stand its owne ground nor rest in one place cleave to one taske For the bent of spirit to one settled object studie calling or lawfull object will divert the vaine minde from frothie fancies and ideas of uncleane thoughts companies and allurements A spirit whose banks runne full of employment will hardly be unsettled but holdes Satan at staves end Aske thy gadding roaving heart whither she will whence shee comes and what is her busines as watchmen do Roagues Examine the ground and warrant of thy journeys travailes errands and wandrings up and downe forsaking thy station and family Set thy kinfe to thy throate if thou bee an Athenian dayly lusting after new places companies pleasures meetings and delight And whatsoever savors of carnall and sensuall desire know it cannot but threaten mischeefe and dispossesse thee of thy watch I speake still of such as in appearance have given their names to Chirst even these for I judge none let every man judge himselfe have so sarre taken liberties to themselves in the brink that they have fallen into the water One of them once much pleasing himselfe in admiring the features and beauties of women and stroaking the cheekes of one with Wantonnesse was by his wiser neighbour warned therof saying These crimson faces so he cald them will sadly cost you the setting on one day and so it fell out soone after for such an aspersion was soone after cast upon him whether true from man or just with God as brought his hoary head to the grave with sorrow To teach all such gnats to beware how neere they fly to the candle lest they bee burnt And thus much for inward abhorrings As touching outward I will repeat nothing before said in the chastity of Prevention onely whatsoever occasion threatens any affront to the fort of Chastity and the preseving of the whole man in integrity and honour renounce it And so much for the first of the foure heads of counsell against this sinne of uncleannesse to wit Abhorring of somewhat be spoken The second counsell is to meditate of somewhat And whereof Surely of such things as might helpe to quash and quell lust and that partly concerning the sinne it selfe and partly the penalties thereof And both these specialls of Meditation must be attended with two properties in generall First that this meditation be wise and secondly that it bee deepe First I say wise for I would have this noted that some things are of that nature that some kind of musing of them is rather an incensing of the heart unto the sinne then any checking thereof As are all such evills as border upon the sensuall appetite and concupiscible faculty of which sort especially is this sinne of uncleannesse Many complaine that they muse much of the odiousnesse therof that so they might abhorre it But they finde it more and more to follow their hand and to snare their spirit And so the remedy proves much worse then the disease And it fares with such as it doth with two men at variance who put their quarrels to comprimise But when wise men should set them at one they fall on ripping up all circumstances of unkindnes offered each to other that they part worse enemies then they met and so make the wound incurable So here men meditate of the sensuall and carnall occurrents of this sinne their base meetings words gestures unchaste lookes and acts under pretence of a purpose more fully to detest and abhorre them But by this meane the divel casteth fire into the drie powder of their concupiscence and inflameth them to it the more The reason is because the sense and fleshly familiarity of the thoughts doe prevaile against the spirituall hatred thereof So it fares in other temptations of an hideous nature as Atheisticall thoughts against the Majesty of God or blasphemous thoughts against the Scriptures or the essence and Attributes of God the basenesse whereof the more we plod upon especially while Satans wild fire is in the spirit the more we are snared therewith Therefore in such cases as these the practice of Elisha to the servant of Jehoram is to be followed Wee must pray against the tenacity thereof and force our selves to handle such thoughts roughly at the doore and in no sort to give place to them as knowing their Masters feet is not farre behind them Tosse not thoughts off and on about passages which tickle the fancy and wind in deeplier into it then it can bee rid thereof yea though they were most irkesome to it But take up the sinne in the whole lumpe and bundle muse of the bitter roote whence it comes as David did in his Meditations Incense thy soule against the body of corruption whence it flowes that wherein thy Mother conceived thee and thence descend to the fruits of it as the wound which it leaves upon the conscence the wrath of God which it pulls upon it selfe the curse of it how it makes all the soile barren blastes and wastes the grace of God or the least shew of any Keepe it thus at staves end but tamper not much with pitch lest we be defiled Such unwise meditation is not water to quench but oile to encrease the flame Secondly let this meditation be deepe and solemne both about the properties and the penalties of this sinne Touching the former the first meditation about it is how spirituall a wickednesse it is especially under the Cospell It s like Absaloms incest commited shamelessely in the sight of the Sun before all Israel It doth not onely sin against morall light of the naturall conscience but also against the grace of God and the remedy offered therby For the grace of God hath appeared to all and teacheth them to denie all ungodlinesse and fleshly lusts and to live soberly godly and purely in this present world Davids adultery was a morall act but yet inseparable from spirituall wickednesse for he resisted conscience in point not of morall light onely as any heathen might doe but of grace and mercy from God teaching him to abhorre it Yea this very thing was the thing that made the Lord so severely punish it both then and after even because hee fought against his spirituall light embracing a lust and the sweet of a base heart with the losse of that sweet mercy of God which he had tasted Yea against that sweet communion with God which hee had formerly enjoyed both which hee knew would bee wasted hereby as also that hereby the spirit of God was displeased and vexed with this rebellion and the effects thereof and hâ—s conscience gulled downe and defiled with sensuality and security yea hardned by the deceitfulnesse of sinne And hereby the enemies of God were caused to blaspheme God his worship and the generation of the righteous For our better conceiving of this point in my judgement the most weighty of all to gaster a soule from such Abomination let us observe how the holy
