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A30143 Grace abounding to the chief of sinners, or, A brief and faithful relation of the exceeding mercy of God in Christ, to his poor servant John Bvnyan wherein is particularly shewed, the manner of his conversion, his fight and trouble for sin, his dreadful temptations, also how he despaired of Gods mercy, and how the Lord at length thorow [sic] Christ did deliver him from all the guilt and terrour that lay upon him : whereunto is added, a brief relation of his call to the work of the ministry, of his temptations therein, as also what he hath met with in prison : all which was written by his own hand there, and now published for the support of the the weak and tempted people of God. Bunyan, John, 1628-1688. 1666 (1666) Wing B5523; ESTC R3994 67,228 108

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Servant for I had not preached long before some began to be touched by the Word and to be greatly afflicted in their minds at the apprehension of the greatness of their sin and of t●eir need of Jesus Christ. 226. But I at first could not believe that God should speak by me to the heart of any man still counting my self unworthy yet those who thus were touched vvould love me and have a peculiar respect for me and though I did put it from me that they should be awakened by me still they would confess it and affirm it before the Saints of God they would also bless God for me unvvorthy Wretch that I am a●d count me Gods Instrument that shevved to them the Way of Salvation 227. Wherefore seeing them in both their words and deeds to be so constant also in their hearts so earnestly pressing after the knowledge of Jesus Christ rejoycing that ever God did send me where they were then I began to conclude it might be so that God had owned in his Work such a foolish one as I and then came that Word of God to my heart with much sweet refreshment The blessing of them that were ready to perish is come upon me yea I caused the widows heart to sing for joy Job 29.13 228. At this therefore I rejoyced yea the tears of those whom God did awaken by my preaching would be both solace and encouragement to me for I thought on those Sayings Who is he that maketh me glad but the same that is made sorry by me 2 Cor. 2.2 and again Though I be not an Apostle to others yet doubtless I am unto you for the seal of my Apostleship are ye in the Lord 1 Cor. 9.2 These things therefore were as another argument unto me that God had called me to and stood by me in this Work 229. In my preaching of the Word I took special notice of this one thing namely That the Lord did lead me to begin where his Word begins with Sinners that is to condemn all flesh and to open and alledge that the curse of God by the Law doth belong to and lay hold on all men as they come into the World because of sin Now this part of my work I fulfilled with great sence for the terrours of the Law and guilt for my transgressions lay heavy on my Conscience I preached what I felt what I smartingly did feel even that under which my poor Soul did groan and t●emble to astonishment 230. Indeed I have been as one sent to them from the dead I went my self in chains to preach to them in chains and carried that fire in my own conscience that I perswaded them to beware of I can truly say and that without dissembling that when I have been to preach I have gone full of guilt and terrour even to the Pulpit-Door and there it hath been taken off and I have been at liberty in my mind until I have done my work and then immediately even before I could get down the Pulpit-Stairs have been as bad as I was before Yet God carried me on but surely with a strong hand for neither guilt nor hell could take me off my Work 231. Thus I went for the space of two years crying out against mens sins and their fea●ful state because of them After which the Lord came in upon my own Soul with some staid peace and comfort thorow Christ for he did give me many sweet discoveries of his blessed Grace thorow him wherefore now I altered in my preaching for still I preached what I saw felt now therefore I did much labour to hold forth Jesus Christ in all his Offices Relations and Be●efits unto the World and did strive also to discover to condemn and remove those false supports and props on which the World doth both lean and by them fall and perish On these things also I staid as long as on the other 232. After this God led me into something of the mystery of union with Christ wherefore that I discovered and shewed to them also And when I had travelled thorow these three chief points of the Word of God about the space of five years or more I was caught in my present practice and c●st into Prison where I have lain as long to confirm t●e T●uth by way of Suffering as I vvas before in testifying of it according to the Scriptures in a vvay of Preaching 233. When I have been in preaching I thank God my heart hath often all the time of this an● the other exercise with great earnestness cried to God that he would make the Word effectual to the salvation of the Soul still being grieved lest the Enemy would take the Word away from the Conscience and so it should become unfruitful Wherefore I should labour so to speak the Word as that thereby if it were possible the sin and per●on guilty might be particularized by it 234. Also when I have done the Exercise it hath gone to my heart to think the word should now fall as rain on stony places still wishing from my heart O tha● they who have heard me speak this day did but see as I do what sin death hell and the curse of God is and also what the grace and love and mercy of God is thorow Christ to men in such a case as they are who are yet estranged from him and indeed I did often say in my heart before the Lord That if to be hanged up presently before their eyes would be a means to awaken them and confirm them in the truth I gladly should be contented 235. For I have been in my preaching especially when I have been engaged in the Doctrine of Life by Christ withou● Works as if an Angel of God had stood by at my back to encourage me O it hath been with such powe● and heavenly evidence upon my own Soul while I have been labouring to unfold it to demonstrate it and to fasten it upon the Conscience of others that I could not ●e contented with saying I believe and am sure methought I was more then sure if it be lawful so to express my self that those things which then I asserted were true 236. When I went first to preach the Word abroad the Doctors and Priests of the Countrey did open wide against me but I was perswaded of this not to render rayling for rayling but to see how many of their carnal Professors I could convince of their miserable state by the Law and of the want and worth of Christ for thought I This shall answer for me in time to come when they shall be for my hire before their face Gen. 30.33 237. I never cared to meddle with things that were controverted and in dispute amongst the Saints especially things of the lowest nature yet it pleased me much to contend with great earnestness for the Word of Faith and the remission of sins by the Death and Sufferings of Jesus but I say as to other things