Righteousness is more satisfactory and pleasing unto God than all the Sinners Wickedness is injurious and displeasing to him O this is a very sweet and comfortable Consideration indeed There is no such Evil in Sin to damn thee as there is Merit in Christ's Blood to save thee IX To despair of Mercy is a greater Sin than all thy other Sins This makes thee like the Devil himself It is the Glory of Divine Grace to triumph over all the Sinner's Unworthiness Resolve therefore I will yet follow God tho' I have offended him come on me what will I know he is God and not Man who can help nay will help if I come unto him Isa 57. 16. I will not contend for ever nor be always wroth for the Spirit would fail before me and the Souls that I have made Isa 41. 17. When the poor and needy seek water and there is none and their tongue faileth for thirst I the Lord will hear them I the God of Israel will not forsake them When it comes to failing fainting sinking dying then comes help Be much in Prayer and hold on waiting God may make you seek and wait a long time aye but he will certainly come and that will make amends for all X. How shall one be willing to die that hath not a sense of God's Love I answer when we can see our Love to God tho' we cannot see God's Love to us What are the Actings of our Soul towards God when we can see no Love in his Dispensations towards us As that good Man under great Afflictions and Dissatisfaction about the Love of God at last breaks out If I did not love God why do I follow him and mourn after him If thou lovest God here is ground of Comfort thou couldst not love God if he did not first love thee It was a memorable Answer of Mr. Dod to a godly Minister that said to him a little before his Death What will you say to me who am going out of the World and can find no Comfort He replied What will you say to our Saviour that was going out of the World and found no Comfort but he cried out My God my God still This Speech much refreshed that godly Minister Others of God's Children have wanted sensible Comfort at their Death yet they have been able to act Faith and to say My God my God still Tho' God's sensible Presence is not still the same yet his Word and Promise is he speaks as comfortably in his Word as ever he cannot deny his own Word God sometimes withdraws Comfort that we may prize his Word more and depend more upon that You please and honour God most when you can venture your Souls on his bare Word and Promise A Faith of Recumbency on Christ in the want of Comfort doth more honour God than the highest Faith of Assurance Why should Death be a Terror to them that fear God none need to fear Death that are escaped from the Dominion of Sin and the Devil Can you say you do not love Christ and that you do love Sin then there is cause enough for fear but this were to bely the blessed Spirit The godly hath hope in his Death A hope of Life even at the Point of Death A godly Man's hope can never fail him he may want sensible Comfort but he doth hope still Death 't is a going to God and shall a godly Man be afraid of going to his God Again it is a Sleep a Rest are weary Men afraid of rheir Rest and of going to sleep If Death be an Enemy 't is a slain Enemy Christ hath been the Death of Death And why should that have Terror in it that hath no Life in it A godly Man is a real Gainer by Death He gains more by his Death than ever he got all his Life long viz. Happiness and Joy that shall never end Again tho' Death separates Relations here yet Death can never separate the godly Man's Soul and Body from Christ Both still continue united unto Christ They sleep in Jesus God is still their God and therefore let not the Saints of God be afraid of Death XI Psal 147. 11. The Lord taketh pleasure in them that fear him in them that hope in his mercy Then our Prayers please God when they are put up to him in Faith and hope of his Mercy Poor trembling Souls that meditute nothing but Terror little think how it would please God to see them to hope in his Mercy They are conscious to themselves how they have displeased God but hope in God's Mercy and he will take pleasure in thee They bring most Honour to God that are most admiring and magnifying of his Mercy His Heart is most set on Mercy in all the Manifestations of it Therefore let poor drooping Souls still maintain hope in the Mercy of God through Christ XII This is certain in every afflictive Providence to Believers there is more Mercy than Wrath nay 't is all Mercy in the Issue and not in revengeful Wrath but paternal Anger They have Supports under all sometimes they may be under desertion and no comforts of God come into their Souls they are ready to say Lord why casteth thou off my Soul But then they have this to support them they can love God and mourn after his Favour tho' he seems to be gone from them they can look after him and long for his Return and this is such an effect of Grace that is more worth than the whole World Sustentation saith Mr. Baines I thank God I have tho' Suavities I have none Sickness and Sorrow and Death that are the Fruits of Sin none can be exempted from but Grace doth this for Believers The Curse the Hurt the Venom of all is taken away they are Gainers by all 2 Cor. 4. 16. Tho' our outward man c. All works for their good Others have Comforts with a Curse but Believers have Crosses with a Blessing The Guilt of Sin the Grace of God in Christ doth quite take away from all Believers Heb. 8. 12. Pardoning Mercy clears the Soul of Guilt What Comfort is this to such that by the Grace of Justification through Christ they are in God's account righteous And upon the account of Christ their Righteousness they may come into God's Presence with as assured Welcome as Adam in Paradise or the Angels now in Heaven This thou may'st be assured of that Christ will not break the bruised Reed nor quench the smoaking Flax. Tho' thy Faith be so small that it yields not Light to others nor Heat to thy own Heart yet Christ discerns and accepts it But can a Man have the Exercise of Grace and not know it fear God and not discern it I answer Yes some Graces may then be acted and discerned by others as well as at any other time He may fear God as truly and as much as ever and yet his Grace may not have Light to discover it self to him It may have a Being and working in the Heart when it 's not clear in thy Apprehension XIII Hearken unto the Voice of God O poor doubting disconsolate Sinner Why dost thou pass Sentence against thy self Thou say'st O my Sins are very many Well but the Mercies of God are far more O but my Sins are very great True but the Meroies of God are far greater O but my Sins are of long continuance True but yet thy Sins are but Sins of Time his Mercies are the Mercies of Eternity O but my Sins are greater than you are aware of they are Crimson Scarlet Sins How great are they Are they as great as the Sins of Manasseh that was a Wizard that filled Jerusalem with Blood yet God pardoned him Are they greater than the Sins of Mary Magdalen out of whom were cast seven Devils and yet God had Mercy for her O but I fear the Stock of Mercy is quite spent No his Mercy endures for ever it is from everlasting to everlasting But I have exceedingly abused Mercy yet remember that tho thou hast sinn'd against his Mercy yet thou hast not sinned above his Mercy Isa 55. 8. My thoughts are not as your thoughts nor my ways as your ways as the heavens are above the earth so are my thoughts above your thoughts and my ways above your ways FINIS * My Honoured Friend Mr. Joshua Gearing Sen.
