evil_a but_o as_o he_o be_v israel_n so_o his_o day_n be_v many_o and_o good_a he_o have_v two_o name_n jacob_n and_o israel_n genesis_n 49.1_o 2._o both_o give_v he_o from_o his_o wrestle_a the_o farmer_n name_n be_v give_v he_o for_o wrestle_v with_o his_o brother_n for_o the_o birthright_n in_o the_o womb_n wherein_o he_o miscarry_v but_o the_o latter_a for_o his_o wrestle_a with_o his_o god_n for_o the_o blessing_n at_o penuel_n wherein_o his_o valour_n through_o divine_a condescension_n obtain_v the_o victory_n when_o the_o messiah_n see_v jacob_n undaunted_a courage_n in_o resolute_o detain_v he_o ask_v he_o his_o name_n gen._n 32.24_o 26_o 27._o as_o if_o he_o shall_v say_v thou_o be_v such_o a_o fellow_n as_o i_o never_o meet_v with_o who_o though_o thou_o be_v lame_v and_o lay_v hard_o at_o yet_o will_v not_o let_v i_o go_v without_o my_o blessing_n thou_o have_v let_v thy_o flock_n go_v and_o thy_o herd_n go_v thou_o have_v let_v thy_o wife_n go_v and_o thy_o child_n go_v yet_o thou_o will_v not_o let_v i_o go_v nor_o my_o blessing_n go_v i_o will_v not_o let_v thou_o go_v except_o thou_o bless_v i_o say_v jacob_n v._o 26._o hereupon_o he_o honour_n he_o as_o it_o be_v with_o the_o honour_n of_o knighthood_n say_v to_o he_o kneel_v down_n jacob_n rise_v up_o israel_n for_o as_o a_o prince_n thou_o have_v have_v power_n with_o god_n and_o with_o man_n and_o have_v prevail_v gen._n 32.28_o hos_fw-la 12.3_o 4._o now_o jacob_n be_v a_o name_n of_o weakness_n the_o poor_a worm_n jacob_n isa_n 41.14_o trample_v upon_o and_o tread_v under_o foot_n this_o afflict_a state_n make_v jacob_n sigh_v out_o those_o sad_a word_n all_o these_o thing_n be_v against_o i_o gen._n 42.36_o and_o those_o of_o my_o text_n also_o few_n and_o evil_n have_v the_o day_n of_o the_o year_n of_o my_o life_n be_v but_o so_o far_o as_o he_o have_v princely_a power_n as_o israel_n signify_v both_o with_o god_n and_o with_o man_n in_o this_o sense_n his_o day_n be_v many_o and_o good_a one_o day_n with_o god_n be_v a_o thousand_o elsewhere_o use_v hence_o learn_v we_o the_o reason_n why_o the_o church_n be_v call_v jacob_n through_o out_o the_o scripture_n when_o speech_n be_v of_o her_o weakness_n and_o calamity_n but_o she_o be_v frequent_o call_v israel_n to_o signify_v her_o splendour_n and_o glory_n and_o as_o it_o be_v thus_o with_o the_o church_n of_o god_n in_o general_n so_o it_o be_v with_o the_o child_n of_o god_n in_o particular_a some_o time_n they_o be_v run_v down_o with_o strange_a temptation_n and_o with_o strong_a tribulation_n then_o be_v they_o the_o poor_a worm_n jocob_n isa_n 41.14_o the_o shulamite_n find_v two_o army_n warring_n in_o she_o the_o army_n of_o the_o flesh_n and_o the_o army_n of_o the_o spirit_n cant._n 6.13_o when_o the_o army_n of_o the_o flesh_n or_o amalek_n prevail_v as_o exod._n 17.11_o then_o the_o seed_n of_o jocob_n droop_v but_o when_o they_o be_v make_v strong_a in_o their_o weakness_n 2_o cor._n 12.9_o strengthen_v with_o all_o may_v col._n 1.11_o and_o make_v able_a through_o the_o supply_n of_o christ_n spirit_n phil._n 1.19_o to_o tread_v down_o strength_n as_o judg._n 5.21_o even_o the_o strong_a temptation_n without_o then_o be_v they_o call_v the_o israel_n of_o god_n gal._n 6.16_o for_o their_o princelike_a prevail_a over_o flesh_n world_n and_o devil_n iii_o observation_n from_o the_o circumstance_n of_o the_o text._n the_o three_o observation_n arise_v from_o the_o conjunction_n of_o these_o two_o part_n this_o question_n and_o the_o answer_n to_o it_o which_o be_v it_o be_v a_o duty_n incumbent_n upon_o all_o mankind_n to_o be_v ask_v and_o answer_v how_o the_o day_n of_o the_o year_n of_o their_o life_n do_v pass_v away_o it_o be_v moses_n prayer_n lord_n teach_v we_o to_o number_v our_o day_n that_o we_o may_v apply_v our_o heart_n unto_o wisdom_n psalâ—_n 90.12_o in_o which_o psalm_n it_o be_v â—_o meditation_n of_o man_n mortality_n correspond_v with_o my_o text_n therefore_o mark_v 1._o moses_n mention_n the_o brevity_n and_o uncertainty_n of_o man_n life_n compare_v it_o to_o a_o watch_n v._o 4._o which_o be_v but_o the_o four_o part_n of_o a_o night_n mark_n 13.35_o then_o he_o go_v on_o and_o compare_v it_o to_o a_o sleep_n to_o a_o dream_n all_o vanish_v thing_n and_o to_o a_o tale_n that_o be_v soon_o tell_v and_o be_v as_o soon_o forget_v last_o to_o grass_n which_o we_o well_o know_v if_o it_o be_v not_o cut_v down_o in_o summer_n or_o autumn_n do_v wither_v in_o winter_n so_o such_o mortal_n as_o be_v not_o cut_v down_o with_o the_o scythe_n of_o death_n in_o their_o youth_n do_v yet_o wither_v away_o in_o the_o winter_n of_o old_a age._n quid_fw-la est_fw-la vita_fw-la nisi_fw-la quidam_fw-la cursus_fw-la ad_fw-la mortem_fw-la say_v the_o ancient_a father_n life_n be_v nothing_o but_o a_o post_v to_o death_n the_o second_o occurrence_n in_o this_o meditation_n of_o moses_n upon_o man_n morality_n be_v his_o assign_v the_o proper_a procure_a cause_n of_o this_o humane_a misery_n to_o wit_n divine_a displeasure_n â—gainst_a sin_n which_o cause_v god_n to_o â—urn_v man_n to_o destruction_n ver_fw-la 7_o 8._o man_n at_o the_o first_o be_v make_v immortal_a he_o have_v then_o a_o immortal_a body_n a_o suitable_a companion_n for_o his_o immortal_a soul_n these_o two_o sweet_a associate_n have_v never_o be_v sever_v each_o from_o other_o if_o man_n have_v