Neuer such a Colledge or fraternitie vpon Earth if that be their inuiolable order But God helpe Conceit that buildeth Churches in the Ayer and platformeth Disciplines without stayne or spott They complaine of corruptions and worthily where Corruptions encroche I am no Patron of corruptions but what a surging sea of corruptiōs would ouerflow within few yeares in case the sword of so great and ample autoritie as that at Ierusalem most capitall or this at Geneua most redoubted were putt into the hand of so little capacitie in gouernement so little discretion in Discipline so little iudgement in causes so little moderation in liuing so little constancie in saying or dooing so little grauitie in behauiour or so little whatsoeuer should procure reuerence in a Magistrate or establish good order in a Cōmon-wealth Trauaile thorough ten thousand Parishes in England and when you haue taken a fauourable vew of their substantiallest and sufficientest Aldermen tell me in good sooth what a comely showe they would make in a Consistorie or with how solemne a presence they would furnish a Councell Table I beleeue Grimaldus did little thinke of any such Senatours whē he writ de Optimo Senatore or did Doctour Bartholmen Philip in his Perfect Counsellour euer dreame of any such Coūsellours Petty Principalities petty Tyrants such Senats such Senatours Witt might deuise a pleasurable Dialogue betwixt the Leather Pilch and the Veluet Coate and helpe to persuade the better to deale neighbourly with the other the other to cōtēt himselfe with his owne calling I deny not but the short apron may be as honest a man or as good a Christian as the long gowne but methinkes he should scantly be so good a Iudge or Assistant in doubtfull causes and I suppose Ne Sutor vltrà crepidam is as fitt a Prouerbe now as euer it was since that excellent Painter rebuked that sawcie Cobler Euery subiect is not borne to be a Magistrate or Officer and who knoweth not whose creature Superiour Power is They are very-wise that are wiser then he by whose diuine permission euery one is that he is The Laconicall Ephory hath lately borne a great swing in some resolute Discourses of Princes and Magistrates that thought they saued the world from the abhomination of desolatiō when they found-out a bridle or yoke for Princes but old Aristotle was a deepe Politician in diebus illis and his Reasons against that Ephorie for Aristotle confuted the Ephorie with sounder arguments then euer it was confirmed to this day would not yet perhaps be altogither contemned That so great iudiciall causes were committed to men indued with so little or no Vertue That the poore Plebeians for very penurie were easely bribed and corrupted That there ensued an alteration of the state the good Kinges being fayne to currie fauour with their great Masters and to become Popular Whither this would be the end and may be the marke of those or our Populars I offer it to their consideration that are most interessed in such motions of Ephoryes and Senioryes The world is beholding to braue and heroicall myndes that like Hercules would practise meanes to pull-downe Tyrannie smal or great and reforme whole Empires and Churches like the three victorious Emperours surnamed Magni Constantine Theodosius and Charles Thankes were an vnsufficient recompense for so noble intentions It must be a guerdon of value that should counteruaile their desert that pretend so fatherly and Patronly a care of reedifying Commonwealthes and Churches Some voluntarie Counsellours doe well in a State and men of extraordinary vocation singularly qualified for the purpose are worth their double weight in gold When other sleepe they watch when other play they worke when other feast they fast when other laugh they sigh whiles other are content to be lulled in securitie and nusled in abuse they occupie themselues in deuising pregnant bondes of assurance and exquisite models of Reformation Which must presently be aduaunced without further consultatiō or they haue courage and will vse it in maintenaunce of so diuine abstractes Melancholie is peremptory in resolution and Choler an aeger Executioner Were it not for those two inuincible arguments there might still be order taken with other reasons and autorities whatsoeuer They do well to presupppose the best of their owne deseignes and to giue-out Cardes of Fortunate Ilandes artificially drawen but as I neuer read or heard of any people that committed swordes into such hands but bought their experience with losse and had a hard penyworth of their soft cushion so in my simple consideration I cannot conceiue how Ignoraunce should become a meeter Officer then Knowledge Affection a more incorrupt Magistrate then Reason headlong Rashnesse or wilfull Stubbernesse a more vpright Iudge then mature Deliberation base Occupations enact and establish better orders then liberall Sciences or honorable Professions any traffique howsoeuer current or aduantageous hath bene iudged vndecent for a Senatour tagg ragg administer all things absolutely-well with due prouision against whatsoeuer possible inconueniences where so many faults are found with persons of better qualitie that incomparablie haue more skil in the administration of publique affaires more knowledge and experience in causes more respect in proceeding more regard of their credit more sense of daungerous enormities or contagious abuses more care of the floorishing and durable estate of the Prince the Common-wealth and the Church Na I can see no reason according to the best groundes of Pollicie that euer I read but for euery Ciuill tyranny or Pettie misdemeanour that can possiblie happen now the gouernemēt standing as it doth there must needes Vpstart a hundred and a hundred barbarous tyrannies and huge outrages were the new platformes Actes of Parlament and the Complotters such high Commissioners as are described in their owne proiects the floorishes of Vnexperienced wittes When they haue nothing else to alledge that should make them superiour or equall to the present Officers Conscience must be their Text their Glosse their Sanctuarie their Tenure and their strong hold Indeede Conscience grounded vpon Science is a double Ancher that neither deceiueth nor is deceiued and no better rule then a regular or publique Conscience in diuinitie ruled by Diuinitie in law by Law in art by Art in reason by Reason in experience by Experience Other irregular or priuate Conscience in Publique functions will fall-out to be but a lawlesse Church a ship-mans hose a iugglers sticke a phantasticall freehold and a conceited Tenure in Capite as interchaungeable as the Moone and as fallible as the winde How barratous and mutinous at euery puffe of Suggestion lett the world iudge I would there lacked a present Example as hoat as fresh but hoat looue soone cold and the fittes of youth like the showers of Aprill There goeth a prettie Fable of the Moone that on a time she earnestly besought her moother to prouide her a comely garment fitt and handsome for her boddy How can that be sweet daughter quoth the moother
carrie a tache of Pierce to his graue we haue worse prouerbes in englishe yet who seeith not what apparent good my Letters haue done him that before ouercrowed all commers and goers with like discretion but nowe forsooth hath learned some fewe handsome termes of respecte and verye manerly beclaweth a fewe that he might the more licentiously besmeere one S. Fame giue him ioye of his blacke cole and his white chalke Who is not limed with some default or who reddier to confesse his own imperfections then miselfe but when in professed hatred like a mortal feudist he hath vttered his very vttermost spite wholy disgorged his rācorous stomacke yet can he not so much as deuise any particularaction of trespas or obiect any certaine vice against me but only one greuous crime called Pumps Pātofles which indeede I haue worne euer since I knewe Cambridge his owne deerest hart-root Pride which I protest before God and man my soule in iudgment as much detesteth as my body in nature lotheth poyson or any thing abhorreth his deadlye enemy euen amongst those creatures which are found fatally contrary by naturall Antipathy It is not excesse but defecte of pride that hath broken the head of some mens preferment Aspiring mindes can soare aloft and Selfe-conceit with the countenaunce of Audacity the tongue of Impudency the hand of Dexterity preaseth bouldly into the forwardest throng of the shouldring ranke whiles Discretion hath leasure to discourse whether somedeale of Modesty were meeter for manye that presume aboue their condition and some deale of Selfe-liking fitter for some that haue fealt no greater want then want of Pride It may seeme a rude disposition that sorteth not