sometime_o a_o beam_n of_o hope_n will_v shine_v in_o upon_o my_o soul_n from_o the_o consideration_n of_o the_o merit_n and_o blood_n of_o christ_n my_o dear_a lord_n and_o saviour_n yet_o the_o same_o be_v immediate_o cloud_v by_o the_o revolution_n of_o the_o thought_n premise_v and_o now_o it_o be_v i_o find_v how_o hard_o the_o work_n of_o repentance_n let_v the_o world_n pass_v what_o sentiment_n they_o please_v thereon_o be_v to_o bring_v about_o how_o many_o be_v the_o conflict_n with_o the_o flesh_n and_o the_o devil_n that_o i_o grapple_v with_o how_o many_o bitter_a sigh_n and_o groan_n how_o many_o fear_n and_o terror_n be_v i_o wrap_v up_o in_o ere_o i_o can_v bring_v myself_o to_o a_o serious_a and_o hearty_a repentance_n for_o my_o past_a crime_n it_o be_v true_a the_o condition_n i_o be_v in_o under_o a_o sentence_n of_o death_n make_v i_o sorry_a that_o i_o have_v commit_v the_o offence_n that_o have_v bring_v i_o thereto_o yet_o the_o fear_n of_o death_n more_o than_o the_o greatness_n of_o the_o crime_n against_o god_n be_v the_o cause_n of_o that_o sorrow_n and_o have_v not_o that_o sentence_n be_v past_a upon_o i_o i_o fear_v my_o heart_n will_v never_o have_v be_v affect_v with_o that_o sorrow_n whence_o i_o will_v beg_v and_o request_v of_o all_o to_o who_o these_o line_n shall_v come_v that_o they_o take_v it_o as_o the_o advice_n of_o a_o die_a woman_n who_o be_v near_o can_v see_v further_o into_o the_o thing_n of_o another_o world_n than_o those_o who_o stand_v at_o a_o distance_n thence_o that_o they_o will_v not_o defer_v the_o great_a work_n of_o repentance_n till_o they_o come_v within_o prospect_n of_o eternity_n which_o every_o day_n bring_v they_o near_o to_o then_o other_o thus_o much_o in_o general_a i_o shall_v descend_v to_o particular_n in_o show_v you_o how_o god_n have_v please_v to_o work_v upon_o i_o in_o order_n to_o the_o settlement_n of_o my_o thought_n under_o these_o confusion_n i_o be_v at_o present_a under_o wherein_o notwithstanding_o all_o those_o suggestion_n the_o devil_n and_o my_o own_o evil_a heart_n do_v terrify_v i_o with_o i_o have_v find_v that_o god_n be_v a_o merciful_a father_n to_o repentant_a and_o return_a sinner_n though_o just_a against_o obstinate_a offender_n to_o his_o free_a grace_n in_o christ_n jesus_n my_o lord_n i_o attribute_v all_o the_o comfort_n i_o have_v and_o must_v receive_v here_o and_o hereafter_o wherefore_o in_o the_o first_o place_n i_o shall_v show_v you_o that_o god_n have_v be_v please_v by_o a_o gracious_o powerful_a hand_n to_o work_v upon_o i_o in_o turn_v i_o to_o a_o perfect_a detestation_n of_o my_o sin_n more_o in_o that_o they_o be_v and_o have_v be_v a_o affront_n to_o his_o majesty_n than_o the_o cause_n of_o that_o temporal_a death_n i_o be_o to_o suffer_v therefore_o to_o make_v out_o this_o i_o be_o to_o acquaint_v you_o that_o have_v receive_v my_o sentence_n on_o thursday_n night_n i_o continue_v in_o great_a confusion_n as_o aforesaid_a for_o two_o or_o three_o day_n and_o though_o a_o good_a friend_n who_o tarry_v most_o part_n of_o the_o time_n with_o i_o assist_v i_o with_o his_o advice_n and_o prayer_n yet_o can_v i_o not_o bring_v myself_o to_o so_o settle_a a_o temper_n but_o that_o my_o fear_n cloud_v my_o hope_n and_o deprive_v i_o of_o those_o comfort_n which_o otherwise_o and_o under_o other_o consideration_n i_o may_v have_v receive_v the_o devil_n be_v all_o this_o time_n busy_a in_o stir_v that_o mud_n my_o own_o evil_a heart_n have_v too_o ready_o raise_v on_o the_o monday_n follow_v i_o be_v visit_v by_o a_o minister_n of_o worth_n within_o the_o city_n of_o london_n who_o after_o several_a question_n by_o he_o propound_v and_o threat_n of_o the_o law_n against_o such_o criminal_o as_o myself_o be_v