hope I desire to forsake all my Sins Now the Scripture saith 1 Joh. 1. 9. If we confess our Sins he is faithful and just to forgive us our Sins and to cleanse us from all Unrighteousnes And Prov. 28. 13. Whoso confesseth and forsaketh his Sins shall have Mercy I hope I do not allow my self in any Sin but desire Power against it as well as Pardon of it yea the Sin I am most inclined to tho' my Heart is often apt to go out after it the Lord forgive it Yet I hope it is my earnest Desire that I may have Strength against it The Lord help me to say with David Psal 18. 23. I was upright before him and kept my self from mine Iniquity I hope I desire from my Soul to mourn for Heart-Sins as Hardness and Deadness and Wandrings and Distractions in Duty c. I hope this is a good Sign that I am if my Heart deceives me not really troubled for secret Sins which the World knows nothing of and that I do not allow sinful Thoughts I hope I desire to mourn for the Sins of the Land and to lay to Heart the great Dishonours done to God by others I hope there is a Change wrought in me and that I am a new Creature 2 Cor. 5. 17. If I am a new Creature then I am in Christ I hope so because there are such strivings and fightings in me against Sin such strugglings between the Flesh and the Spirit There is certainly a resisting of Sin if my Heart do not wonderfully deceive me Now Mr. N. used to say It is true Grace to resist Sin it is strong Grace to conquer Sin I consider how it was with Paul Rom. 7. he saith there was a Law in his Members warrings against the Law of his Mind and the Evil that he would not do that he did Methinks it is so with me sometimes I hope this striving and struggling is a Sign I am not dead in Sins and Trespasses for a dead Man strives not moves not I beg of God often and heartily that I may be sincere and upright and hope I have from my Heart many times pray'd with David that God would search me and try me in Mercy and find out if there be any way of Wickedness in me if there be any Sin that lies hid in my Soul and have been glad when Ministers have come to Examination that so I might try my self especially in my younger Years when I heard Mr. N. and used to try my self by Characters that he laid down and have then found Comfort and great Hopes of a Work of Grace wrought in me and wondered how those that heard that Soul-awakening Minister could bear it if they did not find God had been at work in their Souls I do remember when I was young what Delight I took in hearing that good Man and have been as it were in a Corner of Heaven I have often had my Heart quickned warmed and much drawn out to God Now tho' to my Shame I may write it I have abated much in my Zeal and Love to God and his Ways since I have had more to do with the World and a Family to provide for yet I desire to remember the Days of old the Years of the Right Hand of the most High and hope I may take Comfort from the Experience I have had formerly remembering where Grace is once wrought it shall never be extinguished whom Christ loves once he loves to the end and that God never repents that he gives Grace to any I hope tho' by my Sins I have caused the Lord much to depart from me for many Years that I do not meet with such Quickning and Comfort in Duties as formerly yet that I do not content my self in this Condition but desire to have my Soul follow hard after God to lament after him and do I hope prize a Smile from him and the Light of his Countenance above the whole World and do often pray with David Psal 4. When others say Who will shew us any good that God would lift up the light of his Countenance upon me And I desire with the Spouse to seek him whom I hope I may say at least my Soul desires to love I hope it is a good Sign that I have frequent Thoughts of God and do often lift up my Heart to him as when I lie down at Night and awake in the Morning I desire my first and last Thoughts may be with God I hope I may say with David I desire to set the Lord always before me Psal 16. 8. I hope I am desirous and willing to yield Obedience to all the Commandments of God and not to pick and chuse I hope I would not allow my self in the Omission of any Duty Now Christ saith Ye are my Disciples if ye do whatsoever I command you Joh. 15. 14. I hope I have from my Heart prayed many times that God would make known to me how I should walk to please him I hope I desire patiently to continue in well-doing and to wait upon God tho' I do not meet with him Now there is a Promise of Blessedness to them that wait for him Isa 30. 18. and the Promise is Rom. 2. 7. To them who by patient continuance in well-doing seek for Glory and Honour and Immortality that God would give Eternal Life I hope I desire my Will may be according to God's Will and would do better than I do Now if I am but really willing tho' I have many Failings and fall infinitely short yet it is said 2 Cor. 8. 12. Where there is a willing Mind it is accepted according to what a Man hath and not according to what he hath not And our Saviour speaks graciously to his Disciples when he found them asleep Mat. 26. 41. The Spirit truly is willing but the Flesh is weak I hope I desire to be merciful to them who are in Misery and have sometimes been glad of an Opportunity tho' the Lord forgive too backward at other times Now our Lord saith Blessed are the Merciful for they shall obtain Mercy Mat. 5. 7. I hope I desire to cleanse my self from all Filthiness of Flesh and Spirit to have my Heart purified Now it is said Blessed are the pure in Heart for they shall see God Mat. 5. 8. I hope I have counted the Cost what it may cost me to be a Christian indeed and am fully resolved in the Strength of Christ to let all go for him It is my Desire and earnest Prayer I hope from my very Heart that if God call me to it I may be enabled to lay down my Life for his sake Now Christ saith He that forsakes Houses or Brethren or Sisters or Father or Mother or Wife or Children or Lands for his Name 's sake shall receive an hundred-fold and inherit Everlasting Life Mat. 19. 29. and he that loseth his Life shall find it I hope I desire if I am called to it to
tho' a Man had the Guilt of as many Sins lying on his Soul as there be drops of Water in the Ocean and if they were of as long Continuance as from the Creation of the World and aggravated with as hainous Circumstances as any of the vilest Sinners in Hell yet there is Merit enough in the Blood of Christ to take away the Guilt of all those Sins and when that is done Merit enough left to purchase as great a Glory as any Saint in Heaven enjoys But let none thereupon presume to go on in Sin for there is not a Word of Comfort in the whole Bible for such an one He that is affraid of too much Grace hath none at all He who is unwilling to be made better is not yet good In the most afflicted Condition of a Saint he hath more reason to question his own Love to God than God's Love to him God takes as much Care of every one of his Children as if he had but one to care for Our Times are in the Hand of God If they were in our Enemies Hands our Afflictions and Trials would be too long if in our own too short But because in the Hand of God Deliverance shall be seasonable and in due time Had we ten thousand Lives and Estates to lose and lay down for Christ one Hour's Communion with him in Glory will recompence for all our Self-denial whatever we have done or suffered That Man lives unlawfully who doth not sometimes abstain from lawful things Make it thy Business to act Grace and then trust God to bring in Comfort God is yours if you are unfeignedly willing to be his He that can from his Heart say Lord I am thine may on good grounds be assur'd that the Lord is his God That Man whom God cannot satisfie nothing can for God is to his People whatever they can desire or need Sight to the Blind Bread to the Hungry Cloathing to the Naked Strength to the Weak a Physician to the Sick Pardon to the Guilty Comfort to the Mourners Life in Death and Everlasting Life after Death When the Devil suggested to a good Man That it was in vain for him to mind God for he should never