not_o sin_v against_o his_o maker_n have_v adam_n stand_v on_o his_o state_n of_o innocency_n he_o shall_v then_o have_v render_v to_o the_o lord_n a_o time_n of_o perfect_a obedience_n and_o service_n here_o upon_o earth_n and_o when_o that_o homage_n to_o his_o great_a landlord_n have_v be_v accomplish_v he_o shall_v then_o have_v be_v translate_v from_o earth_n without_o the_o least_o taste_n of_o death_n to_o heaven_n the_o soul_n shall_v never_o have_v be_v separate_v from_o the_o body_n as_o now_o it_o be_v for_o the_o wage_n of_o sin_n be_v death_n rom._n 6.23_o it_o be_v that_o one_o man_n offence_n that_o pull_v up_o the_o sluice_n and_o let_v in_o death_n as_o a_o deluge_n with_o a_o regal_a authority_n over_o all_o the_o world_n rom._n 5.14_o to_o 17._o and_o sin_n do_v not_o only_o let_v in_o death_n but_o also_o all_o sort_n of_o sickness_n sorrow_n and_o suffering_n that_o be_v forerunner_n of_o it_o then_o 3_o moses_n condemn_v man_n dulness_n in_o take_v no_o more_o notice_n of_o this_o divine_a displeasure_n ver_fw-la 11._o all_o other_o creature_n know_v their_o time_n and_o their_o season_n jerem._n 8.7_o but_o man_n know_v not_o the_o day_n of_o his_o visitation_n till_o he_o come_v to_o be_v snare_v in_o a_o evil_a net_n etc._n etc._n eccles_n 9.12_o though_o man_n life_n be_v a_o life_n full_a of_o all_o inconvenience_n of_o indignity_n of_o injury_n of_o infirmity_n and_o of_o iniquity_n also_o yet_o such_o be_v the_o stupidity_n of_o the_o fall_v nature_n that_o man_n put_v the_o thought_n of_o these_o thing_n far_o from_o he_o amos_n 6.3_o four_o hereupon_o moses_n beg_v god_n for_o illuminate_v grace_n wherewith_o to_o make_v a_o more_o distinct_a discovery_n of_o all_o humane_a frailty_n lord_n teach_v which_o to_o number_v our_o day_n etc._n etc._n ver_fw-la 12._o and_o the_o sweet-singer_n of_o israel_n david_n will_v be_v of_o the_o same_o chorus_n with_o moses_n sigh_v as_o well_o as_o sing_v out_o these_o synonimical_a sentence_n lord_n make_v i_o â—o_o know_v my_o end_n and_o the_o measure_n of_o my_o day_n what_o it_o be_v that_o i_o may_v know_v how_o frail_a i_o be_o etc._n etc._n psal_n 39.4_o 5._o thus_o likewise_o jacob_n in_o my_o text_n carry_v on_o the_o like_a concord_n and_o consort_n to_o complete_a the_o harmony_n complain_v here_o few_n and_o evil_a have_v the_o day_n of_o the_o year_n of_o my_o life_n be_v etc._n etc._n add_v only_o this_o one_o note_n of_o discord_n for_o make_v better_a music_n that_o god_n have_v teach_v he_o this_o great_a truth_n concern_v his_o own_o frailty_n he_o have_v see_v it_o for_o time_n past_a and_o he_o will_v be_v sensible_a of_o it_o for_o time_n to_o come_v his_o day_n have_v be_v few_o and_o evil_a now_o they_o may_v be_v few_o and_o worse_o see_v he_o and_o all_o his_o be_v famish_v out_o of_o canaan_n the_o land_n of_o promise_n into_o egypt_n the_o place_n where_o his_o posterity_n will_v be_v evil_o entreat_v gen._n 15.13_o use_v moses_n teach_v we_o what_o use_n to_o make_v of_o the_o knowledge_n of_o our_o own_o frailty_n it_o shall_v strong_o stir_v we_o up_o to_o a_o earnest_n implore_v of_o divine_a mercy_n he_o make_v a_o loud_a out_o cry_v after_o mercy_n cry_v return_v o_fw-la lord_n how_o long_o etc._n etc._n oh_o satisfy_v we_o early_o with_o thy_o mercy_n
word_n with_o he_o for_o his_o promise_n be_v but_o with_o the_o silver_n of_o this_o life_n but_o his_o payment_n be_v with_o the_o gold_n of_o a_o better_a life_n solon_n say_v 〈◊〉_d 〈◊〉_d 〈◊〉_d 〈◊〉_d 〈◊〉_d who_o god_n love_v dye_v young_a he_o be_v take_v away_o from_o the_o evil_a to_o come_v 2_o king_n 22.20_o isa_n 57.1_o he_o have_v live_v long_o enough_o that_o can_v say_v not_o i_o have_v marry_v my_o child_n to_o good_a husband_n as_o worldling_n say_v but_o i_o have_v marry_v my_o precious_a soul_n to_o the_o bless_a bridegroom_n this_o be_v his_o joy_n yet_o can_v be_v content_a to_o pass_v out_o of_o the_o midst_n of_o this_o joy_n on_o earth_n to_o possess_v a_o better_a and_o great_a iâ—_n heaven_n and_o o_o that_o we_o may_v enter_v into_o our_o master_n joy_n as_o he_o have_v do_v as_o a_o post_n that_o have_v deliver_v his_o packet_n to_o god_n a_o ship_n that_o be_v lay_v up_o in_o the_o haven_n of_o heaven_n &_o a_o eagle_n now_o feed_v on_o the_o carcase_n of_o christ_n finis_fw-la a_o brief_a relation_n of_o the_o first_o conversion_n and_o after_o that_o of_o the_o whole_a conversation_n of_o that_o precious_a young_a man_n mr._n john_n draper_n draw_v out_o of_o his_o experience_n exercise_n examination_n of_o himself_o and_o his_o evidence_n for_o heaven_n all_o writ_n with_o his_o own_o hand_n in_o character_n etc._n etc._n chap._n i._n have_v diligent_o peruse_v what_o a_o prodigious_a account_n he_o give_v of_o himself_o with_o â—is_n own_o handwriting_n i_o can_v not_o but_o stand_v astonish_v that_o one_o so_o young_a and_o a_o servant_n too_o and_o who_o have_v so_o much_o business_n on_o earth_n in_o his_o master_n service_n shall_v redeem_v so_o much_o time_n to_o make_v religion_n his_o business_n in_o serve_v his_o great_a master_n christ_n and_o in_o secure_v heaven_n for_o his_o soul_n though_o it_o seem_v almost_o incredible_a yet_o it_o be_v most_o certain_o true_a that_o he_o mellow_a much_o and_o ripen_v fast_o for_o abraham_n bosom_n as_o appear_v by_o the_o sequel_n this_o holy_a young_a man_n may_v