with the quality of the age Pollicy deemeth that vertue a vice that modesty simplicity that resolutenes dissolutenes that conformeth not it selfe with a supple deft correspōdence to the present time but no such oxe in my mind as Tarquinius Superbus no such calfe as Spurius Maelius no such colt as Publius Clodius no such Ape as Lucians Rhetorician or the Diuels Oratour Blind ambition a noble bayarde proud arrogancy a goulden Asse vaine conceit a gaudy Peacocke all brauery that is not effectuall a gay nothing He vpbraideth me with his own good nature but where such an insolent braggard or such a pussing thing as himselfe that in magnifying his owne bable debasing me reuileth them whose bookes or pantofles he is not worthy to beare If I be an Asse what asses were those curteous frendes those excellent learned men those worshipfull honorable personages whose Letters of vndeserued but singular cōmendation may be shewen What an asse was thiselfe whē thou didst publish my praise amongst the notablest writers of this realme or what an Asse art thiself that in the spitefullest outrage of thy maddest Confutatiō dost otherwhiles enterlace some remembrances of more account then I can acknowledge without vanity or desier without ambition The truth is I stande as little vpon others commendations or mine owne titles as any man in England whosoeuer if there be nothing els to solicite my cause but being so shamefully and intollerably prouoked in the most villanous termes of reproch I were indeede a notorious insensate asse in case I should eyther sottishly neglect the reputation of soe worthy fauorers or vtterly abandō mine owne credit Sweet Gentlemen renowned knightes and honorable Lordes be not ashamed of your Letters imprinted or written if I liue seeing I must eyther liue in tenebris with obloquy or in luce with proofe by the leaue of God I will prooue miselfe no Asse I speake not onely to M. Bird M. Spencer or Monsieur Bodin whom he nothinge regardeth yet I would his owne learning or iudgmente were anye way matchable with the worst of the three but amongst a number of sundrie other learned and gallant Gentlemē to M. Thomas Watson a notable Poet to M. Thomas Hatcher a rare Antiquary to M. Daniel Rogers of the Court to Doctor Griffin Floyd the Queenes professour oflawe at Oxforde to Doctor Peter Baro a professour of diuinity in Cambridg to Doctor Bartholmew Clark late Deane of the Arches to Doctor William Lewen Iudge of the prerogatiue Court to Doctor Iohn Thomas Freigius a famous writer of Germany to Sir Philip Sidney to M. Secretary Wilson to Sir Thomas Smith to Sir Walter Mildmay to milord the bishop of Rochester to milord Treasurer to milord the Earle of Leicester Vnto whose worshipfull and honorable fauours I haue bene exceedingly beholding for letters of extraordinary commendation such as some of good experience haue doubted whether they euer voutsafed the like vnto any of either vniuersity I beseech God I may deserue the least parte of their good opinion eyther in effectuall proofe or in dutifull thankefullnesse but how little soeuer I presume of mine owne sufficiency he that knoweth himselfe hath smal cause to conceiue any high hope of low meanes as in reason I was not to flatter miselfe with their bountifull commendation so in iudgement I am not to agreeue miselfe with the odious detraction of this pestilent libeller or any like despiteous slanderer but in patience am to digest the one with moderation as in temperance I qualified the other with modesty Some would say what is the peeuishe grudge of one beggarly rakehell to so honorable liking of so many excellēt some singular mē But god in heauē teach me to take good by my aduersaries inuectiue and no harme by my fauourers approbation It is neither the one nor the other that deserueth euill or well but the thing it selfe that edifieth without which praise is smoke and with which dispraise is fyer Let me enioy that essential point hauke or hunt or fishe after praise you that list Many contumelious and more glorious reports haue passed from Enemies Frends without cause or vpon smal occasion that is the onely infamy that cannot acquit it selfe from guiltinesse that the only honor that is grounded vpō desert Other winds of diffamation want matter to vpholde it and other shadowes of glory lacke a body to support it In vnhappinesse they are happy of whose bad amounteth good in happinesse they vnhappy whose good prooueth bad as glory eftsoones followeth them that fly from it flyeth from them that followe it There is a Terme Probatory that wil not ly and commendations are neuer autenticall vntill they bee signed with the seale of approoued Desert the only infallible Testimoniall Desert maugre Enuy the companion of Vertue Socrates high waye to Honour the totall summe of Osorius De Gloria I will not enter into Macchiauels discourses Iouius Elogyes Cardās natiuities Cosmopolites Dialogues or later Histories in dyuers languages but some worthelye continue honorable whom they make dishonorable contrariwise Reason hath an euen hande and dispenseth to euerye one his right Arte amplifieth or extenuateth at occasion the residue is the liberality of the pen or the poyson of the inke in Logique
Sophistrie in law iniury in historie a fable in diuinity a lye Horace a sharpe and sententious Poet after his pithy manner comprizeth much in fewe wordes Falsus honor iuuat mendax infamia terret Quem nisi mendacem mendosum For mine owne part I am reasonably resolute both wayes stand affraide of phantasticall discredit as I esteeme imaginatiue credit or a contemplatiue banquett It fitteth not with the profession of a Philosopher or the constancie of a man to carrye the minde of a childe or an youth or a woman or a slaue or a tyrant or a beast That resteth not in my power to reforme or alter I were very vnwise if I should not endure with patience mittigate with reason contemne with pleasure Onely I can be content in certain behoouefull respects to yeeld a peece of a satisfaction vnto some that requier it in affectionate termes and what honest minde in case of mortalitie hath not a care how the posterity may be informed of him Other reasons I haue elswhere assigned and am here to present a vowe to Humilitie in detestatiō of that which my disposition abhorreth As for his lewd supposals imputations of counterfait praises without anye probability of circumstance or the least suspition but in his owne vengeable malitious head the common forge of pestilent surmyzes and arrant slaunders they are like my imprisonment in the Fleete of his strong Fantasie and doe but intimate his owne skill in falsifying of euidence and suborning of witnesses to his purpose he museth as he vseth the goodwife his mother would neuer haue sought her daughter in the Oouen if herselfe had not beene well acquainted with such shiftes of cunninge conueiance He was neuer a non proficient in good matters and hath not studied his fellowes Arte of Cunnycatching for nothinge Examin the Printers gentle Preamble before the Supplication to the Diuell and tell me in good sooth by the verdicte of the Tuchstone whether Pierce Penniles commende Pierce Penniles or no and whether that sory praise of the Authour Thomas Nashe be not lothsome from the mouthe of the Printer Thomas Nashe In coniectural causes I am not to auouch any thinge and I mentioned not anye such supposition before but the tenour of the style as it were the identitye of the phrase togither with this newe descant of his profound insight in forgery may after a sort tel tales out of the tytle De Secretis non reuelandis yeld a certain strong sauour of a vehement presumption There is pregnant euidence enough though I leaue probable cōrectures violent presumptions wher I found them His Life daily 〈◊〉 his Stile his Stile notoriously bewraieth his Life But what is that to me or the world howe Nashe liueth or howe the poore fellowe his father hath put him to his foisting and scribling shiftes his onely gloria patri when all is done Rule thy desperate infamous penne bee the sonne of a mule or the printers Gentleman or what thou wilt for me If thou wilt needs deriue thy pettigree frō the noble blood of the Kilprickes and Childeberds kinges of France what commission haue I to sitt vpō Genealogies or to call nobilitie in question If thou beist disposed to speake as thou liuest to liue like Tonosconcoleros the famous Babilonian king in curtesy or in pollicy forbeare one that is not ouer-hasty to troble himselfe with trobling other What I haue heard credibly reported I can yet be cōtent to smother in silence nether threaten thee with Tiburne nor Newgate nor Ouldgate nor Counter nor Fleete nor any publique penance but wishe thy amendment and dare not be too sawcy with your good qualities