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be_v please_v to_o give_v i_o be_v follow_v by_o so_o great_a effect_n that_o the_o speech_n which_o be_v use_v therein_o be_v such_o and_o utter_v in_o such_o a_o manner_n that_o i_o can_v not_o possible_o doubt_v but_o that_o it_o be_v he_o how_o soever_o i_o be_v still_o in_o extreme_a pain_n because_o the_o great_a disquiet_n and_o trouble_n which_o i_o be_v sure_o the_o thing_n will_v cost_v do_v partly_o represent_v themselves_o to_o i_o and_o consider_v how_o extreme_o well_o content_a i_o be_v in_o that_o first_o house_n and_o though_o former_o i_o have_v treat_v of_o this_o other_o business_n yet_o it_o be_v not_o with_o any_o such_o resolution_n and_o certainty_n as_o if_o it_o may_v be_v sure_a to_o take_v effect_n now_o here_o it_o seem_v to_o i_o that_o the_o reward_n set_v itself_o instant_o before_o i_o for_o the_o do_v it_o but_o yet_o when_o i_o see_v that_o it_o be_v likely_a to_o be_v a_o thing_n of_o very_o great_a disquiet_n and_o trouble_v i_o be_v still_o in_o a_o kind_n of_o doubt_n what_o i_o will_v final_o do_v and_o yet_o they_o be_v so_o many_o several_a time_n that_o our_o lord_n renew_v his_o speech_n to_o i_o upon_o this_o subject_n represent_v so_o many_o cause_n and_o reason_n for_o it_o that_o i_o see_v clear_o enough_o that_o it_o be_v his_o will_n so_o that_o now_o i_o think_v no_o more_o of_o any_o thing_n else_o but_o only_o to_o acquaint_v my_o ghostly_a father_n with_o it_o and_o so_o i_o give_v he_o all_o that_o which_o have_v occur_v in_o write_v as_o for_o he_o he_o dare_v not_o resolut_o will_v i_o to_o give_v it_o over_o but_o see_v that_o there_o be_v little_a appearance_n to_o carry_v it_o through_o according_a to_o the_o discourse_n of_o natural_a reason_n in_o regard_n that_o my_o companion_n and_o friend_n who_o be_v the_o only_o person_n who_o be_v to_o do_v it_o have_v very_o little_a or_o no_o mean_n to_o effect_v it_o he_o wish_v i_o to_o treat_v of_o it_o with_o the_o prelate_n who_o be_v my_o superior_a and_o that_o i_o shall_v do_v therein_o what_o he_o ordain_v but_o i_o speak_v not_o of_o these_o vision_n with_o that_o prelate_n but_o that_o lady_n treat_v with_o he_o and_o tell_v he_o that_o she_o desire_v to_o erect_v a_o new_a monastery_n and_o the_o provincial_n do_v very_o glad_o give_v way_n for_o he_o be_v a_o friend_n of_o all_o religious_a observance_n and_o piety_n and_o so_o he_o afford_v all_o the_o favour_n which_o be_v needful_a and_o tell_v she_o that_o he_o will_v admit_v and_o accept_v the_o house_n they_o speak_v then_o of_o the_o revenue_n which_o it_o be_v to_o have_v and_o we_o never_o incline_v to_o let_v it_o consist_v of_o more_o than_o thirteen_o religious_a &_o this_o for_o many_o reason_n but_o before_o we_o begin_v to_o treat_v of_o the_o matter_n thus_o far_o we_o write_v to_o the_o holy_a man_n fray_n pedro_n de_fw-fr alcantara_n and_o acquaint_v he_o with_o all_o that_o which_o pass_v and_o he_o counsel_v we_o to_o proceed_v in_o this_o design_n and_o he_o send_v we_o his_o opinion_n upon_o the_o whole_a business_n but_o now_o this_o purpose_n of_o we_o be_v no_o soon_o know_v over_o the_o town_n than_o there_o do_v instant_o grow_v to_o be_v such_o a_o persecution_n against_o we_o as_o can_v be_v write_v in_o few_o word_n the_o scoff_n the_o icare_n the_o laugh_a the_o say_n that_o it_o be_v a_o foolery_n and_o senseless_a toy_n that_o for_o my_o part_n i_o be_v well_o enough_o in_o my_o monastery_n but_o for_o my_o companion_n and_o friend_n they_o cast_v such_o a_o load_n of_o persecution_n upon_o she_o that_o they_o even_o overlay_v she_o as_o for_o i_o i_o know_v not_o what_o to_o do_v for_o i_o thought_n that_o they_o have_v partly_o some_o reason_n but_o be_v thus_o distress_v and_o recommend_v myself_o one_o day_n to_o almighty_a god_n his_o divine_a majesty_n begin_v to_o comfort_v and_o encourage_v i_o and_o tell_v i_o that_o now_o i_o may_v see_v through_o what_o difficulty_n those_o saint_n have_v pass_v who_o have_v found_v the_o religious_a order_n of_o the_o church_n and_o that_o we_o be_v to_o pass_v through_o many_o more_o persecution_n than_o i_o can_v imagine_v but_o that_o yet_o we_o shall_v not_o be_v trouble_v at_o all_o he_o tell_v i_o also_o some_o thing_n which_o i_o be_v to_o deliver_v to_o my_o companion_n and_o the_o thing_n at_o which_o i_o wonder_v most_o be_v that_o instant_o we_o be_v comfort_v in_o respect_n of_o all_o that_o which_o be_v pass_v and_o encourage_v for_o all_o that_o which_o be_v to_o be_v future_a and_o it_o be_v certain_a that_o there_o be_v not_o in_o all_o that_o town_n any_o one_o person_n of_o prayer_n nay_o in_o fine_a there_o be_v scarce_o any_o one_o at_o all_o who_o do_v not_o oppose_v we_o at_o that_o time_n and_o who_o think_v not_o this_o design_n to_o be_v a_o most_o senseless_a thing_n there_o be_v so_o many_o jest_n and_o learing_n and_o stir_n in_o our_o very_a monastery_n that_o now_o even_o the_o provincial_n oppose_v himself_o stiff_o against_o we_o and_o he_o change_v his_o former_a opinion_n and_o now_o will_v no_o long_o admit_v the_o house_n but_o say_v that_o the_o rent_n be_v both_o little_a and_o beside_o not_o very_o secure_a and_o that_o there_o be_v very_o great_a contradiction_n he_o seem_v to_o have_v reason_n in_o all_o and_o in_o fine_a he_o gave-ove_a the_o business_n and_o will_v not_o admit_v the_o house_n now_o we_o who_o have_v already_o receive_v the_o first_o blow_n upon_o our_o own_o head_n be_v great_o trouble_v at_o it_o but_o particular_o it_o strike_v i_o much_o that_o the_o provincial_n be_v now_o find_v to_o be_v opposite_a for_o
desire_v for_o four_o or_o five_o year_n together_o before_o her_o end_n and_o then_o she_o die_v upon_o a_o sudden_a without_o be_v so_o much_o as_o visit_v and_o much_o less_o confess_v but_o the_o happiness_n be_v that_o according_a to_o the_o custom_n which_o she_o have_v hold_v there_o be_v little_o more_o than_o eight_o day_n expire_v after_o her_o last_o confession_n this_o make_v i_o a_o very_a glad_a woman_n when_o i_o know_v of_o her_o death_n and_o she_o stay_v a_o very_a short_a time_n in_o purgatory_n nor_o be_v it_o yet_o above_o eight_o day_n since_o our_o lord_n appear_v to_o i_o after_o i_o have_v receive_v the_o bless_a sacrament_n and_o be_v please_v to_o let_v i_o see_v how_o he_o carry_v my_o sister_n soul_n into_o glory_n in_o all_o these_o year_n from_o the_o time_n when_o the_o particular_a concern_v she_o be_v tell_v i_o till_o her_o very_a death_n i_o forget_v not_o that_o which_o have_v be_v give_v i_o to_o be_v understand_v concern_v she_o as_o neither_o also_o do_v my_o companion_n for_o as_o soon_o as_o she_o have_v hear_v of_o my_o sister_n death_n she_o come_v towards_o i_o with_o much_o admiration_n to_o see_v how_o all_o have_v be_v fulfil_v let_v our_o lord_n be_v praise_v for_o ever_o who_o vouchsafe_v to_o take_v such_o care_n of_o soul_n to_o the_o end_n that_o they_o may_v not_o perish_v amen_n the_o five_o and_o thirty_o chapter_n she_o prosecute_v the_o same_o discourse_n about_o the_o foundation_n of_o this_o house_n of_o our_o glorious_a father_n s._n joseph_n she_o speak_v of_o the_o degree_n by_o which_o our_o lord_n come_v to_o appoint_v that_o holy_a poverty_n shall_v be_v ordain_v there_o and_o of_o the_o cause_n why_o she_o come_v from_o that_o lady_n with_o who_o she_o be_v and_o of_o other_o thing_n also_o which_o succeed_v but_o now_o whilst_o i_o be_v with_o that_o lady_n of_o who_o i_o have_v speak_v and_o with_o who_o i_o have_v remain_v more_o than_o half_a a_o year_n our_o lord_n do_v so_o ordain_v that_o a_o certain_a holy_a woman_n of_o our_o order_n fall_v out_o to_o come_v from_o a_o place_n which_o be_v no_o less_o than_o threescore_o and_o then_o league_n off_o from_o this_o and_o to_o arrive_v here_o and_o to_o lengthen_v her_o way_n by_o some_o league_n on_o purpose_n to_o speak_v with_o i_o our_o lord_n have_v move_v she_o to_o this_o in_o the_o selfsame_a year_n when_o he_o move_v i_o to_o make_v another_o monastery_n of_o this_o order_n and_o as_o soon_o as_o she_o have_v entertain_v this_o desire_n she_o sell_v whatsoever_o she_o possess_v and_o go_v herself_o barefoot_a to_o rome_n to_o get_v and_o bring-away_a the_o dispatch_n of_o this_o business_n this_o woman_n be_v a_o person_n of_o much_o penance_n and_o prayer_n and_o our_o lord_n do_v she_o many_o favour_n and_o our_o b._n lady_n appear_v to_o she_o and_o require_v she_o still_o to_o do_v what_o she_o be_v do_v and_o she_o serve_v our_o bless_a lord_n so_o incomparable_o beyond_o any_o thing_n that_o i_o can_v do_v that_o i_o be_v in_o confusion_n even_o to_o appear_v in_o her_o presence_n she_o show_v i_o the_o dispatch_n which_o she_o bring_v from_o rome_n and_o in_o those_o fifteen_o day_n which_o she_o stay_v with_o i_o we_o take_v order_n how_o we_o will_v make_v these_o monastery_n and_o till_o i_o have_v speak_v with_o she_o it_o never_o have_v come_v to_o my_o knowledge_n that_o our_o rule_n till_o it_o be_v relax_v do_v ever_o command_v that_o none_o of_o the_o religious_a house_n of_o our_o order_n shall_v have_v any_o propriety_n in_o any_o good_n nor_o have_v myself_o have_v any_o purpose_n to_o find_v any_o monastery_n at_o all_o without_o revenue_n for_o my_o intention_n be_v that_o we_o shall_v be_v free_a from_o the_o care_n of_o procure_v any_o such_o thing_n as_o we_o may_v be_v in_o necessity_n to_o use_v but_o this_o bless_a woman_n have_v be_v instruct_v by_o our_o lord_n be_v grow_v to_o understand_v that_o truth_n very_o well_o without_o be_v able_a so_o much_o as_o to_o read_v of_o which_o truth_n i_o be_v ignorant_a even_o after_o have_v take_v so_o much_o pain_n to_o read_v over_o the_o constitution_n of_o our_o order_n and_o as_o soon_o as_o she_o acquaint_v i_o with_o her_o purpose_n i_o like_v it_o well_o though_o yet_o i_o be_v afraid_a that_o it_o will_v not_o be_v yield_v to_o but_o that_o they_o will_v say_v perhaps_o that_o these_o be_v but_o impertinency_n and_o wish_v that_o i_o will_v not_o do_v any_o thing_n whereby_o other_o may_v be_v put_v to_o suffer_v through_o my_o fault_n though_o yet_o in_o very_a deed_n if_o i_o have_v be_v alone_o i_o will_v not_o have_v be_v detain_v one_o minute_n from_o do_v it_o since_o it_o will_v be_v a_o regalo_n to_o my_o soul_n to_o observe_v &_o follow_v the_o counsel_n of_o jesus-christ_n our_o lord_n for_o real_o his_o divine_a majesty_n have_v already_o give_v i_o great_a desire_n to_o observe_v poverty_n so_o that_o for_o my_o part_n i_o make_v no_o doubt_n but_o that_o this_o be_v best_a yea_o and_o i_o have_v long_o desire_v that_o it_o may_v be_v possible_a and_o compatible_a with_o my_o state_n that_o i_o may_v go_v beg_v my_o bread_n for_o the_o love_n of_o god_n without_o have_v so_o much_o as_o a_o house_n or_o any_o thing_n else_o but_o only_o i_o be_v in_o fear_n that_o if_o our_o bless_a lord_n shall_v not_o give_v the_o selfsame_a desire_n to_o other_o which_o he_o give_v to_o i_o they_o will_v live_v perhaps_o with_o disgust_n and_o consequent_o that_o it_o may_v prove_v a_o cause_n of_o some_o distraction_n or_o division_n for_o i_o see_v that_o there_o be_v some_o poor_a monastery_n which_o live_v not_o with_o much_o recollection_n and_o i_o consider_v not_o that_o their_o not_o be_v recollect_v be_v the_o cause_n of_o their_o be_v so_o poor_a and_o not_o their_o poverty_n the_o cause_n of_o their_o want_n of_o recollection_n for_o distraction_n make_v they_o not_o more_o rich_a nor_o be_v ever_o almighty_a god_n want_v to_o such_o as_o serve_v he_o in_o fine_a my_o faith_n be_v weak_a which_o that_o of_o this_o servant_n of_o god_n be_v not_o but_o now_o i_o who_o will_v be_v take_v the_o opinion_n of_o so_o many_o person_n for_o every_o thing_n which_o i_o be_v to_o do_v can_v find_v no_o body_n of_o this_o mind_n no_o nor_o even_o my_o ghostly_a father_n himself_o nor_o yet_o those_o other_o learned_a man_n who_o i_o consult_v in_o the_o case_n but_o they_o bring_v i_o so_o many_o reason_n against_o it_o that_o i_o know_v not_o which_o way_n to_o turn_v myself_o for_o i_o for_o my_o part_n who_o know_v already_o that_o it_o be_v the_o rule_n of_o the_o order_n and_o know_v also_o that_o it_o be_v a_o point_n of_o more_o perfection_n can_v not_o persuade_v myself_o to_o have_v revenue_n and_o though_o sometime_o they_o convince_v i_o towards_o their_o opinion_n yet_o still_o when_o i_o return_v to_o prayer_n and_o consider_v christ_n our_o lord_n so_o very_o poor_a and_o naked_a upon_o the_o cross_n i_o be_v not_o able_a so_o much_o as_o 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the_o flame_v hart_n or_o the_o life_n of_o the_o glorious_a s._n teresa_n foundress_n of_o the_o reformation_n of_o the_o order_n of_o the_o all-immaculate_a virgin-mother_n our_o b._n lady_n of_o mount-carmel_n this_o history_n of_o her_o life_n be_v write_v by_o the_o saint_n herself_o in_o spanish_a and_o be_v new_o now_o translate_v into_o english_a in_o the_o year_n of_o our_o lord_n god_n 1642._o aut_fw-la mori_fw-la aut_fw-la pati_fw-la either_o to_o die_v or_o else_o to_o suffer_v chap._n 40._o antwerp_n print_v by_o johannes_n meursius_n anno_fw-la m._n dc_o xlii_o to_o the_o incomparable_a sovereign_a princess_n henrietta-maria_a of_o france_z qveen_n of_o great_a