get to Heaven He replied I will then follow hard after him and keep close to him that I may enjoy as much as possible of God here on Earth Where Sin lies heavy every Affliction will be light 'T was the Saying of the Noble Marquess of Vico Their Money perish with them who think all the Wealth in the World worth one Hour's Communion with Jesus Christ Since no Man can see thee and live Lord let me die said an holy Man that I may see thee and be with thee If your Condition be never so low if your Hearts be lower it is well enough the Issue will be good And while God the Fountain is left you need not much complain for want of a broken Cistern While others live without God in the World a Christian should endeavour to live as without the World in and upon his God The same Love of God which leads one Christian into the Wine-Cellar and gives him Assurance may lead another into a Prison for the Trial and Exercise of his Grace In Prayer if a Man have not a care of the first Wandrings of his Heart from God he will hardly be able to recover himself afterwards 'T was a memorable Saying of a Great Man He may be deceived who thinks to save any thing by his Religion more than his Soul Before a Man is humbled he complains of God's Unkindness to him but afterwards of his own to God God had one Son without any Sin our Blessed Redeemer but never any Son without some Affliction and Suffering Blessed be God we have any thing to deny or lose or count nothing for Christ A Believer prays with Fervency as if he would not be delay'd and then waits patiently as if he had not prayed If you can say God is your God and all that is in the World is his how can your fear Want If he be not All-sufficient why do you call him so If he be why do you not trust in him If the Lord be good to the Soul that seeks him how good is he to the Soul that finds him If saith Jerom my Father and Mother did with Tears intreat me and my Wife hang about my Neck and my Children fall at my Feet to beseech me to forsake Christ I would cast them all off Father Mother Wife and Children and say Farewel all welcome Christ THE following Account of the Conversion of his Niece will give farther Testimony to his Charity Zeal and Diligence to promote Religion in his Family and how God honoured him by the Lustre of an holy Example to recommend serious Godliness to those who saw his Conversation and by his seasonable Counsels to assist the Recovery of one who under great Convictions and Temptations was in Danger to be lost by too long concealing of the State of her Case from such as could advise and direct her A short Account of the Conversion of Mrs. P. F. as she left it under her Hand before her Death I Am now going about to call to mind the great Mercy and Goodness of the Lord towards me the unworthiest of all his Servants to record his Loving-kindness and to make mention of the many and great Deliverances I have had I know not where to begin nor where to make an end I am even swallowed up in Admiration and ready to cry out with David What shall I render to the Lord for all his Benefits especially when I consider my own Vileness by Nature and how I deserved to be cast into Hell as soon as I was born as having an Heart full of Sin Vanity and Rebellion against God being conceived in Sin and born in Iniquity And as if this had not been enough I have added numberless most hainous Transgressions I have reason to bewail the Sins of my Thoughts I was thinking Thoughts of Pride and Vanity as soon as I could think I was running away from God as soon as I could go with my Back towards Heaven and my Face towards Hell After I came to Years of Discretion the more I knew of God the more I sinned against him The Sins of my Youth have been innumerable and very hainous in their Nature so that I have cause to pray with David Lord remember not against me the Sins of my Youth O the precious Time I have lost and the Golden Opportunities that I have squandred away The Light and Love the Mercies and Means of Grace that I have sinned against I have spent the best of my Years in the Service of Sin and in the Neglect of the great Concerns of my Soul I confess when I was but a Child since I had any Understanding I had always some Love to the Ways and People of God and some Delight in Holy Duties and was fearful of
bear the Cross as well as receive the Crown Now it is said If we suffer with him we shall also reign with him 2 Tim. 2. 12. These things it pleased God to bring to my Mind as some ground of Hope that my State is good I enter'd these things here Aug. 11. 1676. Now my Intention is if it please God to make use of other Helps and search my Heart by them and enter them down here that I may have resort to them in a time of need anâ— the Lord help me further in this great Work of Self-Examination that I may not be deceived for the Lord Jesus Christ's sake Having endeavoured to search my Heart throughly after earnest Prayer to God I hope I find the Evidences of Grace in me that Mr. Allen hath laid down which are these 1. Where there is true Grace there is a hearty Willingness to part with every Sin Where ever there is this Breach made between Sin and the Soul it is Grace that hath made it When Sin hath lost the Will it hath lost the Man when Christ hath gained the Will he hath gained the Man Give me thy Heart is the same as Be willing to be mine Reason saith I ought to turn Conscience saith I must turn and yet nothing may follow But when the Heart saith I will turn to God then the Work is done Reason saith These Idols ought not to stand Conscience saith These Lusts must be subdued But when the Will saith to them Get you hence there is a Work of Grace begun This Willingness discovers it self to be prevailing First When a man is truly willing to part with Sin there will be Resolutions against it he takes part with God against Sin and uses all Means for the conquering of it Secondly This Resolution will bring forth Resistance An Heart weary of Sin will fall to striving against Sin Gal. 5. 17. The Flesh lusteth against the Spirit and the Spirit against the Flesh those two are contrary one to the other 2. Where ever there is true Grace there is a preferring in the Esteem and Choice of a strict and sincere Godly Life above any other Life in the World Tho' the foolish World runs a madding after Money and Pleasure spend their Days waste their Lives prostitute their Consciences throw away their Souls upon these things yet one Drachm of Godliness one Day spent in the Fear of the Lord is better than all this Psal 4. 6. There be many that say Who will shew us any good But Lord lift thou up the Light of thy Countenance on me saith a gracious Soul Thou hast put Gladness in my Heart more than in the time when their Corn and Wine increased Psal 17. 14 15. The Men of the World have their Portion in this Life their Bellies thou fillest with thy hid Treasure they are full of Children and leave the rest of their Substance to their Babes But as for me I will behold thy Face in Righteousness I shall be satisfied when I awake in thy Likeness The Men of this World as they seek so they have their Portion in this Life They have a gallant time of it here great Portions great Prosperity enough to spend on themselves and leave to their Children after them this they have and much good may it do them let me but behold the Face of God in Righteousness walk before the Lord in my Integrity keep a good Conscience live in the Obedience of his Will and in the Light of his Countenance and then let them take the Corn and Wine and what else they can get Let the Lord be mine and I shall never envy them their Portion Psal 119. 30. I have chosen the way of Truth V. 111. Thy Testimonies have I taken as my Heritage for ever Observe 1. That a Godly Man's settled Judgment is That a Godly Life is the best and happiest Life 2. That a Godly Man's Choice is according to his Judgment He esteems the Fear of the Lord above Gold and he chooses it before Gold He is better pleased and doth rather take up with the meanest and most afflicted Condition in a way of Holiness than with the most plentiful and prosperous Estate in a way of Sin He prefers the Poverty of Christ before the Riches of the World 3. Godly Men and Worldly Men may be known one from the other by the Choice they make for themselves he that makes a Worldly Choice is a Worldly Man and he that makes a Godly Choice is a Godly Man 3. Whosoever hath true Grace doth actually live a Godly Life The Tree is best known by its Fruit the Sincerity of our Purposes by our Performances He that doth Righteousness is righteous 1 Joh. 3. 