lay_v open_a i_o begin_v to_o see_v my_o transgression_n without_o that_o vizard_n the_o tempter_n have_v general_o mask_v they_o with_o the_o uncomely_a shape_n whereof_o do_v administer_v that_o amazement_n to_o i_o which_o be_v the_o first_o step_n of_o that_o abhorrency_n i_o have_v since_o conceive_v against_o they_o and_o no_o wonder_n that_o poor_a creature_n be_v so_o much_o deceive_v in_o their_o opinion_n of_o sin_n consider_v the_o specious_a advantage_n under_o which_o a_o representation_n by_o that_o evil_a one_o be_v make_v thereof_o the_o which_o till_o the_o purblind_a eye_n of_o man_n come_v to_o the_o near_a view_n thereof_o to_o wit_n in_o a_o punishment_n therefore_o or_o by_o god_n special_a grace_n he_o can_v never_o discern_v it_o in_o its_o true_a proportion_n or_o colour_n but_o continue_v under_o a_o fancy_a deceit_n that_o there_o be_v in_o sin_n somewhat_o exceed_o amiable_a profitable_a or_o reputable_a among_o man_n without_o which_o he_o can_v never_o live_v under_o that_o enjoyment_n of_o happiness_n and_o content_n as_o the_o same_o will_v at_o all_o time_n afford_v he_o thus_o with_o many_o thousand_o in_o the_o like_a case_n with_o i_o i_o be_v always_o delude_v and_o on_o this_o account_n do_v i_o run_v on_o in_o those_o sinful_a course_n who_o end_n be_v a_o scertain_v destruction_n as_o i_o to_o my_o cost_n have_v find_v it_o but_o the_o time_n be_v now_o come_v that_o the_o vail_n be_v draw_v aside_o and_o i_o begin_v to_o consider_v the_o inside_n and_o bottom_n of_o those_o crime_n which_o before_o that_o time_n lie_v cover_v under_o a_o specious_a and_o fair_a superficies_n and_o thereby_o come_v to_o a_o discovery_n of_o what_o before_o i_o never_o do_v real_o possess_v myself_o with_o i_o now_o consider_v every_o sin_n a_o breach_n of_o god_n law_n and_o a_o provocation_n of_o that_o vengeance_n that_o may_v every_o moment_n have_v spurn_v i_o into_o a_o abyss_n of_o misery_n and_o turn_v i_o out_o among_o those_o who_o be_v weep_v wail_a and_o gnash_v their_o tooth_n in_o the_o pit_n of_o perdition_n from_o whence_o to_o the_o throne_n of_o grace_n and_o mercy_n no_o appeal_n can_v be_v and_o that_o it_o be_v the_o exceed_a patience_n and_o forbearance_n of_o god_n that_o he_o have_v spare_v so_o vile_a so_o impure_a a_o wretch_n as_o myself_o so_o long_o under_o such_o continue_a and_o repeat_v impiety_n to_o violate_v his_o law_n and_o contemn_v his_o most_o sacred_a and_o august_a authority_n which_o consideration_n as_o they_o raise_v my_o detestation_n and_o hatred_n against_o sin_n so_o do_v they_o enhance_v the_o value_n and_o price_n of_o god_n mercy_n the_o two_o first_o stone_n to_o that_o great_a work_n of_o conversion_n which_o i_o hope_v god_n have_v in_o i_o the_o unworthy_a subject_n of_o his_o choice_n in_o some_o measure_n gracious_o effect_v as_o argument_n of_o which_o my_o own_o heart_n give_v i_o these_o five_o evidence_n which_o lay_v together_o confirm_v the_o same_o to_o my_o comfort_n 1._o that_o under_o the_o sense_n of_o my_o sin_n i_o confess_v and_o acknowledge_v myself_o deserve_o a_o condemn_a creature_n unless_o the_o application_n of_o the_o blood_n of_o christ_n my_o saviour_n and_o his_o intercession_n at_o the_o throne_n of_o grace_n join_v with_o the_o free_a love_n of_o god_n shall_v repeal_v the_o sentence_n against_o i_o 2._o i_o do_v thorough_o and_o from_o my_o heart_n detest_v and_o abhor_v sin_n in_o general_a and_o shall_v god_n please_v to_o lengthen_v out_o my_o day_n i_o shall_v continue_v my_o resolution_n of_o a_o through_o repentance_n and_o reformation_n of_o life_n forsake_v all_o course_n contrary_a to_o god_n holy_a word_n and_o law_n 3._o i_o find_v in_o my_o spirit_n a_o delight_n in_o read_v and_o prayer_n thing_n