britain_n france_n and_o irland_n madam_n i_o presume_v not_o now_o to_o approach_v to_o your_o majesty_n presence_n with_o design_n to_o beg_v your_o favour_n though_o this_o use_v to_o be_v the_o case_n of_o every_o creature_n but_o to_o pay_v your_o majesty_n a_o service_n and_o that_o a_o great_a one_o for_o 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and_o perfection_n it_o be_v hard_a for_o any_o pen_n to_o express_v and_o few_o heart_n even_o of_o the_o most_o refine_a and_o raise_v can_v full_o understand_v and_o comprehend_v for_o though_o it_o be_v translate_v long_o ago_o by_o a_o eminent_a and_o worthy_a man_n of_o our_o nation_n in_o the_o great_a devotion_n which_o he_o carry_v to_o his_o excellent_a saint_n yet_o he_o have_v live_v so_o very_o long_o out_o of_o his_o countâ—â—_n and_o have_v attend_v in_o so_o serious_a a_o manner_n to_o the_o acquire_v of_o perfection_n and_o knowledge_n in_o order_n to_o the_o conversion_n of_o soul_n that_o on_o the_o one_o side_n he_o seem_v to_o have_v lose_v a_o little_a of_o the_o purity_n of_o his_o own_o english_a tongue_n and_o on_o the_o other_o not_o to_o have_v acquire_v enough_o of_o the_o spanish_a and_o consequent_o not_o to_o have_v be_v able_a to_o perform_v the_o work_n so_o exact_o as_o he_o desire_v since_o such_o a_o book_n as_o be_v so_o sublime_o conceive_v by_o 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confess_v i_o wonder_v that_o some_o such_o review_v and_o reformation_n concern_v a_o public_a work_n so_o much_o import_v the_o glory_n of_o almighty_a god_n and_o the_o honour_n of_o so_o eminent_a a_o saint_n can_v be_v forbear_v so_o long_o but_o even_o that_o very_a conceit_n and_o consideration_n do_v help_v to_o clap_v the_o spur_n into_o my_o side_n towards_o a_o run_n through_o this_o course_n and_o carreire_n with_o all_o the_o care_n &_o speed_n which_o i_o can_v possible_o use_v and_o herein_o though_o my_o ability_n be_v small_a yet_o my_o attention_n grow_v to_o be_v great_a and_o so_o i_o consider_v several_a copy_n and_o take_v also_o many_o opinion_n and_o yet_o find_v that_o all_o my_o diligence_n be_v few_o enough_o towards_o the_o discharge_n of_o the_o multitude_n of_o doubt_n and_o difficultye_n which_o occur_v partly_o through_o the_o
be_v extreme_o fierce_a of_o a_o double_a quartane_a which_o i_o be_v also_o then_o grow_v to_o have_v about_o this_o time_n i_o make_v so_o very_o great_a haste_n to_o return_v to_o the_o monastery_n that_o i_o get_v myself_o to_o be_v carry_v away_o as_o i_o be_v and_o they_o receive_v she_o who_o they_o expect_v for_o dead_a with_o a_o soul_n which_o be_v yet_o in_o the_o body_n but_o the_o body_n itself_o worse_o than_o dead_a through_o the_o pain_n they_o see_v it_o endure_v the_o great_a extremity_n of_o my_o weakness_n can_v be_v relate_v for_o i_o have_v nothing_o leave_v but_o my_o skin_n and_o bone_n and_o i_o must_v say_v that_o i_o continue_v thus_o above_o eight_o month_n for_o i_o be_v direct_o a_o cripple_n though_o yet_o i_o be_v then_o on_o the_o mend_a hand_n upon_o the_o very_a point_n of_o three_o year_n when_o now_o i_o begin_v to_o go_v upon_o all_o four_o i_o thank_v god_n as_o for_o a_o good_a degree_n of_o amendment_n but_o i_o pass_v through_o all_o these_o affliction_n with_o great_a comformitie_n to_o the_o holy_a will_n of_o almighty_a god_n yea_o and_o unless_o it_o be_v in_o the_o very_a beginning_n with_o much_o alacrity_n and_o joy_n for_o i_o esteem_v it_o all_o as_o nothing_o be_v compare_v with_o those_o pain_n and_o torment_n wherein_o i_o have_v be_v before_o and_o i_o be_v whole_o resign_v then_o to_o god_n holy_a will_n although_o he_o shall_v have_v leave_v i_o in_o that_o state_n for_o ever_o i_o be_o of_o opinion_n that_o all_o the_o anxiety_n of_o my_o desire_n to_o recover_v be_v only_o that_o i_o may_v apply_v myself_o to_o prayer_n all_o alone_a as_o i_o have_v be_v instruct_v but_o for_o this_o there_o be_v no_o mean_n in_o the_o infirmarie_n i_o confess_v my_o sin_n very_o often_o i_o speak_v with_o they_o much_o of_o god_n in_o such_o sort_n as_o that_o it_o edifyed_a they_o all_o and_o indeed_o they_o be_v amaze_v to_o see_v the_o patience_n which_o our_o lord_n impart_v to_o i_o for_o if_o it_o have_v not_o come_v from_o the_o hand_n of_o his_o divine_a majesty_n it_o seem_v a_o kind_n of_o impossible_a thing_n to_o endure_v such_o a_o deal_n of_o torment_n with_o so_o much_o contentment_n a_o point_n of_o great_a moment_n that_o favour_n be_v which_o our_o b._n lord_n have_v vouchsafe_v to_o do_v i_o by_o give_v i_o prayer_n for_o this_o make_v i_o come_v to_o know_v what_o it_o be_v to_o love_v he_o and_o from_o that_o little_a time_n which_o i_o spend_v therein_o i_o find_v these_o virtue_n to_o be_v grow_v up_o fresh_a in_o i_o though_o yet_o they_o be_v not_o strong_a nor_o able_a to_o hold_v i_o upright_o in_o strict_a account_n i_o speak_v not_o ill_o of_o any_o creature_n how_o little_a soever_o it_o may_v be_v but_o my_o ordinary_a custom_n be_v to_o avoid_v all_o manner_n of_o detraction_n for_o i_o always_o have_v this_o thought_n present_a with_o i_o that_o i_o be_v never_o to_o wish_v nor_o to_o say_v any_o such_o thing_n of_o any_o creature_n as_o i_o will_v not_o have_v they_o say_v of_o i_o and_o i_o take_v this_o so_o extreme_o to_o hart_n in_o all_o such_o occasion_n as_o may_v occur_v though_o yet_o not_o still_o so_o very_o perfect_o when_o sometime_o any_o great_a occasion_n be_v offer_v i_o to_o break_v my_o rule_n that_o this_o be_v my_o constant_a use_n and_o i_o persuade_v such_o as_o be_v wont_a to_o be_v much_o in_o my_o company_n and_o conversation_n so_o earnest_o to_o this_o practice_n that_o it_o grow_v also_o up_o with_o they_o into_o custom_n by_o this_o mean_n it_o come_v to_o be_v common_o understand_v that_o wheresoever_o i_o chance_v to_o be_v all_o absent_a person_n be_v safe_a and_o so_o be_v they_o also_o much_o more_o conceived_a to_o be_v when_o any_o of_o my_o near_a friend_n or_o kindred_n or_o other_o who_o i_o have_v instruct_v be_v concern_v though_o in_o other_o thing_n i_o have_v a_o great_a account_n to_o make_v to_o almighty_a god_n for_o the_o ill_a example_n which_o i_o give_v they_o i_o beseech_v his_o divine_a majesty_n to_o forgive_v those_o many_o ill_a thing_n whereof_o i_o have_v be_v cause_n howsoever_o i_o be_v not_o so_o with_o so_o wicked_a intention_n as_o the_o action_n succeed_v ill_o afterward_o i_o still_o remain_v with_o great_a like_n to_o enjoy_v solitude_n and_o i_o also_o love_v in_o particular_a manner_n to_o discourse_v and_o treat_v of_o thing_n concern_v almighty_a god_n and_o if_o still_o i_o can_v find_v with_o who_o that_o give_v i_o more_o contentment_n and_o even_o recreation_n than_o all_o the_o politenes_n or_o rather_o i_o think_v i_o may_v say_v grossness_n of_o the_o conversation_n of_o the_o world_n can_v do_v and_o i_o love_v to_o confess_v and_o communicate_v often_o than_o i_o have_v do_v and_o to_o desire_v it_o much_o and_o to_o be_v extreme_o affect_v with_o read_v good_a book_n and_o to_o have_v so_o extraordinary_a a_o sorrow_n for_o have_v offend_v almighty_a god_n that_o many_o time_n i_o remember_v how_o i_o dare_v not_o adventure_v to_o put_v myself_o into_o prayer_n because_o i_o fear_v that_o excessive_a pain_n which_o i_o be_v sure_a i_o shall_v feel_v in_o the_o quality_n of_o a_o great_a punishment_n for_o my_o offence_n and_o this_o grow_v afterward_o to_o such_o a_o extremity_n that_o i_o know_v not_o to_o what_o in_o fine_a i_o may_v well_o compare_v this_o torment_n but_o now_o this_o never_o happen_v to_o i_o either_o more_o or_o less_o for_o any_o fear_n at_o all_o but_o only_o when_o i_o remember_v those_o regalo_n which_o our_o lord_n have_v be_v please_v to_o vouchsafe_v i_o in_o my_o prayer_n and_o the_o very_a much_o that_o i_o owe_v his_o divine_a majesty_n for_o those_o high_a favour_n and_o when_o i_o see_v how_o ill_o i_o pay_v he_o for_o all_o his_o goodness_n i_o be_v no_o long_o able_a to_o endure_v it_o yea_o and_o i_o find_v myself_o also_o extreme_o offend_v with_o myself_o even_o for_o the_o many_o tear_n which_o i_o shed_v for_o the_o fault_n when_o i_o see_v the_o so_o little_a amendment_n which_o i_o make_v whilst_o neither_o my_o resolution_n nor_o the_o pain_n and_o care_n wherein_o i_o be_v not_o to_o fall_v back_o again_o when_o once_o the_o occasion_n shall_v be_v offer_v be_v sufficient_a to_o stay_v i_o for_o then_o even_o my_o very_a teat_n will_v seem_v deceitful_a to_o my_o very_a self_n and_o my_o fault_n will_v also_o appear_v so_o much_o the_o fowler_n because_o i_o see_v the_o great_a favour_n which_o our_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o do_v i_o by_o impart_v those_o tear_n to_o my_o eye_n and_o so_o great_a repentance_n to_o my_o hart_n i_o procure_v also_o to_o confess_v myself_o often_o and_o so_o in_o my_o opinion_n i_o do_v what_o i_o can_v on_o my_o part_n to_o restore_v myself_o to_o the_o state_n of_o grace_n but_o all_o my_o misery_n indeed_o consist_v in_o that_o i_o pluck_v not_o the_o occasion_n of_o sin_n up_o by_o the_o root_n and_o partly_o also_o in_o those_o ghostly_a father_n who_o assist_v i_o little_a for_o if_o they_o have_v once_o direct_o declare_v to_o i_o the_o danger_n wherein_o i_o be_v from_o time_n to_o time_n and_o that_o i_o be_v in_o obligation_n not_o to_o have_v pass_v my_o hour_n in_o such_o conversation_n i_o be_o very_o confident_o persuade_v that_o all_z will_v have_v be_v quick_o redress_v for_o i_o shall_v never_o have_v endure_v to_o pass_v one_o day_n in_o mortal_a sin_n if_o i_o have_v understand_v the_o case_n all_o these_o sign_n and_o hope_n of_o my_o endeavour_v to_o fear_v and_o serve_v almighty_a god_n be_v come_v to_o i_o by_o mean_n of_o prayer_n and_o the_o great_a of_o they_o all_o be_v that_o i_o walk_v as_o it_o be_v all_o wrap_v up_o in_o love_n for_o as_o for_o the_o punishment_n of_o sin_n it_o never_o once_o appear_v before_o i_o all_o the_o while_n that_o i_o be_v so_o sick_a i_o continue_v to_o keep_v a_o very_a close_a guard_n upon_o my_o conscience_n for_o as_o much_o as_o may_v concern_v mortal_a sinne._n but_o o_o my_o dear_a lord_n how_o vehement_o do_v i_o desire_v to_o be_v restore_v to_o my_o health_n that_o i_o may_v procure_v to_o serve_v thou_o so_o much_o the_o better_o whereas_o yet_o in_o very_a deed_n it_o be_v the_o occasion_n of_o all_o my_o misery_n but_o now_o when_o i_o find_v myself_o so_o lame_a and_o even_o such_o a_o cripple_n and_o that_o whilst_o i_o be_v yet_o so_o very_o young_a and_o how_o the_o physician_n of_o this_o world_n have_v dress_v i_o and_o to_o what_o state_n they_o have_v bring_v i_o i_o resolve_v that_o i_o will_v apply_v myself_o to_o those_o of_o the_o other_o to_o the_o end_n that_o they_o may_v cure_v i_o for_o
i_o remain_v so_o alter_v yea_o and_o so_o astonish_v that_o i_o intend_v to_o see_v that_o person_n no_o more_o it_o do_v i_o a_o great_a deal_n of_o hurt_n that_o i_o know_v not_o at_o that_o time_n that_o it_o be_v possible_a for_o one_o to_o see_v any_o thing_n but_o with_o the_o eye_n of_o the_o body_n and_o the_o devil_n be_v careful_a enough_o to_o continue_v i_o in_o that_o erroneous_a opinion_n and_o to_o make_v i_o still_o believe_v that_o it_o be_v impossible_a and_o therefore_o that_o i_o have_v but_o fancy_v certain_a thing_n to_o myself_o and_o that_o perhaps_o it_o may_v be_v a_o work_n of_o the_o devil_n and_o he_o bring_v many_o suggestion_n like_o this_o upon_o i_o though_o yet_o still_o i_o be_v very_o confident_o of_o opinion_n that_o it_o be_v god_n and_o no_o conceit_n or_o fancy_n at_o all_o but_o yet_o still_o because_o it_o induce_v i_o to_o do_v thing_n which_o be_v against_o my_o gust_n i_o do_v the_o best_a i_o can_v even_o to_o belie_v my_o very_a self_n and_o forasmuch_o as_o i_o dare_v not_o confer_v with_o any_o body_n about_o this_o particular_a and_o find_v myself_o also_o extreme_o importune_v afterward_o and_o be_v wish_v to_o be_v assure_v that_o it_o can_v not_o be_v ill_o do_v to_o see_v such_o a_o person_n as_o that_o and_o that_o there_o will_v be_v no_o loss_n of_o honour_n by_o it_o but_o rather_o gain_v i_o return_v to_o enjoy_v the_o same_o conversation_n yea_o and_o also_o at_o other_o time_n i_o converse_v in_o like_a manner_n with_o other_o for_o they_o be_v many_o year_n wherein_o i_o take_v this_o pestilential_a recreation_n and_o when_o once_o i_o be_v far_o embark_v therein_o it_o seem_v not_o to_o i_o to_o be_v so_o very_a ill_n as_o yet_o indeed_o it_o be_v though_o still_o it_o be_v very_o true_a that_o sometime_o i_o discern_v clear_o enough_o that_o it_o be_v not_o good_a but_o yet_o no_o other_o conversation_n distract_v i_o so_o much_o as_o this_o in_o particular_a do_v by_o reason_n of_o the_o great_a affection_n which_o i_o bear_v to_o the_o party_n but_o myself_o be_v afterward_o again_o with_o the_o same_o person_n we_o both_o of_o we_o see_v come_v towards_o we_o and_o there_o be_v other_o also_o present_a who_o see_v it_o too_o a_o certain_a thing_n which_o have_v the_o manner_n of_o a_o great_a toad_n and_o it_o press_v and_o pass_v on_o with_o very_o much_o more_o speed_n than_o such_o creature_n use_v to_o have_v for_o my_o part_n i_o be_v not_o able_a to_o conceive_v how_o such_o a_o filthy_a beast_n as_o