where love is entire but want of religion is not easily recompenced with externals be wise not to stumble too much at the former neither let heat of affection snare and cousen thee in the latter So much for the meanes to be used for marrying in the Lord. And to this issue pertaines all this discourse therefore still I so conclude as I began And because no bad marriage befals any where the husbands sinne is not chiefe either because himselfe is bad or erreth in judging the wife the woman having onely a refusing voyce not a chusing but the man having the prerogative of choice as the leader of the businesse therefore let the man especially looke to himselfe It s not for the modesty of the womans sexe to play the suitour to put forth her selfe towards the man but to wait till God offer her an object of consideration and I seldome have noted matches very succesfull in this kinde I remember the answer of a wise man to a Gentlewoman which told him she could love him before any man he answered her but of al others I dare not venture upon you for my wife He considered that such pangs in that humorous sex cannot come from judgement because they thwart an ordinance and as a sudden torrent of passion or heat causeth them so they suddenly fall as fast and leave the channell dry when the humour is over then coole blood succeeds and checks the party for rashnesse workes a dislike of the choice and a very indifferent spirit to the husband thinking him to be too meane for them and so little joying in him waxing darke and farre from that sweet temper of amity and subjection which a wife should bewray Therefore ye husbands be not gulled with easie matches they are not so easie to forgoe as to get the furthest way about is the neerest way home There is a pleasingnesse in shew to be fancied by a woman to be offred that estate which I could never have expected but when all is said that can be it is too easie to prove happy what it may prove I cannot say but since it s not of God and is against the modesty of that sex I can see no great hope of it This by the way I end my counsell with a two-fold question One is this if say some we stay till these choice marriages be offred us we may wrong our hopes passing the time of our virginity and youth vainly away To whom I say I speake to none in this kinde save to the religious let the rest move in their owne spheare commit thy way to Iehovah and he will effect it where there is truth of grace it cannot lye hid some way or other the Lord shall provide and the labour of thy love shall not be concealed feare not the worlds feares cry not a confederacy where they cry it but wait and there will alway be some men who will be as jealous as women to plunge themselves into a crosse marriage as glad of thee as thou of him it s a reciprocall case and hee who beleeves makes no more haste then good speed Thy worth shall breake out as the light and thy patience and modesty as the noone day Another is whether should we goe to finde out such for we see the families of such as had name of religion are now degenerate and empty of such choice None doe more degenerate to pride vanity and prophanenesse then the children of many Ministers and professours which have bin religious yea many townes anciently of note for such yet are now become as barren as any other To whom I answer when the people came and told Samuel that his children walked not in his wayes it was not so much from any offence at their sinne as for their owne ends to make them a King many upbraid good families because they are willing to balke them and to looke otherwhere Sure I am that families are not so wanting of good matches as the good matches who are in them are disregarded But further be it true Gods rules are sleighted in all places now a dayes and religion was never thicker sowne nor come up thinner then now what wonder if sinne carry this duty downe the streame of contempt as well as others yet I say is religion gone quite out of all families Though it be entailed to no one yet cannot free grace plant it selfe where it listeth if it leave one can it not chuse another religion for ought I see may lye long enough except excesse of portion smell her out Oh! follow not the streame conforme not to the fashion of this world God is tyed to no places families congregations he is no accepter of persons but in all places where his name is feared and called upon there will he blesse Such shall not need to distrust God hee makes none a soone of Abraham but he makes a daughter of Abraham also meet for him use meanes to finde them out and having so done preferre pearles before pibbles and the Lord shall bring the good to the good for he is a God of order not of confusion Quest 3 But will some say perhaps we have found out a jewell but it s in a dunghill a good husband or wife but the parents bad the kindred bad and no encouragement to proceed I answer as a bad wife is never the better because graced with a good so neither ought a choice either wife or husband be too much sullied by a bad family it s their ill lot to be so but that grace that made Lot eminently good Noah excellently righteous in their sinfull times doth even more abundantly requite that blemish with the select religion of some one among them I blame no man if with a good wife he would be glad to marry to a good family and stocke but in another respect I would account that grace which is unstained with so much ill being in the midst of it more approved and tried with the touchstone then that which growes up together with the grace of a family for company It s some grace to a Lilly to grow among thorns and a Rose looks the more beautifull among thistles contraries set one against another are the more orient I should not refuse a truly vertuous companion for the cause And this be said of the second maine rule for such as are upon entrance of marriage I goe to the third The third dutie concernes the two parties after their Contract viz. to spend that space betweene it and marriage as a more due and solemn season for a preparation of themselves to the estate and conversation of marriage to come But because I foresee that the Reader will expect that somewhat be said in this Treatise touching a Contract I will therefore suspend this third advice till I come to that argument in the fift chapter at the end thereof Thus much for this Chapter
