the point of my sword to his throat and to assure him if he would not confesse that he owed his life unto me I would take it from him He who could not rise from the place where he was was constrained to submit unto me in all things and afterwards I did the best I could to assist him I told him if he had got such an advantage over me he would hardly have used me with that humanity and because I said you shall not impute your misfortune to the disadvantage that I was on Horseback and you on foot and that our quarrel may at this present be decided Let us begin if you please the Combat again because I observe that nothing but you cloathes have received any prejudice by your fall As I spoke those words Montespin who followed us close enough did presse in upon us and said No No you have given both of you sufficient proofs of your valour you must not proceed so far as to have your controversie determined by Death It is sufficient Francion what you have demonstrated and I am the Witnesse of it that it was in your power to have killed Baiamond Although the Count had confessed this himself necessity forcing him thereunto yet he was much perplexed to behold that Montespin was present who was as a judge of the fight and were it not for the incommodity he re-received that his cloaths were so full of Mudd that he was hardly able to stir in them I do believe he would have begun the fight again His Friend did lead him to a Village hard by where he caused him to disvest himself and for my self I returned to Paris to take care of my wound I declared what had befallen me to Clerantes who did publish it to the disadvantage of Baiamond and withall insisted much on the Justice of my Cause seeing the Count would have assaulted me by the greatest treachery in the world for a subject of no moment It was brought also to the ears of the King who very much reproved Batamond And there was not so much as Collinet our Fool who did not highly exclaim against him for the Injury he would have done me On the other side I was by every one extolled I do speak it without presumption and my courtesie was much commended which I exercised toward my Enemy in that I would not kill him when it was in my power to doe it and when the many indignities I received from him did provoke me to it It undoubtedly did manifest that I had a great command over my Soul that I would not suffer it to be misgoverned by the importunity and impetuousnesse of my Choler By this occasion I procured to my self the favour of Protogenes who was one of the bravest Princes in Europe There was nothing in me which he esteemed not He much approved my discourse and the reasons I did give for whatsoever I did speak and gave me liberty to expresse my self freely before him whether the subject were good or evil knowing well enough that I would not reproach any one but those only who did well deserve it One time I published a Satyr which I had made against a certain Lord of whose degree I made no mention nor of his name There was at the same time another Lord in the Court who believed the Satyr was made on himself and complained of it to Protogenes who with smiles told me what he had heard to be reported I made answer to him My Lord It is easie to conclude that he who made this complaint unto you is extremly vicious for were he not he would never imagin that these lashing verses did strike at him When I made the Satyre I knew not if there were such a man in the world or not and yet because he hath all the Vices of other men I have not whipped that Vice which is not in his Soul Behold the Subject of his affliction he should have been more carefull of his honour and not of himself made the world to understand what is the life which he doth lead at the Court But grant that I had composed the Satyre on himself if he were a wise man he would not make the least appearance to be moved at all I remember that another Lord of the Court not long since did cause a poor Poet to be beaten for having defamed him in his verses But what think you was the Event of it It reflected worse on my Lord than it did before for although the poor Rimer received blowes on his back in as vast measure and cadence as were the verses which he made yet the people were unsatisfied until they knew what was the offence he had committed the occasion being known and divulged
with a great impatience attended to understand the resolution what Raymond would doe with him The Steward assured him that on the next day he would bring him certain intelligence of it and he failed not to come unto him according to his promise and assured him that his Master had conceived so extreme a displeasure against him ever since he had spoken something to him on the day forgoing that he believed he was resolved to put him to death Francion a long time deliberated with himself what offence he had committed against Raymond and being not able to find it out he was the most amazed man in the world He was throughly recovered of the pain which he had in his head and now he had no malady but in his Soul only He would fain have put on his Cloâ—ths to address himself to Raymond to understand what was the wrong which he had done him and to assure him that if he would demand satisfaction of him in the way of Knighthood he was ready to fight with him in the field â—ut his cloaths were not in his chamber and it was told him that a greaâ— charge was given that he should not rise He was therefore constrained to keep his bed until the day following at what time the Steward early in the morning came unto him with one of the Grooms of Raymonds Chamber who told him they came to assist to make him ready Francion made answer that they should not take so much pains for he desired that not any but his own Man might come unto him but answer was returned that Raymond would not give way that he should speak unto him The End of the Seventh Book THE EIGHTH BOOK OF THE COMICAL HISTORY OF FRANCION THe Adventures which Francion incountred in his minority have been already rehearsed in the forgoing Books where I have always brought him in speaking in his own person what were the fortunes that did attend him It is now time that his Historian should speak for him and deliver the rest of his Adventures in the same strain and method And I am resolved to doe it without taking care what it is because I have undertaken it and it may suffice that I doe give upon it this particular advertisement that I have not found a more easie or more pleasing remedy against the affliction which a long time hath possessed me than to write a History which should be as delighfull as it is serious seeing a sad cause doth oftentimes produce a joyfull effect Neither shall I regard the reproofs of some foolish persons who will blame me for this work seeing the most ingenious Spirits that were ever known have vouchsafed to follow these studies and that our present life would appear too full of affliction and too tedious if we did nor take off the unpleasing severity of it with some delightfull interposure It is to be too desperately melancholy to imagin that he who makes a profession of Virtue ought not to take any recreation at all Let him act Heraclitus who hath a mind to it and weep at the follies of the world for my part I had rather personate Democritus the most important affairs of this world being but as an Enterlude unto me And seeing that laughter amongst all living Creatures is only proper unto man I believe it is not given him without great reason and that he is not only allowed to laugh himself but to make others to laugh also It is true that my first design was not to make this contentment vulgar nor to please a number of people whom I doe not know who may read this Comical History being printed My intention was only in particular to please my friends for I considered with my self that all the world esteemed not this liberty of jeering mirth not knowing that there is nothing more difficult than to be happy in it Moreover it did much trouble me to observe that as serious things were only read by learned men so vanities and follies were the proper studies of the vain and ignorant and that there is not so poor a Groom who doth not make it his businesse to be taken with them Neverthelesse men of sound Judgement have advised me to publish this Book and have so prevailed upon me that at the last I have obeyed their perswasions and I am of a belief that my Book may please as well the wise men in the world as the simple although they differ much in judgement And because it hath been approved by some who are the professed lovers of wisedom I will confesse with them that I have mingled pleasure with profit and that in deriding the vicious I have so handsomly reproved their Vices that there is some hope left that it will administer a good desire unto them to correct themselves being ashamed of their passionate actions But it may so fall out that I doe but flatter and deceive my self and I do entertain too high an opinion of my work and of the disposition of Men. I know there are a generation of people so stupid that they will not profit by it and will believe that all my discourse is for no other purpose but to give them pleasure only and not to correct their humours It therefore will be objected to me that to meet with all sorts of men it were my easiest and readyest course seriously to reprove all sorts of Vices so that I might perswade the wicked rather to repentance than to laughter but there was one reason which hindred me from taking that way which is that I must use a certain artifice to draw and allure all the world It is necessary that I should imitate the Apothecaries who with sugar cover their bitter potions to cause them to goe down the better A Satyr whose apparence had been fierce and wild would have diswaded men from the reading of it by its title only I shall only say that by similitude I do shew a fair Palace which on the outside hath the apparence to be filled with liberty and delights but within there is nothing to be seen but severe Censures unreprovable Accusers and rigorous Judges Here are Fables and Inventions to be seen which without all doubt will appear to the Ignorant to be full of simplicity who have not the capacity to dive into the depth of them Neverthelesse these Fables doe contain such Truths that no man yet had ever the boldnesse to represent them I include also in this book the evil actions of persons of authority because in these days we do not love to behold Truth stark naked and I do take it for a maxim That sometimes we ought to hold our peace that we might speak more freely for a longer time that is to say it is good to moderate our passionate language and to confine our selves to certain times for fear that the great ones should unresistably apprehend us and condemn us to a perpetual silence I had rather lose my good words than my good