that_o shall_v get_v into_o that_o room_n through_o that_o part_n from_o whence_o it_o come_v and_o even_o as_o it_o be_v at_o noon_n day_n nor_o have_v ever_o any_o such_o thing_n be_v see_v there_o the_o effect_n which_o it_o wrought_v with_o i_o seem_v not_o to_o have_v be_v void_a of_o some_o mystery_n and_o this_o also_o be_v a_o thing_n which_o i_o can_v never_o forget_v but_o o_o greatness_n of_o almighty_a god_n with_o how_o much_o care_n &_o pity_n be_v thou_o admonish_v i_o in_o so_o many_o kind_n and_o by_o so_o many_o way_n &_o how_o little_a do_v i_o permit_v that_o all_o these_o warning_n shall_v help_v there_o be_v also_o there_o at_o that_o time_n a_o certain_a religious_a woman_n of_o my_o kindred_n and_o she_o be_v ancient_a and_o a_o great_a servant_n of_o god_n and_o of_o much_o discipline_n in_o her_o religious_a order_n she_o also_o will_v sometime_o be_v give_v i_o good_a counsel_n but_o i_o do_v not_o only_o not_o believe_v she_o but_o be_v also_o disgu_v with_o she_o as_o conceave_a that_o she_o will_v needs_o take_v scandal_n at_o i_o without_o cause_n and_o this_o i_o here_o relate_v to_o the_o end_n that_o both_o my_o wickedness_n and_o the_o great_a goodness_n of_o almighty_a god_n may_v be_v the_o better_o understand_v and_o that_o it_o may_v be_v know_v how_o well_o i_o deserve_a hell_n for_o my_o great_a ingratitude_n and_o i_o do_v it_o also_o to_o this_o end_n that_o if_o our_o lord_n may_v so_o ordain_v &_o be_v please_v that_o any_o religious_a woman_n may_v fall_v upon_o read_v this_o discourse_n they_o may_v be_v bring_v to_o be_v careful_a to_o take_v warning_n by_o i_o and_o i_o beg_v of_o they_o that_o for_o the_o love_n of_o our_o lord_n they_o will_v take_v heed_n of_o such_o recreation_n as_o these_o and_o i_o beseech_v his_o divine_a majesty_n that_o some_o one_o of_o they_o may_v be_v disabused_n who_o i_o have_v deceive_v when_o i_o tell_v they_o that_o it_o be_v not_o ill_a and_o when_o be_v in_o such_o blindness_n at_o that_o time_n i_o procure_v to_o assure_v they_o that_o there_o be_v no_o danger_n at_o all_o and_o in_o regard_n also_o that_o by_o the_o ill_a example_n which_o i_o give_v give_v they_o as_o i_o have_v relate_v here_o i_o be_v a_o cause_n to_o they_o of_o great_a mischief_n while_o yet_o i_o think_v not_o that_o i_o do_v so_o much_o hurt_v and_o though_o also_o it_o be_v certain_a that_o i_o have_v no_o design_n at_o all_o to_o deceive_v they_o but_o now_o even_o while_o i_o be_v yet_o much_o indispose_v in_o the_o way_n of_o health_n both_o concern_v body_n and_o mind_n and_o so_o before_o i_o be_v able_a to_o help_v myself_o in_o either_o kind_n i_o grow_v into_o a_o extreme_a desire_n to_o do_v other_o good_a which_o be_v a_o very_a ordinary_a temptation_n for_o new_a beginner_n though_o yet_o it_o happen_v now_o to_o succeed_v well_o with_o i_o and_o consider_v how_o dear_o i_o love_v my_o father_n i_o wish_v he_o the_o self_n same_o benefit_n which_o i_o conceive_v myself_o to_o have_v get_v and_o gain_v by_o mean_n of_o mental_a prayer_n and_o esteem_v that_o in_o this_o life_n there_o be_v no_o great_a blessing_n then_o to_o obtain_v and_o enjoy_v that_o gift_n i_o begin_v by_o certain_a way_n of_o discourse_n to_o procure_v the_o best_a i_o can_v that_o he_o will_v endeavour_v to_o obtain_v it_o and_o i_o give_v he_o certain_a book_n for_o this_o purpose_n now_o he_o be_v a_o man_n of_o so_o much_o virtue_n as_o i_o have_v already_o declare_v grow_v to_o settle_v himself_o so_o very_o well_o in_o this_o exercise_n that_o he_o come_v within_o five_o or_o six_o year_n for_o so_o long_o i_o think_v it_o be_v to_o be_v so_o well_o improve_v and_o advance_v therein_o that_o i_o bless_v our_o lord_n much_o for_o the_o favour_n and_o it_o give_v i_o a_o extreme_a consolation_n the_o trouble_n and_o cross_n which_o he_o endure_v be_v very_o great_a and_o of_o many_o kind_n and_o he_o pass_v through_o they_o all_o with_o much_o conformity_n to_o the_o will_n of_o our_o lord_n he_o come_v to_o see_v i_o often_o and_o be_v great_o comfort_v to_o treat_v of_o spiritual_a thing_n and_o when_o now_o i_o live_v so_o distract_v and_o diffuse_v without_o use_v mental_a prayer_n and_o see_v withal_o that_o he_o conceive_v i_o to_o be_v still_o the_o very_a same_o that_o i_o have_v be_v before_o i_o be_v not_o able_a to_o endure_v to_o live_v without_o undeceaving_a he_o for_o i_o have_v then_o be_v a_o year_n and_o more_o without_o mental_a prayer_n as_o think_v it_o more_o humility_n for_o i_o to_o abstain_v and_o this_o as_o i_o shall_v declare_v afterward_o be_v the_o great_a and_o worst_a temptation_n that_o ever_o i_o have_v for_o by_o this_o mean_n iranne_n headlong_o upon_o my_o total_a ruin_n whereas_o when_o i_o frequent_v prayer_n if_o i_o offend_v god_n one_o day_n i_o return_v to_o recollect_v myself_o upon_o another_o and_o so_o to_o absent_v myself_o from_o the_o occasion_n but_o that_o bless_a man_n my_o father_n come_v to_o see_v i_o in_o such_o state_n as_o this_o it_o be_v too_o much_o for_o i_o as_o i_o be_v say_v to_o let_v he_o walk_v on_o so_o far_o in_o error_n as_o to_o think_v that_o i_o still_o converse_v with_o god_n in_o prayer_n as_o former_o i_o have_v do_v and_o so_o i_o tell_v he_o then_o that_o i_o do_v no_o long_o use_v mental_a prayer_n though_o yet_o i_o do_v not_o tell_v he_o the_o cause_n thereof_o but_o i_o allege_v my_o infirmity_n for_o the_o reason_n and_o that_o although_o i_o be_v recover_v of_o the_o main_n sickness_n i_o have_v yet_o disease_n yea_o and_o very_o great_a one_o still_o and_o that_o although_o of_o late_a they_o have_v not_o assault_v i_o with_o so_o very_a great_a fierceness_n as_o before_o yet_o they_o fail_v not_o still_o to_o continue_v and_o to_o exercise_v i_o also_o in_o many_o kind_n in_o particular_a that_o i_o have_v certain_a vomit_n for_o twenty_o year_n together_o every_o morning_n in_o such_o sort_n as_o that_o i_o can_v never_o break_v my_o fast_n till_o noon_n be_v past_a yea_o and_o
a_o firm_a foundation_n so_o that_o the_o true_a love_n of_o god_n consist_v not_o in_o have_v tear_n or_o tenderness_n or_o spiritual_a gust_n which_o we_o be_v wont_n for_o the_o most_o part_n to_o desire_v and_o to_o take_v comfort_n in_o but_o to_o serve_v his_o divine_a majesty_n with_o word_n justice_n and_o fortitude_n and_o humility_n for_o in_o that_o other_o course_n i_o think_v we_o be_v rather_o on_o the_o take_a hand_n then_o on_o the_o give_n any_o thing_n of_o our_o own_o as_o for_o poor_a weak_a silly_a woman_n and_o who_o be_v of_o little_a courage_n like_v i_o i_o think_v i_o can_v find_v it_o fit_a that_o our_o lord_n shall_v carry_v they_o on_o with_o regalo_n that_o so_o they_o may_v be_v the_o better_o induce_v to_o suffer_v those_o affliction_n which_o it_o have_v please_v his_o divine_a majesty_n that_o they_o shall_v bear_v but_o for_o the_o true_a servant_n of_o god_n man_n of_o substance_n and_o solid_a way_n man_n of_o learning_n and_o understanding_n to_o make_v so_o much_o reflection_n upon_o god_n be_v not_o give_v they_o tenderness_n of_o devotion_n as_o i_o see_v they_o do_v i_o confess_v it_o give_v i_o disgust_v even_o to_o hear_v it_o i_o say_v not_o but_o that_o they_o shall_v receive_v these_o spiritual_a delight_n when_o god_n give_v they_o yea_o and_o that_o they_o shall_v esteem_v they_o very_o much_o because_o in_o that_o case_n his_o divine_a majesty_n will_v have_v see_v that_o they_o be_v convenient_a for_o they_o but_o only_o that_o when_o they_o have_v they_o not_o they_o shall_v not_o vex_v themselves_o and_o that_o they_o shall_v also_o understand_v that_o when_o god_n give_v they_o not_o they_o be_v not_o convenient_a for_o they_o but_o that_o they_o ought_v to_o be_v and_o remain_v the_o lord_n of_o themselves_o in_o all_o thing_n let_v they_o believe_v that_o this_o be_v a_o defect_n and_o fault_n in_o they_o for_o i_o have_v see_v and_o try_v it_o let_v they_o believe_v that_o this_o be_v a_o imperfection_n and_o that_o it_o be_v not_o to_o walk_v on_o with_o liberty_n of_o spirit_n but_o rather_o like_o weak_a and_o cowardly_a people_n who_o dare_v not_o set_v upon_o difficulty_n and_o i_o say_v not_o this_o so_o much_o for_o they_o who_o be_v but_o beginner_n though_o yet_o i_o press_v it_o so_o far_o because_o it_o import_v very_o much_o that_o they_o begin_v with_o this_o liberty_n of_o spirit_n and_o resolution_n but_o even_o for_o other_o also_o for_o there_o be_v many_o who_o have_v already_o begin_v and_o yet_o who_o never_o in_o fine_a resolve_v upon_o do_v herein_o home_n what_o they_o ought_v and_o i_o believe_v that_o this_o proceed_v in_o great_a part_n from_o their_o not_o resolve_v to_o take_v up_o and_o carry_v this_o cross_n from_o the_o very_a beginning_n for_o such_o shall_v go_v on_o still_o afflict_v as_o conceave_a that_o all_o that_o be_v nothing_o which_o they_o do_v because_o when_o the_o understanding_n gives-ove_a to_o work_v and_o act_n they_o use_v not_o to_o be_v able_a to_o endure_v it_o and_o yet_o perhaps_o they_o will_v grow_v even_o fat_a and_o strong_a at_o the_o very_a self_n same_o time_n though_o themselves_o understand_v it_o not_o to_o be_v so_o we_o be_v to_o think_v and_o know_v that_o our_o lord_n do_v not_o consider_v and_o care_n for_o these_o thing_n for_o howsoever_o ourselves_o may_v think_v that_o they_o be_v fault_n yet_o they_o be_v not_o so_o indeed_o and_o his_o divine_a majesty_n know_v our_o misery_n and_o base_a condition_n much_o better_o than_o ourselves_o and_o consider_v that_o these_o soul_n desire_v to_o be_v think_v always_o upon_o he_o and_o that_o they_o desire_v to_o love_v he_o and_o this_o be_v that_o firm_a purpose_n which_o he_o value_v and_o expect_v at_o our_o hand_n but_o that_o other_o be_v but_o a_o affliction_n which_o we_o bring_v upon_o ourselves_o for_o it_o serve_v but_o to_o disquiet_v the_o soul_n and_o to_o give_v occasion_n that_o if_o before_o it_o be_v unable_a to_o take_v any_o benefit_n by_o serve_v god_n for_o one_o hour_n it_o may_v now_o be_v so_o for_o four_o and_o many_o time_n for_o i_o have_v very_o great_a experience_n of_o this_o case_n and_o know_v it_o to_o be_v true_a because_o i_o have_v both_o consider_v it_o with_o care_n and_o have_v also_o treat_v about_o it_o with_o spiritual_a person_n this_o grow_v even_o from_o our_o corporal_a indisposition_n for_o we_o be_v so_o very_o total_o infirm_a that_o this_o poor_a little_a wretched_a soul_n of_o we_o participate_v in_o the_o misery_n of_o the_o body_n and_o even_o the_o alteration_n of_o the_o weather_n and_o the_o revolution_n of_o their_o own_o natural_a humour_n be_v many_o time_n the_o occasion_n why_o without_o even_o any_o fault_n of_o their_o own_o they_o can_v well_o do_v even_o what_o they_o will_v but_o be_v fain_o to_o suffer_v thus_o in_o all_o kind_n and_o when_o they_o strive_v to_o force_v themselves_o in_o these_o coniuncture_n of_o time_n it_o prove_v to_o be_v so_o much_o the_o worse_o with_o they_o and_o the_o inconvenience_n will_v last_v so_o much_o the_o long_o but_o discretion_n must_v be_v use_v herein_o to_o weigh_v when_o this_o effect_n proceed_v from_o this_o cause_n and_o they_o must_v not_o oppress_v and_o stifle_v this_o poor_a soul_n but_o understand_v and_o consider_v that_o it_o be_v sick_a let_v the_o hour_n of_o prayer_n in_o god_n name_n be_v change_v yea_o and_o many_o time_n it_o will_v be_v fit_a to_o do_v so_o for_o some_o day_n and_o let_v they_o pass_v through_o this_o bannishment_n of_o they_o as_o well_o as_o they_o can_v since_o it_o be_v misfortune_n and_o misery_n enough_o for_o a_o soul_n which_o do_v indeed_o love_v almighty_a god_n to_o see_v that_o she_o live_v in_o so_o great_a misery_n and_o that_o she_o be_v no_o way_n able_a to_o do_v even_o what_o herself_o desire_v in_o regard_n that_o she_o be_v lodge_v with_o so_o untoward_a and_o ill_o a_o host_n as_o this_o body_n be_v i_o say_v this_o be_v to_o be_v do_v with_o discretion_n because_o sometime_o the_o devil_n will_v be_v a_o cause_n of_o these_o thing_n and_o therefore_o it_o be_v good_a neither_o always_o to_o leave_v the_o usual_a &_o set_a time_n of_o prayer_n whensoever_o there_o may_v be_v great_a disturbance_n and_o distraction_n in_o the_o understanding_n nor_o yet_o always_o to_o stand_v torment_v the_o soul_n towards_o the_o make_n it_o do_v more_o than_o it_o can_v there_o be_v also_o other_o exterior_a work_n of_o charity_n &_o of_o read_v also_o which_o may_v be_v use_v though_o yet_o sometime_o the_o soul_n will_v not_o be_v so_o much_o as_o fit_a even_o for_o that_o but_o in_o that_o case_n let_v the_o mind_n be_v even_o subject_a as_o it_o be_v to_o the_o body_n for_o the_o love_n of_o almighty_a god_n since_o many_o other_o time_n the_o body_n serve_v the_o soul_n and_o let_v the_o party_n in_o such_o case_n take_v the_o entertainment_n and_o pastime_n of_o conversation_n with_o other_o so_o that_o it_o be_v holy_a or_o divert_v himself_o with_o go_v a_o little_a abroad_o to_o take_v the_o air_n as_o the_o ghostly_a father_n shall_v advise_v for_o experience_n be_v a_o great_a schoolmistress_n in_o all_o thing_n towards_o the_o give_v any_o one_o to_o understand_v what_o may_v be_v fit_a and_o almighty_a god_n be_v serve_v in_o all_o this_o business_n for_o his_o yoke_n be_v sweet_a and_o it_o be_v a_o thing_n of_o much_o importance_n that_o the_o soul_n be_v not_o servile_o drag_v as_o one_o may_v say_v but_o that_o it_o be_v carry_v sweet_o on_o towards_o the_o receive_n of_o more_o benefit_n and_o profit_n so_o that_o i_o advise_v again_o and_o again_o for_o though_o i_o say_v it_o often_o it_o will_v do_v no_o hurt_n because_o the_o matter_n import_v so_o much_o that_o no_o body_n be_v to_o afflict_v nor_o oppress_v himself_o either_o through_o dryness_n or_o disquiet_v or_o distraction_n of_o thought_n nor_o yet_o to_o go_v up_o and_o down_o with_o any_o such_o kind_n of_o tribulation_n if_o they_o pretend_v to_o gain_v liberty_n of_o spirit_n but_o let_v he_o once_o begin_v not_o to_o be_v in_o such_o a_o fright_n upon_o the_o sight_n of_o the_o cross_n and_o he_o shall_v see_v how_o our_o bless_a lord_n will_v help_v he_o to_o bear_v it_o and_o what_o contentment_n he_o will_v grow_v to_o have_v and_o how_o he_o will_v be_v able_a to_o make_v his_o profit_n of_o all_o thing_n for_o already_o we_o may_v sufficient_o perceive_v that_o if_o there_o be_v no_o spring_n of_o water_n in_o the_o well_o we_o know_v not_o how_o to_o put_v any_o there_o true_a it_o be_v that_o we_o must_v by_o no_o mean_n be_v negligent_a and_o careless_a but_o endeavour_v to_o draw_v it_o out_o if_o there_o be_v
