to bones which sought one another Those which had beene Generals Captaines Lieutenants and Souldiers came first out of their Sepulchres provoked with courage as if the Trumpe had beene a signall to warre Covetous men issued amazed beleeving that it was for pillage And they that had given themselves over to wantonnesse conceived it a summons to some Masque or Enterlude These things I knew by their severall gestures but saw not one amongst them all that thought it was to Judgement Some Soules drew neare with horrour and disdaine of their owne Bodies and others would not approach at all seeing them so deformed Some wanted an arme others a thigh and others their heads yet did they not long seeke them giving mee therein a subject whereby to admire the Power of God in that being mixt together none tooke the legges or armes of their Neighbours When all the congregated understood that it was the great Day of Iudgement it was a notable thing to see how that the Luxurious would not finde their eyes to the end that they might not beare witnesse against them Detractours would not acknowledge their tongues for the same cause and Theeves made use of their feet to flie from their hands Here I heard a Miser aske another who because hee was embalmed staid for his entrals which were coffin'd farre off from that place if all that were buried should rise againe and if the bagges that hee had interr'd should rise with him And there I saw a troop of Cutpurses whofled from their eares which were offerd them fearing they should heare what they desired not These things I might well behold being mounted on a banke of earth but hearing a cry at my feet which bad mee descend I obeyed and many handsome women put forth their heads calling me ill bred and unmannerd for not giving more respect unto them for in Hell also they have this folly to beleeve that men ought to respect them They appeared very jocond to see themselves of such exquisite frame and were not ashamed of their nakednesse But when they knew it was the Day of Wrath and their beauty beganne to accuse them within they put themselves in the way of the valley with a slow and lingring pace One that had beene thrice wedded went inventing excuses for all her Husbands to whom severally she had deeply sworne never to remarry and another said that shee had forgot her night-cloathes thinking that they would stay for her at some place of meeting In this place Physitians were thrust forward by Patients whom they had dispatched by anticipation of time And in that a Judge stood washing his hands from the innocent blood that by bribery lay upon him Divers Divels driving before them Vintners and Tailours a Lawyer peeping out of his Tombe asked whither they went and being told to the righteous Iudgement of God to which they were all called he strove to sinke himselfe deeper into his Grave saying there is so much way already made if I must descend lower A Taverner sweating extreamly a Devill told him that he did well to sweat out his water for hee would burne the better and this was one of those that kept a Taverne outwardly but a Stewes within A bow-legged Tailour went insulting I have neither wine nor water to answer for for I ever eate more than I drinke but why doe they say I steale which another hearing told him that hee did a great deale of wrong so to despise the Trade In their walke they met with highway robbers whom the Divels caught and put amongst them saying that they might well beare them company because they were a la mode wild Tailours And after these went Folly compassed on all sides with Poets Musicians and Lovers and with all kindes of people besides that were ignorant of that Day who in troopes came to the Vale where silence was imposed on all The Throne was decked by the hand of the Almighty and by the same Miracle God was adorned with himselfe with mercy for the Elect and wrath for the Reprobate The Sunne Moon and Starres were his Footstoole the winde was husht the waters calme the Earth still and timorous ready to bee entranc'd for the love shee bore her Children and all things in generall very pensive and heavy The Just were busied in giving thankes to God and praising his Goodnesse and the Sinfull were inventing stratagems to moderate their chastisements Angels witnessed both by their gate and phisnomy the care they had to comfort and welcome the Godly And Divels were ready to unfold their accusations and least that any should overslip them they had set the tenne Commandements to keepe the Doore which was of that straightnesse that the leanest and most mortified bodies were faine to leave some part of their flesh behinde them the entrance was so narrow The Examination beganne at Adam who was required to give account for an Apple which Iudas minding and the astonishment hee was in cried out Woe is me what account shall I make that have sold the Lord of Life and the Lambe of God Then passed the first Fathers and after the New Testament the Apostles who were all seated neare the Chaire of Majesty And it was a thing worthy of note to see that there was no respect of persons but that Beggars and Kings were mixt together when they went nigh the Divine Presence Herod and Pilate appeared and perceiving the wrath of God though encompassed with Glory Pilate said Hee that will comply with the times deserves no lesse and Herod I cannot goe into Paradise for there those Innocents