i_o former_o omit_v and_o eschew_v 4._o a_o fiduciary_a expectation_n of_o forgiveness_n from_o god_n of_o all_o past_a crime_n through_o jesus_n christ_n free_o rely_v and_o repose_v myself_o on_o he_o for_o salvation_n 5._o i_o do_v free_o and_o from_o my_o heart_n forgive_v all_o the_o world_n and_o bear_v to_o none_o the_o least_o ill_a will_n which_o consideration_n be_v the_o ground_n of_o that_o hope_n that_o balm_n my_o wound_a heart_n and_o cordial_n my_o decay_a spirit_n under_o the_o great_a change_n i_o be_o so_o short_o to_o make_v to_o discourse_v of_o which_o be_v the_o next_o and_o last_o thing_n i_o have_v to_o say_v and_o will_v to_o god_n i_o can_v now_o lay_v by_o all_o the_o clog_n of_o flesh_n and_o earth_n and_o mount_v up_o upon_o the_o wing_n of_o faith_n into_o such_o a_o state_n as_o the_o apostle_n be_v when_o he_o desire_v to_o be_v dissolve_v and_o be_v with_o christ_n but_o alas_o how_o many_o difficulty_n be_o i_o now_o to_o grapple_v with_o what_o mountain_n of_o opposition_n stand_v in_o my_o way_n too_o high_a and_o great_a to_o travel_v over_o before_o i_o i_o see_v a_o fair_a heaven_n invite_v and_o allure_a the_o aspect_n to_o a_o
enjoyment_n thereof_o but_o distant_a from_o my_o eye_n by_o depth_n seem_o stormy_a and_o impassable_a into_o which_o i_o be_o fearful_a and_o loath_a to_o launch_v fear_v the_o weight_n of_o my_o sin_n shall_v sink_v i_o ere_o i_o can_v compass_v the_o other_o shore_n i_o look_v back_o and_o see_v my_o former_a habitation_n in_o the_o flesh_n which_o knowledge_n and_o custom_n have_v render_v pleasant_a to_o i_o ruin_v and_o destroy_v nothing_o commendable_a in_o it_o for_o my_o stay_n or_o entertainment_n my_o familiar_n forget_v despise_v and_o forsake_v i_o under_o disgrace_n with_o all_o through_o my_o own_o crime_n and_o folly_n and_o a_o judicial_a necessity_n upon_o i_o to_o speed_v my_o way_n in_o this_o case_n perplex_v comfort_n fly_v i_o on_o all_o side_n if_o i_o look_v down_z i_o be_o startle_v at_o my_o own_o ill_a representation_n and_o shadow_n to_o heaven_n therefore_o be_v my_o best_a and_o last_o refuge_n whether_o when_o i_o extend_v my_o eye_n my_o soul_n breathe_v our_o in_o desire_n to_o this_o or_o the_o like_a effect_n lord_n thou_o know_v my_o past_a frailty_n and_o present_a perplexity_n be_v thou_o my_o streersman_n to_o guide_v i_o through_o this_o sea_n of_o tear_n to_o thyself_o without_o thou_o and_o thy_o assistance_n i_o shall_v immediate_o split_v upon_o the_o rock_n of_o despair_n or_o sink_v into_o the_o gulf_n of_o infidelity_n where_o i_o shall_v ever_o remain_v without_o hope_n to_o bring_v my_o shipwrack_v soul_n into_o the_o haven_n of_o thy_o mercy_n which_o stand_v at_o all_o time_n open_a for_o repent_v and_o believe_v sinner_n to_o such_o breathe_n of_o my_o soul_n god_n be_v sometime_o please_v to_o give_v the_o answer_n of_o his_o spirit_n in_o the_o return_n of_o peace_n at_o which_o time_n as_o the_o sun_n that_o have_v long_o lie_v hide_v in_o a_o dark_a eclipse_n dart_v forth_o its_o refresh_a ray_n to_o the_o comfort_n of_o beholder_n so_o from_o that_o black_a scene_n of_o sorrow_n under_o which_o my_o breast_n be_v trouble_v radiate_v a_o joy_n unspeakable_a and_o so_o great_a that_o i_o can_v express_v it_o but_o in_o the_o bless_a effect_n thereof_o which_o lead_v i_o to_o the_o despise_v the_o world_n in_o the_o great_a pleasure_n of_o it_o and_o mount_v up_o my_o soul_n so_o high_a above_o the_o nether_a sphere_n that_o when_o i_o view_v it_o methinks_v it_o seem_v so_o little_a and_o despicable_a a_o spot_n what_o be_v it_o to_o be_v purchase_v by_o the_o rate_n of_o one_o of_o the_o least_o crime_n i_o ever_o be_v guilty_a of_o it_o will_v be_v unmerciful_o over_o rate_v and_o in_o this_o condition_n