7. A Godly Man makes Godliness the Business of his Life Religion is a Christian's Trade A Man's Trade is his constant Work and not the Exercise of now and then a Day or two Godliness is a Christian 's daily Walk Do not inquire only about your Affections what your Desires are or what your Joys are what your Comforts are or what your Peace is but what your Paths are When all comes to all this is the surest Mark He that hath Righteousness is righteous he that doth not Righteousness is not of God Mr. Sheppard in his Sincere Convert lays down three Marks wherein a Child of God goes beyond a Hypocrite and I having examined my Heart hope I find them in me 1. No Hypocrite or Unregenerate Man tho' he goes never so far let him do never so much but he lives in one Sin or other secret or open little or great Now I hope in the Lord I do not live in any Sin 2. No Hypocrite no Unregenerate Man ever came to be poor in Spirit and to be carried off from all Duties unto Christ in regard of Dependance and Trust If it were possible for them to forsake and break loose for ever from all Sin yet here they stick They seek to save themselves by their Duties without Christ Now if my Heart doth not very much deceive me I desire to renounce all Things and rest only on Christ 3. If any Unregenerate Man come unto Christ he never takes up his Rest in Christ only but he would have Christ and the World too is not content with Christ alone But I hope I desire to be content with Christ alone and to say as the Martyr None but Christ None but Christ Mr. D. in his Book of the Lord's Supper to prove that one hath a Principle of Spiritual Life and is not dead in Trespasses and Sins writes thus Canst thou groan and cry to the Lord for an Interest in Christ and will nothing quiet and still thee but Jesus Christ Then surely thou dost live all the Creatures cannot quiet thee till thou hast Hopes that Christ is formed in thee Surely I find this Sign of Spiritual Life in me Again Dost thou grow It may be thou canst not say thou hast more Grace but
inward Parts Dost thou observe the Frame of thy Heart in those things which none but God knows 3. O my Soul Dost thou oppose and abstain from Sin And is this Opposition and Abstinence settled and fixed in thy Heart not only for some Fits and Seasons but is it the habitual Inclination of thy Soul Is there in thee a Difficulty yea a kind of Impossibility to sin with Wilfulness and purposed Continuance or with such an universal Consent of Soul as wicked Men do And doth this Impossibility to Sin arise from a kindly Work of Grace within and not from any terrible Restraint upon thy Conscience without Dost thou in good measure and by degrees not only leave outward gross Sins but even conquer and crucifie the inward Body of Sin Dost thou oppose and leave Sin because of the evil Nature of Sin because it is contrary to God Is the Bent and Inclination of thy Heart against Sin universally Dost thou with Paul bewail the evil Motions of thy Heart Dost thou with Hezekiah humble thy self for the Pride of thy Heart Is Pride Unbelief Earthliness and the several Lusts of thy Soul discovered and crucified Dost thou abhor secret Sins as well as publick and fear God's Knowledge of thy Sins more than all the Worlds Dost thou abhor and lament Defects in holy Ordinances as well as gross Sins Neglects of holy Duties Lukewarmness and Distractions therein Dost thou not only oppose Sin in thy self but set against it in others Dost thou choose rather to suffer Affliction with the People of God than to sin against God Art thou such an one that thou canst not sin as others thou darest not sin thou hast an Averseness to Sin Dost thou not live in a course of known Sins thou sinnest not out of Malice nor makest a Trade of Sin 4. O my Soul Dost thou perform Duties spiritually Are thy Motives and Ends spiritual in thy spiritual Actions such as the Command of God injoying of Communion with God the Light of his Countenance Increase of Grace c. Is there Zeal Fervency Activity in thy Performance of Duties Is there in thee a free Inclination to the Duties that God requireth Are there in thee strong Oppositions and Combats against the Flesh and unregenerate Part 5. O my Soul Dost thou love the Brethren Dost thou love them because of the Image of God in them Dost thou love them because they are godly Dost thou love all the Godly Rich and Poor High and Low but them most of all that excel most in Purity and Godliness Art thou ready and willing to own them as Brethren and to join with them in time of Persecution Hast thou an holy Zeal against Sinners an Impatiency and holy Grief at the Wickedness of others Dost thou procure all spiritual Good to the Brethren as thou art able Dost thou pray for them exhort them provoke them to Good Dost thou bear their Burdens and forbear their Infirmities And if sometimes thou findest some Envyings some Impatiencies towards some of the Brethren for in the best is Imperfection of Grace yet is thy Soul troubled at this Dost thou pray down these Sins in thy Heart and art thou at no rest till it be otherwise with thee Art thou not asham'd to be call'd one of the Believers one of the holy Brethren in time of Persecution 6. O my Soul Dost thou love Christ Dost thou evidence this Love by keeping his Commandments and by accepting of his Rebukes Is thy Love to Christ a strong and lasting ever-living and continuing Love Dost thou love him in Sincerity Cannot many Waters of Affliction quench this thy Love nor the Floods of Persecution drown it Is thy Love a transcendent Love surpassing all other Love Doth the Love of Father Mother Wife Son Daughter Brother Sister yea and of thy own Life also give place to this Love Doth Christ sit in the Throne of thy Heart and do all these sit below at the Foot-stool Dost thou bear such fervent warm Affections to Christ that thou wouldst be content to part with all rather than part with him Canst thou say with David The Lord is my Portion and whom have I in Heaven but thee and whom on Earth that I desire in comparison of thee The World it may be will be sometimes creeping into thy Affections thou can'st not be quite free from the Love of the World yet dost thou in thy ordinary settled prevailing Judgment and Affections prefer Christ before all things in the World Dost thou make Christ the End of thy Desires the very Reason why thou hearest and prayest Dost thou first seek the Kingdom of Christ and his Righteousness If thou dost not seek it so zealously as thou should'st yet hath it the Chief of thy Desires and Endeavours And is nothing else desired and preferred before it Is thy Valuation of it so high that thou would'st not exchange thy Title to it and Hopes of God's Acceptance for any Worldly Good whatsoever Nay art thou willing to labour and suffer for it and tho' the flesh may sometimes shrink or draw back yet art thou resolved and content to go through all 7. O my Soul Dost thou believe in the Lord Jesus Christ Dost thou find that thou art naturally a lost condemned Creature and dost thou believe that Jesus Christ is the Mediator who hath made a sufficient Satisfaction to the Law and considering that in the Gospel he is offered without Exception to All dost thou heartily consent that he and he alone shall be thy Saviour Art thou content to take him for thy King to govern and guide thee by his Laws and Spirit Art thou willing to obey him even when he commands the hardest Duties and those which most cross the Desires of the Flesh Is it thy Sorrow when thou breakest thy Resolution herein and thy Joy when thou keepest close in Obedience to him And tho' the World and Flesh do sometimes intice and over-reach thee yet is it thy ordinary Desire and Resolution to obey so that thou wouldst not change thy Lord and Master for all the World By these things he adviseth to try and bring our Hearts to answer suffer them not to be silent nor to think of other Matters If any Question be hard through the Darkness of our Hearts yet do not give it over but search the closer and study the case the more exactly and if it be possible let not our Hearts give over till we have resolved the Question and told us off or on in what case we are yea wrestle with thy Heart till thou hast prevailed and say I will not let thee go till thou hast answered He that can prevail with his own Heart shall also be a Prevailer with God When we have discovered the Truth of our State then pass the Sentence accordingly A meer Examination will do us little good if we proceed not to a Judgment Conclude as we find either we are true Believers or we are not either we have