I slew will cry out against me but why doe I chaffer Hel is a common Inne A man of a fiery looke started up and stretching out his arme said See there my attestation of mastership Every one wondering asked the Porter who hee was but hee overhearing answered I am an approved Master of Defence and these papers are Certificates of my tried valour Letting them fall a Devill stooped to gather them up but the Fencer was more nimble than he who leaped backward and drawing his rapier said This Steele cannot beâ— equalled and if you either budge or speake I will quickly shew that I am my Arts master All the Company beganne to smile and hee was commanded seeing that hee had but instructed an art which was one of the principall causes of so many Duels and slaughters that hee should goe into Hell by a perpendicular line but hee answering that hee was no Mathematician a Divell gave him a by-blow and cast him into the pit Then came Treasurers and Stewards who demanding an Advocate a Divell answered behold Iudas a discarded and outcast Apostle let him speake for hee hath exercised both professions which they hearing went to the other side and saw another Devill that had not hands enow to turne over the leaves were written against them Leave all these informations said the stoutest of them and let us compound Ha ha said hee that
to be teeth and the bearers Tooth-drawers mouth-devasters and drawers on of old age not shaming to wish all mens teeth upon their thread rather than in the place of their birth After these came men of divers habits not unfitly entred because all great talkers Some were called Swimmers by reason that in speaking they spread their armes to and fro as if they were swimming Others imitatours in that they counterfeited the lookes and gestures of those they spoke of And others sowers of dissention because they moved their eyes this way and that way not stirring the head to marke by stealth the actions of those they meant to betray And last of all Dissemblers a presumptuous Generation the worlds true plague who thrust into all assemblies and either by craft flattery or base submission having got the secrets of men convert them to the Relaters prejudice and their owne mercenary profit These were called the extract of all the importunate and because the poyson of Serpents lies in the taile came in the reere as most poysonous Upon this I beganne to consider to what use this great troope and confusion might tend when behold a certaine Apparition drew neare that seemed to bee of the Feminine kinde of light gate and loose proportion Shee was laden with crownes garlands scepters sikles sheephookes buskins wooden shooes tires miters bonnets embroidery silke skinnes wooll gold lead diamonds shels pearle and flint One of her eyes was shut and the other open She was cloathed in all colours on one side appearing young and on the other old Now going apace and anon slowly at one time seeming afarre off and by and by at hand And at all times so inconstant that I could not have leasure to fancy who shee might bee Yet was I not frighted but rather incited to laughter remembring an Italian Comedy I had lately seene in which Halequin faining to come from the other World had a baggage not much dissonant and therefore after I had stood a great while musing I stept to her and demanded who shee was I am Death said shee Death replied I my heart failing mee and whither goe you Mistresse Death I come to fetch thee said she Alas Must I then die No but thou must goe alive with mee and make a journey into the kingdome of the dead for since many departed have rose to see the living it is no injustice that one living should descend to visit them and that the dead bee heard Hast thou not heard that I have power to execute my soveraigne decrees Disrobe and follow mee Ha sighed I in a cold sweat Will you not let me weare my Cloathes There is no need said she apparel will but hinder you besides I ease all men of their luggage that they may walke with more agility There was no contending therefore I went after her but to tell you through what by-wayes shee led mee is impossible for I was transported beyond apprehension As wee were going I doe not said I for all this see by any outward appearance that you are Death because she is painted without flesh consisting of nothing but dry bones Those Image-makers are fooles answered shee and want invention for bones are not Death but the remainder of the Living You Mortals know her not or else shee would appeare in the visages of every one of you and in every severall member lie depicted To die is to finish life and to bee borne is to beginne to die and the truest Image of Death is a mans owne selfe and not a breathlesse trunke or bare anatomy But I pray you Why doe you place Detractours and Tell-tales in the Van next to your owne person because said shee there are more that die by the importunity of great speakers than by diseases and more that are hastened to ruine by the conversation of flatterers and intermedlers than by Physicians practice though in the generall these are my greatest friends and best servants and to this purpose thou must understand that most in the world grow sicke through excesse and superfluity of humours but die by the meanes and diligence of him that administers So that when you are asked of what Disease such an one is dead you must not answer Of a Feaver Plurisie