appeare Thirdly and more especially those severall duties of worship which in private and apart from the other family do concerne them which although they ought to performe alone also yet not alwaies but jointly and mutually as to conferre read pray confesse and give thanks Fourthly they must be joint in the duties of charity to the poore harberousnes to strangers reliefe of other both publique causes and private persons whom by occasion God offereth to their regard Fifthly that mutuall harmony in all religious relations both towards themselves as instruction reproofe advice admonition or encouragement or else others in the Communion of Saints of which reade more at large in my Catechisme Part 2. Artic. 4. or else in their generall and exemplary conversation in the sight of the world which when it is mutuall is resembled in the glasse of each others practice but if not then looses her beauty as we see in the opposition which the holy Ghost makes betweene Abigail and Nabal in that point E're I answer any questions about this I must ground and prove it by reasons and Scripture For the latter it needs not many proofes That of these two worthies Luc. 1. 6. may be sufficient of Zachary and Elizabeth that both were upright before God in all the Commandements and ordinances of the Lord without reproofe In which sentence most of those 5. particulers named before are touched That of the Apostle may be added that they defraud not each other except in the case of fasting least saith he your praiers be hindred that is your joint communion in religious worship Now if there must be such an entercourse in extraordinary duties how much more in ordinary But it s objected that Zachary cap. 12. bids them in their deepe humiliations to be apart this seemes to contradict jointnes I answer The phrase is not to be exclusively taken that they should alway be apart for the Prophets scope in the words is that there be singular uprightnesse in their humiliations for which cause he enjoines secrecy because he mournes truly who mournes without witnesse but this excludes not jointnesse in other times and cases because fervency being as well required in them as sincerity which is more stirred up by mutualnesse it is meete they should bee mutuall in that respect as apart in the other So that these two as occasion differs exclude not each other And there is speciall reason of this duty For first God is not now the God of them apart as before but jointly as married of them I say and of their seed and therefore now Reas 1 God must be sought jointly by them both not onely in severall as in their former estate Secondly the good things which they receive from God though they pertaine to their severall happinesse as their faith hope knowledge yet they reach to the furtherance of each others grace if they be bound then to trade with the whole body of Communion for the increace of grace how much more one with another Thirdly whatsoever they enjoy good or evill in a manner they enjoy it in common Their sinnes are common God may punish the one in the other their gifts and graces are common both blessed for the others sake their infirmities are common each being a fellow feeler of the other their blessings as health wealth successe are common their calling and businesse common tending to the common good of them and theirs their crosses common yea their punishments their posterity their dwelling their friends are common Shall their God then bee severall Shall their religion and worship bee disjointed No sure mutuall wants and needs must unite and reconcile them to one God with common consent Fourthly Religion is the golden Cement of all fellowships and unions both to knit and to sanctifie the same more firmely and closely together That union which is not thus fastened is but as the union of those foxes backward by firebrands in their tailes soone dissolved and very hurtfull The Iewes have a pretty observation upon the Ebrew name of the woman the first and last letters whereof make up the name Iah God which if they be taken from the middle letters leave all in a combustion for they signifie fire If God inclose not marriage both before and after and be not in the middest of it by this band of religious feare marriage is nothing save a fire a contentious and an unpeaceable condition But this consent of both in the Lord is the most firme and blessed of all Those tearmes are ever strongest and best agreed which agree in the best third or couple Now the Lord is the best and the safest band What a sweet glasse is it for husband and wife to see each others face yea heart in to be acquainted with each others graces or wants to be assured of each others love and loiall affection then to looke how they stand affected to the band of their union I meane fellowship in religion faith hope and the fruits Fifthly let us examine this truth but onely in one prime and chiefe act of religion and that is faith in the alsufficiencie of providence and that will teach us the rest What is the married estate save a very stage of wordly care to act her part Single persons never come to understand what care meanes till marriage come That 's the black oxe which treades heard upon them How shall this tread be borne except faith in the promise act another part of holy carelesnesse I meane in point of carking Surely as the fashion of some countries is to hang up a care-cloth in the Bride-chamber to coole the heat of other affections in the married and to put them in mind what an estate they are entring upon so well may this cloth of care ever hang in their chamber except faith take it downe and fasten their care upon him that careth for them cutting off all superflous carking Now this grace belongs jointly to both of them not only to the husband who followes the world hard to please his wife but also to the wife who as the Apostle saith is as ready to please him What a gulfe of care doe both implunge themselves into except the Lord vouchafe them his antidote What craft trickes coosenages dâ—ceits will they not find out to scrape and rake together all being fish that comes into their net What clamors discontents and brawles will arise if defeated of their wills What basenesse will utter it selfe upon any other expences then expected But let the Lord be their portion rocke and defence and what can distract them How sweetly will both draw in this yoake if as they have made God the God of the hilles so they can make him of the vallies I meane the God of their bodies as well as their soules Now if this one joint gift do so runne through all their life what will joint consent in all graces do as hope of salvation fitnesse to die