be_v a_o very_a eminent_a pattern_n of_o piety_n to_o old_a as_o well_o as_o young_a man_n in_o a_o fourfold_a respect_n 1._o for_o his_o experience_n 2._o for_o his_o exercise_n 3._o for_o his_o self-examination_n and_o 4._o for_o his_o excellent_a character_n and_o evidence_n of_o his_o interest_n in_o a_o better_a world_n all_o which_o i_o find_v very_o strenuous_o state_v in_o his_o own_o handwriting_n though_o in_o character_n yet_o by_o the_o help_n of_o a_o key_n be_v make_v both_o legible_a and_o intelligible_a and_o now_o publish_v for_o public_a good_a i._o for_o his_o experience_n they_o fall_v under_o a_o twofold_a head_n the_o former_a relate_v to_o his_o first_o conversion_n and_o the_o latter_a to_o his_o whole_a conversation_n his_o conversion_n i_o understand_v be_v effectual_o wrought_v notwithstanding_o his_o strict_a and_o religious_a education_n and_o former_a conviction_n hereafter_o mention_v etc._n etc._n by_o a_o sermon_n preach_v from_o matth._n 5.25_o 26._o agree_v with_o thy_o adversary_n quick_o while_o thou_o be_v in_o the_o way_n etc._n etc._n about_o december_n the_o 8_o 1678._o from_o whence_o he_o learn_v those_o bless_a truth_n follow_v and_o not_o only_o have_v they_o fix_v upon_o his_o heart_n and_o seal_v upon_o his_o soul_n but_o also_o i_o find_v his_o own_o soul_n fix_v in_o wax_n upon_o they_o to_o express_v the_o great_a veneration_n of_o they_o for_o their_o be_v so_o ravish_v and_o refresh_v in_o the_o hand_n of_o christ_n to_o his_o spirit_n the_o great_a truth_n that_o have_v a_o abide_a work_n upon_o his_o heart_n when_o this_o time_n of_o love_n come_v upon_o he_o be_v these_o i._o that_o god_n and_o man_n be_v at_o variance_n through_o sin_n they_o be_v at_o a_o distance_n ii_o it_o be_v man_n wisdom_n to_o make_v his_o peace_n with_o god_n his_o adversary_n iii_o this_o must_v be_v do_v quick_o while_o man_n be_v in_o his_o way_n before_o he_o be_v bring_v to_o the_o judge_n house_n by_o death_n etc._n etc._n iv_o there_o be_v great_a danger_n in_o delay_v or_o defer_v this_o agreement_n but_o sinner_n shall_v take_v up_o with_o god_n before_o it_o be_v too_o late_a etc._n etc._n v._o that_o god_n have_v a_o action_n of_o debt_n for_o which_o to_o arrest_v every_o sinner_n etc._n etc._n vi_o this_o debt_n of_o sin_n be_v strange_o circumstance_v 1._o it_o be_v a_o hereditary_a 2_o a_o universal_a debt_n both_o every_o man_n be_v bear_v in_o this_o debt_n and_o no_o man_n live_v be_v exempt_v from_o it_o 3._o it_o be_v a_o increase_a and_o a_o grow_a debt_n the_o long_a it_o run_v on_o in_o a_o man_n life_n etc._n etc._n 4._o it_o be_v a_o infinite_a debt_n and_o therefore_o insoluble_a it_o can_v be_v pay_v etc._n etc._n no_o finite_a creature_n can_v ever_o pay_v this_o infinite_a debt_n to_o the_o infinite_a creator_n those_o bless_a truth_n the_o lord_n speak_v with_o a_o strong_a hand_n as_o isa_n 8.11_o to_o this_o young_a man_n heart_n and_o make_v he_o consider_v first_o that_o till_o this_o agreement_n be_v make_v my_o god_n be_v my_o adversary_n and_o i_o have_v better_o have_v all_o the_o world_n my_o enemy_n the_o maker_n of_o the_o world_n who_o if_o a_o friend_n can_v make_v my_o enemy_n friend_n etc._n etc._n second_o i_o can_v stand_v it_o out_o with_o the_o great_a god_n who_o will_v burn_v up_o those_o briar_n that_o set_v themselves_o against_o he_o isa_n 27.4_o three_o it_o be_v no_o frivolous_a thing_n to_o be_v do_v or_o undo_v but_o it_o be_v a_o matter_n of_o great_a moment_n eternal_a weal_n and_o woe_n hang_v upon_o it_o etc._n etc._n four_o i_o must_v agree_v etc._n etc._n because_o there_o be_v no_o other_o way_n in_o all_o the_o world_n to_o take_v up_o this_o prodigious_a debt_n but_o by_o agreement_n etc._n etc._n five_o it_o will_v not_o always_o be_v my_o privilege_n to_o make_v a_o agreement_n time_n will_v not_o last_v always_o for_o take_v up_o the_o controversy_n for_o when_o death_n come_v than_o it_o be_v to_o late_a etc._n etc._n six_o if_o my_o cause_n come_v before_o the_o righteous_a judge_n i_o be_o sure_a to_o be_v cast_v because_o it_o be_v a_o bad_a cause_n and_o that_o judge_n will_v not_o be_v bribe_v with_o any_o thing_n in_o the_o day_n of_o judgement_n seven_o it_o i_o be_v cast_v in_o my_o cause_n i_o shall_v be_v deliver_v up_o by_o the_o judge_n to_o god_n gaoler_n and_o executioner_n to_o wit_n the_o devil_n eight_o if_o i_o be_v deliver_v over_o to_o god_n officer_n of_o justice_n he_o will_v cast_v i_o into_o prison_n that_o be_v drag_v i_o into_o hell_n nine_o if_o once_o i_o be_v cast_v into_o the_o prison_n of_o hell_n there_o must_v i_o lie_v till_o i_o have_v pay_v the_o uttermost_a farthing_n which_o can_v never_o be_v do_v i_o must_v be_v always_o pay_v the_o debt_n yet_o never_o have_v pay_v it_o by_o these_o soul-awaking_a consideration_n the_o lord_n help_v he_o through_o his_o grace_n to_o conclude_v with_o himself_o that_o it_o be_v the_o high_a wisdom_n in_o the_o world_n to_o agree_v quick_o with_o god_n his_o adversary_n as_o he_o be_v a_o child_n of_o wrath_n by_o nature_n eph._n 2.3_o and_o it_o will_v be_v the_o most_o sublime_a folly_n for_o he_o any_o long_a to_o defer_v it_o etc._n etc._n hereupon_o the_o lord_n have_v thus_o open_v his_o eye_n touch_v his_o heart_n and_o break_v down_o window_n into_o his_o dark_a soul_n upon_o further_a inquiry_n he_o learn_v that_o