Purple or Pestilence but he is dead by the hand of such a Physitian that hath beene well paid for it is requisite that every Trade should live As we grew thus familiar wee entred into a Vault where the dayes reflexe was betwixt light and obscurity In the entry whereof upon one side I saw three Statues armed and stirring of humane shape yet hard to bee distinguished and on the other an hideous Monster that continually fought with them one against three and three to one Knowest thou said Death what these are Oh no! said I and I trust in God I never shall And yet so it is said shee that since thy Nativity thou hast never kept other Company These are the three capitall Enemies to the Soule the World the Flesh and the Divell looke if they doe not resemble one another so neare that they are scarcely discerned asunder so that if thou entertaine but one of them thou maist bee assured thou hast them all three An aspiring man thinkes he hath all the World and hath got the Divell a lascivious man beleeves hee hath the Flesh but findes it the Divell and so doe the rest But what is shee said I with so many severall faces that fights against them Answer was made The Divell Money who hath bred a controversie upholding that the rest have nothing to doe where she is and that shee alone is all the three First shee grounds her dispute with the World upon those Proverbes men ordinarily use that There is no other World but Money that Hee that hath no Money had better be out of the World that We banish him the World from whom wee take Money and that All things give place to Money Against the second Enemy she saith Money is the Flesh witnesse Whores and Curtezans And against the third she makes use of your speeches also that Nothing can be done without that Divell Money that Love doth much but Money doth all and that That which Money cannot doe the Devill cannot effect Whatsoever the claime is said I The Devill Money needs no coadjutours seeing she defends her Cause so well Wee went forward to a place where on one hand I perceived Hell and on the other Judgement and did heedfully consider Hell because it was a thing very strange What lookest thou on said Death On Hell said I and methinkes by the aspect I have seene it elsewhere Where said she I have seene it in the emulation of great ones in the consciences of them that withhold â—nother mans goods in wicked undertakings in revenges in the desires of the luxurious and in the pride of corporations But as for Justice I am glad to see it in its purity and had rather have Death with Judgement
lustre to the worke Over the chapter there was this inscription in letters of Gold cut upon blacke Marble Blest and most happy is this place In ever youthfull Love Who crownes the noble and the base As their demerits move The diversity of stones and colours delighted admirably the sight the portall was spacious and the doore perpetually open to let those freely enter whom singularity brought and the place of Porter was allotted to a woman who seemed to be of the nymphall race her visage was celestiall lineaments amiable and body perfectly straight shee was cloathed in cloath of Gold and Silver glittering with pearles and stones of price and was an enchantment to all that beheld her leading captive their iron hearts in chaines of Admaâ—â—t and though shee was in all things like her name Beauty yet did she not insult nor deny entrance to any if they paid for their passage a good looke of whose favours I made use of and went into the first Court where I found abundance of all Sexes but so changed from their pristine grace that the very memory of it was forgotten instead whereof they had put on Loves livery dejected eyes yellow resemblance and mournfull representations Their talke reflected not upon the faith that is to bee kept with friends loyalty to masters nor respect to blood but their kindred were mediatours to their owne alliance Servants became mistresses and mistresses servants Women contracted amity with their Husbands acquaintance and Husbands grew intimate with their Wives companions On this medly of affections did I stare when I perceived a creature not perfectly man nor rightly woman but partaking of both who went and came through the multitude having on a loose garment spotted over with eyes and ears which marking and the authority she exercised I demanded her condition and what she did to which two questions shee thus answered mee I am Jealousie the greatest cause of the increase of these sicke and mad persons which thou seest neverthelesse I am not engaged to heale but to chastise them Question not mee of any other particulars for it is a miracle when I speake truth because I lessen from my selfe in the delivery being nothing but sleights and devices but goe to that aged man that walkes there for hee is the overseer of the Palace and may bee will instruct you though slowly in all that you require I did so and found him to bee Time of whom I intreated a sight of the roomes and chambers and that I might visit some fooles of my acquaintance whom I conjectured were there He told me hee was busie in curing the diseased yet notwithstanding shewed mee all things in giving mee liberty to walke about Passing the first Court I entred into the Maidens chamber for the women were separated and these were kept in the strongest hold where the wals were thickest because of their vehement and