continue_v to_o remain_v in_o a_o very_a inferior_a degree_n in_o this_o way_n nor_o never_o also_o any_o one_o cowardly_a soul_n though_o yet_o withal_o it_o have_v the_o safeguard_n of_o humility_n which_o be_v able_a to_o make_v so_o much_o way_n in_o many_o year_n as_o i_o have_v find_v those_o other_o do_v in_o very_a few_o i_o be_o even_o amaze_v when_o i_o consider_v how_o much_o it_o work_v in_o this_o kind_n for_o one_o to_o animate_v himself_o towards_o the_o do_n of_o great_a thing_n though_o instant_o he_o may_v perhaps_o not_o have_v force_n where_o with_o to_o perform_v for_o the_o soul_n put_v herself_o to_o make_v a_o flight_n and_o arrive_v to_o be_v in_o a_o high_a place_n though_o yet_o like_o some_o young_a bird_n she_o be_v not_o so_o well_o feather_v yet_o and_o therefore_o as_o be_v weary_a she_o can_v but_o pause_v and_o hover_v in_o former_a time_n i_o often_o remember_v and_o consider_v what_o s._n paul_n affirm_v of_o himself_o namely_o that_o he_o can_v do_v all_o thing_n in_o god_n who_o comfort_v he_o for_o as_o for_o i_o i_o know_v well_o that_o i_o can_v do_v nothing_o of_o myself_o but_o that_o say_v of_o his_o do_v i_o very_o much_o good_a &_o so_o also_o do_v this_o other_o of_o s._n augustin_n give_v i_o o_o lord_n what_o thou_o command_v and_o then_o command_v i_o what_o thou_o will_v and_o for_o my_o part_n i_o think_v also_o many_o time_n that_o s._n peter_n have_v lose_v nothing_o by_o the_o bargain_n when_o he_o cast_v himself_o headlong_o into_o the_o sea_n though_o yet_o he_o be_v afraid_a afterward_o in_o a_o word_n these_o first_o strong_a purpose_n and_o resolution_n be_v a_o great_a matter_n though_o yet_o in_o this_o first_o degree_n and_o state_n it_o be_v fit_a that_o we_o go_v detain_v ourselves_o and_o hold_v ourselves_o fast_o tie_v to_o the_o discretion_n and_o dispose_v of_o a_o director_n but_o then_o we_o must_v procure_v that_o he_o may_v be_v such_o a_o one_o as_o will_v not_o teach_v we_o to_o leap_v heavy_o and_o dull_o like_o certain_a toad_n nor_o be_v content_a that_o our_o soul_n dispose_v themselves_o to_o hunt_v those_o little_a weak_a beast_n call_v lizard_n only_a humility_n must_v ever_o go_v before_o that_o so_o we_o may_v besure_n to_o understand_v that_o this_o strength_n do_v not_o grow_v from_o ourselves_o but_o here_o it_o will_v be_v necessary_a for_o we_o to_o know_v what_o kind_n of_o humility_n this_o of_o we_o must_v be_v and_o i_o be_o very_o apt_a to_o think_v that_o the_o devil_n do_v much_o hurt_n towards_o the_o make_n such_o as_o exercise_v prayer_n not_o to_o advance_v themselves_o very_o much_o in_o their_o way_n by_o cause_v they_o to_o mis-understand_v humility_n and_o by_o procure_v to_o make_v we_o believe_v that_o it_o be_v but_o a_o kind_n of_o pride_n to_o have_v heroical_a desire_n and_o to_o pretend_v to_o imitate_v saint_n and_o to_o desire_v to_o be_v martyr_n for_o upon_o this_o he_o tell_v we_o and_o make_v we_o think_v that_o the_o action_n of_o 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love_n and_o be_v convey_v by_o almighty_a god_n into_o the_o soul_n how_o small_a and_o poor_a soever_o it_o be_v it_o will_v find_v some_o shift_n or_o other_o to_o make_v a_o mighty_a noise_n and_o if_o the_o soul_n do_v not_o quench_v it_o by_o her_o own_o fault_n this_o prove_v that_o very_a thing_n which_o begin_v to_o make_v a_o huge_a kind_n of_o fire_n and_o send_v forth_o great_a flame_n from_o itself_o as_o i_o shall_v declare_v in_o fit_a place_n of_o that_o mighty_a love_n of_o god_n which_o his_o divine_a majesty_n be_v gracious_o please_v that_o perfect_a soul_n shall_v enjoy_v and_o this_o very_a spark_n be_v a_o certain_a kind_n of_o sign_n and_o even_o pawn_v
soul_n do_v at_o that_o time_n and_o our_o lord_n say_v this_o to_o i_o in_o these_o word_n it_o do_v my_o daughter_n dissolve_v and_o defeat_v itself_o to_o be_v so_o the_o more_o ingulfed_a in_o i_o for_o now_o it_o be_v no_o long_o she_o who_o live_v but_o i_o and_o since_o she_o can_v comprehend_v that_o which_o she_o understand_v her_o very_a understanding_n it_o after_o a_o kind_n of_o moral_a way_n which_o she_o do_v be_v real_o a_o not_o understand_v it_o after_o a_o strict_a &_o comprehensive_a way_n which_o she_o be_v not_o able_a to_o do_v he_o who_o shall_v have_v have_v trial_n of_o this_o by_o experience_n will_v be_v able_a to_o arrive_v to_o the_o expression_n of_o some_o part_n thereof_o but_o as_o for_o i_o i_o can_v deliver_v that_o more_o clear_o which_o pass_v here_o since_o it_o be_v so_o very_o obscure_a i_o can_v only_o say_v that_o in_o this_o case_n their_o be_v then_o so_o close_o to_o almighty_a god_n be_v represent_v to_o they_o and_o there_o remain_v 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favour_n she_o speak_v of_o the_o great_a harm_n which_o will_v arrive_v to_o they_o if_o they_o do_v otherwise_o this_o discourse_n be_v much_o to_o be_v note_v and_o it_o be_v of_o great_a consolation_n for_o weak_a person_n and_o sinner_n the_o soul_n do_v in_o this_o prayer_n and_o union_n remain_v with_o a_o excessive_a kind_n of_o tenderness_n in_o such_o sort_n that_o she_o will_v feign_v even_o defeat_v and_o dissolve_v herself_o not_o through_o pain_n or_o trouble_v but_o by_o abundance_n of_o tear_n of_o joy_n wherein_o she_o be_v bathe_v without_o so_o much_o as_o feel_v or_o know_v how_o or_o when_o she_o weep_v they_o it_o give_v she_o a_o great_a delight_n to_o find_v the_o impetuous_a force_n of_o that_o fire_n appease_v and_o allay_v by_o water_n which_o yet_o make_v it_o increase_v so_o much_o the_o more_o this_o language_n of_o i_o may_v seem_v to_o be_v a_o kind_n of_o gibberish_n but_o yet_o thus_o stand_v the_o case_n it_o have_v happen_v to_o i_o sometime_o when_o i_o be_v in_o this_o part_n of_o this_o prayer_n to_o be_v so_o prayer_n whole_o out_o of_o myself_o as_o that_o i_o know_v not_o whether_o i_o be_v awake_a or_o asleep_o or_o whither_o in_o very_a deed_n i_o have_v be_v in_o that_o glory_n which_o i_o feel_v and_o whether_o it_o be_v true_a that_o i_o be_v indeed_o so_o all_o bathe_v in_o water_n which_o distil_v with_o such_o force_n and_o speed_n from_o my_o eye_n that_o it_o seem_v as_o if_o a_o very_a cloud_n of_o heaven_n have_v rain_v it_o down_o but_o in_o fine_a i_o find_v that_o it_o be_v no_o dream_n this_o happen_v to_o be_v in_o the_o beginning_n of_o this_o prayer_n and_o it_o pass_v quick_o over_o but_o the_o soul_n remain_v so_o courageous_a thereby_o that_o if_o it_o be_v possible_a for_o she_o to_o be_v cut_v into_o a_o thousand_o piece_n for_o god_n sake_n it_o will_v be_v of_o extreme_a consolation_n to_o she_o and_o now_o here_o come_v in_o all_o her_o promise_n her_o heroical_a resolution_n the_o livelie_a efficacy_n of_o her_o desire_n her_o beginning_n to_o abhor_v the_o world_n her_o clear_o discern_v she_o own_o vanity_n and_o all_o this_o much_o more_o perfect_o and_o more_o high_o than_o it_o happen_v in_o any_o of_o her_o former_a prayer_n her_o humility_n be_v also_o grow_v much_o strong_a for_o now_o she_o very_o clear_o discern_v that_o no_o diligence_n at_o all_o of_o her_o own_o be_v any_o piece_n of_o a_o cause_n for_o bring_v she_o that_o excessive_a and_o incomparable_a favour_n nor_o for_o make_v she_o enjoy_v the_o same_o she_o see_v now_o clear_o that_o she_o be_v a_o most_o unworthy_a creature_n for_o in_o any_o room_n where_o there_o enter_v a_o strong_a and_o clear_a sunbeam_n there_o be_v not_o the_o least_o and_o thin_a cobweb_n which_o can_v lie_v hide_v she_o now_o look_v very_o clear_o upon_o her_o own_o misery_n and_o now_o she_o be_v so_o very_o free_a from_o vainglory_n that_o it_o seem_v a_o kind_n of_o impossible_a thing_n for_o she_o to_o have_v any_o because_o now_o already_o she_o have_v it_o even_o in_o her_o very_a eye_n how_o little_a she_o be_v able_a to_o perform_v or_o rather_o in_o very_a deed_n that_o it_o be_v just_o nothing_o at_o all_o and_o that_o in_o this_o case_n there_o be_v hardly_o so_o much_o as_o any_o consent_n of_o she_o but_o that_o it_o seem_v that_o even_o whether_o she_o will_v or_o no_o they_o shut_v the_o gate_n of_o all_o her_o sense_n up_o to_o the_o end_n that_o she_o may_v so_o the_o better_a enjoy_v her_o lord_n and_o that_o now_o since_o she_o remain_v all_o alone_a with_o he_o what_o can_v she_o have_v to_o do_v but_o to_o love_v he_o she_o neither_o can_v see_v nor_o hear_v unless_o she_o be_v make_v to_o do_v so_o as_o it_o be_v by_o very_o strong_a hand_n and_o therefore_o there_o be_v little_a for_o which_o to_o thank_v she_o her_o former_a life_n grow_v then_o to_o be_v represent_v to_o she_o with_o perfect_a truth_n together_o with_o the_o great_a mercy_n of_o almighty_a god_n and_o all_o this_o occurr_n to_o she_o without_o any_o necessity_n at_o all_o that_o her_o understanding_n shall_v now_o go_v hunt_v after_o it_o for_o there_o do_v she_o already_o find_v all_o this_o kind_n of_o food_n ready_a dress_v for_o she_o to_o understand_v and_o eat_v of_o herself_o she_o see_v very_o well_o that_o she_o deserve_v hellfire_n and_o that_o now_o in_o stead_n thereof_o they_o give_v she_o no_o other_o punishment_n than_o glory_n and_o therefore_o she_o do_v now_o even_o consume_v herself_o in_o the_o praise_n of_o almighty_a god_n and_o now_o will_v i_o be_v glad_a even_o to_o consume_v myself_o so_o bless_a be_v thou_o o_o
which_o i_o feel_v to_o be_v so_o very_o great_a yea_o and_o that_o many_o time_n it_o be_v such_o that_o i_o can_v not_o avoid_v it_o though_o yet_o withal_o on_o the_o other_o side_n i_o see_v cause_n of_o very_o great_a security_n that_o it_o be_v god_n especial_o when_o i_o be_v in_o prayer_n and_o i_o find_v also_o that_o i_o be_v much_o better_v by_o it_o and_o still_o remain_v with_o more_o strength_n of_o mind_n towards_o virtue_n but_o yet_o whensoever_o i_o grow_v to_o be_v a_o little_a divert_v i_o return_v again_o to_o fear_n whether_o the_o devil_n may_v not_o have_v a_o mind_n to_o make_v i_o conceive_v that_o it_o be_v good_a for_o i_o to_o suspend_v the_o use_n of_o my_o understanding_n and_o so_o deprive_v myself_o of_o the_o exercise_n of_o mental_a prayer_n and_o that_o i_o may_v not_o be_v able_a to_o think_v upon_o the_o passion_n of_o christ_n our_o lord_n nor_o to_o serve_v myself_o as_o i_o be_v say_v of_o my_o understanding_n part_n which_o seem_v to_o i_o a_o very_a great_a inconvenience_n but_o now_o when_o his_o divine_a majesty_n be_v please_v already_o to_o give_v i_o light_n to_o the_o end_n that_o i_o may_v offend_v he_o no_o more_o and_o may_v also_o grow_v able_a to_o know_v how_o much_o i_o owe_v he_o for_o this_o goodness_n this_o fear_n come_v now_o to_o increase_v in_o such_o sort_n that_o it_o put_v i_o upon_o a_o diligent_a director_n search_n after_o some_o person_n of_o spirit_n with_o who_o i_o may_v communicate_v my_o affair_n and_o already_o i_o have_v get_v notice_n of_o some_o for_o by_o this_o time_n they_o of_o the_o society_n of_o jesus_n be_v come_v hither_o to_o which_o order_n though_o i_o yet_o know_v no_o one_o of_o they_o i_o be_v very_o affectionate_a upon_o the_o only_o reason_n of_o my_o understanding_n what_o kind_n of_o life_n they_o lead_v and_o what_o prayer_n they_o use_v but_o i_o find_v not_o myself_o worthy_a enough_o to_o speak_v with_o they_o nor_o constant_a and_o strong_a enough_o to_o obey_v they_o and_o this_o give_v i_o yet_o great_a fear_n for_o in_o fine_a to_o treat_v with_o they_o and_o yet_o to_o continue_v still_o what_o i_o be_v represent_v itself_o to_o i_o as_o a_o odd_a and_o ill-favoured_a business_n in_o these_o cogitation_n of_o i_o do_v i_o pass_v some_o time_n till_o now_o by_o the_o much_o battery_n which_o i_o make_v upon_o myself_o and_o through_o the_o fear_n to_o which_o still_o i_o be_v subject_a i_o resolve_v to_o treat_v with_o one_o who_o be_v a_o spiritual_a person_n and_o to_o ask_v he_o what_o kind_n of_o prayer_n that_o be_v which_o i_o use_v and_o to_o desire_v he_o to_o give_v i_o light_n if_o he_o find_v i_o to_o