this_o vast_a debt_n he_o be_v owe_v to_o divine_a justice_n no_o less_o than_o ten_o thousand_o talent_n mat._n 18.24_o which_o be_v no_o less_o than_o a_o king_n ransom_n can_v never_o be_v compound_v for_o this_o just_a judge_n will_v have_v either_o all_o or_o none_o and_o till_o a_o agreement_n be_v make_v god_n be_v a_o angry_a adversasary_n and_o better_o i_o shall_v anger_v all_o the_o witch_n in_o the_o world_n and_o all_o the_o devil_n in_o hell_n than_o anger_n the_o great_a god_n i_o must_v agree_v with_o he_o then_o the_o inquiry_n be_v make_v how_o this_o may_v be_v do_v the_o answer_n be_v there_o be_v something_o lay_v on_o god_n part_n and_o something_o on_o you_o that_o on_o god_n part_n be_v 1._o to_o find_v a_o arbitrator_n or_o days-man_n one_o more_o than_o a_o man_n for_o what_o can_v a_o mere_a man_n do_v with_o a_o angry_a god_n 2._o god_n find_v a_o ransom_n a_o surety_n to_o satisfy_v the_o debt_n with_o the_o travel_n of_o his_o soul_n job_n 33.24_o heb._n 7.22_o and_o isa_n 53.11_o 3._o god_n make_v the_o sinner_n heart_n wilâ—ing_v to_o accept_v of_o this_o way_n of_o agreement_n phil_n 2.13_o that_o which_o â—ays_v on_o man_n part_n be_v two_o
what_o we_o come_v for_o i_o go_v to_o he_o and_o tell_v he_o methinks_v that_o my_o soul_n love_v he_o and_o i_o be_v come_v to_o meet_v he_o for_o strength_n against_o corruption_n and_o by_o his_o help_n i_o can_v forsake_v the_o world_n and_o sin_n which_o i_o hate_v to_o enjoy_v he_o etc._n etc._n then_o he_o tell_v i_o my_o pride_n shall_v not_o prevail_v against_o i_o this_o month_n nor_o my_o other_o sin_n but_o by_o own_o neglect_n this_o be_v sweet_a and_o refresh_n to_o my_o soul_n and_o this_o be_v the_o occasion_n of_o the_o devil_n great_a rage_n against_o i_o as_o appear_v by_o my_o diary_n march_v 14._o yet_o can_v he_o not_o prevail_v but_o christ_n keep_v his_o promise_n in_o keep_v i_o from_o pride_n etc._n etc._n oh_o what_o cause_n have_v i_o to_o love_v the_o lord_n jesus_n who_o i_o see_v here_o again_o come_v from_o heaven_n to_o earth_n to_o the_o cross_n to_o the_o grave_a and_o to_o heaven_n again_o and_o all_o this_o to_o save_v my_o soul_n here_o sin_n be_v make_v more_o odious_a christ_n more_o dear_a and_o here_o i_o renew_v my_o covenant_n with_o god_n etc._n etc._n the_o nine_o sacrament_n be_v april_n the_o second_o 1682._o upon_o which_o he_o say_v thus_o some_o time_n before_o this_o i_o be_v in_o a_o dull_a frame_n by_o the_o hurry_v of_o our_o trade_n at_o this_o time_n as_o may_v be_v see_v by_o my_o diary_n little_a life_n can_v i_o find_v till_o the_o noon_n before_o that_o day_n than_o have_v i_o the_o presence_n of_o my_o dear_a lord_n in_o a_o lively_a manner_n and_o measure_n after_o this_o wander_a thought_n dulness_n and_o coldness_n unsuitable_a to_o so_o sweet_a a_o supper_n seize_v upon_o i_o but_o by_o run_v over_o again_o the_o same_o circumstance_n of_o my_o saviour_n suffering_n especial_o his_o agony_n in_o the_o garden_n and_o all_o for_o such_o a_o wretch_n as_o i_o i_o find_v relief_n get_v hatred_n of_o my_o sin_n beg_v pardon_n of_o they_o and_o not_o only_o so_o but_o get_v power_n against_o they_o yet_o wander_a thought_n 4_o or_o 5_o time_n do_v trouble_v i_o but_o by_o christ_n strengthen_v i_o i_o overcome_v they_o and_o hope_v to_o have_v my_o pardon_n seal_v and_o to_o have_v power_n for_o the_o future_a for_o watch_v better_a against_o they_o and_o against_o my_o deadness_n and_o break_v my_o covenant_n etc._n etc._n which_o make_v i_o long_o to_o quit_v the_o world_n whereupon_o it_o be_v answer_v i_o i_o shall_v short_o be_v free_v from_o all_o sin_n yet_o in_o this_o sacrament_n i_o have_v the_o least_o communion_n with_o god_n than_o in_o any_o before_o but_o still_o much_o more_o infinite_o more_o than_o i_o deserve_v who_o sure_a i_o be_o deserve_v not_o the_o least_o mercy_n the_o ten_o sacrament_n be_v may_n 7._o 1682._o upon_o which_o he_o write_v thus_o i_o have_v not_o long_a desire_n after_o this_o bless_a ordinance_n have_v lose_v much_o of_o my_o life_n i_o have_v in_o duty_n before_o through_o much_o hurry_v of_o our_o worldly_a affair_n this_o morning_n i_o wrestle_v with_o god_n but_o have_v not_o the_o light_n of_o his_o countenance_n which_o make_v i_o think_v of_o not_o go_v yet_o consider_v that_o be_v not_o the_o way_n to_o be_v better_a i_o venture_v but_o find_v no_o life_n at_o first_o yet_o a_o little_a after_o i_o feel_v some_o reach_v after_o my_o dear_a redeemer_n this_o make_v i_o resolve_v to_o walk_v more_o close_o for_o the_o future_a after_o this_o it_o please_v god_n to_o come_v in_o out_o of_o his_o free_a love_n and_o to_o give_v i_o a_o clear_a sight_n of_o my_o sweet_a saviour_n go_v to_o his_o cross_n and_o i_o follow_v he_o and_o lay_v myself_o down_o at_o his_o foot_n when_o i_o can_v do_v nothing_o then_o have_v i_o plain_a vision_n of_o my_o lovely_a lord_n ascension_n and_o his_o angel_n look_v upon_o he_o whereat_o i_o find_v much_o go_n out_o of_o my_o soul_n after_o he_o yet_o wander_v thought_n do_v trouble_v i_o for_o i_o have_v not_o bring_v my_o break_a covenant_n my_o dulness_n and_o deadness_n before_o the_o lord_n so_o as_o to_o be_v deep_o humble_v for_o they_o the_o eleven_o sacrament_n be_v june_n 4_o 1682._o upon_o which_o he_o he_o remark_n thus_o i_o have_v no_o time_n be_v very_o bad_a in_o my_o