she would doe and say if I were out of the world I did counterfeit my self to be dead In this contrivement a Cosin of mine did much assist me at whose House I was yesterday very late in the Evening who came unto my Wife to acquaint her that having drank something He knew not what that was mingled in a glasse with White wine I did throw my self upon the Bed where I was drawing to an end This News did not soften her heart at all She made answer That she had so great a desire to sleep that she could not rise to come unto me without the most apparent danger in the world Finding that we attended till this Morning to put an end unto our Enterprize He brought me hither having one of his Servants to assist him and put me upon this Bed where ever since I have lain like a dead Man and addressing himself to my Wife he said unto her Behold your dead Husband I am sorry that you were not present when he surrendred his Soul to God you might then have known his last Will and seen with what diligence I have assisted him She made answer in groans unto him O God! Is my good Man dead I shall never find another that will equal him in the goodnesse of his Disposition Tell me what he said unto you being near unto his end Keep not one word from me it will serve for a great consolation to me He replyed You do much deceive your self it will serve unto you for Remorse of Conscience all you life if you have a relenting Soul and carefull of its own Salvation My Cosin assured me that you were the Cause of his Death and that he came to my house as to a Refuge to protect him from the afflictions which he indured in your Company Alas said she How unhappy am I What discourtesies have I done him that he died with so much rancor against me He will not then pray to God for me in the other world Saint Mary Our Neighbors can all witnesse the good Entertainment that he always hath received from me It is above a month ago since the least noise was heard in our house Son of David I was so ready to obey all his Commandments that but yesterday I though I should have broke my neck in running down the stairs to fetch his Wine for him Alas poor Man He never drank since in my Company and never now shall drink in it again My Cosin gave her leave to make an end of her dolefull Complaints and departed from her to understand whether her griefs were counterfeit or not He was no sooner gone but she sent for that Woman whom you see who is no better than her self and for her Adulterer also She said unto them Companions My Husband is dead Have not I a good Cause to weep The old Woman replyed unto her Are you a Fool Do you forget the Wishes that so often you have made She made answer No my good Friend But what will the Neighbours say if I shall not weep And since it is the Custom to weep let me alone I will have tears in abundance although I have occasion enough to laugh I will have Onions always in my Handkerchief and wipe my eyes with them Speaking those words her tears ceased Her eyes have learn'd the trick to make her tears to run and cease when she pleaseth She afterwards proceeded in her Discourse Upon my Faith he hath done well to die and I wondred what he meant so long to deferr it I therefore resolved with my self to assist him in it for having long ago made so many deep protestations to me to dislodge from this world I conceived with my self that if he tarried any longer in it he must needs be damn'd for not keeping his word if he should have upright Judges Am I not now a happy Woman all that is in this House is mine He hath given me it all at the Contract of his Marriage I have now gained by St. John for the evil life which I did lead with him All the Night long he lay be me as unmovable as a Block He had one Member of his Body which long ago for ought that I do know was as intirely dead as if it had been touched with Thunder Her Companion replyed unto her Comfort your self then Behold where your Friend is who will give you the best Content in the world Hereupon because all the Curtains about the Bed were drawn that I could not be discovered I lifted up my head a little and peeping through a little place where the Curtains lay open at the foot of the Bed I beheld this gallant imbracing and kissing my Wife The pains which I took to raise my head were such that it gave an unexpected passage to a furious wind which proceeded from me and did much amaze them all O Lord said my Wife He is not dead Hark how he farteth You will be a Fool still said her Companion Do you think that dead Bodies do not break wind Why things that have no life at all do fart Be you where you will you shall in every place hear something or other that will make such a noise be it never so little As for him It may be that some of his Eones made a crack at the dis-joynting of them or rather it was some wind which remained yet in his Body and finding not the passage open could not but with violence break forth Besides we ought to believe that his Body being heavy as it is did cause the Bed to crack which is made but of the thinnest wood Ah Villain said my Wife It was all his delight to break wind backward when he was alive and now he doth practise it being dead He had the wind at Command and high or low would make it so to blow at his pleasure that I wonder the State did not send for him to make him their Mariner He would oftentimes lay wagers to let such a number of Farts at once which should all come ratling from him like a peal of Ordnance and in two or three hundred at a clap the would not misse you one of his number It was his ordinary sport amongst his Companions and he did get a great deal of money by it But my good Friend that we may be sure to be troubled with him no more It were better for us to bury him too soon then too late Let us therefore put our hands to the work and give me a needle and thred Having spoke those words she did draw the Curtain and as she stooped to look upon me it being high time for me to act out my part having known the small Esteem she had of me I lifted up my Arm and applyed my hand fast unto her cheek which did put her into an excesse of fear I said unto her I am not yet dead you Slut and if it shall please God I one day shall lay thee in the Earth and
Servant being obliged to him did promise him to perform whatsoever was in the compass of his power and according to his directions he did repair to Valerius and told him That Nays was overcome with the pains he had taken to wait upon her and desired nothing more than to delight her self in his Company but she could not entertain him as she would because she had two other Lovers who were so importunate with her and especially the Frenchman whom they ought to stand in fear of because as yet they were upon the Lands of his Country where he had both Friends and Power Notwithstanding she was resolved to grant him some hours of Entertainment and desired him to come in the dusk of the Evening in a habit like to that of her own Servants Having acquainted Valerius with this he addressed himself to Ergastus to give him the same Invitation so that they both apparelled themselves accordingly as they were prescribed believing that it was highly necessary to keep them from being discovered Valerius came first to Nays House and as he was knocking at the door Ergastus arrived who taking Valerius for one of the Ladies Servants demanded of him if his Mistresse were in Bed or not Valerius answered something stubbornly That he could not tell Ergastus could not endure his arrogance and being transported into choler did give him some injurious language whereupon they fell to blows with their fists In this Commotion one came to the Gate with a Candle by the light whereof knowing one another they were two of the most amazed Creatures in the world and being confounded with shame they returned by severall ways to their own lodgings Meeting again on the next morning they had the curiosity to demand of one another wherefore they were so disguised And because they could not conceal that they were infinitely amorous of Naeys and did whatsoever lay in their power to procure her good will they accounted one unto the other the message they received and perceived that there was some one who had a design upon them They did send to seek out the Groom who did bring the message to them and conjured him to tell them for what cause he had delivered to them both the same errand Seeing they could draw from him no other answers but what carryed no probability of truth with it they promised him a great recompense so that being tempted partly with that and partly with the love which he did bear to those of his own Country he declared to them that he had done nothing but by the Counsell of Francion At these tydings they were resolved to be revenged and as soon as an occasion should offer it self to pay the Frenchman in his own metal Hereupon they did shake hands and became entire friends to have the better opportunity to hurt their common and dangerous Enemy and propounded to themselves not to prosecute their loves until they could be acquitted of his Company Nays understanding the ill will they did bear unto him whom she loved and fearing that some mischief might ensue would not look upon him with the least favour and did forbear to speak unto him but when necessity did oblige her to it This much perplexed Francion who propounding to himself that she disdained him it caused him to send many Letters of Love unto her by her Servants who at the last assured him that their Mistresse did charge them to acquaint him that she desired not that he should send any more such letters