les you confute my Maistership of Arte as you haue done my Doctorship of Lawe Neuer poore Doctorship was soe confuted The best is I dote not vpon it and would rather be actually degraded then any way disparage the degree or derogate from them that are worthier ofit Rest you quiet and I will not onely not struggle with you for a tytle but offer here to renounce the whole aduantage of a late inquisition vpon a clamorous denunciation of S. Fame herselfe who presumed she might be as bould to play the blab with you as you were to play the slouen with her Or if your pen be so ranke that it cannot stande vpon any ground but the soile of Calumny in the muck-yard of Impudency or your tongue soe laxatiue that it must vtterly vtter a great horrible deale more then all whuist a while and for your instruction til some pregnanter lessons come abrode I wil breefely tell you in your care A certaine familiar history of more then one or two breakefastes wherein some eight or nine eggs a pound of butter for your pore part with Gods plenty of other victuals wine enough powred-in by quartes and pottels was a scant pittance for an inuincible stomack two houres before his ordinary I haue readd of Apicius and Epicures Philosophy but I perceaue you meane not to be accounted a Pythagorean or a Stoique What gorge vpon gorge egges vpon egges sacke vpō sacke at these yeares Berlady Sir Kilpricke you must prouide for a hott kitchin againste you growe ould if you purpose to liue Doctor Pernes or Doctor Kenols yeares Such egging and whitling may happen bring you acquainted with the triumphant chariot of rotten egges if you take not the better order in tyme with one or two of the seuē deadly sinnes I will not offend your stomacke with the nice and queint regiment of the dainty Platonistes or pure Pythagoreans fine Theurgy too-gant and meager a doctrine for the Diuels Oratour if the Arte Notory cannot be gotten without fasting and praying muchgoditch-them that haue it let phantasticall or superstitious Abstinence daunce in the aier like Aristophanes clowdes or Apuleius witches your owne method of those deadly sinnes be your Castell of Health No remedy you must be dieted lett-blood in the Cephalica veine of Asses fooles doltes ideots Dunses dodipoules and so foorth infinitly neuer trust me if you be not as tame-tonged and barren-witted as other honest men of Lumbardy the Low-Cuntries Tushe man I see deeper into thee then thou seeist into thy selfe thou hast a superficiall tange of some little somethinge as good as nothing and a runing witt as fisking as any fisgig but as shallow as Trumpington foorde and as slight as the newe workemanship of guegawes to please children or of toys to mocke apes or of trinketts to conquer sauages Only in that singular veine of asses thou art incomparable and such an egregious arrant foole-munger as liueth not againe She knew what she said that intituled Pierce the hoggeshed of witt Penniles the tospot of eloquence Nashe the verye inuentor of Asses She it is that must broach the barrell of thy frisking conceite and canonise the Patriarke of newe writers I will not heere decipher thy vnprinted packet of bawdye and filthy
world an euerlasting Sample of inimitable artificiality Other mens writing in prose or verse may plodd-on as before but his Pamting will now tread Arare Path and by the way bestow A new Lesson vppon Rhetorique how to continue a metaphor or vphold an Allegory with aduauntage The treading of that rare Path by that exquisite Painting his woorkes are miracles and his Painting can treade like his dauncing or frisking no common but a proper Path who expecteth not with an attentiue a seruiceable a coouetous a longing expectation A wait world and Apelles tender thy most affectionate deuotion to learne a wonderfull peece of curious workemanship when it shall please his next Painting to tread the path of his most singular singularity Meane-while it hath pleased soome sweete wittes of my acquaintaunce whome Heauen hath baptized the Spirites of harmony and the Muses haue enterteyned for their Paramours to reacquite Sonnets with Sonnets and to snibb the Thrason◅call rimester with Angelical meeter that may haply appeere in fitt place and finely discouer young Apuleius in his ramping roabe the fourth Furie in his Tragicall Pageant the new Sprite in his proper haunt or buttry and the confuting Diuell in the horologe One She two He 's haue vowed they will pumpe his Railing Inkhorne as dry as euer was Holborne Conduit and squise his Craking Quill to as emptie a spunge as any in Hosier Lane Which of you gallāt Gentlemē hath not stripped his stale Iestes into their thredbare ragges or so seldome as an hundred times pittied his creast-falne stile his socket-worne inuention Who would haue thought or could haue imagined to haue found the witt of Pierce so starued and clunged the conceit of an aduersarie so weatherbeaten and tired the learning of a schollar so pore-blind and lame the elocutiō of the Diuels Oratour so lanke so wan so meager so blunt so dull so fordead so gastly where the masculine Furie meant to play his grisliest and horriblest part Welfare a good visage in a bad cause or farwell Hope the kindest coosener of forlorne harts The desperate minde that assayeth impossibilities in nature or vndertaketh incredibilities in Art must be cōtent to speed thereafter When euery attempt faileth in performance and euery extremitie foileth the enterpriser at-last euen Impudencie itselfe must be faine to giue-ouer in the plaine fielde and neuer yeeld credit to the word of that most credible Gentlewoman if the very brasen buckler prooue not finally a notorious Dash-Nash He summed all in a briefe but materiall Summe that called the old Asse the great A and the est Amen of the new Supererogation And were I here cōpelled to dispatch abruptly as I am presently called to a more commodious exercise should I not sufficiētly haue discharged my taske and plentifully haue cōmended that famous creature whose prayse the Title of this Pamflet professeth He that would honor Alexander may crowne him the great A. of puissance but Pyrrhus Hanniball Scipio Pompey Caesar diuers other mightie Conquerours cuē som moderne Worthies would disdaine to haue him sceptred the est-Amen of Valour What a braue and incomparable Alexander is that great A. that is also the est-Amen of Supererogatiō a more miraculous and impossible peece of worke thē the dowtiest puissance or worthiest valour in the old or new world Shall I say blessed or peerelesse young Apuleius that from the swathing bandes of his infancie in Print was suckled of the sweetestnurses lulled of the deerest groomes cockered of the finest miniōs cowled of the daintiest paramours hugged of the enticingest darlinges and more then tenderly tendered of the most delitious Muses the most-amiable Graces and the most-powerfull Venues of the said vnmatchable great A. the graund founder of Supererogatiō and sole Patron of such meritorious clients As for other remarkable Particulars in the Straunge Newes Ink is so like Ink spite so like spite impudencie so like impudencie brocage so like brocage and Tom-Penniles now so like Papp-hatchet when the time was that I neede but ouerrun an old censure of the One by way of a new application to the Other The notes of Martinisme appertaine vnto those whom they concerne Pierce would laugh to be charged with Martinisme or any Religion though Martin himselfe for a challenging rufling and railing stile not such a Martin Two contraries but two such contraries as can teach Extremities to play the contraries and to confound themselues Papp-hatchet desirous for his benefit to currie fauour with a noble Earle and in defect of other meanes of Commendatiō labouring to insinuate himselfe by smooth glosing coūterfait suggestiōs it is a Courtlyfeate to snatch the least occasioner of aduantage with a nimble dexteritie some yeares since prouoked me to make the best of it inconsideratly to speake like a frend vnfrendly to say as it was intolerably without priuate cause or any reason in the world for in truth I looued him in hope praysed him many wayes fauored him and neuer any way offended him and notwithstanding that spitefull prouocatiō and euen that odious threatening of ten yeares prouision he had euer passed vntouched with any sillable of reuenge in Print had not Greene and this dog-fish abhominably misused the verbe passiue as should appeare by his procurement or encouragement assuredly most vndeserued and most iniurious For what other quarrel could Greene or this dogge-fish euer picke with me whom I neuer so much as twitched by the sleeue before I founde miselfe and my dearest frendes vnsufferably quipped in most contumelious and opprobrious termes But now there is