preparation_n for_o this_o bless_a sacrament_n so_o doubt_v whether_o i_o shall_v go_v to_o it_o but_o fear_v it_o may_v be_v the_o last_o i_o shall_v enjoy_v in_o peace_n i_o then_o go_v yet_o it_o prove_v the_o worst_a i_o ever_o yet_o have_v i_o hardly_o feel_v any_o moving_n of_o affection_n only_o a_o little_a mourning_n for_o my_o breach_n of_o covenant_n my_o coldness_n and_o deadness_n etc._n etc._n have_v a_o little_a sight_n of_o my_o dear_a redeemer_n but_o o_o my_o misery_n for_o not_o keep_v my_o engagement_n make_v in_o the_o forego_n ordinance_n whereby_o i_o fear_v the_o holy_a spirit_n be_v grieve_v and_o sin_v away_o o_o sad_a sad_a lamentable_a deplorable_a be_v my_o state_n when_o i_o have_v sin_v my_o god_n from_o i_o my_o condition_n be_v wretched_a now_o and_o without_o more_o care_n it_o may_v yet_o be_v much_o worse_o the_o twelve_o sacrament_n be_v on_o july_n second_o 1682._o whereupon_o he_o note_v thus_o i_o be_v but_o little_a in_o preparation_n in_o order_n to_o my_o participation_n of_o this_o holy_a ordinance_n yet_o much_o more_o than_o on_o the_o last_o on_o friday_n morning_n before_o i_o have_v much_o of_o god_n presence_n but_o because_o i_o have_v not_o take_v a_o catalogue_n of_o my_o sin_n and_o have_v break_v my_o vow_n with_o god_n it_o be_v just_a with_o he_o to_o hide_v his_o face_n from_o i_o and_z o_o my_o deadly_a sin_n get_v again_o too_o much_o advantage_n against_o i_o yet_o praise_v be_v the_o free_a grace_n of_o my_o god_n i_o have_v his_o presence_n in_o this_o ordinance_n and_o see_v my_o dear_a redeemer_n go_v along_o bear_v his_o heavy_a cross_n and_o his_o suffer_v thereupon_o and_o when_o his_o side_n be_v pierce_v methinks_v i_o stand_v under_o and_o his_o precious_a blood_n do_v drop_v down_o upon_o i_o but_o still_o i_o be_v too_o little_o grieve_v for_o sin_n and_o have_v 3._o time_n wander_n which_o through_o grace_n pass_v away_o as_o the_o wine_n go_v down_o i_o desire_v my_o sin_n may_v be_v purge_v away_o and_o renew_v my_o resolve_n of_o walk_v better_o both_o before_o and_o in_o this_o sacrament_n design_v to_o shelter_v my_o soul_n in_o the_o hole_n of_o his_o bless_a side_n that_o be_v pierce_v as_o the_o dove_n do_v in_o the_o hole_n of_o the_o rock_n the_o thirteen_o sacrament_n be_v august_n 6._o 1682._o on_o which_o he_o record_v thus_o the_o hurry_v of_o the_o world_n have_v make_v menegligent_a before_o it_o yet_o do_v i_o try_v myself_o by_o my_o catalogue_n of_o sin_n draw_v up_o in_o february_n before_o such_o as_o pride_n whereof_o i_o have_v a_o great_a deal_n breach_n of_o covenant_n whereof_o i_o be_v great_o guilty_a wander_n dullness_n in_o duty_n etc._n etc._n and_o then_o another_o great_a one_o the_o neglect_n of_o self_n trial_n after_o my_o vow_n &_o renew_a covenant_n to_o do_v it_o after_o sacrament_n wherein_o i_o have_v find_v much_o sweetness_n i_o can_v not_o still_o call_v myself_o to_o a_o strict_a account_n nor_o actuate_v my_o repentance_n as_o become_v a_o worthy_a receiver_n though_o my_o sin_n be_v many_o and_o great_a at_o my_o first_o sit_v down_o i_o have_v but_o little_a sense_n of_o sin_n but_o after_o god_n show_v i_o something_o of_o himself_o than_o have_v i_o some_o sorrow_n of_o soul_n and_o something_o of_o my_o dear_a lord_n but_o once_o god_n seem_v to_o come_v out_o in_o fury_n towards_o i_o yet_o methinks_v i_o see_v my_o dear_a redeemer_n stop_v it_o here_o again_o i_o lay_v under_o the_o cross_n to_o be_v wash_v from_o my_o sin_n and_o do_v see_v as_o before_o christ_n come_v from_o heaven_n to_o earth_n to_o hiâ—_n cross_n and_o to_o his_o grave_a and_o from_o thence_o into_o glory_n this_o i_o view_v with_o a_o little_a oh_o too_o little_a life_n than_o the_o devil_n tempt_v i_o to_o make_v no_o new_a engagement_n of_o reformation_n but_o the_o lord_n help_v i_o and_o i_o hearken_v not_o to_o the_o tempter_n about_o 4._o time_n wander_n come_v but_o through_o grace_n they_o continue_v not_o yet_o have_v i_o small_a act_n of_o love_n and_o out-going_n of_o soul_n after_o my_o god_n and_o my_o dear_a redeemer_n the_o fourteen_o sacrament_n be_v september_n 3._o 1682._o on_o which_o he_o observe_v thus_o i_o have_v but_o little_a of_o god_n some_o time_n before_o this_o till_o saturday_n night_n though_o i_o have_v be_v much_o in_o preparation_n yet_o my_o god_n come_v not_o in_o till_o then_o and_o indeed_o i_o
to_o the_o unconvert_v which_o through_o grace_n show_v i_o the_o necessity_n of_o my_o conversion_n yet_o all_o this_o time_n never_o consult_v with_o any_o man_n about_o my_o sin_n but_o only_o confess_v they_o to_o god_n till_o i_o meet_v with_o mr._n hooker_n soul_n preparation_n for_o christ_n which_o convince_v i_o to_o advise_v with_o some_o godly_a minister_n hereupon_o i_o do_v address_v to_o one_o though_o a_o stranger_n to_o he_o say_v sir_n i_o can_v i_o dare_v not_o any_o long_o refrain_v have_v ask_v myself_o what_o fitness_n i_o have_v to_o die_v be_v answer_v i_o be_v unfit_a till_o i_o have_v ease_v my_o heart_n to_o you_o as_o follow_v 1._o when_o i_o be_v 7._o year_n old_a i_o tear_v my_o bible_n and_o cast_v away_o my_o catechism_n 2._o i_o have_v break_v the_o sabbath_n by_o ramble_v abroad_o play_v at_o farthing_n with_o naughty_a boy_n and_o wash_v myself_o in_o the_o field_n when_o i_o shall_v have_v be_v at_o the_o church_n etc._n etc._n 3._o by_o