to her One day as privately as he could he accosted a female servant of Nays who did wish him well and conjured her by all manner of Imprecations to acquaint him with the cause of her Ladies displeasure She consented to discover it unto him provided that he would promise to keep it secret He having made all the protestations that she could desire she informed him that her Lady suspecting the dangerous enterprise of his Rivalls would not make manifest the affection which she did bear unto him until she was got forth from those unknown places and saw him in her own lands where she could interpose her authority whatsoever accident might befall This gratefull news did bring him as great contentment as he possibly could imagin and for his consolation he began to nourish in his Soul a great hope at the policy of his Mistresse who would make him to languish a little in despair to render afterwards her favours the more precious When they were come into Italy Valerius and Ergastus thought they should easily find the means to intrap him as indeed they well might doe They did prosecute him with extraordinary respect and did not speak unto him but in the most civil Complements of the world If his Spirit were not at that time entirely possessed with the agonies of Love which caused him to think on nothing else he might well conceive that this extraordinary entertainment of his Rivals proceeded only out of a desire which they had to draw him into their ambuscadoes Being therefore become a stranger to his accustomed prudence he took no care of them and fondly believed that they did bear unto him no lesse good will in their hearts than they expressed by their words To recreate himself he was seen altogether in their company because he durst not speak unto Nays and he did goe to seek them out himself in the places where they lodged One morning he did meet them just before the Gate of the house where Nays was lodged where he beheld a Gentleman with great joy to salute Ergastus as if he had not seen him a long time before afterwards he whispered some words in his ear to which Ergastus only answered by the shaking of his head Gentlemen said Ergastus turning himself afterwards to Valerius and Francion Behold here a fair occasion which offers it self to content your curiosities The Master of this Gentleman is Governour of a strong Castle two leagues from this place he hath heard of my arrival and hath sent unto me to invite me with my company to his Castle you shall goe along with me if you please according to his desire Valerius made answer that he had never the happinesse to know that Signior and therefore he could not believe that he desired his Company and for his own part he was not so ill advised as to be importunate with any man to be obliged to him for a courtesie Francion with greater reason made an answer much to the same sense But Ergastus seeming discontented thereat did say unto them Lose not the opportunity you have to behold many excellent things There are great rarities in this place to which you are invited to goe There are the true Bones of a man of a prodigious greatnesse There are to be seen all sorts of Arms and antient medals The most exquisite things in all the world are there in one abridgement to be seen Goe along with me I beseech you for I have no desire to
heat of that passion she could not chuse but love him as well as before and was angry with Nature because she had not given her beauty enough to captivate him who did disdain her Her transportation was so violent that she resolved with her self to live always a Widdow rather than to marry any other but him only whom she desired so that both Ergastus and Valerius did unprofitably continue to render those submissions to her which might have mollified the heart of any other The people of Francion travailed many miles to seek out their Master of whom they would receive no intelligence In the mean time he remained in the deep Cave where he was visited in the Evening by a Man who opened the Wicket of the Gate to give him wherewith to eat He enquired for what cause he was detained Prisoner and greatly complained of the Treachery that was committed against him The Jaylor made answer You are not the first whom I have seen deceived in this manner for during the late wars the chair wherein you sate hath served to intrap many gallant personages who by several subtilties have been betrayed into this Castle Francion having answered That this advertisement was uncomfortable he was left there until the next day when he was visited again by the same Man who for eight days together failed not twice a day to bring him meat and drink He had within him diverse considerations wherewith he did assist himself to mitigate his afflictions He represented to himself that it was as well for him to be locked up where he was than to be at liberty in the world where it is a folly to look for any true contentment At the least he was now delivered from the sight of the enormities of this age and had the leisure to nourish his Spirit with several instructions of the profoundest Philosophy The Captain having not cruelty enough to suffer him to dye by languishment nor to cause poyson to be given to him which would have a more sudden effect did determine to grant him his liberty and seeing that Ergastus was now a great way from him he did not much mind to put what he promised in execution He one night did send some men into the prison where he was who with all their force did take his cloaths from him and delivered him to some Country-men that were present and having blinded his eys and tyde his hands and his feet they carried him to a small River which passed by the side of the Castle there was a little Boat on the Bank into which they did put him and they did permit him to be carried away by the current of the stream the drift whereof did bear him a great way He could never imagine in what place he was but by turning himself up and down he conjectured that he was in some Beer After that it was morning he was a long time beaten up and down by the wind because there was no body upon the River at the last some men who were comming up the River in a Bark did meet with this Boat They immediatly stopped the Boat and having brought it to the Bank they did take the Man out of it and having unblinded him they demanded of him who did put him there He did answer them the best he could making not the least mention of his quality so that he was taken by them to be some poor man Hunger inforcing him he was constrained to take his Repast with those people who belonged to the Neighbouring Village He had no money about him and knew not whither to go to borrow any His cloaths were so ragged and so unsightly that he could hardly be taken for what he was if he had discovered himself He knew not where his train of Servants were and it was impossible for him to go to look them out because he had no Passe to travel neither was he minded to demand one because he was not assured in what place to find any of his people and he was afraid to go into the Towns for fear he should meet with some who did know him and seeing him in such an equipage should entertain some bad opinion of him He concluded that it was his surest course to attend a little until Raymond and Dorini were come into Italy according to their promises He assured himself of all assistance from them that he could desire and believed that he might impart his Misfortunes in his Letters to them in whatsoever place they were For the rest he was well content for a few dayes to keep himself in a place where he was unknown and where he might have the leisure to digest into order an infinite number of excellent meditations which he had in the time of his Imprisonment He who had given him his Dinner seeing him of a good countenance demanded of him If he would stay with him to keep his sheep his Shepherd being dead not long before to which Francion did readily agree And let none think strange of it that he accepted of that Condition there was nothing in it which was not worthy of his gallantry The greatest men in the world have been sometimes addicted to the like Condition to live with the more tranquillity of Spirit The Charge of the Flock being given to him he did lead them forth into the fields every day and in the way he studied on divers things he had to write He composed many Verses in the praise of Nays and on the passion which he had for her He alwayes did contemplate on her beauties in whatsoever place he was and although at the first he was much afflicted because that with his cloaths they had taken her Pourtraict from him he did patiently endure that losse because he had her Picture ingraven in his heart which did better represent her and shewed it self more lively far unto him in darknesse than by day He did one day repair to the house of a Gentleman where he saw a little Lute on which there was not any one who could play He did demand it of him assuring him that he knew a little how to finger that Instrument and having it given to him he found the means to accouter it with good strings and became afterwards the Orpheus of the Village The Gentleman whom he overcame by his Importunities was nothing sorry of his gift after he had heard him to play so well thereon To the Musick of the Lute he had also such good Songs that his company began to be in great request On Sundays and Holydays he was always at Feasts sometimes at one and sometimes at another where he did eat and drink with as much appetite as at the Court and did laugh as heartily That which most of all did please him was that he did not fear any envious eye to be such an observe of his actions as to make a glosse upon them and to defame him by back biting him There was no person offended that he