imagine_v whether_o i_o have_v any_o mind_n or_o desire_n to_o take_v up_o a_o habitation_n therein_o and_o neglect_v those_o divine_a mansion_n where_o care_n and_o trouble_n and_o above_o all_o sin_n be_v a_o stranger_n mansion_n where_o god_n and_o angel_n inhabit_v and_o enjoy_v themselves_o in_o a_o continue_v halelujah_o and_o harmony_n to_o which_o i_o be_o a_o go_v it_o be_v then_o i_o can_v kiss_v the_o halter_n that_o shall_v strangle_v i_o and_o the_o hand_n that_o shall_v dispatch_v i_o to_o these_o enjoyment_n account_v myself_o happy_a in_o my_o trouble_n and_o blessed_v in_o my_o misery_n but_o thus_o it_o fare_v not_o at_o all_o time_n with_o i_o but_o flesh_n will_v get_v the_o upper_a hand_n and_o sometime_o drag_v i_o down_o to_o earth_n and_o keep_v i_o from_o mount_v heavenward_o which_o as_o it_o be_v against_o my_o peace_n so_o likewise_o much_o against_o my_o will_n and_o prayer_n to_o god_n that_o he_o will_v please_v to_o prevent_v it_o thus_o have_v i_o go_v through_o with_o what_o in_o the_o first_o part_n of_o this_o discourse_n be_v premise_v viz._n a_o account_n of_o my_o life_n and_o crime_n for_o which_o i_o receive_v my_o sentence_n of_o death_n as_o also_o the_o sense_n of_o my_o condition_n upon_o consideration_n of_o both_o it_o remain_v now_o only_o upon_o the_o whole_a that_o the_o reader_n will_v candid_o interpret_v of_o what_o these_o line_n have_v contain_v and_o make_v use_n of_o they_o as_o a_o warning_n from_o run_v on_o in_o those_o way_n the_o devil_n and_o my_o own_o heart_n have_v lead_v i_o in_o who_o end_n will_v be_v certain_o bitter_a to_o all_o that_o pursue_v the_o same_o which_o that_o the_o same_o use_n may_v be_v make_v thereof_o shall_v be_v to_o the_o last_o gasp_n the_o prayer_n of_o dorothy_n lillingstone_n a_o supplement_n to_o the_o precede_a discourse_n it_o be_v certain_o the_o high_a judgement_n as_o well_o as_o the_o great_a misery_n of_o this_o age_n that_o the_o frequent_a and_o many_o example_n which_o every_o day_n present_v themselves_o to_o the_o view_n of_o the_o world_n shall_v work_v so_o little_a upon_o the_o inhabitant_n thereof_o to_o turn_v they_o from_o their_o evil_a way_n to_o repentance_n and_o make_v they_o forsake_v those_o course_n who_o end_n will_v be_v assure_o grievous_a to_o they_o one_o main_a reason_n whereof_o may_v be_v this_o that_o so_o few_o among_o the_o many_o that_o be_v by_o god_n justice_n set_v forth_o as_o example_n to_o other_o be_v regard_v as_o such_o but_o be_v esteem_v as_o the_o worst_a of_o creature_n and_o so_o not_o worthy_a the_o serious_a consideration_n of_o such_o that_o think_v themselves_o paramount_n above_o the_o fear_n or_o danger_n of_o fall_v into_o such_o crime_n as_o bring_v those_o to_o their_o deserve_a end_n little_a consider_v the_o deceitfullness_n of_o their_o own_o heart_n and_o the_o proneness_n of_o every_o one_o of_o we_o if_o once_o desert_v by_o god_n to_o fall_v into_o the_o worst_a of_o crime_n or_o else_o the_o example_n intend_v by_o god_n be_v stifle_v by_o the_o sufferer_n silence_n or_o the_o reputation_n of_o relation_n who_o be_v not_o to_o expose_v their_o friend_n fail_n and_o disgraceful_a end_n to_o the_o world_n to_o prevent_v both_o which_o false_a use_n of_o god_n providence_n the_o precede_a discourse_n be_v intend_v and_o pen_v wherein_o the_o truth_n of_o the_o relation_n commend_v the_o same_o to_o the_o reader_n and_o i_o shall_v say_v but_o little_a additional_a thereto_o only_a request_n that_o into_o who_o hand_n this_o small_a treatise_n may_v fall_v they_o will_v make_v this_o treble_a use_n of_o it_o 1._o to_o see_v the_o deceitfulness_n of_o the_o heart_n of_o man_n 2._o the_o great_a mischief_n that_o arise_v from_o the_o seem_o little_a and_o