no remedie haue amongest you blind Harpers of the Printing house for I feare not six hundred Crowders were all your wittes assembled in one capp of Vanitie or all your galles vnited in one bladder of choler I haue lost more labour then the transcripting of this Censure which I dedicate neither to Lord nor Lady but to Truth and Aequitie on whose souerain Patronage Irelye An Aduertisement for Pap-hatchet and Martin Mar-prelate PAp-hatchet for the name of thy good nature is pittyfully growen out-of request thy olde acquaintance in the Sauoy when young Euphues hatched the egges that his elder freendes laide surely Euphues was someway a pretty fellow would God Lilly had alwaies bene Euphues and neuer Pap-hatchet that old acquaintance now somewhat straungely saluted with a new remembrance is neither lullabied with thy sweete Papp nor scarre-crowed with thy sower hatchet And although in selfe-conceit thou knowest not thy selfe yet in experience thou mightest haue knowen him that can Vnbutton thy vanity and Vnlase thy folly but in pitty spareth thy childish simplicity that in iudgement scorneth thy roisterly brauery and neuer thought so basely of thee as since thou began'st to disguise thy witt and disgrace thy arte with ruffianly foolery He winneth not most abroad that weeneth most at-home and in my poore fancy it were not greatly amisse euen for the pertest and gayest companions notwithstanding whatsoener courtly holly-water or plausible hopes of preferment to
Inuentarie of his witt though in time he may haply learne to play at ninehole-nidgets or to canuas a liuerie flowt thorough all the Predicaments of the fower twentie orders When I first tooke a glancing vewe of I le I le I le durst scarsely be so hardy to looke the hatchet in the face methought his Imagination was hedded like a Saracen his stomack bellyed like the great Globe of Orontius his breath like the blast of Boreas in the great Mapp of Mercator But when we began to renue our old acquaintance and to shake the handes of discontinued familiaritie alas good Gentleman his mandillion was ouercropped his witt paunched like his wiues spindle his art shanked like a lath his conceit as lank as a shotten herring and that same blustering eloquence as bleake and wan as the Picture of a forlorne Loouer Nothing but pure Mammaday and a fewe morsels of fly-blowne Euphuisme somewhat nicely minced for puling stomackes But there be Painters enough though I goe roundly to worke and it is my onely purpose to speake to the purpose I long sithence founde by experience how Dranting of Verses and Euphuing of sentences did edifie But had I consulted with the Prognostication of Iohn Securis I might peraduenture haue saued some loose endes for afterclapps Now his nephew Hatchet must be content to accept of such spare intertainement as he findeth It was Martins folly to begin that cutting vaine some others ouersight to continue it and doubble V s. triumph to set it agogg If the world should applaude to such roisterdoisterly Vanity as Impudency hath beene prettily suffered to sett-vpp the creast of his vaineglory what good could grow of it but to make cuery man madbrayned and desperate but a generall contempt of all good order in Saying or Dooing but an Vniuersal Topsy-turuy He were a very simple Oratour a more simple politician and a most-simple Deuine that should fauour Martinizing but had I bene Martin as for a time I was vainely suspected by such madd Copesmates that can surmize any thing for their purpose howsoeuer vnlikely or monstrous I would haue beene so farre from being mooued by such a fantasticall Confuter that it should haue beene one of my May-games or August-triumphes to haue driuen Officials Commissaries Archdeacons Deanes Chauncellors Suffraganes Bishops and Archbishops so Martin would haue florished at the least to entertaine such an odd light-headded fellow for their defence a professed iester a Hick-scorner a scoff-maister a playmunger an Interluder once the foile of Oxford now the stale of London and euer the Apesclogg of the presse Cum Priuilegio perennitatis Had it not bene a better course to haue followed Aristotles doctrine and to haue confuted leuity with grauity vanity with discretion rashnes with aduise madnesse with sobriety fier with water ridiculous Martin with reuerend Cooper Especially in Ecclesiasticall causes where it goeth hard when Scoggin the Iouiall foole or Skelton the Malancholy foole or Elderton the bibbing foole or Will Sommer the chollericke foole must play the feate and Church-matters cannot bee discussed without rancke scurrillity and as it were a Synode of Diapason fooles Some few haue a ciuill pleasant vaine and a dainety splene without scandale some such percase might haue repayed the Marr-prelate home to good purpose other obscenity or vanity confuteth itselfe and impeacheth the cause As good forbeare an irregular foole as beare a foole heteroclitall and better abide a comparatiue knaue that pretendeth religion then suffer a knaue superlatiue that setteth cocke on hoope Serious matters would be handeled seriously not vpon simplicity but vppon choice nor to flesh or animate but to disgrace and shame Leuity A glicking Pro and a frumping Contra shall haue much-adoe to shake handes in the Ergo. There is no ende of gird◅s bobbes it is sound Argumentes and grounded Authorities that must strike the definitiue stroke and decide the controuersy with mutuall satisfaction Martin bee wise though Browne were a foole Papp-hatchet be honest though Barrow be a knaue it is not your heauing or hoising coile that buildeth-vpp the walles of the Temple Alas poore miserable desolate most-woefull Church had it no other builders but such architects of their owne fantasies and such maisons of infinite contradiction Time informed by secrcte intelligence or resolued by curious discouery spareth no cost or trauaile to preuent Mischiefe but employeth her two woorthy Generals Knowledge Industry to cleere the coast of vagarant errours in Doctrine and to scoure the sea of rouing conuptions in Discipline Roome was not reared-vpp in one day nor cannot be pulled downe in one day A perfect Ecclesiasticall Discipline or autentique Pollicy of the Church that may auowe I haue neither more nor lesse then enough but iust the nomber weight and measure of exact gouernement is not the worke of One man whosoeuer or of one age whatsoeuer it requireth an incredible-great iudgement exceeding-much reading in Ecclesiastical histories Councels Decrees Lawes long and ripe practise in Church-causes Platformes offer themselues to euery working conceit and a few Tables or Abridgements are soone dispatched but whatsoeuer pretext may coulerably bee alledged vndoubtedly they attempt they know not what and enterprise aboue the possibility of their reach that imagine they can in a Pamflet or two contriue such an omnisufficient and incorruptible Method of Ecclesiasticall gouernement as could not by any priuate meditation or publike occasion be found-out with the studdy or practise of fifteene hundred yeeres I am not to dispute as a professed Deuine or to determine as a seuere Consour but a scholler may deliuer his opinion with reason and a frend may lend his aduise at occasion especially when hee is vrged to speake or suspected for silence They must licence mee to dissent from them that autorise thēselues to disagree from fo many notable and woorthy men in the common reputation of so long a space They condemne superstitious credulous simplicity it were a fond simplicity to defende it where it swarueth from the Trueth or strayeth out of the way but discretion can as little commend opiniotiue and preiudicate assertions that striue for a needelesse and daungerous Innouation It is neither the Excesse nor the Defect but the Meane that edifyeth Superstition and Credulitie are simple Creatures but what are Contempt and Tumult What is the principall cause of this whole Numantine Warre but affectation of Nouelty without ground If all without exception from the very schollers of the Primitiue and heroical schoole wanted knowledge or zeale how rare and singular are their blessinges that haue both in so plentifull and incomparable measure Assuredly there were many excellent witts illuminate minds and deuout soules before them if nothing matchable with them what greater Maruell in this age Or if they were not rightly disciplined that liued so Vertuously and Christianly togither what an inestimable treasure is founde what a cleere fountaine of holy life Where are godly minds become that they