therof It s an honour to an house to be frequented by the great and honorable How much more when the Lord of heaven and earth shall condescend to dwell in our houses to come in to sit and sup with us whom should he sooner doe so unto then to the peaceable and consenting we know that old maxime of Machiavell if thou wilt reigne divide And our Savior affirmes it If Satan cast out Satan how shall his Kingdome endure No surely Satan must cast out unity and amity if he meane to reigne that he may bring in hellish discord and confusion Even so if God will reigne hee must cast out Satan that he may bring in union and consent between couples There is no agreement betwixt Christ and Belial light and darknes Then and never till then shall religion prayer Sabbathduties holy exercises love to the Saints be enterteyned when consent hath taken up the roome of each others heart So much may serve for Reasons But wherin may some say standes this Consent Answ I answer By these few heads it may bee conceived for the particulars of consent they are infinite as the occasions of life are First in consent of spirit of minde I meane and affection Secondly consent of speech or the tongue Thirdly consent of practice and endeavors For the first of these The principle of marriage consent must be rooted in the heart That each thinke and affect the same things As in Ezekiel its saide of the beasts and the wheeles that when the one went forward the other did so and when the beasts were lifted up the wheeles were lifted up for the spirits of the beaâ—ts were in the wheeles So ought it to be between couples one judgement one mind one heart one soule in two bodies the spirit of the wife in the husband and his in the Lord. That which the flatterer saith in the CoÌ„edy the hatred of the name beeing remooved that should the wife say to the husband Sayst thou a thing So say I. Deniest thou I deny it too And in a word I am prepared for the nonce to agree with thee in all things good honest What is more beautifull to behold in marriage theÌ„ that wherof it is a ResemblaÌ„ce I meane the harmony betweene the Lord Iesus the head and the members to wit his Church Reade the Canticles See how the Church ecchoeth her husbands voyce in all he speaks see how shee pleases her selfe in his comely proportion attire gestures And he againe in hers how shee depends wholly upon his becke and countenance joies in his presence mournes in his absence repozes her selfe in his bosome beeing asleep watcheth his awaking followes after him hangs upon him in his departing longs for his returne and having lost him runs after him as one distracted and bewraies her life to be bound up in his as Iacobs in Benjamins This inward complacence welpleasing and welapayednesse of couples in each other is the very quintessence of marriage peace and contentment As in the mysticall body of Christ we see what an instinct is in them to maynteine their owne beeing in the welfare of each other All envy wrath suspicion jealousie unkindnes pride censure and whatsoever else savoring of selflove and seperation beeing odious to them Each doing his owne service content with his owne portion mourning with any that is ill at ease and glad of their welfare Secondly this consent must be in the speech and language of them both It s true generally but in this point specially That speech is the discoverer of the mind Looke what the abundance of the heart is that will vent it selfe at the mouth So the husband and wife should answer to each other as Iehoshaphat to Iehoram I am as thou art my people are as thine my horses as thine Yea the speech of each to other should bee without flattery as the glasse to behold each other in As face answers to face in the water so doth a man accomodate himselfe to his friend sayth Salomon how much more the husband and wife to each other They should even resemble each the others frame and temper in the Lord with all ingenuity As the beames do represent the Sun in her heat and light so should the sweet carriage of the wife argue the body which gives her influence even her husbands vertues And lastly there ought not onely to be this harmony in presence onely but in absence also even in the way of their Conversation abroad in company in duties of Sabbath of Christian communion whether together or asunder such should be the reflexion of a wives carriage that all that see her may see the wisdome thoughts affections of the husband in her not a carriage of her owne as of one severed from his way slighting his as if shee were wiser but humbly submitting judgment will and spirit to his in the Lord and where there is any difference so it be grounded keeping it secret and acquainting God with it as shee did when she felt strife in her wombe that he might reconcile it and settle it aright in time For in such a Case discreet concealment will far sooner reduce them together then open expression of their differences The actions of the one should bee the shadow of the others yea a modell thereof As it was once betweene David and his new subjects whatsoever liked David that was presently pleasing to all his people they agreed at an haires bredth This threefold corde of heart mouth and worke is not easily broken Vses I shall make these three appear better in uses of the point to the which I hasten Vse 1 First then what bitter reproofe is this to the most even of such as seeme to stand to Gods barre and triall I passe by the ruder sort of barbarous people rusticall and profane who never yet came into the garden where this grace grew such as passe their daies eyther in brutish and Nabalish churlishnes brawling fighting and quarrelling together or else consent onely in evill serving each the others turne according to those vices they are enclined unto as the world to take together portions for their childreÌ„ by hooke or crooke or pleasures and libertyes or pride of life and fashions or envious pursuit of their Enemâ—es slander or the like sins of the tongue I say to leave such who would looke for such differences of spirit and temper among such as pretend great zeale in profession A man would thinke when hee lookes narrowly into them that they are set as marks of opposition each to other then resemblers of their affections joyes and desires verely I have often seen it to the shame of such I speake it that among some ignorant couples whom onely naturall likenes of maners or civill education hath handsomed there is found more love and accorde then among some such as daily keep on foot the worship of God in their families Shall I praise