an accomplished Shepherd but also by a most accomplished Courtier And I am well able to maintain this Discourse because I have the happinesse to see you Oh God! said Iocunda Truly I have been much deceived until this present for I thought that flatterers were no where to be found but at the Court only but you can flatter here as much as they do there Francion replyed Truth is spoken by all Iocunda did then leave him to keep her Mother Company who walked alone She was astonished to hear a Shepherd to discourse so well many times believed that it was a Dream but her Admiration did far more increase when she heard him about ten of the clock in the Evening to sing and play on his Lute under her window She knew who it was by some words in his Song where he did beseech her not to despise the Shepherd to whom she had spoken It was a thing which did appear unto her to be truly wonderfull that a Man of his Condition should make so good Verses as were those which he rehearsed and moreover that he did sing and play on the Lute as well as the Masters that made profession of it The dull Peasants to whom these perfections had been shown did not so much admire him as she did whose excellent Spirit was known in all things But all this was nothing to the worth of the Letter of Love which the next morning she received from him where she found all the richest Flowers of Eloquence He used no other artifice to have it conveyd to her hand but to put it in a little basket made of Rushes which a young Girl did present unto her as it were in the minority of her Duty Her Spirit was in great unquietnesse what she should do in the pursute of her new Lover whose Condition was no wayes pleasing to her If his Merit had not qualified her discontent she would not have been pleased at his boldnesse to send a Letter of Love unto her She had a great desire to understand where he had been brought up to so many qualities of a Gentleman And this was the Cause that she did go forth alone at the back-door into the adjacent fields and permitted him the liberty to speak unto her having met her in a place not farre from her Fathers house where he did feed his flock After that he had given her the time of the day and witnessed the joy he received to have so happily incountred her she said unto him Gentle Shepherd I do believe that to please me you will now give me the proofs of that which you have told me that you are as accomplished a Lover as any who have their being in the City or the Court. Francion replyed It is not any delight I take to be a Shepherd but a Necessity that doth constrain me to this Condition of life I cannot believe that said Iocunda Francion replyed There is nothing more true than that your Beauties have the power to transform me into any thing I should be sorry that any other Subject than the most beautifull one in the world should cause me to disgrace my self into the liberty to do what I have done I know well enough that the baseness of my Conditiō doth much hinder me in the obtaining of your favour I do therefore use my utmost endeavour to repair that defect by mine excessive affection with which I hope well to deserve it Iocunda smiling at this discourse as in some disdain of him did immediatly change the compliment and demanded of him where he had been bred up He promised her that on the next day if she pleased to take the pains to come to the same place where he then was he would declare unto her all along that which she desired to know having at that present no desire to speak unto her concerning any thing of which he had not before deliberated with himself according to the Rules of exactest judgement Staying a little longer with him she informed her self of divers particulars She told him in what a wild fame he lived over all the Country and that the Peasants bad almost caused her to believe that he had gained by the Magick art those perfections which he had The day following they came both to the appointed place Iocunda challenged Francion of his promise which he readily accomplished speaking to her in this manner If you should not have intreated me to relate unto you who I am it were necessary that of my self I should inform you if that I do desire that you should regard the affection which I do bear unto you I therefore do declare unto you That I am a Gentleman of one of the most Noble Families in France and having some times since seen you in the City where you are accustomed to live your attractions did so vanquish me that I resolved with my self to take the habit of a Villager knowing that you were comming hither that so I might made my self known unto you without giving suspition unto any Having recited this Fiction to her to oblige her the more to respect him he inchanted her with a thousand proofs of an extreme love And she not doubting but that he was of great qualitie did not fail to assure him that the pains he had taken should be well recompenced and although he was in that rustick habit yet he had the apparence of a gallant young Man insomuch that she did bear almost as much affection to him as if he had been covered with the richest apparel that the greatest Courtiers do wear The assurances of reciprocal love being given on one side and the other they discoursed afterwards on divers particulars Iocunda related to Francion many bold stories by which the Country people would have perswaded her that he did practise the black art but Francion who would not deceive her as he had done the ignorant Peasants did make known to her the greatest part of the Causes for which these Rumors were dispersed amongst the multitude and she received much contentment at the pleasant relation of them The hour of their departure being come before they did bid Farewell to one another they deliberated with what Inventions for the time to come they should assist themselves because that Iocunda could not come every day out of her Fathers house to speak with Francion but one or other would be apt to suspect discover their affairs She determined therfore to counterfeit her self sick to give an occasion to her Lover to come unto her who according to the Vulgar opinion could give a suddain Remedy for all manner of maladies This being resolved upon they took leave of one another and returned to their habitations Jocunda on the same day did begin to put her design in execution and complained to her Mother that she began to be grieved with the cholick Her Mother no sooner heard of it but she pittied her with her heart she flattered her with
her Tongue she stroaked her with her hand and caused her to lie down upon the bed If there had been any Physicians near unto her they had immediatly been sent for Before any thought was had of Francion the Tenant who farmed the house of her Husband said unto her that it was expedient for him to send for him to give her Physick The Father of Iocunda did reply that he would not trust the life of his only child to such a Mountebanck Why say you so said the Farmer do you fear that he cannot as well recover your Daughter as he hath cured all other persons to whomsoever he hath given Physick Believe me he is a Devil incarnate I know not that thing which he is not able to perform He knows more than the Curate himself of our Parish and at his pleasure can decline Victus over him The Father of Iocunda giving credit at last to the assurances of many persons concerning the knowledge of Francion did consent that he should be sent for After he had seen the sick person and felt her pulse he took a little Viol out of his Pocket in which he had a certain Oâ—l which he warmed and dipped a linnen cloath in it to put it upon her stomach The hour was so favourable to him that at that time there were not any nere unto the bed so that pretending to apply his remedy unto her he took the boldnesse to feel her breasts And that it might be believed that he had extraordinary experience in all things she not long afterwards told her Mother that she found her self in much ease and seemed to have a great mind to be merry Turning therefore to the Shepherd she said unto him Shepherd I have heard it reported that you do play well upon the Lute shall I have that power over you as to intreat you to give me a lesson or two Francion replyed you have an absolute command over me although I know I am not able to give you any pleasure by playing on my Lute howsoever I will use the best Art I have rather than fall into a disobedience to your commands He would have gone for his Lute himself but they would not put him to so much trouble and sent one of their Grooms to his lodging for that purpose when he began to touch his Lute all the world were ravished at the harmony of it and especially Iocunda Her Father and Mother desiring nothing more with greater passion than her health and contentment observing that she took delight in the Musick of the Shepherd did invite him to come the next day to passe away the time with her They were then abroad to take care for the affairs of their Husbandry and this was the time in which Francion had the leisure to testifie his Love unto his Mistresse and she was so much overcome that she made a promise to him to satisfie his desires They found in the fields invitations enough wherewith to delight and detain themselves but that Evening Iocunda returned with her Father and Mother into the City All things there did seem to be quite contrary unto her design for the house had high Walls on both sides and the gates were always locked She did write to Francion who stayed in the Village in what a strait prison she was locked up and assured him that nevertheless if he could by any means come secretly to her with the Wagoner of their Village he should for his part receive the best entertainment that he possibly could expect Francion studdied a while what he had to do and at the last concluded on this invention The Waggoner of the place some few days afterwards was to carry Hay to the Merchants house he resolved to hide himself in the Waggon and in the mean time he in a Letter acquainted Iocunda with the design he had The Waggoner was of a simple and dull disposition and Francion made him believe what he pleased My honest Friend said he unto him you know that I am very curious I have heard often a report of the beauty of the house in which your Master dwelleth in the City I have a great desire to see it but I know not which way in the world to give my self that contentment but only by your means you must carry me thither in your Waggon I will said the Waggoner with all my heart for Francion was one of his best friends because he often would make him drink at his Masters house and in other places Doe you come to