Woossat Enters into her Charriot Bru. Inhumane Woossat do not run And let thy Son be quite undone I thee conjure don't leave her thus By thy beloved Incubus Thy publick Drabs and private dores Thy little Bottles and great scores Thy much Impudence and no shame By all thy sports and by that same Oh stay the Cart stay the Cart stay the Cart. He lays hold and is drawn up till he pulls down the Charriot Iustice Crab is driven in in a Wheel-barrow Bru. O ho here 's Justice Crab now by this light He 'l do me right Dear Soul I beg you 'l check the Hag And read her a Lecture for abusing her Hector Crab. Matron of love be kind to bauling Imp And let him have his am'rous shrimp If Hector be disgruntl'd Trade is broken He 'l make thy mischiefs known by tale and token Redstreak and the King you made dye And caused the Princess sad Tragedy Both Sisters ruin'd by your Plot If Nonsy too should go to Pot. He 'd blaze all this about the Town And make thy very house pull'd down Wooss. Shall he have mortal only to his use When Pomp and State ne'r so much bigger Can 't keep frail Missy to one trigger No 't is to credit Trade and House abuse Besides she 'l eat Bread out of mouth I will not suffer 't 'faith and troth Crab. Nonsey's business shall be done She 's mortal therefore may be wone No Missy was ever true to one Wooss. Then Nonsy rise rise my sweet punck She seemed dead yet was but drunk Rise from thy Chair as soft as Couch And turn to Arms of loving Slouch None-so-fair Wakes Non. Wha wha what 's the matter who 's there Not guilty Not guilty my Lord Tagrâ—g Hâ—igh ho I wish you were all hang'd for waking me Gods have I my pretty thing again Bru. Thou hast Oh let me hug and buss it Thanks to great Crab and Mother Woossat Non. I have Oh let me hug and buss it Thanks to great Crab and Mother Woossat Crab Come jolly lovers let 's be trudging I le see you both safe in your lodging There kiss and take your fill of dodging First to my Hall for there are coming A Crew of jovial youth 's a mumming So well you shall be treated there That ev'ry Youth and Damzel here Shall envy joys of Youth and Bear Exeunt all The Scene open'd discovers a Crew of Bachanals dressed with Ivy and Vine-leaves drinking and laughing beyond them a company of Lovers adorn'd with Garlands of Roses c. in a pleasant Grove Song by the Bacchanals Time 's an old Rascal he never will stay Yet in spite of his Scythe and his Glass He that flies from his liquorâ— an Ass. Boy drink away Boy drink away While this is a singing Bacchus rises riding on a Hogshead dressed with Vine-branches and Ivy. Song by the Lovers Ah! Charming Fair Divine Ice Flames Darts Nymph Goddess beauties shrine O eyes and hearts Stars Suns and Diomands Roses and Lillies Damon Alexis Oh Cloris Ah Phillis Powr's Gods and Fates Oh pity joy and pain Languish alass Fears Hopes Smiles and Disdain Oh cruel Nymph Ah unrelenting Swayn While this is singing Cupid flies down on the Stage Bacchus sings Come my Sons of the Grape while your faces outshine The Sun in the Sky with the juice of the Vine Let the pale whining lover discover How sad are the Chains and how pleasant are mine While this is singing all the Bacchanals come on the Stage Cupid sings Come happy Lovers come and tell The joys that in your Bosom's dwell The pleasures of the hands and eyes How ev'ry look and touch surprize Let your perswasive Language prove There is no Paradice but Love While this is singing the lovers come on the Stage Chorus of all We come to dye or win the Field For hearts with Love and Bacchus fill'd Can fight and fall but never yield A Dance of Bacchanals and Lovers A Song by a Lover When Caelia my heart did surprize In an Ocean of grief my fair Goddess did rise And like Christal dissolv'd the tears flow'd from her eyes From her beautiful Cheeks all the Roses withdrew And she look'd like a Lilly o'rladen with dew How sweet did her sorrow appear How I trembl'd and sigh'd and for every tear Made a vew to the Gods and a Prayer to her Oh how soft are the wounds we receive from the fair But the joys and the pleasures there 's none can declare What panting and fainting I feel When imbracing her feet before Caelia I kneel Oh how dear are her smiles and how sweetly they kill Ev'ry minute I dye with the thoughts of her