a Title to Heaven or that we have not but pass not this Sentence with Self-Flattery nor from Melancholy Terrors and Fears 1st Not with Self-flattery Alas what will it profit us to think our selves the Children of God when we visibly express the Power of Sin and Satan in our Lives 2dly On the other side pass not this Sentence from Melancholy Unbelief Terrors and Fears As the carnal Man fails the former way so the tempted Christian sometimes fails this way In this Case run we over our Evidences again and again and proceed we from those that are more difficult to those that are more easie One Sign perhaps may be more easily perceived than another and if we can but discover some yea if but one we may assuredly gather all the rest are there Come then pass on now to Sentence O but implore the Spirit 's Assistance now if ever let us desire him to shine on our Graces and then speak groundedly and deliberately and truly as we find according to our very Consciences Do not conclude as some do I am a good Christian or as others do I am a Reprobate or an Hypocrite and shall be damned When we have no ground for what we say but our own Fancy or Hopes or Fears let not our Judgment be any way biass'd or brib'd from sentencing aright Then he further adviseth That we should labour to get our Hearts kindly affected with its discovered Condition according to the Sentence pass'd on it Do not think enough to know but labour to feel what God hath made us to see if we find our selves renewed and sanctified indeed O let us get this warm and close to our Hearts bethink our selves what a blessed Estate hath the Lord brought us into to be his Children his Friends to be pardoned justified and entitled to Life Why what is it we now need to fear but sinning against him Come War or Plague or Sickness or Death we are sure they can but thruft us into Heaven Thus let us follow these Meditations till they have left their Impressions on our Hearts Then he adviseth to record this Sentence so passed to write it down which now I desire to do this 18th of August 1676. Having searched and tried my Heart yesterday and at this time also after I hope earneft and hearty Prayer to God for the help of his Spirit to try my State and Condition I did fall again to the Work of Self-trial by the fore-mentioned Particulars and tho' I cannot fully declare a positive Answer to every Question yet if my Heart doth not very much deceive me I can to most of them I hope I can I beg of God I may not be deceived It is some Comfort to me where I cannot so fully answer some of them I hope I can truly say I most heartily desire it may be so with me And tho' Grace be very weak in me which I hope I desire to be humbled and mourn for yet I dare not deny God's Work in me I must not deny the Day of small-Things but to the Glory of God must own surely there is something of Good wrought in me by his Holy Spirit And my Comfort is Christ will not quench the smoaking Flax nor break the bruised Reed Mat. 12. 20. I am not now affected with the Discovery of my Condition as I should and do not find at present inward Comfort in my Soul I am and have been much under the Withdrawings of God for a time by reason of my Apostacy and Backslidings from him and not walking closely with him yet I desire I hope to lament after the Lord and not content my self till I again meet with him The Lord give me Grace to wait on him in a way of Duty and to act Grace tho' I want Comfort O if I am but sincere and wait still upon God who can tell but he may return with Comfort to my poor Soul The Lord help me to maintain Faith and Hop through Christ Tho' I sit in Darkness and see no Light yet to trust in the Lord and stay my self on my God Isa 50. 10. The Lord help me now to walk answerable to the great Things he hath done for my poor Soul I desire and hope I may have recourse to this hereafter as I shall have need And that it may be of Comfort to me for the time to come as Mr. Ambrose adviseth His Words are This Record will be very useful to us hereafter If we find we have a Work of Grace in us what a help will it be against the next Temptation to doubting and fear to go and read under our Hands this Record May we not think if at such a time I found the truth of Grace is it not likely to be now the same and these Doubts to come from the Enemy of my Peace Yet trust not so to one Discovery as to try no more Especially if we have made any soul Defections from Christ and play'd the Backsliders see then that we renew the Search again Neither let this hinder us in the daily Search of our Ways or of our Increase in Grace and Fellowship with Christ It is an ill Sign and a desperate vile Sin for a Man when he thinks he hath found himself gracious and in a happy State to let down his Watch and grow negligent of his Heart and Ways and scarce look after them any more Neither should we give over in Discouragement if we cannot at once or twice or ten times trying discover our Case but follow it on till we have discovered it if one Hour or Day will not do take another if one Minister cannot direct us sufficiently go to another the Issue will answer all our Pains There is no sitting down discouraged in a Work that must be done If we have been Hypocrites or ungodly Persons all our Lives yet is the Promise offered to us by Christ and he tenders himself to us to be our Lord and Saviour neither can we possibly be so willing to accept him as he is to accept us Nothing but our own Unwillingness can keep our Souls from Christ tho' we have hitherto abused him and dissembled with him O that the Lord would perswade us to the close Performance of this self-trying Task that we might not tremble with Horror of Soul when the Judge of all the World shall try us but have our Evidences so ready at hand and be so able to prove our Title to Heaven that the Thoughts and Approach of Death and Judgment might revive our Spirits and fill us with Joy and not apale us and fill us with Amazement September the 19th 1676. Finding my Heart very hard and dead of late and being still under the Withdrawings of God but I bless God I hope sensible of it and desirous to wait upon him for Discoveries of his Love and Favour and to lament after him and seek him in his Ordinances for I hope I cannot take up with Duty without something