be_v in_o error_n and_o i_o resolve_v to_o use_v all_o possible_a diligence_n not_o to_o offend_v almighty_a god_n for_o the_o want_n which_o i_o find_v in_o myself_o of_o courage_n do_v continue_v i_o still_o in_o my_o fear_n o_o my_o dear_a god_n &_o how_o great_a a_o deceit_n and_o error_n be_v this_o in_o i_o to_o separate_v myself_o from_o good_a that_o so_o i_o may_v grow_v to_o be_v good_a the_o devil_n it_o seem_v be_v willing_a to_o labour_n much_o upon_o this_o point_n in_o the_o begin_n of_o our_o aspire_n to_o virtue_n for_o i_o can_v not_o in_o fine_a conquer_v myself_o herein_o he_o well_o know_v that_o the_o mean_n of_o do_v good_a to_o a_o soul_n consist_v in_o that_o she_o resolve_v to_o confer_v in_o particular_a manner_n with_o such_o as_o be_v the_o friend_n of_o almighty_a god_n and_o therefore_o i_o will_v never_o set_v any_o time_n to_o resolve_v upon_o this_o i_o expect_v to_o reform_v myself_o first_o as_o i_o have_v also_o do_v before_o when_o i_o leave_v my_o prayer_n and_o perhaps_o i_o shall_v never_o have_v go_v through_o with_o it_o for_o i_o be_v already_o decline_v so_o low_a towards_o certain_a little_a thing_n of_o ill_a custom_n and_o consequence_n which_o yet_o in_o fine_a i_o will_v not_o conclude_v to_o be_v ill_a that_o i_o be_v in_o need_n to_o be_v assist_v by_o some_o other_o who_o may_v reach_v i_o out_o his_o hand_n to_o raise_v i_o up_o and_o now_o bless_a be_v our_o lord_n for_o in_o fine_a his_o own_o be_v the_o first_o when_o now_o i_o see_v that_o my_o fear_n came-on_a so_o far_o for_o i_o proceed_v and_o increase_v in_o prayer_n i_o concean_v that_o there_o be_v either_o some_o great_a good_a or_o else_o some_o excessive_a mischief_n involue_v in_o it_o for_o already_o i_o understand_v very_o well_o that_o it_o be_v a_o supernatural_a advantage_n which_o i_o have_v since_o sometime_o i_o be_v not_o able_a to_o resist_v it_o and_o to_o obtain_v it_o also_o when_o i_o will_v can_v not_o possible_o be_v do_v upon_o this_o i_o grow_v to_o resolve_v that_o there_o will_v be_v no_o remedy_n for_o i_o if_o i_o course_n procure_v nor_o to_o have_v great_a purity_n of_o conscience_n and_o if_o i_o quit_v not_o all_o occasion_n of_o ill_a though_o it_o be_v but_o of_o venial_a sin_n for_o if_o my_o exercise_n of_o prayer_n be_v of_o the_o spirit_n of_o almighty_a god_n the_o benefit_n do_v very_o evident_o appear_v &_o if_o it_o be_v of_o the_o devil_n yet_o he_o can_v do_v i_o no_o hurt_n at_o all_o but_o rather_o will_v be_v put_v to_o sit_v down_o with_o loss_n if_o i_o shall_v procure_v to_o please_v almighty_a god_n and_o not_o offend_v he_o at_o all_o and_o now_o have_v resolve_v upon_o this_o and_o ever_o humble_o pray_v our_o bless_a lord_n that_o he_o will_v assist_v i_o and_o take_v the_o same_o course_n several_a day_n i_o yet_o find_v that_o my_o soul_n have_v not_o strength_n enough_o all_o alone_a to_o go_v through_o with_o the_o obtain_n so_o great_a perfection_n in_o regard_n of_o some_o inclination_n and_o like_v which_o i_o carry_v to_o certain_a thing_n which_o howsoever_o they_o be_v not_o very_o ill_a of_o themselves_o yet_o they_o serve_v the_o turn_n to_o spoil_v all_o they_o tell_v i_o then_o of_o a_o certain_a priest_n in_o this_o place_n who_o be_v a_o learned_a man_n and_o who_o virtue_n and_o good_a life_n our_o lord_n begin_v to_o discover_v to_o the_o world_n and_o i_o procure_v by_o mean_n of_o a_o holy_a saint_n cavallier_n dwell_v in_o the_o same_o place_n to_o acquaint_v myself_o with_o he_o this_o cavalier_n be_v a_o marry_a man_n but_o yet_o lead_v a_o life_n so_o very_o full_a of_o example_n and_o virtue_n and_o he_o be_v of_o so_o great_a prayer_n and_o charity_n that_o his_o perfection_n shine_v bright_o in_o the_o eye_n of_o all_o man_n and_o with_o much_o reason_n in_o regard_n of_o the_o great_a good_a which_o be_v grow_v to_o many_o soul_n by_o his_o mean_n as_o also_o by_o his_o great_a talent_n and_o though_o he_o be_v not_o forward_v a_o whitt_n by_o any_o plenty_n in_o his_o fortune_n yet_o he_o can_v choose_v but_o employ_v the_o mean_n he_o have_v that_o way_n he_o be_v of_o great_a understanding_n and_o of_o a_o excellent_a nature_n his_o conversation_n be_v no_o way_n troublesome_a but_o so_o agreeable_a and_o delight_v full_a together_o with_o his_o be_v just_a and_o holy_a that_o it_o give_v gust_n to_o all_o such_o as_o treat_v with_o he_o he_o ordain_v and_o govern_v all_o thing_n for_o the_o great_a good_a of_o such_o soul_n as_o he_o converse_v with_o and_o seem_v indeed_o to_o have_v no_o other_o endeavour_n or_o aim_n then_o to_o do_v good_a to_o all_o they_o who_o he_o find_v to_o be_v any_o way_n capable_a thereof_o and_o final_o to_o give_v contentment_n to_o all_o now_o this_o holy_a and_o bless_a man_n do_v i_o esteem_v to_o have_v by_o his_o industry_n and_o charity_n lay_v the_o foundation_n for_o the_o salvation_n of_o my_o soul_n and_o i_o be_o confund_v to_o think_v of_o his_o humility_n in_o that_o he_o will_v be_v content_a to_o see_v i_o for_o there_o be_v as_o i_o conceive_v little_o less_o than_o forty_o year_n wherein_o he_o have_v exercise_v mental_a prayer_n they_o may_v perhaps_o be_v few_o by_o two_o or_o three_o year_n and_o he_o lead_v his_o life_n with_o all_o that_o perfection_n which_o his_o condition_n and_o state_n may_v seem_v to_o permit_v he_o have_v a_o wife_n who_o be_v so_o great_a a_o servant_n of_o almighty_a god_n and_o a_o woman_n so_o full_a of_o charity_n that_o he_o lose_v nothing_o at_o all_o by_o possess_v she_o in_o a_o word_n he_o choose_v she_o for_o such_o a_o kind_n of_o wife_n as_o who_o almighty_a god_n know_v to_o be_v fit_a for_o so_o great_a a_o servant_n of_o he_o some_o of_o his_o kindred_n be_v marry_v to_o some_o kinswoeman_n of_o i_o and_o beside_o i_o be_v also_o acquaint_v with_o another_o great_a servant_n of_o god_n who_o be_v
distinct_a and_o clear_a that_o not_o one_o single_a syllable_n of_o all_o that_o which_o be_v say_v can_v be_v lose_v and_o yet_o these_o thing_n happen_v sometime_o when_o the_o understanding_n and_o indeed_o the_o whole_a soul_n be_v in_o so_o great_a distraction_n &_o disorder_n that_o it_o will_v never_o be_v able_a to_o hit_v right_a in_o the_o frame_n of_o one_o little_a piece_n of_o good_a discourse_n but_o she_o find_v in_o this_o other_o way_n certain_a great_a and_o weighty_a sentence_n which_o be_v impart_v to_o she_o so_o strange_o well_o order_v and_o dress_v that_o though_o she_o be_v never_o so_o deep_o recollect_v she_o be_v not_o able_a to_o reach_v they_o and_o yet_o at_o the_o very_a first_o word_n thereof_o as_o i_o be_v say_v they_o begin_v to_o make_v a_o total_a mutation_n of_o her_o soul_n and_o especial_o if_o she_o be_v bring_v into_o rapt_v when_o the_o power_n of_o the_o soul_n be_v suspend_v how_o shall_v those_o thing_n ever_o come_v to_o be_v 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to_o allow_v so_o much_o time_n to_o the_o understanding_n as_o may_v serve_v for_o the_o compose_n of_o these_o reason_n for_o in_o fine_a there_o must_v be_v time_n for_o that_o but_o now_o in_o this_o other_o way_n we_o remain_v instruct_v without_o any_o loss_n of_o time_n at_o all_o yea_o and_o we_o grow_v to_o understand_v certain_a thing_n at_o a_o instant_n when_o yet_o otherwise_o a_o month_n will_v have_v be_v time_n little_a enough_o to_o ordain_v they_o yea_o and_o the_o understanding_n remain_v no_o less_o than_o amaze_v at_o some_o thing_n which_o we_o understand_v this_o be_v the_o very_a truth_n and_o whosoever_o
and_o so_o make_v those_o wretch_n tremble_v for_o already_o we_o know_v well_o enough_o that_o the_o devil_n be_v not_o able_a to_o stir_v unless_o our_o lord_n permit_v he_o what_o then_o may_v be_v the_o ground_n of_o all_o these_o disorder_n it_o be_v certain_o that_o i_o be_o more_o afraid_a of_o they_o who_o be_v so_o fright_v by_o the_o devil_n then_o of_o the_o devil_n himself_o for_o he_o be_v utter_o unable_a to_o do_v i_o hurt_v whereas_o these_o other_o especial_o if_o they_o be_v ghostly_a father_n may_v put_v soul_n to_o much_o disquiet_n and_o for_o my_o part_n i_o have_v pass_v some_o year_n through_o so_o great_a trouble_n that_o now_o i_o be_o even_o amaze_v to_o consider_v how_o i_o have_v be_v able_a to_o endure_v it_o but_o bless_v be_v our_o lord_n who_o have_v assist_v i_o in_o so_o good_a earnest_n amen_n the_o six_o and_o twenty_o chapter_n she_o prosecute_v the_o same_o discourse_n and_o go_v relate_v and_o declare_v such_o thing_n as_o happen_v to_o she_o 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understand_v this_o benefit_n as_o now_o i_o do_v but_o i_o often_o beseech_v our_o lord_n to_o bestow_v of_o this_o water_n upon_o i_o and_o always_o i_o have_v the_o image_n or_o figure_n of_o it_o at_o hand_n with_o this_o motto_n or_o word_n of_o she_o when_o he_o be_v so_o near_o the_o well_o domine_fw-la da_fw-la mihi_fw-la hanc_fw-la aquam_fw-la o_o lord_n bestow_v this_o water_n upon_o i_o it_o seem_v also_o to_o i_o that_o as_o a_o fire_n which_o be_v very_o great_a needs_o matter_n upon_o which_o to_o work_v to_o the_o end_n that_o it_o may_v not_o be_v extinguish_v so_o also_o for_o
it_o say_v he_o this_o can_v grow_v but_o from_o one_o of_o these_o two_o occasion_n namely_o that_o either_o it_o be_v because_o they_o will_v murmur_v against_o you_o orel_n for_o that_o they_o will_v praise_v and_o magnifye_v i_o mean_v that_o they_o who_o shall_v believe_v it_o will_v praise_v he_o and_o they_o who_o shall_v not_o believe_v it_o will_v condemn_v i_o though_o yet_o without_o any_o fault_n at_o all_o of_o i_o but_o he_o say_v that_o both_o those_o thing_n will_v prove_v to_o be_v of_o advantage_n to_o i_o and_o that_o therefore_o i_o must_v no_o long_o be_v trouble_v at_o it_o this_o quiet_v i_o very_o much_o then_o and_o it_o also_o comfort_v i_o now_o whensoever_o i_o call_v it_o to_o mind_n this_o temptation_n come_v on_o so_o far_o that_o it_o give_v i_o a_o inclination_n to_o quit_v this_o place_n and_o to_o carry_v my_o fortune_n with_o i_o to_o another_o monastery_n which_o be_v very_o much_o more_o enclose_v and_o shut_v up_o then_o that_o wherein_o i_o be_v for_o the_o present_a and_o i_o like_v it_o also_o the_o rather_o for_o that_o i_o have_v hear_v it_o extreme_o praise_v many_o way_n and_o beside_o it_o be_v a_o house_n of_o my_o own_o order_n yea_o and_o also_o very_o far_o off_o from_o my_o former_a abode_n and_o it_o be_v a_o thing_n which_o will_v have_v comfort_v i_o much_o to_o remain_v where_o i_o be_v utter_o unknown_a but_o my_o ghostly_a father_n will_v never_o permit_v it_o these_o fear_n do_v much_o deprive_v i_o of_o liberty_n of_o spirit_n but_o i_o come_v to_o understand_v afterward_o that_o it_o be_v no_o good_a humility_n since_o it_o give_v i_o such_o a_o deal_n of_o disquiet_n and_o our_o lord_n upon_o that_o occasion_n teach_v i_o this_o truth_n that_o if_o indeed_o indeed_o i_o be_v resolve_v and_o assure_v that_o nothing_o at_o all_o of_o i_o be_v good_a but_o that_o it_o be_v all_o of_o god_n it_o will_v follow_v that_o just_a so_o as_o i_o will_v not_o be_v sorry_a to_o hear_v other_o person_n praise_v but_o rather_o will_v be_v great_o comfort_v and_o joy_v that_o our_o lord_n do_v show_v himself_o in_o they_o so_o neither_o will_v i_o be_v sorry_a that_o his_o work_n may_v be_v also_o see_v in_o i_o i_o fall_v also_o upon_o another_o extreme_a and_o it_o be_v to_o beg_v of_o almighty_a god_n yea_o and_o i_o make_v particular_a prayer_n to_o this_o purpose_n that_o when_o by_o accident_n any_o person_n shall_v enter_v into_o good_a opinion_n of_o i_o his_o divine_a majesty_n will_v be_v please_v to_o declare_v my_o sin_n to_o he_o to_o the_o end_n that_o the_o man_n may_v see_v how_o absolute_o without_o any_o merit_n of_o i_o it_o please_v our_o b._n lord_n to_o do_v i_o favour_n and_o this_o do_v i_o ever_o much_o desire_n though_o my_o ghostly_a father_n have_v command_v i_o it_o not_o to_o ask_v it_o but_o hitherto_o till_o very_o late_o if_o i_o chance_v to_o see_v any_o person_n who_o think_v extraordinary_o well_o of_o i_o i_o take_v the_o best_a mean_n i_o can_v find_v by_o some_o devise_n or_o other_o to_o tell_v he_o my_o sin_n and_o thus_o i_o conceive_v myself_o to_o find_v ease_n but_o yet_o hereby_o they_o have_v put_v i_o into_o a_o kind_n of_o scruple_n that_o this_o proceed_v not_o in_o i_o from_o humility_n and_o that_o it_o rather_o grow_v from_o a_o temptation_n in_o regard_n that_o many_o come_v to_o i_o and_o i_o seem_v to_o have_v cozen_v they_o all_o but_o though_o it_o be_v very_o true_a that_o they_o be_v indeed_o deceive_v if_o they_o think_v that_o there_o be_v any_o goodness_n in_o i_o yet_o have_v i_o no_o desire_n at_o all_o to_o deceive_v they_o nor_o do_v i_o ever_o pretend_v any_o such_o thing_n but_o that_o our_o bless_a lord_n may_v have_v perhaps_o permit_v it_o and_o so_o for_o the_o selfsame_a reason_n i_o will_v never_o have_v impart_v any_o private_a accident_n of_o i_o which_o be_v no_o sin_n even_o to_o my_o very_a ghostly_a father_n themselves_o unless_o i_o have_v find_v it_o to_o be_v whole_o necessary_a for_o i_o shall_v otherwise_o have_v have_v much_o scruple_n to_o do_v it_o but_o now_o i_o see_v very_o well_o that_o all_o these_o little_a truth_n fear_n and_o trouble_n &_o superfluity_n of_o