according to any indifferent or reasonable Analysis shall finde the sharpest Inuentions weightiest Iudgementes of their leaders nothing so autenticall or current as was preiudicatly expected It is no peece of my intention to instruct where I may learne or to controwle any superiour of qualitie that inconscience may affect or in Pollicie seeme to countenance that side With Martin and his applauders Browne and his adherents Barrow and his complices Kett and his sectaries or whatsoeuer Commotioners of like disposition for neuer such a flush of scismatique heads or heretique witts that like the notorious H. N. or the presumptuous Dauid Gorge or that execrable Seruetus or other turbulent rebells in Religion would be Turkesing and innouating they wott not what I hope it may become me to be allmost as bold as they haue bene with Iudges Bishops Archbishops Princes and with whom not howsoeuer learned wise vertuous reuerend honorable or souerain Or if my coole dealing with them be insupportable I beleeue their hoat practising with Lordes and Princes was not greatly tolerable Be as it may that is done on both sides cannot be vndone and if they weene they may offende outragiously without iniurie other are suer they may defend moderately with iustice When that seuen-fold Sheild faileth my plea is at an ende albeit my making or marring were the Client Whiles the seuen-fold Sheild holdeth-out he can doe little that cannot hold it vpp A strong Apologie enhableth a weake hand and a good cause is the best Aduocate Some sleepe not to all and I watch not to euery-one If I be vnderstood with effect where I wish at-least a demurrer with stayed aduisement consultation I haue my desier not wil tediously importune other I doubt not of many cōtrary instigatiōs some bold examples of turbulēt spirits but heat is not the meetest Iudge on the bench or the soundest Diuine in disputation in matters of gouernment but especially in motions of alteratiō that runne their heads against a strong wall Take heede is a fayre thing Were there no other Considerations the Place and the Time are two weightie and mightie Circumstances It is a very-nimble feather that will needes out-runne the wing of the Time and leaue the sayles of regiment behinde Men are men and euer had and euer will haue their imperfections Paradise tasted of imperfections the golden age whensoeuer it was most golden had some drosse of imperfectiōs the Patriarkes fealt some fits of imperfections Moses tabernacle was made acquainted with imperfectiōs Salomōs Temple could not cleere itselfe frō imperfections the Primitiue Church wanted not imper fections Constantines deuotion founde imperfections what Reformatiō could euer say I haue no imperfectiōs or will they that dubb themselues the little flocke and the onely remnant of Israel say we haue no imperfectiōs Had they none as none haue more then some of those Luciferian spirits it is an vnkinde Birde that defileth his kinde neast and a prowd husband-man that can abide no tares amōgst wheate or vpbraideth the Corne with the Cockle There is a God aboue that heareth prayers a Prince beneath that tendereth supplications Lordes on both sides that Patronise good causes learned men that desire Conference time to consider vpon essentiall pointes Knowledge that loueth zeale as zeale must reuerence knowledge Trueth that displayeth inuesteth itselfe Conscience that is a thousand witnesses euen against it selfe When the question is de Re to dispute de Homine is sophisticall or when the matter dependeth in controuersie to cauill at the forme is captious the abuse of the one were it proued abolisheth not the vse of the other what should impertinent secrecies be reuealed or needles quarrels picked or euery proposition wrinched to the harshest sense What should honest mindes and excellent witts be taunted and bourded without rime or reason What should insolent and monstrous Phantasticality extoll and glorify itselfe aboue the cloudes without cause or effect When where and how should Martin Iunior be purified Martin Senior saintified Browne Euangelistified Barrow Apostolified Kett Angelified or the Patriarke of the loouely Familistes H.N. deified more then all the world beside Were it possible that this age should affoord a diuine and miraculous Elias yet when Elias himselfe deemed himselfe most desolate and complained hee was left all-alone there remained thousandes liuing that neuer bowed their knees vnto Baal But Faction is as sure a Keeper of Counsell as a siue Spite as close a Secretary as a skummer Innouation at the least a bright Angell from heauen the foresaid abstractes of pure diuinity will needes know why Iunius Brutus or Eusebius Philadelphus should rather be Pasquils incarnate then they If there be one Abraham in Vr one Lot in Sodome one Daniell in Babilon one Ionas in Niniue one Iob in Huz or if there bee one Dauid in the Court of Saule one Obadia in the Court of Achab one Ieremy in the Court of Zedechias one Zorobabel in the Court of Nabuchodonosor one Nehemias in the Court of Artaxerxes or any singular blessed One in any good or bad Court Citty State Kingdome or Nation it must be One of them all other of whatsoeuer dignity or desert what but reprobates apostataes monsters tyrants pharises hypocri tes false prophets belly-gods worldlinges rauenous woolues crafty foxes dogs to their vomite a generation of vipers limmes of Sathan Diuels incarnate or such like For Erasmus poore Copia Verborum and Omphalius sory furniture of inuectiue and declamatory phrases must come-shorte in this comparison of the rayling faculty I know no remedy but the prayer of Charitie and the order of Autority whome it concerneth to deale with libels as with thornes with phansies as with weedes and with heresies or scismes as with Hydras heads It hath bene alwayes one of my obseruations but especially of later yeares since these Numantine skirmishes The better schollar indeede the colder scismatique the hotter scismatique the worse schollar What an hideous and incredible opinion did Dauid Gorge conceiue of himself H.N. was not affraide to insult ouer al the Fathers Doctors schoolemē new-writers euer since the Euāgelists Apostles Browne challēged all the Doctours other notablest graduats of Cambridge and Oxford Kett though something in Astrology and Physicke yet a rawe Deuine how obstinate and vntractable in his fantasticke assertions Barrow taketh vpon him not onely aboue Luther Zuinglius Oecolampadius Brentius and all the vehementest Germane Protestants but also aboue Caluin Viret Beza Marlorat Knox Meluin Cartwright Trauerse Fenner Penry and all our importunest sollicitours of reformation howsoeuer qualified with giftes or reputed amongst their fauorits Illuminate Vnderstanding is the rare byrd of the Church and graund intendimentes come by a certaine extraordinarie and supernaturall reuelation One Vnlearned Singularist hath more in him then ten learned Precisians Giue me the braue fellow that can carrie a Dragons tayle after him Tush Vniuersitie-learning is a Dunse and Schoole-diuinitie a Sorbonist It is not Art
an vnmercifull Tyrant I feare me their Consistoriall Iurisdiotiō would growe a Cruell griper especially being so Vniuersally extended in euery Parish as is intended by the promoters thereof and powerably armed with that supreme Vncontrowlable authoritie which they affect in causes Ecclesiasticall A braue spirituall motion and worthie not onely of these pidling sturres but euen of a Troian warre Yet their Precedent the Mosaicall Synedrion was a Ciuil Court as is afore mentioned would be reconsidered cum mero imperio and when it became mixt it was not meerly Ecclesiasticall when it became meerly Ecclesiasticall of a Pōtifical Consistory it soone prooued a Tyrannicall Court and by your good leaue was as nimble to encroach vpon Ciuill causes being an Ecclesiasticall Court as euer it was to intermeddle with Ecclesiasticall causes being a Ciuill Court The finest Methodists according to Aristotles golden rule of artificiall Boundes condemne Geometricall preceptes in Arithmetique or Arithmeticall preceptes in Geometrie as irregular and abusiue but neuer Artist so licentiously heterogenised or so extrauagantly exceeded his prescribed limits as Ambition or Coouetice Euery Miller is ready to conuey the water to his owne mill and neither the high Priestes of Ierusalem nor the Popes of Roome nor the Patriarkes of Constantinople nor the Pastors of Geneua were euer hastie to binde their owne handes They that research Antiquities and inquier into the priuities of Practises shall finde an Act of Praemunire is a necessarie Bridle in some cases The first Bishops of Roome were vndoubtedly vertuous men and godly Pastors from Bishops they grew to be Popes what more reuerend then some of those Bishops or what more Tyrannicall then some of those Popes Aaron and the high-Priestes of Ierusalem and of other ceremoniall nations were their glorious Mirrours and they deemed nothing