me said he when I am to goe you are known so well that I believe they will not shut the Gates against you I am known too well said Francion and that is the reason why I will not goe in that manner as you doe speak I would so go that not any one might see me for I have a great desire to observe the platform of the house and to take from thence a modell which in some other way may be beneficial to me but your Master must know nothing at all of it I am advised to hide my self in the Hay which you are to carry thither it will be a happy means to accomplish my intention I like well of it said the Waggoner and it shall not be my fault if you put it not in practice For the rest when we are to come back I will pluck the leaves from the Vines that you may the better passe undiscovered It will be well done said Francion provided that you doe keep your promise The Waggoner assured him of his fidelity and the hour being come to carry his Hay he advertised him that he was ready to drive away Francion having delivered his Flock to some other to keep and being accommodated with the best habiliments which the place could afford him did goe to meet the Waggoner and found him according to his wish in a Lane where he had the leisure to hide himself in the Waggon that no man might perceive him In the Evening he arrived at the house of Iocunda The Waggoner taking out all the Hay himself did cause Francion to hide himself in a private place where he did lock him up which was unadvisedly done both by the one and the other For if they had been perceived it would have been reported that they had a design to have robbed the house and it might so have fallen out that they might have suffered for it by the hand of Justice But Francion was resolved to make tryal how far his good Fortue would extend In the mean time Iocunda was in the greatest inquietudes in the world not knowing whether he was come or not She could not find any means to be satisfied in the truth thereof for it was not discretion she thought to enquire of the Waggoner for him fearing thereby to give him any cause of suspition and she her self was in doubt if her Lover had hid himself in the Hay or not without his knowlege At the
draw your teeth Gentlemen without putting you to any pain at all and to put others in their places with which you may eat as well as with teeth naturally your own And with what dost thou pluck them out With the point of a Sword No Gentlemen That way is too old It it with this which I hold in my hand And what is it which thou holdest in thy hand Signior of Italy My horses bridle Gentlemen This Tooth-drawer had no sooner begun this goodly Oration but a Porter a Lacky a Woman that cryed Cherries three that cryed Mackarel two Apprentices a Ragg-man and a seller of Almanacks did all stand still to hear him For my self pretending as though I looked upon some of those old Books which the Booksellers do there commonly lay forth upon their Stalls I did listen to him as well as the rest Having so many venerable Auditors he re-inforced his eloquence and did continue in these words Who is he that draws out the teeth of Kings and Princes Is it the Carmelite Or the English man in the yellow Ruff Is it Master Arnault who to make the world believe that he is a Tooth drawer for Potentates hath painted about his own Picture the Pope and all the Consistory of Cardinals every one of them with a black plaister above his temple representing thereby that none of them are exempted from the Tooth ache No No It is not he Who is it then that draweth out the teeth of those great Princes It is the Italian Gentleman whom you see It is my self Gentlemen It is I. I it is who am the Man He did speak that shewing himself in a full body to them all and laying his hand upon his Brest Many other fopperies he represented and asked all the questions of himself and undertook to deliver himself in pure Italian when he was by his birth no other than a Norman To hear him speak it you could but believe him as well as hear him there is not any one who would have a tooth any longer in his head He presented a Beggar to them from whom he had taken six teeth he had put them in but a little before and holding something in his mouth which was moist and of a red complexion he seemed alwayes to be spitting of bloud Gentlemen said the Mountebank I cure the Souldiers for courtesie the Poor for the honour of God and the rich Merchants for money You may see what it is to have a tooth vitiated rotten or corrupted You will go to a Senator to recommend your Sute unto him you begin to open your Cause he turns aside from you and cryes out Oh the putrefaction Withdraw my Friend your breath is very noysome he will not endure to come near to hear you and so your Cause is lost But you will say unto me Have you any Remedy for it Yes Gentlemen I have and for many other Inconveniences I have a Pommada to make fair the skin It is white as Snow and odoriferous as Balm or Musk. See here my Boxes This great one will cost you eight Souses the little one with the writing five I have an excellent Oyntment for all wounds If any one be hurt I can cure him I am neither Physician Doctor nor Philosopher but my Oyntment is as soveraign and can do as much as all the Philosophers Doctors and Physicians in the world Experience is better than bare knowledge and the Practick than the Theory Whiles the Mountebank did thus extoll his own Art many honest people gathered about him and amongst others Hortensius whom I well observed I immediatly entertained an Invention to make him the Ladder on which my mirth should climb I stayed there not long after for the Tooth-drawer was constrained to retire There came another Mountebank on horseback who laughed him to scorn and did strike at him with the flat of his Sword Since they were both so cunning and so prompt in the drawing of Teeth I knew not why in a revengefull emulation they might not draw one another off their Horses I hoped they would have done it but our Italian fled and would appear no more giving place unto the other One Morning I repaired to him with Escluses and said unto him Sir there is a Kinsman of ours who is much troubled with the pain of his Teeth we have advised him to have them drawn but he is so extremely fearfull that we cannot prevail upon him to resolve upon it He saith that you will put him to torment although that very lately he hath seen you to take our many Teeth without any pain at all a little beneath the Bridge Alas Sir said the Mountebanck I will not put him to any pain If you please that I shall presently take out one of your Teeth you shall perceive how swift and easie is my hand No said I I will believe you rather But our Kinsman is afraid that having no teeth he cannot chew his meat for the time to come nor pronounce his words so pleasingly as now he doth If you provide for that inconvenience by artificial teeth you will do him a greater pleasure than he is yet sensible of in delivering him from so great a torment I know the man very well and he would with all his heart that it were done therefore we do desire you to go to him and whether he will or no to take out those teeth that are so painfull to him You are so excellent at it that when he but opens his mouth to speak unto you you may draw them out and he never so much as think of what you are doing That being done he will pay you very thankfully if not we will see you satisfied our selves The Mountebanck believing our words we acquainted him with the house in which Hortensius lodged and the Mountebanck foreseeing the difficulties that might ensue did take with him two Voluntiers to accompany him and if need were to aid him in his enterprise Hortensius who would take any pains for a livelyhood had with him four Scholars who were Pensioners and were then going to the College of Bon Court He caused them to repeat their Lesson when these people entred in Sir said the Mountebanck your Kinsmen have told me that you have teeth which do put you to great torment Is it your pleasure that I should draw them Who I said Hortensius I have better teeth Sirrah than thy self thou mistakest me for another No said the Mountebanck It was told me that you would conceal the pain you endure that I might not draw them out but I am commanded to ease you for ever of that torment I must perform it Boys hold him fast and open his mouth as wide as you can I will put you Sir to such little pain that you shall not feel it at all The two Voluntiers whom he brought along with him did begin to take him by the arms according to their instructions but he did beat them back and did strike
jealousie and far from that Liberty which you Frenchmen do professe But because the Sollicitor whose Name is Salviati is of a sociable disposition I promise you I will take the opportunity to be more familiar with him Having spoke this Bergamin did withdraw himself to go to Dinner to a Signior who had that morning invited him The next morning he came to me again and told me That he had another conference with Salviati and that he had spoken to him of me and assured him that although I was a Stranger yet my Condition and Deserts did render me most esteemed amongst the Great Ones insomuch that I was very capable to assist those who were in Distresse and that having heard of the Disaster which had befallen the House of Lucinda I had pity of her and wished that it might lie in my power to do her any service He therefore advised him to addresse himself to me and to give me a particular account of the whole businesse for he said I was throughly experienced in the affairs of Law But as for the manner of the Death of Fabius the Husband of Lucinda he said It were better if I would be pleased to take the pains to speak with her my self I promised him said Bergamin to acquaint you with it and behold how all things do succeed according to your Desire Hereupon I did embrace Bergamin being transported with a great joy that I had found the means to be acquainted with Lucinda Bergamin said unto me But stay a little we must be wise and use precautions in this businesse I can speak to Salviati of Lucinda because she is antient and therefore not to be suspected but I know not how to make mention to him of her Daughter