ill-grounded_a humility_n do_v savour_n very_o sufficient_o of_o imperfection_n and_o proceed_v from_o the_o immortification_n of_o the_o soul_n for_o to_o a_o soul_n which_o be_v well_o resign_v into_o the_o hand_n of_o almighty_a god_n it_o do_v not_o import_v she_o a_o iott_n more_o that_o they_o shall_v speak_v well_o of_o she_o then_o ill_o if_o once_o she_o understand_v well_o and_o home_n forasmuch_o as_o god_n will_v give_v she_o that_o grace_n that_o she_o have_v nothing_o at_o all_o of_o herself_o but_o let_v she_o confide_v in_o he_o who_o impart_v it_o and_o she_o shall_v know_v in_o time_n why_o he_o discover_v it_o and_o in_o the_o mean_a while_n let_v she_o prepare_v herself_o for_o persecution_n for_o it_o will_v most_o certain_o arrive_v in_o such_o a_o age_n as_o this_o upon_o any_o such_o person_n as_o to_o who_o our_o lord_n will_v have_v it_o know_v that_o he_o do_v she_o such_o favour_n as_o these_o for_o upon_o any_o such_o soul_n as_o this_o a_o thousand_o watchful_a eye_n will_v be_v cast_v whereas_o there_o will_v not_o be_v one_o upon_o a_o whole_a thousand_o of_o such_o other_o soul_n as_o be_v of_o a_o contrary_a make_n and_o there_o be_v real_o much_o cause_n to_o fear_v this_o and_o it_o ought_v to_o have_v be_v my_o fear_n that_o the_o other_o be_v truth_n not_o humility_n but_o pusillanimity_n for_o a_o soul_n which_o almighty_a god_n permit_v to_o be_v expose_v thus_o to_o the_o sight_n of_o the_o world_n may_v expect_v to_o be_v a_o martyr_n of_o the_o same_o world_n for_o if_o she_o will_v not_o die_v to_o it_o she_o shall_v die_v by_o it_o for_o my_o part_n i_o real_o see_v nothing_o in_o this_o thing_n call_v world_n which_o seem_v good_a to_o i_o except_o only_o that_o it_o give_v not_o way_n that_o worthy_a and_o good_a people_n shall_v be_v permit_v to_o do_v ill_a without_o be_v murmur_v at_o for_o their_o labour_n and_o by_o this_o mean_n they_o grow_v to_o perfect_v themselves_o but_o there_o be_v need_n of_o more_o fortitude_n and_o courage_n for_o a_o man_n who_o be_v yet_o imperfect_a to_o walke-on_a towards_o a_o way_n of_o perfection_n then_o even_o to_o be_v instant_o make_v a_o martyr_n for_o perfection_n be_v not_o so_o quick_o get_v unless_o it_o be_v by_o some_o such_o person_n as_o to_o who_o our_o bless_a lord_n may_v vouchsafe_v that_o favour_n by_o way_n of_o a_o particular_a privilege_n but_o the_o world_n discern_v once_o that_o a_o man_n begin_v to_o aspire_v to_o do_v well_o will_v needs_o account_v he_o perfect_a at_o a_o instant_n and_o then_o will_v it_o present_o see_v any_o fault_n in_o he_o if_o he_o have_v any_o though_o it_o be_v a_o thousand_o league_n off_o yea_o and_o perhaps_o that_o which_o they_o hold_v to_o be_v a_o fault_n in_o he_o shall_v indeed_o be_v a_o virtue_n and_o the_o other_o who_o condemn_v he_o and_o be_v wont_a peradventure_o to_o do_v the_o selfsame_a thing_n by_o a_o impulse_n of_o vice_n will_v judge_v ill_a of_o it_o in_o another_o so_o that_o according_a to_o his_o dictamen_fw-la that_o other_o man_n shall_v neither_o eat_v nor_o sleep_n nor_o even_o as_o it_o be_v draw_v his_o breath_n and_o the_o more_o also_o they_o esteem_v such_o person_n the_o more_o apt_a be_v they_o to_o forget_v that_o how_o perfect_a soever_o their_o soul_n be_v and_o how_o absolute_o soever_o they_o tread_v the_o whole_a world_n under_o their_o foot_n yet_o still_o they_o be_v in_o the_o body_n and_o live_v upon_o earth_n and_o be_v subject_a to_o the_o misery_n of_o their_o condition_n and_o therefore_o still_o i_o say_v that_o there_o be_v need_n of_o a_o great_a deal_n of_o courage_n because_o such_o man_n have_v a_o mind_n that_o the_o poor_a soul_n which_o have_v not_o yet_o begin_v to_o walk_v shall_v already_o fly_v she_o have_v not_o yet_o overcome_v and_o mortify_v her_o passion_n and_o yet_o these_o man_n will_v needs_o expect_v that_o she_o shall_v remain_v as_o entire_a and_o firm_a as_o they_o have_v read_v of_o saint_n themselves_o after_o they_o be_v confirm_v in_o grace_n the_o particular_n which_o occur_v in_o this_o kind_n be_v to_o give_v a_o man_n cause_n to_o wonder_n and_o withal_o even_o to_o afflict_v we_o to_o the_o hart_n to_o see_v so_o many_o soul_n turn_v back_o again_o which_o know_v not_o poor_a creature_n as_o they_o be_v what_o shift_n to_o make_v for_o themselves_o and_o so_o do_v i_o believe_v that_o i_o have_v also_o do_v if_o our_o
that_o i_o know_v not_o what_o to_o do_v with_o myself_o o_o that_o we_o will_v look_v with_o attention_n upon_o the_o thing_n of_o this_o world_n for_o every_o body_n will_v then_o be_v quick_o able_a to_o find_v by_o experience_n how_o little_a he_o be_v to_o lodge_v either_o his_o contentment_n or_o discontentment_n upon_o it_o it_o be_v most_o certain_a in_o my_o opinion_n that_o this_o be_v one_o of_o the_o feirce_v kind_n of_o fit_n of_o affliction_n that_o ever_o i_o have_v endure_v in_o my_o whole_a life_n and_o it_o seem_v as_o if_o my_o very_a spirit_n have_v half_o prophesy_v how_o much_o do_v still_o rest_v behind_o to_o be_v endure_v though_o yet_o that_o arrive_v not_o so_o far_o as_o this_o if_o it_o have_v continue_v but_o now_o our_o bless_a lord_n do_v not_o permit_v this_o poor_a servant_n of_o he_o to_o suffer_v long_o nor_o do_v he_o ever_o fail_v to_o succour_v i_o in_o my_o tribulation_n nor_o do_v he_o also_o in_o this_o for_o now_o he_o give_v i_o a_o little_a objection_n light_n wherewith_o to_o see_v that_o all_o this_o be_v of_o the_o devil_n and_o that_o i_o may_v discern_v the_o truth_n and_o that_o the_o whole_a business_n be_v but_o to_o put_v i_o into_o a_o fright_n by_o lie_n and_o so_o i_o come_v by_o degree_n to_o call_v to_o mind_n and_o to_o recover_v the_o great_a resolution_n which_o i_o have_v former_o conceive_v towards_o the_o service_n of_o our_o bless_a lord_n as_o also_o my_o desire_n to_o suffer_v for_o he_o and_o so_o i_o grow_v also_o to_o consider_v that_o if_o real_o i_o intend_v to_o fulfil_v they_o i_o be_v not_o to_o busy_v myself_o about_o procure_v rest_n and_o ease_n but_o if_o i_o will_v endure_v affliction_n that_o this_o be_v the_o true_a way_n to_o merit_v and_o that_o if_o i_o will_v goe-through_a with_o they_o for_o the_o service_n of_o almighty_a god_n they_o will_v be_v in_o stead_n of_o purgatory_n for_o i_o &_o of_o what_o be_v i_o afraid_a &_o that_o since_o i_o desire_v affliction_n these_o which_o be_v offer_v now_o will_v be_v very_o fit_a &_o good_a and_o that_o where_o the_o great_a contradiction_n be_v feel_v the_o rich_a gain_n will_v be_v find_v and_o why_o shall_v my_o hart_n fail_v i_o for_o his_o service_n to_o who_o i_o owe_v so_o much_o and_o by_o these_o and_o other_o consideration_n and_o employ_v all_o the_o courage_n i_o have_v i_o make_v a_o promise_n in_o presence_n of_o the_o b._n sacrament_n to_o do_v all_o the_o very_a uttermost_a that_o i_o can_v to_o get_v leave_n to_o come_v to_o this_o monastery_n as_o also_o if_o i_o may_v do_v it_o with_o safe_a conscience_n to_o promise_n clausure_n but_o now_o at_o my_o resolve_v upon_o this_o the_o devil_n flee_v instant_o away_o and_o leave_v i_o very_o quiet_a and_o content_v and_o so_o i_o have_v remain_v ever_o since_o and_o all_o that_o which_o be_v observe_v in_o this_o house_n either_o by_o way_n of_o enclosure_n or_o penance_n in_o any_o kind_n have_v make_v itself_o both_o very_a delightful_a and_o seem_v very_o little_a and_o the_o contentment_n on_o the_o other_o side_n be_v so_o extreme_o great_a that_o i_o be_o think_v several_a time_n if_o i_o be_v able_a to_o find_v any_o thing_n in_o the_o whole_a world_n which_o can_v be_v of_o so_o much_o gust_n to_o i_o as_o this_o i_o know_v not_o also_o whether_o perhaps_o even_o this_o may_v not_o be_v the_o true_a reason_n why_o i_o enjoy_v better_a health_n now_o then_o ever_o or_o else_o that_o perhaps_o our_o lord_n will_v have_v it_o so_o because_o perhaps_o there_o may_v be_v some_o necessary_a use_n thereof_o and_o because_o it_o be_v but_o reason_n that_o i_o shall_v also_o do_v thosething_n which_o be_v perform_v by_o all_o the_o rest_n and_o therefore_o that_o he_o be_v please_v to_o give_v i_o so_o much_o comfort_n as_o to_o be_v able_a to_o do_v it_o though_o yet_o it_o be_v with_o some_o little_a trouble_n but_o certain_o all_o they_o who_o see_v it_o and_o be_v privy_a to_o the_o great_a infirmity_n to_o which_o i_o be_o subject_a be_v amaze_v at_o it_o bless_a be_v our_o lord_n who_o give_v it_o all_o and_o have_v power_n enough_o wherewith_o to_o do_v it_o but_o i_o fail_v not_o in_o the_o mean_a time_n to_o be_v very_o well_o weary_v with_o such_o a_o stiff_a contention_n and_o strife_n as_o this_o though_o yet_o i_o laugh_v at_o the_o devil_n for_o i_o clear_o see_v it_o be_v he_o and_o i_o conceive_v that_o our_o bless_a lord_n will_v permit_v it_o because_o i_o never_o know_v till_o then_o what_o it_o be_v to_o be_v in_o any_o disgust_n for_o be_v a_o religious_a woman_n nor_o do_v i_o ever_o find_v any_o during_o the_o space_n of_o eight_o and_o twenty_o year_n and_o more_o that_o i_o have_v be_v one_o but_o now_o his_o divine_a majesty_n permit_v it_o to_o come_v upon_o i_o to_o the_o end_n that_o i_o may_v the_o better_o understand_v the_o great_a favour_n which_o it_o have_v please_v our_o lord_n to_o do_v i_o in_o that_o state_n yea_o and_o the_o torment_n from_o which_o he_o have_v free_v i_o as_o also_o to_o the_o end_n that_o if_o afterward_o i_o see_v any_o one_o who_o shall_v be_v afflict_v in_o the_o same_o kind_n i_o may_v not_o be_v fright_v at_o it_o but_o may_v both_o have_v compassion_n of_o she_o and_o know_v also_o how_o to_o give_v her_o comfort_n if_o there_o shall_v be_v cause_n but_o now_o have_v pass_v this_o brunt_n and_o be_v desirous_a to_o rest_v a_o little_a when_o i_o shall_v have_v dine_v for_o in_o all_o the_o night_n before_o i_o have_v take_v none_o as_o also_o in_o many_o other_o night_n i_o have_v not_o fail_v of_o care_n and_o trouble_n enough_o when_o yet_o i_o be_v also_o tire_v out_o in_o the_o day_n as_o they_o know_v very_o well_o what_o pass_v not_o only_o in_o the_o monastery_n but_o in_o the_o city_n there_o be_v grow_v to_o be_v a_o great_a deal_n of_o noise_n and_o disquiet_v upon_o the_o occasion_n which_o have_v be_v former_o touch_v yea_o and_o there_o seem_v to_o be_v some_o colour_n for_o the_o same_o just_o then_o the_o prioress_n require_v i_o to_o be_v call_v and_o that_o i_o must_v go_v to_o she_o at_o the_o instant_n and_o meet_v with_o her_o commandment_n i_o leave_v my_o religious_a full_a of_o pain_n and_o care_n and_o so_o instant_o go_v to_o she_o but_o i_o than_o perceive_v well_o that_o i_o be_v to_o be_v sure_a of_o trouble_n enough_o though_o yet_o the_o house_n be_v then_o dispatch_v i_o be_v not_o in_o very_a much_o pain_n howsoever_o i_o betake_v myself_o to_o prayer_n beseech_v our_o bless_a lord_n to_o be_v good_a to_o i_o and_o beg_v of_o my_o father_n s._n joseph_n that_o he_o will_v bring_v i_o back_o again_o to_o his_o house_n and_o in_o the_o mean_a time_n i_o offered-up_a all_o that_o which_o i_o may_v chance_v to_o endure_v for_o his_o sake_n and_o i_o be_v to_o be_v very_o well_o please_v if_o it_o fall_v out_o that_o i_o may_v suffer_v any_o thing_n for_o he_o or_o be_v able_a to_o serve_v he_o and_o so_o i_o go_v away_o with_o opinion_n that_o they_o will_v instant_o commit_v i_o to_o prison_n whereby_o i_o yet_o conceive_v that_o they_o will_v so_o have_v do_v i_o a_o great_a deal_n of_o pleasure_n for_o then_o i_o shall_v not_o have_v be_v vex_v with_o their_o talk_n and_o i_o shall_v have_v enjoy_v a_o little_a solitude_n whereof_o i_o be_v in_o very_o great_a want_n for_o they_o have_v even_o as_o it_o be_v grind_v i_o to_o dust_n by_o force_v i_o to_o converse_v so_o long_o with_o such_o a_o multitude_n of_o people_n but_o be_v then_o arrive_v and_o have_v give_v account_n of_o myself_o to_o the_o superior_a she_o be_v a_o little_a appease_v and_o they_o all_o agree_v to_o send_v i_o to_o the_o provincial_n and_o so_o the_o cause_n be_v to_o depend_v before_o he_o and_o as_o soon_o as_o i_o be_v come_v thither_o for_o judgement_n i_o find_v myself_o with_o much_o contentment_n to_o see_v that_o i_o be_v suffer_v somewhat_o for_o the_o love_n of_o our_o lord_n for_o as_o for_o have_v do_v any_o thing_n either_o against_o his_o divine_a majesty_n or_o yet_o against_o the_o order_n i_o conceive_v not_o that_o i_o have_v offend_v but_o rather_o have_v endeavour_v to_o augment_v it_o to_o the_o uttermost_a of_o my_o power_n and_o will_v be_v glad_a with_o my_o whole_a hart_n to_o die_v for_o it_o for_o all_o my_o desire_n be_v that_o it_o may_v be_v fulfil_v according_a to_o the_o uttermost_a perfection_n but_o in_o the_o mean_a time_n i_o call_v to_o mind_v the_o sentence_n which_o be_v pass_v upon_o christ_n our_o lord_n and_o i_o acknowledge_v what_o a_o nothing_o this_o be_v
