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truth_n shall_v find_v i_o here_o such_o as_o i_o have_v be_v and_o not_o such_o as_o i_o may_v be_v traduce_v june_n the_o first_o 1637._o i_o must_v not_o forget_v to_o thank_v god_n that_o my_o fortune_n be_v not_o utter_o ruin_v consider_v how_o all_o help_n and_o hope_n have_v fail_v i_o in_o my_o cure_n and_o otherwise_o how_o costly_a diversion_n have_v be_v unto_o i_o whereby_o to_o support_v myself_o and_o how_o unfit_a i_o have_v be_v in_o the_o mean_a time_n to_o look_v to_o my_o estate_n debauch_n and_o gluttony_n have_v spoil_v many_o a_o body_n and_o fortune_n scrupulous_a abstinence_n and_o care_n i_o though_o i_o acknowledge_v my_o fortune_n and_o estate_n leave_v i_o be_v such_o as_o by_o this_o time_n i_o can_v in_o likelihood_n have_v so_o improve_v as_o that_o my_o quality_n shall_v not_o require_v a_o better_a yet_o this_o give_v i_o leave_v to_o make_v appear_v that_o be_v engage_v to_o marriage_n before_o eighteen_o year_n of_o age_n i_o have_v my_o quality_n 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its_o root_n from_o myself_o but_o rather_o from_o fatal_a mis-accident_n and_o predecessor_n undue_a consideration_n the_o good_a god_n be_v please_v to_o bless_v my_o son_n and_o make_v he_o as_o happy_a as_o i_o have_v be_v unhappy_a for_o my_o whole_a life_n since_o i_o have_v be_v a_o man_n have_v be_v but_o a_o conflict_n with_o the_o worst_a of_o disease_n and_o a_o wearisome_a seek_v for_o contentment_n plunge_v in_o a_o inextricable_a gulf_n of_o all_o misery_n another_o man_n possible_o will_v not_o have_v come_v off_o so_o well_o in_o fortune_n body_n or_o mind_n good_a god_n how_o vain_a and_o miserable_a a_o thing_n be_v man_n without_o thy_o good_a spirit_n to_o direct_v he_o by_o nature_n corrupt_v by_o art_n sophisticate_a and_o confound_v how_o lose_v in_o the_o ignorance_n and_o inexperience_n of_o youth_n how_o short_a of_o the_o tranquillity_n of_o other_o creature_n how_o often_o ruin_v by_o accident_n by_o mistake_a course_n i_o by_o that_o which_o man_n call_v good_a nature_n yet_o happy_a in_o worldly_a account_n be_v they_o who_o nature_n lead_v they_o not_o only_o to_o affect_v thrift_n which_o many_o by_o reason_n of_o other_o not_o bad_a affection_n imperfect_o do_v but_o to_o make_v it_o their_o pleasure_n their_o felicity_n which_o humour_n thorough_o possess_v they_o please_v profit_v and_o advance_v they_o in_o fortune_n and_o reputation_n whilst_o other_o breed_v to_o more_o ingenuous_a and_o fair_a appear_a way_n and_o study_n unthrifty_o miscarry_v how_o ill_o &_o unadvised_o do_v parent_n provide_v for_o their_o young_a heir_n give_v they_o tutor_n for_o learning_n and_o art_n neglect_v their_o instruction_n in_o true_a virtue_n and_o use_v of_o the_o world_n and_o their_o fortune_n how_o lamentable_a it_o be_v to_o see_v many_o who_o if_o leave_v to_o themselves_o will_v do_v well_o enough_o in_o the_o world_n overswaied_n by_o other_o and_o so_o turn_v out_o of_o their_o way_n as_o that_o they_o can_v recover_v themselves_o but_o alas_o why_o suppose_v i_o it_o will_v go_v well_o with_o we_o if_o leave_v to_o ourselves_o who_o know_v nothing_o more_o assure_o than_o this_o that_o all_o humane_a wit_n and_o resolution_n be_v vain_a without_o the_o powerful_a grace_n of_o god_n to_o assist_v we_o that_o i_o implore_v that_o alone_o be_v my_o comfort_n and_o support_v that_o sweeten_v all_o the_o bitterness_n of_o fortune_n unto_o i_o and_o but_o for_o that_o i_o will_v a_o thousand_o time_n as_o resolute_o and_o constant_o have_v leave_v this_o life_n as_o other_o fond_o and_o dote_o embrace_v it_o christian_a religion_n have_v need_n be_v maintain_v in_o our_o heart_n by_o a_o strong_a hand_n from_o above_o