With much difficulty I have learned that her Name is Emilia I replyed to him Let me alone with it I will deport my self according to the Italian humor and because you have given such a good report to Salviati of me I will be carefull that you shall not therein be found a Lyar. Bergamin having continued with me a little while after this Discourse did repair into the City and assured me that he would bring Salviati along with him I was unwilling that he should come unto my own Lodging because of the great numbers of French Gentlemen who constantly came to visit me I was at that time brave Raymond lodged in the same House with you and I will not dissemble with you it was from you from whom most precisely I would conceal my self I thought if you had understood of my dealings and practices with the Italians you would have suspected something and hindred my Design Oh no said Raymond To believe that were to doubt of my affection You knew replyed Francion It was at the same time when I was courting of Nays and that was one of the Reasons why I did conceal it from you What said Raymond Do you take me to be an Enemy unto Nature Since you are not yet possessed of Nays Why shall it not be permitted to you to court another Nay Suppose that you had been married to her you would not be the first to whom Love hath given passions to inthrall your self to another Beauty Let us live together as we have been accustomed there is nothing that should disswade you from declaring your Secrets unto me So said Francion We should be guilty of one anothers Debauchments Give me leave to tell you There are some things which even Shame doth forbid us to declare unto our Friends and they ought not to be offended if they do not reveal them for if they be but Indifferences proceeding from Female causes it will no wayes diminish Friendship to conceal them But to perfect my adventure I must acquaint you That I desired Bergamin to bring Salviati with him to a Church where I would be walking Bergamin did applaud the counsel for that said he would be as if by accident we did meet with you and I will not acquaint him that you are waiting there in the expectation of him In this manner it was carried and although I perceived that Salviati did put on a grave and a reserved Countenance I with many Complements did invite them both to Dine with me Salviati seemed to be very unwilling and ceremonious but Bergamin overcame his resistances and we did go together into an Ordinary where we might be accommodated at what rate we pleased There we did enter into a perfect acquaintance and Bergamin taking an occasion to speak of Lucinda did openly professe that I might be very helpfull to her Sir you shall then perform a great work of Charity said Salviati she is a Widdow without Friends and without protection She knows not any one in Rome except my self who have a long time dwelled in Venice but all that I can do is but to follow the Law for her having no countenance at all from the great Officers of Iustice I could wish that she might be so happy as to find one that may assist her not only for the good will I do bear unto her but also for my own consideration for the compassion which I have had on her Misfortunes hath ingaged me in certain round Sums of moneys unto divers Merchants which I know not how to return if her Sute in Law doth not find a happy event I replyed to him That I was acquainted with some Cardinals of the greatest power with whom I had been familiar at Paris before they arrived to that height of Dignity and having saluted them since my comming to Rome they so nobly intertained me that I believe they will not deny any civil courtesie which I shall demand of them He made answer That in truth it is daily observed that those great Personages do render themselves more easie and favourable to Strangers than to those of their own Nation for they undervalue those whom they see every day and in obliging those who are Foreiners they do hope it will render their courtesy and their renown more glorious Those words were not acceptable unto me for they tended not to cause me to understand that if I were high in the favour of the Great Ones it was for some eminent Deserts with which they saw me to be indued I looked on him as a blunt Fellow who knew not what did belong to the Civilities of a Courtier and because they should not entertain a base opinion of me I gave them to understand That it was not my Custom to Dine in such places as where I then was but only at that time I did inforce my self unto it that more freely I might enjoy their Company Speaking those words they both stooped and made many Reverences unto me and having both expressed their thankfull obligations Salviati said unto me That if I would take the pains to give a visit to Lucinda that afternoon she would take it for a great honor and receiving the particulars of her Cause from her own mouth I
make apparent for she is a Woman of an admirable discretion although she cannot but with great impatience indure an affront Emilia said but little but she wept abundantly as well for her own fault as for yours being ashamed that she had so much obliged an ungratefull person to her but her Mother did speak for her and related to Nays the good Entertainment which oftentimes she had given you in hope to have you her Son-in-Law in which she forgat the Custom of her Country where Men are not so freely entertained by Ladies as in your own Nays seemed to be satisfied at the testimonies which she had seen and without the least sign of passion assured Lucinda that she for her own part would no ways hinder your return to Emilia and being convinced of your inconstancy she was resolved no more to esteem of you and not so much as once again to see you With this assurance Lucinda and Emilia departed and Nays bringing them to her door did thank them for the favor they had done her in delivering her from the danger in which she was ready to have involved her self by marrying a Man so perfidious as your self I believe she did take but little rest that night for the day no sooner appeared but the unquietnesse of her Spirit was so great that she sent for me to come unto her to acquaint me with these ungratefull tydings I could not go so soon as I desired because I was imployed in affairs of great importance but comming to her at the last she related this unto me in a marvellous choler and transportation of Spirit and commanded me to desire you to come no more unto her for she believed she should be guilty of a great crime if she should permit you to come within her Doors When she makes any mention of you it is with these Epithets of Perfidious and Ingratefull and with the appellations of Traytor and Monster and she hath resolved with her self to make void whatsoever she hath contracted with you For my part I know not what to say unto her she is very angry with me and tels me that I am the cause of her Misfortune having spoken better of you than you deserved I must confesse to my own shame that she hath just reason to complain Emilia hath left with her one of her Letters which she hath shewed unto me and never take me to be the Man as I am but to be without Eyes and Judgement if I do not believe that you did write that Letter Francion having listned to him very attentively said That he would never deny but that he had wrote Letters to Emilia and that he had often seen her But my brave Dorini said he Doe not you understand me better Doe you think that I cease to be what I have been or that you are changed from what you were Do you not know that we have alwayes lived in that liberty which untill this hour you never did complain of I know not for what cause you do speak unto me with so much animosity Dorini did reply unto him When I saw you first of all in France at Raymonds Castle I was not moved at your irregular and unconstant affections for you were then in the height of your Youth but now you are to put on a more austere and reserved garb I do professe unto you said Francion That now I am obliged so to do since yesterday I was contracted unto Nays and if hereafter I shall commit any wanton Act contrary to that obligation I shall adjudge my self to be extremely guilty but at that time when I courted Emilia I was not contracted unto Nays But why replyed Dorini Did you Court her with so much Passion having professed so much Service to my Kinswoman You had otherwise been excusable and we do believe that Emilia in some Letters of yours can show your promise of Marriage under your own hand Did she shew any such Letter unto Nays said Francion No replyed Dorini but she believes she hath reserved that Letter with an intent to shew it to the Iudge before whom you will be brought which will make much against you I protest unto you said Francion she hath no such Letter But for all that replyed Dorini We doe imagine that you had your pleasure with her You know said Francion that I alwayes have been addicted to the pleasures of Love You may therefore believe I should not have been sorry to have enjoyed her neither would I conceal it if I had done it for sometimes it is one part of the contentments of a Conqueror to sing the glories of his Triumph And if it were so I do believe she could have no great Action against me for the Iudges observing her lightness to be so soon surprized by a Stranger would be prone to take my part and to apptebend that she had been before of a loose Conversation And Nays ought in reason to reject me for that for we see no Man so sensless as to refuse his good Fortune but all this is but nothing I am confident that I have not failed in any thing and do not deserve that rough usage I have received I will conceal nothing from you but give you a full account of all that hath passed betwixt Emilia and my self Hereupon Francion repeated the History almost in the very same words as he told it before to Raymond and Dorini professed to him that if there were nothing else he in truth was not so faulty but he should find a very hard task to perswade his Cosin to beleive it who was a Woman entire in her resolutions and would absolutely make all void that she had contracted Neverthelesse he promised Francion that for his own part he would act nothing against him Raymond who had a great power over did intreat him not to fail in this promise to his Friend and he would demand no other recompence for the great affection which he had alwayes born unto him He assured him that he would be favourable to him and so took his leave of them both being amazed at so sudden and so great a change This did render Francion very melancholly for he knew he could no where meet with a better Fortune than Nays it did torment him to lose her and it did more torment him that he must lose her with dishonor but Raymond did the best he could to draw him out of his amazement and affliction He told him that he must put on a generous resolution and if he married not Nays he might find every where Women enough They he said were a Common Merchandise and it would not be for his advantage to abandon his Fortunes in France to dwell in Italy Raymond spoke this on his own behalf for it grieved him to lose his Company and to be inforced to return to France without him so that whatsoever he had spoke to the contrary he had rather his Marriage should be broken off than accomplished