in_o respect_n of_o he_o i_o accuse_v myself_o then_o as_o in_o fault_n yea_o and_o as_o very_o faulty_a and_o so_o i_o make_v no_o doubt_n but_o i_o be_v in_o the_o opinion_n of_o all_o they_o who_o know_v not_o very_o much_o of_o the_o cause_n and_o after_o they_o have_v give_v i_o a_o great_a reprehension_n though_o not_o yet_o with_o so_o much_o rigour_n as_o the_o fault_n may_v seem_v to_o deserve_v and_o as_o many_o of_o they_o tell_v the_o provincial_n that_o i_o have_v commit_v i_o be_v absolute_o for_o my_o part_n resolve_v to_o hold_v on_o this_o course_n and_o so_o i_o rather_o desire_v that_o they_o shall_v pardon_v i_o and_o then_o punish_v i_o if_o they_o will_v but_o by_o no_o mean_n remain_v unkind_a or_o ill-affected_a towards_o i_o in_o some_o thing_n i_o plain_o see_v that_o they_o have_v no_o reason_n at_o all_o against_o i_o but_o that_o they_o condemn_v i_o without_o cause_n as_o when_o they_o say_v i_o have_v do_v whatsoever_o i_o have_v do_v to_o the_o end_n that_o i_o may_v be_v hold_v in_o great_a opinion_n and_o to_o be_v talk_v of_o and_o such_o other_o toy_n as_o that_o but_o in_o other_o i_o see_v clear_o that_o they_o say_v true_a as_o namely_o that_o i_o be_v much_o worse_o than_o the_o rest_n and_o that_o since_o i_o have_v not_o keep_v the_o observance_n of_o that_o house_n which_o be_v maintain_v with_o so_o much_o piety_n and_o devotion_n there_o how_o can_v i_o come_v to_o think_v of_o perform_v another_o rule_n of_o more_o rigour_n and_o that_o this_o be_v but_o to_o raiseup_a novelty_n in_o the_o world_n and_o to_o scandalize_v the_o people_n but_o yet_o all_o this_o cause_v no_o tumult_n in_o my_o hart_n nor_o put_v i_o to_o any_o pain_n at_o all_o though_o yet_o i_o show_v to_o be_v in_o some_o lest_o otherwise_o they_o may_v conceive_v that_o i_o undervalue_v what_o they_o say_v but_o in_o fine_a the_o provincial_n command_v i_o to_o give_v account_n of_o myself_o to_o they_o of_o the_o former_a monastery_n and_o that_o i_o must_v necessary_o do_v it_o and_o so_o be_v at_o great_a peace_n within_o myself_o and_o our_o lord_n assist_v i_o therein_o i_o give_v such_o a_o discharge_n of_o my_o action_n as_o that_o neither_o the_o provincial_n nor_o the_o religious_a woman_n who_o be_v in_o that_o assembly_n find_v any_o thing_n for_o which_o to_o condemn_v i_o after_o this_o i_o speak_v more_o plain_o to_o he_o in_o private_a and_o i_o do_v it_o also_o more_o at_o large_a and_o he_o be_v very_o well_o satisfy_v with_o i_o and_o promise_v i_o that_o if_o the_o city_n shall_v proceed_v towards_o a_o be_v quiet_a again_o he_o will_v give_v i_o leave_v to_o go_v to_o my_o monastery_n but_o the_o disorder_n and_o distemper_n of_o the_o city_n be_v so_o very_o great_a as_o i_o shall_v now_o declare_v within_o two_o or_o three_o day_n after_o that_o time_n the_o governor_n and_o other_o magistrate_n of_o the_o town_n and_o some_o also_o of_o the_o chapter_n of_o the_o cathedral_n church_n meet_v together_o and_o they_o all_o declare_v joint_o that_o by_o no_o mean_n they_o must_v permit_v the_o work_n to_o go_v forward_o that_o it_o will_v result_v to_o the_o evident_a disadvantage_n of_o the_o commonwealth_n that_o they_o must_v not_o fail_v to_o remove_v the_o b._n sacrament_n from_o thence_o and_o by_o no_o mean_n permit_v the_o business_n to_o proceed_v one_o only_o doctor_n of_o s._n dominick_n order_n although_o he_o be_v of_o a_o contrary_a opinion_n to_o we_o i_o mean_v not_o in_o that_o point_n of_o the_o monastery_n but_o in_o that_o other_o of_o be_v incapable_a of_o revenue_n and_o poor_a say_v that_o there_o be_v no_o cause_n why_o the_o house_n shall_v instant_o be_v dissolve_v after_o that_o manner_n but_o that_o it_o ought_v to_o be_v well_o consider_v that_o there_o will_v be_v time_n enough_o for_o this_o that_o it_o be_v a_o case_n which_o belong_v to_o the_o bishop_n and_o diverse_a other_o thing_n of_o this_o kind_n which_o do_v very_o much_o good_a to_o the_o business_n for_o consider_v how_o great_a the_o fury_n of_o the_o people_n be_v it_o be_v happy_a that_o they_o do_v not_o put_v the_o dissolve_v of_o the_o house_n present_o in_o execution_n and_o this_o show_v that_o the_o thing_n in_o fine_a be_v to_o take_v effect_n and_o that_o our_o bless_a lord_n be_v please_v to_o have_v it_o so_o and_o that_o they_o all_o can_v do_v little_a against_o his_o will_n and_o pleasure_n but_o yet_o they_o all_o assign_v their_o reason_n and_o express_v good_a zeal_n in_o what_o they_o say_v and_o yet_o thus_o without_o their_o give_a offence_n to_o almighty_a god_n they_o make_v both_o i_o and_o diverse_a other_o suffer_v who_o favour_v the_o business_n the_o tumultuous_a disposition_n of_o the_o people_n be_v so_o great_a that_o now_o there_o be_v no_o talk_n of_o any_o thing_n else_o and_o they_o all_o agree_v in_o condemn_v i_o and_o in_o go_v to_o complain_v of_o i_o to_o the_o provincial_n and_o to_o my_o monastery_n as_o for_o i_o i_o be_v no_o more_o trouble_v at_o what_o they_o say_v then_o if_o they_o have_v not_o say_v it_o but_o the_o only_o fear_v i_o have_v be_v whether_o or_o no_o they_o will_v dissolve_v the_o house_n for_o this_o put_v i_o to_o a_o great_a deal_n of_o pain_n and_o so_o also_o do_v it_o to_o see_v that_o the_o person_n who_o assist_v i_o lose_v credit_n and_o be_v otherwise_o also_o put_v to_o much_o inconvenience_n by_o it_o but_o as_o for_o that_o which_o they_o say_v of_o i_o i_o be_v rather_o glad_v of_o it_o than_o otherwise_o and_o if_o i_o have_v have_v any_o faith_n it_o will_v have_v make_v no_o alteration_n in_o i_o at_o all_o but_o when_o there_o be_v a_o want_n in_o some_o one_o virtue_n all_o the_o rest_n be_v wont_a to_o be_v cast_v into_o a_o kind_n of_o slumber_n and_o so_o i_o be_v much_o trouble_v during_o those_o two_o day_n wherein_o the_o two_o assembly_n whereof_o i_o speak_v be_v make_v among_o the_o people_n and_o i_o be_v very_o much_o afflict_v our_o lord_n say_v these_o word_n to_o i_o do_v thou_o not_o know_v that_o i_o be_o powerful_a of_o what_o be_v thou_o afraid_a and_o thus_o do_v he_o assure_v i_o that_o the_o house_n shall_v not_o be_v dissolve_v whereby_o i_o remain_v full_a of_o comfort_n but_o then_o do_v they_o dispatch_v their_o agent_n or_o sollicitour_n to_o the_o council_n royal_a with_o their_o information_n and_o so_o there_o come_v order_n from_o thencÄ—_n to_o send_v a_o relation_n thither_o of_o the_o whole_a proceed_n so_o that_o heet_n we_o may_v behold_v the_o beginning_n of_o a_o great_a suit_n in_o law_n for_o already_o some_o be_v go_v to_o the_o court_n on_o the_o part_n of_o the_o city_n &_o other_o be_v instant_o to_o go_v on_o the_o part_n of_o the_o monastery_n and_o on_o the_o other_o side_n neither_o have_v we_o any_o money_n nor_o do_v i_o know_v what_o to_o do_v but_o our_o lord_n provide_v all_o thing_n for_o us._n and_o as_o for_o i_o my_o father_n provincial_a do_v never_o forbid_v i_o to_o deal_v in_o it_o for_o he_o be_v so_o true_a a_o friend_n to_o all_o virtue_n that_o although_o he_o do_v not_o assist_v in_o the_o work_n yet_o he_o will_v not_o be_v against_o it_o though_o yet_o withal_o it_o be_v very_o true_a that_o he_o will_v never_o give_v i_o leave_v to_o pass_v to_o this_o new_a monastery_n till_o he_o may_v see_v what_o kind_n of_o end_n the_o business_n will_v have_v in_o the_o mean_a time_n the_o servant_n of_o god_n be_v all_o alone_a and_o do_v more_o with_o their_o prayer_n than_o all_o that_o which_o i_o be_v able_a to_o do_v by_o way_n of_o negotiation_n though_o yet_o still_o it_o be_v necessary_a to_o use_v diligence_n enough_o sometime_o it_o will_v seem_v that_o all_o be_v want_v and_o especial_o one_o day_n before_o the_o provincial_n come_v hither_o when_o the_o prioress_n command_v i_o not_o to_o treat_v any_o more_o about_o that_o business_n but_o to_o give_v it_o utter_o over_o but_o than_o go_v i_o to_o almighty_a god_n and_o say_v o_o my_o lord_n this_o house_n be_v not_o i_o but_o it_o be_v make_v for_o thou_o and_o now_o there_o be_v no_o creature_n to_o negotiate_v the_o business_n for_o we_o and_o therefore_o thy_o divine_a majesty_n must_v be_v please_v to_o do_v it_o heerupon_o i_o find_v myself_o real_o and_o instant_o at_o so_o great_a ease_n and_o so_o without_o any_o manner_n of_o trouble_n as_o if_o i_o have_v have_v the_o whole_a world_n on_o my_o side_n to_o employ_v itself_o for_o i_o and_o so_o i_o hold_v all_o the_o business_n to_o be_v in_o safety_n upon_o this_o a_o certain_a priest_n a_o very_a great_a servant_n of_o
near_o they_o with_o hallow_v candle_n candle_n a_o excellent_a advice_n take_v heed_n of_o this_o great_a danger_n danger_n consider_v this_o point_n much_o and_o often_o often_o note_v this_o good_a conclusion_n upon_o the_o praemise_n praemise_n note_v this_o very_o well_o for_o nothing_o import_v more_o they_o this_o this_o a_o great_a and_o gross_a error_n error_n a_o point_n of_o very_o great_a importance_n importance_n note_n note_n this_o be_v the_o beginning_n of_o many_o great_a blessing_n blessing_n her_o entrance_n into_o the_o receave_n supernatural_a favour_n favour_n it_o work_n not_o indeed_o by_o way_n of_o use_v discourse_n or_o make_v inference_n but_o yet_o it_o work_v by_o way_n of_o contemplation_n and_o admiration_n of_o the_o infinite_a object_n be_v god_n who_o be_v set_v before_o it_o it_o note_n note_n a_o great_a &_o foolish_a error_n error_n behold_v here_o the_o true_a &_o great_a impediment_n impediment_n this_o saint_n be_v admirable_a in_o all_o the_o comparison_n which_o the_o use_n use_n this_o be_v a_o kind_n of_o engine_n with_o certain_a little_a leather_n bucket_n fasten_v to_o the_o side_n of_o a_o very_a great_a wheel_n which_o dra_n be_v up_o very_o much_o water_n with_o great_a ease_n in_o spanish_a it_o be_v call_v a_o noria_n noria_n a_o good_a lesson_n lesson_n a_o consideration_n of_o much_o comfort_n comfort_n a_o hard_a question_n most_o clear_o and_o excellent_o answer_v answer_v mark_v well_o these_o masculine_a and_o massy_a word_n word_n note_n note_n this_o suspending_a of_o the_o thought_n or_o understanding_n of_o which_o the_o saint_n speak_v be_v a_o present_v a_o multitude_n of_o supernatural_a and_o divine_a object_n before_o it_o together_o with_o a_o copious_a infusion_n of_o light_n which_o be_v decern_v by_o it_o after_o a_o kind_n of_o intuitive_a way_n at_o once_o without_o discourse_n or_o trouble_v and_o this_o light_n rest_v not_o there_o but_o passes-on_a to_o the_o will_n and_o grow_n to_o be_v as_o so_o much_o fire_n for_o the_o inflame_a it_o in_o the_o love_n of_o our_o lord_n and_o the_o soul_n do_v more_o proper_o suffer_v here_o then_o act_n and_o now_o the_o saint_n give_v great_a warning_n that_o people_n be_v not_o so_o foolish_a as_o to_o offer_v at_o these_o thing_n of_o themselves_o a_o great_a truth_n truth_n a_o dangerous_a &_o proud_n foolish_a error_n error_n observe_v the_o generous_a way_n of_o this_o great_a saint_n saint_n note_v this_o very_a well_o well_o a_o great_a praise_n of_o a_o large_a hart_n hart_n how_o saint_n be_v to_o be_v imitate_v &_o how_o admire_v admire_v note_v this_o well_o well_o a_o necessary_a advice_n advice_n our_o daily_a bread_n bread_n a_o description_n of_o a_o good_a director_n in_o matter_n of_o spirit_n spirit_n note_n note_n how_o the_o will_n be_v to_o carry_v itself_o to_o the_o other_o faculty_n of_o the_o mind_n mind_n the_o blessing_n of_o quiet_a prayer_n prayer_n note_n note_n note_n note_n how_o the_o soul_n be_v to_o carry_v itself_o in_o quiet_a prayer_n prayer_n note_n note_n a_o true_a &_o happy_a comparison_n comparison_n the_o good_a spirit_n very_o easy_o discern_v from_o the_o bad_a bad_a note_v this_o point_n above_o all_o all_o a_o most_o necessary_a document_n document_n a_o great_a blessing_n by_o mean_n of_o this_o prayer_n prayer_n these_o be_v the_o more_o generous_a mind_n mind_n as_o when_o one_o be_v die_v die_v this_o be_v a_o admirable_a state_n of_o mind_n mind_n the_o true_a state_n of_o the_o power_n of_o the_o mind_n in_o this_o prayer_n how_o there_o be_v a_o union_n in_o this_o prayer_n &_o how_o there_o be_v none_o none_o the_o great_a effect_n of_o this_o high_a prayer_n prayer_n the_o difference_n betweme_v elevation_n and_o union_n union_n she_o proceed_v in_o declare_v the_o great_a effect_n of_o this_o high_a prayer_n prayer_n a_o consideration_n of_o strange_a comfort_n comfort_n this_o be_v strange_a indeed_o indeed_o the_o strong_a pillar_n of_o prayer_n prayer_n consider_v this_o very_a well_o well_o take_v heed_n heed_n a_o most_o dangerous_a temptation_n temptation_n consider_v and_o admire_v this_o passage_n passage_n the_o manner_n &_o nature_n of_o rapt_n rapt_n the_o effect_n of_o rapt_n rapt_n the_o strange_a state_n of_o mind_n which_o perhaps_o be_v describe_v in_o the_o whole_a book_n book_n the_o effect_n of_o rapt_n rapt_n this_o saint_n it_o admirable_a in_o her_o comparison_n comparison_n other_o great_a effect_n of_o true_a rapt_n rapt_n her_o great_a zeal_n for_o the_o conversion_n of_o king_n king_n she_o allude_v to_o comet_n and_o blaze_a star_n star_n a_o rare_a expression_n expression_n anopinion_n which_o be_v more_o probable_a then_o true_a true_a this_o seem_v to_o have_v be_v a_o foolish_a and_o ill-favoured_a kind_n of_o error_n in_o those_o other_o other_o that_o be_v by_o several_a vision_n vision_n a_o sweet_a and_o just_a complaint_n and_o worthy_a of_o the_o saint_n who_o make_v it_o it_o by_o vision_n vision_n believe_v and_o consider_v this_o most_o certain_a truth_n truth_n a_o doubt_n which_o can_v easy_o be_v solue_v solue_v she_o grow_n now_o to_o make_v serious_a enquiry_n after_o a_o good_a director_n director_n the_o only_a excellent_a course_n course_n this_o holy_a man_n