see_v it_o abridge_v we_o not_o only_o of_o our_o general_a liberty_n of_o this_o world_n delight_n but_o even_o of_o the_o freedom_n of_o leave_v the_o world_n when_o it_o afford_v no_o delight_n unto_o we_o june_n the_o seven_o 1637._o many_o thing_n concur_v to_o make_v i_o melancholy_n as_o a_o complexion_n sanguine_a incline_v to_o delight_n and_o pleasure_n yet_o withal_o a_o natural_a scrupulosity_n of_o election_n sensible_a of_o fair_a reputation_n and_o thrift_n affect_v with_o knowledge_n and_o at_o length_n a_o conscientious_a tenderness_n of_o faith_n and_o religion_n work_v i_o the_o great_a happiness_n but_o not_o without_o great_a perplexity_n i_o be_v young_a enter_v at_o court_n and_o by_o accident_n quick_o disheartened_a for_o that_o course_n the_o use_n of_o my_o fortune_n in_o the_o country_n be_v by_o want_n of_o mean_n to_o keep_v a_o comely_a house_n and_o other_o many_o cross_a respect_n not_o free_a unto_o i_o and_o though_o afterward_o i_o be_v draw_v to_o housekeep_v against_o my_o will_n and_o discourse_n yet_o both_o in_o my_o estate_n and_o disease_n by_o the_o care_n &_o retiredness_n incident_a thereunto_o especial_o in_o a_o short_a fortune_n it_o prove_v most_o pernicious_a unto_o i_o my_o disease_n likewise_o be_v much_o if_o not_o original_o 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wonder_v at_o my_o infirmity_n and_o disable_n in_o my_o fortune_n in_o conclusion_n impute_v it_o to_o my_o have_v be_v put_v out_o of_o my_o way_n upon_o what_o ground_n i_o know_v not_o but_o i_o be_o sure_a he_o be_v not_o mistake_v for_o first_o my_o early_a marriage_n in_o a_o short_a fortune_n abate_v the_o edge_n and_o alacrity_n of_o my_o spirit_n next_o the_o course_n and_o conversation_n of_o the_o court_n by_o accident_n make_v unfit_a and_o unfavourable_a to_o i_o have_v enter_v upon_o it_o be_v no_o small_a dejection_n myself_o also_o by_o the_o examination_n and_o test_n of_o discourse_n contradict_v â—â—chewed_v and_o restrain_v my_o natural_a and_o youthful_a inclination_n which_o other_o young_a man_n use_v with_o a_o full_a sail_n to_o give_v way_n to_o and_o uncontrol_o please_v themselves_o amate_v and_o contristate_v my_o mind_n but_o above_o all_o the_o good_a spirit_n of_o god_n who_o way_n and_o religion_n be_v opposite_a to_o flesh_n and_o blood_n and_o 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hospitium_fw-la calamitatis_fw-la &_o quamcunque_fw-la rem_fw-la malam_fw-la quares_n illic_fw-la inuenies_fw-la it_o insinuate_v itself_o at_o first_o as_o a_o flatter_a friend_n but_o in_o the_o treacherous_a sweetness_n of_o it_o we_o drown_v and_o lose_v ourselves_o like_o unlucky_a fly_n etc._n etc._n proh_fw-la jupiter_n quantum_fw-la mortalia_fw-la pectora_fw-la caecae_fw-la noctis_fw-la habent_fw-la how_o many_o way_n there_o be_v for_o we_o to_o lose_v ourselves_o in_o this_o world_n labyrinth_n and_o how_o many_o miscarry_v before_o they_o understand_v where_o they_o be_v why_o they_o come_v &_o what_o they_o have_v to_o do_v some_o lose_v themselves_o in_o their_o pleasure_n other_o in_o their_o trouble_n some_o find_v unfortunate_a and_o so_o deign_v some_o a_o linger_a ruin_n some_o be_v bear_v to_o â—â—â—re_v some_o to_o stormy_a day_n some_o to_o journey_n with_o the_o windâ—_n in_o their_o back_n some_o in_o their_o face_n if_o fate_n be_v but_o a_o dream_n the_o world_n have_v be_v much_o deceive_v the_o constancy_n of_o it_o in_o some_o man_n fortune_n speak_v it_o more_o to_o the_o christian_a all_o be_v the_o providence_n of_o god_n and_o there_o be_v no_o true_a plaster_n for_o the_o cure_n of_o a_o break_a heart_n a_o break_a fortune_n but_o the_o contemplation_n and_o application_n of_o his_o goodness_n and_o mercy_n by_o a_o lively_a faith_n