too-magnificall or pompous to breede an Vniuersall reuerence of their sacred autoritie and Hierarchie We are so farre alienated from imitating or allowing them that we cannot abide our owne Bishops yet withall would haue euery Minister a Bishop and would also be fetching a new Patterne from old Ierusalem the moother-sea of the high-Priesthood So the world as the manner is will needes runne-about in a Circle pull-downe Bishops set vp the Minister make him Bishop of his Parish and head of the Consistorie call him how you list that must be his place what will become of him within a fewe generations but a high Priest in a low Ierusalem or a great Pope in a small Roome And then where is the difference betweene him and a Bishop or rather betweene him and a Pope not somuch in the qualitie of his Iurisdiction when in effect he may be his owne Iudge as in the quantitie of his Dioces or temporalties Or in case he be Politique as some Popes haue bene glad for their aduantage to tyrannise Popularly so he may chaunce be content for his aduauncement to popularise tyrannically and shall not be the first of the Clergie that hath cunningly done it with a comely grace Something there must be of a Monarchie in free states and something there will be of free states in a Monarchie The discreeter and Vprighter the Curate is the more circumspectly he will walke and degenerate the lesse Yet what generation without degeneration or what reuolution without irregularitie One inconuenience begetteth an other enormities grow like euill weedes take heede of a mischiefe and where then will be the corruptions Or how shall defection acknowledging no primacie or superioritie in any person or Court retire to his first institution if percase there should growe a Conspiracie in fellowship one Consistory iustifie an other for aduantage and their whole Synods fall-out in consequence to be like their Parts Men may erre and frailtie will slipp What should I alledge Historyes or autorities It is no newes for infirmitie to fall when it should stand or for appetite to rebell when it should obey Euery sonne of Adam a reed shaken with the wind of passion a weake Vessell a Schollar of imperfection a Master of ignorance a Doctour of errour a Pastour of concupiscence a superintendent of auarice a Lord of ambition a Prince of sinne a slaue of mortalitie Flesh is flesh and Blud a Wanton a chaungeling a compound of contrary elementes a reuoulting and retrograde Planet a Sophister an hypocrite an impostour an Apostata an heretique as conuertible as Mercury as variable as the weather-cock as lunatique as the Moone a generation of corruption a Whore of Babylon a limme of the world and an impe of the Diuell It is their owne argument in other mens case and why should it not be other mens argument in their case Vnlesse they can shew a personall Priuiledge ad imprimendum solum They may speake as they list termes of sanctification and mortificatiō are free for them that will vse them but the Common opinion is euen of the forwardest skirmishers at this day they doe like other men and liue like the children of the world and the brethren of themselues Some of them haue their neighbours good leaue to be their owne Proctors or Aduocats if they please Yet how probable is it they are now at their very best and euen in the neatest and purest plight of their incorruption whiles their mindes are abstracted from worldly thoughts to a high meditation of their supposed-heauenly Reformation and whiles it necessarily behooueth them to stand charily and nicely vpon the credit of their integritie sinceritie precisenesse godlinesse Zeale and other vertues When such respects are ouer and their purpose compassed according to their harts desier who can tell how they or their successours may vse the Keyes or how they will besturr them with the Sword If Flesh prooue not a Pope Ioane and Bloud a Pope Hildebrand good enough Accidents that haue happened may happen agayne and all thinges vnder the Sunne are subiect to casualtie mutabilitie and corruption At all aduentures it is a braue Position to maintaine a souerain and supreme autoritie in euery Consistorie and to exempt the Minister from superiour Censure like the high Priest or greatest Pontiffe whom Dionysius Haly carnasseus calleth 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 He had neede be a wise and Conscionable man that should be a Parlamēt or a Chauncerie vnto himselfe and what a furniture of diuine perfections were requisite in the Church where so many Ministers so many spirituall high Iustices of Oier and Terminer and euery one a supreme Tribunall a Synode a Generall Councell a Canon Law a heauenly Law and Gospel vnto himselfe If no Serpent can come within his Paradise safe enough Or were it possible that the Pastor although a man yet a diuine man should as it were by inheritance or succession continue a Sainct from generation to generation is it also necessary that the whole company of the redoubted Seniors should wage euerlasting warre with the flesh the world and the Diuell and eternally remaine an incorruptible Areopage without wound or scarre
curiositie can deuise were not the wisest on your side most-simplie simple in weying the Consequents of such antecedents they would neuer so inconsideratly labour their owne shame the miserie of their brethren the desolatioÌ„ of the Ministery the destructioÌ„ of the Church Good Martin be good to the Church to the Ministery to the state to thy country to thy patrons to thy frends to thy brethren to thiselfe and as thou loouest thiselfe take heede of old Puritanisme new Anabaptisme finall Barbarisme Thou art young in yeares I suppose but younger in enterprise I am assured Thy age in some sort pleadeth thy pardon and couldest thou with any reasonable temperance aduise thiselfe in time as it is high time to assuage thy stomachous and ouerlashing outrage there be fewe wise men of qualitie but would pittie thy rash proceeding and impute thy wanton seurrilous Veine to want of Experience and Iudgement which is seldome ripe in the Spring I will not stand to examine the Spirite that speaketh or endighteth in such a phrase but if that were the tenour of a godly or zealous stile methinkes some other Sainct or godly man should someway haue vsed the like elocution before vnlesse you meant to be as singular in your forme of writing as in your manner of censuring to publish as graue an Innouation in wordes as in other matters Some spirituall motion it was that caused you so sensiblie to applie your rufling speach and whole method to the feeding and tickling of that humour that is none of the greatest studentes of Diuinitie vnlesse it be your Diuinitie nor any of the likelyest creatures to aduaunce Reformation vnlesse it be your Reformation But whatsoeuer your motion were or howsoeuer you perfuaded yourselfe that a plausible and roisterly course would winne the harts of good fellowes and make ruffians become Precisians in hope to mount higher then Highgate by the fall of Bishopfgate some of your well willers hold a certaine charitable opinioÌ„ that to reforme yourselfe were your best ReformatioÌ„ Good Discipline would doe many good and doe Martin no harme had he leysure from trainyng of other to trayne himselfe and as one termed it to trimme his owne beard Howbeit in my Method Knowledge would go before Practise and Doctrine before Discipline I challenge 〈◊〉 or none for learning which I rather looue as my 〈◊〉 or 〈◊〉 as my Patron then professe as my Facultie but some approoued good Schollars of both Vniuersities and some honorable wisemen of a higher 〈◊〉 take 〈◊〉 to be none of the greatest Clarkes in England and 〈◊〉 how he should presume to be a Doctour of Discipline that hath much-adoe to shewe himselfe a Master of Doctrine For mine owne part I hope he is a better Doctrinist then Disciplinist or else I must needes 〈◊〉 Pride is a busie man and a deepet Counsellour of 〈◊〉 then of himselfe 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 become publique persons and may doe well in some other being well employed but 〈◊〉 persons and the common erewes of Platformers might haue most vse of priuate designements appropriat to their owne Vocation Profession or qualitie When I finde Martin as neat a reformer of his owne life as of other mens actâ—… it shal go hard but I wil in 〈◊〉 measure proportion my coÌ„mendation to the singularitie of his desert which I would be glad to crowne with a garland of present and a diademe of future prayse For I long to see a 〈◊〉 without a creast and would 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 to 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 without a fault or onely with such a fault as for the 〈◊〉 should deserue or for the strangenesse might