Bliss And she breaths a new life in each languishing kiss O Love let us still wear the Chain Let no Passion but love in our fancies e'r reign Let us often be cur'd and ne'r freed from our pain All the pleasures of Wine to the Sense are confin'd But 't is Love is the Noblest delight of the mind SONG by a Bacchanal Lovers grow pale and Beauties grow stale And their pleasures end all like an old Winters tale But the Beauties of Wine do still sparkle and shine And make all that love it and drink it Divine Love makes you old e'r thirty is told But the aged and cold become active and bold Look as plump and as brisk as the Grape that 's unprest When their heads with the Spirit of Wine are possest The Clouds open and from the inner part of the Heaven descends Iupiter in his Charriot drawn by Eagles Jupiter sings Let Love and Wine no more contend To whose high Pow'rs all Mortals bend Before this Assembly where are The Amorous the Youthful and Fair Make an end of your long doubtful War Chorus Why should you quarrel and fiercely complain All the World is your own your Rites would maintain But without one another you neither can Reign A Chorus of Cupid and Bacchus Let Hermes the Herald of Heaven and Fame The Union of Cupid and Bacchus proclaim Trumpets are heard a far off the Heavens divide and from the furthest end Mercury flies down attended by Fame and the whole Heaven appears adorn'd with Angels c. and Musick Mercury sings To all and to Singular in this great meeting The weighty Gods Cupid and Bacchus send greeting Whereas by some Poets a wicked design Of difference was raised between Love and good Wine They now do declare An end of the War And the hearts of all Mortals will equally share Chorus When Beauties are cruel to banish your care From Love to the Charms of Bacchus repair And when Bacchus inflames you with too hot a Fire To the pleasures of Love for assistance retire A Catch sung in three parts and danc'd By Bacchanals and Lovers Let 's love and drink and drink and love and drink on What have we else in this dull World to think on But still to love to drink and love and drink on Let 's love and drink and drink and love for ever And let each Nymph be made a kind believer For he that loves and drinks will ne'r deceive her Enter two Elizian Princes and dance through Hoops The Dance ended Mercury speaks to the Audience Although the War 'twixt Love and Wine is done We dare not triumph 'till your pleasure 's known For here the very Gods your Powers own If all that Love and Drink loud plaudits ring The joyful Gods and Nymphs again shall sing Sing And Nonsy shall injoy her pretty thing FINIS EPILOGUE LIke Cunning Wives to cheat you to your Bliss We took the Garb and Humours of your Miss As gay as vain and ayery we are grown And you as brisk as young Gallants came on And look as dull as they now th' Act is done Since Non-sense Noise and Show still bear the Bell As wise Physicians do with Mad-men deal We humour you to make you sooner well If this won't take T'insure our future charge and Credit too As undertakers for great Volumes do We 'l paint your Coats of Arms o'r ev'ry Scene And dedicate 'm t' ye to draw you in Poor Nonsy dreading the approaching storm Sits trembling like a Hare within her Form While Criticks swarm from ev'ry part o'th'Town Prepar'd with Damning noise to run her down She fears no Gen'rous Hunters for they come Only for sport and would prevent her Doom She fears no snarling Fops though ev'ry foot Like eager Lovers they will put her to 't Still hunting close and snatching at her Scut No only sneaking Poachers she can dread That with their long-tail'd Mungrils hunt for Bread And lurk in holes to knock her on the head Tou Gentlemen that for your pleasure came Let not those creeping Vermine kill your game Give her fair Law and while in view she flies Your swelling hopes and sweet delights will rise But when you paunch her all your pleasure dies Keep up your sport and to prevent our sorrow Save her this night and run her down to morrow Non-so Now to the Misses thus poor Nonsy bends To leave no stone unturn'd to gain our ends You She-Weavers that without lawless Engines come Engines That like dark Lanthorns lurk in little Room And manage twenty Shuttles with one Loom While honest Lab'rers that can use but one For want of work lye still and are undone Let all your Tools be stirring for your Aid Or we will burn your Engines and destroy your Trade FINIS