violent passions here I tooke notice of one that lamented being jealous of a married woman and of another that was carried with burning affection to a yongster yet durst not declare it How one writ letters full of ambiguities where there were more lines dasht out than good words and another studied with her glasse how to smile and simper and act the fictive humours she meant to play her Lover that eate oatmeale plaister jeat and small coale to obtaine a pale colour and this intreated her servant that in the mornings hee would give her a Serenade of Musique at her chamber window which implied that hee should publish to all the neighbours that he was her enamor'd this held love letters which she let fly through windowes and thrust under doores and that protested to her friend her heart was his desiring him not to require any thing more which he promis'd and the foole beleeved Some would marry to love with more liberâ—y and others desired to be with men already married and these were rank'd in the number of incurable Having considered all I durst not stay any longer knowing by experience that a man runnes great hazard among such allurers and that hee that gettes clearest off is often condemned to slavery in the bonds of marriage which is an engagement to repentance all his life long without other hope of redemption than by Death for there is no order to redeeme those that are captives in the chaines of wedlocke as there is for them that are under the hands of the Turke I went therefore to the Married Women and saw many of them whom their Husbands kept tied and cloistered up to hinder the execution of their designes that broke both Prison and chaines and became mâ—dder than before Some fawned on and flattered their Husbands when they had most minde to abuse them and some stole their money to pay their confederates yet never tooke heed to the account till the estate was ended others went to heare Sermons and on pilgrimages of Devotion but it was to get the grace and mercy of their holy brethren by sacrificing to Venus and others went to Baths sooner to pollute than cleanse themselves Such an one recompenc'd her Husbands sinnes in the same kinde verifying the adage that None take greater delight to be revenged than a woman when she avenges her selfe on her Husband with advantage Such another went to see a Play that she might be spoken with betweene the Acts. And this last affected her Coach so well that shee was scarce ever out of it of which desiring a reason 't is because said shee I love to bee shaken Among this honourable conventicle those were not seene whose Husbands were employed in Warre Embassages Merchandise or forraigne Affaires because that they depending upon none other in that time did containe themselves within the bounds of chastity and as people exorcis'd were not reputed members of this Common-wealth The next partition was of Widowes armed with experience and knowledge who counterfeited modesty and piety yet adhered to their desires One with her right eye wept for her dead Husband and with her left laughed to her living Friend another was more muffled and vailed with passion than mourning receiving joyfully the present and forgetting the absent And others laid wagers whose vailes and hukes became them best endeavouring to convert that sad attire into allurement Those that were old imitated the actions of youth and those that were more young made use of the time that they might not repent in their age There were some adored and some adorers who being devout were loves penitents and in that respect condemned to fast from meats they most longed after for the carnall have also their Lent Many outwardly laid on modest colours though inwardly impudent enough and many were very insolent and having heretofore beene Masters would now make use of that imperious power so that the Physitian had much adoe with them All these infirmities proceed onely through idlenesse for where that is lust findes easie accesse There were some Women who accepted more letters of
abroad added hee thou needest not doubt but Hell is well throngd with the amorous There are of divers sorts Some that are Lovers of themselves others of their money others of their speeches others of their workes and some of their wives and of that kinde there are very few because women are of such malignant natures that by their disloyalty imperfections and searching wits they give every day new subject to their Husbands to repent of their conjunction and alliance with them All Lovers are delightfull to see and full of mirth if there may bee said to bee any in Hell Some you would take for a Millaners shop they are so deckt with points knots and ribbens of all sorts which they call favours Others for a periwigge makers stall they are so hung with bracelets amulets and lockes of all haires and all colours You would take some for Messengers to a great City laden with packets and Epistles to and from their Mistresses which they call Love-letters but we Inflamers because they serve to inflame and burne the bearers And others for Jesters the posture of their wooing is so ridiculous who once loved but never obtained These are condemned for short shooting yet wonne the game and those for kisses that never betrayed Under them in a dirty and stifling hole carpeted with beasts hornes were those that you call Cuckolds Creatures that at the first beganne to bustle