challenge to be Chronicled like the Eclipse of the Sunne The State Demonstratiue not ouerlaboured at 〈◊〉 would 〈◊〉 be employed in blasoning a creature of such perfections and the very soule of Charitie 〈◊〉 to drinke of that cleere Aqua Vitae It is not the first time that I haue preferred a Gentleman of deedes before a Lord of wordes and what if I once by way of familiar discourse sayd I was a Protestant in the Antecedent but a Papist in the Consequent for I liked Faith in the Premisses butwished works in the Conclusion as S. Paul beginneth with Iustification but endeth with Sanctification the Schoolemen reconcile many Confutations in one distinction We are iustified by Faith apprehensiuely by Workes declaratiuely by the bloud of Christ effectiuely I hope it is no euillsigne for the flower to floorish for the tree to fructifie for the fier to warme for the Sunne to shine for Truth to embrace Vertue for the Intellectuall good to practise the Morall good for the cause to effect He meant honestly that said merrily He tooke S. Austins S. Gregories by Pauls to be the good frendes of S. Faithes vnder Paules What needeth more If your Reformation be such a restoratiue as you pretende what letteth but the world should presently behold a Visible difference betweene the fruites of the pure and the corrupt diet Why ceaseth the heauenly Discipline to perme her owne Apologie not in one or two scribled Pamflets of counterfait Complements but in a thousand liuing Volumes of heauenly Vertues Diuine Causes were euer wont to fortifie themselues and weaken their aduersaries with diuine Effectes as conspicuous as the brightest Sunne-shine The Apostles and Primitiue founders of Churches were no railers or scoffers but painfull trauailers but Zelous Preachers but holly liuers but fayre-spoken mild and loouing men euen like Moses like Dauid like the sonne of Dauid the three gentlest 〈◊〉 that 〈◊〉 walked vpon Earth Wheresoeuer they became it appeared by the whole manner of their meeke and sweet proceeding that they had bene the seruants of a 〈◊〉 Lord and the Disciples of a sweet Master in 〈◊〉 that many 〈◊〉 which knew not God 〈◊〉 them as the 〈◊〉 or Oratours of some God and were 〈◊〉 persuaded to conceiue a diuine opinion of him whom they so diuinely Preached euen to beleeue that he could be no lesse then the sonne of the great God Their miracles got the harts of 〈◊〉 but then Sermons and 〈◊〉 were greater won ders then their miracles and woon more raulshed soules to heauen Then Doctrine was full of power their Discipline full of Charitie their Eloquence celestiall their Zeale 〈◊〉 their Life 〈◊〉 their Conuersation 〈◊〉 their Profession Humilitie their Practise 〈◊〉 their 〈◊〉 Humilitie Read the sweet 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 replenished with many cordiall narrations of their 〈◊〉 Vertues and peruse the most rigorous Censures of their professed enemies Plinie 〈◊〉 Tacitus Antoninus Symachus Lucian Libanius Philostratus Eunapius or any like Latinist or Grecian I except not Porphyrie Hierocles or Iulian himselfe and what Christian or heathen iudgement with any indifferencie can denie but they alwayes demeaned themselues like well-affected faire-conditioned innocent and kinde persons many wayes gratious and somewayes admirable Peace was them warre Vnitie their multiplication good wordes and good deedes their edifying instruments a generall humanitie toward all wheresoever they trauailed and
praysed the olde Asse giue the young Asse leaue to praise himselfe and to practise his minion Rhetorique vppon other There is no dealinge where there is no healinge To striue with dirt is filthy to play with edged tooles daungerous to trie masteries with a desperate aduersary hazardous to encounter Demosthenes Viper or Apolloes Basiliske deadly To intende your owne intentions with an inuiolable constancy and to leuell continually at your owne determined scope without respecte of extrauagant endes or cumbersome interruptions the best course of proceeding and onely firme cheerefull gallant and happy resolution Euery by-way that strayeth or gaddeth from that direct Path a wandring errour and a perillous or threatninge by-way a forrest of wilde beastes Hande touch not the ranckeling byle and throw-away the launcing instrument I could conceiue no lesse then thus and thus when I beganne first to surview that brauing Emprese and euer me thought Aut nunc aut nunquam seemed to prognosticate greate tempestes at hande and euen such valorous workes of Supererogation as woulde make an employed man of Florence or Venice to breake day with any other important businesse of state or traffique I went on on still and still loking for those presaged woondermentes thought it Platoes great yeare till I hadd runne-thorough the armed pikes and felte the whole dinte of the two vengeable vnlawfull weapons But I beleeue neuer poore man found his Imagination so hugely mocked as this cōfuting Iugler coosened my expectation without measure as if his whole drift had bene nothinge else but a pleasurable Comedy or a mad Stratagem like those of Bacchus and Pan queintlye deuised to defeate the opinion of his ◅edulous reader and to surprise simple minds with a most vnlikely euent A fine peece of conu◅lance in some pageantes and a braue deseigne in fi◅t place Arte knoweth the pageants and pollicy the place In ernest I expected nether an Oratour of the stewes nor a Poet of Bedlam nor a knight of the alehowse nor a qu◅an of the Cuckingstole nor a broker of baggage stuffe nor a pedler of straunge newes nor anye base trumperye or meane matters when Pierce should racke his witt and Penniles stretch-out his courage to the vttermost extent of his possibility But with out more circumlocution pryde hath a fall and as of A Catt so of Pierce himselfe howsoeuer inspired or enraged you can haue but his skinne puffed vp with winde and bumbasted with vanitye Euen when he stryueth for life to shewe himselfe brauest in the flaunt-aflaunt of his courage and when a man would verily beleeue he should nowe behold the stately personage of heroicall Eloquence face to face or see such an vnseene Frame of the miracles of Arte as might amaze the heauenly eye of Astronomy holla sir the sweete Spheres are not too-prodigall of their soueraine influences Pardon mee S. Fame What the first pang of his diuine Furie but notable Vanitie what the seconde fitte but woorthy vanitye what the thirde career but egregious vanity what the glory of his ruffian Rhetorique and curtisan Philosophy but excellent villany That that is Pierces Supererogation and were Penniles a person of any reckoning as he is a man of notorious fame that that perhaps in regarde of the outragious singularity might be supposed a Tragicall or Heroicall villany if euer any villany were so intituled The present consideration of which singularity occasioneth me to bethinke me of One that this other day very soberlie commended some extraordinary giftes in Nashe and when he had grauesie maintayned that in the resolution of his conscience he was such a fellowe as some wayes had few fellowes at last concluded somewhat more roundly Well my maisters you may talke your pleasures of Tom Nash who yet sleepeth secure not without preiudice to some that might be more ielous of their name but assure your selues if M. Pen◅iles had not bene deepely plunged in a profound exstasic of kna◅ery M. Pierce had neuer written that famous worke of Super◅rogation that now stayneth all the bookes in Paules-churchyard and setteth both the vniuersites to schoole Till I see your finest humanitie bestow such a liber all exhibition of conceit and courage vpon your neatest wittes pardon me though I prefer one smart Pamster of knauery before ten blundring volumes of the nine Muses Dreaming and smoke amount alike Life is a gaming aiugling a scoulding a lawing a skirmishing a warre a Comedie a Tragedy the sturring witt a quintessence of quicksiluer and there is noe deade fleshe in affection or courage You may discourse of Hermes ascending spirit of Orpheus enchāting harpe of Homers diuine furie of Tyrtaeus enraging trumpet of Pericles bounsinge thunderclaps of Platos enthusiasticall rauishment and I wott not what maruelous egges in mooneshine but a flye for all your flying Speculations when one good fellow with his oddiestes or one madd knaue with his awke hibber-gibber is able to putt downe twentye of your smuggest artificiall men that simper it so nicely and coylie in their curious pointes Try whē you meane to be disgraced neuer giue me credit if Sanguine witt putt not Melancholy Arte to bedd I had almost said all the figures of Rhetorique must abate me an ace of Pierces Supererogation and Penniles hath a certayne nimble and climbinge reach of Inuention as good as a long