borne it but lo she that are with me out of one dish dranke out of one cup dipt her morsels in the same vinegar lay in my bosome and was one with mee she hath beene as rottennes to my bones as smoake to mine eyes and as a continuall dropping Oh! if the eye be blind how great is that darkenes And if shee who was made for the choysest helper for what earthly comfort is like her who is like her self proove a plague and hurt to a man how great must that wound proove As the discord of brethren is therefore like the brasen barres of a Pallace because they are in place of neerest lovers so the hurt of a wife is unspeakebly intolerable because she breakes that law in pieces which ordeyned her to the contrary For there is a cursed generation of women out of measure sinfull whose cheefe revenge is to whet their teene upon their husbands and to kill their hearts not onely with despitefull tongues but also malitious attempts professing they do it to crosse them Such as these I deny not to be helpers for they helpe their husbands to a sad heart to a weary life to bitter complaints to such as they dare trust for if they had no bosomes to emprie it into their hearts would breake to an empty purse to a rotten name to a ragged coate they helpe them ere they have done â—o the sheete to the stockes to the Gallowes to hell it selfe without mercy by their severall hurtfull inventions Thus was not Abigail to Nabal though a beast if she had scorned him so farre as to renounce helpfulnes she would not have endangered her life for his safety but left him to shift for himselfe But such presidents as Dalila Iezabel Jobs wife and the like helplesse hurtfull wives joying rather in their husbands harmes and thrusting them forward when they are falling better sute to many of our wives then that out worne end of Abigails Alas such a patterne serves rather for wonderment then honor imitation Do wee not see how jolly and proud Dames set up a private wealth to themselves with neglect of the common good of husbands and families Have we not coy peeces that affect a singularity of Diet apparrel company losty carriage above and apart from their husbands Publique shame which yet now restrains most abuses not curbing these Are those helpers that jolly it out and ruffle it in the misery debts banqueruptnes and dejection of their husbands brave in their ruffes and cloathes when they are all ragged costly in their fare when they are faine to bite short sit at the upper end of the Table when Tom foole must stand with finger in hole behind the doore Are these helpers or harlots trow you How else should it be verefied of women which is foretold of al sorts by Paul in these latter daies They should be lovers of themselves proud unnaturall trecherous What traitor is like a bosome one And well might these proverbiall speeches arise that A man may thrive if he have his wifes good wil Or A mant hat marries a second wife with Children need take no thought to purchase house and land These argue that although the case may be otherwise in many wives yet generally it is dangerous especially in second marriages with widowes Vse 2 Secondly be it exhortation to all that would bee good wives that they be helpfull ones As once that worthy Divine Master Perkins wrote upon his study doore Thou art a Minister of the word that doe so should a good wife upon her palmes and fringes for an helper thou wert made this looke to mind the end of thy creation carry it with thee as thy charge I was made for an helper Not for an helper on way and an hurter ten but an only helper So that as Law is the soule of the state the soule is wholly and in each finge of the body so should my helpfulnesse begin at husband and animate all the family But especially it should be the life of my husband his soule I am bound chiefly to helpe by godly counsell his spirit I must helpe by my cheerfull behavior his body I must cherish with my best benevolence his name I must tenderly honour his sorrowes I must wisely mitigate his joyes I must sympathize his dangers I must prevent his health and state I must uphold and when I have thus done as the Bee gathering hony as the Sheep bearing a fleece as the Oxe plowing the ground as the builder framing the house not for their owne uses but the commodity of others so must the helpfull wife all these I have done not for my selfe but for my husband Yea looke what instinct Nature Art hath put into these creatures that hath grace and helpfulnesse put into me An helper I was made for this oh Lord let me look to If I do it of a willing vertuous mind there is praise If not yet a necessity is layd upon me and wo to me if I be not an helper who ever shunned or waived the end of their creation but vengeance pursued them as traytors to Nature to heaven I was not made for my selfe but for another each part of the house claiming a part of me As he said once to a coy Virgin thy virginity is not all thine to dispose of in part it s thy parents father hath a stroke in it mother another and kindred a third Fight not against all but be his whom they would have thee So say I to thee being a wife and an helper Thy womanhood thy helpfulnesse is not thine it s thy husbands his body state posterity claime it from thee he laies claime to all not as that Tyrant did all thy wives silver and gold is mine but as one that is invested in all thou hast by peculiar providence I live not by rule or examples the unhelpfull shall not teach me to be a hurter the helpfull shall not so teach me as if I followed for their sake only but for his who hath subjected me to helpfulnesse Vse 3 Lastly its incouragement to all good wives to looke off from the degenerate practice of this world which might pull them from this vertue If she be such an helper to thee oh husband as I have said comfort thy selfe in her comfort and encourage her thy selfe against all dismayments And if shee bee so towards a lewed companion who hath not the grace to prise her let mee here from God encourage her God requite thee poore soule for the world cannot thine husband will not God make his way the strength of the upright in the thankfulnesse of both Thou canst doe no more then thou canst If a bad husband will yet ruine all well yet as long as thou couldest thou hast held carte on wheeles The Lord shall be thy helper the strong helper of an helpefull wife Others shall helpe thee Thou shalt not bee forsaken in thy greatest straits And touching this second duty