Arms I will live or die with him Now deal truly with your Souls hath the Spirit of God wrought Faith in you in this manner 3dly You may know the Truth of Faith by its vital Act which is an hearty Consent to receive Christ It is a Conjugal Consent that makes your Faith a true Faith 1. That is when the Sinner hath regard to his Person as well as his Portion 2. When we receive him to be our Lord and Husband to be ruled by him as well as to be redeemed by him 3. It excludes all other Partners I will have Christ and none but Christ if I have him I have enough 4. It includes all Conditions I am content to be his in Want as well as in Wealth in Adversity as well as Prosperity in Temptation as well as Consolation I am content to follow him through Dirt and Mire and Blood 5. Such a Man yields to Christ out of Choice a Man willingly yields to Christ he can say I am thine wholly I have made Choice of thee to be my Portion my Redeemer 4thly True Faith may be known by the Fruits of it Some Fruits in reference to Christ some in reference to our selves The Fruits in reference to Christ are these 1. True Faith will make you highly to prize Jesus Christ You will set such a Price upon Christ that all the Beauty and Bravery and Pomp and Glory of the World all the Pleasures and Treasures in the World will be but a heap of Dung in comparison of him The Person of Christ is exceeding precious Cant. 5. 10. My Beloved is white and ruddy the chiefest of ten thousand his Mouth is Sweetnesses be is altogether lovely His Blood is very precious his Offices very precious his Graces very precious an Interest in him is very precious The Purchase of his Blood very precious the Inheritance incorruptible undefiled that fadeth not away is very precious all the Kingdoms of the World are not worthy to be compared to it 2. True Faith will work earnest fervent regular Desires after Christ and Communion with him This is certain where Faith is once wrought the Soul is restless till it rests in a Saviour These Desires after Christ may be known by four Properties 1. By the Ardency of them they are not weak and slight Desires but commanding Desires like the Desires of Hunger and Thirst that musr be satisfied Tell the Soul who desires Christ that he shall have the World and Riches enough No saith he that will not content me give me Christ or else I die Tell him of outward Comforts and Accommodations These are not Christ saith he 2. By the Activity of them These Desires will not be sluggish lazy Desires to look that Christ should drop into their Mouths without looking after him But if you desire Christ indeed you will earnestly seek him as a Man that is hungry indeed will be ready to break through any Difficulties for Food 3. By the Prevalency of them They will be prevalent and powerful Desires they will make thee content to part with something for Christ When Christ saith I would have thee leave such a Lust With all my Heart saith the Soul When Christ saith Follow me in any hard Duty as the Duty of Self-denial With all my Heart saith the Soul Moses was content to part with all his Preferment for Christ he counted the Reproach of Christ greater Riches than the Treasures of Egypt 4. By the Constancy of them If your Desires are right you will still be desiring more of Christ you will never be so satisfied as to say you have enough of him but be hungring and thirsting still Psal 119. 20. My Soul breaketh for the longing it hath to thy Judgments at all times A man that hath tasted of the Sweetness of Christ O that I might taste more saith he There is a thousand times more Sweetness in Christ than ever yet you tasted He that saith he knows Christ so much that he desires to know no more I dare say he never tasted the Sweetness of Christ at all For the more you have experienc'd the more you will hunger after him and desire him 3. Another Fruit of Faith in reference to Christ is this It will work an earnest fervent Love to Christ so that a Believer will love Jesus Christ above all things and say Thy Loves are better than Wine Cant. 1. 2. It is said the Loadstone will not draw Iron in the Presence of the Diamon so no outward Loadstone of Pleasure and Contentment can draw the Soul in the Presence of the Lord Jesus Christ When a Worldly Man doth boast These are my Lands and Houses and Enjoyments A Believer saith All my Pleasures and Riches and Jewels are in Jesus Christ As Mephibosheth said 2 Kings 19. 30. Let him take all for as much as I have seen the Face of my Lord the King So saith a true Believer Let worldly Men take all so I may see the Face of my Lord the King of Saints When a Believer can draw out the Quintessence of all Creature Comforts and say the Sweetness of all is in Christ O how sweet is he then to that Soul Again This true Faith will make a Man love Christ against all Difficulties and Temptations and Discouragements he can meet with in Heaven's way What tho' I suffer Reproach for Christ saith the Believer yet I can love him still nay tho' I suffer the Loss of all my Estate for Christ yet I can love him still nay tho' I suffer the Loss of my Life for Christ yet I will love him still Acts 21. 13. I am ready not only to be bound but to die for the Name of Christ This I confess is a high Act of Faith but no higher than many Martyrs have attained to They felt such a strong and unquenchable Love in Jesus Christ to their Souls therefore their Love was so drawn out to Christ again which made them ready to suffer and lay down their Lives for him Again True Faith will make a Man love Christ without outward Encouragements A Believer can say What tho' I want these outward Accommodations others have tho' I be as poor as Job on the Dunghil yet a naked Christ is to me more welcome than a beautified World that is deck'd with all the Plenty and Prosperity that can be imagined As the strongest Believer he that hath Assurance of Christ's Love may love Christ more strongly yet it is as true he that is the weakest Believer tho' he knows not whether he be beloved of Christ he loves Christ as truly as the other 4. Another Fruit of Faith is a Fear of offending him True Faith would not have Christ displeased it is true Faith casts out a slavish Fear but a Fear of Reverence and Watchfulness is the Fruit of True Saving Faith 5. True Faith will work Holiness and new Obedience Hence Faith is called a most holy Faith because it makes us holy we are sanctified
by Faith 6. True Faith works Patience not only Patience in waiting but Patience in suffering There is a Patience in waiting for the Accomplishment of the Promises Faith saith to a Believer The Things thou waitest for are worth thy waiting for them the Comforts thou desirest the Crown of Glory thou expectest is worth waiting for Again Faith works Patience in Suffering Heb. 10. 34. They took joyfully the spoiling of their Goods knowing they had in Heaven a more enduring Substance Heb. 11. 36. 37. They endured the Trial of cruel Mockings of Scourgings of Bonds and Imprisonments They were stoned sawn asunder tempted slain with the Sword they wandered about in Sheep-skins and Goat-skins being destitute forsaken tormented and yet their Faith in Jesus Christ carried them through all these Sufferings Faith tells the Soul The Sufferings of this present Life are not worthy to be compared with the Glory that shall be revealed 7. True Faith will work an undaunted Profession of Christ's Name He will profess Christ openly when called to it The Disciples professed Christ when it was Death to do so I am not asham'd of the Gospel of Christ saith the Apostle I esteem the Reproach of Christ better than the Glory of the World and the Cross of Christ better than the Crowns of the World I esteem his Crown of Thorns better than all others in this World I bear about me the Marks of the Lord Jesus Gal. 6. 17. he calls his Sorrows and Sufferings the Marks of Christ I esteem them my greatest Honour God forbid saith he I should glory in any thing but in the Cross of Jesus Christ Thus you see what Fruits Faith works in reference to Jesus Christ Now there are Fruits of Faith in reference to our selves as these following 1. True Faith works abundance of inward Peace and Joy Rom. 5. 1. Being justified by Faith we have Peace with God And it must needs be so because that Faith tells the Soul the Bond is cancelled that Sin is pardoned the Burden is taken off Wounds of Conscience are healed with the Wounds of Christ A Believer can say In Peace will I lay down my Head in the Bosom of Christ When Storms and Waves arise a Believer can sit in his Ark Christ and a good Conscience is an Ark for a poor Soul where he is safe A true Believer hath always the Ground of Joy tho' not always the Exercise of it 2. Another Fruit of Faith in reference to our selves is Boldness in coming to the Throne of Grace We have Boldness and Access by Faith in Christ Ephes 3. 