inconsiderable_a beginning_n of_o sin_n 3._o to_o take_v this_o as_o a_o example_n to_o warn_v other_o from_o trust_v to_o their_o own_o heart_n or_o venture_v upon_o sin_n in_o the_o least_o degree_n thereof_o lest_o thereby_o they_o may_v be_v bring_v to_o those_o mischief_n which_o be_v certain_o destructive_a to_o the_o pursuer_n this_o only_a by_o the_o way_n i_o now_o proceed_v to_o give_v a_o account_n of_o dorothy_n lillingstone_n since_o the_o end_n of_o she_o own_o narrative_a the_o day_n before_o her_o death_n be_v with_o she_o i_o make_v a_o inquiry_n in_o what_o condition_n she_o find_v herself_o and_o whether_o she_o be_v settle_v and_o dispose_v for_o the_o great_a work_n she_o be_v the_o next_o day_n to_o go_v through_o to_o which_o she_o answer_v i_o that_o it_o be_v no_o easy_a work_n to_o die_v but_o such_o wherein_o the_o great_a difficulty_n imaginable_a be_v to_o be_v encounter_v and_o she_o have_v upon_o the_o first_o thought_n of_o the_o same_o so_o find_v it_o but_o through_o the_o grace_n of_o god_n she_o have_v be_v so_o wrought_v upon_o that_o she_o can_v then_o easy_o and_o willing_o meet_v and_o embrace_v it_o in_o the_o worst_a of_o its_o appearance_n or_o word_n to_o this_o effect_n after_o which_o upon_o further_a discourse_n i_o inquire_v upon_o what_o ground_n she_o become_v willing_a to_o die_v who_o have_v be_v former_o so_o terrify_v thereat_o to_o which_o she_o reply_v god_n have_v be_v so_o merciful_a to_o she_o and_o make_v her_o sensible_a of_o the_o greatness_n of_o her_o crime_n whereby_o she_o have_v be_v wrought_v to_o a_o real_a repentance_n therefore_o and_o thereby_o be_v under_o the_o great_a hope_n of_o forgiveness_n through_o the_o blood_n and_o merit_n of_o christ_n her_o dear_a lord_n and_o saviour_n the_o which_o temper_n of_o mind_n she_o be_v further_o encourage_v to_o through_o the_o certainty_n of_o her_o death_n which_o every_o minute_n she_o be_v put_v in_o mind_n of_o by_o the_o sight_n of_o her_o coffin_n and_o shroud_n then_o be_v in_o the_o chamber_n with_o she_o after_o which_o i_o begin_v through_o the_o great_a hope_n i_o perceive_v of_o she_o to_o give_v her_o consolation_n and_o encouragement_n in_o her_o present_a temper_n of_o mind_n and_o assure_v she_o that_o her_o sin_n though_o never_o so_o many_o and_o great_a as_o she_o have_v confess_v she_o to_o be_v be_v not_o sufficient_a to_o stand_v between_o god_n and_o her_o happiness_n for_o that_o god_n mercy_n be_v infinite_a and_o her_o iniquity_n in_o the_o high_a sum_n but_o finite_a i_o then_o inquire_v of_o she_o how_o she_o intend_v to_o spend_v the_o ensue_a night_n to_o which_o she_o answer_v she_o have_v take_v her_o last_o farewell_n of_o her_o bed_n and_o do_v intend_v to_o set_v up_o in_o prayer_n and_o read_v all_o night_n against_o which_o consider_v her_o weakness_n i_o dissuade_v she_o tell_v she_o her_o strength_n can_v not_o bear_v it_o out_o to_o which_o she_o sudden_o answer_v persuade_v i_o not_o against_o it_o for_o i_o be_o resolve_v this_o night_n to_o serve_v my_o god_n though_o in_o weakness_n and_o i_o be_o encourage_v to_o hope_v he_o will_v accept_v thereof_o after_o which_o be_v about_o to_o leave_v she_o she_o only_o desire_v i_o to_o provide_v she_o a_o little_a bible_n have_v then_o only_o a_o great_a one_o by_o she_o to_o carry_v in_o her_o hand_n the_o next_o day_n to_o the_o place_n of_o execution_n say_v she_o will_v there_o read_v a_o chapter_n and_o a_o psalm_n and_o in_o a_o few_o word_n give_v warning_n to_o the_o spectator_n of_o her_o death_n and_o the_o cause_n of_o it_o and_o so_o commend_v herself_o and_o soul_n to_o god_n in_o prayer_n after_o which_o i_o leave_v she_o to_o god_n and_o the_o next_o morning_n i_o come_v to_o she_o early_o and_o rejoice_v