enter_v often_o into_o the_o story_n of_o our_o saint_n saint_n this_o be_v no_o improbable_a opinion_n though_o it_o be_v no_o true_a one_o one_o so_o good_a a_o begin_n be_v almost_o a_o kind_n of_o perfect_v the_o work_n work_n the_o saint_n begann_v here_o to_o be_v happy_a happy_a this_o be_v a_o wise_a man_n &_o likely_a to_o work_n wonder_v upon_o a_o soul_n soul_n he_o lose_v nothing_o by_o leave_v to_o be_v a_o duke_n for_o god_n sake_n sake_n this_o must_v needs_o have_v be_v a_o holy_a and_o a_o wise_a man_n man_n a_o little_a of_o this_o go_v far_o far_o so_o true_a it_o be_v that_o god_n be_v god_n god_n the_o mighty_a force_n and_o power_n of_o any_o one_o supernatural_a word_n word_n the_o infinite_a difference_n betweme_v supernatural_a word_n of_o god_n &_o all_o other_o other_o a_o strange_a encounter_n encounter_n great_a power_n of_o our_o lord_n lord_n how_o quick_o she_o get_v courage_n against_o the_o devil_n devil_n a_o most_o certain_a truth_n truth_n this_o be_v a_o very_a ill_a advice_n indeed_o indeed_o the_o incredible_a dear_a sweetness_n of_o our_o b._n lord_n to_o a_o soul_n soul_n observe_v this_o well_o well_o this_o saint_n you_o see_v be_v certain_o no_o protestant_n protestant_n the_o masque_n of_o pride_n pride_n a_o admirable_a example_n of_o penance_n penance_n humane_a frailty_n and_o celestial_a glory_n be_v not_o compatible_a compatible_a imaginary_a vision_n represent_v to_o &_o by_o the_o sense_n be_v of_o the_o low_a rank_n &_o most_o subject_a to_o danger_n danger_n the_o great_a effect_n of_o a_o admirable_a and_o most_o sublime_a vision_n vision_n the_o difference_n be_v easy_o find_v both_o between_v a_o true_a vision_n and_o a_o false_a and_o between_v a_o true_a vision_n and_o a_o fancy_n fancy_n a_o plain_a demonstration_n demonstration_n in_o order_n to_o the_o guide_v of_o other_o a_o director_n may_v easy_o have_v too_o mean_a a_o optnion_n of_o himself_o himself_o this_o saint_n be_v huge_o vex_v by_o the_o insatisfaction_n which_o she_o receive_v from_o many_o spiritual_a man_n man_n this_o be_v very_o fit_a to_o be_v know_v know_v this_o be_v a_o true_a fortiter_fw-la sed_fw-la suaviter_fw-la suaviter_fw-la this_o saint_n be_v most_o strange_o familiar_o and_o supernatural_o visit_v by_o our_o b_o lord_n lord_n a_o strange_a task_n which_o be_v put_v even_o by_o holy_a man_n upon_o this_o saint_n saint_n the_o more_o she_o be_v discountenance_v even_o by_o good_a man_n so_o much_o the_o more_o high_o be_v she_o favour_v by_o our_o lord_n lord_n a_o rare_a comparison_n comparison_n still_o more_o &_o more_o excellent_a comparison_n comparison_n a_o excellent_a &_o most_o necessary_a advice_n advice_n 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have_v continue_v to_o ask_v it_o i_o dare_v say_v our_o lord_n will_v not_o have_v grant_v it_o it_o a_o must_v certain_a truth_n truth_n a_o wise_a &_o solid_a truth_n truth_n exercise_n of_o prayer_n and_o love_n of_o honour_n agree_v not_o well_o together_o together_o this_o be_v not_o to_o be_v literal_o understand_v for_o the_o devil_n can_v prepare_v no_o place_n for_o a_o soul_n in_o hell_n but_o by_o the_o decree_n of_o almighty_a god_n upon_o the_o particular_a judgement_n give_v at_o the_o death_n of_o the_o party_n party_n the_o sin_n of_o ingratitude_n discorrespondence_n and_o inordinate_a affection_n to_o creature_n which_o she_o do_v commit_v and_o the_o great_a and_o mortal_a sin_n which_o she_o will_v most_o certain_o have_v commit_v if_o the_o mercy_n of_o our_o bless_a lord_n have_v not_o prevent_v and_o withhold_v she_o she_o hell_n be_v represent_v to_o she_o in_o spirit_n after_o a_o most_o subtle_a manner_n and_o it_o be_v show_v to_o she_o and_o describe_v by_o she_o in_o such_o sort_n as_o that_o such_o creature_n may_v be_v capable_a thereof_o as_o be_v endue_v not_o only_o with_o mind_n but_o with_o body_n body_n the_o excellent_a fruit_n which_o this_o saint_n do_v gather_v from_o this_o great_a favour_n which_o seem_v to_o be_v the_o sole_a cause_n why_o our_o b._n lord_n be_v please_v to_o impair_v this_o favour_n favour_n the_o great_a benefit_n of_o this_o favour_n favour_n vide_fw-la supra_fw-la fol_n 471._o 471._o a_o sweet_a effect_n of_o a_o sad_a cause_n cause_n a_o sad_a and_o strange_a proceed_n proceed_n how_o one_o suspicion_n u._fw-mi wont_a to_o three_o itself_o close_o upon_o another_o another_o a_o holy_a &_o wise_a man_n man_n all_o these_o thing_n and_o the_o like_a as_o namely_o dart_n or_o chain_n or_o crown_n or_o jewel_n etc._n etc._n be_v not_o to_o be_v understoood_a after_o a_o gross_a &_o material_a way_n but_o yet_o that_o real_o they_o have_v truth_n in_o their_o be_v represent_v distinct_o &_o clear_o to_o the_o imagination_n of_o the_o party_n and_o they_o chief_o serve_v as_o testimony_n &_o sign_n of_o those_o interior_a grace_n &_o virtue_n which_o use_v to_o be_v imprint_v upon_o soul_n at_o those_o very_a time_n by_o the_o mercy_n of_o our_o b._n lord_n lord_n she_o mean_v herself_o herself_o this_o saint_n be_v a_o excellent_a person_n to_o make_v a_o friend_n of_o of_o a_o very_a strange_a demonstration_n of_o a_o most_o civil_a noble_a and_o friendly_a hart_n hart_n our_o bless_a lord_n be_v still_o as_o good_a as_o his_o word_n word_n the_o great_a charity_n &_o humility_n of_o the_o saint_n saint_n how_o devout_a this_o dear_a saint_n be_v be_v they_o be_v very_o noble_a though_o they_o be_v poor_a poor_a the_o devil_n be_v still_o himself_o himself_o this_o be_v such_o a_o kind_n of_o world_n as_o wherein_o thing_n will_v ever_o go_v thus_o thus_o a_o true_a answer_n to_o all_o the_o devil_n objection_n objection_n note_v the_o description_n which_o the_o saint_n make_v here_o of_o her_o religious_a religious_a this_o fast_a of_o the_o order_n be_v not_o so_o strict_a and_o rigorous_a as_o that_o of_o the_o church_n but_o be_v rather_o a_o forbearance_n of_o half_a the_o meal_n than_o a_o fast_a fast_a this_o point_n of_o have_v so_o very_a few_o in_o a_o monastery_n be_v partly_o mean_v for_o they_o who_o be_v to_o live_v in_o any_o place_n on_o alm_n and_o partly_o because_o the_o saint_n have_v see_v some_o disorder_n by_o have_v too_o many_o religious_a in_o other_o house_n and_o yet_o the_o saint_n herself_o come_v afterward_o to_o admit_v of_o twenty_o in_o stead_n of_o twelue_v and_o will_v perhaps_o have_v admit_v more_o if_o she_o have_v find_v reason_n for_o it_o it_o she_o inveigh_v with_o much_o reason_n against_o vain_a compliment_n and_o especial_o among_o religious_a people_n people_n a_o excellent_a &_o most_o useful_a document_n document_n a_o true_a noble_a &_o most_o generous_a hart_n hart_n great_a effect_n of_o a_o vision_n
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world_n that_o still_o i_o shall_v have_v the_o courage_n to_o give_v myself_o to_o prayer_n i_o say_v courage_n for_o as_o for_o i_o i_o see_v not_o what_o one_o thing_n there_o be_v of_o so_o many_o as_o be_v to_o be_v find_v in_o the_o whole_a world_n wherein_o there_o be_v need_n of_o a_o great_a then_o to_o treat_v of_o commit_v treason_n against_o a_o king_n and_o to_o know_v that_o he_o know_v it_o well_o and_o yet_o never_o to_o go_v out_o of_o his_o presence_n for_o howsoever_o it_o be_v very_o true_a that_o we_o be_v always_o in_o the_o presence_n of_o almighty_a god_n yet_o i_o think_v that_o they_o who_o converse_n with_o he_o in_o prayer_n be_v in_o his_o presence_n after_o a_o more_o particular_a manner_n for_o they_o be_v see_v then_o that_o he_o see_v they_o whereas_o other_o may_v perhaps_o remain_v some_o day_n in_o his_o presence_n and_o yet_o without_o remember_v that_o he_o look_v upon_o they_o true_a it_o be_v that_o within_o that_o time_n there_o be_v i_o believe_v many_o month_n and_o sometime_o peradventure_o a_o whole_a year_n that_o i_o keep_v myself_o from_o offend_v our_o lord_n and_o give_v myself_o much_o to_o mental_a prayer_n and_o i_o also_o use_v some_o yea_o and_o many_o diligence_n that_o i_o may_v never_o grow_v more_o to_o offend_v he_o and_o because_o all_o that_o which_o i_o write_v now_o be_v to_o be_v deliver_v with_o entirenes_n of_o truth_n i_o declare_v myself_o here_o as_o you_o see_v but_o i_o remember_v little_a of_o those_o good_a day_n and_o therefore_o it_o may_v be_v think_v they_o be_v few_o and_o the_o ill_a one_o many_o yet_o few_o of_o those_o few_o pass_v away_o without_o my_o allow_v a_o good_a long_a time_n for_o prayer_n unless_o i_o be_v either_o very_o sick_a or_o extreme_o busy_a the_o worse_a i_o be_v in_o my_o health_n the_o more_o i_o be_v unite_v with_o god_n and_o i_o procure_v that_o such_o person_n as_o use_v to_o be_v with_o i_o at_o those_o time_n may_v be_v so_o too_o and_o i_o beg_v it_o of_o our_o lord_n and_o we_o speak_v very_o often_o of_o he_o and_o so_o unless_o it_o be_v that_o one_o year_n of_o which_o i_o have_v speak_v in_o eight_o and_o twenty_o year_n which_o have_v pass_v since_o i_o begin_v first_o to_o use_v mental_a prayer_n i_o have_v endure_v this_o battle_n and_o strife_n of_o treat_v both_o with_o god_n and_o the_o world_n more_o than_o eighteen_o year_n in_o those_o other_o year_n whereof_o i_o be_o yet_o to_o speak_v the_o cause_n of_o the_o war_n be_v change_v though_o of_o itself_o it_o be_v no_o inconsiderable_a thing_n but_o in_o regard_n that_o i_o be_v then_o as_o i_o conceive_v in_o the_o service_n of_o almighty_a god_n and_o in_o a_o knowledge_n of_o the_o vanity_n of_o whatsoever_o this_o world_n can_v be_v it_o do_v all_o prove_v delightful_a and_o pleasant_a as_o i_o will_v show_v hereafter_o now_o the_o reason_n why_o i_o have_v relate_v all_o this_o be_v first_o as_o i_o be_v say_v before_o to_o the_o end_n that_o the_o mercy_n of_o almighty_a god_n together_o with_o my_o ingratitude_n may_v be_v well_o discern_v and_o second_o that_o it_o may_v be_v also_o understand_v how_o great_a a_o blessing_n almighty_a god_n do_v to_o that_o soul_n which_o he_o dispose_v to_o use_v mental_a prayer_n with_o a_o good_a affection_n and_o will_v though_o yet_o it_o shall_v not_o be_v so_o very_o well_o dispose_v for_o it_o as_o be_v fit_a for_o in_o fine_a if_o he_o persevere_v therein_o what_o sin_n soever_o he_o commit_v and_o whatsoever_o temptation_n be_v offer_v and_o whatsoever_o fall_v be_v give_v he_o in_o a_o thousand_o strange_a fashion_n by_o the_o devil_n often_o i_o hold_v in_o fine_a for_o certain_a that_o our_o lord_n will_v draw_v he_o at_o length_n out_o of_o the_o storm_n into_o the_o port_n of_o salvation_n as_o now_o by_o all_o appearance_n he_o have_v draw_v i_o and_o i_o humble_o beseech_v his_o divine_a majesty_n that_o i_o may_v never_o return_v again_o to_o be_v lose_v many_o holy_a and_o good_a man_n have_v write_v of_o the_o benefit_n which_o he_o obtain_v who_o exercise_v himself_o in_o prayer_n i_o mean_v mental_a prayer_n and_o glory_n be_v to_o almighty_a god_n for_o be_v the_o cause_n thereof_o and_o yet_o if_o that_o be_v not_o true_a though_o i_o have_v little_a humility_n yet_o be_o i_o not_o withal_o so_o insolent_a as_o that_o i_o will_v presume_v to_o speak_v upon_o this_o subject_n but_o of_o that_o whereof_o i_o have_v some_o experience_n i_o may_v vet_n presume_v to_o say_v somewhat_o and_o it_o be_v this_o that_o whosoever_o have_v begin_v to_o frequent_v the_o use_n of_o prayer_n i_o wish_v he_o not_o to_o give_v it_o over_o whatsoever_o sin_n he_o commit_v in_o the_o mean_a time_n since_o this_o be_v the_o mean_n by_o which_o he_o may_v recover_v himself_o again_o which_o he_o will_v find_v to_o be_v of_o much_o more_o difficulty_n without_o it_o and_o let_v not_o the_o devil_n tempt_v he_o to_o leave_v it_o as_o he_o do_v i_o upon_o a_o pretence_n of_o humility_n but_o let_v he_o firm_o believe_v that_o his_o word_n can_v never_o want_v truth_n who_o say_v that_o if_o we_o will_v repent_v ourselves_o in_o good_a earnest_n and_o resolve_v to_o offend_v the_o divine_a majesty_n no_o more_o he_o restore_v we_o to_o the_o same_o friendship_n which_o we_o have_v before_o with_o he_o and_o do_v we_o the_o same_o favour_n which_o he_o do_v we_o before_o and_o sometime_o they_o prove_v to_o be_v much_o great_a if_o the_o repentance_n deserve_v it_o and_o whosoever_o have_v not_o yet_o begin_v this_o exercise_n i_o beseech_v he_o for_o the_o love_n of_o our_o lord_n that_o he_o will_v no_o long_o deprive_v himself_o of_o so_o great_a a_o benefit_n there_o be_v nothing_o to_o be_v fear_v here_o but_o much_o to_o be_v desire_v for_o though_o a_o man_n shall_v not_o proceed_v so_o far_o as_o to_o strive_v to_o gain_v such_o perfection_n as_o may_v prepare_v and_o as_o it_o be_v deserve_v those_o gust_n and_o regalo_n which_o god_n be_v wont_a to_o give_v to_o such_o person_n yet_o the_o least_o which_o he_o shall_v get_v will_v be_v that_o he_o shall_v be_v go_v on_o in_o the_o way_n to_o heaven_n and_o i_o know_v so_o much_o of_o the_o mercy_n of_o almighty_a god_n that_o i_o may_v conclude_v for_o certain_a enough_o that_o no_o body_n ever_o take_v he_o for_o a_o friend_n who_o he_o do_v not_o well_o requite_v for_o his_o pain_n for_o mental_a prayer_n be_v no_o other_o thing_n in_o my_o opinion_n than_o a_o treaty_n about_o make_v friendship_n with_o almighty_a god_n and_o a_o frequent_a and_o private_a commerce_n hand_n to_o hand_n with_o he_o by_o