with us objecting a double injury if they should now againe bee punisht that in the world had already received disgrace sufficient the Horne grafted upon their forehead being first taken from the Devils owne brow who in the shape of a man made the first Cuckold But when wee told them that the Divell never wore Hornes but that they were derived from the Goat and Ramme emblems of mans libidinousnesse and the name of Cuckold from the Cuckoe a bird that having plundered the issue of an innocent maketh her hatch her viperous brood or else from mens owne indulgence and womens impudence they became the most peaceable of all our pensionaries and are armed with incomparable patience for having beene heeretofore strengthened and fortified in the unfaithfull dealings of their wicked wives they are never angry at any thing that is done unto them In which respect and our owne pity wee have advanced them into one of our fairest upper lodgings and in their Dungeon have placed such as are lovers of age and old women who are strongly chained for Divels themselves doe not hold their honour safe amongst people whose taste is so depraved But having satisfied your curiosity I must tell you that wee Divels are much offended in that you mortals so slovenly besmeare and disfigure us Sometimes painting us with clawes and tallons yet are wee neither Eagles nor Griffins Then gluing tailes to our posteriours as if wee needed flie-flappes or the world should mistake us for Hernes And then parching on our chinnes wenny and welky beards to metamorphose us into Turky-cocks and Cocks combs yet there bee Divels amongst us that may well bee taken for Scholars and Philosophers But you had best mend this if you covet a good fire when you come to visit us Wee asked the other day that Painter whom you call Michael Angelo though improperly why he presented us in his judgement with so many beasts hooves deformed bodies wry neckes and crabbed faces His answer was That having never seene any of our Tribe and not crediting there were any he had made that piece after his owne fancy and not out of any ends of malice But ignorance did not excuse his sinne for hee now findes the reality of that hee would not before beleeve We complaine also that in your familiar discourse one with another you give us unnecessary presents Behold sayes one how this Divell Tailor hath abused mee How hee makes mee wait How he hath stolne from me Would hee were in Hell You doe us a great deale of wrong to wish them there or to make such comparisons For wee never suffer them to come nigh us but with a great deale of intreaty because they doe already alleage the name of inheritance in that Custome is a second Law And having taken possession of Theft oftner keeping Stuffes demanded of them than Sabbaths commanded they enter grumbling and muttering when we doe not open the backedoore and thereby acknowledge them legitimate Children The Divell take it and thee sayes another to him and those things that displease him keepe your gifts at home for of this kinde there come more than wee fetch neither doe wee take all that are given for wee make a conscience of some things and would not accept of the forward Letcher when he sayes I would I might be damned to lie with such a Beauty but that hee does enforce us You bestow likewise on the Divell every roguish Page and Foot-boy but hee will have none of them for know that for the most part they are more wicked than Divels themselves Also you give to the Divell an Italian but the Devill thankes you with all his heart yet loves not to bee undermined An Englishman but hee will have none of their new fashions A Spaniard but hee that knowes the tyranny they use in making themselves masters of Townes when once they are permitted entrance detests their cruelty And a Frenchman but the Divels stomacke will not serve him because they are already parboyld and therefore intreats you to send them to the Great Tâ—rkâ— to season and make Eunuchs Here the Spirit became silent when hearing a noise behinde mee made by one who had crept in and was thrusting to get foremost I turned about to see who durst bee so uncivill in a place so sacred And perceived it to bee a certaine Informer that had been the cause of the undoing of one of my deare associates Therefore that I might a little vindicate my Friend I againe questioned the possessour Seeing so many men of divers conditions inhabit your clime Are there none there of those Horse-leeches those plagues to Kingdomes Projectours c You are cunning said hee Know you not that these Vermin are the naturall heires to damnation and have their patrimony assigned in perpetuall darkenesse yet know also that wee are upon the point to discard them for they are growne unthankfull beginne to scuffle with us and would willingly lay a Tribute upon the wayes to Hell but because the charge encreases dayly and wee beleeve that in processe of time the taxe will mount so high that our Agents on Earth will be constrained to forsake their Commerce a thing very prejudiciall to our Common-wealth wee will from henceforth shut our Gates and utterly exclude them In doing so you may be injurious said I for then they will aime at Heaven Never feare that proceeded hee for that is a traffique they never delighted in But I pray you on whom will they raise these new impositions If you labour to know all the circumstances answered hee bid