to_o find_v she_o in_o a_o very_a quiet_a temper_n of_o mind_n submit_v to_o the_o justice_n of_o god_n in_o the_o great_a work_n she_o be_v that_o day_n to_o undergo_v the_o which_o she_o tell_v i_o she_o be_v encourage_v unto_o in_o that_o god_n have_v please_v to_o lift_v up_o the_o light_n of_o his_o countenance_n upon_o she_o and_o give_v she_o some_o assurance_n of_o his_o love_n to_o she_o notwithstanding_o her_o manifold_a crime_n in_o and_o through_o christ_n and_o that_o now_o she_o can_v leave_v the_o world_n willing_o expect_v those_o happiness_n in_o the_o place_n whether_o she_o be_v go_v that_o all_o the_o greatness_n and_o pleasure_n can_v be_v meet_v with_o in_o her_o abode_n here_o can_v never_o afford_v she_o i_o then_o inquire_v whether_o according_a to_o her_o former_a desire_n this_o manual_a shall_v be_v expose_v to_o the_o world_n to_o which_o she_o answer_v i_o she_o be_v very_o desirous_a it_o may_v and_o that_o i_o will_v cause_v the_o same_o to_o be_v print_v say_v she_o have_v speak_v to_o several_a minister_n therein_o who_o have_v commend_v her_o former_a thought_n in_o relation_n thereto_o and_o that_o her_o friend_n do_v expect_v it_o but_o above_o all_o she_o hope_v it_o may_v be_v for_o the_o public_a benefit_n to_o warn_v other_o from_o crime_n that_o be_v her_o destruction_n say_v she_o hope_v that_o her_o ruin_n may_v stand_v as_o a_o monument_n of_o brass_n to_o give_v notice_n to_o the_o world_n of_o the_o evil_a and_o pernicious_a work_n of_o sin_n after_o which_o i_o leave_v she_o and_o meet_v she_o again_o at_o the_o place_n of_o execution_n where_o she_o behave_v herself_o exemplary_o penitent_a among_o the_o number_n of_o those_o who_o suffer_v with_o she_o and_o be_v obstinate_o harden_v under_o the_o sentence_n of_o death_n at_o which_o time_n she_o read_v the_o seven_o chapter_n of_o job_n and_o the_o 51._o psalm_n and_o address_v herself_o to_o god_n in_o prayer_n desire_v the_o spectator_n there_o present_a to_o pray_v for_o she_o and_o to_o take_v her_o example_n as_o a_o mean_n to_o deter_v they_o from_o the_o course_n that_o bring_v she_o to_o that_o deserve_a and_o shameful_a end_n which_o she_o be_v now_o come_v at_o that_o place_n and_o time_n to_o accomplish_v after_o which_o she_o quiet_o surrender_v her_o soul_n to_o the_o almighty_a and_o her_o body_n to_o execution_n which_o work_n be_v over_o her_o friend_n remove_v her_o corpse_n in_o a_o coach_n in_o order_n to_o her_o burial_n and_o according_o be_v decent_o inter_v in_o in_o the_o parish_n church_n of_o st._n george_n southwark_n finis_fw-la
god_n mercy_n and_o justice_n display_v in_o the_o wicked_a life_n and_o penitential_a death_n of_o dorothy_n lillingstone_n execute_v the_o 7._o of_o april_n 1679._o at_o kennington_n for_o murder_v her_o bastard-childe_n publish_a at_o her_o earnest_a request_n with_o allowance_n london_n print_v by_o j._n bennet_n for_o r._n miller_n 1679._o the_o life_n and_o death_n of_o dorothy_n lillingstone_n i_o acknowledge_v it_o a_o mercy_n beyond_o my_o expectation_n or_o desert_n that_o the_o almighty_a shall_v please_v to_o spare_v i_o this_o time_n and_o opportunity_n to_o make_v my_o peace_n with_o he_o who_o by_o my_o repeat_v impiety_n i_o have_v so_o often_o and_o heinous_o offend_v as_o likewise_o to_o confess_v my_o crime_n to_o other_o thereby_o to_o deter_v and_o warn_v all_o from_o tread_v in_o those_o path_n that_o have_v bring_v i_o into_o the_o condition_n i_o be_o now_o miserable_o groan_v under_o the_o latter_a of_o which_o work_v as_o it_o may_v conduce_v in_o some_o measure_n to_o accomplish_v the_o former_a be_v the_o intent_n of_o the_o ensue_a line_n wherein_o to_o pretermit_v all_o matter_n unnecessary_a i_o shall_v in_o the_o first_o place_n give_v