pole and a hooke that neuer fayleth at a pinch It were vnnaturall as the sweete Emperour Marcus Antoninus said that the fig-tree should euer want iuice You that purpose with great sum◅es of ◅uddy candles to purchase the worshipfull names of Dunses Dodipoles may closely sitt or sokingly ly at your bookes but you that intende to be fine companionable gentlemen smirkinge wittes and whipsters in the world betake yee timely to the liuely practis of the minion profession and enure your Mercuriall fingers to frame semblable workes of Supererogation Certes other rules are fopperies and they that will seeke out the Archmistery of the busiest Modernistes shall find it nether more nor lesse then a certayne pragmaticall secret called Villany the verie science of sciences and the Familiar Spirit of Pierces Supererogation Coosen not your selues with the gay-nothings of children schollers no priuiti◅ of learning or inspiration of witt or reuelation of misteryes or Arte Notory counteruayleable with Pierces Supererogation which hauing none of them hath them all and can make them all Asses at his pleasure The Book-woorme was neuer but a pickgoose it is the Multiplying spirit not of the Alchimist but of the villanist that knocketh the naile one the head and spurreth cutt farther in a day then the quickest Artist in a weeke Whiles other are reading wryting conferring arguing discoursing experimēting platforminge musing buzzing or I know not what that is the spirrit that with a woondrous dexterity shapeth exquisite workes and atchicueth puissant exploites of Supererogation O my good frends as ye loue the sweete world or tender your deare selues be not vnmindfull what is good for the
a◅auncemente of your commendable partes All is nothing without advancement Though my experiēce be a Cipher in these causes yet hauing studiously perused the newe Arte-notory that is the foresaid Supererogation and hauing shaken so manie learned asses by the eares as it were by the hands I could say no lesse and might think more Something else was vttered the same time by the same Gentleman aswell concerning the present state of France which he termed the most vnchristian kingdome of the most christian kinge as touching certaine other newes of I wott not what dependence but my minde was running on my halfpeny and my head so full of the foresaid round discourse that my hand was neuer quyet vntill I had altered the tytle of this Pamphlet and newlie christened it Pierces Supererogation aswell in remembrance of the saide discourse as in honour of the appropriate vertues of Pierce himselfe who aboue all the writers that euer I knew shall go for my money where the currantest forgery impudency arrogancy phantasticalitie vanity and great store of little dicretion may go for payment and the filthiest corruption of abhominable villany passe vnlaunced His other miraculous perfections are still in abeyance and his monstrous excellencyes in the predicament of Chimera The birde of Arabia is longe in hatchinge and mightye workes of Supererogation are not plotted accomplished attonce It is pittie so hyperbolicall a conceite ouerhawty for the surmounting rage of Tasso in his furious angoy should be humbled with so diminitiue a witt base enough for Elderton and the riffe-raffe of the scribling rascality I haue heard of many disparagementes in felowship but neuer sawe so great Impudency married to so little witt or so huge presumption allyed to so petty performance I must not paint though hee dawbe Pontan decipher thy vauntinge Alopantius Ausimarchides a new and Terence display thy boastinge Thraso a new and Plautus addresse thy vain-glorious Pyrgopolinices anew heere is a bratt of Arrogancy a gosling of the Printing-house that can teach your braggardes to play their partes in the Printe of woonder to exploit redowtable workes of Supererogation such as neuer were atchieued in Latin or Greeke Which deferue to bee looked for with such a longing expectation as the Iewes looke for their kingly Messias or as I looke for Agrippas dreadfull Pyromachy for Cardans multiplied matter that shall delude the force of the Canon for Acontius perfect Arte of fortifieng little townes against the greatest Battery for the Iliades of all Courtly Stratagems that Antony Riccobonus magnifically promiseth for his vniuersall Repertory of all Histories contayning the memorable actes of all ages all places and all persons for the new Calepine of all learned and vulgar languages written or spoken whereof a loud rumour was lately published at Basill for a generall Pandectes of the Lawes and statutes of all nations and commonwealthes in the worlde largely promised by Doctor Peter Gregorius but compendiously perfourmed in his Syntagma Iuris vniuersi for sundry such famous volumes of hugy miracles in the cloudes Do not such Arch-woondermentes of supernaturall furniture deserue arch-expectation What should the Sonnes of Arte dreame of the Philosophers Stone that like Midas turneth into golde whatsoeuer it toucheth or of the soueraine and diuine Quintessence that like Esculapius restoreth health to sicknesse like Medea youth to Olde-age like Apollor◅us life to Death No Philosophers Stone or souraine Quintessence howsoeuer preciously precious equiualent to such diuine woorkes of supererogation O high-minded Pierce hadd the traine of your woordes and sentences bene aunswearable to the retinue of your bragges and threates or the robes of your apparaunce in person suteable to the weedes of your ostentation in tearmes I would surely haue beene the first that should haue proclaimed you the most-singuler Secretary of this language the heauenliest creature vnder the Spheres Sweete M. Ascham that was a flowing spring of humanity and worthy Sir Phillip Sidney that was a florishing spring of nobi lity must haue pardoned me I would directly haue discharged my conscience But you must giue plaine men leaue to vtter their opinion without courtinge I honor high heads that stand vpon low feet haue no great affection to the gay fellowes that build vp with their clābring hartes and pull downe with their vntoward hands Giue me the man that is meeke in spirit lofty in zeale simple in presumption gallant in endeuour poore in profession riche in performance Some such I knowe and all such I value highly They glory not of the golden Stone or the youthfull Quintessence but Industrie is their goulden Stone Action thier youthfull Quintessence and Valour their diuine worke of Supererogation Euerye one may thinke as he listeth speake as he findeth occasion but in my fancy they are simply the simplest fellows of al other that boast they will exploite miracles come short in ordinarie reckonings Great matters are no woonders when they are menaced or promised with big othes and small thinges are maruels when they are not expected or suspected I wondred to heare that Kelly had gotten the Golden Fliece and by vertue therof was sodenly aduaunced into so honorable reputation with the Emperours maiestye but would haue woondred more to haue seene a woorke of Supererogation from Nashe whose witt must not enter the listes of comparison with Kellyes Alchimy howsoeuer he would seeme to haue the Greene Lion and the Flying Eagle in a boxe But Kelly will bidd him looke to the swolne Toade the daunsing Foole. Kelly knoweth his L◅tum Sapientiae and vseth his termes of Arte. Silence is a great misterye and lowde wordes but a Coweherds horne He that breedeth mountaynes of hope and with much adoe begetteth a molehill shall I tell him a newe tale in ould Inglishe beginneth like a mightie Oxe endeth like a sory Asse To atchieue it without ostentation is a notable prayse but to vaunt it without atcheuement or to threaten it without effecte is but a dubble proofe of a simple witt Execution sheweth the hability of the man presumption bewraieth the vanitie of the mind The Sunne sayth not I will thus and thus displaye my glorious beames but shineth indeede the springe braggeth not of gallant flowers but florisheth indeede the Haruest boasteth not of plentifull fruit but fructifieth in deede Aesops fellowes being asked what they could doe answered they could doe any thing but Aesope making a small showe coulde doe much indeede the Greeke Sophisters knowing nothinge in comparison knowledge is a dry water professed a skill in all thinges but Socrates knowing in a manner all things Socrates was a springing rocke professed a skill in nothinge Lullius and his sectaryes haue the signet of Hermes and the admirable Arte of disputinge infinitly de omni scibili but Agrippa one of the vniuersallest schollars that Europe hath yeelded and such a one as some learned men of Germany France Italie intituled The Omniscious Doctour Socraticallie declameth against the vanitye of