corruption cannot recover it by faith and this disquiets them the losse of a pig a chicken will vexe by consent because there is a worse vexer within But as wee know if a woman had found a pearle worth an hundreth pound shee would be overjoyed Christ speakes but of a groate so that if she should heare she had lost one of her goslings it would little affect her so if this faith were within the bosome the losses of toies the occasions of common anger in the family would cease That would change all as Christ calmed the sea And secondly for the life of it what gold is so precious as is the triall of faith Marriage is as full of troubles as a Crowne of cares Sorrow there is sufficient to each day to a womaÌ„ by name breeding bearing bringing forth many losses she meetes with false aspersions feare of debts wrong of ill neighbors and enemies deprivall of health her deerest children sundry diseases ill successes what were then the life of a woman under all these but miserie if she beleeved not in the son of God and hoped for a good end That although she cannot say All is yet she may say All shal be well when the houre of Redeemed ones is come This life of faith wil make the bush though it burne yet not to consume and will bring the Son of God to walke with her in the hot fornace who wil keep away the savor as wel as the power of fire from theÌ„ Therfore Sara and the widow of Zarepta and of Shunem and Rebecca are brought in as beleevers in that cloude of witnesses as well as Abraham and Isaac and Iacob So base is that speech of some Atheists that women must meddle with no faith but wrap themselves up in their husbands A fourth grace is Innocency and truth A compound of two in one The one is a brestplate of defence the other a Golden Girdle to gird all other graces of Gods spirit close to her These I grant are peeces or Armor for Champions but I understand my selfe to speake of women Captains and conquerors as I tolde you before and you know fayth is no effeminate grace though feminine but overcomes the world And why should a shield of Faith which serves to defend both the body and the Armour of it too go without a Brestplate and a girdle Debora if shee will go into the feeld shee must be armed and a woman is not free from assaults and perill shot and darts aswel as a man in this feeld of the worlde therfore must learne to put on this armour God hath no other for men then women though women must not put on mens apparrel yet they must be clad in the same armor of light That will make them shot-free The Emperor Charles the 5. went among the thickest of his souldiers and tolde his men That a true Emperor was never shot with a Bullet But I am sure of this That this Brest plate is armor of proofe An innocent hermelesse quiet woman shall not be ashamed to meete her enemies in the gates yea though it were of hell wheÌ„ things come to be debated her uprightnes and righteousnes shall deliver her Innocency shal be her defence against evill tongues abroad truth against an ill conscience within wheras the guilty and treacherous woman will betray her selfe and lose the day That very harlot true in nothing but that shee was the infants mothe â—by her truth escaped the swords censure A miescheevous woman or a woman-lyar who can endure And who would not go or ride a far journey to see this other warlike woman Those Heroines of whom story and Poëts so talke as Penthesilea and the like were not so gracefull a sight nor those Amazons that seared off one dug that they might shoot were no such spectacles as these women clad in innocency and truthe Their name is more fragrant then sweet oyntment and there is no dead fly to make it stinke A fifth grace is zeale and prety For the former it serves to make the woman a stirring housewife for God as Diligence makes her so for her husband Meeknesse in her own matters well becomes her who is earnest in Gods If a woman man would be hot and fiery let her turne it to God and for his cause and this will make her coole and calme in her own As bleeding on the arme by art stops unnaturall bleeding by fluxe so zeale for God cooles the heat of corrupt passion to man This grace becomes this sexe the rather because it argues truth of grace for else calmenesse of her frame naturally carries her to flatnesse and fulsomnesse It must be with a Christian woman as it is in nature with the female sexe of the creatures Nature hath put a fircenesse into the female because of the impotency thereof therefore the she Beare the Lyonesse are the most raging and cruell But grace makes that naturall impotency of the woman turne impotency for God as to provoke her husband with sweet affections for his servants and worship It was a great praise for the sexe that God would send his Prophet in the famine rather to try the piety of the widdow of Zareptha an heathen then any of the sonnes of Israel And it was the honour of those wealthy women Joanna the wife of Herods Steward and other the like to be the pious supporters of the Lord Iesus his body when hee had not whereon to lay his head And at this day if estimation be made God is as much if not more honoured with the forwardnesse of women then of men their nature being fearfull hath ever beene proner to superstition as in Ezekiel those women that wept from Tammuz those devout Grecian Gentlewomen stird up by the Iewes against Paul and where they are out of the way none are worse But grace overruling corruption turnes superstition into zeale and devotion into religion and then its comely Mens spirits are hardier doe not so easily feare Majesty tremble at judgemnts beleeve promises shun sinne love good as women so that when they are in the way none are better none sooner embrace the Gospell if it come a new to a place none more readily joine together in communion none more tender hearted to the distressed and such as suffer for Christs name God hath his women that wove scarlet and twined linnen for his Tabernacle as Manasseh had for his Idolls Oh! how sweet a sight is it to see these Votaries not of the Pope but the Lord Iesus who can thinke of that honorable Countesse of Richmond and Derby without admiration the founder of so many Colledges and Hospitalls I omit to speake of all whose praise is in the gospell wee have many worthy momen in our daies exceeding men in these pieties and zealous duties Oh goe on hold your daily entercourse with God! keepe quarter with heaven have your conversation where your treasure is and with that