the_o world_n some_o account_n of_o my_o former_a ill-led_n life_n and_o the_o crime_n for_o which_o i_o stand_v under_o sentence_n of_o death_n and_o in_o the_o next_o my_o present_a sense_n of_o the_o state_n and_o condition_n i_o be_o in_o as_o to_o the_o first_o of_o which_o i_o be_o to_o acquaint_v you_o that_o i_o be_v bear_v in_o oxfordshire_n and_o receive_v my_o education_n under_o godly_a and_o religious_a parent_n who_o name_n in_o respect_n to_o the_o reverence_n i_o owe_v to_o their_o memory_n i_o shall_v in_o this_o place_n spare_v with_o they_o till_o the_o age_n of_o thirteen_o year_n i_o live_v in_o which_o space_n the_o most_o innocent_a part_n of_o my_o life_n i_o can_v reflect_v upon_o i_o begin_v to_o find_v the_o sprout_v of_o those_o sin_n which_o afterward_o in_o my_o life_n and_o future_a conversation_n do_v grow_v to_o great_a maturity_n and_o bear_v the_o bitter_a fruit_n of_o my_o present_a suffering_n the_o first_o of_o which_o that_o come_v under_o my_o observation_n and_o now_o stick_v hard_a upon_o my_o conscience_n be_v disobedience_n to_o my_o parent_n in_o those_o instruction_n and_o command_n their_o love_n and_o my_o interest_n put_v they_o upon_o lay_v before_o i_o to_o wit_n the_o service_n of_o that_o god_n to_o who_o my_o be_v and_o well-being_n be_v indebt_v but_o careless_a of_o those_o instruction_n and_o my_o own_o good_a i_o trample_v upon_o their_o advice_n and_o like_o the_o swine_n disregard_v the_o pearl_n not_o know_v the_o value_n of_o it_o and_o wallow_v in_o the_o mire_n and_o dirt_n of_o my_o own_o evil_a heart_n and_o affection_n forsake_v my_o duty_n to_o god_n both_o in_o private_a and_o public_a prayer_n read_v and_o hear_v with_o other_o duty_n of_o his_o worship_n which_o be_v the_o first_o cause_n that_o provoke_v god_n to_o leave_v i_o to_o myself_o and_o so_o consequent_o to_o all_o the_o evil_n i_o have_v since_o fall_v into_o in_o the_o consideration_n of_o which_o my_o conscience_n fly_v in_o my_o face_n and_o upbraid_v i_o with_o this_o great_a truth_n that_o the_o breach_n be_v not_o on_o god_n part_n but_o i_o for_o if_o i_o have_v continue_v in_o those_o way_n and_o course_n my_o parent_n by_o the_o inculcation_n of_o scripture_n have_v teach_v i_o and_o not_o trust_v to_o myself_o or_o my_o own_o manadgery_n god_n will_v never_o have_v forsake_v i_o nor_o permit_v i_o to_o fall_v into_o those_o inconvenience_n i_o now_o sink_v under_o the_o weight_n of_o i_o leave_v my_o parent_n about_o the_o age_n of_o thirteen_o and_o betake_v myself_o to_o a_o service_n in_o becconsfield_n in_o the_o county_n of_o buck_n where_o grow_v in_o year_n i_o grow_v in_o sin_n and_o day_n by_o day_n add_v guilt_n to_o guilt_n to_o my_o former_a disobedience_n of_o my_o parent_n and_o neglect_n of_o god_n i_o now_o join_v lust_n and_o pride_n those_o two_o reign_v and_o destructive_a sin_n the_o root_n and_o beginning_n of_o all_o my_o future_a fail_n to_o which_o as_o to_o the_o head_n spring_v i_o owe_v all_o the_o motion_n and_o gradation_n i_o have_v make_v hellwards_o the_o strength_n of_o which_o two_o sin_n especial_o that_o of_o my_o lust_n the_o devil_n that_o great_a deluder_n of_o soul_n make_v the_o bait_n of_o his_o temptation_n to_o ensnare_v &_o keep_v i_o in_o the_o net_n of_o his_o jurisdiction_n wherein_o i_o then_o commence_v and_o have_v ever_o since_o continue_v a_o slave_n how_o great_a the_o power_n of_o this_o sin_n be_v when_o once_o it_o have_v make_v a_o inroad_n upon_o chastity_n the_o bulwark_n against_o it_o those_o only_o know_v who_o feel_v the_o powerful_a operation_n thereof_o in_o themselves_o or_o behold_v it_o in_o the_o sad_a instance_n and_o effective_n of_o its_o strength_n in_o other_o from_o becconsfield_n i_o remove_v to_o wattleton_n