of Emilia it was not without his advice to make a tryal what he would doe and if he would change Nays for Emilia Dorini being assured of this did beseech Lucio to take the pains to goe unto his Cosin who also was allyed to her himself that by resolving her in these uncertainties he might take away the discontents which she entertained against Francion He was willing to accompany him for what would not any man doe for such a Lady After that Lucinda Emilia and Ergastus were departed and every one of them well satisfied Lucio considered with himself what he had yet to do with those persons which were brought before him As for the complaint of the Serjeant against Raymond he found it was but frivolous For that of Salviati against Francion it was already answered and both the Sollicitor Salviati and Bergamin were departed in a confused shame As for Corsegua he was sent back to Prison and all the Officers of Iustice being dismissed there remained none but the French Gentlemen who all thanked Lucio for the great Act of Iustice which he performed and above all of them Francion who was he that was most interested in it Dorini then acquainted him with the happy conjunction betwixt Ergastus and Emilia of which he was wonderfully glad and that his joy had a greater cause to inlarge it self when he understood that Lucio and Dorint were both of them taking the pains to satisfie Nays and to stop the proceedings of the processe which she had commenced against him Lucio then smiling said unto them that for ordinary persons he caused them to come to his own House to hear and to determine their Causes and Complaints but as for his kinswoman Nays she deserved that he himself should wait upon her Francion did protest unto him that he did owe him all obligations and speaking those words Lucio departed to the House of Nays with Dorini It was ordered that Francion should have his Coffers and his moveables carried back to his own lodgings to which he returned with Raymond Audebert and Hortensius who always were present to assist him But on the way they beheld a spectacle which did more amaze them than can possibly be represented They heard behind them so great a hooping and hallowing of Men and Boys and an outcry of Women that they were inforced to look back and presently they discovered a young Man who had nothing but his shirt on his Back and not so much as shoes on his feet who was followed by a number of the Kennel-rakers who made a perpetual shout He did run with all the speed he could make They immediatly perceived that it was Du Buisson It did much afflict them to see him in such an equipage for they conceived that he had either received some affront or that he had lost his understanding and this last conception seemed to be the more probable because sometimes he would make a flourish with a Cudgel which he had snatched from a Lackey and sometimes he would lay about him as if he had a quarter staff in his hands and ceased not to sing a thousand catches and idle songs As he ran by us he seemed not to take notice of us only he gave Hortensius a sound box on the ear Then the shouts began to be doubled and he did run away as fast as before Some said he was drunk Others that he was a Madman Some were of opinion that he was distracted with a Calenture and that the Air of Rome was obnoxious to the greatest part of the French Nation others affirmed that it was some desperate and wilfull humour in him and that the best course was to stop him and to bind him Hand and Feet But our French Gentlemen would not permit that any violence should be offered to him and followed him unto the House where Raymond lodged into which he did fling himself They were there almost as soon as himself when he sew them he counselled them to shift for themselves from that vile Rabble and to give him leave for some few Hours to take his Rest They then perceived that he had not lost his Senses and bringing him into a Chamber where a good Bed was they advised him to lie down some of them opening the Bed-cloaths he nimbly slipt in betwixt the Sheets Having taken a little respite he did speak in this manner to his Friends Of Necessity in this place I must declare unto you my Follies I have been oftentimes to see the Courtesans of this City with whom I took pleasure to commerce as I have been accustomed to do with those of France There is one of thē who seemed to have a desire to make a trial of my abilities her Name is Fiametta I promised not to come unto her untill this Night but I could not forbear to go unto her yesterday in the Evening for although my head was much troubled with the accident which did befall Francion yet I would not be wanting to my self to give my self all the pleasures that I could privately I therefore conveyed my self into her House and did speak unto her Servant who caused me to enter into a Wardrobe where she told me I must attend until a Kinsman of her Mistresses was departed being unwilling that he should be a witness of her Loves At the last the Maid returned and told me that he was gone and that I had nothing to do but to undresse my self and to go to bed to Fiametta I was unwilling to obey her alleging that I desired to salute her first but she in a frolick humor did begin to pull off my cloaths her self and told me it would commend the sport if I should go and surprise her Mistresse When I was naked to my shirt she opened the Door of the Wardrobe and caused me to passe along without a Candle which willingly I did thinking it was the ready way to goe into her Chamber I was no sooner gone out but immediatly she made fast the Door upon me I then suspected that she had deceived me Attempting to go forward I thought I should have broke my Neck for I thought the way was plain and even but I fell down a pair of Stairs and bruised both my Leggs and my recourse was unto the Door again of the Wardrobe where I cried and knocked with both my fists but the Maid servant told me If I would not be civil and hold my peace she would send one to me who would make me quiet I hoped to prevail upon her by Promises and Intreaties but I found that to be unprofitable She continued her threats so much that I was constrained to be silent Although that in the time of Day it is warm enough at Rome yet the Nights I promise you are very cold very unfriendly I am sure the last Night was so to me Upon my life I never knew a colder I sate upon one of the Stairs stooping with the fore-part of my Body and drawing up my
Elementary fire shall never quench thy thirst although thy Physician with a nose as red as a Lobster doth perscribe thee to flea an Eel by the tail and to rost it against the Wind with the end of a great Log that shall go directly into Germany to protest unto the Protestants that Chitterlings do fly like a Tortoise and that on the year passed we shall see the Water of Seine sold more cheap than the blood of a Bullock Having ended this goodly Speech he did begin to laugh as loud as possibly he could and you may believe that those who heard him did not forget to doe the like but Clerantes Chamberlain did laugh more loud than any which the Advocate perceived and having given him two or three sound blowes with his fist he said unto him Canst thou not hold thy Peace thou ignorant Dost thou think I came hither to make thee laugh Hold your peace all of you said Clerantes I observe he hath some businesse of importance to declare unto me I will relate unto you a little Fable said he which steals into my Fancy from the backward shop of my Brain The Cacochymick Aesop hath nothing of it The Eagle more mindfull of Prey than Honour did one day mootch from the Thunder which lame Vulcan had made as crooked as himself for Almighty Iupiter A very fool the Eagle was to commit so great an oversight for every one did honour him before as the bearer of those Arms with which that great God doth punish all offences but be took more pleasure to be at freedom and plunder the Inhabitants of the Air. Iupiter being angry took two Pigeons and did prefer them to the same Office in which the Eagle was This is enough Gentlemen to inform you that the Court shall know if it pleaseth that my cause is right enough it being grounded upon an Hypothesis It was Saturn himself who played his part on my side when he was a Sergeant There came a great Thunderbolt which troubled all things The Sun fell into the Sea with fifty Stars who were his Pages They drank so deep that in the twinkling of an eye you might see them lye all dry upon the Sands which is the place from whence ever since we have received their light After that I threw my hat amongst the Stones and I know not what is become of it or any thing else In the pursuce of this humour he did speak a thousand times without reason by which it was perceived that he had a troubled brain Clerantes conceiving that I was he who brought him to his Chamber did imagine I had done it to give content unto him having called me he understood that I knew nothing of the distraction of the Man But to put the Advocate in a good humout I caused all those idle fellowes to depart the room who did too much incense him with their