praise of the most Heroick and Magnificient Sciences of Wenching and Drinking A Ditty fit for Sphears and Quires of Cupid when Gods are deaf and Princes grow stupid My dear Nonesy set them in the way SONG Let Taffy go seek for his bliss in a Leek And Teag in hot Isquebagh flobber Jocky be doing with Oatcakes and Sowing And sup up their brave Bonny clabber Chorus But let Misses and Gallants make use of their Talents To be Wise is to love and be drunk For drink and that same will get you a name When your healths and Estates are all sunck Let sullen old Men keep their beesom Beards clean Let Slaves strive for Honour and Riches Let Widgeons debate our Religion and State And Matrons be sober as Witches Cho. But let Misses c. Let 's drink and be clapp'd till our Shin-bone sore scrap'd And gems deck our faces all over Till Palsies and Cramps make our eyes shine like Lamps For such is the true drunken lover Cho. Yet let Misses c. A Warlike Dance and then Exeunt all but None-so-fair Sweetlips and Woudhamore None Now Sisters did not I rise with my back upwards met this what do'e call him Woud Ay! what do'e call him indeed I 'le be hang'd if he does not deal with the Divel Second me Lippy Sweet No no the Divel he is n't so good a Scholar 'T is some pitiful juggling Jack-pudding some strolling Tumbler Woud When he grows a little weary of you he 'l strip you and leave you nay say y' are oblig'd to him for teaching you a modish Trade by which you may come to keep your Coach if you have any Fortune None I won't despair since the Proverb 's on my side Fools have Fortune and Cracks have luck I can pretend to both by vertue of my Education Woud If his Highness were true and trusty why should he hide his Title None Oh say no more I tremble all over Enter Ieffry Ieffry. Madam great Sisters must be packing My Master finds some Trenchers lacking Nonsy How Royal Sisters grown light finger'd Of Princesses was e'r so foul a thing heard Richer Goods in house could not be chosen Odznigs they cost two groats a dozen Woud How steal your Trenchers Traps marry come up here I find we should pay sauce if we should sup here Sweet 'T is not gentilely done Faith Sister Nonsy Woud And if we had you out i'gad we 'd trounce ye Non. Minxes cease your idle prittle prattle And render back my Goods and Chattle Wond Minxes a ha let 's give her battle Sweet We 'l thump bewitching eyes black and blue Put tricks on Daughters of King Andrew They fight Fnter Bruin Ieffry. Great Master comes with arms a kimboe Bru. Take filching Madams hence to Limbo Hence or thy self shalt strait for them go Wouda Must we that have sent Princess thither go our selves Hear me Justice if there 's any Let 's not be long without company Bru. Away with them Sweet As by 's own Bull was kill'd Phalaris W' are sent to Prison by Will. Harris Exeunt Jeffry Sweetlips and Woudha Bru. This was an Intrigue of love and state poor Ladies they stole no Trenchers but I heard Baggages contrive To undermine Prerogative And to seduce if they were able My Importance comfortable Before I 'm weary of Bauble Nonsy To Prison sent for filching Trencher-Plate When we had none in house Oh too too late I do begin to smell a Rat. Ah wo is me poor little mouse Bru. Why frowns my beautious dear Thy Forheads muffl'd in black pouts Like warlike Steed in Fun'ral clouts That did eftsoons both prance and neigh And briskly fell to Oats and hay As if he promised a fair day But strait in black dog'd masters Course My dear looks sad as morning Horse Nonsy Poh you prate and prate but you don't love me Bru. Love thee ungrateful Imp Ah curse on thy jealous Noddle another word I 'le squeeze thee like a Custard Devour thee without Salt or Mustard Ha my Princess sniv'ling who has disbused thee Pydy tell me if I have ought can give thee ease I swear 't is thine now by this Cheese the Oath of Gods Non. Enough and if 't is Truth tell me thy name Oh charming youth Bru. Heavens Powers Oh hold Non. Nay nay you have sworn I must have all the Secrets that are thine Bru. Must I my Secretest Secret then resign Non. Why should you keep your Secret and yet take