thou art old its ill ending it were better beginning with it in thy youth if God would Yet so it is many have beene faine to hang up the harpes of their youth upon the wislowes of sad marriage in old age and sing this new life requiâ—es other manners other abearing before I was carried upon Eagles wings now I must shift for my selfe my battels were once wont to bee fought to my hand but now I must knowe warre and fight my own Now I am tried indeed what is in my heart what patience what selfe-deniall is in it yea my best wits to please to conceale what I cannot amend and all too little Doe you wonder Who should have told you that a good wife was worth the thanks while you had her Or that she was any better jewell then you thought you deserved till she was taken away If nothing but wanting can convince your folly why should not medicine cure your maladie To end this former branch If your selves have sped well in a businesse of such hasard why doe you not guide others by your experience to make a good choice you will say marriage makings are thanklesse offices I grant it that if all I have premised be true I thinke some may con them small thanke who have holpen them to their marriages But as hard as the world goes and although all hopes must rest upon proofe yet by your leave some may give a shrewder guesse then others and say more touching aptnesse or unaptnesse howsoever I say to you as those Lepers having stored themselves with victualls and booty wee doe not well to suffer our brethren to starve And although the best care may miscarry yet the care is in no fault but rather much worse it must bee where Counsellors are wanting Secondly I say to all such good couples be wise lâ—ve love and leave What hath a man of all his sore labours under the Sunne or what profits it to spend our life in needlesse toile and vexation Live first in the joifull improovement of all those graces and blessings where with God hath endowed you Take and mutually possesse each others vertues grow by the helpe of others more inward holy usefull in the communion of Saints Let your streames flow to others enjoy not all to your selves Love secondly endeere your hearts in each other mutually Suffer not Satan to come betweene barke and tree and through a satiety of Blessings to turne all to wearinesse and fulsomenesse to grow estranged in your affections yea ready to take pritches at each other forgetting Gods love to you both If some had those advantages we have should you say of consent and peace oh what a close walking with God would it produce without separation whereas we vanish how would they settle religion and government of family which they would and cannot wee might and will not Leave lastly each other willingly and contentedly when God shall determine your short pilgrimage which will so much the easilier be if you have lived and loved before the parting will be bitter however yet much worse if all be to bee done at death Sweeter will the parting be upon experience of former marriage improovements then upon guilt of remedilesse errors But I say the time is short use the world as if you used it not buy as if you bought not marry as if you married not doe all moderately knocke off before unloose in season There hath beene a time of embracing there must come another far from it By that rejoicing you have had in Christ die daily and tell each it other in your best rejoicing I bid you not do as heathens set a scul before you on your marriage day with a Motto What I have bin thou art and what I am thou shalt be But know marriage happines is but the liberty of a prison Squeez it not too hard lest you force blood use it slightly and it will comfort you Say not its good being here build not Tabernacles Matth. 17. 4. Let not death knocke unawares Its pitty a man should be in love with shells on the shore as to forget the sip and be swept away or love the husband here forgetting Christ a carnall relation renonuncing an eternall Vse 3 This point also to conclude all is instruction to shadow out the priviledge of them who are united to Christ by the marriage of faith and the spirit It s a mystery as Paul calles it And as sometimes he teaches married persons their duties by the mutuall union of Christ and the Church so also another while he describes the true union and Amity of Christ and the spouse by the samenes of flesh which marriage causeth betweene husband and wife A word or two of both and first how Christ and his spouse meet For looke how Eliâ—zer was a spokesman between Isaac and Rebecca to draw her into a marriage knot with him and as he carryed the Bracelets and tokens sent in Isaac's name to allure her to him also declared the abundant wealth of Abraham in cattel gold and jewells all to bestow upon his onely son Isaac that so the richnesse and content fulnesse of the match might perswade Rebecca So doth the Lord by his spokesmen the Messengers reveale to his Church by his spirit all his wealth and Treasures of wisedome and knowledge all put into the flesh of the Lord Iesus and tells her 1. Cor. 1. all the goods which he hath giveÌ„ us in him that he may therby surprise her heart and gaine her to be his he sets out his son from head to foote in all amiablenesse of person and graces that his eyes and looks might wound her and steale her heart away from trash and toies of the world It is he who not only so but where as he found her unapt for himself an Amorite an Hittite in her blood a base Captive he shaves off her hayre pares her nailes washes her and makes her cleane he bestowes her dowry upon her not as men upon their wyves for they looke for it from them thinking them little without it he discovers the miserable desolate and forlorne life of her wofull vriginity wherin as an orphan she lay open to all enemyes all wrongs and injuries convinces her that her support and welfare is meerly from himselfe Nay tells her that shee was engaged before to a most cursed husband who would have undone her he undertakes to stab him and to make her way cleer for the marriage of himselfe the old contract being dissolved He becomes an earnest suiter an hot lover of hers and refuses no patience to winne her even till his locks be full of the dew of the night All to make her his owne his only one that having renounced not only base qualities but her own fathers house her selfe her name and all her owne happinesse he may be happy in her and she in him alone for he can endure no corryvall and