excuse_v my_o sin_n with_o a_o lie_n so_o add_v one_o sin_n to_o another_o for_o cover_v it_o 4._o nor_o have_v i_o be_v free_a from_o youthful_a lust_n which_o young_a timothy_n be_v bid_v to_o flee_v but_o my_o corrupt_a heart_n have_v have_v working_n after_o the_o act_n several_a time_n yet_o have_v be_v wonderful_o prevent_v by_o the_o advice_n of_o my_o godly_a sister_n who_o lay_v before_o i_o christ_n word_n mat._n 5.28_o whoever_o look_v on_o a_o woman_n to_o lust_n after_o she_o etc._n etc._n however_o i_o be_o guilty_a of_o heart-adultry_n yea_o 5._o i_o have_v err_v and_o laugh_v when_o i_o have_v hear_v the_o word_n preach_v with_o power_n etc._n etc._n hereupon_o the_o good_a minister_n give_v i_o grave_a council_n and_o comfort_n suitable_a to_o my_o penitent_a case_n and_o condition_n yet_o notwithstane_v all_o this_o i_o be_v not_o effectual_o call_v nor_o thorough_o convert_v and_o make_v a_o new_a creature_n until_o afterward_o i_o hear_v that_o sermon_n upon_o mat._n 5.25_o 26._o as_o the_o account_n above_o mention_v specifi_v but_o alas_o in_o my_o apprenticeship_n through_o the_o hurry_v of_o the_o world_n in_o our_o way_n of_o trade_v especial_o in_o may_n and_o june_n etc._n etc._n i_o become_v negligent_a of_o my_o close_a walk_v with_o god_n not_o mind_v as_o i_o may_v to_o continue_v in_o his_o love_n when_o god_n my_o adversary_n be_v reconcile_v to_o i_o i_o neglect_v daily_o self-examination_n or_o do_v it_o only_o to_o half_a part_n be_v dull_a and_o sleepy_a through_o weariness_n with_o worldly_a work_n at_o night_n than_o my_o old_a corruption_n get_v head_n again_o upon_o i_o i_o break_v my_o covenant_n make_v at_o the_o agreement_n with_o my_o adversary_n and_o i_o apostatise_v from_o these_o sweet_a thought_n i_o former_o have_v upon_o my_o god_n and_o dear_a redeemer_n for_o which_o have_v he_o not_o be_v gracious_a i_o have_v be_v damn_v and_o rot_v in_o hell_n for_o ever_o this_o consideration_n make_v i_o exclaim_v against_o myself_o say_v o_o silly_a soul_n to_o heed_n a_o perish_a die_a world_n before_o heaven_n such_o sadness_n and_o darkness_n seize_v on_o i_o at_o this_o time_n when_o the_o thing_n of_o the_o world_n i_o find_v have_v be_v the_o substance_n of_o my_o thought_n and_o discourse_n that_o i_o know_v not_o what_o to_o do_v nor_o whither_o to_o go_v at_o last_o i_o turn_v to_o the_o lord_n and_o beg_v of_o he_o that_o he_o will_v not_o take_v the_o forfeiture_n nor_o suffer_v i_o to_o run_v this_o ready_a way_n to_o utter_v destruction_n i_o cry_v lord_n it_o be_v just_a with_o thou_o to_o hurl_v mein_fw-ge to_o hell_n and_o into_o the_o hot_a place_n thereof_o and_o never_o wait_v long_o upon_o such_o a_o cumber-ground_n as_o i_o be_o but_o to_o thou_o my_o dear_a redeemer_n do_v i_o run_v for_o refuge_n as_o one_o that_o be_o hungry_a and_o hardly_o bestead_v poor_a blind_a naked_a wretched_a and_o miserable_a a_o loathsome_a wretch_n unworthy_a to_o be_v call_v a_o servant_n much_o less_o a_o son_n have_v so_o wicked_o depart_v from_o my_o god_n yet_o through_o thou_o will_v i_o venture_v again_o to_o my_o god_n and_o by_o thy_o strength_n i_o will_v better_o mind_v my_o future_a walking_n o_o my_o dear_a redeemer_n i_o die_v without_o thou_o o_o come_v in_o once_o again_o and_o let_v i_o feel_v once_o more_o what_o it_o be_v to_o have_v christ_n dwell_v in_o my_o soul_n o_o find_v a_o time_n of_o love_n wherein_o to_o disperse_v those_o dark_a cloud_n and_o shine_v upon_o my_o dead_a and_o darken_v soul_n o_o have_v my_o night_n no_o day_n it_o be_v a_o hell_n to_o i_o to_o be_v thrust_v away_o from_o god_n i_o know_v the_o cause_n be_v all_o at_o home_n my_o sin_n my_o sin_n o_o let_v it_o be_v do_v away_o then_o shall_v i_o recover_v the_o light_n of_o thy_o countenance_n as_o former_o and_o in_o so_o do_v i_o do_v engage_v to_o amend_v my_o manner_n depend_v on_o thy_o help_n my_o hand_n be_v witness_n john_n draper_n now_o to_o bind_v his_o soul_n and_o slippery_a heart_n to_o god_n the_o better_a in_o observe_v this_o new_a engagement_n he_o write_v down_o many_o profitable_a rule_n in_o his_o pocket_n book_n as_o 1._o in_o a_o day_n of_o humiliation_n i_o must_v lay_v all_o my_o sin_n before_o the_o lord_n and_o resolve_n to_o forsake_v they_o 2._o i_o must_v look_v upon_o my_o sin_n of_o passion_n as_o a_o fever_n in_o my_o mind_n of_o lust_n as_o fire_n in_o my_o bone_n of_o pride_n as_o a_o fatal_a tympany_n in_o my_o soul_n of_o covetousness_n as_o a_o insatiable_a and_o unsufferable_a thirst_n and_o the_o sin_n of_o envy_n or_o malice_n as_o rank_a poison_n in_o the_o heart_n 3._o if_o i_o will_v run_v so_o as_o to_o obtain_v i_o must_v cast_v off_o all_o those_o weight_n or_o sin_n that_o do_v so_o easy_o beset_v i_o 4._o i_o must_v resolve_v to_o begin_v betimes_o the_o run_v of_o this_o race_n 5._o nor_o must_v i_o loiter_v in_o the_o way_n 6._o nor_o must_v i_o cumber_v myself_o with_o the_o needless_a encumbrance_n of_o the_o world_n 7._o i_o must_v look_v to_o every_o part_n of_o my_o way_n with_o equal_a care_n and_o observation_n 8._o nor_o must_v i_o ever_o think_v i_o have_v go_v far_o enough_o till_o i_o have_v obtain_v the_o prize_n 9_o and_o the_o further_o i_o have_v run_v in_o this_o race_n the_o more_o eager_a shall_v be_v to_o obtain_v the_o end_n 10._o i_o must_v always_o think_v that_o i_o be_o upon_o