petulancies I did speak friendly and pleasantly unto him and giving him respect I did seem to a dmire his words which did invite him to return as pleasing words to me and I did put on so discreet a Restraint that I did not seem to laugh at all On the same day there came certain men to demand him his Servants brought them to Clerantes to whom they declared that he was their Kinsman and had a troubled Spirit for the grief he received in the losse of all his estate being overthrown by his Adversary in a Sute of Law and that in charity they would provide for him in their own houses although he had done them great mischief in the violent fits of his distempers I will ease you of that trouble said Clerantes he is come to offer himself to me I have a desire to retain him and give him good use His Kinsmen being glad to be discharged of him did leave him with Clerantes who immediatly did give him thâ— name of Collinet and commanded that he should be apparalled like a Gentleman There passed away some Weeks before he fell into his excesse of madnesse and during that time he would deliver himself very acutely and sometimes very eloquently although to speak the truth he was always extravagant in his Discourse The prohibition which was given to all the Servants not to incense him by their provoking words was the cause that he did not leap into his rages nor become to mischievous as he and others of his distemper are accustomed to be One could not but receive coutentment in his Company and there was not any man of quality who came unto the house but would be glad sometimes to listen to him and to see him perform some pleasant actions I was his only Governour he called me good Master and Clerantes good Lord. When I would touch any one to the quick I would by one artifice or other discover his vices to him of which he would afterwards upon any occasion give so lively a Character that many who heard him discourse so to the purpose would believe that he was not out of his wits but counterfeited In his youth he had so clear a Spirit that the marks thereof did still remain Sometimes he would give admirable answers without any instructions of mine Having heard us to speak of a Signior who was baffled in his reputation and yet was accounted by some to be an affable and a courteous man he mantained that he was the most discourteous man in the World the reason being demanded he said that the day before he observed him to be so incivil that he would not go out of the way to give his Brother the upper hand who to his knowledge was more aged and more deserving than himself It being told him that he mistook for that Signior had no Brother at all He made answer I do know he hath many Brothers and he that passed by him was one of them he was one of the gallantest Asses that ever I saw Another time as we were making a motion to play at dice he said he would not play against the Signior because he always carryed an Ace under his Doublet Having met him one day in the Louvre he approached to him and gave him hay out of his Pocket The Signior turning to him and asking him what he did mean by it Make much of that which I give you said Collinet it will prove good food for thee in time of necessity The Signior was so full of Honour that he would not be angry but did turn it into laughter But not long afterwards intending to be revenged of him he called him to him and did command him to hold his Fauchion for him a little while Collinet having drawn it The Signior took it out of his hand and did put his foot upon the blade as if he would have broken it Whereupon Collinet cryed out Behold Gentlemen the great miracle which is done to my Sword I brought it hither without any Hilts or defend five guard at all and now see they have put the greatest
Asse unto it in the world Diverse Gentlemen at that cry did run thither which was the cause that the Gentleman who took the Sword from him did leave it with him and departed in a great confusion being resolved to assault him no more because his replyes were so sharp and poynant As we were speaking one day of a Woman who every day did inlarge her Husbands horns he made a thousand conceits upon it He said that she ought to be afraid lest he should gore her with the Arms of his Head when he was offended at her And as for himself he might have businesse enough to find Hats that would fit his Head and that he ought to make his doors higher to enter therein with ease and without stooping And but observe his subtilty he said that Astaeon had Horns not because he saw Diana naked but they came to that Cuckold because he had not the curiosity oftentimes to behold his own Wife naked He understood that a light Huswife had a Child for which no Father could be found You are to consider said he that she hath been in the Army and her Champions having all drawn in her defence she knows not in the scuffle who it was that gave her the blow He compared her also to one who had pricked his hand by touching thorns and could not tell in the whole bush which was the thorn did hurt him Having heard of another Girl who was great with Child and no Man could tell who was the Father of it You may be sure said he that she is Helena and she is great with child by Paris Hearing us to speak of nocturnal pollutions He said we were punished by the night for lying on our backs Clerantes running at the ring at the Royal Palace some who were present did say he did run with so much speed that he did leave the wind behind him That may be true enough if I may give the explication of it said Collinet Without all doubt my Masters Horse did break wind when he was running in the List Sometimes he would undertake to make verses as you know that Poetry and madnesse are near of kin He recited his Verses to a Gentleman who came often to Clerantes house and understanding that he was to marry he offered to make the Epithalamy The Gentleman meeting him not long afterwards said unto him Oh Master Collinet How doth your Muse you told me you would pipe something at my Wedding Pipe said he Upon my Faith you and I can both of us make one good instrument You shall provide the Horn and I the Pipe and of that you may make a Hornpipe The Gentleman who had hardly been married three days was very angry to hear himself so soon called Cuckold and was much abashed at it Not long before I made mention to you of Melibeus who loved gentle Diana He came often to Clerantes and although he would fain be in favour with me I could not endure him when I remembred how he traversd me in my first Loves which came often into my mind with an infinite number of other pleasing thoughts for you know the first impressions will never be forgotten I often spake to Collinet of him so that he did abuse him more than any other whereat Clerantes took great pleasure for Melibeus was accounted but a Buffon at the Court and he must speak to our Madman whether he would or no or otherwise he would have played upon him Their discourses were filled with Injuries and extravagant reproaches according to their several subjects It will be too difficult to give you an account of them in particular I shall only relate unto you the most lively and pleasing passage which happened between these two who were one of them almost as wise as the other Melibeus sitting one day at Clerantes Table they caused Collinet to sit by him that they might dispute together Collinet spake whatsoever he could to Melibeus to which Melibeus did answer very coldly being then in a more melancholy humour than ordinary Dinner being ended Collinet observing that he would give him no answer did quit the Company and retired himself into his own Chamber where all the day afterwards he was constrained to do Penance because he was not permitted to come down into the Hall as long as his Master was there present having not 2 days before come down into the Kitchin and beaten there a little Page whom his Master loved very dearly Melibeus being advised of it would call him to an account for some affronts which he had given him and thought now was the time to put his Revenge into execution he therefore coming up the stairs over the Hall where his Chamber was did pinch him on the arms and tweak'd him by the nose and did speak unto him such opprobrious words that he took a good Cudgel in his hand and began to charge him home with it Melibeus who had nothing to defend himself did conceive that his surest Course was to take his Farewell of the Chamber and to run away Therefore to testifie his speed he leaped down the Stairs three by three but Collinet pursued him and at every leap did overtake him with a sound blow either on his head or on his shoulders When he was almost at the Bottom of the stairs he made a little pause and with his hat in his hand making a most humble Reverence he said unto him Sir I do beseech you to excuse me that I doe not wayt upon you to the Foot of the Stairs because I am forbidden to passe any further otherwise you may assure your self I would expresse my self most diligent in my attendance on you Having spoke those words he returned into his Chamber and Melibeus did make as much hast down as before without the least regard unto the Complement of Collinet It grieved me not at all to see Melibeus so intreated and because he appeared to be in a good humor Collinet his Enemy being gone I desired him to repeat by heart those Complements which heretofore he had used to Diana He had not forgot one of them and because he would act them with the greater grace he caused Clerantes Page to sit down to personate the part of Diana and did court him in the very same Complements And if at any time he failed or extravagantly did proceed following the Caprichiousnesse of his own Fancy I did demonstrate to him how he ought to speak it and did act his part for him Melibeus did swell with despite to see how I did play upon him for his old Love but he durst not return a word because he observed it was agreeable to Clerantes At the last being able no more to endure our Scoffs he by little and little did withdraw himself from our Company and came no more unto us Behold how Collinet here had assisted me to take vengeance of a Man who to speak the truth had offended me in the most sensible part of my