Christ be not the cover from the storme and raine sinne must needes be and although it be but a sorry one which will one day wet to the skin yet it must serve the whilst Subdue therefore thy soule with these terrors as Christ saith let them sinke deeply into thine heart It is thy selfe it serves to keepe thee from the pathes of death As our Saviour then when he bids watch tell us he saith it to the Disciples and to all so I wish that this watchword might reach to all none excepted even forward professors themselves I much feare this sin is rise among many even of such for profession cannot alone quit us of secret profanenes So neer is the flesh so sly is Satan so copious is a false heart of evasions that no sort of people is free There want not fearful examples at this day of each degree of men and women I need not silence that which all tongues jangle the ears of the good might tingle withal what debauched varlets there are of late brought forth from among theÌ„ who have crept in amongst the zealous servants of Christ and taken upon them to be the forwardest To conceale is now too late too late to say tell it not Gath for its all over the places about their dwelling One being reprooved for attempting the maides who came to his house to folly answered though I may not covet my neighbors maid yet for his owne maides or those that offred themselves he thought he might It s time now my brethren of of all sorts to cease striving to hold â—â—le in your palme it s rather time to apply corrasives The best way now is in taking notice of these to say they were among us they were not of us if they had they would not so fouly have gone out of us And yet were it not that I feare doing hurt I would adde that I must not nor dare finally to censure every owne as lost who is guilty of this sin but I know ten to one of these are hypocrites though for causes God may leave some odde person whose repentance he purposes to make as eminent as ever his sinne was and moreover to use this sinne in others as a forcible occasion to convert them from all sinne But of this after Of the hypocrites I say let him that is filthy be filthy still of the other the Lord give them grace with Achan in the midst of their reproach to give glory to God wofull creatures the whiles weltering in their misery from whom the unclean spirit seemed to bee cast out and they to have escaped the pollution of the world through lust but through their loosenesse the divell hath returned into their hearts and brought seven spirits with him worse then the former so that if that stronger man throw not out this strong the end of such will proove worse then the beginning Consider all such profession cannot dispence with you rather it shall make your sinne treble and heate hell seven times hotter If wee never found any other effect of the sinnes of our ignorance save shame and death what are wee like to finde for sinnes against knowledge Truly men are strangely impudent and hardned in these daies this makes me insist as I doe Feare not him who can destroy the body onely and not the soule but him who can cast both bodies and soules into hell I say feare him Get we our spirits truely moulded into this terrour of God! Those Corinthians pretended the liberty of the Gospell against the terror of the Law But how doth Paul answer them Surely by a fit instance of the Isralites in the wildernesse committing filthinesse at Peor Are you better then they had not they the word the ordinances the cloud the manna and rocke but God was never the better pleased with them for that I Their carcasses all fell and were made dung in the wildernesse Therefore deceive not your selves Be not you fornicators as they â— and were destroyed of the destroyer Their Angell of presence turn'd their destroyer for their uncleannesse If this bee all the priviledge of your bare profession let whose will venture but venture not yee well may some say wee would faine bee of Gods minde but our hearts are so giddy and slight in this point that wee cannot get them to bee seriously awed by Gods judgements I answer I shall referre it to the Exhortation following in the next Chapter in the meane time consider what hath beene said in this CHAP. XVII And last Conteyning the use of Exhortation with Counsells and Motives to preserve Chastity and avoid uncleannesse Vse 4 I Finish the whole use of the point with Exhortation to this effect that all who truely tremble at this judgement of God against Adulterers and fornicators doe preserve their vessells with as much holinesse and honour as is possible To all such as in the end of this point I shall touch belongs consolation but let it lie by a while untill thou be able to apply it to thy selfe by the experience of what I shall now say Wherefore I exhort all such be chaste and pure in body and spirit passing the whole time of their conversation here in holy prevention and caution against uncleannesse A sollemne duty to bring a cleane body to the marriage bedde to maintaine it so and bring it so to the grave But how will some say may this be effected I answer by observing three counsells and first to Abhorre somewhat Secondly to meditate upon somewhat Thirdly by practising Touching the first Abhorre somwhat within and somewhat without In the prosecution of which three if I shall haply trench upon any thing before touched through the neernesse of the argument let the reader consider that when I wrote that before upon the point of chastity I intended not the handling of this latter part of the verse but I hope I shall avoid any purposed repeatings of ought which the necessity of the order doth not inforce upon me for the avoiding of any interruption For the first of Abhorring First with David Abhorre thy selfe that inward originall corruption of nature the foment of this flame he beginnes at the right end of the staffe with that poison wherewith his mother had warmed him in her wombe Abhorring of some outward acts or penalties of this sinne may goe without any loathing of the fountaine Had it not beene saith David for my naturall staine I had never committed such an actuall abomination as this Alas as the feelde of a poore man vanishes in the Mappe of a whole towne so doth this evill of concupiscence vanish in most mens eie when they take a survey of sinne whereas this inward is the body and that which we se breaking out is but a member as it might be here a toe there a finger of defiled old Adam Till then the mother bee abhorred the daughter will never be renounced Put case thou couldest