the_o brink_n of_o eternity_n and_o therefore_o shall_v give_v all_o diligence_n to_o make_v my_o call_n and_o election_n sure_a work_v out_o my_o salvation_n and_o make_v sure_a work_n for_o a_o better_a world_n before_o i_o go_v hence_o to_o be_v see_v no_o more_o 11._o i_o must_v ever_o come_v to_o god_n as_o to_o a_o soul-pittying_a a_o sin-pardoning_a and_o a_o prayer-hearing_a god_n 12._o i_o must_v be_v fervent_a in_o prayer_n yet_o submit_v to_o god_n soveraignâ—y_n 13._o occasion_n of_o be_v too_o â—ong_o alone_a be_v to_o be_v avoid_v so_o â—s_v strong_a drink_n and_o too_o full_a a_o diet_n 14._o i_o must_v be_v think_v oft_o death_n judgement_n hell_n and_o heaâ—en_n those_o four_o last_o thing_n 15._o i_o must_v not_o stretch_v my_o christian_a liberty_n too_o far_o for_o he_o that_o dare_v go_v so_o far_o as_o he_o think_v he_o may_v go_v sometime_o far_o than_o he_o shall_v etc._n etc._n 16._o i_o must_v bridle_v my_o tongue_n and_o not_o be_v too_o apt_a to_o speak_v of_o thing_n whereof_o i_o be_o not_o certain_a and_o much_o more_o to_o the_o same_o purpose_n both_o for_o particular_a and_o general_a instruction_n too_o long_o to_o insert_v here_o this_o holy_a youngman_n put_v down_o in_o his_o pocket_n book_n also_o how_o he_o have_v be_v exercise_v with_o temptation_n to_o sin_n as_o to_o theft_n adultery_n play_v at_o card_n and_o profane_v the_o sabbath_n etc._n etc._n as_o also_o with_o trial_n to_o prevent_v temptation_n instance_v that_o in_o a_o lash_n upon_o his_o eye_n with_o a_o coach-whip_n whereby_o the_o lord_n heal_v he_o of_o high_a lustful_a eye_n which_o have_v be_v too_o full_a of_o adultery_n 2._o pet._n 2.14_o chap._n iu._n now_o come_v we_o to_o the_o three_o head_n his_o examination_n of_o himself_o in_o the_o working_n of_o his_o heart_n relate_v to_o his_o communion_n with_o god_n it_o be_v not_o enough_o to_o this_o good_a soul_n to_o examine_v himself_o only_a when_o he_o be_v approach_v to_o the_o lord_n table_n on_o the_o lord_n day_n as_o be_v before_o specify_v but_o he_o look_v upon_o it_o as_o his_o duty_n to_o do_v it_o every_o day_n both_o every_o sabbath-day_n when_o there_o be_v no_o sacrament_n and_o every_o week_n day_n also_o make_v it_o his_o continual_a daily_a
in_o duty_n 17_o have_v like_a to_o have_v fall_v into_o passion_n but_o god_n disappoint_v it_o yet_o not_o much_o in_o holy_a ejaculation_n etc._n etc._n eighteen_o not_o up_o early_o have_v my_o former_a omission_n and_o commission_n the_o ninteenth_n twenty_v and_o twenty_o first_o yea_o to_o the_o end_n of_o april_n he_o arraigns_n himself_n as_o guilty_a of_o all_o those_o aforesaid_a crime_n then_o may_v 1_o 2_o 3_o 4_o 5_o 6._o complain_v of_o all_o those_o evil_n add_v that_o hurrey_n of_o his_o trade_n at_o this_o time_n do_v provoke_v he_o more_o to_o passion_n but_o sometime_o god_n help_v he_o to_o subdue_v it_o etc._n etc._n the_o 7._o be_v sabbath_n day_n sin_n set_v too_o light_a do_v not_o mourn_v for_o the_o sin_n of_o the_o land_n not_o enough_o in_o holy_a ejaculation_n nor_o in_o look_v into_o my_o own_o heart_n nor_o serious_o mind_v the_o word_n of_o god_n 8_o 9_o 10_o 11_o 12_o 13._o the_o same_o little_a life_n much_o dullness_n be_v weary_v with_o the_o hurry_v of_o the_o world_n 14_o frothy_a discourse_n with_o some_o delight_n o_o sin_n sin_n lay_v too_o light_a both_o i_o own_o and_o the_o land_n sin_n 15_o 16_o 17_o 18_o 19_o the_o same_o complaint_n 20._o neglect_v to_o read_v god_n word_n 21_o 22_o 23._o so_o on_o to_o the_o end_n of_o may_n he_o cry_v out_o i_o have_v do_v nothing_o for_o myself_o nor_o the_o church_n i_o have_v not_o be_v myself_o hardly_o know_v what_o i_o do_v through_o the_o hurry_v of_o the_o world_n o_o the_o world_n the_o world_n be_v a_o saâ—_n impediment_n to_o my_o soul_n god_n have_v not_o be_v in_o my_o mind_n heaven_n out_o of_o my_o sight_n i_o have_v not_o mourn_v for_o my_o own_o sin_n nor_o those_o of_o the_o land_n nor_o have_v holy_a ejaculation_n etc._n etc._n thus_o he_o say_v particular_o upon_o every_o day_n add_v thus_o i_o continue_v till_o the_o four_o of_o june_n be_v always_o weary_v with_o work_n and_o unfit_a for_o any_o good_a o_o it_o have_v be_v a_o sad_a time_n for_o my_o soul_n thus_o likewise_o i_o neglect_v till_o the_o 17_o of_o june_n on_o which_o i_o renew_v my_o covenant_n with_o god_n yet_o 18_o 19_o the_o same_o neglect_v prevail_v only_o on_o the_o 20._o i_o have_v some_o holy_a ejaculation_n but_o 21_o 22._o the_o same_o and_o 23._o i_o pray_v not_o over_o the_o sermon_n as_o i_o shall_v have_v do_v and_o omit_v all_o as_o before_o 24_o still_o pester_v with_o former_a neglect_n o_o sad_a sad_a that_o i_o shall_v be_v thus_o carry_v under_o grace_n thus_o he_o moan_n on_o 25_o 26._o and_o so_o on_o to_o the_o end_n of_o june_n on_o every_o day_n i_o have_v do_v little_a for_o the_o church_n or_o for_o my_o soul_n have_v not_o read_v god_n word_n sin_n sit_v too_o light_a not_o mourn_v for_o my_o own_o sin_n nor_o for_o the_o sin_n of_o the_o land_n heaven_n have_v be_v out_o of_o sight_n and_o god_n out_o of_o mind_n too_o little_o have_v i_o be_v in_o holy_a ejaculation_n with_o wander_n not_o oft_o look_v into_o my_o own_o heart_n etc._n etc._n july_n 1682._o from_o 1_o to_o 10._o he_o complain_v particular_o upon_o each_o day_n in_o the_o same_o word_n be_v too_o much_o wander_n in_o