12. A true Believer can pour out his Soul to God make his Moan to his Father It is his comfort he can go to his Father with a Child-like Boldness and Confidence 3. Another Fruit of Faith is Contempt of the World Acts 4. They sold their Possessions and brought the Money and laid it down at the Apostles Feet They regarded it no more than the Dirt under their Feet Faith hath an Eagle's Eye it sees things a far off and an Eagle's Wing to carry a Man above the Flatteries and the Frowns of the World By Faith Moses feared not the Frowns of the King Heb. 11. 27. Faith lets a Man see there is better to be found in Christ than in the whole World He that can find a World in Christ will be willing to part with all the World for Him 4. True Faith will produce a strong Desire of strengthening and encreasing it and that both in Truth and Growth It will make a Man still be searching his Heart that he may be sure he hath the Truth of Faith It makes a Man prize a Soul-searching Ministry that may plough up the Fallow Ground of his Heart And it works a Desire of Growth also it makes a Believer pray Lord encrease my Faith whether thou encrease my Trade and Wealth or no however Lord encrease my Faith After I had wrote these Things I went into my Closet and there begged of God his Help and Assistance to try my self by these Characters and then spent a little time going over them and trying my State by them and I bless the Lord I now cannot but say to his Glory that I find them in some measure in me I hope that those I could not so positively answer to yet I could in the Desire of my Soul I hope in the Lord I am not deceived If I am I beseech him for Christ's sake to undeceive me and let me know how it is with me But methinks God hath begun some good Work in me and wrought Faith in my poor Soul tho' it is very weak The Lord humble me and the Lord help me to bless his holy Name for the least Grace and earnestly to endeavour and beg of him the Encrease of it I hope in the Lord I may have recourse to what I have done this Day and what is entred before in a Time of Doubts and Fears in an Hour of Trouble under God's Withdrawings yea that I may have Comfort from it in an Hour of Death The Lord grant I may not now be secure and careless but that I may walk very closely and exactly before him to his Praise and Glory here till at last I come to live with him in his Heavenly Kingdom May the 9th 1678. I spent the Day in a Secret Fast One End among others I proposed to my self in it was to search into the State of my Soul again also that I may be inabled to suffer for Christ if I am called to it c. I hope I desired to be sincere and hearty I tried my self by the Marks and Characters before set down I hope I can say upon Search that the Lord hath wrought saving Grace in me it was I hope my hearty Prayer that if it was not so I might not so enter it here but I turst the Lord hath turned me from Darkness to Light and that I am not dead in Sins and Trespasses but there is a Principle of Life in me the Lord grant I may not be deceived Towards the close of the Day I read over my Covenant and hope I did from my very Heart desire to bewail the Breach of it and renew it with the Lord which I did I hope in the Strength of his Grace desiring Christ may be my Surety being much affraid of my being deceived lest it should be with me as heretofore I hope I did heartily take the Lord for my God and give up my self unto him and bind my self to forsake all Sin and to live more to his Glory according to the Covenant I entred into with the Lord about eleven Years since taken out of Mr. Allen 's Book I bless God I was assisted to Day in the Work I undertook the Lord accept of me thro' Christ and let not this Day be lost O that I may not prove false and hypocritical with him but go away enabled to live more to his Praise here till I come
to be for ever with him hereafter January the 30th 1682. I spent this Day in a Secret Fast in my Closet the main End I proposed to my self was to search again my Heart to find out whether there was a Work of Grace wrought in me or no also that I might get Corruption more subdued that is yet strong in me and that I may be inabled to suffer for Christ if I am called to it c. I hope I desired to be hearty in the Work tho' Hardness and Deadness was too much upon me The Lord forgive I hope I may say to the Glory of God that he hath begun that good Work in me that he will perfect of the Day of Christ I did earnestly beg of the Lord that I might not be deceived and hope I am not I trust the Lord hath pluck'd me out of a Natural Estate and turned my Heart from Sin unto himself The Lord grant I may now live answerable to the great things he hath done for me and keep the Covenant I have this Day renewed January the 30th 1684. I kept as a Fast and spent a good part of the Morning in Secret Prayer After Family Duty I went to hear a Sermon and then back to my Closet where I spent the rest of the Day The Ends I proposed to my self were That God would help me against Worldliness and distrust of his Providence for I have been much troubled of late by reason of many Losses and Trade being fallen almost to nothing and quiet my Mind and enable me to trust him and withal direct me how to proceed as to Earthly Things having some Thoughts of leaving this House And I desired also to be fitted for the Lord's Supper and that I might have Strength to suffer whatever God should call me to And in reference to the Publick I desired to seek God for Mercy to his Church and to these Nations I began with reading some Portion of God's Word then examined my self of the State of my Soul by some Characters of Grace in this Book I hope I desired heartily the Help of God and earnestly begg'd I might give a right Judgment of my self and was affraid of doing otherwise I hope I may say to God's Glory Surely there is somewhat of a Work of Grace that he hath graciously wrought in my Soul and that I am not dead in Trespasses and Sins Blessed O blessed be his Name I am not affected as I ought but am apt to fear still knowing my Heart is deceitful The Lord help me to be much in this trying Work for I cannot make too sure of my Salvation The Lord remove Doubts and Fears and strengthen my Faith in him and in his Promises After Self-examination I spent the rest of my Time in Prayer and hope I was hearty therein The Lord hear my poor Prayers for my self for my Children and for the Publick I also read over my Covenant entred into with the Lord many Years since and I renewed Covenant with God The Lord help me to live answerably and that Sin may be more subdued and Grace strengthened that I may find the Benefit of this Day while I live and be fitted for the everlasting Enjoyment of God in Glory February the 6th 1685. I kept a Fast by my self The main thing I had upon my Heart was the low Estate of the Church and of these Nations as also to search into the State of my Soul to get my Heart more taken off the World to have Corruption mortified and be enabled to suffer for Christ if called to it and never to forsake him I bless God I had his Assistance and hope I was hearty in the Work and that upon Trial I may say God hath begun a good Work which he will carry on and perfect to the Day of Jesus Christ O that I might make more sure of Christ and Grace and Heaven especially when I can make sure of nothing below but am at such Uncertainties as to all outward things The Lord help me to live in some measure answerable to his great Mercies and to keep the Covenant with him that I have this Day renewed Things whereby a Man may examine and judge of himself 1. If you would be saved you must by deep and serious Repentance forsake the World and Sin and turn to God in Christ and firmly believe in him 2. You must resign and devote your self to be the Lord's 3. You must take the Favour of God for your Happiness 4. You must be diligent in the Use of all holy Means and Duties 5. You must study the Scriptures to know God's Mind and do it 6. The whole Course of your Lives will be set to please and honour God Now examine whether you are like to be saved How is it O my Soul as to these things Do I go in the broad Way or not Let not the Devil keep you from this Self-Examination if he can prevail for that