mine Bru. Prythee Nonsy ask any thing else Non. No nothing Bru. The Devil take me if Nonsy Is this your love miserable unhappy Princess perjur'd dissembling men before you had me you swore any thing You use poor Women as Children do Bubbles you spare for no water of Sighs nor black Soap of Oaths till you have blown us up with the Reed of your love and then you cast us off to break in the wide World Ah! that ever I poor vertuous Lady should live to see this day Oh! ho ho. Bru. Well if like a wall-ey'd Hare you won't see right before you but run into the noose take your ill fortune Non. Ay let me have it Bru. Shall I speak Non. Ay ay I say Bru. Then I shall you say Non. Odslifelykins ay I say Bru. Consider Non. I 'le be hang'd first when did a longing Woman consider Non. What what Oh quickly Bru. I am Non. Heart blood and bones what are you Bru. Yet be wise Nan. I will not be wise nor hear nor see nor speak till I know Bru. I am Deval Non. Bless us all Bru. That French Prince of the Padders that was thought to be hang'd I have liv'd ever since in this disguise because I would not quite break the kind Ladies hearts to see me hang'd twice But now must fly for thy folly least I am caught And pawn my pretty Nonesy for the shot Exit Bruin claps on the Bears skin and flies over the Stage The Scene chang'd to a Tavern Enter two Drawers 1. I come I come did you call Sir ha where 's the Gentleman that pays the reckning look to the door Harry 2. What 's the matter 1. A Crack a Crack to pay here in the Flower Pot 2. Eleven and three pence a Pox I know her she plies at the Pagean Non. O gen'rous Youth speak not untruth I am a Princess of King Andrews stock in sooth Right Valiant Knights spare my Honour and do what you please but use your Victory with discretion for Fortunes Wheel is still turning 1. Knights Honour and Fortune ' gad she 's mad 2. Didst find any Honour about her 1. No no Honour If women have any such thing they hide it so cunningly that none can find it Harry thou knowest we melted down a Silver Tankard to sodder up Cisses crack'd Honour let 's swear she stoll it and clap a strong House upon her back to keep her warm 2. But first let 's strip her come strip strip 1. Ay ay this is she stoll
all day all night with din With Hempen cord have great Toe cramp'd By Dog of Newgate thump'd and stamp'd By Rogues and Vermine kept from sleep While some do roar and some do weep Oh Woossat harsh Prince Bruin cruel To sneak away from precious Jewel Yet in these horrours I could sing Had I again my pretty thing Song Let Beauty triumph o're despair For none are cruel to the Fair The Crooked the Old and deformed shall be From cares and affronts never free But the Youthful the pretty and kind In a Prison some pity will find For all are to Love and to beauty inclin'd One gives her a Bottle of Brandy and Sings this Come hither and take this Bottle of Nantz 'T will make mother Woossat soon leave off her rants For I know she is one of my Naunts Though she 's hot as a Codling 'T will make her straight Maudlin She 'l sip she 'l sigh she 'l swear she 'l sing and she 'l melt She 'l kiss thee and groan for the pains thou hast felt Chorus Alass my poor Nonsy I grieve for thy smart For though an old Woman be never so tart A dram of the Bottle will soften her heart Song Thy Sisters must howl for the Trenchers they stole And the Princes are in the Pit-hole There they shall stay For ever and a day But Nonsey shall straight go to play 1. Make hast poor Nonsey 2. Make hast poor Nonsey Both. Make hast poor Nonsey to Bruin 1. For Nonsey shall injoy her pretty thing 2. For Nonsey c. Both. For Nonsey c. Chorus of all make hast poor Nonsey make c. make For Nonsey Non. Now I am so glad and so sorry I don't know which Leg to set foremost My Sisters were two crabbed vixons to me yet their Sufferings put out the lighted Tinder of my joy but then the Steel of my love strikes new Fire into the Tinder-box of my Inclination and makes my natural affection glow again I shall injoy my Bear for ever Oh happy Nonsey yet this was a horrible merry Tragedy O lo the Princess Nicklas and Phillip here again Enter Princess Phil. and Nick. Nick. No we are but their Ghosts Non. Their Ghosts Oh! 