in_o the_o same_o county_n to_o another_o service_n which_o happen_v in_o a_o public_a house_n in_o which_o place_n be_v not_o fifteen_o year_n of_o age_n i_o make_v myself_o a_o prostitute_n to_o those_o lust_n i_o have_v before_o that_o time_n only_o approve_v of_o and_o be_v delight_v with_o in_o the_o revolution_n of_o my_o thought_n the_o remembrance_n of_o which_o sin_n at_o that_o time_n a_o most_o sweet_a and_o delicious_a morsel_n to_o my_o palate_n be_v now_o the_o bitter_a ingredient_n of_o my_o misery_n it_o be_v now_o i_o see_v how_o deceitful_o fair_a be_v all_o those_o false_a apple_n of_o sodom_n my_o former_a pleasure_n rottenness_n be_v lodge_v in_o the_o core_n pollution_n in_o the_o touch_n and_o destruction_n in_o the_o taste_n thereof_o from_o wattleton_n i_o remove_v for_o london_n but_o though_o i_o change_v my_o residence_n my_o heart_n be_v not_o change_v and_o i_o still_o continue_v in_o those_o course_n the_o suggestion_n thereof_o and_o my_o own_o impure_a affection_n lead_v i_o to_o and_o grow_v more_o hardy_a and_o bold_a in_o my_o crime_n sin_n i_o former_o tremble_v at_o the_o commitment_n of_o i_o can_v now_o meet_v without_o the_o least_o reluctancy_n or_o tremulation_n swallow_v greedy_o my_o own_o poison_n esteem_v it_o my_o pleasant_a food_n and_o choice_a provision_n such_o as_o wherein_o neither_o danger_n of_o surfeit_v my_o soul_n or_o destroy_v my_o body_n be_v ever_o in_o the_o least_o to_o be_v fear_v yet_o at_o some_o time_n the_o devil_n though_o his_o power_n be_v sovereign_a in_o i_o can_v not_o stop_v the_o mouth_n of_o that_o rebel_n to_o he_o my_o conscience_n but_o it_o will_v tell_v i_o how_o great_a a_o criminal_a i_o be_v to_o myself_o and_o slave_n to_o a_o unjust_a master_n in_o the_o course_n i_o prosecute_v this_o in_o the_o heat_n and_o vigour_n of_o my_o enjoyment_n will_v sometime_o quell_v and_o damp_n they_o but_o like_o a_o sickly_a qualm_n the_o health_n of_o my_o pleasure_n will_v quick_o rid_v my_o stomach_n thereof_o the_o devil_n turn_v physician_n as_o at_o such_o time_n he_o be_v always_o ready_a to_o do_v and_o administer_a a_o pill_n or_o dose_n of_o false_a comfort_n to_o relieve_v i_o from_o london_n i_o return_v to_o my_o parent_n in_o oxfordshire_n where_o after_o some_o short_a stay_n with_o they_o i_o remove_v to_o chesham_n little_o delight_v in_o the_o company_n of_o those_o whereby_o i_o may_v have_v be_v benifit_v in_o relation_n to_o my_o soul_n know_v that_o that_o will_v put_v i_o upon_o bridle_v my_o lust_n too_o great_a a_o self-denial_n to_o be_v think_v on_o with_o patience_n at_o chesham_n i_o alight_v into_o a_o family_n where_o i_o live_v about_o two_o year_n one_o year_n and_o three_o quarter_n of_o which_o i_o live_v in_o the_o constant_a commitment_n of_o whoredom_n with_o my_o master_n who_o be_v at_o that_o time_n a_o marry_a man_n and_o by_o he_o i_o have_v a_o child_n which_o be_v yet_o live_v to_o bring_v which_o into_o the_o world_n and_o to_o cover_v that_o sin_n i_o have_v commit_v i_o be_v remove_v for_o london_n where_o after_o some_o short_a time_n be_v deliver_v of_o the_o burden_n of_o my_o sin_n and_o shame_n and_o the_o issue_n thereof_o provide_v for_o i_o go_v in_o the_o quality_n of_o a_o wet-nurse_n into_o a_o very_a honest_a and_o religious_a family_n in_o roderith_n where_o i_o may_v if_o my_o own_o evil_a heart_n have_v not_o be_v foolish_a and_o desperate_o wicked_a be_v warn_v both_o by_o their_o example_n and_o precept_n to_o other_o course_n than_o i_o do_v then_o or_o since_o follow_v but_o when_o once_o god_n give_v up_o a_o person_n or_o people_n to_o a_o reprobate_a sense_n and_o state_n neither_o example_n can_v allure_v nor_o precept_n oblige_v they_o to_o what_o may_v be_v for_o their_o