you may make a great Profession and do many things and yet perish for ever Judge of thy self by these things and seriously enquire 1. Whether Eternal Salvation have the Preheminence of your Esteem and Choice that you prefer it before all Wordly Prosperity 2. Is the obtaining of this Salvation and preparing for it the great Business of your Lives 3. Under the Sense of Sin do you give up your selves to Christ as the only Physician of Souls to heal and help and save you 4. Is it the sincere Desire of your Souls that you may be saved from Sin as well as Hell From the Power and Practice of Sin as well as from the Wrath of God 5. What is the Matter of thy Comfort Is it to converse with God To look up to him with Hope of his Acceptance Doth the Light of God's Countenance give thee more Joy than the Increase of Riches Canst thou say from thy Heart thou hadst rather be poor and despised and miserable in this World with God's Favour than to be the greatest Person in the World and God to be thine Enemy Examine by such Things as these O let me be in earnest for Christ and Grace and never rest till it be put out of Doubt that God in Christ is my God and that he hath made an everlasting Covenant with me If this be not I am undone for ever But this I must obtain or my Soul shall be in Bitterness before the Lord while I have a Being Nothing shall comfort me while I am Graceless and without Christ I am resolved for Him his Grace and Favour against all Denials If God will not let me see the Good of his Chosen and reveal his Christ and Grace in me I will mourn I will mourn while I live If God will not comfort me nothing else shall If I may not find Rest and Peace in Christ I will have none at all If God will take no Pleasure in me I will take none in my self My Tears shall be my Meat continually I
Christ far better The Dress for the Sacrament Lord where am I What! all the Children of the Bride-Chamber up and dress'd and I slumbring in my Bed Tell me ye fairest what make you up so early Alas our Lord was up before us all he called us up by Break-of-Day and wondered that we were not trimming our Lamps knowing with whom we were to feast this Day Well then I will rise up too O what a Shew do these bright and glittering Saints make in my Eyes surely they did not thus dress themselves It was my Father made them thus prepared to entertain his Son But where are my Cloaths Now for the fairest sweetest Robe of Thoughts and Wishes that can be found O how naked am I But where are my silken golden Twists of Faith to hang the Jewels of Joy and Love and Humility upon I am never dress'd till they be on O where are they I saw them by me but just now I laid them by my Heart before I went to Bed But ah I fear this envious World hath with her Vanities stolen them away or the envious Devil or Unbelief hath been ravelling or snarling of them that now I am as far to seek as ever Whither O whither shall I go to find them out Now will the Bridegroom come and I am not ready I cannot dare not go to Day now will my Lord be angry and ask me why I came not and I have no Answer to make him and if I go undress'd he will ask me where is my Wedding-Garment and then I shall be speechless Ah foolish simple Heart that thou should'st let these Thoughts of Earth so entangle themselves with thy Heavenly Meditations how to get them loose again thou know'st not this by Care thou mightest have prevented Now what Help Lord I have sinned O holy Father pardon this time and I will take more heed O come and untie my Thoughts from this Earth and come and dress me up as best pleaseth thee Come be not discouraged O my Soul let but thy Attire of Grace be whole that is sincere and thy God and Saviour will accept thee tho' thy Garments are not so much perfumed with Heaven as thy Brethrens are thy Lord knows all have not Talents alike and where he gives but little he expects but little thou hast an honest willing serious Heart that thinks it doth despise and trample under Feet the nearest dearest Pleasures Profits and Glories in the World compared with him that gave himself to Death for thee and hadst rather anger all the World than him by sinning against him in the least If this he true fear not thou hast thy Wedding-Garment on thou art well clad as mean soever as it is it is such an one as Heaven gave thee and such an one as thy dear Redeemer can and will embrace thee in The Presence-Chamber Fear not O my Soul I charge thee do not faint let not thy Weakness and the Poverty of thy Grace discourage thee see how thy Lord draws nigh O he comes and it is but to welcome thee and fall about thy Neck and kiss thee and bid thee a kind Welcome to thy bleeding Lord The Bread Welcome Fairest take and eat it is the sweetest Dainties dearest Morsel Heaven can afford thee Welcome my Dear to the Table of thy Lord welcome a thousand times I bid thee yea welcomer than thine own Heart can wish Take eat this Morsel it costs my Life it is a Portion thy Father sent unto thee by me and bid me remember thee of his Love to thee He bids thee remember a Father's Love I a Saviour's he hath a Heart to give thee and so have I take this in earnest of them both in one take freely if thou wert not welcome I would have told thee I would have ask'd thee for thy Wedding-Garment Tell me O tell me dost thou not love me I know thou dost And wilt not thou take the Cross and follow me I know thou wilt I heard thee and had Compassion on thy Groanings I know thee well enough thou art mine and I am thine take it I charge thee eat it as thou lovest me and while thou feedest remember the Love of thy dearest Redeemer The Wine Come my Dearest I have drunk and thou shalt pledge me I have broached my Sides and drew it on purpose for thee this is a Wine of my own making when I trod the Wine-Press of my Father's Wrath it is my Blood take and drink it Sin was the Cause of my wounding but to thy Soul it shall prove healing I died and bled to make this Banquet for thee I have brought thee into my Wine-Cellar and my Banner over thee shall be Love Fear not take and drink thou hast an Ulcer in thy Heart and this shall cure it thy Spirits are faint this shall revive thee Drink I charge thee drink on thy Love and Loyalty to me I command thee as thou wilt have thy Heart to mend thy Wounds to be cured thy Spirits to revive thy Fears to scatter thy Soul to love and obey me Take O take this Cup into thy Hand taste it and praise my Name Memorable Sayings and Passages collected and transcribed for his own Vse These are some among others WHat we are affraid to do before Men we should be affraid to think before God because our secret Thoughts are as obvious to the Eyes of God as our Actions to the Eyes of Men. God shewed more Mercy in saving some when he might have condemned all than he did Justice in leaving some to perish when he might have saved none Great Vertues without Sincerity of Heart are rejected when great Infirmities without Hypocrisie are pardon'd A good Intention cannot make a bad Action good tho' an ill Intention may make an Action in it self good to be evil He who presumes to sin in Hopes of Repentance shall be sure to repent because he presumes They who presume most in a time of Prosperity are most apt to despair in Adversity Repent one Day before thou diest was good Counsel I know not when that Day will be therefore I will repent to Day lest it should be too late to Morrow He that delays his Repentance one Day hath another Day more to repent of and one Day less to do it in God who joins the End and Means together doth accomplish all his Purposes of Good to us by working in us Desires and Endeavours sutable to those Purposes Better go to Heaven by the Gates of Hell than to Hell by the Gate of Heaven mourning to the Heavenly Glory than laughing to the Place of Torment One may suffer and not sin but if he sin he shall be sure to suffer Herod might have kept his Oath and not have cut off the Baptist's Head he only promised to grant what she ask'd to the half of his Kingdom whereas the Prophet's Head was more worth than the whole Such is the infinite Extent and Value of our Saviour's Merit that