holy_a duty_n too_o little_a sense_n of_o sin_n upon_o my_o heart_n i_o have_v not_o mourn_v enough_o for_o my_o own_o sin_n nor_o for_o the_o sin_n of_o the_o land_n not_o much_o in_o ejaculation_n heaven_n too_o much_o out_o of_o sight_n etc._n etc._n sometime_o add_v i_o neglect_v read_v god_n word_n have_v do_v little_a for_o god_n church_n have_v not_o mind_v my_o soul_n nor_o god_n praise_n etc._n etc._n then_o conclude_v these_o ten_o day_n with_o this_o divine_a rapture_n o_fw-la this_o deadly_a thing_n sin_n have_v not_o due_o affect_v my_o heart_n into_o what_o a_o sad_a state_n be_v my_o soul_n fall_v o_o my_o god_n i_o beseech_v thou_o leave_v i_o not_o this_o same_o complaint_n concern_v those_o several_a omission_n he_o carry_v on_o against_o himself_o quite_o through_o july_n to_o the_o last_o day_n august_n 1682._o he_o make_v the_o same_o moan_n of_o the_o same_o neglect_v all_o along_o the_o month_n upon_o the_o head_n of_o every_o day_n of_o the_o four_o week_n distinct_o yet_o sometime_o add_v god_n help_v i_o on_o the_o 2_o of_o august_n against_o my_o deadly_a sin_n on_o the_o 6_o day_n be_v the_o sabbath_n i_o be_v less_o trouble_v with_o wander_n than_o i_o be_v the_o day_n after_o on_o the_o 8_o day_n i_o arise_v from_o supper_n without_o drop_v any_o savoury_a word_n at_o the_o table_n on_o the_o 11._o god_n keep_v i_o much_o from_o my_o sin_n this_o day_n on_o the_o 13._o i_o have_v much_o of_o god_n in_o my_o night_n prayer_n though_o the_o devil_n tell_v i_o i_o have_v not_o beg_v god_n presence_n my_o dear_a lord_n help_v i_o to_o repulse_v he_o with_o ease_n on_o the_o 16_o out_o of_o order_n all_o the_o day_n but_o at_o night_n god_n shine_v upon_o my_o soul_n more_o than_o a_o long_a time_n before_o but_o lose_v all_o the_o two_o follow_a day_n be_v hurry_v with_o cast_v up_o our_o shop_n go_v backward_o not_o forward_o on_o 19_o i_o feel_v my_o deadly_a sin_n crawl_v apace_o towards_o my_o heart_n which_o put_v i_o upon_o examination_n the_o 20._o day_n and_o find_v it_o not_o in_o vain_a to_o cast_v my_o burden_n upon_o the_o lord_n for_o i_o have_v thereby_o relief_n against_o my_o pride_n etc._n etc._n for_o which_o i_o have_v cry_v mighty_o to_o the_o lord_n my_o god_n after_o which_o i_o have_v sweet_a communion_n with_o god_n than_o the_o tempter_n strong_o tempt_v i_o to_o neglect_v hear_v and_o read_v the_o word_n but_o put_v up_o a_o ejaculation_n i_o have_v strength_n to_o overcome_v he_o again_o after_o hear_v a_o sermon_n i_o go_v down_o into_o the_o cellar_n to_o pray_v where_o the_o devil_n will_v affright_v i_o that_o something_o will_v appear_v which_o through_o the_o help_n of_o my_o dear_a redeemer_n i_o stout_o resist_v and_o bid_v satan_n defiance_n than_o he_o object_v against_o i_o my_o deadly_a sin_n which_o i_o can_v not_o but_o own_o yet_o can_v he_o not_o make_v i_o think_v so_o long_o upon_o it_o as_o to_o distract_v i_o in_o duty_n which_o be_v the_o devil_n design_n but_o osubtil_a serpent_n my_o lord_n goodness_n strengthen_v i_o to_o triumph_v over_o thou_o and_o i_o have_v a_o comfortable_a season_n upon_o the_o 21_o of_o august_n 1682._o all_o my_o old_a neglect_n prevail_v and_o wander_n in_o my_o night_n prayer_n but_o god_n hear_v my_o ejaculation_n i_o get_v up_o early_o in_o the_o morning_n which_o sweet_a way_n i_o have_v much_o neglect_v through_o weariness_n with_o worldly_a work_n to_o pray_v wherein_o i_o find_v much_o of_o god_n o_o my_o soul_n love_v that_o lovely_a lovely_a one_o thy_o lord_n who_o have_v hear_v thou_o have_v do_v be_v do_v great_a thing_n for_o thou_o and_o will_v do_v great_a on_o the_o 26._o i_o neglect_v read_v the_o word_n be_v too_o much_o about_o worldly_a affair_n which_o take_v i_o off_o from_o god_n and_o i_o lose_v my_o time_n in_o duty_n nor_o can_v i_o get_v up_o my_o thought_n to_o my_o god_n in_o my_o hurry_v yet_o on_o the_o saturday_n follow_v i_o recover_v a_o bless_a frame_n o_o my_o soul_n love_n and_o praise_v the_o lord_n for_o ever_o september_n the_o 2._o i_o be_v at_o a_o fast_o for_o the_o fire_n of_o london_n where_o i_o be_v not_o free_a of_o my_o aforesaid_a omission_n yet_o wait_v there_o all_o the_o day_n at_o length_n have_v the_o sweet_a presence_n of_o god_n on_o the_o 4._o i_o have_v heaven_n in_o my_o sight_n and_o but_o little_o trouble_v with_o wander_n yet_o too_o little_o look_v i_o into_o my_o own_o heart_n i_o sit_v up_o late_o for_o duty_n and_o god_n make_v it_o sweet_a to_o i_o on_o the_o seven_o he_o make_v his_o old_a moan_n against_o himself_o say_v i_o feat_n my_o own_o self_n righteousness_n the_o 10._o god_n discover_v my_o deadly_a sin_n which_o cause_v his_o withdrawment_n from_o i_o and_o that_o wish_v to_o die_v to_o avoid_v misery_n by_o god_n withdrawing_n be_v but_o a_o pang_n of_o passion_n the_o 15._o old_a wander_n etc._n etc._n return_v i_o think_v my_o murmur_a be_v the_o cause_n i_o first_o read_v isa_n 65.22_o 23_o 24._o from_o whence_o upon_o my_o ejaculation_n god_n speak_v comfort_n to_o i_o so_o have_v after_o delight_n in_o duty_n the_o 19_o god_n discover_v another_o sin_n my_o seeking_z the_o praise_n of_o man_n that_o darken_v his_o face_n from_o i_o the_o 23._o but_o little_a sensible_a how_o i_o have_v grieve_v away_o god_n good_a spirit_n in_o morning_n prayer_n the_o 25._o have_v little_a sense_n of_o god_n put_v a_o vail_n