that_o must_v be_v his_o gift_n and_o will_v dispel_v all_o cloud_n storm_n and_o discomfort_n it_o little_o import_v what_o weather_n we_o find_v in_o a_o short_a journey_n so_o we_o attain_v at_o our_o journey_n end_n a_o place_n of_o perdurable_a joy_n and_o comfort_n how_o full_a of_o darkness_n be_v the_o mind_n of_o man_n how_o little_o do_v we_o understand_v and_o how_o little_a be_v we_o able_a to_o make_v use_n without_o god_n grace_n of_o what_o we_o know_v how_o often_o and_o violent_o be_v we_o transport_v as_o it_o be_v against_o our_o will_n against_o our_o knowledge_n how_o obvious_a and_o near_a unto_o we_o be_v thing_n ordinary_o most_o useful_a and_o affect_v which_o yet_o we_o be_v most_o blind_a to_o discern_v at_o our_o need_n such_o be_v our_o frailty_n such_o our_o blindness_n so_o that_o neither_o ear_n eye_n knowledge_n will_n or_o understanding_n be_v far_a available_a than_o it_o shall_v please_v god_n to_o bless_v they_o he_o alone_o it_o be_v that_o give_v the_o will_n and_o the_o deed_n and_o without_o he_o the_o will_n be_v uneffectual_a he_o have_v small_a experience_n of_o the_o world_n or_o have_v little_o observe_v himself_o who_o have_v not_o this_o experience_n it_o have_v please_v god_n to_o have_v bless_v i_o with_o some_o understanding_n some_o industry_n and_o some_o holy_a affection_n towards_o he_o all_o have_v fail_v i_o and_o in_o all_o i_o have_v be_v fail_v to_o myself_o yet_o through_o many_o fall_v and_o frailty_n i_o be_o confident_a at_o last_o by_o his_o great_a mercy_n to_o have_v attain_v such_o grace_n as_o will_v abide_v 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and_o quiet_a retreat_n from_o the_o world_n and_o worldly_a care_n have_v long_o be_v as_o you_o know_v and_o still_o be_v all_o my_o ambition_n it_o be_v easy_a to_o wish_v then_o to_o find_v my_o appetite_n to_o the_o world_n be_v never_o much_o howsoever_o i_o have_v appear_v if_o ever_o it_o have_v be_v any_o thing_n it_o be_v now_o past_a my_o conversation_n be_v more_o in_o the_o other_o world_n than_o this_o and_o that_o the_o rather_o see_v if_o my_o distaste_n mislead_v i_o not_o the_o generality_n of_o man_n spirit_n be_v not_o possess_v with_o that_o sweetness_n courtesy_n familiarity_n indulgency_n and_o love_n to_o goodness_n as_o be_v wont_a to_o be_v but_o here_o my_o paper_n force_v i_o to_o a_o end_n and_o to_o profess_v myself_o as_o you_o shall_v ever_o find_v i_o 1640_o be_v sincere_o affectionate_a friend_n and_o servant_n du._n north_n sen._n a_o sudden_a free_a and_o opportune_a discourse_n to_o the_o present_a 28._o of_o march_n 1641._o our_o weather_n be_v 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as_o my_o preface_n late_o mention_v adventure_v in_o a_o private_a way_n upon_o the_o press_n and_o that_o now_o near_o a_o end_n with_o i_o how_o censorious_a and_o tender_a soever_o the_o time_n be_v i_o can_v be_v so_o stupid_a as_o total_o to_o forbear_v a_o resentment_n of_o our_o unparalleled_a calamity_n our_o sacred_a anchor_n be_v come_v home_o our_o ultimate_a hopeful_a pacifique_a treaty_n be_v dissolve_v ecstasy_n and_o despair_n succeed_v eye_n turn_v to_o fountain_n there_o be_v no_o balm_n in_o gilead_n tantum_n religio_fw-la potuit_fw-la suadere_fw-la malorum_fw-la no_o no_o it_o be_v not_o religion_n it_o be_v nothing_o of_o sincere_a piety_n it_o be_v in_o the_o root_n the_o artifice_n the_o ambition_n the_o malice_n of_o prevaricate_a jesuit_n and_o priest_n poor_a silly_a infatuate_v laity_n they_o have_v a_o mission_n as_o of_o sheep_n among_o wolf_n but_o they_o invert_v it_o upon_o you_o they_o drive_v you_o to_o their_o shambles_n nay_o they_o prevail_v with_o 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inevitable_a ruin_n alone_o must_v