't is well you say so your selves for no-Body would believe it from any other what makes you come to me Nick. We vow'd at our Death 's to come and tell you what place we were at Non. Poor loving Ghosts tell me quickly then Nick. Immediately after we were dead we found our selves in a â—â—wer made all of Wishes pav'd with thoughts where at a Table of Heigh-hoes sat King Andrew and Mother Redstreak at Dinner they had a Phaenix boil'd with a Dish of love Raptures and drank nothing but Spirit of Extasie we sat down with them and Six Gods attended us after Dinner we slept upon a Couch of Virginity imbroyder'd all over with Kings smiles then walking by a Fountain of Fruition who should we see but King Andrew and his Queen at Hey-gammer-Cook in a Grotto of Innocence Non. Oh most ravishing delights but why is Phillip's Ghost so mopish Nick. He would have been kind to Gammar Redstreak and she threw a Glass of extasie in his Chops One thing dear Princess we must intreat of you that you will sing that Ingenious Song of the delights of the Bottle three and thirty times and make as many Cursy's to the West for till that is done our Soul's won't be free of Elyzium Nonsy Upon my Honour I 'le do 't though I were to give my self a thump in the back ev'ry time For example Song The delights of the Bottle and the Charms of a drab When they pour out their pleasures will make a man mad All the night in deep Healths and loud Curses is spent Which the dull silly Fop the next day does repent And Love 's sweet debauch in a moment is gone But leaves a damn'd Pox to last all the life long Love and Wine rule the Swords that shed so much Blood All the World but for them would grow vertuous and good Were it not for the Witchcrafts of Wenching and Wine Madam would be poor and my Lord would be fine But she now keep her Coach and can live without thinking And damns her Debauch with his Wenching and Drinking Nick. Enough enough dear Princess farewel when thus you do Think of us two Phil. Dear Princess Farewel When thus you do think of us two For I 'm a Ghost though I stood so like a Post. None Farewel two such loving Ghosts were never found On English Ground The delights of the Bottle c. Oh how I begin to be weary If this will make Mother Woossat's heart chearful sure 't will refresh me Princess thy good health Nonsy I 'le pledge thee six go-downs humming stuff upon my honour Princess where is this sold Princess Asking questions Nonsy Time's precious Ah poor loving Ghosts The delights of the Bottle c. You had hard Fortune but there 's one above knows all Oh my head swims and I grow faint with strength My dear Bear farewell The delights of the Bottle She falls asleep Enter Bruin Bru. Where is my love where is my dear O lemine I think she 's here Where are thy eyes thy pretty eyes Look how thy love poor Bruin cries She 's dead she 's dead she 's dead Oh! whither art thou fled Oh Mother Woossat Oh cruel Death Oh! who has stop'd thy spicey breath Oh pretty Nonsy Oh hapless Bruin Oh fie Oh dear Oh me Oh thee Oh hear Thy sobbing houling Bear Oh Woossat Mother since tha 'st kill'd my joy I will thy Imps and sucking Toads destroy Thy Charmes and Pictures all shall perish too And what so e'r thou dost I will undo Woossat flies down in her Charriot Wooss. So Insolent why what a Murrain You 'l find the stink the worse for stirring Bru. I will revenge my dear Nonesee On Justice Crab and eke on thee What Hellish Teen what Devilish Ire Made thee leave Nonsey in the mire Wooss. For her you did neglect my Trade And when to Wishing-Chair I call'd for aid You wheedl'd him to be your Bawd Bru. Oh save my love my Nonsy save And I 'le for ever be thy Slave I 'le trot to Carriers ev'ry week Fresh Countrey Ware for thee to seek And when thou hast'm I 'le bring thee ev'ry Gallants Custom Wooss. Pry'thee stint thy silly talk Thou mayest as well turn Cheese to Chalk Bru. Oh my Nonsey Oh my heart Blood and Guts Oh save my dear Oh save my Queen of Sluts Thou stony-hearted Witch is this so much Think what fine Nymphs I did for thee debauch Wooss. Thou prat'st in vain the cruel Dye is cast Bru. Oh cruel Mother whither in such hast I 'le show thy tricks and all thy conjuring Art And make thee ride in Triumph in a Care No Gallant e'r shall rap at dore And without Man in vain is Whore Wooss. Th' art insolent I 'le hear no more